#would help if I had actually done any research beforehand

[sodacowboy]

trying to do that soap bubble art thing and it’s harder than it looks lmao

[dr-spectre]

Splatoon 2 Callie Explained - (In my interpretation)

So in this blog post I wanna go over what is going on with Callie in Splatoon 2 because there's a lot of misinformation being spread around due to how unclear the events of Splatoon 2 were. I'm going to provide my own thoughts into how the Hypnoshades actually affect Callie and clear up what hypnosis actually does to a person, because a lot of people think that Callie was kidnapped and then mind controlled but its actually a lot more complicated than that. I've done a ton of painstaking research into this so if you would like some sources to what I'm saying then I'll be happy to provide it in the comments below when asked!

Okay so first off we need to establish one thing right off the bat, no, Callie was not kidnapped in the sense that she was snatched up by DJ Octavio and then brainwashed while she was kicking and screaming trying to stop him. The idea that Callie was snatched up randomly is simply not to true due to the fact that the OFFICAL Splatoon 2 relationship chart states that Callie was willing to hear out DJ Octavio and go with him. Why? Because if you look at Sunken Scroll 21 and 22 in Splatoon 2, it gives insight into Callie's declining mental health as she struggles to put on a happy face as she walks through a huge crowd of people, as well as the fact that she drew a squid with a sad face on it in Sunken Scroll 22 which is a very clear giveaway that she isn't doing well. Also keep in mind Marie was busy with her own solo thing too and Callie even states in the relationship chart that she's busy and lonely. It also explains why Callie doesn't experience any sort of trauma, turmoil or resentment after Splatoon 2 because well, she wasn't kidnapped and the shades were not forcibly put on her. (Also in Squid Sister Stories chapter 7 there's an artwork piece of Callie walking towards DJ Octavio's star mark so there's that too....)

Now I want to get into how hypnosis actually affects a person and what being hypnotized is actually like. Being hypnotized is described as having "heightened attention, increased focus and heightened suggestibility." You do not get put to sleep and become a puppet as popular media shows it to be, but instead you are hyper aware of what is going on around you. It's also said to be highly relaxing and can help with patients who struggle with anxiety and other mental issues, which might explain why Callie kept putting the shades back on, she enjoys wearing them to some degree as it helps her deal with the pain of being a celebrity, kind of like an addiction but unfortunately Splatoon 2 doesn't explore it at all and Marie (CALLIE'S OWN GOD DAMN COUSIN BTW!) jokes about it..... ugh...... at least she overcomes that addiction OFF SCREEN unfortunately....

Now that part about "suggestibility" is important to consider because contrary to popular belief, you don't lose awareness and memories while you are hypnotized and the person who is in charge of hypnotizing you, CANNOT force you to do anything that's against your wishes and you do NOT lose control of your behavior. Meaning that on some level Callie actually wanted to side with the Octarians because her life beforehand was shitty. The shades do not control Callie but instead put her in a hypnotic state that relaxes her and increases her attention and suggestibility.

For example, if DJ Octavio were to tell Callie to kill Marie instead of Agent 4, she would probably have a ton of hesitation about it and probably not follow his orders. Callie doesn't want to kill Marie, but she doesn't care or know about Agent 4 and that's why she had no problems with following DJ Octavio's suggestions. She also didn't try to attack Marie during the final boss when she was flying around and she just wants Marie to leave her alone because guess what, she's suffering from mental health issues!!!!!! And her relationship with Marie got worse and worse overtime as shown with the Squid Sister Stories.

If you were hypnotized and then the person responsible of your hypnotism handed you a weapon and told you to kill your best friend, you wouldn't do it because it's against your wishes (unless you secretly wanna kill your best friend for some reason....)

With all of this information laid out, it actually does make Splatoon 2's admittedly mid story a bit more interesting, it shows that Callie does have these dark traits and flaws about her, and the Hypnoshades bring out the worst in her. The angry, power hungry and harsh side to her, that was even built up from Splatoon 1. If you look at the dialogue from the Naughty vs. Nice, Early Bird vs. Night Owl and Callie vs. Marie Splatfests, you can see that Callie actually got upset at Marie multiple times due to her attitude.

It really does make Tidal Rush more emotional and powerful as a song if you really think about it. It's a clashing of two cousins whose relationship has been broken apart and Marie is desperately trying to reach out to Callie and fix what she has done. Maybe Marie blames herself for why Callie ran away and that's why she sounds like she's on the brink of tears in the song.... And it makes Spicey Calamari Inkantation more triumphant as a song too.

It does make me a bit angry that Nintendo doesn't wanna dive into these topics as well as Callie. She is flawed and has dark traits about her but, she doesn't try to change or grow from them in any significant or well written way, its like they forgot about it in Splatoon 3 which.... sucks man. I'm hoping we get a Side Order type deal with the Squid Sisters for Splatoon 4 and we dive deeper into the psyches of these girls, because what we have is really interesting but it lacks explanation and nuance and everyone keeps boiling it down to "welp Callie got kidnapped and mind controlled!" Which... its more complex than that... With Agent 3 and Marina it's for sure mind control and i would like to talk about them in a future blog but, with Callie? It's different and there's a lot of layers a lot of people tend to ignore because Splatoon 2's story is just... meh.

[zorosleftshoe]

Hi, con you done when the r ader and Colby get into a reality bad fight and Colby actually slaps the reader and you make up what happens next cus you need your creative freedom ❤️

Love Lost - (c.b)

Pairing: Colby Brock x reader

Warnings: swearing, slight violence, pure angst

*I changed the slap to having something thrown because I don’t feel comfortable writing about Colby hitting our reader, I hope that’s okay*

The room fell silent as Colby’s words sat heavy amongst us. You wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for me. In some sense, he was right. When I met Colby I was just a sandwich maker in the low end of Los Angeles who was barely scraping by.

Even though his words held weight, my stomach churned at the thought of our friends witnessing this fight. True or not, it didn’t need to be discussed unless it was behind closed doors. Colby tapped his foot in anger as he studied every reaction in the room. Sam, shocked his best friend would cause such an unnecessary scene. Kat, sympathy oozed from her eyes as she looked back and forth between Colby and I. Nate, uncertain of how he should react to his two friends arguing. And Seth, who sat with his head down trying his best not to engage with either of us.

“Now you don’t want to talk? A minute ago I couldn’t get you to shut up.” His words were sharp as if they were intended to wound me to the worst extent.

“Colby.” Sam shot out warning him to take it easy. His feelings may be valid but I was still human and my heart was slowly starting to crack around the edges. “Ease up, man.” Colby shot daggers at him before jumping to his feet and pointing a finger at me as he looked at the blonde boy.

“No, Sam. She used my status to get that interview and she didn’t think to ask me beforehand?” Now he was looking at me. Rage burned behind his baby blues. “Were you afraid I’d say no? Afraid you couldn’t get it on your own so you had to use your boyfriend’s big name to get the job done? Tell me.”

“Colby-“ he immediately cut me off.

“Do you know how much shit I’ve dealt with throughout this relationship?” I scoff at the question before shrugging my shoulders in disconcern.

“I don’t know, Colby. Why don’t you fucking enlighten me? Because from where I’m standing, all I can see is your big ass ego. Yes, I name dropped you, because, the interviewer asked if you were my boyfriend. It wasn’t voluntary information. The woman had done her research before I even set foot into that office. Oh,” I pause pulling lightly on the Mayo stained work shirt I had been wearing. “I’m sorry I was trying to figure my shit out to do better for myself. I don’t want to make sandwiches my entire life and I definitely don’t want to only be labeled as Colby Brock’s girlfriend!” By now both of us were glaring at the other. Neither looking away or moving but just watching the others reaction to what was said.

“Yeah? Well from where I’m standing all I see is a charity case.” My face paled at the words as they left Colby’s lips. The room fell into an uncomfortable silence. No one knew what to say. Unsure of what would spark the next outbursts. After a moment, I nod at Colby and grab my phone from the table.

“Well this is one less charity case you have to worry about, Brock. You’ve paid your dues.” I turn away from the sympathetic looks and start to retreat from the all too crowded living room. Just as I’m about to pass through the doorframe leading to the kitchen of glass pass in front of my face and I hiss in pain as one connects with the apple of my cheekbone. The sound of shattering glass echos off the vanilla colored walls and for a moment I’m stunned unsure of what had happened.

“What the hell, Colby?” I hear before two arms grip my shoulders helping me maneuver away from the pile of glass now on the floor by my feet. The room erupted in chaos once I was sat safely on the couch next to Kat. Colby and Sam were shouting at each other while Nate and Kat both tried to check me over for any other surface injuries. Colby’s face had paled as he looked at his hand as if it had betrayed him.

“I, I don’t know what just happened.” Sam’s face was flushed red as anger radiated off of him.

“You threw a glass, Colby. You let your anger get the best of you.” My eyes met Colby’s and for the first time that night they held a softness behind them. Before he could say another word I rose to my feet and left the room as fast as my feet could carry me. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I packed a bag to last a few days unsure of whether we could come back from this.

