#would argue less on games that let you design your own character given its already giving that freedom to player

[cloud-ya]

I'd argue over playing a game's story with appearance changing mods without experiencing original models first

but given I'm already (almost?) done with everything in mh rise and sunbreak,

[laur-rants]

Schrodinger’s Game Theory: The Fate of Daud

Ever come up with a theory, and then halfway through creating it, the evidence changes and so you’re stuck with a lot of well-put-together ideas but nowhere to go with it?

Anyway, I did that with Daud. Lol.

I just rediscovered a whole ass rant in my drafts (which is now in the link above for private viewing and judgement PLS read it, if you’re missing some context to this post) that I clearly spent a lot of time and energy on, where I came to the conclusion that Daud in Death of the Outsider is actually a imposter/doppelganger, and it was because of the writing from the book contrasted the writing in DotO so poorly, that I came to believe this. I was like, VERY convinced prior to Billie’s book coming out that this was, in fact, a viable game theory. !00%. There was a chance that out there, somewhere, Daud was still stuck in his mind, and needed someone to come rescue him. Stranger things have happened to explain characters coming back from the dead in a video game, okay?

Somewhere along the line, though, it stopped being game theory and was more like, a fan idea. I had collected enough evidence to come to the conclusion that my theory wasn’t sound. That, and Billie’s book released, and there’s no way I could argue that. Instead, imposter!Daud moved to Fan Theory, something I could fictionally, write about, put into an AU.

But... Just because it’s probably not true in the scheme of the game doesn’t stop me from thinking about it, from wanting to talk and share those ideas with others. Even if, at the end of the day, they hold no water and it wouldn't matter because, well. If Billie’s book is to be considered post-DotO canon, then there’s no reason to believe my theory would hold weight. It wouldnt matter, because Daud well, he was left for dead either way. Nobody was coming to rescue him. I’m sure there’s plenty of questions people have in response to this, the most chief one being

“If its not Daud how is he in the Void talking to the Outsider and Billie at the end of DotO??”

And my usual response is: the end of Return of Daud saw Daud becoming trapped within his own mind, through a trap laid by witches from the very beginning of the book. That meant, even if his physical body was still, well, physical, he was trapped inside his mind.

I proposed that out of survival, well, a sliver of his mind would hole itself up in the Void, maybe even be stuck there (this is not so uncommon as it appears; think of what happened to Jessamine in the Heart). Once the spell on his mind and the Outsider were gone, the sliver could return back to his mind. And he’d still be alive.

From a gamer perspective, looking at the mechanics of the game, and everything else, it makes sense. I’m sure some people would say this theory would ‘cheapen Daud’s death’ and I would refute that by simply saying ‘all of DotO cheapened Daud’s death, and despite being a playable character in the franchise he dies unceremoniously off screen and we just take Billie’s word for his death to heart.’ Nothing cheapens a death faster in my head than ‘time to renege on this character’s entire past arch and have him die off-screen.’ His death was ruined far before they went into the Void. If anything, this would give Daud a change to explain himself. 

But I digress. I actually did do a stupid amount of research on this. And what it all really boils down to is that there was bad writing involved in DotO when it came to timeline consistency and quality checkers not checking for that, + the book having been rewritten like, twice, to keep up with what Arkane was changing in DotO in real time.

That’s post marked 9/25/18. I’ve had this theory sitting around for a long time. I enjoyed it. I find it compelling. But ultimately, it was me trying to save Daud, in my mind. Would it be cool for the witches to have stolen Daud, replaced him with a dummy body Eyeless/Envisioned, given that dummy body his memories, and then, when it had outlived it’s usefulness of sending Billie astray, the magic broke and it perished? Hell yeah it would have been cool. and honestly, according to the books, it was a viable option! They could do all those things. You can’t tell me that

Billie can steal faces,

Emily can create copies and

They witches had access to a gemstone that can make prisoners of their own mind/see the thoughts of others,

and NOT immediately think that they’d try and replicate one of the strongest Marked to ever live. The one that TRAPPED DELILAH, no less. And because the witches messed with Daud’s dreams at the beginning of the book (it’s subtle, but its there, its like, you see it on the reread sort of thing), that’s the whole reason he thinks the Outsider is supposed to die, so of course the double would fervently believe the singular obsession that brought Daud into a trap in the first place...

I’m digressing again. Anyway.

What does this mean for Dear old Daud?

It means Daud canonically died, and it was shitty and poorly written and I’ll be salty about that until the day I die because some schmuck on twitter wrote one singular essay and Harvey Smith decided ‘you. you’re the one who needs to write this story’ and then we got Corvosider fanfic in a Dishonored game and I wanted to die. It doesn’t help that this writer was notoriously pretentious and shit-stirring in the fandom at-large BEFORE their hiring-- anyway, this isn’t a salt piece on that. I AM SALTY ABOUT IT, but I’m not the person to discuss it at length. Just know that that’s why some of the narrative decisions in DotO are so out of fucking whack, and we all have to deal with it.

MOVING ON....

There is still... a very slim chance. To save Daud.

Realistically speaking, this chance will never occur. It’s clear and obvious that Arkane has no plans on returning to the Dishonored universe, so despite all these loose ends that Arkane left and all these pieces that need to be picked up and all this lore that’s been reneged on, there’s really not much of a chance that we’ll see, say, Billie, return in a game that is specifically designed to save the timelines. Which, honestly, would be fucking baller. I want a game where I play as Billie, where the shattered timespace of Dunwall is saved by her capable hand, and Emily is free to rule for decades without having to fear that the Isles will fall into the Void like it’s Deimos falling into Hell in DOOM. We KNOW the timelines are saved because we KNOW that Emily has a long and Just (or unjust, if you went high chaos lol) Rule over the kingdom. That can’t happen if, just three years down the line, Billy is running all over the place trying to make sure time doesn’t break at the seams.

But that’s the thing, isn’t it? Because of how Daud meets Billie in RoD, we know that a Billie three years into the future (’YOUR future,’ she tells him) is trying to save his life. There are other timelines she’s saved already, for sure. Including saving Daud in the past, saving Corvo and Emily in the past, saving Granny Rags in the past -- basically, saving all the Marked from coming to an untimely end. And then, after all that, she goes back in time and tries to save Daud, tries to save him from being poisoned by witch magic and falling into a trap that is triggered when he touches her Future version of the Twin-bladed Knife. She goes through a sort of Groundhog Day scenario, where she confesses that she’s tried hundreds of times to save him, and she couldn’t save that Daud.

But why show us Billie failing to save Daud, if she was destined for failure? Because, eventually, she must succeed.

And therein lies Daud’s (potential) salvation. Is it realizing the other Daud is an imposter? Well... let’s think of it this way. Is the Billie who regained her arm and eye an ‘imposter’ where the ‘real’ Billie is in a timeline where she lost those body parts? Is the Aramis Stilton who went mad in the basement of his mansion the imposter? Or is it the one that Emily saved and was able to keep lucid? These people aren’t ‘imposters’ to their timelines, but they kind of are to the timelines that are saved. Which means DotO could be an entirely separate ‘timeline’, one that we manage to play through and see the ending of. But the ‘true timeline’ may never be known. But at least, we know it happens, and we have Billie to thank for that.

FIN.

[ohsweetflips]

I think Undyne's determination has less to do with like something that happened in the past and more like the overlap between determination as an actual physical thing VS a spiritual thing. Whereas the amalgamates were injected with determination by Alphys, Undyne makes her OWN. You've killed her best friend. You're going to kill the love of her life. You're going to kill her mentor. You're going to kill everyone. You've killed HER. But she still has to stop you. Everyone is counting on her 1/2

Undyne's whole motif is letting the monsters of the Underground achieve their hopes and dreams. Theres a reason she is the boss fight in Waterfall, the most backstory rich area in the game. Hope and dreams have just as much weight as determination does, its what helps you defeat Asriel. And Undyne the Undying's design mimics Asriel's because in Genocide SHE is the heroine, SHE is the determined hero that defies death in order to save everyone she loves via the hopes and dreams of everyone (2/2)

Sorry I just really fucking love Undyne Undertale fhfhfndkdk she willingly letting herself be used in an experiment to help her people is Very Good tho too hmmmm

!!!!

sorry ur abt to get a whole essay i love undertale so much.........

(also i use a lot of !!! for emphasis, not bc i’m yelling omg)

(also i’m letting you know this is an incoherent mess, it is 2am here akjsdkjsdjk)

but you can definitely be right!!!! tbh your idea seems much more par for the course than the spaghetti im throwing at the wall

even then, though, it’s stll so interesting bc like!!!! undyne’s courage is undeniable, and her fight to protect the underground plays Such a huge role in her whole waterfall arc. and, in the spiritual sense, she is absolutely determined!! that just makes me WONDER though bc, like, canonically, monsters Are Not determined! they don’t have that threshold!

and then, in looking at determination in the spiritual sense, what exactly makes undyne different? is it that her desire to live and protect the underground unlocks that threshold needed for determination? at one point, could monsters be determined, but then their millennia trapped underground biologically/psychologically stripped them of that? so then could any monster in the underground, when facing high enough stakes, have that determination? or is it just undyne?

bc then i think about the other bosses in either route, like papyrus, mettaton, asgore, sans. where undyne is the monster/boss capable of possessing determination, sans is probably the one least likely to have any threshold for determination (this is bc his entire boss fight is him realizing he can no longer be an observer, he is literally the last line of defense between chara and the annihilation of all monsters). mettaton is complicated bc as a napstablook turned corporeal, i dont even know where to BEGIN with him. but then there’s papyrus and!! it feels like he should be capable of feeling determined. in both the pacifist and genocide route, he is so assured that the human has some internal goodness. while, in the genocide route, that hope could be translated to fear, that still makes me wonder: under what circumstances could a monster’s determination be unlocked? is it not solely life or death? does it require some ulterior motives (aka undyne’s whole character being protecting the underground)? and like!!! it’s just so fun to think about bc, say it is undyne’s spiritual determination being unlocked, it’s so interesting that she’s the one differentiated!! that even papyrus, a character brimming with good and happiness and love, doesn’t have that determination, but undyne, who has a similar type of passion and goodness within her, does!!!

with experiment undyne, i will admit my theory is very much uhh wild! and unhinged! and, while my theory is much more playing in the “what if’s” of the science of artificial determination, it still makes me wonder! especially in the boss fight herself. ever since i first saw her genocide boss fight, i’ve always been a bit fixated on her eye, specifically the one w/ the eye-patch that eventually seems to have Some type of arrow power. while this definitely could have just been A Design Choice (and one i stand by!!), undertale is a game that reveals its complete lore when the pacifist and genocide route are put together. thus, in a hypothetical situation, i don’t think it would be out of the question that undyne’s eye could still Do that even in a pacifist route.

but even then, there are holes to poke! such as why doesn’t she use it? if undyne has been injected with artificial determination, why is she, frankly, normal until it’s a matter of life and death?

(to cut to the punchline before i get into my bullshit: i think it’s bc, at first, it seemed as if the artificial determination just Didn’t Work and had no affect, when in reality it needed to be met with spiritual determination as well)

and, again, i know i’m playing with a lot of hypotheticals right now, and mostly this is me just kinda fun bullshit theorizing, but i think it could have something to do with the fact that she has the threshold for spiritual determination! the reason i even think that she would offer herself up to determination experimentation is bc of the loyalty and love she has for asgore and the underground. i would argue that she is just as invested in asgore’s plan as asgore himself is, and she obviously sees him as some type of father-figure. so that alone gives her this Drive to do whatever it takes for the underground to survive.

so, therefore, i think in regards to this hypothetical experiment undyne, i think it quite literally is that spiritual determination threshold combined with artificial determination

and for that, i quickly want to talk abt the amalgamates and why they tie into this:

the timeline: corpses/souls injected with determination --> no reaction --> corpses wake up and act normal --> ??? happens  --> (quickly leads to) amalgamates

and so then that once again raises the question: what differentiates undyne? 

i think, for that, we then have to consider another question: if most monsters do not have the physical determination to continue living after death, can that determination be given when they’re already dead? monsters in general already have no threshold for determination, so can that be artificially made if it never existed in the first place? 

bc while alphys’s experiment, iirc, was to see what happened when a soul was injected with determination, i think the other much needed question is if monster souls could even Handle determination

and, while we do not know specifically what went wrong with the amalgamates (aka like How did they melt together), we do know that their physical forms really were not able to handle the artificial determination, imo most likely bc they do not even have a threshold for spiritual determination

but undyne is, as you have noted, different!

so, frankly, i think you’re right! i think undyne does have an inherent spiritual determination. it’s uncommon in monsters, but her want to save the world is enough to leave her determined

however, i think That would have just been enough to keep her alive

i think it’s artificial determination that gave her that final form! to reference  back to the amalgamates, they were all creatures whose powers we had seen before, but different now and, specifically, more powerful. that very same thing could be said for undyne! her powers are, essentially, things we have seen before, but fucking to Max Intensity 

AND THEN!! AND THEN!!!!!

when you do kill heroine undyne, she doesn’t turn to dust first

she melts first, and then turns to dust!!!!!

and, honestly, it’s that small detail that sent me down this rabbit hole, bc the only ever time we’ve seen monsters melted together are the amalgamates!

i think the main difference between heroine undyne and the amalgamates is the fact that undyne, at first, had No Reaction to the determination at first bc, since she most likely already had this secret threshold for spiritual determination, it wasn’t the Biggest of changes. it wouldn’t have had such a drastic reaction on her physical form bc, even if she didn’t know it yet, it wasn’t an entirely foreign substance

the amalgamates, however, aka monsters who had no spiritual determination, could only handle the artificial determination for an unknown amount of time before their bodies began rejecting the chemicals and becoming..... that

of course, then, this leaves me with even more questions, such as could undyne sustain this final form? would her body eventually give out, overcome by determination? was this form only meant for life or death situations?

and uhhh i think this is the end!! if you made it this far and are thinking to urself “damn you’re really an english major when you write like this?? this isn’t even comprehensible” do not fret!! i know this theory is kinda a shitshow, and it’s one of those things where i can keep myself up all night thinking abt this and talking myself in circles bc there are some points that i think have strengths and other points that are probably pretty weak

basically though!! i see the connection between artificial determination and undyne through the fact that her form actually changes, the reveal of her legit power eye, the way her attacks have been altered, and the fact that she melts at the end (akin to the amalgamates’ appearances) before poofing into dust

this has been,,,, a shitshow i am so sorry i hope this was at least somewhat understandable ajkdsjkdsjk

[aj-anime-blog]

Deca-Dence - Review!

Wooooo Deca-Dence!

Deca-Dence was a summer 2020 anime, and that’s when I originally watched it! I've watched it about a dozen times since, as it landed itself right on my roster of my favorite animes, if not my favorite of all time.

Deca-Dence is an original piece, so no manga source material (whaaat!) and comes from the genius brain of Yuzuru Tachikawa, the director of other fan-favorites like Mob Psycho 100 and Death Parade (a review for Death Parade is in the making!). Original mangas are such a hit-or-miss recently, and I think that this one got the bullseye!

What's our concept?: Set in the future, the world is now plagued by monsters known as Gadolls. In an attempt to keep humans safe from them, mobile fortress Deca-Dence was constructed, where Gears, who live near the top, fight the Gadolls, and Tankers, who live at the bottom, provide support from inside Deca-Dence. Our protag, Natsume, is a Tanker who wants to fight with the Gears, but her prosthetic arm keeps her out of battle. That is until she meets Kaburagi, an older Tanker who seems to know his way around fighting and might have more to him than he lets on.

It's gonna be hard to go through this without spoilers, but I promise that I'll keep it spoiler-free until the section at the bottom!

So overall, what do I think?: 10/10! I've already said it, but Deca-Dence is one of my favorite animes of all time, and it deserves the spot! It has incredible characters, a story that keeps you hooked even through twists and turns, and a pace that manages to cram so much plot into only 12 episodes without feeling overwhelming or rushed! Deca-Dence presents ideas that, at the surface, may seem overused or old, but spins them in such a way that they're completely original. It follows through with character relationships, making them worthwhile and fulfilling.

Let's start with the story this time!: 10/10!! It's going to be really hard to explain the beauty of Deca-Dence's plot without spoiling it, but I'm doing my best! I really do recommend just giving the show a try, though, as it's really worth it! (Don't just drop it after episode 2, like a lot of people did :( That's just judging it wayyy too early!!)

Deca-Dence has a story that's thrilling and new. Everything that happens builds off of itself in a way that's natural and smooth. The elements of the story, no matter how different they may seem, play their part and work together well. The show isn't predictable either - don't go in thinking that you know what's going to become of it. Each twist feels surprising and new without feeling like they're coming out of left field.

I won't say much more in fear of ruining it, but Deca-Dence's story holds up well, and with its strong cast of characters supporting it, it becomes absolutely suburb. I think a lot of people fell into this pit of seeing only the beginning and tossing it aside, but no matter how strange the concepts in it may be, they wind together to form something really unique!

So those characters, huh?: 11/10, I love them so much! I'm a character nerd through and through, and Deca-Dence sends my little character-obsessed heart wild. The protags, Natsume and Kaburagi, are both fascinating, have incredible development, and engage in a character dynamic that is so natural and well-written that I never doubted it.

To be honest, Natsume doesn't have a personality that's anything new. She's young, determined to a fault, naive, and a complete sweetheart. She wants to fight the Gadoll and she'll do anything to achieve that dream. She's not a natural at fighting but her motivation to do so makes her believable and relatable. She's looked down upon because of her prosthetic arm and forced into a job that she doesn't like, but she never gives up on her goals. Even though she's so simple, her interactions and energy make her lovable and a wonderful protagonist.

Kaburagi follows the washed-out warrior trope, as he's an older man assigned to clean-up duty who keeps to himself and never shows too much emotion. While this type of character can sometimes get annoying, the show gives Kaburagi enough time to show his real feelings and explain how he got to his position. This proper development keeps him down-to-Earth and shows him as even more flawed than Natsume. Kaburagi's motivation, which I can't explain for spoiler reasons, is entirely believable and explains perfectly why he decides to put up with Natsume, even though she's his polar opposite.

The relationship between the two characters is balanced and beautiful. It's given the proper time to grow, mature, and ends up being extremely worthwhile. Natsume relies on Kaburagi, as he sees the potential in her and continues to support her in ways no one else ever has, and Kaburagi understands that Natsume is everything that he's trying to rebel against. Their relationship is emotional, runs deep, and leaves you wishing that there was more of them to watch, even after the show has ended.

The villain! The villain. I cannot talk all that much about the villain at the risk of spoiling. He is evil. I really really hated him, and that is a very good thing because it means that he's well-written. His motivation makes sense, his actions make you want to strangle him, his design was really really good! He's not the most interesting thing in the show, as his character is really only there to move the story along, but not every villain needs to be incredibly deep for a show to be good.

Lastly, our supporting characters! While none of them are as wonderful as Natsume or Kaburagi, they're still interesting and hold their own. They play important parts in the show and all of their interactions with the main two feel natural. Their conflicts make sense, their resolutions feel well-earned, and their personalities are all unique! For a 12-episode anime, there's a larger cast of supporting characters than you would think, and nearly all of them are memorable and loveable.

Time to shut up about characters, what about the art?: 9/10, ooooh yes the art! Deca-Dence is gorgeous! It's animated by studio Nut (bwahahhaha), who haven't done that much else in the anime world. Still, for a relatively new studio, it's absolutely amazing! The characters all have unique looks that make them stand out and the fight scenes are to die for. They lose a point on the CG, since it's a little bit less than amazing, but again, for a new studio, it's definitely not the worst I've seen!! (Admittedly, I also don't like CG much at all, so I'm always harsh towards it when it's used).

Deca-Dence switches between two styles that vastly contradict each other, one which is a colorful, happy-go-lucky style, and one that's the more typical anime style. I'll speak more about them in the spoilers section, but they do a wonderful job at maintaining the tone of the show, as to not let it get too dark, and forming a clear divide between the events of the two parts.

Oh goshhh the Gadolls look so cool. I'm so obsessed with cool monsters in anime and woah they look awesome!! They're original, with cool designs that I haven't seen elsewhere. The show could've so easily slapped in some pretty typical-looking dragons or wolves or whatever, but they instead spent time on these epic creatures, and it's so worth it! It makes the setting that much more unique and allows it to stand out from other animes.

Surely there's a flaw in this anime? The pacing, maybe?: 9/10. Yeah, I would argue that the pacing is Deca-Dence's weakest point. Not that the pacing is particularly bad compared to other shows! I still think that, for a 12-episode anime, it does a wonderful job of fitting in a large amount of plot into only about 5 hours! But, at some points, parts felt rushed or confusing, as the show would zoom into them. I never felt like I was truly lost, though. Even if I did wish that there was a break from the action, I never found myself really thinking that the show was leaving me behind in the dust. It's not the kind of show that you can turn on and leave running while you multitask, though. Blink for too long and you might miss something important, which can ruin some of the hard-hitting twists that the anime works so hard to build up.

OK! Time for spoilers! I beg you, go watch the anime before you read past this, because it's totally worth it!!

Woahh episode 2 am I right?? I thought that I clicked into the wrong anime when I began it, it took such a wild turn, and so soon in the anime too. This is what I really mean when I talk about a show not being what it appears to be! Again, I really encourage you to watch it for yourself, but if you're that stubborn on reading this through before you turn it on:

Deca-Dence is not about the heart-wrenching battles between Gears and their desperate attempts to keep humanity alive, because Gears are just avatars for cyborgs! You see, there's a civilization of cyborg people who are living above the Earth, who log in to fight in mobile fortress Deca-Dence as a game. So the Gadolls are genetically grown as prey for the Gears and the entire story surrounding Deca-Dence's battles are scripted. Crazy right!? The best part: the Tankers aren't in on this at all. You heard me: Natsume and her human friends have no idea that Deca-Dence is staged.

