#would their attraction just die or would they just deny it? hypothetical but the mind reels

[vapeman]

genuine question do lesbians and gay men stop being attracted to someone or do they misgender them in their head when they find out someone theyre into doesn’t ID as the gender they like?

[makeste]

heyy makeste, so this is a request for wish fulfilment to avoid the absolute ridiculousness of the last chapter. Neway, so we all want kacchan to apologise, that's probably the one thing the entire fandom agrees and I belive horikoshi himself has implied that it will happen (?). Okay, so, assuming a verbal apology will happen (EVEN THO WE DIDN'T GET OUR HOSPITAL TALK - HURT/COMFORT SCENE), how do you see it panning out ? I, personally, don't want it to happen in some kind of life-or-death situation, but I can't even remotely predict how an apology would now, with where the manga is, so what do you think ????

P.S: all your meta and chapter recaps are so well articulated and not to mention, f*cking hilarious, so of all the people, of course I'd ask you <3

thank you so much!! <3 and okay, so as far as my ideal wish-fulfillment apology scene, all I really require are the following two components:

a fair amount of crying (on the parts of both Deku and Kacchan, and especially me)

a hug.

that’s it. I don’t think that’s too much to ask, personally, but we’ll see how generous Horikoshi decides to be.

HOWEVER, since we’re talking about this, this might be a good time for me to bring up a thought that’s been on my mind for these past couple of weeks, and especially today what with the new volume 30 angst fuel that just dropped. so basically, here are some facts.

Deku, amidst lots of talk about the villains being after him and about him Suffering In Silence, has left U.A.

while it’s not for-sure confirmed yet, right now all signs seem to point to him being alone.

it seems EXTREMELY unlikely to me that Certain People would have approved of or consented to this arrangement! especially considering Certain People’s recent Deku-adjacent actions, which include 1) Getting Stabbed To Save Deku’s Life, and 2) Going On A Rampage Three Minutes After Waking Up In A Hospital With A Hole In Their Torso, Because They Heard That Deku Was Still Unconscious. like, I’m just saying. right now Certain People are being really protective of Deku, and I can only assume this will continue indefinitely.

Deku knows Kacchan better than anyone, and knows exactly how stubborn he can be.

Deku is also freshly traumatized from Kacchan nearly dying for him, and I’m positive that out of all the people Deku is determined to protect, Kacchan is now at the very top of that list.

but as previously mentioned, Kacchan is even more determined to protect Deku, and is absolutely not the type of person to take no for an answer.

and now here are some suppositions building on these facts.

whatever hang-ups Kacchan might have had about apologizing, I’m almost positive that having a near-death experience complete with all sorts of symbolism and flashbacks and remorseful volume covers would be more than enough to finally overcome them. in other words, an apology should have been imminent. we’re talking “the very next time I finally get to see him and speak with him” imminent.

under 99.9% of circumstances, I have absolutely no doubt that Deku would forgive Kacchan instantaneously. he would be absolutely overjoyed.

there are precious few circumstances which could ever possibly lead to the 0.1% of scenarios in which Deku does not forgive him. even if there was some part of him that did still secretly resent Kacchan in some way, it would still be extraordinarily out-of-character for Deku to deny him forgiveness, if only because he’d know how much it would hurt him. for Deku to knowingly and purposely inflict that kind of pain on someone would be unthinkable.

UNLESS -- unless -- in his mind, it was somehow a choice between sparing him pain, or saving his life.

for instance, if he had already made up his mind that he had to leave.

and if he knew that Kacchan, in his stubbornness and determination to make amends, would follow him no matter what.

and if he was convinced, somehow -- whether by the memory of Kacchan being stabbed, or by the words of a mysterious Vestige, or simply by the subdued, quietly reverberating trauma of feeling inadvertently responsible for the deaths of thousands of people -- that Kacchan would die if he stayed by his side.

then, I could see it. much as I hate to say (which, admittedly, isn’t actually that much at all, because as heartbreaking as this hypothetical would be, oh my god, the angst).

so yeah. I’ve been wondering about all of this tbh. something about the irony of all of us waiting on the edge of our seats for this, only to have it finally happen in the worst way possible. the only thing is, Horikoshi almost never does this kind of “misunderstanding” plot with his characters. I get the impression that it frustrates him. and usually I enjoy watching him subvert this trope, and seeing his characters actually communicate and improve their understanding of each other rather than doing the tired old “one step forward, two steps back” dance.

but this is also the one time I could see him subverting his own usual conventions. mostly because he already has. Izuku leaving U.A. is proof of that. it means that this is the one time that talking things out and listening to his mentors’ sage advice didn’t pay off. it means that there absolutely was some type of misunderstanding and miscommunication between somebody, somewhere. someone fucked up. because if they hadn’t, then Deku wouldn’t be out here right now standing dramatically in the wind and rescuing Shindou from being bludgeoned into a conventionally attractive pulp.

so yeah. tl;dr, what if Kacchan apologized but Deku didn’t forgive him because he thought it was the only way to stop Kacchan from potentially getting hurt for his sake. ahaha, just kidding... unless...?

[luciferist]

– how the obey me brothers apologize after a fight (pt.2)

> asmodeus

flirting’s in his nature, don’t you know?

and asmo doesn’t mean it! he’s been so good ever since you two become exclusive, he swears... :( and, well, he loves you the most, over anybody else... you should know that by now.

and you do, you really do. but you can’t help but be jealous. how could you not, seeing your EXTREMELY attractive boyfriend unconsciously make everyone he meets fall in love with him?

you decided enough was enough when he had received the sixth love letter of the week and skipped out on your after-school study session to respond to the sender personally. when he finally showed at the library, you were fuming.

“asmo, where have you been? i’ve been waiting for half an hour.” “oh, darling, remember the letter i showed you this morning? i know you told me not to go but i just HAD to personally thank my fan. plus, it’s not like i actually accepted their confession, so it’s fine, right?”

asmo dove in to kiss you on the cheek but you covered his lips and dragged him out of the library. “why don’t you just tell all of your ‘fans’ that we’re dating? they’ll stop and you don’t have to keep showing up to reject them.”

asmo looked perplexed. “what do you mean ‘why’? ‘cause their letters are SO cute! i just love getting them. they’re adorable when they come up to me with red little cheeks and run away all shy. and trust me, i have, but i guess i’m just that irresistible?” he said every word with a smile like nothing he said was wrong. you couldn’t believe him. how could he not get it?

you walked away without a word, when asmo soon followed, chirping “what’s wrong?”s like a little bird. you didn’t respond.

giving him the silent treatment all the way home, you slammed the door on him once you got to your room.

asmo didn’t understand at all, beginning to get irritated that you wouldn’t just TELL him. what did he do wrong? he was just telling the truth, it’s not like he said yes to the person :(

satan passed by and asmo grabbed him, explaining the situation and asking for advice

satan, who quite obviously wanted to leave and Not Listen, tossed out some generic advice: “hm. try imagining yourself in their shoes. how would you feel if _ continuously stood you up to hang out with one of us?”

now alone, he tried that very thing. hmm, well... if _ skipped out on a date to go see mammon or belphie... ugh! that’d make me so mad. i mean, what’s the big deal? they’re mine, not my brothers’, and they should let everyone know. everyone should know by now... i...

and asmo finally understood. it wasn’t a problem of you thinking he was cheating because in the end, you knew he was loyal, but it was a matter of everybody else knowing that he wasn’t available to anyone else, anyone but you. he belonged to you and that was that.

now how could he get mad at you for something so romantic?

knocking on your door, he began to whisper

“honey, i gave it some thought... i belong to you only. oh, well i guess i have a pact with solomon too, but i can break it off if you want me to... and tomorrow i’ll let everyone at school know really clearly that we’re together, so i’m off-limits. i’m sorry for making you feel insecure about our relationship. i’m yours and you’re mine, right? now let me in, i want to give you kisses and show you how much you mean to me.”

