#would have gone sooner but lmao holidays....

[the-kipsabian]

my face still hurts and im sad

[ran-orimoto]

• { Iniziando da capo una tempesta nella testa } Restarting again from a brainstorm •

[ LMAO I said I would put my effort in writing and I did it. I put my butt on gear and kept the promise, -because I had already broken one, so I didn’t want to risk to make the same mistake twice in a row-. Now, if I could adopt the same attitude to write my bachelor thesis, I would be the happiest in the world, so once I cross publish this here, off I’ll go⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️. I believe in me! ]

[ Context: Junpei and Izumi met again in Parma four months ago and have started hearing from each other more often. The calls Izumi shares with him and Takuya instill in her a sense of nostalgia that takes her back to Italy sooner than the boys had expected. She couldn’t miss a snowy trip to Val di Fassa organized by a Kouji who could have never imagined he would spend holidays with the whole group.

The story is set during San Silvestro, on the 31th of January, or better, some minutes after it because anything can happen in the first beats of a new year, even to Junpei. ]

XXX

“I like this song, y’know? It would be nice to go dancing it together, eh eh.”

“Va bene! What a great idea, it will be fun!”

…

Every spell was meant to wear off at the stroke of midnight and his, whatever it had consisted in, hadn’t been an exception. However, he hadn’t been warned by the usual, sumptuous bells of a clocktower, but by the screech typical of a CD that has been abruptly interrupted, so by one of those awful noises that could really spoil even the best weather.

And yet, the music had kept on going, indifferent to the lancinating stridor never ending in his ears, to the stasis it had frozen his mind in despite thick pillows and big stoves, to the wince of slight fear he welcomed, once he gulped at what had sounded like the first heart pulse he had ever heard in his life.

Confused and disoriented in his own world and skin now that the enchantment had taken off, without even giving him the chance to ask for a little, if not minuscule, concession. After all, it wasn’t like he would have praid for the miracle of a reverting night, of stars spinning backwards to disappear behind Val di Fassa’s mountaintops, of the Moon diving in some dark lake like a biscuit dipped in a mug of chocolate. He would have simply settled for just a crumb of what it had stolen away from him too soon. All that boldness, recklessness, that hint of arrogance too which would often often fog the meaning of life in the mind of some during the first hours of the new year.

It was a special kind of nonsense inebriety coming after having gobbled down one or two drops of Teroldego or having left a glass of spumante full to the brim on the table. It would allow people to do what they would never do in other occasions, because it would bring along an accentuated sensitivity to the flow of time, the dash of the years, the succession of the songs.

It was the common sight of the shadow mounds of grey swabs project on Earth.

So, yeah, he guessed things might have gone a bit differently. Endowed with those special gifts, guided by such a magic and urged by the awareness it wouldn’t last forever, he would have grabbed that hand at once. And , maybe, he would have also managed to look into the eyes of a beautiful cyclone without pushing his gaze downwards, not certainly at the level of those fingers and their flashes of violet, but even more downwards, on his thighs which his palms had attached themselves to with a refound stickiness.

“ Su !” Izumi exclaimed and he could only reply through an awkward chuckle, reaching out to try dragging her along with him, down into a dive in his universe of perplexity and bubbles transforming certainties into ambiguities.

Thus, he soon felt her arm hesitantly pulling away, then her parting from him with some steps backwards taken on her ticking boots. By doing so that rapidly, she gave him the impression of a gradual suck of air draining him of the freshness of the still distant spring, with the consequence that he got left inert in the asphyxiating embrace of his body’s heat.

Fortunately, she spoke again as soon as she returned onto her seat, in front of her coca cola and its munched straw, at the opposite end of the table…Or so he believed she had, at least, not expecting he would find himself stranded below a marine sky having just opened above the Alps like an unexpected aurora borealis.

“Oh, I see,” After having occupied the chair Kouichi had been on, until he, - the quiet, sober Kouichi in the flesh!-, had been incredibly persuaded by Takuya and Kouji, and Tomoki too, to join them for another toast, she seeked for satisfying comfort in the sinuosity of a contorted pose. With her head resting on her knuckles and bending to a side to follow the bending of her lips, she giggled through an echo of embarassment which he was so used to seeing on the reflection of his face, in the opaque mirror of a bottle, but he wasn’t when it came to hers at all. “I think I got carried away by the general excitement. You weren’t serious, were you?”

There might be a pinch of irony in the fact that for the whole duration of that dinner, that one had been the only instant he had spotted clarity in both words and thoughts, and the mere reason what that she was right…Like always, needless to specify that.

Actually, when he put a certain amount of effort in picturing a dimension in which he had brought himself to accept her invitation, - as if he hadn’t been the one who had invited her in a first place!-, he gasped at the realization he had no idea how that story would have unfolded next.

From experience, some sixth sense whispering from inside his chest reassured him he would have made a fool of himself. Therefore, he immediately grimaced at the fantasy of a nightmare dotted with stutters, forced coughs and sneezes, hands rubbed against the checkered feast of yellow on his waistcoat as, of course, they would have grown so sweaty at invisible touches grazing the rosy fabric of a pretty winter dress. Oh, and a final, sonorous face-plant that couldn’t miss to coronate the performance, one drawing the attention of everyone present the hotel hall after having spoiled their jubilation.

In truth, he couldn’t remember a single party during which he had ever messed up that terribly. Indeed, he couldn’t really remember a party during which he had messed up in a first place and hadn’t attracted each single spotlight over him. He had also danced with his fellow sopranos during the celebrations of their successes and he hadn’t only managed to carry out the delightful task brilliantly, but he also had also taken their squeals away by putting on display his surprising skills, -and for the record, those were the words of the ladies in question!-.

Still, when it came to Izumi, he was aware it would be totally different. Everything was in her company…Especially the reliable, confident, eloquent, gallant young man he had grown into, that person she hadn’t regrettably got to meet yet in those four months of frequent videocalls. He had hoped she would in those days of holiday in the cold Trentino, but she hadn’t had that luck over there, either. On the contrary, she had stayed by the clumsy Junpei’s side for the whole time, included on those occasions he had slipped on ice and had created impromptu snow angels by frantically agitating his limbs out of frustration.

Honestly. What the hell was I even thinking!?

A little overwhelmed, he sighed and gave up on controlling his shoulders’ resigned sagging: his brain seemed to want to work only to sabotage his plans, or better, him himself. Staring at the glass in front of him, he decided to finally pick it up, but he did just to fiddle with its content, make the precious liquid rotate, generate little waves that failed to make the foam on its surface fade at each lap.

“ Now that you’ve asked me, I’m not sure whether I was or not.”

Nevertheless, he still attempted to clean the one floating on its conscience, though he made sure to occasionally send strained laughters in Izumi’s direction, certainly not as fleeting as only hers could be. Actually, the very first of them, already heavy and lumbering, ended up dwelling on her flickering petals for more seconds than he had planned, waiting for them to completely open and uncover the majestic scenario from before. When he forced it to hastily return on that thin, transparent edge off which it was easy to fall off in the thick mist stretching below, he felt like something had changed but his absent focus couldn’t seem to want to sharpen that perception.

“I had figured as much, but I didn’t want to make assumptions. It…Would have been rude to let your words hang like that. So, I came and tried.”

“Had you because you believe I can’t dance?” However, since those lilac buds could open the door to the only place in which he was convinced he could retrieve the transparency he had been longing for, that’s where that smirk went back, plunging the tip of its curve in alcohol just to be carried away by the tide, in a journey through libeccios, lightnings and, inevitably, thunders.

As soon as he woke up on a dreamy shore, the sensation that something was so different from what it had been lately came before the one of pinkies twitching, dim colours reigniting, gusts of a strong breeze whistling. “Eh eh, that wouldn’t have been rude at all. Many think I can’t dance and, I mean, I can’t blame them: I’m aware I hardly look like someone who can.”

“I have no reason to have got doubts. Many, me included, also believed you weren’t able to sing, and yet…?”

Then, he sat up, no matter where he exactly did, whether on humid sand or his chair, because in both dream and reality he eventually smiled at the crystallinity of a clean sky, though in the latter he didn’t with with the immense relief of a castway, but with the goofy grin only Junpei could crack.

Especially at Izumi.

“And yet what ah ah…?”

“Don’t act as if it’s hard to predict what I was implying,” She retorted in a steady tone while hugging her torso, her natural frankness making him lose teasing duels before they even began. Yet, probably unluckily to her, it was right because her orbs were soaked in so much honesty that they themselves betrayed her, by showing him new unusual signs of that shyness his ears had previously been tickled by. “And whatever, who cares if you’re also decent at dancing, right? The song you said you like finished ages ago.”

Never stopping staring at each other like if they had been condemned to live as statues together, they blinked in unison as they listened to the slow duet that was currently advancing in the heart of the room.

“ Oh mio Dio ,” Izumi trusted her giggles with her comment. She didn’t add anything else, except a millimeter of tongue she promptly hid behind her hand.

“Yeah, you can absolutely say that,” His amused reply followed immediately afterwards, babbling about opinions that hadn’t been phrased, -and to him, they had never needed to be for their gist to be grasped-. “It’s from a cult movie I watched as a teen. It’s mushy, but I remember it gets very catchy as it progresses.”

While diverting his pupils from her after what had felt like so long, no desire for more determination, courage, impulsiveness, stupidity and whatever else you could add as ingredient for an illusion ever crossed his mind. There was only he and the dear struggle of imagining her hand in his, of trying again and, like that, a spell that had never existed, one which, most all, he had never needed, definitely broke. If he had asked her once, he could do it for a second time, glueing his nose on the same wood, taking the same deep breath, inhaling in the same warmth, pronouncing the same stammering question.

More or less.

“I-I like this song. Just a bit, though, I promise I’m not sentimental! It would be nice if, y’know, we could-“

“Go dancing it together?”Actually, she cut him short, and happy as he was, he allowed himself to get persuaded she had completed his sentence not because she had already heard it, she had been invited to dance twice, but because she had got the glimpse of pure honesty in his ponds of honey as well. And…Maybe, why not, of something else too, which poured red wine she had never tasted in her cheeks.

“Uh, y-yes! Exactly!”

He stood up as soon as he felt smooth velvet caressing his palm, tenderly mocking her intention of lifting his big size. Still, he allowed himself to be led to the dance floor by her as if he was as light as a feather, free from all his trivial worries, futile complexes.

Marching, clapping, spinning and rumbling next to that tornado she was, he wondered if someday he might come to find limpidity in the tempest they could assemble together, in the clouds of a storm.

But for now he, indeed, they would go on dancing, not wanting to waste further time, other seconds of that night, another single song from that party.

XXX

Buon anno, Junpei. Buon anno, Izumi. Buon anno a tutti noi!

Because, of course, I wish you all spent a good beginning of this promising 2025, -we always have to hope in good things!-.

Italian notes (not many this time, another present!)

• I want to start from a note about the title, as here come they, the beautiful language gaps. Brainstorm, which I ‘ve found an ideal term for what is happening in Junpei’s mind for well-known reasons, is not a term I can translate in italian with the same “pun”. We have got nothing similar here, so I had to be lamer in my own language merely replacing it with a simple “Tempest in the head”. However, I love how the whole thing sound in my head tbh. I love the random rhyme (I hadn’t planned it lmaoooo).

• Va bene!: The longer, italian “ OK! “ In my head it sounds like the same Izumi pronounced at him in Train of Hope, when he tells her he has got a present… *puts thousand of heart emoticons *.

• Val Di Fassa: A valley of Dolomiti, mountain groups dominating the Eastern Alps. Val di Fassa is precisely in Trentino, in its north-east.

• Teroldego: red wine typical of Trentino. The end. Ah listen, I don’t drink just like the Izumi of my stories, so I know nothing about this stuff, even if my father is a wine sommelier lol. Now that I think about it, I could ask him about more details tomorrow.

• Su!: Common exhortation to push someone to do something. A bit like c’mon…?

• “Oh mio Dio”: Oh my God. It’s always that, but I don’t want to skip any clarification despite repetitions among chapters.

[theother-victoria]

KISS ME THRU THE PHONE

SYNOPSIS: Albedo always finds a way to say “I love you” even if he’s not there physically

TAGS: nothing but tooth-rotting fluff, modern au, gn reader

A/N: where are my winter storm buddies at 🙋‍♀️ this one goes out to you

We didn’t get a lot of snow we just got a bunch of freezing cold wind lmao

This was written as part of the Yae Publishing House’s Ice and Snow writing event!

“So… your flight got canceled and now you’re snowed in?”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

You hear Albedo sigh on the other end of the phone. A few weeks ago, he had departed for Liyue to meet with an author he was working with. He left with a kiss on the cheek and a promise to return home before Christmas Eve but now…

“The snowstorm did unfortunately hit Liyue. They predicted it wouldn’t, but turns out that was wrong. I should be home within the next three or so days.”