From here, Deca-Dence has two distinct parts: we'll call them "Natsume's half" and "Kaburagi's half". Natsume's half refers to the mobile fortress, the Tankers who live unaware of the cyborgs, and the art style that premiered in the first episode. Kaburagi's half is the Solid Quake organization, the Gears who are avatars of the cyborgs, and the goofy, stylized art style with big lines and bright colors.

The twist and the diverging sides of the story set this show up as not your typical sci-fi anime, but as something a little deeper. The stakes are the same, as humanity is in just as much peril as it was before - it becomes abundantly clear that the Gears and cyborgs don't care about them - but the name of the game completely changes as you realize that our so-called "heroes" aren't really all that heroic, and there's a lot more going on.

Kaburagi is, of course, one of these cyborgs, cursed to live among the Tankers because of a mistake he made while playing as a Gear. Now, he's in charge of eliminating "bugs", or mistakes that the system finds. He's upset with his life, frustrated at what he's doing, and contemplating suicide. But when Natsume walks into his life, a little girl that the system considers legally dead, Kaburagi sees a chance to rebel, even the slightest, against the system. He's supposed to kill Natsume, but instead, he takes her under his wing, determined to protect what he's been instructed to eliminate. This development gives their relationship a deeper meaning, even if Natsume doesn't know it.

Deca-Dence does a wonderful job at showing the watchers both sides of the story but keeping Natsume's side in the dark. Even though we see scenes from Kaburagi's side, Natsume knows nothing about them. When Kaburagi leaves after Hugin kills his avatar, Nastume doesn't know where he's gone and has no reason to believe that he hasn't run away. There's no way she could guess that Kaburagi's new form - his weird orange Gear avatar - is the mentor that she once knew. And when Kaburagi, back in his original form, is killed in front of her, she really believes that he is dead. When Natsume finds out about the truth of the Gadolls - that the world she knows is fake - her horror is palpable and realistic, because there's no way she could've known any better.

Kaburagi's world has a goofy style to it, with the cyborgs looking cartoonish rather than realistic. While it might initially seem off-putting, I think that it ends up balancing the tone of the story much better. Consider the hellscape that is the reform facility that Kaburagi visits. Imagine how dark it would've been if it was not in a silly style! By keeping the style cuter rather than realistic, the show doesn't dip too far into dark and gritty, and I really liked it!

It also set up this harsh divide between Kabruagi's half, where things are easygoing, done for pleasure and fun, and not nearly as harsh as Natsume's world (Look at the name of the series! Decadence literally means living in excessive luxury!). Even when the cyborgs are in their Gear forms, which are drawn in Natsume's style, they're still a lot more colorful and vivid, showing that their lives aren't as harsh as that of the Tankers. The art styles reflect the differences between the two halves and give them both distinct tones and personalities!

& finally, let's take an in-depth look at one scene!: I had a really hard time picking what I thought summed up the series in a single scene. In the end, I think that Natsume and Kaburagi's discussion at the end of episode 7 was the best. Here, we see a culmination of a lot of the character development going on. Kaburagi, in this scene, is in a Gears avatar that Natsume doesn't recognize, meeting her for the first time since his normal avatar was killed. Natsume's been working with the Tankers to protect them from Gadolls that infiltrated the fortress, and she's motivated them all to rise up and fix the hole in the fortress themselves.

Kaburagi has encouraged Natsume to be a stronger person, even though she had to be independent and not rely on him any longer. His pessimistic view on the world - that they'll never defeat the Gadolls - has rubbed off on her, but it's only made her more determined to be stronger to stand up to them. In this scene, we see her breaking down as she considers that Kaburagi might be right, and that she'll never kill them all, but that she needs to continue fighting.

Though Kaburagi previously doubted Natsume and her endless determination, he now feels filled with the same motivation. Natsume has convinced him, time and time again, that he can't give up, and so he decides that he's willing to do anything to make sure that she never loses that hope. He wants her dreams to come true, and he knows that she can't accomplish them alone.

This perfectly shows the effects that they have on one another. Natsume is now stronger than she's ever been: independent, able to take down Gadolls on her own, and determined enough to patch up the hole that no one else thought could be fixed. Kaburagi, in stark contrast to his suicidal thoughts from episode two, is now completely devoted to make the world a safe place for Natsume. Their relationship has shaped one another into being the best versions of themselves, and this isn't even the end! They still complete their growth in the last few episodes, but I've rambled about them enough.

We're done!: That's my review of Deca-Dence! I really believe that it's one of the masterpiece animes in recent years, and I wish it got more attention. I'm sure that there's plenty of anime out there like this one - forgotten diamonds in the rough - that I'd love to dig up and fawn over. Tell me if you know any! Or, if you disagree with my review, tell me where you think I'm wrong!

[goofygomez]

An analysis of The Last of Us Part II and its themes

I’ve seen a lot of people share their experience with playing The Last of Us Part II, and it’s safe to say most of it has been largely negative. It’s no secret this might be one of the most divisive games of all time, and it will probably stay that way for a long time after. I personally adored this game. I believe this is the masterpiece of masterpieces, and it’s the only game to ever top the emotions I felt when playing the first game, although I will say in terms of raw story (with nothing else like gameplay to support it) the first game is still a bit higher on the list for me.

But for all intents and purposes, when considering all aspects of this game, I think this is the single greatest accomplishment in game design and storytelling I’ve ever seen in a video game. That being said, I would like to try and respond to some of the criticisms this game has gotten, and furthermore, I’d like to try and analyze some of the themes I noticed when playing the game. Keep in mind this is MY opinion, and should not be taken as fact. This is just my experience, and I’ll respect yours one way or the other.

Take this as a MAJOR WARNING that there will be spoilers for both games in this post.

With that, let’s start with the common criticisms:

1.       “They killed Joel for no damn reason. He deserved better.” This is an easy one to tackle. For one, Joel most definitely did not deserve better. Even though we might love him for being the first game’s MC and have grown attached to him, there’s no way we can or should look past the fact that he, Joel, is a bad man. He even says himself in the first game that he and Tommy did some questionable things to survive in the 20 years between the outbreak and even during the events of TLOU. While he may be perceived as the hero of the franchise, when you look at his rap sheet, you start to notice he’s not so great after all. Take the ending of TLOU as the most glaring example, where Joel has been told Ellie must die in order for the Fireflies to develop a vaccine. His first and only reaction is to kill every single Firefly he sees and murder the surgeon who would have killed his “baby girl”. Would I have done any different in his shoes? Probably not, but that’s the beauty of the first game. Its ending and the ambiguity of Joel’s morality given his actions is one of the driving forces that make the first game so spectacular and why it’s still being discussed 7 years later. Now let’s talk about the second point to this criticism: “He died for no reason”. If you recall, the people who killed him were former Fireflies, one of which (Abby) was the daughter of the surgeon whom Joel unceremoniously killed. In their eyes, they had every right to go after Joel. Like Anthony Caliber, one of the best TLOU speedrunners, said in one of his recent livestreams, “Joel signed his own death sentence when he killed Marlene and the surgeon back at the hospital in TLOU1”. While it may seem overly zealous to us as players who have grown to love Joel, if the roles had been reversed would you not do the same? Would you not want revenge for the killing of your father? And isn’t that exactly what Ellie is doing in this game, which most players justify in this hatred of Abby?

2.       “Joel was out of character in giving out his name and trusting strangers. They dumbed him down for the sake of plot.” As I recall, Joel literally gave Henry and Sam his name and followed them out to their hideout barely 30 seconds after meeting them and beating the shit out of Henry. Joel may be an untrusting person at heart but he always does so with reason. The most common reason people give of this is “He didn’t trust the guy asking for help in Pittsburg and ran him over so why trust Abby and her gang”. First of all, that was literally the one situation Joel had already been on the other side of, and knew perfectly well it was rehearsed. On the flipside, he and Tommy had just saved Abby and literally mention there’s no other way to go other than with her because there’s a huge blizzard and a herd was after them. And especially now, after Joel has been living in Jackson for 4 years now and has been living comfortably in a community very obviously open to new people. Abby’s group gave them no reason to distrust them, and giving out his name, in any other situation, would have made no difference in the outcome. It was just unfortunate they happened to be after him.

3.       “I hate playing as Abby, why are they trying to make me sympathize with her?” That’s the whole point, they’re not. The entire game, you keep rooting for Ellie to find and kill this woman who wronged you, and when you’re forced to play as her, you’re understandably angry. You’re upset, and you feel you have to slog through this seemingly endless section of the game. But as you keep playing, much like I did, you start seeing the other side of the story. Abby is not the villain the game paints her out to be when she killed Joel. She’s another human being with human emotions and a very real reason to hate Joel and to want him dead. As I said before, Abby is doing exactly what Ellie eventually does after Abby kills Joel.

4.       “Why would Ellie go through all that effort to not kill Abby in the end?” I will touch on this in the analysis of the themes, but simply put, it was about breaking cycles.

Now I’d like to start defending how and why I believe this is a masterpiece by first taking a look at one of the admittedly less touched upon parts: gameplay. This aspect usually takes a step back when it comes to narrative-based games, and it is obviously not the most resounding part of this game, but it is clearly not taking a back seat either. The flow of both combat and mellower scenarios in this particular game is astounding. When battling opponents, the AI feels like one of the most intelligent I’ve ever seen in a video game. The way the enemies communicate between each other, telling the others when the player is out of ammo or when they’re flanking to create much more nuanced fight sequences, coupled with the expanded worlds Naughty Dog has come up with to create a seamless experience when fighting hordes of enemies without it feeling stale or repetitive, is one of the most immersive gaming experiences I’ve ever had. Each encounter feels unique and challenging in some ways you may not have felt before in the game, and by the end you’re so immersed in that feeling that going through the Santa Barbara group (to me, at least) was almost automatic and I could see so many different options for me to approach each situation as it came my way.

Likewise, Naughty Dog have managed to turn the puzzle solving from the first game, where you simply had to find a dumpster to step on or a door to open with a shiv, and incorporate the environment and world into it, finding clever ways to get over obstacles without simply having a step-up ladder be the end of it. The mechanics that went into the rope puzzles, breaking windows to get to previously unexplored territory (which is admittedly not new in gaming, but still a cool concept to add to the franchise) paired together with so many more new little features to bring the world they created to life, and bring you into it as well.

As always, and as was the case with the first one, you can’t talk about The Last of Us without talking about the soundtrack. The haunting score created by the masterful mind of Gustavo Santaolalla, a fellow Argentinean like me, brought to life some of the most heart-wrenching moments and the most beautiful ones as well, in a way that can only be achieved with amazing sound design and music. The main theme song, which is a sort of homage to the one from the first, takes a much darker approach, choosing instead to focus on the bass and that resounding low voice in the background, setting the tone for the rest of the game: a much darker, grittier, and grounded experience that will pull no punches. Santaolalla managed to create a score that mimics the first one in melody and rhythm, while succeeding in mirroring it to create a more dissonant accompaniment to the gruesome story you’re brutally killing your way through.

Another aspect of the game that deserves all the praise it gets, and one that people seem to at least be in consensus about, is the graphics and animation design. I can safely say this is hands down the most beautiful, gorgeous, astounding, breathtaking game I’ve ever laid my eyes upon, and that might not be enough adjectives to fully encapsulate how I feel about the graphics in this game. One can argue all day about the morality of the characters in the game or the balance between right and wrong that Naughty Dog so masterfully plays with in the story, but one thing is for sure: The graphics design team deserves so much credit for actually bringing the story and the characters we know and love to such vivid life. You can see it in the little things, like the veins in Joel’s arm as he plays “Future Days” by Pearl Jam and the facial expressions Ellie can make if you stand in front of a mirror during the museum flashback; you can also see it in the larger things, like the jaw-dropping backdrops that range from a beautiful mountain range in the snow to the downtown Seattle skyline. No moment will be wasted by stopping your pace to just admire the absolutely gorgeous view you’re presented with every time you enter a new game world. The attention to detail in animation is also not lacking at all, with so many little actions being given special treatment as we see Ellie patch herself up and still having the actual bandage over her arm instead of disappearing like any other game, or the way Ellie’s fingers perfectly (and correctly) play chords without resorting to generic hand gestures. You can see the love and care the developers have for this game in every tiny crack in the game that simply takes your breath away and that sometimes you won’t even see from the vastness of the world around you.

And finally, the story. It is definitely a divisive story, and Neil Druckmann did warn us it would be. There were times, namely the moment they switched the POV to show me the first 3 days from Abby’s perspective, when I was genuinely wondering what the hell they were thinking. My faith in Naughty Dog never wavered, though. I kept playing because I thought, “There must be some reasoning for this.” And to my greatest relief, it finally clicked for me a few hours into Abby’s section. Namely, the moment where she meets Lev and Yara, two Seraphites that defected after the former shaved his head. At first, it seemed weird that they would be cast out for such a stupid reason, but then you start to get to know them, and you understand the real reason they had to leave their religious cult. As I said before and will say again, this is a game about perspective. Up until that point, I just wanted Abby dead, albeit with some guilt since learning that it was her father Joel killed in that operating room. But seeing Abby’s willingness to help total strangers, much like Joel did at the start of the game, was what sold me on this game’s concept. The purpose of this story is to make you feel the regret and the weight of the actions you impart on the world, as you can see the carnage Ellie left in her wake during your time as Abby, seeing Abby’s friends butchered by either Ellie or Tommy, realizing they’re no different than the villains we have such tunnel vision about. The ending is something I’ll get to in the themes, but I just have to say I love the way it’s such a parallel to the first game’s ending, up to the point of divisiveness in the people who actually played and finished the game (which at the time of writing this is less than 4% of players).

Now onto the themes. One of the things people always praise about the first game, and rightfully so, is its themes and how well it portrays them through certain characters to create a cohesive and coherent story that pulls at your heartstrings and makes you root for the “heroes” of the game. This time it’s not much different, with the minor exception that this time, there are no heroes. Just like Neil Druckmann said many times during the development of Part II, “While the first game was about love, this game is about hate”, which is one of the main themes.

1.       Hatred: I can safely say there have been very few times of my gaming life where I’ve been so viscerally angry (in a “good” way) while playing a video game as I have as I tore down through countless enemies that got in the way of me and my target. This game will let out the worst parts of you in ways you can’t even imagine, and will make you take a look at the way we glorify violence in video games without the usual preachy tone of “video games cause violence”. Like I said before, this is a game that mirrors the first one while paying homage to its themes. To take a page out of Abby’s book, it’s like a coin. There are always two sides to it. On the one hand, the first game’s main theme was love, and how loss and grief can be overcome with it with the proper care and time. The Last of Us Part II shows us the uglier side of human nature, which is anger, despair and a natural desire for revenge (another theme). Both games show us the natural progression of a grieving person, but both of them take wildly different approaches. Granted, we don’t know how brutal and vicious Joel was right after losing Sarah, but it’s safe to assume he was nothing short of a monster, which eventually didn’t really help in dealing with that loss until he found love and hope in a little girl whose safety was now his utmost responsibility. In Ellie’s case, she’s still in that first stage. Ellie as a character has always been reckless and foolhardy, and her actions in this game are a testament of how well Neil Druckmann and Halley Gross know their characters. The entire game, right up until the final moments where she’s about to finish Abby off, her actions are fueled by a rage and desire to exert justice onto those who’ve wronged her. In other words, she’s looking for revenge.

2.       Revenge: Both main characters have at least one thing in common, and it is their desire to avenge their father/father figure. I truly believe that Joel’s death was not only justified (from a storytelling perspective) but also crucial to the development of a sequel that both enhanced the world of The Last of Us while building onto it with new ideals and perspectives. The idea this time is definitely not one we haven’t seen before in so many other mediums: “Revenge is bad and is never worth it” Seems trivial to even suggest it when we all know the outcome, but The Last of Us Part II manages to not only build upon the idea that revenge is a double-edged sword, but it also manages to balance the perspectives within that cycle to attempt to explore the psyche of the characters we’ve put into the boxes of “hero” and “villain”. And subsequently, they manage to break that characterization by showing us both sides of the aforementioned coin to see, in no unclear terms, that the consequences of our actions when dealing with vengeance always circle back to expose the nastiest side of our nature. It stands to reason that we, as the player, would at first be on board with Ellie “finding and killing every last one of them”, and demonizing Abby for not only killing but torturing possibly one of the most beloved characters in gaming history. We want her dead. We want her to suffer for the crime she’s committed. Yet, in our quest for vengeance and justice, would we not be succumbing to the same cycle that brought Abby to killing Joel in the first place? Did she not think, from her perspective, that she was entirely justified in killing the man who had not only destroyed the one chance humanity had against the Cordyceps, but also murdered her father in cold blood? Are we not the same as Abby for wanting her dead after she kills one of our own? When does it end? And that’s the real question. This whole thing, the lust for revenge that can only be quenched with cold-blooded murder, is just another facet to our complex and grey morality as human beings. It’s natural for us to feel angry and upset at this, and I believe all the hatred people give this game that stems from it forcing you to play as Abby is the exact nature the game is trying to bring out of us and show to us in a mirror.

3.       Cycles: While this may not be such an obvious catch as the first two, it’s still very much ingrained in the inner workings of this game’s narrative and how both characters view the world according to their reality and perspective. The concept of revenge, as stated above, is a repetitive one. One that causes cycles and events to repeat themselves if left unchecked, and The Last of Us Part II plays with these masterfully. Starting the game with a heartbreaking moment and setting the dark tone for the rest of the game is what starts the first part of this cycle, which is Ellie wanting to avenge Joel’s death, much like Abby avenged her father’s death after 4 years of despair, planning, and training. Ellie’s desire to kill Abby is what leads her down the path we would characterize, were she some random character and not the main one of the franchise, as the villain’s route, going down a dark path that prompts her to mindlessly and mercilessly slaughtering countless people whose names you hear from their friends’ mouths when you kill them, to the point where you end up getting to Abby’s closest friends and companions and murdering them too, not unlike Abby murdered Joel. It is a sobering feeling to realize the character you most love and root for is, in the eyes of the other main character, as much of a villain (if not more) as we as players make Abby out to be. It is at the end of the game, which a lot of players had qualms about, where Ellie is beating Abby within an inch of her life that she realizes this is not worth it. Killing Abby will not bring Joel back, and will certainly not bring her any satisfaction, as showcased by how traumatized Ellie was after the killings of Abby’s other friends and the fact that she still kept seeing Joel’s lifeless body as she attempted to drown Abby on that coast. Then, as we are mercilessly choking the life out of her, which is yet another example of the visceral anger the game elicits from the player, we see a different memory of Joel. One of hopefulness, where Joel is playing the guitar and smiling. It is at that moment that Ellie realizes the only thing she can do now is to move on with her life and accept Joel’s death as something that happened. To add onto this realization, it’s probably good to mention that Ellie must have seen some of herself in Lev in that killing Abby would have left him (if not dead) in a state much like the one she, Ellie, was at the start of the game. Coming back to the theme of cycles, if Ellie killed Abby, what’s to stop Lev from coming after Ellie the same way she came after Abby, and so on and so forth. Both these things coupled help Ellie finally break the cycle and go back to the farm, where she’s greeted with the consequences of her actions in a more emotional and real way than the PTSD: Dina being gone and Ellie leaving her guitar behind, symbolizing her letting go of Joel’s memory and accepting her reality.

The game scares us; it scares me. It is a harrowing experience that will only get better with time and will, in my humble opinion, go down as one of the greatest games of all time for years to come. No matter the context, and no matter the medium, I wish it were easy to find such real, emotional, and powerful pieces of art as this one more often. But alas, we will have to wait and see. As someone whose name I can’t seem to remember said: “This will mark the gaming industry and divide it between ‘Before TLOU2 and After TLOU2”

[deltaengineering]

Fall Anime 2020 Part 3: Woh, yo

Dragon Quest - Dai no Daibouken

So why would you watch all these light novel failures if you could get the real deal instead? The Adventure of Dai is based on an ancient (late 80s) Weekly Shounen Jump title, and... yeah. That’s what it is. Now I’ll never watch this because a) it’s very obviously aimed at children, what with its Pokemon mechanics b) I never liked Akira Toriyama’s character designs, and c) it’s a fucking WSJ title about fucking Dragon Quest. With that out of the way though, there are a few things to praise about this: For starters, basing a Dragon Quest story around the monsters and having the stereotypical DQ party be the bad guys is cute. And the other, more notable one is that this show has outstanding production values, I’m seriously impressed. Some of the best animation I’ve seen on TV in a while, and only the CG monsters let it down - because they’re merely very good. I mean, the sakuga set was already watching Pokemon SuMo, so I guess they can jump right on this.

Threat level: Sakugablog

Hypnosis Mic - Division Rap Battle - Rhyme Anima

This is based on a rap-themed pretty boy rhythm game. That’s not a very exciting, to put it mildly, especially since the character designs are as awful as you’d expect. However, Hype Mic owns very hard and that’s because the setting is hilariously dumb: Somehow, evil women took over the world and replaced all gun’s with mic’s, so now you got street gangs that blow each other up by spittin’ supa hot fire. Also, this show has good production values and an even bigger amount of style (it’s the first part in this season’s Ikebukuro trilogy, which we’ll get back to later). So the mic battles are these flashy, ostentatious music videos that are honestly quite nice to look at. And the music isn’t even all that bad - you’re definitely not getting Kendrick Lamarr here, but as far as ultra-commercial pop-rap goes, it’s decent. Now, I have no idea if it can keep this insanity up, or that it won’t get annoying even if it does, but as far as the first two episodes go, it’s immensely entertaining. Personally, I’ll watch it for the privilege of being able to call someone a “trap character” without fear of repercussion.

