#would save me a lot of stress
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professor admitted he's reading every section of everyone's coursework paper individually (all the intros at once, all the method sections at once, etc) so won't know which corresponds to which. i'm trying to stop repeating myself so much in papers but now i'm having to make sure everything is justified/explained in every section because someone can't be arsed to read a piece of work as it's meant to be read
#bold move from a man who's linked a million papers to 'help' with this coursework#and they're all written by him#if i'm forced to read all of his boring work then why shouldn't he read mine#i know he's got a markscheme that goes by section but it feels odd to not be reading them one after the other#since every student is going to have done something different in their simulations#he said he marks by section so it's easier to 'compare them' ok. are we marking on a curve now#shouldn't be#i'll be stubborn and use my ieee conventions for a mechanical engineering paper so maybe he'll see my sections among the others#and think Oh#this electronic engineer who i forgot was in my module.#(because he keeps assuming we'll all know certain mechanics concepts)#hence he'll remember what i've written before#and take in my whole paper AS A WHOLE#tbh i think he just shouldn't have admitted he reads them like that#would save me a lot of stress
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my stardew farmer ^_^ he doesnt have a green thumb for shit so he keeps animals and does mining
some tidbits i came up with while playing hehe
reclusive and doesnt really go out of his way to talk or visit people unless its an errand. but he also doesnt try to befriend others to get something out of it, so he has a very easygoing approach to making friends. on good terms with linus and sebastian since he runs into them most often.
if he respects or takes a liking to someone, he'll greet them with miss/mister (name). if you get close to him he starts using first name basis. if he doesn't like you, he'll refer to you by your title without using your name. only a few people have caught on to this.
the farm he inherited, Milky Way Farm, was the site of a meteorite crash and sometimes you can find shards of meteor debris littered around the farm (i picked the hilltop farm bc of this lol)
lost his sweater and pants a long ass time ago and doesnt have the time to look for them, so hes been working in his sleep clothes ever since
isnt actually grandpa's real heir to the farm... ;)
#sorry i havent been getting around to artfight attacks or art of anything lately bc my pen :) decided now would be the perfect#time to fucking bail on me :))) its gen 1 apple pen too so the fucker is discontinued hate and death on plsnet earth#like it TECHNICALLY works but only if i pair and re-pair it with the ipad until it senses it and that can be up to 38 tries#even then itll suddenly stop working if i take it off the ipad for more than 10 fucking seconds so i am not having a good time. this is the#second pen that this has happened to and i dont think its my ipad or software jesus christ. whatever. ill pretend not to care so it#fixes itself faster#ANYWAY COSMO!! YEAH. STARDEW IS STUPIDLY ADDICTING. i got it during the sale but im playing it on ios rn since i#dont have steam on my pc rn. i started a new save after the first one fizzled out and i think im doing way better this time yay#its a special kind of stress when u need to be in bed and its 1:50AM but the cat is in the fucking way#i wanna make more stuff with this guy i have a lot of stuff i wanna draw for him. i have a little backstory for him in mind#ill probably make a separate post to explain it but its a very long series of misunderstandings and ouran haruhi gender fuckery#my art#myart#my oc#oc#stardew farmer#sdv farmer#sdv#stardew valley#doodles#stardew
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Hey everyone! this is where the zebra is currently with the design.
It has knee braces!! I will most probably be drawing the zebra usually with them on, but it’s no requirement, for example if anyone else wants to draw the zebra :-]. I always like to make sure an animal design has official colors underneath any clothing and accessory anyway. I think this will be final! thank you everyone for your feedback!
As a reminder, aside from why the zebra was requested for this flag, this is also just a zebra with the disability pride flag on it. It’s just a deisgn to fit the flag, with input from other disabled people in our community. It doesn’t mean other animals can’t have designs with these colors, too! I don’t mean this design to be the only mascot for all disabled people. It’s just a silly series i do of pride animals, and at the time, during disability pride month, I wanted to see what everyone wanted me to start off with for this flag!
the goal with my pride animals is to take requests and make people feel happy and seen.. that’s all <:-)
#disability pride#pride animals#disability#disability pride flag#zebras#I’ve been a little stressed about this animal for the past week.. I will be honest with you#The zebra has many stripes and I wanted to try my best to make sure it wouldn’t cause issues like headaches or other things#also.. if]ve been working on this for a while now.. i want to call it done soon!#But now that this is finished#I will start designing stickers and pins to put on redbubble and also for me to print IRL!#thank you everyone! I’ve also learned more than whatbI already knew this week#Even if it was stressful it was fun to see everyone get so excited when I would show updates to the designs#Sorry for a long speech.. I am a very nervous person today#Excuse my typos! I’m a fast typer and tired from the day#ebonytailsart#Thank you yomcloud for giving me your feedback as well. I don’t have a lot of perspective on visual processing disorders and photensitivity#so it meant a lot to me#just like the other pride animals I am very open to making more animal designs for this flag! But I’d like to save it for the future instea#It’s a bit too soon at the moment. thank youuu
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oh, i figured out aya's skill.
