#worth it though because it REALLY helps me to remember stuff
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liquidstar · 11 months ago
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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dduane · 15 days ago
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I have been trying to write fic (well, smut) set in a world where certain things are slightly different to serve the fic's plot.
However, each time I try I have run into a problem: my head insists I need to justify the changes - I need to know comprehensive details about how the world works so I can ensure everything is consistent and not too f'd up.
So I get bogged down, and don't write a word. What do?
In your position, I’d sit down and write myself a bible.
This is how I did my prep for Barbie: Fairytopia.* And how I’ve done it for various works of fic presently on AO3… and how I’m doing it right now for the new Sherlock Holmes and the Giant Rats of Sumatra III project. I was taught this art by my animation story editors at Hanna-Barbera, and it’s stood me in good stead. (Peter and I pulled down our first miniseries assignment from a company that told us “we gave great bible.” And that was true.) 😄
When I say “bible” I don’t necessarily mean something that thick! (Though some of mine have been pretty hefty, with one TV project’s bible running more than a hundred pages… because I knew I had skeptical and underinformed TV execs to convince about something historical.) For the kind of purpose we’re describing here, your prep bible could be quite short: maybe looking like a bullet-pointed “shopping list”, five or ten pages long. It can be just as long or short as it needs to be to cover all your salient points.
The idea is simply to put down, in concrete form, a list of the main “different things” you need to know and remember about your alternate universe when you’re working in it. This is where you do your justification work, in as much or as little detail as you need to convince yourself you’ve got the necessary bases covered. The virtual “stage manager” who sits at the back of the theater of the Writing Department in your mind, judging when things are right, will be your guide here, and will advise you as to when you’ve got enough and it’s time to stop. And once this stuff is down on the page, you’ll be a position to judge critically whether everything makes enough sense to work with, and slots together correctly.
This is also a bit like (for the prose part of a project) outlining, in that it’s incredibly freeing. Once you’ve got this background nailed down, you know you can safely turn your attention away from it and get down to the serious business: drama, and the character interactions that express it. (And inevitably as you’re doing the bible writing, you start getting ideas for how the substrate you’re laying down is going to affect the conflicts between and among the characters. The bible stage can be incredibly fruitful this way.)
It would be facile to describe the bibling process as “getting the easy part over with first”. Because sometimes it’s not easy! But it’s worth doing first, because having done this first relieves you of the ongoing anxiety caused by knowing you may have to keep inventing or rationalizing stuff on the fly. (Which can produce the kind of micro-blocks that a writer can generally really do without.) …Not that you’re not going to be inventing things on the fly anyway: that’s a normal part of the writing process. But the biggest and most obvious issues will have been handled already, and you’ll know they have; which is always a weight off one’s mind. And the fewer of those weights you have loading you down, when you’re in the midst of the labor of composition, the better.
Anyway, give it a shot and see how it works for you. And then you can, like the rest of us smut writers, get on to the really pressing business: making sure you haven’t lost track of where all the characters’ arms and legs (and things) are when you’re writing those hot steamy sex scenes. 😏
Hope this helps!
*ETA: My remit on this job did include creating a bible for them. But I write a rough-draft one for myself first, including various meta that I needed but they didn't.
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anonymousewrites · 4 months ago
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A Not-So-Disastrous Romance (Book 2) Chapter Sixteen
Saiki Kusuo x Reader
Chapter Sixteen: Teruhashi's Tears and Rifuta's Crush
Summary: Teruhashi comes over and interrupts Saiki's New Year, but somehow she isn't the worst guest that comes. Also, (Y/N)'s hypothesis is spot-on about Rifuta.
            Mr. and Mrs. Saiki laughed as (Y/N) told them about one of the many (unfortunate) adventures they had been on with Saiki—this time a tale of the karaoke party where Saiki had to end up performing. Ordinarily, he wouldn’t want his parents to know he’d done something so public since it would encourage them to bother him to do stupid stuff in front of people, but it was a fond memory since (Y/N) had been there, taken most of the attention, and made the entire thing worth it. So, he let (Y/N) continue as they beamed when they remembered dancing around and pretended to do it again. All-in-all, this was turning out to be a perfect New Year’s Day.
            Alright, I’ve got the plan! I casually tell him Happy New Year, and then when I mention the festival, he’ll want to come along!
            Saiki’s mood darkened. Of course Teruhashi was already here to bother him on a lovely day. So, to stop her from interrupting, he grabbed onto the doorbell of his house with his psychic abilities and smothered the sound of it.
            There. No ruining my day.
            “Hey, can I help you?”
            Saiki jerked as he heard a voice speaking to Teruhashi. He hadn’t heard any other thoughts approaching, and the voice—
            Him!
            “What’s wrong, Kusuo?” asked (Y/N), noticing Saiki’s tiny change in mood.
            There was a knock at the door, and Mrs. Saiki stood. She peered out the window and beamed.
            “It’s Kusuke and Kokomi!” she said. “What a lovely surprise.”
            Oh, that explains his mood, thought (Y/N), smothering a little chuckle. Saiki saw their amusement and scowled—though there was no real malice. (Y/N) chuckled and patted his hand. “We’ll deal with it.”
            “Don’t let them in,” said Saiki as his mom headed to the door, but she was already opening the door.
            “Welcome in!” she said, beaming. “Oh, Kusuke, you’re home!”
            “Mom, it’s been a while,” said Kusuke, smiling.
            “Happy New Year,” greeted Teruhashi politely. She saw (Y/N) and started slightly. “Oh, (Y/N). You’re here?”
            Fortunately for Teruhashi, there was no annoyance at seeing them. They were friends, and that friendship meant Teruhashi’s inevitable jealousy at not getting Saiki alone was dampened. (And that was fortunate for Teruhashi because bad thoughts about (Y/N) meant getting onto Saiki’s bad side).
            “My parents are out of town on a work trip,” said (Y/N), smiling. “The Saikis were nice enough to invite me over.”
            That was the complete truth, they merely left out that Mrs. Saiki had also rambled about how “if (Y/N)’s family wasn’t going to take care of them as a family, then they were going to be part of the Saiki family, and Kusuo should get a move on and make sure they never leave because they’re just too sweet and—” (and so on and so forth).
            “When are your parents actually at the house?” said Saiki.
            (Y/N) shrugged. They were pretty much used to living independently at this point.
            “Wait, do you two know each other?” said Mr. Saiki, looking between Teruhashi and Kusuke.
            “She was ringing the doorbell, so I brought her in,” said Kusuke. His intelligence had just known it would irritate Saiki.
            “The doorbell?” said Mr. Saiki.
            “Oh, my, I’m so sorry, I didn’t hear it!” said Mrs. Saiki.
            (Y/N) raised an eyebrow at Saiki. He looked away, and they tutted.
            This is a huge revelation! I had no idea Saiki had an older brother! thought Teruhashi. But I don’t really like his type…Speaking of siblings “Is Kuriko here today?”
            “What?” said Saiki’s parents.
            Oh, right. Saiki had forgotten about his feminine name. I pretended to by my own sister, who doesn’t exist. I have to let them know.
            “Kuriko?” said Mrs. Saiki, frowning.
            “Oh, right, kuriko!” Mr. Saiki grabbed something from the kitchen—literal kuriko. “Here is kuriko for you.”
            That’s kuri chestnut paste.
            “No, I mean Saiki’s sister,” said Teruhashi. She looked at (Y/N). “You met her.”
            “Right,” said (Y/N), smiling. “Isn’t it amazing how similar she and Kusuo look? Especially since their brother—”
            “You can call me Kusuke,” said Kusuke.
            “No.” Saiki didn’t need him being familiar or friendly with his partner.
            “—looks so different with the blonde hair. Kuriko and Kusuo both have pink,” said (Y/N).
            “That’s true,” said Teruhashi, smiling.
            Good clue, thought Saiki. Hopefully his parents would get the hint.
            “I don’t know any Kur—Mm!”
            Kusuke shoved the kuri chestnut paste into his dad’s mouth and smiled. “Oh, of course! Our sister, Kuriko.” Of course the genius had figured the plot out. “She’s abroad right now, like I was. You know her?”
            “Oh, really?” said Mr. Saiki, still a little confused but starting to get it.
            “I do,” said Teruhashi.
            Unbelievable, thought Saiki.
            “Which country did she go to?” asked Teruhashi.
            “Paraguay,” said Mr. Saiki.
            “Paraguay?” said Teruhashi, amazed.
            “Shut up,” said Saiki to Mr. Saiki.
            “Kusuo, I have a present for you!” said Kusuke, successfully changing the subject (not that a “gift” from Kusuke would be much better than the present conversation). “I have one for you, too, (Y/N)!” He held up envelopes.
            Never mind, this is good. Saiki could see the money inside with his x-ray vision.
            “Oh, I can’t accept that,” said (Y/N), waving their hands.
            Teruhashi glanced between (Y/N) and the envelope. Saiki’s brother prepared a gift for them? That’s very close…
            “Well, you are Kusuo’s pa—”
            “Pal!” interrupted (Y/N) before Kusuke could blurt out the word “partner.” Embarrassed, they took the enveloped and bowed. “Thank you!”
            Close one… (Y/N) and Saiki breathed a sigh of relief.
            We need to get out of here, thought Saiki. He tapped (Y/N) on the shoulder and gestured to the door.
            They nodded and grabbed their coat—pink with hearts embroidered on the pockets. They headed towards the door, and Saiki pulled on his boots.
            “We should invite Kokomi,” whispered (Y/N).
            “No,” said Saiki. He wanted a nice moment with (Y/N).
            “She and Kusuke with each other is going to be a problem,” pointed out (Y/N).
            Saiki hated they were right. “Fine, but then we go out the two of us.”
            “Of course,” said (Y/N), kissing Saiki’s cheek before going back to the living room to invite Kokomi.
            Saiki let out a little sigh. Oh, wow. He’d never get tired of their affection.
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            This is the worst-case scenario. Saiki glared ahead of himself as Kusuke walked through the crowd with them.
            Why is his brother tagging along? Teruhashi had deflated. With (Y/N) at least that was a friend and she could still have a moment with Saiki—Not happening—but with Kusuke, that was going to be weird.
            I should have known Kusuke would tag along, thought (Y/N). The genius had known what would annoy Saiki.
            I need to get out of here with (Y/N), decided Saiki. Risking Teruhashi and Kusuke interacting was fine—he was too tired to care.
            “By the way, do you have a crush on Kusuo?” said Kusuke, turning around with an “innocent” smile. He looked directly at Teruhashi.
            Her face promptly turned several shades of red, and she coughed. “You shouldn’t embarrass Saiki like that!” she said nervously. “And we’re just friends! It’s nothing more!”
            “Oh, good,” said Kusuke.
            He knows she’s lying. (Y/N) and Saiki exchanged a worried glance.
            I knew I wouldn’t like him, thought Teruhashi.
            “I mean, you obviously don’t have anything in common,” said Kusuke, still with that “innocent” smile. “You’re different as night and day.”
            “What?” said Teruhashi. “Saiki and I have plenty—”
            “What are you saying?” Kusuke’s smile had dropped, and he looked at her coldly.
            “What?” said Teruhashi.
            “I can see through you. You’re not worthy of Kusuo,” said Kusuke.
            Teruhashi froze. No one had ever spoken to her like that.
            “You thought you could fool me?” said Kusuke. “Well, it’s to be expected. You probably have been pampered your whole life because of your looks. But Kusuo is on a different level.”
            “Hey!” said (Y/N), glaring at him. “Leave Kokomi alone!” Even if they knew Teruhashi didn’t have a chance with Saiki, Kusuke was just being mean.
            I realize now why I don’t like this guy, thought Teruhashi, staring at Kusuke with wide, shocked eyes. He hasn’t gasped even once since meeting me. There’s never been anyone who wasn’t interested in me.
            “Come on, Kokomi. Let’s leave this jerk,” said (Y/N), taking Teruhashi’s hand. Kusuke had been unnecessarily cruel, and (Y/N) wasn’t going to stand around while their friend was hurt.
            “Don’t look at me like that, Kusuo,” said Kusuke as Saiki glared. “I was just teasing her. We both know only one person is worthy of you, and that’s because they aren’t shallow and have some real spirit! They stand up to everyone! That’s some real power against a monster like you.”
            Saiki ignored the insults directed at him and the compliments towards (Y/N). (He wasn’t sure whether to be pleased that his entire family liked (Y/N) or irritated that even his annoying brother liked them).
            “Kokomi?” said (Y/N), gazing at their friend in worry. They still held her hand.
            I’ve never felt such shame. I won’t forgive him! declared Teruhashi. She sniffled, and a tear fell. “I—I never meant to—”
            “Sorry, I know you’re a talented actress, too,” said Kusuke, looking past the crying. But everyone else was glaring at him as the crowd noticed the perfect pretty girl crying. “What’s going on? These people are surrounding us.”
            “They’re surrounding you. Not us,” said Saiki, taking (Y/N)’s hand and pulling them back as the crowd advanced on Kusuke.
            My secret pretty girl technique, Angel Tears! thought Teruhashi.
            “Who do you think you are?!” shouted the crowd. “You made Teruhashi cry!” They rushed Kusuke.
            “Are these all her boyfriends?” he remarked.
            “We’ll bash your head in!” cried the crowd.
            “Kusuo? (Y/N)?” Kusuke sweat-dropped and looked at them.
            “What do you want us to do?” said Saiki, deadpan.
            “Get him!” The crowd jumped onto Kusuke.
            “Wow, he was defeated by Kokomi,” said (Y/N), impressed.
            “And there’s a perfect distraction.” Saiki pulled (Y/N) through the crowd as Teruhashi watched her ��hard work” proudly.
            “Shouldn’t we be worried about Kusuke?” said (Y/N), looking back at the crowd.
            “He’ll be fine. He always has a plan,” said Saiki.
            “Fair enough,” chuckled (Y/N). “And he does deserve a little bit of fear for being so mean.”
            Saiki smirked. He agreed. And, now, as he pulled (Y/N) far away from Teruhashi and her fans, he could really enjoy the New Year Festival. With (Y/N) and only (Y/N).
            “We should go on the Ferris Wheel,” said (Y/N) excitedly, squeezing his hand.
            “Okay.” Anything they wanted, they were getting.
            And so, he let them lead him to the line and watched them grin out the window of the compartment all the way to the top. (Y/N) smiled as they saw the city spread out before them, all the people small and faraway.
            “So pretty,” they said, smiling.
            “Very,” agreed Saiki. But he wasn’t looking at the view. No, he was looking at the smile on (Y/N)’s face. And, unable to help himself—why would he when they looked so handsome in the golden light of the sun—he leaned and kissed their cheek.
            (Y/N)’s cheeks warmed, they turned towards him, and, before he could pull back, (Y/N) kissed him. Saiki happily kissed back.
            A perfect New Years.
            What could be better than this?
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            “We have a problem,” said Saiki as the lunch bell rang.
            “Huh?” said (Y/N). “Are you alright?”
            “Rifuta is going to try to confess to me,” said Saiki.
            “Uh-oh,” said (Y/N). They had forgotten about Rifuta developing a crush on Saiki (though they also knew that Rifuta 100% also had a crush on Teruhashi and was a bit confused).
            “Let’s leave to eat lunch before she gets here,” said Saiki.
