#would make me the happiest person
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“Don’t let it get to that big head of yours, Merlin.
I just… thought you were dead.”
#is there a fic like this out there ..#because I need it..#or if anyone feels like writing a little something for this scene please do so it would make me the happiest person in the world#bbc Merlin#merthur#Merlin#merlin bbc#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#my art
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Unironic out of context event that has recently occurred:
#puss in boots#puss in boots the last wish#shrek#dreamworks#one of THE best movies I’ve ever laid eyes on#watch it in theaters it is genuinely worth all your money#edit: I need more people to talk about their favorite scenes it would make me the happiest person ever#I’ll go first.#the entire movie is my favorite scene#yaoyaps
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hate going for christian weddings sometimes because i always see the prettiest women with the ugliest men, the sermon is always some shit about wives being slaves (but not like bad slavery, mutual slavery except the husband is a benevolent master which makes it okay) and making babies for their husband, the music is always lame, the mc is always weird and obnoxious, and older women keep fucking asking me when it's gonna be my turn and never take no for an answer.
#mine#personal#brief storytime in the tags#one of my family friends got married and i was happy she was happy#her parents are like an aunt and uncle to me#i was happy to share that moment with them#we cried and laughed together#and my friends#their other daughters were on the line and looked gorgeous#it was just beautiful watching us all grow up in a way and move on to “the next” together#BUT#im a pastor's kid#and my dad loves weddings#he drinks them in whenever he can now especially because they make him happy and he's had to attend a lot more funerals this year#he's been burdened a lot by how many people he's had to bury and how many hospital visits he's had to do#so i was happy to see him happy too#it just all felt so bittersweet to me#because i know how badly my parents want this for me and for themselves#there was a daddy-daughters dance at some point and i could feel my dad beaming beside me watching that#and i was a little sad about it because i was like im never gonna give you that#this could be the best thing i could ever give you and i will never give you this#i can never kneel at an altar in front of a pastor and swallow that sermon#i would never marry a man in my generation#if i married a woman you and almost the entire tent filled with people that watched me grow up would not attend#my happiest day would be another funeral for you#it was worse because im kind of a small celebrity in this community because of my parents and their siblings who are politicians#so people i barely knew kept coming up and asking me when it would be my turn and how they so looked forward to the day#and i was like i love that we're a community here and i missed the pestering of aunts since i left church#but at the same time i was glad to remember why i left#there is no freedom to be myself at all with them because all they do is project their beliefs and ideas on me because that's what children
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“let me guess…your roman empire is pre released kazuha-” WRONG‼️ its marius von hagen
#── ꒰ 💌 ꒱ 𝗌𝖾𝗅𝖿 𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗉 𝗆𝗎𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌 .ᐟ#when i tell you i did not care for this man /at all/ back when i first started playing tot im not kidding like i was first and foremost a ..#die hard luke pierce girlie and told myself i would be through and through because the childhood friends to lovers trope was and still is ..#everything to me and so for a long ass time i did not understand the marius von hagen hype. like he’s a rich little boy with an ..#arrogant attitude what does everyone see in him ?? right?#but i would be sorely mistaken the moment i decided to take a deep dive into his character which to this day— i dont regret doing one bit.#i could go on about how beautiful it is that this man would go above and beyond to make sure you are /the/ most happiest person on earth#and if that meant he wasn’t in the picture then he’s fine just knowing you’ll eventually reach that moment and will live on knowing ..#that somewhere out there in the world you’re happy either on your own or with the one you love LIKE…UGH#im so fucking sick rn im gonna actually throw up excuse me-
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idk how to even like. put this pain into words and i would normally vent about this shit on twitter, but the person its about follows me on there so like. anybody have skills for coping with the crushing realization that the person u love most in this world and have built ur life around sees ur current situation together as a temporary hurdle that's preventing them from their truest and happiest self which. is separate from u entirely? anyone know how to deal with this?