Threat level: Slim, Shady

Iwa Kakeru! Sport Climbing Girls

The “trying to catch hype off the Olympic Games” train continues after Japan Sinks. Did you know that sport climbing is now an Olympic sport? Well, it would have been if the games hadn’t been delayed, sad trombone. You can still watch this anime about it though. Too bad it sucks, sad trombone. Iwa Kakeru is the most basic take on the “let’s advertise an activity” formula. School club full of stereotypes, new girl joins, is preternaturally good at it, etc. It’s neither realistic (this 3-strong school club somehow owns two competition-tier climbing walls) nor does it take advantage of its inherent silliness and truly wants to be a serious sports show with reams of exposition instead. Now, if it was as good looking as, to choose a completely random example, Hanebad, it could at least be entertaining drama schlock, but it looks like crap and the best it has to offer are numerous crotch shots, which may be intended to be sexy but for sure are not. And to go from bad to outright insulting, the sheer desperation of advertising sports climbing as “hey kids, it’s just like your phone puzzle games! really! we promise!” really needs no further comment.

Threat level: Participation trophy

Love Live! Nijigasaki Gakuen School Idol Doukoukai

Love Live is back, baby. Now this is something where I really can’t pretend to be an impartial observer, since I’ve been closely following this franchise forever and not much here is new to me. So let’s go through it quickly: Nijigaku isn’t really the “next generation”, it’s started as more of a placeholder that slowly got upgraded to spinoff. That means that the anime of it is somewhat different, though I can’t say how much an outsider could tell: The tone is slightly more lighthearted, it’s more about single characters than the group, and it has pretty much given up on the last vestiges of realism Love Live still had (the school is now literally just Big Sight and has an airport terminal-sized “school club wing” - not to mention that elaborate music videos can erupt at any moment now). I would argue that these are good things though: Love Live was always good because it wasn’t realistic and the group plot was always simplistic and lame (especially when they just did it again in Sunshine), so less of it can’t hurt. I wasn’t so sure about having solo focus plus a producer character now, but as far as we can see, it handles that exceptionally well (since the P-san is just another cute girl). Everyone is likeable at the minimum - and if people are on the fence at episode 1 of this, I’d recommend episode 2 because you get all of the Kasumin there, who’s amazing and indeed a valid successor to Nico. So yeah, I like this a lot. Which is a good thing, because I’d have watched it either way.

Threat level: WOH-OH

[flutteringphalanges]

                                              Mirabile Visue

Summary: Sister Agatha Van Helsing discovers she’s in over her head when a competitive game of chess ultimately results in her becoming pregnant with the child of her worst enemy, Count Dracula. Now tied by a bond deeper than blood, the two must learn to coexist and adapt in a world that could be potentially hostile towards their offspring. Parenthood has never looked so batty.

Characters: Dracula/Sister Agatha Van Helsing

Chapters: 7/?

Read on FFN and AO3

A/N: You guys are simply amazing! Thank you so much for your feedback! Sorry for the delay, I have a few new Dracula stories so I’m trying to balance out updates for all of them! Also, my current avatar/icon was designed by the marvelous mitsukatsu! It's an adult Sorina. Any artwork you’ve seen related to this story has been created by them! Also the photograph in the chapter is done by her also! Go check out their tumblr! You won’t regret it! Here is the next chapter, as promised! -Jen

                                            Chapter Seven

                                      Zoe Van Helsings's Residence

                                                    Present Time

"What kept you?"

Sorina was never one for the spotlight. Besides her relationship with Jack and their occasional outings, she held to her privacy. No social media-mostly because Zoe had insisted she avoid it, attention was something she never sought. So now, the three pairs of eyes who stared her down with immense concentration left her feeling more or less uncomfortable. Especially, since they belonged to none other than her own parents and aunt.

"Why are they here?" Sorina asked, her mouth still dry from the shock of it all.

"Why were you out?" Zoe countered, arms folded. "You know the rules. How many times do I have to drill it into your mind. The world is a dangerous place, Sorina. You can't just go prancing about without asking-"

"I shouldn't have to ask, I'm one hundred and twenty three years old," she spat back. "Were you tracking my phone?! And again, why are they here?! How did they even get…"

"She invited us in," Agatha interrupted. "Your father can be very...persuasive," she through a disapproving look towards her husband.

"I offered to go find you myself," Dracula shrugged, the corner of his lips curving into a smirk. "Had a feeling where you were, father's intuition, but decided to give Zoe the choice. I walk into a club full of human feeling rather parched, or she could allow us both inside to wait for your return. I think she made the right call, wouldn't you say, Doctor?"

"Just come inside, Sorina," Zoe exhaled, pinching the brim of her nose. "If we keep arguing, it'll be dawn before we stop."

"Don't have to ask me twice," the young woman grumbled, pushing past the other adults. "All I wanted was one night! One night to feel the least bit normal. And with Jack! I'm sick of being stuck at the Foundation, mulling over this sorry excuse of an existence!"

"This Jack character," Dracula ventured. "I'm rather keen on learning more about him."

"I'm going to my room now," his daughter growled, ignoring his statement. "All of this has made me tired. Just stay out of my way," her eyes flashed to her parents. "I don't care what you do, I don't care if you stay here, just give me space. That's the least you can do!"

"Sorina," Agatha began. "We…"

But the halfling had already climbed the steps, reaching the second level. The parents exchanged looks and Dracula offered his wife a small smile. But Agatha didn't return the gesture. Sighing, she ran her fingers through her hair. One minute her daughter was a happy, lively three year old, and now, what seemed like moments but had actually been years, she had developed a hatred for them. Who could blame her? She couldn't begin to imagine what it must've felt like to believe she'd been abandoned.

"She'll come around," her husband said, taking her hand. "Give her a chance."

"I'm starting to question that," she admitted, her attention shifting to Zoe. "I hate to impose on you, but could we burden you with staying the night-or, day rather? Our apartment is still being fitted to meet our needs. I understand if you don't-"

"Basement," Zoe mumbled. "I can't offer you much else. I'm doing this for Sorina. Not you. Even if she is upset," she gazed up towards the stairs. "If you met your true death, I think she's suffered enough hurt to last her lifetime."

"Thank you," the vampire smiled. "We won't stay longer than necessary."

"Oh I know," Zoe replied simply. "I'll just rescind your invitation if you do."

Dracula opened his mouth, clearly about to make a snarky reply when Agatha grabbed his wrist tightly. "Enough," she said firmly, eyes boring into his. "Be gracious and let's go. I'm feeling rather off. I think a nice rest would help."

The doctor watched closely as the two vampires made their way to the basement door. Grasping the handle, the count twisted it open. When Agatha wasn't paying attention, he threw Zoe a dirty look before disappearing into the darkness. When they were finally gone, the woman sighed, leaning tiredly against the wall. As she debated whether or not to go and confront Sorina, her cell phone began to buzz from within her pocket.

"Dr. Zoe Van Helsing, who's this I'm speaking to?"

"Dr. Van Helsing? I'm one of the researchers at the Harker Foundation? We ran some tests on the blood samples you collected? You're going to want to hear this…"

                                                        XXX

"I love you more than words can wield the matter, Dearer than eyesight, space and liberty. Do you know what that's from, Sorina?"

The little girl looked up curiously from where she sat in her father's lap. It was late and her mother had already gone to bed. Sorina, however, could not find the will to sleep. Instead, she curled up close to her father, relaxed by the warmth of the flames in the fireplace.

"No, Papa," she admitted.

"It's from William Shakespeare's play, King Lear. It means, my little one, that I, and your mother, love you more than anything else in this world," he murmured, stroking her head. "More than the moon and the stars. The sun. More than everything. You are our most valued treasure. Nothing will take away our love for you," he smiled. "Even if we aren't there."

"Aren't there?" Sorina asked, straightening up. "Where are you going, Papa?"

"Nowhere, Micul mea liliac," he assured her. "I just want you to know, that no matter what, no matter the distance, the time, the place, you are always in our hearts as we are in yours. You can remember that, yes?"

"Yes, Papa," she promised, smiling. "I love you."

"I love you too, my darling Sorina," he murmured, touching his forehead to hers. "Forever and always."

Forever and always.

Sorina woke with a start, sitting up abruptly in bed to find Agatha standing at one of her dressers. The woman looked just as surprised, something held in her grasp. Before her daughter could utter a word, the vampire spoke up.

"Sorry, I thought you were fast asleep," she gave a small smile. In her hands, Sorina could make out a picture frame. "Is this you? Well, of course it is, but when was it taken?"

Slowly, the girl rose from underneath her covers. Why she had not snapped and demanded the woman leave, she was unsure. Walking to her side, Sorina took the picture carefully from her mother and examined it. It was faded, black and white, but she remembered the outfit so well. A blue hat that complimented her curls, a matching mid length dress that fell just below her knees, and a pair of oxford shoes she'd been given as a Christmas present.

"1934," she said, brushing her fingers against the frame. "We were holding a dinner party-well, Uncle Abraham was. I was allowed to attend. One of those rare occasions. There was a photographer and everything. I felt free that night, normal. I was passed off as a distant relative, it was exciting really…" Sorina sighed, the nostalgia of it all bringing both comfort and sadness. "That was before the war really struck England. Before life became...much harder."

"I'm sorry I was there," Agatha replied, hesitantly reaching out to place a hand on Sorina's shoulder. She didn't flinch away. "I cannot begin to imagine what it must've been like."

"No," the girl whispered, tears beginning to cloud her vision. "No you can't. You don't know what it's like to watch those you love die time and time again. To witness such horrors, forced to hide like some prisoner. To believe that after all this time...after everything…"

The picture clattered back onto the dresser as the former nun wrapped her arms around her daughter. Sorina's cries turned into sobs as she buried her face into her mother's shoulder. Agatha held her tight, almost as tight as she did their last night together on the Demeter. Sorrow. Pain. It ran from the girl's body onto hers. So many years. So much agony built up.

"It's okay now," she murmured. "Everything is going to be alright."

"Mum," Sorina whimpered. "Mum, I missed you so much!"

The two held each other tightly, finally finding the comfort both had sought so hard for.

                                                      XXX

"Pregnant? There's absolutely no way that's possible!"

"The results don't lie, Dr. Van Helsing," the researcher responded on the phone. "Agatha is indeed pregnant. The only explanation we can gather is that she conceived prior to being turned. Then in that comatose state-vampire sleep, whatever terminology you wish to use, the fetus too became dormant, its growth only restarting when its mother was awakened. I've...well, we've never seen anything like it."

"Can you tell how far along she is?" Zoe breathed, glancing behind her at her closed bedroom door.

"A few weeks," he replied. "A month at most. Do you think they're aware?"

"If they were, I'm sure we would've known by now," the doctor said quietly. "So this...anomaly, is it dangerous? Is it like Sorina?"

"It's too early to tell," the researcher responded. "But we need to keep her monitored. Something this unpredictable can't be ignored. She needs to come back to the Foundation. By any means necessary. If she won't come willingly…"

"I know," Zoe interrupted, resting her head on her palm. "I'll handle this...let me see what I can do."

"Keep up posted," the man said before the phone clicked off.

The doctor stared down at the floor, her mind racing. So much had happened in so little time. And now this. A pregnant vampire. Sorina's mother. A sibling. Hadn't she been given enough on her plate. She inhaled deeply through her nose and closed her eyes. God forgive her.

                                                            XXX

Jack Seward sat at his desk, casually enjoying a bag of crisps as he clicked through online videos. Despite being wide awake for so long, he didn't feel nearly tired enough to call it a night. As he moved his hand to click to the next viral sensation, his phone buzzed.

"Hello, Jack."

The young man's brow furrowed. It was odd, a number he didn't recognize. Perhaps one of his friends got a new phone? He pushed the chips aside and paused the video, his fingers moving against the keys.

"Hi, who's this?"

He watched as the typing icon blinked. The moment the message appeared, his blood ran cold.

"Count Dracula. Or, you may better know me as Sorina's father. I think it's about time we became acquainted."

Until that moment, Jack thought it was just a saying when people claimed to wet their pants when they were scared. Good thing for modern society. It was about time he put that washer and dryer to good use.

[hollenka99]

The Hero

Summary: Jackie was made to be the hero. He's proud to fulfill that role. Then one fight goes wrong and it takes everything from him.

Warnings: Torture, gore, implied mouth gore, starvation, dehydration, aftermath of torture, aftermath of violence, dehumanisation, poisoning. If there’s anything else I’m overlooking or accidentally didn’t include, please tell me.

@egopocalypse you said you wanted to be tagged in this so here it is.

Jackie isn't sure how he ended up standing on an unfamiliar doorstep. He knows he was trying to find his way to a red room a few minutes ago. And wasn't he attacked by an intruder at one point? Wait, no, there was a woman getting her leg mauled by a dog too. He decides it's best to ask the occupants of this house if they could help him. Directions to the nearest danger that required his intervention would be great also. The one who answers the door is a man that suspiciously looks a lot like himself, albeit older.

"Hi, I'm Jackieboy Man. Need any help?"

His cheeriest smile and inviting hand don't change the man's reaction to him. Instead, the confusion only grows on the homeowner's features. Jackie is told he isn't what the guy had expected. That doesn't sting in the slightest. At least he'd been expected.

Upon being ushered inside, the man introduces himself as Jack. He offers him a can of Dr Pepper and a plate containing several custard cremes that 'honestly need to be finished already because they are going soft and he would've probably had them for breakfast tomorrow for the sake of it'. Jack takes the time to explain the situation. They were technically characters and there was a man called Sean who had given them life. Jackie was already vaguely aware of all this.

While Jack wasn't entirely sure it was true, he was beginning to believe the previously inexplicable changes the house had made earlier that day were in fact it adapting to Jackie's imminent arrival. That was cool. So was the entire room that belonged purely to him. There wasn't much yet, only the bed and wardrobe, but soon enough he would make it his own.

He hasn't been alive for 24 hours when he is introduced to Sean. The older identical duo discuss superheroes like Batman and Spider-Man with him. Despite what he'd expected his creator to be like, he doesn't mind the guy. Possibly because he hasn't had the chance to know them properly, the two men don't seem to be too different from each other. An off-hand comment to Jack regarding this causes him to laugh. Jackie can't say he appreciates the weird vibes it gives off.

The other two speak privately in another room about editing videos, not far enough that their voices can't travel through walls. They discuss giving the teen an education as well as somebody called Angus. He doesn't like the way they talk about this stranger. Just who was this Angus? He can only assume he is a villain Sean is designing to be Jackie's rival.

On the night Jackie is due to be introduced to what Jack claims to be 'the greatest pizza topping ever', he gets his answer. Angus was certainly no villain. The guy who stumbles with his arm around his friend's shoulders takes the young hero by surprise.

Everything about him radiates a man who had only woken minutes earlier. Once he gets to know Angus better, this doesn't seem as unusual. The Australian hunter sounds displeased while mumbling about someone called Jake disturbing him for the sake of pizza. It takes Jackie a shamefully long minute to realise there was no Jake, only Jack.

For the majority of the evening, Jack's attention is focused on his best friend. They chat and attempt to share inside jokes that mostly fall flat. While they do include him occasionally, Jackie is simply left to observe the strained relationship. He's been alive for less than a week but he can tell it should not be this uncomfortable to see two friends interacting. It isn't right for the so-called 'wildlife expert' to need Jack to complete his stories either.

When Angus returns to his bedroom, Jackie offers to help with the dishes. He convinces himself that's what a true hero would do, help around the house. He cautiously questions whether Jack is okay. The answer worries him somewhat.

"It's fine. He just happened to have a bad day. I'm sure you'll get to see him when he's not so forgetful."

There is something about the way Jack smiles after that answer that makes Jackie ill at ease. It's different from the way the young hero does. Jackie was all wide and beaming, the sort that made your cheeks ache if you maintained it for too long. The one Jack was providing him, on the other hand, had barely an ounce of life in it. Even in the past few days since they'd met, Jackie had witnessed the eye-crinkling grin he was sure had to be Jack's natural smile.

The boy chooses to forget about it. It was probably something that should be properly addressed at some point but, for now, it was best to leave it. Jack decides otherwise.

He explains how it has been two years since Angus began declining. He's tried everything he could think of to help. He's watched all 10 videos of the series countless times, sometimes playing them on multiple tabs to increase efficiency. Once he realised it didn't count unless he was in Sean's world, he transferred the method to a new location.

Jackie questions whether he will end up lethargic and forgetful as well. The adamance, almost anger at the mere idea, that no, of course he won't is shockingly swift. Jack insists he isn't saying this for the sake of scaremongering or choosing sides. This was about providing him with an informed opinion. He deserves to know, his friend reasons.

The following weeks pass with little incidence. He and Jack marathon all 12 Marvel DVDs they own. Having misunderstood his friend, Jackie trains all night which leads to him dozing off as Tony Stark celebrates his birthday in the sequel. He is also introduced to Batman. He's more interested in Marvel but Jack is trying to give him something to relate to. He humours him in appreciation. Plus, it leads to a competition to see who could make their voice go the lowest. He can't fault him on that.

During the day, he is either seen increasing his agility and reflexes or in front of a computer, determined to fight back against hackers. Jack tries to dissuade him from his morally questionable hobby. Jackie only argues it is part of his job. Part of him wishes the older ego would leave him be. If he could stop meeting him in the hallway a second after he walks in from evening patrol, that'd be nice too. He's not been hurt so there's no need to worry so much.

The Gregory Brothers, what he first mistakenly hears as 'Gregory's brother', write a song for the channel. It takes quotes from various videos, predominantly Happy Wheels with some Papers, Please thrown in. Quite clever when Jackie thinks about it. Annoyingly catchy too. The best part is watching Jack become nostalgic when he recalls recording the episode featured in the second verse. Jackie chooses to tease him about the Mother Ape Ass line. Jack takes in good humour. Nevertheless, Happy Wheels is a good series to sink his teeth into, especially seeing as it was currently three videos shy of hitting triple digits.

Jack the Magnificent's entrance into their lives introduces magic with it. He has the genius idea of referring to the new guy as Magnificent to avoid confusion. It is quickly made redundant when Jack names him Marvin. Whatever the new ego's name is, Jackie has to admit it's nice to have someone else around. As much as he likes Jack, having only three people to talk to was wearing on him. The majority of the time it was only one option anyway.

Never mind Marvin being a new person to talk to. Even more exciting was his magic. With one simple click, he could conjure a flame in his hands. They are mesmerising. Jackie forgets himself at one point, reaching to touch the fire before its abrupt extinction snaps him out of it. He begs to know how he does it. This leads to the magician letting him hang around in his room with half-hearted reluctance while he taught himself spells.

Jack has an argument with Sean. Jackie doesn't understand what it's about, other than it appears to be super petty. He doesn't understand why Jack won't distance himself from Sean. He's seems so fed up after an argument and Jackie can't do anything. Not once does Jack forget to check he's okay with being vented to. Jackie never says no. How could he? Jack's his friend and it's not like he's got anyone else who is vaguely aware of the situation. Except maybe Angus. Then again, it might be more cathartic for Jack to rant to someone he can see is listening. Jackie's sure Jack isn't close enough to Marvin to confide in him as well. So even when he's tired, even when he would rather switch his mind off for an hour, Jackie says yes. As the weeks progress, the young hero convinces himself taking a very long hour for himself couldn't hurt.

Marvin tests his card tricks on him too. No matter how much he tries, the magician can never get it exactly right. There is always something he gets wrong, whether it be the suit or number. Taking a leaf out of Jack's book, he encourages him to keep trying. Card tricks didn't have to be his strong point. He didn't have to give it up entirely either.

When Marvin's patience wears thin from the failed attempts, he sneakily introduces Jackie to a card game. When Jack catches them playing, he's too honest for his own good. The head of the household disapproves immediately, although he seems more annoyed with Marvin than Jackie. After some persuading, Jack relents and allows the practise to continue so long as new rules were implemented. Jackie could only act as dealer for the time being and watch to ensure they weren't cheating. Prize money was to be avoided, as was magic. Despite the sidelining, it's not a bad time. There is friendly banter accompanied by dramatic reactions to being bested. It's the first time the three of them have hung out together and it is clear they should do so more often. The only bad thing about it is that Jackie had nearly two years left before Jack would let him be any other role.

Not long afterwards, Jackie spots a sketchy individual sprinting away while hanging outside a shop, wishing for Marvin to hurry up. His friend will not be impressed with him but what does Marvin expect? Thwarting criminals is his job. Jackie is duty bound to pursue the thief. The chase grants him the adrenaline boost necessary to convince himself this will be an easy fight.

It is not an easy fight.

It's not that his game is off or that his opponent is larger than him but... he may have miscalculated. It will be fine, he's sure. It's just a couple stab wounds to the chest. A superhero like him should walk stuff like that off. And he will, as soon as he gets this blood under control. Maybe his suit could do with being washed too. Jack and Marvin would already be annoyed enough that he'd gotten himself hurt.

Marvin is initially unimpressed. He asks if the fight was worth getting injured. He complains of how he'd probably get stuck listening to Jackie's whining about the bruises. Then comes the realisation. In the fraction of a second, his demeanour changes as he rushes to help the hero to his feet. The journey home feels a lot longer than it should.

The next few days blur. He catches shreds of conversations. At first, it is Jack and Marvin whose chatter mixes into one incoherent mess. After that, he finds himself in a hospital bed with medical professionals recapping events he is sure are partially fabricated. Once he's able to focus better on what is being said, Jack tells him there is a chance Sean is working on bringing them a live-in doctor.

