#world gone wrong vibes

[amethystsoda]

wheeeeee family dinner tag rant 🙃

[bitchfitch]

If this is helpful I do think of your OC couples as that "you two are perfect for each other just never involve anyone else in the fucked up shit you have going on" reddit comment so seeing content for a non-OC ship w that dynamic would be neither disturbing nor surprising

ye i think the issue I'm having is that Mohg/Miquella is a ship i wouldn't normally go within a mile of based on the tags and archive warning that apply to it by default. It's two things that squick me out so bad i can't read a good portion of the fics for them on ao3 because some authors enjoy leaning into those aspects of their relationship a lot more than i do. which like, not shaming them but boy howdy is the back button important for their tag.

so i worry folk would have the same assumptions about them I would have had if i had just like, saw a fic and associated tags without a 100hr game worth of context

[thegenderfluidace]

Y’all….. y’all ever just binge read a series and are like welp now what (knowing full well you have multiple other story things that sound just as interesting or you need to get caught up on but the vibes aren’t right for it yet)

…..but also you should definitely just go to sleep but you also know that won’t happen till the vibes are right

[furylad]

Johnny's goals don't even make sense anymore as an engram. "I want to stick it to Arasaka" who in Arasaka lol? The old dead dude who used Soulkiller on you but who you know is dead because it's in my memories? His son and daughter who have nothing to do with you or what happened? or is it the hoards of brainwashed office workers and security guards that you want to "stick it to"?

I'm prob wanting too much from Phantom Liberty but my life for there to be an alternative "good" end that isn't just "yeah giving into your most aggressive and irrational impulses because Capitalism Bad while knowing these petty actions change nothing (because they've happened before and changed nothing then either!!) is the ideal ending :)"

it just annoys me. sometimes I feel like the writing team are brainless. this is why video game writing will never be taken seriously because characters and plot happens Just Because It'd Be Cool and the morals and motives the story ends up communicating are always like lmao what the fuck

like sorry the game keeps trying to insist to me that terrorism good and I'm the asshole for trying to find diplomatic and sensible options to things but I don't actually like the idea of killing 100s of corpo employees in a bloodbath because the voice in my head keeps insisting that's the best thing to do. idk how that ending was the "good" ending for years, when there's a bunch of people still being massacred but you've just decided you don't care about them :|

[sock-to-the-third]

Jamie: — It’s from Shakespeare.

Malik: My late husband? How did I not know this?

from World Gone Wrong pod, Ep304

[doraambrose]

One thing DC has gone wrong with batfamily comics is the fact that basically everyone has died. It makes it so when the person dies, there's no more shock or sadness because we all know that they're going to be resurrected.

When Jason died, it was a BIG DEAL. Because nobody thought that ROBIN would die. And die so violently. And he was a kid. It shook the comic world and changed Bruce. And then he stayed dead for like idk 10-15 years. Nobody thought he was coming back. And his death was something special. He was batmans biggest failure. That was the vibe and the reason for his resurrection.

But now, basically everyone has died and come back to life. It's no big deal and if I was in the comic universe and I heard a robin died, i would probably brush it off since they'll probably be alive again in like 3 weeks. It no longer provides the utter shock and suspense that Death in the Family did.

Anyway, DC has been too loose and repetitive with death and resurrection and that has basically made them lose edge and shock value in that arena

[caamboys]

What will your future spouse love about you?

pile 1-3

PILE ONE

🎶 blood orange - saint🎶

“ i like to see you live for more, you said it before, you wish id seen the saint you were before “

-

what they like about you mentally?

they like that you’re curious, energetic and a bit careless when you talk. they admire that you allow yourself to be who you are unapologetically. your future spouse has a more rigid, contained approach to life. they view you as someone who doesn’t hold themselves back, who speaks and acts freely without restraint. something about this pile screams freedom, that is what they like about you personality wise. when you stand on what is right, and don’t hesitate to call out what is wrong. even if it causes strife or problems, they admire your ability to speak the truth and be yourself despite the pressure of society. they might like to bicker or tease you just so you guys can have banter together, they think it’s hot to see you be fierce for what you believe in. they like to debate with you.

what do they like about you physically?