#live with my best friend in the whole entire world who. honest to god makes me the happiest person alive.#like im always waxing poetic about her in the tags on posts about platonic love#and i talk about her like she put the stars in the skies because for real it feels like she did for me#she is. the most important person in my life#and every day i feel grateful just to come home and sit with her#like honest to god i cannot imagine a future that is better than this#if i have a bad day i get to come home and my best friend in the world will make me laugh#what more could i ever ask for#but tonight we talked and she made it abundantly clear that. even if i do everything right#even if i'm the perfect roommate and the best friend i can be#in just over a year#when she's making enough money for it#she plans on moving into a place of her own#which like. makes sense for her. of course we were going to get to this point.#but i just. don't know what i'm going to do.#and it kills me that we're on different pages because for some reason i thought this was a long term thing#i thought we were going to move into a house together#i was just telling my coworker this week that we need to move into our forever home soon which was partially a joke#but also. even if i was making a million dollars a year.#i would still want to be here. with her.#or somewhere else. with her.#like it's so hard to imagine a future without her. it breaks my heart and scares the shit out of me.#and i know i can't afford it here. and i can't move in with strangers. and i'm working my dream job but i'm scared that i'm going to have t#give it all up and move back east because. i can't do this alone. and she's all i have. and all i ever wanted.#and she's leaving.#she doesn't want to be with me.#sry this is so fucking. ugh. idk. i just don't know what to do.#for real might just drop everything and move to chicago if it comes down to it ksdkfljdfs#its what sufjan would have wanted#fucked up terrible no good week
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Chapters: 29/? Fandom: The 1975 (Band) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: George Daniel/Matthew Healy Characters: Matthew Healy, George Daniel, Ross MacDonald, Adam Hann, Jamie Oborne Additional Tags: Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Past Drug Addiction, Mpreg Summary:
Matty lied, which was probably a mistake since he was a shit liar on a good day, and today wasn’t a good day. He was much better at just, not saying anything, even though his therapist had told him that was really just lying by omission. He couldn’t meet Jamie’s eyes, and knew he was sweating nervously. He was hyper aware that he could feel the wand in his back pocket.
.
Just like in the bathroom after the show, two parallel lines stared back at him, confirming deep down what he already knew. The test was positive.
#allylikethecat#happy tuesday#happy tuesday!!#make way for ducklings#ducklings#mpreg#matty fic#gatty#gatty fic#keep it kind#not to be super super needy#but it would make me the happiest person alive if someone where to comment on this#just saying#thank you for reading anyway though#and im sorry this chapter took so long#and for being so all over the place the last few months
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good news: therapy finally scheduled friday morning. bad news: holy shit i am really spiralling aren't i
#ppl following are like yes obviously but like. sincerely. i think classes are keeping me sane#and all of my friends who i adore and love are completely fucking with me#like today i was at a social event and its the first time ini a while i was like organically socializing with strangers#and seeing my friends do that. and it freaked me the fuck out#i didn't like seeing my friends interacting with people that wasn't our group it genuinely on a bone deep level unsettled me#and now i have like. severe paranoia about one of my best friends. which is making everything like a nightmare for me#i hate that my mental illness has drifted from being a hypothetical to now being like a constant#i hate that my parents pay so much for therapy so i try to go every two weeks and that fucking shatters me#and i really really really hate the circumstances i'm in right now even though if i was a better person this would be the happiest-#-time of my fucking life
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if I may be honest for a minute, this christmas is gonna be entirely weird to me (I already cried once) cause I basically have no family left (the ones I do don't spend time with me lol) and for the first time I can remember in life, I'm not making a christmas meal for my family and lots of desserts and doing my best to keep everyone entertained and even though it was super stressful, I already miss it. I'll be strong cause it's all that's left for me.
