#would this count as spoilers? dunno but just in case

[ophelliate]

A brief summary of the AU I mentioned the other day (explains nothing)

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

You Learn Something New Everyday... I Guess

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: none really, just Matt being a little self loathing

Genre: fluff? very very minor angst

Summary: You have a theory about your local vigilante that your friends think is silly (spoiler alert; it's literally not)

A/N: Because I refuse to believe no one has ever seen Daredevil and considered the fact that he is NEVER LOOKIN AT SHIT

***

You spin the straw in your drink while half listening to Foggy and Karen talk to each other about something you lost track of a little while ago. Something about a case last you were paying attention but they tend to spend so much time talking about work even on nights out you can't always keep track of it all.

"So what're your thoughts about the whole thing?" Karen asks as you stare into your glass.

"Y/n!" Foggy nudges you and your eyes snap up.

"Yes! Sorry. What was the question?" You ask.

"Daredevil, what're your thoughts on him?" Foggy nods towards the TV in the bar that's apparently playing a news story about Daredevil's latest escapades.

"He doesn't see." You shrug looking back at your drink.

"Doesn't see what?" Foggy frowns.

"Sorry, that's not quite what I meant to say; I meant he doesn't use his eyes to fight." You say looking up again.

"Wait what?" Karen shakes her head.

"I dunno, the eyes in his mask look opaque but also if you've ever watched him fight he doesn't really... look at things. The whole time his head does this twitchy thing like when dogs hear a sound but can't see it, as if he's trying to hear everything better." You explain.

"Are you- suggesting that Daredevil... is blind?" Karen asks.

"Well it's hard to know for sure if he's completely blind or not but I'd bet that he's probably at least visually impaired."

"You think a vigilante is visually impaired." Foggy scoffs.

"I know it sounds absurd but I mean before the fancy suit and the moniker he was the man in black, he wore like a black cloth that covered his eyes he's obviously not using them." You shrug.

"Maybe he could see through it." He says.

"No- for it to be sheer enough for him to see through it, especially at night it would also probably be sheer enough to see him through, at least in the light, and he's got like an airtight lock on his secret identity. Even before he had the suit." You shake your head. "Maybe that's why." You add with a hum.

"Maybe what's why?"

"If he's visually impaired as I suspect he is, nobody would believe he's Daredevil! I mean he takes on gangs singlehandedly in the shadows of Hell's Kitchen all the time there's no way you'd expect a blind man to be doing all that. It would make the perfect cover story, plus if he gets injured I mean- he's blind nobody would question him saying he bumped into something or fell or even someone threw something and he didn't know. It's kind of genius."

"Look who decided to join us!" Karen smiles excitedly and you turn to see Matt standing between you and Foggy.

"About time loser! Why are all of you so obsessed with work?" You scoff.

"Hi guys." He chuckles.

"Hey man, you'll never guess what theory y/n here has cooked up." Foggy says.

"Hey! Don't talk about me like I'm some tin foil hat looney alright." You point a finger at him.

"Even you admitted how absurd it sounded!" Foggy says.

"Sure but I provided ample evidence to support my claim it's not some baseless conclusion I'm jumping to!" You say.

"It's circumstantial at best." Foggy says.

"Well this isn't a court of law Nelson we're at Josie's and I don't have to be an expert witness to draw conclusions here I think I've more than proved my stance."

"Not beyond a shadow of a doubt!"

"Excuse me we aren't running a criminal trial there's no reason I should have to work to those standards I think- what's the other thing y'all use? A preponderance of the evidence, I think that's more than sufficient-"

"Is one of you going to tell me what this is about or are you going to keep throwing around legal jargon in a bar?" Matt cuts your arguing with Foggy short with a question while Karen gets up to grab him a seat at your table. "Honestly y/n you spend too much time with us, when did you pick up all those phrases anyway?" Matt muses.

"I dunno Foggy likes to throw them at me and I like to be able to fight back." You shrug.

"Y/n thinks Daredevil is blind." Karen tells Matt, returning to her own chair.

"You think Daredevil... like the vigilante is blind?" Matt chuckles.

"See what I mean?" Foggy gestures.

"I don't know that I'd go with totally blind but I think he's visually impaired at least." You nod.

"How do you figure that?" Matt asks.

"Something about his helmet." Foggy says.

"Well that one I can't verify but before he had the devil suit, when he was just the man in black he was basically fighting with a blindfold on. Why would someone with perfect vision handicap themselves that way? Especially taking on criminals severely outnumbered every time it doesn't make sense. Oh and he does this head twitch thing like he's seeing with his ears and not his eyes. Like an animal when locating a sound they turn their ears to it first. It's the perfect cover honestly." You shrug. "Kinda like that kid in Queens."

"What kid?" Foggy asks.

"Another masked hero type, red and blue suit, they call him Spiderman over there." You pull out your phone to find one of the several viral videos of Spiderman you've seen. "To clarify, I don't think he's also blind or anything like Daredevil but I'm pretty sure he's a teenager." You say once the video ends.

"You think that's a child?!" Foggy looks at you incredulously.

"I mean I've seen a few of these clips of him, and between his build and his voice, because he talks in some of these, and his movements- there's almost no way that's an adult, but he can stop a bus with his bare hands so no one is looking at him and assuming a high schooler is doing that. I just happen to know a little too much about anatomy and physiology and he looks like a teenager. Again, another perfect cover, the least likely person."

"So- you watched that guy, do that, and your first thought was 'he can't buy alcohol yet'. Seriously?" Foggy asks.

"Well no actually I didn't think much of it at first but after a few clips, I started to wonder. I mean it's just a guess since his suit covers him from head to toe but I'm pretty confident in it." You shrug.

"You're insane. For this and the Daredevil thing." Karen nods.

"Excuse me for daring to consider all options." You say dramatically and Matt chuckles beside you but doesn't offer much on the subject. From there your conversation pivots topics and you all spend another hour or two talking and drinking before eventually calling it a night and going your separate ways home.

~*~*~

"Y/n." The voice startles you as you walk into your apartment and you let out a scream, clutching your chest as you take in the intruder by your balcony.

"Okay. I know you're a vigilante so you work outside of the law kind of by default here but you better have a damn good reason for breaking into my apartment, as in someone better be on their way to kill me right now or I am going to be so pissed off." You say after a moment because why the hell is Daredevil standing in your apartment?!

"No one is coming to kill you." He shakes his head.

"Then what the hell are you doing here?" You cross your arms.

"I wanna know how you figured it out."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You figured out that I'm- I don't see when I fight. How did you know that?"

"Better question, how did you know that I knew that? Although, I didn't know for sure until you just said that, but how did you know I thought that?" You ask. Daredevil pulls off his helmet and you gasp. "Matt?"

"Don't act coy okay, we both know you knew it was me already." He rolls his eyes.

"No I didn't! If I knew it was you, or thought it was you, I would've said so the other night when we were talking about the whole thing. You know I've never been one to shy away from sharing what I'm thinking- oh my GOD you're daredevil!?" You shake your head as the information sinks in. You don't know which piece of this you're more interested in, the fact that you were right about Daredevil being blind or the fact that he's coincidentally also part of your friend group.

"Oh come on, you spent twenty minutes arguing that you think Daredevil is visually impaired are you telling me it didn't cross your mind for even a moment that it was me?"

"Okay first of all Matthew, you're not the only blind guy this side of the Hudson you know. Going from Daredevil may be visually impaired to Daredevil is the only blind man I know personally is quite a jump considering it was just a theory. Not to mention fair skinned man average height, average build, describes so many men in Hell's Kitchen not to mention the rest of New York. Hell, Tony Stark fits that description and if he wasn't already such an obnoxiously public superhero on the other side of the city I'd believe someone suspecting him of being Daredevil too."

"So you never once thought it was me?" Matt scoffs.

"I mean it crossed my mind once or twice but it's not like I could know for sure. That helmet covers like 80% of your face and you work almost exclusively at night it's not exactly cut and dry to ID you. I mean you've already had a copycat come around once." You explain.

"Why didn't you ask?"

"What?"

"At the bar, the other night, if you thought it was me why didn't you ask me?" He asks.

"Well if I asked and you told me the truth anyone at the bar could've heard and, I know Daredevil has quite a few enemies. If you lied to protect your identity because we were in public well, we both know I expect honesty from you so why risk that rift? And then of course there's the possibility that I was wrong in which case all of you would look at me like I'd grown three heads- not that the whole 'Daredevil is blind' theory didn't already have them looking at me funny but that's besides the point. There was no good outcome for me asking in public. Plus there wasn't even a reason for me to ask you really, I didn't know enough to say you, Matt, and any distinct similarities with you, Daredevil besides the way you react to sound." You shrug.

"What?"

"It was watching you- as Matthew- react to sound that made me piece together the Daredevil thing." You say.

"And you still didn't think it was me?"

"Again you aren't the only blind man around here, I figured reacting to sound that way was just a common trait for people who have to rely on senses other than sight."

"You got everything all figured out don't ya." He shakes his head.

"Well come on I am kind of known for it." You smile and Matt chuckles in spite of himself.

"You're taking this better than I expected. You're not mad."

"That you're a vigilante in your free time? Of course I'm not mad. I've always encouraged you and Foggy and Karen to have lives outside of your job and while your choice is a little... unorthodox, I think everyone should have a hobby. If this is yours I'm all for it. Although it does feel kind of work adjacent since you're like a lawyer but I'll let it go." You muse.

"Foggy and Karen had... very different reactions to the news."

"Wait- Karen and Foggy know?" 

"Yeah- yeah they know. But, I had to tell them because of extenuating circumstances. You, you just guessed it."

"I mean technically it was more of an inference than a guess, plus I didn't even guess that it was you just that the red devil didn't need his eyes for a fight." You shrug. "I can't believe they knew and had me feeling crazy at the table." You chuckle.

"It wasn't their secret to tell. I had to be the one to let you know, they were just keeping their promises-"

"I know. I'm not even mad about it. It's just funny." You shrug.

"You are being very chill about all of this." Matt says.

"So are you like- not fully blind? Because I was operating with the idea that Daredevil didn't have 20/20 vision or anything but like I definitely wasn't thinking total blindness which- I thought you had. So is that not the case? Like are you not fully blind?"

"I am. Kind of. It's hard to explain." He grimaces.

"Well have a seat and we'll discuss i- actually, is your suit clean or did you just get done vigilanteing because I do not want blood or mud on my couch so you'll have to clean up, I can go find one of your accidentally left here hoodies if you need to change." You offer.

"Tonight's battles were pretty clean I think I'm good." He says with his hands up.

"To be on the safe side sit at one of the kitchen stools."

"Yes ma'am." He nods and walks over to a chair to have a seat.

"So- are you totally blind? Yes or no?"

"Technically yes."

"Technically?"

"The entire world looks like it's engulfed in flames. I can see silhouettes sometimes but they're are angry reds and oranges. They do not paint a picture at all really." He explains.

"Interesting." You hum.

"But, I've learned to see in other ways. Sound is a big one. I can even hear people's hearts beating."

"You can hear hearts beating?!" You blink at him.

"Yes." He nods once.

"Can you hear mine?!"

"Yes." Another nod.

"Woah. What do you use that skill for?"

"Number of enemies in a fight, counting the people in a room before I enter it, seeing if someone's lying to me." Matt lists off.

"Have you ever used it on me?"

"You don't lie to me." He shrugs.

"So that's a yes."

"It's a no. Not intentionally anyway. You've never given me a reason to even suspect you of lying." He says.

"So how else do you see?"

"Smell kind of, touch when I can. Sound is the main one though."

"You're like a bat." You giggle.

"Ha ha." His laugh is dripping with sarcasm that only makes you want to giggle more.

"Wait so- if you can do all this shit I take it you don't really need your cane then, do you?"

"Not- not really no."

"It's part of the cover then- isn't it?"

"Correct." He says.

"Hm, I assume this is also why you don't date, right?"

"Excuse me?"

"It's just that I imagine this Daredevil thing takes quite a bit of time, between that and the job that you never take a break from you basically have negative 2 hours of free time both of which you spend with either me or your coworkers. Plus I'm sure this would be one hell of a secret to try and keep from a significant other because it's not like you can tell them on the first date right? You never know who's working with your opps so you need to vet people so having to hide it until you know it's safe, which would probably totally suck." You rattle off your explanation.