> beelzebub (tw: slight physical violence)

beel and you never fight. honest to diavolo, beel is the sweetest boy you’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing and has never started a fight with you

if you have a problem or you’re irritated with him, he’ll immediately sit down with you and fix it. will never go to bed with you angry with him. he just can’t stand it :(

well, unless he gets into THAT mood, that is... usually he’s good at not letting it get to that point and staying away until it was resolved

but this time was just bad.

beel saw you waiting for him after fangol practice. you began walking towards him with a big smile but he swerved immediately. he didn’t want to risk anything, especially since he was already irritated

see, usually midway through practice, beel had a small snack (a meal about the size of two people’s lunches) to keep his energy up for the rest of the session. but when he went to go eat it, it wasn’t there... because of that, he fumbled the rest of practice

after this, he was fixated on finding the culprit and making sure they never did it again. little did he know that you secretly took it out during class so he’d be extra hungry. it was friday and you wanted to treat him to a big meal at hell’s kitchen. rookie mistake, really, but you only had him in mind.

you knew he why he seemed a little angry and, thinking you were immune to his food mood swings (IDIOT), caught up to him quickly despite being avoided. “beel! okay, i’ll admit, i was the one who took your food, but-”

you should not have said that before letting him see you.

beel immediately turned around and grabbed your wrist with his eyes blazing, easily shifting to his demon form. he didn’t seem to notice it was you even though he was staring straight into your eyes. “where is it? the food you took, no, stole from me, where is it?”

you tugged and tugged, trying to take your wrist back, but to no avail, until belphie ran up, most likely called by one of beel’s teammates

“BEEL! what are you doing?!” hearing his twin, beel’s trance of fury seemed to dissipate into thin air. “huh?”

finally being able to pull away in beel’s moment of weakness, you quickly drop to the ground in fear. your wrist was aching from being squeezed so hard. you were lucky it wasn’t broken, just beginning to bruise a bit.

beel saw your face and had never felt regret so deeply in his heart ever before this very moment. i... i’m a monster. i can’t believe myself. out of fear of what you might say, he fled the scene, running all the way home and shutting himself in his room.

after that were days of awkward encounters and no speaking at all. truth be told, neither of you were actually angry at each other, but you were frightened of what the other would say, thinking THEY were mad

and so beel’s days of going to sleep thinking you were angry began.

until one night during dinner, you dropped your fork because of your bandaged wrist. beel, being the first to notice, saw you wince in pain too. seeing you in pain was something he’d never been able to stand, so out of pure instinct, he got up and ran around the table to you, gently picking your wrist up in his large hand

with the possibility that you might be angry at him now tossed out of his mind, he picked you up bridal style, excusing you and him and bringing you to his and belphie’s room, placing you gently on the bed

“ah, beel, it’s not that serious...” “no, let me wrap it up again for you. it’s... it’s my fault, after all.” moments of silence passed between you two like air while he carefully wrapped your wrist

suddenly, simultaneously, the same words came out of both your mouths: “i’m sor-” “i’m really so-” you both shut up quickly.

you spoke again first. “beel, it’s not your fault, it’s mine. it was stupid of me to take your food when i should’ve known you’d get mad. it’s my fault i got hurt, so don’t worry. i won’t do it again, i promise.” you tried to smile so he wouldn’t worry

he started shaking his head immediately once you began to speak. kneeling in front of you, beel placed the gentlest kiss onto your padded wrist.

“no, i shouldn’t have reacted like that... i need to work on it but i couldn’t help it. i’m really sorry. i would never want to hurt you. i promise i’ll never hurt you ever again.”

> belphegor

belphie would vehemently deny it with all of his soul, but in many ways, he’s similar to his dear eldest brother lucifer

ESPECIALLY in the way that he’s stubborn as heaven

it got really annoying in the way that he still held onto old beliefs and made jokes about killing off the entire human race

like c’mon man. yeah humans aren’t GREAT but they’re still your people :/

one thing led to another and the next thing you knew, you were yelling “HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF I JUST KILLED EVERYONE IN THE DEVILDOM DIPSHIT??????” and he was yelling “WELL I WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOU TRY!!!!!”

out of utter frustration, you stormed out of the room. you though he changed, you really did, but maybe humans were still a joke to him. you thought that maybe, after falling in love with you, he would see that humans aren’t too bad

and you thought he was sorry for the... unfortunate things he did to you, but maybe that was nothing too.

and on belphie’s side, he didn’t understand either

laying on his bed, he huffed out a big sigh

what’s wrong with them? it was just a joke...

beel walked in munching on a granola bar, just coming back from a workout

“what’s up, belphie? are you okay? you’re in bed but you’re not sleeping.”

belphie sat up, looking very serious. “beel, hypothetically, if _ and i were fighting because i told them all humans except them should die... what would you say?”

beel frowned, shaking his head. “that’s so mean, belphie. why would you say that?”

“HYPOTHETICALLY.”

“okay, well... humans other than _ can’t be that bad. i mean, two of them literally CREATED _. and some of them kept _ company until they met us. humans kept them alive and there are probably a lot of humans that _ loves or admires. so you can’t blame them for being mad when you joked about eradicating them.”

belphie thought and thought about this.

hey... wait a minute. you’re onto something.

out of nowhere, without even responding, belphie rose and speed-walked (he doesn’t run, it’s not cool and it’s tiring) to your room immediately

after knocking on the door, you opened it with your hands on your hips

“what do YOU want?”

belphie cleared his throat, obviously not expecting you to have opened the door so quickly.

“ah, um... sorry for what i said earlier. i didn’t mean it and i won’t say it again. but hey, i was thinking... i don’t know a lot of humans besides you. so what if we took a trip to the human world together? i can meet your family and friends and get a better feel for humans so i know better. how about that?”

part 2 done!! sorry for the delay, anon, please enjoy!! and whoops, these got longer than pt.1 >____<

[fanatic-kay]

Don’t Judge A Book By Its Cover

Pairings: Pre-romantic Prinxiety, brothers!analogicality Word Count: 1535 Rating: General Audiences Summary: Roman works at the Disney store when a shady looking person walks in.

Read on AO3 Here!

Roman Prince loved his job. Sure, the work of retail could be especially tedious at times, but at the end of the day, it was worth it. As long as he could see the young children coming in, eyes full of stars, as they tried to comprehend the overload of Disney paraphernalia staring back at them. How they would jump up and down, tugging at their parent’s sleeve before running towards something that caught their attention. How their older siblings, usually teenagers, would pretend to act cool or annoyed since they were ‘too old for this stuff’, but even they would let their inner child shine through as they perused through the racks. Sometimes they even got adults, never letting the Disney spirit die, excited to shop for themselves. No matter how old you got, everyone could relate to the excitement Disney lit in your soul. Well… almost everyone.

It was his turn to stock shelves, not that Roman minded. He was mostly left to his own devices, singing along with the music playing overhead, but sometimes a lost child or confused parent would ask him for the location of specific items.

“Thank you!” A charming young girl gushed at him as he handed her something from the top shelf.

“Of course, princess! Have a magical day!” Roman smiled, waving goodbye. He turned to return to his work, and that’s when he saw him.

Really, Roman wasn’t sure how he didn’t notice him walk in. The boy stood out like a sore thumb. Between all of the colors and happiness, he seemed to exude angst, wearing all black, like some sort of… emo nightmare. It was a punk, bad boy look. He would’ve been described as attractive by some. Roman couldn’t help but be suspicious, watching the other’s moves like a hawk. He knows he shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, Beauty and the Beast taught him that, but something about him was giving Roman a feeling he couldn’t quite shake.

