#worst he can say is no but that shit hurts!!!!!
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Post by u/DJConvex to r/AskReddit on Nov 6, 2024:
People who work in DC for the government, what is the vibe?
Comment by u/Meduselde:
Resigned. We are generally very good about not discussing politics in the workplace but the vibe was obviously off. My more conservative colleagues who were happy Trump won were extremely respectful. There wasn't smug gloating and they were very obviously being cognizant of others' feelings even more than normal. It was extremely appreciated. Ultimately, we survived the first administration and will survive again. It's not necessarily Trump who was the problem last time, but his inexperienced senior appointees. The world isn't going to end nor do I feel democracy will crumble at his feet. It's just gonna be chaotic, and that's the worst part as a worker bee. At least with Biden we had consistent leadership and clear guidance, even if you didn't agree with it. Under Trump, your "yes man" says "no" and that's how you rotate through four SECDEFs. But as a sign of hope, it also means that even the most loyal DO say "no" sometimes, especially when businessmen are finally confronted with the realities of governance.
They chill out REAL quick on their dismantlement plans when they see the work these agencies do and what's at stake if they don't stand up for their people. It's easy to say you will dissolve or cut funding for something when you do not truly understand it. And as much as people say we can ALL be magically replaced with "yes men," even the most stone-hearted appointees recognize that the last thing you ever want is to lose the entirety of your skilled workforce. They learn it's best to get the skilled people to work towards their vision and not hire enthusiastic but stupid people to attempt the same. If they do, they risk looking inept themselves. You don't get skilled federal workers in a blue portion of the country to work for you by being a fucking Nazi. We're cranky and will make your life hell if you behave like that. I'm not talking about some sort of organized resistance movement because we feel like it. That's wrong. But just imagine hundreds of thousands pissed off at you. If that's the Deep State at work, then we aspire to be the quality of swampy Deep State your racist uncle thinks we are. If implementing dictatorship was that easy, Trump would have taken out every agency his last term and fired us all. I am actually extremely proud of the resiliency and checks and balances that the American federal government has in place to prevent most of the shit he says he can achieve by waving a magic executive wand. (He's done this once. He knows he can't. He just lets the majority of the population believe he can.) Us feds will make it, as we always have.
And we will live up to our oath to serve the Constitution, not a president. We serve every official of every party faithfully within the bounds of legalities and our oath. Working for administrations you may not like it's just a part of the job that we all recognize. Public servants at the federal level generally hold that extremely close to their heart. The ones that don't (I'm talking to YOU, WaPo "informants!") put us to shame. We're just tired, man. I can't believe it has already been four years since the last round. There's going to be some waves, no doubt, and some people definitely are going to be hurt at upper levels. But grab a Twisted Tea and buckle up. We'll at least pretend it's meant to be a roller coaster and ride it. TL;Dr Democracy is not going to die. But a drink and "thanks" would go a long way.
EDIT: Woah! I woke up this morning and am surprised by how much traction this got. I'm sad that this was the most positive thing some people had read. I'm sorry it's been that bad. I am not predicting outcomes. I have no idea how it's going to go. It's going to be bloody. But the hope I am trying to get across is that we are a resilient people and a group of (generally) good people. It will be okay, okay? The people that really make or break your daily life are those around you and your local government. Hold those around you close to your heart and always be kind. Everybody go outside, take a deep breath, eat something you love, and hug your grandma (even if she voted differently). The world is still turning and the sky is still blue. Being surrounded by spiraling anger on the internet only makes us the losers, not those we disagree with. The only thing we can do right now is wait. We have a few months to cool off! Enjoy your holidays!
EDIT 2: I think everybody has forgotten about this, but go check out the memorandum signed by the Joint Chiefs of Staff at the end of Trump's first term after January 6. The feds basically said "fuck that" when people were scared that the government was going to turn the military on them to help Trump in some way. While it was specifically addressed to our armed forces members, it was spread throughout the DOD and beyond. Partially as a result of federal workers' fear (not actually ordered, to be crystal clear) that they would be asked to turn on citizens. This sentiment was echoed across the entire government via internal emails (from Trump appointees!) as well to the civilian workforce. That's one of my proudest moments as an American and why I know we will get through it.
Emphasis mine. Link to original Reddit Post. Link to an article about the aforementioned memorandum signed by the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
Don't give up. We will get through this.
#us politics#election 2024#donald trump#kamala harris#we will get through this. we will survive.#jen.post
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i hope it's okay to add my thoughts as well, as this is something i think about a lot as a System(multiple people in one body, which the majority of people see as inherently a delusion) and a Kinnie (essentially "i was this character in a past life". again, most people consider that delusional).
it does not matter how stupid or obviously fake the delusion sounds to you, and it is not your responsibility to bring someone back to reality. in many cases, that can actually be worse for them, not better. what matters is, are they Functioning? do they need help from you in this moment to function? if they are distressed, how do you alleviate the distress? you do have to pick your battles carefully when it comes to delusions. it's relatively easy to show somebody, based on evidence, that they are not turning into a werewolf. it can be much harder to convince them they aren't poisoned, especially if there is no food left to test and no rational reason why they would be. but you know what you CAN do? put a bunch of black food dye in a drink, give it to them and tell them it's activated charcoal and that'll disrupt anything they've ingested. hell, if they're not currently on any oral medication, you can give them the real thing. yes, it's treating the delusion as Real, but it's also performing a harmless action to make them feel safe again. "monster spray" type shit. one that people in other mental health circles may be familiar with is the delusion that you are an evil, horrible person who just poisons everything around you and is better off dead. this one is often hard for people to deal with, because it can come from a number of different places, each with their own approach needed. of course for a normal highschooler you can usually just ask them if they've done [terrible thing someone real did] and when they say no you can declare that CLEARLY they can't be the worst person in the world, then. sometimes it comes from intrusive thoughts that a lot of people are uncomfortable talking about; convincing someone they're not terrible just because they fantasize about fucked up shit is largely an excercise in teaching them that actions are what actually matters, which many people inherently disagree with due to their upbringing. but i honestly think the hardest one has to be people who've ACTUALLY done something wrong - or, at the very least, people who are convinced they did in a past life or another dimension. because with them, you have to focus on moving forward as a better person and living with the guilt, and that one can either be a lot to ask, or it can be extremely frustrating because you don't personally believe this guy was actually dracula, so why is he so worked up about killing people who were not real? sorry, big wall of text; my point is, there are some delusions where if you want to address them and help, you need to be prepared to be uncomfortable and possibly even grapple with some genuinely hard questions. or, you can try and find a way to distract them from their thoughts. it won't always be possible to reality check someone, and you need to be okay with that if you're going to be close with a delusional person.
and i've said this before, but i'll say it again: who cares if the lady at ihop thinks she's cleopatra stuck in the present. what does it matter? let cleopatra work at ihop, it's not your business. if it's not hurting you, and she's managing the stress of time travel just fine, leave it be.
also, i feel like this should go without saying, but one of the worst ways to make someone's distress even worse is to accuse them of faking their mental health issue. seriously, the amount of times i have seen somebody have an anxiety freakout like OP describes and be told "you just want attention, you know damn well there's nothing wrong with the food, sit down" is genuinely heartbreaking. if that's ever happened to you, from the bottom of my heart, i am offering you a full serving of your favorite food.