"Okay first of all I date." He scoffs.

"You don't. You hook up with people sure but you do not date.  I was honestly starting to think you were some level of aromantic and I guess you still could be and that's totally fine by the way but not having time because you're a part-time vigilante makes sense." You shrug.

"I'm not aromantic and me 'not dating' isn't because of the Daredevil thing."

"Of course it's not." You say.

"You're being sarcastic aren't you?"

"A little, but hey you don't have to explain your lack of romantic life to me. I was just being nosy."

"What about you? You don't date either." Matt crosses his arms.

"I do date actually and the reason you don't know that is because you never ask but if you don't wanna talk about your not dating that's fine." You say.

"I have my reasons."

"I'm sure you do Matty, you're entitled to them. No need to defend yourself to me."

"It's not related to being Daredevil." He says.

"Do you want to tell me about it or no? If so, great let's talk about it, if not I've had a long day and I'm a little tired babes. You can go back out the window I assume you came through or you can use the door-"

"You." He cuts off your last sentence with a single word.

"Excuse me?" You frown at him.

"You are the reason I don't date."

"What did I do?" You blink incredulously.

"Nothing. I have feelings for you so I don't date other people. I'm Daredevil so I don't tell you that I have feelings for you because it's dangerous, because it was a secret I couldn't tell you, because I don't get the girl."

"You don't get the girl? Do you think you're the antihero in a movie? It doesn't work that way Matt. If you liked me the proper course of action is to say something to me don't make it into some big dramatic story arc that's doomed from the start, everything with you is self sabotage mission. Do you really believe yourself that undeserving of good things, of things you want, of happiness?" This isn't the first time Matt has done something in direct conflict of his happiness so you're not surprised, but since the thing in question regards you, you can't help but feel exasperated.

"I-" Matt trails off with a frown that makes his entire face squeeze. "I don't know what you want me to say."

"Why tell me this now? If you 'don't get the girl' if you can't have a relationship because it's 'too dangerous' or whatever silly reason you have for hiding it in the first place. Why are you telling me now?"

"You asked and I'm tired of hiding it I guess."

"Tired of hiding it. You didn't have to hide it."

"I didn't- do you honestly think that if I told you like six months ago, that I'm Daredevil and that Hell's Kitchen's notorious vigilante has feelings for you, do you think you would've reacted well?"

"I like to think I would, yes, but who cares that's not what happened. You told me tonight so, now what?"

"Now what?" He blinks at you.

"You're Daredevil and you have feelings for me so what happens now? Do we- continue as we've been? Do we see where this goes? What do you want now?"

"See where this goes? You'd want that? With me? To see where it goes?" He asks, he looks so lost that you can't help but sigh.

"Yes that's why I asked. Is it so unbelievable that I could also have feelings for you?" You ask softly.

"Well you didn't exactly say that-"

"I'm saying now. So- ask me on a date, or go home."

"Ask you on a date?"

"That's what I said Matthew. For a fancy defense attorney who graduated from Columbia Law, you are lost in an extremely too easy to follow conversation."

"None of this has been easy to follow okay? I never thought I'd get the chance to-" Matt trails off and shakes his head remembering your instructions. "Would you like to go to dinner with me tomorrow night?"

"Yes I would. Eight o'clock. Don't be late." You say with a smile.

"Eight o'clock. I'll be here. See you tomorrow." Matt nods with an adorable grin on his face.

"Goodnight Matthew." You hum.

"Goodnight." He says putting his helmet back on and climbing out your window.

"He could've used the door." You mutter to yourself shaking your head. You still can't totally believe you were right about Daredevil being blind but more shocking is that it wasn't even the biggest reveal you got this evening. Life really does come at you fast.

***

[awkward-tension-art]

Darkness on Umbara Chp.2 (Rex x Reader)

Chapter 1. Chapter 3.

Pong Krell

cw: Rex x Reader, Reader is a medic, incorrect military procedure, graphic descriptions of injuries, blood, swearing, death and battle, Spoilers for the Umbara Arc, Pong Krell is an asshole, reader insert, reader is gender neutral, no use of (Y/N), if i miss a tag LMK

Minors DNI, even if theres no smut

“Don’t worry about me, Doc.” A trooper, Watcher, stood. His arm had been broken and it would need a few rotations to fully heal even with the bacta. 

“It’s my job to worry about you.” You smiled at him, “go on. You're all patched up.”

“Thank you, Doctor.” Watcher saluted respectfully before stepping to the edge of the trench and following it to his position.

Kix sounded from where he finished up with another trooper, “You're too nice to these guys.” 

“Well, I’ve found that my patients respond better to some kindness.” You snarked back, “Which is probably why everyone prefers me as their medic.” 

“Maybe if you-”

Kix’s words were cut off by a howl of agony further down the trench. You heard the cries and calls of different soldiers.

“What is that!?” “Shoot it!” 

Immediately chaos erupted. Someone, Jesse, tackled you to the ground. Just in time, because when you looked up, you noticed a dark, smoking burn on the trunk of a bioluminescent tree where your head had been in front of. 

“Ambush!” Someone shouted out through more blaster shots. 

Out of the corner of your eye there was a clone shaped burst of electric blue. His body collapsed and from it, a glowing six legged creature leapt to the ground and scuttled through the staging area. A couple of soldiers chased, shooting at the nimble thing.

Someone's down. Electricity. Heart could have stopped. Burns definitely. 

You ran forward, skidding to a stop behind a large rock. Two shots nicked the stone, but you remained focused on the downed trooper. After a second you ran forward again, only to jerk back, narrowly avoiding a blaster bolt to the chest. 

Two Umbarans burst from the foggy darkness and ran forward, blasters glowing through the shadows. You dove back behind the boulder, hand steady on your blaster pistol. 

“Get back!” The ground shook slightly as an ARF-trooper slammed the metal foot of his AT-RT in front of your cover. He snarled, firing his laser cannons. The damn Umbarans didn’t stand a chance.

“Thank you!” you shouted up at him before sprinting to the downed trooper. His body was smoking from the heat of the electric bug. you swore, ripping off his plastoid chest piece and beginning compressions. You counted, hitting 30 before checking his pulse.

Nothing. He wasn’t moving. Brain must’ve been fried.

You tried compressions again to the same result.

Name. What was his name? Through the dark you saw a diamond tattoo next to his eye. 

Vim. His name was Vim.

Another one of those fucking blue creatures scuttled over the side of the trench. The bioluminescent creature was focused on you. It screeched and leapt, sharp, crackling claws ready.

You were ready too, pistol aim steady. You pulled the trigger and scorched its tail. It missed your body and hit the ground where Anakin swiped down with his lightsaber. 

“Nice shot.” He greeted you, kneeling down behind the cover of the trench. Rex was, thankfully, next to him.

“What the fuck are these things?!” you asked, keeping your head down. You technically weren’t supposed to be in the thick of battle. Plus, you couldn’t see if Kix managed to protect the medical speeder and its supplies. You had to get back to your original position.

The jedi stood, deflecting glowing blaster shots, “Dunno, but they’re definitely a pest.”

“Call in an airstrike on enemy positions.” The 501st nodded to the general when Anakin knelt again.

“Let's hope they’re not too busy helping Obi-wan!”

Rex, the ever strategic mind, continued, “There's an opening to our south,” He motioned in the proper direction, “I recommend we move all platoons off the ridge in case the airstrike over shoots.”

Get back to the speeder and get the supplies out of here.

You didn’t wait to hear more. General Skywalker usually followed Rex’s recommendation, so that's your cue to get back.

As you weaved through other soldiers, cover and the glowing plant-life, Anakin called out, just as predicted, “Everyone, move out! Now!” 

Thankfully, the speeder was untouched. Nearby, an ARF trooper leaning over the edge of his AT-RT raised a shaky hand to you. He was alive.

You refused to leave him.

“Kix, where are you?” You spoke into your com as you started the speeder and moved closer to the downed transport. A blaster narrowly missed your cheek, but you didn't break your focus. At the moment, the pain was barely a sting.

“Heading south, where the fuck are you?” 

“On my way.” Your hands were on the injured soldier and heaved onto the attached stretcher in a matter of seconds. Revving the medical vehicle, you sped over the edge of the trench and followed the troopers south. 

The terrain was rough. You could barely tell what was on the ground as you drove. Leaning over, you put a stabilizing hand on the injured trooper, speeding over a pretty steep ridge. The transport lurched, but you managed to keep it steady. 

Thankfully, the poor ARF trooper groaned when you got the speeder stable again. 

If he had the energy to make noises, he had the energy to survive.

You noticed Anakin’s blue lightsaber in the distance. Next to him, Rex.

You slowed the speeder down, stopping behind the cover of dark, twisted claw-like plant life. Other soldiers had beat you there, and it seemed like most of the platoons would make it. 

However, you didn’t have time to really process who was around you. Killing the engine of your vehicle, you slipped off to kneel at the injured trooper's side. Even in the lowlight, you assessed what you could. 

Two blaster hits. One through the upper shoulder. Another through the thigh. 

Your eyes roamed the troopers around you. Mentally, you checked off those that you knew. Jesse. Kix. Hardcase. Fives. Rex and Anakin, of course. Seemed you were right and a good majority of the platoons made it.

“Kix, I need you.” you called to him. Tag-teaming these wounds would be the best option.

Wordlessly, he lowered his blaster and got to your side. 

As you worked, you heard the chatter, “All here, sir.” Rex breathed in relief. 

“Stay covered, we have to hold the position!” Anakin barked, keeping his body close to the black trunk of the mangled umbaran tree. 

It was quiet for a moment before Tup spoke, “Are you sure those bombers are coming?” The poor almost-shiny trooper sounded scared, but refused to show it. Jesse nudged him slightly.

There was more thick silence as you focused on treating the ARF trooper. 

Blessedly, in the distance you could hear the approaching drone of the bombers. Briefly, you looked up, recognizing the distinct shape of Y-wings. And usually, wherever they went, precise explosions followed. 

Just as you finished your thought, the world lit up with the burning fires of the bombs. The explosives went off, shaking the ground and illuminating everything around you. Immediately the soldiers cheered as the Umbaran forces were decimated by the air support. 

“Hell yea!” 

“Good ol’ Oddball! Always on target!”

“Take that Umbaran scum!”

You couldn’t help but laugh slightly. It always brightened your mood whenever the clones celebrated. Finding even the smallest amount of happiness did wonders for morale. 

There was another groan and the ARF trooper tried to sit up. He raised an armored hand to his helmet, as if trying to rub his eyes, “Thanks Kix, Thanks doc.” 

“Lay down, you barely just came back to the land of the living.” You gently put a hand on his chest and push him back down, “Get some rest. You need a good rotation or two before you're fit for battle.”

Kix patted your shoulder and stood, shushing you softly. 

You followed his line of sight, seeing General Skywalker and your lover speaking to another jedi. You missed the first part of their conversation, but quickly put the pieces together. 

“Well, I can’t just leave my men!” Anakin practically shouted in frustration. He cared too deeply to leave the 501st to someone else. 

The new arrival, Jedi Master Krell…

Your hackles were raised. You didn’t know the bastard, but you knew his casualty number. You’ve read reports. Too many troops died under his command. Too many good men. His tactics got results, but at the cost of his own soldiers. 

You narrowed your eyes. 

“I’ll be taking over in the interim.” Krell gave a slight bow.

“Don’t worry about a thing, sir,” Rex was facing Anakin, “We’ll have this city under Republic control by the time you’re back.”

The Jedi sighed and nodded, “Master Krell, this is Rex. My first in command." Even from where you were behind him, you knew he looked proud as he practically presented the captain to Krell, “You won’t find a finer and more loyal trooper anywhere.”

“Good to hear that.” The senior jedi patted the younger’s shoulder, “I wish you well, Skywalker.” The farewell was brief and the 501st general walked to the gunship transport. Two other soldiers were going to accompany Anakin, as it lifted to the air. 

You shared a look with Kix and returned to the speeder. Something tells you that everyone will be moving out soon. 

“Your reputation precedes you, General. It is an honor to be serving you.” Rex stepped up next to their new leadership. The clone captain was being respectful, as he always was. Since this isn't the first time the 501st was given a different command, everyone did their best to show respect. It established a good relationship right off the bat, and allowed for better communication for the future. 