He subtly watched him look around as if he were searching for something. He picked up a Lion King t-shirt, surveying it before placing it back down. His eyes, a deep brown, almost black, scanned his surroundings. His hair was dyed purple, and an eyebrow piercing glinted in the store lighting. Paired with his ripped black skinny jeans, studded leather jacket, and steel-toed combat boots, he seemed to be the depiction of ‘troublemaker’. Maybe he was trying to steal something? There was no other obvious explanation to his shifty demeanor.

Roman tried to focus back on his task while glancing at the hypothetical thief every few seconds. However, he must’ve not been as observant as he thought, as he nearly jumped out of his skin when someone cleared their throat behind him. He bit back a string of profanities when he realized it was the boy he had been watching earlier.

He mustered up his customer service smile, the one he used when he was dealing with a dragon witch of a Karen that demanded to speak with his manager, and in his best false cheer said, “Hello! Do you need any help?”

The emo raised an eyebrow unimpressed, “No, I just wanted to get your attention for the hell of it,” he snarked.

Roman immediately dropped the niceties. “You know, Hot Topic is just three stores down,” he gave him a once over, “they’re probably a bit more your style.”

“I have eyes, I can see where I am,” the other shot back. “I was just wondering if you had any Black Cauldron merch in here.”

Roman blinked, trying to process his question for a count of three before shaking his head slowly, “No, we don’t.”

He scoffed, “Figures, it’s one of the most underrated Disney movies of all time, even if it is the best.”

“Yeah,” Roman nods, “it’s a shame it doesn’t have a bigger fanbase.”

Out of nowhere, two boys, twins, Roman realized, sporting matching glasses, appeared. One attacked the emo’s middle and the other let out a long, sufferable sigh at the action. He took that as his cue to resume his restocking, involuntarily listening in to their conversation.

“Virgie! Look! I found the Winnie the Pooh stuffie! And Lo-Lo got a Baymax one!” one exclaimed. He was the complete opposite of his- older brother, presumably- dressed in a soft, pastel sweatshirt and a knee-length skirt. He pushed the stuffed bear up for him to see.

“Virgil can see that, Pat,” his twin stated. Despite the fact of being so little, he wore a collared shirt and blue necktie, like a mini businessman, though there was a light of excitement in his eyes too as he hugged his own plushie.

Virgil laughed lightly, “Patton’s just excited, let him be, Logan,” he ruffled Patton’s hair as he continued. “And it’s great, Pat. Are you both happy with what you found?” The twins nodded enthusiastically.

“Did you find what you wanted?” Lo asked, both looking up at their brother with large, expecting eyes.

“Uh, no, no Black Cauldron stuff here,” he replied, a hint of disappointment in his voice.

Patton’s shoulders slumped, “No Gurgi or Hen Wen?” he asked, sounding so upset, as if he was the one who longed for the merch instead of his brother.

Roman felt his heart drop, he did take this job to see the smiles of kids- and the discounted Disney items- but mostly the smiles.

“It’s alright, kid,” Virgil gave him a half-hearted smile. “I’ll just get something else. Maybe a Nightmare Before Christmas poster.” Patton, however, seemed unconvinced.

Roman could sense Virgil’s gaze on the wall of posters behind him. He subtly tried to follow his gaze and saw it land on the matching posters of Jack Skellington and Sally. They were limited edition, Virgil obviously had good taste. All of the posters were almost sold out, the shelf where they had been, empty. Roman had managed to nab the last one, placing it in one of his boxes to purchase once he got off of work. Was it fair? Not really. But he had wanted them really bad! They would look perfect on his wall!

Virgil chuckled humorlessly to himself, patting the space where the item would have been. “Or not.” Patton looked as if he was about to cry, clinging to Virgil’s legs. Even Logan looked mildly upset by the outcome.

At that moment, Roman realized he had royally messed up. Virgil wasn’t trying to cause trouble. He, like most everyone else, grew up with Disney and was sharing the magic with his younger brothers. He should’ve known better than to judge him by appearance. Disney was never wrong in their teachings. He made the split-second decision to help make the twins smile, and perhaps even give a proper apology to Virgil.

“I’d hate to interrupt,” Roman started, ignoring the questioning look Virgil sent him, as he crouched down to address Patton. “But did you say you liked Gurgi?”

Patton looked at him with his big sad eyes, sniffling before nodding.

“Well, we don’t have any Gurgi plushies, but,” Roman pretended to tap his chin thoughtfully before brightening as if an idea had struck him. He searched through one of the boxes he had still yet to stock, and in his, rusty, but decent Gurgi impression he said, “Munchings and crunchings in here somewhere.” This got a small giggle out of Patton, even his twin seemed to brighten at the quote. They both tried to peer over Roman’s shoulder to see what he was getting, but he blocked the view.

He grabbed the poster he had put away for safekeeping. He supposed there would always be new posters he could buy later on. He dramatically turned on his heel in his crouched position. He pulled the rolled tube into view as if he were unsheathing a sword and held it out to the twins with both hands.

Patton gasped in delight before looking down a bit confused, his enthusiasm ever-present. Logan, however, smiled in recognition. “Virge, it’s the poster!”

Roman looked up to meet Virgil’s eyes with a small smile, standing up and offering it to him. “Lucky for you, it's the last one. Worthy for a dark and stormy knight like yourself.”

Virgil’s gaze softened considerably at Roman though he rolled his eyes, a smile tugging at his lips. “If I’m the knight who’s the prince?”

He opened his mouth to speak, about to gesture to the twins when Patton beat him to it. “He is, silly!”

Virgil and Roman both widened their eyes, fighting blushes, realizing the implications of the statement. Virgil wouldn’t meet Roman’s eyes as the employee tried to remedy the situation. “I- I mean, I won’t deny that I’m a prince, but I was talking about you little princes right in front of me.”

Patton and Logan both grinned at that, as Virgil cleared his throat. “We should get going, Mom will be calling soon,” he said, rounding up his brothers and pushing them to the direction of the checkout lines. He looked over his shoulder, sending Roman a crooked smirk. “Thanks for the posters, Princey.”

Roman swore his heart skipped a beat. “You’re welcome.”

Taglist: @starry-knight-skies @space-captain-lars @viana-dascolli @wistful-wish

[crystallized-shadow]

Chapter: 1/1 Rating: Explicit Pairing: Madara/Tobirama Word Count: 1680 Warnings: Discussions of murder Summary: In a world where a dating site matches people up based on their search history Madara, a mystery writer, gets matched to Tobirama, a serial killer. Hilarity ensues. 

For @madatobiweek Day 4: Any AU

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

Checking his phone for the 10th time in just as many minutes, Madara wonders why he had given this dating service a third chance when clearly they only matched him with shitty people. The first two had been wannabe serial killers, both intent on making him victim number three. Luckily for Madara he was highly skilled in self defense; unluckily for him his rather strange internet search history made it likely guy number three would also be a serial killer, if he showed up. It was hardly his fault his search history was so sketchy, he only wrote about murders!

“Sorry I’m late,” a deep baritone murmurs, drawing Madara from his thoughts. He looks up into red eyes and for a moment Madara forgets how to speak. “You are my match aren’t you?”

“Not what you expected?” Madara asks, used to that response since most people saw the name Uchiha and expected someone more put together like his politician brother.

“You’re even more attractive than your picture.”

“Flatterer,” Madara chuckles gesturing to the open seat, “please join me Tobirama.”

“It would be my pleasure,” Tobirama practically purrs as he slides into the seat. “So tell me about yourself Madara, how did our searches match up?”

“I’m a mystery writer and I like to make sure my murders are realistic,” Madara admits with a shrug, “based on my luck so far, I’m going to guess you’re a murderer of some kind.”