I want to add to the post I just reblogged about delusions and how to help people with them, but op was specifically schizophrenic, and the last time I tried to share a related story on a post like that, a different OP got extremely angry that I didn't have an identical disorder to them and accused me of derailing, so I'm making a new post.
I have severe anxiety. The things you can believe when you are going through an acute anxiety attack or panic attack can be so extreme they can be classified as delusions. I've been convinced I poisoned myself, I've been convinced I had rabies, I've been convinced a building was going to burn down, I've been convinced my blood was full of bug eggs that were going to hatch and kill me.
Doctors and family members who have helped me the most were people who took those fears seriously, who examined me no matter how irrational my fear was, and who told me why, based on what they observed, my fears were unlikely to be true.
Instead of "you can't possibly have rabies", it was "the dog is vaccinated, so it can't have rabies, and the skin where it nipped you is not broken."
Instead of "Of course your blood isn't full of bug eggs" it was "bug eggs would have hatched by now" which was so coldly logical it completely snapped me out of my panic.
Instead of "I'm sure you didn't poison yourself", the doctor looked at the bug spray and the ingredients and listened to how I used it and said "based on your exposure, you haven't been poisoned".
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A potentially (even more) angsty prompt:
A couple month after the breakup (and Buck moping around), the 118 is called to a crashed Harbor helicopter.
Or alternatively, Buck is not on shift and Chim calls Buck that Tommy is in the hospital via a helicopter crash (the rest of the 118 rescued him). A la Chim's Henren matchmaking.
Whatever level of injury you wish for either is good!
(for the purposes of this ficlet, their breakup is NOT the 8x06 version, just one where Tommy is like "we're moving too fast, I need some time" and they agree to give it a pause, and it still sucks but they're not exes)
---
"So... Have you two patched up yet?" Eddie broaches the subject cautiously. It's a fifty-fifty chance that Buck will be willing to share or snap his head off.
"I asked him out for a drink," Buck says, eyes on his book (Slow Productivity, which seems kinda strange for a guy working as a firefighter). "He said he'll take a raincheck." He sounds emotionless, which means he's sort of upset but not overly so.
Which makes sense, since Tommy and Buck did have a Not-A-Date brunch to catch up two weeks ago. Eddie was there, too, desperate wishing he had an excuse not to be, so that the two yearning idiots would just get back together.
Eddie's about to say more when the alarm goes and Bobby hustles everyone onto their engines. Curiously, Bobby sits in the back, telling Hen to take his usual seat.
"What do we got, Cap?" Chimney asks, snapping his gum. It's a new habit - the man is stressed about a second child. The sirens scream to life and they're off.
Bobby puts a hand on Buck's shoulder. "Airlift gone wrong. A chopper went down while delivering a heart to First Presbyterian."
Eddie sees the younger man go still. Buck won't ask, so Eddie bites the bullet. "It's Tommy?"
Before he answers, Bobby tightens his grip on Buck. "It's Tommy."
--
The good news is that the chopper hadn't gained much altitude when it crashed. The better news is that its cargo, a heart ready for transplant, is still intact, so it's quickly rushed off to the hospital in an ambulance.
The bad news is, it was Tommy piloting.
The worst news is, he needs blood. A lot of blood. Hen and Chimney are packing the wounds and stabilizing what they can and Bobby is calling Dispatch to relay messages for a transfusion.
"Blood type, B-pos, no known allergies," Buck rattles off to Bobby and Hen, helping to lift Tommy, collared and strapped on a backboard, onto the gurney. His jaw is tight and his hands are steady. "His emergency contact is..."
He falters as Tommy is wheeled into the ambulance.
Eddie shoves him. "Get in there." When Buck turns to look at him, eyes wide, Eddie pushes him again. "Get in there. You're his emergency contact as far as we know, so go. Tommy won't survive your delay."
That spurs Buck into moving with alacrity. The ambulance pulls out, sirens screaming, and Eddie feels his heart pounding in his mouth.
Then he feels Bobby standing beside him. "They haven't patched up?"
"They're idiots," Eddie says with heartfelt vehemence.
Bobby sighs.
--
Eddie goes to the hospital three hours later, after the shift. Buck is still in his uniform, so Eddie passes him his duffel and shoos him off to change.
"What news?" Eddie asks when Buck joins him again.
"They've stopped the bleeding," Buck says, closing his eyes. "Now they need to work on the impalement."
Eddie sits next to his best friend. He doesn't speak.
"I'm done," Buck says suddenly, sounding like he's gargled gravel. "I'm done. When he wakes up, I'm gonna... I don't know what I'm gonna do, but I am not doing this stupid 'pause button' shit any longer."
Oh thank God. Eddie can stop feeling like he's a child caught between divorced parents.
Then, because he is and always has been a realist, he asks, "What if he doesn't wanna press the play button?"
Buck looks a little sick. He clenches his jaw and shakes his head. "Then we want different things out of this. And I'd rather it hurt all at once now than later." His eyes look shockingly blue against the paleness of his face.
Eddie pats his friend's knee, and leans back to grab some shut-eye.
--
Eddie takes on the bulk of Buck-sitting duties for the next four days, spelled by Bobby. (Buck takes time off. No one begrudges it.) Maddie manages to get Buck to go home to shower but she can't make him sleep in his own bed.
Convenient that Tommy crashed just before our off days, Eddie thinks, a little bitchily, the day he comes back after a shift.
Man broke Buck's heart. Eddie figures he's due a little bitchiness.
It takes five false alarms before Tommy is truly awake and alert enough to register Buck and Eddie are there.
The heart rate monitor beeps a little more urgently.
"I'm here, honey," Buck murmurs, taking Tommy's hand immediately and squeezing it. "Relax, okay? Docs and nurses gonna look at you for a bit first."
Tommy blinks, and on his horribly pale and scruffy face is a ghost of a relieved smile. He can't talk, but his mouth forms something that sounds suspiciously like "eh en", or "Evan", and Buck smiles so brightly that he probably powered the machines with its intensity.
Eddie feels the ground under his feet right itself as the doctor and nurses take over. Yeah, that pause button is going away. He sends a message to the group chat.
Hen replies, Bets on when they move in together. $5 min.
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He canonically cannot be mean, help me.
#HE HAS TO TRY REAL HARD TO SAY MEAN SHIT EVEN TO HIS WORST ENEMY#HES SO- HES SO PERFECT AHHHH#FUCK EVERYBODY ELSE HES THE ONLY ONE#i need him hes so sweet gosh#he has to make efforttttt goshhh im sobbing hes so- literally how can u hurt him and make him sadddd#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#toshinori yagi#all might
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You never let me in, Buck sends, two of three sheets fully winded, and when he kicks his leg over the coffee table he nearly knocks over three empties.
They do this thing, right? Buck gets upset and before the tears can fall, because he's cried too many fucking times already, he makes himself angry. Picks at something that has come up every time he's done a post-mortem on the last six months.
And then he sends that shit to Tommy. Because - because who the fuck else is he supposed to talk to about it? The guy who'd sucked him off in the hallway of a nightclub two weeks ago? The woman who'd spent an hour quietly helping Buck understand that yeah, he was very much bi, and yeah, some people did not like that shit? Maddie, or Chim, or Hen or Eddie, who still might interact with him on the job? Bobby? Fuck, not Bobby.