It’s your turn to sigh now. The fireplace was lit, the tree was decorated with ornaments and lights, and you even had cookies baking in the oven. Yet it didn’t feel complete with Albedo missing and knowing that he would be gone for such an important season left a bitter taste in your mouth.

“I know, it’s just that I… miss you.”

“I miss you too, (Y/N). There’s nothing I wouldn’t give to be back at home spending the holidays with you and Klee right now.”

You hear the sound of footsteps from upstairs and crane your neck upwards to see Klee standing at the top of the stairs, pillow and Dodoco plushie in hand. She rubs her eyes sleepily and yawns.

“Klee, I thought you were asleep?”

“I was, but I thought I heard you talking to big brother Albedo. Klee wants to speak to him too!”

You sigh and beckon her over. She immediately scurries down the stairs and practically flies towards the couch, landing on the cushions with a loud “oof” before clambering into your lap.

“Big brother Albedo! It’s Klee! I miss you so, so, so, so much! When are you going to come home?”

He laughs. “Hello, Klee. I miss you too. I already told (Y/N) that I’ll be back home within the next three days, so you won’t have to wait much longer. But how are the holidays going for you?”

“It was so much fun! Yesterday, Diona came over and we had a snowball fight. Then, we gave each other presents and had a sleepover!”

“That sounds like a lot of fun, Klee.”

“It was. I can’t wait to see what Diona gave me!”

She pauses for a moment, furrowing her brows and staring up at the ceiling like she was deep in thought.

“Big brother Albedo, I wanna see you!”

You hear a barely suppressed chuckle in his voice. “I can arrange for that.”

Albedo abruptly ends the call, much to your surprise, and a few seconds later, your phone buzzes with an incoming video call. Klee giddily makes grabby hands at your phone and you hand it to her. She hits accept and her face instantly lights up upon seeing him.

You quietly slide off the couch and into the kitchen to check on the cookies. As Klee gushes about her day to Albedo, you pull out the frosting sitting in the fridge you had prepared earlier and get to work decorating the cookies. Klee must have smelled them because soon after, she comes waddling into the kitchen with an expectant look in her eyes.

“Look, big brother. (Y/N) made cookies! Can I have one? Pretty please?”

You glance at the clock. 9:45 pm. It was already way past Klee’s bedtime, but since it was the holidays, you’ll make an exception.

“Just this once. But promise me you’ll go to bed after this, ok? The sooner you go to sleep, the sooner you’ll be able to open your presents.”

She quickly finishes it and as promised, heads upstairs to bed after you give her a goodnight kiss on the forehead. With your phone back and Klee asleep, you finally have the chance to talk to Albedo. His gaze instantly softens and you’re unable to stop yourself from smiling like a lovesick fool at the sight. His bangs are pushed back with a headband and he has a sheet mask on his face. You have to stifle a laugh at the sight of it.

“Hello, dearest. I hope taking care of Klee hasn’t been too exhausting.”

You shake your head. “No, it hasn’t. She’s just excited because it’s Christmas, but she’s been well-behaved.”

Getting up, you head towards the storage room underneath the stairs and pull out Klee’s presents hiding in the back. He must have seen them because he raises an eyebrow.

“Are those Klee’s presents? What did you get her?”

“Just a new Dodoco plushie and some colored pencils she’s been eyeing for a while now,” you reply as you set them down under the tree.

“Well then, where’s my present?”

You look at him strangely. He has a slight smirk on his face that tells you he knows exactly what he’s doing. Normally, he’s not this forward, but maybe the distance was getting to him?

You roll your eyes and blow him a kiss.

“Here’s your present for now. Hurry up and come home so I can give you the real one.”

Albedo laughs at the action, a sweet and pure sound that has your heart involuntarily fluttering.

“Thank you, my love. I promise I’ll be back home as soon as possible.”

You yawn and Albedo takes notice of it.

“It must be getting late over there. I’ll let you go to sleep now-”

“Can you stay with me for a little bit longer?”

He pauses at your question, then smiles.

“Of course. Is there anything you’d like to talk about?”

You settle back down on the couch and stare out the window, where the first snow is beginning to fall, promising a white Christmas.

Klee will surely be excited to wake up to it, you think.

“Anything really. How are the holidays celebrated in Liyue?”

He hums. “It’s not as significant of a holiday over here, but they still celebrate it to an extent. I passed by the harbor the other day at night and it was aglow with festive lights and decorations. It was quite the sight and I hope to bring you there next year to witness it for yourself.”

“Mm. I’d love to see it for myself too.”

The clock ticks away in the back and the roaring fire is slowly reduced to mere embers. The snow piles up outside until all you can see is a blanket of pristine white coating everything within sight.

And despite being oceans away, you feel as if Albedo is right next to you and with that, you don’t feel quite as lonely anymore.

“Hey, Albedo?”

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

“And I love you too, dearest. Go to sleep now and when you wake, I’ll be back home. Don’t miss me too much now, ok?

“Goodnight, (Y/N), and may you be blessed with the sweetest of dreams tonight.”

[yoitscro]

HOMESTUCK RAMBLE

The most troubling thing about the Sarah Z situation is that everything felt like damage control, tactical intimidation, and knee-jerked censorship. Right off the cuff of Hussie’s patreon message*.

(*Does anyone ever notice how Hussie only talks to the fandom when some kind of trouble eventually boils over, usually pointing a finger in one direction, versus addressing things earlier or addressing things period? Such as him having the power to speak against the actual anti queer jargon toward his employees prior to them leaving when things got worse? Or him mentioning the concerns of HS2 that people only found out through word of mouth and were reasonably upset about, such as them getting rid of the content warnings, or the fact that Hiveswap Act 2 was released without credits?

Would certainly make me less irritated if I didn’t know that that message is probably going to be one of his only few that he chooses to write and not mention other things, such as the returned antagonism toward fans. 

But this is also the same guy who continues to write passive aggressive messages in his comic and game scripts that calls everyone else a loser for still being mad about the racism and ableism. (Seriously, Psycholonials is just a vague post in game form and it’s chaotic as fuck to do things like using riots (racially prominent a year ago) in the toned environment of 2020 as goofy plot points. I thought we were suppose to do BETTER after Skaia Net.)

Idc if he’s not apart of WP anymore. Even then, he certainly left a lot of baggage for other people to handle. It’s incredibly irresponsible.

Anyways.)

Those journals have existed forever. Whether right or wrong, they have. They’ve gone unaddressed despite being known for existing. A big name youtuber giving an auditory version that doesn’t take up all the video probably shouldn’t have been the reason that fans finally got some kind of answer, and it’s blatantly transparent that it was to protect the IP from having it’s name tarnished. As if Homestuck doesn’t already have issues that it refuses to acknowledge after a decade that everyone else has talked about.

I can imagine that some kind of NDA was keeping them from talking about Hiveswap to their kickstarter backers, but the convenience of that expiring once Sarah said something gives me an inkling that the people who’ve actually stuck around to support Homestuck could’ve heard sooner. Not to mention that before this big blowout, people just wanted to know that the game was being worked on period. There was actually no NDA preventing that communication.

People wonder why there’s such a rift between WP and the homestuck community, and it’s stuff like that. The fact that Hussie only comes down to address damage when it piles up to a breaking point, rather than earlier. The fact that if you have one criticism, friends or associates of the people who write their favorite characters will maul you in the name of whatever marginalized group they happen isolate you from.

And at the end of it all, it’s almost like some big, surface level moral, because no one cared 3 days after Sarah’s video. Everyone treated it like usual youtube commentary essays about troubling developments and moved on.

Instead, now, still, everyone cares about the fact that an opinion video about Homestuck was getting legal threats during 4/13. After years of a troubled relationship with it’s fandom, this was the last thing they needed to do. I’m trying to wrap my head around what the favorable outcome was here; to look GOOD?

I can’t even imagine what this stunt looks like to other studios and IP groups. I wonder if Homestuck is secretly blacklisted at this point because so much bad behavior has been normalized instead of having a healthy blend between criticism and sympathy.

BC again, a transphobic bigot sending death threats bc homestuck “isn’t what it use to be”, and responding to that rightfully, isn’t the same as someone thinking that more jarring post-canon content and execution of things like toblerone wishes suck some, and figureheads deciding to insult minors, stir character drama, and call other bulk criticisms from the queer community homophobic or transphobic. That in fact loses support, money, and causes infighting, actually.

I’ve never seen a fandom decline in stable activity as hard as 2019-2020 Homestuck.

This is the part where I say that my caliginous crush from wanting to see this IP improve itself flares up from time to time, but is starting to die down knowing that, unless there’s a massive overhaul on how things are run, things aren’t changing...seriously. There are things HS can do even without Viz Media’s overbearing presence, but it doesn’t want to. Starting a feud on your holiday wasn’t one of those things to do, maybe, actually.

I think it’s telling that it’s actually bad enough that I usually refrain from talking as much as I am now, because some part of me knows that some ex WP member, or a friend of one, is reading this and potentially sharing it in whatever snotty chat to once more emphasize how evil of a person I am for saying what everyone else is thinking, lmao.

I think that if anyone wants to pride themselves in not being “terminally online” and in fandom, they should refrain from putting their hands on a story that’s literally embedded and literally about it’s fandom. Go join a private discord instead, or try a different franchise. Maybe have some self awareness. Just a thought.

Anyways, the trust is tainted. The fallout has been followed by quiet, and the current members are reshaping the ground of this community before the weeds eventually rear their heads again.

[cosimuhs]

are u still taking fic reqs? u don’t have to write it if you don’t want to! but: older jamie when same sex marriage got legalized here — super happy, but also kinda sad bc she misses dani, and then she decides to changed her last name to clayton? idk sort of the only thing she can think to do to “marry her when she can” now

im always taking fic reqs (tbh clexa or damie)!! also fair warning i know literally nothing about how to legally change your name lol and governmental websites of vermont were not helpful so take this whole thing w a grain of salt lmao

Jamie hates the courthouse in Burlington. It’s dreary -- the little light that manages to creep through the dusty blinds hidden behind massive rows of filing cabinets -- and it’s always fucking freezing. 

It’s invariably a long line, and she hasn’t had to wait in it for years and this time lacks the excitement of the last, when her fingers shook with eager anticipation as she accepted their civil union papers. 

There aren’t even any plants.

The county clerk is younger than she expects, probably in his late thirties, and Jamie wonders if he is as miserable here as it seems, if the darkness creeps into the periphery of his vision until he’s shrouded in it. 

For a brief moment, it reminds her of her father. 

Jesus, if that isn’t the last thing she needs right now.

And, frankly, this whole thing is making her want to go home, to sit amongst her greenery and draw in deep lungfuls of oxygen until the sky is dark outside. By the time she makes it in front of the clerk, she's already convinced herself this is a bad idea again. 

It’s taken her three years to even make it to this counter.

Three years for the click of Dani’s last name to settle in her ears without shattering. Three years for her to bear the freefall into an embrace of something so Dani that it makes her want to stuff her head into a pillow and scream until there is nothing left. 

There are still moments where it forces her to retreat under the covers for long days at a time, but Dani’s scent is long gone from their apartment and she thinks maybe she can wrap herself in Dani’s warmth in other ways. 

“How can I help you today?” The man asks kindly, once she’s been standing there without noise for a long moment, and it has her blinking through the sharp ever present sting of loss. 

“I have an appointment with the judge to change my last name,” she gets out , presents the documents before she can turn on her heel and sprint to the nearest body of water. 

The clerk’s eyes twinkle as he spots the ring on her finger, wrapped tight around the manila envelope, thinks he has put two and two together.  

“Congratulations!” he grins, directing her into Courtroom Two. 

Jamie can only nod dumbly and her shoes squeak on the linoleum. 

She thinks she’s about to cry -- the great, heaving kind of sobs that wreck her throat and paint the room black. 

Just need to get through it, she thinks over and over until she’s breathing again. 

The judge is an older man with gentle eyes who calls her up with an even softer voice.

“Why do you want to change your last name?” 

It’s apparently a customary question and Judge Bernard nods at her encouragingly over the bench when she stumbles over her sentence for the third time.

“It is -- was -- my ... partner’s last name,” she says, firm and stronger than she feels by a mile, and the judge’s face falls a little at the past tense, shuffling through the mess of documents Jamie’s thrown together. 

“Everything is in order, and I think he --,” he pauses on one of the papers, scans it for a moment. It must be their civil union certificate, with Danielle Clayton looped surely next to her own name, and honestly, she didn’t even know if the document was needed, but she would have sooner burned down The Leafling than come back to this courthouse one more time. 

“I think she would be touched, Mrs. Clayton.”

He’s a sweet man, and she can tell that he means well, but he doesn’t know Dani. Doesn’t know if she would be pleased, doesn’t know what her favorite movie was, or how she took her whiskey. 

She would be, and Roman Holiday, and a shot, downed quick and burning, before she would kiss Jamie with a white-hot tongue. 