“And if I am?” Tobirama challenges with a raised eyebrow, nothing but amusement on his face.

“Then I hope you’re more creative than the two wannabe killers I’ve already beaten,” Madara shoots back, “and for god's sake if you’re going to attempt to kill me after this date I’d like something more personal than a gun shoved in my face.”

“Awfully demanding when it comes to a fictional murder,” Tobirama chuckles, “but I suppose that’s how all writers are, so I’ll play along; how should I kill you?”

Madara lets his eyes travel over Tobirama’s lithe figure, lingering on the tattoos on the pale man’s face that make his eyes even more striking. “Looking at you I’d like something close and personal,” Madara smirks, “maybe your hands around my neck.”

“You do have a very nice neck,” Tobirama agrees, “but I’d much rather have my lips on it than my hands.”

“That could easily be arranged, provided you impress me on this date.”

“Now I feel like my skills are being doubted,” Tobirama says with a grin, “shall I tell you of my many hypothetical kills?”

“I figured that would off limits, one of those ‘I’d tell you but then I’d have to kill you’ type subjects.” Madara says, watching Tobirama’s grin morph into a smirk that shouldn’t be allowed to be so sexy.

“I think it’s a safe bet that if I’m really a serial killer you’re going to die anyway,” Tobirama points out, “so you might as well have some fun before that happens.”

“Want to make it big by taking down a big bad Uchiha?” Madara challenges with a smirk, “of course picking the family outcast won’t do you a lot of good.”

“Oh?”

“You didn’t know?” Madara asks, sighing when Tobirama shakes his head; he should have figured this would be the first man that had dug up every dirty secret the tabloids had published. “My entire family is in politics, I, the eldest son, decided I wanted to be a writer.”

“I can’t imagine that went over well,” Tobirama says, wincing in sympathy when Madara nods.

“My father has disowned me in every way except legally,” Madara admits, “said it would cause too much of a scandal. However it’s been made very clear that I'm no longer welcome anywhere near anyone bearing the Uchiha name. So if your murder plan involved trying to get some ransom you’ll be hard pressed.”

“I come from a family of lawyers, I’m not hurting for money.”

“That would also explain how you’re still a free man,” Madara states, sizing Tobirama up, “but enough about our families, let’s get back to what we have in common: murder.”

“Since we’re talking hypotheticals,” Tobirama begins, lacing his fingers under his chin as he observes the man before him, “if you had to kill someone, how would you do it?”

“Well that depends,” Madara says, rubbing his chin in thought, “if I don’t want to be caught and it’s likely to be a one time thing then an injection of air between the toes; it would look like a heart attack.”

“What if you didn’t care about being caught?” Tobirama presses, gazing intently at his match, “what if you wanted people to know which kills were yours?”

“Oh that’s easy,” Madara chuckles, “my signature would be a single slash across the eyes.”

“And why is that?”

“The eyes are the window to the soul,” Madara explains, passion making his eyes shine, “to gaze into another’s eyes is incredibly intimate, to rob a person of that in their dying moment is both cruel and thrilling.”

“Amazing,” Tobirama mutters, the awe in his tone making Madara blush.

“Ah, sorry,” the Uchiha mumbles, glancing down at the table in embarrassment, “probably not what you wanted to hear at dinner.”

“On the contrary, I want to hear more,” Tobirama assures, leaning forward to cup Madara’s chin, trailing his thumb over the other’s jawline. “You are truly a magnificent specimen.”

“Only a serial killer would find my murder talk normal,” Madara sighs, “I have the worst luck in men.”

“Why my dear author, I’m insulted,” Tobirama mutters in mock offense, “anyone that’s read your work would only be so lucky to hear you talk, your passion is intoxicating.”

“Aren’t you the charming bastard?” Madara chuckles, leaning into the hand still on his chin, “I have to give you credit though, you’re very good at it.”

“Well if that’s the case, perhaps I can tempt you into skipping right to dessert at my place then?” Tobirama tugs Madara forward and claims his lips in a searing kiss that drives all thoughts of saying no from Madara’s mind.

“Sounds absolutely deadly.” Madara grins, allowing himself to pulled to his feet and lead from the restaurant.

The door slams shut moments before Madara’s back crashes into it, a hand around his throat.

“You wanted close and personal,” Tobirama growls against his ear, “how’s this?”

“Not nearly close enough,” Madara shoots back, moaning when a knee brushes against the bulge in his pants.

“We should do something about that,” Tobirama mutters, the hand not gripping Madara’s throat making quick work of freeing the writer’s painfully hard cock, trailing feather light touches along the length.

“Tease,” Madara moans breathily, pleasure zinging through his blood when the hand at his throat squeezes hard enough to restrict his airway. He was completely at the mercy of this likely serial killer and that thought had Madara high on the endorphins flooding his system.

“Are you objecting to me fucking you right here?” Tobirama chuckles, releasing Madara long enough to to spin him around and press him face first into the door.

“Not if you hurry the fuck up!” Madara snaps, bracing his hands against the door as his pants and underwear are yanked down.

“You should never rush a serial killer,” Tobirama advises fishing a packet of lube out of his pocket before pressing a coated finger deep into his willing victim, “we like to have our fun.”

“Called it,” Madara groans, pushing back into the sudden intrusion, “so the sex better be worth it.”

“It will be,” Tobirama promises, quickly stretching Madara, he could tell the writer liked it on the rougher side, but he still didn’t want to hurt him too bad.

Madara moans loudly as one finger quickly becomes two then three, eagerly thrusting back once his prostate is found and mercilessly prodded. Later he’ll deny the embarrassingly loud whine that escapes him when the fingers suddenly disappear.

“Hush pet,” Tobirama purrs as he pushes his own pants down just enough to free his cock. Pressing into Madara’s personal space, Tobirama snaps his hips forward as his hands drop to Madara’s hips, fingers digging into the sensitive flesh hard enough to bruise.

“Fuck!” Madara exclaims as he’s yanked back to meet the next brutal thrust, “just like that!”

Tobirama chuckles at the writer, shifting the angles of his thrusts until a yowl of pleasure tells him he’s found Madara’s prostate again. Aiming solely for that spot, Tobirama picks up the speed of his thrusts as he leans forward, nosing through the wild mane of hair until he can sink his teeth into the back of Madara’s neck.

“Tobirama!!” Madara practically sobs, wave upon wave of pleasure crashing over him as he claws uselessly at the door, attempting to ride them out.

“So good,” Tobirama murmurs, trailing biting kisses along the writer’s neck until he can nip at the other’s earlobe, “you take me so well pet, I just might have to keep you.”

“Please!!” Madara begs, not sure what he wants, just knowing Tobirama can give it to him.

Tobirama smirks against Madara’s jaw, sucking a mark there as one hand slides around to stroke Madara’s cock in time with his borderline violent thrusts.

“Tobirama!!” Madara cries as his release splatters door only a few thrusts later, the sudden clench of muscles dragging Tobirama down with him. For a second both men just pant, too tired to even move yet. Just as the killer pulls out, he feels a finger jab into his stomach.

“If I stabbed you,” Madara mutters, his words slurring as he yawns, “how long until you bleed out?”

Tobirama considers the factors involved as he straightens up his clothing. “About five minutes,” he finally says with a chuckle, carefully pulling Madara close; there was no way he was going to let his favorite writer get away now.

“Thanks,” Madara mumbles, sleepily snuggling into Tobirama’s chest, “my next killer’s gonna be you.”

“I’m flattered,” Tobirama smiles, pressing a kiss to Madara’s forehead as he takes the other man to bed.