[geddy-leesbian]

SERRENNEDY POKEMON CROSSOVER AU FOR SERRENNEDY WEEK!!

As you can see above, this is very angsty. Leon and Luis both have a lot of trauma and Baggage. Luis almost has a panic attack and does some trauma dumping.

While there's no explicit smut on screen, there's a moment that gets kinda steamy and a fade to black/implied sex scene.

(oh and personally I feel very awkward swapping things out with pokemon terminology, like using "Arceus" instead of "God" so there is normal swearing here)

“Dr. Serra Navarro?”

“Well, yes, that is me, but typically I prefer Professor Serra,” His eyes wander all over Leon. “Though for someone as pretty as you, I prefer just Luis. Is there something I can help you with?”

Leon was afraid that he was going to go all the way to Alola only to find out it was all a complete waste because Professor Serra actually was just a professor unfortunate enough to share a name with a Team Rocket scientist. But that outcome is already ruled out. Either this guy is the lead he's been seeking for years, or he's an innocent professor that Leon will ask out on a date.

Due to excitement over finally finding a new lead, this trip was hastily put together, and Leon didn't realize how young Dr. Serr– Luis was. Once he confirmed that Luis was from Johto, he didn't go any deeper. He did see a couple pictures, but didn't pay much attention, and assumed the youthfulness was because they were older pictures. His assumption was very wrong. Luis is about his age and way too good-looking. The length of his grayish pink hair is braided, and the loose bangs are fluffy. His tinted glasses are a little too big for his face, but in a cute way. He's taller than Leon. And his outfit is fucking stupid. Shirtless under a lab coat. So stupid. It's hot.

A date with him will make this trip more than worth it.

“I just have some questions for you.”

“About? Are you a parent, or..? I don't think I've seen you around before, but I don't usually get anyone else dropping in on me like this…”

Shit. Leon really should have thought of a cover story beforehand. But in addition to not thoroughly researching Luis enough, he was also too high on the excitement of finally finding something after years of searching to bother thinking through what he'd say.

“Just heard about you, found your past interesting. From Johto originally, was wondering how it affected you. If you had any run-ins with Team Rocket.”

And it looks like Leon will not be going on a date with a handsome professor tonight. This is the guy. He recovers quickly, but for a split second, the phrase ‘Team Rocket’ invokes some panic in his expression.

“No. I was fortunate enough to never have encountered them.”

“You know anything about Mew?”

“Yes, of course? What kind of a professor would I be if I didn't? Mythical pokemon from deep in jungles in South America. Believed to be the ancestor of all pokemon.”

“What about Mewtwo?”

“I've heard the rumors, yes. A clone of Mew that was heavily genetically modified. But I believe that those are just that, rumors. There is no real substance to the claims.”

“Cinnabar Island. That's where you worked when Team Rocket captured and imprisoned Mew. You cruelly experimented on Mew. You helped create Mewtwo.”

“Who in the hell do you think you are, showing up at my doorstep to accuse me of such insane things?!”

“International Police!” Luis starts to shut the door, but Leon blocks the door with his foot. While he wasn't wearing his full uniform, he did bring his badge and takes it out to flash to Luis. He sees some purple fur coming up behind Luis. Must be an espeon, coming to protect its trainer. “Put that in its pokeball and open the door. Now.”

“I will do no such thing! I'm not proud of what I did back then, but I've done my best to leave it all behind, build a new life for myself. I will not allow you, or anyone else, to rip all of that away from me.”

“Not proud of what you did back then? So you admit it?”

“It doesn't matter. Arrest me if you really want, but it won't be anything more than a waste of time for the both of us. I'll maybe spend a night or two in jail, then be let go without charges being filed because I have a good reputation here and you have no evidence. If you try to tell anyone I confessed to involvement with Team Rocket, they won't believe you. You'll ruin your own reputation.”

“I do have evidence! Documents connecting you to the Mew experiments and the creation of Mewtwo.”

Luis actually starts laughing.

“You don't know as much as you think you do then. You find my name on a scrap of paper in the crumbling ruins of a lab, and think you know my life story! So arrogant! Yes, I did work at the Cinnabar lab, but I did not contribute to the creation of Mewtwo. I did not experiment on Mew. I have never had the privilege to even see the legendary Mew in the flesh. Mewtwo had already been created and Mew had already escaped before I was even hired. I can prove that your supposed timeline of my work history is impossible in court, so good luck getting a conviction!”

Leon moves his foot and lets Luis shut the door, and slinks away from his house with his tail between his legs.

…

Leon checks into a motel. He turns the TV on, but he can't focus on it. His mind can't stop wandering back to the conversation, analyzing every word. He fucked up.

“I'm not proud of what I did back then.”

He really fucked up. That could have been a very good angle. Tell Luis that this is his chance to atone and right his wrongs by telling Leon everything he knows about Team Rocket. Maybe even offer some kind of immunity deal if he still seemed hesitant.

But he had to get hot headed and fuck it all up. His first lead in years, and he blew it.

Not ready to admit defeat quite yet, he decides to give himself a day to cool his head off, before trying again. At least Alola offers plenty of distractions. He's not one for most of the tourist trap shit, but distracts himself with hikes through some scenic, and more importantly, rugged terrains. Pushing his body always helps him get his mind together. It's isolated enough that he can let all of his pokemon out too.

Something else Alola offers is a brutal sun. Leon didn't think to buy any sunscreen, and has a bad burn across his face by the end of the day. He's been through far worse, the pain is nothing to him, but he is annoyed at himself for being so stupid. His pokemon were quite happy with the exercise and exploration though, and his head feels clearer, so overall it was a pretty successful day.

…

A knock at Luis's door again. Rattled by yesterday, the knocking gives him a spike of anxiety. Still, he gets up to answer it, in case it's a student or parent that needs something.

He looks through the peephole and sees the same pretty International Police agent that came by yesterday. Luis really doesn't want to open the door. But he's worried it'll be worse if he doesn't and the man busts the door down. Besides, Espeon seems at ease with the situation, not alarmed and protective like she was yesterday. So he opens the door a bit, keeping the chain lock secure in case he tries to get in. (He would certainly be able to break the chain, but at least it would buy Luis a few extra seconds to try to think of a desperate plan.)

“Hello, officer! What are you here to threaten me with today?” Not wanting the agent to know how shaken he is, he turns up the sarcasm in an attempt to mask any nervousness. “Going to accuse me of experimenting on Arceus?

“No. No accusations today. Sorry, about yesterday. Wasn't polite to you. Can I try to make up for it, buy you dinner?”

“You can't seriously believe I'm going to just walk right into whatever kind of trap this is?”

“It's not a trap. Just feel bad about yesterday, I swear. I'm Leon, by the way. Think I forgot to mention it before.”

Luis goes to shut the door, but Espeon seems determined that Leon should be heard out, and telekinetically lifts the chain and nudges the door open. Leon smiles, and it cuts right through Luis's fear.

“I don't like you, and I don't trust you. But…” The prettiest man that Luis has ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on is trying to buy him dinner. (The angry red sunburn on his face does make him the tiniest bit less pretty, but he's still incredibly pretty.) Whether it's a date or something else, turning him down goes against everything Luis believes in. “I suppose I'm willing to put that aside for a free meal.”

“Look, you have every right to feel that way. But I really regret yesterday, I swear. It's just this subject… My parents were Team Rocket. Died on a mission,” Leon hates talking about this. With anyone. Back in his pokemon trainer days, before deciding to join the International Police, he'd had some time in the limelight. First as a rising star gym challenger, then as a champion. He always sidestepped questions when interviewers started asking about family. He especially hates talking about it to a member of Team Rocket. But this is the price he pays for fucking up yesterday. If he wants Luis to trust him and give him what he came for, he needs to give something himself. “Never knew details until I started investigating some stuff related to Team Rocket, found out they died on one of the expeditions looking for Mew. So this whole topic just gets me hot headed and dumb and I say things I don't mean and regret.”

“Well, it sounds like you shouldn't be an International Police agent then, if you can't separate your own personal issues from the job.”

“Yeah, maybe I shouldn't be…” Leon says, because what else is there to say? Luis isn't wrong. “C'mon, dinner. Walked past a restaurant on the way here, you know if it's any good?”

“Yes, we can eat there. By the way, are you aware that your face is extremely sunburned? I have stuff I could put on to help it.”

“Food first. Maybe after.”

“Suit yourself. I'm going to change, I'll be out in a minute.”

Luis ditches the lab coat and comes out with a top on, something that disappoints Leon more than it should. At least it's just a vest that shows off a decent amount of his chest. His hair is down today, and it somehow makes him look even better.