Bobby who'd blinked at Buck and offered platitudes and apologized to Buck like it was somehow his fault Tommy was good people but he was the kind of good people who just walked out on something that could have been something.
I should have pushed more. I know I should have. I just thought since I was trying to share everything, you were too.
My mistake.
Three months and Buck isn't over it. He's far enough into the mourning process that he thinks this one is always gonna sting, and not for the reasons Tommy thinks.
That's not fair. I'm sorry.
The texts get delivered. Tommy reads them. Buck's had read receipts on since the first time Tommy went quiet on a call and Buck freaked out a little - but back then they were still working towards something. Back then, sometimes Tommy would pull out his phone and open the thread just to give Buck sign of life.
He was always doing that. Heading shit off at the pass.
Buck had just never realized he'd be able to do it to hurt him, just as well as take care of him.
Every four weeks like clockwork Buck gets a response. He has no fucking idea why it's four weeks, what the third Thursday of the month has to do with Tommy feeling gracious enough to give Buck some clarity. He'd never known enough about Tommy, is the thing he's coming around to. He'd done everything he could to bring Tommy in, make him a part, and Tommy had let him. Tommy had distracted him with quippy words and a clever tongue and with being so fucking willing to be integrated into Buck's life that Buck just - hadn't noticed.
No one will say it, but he Bucked It Up in the worst kind of way.
He's waited until Third Thursday to send these texts. He actually hasn't sent anything at all, until this moment, and he wonders if Tommy noticed. If he cared. Tommy picks and chooses from Buck's random thoughts, parses out details like he's reading from a manual and Buck is off topic two thirds of the time. Buck doesn't actually know why he's been answering, all this time. He wonders if, in the last four weeks of silence, he thought he was finally done with Buck.
He wonders if it had hurt.
Buck sets his phone down to stand, skating across to the kitchen in his socks for the pizza rolls in the oven.
His diet is shit. His body feels like crap. He's one more drunken nights sleep on the couch away from emptying the rack in his fridge down the drain and giving sobriety a try. The last person he'd slept with had hinted that they'd prefer not to use condoms and Buck had almost let them.
Buck has worth. He knows he does. It's just sometimes when he remembers that every person he's ever loved has either walked out on him or let him walk away when he needed them, he struggles to find that worth.
His life has meaning, and all that jazz.
Buck sort of wonders if Tommy hasn't finally blocked his number, as he tosses a too-hot pizza roll in his mouth and huffs on the lava cheese burning his tongue. After the last message Buck had sent, three weeks ago, he wouldn't exactly be surprised.
(This is basically just an unhinged grief journal with an unreliable second narrator. Do you know what it's like to realize you're still in love with someone who never let you know them?)
There's been no response to that. Fair. Buck hadn't even actually said the words. No, he'd jumped right into the sharing a life part, cart before the horse as always when emotions were high.
The pizza rolls get tipped onto a plate and are immediately swimming in the heavy pour of ranch he'd prepared after he set the oven to preheat.
It cools them off a lot quicker than popping a hole in each seam and waiting.
It's been eight years since Buck has really even thought about that little trick.
When he opens his phone there's no response. No receipt. Just stark words waiting to be acknowledged.
I gave you my family, Tommy. You didn't even introduce me to your team at Harbor.
It's startling to realize after the fact. He doubts Tommy had meant it that way, but he'd basically spent six months being love bombed only to have the rug ripped right out from under his feet.
And yet. Months later and he still wants to know. Know why. Know how he could have done it, with tears in his eyes, with full awareness that it was already gonna hurt. Know Tommy - anything he'd part with, really, that wasn't something every random acquaintance also knew.
Cool, he'd been jealous of what Buck and the 118 had. (Buck had tried to give him that. Or at least he thought he had.)
Great, he didn't talk to his dad and Gerrard was a shitty captain. (Buck had spent an hour once explaining the first time he and his dad had spoken about Daniel without screaming at each other. Tommy had listened to the rants about Gerrard and offered physical comfort and a 'sounds like him' and Buck had just been so relieved to have an ally amongst the 'life is just like this sometimes' crowd that he'd never examined that.)
He was a Kinsey six who'd been engaged to the first woman Buck had ever really loved and they'd never dug deeper than that.
And Buck had apparently interpreted some of the shit he'd said that night wrong, but he still doesn't think it's fucking fair that Tommy can't trust him to know his own fucking mind well enough to know he hates sleeping around and he'd found the sort of connection he was looking for. He'd found it. Even with the lack of reciprocation. Even with the quiet behind Tommy's eyes that he'd never let Buck in on. Even with the -
His phone buzzes on the coffee table.
Can we talk?
Buck kinda hates those words in that order now. They'd been the start of something twice, but they'd always been leading to an end, if Tommy had his way.
Once every four weeks, apparently, Buck sends back and takes a vicious bite.
His phone chimes with an incoming call.
Buck stares at the name he hasn't had the stomach to remove the little heart from. Lets it ring through to voicemail and then shoves three more pizza rolls into his mouth and doesn't care if they burn off his taste buds.
His phone rings again.
"What?"
"I'm outside your building. Didn't want to make any assumptions that I'd be welcome without asking first."
Buck can feel his ribs cracking under the lurch of angry laughter. "What the hell?"
"Well the parking around here is miserable again, so I figure that's a sign."
"Are you driving right now?"
"Hands off. I'm on Bluetooth. So. Should I circle the building a fifth time or call it now and go home?"
Buck gets stuck on fifth time.
There's no way he hadn't been driving since at least before Buck sent that first text.
Buck sighs. There's absolutely no reason to be hopeful about that. For all he knows, Tommy has just decided dousing any residual flames is just another thing he has to do in person.
"My Jeep's in the shop. I'll buzz you into the garage."
Tommy's silent for a long, long moment. The quip comes anyway. "I keep telling you that thing is a money pit."
"I'm not really feeling the flirty banter, right now, Tommy, so maybe just let me know when you're at the gate."
He does. He hangs up the phone twenty seconds later with a plain "See you soon."
Buck doesn't have time to change. Fix his hair. Hide the sheet pan with half a dozen pizza rolls still laying on it, because he'd cooked way too many again.
(He could absolutely do one of these things but if Tommy's gonna throw this at him, he's getting every little slovenly habit Bucks's picked up since he walked out that door.)
The knock comes while Buck's shoving the last two rolls on his plate into his mouth.
He's still chewing with his mouth open to blow out the steam when he swings the door open, and Buck feels the first inklings of pleasure ripple through him at the sight of Tommy.
He looks like shit.
"You look like shit."
Tommy's brow ticks up. He stares pointedly at the glob of not-cheese that's going to absolutely ruin this sweatshirt.
"That tends to happen when you spend an hour in an armchair two sizes too small picking at trauma you've been hiding from your therapist for six years."
Buck opens the door wider. Holy crap. Tommy might legitimately be more fucked up than Buck.
Tommy's smile is strained. "Can I come in?"
Buck holds his gaze. His eyes are a little red. He's got a red spot along the side of his neck, like he's been rubbing at it. Buck only recognizes it as a comforting motion because he's replayed him doing it half a million times right before he ended things.
"Depends. Is this the last time you respond to my mean, rude, asshole texts for an hour after therapy rubs you raw?" Third Thursday Therapy, is apparently what does it. Buck is - god. He just wants -
"God, I hope not," Tommy says, and Buck takes a step to the side to let Tommy in.
