#would this count as a character study . idek | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

m1ckeyb3rry · 10 months ago

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Pomegranate Ink: XXXII

Series Synopsis: Unable to heal but willing to fight, with a fiancé in Kyoto and a last name that looms over everything you do, you accept an offer to study at Tokyo Jujutsu Tech. What you did not know was that your salvation and your ruination alike would soon join you at the school, neatly wrapped in the form of a boy followed by death.

Chapter Synopsis: The final confrontation against Sukuna.

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Yuta Okkotsu × Female Reader

Chapter Word Count: 6.2k

Content Warnings: angst, misogyny, naoya zenin, forbidden relationships, canon-typical violence, character death, original characters included

A/N: man idek at this point…call it sibling bonding or wtvr

“You’re sure you have to do this?” you said, holding onto the end of Gojo’s shirt and walking alongside him, following him to the door. He had already said farewell to the others; you were the only one left, the only one who refused to let go. It was typically like that, though — you were closer to him than the others were by virtue of knowing him throughout your childhood, even before coming to the school.

“The only other option is to allow Sukuna to keep Megumi,” Gojo said. “And to terrorize society at his leisure. We both know that that’s not something we can live with. I do have to do this, whether or not you want me to.”

“Speaking of which, do you think Megumi can still be saved?” you said. “Or is it too late? Must we let go of him already?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I will…I will try my best to bring him back, but in the process of defeating Sukuna, I might have to harm him a bit, so I can’t guarantee it. It’s an impossible position we’re in, since Sukuna and Megumi are one and the same, but we want to save one as much as we want to kill the other.”

“That’s what I’m here for, though,” you said grimly. “You can beat him up as much as you need to. I’ll heal him up and he’ll be back to his normal self with no issues. By this time next week, he’ll be sighing all passive-aggressively all over the place, and it’ll be like he never left.”

“It makes me feel better to know that’s the case,” he said. “Relying on you leaves less of a bitter taste in my mouth than relying on others. And while we’re on the subject, you have what I gave you yesterday, right?”

“Yes, of course, but like you said, I don’t think they’ll come in much handy for me anymore,” you said. He shrugged.

“You never know. Maybe you’ll decide you want them, for some reason,” he said. “Just keep them safe. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how precious they are.”

“I already promised I would! Besides, even if they weren’t like that, I would’ve taken care of them all the same. Anything from you is precious to me,” you said. He mimed gagging.

“That was horribly cheesy, by the way,” he said, ruffling your hair as he often did when his hands were free and his mind was busy but he wanted to show his affection for you in some way. “But I appreciate the sentiment, I guess.”

“I know you feel the same, you dumb egret, so there’s no need for the tough act,” you said.

“Egret? Calling me that is a little far out of the realm of plausibility,” he said. “I don’t look anything like one.”

“Hm, I don’t know. I think it’s perfectly apt as a description,” you said. He considered this before shrugging.

“We can discuss the semantics later. For now, come here,” he said, opening his arms. You embraced him in the way you always did, and it felt the way it always did, too, warm and comfortable and solid despite how cold his extremities were and how lean his body was.

“You never used to hug me so much,” you said, trying to pretend like nothing was wrong or happening, that this was just an ordinary farewell, as if you were only going back home for the weekend or something. “This is a recent development. What gives?”

“Blame it on old age,” he said.

“You aren’t even thirty yet,” you said. “That’s hardly considered ‘old age’ in any sense of the concept.”

“It’s older than you are,” he shot back. “But fine. For luck, then?”

“For luck,” you agreed. “I’ll see you later, Gojo.”

“Goodbye, Y/N,” he said, and then you were alone in the doorway, gazing at the empty space where he had once been and wishing for only the briefest moment that he was not so selfless, that he had instead chosen to abandon the world and everyone to stay with you and be your teacher forever.

Everyone was waiting for you back in the room where Mei Mei had connected her crow vision technique to a bunch of TVs, letting you all watch the confrontation between Gojo and Sukuna in real-time and adjust your responses accordingly. After all, there were so many variables at play that without that, it would be impossible for anyone to know what to do next. It was the whole reason that Gojo had called her in the first place — well, that, and because of her little brother Ui Ui, who was on the whole even more useful than she was.

You made a beeline for the couch where Yuta and Maki were, settling in between them, surprising just about no one. Wrapping your arms around Yuta’s bicep, you lay your cheek against it, knocking your knees against his as you sat, for he would serve as your support now more than ever.

“He’s gone,” you said when it became obvious everyone was waiting for you to speak. “Left for Shinjuku. They should get started soon.”

“I wish he would’ve let us come help him,” Hakari said. “Don’t interrupt me, Y/N! I know that he works better alone, so we would actually drag him down, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel bad about it.”

“Actually, I was just going to say that it’s a pleasant surprise to see you concerned about someone other than yourself,” you said. “I’m really proud, Hakari. It seems like you’ve grown a lot in the past month.”

“Oh, shut up,” he said. You rolled your eyes but found you were too stressed to actually engage in any meaningful arguments with him. Anyways, it was as you always said: arguing with Hakari only made a person dumber, and now was not the time for that sort of thing.

“There he is,” Maki said, pointing at the screens where Gojo could now be seen, as cocky as ever, made more arrogant by the way he was towering over Sukuna, who was after all in the body of a first year student.

“Wow,” Hakari said. “Fushiguro is such a little shrimp! That boy needs a growth spurt immediately.”

Wordlessly, Yuta handed you a pillow, already knowing what you wanted to do. Accepting it gratefully, you chucked it at Hakari, smiling slightly when it smacked into his stomach, prompting a groan from him but then a blissful silence afterwards. Kirara did briefly glare at you, the closest thing to retaliation you got, but since you didn’t care much about that, it was a positive outcome overall.

“He’s not that short,” Itadori defended, though considering he was shorter than Megumi, there was definitely some bias coloring his words. “Besides, anyone would look tiny next to Gojo, except for maybe Todo.”

“That’s true,” Hakari allowed. “Yeah, I’ll apologize to Fushiguro next time we meet. Plus, all of us are like that in our first years. The rest of his family members that I’ve seen are pretty tall, so I’m sure he’ll be like that once he grows up.”

After that, you all mostly were silent, only occasionally remarking on events as they happened. Sukuna and Gojo moved at a pace almost too fast to comprehend, and it seemed their minds worked at that kind of speed, as well. The things they were doing were unfathomable to sorcerers like the rest of you, every new move drawing gasps from everyone watching, mostly due to the sheer gall they required and the way they were completely redefining sorcery as you knew it. There was no doubt in any of your minds: this was truly a clash of the two strongest sorcerers in all of history, and despite Gojo’s confidence, there was no certain victor. It could happen in any way. The scales could tip in either’s favor at any moment, and it was likely that you wouldn’t even realize until the balance was so unequal that nothing could be done to restore it.

“So that’s Mahoraga,” Kusakabe said at one point. It had definitely come as a surprise that the generally self-interested teacher had decided to stay and fight alongside the others instead of running like Noritoshi and Elakshi had, but for some reason, even though he wasn’t particularly strong, his presence comforted you. Like Ieri and Gojo, he had once been an authority figure in your life, someone who could be counted upon to know the answers to your questions, so now that the scenario was so confusing, having him there made it feel like there was a chance that order could at some point be restored. Furthermore, due to his expertise and experience as a teacher, he was able to explain what was happening to everyone in a way that you could understand, which was invaluable.

According to Kusakabe, Mahoraga was the pinnacle of the Ten Shadows technique that was engraved on Megumi’s body. It was a massive, hulking being that was an amalgamation between man and snake, with its body vaguely humanoid but its head distinctly serpentine. It was inescapably eerie and uncanny, and you shuddered, pressing even closer to Yuta at the sight of it. He did not react, eyes trained on the screens, tracking every slight movement that Gojo and Sukuna made even before they made them.

“He can do it, can’t he?” Itadori said, voice small. “He can defeat Sukuna before Mahoraga adapts, right?”

Nobody responded, because of course none of you knew what the outcome would be. In such a close match, even a breath taken at the wrong time could be fatal for either party, so there was no way of knowing who would come out on top. Especially now that Mahoraga had been added into the mix, with his potential to cut through even the Limitless via adaptation…who could be sure? Who could still say with full confidence that Gojo would win, besides Gojo himself? Because you knew he would, could hear his haughty voice in your mind even now: I will win.

“Has he forgotten about Fushiguro?” Hana said. She was right: you had never seen Megumi’s body in a worse condition, but Gojo seemed to pay it no mind, adding to the cuts and bruises blooming on the boy’s fair skin at will, even taunting him as he went along, though naturally it was not Megumi he was insulting but Sukuna himself, Sukuna and his reliance on Megumi’s technique and the shikigami he could summon. What kind of King of Curses can’t even go against his enemy without the help of a little boy? Come on, give me a break!

“It’s fine,” Kashimo said. “I hope he has — it’s more interesting that way. He should’ve forgotten him from the start!”

“No way!” Itadori said. “You don’t even know him, so you can just be quiet, okay? Seriously! Who even invited you here?”

“Of course, he’s doing his best to save Megumi, but he can’t afford to hold back, not when Sukuna won’t do the same,” you said as Kashimo shrugged, obviously unbothered by Itadori’s words. “We’ll lose both of them if he does that. At this point, he has to rely on instinct, so he can’t give any consideration to Megumi anymore, not until it’s safe enough. Faltering is as good as surrendering, so he just can’t.”

“I don’t know how I feel about that,” Itadori said. “It makes sense, but it feels unfair. Fushiguro didn’t do anything! He doesn’t deserve this. It should be my body out there. It would be alright if I was the one that Gojo had to kill, but why him?”

“Have a little more trust in Gojo,” Yuta said evenly. “He always has a plan. It’ll be alright. Megumi’s important to him, so he wouldn’t leave things up to fate or chance. If he didn’t think that he could save him, then he would’ve said something; conversely, since he’s said he’ll do his best, he honestly will. You know he’s like that.”

As the only remaining special grade sorcerer — alongside Gojo, of course — Yuta’s words carried a certain weight to them, and indeed as soon as he spoke, there was a collective release of the tension gathered in the room. He was as right as always; Gojo wouldn’t just charge into things blindly. He was much too calculated to just disregard something so important in the heat of the moment like that, and especially not when Megumi’s life was up in the air. Megumi, who was probably the only other person he cared for as much as he did you. You were worrying because you could only see the results of the clash, not the thought process behind every move, but when had any of you ever truly been able to follow Gojo’s thought process in the first place?

At one point, when it looked like Gojo might lose, Yuta stood up. Takaba, a comedian-turned-sorcerer that had come with Itadori and allied himself with everyone else for some reason, did the same, and both of them headed towards the door. Nobody else took notice, completely fascinated by the unlikely comeback Gojo was in the process of making, but because you had been all but laying atop Yuta, you were immediately alerted to his departure.

“Where are you going?” you said, following after him, a suspicion growing in you that he was leaving to join the fight against Sukuna. Takaba glanced between the two of you before gulping and then waving, mouthing something at Yuta and then ducking out. You cocked your head at him before deciding that he was a comedian and therefore must be prone to doing such strange things.

“It’s something that I discussed with Gojo,” Yuta said. “Just last night. While everyone is focused on him and Sukuna, I’m going to take on Kenjaku. It’s the perfect moment to strike; no one will see it coming, especially not Kenjaku himself. Everyone thinks I’m the next in line if Gojo should fall, but in truth, I’ll be there, ready to kill that blight.”

“By yourself?” you said, numbness washing over you as your mind worked through what he was saying. He was going to go fight Kenjaku. It was even worse than going to help Gojo against Sukuna, because at least then, he’d have aid. But this — this was an endeavor he was undertaking all alone. He was going somewhere where no one could help him. Not Gojo. Not Maki. Not you. Nobody would be there for him.

“Takaba is going to be with me, so I won’t be alone,” he said, though this didn’t reassure you much. Takaba, a comparatively untrained sorcerer, would likely just serve as a distraction to cloak Yuta’s arrival, so the onus was still on Yuta’s shoulders. He was the one who would have to actually do it, which meant that he essentially was going against Kenjaku on his own.

“You can’t,” you said. “Yuta, you can’t. He beat Yuki Tsukumo, who was a special grade sorcerer! Listen to me this time and leave it. Don’t go. Let someone else take care of it.”

“Who but me could go?” he said. “It’s just as you said. He beat Yuki Tsukumo, which means no one else even stands a chance. I’m the only one left who can capitalize on this moment, the only remaining special grade sorcerer — bar the obviously preoccupied Gojo — and I cannot let this opportunity go. Kenjaku is as big of a thorn in our sides as Sukuna is, and we mustn’t let him live. He’s the reason all of this has happened, Y/N. Do you think I could just sit here and wait while he continues to exist?”

“Hakari can go,” you said desperately. “Or Itadori, or Choso. Anyone else can, but just not you. I don’t want it to be you. I can’t handle it if it’s you.”

“It’ll be okay,” he said. “Takaba and I have a plan, just like Gojo does. Even when things seem like they’re going badly, please remember this: we know what we’re doing. It may look like we’re struggling, but don’t just believe what you see. We have it all figured out.”

He was putting on a brave face for you. He didn’t have things ‘figured out’ any more than Gojo did; both of them were going into things blindly, facing off against opponents shrouded in mystery and unpredictability — they were mere men, battling preternatural, ancient monsters that had never tasted defeat. But for you, Yuta was pretending to have courage. You wondered where that frightened, deer-eyed boy you had met hiding under a desk in that high school had gone? The one who had ducked behind you at every loud noise? When had it become that he was the valiant one and you were the coward?

You couldn’t send him to his own death like this, but you also knew you could not stop him. He would go. You would stay. That was what your fates would be. His place was the battlefield, as yours was the hospital ward. That was why you could not beg him any longer — for you to ask him not to fight was like him asking you not to heal. It was what he was born to do, which meant that even if his subjugation was all but assured, he would still raise his sword, would still hold it with the very pride that a victor would, so that he might die in the same way he lived: as a jujutsu sorcerer.

“What will I do?” you said. “When you are gone, what will I do?”

“Wait for me,” he said. “Until I come back, you will wait for me. That’s what you’ll do.”

Unlike him, you couldn’t be considered strong, not anymore. You couldn’t maintain your composure, so it was with a choked cry that you flew at him, holding onto him as securely as you could, trying to memorize what he felt like, what it meant to embrace him, the way his body fit against yours, the way his heart beat against your chest, the exact smell of the soap he used to shower and wash his clothes.

“How am I supposed to do that?” you said. “How am I supposed to wait for you all alone?”

“You can do it,” he said. “You’re the girl I — you’re my Y/N. You can do it.”

“Please say it, Yuta,” you said. “Before you go, please tell me that you love me.”

Those words which he had never spoken, could never speak into existence. If he was going to challenge Kenjaku, then you wanted to hear them. If he might never come back again, then you wanted him to say them aloud. If there was no more hope for you two, then what did it matter if he cursed you with his love? You would accept such a curse gladly, if that was the only bargain.

“Y/N,” he said, and you knew before he said it what his answer would be.

“Just one time,” you pleaded. “You never have to again, but just once, please tell me.”

He was silent, only clinging to you tighter, too reluctant to let go immediately. But even when he tried to pull away, you refused to let him, knowing that once he left, he likely would not come back. Your dearest Yuta, your most beloved Yuta, your kind, gentle boy…how could he stand against a sorcerer like Kenjaku and win? Why was this pointless death the most he’d ever amount to? What kind of a person was he, that it didn’t even mean anything to him, that he marched forwards in spite of it?

Well, maybe it was because of this: he had, since his youth, been followed by that very death. Rika, the Queen of Curses, her darkness had been wrapped around him since the day she had become a vengeful spirit, and so death was the one thing which had never frightened him, not when the two were so intimately acquainted that it was as if they were old friends.

Maki did not question the fact that you were alone, that Yuta had vanished, that you were obviously weeping as you sat next to her. The others gave you looks containing various degrees of sympathy, but they, too, did not say anything. You were not their main concern at the moment, and neither was Yuta. It was Gojo who you were all thinking about, all focused on, because for the first time in the fight, he had the upper hand. For the first time, one thing was obvious: he was going to win. The scales had been disbalanced in his favor. He had exorcised Mahoraga and whatever other shikigami Sukuna had summoned, so it was down to the two of them, and while Gojo was hale, Sukuna was obviously tired. It wasn’t up in the air anymore — he was really going to do it.

Her reflexes were faster. She detected patterns quicker. She was just more skeptical than the rest of you. You weren’t sure which was truly the explanation, but it remained that Maki saw it happen before anyone else did. Sukuna smirked, if a mere twitch of his lips could be considered as such, and then Maki’s hand was slapping over your eyes and the world was dark and then someone was shouting. Itadori. It was Itadori, but why was he shouting? Hadn’t Gojo won? What reason did he have, then, to shout like that?

“Don’t open your eyes,” Maki instructed you. “Y/N, whatever you do, don’t open them.”

She knew better than you. You should’ve listened, but you did not. As soon as she removed her hand, you blinked your eyes open, trying to regain your bearings, and then you looked at the screen. After that, it was you screaming, not Itadori, trying to shut your eyes and pretend like you hadn’t seen it, pretend like it had just been a bad dream or intrusive thought or something. But even in your worst nightmares, your mind had never conjured up an image like that, which meant that you must’ve seen it, that it must’ve been real. It was real. It was real. It was real.

The scene was burnt into your mind: Gojo, his body cleaved into two, his upper half bloody on the ground but his legs still upright, so fast had it all been. As you had watched, they had collapsed beside his severed torso, and the sight was so gory that you would’ve retched if you had eaten anything earlier. He was dead. He was dead. He was dead.

But you were the girl who had brought someone back to life. This was not like Tullia, who had been beyond the point of saving once Sukuna got to her. You had to snap out of it; there was still a chance, after all. If you could get a hold of yourself, then there was still a chance. Reaching out, you grabbed Maki’s hand, squeezing it, clutching the only thing you surely had left in this world. She squeezed back.

“Someone, bring me his body,” you said, your voice shaky but determined. “As soon as possible. I can bring him back.”

“Hold on,” Hakari said, surprisingly softly given his usually brash attitude. “He’s cut in half, Y/N. You can’t possibly believe you can heal that.”

“It’s fine,” you said. “I can do it. This is why I gave up fighting: so that I can heal. I’ve done it before, so I will do it again. I will bring Gojo back to life.”

Thanks to Mei Mei’s little brother’s teleportation technique, Kirara was able to quickly retrieve Gojo’s body, setting the two halves on a gurney in front of you and then stepping back so that you could get to work, arranging the pieces so that they fit together once more. Sukuna’s technique was so perfect and precise that it appeared as if they had never been split in the first place, no overlaps or gaps between the jagged edges of his flesh.

He looked like he was sleeping. If your hands weren’t sticky with his blood, if you didn’t know that he would never be this still even when asleep, then you would’ve really believed that he was just resting. But your fingers were red and Gojo was incapable of serenity, so taking a deep breath, you reached far within yourself, drawing upon every single hurt you had ever felt, every injury inflicted upon you, every harsh word and lost friend. You reached for all of it and prayed it would be enough.

“Composition,” you said, waiting for the debilitating pain to hit you, the pain of death unto life, the pain you would gladly accept if it meant saving Gojo. But there was nothing. “Composition.” Nothing. “Composition.”

Nothing. There was nothing.

“Composition.”

Nothing.

Why was his heart not beating? Why was it not working? Why could you not save him? Why couldn’t you bring him back? You were capable of it. Why weren’t his skin and bones knitting together? Why did his organs not heave back into function?

“Gojo,” you said. “Gojo. Wake up now. It’s not funny anymore. Composition.”

You weren’t healing anything, but blood was pouring from your nose, your body protesting the constant activation and subsequent cancellation of your Reverse Cursed Technique. The droplets mixed with your tears, but you ignored both, because to acknowledge them meant acknowledging something else.

“Hey,” Maki said, tugging on your hand. “Come on.”

“No,” you said. “No. No. Composition.”

You were sobbing as you continued to initiate the Reverse Cursed Technique, uncaring of the fact that everyone was watching you, uncaring of the fact that your failure was on display for them all to see, uncaring of the fact that you were acting like a small child. Composition. Composition. Composition. That was the only thing on your mind.