Leon regretted the way he approached Luis yesterday, but initially it wasn't because of guilt. Even if it wasn't Mewtwo, there was something Luis was involved in. He only denied experimenting on Mew and creating Mewtwo, he admitted he was a member of Team Rocket. Luis deserved the harsh treatment, he had only regretted it because Luis could be useful to him. But he does feel a small twinge of guilt for demanding he put his espeon in its pokeball when it follows Luis out the door and he sees that it has a service pokemon vest on. Maybe Luis would have felt safe and opened the door if he could keep Espeon out.

“I can walk there fine,” Luis says, noticing Leon looking at the harness. “I have an injury from a long time ago that flares up from time to time, but Espeon can sense when I'm going to have problems with it, gives me warning, and helps me not fall on my face when it does act up and I struggle keeping my balance. But it is fine most days.”

They sit across from each other, Espeon laying under the table by Luis's feet. Leon has to keep reminding himself that this is not a date. This is an attempt to get Luis to move past yesterday's harsh treatment so Leon can have a second chance at interrogating him. Despite his attempts to not ogle Luis, Leon can't help himself, and notices something very interesting. Scars. The biggest one is on his chest, and another on his cheek.

Being in a public place seems to put Luis at ease. Somewhat, he's at least smiling and looking more relaxed. As it probably should. Leon is dying to grill Luis about the “injury from a long time ago” and the scars he's noticed since sitting down. But this isn't the time or place.

“So… Small talk time?” God. This is actually a fucking date. “How long you been a cop? And why are you still poking around with Team Rocket? They're not a problem anymore. Disbanded twice, no activity in years. One would think the International Police might have some, ah, you know, actual problems to deal with, eh?”

“Been one for a few years. There's not a lot of resources being used up for it anymore, but it still matters to me personally,” There's actually no resources spent on it. Leon isn't here on official International Police business. The Team Rocket hunt is just vigilante shit Leon does on his own time. “Just because they've stopped doesn't mean they shouldn't be brought to justice for the past. Their leader slipped away, it just doesn't sit right with me. I'm trying to nail as many members who slipped away as possible,” Luis's smile disappears. “As far as justice goes, I'm mostly concerned about the big fish. Leader, executives. Finding small fish is just a good way to get leads on the big ones.”

“So if I understand, you help the small fish, they help you? They tell you everything they know about the big fish, and in exchange you don't come down hard on them?” Leon smiles and nods. It'll probably take longer than it should have because he'll need to build some trust after freaking the fuck out their first conversation, but Luis will play the game and give him what he came for. Luis's smile comes back. “Well, interesting… How have your investigations been going?”

“I've made some good leads,” That's a complete lie. Finding Luis's name in the ruins of Cinnabar Island is literally the only lead he's had in years. But telling Luis that will make him feel empowered. “William's out there somewhere, just a matter of time until I find him. Or until he gets tired of licking his wounds in secret and re-emerges on his own, something I'm hoping to at least make harder for him by picking off people he'll need to organize.”

…

“Do you want to come in?” Is Luis trying to have sex with him right now? They did just go on a date, after all. Why doesn't Leon want to say no? “So I can help you with your sunburn.”

Shit. Leon needs to get his mind out of the gutter.

Leon sits on Luis's couch, and Luis drags a stool over by the couch to sit on while he gently rubs ointment across his face with his (gloved) hands. Their faces are so close together. Leon has to stop looking at his face, because he wants to lean forward and kiss Luis. So he looks down. At Luis's neck. A fatal mistake. Before his brain can even process what his body's doing, he's pulling Luis forward, off the stool and onto Leon's knee. His teeth are sinking into Luis's neck.

As soon as he realizes what he's done, he hopes that Luis is going to ask him what the hell he's doing and get up off of him, because he's not sure he'll be able to control himself if Luis is into this too.

Of course Leon isn't that lucky. Luis moans at the first bite. He moans again and grinds down on Leon's knee with the second bite. The third bite has him yanking off the ointment covered rubber gloves and just tossing them on the floor, so he can start exploring Leon's body with his hands.

“I wish I could make some quip about buying me dinner first, but you quite literally did just buy me dinner, so… And really, I would be happy with this even if you hadn't,” Leon just keeps biting as Luis rambles. Now there's a hand in his hair, that clenches around or tugs at it with every bite. There's another hand working the button on his vest, and Leon is quite impressed by his finesse. With one hand and without even looking, Luis quickly has all of them unbuttoned. Though it doesn't get him to the bareskin he's desperately trying to get to, Leon also has a button down undershirt on. Luis doesn't bother unbuttoning all of them, just a couple so he can reach the bareskin of Leon's chest. “Someone as pretty as you doesn't need to buy me dinner, they can just do whatever they'd like to me. You're a cop, you have handcuffs? I'm into that.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Leon pushes him off his lap and gets up, then picks Luis up bridal style. Partially because he wants to give Luis a subtle reminder that he isn't just some small-time cop. He is, in fact, a very well trained special agent in peak physical condition. But mostly because there's a very specific place he wants to carry Luis to. He wasn't lying about someone like Leon being able to do whatever; he readily accepts being picked up, wrapping his arms around Leon's neck. “Where's your bedroom?”

…

“I didn't know I was working for Team Rocket initially. They had things very well compartmentalized. I was hired by a shell company. They had a contract with Devon Corp, so it really seemed like a completely legitimate company.”

In the afterglow, Luis finally starts speaking about his past. Leon briefly wonders if this makes him a whore. He isn't getting money for having sex with Luis, but he is getting information. Something even more valuable to him. The entire reason he's here.

But intent matters, right? Leon didn't start biting his neck because he wanted information. He didn't suck his dick because he wanted information. He didn't put him in handcuffs and sit on his face because he wanted information. He did all of it just because he wanted to. Just because Luis is hot enough that Leon temporarily forgot that he hated him. He was fully prepared to just go back to his motel room after, without any additional info from Luis, and just keep building the trust. So while he's not a whore, he definitely is a slut. Whatever. He's making more progress in his investigation than he has in years, it's fine.

“I was in a research team focused on mega evolution, specifically artificial mega evolution,” Luis continues. “Devon had recently perfected an artificial pokemon line, Beldum. They wanted us to find a way to make Metagross mega evolve. It was no easy task… But we did it. We tinkered around, created an artificial mega stone that metagross would respond to. We researched further, tweaking things to modify metagross's mega form, until we felt it was powerful enough. I was informed that Devon was extremely pleased with the work, and given a promotion, to be the head researcher on a new project my company started…”

“Guessing that's when you started at the Cinnabar lab?”

Luis says nothing, just stares down blankly, frozen. Leon reaches for a pokeball on the nightstand, and lets his sylveon out. It knows exactly what to do, approaching Luis to wrap its ribbon feelers around his arm. Leon hadn't ever wanted a sylveon. He had wanted his eevee to evolve into an espeon, actually. He thought the psychic abilities would be useful in his line of work. But it evolving into a sylveon instead has been a happy accident. Its calming abilities can be surprisingly useful.

“Yes, it was,” Luis answers. He's still wincing at the memories, but Sylveon's soothing aura is preventing him from having a full-blown panic attack and shutting down. “All I was told beforehand was that it was another project related to artificial mega stones. This was when the Alola research about mega evolution being cruel on the pokemon was starting to come out, so in my naivete I assumed we'd be modifying natural mega stones in ways that would make it easier on the pokemon. I knew something was deeply wrong when I was led downstairs. Armed guards. There was a whole maze of hallways and locked gates. As I said yesterday, Mewtwo was already created by this point. It had also escaped once and only narrowly recaptured, so there was much stronger security. I was never alone, there were always at least two armed guards with me at all times. It wasn't just to keep Mewtwo from getting out, it was also to keep me in. I knew it was wrong, it made my stomach churn, but I did the work. I did what was asked of me. We made two artificial mega stones tailored to Mewtwo. Two different stones, two different forms with different strengths.”

Despite Sylveon's feelers, and now Espeon's face rubbing against his other arm, Luis breaks down sobbing.

“You're okay. You're safe,” Leon whispers. Sylveon moves away from Luis's lap, laying down at the end of the bed, so that Leon can wrap his arms around him. As helpful as soothing pokemon like Sylveon can be, sometimes people just need human touch. Leon wants to press for more information right away, but he's not going to repeat yesterday's mistake. He has to go slow, he can't risk pushing Luis away and making him shut down before he's gotten all the information he can out of him. “You don't have to tell me the rest right now. Take all the time you need, okay, sweetheart?”

Jesus Christ. He just had sex with a member of Team Rocket, and now he's calling him sweetheart. At least he's making progress.

Luis just clings to Leon and sobs for a few minutes, before finally speaking again.

“I didn't want to, Leon. I didn't want to. I didn't have a choice. They were forcing me to, they would hurt me if I didn't, and I couldn't get help. Not from gym leaders. Everyone knows that William was the Viridian gym leader, but it went so much deeper than anyone knew. The lab was right by the Cinnabar gym, Wesker was the gym leader and heavily involved in all of the Team Rocket science research. Alexia, Saffron's leader at the time, was quite involved too and came to the lab regularly. The ones who weren't involved were getting paid off to look the other way. The police were paid off too,” Leon entwines one of his hands with Luis's and squeezes it, presses chaste kisses onto his neck, trying to encourage him to keep talking. This is a goldmine. He's long suspected there was a lot of corruption in Kanto and some intentional incompetence during the initial Team Rocket investigations, but could never get anything solid. And the fact that there were other gym leaders directly involved is actually news to him. “It was so screwed up what we were doing, I lost sleep over it, I barely ate because I had no appetite. Until one day…”

A loud, choked sob.