So she forces a smile, thanks him, and the surname fills her nostrils and her lungs until she’s choking on the way Dani laughed, full and joyous, the way her eyes darkened with surprised arousal, when Jamie called Dani her wife for the first time. 

Jamie Clayton. 

The name is a bruising punch she was expecting, one that she can feel purpling her ribs already, and it feels good. This devotion, icy-hot and trickling down her sternum, is overwhelming and it wakes her in a way little has since the last time she was at Bly.

She turns before the tears can fall and holds them all the way down the cobblestoned streets, all the way up the stairs into the quiet flat.

She keeps them until she’s sinking to her knees, fully clothed, in front of a full bathtub and then, she cries. 

[dudeandduchess]

Hurt Giyuu Week, Day 1: Breakup | Tomioka Giyuu x F!S/O

Warnings: Angst, Breakup, More Angst Words: 1,848

Note: Hey hey, bbys! We’re finally here! HURT. GIYUU. WEEK. I hope all of you have as much fun as I’m having rn. Please don’t forget to drink some water after you dry your tears (because it’s surely not just me doing this). Lmao. Hope you guys like it! 💖

Happy Holidays, everyone! 🥰

***

She didn’t know how many more times she could keep telling herself to let things go; to keep overlooking things, just so she could still get to keep him. (Y/n) didn’t know just how strong she could keep forcing herself to be, even when her heart always broke whenever he walked away from her without even a single word.

Giyuu would be gone for weeks at a time, with nothing but radio silence filling the distance between them. She always worried over him; fretted if he was eating right, or if he was even still alive… yet her letters were never returned; nor was she comforted with immediate and heartfelt homecomings when his missions were over.

From the very beginning of their relationship, she was sure that she had been receiving nothing more than the simple, paltry scraps of Giyuu’s attention— yet she still stayed. Because she loved him.

Loved him enough to absolutely lose herself in him.

Every touch, as well as every kiss, was enough to take away the pain she felt— but only for a while. Whenever their physical acts of love were over, she was always taken back to her reality: that she was madly in love with someone who didn’t really want— or need— her.

Maybe it was wrong of her to keep telling herself that he might turn around and return her feelings one day, but she knew that it was nothing more than a blatant lie that she tried to console her bleeding heart with.

While women her age dreamt of grand weddings and tacky receptions, she was stuck wishing that the man she loved would— at the very least— actually look at her and see her for once. She wanted Giyuu to see her as more than a warm body that he could keep coming back to.

But those days were past her. Her hurt had been too much to bear; and with the coming of a new season came an unexpected realization: that she should stop clinging to whatever comfort that having a lover provided, and find her own self before giving more of her heart away.

Because if she kept going at that point, without getting anything in return, then she would inevitably burn her own self out. She would be leaving nothing for herself, and that would be the ultimate reason for her demise.

Whether she liked it or not, she had to learn how to live her life without him beside her.

So, with a heavy heart, she sat and waited for Giyuu’s return; counting down the days before he would come back and visit her again.

She even had everything planned out. Her whole speech had been written down and memorized; and she had made sure to always keep her emotions in check— because there was no way in hell, or high water, that she would let him see her shed a tear. She vowed to not be weak around him; because she deserved to, at least, have that much of a victory.

However, the day came sooner than she expected.

The same quiet sound of the shoji to her room opening alerted her to his presence, as the gently swaying of the breeze outside made the wind chimes tinkle. Giyuu stepped in from the engawa, and wordlessly closed the door behind him.

(Y/n) for all her bravado, was sat stock still on her futon. Her blanket had pooled around her waist, while her hands wrung the aged material between her fingers.

Her heart felt like it was going to jump out of her chest, what with how hard it was pounding. Hell, she could even feel her heart beat thrumming through her ears. Every heavy beat had her gripping her blanket tighter, until her knuckles had turned white with the force she exerted upon the thick cloth.

“Is there something wrong, (Y/n)?” Giyuu asked flatly, as he began to close the distance between himself and his clearly distraught lover.

“Please don’t come any closer,” The young woman managed to squeeze out past her lips, before attempting to blink back the tears that sprung up into her eyes. She knew that if he managed to get closer to her, everything that she’d worked so hard to convince herself of would vanish into thin air.

She would inevitably fall for him all over again; if he just reached out and managed to touch her. Because, no matter how much she tried to tell herself otherwise, she was still irrevocably in love with him.

No matter how much it hurt her, she still cared about him; and maybe she always would.

“(Y/n)?” The Hashira asked once more, that time with more worry in his tone than she had ever heard him use before.

And, inevitably, that roused that small part inside her that still wanted to believe that he cared about her more than he let on. That small part fought to be heard above her brain’s sound logic; and it told her to stay— to stay with him and see where things led.

Because there was still a chance that someday, maybe, he might make her feel that she meant more to him than he let on.

But, immediately, her resilient mind quashed the tiny flares of hope that were beginning to brew inside her— before they could get bigger and keep her hanging on to a relationship that wasn’t going anywhere.

If people could even consider their handfuls of rendezvous every month as a relationship.

Giyuu took another step forward, which had (Y/n)’s hands gripping the blanket tighter— while her gaze never left him; as it hadn’t ever since he’d entered her room.

“Don’t! Stay where you are… please, Giyuu,” She cried out, as the tears she’d been trying so hard to suppress rolled down her cheeks in hot rivulets. “Please don’t make this any harder than it already is. Just… please… listen.”

Silence answered her plea, which was both a relief and another dagger to her already-bleeding heart. As his silence either meant that he was respecting her wishes, or that he simply didn’t care enough to protest; she could never really tell with him.

And that was when another realization hit: She didn’t know much about him— or anything of importance, really. She knew the basics: his name, where he was from, and what he did for a living… but she didn’t know him outside of those things.

Yes, she knew of his long silences, and his blatant dislike for speaking… but, other than those two things, she didn’t know him at all.

Hell, she didn’t even know what his favorite food was. Because he never took the time to tell her about it; nor did he make the effort to show her all of the places that he liked to visit.

She had been nothing more than a physical outlet for him, and that had the last bits of her heart crumbling into nothingness.

At that, all of the spiels she had taken the time to practice came barreling out the proverbial window; as they were of no use, since they spoke of love and other feelings that their relationship never really had. She had merely assumed that feelings that weren’t there, were there… because she had been desperate for someone to love her, and she clung on to the first man who showed her some scrap of attention.

“I… I can’t do this anymore. Whatever this is between us… I can’t keep doing it.” (Y/n) gritted her teeth to hold back a sob, only to inhale sharply and sniffle with the effort she exerted to tamp her own emotions down. “I’m so tired of always waiting for you to return my feelings, Giyuu… even when a part of me knows that it will never happen.”

The pair stared at each other for a while, until (Y/n) lost her courage and broke away from their intense stare-off. Because she would gladly lose the battle, if it meant that she would win the war.

“Please don’t come back here ever again. If there is even a tiny shred of you that cares about my wellbeing, please let me forget about you.” Tears kept falling from her eyes, which felt like a backhanded slap to Giyuu’s face.

He had initially entered the relationship with (Y/n) with no intention of pursuing it further than physical release, and he had thought that that was the case… until that moment.

Because he felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest with every word that passed from her lips. He had been so confident with the idea that he would not develop any feelings for her, but he was completely and utterly mistaken.

And it was only at that moment that he realized just how deeply his feelings ran for her.

When before he couldn’t care less about not seeing her smile at him, he couldn’t even imagine a life without seeing her in it— after she had expressed her wish for him to let her go.

“Don’t leave me, (Y/n)… please.” But it seemed that it was too late, as (Y/n) had already made up her mind; and no desperate plea could change her mind.

He didn’t even realize that he had begun to cry, until he felt a warm tear drip off his chin.

“Please, don’t do this. I… I love you.”

Giyuu had meant his words with all the sincerity he had in his person, but it didn’t come across the way he’d intended to. Instead, it made (Y/n)’s soft gaze harden into a glare, as her hands noticeably tightened even more around her blanket.

She had never felt so insulted in her life; because for Giyuu to throw those words at her at such a time was a definite low blow. It was as if he thought that she would be swayed so easily by his desperate attempt to win her back.

“Leave. Now,” She hissed— clearly livid at Giyuu for thinking that he could sway her so easily.

“But (Y/n)…”

“Leave! You bastard! Leave me alone!” The young woman screeched with all the anger she could muster, before reaching behind her and hurling her pillow at him with all her might. It completely missed her intended target and bounced off of the shoji behind Giyuu, before landing right at his feet.

“LEAVE!” That made Giyuu jump in surprise, as he had never heard such hatred aimed at him. So, even if his heart was completely set against it, he conceded to her wishes and left.

However, just as he was about to close the shoji, he said one last time… “I really do… love you, (Y/n). I’m so sorry for hurting you.”

And when the thin partition had snapped shut, (Y/n) let go of the tight reign she had on her emotions and let everything go. Loud, ugly sobs poured from her lips, as she doubled over and hugged herself as tightly as she could; because she had no one but herself from then on… as it always had been.

[ikonicsvtgeneration]

♡ what svt would love for you to get them as a gift ♡

author’s note;  They would all want lingerie for you, as their b-day gift. lmao i’ve been gone for a like 2 months I’m sorry :( hope you guys like this! Also let me know if I should start writing smuttier pieces! 

Seungcheol; His heart would MELT if you got him something you two could do together, like tickets to a concert or to an amusement park. do it Also would die if on top of something like tickets or a couples massage, you got him something that would be a gift for both of you, like lingerie. He would absolutely devour you later, so loving but still rough. He would be so gratefull you got him anything. my fucking baby  

Jeonghan; He would be kind of cold when he opened your gift, which would leave you confused and a little hurt, but that’s just him, he would be embarrassed that you got him anything at all. And you would probably be having his birthday party at home with the boys and lots of take away food, so you couldn’t ask him if he didn’t like it or what was up. He would probably react like “wah cool thank you baby” and you were like... bruh I spent forever picking that out? Later when he climbed into bed next to you, you asked him if he didn’t like his gift. His smile would fall and he would explain quickly that he loved it, but was distracted with all the boys and gifts. He would make it up to you the next day, using the item as soon as he could. He would feel horrible you felt that way, and decided to use the item every day.  

Joshua; imma cry. Sweetie Josh would literally love anything you got him. Now get him something adorable like matching couples hoodies or necklaces and he would cry, he was so so happy. Josh would insist you both wore them immediately, no buts. He would wear the hoodie at home every night, and would pout when you didn’t wear it. When he was away he’d send you snaps of him wearing it and saying that it smells like you. If you got him the necklace he would literally never ever ever take it off, even if his stylists wanted him to wear something else. It was a constant reminder of you, which he loved. 

Jun; Get him something fun, like bungee jumping or paragliding tickets. He would want to do something fun together, not just staying at home with you, or something materialistic, although if you got him something like that, he’d like it too. It’s just that the look on your face when you both jumped, was indescribable. He would laugh so much, not only from the adrenaline, but also you. You were absolutely scared shitless and your lovely boyfriend found that hilarious. After laughing with tears in his eyes though, he would come and comfort you. Even though it kind of sucks for you, it was worth it just to see him smile and laugh, all relaxed after so many stressfull weeks of promotions. 

Soonyoung; Hamster smile on. Get him one of those virtual world head sets. Both him and boys would start shouting as he opened the package. You couldn’t tear them from it for hours. You give up at some point and go clean up the kitchen. He would notice you were gone and come find you. As he saw you, alone, cleaning up after the boys, his heart would get heavy with guilt. He would nuzzle his nose into your neck and hold you sweetly. “I’m sorry I got carried away love”. He would say quietly. You could still hear the other boys shouting in the living room over the game. You turned around, and snuggled closer into his chest. “It’s okay, I’m glad you liked it baby”. At that moment you could hear Seungkwan shouting something that sounded like you’re shit at it chan, give it to me. Both of you burst out laughing and Soonyoung kissed your cheek sweetly. “I think it’s obvious we all like it.” 

Wonwoo; Would be so freaking proud if you got him a giftcard for the cat cafe he likes the best, and a donation to a cat shelter in your names. He would go showing them off to the boys, before coming back to you and planting a sweet peck on your lips. “You’ll come with me to the cafe right jagi?” He’d ask. You’d giggle. “If you want me to” You would tease with a glint in your eyes. “Wouldn’t want anyone else.” He would answer and scoop you up in his arms spinning you around, and you would scream and laugh. 

Jihoon; He would like a Moleskin notebook to scribble song lyrics and ideas in, plus a pair of good headphones for his studio. You would slip a card into the bag you put the gifts in, and wrote to my genius producer (and perfect boyfriend) in it. He would be over the moon. He would climb on top of you (if you were alone), and kiss your face all over. “Thank you thank you thank you” He would repeat in a cute voice, knowing you loved it. Whoever said this boy didn’t have aegyo... or maybe he did, but only for you.  

