#would be just as funny as it was 20 years ago

[flowery-mess]

THE FIRE WITHIN

chapter 1 (series masterlist)

Pairing: fire fighter Noah x female reader (Tess Monroe)

Warnings: 18+ MDNI! / fire / explosion / death /death of firefighters / description of dead fire fighters / complicated call / description of fire and explosion / being affected by the call / therapy / let me know of anything else!

Words: 3k

Author's note: Finally! I'm so excited for this! I know this chapter may come off as boring, because there's not really any interactiom between Noah and reader, but that will change in the one. I appreciate feedback in any form! Hope you like it♥️

Be aware you're reading this at your own decision, it contains sensitive topics, so please think twice before reading as I wouldn't want to cause anyone any discomfort while reading my work!

Hungry for action, determined to be the best. That’s how you could describe Lt. Noah Sebastian.

It was never his dream to be a firefighter, until he started the job. After high school, he didn’t have any direction in his life, until his buddy who joined the LA Fire department year earlier than Noah, told him about it.

Noah got into the academy, finished it as one of the best and got sent to a station 25.

He likes the life of a fire fighter. He works 24 hour shift, then has two days off. On those days off he usually goes to the gym, hangs out with his friends and then flirts with girls at his local bar. Because being a fire fighter is the ultimate pick up line, isn’t it.

If you’d ask his colleagues, they would say Noah is disciplined, but still a funny guy. He’s young, so he brings fresh air to the station. He’s full of jokes, making their shifts go by faster.

On calls he’s focused on the work that needs to be done. He follows orders, does his job properly and leaves every shift with gratitude that he can come home alive.

Noah lives alone in two room apartment just 20 minute drive from the station. His house is small, but it’s nice. He’s not big on decorations and stuff, but it’s cosy and home for him. He has made the bigger room into kitchen and living room area, the smaller one into his bedroom.

Noah drives black Range rover that he’s very proud and careful of, because he bought that car himself. His upbringing wasn’t bad, but not perfect. He’s an only child. His parents lived in LA long before he was born, but few years ago they decided to move somewhere more quiet. Noah stayed in his hometown with some money from his parents to take care of himself, he used the money to buy his apartment and then had to make money for himself. He bought the car with his and only his money and that’s why he’s so proud about getting it. His mom texts him like once a week to see if he’s doing okay and he calls his dad once a month to catch up on life, but that’s it. He's grateful for everything they’ve done for him but feels pretty much alone now.

So he really appreciates the fire department and guys on his shift, because they feel like a family. They joke together, play games or do make friendly pranks against each other, but when they’re on a call they know they have each other’s backs. They trust each other, because without trust you can’t do this job properly. So when they start doubting Noah’s trust on calls, that’s when things start to get a bit uncomfortable.

*40 days ago*

“Man I hope we can get more than 5 minutes of sleep.” Nick said when him and Noah entered their bunk.

“Don’t say shit like this or the exact opposite is gonna happen.”

“I hope not, I need to sleep.”

Nick is Noah’s best friend who got him into this job. They didn’t start at the same station, but Nick got sent to 25 just a few months ago.

Noah had to agree that tonight’s shift was a busy one. They had two car accidents, one house fire and two false alarms behind them. With only 5 more hours of their shift remaining, Nick and Noah laid in their beds and fell asleep from exhaustion. Little did they know the shift was not going to be over in 5 hours.

Just an hour of sleep later Noah, Nick and the rest of the shift were woken up by the alarm and announcement “Ladder 25, Engine 25, Aid car 25. Structure fire reported at Hoover street. Heavy fire and smoke visible on arrival. Possible hazardous materials on site. Evacuation in progress. Multiple alarms requested.”

“Fuck.” Nick was first to react as him and Noah made their way down to get into their vehicles and leave the station.

“Sounds big.” Noah responded before he started with his gear, putting it on, making sure he has everything he needs on him and then jumping in the back of big vehicle with “Ladder 25” on its side.

As they were approaching the site, they could already see and smell the smoke from streets away. Blue and red lights already at the place, the number of fire cars on site signalizing that it was a big call.

Everyone got to their job immediately, taking in captain’s orders.

Noah’s job on this call was to go inside and extinguish the fires on his way to the fire centre. One rule they always follow: fire fighter is never alone, they work in pairs. Noah’s colleague followed closely behind him as they run into the building.

Others were already running out to get a new oxygen tanks or with workers from the factory in their arms. When they entered the building, Noah already felt something was off. He couldn’t tell what, but something wasn’t right.