“Mewtwo got out again. All the new precautions weren't enough. It attacked all of us, we deserved it… It was a lab, there were scalpels, lots of glass to break, so many sharp objects that it lifted with its mind to hurl at us. That's how I got all my scars. The worst wound was in my back. It almost killed me, if it had pushed the bone saw in even just a little bit deeper, I would have died. I only survived because… It wasn't luck, it didn't make a mistake, it chose not to wound me fatally, because… Because I think it got in my head, it didn't say anything but it made eye contact with me, and saw that I wasn't a willing participant in its torture. The room after, blood… So much… I was the only one spared, it killed all the others.”

Luis untangles himself from Leon and lays down, closing his eyes. Seems like that's all the information he's getting tonight. Which he isn't upset about, it's a lot, far more than he was expecting. He'd like to know more about Mewtwo, where it ended up after this, and of course he needs more details about Wesker and Alexia.

“Stay?” Luis asks quietly, when Leon starts getting dressed. “Please?”

“Yeah,” Leon does still reach for his pants, but doesn't put them on, just fishes out his notepad so he can write everything down while it's still fresh. “Okay, I'll stay.”

It's dangerous. Leon is so close to liking this guy. Something he needs to not do, because Luis very much has the potential to be dangerous. The main reason Leon had been so hot headed and harsh to him initially is because he thought he got away with everything. He thought that Luis was a monster, and, instead of paying for his crimes, just walked away completely unscathed. Just moved to a new region, was completely accepted, became a pokemon professor, a pillar of the community. A role model.

But that's been shattered. While it may not have been in the traditional route, Luis has paid for his crimes. Is paying for them. Leon is cynical enough that he might have believed everything was just bullshit to manipulate him under other circumstances, but there's enough that it's undeniable. There's more than just faded scars that could have been the result of anything, he has an actual service pokemon. Years later, his injuries are still problematic enough for him to need that assistance. And clearly, he is genuinely traumatized. No one is that good at acting, Team Rocket is truly a trigger for him.

The issue is that Leon doesn't know why it's a trigger. Even injured and traumatized, Luis could be dangerous. The best case scenario is that he's been completely with Leon, and truly hates what he did. The worst case scenario is that he doesn't feel any guilt for his actions, and his near death experience was the only source of the trauma, without any emotional side to it.. Even injured and traumatized, Luis has the potential to be very dangerous.

“Hey, Luis?” Leon whispers after he's done jotting down notes about what Luis said, hoping he's not already asleep. His eyes flutter open. “Is it fine if I let my growlithe out? Usually sleep with it.”

“Go ahead. Just don't leave me. I don't want to wake up alone.”

He should leave. Luis is dangerous. Luis is Team Rocket. And Leon might already be a little bit in love with him, and needs to get the fuck away from him before he falls in even deeper.

But he doesn't. Instead he lets Growlithe out, turns off the lamp on the nightstand, and spoons Luis. He falls asleep with his arms wrapped around him, face buried in his fluffy hair. Espeon sleeps on the floor in its own little bed, while Growlithe and Sylveon lay down by their feet.

[borderlinereminders]

Here's a blog post I wrote on feeling devastated after getting a BPD diagnosis! I think a lot of the overall message can apply to feeling devastated about other diagnoses as well!

I've included text below the read more for those that don't feel comfortable opening links. But if you are comfortable, it is really nice for me to get interaction on my website. It is not monetized so there are no pop up ads or anything like that!

I want to start off by saying that this post might apply to any number of disorders but I just speak from someone who felt this way when being diagnosed with BPD. If you relate to this for any reason, that's really valid and I hope it can help.

So, you’ve just been diagnosed with BPD. You might be feeling any number of things.

On one hand, you might be feeling some relief at having an answer for what’s been going on with you and feeling validated by the news. On the other, you might be feeling scared. You might be feeling like everything is hopeless. You might be feeling like there’s no point in trying anymore, because having BPD means you’re doomed. Doomed to deal with the constant wave of emotions it brings you. Doomed because BPD isn’t temporary - it can’t be ‘cured’ and it won’t ‘go away’.

These are all very valid feelings. It’s not at all unreasonable to feel them all at once. Finding out that we have BPD can be life changing. For me, it didn’t come as much of a shock because I had some suspicions beforehand. But getting the diagnosis, the confirmation there was an actual disorder behind what I was feeling, was very validating.

At first, I did feel defeated sometimes by the knowledge - until I began to notice little things. For example, when I’d have a thought like “my partner clearly doesn’t love me”, I’d stop myself and be like “Oh, that’s a BPD thought.” It allowed me to understand where the thoughts were coming from. While it didn’t fix the emotions and fears, it took some of their power away. It allowed me to challenge them.

Over time, I learned to handle my thoughts in different ways. When I’d have a thought that, “my partner didn’t love me,” I’d stop and ask myself why I thought that. If the answer was something like, “he hasn’t texted me back today”, I’d stop and ask myself, “Okay, are there alternative explanations for why he hasn’t texted?” When I realised that there were, I’d work on some of my self soothing skills. I’d try and offer myself reassurance by looking at old screenshots I’d saved that confirmed he loved me. I would look at a list I kept of things he’d done that made me feel loved. If all else failed, I’d send him a text saying “Hey, it’s not your fault but my brain is being rude. Can I please have some reassurance?”

Learning about my BPD made it possible to work out healthier ways to deal with the thoughts and urges. It motivated me to find healthy ways to communicate and handle crises. As time went on, I began to look into the skills I was using to cope and realised that they were mostly DBT skills. Though I didn’t know about them formally, I had begun applying them in my life. To me, this was a sign that DBT itself was worth looking into and I began researching different skills. I took some time to try most of them out. While they didn’t all work for me, some did. I figured out that the best time to try crisis skills is when you’re not in crisis. This way, when you are in crisis, they are easier to apply and easier to recall because you have tried them before - and you have some idea of which might work for you.

Getting a diagnosis can feel crushing. It can feel like your world is over. I promise you that it isn’t. It’s valid to feel that way. It’s valid to grieve for what your diagnosis has taken from you. It’s valid if you need time to mourn. But I want to assure you that your life isn’t over, and it can still be very good. While my emotions are still extremely strong, and I sometimes still have irrational thoughts caused by BPD, I am so much better at dealing with them than I was before my BPD diagnosis. This has allowed me to foster healthier relationships. Before, I used to react to my thoughts in ways that compromised my relationships over time. This became one more factor in how terrible things I felt my life was. Now, I am able to handle the challenges that come and I enjoy my life. While the emotions haven't gone away, not reacting to them has stopped them from spiraling out of control and in turn making things worse for when it came to my relationships, and overall mental state.

I understand that my personal story might not help you. It might not make you feel better. And that’s super valid. Even so, I’m hoping that my story can show you a positive perspective or at least offer some hope that you can still have a fulfilling life. While there are negatives to such a diagnosis, and it’s so valid to have feelings about that, sometimes remembering it isn’t all bad can help us cope. It helps us remember that the bad times are temporary. Sometimes, I find that when I’m in a really dark place, due to my lack of emotional permanence, I can’t see anything beyond that. But I remind myself that every time this has happened before, it has passed and I have experienced good again. That reminds me that this too will pass. And while that doesn’t fix the bleak feelings, the reminder that they are temporary helps a bit to get myself through it.

I have learned to live a fulfilling and quality life with my BPD. While I wouldn't consider myself "cured" by any means, I've been told I no longer fit a lot of the criteria. While you may not be able to change some of the things that come with your BPD, you can learn to cope with them in healthy ways. This will likely lower their intensity and improve the quality of your life. It is not hopeless. And you can do this. You aren't alone in it.

[fxckn-sxck-fr]

Omg that last ask got me thinking. Would dick ever amputate a limb or paralyze his darling to keep them with him? Perhaps as a very last resort if none of his other efforts work out? I imagine if he did it would only make his coddling worse because now his darling is actually helpless in many ways without range of movement.

𝐃𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐘𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐘𝐙𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐑 𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐔𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐌𝐁𝐒…

!!! GN reader, surgical paralysis/amputation, brief mentions of an operation (a DIY operation, yippee), manipulation, gaslighting(?), drugging, extreme infantilizing.

That’s horrifying, I love it so much.

I gave this a LOT of thought, and you know what? I think there’s a chance he’d actually go this far. Dick Grayson is the type of yandere that snowballs into madness; thoughts that would’ve made him sick to his stomach months ago seem more and more rational as his fears and paranoia get the best of him. It’s definitely a last resort, but one that’s for your own good.