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd aya#ngl this like is making me lose my mind because she's had one this entire time#and it's so fucking obvious in retrospect#but was like. was introduced. slowly. it was not really obvious at first. but you can look back and see how it's present even in the ova.#anyway i don't mean to tease but i wrote out about a third of the theory and then started cracking open other parts of the story with sarah#and now i'm exhausted so i'm going to sleep#but i am certain. like there is no doubt in my mind. that i know what aya's skill is. it fits textually and metatextually#and explains a cryptic comment asagiri made in an interview.#where he said watch aya. like. most of what's been incredible has been obvious.#but no. you can see her skill. and it's SUCH a love letter to aya koda.#in a way i was worried he wouldn't pull off. because it felt like her skill was going to manifest from the stress. and it would be like op.#which isn't. who she was. she was a subtler sort of brilliant. one who exemplified virtue. and this skill is so. it's so good. it's fitting#it also explains akutagawa's dragon outfit.#like. there are a lot of theories i've had that are theories. this is not one of them. we might get the confirmation next chapter.#unfortunately i will need to lay out some confucian concepts for it to make sense. hence why i'm saving this for later. but i'm.#asagiri is insane i want to pick his brain and also follow him around like mary magdalene and learn from him.
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honestly it's been really healing being back to actively contributing things and writing out thoughts on tumblr the last week or so, because while twitter tends to be easier for me to write out Thoughts on without getting overwhelmed, the environment in the twitter fandom circles i'm interested in is not only infested with antis but cliqueish in a way that is caustic to the fucking soul if you try to express a thought that's more than three sentences long--a hundred times over if you're autistic in slightly the wrong way--and it's incredibly reassuring to come back to an environment where the very kindest and most inclusive people toward you are not clearly thinking the r-slur the entire time they interact with you lmao
#whosebaby talks#took an incident of just open petty cruelty the other day for me to finally go#you know what all of this is doing a huge number on my self-esteem and scrupulosity and social anxiety and mental health overall#sometimes it pays to hold out and give the benefit of the doubt#when your knee-jerk reaction is to think something Must Be a Sign of Shitty Intent; bc often it will turn out that wasn't the case at all#but unfortunately sometimes it turns out people are in fact just being shitty in exactly the way you thought they were#and at the *very* best you are incompatible in such a way that if they don't have bad intentions you're just never going to be able to tell#or well. not even necessarily bad *intentions*; just shitty behavior that's harmful to you regardless of whether they mean well#sometimes you just gotta accept that even if neither of you *is* being shitty it's not worth your peace of mind to never be able to confirm#and it's better to just save both of you the stress and not try to pursue that.#it fuckin sucks when it's people you think are cool and really want to get to know; it's a hard lesson to learn; but it's the way sometimes#......and then sometimes the confirmation you finally get is that yeah okay this is some bullshit#and not in a way that can likely be communicated past; no matter how much effort you make to be kind; clear; and mature#and being publicly humiliated for carefully trying to yes-and some clarification on meta of mine#which was being used in ways i was deeply uncomfortable with; and had had no warning would take the turn that it did#and which was contributing to the original post gaining traction in the first place#all targeted in ways pretty much tailor-made to hurt someone with specific issues they had seen me talk about + acknowledged#was just. yeah i think i'm done here lmao#i am Not someone who takes down meta once posted#so the fact that it was bad enough to make me delete an entire thread really says something lol#anyway. lots of other context there; and i appreciate that in some ways the person was genuinely trying to be kind; but i'm. yeah.#that shit Hurted Extremely; and made me realize that while i'm not the *most* well-socialized or articulate or approachable#there is just something in the water over there and no amount of The Problem Not Being Me would have mattered#and the nice asks/replies/comments i've gotten both recently and during hibernation make me feel warm inside; thank y'all <3#the salt files#bullying cw#ableism cw
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living in america is literally just like. yeah i could probably benefit from inpatient mental health services but honestly the resulting medical bills would just make me want to kill myself even more