They followed instructions on where to go, extinguishing small fires along the way until they reached the big hall where they couldn’t see the other end, because of the smoke and fire.

“Fuck, this bitch is big.” Noah heard his mate and had to agree. He hadn’t seen fire like this before.

“Sebastian to Captain 25. Starting the attack now, requesting additional units. The fire’s big. Copy.” Noah said through his radio to update his captain who was outside giving orders.

They immediately started what they call “the attack” and tried to contain as much fire as possible. He saw Nick along with another Lieutenant run inside and start the same thing.

“Our tanks are running out Noah, we need to leave soon.” Noah just nodded his head and heard the familiar beeping of their tanks when they start to run out of oxygen.

They turned around and started running towards the exit. Once they were outside, they went to get a new tank and update the commander on the situation outside.

The fire didn’t seem to get any smaller when the two of them returned back inside and started the attack again. To Noah it felt like eternity. He was looking into the fire with hose in his hands, trying to find the source like if he could aim the hose at one particular spot and the fire would be over.

Noah’s concentration was interrupted by voice in his radio “Command to all units, there are gas tanks hidden under the main hall. Everyone get out. This is a high risk situation, I repeat evacuate, evacuate, evacute!”

That was the last thing Noah heard before loud explosion went off at the other side of the hall. He saw the fire lit up the whole way to the ceiling, the smoke extended and even through his mask he could smell the gasoline.

When the tanks blew up, the explosion was strong enough to lift fire fighters from the ground and threw them metres away from where they were standing. Noah only felt the ground vibrate and moved few steps back, but what he saw he will never forget.

For a moment after the explosion it was like if everything around him stopped, before going fully into motion again. Some of the guys stayed laying on the floor, some were moving and yelling from the pain and then guys like Noah, who were still capable of doing their job, ran to help those who couldn’t leave that hall on their own.

But not Noah. Noah stood still at the same place and watched everything happen in front of him. He saw the panic in everyone’s eyes. He saw Nick lifting another man in full gear and run towards the exit. He saw others checking pulses of those who were laying still and move to another when they realised the pulse was not there. He saw someone was talking to him, but he couldn’t hear anything.

He saw one of the older guys at his station laying on the ground, not moving. He saw his face, lifeless. It was like Noah was watching the worst they were warned about and trained to handle those situations. But all he could do was stand there and not move.

He was literally facing death in front of him and that was scary as fuck.

He felt someone’s hand grab his arm and drag him away from the spot he was standing at. He realised that the someone was leading a way out for them both, he knew he was alive, but didn’t feel like that.

When they reached the outside the panic didn’t stop, in fact the lights and ambulances and blood and bodies and injuries were even more chaotic than the scene inside.

Someone sat him on the ground and took his mask and helmet off and immediately got him on oxygen. Noah was like a robot, just nodding his head “yes” or “no” when asked questions, his eyes still following the chaos that went on.

It was like a switch inside his body when he realised he didn’t do anything to help inside. He stood up and tried to put his full gear on saying “I need to help them.” and “They’re still inside I need to get them.”

It took three people to stop him from running inside and it took one look at Nick who was sitting in an ambulance with a mask on his mouth that made Noah break down.

He fell to his knees and started crying. He felt overwhelmed by everything and everyone, he tried to protect his ears with his hands, but it still couldn’t stop the noise.

Nick saw his best friend and gathered all of his strength to get up and walk to him. Nick was fine, just smoke inhalation, but one look at him in that ambulance and thoughts of what could have happen to him just broke Noah.

“Hey Noah, it’s me.” Nick said when he knelt next to Noah and put his arm around him. “Just breathe, we’re okay.”

Nick continued to talk Noah through his break down and then helped him inside the same ambulance he was just a minutes ago to get checked up.

The fire was extinguished from inside by additional units, everyone who needed medical help was transferred to the hospital and coroner took care of bodies who lost their lifes as heroes on that call.

When Noah and his crew made it back to station it was already 3 hours after their shift ended. Crisis briefing was ordered at the beginning of their next shift.

Noah didn’t waste time with shower or changing into clean clothes, he started his car and took off.

---

When he came home he threw his bag on the floor and immediately went for the shower. He stood still under the shower for good 20 minutes before he broke down again.

It wasn’t that he didn’t know those calls can happen, he just never really thought it would happen to him and his station. He wished he’d never come across death, but that’s impossible with his job.