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Interview
CWs: references to noncon, violence
1. Would you rather - Rope or Chains?
R: Rope.
W: Chains, dear god, chains any day. Ropes fucking burn.
2. If Whumpee had multiple Whumpers, who is their favourite? For Whumpers, which Whumpee was your favourite?
R: Yeah, I’ve got a favorite. A couple years back I had a Whumpee who fought me at every turn. He'd throw his food at me, cuss me out, and try to attack me. One time he scratched absolute shit outta my arms. Anyways, I got tired of his shitty attitude and decided to kill him. I didn't keep it a secret, I told him he was gonna die. But when I went in to do it, he changed completely. No more screaming, no spark in his eye. He got quiet. Heh, he got all lovey dovey with me even. You know, lots of people say they’ll do anything if only you’ll spare their life. I never did cash in on that promise, but on this Whumpee, I put it to the fucking test. Heh. He let me do whatever I wanted to him. Depraved, horrible things, that would make the most degenerate man blush. Heh, and even though he was crying through most of it, he still pretended to like everything I did to him. And god. You should’ve seen his eyes when I told him I was still gonna kill him. That look. I think about it still.
W: I can’t. glances over at Whumper. Next question please.
3: In your opinion, what is the best way to train a pet?
R: Humans are fickle fucking beasts. You have to break down someone’s pride in order to train them. I start off with food deprivation, that usually helps me gauge what kind of fight I’m in for.
W: Positive reinforcement has always worked for me… I’ve only ever had a pet bearded dragon though.
4: Broken ribs or bullet wound?
R: Both.
W: These questions are uncomfortable to answer. But, uh, bullet wound I guess. Assuming it didn’t graze any organs.
5: Preferred type of gag?
R: I like a fabric gag. Or a simple piece of duct tape. Sometimes they come off and I get to squeeze a little scream out of Whumpee, and then I put a fresh one right back on. I kinda like the cycle of it.
W: I don’t have a preference… none? I guess the metal bit one isn't the worst of them. It hurts my teeth but at least I can still kinda breathe.
6: Burned or stabbed?
R: Stabbed.
W: Stabbed, I guess?
7: Favourite stress position?
R: An old-fashioned hogtie. I guess I’m unimaginative but I don’t get too crazy into the BDSM shit. Who has the patience for that?
W: Uhh.. just, handcuffs behind my back. Something relatively comfortable.
8: Have you given or received any Brands? What do they signify?
R: Heh. No. Never been branded. I certainly have had my fun branding Whumpee though.
W: I… have two… Uhm. One on my chest that, thank Christ, is almost all the way healed. It said, uh, swine. The other one is on my back, it’s a lot worse. I don’t know what it says but I can feel it so it’s um, it’s here to stay, I guess.
R: It says Nice Try. Remember?
W: Not really.
R: From your second half-hearted escape attempt. Didn't realize you forgot. But I did hit you pretty fucking hard that night.
9: Broken arm or broken leg?
R: Leg.
W: Arm. A million times, arm.
10: How did you get here? Why are you the way that you are?
R: I live here. Far as I know, I’ve always been 'like this'-- whatever the hell that means. And I don’t see a problem with it. We’re all free to do as we like, so that’s what I fucking do.
W: I dunno. I, I was outside, it was dark and I think it was raining…yeah… heading home from the bar. I didn’t drink that much. I didn’t live that far, either, so the rain wasn’t a problem. I remember falling down and then… I woke up here. And I’ve been here ever since.
11: What is your biggest regret?
R: I wish this Whumpee could’ve learned a thing or two from my defiant Whumpee in the second question you asked. I wanna get my dick sucked like that every fucking night.
W: Regrets... yeah, I've got a few. One stands out. It was late at night, Whumper didn't tie me up. I snuck out of my cell and I made it to the steps. Almost to the top, nearly all the way out. The door was unlocked and cracked open a little, I thought I could make a run for it and—
R: —I was waiting for you at the top. Heh. I wanted to see if you'd run, and you sure tried to. Not so much after that, though.
12: Is there a line you won’t cross? For Whumpee, what do you most fear Whumper might do?
R: A line I wouldn’t cross? Uhhh…. No. No, I don’t think so. I’ll cross any fucking line. turns to Whumpee, grinning. So what are you afraid of, Whumpee?
W: I, um. Does he really have to be here when I answer these questions?
R: Tell them, Whumpee.
W: Can I whisper it to you? (he’s already done so much to me, so fucking much… it’s dumb but I don’t want him to shave my head.)
R: smirks. You know I heard that.
13: What lessons have you taken away from your experience?
R: Everything has been the same old, same old for me. Guess this Whumpee’s lasted longer than the rest of ‘em. He’s coming up on a year soon. Kind of impressive he’s stuck around this long and hasn’t given me a reason to kill him yet.
W: I don’t know. I do what I’m told so I can eat. I take it day by day. I guess the lesson I’ve learned is that abandoning pride is the only way to survive…
14: Whip or cane?
R: Whip.
W: Yeah. Whip.
R: Didn’t expect you to say that. Noted.
15: Drugged or coherent?
R: Depends on the situation. Drugging them is useful for transport but I don’t much like it when they’re too dazed to understand what’s happening. Sometimes they fall asleep, too.
W: Drug me any fucking day. I don’t care. I’ll take whatever you have.
16: What are your true, honest feelings about each other? Is there some part of you that cares for the other at all?
R: Sometimes I like to touch him. He’s warm and it’s funny when he tries to squirm away. Plus I like it when he begs me to stop. But do I care about him? …eh. Sure, sorta. He’s my plaything.
W: Erm. Thanks, I guess. For me… Whumper is the reason I’m here. I guess I’m appreciative for the food… but he does hurt me. A lot. Constantly.
R: You're very welcome.
17: What is your favourite thing about the other? A personality trait, a physical feature, anything
R: He’s got pretty hair. A kind of pretty face, too. Yeah, almost like a girl. Heh. And he makes good sounds when he’s screaming.
W: Ah. Fuck. I really don’t know how to answer this…
R: Come on. What’s your favorite part?
W: Um. Well, I'll say this: Whumper is smart. Scary smart. I don’t think anyone would ever imagine how smart. I don’t know. I don’t. It’s… terrifying.
18: Do you have relationships outside of each other? Friends, family - if yes, do they know about Whumpee? Do they care?
R: Yes, yes, and no.
W: I have a half sister in, uh, Arkansas. We’re not close, obviously… used to have friends I guess, but it’s been a long time since I saw them…
19: What other hobbies do/did you have?
R: Video games.
W: I used to play saxophone. A lifetime ago.
20: For Whumper, is there any chance you’ll let Whumpee go? For Whumpee, have you ever thought about life after you’re free?
R: No. Sorry. Realistically, it doesn’t make sense to ‘let him go.’
W: I, uh, I used to think about it. I don't anymore… like he said.. realistically it doesn’t make any sense.
R: Mm. Good answer, Whumpee.
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this interview uses the questions from Character Ask Game post by @inhurtandincomfort !! thanks homie!
((more Whump))
#whumpblr#whump writing#whump#whump interview#idk lol this was a fun exercise in writing#cw: noncon#whump drabble
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Im seeing people trying to say JEY is the villain in this bloodline story for standing up to Roman. Did everyone just FORGET the last four years?