#eliot posts#i'm not in active danger of hurting myself don't worry#just experiencing some Ideations#but i have a long mental list of reasons not to act on those ideations so i'm safe don't worry#ironically one of those reasons is ''i couldn't afford the medical bills for a failed attempt''#suicide mention#suicide tw#tw suicide#american healthcare my beloathed#dogshit private insurance my beloathed#also ironically one of the (multiple) contributing factors towards this fresh wave of ideations is a medical bill i got yesterday#it's nothing too ruinous but it is A LOT like would utterly wipe out my savings level#my parents said they can help me with it (as much as i hate accepting things from them)#and as soon as i mentioned it my very sweet cousin just. sent me the money it would take to cover it#with a ''yeah i trust you'll pay me back once you get a good job like looking at your major you'll be making a lot eventually''#and i've already requested an itemized bill as well as the paperwork for the hospital's financial assistance program#(tho idk how much assistance i'll actually be eligible for bc i'm still legally a dependent)#so hopefully i'll be able to get that bill cut way down#it's just eugh it's so stressful and i had a full on panic attack on the phone with my insurance company yesterday#and my brain's fav response to crushing stress is just ''well we wouldn't have to handle any of this if we Just Fucking Died! :)''
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Random Togami Headcanon 13
TL;DR - Byakuya's bettered himself but he still has a long road of healing. Also, heads up. This one's not happy like most of the others. Gets a bit hopeful at the end but there's still a lot of sad topics here. Viewer discretion is advised. Now that he feels more empathy for others and possesses some capability for putting himself in another's shoes, thoughts he used to have about the lower class make him feel... off. Perhaps guilt or discomfort with himself. It doesn't help though looking at his classmates every school day and being reminded of the mindset he was raised with. It especially doesn't help when he looks at Makoto who helped him. Makoto being the commoner of all commoner's also hurts. He appreciates what Makoto's done to help him but it unintentionally stabs him hard within his chest that he needed someone's help to get to this point and the someone being a commoner he once wrote off. Next, with this empathy, the heir feels better with his life and happiness but fundamentally worse. It's as if he deteriorated though, logically, he knows it's not the case. He knows that the illogical side of his brain covers itself in the hides of reason and rationale. Essentially, Byakuya ends up having a grueling struggle with dealing with these emotions that, for the majority of his life, he buried and repressed. Emotions that both make him feel more fulfilled in life but that tear him apart inside. Bouts where he feels either extremely content with how he's turned out or that dread and despair that he's slipping back into his old ways. In fact, at times, it becomes overwhelming for him to handle which he especially hates. Being overwhelmed is yet another thing he once viewed as a weakness and, to some extent, he still does. Sometimes, to cope, jokes to himself on whether existing itself is something he feels is a weakness. However, though he has a lot of emotions and thoughts that upset him now as a bettered person, one big thing that pains him is that he has the capability and the intelligence to notice all of this. It's the acknowledgment that stings. The heir notices that he has a problem, that he probably needs help, maybe even therapy, but then he spirals more because of that realization. Why should HE need HELP for these problems of his?! He's an independent person! He should logically be able to handle this himself. He's always handled his problems on his own! Why should he now need someone or just a support system of people to aid in his path of healing? He feels gross for that support system being the classmates who he once adamantly despised with such vitriol. With the added empathy, he also feels shame as he doesn't want to hurt any more people in his life now. He has the hindsight to know this now. He questions himself. Is the situation he's in even that big of a deal and should he keep searching for answers on the "why" and "how"? Is it worth it? Comparisons to the peasants he used to once adamantly demonize also do not escape him. He feels worse because, while he's breaking at the seams, countless of other commoners have similar thoughts too. He's not unique and a bit of that stings his lingering superiority. Then, there is the fact that Byakuya feels even worse about this BECAUSE commoners can handle stuff like this and yet, he keeps saying that he can't due to his mental spirals. Either that or the older thoughts of hating commoners bites back by making him feel like he's "acting like one". He knows by this point that he's actively tearing himself down and that he needs to escape this cycle of mental abuse. He feels shame in himself though. He feels humiliated. Pathetic. Overly emotional in ways he's never felt before. He still has that hope though. The hope that he can get through his. The heir's already delt with so much whether canon, non-despair, or an au of some kind. He's continued on despite it all. And, though long ago, he would have pushed some of this hope off for it being too optimistic, he's grown to care less about that sort of thought anymore. Byakuya can do this.