He leaned his head on the shower wall and just let his emotions out.

He didn’t go to gym or reach out to anyone, he stayed in bed until it was time to go back to work again.

---

“Good morning everyone, thank you for coming today.” you said as you started the briefing at Station 25. You had the whole shift in the conference room sitting around big table. “My name is Theresa, but you can call me Tess. I’m therapist for the fire department and today I’ll lead this sitting. This here is my colleague, John.” you introduced yourself and John as positively as it was possible in that situation.

“We know things like this are not comfortable for everyone, so we’re not going to push anyone today. But it’s important to go over what happened and come to a conclusion you did everything you could.” John started the speech and you scanned the men sitting in front of you. Some of them were looking fine, mostly the older ones who have been through similar stuff before.

Your eyes couldn’t miss Noah. He was beautiful, you thought, until his eyes met yours. It was just for a second, because he moved his gaze to the ground, but even the second was all you needed to know that he was for sure not okay. He had dark circles under his eyes, so he probably didn’t sleep much since the call. His eyes screamed “tired” at you and his whole appearance just gave him away. But it wasn’t just him, few more guys seemed to have the same feelings like Noah did.

“I heard you lost your colleagues that night. I’m sorry, that is always the hardest part.” you saw wave of emotions go though the room after you said that. “How about we start with how was the shift before the last call. Anyone wants to tell me?”

There was a moment of silence, but one of the older guys broke it. “It was shit of day honestly. It was busy shift for all of us, I think I can speak for everyone that when we went to sleep before the last call we just really wished that the sleep is gonna be at least until the end of the shift.” and you saw few of them nod their heads in agreement, which was great start.

“Oh really? What were your other calls?” you asked.

Another man started talking “Just a regular calls I’d say, car accidents, but nothing serious. Then two false alarms which is always annoying, but one of them was in school, so we at least had some fun with the kids.”

As you and John navigated the discussion towards the last call, you noticed Noah and two other guys were not really present. When everyone was nodding or laughing along, they didn’t. But you knew those reactions are okay too, everyone handles their emotions differently.

When John finally asked about the call the mood in the room shifted, but everyone was still talking with you and John.

“It was horrible. I was not even inside when the explosion happened, but hearing it outside and not knowing what’s going on was scary.” was the first confession of feelings and then it was easier for everyone else to speak up.

“I saw him fly like two metres above the ground before he fell. I knew he’s not gonna make it when I saw his body on the ground. I didn’t want to go check on him, but I had to.” guy with a mustache talked about seeing one of his colleagues lose his life.

Those sessions don’t have particular time stop, unless there’s nothing more to talk about, you’re leading the discussion.

At the end you always ask everyone to promise you they don’t have anything else they need to talk about and that they know they did everything they could. Everyone always does, but you know not everyone means it. Just like you know Noah didn’t mean a single letter when he muttered ‘I’m okay.’ in the end.

“Captain I think it was mostly successful briefing, but keep an eye on them. You can call me or John anytime you need us.” you shook your hand with the captain and made your way to your car.

Before you left the station, you saw Noah cleaning the front of their Ladder and took that as a chance to speak to him.

“Hi. You don’t have to tell me anything, I know everyone handles their emotions differently. But I can see that you’re tired and maybe overwhelmed by the situation. Don’t be scared to reach out if you need.”

“Yeah whatever.” was Noah’s answer, but he still took your card and put it in his pocket.

------

But since the tragic call Noah couldn’t get back on track at the job. He felt better, but still not good enough to give his job 100%.

“That’s enough Sebastian. You’re going to see the department’s therapist or you’re on desk duty.”

“What?” Noah faced his captain next to the vehicle they just used to extinguish small garden fire.

“You’re not yourself since the call Noah, you need help.” Captain said as gentle as possible. He didn’t blame Noah for being affected by the call, but it was dangerous for him and for his crew.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I don’t need any help.”

“You yelled at a kid today Noah.”

“But that was for his own safety.”

“Really? Didn’t have to anything with the gas bomb they had close to the fire? Or what about last week’s call to the clothes factory when you demanded to know if they have any gas or another explosive things in there? Or week before that when you went for safety check up and yelled at a woman for not having a fire system installed?”

Noah didn’t have any answer, because he knew all of his reactions were because he became extremely nervous after that call. He always hated when people didn’t think about their safety enough, but he never yelled at someone because of it.