Dokyeom; Would cry. No doubt. There’s nothing you could do, he would 100% cry. It barely mattered what you got him, because his baby got him something and you make him so happy you didn’t have to get him anything. The boys would laugh their asses off, and shout at him for being a baby, just thank her and that’s it. He would laugh and let you dry his cheeks, then bury his head into your shoulder, not even caring if the boys saw. Pet his hair and he’d feel comforted. “I told you not to get me anything pabo-ya” He would wobble out. “And I told you I would anyway. It’s not even a big deal, it’s just a watch.” 

Mingyu; He would undoubtably already smell fantastic, but get him a Sandalwood cologne anyway. It’s secretly a gift for both you and him. Bonus points if it smells so good you can’t keep your hands off him and climb on him as soon as you get home. This would be his favourite gift, because it would get you to cuddle (and other stuff) him more, without him having to ask. He would melt when you got up on your tippiest toes to bury your nose under his ear, just to smell him. “If I knew that all it took for you to be glued to be, was a good cologne, I would have bought it myself sooner.” 

Minghao; Buy him a vintage camera. He would be so freaking happy, it would be stupid. He loves his cameras and photography, so when you got him a really cool leather camera, he would take pictures of everything, including you, doing anything from mundane everyday tasks, to you in the shower, insisting that you just look so beautiful. He would ask for one of the boys to take a picture of you two as soon as he opened the package. Planting a big kiss right on your cheek, the photo would capture you laughing and Hao pulling you onto his lap, lips still on your cheek. The photo would find it’s way onto either your nightstand or fridge. It would make both of you smile every time you saw it. Also when you were under him, trying to recover from the mind blowing birthday sex you just had, he would get his brand new camera and take a few pictures of you. “Stop looking so sexy, you’re gonna break both the camera and me.”

Seungkwan;  Boy’s been whining about wanting a nice belt, since all the nice belts and bags he gets to wear, are actually the stylists, and the other boys also wear them. So get him a nice Louis Vuitton belt, versatile for both suits and casual wear, and he would pretty much wear it to bed too. You know that suit pyjama that Barney from How I Met Your Mother has? Yeah that’s Seungkwan with his new belt, that his girlfriend got him. Had you heard yet? Seungkwan’s girlfriend got him this super cool belt. The guys and staff would get pretty annoyed pretty fast.  

Vernon; He’s more of a subtle guy with showing off your relationship, so if you got him matching couple rings, a really simple design, he’d be more than happy. He would send you a heart with the hand the ring was on, from every landmark on their travels. Would also kind of find it hot to finger you with the finger the ring was on. You could also get him an Adidas tracksuit (special points if it’s a cool print of limited edition) and he would probably marry you straight away.  

Chan; You’re both still kids at heart, so get him something like a giftcard for snowboarding somewhere in the north of Korea and a nice winter jacket and goggles. You could take a trip up north together, either a day trip or a long weekend, and he would fall even more in love with you, as you were playing together in the snow. He would look at you with absolute heart eyes, as you had snowflakes stuck to your lashes, lips tinted pink from the cold. He would appreciate the mini holiday so much, often taking stress from work back home. This way he could truly relax and have fun with you. 

[juniperhillpatient]

Richie was experiencing the rare phenomena of having no idea what to say.

He and Eddie had been laying on his bed in silence for about twenty minutes, which was a feat Richie would’ve guessed to be impossible for the two of them until it happened. He’d had a decent thanksgiving himself. He’d spent it with his parents, his grandparents on both sides, Beverly, and Beverly’s aunt. It’d been nice. He and Bev had helped his mom make the mashed potatoes, and she’d let the two of them drink wine with her.

He was starting to get mad at himself for not putting his foot down and insisting that Eddie come over too, though. The thing is, he’d tried. The two of them had gotten into one of their biggest arguments over the matter the day before Thanksgiving, and Richie felt like things still weren’t quite right. He hated it.

He hated Sonja Kaspbrak.

He’d tried to convince Eddie that just because his mom had had a stupid heart-attack didn’t mean he needed to spend time with her. She was fine now, and besides, she could afford to hire an in-home nurse if she wanted. She chose not to, and it was very obvious to Richie that at least part of the reason was so she could manipulate Eddie into continuing to check up on her. Will and Jessica Hanlon had managed to convince Eddie to stay with them and not move back home, but it had not been easy, and Eddie had insisted on spending Thanksgiving with his mom.

He’d come over Friday morning looking upset and Richie had just given him a hug and asked if everything was alright. Eddie had just said no and the of them had gone up to Richie’s room. Now, Eddie was laying with his head on Richie’s chest.

Richie was pretty sure if he had to stare at the ceiling in silence for another second, he was going to go insane.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

“Not really.”

Right. Of course not. It was moments like this that Richie felt most inadequate. He didn’t know how to talk about these things. He didn’t know how to make it better.

“Alright,” Richie said. “I get it. Your mom ate all the food and there wasn’t enough left for you or anyone else. Well you are in luck, because we have enough leftovers to feed an army. There’s a fifty-fifty shot the brownies are edibles since Bev made them but that just adds to the fun. Let’s go get some, ok?”

“I’m not really hungry,” Eddie said.

Richie sighed and rolled onto his side so that Eddie was forced to sit up a little and lean on his elbow, so they were facing each other.

“You know what I think we should do?” Richie said. “Friendsgiving. Us losers, Kay, Audra, and Georgie. We can all just bring leftovers from our family thanksgivings. We could do it this weekend. Or today, really."

“Yeah, that could be fun,” Eddie admitted, the corner of his mouth hinting at a smile.

“I can tell from your enthusiasm what a good idea you think it is,” Richie teased.

Now he finally got a smile. “Alright, it’s the most brilliant idea ever. You’re a genius. No one in the history of the world other than you has ever thought of Friendsgiving. You deserve a Nobel prize.”

“I know I do,” Richie said. “I’m kinda amazing.”

“Yeah, kinda,” Eddie said with a soft smile, the sarcasm in his voice gone. He leaned in and kissed Richie and Richie thought, not for the first time, that he had no idea what he’d ever done to deserve Eddie.

The kiss was over much sooner than Richie would’ve liked. He leaned in and pulled Eddie in for a second kiss, hugging himself closer to Eddie.

“You’re the one who’s amazing,” Richie said against Eddie’s lips. “I mean it. I shouldn’t have been such a dick about Thanksgiving. I totally get why you felt like you had to spend it with your mom.”

“Don’t talk about my mom right now,” Eddie muttered.

“Shutting up,” Richie said with a laugh, leaning in for more kisses.

About an hour later, the two of them decided to text the group about the idea for a Friendsgiving.

Trashmouth: so I had a genius idea

Spaghetti: he had an idea that’s been had by 80% of the population before

‘Spaghetti’ changed his username to ItsEddie

ItsEddie: stop changing my username :/

MikeyWay: what’s the idea y’all

BigBill: what did I say about using the term ‘y’all’ smh

StanTheMan: I have to agree with Bill on that one. Sorry babe but no yee yees in the chat

MikyWay: can’t believe farm culture is being slandered in this chat. homophobia at it’s worst :/

BeverBitch: no one in this chat is a cishet mike u can’t claim homophobia

Trashmouth: what about @haystack

Haystack: been meaning to tell y’all something….

BigBill: BEN

StanThaMan: BENJAMIN

MikyWay: ahhaha @haystack thank u king for supporting farmboy culture <3

ItsEddie: let the man speak he said he had to tell us something so shut up

Haystack: soooooooo the whole ‘man’ thing. Not so much

Haystack: Been going to therapy and thinking through some stuff. I by ‘they/them’ now

BigBill: finally!!! another non cissy in the group <3

MikeyWay: <3

ItsEddie: <3

Trashmouth: <3

StanTheMan: <3

BeverBitch: <3 told y’all there were no cishets in the club

StanTheMan: wait so did you just out ben

Haystack: sksdkjaldjal no we’re together rn she asked if she could say that lmao

BeverBitch: yeah damn stan who do you think I am

StanTheMan: I’m SORRY it’s not that I think you’d do that I was just confused. Didn’t know you guys were physically together right now

BeverBitch: It’s ok stan I get it you think I'm a horrible person but it's FINE

StanTheMan: whatever bitch

BeverBitch: ilu2 stan

StanTheMan: <3

MikeyWay: is ben still a good name?? @haystack

Haystack: ily y’all

Haystack: & yes

MikeyWay loved Haystack’s message

MikeyWay: y’all is a good term

Haystack: I like it because it’s gender neutral & the idea of the lgbts appropriating redneck culture is funny

BigBill: ok fine that is actually kinda funny

StanTheMan: I actually never thought about it like that

BigBill: ok i guess y’all just became valid

Trashmouth: well now @haystack has stolen the thunder but do Y’ALL still wanna hear the idea

Haystack: sorry richie

Haystack: yes lmao

Trashmouth: @haystack lmao it’s ok ily & I’m glad you told us

Trashmouth: the idea is to go black friday shopping as a group & get murdered over a discounted vacuum

ItsEddie: stfu richie no it’s not

Trashmouth: it’s not. we don’t support capitalism in this chat.

ItsEddie: the idea is for us all to have a friendsgiving get together

Trashmouth: @BigBill invite audra & georgie

ItsEddie: @BeverBitch invite kay

BeverBitch: when do you guys wanna do it

Trashmouth: today???

Haystack: yess

Haystack: come over!

BeverBitch: bring leftovers <3

BigBill: oh yess

StanTheMan: heck yeah

MikeyWay: HELL yeah

Trashmouth: heckity yes

ItsEddie: fuck ye

Eddie closed the chat with a grin and turned his attention back to Richie. “Thanks.”

“For what?” Richie asked.

“Putting up with my drama mostly. But also for this. For distracting me and planning this whole Friendsgiving thing.”

“Maybe I just wanna hang out with our friends,” Richie said. “Not everything is about you.”

“Whatever,” Eddie said. He leaned in and kissed Richie.

He thought, as he did, how glad he was that he could do that now. They’d been official since Halloween but it felt both like a lifetime and like no time at all had passed. They had jumped right in with ‘I love yous’ the day they admitted their feelings and came out to their friends and the couple thing had come easily to them for the most part. Yet, to Eddie who had been head over heels for Richie since they were eleven, and maybe even before that, every kiss felt like a shock. He couldn’t believe he got to be with Richie in real life. Not a fantasy, or a dream, but for real.

“What?” Richie asked.

Eddie must have been staring. “Nothing,” Eddie said.

“It’s something.”

Eddie laughed and pressed his face against Richie’s chest. “I’m sure you’ll laugh at me for this but I was thinking that thanksgiving is silly and honestly it’s got a messed up racist history, but I am so thankful for you.”

Richie made a soft sound that was suspiciously like an unironic ‘aw.’ Eddie grinned.

“That’s so fucking cute, babe,” Richie said. “I love you.”

“I love you.” Eddie hesitated. “And I’m sorry I’ve been so weird about the holiday.” He pulled his face away from Richie’s chest so he could look at him. “It’s just weird, you know? I’ve never spent a holiday without her. And she kept texting me about how she didn’t want to spend the day alone and how she missed me.”

Richie frowned and Eddie knew what he was thinking. ‘She doesn’t deserve to spend the day with you. And maybe, maybe if you were stronger she wouldn’t be able to manipulate you so easily. She’s just a manipulative bitch and even if she does really care she shows it in horrible toxic ways.’

No. He pushed those thoughts away because they weren’t fair to Richie, who would never think anything like that. He might be thinking that Sonja Kaspbrak was a bitch, or that she didn’t deserve to spend the day with Eddie, but the rest of it was Eddie’s own insecurities. He had to own up to them and stop pretending they were anything but that – personal insecurities.

“I know I suck for letting her guilt-trip me like that, I know it’s weak and-”

“I never said that,” Richie interrupted. “I just said that you shouldn’t let her get to you. It’s not weak.”

“It is,” Eddie said. “I admit it. I just start feeling bad, thinking about her in that house all alone.”

“I know,” Richie said. “And that’s what makes me so mad. You actually give a shit and empathize with her and she uses it against you. It’s bullshit.” He hesitated. Eddie gave him a second. It was rare that Richie hesitated before speaking and it meant he was trying to give the conversation proper care, which Eddie appreciated. “So how was it?”

It was Eddie’s turn to hesitate. He didn’t honestly know how to categorize the awkward thanksgiving dinner he’d had with his mom and his aunts. The thing is, it hadn’t been as bad as he’d been afraid it would be. She hadn’t told his aunts about him being gay, and she didn’t bring it up for which he was grateful. She didn’t bring up the argument they’d had about medicine either. Instead, she and her sisters had talked for a bit about how unfair the criticism Donald Trump got was, and then they’d moved to talking about the food. In short, it had been about like every other thanksgiving Eddie had ever had.