#danganronpa#danganronpa headcanons#danganronpa byakuya#byakuya togami#togami headcanon series#text sector#basically he's in a state where he knows he can get better but it takes a toll on him at times cus he's hard on himself#knowing that it's okay to rely on others and reaching out is hard just in general and it's def the case for him cus he usually relies on hi#he has to basically get out of a mindset he's had all his life which is a difficult thing to do because it can take so many years#which is why it pains him cus he kinda wishes the could just get it fixed right away but he knows it's impossible#hope this wasn't too vent-y and it's okay if one cannot get through all of this as it's quite a lot to handle#i find this aspect of his character interesting though#one can question how he'd handle this change of his over time and if it takes a toll in some regards due to this being different for him#he's been wired with a certain way of thinking both in terms of viewing the lower class badly and trying to be as smart as he can#also does not help that he's still young but has acted like he's an adult his whole life or at least the expectation of what adults are#loosening up from that stress and pressure he has on himself both due to the environment he was born in and his own standards is hard#he hates it being “hard” though#he's the togami heir so having things be “difficult” for him “isn't supposed to happen”#also stings cus he thinks so highly of himself and what he's meant to achieve or what he's expected to achieve#just another one of my interpretations of his character though#i could/would have added more but there's a word limit i think??? might have missed stuff i wanted to talk about too#there's a lot to say and dive into and it's especially the case for me cus i care a lot about his character and analyzing him the best i ca#if i found a way to write more without it saying that it can't save my draft i would not have so many of these tags T-T#dunno if it's cus i use my computer to type these or if it's just the site or if i'd have to pay for something???#not sure ;-;
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thinking about fallout 4 against my will
#random thoughts#fallout#unfortunately nora compels me#the fact the 'hi honey!' tape specifically mentions her 'shaking the dust off' her law degree is interesting#like she gave up her job to stay at home with her husband and kid. why?#like that's a whole year. at LEAST.#love the idea of nate pressuring her into it <3 maternity leave turns into 'isnt it so nice being with sean around the clock?'#'too bad you won't have this quality time when you return to work'#turns into 'you can always return to work if you feel like it but we DO have a lot saved up . . .'#and it's like. okay so fallout 4 would be so much better if it were set in the 1960s. literally no reason it shouldnt be#yknow beyond complying with lore which. it isnt that faithful to in the first place#i just think it's weird the game is like 'here's the FUTURE' and then it's like 'here's the FUTURE FUTURE'#anyway make it the 1960s. give me time-appropriate fucked up family dynamics#and nora's a laywer and a feminist who promised herself she'd never compromise her career for a man#and nate seemed so NICE and like he understood until uh oh. frog in a slow cooker#and he makes everything seem like it's her idea until she's barefoot in the kitchen with a screaming baby on her hip and burnt food in a pan#and she doesn't even realize she's trapped until it's too late. isolated from friends and family#idk ill do more research later to make it more time-accurate (ESPECIALLY interested in second-wave feminism)#anyway i think she cheats. with a door-to-door salesman selling places in the bomb shelters#(honestly probably the only adult social interaction she's had in weeks beyond her husband)#i like to think at some point she had a bit of a car accident due to the stress so nate took her keys#probably just a minor fender bender he blew out of proportion but she believes it because oh god what if she hurt sean#her feelings toward sean are complicated. i dont think she quite loves him which she feels guilty about so she overcompensates#with trying to keep him as safe as possible and she feels like he KNOWS and HATES her#(honestly when the bombs drop everything happens so quickly and when she's in the future and registers sean's gone she feels. so relieved)#(followed by heavy shame)#nate sabotaged her birth control btw. love evil 1960s patriarchs#never outright stated but heavily implied!#anyway nora in the future (while she felt very progressive for her time) feels very out of place#like her ideals have no place. like she has no place
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Sims 4 Wednesday -- Potential Tiny Town Challenge
Hi all! As we're between Chill Valicer Save updates this week, I wanted to talk to you about something I discovered relatively recently and have been thinking about off and on -- The Tiny Town Challenge! I first learned about this challenge through seeing a thumbnail for James Turner's version on YouTube, and, curious, tracked down the original challenge and rules to see what it was all about. You can get the full rule set and take a look at the original lot and Sims Deligracy created at the link above, but the basic gist is that you spend the challenge setting up a tiny town on a large lot (preferably 64x64) for seven Sims. Each Sim has a specific money-making skill that they must use to earn the funds to build their house on their specific sub-lot, and a favorite decor style and color that must inform what their house looks like. Each Sim is moved in individually, once the previous Sim has finished their house, and the challenge ends when all seven houses and any communal area is fully built.
I took one look at that and I was like "yeah, I'm into it." XD Both because it sounds like a fun challenge, and because it's a challenge with minimal set-up (which is the problem with the challenges I personally have come up with previously -- I think they'd be fun, but they require a loooot of prep!). Having thought about it for a bit, I have some ideas about how I'd like to do the challenge myself -- and some problems that I'm going to have to figure out before I can set this up as a potential alternate save file to the Chill Valicer Save:
-->Location: I decided relatively quickly that I'd like to do the challenge in Windenburg, setting up a little community on The Crumbling Isle (something like how Plumbob Paragon set theirs up). I almost never play in Windenburg, so I figured that setting the challenge there would be a good way to encourage me to wander around that world and see the sights. And I already have some ideas about using the other lots to make a true town out of the island -- like turning one lot into a Community Space to get a community garden going, or another lot into a retail store that a couple of the citizens run. Might be fun!