#gonna spend it with my second family which is my best friends family#he's throwing his first christmas party at his place so I won't be alone#he always makes sure I have somewhere to go#but I miss grandma#at this point she'd have a lot of stuff prepared and we'd be spending all day together working on recipes and making sure everything was go#good lmao#she couldn't help me last year cause she was already sick and it was so hard but I still made our christmas meal#didn't know it would be the last one#so yeah hard day for me cause my dad who was the family I had left decided that his priority is his new wife and left me he barely visits#or talks to me#so it's like he exists but also he doesn't cause he's being the happiest he's ever been#no regard for the daughter he forgot he cared about lol typical#anyway my life is tragic but I'll do my best to keep going even if it's out of spite#personal#usually I'd post shit like this on the main blog instead but meh gonna change it up this once#been using this one more#thank you dan and phil for giving me something to look forward to today
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CHAT I MISS MY S^W YA0I
#I GOT REMINDED OF AN ASK I SENT BC OF GVNPLAY @DAVIDCRIES I MISS YOUUUUUUU#I don’t even know what happened to them but they disappeared off of the following of my old ns/ft blog and I can’t find them :(#(I know one letter was like an x or v instead I cannot remember for the life of me)#fuck it we ball im writing the ideas I remember here#str^hm and amanda au. obv#str^hm and amanda n<cro <3 this was one of my favorites bc it was toxic and major angst#l^wrence catching adam taking pictures of him (i dont remember what he did to him but it was silly and torturous ✨✨)#SIZE QUEEN H0FFMAN. THE CUTTING OFF A CERTAIN PART H0FFMAN ADJSDHDHDD#b0bby dagen s0unding with a stiletto <3 im not even into that i think my instincts against pathetic men (IAPM) just kicked in#l^wrence and his wife double d0mming adam. the way he literally would be happiest with two of the toughest d0ms i wrote#(they had a fantasy where alison punishes adam for him and l^wrence che^ting teehee. it had me wound up for days)#oagh there’s so many. I even know im missing a lot of them I was 24/7/365 hypersexual at that time ok#THE LOGAN/H0FFMAN STUFF. I STAND BY IT THEY FUCKED NASTY IN THAT WAREHOUSE. PROBSBLY LEFT MARKS AND STAINS NOBODY TALKS ABT TOO GRIMY MFS#OH. L^WRENCE MAKING FUN OF A SVBS STUTTER. I KNOW I WOULD CRY IF THAT HAPPENED TO ME (which is the point but whatever) BUT CMONNNNNNN#adam grinding on the end of l^wrence’s cane I think was either mine or just one of my favorites#l^wrence putting an escaped victim back into the trap to sit and watch them die <3#ST^LKER L^WRENCE 🥰🥰🥰 WHERE HE THREATENS YOUR FAMILY INTO CONVINCING YOU TO DATE HIM#amanda knifefvcking someone with the blade <3 again I stand by that#WAIT MY GVNPLAY THING WASNT EVEN GVNPLAY. WAILS I NEVER WROTE THEM WITH GVNPLAY??????????#ok whatever. last one is zepp thighfvcking someone at kn1fepoint <3#in conclusion. I am a normal person with normal fantasies who can be trusted with adult characters (as sirens go off in the background)
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can i get cassandra x mad woman mashup in vienna n3 please 🥺
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Thinking of Kaveh with Unhinged partners again
#//By that; I mean partners who commit the Violences and deadly Chaoses#//Furthermore; said Violences being done upon other ppl bc that person is a Fighter with a side of bloodlust & destruction#//HIs every opposite in damn near every way#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//So lik#//I watched a Wu of the Wa playthrough#//And I fucken LAUGH#//Now Kav is not so dumb he would be FOOLED into thinking they are innocent#//But like#//Them deffo having an on-off thing bc they still manage to worm their way into his heart time and heckin again#//Him continuing to think 'This is the LAST fucken straw; I CANNOT be with sb like his'#//They proceed to show up wounded to his window and tell him they need a quick lil hand and will be on their merry way#//Read: it takes TWOmins of Kav is grumbling & patching them up before they kiss again & Kav thinks to himself MAYBE they can behave#//Then proceeds to get disappointed again when Cy drops news he's hunting them again for Crimes#//Person is a sweetheart to him; or maybe a mischievous lil menace that pushes his buttons to hell and back; but would Never hurt him#//But he HAS to try and draw a line#//But cannot#//Bro is weak for bad boys; and