[hummingbirdsalt]

Mag7 - Time Traveler AU

I really love the idea of Faraday being a time traveler, but in a universe where time traveling is an unexplained ability that some people are just born with.  In this AU I picture Faraday living in modern times while the rest of the seven still exist in the past.  This post is just gonna be a bunch of details and general ideas about this 'verse.  :P  

There’s no clear reason why anyone is capable of time travel, and those who are often discover it by accident when they're young.  In Faraday's case, I imagine that when he's around 10 years old, his dog runs out into the street and gets hit by a car.  In all the shock and pain of the moment, his mind makes a desperate plea to turn back time and stop his dog from dying.  He doesn't expect anything to actually happen, but the world shifts and reverses around him.  He stares incredulously as his dog springs up from the ground and moves backwards, coming to a stop at his side.  Overwhelmed with surprise, young Faraday doesn't have the presence of mind to stop his dog from darting into the street for the second time.  He’s left shaken and confused, and the only clear thought in his mind is that he can't let his dog die.  Whatever just happened needs to happen again.  So with one little thought, the world bends around him, and this time he holds firmly to his dog, watching in fascination as a familiar car rolls by without incident.    

Over years of experimenting with the ability, Faraday learns that while he can travel back as far as he likes and return to his own present, the future always remains out of reach.  He even tries going mere seconds forward, but with no success.  

He learns early on that no one else is aware of time moving unnaturally, and hasn't figured out a way to make anyone aware.  If he tries to hold onto someone while shifting time, they just get caught up in the shift no matter how hard he tries to focus on keeping hold of them.  This limit in his ability becomes less relevant as he grows more hesitant to form close relationships.   

While he'd been able to reverse his dog's death, he finds himself unable to reverse anything that happens to his own body.  Injuries remain, and whenever he returns to the present, he's older than he ought to be, whether it's by minutes or months.

 Eventually, he begins to come across other time travelers.  Some are curious history geeks, some are people just trying to fix mistakes in their own life, and some... some have more extreme ideas.  It's with a great sinking feeling that Faraday realizes every philosophical discussion he's ever heard about going back in time to prevent terrible events and potentially screwing things up even worse are far from hypothetical.  It hadn't ever really occurred to him, as he'd never desired to mess around with anything that could be so catastrophic, and he hadn't known about other travelers.  

He also discovers that while there are some who cause chaos, there are others who seek to keep things balanced, if far from perfect.  He meets a woman who describes how she's able to sense moments in history that feel off, and she doesn't simply mean that they feel wrong.  Countless occurrences in the history of the world are wrong, but she can tell when certain things are the result of a meddling time traveler.  Not every result of that sort of meddling is harmful, in fact most aren't, but some leave things terribly unbalanced and tilting towards utter chaos.  She, as well as many other travelers, do their best to correct these imbalances.

Faraday, out of curiosity more than anything, asks her if she can teach him how to sense that sort of thing.  She tells him it's something that comes quite naturally to any time traveler, but most don't even think to attempt it.  Not long after, Faraday is sharply aware of a great number of moments spread all throughout history, some of them jumping out like unexpected colors in a pattern, strange but not necessarily unwelcome.  Others, however, spike out aggressively in his mind, seeming misplaced and dangerous.  It's the danger that makes Faraday interested, and he's curious as to how one even goes about balancing the universe.  With a shrug, he shifts time to find out for himself.    

It becomes a regular thing for him, finding and fixing moments that don't belong.  His motivation isn't exactly altruistic, but it's not entirely selfish either.  While he's happy to play a small part in preventing the world from being twisted into a chaotic, destructive jumble of nonsense, the continued urge to do it is based more in the guarantee of excitement.  Nearly every moment or event that needs fixing offers up one hell of an experience, often filled to the brim with risks.  Faraday can't get enough of it, and he's always looking for the next adventure. 

One potential adventure, an off balance incident in a town called Rose Creek, has his interest almost immediately.  For one thing, due to the location and time period, he knows he'll get to play cowboy if he goes.  In his travels, he's acquired a diverse knowledge and skill with firearms, and he's done plenty of horseback riding.  Plus, he can't deny how much he enjoys it when he gets to put together a badass ensemble for a journey to the past.  He's online looking at hats and holsters before he's even researched the circumstances he may be involving himself in.

When he does eventually focus in on Rose Creek to see what sort of mess he's dealing with, he can sense it wasn't a deliberate change but rather one result of some unrelated meddling.  He could follow the trail backwards and see what caused the chain of events, but he usually avoids going about things that way.  There's always a chance that the traveler who meddled with the initial moment is still around and might undo all his work afterwards.  He finds it better to focus on the moment things really start to go off balance, and work from there.  It's usually more dangerous that way, and a hell of a lot more fun.

This is a spot where things get kinda sketchy, because I'm not certain of the reason/s for things being off balance in Rose Creek.  I definitely imagine things going terribly for the townsfolk and the rest of the seven, but I'm not really sure why.  Part of it is that I think taking any of the seven out of the fight would change things dramatically, especially since only three of them make it out in the film.  But at the same time, I'm not even going by canon, because in this 'verse I imagine they were all supposed to make it out alive before being affected by some random chain of events.  So I don't know what I'm doing, but basically, Faraday's objective is to make sure we all get the Nobody Dies Ending.  :P 

I can't decide if I prefer Faraday being able to teleport to a certain location when traveling in time, or him having to physically go there beforehand.  I think it'd be a good limit on his abilities, but I also love the image of him standing in his apartment in a cowboy getup.  Either way, he gets where he needs to be, traveling back earlier than he needs to so he can settle into his surroundings. 

It turns out that settling in mostly consists of drinking and playing several lucrative rounds of poker.  He manages to get himself a horse with his earnings, though he doesn't have to pay much as the stable owner is glad to be rid of what he calls "a goddamn beast from hell".  Faraday prefers the name Jack.  

When Chisolm comes into the saloon one day, Faraday is keen to be on his good side, so he doesn't hesitate when the man sitting next to him goes for his gun.  He pulls out his own gun, knowing Chisolm will take note if he has his back.  The whole scenario, a lone badass shooting up a saloon, probably has Faraday feeling more giddy than he ought to.

A little later on, Faraday is keeping an eye on Chisolm, focusing in close when he sees a woman approach him with great purpose.  He gets near enough to hear some of their conversation, and it doesn't take long for him to confirm that it pertains to Rose Creek.  Cue Faraday attempting to be subtle as he stands leaning on a post, right in plain view as if to say, 'Wow, crazy how this woman's asking your for help and this dude who totally had your back earlier is just standing here with nothing better to do than tag along'.  He doubts all of that is coming across, but he'll definitely be noticed.

Basically, Chisolm recruits him, and things are set in motion.  We're gonna skip ahead a little here, because let's be real, this entire AU is just another way to imagine Faraday/Vasquez unfolding.  :P  Not that I'm disinterested in his interactions with other characters, because I think it's cool to consider what kind of dynamic modern!Faraday would have with the whole group.  While I do think he'd put on some sort of a persona for the setting, I imagine he'd still come across differently than canon!Faraday, since he's someone from a different time with totally different experiences.  But onto Vas, because we're several paragraphs deep into this nonsense and I haven't even mentioned him.

Faraday likes him the moment he's close enough to see him, or at least he very much likes what he sees.  He dismounts a bit unsteadily as Sam and Goodnight have their reunion, finding that he's still in a bit of a drunken haze.  One thing stands out clearly in the haze, though, and that's how unfairly attractive the man standing across from him is.  At this point, it makes me laugh to think of Faraday being a bit more drunk than he realizes and slurring out something really stupid like, "Come here often, amigo?" which doesn't even make sense in the situation and would be a terrible line in any century and Vas would just be like ?? ? ? ?????  But honestly, I can imagine their first interaction going several different ways.  The point is Faraday has the hots for him immediately.  