“I find it interesting, Captain, that you are able to recognize the value of honor,” Pong Krell’s tone became icy. He turned, keeping his 4 arms clasped behind his back, “For a clone.” 

You paused, and immediately the mood shifted. 

Oh fuck no. it's one of these assholes! You looked over at Fives, his face held the same befuddlement as yours probably did.

“Stand at attention when I address you.” The Besalisk snapped.

The men stiffened and you slipped off the speeder to do the same. 

Krell began to stalk forward, eyes roaming over the battalion, “Your flattery is duly noted but it will not be rewarded.” His gaze was clearly critical as he took in his new force, “There’s a reason my command is so effective, and it's because I do things by the book.” 

At the cost of good men. You nearly snarled. 

“You,” The jedi master stood in front of you, “Are no clone. Name and rank, trooper.” 

You introduced yourself, “I’m the field doctor of the 501st. I tend to the seriously wounded and maintain the medical supplies.”

His eyes narrowed on you, “And why, might I ask, would someone with your…skill set be slumming it with the clone troopers. There are other platoons with non-clones that could use you.”

Your hand twitches, readying to swing. However, you caught Rex shaking his head from behind the General. Instead, you swallowed your anger. 

“Respectfully, General, I am not ‘slumming it.’ my fellow troopers are good, loyal and hardworking men.” you answered him honestly, “I see no difference between them and I.”

Pong Krell let out a condescending laugh, “Well, I suppose it doesn’t matter. As long as you can take orders.” He walked past you, but paused to glare down at the injured ARF trooper, “Have all platoons ready to move out immediately. That is all.” He sneered.

Your new General didn’t look back as the troops prepared to move. You got back on the medical speeder and cast a worried look at your lover. 

Rex sighed and put his helmet on to join Krell at the front.

This…is going to be a long campaign.

[nyx-knacks-writes]

Too Wet

Yeah, I dunno. Hardy has a panic attack and takes a shower. Warning for graphic description of a panic attack (or at least how I experience them) and spoilers for Broadchurch.

Water rushed around DI Hardy’s body as he plunged into the river. There was Pippa, her little body bloated from water and battered from the current and the rocks along the riverbed. There she was. He kicked and fought as the river ran on, dodging sharp rocks and stray logs as best he could, but she just kept going, and going, seeming to get further and further each time he spotted her. He made a desperate lunge, and he tumbled over a waterfall without warning, falling down, down, down, down—!

Alec sat bolt upright in bed, cold sweat trickling down his body. It was freezing in his bedroom, though he knew he’d turned the heat on in the house weeks ago. Waves of what was somehow color and nothing swept across his vision, making it even more impossible to see in the dark room. A hand squeezed at his chest, arresting his breathing, and he tried to call for help, but who would he call? There was no one around to hear him. He reached for his phone on the nightstand to call someone, anyone for help, but his fingers were numb and clumsy, and he only managed to knock the phone onto the floor, where the darkness of the room seemed to swallow it whole.

Another wave of cold rolled over his body, sending him bonelessly slumping into bed and wriggling back under the covers. It didn't help. It didn't help at all. Alec closed his eyes again, and his ears started to go fuzzy. Every sound was dampened, though that was really only the sound of crickets and birds chirping outside, and replaced with what could only be described as ringing with a backdrop of static. He knew what it was at this point, though he'd mistaken it for a heart attack when he'd first woken up. No no no, this was a panic attack. In full force, too. And without anyone to help him, all he could do was ride it out.

It lasted half an hour. Half an hour of sweating and freezing and not being able to see or hear properly. When at last the cold hand of the panic attack released him, Alec melted against his bed like an ice cube on a hot summer day. His breathing slowed, and he counted the seconds it took for his chest to rise and fall. One, two, three, four, chest is risen, hold five six, fall seven eight nine ten repeat. Over and over as the world came back into focus. The sun had fully risen by now, and he was very lucky that it was Sunday and he wasn’t on duty. Alec slowly sat up, rubbing his eyes in hopes of dispelling the blurriness, and forced himself out of bed. He needed a shower to get rid of the cold sweat and make him feel like a person again, rather than a jellied bag of flesh and bones shambling around in a daze.

When he stepped into the hot water of the shower, Alec closed his eyes and simply let it run over him. It wasn’t the river. He wasn’t chasing down Pippa’s body. It was the shower. The hand seemed to squeeze at his chest again, but he pressed his feet into the rough texture of the shower floor and his hands against the smooth tiles of the wall. There was no rough floor in the river. Only rocks. There was no smooth wall. Only the river bank. Alec slowly relaxed under the stream of hot water and took a deep breath. In and out. In and out. Everything was okay.

He slowly opened his eyes again and reached for the shampoo bottle, pressing down the pump twice before beginning to work the suds into his hair. He needed to figure out how to stop these panic attacks. The case was solved, Lisa and Pippa had been avenged. It didn’t bring them back, nothing ever would, but he had done everything he could for them. It was okay. 

So why did it still feel like there was a gaping hole in his heart?

Simple, he thought, moving on to soap up his body. It had torn up his marriage, torn his wife and baby girl away from him. His baby girl who’d been the driving force behind his obsession with the case, his baby girl who he’d never want to come to harm, who he’d want to have a detective behind the scenes doing everything they could to find out who had hurt her should it ever come to pass. 

Maybe it also had something to do with his upcoming trip back to Sandbrook. He knew he needed to go, needed to try to reunite his broken little family if there was any possible chance that they could work, (What was that line from the movie Daisy had liked as a wee one? “It’s little, and broken, but good. Yeah. Still good.” That was the one.) but he was still scared. What would happen if it didn’t work? Where would he go? What would he do?

A tiny voice in the back of his mind whispered that he would come back. Return to Broadchurch, take a permanent position as a DI, live his life in this tiny, sleepy little town and solve whatever other crimes might pop up before he croaked, but he squashed it. He didn’t want to live in this tiny town, where everybody was all smiley and happy and in each other’s business. No no no, that was not the life for him. 

But then… There were things he’d miss, too. Ellie, for one, though he’d never admit it to her. Or to anyone for that matter. He could practically hear her teasing him already, accusing him of not wanting to stop being Uncle Alec to wee Fred. He’d miss the relatively safe walking conditions, and the way that everything was so nearby. Wouldn’t miss the sand, though. Got everywhere, into everything, in places where sand was never meant to be. 

He plucked his towel off of its place on the hook just outside the shower and wrapped himself in it before stepping out, brushing it over his body to soak up the water before it grew cold. This couldn’t go on. It just couldn’t go on…

[thessalian]

Thess vs Companion Approval

Okay ... so ... turns out I was kind of right awhile back when I said, somewhat sarcastically, that it sounded like the Veilguard companions would be less helpful to you in combat if you didn't keep their approval high.

Look, I understand that this sort of worked in DA2. But that was relatively minor. You got a little perk once your friendship or rivalry with someone was high enough. That was nice.

However, if you were Rivalmancing Anders ... he did not refuse to heal you. Which is apparently the case with Veilguard companions - or Neve, anyway. From what I remember about the article, if your companions don't like you, they may do somewhat more damage to enemies, but they will not be as helpful to you and some abilities are locked off.

I mean, I'm the sort of person who wants companions' approval to be as high as possible anyway. But doesn't that feel ... I dunno, restrictive to RP? Like, I could Rivalmance Fenris all day long and see his character progression with a different viewpoint being expressed at him basically all the time, but that RP choice wouldn't lose me access to any of his Lyrium Ghost abilities. I could rivalmance Anders - same deal - and still count on him to heal me if I set up tactics right. But now I'm seeing at least a part of why we basically aren't allowed to set up tactics at all - because there's no guarantee that the ability we want a companion to use will be available because we might piss off that companion.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's better for RP that your companions won't be as helpful to you if they don't like you. But given that it's game over if you die? That seems short-sighted. I much prefer the option of them leaving if they don't like what's going on. Maybe plot doesn't allow for that either, but if I hated someone enough not to fling a bit of healing magic at them in a heated situation, I would rather not be in their immediate vicinity - and likewise if it was advantageous to have that person I dislike around, I would at the very minimum attempt to keep them alive.

I dunno. The more I hear about Veilguard, the more I'm concerned about it. I thought I might be getting it just to Let's Play run it to demonstrate how accessible the accessibility options really make it, but ... I am becoming less than enthused.

On the subject of games I'm Let's Play-ing, I'm making my way so slowly through Silent Hill 2, but I do have vid of my playing the first hour or so of it. I just haven't thrown it on YouTube yet because ... well. Imposter syndrome, mostly. My not being great at the game is kind of the point, but ... well, I am a potato. Also I admit I have been stalling a little because the spoiler-free blurbs I keep hearing are all about "Death a serious possibility even on standard difficulty" and I don't know how "light combat" difficulty goes with that but there have been a couple of encounters that have not been fun for me. Then again, at least one of those was a severely bad pain day. And honestly, however terrifying it is, it's kind of worth it. Terrifying though it be, and stalling as I might be, I am loving the game.

I have a lot of considerations about whether a game is worth it. Because there's a lot of "it" to consider when dealing with a game's worth. There's the price point, with money being so scarce. Am I getting value for that money? Can I actually play it? Will I enjoy playing it? How badly will it frustrate me on all the levels a game can? Those considerations are all weighed on scales already tilted by fibromyalgia, so I can probably come across as picky, but it is in self-preservation. I want to want Veilguard, but it's been raising concerns for me personally since the beginning.

Right. Coffee. I deserve more coffee.

[platoniccereal]

If you could undo any of the retcons in DA, what would you choose and why?

the inquisition.

i mean, this is a short answer, but as time goes by, i understand that this is an honest one. this is a tangent, but i guess dai is just an example of electronic arts' production hell if bioware planned the second game only as a bridge for the inquisition's main conflict, and then we get this regarding the mage uprising. like, it's reasonable to assume that since da2 was supposed to be a preamble, the dai's initial main focus was the mage rebellion? and then it's just one main quest in the beginning of the game, and that's it.

but this is not about retcons, it's just me being annoyed. it's just the dai is the most fruitful regarding the topic.

hawke suddenly hating on blood magic. they tried so hard to push it with leandra's death, and then just decided to take the matter in their own hands, ig.

whatever the fuck hawke and varric say about anders. this is not their point of view, at least not in every case, in da2??

whatever the fuck they did to dalish.

like, vallaslin? i guess it's cool if you get inspired by real-world peoples, and then decide to make vallaslin slave marks.

or make their gods powerful slavers Just Like The Nations that inflicted the genocide on them. nothing about andrastianism, tho.

dalish actually kick out the mages is the obvious one.

the point of view on the red crossing. same reason. i count it as a retcon because of the implications that elves actually did that (i.e. the exalted march) to themselves.

also iirc they changed relationships between dalish and city elves/ made it worse to shit on elves again. stop that wtf!! they won't, ofc.

i dunno if it's a retcon or just conscious disinformation, but the presentation of celene and briala in-game. no spoilers, but did they suddenly decide that celene actually didn't do anything she did in the masked empire?

whitewashing of alistair, fiona and briala. they don't look like that, you fuckers???

make these cullen endgame sliders canon again and work from here, cowards. i actually got them in my playthrough even tho they deleted them, afaik. (the ones where he snaps and kills three mages.)

actually, the whole cullen arc. i won't say anything new here, his story was supposed to end in dao, da2 at most.

and i think there are other sliders from dao they retconned and put aside, like with the circle that mages built near orzammar? do it, cowards! it would make such a good plot point in a normal version of dai where your focus is the mage rebellion.

the ending of dragon age absolution. i'm sorry, did anyone find it satisfying? did anyone go, like, hell yeah finally? or i knew that!

the wardens. of course they're suddenly all that stupid to fall for cory's lap dog's lies and shenanigans!

i dunno if the last one counts as a retcon, but it surely falls into the same line of crimes against the previous lore. suddenly bioware felt an urge to shit on every group da:o players held dear. because grey morality. but, you know, even without "i like diversity and opportunity to be a dick, i don't appreciate when the game tries to push an agenda in defense of the oppressors and you can't fucking escape it", sooner or later one should understand that trying to mix grey with every colour in the picture will lead only to it looking dirty and messy. ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

thank you for your question! :)

[desultory-novice]

hi dess, I was thinking about drawcia and her siaters last night and was curious if you ever thought about a connection between her and adeleine and noir. because of the... art theme, and because her sorceress form has some glaring similarities to dark matter blade. and/or perhaps some relation to the painter and mysterious brush mentioned in paintra/DX's boss descriptions? the subject of 2 siblings being separated is something adeleine/noir and paintra/drawcia seem to have in common

Oooh, D00p... >w< 

I hate to say that while I've been passively aware of some of the visual similarities/glaring connections between Drawcia and Dark Matter Blade, I have never really thought hard of doing anything with it/come up with anything particularly HC-y for them. Kinda goes for Drawcia and Nightmare too, who also share some concepts.