Previously, he had half listened to his friends when they warned him to be careful. His attitude towards the subject had been irresponsible. Who were they to stop him from fulfilling his role as the guy who saves the day? It takes his reflection having a black eye and slightly misshapen nose in a hospital bathroom for him to finally open his ears. This wasn't just a case of him collecting bruises and cuts anymore. He's unsure whether if it ever had been.

Within a week of returning home, Jackie happens across a path he hasn't seen before. Following it, he allows it to lead him to a house. He spots a boy playing with his two little sisters. The others needed to know about this. Who knew what this could mean. Jackie can only hope it's not anything serious.

He assaults Jack and Marvin's ears as soon as he races past the front door. The stranger sitting across from them is startled. He has glasses and his hello has a foreign sound to it. Beside him is a blood stained lab coat. Not the best first impression, if he's going to be honest. But he supposes neither is a loud teenager. Jack speaks up.

"Jackie, this is Dr Schneeplestein. He'll be helping to keep us all in one piece. He's just come out of a rough surgery. Maybe tone it down a little, alright?"

The doctor mostly spends time with his family or at work. Their interactions primarily consist of ensuring Jackie's injuries are kept in check. He is gentle enough when treating wounds and Jackie is yet to let him know how much he appreciates that. They have no other common ground. Dr Schneeplestein is practically twice his age and a married father of three. Jackie, on the other hand, is technically a minor and hasn't really paid much attention to anyone other than his housemates and Sean.

He has the craziest dream one night in the middle of October. It involves covering himself in cheeses, meats and peanut butter, blowing up Mars and punching camels. The song accompanying it gets stuck in his head for the entire day too. He wakes with an inexplicable need to lift something heavy or hop off the first floor. Instead of listening to his impulses, he lifts his slim dresser and jumps on his bed. To the young hero's astonishment, the dresser is much lighter than expected and he stays suspended in the air for at least a minute.

Jackie's first instinct when planning to demonstrate his findings to his friends is to arm wrestle. Jack takes him up on the challenge. The newly strong hero goes easy on him, which makes the big reveal all the better. He's glad he can impress the others like Marvin's magic impressed him.

His new powers give him and Marvin reason to fight again. The magician is still getting the hang of manipulating plants. When leaves try to wrap around Jackie's legs, he dodges them more efficiently with each session. Jack supervised their training, the doctor usually present or nearby.

In the last week of October, Jackie gets one of the dumbest idea he's had so far. He finds string and ties it around his ankle. Marvin is busy reading up on some spells. His near facepalm solidifies the fact that this is indeed stupid. The smirk as he reluctantly takes the string and rolls his eyes makes it worth it. It is worth it even more when Jack laughs and Dr Schneeplestein decides he wants nothing to do with them,

On Halloween, he and Marvin mess around with air manipulation. Nobody will notice if the household mop and broom are missing for an hour or two. While they joke about riding broomsticks through the night, Henrik is probably with his children and Jack is filming this year's pumpkin video. He's unassuming when his phone vibrates as a notification pops up. It doesn't last long.

Jackie becomes very worried when the panic button system he'd designed is activated for the first time. It's Jack. What could put him in danger? He was carving a pumpkin. There was obviously the risk of accidentally cutting yourself, it was a sharp knife after all, but it shouldn't be serious enough to declare it an emergency. Unless his hand slipped and hit his wrist.

It's not Jack's wrist that's been cut. He would have loved for it to have just been a bleeding wrist. Anything would have been better than what he finds.

The second he lays eyes on the body, he freezes. Oh God. That was Jack, blank eyes open and streams of blood staining the pumpkin and table. He wastes precious time just staring. Then he sprints. He sprints, yelling through tears the entire time. The doctor can't get to work fast enough.

Marvin talks at him as they wait for a miracle. He's probably trying to calm him down but it's useless. He's not really listening. Marvin's lucky he didn't have to see Jack. There was so much blood on the table and his eyes weren't closed and holy shit, someone murdered Jack while they were in a different part of the building. Someone just broke in and killed a member of their household without them knowing anything was wrong. He was supposed to be the hero and he'd let this happen through carelessness. All because he'd been messing around with his flight. He could have prevented this.

"Earth to Jackie, hey." Marvin's fingers snap. "Shut up. This is not your fault so stop saying it is." "But-" "No. And he's going to pull through, just watch."

Jackie debates whether to let him stay in denial or use common sense to convince him of the truth. He chooses to stay silent but makes sure Marvin knows what he thinks of his misplaced hope. Dr Schneeplestein had diverse skills but none were bringing people back from the dead.

Apparently, there is always a first time for everything. It doesn't even register when he hears the news. Jack, alive and just unconscious for a while? That made absolutely zero sense. He hovers around the infirmary until he is granted permission to visit. The bandages surrounding Jack's neck are unnerving because he knows what's underneath. But at least his chest is rhythmically rising and falling. He tells Angus what's happened too. The longest occupant of this house wastes no time in joining him.

Jack regains consciousness and is soon talking. Jackie doesn't have the heart to admit he was the one who found him. He can tell from their behaviour anyway. Jack explains his side of the story. It was Antisepticeye, the parasitic glitch Sean had chosen to unleash the previous night. No wonder nobody was aware anything bad was occurring. It's kind of hard to see someone break in if they aren't fully corporeal.

He's going to update security as soon as Jack is discharged. If he can work out how to include a glitch detector, that should keep them safer. While he's at it, he should buy the doctor something too. Reviving Jack must have taken a massive toll on him. He deserves a gift for his efforts and for keeping Jackie safe in his own way.

Sean finally has the decency to show up the day after Jack wakes up. Surprise, surprise, there's raised voices. He is sick of the fighting. There's always some underlying issue between Jack and Sean. Jack will be the one to start arguments but Sean's at fault for triggering the resentments. He is so tired of them squabbling. You can't go a month, sometimes even a week, without something putting them at odds. He knows there's probably no way to stop it.

It's descended into quieter, but by no means less harsh, words. Marvin can't really hear it. Jackie sure as hell can. As much as he tries to wait it out, he can't take it anymore. He has to get out of the house for a bit. Although, not before calling them out.

"Shut up! Both of you!" Jackie screams. "Sean, in case you haven't noticed, we're alive and we'd like to stay that way if possible. Don't make anything else at our expense like an asshole. And Jack, you know I have your back buddy, but you kinda provoke him half the time. It really doesn't help. So let's agree you're both as bad as each other and that Sean is at fault this time."

He leaves them with that. His mistake is going on patrol while disgruntled. Finding himself aimlessly marching around the streets of Athlone, his senses are go haywire. Because of course he can't catch a break tonight. Usually, he's hyper aware of every person near him. It is a good way of keeping him alert in the presence of danger. It's far easier to win fights if he can tell a perpetrator is about to attack him from behind.

At least, that was how it was meant to work in theory. It had acted in his favour in the past. Unfortunately, it had to fail him at some point. He blames the demon's insistence on disorienting him. It's not a difficult feat. Antisepticeye only has to glitch to a new position several times. Constantly being plagued by white noise and taste of metal in the air doesn't aid him either.

Jackie begins the fight at a disadvantage. He struggles to make up for it. Attacks fail to land. He thinks he breaks Anti's jaw but it glitches back into position so quickly that he can't tell. It's over when a jolting touch throws his body in a fit of pins and needles. He should have taken a moment to admire the sun earlier that day. He's not going to see it again for a while.

His new room is far removed from the one at home. With nothing but four walls and a door, it is devoid of light. The only source of it comes from a ceiling lamp. There's no furniture, not even a crude excuse for a bed. Time doesn't exist when he's here alone. It is measured in Anti's company and the absence of it.

Jackie's a fairly quick learner. When the lamp is lit, he is being paid a visit. Sometimes Anti won't bother with the light at all. There are still ways of detecting his presence. Food and drink will come whenever Anti feels like providing him with it. Once the demon takes advantage of his age, there are more rules. He is to be referred to as 'Sir' and Jackie is simply a boy. If he pretends to genuinely follow through with it, he can bide his time.

He spots an opportunity to escape when Anti leaves him be for a while. All it takes is a well placed blow to the door for his strength to free him from the room. His legs are in serious need of regaining their previous skill. He makes a dash for it, nothing to lose. It's only a matter of working out where the exit is. Regardless of left or right, static is everywhere he turns. It grows louder to a disorientating degree. It deafens. His hood is the thing to doom him. One grab and he's being hauled back to square one.

"You call that an escape? Pathetic."

The violent crack of his left leg leaves it undoubtedly fractured. The damage is duplicated on his right for good measure. He's questioned on which bone has been targeted, formal name necessary. Oh, how is he supposed to know? Radius? That was a major limb bone. Anti promises that's the next one to go if he remains this ignorant.

His lack of medical expertise is what truly ruins his legs in the end. Being forced to set the bones himself is bad enough. Not having any doctor present makes it worse. Having been allowed a chance to inspect the injury, he finds it's worse than his shin. It's his knees that are beginning to swell.

To his arm's fortune, Anti generously dedicates himself to providing Jackie with an education. His lessons begin with Biology but that is swiftly rectified to involve more Science and History. Soon, it will be any subject Anti finds relevant.

As often as he can, Jackie talks back, mocking Anti's efforts to hurt him. He can take away everything he's known, isolate him in darkness and make him silently dream of freedom. Jackie can handle that. All he has to do is survive until his friends come or he feels capable of making another escape attempt. Jack, Marvin and Schneeplestein must be searching for him, right? They probably have little to go on but he knows they care enough to try whatever method available. So he fights back however he can.

Then he takes it too far. Then he uncovers Anti's bad side. The demon is naturally cruel but he's patient. You do not want to see him furious. Jackie regrets learning that the hard way. The first few apologizes that leave his lips as his head is pinned to the floor aren't entirely sincere. He's not sorry for what he said. He's just sorry he triggered action. His sincerity increases when the needle's first piercing of his lips is felt. It is only a matter of minutes before he stops speaking altogether. For good measure, he temporarily loses the privilege of free movement around the room.

Anti visits an eternity later, acting resentful that Jackie needs water to stay alive. His blinks are dazed when a knife frees him. His captor comments on how pathetic he looks as he gulps the contents of the bottle provided. He probably does but who cares. He's been dying for a drink for who knows how long. Presumably literally, when his mind focuses enough to reflect on it.

This may be the first time but it won't be the last. He certainly makes an effort to reduce the frequency from then on.

December is ushered in with chocolate. Jackie doesn't care about the tradition of advent calendars. They're for children, which he isn't, and he doesn't appreciate the way Anti explains them like they haven't been lurking in shops since before Halloween either. If he can predict the demon's way of thinking like he hopes he can, he believes he knows where this is going.

He's correct in his predictions. It is a month of stomach cramps, helplessly being revisited by the little he ate and fevers. He refuses as many meals as he can get away with. Other times, he gives in and eats for the sake of having something in his stomach. Maybe his mind is working overtime to be suspicious of everything but he swears Anti increases the dosage for days Jackie's stomach speaks for him.

Anti introduces him to a seasonally appropriate song. It's gentle enough to lull an exhausted person to sleep if they let their guard down. He doesn't fall for the trap. He should have, it probably would have been the only time the song would have positive connotations. All is not calm when it plays. Out of spite, he remains silent as the night.

Anti hands him a present on what he claims is Christmas Day. It's a cake filled with berries and decorated with seeds wrapped in leaves. No matter how much he wants to tell the demon where he could put the 'gift', he can't escape the truth. Jackie hasn't eaten in days, which is exactly what the manipulative bastard must have planned. Survival is survival, even if the negative consequences outweigh the positive. Food that will upset his stomach is better than no food.

He doesn't realise how counterproductive that is until the symptoms hit him. His heart needs to chill out already and it would be great if he had better control of his muscles too. He swears he'll catch his breath any minute now. Just as soon as his chest stops hurting. Something at the back of his mind is uncomfortable with the plan to sleep it off but he wants a break. This has been a particularly rough round. He deserves to allow himself a rest, right?

When he wakes, his muscles feel stiffer. His body feels more drained that he's used to in general. He learns about yew trees, of how pretty much everything but the flesh of its berries is toxic. How, if left untreated, it tended to prove fatal within hours. Things fall into place. He wonders how long Anti just left him there. He promises himself he'll toss the next meal he's given to the other side of the room. Maybe shove a few yew seeds into the demon's mouth and see how he likes it.

His friends are coming soon. It's been nearly two months but they must still be trying to work things out. If they took a break from searching for the holidays, he doesn't mind. He hopes the four of them enjoyed themselves. With any luck, he'll be witnessing what a proper Christmas is supposed to look like next year. He pictures it. It's better than dwelling on the truth of last few days. That would just drive him crazy. One thing's for sure, they are never learning of what his first experience of the holiday was like.

The second Anti realises he can exploit Jackie's naturally heightened senses, the hero is sent to another room. He despises the way his ears uselessly strain to hear anything. It's darker than what he's gotten used to as well. Left long enough, his head begins working against him. It's not real, what he sees, of course it isn't. He is once forgotten about for so long that he swears Marvin bursts the door open so Jack can tell him it's going to be okay as Dr Schneeplestein checks him over. He's so tempted to leave with them but it can't be reality. Anti wouldn't let them get that far.

It is unbearably satisfying to win a victory against his captor when he stumbles upon a loophole. He sings the song he and Jack had made inside jokes out of. It annoys Anti enough for him to deliver consequences. He may be robbed of his ability to see and to have anything to listen to but it's impossible to steal his sense of touch. There was always the option of destroying all neural connections but what use would the boy be then? None. He can feel the strings attached to his mouth and he can still feel pain. It's not a good victory in regular terms but any victory against Anti is a good one is Jackie's eyes.

He learns Spring is approaching when Anti mentions Easter. That was always in Spring, right? Christmas was always in December and that had passed. It must be after New Year's Day now, in the very least. The demon began speaking of how religious the Irish were and briefly explains Lent.

Jackie doesn't like the sound of fasting.

The Wednesday associated with ashes deprives him of any necessity. Then, to his absolute shock, the demon hands him a glass of water. It's a regular sized glass too. He is far from trusting of it at first. Given everything that's happened to him, he has every right to be wary. He only drinks it to get this bout of poisoning over. Perhaps he can power through it long enough this time to deny Anti the satisfaction of watching him suffer. However, hours pass and nothing happens. Nothing continues to happen as he accepts the single daily glass of fresh water offered to him throughout the week.

There is a catch, of course. The privilege of routinely quenching his thirst comes at the price of food. He is fasting after all, Anti reasons. Fasting was about endurance. Jackie couldn't be a hero if he was unable to endure, especially in challenging situations.

If he's going to be honest, the starvation wouldn't be too much of a problem. He's gone days without food before. Once the actual sensation of hunger disappears, it's manageable. He could do this. Water must keep people going in famines. Who's to say it wouldn't sustain him too?

Two more conditions are established. Being charitable, better known as giving alms, would manifest itself in utter obedience. After all, it was about time Jackie learned defiance was completely pointless. Additionally, while Anti didn't expect him to pray, he did assure him certain outbursts were even more encouraged than usual. Should Jackie wish to beg, call for the others to save him or confess his transgressions against his captor, Anti was welcome to hear it all.

Even if there was a way to observe the passage of time here, he would have rapidly lost count of the days. He can however measure the decline into chronic fatigue. His lessons carried on as normal, including Physical Education. One missed punch soon turns into several failed attempts until it was general lack of co-ordination. Every hit Anti lands becomes more successful in sending him to the ground. No matter how many times it happens, no matter how much effort it takes to do so, Jackie returns to his feet.

There comes a day when he experiences sudden dizziness, despite laying on the ground. Anti's nearby, his senses are sure of it. For that moment, he continued to rest on his back. If he was being allowed the luxury, he wasn't going to squander it. Even if that meant he risked further repercussions. Besides, his chest didn't feel right. Without warning, he blacks out.

Jackie wakes to Anti closer, practically seated next to him. The unbearable weariness of resurrection informs him of the unfortunate nature of his spontaneous 'nap'. The boy shifts the slightest amount. His captor immediately looms over him.

"32 days." The glitching demon looks thoughtful for all of half a second. His cruel grin takes pride in his next words. "Pathetic. Most can make it to 50 days. There are some who can reach over 70. But here you are, pretending to be a hero, unable to survive even 5 weeks. A real hero would last long enough to break the record of 116 days. You barely achieved a quarter of that. What kind of hero are you?"

The following two weeks proceed the same as the previous five. Living in anticipation of water, fainting unexpectedly and being revived. He doesn't understand what makes the Friday so good when it steals his hydration benefits. Two glasses of water later, Anti is proud of him.

Upon being congratulated, Jackie comes to the realisation it was over. Had he done it? He had! Oh, thank God. He was doubtful of how much longer he could endure the cycle. The praise disorientates him.

Even more confusing is the glitch presenting him with his prize. A small creature is placed on his lap. The fur is nice to touch, steady breaths are felt when he holds a hand in front of what he can only assume is its face and the ears are longer than he was anticipating. A rabbit, it was a rabbit. Sure, he was vaguely aware the animal was associated with the holiday but... he hadn't been prepared for a rabbit.

Against the boy's better judgement, he succumbs to the temptation of making the most of his reward. He had to admit, Anti didn't have to supply the water or gift him the animal. Part of him reasons it would be rude to ignore his captor's attempts to be civil. He cherishes the soft fur, desperately staying awake for as long as he can with it. He's not stupid enough to believe this is permanent. He fights the pulls of drowsiness, rabbit clutched to his chest. Ultimately, despite his best efforts, he is too weak to oppose his body. He wakes to his comfort gone.

Anti returns it by unceremoniously tossing it before him, sticky and unnaturally stiff. It's eventually removed when he refuses to interact with the corpse. The boy is not surprised when he is given food with an unspecified meat. He's not stupid. Of course it's what he thinks it is. Why should he eat anything with meat? In fact, why should he eat anything Anti provides him in future? All this fasting had taught him was he could live without food. Of course, he'd be constantly tired and unable to really put up much of a fight. The point was he could die and wake up, over and over, until Anti got bored. The demon takes notice.

"You're so smart, aren't you? A clever little boy." Anti stops stroking his hair to grasp it. His smile fades as abruptly. "But no-one likes a know-it-all."

He gets his comeuppance. He supposes he deserves it for trying to outsmart Anti.

The boy doesn't understand what he's watching when shown footage of the house. It's Jack and Marvin with an ego he doesn't recognise. They're all just... sitting there, watching something on TV and being friendly with each other. Which is fine. He's not expecting them to spend every second of the day looking for him. Come on, he's not selfish. For all he knows, they're just taking their mind off what they hope isn't happening to their friend. It's probably fake anyway. That's what Anti does, he gets a kick out of screwing with his head.

The new guy's name is Chase Brody. Good for him. What does he care? It isn't like Sean had to deliberately choose to make Chase. While the boy has been here. For at least five months. Possibly six. Possibly so much longer.

He calls Anti a glitchy bastard to his face. Screw him for trying to convince him he's been forgotten about. It throws him for a loop when nothing happens. Perhaps the satisfaction of his student's reaction is enough of a reward. Well, congratulations, he got what he wanted. But the others are coming. They'll work out how to find him eventually. They have to. The boy can't exactly make a run for it himself, thanks to his knees. That was the whole goddamn point of ruining them. Maybe they're close to cracking it. Maybe Chase has some expertise that can help them. Chase, who is definitely not his replacement. Why on earth would he think that?

His birthday comes, bursting with celebratory activities. Seventeen to be exact. Anything he's dealt with since arriving is eligible to be repeated. He is presented with an exam to acknowledge the academic year drawing to a close. If he got a question wrong, there was an appropriate penalty. The cake is no prize for completing the test and neither is a trip to his 'favourite' room. He'd like to insist Anti really didn't have to reverse the treatment so the boy was bombarded.

Amongst other things, he is bestowed the privilege of a hot shower. He doesn't dare admit he prefers shivering until he feels queasy. Why should he complain? Anti was acting nice for his birthday. So what if his shoulders and arms turned pink? He probably deserved it for being ungrateful enough to desire heat those previous times.

There comes a period where Anti is gone for far longer than usual. He wants to believe it's been days but time is a strange concept by now. So much so that he could either be told it had only been an hour or it was nearly December again and he'd believe both statements. Regardless of how long Anti had been gone, the boy was alone.

As usual, being left in silence is hell on his senses. He would kill for an incessantly ticking clock, just to have some relief. The only thing he can pick up is someone else's voice. It's deeper than his so it couldn't be Anti's. Much to his ears' annoyance, he strains them further to solve the mystery of who the voice belonged to. His mouth goes dry when he catches a German accent.

Now he knew Dr Schneeplestein was here, he couldn't let him stay as long as he had. With only himself to save, he'd become a little complacent. However, Anti had to rest at some point. He decides to take advantage of that time. He gets as far as reaching for the sleeping doctor's shoulders before the sound of static causes him to flinch.

"I thought you were a clever boy. But it looks I can't trust you to behave."

Anti drags him back to the room he hates the most. His captor's sigh is the worst sound he could hear in this context. If the boy couldn't do as he was told, there was no choice but to take better precautions to ensure this was an isolated event. Whatever he's expecting, it's not slit ankles. When Anti leaves, he tests his legs. Neither foot can push off the ground to perform even the simplest step. None of his bones are broken. That said, he could sense a certain disconnect in the joint.