-->Citizenry: Well, you guys know me -- of course the first three residents of the tiny town would be Victor, Alice, and Smiler. However, I'm having trouble deciding on who the other residents of the town could be. The way I see it, I have two options for the rest of the group:
Option One: Add Victoria Everglot and Emily Merrimack and do a "Four Victorians Riding A Roller Coaster" polycule thing on the tiny town lot! This would be fun as it would allow for amusing and adorable polycule shenanigans...but the problem here is the color schemes. Specifically, while Smiler is fine with their primary color being Yellow, Victor, Alice, and Emily ALL suit Blue being their primary color (Victor has his blue butterfly and blue tie -- plus I've always headcanoned it as his favorite color; Alice has her iconic blue dress; and Emily has her blue -- everything), and Alice and Victoria would both suit Red (Alice has that iconic red blood splatter on her apron; Victoria has her red dress). Now, I know how I could fix this for Alice -- make her primary color Green, to match her eyes -- but I'm not sure what to do about Victor and Emily. I mean, when it comes down to it, Emily would have to get Blue, look at her, but the only other alternate colors I can think of for Victor would be Black or Grey, and that would result in a depressing-looking house. :( So yeah, bit of an issue there!
Option Two: Add my young Emmett "Doc" Brown Sim (patterned off his appearance in BTTF: The Game), a fem!Malkavian Fledgling Sim I downloaded off the Gallery (which I'm already planning on calling Mal Kavian), a Preston Garvey Sim, and my take on a Wheatley Sim to the gang and just represent pretty much all my favorite fandoms and games in one go. The bonus here is that I've got the full roster of seven Sims; as stated, I'm representing a bunch of things I enjoy, not just the primary three; and I get a tiny bit of diversity by including a black character as a primary. However, there are also a couple of issues here:
I'm not entirely sure I want to do the challenge with the full compliment of seven Sims, as I have trouble wrangling a mere three sometimes in my Chill Valicer Save. And before you ask, no, I don't have For Rent, so I couldn't turn the lot into a Residental Rental and just play one family at a time. I'd have to really fight with my own micromanaging tendencies to get this to work!
We again have color overlap issues because Victor, Preston, and Wheatley ALSO all suit the color Blue (Victor for the reasons listed above; Preston because the Minutemen have blue as their primary color scheme; and Wheatley because his eye is blue in the game). Now, admittedly, this one is a bit easier to solve -- make Preston's color Light Brown to match his iconic duster (yes, Sims 4 actually distinguishes between Light Brown and Dark Brown -- the only color that gets that distinction in the sort!), and Wheatley's White to match his core's outer shell -- but still. I am apparently obsessed with Blue characters!
Now, I can think of an interesting way to solve this dilemma -- set up two tiny towns on the Crumbling Isle on the two biggest lots, and divide the Sims so there's like five or so on each lot. (Suppose it could be like Victor, Alice, Smiler, Doc, Mal Kavian on one, and Victoria, Emily, Preston, Wheatley on another?) That does mean having to do the challenge twice, and wrangling a lot more Sims, but... *shrug* We'll see how I feel!
-->Skills, Colors, and Decors: As previously stated, all Sims have to have a specific skill that they use to fund the creation of their home, and a favorite color and decor style that should inform the look of said home. Now, the decor thing is kind of a mystery to me (I mix-and-match styles all the time when building, and I don't have Dream Home Decorator to make Sims Like specific types -- though it does occur to me that I could just fudge it by having each house just reflect their canon in some way), but I do have skills and colors almost entirely locked down for almost all of my potential citizens --
Victor: His color would be Blue (probably darker shades of such), and his money-making skill would be either Painting or Piano (though I'm leaning toward Painting because I've always headcanoned him as being more private with his music)
Alice: Her color would be Green, and her money-making skill either Painting or Writing (leaning toward Writing because I like the idea of her writing her own books)
Victoria: Her color would be Red, and her money-making skill would be either Knitting or Cross-Stitch (since we know she likes to sew from seeing her working on her blanket in the movie when Victor climbs onto her balcony)
Emily: Her color would be Blue (brighter shades), and her money-making skill would be either Flower Arranging (for her bouquet) or Gemology (for the wedding ring that starts the whole Corpse Bride mess -- it just amuses me)
Doc: His color would be Orange (as part of the BTTF logo), and his money-making skill would probably be Robotics (since it's the most sciencey-one), though I wouldn't say no to Fabrication
Mal: Her color would be Red (because, you know, vampire), and her money-making skill would be Wellness (because it deeply amuses me to have a vampire from that clan doing yoga and spa stuff)
Preston: His color would be either Blue or Light Brown (as previously stated), and his money-making skill would be either Fabrication (because he's the settlement guy, and Fabrication is a lot like how the workshops work in Fallout 4), Woodworking (the more low-tech version of that), or Archaeology (because he clearly enjoys the past, given you find him hiding in a museum and his coat is apparently looted from another one -- probably have to use a mod to make it available outside Selvadorada, though!)