something about your appearance or demeanor is otherworldly. you have a dreamy aspect to the way you look, sometimes when they look at you it feels surreal to them. you have an aesthetically pleasing ethereal vibe to the way you dress, or even look naturally. this pile might have sleepy eyes, or dark under eyes, or even dark eyes in general and they think that it’s hot. i see here theyre very attracted to you when you’re relaxed or in a state of calmness. im seeing someone sitting, with bed hair and sleep in their eyes, and your future spouse absolutely simping over it. another thing they will like is if this pile may have gone through some sort of transformation or change. they admire that about you as well. if you haven’t had any big transformation, they like when you take on different aesthetics and constantly switch up the way you dress or the makeup styles you do. you’ll go through multiple phases style-wise while you guys date and they’ll love it.

overall energy: pile one, I kept channeling so many different personality traits, so many different physical attributes. it was so hard to hone in one certain aspect they enjoy, because the next card would be describing a completely different energy. you have many different qualities your future spouse appreciates all the same. at first I was channeling them being attracted to you in a youthful energetic energy, then i started channeling them liking you when you’re in a darker energy. your future spouse just likes you overall lmao.

side note: you’re multidimensional and your future spouse is highly aware of this, and they admire you for it so don’t be afraid to show off all the sides of yourself. I love the polarity between what they prefer mentally versus physically. mentally they admire your more intellectually charged energy, while physically they like your dreamy relaxed energy. you can shapeshift around them! they like that lol

pile two

🎶ILLIT - Magnetic 🎶

🎶“This time i want You you you you, like it’s magnetic“

“ baby, you’re my crush, you’re my crush “ 🎶

what do they like about you mentally?

they love your optimism. either you or your future spouse has dealt with or currently deals with anxiety, depression or grief. they admire your ability to overcome dark things and continue to be hopeful and forgiving. you have a sense of mental peace in the midst of the all the anguish in the world, or even in the anguish in your life that they can’t help but find attractive. your ability to remain harmonious, kind and loving despite hardships around you is something they love. you have a sense of renewal, uplifting and raising things that were once low. it’s giving phoenix rising from the ashes. your ability to sacrifice darkness in order to create light is something they admire.

what they like about you physically?

pile two, your future spouse thinks your eye candy😭. I literally channeled the word “ trophy prize”. they think dating you is a once in a lifetime opportunity because youre so attractive. they loveeee your hair. some specific confirmation for this pile are curly hair, blonde hair, facial hair; if none of those resonate don’t mind that because hair in general is something they absolutely adore about you. they love your style, something about it gives effortless and confident to them. I just heard your future spouse feels proud walking next to you. another thing i channeled was age difference, so if you’re younger than them they like that about you, and if you’re older than them they like that too, any age gap in general just switch to what applies. another thing i heard is the way you walk, as if you’re walking on air. they like your legs. okay pile two whatever makes you feel more confident around them, whether it be a certain makeup look, a certain dress or outfit, the way you style your hair is KEY to their attraction. something you do that makes you feel confident, whatever that may be, is what will make them simp over you. i just keep hearing your confidence is so sexy to them. your future spouse definitely puts you on a pedestal.

overall energy: they love your LIGHT. this pile was very easy and breezy, and i feel like it’s reflecting you. when you’re in a happy, positive energy they feel like it radiates out of you. when you’re playful and lighthearted around your future spouse this what they love about you. this was such a cute read oh my gosh

side note: whoever your future spouse is, please reaffirm and validate to them you are NOT out of their league. like i previously mentioned they definitely put you on a pedestal, i would just hate the idea of them feeling unworthy or insecure because of how highly they view you. so give them some extra validation and compliments when you come across them.

pile three

🎶 get on your knees - Nicki Minaj ft Ariana Grande🎶

🎶“ baby just get on your knees “

“ say pretty please, say pretty please “🎶

-

what do they like about you mentally?