I imagine things become flirtatious between them, in a barbed, challenging sort of way.  Faraday is no stranger to flirting with people from the past, but he doesn't often come across the type who can give him shit and leave him feeling strangely charmed in even the shortest of conversations.  Vasquez senses something odd about Faraday from the very beginning, and can't help feeling intrigued.  The man exudes a level of confidence Vasquez doesn't quite feel from any of the others, as if the chances of everything going horribly wrong don't weigh on him as much as they should.  Of course, he has no way of knowing that the only thing Faraday has to worry about is keeping himself alive, as he can easily reverse things and try again if one of the others gets killed.  

Honestly, the whole battle of Rose Creek is such a jumbled mess in my mind.  This 'verse gives me so many options for how things could go down, and I can't make any clear decisions.  Most likely, Faraday has to go through it multiple times and work out the kinks.  One scenario I like to imagine, for temporary angst reasons, is one where Faraday has extreme difficulty reworking the battle to end without Vasquez dying. Like, after several adjustments, Vasquez keeps ending up dead and Faraday is faced with the possibility that this is a moments in time that can't be fully repaired.  But of course he does eventually succeed, and it takes everything in him not to basically tackle Vas to the ground out of relief.

Another scenario is where Faraday pretty much does the same thing he did in the film, but manages to make it out alive.  When he wakes up with multiple gunshot wounds and several other injuries that all seem to be fighting over who gets to make him cry more, he thinks he should probably get himself to a time with better medical care.  But time traveling takes energy, and he's finding it difficult enough to keep his eyelids from drooping.  Only after he's healed up some does he travel back to the present (and this is where it'd really work best if he could simultaneously teleport whilst time traveling) and get himself to a hospital to be looked at properly.  I like to think he always goes to the same hospital and they just know him as the weird dude who always has strange, unexplained injuries.  

While he's already accomplished what he needed to in Rose Creek, Faraday doesn't like to leave without a trace if he feels the people he's leaving deserve better than that.  The six men he'd fought with certainly deserve some sort of goodbye, and though he won't admit it to himself, he finds the idea of leaving Vasquez very difficult.

When he returns to Rose Creek, he feels significantly better, though he still has plenty of healing to do.  He climbs into bed, figuring he needs rest anyway so he might as well get it in a place where he can bid farewell to his companions.  He expects they're all itching to get a move on and go their separate ways, and have only been waiting until he healed up well enough to where they could be sure he wouldn't die a lonely death.  What he doesn't expect is Vasquez coming into his room with a dark look on his face, greatly contrasting the easy smile he usually wears.  He doesn't expect Vasquez to start ranting angrily about how reckless he'd been almost blowing himself up, explaining that he couldn't bring himself to say all of this earlier when he hadn't been certain Faraday would survive his injuries.  He doesn't expect Vasquez to care so goddamn much that he'd almost died.  And he certainly doesn't expect the man to sit down next to him on the bed, his expression growing softer as his hand settles gently on top of Faraday's shoulder.  He thinks he probably needs to stop trying to figure out what to expect when Vasquez tells him quietly, "I thought I was going to lose you, güerito."

Faraday has interacted with a lot of people in his lifetime, often in situations where emotions ran high, but no one has ever made his chest ache the way it does when Vasquez says those words to him.  He doesn't like to get too invested in people when he knows full well he doesn't belong in their life, or their time for that matter.  He hadn't been too worried about Vasquez, thinking a man on the run from the law would be quick to move on.  But now, staring into his eyes, Faraday can see things are not as simple as he'd hoped.  He knows he shouldn't complicate things more, and that's precisely what he tells himself.  As he reaches towards his shoulder to place his hand on top of Vasquez's, he tells himself to stop, but the thought is drowned out by the pounding in his chest.  His fingers curl slightly over Vasquez's hand, and he replies softly, "I'm sorry, Vas."  

When Vasquez's lips press against his, there's a small part of Faraday still attempting to stop what's happening, but how in the hell is he supposed to pay any mind to that when he's so busy running his fingers through Vas's hair?  So busy holding him closer and reveling in the way he feels, the way he tastes.  One kiss, and he's well out of control, totally lost in how much he's been wanting to do this.

They don't do more than kiss, though the only thing stopping them is that Faraday is physically far from able.  But Vas settles down beside him, holding him gently while Faraday's arm circles around to hold him as well.  Vas falls asleep first, and lying there consumed by his own thoughts, Faraday can do nothing but panic in silence as he feels himself falling for a man who happens to be in completely the wrong time period. 

I have it in my mind that so far in his life, Faraday has had several flirtations with people from different times, and probably a couple physical relationships where neither person involved was looking for more.  But not once has he faced the possibility of someone loving him in that way, let alone someone from the wrong century.  Things only get more complicated when the rest of the seven decide they’re gonna stick together, and they invite Faraday to join.  Somehow, he’d let himself grow closer to all these men than he should’ve (much closer is Vas’s case), and returning to the present suddenly feels impossible.   

So I have several more thoughts about this AU, but in this post I mainly wanted to lay out the basics and get to the point of Faraday falling for Vasquez, as well as realizing he’d become friends with all of them without meaning to.  I love it when a character feels simultaneously out of place and also right where they belong.  But anyway, that’s all I’ve got for now!  ^_^

[pepperpatrol]

Sometimes being bi and dating a man almost feels even more invisible than being in the closet.

Not bc of Matthew, mind you, bc I think he more or less fully understands the concept of my not being straight and still being attracted to him. I mean, you can kind of expect a guy who does circus tricks and plays with fire as a side hobby to be a little alternative?

But I mean when I was single there were ppl who implied that bi ppl just need to pick a side or don’t belong in LGBT groups and I feel like now that I have a significant other who is very conveniently a man I should just stop trying to convince people I’m valid. 

I dunno. It’s just frustrating. Like I made friends with some of his friends and they’re gr8 but they’re very devout christians and they’re all “Nicole ur so gr8 ur an atheist that I can talk about religion to without you scoffing” but like...That’s when you’re being reasonable?

Like I don’t wanna debate creationism vs evolution with you bc ur misinformed and your argument stands mostly on trying to make ME follow your religion or respect ur statement than my 100 years of scientific process is just as worthless and ur shitty book. That’s where my tolerance ends. I was raised christian and I left it behind for a reason and one of those reasons is that there are sects of Christianity that literally want to kill me. Maybe it’s not yours, but what has your church done to stop Westboro? These ppl don’t want to give the other cheek or love the sinner they want me to die. 

Every time I start to feel comfortable enough to maybe come out a little more and be a little more open and genuine I remember that if I slip up in the wrong place I’ll die. I don’t want to die bc I wanted to kiss girls I never got to kiss in the first place what the fuck? But this is like the constant background radiation of my life. “I don’t care if ur gay” I mean I can tell bc you don’t like to acknowledge it either.

They just don’t seem to understand that when their argument is “sure let ppl discriminate based on religion but then they can’t sell anything to anyone bc everyone is a sinner” they’re still like ur state of being is a sin. You didn’t do anything but exist. Welcome to hell. I guess they’re of the mindset that everyone is a sinner but like...Everyone else gets to do a thing to be a sinner and I guess in their mind my being is just made of sin. I am special and get to sin without actually doing anything. So hypothetically, if i were a perfect person, I would still be a sinner in their eyes bc I would let Gal Gadot do whatever she wanted to me. They just don’t get that when they talk about it it is a philosophical concept in which “I believe” is a valid argument but when I am talking about it it’s an actual, lived fact of my life. Unless I remain a passing good girl, unless I continue to deny my feelings and hold in jokes and never share a huge part of myself with the ppl who supposedly like me, they are talking about discriminating against me.