“It’s time to give up,” Maki said. “Y/N. You can stop now. He’s really gone. Even you can’t bring him back.”

You couldn’t speak. You couldn’t think. You couldn’t breathe. All you could do was wail, grasping onto his shirt, his shoulders, whatever you could reach as Maki tried to pull you away, gagging as you bawled, the acrid smell of blood and sweat coating your nostrils and tongue as you threw yourself over his corpse. Your nature was like that, you realized. It was the same reason you had followed him to the door: you were not a girl who knew what it meant to let go.

“Why?” you gasped out as Maki physically lifted you and dragged you off of him, his sleeves tearing off as she yanked you away without care for how obstinately you were holding onto the scraps of him you could reach. “Why? I love him, too, so why can’t I bring him back? Let me go, Maki! I can still save him!”

“Y/N.” It was Ieri who was speaking now, her soft voice as sorrowful as it was severe. “You can’t. Some people are beyond saving.”

You had chosen to heal so that you could save people, but in the end, you had saved no one. Yuta was off fighting against Kenjaku, and who knew if he would survive that? Gojo was dead. Megumi was gone. You had never done anything that mattered. In the end, Composition, just like the L/Ns, had failed you. Some people are beyond saving. But that wasn’t supposed to matter to you. You were supposed to be able to save them, anyways.

“Ui Ui,” you said, the instant Maki put you down and you were standing on your own two feet, though she conspicuously did not remove her hands from your shoulders. Your grief had condensed into a hollow pit in your stomach, one that you shoved aside for the moment, knowing you could not think about it now. Feeling around in your pocket for Gojo’s final gift to you, you straightened your shoulders and felt a sort of calm wash over you when you found it, fingers curling around the cool wood. “I need you to take me to Sukuna.”

“What do you think?” Gojo said, presenting you with a small box containing a set of red needles. You hesitantly accepted them, wondering what use he thought you would have for them. “I harassed the L/Ns into imbuing them with Dissection as they were forged — that’s why they’re red like that — and then, I personally cursed them. Not just in that half-assed way I used to curse your old ones, either. Nope, these needles have more energy than even most Grade 1 sorcerers do! If the higher ups were still around, they would probably dub them special grade cursed tools, though they’re largely impractical to utilize for anyone but you.”

“I won’t ever use them,” you said. “So you shouldn’t have gone to all of that trouble. But thank you for doing that, and for entrusting them to me, anyways.”

“Who knows?” he said. “It just makes me feel better to know you have them. That way, you’ll never be defenseless. There’ll be this small piece of me that’ll always be with you, protecting you even when my entire self can’t be there to do it.”

“You didn’t train with everyone else,” Kusakabe said. “It’s too dangerous. You absolutely cannot go. Anyways, didn’t you give up combat?”

“I thought that healing was how I could save people,” you said. “But it turns out that I can’t save anyone, regardless of what I choose. So I will do what I set out to in the start. I will fight.”

“I’ll go with her,” Maki said, nodding at you firmly. You had thought for a second that she might try to convince you to stay back, but you really shouldn’t have. She wasn’t like Yuta and Gojo, who always tried to protect you. She was the one who had first taught you to fight, after all, the one who taught you what the definition of strength itself was. She would never try to stop you, not for as long as you allowed her to stay by your side — and you would never, ever deny her that, because you could not deny yourself her presence, because there was a time when she had been the only one you could call distinctly and wholly your own.

Shinjuku was nothing more than a mess of rubble and rocks strewn about at this point. Sukuna had shifted into his true form, and if you had had the time, then thinking about what that meant for Megumi would have driven you to tears anew. Yet it was like this: you could no longer think about Megumi. Not now, when he was beyond saving. Not now, when Gojo was dead. Not now, when you and Maki were about to make your own stand against the creature which had stolen so much from everyone you both loved.

“What now?” Maki said. “Do you have a plan?”

“Sort of. You have to stay back,” you said. “I’m pretty sure he still won’t do anything to me, but he doesn’t have the same misgivings about killing you, so only come if it seems like I really am about to die.”

“What if I’m not fast enough?” she said.

“You will be,” you said. “There’s not a soul alive that’s faster than you, but anyways, it won’t come to that, so don’t engage him in battle until I’ve made my move and sufficiently weakened him. Once I’ve done that, you can come help me.”

Sukuna noticed you almost immediately, and then he was batting away Itadori and the others, his entire inhuman body’s hatred concentrated solely on you, as it always was, as it always would be. You thought in the back of your mind that you should’ve felt afraid at that moment, but you couldn’t bring yourself to be anything but resigned. This was an inevitable eventuality. Perhaps you had delayed it by choosing to heal, but in the end, there was no surprise that it was you two. The King of Curses. The girl named after the woman who sealed him. In truth, the ending of this story had been written a long time ago.

“Y/N L/N,” he said, his tone the same as always, seething and loveless and loathing. Maybe this was how your name should always be said. Y/N L/N, the horrible girl who fought when she should’ve healed and healed when she should’ve fought, the one who could not help a single person she cared about. Maybe Sukuna had it right after all.

“Sukuna,” you said. “You killed Gojo.”

He laughed. “Yes, I did.”

“And Tullia,” you added.

“Correct,” he said.

“And — and Megumi,” you said, half-hoping he would refute this. But he dashed your hopes as soon as they blossomed, humming in agreement.

“Indeed, that is the case,” he said. “All of those people are gone. You loved each and every one of them, and now they are all dead at my hand. I killed them, and it brought me the greatest pleasure and most immense joy to do so.”

“Why?” you said. “Why am I still alive when they’re not? Why do you torture me like this? What have I ever done to you?”

“Nothing,” he said. “You have never done anything. But I need you for my own purposes, and I despise you for that reason. I despise you because you, insignificant and irritating as you are, are so important to me.”

“How?” you said. “I don’t understand it. What can I even do for you? I’m not Megumi. I don’t have a technique that will allow you to defeat some great foe, and you don’t need a body from me anymore, not now that you have regained your true form. So why do you want me?”

“You don’t have to understand,” he said. “My reasons are mine alone. I don’t owe an explanation to a bitch of a girl who’s closer to being vermin than anything.

He would never tell you, you realized. You would never get to know what he desired from you, because in his eyes, you would never be his equal. Not like Gojo was. You weren’t powerful like the others, either, so you couldn’t demand he speak; thus, you had to make peace with the uncertainty and continue onwards. Because even though there wasn’t much you could do at this point, not anymore, you no longer despaired. You just used the only thing you had left, something which had been there for you from the start and was now there for you in the end.

It was the same as the first time, all of the way back on that balcony during the party which Gojo had rescued you from. Then, just as now, an inappropriate giddiness had filled you as you finally did what your blood had always sang for. For the last time, you made that figurative leap, knowing that you would invariably crash but cherishing the instant of free-fall that came before the impact, the one which you always had longed for so greatly in your youth.

“Dissection,” you said, the word falling from your lips so easily, so familiarly, hanging in the air for a moment as you activated your cursed technique for the first time since Shibuya.

Sukuna cackled at you. “Foolish girl! Do you really think that that’s enough to face me, when even the infamous Limitless technique of the Gojo clan was not? Use your ridiculous, pointless technique all you want, for it’ll do you no good. After all, how does it matter that you can see my weaknesses when I have none?”

He wasn’t incorrect, in one sense. There were no spots illuminated by Dissection on his body. He truly seemed to be invulnerable, but you knew better. You saw what he could not, because Dissection was your technique. You didn’t have to be the strongest to win this fight. You just had to be strong enough to do what you had to.

“You’re wrong,” you said.

“You presume to say that?” he said. “You are the one who’s wrong, Y/N L/N. There’s not a point on my body that you could strike to kill me.”

“You’re right,” you said, raising one of Gojo’s needles, admiring the peculiar crimson shade of the metal as the setting sun hit them. Sukuna’s eyes widened as he figured out that you had caught on, that you had finally perceived why he would not, could not kill you, and then he was crying out in alarm, extending his four arms towards you, but it was all in vain. He would not reach you in time. No one ever could. “There’s not. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have any faults. Actually, you do have one, and this time, unlike every other, that’s enough.”

“Stop!” he shouted, activating his technique, though he was much too late to do anything but watch you with the horror of a person who was finally, after a thousand years, staring defeat in the face.

“You have taken everything from me,” you said. “So in exchange, I’ll do the same. I will no longer live for you, Sukuna.”

And with that, you drove the needle into the soft white glow centered over his singular weakness: your own heart.

#yuuta x reader #yuuta x y/n #yuuta x you #reader insert #canon au #pomegranate ink #m1ckeyb3rry writes

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deanbrainrotwritings · 1 year ago

Text

— OFF MY MIND

SUMMARY : jake has been too distracted from school due to sudden visions and nightmares. he somehow finds himself a tutor to help him through the semester.

PAIRING : jake gray x reader

CHARACTERS : dakota, miguel (oc), sebastian (oc)

WARNINGS/TAGS : nsfw (18+), smut, swearing, slight dom/sub dynamics, oral sex (f. receiving), fingering, toxic relationships, jealousy

WORD COUNT : 4.4K

A/N : title from song by radio company. idek if anyone cares about jake but I wrote this hahaha. ngl that sex scene in devour was unexpected. x

“Hey, you ready, Jake?” Y/N asked him from where she stood at his doorway and he nodded, holding the door open for her. She smiled at him, kind and polite, looking inside his room to check that it was empty. His roommate was out at a party while he was stuck in his room, forced to study.

She walked in when he moved out of the way, his eyes trailing up her bare legs. The black skirt she wore looked innocent, but his mind found a way to twist it into something more inappropriate. Studying with her as his tutor wasn’t always that bad, he always got to admire her and how effortlessly attractive she was. Of course, that only meant he’d have to stay tutored longer, until his grades went up, because his mind would rather daydream about all the ways he wanted to take her than on what she was trying to teach him.

“Here,” he murmured, pulling up a chair next to his by his desk as she dropped her backpack on the floor nearby. She hummed softly in response, he learned that it was her way of saying ‘thank you’.

They were barely 30 minutes into their studying, she was explaining to him why she did what she did that led her to the right answer. He was focused for about ten minutes before the pout of her lips started to distract them every time she spoke. She’d bite her lip and tilt her head to make sure he understood what she was saying and then she’d shift around, her legs brushing against his. Even over his jeans his skin felt electrified by hers, but unlike him, she didn’t seem affected by the way she was brushing against him.

For the next few minutes his mind wandered to his calculus professor and how she seemed to care enough about him and his grades to ask Y/N to help him out and tutor him. Y/N was good at teaching and she was patient, she could explain things in different ways until she found a way that he understood.

She was much more relaxing to be around than she appeared.

Jake believed that Y/N was aware of Dakota’s feelings towards her, but she didn’t say or do anything about Dakota’s cruel words. It was almost like Dakota suddenly became a ghost as Y/N focused only on him, unintimidated and uninterested in whatever drama Dakota was trying to start up. In many ways, that was worse than Y/N actually responding with harsh words.

“Are you already exhausted?” Y/N asked curiously, she was looking at him now and he blinked at her. He shook his head, trying to act casual as he tried to solve the problem with no idea what to do next. “Maybe you should stop having sex fantasies when I’m trying to teach you,” she said suddenly. He felt his face become red, he stared at the paper with wide eyes and then looked over at her, swallowing the lump in his throat.

“I…” he didn’t know what to say. He should’ve known that she would be able to read him. He should’ve just sucked it up for the hour and a half that she was trying to teach him. She blinked at him and smirked, standing up while staring down at him the whole time. His lips parted, still trying to find the words to defend himself.

“If I have sex with you, will you finally listen to me teach you?” She asked, her cheeks were pink despite the confidence in her words. His breath hitched and he blushed too. His eyes trailed down to where her hands were now reaching under her skirt to watch her pull down her panties. They were black and looked soft as she dragged them down her legs. She put them on the desk casually and then stared at him, silently asking for his permission to continue.

“Please,” he whispered, his cock already starting to get hard and she hasn’t even touched him yet. She smiled with a hint of amusement as she removed the black coat she was wearing over her white dress shirt and he began to fumble with his jeans, pulling them down and kicking them off after toeing his shoes off. She unbuttoned her shirt, throwing it on his bed and watched him get up to pull his own shirt off. “This doesn’t count for the hour we have left, right?” He asked quietly. It drew a chuckle from her when she began removing her bra.

“I’ll finish the hour after this so you can keep admiring me instead of doing your work,” she teased, stepping forward to wrap her hand around his cock. He moaned quietly, shaking his head at her words with a small smile. He stared at her face shyly, taking in the way she raised one brow at him, experimentally swiping her thumb over the head of his cock. He looked down at her hand—her soft and somewhat cold hand—as it jerked him off, unable to wrap her hand fully around the width of his cock.

“Don’t tease me,” he moaned, grasping her hips. He tugged her skirt down, leaving her as naked as him. She let go of his cock and stepped backwards, falling onto his bed as she kicked her shoes off, leaving her only in white ankle sock. He followed her into his bed moving between her parted legs while on his knees.

His heart was pounding in his chest, his body felt hot and slowly started blushing with each rapid heartbeat, and all he wanted to do was stare at her beauty as she spread her legs wordlessly signalling him to come closer. He put his hands on her bent knees, lowered himself down to face her glistening pussy, satisfied with the sight that confirmed that he was affecting her as much as she was affecting him.

“You said no teasing,” she reminded him, watching his eyes flicker up to stare directly at her from between her legs. He rolled his eyes at her, defiantly sticking his tongue out to lick up from her entrance to her clit and she gasped, squirming from the new sensation of his wet tongue in a place where no one else had been before.

He’d never done something like this before either. He lost his virginity to Dakota, they stuck to quickies or random one-nights stands where she’d be gone before he was up in the morning. It was meaningless and the feeling of pleasure was fleeting. It felt good at first, but eventually the sex left him feeling used when he deeply cared for Dakota and wanted to be her friend.

The taste of Y/N’s pussy made his mouth water, she felt warm and smooth against his mouth, and he flicked his tongue against her clit a few times, encouraged by feeling her jolt and grab onto his short hair. He didn’t want to make a fool out of himself so he dragged his mouth upwards, slowly kissing her stomach and her breasts. She moved her hands away from his hair and relaxed on his shoulders.

He inspected her as he pinched her nipples, then replaced his fingers with his tongue and teeth, gently pulling and nipping at her flesh to see what she liked. He listened to her breaths, watched her squirm and enjoyed the way she touched him everywhere—her hands wandering wherever she could reach. Her skin was as flushed as his, he could feel the heat on his cheeks and his ears, his blood rushing everywhere, aided by the swift beat of his heart as he took in the sight of her beneath him. She was enjoying herself, clearly more than okay about not being touched between her legs.

He moved away from her chest to her neck, kissing her gently along the delicate tendons, drawing a little laugh from her when his breath tickled her. He smiled against her skin at the sound, trailing his lips up to her jaw, and then stared at her lips before deciding to not kiss her. She opened her eyes to look at him questioningly, wondering why he stopped.

“Is everything okay?” He asked, staring down at her. Her brows furrowed a little in confusion because she was going to ask him that.

“Yeah, why?” He only shrugged at her question, not wanting to admit that maybe she had changed her mind about him halfway. She was gorgeous, smart, and kind, but he was a freak, sometimes pretty dumb, and probably only had his looks going for him. He had considered that maybe he was shallow, like a duck pond, while she was the entire ocean. He didn’t know she didn’t think that.

He grabbed her hips gently. It made her smile when she realised he wanted to position her more comfortably on his bed. She shifted around on the bed until her head sank into his soft pillows and he hoped the flowery scent of her hair would stick to his pillow forever. He crawled between her legs, his fingers gently trailing up inside her thighs and she bit her lip, obediently keeping her hands on her stomach, letting him tease her and explore her. His previously needy and greedy behaviour had disappeared from him the moment he tasted her on his tongue. He wanted to take her in every way he could.

His fingers circling around her soaking entrance, he saw her lips part and heard her exhale as she drummed her fingers against her stomach, patiently waiting for him to get to his destination. Even he breathed out shakily at the feeling of her wetness, a little moan following it like her body was the Pied Piper, drawing out sounds from him even though she wasn’t touching him.

She was practically quiet, save for the way she breathed every now and then, uneven and heavy. Even when he brought his fingers to her clit, she just panted as he drew quick circles. She stared at him, eyes glassy and dazed, the only reassurance he had that she was definitely enjoying herself. She was already slippery, but he reached back to her entrance, gathering more of her slick with a little groan.

He removed his fingers, curious and clueless about what he was doing, and she closed her eyes. Only then, he realised her hands were on her thighs, relaxing when she had been digging her black fingernails into them as he played with her clit.

It was almost like she knew he was experimenting.

He moved his hand away from between her legs to wrap a hand around his cock and she dragged her own fingers down between her legs. Her slim fingers circled around her entrance and then she pushed her middle finger into herself, gently pumping it in and out. Her eyes were glued to his entranced face the entire time, and she carefully pushed a second finger into her, trying to prepare herself for the width of his cock that would surely be somewhat more uncomfortable than two or even three of her fingers.

“Fuck,” he whispered. He always found her hands beautiful and distracting, now all he would be able to think about was her with her fingers pushed deep into her warmth, pushing in and pulling out, glistening with her arousal. When she added a third finger, she squirmed, shifting around a little, until her fingers slipped in and out easily.

“Come closer,” she murmured as she slipped her wet fingers out of herself. He obeyed, moving closer between her open legs, he lifted her thighs over his, moaning out pathetically as his cock slid through her folds. Her breath hitched when the head of his cock brushed over her clit and she hummed, amused by his reaction. He looked down at their bodies, his throbbing cock twitching and he was going to touch himself when she stopped him. “No, not yet,” she ordered.

“Why?” He whispered, holding her thighs to dig his fingers into her soft flesh the same way she had. He wanted to move, he wanted to feel some relief, but he listened to her, like always, he wasn’t in control.

“Because you look so cute when you’re desperate and horny,” she teased. He whined and unintentionally proved her point by still rolling his hips against hers, but she didn’t get upset by his disobedience. She ignored it and brought her semi-wet fingers to the head of his leaking cock, teasing and massaging, pressing it against her pelvis carelessly. She lifted her hips up, and he watched with another needy groan as she fucked herself up against his cock. She moved her hand to her breast, playing her nipple while he rested back on his hands watching with fascination as his cock slid through her wet folds, providing her pleasure.

“I’m gonna cum,” he moaned and just like that, she stopped. She was panting, laughing quietly, breathlessly as his eyes snapped open. She brought both her hands to her breasts, tugging at her hard nipples as she swirled her hips teasingly, causing his cock to twitch and throb. “Fuck, why, Y/N?” He whined quietly, staring down at the teasing look on her face.

“Because you don’t listen to me when I try to teach you,” she pouted, playfully gazing up at him. He blushed, his lips parting to argue. “Fuck me, Jake,” she said to him softly, “I wanna feel you stretch me out, and I’ll let you cum inside me if you promise to do something about your grades,” she added.

His breath hitched, but didn’t think twice about leaning over her and smashing his lips against her soft ones. He kissed her sloppily and passionately as the sudden bluntness of her words shot straight to his cock. He was embarrassed by the fact that he almost came just listening to her say that. His mind was unfocused and cloudy, filled only with thoughts of her, her voice, her body, just her. She finally held his jaw, her hands gentle and surprised, it took her a moment to kiss him back and she smiled deviously against his mouth.

“Are you gonna be good for me, Jake?” She asked when he pulled away. He nodded, wrapped his hand around his cock, twisting his hand to smear the arousal that lingered on the underside of his cock. “Say yes,” she told him, her voice steady, but teasing.

“Yes, I’ll be good for you, Y/N,” he conceded, his cock pressing into her entrance. For a virgin, she was extremely confident and she smirked to herself at that but kept the thought to herself, satisfied with his words. “I’ll do anything f... fuck, you feel amazing, baby,” he moaned, fully inside her now.

“How’s it feel, Jake?” She asked, her hands moving up his chest bringing his face down to kiss him gently. Just a small peck was placed on his lips, allowing him to speak and respond to her question. She just wanted to drive him crazy, he was sure of it.