(Because everything he does is for your own good…)

Honestly, I’m torn between paralysis and amputation. There’s probably a higher chance of him paralyzing you than amputation, as it would raise less eyebrows from onlookers (despite completely limiting your contact with the outside world, he still has the heart to take you outside), but that entirely doesn’t rule out amputation!! Both options are plausible.

I think that amputation is the better option cuz A.) it’s the freakier option, and B.) I love the idea of him chaining you to the bed by securing some caplike cuff over your nubs, so…

A humane operation is the only option. An IV being slipped into your arm while you sleep, a consistent moderation of anesthesia into your bloodstream, only the most careful cuts and incisions… you may wanna consider yourself lucky that your captive has the foresight to do the necessary research. The whole procedure goes without a hitch, and you eventually wake up with either no feeling in your legs, or just no legs at all. And of course he’d be there by your side to help you through the shock.

Now, I toyed with the idea of him possibly convincing you beforehand that something was wrong with your legs. Maybe he’d put on his best concerned act as he asks if they feel okay, doing an assessment over them and grimacing at what he “sees.” He’d continue this for weeks, pretending the condition of your legs was only getting worse as he’d ask things like, “are you sure you don’t feel any pain?” Eventually, he may actually convince you that something was wrong, so waking up one day after his operation wouldn’t be as shocking… but I personally don’t like that idea as much.

Instead, I think there would be no build up to this. You went to sleep one night, and then the morning came with no feeling in/no legs at all. There might be a possibility of him making up some sort of lie; something about an accident, sprinkle in some crocodile tears and soft hints that it was because “you didn’t listen to him,” and voila. Solid enough story, I guess. But I’m in love with the idea of him initially offering no explanation at all. Then, when you finally get over the shock to ask what happened, he’d simply answer with something along the lines of, “it had to be done,” leaving you to put the horrific pieces together on your own.

If you fuck with the amputation option, then it should be noted that he gives you the proper medication to make sure nothing gets infected. This ain’t the Civil War, you’re not getting some nasty ass disease on Dick’s watch.

The coddling would certainly get worse after this. And you it’s not like you have any other choice, either. If he didn’t already lock you away in his room, you’re now stuck in there for sure until he gets home. He carries you around the apartment, making sure you’re comfortable wherever he sets you down and, yes, putting you through the humiliation of helping you go to the bathroom (he’d reassure you that there’s nothing to be ashamed of, but that somehow makes you feel worse).

Going out in public might already be a rare occurrence, but now it seems to be limited to once a month, or even a couple months, as he doesn’t want to risk anything happening to you in your current state. However, as mentioned before, he still has the heart to take you outside. So he uses a wheelchair; one he’s owned for a while, if we’re going off of the last ask. But he’d probably continue to drug you before going out, just as a precaution.

This is… not the most ideal outcome… by any means. It’s best that you never lead him to believe this has to be done, and if it’s too late, then I suggest you act as good as possible; you don’t want him taking your arms away from you, too.

If I write a small blurb about this in the future, it’s gonna be the amputation option. SUE ME.

[rebouks]

Previous | Next

Transcript:

Norma: Why would he promote a lowly pusher such as yourself-.. your words. Ivan: [shrugs] I was good at it? Eugene: Were you pleased at the time?

Ivan: It felt good t’be praised, I s’pose; it’s all smoke n’ mirrors though, ain’t it? I guess he was bankin’ on me being a nutcase. Eugene: Are you? Ivan: Uh, not in the way he wanted.

Norma: So, Kate.. you said she started it all? Ivan: I mean, I told Oscar we were fucked-.. n’ him stumblin’ into that just proved the point. He couldn’t sit on it. Norma: You weren’t privy to that information beforehand?

Ivan: Nah, we were too new for ‘em t’trust us with that. Eugene: What about Mr Clarke? Ivan: Oi, I said I ain’t here t’talk about him.

Eugene: What was Mr Flanagan’s reaction once Oscar found out? Ivan: He threatened him. The whole thing fucked him up t’be honest, I didn’t get the full story until way later. Norma: Fucked him up enough to end up overdosing?

Ivan: How d’you know that? Eugene: We’re good at guessing, but medical records are also a thing-.. speaking of, did you actually shoot yourself? Ivan: No…

Norma: What happened? Ivan: Artie shot me, by accident. Norma: How by accident?

Ivan: He was aimin’ for Bruno. Norma: Because? Ivan: Don’t ask me how that dudes mind worked.

Eugene: Mr Finch and yourself weren’t the only ones who betrayed him, what’s the difference? Ivan: [shrugs] Beats me. Norma: How long had Mr Clarke worked with Mr Flanagan?

Ivan: For him, not with-.. n’ I said what I said. Norma: Alright, alright. Eugene: He’s outside, right?

Ivan: He won’t talk t’you. Eugene: We’ll see. Joslyn: You’re wasting your time.

…

Eugene: Mr Clarke, we’d really-… [Bruno rolls the window up in Eugene’s face, folding his arms and refusing to acknowledge him] Eugene: You’re not in any trouble, we’re just after your side of the story.

Eugene: I understand that you’re dubious, but I think you could tell us a great deal more than Mr Harper, or Mr Finch. … Eugene: I’m not sure why you’re so against helping us put a stop to the trafficking of innocent people.

[Bruno frowns, rolling the window down a smidge] Bruno: Don’t paint me as the villain to further your own agenda, Mr Abrams. Eugene: Aha, you’ve done your research! Come on, can’t I tempt you to humour my nosiness?

Eugene: [sighs] A name, a place-.. anything. Bruno: Wyatt Shaw, Del Sol Valley. Eugene: Ah.. hardly more than we have, but I commend the reluctant cooperation nonetheless.

[pseudowho]

hi haitch!! I’m making my way through your mlist rn and it’s soooo good, thank you for the food 🙏🏼 i have a Q for you ! I’m getting back into writing myself, but i feel like i don’t have any set approach to writing fic. do you mind sharing what your process is like? do you outline beforehand or just rawdog a first pass? or does it all just fall out on the page, fully formed? I’m curious how the master goes about it :)

Thank you so much as always 💕💕 but I'm no Master.

So from reading what other people put about their writing process, I think I'm a bit of an odd outlier.

I think overall I fit into the "fall out onto the page fully formed" type.

So for context:

I'm a pretty experienced imaginary world builder I think, like a lot of people here. I've been doing it as a means of escape since I was 6 or 7 years old. And the plot and details of my imaginary world had to be up to a scratch even then. It can't stay if it's not true to the plot, characters, etc.

I tell nobody about these worlds.

I'm an experienced academic writer and researcher, and I also run the first and second edits on my husband's books before he sends them on. I think words come fairly naturally to me.

Stories tend to come to me like movie scenes. I write them like I'm watching the movie in my head and typing down what I see, hear, feel, smell.

Once I know a character as a person, I can understand them enough to know what they're going to say in a given situation.

I tend to make my banners, descriptions, layouts, tags, etc. before I start writing. It makes the writing feel more 'complete' as I do it.

The actual writing process:

I only have a loose plot idea, if any, when I start.

See the movie-- write the movie.

I edit sentence by sentence. I try to catch any immediate typos. I see if it flows from one sentence to the next. I see if everyone is in the right location, if the pacing matches the scene, etc. I check to see that it sounds as I see it.

I tend to do it all in the evenings as I have little to no daytime to myself. I tend to do it in one sitting, maybe two for a very long piece.

I do it all on my phone, either directly into Tumblr drafts or a notepad app (which is also why I have no word counts).

I drink non-stop tea.

If I didn't read back once it's all done, it would be very similar to the final piece I put out. I don't tend to "draft". I just recheck for spelling, grammar and the occasional word choice.

I post 🏣

I delight in everyone's lovely responses. I often then reread my own fics, re-editing for typos which my friends on here sometimes point out for me too.

Another bit of context, in case anyone is interested; 99% sure I'm totally neurotypical. Was once described as 'disgustingly neurotypical' by my sister.

So, yeah. I hope that helps. But I feel like it probably won't. Saying "my first draft is basically what gets put out" feels like such a disgusting brag because I know people spend hours drafting and redrafting. It's why I wouldn't necessarily share that unless someone asked.

Love, as always,

-- Haitch xxx

[atthefishhouses]

Nr. 19 und Nr. 22 von den fic writer asks? ☺️🌼

19. The most interesting topic you’ve researched for a fic

For character arcs: I have been interested in trauma and trauma-related topics for a long time. And my involvement in Spatort has given me license to both brush up on my existing knowledge and branch out into new areas such as trauma-informed couple’s therapy (“traumasensible Paartherapie”) .  

For plot developments: In 2022, I went into something of a research frenzy regarding money laundering, since I wanted to understand what Roland Schürk and Boris Barns could possibly have done with 1.2 million Euros (in registered banknotes!), had it not been for Leo and the (un)fortunate incident in the garage. What struck me while I was learning about all kinds of international money laundering schemes was a) that some of these schemes are quite sophisticated and involve a large number of internationally operating organized crime units/families [which will even allow you to launder money that you came into as a result of a bank robbery] and b) that German laws can almost be said to facilitate and incentivise money laundering.