(There's just too much Dark Matter in Kirby! Keeping them all straight yet connected in a way that makes sense is difficult, darn it! No wonder Shimazaki left! "Figure the rest out for yourselves!" XD) (1)

I do know that, for Apologies, it's canon that Noir and Adeleine's family are 'people upon whom the rest of the planet does not look too fondly on.' That is why, while it would already be hard for two kids to survive there, it has been especially hard in their case...

:Dess still in deep consideration whether she wants to finish drawing the content warning-required Noir backstory chapter or not, even though it keeps poking its head into other stories:

Ahem! But I do remember thinking that if the Dark Matter Blade is Lab Discovera's first cursed af attempt at trying to make or recreate, I dunno, Galaxia maybe(?) That Ado's Paintbrush is probably the same for the Magic Paintbrush in Canvas Curse.

So, they are tied into the lore of this somehow... And you're right that their story echos the separated siblings. In fact, I was talking with thecrashman a little about some Apologies spoilers related to the above mentioned sidestory and witches made of paint did dance through my head for a second... but I still don't have anything concrete as to how the four (five, counting Vividria) are related.

-

(1)

Speaking of, I saw someone post that another Japanese guidebook supposedly made it "clear" that the Dark Matter you fight in DL 3 is the same as Blade which made me gulp because in Apologies, I wasn't necessarily going to make the Dark Matter in 3 the same as Noir and I was pre~tty sure the Japanese wiki backed me up on the possibility that they were, or at least, could be different!

...God, making Blade be the same Dark Matter that's in both 2 and 3 in Apologies-verse would have even ME crying and screaming?!?

It was bad enough that he's just a shadow of himself in 2. Flickering whispers of fading memories fighting a losing battle against the all encroaching darkness, but now, in Dream Land 3, he's LITERALLY a thrice-dead soulless husk?! Made to repeat the same task he failed at before by a heartless tyrant who only demands of the boy:

"Again." How...many...more...times...? "Again until you succeed."

Noir was gentle enough to keep Dedede asleep the whole time he was possessing him. Noir only captured Kirby's friends, not hurt them, mildly inconveniencing Kirby. But Zero? Zero resurrects his dead pawn, rips open Dedede's stomach and shoves Blade inside the king like he was a prison made of flesh within which Blade can only gnash his "teeth" (...rattle the bars...) and shed tears of darkness...

Zero then parades him out before Blade's own BABY BROTHER as a meat shield and an "example" - to fill both Gooey and Kirby with despair and hopelessness at the inevitability of that which they face.

"...You thought you had ended this one's suffering?" "This is the fate of all who defy EYE."

What is this True Arena Noir Soul I have accidentally invented?

[sadistic-kiss]

VERY LONG COMMENT!

Appreciation Comment + comment on the chapter ( basically me rambling for a very long time) ♡

The way I dropped everything I was doing the second, I saw the notification for House of Alpha chapter 14. (≧ヘ≦　)

I remember finding the series when there were only 3 chapters out, and I've never been more grateful to have found it! I absolutely adore the series (and all of your other work too! I found you through Bloody Summer on AO3~) (σ≧▽≦)σ

I love your ideas, your style of writing, the plot, the cringe, and 2nd hand embarrassment I get when reading. I adore you! Did I say how much I adore you? Well I absolutely adore you! ( ≧∀≦)ノ

ANYWAYS, enough rambling about how much I adore you and your work, LET'S TALK ABOUT CHPATER 14!!

When the explosion went off and I started freaking out along with Raven... I was about to fight whoever was going to hurt my babies (the alphas are everything but babies but they're my babies!) (ノ｀Д´)ノ彡┻━┻

Then, when I read that Nanami was injured and was bleeding, I was about to throw hands at the monster! Luckily (but still unlucky), it was just the poison... I need Nanami to be healthy again!! =(っ*´□`)っ

And then Satoru.

I'm biased since Satoru is my favorite, BUT THE WAY, MY HEART BROKE WHEN HE THOUGHT WE HATED HIM!!! I was screaming and crying no and how much I loved him. I need to hug my baby and smother him in my love. ｡･(つд`｡)･｡

AND THEN THE ENDING OF THE CHAPTER! Had me screaming from the kiss, and now I'm so excited for the next chapter! Time is moving too slow for me, I want to know what happens next, and I absolutely can't wait! (Take your time. This is just me being annoying–) 。。(〃_ _)σ∥

I seriously can't believe this story came to you in a dream. Why can't it happen to me too!? I seriously can't imagine it. If the story came to me in a dream, I would have been so upset when I woke up! Like, let me go back to dreaming where I can have hot guys in my personal space! (´□`; 三 ;´□`)

OK, LAST COMMENT I PROMISE!

This is actually my first time ever commenting despite reading and liking everything from you, so I'm just going to say, FROM NOW ON, I will leave a comment (on tumblr) on everything! If I don't, come and scold me because I need to smother you in affection for creating these masterpieces!! No, seriously, please remind me if I ever forget to smother you in affection because you absolutely deserve it! I'm counting on you to remind me if I forget to comment!

ﾟ+.ヽ(≧▽≦)ﾉ.+ﾟ

PS: Did I tell you how much I love you and your work?

PPS: You actually were one of the 2/3 writers who inspired me to start writing! Although it's still a work in progress because it's easier to imagine than write and because I'm procrastinating–

PPPS: I LOVE YOU FOR EXISTING AND CREATING THESE MASTERPIECES. I'M DETERMINED TO SMOTHER YOU IN AFFECTION!!!!

*Squeals and cry at the same time*

I like to type my response while reading a long comment but I’m already giggling and smiling like a damn idiot 🥹

I’m so glad you found me~ bloody summer was such a long time ago oh wow 😂. I have changed so much since my friend and I started that one. Sometimes I read it and hiss a bit, it is quite dark. I might rewrite it in my style? (Is that a writing style? I dunno I’m kind of new to this lol.) I was once a sadistic bean but I am now turned into a mushy chef 👩‍🍳(I swear I blame gege it’s his fault and I will raise my fist to the sky till the day I rest). Maybe I should change my name to chef’s kisses XD.

*giggles and kicks my feet some more* I swear i can’t stop smiling while reading this my cheeks hurt 😭.

Ooo~ just in case someone didn’t read chapter 14 yet I’ll put a spoiler warning hehe 🤭

⚠️House of alpha Chapter 14 Spoiler warning engage ⚠️

Yes 🥺, they are our psycho little pack but we must take care of them because they are silly and stupid at times.

I know our poor Nanami baby 😭🖤 (we are doing our best)

I’m bias about all the characters, my daddies can do nothing wrong XD. Gojo feeling sad because he’s feeling left out makes me do tha aaaahh~ poor bebe~

House of alpha is one of those stories where I’m writing a chapter and have to stop myself because I’m writing into the next chapter. I had planned to make chapter 14 longer but it was already peaking 4k and you know Gojo is going to want more from that kiss because he’s greedy 👀~. I also had fell asleep like right after I posted hahah. I was so mad when my work didn’t save I stayed up all night to finish it so don’t worry I’ll try to get that next chapter to you ASAP~ I do have two children that are not yet out the house (Looks at Desert Rose and House of Alpha stories) I must love them both equally so the next post will be for Desert Rose ~ don’t worry she’s almost old enough lol (not me treating my stories like kids XD) 🖤

Oh! Yes! I have very interesting dreams. I have so many ideas that I have to close off because I need to finish the stories I have lol. I like to focus on one or two stories at a time.

So~ I don’t think I can tell you how fucking hilarious it was when i ran away in my dream from the omega house. In my dream I actually was on the boat getting ready to sail. I was leaning on the side looking out at the beautiful ocean while taking a deep sigh. Like damn those were some hot ass alphas, I’ll never get that experience but oh well~ The captain sounded the bell for us to go but then stopped mid ring. that’s when two men stepped up beside me. Sukuna was snacking on fingers (he was a lot more gruesome in my dream. Like he actually killed miwa in my dream because he got pissy of the food she served him so I made sure to save her in the actual story and made that part part of the game story if that makes sense) while Toji just leaned on the side to admire the view with me. And Toji was like nice view Huh? And sukuna was like yeah imma stop you right here I don’t like boats get the fuck off And I looked at them like WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?! And toji was like oh we were just seeing where you were going but let’s stop it here prime omega. And the complete shock I felt when they told me they chose me sent me flying over board as I swam away and ran because I just can’t accept nice things XD. yeah hehe my dream was more of the smutty bits and plots lol I don’t want to spoil it 🤭.

But when I woke up I was left in awe. It was like i watched a really good movie but I can’t tell anyone to watch it because it doesn’t exist so I gotta retell the story like tenacious D singing their tribute to the greatest song in the world but it was the greatest reverse harem issekai in the world 🤣🖤. I was like the people must know of this story !

Omg! 😭 this comment was already worth a thousand comments hahah! And I love to spoil so please don’t feel obligated, it just makes me so happy to even read this 🖤. I waited till the morning to read it since I was super tired when I finished chapter 14 I wanted to make sure I could really indulge in your comment. I saw it before bed and couldn’t stop smiling because I wanted to read it this morning lol. I feel like I just drank a cup of coffee and I’m so excited to start my morning so thank you, this meant a lot to me. You could have literally put I love you and I would have been grinning all day 🖤🤭.

Oh! I love love love when others are inspired to write so please if you need help let me know! I write stories I want to read 😭😭😭! I have bookmarks of fanfics that haven’t been updated since last year, I am desperate for more fanfics haha!

Oh wow I typed so much I am so sorry sometimes when I get excited I can’t stop typing XD

P.S: I love YOU and will do my best to spoil you with more to eat. I love to feed and please👩‍🍳🖤

[jazlynriddle]

Welcome to your life - Pt 1:

Everybody Wants To Rule THEIR World Ch 3:

Summary:

"You need only close your eyes to it and be happy and safe with us."

The Keeper (player) has already secured the repository and Sebastian's loyalty, emboldening his descent into darkness. Now, they just need to win over Ominis, cure Anne, and create a domain to call their own.

And not necessarily in that order.

The Keeper's tale, a post-game story of a morally-grey, pragmatic, Chaotic Neutral, non-binary, muggleborn, orphan player character, so burned by 1800s orphanages, that they became a power hoarder who demands more payment for quests, burns paintings but doesn't want to rule the world, just their own territory and the two boys who'd caught their eye.

Warnings: Sebastian x MC x Ominis! Spoilers! Dark content! Slow-burn canon-compilant corruption! Fucked up 1800s orphanages! MC has no love for Anne or Solomon! Dubious happy ending (it's happy for MC, Seb and Ominis at least), Emotional Manipulation

You can also read on AO3! (chapter specific warnings below)

Notes:

Warnings: Emotional Manipulation

Though, does it count as emotional manipulation when the person doing the manipulating really believes what they're saying? I dunno, Imma just tag it with that warning in case xD

I honestly debated writing this fic in 'you' perspective but decided that I like the gender neutrality of the player character's voice acting too much (and I'm not sure readers would be able to sit in the Keeper's shoes very comfortably with the way I'm writing them).

Like, it's just firmly cemented in my brain that player character is non-binary because of the they/them pronouns in the game and the fantastically gender neutral voice acting. 10/10

The next evening, after dinner, Sebastian and the Keeper invited Ominis to the Undercroft to explain the Repository. As expected, Ominis took the news rather well.

"So, you're telling me that this whole time, you and Sebastian have been fighting a bloody goblin rebellion, and Rookwood's Ashwinders, who wanted a Repository of ancient pain-magic that you inherited along with your Ancient Magic abilities and a duty to guard said Repository. Oh, and now you're hiding this Repository in our Undercroft!?"