Also, I don't know why people want everything black and white. The reason the bloodline is as popular as it is, that has made the stars it has is because of storytelling that includes character growth. These characters have gone on a journey. I think Samis words to Jimmy apply to ALL these characters' journeys, that these aren't bad people, they just make bad decisions.
A lot of times, the story tells us exactly WHY these characters are doing these things, even if it's twisted and kind of dumb we know why and not just for the love of a surprise twist. We knew Jey, Sami, and Jimmy were going to turn on Roman because the narrative showed us leading to it. The narrative shows us why Roman does the things he does, not to be a mustache, twirling heel, but a complex fully realized character who is reacting to burdens hes been given, the struggles hes faced and his actions are a product if that.
These characters have depth, who would not be able to pull off the stories stories in the hands of lesser actors. That's why the emotional beats are with each other because a lot of their peers do not have a drop of the authenticity in their characters that they do and it comes off when their in eachothrrs orbit no matter how many eyedrops their coworkers use when they try for a fraction of that emotion.
So to call Roman the Villian, Jey the Villian, Sami the Villian is a disservice to their work and shows the audience inability to see how a character can be Grey. They don't acknowledge that Roman did some really FUCKED up shit to Jey. It also shows they don't realize that narratively it was pretty clear, Jey was Romans favorite, that it was Romans love for him that made Roman believe he was doing the right thing in how he treated Jey. How he treated all of them.
I can acknowledge I can understand the context of the story their telling (so far because this is wrestling and not a literary classic). I still think Roman is about to go on an amazing journey to find himself away from deep buried hurt, but to think Roman is the victim, that everyone is just picking on poor baby Roman is a disservice to the character he created. He has been THE victim in circumstances, but in the case of Jey turning on him? No. Sami turning on him is a little more complex because he wanted in the family especially when they were at their worst and that's why I think they acknowledged that narratively.
So, to call JEY, the villain is just peek delusion, and you just don't want to acknowledge what Roman did. I think Roman needs to apologize to Jey, not just for Jey but for himself, too, because Romans got a lot of healing to do. They all need to acknowledge what they've done to each other. I would also appreciate it if Jimmy could get in on this healing journey too thanks.
#the bloodline#wwe#jey uso#jimmy uso#sami zayn#sami uso#roman reigns#ranting session#old lady shakes fist at cloud
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LOOK AT MY FREAK WEEK FIC BOY (CANNIBALISM) (INVOLVES MENTIONS OF GUTS, BLOOD, AND OTHER SHIT LIKE THAT) ("a mouth to bite with; wouldnt your corpse just look so nice?")
It’s bad. Very bad. Vyncent halfway is understanding the words here. He’s found little to nothing to eat, and most has been purged only minutes after consumption. His throat is clawing its way out. It needs something it can process. Something like home. Something that he can survive and live with, because the gods know even their place in the terrain was due long ago.
His eyes, hurting from just how different the light here was, lock onto someone. A random passerby. His head hurts. His stomach hurts. His teeth are itching for something. They’re just right there. He didn’t know them. It’d cause him no harm. It’d be fine.
He remembers this feeling too well. It’s not his first time. Vyncent remembers many a time the hunger would hit him, never just was this needed for survival. He knew what skin could taste like. He’s wrapped his tongue around things that were just too humanoid for comfort. He knows how blood is meant to taste. It felt wrong on those rare occasions he indulged, washing his mouth from the tastes. It was never wrong, it wasn’t right, it was just more food. Just more food.
He wiped his watering mouth.
He was not the worst at stealth. He however was not aware how loud he could be, his ears feeling filled with water. They turned around just as Vyncent wrapped his fingers around them. They were a bit shorter than him, a struggle at it too. Rounded ears that barely jut out from the face, and shrunken eyes with rounder pupils. They were smaller then what he knew them to be, he figured it was a fear response. He normally had a half mask as to block out the strange air, but he dragged it down, accidentally catching a lick of his carnivorous teeth, sharpened and ready for this moment, hungry.
In the small area between the tall and strangely constructed figures, the dark surrounded them, one where he felt most comfortable, the light shining at him better with the setting sun. It felt earlier than what he was used to, but everything here is not what he’s used to. The person struggles in his arms. He finds it may be best to start with a blade. Might have protection or be poisonous.
He bites in.
It is not the flesh he knows. The taste difference is minimal, but there. The path to the bone feels less blocked. The meat inside is less thick. Feels like the arm is thinner. Of course, his path starts at the shoulders, sinking in his jaws. The fabric is minimal bother for him, he tears through easily as he pulls back, flesh coming with. As he spits out the fabric, he sees the blood spurt out like a fountain. He wipes his mouth, he knows he’s not done yet.
They do what Vyncent can only assume is yelling. As they try to flee, he grips their arm, flipping them over his head and onto the floor. He hears the faintest crack as their legs hit stone. Tears stream their face, looking behind Vyncent at the world there he never understood. Holding this arm and on a knee, he bites into the wrist, hitting bone quickly. He manages to almost tear off the hand, yanking off the little bits left attached. They’re stuck in fear as they watch him use his teeth to hold onto bone and remove them out, eating what’s left. He feels weak pushes and loud screams as he goes for the motherload. Wielding his dagger, he plunges it into the chest and cuts up, getting the full thing. He rips the cut wide open with his hands. He pulls out guts that seem different than regular ones and rips off flesh bits from the opened wound. He can taste the blood. It had a more distinct metallic taste. It wasn’t too horrid. The meat held good value in its texture for sure. He couldn’t help but to dig in, he was hungry, and you don’t waste good food.
As they scream, its words that bounce off his ears, cries that are left to unknowing ears. One may say it felt wrong, the way his teeth could so easily pierce the flesh as he tore out chunks and pieces. Maybe a bit of a shiver went down his back as he looked in eyes that lost shine, chewing down scraps of skin to satiate something. It couldn’t have been any rewarding, as he heard drowned what he could figure were concerns through ringing ears, loud sounds behind that he thinks were attached to the strange metal beasts. He had to go. It felt strange to hold someone once more, even if they felt slightly off and were not breathing anymore. He knew he couldn’t just leave it here. He’d get hungry again.
He’d need to carve a way to survive again.
#jrwi freak week#tw cannibalism#tw gore#tw guts#tw blood#jerwee supreme#the bright smoothie of words#this is going to ao3 now but take it tumblr version for now
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id lovee to hear ur rankings of the comic book men from appearing to be the most normal to something is obviously wrong w them (if that makes sense... like,,,, who is and isnt an obv red flag)
ur writing keeps me fed :3
𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐂 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐌𝐄𝐍 ��𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐆𝐒…
!!! GN reader, manipulation, gaslighting, mentions of stalker-ish picture-taking, mentions of schizophrenia and anxiety, poor treatment of mental illness, mentions of violent behaviors, murderous Bucky Barnes, Tim Drake (he’s just a problem), mentions of suicidal tendencies, can be translated as platonic or romantic.
EAAAAATT!!!!! EEEEAAAAATTTT!!!!!!!!! EAT MY WRITING!!!! CONSUME IT!!!!!!!!!!!
Remember, this is from least to most, meaning we’ll talk about the seemingly well-adjusted folks first and gradually move up to the, “okay, what the fuck is wrong with him” peeps.