At the end, he’d just left and gone back to the Hanlon farm. Will and Jessica had saved him some food which he ate even though he was already full, and he and Mike went to the back porch after dinner. Mike had smoked and Eddie even took a hit himself.

“It wasn’t that bad,” he said to Richie.

“Then why didn’t you want to talk about it?”

“Because,” Eddie paused, trying to find the words. “It wasn’t that bad but that’s what makes this so hard. Sometimes it seems like I overreacted by moving out.”

“Eddie,” Richie said. It was a mark of the seriousness of the topic that Richie used his real name. “She drugged you and made you think you had illnesses you didn’t for years and said you were sick when she found out about you being gay. One day that’s not awful doesn’t mean you overreacted by getting the hell out of that situation. I’m just so scared you’re gonna go back to that, and I hate to think about it because I just love you and want you to be in a good place and the Hanlons really love you and-”

“Richie,” Eddie interrupted because Richie was starting to do the thing that he sometimes did where he started talking faster and faster as his internal freakout mounted. “I’m not moving back in with my mom. You can relax, ok? I just can’t cut things off completely. I tried that and I can’t do it. I know I should be able to, but I can’t.”

“Hey, it’s ok,” Richie said. “You don’t have to. It’s complicated, I get that.”

Eddie kissed Richie and tried to put all the things he didn't have words for into the kiss. Like how grateful he was that Richie understood, and how much he appreciated Richie listening.

“Alright, let’s go pig out on leftovers with our friends," he said.

“Agreed,” Richie said.

They went downstairs and asked Went and Maggie if they could bring some of the leftovers from the day before to a get together for the losers and they were pretty obliging. Honestly, it seemed like they were relieved to get some of the food out of the fridge as it was pretty crowded in there.

As they gathered up the food and debated what to bring and what to leave, Eddie realized something. His mom was his blood, and maybe someday he would cut her off and maybe he wouldn’t but she wasn’t his family. Richie was his family. The losers club were his family. Kay and Audra and Georgie were his family. And the thought of this family that didn’t make him feel trapped or uncertain but instead filled him with warmth and love made it difficult to stop smiling.

A/N: this snippet is part of THIS fic but it’s sort of an interlude & I think it also works as a one-shot so I wanted to post it separately here. I wanted to write something cute for thanksgiving so it’s late but here ya go 

[spirit-of-the-void]

Connor rk800 x Reader (Halloween Party!)

AN: *me reading the notes* glad to see people are just as thirsty for the android as I am, guess I have to make a part two lmao

Summary: An annual Halloween party is being held at the reader’s house for those in the office not stuck working for the best day of the year. Connor, of course, is expected to go and dress up. Just some random Connor x Reader fluff for you all, possible smut next part!

Part 2

“Get a move on, Connor!” Hank called impatiently as he walked toward the ridiculously decorated store front, “Jeez, usually you’re so eager to follow me everywhere!”

Connor sighed, removing himself from the vehicle with an uneasy look at the store. It was a seasonal thing, one that only appeared at the beginning of September and was gone by November first. Skeletons climbed the Halloween related name and various displays were seen in the store front. He knew for a fact that you would have loved to come there and browse--it was a shame you were busy with errands related to the party.

Connor himself saw this task with a grim determination. He desperately wished to not disappoint you. He wanted to meet your standards with this, despite Hank claiming vehemently that there were no standards. This was Connor’s first celebrated Halloween, and he was torn between taking it as seriously as his instinct demanded, or just...having fun with it. He knew you wanted the latter, so he would try to make an effort.

Connor adjusted his tie, a nervous habit, and followed Hank into the Halloween store. They were immediately assaulted with eerie laughing and cackling, lighting flashing from a corner with moving displays. Connor could smell plastic and latex, various chemicals made for flog machines and the facial makeup required for the holiday. He took a moment to scan, noting various “spooky” signs, costumes, and other Halloween-esque trinkets. And candy. Good lord, how much candy did the expect human children to consume in one night?

Hank saw the hesitant look on his face, patting him hard on the back, “How about you try on a few costumes and see which one you want to go with your vampire shit?” When Connor nodded, Hank let out a sigh, “Try not to be so uptight, kid. Have a little fun with it!”

“I will...certainly try,” Connor replied with a tilt of his head, watching as Hank shuffled over to the fake fangs and face makeup, grumbling all the way. Connor himself felt no ill will toward the holiday, but...his nervousness about how he would present himself to you was making it quite challenging. Not that he blamed you, it wasn’t your fault he was so, as Hank put it once, smitten with you. He just...felt things for you, and he wanted to be as mysterious and sexy as you claimed vampires were.

So he thumbed through the clothing racks, looking at costume after costume. He found himself smirking at some, and the more he looked the more he relaxed. He found enjoyment seeing all the ridiculous things people were willing to wear for the thirty first. Fun could be found in this, he decided, in the playing pretend. Werewolves, wizards, naughty nurses...just about naughty everything. If there was an occupation, there was a “naughty” version of it for woman. How very sexist. Although, he did find a very not safe for work male cop outfit, which consisted of only an officers cap, cuffs, and booty shorts. That had him chuckling a bit.

He paused, pulling the outfit off the rack and snapping a quick picture, mentally sending it to your phone with the words, “On a scale of one to ten, how pissed would Gavin be if i sent him this with a note saying ‘ here is your Halloween costume?’”

He had no sooner put the ridiculous article of clothing back when you sent your reply.

‘Connor, sweetie, as funny as that is, i value your life way too much to let you do that lol’

He smiled, enjoying your use of the word “Sweetie” far too much for his own good. Before his inner mechanisms could start overheating he picked out a few things from the rack, heading to the dressing room to try them on. Just as he closed the door to the small room he saw Hank walk up and sit on a nearby stool to wait for him to come out. Connor would happily admit that a few of these costume choices were outright silly, but damn it they wanted him to have fun so he would.

First costume he came out in was the most ridiculous one, and he thoroughly enjoyed Hank’s look of shock and sharp wheeze of a laugh.

“Oh my god, kid,” He sounded like he was choking on his own breath--he coughed quite a few times before continuing, “I would never in a million years let you into polite society looking that stupid.”

Connor smiled crookedly, seeing the bright red fabric of the crab costume in the mirror and shrugging once, “Are you certain, Hank? A vampire crab is quite unique.”

Hank groaned in pure agony, resting his head on his hands, “Connor...”

“You’re sounding a bit crabby, lieutenant, are you sure you’re alright?”

Hank groaned so loudly Connor was sure the whole store heard it.

~ ~ ~

“Oh no, boy-toy must be messaging you.”

You were sitting cross-legged on a stool in your kitchen with Chris and Kelsey, two other officers from the station. You had paused for a moment in decorating cupcakes to read a text, feeling your face light up at the sight of Connor’s name with a little dog emoji next to it pop up. Every time he messaged you it made your heart pound like a caged bird searching for release. It was silly, you knew that, but your attachment and feelings for Connor had grown so genuine it was almost embarrassing.

You stuck your tongue out at Chris, “His name is Connor, Chris, and he isn’t a toy.”

Chris was grinning, slowly trying to decorate a cupcake to make it look like a mummy, “Yeah but when I use the ‘crush’ word or the ‘lover’ word you turn bright red.”

Sure enough, both those terms caused your cheeks to flush, making the two laugh. You just couldn’t help it, thinking of Connor in a romantic way...your body betrayed you every time.Even in front of Connor sometimes you had to play off flushed cheeks and a racing heartbeat in one way or another.

“Shut your faces,” You hiss, waving a tube of frosting threateningly, “I’m armed and I’m not afraid to use it.”

Kelsey giggled, wiping a bit of frosting onto your face, “Oh come on, there’s no reason to be embarrassed. It’s adorable, we’ve all had crushes.”

You duck down a little, staring down at the cupcakes before you as you mutter, “It’s more than a crush you heathens.” And you weren’t lying--you had never felt this way about anyone ever. It was so overwhelming it was almost hard to tolerate in every day life. A crush could be ignored, a crush could be handled. What you couldn’t handle was the urge to kiss Connor’s mouth every time you saw him.

You saw both of them soften their expressions considerably, Chris giving you a comforting pat on the head as he replied, “Be that as it may, we’re still allowed to tease you. You two have been flirting for months now and we all reached a point where we couldn’t take it anymore,” He rolled his eyes, “I don’t know who’s more oblivious, you or him.”

“I’d say him,” Kelsey said with a smirk, setting about making another batch of frosting, “His poor little android brain can’t handle how gorgeous you are, (Y/N).”

You bit your lip a little, a nervous habit. Part of you was really hoping they were right. You wanted Connor to share your feelings so badly you couldn’t stand it. Most times when you felt romantic affection towards someone who you were unsure felt the same way, you squashed those feelings before they grew. But with Connor...they grew. They grew and grew until you had no control over it.

And it wasn’t just how handsome he was. Seeing him take care of stray dogs, listening to him talk about the mechanisms of androids and the concept of androids feeling emotion...you loved all of it. You looked forward to seeing him every day. His crooked smirk sucker-punched you in the gut each time he showed you it, and those puppy-dog eyes...

You sank down in your chair, looking at the text and opening the picture attached before your friends noticed you getting flustered again. What you saw made you cackle aloud anyway, making the two look at you in confusion.

In the picture was Connor in a crab costume, smirking with Hank sitting with his head in his hands in the background. The message included? “Hank seems a bit crabby today.”

Oh no, you bit your lip and smiled what you knew was a dopey grin--he was charming your socks off, you couldn’t help it. He looked bright eyed and adorable in the plush costume, and you were glad to see he was having a good time. Connor was such an unbelievable dork, and that very fact made your heart start pounding again. You loved that about him.

“Oh no,” Chris groaned, “We lost her again. What did robocop send you this time?”

You giggled hysterically, holding up the photo for the two to see. Kelsey looked like she was about to die.

“Oh my god, can i have that framed and put up in the office?” She wheezed, holding her sides, “Just for Hank in the background. That poor man, it’s killing me.”

You laughed, holding your phone out of reach of the two, “No way, this treasure is mine!”

While they complained in various ways, you typed out a swift reply, cheeks warm as you did so.

“Oh my god, Connor have I ever told you what an absolute dork you are? Gotta say I approve <3″

The heart emoji felt strangely risky to you, which was silly and childish to think about. Letting out a light sigh, you pocketed your phone before you could get distracted again, taking a quick look out into your living room. You’d happily admit you’d gone all out. Creepy lights, cobwebs, skeletons...this holiday was practically the only one you enjoyed due to having no family.

When you were with the people at the station that cared about you...it felt like family.

Chris saw the dreamy look on your face and sighed again, “Oh good god, she’s spacing again. We seriously need to get you laid, (Y/N).”

If you had been drinking something, you would have spit it out.

Kelsey giggled at your flustered look, an evil twinkle in her eyes, “Isn’t that where this night was going? What better way to have Halloween? Confess your love, get that good android di--”

“Gah!” You covered your ears, face flushed so warm you were sure you were on fire, “Stop! There’s no way Connor would ever want to do that...!”

Chris let out a low rumble of laughter, sounding almost sinister, “When he gets a load of those thigh highs you have planned and that butt snuggled in those shorts--”

Kelsey interjected, “Ew, when you talk like that you sound as thirsty as Gavin...!”

“Sorry sorry,” Chris laughed, “I just know she’s going to be a snack.”

You placed your head in your hands, feeling how warm your cheeks were from blushing. You weren’t deep enough in denial to say you hadn’t thought about it, hell half the reason you chose to dress that way was...well...to see how he reacted. It was easy to flirt and appear confident on your exterior, but this in reality made you jittery and nervous. You wanted things to work out with Connor, you wanted validation in a way.

Could Connor feel those attractions toward you? God, you hoped so.

“Look at that thirsty expression,” Kelsey tsked, “Girl you’ve got it bad.”

“I’m...not thirsty...” You muttered, not sounding convincing in the slightest.

Chris chuckled, finishing up the last cupcake with a satisfied look, “Do we even know if Connor has a dick?”

“Oh my god--” You started to groan.

“He has a tongue and ten fingers that aren’t broken,” Kelsey interjected with a shrug.

“Oh my god...!” You squeaked, “Kelsey!”

“What? Dicks aren't everything.”

The two dissolved into cackles, and you resisted hitting your head on the counter to clear your thoughts. This is why it was so hard to stay composed around Connor, these two were bad for your thought process in every way. Lusting for the oblivious boy was so not where you wanted to head with your  feelings, but it didn’t take very long. He was just....so much. of everything. Not to mention you in general had been comfortable in your sexuality. But with Connor, the added feelings of romance were somehow more flustering.

As if on cue, your phone went off again, and you quickly pulled it out. Sure enough, his familiar name was in your notifications. You wasted no time opening his message, a bit disappointed to see no picture this time, but his words made your heart pound.

“You’ll be happy to know, I had quite a bit of fun today. Hank and I also managed to settle on an outfit for me. I will keep it a secret for now...But I can’t wait to see what you think. See you tomorrow evening, (Y/N).”