            “Got it,” said (Y/N), grabbing their bento box and following Saiki out. They took the long way around the school and headed to the yard. There were too many people around for Rifuta to confess, so that was good.
            “I’ve been using my telepathy to give her dreams so that she hates me, but it’s not working,” said Saiki.
            “She and Kokomi are very single-minded,” said (Y/N). They paused. “But I think that Rifuta is just a bit confused. Maybe if you get her to realize she’s head-over-heels for Kokomi more than she is for you, that’ll help?”
            “…She’d hate me for Teruhashi liking me, and then my reputation would be ruined,” said Saiki.
            “Fair point.” (Y/N) winced. They’d seen Kusuke get dragged away by people who were angry that Teruhashi was upset, and they didn’t want to see what would happen to Saiki if he upset Rifuta—it wouldn’t be as bad as upsetting Teruhashi, but it wasn’t preferable. “So what do we do?”
            “I don’t know,” said Saiki.
            “…What if we acted closer?” said (Y/N).
            Saiki looked at them. “What?”
            “If Rifuta thinks you’re dating someone, she’ll back off. She’s just competing with Teruhashi, not really interested in you, so it could help,” said (Y/N). They waved their hands. “I-It doesn’t have to be me so it’s not obvious we’re really dating, we can get Miko or something, but it’s just an idea—”
            “Let’s do it.” Saiki was desperate to get Rifuta off his back, and maybe being unavailable would explain his “unbelievable��� disinterest in Rifuta.
            “Okay, I’ll text Miko—”
            “No, you and me.”
            “Are you sure? If she really believes we’re dating, that’s another person finding out,” said (Y/N). “And it could get out that we’re dating—”
            “If it does, it does. It has to happen at some point,” said Saiki.
The blowback from Teruhashi and the craziness of people finding out would be troublesome, but if it meant just being himself with (Y/N), in public, then he was fine with it. (Y/N) and Saiki both knew their relationship as their business and no one else’s, but they supposed it would have to happen at some point.
            Plus, this could begin to get the idea of them dating into people’s heads so when it finally came out it made a sense. It eased people into it so they didn’t freak. (Honestly, it was fairly obvious to the audience that they liked one another, so why wouldn’t it be for people in the story?)
            “Okay,” said (Y/N). “Then we’ll act affectionate to get Rifuta to realize you’re not interested for a real reason.”
            Saiki nodded.
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            (Y/N) counted to ten as Saiki entered the lobby of the school to get his shoes. Rifuta was waiting for him, and he had walked right by her. Now it was their turn. They were a little giddy at the idea of being affectionate with Saiki in public. They weren’t a huge PDA person, and they didn’t care about people knowing they were dating—they didn’t act much differently than they had before except for being sweeter and kissing—but this was still fun.
            Alright. Here we go.
            “Kusuo!” (Y/N) smiled as they rounded the corner and walked up to Saiki. They took his hand. “Are you ready to go out?” They leaned in, their head on his shoulder.
            “What?” Rifuta couldn’t help but speak aloud as she stared at the sight. He’s got a partner?! Really? No way!
            “I am,” said Saiki, brushing their hair from their face affectionately. “Let’s go.”
            “Saiki! Is that your partner?” said Rifuta, getting right to it. Her hands were on her hips as she looked between the pair.
            Didn’t expect her to be so direct. I guess someone else is really finding out today.
            “I am,” said (Y/N), smiling.
            “Your Teruhashi’s friend and are dating him?” said Rifuta, hands on her hips.
            “Hm? What does Teruhashi have to do with who’s dating him?” said (Y/N), tilting their head in “confusion.”
            They don’t know Teruhashi likes him?! Oh, no! How will Teruhashi feel?!
            Saiki heard Rifuta’s thoughts and blinked. (Y/N)’s analysis of a suppressed crush on Teruhashi was correct.
            “W-Well, uh, doesn’t your friend know?” said Rifuta, trying to cover.
            “I think relationships are very private. Don’t you?” said (Y/N), smiling and friendly as ever.
            “I, uh, I guess—” Rifuta was growing confused by her worry for Teruhashi and how to react to (Y/N) still being sweet as usual. No thoughts of liking Saiki herself came to her mind—Saiki was pleased by that. I don’t feel jealousy, hate, or anything. Weird. I’m just confused. I guess I don’t like him after all?
            Looks like it went well, thought Saiki.
            But then why do I still feel so upset? Why does my stomach hurt? Why do I keep thinking about how Teruhashi will react to this? thought Rifuta.
            “Uh, oh, Kusuo, Kokomi’s coming,” said (Y/N), seeing a glow appearing at the end of the hall. “I don’t think we can risk her finding out.” Her crush was still so steady that the blowback to their friendship would be horrendous.
            Oh, no! Teruhashi is coming! She’ll see them together! I have to do something!
            What?
            Rifuta shoved (Y/N) and Saiki forward, and they stumbled into the storage closet. She slammed it closed behind them and stood in front.
            …Huh?
            I did not see that coming.
            “Oh, Imu!” said Teruhashi, spotting her friend. “Long time no see.”
            “Y-Yes,” said Rifuta, growing nervous.
            “What’s was that?” whispered (Y/N), looking at Saiki.
            “I don’t know.” He supported himself by his arms, but they were still incredibly close in the cramped closet. “Ask the girl who shoved us in here.”
            “Are you on your way home?” said Teruhashi, smiling.
            “Yes, I’ll be leaving soon, too,” said Rifuta. Why did I cover for them? Because she would be sad if she saw?
            “Let’s go home together!” Teruhashi grinned and linked her arm with Rifuta’s.
            Rifuta blushed, and her heart pounded. She’s so close! Wow! Shaking her head, she pulled away. No, no way! If you think everything is fine, you’re mistaken! She steeled herself and looked at Teruhashi. “Do you like Saiki, Teruhashi?” If she admits she likes him, I’ll open the door and show her! I’ll make you cry your eyes out!
            Saiki and (Y/N)’s eyes widened. If they were found like this and their relationship came out—Oh, boy. Teruhashi would be upset, and they’d be hunted down for the rest of their days.
            Nervously, Teruhashi blushed. “Y-yes. I’ve never really liked a boy before, so I’m not sure, but I think I do.”
            “Why? Was it love at first sight?” said Rifuta.
            “No. I was the opposite,” said Teruhashi. “At first, I didn’t like how he was never attracted to me. I was so angry with him that I couldn’t stop thinking about him.”
            I see. I get it now, thought Rifuta.
            I knew it was the idea of someone not treating her as a pretty thing to look at, thought (Y/N). Teruhashi needed to be valued as more than her looks, and Saiki was the first person to look at her without paying attention to her appearance, which was attractive to her.
            Teruhashi! I love you! Rifuta hugged Teruhashi suddenly.
            “Not what I expected,” murmured Saiki.
            “Huh?” said (Y/N).
            “She loves Teruhashi,” said Saiki. “You were right.”
            I’ll never beat her beauty and kindness! Rifuta held Teruhashi close.
            “What’s going on, Imu?” asked Teruhashi, confused.
            I’m so hopeless! I love her! Rifuta smiled with a wide smile.
            “I knew it,” asid (Y/N), smiling.
            “What’s the matter?” asked Teruhashi.
            I felt such anger because Saiki didn’t choose Teruhashi, but now I’m so relieved you weren’t taken from me. “I’m rooting for you!” said Rifuta. Even if she was lying a bit, she wanted Teruhashi to be in a fulfilling relationship. “I want you to be happy!”
            “What’s gotten into you?” asked Teruhashi, worried at the sudden change in attitude.
            “This is so much worse,” said Saiki.
            “It’s nothing. Let’s go home together,” said Rifuta.
            “She’s going to help Teruhashi,” groaned Saiki as Rifuta and Teruhashi walked away from the closet.
            “Uh-oh. I guess this backfired a bit?” said (Y/N), wincing. “Sorry. It was my idea.”
            Saiki shook his head. “It’s fine. Rifuta just had a realization. It had to happen at some point.”
            “Who else would be someone’s gay awakening?” laughed (Y/N) slightly. They reached for the door handle. “At least we can leave now and one less person has a crush on you. And we didn’t get found in here. That would have been a scandal.”
            “Scandalous, huh?” Saiki smirked slightly.
            (Y/N) looked at his expression. “Uh, Kusuo? You alright?”
            Saiki leaned in and kissed them. (Y/N) was surprised but kissed back—they weren’t saying no to a kiss from Saiki. One of his hands supporting himself went to their waist and pulled them closer. (Y/N)’s felt the pressure and smiled into the kiss. Their hands rose and tangled into his hair as he kissed them.
            When the passionate kiss ended, Saiki leaned his forehead against theirs. “That is scandalous.”
            (Y/N) looked at him, breathless. “When did you become a flirt?”
            Saiki just smiled, leaned back in, and kissed them.
            “We—” kiss “—have—” kiss “—to—” kiss “—go—” kiss “—home—” (Y/N) spoke between kisses.
            Effortlessly, Saiki teleported them and their belongings back to his house, all the while continuing to kiss them. “There. Let me kiss you.”
            (Y/N) laughed, pulled him in, and kissed him.
Taglist:
@elaemae
@painstakingly-juno
@characterreaderwriter
@melovepurple
@sleep-7372
@w0mank1sser
@geminigengar
@noodleryworld
@leonardo-dabitchy
@janezee12751275
@xenop0p
@ex160-blog1
@boogiemansbitch
@dmitrytherat
@yuriisclumsy
@sixxze
@constellationguy
@k03ume
@sweatyinternettrash
@paastaboi
@unorthodox-gob
@girlswhopanic
@h-i-g-h-w-a-y-t-o-h-e-l-l-l
@drowningfishy
@rinwho
@izzieg3987
@candylp
@jmclouds
@ittomain1
@justamina-blog
@newtscreatures347269
@digital-dumbass
@chronovala
@yappydoo
@mymomsdisappointment
@lvvcian
@kyliexreads
@b3bybunny
@sle3pyh3ad2
@snowy-violet
@jaguarthecat
@isaacdaknight
@newttheglue250
@thelameone101
@peqch-pie
@rai-xxx
@loverzxi
@s0ggyrats
@introvertathome
@pandaquick
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revelboo · 21 days ago
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Anyway your posts keep me sane while I have my mom in the hospital. Thank you for your writing 💕 can I request more of Steve? Whenever you are ready I love him so much 😂
Sure and I hope she’s doing okay
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Coin-Operated Boy Pt 3
Vehicons x Reader
• Can’t understand you. Can’t understand your kindness. Helping him even though there’s nothing in it for you. But it means so much to him, servos hesitantly brushing your arm as you tape the last tear and smile up at him. Like this is normal, helping someone you don’t even know with nothing to gain. Is this just an organic thing? Or just you? “That’s the best I can do, sorry,” you say. Apologizing that you hadn’t been able to completely help repair him. Like you think you didn’t do enough.
• Suddenly aware of the fact that he’s curled forward, head brushing yours and the tips of his servos grazing your arm, you back nervously back away. Reminding yourself that just because he’s docile right now doesn’t mean he’s safe. And his arm slowly lowers as his head tips to study your pitiful repair job. He’s not bleeding out whatever his glowing stuff is anymore, but that’s all you’d managed. “I can check and see if the coast is clear, if you want?” You ask and his head tips making you think he doesn’t understand the saying. Walking to the door, you push it open and look outside. Don’t see anyone around now. Whoever made him has to be looking for him, though. “I think you’re okay now. Do you remember how to open the garage door?” Watching as his head slowly dips in a nod, you relax. “For what it’s worth, I hope whoever hurt you doesn’t catch you.”
• Watches you head back up those stairs into the main building, leaving him to rest. Servos flexing, he swears he can still feel those soft, gentle hands on him. Venting, he reluctantly crawls to the bigger door and carefully pokes the little button, hearing something crunch under his servo, but the door slowly rises enough that he can awkwardly crawl out. Knows he’s still far too weak, but he can at least walk to the nearest energon mine for help. His self repair systems trying to deal with the damage now that he’s not losing so much energon. Thanks to you.
• When you open the door to the garage to check on your new friend, you’re not really surprised that he’s gone. It’s not like he’s some stray cat that you can just keep. He’s a giant, crazy advanced robot. And someone did that damage to him, someone you’d rather not deal with. Heading back inside to fix some dinner, you smile despite yourself, wishing Steve good luck wherever he is.
• No one believes him, but that’s not really surprising. They’re cloned soldiers. Expendable. So someone treating them with not only respect, but kindness? He gets it. Gets that the others doubt him. Grimacing as Knockout works on repairing him, he keeps thinking about you. And realizes that he wants to repay you somehow. There must be something he can do for you. What do little organics even like? Maybe some of the other Vehicons know?
Previous
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under-the-stars-au · 4 months ago
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How are you feeling now, Bon?
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Yeah don't worry, they're fine now, when your tummy is full you can't be mad, that's just science fact
________________
Okay ! Lots of stuff to say here ! There were some details I wasn't sure of about the lore of this mixed UT/ISAT universe, but recently I made myself a little memo of everything and I'm more sure of my stuff. So I made it clear in this one : Chara is here ! And they are here to help....maybe.
Siffrin thoughts and Chara's narration are kinda here at the same time...which must be super confusing to live honestly, but you can still see the difference. I will not develop here why Chara is with Siffrin instead of Frisk, but if you want a small explanation, their wishes mixed together
I personally think that there's a lot of ISAT stuff in this AU and not enough UT, so the next one (the one I really wanted to make for a while) will be more about UT, and it will be out...tomorrow ! Yep, I already started it before I decided to make that one first, so you'll have another answer really soon, whoo oh !
I hope you like this one for now though ! See you soon !
(Also did you notice the new brush I used this time ? I love it honestly, it looks super cool, I think I'll keep it)
_________________
DIALOGUES IN CASE YOU CAN'T READ MY HANDWRITING
1 :
Bonnie : Mh.........
2 :
Odile : Bonniface, I get that you are upset, but can you please be faster ? Even I don't walk that slow
Bonnie : I'm as fast as I can 'dile !...
3 :
Isabeau : Hey, Sif ? Sorry to bother ya but, huh... Could you talk to Bonbon ? I think they might need it...
Siffrin : Huh ? Why ? I'm not really the feelings person of the group
4 :
Isabeau : Listen buddy, I... I don't think I'm the good person to tell you about it. Just...talk to them, okay ? They'll tell you...eventually
Siffrin : Huh... Okay ? I'll go do that...
5 :
Mirabelle : Huh ? Why did we stop ? Siffrin ?
6 :
Siffrin : Heya Bonnie
Bonnie : ...Siffrin. What d'you want ?
7 :
Chara (internally): Oof, wow, such a sweet kid. They even "Siffried" you
Siffrin : It seems that you're still angry since you flee earlier, and that it's...kinda my fault ? I'm not sure to really understand, but huh, I'm sorry, for whatever happened. I didn't wanted to upset you.
8 :
Bonnie : Huh uh. Yeah, sure. I forgive you
Siffrin (internally) : It doesn't sound like they do though...
9 :
Chara (internally) : Stars, that kid sure is difficult ! Just continue okay, they are not worth it
Siffrin : ...
10 :
Siffrin : Hey Bonnie ?
Bonnie : Hum ?