22. do you ever worry about public reaction to what you’re writing? how do you get past that?

I was certainly a bit nervous about posting my first story because I did not know if anybody would care to read my musings about Adam in Berlin. But having @opheliagreif read the story beforehand, definitely helped me to overcome any remaining nerves and post the damn thing (once I had a better idea of where the sequel was heading). Since I knew from the get-go that Adam and Karow are not everybody’s cup of tea – especially if the story is also more or less G-rated –, I was very pleasantly surprised by the clicks, kudos and kind comments people left.

If my inner critic raises its ugly head these days, which still happens from time to time, I try to remind myself to just chill, since one of the greatest things about fan fiction is the fact that it is something that you do for fun, for free and in your free time.

I also try to surround myself with kind people. And I have made it a rule (online and offline) not to take criticism from people whose opinions or personality I do not value or care for.  So there is actually no reason to worry about the negative things random people on the internet might think or say about my plots, my character arcs or my grammar and spelling, as long as I am happy with where the story is going.

[leogichidaa]

Psychoanalysis Sunday #48

Non-magical AU where Regulus is put in therapy with a psychoanalyst

Part 1 | Previous | Next

"I have done a bit of research since we last met," Dr. Robertson tells Regulus as he settles in to the office. "I've spoken to your parents about this sorting business. I have been informed that the process is meant to be a bit of a surprise to new students."

Regulus nods. "I have heard stories. Of course, I do not believe a word of what Sirius says about it, and at any rate, he is the last person that I would want to consult on the subject, since his sorting was such a disaster."

"Yes," Dr. Robertson says, his face suddenly looking a bit weary. "I certainly do want to talk about that. But before I do, I wanted to ask: would you like to know exactly what the sorting ceremony entails?"

Regulus gives the analyst an astonished look. "What?"

"Well, we could explore your anxiety about the unknown and the root of your fear of failure further, certainly. However, I think in this instance it might be a greater benefit to simply make the unknown known."

"But you can't do that!"

Dr. Robertson grins and winks at Regulus. "Actually, I can. Would you like me to?"

"Really?"

"Really."

"It - this is not some sort of trick is it?"

"Why would you think it is a trick?" the analyst asks, scribbling something on his notepad.

"You never just tell me things. Everything is always riddles and questions with you." Regulus shrugs. "It seems too good to be true."

The analyst nods and examines Regulus, tapping his pen against his chin before responding.

"No trick," he says finally. "I had a...long conversation with your parents last week, and I explained to them in my professional opinion, it is in your best interest to know the details of the sorting beforehand. I think foregoing the tradition of secrecy will help put you at ease as you approach this transition. It is ultimately up to you, though. Would you like to know?"

Regulus stares at the analyst, a bit stunned. On one hand, he finds it incredibly thrilling to be offered secret information and it would of course be quite grand to go off to Hogwarts knowing something that most, if not all, of his classmates were ignorant about. He could enter the sorting ceremony confident and calm, whilst his less privileged classmates worried themselves sick.

On the other hand, well...surely it is kept a secret for a reason. Traditions are traditions because they have stood the test of time, after all. Traditions ought to be respected. It also seems quite clear to Regulus that the analyst had bullied his parents (although he struggles to imagine anyone successfully bullying his mother, let alone the combined force of Walburga and Orion Black) into agreeing with his "professional opinion". He is certain that his parents would think it foolish that he would require such accommodation, further evidence of his defects as a son.

Learning forbidden secret knowledge also strikes Regulus as a very Sirius thing to do.

Really, though, there is no question.

"I want to know," Regulus declares. "Tell me."

Dr. Robertson looks quite pleased by this, which grates at Regulus' nerves slightly, but his mind is made up. Now that the knowledge has been offered to him, he feels he must know.

"Well," Dr. Robertson says. "Apparently there is an interview with a specialist whose family has been doing this sorting for generations. Actually, I happen to know the fellow."

Regulus' brow furrows. "A psychiatrist?"

Dr. Robertson shakes his head. "A hypnotherapist."

"A what?' Regulus asks, alarmed. "He - do you mean to tell me he is going to hypnotize me?"

"Yes," the analyst says. "It is nothing to worry about really. Hypnosis can be a powerful tool, an excellent method of tapping into the unconscious mind."

Regulus' face pales and he looks at the analyst in horror. "I do not want anyone tapping into my mind. It is bad enough I have to come here without having someone actually look in my mind."

Dr. Robertson writes something else down in his notepad, but Regulus is hardly aware of it. He feels as though he is going to be sick. Somehow, this is worse than all the ridiculous stories Sirius told him about sorting. All this time, Sirius was going on about nonsense like wrestling alligators when he could have kept Regulus awake in terror every night by simply telling the truth.

"I can walk you through the process," Dr. Robertson says in a soothing tone. "I can even arrange to have you meet with the gentleman before term starts, if you think that would help. And I spoke with him myself about the sorting process. He told me that if a student feels very strongly about joining a particular house, he allows them that choice."

Regulus stares at the analyst. "We...can choose?" he asks slowly, processing this new piece of information.

"Most children don't, apparently. But yes, you can choose. And when there is a strong family legacy, that is taken into consideration as well."

"So...So Sirius...he could have gone to Slytherin if he wanted? He chose not to."

"Ah," Dr. Robertson says. "Yes, I suppose so." After a brief pause he asks, "How do you feel about that?"

Regulus sets his jaw. "Furious."

[tuiliel]

Hello, the anon seeking fae advice is back once more. Please know there is absolutely no rush and I completely understand life being its own string of whimsy. Truly, thank you for your help. It is sincerely appreciated.

I was specifically considering a brownie due to a string of events. To begin, my patron is quite the trickster. He prefers a lawless game of chess rather than anything cut-and-dry. I had gotten into researching the fae out of curiosity born from thin air whilst cleaning out a cluttered old room, with intentions of doing my practice there. I left off my readings on an article about brownies and, since then, have proceeded to lose my keys thrice, several other items have vanished and reappeared in locations I swore they were not left, and I could not say if I haven't lost more. I am typically good at remembering where I placed my items, but it felt as though my memory was stolen from me. My spur was drawing an Oracle Card that questioned if I felt the presence of otherworldly helpers.

Thus how I arrived here. I typically draw Tarot and Lenormand Cards at my altar or offer prayers to a lit candle before drawing from an Oracle Deck. I'm willing to experiment with other means if it could be beneficial with communicating with them. (With a few practice tests beforehand, of course.)

In a contract, would you say to specify working times? Such as days or the week or hours. Or could that be a poor choice? As well, do you think it would be better to offer daily offerings or offer them weekly? (I shall not forget to add in a clause for missed offerings.) I imagine if this is a trial period, we both can negotiate terms as time goes along and if it takes root. Although, I fear this could be interpreted as disrespectful.

Then yes, I would skip the cheese and try for a Brownie. Though I imagine your patron might have someone in mind already to send your way; Manannán Mac Lir has sent a few my way after catching my attention in a similar fashion - a string of "loud" synchronicities.

Cartomancy is perfectly reasonable - I just usually caution against something like a pendulum with only yes/no/maybe type answers, particularly for a neophyte, because the phrasing of the question will matter so much that a no might actually be an implied yes. Cartomancy gives you more nuance, particularly if you draw at least three cards.

I would not specify working times. In fact, though I suggest weekly offerings, I would suggest you phrase it "at least four times a month". The more flexibility you can give yourself at the beginning, the easier it will be to continue to fulfill the contract in times of distress. Because fairy contracts are not to be taken lightly: breaking a contract - even with a being you have come to consider a close friend - can have dire consequences. Morgan Daimler tells a story of how they came close to breaking one once, with beings they consider to be family, and went blind for several days as a warning.

(Speaking of which, if you haven't read any of Daimler's books, I suggest you do - the Kindle editions are fairly cheap.)

And yes you can absolutely continue to negotiate during the trial period, and even after, so long as you negotiate before you change something, not after, and you leave space in the conversation for your new companion to say no, or counter propose, explaining their own needs and desires. The only time it is disrespectful to attempt to renegotiate is when you are on the brink of breaking the agreement, or have already done so.

[hylian-demi-gods]

Just finished TotK ! (so spoilers ahead)

I've seen some criticisms about the game itself and its ending, but honestly I think they're exaggerating : everything about the game was on par with the standards BotW had set and some things were even better, which was a hard goal to reach considering how amazing BotW was. Sure, it does have some defaults, but what game doesn't ?

Yes, the sky islands aren't very varied and the Depths are rather empty compared to the surface, but it's meant to be this way, no one's lived there for millennia ! I would have been more surprised if it had been as filled to the brim with things to do as the surface.