You held the phone to your chest, biting your lip with anticipation. How the hell were you going to wait a whole day to see what he had picked out for his vampire theme? God, maybe you were as thirsty as they said?

Either way, maybe that whole day was enough to gain some semblance of composure.

AK: I hope yall caught the funny ass crab suit reference i made ;) I have big plans for the next part

Tagged: @bethanystan

[otomates-a]

hey uni, do you ever think about ashy pushing herself to make ichthys' last days happy? do you ever think about her putting on a bright smile and being happy for him even though she's dying inside a little because the person she's falling in love with is dying? do you ever just imagine her breaking down when she's alone / at home for the night because more time spent with him hurts her so much? because I do. I do a lot and I'm hecked up over it : )

HEY FIRST OF ALL FUCK YOU KJNHMKJHNMHKJNM. SECOND OF ALL thanks i live for having my heart ripped out while i’m just trying 2 drive around and bask in the sunlight WOW. if you’re gonna be like that, also for consideration:

ichthys knowing that she’s feeling this way bc as stupid™ as he acts, he’s actually extremely perceptive and smart. plus, he feels the same way & she’s so sensitive he wouldn’t be able to imagine her reacting any differently to the news. he would do the same in her shoes.

him still going out of his way to spend time with her despite that bc he knows that if they just avoid each other and pretend this isn’t the reality of their situation it’ll make things worse. they’re damned if they do, damned if they don’t so like … they might as well ‘do’ right

LMAO THINK ABOUT ICHTHYS USING HIS POWERS FOR REALLY SMALL STUPID STUFF… like his main power is being able to heal, but at the cost of sacrificing his own life force to give to whoever / whatever he’s healing. imagine ashy gets like a fucking paper cut or some flowers are wilting or something and he uses his powers to heal fix that and ashy is like W HAT THE F CUK NO. cuz he’s effectively speeding up his own death lmao rip

IMAGINE ALL THIS REALLY IMPORTANT STUFF HAPPENING DURING THE TIME THEY THINK HE’S DYING TOO like bruh …. relationship milestones … the confession… first kisses…. first date… spending a holiday or birthday together… first time sleeping together… idk… JUST ALL THIS RLLY MEANINGFUL STUFF AND THE WHOLE TIME IT’S LIKE “oh…. but you’re…. dying… we can’t have this forever…”

in ichthys’ route the heroine wakes up in his room after he’s gone off to die and she thinks he’s gone and he’s like. set up a little scavenger hunt in his room for her like a bunch of toys with stupid notes on them like “look under the bed” “now look in the music box” etc and eventually she finds a note from him that’s like “smile ♥” bc he wanted to make sure she didn’t wake up crying after he “died” AND CAN U JUST CONSIDER ICHTHYS DOING LITTLE THINGS LIKE THAT FOR ASHY ANY TIME HE VISITS HER HOUSE OR SMTH just leaves things like that for her 2 find later cuz he’s prob smart enough to figure out she’s at least Sad Sometimes when she’s home alone…

ichthys is gonna be so fucking pissed off at the king for not telling him that by falling in love ashy effectively lengthened his lifespan and saved his life (until ashy is gone, anyways) sooner I’M DYING KJNHMKJHNM AT LEAST SHE GETS SOME HAPPY NEWS EVENTUALLY RIGHT…

i mean there’s plenty that still threatens both their lives whenever she finds out he’s a god too bc it be like that & gods aren’t even allowed to fall in love with a human BUT WHATEVER, BABY STEPS

I’LL SAVE OTHER THINGS FOR THE MEME YOU SENT SMH ://// PERISH

[thnxrick]

❍ ─ hey dudes !! i feel pretty hype to be here. i’ve been rewatching gg for the past three weeks and pretty much neglecting my creative side/avoiding all of my writing friends. i was rping in another fandom on discord and i just started to lose inspo, y’know that flame was starting to blow out. on a whim i decided to check out the rp tag on tumblr again ( i haven’t rped on tumblr since 2016 btw ), and whaddya know, the second post i see is from a gossip girl rp. ─ could’ve been a coincidence, could’ve been a sign ?? idk. point is that i’m here !! and i’m really hoping to fall in love w/ writing again. 

ok, lemme introduce you to a boi i made up 48hrs ago.

A LITTLE MORE OOC

// so um, FUNNY STORY, when i joined i was planning to fill up a connection from another roleplayer here as their brother, but they were gone as soon as i was i accepted looooool. so now i lack a sibling and i took their last name. ah well, gotta make due with what you’ve got i guess. 

// that being the case, it sort of inspired me to make a VERY convoluted family tree for him. i’ll touch some bases, but i’ll probably make other posts getting more into it i suppose. 

// just to be clear, i’m going to keep it canon that he has a sister named olivia, i was straight up coming up with a lot of relationship HC’s before approaching the mun, and some where based around that character’s profession. i like what i came up with so i’m planning to keep it that way.

// let’s just say olivia isn’t on gossip girl’s radar. ─like a jenny humphrey from season one lmao. 

THE SKELETON 

.･:*:･ﾟ’ twenty one, cismale, roderick bordeaux was made in the upper east side and attended st. jude’s. he still resides in new york, and is currently a model who progressively grown weary of his profession. they are staying up til’ 4am laughing at memes, mischievous looks, suggestive stature, eccentric humor, silk tuxedos. onlookers say they resemble shawn mendes. ( al, 19, idc, cst. )

FROM THE BEGINNING 

roderick grew up with two older siblings and two very wealthy parents. 

his family is very popular in the social scene of manhattan, we’re talking generations on both sides of their family.

they’ve always kept up appearances and have made bountiful donations to noble and not so noble causes.

his father ( lawrence ) is exemplary businessman and his mother ( keighley ) is a retired actress who’s found her life as a socialite a “profession” on its own.  

his relationship with his parents had its moments of toxicity and neglect but overall he’s never been resentful towards them as he realized the privileged life they handed to him and his siblings. 

rick has always had a penchant for doing stupid things and getting away with it. he gets bored easily !!  but to be clear his intentions are usually positive. his parents barely know of his ventures, they’re not very interested in GG to keep up with it either. he is the youngest─ he gets off the hook a little easier than his siblings do. you bet your ass they envy that.

he’s always been academically inclined, but school was never really his priority. he spent most of his time at constance with his friends. he’s a social butterfly at heart, and he wasn’t one to stick to cliques. basically getting along with almost anyone. always open to making more connections with people. doesn’t mean he lacked his fair share of enemies. 

up until then he was unaware of any other type of life. party, fun, drama and the occasional responsibility. things took a bit of a turn after high school though.

BEFORE THE FALL

first of all, his ex-girlfriend’s-mother married into his family. holidays already came with the uncomfortable “greeting family you haven’t seen for months to years on end” how the hell are you supposed go about it─ “oh hey we’ve rubbed genitals together, we’ve hated each other for a while and now we’re cousins, want a turkey leg” ??

second, his father wanted college, roderick didn’t, but obliged after his father threatened to freeze his accounts.

for three years, he attended harvard, likely due to his parents connections i might add─ he almost claimed the title of a lit major, but in retribution for a new revelation about his parents, he quit.   

WHAT GG DOESN’T KNOW....YET

in his third year of college rick picked up a course in theater, dance and media, partially due to the crush he had on another student. during his attendance he met a classmate who he quickly befriended. one evening she invited him to her birthday party, and to say it changed his world would be an understatement.

after spending more time with her and her family, he felt strangely attached to them, he desired the type of relationship she had with her parents. and soon enough the universe offered him a truth that could make that a reality.

turns out his parents weren’t really his parents. rick was involved in a tangled plan filled with lies and deception. ─his close friend from college ?? was his sister.

this was a lot to take in for rick, he had an entire genealogy that he didn't know about, and they were seemingly everything he wanted in a family. of course this was conflicting. he loved the people he grew up with unconditionally, but his loyalty wavered the more the truth was uncovered.

A GENERATIONAL FEUD 

 his “parents” didn’t even want him, they were blackmailed by his biological grandmother ( thalia ) to keep him away from his biological parents. his grandmother disapproved of his biological father ( lloyd ) and wanted nothing to do with him or his family. 

her distaste was unwarranted however, completely biased. her issues were purely against his mother ( harlow ). they have toxic history together, and share a hatred for each other. so much so that they put aside their disagreements to work together. there was no way in hell harlow would share her surname and it’s perks with thalia’s offspring. and thalia wasn’t planning to have a familial tie with harlow.

harlow promised to take away lloyd’s life of luxury if he married rick’s mother ( rowan ). 

thalia called for some favors owed, and successfully managed to manipulate rowan and set her grandson up for “adoption”.

unfortunately for the high class devil’s their game only played out for a few months, lloyd and rowan loved each other too much to let go. the loss of a child and the loss of luxury wasn’t enough to keep them apart. 

they eloped against their parents wishes, and lost everything. by their early twenties, they were no longer royalty of manhattan, they were “nobody’s”. practically disowned. if it meant they cut ties with their sadistic families, it was fine by them.

rick’s biological parents searched for him, for years, they almost divorced as a ploy to get information from their parents, but it lead them to more questions than answers. it was eventually a mutual decision to end their search, the pain was too overwhelming to continue.

call it fate, who would’ve thought the search would end with academic career and their daughter. 

CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT

understandably, rick was extremely upset with his “parents” and ultimately detached himself from them. 

he quit school, and disconnected himself from most of his friends for a while. it was necessary to go over his options alone. and soon enough he planned an intervention. in four months time, he planned to expose his parents in public at an uptown charity event honoring them. 

he told four of his closest friends about his strategy requesting for a helping hand, and they willingly accommodated him. 

all except for one. one of the four ratted him out before he could pull it off. and his “grandmother” ( genevieve ) was informed and immediately warned thalia and harlow of the proposition. 

they took matters into their own hands, and made things very personal. suddenly grandma genevieve wasn’t as sweet as she had been.

rick’s ex-girlfriend-now-cousin was instructed to seduce and drug him in his loft, if she failed to follow through, her mother would suffer the consequences. 

with much hesitation she compelled. and on an odd night out she convinced him to catch up, and eventually got him drunk enough to have him pass out on his couch. she called their grandmother right after and waited 10 to 15 minutes for a sign to leave. there were a few stern knocks on the door by two men in very posh tuxedos, she was conclusively excused by their entrance. 

THE SECRET GOSSIP GIRL KNOWS

his cousin-ex-lover left his loft around booty call hour. lacking a walk of shame... but stamped with a very guilty face.

off schedule─ his housekeeper arrived to his loft a bit earlier than usual, having much to do that day. her extended family was coming in from out of town for a familial celebration. and we all know how important family is, don’t we?

she suspected rick was working early as well, and went down the list of her duties. her first priority was his restroom, as he generally left wet towels on the ground after his morning showers. however the only elements she found were scattered pills and emptied bottles on his bathroom floor, along with rick... in a bathtub filled with water looking a little too pale.

with a disheveled 911 phone call, she preformed crucial CPR, and an ambulance shortly arrived─ rick was sent to the hospital to have his stomach pumped, and the bordeaux’s made a private entrance, feeling troubled with emotions of guilt and regret. 

in recovery rick denies the suicidal accusations but was sequentially sent to a rehabilitation center against his will. 

he spent his summer in connecticut, and his family lied to keep press away from their charity event. to what the public knows, rick pursued his modeling career further and traveled through europe for the summer. 

AT A CROSSROADS

all forms of communication were taken away from rick, and he spent most of his time at rehab trying to reach out by bribing his nurses.

one of his nurses fell into his bribe and let him make contact with his cousin. out of fear she confessed and delivered his SOS to their grandmother.

sooner or later, his grandma showed up─ grandma.. thalia. to most and to gossip girl? a stranger. 

she proposed a settlement with roderick, he was to forget about his biological family and continue mingling in his social circle as if nothing ever happened for exchange of his freedom and his family’s freedom.

he begrudgingly agreed to it, and flew back to new york with built up resentment and a thirst for retaliation.

he’s back home now, as if nothing ever happened. last he heard his biological family tried to invite him to their halloween feast. but no word after that.

as of now, his course of action is to figure out what “bestie” ratted him out. what did thalia, harlow or even genevieve have on them. and what could he do about it ??

if all attempts fail, we still have gossip girl.

LMAO MORE OOC

ok ok ok ok ok, ik it’s a lot of shit to read. i’m sorry but not really, i enjoyed myself waaaay too much to truly feel guilty about it. SO idk if you’ve noticed but, i took a lotta of inspiration from the show since i just finished the series again. ─i figured rick is a dumbass but he doesn't lack that much morality to do something awful without warrant. I’LL BE SHOOK IF YOU REALLY READ THROUGH ALL OF THIS BUT HEY IF YOU WANNA PLOT W/ ME PLEASE DO. i have a connections page that has to do with normal connections and it also has connections related to everything you’ve read here !!  feel free to im/dm me at anytime, or like this so ik you’re interested in plotting w/ me, i don’t mind hitting you up. OKAY, MUCH LOVE EVERYONE. 