Well, 'well' is a relative term.

Sebastian waved a hand dismissively. "It's fine Ominis, no one else knows about the Undercroft, so much so that Isidora left her pensive and her portrait here."

Ominis groaned, rubbing his forehead as though to stave off a headache. "You're sure no one else knows about the Repository either."

"I am." The Keeper nodded confidently despite knowing that Ominis couldn't see it. Emoting physically had more impact on one's tone than many people realised.

Ominis sighed, shaking his head wearily. "Fine, I suppose if no one knows of it or that it's here, we needn't be overly concerned."

"I can't believe this whole time, it was Rookwood who took Anne from us." Ominis voice was tired and worn.

"I'm only sorry that I couldn't afford to make his death more painful." The Keeper grimaced, they'd managed to hit Rookwood with the cruciatus a few times, but the sheer quantity of Ashwinders had made it too chaotic and dangerous to torture him at their leisure.

Ominis shook his head with a small smile. "It is enough to know that he's dead. Thank you, for exacting our vengeance upon him, we are in your debt."

The Keeper smiled, pleased that Ominis understood, perhaps it wouldn't be too difficult to convince him to see the reason in their plan.

"Now, what was the other thing you wanted to tell me?" Ominis asked, taking a breath as though to brace himself.

Glancing at Sebastian, the Keeper took a deep breath as well, this wasn't going to be easy. "I have a way we might be able to save Anne without using Dark Magic."

Ominis eyes widened, before he frowned. "Your Ancient Magic? But didn't you say that Isidora's method didn't work?"

The Keeper nodded. "I believe I know what she did wrong. That said, it'll take time, research and practice to find a way to circumvent her failure."

Ominis' eyes narrowed further. "Practice. Who exactly would you be practising on?"

The Keeper grimaced, they had an immense appreciation for Ominis' sharp mind, but it certainly made it difficult to keep things vague for him. He really should decide if he wanted to be informed for decision making or just stay uninformed and thus not have to carry any responsibility.

"There's certainly no shortage of humans who don't deserve life, like Rookwood." The Keeper shrugged nonchalantly. "Letting their meaningless existence of cruelty serve the higher purpose of medical research would be no loss to wizardkind."

"Merlin-" Ominis groaned, burying his face in his hands.

The Keeper entreated. "Ominis, surely you understand, we would be doing society a favour by stopping them and if I perfect this abilit-"

"I do understand that, but this is human experimentation we're talking about, it's beyond unethical!" Ominis exclaimed incredulously.

"No, what's unethical is letting Anne leave Feldcroft to live alone! Unethical is letting my twin die in pain, all to spare some bloody wankers the chance to literally become heartless!" Sebastian spat angrily.

Ominis flinched. "You cannot blame me for that! She didn't tell me what she'd written in the letter nor that she was going to leave."

"I know, I'm not blaming you for letting her leave." Sebastian shook his head, throwing his hands into the air in frustration. "But look, we're already doing this without Dark Magic as you wanted, and now you want us to do this without any cost at all? Merlin. Ask for the bloody moon next, why don't you."

Ominis turned away, clearly hurt and uncertain, while Sebastian did the same, frustration seeping from his profile. The Keeper sighed, this was going nowhere, and it pained them to see their boys so upset.

"Settle down both of you. Ominis, I understand your feelings, but Sebastian and I would be happier to have you on board. The sanctuary I plan to create, is one we'd like to share with you." The Keeper spoke gently, placing a hand lightly on Ominis' shoulder.

Ominis however, shifted away. "A sanctuary… for whom? I doubt your victims will call it that."

"For Anne." Sebastian countered, folding his arms. "She's the true victim here."

Ominis flinched again. "She would never agree to this."

"I'll do whatever it takes to keep her alive. Solomon may have convinced her to be ready to throw her life away, but I won't let her." Sebastian shook his head. "Don't you remember what she used to be like? Brave, bold, a fighter. It's only after she spent so long alone with Solomon that she started to give up."

"What are you suggesting? That he brainwashed her?" Ominis shook his head incredulously.

"That's exactly what we're suggesting." The Keeper replied instead. "You know how easy it is to convince someone that there's no way out, when all they have is you."

Ominis paled at the reminder of his childhood, the hopelessness he’d felt for years as part of the Gaunt household. Swallowing, he took a step back, wrapping his arms around himself, and shrinking away from the memories.

Unwilling to allow him to flee inwards and throw his walls up yet again, the Keeper took a step forward and drew Ominis into their arms from behind, feeling him jolt in surprise.

The Keeper glanced up, spotting Sebastian hovering indecisively, and glared at him for a moment, before Sebastian sighed and approached them. He brushed a hand over Ominis' hair, guiding his best friend's head forward to rest on his shoulder, and joining the embrace.

For a moment, Ominis seemed to be at a loss, unsure of how to respond to suddenly finding himself wrapped in the arms of both his oldest and newest friend. He stood stiffly for several long seconds, listening to the sound of their breathing while Sebastian's fingers stroked his hair soothingly.

Leaning forward, the Keeper murmured into Ominis' ear, feeling him shiver as they took the chance to lightly nuzzle against the back of his neck. "We can cure her, and we'll do it without Dark Magic, just as you desire. And I swear to you Ominis, that we won't harm any innocents, you have our word."

A few minutes of silence passed, the tension slowly bleeding from Ominis' frame as he gradually calmed in the comforting warmth of their embrace, his body relaxing and his hands fisting in Sebastian's robes.

"...you swear?" Ominis' voice was small and wavering, torn between hope and uncertainty.

Sebastian nodded. "We swear, we'll find Anne, and we'll convince her that it's safer to stay with us."

Ominis took a deep breath, squeezing his eyes shut, pressing his face against Sebastian’s collar, and tightening his grip on his best friend's robes.

"...alright. Just don't-" Ominis cut himself off, unable to continue his sentence.

The Keeper exchanged a grin with Sebastian over Ominis' shoulder, feeling a surge of triumph as they replied. "Of course, we won't endanger ourselves and we won't involve you in the testing. You need only close your eyes to it and be happy and safe with us."

"How do you know?" Sebastian asked, sitting down beside the Keeper at a couch in the common room. The room almost empty save for some first years, still camping by a window facing the Black Lake, despite the late hour.

"Know what?" The Keeper asked in return, sipping casually from a cup of tea.

"How do you always know what he needs to hear?" Sebastian clarified, not needing to speak Ominis' name for the Keeper to know who he was referring to. "I've known him for years and I still can't convince him the way you do. It's almost like you're reading his mind. I have to say, I'm rather envious."

The Keeper gazed contemplatively at the steam rising from their cup. "There are many like him, where I'm from. Other kids who cower from reality by closing their eyes. Telling themselves that they can't change anything, so they don't even need to try."

They took a sip. "Don't get me wrong, I mean no disrespect to them or Ominis, it's not their fault that life had beaten the fight out of them long before they were old enough to give a damn about anything."

The Keeper set the empty cup down on the table before them. "Though, as you're no doubt wondering, Ominis is indeed different. It's that difference that makes him admirable."

Sebastian tipped his head curiously to the side and they elaborated. "Most kids like him give up on wanting anything, no desires, no attachments, no responsibility, no commitment, just the need to be as unnoticeable as possible, follow the crowd, blend in and avoid as much pain as they can. They walk around with dead fisheyes."

"Ominis’ difference is you, Sebastian." The Keeper smiled at the incredulity on their friend's face. "Despite everything he's suffered, Ominis has attached himself to you. Taking up responsibility for you and committing himself to you, the way you have to Anne. He would fight for you without hesitation, even against his own beliefs."

Sebastian's ears were growing increasingly red with every word, all the while shifting uncomfortably. The Keeper chuckled. "Surely you are aware of this, after he got Anne to not turn you in, despite his own moral compass telling him to."

"I- well, yes. I do know that…" Sebastian sighed, gazing pensively off in the distance. "I owe him a lot and I can't imagine life without him."

"Then we want the same thing." The Keeper smiled.

Sebastian's head swivelled to stare at them so fast, they were surprised he didn't break his neck. The Keeper laughed and elaborated. "To have him with us."

"A- ah, yes, I suppose we do." Sebastian cleared his throat, looking away awkwardly.

The Keeper watched him fondly, it never ceased to amuse them, how Sebastian could be so confident, such a fearless, vindictive, and savage fighter, yet be so hopelessly bad at expressing and understanding his own emotions.

Taking pity on the boy, the Keeper picked up their cup, casting a quick scourgify on it before filling it from the teapot and offering it to Sebastian. He accepted it with a grateful nod, taking a sip and allowing the warmth to settle his nerves.

The two of them sat in silence for a moment, enjoying the peaceful atmosphere.

Sebastian sighed, setting his cup down, and leaning back against the couch. "I never thought my life would be this crazy. I always thought it'd be Anne, Ominis and I forever. Instead, Anne's off somewhere dying, while you and I drag Ominis with us on an Ancient Magic quest to save her. Feels like something out of a storybook."

The Keeper shifted their weight, allowing themselves to lean against Sebastian's side, resting their head against his shoulder. They felt him jump ever so slightly but he neither pushed them away nor shifted, so they relaxed against him comfortably.

"Would you rather things return to the way they were?" They asked instead.

Sebastian was silent for a long moment, and they allowed him time to think, closing their eyes and enjoying his warmth against their side.

"No." He finally spoke, huffing lightly in disbelief. "I still want to save Anne, she's the only family I have left. I promised her I would find a way to cure her, and I always keep my word."

Sebastian tipped his head back, his voice sad. "But… I have to admit, Anne and I have become very different people. We've grown apart over the years, we couldn't go back even if we tried. And… I wouldn't want to have never become friends with you."

A few more moments passed in silence, before the Keeper responded. "I can't say I understand what it means to be family, to have family. But if I had to imagine it, the closest I can imagine are you and Ominis… and Fig."

"I see…" Sebastian's voice was sympathetic as he hesitantly reached his hand over theirs, fingers barely grazing the back of their hand, hovering as though waiting for them to flinch away.

Instead, the Keeper turned their hand over, opening their palm in invitation. Their heart thrummed in their ears as they waited.

The Keeper could feel Sebastian sigh as he placed his hand in theirs, entwining their fingers together and leaving their clasped hands resting on the Keeper's knee.

"You and Ominis are everything to me too." Sebastian's words were so quiet they barely caught them, but those simple words brought an incredible wave of peace and contentment with them. One the Keeper had never experienced before.

"We'll always be together, the three of us. I won't let anything tear us apart." The Keeper murmured sleepily.

Sebastian gazed down at them, his eyes searching, and they wondered what he was thinking as he answered their vow with his own. "Neither will I."

Notes:

Yes, Ominis doesn't need to close his eyes, but the Keeper meant that metaphorically!

And while I don't actually think Anne was brainwashed by Solomon, I do find it unsettling how sure that she couldn't be cured she and her uncle seemed. Like bruh, medical science is constantly improving, just because there isn't a cure right now doesn't mean there won't be.

I also feel like for most of the game, Sebastian puts past!Anne on a pedestal, unwilling to accept that nothing can return her to the way she was before and that really was the biggest problem, my previous fic for HL explored the healthier direction his character can grow in with regards to Anne, this one will explore the... darker direction it can go.

Same for Ominis really, he has serious problems with making decisions and taking responsibility for them and this fic will explore this aspect of him, and a possible direction his growth can take, quite thoroughly x3

[kimmimaru]

I don't know if this counts as a spoiler? But will put it under a cut anyway just in case. Its about Cloud in Rebirth.