I’m not gonna lie, pile three your future spouse is a little dark! & i think they’re attracted to the darkness within you. they don’t like things pure and clean, unlike like pile two they prefer things to be a bit heavier. they like when you’re obsessive or possessive over them. I think your spouse has very similar thought patterns as you, so it’s a balance and flow between the two of you. reciprocating what the other is giving out. the energy feels heavily attached to one another. they love your darker energy. they want to explore all of your kinks, and fantasies. this is kinda fucked up but 😭 they like it when you get jealous over them. like i said this energy feels heavily reciprocated so you guys could be the couple who enjoys teasing and making each other jealous. I don’t think it’s solely your future spouse who likes this dark energy, i think it’s you both sharing in it. that aside, they like how you’re relationship material, the way you view loyalty and commitment is attractive to them. they like to comfort you, and reassure you. they like when you think of them as your protector, your guardian.

what do they like about you physically?

height difference. you could be shorter than them, or taller than them but either way they love that about you. if you have round features, like a round face, or big round eyes they love that. im getting that your future spouse is incredibly attracted to your body. if you’re a woman, they really love your boobs. if you’re a man, they love your hands. I’m just getting something about your body shape. curvy or petite, they’re very attracted to your body shape. if you workout they love that about you. that aside, your future spouse thinks its incredibly cute to watch you think hard about something. I’m channeling someone staring off into the distance with a focused, scrunched up face as they ponder something, and your future spouse thinking “ they’re so adorable“ lmao. they think you’re cute when you get angry or irritated.

overall energy: this gives me such youthful,immature puppy love energy lmao! but it’s cute! your future spouse likes your clingy, possessive, and fiery traits. they like to see you get passionate about something, when you have a spark in your eyes.

side note: be careful of codependency in this relationship !! 🗿

[shwarmii]

@infamous-if i just thought youd find it funny to know the Infamous-brain-rot is so strong it now has made me go "SEVEN-CORE ♡" while watching my favorite tv show lmao rip

The fact that Ryan thinks Min’s shirt not fitting him would be worse than getting booed off stage. I know what you are.

[love-belle]

every dead end street led you straight to me !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which no one knows how they're both each other's daylight.

or

for when you find the one you were meant to find all along. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // f1 drivers x platonic!driver!fem!reader // milo manheim x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - i am SO sorry for leaving u all but i had my finals going on and now i am DONE with school i just have my college entrance exams left and then im free free FREEEEEE !!!! i love u all sm thank you <333 i hope u like this !!

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by milomanheim, lewishamilton, carmenmmundt and 2,528,519 others

yourusername me n baby boy

edit : he says it's baby MAN i disagree ☝️‼️

11,528 comments

username NAHHHH HOLD UP ☝️☝️☝️☝️

username who u calling baby boy 😞

username gf reveal his face we won't be mean to him pls pls pslase

username screaming what in the world in this

username y/n soft launching her man wasn't on my bingo card this year like OH KAY

username bf reveal when ‼️‼️‼️

username LMAOOOO THE EDIT

username cannot wait for the grid to be summoned and be Weird

landonorris i thought i was the baby boy

-> yourusername girl u r a problem species

-> yourusername he says u can be his baby boy tho 🫵🫵

-> landonorris no thanks

-> yourusername FUCK UUUU FUCKKKKKK U - the bf

-> username lord what is this

username speechless who is THAT

username milo 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨 did u get lost 🤨🤨🤨🤨

-> milomanheim wdym i'm not even here

-> username gaslighter 🫵🫵

username cannot wait for race weekend it's gonna be sooooooo fun 🤞🗣️🗣️🗣️

alexandrasaintmleux the cutest 💘

-> yourusername no u 🫵🫵🫵

-> charles_leclerc stop trying to steal my girlfriend please

-> yourusername stop flirting with my bf maybe ?????

-> alexandrasaintmleux charles ?

-> charles_leclerc this isn't what it looks like

username y/n casually wrecking homes and stealing her colleagues gfs lile yasssss queen i support it

-> username support women's rights and wrongs 🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️🤞🤞🤞

username madly obsessed with her this is life altering to me

milomanheim real life angel visited the angel store !!!!!!! employees must've been happy

-> maxverstappen1 biblically accurate angel but sure

-> yourusername i pray on ur downfall every minute

milomanheim "baby boy" wasn't even directed at me and i blushed

-> yourusername homewrecker vibes stay AWAY!!!! 🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺

-> milomanheim wow

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, landonorris, alex_albon and 2,157,816 others

milomanheim ur in her dms i'm on google searching nutrient rich soils i'd keep her in if she was a worm

10,996 comments

username DEAD GONE DECEASED SIX FEET UNDER

username usually i don't get men but like,,,,,,okayyyyshajshsjsjsd haha hi!!!!!!!!!

username HANDS HANDS HANDS HANDS HANDS HANDS HANDS HANDS HANDS

*liked by yourusername*

-> username MISS GIRL WTFFF

-> username no y/n get UPPPPP

username prettiest boy oh my god

username not to alarm anyone but half the grid is here and i am having Thoughts

username Y/N??? LANDO??? ALEX???