“I want you to see a therapist or you’ll sit behind the desk. I want the first session this week and I want a paper that says you’re able to do the job while going to therapy. We’re short on people Noah I don’t want you to sit behind a desk and wait for months to have your papers signed, so please, help both you and me and do something.”

----

When Noah came home after that shift, he grabbed the small paper that was on his table since the briefing and texted you “Hi, are you free this week for a therapy?”

---

This story is a work of fiction, with the plot and characters entirely made up. The appearance and name of the main male character are inspired by Noah Sebastian Davis, but the storyline bears no connection to the real person. Please do not steal or repost this work on other platforms without permission.

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Tag list: @lacy1986 @concretejunglefm @chey-h @xmads-omensx @blade-dressed-in-red @respectfulrebel @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @mrscevans

If you want to be tagged click here

[sleepykitty5549]

Mhm! My ask box is always always open! :) [[ @twizzyone ]]

I like to imagine after BLU that he just kinda waddled away and sat like this for a bit in boredom

(Didn’t know what else to draw I spat this out real fast)

[skrunksthatwunk]

actually i'm still thinking about the moral orel finale.

he has a cross on his wall. do you know how much i think about that bc it's a lot.

a lot of stories ((auto)biographical or fictional) centering escape from abusive/fundamentalist christianity result in the lead characters leaving behind christianity entirely. and that makes complete sense! people often grow disillusioned with the associated systems and beliefs, and when it was something used to hurt them or something so inseparable from their abuse that they can't engage with it without hurting, it makes total sense that they would disengage entirely. and sometimes they just figure out that they don't really believe in god/a christian god/etc. a healthy deconstruction process can sometimes look like becoming an atheist or converting to another religion. it's all case by case. (note: i'm sure this happens with other religions as well, i'm just most familiar with christian versions of this phenomenon).

but in orel's case, his faith was one of the few things that actually brought him comfort and joy. he loved god, y'know? genuinely. and he felt loved by god and supported by him when he had no one else. and the abuses he faced were in how the people in his life twisted religion to control others, to run away from themselves, to shield them from others, etc. and often, orel's conflicts with how they acted out christianity come as a direct result of his purer understanding of god/jesus/whatever ("aren't we supposed to be like this/do that?" met with an adult's excuse for their own behavior or the fastest way they could think of to get orel to leave them alone (i.e. orel saying i thought we weren't supposed to lie? and clay saying uhhh it doesn't count if you're lying to yourself)). the little guy played catch with god instead of his dad, like.. his faith was real, and his love was real. and i think it's a good choice to have orel maintain something that was so important to him and such a grounding, comforting force in the midst of. All That Stuff Moralton Was Up To/Put Him Through. being all about jesus was not the problem, in orel's case.

and i know i'm mostly assuming that orel ended up in a healthier, less rigid version of christianity, but i feel like that's something that was hinted at a lot through the series, that that's the direction he'd go. when he meditates during the prayer bee and accepts stephanie's different way to communicate, incorporating elements of buddhism into his faith; when he has his I AM A CHURCH breakdown (removing himself from the institution and realizing he can be like,, the center of his own faith? taking a more individualistic approach? but Truly Going Through It at the same time), his acceptance (...sometimes) of those who are different from him and condemned by the adults of moralton (stephanie (lesbian icon stephanie my beloved), christina (who's like. just a slightly different form of fundie protestant from him), dr chosenberg (the jewish doctor from otherton in holy visage)). his track record on this isn't perfect, but it gets better as orel starts maturing and picking up on what an absolute shitfest moralton is. it's all ways of questioning the things he's been taught, and it makes sense that it would lead to a bigger questioning as he puts those pieces together more. anyway i think part of his growth is weeding out all the lost commandments of his upbringing and focusing on what faith means to him, and what he thinks it should mean. how he wants to see the world and how he wants to treat people and what he thinks is okay and right, and looking to religion for guidance in that, not as like. a way to justify hurting those he's afraid or resentful of, as his role models did.

he's coming to his own conclusions rather than obediently, unquestioningly taking in what others say. but he's still listening to pick out the parts that make sense to him. (edit/note: and it's his compassion and his faith that are the primary motivations for this questioning and revisal process, both of individual cases and, eventually, the final boss that is christianity.) it makes perfect sense as the conclusion to his character arc and it fits the overall approach of the show far better. it's good is what i'm saying.