The boy is promised he can be redeemed if he participates in some birthday celebrations. The next ego to appear after him was... Marvin. Shit, what was Anti doing with Marvin? Were he and the doctor not enough? He asks if the other person will be harmed. At confirmation they won't, he accepts the offer. It turns out to be a standard Biology lesson. Anti apologizes for not preparing properly. While it was customary to use say, a frog, one wasn't available. Time was too short to rectify the oversight. He had been planning to use a cadaver so they would have to do without other now-necessary equipment. The shrug is casual but the scalpel begs to differ.

Anti takes his time. It takes everything not to give him a response. Focus on believing in Steve and maybe it will stop soon. Breathe slower and maybe it will become slow enough so he won't have to for a while. Ignore everything Anti shows him and maybe he'll give up. He's never been so thankful for the off switch being flicked. Once conscious again, he is positioned in a way that suggests he was thrown and abandoned. His torso aches from incisions. His insides feel wrong and misaligned somehow.

It's the final straw. The boy can't let Anti keep abusing him like this. Somehow he's got to escape without the demon being alerted. The best time to evade detection is when he's occupied with someone else. Which means he has to sacrifice either Marvin or Schneeplestein. He'll be back for them, he swears.

It happens to be the doctor he has to use as the distraction. As soon as he lasers a hole in the door, he searches for Marvin while he has the opportunity. The magician cannot be found. Regrettably, he has to postpone Marvin's salvation too. He's so sorry. He's not a hero, however much he liked to play the part before all this. The consequences of waiting any longer aren't worth it. Anti would probably resort to amputation or something similar if he didn't leave right now.

The first breath of fresh air he takes in months mocks him. So does the realisation that the sun isn't a theoretical concept. He's never seen a sunrise so insultingly gorgeous. Never mind all the things the boy took for granted. He has to get home. He has to save Marvin and Schneeplestein, even if it means exchanging himself for their guaranteed safe return.

The boy goes against his purpose when he deliberately breaks into a Next. All he needs is a fresh top and a pair of trousers. He doesn't want to show up in the tattered mess that was his suit. Besides, he recognises this shopping center. He's visited the coffee shop here multiple times. Even better, it was near the River Shannon. He's missed admiring her on the bridge. All he needs to do is cross it and keep following the road until he reaches home. He's so close.

Hope comes from Sean's Bar. If he's reached it then home is only down the street. Please, oh please. If he can just be granted permission to sit on Sean's sofa for a few minutes, he'll be beyond grateful. He usually sided with Jack but Sean shouldn't turn him away, right? He wasn't a completely bad guy as far as the boy's memory serves. Five minutes and he'll be out of his hair.

Hope vanishes when a voice that is clearly not Sean's answers the buzzer. He panics momentarily, wondering if he's hit the wrong button and disturbed a stranger unnecessarily. But no, he definitely rang Flat 12. A woman chastises him for bothering her this late. He learns Sean hasn't lived at this address in months. She doesn't know where he is now.

He spots a house with no cars parked beside it. He knows he shouldn't but he takes his chances. The boy gets lucky. With nobody home, he accesses a laptop. It takes longer than it should, no thanks to his lack of practise, but he eventually gets into the account. And oh, isn't the internet a wonderful thing. Within an hour, he's discovered he has to travel to Brighton, England and what the fastest way there is. Athlone to Dublin, Cherbourg, Portsmouth then finally Brighton. It will involve two ferries and an overwhelming amount of walking. However, it's better than other options. God knows stowing away on a ferry is safer than on a plane.

He doesn't know what he's doing, breaking into someone's home, hacking their devices then planning to be a stowaway. Yet, he would have otherwise stayed lost forever. Besides, it's roughly 26 hours to reach Dublin's port from here then another 15 hours by foot from Portsmouth to find Brighton. If he sleeps with one eye open, he may be able to get a few hours in before heading out.

Somewhere between Rochfortbridge and Milltownpass, his flight gives out. He finds branches and utilises them as he endures on until he reaches the bog. The boy refuses to rest on the second night of his journey. It's not long before dawn by the time he reaches Dublin. The branches are swapped for crutches before departing for France. He collapses and stays on the ground for the entire cruise. There isn't as much time to do so when destined for England.

Survive, just survive. He's already made it this far. What's 15 hours of 'walking' compared to the rest of what he's gone through? The sun passes the baton to the moon and then takes it back. He suspects it's during the hottest hours of the day when he spots a beach. Brighton, he had finally made it to Brighton. He considers messaging Sean to make things easier for himself. Then again, this was the guy who replaced him with another ego and moved out of Ireland while he was still missing. He ultimately decides against it. How large could one seaside town be? Sean's home could be found eventually, with it access to his own home.

He stumbles upon the gateway to his world accidentally. The house is different from how he remembers it. It's grown, likely to accommodate his replacement and any others he's not aware of. But it's hopefully still similar to the home he left behind. He couldn't bear to return to somewhere unrecognisable. He stands there, palm weakly banging on the door. An ego wearing a cap answers. The boy's pretty sure they've never met before. This must be him.

"Yeah?" Cap Guy is surprised by his appearance. He doesn't blame him. God knows what shape he's in. "Whoa, you look like you had a rough time in your video." Video, what video? Does he not know one of his own had been missing? "Please let me in. I can't remember the last time I... the last time I, uh..." Ate. He's forgotten when the last time he ate was. Or drank something, for that matter. And dear God, he would be grateful for a chance to crash on their floor for a minute. "Who is it, Chase? Is it Sean? Tell him he can turn around and never come back." He vaguely recalls that voice. But it's only just in earshot and he's so exhausted. "I don't know. I think he might be a new one." Chase notices the unsteadiness. The boy's arm is guided around the unfamiliar ego's shoulder. "It's okay, dude, I've got you." "He better not be making new egos. If he fucking thinks he can do that after everything he's pulled, Sean's got another thing coming. The zombie was bad enough." "Marv, I could use your help."

He barely manages to catch a glimpse of Marvin before his legs buckle and his mind switches off.

Memories of what a bed feels like flood in. There's something in his arm and another thing wrapped around his hand. What had he done to impress Anti enough for him to bestow him the luxury of a bed? He had gone crazy enough to dream of an arduous journey to England. It had been so vivid, almost as if it had actually happened. But that would have meant leaving. As if he was capable of that.

"Hey Jackie, you waking up there? I'd love it if you could open your eyes for me."

He obeys the soft-spoken voice's coaxing. It's a fake Marvin in what pretends to be the infirmary back home. He's probably been dumped in the deprivation room again. That would explain it. He likes this illusion though. It's nice to imagine he's back to his old life.

"Oh, thank God. At least you're okay." Not-Marvin's smile is gentle. He hates it. "So... long time, no see, huh?" "Uh huh. You know where the real Marvin and Schneeplestein are? I need to get them out." "What? No, this is real. I'm real. Jackie, come on, look at me. You're home." "Jackie?"

Jackie. It doesn't feel right. He hasn't been Jackie since, well, the start of November. Except, his name was Jackie. It's always been Jackie. All that he's experiencing couldn't be falsified. Even the most realistic visions didn't use his name. They'd always called him things like 'buddy' and 'dude'.

Marvin states it's September 22nd 2017. Ten months and three weeks. He's been gone for ten months and three weeks. How many days even was that? So many more than the three and a half months he had here before disappearing. Who knows how much he's missed since then. At least Marvin was here. He hopes Angus is doing alright. Man, he's really looking forward to seeing Jack again too. He's probably recording a video at the moment.

The two friends chat for a while. Jackie lets the magician lead. No point risking aggravating him unintentionally. They had looked for him. There had simply been too many dead ends and they were gradually losing hope of ever getting a result. Marvin tells him about Bastet the cat and the rabbit whose full name was Tim the Enchanter. Jackie wouldn't mind meeting Bastet. Tim, he'd have to work his way up to.

Unfortunately, all good things have to come to an end. Jackie makes a innocent comment about how Jack must be busy on a video if he hasn't come to visit yet. He is apologetic for causing Marvin's face to fall. With a heavy sigh, the magician admits he was wondering when the subject would be brought up. All he can tell Jackie is that Jack was unavailable. He'd show him exactly what happened as soon as he recovers a little.

As promised, he's allowed out of bed later that week. It's not close in the slightest to what he'd theorised. Jack is connected to all these wires. He's breathing through a mask. A coma? A freaking coma?! Sure, the last time they had seen each other it had also been here. But he'd been conscious. Jack had been perfectly awake and pissed off at Sean.

Where even was Sean in all this? Jackie hadn't seen him around either.

"Is Sean like this too?" "No. I'm not saying I wish he was the one in that position. That would be a shitty thing to want. But it would be easier to get on with life if he wasn't able to ruin it by pulling his usual crap." Marvin must notice the instinctively suppressed flinch. "Fuck, I'm sorry. I'm not mad at you. But just look at him. How can you not be mad?" "I- How? When?" "August 3rd. He was about to record a video but apparently wasn't feeling great. Went to Henrik to see if he could help then... Schneep hit the panic button. The door was locked and trust me, I tried every spell I could think of to get to them. Chase was there too. Nothing worked. Nothing. It opened on its own. And there he was. We can't do much else other than keep him comfortable. We update his drip with Henrik's back up supply but that's running out. I'd ask Sean for a way to get more but it's not like he's ever really done anything helpful for us." "Schneep's missing." "Yeah. Mr Glitch Bitch himself took him while he tried to save Jack's life. You... haven't seen him, have you? I've been wondering whether he kept you in the same place."

Yes, Jackie's seen their doctor. Seen him and betrayed him. He used him to escape. Who knows what he was being put through at that very moment? Knowing Anti, he was likely taking his frustrations of losing Jackie out on Schneeplestein. The plan was to get home, regain strength and then attempt a rescue. It seemed the doctor would have to wait. Whatever it takes, he is not going to be at Anti's disposal for nearly 11 months. Jackie is going to earn his role.

That's going to take a long time if Marvin directing him to a chair and asking him to breathe becomes a common occurrence.

Angus drops by the infirmary briefly and Jackie's glad to see him. It means a lot to know he's made the effort. However, Jackie cuts the visit short. All he can concentrate on is the memories of when it was just the three of them. That month before Marvin entered the picture. The hunter wasn't always invested in the socialisation and it could lead to awkward evenings but on his best days, Jackie had begun to really warm to him. But, of course, it never been Jackie and Angus. There was Jack and Angus, Jack and Jackie or the trio. Jack was the missing link and it showed. So he lies about how tired he is. He can always make up for it later.

He's soon permitted to sleep in his old bedroom. Everything in the house has changed. There's new egos, Marvin has pets and Jack is comatose. The doors to their rooms have personal symbols painted on them. Jackie's is left blank. The room itself is pretty much how he left it. They've basically preserved it like some dumb time capsule. The only new things are the presents and envelopes that he suspects contain cards. 'Happy birthday, Jackie! We miss you.' in what is undeniably Jack's handwriting? No, the tag gets ripped off the wrapping paper immediately. The gifts and cards are hastily removed from the bedside table they were lying on.

Jackie questions whether he should visit Jack's room. He knows the guy had a habit of keeping photographs. He's curious to know who was in the current occupant of the frame he owned. He wouldn't mind lying on his bed too, give it a purpose for once. On second thought, the bedroom would be as devoid of life as his own. Plus, the bed would be cold.

Jackie instead finds the video posted on July 10th 2016. The thumbnail is so fake, simply Sean posing heroically for the image. Jackie clicks regardless. His creator recites his introduction before welcoming the audience to the game. The first glitch appears. The boy pathetically clamps his eyes shut in response. Device beside him, he simply listens as the audio runs.

"-this time, I was getting all freaked out the last time, I was getting all scared, and I was acting like a little cry baby. So this time, I've got a special solution: I'm not going to be scared anymore because I am going to morph into a superhero!"

He peeks at the dramatic montage of him changing into his costume for the first time. This was it, the beginning of the superhero made to be fearless, made to face danger head on with little consideration for the consequences. He was supposed to be someone whose confidence was something to admire. People should look to him for inspiration in conquering the things holding them back. He wasn't meant to act like a little cry baby.

And yet, laying on his bedroom floor with hands covering his face, Jackie can do nothing but sob.

[trinuviel]

Winterfell’s Daughter. On Sansa Stark (part 14)

I’ve previously written a series of essays that analyse Sansa Stark’s narrative arc in Game of Thrones - during season 1 (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6) and during season 2 (Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10) and now during season 3 (Part 11, Part 12, Part 13).

One of the important themes in Sansa Stark’s narrative arc in season 3 is her political importance. As Robb Stark’s heir apparent she is the Key to the North, which is stated by political players such as Lord Varys and Tywin Lannister. That is also why she is courted by both Patyr Baelish and the Tyrells. They all want to secure her claim in the case of Robb’s premature death. However, her arc is also about hope - the hope of escape, safety and family - and the subsequent crushing of that fragile hope. 

In my previous post I analysed how Sansa was charmed and courted by Margaery and Loras Tyrell - with Margaery not only offering a marriage to Loras but also the promise of sisterhood as well as a new home, filled with all the courtly sophistication that a nobly born girl could wish for. Loras’ awkward courtship in the beautiful gardens of the Red Keep re-awakened all of Sansa’s girlish dreams that she had gleaned from the romantic songs that she loved so much in the first season.

A POLITE REFUSAL

The Tyrells are not the only ones that offer Sansa an escape from her abuse. In the very first episode, Petyr Baelish offers to sneak her out of King’s Landing. This is a plan that is much more dangerous than the Tyrell offer and Sansa is vary of Baelish in a way that she isn’t with Margaery - so it isn’t surprising that Sansa chooses the less dangerous option, an option that promises the protection of a powerful noble House. 

In episode 5, Petyr Baelish once again approaches Sansa while she’s alone,  watching a lonely ship at anchor in Blackwater Bay. A bit of seemingly inconsequential small talk follows. I say seemingly because this little exchange between Sansa and Baelish is, in fact, fraught with subtext - and the subtext is informed by our knowledge of the fact that Baelish already knows about the secret betrothal between Sansa and Loras Tyrell.

Baelish: She may not be the grandest ship in the world… or the fastest… but she is mine. I’ve always wanted a ship. Now I want a dozen. Strange, isn’t it?

Sansa: What is?

Baelish: It doesn’t matter what we want, once we get it, then we want something else.

Sansa: Many ladies wear it this way.

The subtext to this exchange revolves around Baelish indirectly implying that he offered Sansa something she wanted - seeing her family again, escaping King’s Landing - and now she wants something else, something more. The way he then changes the subject to Sansa wearing her hair in a style favoured by Margaery Tyrell is also him hinting that Sansa is now under the influence of Margaery in more ways than just a sense of fashion. Of course, Sansa is unaware of him knowing her secret - so the subtext of his words are entirely for the benefit of the audience. Then, Baelish changes the subject of conversation yet again.

Baelish: I have good news. I’ll be leaving the city soon.

Sansa: You still want me to come with you?

Baelish: It is not a question of what I want. It is what you want. You want to go home, do you?

Sansa looks down.

Sansa: Of course. More than anything.

She looks down again.

Sansa: But maybe it is better to wait. I’ve been thinking how dangerous it would be. Not just for me, but for you. You’ve been so kind. I’d feel terrible if anything happened to you.

Baelish: I can’t tell you how touched I am by your concern for my welfare. I hope you know that I’m your friend, Sansa. Your true friend.

Sansa: I do, Lord Baelish.

Baelish: Petyr.

He’s trying to force familiarity here, a sense of friendship - but unlike Margaery he isn’t very good at charming people. He’s unctuous and oily, quite different from the lighthearted camaraderie that Margaery so effortlessly projects in her interactions with Sansa. He understands neither real love nor true friendship because he’s always looking to exploit people for his own benefit. Not to mention the fact that he’s a middle-aged predator, obsessed with Sansa’s mother whom Sansa greatly resembles. 

Sansa: Petyr.

Baelish: If you wish to stay, then of course you will stay.

He takes her hand and kisses it.

Baelish: We’ll talk again when I return.

As he leaves, Sansa exhales audibly. She was extremely nervous about this conversation because she was lying to a man who had previously told her that she’s a poor liar. She smiles slightly and it is clear that she thinks she pulled it off. However, the audience already knows that Baelish is aware of the truth. He knows she’s lying to him and that her concern for him is false. I wonder if this has made him angry. It is clear that his decision to tell the Lannisters about the Tyrell-Stark betrothal is a move he makes to prevent Sansa from slipping through his fingers but I do wonder if there’s also an element of him wanting to punish her for rejecting his offer. However, this is pure speculation on my part.

HOPE CRUSHED

In my previous post, I wrote how the secret betrothal between Sansa and Loras Tyrell re-awakened all her girlish dreams of chivalric romance. The prospect of marrying a dashing knight and escaping her prison in order to live in Highgarden with its sophisticated culture has Sansa all atwitter, which is highlighted in a scene between Sansa and Shae where Sansa is happily discussing both fashion and her future wedding to Loras.

There are two things that are worth noticing in this scene:

Sansa still tells Shae everything! Her planned betrothal to Loras is secret but Sansa trusts Shae implicitly.

Sansa is so hopeful in this scene, which is rather heartbreaking since the audience already knows that her hopes are about to be crushed.

Sansa asks Shae whether the Tyrells will let her invite her family to her wedding to Loras. I’ve seen a lot of fans say that this line proves that Sansa is still hopelessly naive and stupid. I beg to differ. She is hopeful. I don’t find hopefulness stupid. Is her hopefulness naïve? Perhaps – but how is she to know that the secret betrothal isn’t very secret anymore? Are the writers telling the audience that Sansa is stupid and naïve? Possibly – but considering the scene that immediately follows this exchange between Sansa and Shae, I tend to think that this particular line of Sansa’s (“Will they let me invite my family?”) is more about lending a poignancy to her hopefulness right before those hopes are unequivocally crushed. It is a more generous interpretation than the one that dominates the fandom but I’d argue that there is room for both – it all comes down to whether you think the ability to hope for something better, even amidst abuse and loss, is stupid or not.

The conversation between Sansa and Shae is interrupted by a maid, announcing the presence of Tyrion Lannister who is there to inform Sansa that they are to marry.

Tyrion: Well… This is awkward.

The scene ends before he actually tells Sansa that they are to marry but the fact that Tyrion is about to break the news to Sansa in front of his lover shifts the focus of the narrative from Sansa onto Tyrion and Shae. In fact, all of Tyrion’s lines following his initial statement refers indirectly to his relationship with Shae! So this scene is really about him and not about Sansa at all, even though it is her hopes that are about to be crushed. This scene is also is an invention of the show since in the books Tyrion never bothers to actually inform Sansa of their upcoming wedding. In the books, Sansa is only informed of her wedding to Tyrion on the very day it is to take place and Cersei literally threatens to have her forcibly dragged to the altar.

One of the things I really dislike about the show is the way that it expunges Tyrion’s worst qualities and makes him act better than his character is originally written. This creative decision really impacts Sansa’s arc in a rather negative way since it frames Tyrion’s “suffering” as being equal to Sansa’s and it removes the focus on how utterly helpless and friendless Sansa is as a hostage at the Lannister court. Indeed, the way the show depicts their wedding (and marriage) repeatedly shifts the focus away from the victimization of Sansa in favour of Tyrion’s man-pain – and it erases the fact that this marriage serves to rob Sansa of everything while it only serves to benefit Tyrion. 

He may not being jumping with joy at the prospect of this marriage but let us not forget that it is designed to rob Sansa of her inheritance while Tyrion stands to benefit politically from her disenfranchisement.

We don’t get to see Tyrion actually telling Sansa that they will be wed but we do get to see her heartbroken reaction in the montage that accompanies Baelish’s infamous “Chaos is a Ladder” monologue at the very end of the episode. Sansa appears in the middle of his monologue after we’ve seen what happens to the people that try to climb the ladder of chaos but fails and are broken by the fall with an shot where Joffrey fiddles with his crossbow while Ros’ dead body is tied to his bedpost. Then the camera cuts to a shot of Sansa and Shae, their backs to the camera, with Blackwater Bay and Baelish’s ship in the background.

Baelish (VO): …and some are given the chance to climb…

The camera slowly zooms in on the ship that represents Sansa’s lost chance of escape.

Baelish (VO): …but they refuse.

Cut to a shot of a tearful and heartbroken Sansa.

Baelish (VO): …they cling to the realm or the Gods or love.

Cut to a close-up on the ship at anchor in the bay.

Baelish (VO): Illusions. Only the ladder is real.

Close-up of Sansa’s face as she desperately tries to hold back her tears.

Baelish (VO): The climb is all there is.

On the surface it looks like the narrative judges Sansa negatively for refusing to climb the Ladder of Chaos, that she’s still naively clinging to her illusions. It is easy to see why many come to that conclusion due to how the shots of Sansa are placed in the montage that is combined with Baelish’s monologue. However, we have to ask ourselves this: does the show itself endorse Baelish’s cynical ideology of chaos as a means of self-promotion? In order to find the answer to this question we have to look at how the entire sequence is framed, both the monologue and the images that accompanies it.

Baelish delivers his monologue after a conversation with Varys where they discuss their actions. Varys justifies his actions by saying that they are for the good of the realm. Baelish scoffs at this remark and says that the realm is simply a story that is a lie. Baelish doesn’t believe in the realm, in any kind of community that serves the many rather than the ambition of the individual. Varys counters this statement by saying that without the “illusion” of the realm, there is only chaos: “a gaping pit waiting to swallow us all”. This is where Baelish states that chaos is a ladder - a ladder for the ambitious individual to climb to further his own advancement.

Neither should we forget that Baelish is consistently presented as a villain who is willing to let the world burn in order to get what he wants - there’s a reason why Varys calls him the King of Ashes! Varys, on the other hand, is presented as Baelish’s opponent, as someone who puts the good of the many before his own desires - and if he can help someone at the same time as achieving his overall goal, so much the better (like preventing Baelish from getting his hands on Sansa and at the same time getting her away from Joffrey’s abuse). 