Siffrin (internally) : No, no don't say that. They'll ALWAYS be worth it
11 :
Siffrin : What if I tell you that I still have a piece of Toriel's pie in my secret pockets. What d'you say ?
Siffrin (internally) : In every loop, every fun changes, you party will always be more important. If you have to proceed, it will be with them
12 :
Bonnie : ...Well. First, I say that it sounds super gross to keep pie in your pockets just like that
13 :
Bonnie : ...And then I say that I want it
14 :
Siffrin : There you go !
Bonnie : Thanks...
15 :
Siffrin (internally) : ...You know, it's nice to have new interactions with them. They almost became actual persons again, you even remember their names !
16 :
Bonnie : What ? WHAT ?! Why are you laughing ?! You makin' fun of me ?!!
17 :
Siffrin : No no, just thought you look like a bunny when you eat, a "Bonny" hehe. That's cute
Bonnie : GAASP. So you are makin' fun of me !
18 :
Bonnie : But huh, actually, I'm not mad at you somehow, guess it's because of the pie
Siffrin : Oh ? Really ?
Bonnie : Yeah, it's just that good
Siffrin : Huh, good to know
19 :
Bonnie : Yeah yeah, just go back to your place now. And stop being an idiot !
Siffrin (internally) : I guess they are okay now ?
Siffrin : Haha, okay okay
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live-laugh-legolas · 6 months ago
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FOR UR FELLOWSHIP REQUEST THING maybe the fellowship with an depressed reader? like how each of them would treat the reader (i wanted to go for su1c1d@l but idk if ur chill with it(ONLY IF U WANNA))
Remember that you are not alone so please reach out for help. There are hotlines to call/text if you are struggling, suicidal, or in a crisis
My messages are always open if you want to talk but I am no replacement for professional help and support of your loved ones
The fellowship x depressed!reader
Aragorn:
-He recognizes the signs quickly
-I imagine he’s had his bouts of depression
-He definitely takes a very gentle approach
-Offering a shoulder and an ear
-He’s kinda an unpaid and unlicensed therapist
-He gives lots of tips on how to keep going in your daily life
-For some people depression is kind of a way of life; you have to learn to live with it
Legolas:
-He doesn’t fully understand at first
-To elves, depression is really only experienced after loss
-So to have it chronically is a new concept to him
-He’s remorseful that you feel so low and he knows there isn’t much he can do
-But he will try
-He will force you to get up and out of bed, even if he has to throw you over his shoulder to get you some fresh air
-He will constantly point out little beautiful things to be grateful for; little joys
-Maybe it’s the smell of dawn or crunchy fall leaves
-Or maybe it’s him; he is very insistent that you would miss him most
Gimli:
-I literally love this dwarf so much; he would be such a cutie that you can’t help but smile at him
-Like he is so gentle and patient with you; which is saying something because dwarves are not patient beings
-He isn’t someone who will beat around the bush though; he will very bluntly tell you your worth and why he and everyone else needs and wants you around
-He gets you involved in anything he can
-Is it against your will? Maybe
-But I’ve found I sometimes end up feeling a little better and enjoy the time out even after I’ve bitched about it and my friend had to drag me out of the house by my hair
Boromir:
-Big brother mode is always active so he picks up on your subtle changes very fast
-Maybe even before you do
-He will tell you stuff like “even if you can’t, you must”
-Wether or not you find that helpful or not; just know he’s trying
-His experience with depression is seeing it with his soldiers
-And that’s the sort of thing he tells them so he just kinda hopes can be applied to you
-He is very action oriented; I think he may have a difficult time sympathizing with not feeling able to get up and do anything
-But damnit if he doesn’t try; he wants you to tell him everything so he can learn and be of better support
-He also gives the best hugs
Frodo:
-He is a very steady friend
-Like he’s not going anywhere; no matter how dark things look he’s still there with a torch
-He makes you go on walks like clockwork to give you some feeling of routine
-He always invites you over because if he can’t help he’s sure Bilbo can
-How can you be sad when talking to Bilbo?
-Well actually he talks a lot so maybe it’s a bit exhausting; but it’s a kind thought
Sam:
-So Sam wants to help so bad; the idea that he can’t fix it doesn’t sit well with him so he will keep trying
-He will help with tasks obviously because acts of service is his love language
-But I also imagine him trying to give comfort but not in the “let me hug you and you can cry on my shoulder way”
-More so in the “look at this photo of a piglet in rain-boots! You can’t be sad while looking at that!”
-Yes you can because that’s not how depression works but still; you put on a smile anyway because he’s just so adorable and he’s trying his best
-This may turn into a sort of “fake it till you make it” situation where eventually you may feel better from his antics
Merry:
-We know this hobbit likes to plan things and is always up for adventure with his friends
-And he’s basically Sherlock of the hobbits so you don’t have to say anything for him to read you like an open book
-He will set you a schedule and will hold you to it by joining you
-He’s not going to go easy on you ngl
-Not in a mean way; but he won’t give you a day to take a break and stay in bed
-Even if you have to half ass everything; you will be doing something
-“you don’t need to wash your hair but you do need to sit in this tub for at least 10 minutes”
-This can feel exhausting at the time and may make you snap at him sometimes but he’s determined because he loves you
-And sometimes tough love is the most helpful
Pippin:
-Can’t get out of bed?
-Don’t worry! Pippin won’t let you be lonely
-He won’t always drag you out of bed. Instead he will join you and talk your ear off
-He brings the “fun” to you
-With the hope that he will either annoy you so much you get up
-Or that his stories give you some level of intrigue to want to go out and see whatever it was he is talking about
Gandalf:
-This is a very old man, he’s seen depression in all states and forms
-He’s a quiet type of comfort
-He definitely says some vague poetic shit that isn’t necessarily helpful but it does have a meaningful lesson
-Offers his pipe
-He is also sort of they type that you are a little afraid to disobey
-Like if he tells you to get outside more; even if you don’t see him, he knows if you have or haven’t
——————————————————————————————————————————————————————
Idk how good this is. I personally do have depression so I know my own experiences with how it affects me, but it shows in different ways for everyone. In terms of comfort and support I’m not fully sure this does any justice, hopefully it’s a little comforting. I have a great support system but I’m notorious for being too stubborn to accept help. Don’t do that by the way, because eventually it will likely stop coming. Let your friends and family support you; it’s not out of pity; it’s because they care and want to help in anyway they can even if that just means checking to make sure you are alive each morning to let you know they are there.
Anyone can message me if they need someone to talk to. I’m no therapist or expert in any sense but I can be a friend :)
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dawndelion-winery · 1 year ago
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Thanks for the Flowers
You send them a little prank thank you text with flowers they never sent
Ft: Alhaitham, Arlechinno, Childe, Scaramouche, Wriothesley
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Alhaitham:
You thought it would be a funny prank to send him a stock image of flowers and a small thank you
"Glad you like them."
He smiles to himself, but then immediately deleted his message when he sees the attached image
That wasn't the bouquet he sent
His smile drops so fast because who exactly is sending you flowers apart from him?
"Throw those out, they aren't from me. Don't you like the one I sent more? I got your favourites, my love."
He gives the house a cursory scan the moment he steps in through the front door
It's only after you've given him his welcome home kiss and a hug that he starts looking for the bouquet for some trace of who the sender might be
At first he doesn't believe you when you say it's a prank because he wouldn't put it past you to just want to allay his worries
He'll come around though, and then he's annoyed
"That's childish and you know it, you can have my attention if you just ask for it."
Arlechinno:
This is her sign to publicly announce that you're with her because this sort of idiocy wouldn't be an issue if people knew you were spoken for
Initially chuckles to herself as she glares at the offending image
"Do you like them?"
Of course she's not telling you the weren't from her if you like them
The poor sucker who sent them to you deserves no credit anyway
If anything, they deserve her personal thanks for helping her gift you something!
Of course she needs to know their name and face to express her gratitude in person <33
In a totally genuine and non-threatening way (lie)
She ends up coming home late that day, having scared off any of your potential suitors just to be safe
"Had some unsavoury business come up, dearest, sorry to keep you waiting. Have you had dinner yet? No? Shall we dine together?"
She never brings it up though, so you sorta forget to ever tell her it was a joke
Childe:
At first he doesn't process that he didn't send you the flowers
It's not like he doesn't pay attention, but he has his subordinates send you so much stuff as he comes across it that it's really hard to keep track
For all he knows it might have been something he came across and spontaneously thought of you liking it
And your likes were pretty much needs to him
"Love you, my pookie <33"
And then he stows his phone away
Only to remember he hasn't gotten you any flowers that day
"My honey drumlet darling-kins, there doesn't happen to be a note attached to the flowers, is there?"
When you insist that no, there isn't, and you've checked thoroughly, he makes a mental note to look into anyone who's ever had a crush on you
For a friendly spar, of course!
He just needs to make sure his competition is even worth noting (they aren't)
He comes home, thoroughly disappointed that none of them could even hold their own against him - few even dared to try, scared shitless by the sudden appearance of a harbinger demanding they fight
Sweaty and tired, he's all over you, whining about his day and how everyone wants you and can't take a hint that you're so happy with him ("You are, aren't you? I'm your favourite.")
Of course you cave and tell him it was only a prank
He scowls at first, but then breaks out giggling as he buried his face in the crook of your neck
"It doesn't really matter because I think they're all scared of me anyway. Some of them took one look at me and blanched. Unlike you, of course; the sight of me excites you, doesn't it?"
Ah. There's your bastard ginger.
Scaramouche:
"Wrong number, I think you meant to text your side hoe."
Sends you the most unbothered replies
Is actually overthinking
He knows logically this is most likely a joke because he swears he has seen that bouquet somewhere on the internet when looking for flower arrangement inspiration
But what if it's just a really similar layout and someone actually did send it to you?
Horrible. He doesn't want to think about it
But of course he does anyway
Brings you flowers because he planned to sneakily replace the stranger's bouquet
Wriothesley:
"Honey, please tell me this is a joke."
Seething inside
Who in their right mind dared to covet you while you were happily dating him??
Don't even try evade his interrogation, he needs to know every detail
From the exact time the flowers were sent to the arrangement and paper quality
Don't mind him, it's just a small investigation he'll carry out in his free time
The sooner you come clean the better
Not that you'll go unpunished...but hey, confessing to your crimes must at least lighten the sentence, yeah?
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Taglist: @ryuryuryuyurboat @yinyinggie @mx-kamisato @chaosinanutshell @haliyarobin @irethepotato @boundedbyfate @favonius-captain @aqui-soba @tiredsleep @sadlonelybagel @mastering-procrastinating @lemeowade
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howlett-dekarios · 7 days ago
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𝚂𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚋𝚎𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚏𝚞𝚕
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▏Trilogy!Logan Howlett x Reader
▏Summary: Though reader and Logan have been in a relationship for some time now, she's avoiding sleeping with him in the same bed, or rather waking up next to him. He had to find out way and help her with accepting her beauty.
▏Warnings: just pure fluff | suggestive themes | self insecure!reader | comfort | acne talk | MDNI
▏Word count: 1,7k
▏A/n: It's some sort of self therapy because I had been dealing with acne myself for years and still have my battle marks. Now I got pretty used to and accept it but some days it still gets me, so I thought that the idea of Logan comforting reader is a perfect way of self made medication for it. I hope that it'll be useful for anyone here and help you guys with accepting your own 'imperfections'. Remember you're beautiful no matter what!
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You’ve been dating Logan for almost a month now. And it was the best month of your entire life; all the small gestures, amazing sex, sweet cuddling and late night talks. You were so sure about him being the one. Rough on the outside and so damn gentle and full of love inside.
There was one particular barrier that you haven’t been comfortable crossing yet though. No matter how tired you had been after him fucking you senseless, or how late you’ve finished your chats, you always came back to your own room. A few times he had asked what’s wrong or why are you so reluctant on staying with him in bed, always coming with some lame excuse.
It wasn’t about him. Shit, you would’ve been more than okay, love waking up on his chest, his scent in your nostrils and his heavy, deep sleepy voice first thing you hear in the morning.
But you couldn’t. No matter how long Logan begged you to just stay, you weren’t able to bring yourself to do it. Because it would mean he would’ve seen your true face, without any make up on.
After dealing with acne your whole life, testing every diet, skin care product and other home methods year ago you’d decided to consult you issue with dermatologist which resulted in what you’ve feared most; being prescribed a strong and very invasive meds that messed with your hormones.  Aside from your doc reminding you every single time not to get pregnant, which wasn’t really a problem since you’ve been on pills, you weren’t allowed to get any piercings or tattoos, your skin was so dry and your lips were cracking every three days no matter how often you moisturize them.
But back then you’d been determined, saying to yourself how it all will be worth it in the future. How finally you gonna have a clean and healthy skin, how you’ll be more confident and visually appealing.
Now, a few months after ending your treatment, you knew how big of a bullshit it all was. Pathetic lies just to keep going. Near the end of therapy, you seen how it all looked like. Yes, the pimples and other stuff were gone and not showing up again, your cheeks smooth under the fingers. But it wasn’t the effect you thought and prayed for. Instead, you were left with darker scars which were still visible sometimes even with your foundation on if you weren’t putting extra green concealer under it. You obviously asked the doctor about it, but her only reply was indifference and shake of arms. She said straight to your face how it was rather a common thing and the only way of getting rid of it was some laser treatment. You honestly felt like crying then. 
“Stay, princess.” Logan groaned, his head laying on your naked chest, cooling down from emptying his balls inside you seconds ago.
Every single time you’d left after sex with him, he felt like an absolute asshole, not providing any sort of aftercare. Not being able to make sure of you being fine, of him not pushing you too far. At this point he would do anything for you to spend the night. To let him cuddle and make you feel safe and love. Hug you from behind while you could be a little spoon, your back glued to his chest, Logan’s nose deep in your hair, smelling you sweet scent. 
He knew you loved him, but sometimes it felt more like some sort of friends with benefits deal than an actual relationship.
“I can’t, babe. I need to remove makeup and clean my face.”
“You can do it here. Just bring your things here already and stay forever.”
“I can’t-“
“Why not, baby? You know that my bed is much more comfortable than yours.”
Such a stupid argument but it was truth nonetheless. Because of Logan’s past and his nightmares Charles made sure to provide as good conditions as possible, not to make it even harder for Howlett.
“It’s not that I don’t want to-“
“Then what? You’re snoring?” Before you could’ve opened your mouth he quickly added. “No, you’re not. You napped on me too often for me not to realize.” Even before your relationship, when you two had been just friends there were situations when you were exhausted after the mission and him giving his arm for you to lay on.  “Than what is it, darlin’? You’re a  true princess who’s transforming to a monster by night?” It was a mere joke but shit, your reaction gave him enough insight to realize how close he hit. “Hey, look at me, beauty.” His big hand cupped your cheek, forcing you gently to look in his eyes. “You can tell me whatever it is, okay? I won’t judge.”
“You can’t see me without makeup.” Your voice was barely heard.
“What?” He laughed trying to sense your joke. “Of course I’ve seen you-“ But then he stopped himself.
Now when you brought it up, he couldn’t recall any situation when he has seen you like that. No matter if it was a party, regular day or a mission, you’ve always been wearing it. Even when Chuck called the team meeting in the middle of the night, your lashes were covered by mascara, foundation all over your face which was contoured by bronzer and blush. Most times it was a very delicate one, which planted already so deep in his mind that his brain was honestly surprised hearing you admit it. Of course he wasn’t any sort of idiot to think you were naturally born with glitter on your face but.. Logan never realized he has never truly seen your face. 