Wheatley: His color would either be Blue or White (again, as previously stated), and his money-making skill would be Programming (again, because of the hilarity factor -- I mean, Wheatley CAN hack in the game, but we all know just how "good" he is at it XD)
Smiler: Their color would be Yellow, and their money-making skill --
And this is where I run into a problem, because I'm not entirely sure what to do for Smiler. Because my version of Smiler's primary thing is chemistry (or alchemy, depending on the setting), and I'm not entirely sure how to best represent that with the skills on offer. Should I do Mixology, on the basis that I heacanon they are also awesome at mixing drinks? Herbalism because that's kind of close (I have a mod that puts Granite Falls bugs in other worlds, so that's not an issue)? Do I rely on Simsonian Library's Apothecary mod and related skill because that is arguably closer that Herbalism? Or do I just fudge things by choosing Mixology or something before turning them into a spellcaster and having them focus on the Alchemy section of the spellbook? Decisions, decisions...
But yeah -- that's what I currently have in mind for any future Tiny Town-related save files I may make! Not gonna guarantee that this is gonna happen, but it's a distinct possibility. :) And if you guys have any suggestions regarding how I should do the tiny town (and what the fuck Smiler's money-making skill should be), please let me know!
#sims 4#sims challenge#tiny town challenge#I am intrigued by the thought of a tiny town#with Victor Alice Smiler and friends#just gotta iron out some of the details#how many Sims I want on the lot for one#like I like the IDEA of a lot of Sims on one lot#but I don't know if it would really stress me out#seven Sims is a lot of Sims to control!#and you know me I tend to micromanage my Sims' lives#so I'd probably keep going around and finding Sims doing Forbidden Activities#having two 'suburbs' with fewer Sims feels like a good idea but#I worry that I would miss my Valicer trio whenever I went to the other lot#that's kind of what happened in Newcrest Adventures near the end#I just wanted to constantly play the Van Dorts#why the Chill Save was for the longest time just Victor and Alice#and is now just Victor Alice and Smiler#and yes someone give me some ideas on how to handle Smiler's special skill#they can't really be a chemist without becoming a scientist#and that's not really in the spirit of the challenge I feel?#I don't know just give me guidance here#queued
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sane terror fix-it fic ideas:
what if sir john pulled his head out of his ass?
what if rescue was sent sooner?
what if they respected the netsilik?
what if they were vampires?
what if hickey died/was killed/never boarded?
what if there was time travel?
what if they suspected lead poisoning sooner?
what if someone was psychic?
what if they found the strength to go on after falling in love?
what if someone got pregnant and they all worked together for the baby's sake?
my terror fix-it fic idea:
#len speaks#i was originally playing around with this concept purely out of a love for trans jopson & a dislike of how pro-life the entire mpreg#trope is in fandom but the concept of hickey accidentally knocking jop up after hatefucking & then having to figure out how the hell#they're gonna deal with that is deeply amusing to me. bc yes it's absurd but it WOULD sober fc up and neil WOULD do everything in his power#to not have to pay child support. it's a chaotic enough concept that it would change a lot of dynamics. i also#wanna write it as a trans man viewing it as body horror bc it would be for jop & while i'd like to explore victorian ideas abt#gender & class & sexuality i do think raising the stakes like that could prompt them into action before it's too late.#also sidenote the jopkey is not endgame in this bc the focus is not on love or gay hatesex or paternal instincts saving the day but#instead on jopgenderism & a community effort 2 abort that thang leading to salvation. you think theyd be motivated 2 save themselves after#taking care of a newborn? they'd speedrun mutiny from stress before they left the boats i'm 100% for real
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I think it's a hatecrime against me that there aren't any slugs as big as the giant African snail. Why do the snails get to have all the fun I just want a giant slime noodle.
#I don't want to keep a snail as a pet because theyre kinda prone to shell injuries#and then they die. id be in a constant state of stress#i can't have tarantulas even though i really want to for the same reason - spiders molt and they can actually fuck up#and they fuck up kinda frequently. and if they fuck up they die#because they either tear off their organs in an attempt to free themselves or they essentially turn themselves to stone#or they suffocate. i know that I'd be extremely stressed every da#id be like 'what if it happens what if they fuck up molting i have to stand here on guard in case they start molting and mess up'#because sometimes if you're really fucking lucky you CAN manage to save them. but you have to#be there on time and you have to pray. because its much easier for you to kill them than save them#and i would never forgive myself for that#in general it's very stressful for me to keep pets who don't have very clear signals of joy and displeasure/pain because i#constantly worry about possibly taking bad care of them and them being unhappy#i loved my hamster but i did breathe a breath of relief when she died of old age because every day with her was just#so unbelievably stressful for me. i wouldn't help but be preoccupied with trying to figure out if i was doing something incorrectly#if i was a bad foster parent to her if she was content etc etc#she was a great hamster but the experience was very much 0/10 for me i would never own a hamster again#in the same vein i probably couldn't have a tarantula due to this as well.#plus tbh I didn't even want a hamster my parents got her for me because they wanted me to feel obligated not to kill myself#they said that if i killed myself they wouldn't care for her and she'd die so i had to stay alive.#a part of me knew they were bullshitting but it still freaked me out super hard and made me unimaginably anxious about#getting run over or anything happening to me and paradoxically that made me even more suicidal and depressed#didn't help that my mother didn't even believe in her own plan and accused me of planning to kill myself AND my hamster#she accused me of that several times. I've always had a lot of intrusive thoughts about hurting animals so it#made me break down and self harm every time. obviously that made my mother even angrier and many a time it led to#her accusing me of being a danger to her and others#if she felt particularly hysterical she screamed i was just like my father and that she feared me as much as she had feared him#when he still had a gun. you can imagine how that made me feel considering i jsed to have nightly night terrors about my father#killing my mother.