Yeah you met me through my boyfriend but I am not straight and honestly Matthew is part of a very exclusive group of men I’ve been attracted too and he’s surrounded by a wall of vaginas. I might have only ever dated men but that is because I’m a fucking coward. Because I know, I have always known, that if I ever, publicly express affection of a romantic kind for a woman, I could fucking die. I can hold Matthew’s hand and I can lean on him in public and I can kiss him goodbye and it’s not political, it’s not dangerous it’s just me being in love with someone. I can’t calm down from my intense fear of mortality or, more accurately, brutality to successfully flirt with a women let alone be in a relationship with one. I feel like I’m still in the closet sometimes and I don’t think ppl who invalidate the “passing” ppl bc they have the ability to pass understand what it’s like for it to not matter how outspoken or firm you are in reminding ppl you aren’t actually what you appear they still act like you are.

I don’t want to be straight I just don’t want to be afraid.

[spiritualtacticscom]

“Love yourself, accept yourself, Forgive yourself”

Spiritual Tactics “Love yourself, accept yourself, Forgive yourself”

Love yourself, accept yourself is a phrase we all come across in our lives. Once you try doing something bad with yourself and there would be of plenty of people around you. They would be pounding this sentence in your ears. But they actually mean it?

Do you actually understand the depth of this statement?

Do you even understand your own worth?

Looking Around:

All our lives, we make ourselves depressed by always finding someone good or better than us. It could be a billionaire, a model, an actor/actress or just a beautiful girl / handsome boy in your circle. But who is going to love you? Who is going to accept you? If you don’t love yourself and accept yourself?

Some painful discoveries:

We cannot close our eyes to the fact that there would always be someone prettier, richer or dashing around us. Open your eyes, accept this fact. There is no denying of this. But look at this fact the other way around. We keep on telling ourselves stuff like:

Oh, that girl’s face is so photogenic.

Man o man, he is so handsome.

God, How devilishly clever he/she is?

How adorable he/she is?

Yes these things are true but look at yourself. Look at how unique you are. You might have issues with your looks. But there might be someone who is dying to look like you. Someone might wish to be more heighted. But there would be plenty of people around who would want to get as tall as you are.

Embracing yourself:

Just close your eyes, think for one minute. Are you ready to give up on your uniqueness? I tried doing it and I realized that I wouldn’t want to be anyone else. Because I love I and I accepted myself. I have to as no one else would be kind enough to do that for me. I would never want to give up on who I truly am.

I saw a wonderful animated movie where a girl was different. She did not fit anywhere. She got thrashed by her family for being herself. But what was truly motivating about her was that she never gave up on herself. Her grandma told her:

You are your father’s daughter

Stubbornness and pride

Mind what he says but remember

You may hear a voice inside

And if the voice starts to whisper

To follow the farthest star

That voice inside you is who you are….

These words were so moving, actually she was being taught to embrace herself. Like I am telling you to love yourself and accept yourself.

The delicacy and severity of loving and accepting yourself:

This might sound something normal and not severe to many people reading it. But this is actually very serious as it is just an initiation. Initiation of what? Let me tell you with a hypothetical situation. A girl may start by thinking that she is not as beautiful as one of her class fellow. She might try doing make up, copying her and try looking like her. As time goes by, she will start to think that make up will not do her good all her life. So she considers going to a plastic surgeon and giving up on who she is.

I have seen people hire designers, make-up artists, models to teach them how to be like them. Thus, giving up on their originality. They say: “You are born original, don’t die as a copy”. And they also say: “Be yourself”; “Be Original” etc. etc. You are not just to read all this in mags and books but acknowledge Self-Love.

You are worthy:

I am making this love yourself motivational speech to make you realize your worth. You are wonderful because there is no one out there just like you. I mean it. You are unique, you are one of a kind, you are worthy of being saved in your original form.

Why would you want to change for the satisfaction of others? Or to fulfill the standards of others? It is said: “You are not born to impress every person on this planet.”

Read Forgiveness does not require Reconnection

Change is acceptable only when you do it to improve your personality. You may choose to bring in a little flexibility in yourself after learning from your mistakes. But changing yourself to impress others is an injustice to yourself. So, save yourself, be who you are.

Things to do:

Give yourself some treats and love being yourself. Take yourself on dinner dates. Go and watch movies all alone. Treat yourself with spa time. Get a car and Travel to far off places, whatever places you love. Indulge in yourself. Learn to love yourself. Give yourself a love yourself motivational speech. Or you can write a love yourself essay whenever needed.

You can try writing notes of encouragement for yourself. Whenever you finish a book, leave a little token of appreciation in books. Years later, when you open it, it will make you smile for sure.

Own It:

Robert Morley said: “To Fall in Love with yourself is the First Secret to Happiness”. Just accept and live up to the fact that yes, you are different but you own it. Just accept it that you are not perfect. You have your mistakes, challenges, unique features, and flaws. But don’t ever let these things stop you from loving yourself and accepting yourself. It is said: “Be weird, your strangeness is your magic”.

Just imagine, if every person in the world started being perfect, there would be no beauty left. Diversity is a gift, not a curse, we should know this best of all. Know that what you are, no one else can ever be that. You are you and that is what makes you beautiful.

Start to see things from a little bit of a different angle, starting today. You might not be the loveliest and adored in the class but then you might be the genius one. Can you imagine how many of your class fellows would take pains to get as good grades as you? It is quite possible that you lack one thing. But look at things that are unique to you and you alone.

It does not matter if you are a nerd, or a football player or a reader or the most attractive. You are you, own it, and just own it. It is your choice. You may choose to change yourself or you may choose to be yourself. But remember: “It is the choices that makes us who we are”.

They say: “Love yourself first because that is who you will be spending the rest of your life with”.

In a nutshell, I would again ask you to just be yourself. Let people see the real, imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful, magical person that you are (Mandy Hale). As far as people are concerned, they will also learn to adapt to your personality. Their thinking will also evolve as everything changes with time. So,

Stop Rejecting Yourself,

Embrace Yourself,

Love Yourself,

Accept Yourself.

Know that you matter, you are so loved, and you are worthy and that you are magical. Know that you are a miracle as there is no one else like you here, there or anywhere else so,

“Love Yourself, Accept Yourself, Forgive Yourself”.

“Love yourself, accept yourself, Forgive yourself” Dean Azulay

from Spiritual Tactics https://ift.tt/2F5X4R4 via IFTTT https://ift.tt/35a2Snf

[shirlleycoyle]

How Censorship Created Porn’s New Face of Pleasure

Welcome to Rule 34, a series in which Motherboard’s Samantha Cole lovingly explores the highly specific fetishes that can be found on the web. If you’ve thought of it, someone’s jerked off to it.

The links in this article may be considered NSFW.

*

"I know it when I see it."

That's how United States Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart famously defined obscenity during a 1964 trial that would decide whether the state of Ohio could ban the public showing of a hard-core porn.

But when you see a woman with her eyes crossed and strings of spit dripping from her gaping mouth, do you "know it"? Riley Reid, one of the most popular porn performers in the world, dabbles in it. Wildly popular internet personality Belle Delphine did it, a lot.

But ahegao—the gagging, drooling face made popular by hentai—started long before either of these performers began experimenting with it. And as a fetish, it's still considered taboo by some.

In Japanese, ahegao translates as an onomatopoeia mashup of panting (as in, "ahe ahe") and "gao," or face. It's different from the more natural ikigao, which means "orgasm face." It's more outlandish. Few people having real sex and experiencing a real orgasm pull the face ahegao girls do, which is part of its allure; It's a juiced-up parody of an O-face. Like so many aspects of porn, it's greatly exaggerated and unrealistic.

In a different context, there's nothing technically sexual about the hentai facial expression known as ahegao. It's definitive features include crossed eyes, flushed cheeks, and a lolling, drooling tongue—and on their own, none of these are explicit. A face that looks like this could plausibly represent anything: someone in pain, or extreme ecstasy, or lusting after a really good meal.