The story itself was also good ; I kinda regret that the dialogs before you go to fight Phantom Ganon in the castle doesn't change at all whether you've uncovered all of the memories beforehand or not, but it does make sense that they couldn't make Link tell everyone "the reason we can't find Zelda is because she's a dragon, that one's a fake" : the story had to progress and, for that, he had to chase after the puppet. I wish they'd done something like "oh, you already know it's not Zelda ? Ok but maybe we can still get info if we catch this one, so go !" but well. Other than that it's still a standard Zelda story, just like BotW was : Princess and Kingdom in danger, gotta find shiny sword and champions/sages to help us in the fight and be strong enough to fight the big bad. I like that they gave each race new types of problems for us to solve, like they did in OoT and TP ; I feel like it had been a while since they'd last done that.

The last fight against Ganondorf was pretty good, especially the dragon part : loved that one. We got to fight with Zelda's help ! The little wyrm and small knight against the giant dragon ! And we won because we were so small and sneaky and he couldn't manage to even touch Zelda ! Lovely.

Also, Zelda's relationships : not only does she have many friends in Hyrule when we start, she makes even MORE of them in the past ! Everyone who's ever met her has at least one story to tell about how amazing she is ! She got to have a mom again ! And an actually good father ! Thank the Goddesses for Sonia and Rauru. She even got to have a mad scientist as an aunt and apparently was just as crazy as her in their research ! That girl's personality and life got so much more depth than in any other game before, it's amazing and I love it.

And I also love the symbolism of the hands in this game. It starts with Link's arm getting injured and Link being unable to catch Zelda ; then he gets a new arm, new powers with it and this new arm stores his friends' powers which he gets by holding hands with them (except Yunobo who gives him a check like a real bro) ; and at the end of the game, all the strength he's built up in that new arm is used by Rauru and Sonia to channel their power through him and save their granddaughter. Link went through all these hardships to save Zelda, and the strength he gathered on that journey does, indeed, save Zelda. And he finally manages to catch her. And she's safe. And she's home. That was beautiful, people !

Great game. I'm not sure what Nintendo could add as a DLC, aside maybe from a "Champions' Ballad" like side-story where we get to see more of what happened in the past ? That would be fun, but for now I enjoy the game as it is.

[reginarubie]

The first time I read asoiaf -I'll be honest- I felt weird. Then I read your metas and realized why I felt this way, it was my love-horror sense tingling 😭

reading D@ny chapters in agot -or any of Bran- gives this feeling of watching Ari Aster movies or The Witch, like they are making deals with devil 😭😂

Ciao nonny,

Asoiaf is very complex, and some of the horrors of it are not so clear to a first reader; there are multiple layers to it. Most of my metas have been caused by people sending an ask and causing a light bulb to light in my mind (see the dark!Dany and blood sacrificing Dany metas)

Or simply I made the connection out of the blue (like my Lucifer means Lightbringer metas).

And to be quite honest with you, even those could not have seen the light of the day without my amazing mutuals to whom I have privately whined and run a first rough draft through.

I mean, @sansaissteel has been of tremendous help especially with the realization that, all in all, Rhaego is what the valyrian would've called a chimera and that it happened after a blood sacrifice, like it happened in old Valyria.

In the same way @fromtheboundlesssea has been instrumental for the new (still yet to come, I've just started to scratch at its surface) biblical meta.

And more often than not the whole thing is spurned by some convo (like the latest biblical/secular meta about the figure of the Virgin Mary, the Mother and the mothers of asoiaf) for which we can thank @esther-dot and @minitafan.

And most of my metas have been born that way. From some comment someone made, or the light bulb going off in my mind out of the blue, and from the amazing conversations we can engage in, in this corner of the fandom.

And I couldn't agree more, the AGOT chapters of both Dany and Bran are like already foreshadowing the line they are walking on, and that they either will cross or remain on the right side of. We always comment on how Dany and Jon are foils, and Dany and Sansa are written to become moral rivals, and Arya is supposed to outgrow her childish awe at the dragons to see the horror they actually bring in the world (after the whole point of her growing fiercely more hating of how fire is used during warcraft); but the real antitheses and foils are actually Dany an Bran.

Horror follows them almost more closely than others, and certainly more closely than others they toy with it. Imo Bran is foreshadowed to sacrifice his abilities (and thus his possibilities to not feel like a cripple) for the good of everyone, which is the choice I think Dany will fail to make in the end; as we see Bran growing ever so restless but realizing that something is afoot and having the advantage of having been raised by Ned Stark; Dany is just a slow descent.

Horror is a great part of asoiaf and so layered I think not even Martin has done everything on purpose; some of it might have happened by chance and actually fit the plot. As I myself write stories and fan fictions I have noticed my brain at times plants the seeds of plot-twists I haven't even started to plan, before I realize I want to write them and then suddenly start to fit as if I had planned it beforehand.

Both Dany and Bran are actually engaging with “devils”.

The dragon for Dany and the three eyed raven for Bran... and come to think of it:

both creatures are symbolically connected between them and to the number three (three dragons, the dragon must have three heads; and the three eyes of the raven in Bran' dream and the three eyed raven); both connected to the color black (which would beg on a meta in itself) and red (might actually had another layer to the red decoded series of meta).

And.....I am stopping there before this gets out of hand, but trust me on this nonny, I will return to this matter, because you just opened the lid of a Pandora box and my hands are already itching to write it, but it needs research and a more throughout writing method. But I will address this matter because damn what you haven't just exposed in my mind.

Thank you, as always for dropping by. Sending all my love; I hope you have a wonderful day/afternoon/night, whatever depending on where you live!

Do drop by again, I'm always happy to hear from you all and you all are extremely instrumental in the insanity that is my writing-metas-method!, I'm always ready to be unleashed on the fandom with brand new ideas and metas sparked by all of your genial comments and asks!

*demonic mumbling*

Forever itching to write new metas,

~G.

[justonemorewallflower]

Fic Tag Game!

I was tagged by @iamfandomcrazy

Thank you! I was hoping I'd get the chance to answer these!!

How many works do you have on AO3?

24

What's your AO3 word count?

92,829

What fandoms do you write for?

On AO3, Wednesday. I only have Wednesday fics posted on AO3 but elsewhere like Wattpad I have some Harry Potter and Stranger Things. I do want to start posting some Ronance on AO3

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Condolence (Wyler, 339)

2. Jealousy (Wyler, 274)

3. Freckles (Wyler, 251)

4. Bitter Coffee (Wyler, 227)

5. The Beach & Realization (Wyler, both tied at 219 kudos)

Do you respond to comments?

Yes! I try to respond to all of them albeit sometimes I forget or procrastinate to do so

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably In The Middle Of The Night or Death's Goodbye. I haven't finished A Pain Worse Than Death yet, but that will have a pretty angsty ending too

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

A Night To Remember, Realization, or Welcome to the Family

Do you get hate on fics?

Nope, not that I know of! Most of the comments I get, if not all, are positive

Do you write smut? What kind?

Yes, I do. I got into it too rather recently (back in summer) as I did a kink bingo writing event. A lot of it is kinky, obviously lol. Beyond that I'm not sure how to explain it cause they each vary/are pretty different from each other. Some are really out there/dirty and others are more tame, just depends on the fic

Do you write cross-overs?

No. I wrote a bit of one in the past for Narnia x Harry Potter, but I never did anything with it and I haven't written any since then. Unless you count Omegaverse, no

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I think so. I remember someone asking me at one point if they could translate one of my fics but I never checked to see if they actually did so I'm not 100% sure

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really. I've helped other writers with ideas for their fics and they have helped me with ideas for my own but that's the extent of collaboration I've done for writing fics

What WIP would you like to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oh God, where do I start? I'd love to finish A Pain Worse Than Death but low-key don't know if I will. I also would love to finish some other AUs I have in my drafts like my Wyler Circus AU and my Wyler Goody Two shoes/Rebel AU, as well as some Ronance fics I have in my drafts

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Honestly, probably Wyler. But beyond them I also adore Ronance (Robin Buckley and Nancy Wheeler) and Shirbert (Anne Shirley and Gilbert Blythe)

What are your writing strengths?

Grammar and I like to think I'm decent at descriptions and characterization

What are your writing weaknesses?

Tense! I always subconsciously switch between past and present tense and it drives me insane!! It's something I always have to go back and fix/check for. And maybe dialogue, sometimes I struggle with that. As well as just finishing projects before starting a new one lol, I always have like 500 million drafts all at once that I'm working on

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I think it's fun to do sometimes but I don't do it much and if I do I try to do a language I am partly fluent in (like Spanish) or do a lot of research beforehand to ensure it's as accurate as I can get it

First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter I'm pretty sure

Favorite fic you've ever written?

Maybe Coffee Memories (I really like the characterization in this one) or A Pain Worse Than Death (the angst is just so delicious) or Scars Never Leave (I like the sort of hurt/comfort of this fic) or Safe Haven (it's the only Madwheeler fic I have and I like the angst and tone of it but I wrote it several years ago so it needs updated a lot) and then a lot of ideas that are just in my drafts

What fic would you want to rewrite one day?