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you don't have to read this i just have so much pent-up in my head.
(if you do tho the tags are just as important as the post.)
i wish i could make people unfollow me without blocking them? bc like. every single palestine ask i get (whether spam or real) they follow me. even though it's not set up so only followers can send asks. i think they do it because like, then they think i will be more willing to help? bc follower counts are so important on other platforms and to most people, it's probably like an exchange? They do the nicety of adding to my follower count and so i will be more willing to donate money to their cause? but like. i don't want followers just for followers. it makes me uncomfortable. i've got a little over 150 followers right now but probably a third are palestine fundraiser blogs (and a few bots i can't tell are bots or not and promotional spam). it makes me uncomfortable? it makes me feel like the numbers a lie? i want the people following me to be there because they actually care about my blog/me?
obviously i don't want to block these people! they are in a genocide trying to do whatever they can to survive! they are on here trying to ask anyone and everyone so that out of the hundred of people they ask maybe one or two can donate a few dollars! they are trying every tactic they can to make people listen to them! following! posting photos! using eye-catching colours and fonts! writing out their stories! all things that are emotionally and or/physicaly exhausting and draining all in an attempt to just get someone to listen! and honestly it's sort of unfair that they have to follow random people and clog up their dash with random stuff just so people are more willing to help (obviously most of these people didn't have tumblr before and aren't here for the dash, but i imagine a dash full of palestine help would be less overwhelming than a huge mass of random fandoms while you go find people to ask).
#i also get. so. many. palestine asks. and i do think a good chunk are spam but a good chunk are real too and i can't tell the difference#but it really stresses me out how i get so many bc like. i do not have the money to help you people.#and i have said that on every ask ive answered#and the majority of my following doesn't really have the money either. and plenty of them aare struggling for money and asking for help#& now im mounted with tens & tens & tens of asks in my ask box of people i cant help my following cant help & i don't know are real or not#but i have this duty to share them anyways bc even if i can't donate just sharing helps#but again i don't even know which are real#and it's overwhelming and stressful#but then how pathetic/inappropriate is it to feel that way compared to what they are going through?#they are in a genocide and i'm “uncomfortable” at the amount of asks pleading for help in my ask box???#that's fucked up!!!#and why am i even saying i don't have the money to help? i don't have a job and have never had one but i've saved up a bit for a few years#for a special occasion like my birthday or a legal name change or something#who cares if i get that? they can't either! and they are a lot worse of without it than i am without it!#and i have money from a car accident a few years ago from when i was in a car accident that will be all the money to my name once i cut my#parents off. it's all i'll have to try getting housing and maybe film school and such before i can get a job#but why not give them all of that too! who cares if i give away all my money and i live in a cardboard box in the side of the road!#a cardboard box on the side of the road would still be better living conditions than what they are going through!#and if i can make their life better without making my life worse than theirs don't a have a moral obligation to?#so why don't i do that!#what is wrong with me!#unityrain.txt#moral ocd#obsessive compulsive disorder#ocd#actually ocd#maube i shouldn't tag this as palestine#palestine.#<-with a period.#so that way it doesn't show up in people following the normal tag
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Unfortunately I have to turn off asks because random strangers keep sending me charity/donation solicitations which spiral my moral OCD and paranoia/delusional thinking. So if you want to talk to me just DM me instead (discord is an option too, send me your usernames in DMs if you prefer that.)