“Is that really the reason why are we sleeping in separate rooms? Because you don’t want me to see you like that?” He genuinely needed to know and seeing you nod made something inside of him die. A thought if the most beautiful and kind woman on the entire planet seeing herself as not enough, not worthy to be seen in her pure charm, sting deepy in his heart. “Why?”
“Because I’m not that pretty. I’m not looking like you think I am.”
“Bullshit.” Logan had enough of it and a bright idea came to his mind. “Wait here for me, princess.”
After a few minutes of him rumbling around you room, searching for your skin care product, he came back with a small bottle of micellar water cosmetic pads. It immediately clicked in your mind what he wanted to do with them.
“Logan, no! You can’t-“
He only shushed you with a gentle kiss and small reassuring smile.
“I want to see you, princess. Wanna feel your face.” His eyes looking for consent in yours.
“O-okay.” You stammered, closing your eyes, not wanting to see his reaction. Too afraid that he will not want you after seeing how you truly looked like under all the foundation and layers of concealer.
His hands despite their size and the fact of adamantium inside of his skin were so gentle. As if Logan was afraid of even touching you because of how he could’ve ruin something, break you in any way. 
Soon enough you felt the nice feeling of freshness all around the face, it being hydrate and probably all shiny, only enhancing the marks on it.
“Darlin’ open your eyes for me. Please.” There was no way you could’ve denied his pleading tone. His eyes were full of admiration and pure adoration. Like he was facing the most perfect piece of art he has ever seen. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”
“You don’t need to lie, Lo… I know how it looks like…” You’ve been looking in the mirror every single morning.
“How? Absolutely stunning and like the prettiest face I’ve ever land my eyes on? Because it sure as hell looks like it to me, darling.”
By this point you were on verge of tears, hearing him say such stuff.
“But the scars…”
“My love.” A bunch of kisses had been planted on your knuckles, then both yours and his hands were brought to cup your cheeks. “These ones? They’re the badges of honor. Orders for your fight, proof of how freaking strong you are. For you, they can be just scars, but for me, they are mark of you history. Showing how far you’ve gone to fight for yourself. They make you even more pretty. And fuck I can’t get enough of seeing you like this.” Natural, your expression and face features not hidden under any covering. “Besides do you expect ladybug to hide her dots? It’s the same as with these stretch marks of yours which are absolutely driving me crazy whenever I see them.” Oh yes, you damn well knew how he adored it. The first time he had seen you naked, Logan made sure to pay them enough attention for you to realize that your complex is one of his turn-ons. “You can’t be mad at tiger for proudly showing off its stripes.”
“Lo-“
“I’m not done. I love you Y/n with or without makeup. Your body is a treasure for me to devour and protect by all costs, you understand?”
Tears rolled down your face and you hidden yourself in the pit of his collarbone. His lips gently brushing against your hair, caressing them with small kisses.
“Thank you.” You squealed quietly, and he moved your head to face him again, giving your forehead a peck.
“No need to, princess. Any time, I’m here for you.” He brushed the small paths with his thumbs, acknowledging how smooth your skin was there. “So what now? You staying’ here or there is another thing I should know about?” A small chuckle left you and it was the best sound he had heard this night, even considering all the moans and whimpers he had gotten out of you before. “That’s it, baby. Come here, so I can finally hold you right.”
For him it was definitely one of the best sleep he has had for a long time now.
As for you? Being able to hear his sleepy groans and small nothings by the morning were enough reason to stay in this room forever.
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▏If you wanna join my Logan's fics taglist check this post.
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@california-boys-and-sun @r-oseie
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mrnnki · 19 days ago
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Starscream-sympathetic fic recs
wanted to come up with a better title but unfortunately my brain is soup.
these are in the order I read/bookmarked them. Some stuff I have more memory of than others.
mostly hurt/comfort, angst, and heavy angst because my tastes skew dark. sticking to more canon-adjacent and plotty stuff for this one, but if anyone wants the rest of the stuff, I can make another list. I had 15 pages of Ao3 bookmarks to sort through. :P
Completed Fic
Ternion - continuity soup. Starscream leaves. Thundercracker and Skywarp eventually follow.
Healing touch - TFP. Seeker fanon lore. Knock Out realizes Starscream is touch-starved.
Not weak - G1. Sickfic. Starscream attempts (and fails) to hide that he's sick during a meeting.
Don't fix it - G1. Starscream, his trine, and his voice.
You remember her differently - IDW/G1/continuity soup. Warning: SA/sexual abuse. Starscream and Cryak focused. Really fucked up, painful, and well-written.
An exercise in self discipline - TFP. Warning: EDs/self-harm. Starscream attempts to punish himself after Optimus doesn't.
Bist du lebensmüde? - Armada. Warning: self-harm. Demolishor attempts to help Starscream.
Inspeak - TFP. Starscream has a nightmare. Optimus comforts him.
More worth saving - TFP. Starscream accidentally calls Optimus 'master.'
Skyborne memories - Earthspark. Starscream and Hashtag.
This ouroboros will not bite today - Earthspark. A rewrite of What Dwells Within.
The careful undressing of love - Cyberverse. Skystar. A badly injured Starscream is found by Skyfire.
Snared - IDW. Megatron visits, and though Starscream doesn't see him, he still reacts.
He scares me - TFP. Starscream flees the Nemesis with Orion Pax.
A calm rarely savored - continuity soup. Starop. Starscream is expected to interface with Optimus to plant a virus in him, but they both find that they experience attraction in nontraditional ways. Amazing ace rep. Has my soul.
Within the dragon's cage - TFP. Predaking doesn't kill Starscream.
Fire in the spark - TFP. Starscream faces Megatron after switching sides.
Prey turned precious - TFP. Predaking changes his mind about killing Starscream after he sees how tired the other mech is.
I wonder what lives inside you now - G1. Starbee. This fic will tear you apart.
Incomplete Fic
The good, the bad, the Starscream - TFP. Starscream redemption fic.
Too far - continuity soup, as far as I remember. Megatron, as the title says, goes too far and Starscream's trine interferes. Heavy whump.
I can't trust the fall - TFP. Starscream redemption fic.
Requiem for a seeker - Earthspark. This one is fucked up and creepy and captures helplessness so well. I love it.
Trust Me - Earthspark.
Another place, another prison - Earthspark. Starscream redemption.
Malicious compliance - G1. 5+1 fic focused on Starscream protecting his trine.
A silent scream - continuity soup. Starbee. Megatron takes away Starscream's voice--literally.
The little star - TFP. Starscream age-regresses. Words cannot express how much I love this fic.
Shine - TFP. Starscream is immortal, with Breakdown and Knock Out as witnesses.
The fallen angel - continuity soup. Starscream is cast out of the Decepticons and ends up with the Autobots.
Beyond our horizons - continuity soup (but mostly G1).
Oneshot Series
The 'Trine leader' series - continuity soup. Series is marked as incomplete. Fanon Seeker stuff (specifically fanon trine dynamics, which are the basis of the first oneshot). Thundercracker kills Megatron.
The 'the life of his that breaths' series - IDW. another one marked as incomplete that can be read in part or in whole.
The 'call an optimist' series - G1/continuity soup. Warning: Non-con. Starscream shows Skyfire what love means to him. It isn't right.
Chasing planes - TFP. Breakdown talks to Starscream after recalling that he was the only Decepticon who tried to save him.
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olderthannetfic · 22 days ago
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As someone who wants to write their first long romance fic, I looked up “romancing the beat” and… is that it?? Is that really how people write romances? Is that fine? I just write 2-3k for each of the 20 or so steps, and sprinkle in some jokes and some smut and at the end of the “giving up” stage some angst too and it’s done?? I am shook.
I read more fanfic romance than published romance and I was dimly aware that romance is pretty formulaic (especially published stuff) but I didn’t know the formula was so… detailed? Fill-in-the-blanks shaped even?
I've written all those things before (smut fluff and angest) although only in oneshots, so that skill is not new to me. But do I really just put Blorbo and Blorbecita in this 20-step formula and get a long fic out of it? That people will read? It can’t be that simple, can it?
(Please don’t tell me romancing the beat is satire. I'll die of embarrassment if it turns out to be satire. Please don’t be satire)
--
I find most of those plot structure books laughable though not satire.
I haven't read Romancing the Beat in years, but I remember it being more or less sound. The issue is that all books in this genre are taking something that good writers understand instinctively and making it a canned formula for those who don't.
This is an excellent way to structure your revisions when you have a draft but something isn't quite working. It's often a good way to analyze someone else's story that you already like and think works. It's a much less good way to write in the first place.
It might work for you, but trying to figure out which bit of your proposed plotline goes in this or that formal category in three act structure or Romancing the Beat's structure or whatever is often difficult and pointless.
How To Structure Your Novel and/or How to Actually Finish A Draft are very popular and lucrative genres of nonfiction writing. Tons of people want to write long things but keep failing to. They will spend plenty of money on products that purport to be the magic bullet that will get them there. That doesn't make the book bad, but just... you know... keep that context in mind.
In my experience, all of the books of this type sound decent and can probably help you grind through a long thing with somewhat less likelihood of giving up, but I usually look at my outline that I instinctively know works and at the canned formula I'm supposed to awkwardly shoehorn my outline into and decide it's more trouble than it's worth.
And no, I don't think that youtube video on the four types of writers is accurate either. These formal structures don't suck because I'm the instinctive type instead of whatever the other one was. They suck because they're simplistic lenses applied after the fact rather than a truly accurate description of why plots in fun books work. To make the structure, they've had to flatten and ignore on the same level as Joseph "the sexist, racist hack" Campbell's hero's journey does.
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suzukiblu · 9 months ago
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Ko-fi thank-you sentences for 🦄 behind the cut; Billy adopts Conner and it actually goes pretty good! (( chrono || non-chrono ))
“Like–they didn’t read to you or let you watch movies and stuff, you mean?” Billy asks with a frown. “Just put the whole things in your head at once?” 
That sounds disorienting, and also kinda mean and lazy on Cadmus’s part. But maybe it wasn’t as bad as it– 
Lynn looks down at Tawky; flips his ear back and forth again and rubs the pad of his thumb across the inside of it. 
Billy . . . frowns, again. 
“No,” Lynn says to Tawky’s ear, as opposed to actually either of them. “I mean they didn’t tell me stories at all.” 
. . . wow, yeah. Billy is definitely committing fifty-two floors’ worth of arson. 
“Oh, okay,” he says, making a few mental notes for himself about, again, arson. Like, just the whole process and everything. “Well, they suck, then. We’ll just have to get you some different types to try, I guess. Like with the food and all, you know? It’s a library, anyway, it’s not like it costs money to borrow stuff or anything.” 
“It’s just stories,” Lynn says to Tawky’s ear, not lifting his eyes at all. “They’re not–important. To . . . I don’t need things like that.” 
“Why do you think that?” Billy asks with a frown, though his inner arsonist is already pretty sure it’s Cadmus's fault. Pretty much positive, in fact. 
Pretty definitely positive. 
Lynn shrugs. Rubs the inside of Tawky’s ear. It’s really soft, Billy knows; Tawky’s fur always feels nice to touch. He wonders, actually, how much stuff Lynn even has touched so far. 
He wonders, again, if anybody’s ever hugged him before. 
He really hates the thought that maybe no one has. He really hates . . . 
He just really hates that that’s even a thing that might be a thing at all. 
“Weapons don't need to know stories,” Lynn says. “They just need to do as they're told.” 
. . . in retrospect, arson might be half-assing what Billy should do to Cadmus. 
“This isn't so you can be a weapon,” he reminds Lynn carefully, resisting the urge to clench his fists in his lap. “Remember?” 
“‘This’,” Lynn echoes. He still doesn't look up. 
“I'm taking care of you,” Billy says. 
“Maintaining me,” Lynn says very, very quietly. “Containing me.” 
“I really hate that somebody made you think that's what that means,” Billy says tightly. Lynn ducks his head lower and looks towards the wall. 
He doesn't say anything back. Billy bites his tongue, trying to figure out what he should–do, or say, or . . . 
The truth, obviously, but how to say it's a lot harder. 
“This isn't, like–a containment thing. That's not why I'm taking care of you,” he tries, because it's the best place to start he can think of. The wisdom of Solomon covers a lot of knowledge, but not necessarily always how to apply that knowledge. “Like, we wanna know where you are so we know you're safe, or at least know you've got your phone just in case, and the curfew thing is–like, normal kids get curfews. So people know where they are, and that they're not in trouble or anything. And like–so people know when to get help for them, if they might be in trouble.” 
Lynn doesn't say anything, still. Billy's not sure if that means he's just thinking, or if it means he hasn't said the right thing yet. 
He really hopes it's the thinking thing, but . . . 
“Honestly the other idea was putting you up in Mount Justice,” he admits. “But it doesn't have any windows or anything, and I don't even know if anyone else was gonna be there most of the time, and–”
“Windows?” Lynn . . . frowns, his eyes flicking back to him. 
“Um, yeah,” Billy says. Lynn stares blankly at him for a moment, then slants his eyes towards the apartment windows and–hesitates, a little. 
“. . . you mean there's no sun,” he realizes slowly.
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justporo · 1 year ago
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Office Hours
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Author's Note: This - this is finally the promised wizard smut with Professor Gale Dekarios. I've written this as a fill for Kinktober Challenge. Please enjoy, while I go bury myself. I'm so excited to hear your feedback, because writing this was daunting. Happy Halloween!
Summary: You took up a PhD project under the infamous Professor for Wizardry Gale Dekarios but you also have a huge crush on him. Stuff getting a little heated at a party could almost ruin your future though. Things between you and Professor Dekarios are tense from there on out - until you go to confront him about it. (All characters are over 18!)
Pairing: Professor!Gale / Fem!Tav (You) Rating: Explicit Warnings: explicit sexual content! Wordcount: 8,2k (I'm so sorry...)
~~~
Another shot of tequila was placed in front of you.
“Bottom’s up, love!”, Astarion cheerfully exclaimed and clanked his own shot against yours. You drunkenly turned your head towards him. As always when you went for a night out with your best friend, he kept putting drinks (and a reasonable amount of water in between) in front of you while he barely seemed to get drunk.
“We’re not even bothering with salt and lem-lemons anymore?”, you drawled sluggishly. It was time to stop soon as long as you were still able to remember what you were doing.
Astarion didn’t even reply just kept swaying to the beat of the current song blasting through the club and clinked his glass against yours again to make you take it. And so you did.
You both threw your drinks back and shuddered when the liquor ran down your throats. “You’re really pushing me tonight, Astarion”, you screamed over the loud blasting music.
“Yeah well”, he shrugged as his eyes wandered back to the dancefloor and the hunk of a man he’d been dancing with almost the whole night – at least when you hadn’t danced with him.
“It’s not every day that my bestie has to celebrate that renowned PhD position with the infamous Professor Dekarios, is it?”, Astarion screamed back at you.
And it was true, it most definitely wasn’t every day. Because not only did you get the approval of the prodigy professor who was famously known for being strict and very demanding to be your supervisor. But you were the only one he’d taken on for a PhD project since… well, since he was in the position to do so it seemed. he’d t
But you had thus far always excelled in his classes. You’d been the very role model student during your time here.