and i think it's important to show that kind of ending, because that's a pretty common and equally valid result of deconstruction. and i think it cements the show's treatment of christianity as something that's often (and maybe even easily) exploited, but not something inherently bad. something that can be very positive, even. guys he even has a dog he's not afraid of loving anymore. he's not afraid of loving anyone more than jesus and i don't think it's because he loves this dog less than bartholomew (though he was probably far more desperate for healthy affection and companionship when he was younger). i think it's because he figures god would want him to love that dog. he's choosing to believe that god would want him to love and to be happy and to be kind. he's not afraid of loving in the wrong way do you know how cool that is he's taking back control he's taking back something he loves from his abusers im so normal

[hanzajesthanza]

the witcher official cookbook is good of course, but i am fully aware of myself that i bought this not for its recipes, but entirely just to read maybe like, a little less than four pages of sapkowski talking about how much he likes making soup

[bmpmp3]

[saronchan]

@kelean tagged me to make a poll with 5 of my faves!! And let people choose their faves out of them. Thank you dear

Tagging @mrianne @zlotc @gay-melon @xiabnuy to do it next <3

[qulizalfos]

full circle moment

[courtillyy]

i do genuinely think im very funny for setting this fic seven months in the future. its lowkey implying like,, not saying this happened but u cant say it never will - and also theres so much time for shit to go sideways in that time lmfao

[memento-morri-writes]

It's been well over a week now (maybe two??) but I'm still plugging away (ever-so-slowly) at this vignette about Zara and Rook. Zara's POV is a lot of fun to write, now that I have a better sense of her character. Writing this has really solidified in my mind the kind of person she is and how she acted when she was Rook's captain and mentor. She's very calm and collected in comparison to Rook, even when under a lot of stress.

Anyways, have a little snippet that I'm proud of from today, featuring the origins of the coin trick!

Pacing back and forth across her cabin floor, she rolled the coin back and forth over her knuckles again and again. The motion was easy, almost mindless, more muscle memory than real intent. The coin trick had been her favorite way to soothe her nerves for years now. She’d picked it up out of idle curiosity after watching a street performer dining in a tavern in Bon Largo, who had chatted with her for over an hour as she fretted about something mundane, never once dropping the coin from their fingers. The same performer had later tried to steal her coin purse and ended up with nothing but a new scar for their trouble, but Zara had learned two important things from the encounter: Not to trust a warm smile and a pretty face, and that keeping her hands moving kept her mind from dwelling too much on worrisome things.

one-time tagging @space-writes because they commented on my tags about Rook learning the coin trick from Zara in one of my other snippets from this piece.

[dinosaur-mayonnaise]

aro fukazawa is canon in my heart

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

idk what the fandom consensus is on yuma raincode's age but in the game i generally assumed he was like 14-16 and after the game im even more convince about that. the reason is after chapter 5 i was confused why makoto, yuma's clone who should be genetically identical to yuma and also the same age, is much taller than yuma himself. but if they used yuma's dna to clone makoto 3 years before the events of rain code, yuma would have been about 11-13, which is generally right before boys hit a growth spurt.

the idea of a boy detective becoming the head of a global detective organization isn't really too out there in a kodaka game tbh. and the child prodigy detective is a really popular trope anyway. but yeah yuma as the head of the WDO would have lived on nothing but coffee, protein bars, and like 3 hours of sleep a day during the time where he was supposed to be growing taller. meanwhile makoto, who doesn't really get to do much in kanai ward even after becoming the CEO, would have had three square nutritious meals a day and plenty of sleep. hence why makoto grew taller like a normal teenager and yuma will be a short king forever.

[mariska]

woke up. took my daily morning medications. sat down and turned the tv on. scrolled through some channels to see whats showing what. sponsored comcast ad for the 2004 4Kids english dubbed Yu-Gi-Oh movie right there in the middle of the regular modern channel guide screen

[cowboytism]

it will never get less funny to engage so fully in the iwtv fandom on here, going truly crazy over gay vampires and reading and writing meta-textual analysis, only to close the app and remember that the primary person i watch this show with irl is my dad

[daphnalia]

only the funniest things being allowed in goofs realm is giving me hope for yeet bigly content cause name anything funnier in regards to this godforsaken podcast

[dualumina]

Authors: "Okay this omegaverse is going to be fairly realistic. As a result heat suppressors exist, and [insert author's perception of what the average healthcare system is like] which defines how readily available they are."

Healthcare issues reflected in yaoi ✊😔

[nightmare8-420]

sorry if its been bland chat

will try to have more mental breakdowns on main 😔😔