“Like I’m not gonna last,” he joked, staring down between their bodies at her pussy as he pulled out almost all the way, then quickly thrusted back into her. She chuckled at his response, watching him become enthralled at the sight of his cock disappearing inside of her. “You’re so warm,” he murmured, watching her lift her hand to his mouth, the same one she used to finger herself and then to massage his cock.

He didn’t care at all and let her dip them between his lips, licking up the arousal that lingered there with wet swipes of his tongue, only for her to pull them out. She brought them to her clit, rubbing quick circles as she basked in the delicious sensation of his cock brushing against her walls.

“Is that okay?” He mumbled, wanting to make sure she was truly enjoying herself. She nodded, then spoke up, making sure to reassure him aloud.

“Of course. Yeah, you’re doing great,” she murmured breathlessly. “Kiss me, Jake,” she whispered, her walls clenching around him. He groaned softly at the feeling and leaned closer to her to press a messy kiss on her lips, his warm breath fanning over her mouth as he panted from his efforts.

“I’m gonna…” he whispered, and she nodded at him. She wrapped her legs around his waist, keeping his thrusts short and deep, with her hand trapped between their bodies, rubbing slowly as he throbbed inside her. She could feel how close he was, hear the way his breaths stuttered, the little groans that he let out against her lips.

“Cum for me, Jake,” she ordered quietly, her hands slipping up into his hair. She kissed him, her lips lingered on his momentarily before she tugged gently on the soft strands, forcing him to groan and look straight at her. She started to circle her clit faster, her walls fluttering around him with each jolt of pleasure until he was spilling inside her with a strangled moan. He whispered her name in surprise as he pushed himself deep inside her, and within seconds, she was cumming too.

He slowly started to thrust into her again, staying close to her body as she trembled, hearing her whisper a little ‘fuck’ when she finished. That’s when he stopped, when she removed her hand from her clit and then chuckled softly, her beautiful fucked out face staring at his with a mischievous grin that was layered over pleasure and surprise.

“Did that live up to the expectations of your sex fantasies?” She asked, then gently pushed him off of her. His lips parted for a moment, his stomach dropping when he was suddenly reminded of Dakota by the way Y/N acted so casually. She reached over to his desk, grabbed a few tissues and started to wipe herself clean of his cum. He didn’t answer as he watched her throw the tissues away, or when she grabbed her underwear and put them on, not even when she took his boxers from the floor and playfully threw them at him. “Now you’re not gonna answer me?” She teased, then she climbed onto the bed again, and straddled his waist, looking down at him with a raised brow.

“I…” he trailed off, his hands finding her hips, hoping she wouldn’t immediately put the rest of her clothes on and start to teach him whatever he hadn’t paid attention to. “Can I take you out on a date?” He whispered, blurting it out quietly. She laughed softly at him and he felt embarrassed for a moment.

“Sure,” she shrugged, then leaned over to kiss him on the lips, “as long as you can actually focus on what I say and not on how badly you wanna stick your dick inside me,” she teased. He rolled his eyes, sitting up with her in his lap, he only gazed at her, taking in her beauty. He was confused by her, he didn’t know what she was thinking or what she felt. She looked over at his desk with boredom and he looked over too, biting his lip. “Maybe today I’ll give you a break from all the maths we’ve been pretending to do, and we can just cuddle, for the rest of the hour,” she offered with a smirk.

“You’re not gonna shut up about it are you?” He asked with a laugh, then flipped her over onto her back, smiling when she giggled. His lips latched onto her breasts, his teeth harshly tugging at her nipples and she bit her lip, still looking confident and pleased with herself.

“Not at all, you’re just so easy to tease,” she told him, holding his face as she brought him up to her mouth. He smiled down at her, even when she teasingly rubbed herself up on his sensitive cock, she remained arrogant.

“I really like you,” he murmured, kissing her lips. He trailed his lips across her jaw, then playfully licked up her neck and sucked a little mark at her pulse. She whined and he moved back up to her mouth, like always, she controlled the kiss, sucked his bottom lip into her mouth and then scraped her teeth over it gently. “You’re such a fucking tease,” he moaned, she smirked.

“I know, I’m gonna have so much fun,” she told him with a grin. He dropped onto his back next to her, shifting around to lay on his side, his fingers ghosting over her warm skin. She turned onto her side too, gazing up at him before throwing her legs over his hip and entwining their legs together with her face in his neck. “I like you too,” she admitted quietly, and he smiled, playing with the hem of her panties, he grabbed her ass and squeezed the flesh, making her squirm and laugh. Her hand found his wrist and she moved it up to her waist.

Her phone buzzed on his desk and she groaned, getting out of his arms exhaustedly. He watched her get up once more to check it, then cursed softly under her breath. “My friends are here to walk me to my dorm,” she murmured, responding to them.

“You’re gonna leave?” He asked, sitting up on the bed. She hummed softly and dropped her phone on his desk. She walked between his legs and held his face, kissing him deeply, her tongue pushing into his warm mouth, drawing out a moan from him. She pulled away and took his hand, shoving it into her panties, she guided him to tease her clit, and smiled down at him reassuringly.

“Maybe you should stop by my room and you can stay there as long as you like tomorrow,” she murmured, his fingers moved down to her entrance and pushed into her, warm and wet from the remains of his cum. He took her nipple into his mouth, with his free hand he shoved her panties down to her knees and then pulled away to watch himself finger her.

“Jake! I’m so—” The door burst open, revealing Dakota, drunk and crying pathetically, like always. She stopped and looked at them, a bottle of vodka in her hand while the other held the door so she could balance herself. Jake had his hand frozen between Y/N’s thighs and Y/N had her hands on his shoulders to stabilise herself.

“Hi, Dakota,” Y/N muttered, then she turned to look at Jake, grabbed his wrist to move his fingers out of her and pulled her panties up casually. Jake was in shock and embarrassed to have been caught, but Y/N remained calm, even her irritation wasn’t showing. Y/N didn’t rush or go too slow when she put her clothes back on, she gave Jake a chaste kiss on the lips and he quickly put his jeans back on and a shirt, scrambling to follow her out just a bit, careless about the arousal that covered his fingers.

“Wait,” he whispered, stopping Y/N as she stood by the door.

“It’s fine,” she reassured him, ignoring Dakota as she plopped down on Jake’s desk chair. “She’s drunk and clearly needs some company,” she reasoned with Jake, looking at Dakota with a mix of pity and annoyance. He kissed her roughly, claiming her mouth with more passion than he displayed the whole night.

“I.. see you tomorrow, Jake,” she murmured breathlessly with a blush.

She walked down the hall and stairs, away from him and his drunk friend to get to her own. Sebastian quickly settled into the party mood, drinking orange juice vodka from a red cup he smiled flirtatiously at a cute girl and Miguel looked uncomfortable, staring at the stairs as Y/N walked down, watching her attempt to fix her hair into a ponytail to not reveal her sex hair. “Hello, boys,” she greeted over the loud music. Sebastian downed the rest of his drink and threw it carelessly into a pile of plastic cups in the corner and led them out to the cold night air.

“Learn anything new?” Miguel asked with a smirk, lifting a brow at the light mark on her neck. Sebastian looked over at her and he chuckled, watching her act like she always did, casual and lazy.

“Just that I might be a terrible tutor,” she chuckled.

Back in his room, Jake sighed as he put his attention on Dakota, watching her drink from the bottle with dried tears staining her painted face. He gave her a little smile and moved his work from his desk quietly.

“You almost fucked her,” Dakota slurred, faking to be proud of him, “bet she was all… tight,” she added bitterly.

“I did.. make love to her,” Jake laid out carefully, she scoffed. He was quiet for a moment, then looked out his window and saw her walking across the grass with one tall guy and a shorter guy, Sebastian and Miguel, on either side of her. He felt a little jealous as Sebastian looked down at her. She had her arms crossed over her chest, obviously from the cold because he removed his jacket and put it over her shoulders, she smiled at him, and held it tighter around her body, hearing the very distant laughter of the two guys. “She’s really amazing. We’re gonna go out on a date-”

“Right, so, you fucked her once and now you expect her to like you,” she sneered, shaking her head. She put the bottle on his desk and walked towards him on the bed, her hands balanced her on his shoulders like Y/N had done moments ago, and she straddled him, her black miniskirt riding up her thighs. “Come on, you don’t think she actually likes you just because she let you hit it, right?” He didn’t respond, her words filling his mind with doubts that he knew came from her insecurities.

“She’s not like that,” he whispered, grunting in surprise when Dakota grinding against his cock and then went to kiss him. He turned his face, her sloppy lips landing on his jaw and kissing down his neck. He pushed her away and shoved her into his bed, and she scoffed, looking up at him with indignation. “Just go to sleep, you’re drunk,” he told her, getting up, he looked around his room, overwhelmed.

“You're acting like we haven’t fucked when we were both drunk,” she rolled her eyes at him.

“I’m gonna go clean myself up, just sleep or go back to your room,” he shook his head, took some new clothes and left her disappointed and embarrassed on his bed.

➥ one foot in the grave

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#jake gray x reader #jake gray #devour #5.1 #Jake gray smut #jensen ackles #jensen ackles smut

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feuqueerfire · 5 months ago

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Unknown Live Blogging

I loveeeeee a younger pursuer character, especially when they've known each other for a while and the older is just like I love you kid (platonic/familial) while the younger is losing their mind with their crush/love/lust. Also, the fact that the novel it's adapted from is literally called Da Ge 大哥 ah, I've gotten more into adoptive or step-brothers trope since I got into live-action BL but I've only just watched Addicted/Stay With Me and Kiseki: Dear to Me 2nd couple, so it's exciting to add another one to the list.

This is also a novel from China that's being adapted in Taiwan so that they don't have to censor it, right? There are several other BLs currently in the works like this.

Anyway, seems like people really like this show (not counting the sex scene in ep 11 or something because I heard so much complaining about that lol), so my hopes are high.

Ep 1 (June 13)

ahhh crazy start/glimpse into future

starts when they're young but have been living together a while already

ahhhh trying to take care of things/the family/his ge by paying the bills using his gift money + some part time job maybe. isn't quite a grownup yet but he wants to be so bad

2007 - when they first met

oh fuck the child being hit with the metal pipe was scary and unexpected

oh man, Qian getting embroiled with gangs and doing their dirty work for money

oof, gonna have to win 3 boxing matches to leave the gang

Ep 2 (June 13)

the teacher saying an older brother is like a father

not them ganging up on Xiao Bao!

dang, Qian's mother hated him because he did well, that's wild

Qian is so attractive like woah

we've reached current year - 2016

Ep 3 (June 13)

Yuan to the rescue

Bao and Yuan's dynamic is so cuteee

damn, Qian mad as hell at Xiao Bao's outfit and it has a bit of the "proprietary" thing that so many father-daughter older brother-younger sister dynamics have (in media at least) but also most importantly it reminds him of their mother who they are both very traumatized by

I'm so nervous, I hope nothing bad happens to Xiao Bao (esp because we know this world has like gangsters and stuff)

Is this guy part of the gangsters? Does he know who Xiao Bao is?

Yuan recognizes the gangster oh no

Sam Lin as doctor, though I must say I would not recognize him if I wasn't already aware of this

sharing a bed

studying abroad mentioned

I don't wanna read thoughts of r/boyslove or look for gifsets on tumblr, I just wanna get to the next episode.

It feels like since they both scold/get upset at Xiao Bao in an attempt to protect her, she's not gonna retain any of the reasons they're worried about her but rather maybe rebel and end up in troublesome situations. please no rape storyline though plsplspls

Ep 4 (June 14)

Yuan's 18th birthday? adult Yuan alright

pls Qian thinking that Xiao Bao's saying Yuan watches porn

it's romantic stuff but is it yaoi/BL? because the one Sweet Summer or whatever novel seemed to be two guys on the cover?

Qian kinda reminds me of Na Jaemin (my NCT bias when I was into them) from some angles

I will forever love helping something with feet, whether it be shoelace tying, giving a massage/a foot bath, or now taking care of an ankle/foot injury. it's not even a foot kink, it's just... idek like lowering oneself... in aid of the other... taking care of them...

Yuan definitely doesn't wanna hear about them seperating and liking other people

this kiss must be in Yuan's imagination

so I guess Qian doesn't suspect Yuan's feelings toward him at all + also doesn't return the feelings (yet + he might be unconsciously feeling something but it's not as intense as Yuan's feelings). However, I'm unclear on whether he thinks Yuan likes boys? Like he saw Yuan's romance novel with 2 boys + asking about the high school class monitor...

Ep 5 (June 14)

I knew this was a daydream because of the dreamy filter + I kinda remember some post on reddit about Yuan's daydream but if I was watching this in real time, I would've lost my shit

oh oh my god okay. "Ge, do you already know that I like guys?" extremely forward and sudden, I wasn't expecting it

ahhh, I can't watch this, it's so T.T. like ik it's very Uncle Jim to Liming, looking out for their young(er) nephew/brother because being gay openly isn't easy but like T.T still

What year is this? 2016 right? while gay marriage became legal in Taiwan in 2019

I love a "it's my business who i like, not yours" or whatever

ah, Qian's nice to Yuan again, he likes gives him a little lecture but isn't like actually homophobic

Xiao Bao turns 18 too

damn, what's up with Qian? head hurts?

pls the colleague (is that San Pang? yeah right?) running into Qian's room to see him and Yuan in bed sleeping and cuddling and being like... hm

pls Qian himself being like "it's not what it looks like" before the other guy even says what it looks like

QIAN WHY ARE YOU TELLING HIM THAT YUAN LIKES GUYS?!

omg San Pang now coming over to talk to Yuan

pls I know why he's asking but the way he's talking about where Xiao Bao sleeps and where he sleeps like hey ! stop

that's her literal brother and they have no parents, I think it's fine if Xiao Bao climbs into her Dage's bed to sleep occasionally lmfao

oh I guess he was talking about Xiao Bao sleeping in Yuan's bed. whelp he'd have a point in that case I guess becuase Yuan def can like these siblings lol he just happens to not like the sister

pls Xiao Bao wants San Pang to ask about her, so whenever he talks about Yuan and Qian the way her eyes roll so hard that her whole head rotates, so funny

not the office fujos Noticing and Observing lol

ahh, Yuan's inner turmoil seeing his "future sister-in-law"

ah, San Pang straight up asking if the one Yuan likes is Qian

I just wanna know when the confession is gonna happen, is it gonna be next ep? because Yuan also has to go abroad (though I don't think that time skip takes too much airtime from what I've read). I want some stuff to happen after confession + after getting together too.

Ep 6 (June 14)

I wonder what role San Pang will play like will he help them figure it out or hinder all the way through? they're kinda hinting him with Lili, so he can't possibly be a "bad guy." I get him dissuading them now or giving them reasons why they shouldn't but once they do, I assume he'll be okay with it at least

"Don't tell me that guy also has some?" oh Qian

Qian feeling pity for Yuan and being like why do you have to like him... oh Qian, oh Yuan

aklsdfjalksdf ahhh Yuan about to me a drunken mess at this important work function plssss I'm nervous. but also... does the confession happen when Yuan's drunk? Is it gonna happen this ep?

Feng Ning is so cool I love her. if Yuan does anything that upsets her I'll get mad at him im negl

oh omg I have an image in my mind of when Yuan confesses maybe and it was not in this outfit and they were also maybe sitting, so the i like you and attempted kiss was like oh!

It also stressed me out that they're still at work

woahhh it hurts so good the way Qian not only punched Yuan but also didn't stop to care for his wounded hand

ahhh Qian avoiding Yuan and the home entirely

studying abroad plan on

Aw, Xiao Bao who is like ? wtf is going on, why are my brothers fighting and also Yuan literally going to NY

is that Yuan sitting on the floor with his paper on his face and crying? yes, same sweater stripes

The angst is done well. The situation must happen (I was anticipating the fallout from the confession so much!), it's not overdramatized (Qian reacts badly but then just avoids Yuan for the rest and Yuan tries to apologize a bunch but doesn't force anything when Qian ignores him), the acting-writing-directing are all good. I'm also liking the consequence of him moving away to a different country (for a few years?) because he's known Qian all his life and practically only talks to Qian, Lili, and sometimes people like San Pang or a classmate but he'll broaden his horizons now and it'll be less "he loves Qian because he only knows him"

Ep 7 (June 14)

damn, Qian's apparently been so apathetic that San Pang's like maybe I shouldn't made Yuan stay so that at least you wouldn't be like this

Qian's alcohol problem + his chronic headache bruh

San Pang straight up asking if Qian has feelings for Yuan too and Qian does not deny it

also it's been 2 years right? since it's 2018 now and 2017-2018 were blank for Yuan's height

Qian is truly so attractive. his face but also his mannerisms and expressions and gestures. woah. and of course my forever weakness: nice smile and there's a dimple too

2017 - 2023?! omg 6 years? that's a lot, I was expected 2-3 fr

Qian continues reading Yuan's texts but not replying to them. then impulsively calling Yuan and immediately hanging up again

first reciprocal contact in 6 years, if I was Yuan that call would've made me lose my whole entire mind fr

Bro, it's actally Qian who's losing his mind because he's sitting on Yuan's bed in Yuan's room and texting Yuan to come home if he misses it

Xiao Bao has truly become grown up model Lili

San Pang is at the office gathering, so who did she see at the door? would Yuan already be at home lmfao

ah, indeed Yuan's here lol

Yuan and Lili antics begin again, how fun

From a few Tumblr posts, I thought Lil iand San Pang's relationship was gonna get exposed? next ep i guess.

also saw some gifs that Yuan's gonna be petty toward Qian next ep and I'm so excited, how did people wait weekly for this? I can barely wait for tomorrow.

Ep 8 (June 15)

starting this around 7:30pm because I had to watch Wandee Goodday episode today. Hope I like this episode than I liked Wandee's

ah, Yuan's so bold now "Have you seen enough?"

The fact that Yuan made eye contact with Qian before handing the drink over to Xiong-ge. Qian expectantly holding out his hand but having to retreat and check afterwards that nobody else saw lmfao

It's killing me that Yuan keeps looking at the other two ges during the conversation while Qian keeps glancing at Yuan and can't keep his eyes off of him even when he tries

Yuan even thanking San Pang for making him go to the states...

the hickeys?!

Qian's incredulous look at 8:00 is really so Na Jaemin, why does he remind me so much of him

I would say Qian's slow for not catching on that they're together somehow but ig San Pang and Lili are LDR since she doesn't even live here anymore? and so Qian's not aware of it? but it's also funny to think his brain was barely working while Yuan wasn't here but managed to deduce it by glimpsing the hickeys as soon as Yuan came and Qian's brain started working again lmao

damn, Lili's literally shaking her head no, how dare San Pang make the executive decision to confess to Qian?

NOT THE BUTCHER KNIFE LMFAO

Yuan literally sitting back and eating fruits on the couch as he observes is so funny

and his smiles lmfaooo

and only inserting himself when Xiong-ge brings up Qian dating somebody else lmfao he's a menace

Yuan calling Qian as Wei Qian instead of ge is so .

Qian's mad because the two of them are dating and there's an age difference and San Pang's known Lili since she was a child and he figured it out through hickeys and he's the last to know and all those reasons but also... he's probably also mad that why isn't he with Yuan then? If those two can do it, why not him too?

Yuan knowssssss he's getting to Qian

I've seen a glimpse of a gif of Yuan feeding Qian ahh

and now that Yuan's indeed giving him his full attention at the table, Qian can't look at him

Qian's losing his mind and I along with him

Yuan's so bold now, it makes me nervous like chilllllll, move back like the way he kept walking toward Qian and nearly kissed him alksdfjla;ksfj

Yuan is suchhh a menace, the way he starting speaking loud and clear when he heard Qian at the door

my mom dragged me away right then but I'm back

plss he's talking about how he also likes somebody and both Xiao Bao and Ge know that person. lmfao. menace.

Xiao Bao reading from a script lmfaooo

Yuan truly is such a menace, sliding the family vacation into Lili's script pls

cryingggg Xiao Bao ditched the family trip to go to Milan

Yuan kept poking until Qian finally says to not keep feelings for him anymore, only to hit him back with "what makes you think i still like you?"