And sure, you had worked your ass off for it, but it was well worth it. A finished PhD under a prodigy such as Gale Dekarios of Waterdeep would open you every door in the wizarding world.
It might also have helped that you had a huge crush on Professor Dekarios. The way this man spoke passionately about all things Wizardry and Weave had captured you from the very beginning. Just how his whole demeanor changed when he started talking about his research and how passionate he became. The way his eyes lit up when he got to talk about his work.
And then also: how he absent-mindedly let his hands wander through his hair when he was thinking about how to word something. How he let his thumb wander over his bottom lip as he intently listened to one of your questions and praised you afterwards for how clever it had been.
It was safe to say you had found yourself daydreaming about what else that man could do with that eloquent mouth of his more than once. Or how it would be if he praised you for more than just your smartass little questions.
“You know he’s here tonight, don’t you? Since it’s a faculty party”, Astarion kept on yelling into your ear, already grabbing the shot glasses to go get more.
“WHAT?”, you screamed – and this time it was clearly audible over the music in the club. You stared at Astarion in shock.
“Love, it’s your faculty and you brought me here, might I add. Shouldn’t you know about this kind of stuff? I saw him when I went to the bar”, Astarion yelled back with a mocking grin. Then he was off again with a naughty wink to get new drinks.
He was right. He was actually a history PhD student and had nothing to do with your wizarding studies. And still he always seemed to be better informed about these gossipy bits of information.
You gulped when you were reminded of what kind of revealing dress you were wearing tonight – black, short, low cut waterfall neckline. The thought that Professor Dekarios might have seen you in it and how you had danced in it – it scared you and excited you at the same time.
The fact that you were already solidly drunk definitely meant that it was leaning more towards the latter.
And then, sure as all Hells, you saw him: Professor Gale Dekarios walking into this part of club.
He looked a little out of place with his slacks and shirt-sweater combination – totally dressed for teaching, grading and researching and not for going down at the club.
Dekarios walked over to some people standing in a loose circle – people you realised now were other faculty members. You watched him intently – noticing the little details while you were drowned by increasingly unhinged thoughts. You saw that his shirt wasn’t neatly tugged in anymore, one hand was casually in his pocket while the other held a glass of red wine nonchalantly by the rim – letting it hang by his side. Sometime during conversation, he absent-mindedly dragged his hand through his hair. He always did that when he was deep in thought or having one of his passionate scholarly monologues during a lecture.
For all the scholarly nerdiness (and sometimes cute awkwardness) this man possessed – he was effortlessly sexy when he felt relaxed it seemed. And man, were you down bad for him.
You were still staring at Dekarios’ butt – that actually looked formidable in his slacks - when Astarion returned and slid another drink over to you. He saw how absent-mindedly you were staring off into the distance and tried to figure out what you were looking at.
When he did, a feral grin split his face: “Honestly, I’d fuck him if given the chance.”
“Astarion!” You whacked his arm as you were ripped out of your stupor.
“Don’t act like that, sweetheart, I know you would get on your knees so quickly for that man. I’ve had to listen to your horny yearnings for two years, remember?”
You blushed because he was right – as he sadly mostly was. The shit-eating grin stayed firmly on Astarion’s stupid face as he looked at you
“Yeah, as if anything would ever happen”, you simply retorted then, not wanting to indulge your friend’s insolent behaviour any further.
“And yet you keep wearing sluttly little outfits to all his classes”, Astarion drawled and his eyebrow twitched while he called you out. “I do believe even wizards have eyes to see what is right in front of them – even though it’s mostly just books.”
“That coming from a godsdamned history student is really low”, you replied and left it at that.
You were not having this conversation right now. So you settled for whacking Astarion’s arm again - which made him hiss at you that he hadn’t even said anything anymore -  and then grabbing the drink he’d brought you, downing it in one go.
“Maybe instead of calling me out you could double down on your other best friend duties and go dance with me again?”, you suggested after suppressing a shudder from the downed alcohol.
Astarion just replied with grinning at you and stretched out his arm in an elegant gesture towards the dancefloor, motioning you to get going then.
You went and danced, having even some more drinks while doing that. That man built like a massive tree eventually joined the two of you as he had been dancing with Astarion before. He introduced himself as Halsin and told you that he was a visiting researcher – only staying for a little while at your institution.
You exchanged some small talk per screaming while on the dancefloor. But shortly after it was back to your best friend Astarion and him dancing and eventually even making out with each other.
You didn’t mind at all – in fact you were happy Astarion seemed to enjoy himself. And you happily let them have their space and just let yourself be taken by the music.
You swayed and rocked to the beats, lifted your arms and rolled your hips – enjoying how good the movements made you feel.
A soft buzz coming from your hip and the tiny bag swinging there made you look at your phone after a while. It was Astarion.
“Gonna leave with our new friend if that’s ok with u? Wanna make sure he remembers his time here well!”
Gods, even after a night out with lots of drinking Astarion was still wasting time on being eloquent.
“Go get it bestie”, you simply replied and grinned at yourself. You were already excited to hear about it afterwards when you next up with Astarion for a coffee or something.
You received one more text from Astarion asking you to text him when you got home safely. You agreed with a quick text and then went back to dancing.
All the booze you’ve had was giving you the confidence to keep going on the dancefloor even though the club was finally emptying bit by bit. The songs played were less popular now but therefore more enthralling and so you let yourself get dragged along by the music.
Until you opened your eyes and saw that you were being watched. And not by just anyone.
A bit off the dance floor Professor Dekarios was sitting on his own now in one of the leather seats there, his legs spread. He was holding another glass of red wine, carefully placed on one of the armrests. His other hand was at his chin – motionless though. You could see his single earring glint in the flickering club lights. His one side of hair was fanned out around his head.
He sat there like a statue – just very intently staring at you, giving you an immediate feeling of being stripped bare before him. He wasn’t even reacting to you catching him staring.
At least that was what you thought. But then you noticed the prominent bulge between his legs, straining against the fabric of his slacks.
Your lips parted in silent surprise and you immediately felt how your nipples hardened and rubbed against your dress in arousal. You gulped and wet your lips while your whole mouth suddenly felt overwhelmingly dry.
When you looked up again you saw just the slightest sparkle in the eyes of your observer.
And that – probably in combination with all the liquid courage you had consumed tonight - was enough to get you going again.
Knowing the audience, you then began to dance again – putting in even more effort than before: fluid motions, making your hips roll more prominently, dragging up the skirt of your dress just a little too much as you turned around to give him a view of your back.
You let your hands wander up your front when you turned around again, deliberately letting them linger on your breasts and squeezing them as you dragged your hands up and feeling them softly jiggle when you let them go again.
When you looked at your watcher you saw how he had leaned forward slightly in his seat now. Bulge now even more prominently outlined against his pants if that was even possible. His thumb wandering over the bottom lip of his open mouth as he watched you – just like he did when you asked an incredibly smart question in one of his courses.
You were feeling feverish and heedlessly aroused, probably dripping wet too. The thought of just sauntering over and sitting on his lap and pushing your boobs in his face crossed your mind as you turned around again to give him more opportunity to stare at your ass.
And when you turned around again…
The spell was broken. Someone had come over to Dekarios and engaged him in conversation. You saw how he had awkwardly placed his one arm over where his testament of arousal was probably still clearly obvious. He didn’t acknowledge you with a single glance anymore.
And you felt like someone had poured ice cold water over you. The heat of desire and lust quickly replaced with the heat of burning shame. You felt cheap suddenly and very self-conscious. At least the club was so empty now that mostly anyone else wouldn’t have noticed – or they’d been way too out of it to care.
You stormed off the dancefloor and out of the club, already regretting how you had it let come to this. Hoping you wouldn’t have just ruined everything you’ve worked so hard for.
Six months later…
Stuff had mostly went backwards and downhill from that party night on. Although Astarion had congratulated you and while he had wheezed and applauded you when you had told him about what had happened after he'd left. But you had barely been able to eat up your shame to resume attending Professor Dekarios’ lectures. Your keen sense of duty being the only thing that forced you back there after you had allowed yourself to miss a few classes because you wouldn’t have been able to handle it at all.
And when you had finally managed you had been smitten with completely being ignored by the man itself. He rarely acknowledged you anymore in his lectures, brushed over your questions and avoided you at every cost. That meant barely any eye contact, not even when he had to speak to you in public, no communication on your research project whatsoever and he mysteriously managed to never meet you walking around campus.
You had felt guilty and afraid at first – fearing that at some point you would just receive a formal letter that told you that you and your appointed studies were dropped without further notice.
But when that didn’t happen, you couldn't also help to feel at least a smidge of anger whenever you thought about it: obviously you had been trying to commit yourself to forget what had happened and start working on your research project. Why did he have to insist on making it awkward?
You wouldn't bring up the topic, certainly. You were prepared to just act like nothing ever happened at all – even if you would remember it every single time you looked at the man. Forever reminded of the shame of that moment; but also: the desire he had looked at you with and the lust you had felt for him.
But you'd be lying to yourself if you didn’t admit that you were mostly just majorly worried. Not only because of how he was behaving towards you in public but also because of how it impacted your project. Not once had you spoken about your planned research.
So you had started on it alone. Spent countless hours researching literature, trying to find the right focus for your project, marking off topics and theories. You had worked on your exposé for the last couple of months now – once you had gotten over the fear of just being dropped like a hot potato. And you had sent it in weeks ago and not received a single shred of feedback. Which meant that, despite being pretty sure that you did good work and put in the necessary thought, finesse and care to let it live up to Professor Dekarios’ standards, you were worried sick that you wouldn’t be able to go anywhere with it.
You really feared that what you had thought first after the party had become true: you fucked up your once in a lifetime chance at breakthrough research about the Weave. And on top of that you had ruined your relationship with someone you deeply admired.
But recently shame and guilt had mostly subsided to allow feelings of rising anger. You came back to the thought of how ridiculously he behaved: if you were an adult about it all you would have hoped he would be too. If he would even talk to you at all – you’d take being screamed over this horrible silent treatment any day.
And after sulking in your own misery for way too long, you found it was time to confront him finally. You probably wouldn't exactly be the bigger person about it - but at least you wouldn't be the one running away.
When the next date for his office hours came around, you threw on some of the nicest clothes you had. A low cut blouse and faux-leather pencil skirt you knew your ass looked amazing in - at least Astarion always whistled and affectionately slapped your butt anytime he saw you wearing it.
You knew you were absolutely pushing it but that was exactly what you wanted: forcing this godsdamned prodigy wizard to man up and either tell you off for good or just... settle the unfinished business. Either way would be fine for you by now, you just wanted to be out of this limbo state.
You made your way over campus to his office, in your head already riling yourself up to be appropriately angry when you confronted him. Stomping over the university grounds while you imagined countless scenarios and outcomes and already felt good about your decision to finally take action.
But your righteous fury hit some bumps quickly.
The first thing that took you aback was the small sticky note at his office door telling anyone to just come in and that he'd be back very soon.
This was almost enough already to take the wind out of your sails completely. You had hoped to throw open his door dramatically and scream at him to either give you proper feedback on your exposé or just stick it up his godsdamned wizard arse.
You swallowed and tried to retain your anger as you opened the door.
You had only been to his office a few times before you had taken up the PhD project.
It was beautiful, a dream for anyone who was in love with magic and books and studying: the walls were lined with dark bookshelves and loads of magical trinkets, just anything imaginable. Even though dark wood dominated the room it wasn’t gloomy but rather cozy and welcoming.
The eye was quickly drawn to the huge wooden desk centred at the back with a huge window behind it. Stacked on it were books and papers. Dekarios believed in being old school when it came to his studies and work, you knew as much.
You were in awe - and absolutely jealous.
"Hello visitor, Mr Dekarios has just gone out to get coffee", you heard a voice from somewhere behind the desk.
You were only shortly confused because the voice quickly turned out to be Tara, Professor Dekarios' tressym that lived with him, when the gentle beast jumped up on the desk. Only once before had you had the pleasure of speaking with her - she was truly a gentle and very sweet soul.
"He will be back sho-. Oh, it's you!", she said and interrupted herself. Her long fluffy tail started swish-swishing behind her while she sat down on the very middle of the desk. Her yellow cat eyes observed you cautiously – but not unfriendly.
Your brows furrowed. You couldn't believe though that the small creature would actually remember you from just speaking with you once.
But it seemed the tressym had read your mind on that because she angled her head as you came closer and then said: "Mr Dekarios speaks a lot about you, you know."
You would have given a good amount of gold to be able to read the expression on the cat's face better.
"He does?", you answered dumbfoundedly. "Because he hasn't really talked to me in actual months." The fluffy tail flicked forcefully around once when you said that but then Tara just kept looking at you.
"Of course, he does! He basically never shuts up about you. And I'm pretty sure he almost never stops thinking about you either, it's uh-"
The tressym's tail flicked around even more and she worked her front paws around, almost as if she was shuffling around awkwardly.
"A bit unnerving sometimes", Tara finished and cocked her head again, looking up at you curiously.
You felt yourself blush and desperately tried not to think too much about what the creature could have meant.
"Although, I have to say, I fear you kind of messed with his mind that night some months ago even though he wouldn't tell me exactly what had made him so... upset. And then of course he had his own bad experiences in the past when he was in your position. But Mr Dekarios tends to forget that he's quite a different person than his former... acquaintance."
You could barely believe your ears. Also you were probably absolutely tomato red from your neck up. You did not exactly know what had happened to the anger you had come here with, but it surely wasn't present anymore - at least for the time being.
The fact that you seemingly were a predominant thing on the mind of your professor was disarming to say the least. And also you had the feeling that the tressym had just let you in on some quite personal stuff about Professor Dekarios although you could not make sense of any of it.
When he had been in your position? Former acquaintance? What was that supposed to mean?
The subject matter chose this exact moment to enter the scene.
"Tara has anyone...", Professor Gale Dekarios said while he flung open his office door with a coffee in his other hand.
His mouth immediately snapped shut again when he spotted you as you had turned around at the sound of the opening door.
You stared at each other for a very long moment.
"I'll leave you two alone, excuse me", Tara said cheerfully, jumped off the desk and sauntered out of the room through the door that was still being held open by the wizard. You weren’t entirely sure but you thought you heard Tara hiss “be nice to her, I like her” in passing to her wizard before she slipped out the door.
Tara's departure helped you both out of your stupor. Dekarios closed the door behind himself and awkwardly kept standing around at the entrance of his office. Meanwhile you crossed your arms over your chest and felt at least some of the anger return at the sight of him.
"Tav", he said. His tone was defeated and you could see his shoulders visibly slump. It easily ignited the rest of your fury in you again.
"Professor Dekarios", you almost spat.
"Please. Just call me Gale."
And snap - the anger was gone again. It was ridiculous how easily this man could change your mood just like that.
Gale started to walk over to you as you noticed that he was wearing almost the same thing he had that night at the club. You couldn’t help but blush.
The wizard's brown eyes were filled with a wild mix of emotions you couldn’t quite interpret as he came closer. He ran his free hand through his hair in a nervous gesture, making his single earring swing around as he brushed against it accidentally.
You swallowed and lifted up your chin - not wanting to give in to him and his beaten puppy behaviour.
"I guess it was about time we talked, wasn't it?", Gale said when he was standing almost right in front of you.