[cannedapricot]

Decorating the Christmas Tree with! Ong Seongwoo

christmas collab with @alliwannado-w1 and @jihoonslattee!!!

y’all have heard of haunted house part timer! ong seongwoo

now get ready for

shopping mall part timer! ong seongwoo!11!1!

ong never has a proper job in my aus sobdvosb

he originally applied for the job of being the mall gaurd

because in his opinion, the uniform was made for him

also he gets to kick whoever he wanted to out of the mall

cough the annoying couples cough

but he unfortunately got the job of cleaner :’’)

well,, at least he was a good looking cleaner

girls come up to him 27394 times a day asking for his number

to which he gives out fake numbers 

the girls can’t even be mad when they find out it was fake

his blinding smile makes them swoon and they forget everything lol

what kind of witchcraft

is in charge of cleaning the shop windows and wiping the floor on the second storey

lowkey hates it

but it’s better than cleaning the food court :)

it doesn’t stop him from complaining to mcdonalds part timer! daniel after hours though

daniel just grimaces because,

he??? worKS??? AT MCDONALDS????? LMAO HE WOULD MUCH RATHER CLEAN THE WINDOWS

on multiple occasions niel has asked ong,

“since you hate it so much, you wanna switch? :)”

“hahHAHAHA NO THANKS”

ong gets coupons from some stores he’s in charge of and it’s basically the only reason why he hasn’t quit the job and gone broke

christmas used to be ong’s favorite holiday

but ever since he started working, christmas season is basically a nightmare

everyone’s suddenly off work and/or school

and the mall doubles in people

so more people ask for his number and more mess is made on the floor

i mean,,,, ong tries to get out of working,,,,, but he’s pretended to be sick too many times

and unless he actually faints nobody’s gonna believe him rip

also the mistletoe the mall uses makes him sneeze

“lol someone’s talking shit about you again”

“no someone’s obviously missing me”

tbfh if i found a mall that has seongwoo cleaning, daniel working at mcdonalds, jisung, jaehwan and sungwoon working at the toy shop i wouLD LIVE IN THAT MALL DONT STOP ME

for once!! you actually work with seongwoo!!!11!1 arE YOU EXCITED

but uh,,, you weren’t exactly on good terms with him

yeah sure he’s good looking whatever

but every time you see him, he’s always slacking off one way or another

AND HE’S NOT EVEN ASSIGNED TO THE FOOD COURT

and he would be flirting with the female staff and just????

you don’t understand how someone could be so shameless

ong knows that you have something against him

your glares give it away lmao

jisung from the toy store claims that’s ong’s not that bad of a guy

“y/n you’re just too focused on seeing his bad side,,,, give the guy a chance”

cue ong sliding by on the cleaning trolley

“yeeeeeaaaaah ok”

“,,,,,,,,,,,,, i sweAR HE’S BETTER THAN THIS”

sungwoon just tells you about all the shit ong’s done which makes you dislike him more???? 

jisung tries to stop him,,,, it doesn’t work

“ong once lead a girl on in highschool”

“suNGWOON,,,,,, THAT’S A HOAX”

ong has, on multiple occasions, tried to get closer to you

but you shut him down before he could say anything

“hey-”

“sorry i have important matters to attend to”

“oh ok :c”

seongwoo has complained to daniel 472974 times about you 

and daniel’s loWKEY SICK OF HEARING ABOUT HOW YOUR GLARE CAN KILL PEOPLE

“are you sure you don’t have a crush on them”

“????crush??????psh no????”

yeah ok ong doesn’t have a crush on you yet

but he’s curious as to why you dislike him so much???

he can’t remember offending you in any way

and you seem to always have a way to escape from him whenever he slides up to you

THAT IS UNTILLLLLL

y’all get assigned to put up the humongous christmas tree 

YOU GUYS THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE A CUTE DOMESTIC FIC??? HA SIKE 

and you immediately come up with an excuse

but your boss isn’t having it

because,

“teamwork is important y/n!!! you can’t keep avoiding working with ong!”

BOVUBOSVBOSB 

YOU JUST HOPE THAT JISUNGS RIGHT ABOUT HIM NOT BEING THAT MUCH OF AN ASS

“oh hi y/n!!!”

after hours, ong was standing in the center clearing of the mall as the tree was getting put up

it was

h u g e

“it’s gonna take us all night huh?”

he smiles

yOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HE CAN BE OPTIMISTIC ABOUT THIS

“i just hope we’re getting payed extra”

you mumble, gritting your teeth

as ong deals with the guys putting up the tree, you head to the storage

it takes a while to find the box labelled “christmas” but you eventually do

and you make the stupid decision to carry three at once

you trip because you couldn’t see anything in front of you

bUT!!!

ONG APPEARS????

lol no you trip and fall

ong appears a second later to witness your pain

anD HE LAUGHS 

YOU START FUMING OUT OF ANGER AND EMBARRASSMENT

ong then picks up the boxes after his laughing fit and says,

“i’ll take care of the rest of the decorations, you go check if you’re hurt”

????why is he suddenly so nice

he’s always been nice y/n you jUST DON’T KN O W

and you suddenly feel like hm he’s not bad

bUT THEN SUNGWOON’S STORY OF ONG LEADING THAT GIRL ON FLASHES BACK INTO YOUR MIND

shuffling out of the room, your eyes meet with his

and you send him a glare

onG’S JUST

auiKUVDISVB????WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME

yOU SLAM YOUR FIST ON ONE OF THE BOXES

AND ONG FLINCHES

“let’s get to decorating the tree. the faster we do this, the sooner we’re done”

“YES SIR”

and without saying anything else, you turn and start hanging up baubles

most of the time,,,, you two were working in silence,,,,

ong would be sending you glances and trying to start convos but you’d just straight up ignore him

it gets to the point where seongwoo thinks he’s gonna burst

THE TENSION IN THE AIR WAS INSUFFERABLE 

so when the parts you two could reach from the ground was covered and the ladder was set,

ong decides to find out exactly why you dislike him so much

how????? by pinning you to the ladder of course

an intellectual am i right

“??????ONG SEONGWOO WHAT ARE YOU DOING--”

“why do you hate me”

“I- WHAT- UM-”

he looks you square in the eye and you find yourself spilling

“SUNGWOON SAID YOU LEAD A GIRL ON AND THAT KINDA MADE ME THINK THAT YOURE A SHIT ASSHOLE”

“??????????THAT SNITCH I KNEW I SHOULDN’T HAVE TOLD HIM”

“SO YOU ACTUALLY DID LEAD A GIRL ON”

“NO!!!!! THE GIRL LATCHED ONTO ME I DIDN’T DO SHIT I REJECTED HER THEN SHE TOLD THE SCHOOL ABOUT ME LEADING HER ON”

oh

wow how petty of the girl

but thinking of it

you reasons for disliking him were quite petty too

and you just now realize how godlike his visuals were up close???

buT YOUR ASS AIN’T ABOUT TO ADMIT YOUR HEART WAS BEATING 24923 MILES A MINUTE

SO YOU DO THE MOST LOGIC THING

PUSH HIM AWAY

ong: pretends to be hurt

you: pretends to be busy

“you don’t hate me anymore right”

“wow lets not get too ahead of ourselves”

seongwoo cracks a smile

becausE WOW YOU WERE BLUSHING AND YOU LOOKED ADORABLE WHILE SO

back to the tree coughs

ong decides to climb the ladder because,

“i need to show you how manly i am”

but he’s also,

“doN’T LET GO OF THE LADDER MY LIFE IS IN YOUR HANDS”

lets go

onG SCREAMS

while hanging up the sparkly tinsel, ong finds two santa hats

he chucks one down at you while he puts one on himself

“wtf?”

“wE CAN MATCH!!!”

��...how the fuck are you in your twenties”

ong sneezes every few minutes because of the stupid tinsel

you both get heart attacks when he does 

whAT IF HE FALLS DOWN

BRO YOU DONT WANNA GET CHARGED WITH MURDER OR SOME SHIT

it’s way past midnight when you’re nearly close to finished

all that was left was the star

ong pulls up your facebook profile picture and goes

“i should put you up there because you are my star”

UM

you shake the ladder in disagreement

SEONGWOO SCREAMS AND DROPS HIS PHONE

but thankfullly it lands in a pile of soft toys at the bottom of the tree :’)

he still makes a big deal out of it though :’)

screams at you to put your number in 

and keeps screaming until you do so and text yourself

just so he knows it’s your real number

after putting the actual star on top of the tree, climbs down so you guys can admire your work

“im gonna jump down”

“sure but i’m not catching you”

“how heartless :(”

so you turn off the mall’s lights and seongwoo turns on the tree’s lights

it was breathtaking

who cared if it was 5 in the morning

ong turned to look at you 

he had wanted to see your reaction but your beauty catches him off gaurd

and he ends up staring at you until your head suddenly drops on his shoulder

smiling even wider, ong whispers,

“good night”

bonus: y’all wake up the next morning to your boss looking at you two like, “ah young love”

daniel, jisung, sungwoon and jaehwan come in to see you jumping away from seongwoo

and they’re like,

“what did they fuck or something”

bonus x2: ong officially asks you on a date on christmas after weeks of flirting with you

he gives you a box, claims it’s your present while inside is a selfie of him with the words, “ong seongwoo, the most attractive man on this planet is asking you on a date. feel honored.” 

you still hate him

perhaps, just a little less now

i wILL NOT STOP PROMOTING MY TOY STORE WORKER! JISUNG OK LOVE MY SUNSHINE MAN

also this was written at 1am pls forgive me for shitty plot + shitty writing :’)

[yeojagroup]

just venting about my health, emotional whiplash, crippling anxiety due to just Mental Illness Luv with anxiety about being immunocompromised during a pandemic being the cherry on top of it all

really fuckin . Bad day..... so i had to get x-rays of my lungs done to rule out TB before my dermatologist will let me get my stelara shot to treat my psoriasis & inflammation, which i have been putting off this whole year because getting stelara can affect your immune system and weaken it. me, a person who is practically several different autoimmune diseases in a trenchcoat was scared to get it because of COVID. anyway, my psoriasis and inflammation had gotten to point where i felt so much discomfort that i cried and decided enough was enough, i was gonna go ahead and get everything done that i need to get the shot, and i’ll just limit my trips outside for a week or two. 

ANYWAY !! when we were scheduling this appointment at the imaging place, my mom was right next to me and i wrote down the time and date of the appointment, was pretty sure she did too. they wanted us to arrive 15 mins early and call ahead because they didn’t want crowded waiting rooms and were limiting exposure as much as possible. i understood that, thought my mom did too. we both commented on how we thought that was smart. anyway, come today, my mom apparently .. didn’t realize that i had the appointment today? 

even though she was right next to me during the scheduling?? i had woken up, and even poked my head in her room to say, “hey, just letting you know i’m awake!” then got ready. literally .. an hour before my appointment at 12 pm she’s like, “i didn’t know the appointment was today, i thought we still had paperwork to fill out and they’d call us to schedule.” i was like ???????? no... you were right there when we confirmed and i even thought you wrote it down, go look at your calendar. i just felt like .. ah. another day of being dicked around by family and having to be put on the back burner. whatever! try not to get upset! (i tried fr lmao i took two lorazepam) but my mom managed to pull through for me this time and actually got me there.

 i was feeling very anxious and still upset, it’s been a while since i’ve been in a doctor’s office/waiting room of any kind and i didn’t know if they would wanna test me for covid or not. (i told the radiologist that verbatim, btw. that i was nervous.) i signed on the paperwork at least five times that i’ve never had it, been into contact with anyone that had it or was experiencing any symptoms. checked the box on all of it, got back to the dressing room where the radiologist asks you the standard, uncomfortable “are you pregnant or planning to become pregnant questions? and then tells you to take off your bra or any jewelry. that was fine, but when i got back to the actual imaging room it was some intern with a thick accent doing the x-rays, and between the accent and the mask i could Not understand his directions at all.. i would repeat what he said to confirm what he wanted me to do. at a certain point they go back to look at the console and i can hear the radiologist say to the intern, “c’mon, man, you’re gonna have to do this for a living.”

i had no idea what the fuck was going on, but at some point the radiologist comes over to take over and takes the last picture, tells me to have a good week and happy holidays and that i could go put my bra back on. so i went to get my belongings and do just that. then i hear a knock on the door with the intern saying “come back!” and a few moments later, the radiologist apologizing and also requesting that i take my bra back off because we didn’t get a good picture of the left lung that the intern took. so im like . okay!!! sorry! hold on. and fUCKIN

took it off again. radiologist helps me, and we are practically immediately done. i rush back to to the locker room because i am Eager to get out of there. it was murphy’s law, i swear. that had taken like ... 45 minutes. and i just KNOW i could have gotten out of there sooner if it was a trained professional doing it, but despite me saying i was nervous, the radiologist still decided to let the intern handle this. would it have made me seem like a bitch to ask for the professional to do it?? like. i dont know. i just started crying once i got in the car because i was tired of being poked and prodded at already. just felt like i’d been dicked around all day ... i was supposed to have gotten bloodwork done today but. nothing has gone right today so i’m not doing it.