Honestly they did such a good job of making Cloud's mental state fucked up. There are hints of it in the Remake but in Rebirth its very frequent. I'm talking about the times Cloud acts like a child. I can think of one instance in Remake, when he thinks the man in the black robes was Sephiroth and he pins him to the ground, his voice gets higher and he PANICS. In Rebirth it gets worse. When he brings Sephiroth the key to the black materia, his voice changes again to that of a kid. Its the same tone of voice my child uses when she brings me a cool rock she found. And honestly? That is so fucking disturbing. I can't get it out of my head. And now its slightly worse because he has a similar sort of tone when speaking to Aerith's ghost. The man is well and truly broken and he doesn't even know it. Its so apporpriate but god, I can't stop thinking about it, it makes me ill. It is fiction and there's not a lot of stuff that really gets to me in fiction, but this? Its awful. I spent the entire time playing those scenes with a tight knot in my stomach and its just so damn good. I was very impressed. Cloud does the same thing when he finally gets to reuinite with Zack, his voice gets infinately softer and more child-like. And again, this is apporpriate since he was unconcious for at least five years of his life, he never actually grew up mentally. Inside he's still fifteen/sixteen years old and in the OG its difficult to really get that across, but they did it perfectly in Rebirth. I don't know if its affecting me worse now because I am a parent myself, so it didn't really affect me the same when I played the OG (I was a kid myself so I missed a lot of the nuance I suppose, not to mention the technological restrictions on the PS1) or if its just that it has voice acting now so its a bit more obvious, I dunno. Its not just Cloud either. Like, even Tseng was a teenager and working as a Turk. Shinra put guns in the hands of children and its just sort of glossed over, I don't really see it mentioned much in fanfic and stuff. Yuffie: sixteen years old and trying to assasinate Rufus. Zack: Seventeen and sent into a war to kill people. Sephiroth: a living weapon from birth. The only character to ever even mention this is Reeve in one of the Novellas when he's speaking to Denzel. The WRO won't recruit children because of what Shinra did. I suppose because its so normalised in their world that no one else would even blink at it, but Reeve does and I like him for it lol. Basically, it makes sense that the characters themselves don't think about it, since its normal for them but I think it makes for interesting plots in fanfic. I've put it in a few times with the Turks and stuff. Anyways, sorry for rambling, my point is is that Rebirth does a great job of really driving home the fact that Cloud is still a kid inside. A teenager with a big sword and a broken mind.

[silver138]

Perfectly Flawed - Chapter 4

word count - 3.4k

warnings - cursing, discussion of alcohol, a few spoilers for The Dresden Files series of books

Summary: Lina learns more about Spencer and tries to convince him to join the team for a night out.

"...And that's how you fill out the reports. Do you have any questions, Lina?" Penelope finishes.

I open my mouth, stop and close it, then start. "Erm, not about the work, no."

With a wry smile on her face, Penelope hands me a few of the folders and says, "Ask and ye shall receive, my dear."

I clear my throat and shyly ask, "Um, I-I get the feeling there's more to Doctor Reid than what can be seen on the surface. What's his story? He doesn't look much older than me, how..."

Penelope nods and says, "I know what you're asking. What all did you want to know about him?"

I chew my lip nervously and say, "I-I dunno, just, like, the basic stuff? Stuff you guys already know? I get the feeling he doesn't really like to talk about himself, so, like, that stuff? Like, am I allowed to ask, or..."

"Ah, our dear Doctor Reid. Well, he's 24, he graduated from Las Vegas High School at the age of 12, and he holds Ph. D.s in Mathematics, Chemistry, and Engineering, and B.A.s in Psychology and Sociology."

My jaw drops open, and I sputter out, "He did all of that in 12 years?! How did he find time to sleep? Actually, now I can believe he can read as fast as he says because there's no way he could do all of that in 12 years otherwise..."

Penelope smiles at me and says, "Yep, our boy's a certified genius. And he's really sweet, and I'm sure if you're patient and gentle with him, you'll be able to get to know him well."

I smile back and say, "I hope so. I think we could get along really well."

As I go and sit down to start transcribing the folders she gave me into the database, I say, "Oh, also, it's ok that I have lunch with him, right? Like, there's no time issues? When he first told me how fast he reads, I didn't believe him and asked if I would be able to see if he could actually read as fast as he said he could. So, I offered to buy him lunch in exchange for seeing this feat of intellect."

She raises her eyebrows and says, "Yeah, that's doable, but you're probably going to be bored watching."

I laugh and say, "Y'know, that's what he said? But I'm also going to ask him questions about the plot of the books I brought, to see if he really does remember everything he reads. For science, I said."

She smiles and says, "Yeah, that sounds like something he'd agree to, then. That'll be fine, I'm sure we'll be able to knock a few of these cases out before then."

I hold up my hand and cross my fingers while saying, "Here's hoping. Hey, is it ok if I listen to some music while I do that? It helps me focus, and I have headphones. I promise not to have it too loud, as well..."

Penelope waves her hand at me and says, "Go for it, if I need you, I'll tap on your shoulder, ok?"

Smiling, I pull out my MP3 player and headphones and say, "Thanks, Penny. I should be able to do this a little faster, then."

Once I finished with the folders she had given me, I turned to Penelope to ask if there were any more for me to do. "You weren't kidding when you said it helps you. Here, take these 2, I'll let you know when you can take your lunch and conduct your 'experiments'." She says with a smile that I return. I'm halfway through the second one when I feel a tap on my shoulder. "Hey, go take your lunch. And stretch a little, you've been hunched over for hours. Gotta get rid of that 'shrimp' look." Penny says playfully.

"Huh? Oh, right, all curled up, I gotcha." I reply with a laugh. Saving what I have filled out, then turning off my music and placing it and my headphones on the desk, I stretch to work out the kink I've developed in my neck. Grabbing my purse, I see it's about 5 til 12, and I slowly make my way to Spencer's desk. "Hey, Doc- Spencer. Did you still want to go to lunch, or..." I say timidly. He turns and looks at me, grabbing his bag as he stands up.

"Y-yeah, if you still wanted to..." he stammers slightly as we start walking to the cafeteria.

I chirp out "Yup! Are the books in your bag?"

He nods and starts, "You know, y-you don't have to buy me lunch, Lina..."

"I don't mind. To be honest, I was kind of afraid I wouldn't be able to make any friends when I came here. I mean, I get along with a lot of people, but they don't really seem to like to spend any more time than they have to with me." I say.

Spencer furrows his eyebrows and asks, "Well, why not? You seem to be nice, you're friendly."

I shrug and say, "Yeah, but I don't really follow the same stuff other people do. I 'don't go out enough', I 'read too much' and I'm 'interested in too much nerd' um, stuff, as my roommate says."

He gives a tight-lipped smile and says, "Oh, I know how that is. Morgan and Garcia are constantly trying to get me to go with them when the team goes out for drinks. I'd rather just stay at home and read or watch movies."

I chuckle and say, "Yeah. And the times when I do head out, Val is constantly trying to get me to drink. 'How can you have any fun if you don't loosen up and drink?'" He gives me a momentary blank look before I explain, "My roommate's name is Val." Spencer hums in acknowledgment.

As we get our lunches, I ask, "What kind of movies do you like to watch?"

"Um, mostly foreign films, but I also like horror movies," he replies. I pay for our food, and we go sit down at an empty table. "What about you?" he asks, setting his bag down to get the books out and placing them on the table.

"I'll watch pretty much anything, really, but I seem to gravitate towards sci-fi, fantasy, and comedy. I haven't seen any of the newer horror movies, but I have seen all of the old Universal ones. You know, Dracula, Wolfman, Frankenstein." I say.

I gesture to the books and say, "You can go ahead and read, I'll stop talking now." His hand hovers over the first book and he looks at me, unsure. "Seriously. Besides, we can talk about the books after you're done, I've been dying to talk to someone about them." He gives me a small smile and opens the first book. I eat my lunch as I watch him read, his fingers running down the pages, turning them every few seconds. Holy shit, dude wasn't lying, I think to myself. I glance up at his face as he reads, an intense look on it. He even looks cute while reading. Hmm, can't say that's a thought that I would have had before today...

I'm a little over halfway through my lunch when he closes the first book, sets it aside, and starts eating his lunch. I clear my throat and ask him, "OK if I ask you a few questions before you start the next one?" He nods as slowly takes a bite from his sandwich. "What is the main character's full name?" I ask.

He smirks and says, "Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden."

Grinning, I continue. "What is the significance of the skull?"

"It houses a spirit of intellect that goes by the name of Bob."

"And who does Dresden help with the case?" I ask.

"Karrin Murphy, who is an officer for the Chicago Police Department. She works in a division called Special Investigations, or SI, which handles cases if something unexplainable or supernatural is involved." he finishes.

Giving him a big smile, I say, "Holy hell, you were right. That is seriously impressive!" He smiles back at me as he slides the first book back to me. As we finish eating, I put the first book into my purse and grab the one I'm on to start reading, as he starts reading the second.

After I read another 3 chapters, he closes the book he's reading and slides it back to me, waiting for more questions. I put my bookmark in place, put the books in my purse, and ask, "OK, what being or beings is this one mostly about?"

He chuckles and says, "Werewolves, but I mean, with a title like 'Fool Moon', what else would it be?"

I laugh and say, "OK, I'll give you that one. What types of werewolves are mentioned?"

"Classic werewolves, lycanthropes, loup-garou, and hexenwolves," he replies.

"OK, final question: Who or what is Mister?" I ask.

"That's his cat." he finishes.

"So, what did you think of them?" I ask.

"A little slow to start, but it picked up in the second. I like it so far." Spencer says.

Gathering our trays, I say to him, "You know what this means, right?"

Puzzled, Spencer says, "N-no, what?"

Giant grin on my face, I tell him, "That means I've got more books for you to read!"

He laughs at this, then says, "I'm up for it if you are."

"Oh, absolutely! I haven't been able to talk to people about books since I lived with my parents! Well, not in person, at least. The internet's great, but sometimes, you just can't beat an in-person conversation, you know?" I tell him.

"I-y-yeah, I can understand that..." he says softly. We walk back towards the offices slowly, talking about other hobbies and interests we have. I'm psyched to find out he also likes Halloween, and he's thrilled that I enjoy chess.

"Hey, I guess I'll catch you after work?" I say to Spencer as we walk back to his desk, and I look at the clock.

"Uh, y-yeah, I'll see you later," he replies. I smile at him and head back to Penelope's office.

"Hey, there she is! So, how was your lunch?" Penny says as I walk in.

I smile and say, "Pretty good. I have a book buddy now. Haven't had an irl one since I lived at home with my parents."

She smiles at me and says, "Good! I don't know if you've guessed, but Reid could use more people to talk to." I nod and sit back down, about to start back on my work, when I turn and ask Penelope for a few more folders. She nods, handing me 4, and says, "At this rate, I'll have to go grab more for us before the end of the day!" I just smile and put my headphones back on, getting to typing.

After finishing the one from before lunch and breezing through the four that Penelope gave me, I pause my music and take off my headphones to stand up and stretch for a moment. Penelope looks up at me and says, "You're done? Give me a minute and I can show you where we get them, ok?" I nod, still stretching my limbs to get the blood flow back to normal. Once I'm done, she stands up and motions for me to follow her. As we walk to the storage room, Penelope says, "So, I know it's been two days and slow, but what do you think of the BAU so far?"

"I like it! Everyone's nice, and the job is something I can easily do. I just hope I can keep up when there's a case." I tell her.

"Well, fingers crossed that we don't get one til next week, I'm excited about the get-together at O'Keefe's this weekend," she says, doing so with her right hand.

"Oh, right. Who all will be there?" I ask.

"Well, I know Hotch won't be there, because he and his wife had a baby not long ago. I've asked Gideon, Elle, and JJ, and we talked about it with Morgan and Reid. Out of everyone asked, the only one that I don't know if they're going for sure is Reid." she explains.

I nod, trying to keep my face neutral, but something must have shown, because the next thing Penelope said was, "Hey, don't worry, I've got a few more tricks up my sleeve."

Surprised, I start, "But I didn't..."

Penelope rushes in with, "Oh, I know, but I also know that look. Gonna have to practice your poker face a little better if you work around profilers all day!"

I give a small laugh and say, "I-yeah, I suppose so, huh?" After getting another box of case files, we head back to the office, setting the box on a rare spot on the table not covered by tech.

Sitting back down, we get to work, inputting the information into the BAU's database. While I'm aided by music, we make it through half the box by the end of the day. Closing the last folder I've transcripted, I put it back in the box to be put back when we're done. I put my headphones and MP3 player back in my purse and start to stretch again as Penelope closes her folder and places it back in the box. "Ready to leave, hon?" she asks me, turning and grabbing her purse. I grab my own and nod.

Walking to the elevators, we're joined by Elle and JJ, who are in a conversation as they make their way to us. "Hey, Lina! Happy to be heading home?" JJ says with a smile.

I smile back and say, "A little. How about you?"