He leaned around you to put down his coffee in a to-go cup on his desk.
You couldn't help but to catch his scent: soft cologne, the smell of books, the fresh coffee he had been carrying. Involuntarily your lips parted.
But you quickly bit down on them, you wouldn't lose composure now.
"You think?", you spat when some anger flared up again. You immediately regretted it. The last time you had your whimsical emotions take over had been the instance to get you in all the mess.
The anger was mirrored in Gale's eyes for a short few moments. Then he calmed down again quickly and just sighed defeatedly.
"You're angry with me", he simply said. His voice was deep and warm. He was now standing directly in front of you. His gaze directly on you. And you saw how his eyes flicked down and up again. Several times.
You felt that you lost the grip on your anger with the way he looked at you so sadly. So you decided to make a last ditch effort before you would probably just break down crying or running from his office – and all of this would have been for naught.
"Yes, I am angry with you", you almost yelled at him. And you forced yourself to be done with being taken aback by small details now.
Before you could think better of it you launched into the rant you had long prepared: "You took me in as you're PhD student, so you promised to help and supervise me with my research. I worked my ass off in the last months. I sent you my exposé which is - as you might know as a scholar yourself - quite critical to get started, or find scholarships for that matter. I did a lot of research already. I had countless sleepless nights. My caffeine intake has become more than unhealthy. And never ONCE did I receive an ounce of your help." You really made yourself more enraged now as you kept talking. Finally letting it all out felt incredibly freeing.
Gale's eyes mirrored what you were feeling. You were certain, he was probably just as upset as you, but you couldn't care less in this moment.
"And if all of this is caused by that one night at the club, the fucking faculty party, might I tell you: seriously, fuck you! I've seen exactly how you looked at me! I didn’t just make an arse of myself, you did too! And if you can’t handle that fact, either tell me to just go fuck off and I'll be gone or man up and stop avoiding me or..."
You let the last part hang up in the air.
Gale's eyes were ablaze by now. He stepped in closer to you. You had never seen him be this intense. Not even when he was talking about his most passionate areas of his work.
"Do you really think I act like this because it is fun for me?", he snapped at you, his tone had taken on an authoritative tone. A tone that usually only came out when he was putting someone in his place – the scholarly way.
He kept walking towards you, making you take steps back. "You might think it was easy for me the last couple of months. But I had to look at you, every godsdamned lecture when you wear stuff like this." He gesticulated at your outfit, licking his lips and letting his eyes drop to your dangerously deep neckline. "Making me remember how you danced for me that night. Making me think of what might have happened." You stumbled against the edge of his desk, unable to keep your distance from him now.
And he was still coming closer, until you almost lost your balance trying to keep some space between the two of you, almost falling onto the piece of furniture behind you. You could already feel the heat his body was giving off.
He still didn’t stop, until there was in fact not a mere inch between you and his body pressed against yours even though you tried to lean back on the table.
"I am only trying to protect you", Gale continued his tone now pleading, his eyes soft and full of worry – but not hiding what lay beneath that. He was so close you could see every little detail of him: the lines of the mysterious tattoo swirling over his neck and cheek, the scruff of his beard, his soft eyes and the strands of grey in his hair, the subtle wrinkles around his eyes or the worry lines on his forehead.
But this made you angry again. Who was he to tell you what you needed protection from? But then you shortly remembered Tara's words – a flash through your mind.
But you were set on your course now. The way your body reacted to the closeness of this man you’ve had so many fantasies about being the proof you hadn’t really needed anyway.
And before you could try and think better of it you exclaimed: “Or – instead of patronising me – you could do us both a favour and just fuck me, so we can both get the hells over with it!”
You were shocked by your own courage and rashness, but it was quite apparent that this man made you do things: once that night in the club, now – not to mention that he was a major part of why you chose to pursue a PhD in the first place.
Gale’s mouth dropped open in astonishment and surprise for a moment, a sound somewhere between gasp and moan left his lips.
Then he regained his senses, desire flashing in his eyes, and he flipped you over, bending you over the desk.
It was your turn to gasp and moan in surprise. You barely caught yourself with your arms, accidentally pushing off some papers and books in the process. Also knocking over the cup of coffee that just fell on the floor and spilled on the floor.
Gale immediately secured your position against his desk with his own body, pressing his hips against your backside you hoped looked just as delicious as you had planned now.
Your thoughts on that immediately disappeared though when you felt Gale’s erection press against your ass. He was already rock-hard, making you gasp more.
“Are you really sure this is what you want?”, he asked with a husky voice. You merely managed to nod and let out a breathy moan, enjoying how quickly had turned around again – this time in your absolute favour.
“Gods know I really want to see what that brain of yours can do but I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t admit that I have to say the same thing about your delectable butt you keep presenting to me”, Gale admitted in a haughty voice as he pressed himself harder against you, making the edge of the desk deliciously bite into your thighs.
You swallowed when what was happening started to settle in rationally – not just carnally. At the same time you could feel how helplessly needy you already felt, how lust pooled between your legs and flooded back again through your whole body. You had thought about this for so long but now being at his mercy felt better than anything your mind could have come up with.
Gale’s hands wandered over your ass in your skirt but the caress was still hesitant, although you could feel that the wizard was already breathing raggedly – the rise and fall of his body pressing you harder against the wood.
“Are you really sure you want to do this? Say it. Please!”, Gale whispered hoarsely, asking you again, although you could already feel how he had started to move one of his legs in between your thighs now and how his hands had wandered below the hem of your skirt and readied themselves to hike it up.
You pushed yourself up from the desk, turning around to him give him the most incredulous of looks: “I had six months to decide if I was sure about this, Gale Dekarios of Waterdeep. I was probably already sure of it when I saw you sitting in this nightclub flaunting a major erection and I made my boobs jiggle for you! I came here dressed like THIS.” You almost yelled at him. How did this idiot have you bent over his godsdamned desk and still hadn’t gotten the fucking memo?
“Well, no need to yell at me – I can hear you quite perfectly from here, thank you”, Gale replied and threw on his snappy professor voice that usually only those students got that annoyed him. He slapped your butt too and made you shut up really quickly before you could make a sassy remark.
Then he turned around slightly and you saw how he effortlessly used mage hand to turn the lock on the door. And with a quick incantation it began to glow also. You knew that spell and knew also that it wasn’t an easy feat to accomplish. Your mouth fell open.
When Gale turned back around again he took a deep breath and ran one of his hands through his hair, closing his eyes for a short moment and making the strands of brown with some grey fan around his face – all while still having you immobile between his body and his desk. Your mouth felt dry watching him do that – just casually locking you in his office with him; with one of the most powerful lock spells known to the wizarding world. And he didn’t even blink.
“There”, Gale simply said and rolled the tongue around in his mouth, letting it click once. “Point of no return now because the door is locked and sealed, is that what you wanted?”
You didn’t reply just stared at him hungrily, the lust inside basically becoming feral. You were still only turned half around, pushing up on the surface of the desk. You used the little space for movement you had and rubbed your ass against Gale’s crotch hoping that that would convey your answer to his question.
The wizard groaned and you watched his eyes roll back when he felt the friction against his erection.
“Do you even have an idea how many times I dreamt of this? Of this exact scenario?”, Gale pressed out as you felt the tingle of magic suddenly at your back and you noticed what must be another mage hand wander up your spine, softly caressing you, stroking up to the nape of your neck and curling itself in your hair.
Meanwhile Gale’s real hands were both free to hike up your skirt slowly, the feeling of his fingertips on your naked thighs making you shiver in anticipation.
“Do you know how many times I did?”, you gave back teasingly.
The mage hand in your hair yanked on it and the wizard’s hand came down on your butt again – a lot harder this time. You moaned helplessly as you felt jolts from the pleasureful pain run through your body and incinerating the fire inside you even more.
“This is not a competition!” There was the professor voice again. You tried to rub your butt against him again and earned another firm slap on your behind. Oh, you could keep going just like this for literal hours.
You heard Gale softly chuckle and then moan at your increasingly unhinged state. It seemed he was finally getting into this instead of worrying about you. And this is exactly what you wanted.
And then, to your surprise, you felt another instance of mage hand starting to wander over your body – dragging up one of your arms with which you had been supporting yourself so far and pressing it onto your back.
“In fact, do you know how many times you made me lock myself in my office after lectures because you always sit there, first row, wearing something that makes me stare at your breasts and then ask the most brilliant questions?”, Gale drawled, his voice dangerously low now. The one hand in your hair tugged on it again, making you lift up your head and look at the professor.
“I don’t know, did I?”, you answered and bit your lips and tried to turn around a little so you could force the aforementioned breasts into his field of view.
Your insolent behaviour earned you another slap and low growl from the wizard before he thrust his hips against you and made you fall prone on the desk surface now.
A third mage hand then started to work on your body, pushing you down until your chest was firmly held down on the desk. Then it grabbed your other arm until both of them were firmly held behind your back, meaning you were now absolutely immobilized and at the wizard’s mercy.
Your boobs were squished against the wooden surface, hurting in a way that was just the right amount to pleasure you. You whimpered in pleasure and closed your eyes trying to maximise your awareness of your body pressed against his.
You knew that you were dripping wet now. And you were desperate to let Gale find that one out.
“I believe, you need to be put into your place for all that, don’t you agree?”, Gale groaned as his hands finally dragged up your skirt over your buttcheeks and revealed your already completely soaked underwear.
“Uh, I mean unless… you’d rather…”, the wizard stuttered as he looked at your naked butt and how wet and ready you were for him, how his magic held you down – the mage hand at the back of your neck making you whimper now with how pleasantly hurtful it tugged on your hair. The sight of you below him had the usually eloquent professor quite at a loss for words.
You knew he was only trying to make sure you were fine but right then there you felt so desperate to just finally let your fantasies come true that you were almost ready to yell at him again to just get on with it.
“Please”, you simply whispered. And that was enough to break the wizard out of his paralysis. In a sudden change of position he knelt behind you, his hands spreading your butt for him as he pressed his open lips and tongue to your wet but still clothed core and began to suck.
You gasped in surprise and your head jolted upwards, straining against your magic shackles. But Gale’s mage hands were holding you firmly in place, resulting in you just squishing your breasts against the table harder and feeling how they and their hardened peaks were smushed against the hard surface, making you moan harder.
Gale kept giving your wet core and clit attention, finally pushing the soaked lacey piece of fabric that was in his way to the side and letting his tongue work on you – sinking it into you, then letting it circle around the sensitive bud down there.
The man was definitely as good with his tongue as you had hoped for – better even. Turns out the tongue wasn’t only good for spells, incantations or scolding naughty students (although that was probably his specialty).
He kept going, turning your whole being into a whimpering, shivering mess with how the tip of his tongue flicked over your clit and his hands squeezed your ass forcefully.
Desperate for his caress, you arched your back as hard as you could, desperate to get even more friction out of this. When you pushed your hips back even further when you were already close to an orgasm, Gale withdrew from you, leaving you to feel suddenly empty and cold.
You whimpered at the loss but didn’t trust your mind enough to form coherent sentences to make a sassy remark at him. You tried to turn around more to look at Gale and suddenly felt that the mage hands holding your arms behind your back had disappeared. In the same moment you heard how the wizard was undoing his slacks. Your eyes widened.
Now being allowed to do so you turned to watch as Gale let his erection spring free out of his pants. Your lips parted at the sight while Gale watched your reaction intently with a subtle hint of a smile on his face. You might be dripping wet for the wizard, but the wizard was hard as granite for you.
He stroked himself a few times and moaned while you kept staring at his hardness and felt the urge to feel him, all of him, become almost unbearable. Gale watched you, observed the carnal need in your eyes.
“You want me to-“ “Just fuck me already, Gale Dekarios of Waterdeep!“
This time the man needn’t to be told twice. He closed the distance between you. All his magic little helpers had disappeared. Now it was only him when he pressed his body against you again. His hard length fitting and pressing nicely between your buttcheeks.
He moved it down to let it slip along your wet core. The sensation of feeling his cock rub against you already almost making you insane. His hands grabbed hold of your hips as you pushed yourself up against the desk as you braced yourself for what was about to come.
Gale kept toying with you a little more before he entered you with a single movement – thrusting hard. You moaned loudly and let your head fall down. The first movement had already made the table shudder. You desperately tried to get accustomed to the feeling of finally being filled to the brim by this wizard.
“Gods, I want to fuck you until everything on this desk is knocked over”, Gale groaned and you could actually feel him twitch inside you as he promised you that.
“Better get to work then, Professor Dekarios”, you gave back with a breathy moan and squeezed your muscles around him. That earned you a deep growl and another hard thrust – oh.
“You enjoy it, when I call you that?”, you teased and squeezed around Gale’s cock again. Another growl, but not as feral as the one before.
“Fuck me then, Professor Dekarios, right on your desk”, you tried and almost regretted it when the wizard started to actually savagely pound into you – there were no pauses in between it anymore. He thrust into you slowly but forcefully, setting a steady rhythm. Every thrust taking you by surprise, unable to getting used to this sensation of being fucked by your professor.
You felt him hit pleasantly deep inside of you and thoughts in your head weren’t coherent anymore as you simply felt yourself give in completely to your lust and this man.
You felt the tingle of magic again right then and there, between your legs, starting to rub on your clit while the wizard kept thrusting into you - hard. So hard that he was about to keep his promise – books and papers fell over and then off with each of his movements that brought your bodies together. Until… out of the corner of your eye you saw a few papers making their way off the table. They looked awfully familiar.
“Wait, is that my exposé? And annotated? So, you did read it!”, you exclaimed with sudden reestablished coherent thinking. No matter the state of heedless need and pleasure you were in – you couldn’t let this go uncommented.
“Of course - I did - it was brilliant!”, Gale answered breathlessly in between his movements, not letting up on his thrusts. You squealed happily.
But then the mage hand between your legs, pleasuring your clit, suddenly pinched it, making you squeal again – but this time in pleasure and pain.
“We can talk about this later!”, Gale said with his scholarly voice again. And you were drawn back into how he was fucking you on his desk. Although you highly doubted you would be talking about anything soon.
He kept going while the mage hand at your sensitive core was almost driving you mad. The mixture of its teasing and the friction created by Gale thrusting into you had you almost at the edge.
But Gale groaned in frustration and dragged you up from the table. “This won’t do”, he commented, then turned you around and pushed you down again. “I need to see your face when I make you come for me”, he explained his reasoning.
So now you were laying on the wooden desk, your naked butt rubbing over the polished wood, supporting yourself on your elbows as Gale moved in and dragged your legs around his hips to enter you again. But before he did, he bowed down to tear open your already very revealing blouse. You gasped, as buttons jumped off it as you felt the burn of his violent tearing. Who would’ve thought the scholar was so ready to take what he wanted?
Thankfully you had been wearing nothing else underneath, so the wizard was immediately greeted with your naked breasts springing free from your top.
He stared at them dumbfoundedly while their peaks hardened in the sudden rush of cold air. You licked your lips and arched your back again to make them look as perky as possible.
When Gale kept staring in awe, you angled your head, cocked an eyebrow and let one hand wander across them – from one hardened bud to the other - and with that motion softly squeezing and dragging them.