Wally West: The way he’s playing everyone like a fiddle is downright disrespectful. He’s filled to the brim with green flags, easily appearing as one of the safest guys on the planet. Even when you start to suspect something, you have to constantly second guess yourself, because come on… it’s Wally. What the fuck can he do wrong? Don’t even bother voicing any of your concerns. No one — and I mean no one — will believe you. Having problems with Wally West? The embodiment of a warm summer evening? Damn, that sounds like a you problem. Poor Wally, having to deal with a crazy weirdo.
Dick Grayson: He’s got an amazing personality and pretty privilege working for him. At this rate, the masses manipulate themselves. Only those who are extremely perceptive will pick up on the cold glint in his eyes, and even then, the mystique only adds to his charm. By the time you realize he’s been hiding a darker side, it’s too late. Everyone’s too captivated by how endearing Dick is to hear you out. Even those who know him personally — who know about his struggles and rough patches — think you’re full of shit. Dick’s an emotionally mature man, so why don’t you just talk it out with him?
Steve Rogers: This is a bit unfair, considering the leverage he’s granted as Captain America, but hey… work what you got. While it may seem obvious to you that he’s way too overbearing and protective, good luck trying to get other people on your side. Everyone else thinks it’s a part of his 40s charm. Social norms were just different back then; why can’t you be more appreciative of his old-fashioned care? Besides, you’re probably overreacting. Is it really that bad? Steve is the leader of the Avengers, so maybe you’re just taking his authoritative demeanor the wrong way.
Clark Kent: I’m gonna be so for real, any man from a fuckass state like Kansas is going to come with some personality quirks. People will probably give him the benefit of the doubt by default. Just a farm boy trying to navigate the big city and can’t even hurt a fly. Sure, he can be odd at times, but nothing makes him an inherently bad guy. This is the same man that helps old people cross the street, for god’s sake! He most definitely means well, it’s just a matter of setting boundaries with him. What’s the worst he can do?
Remy LeBeau: Despite what differing opinions may say about The Gambit, Remy seems like he’s got his head on his shoulders. His “red flags” are more on the blurry side. Do you count excessive flirting as a red flag? What about hiding behind charisma and a fake ego instead of going to therapy? Some people may say yes, others no. But in terms of glaring red flags, Remy’s relatively clean. We’ve all got our issues, no? Being a thief doesn’t make you a psycho. That being said, due to Remy’s shifty past, people may be more inclined to listen should you ever express that something’s wrong.
Peter Parker: Honestly… he’s a bit of a weirdo. Nothing obvious at first, but the longer you know him, the more behaviors you may pick up on that make you go, “oh… well… that’s weird”. Take his Polaroid obsession, for example. He’s got at least one photo in every jacket pocket, dozens in his wallet, and a fuck ton in his desk. Poor guy accidentally spilled them all over the ground once, which naturally sparked rumors. But Peter’s a sweetheart. Clingy, but still a sweetheart. Maybe he’s just a little messed up due to everything he’s lost in his life.
Bruce Wayne: Okay. Red flags in the playboy billionaire Bruce Wayne? Absolutely unheard of. He’s an absolute angel. According to all of the stan accounts out there, he could do nothing wrong. But red flags in the real Bruce Wayne? Where do we even begin. Distrusting as fuck, paranoid, argumentative, the occasional fit of violence, a known manipulator and liar… want me to keep going, because I can. It’s very hard to rank Bruce due to the ginormous contrast between general public opinion and those who actually know him, so he goes smack in the middle. Billionaire Bruce Wayne would never be a horrible person to you, but the real Bruce Wayne 100% would.
Jaime Reyes: Because of how mental illness is stigmatized, Jaime’s unfortunately labeled to be dangerous. But it’s not really his fault. That damn scarab has him muttering to himself like a crackhead, and naturally assumptions will be made. When actually given a chance, people will learn that Jaime’s a nice kid. He just probably struggles with schizophrenia or really bad anxiety. Yes, his paranoia can get bad, but again; mental illness. He’s never proven himself to a threat, despite what others may think. He just needs help (but there’s no way to combat the manipulation of Khaji Da. Jaime lost that battle the moment he became Blue Beetle).
Hal Jordan: Oh, yeah. He’s got red flags alright. But they’re mostly normal ones, like his ego and horrendous stubborn streak. Lots of guys out there are like that, and are they considered freaks? No. Well, not all of them. However, it is a bit concerning that he’s willing to throw hands at the drop of a hat. Bro’s one major freak out away from catching assault charges like they’re Pokémon. But if it’s any consolation, it should be noted that he hasn’t gotten into major legal trouble. On Earth. Yet. Some call him rough around the edges, others call him a severely troubled individual. Either way, he definitely needs to seek professional help.
Scott Summers: MAJOR red flags. He’s an overbearing control freak that really needs to work on his… well… his everything. Emotional intelligence, temper, daddy issues… yeah, no. He’s an amazing leader, but probably someone you should steer clear from otherwise. Most wouldn’t be surprised if you two were having issues. It’s not like he wears all of his problems on his sleeve; the iceberg goes much deeper than that. Though he sure as hell doesn’t present himself as a well-adjusted member of society. Proceed at your own risk. Don’t say you weren’t warned, because you probably were.
Bucky Barnes: This is the opposite of Captain America’s case. His reputation as the Winter Soldier kind of skews the perception of him to be a walking red flag. And you know, he really is. Bucky is extremely dangerous. Down to snap necks anytime, anywhere, no amount of charm or endearing quirks will make people feel fully safe around him. His history of violence did not stop post-brainwashing. And it’s not like he’s hiding it, either. There’s this crazed gleam in his eyes that just screams “fuck around and find out,” no matter what his mood is. Who in their right mind would involve themself with THE Winter Soldier?! Yeah, no shit you’re having issues with him. He is an issue.
Tim Drake: Bro is the epitome of “you’re scaring the hoes.” He could be walking down the street — face neutral, hands in his pockets — and total strangers will get the sense that something is deeply wrong with him. The aura around him exudes the reddest of flags. Yes, his face and intelligence are attractive, but even those who have fallen for his pretty boy swag can’t help but sigh dreamily and think, “he really needs to be institutionalized.” Disturbing humor. Creepy staring. Mood swings. Suicidal tendencies. Sadomasochism to the max. The list goes on and on and on. If Dead Dove: Do Not Eat was a person, it’d be him. What were you expecting? It’s Tim fucking Drake.