"Oh, absolutely!" Elle says with a laugh.

Penelope chimes in with, "I'll be really happy when we can go out this weekend!" All three of them laugh and agree, just as Derek and Spencer show up. "Isn't that right, Hot Stuff?" Penny says as she spots the men coming near us.

"What's that, Baby Girl?" Derek says, as the elevator doors open and we all enter.

Penelope smirks and says, "That going out this weekend will be really fun! Oh! And Lina, karaoke will be this weekend since you were wondering."

"Oh, cool, yeah, I'll be there, then. Um, I might need directions, though..." I start.

"Oh! I can give you a ride, did you want my number, and you can text me your address?" Penelope interjects.

"Oh, uh, yeah, here..." I say, handing her my phone.

As Penelope adds herself to my contacts list, JJ asks, "So, the usual time, right?"

Handing me back my phone, Penelope nods and says, "Yup! Does anyone else need a ride?"

JJ pipes up with, "No, Elle and I will head there together, and I think Gideon said he'll take his car."

"That just leaves you two. So?" Penelope says, looking between Derek and Spencer. As the elevator opens up, we exit and walk away slightly, keeping the path to the elevator clear for anyone else.

"Well, you know I'm up for it. How about you, Pretty Boy? You gonna come out with us for a change?" Derek says, turning to Spencer.

"I-I d-don't know..." Spencer starts, with JJ adding, "Aww, c'mon, Spence, it'll be fun!"

Turning to him, I smile and join in. "Yeah! It'll be fun!"

"Oooh, look out, Boy Genius! They're gangin' up on ya!" Penelope says with a laugh.

Spencer flushes and stammers out "M-maybe, I-I'll see you guys tomorrow..." and walks off.

I quickly text Penelope so she has my number and address, and then I check the clock and say, "Oh man, yeah, I gotta go, too. I'll text you as soon as I can, Penny! See you guys!" and I rush off in the same direction that Spencer went.

I make it about halfway to the station when I finally see Spencer, slowing from a run to a speed walk. As I catch up to him, he looks over at me, then back ahead and says, "I didn't take you for a runner, Lina."

Grinning, I say, "I'm not, really. I only started trying to get a little faster starting last year. It's helped increase my walking speed, too. Which comes in handy, since I have to take twice as many steps to keep up with 95% of the people I walk with, as I'm so short I might as well be labeled a Hobbit."

My last comment pulling a small smile to his face, I say to him, "Hey, um, I'm sorry about back there. I guess I couldn't resist the thought of having someone else on the 'non-drinking team' while out at a bar."

He goes silent for a minute, then says, "You really think it'd be fun?"

I nod and say, "I really do. Besides," I continue with a smile. "I'm someone who'll willingly go up onstage and make an idiot of themselves."

He looks at me and says, "I doubt you'd make an idiot of yourself."

"Hey, you don't know that for sure. I might sound like a...an asthmatic pterodactyl when I try to sing." I say jokingly, which gets a laugh from him. We walk into the station and sit on a bench, waiting for the train.

"What could that possibly even sound like, though? A...wheezing screech?" he says, still laughing.

I smile and say, "That'd be my bet. So come on, what do you say? Want to witness a ridiculous spectacle like that?"

He shakes his head a little and sighs, saying, "I-Alright, I'll-I'll come. I suppose I'll ask Morgan for a ride..." Quickly hiding that I'm grinning like an idiot, I dig in my purse for my fare.

As the Metro pulls in, I ask, "So, did you want me to bring the next two books in tomorrow?"

"I-yes, I would like that, if-if that's ok..." Spencer says, standing up and waiting for me so we can head onto the train.

"Awesome! Hopefully, I can remember to make a note of what page I left off on...though it probably doesn't matter, since it's a reread, after all..." I say, mostly to myself.

Standing up and following Spencer, we sit down and he asks, "So, have you read many of the classics, or do you mainly stick with contemporary books?"

"Um, I haven't read very many classics, I'm afraid. I haven't even read Frankenstein yet, which is a shame...um, that said I have read a few." I start counting them off on my fingers. "Let's see, there's Little Women, 1984, Fahrenheit 451, The Hobbit, Handmaid's Tale...there's a bunch I bought, but I just...haven't gotten around to reading them...I probably should, huh?"

Spencer gives a small smile and says, "'Should' isn't something that denotes enjoyment, I think. You 'should' only read what you want. However, depending on the themes you enjoy, and you want to read some of the classics that fall into those categories, I can suggest some...i-if you want..."

I give him a shy smile back, and say, "I'd like that, honestly. Knowing that there are so many that are considered 'classics' can be...kind of overwhelming. Well, I like science fiction and fantasy. And I know I like Edgar Allen Poe, even though I don't normally read any other poets."

"I can work with that. I can give you a list now if you want," he suggests.

I shake my head, telling him, "Ah, is there any way you can write it down? I, uh, it's...easier to have the info stick in my head if I can read it."

He nods and says, "I-I can do that, I'll have a list for you tomorrow."

I pull the signal for my stop and smile at him, saying, "Thank you, Spencer. I appreciate it. Well, see you tomorrow?" He nods and takes out a large book out of his bag. As the train slows down, I quip, "Ah, a bit of light reading for the rest of your ride?"

He chuckles and flushes slightly, then says, "Something like that. I'll see you tomorrow, Lina."

Still smiling, I disembark from the train and start walking home.

Previous chapter

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Story Masterlist

[amputeeblondiebattle]

I started writing  propaganda for Nagito

and then I realized that what the hell, if this was "the craziest blond amputee" bracket, he'd win by default, but coolest? Yeah, umm, no. I do love you my fluffhead, but how about I just drag you out of this tournament and to therapy, k?

But in case anyone is curious about how he lost his arm (DR spoilers ahead), well... he cut it off himself and attached to its place the arm from a certain someone's corpse... (and following true DR logic, such stuff as different blood types don't cause any issues whatsoever) Well, at least he did have very nice manicure for a while, if only on one hand. Later on the arm was replaced by a prosthetic.

So, yeah, I don't know what part if any of this would count as cool. Maybe the robo prosthetic, dunno.

.......also, it'd be very fitting for Nagito to lose to losers, so.

Dammit.

I'm still voting for him, but whatever, do what you want. >_> poor boy, his self-esteem is below zero to begin with, this isn't going to help

Maybe I should just skip the poll and advance all three of them together. He also sounds a bit like a loser

Also what the heck a corpse arm? Was it freshly dead at least???

[game-boy-pocket]

Well I woke up and after a little bit of rest, I finally managed to beat that final boss. It only took a few more tries, and I learned that you can damage him using a few of the Emerald Powers, but you can only get in maybe two hits, three if you're very lucky.

I still maintain this boss is a bullshit difficulty spike. And for some reason, I frequently had problems where my rings would just fall through the floor, or even stranger, instead of being able to pick them up, they would just bounce off of me.

The boss wasn't even particularly interesting or different either, there was no creative spin unless you count an animation that happens between phases and even that would be a stretch.

I also learned the hard way that ending isn't different if you have all the Emeralds, meaning I beat him, endured some very long credits, made sure to get the last emerald I needed, and then challenged the final level and final boss again, with no difference.

It did unlock a new mode in the game. Seems to be an homage to playing as Knuckles in Sonic 3, where the game is a fair bit harder, the routes are a little different, and the bosses have new tricks. So it looks like I have more game left, but I think i'm gonna hold off until another month to finish up.

I bought the Switch version, and it playd fine, except when I had speed shoes. Then the framerate tanked. Also a few textures were pretty blurry. But I don't care. I maybe should have gotten it on Steam, but I wanted a physical release.

This sounds like a lot of negative but make no mistake, this is a really fun Sonic game. Some people are saying it's not as good as Mania, and maybe they're right, but I dunno, I like this a lot more than Mania just by virtue of it being a fully original game instead of a series of throwback levels and remakes of levels... there's musical throwbacks to be sure. But nothing too obnoxious... I just wish this wasn't another case of Jun Sunuoe trying too hard to sound like Sega Genesis and only ever getting the drums right.

This is the first Sonic game in a long time to actually feel like a game with a focus on platforming. And that's what I've wanted out of 2D Sonic for a long time. Mania had that too but with more emphasis on speed than platforming, at least that's how I feel.

It made me very happy to see Fang in this game. He doesn't have as many appearances as he did in Sonic Triple Trouble, but his appearances feel a lot more impactful this time. I really hope he sticks around, maybe even brings Bark and Bean with him.

I like the design of Trip. Spoiler alert, but you do eventually get to see without the mask. I won't spoil the species but I was very happy to be pretty close to guessing. I don't think they developed her enough. I feel like these games kind of suffer from Sega refusing to do voice acting, because I really don't understand what Trip is even doing in the story. I probably wouldn't have understood Knuckle's whole deal either in Sonic 3 if supplemental material didn't clear it up, but it's not the 90's anymore, we shouldn't need supplemental material for the story to be cohesive. I'm not asking this game to be obnoxious like Sonic Heroes, just a few voice lines in the beginning, ending, and the one or two key story moments later on. Even text boxes would have been better than like... two seconds of pantomime.

Anyway... I hate sounding negative, I do love this game, it's just easier to vocalize what I wish was better about it than what I already love about it, and I feel like it's more important to spotlight the things that will be a problem than the things that will just be fine and provide a lot of fun.

Mario is out in a few more days... so i'm gonna cool off on this game or a while, and catch up on my Halloween watching.

[thesmithsbackyard]

TOP TEN: i m p o s s i b l e

Really though I’ve been sitting here marveling at the fact that, this show has been on since 2005, it has either 17 or 20 full seasons with two more on the way, (the episode counts are weird) I can pop in Season 2 or Season 16 still have a grand old time. They just do...whatever the hell they want, and it works!

I wracked my brain for several months, I made some painful cuts, here’s my top ten lol. In no particular order. Just barely managed to figure out what my fave ep of all time is

Spoilers!! Kind of. I don’t want to spoil these in case people wanna watch them. But who am I kidding; I’m screaming into a void over here. ANYWHO:

The Life and Times of Stan Smith 12-15

Okay. So one set up in this show is, Stan is against something. Turns out he can’t avoid that thing or it’s a Good Thing Actually. He gets waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too far into it. Shenanigans!! It’s great, I love it. My favorite example is this episode. He gets addicted to dying. Like...like actually dying.

Meanwhile, Steve goes to Arizona State University and does not have a good time

Daddy Queerest 4-19

This episode just warms my heart. Greg and Terry are a gay couple that live across the street. Terry’s dad is visiting for the weekend and doesn’t know Terry’s gay. Dramaaaa!! Oh my god, the ending of this one is so cute and good.

Meanwhile, Roger buys beer for Steve and his friends at a party. For $12 profit.

I feel like i should acknowledge something. *sigh* So yeah. Greg and Terry *are* that stereotypical gay couple where almost every joke with them is that They're Gay. But i dunno, I never got the sense of any malice behind it. They're never put down by other characters for it and there's never any theme or joke that it's bad to be gay and over the top like them?

I understand why it is annoying to only see that portrayal and that the joke being HAHA GAY is bad though so...Your Mileage May Vary

Hayley Smith, Seal Team 6 11-3

Eps like this one make me so happy this show got a second chance on another channel. Hayley ends up mentally regressing to age six. Jeff and Klaus try to get her back to normal. I love all the little bits they do that show how her relationship with her parents was like.

Meanwhile, a weird stranger convinces Steve and his friends to use a slow cooker while making pork. He’s not even a real pervert!

There’s this adorable part when she does patty-cake with Roger which shows they used to like each other too.

EXCEEEEEEPT!! [extra nerdy glasses on] In season 2, Roger sings a song about how he used to be close friends to Steve. And in that, when they first met, Roger is shown to be given to Steve as a birthday present.

While Hayley and Francine freak out, and the design they use for Hayley is her mid-puberty design in a later ep

THEREFORE they did not meet when she was six. Episode recalled

[i’m kidding it’s delightful and I’m just a freak about this show go watch it lol. it might not even be exactly how they were, just showing how they would be if they met back then]

Lost in Space 8-18

Jeff is trapped on the ship of Roger’s people. Pretty much every episode about Jeff going to, being in, or result of space is really good. I could shove them all into this...part of this non-numbered list

It's adorable! Like almost painfully so. Whenever I hear people say this show is too mean or gross I can think of several episodes where they're not lol

Haylias 3-5

This one was my top fave for the longest time. Hell it still might be. Turns out Hayley was trained to be a CIA sleeper agent. Stan re-activates her so she’ll be independent in the way he prefers...kind of. He actually feels a little guilty about it.