“I kept thinking about these since you put them so exquisitely on display that night at the party”, Gale whispered. “So good to see them finally in the flesh”, he continued and licked his lips. His eyes flicked to yours – was he seeking approval for his stupid joke? This man could really swing between effortlessly and mind-blowingly sexy to absolute dork within in a single moment.
You wrapped your legs around his hips to get his dick back pressing against you. “Will you finally finish what you started? This is taking longer than waiting for you to get done grading a paper”, you scoffed and quickly moved up to give his hardness a single firm stroke.
That made the wizard’s head lull back and groan once more. Then he was immediately onto you again, entering you and bottoming out in a single movement. His hands moved to your hips again to give himself more resistance for his thrusts as he started moving again. And this time with an absolute urgency.
He stared at you, eyes flicking from yours to your jigging boobs then to where he could see himself sliding in and out of you. One of his hands wandered down between where your bodies were joined and this time his real fingers were working your clit.
And between his skilled fingers, his powerful thrusts and the way he stared at you as if he actually wanted to devour you, you felt the cliff coming. And you knew that for him it was coming into view as well as his movements became more and more ragged.
“Please”, you begged him simply – not being able to utter anything else.
Some more powerful thrusts and flicks of his thumb while you clenched around him pushed you off then, making you fall, see stars. It was as if you had entered the weave itself.
You moaned his name desperately as he made you come violently. You clawed and grabbed for his arms, desperate to hold onto him while you lost yourself.
You squeezed your legs around him as you arched your back impossibly far with the pleasure spikes ebbing and flowing through your body and your whole soul.
And Gale followed you within only a few more movements, groaning and tensing as you felt him twitch inside you and his hands clawed into the flesh of your hips. He moaned your name as well, as if it were a plea, while he came inside of you.
“Ah Gods above”, he moaned before he collapsed onto you after that.
The two of you were a tangled, sweaty mess. Breathing heavily, none of you trusted their skills to form complete sentences yet again after this.
With a groan you wrapped your arms around Gale’s upper body, touching his hair, moving a strand of it behind his ear before you leaned back. All tension had left your body for the time being and you desperately felt like you needed to lie down now somehow, actually lie down.
Out of all the scenarios you had come up with as possible outcomes to this, this was definitely the most satisfying one. And the fact that Gale had casually admitted that he thought your exposé brilliant was adding to the happy, fuzzy feeling you felt spreading through you now.
Gale’s eyes meanwhile had widened at your soft gesture and caress and he kept staring at you in wonder and admiration. Then he suddenly moved up and kissed you: with open lips, but gentle, almost too tender after what the two of you had just done. The scruff of his beard tickled a bit on your face and made you scrunch your nose a little.
When he withdrew slowly your expression mirrored his from just before.
“What was that for?”, you asked softly.
“I just realised I hadn’t kissed you through all of this and this was a fact I couldn’t quite live with”, the wizard answered. Ah well, he seemingly was already back to his blabbering eloquent self. This stupid idiot – you were down bad for him even worse now.
You suddenly felt a giggle rise up in you and your cheeks warm. So you grabbed the wizard’s face and kissed him again. Longer now, a bit more passionately – and in a way that already made you yearn to have him again.
“So, do you want to talk about your exposé now, or…?”
“Gale, can we discuss this later?”
The wizard gave you a huge smile when he heard you call him by only his first name again.
“Alright, let’s schedule another meeting for that then.”
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pastlivesandpurplepuppets · 12 days ago
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IN PART 7 OF THE SERIES (TITLED “THE BREAKING POINT”], IT shows Sergeant Bill Guarnere and Edward “Babe” Heffron in a foxhole, wondering if I was about to take a step off the deep end.
“You’ve seen him,” Heffron says. “He’s all wound up like a spring.”
“He’s fine,” Guarnere says. “It wasn’t getting shot [in Holland] that got him, it was being in that hospital. I been there—okay? It ain’t pretty. Besides, once he was up and moving around, he was his old self again. I’m telling ya, Buck Compton’s fine.”
In real life, the events surrounding this time of the war are perfectly clear in my mind. This is what I remember:
One day in early January the anticipation we had been feeling for so long was shattered. Very suddenly, broad daylight, really bad shelling started coming in—big, heavy stuff. Ka-Boom! Ka-Boom! Ka-Boom! Ka-Boom! Landing on us was the most shocking display of firepower I had ever seen. It was absolutely merciless. I yelled to the guys—Incoming! Find cover!—something like that. Shrapnel flew and shredded every which way. Bursts of dirt and snow exploded all over. You could feel the ground bounce. You could taste gunpowder in your mouth. It was all very close. Thirlkeld was only a few feet from me. What he was doing aboveground for so long, I never knew, but he didn’t make it—we had been in the woods for so long you got used to the lulls. The shelling blasted away tree branches; huge limbs fell with thuds all around us. I could hear someone yelling, “I’m hit! I’m hit!” For some time, all was complete chaos.
The shelling stopped almost as suddenly as it began.
I think I was the first out of my foxhole, because I remember being the first to scream at what I saw. “Medic!” I hollered for all I was worth. “Medic!” Nobody seemed to be within shouting distance. I have a hard time explaining today how narrowed the focus is of anybody in my position. A platoon leader is down pretty low on the officer scale. Most of the time, no matter where we were, I was unaware of the bigger picture. My focus was a ditch or a road—just the fifty-yard stretch of land around me.
When I got up to survey what had happened, I couldn’t believe how my fifty yards had been ravaged. It looked like slaughter alley— huge trees blown down, ground ripped up, a whole bunch of guys lying all over the place, some motionless, some gasping, unintelligible words coming out of their mouths. It’s a terrible thing to see your guys like that. Death was everywhere. These were the first heavy losses we’d taken at Bastogne.
In the series it shows me coming out of my foxhole to survey the damage. I scream for a medic, then drop my helmet and just stand motionless. In the next scene there’s a fury of activity around me while I’m sitting on a fallen tree with my head in my hands. Then it shows me lying on a cot in a field hospital. I’m in the fetal position in tears with Malarkey next to me, trying to read me a letter from back home to cheer me up.
I appreciate the series for doing that (even though all but one of those scenes were fictionalized) because it shows the progression of a soldier who suffered from combat stress reaction, commonly known as shell shock. Truly, there were men in World War II—in any war— who are so affected by the horror of their experiences that they break under pressure. But although I was affected by the horrors of Bastogne, I do not believe I was clinically shell shocked, as the series portrays me. In real life, while I was hollering for the medic, trying to figure out what to do, I remember two distinct thoughts:
How are we going to help the wounded guys? We were so alone out there. Company headquarters, battalion headquarters—they were all far away.
My second thought was: Maybe this is the time the Germans are really going to get us all. They’ve been softening us up. Now, this is it. With all these guys wounded, what the hell are we going to do to fight back?
Truly, it was an impossible sight to take in—to know what to do, to know how to help. I had seen men die before. I had seen men get wounded before. But this was different. This was unprecedented gore.
More than a dozen of our guys lay bleeding in the snow. Guarnere and Toye, probably the two toughest guys in the unit, had both taken it bad. Toye had gotten hit first. I guess Guarnere had crawled out of his foxhole after him, trying to drag him to safety. In the process, Guarnere had taken one as well. Both were missing legs. Our medic, Eugene Roe, got to Toye first and tied a bandage around what was left. He gave him a large hit of morphine, then went to Guarnere to do the same. Toye had only recently returned to our unit from an aid station where he got his arm patched up. He and Bill were good friends of mine. Deep red smears were all over the ground.
Dick Winters wrote in his book (not critically of me) that I suffered a serious mental trauma after the shelling and simply “walked off the line.” He was at battalion headquarters at the time and not present in the area of my platoon, so his information came secondhand. I mean no criticism of him by clarifying the facts.
In truth, I did not “walk” off the line.
I ran.
~ Buck Compton
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kairiscorner · 2 years ago
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happy birthday — miles 42 x reader (birthday special)
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↳ summary: miles has been really busy a lot lately, training hard under his uncle to better his tactics at fighting and balancing school and chores on top of everything, he just kind of forgets today was even special. but luckily, you don't forget your boyfriend's birthday that easily. ↳ word count: 1,916
↳ a/n: i did not realize it was my son's birthday on the third, i'm so sorry it's late SJEBCBFIVBRFVBRBVVRBO BUT I HOPE THIS IS GOOD ENOUGH TO MAKE UP FOR IT, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MY BOYYYY AND I HOPE YOU GUYS LOVE THIS <333
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"got any idea what's up today, miles?" you asked miles with a big grin on your face as you caught miles in the halls before class began. he raised an eyebrow up at you as he glanced up at you after collecting all his books and everything else he needed for his first class of today before heading off. "um... no. is it movie night tonight? because sorry, i... i can't make it tonight, cielo." he muttered as he looked at you with eyes filled with hints of sadness and shame at not being able to hang out with you, despite really wanting to. his responsibilities as being the prowler, a student, and a son have got him really occupied lately. he can't really quit either of these full-time jobs he's got going on right now, and you couldn't blame him. you wished he went easier on himself, though, and took more breaks, took it a little easier on himself, maybe would blow off some steam from time to time and tell you at least how he feels so it doesn't bottle up inside him over time.
you held his hand and shook your head. "nah, silly, it's something more important!" you exclaimed with a grin. miles tilted his head to the side and raised his eyebrow as he looked at you with a look of confusion. "um... hmm, is it a study night? i know it's not our anniversary yet, it's not your birthday, uh..." he mumbled as he closed his eyes and rubbed the back of his head, frustrated with himself because nothing came up in his mind. he didn't think there was anything worth such importance today, though if he was being honest, he wasn't sure what date it was today; he just got by the month by remembering what tests were when, if tonight had prowler activities, or if tonight was going to be laundry night with his mom. he was honestly drawing a blank here, he needed you to give him more obvious clues to help him find out what exactly was so important about today.
you sighed as you let go of his hand and folded your arms in front of your chest. miles' eyes widened as he felt you let go of his hand, he reached out for your hand again as he stepped forward towards you. "cielo, wait! please, i... i'm sorry." he apologized first as he stepped back and took in a breath. "can you just, um, tell me what's up today? i'm sorry, i've just been so swamped recently, and i know that's not the best excuse, but i'm not--" he went on and on, but was interrupted by the first bell. "ay, gotta go, cielo, we can talk about this later!" miles said as he scrambled for his stuff and ran off.
you waited for miles outside of his classroom once your class ended, though he had to stay behind and ask the teachers a couple of questions and clarifications over his homework since he was having a lot of backlog due to his duties as the prowler. miles caught a glimpse of you outside, though before he could call out to you or walk over to you, the next bell rang, and you had to attend to your next class. miles couldn't focus properly, he was overthinking about whether or not he upset you, or if you were already disappointed with him forgetting what day it was today. he wasn't able to check his phone or ask for the date today since he was busy catching up with schoolwork. eventually, miles caught you at lunch, but... you were with ganke. you were huddled over with him at his table, the two of you smiling and chuckling at each other as you showed him stuff on your phone.
miles trusted ganke, and ganke expressed how he didn't have any interest in butting in between you two, but the mere sight of you with ganke–all smiles with him and laughing together, after he hadn't been able to spend much time with you recently due to his responsibilities and all–it hurt him deeply, thinking he failed you and were seeking comfort with ganke. miles walked away, hurt and sad, but angry towards himself for the most part. he ate lunch alone, just like he did before befriending ganke and meeting you, but he felt like he deserved it for pushing you aside, even if he didn't mean to and wanted nothing more than to be by your side.
as miles headed home after school, not seeing you in the halls or at the school yard as he scanned his surroundings for you, he felt super dejected and disappointed in himself. he wanted to stop thinking about his responsibilities for once and just put all his time, effort, and focus on you and only you–but he knew that would be a mere twinkle in his eye, a dream that will only remain as that, a dream. but as he entered the front door of his home, he was greeted to the voices of all the important people he had in his life, with yours ringing distinctly in his ears.
"happy birthday, miles!"
miles stiffened as he heard those two words with his name following the greeting not long after. he blinked for a few times and looked around–his mom and uncle aaron were there, so were ganke and... you. wait, could this be the super important thing you hinted about today? oh, man, did he feel like an idiot–he never thought of his own birthday as something of importance, but you... you kept thinking about him, all day. miles was speechless as you approached him, all smiles, and pecked his cheek. "happiest birthday to you, miles." you said as you pulled away and presented to him the gift you had for him. miles looked at you with a puzzled look. "cielo... for-for me?" he asked you as you chuckled and nodded. "for who else, dummy?" you asked him as miles slowly took the gift and stammered. "i... but, cielo, i don't deserve this. i've missed out on countless dates and meet-ups with you, i keep pushing you aside even though i don't wanna, i--" miles rambled on and on, beating himself up for feeling inadequate at making you happy due to his repeated absences.
before he could continue, you hugged him tightly. "and it's okay, babe. you're good. you try, and even if it doesn't work out, it's the thought that counts. i'm already happy you think of me all the time and want to spend time with me, even if you can't. i love you, miles." you tell him in a gentle voice as miles hugs you back, bringing you closer to him as he kisses your cheek. "i really love you, too, mi cielo..." he mutters as you pull away from him and lead him to the couch for him to open his gift from you.
you handed him a thick box, it was wrapped in purple wrapping paper with green accents, with a green and black ribbon to tie it up. you encouraged miles to open it as ganke filmed it, with his uncle aaron and his mom watching intently. miles was gentle in unwrapping the gift, he didn't rip it open, he wanted to feel the suspense of opening the gift you got him. soon, when he saw what was inside, he gasped loudly as his eyes went wide. he kept repeating 'wait, no...' in a breathless, excited way as he realized you bought him the sneakers he had been wanting for the longest time. he could never ask his mom to buy it for him, and he was saving up to buy them himself, but to get them from you... oh, he felt like he had ascended.
"mi cielo, no freaking way...!" he exclaimed in an overjoyed manner with slight chuckles in his voice as his smile widened as the fact you gifted him the very sneakers he had wanted for a long time sunk in and made him momentarily forget the sadness he was feeling just earlier. his uncle teased you as he wished you didn't gift him those sneakers, he'd have a new obsession for a little while and keep his eyes out for him. "that boy's gonna be wary about me, asking me if i touched them. he's gonna be real overprotective of those, especially since they came from you." his uncle aaron quipped as miles told him that wasn't true. just a little true.
miles kept thanking you and kissed you on the cheek, and as ganke was filming, he encouraged you two to share a kiss. "c'mon, you dorks! for the camera! kiss! kiss! kiss!" he chanted, with uncle aaron chanting along with him. his mother chided the two, saying you two weren't going to be doing anything of the sort in front of them, but you decided you didn't care anymore and pulled miles in for a gentle kiss. miles' eyes widened even more as you kissed him, and though his mother cried out in surprise, with his uncle clapping and chuckling as ganke cheered for you two, he found himself not wanting to pull away and kissed you back.
miles pulled away and gazed at you, a smirk growing on his face as he kissed your cheek. "oh, how did i get so lucky? how could i have you, mi cielo? you know, i'll stop being too serious, you're the only lucky break i have from all the chaos in my life. i promise you, though, i'll make up for all the time that should've been just ours together. i swear, i'll make this place safer for you, i promise." he said as he interlocked his hand with yours, clutching the shoe box in his other hand. he kissed your lips and pulled away, causing you to giggle and get flustered. "i'll hold you to that, miles. but please... don't hesitate to come to me, talk to me, or do anything with me. i love you, babe, i don't mind if you miss a few dates or meet-ups, just be safe out there..." you whispered to him with a smile.
his mother retreated to grab a glass of wine as his uncle called out to her to save him a glass, with ganke chuckling as he saved the footage and teased you two lovebirds. "this... has got to be the best birthday ever." miles gushed as he ran a hand through your hair. you chuckled as you fidgeted with the end of his left braid in your hand. "even with your uncle and mom watching us kiss, with ganke filming all of it, probably never gonna let us live it down...?" you asked as you leaned closer to kiss him again and pulling away. miles smiled sweetly at you as he answered, "really." he kissed you again, with you reciprocating his kiss. that truly was going to be a birthday he'll remember, and he's gonna make sure he keeps his promises to you and work hard to earn your love and pay you back for the gift you gave him. though if you were to ask him, the only gift he really wanted was just to... hold you close, hear your voice, and just be with you on his birthday and for all the birthdays there were to come in the future with you, his sweetheart.
tags !! @k4tsu3 @fiannee @luvstarrstruck @toneystank-3000 @ii01vq @maxoloqy @pixqlsin @solecitoszn @q2ie @zalayni @anikaluv
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shallyouobeyme · 1 year ago
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Spicey
Yandere!Bakugo Katsuki x Reader (GN)
Summary: Bakugo is convinced the two of you are meant for each other, born on the same day and friends since then, and he will go to great lengths to make sure you stay near him. It's all worth it though when you do something for him, no matter how small...