It is also worth noting that while we see Sansa when Baelish talks about the people who refuse the climb, she is not the only person that this segment of the monologue targets. It also targets Varys when he talks about people refusing to climb because they cling to ideas of love, the gods or the Realm! 

Love, Religion, the Realm. These are things that Baelish himself considers to be meaningless illusions. Baelish is a cynic who scorns people who believe in things that are larger than themselves, people who don’t put their selfish desires first – and while it seems that people like that are losing the game at this stage in the narrative, he is actually the one who is wrong. Despite its many weaknesses, season 7 is actually where the narrative affirms that protecting the realm is more important than the people who selfishly try to come out on top. During season 7, Jon Snow, one of the undisputed heroes of the story, reaffirms that his role is to be “the shield that guard the realms of men” – and the narrative leaves no one in doubt that his mission is far more important and more morally sound that the objectives of the people who bring about destruction in their desire to rule the fates of other people.

So, no. The narrative doesn’t punish Sansa for not wanting to climb Baelish’s ladder of chaos – Baelish is the one punishing her for rejecting him! But you have to look beneath the surface of the montage and look at the way it is framed within the larger story.

MAKE THE BEST OF THE SITUATION?

While we do not witness Tyrion telling Sansa of their upcoming nuptials, nor her immediate reaction, we do get to see her heartbroken state later on in a scene between her and Margaery in episode 7. The scene begins with a wide shot of Sansa and Margaery, sitting in a patio in the gardens of the Red Keep. Margery comforts a tearful Sansa who is mourning her lost hopes of a brighter future in Highgarden.

Sansa: Growing up in Winterfell I always wanted to escape, to come to the capital. See the southern knights and their painted armour. All the candles in burning in all the windows.

The camera cuts to a close-up of Sansa’s face. She starts to cry.

This is just such a heartbreaking utterance. Sansa has never been stupid. She was a sheltered child, loved and protected by her family. Her innocence wasn’t stupid and neither were her dreams. They were the symptoms of a child who had been loved and protected. It is incredibly sad to see her denounce her hope of a better future in Highgarden as stupid. 

Hope is never stupid! Hope is what drives people to work to create a better world, even in the face of overwhelming hardship. To give up on hope is to give in to despair.

Sansa wasn’t stupid or wrong to hope for something better – to despair is to give up on life and Sansa is stronger than she thinks, stronger than many people among the audience think. Her hopes were crushed by callous people who seek to rob her of her inheritance, her freedom and her autonomy. Sansa’s crushed hopes are not a symptom of any stupidity on her part but an indictment of the callous ambitions of men like Petyr Baelish and Tywin Lannister. The very fact that Sansa calls herself stupid is also an effect of the emotional abuse that both Cersei and Joffrey have heaped upon her. Both of them repeated call her stupid and foolish. Her self-esteem has been destroyed. Thus, it is no wonder that Sansa has internalized this notion, sad as it is.

Margaery: I remember the first time I saw you in the throne room. I’d never seen anyone who looked so unhappy.

Sansa wipes away her tears. Margaery takes her by the arm as they stroll into the lush gardens of the Red Keep.

Margaery: I want very much for you to be happy, Sansa, and so does my grandmother.

I think that Margaery is honest here – at least about her own feelings – and Natalie Dormer’s acting choices certainly supports this interpretation. Her expression is genuinely sympathetic when she’s witnessing Sansa’s unhappy tears. 

This scene is very much about Margaery extending her hand in a genuine spirit of friendship. This is yet another marked change from the books where Margaery drops Sansa like a hot potato after the Tyrell betrothal falls through. It is a change that I actually like because one of GRRM’s most glaring blind-spots is the complete lack of any positive relationships between women in his story.

During their stroll, Margaery stops to pluck a rose, the heraldic symbol of House Tyrell.

Margaery: You would have been happy in Highgarden… but women in our position must make the best of our circumstances.

Not only is Margaery older and more worldly than Sansa but I think it is safe to assume that she was never raised to be quite as sheltered as Sansa has been. She’s an ambitious pragmatist and she’s giving Sansa what she thinks is the best advice that she can offer.

Sansa: How do I make the best of my circumstances? I have to marry him.

The camera cuts to a medium close-up of Margaery and Sansa, facing each other. Margery hands Sansa the rose, which is a nice call back to the tourney scene in season 1 where her brother Loras handed Sansa a red rose. However, unlike Loras, Margaery offers Sansa her rose as an act that symbolizes a genuine offer of friendship.

Margaery proceeds to ask Sansa whether Tyrion has mistreated her? Whether he has been kind to her? Sansa says that he has tried to be kind.

Margaery: You don’t want him though.

Sansa: He’s a Lannister.

This is the crux of the matter! Tyrion’s family holds her prisoner, they are responsible for the death of her father and some of them abuse her emotionally as well as physically for their own enjoyment. She is being forced to marry an enemy of her family and this marriage will keep her a hostage forever. 

In this context it doesn’t really matter whether Tyrion is kind or not – this marriage will strip her of her family name and it effectively ends her hope of ever returning to the loving embrace of her family. 

Furthermore, the very reason for this marriage rests upon Tywin Lannister’s desire to appropriate her family home since she is Robb Stark’s heir apparent. It is also one part of a two-pronged attack on her family since Tywin is plotting to kill Sansa’s brother so that he can install Tyrion as Lord of Winterfell by way of this marriage. Tywin’s nefarious plot comes to a bloody fruition just a few episodes later when Sansa’s brother and mother are cruelly slain by the Freys.

Margaery continues to dispense advice as she and Sansa stroll in the gardens.

Margaery: My son will be king. Sons learn from their mothers. I plan to teach mine a great deal.

While Margaery is ambitious, she doesn’t plan to wield power directly. We have already seen that Margaery excels when it comes to the use of soft power – her charitable endeavours have helped win her the love of the people in King’s Landing and so far she’s successfully manipulated Joffrey. She plans to use the same approach in her marriage, not only by subtly influencing people in power but also by shaping any future children she’d produce so that it’ll be her legacy rather than Joffrey’s that would shape the realm in the future. Interestingly, this scene also functions as a companion piece to Cersei’s advice to Sansa about loving her children despite not loving her husband from season 2.

Margaery then points out that if Sansa has a son by Tyrion, he might be Lord of Casterly Rock and perhaps even Lord of the North. She’s trying to appeal to a sense of ambition in Sansa because that is how she approaches her place in the world – and she doesn’t really understand that Sansa doesn’t crave power but just wants to be safe and loved. This talk about children makes Sansa rather uncomfortable and the issue of sex comes up. Sansa is adamant that it isn’t the pain of losing her virginity that she fears (she’s used to bodily pain after what Joffrey’s put her through). Rather she objects to the fact that Tyrion is a dwarf. Margaery then proceeds to talk about how different people find different things attractive and says that sexual experience in a husband can be a good thing for the wife.

I cannot stress enough how I absolutely HATE how the show frames Sansa’s upcoming marriage here! Suddenly, Sansa is presented as shallow when it is in fact not Tyrion’s dwarfism that is the most problematic thing about this marriage. The most problematic thing about this marriage is the fact that Sansa is being FORCED to marry him and that he, as a Lannister, is an enemy of her family! This marriage is a scheme aimed at disenfranchising Sansa and it is predicated upon a plot to murder her older brother so that the Lannisters can claim her home for themselves. 

Furthermore, the idea that she should just give Tyrion a chance and try to make the best of things completely puts the onus on her to make the marriage work and that is such a gross notion since she has been given absolutely no choice in the matter, the marriage will make her hostage situation permanent and the whole thing is designed to steal her inheritance. 

Combined with the general whitewashing of Tyrion’s character, this framing blames any lack of success in the upcoming marriage on Sansa while erasing her helplessness and lack of consent - it is an implicit piece of victim-blaming, which is almost too gross for words. The changes that the show made with this marriage plot are really deplorable because they appear to have been made in order to make Tyrion more likeable than he is in the books - and this comes at the expense of Sansa’s characterization.

To be continued...

(GIFs not mine)

[jmsebastian]

Great Adaptation Expectations - Sword of the Berserk: Guts' Rage

Some things just demand to be adapted into video games, and Kentaro Miura’s dark fantasy manga series Berserk stands pretty much atop that list. Released in 1999 and developed by Yuke’s in cooperation with Miura, Sword of the Berserk: Guts’ Rage is a third-person action game for the Sega Dreamcast that attempted to scratch that initial gamification itch, and ride the success following the first anime adaptation of the series, which premiered two years prior.

Before discussing the details, it’s important to note that Sword of the Berserk suffers the same fate that so many licensed games do. It isn’t very good. Some of that comes down to the era in which it was made. There are a few frustrations that plague it that are typical of an era in which 3D action games were relatively new. That isn’t to say there aren’t things to enjoy about the game. If nothing else, it did help solidify why the approach to how action games played needed to be adjusted. Unfortunately, that means Sword of the Berserk itself, is something of a missed opportunity. On the plus side, it’s not a very long game, so its shortcomings don’t have enough time to grossly overstay their welcome, and any suffering along the way is mercifully brief.

The first obvious issue is the lack of camera control. Going back to play any 3rd person action game without a controllable camera can feel extremely limiting. It’s become such a staple that it feels more unnatural not to have it than it probably did to have it when it was first introduced. Of course, there are certainly examples of very good games that lack it. You can’t control the camera in Onimusha or Devil May Cry, but you don’t tend to notice that limitation as much since the camera is placed in thought ways that reveal the relevant visual information to the player.

Sword of the Berserk’s camera lacks that thoughtfulness. It tries to be dynamic, moving along with your character, but the concern seems to be more on framing Guts in a particular way rather than assisting the player. Given that this is an adaptation of a beautifully drawn manga series, it’s hard to fault the developers for trying to capture some of that magic in their game (which they largely accomplish in the cutscenes), however, it ends up compromising its playability to a fairly extreme degree at times.

You also have the issue of moving toward the camera a lot, meaning you’ll often find yourself running headfirst into danger you can’t see until it’s too late. There’s even an escape sequence near the end of the game reminiscent of Sonic Adventure 2’s opening sequence. You have to run around and jump over obstacles with little warning before you’re right up against them. Without rings to help you cling to life, this is extremely frustrating. One mistake means you die, and in a game with limited checkpoints and continues, it can quickly become the hardest and most frustrating part of the entire experience.

Rollin' around at the speed of sound/Got places to go, gotta follow my rainbow/Can't stick around, have to keep movin' on/Guess what lies ahead, only one way to find out!

Another part of what makes the camera so difficult is that it doesn’t have a lot of room to maneuver, even if the developers might have wanted to. You spend most of your time inside a castle, fighting through narrow corridors and cramped courtyards. In those confined spaces, the camera can’t really move wherever it wants because chances are, level geometry would get in the way. There are few examples of where this does actually happen, such as when you travel below the castle’s cemetery, and an obelisk sitting in the middle of the room complete obscures any figures that move behind it.

Aside from restricting the camera, the level design has the consequence of hampering what the game’s mechanics are centered around entirely, the combat. The whole point of a Berserk game is to play as Guts and swing the laughably huge Dragon Slayer sword around. There are several levels in this game where that is literally impossible. One level in particular, where you run through the castle town has several passageways where you’ll clank your sword against stone trying to land a hit on guards that hinder your progress. The developers seemed to realize this would be a problem, so they put in the option to sheath the Dragon Slayer and fight with your fists. I can say that this is not the most adequate solution. Even playing on the easy difficulty, punching guards out is a dubious proposition. Your damage output is drastically reduced and since the guards can snipe you with arrows from some distance with crossbows, you may well die before even getting the chance.

Let me just, uh, erm, hmm.

On some level, you have to respect the commitment to realism, as you obviously could not swing a sword the size of the Dragon Slayer in most places that human being typically occupy. However, the ability to swing said hunk of iron in the first place is fantastical, and thus, I think it would have been more than a fair compromise to let the sword simply clip through level geometry in an effort to make the combat more fluid and satisfying. Thankfully, the boss fights, which are the main draw of the game’s combat, are usually placed in much more open areas to avoid this issue.

Ultimately, I get the feeling that the game’s design took something of a back seat to the story that Kentaro Miura wanted to tell, and as such, there’s relatively little actual game to be played at all. Of the roughly four hours it takes to get through, most of that time is spent in cutscenes, making Sword of the Berserk more of an animated film than a game. Honestly, this does not really bother me. If you got the game because you were already a fan of Berserk, then what you’re getting is Berserk. What’s especially great about it is that the story told is unique to the game. It’s a side-quest, as it were, to the Millennium Falcon arc, where Guts has decided to keep the traumatized Casca close to him as he continues his quest to defeat Griffith. In this side story, Guts meets some traveling performers and decides to go watch their performance in a nearby town. He ends up walking into the middle of a conflict between the regions lord and people afflicted with a curse, called the Mandragora.

What’s more, is that the story is told quite well. For its time, the Dreamcast was a very capable platform for 3D graphics. Even twenty years later, the cutscenes are enjoyable to watch on their own if you’re willing to overlook a few flaws. Sure, the characters models are a bit blocky and they move a bit like action figures, but robotic movement is a problem that still plagues 3D animation if the 2016 Berserk or 2019 Ultraman anime is anything to go by. There’s still incredible attention to detail. The faces, in particular, have a lot of expression to them and help bring moments to life in a way that seems hard to believe at times.

You can really see the despair on his face.

It helps, too, that the voice acting is of very high quality. With well-known talents like Cam Clarke and Earl Boen, there was a clear emphasis on treating the game’s story seriously. This is extremely important since the story makes up pretty much the whole reason you’d be playing this game in the first place. There are some issues with the localization here and there (the name Guts is treated as a nickname rather than a given name in a few scenes), but the line delivery and interaction between characters really sell the scenes, even if the lines themselves are a bit clunky or cliched. When you compare the cutscenes in Sword of the Berserk to those in say, Tenchu: Stealth Assassins, released just a year earlier, you can’t help but appreciate the skill in direction and experience of the actors when stellar voice-acting in games was not a given.

You could argue that this story could have been served better through manga or traditional animation, but it’s hard to fault Yuke’s for wanting to make a Berserk game, or Miura for wanting to branch out and test the waters on new methods of conveying his story. Berserk’s popularity in Japan meant that a game based on the series was going to be made at some point, and creating a self-contained side story that can be begun and ended within that game makes perfect sense. It also helps make the game approachable by those who aren’t familiar with the series at all. In 1999, Berserk certainly wasn’t considered such a pinnacle of dark fantasy in the West as it is today, so someone picking the game off the shelf in the US would very likely have no frame of reference for the story at all. Thanks to the introduction of new characters like Rita, the player can learn what they need to know through the lens of those characters, making the reliance on that prior knowledge a lot less necessary.

Now that Berserk’s influence has become so far reaching, it seems unlikely that anyone would come to the Dreamcast game without some working knowledge of the series. While it’s hard to consider it a can’t miss part of the Berserk experience (save for the wonderful musical contributions of Susumu Hirasawa), there’s enough there for anyone willing to put up with some clunky design. At the very least, it’s worth watching a playthrough online for the story alone if the act of playing the game itself doesn’t manage to replicate the feeling of becoming the Black Swordsman himself.

[missolitude]

Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey Review

I don’t usually do game reviews but I’ve recently finished playing Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey and I was urged to publish my thoughts and opinions about it. First off, this is the first and only game of the Franchise that I picked up, the main reason for that being that I’m primarily interested in well written RPGs and Odyssey promised what I look for in games: Choices and consequences, multiple endings, a well written story, romances and deep connections with other characters.

In my opinion the game fell flat on all of these criteria, and I will attempt to be as objective as I possibly can but my review of it will ultimately be less than favorable. If you are a fan of the game and have enjoyed it, I am happy for you, but if you are looking for an opinion that will bolster yours, you will not find it here. Also, there will be spoilers for the main story as well as side quests so if you haven’t finished the game, stop reading. You have been warned.

Graphics are great and the world is huge, but ultimately without substance

First of all, let’s start with the few positives. As someone who is mostly focused on a game’s substance, graphics are not what matters most to me, but they are admittedly the game’s strength. The game looks good and the graphics are great, the world is massive, there are endless locations to explore by either foot, horse or boat, and if you are a completionist like me, you will easily get 200+ hours of playtime out of the game. However, and this is where the negatives start already, the game seems to favor quantity over quality.

Once the novelty of the game wears off you will be quick to notice that the landscape is repetitive, and few of it is actually noteworthy or unique. Once you know one island, one temple, one military fort, you know them all. There are entire islands with just one single location on it that can be explored, the rest is lifeless and without substance. None of the citizens in cities or on the streets can be interacted with, nor will they react to you, unless you count some disgruntled huffs and cursing if you run them over with your horse. All of them can be killed without consequences to the story, the bounty you get can be paid off with just one button click and a couple of hours in you have so much money that this minor sum barely seems a noteworthy sacrifice.

Of course, don’t count the many times when you will be attacked by a lion or a boar or a wolf in close proximity to a random side quest NPC and accidentally kill the quest giver or the random person you need to make a delivery to and need to reload an earlier save, since all weapon attacks (it doesn’t matter if you use an Axe or a Spear or Daggers) are automatically AoE (even more so when using fire damage) and you will hit whoever stands close to you and unless you always use your bow in these kinds of situations, there is no safe way for you to make sure not to hit friendlies.

The majority of side quests are fillers and devoid of meaning or content, designed to get you out into the world. Kill a couple of Athenian soldiers, come back, get your reward, kill a couple of Spartan soldiers, come back, get your reward, destroy a couple of War Supplies, come back, get your reward, kill a couple of bandits and destroy some ships, get the stolen money/ring/whatever personal item from xyz, come back, get your reward, repeat ad infinitum. The quest dialogue becomes so repetitive that after a while you will be tempted to kill the quest giver and whoever you chose as your protagonist, not your target. ”I took care of them, everrry last one.” ....Please spare me.

Many world areas are level locked and you will need to grind if you want to explore them all, which means at some point you will experience these tedious, meaningless side quests and wish there was an easy way out or a short cut, and it exists in the form of an experience booster that can be acquired via microtransactions and you will wonder if the game was intentionally designed that way.

As a mercenary that will do jobs just for money you will work for both Athenians and Spartans in their war efforts, and the way in which quests are designed makes it even more obvious that it ultimately doesn’t matter which side you take. Areas will either be governed by Athenians or Spartans and you can weaken their defenses by destroying war supplies, killing soldiers and assassinating their leader. This unlocks a conquest battle in which you can choose to fight for either side. This is completely pointless from a story and character point of view, even more so when you consider that you can sabotage one side just to defend them in battle. Where’s the sense in that?

Your protagonist will mindlessly go along with it and seems to be completely unaware of the irony and idiocy, so either they are oblivious, spineless or generally without own motvations or agenda. Yes you get some experience and loot for conquest battles but other than that this game mechanic is utterly pointless. You could conquer the entire game world for one faction and it wouldn’t change the outcome of the story, the political climate, or how people react to you, you won’t be locked out of quests, nothing changes. It’s just a way for you the pass the time whilst nothing of substance was accomplished and to distract you from the fact that it is altogether meaningless and without consequences, as is the majority of the game.

There are only a couple of instances when you can influence minor parts of the story. Don’t let that fool you, there is only one ending, you can only change minor variables within that outcome. You have a say in how many family members will survive your journey. Sometimes you can decide where someone of importance dies, and that will influence whether you will be able to unveil and kill all of the Cultists that are responsible for destroying your family. One decision makes it possible for you to spare a Cultist who was blackmailed and actually wants to leave the cult, at which point he will give you the necessary information you need to unmask another Cultist. (Which is nonsensical - he has the proof you need on him, you should get it when you search his body regardless, period. His free will in that matter should be completely irrelevant.) At one point you can decide to let a couple of plague victims live and if you do the rest of the island will, unsurprisingly, become infected and the population dies. But these are the only actual choices with consequences the game will give you.

The rest are pseudo choices and the game will only make you want to believe that your decisions matter. Starting with what horse you choose - which is a non-choice. No matter which horse you pick, all of them will be called Phobos, and once you get Horse skins/designs as quest rewards or in form of microtransactions, its exterior will change anyway. Shake Markos’ hand or hug him? A non-choice. You will meet him later on and he won’t even reference it. Whatever you tell Phoibe at whichever point of the story? No consequences whatsoever, what happens to her is unavoidable. Let a couple of thugs go or kill them? A non-choice. Maybe they will make a brief appearance later on at which point you will kill them and that will be the last you ever heard of it. Kill a Cultist or save the baby? A non-choice. If you decide to save the baby the mother won’t even thank you and you get another side quest to then kill the Cultist. If you decide to pursue the Cultist (an old unarmed woman), she runs into a cave, past a pack of hungry wolves - there’s no way she could have survived the encounter, with or without you there.

What happens in the main story will remain unchanged. You will bring down the cult and destroy its Pyramid artifact, you will restore your Spear and with it your legacy, you will retrieve artifacts to seal Atlantis and you will find out who your real father is. All in all the story was disappointing and unoriginal and predictable. The few twists that there are are hardly surprising, most characters seem shallow and lifeless, the way certain scenes are written is just atrocious. Just to give one example: When you first meet your sibling after believing that they are dead your entire life they will not even blink an eye and tell you to leave and you just... go? You don’t ask questions, you are not surprised, you don’t argue, you just leave. Pretty realistic, right? After which your sibling will mindlessly beat another Cultist to death... yeah.