Meanwhile, this is also the ep when, the myths, the LEGENDS, Wheels and the Legman are born!! Fantastic [Steve and Roger pretend to be detectives and half the joke is they're making it up as they go along. it's one of my favorite plot threads ever in this show]

Flirting With Disaster 6-18

Soooo...Stan and Francine. I love them so much. They're insane. Ohhhh my god. In this one, it’s revealed that Stan flirts with other people at work. Nothing that leads to an affair or anything. Francine ends up working there and everything’s fine until something happens that renders her horrifically scarred. Now they gotta learn how to flirt with each other again.

It starts with an...homage? Parody? Of “The Office”, but with who Stan works with at the CIA. They keep with that parody in how the scenes are shot and the general humor, until the first commercial break. They also explain that in-universe in a funny way that isn’t too meta. (Oh man, I could go ON about how this show does meta humor) The humor they do isn’t too far off from how the show generally is, so when it goes back to how the show is normally shot it’s not too jarring.

Meanwhile, Steve builds birdhouses as a hobby and Roger starts a business with that. There’s this one part with birds that leaves me in shock and awe every time like jesus christ it’s just soo...the efforts they go to just for A Bit in this show. I need to make a separate post about that I just sfhdjsjfhsdklghdslkgds

Yule. Tide. Repeat. 15-22

The Christmas eps of this show. SHIT GETS WILD. Almost every one that’s come out has been in my top fave episodes. Stan wants to have a normal, “Norman Rockwell Christmas,” because every one they’ve ever had has been very bad and very weird. His words, not mine. Something goes terribly wrong, and Stan ends up caught in a time loop where he has to pick the right path to find his family.

There’s a part with gore, and honestly gore jokes are one of my least favorite parts of this show. BUT. It’s used effectively in this story. (and I will acknowledge that even though I don’t like gore jokes. at least when they happen on this show it’s actually a joke or part of the plot sooo whatever)

The Two Hundred 11-10

It’s the apocalypse for some reason. Stan wanders the earth with tattoos feeling real bad about how he treated his family. Greg is there too. He’s fun, I like Greg

West to Mexico 12-22

So every once in a while there will be an “au” episode, where the characters aren’t related to each other but still do a Thing. (I mean every once in a while; there’s only been like two or three over 300 eps and I’m not sure if one is even ‘canon’)

In this one, Stan’s an outlaw in the United States after the civil war. Wild west stuff happens. I think it's based on a movie. But when this show does movies they don’t just do a movie scene but it’s the characters and they’re meta about it, they’ll just do a scene or something similar to it. Like no one turns to the camera and says “heeey this is just like Djanjo Unchained!” or whatever it was. It’s based on something but it’s still done in the style and humor of the show, which is neat.

One Little Word 4-3

Oh god. THIS ONE. You know what, I’ve finally decided. This one is my favorite. This ep is like a culmination of everything I love about this show. The cringe AND the good shit. This was an ep that when it came on I’d feel like YEESSS IT’S THIS ONE. You know that feeling?? Like you know you’re gonna have an excellent time for the next half hour. I just...there’s so many little details and bits that are expanded upon later and little cute character moments and everything just builds to this hilarious payoff and AAAAAAH

There’s a couple jokes that are kinda...well not the worst thing ever but I can see why today people might be like...mmmm No. But mostly I just. Oh god. I just love I was able to fall in love with this one all over again. Christ I haven’t even said what it’s about yet.

So Stan wants to be Bullock’s number one at work. (there’s already Layers here) He goes so far to bring back his wife from being captured overseas. Meanwhile Francine wants to celebrate with Stan up alone at a lake. Unfortunately Bullock’s family ends up staying at Stan’s house…

(Lake Fraiser. I havent seen much of that show but recently I’ve been wondering if this episode is a parody of either an episode of it or just its style of writing in general?? I’ve wanted to watch Fraiser but never got around to it. The syndicated channel I watched reran this show, Two and a Half Men, and Friends instead. Baaarrff lmao)

Oh dear god I've done it. Kind of. See I’m looking at this list and there’s STILL sooooooo many I love where I’m like “what about this ep. And this one. And this one. Technically there’s infinite numbers between one and ten” There’s at least on ep per season in that top five list I did where I KNEW I’d be like “why isn’t This one on the list goddammit”

[goldeendraws]

totk Doodles. He’ll save the kingdom with courage and this gun he found.

dunno if these next ones count as spoilers, so i g just in case :’v

i mean, i thought Link’s arm would change in some way by the end (hadn’t seen any spoilers when i made this thing)

Rauru straight up said at the begining “we had to replace your arm” so i thought he’d lose it, or something else would take its place, i dunno mang.

So in this some of that Zonai epoxy glue and whatever wasnt too fucked up of his original arm are combined

(you know how arms are made, glue and skin, right?)

Modern au? who knows, i just wanted to give them stuff i’d wear :3

Zelda use to have a hat, then i remembered i don’t know how to draw hats lmao

They shleep

[tanadrin]

I could, but it'd be kind of dumb to do so, wouldn't it?

...no? if we care about outcomes we have to actually look at outcomes to make sure our intuitions about these systems are correct. there are lots of systems where our intuitions turn out to be wrong--I remember argumate once positing that you couldn't build enough housing to reduce rent in big cities because of induced demand, and that has recently been shown to be outright false, because rapidly building housing in some U.S. cities has resulted in a significant decline in real rents.

That happened upthread with someone else and you quibbled with it on a fairly arbitrary ground, which you'll certainly be able to do with any example, as indeed one do with any example you might to cite to support your position.

I ask out of genuine curiosity, not because I want to knock down examples! Would also be happy for a citation for, I dunno, a political science paper surveying the question.

The Knesset is only one example, and it might be typical of dysfunction in PR systems, but it might not be--I think there are other weird things going on in the Knesset system, like the lack of electoral districts, that are uncommon in PR systems generally, and so might be contributing to the dysfunction there. But because government is complicated, more examples of the phenomenon would be helpful to establish the pattern.

And I think that is reason to be skeptical, sure, but you're setting up a mug's game here where you defend your preferred system on abstract theoretical grounds but insist critics defend theirs with illustrative case studies.

No? Of the handful of PR systems I am familiar with--Ireland (ish, they're multi-member districts with STV, but they still facilitate smaller parties; Wikipedia cites them as an example of a PR system, but IIRC you consider that system not PR?), Germany, and (to a much lesser degree) other European political systems, the thing you and others cite as a big problem with PR doesn't seem to come up all that often. The worst political deadlock caused by spoiler effects in politics that I am familiar with--the US and the UK--are both explicitly FPTP systems.

Now, I am not claiming to be familiar with a representative sample of electoral systems (as I think I said already), so my sample might be terribly biased, but if that's the case, I think it's on you, the advocate of the purported spoiler effect being a problem, to be able to corroborate your assertion!

there's no empiricism to speak of anywhere in voting-systems discourse

It's hard to run controlled experiments with complex real-world systems, but I think sanity checks based on multiple specific real-world examples are still important. If (sorry, not trying to pick on argumate here, it's just the example that came to mind) you make the blanket assertion "building housing can never result in a decline in real rents because of induced demand," and real rents decline in a city at the same time a lot of housing is being built or immediately after, that's an important counterargument.

Given that upthread you were all about the idea that this was an unreasonable concern even if it were true

Are you referring to this paragraph?

And I still think it’s an overreach to even call it a flaw. Close elections produce unstable majorities. It is known. Small parties typically can’t demand outsized concessions from big parties, but it’s reasonable to demand some concessions if you are propping up someone else’s majority. This is how representative government should work! Small parties participating in government means your vote is more likely to count even if your guys don’t win!

My point there is that "small parties getting nonzero contribution to the legislative program in exchange for the majority" is a democratic outcome that we shouldn't worry about. If small parties contribute to bad policy outcomes/unstable governments/other issues in these circumstances to a greater degree than kingmaker/spoiler effects in other electoral systems, that would be a reasonable concern.

And I want to move the conversation to the realm of specific real world examples precisely so we don't get lost in the weeds of debating abstractions/intuitions/models of how these systems work. A couple of strong counterexamples would be really clarifying, and help us avoid just fencing with our respective intuitions/implicit mathematical models. I asked for counterexamples because I genuinely assume that, if one opposes PR for outcome-based reasons, one has particular examples in mind that are the basis of that opinion.

If you like we can say the Knesset is one strong counterexample, but as I said, personally, I find it to be a weird one. So I would find it helpful to have another counterexample that was at least weird in a different way. Because it might be that "no electoral districts" or "easy ways of circumventing the minimum vote threshold rules" or some particular local feature of Israeli politics makes Israeli government uniquely unstable, and Israeli politics seems dramatically different to me than the politics in other countries with even remotely comparable electoral systems.

And given that I can point to one PR system without strong small-party/marginal representative spoiler effects (Germany) and one PR with them (Israel), and two non-PR systems with small-party/marginal-representative spoiler effects (the UK and the US, both of which happen to be FPTP; not counting Ireland in either category because of the categorical issue alluded to above) and none without them (which, to be clear, is not because I think FPTP or other non-PR systems are particularly unstable, but because I simply don't know much about politics in other countries that might use that system), if we are going to establish a pattern of PR systems as being especially prone to this effect then clearly more examples would be helpful.

Honestly, I *don't* want to mix things with proportional representation. I see proportional representation as an excellent way of increasing the importance of dealings between politicians and reducing the incentive effects of the voters. But in my ideal world I'll need to negotiate with people who do like proportional representation, and this system is a compromise I could get behind. Plus you can plug and play any three different electoral systems for different compromises.

First past the post is a bad, undemocratic electoral system. First past the post privileges large parties by making small ones unviable, and distorts the composition of parliaments by wasting votes. It can be gerrymandered in a way proportional representation cannot be. It produces highly unrepresentative outcomes. It is a bad electoral system! All good voting systems are to some degree inclined to more proportional results.

I've never heard the accusation that PR "increases the importance of dealings between politicians," but look. I don't know how else to put this. That is a stupid objection. Just absolutely boneheaded. You haven't thought about this at all, I reckon.

People hate on "politicians" as a generic class, but it's like hating on lawyers as a generic class. You need politicians. You want politicians. You want people whose specialized job it is to read legislation, fight about what should go in it, represent your interests, and come to balanced compromises about those interests. People percieve politics as messy, venal, and corrupt, and it can be all those things, but guess what? The alternative to career politicians is part-time citizens who don't know what the fuck they're doing, have no expertise in the legislative process, and therefore are at the mercy of lobbyists who can walk them like a dog because they're naive and inexperienced.

There's this especially (but not exclusively) American pathology that is a suspicion of government that works too well. This peculiar notion that if only we sabotage government a little bit it will keep tyranny in check and make politicians more honest... somehow. But filling government with random yahoos doesn't get you a noble collegium of Tocquevillian citizen-lawmakers, it gets you a pack of Marjorie Taylor Greens and Lauren Boberts. You know--morons. Americans will support all these ballot initiatives that fuck up government on purpose, like term-limiting legislators and keeping their salaries low so only rich people can afford to go into politics (and even then are only willing to do it as a stepping stone to other gigs), and vote for people who promise to make government work even worse by cutting the budget and lowering taxes, and then have the absolute gall to whine about how badly the government works. My fellow Americans, you did that on purpose.

(And there's this weird paradox where Americans all loathe Congress. Who keeps voting these creeps in? Well. You do. Congresscritters are generally pretty highly approved of by their own constituents. The stereotype of lazy, stupid, venal politicians always seems to apply to the other guys.)

And you will also note that since the abolition of things that used to facilitate deals between politicians in the U.S. congress--since the abolition of earmarks and chummy socials between congressmen and the post--generally, since the post-Gingrich upheaval in the House--it has gotten harder to pass even necessary, basic legislation, because it is harder to make the basic compromises necessary to keep government functioning. Having three separate legislatures that each can claim a different sort of democratic mandate isn't a recipe for good legislation, it's a recipe for paralysis and constitutional crisis.