-> username my met gala honestly

alex_albon delete the caption before lily sees it 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

-> milomanheim let the queen know she shouldn't settle for less ☝️🗣️

-> lilymhe yeah alex you're being a 🚩🚩🚩 right now

-> alex_albon oh god

username ALEX AND LILY BEING BSF WITH MILO????? WHAT IS THIS????? WHAT WILL BE NEXT????? LEWIS GIVING HIM FASHION ADVICE????? CHARLES SAYING SOME INCOHERENT SHIT?????

-> username baby breathe

-> username FUCK OFF LUCAS

lewishamilton i see someone's challenging my paddock icon title

-> milomanheim watch your back hamilton (U ARE ICONIC I COULD NEVER U ALWAYS POP OFF KING LIKE EAT UP EVERY SINGLE TIME)

-> lewishamilton i really like you

-> milomanheim DIED

username i feel things looking at those pictures OH MY GOD

username no bc if y/n and milo are together i will simply combust bc HAVE U SEEN THEM???? I BI PANIC I BI PANICKED

username everyday i wake up and bless god for milo manheim ❤️

username the way i KNOW he posted this for y/n like just trust me

-> username girl they don't even know each other ☝️

-> username TRUST ✊✊✊

yourusername HANDS HANDS HANDS HANSD HSNDS

*this comment was deleted*

yourusername nice

-> milomanheim ty

yourusername i see the vibe we went for was "raided grandpa's closest that was in my inheritance"

-> milomanheim sadly the only thing i inherited

-> yourusername that and those genes 😮‍💨

-> milomanheim that too 🥰

-> username oh yeah they're dating alright 👍

yourusername the filter is so cool

-> milomanheim ahahahahhaa rhank y

-> milomanheim thank you********

yourusername 🦕

-> milomanheim why

-> yourusername cute

-> milomanheim yes u are

-> username THE GASP I JUST GASPED

username y/n's engagement under this post goes WILD like

-> username girlie really commented the most random bullshit

username i bet the driver's gc is going CRAZY rn

-> username somewhere on this earth there is a george russell yelling at everyone in the gc to keep it strictly for professional things

-> username russell george i am sorry they are putting u through that😞😞😞

username MILOOOOOOOOOO AND Y/N IM SCREAMING

≡;- ꒰ °instagram stories ꒱

yourusername added to their close friends' stories

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by milomanheim, maxverstappen1, lilymhe and 2,517,986 others

yourusername there are things (inappropriate stuff) i wanna say to u (my BOYFRIEND) but i'll just let u (my COLLEAGUES) live

11,962 comments

username she's so real for this

username speak ur truth queen 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

username her pr team is trying so HARD like i feel like they don't get paid enough to deal with all this

-> yourusername i'll take that as a compliment thank u

username the power couple and we don't even know who he is

-> username mama y papa

-> username honestly they eat up everyone with these pictures

username hidden and secret and private??? girl really picked out her battles

username LOVE LOVE LOVEEEE this for her

landonorris thank you because i saw what you texted him this morning and osc had to physically stop me from bathing with bleach

-> yourusername why are u acting as if u literally didn't just straight up ask us if we "needed a third"

-> landonorris LIES SHE LIES SHE'S A LIAR

-> oscarpiastri mate the entire paddock was there

-> landonorris details but like..........do u

-> yourusername do we what.