#❥ CALL INCOMING: DO YOU LIKE SCARY MOVIES?#❥ TW: YANDERE#❥ YANDERE CHARACTER#❥ PLATONIC YANDERE#❥ ROMANTIC YANDERE#❥ YANDERE BRUCE WAYNE#❥ YANDERE BUCKY BARNES#❥ YANDERE CLARK KENT#❥ YANDERE DICK GRAYSON#❥ YANDERE HAL JORDAN#❥ YANDERE JAIME REYES#❥ YANDERE PETER PARKER#❥ YANDERE REMY LEBEAU#❥ YANDERE SCOTT SUMMERS#❥ YANDERE STEVE ROGERS#❥ YANDERE TIM DRAKE#❥ YANDERE WALLY WEST#❥ YANDERE VARIOUS X READER#❥ GN READER
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boy it sure is fun seeing people you never see and dreading them asking about the last thing they heard about you last you saw them bc back then it was positive and now it is Trauma
#:)))))))#very excited to possibly see friends. very not excited about having to explain that Shit Went Down#i know i don’t have to say a lot but still#ughhghghgh#this is a friend i desperately want to actually hang out with too#but we haven’t actually hung out in sooo long that now it’s like#can i even ask. bc we don’t really talk#i want to not be a coward but it’s the anxiety wall that i just push into so much#worst he can say is no but that shit hurts!!!!!#b:personal#text post
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Who is the best and who is the worst to sit next to on the plane?
no one could agree who unanimously is the best insisting their seatmate, previous or otherwise, was (ekky→benny, benny→reino, sasha⇆bobby, swaggy→forsy, luosty→mikksy)
but the worst? with a whopping two votes against him (benny, swaggy) is ekky because hes loud and forces guys into joining the poker table 😭😭😭
special mention forsy and mikksy copping out of the question like theyre carebear incarnates and going everyone is the best :)
Primetime Panthers | 10.30.24 (x)
#carter verhaeghe#aaron ekblad#sam bennett#sam reinhart#evan rodrigues#aleksander barkov#sergei bobrovsky#gustav forsling#eetu luostarinen#niko mikkola#florida panthers#2425#the editing is SO EVIL#“ekkys loud” (cuts to ekky going well /some/ would argue that rodrigues is the best because hes /quiet/)#yeah ekky whos that censored some huh. you guys mustve squabbled about this before so many times#to know sams club existed on the plane. oh sams club...#i need to know the updated poker table layout with the departure of most cats who sat there#swaggy willingly sits at the poker table and gets shocked when the guy whos the worst at poker bats his eyelashes at him to join#my favourite thing is swaggy and benny who dont want to hurt ekkys delicate feelings and try to say it as softly as they can#swaggy looking at the door nervously like ekky is gonna burst in and whine about him choosing him as the worst#him getting even more nervous as he mentions forsy because god forbid he gets in between 542#[insert sasha all by myself swinging his legs as hes sat alone on picture day pic]#bobby “i enjoy the convos i have with sasha :)” vs sasha “when i want to talk bobby is always sleeping” truly comical#also luosty... mikkolier or mikkoLIAR i need to know the spelling of this...#luosty and his shit eating grin as he teases mikksy#insert sasha's comment on mikksy where he goes yeah hes chill hes not as sensitive as lundy#mikksys soft yeah anytime someone mentions he loves people :(((#“a man of the people :D” oh they absolutely blasted the groupchat with all the “man of the people” comments people made#when mikksy chugged a beer at elbo room and cussed on local news oh dear god
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#boris was attacked by my neighbor's dog and i've been crying so much. i'm so scared#it's 9pm so my sister is driving him to a vet 1 hour away cause the vets near close at 7pm#idk why bad things keep happening to him i'm so heartbroken idk what i'll do if he dies#my neighbor is a cruel bitch cause this happened around 1 pm and she didn't tell us. she hid him in a room#she was gonna let him die like that#my sister was supposed to take me somewhere tomorrow so she came home one day earlier#i'd been crying all afternoon and i told her to please ask around and then they (w mom and brother) went to my neighbor's house#they brought him back and he looked very weak and with blood all over#my sister called a friend of hers who's a vet and she came to see him and adviced to take him to a vet clinic#cause he was bloated and there was air(?) and her face was worried when she said that cause.. where does air come from#plus he was breathing weird#i had the worst panic attack the whole time since they brought him from the neighbor's house until they left with him#i couldn't even speak cause i couldn't stop crying#now i'm calm but i'm so worried#if my sister hadn't come home today boris would be still hurt and locked in my bitch neighbor's house#cause my mom thought i was being paranoid :( she wasn't going to ask around#cause she thought boris would come back since he's been missing before#also my sister's the only one who can drive#:(#i'm so angry cause that bitch next door heard me calling boris name all afternoon and didn't say shit#i hate her. not only bc of this but she's suck a snake in general. she's always gossiping shit about everyone#she didn't do anything and locked him in a room for like 7 hours. maybe those hours were crucial#idk. if boris dies i'm gonna do some crazy shit to this bitch so she'll have a reason to call me crazy
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Outside of all of… that happening to Gojo, and finishing Snowfall the other day, eek……..
#I can live with what gege did to Gojo even though it hurts so much bro#but I can’t deal with what happened to Franklin bro that’s one of the worst character endings ever omg my chest….#i meant it in a ‘that’s so fucked up’ way not ‘this is badly written’ because it really does fit his character….. even though witnessing#such a strong and ambitious character turn into……. THAT in the end… bro…………. not Franklin 😭…#his pride left him in ruin… the fact that he actually still had ppl who were willing to stand by his side in the end and help him but he#couldn’t accept it because in his own words ‘I built this shit! and if I wanted to tear it down with my own hands than I will-‘ like he was#so used to being in charge.. the boss… never taking orders from the people who worked for him… and whenever any other character would make#suggestions or decide that they wanted to branch off he’d completely lose his shit because in his mind they’re all stronger together and he#felt like he was losing control of the circumstances that arose and that ‘if only they would’ve listened to ME then everything would’ve#been just fine-‘ and the crazy thing is… Franklin was usually right 😭 like 90% of the time but it’s just he couldn’t communicate with his#friends and peers without blowing up like a demon just because they made their own decisions lmfao#especially without him/his consent lmfaooo he was a control freak for sure#so many awful things wouldn’t have even happened if everyone stuck together and listened but at the same time other characters grew tired#of being underneath him and it was within their right to go do their own thing like I get it#so many things were going to wrong in the end 😭… also teddy is such a bitter bitch bro#the fact that Franklin willingly decided to become…. I can’t even say it…#in the end over receiving what he’d consider a handout is insane…….. living like that? in filth because he’s too prideful to ever work#under anyone ever again even if it’s with a trusted friend… the money really blinded him but I get it#if I had 73 mil stolen from me out of nowhere by a bitter white man just because I told him I didn’t want to do business with him anymore#in the 80’s then I’d lose it too but ong Franklin was too ambitious to end up like this…#he kind of character you’d just watch and instantly think to yourself ‘this guy could go anywhere he wants. he’s no caged bird…’#so it makes his ending even more devastating……..#rambling#if you ever watch snowfall don’t watch the last episode 🥺 please promise me you won’t?