he is fucken PISSED abt it#//Anyway; imma read some k4vet4ru fics I found#//Bc that's the closest to canon I'll get to this ig dkjgbtfg#//And I don't wanna write a particular ship fic rn#//Mostly bc I am already writing one rn actually#//Bc the thought came to me and it Is a bit of a heavy one#//Bc my brain is just 'Hey; you love this blorbo? Corner him'#//Make the guy feel like a prey animal in what should be the happiest time of his life#//Yup yup#//Or as I like to call it 'Why impromptu weddings are better for K4e than proper engagements; etc'#//But thas an update; anywho#//I think a s/o who is absolutely Sc4r Wu of the Waa levels of unhinged would be funny for Kav#//It would not fix him; prolly make him worse & stressed beyond fucken relief. But it would be funny. TO ME lol
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Hehehe >:3 got a kissie and some headpats from a pretty girl >:3 muahahahahahaha >:3
#sorenhoots#sometimes i remember that i am living the life that i ached for during lonely years#like i just get to wake up and live my gay little life??? kinda fucking awesome even if many other parts of life are very stressful#im so glad i met my wife who loves me for who i am 🥰🥰🥰🥰 and 😈😈😈 heheh then i met my other partner???? like. i thought my wife made me#the happiest i would ever be and then WOOSH i met ANOTHER person who makes me incredibly happy? i did not know the happiness could DOUBLE.#i figured it was like 0%-100% and my wife made me like 100% of my capacity for happiness and then its like 200% now and im realizing that my#capacity to experience joy and peace isnt static and frankly probably increases steadily over a lifetime as i grow and change and learn to#appreciate things more. anyways im in a content happy lil gay mood this morning :3#my partner got to visit us recently to help us get emotionally ready for some stressful stuff but now the most stressful parts are done and#now that the stress is fading i am finding so much happiness has been in my chest waiting to burst! it was sooo good to see my partner hehe#and the situation is even cuter because my wifes partner also came to visit and my wifes partner is my partners wife also so like. adorable#symmetry. my partner and my wifes partner have another partner and if you draw out a little diagram of us you will see it is shaped like a#house :3 a square with a triangle on top :3 hehe metamours everywhere :3 super super super wonderful metamours. its literally almost like a#fairy tale to have a polycule??? like?? im so excited to live somewhere that isnt like 9 hours from them. oh my god they also have a cat and#shes the cutest. me and my wife have a cute cat also and we are like 👀👀👀 tenatively anticipating that they will get along 👀👀👀 ive#specifically worked with my cat to help her know how to behave around other cats. my neighbor is retired and does TNR on the local strays#and they get attached to her and hang out in her backyard or her house lol like one snuck in and this was before they had any cats and they#didnt know he snuck in until he hopped onto her bf's chest at night to snuggle up. and hes a big cat and if you felt him drop onto your#chest in the pitch black of night you might absolutely mistake him for a racooon or possom or some other beast. anyways he sneaks into all#the houses down the street apparently and is just kinda like “the retired people down the street”'s cat lol. and daisy would hiss and yowl#out the window at him but i always tried to show her that he is friendly (and give her treats to attempt to tell her 'he isnt a threat. have#a snack. see? if he was a threat then we would not be having snacks.' and eventually he ran into us while i was letting her outside on her#harness and!!! i was absolutely ready to defend either of them from the t#other but they just cautiously sniffed each other and then laid down. it was fascinating to observe. daisy also responds really well yo#to meeting new people :3 though she proved me wrong by hiding from some maitenence ppl recently. but then she met my metamour and was pretty#much instantly like 'oh ok ur family? sounds gok#sounds good.' so thats cute and i hope if we end up in the same house with the other cat in the polci#polycule. well i hope they get along!!!#idk what we would do if they didnt. there are lots of other housing arrangements (like renting a duplex or next-door apartments or#something) but i want them to get along anyways :3 no matter what sort of living arragement works out best. i think theyd be good for each
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...