[doctormelapples]

call me multi colored leaves bc I want every bit of autumn

I’m sorry its so long and unnecessary. thanks for asking!!

 autumnal asks

lantern

- how did you meet your best friend? What were your first impressions of each other?

So, the first time I met my best friend, I was at a new school in seventh grade, and she was the super cool eighth grader that I was doing drama with and I was a lil scared of. I can picture it like it was yesterday, but idek if she remembers it. The first time the two of us could reasonably say we were good friends was probably when I was in,,,, sophomore, junior,,(?) year. There was a lil bit of drama, as usual, and I ended up going to a family wedding with her. That was the first time we were close, even though we had been in the same general group of friends before that. @thumper-darling YO mistakes? what was ur first impression of me?

frost - if you could give some advice to your younger self, what would you say?

I’d say,, “do your damn homework, your gpa can’t live through two years of this.” I’d say, “join theater sooner,” I’d say, “you have things to say, say them, no matter the looks you get, they don’t matter.” “Join the GSA in high school before it disbands after the only person who could keep it going about it graduates”

maple - is there a hobby / skill that you’ve always wanted to try but never did?

Actually, I’ve always wanted to sing well, there was a time when I almost took lessons but I was to nervous and couldn’t go through with it. I regret it now.

harvest - what fictional character do you most identify with? Why?

uuuuuuhm, idk. Maybe Hermione. I do distinctly remember relating to a character from a book, but I can’t really remember the book, or the character. Perhaps, Lennie from The Sky is Everywhere, Perhaps, Craig from It’s Kind of A Funny Story, highkey the book i haven’t seen the movie. None of them really cuz they’re like me, more like cuz we been through almost kinda similar stuff. I don’t read about *me* much.

fireside - if you had your dream wardrobe, what would it look like?

idk if this means like the wardrobe itself or what’s in it, but prepare for a long unnecessary explanation. I’ve actually been working on eliminating and reordering things from my closet, so I’ve thought about this. First things first, For Sure I’d have my black, white, pink, and red skater skirts. Black skinnies w rips at the knees and ankles, big baggy light jeans w holes everywhere, light skinnies, and pale pink/maroon capris. I’d have my oversized red white and black stripped sweater, green jacket, black and grey sweatshirt, jean jacket, green, mustard, white, and grey sweaters. TOnS of crop tops, my white one that says empower women, the one with ice cream on it, the camo one that I thought i would have hated,,,etc,, some t-shirts, especially the one that says salty, and my play shirts and crewnecks. basically any converse that I could ever want, my trusty doc martens, maybe a pair of combat boots, and more?? like a key to every department store in the world? cuz I’m selfish asf??

cider - a food that you disliked as a child but now enjoy?

lmao,, pineapple pizza, ,, fuk u

amber - share an unpopular opinion that you may have.

um, people have the right to be happy within themselves? People that are not white have the right to want to love? Pineapple on pizza is Damn good? EDIT: cuz this binch wanted controversial: I think that people listing pansexuality and bisexuality together is violently disrespectful, let alone calling them similar or the same. I think not a single white person will ever be able to understand or even come close to empathizing a little bit with what it means to be a poc, I have an immediate reaction that black is better, and I am always, always prejudiced in POC’s favor, no matter when or what. (controversial enough @mybisexualagenda?? lmao luv u)

fog - how well do you think you’d do in a zombie apocalypse scenario?

Listen I would Die immediately. rip me, I’m a zombie now. actually more likely I’d kill myself so I wouldn’t have to be killed by the zombs

jack-o-lantern - if you could look like any celebrity, who would you choose?

wow,,, Zendaya, Rihanna, HACK JK NOPE ISSA RAE ALSO KNOWN AS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL EVER

spice - have you ever encountered a house that you believed to be haunted?

listen, if you’ve ever been to that old aunts house, that one that you never visit or see at holidays, and like stay the night once, you’ll understand

orchard - share one thing that you’d like to happen this autumn.

Happiness. Meet new people that I love, though that one has pretty much happened already, Meet more people, have coffee, become closer to everyone. find myself, you know the reg

crow - which school subject do you wish you had an aptitude for?

Funnily enough, I actually Love math. I’m not very good at it, but I definitely love doing math, and I think it’s fun.

bonfire - describe your dream house.

I have two, either: a small cottage like thing surrounded by the woods and flowers and a path through the trees to a lake or a pond or the ocean where I can swim and relax and read and listen to the water with family or someone I love. the other: a studio apartment or a one bedroom, in New York that I may or may not share with my best friend because we have no money, a mattress a blanket, a teeny kitchen and friends over all the time. This one is more about the friends than the house, but someone would always be over, out of a big group of friends, sleeping over, staying to study, staying to hang, being in each others presence, etc.

cinnamon - if you had to live in a time period different than the present, which would you choose and where?

let me catapult myself to a time where Drumpf isn’t in the white house. I’d want to live in Ancient Egypt maybe, or Ancient Greece, but egypt sounds better

cobweb - (if you’ve graduated) do you miss high school?

NO

cranberry - what’s one physical feature that you get complimented on?

My hair. and that’s like it tbh

maize - share the weirdest encounter you’ve had with a stranger on the street.

um, that time somebody came up and stroked their hands through my hair super randomly. I don’t let Anybody touch my hair, there’s a list of 5 people who can touch my hair with permission. I almost kilt a binch right then and there.

quilt - how do you take your tea (or coffee)?

Tea, maybe a bit of honey, very strong, and coffee, basically not coffee anymore like a sugary coffee drink, but I do enjoy a caffe mocha from time to time.

pumpkin - do you think that humans are inherently good or bad?

Neither, I think that people learn badly and don’t control their fear. which leads to bad. which brings out good.

moonlit - are you a neat or messy person? Is your room / house orderly?

YEET no. I’m messy. I think better in messy, though I do like it when my room is clean, it’s always a damn mess.

flannel - have you ever gone on a bad date?

I have been on like maximum three dates. So like no. But, two were distinctly better than the one, so that one must have sucked. FUnnY story, I actually saw the person I had the less good date with on one of the good ones, so That was fun.

cocoa - if you could have any type of hair, what colour and cut would you have?

Blonde dark roots and PINK damn i’m always so close to having it but never getting there. I do have a purple hair dye sitting in my room rn, maybe I’ll go crazy.

ghost - is there someone that you miss having in your life?

Always.

[lysitheaioandeuropa]

All the autumnal asks

ayyy

lantern - how did you meet your best friend? What were your first impressions of each other?'best friends' are so arbitrary. but michelle and i had the same training class at work and she thought i was intimidating lmao i thought she was odd but then realized she was actually cool. we're kind of inseparable now. i want to say my partner is my best friend as well, aside from being my gf we rly do have a close bond and i like talking to her and sharing things with her. of course both of those relationships are different dynamics, but i tell her everything, even shit that i know she's not interested in but she'll enjoy listening bc i am lmao and vice versa, and i wouldn't want it any other way

frost - if you could give some advice to your younger self, what would you say?oh MAN. i always say i wish i could go back and just do high school and on all over again knowing what i know now. i would cry a lot my freshman year bc i didn't have any friends and like, i wish i would have known to seek out help? and i wish i had known how outright abusive my first boyfriend was and how not good for me the other couple were. that "attention" doesn't always equate to good, and being violated multiple times against my wishes was something i should have found an adult i trusted and talked about with. i wish i could tell myself to work so much harder for what i want. i wish i knew i was gay sooner lmfao, like i KNEW but kids today are more exposed to that now, it's so easy to find a label or lack thereof for yourself with information at the tip of your hands you know (also kinda wish i didn't grow up in a church at all). i didn't figure out a label until.. far too late in life i think. i wish i knew to not feel guilty about it, to talk about it to other people, to not have to struggle with having crushes on just about all my friends and just being so confused about it lmao. anyway, i just want to make better choices for myself and a better person.

maple - is there a hobby / skill that you’ve always wanted to try but never did?i rly rly wanted to learn to play the harp.

harvest - what fictional character do you most identify with? Why?i'm not sure, none of the fictional characters i read about or anything are relatable to me. i do admire so many of them though

fireside - if you had your dream wardrobe, what would it look like?who knows bro lmfao i have no idea what my aesthetic is lmao. it would be absolutely flawless though and would have a bit evertything. punk, goth, “professional,” whatever. right now i just think i am stuck in “ugly old lady hag” and i don’t know what to do about it. i absolutely hate my entire fucking wardrobe rn

cider - a food that you disliked as a child but now enjoy?i know there are quite a few things actually, but currently the only thing that comes to mind is salad dressing lol. i used to have all my salads naked but now i like italian and caesar but just those two

amber - share an unpopular opinion that you may have.SUMMER IS NOT THE VILLAIN IN 500 DAYS EVERY MAN THAT THINKS SHE IS MISSED THE ENTIRE POINT OF THE MOVIE. TOM IS PROBLEMATIC ACCEPT THAT SHIT.

SAME GOES FOR FUCKING TED AND ROBIN. LIKE YES YOU KNOW FROM EPISODE ONE THAT THEY ARE END GAME AND YOU EVEN ROOT FOR THEM AT TIMES, BUT LIKE NO IT SHOULDN'T HAVE ENDED LIKE THAT.

fog - how well do you think you’d do in a zombie apocalypse scenario?i say this all the time i would not survive that shit lmao, i hope i rly do find a way to make it or die within the first couple seconds bc i'ma be pissed if i put in all that work to still die before there is a cure. i wanna see how society is reconstructed or if it is at all like that'd be more interesting than TWD of FTWD

jack-o-lantern - if you could look like any celebrity, who would you choose?shay mitchell

spice - have you ever encountered a house that you believed to be haunted?no but i am watching paranormal survivors atm

orchard - share one thing that you’d like to happen this autumn.gingerbread houses & a nice gift exchange. i'm excited to spend most if not all of the holidays together

crow - which school subject do you wish you had an aptitude for?i pretty much have an aptitude for everything but i'm not like spectacular at anything. so i guess music bc i didn't practice anywhere near enough as i should have

bonfire - describe your dream house.two-story w maybe three bedrooms (i guess 4 if i magically end up having 2 kids). i would like "den" so to speak as an office/library space. i prefer open layouts with a lot of natural light available. enough greenlife in a balcony upstairs, the backyard has nice landscaping and a huge deck. whole thing is fenced in, white picket type thing so my neighbors ain't sneaking. it would be nice if it looked over a lake of some sort. i have a nice vision in my mind that i know i can't put into words. ideally we'll build a lot of it ourselves. the master suite would be NICEEE w french doors leading out to the balcony as well. bathroom has both, a nice porcelain tub and a two-headed shower (in this fantasy we can afford that kinda sewage bill). floors are hardwood all around, and matching marble countertops in the bathroom(s). the kitchen is a nice tile as well. cabinets are a pretty hard wood as well. alternative is a nife spacious open loft with everything mentioned, except the balcony is much bigger and access to a rooftop deck of our own. a loooot of glass, a lot of natural light over looking a huge city. in the perfect world i'd have that view of the space needle on one side and the mountain range on the other.

cinnamon - if you had to live in a time period different than the present, which would you choose and where?there are no previous time periods that are exactly good for women of color

cobweb - (if you’ve graduated) do you miss high school?fuck no. but i would still want to redo it better. the only thing i miss i not having to pay bills but.. everything else i dealt with wasn't worth the tradeoff

cranberry - what’s one physical feature that you get complimented on?uhh i don't get complimented. however, every year students have said "ohh she's really pretty!" lol like they're surprised and i'm not what they expected

maize - share the weirdest encounter you’ve had with a stranger on the street.i can't rly think of any.

quilt - how do you take your tea (or coffee)?hazelnut flavored coffee w half and half, & 3 splenda

pumpkin - do you think that humans are inherently good or bad?bad, i don't trust anyone to be good enough to be as such "inherently"

moonlit - are you a neat or messy person? Is your room / house orderly?SUPER NEAT  however, depression can get in the way of that. but even then my messy is not at all someone else's messy i'm just picky. my house and room are very orderly and i'm not fixing to have it be otherwise

flannel - have you ever gone on a bad date? not like a date horror story, and the one's i've had in my last & current relationship have been rly nice. but i think before some of the dates i had were certainly questionable

cocoa - if you could have any type of hair, what colour and cut would you have?i mean if i could have any i would try them all or change them at whim. rn though i just want my long dark curly hair again

ghost - is there someone that you miss having in your life?yeah dude, a ton to be honest. but it is what it is