Yuan saying Wei Qian really does me in. "Wei Qian, don't you like Wei Zhiyuan?" was woah

agh, A'Le and gangsters next ep. hmph

I've been curious to see which other age gap older male/younger female ships I like because they usually give me major ick but I'm such a fan of age gap ships in m/m-f/f-noona romances. I think History 3: Trapped side side ship with the sister and bulter man is the only one I can think of and they barely existed lol. So I want to like San Pang and Lili, especially when she said she's the one who pursued him (I'm into that trope a lot too; like Yuan's also the younger one pursing the older one) but I wish San Pang wasn't a hypocrite/homophobe because if he's into Lili and has no problems getting with her but so disapproved and dissuaded Yuan, like the reason is homophobia yes? I wanted him to come to The Realization that Yuan liking Qian is... fine-ish when he developed feelings for Lili, not have him separate the two situations.

Ep 9 (June 15)

so many things to do but I'm watching this instead, goddammit. but been a little while since i've been so eager to binge and watch next ep (Kiseki and Triage last month I think)

Also, I saw a post that had a clip from the trailer that hasn't happened yet or something and I didn't watch it but there was text about how Qian looks Yuan in the eye when he confesses... omg now I'm so excited to see when that happens. I hadn't been thinking about how they'd actually come together but a confession must happen and I'd be very happy if Qian's the one who does it this time, even more so if he's very tortured about it

oh, abroad was 4 years ago? not 6

I like Yuan's whole spiel about I can't stop liking you but this is enough

Yuan calling Qian out on his bullshit, he can't kick Yuan out again

Qian can tell when Yuan's lying/hiding something

hmm they're calling Qian the snitch and the cops came back then... I feel like Qian didn't do it since he himself was involved

when's that napkin with the poem from?

what is the plan exactly? Lin's telling Yuan to remember that Qian cares about him...

damn, Yuan left for a trip with very short notice?

"You're acting like a wife trying to catch her cheating husband" read the room, San Pang. you can't tell this to Qian who is trying to not be in love with his didi

Dr. Lin so funny. also did We Best Love have eating raw noodles? I feel like it did...

Wei Zhiyuan means "belongs to Wei"

no but what was Yuan plan actually because mans just went to their lair, asked for Le-ge and now is just getting beat up lmfao

scary, Le-ge's got bullets

please why are we doing Russian Roulette rn T.T

Can't have a bullet in there if he's doing it on himself, right? I didn't see how many bullets he put in there. or is he just fucked up in the head enough to do it anyway lol

Qian hugging Yuan in desperation

omg that napkin was literally what Yuan wrote as he thought they were his last words stuck on a mountain during his study abroad. and Qian was avoiding speaking to him during that time godddd, what a tragedy it would have been

and it's a good time to reveal that since they just did the russian roulette for e/o

I don't wanna read ppls thoughts or look at gifsets, I wanna just watch the next episode omg but I won't look at anything after ep 10 until I finish the whole thing since ep 11-12 spoilers will also be there, so I should look at stuff now.

Ep 10 (June 16)

Qian remembering everything Yuan's said and done

nose bleed...

parallels w the hair drying and cuddling to sleep, it'd be funny if san pang woke them up again

does Qian think he'll die

lmaoooooo San Pangcame but unfortunaly Qian was aklready downstairs

i knew bout this blood clot

not the i wish i could tie you up with a rope

Idk how Qian thinks he could possibly hide this from Yuan lol I'm surprised he hadn't just listened in or bothered Lin about the info

the three of them just exchanging eye contact and the focus from San Pang -> Qian with a zoom! sound effect was very funny

Yuan is so funny to San Pang lmfao he keeps being like San Pang ge thank you <3 to the point of uncomfortableness

welp indeed Yuan figured it out on his own

ah, Yuan's mad that Qian hid it from him and keeps saying he'll deal with it on its own

Qian made all of Yuan's favourites to try to win him over askdf but Yuan's still mad

Yuan taking a brief break from ignoring Qian's existence to take away greasy food/beer and give him and San Pang salad instead

San Pang once again telling Qian to consider Yuan and getting with him seriously

Did he not that he wants Yuan to have a future without him?

I think I got a little lost about what exactly led to Yuan storming out but ahhh that convo, fuck. Qian's turmoil and inner conflict and Yuan being like it's mind to deal with, not yours but Qian not being able to let Yuan go.

Ep 11 (June 16/17)

I wanna binge these last 3 eps but it's Eid so I'm busy and gotta watch the rest later. I'm really excited for this ep since it's gonna have the confession and also the sex scene but I know it made everybody fucking mad because of the editing (they had flashbacks to them as kids?) + position top/bottom implications/confusions lmfaoo

The first time Qian took initiative to grab Yuan omg

wait, we're already going into the house okay

I need a pillow or stuffed animal to dig my nails into rn omg i keep grabbing air

what was the more correct translation of "I've been waiting all my life. This isn't fast at all." that made me lose my mind when I saw it and I hadn't even been watching the show back then

"You don't even know what I dream about you at night" hah. hahahah. haha. ok

hello why are we having flashbacks to a conversation from 5 minutes in between the sex scene instead of just... being linear??? I didn't know this happened bc it got drowned out w the other complaints ig lmao

yeah, interspliced scenes we haven't seen before + flashbacks of scenes we've seen during a sex scene are already annoying but then WHY ARE THERE CHILDHOOD FLASHBACKS. this is not the time to have kids on my damn screen wtf

also I just kinda took top Yuan from that, is it top Qian in the novel or something because I feel like people mentioned that it seemed one way but it wasn't supposed to be that way? or is it because the scene where Yuan had his bare legs splayed that gave the illusion of bottom Yuan and people didn't like that? I'm so curious

domestic morning kissing, they've really come all the way here

Lili's home?!

a fight? girl lmao ig Lili's the normal sibling who's not guessing that her other siblings are fucking, biologically related or not

what is this Le/Lin scene lmao

fancy dinner date at the same gangster restaurant as always lol but apparently Qian's reserved the whole place and made it romantic

Enough angles for one kiss!

restaurant owner gang uncle just witnessing all this lmfao I think it'd be hilarious if he gossips with Le-ge about Qian and his brother kissing

fuck, this nerve and surgery stuff is so scary fr

Okay, finished the last 10 minutes while having lunch the next day because I had to leave yesterday. Good to see both Yuan and Lili care about Qian and want to take care of him and such. Qian took up smoking again in all this stress. I still don't fully get all the mom stuff beyond she thoroughly abused him.

The sex scene was like... what??? and I'm glad I was already aware of its issues because I would've gone beserk if I was watching this weekly for 10 weeks and got that in return wtf. The whole show relies on their emotions and inner conflicts but it felt like neither aspect was truly explored in the scene and made worsened with the horrific editing.

Also I can't fucking reblog but this is maybe the post I was talking about with the translation during the sex scene. Yuan's line implies he's masturbated thinking about Qian which is like the most unsurprising thing ever.

Ep 12 (June 17)

Final episode, hope it at least ends well

Lili figures it out. she's kinda upset that she's the last one to know about it, her lines remind me of when Qian found out about her and San Pang haha

but what does she wanna say, why am I nervous that she's pregnant

lol Qian liking that Yuan's trying to help him out at work

I'm suddenly embarrassed, I really can't do office romances

Xiong-ge showing support in his awkward ways is nice

hehhehe Yuan coming to pick Qian up from work dressed up so nice and Qian kissing him outside after checking nobody's around

I got stressed out by Yuan kissing Qian at work omg in broad daylight with people around

yeah the office fujo will certainly keep this a secret lol as if a bunch of them weren't already gossiping like 4 years ago or whatever

I can't handle office romances guys my body shrivels up and my toes and fingers curl, I'm so embarrassed. can the employees stop squealing about it in public. I'm so stressed out by office gossip even if it's like shippy/supportive. also the excited fujo character can sometimes work for me in high school/college shows because it's like young characters but this in an office is like. no. their family and friends can know but i don't need to see their coworkers finding out unless it's meant to be a point of conflict

how can you be discussing top-bottom dynamics of your boss with your colleagues!! and asking your other boss about it !!!! let's get serious I hate this, I should skip through

HOW CAN YOU ASK THIS TO YOUR FUCKING BOSS?!?!?!?!? HOW CAN THIS BE A POSSIBLE THING?!?!?! this show is generally so grounded, even in it's more out-there aspects, that this is like... what world are we in? so inappropriate and also like probably homophobic because you would not be asking this if Qian was dating a woman

are they insinuating Qian's the top/tiger? That does not go with what I want form this trope so I'm ignoring it lmfao I can do verse because I can almost always ship verse but with the younger-guy-deeply-in-love-with-and-madly-pursues-older-guy-who-is-resistant-and-conflicted trope, I like a younger top

but i think people were also annoyed about this suggestion of top Qian lmfao, I think I remember reading comments about it

ah, Lili is indeed pregnant

aw, hug before the questioning but it's like genuine, not from anger. Especially important for them because their mother was terrible and they don't want a child to go through that again obvs

pls San Pang's also here loll I think it's good the ways they were all in different rooms

the panic when Xiao Bao knelt and the 3 of them also scrambling to kneel, especially when Qian also knelt

aw, Qian really was their da-ge, father, and mother all in one

Qian's afraid Lili will follow in their mother's footsteps (pregnant then married young) and be unhappy

why is this so good T.T

I can't believe the messy sex scene from last ep and the utter bullshit that was the office scene in this ep made me forget for a bit how good this show can be

Damn, they're really saving the surgery thing for the very last few minutes. anyway ik he doesn't die because everything would've gone up in flames if that happened

omg how much timeskip, there's a whole baby now

The office discussion actually made me so uncomfortable, it was so inappropriate and unnecessary, why didn't we take that time to... just show at least a bit of the surgery and aftermath or whatever? Like that was such a huge thing in the past 2-3 eps but it just... disappears and we assume it was successful bc of the ending

Overall:

I'm so glad I got over my pseudo-incest brother-lover aversion because I can now watch this stuff in delight. Though I must say, my favourite aspect of this show is the little family trio with Qian, Yuan, and Lili, with San Pang occasionally invited as well. I loved how they cared for each other and how though Lili was left out of the romantic duo inside their trio, it didn't feel like she was forgotten or sidelined. They each had specific relationships with each of the other people, their interactions had their own flavours and it was so good.

The romance itself hm I think the development was nice, especially from Yuan's side since we saw how he thought of Qian and how he supported him and such. We also saw a bit of how Qian was so lost when Yuan was gone that even San Pang was wondering whether Qian liked Yuan and it would've been better if they hadn't sent him away. It just feels like since there was so much angst and build-up for like 10 episodes, their actual coming together should have been grander. The sex feels a bit sudden, I don't think it should've happened right after that conversation because Qian was barely ready to admit whether he saw Yuan as more romantically than just a brother, and then the editing of it all was terrible.

The surgery stuff also kinda dwindled, if they'd brought it up, I wished they would've at least shown the direct aftermath or whatever. I despised how we had the office Yuan/Qian gossip for so long in episode 12, we could've used it for better things. At least we ended with the Lili pregnancy announcement and coming together over that, which reminded me just at the end why I liked the show.

Some other things I really loved: 1) Qian's face, holy shit. Qian is so beautiful, like incredibly attractive to me, woah. Reminds me of Na Jaemin who I was also taken by when I stanned NCT; is it the lower half of their faces/their mouths? 2) The 2 scenes where Qian finds out Lili and San Pang are dating in ep 8 + finds out Lili's pregnant in ep 12 and just going to kill San Pang lol (also loved how Yuan was enjoying it in ep 8 but was helping San Pang and Lili out in ep 12 lol). 3) The episodes, especially the earlier-middle ones, were so addictive, I didn't end up reading the on-air reddit threads because I was too into watching the next ep instead of reading about it.

In the end, I don't think I'll think about it often, especially not the Yuan/Qian ship unless just to remember the brother-lover trope and even then, Kiseki's Chen Yi/Ai Di gave me more intense brainworms for a similar trope I think. I'm disappointed that I didn't love the show, its flaws are at moments that are too important. So deeply conflicted about whether to give 6 or 6.5, I'll go with 6.5 for now.

Rating: 6.5/10

#unknown #ep by ep commentary #unknown the series

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urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites · 7 months ago

Note

Hellooo! I literally refresh ur blog RELIGIOUSLY for content, lmao. Would love it if you could do a fandom ship for me

My Appearance

I’m a 5’7 dude with fluffy dark brown hair, but I dyed it strawberry blonde a little while ago- you can tell I’m a brunette since my roots have started showing again. My eyes are also dark brown, and I have a light tannish skin tone with a couple of moles here and there (I’m POC, for better reference) My favorite color is blue, so I’m always wearing different shades of it (navy, cerulean, baby blue, sky blue etc.) and my style is kinda e-boy/soft grunge

My Personality

I like to think that I’m a pretty chill guy. I mostly spend my time playing video games (Minecraft, Pokémon, Genshin and honkai star rail) and minding my own business. my grades are average since I’m too lazy to really study. I’m autistic and extremely socially anxious, so I tend to be non-verbal out in public and I never willingly go outside. That being said, I have a lot of online friends who I love chatting with, and I sorta have dark humor (NOT sexism or racism, I mean dark humor as in joking abt my mental health - which is shit, lmao). I’m also lowkey a nerd, so I love analyzing video game lore and making theories cuz Matpat lowkey raised me.

My Hobbies

As I mentioned previously, I’m obsessed with video games. However, I also like comic books and listening to music while I draw! I’m not a professional artist or anything, but I like to sketch and doodle my fav characters when I can. Idek if this counts as a hobby, but I also collect whatever coins, beer caps, paper clips or any general trinket I can find. One time I found this really tiny tennis racket on the floor at school (it’s plastic and barely the size of my thumb) and I’ve kept it in my purse ever since. Yes, I have a purse- they’re cute as hell

Uhhh, I think that’s it! Pls do the Outsiders or Slaughter fandom!! Ty

IM DOING BOTH BECUASE YOU COMPLIMENYED MEEEEEEE!!!! Ignore my spelling im gay ok

MATPAT RAISED ME TOO LETS BE FRIENDS ANON

Now to the ships:

The Outsiders: Ponyboy Curtis

Explanation: BCUZ I SAID SO/j You and Ponyboy both have special obsessions that you bond over. I think he really likes your style, the way you look, and how especially it contrasts to him. (He’s totally not jealous, yk what they say if you can’t be them be with them) You’re the most interesting person he’s met in the relatively boring town of Tulsa Oklahoma, and he thinks your style is tuff as hell. He would love watching Film Theory with you and doing his own mini analysis, and I think your less social personality would fit with him just perfectly, and he would make sure to respect all of your boundaries. He loves draw with you and listen to music with you, and he loves that you collect things, which is convenient for him because he can’t buy you super expensive gifts due to his low income household, but he can find you cool little knickknacks and such! He wears blue to match you a lot. Yall just chill and vibe together and we love it Yall are cute I ship it 💚

————————————————————

Texas Chainsaw Massacre:

Nubbins Sawyer

Explanation: I think you and Nubs are an amazing fit together!!! You both have artistic souls….. in much different ways and he has a purse just like you and also likes collecting little things and I think if he ever found anything cool while scavenging for roadkill he’d totally give it to you and you’d probably just have to be like Nubs… I don’t want a dead rat tail…. 💀 But anyway yall are so cute together, I think his more giddy/insane personality is a great constrast to your more shy/chill seeming one. He’s used to being judged for the way he is so I think he would understand you in a lot of ways- not to mention he LOVES your humor, because he has a pretty wacky dark sense of humor himself, and he’s also used to being judged for that too. He would definitely take lotsa pictures of you and then show them to victims. (And ask if you’re attractive and if they say no they get tortured for hours) He loves listening to your rants about your obsessions and in return you have to listen to hours of him ranting about cool roadkill he found that day or how he made a new trap better for catching victims! He also really likes your style despite not being that aware of fashion in general- You both have a way of understanding eachother like to one else. Ayway I love you both I ship it even though Nubs is my pookie

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comefeedtherainn · 1 year ago

Text

tagged by love of my life @saltsanford thank u bb

How many works do you have on AO3? 27

What’s your total AO3 word count?

608,101

What fandoms do you write for?

this varies bc i revisit old fandoms often, atm im deep in the untamed and also working on drafting a sleuth of ming dynasty, might try guardian if the mood strikes. i also have wips i'd like to return to for mass effect, rdr2, and bioshock

What are your top five fics by kudos?

your darkest roads - the untamed (1,417)

scars and scratches - the untamed (1,307)

break of dawn - mass effect (865)

it starts with a lighthouse - bioshock (385)

here's a truth - IT (233)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i used to, i stopped recently because i got busy with grad school and cant always find the spoons lol i try to at least respond to questions, concerns, and also if i finish a fic!!

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably a tie between sparks amidst snow and unseen, both very depressing character studies for the untamed. jin zixuan and lan xichen, respectively. you can understand where the angst came from lmao

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

hmmmm probably break of dawn?? i like to write happy-ish endings esp for long things, just to reward the reader for sticking around for a long fic lol. but break of dawn ended with john and kaidan getting married, leaving the military, and getting a dog. so. absolutely the best case scenario and very happy lmao

Do you get hate on fics?

honestly not really. i got some on mass effect ones but that was more character hate which i shut down hard, rather than hate on the fic lol i either dont write much that's controversial, or i sell it well enough no one bitches lmao

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

i do! most of my longfics feature smut, i enjoy it in my romance

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i do occasionally, though not as much recently. i despise fusions though lmfaooo

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

if i have im not aware! lmao

Have you ever had a fic translated?

sadly no :c

Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

i have not!! im a control fic idek if i'd like it if im honest lol

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

why would you ask me this. i have way too many favs but i do think tuckington of rvb and mshenko of mass effect will be with me foreverrrr

What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

i choose to believe i will finish all my WIPs, no matter how long it's been since i touched it!! if i start it i intend to finish.

What are your writing strengths?

dialogue and describing environments!! also plot.

What are your writing weaknesses?

pacinggggggg, and character arcs imo. i can do them and they turn out well if i try hard, but i do have to try really hard/do a lot of rereading and organizing

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

if im writing fic for a fandom that's not english-speaking, like the untamed, i will use words in mandarin if they are a proper noun/name of a place/etc. i also tend to keep it untranslated for titles and for diminutives/honorifics that lose meaning or impact when translated to english. that's it, though.

if i were to be writing a character liiiike james vega in mass effect who speaks spanglish occasionally, i'll be real sparing about it tbh. if i dont know someone who speaks a lot of spanglish or speak it myself, i'd rather just take it easy on that and not look like a dumbass/be offensive lol esp since with a property like mass effect it's really questionable if canon is even accurate lmao so you cant even go off of that

First fandom you wrote for?

starfox adventures dlgkhapodih yeah the gamecube rpg. best game ever btw

Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

this is so hard lmao but i think it's probably break of dawn. writing that fic was such a joy and the interaction with the fandom was something i haven't experienced since!!

if you read this, you're tagged!!!

#about me

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pookiecowpoke · 2 years ago

Note

Hi!

I don’t usually request anything, but I’m super curious! Could you write something for Bonnie Macfarlane and Arthur Morgan? They are one of my favorite pairings from Red Dead. I also have a couple of others that are pretty rare; Bonnie/Algernon Wasp and Micah/Mary-Beth.

I’d be excited to see any of those :)

Flowers by the Shoreline

Pairing: Micah Bell/Mary-Beth Gaskill

Fandom: Red Dead Redemption II

Rating: Mature

Word count: Just over 2000

Tags: Warnings: Sexism, racism, animal abuse (this is micah we are talking about, but that doesn’t make it okay), gift-giving, acts of affection, insecurities

Comments: After a very long break I’m back to writing requests! All other peeps are on the way I promise!