#bruh the position they're trying to make for the two of us at work#is basically going to like... build upon my automations to make our sales boards and sales meetings slides#....but to automate digital samples????#it's basically the procedural animation work i wanted to do initially but in apparel and paid way better HAHAHAH AHA#PLEASE?????#i've already had one of the interviews for it PLEASE work out i'll be the happiest person alive#cause we're moving to 3d digital sampling (like most apparel brands) but like... UH that's also way less waste too#it's like ideal job i'm?????? ???????#personal#(lol who knew learning to automate to make kpop gifs would...... get me enough money to spend a lot on kpop lol)
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I've really actively been working on myself for the past ten years, only to realize the way I was trying to be, just ain't for me.
I've gotten rid of my social anxiety, I've learned how to do small talk and be really good at it, I've learned how to be in groups and how to communicate, I've learned how to connect with others, step out of my comfort zone and get rid of my fear of trying new things.
And now I'm like huh... I'm actually happiest at home in my comfort zone. Its not that I can't do all the things I could never so anymore, but I don't really want to? Its kinda peaceful.
#personal#I'm so happy I learned all those things#because I do feel more connected to people and I'm more at ease around them and myself#but I worked towards having a normal life so much#a life I saw others live where they had lots of friends and social outings and cool hobbies#and I'm like I could do all those things now#but I'm actually happiest with one max two social outings a week for maybe an hour or two#and I'm not all that interested in cool hobbies I'd rather do crafts and cooking and going for walks#and it's like.... acceptance#it's ok to live a smaller life#a bigger life would make me unhappy#it's actually so funny (read: frustrating)#because I had to ACTIVELY learn how to do all these things I've gotten really good at it#only for me to realize that most people#(the people I thought I had to be like)#are actually pretty bad at it#so now I'm the best conversationalist and host and deep questions asker and connector#and most people I meet aren't actually all that good at it#so now I'm the designated social person#and I'm like no thank you :)#endless books and videos and therapy to learn at how to talk connect communicate only to realize most people hardly do it lmao#I'll never understand the way people communicate I've been studying it for years but it doesn't make sense to me
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ADMITTEDLY it’s a very “teenagers first alcohol” kind of vibe so I prommy it’s not popular with any demographic that’s older than 25 gdgdgd
I’m only just recently leaving my baby tastebuds please bare with me (and give me drink recs so I can leave candy hell)
(Also sidenote but I genuinely didn’t expect so much uproar over GRAPE FLAVOURING because I’ve never heard anyone hate it so much so once again I’m convinced this is an American problem and not a problem with my beloved grape flavour 🙏)
passport you are GROWN im fucking crying looking at all of this. this is the equivalent of whiteclaw.
#snap chats#my first alcohol as a teenager was sake ☠️ my dad started me out right 😔 and then he would get me soju 😔#anyway if you want a REAL MANS DRINK uhhhhh As I Said ive always drank sake :) or whiskey but i get looks whenever i say that#there's this black-bottle sake my dad used to get me all the time Also by gekkeiken. maybe ill get it for stream lol...#hot preferably- cold if you go with nigori. nigori is generally a little sweeter too so if you HAVE to fucking. DIE then go with them#if you have it hot then its just a whole different feeling it's so relaxing. its like being hugged from the inside#my personal favorite's yuki nigori (they got lychee flavor :}) but if nigori doesnt make you happy soju's pretty sweet#my favorite's green apple but you can never go wrong with peach#SPEAKING OF THO noooo there's this peach beer i forget the name of. it does not taste like beer it's very good#goddammit i cant find it. it came in a brown bottle but anyway#there's this japanese plum wine i really like. also on the sweeter side but it's pleasantly dry#wine in general's a safe bet but plum wine would probably make you the happiest#the one im thinking of specifically is gekkeikan but theres a lot of options#kirin beer Unironically is p alright too idk. its like if seltzer sucked but i kinda like it#anyway no theres something wrong with you passport nobody likes fuckin GRAPE 😭#when you drink alcohol youre supposed to respect her what the fuck are THESE
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I hope box boy gets packed up next week
#astral writes#Not going to lie#that shit would be hilarious#anime onlys and manga fans#all going ‘he’s gone’#would make me feel like the happiest person#please kenny do this for me
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