! Minors Do No Interact!
TW: Actually just very soft!Yandere Bakugo, Me being a dumbass and switching between using Bakugos first and last name a lot, mention of Bakugo maybe or maybe not threatening some people
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Your friendship with Katsuki had been going strong for as long as you could remember, your mothers had met in the hospital after giving birth and the two of you had already been lying in bassinets beside each other. Soon, your mothers were fast friends and play dates between Katsuki and you became a common, mostly weekly occurrence. And so it might have been the nature of the situation or it was always meant to be like that, but as you both grew up, your friendship only grew closer.
Now, one might assume that given the closeness the two of you have had for your entire life, Katsuki must perceive you as a sister, but one would be wrong. Sure, Katsuki saw you as someone he had to protect and who was an unchangeable part of his life, but you weren't his honorary sister, no, he hadn't seen you as anything family-wise since he had been old enough to know what romance was. No, you were going to be his spouse, you already were the love of his life and nothing would change that.
With this goal in mind, he made sure throughout his entire life that you were close by, made sure his presence as a perspective (definite) spouse of yours was drilled into your mind. Your parents wanted to move, unhappy with their landlord? Bakugo was the one who gave your father all the information about a beautiful property near his childhood home with the landlord being very, very kind - and always seeming a little scared when dealing with your family. You were thinking about attending a school specialized in one of your hobbies? Bakugo took you on a campus tour at U.A. (as if he ever needed it) under the guise of being the one who wanted to see more of it and, who would have thought, the support course could make perfect use of your quirk and the teacher is really keen on you attending. Maybe you should attend U.A. with him, don't worry, he'll help you study and he'll make sure you get in.
Even after the attacks on his class - luckily not on you though or he might have lost his mind completely - and the students moving into the dorms, he somehow manages to convince Nezu to move your room near his instead of where it would usually be near your class. Don't worry, he knows you don't know many of his classmates (because he didn't 'want to share you with them), but he's there and he'll make sure you'll feel comfortable. He'll even go to those interior decoration stores and buy you things to make your room more cozy - oh, you want to pay for your own stuff? Don't be silly, he only buys you stuff, because his mom is rich and he wants to spite her by paying with her money.
A lot of your off time is now spent in either your or Bakugo's room, often studying or just hanging out doing your own thing just enjoying each other's presence. But sometimes when you asked really sweetly, maybe gave him a little kiss on the cheek, and he knew no one would surprise the two of you, he'd do things you wanted to do specifically - be it Spa Days, book clubs, trying out specific baking recipes, or even something as simple as watching a chick-flick (something Katsuki will never, ever admit he secretly enjoys doing with you).
It was safe to say that a lot of things the two of you did were catered to your interests and hobbies, because - as stated before - Katsuki wanted you to know how perfect of a husband he'd be for you. But he didn't mind, everything done for you was something he did gladly and something he'd do again without a second thought. Still, whenever you did something specifically for him or whenever you went out of your way without a cause to make him happy, he was over the moon. The feeling he got when that happened - which to be fair wasn't rare, but he still relished it every time - was something better than any win in a fight, any villain he ever did or ever will beat, and better than any feeling of superiority he got over his classmates when he did something that proved him being better than them.
One such occurrence happened on a weekend spent at his house while both of your parents were on a trip out of the city, which gave Katsuki the perfect excuse to play house in his mind with you, in his head he liked to pretend that you and him were married and spent a relaxing day in your spousal home. He had been spending the last few hours at the gym in his basement training - he didn't want to get out of shape and make you think that he'd let you go once you'll be married - and when he came upstairs he smelled something delicious, quite honestly it felt a little bit like he was a husband working all day, coming home after a busy day to his loving spouse who was already preparing dinner for the two of you.
"You're cooking?" Katsuki asked as he walked into the kitchen, savouring the view of you looking so very cute and precious nodding your head to some imaginary tune as you stirred something in a pot.
"Yes!" you answered excitedly as you smiled back at him, "I know you usually like to make dinner, but I saw this new recipe online and I really wanted to try it and it turns out you had all the ingredients for it. I hope you don't mind."
"No, not at all," Katsuki gave you one of his rare smiles behind your back, just wishing he could come up to you - hug you from behind and give you a kiss, "I'll just quickly take a shower and then we eat, okay?"
A mere five minutes later, because Katsuki was too excited to take his time and rushed to the shower as quick as he humanly could, the two of you were sitting at the dinner table (gosh, Katsuki's mind would replay this day in his mind for months) and you served him a bowl of a Ramen-variation. Katsuki was prepared to act like this was the best-tasting meal in the whole world, just to see you smile at him, but what he was not prepared for was that after his first bite, his mouth exploded with flavour. Any normal person would have started crying at this point from the spicey goddess that just happened in his mouth, but Katsuki was more than used to this so he enjoyed it immensely. It was probably one of the best spicey Ramens he had ever tried - a main factor in this probably being that you made it.
You looked at him with a worried gaze as you were biting on your lip, waiting for his reaction: "It's too mild is it? I knew I should have added more spices," you sighed, looking disappointed in yourself, so Katsukio quickly stopped those doubts.
"It's perfect, really, this is just right. I was just surprised that you made it this Spicey, I mean, I know that you are a bit more sensitive with your puny, little tastebuds," Katsuki teased you a little bit and you blushed as you smiled a bit cheekily.
"I actually made a bowl without most spices just for me, but I wanted to do something nice for you for once - you're always doing so much for me and I wanted to."
Love pulsed in Katsuki's heart. This was the exact moments he was living for. This had to mean you loved him back, why else would you do something so amazing for him? Katsuki never had any doubts that the two of you were meant for each other - after all, you were even born on the same day, brought into this world together to live in this world together - but now he was even more sure than ever and maybe he would actually tell you what he was feeling soon. Maybe...
N/A: Thank you all for reading today's entry in my Yandere Writetober, I hope you enjoyed this and if you did, that you might feel inclined to reblog or comment. Tell me what you think, tell me what the weather is like, I don't mind either.
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jq37 · 9 months ago
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Would it be possible for you to briefly outline the gist of the Bad Kid’s relationships to each other in terms of individual pairs (i.e. Fig and Kristen, Riz and Fabian, Adaine and Gorgug, etc)? And if that’s too much, maybe specifically the Fig ones (I’m trying to get a sense of her friendships because they are so important to her).
This is SOOOOO late but I didn't have the time to write it when you sent it and then I figured I might as well wait till the end of the season to get a full picture and give the best answer. Hope it was worth the wait!
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Fig and Fabian: Fig and Fabian are the two that most closely fit the classic "cool kid" archetype (though obviously we know Fig is mainly a big sweetheart and Fabian is a loser no matter how high he rolls). As far back as S1 they were playing the party faces and schmoozing Penelope together. I think their friendship now is exemplified by the fact that when Fabian wanted to threaten his banker, Fig was there as his first mate to help out, no questions asked and no payment required. They're each others, "I can count on you to do this bullshit with me," friends.
Fig and Riz: I think Fig knows she doesn't necessarily have as much in common with Riz naturally as she does with some of her other friends but she obviously respects and deeply cares for him. The main reason she started taking her classes seriously Junior Year is because the whole party passing together was really stressing him out and she spent some of her very limited downtime sending Riz a, "Thinking of you" not to lift his spirits (though she signed it from Gorgug because she can't help being chaotic). Similarly, I think Riz obviously cares a ton for Fig even though he finds 70% of what she does crazy. Think about him following behind her to clean things up as she pretended to be a doctor and had to do surgery in Freshman Year. But I think she's helped him lean into his chaotic side a bit more as well--I always think about their side mission to hell in Soph year and her going, "Hiss at her litigator!" And at the end of Junior Year, he comes to the conclusion of, "I gotta let her do her own thing and not pressure her to live by my standards." So lots of mutual respect.
Fig and Gorgug: Fig and Gorgug have been besties and bandmates since Freshman Year. I've always had the sense that Fig has some big sister style protective feelings towards Gorgug since he's often the gentle giant of the group and this season, she hyped him up a ton with his Barbificer stuff. I would argue that, besides his parents, Fig is Gorgug's biggest cheerleader.
Fig and Adaine: Fig ALSO has sister energy with Adaine but it's less "protective older sister" and more "odd couple playfully clashing". Think them burning spellslots to fight for the best rooms in Mordred in Soph year and Adaine foaming at the mouth to get info about her crush on Ayda. They're living under the same roof so we have to assume they have a lot more interactions that we don't see and I feel like Adaine probably really enjoys that she gets to have closer to a normal sibling relationship with Fig since her blood sister is Aelwyn and that relationship is intense and meaningful but nothing approaching normal. The teasing is there but so is the genuine love--remember how devastated Fig was when Adaine was taken to Falinel in Soph year despite their best efforts? And her long hug during the Baron fight this season even though they were VERY MUCH on the clock. And Fig was Wingwomaning hard (along with the rest of the Bad Kids) to help her notice Oisin. Also think about Fig having a whole crisis of self during The Last Stand and turning to Adaine for reassurance and Adaine just going, what? Girl, no you're awesome and painting an arcane bullseye on her target so she could smite like crazy. Despite the playful ribbing, they have very supportive sister energy. "Absolutely my king, whatever you want."
Fig and Kristen: I think Fig and Kristen have two big things is common. One is they're both very chaotic people and the other is they have both gone through kind of intense rebellious periods spurred by or resulting in family trauma. Because of that, I think they likely get each other a bit better than the others might (and we can see that Fig followed in Kristen's footsteps a ton this season god-wise). Fig also decided to take on the protective, German Shepherd role over Kristen this past season which I think is partially for the bit, partially about personal development, and partially about just how much she genuinely wants to help protect Kristen.
Fabian and Riz: Classic jock/nerd friendship. The original Bardy Boys. The kind of friendship that is made special by the absolute lack of obvious commonality between the two parties. "The Ball" is a friendly nickname now. Oh how the turns have tabled.
Fabian and Gorgug: Fabian started out the series by attacking Gorgug for no good reason while he was being gifted a tin flower and midway through this season he was like Gorgug, you're quitting Bloodrush? I'm gonna miss you :(((((( even though they're still fully in a party together and spend so much time together. The bro energy has completely solidified. It's also funny that Fabian texted Gorgug like, "Congrats on making it with Mary Ann!" and Gorgug was like, "You do know I've had sex before, right? I come from an extremely sex positive household and I had a steady girlfriend for two years who also came from an extremely sex positive household." Fabian has all the aesthetics of a cool kid but Gorgug is actually about that life, lol.
Fabian and Adaine: This is another pair that I think has serious sibling energy (and not just bc they both have posh high elf backgrounds). I'm thinking about Fabian yelling for Adaine's help during The Last Stand (even though she was like why am I the one you're calling for help right now???). I'm also thinking about Adaine being like Fabian hit me :( during the Baron encounter and Fabian being outraged at the thought that he would ever hit her. I think if you asked Fabian, he'd say his best friends are Riz and Adaine (which is really funny considering they're the nerds of the group).
Fabian and Kristen: Bad decision buddies with no game who are still somehow getting their kisses in.
Riz and Gorgug: I think that Riz was one of the Bad Kids who realized how smart Gorgug really is the fastest. He's always like, "Nice one Gorgug," when he offhandedly comes up with a connection that helps solve the mystery and I feel like they have to work on gear and gadgets together. I think the fact that Riz believed Fig's lie that Gorgug wrote him the encouraging note says a lot and the fact that Gorgug immediately made him a real present (the Medal of Wit) also says a lot.
Riz and Adaine: Party nerds, investigation buddies, voices of reason with specific things that get them unreasonably angry. They are the only ones who were excited that there was an academic portion of The Last Stand. Riz made Adaine a folder with nothing in it at the beginning of Junior Year to say, "I'm not worried about you but I want you to be included anyway." Adaine in a conversation to I don't remember who said that she knows that at the very least she and Riz are going to college together. When everyone was wasting questions questioning Bakur, Riz told everyone to shut up except for Adaine and himself. They are the braincells of the operation and they have party nerd solidarity.
Riz and Kristen: I think Riz has a similar relationship to Kristen that he does to Fig. This season he was her right hand man with campaign stuff but ended the season like hey, do you. I don't want to put pressure on you. And Kristen in turn I think appreciated his efforts a bit more by the end of the season. I feel like it's easy to feel like their relationship is unbalanced but I think Riz is a lot like his dad and he not only feels weird when he's not working but also shows his love by working so it's more symbiotic than it may seem at surface level.
Gorgug and Adaine: Gorgug and Adaine don't interact the most, but I feel in my heart that they have a lot of chill, lo-fi study time together. This is me extrapolating a bit but I think they kind of inherently balance each other out. Gorgug being mechanically big and full of rage but really sweet. Adaine being small and polite but full of so much rage. In-universe you know she spends a ton of time standing directly behind him and casting spells while he soaks damage. That's gotta give you a special kind of camaraderie.
Gorgug and Kristen: Whenever I think about Gorgug and Kristen, I always picture them in Sophomore Year, Going Through It with their girlfriends at the same time, lol.
Adaine and Kristen: I think Adaine and Kristen's whole relationship is best summed up by three actions. (1) Adaine casting Friends on her to make her go to school so she won't fail and then Kristen giving her the Help action to be charmed. (2) Kristen making the effort to be mean-nice to Aelwyn because presumably Adaine told her she likes that better. (3) K2 being sent way and Kristen being like, "I did enjoy having a sister" and Adaine immediately going, "I'm your sister." (Which, from her history, you know isn't something she'd say lightly). I think Adaine is often exasperated by the insane shit Kristen does (see eg: ribbon dancing) but she was also right there hyping her up and helping her cover during the "Passed the test to give me new spells" fiasco at the food trucks. At the end of the day, Kristen respects the hell out of Adaine and Adaine is ride or die for Kristen.
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