But even if you're a very, very offline adult, you can look at an ahegao face and know something else is going on outside the frame. And from ahegao's origins, that's by design.

"Censorship made ahegao come into being"

In her highly influential 1989 book Hard Core, film and pornography scholar Linda Williams explored the idea that a woman's orgasm is invisible: that for men, in porn at least, you can rarely deny that they're cumming. There's jizz everywhere. For many adult films, that's the whole point: the "money shot."

But for onlookers, evidence of a woman's orgasm isn't in the genitals. It's in the sounds she makes, or the movement of the rest of her body, or especially, her eyes and face. It's a lot harder for a penis-haver to fake a mind-blowing orgasm than it is for a woman. In ahegao, the idea is that the experience is beyond fakery: she's cumming so hard that she's lost all control of her face.

"In Japanese adult video as in manga, there is an art to expressions of pleasure on the face, and ahegao works as the displaced climax, or the loss of self and mind in moment of overwhelming pleasure," Patrick Galbraith, professor at Senshi University in Tokyo, told me. Ahegao is an example of Williams' expressions of female orgasm, he said.

Thomas Baudinette, lecturer in Japanese Studies at Macquarie University in Sydney, Australia, told me that ahegao may have its earliest origins in late 1990s or early 2000s Eromanga, pornographic magazines for heterosexual male audiences. From there, it's spread in Western culture—but it's roots are in erotic artists' workarounds for strict censorship laws.

In Japanese obscenity law, a person who "distributes, sells, or displays in public an obscene document, drawing or other objects" is punishable with up to two years in prison or a 2,500,000-yen fine. Censorship of pornography and hentai in Japan is a huge cultural issue—so much so that politicians include the issue in their campaign platforms.

"Pornography producers in Japan have interpreted this law as requiring the censorship of the sexual organs and pubic hair, which are typically obscured in video and manga pornography through the use of mosaicking," Baudinette said.

Penatrative sex becomes a lot more difficult to portray if you can't show a penis entering a vagina, so artists had to get creative. "Ahegao was born out of the need to show bodies in pleasure within a context where it is difficult to draw penetration," he said. "Censorship made ahegao come into being."

Just as we have censorship to thank, in part, for tentacle porn, we have it to blame for ahegao. And some adult performers have it to thank for discovering a whole new fanbase.

"Remember to drool"

On her Instagram, Tira Part leans into the camera in what seems like unbearable anticipation.

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🍭 ecchi till I die, all these shorty’s call me… #senpai #waifus #tirapart #ahegao #princess #ahegaoface #ahegaogirl #weeb #anime #girlswithpiercings 🍭

A post shared by Tira Part (@princesstira.chan) on Dec 27, 2019 at 11:26pm PST

Part, who is one of the most popular ahegao performers on Pornhub with 30,500 subscribers, told me that her fans enjoy this "mind break" fantasy. "They like to see when tongues hang out and eyes cross/roll back in sheer ecstasy," she said. "Whoever makes the face is enjoying themself so much they lose control of their moans and expressions. All they can do is pant and cross their eyes, and that's really attractive."

"The face is basically just an over-exaggeration of an orgasm or being banged brainless," adult performer Littlerosexo, who frequently does cosplay and camming with her fiance, told me.

The first time Elisabeth Weir—who's racked up more than 43,600 subscribers on Pornhub—encountered ahegao was in 2016. She started doing what she only knew as "weird" faces to be silly, but her fans loved it.

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#kawaii #kawaiigirl #kawaii🌸 #kawaiiaesthetic #pink #pinkaesthetics #pinkfeed #lewd #stockings #可愛い #可愛い💕 #ahegao #ahegaoface #blonde #bimbofashion #bimbo #bimbodoll #dollyfashion #tongue #アヘ顔

A post shared by 🌸megaplaygirl🌸batsxlizard🌸 (@megaplaydoll) on Jun 2, 2019 at 2:53pm PDT

"I was surprised that some people find it not only entertaining but also HOT," she said. So many people requested it, she had to add it to her cam show requests list on OnlyFans: 20 tokens (around $1) to see her do it during a live show, and for adding ahegao to a custom clip, that'll be $15 extra on top of the clip price. "People wanted to see me performing it and were ready to pay."

Weir's advice for a great ahegao: "Ideally you need to think about your best orgasm but make it 1000 times stronger," she said. "So strong that your eyes started rolling/crossing and you can't control your mouth so tongue sticks out."

Littlerosexo also first encountered ahegao thanks to a fan who requested it. She had to look it up, but was excited to try it.

"You definitely have to be serious about making it 'believable' but also silly enough to have fun with it," she said. "And remember to drool! The most helpful thing for me to run through my mind while doing it is literally repeating 'NYAAAAAAA' in my head over and over. But there's definitely some internal giggling that goes between that."

"Somebody think of the children"

Unfortunately, we can't talk about ahegao without addressing the infamous "ahegao hoodie."

According to Know Your Meme, in 2015 a collage of hentai characters by manga artist Hirume started circulating online. Someone put it on a bunch of apparel—hats, phone cases, shirts, and more—in 2016, and from there it made its way to mass-production custom design shops like Redbubble. In May 2017, a Reddit user posted a photo of someone wearing a different ahegao collage design, this time on a hoodie. That hoodie is the one that's become notoriously controversial. It's still on eBay.

This thing has been banned by anime conferences, as it's widely derided as featuring faces from shota or loli—depicting minor characters in sex acts.

Last year, organizers of the SunnyCon Anime Expo made an announcement: Clothing depicting ahegao would not be welcome at their convention.

"Going on attendee feedback, people wearing ahegao made the majority of attendees uncomfortable especially those with children at the event," a spokesperson for SunnyCon told me. From their personal standpoints, they don't see anything wrong with ahegao, especially in a controlled, adult environment, they said. But SunnyCon—held annually in the UK since 2010—is an all-ages event.

"Despite there being no porn on show, it is still taken from 18+ content and some of the faces also can be considered underage as well," they said. Hypothetically, they said, a concerned parent who knew the context of ahegao could claim that SunnyCon exposed their child to mature material. "This would result in police being called and with them informed of the context it would spark up a powder keg of legal issues," they said. They imagined a whole chain of horrifying events taking place at their expo: the wearer being dragged out of the event and charged as a sex offender, the organizers losing their venue and tens of thousands of attendees.

"Given the potential legal ramifications it's not as simple as 'somebody think of the children' or 'it's just some faces,'" they said. "People with these types of attitudes need to realise that events are businesses and have to follow the law and make money… as hard as it is for hardcore fans, times change… trends like ahegao will be phased out," with an influx of younger, new fans.

"Wearing an ahegao hoodie in Japan would be unthinkable," said Baudinette, "and the only time I have seen it at a Japanese convention, it was being worn by a Westerner."

"In Japan, ahegao is strictly limited to the world of manga and it forms part of a broader trend within Japan’s otaku culture for a sexual attraction to imaginary characters," he said. "Outside Japan is a different story… It tends to be fetishized or used as an 'in-group' marker tied to the Western otaku fandom more broadly."

One could view the existence of the virally-memed ahegao hoodie itself as the import and appropriation of an art form gone wrong. Like getting a kanji tattoo that says "small charcoal grill," unless you already understand the context of the art form, you won't be able to understand the art itself.

Contrary to SunnyCon's predictions, ahegao likely isn't going anywhere. Searches for the word have exploded in the last two years, with more cam models and influencers jumping and drooling and panting all over the ahegao wagon. Most of those models are white. As ahegao transforms from a hentai expression to viral Western meme, it could change in meaning altogether—into simply someone showing pleasure with a little cross-eyed slobber.

How Censorship Created Porn’s New Face of Pleasure syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/