So, I’ve been playing Red Dead Redemption lately and I have to say I can’t stand Bonnie. I’m sorry, I know she’s supposed to be this head strong independent woman, and I support that but I can’t stand her voice anytime I’m doing a mission for her. Why is she screaming at me, why is she insulting John so much, please Bonnie calm down QAQ. And I like the idea of Micah and Mary-Beth ever since watching Micah get rejected by Mary-Beth in Chapter 3 (was it chapter 3? idek it was so long ago). I may have went a little overboard focusing on Micah’s insecurities and emotions, and may have turned it into a character study, but it’s okay XD. I hope you enjoy this!

Micah Bell the third only ever had 2 things on his mind: money and women. Money was easy. He had always had a knack for landing a score, whether that was through violence or his cunning mind. Money turned him on almost as much as women did, but women were a much more difficult thing for Micah to conquer.

They were a mystery that usually just frustrated him more than it was worth to touch their soft flesh and feel their warm bodies. Even whores stayed clear of him. It was humiliating. The women at camp only glared and gave fake smiles at best when he was around.

But oh, when Arthur fuckin’ Morgan was around all the women flocked to him. What did Arthur have that he didn’t? He drank just as much booze as he did, sure Morgan was maybe a better shot then Micah, but they still did about the same amount of chores at the camp. Well… when Charles or that O’Driscoll cunt didn’t already have them done…

Yet, all the women, even Abigail who was techincally John’s, would go to him for every one of their needs or wants. Morgan was gone most days and they still gathered around him when he returned and asked after him every waking second of the day. It disgusted Micah that they blantantly held favortism.

He would never approach Tilly, even if she had the most beautiful dark skin and wore that yellow dress that made her look like a little sunflower. He wouldn’t stoop that low.

Karen had nice tits and wasn’t afraid to drink, but she was loud. God awful loud, like a bird choking on a fish. Plus, Micah was sure Sean would throw a fit if he ever tried to make a move on Karen. Sean’s annoying Irish whine was almost worse than Karen’s drunken squawking.

Abigail, oh she was pretty. He cursed the day John went and got her pregnant, officially ending her whoring days five years ago. She even had a cute snorting laugh, but only Morgan and Hosea seemed to get her to let it out. Her kid, whatever his name was, was a pest that would run around without a care in the world. Not to mention if Micah was messing around with her, he’d have Marston, Morgan and the Old man gunning for him. Blegh, no thank you.

Miss Grimshaw was too old for Micah’s standards. She acted like there was a stick up her ass, and maybe there was. She used to be Dutch’s bitch all those years ago, making it a bit of a taboo to even attempt to approach her. Same went for Molly, as pretty as she was. Those two were off limits, as far as Micah could tell.

Mrs. Adler was just about as wild as she was attractive, and she would probably cut his pecker off if he approached her. She was sobbing most the time anyway.

That just left Mary-Beth, the hopeless romantic. Micah genuinely liked Mary-Beth and her low cut dress. Sure, he didn’t really understand some of her rambling wants about some fantasy guy who oftentimes sounded a lot like Morgan, but her freckles and the way she smiled when talking about her book always made his heart thump a little faster.

He had tried being nice to her before Blackwater. Greetings here and there, tips of his hat, that sort of bullshit. The damn freeze of Colter happened and everyone was in a piss-poor mood before they traveled down to New Hanover. Then he got imprisoned in Strawberry and was away from camp for nie on two weeks.

But now that they were at Clemens point and things were quiet, Micah planned to make his move. He had been in the Rhodes General store buying cigarettes when he saw a leather bound jounral on the shelf. He wasn’t one for journaling, it was a waste of time to write down his own thoughts, but Mary-Beth liked writing those silly little romances.

He approached the counter with the pack of cigarettes and the journal, laying them down in a huff. His heart was jerking uncomfortably in his chest, and his back was sweating through his shirt. The clerk tried to make small talk with him, but he just shot him a glare from under the brim of hat and went on his way.

Baylock greeted him with a snort and a stomp of his hoof. The tempermental nag even had the balls to sidestep when Micah went to mount him after putting the journal safely in his saddle bags.

“I will cut those damn balls off, boy, test me again.” Micah hissed through his bristly moustache.

The cobalt steed calmed and allowed Micah to swing himself into his saddle. On the way back to Clemens Point, Micah made it a point to stab his spurs into Baylock’s flanks as punishment for his transgressions. Baylock pinned his ears and wheezed as they galloped through the thick woodland that kept Clemens Point hidden from prying eyes.

Williamson on guard duty could hardly ask who was there before Micah flew by and cantered to the designated horse area. The O’Driscoll looked up from the detailing of a saddle when Baylock nickered and came to a sliding halt.

“Hey, O’Driscoll, unsaddle my horse.” Micah shouted while sliding off Baylock and searching through his saddle bag for the newly bought journal.

“M-mister I ain-”

“I don’t think I asked, O’Driscoll. Are we gonna have a problem?” The O’Driscoll shook his head, bowing to hide under his ridiculous straw hat. “Good, now be a good boy and do what I asked.”

Micah didn’t turn around to see if he followed through with his orders, his mind more set on the beautiful Gaskill sitting at the center table. Her hair was done up with half of it up and the other cascading in curled locks down her back. Clad in a maroon skirt, white low cut shirt and dark pink waistcoat, she looked radiant with the way the bright sun caught on her necklace made her breasts pop.

The only problem was that damn Morgan was talking to her at the table. He couldn’t just go up and give her the journal without an explanation, especially with Morgan right there. He’d be made a laughing stock. With a growl, Micah made a beeline for his tent. He would wait until that night, corner Mary-Beth to give her the journal and express himself to her. Yes, that was a good plan.

Micah sighed softly as he sat on his bedroll and looked down at the leather, flipping through the pages. They were good quality, or he thought they were. Surely, Mary-Beth would appreciate the gift. An uneasy feeling settled in his gut, something he only felt when something went wrong. He wasn’t a nervous human, but the thought of courting Mary-Beth made his stomach twist up and heart skip a beat. Maybe this was a bad idea? No, any idea he came up with was never a bad one, just needed some improvising if it went wrong.

In the heat of the Lemoyne sun, Micah laid out on his bed roll and tipped his hat down to hide his face, hands cupped under his head. His hair felt greasy and tangled, maybe he should go to the Flat Iron and wash up a bit before approaching Mary-Beth? His shirt also felt damp and rough against his skin.

With a snarl of frustration, Micah sat up and trampled around his tent to grab a sliver of soap and a ragged wash cloth. A clean dark grey button up lay at the bottom of his chest, he hadn’t worn it since… he didn’t know when. Rolling his eyes, he grabbed the shirt and left his tent with a flourish. The things he did for women.

No one spared him a glance as he walked to the lakeshore, following it until he found a partly hidden cove. He stripped down and waded into the water, scrubbing at his skin with the soap wrapped in the cloth until the blonde hairs on his chest were suddy and the faint smell of cedar filled his nostrals. He spent more time on washing his hair, dunking his head under the water and latehring it with soap.

Scratching at his moustache made him think maybe he should shave too, but the stubborn part of his mind told him he was already doing too much to impress Mary-Beth. He shook his head like a dog and wrung out the long strands before exiting the cove and using his old shirt to pat himself dry. Before leaving the cove he saw a flower nestled in a patch of bulrush. Its petals were white that bled to a dark pink. It reminded Micah of that marooon getup Mary-Beth was wearing at the domino table earlier.

He picked the flower without a second thought and hid it in the folds of his red shirt.

He returned to camp dressed in the grey shirt and his dusty white pants, hat low on his head. He knew people were looking at him now, freshly bathed and in a new shirt. It made his skin prickle unpleasantly, but snapping at that scrawny mutt that wandered into camp made him gain some control back of the situation.

After storing the soap and his dirty shirt back in his chest, Micah flopped on his bedroll, the flower stem pinched between his fingers. He wondered briefly what kind of flower it was, but he was sure Mary-Beth wouldn’t care. His mouth felt dry and his heart did that stupid pitter patter in his ribcage. A sip or two of whiskey calmed his nerves before he gathered the journal and flower in his hands.

The sun was just starting to bathe the sky in a mellow orange color, and most people were off doing whatever after dinner. Marston, Uncle, and Javier were sitting around the main fire, and Morgan’s horse was gone.

Slicking back his still damp hair, Micah slinked around the tents toward the girls’ tent. He got lucky enough that Karen and Tilly weren’t anywhere nearby, but Mary-Beth was curled up on the ground scribbling away in a journal.

Micah stopped a few feet off to the side of her tent, working his jaw and trying to figure out the right words to say. Morgan would know what to say without a problem, prolly something flirty or a greeting-

“Uhm… good evening, Mr. Bell…?” Mary-Beth’s quiet voice broke him from his thoughts and pushed him to action.

“Good evenin’, Ms. Gaskill-” Micah awkwardly shuffled closer to the bedrolls before playing with the leather of the journal in his hands, “I uh, I came to- Shit. Here.” With a severe lack of flattery, Micah held the book out to Mary-Beth.

Mary-Beth tilted her head and confusion flashed on her face as she slowly set down her pencil and journal. “What’s this for?”

“I uh- saw ya like to write, and I saw this at the general store.” Micah said dumbly before remembering the flower he was worrying in his calloused hands. “And uh saw this at the shore line, thought ya might like it.”

Micah could have imagined the light blush that colored Mary-Beth’s cheeks in the evening lighting, but she took the flower, their fingers brushing. “Oh, why… I’m sorry, Mr. Bell this is all very… odd.” She twisted the flower stem in her grasp, not meeting his eyes as she chewed on her lip.

Micah turned away, teeth gritting together as anger surged up through his body. Of course she would reject him just like every other whore-

“Thank you, though. It’s a very lovely gift, and the journal too. Mine is on it’s last few pages…” Mary-Beth took one of the curled locks of her hair and tugged on it bashfully.

Micah blinked, the anger draining from his body like a long needed piss. “Oh, uh, you’re welcome, Ms. Gaskill. I-I’ll leave ya to your writin’ now.” As Micah swiftly walked away he heard Mary-Beth’s muffled giggle. It wasn’t born of ill-humor, but it sounded like it was a flustered one.

He could get used to hearing that more often.

#my writing #rarepair asks #rarepair #rdr2 fanfic #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #micah bell #mary beth gaskill #tw: sexism #tw: racism #tw: animal harm #asks

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mersuperwholocked-lowlife · 4 years ago

Text

Back To Normal

Word Count: 2,154

Characters: Dean Winchester, John Winchester, Sam Winchester, Bobby SInger (brief), Reader

Pairings: Dean Winchester x Sister!Reader

Warnings: angst, small fluff, mentions of past abuse

A/N: idek what to say but hi i guess

A/N 2: Reader is like 2 years older than Dean

Masterlist

You walked to your parents’ room in the middle of the night, the house dark. It was probably around 2 but that didn't stop you from going to your dad, tugging on his arm.

“(Y/N)? What are you doing up, kiddo?” he asked softly, frowning as he turned the light on.

“What’s going on?” Mary sat up, looking at you cautiously.

“I had a bad dream, daddy. Can I sleep with you?” you wiped your eyes, yawning slightly as you continued to hold onto John’s hand.

“Of course you can, come on, let’s go to bed,” he lifted you up, wrapping his arms around you in a protective manner as he turned the lights off.

You continued holding onto his arm, falling asleep.

---

You shot up, hearing someone yelling as you quickly got out of bed, running to Dean.

“Dean, wake up!” you shook him slightly, as he looked at you, confused.

“Daddy’s yelling!” you said, holding his hand as the two of you ran out of your shared room, seeing a bright light coming out of Sam’s nursery.

“Daddy? What’s wrong?” you walked into the room, screaming as you saw the horrendous sight, your mother somehow pinned to the ceiling, blood dripping out of her stomach as the ceiling around her caught on fire.

“(Y/N)! (Y/N), take Sam and Dean out! Now!” he placed your six-month-old brother in your hand, as you held onto him tightly, holding Dean’s hand with your free hand.

You ran out of the house, watching flames coming out of the window.

“It’s gonna be okay, De,” you said softly.

You felt John’s arms wrap around the three of you, pulling you away to safety, watching your house envelop in flames.

---

“Again, (Y/N),” John handed you the gun, as you scratched your arm nervously, before picking it up.

You unloaded, then reloaded the gun, turning the safety off, then back on.

“38 seconds. You need to do it in under 15,” you nodded your head softly, listening to John.

“Yes, sir,” you replied, your voice low.

“I’m going to go out. Watch Sam and Dean,” before you could reply, he grabbed his jacket, slamming the door shut as you flinched slightly, before resting your head on your hands.

---

“Dean, can you help me out here?” you asked, rubbing your head.

“Sam doesn't listen to me either,” he shrugged. He flipped on the TV, watching some sort of cartoon as you groaned, turning back to Sam.

“Sam, you have to do your homework and you have to eat your dinner. Now,” you tried not to raise your voice, clearly annoyed by both of them.

“No, I don’t want to. I wanna watch TV with Dean,” he crossed his arms, frowning.

“After you do all your work,” you sighed.

“How come Dean doesn't have to do his work? Or eat his dinner?” Sam crossed his arms as you clenched your jaw, digging your nails into your palm.

I hate them both

“Dean already finished all his work! Sam, I’m serious!” you groaned.

Every day seemed to go like this. One or both of them would choose not to listen to you, getting you more irritated and stressed. You still had a huge amount of homework to do, half of which you could barely understand, and instead of doing it, you were trying to get Sam to listen. As usual.

“Dean didn’t do his homework!” Sam screamed as you winced, his shouting giving you a headache.

“He’s lying! I did it!” Dean shot up, pointing his finger at Sam.

Before you could say anything, both brothers started screaming at each other, leaving you with a headache.

“Enough!” you turned off the TV, pulling Dean to the table.

“Both of you shut up and do your homework! Now!” you yelled.

Sam sniffled, immediately looking down.

Great, now he’s crying

“Dude, you made him cry,” Dean looked up at you.

“Shut up, Dean. Do your work,” you rolled your eyes, before turning to Sam.

“You’re mean,” Sam said, his voice low.

“And you're a brat. Here’s a pencil,” you handed it to him, watching as the two of them tended to their homework.

---

“Dad,” you started softly.

He simply glared at you, before looking back at the road.

The two of you rode back to the hotel, where Sam and Dean were.

“Dad, I’m sorry,” you started.

“Shut up, (Y/N),” he snapped.

He left for a hunt, again. Leaving you with Sam and Dean, again. Leaving you with barely enough money to feed one of you, let alone three. You saw your only option was to steal. You didn't like it but you had no choice. Sam began to come down with a fever, and he needed medicine.

“You didn't leave us with… Sam was sick,” your voice broke as your heart began to race out of fear for what was going to happen to you.

“He’s fine now,” you looked at John nervously before running your fingers through your hair.

The rest of the ride remained silent, before approaching the hotel room. It was empty.

You turned to John, your eyes widening as you contained your panic.

You weren't allowed to be weak in front of John.

“They’re at Bobby’s. You’re with me for the week,” he threw his bag onto the floor as you flinched, trying your hardest to maintain this weekend.

You already knew that the worst was yet to come.

---

“Hey, are you okay?” your head shot up, as you opened your eyes, looking at Dean.

“No, I mean, yeah, I’m fine, sorry,” you shook your head, smiling softly at your younger brother.

“Sam’s passed out. Do you wanna watch a movie or something?” he asked, sitting next to you on the floor.

Dean graduated high school, spending more and more time with you and John, seeing what John does to you. You prayed that he wouldn't witness any of it but lately, none of your prayers seemed to help anything. You currently sat there with a black eye, saying it was from a hunt, but Dean knew otherwise.

“No, it’s fine,” you sighed, keeping your voice down.

The two of you sat in the dark, as Dean rested his head on your shoulder.

“I’m sorry for being such a bitch when I was younger,” he said softly.

“Oh, don't be. If it makes you feel any better, Sam was worse,” you laughed softly.

“I can't believe you dealt with us,” he shook his head.

“Well, why wouldn't I? You’re still my brother. Come on, you should get to bed,” you said.

“Are you going to sleep?” he asked.

“No, I need to watch over you guys,” you shook your head.

“That’s ridiculous. I’m not going to sleep till you do,” he crossed his arms.

“Well then, looks like you’re not getting any sleep tonight,” you turned, looking at him.

“Then so be it,” he continued to rest his head on your arm, as you scoffed before you continued to stare at the door.

You could feel Dean falling asleep, hearing him snoring. You pressed your lips against his forehead, stroking his hand softly.

---

“Oh my god!” you shot up in the bed, clenching your jaw as you held in your screams, feeling pain emit throughout your body.

“(Y/N)!” Sam and Dean ran to you, as you winced before they backed away.

“What happened?” you whispered.

Your arm was wrapped up in bandages, a sling on your shoulder. Your forehead was covered in bandages, scratches all over your body.

“What do you remember?” Dean asked.

You looked up at them, seeing tears in their eyes.

“The demon… yellow eyes… where’s Dad?” you asked softly.

“He sold his soul for Dean,” Sam whispered a reply.

Your eyes watered as you felt a shiver over your body.

You sniffled, wiping your tears as you looked at Dean.

“I-It’s gonna be okay,” you said softly, wrapping your arm around Sam and Dean.

“It's gonna be okay.”

---

“(Y/N), it’s 3 AM,” Bobby walked into his study room, sitting down in front of you.

The three of you finished a hunt nearby, crashing at Bobby’s for the night.

He offered you a beer, as you took it from him.

“Do you have anything to say, kid?” he asked you.

“No, I want to sit here and drink this beer in silence, please,” you sighed.

“What is it with you Winchesters never showing any damn emotion?” he raised his voice slightly as you sighed.

You ran your fingers through your hair, resting your arm on the table.

“Why won’t you go to bed?” he asked.

“Bye, Bobby,” you pushed out of your seat, grabbing your jacket.

“The hell do you think you're doing, young lady?” he immediately crossed his arms, standing in front of the door.

“I’m going out. I’ll see you in the morning,” you walked past him, leaving his house.

---

You sat in the driver’s seat, hearing Dean yelling at you.

“I don’t…” you hiccupped.

“I don’t know why you’re so mad,” you shrugged, laying back in the seat.

“You’re not driving, you’re drunk. Scoot over,” Dean crossed his arms.

“I’m not drunk, you’re drunk. And bossy,” you laughed, nearly falling off your seat as Dean forcibly pushed out over, sitting in the driver’s seat.

“It’s been a month of this crap. When was the last time you even slept?” Dean asked.

“I don’t like to sleep,” you looked out the window, watching all the trees passing by.

Something about the trees seemed to mesmerize you, as you yawned, blinking your eyes.

“Why don’t you like to sleep?” Dean asked.

Within 20 seconds, you fell onto Dean as he groaned, looking at you completely passed out.

“(Y/N),” Dean said, pushing you off of him.

“(Y/N),” he repeated.

Your head fell against the window, as Dean listened to your breathing, making sure you didn't just die on him.

It had been a month of that. Ever since John died, you barely slept, spending all your time on either hunts or in a stranger’s bed, completely drunk.

Dean followed you, stopping whatever person was hitting on you and took your joke, slightly disappointed, slightly feeling pity for you.

Something happened to make you like this, and all he wanted was you back to normal.

His face softened, looking at your shaking figure. He took his jacket off, laying it on you before continuing to look forward at the road.

---

“We need to talk,” Dean sat at the edge of your bed, as you sat up, rubbing your head.

He handed you a glass of water and some aspirin. You silently thanked him, before clearing your throat.

“What's the problem?” you asked.

“You,” he replied.

“Excuse me?” you raised an eyebrow.

“One month. Since Dad died. Since you changed completely. You go out every night when we’re not hunting, don’t try to lie to me and tell me that you’re getting sleep because I know damn well that you’re not. We’re worried about you and we want our sister. We lost Dad, we don’t want to lose you too,” your eyes watered slightly as you looked at Dean.

You knew he was right. You felt shame immediately, knowing that John was looking at you, disappointed. From above or below. You weren't even taking care of Sam and Dean.

“I’m sorry,” you replied.

“I don’t want an apology. I want you back to normal,” you ran your fingers through your hair, blinking back your tears as you sniffled.

Just tell him, it’ll have to come out sooner or later

“I’ve just been… I’ve been having nightmares about Dad,” you sniffled.

His face softened, as he scooted closer to you.

“Why didn't you tell me?” he asked softly.