The dialogue is often flat, awkward and inconsistent, to the point where it constantly breaks your immersion. Quest givers will not acknowledge when you have already fulfilled their quest, or already know certain things they reveal to you, your protagonist will contradict themselves and often even within a couple of minutes. During Barnaba’s conversations at the Olympic games I played Kassandra as someone who doesn’t believe that the Gods have any sway over her destiny, and she made fun of God worship and said with a certain aggression that the Gods shouldn’t dare try to meddle with her life. In the next sentence she suggests to make an offering to Zeus. Split personality much?

There is also a huge disconnect between what you know as a player and what your character knows. You will unveil a Cultist via the menu mechanics and Kassandra will act surprised when they reveal who they are. The game will constantly spoiler itself and the pacing is all over the place. Your sibling is not the true leader of the Cult - if this should have been a surprise they shouldn’t have given me a Cult network that makes this clear from the start. At some point your mother will urge you to find out who your real father is - which I did, since I was curious if she had any unique dialogue about him and I just assumed that this was the game’s hint that I would get the most out of the game if I did his storyline now.

Turns out the storyline of who your real father is and what his true purpose is (and yours) will act as a sequel to the main story, and I had still about 40% of the main story left at this point. It felt like a huge spoiler (the irony, I know) and it made the actual ending of the main quest seem like an afterthought. I also was disappointed that you couldn’t decide what to do with the Cult’s Pyramid artifact - this could have been meaningful for a change but I suppose the game didn’t want to risk having possibilities in case they wanted to reference the ending in a sequel. Disheartening, to say the least.

The dalliances (I refuse to call them romances) with other characters mostly feel awkward, flat, superficial and cheesy. For the most part the game fails at conveying any deep connections or emotions and the majority of characters feel like a momentary fuck buddy - jump into bed with them and forget about them a minute later. Daphnae gets an honorable mention: you get the chance at deepening your relationship with her over the course of the game and you will have an actual decision that decides her fate in the end and the outcome might pull at your heartstrings. There aren’t any deeper consequences to that decision and no matter what you do, you will never see Daphnae again, but it is more than I expected and more than you get with other flings.

And of course there is Alkibiades. He was a pleasant surprise on every level, he is well written, complex, multi-faceted, dorky, flirtatious and intriguing. When you first meet him you think he’s a drunken hedonist at best and a perverse sex addict at worst. When you meet him again later, you begin to think he might be shady. But when you do more quests for him your perception on him will be challenged and you realize  there might be more to him than than meets the eye. You will meet him several times during the course of the game and each time adds something to his character and your connection with him feels genuine and meaningful.

I also loved the chemistry with Brasidas and I had high hopes for a meaningful relationship with his character but the game failed to do anything with it. I also romanced Kyra and her character was well-developed but the culmination felt forced and too dramatic. I would have understood that Thaletas, Kyra’s lover, wanted me dead had I not cultivated our relationship and even retrieved his father’s helmet from the bottom of the sea, but I have. I did the questlines for both Kyra and Thaletas and it didn’t matter. Thaletas forced my hand after finding out that Kyra chose me over him. I merely wanted to defeat him in combat but the game didn’t give me that choice, I had to kill him and Kyra hated my guts after that. I wasn’t angry at her for hating me, I was angry at the game for denying me choices. This could have been handled in any number of ways. You could have urged Kyra to communicate her desires to Thaletas. You could have chosen to talk to Thaletas yourself and be upfront with him about your intentions. You could have made this poly, we are in Ancient Greece after all. I’m all for drama and passion but this could have been handled with some semblance of intelligence and foresight and well, communication. That is an option in relationships, you know? It should have been an option here, and up to the player whether they take it or not.

As a last point I will mention the atrocious Greek accents. Many people have already said how forced they sound and they do, but nobody has ever questioned why they are even there in the first place. These people are in Ancient Greece, they speak in their mother tongue and English is merely the fantasy equivalent of that. People do not speak English with an accent in their home land. And don’t give me any weak excuses à la “that’s just how the animus translates” or “all Assassin’s Creed games had accents this is just the way it is” or “this is just to make the game sound more exotic” - no, no, no. It was a design choice and in my opinion it was a terrible one. Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad with a more mellow and natural accent but it felt so forced and stilted it made listening to the NPCs unbearable most of the time, and it constantly broke my immersion. Look, if you want to make a game more exotic record it in Greek with Greek voice actors and add English subtitles. Or just leave certain names and designations and terms in Ancient Greek if you must, but having English spoken in a strong Greek accent makes no sense whatsoever.

All in all the game was pretty to look at and it certainly has potential and worthwhile ideas but they are poorly executed. Most of all, the substance was lacking. I felt like all of my actions ultimately didn’t matter, I found myself questioning my protagonist’s motivations and with that, my own. Why was I so intent on finding my family when not even my protagonist seemed to be overly concerned with their fate? That is especially true for the first half of the game. At no point did I ever feel like I could influence the story, or flesh out my character’s personality, or roleplay. Most of the time you only have two dialogue options, none of which ultimately matter. This feels especially unnatural when trying to have philosophic discussions with Sokrates. You often were caged between two extreme answers and there was no sensible middle option that would have seemed much more appropriate.

None of this would have been so terrible if this game would sell itself as it is, a combat focused open world game with a basically linear story. However the game was advertised as a game with choices, romances, consequences, and there were barely any to speak of. What infuriated me most was this deception. Yes of course you have certain choices - do they influence the world around you or the story? Mostly they don’t. Do you have multiple endings? No you don’t. You merely change certain variables within it. Is it an RPG? No, it certainly is not. I can only judge this game as it presented itself and it failed to deliver on its promises.

[icypantherwrites]

Voltron Season Seven: Thoughts and Reactions

As you can see, I am out of hibernation mode ;p Just finished up a bit ago.

My thoughts in no particular order on season seven. Prepare for a few unintelligible spazzes and random questions that like, why were these not answered? Oh Voltron writers, you and your plot holes. Tagged with all of my previously mentioned ones so here goes!

Okay, so Adam? As much as I didn’t care for how he wasn’t supporting Shiro, I was excited by his role and inclusion in the story! Also, haha, I laughed because I named the one character in my Keith and Shiro backstory Adam and he’s a pilot too, haha. They definitely aren’t the same one because mine was a jerk, but I love that somehow I still got that name. (or maybe that’s how he and Shiro got to talking after Shiro confronts him for what he said to Keith? hehe. Look at me ;p)

But then. When they were mobilizing to fight the first wave I’m like, is Adam a pilot? And then we saw him and then his ship blinked out… gosh. Shiro at the wall with his name broke my heart. There’s a lot of regret there. Definitely something I wish had been further explored, but I’m not surprised they didn’t. There’s a lot that has been skipped over already.

So… Shiro has a disease that gets brought up once, never impacted him at all in the first six seasons and… never mentioned again? Er… what was the point of that exactly? (clone body not have the illness?)

Oh baby Keef. I cheered when he punched Griffin. Glad to see Griffin has grown up since then. But uh, can someone confirm for me the new cadet pilot with the glasses. Is her name… Wasabi? Usagi? And while I adore my Keith backstory this one was endearing too. And his dad died in a fire? Gosh. I had a feeling after the fireman refs but to hear it confirmed. Sad.

Where did Axca go? Like, she left the base with the Paladins and they have no resources to provide her a ship. So…? I’m curious with her popping up at the end behind Krolia and Keith at the grave… interesting. Once it was disproved that she wasn’t Keith’s twin I thought she might be Krolia’s sister but no mention when they met so… hmm. Curious and curioser. (does she like Keith? Hehe ♥ I admit I think they’re pretty asthecially pleasing together and I love Axca’s new design.)

Veronica is a fucking badass. As soon as she showed up on screen I’m like, that’s Lance’s sister. My sister was like, no, and I’m like, uh, her name is Veronica, coloring is the same including the blue eyes and in that really crappy family projection photo from season one there was a relative in a military uniform. Damn, I love her so much. Almost cried when I thought she died (twice xD). Also, her teasing Lance about Allura and her little smirk smile there? I died. So fucking cute.

This is my personal preference but I did not care for the game show episode at all, nor the “reason” behind it. There were a couple cute moments in it (all of them choosing each other to leave and I winced when Lance kept being called the dumb one and could taste the angst) but overall, my least favorite filler. And this coming from someone who adores game shows xD

The “lost in space” episode also wasn’t high on my list. I loved the idea of it and them forming a circle (that was so flipping cute) to stay together with the check ins (and a note to Keith and Krolia’s time together) but the words exchanged? I get it and didn’t mind but they never *really* resolved it. Not really. And some pretty hurtful things were said. Also, the fact they have almost fatal oxygen depletion based upon Keith’s indicator and their weary lines under their eyes, but then they literally bounce back full power to fight? Just throw the realism out the window. Just like the castle of lions losing all oxygen in a matter of hours two seasons ago xDD

How have we ever survived without the space wolf? Seriously? I’m bummed his name is not Yorak but I’ll take Cosmo. Very cute! Love how keith is waiting for the wolf to name himself. Oh, sweetie.

The Blade of Marmora luring with the Druids was delicious. Loved that bit. Glad Kolivan made it out. Wasn’t surprised when Krolia left the main cast; it was getting crowded and given that the writers have difficulty managing characters on a regular basis at times the more the less merrier.

On that note, loved Romelle in the first episode but she practically disappeared for the rest of the season. Disappointed. Thought her and Hunk were hilarious.

Same token bummed Matt was offscreen for most of it. But again, see above.

The three year time gap was interesting. Never really explained well either; pretty much I think a way for earth to get completely overrun by Galra. On that note, loved all of the Sam episodes, think the new pilots are pretty neat additions. Particularly love… Usagi? Wasabi? Kinkade too; a man of few words and I adore his name. Iverson too was a pleasant surprise and I loved his apology to Keith later and his constant backing of Sam. Also, Collen is a badass too. I do have to give credit to the writers; they make some amazingly strong female characters and it’s such a breath of fresh air (from watching YYH it was a stark reminder how things have changed over the years in terms of representation across the board on many things).

But one woman I did not care for was the Admiral. Boo hiss. I also hate that I called her turning on them as she was adamant throughout the entire thing about protecting earth in “her way” and I was waiting for this move. She did save the Paladins lives but she endangered them in the first place so… I acknowledge her desire to protect earth but am disappointed in how her character was played out. (and honestly, why the fuck would she trust Sendak to keep up his end of the deal? Why? Bit of weaker writing there).

Speaking of characters… where’s Haggar? At the end with the giant robot my sister and I were arguing who was driving it; I was Team Lotor and she was Team Haggar. Nada to both of us. Very interesting with that result too;  how was one Altean doing all that? Hmmm. And with the colony missing something is definitely up.

The Hunk family feels I was not expecting and loved them. I was glad he didn’t endanger the team anymore after he found his parents were not accessible, but dios I felt so bad. It’s hard especially to see Lnace and Pidge with their families and he with none. Loved his and Keith’s moment too. ♥ Keith was particularly awkwardly sweet and I loved it.

And Lance’s family! Gosh. Him hugging his niece and nephew broke my heart and then his being mobbed by his family stomped it into the ground with love. So. Beautiful. My boy has his family and I am so so happy.

Speaking of the families! Haha, I’m excited that I was write in that both Lance and Hunk’s families are stateside and I am going with my headcanon of Arizona (Garrison location) given how they were *right there* to be rescued. My childhood besties idea for Lance and Hunk when Lance immigrated over is still well and strong!!!

Back to Lance. I was so so so excited to see him getting some really nice shots and pieces in this season. The sword (c’mon broadsword, let’s see you come back too), the giant cannon gun, the amazing sniper shots (hoshit don’t get me started on that part, I love good sniper cover and damnnn ♥) his attempts to seat everyone in Lions (whoops xD), his stepping up to really support Keith and be second in command... just so much good stuff for my boy ♥ I was freaking out when Red didn’t come right away in the summoning thing after he and Veronica went under fire, but I’m like, Red always does things differently. And then she came in like ajdfkajfklda right when Lance was closing his eyes and thinking it was the end and just, so good. Great timing on that part.

Shiro’s new arm… loved the angst and pain as first one didn’t calibrate xD I’m terrible. I will admit I’m not sold on the design; very bulky and I dislike that it’s not attached; that’s not a proper hug! But I am happy he has one so will go with that.

Er, this is getting long. Last few.

How was Shiro breathing in space in fight against sendak? Someone, please tell me. But also yesss, loved that the two of them had a final fight. Brings back memories. When Keith saved him I really wanted a throwback to the “as many times as it takes” but alas, no go.

On Sendak… is he the main big bad? He sure has quite the Galra fleet. How do Ezor and Zethrid’s turn to piracy factor in? Was expecting something else with Lotor given their mentions of him early on. Is space just one giant war out there right now? We never really found out any details and here I was expecting Axca to fill us in.

The Atlas turning into its own Voltron was super cool. Loved all of the fight scenes although I admit I get bored with all the constant blasts so would have liked those shortened down and more character stuff, but it is a show geared for little kids so… boom boom pow.

The very end speech via Shiro had me on my toes as I didn’t think any of our team died but I was legit slowly starting to panic that somehow the new cadets were going to be the new Voltron pilots because ours were unavailable Phew, not the case! Loved the little hospital scenes popping around, particularly Lance’s nephew wearing his helmet and then Keith waking up to Krolia there. Oh, and Matt getting a hug from his mom! (and that ponytail! ♥ I love guys with a nice ponytail, mm, weakness).

Overall giving this season a 7/10 rating. Not my lowest, definitely not my highest. Very much appreciated though having a longer season to watch.

If you have thoughts feel free to comment on the post! I will not be posting any asks with spoilers in the ask until next Saturday though so best way to get a response is comment here. What did you all think of the season?

[clickbliss]

Battle Princess Madelyn is an enchanting Ghosts N Goblins tribute that's hard to recommend

by Amr (@siegarettes)

Battle Princess Madelyn

Developer:

Publisher:

PC, PS4, Switch

Born of a daughter’s request to have a version of Ghosts ‘N Goblins with a playable girl, Battle Princess Madelyn carries both the spirit of that childhood desire and the series it pays homage to. This results in a game that both challenged and charmed me, bringing spooky character designs with a sense of cuteness, alongside familiar chaotic action.

It leaves a good first impression. I was drawn into the world and simple joy of warding of the assault of the undead. Changing the damsel into a pup that needed to be avenged (and watches over you as a spirit) was a cute, if sad, touch. But as I went on it slowly dawned on me that it wasn’t the game I wanted. The levels were unfocused, too often full of sprawling areas that felt barren and tedious to navigate. Alternate paths and secret areas seemed promising but often led to...dead ends? Or side quests with no tangible reward.

I felt pretty down on it. Until I was met with the realization that Battle Princess Madelyn was actually two totally different games.

It’s true! Selecting Story Mode from the main menu gives you a sprawling quest, complete with dialogue, cutscenes, collectibles, side quests and a non-linear hub world that unlocks as you gain new abilities. Selecting Arcade Mode, however, leads you to a very different game based on the arcade Ghosts ‘N Goblins style! The stages here are remixed from the Story Mode into more compact stage designs with a straightforward action game approach.

I stuck with Story Mode for a few more bosses to get a better feel for it and see if it could impress me, but ultimately I didn’t enjoy it. Simply put, it’s not very good. Battle Princess Madelyn namedrops Wonder Boy 3 as its secondary inspiration, and while I can see its influence here it doesn’t take any of the elements that game successful. Wonderboy 3 uses its different abilities to recontextualize the world and force you to play differently upon revisiting other areas. Metroidvania style games has a different approach, gradually unlocking the world with each new ability.

In either case, it results in a world that gradually begins to feel bigger as you gain new abilities. Battle Princess Madelyn fails to resolve either of those approaches, instead feeling as if it was designed with a moveset in mind then had the character stripped of those moves to crush down the world. It doesn’t feel empowering, just restrictive.

By contrast Arcade Mode gets off to a much better start. You aren’t given a very extensive moveset, but having the double jump and chargeable ghost dog attack from the go allows for better navigation and stage design. Immediately I was leaping around, changing course mid-air and dashing through its spaces while tossing lances and ghost dogs around. It definitely captured that arcade sensibility, and the more compact level design kept it dense with action and demanded my attention at every second. I was having a grand time, but there was one problem: I couldn’t get past the first level.

I don’t mean that the first stage was too hard. It was difficult, but not unreasonably so. Instead I was stopped in the first stage after defeating the boss, with the victory screen just hanging there announcing how legendary my battle was but refusing to move on. This didn’t happen on every playthrough, but it did happen a few too many times and made me terribly anxious that the same thing would happen after each boss. Thankfully it didn’t, but another major obstacle stood in the way instead.

Stage 2, to put it mildly, is a massive, unfair difficulty spike that almost made me quit the game entirely. I eventually got through it after literal hours of practice, but it was a huge early roadblock that kept me from seeing most of the game. A combination of projectile enemies that never let up and a long precision platforming section repeatedly aggravated me until I could find a solution. The archers in the stage barely give you a gap to retaliate once they become active, and the platforming section involves climbing on precarious platforms with snakes around them who also spit venom as bats fly around you, with a single hit sending you falling for seconds to an instant death. This section tormented me with its cheap deaths, leaving me with barely any health to try to figure out the boss. And if I died? Back to the start of the level.

Worse, there was no coming back to this stage later after a break. Unlike Story Mode, if you quit in Arcade Mode you need to start the whole game over. So I decided fuck it, I’m going all in and completing as much as I can in one sitting.

While the game can apparently be completed in less than an hour if you know the stages, I didn’t and there wasn’t exactly a way to practice them. Instead I spent several hours grinding through the stages. Completing Stage 2 confirmed my suspicions that it was out of whack with the rest of the game, as most of the following stages were more reasonable in difficulty, and I even defeated a few bosses within a few or even the first try. Plenty of these stages are memorable in their own right as well, with stages set during storms as you cross on a rickety boat, or one set in a snowstorm, prompting Madelyn to change into a winter coat for its duration.

The bosses are enjoyable as well. It’s a familiar bestiary, with large wolves, crabs, possessed trees and the like, but they often have a fun gimmick for taking them down. For instance, you might have to drop a load of cannons onto the crab, or distract the wolf with a large chunk of meat. These gimmicks aren’t very involved, mostly requiring you to shoot something to open up a vulnerability, but they add variety and remind me of some of the cool boss fights in something like Dragon’s Crown.  

Despite enjoying these later stages it became really hard to ignore Battle Princess Madelyn’s faults. There are many bugs that make it more difficult that it already is. Objects frequently get stuck in walls, at times I repeatedly became stuck in a ladder climbing animation or had the walking animation freeze to a single frame. Your ghost dog is also the only way to attack at oblique angles, but it frequently fails to detect enemies, wasting your charge and leaving you defenseless as enemies approach.

The camera is by far the worst offender, constantly obfuscating platforms from view despite having plenty of screen estate to work with. A certain area on the pirate ship area kept having the camera briefly flicker to a different view, and jumping on a ladder causes the camera to instantly snap to it in an unpleasant and distracting way. All these problems mean it frequently forces blind jumps, which become more of a problem as the stages progress. One later stage even has an area where a horizontal platform you need to jump on isn’t synced up with a vertical one, forcing you to go to an area above where the horizontal platform is totally out of view, forcing you to make a jump with nothing but a guess of where it is based on the timing of its movement. If you miss you of course die and start the section over.

Even the once charming art started to wear on me. The heavy use of glow effects to simulate lighting isn’t my bag, but I can take it or leave it. What looks worse are some of the background art, which don't’ seem like they were originally created as pixel art but are rather higher resolution art that’s been scaled down. This gives it a highly compressed look not unlike the use of pre-rendered backgrounds from the PSX or Saturn era. It’s just a blurry, hard to look at mess.

This is especially true for the title screen and opening cutscene, which were clearly lovingly hand animated. You can see the high resolution art of opening scene in the trailer, but in the game it’s inexplicably compressed as if run through a terrible ancient codec. My guess is that this was an attempt to make it feel more in line with the pixel art aesthetic but it doesn’t work and ruins perfectly good looking artwork.

I hate to admit it, but Battle Princess Madelyn is hard to recommend. The initial charm wears off quick in the frustration of trying to overcome both its daunting challenge and technical issues. You might argue that this brand of frustration is in line with its source material, but the best of the Ghosts ‘N Ghouls series, as well as spiritual successors like Prinny or Maldita Castilla bring a consistency that’s missing here.

Even as I began to enjoy Battle Princess Madelyn my run was eventually ended by sheer randomness. A random weapon drop gave me a leg up early in my run, then a subsequent drop cut my range short and made ever encounter more difficult. Unlike other games in the style drops are inconsistent and you retain weapons after death, so a bad pickup means you’re forced to play with a disadvantage for a while. After hours of struggle this finally killed my run.

I kept playing after, but the decision of choosing between the meandering stages of the story mode or the forced marathon of arcade, stopped my momentum. Between that, the bugs and the inconsistent general direction, Battle Princess Madelyn has too many caveats to recommend. Maybe you could argue its lack of saves in Arcade Mode and unrelenting difficulty are in line with the games it draws from, but it’s hard to stomach that excuse when it so many other problems plague it. There’s a core to the game that might be salvageable, but as it is Battle Princess Madelyn brings back the frustration of the arcade without its magic.

[for-peace-war]

Long Post! Hit J if you want to skip!

My guild has recently had a lot of conversation on Jessica Price and Peter Fries who were recently fired from ArenaNet’s Guild Wars 2 development team.  I’m pretty sure that most everyone that could care has heard about it, but what is confusing me is why people are trying to die on hills for two people that really did not come across as anything other than gatekeeping assholes.