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"You get to see her understanding of how things really are. And so that becomes much more present on the surface. (...) In this season, we get to see her fall deeper in love with him but also navigate those challenges. And also becoming an anchor for Rhett but also struggling with his decision, 'Is this what I want for my future as well, as much as I love this man?'." - Isa in an interview with The Knockturnal(x)
#outer range s2#outer range s2 spoilers#maria olivares#isabel arraiza#i want her to leave this relationship but also... not really??? idk man#truly no one can make maria angry like autumn can#i would LOVE to see the dynamic with her family like... what are her parents like?#because it seemed like she had been waiting for approval from a mother figure once cece hugged her...#they could never make me hate you maria olivares#i have seen articles say that her role seems reduced but i kind of have to disagree... i feel like she gets more scenes and more to do#if they mean that there's not much else to her this season besides her love for this man and her desire to leave they're kind of right?#but you also get to see her go against almost every instinct to run away but ultimately can't because of her love for him#which makes her both admirable and foolish#but sometimes love makes you do stupid shit... idk how it will pay off#i just don't want her to get hurt in the end#i DO in fact have a bias for her#it's obvious that there are parallels between rhett and royal but i see some similarities between cece and maria(very minor)#the denim jackets and hands in the pockets and (possibly?) their faith? although maria doesn't seem as religious#the more i think about it the more scared i am for her and rhett's future because i'm reminded of clana s7#like lana was also told that she's not a part of clark's future and she ended up leaving too?#i guess what i'm saying is that maria and lana are there in the moment but in the back of their minds they have doubts#obviously i don't like that she still doesn't trust him but at the same time... when is he planning to leave?#she can't wait forever for her life to start so ultimately if she has to leave without him she should...#but i'm so scared of them breaking up or her leaving him#also her moral compass is wavering like lana's did in that season so i feel like if he doesn't know she's been stealing he'll be let down#i wish we knew more about her dreams and ambitions... does she still wanna be a vet?#i know she doesn't want to break his heart so idk if she would leave but i'm just prepping for the worst#truly was worried for maria when isa was asked about her growth and she was like ''... not so much growth''#look i get to compare her to eurydice in hadestown because she worked with both patrick page and andré de shields /hj#maybe she sees leaving as a solution to their problems because she doesn't want rhett to choose between her and his family?
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I keep forgetting Eight is SIS a lot of the time because I could never decide if it was the right path for him or not and most of his interactions with Jonas were outright failures that only made him even more disinterested, but then Theron comes into the picture again. And of course that is a point of deliberation.
Theron feels a responsibility towards him after KOTXX for not realizing sooner that Eight was just following Lana's orders to an obedient T not out of his own personal desire or will, but the simple need to repay a life debt, a fact which escapes most of the Alliance and even Lana herself despite it directly opposing his usual behavior. As the kind of person who has to save those in front of him whether they like it or not, this guilts Theron immensely not only for being a part of the blind crowd but enabling a violent warmongering path for Eight that he realizes now may not have been Eight's wish after all, that he'd pegged him all wrong-- and worse, treated him like so.
Eight himself cares very little at this point whether Theron treats him favorably or not. He was here to be used, and he was used. It's the way he's always lived. For a time he might've had the small hope to understand Theron and Lana during SoR, but that faded very quickly come KOTXX. He lived the same way during Intelligence with the added benefit that he did care for those people as they cared for him, but it never removed the stain of the dirty business he'd permanently undertaken, only made it more acceptable as part of his life and not treated like dirty laundry the way the Alliance did.
Theron latches on to the small thought that they could've been different if he'd only tried to get to know Eight, and out of a desire to make things right in his mind, starts attempting to extend the proverbial olive branch even though it's an awkward and uncomfortable attempt that feels too little too late. He has to do something, and try as he might he's not the kind of guy who cuts people loose to stay out in the cold. And maybe part of that is residual guilt for not protecting the Sixth Line and Master Surro, his repeated failure to be responsible for those under his command. Eight is essentially his last chance to prove he can do right by others, even when they share no common ground or bond. It's the barren ground of their relationship that makes him want to try, even if he shouldn't be using him as his own redemption.
Somehow this results in Theron making it a personal point to be involved in Eight's life from them on after, SIS included: unofficially, he stays as his handler. He prides himself secretly on the notion that Eight seems to like Jonas even less than him, which is legendary given Eight's notoriously aloof attitude (but not much to brag about from an outside perspective) and the SIS more or less doesn't give a womp rat's ass whether Theron meddles as long as the ex-Imperial agent stays on a short leash, and that's.. fine with him. Theron wouldn't have asked regardless.
Still, he tries. Hopes at the very least he can keep the SIS' use of him to a bare minimum so what happened in the Alliance can never happen again, optimistic as that is. Checks on him often enough that it looks like they're officially assigned to one another, and even lets him go in and out of his own apartment as he pleases (Eight gets his own. as usual, he doesn't care for it much and it still makes Theron antsy that he'll come to it one day and find it completely abandoned, so this is fine).
Eight doesn't say much. Comments that the life is fine when asked, doesn't watch the holos but idly listens when he puts it on. Does his work and doesn't when he's off the clock. When asked about how he feels killing Imps, it makes Theron's blood run cold when Eight casually says that was his only job over there too.
Theron buys him some street food in an attempt to make something different. At the very least, Eight says it's better than rations.
#weird qpr losers at it again#swtor#ooc#rishi trio#he keeps hanging out with him bc he feels bad lol#they don't know what they are too each other and at this point they're too afraid to ask#theron to eight is the weird guy who keeps inserting himself into his business. not the worst thing to happen to him#eight to theron has turned into some kind of charge that he wants to see go from a weapon to... someone happier#ofc doesn't know how to do that or even fully know why so he's just. with him now#the SIS can't tell who's following who around#it *is* a direct parallel to Keeper's own treatment of Eight in the past#anyways it's just a really funny thought they still end up as weird roommates#and i STILL DONT KNOW if he'll pick the SIS or going back to ImpIntel#bc briefly imagined the absolute hurt Theron would feel seeing them on opposite sides again#and realizing he's right about his suspicions that Eight had no desire of his own during KOTXX seeing the way he goes back to cold busines#as his enemy and fighting for yet another side that cares not for him#but also it's just really fucking funny to randomly have your only debatable friend be an assassin who you're also trying to#take care of and you know he can kill 10 people without blinking but you'll feel like shit forever#if you don't convince him that coruscant hot caf is tasty actually#you also don't know if he likes you or not bc he doesn't say anything.
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i am being genuine, i think Zachariah is one of my favorite characters on this show
#him 🤝 Castiel: shits fucked I’m gonna go get drunk about it#literally he fascinates me I wanna poke him with a stick#‘whatever happened to personal loyalty’ NEED TO POKE HIM WITH NEEDLES AND FIGURE OUT HOW HE WORKS#okay okay okay okay it’s. like there is something to be said. about heaven’s reprogramming vs actually kicking angels out/killing them#that is last resort methods. I am gonna take Zach as being genuine there. what ABOUT loyalty huh?#the worst thing that can happen to an angel is getting kicked out like. Zach is one of the higher ups he’s an administrator of punishments#but is that punishment not better than the alternative?#an angel lobotomized is an angel saved. kept with the flock. personal loyalty. they worked so well for Heaven right up until they didn’t.#and he just. sets them right again. painfully. but sets them right. a gift for past service. forgiveness for new sins. wipe clean the slate.#also he really is just chilling at that bar. acting like he got fired.#but we know what him Actually being fired would look like. Heaven does not just let angels go#and when Michael arrives he assumes it’s to kill him so…#what im saying is zach’s getting mind games played with him too. he fails to get a yes? toss him out for a while. let him boil in the shame#and when he’s offered his job back he looks like he’s about to cry for the joy of it. LIKE#I DONT KNOW MAN I JUST FIND HIM SO COMPELLING THIS REWATCH#TERRIBLE TERRIBLE MAN. COMPELS ME THO.#he also gets points for singing when the saints come marching in. lmao. that’s the football song <3#I need to rewatch the Naomi episodes so I can compare them… angels dedicated so much to Heaven they’ll hurt their own siblings…#my favorite little cult leaders <3 well. leaders is misleading. cult middle management.#spn#Zachariah spn
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