“It’s not your problem to worry about,” you rested your head on your lap.

“Not my problem? (Y/N),” he started.

“You don’t understand, Dean. Please, just go,” you closed your eyes, feeling a tear streaming down your cheek.

He wrapped his arms around you tightly, as you held him.

“Dad’s gone. H-He’s dead. He can’t hurt you anymore, you don’t have to keep putting up a shield and blocking out everyone and everything,” you held back your cries as you buried yourself into Dean’s arms.

“I know,” you whispered.

“He can’t do anything to you ever again,” Dean’s voice was shaky, you could feel his tears.

“I’m sorry, Dean,” you cried softly.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. I-I’m sorry I wasn't here for you sooner,” you stroked his cheek softly, sniffling as you smiled at him softly.

“I love you, kiddo,” you said.

“I love you too, (Y/N/N),” he replied, laying down next to you.

“Sam’s out doing nerdy stuff with Bobby. What do you say to a movie or two?” he looked up at you.

“Yeah, sure,” you stroked his hair softly, turning the TV on.

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makeste · 4 years ago

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BnHA 6th Popularity Poll Reaction Post - Risky Spoiler-Dodging Edition

hey guys, so seeing as the results from the 6th popularity poll were leaked today, I figured I would do a separate reaction + analysis post this year, rather than piling it in as an extra on top of the chapter reaction post tomorrow. I figure this makes more sense anyway, since they’re really two completely different things. also this way I can write as much as I want lol.

also, just fyi, I am still completely unspoiled for chapter 293. and probably the smart thing to do to keep it that way would be to log off tumblr and hold off posting this until tomorrow, but I apparently have no impulse control today so oh well. anyway, so I’m hoping you guys will keep this spoiler-free if you don’t mind! as always, I would prefer to just jump right in completely unaware tomorrow like Troy returning to the study room with the pizza boxes lol.

okay so this first part is just going to be my predictions. fyi I am writing this part on Wednesday night, and then I’ll add on the results part on Thursday or Friday (ETA: Thursday, apparently, since I am impatient.)

okay so first of all, just as a refresher, this poll was open to Japanese voters from Aug 3 to Sep 30. meaning chapters 279 through 285. meanwhile last year’s poll took place around the tail end of the MVA arc. so between then and now we had Heroes Rising, the Endeavor Agency arc, and the War arc up to the part where the 1-A kids took on Gigantomachia in Gunga, and started battling Tomura in Jakku. so technically only a couple of arcs, but a LOT of stuff going down in them. oh and season 4 of the anime as well

so! firstly, I predict that my truculent africanized honeybee son will hold on to his crown at #1, coming off a year in which he did some internship-boosted soul searching, borrowed OFA in movie canon, and finished out the voting period as the my-body-moved-on-its-own character development MVP. like CALL ME CRAZY lol, but I’m pretty sure his title is safe. and then after him will be Deku and Shouto as usual

Aizawa should hopefully also have a strong showing because the dude had a banner fucking year. reunited with his old dead friend, took on Tomura with his hopelessly inept hero pals, and then chopped his fucking leg off. he had better be in the top 10. his fucking leg died for this, idk what else he has to do

Endeavor also stands a decent chance of doing well given the internship arc and the final episode of season 4. which I’m sure will go down just swimmingly if that does happen lmao. especially if he somehow manages to rank higher than...

Dabi, which I don’t think he will btw, but you never know. anyways though, but I’m thinking Dabi’s going to have a stronger showing than in past years (in the last poll he only got 367 votes and was ranked 19th). mostly because of his fight in the Gunga mansion, and his cheekily censored name reveal to...

Hawks, who is also going to rank pretty high here, I think. might be he loses some points for killing off Twice, but his back was basically to the wall there. and he has always been very popular, and I think season 4 will also give him a boost, along with his heavy involvement in the first half of the War arc

Tomura was already in 6th place last year and I think he cracks the top 5 this year. he’s gotten exponentially more popular since the MVA arc, and got a boost in the last poll even though his flashback had only just barely happened, and he hadn’t finished Awakening yet and all that stuff. anyway, so he’s only gotten cooler and more tragic since then so I think he makes a big play here

Kirishima, Momo, Tokoyami, and Mina should also hopefully do well, since the poll opened right in the middle of all that Gigantomachia action, and Toko had just got done being an absolute badass and protecting his birb dad. I don’t think he’ll quite make it to the top ten, but he should

and last but not least, I’m hoping that Mirko will come out and take the polls by storm, although I have no clue how popular she is in Japan lol. she’s clearly Horikoshi’s favorite though. she SHOULD be everyone’s favorite, but I mean, we’ll see how it goes

anyway that’s it as far as predictions! and so now, through the magic of writing stuff at different times, we will fast-forward to the part where we actually find out the results!

OH MY GOD YES, STEAMPUNK KHLKSLLKL. HERE FOR IT. JOLLY GOOD SHOW. 5 STARS

Kacchan looks SO COCKY and SO HAPPY and SO ADORABLE, YES I SAID IT. he is adorable as FUCK. I don’t quite know what it is about this particular Kacchan that just screams “LOOK HOW FUCKING CUTE MY STUPID, LOUD SON IS WITH HIS BIZARRE WINDOWPANE-LOOKING CONVERTIBLE SUNGLASS GOGGLES and his POORLY TIED CRAVAT”, but I think it’s because he looks like if a Digimon character and a FMA character had a baby

anyway, so it looks like most of the people present here are more or less who we expected to see. except that I can’t tell for sure if that’s Dabi or Shindou, and if it’s Shindou I’m going to punch somebody in the face so you will have to excuse me

Iida wearing a TRENCHCOAT and a TOP HAT with ENGINE EXHAUST GOGGLE ACCENTS is my new favorite Iida of all time. take note how there is no possible way he can wear those goggles with them sitting on top of his hat like that. plus he’s already got glasses on. these are just purely for aesthetic and IF THAT AIN’T JUST THE STEAMPUNK WAY

Deku out here speaking softly and carrying a lead pipe. Kacchan you best look out. seems like he’s done watching you take first place year after year while he languishes in the number two spot. your only hope is that he trips while attacking you because his boots are unbuckled

Shouto’s standing over there with the rest of the non-first-and-second-place characters, but what are the odds his results are actually within spitting distance of Deku’s same as always. anyway he doesn’t mind, though. also his outfit is by far the most sensible one here, but if you look closely he’s got some sort of fire extinguisher/jet pack thing strapped to his back that’s got a control switch on his belt. Shouto are you jetpacking or putting out fires

Kirishima out here all “I’m not sure what steampunk is so I’m just going to take off my shirt and pose”

AIZAWA WITH THE EYEPATCH SKLKSDLKFJLSKJLDFKJSLDFFJLDKSJFL:KS. SIR. SIR. also, lowkey furious that Horikoshi refuses to show us the automail leg that he is clearly sporting here but which we just can’t see, SHOUTO MOVE GODDAMMIT

Endeavor has TWO fire extinguisher-slash-jetpacks. THE BETTER TO... WHATEVER. look at you here in the top ten again. you really live for that controversy

HAWKS OUT HERE WITH HIS STEAMPUNK BEATS BY DRE AND HIS WEARING A RING ON EVERY FINGER. nice to see you’ve still got your wings there, kiddo. then again Deku still has both of his arms too so who even knows what is going on

BUT SERIOUSLY THOUGH, IS THIS DABI OR SHINDOU. as if I don’t know the truth deep down in my heart. y’all I am gonna flip lmao. it’s not that I dislike Shindou, strictly speaking. but just... I can’t explain what it is, but if you put him and AFO next to each other and told me “you can only punch one”, I would be having a serious crisis. just, THIS FUCKING GUY, idek. STOP SMILING

Tomura looks like he just wandered onto the set here by mistake and has no idea where he is or what is going on. it’s because you’re wearing a bigass severed hand that’s blocking your entire view, Tomura. just take the hand off your face my sweet murder dumpling

anyway! so I managed to also find a link to the full poll results while somehow managing to avoid spoilers, and then I wanted to compare the results to last year’s poll, and so I made... this

hopefully you can all see this. if you’re on desktop you might be screwed, but on mobile you should be able to click and enlarge it. I mean, assuming you actually give a fuck about boring poll analysis spreadsheets lmao

anyway, so there were actually 13k fewer votes cast this year which is a bit of a surprise. is the series not still growing in popularity? do people apparently have better things to do during their quarantine lol

anyways but despite this, and despite getting 8k fewer votes overall, Kacchan still managed almost twice as many as his closest competitor. well fought, Deku. please put down that pipe

I somehow always underestimate the power of ship popularity to influence these things. but for example, it looks like Present Mic got that Vigilantes Trio bump. ride that wave for all it’s worth my man! hell, you got me on board

Iida fucking Tenya somehow got some sort of POWER BOOST out of NOWHERE which I can’t explain at all lmao, but I’m here for it. NOT BAD FOR AN OLD MAN

Sero managed to get the exact same number of votes in both 2019 and 2020. clearly the most loyal fans in the business

Mirko being all the way down at #20 is, of course, a travesty, and I hereby nominate her to be the one to punch Shindou in the face

ngl though, the lack of a single female character in the top ten hurts just a bit. it’s not overly surprising, but still. the worst part of it is that even if you kicked Shindou to the curb and moved everyone else up one slot, it would still be all dudes since Mic beat out Momo by a margin of a little more than a hundred votes. hard to stay mad at Mic for too long, though. ah well

Tomura actually lost a bunch of votes which is a genuine surprise to me. I know the villain standom isn’t as dominant in Japan as it is in Western fandom, but still. you can go ahead and punch Shindou too I guess

Tokoyami lowkey doubled his vote count over the past year while hiding down there at #18. he is slowly becoming more powerful. biding his time

anyway so I think that’s it! I mean not really, but I’m getting kind of tired lol. so just, you know, insert the usual gripes at Overhaul’s ranking here, although we can be happy about Magne making her way onto the list (r.i.p.), and Mineta and AFO taking a very satisfying slide down (all the way out, in AFO’s case; good riddance you bum). Hadou also got a huge boost which is awesome. Mustard’s persistent ownership of the #36 spot will forever remain a mystery to me, but oh well

anyways, this was fun. and I really do feel like everyone is looking away on purpose so that when Deku brains Kacchan with that pipe in about two seconds from now, there will be no witnesses, oh my fucking god

#bnha 293 #bnha popularity poll #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #todoroki shouto #aizawa shouta #shigaraki tomura #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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darling-i-read-it · 4 years ago

Text

New Nurse

Michael Myers x reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: violence, mental facilities

Author’s Note: I have been so scared to write something for Michael cause I didn’t want to fuck it up but i am pleasentley suprised at how this turned out. I hope you all enjoy it? Maybe? We’ll see. (also thank you to @zodiyack for encouraging me to do this ages ago otherwise I probably never would have done it ily bowie)

Summary: You’re Michael’s primary nurse which causes some problems when you have to be home from work.

Genre: idek

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director

(not my gif)

When you met Michael it was in a contained situation. You had known of the things he had done but when you took the job at the facility in which he was held, there was no doubt that you would have met him one way or another.

You were just another nurse. Just another face that he saw, day in and day out. You were always lucky to make it out of his room alive each day. That you meant nothing to him.

To be completely fair it had started that way. There was no emotion to Michael. He felt indifferent toward most things and his strongest feeling was hate. He had never really been in love with anything. He had never felt love. His brain was a shell of a man that would never really learn to feel anything that would constitute him as a normal human man.

But one afternoon, his doctor asked you if you had spiked his drink. You thought the notion was ridiculous. If you wanted to spike someone you would not go to Michael’s room. You knew he was dangerous. You knew he felt no guilt. But apparently there had been an ever so slight change in his vitals when they checked it after you left. To any other patient it would mean nothing but because it was Michael they had to check with everyone who had gone in that day. You were the last person he saw.

His doctor thought that was something crazy but you refused to believe it was anything but a broken machine. There was no way to tell however. He never spoke.

You had been treating Michael for years at that point. You entered his room, as you did every day you worked.

“Goodmorning,” you muttered, more to yourself than to him although you knew he could hear you. Whether he cared to understand was yet to be studied. He looked at the wall that held his desk of food. You looked over at him, smiling gently. “The doctors seem to think you like me, which I said was ridiculous but I’ve been instructed to tell you that in case it spikes something.”

There was no response which you weren’t surprised with. You placed his food down on his desk and took the old tray.

You leaned against the desk and looked at him. You studied his emotionless face, trying to decide what he was thinking. He must have been thinking something. Maybe it was nothing of substance. Maybe it wasn’t.

“Well, I’ll see you later. Have a good afternoon,” you said. No response but you had gotten used to it.

You stepped outside to see the hallway, closing and locking the door behind you. Your boss stood out there, speaking to a woman you didn’t recognize in an outfit identical to yours. She must have been a new nurse.

“Ah, Y/N. Come.” You walked over, standing beside him and the new girl. There was rarely anyone new anymore, considering the reputation. Many people preferred to stay away. “This is Mary. She’s going to be taking over some of your shifts so that you can have a few extra days off.”

You were often on call for when Michael needed you as you were his most constant nurse. He never really needed you but you were always on call. You were in the facility more often than not.

“Hello Mary,” you said sweetly, shaking her hand. She seemed to be shaking in her shoes. You wondered if she had chosen your route. Likely not. You had some pretty sick people during your day but at least you could say that it was never boring.

“I’d like you to introduce her to Michael.”

Her face struck with fear. You held back a scoff.

“He really is not that bad, once he gets used to you. Perhaps on my next route? I was just in there, I would hate to mix up his schedule.” Your boss nodded, giving Mary a strained smile.

“Of course.”

Unfortunately your next route with Micahel wasn’t until the next day. It completely slipped your mind that you had an appointment that you couldn’t miss and were unable to come in to work that day. You figured of course they would have one of the nurses that Michael knew take over your shift but it was very rare that you missed a day so you never really knew.

You had just gotten home after your appointment when you heard the phone ring. You didn't even take off your shoes as you answered.

“Hello?” you called.

“Oh thank goodness, we’ve been trying to get a hold of you for hours!” You furrowed your eyebrows and twirled your finger around the cord.

“What’s wrong? Is it Gary? I told you to give him the pills in the sandwiches or he gets mad-”

“No it’s Michael.” Those were not words you had been expecting to hear. Michael never had any problems.

“I’ll be there in ten.”

You drove over the speed limit most of the way but narrowly managed to avoid getting pulled over. You practically ran up to Michaels room and noticed the door was wide open, a crowd of doctors surrounding it. You caught sight of your boss who looked relieved to see you.

“What happened? He never acts up!”

“He didn’t take well to the new nurse.”

“You mean to say you let him see her without any supervision? Without introducing them properly? Is she alright? Is he okay?” You were still trying to get a grip on the situation.

“She’s in the infirmary. He banged her head against the desk.”

“And him?”

“They sedated him. He’s in the empty room upstairs.” You started your way up there quickly. People let you push past, knowing who you were. You got the edge of his bed where he looked so still. More still than usual anyway.

“Michael?” you muttered. His eyes found you and you saw him fight his restraints. You backed up nervously and he quit it, relaxing. The doctors around him watched anxiously. You slowly walked back up to him and nodded. “It’s alright. You’re alright. Although you could have just asked her to leave,” you said, laughing dryly.

While he didn’t say anything you thought his lips went up a bit in almost a smile. That was enough.

#michael myers x reader #michael myers imagines #slashers imagines

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laceymorganwrites · 4 years ago

Text

The damn jacket

Word count: 2,210

Pairing: none rlly

Warnings: swearing, mentions of drugs, like a sentence of Mötley Crüe slander xD, um bad structure??

A/N: this is a mess. modern AU, kinda character analysis, idek but it was fun. Inspired by @pirate-shrimp (if any of u catch the MSI reference I will marry u on the fucking spot)

Kid had bar vibes. He was the kind of guy you found sitting in the corner of your local pub, just far away from the others not to be forced into a conversation but also not far away enough to seem lonely.

He was the local phenomena of the man you didn´t want to get close to but whose story you wanted to know at the same time. The guy who pushed people away because he was more scared of hurting them than being hurt.

Hell, he doubted he could get hurt anymore at this point, over the years he´s lost so many friendships, been betrayed so much by the people he considered the closest to him, it was laughable.

Maybe that was why he didn´t let anyone get close anymore, why he always seemed so distant, his thoughts stuck in a past long gone or perhaps a future he knew he´d never have.

A good for nothing college drop out, those were the hard facts he had to face every day.

It wasn´t because he was dumb that he quit, far from it. Kid wasn´t thrown out, he quit himself because college was too restricting for him. There were some classes that were nice enough, but working towards exams really wasn´t his style, he wanted to do something, anything really.

People like him didn´t have it easy, society measured your worth in degrees and results. But what if the way was so much more fun than the end result?

Kid had a lot of jobs to make a living, never staying in one though, he got bored so easily. How could anyone expect anyone to keep doing the same routinized thing for over 40 years? It was insanity. To him anyways.

Being punk, never fitting in, living the life of sex, drugs and rock n roll…. It all seemed so much more fun than it really was.

Kid´s band was a bad ripoff of Mötley Crüe, though some might argue that the band itself was.

Yes, he fit into some stereotypes that he was so sick of hearing: playing in a band, being that eccentric lead singer that caused too much trouble for his own good, though the second part wasn´t true anymore. Lately he just wanted people to leave him alone.

It was nice being a small town band, the bonds with your audience were so much stronger, it felt like hanging out with friends rather than playing a show for money. Kid never wanted that feeling to end, he never wanted to end up like those big bands who lost their spark, who lost that glimmer in their eyes, their racing heart when Killer counted and initiated their first song, the immense feeling of belonging whenever the crowd would sing his words back to him.

This.

This was what he was made for. Passion. That was what was missing when he was studying, he needed to do things, be that sketching or tinkering with his car or writing everything down that was going on in his head.

In truth Kid started writing because it all got too much, too many fake people around him, too many people acting like his best friend and leaving him cold the next day, too many people telling him they loved him and then spitting at him, gossiping behind his back.

A part of him missed the times when he cared, when he was shocked and hurt by this. By now it´s become so common, like the energy drink before work.

Kid didn´t have the dream rockstar life, not the one where people looked so cool shooting up in those movies, that shit was fucked up and society was sick for portraying it like that.

He only had bad experiences with drugs, living in a small town like this he saw the addicts everywhere, sad creatures who couldn´t support themselves anymore, who got dependent on things that destroyed them because nobody would help, because nobody gave a shit about them. Why would they? They were good for nothings who couldn´t work ten hours in some shitty job that didn´t pay them enough to pay rent.

The system wasn´t corrupt? Yeah, bullshit.

The problem he faced was that of a fleeting society, a society that sped up so much, never once slowing down and looking around to see what was out there. They never thought about expanding their horizons.

Schoolings were looked down upon, but at the same time cheered for. It was so strange… the craft was dying but also needed.

Nothing held value anymore, nothing lasted, nothing strove to.

Kid was happy with his life as it was now. He hated being selfish and arrogant but learned that a certain amount was needed to survive, you needed to look out for yourself before you could look out for anyone else. A local rockstar, frequent bar visitor, the best mechanic in town. All those fit him so well but at the same time he looked the part, oh how he hated it sometimes. The acquaintances he made because of his looks, because people spread rumors about him, making him more myth than man, it was pretty tiring.

Especially when they all were disappointed by the rather bland truth.

Not that Kid was bland in any way, it was just that people expected so much more from him, they wanted him to be this rebel, this punk, this heartbreaker.

Expected him to have tattoos and piercings but the truth was that he had such a low pain tolerance it was embarrassing. Yes, he bore every punch and kick he ever got without any complaints because there were parts of him that told him he deserved it, parts that hated him more than anything else.

Just try it…. there´s nothing you can do that I haven´t already done myself, you can´t hate me more than I hate myself.

Ah yes, the typical phenomenon of this generation: being way too soft and overly sensitive.

That was it, they weren´t more considerate and aware of their mental health and other people´s wellness, of identity and morals, of things that got swiped under the rug because ´it was always this way´. Why the fuck would people so desperately try to keep something misogynistic, racist and homophobic up? Just because it existed the majority of time doesn´t mean it was a good system.