To be clear, if you disagree with this statement then that’s fantastic.  Because I am posting this on social media, I am expressing tacit approval for you to respond to it, dislike it, deconstruct it, or whatever you wish.  This doesn’t mean that I have to like what is being said, but the condition that “if I post this on the internet, then someone may reply to it” is a fairly sound one.

To cut through a lot of the fluff, I’ll summarize:

A developer, Jessica Price, was on her personal twitter discussing the problems with MMO development.

Per usual, a mob formed to express their opinions.  It’s the Internet, so that means saying a lot of crude, disgusting, sexist, and absurd things.

Within this mess, one person - Deroir - decided to voice his own opinion.  I wouldn’t say that he’s an expert (I wouldn’t say that she was either since Guild Wars 2 is a mess...) but I will indicate that among the throngs of the “laymen” (as Fries put it), he at least has some affiliation with the IP. 

Deroir Says: Really interesting thread to read! However, allow me to disagree *slightly*. I dont believe the issue lies in the MMORPG genre itself (as your wording seemingly suggest). I believe the issue lies in the contraints of the Living Story's narrative design; (1 of 3) When you want the outcome to be the same across the board for all players' experiences, then yes, by design you are extremely limited in how you can contruct the personality of the PC. (2 of 3) But, if instead players were given the option to meaningfully express *their* character through branching dialogue options (which also aren't just on the checklist for an achievement that forces you through all dialogue options), (3 of 4 cause I count seemingly...) then perhaps players would be more invested in the roleplaying aspect of that particular MMORPG. Nonetheless, I appreciate the insightful thread! (End)

To which Price replies: thanks for trying to tell me what we do internally, my dude 9_9

And Deroir replies: You getting mad at my obvious attempt at creating dialogue and discussion with you, instead of just replying that I am wrong or otherwise correct me in my false assumptions, is really just disheartening for me. You do you though. I'm sorry if it offended. I'll leave you to it.

The above is their initial discourse and honestly because I don’t feel like posting all of the tirade that follows, I’ll leave it at that for now.

The initial concern was: Should Jessica Price have been fired for ‘going off’ on Deroir? An example of things said:

“Like, the next rando asshat who attempts to explain the concept of branching dialogue to me — as if, you know, having worked in game narrative for a fucking DECADE, I have never heard of it — is getting instablocked. PSA I’m not on the clock here. I’m not your emotional courtesan just because I’m a dev. Don’t expect me to pretend to like you here.”

That is not acceptable, at all.  I would fire anyone that was interacting with my customers while being associated with me, on the basis of that alone.  It is true that she was on her own “private” account, but she was discussing work related information, using her work related title, and using her work related position to open a dialogue (or a monologue, as it seems) with those that were actively purchasing my product.

There have been arguments that he mansplained (read: explained something to her as if she were unaware despite her experience based on her gender) and then secondary calls that “she had dealt with a lot of harassment before so this wasn’t her fault,” but those are two faulty premises:

First, because she was the one that opened this discussion on social media.  If she wanted to avoid responses or only take on “educated information” then she could have either placed it in an article or circulated her complaint among her former co-workers. 

Second, if there was a sea of hateful people that had been harassing her, then this hardly seems like the right time to “take it out” on someone.  I do not know the struggles of women on the Internet, but I know what it’s like be a black person on the Internet so I can say only that while it is true that you will always assume a certain amount of hostility, just taking it out on the first person that speaks is absurd.  

If, for example, there really was a rabid mob crying for Price’s blood, then why wouldn’t she unload her ‘emotional courtesan’ spiel on them and not someone that as objectively as possible was being inoffensive if not a bit tone deaf to her mood? The self-fulfilling remedy that he “was mansplaining” as justification for her very rude tirade absolutely does not address that his only offense was again, speaking to a very neutral point.

What is worse, this has become a matter of someone being fired over her gender rather than the truth of the matter, which is that she was just an asshole.  People are canceled, rightly, from minority groups all the time.  If Kanye West flew off the handle on someone, I wouldn’t rush to defend the ‘slavery is a choice” dude even if it is good to have black men in the spotlight.  Cut the string and let them drown under the undertow of their own shit, as far as I am concerned.

Arguing that systemic oppression mandates random aggression is not appropriate.  Certainly it explains why it happens, but as we all have our own independent dignities then you cannot justify a random attack as one that was “deserved.” Let us remove from the discourse that Deroir was a person affiliated with GW2 and leave it simply at a person says something that a person at a public forum doesn’t like.  Because, private or not, twitter is public and social media...  And that person then starts shouting at them for being an asshole, in what way is that permissible or excusable?

It isn’t.  The company was right to fire her, not because of “capitalism” or “corporatism” but because she acted out of line.  If anything, many of us have learned there is a higher burden against us for the fact we are of a protected class, yet that is not an excuse not to aspire and to strive.  Female developers are pretty undervalued and underrepresented in the gaming industry, so why would she throw away her chance like that?

If you argue, “well she doesn’t have the responsibility of putting on for anyone else other than herself,” then you immediately invalidate the need to protect her.  Being a woman is not the same as being a representative of what women can do. Margaret Thatcher and Joan Rivers are not hailed as feminist icons for a reason.

Now the “gatekeeping asshole” part comes up when you get into the nitty gritty of what Fries, who was also fired (and as far as I know identifies as a male), added to the conversation:

“Here’s a bit of insight that I legitimately hope he reflects on: she never asked for his feedback. These are our private social media accounts — imagine you’re an astronomer and you start sharing some things you’ve learned in the last few months since you began a research project observing Saturn, only to have observation techniques explained to you by a layman ... Jessica is great at her job and deserves to be treated with respect.”

The sentiment doesn’t hold water for quite a few reasons, so let’s deconstruct those because that’s what this post is about.

First, we’ve already touched on “these are private social media accounts.”  Yes, we know they are “off the clock,” but they are discussing their job all the same.

The example of an astronomer also really sets the pace for what is to follow though. Is a game developer like an astronomer?  A person that more or less puts down the tracks that players work through? I don’t think the requirements between the two are remotely similar, but let’s move beyond that and say, an astro-physicist like Neil deGrasse Tyson decides to get into a conversation with some people at a local pub!

Neil is a little miffed about research on Saturn’s observation and one of the pub goers chimes in that maybe it’d help if they used some of the techniques learned in deep sea exploration to observe Saturn.  

Immediately, Neil says “Thanks for the non-answer, my dude” and then returns to say “And by the way, you colonizing piece of shit, I work at the Rose Center of Earth and I know than you ever possibly could, so next time you open your mouth remember that I know more than you ever will because I’ve been doing this a lot longer than you, shithead. I’m not your emotional porchmonkey.”

I mean...

I assume you’re going to get a tap from someone about how that wasn’t okay to say? Now even if there were a lot of people getting boisterous, why pick that person out? Even if this is your “go in moment” why pick a person that’s inoffensive?  Because you have something to prove.  And well, the company has something to prove as well: it isn’t going to allow its image to be tarnished.

But at the heart of it, is this concept that the people she discussed this with are the knuckle dragging laymen incapable of understanding the Promethean wonder that is game development.  If that is the case, then why discuss it at all?  The questions continue to pile and the explanations became weaker.

In the end, I don’t like ArenaNet but I also think Reddit is a disgusting pit of scumbag racists, sexists, and shitlords.  That being said, it really sucks that both of these companies had an easy pass to drop two people that were clearly negative elements to their environments.  

This isn’t a hill worth dying on.  Hell, this isn’t even a hill worth stopping and getting a picture of.  Because at the end of the day?

Jessica Price isn’t right. 

[neni-has-ascended]

Any thoughts on the new SU episodes from two weeks ago?

So, in general I was very pleased by how the decided to handle this storyline. In general it wasn’t quite as explosive as I would have hoped, but nevertheless very satisfying. That doesn’t mean it was flawless, of course (what ever ist? I do think there’s quite a few things that could have been executed much better) but it did avoid quite a few terribly annoying tropes while playing into a lot far more pleasant ones.

I’m taking the more detailed view of mine under the cut, to avoid spoiling latecomers!

SPOILERS START HERE

Now we’re only falling apart:

I’m glad the fantheory that Sapphire was gonna betray the CG turned out to be bullshit. It would have been terribly out of character for her to betray her friends and love over something that a person who, for all intents and purposes, is already dead did. Now, running away and crying over it? That I can get. 

What needs to be understood about Sapphire as a person is that she doesn’t just hate the Unknown; she is terrified of it. Thanks to her futurevision, there has almost never been a time in Sapphire’s life when she’s felt like she couldn’t guess the correct course of action in any given situation, or when she didn’t have an idea of what was going to happen. Even Steven’s character development throwing off her calculations wasn’t so bad as that she was completely blindsighted. The one other time this has happened before was when she hooked up with  Ruby and then she had, well, the fact that  at least it led to Ruby and her saving one another to comfort her. Here? She must feel like shes done everything right in a Visual Novel game and yet the script STILL somehow tossed her into the worst possible ending route. I’d ragequit too! 

As for the revelations regarding Pink: They were exactly what I already assumed from the moment of the twist. I knew this was probably exactly as it happened. Pink was naive to what it  meant to colonize a planet, and when she figured out she got sick in the stomach from realizing what’s going to be lost by the end of it. And of course, her sisters didn’t listen, because they’re Blue and Yellow and Blue and Yellow don’t listen to anything that doesn’t align with “the old order”(TM).That Rose Quarz as such, design and all, was Pearl’s idea, surprised me positively. I really like that detail. It shows that Pearl had so much creative potential right from her creation that was being squandered by her assigned role as a servant and only goes to show how flawed the Diamond’s hierarchy of thinking living minds of any sort could be forced into specific castes is. Pink being a little *too* excited at the prospect of fusing with Pearl (or any gems in general) was pretty cute too. She really just wanted to enjoy life. I am starting to feel like each Diamond represents one aspect of the mind; Yellow is cold logic, Blue is emotion and Pink is passion (which can lead into love). Makes me wonder what White is. 

What’s Your Problem

I’ll admit, I was faked out at first. I genuinely thought  season 1 Amethyst was suddenly back at it again, just not caring about the consequences of her actions. When I realized this was actually her slightly misguided attempts to keep Steven from destroying himself over the fiasco his mother caused, I was very positively surprised. Steven really said it best: Amethyst and Steven are the two Crystal Gems who have grown the most as people thanks to overcoming the questions regarding their places in the world. Also, Steven being so incredibly insistent about playing therapist for her kinda reminds me of how I can be with my friends as well, ahaha- Actually, my friends are often like Amethyst in this episode too.

The Question

A RUBY EPISODE YES YES YES YES-

Honestly, I hope that now that Ruby and Sapphire are married and have that to validify their bond aside from their fusion, we’ll see more episodes with them acting independently. As much as I like them as a unit in Garnet, I love them as individual characters as well, especially in how they bounce off each other, something usually only see when Garnet struggles with herself briefly. (Still wanna see them play Meat Beat Mania against one another, and see if that’d lead to the same disaster as when they played it as Garnet-) 

Ruby was adorable in this episode. Charlene Yi may not be a good singer (sorry-) but she is an amazing actress, who I always love to see in anything, no matter what, when she just nails this flaming little ball of nervous badassery whenever she’s on screen. Hope Sapphire ends up sharing her newfound love for comics. Wouldn’t it be cool to see Garnet argue with herself over ships in the background of an episode sometime?

My only complaint is that the proposal could have been an episode all on its own. I would have loved to see more of Ruby and Sapphire deal with coming to terms with the fact that their fusion can’t always be 100% stable and that’s okay and doesn’t make then any less of an amazing couple and team. Doesn’t change the fact that the proposal was cute as heck. Like, I swear, Ruby is a million times better at proposing than me. When I proposed I just ended up flipping the table over my plans halfway through and throwing the ring at him like a moron-

Made of Honor

Should have been a Two Parter. At least. Like, goddamn, this was way too important a plot point to just throw it out in a single 10 minutes segment, you guys! This just continues to show the problems with the Steven Bomb format. This thing needed to end on a climax after 5 eps, right? Not sure if that’s how it was planned, probably not, but that’s what it felt like. There should have been more of a storyline with Bismuth running of and trying to figure out stuff, kinda like Ruby. Heck, maybe those things should have overlapped somehow, I wouldn’t be able to come up with anything brilliant off the top of my head. However, Steven should have had to invest way more effort  into patching things up with Bis’. Bis’ just learned that her entire style of life was built on a lie. I would have been interesting to see her just go into a state where she randomly starts building spires, trying to fulfill her purpose again in utter defeat, until Steven snaps her out of it. That would have conveyed things a bit better. 

I have no problem with Bismuth rejoining the team. She saw that her plan of assassinating key figures in the enemy forces only lead to the entire rebel army basically being nuked.That definitely was enough to shock her out of her genocidal intentions. So yes, I do accept that explanation. In the end she was just as naive as Pink, but in a different way.

Reunited

Let me get out of the way that the first half was all kinds of amazing for one single reason:It had a marriage scene that a) Didn’t come at the tailend of the story and b)Didn’t involve pain and disaster for everyone involved! I’m so sick of marriages in media only being used either as elements of an epilogue (”Happily ever after!”) or as a source of drama. As if working relationships were boring or something. They’re so interesting, especially when written right! Totally ignoring the gay aspect of it all (which is a great thing all in of itself), this is one of the best marriages I’ve seen on TV period! No arranged marriages, no annoying love triangles, no jackass suddenly bursting in going “I OBJECT TO THIS UNION” no bride suddenly bursting into tears because everything is horrible, no “And they lived happily ever after SHOW OVER” BS. Just a proper, nice step in the development of two characters. Also, Garnet’s dress is friggin’ gorgeous

The second half is where the special loses me a bit. Not with the script, that one is pretty great. Aside from once again relegating Peridot to comic relief, that is- Seriously, she can’t even get to use a single attack drone? Tch. Cheep. She has actual skills, you guys! Don’t treat her like a Magikarp! User her assets! 

What lost me was the art direction and animation. While there was a lot of beautiful animation, especially on Blue Diamond, there was also plenty of derp, slow scenes, awkwardly choreographed battle moves... And the way Stephen using his telepathy to resolve the battle was portrayed visually was just very uninspired. It made the characters’ movements look so awkward. I wish they’d invited Horikoshi back in for this scene, because he managed similar scenes back in “Mindful Education” way better. Oh well... All in all, the art direction of that specific scenes just left me deeply underwhelmed.

All in all, however, this has been a very nice storyline so far. Can’t wait for the pay-off!

[smashmusicideas]

June 7: Going through the Smash E3 Trailers

Well, the title says it all. How to best predict or understand what we might see on Tuesday? Look at the history. I should note I’ll be ignoring Melee, as the nature of how information on it came out (and how people reliably accessed it) makes it more of an outlier.

E3 2005: A new Super Smash Bros. game for the Wii, then-called Revolution, is announced.

E3 2006: The first trailer for what is now named Super Smash Bros. Brawl releases.

Veterans: Mario, Link, Pikachu, and Kirby - four of the five main Smash fighters. Samus is also shown, albeit in a way that doesn’t confirm her inclusion in her classic form.

Meta Knight (Newcomer): One of the most popular characters requested, Meta Knight follows Peach as the first newcomer revealed and part of a franchise already represented. You can also argue his placement references his (and the Halberd‘s) involvement in “The Subspace Emissary.”

Pit (Newcomer): Another highly requested character, filling the Ice Climbers’ role as an iconic retro hero. Notably, he also sports a drastic redesign.

Zero Suit Samus (Newcomer): ZSS was probably never anyone’s most wanted character. However, her inclusion is necessary; she obliquely represents the new Final Smash mechanic.

Wario (Newcomer): Outside of Sonic, Wario probably was the most wanted character - but fans assumed he would use his classic costume. This shows he will be fighting as a wildly new fighter, one who represents a sub-series that started after the release of Melee.

Snake (Newcomer): Shocking everyone, the last reveal is of, for the first time ever, a third party character into the battle, and one no one would have rightly expected. Snake’s inclusion sparks a change in the Smash community where previously laughable, mocked suggestions can “potentially” be plausible.

Alongside characters, we also see new, unnamed stages: Battlefield, Halberd, Castle Siege, Pokémon Stadium 2, Skyworld, Mario Circuit (Brawl), and Yoshi's Island (Brawl) (Shadow Moses Island would be revealed in accompanying screenshots). A Nintendog hints at the new Assist Trophy item. And we see incredibly “super attacks,” later dubbed Final Smashes, which fighters can acquire by collecting a ball with the Smash logo.

E for All, 2007: While not part of E3, this is the period in which the public is allowed to play a demo for Brawl, featuring Sonic the Hedgehog - who had been revealed only eleven days prior. As for E3 itself, 2007 has a fifteen second video revealing only Donkey Kong. I’m not going to highlight it here for space.

E3 2011: A new Smash Bros. game is announced, which will appear on both Nintendo 3DS and Wii U.

E3 2013: The first trailer and sizable accompanying information for what is now named the collective Super Smash Bros. for Nintendo 3DS & Wii U are released during a Nintendo Direct.

Veterans: Mario, Link, Samus, Kirby, Fox, Pit, Donkey Kong, Pikachu, and Bowser.

Villager (Newcomer): while Villager’s chances and popularity were debated and debatable, Animal Crossing is a huge franchise for Nintendo. Using him to almost literally lead off the cast makes sense.

Mega Man (Newcomer): A new precedent is set: unlike with Brawl, newcomers to Smash For (excluding clones) were given individual trailers. Having Mega Man’s be the first makes sense; he was possibly the most requested guest fighter after Sonic.

Wii Fit Trainer (Newcomer): Unlike the other newcomers, Wii Fit Trainer - the game’s new surprising, out of nowhere fighter - is now revealed in the Direct itself but on the show after the fact. Her reveal comes at a demonstration in which Sakurai plays a match, and before a video of him discussing the game’s ideas is released.

Altogether, we see extensive information from those trailers. New stages are later revealed to be Battlefield, 3D Land, Gerudo Valley, Spirit Train, Skyloft, Arena Ferox, Living Room, Boxing Ring, Town and City, Wii Fit Studio, and Wily Castle. Of noteworthy shots, one is of a jungle-esque stage, and the other is a platform-less version of Battlefield; in an April 2014 Smash-centered Direct these would be revealed as part of Smash Run and an Omega Form, respectively. Finally, one CGI scene shows Mario followed by five other fighters on Battlefield, arguably hinting at the Wii U version’s Eight-Player Smash mode.

E3 2014: Attention ahoy. You’ll note that this isn’t a trailer; instead of taking up one part of the Direct, Smash bookends Nintendo’s (rather good) showing.

Mii Fighter (Newcomer): The Miis were no one’s favorite choice for a character, but they excite because they introduce to the series the ability to actually customize your own fighters - a godsend in a series beloved and notorious for how wide its breadth of inspiration reaches. This also dovetails with the end of the show, in which Palutena, the newcomer and only other fighter whose special attacks vary wildly like them, closes out the event.

Pac-Man (Newcomer): Pac-Man is unveiled at a private showroom after a massive Smash Bros. invitational tournament, one in which sixteen competitive fighters play on a build which would later be available to E3 attendees. The invitational itself provides some information that had been revealed and clarifies other points, from how certain Assist Trophies function to the utility of different items.

E3 2015: While Nintendo does not feature Smash in any capacity during its Direct and only minimally during its post-show “Treehouse Live at E3″ segments, they announce and release a wealth of downloadable content for Smash For. Lucas, announced months prior, is released alongside fellow veteran Roy and newcomer Ryu, from Street Fighter.

So...what can we take from this?

Well, I think it says a few things. Mostly, the newcomers shown off will be fairly big in terms of fame and popularity. I know that seems insultingly obvious, but it’s true. A third party fighter especially seems likely; if the game really is coming out this year, it makes sense to show any and all they can. Like, I feel like if Ridley is coming to Smash, showing him off here seems the smartest, given his colossal popularity, instead of on the side or as an unlockable fighter.

I think it’s also interesting how some are chosen. Of all the newcomers, only three - Meta Knight, Zero Suit Samus, and Palutena - came from prior series. And of those, Meta Knight’s the only one whose entire design isn’t tied to a mechanic introduced in that game. This isn’t to say they’re not going to appear here at all, just that most likely we may see new series represented.

Those two fighters lead me to something else: there will very likely be mechanics, items, powers, or modes the trailers will obliquely show or reference without explicitly saying. I do suspect that those 2005 and 2013 trailers deliberately hinted at the story mode and Eight-Player Smash, respectively. So while most crazy theorizing will be just that, maybe you will stumble upon or uncover something that’ll turn out huge.

However, this also says we should not put all our stock in only this showing. In an interview today with the Hollywood Reporter, Bill Trinen admitted that they will be keeping some Smash surprises for after the event. It shouldn’t surprise anyone; this series has never been one to show all its cards. So be excited, hope for more stuff, but also remember that this won’t be the be-all and end-all of this new iteration. All of these videos only prove how no matter how much information we get, so much can, and will, be hidden.

Also, as a minor point, it’s likely that Smash may not be relegated to just one section of the event. I suspect it’ll both start and end it, the way it was in 2014. As important as this game is for Nintendo, they have other stuff to show. Pokémon Let’s Go is a big deal, there’s potentially Fire Emblem for Switch (and other announced games in development), there’s the increasingly inevitable announcement of Fortnite; they may have a lot on their plate (one rumor says it might be upwards of forty-five minutes - which is apparently about twice as long as the fairly packed one last year).

But finally, just remember that all of these are nothing more than precedents and commonalities. A lot of Sakurai’s general directions here make sense, but we don’t know if he’ll be using the same kind of character trailers the last game(s) did or going back to the Brawl “general stuff” kind of trailer, or something entirely different.

(Link to my writings on Smash Bros for Nintendo Switch)