#plat rambles#I really do not need this stress when school is about to pick up at the end of the month#I don't understand what people even bother to get out of advertising here#I have no money. I do not have many followers. I literally block or unfollow#everyone who posts charity/donation posts#because it makes me spiral so hard that my entire day is wasted and it makes my PTSD nightmares flare up#Even if I was in any condition to work and had money why in the world would i not save it#in case the very likely future where I am too impaired to work again rolls around?#It's so annoying and I KNOW due to my disabilities i have to prioritize myself#and my moral OCD beats me down for it even further#Literally what on my blog indicates that I am open and able to support you#What on my blog says I have a lot of money and am very capable of supporting people I literally do not know#What on my blog covered in userboxes and descriptions and reblogs and posts about a variety of debilitating and chronic#mental disorders says i am capable and willing to support people other than myself#It makes me think people are doing it on purpose. Like they're sending me secret messages or something
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Are you an academic lesbian? 👀
unfortunately yes
#Answered#personal#its the woorst. i got all a's in college save for like three classes i got b's in cuz i couldnt give a big enough shit for them#and now im plagued by nightmares of failing my classes forever cuz i wouldve had to drop out if i didnt get my scholarships#which was the Nightmare Scenario for so long that its ingrained itself into my very being. but im also like a bitch abt it LMAO#like i was the smartest person in any rs/hist/ps class by far and my profs Knew That so anytime some dumb bitch spoke up they looked at ME#like DARING me to speak up bc they KNEW i could pull their spine from their back and like. I WOULD#bc i did the READINGS like a PROPER STUDENT and loved opportunities to make men suffer for disrespecting my beloved profs#and now im a pre-k teacher who uses NONE of the stuff i learned cuz i went to college for the fun of academia lol#and lowkey its helping me unlearn a lot of stress i love my kids so much i cant wait for summer to be over so i can see them all again#anyway. yes im an academic lesbian its genuinely a struggle to read anything that isnt historical nonfiction and im not kidding#i love american history! 1800-1920 is like my favorite time period to study and first wave american feminism is fascinating to me
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Hello! I recently made a similar post to this that didn’t get too much traction, but hey, that’s not too big of a deal for me now. This time around I’m going for a more long term goal because it’s pretty expensive for me and so I don’t want to spend the small amount of funds I have on this but I do need to get this handled at some point.
I’m physically disabled and at one point I was able to handle the pain a little bit better than now, but that’s been exacerbated by a newly developed chronic illness (potentially ME/CFS)
As a result I need a set of crutches to use for long distance mobility, and I can’t get them covered by my insurance because none of my illnesses are on paper yet with them. I also would need a set of pads to use on the handles to reduce physical pain as my hands are also affected by the joint pain I experience that is the reason I need to be using crutches in the first place. I would need 80 dollars USD to cover the cost of everything as well as shipping.
Also I am willing to offer sketch commissions as an option if anyone would want that, it’d be pay what you can.
Cashapp: $lavendercatboy
Once again, goal is 80 dollars USD
Thanks if you can help with this, anything is appreciated! :D
#the catboy speaks#yeah I know I said I wouldn’t be doing this again#but this would save me the stress of having to cut a lot of corners to make this happen#so seriously any help would be appreciated
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so uh.. i really don't know how to address this and really hate having to resort to it but we are in a bit of a trouble..
we are at risk of losing our house. many situations of the year as led payments to be severely behind. as a result, the owners who claim the property are planning to sell the house on nov 28th in order to satisfy the debt owed unless we come up with some way to get caught up enough that we can continue living there. we're trying to explore all possibilities that'd help us with it but all the updates i get, those odds seem to be against us.
we are genuinely stressed and scared at the thought of losing everything. it took me years to finally move out, but i'm afraid of moving back to my parents where i might have to get rid of some of my animals ( as i don't think they have a space that will accommodate three rabbits and a rat ), and being mentally/emotionally abused by my 'sister' again while my parents do nothing about. i really want to do everything i can to help, i even offered to pay ~$1,000 if it'd help but my roommate didn't want it to stress me out, even if it could help.
i wish i could do more but like most jobs, especially animal care, pay like shit. so i'm asking for help, which is of no pressure to those who can't! but we could really use the help. whatever helps, helps. if needed, i can provide the paper -- with permission -- essentially stating the same thing regarding the debt we owe: $17,540. ( roughly ). i'm not sure if they're expecting the total amount within 3 months or at least half of it; enough that we can keep the house.
WHAT I CAN TRY.
i can do small graphics for themes & dash banners for $5-$10+ i can show examples of what i've done throughout the years, including my most recent ones if you'd like to see. or, i'm not great at it, but i can draw you wolves ( i used to draw elemental wolves growing up so if you want a custom one -- that can definitely be something i can do ), dogs, rabbits, pet portraits -- like current or passed away pets you want to a memory of -- which i can also show a portfolio of.
for my personal arts or donations:
cashapp for donations: $WolfyBun.
Chime for personal arts: $WolfyBun.
#( per my anxiety of course i feel like this is my fault with job-hopping bc a lot of my jobs have treated me like utter shit )#( to not having one for a bit bc no one would get back to me until my parents could pay me for babysitting in order to help )#( i was genuinely happy to have finally moved out and finally get more rabbits but now im stressed im going to go back to square one )#( we're trying all options to save the house but this is here in case we urgently need something if what is available fails )#financial help.#free to reblog.#urgent PSA.
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