Fuck, it never was.

And Kid was sick of everyone playing down those things. So what if he was a fucking crybaby and didn´t get humor? He wouldn´t take this shit anymore, yeah it mostly didn´t affect him but he got angry beyond belief for the people it did affect.

It wasn´t fair.

He couldn´t do anything? It wouldn´t matter anyway? It wouldn´t make a difference? So fucking what. He´d never know if he didn´t try.

Just now Kid finished up his work at the garage, closing up shop for the day. It was a busy day, many people who were driving through came to him to do a check up, others came by for their regular reparation. He loved that busy meant fun in his world. He was so fucking happy that he could do the things that brought him joy, that burned like a fire in his heart. And no, he didn´t care how cheesy that sounded.

Washing his hands and closing the door behind him he called Killer to let him know he was done. Killer was also just now finishing up his shift at the record shop. Now was their time to rehearse, band practice was always the best part of the day, though quite honestly most of the time it was just the guys hanging out and having a good time. And they wouldn´t have it any other way.

Kid grabbed his jacket and locked the doors before making his way to his car.

The jacket. That damn jacket.

It was where it all started. He bought that old thing from his first ever pay at the garage, his boss told him to spend it on something nice for himself, something that´d make him a man. He didn´t ever ask what he meant by that, his boss said weird things at times. But this was true, at least in a sense.

It was the first time Kid ever stepped foot inside of a second hand store and it was like heaven revealed himself to him, it was pure paradise. Just going through the aisles, finding treasures like no other, it became one of his favorite things to do.

The jacket was the first thing that ever caught his eye, the firs thing he purchased. The black leather with the yellow and dark red details, the skull on the back… it was calling to him. Those were his favorite colors, he didn´t even have to think about it before he bought it.

But what about it made him a man? It was just a jacket after all. But that´s where you´d be wrong.

It was so much more than that.

The very next day he started wearing it religiously, he noticed people staring at him at the streets but this time it wasn´t because he was a loser, it was because he looked fucking cool. The jacket boosted his confidence immensely. And it showed.

His boss complimented him and said that from this day on his journey was only beginning, and how right he was with that.

It was the day he reconnected with his high school friend Killer, he didn´t even know he was back in town, let alone working at his favorite record shop and searching for a band to play drums for. So Kid got his first guitar and played it to death, jamming with Killer and searching for others, thus meeting Heat and Wire, the coolest guys on earth.

He grew so much, finding more and more passion in his life, only his jacket stayed the same. He decided that it was time to change that.

Kid went to the crafts store and bought red leather protectors with a quilting pattern, sewing it to the shoulders of the jacket. He also decided to pimp the skull, making it his own personal jacket in painting on the goggles he wore at work, two knives as a cross because it was edgy and of course: his hair. His untamable hair that would never hold up so he got used to wearing any sort of silly glasses, sometimes even the goggles from work. Hair gel was a lie to him, so was hairspray.

He painted bright red flames in homage to his dyed hair, yeah, it wasn´t just a phase.

Everything was coming together.

He grabbed his stupidly large square blue sunglasses that made him look like a dad. Yes, Kid had a dad style. He loved second hand shirts more than anything, not the boring ones, the ones with the stupidest prints, he wore dad shoes like no one´s business and he was proud of it. He was the cool dad, the cool dad with the big car and puns that were so bad they somehow got good again. But damn, did he have talent with words. Screw not being able to formulate shit in speech, that man could write like a god, or rather the devil. Because, let´s be real, the devil sounds so much better on the mic.

Starting the engine, he drove home to at least make some room to sit for his friends, on the way he shopped for groceries too. Now that he was home he got the snacks, drinks and notebooks ready as well as the tons of pens where he never knew which one worked but never threw any away because somehow he thought he´d exchange the mines. Yeah, as if.

He threw on a black shirt and some black joggers before tying his hair up into a tiny ponytail, still his bangs fell in his face as always. It was annoying so he clipped them back with some black hair clips. He didn´t care if he looked stupid with that, at least he could see clearly now.

But getting a hair cut? No way, he looked too cool for that.

Kid opened the door when the others came and sat down on the couch with his acoustic guitar, lately they decided to play around with reimagining their songs after supporting and motivating Kid to sing rather than growl. He had such a nice guttural and gruff voice, these imperfections when singing, the edges just made the song that much more genuine.

Listening to Kid you just couldn´t help but get mesmerized, the way his biceps flexed when he held the guitar, the emotions in his eyes, the way he frowned and squinted whenever the lyrics got emotional and close to home, it made you want to protect him, to keep him happy, to keep this alive, this wonderful world he created for himself.

The others also scribbled down ideas and practiced new melodies, tried out new lyrics and solos. After a while work mixed in with private chats and the night faded into distant, nostalgic laughter and the crinkles around Kid´s eyes that showed how much it all meant to him.

#one piece #one piece imagine #one piece oneshot #one piece scenario #one piece drabble #one piece fic #one piece kid #one piece modern au #one piece writing #op #op imagine #op oneshot #op scenario #op kid #op drabble #op fic #op writing #op modern au

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365text · 4 years ago

Note

where do you learn mandarin writing from? Any resources! I’m a fluent speaker but can barely write or read...but a lot of resources are catered for beginners...

okay my answer turned out to be pretty long, so i’ll include most of it under a cut HA;SLDKF;AOW

tl;dr tho: i can give u a textbook that i’m currently using, some general tips for what i’ve found to help me with chinese, and an app that i use to help me translate characters!

for the chinese textbook PDF that i’m currently using, it’s the textbook they used at my college for heritage speakers (ie. native speakers that need more emphasis on reading/writing), though i’m not sure if it was developed for that purpose haha. the first 10 or so chapters are for “level 1″, next 10 or so for “level 2″ and so forth.

the textbook includes grammar notes at the end of the reading, pinyin for the first ~17 lessons, and exercises to complete as well! also, since you said “barely write or read”, i’m assuming u have a lil’ bit of writing/reading under your belt? o: which should hopefully help u get started once u have a textbook to work off of ^-^ one thing to note though, is that though a traditional version of the lesson is provided in the textbook, it’s largely simplified-oriented (ie. exercises are in simplified, the formatting is a little more catered towards the simplified version, etc.)

also full disclaimer, i went to chinese school since i was a wee kid, i had a p good foundation for reading/writing when i began, so i just started from a later lesson in the textbook this summer to correspond with where i was at in terms of my language journey :’)

but ! i’m also helping my boyfriend (re)learn chinese this summer using this textbook, and he’s p much in the same boat as u except idek if he counts as a Fluent Speaker ™ HAHA and i think it’s working p well for him! the pinyin translation helps a lot, since as a fluent speaker, you’ll probably be able to recognize most (if not all) of the words by sound even if not by character, which helps to speed up the reading/writing learning process a lot.

and in terms of some general learning tips for chinese that i’ve found helpful:

learn your radicals! a lot people think chinese is just a jumble of strokes, but in reality there is (oftentimes, more or less of a) rhyme or reason to how the characters are structured. radicals provide meaning to the character, which can help a lot in remembering how a character is written. tho tbf, with simplified characters (and through natural history of time and evolution of languages), the direct relation is sometimes more obsfucated, but it still helps overall!

similarly, the other side of the character provides a clue as to how the character sounds! again, this isn’t Always the Case, but it’s true for a lot of characters, and helps a lot to guess what a character sounds like / means, even if you don’t fully recognize it.

sometimes i can even guess how to write or read a character, by trying to piece together what i know of the radical/other part of the character :”)

as an example: 批 means “to criticize” or “slap”. going with that latter definition, we can notice that:

扌：is the radical for hand 比 (bí) : provides the phonetic element (ish) LOL like i said it’s not always a perfect match, but u can kinda see how they go together, and remembering this helps me remember how to write the character :”)

i’d go thru the process of finding the radical and the sound of the remaining portion of the character (+ searching up other similar sounding words) to try and better remember/understand a new character that i’m learning

also, as for all languages (and especially for reading/writing chinese because of all the dAMn strokes LOL): repetition is key! u can see an example of what i do here~

when i first start off, i write down all the characters i don’t know + their pinyin + their meaning, and maybe some examples of what they mean / came from to help me remember.

and then, i’ll write the characters i don’t know anywhere from 5-10 times in one sitting, depending on the complexity of the character & my unfamiliarity with it to practice getting used to the strokes.

and then after that initial “learning”, i’ll test myself every following day by trying to rewrite the characters based on the pinyin only, and if i mess up / forget, then i make myself write that character/phrase another 5-10 times LOL

i keep doing this until i can write all the phrases (and remember their meaning) with no mistakes~

also i think reading the lesson out loud is rly important too — reading in your mind vs. reading it out loud is a different experience, i find! if you struggle with knowing certain characters, i would pull up the pinyin version alongside it (or writing the pinyin on top of characters u don’t know) as reference, and gradually moving away from using the pinyin by the end of your time with that lesson (kinda similar to how i practice with writing the new characters)

sitting down & doing the exercises is def good practice too, esp. when it comes to writing a short essay using the words from the lesson! if you have anyone you know (ie. parents, etc.) that can read over your sentences to make sure everything looks good, that’d be great too hehe

would also recommend the pleco app! i use it to help me translate words i don’t recognize sometimes, or to provide more context as to the meaning of the phrases. there might be better apps out there, but i’ve found this one p good for my needs so far :”)

phew okie !! sorry that was so...long but it’s everything i could think of right now for studying chinese. lmk if you’d be interested in the pdf (you might also be able to find it online, it’s called: oh! china LOL. but also....i found this PDF of the textbook i had used in chinese school at some point online, so if u wanna check that out instead, seems like a p solid option too 👀)

#reply #anon #mandarin #chinese #langblr #language tips #studyblr #mytips #also bruh im tilted i swear u could have indented bullet points before ?? but the formatting isn't showing up on my dash

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whump-my-dear-watson · 5 years ago

Text

Whumptober day no.14, 16, 17 +20

Pinned down, tear-stained, stay with me, Trembling

Character: Clark Kent

Fandom: Smallville

Word Count: 1,880

Summary: Clark is pinned by a boulder that is infused with Kryptonite, unable to move it off of him and being continually weakened, Clark faces the longest day of his life.

A/N: this takes place around the earlier seasons of Smallville, idek, and boy howdy I sure did combine a lot of prompts for this one lol, also there’s a ton of perspective switches because I love so many dynamics of caretakers with Clark, and I couldn’t choose...

Pete’s truck sputtered and spit with black smoke, giving out with one last spurt. Pete sighed as he did his best to steer off the road as to not block any other cars, with a shudder the truck halted. Peter looked around. What could he do now?

Before Pete was even able to make a decision on what he should do, the ever familiar blur of Clark came streaking towards him.

“Need a hand?” Clark asked with his typical face-wide grin.

“Yeah, she gave out again. Think you can push it down the hill, or should I call a truck?”

Clark’s hands were already on the bumper of the truck, “I got this.”

Pete took a step back as Clark started to push the truck over the little hill before the road started to plateau.

Good thing Clark came when he did, it was starting to get dark and the rock side of the road towered high, hiding them from view.

They had gotten over twenty feet before Clark stopped.

“You okay?” Pete asked.

Clark twisted his head towards the side of the road. “Do you hear that?”

“What? No.”

“It's like a rumbling, it doesn't sound good…” Clark studied the wall of rock beside them, with the squint that Pete could recognize as using his x-ray vision.

“Everything okay?” Pete could barely get out before Clark let go of the truck and turned to him.

“Watch out!” Clark screamed, tackling into him, throwing Pete out of the way just as a giant boulder broke out and landed with a heavy thud.

“Clark? Are you okay?” Pete asked, standing up.

Clark's voice came from under the newly made to pile. “I'm good. Maybe,” he added much softer.

“Can't you lift it?" Pete asked, observing the large Boulder pinning Clark down.

Clark groaned with effort, "I- I don't know, it's not," Clark pushed against the rock again. "It's not working!" his voice broke, "my powers, they're not working!"

Pete's head spun, how were Clark's powers suddenly not working?

"It's okay, I'll help."

Pete looked at his phone, no signal. He wouldn't be able to call for help. Pocketing his phone Pete went to stand by Clark, what was visible of him at least. His head, shoulders, and his right arm could move freely, everything else trapped.

"Okay, let's get you out of this."

Pete braced his hands against the rock, pushing with all of his might he attempted to free him, but all the time he spent working out and at football, it didn't matter. The boulder didn't move an inch.

Clark started to be visibly distressed, Pete sat next to him, at his eye level. He wasn't looking good. That's when Pete noticed, "Clark, Clark, you're bleeding!"

He did his best not to freak out or to freak Clark out, but in all their years of friendship, never once has he seen him bleed. He was supposed to be indestructible, right?

Clark's worried eyes found Pete's. "What's happening to me?" He asked, but Pete had no real answer.

After a while Pete started to notice Clark’s skin, it was a weird green tint, Pete had seen that before.

"Clark, doesn't the meteor rock make you lose your powers and become weak and all that?"

Clark got out a nod. "You think?"

"Yeah," Pete nodded. "This boulder is meteor rock."

They sat like that for a while, every so often Pete would get an idea, leveraging a big branch against the boulder, or digging Clark out, nothing would work.

Pete didn’t leave Clark’s side, his worry growing more tense every second. Clark’s breathing became more erratic and his pain more audible.

The evening sun was setting on them, the trees covering them from night.

Pete wondered if anyone would ever find them if his truck was working he could drive for help, but he couldn’t do that, and he didn’t dare leave Clark alone anyway.

It must have been an hour before they heard anything, a low rumble of an engine, the headlights of an oncoming car shown on the accident.

Pete ran to get their help but froze in his tracks when he saw who the driver was.

“Lex?”

Lex Luthor stepped out of his car, rushing towards Pete.

“What happened? Are you alright?” he asked, concern etched on his face as he observed the abandoned truck and pile of rocks scattered on the road.

“Uh, not exactly. My truck broke down and then...there must have been an earthquake or something because the rocks got loose,” Pete walked Lex over to the side where Clark lay, a heavy layer of sweat mixed with blood covering him.

“Oh my god, Clark?” Are you okay?” he asked squatting down to his eye level.

Clark’s distant gaze drifted over him, “Hmmm,”

“We can’t lift it. I tried everything and I can’t get a hold of anybody, no service.”

Lex nodded and tossed his own personal cell to Pete, “This should work, you should call the Kent’s.”

Pete dialed Johnathan, no answer. He left a quick voicemail just out of Clark and Lex’s earshot, “Clark’s in trouble, his powers aren’t working, I think we need help.” Pete spared another worried glance at his friend before filling him in on their location.

“Went to voicemail.” Pete informed Lex approaching the two of them.

“Well, let’s hope he checks that soon. In the meantime let’s get an ambulance up here, and, I don’t know the procedure, but a really big truck too? We have to get Clark out from there.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I know, it’s just- it wasn’t supposed to be him… It was supposed to be me, Clark saw the rocks starting to fall and pushed me out of the way, it was supposed to be me,” he repeated.

Lex came up to Pete and looked him straight in the eyes, “You can’t control what Clark does, it wasn’t your fault. You know Clark, he’s always the first to jump to save somebody.”

Pete nodded, but still feeling the overwhelming sense of guilt mixed with regrets.

Clark’s face was drained of all life, the meteor rock not helping the tint. Lex returned to Clark’s side, trying to think of something to say to encourage the kid. “You’re doing good Clark, help’s coming shortly. You’re getting out of this.”

Clark swallowed and nodded, hardly able to hear Lex over his rapid heartbeat. He never knew so much pain existed, without his skin like steel- he was open quite literally to a world of pain. Lex was unable to hide his concern, it was obvious Clark’s mental state was deteriorating, and he looked sick, like really sick. Then again the boulder was bigger than a truck, part of Lex wondered how Clark was even still alive, but he knew that as with everything surrounding Clark, there was a mystery, but quite frankly the mystery of Clark Kent was the furthest thing from Lex’s mind, only worry for his friend remained.

It wasn’t long before Pete emerged with Johnathan at his heels. He rushed to his son, unable to form any words.

“Dad?” Clark asked in between deep breaths, a calming trick Lex had shown him, it wasn’t helping much at the moment.

Johnathan smiled through his own pain of seeing his kid trapped, “I’m here.”

Clark began to break down, it had been hours since he’d been powerless against the meteor rock laced boulder that was crushing him. With his loose arm, Clark tried to cover his tear-stained face, it was all too much. “It hurts, worse than anything I’ve ever felt,” he choked out a sob.

“I know son. I’m sorry.” Johnathan squeezed his eyes shut and took Clark’s hand in his, Clark leaned into the warm pressure.

“You’re gonna be okay.”

“I can’t move- Dad, I- I can’t move,” Clark’s shoulders trembled with fear, his mind racing, he would die here. Killed by a rock. Was that all that was meant for him?

“Hey, hey, I’m here.” Johnathan repeated until Clark’s breathing started to stabilize.

Johnathan did his best to comfort Clark as they awaited the emergency responders, everyone at the accident had tried to lift the boulder, but they were no match. They would just have to wait for a truck. As Johnathan lay holding his son he thought back to when he first found Clark, he was all alone. He wasn’t now. He would never be alone again, not if Johnathan had anything to say about it. He’s so young- he had so much life left to live.

“Hey! I think help’s here!” Pete shouted overlooking the hill.

Johnathan smiled down at his son, “Do you hear that? We’re gonna get you out, Clark. You’re gonna be just fine.”

Clark didn’t respond which made Lex and Johnathan’s stomach drop. “Come on Clark, stay with me,” Johnathan said trying to control his own breathing.

Lex took a step back, he couldn’t watch his friend die. He had seen so much in his life, so much pain, his own mother, he couldn’t are to witness another person he loved die in front of him.

It didn’t take long for the equipment to be set up to get Clark out, with all the people working and now the trucks, the boulder was moved.

Clark hissed in pain from the movement, now fully aware of what was happening. Relieved from the pressure and contact with the rock Clark’s mindfully focused on the toll that such long exposure to the meteor rock had taken on him, normally it didn’t even take minutes after separating with it for him to start to heal, but Clark continued to feel worse than ever before.

His head lolled in place as they loaded him onto a stretcher, Johnathan staying by his side. Pete and Lex stood dazed in place before Lex offered to take Pete to the hospital to see Clark later. Lex flagged down Johnathan before the ambulance took off, “Mr. Kent! I want you to know that you don’t have to worry about medical bills, Clark will get the best care that is offered. “

“You really don’t have to do that,”

“I insist.”

Johnathan nodded, appreciative of Lex’s offer, but now terrified about what the Doctor could find out about Clark, but he was still human now, so Johnathan hoped that he would stay that way until they would leave the hospital.

Pete apologized to Clark for the millionth time, but Clark just continued to tell him that it wasn’t needed.

“We need to get you to the hospital now Mr. Kent,” one of the paramedics told Clark, Pete took a step back to make room for Clark’s father to join his son. Johnathan nodded a thanks to him before loading in.

Clark was already starting to look marginally better, no longer on death’s door at least. “Thanks, Dad.” he smiled. “For being there,”

“Always son,” Johnathan kept his hand comforting on Clark’s shoulder, never would he have thought that he would have to witness his son so close to death, that was one of the perks of having an indestructible alien son, no danger. But that was never Clark’s style, and Johnathan had to accept that.

“Next time you need a ride, call me.”

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elnorasims · 6 years ago

Photo

simself tag

i was tagged by the amazing @surreysimmer and @dawsim thank u lovelies :3

im not sure who has done it and i think im kinda late on the bandwagon so if you want to do it feel free to say i tagged you xo

traits: foodie, goofball, lazy [and i included my doggo bc he is my son]

You have to make a simself and put whatever you wish there, traits, anything about you. After the keep reading thingy are +100 questions I found that you can answer if you want, but you don’t have to. i’ll put it below :]

What is your full name? abbiegaile

What is your nickname? abbie, ab, abz, fannyanne [lol dont ask pls] and my last name

Birthday? december 28th binch it’s comin soon

What is your favorite book series? oof idk maybe lord of the rings and tmi

Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? maybe im too skeptical

Who is your favorite author? idk oops

What is your favorite radio station? um idk maybe capital fm or smooth radio

What is your favorite flavor of anything? coffee yum

What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? cool, amazing, ‘wow’ (also its bugging me that this font size is bigger idk how to fix it im not that tech savvy)

What is your current favorite song? i honestly couldnt choose

What is your favorite word? lol idk maybe like pipette or something

What was the last song you listened to? gold dust

What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? oof i have a lot - big mouth, south park, game of thrones and outlander

What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? i love me some rom-coms like idk maybe 10 things i hate about you

Do you play video games? yup - maybe a little too much

What is your biggest fear? the unknown (so pretty much everything lol)

What is your best quality, in your opinion? idk maybe that im approachable?