Condolence because the first half of chapters are very short and lack content and I'd like to fix that, to try and make chapters more similar in length (like at least not like a 400 word chapter then a 3000 word chapter right after each other, yk) and Safe Haven (it's alright but could use some work to be more consistent in its plot and so it would work better, I'd just like to update it with my more recent writing style and knowledge since it's a few years old)

I tag @cosmic-lullaby @katwitchwriting (sorry if either of you have been tagged already!!)

[glaivenoct]

( fanfic writer ask game ) ✏️ , 🎧 , 🔬 , ✍🏽 , 🌾 ?

Thank you so much for sending some in! ;u; (Fanfic Writer Asks Here)

✏️ The first fanfiction you ever wrote? (doesn’t have to be a posted fic)

Heh.. back in 2005, a show aired on Discovery Kids that became my favorite show in the history of ever. Wee 9 year old Brina did not understand or even know of the concept of Fandom or Fanfiction - but this show is what I consider my first Fandom ever.

Did any fellow millennials ever watch Flight 29 Down on Discovery Kids (2005-2007)? Man, I loved that show so fucking much. I wrote silly little fics for it in my spare spiral college ruled notebooks! AUs before I even know what an AU was lmao. My favorite was one I called "Agents in Action" where I pretended all the characters in the show were recruited as Secret Agents after being rescued lmao.

I also wrote fics for my favorite ship in the show. Again, I didn't really know what the word ship was, but I knew I liked two characters enough to write fics of them getting together and referring to them with a pairing name. I shipped Jackson/Taylor aka Jaylor! Jackson was the Tall-Quiet-Mysterious foster kid with a questionable past and a sense of being an outsider among his peers, and Taylor was the seemingly shallow rich Mean Girl, who turns out not to be as mean or shallow once you get to know her a little more and she learns some more empathy/self-awareness.

When I wrote these fics, I had no idea what fic even was. But man oh man was it such a happy place for me to write them at the time. I wish I still had them, but I don't know where they went. I used to draw pictures at the back of every page and everything. Good times, good times ;u;

🎧 A certain song you listened to while writing a fic?

MUSIC, YAASS. So! Rare is it for me to make a playlist for just a one-shot, but for my NyxNoct Masquerade Fic I really needed a decent chunk of songs that captured the right vibe to help me write it, if ya know what I mean!

Young and Beautiful is the star of that playlist. I not only imagined Nyx and Noct dancing to the song in the fic, but the playlist also features two different instrumental versions of it too! It was such a big help with that fic uwu.

🔬The fic you had to make the most research for?

Hmm.. there's honestly 3 contenders for this, and the Masquerade fic is definitely one of them - but that was research in the sense of looking up a lot of visuals for inspiration. Outfits/ballrooms/mask designs and things like that

The second has to be cagefighter AU because of the fight scenes. I looked up articles about boxing rings/MMA tournaments/different styles of martial arts and things like that. I think I put at some point in the fic that Nyx leans more towards a boxing style while Noct kinda knows a mix of things thanks to Cor. Come the next time I need to write a fight scene, I'll probably be looking up martial arts/self defense videos again. Which is usually fun for me!

The third would have to be my old and Very Incomplete NyxNoct Wings AU that only has one chapter and no proper plot to this day ;u; Researching wing anatomy and all that. Visual references for different wing designs too.

✍🏽 How much do you plan your fics beforehand?

If we're talking about outlines, never have I ever in my fic life done a proper outline ^^; I'm very "I have all the backstory in my head, the rest of the details of the actual plot will unfold as I go" :'D

🌾 A fic you really want to write but you haven’t (yet)?

So Many ;u; but right now, the main things on my radar after I finish the current WIP are: -An assassination attempt prompt that's been sitting in my inbox for too long -A new possibly probably definitely spicy NyxNoct fic ideally for Valentine's Day. Buuut there's a good chance I chicken out of that one and try writing the next chapter of Cagefighter AU instead.

If I add anything else, I'll be getting too ahead of myself and overwhelmed lol. To anyone who's sent me prompts in the last several months: bear with me please I swear. I either get them done sorta quick or... Not Quick.

Thank you again for indulging me with these! ;u; <3

[eyeswaitingfortuesdaynight]

omniscient reader's viewpoint liveblog day 2 😅 (chs. 2-6: ep. 1 - starting the paid service)

i'm going to take notes as i go for the first 120 chapters or so since i've already read it before (and also sort of re-read them via the webtoon and various fanfic)

completely forgot about the world after fall plug looool. i need catch up with the webtoon at some point for that one

kdj is so freaking awkward talking about himself and his hobbies, it's painful. compared to how he never shuts up later, it shows how comfortable he's gotten with kimcom. how uncomfortable he was with anyone in the before times

i think he's....dissassociating? has trouble mentally staying present? either way, ysa had to address him 3 times before he answered a simple question about language app, damn. this bitch is Not Alright

kdj uses 'ruined' as a search term, not 'survival' or 'survive' when looking for twsa. that's a habit, so he likely did that the first time he was searching for novels too, huh.....

when a train stops for me, i think 'mechanical issues' or 'security incident', not 'suicide'. i can't tell if this is a cultural thing or a kdj thing or both, but in any case not a good sign of mental health that that's his first and only guess

killing anyone who outwardly rebelled against the dokkaebi...pretty smart in establishing dominance tbh. and it means that any surviving incarnations are either going to be too scared to protest or too smart to voice their opinions outloud and potentially incite other incarnations into rebelling

"If you want to enjoy happiness, it is common sense to pay a price." - 😬

'Department Head Han pulled out his business card as people cheered him on.' - this was very 'and everyone stood up and clapped' energy, but irl, crying

'Finally, I slowly controlled my breathing.' -meaning he wasn't controlling his breathing before? a point in favour of kdj having therapy in the before times, but idk. i feel like kdj DOESN'T have 4th wall yet. he's not 100% chill about the scenarios happening......it's suspicious that he's actually narrating his emotional reactions at this point and having to work at being calm instead of just telling himself to calm down

i didn't expect or remember that matrix ref lol. now all i can picture is hsy shoving the red pill down kdj's mouth and telling him to wake the fuck up

lhs.....so earnest..................also pretty sure the seoul dome doesn't go up until after the 1st scenario is complete if lhs is still getting messages on his phone

with all these political assassinations...i wonder if the dokkaebi got rid all of the nuclear weapons and such too. just to make sure they don't interfere the scenarios. bihyung's comments show that some research can be done and the existence of the disaster of questions is proof the dokkaebis have observed earth for at least some time now. the 4th and 5th scenarios were designed too specifically not have had extensive research beforehand

'Subconsciously, I made a fist using all my strength.' - that one arthur meme 😂

ljh ...... 😭😭😭😭😭

'confused for a moment' 'stunned for a moment' - HIGHKEY BELIEVING HE DOESN'T HAVE 4TH WALL

interesting that kdj doesn't even think of opening his attribute window until after he gets his mysterious attribute (maybe 2nd?).....almost like he didn't have the 4th wall to help him block his profile and also calm him down enough to think of it beforehand...............

if yjh is in car 3707....and the rest of the gang are in 3807.....who the fuck is the pale guy mentioned to be in 3907? throwaway line? typo? side story tie-in?????

knw......i know thematically he has to die here but also goddamn it would have been so funny to have him tag along and become part of kimcom. kdj picking up all the teen rivals lol

"Think carefully. The world you have known so far has just ended." - pretty sure kdj says something similar later. ~thematic parallels~ .....also i need to find that teen!kdj au fic as soon as i finish reading the novel, i have been dying to read it

...poor grandmother. what an awful way to live your last few minutes before you die.

kdj would have been so fucked if this wasn't a round where yjh killed everyone in his car with an explosion.

lgy is crying, oh nooooooo 😭😭😭😭

'The locusts and grasshoppers were jumping around in the collection net.' - insects, not just grasshoppers. this coupled with knw's uniform makes me think it's late summer/early fall....i need to lookup the korean school calendar later to be sure, but i don't get the impression it'll be winter anytime soon

'Right now, I was facing the explosive madness that tried to kill the grandmother yet a smile emerged on my face. Why? Even in this breathtaking tension, why was my heart beating with joy?' - adrenaline and having control for the first time in your life maybe

i always wondered who the 2nd constellation wanting knw was........

also wondering if knw would have joined the military asap after finishing school

man wouldn't it have been so funny if one of the grasshopper eggs slipped out of kdj's hand and knw stepped on it and he passed the 1st scenario anyway???

i know knw is a total homicidal weirdo ....but he didn't have to go like that 🥺

kdj doesn't recognize his own face....doesn't notice there's no actual blood on it......feels like he's looking at a novel......is it dissassociation, the 4th wall, or maybe it's maybelliene

'…And I was the only reader who knew the ending of this world.' - what a dramatic ending to those chapters. fitting as well!