What is your worst quality, in your opinion? i over-analyse situations a lot

Do you like cats or dogs better? dogs 100 percent

What is your favorite season? either autumn or winter

Are you in a relationship? yes <3

What is something you miss from your childhood? lol this is dark and deep but not having to worry about things like i do now

Who is your best friend? my boyfriend

What is your eye color? blue

What is your hair color? it’s technically blonde n im naturally blonde but it’s gotten dark over the years so my roots are brown but i have blonde highlights and this was a complicated answer to such a simple question wow

Who is someone you love? my family, my dog n my boyfriend

Who is someone you trust? my boyfriend

Who is someone you think about often? um

Are you currently excited about/for something? christmas tbh

What is your biggest obsession? i have way too many obsessions i look at something for more than 5 seconds and im obsessed its unhealthy

What was your favorite TV show as a child? bear in the big blue house as a little kid shout out to that fkin og show

Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? boyfriend lol

Are you superstitious? boy do i

Do you have any unusual phobias? i guess i have a phobia of bellybuttons lol

Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? behind definitely

What is your favorite hobby? reading

What was the last book you read? the help by kathryn stockett

What was the last movie you watched? um idek i havent watched one in so long

What musical instruments do you play, if any? lol i wish

What is your favorite animal? polar bears

What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow? i can’t choose just 5 its impossible

What superpower do you wish you had? teleportation

When and where do you feel most at peace? in my room lying down in bed reading

What makes you smile? a lot of things

What sports do you play, if any? lol no

What is your favorite drink? caramel frappe from mcdonalds yum

When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? hm idk maybe a card if that counts for my sister

Are you afraid of heights? nah

What is your biggest pet peeve? when ppl scratch the carpet with their nails lol

Have you ever been to a concert? yes

Are you vegan/vegetarian? no

When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? a singer

What fictional world would you like to live in? id love to live anywhere in middle-earth but most likely the shire *_*

What is something you worry about? everything

Are you scared of the dark? no

Do you like to sing? yh

Have you ever skipped school? yeah...too much

What is your favorite place on the planet? my room or tokyo

Where would you like to live? somewhere peaceful

Do you have any pets? a dog called brandy

Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? a night owl def

Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? sunsets

Do you know how to drive? no

Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? earbuds r more comfortable but i prefer headphones

Have you ever had braces? no

What is your favorite genre of music? indie chill

Who is your hero? my mom

Do you read comic books? rarely

What makes you the most angry? horrible people

Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? real book

What is your favorite subject in school? psychology

Do you have any siblings? an older bro n an older sis

What was the last thing you bought? mcdonalds lmfao

How tall are you? 5′8

Can you cook? no

What are three things that you love? my fam/dog/boyfriend, cuddling up in a warm blanket on a cold night and peace

What are three things that you hate? horrible people, my anxiety and um idk

Do you have more female friends or more male friends? idk i think equal

What is your sexual orientation? i dont rlly like putting labels onto things

Where do you currently live? england

Who was the last person you texted? friend

When was the last time you cried? yesterday

Who is your favorite YouTuber? david dobrik, pewdiepie, um i also have a fkin love for like study youtubers

Do you like to take selfies? nah

What is your favorite app? idk lol i dont rlly have one

What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? ..

What is your favorite foreign accent? australian most likely

What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? tokyo

What is your favorite number? 2

Can you juggle? no

Are you religious? nope

Do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting? space but they both scare the shit out of me

Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? no way

Are you allergic to anything? no

Can you curl your tongue? yes

Can you wiggle your ears? no

How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? if im wrong i admit it

Do you prefer the forest or the beach? forest

What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? to just ‘do more of what makes you happy’ and that it’s ok to feel bad emotions it’s just important to control them

Are you a good liar? nah

What is your Hogwarts House? hufflepuff

Do you talk to yourself? yeah

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? introvert

Do you keep a journal/diary? i do if my anxiety is hella strong i like to let it all out

Do you believe in second chances? depends on context

If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? probs hand it in

Do you believe that people are capable of change? depends on context

Are you ticklish? a little

Have you ever been on a plane? no

Do you have any piercings? ears

What fictional character do you wish was real? hmm idk maybe jamie fraser from outlander

Do you have any tattoos? no

What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? to stop caring about what other ppl think of me

Do you believe in karma? sort of

Do you wear glasses or contacts? i should bc im short sighted but i cba

Do you want children? yes but not until im a lot older

Who is the smartest person you know? my boyfriend

What is your most embarrassing memory? um

Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? yes

What color are most of you clothes? black

Do you like adventures? yes if im not being lazy lol

Have you ever been on TV? dont think i have

How old are you? 18

What is your favorite quote? dont have one im boring

Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? savory

#ts4 #sims 4 #ts4 tag #simself

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labyrinthus-magici · 6 years ago

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🔥!!!

Was looking at my muse list to think of something that stood out but since I couldn’t pick one I’ll just go w something that affects a lot of them but anyway like

As an autistic person I personally thing the large majority of the magi/snb cast is autistic coded! The fandom as a whole (although it’s not just the magi fandom tbf it’s kind of all of them I’ve been in) ignores that a lot!

I have seen autistic Judar before which is VALID but it’s really frustrating when Judar and Morgiana are the only two you see (and Mor as an afterthought) bc they’re the ones with the more “stereotypical” traits (i.e Judar being antisocial/struggling with empathy which is probably due to trauma and not even his autism considering that. studies show that it’s allistic people who lack empathy for autistic people usually and not the other way around but I digress!) and I’ve been told that other characters who are autistic coded can’t be bc they’re like idk??? competant lmfao??? I don’t get when allistic people say a character can’t be autistic bc im like lmao good to know you know every autistic experience and trait! Maybe you can educate me on my own disorder that you don’t have bc you clearly know so much about it that you couldn’t possibly be overlooking something!

Anyway my muses that I intentionally play as autistic and some of their main traits are bellow the cut bc it’s lengthy (The others I’m probably going to accidentally autistic code bc I. am autistic and it affects my writing but ahiodfhg)

Morgiana: Mor is a pretty obvious one, although I do love her autistic coding! So like most of these characters but with Mor esp you have to keep in mind that she canonly has c-ptsd (post traumatic stress disorder but when it’s not a single traumatic event but living long term in a traumatic environment such as an abusive home or any other variation) so that affects how many of her autistic traits present themselves. I do think that she’s become very good at masking (i.e hiding autistic traits) due to them being punished and because of that she is exhausted because masking is very taxing. I think that she started to unlearn this considerably once she joined the caravan with Leila’s encouragement but it was subtle bc while she did become close with Leila and Sahsa she didn’t open up entirely.

Once she gets to Sindria though and starts opening up I think that she’ll relax a lot because she can see others with the same traits who don’t have to hide them. Masrur especially points out that it’s important for her to stim and because she’s not the only one who deos this, everyone is understanding and accommodating at times when she’s non verbal/not able to speak.

One thing that really stood out to me about Mor is her hyperempathy. Because she doesn’t talk much, it’s hard for some people to pick up on, but Morgiana often has strong feelings of empathy for others. At first this is something that she struggles with, because it’s something that others have taken advantage of and used to hurt her, and because she’s afraid of her emotions as a whole. Later though, she learns that this can be her strength. Morgiana’s most powerful moments (in my opinion) like when she rescued Nadja, when she confronts Alibaba about the consequences of what the fog troupe is doing, and many other instances, are very emotionally charged. She’s also the first to empathize with the pirates that Madaura has brainwashed, and is able to get the others to empathize with them too.

Morgiana was my first favorite magi character (the reason I even got into magi in the first place tbh) bc it was so empowering to see someone with many of my traits in an empowering role of a hero because of those traits and not just with them as an afterthought!

Masrur: I’m going to focus on snb just because that’s what I’m more familiar with as I haven’t read the parts of magi that Masrur is spotlighted in in a long time although honestly all of this stuff applies to Masrur later but it presents itself differently because whilst autistic people never grow out of their traits, just like anything in a person, it changes and becomes more nuanced as a person gets older and gets more experience.

But Masrur is another autistic coded character! A lot of his traits can technically be explained away by canon/plot details however in this house we don’t think that because there’s technically an argument against autistic headcanons that it’s at all valid so ANYWAY

To start we have the way he sees himself as different from others, the way he goes to sit by himself because he feels like he can’t fit in with everyone, how he’s not like them, how he’s just a monster with a single purpose that’s already been fulfilled. Normally, I wouldn’t count this exactly as an autistic trait however Hinahoho is the one that comes to talk to him because he can relate to this experience which is autistic coded so! One thing that’s a common experience in autistic people is feeling quite literally inhuman, usually in the form of an alien, fairy, or fictional character (as it was in my case). This is becuase of the isolation that we normally face in childhood. For Masrur, he feels different from the others, like who he is isn’t someone that would be wanted and that’s something that I can relate to quite strongly. It’s not until he comes to the Sindria trading company, a place full of Neurodivergent coded characters (the ones that aren’t autistic coded are coded as other disorders as well such as ADHD and BPD among others I don’t think there’s actually one person there who’s neurotypical considering that. The entire theme of the Sindria trading company is that they take in people who are outcasts and in need of help and usually those people tend to be ND.) that he comes to realize that he does belong and that he is valued.

In addition to that we do see him stimming or doing stim like behaviors at times, he sometimes is talkative and others seems mostly or entirely non verbal, he tends to misunderstand social queues, struggles with subjects that he’s not interested in, etc.

I think it’s super important to take into account Masrur’s autistic coding because Masrur gets to be HAPPY. Like, yes, he does experience a lot of traumatizing things, but by the end of Magi he still has his family, he’s happilly married and a good father. These are things that people think autistic people can’t have or don’t deserve, and we never get to experience this things in character’s that are canonly autistic. So for me seeing an autistic coded character with such a positive development was something really positive, it’s the same way for a lot of these characters, seeing so many autistic coded characters getting the development that the deserved was what drew me to magi inittially if I’m perfectly honest. I didn’t know it at the time bc I had no idea I was autistic until last year (coincidentally from autistic friends also from this fandom!) but it really was what drew me in.

Hinahoho: Oh God where do I even START with autistic icon Hinahoho? I think, out of any snb characters Hinahoho is the most heavily autistic coded. Like there is literally no other explanation for his character I can think of whenever I see him I get so happy bc I’m like!!! Yes!!!! Autistic dad!!! I love him!!!

His backstory first and foremost focuses on his separation from the rest of the people in his tribe because he has unconventional interests (art!!) and that he isn’t able to pass the test and become and adult at the proper time. To start, being a “late bloomer” in things (or alternatively doing things too soon in some cases) is a common autistic experience. A lot of us due to many reasons (mostly due to ableism and lack of accommodations) we aren’t able to do the things that our peers do at the same times like drive, attend college, or move out of the house etc. This isn’t a lack of competence just that we aren’t able to go about things in a way that we are able to thrive in, and this is exactly what Hinahoho’s development highlights! He never does pass the warrior’s test in the way that is most traditional, instead Sinbad (whose an Adhd ND icon if you ask me but I haven’t added him to my muse list yet so aidofhg more on him and the other adhd icons in this series later ahidofhg) mentions how there’s multiple ways to be strong, how he doesn’t have to do things the same way as everyone else to be worth something.

There’s also the ableism that he faces from others in his tribe. In addition to judging him for not having become a warrior yet, he is bullied by others and treated like a child when he shouldn’t be. The others are so unkind to him for being “different” and “weird” and having “a personality like a fish left to dry” (WHATEVER THAT’S EVEN SUPPOSED TO MEAN LMAO I STILL DONT GET IT) that in his introduction he starts sobbing bc Sinbad said thank you to him like. Like God can I relate to this, honestly his experiences though not exactly the same as my own deeply resemble how I was before I found out that I’m autistic.

Then, after he learns to love and accept himself and marries Rurumu (Oh!! That’s another thing, people acted like he was unlovable but Rurumu always loved him. He never had to change who he was or mask his autistic traits and that’s SO important because honestly I can’t even imagine someone who isn’t also autistic wanting me romantically especially when I see shit about people taking autistic people to homecoming and calling it “inspiring” and “selfless” and a “learning experience”) he then turns around and teaches others to do the same. I noticed that he becomes very close to both Drakon and Masrur who are both autistic coded and he helps teach them to love themselves like??? LIKE???? and with Masrur he literally points out that he can empathize so points for hyperempathy again. I’m loving how many magi characters have hyperempathy that is ultimately good. Bc it’s usually a weakness in character’s that have it.

Drakon: Honestly once again idek where to start when his entire development is deeply autistic coded but we’ll start with his backstory. So to start there’s the power imbalance between him and his (neurotypical) siblings. Whilst he is the youngest, I think that the reason that he’s unfavored in the family and is the one always catching shit is because he’s autistic. This is something that happens so often is that when an autistic child has allistic siblings the allistic one is favored or if not favored they definetely get treated better because autistic children are particularly vulnerable and easy to manipulate. With Drakon’s childhood, although again the circumstances in my case aren’t exactly the same, I really am seeing my past self.

He was from a young age branded as a prodigy, told he was already basically an adult even though he was still a child, and this is so common with autistic children who show a semblance of talent in something. However, he isn’t praised for this in a healthy encouraging way, instead he’s given the responsibilities and expectations of an adult already. In addition to that, he is conditioned to mask his autistic traits, in addition to being taught to devote his entire self to his cause. The fact that he internalized everything so deeply that he had a breakdown when he realized that he wasn’t wanting to die for his cause, that he thought he had to follow everything to the letter all the way down to his deepest feelings, is in my opinion an autistic trait as I showed exactly the same traits for other matters, internalizing things at the same intensity. He social scripts quite a bit, meaning that he has a strong sense of “this is how things SHOULD be so if they AREN’T this way then everything is in RUINS and we have to fix it IMMEDIATELY” he has the roles he’s been given and he strongly believes that everyone else has a role. This does become far more healthy once he’s unlearned the toxic things that he was taught but he still does it, but in a healthy way. Everyone has a role to fulfill, and he’s strict about this, when people aren’t doing what they’re supposed to be becomes irritable and struggles to keep functioning as normal.

Then there’s the fact that his entire development is learning as a teenager that he’s become a monster, literally in this case, learning that he is hated so much that he resolves to leave his humanity behind, only to gain love and acceptance and learn to love himself in the form that he takes. While I don’t think every monster is autistic coded (as that would be problematic for obvious reasons) developments like this resemble our experiences so well? It’s a perfect metaphor for what it’s like, honestly.

One reason I think that it’s important for me personally to acknowledge Drakon’s autistic coding is because he’s a strong leader and people think that autistic people cannot be leaders, that we’re incompetent. So to see a character with my traits be someone noble, to become king even, and to thrive is something super positive for me because again it’s something that people think we cannot do that we cannot have but we really can.

Leila, Sahsa, & Nadja: With these three it’s mostly projecting just because we don’t see enough of them for them to really be that autistic coded HOWEVER tis my blog and you get to hear all my hcs asdfgh. I like to hc these three as autistic 1. bc Leila and Sahsa’s relationship is beautiful, and to contextualize that as a romance between two autistic women is really nice for me who as I mentioned before struggles to ever see myself having a love like that. 2. Leila and Sahsa take to Morgiana and encourage growth in her and I like the idea of them helping her to relax a little on hiding her autistic traits. 3. Because as an autistic person it’s difficult for me to interpret characters as not autistic (where not autistic is other’s defaults for me autistic is the default, so it would be more accurate for me to say I have some allistic headcanons rather than autistic ones lmao) I actually started headcanoning Leila as autistic by accident because I wrote a fic where she had a shutdown (which is when there’s too much stimulants i.e sound or sights etc. and we have to go lay down and rest and shut out the stimulants that are bothering giving us sensory overload.) and was like oh!! Time to make both her and Sahsa autistic bc who’s gonna stop me lmao.

Also one headcanon I have for Nadja (in addition to her joining Leila and Sahsa’s caravan with her family) is that after Morgiana rescued her she developed a special interest in adventure and heroism which is really cute on one hand bc she always wants to learn stories of heroes from the locals of the places they visit and her parents are like aw she’s talkative sometimes! She’s making friends!!! But on the other hand she tags along on Leila and Sahsa’s “oops lmao just fought an entire band of thieves again” adventures and is that “Let me see what you have!” “A KNIFE!!” “NO!!!” vine so ahidfohg be careful u fuckin superb lil baby.

Myron: Hers is a bit shorter since we don’t have a whole lot of her in canon, but her strict following of perceived social standards and social scripting makes me headcanon her as autistic. I also like the idea of her being autistic because so often people think that we can’t be proper or socially conscious but more often than not we overcompensate, the deal is that we struggle to understand neurotypical social cues not that we hate socializing.

Titus: Oh man I shouldn’t have put him so far down on my muse list bc this one is going to be lengthy. There’s a reason whenever I info dump about my son to people that I always call him Autistic Gay Icon Titus Alexius.

I’ll start with the fact that he struggles in social settings, i.e Sphintus thinking he’s so fuckin awkward at first. (Even tho I hc Sphintus as autistic too but like I said autistic is the default for me ahidfg) He has a special interest in magic, evidently, and is very info dumpy about it as times (though not as much as notable autistic icons Yamuraiha and Ugo). Also his best friends are Sphintus and autistic adhd icon Aladdin so like. Convenient. that the three most autistic coded kids at school becomes besties. asdfgh. Also none of the 4 magi are allistic tbh.

ANYWAY that aside and glossing over the whole separation he feels from the others (which I could go into length but it’s similar to Drakon and Masrur’s and Hinahoho’s deal and this is getting so long already oof) can we just talk about how fucking POSITIVE his Hyper-Empathy is for his character and the story?

Okay so like. Let’s start with the 5th district, how after just a little while there he immediately jumped into action with LMAO TIME TO BLOW A HOLE IN THE SKY IM BUSTING EVERYONE OUT LADS. Like. Was it dumb? Yes. Was it noble and valid? YES! And he STILL SHOWED UP TO CLASS READY TO FIGHT THE NEXT DAY. He also tried to call out Mogamett how many times? And still stood his ground with the 5th district, even when Mogamett tried to manipulate him by saying he only cared out of his selfish desire to befriend Marga, he immediately analyzed himself critically and came to the conclusion that no, he really just wanted everyone there to be safe and happy.

Then, when he goes to Reim and Just. Hhhhhh HE’S SO GOOD. AND HE HAS SO MUCH EMPATHY. The fact that he immediately begins changing things, is firm in that, but his main motivation is that he so desperately wants everyone to be safe and to live happily, the fact that his people’s problems are by extension his own because he feels real pain when others feel it. That’s hyper empathy and though it’s something that can be manipulated he doesn’t let that happen, he uses it for good!

When he gives his speech about why they need to abolish slavery in Reim asap, he begins to cry and exclaims that any one of them could die tomorrow, that they need to priooritize the people that are in the now who are suffering that they have the power to help their people and to liberate their country and appeals to everyone’s emotions that way and breaks through. Also the other changes he makes?? Like making the Colosseum into a LARPing spot? That’s so fucking good? What a nerd? I love him????

I can go into more detail with Titus but for time reasons I won’t but. We stan Autistic Gay Icon Titus Alexius here.

If you read all of this I love you sm thank you for reading this rambly mess. ahdiogfg

#Outside Of Destiny《OOC》#this is so LONG #though none of the stuff under the cut is negative or a rant #it's just me rambling abt how valid all my autistic muses are #ahdifoghdfg #but anyway yes Im an autism if u don't like that like #sucks to be you I guess lmfao #saeiqas

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