-> landonorris ............need a third

-> mclaren oh hello ! guess who just lost their phone PRIVILEGES

username screaming bc they're already parents

-> username he's an absent father but ok

username babe come home the kids and the cats and the cow and that goat miss u ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username mother never misses

username lewis WISHES he was her

-> yourusername RIGHTTTT

-> lewishamilton roscoe's godmother privileges REVOKED

username f1 grid will never fail to make to laugh bc what do u mean lando asked y/n and the bf if he needed a third and what do u MEAN that y/n is roscoe's godmother

username live laugh toaster bath sayonara 😞

-> username felt this in my bones

milomanheim speak out ur truth queen !!!!!!

-> yourusername i did

-> charles_leclerc is that why he's redder than my car righOH MY GOD PEOPLE CAN SEE YOU

-> yourusername charles LOOK AWAY !!!!!!

-> username no bc

-> username oh

-> username she bout to be yelled at by her manager i can FEEL her anger rn

username that man better know how to fight bc the grid can and WILL come for him if he does something

-> milomanheim i am scared

-> yourusername uh

-> milomanheim for him i mean haha autocorrect

-> username did he just

-> username oh yeah

-> username all that build up and for milo to just

-> username guess who's sleeping on the couch

milomanheim before u say anything

-> yourusername i am SO disappointed rn

-> milomanheim I'M SORRY

-> yourusername :(( i had 3 months of soft/hard launch planned with annotations and notes

-> milomanheim we can still do that!!! anything u want!!!

milomanheim i love u

-> yourusername ok

-> milomanheim girl

-> yourusername wow ok damn i love u more then ig 😒

-> milomanheim ❤️

-> username fuck u both STOP RUINING SINGLE PEOPLE'S LIVES

-> username crazy about them

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, charles_leclerc and 2,317,637 others

milomanheim something about how taylor swift said every dead end street led u straight to me 💘

tagged yourusername

11,628 comments

username I SCREECHED OH MY GOD

username we knew but OH MY GOD THE REVEAL

username and everyone cheered

username roman empire or roman empire

username THAT DOODLE IS SO CUTE WHAT THE FUCK I WILL CRY RN

-> yourusername it's how he won me over

-> milomanheim wait actually

-> yourusername yes 🥰

-> milomanheim i thought it was me saying PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE till u agreed

-> yourusername that probably sealed the deal 💘

-> username i love how he's so "golden retriever" bf and she's "just proud of him in whatever case" gf

-> username truly mom and dad

username i don't wanna hear bitches say love ain't real anymore bc how do u explain THIS

username taylor wrote that song for them trust she told me herself

username WHAT THE FUCK THE LEGO FLOWERS IM CRYING

-> username he set the bar so high it's a dash at this point

username in love with both of them honestly

username crying LOOK AT THEM!!!!!

landonorris how you've both grown up! i still remember the first time she saw you and cried to me about how fucking pretty you are :)

-> milomanheim OHHHH ????

-> yourusername im gonna jump u this weekend WATCH UR FUCKING BACK

-> username nah bc y/n is so real for this

username milo with that drawing is so "what if i told u i'm a mastermind"

-> username NAH HONESTLY

-> username bro prophesied his relationship

username if my relationship isn't like this then i don't want it 💔💔💔

username lord i see how kind u have been to others

username and adding onto my 252719262 reasons we have THIS

username all the love songs in the universe are about them fyi !!!!!!

username AHHSHSHSHDHSJJDJDNX 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

yourusername also about how she said i wanna teach u how forever feels

-> milomanheim nah bc u will like where r u gonna go 🤨

-> yourusername baby we were having a cute moment there

-> milomanheim BABY 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️‼️😬😬😬😬🤞🤞🤞🤞🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯

-> charles_leclerc give him some time he's buffering

-> username something tells me that this is a very regular occurrence

-> oscarpiastri it is

yourusername my baby's fit like a daydream

-> milomanheim 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️❤️❤️❤️❤️‼️‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯🥰🥰🥰🥰☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️

-> username what is happening

-> oscarpiastri just give him some time

yourusername not to be a hopeful romantic loser on the main but i find u in every love song i listen to so yea

-> milomanheim look at u being nice for once

-> yourusername boy i will block u

yourusername love u

-> milomanheim who love me

-> yourusername *i* love you

-> milomanheim ilyt

-> username NO HE DID NOT 😭😭😭

-> username bro needs to learn how to hesitate

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by milomanheim, francisca.cgomes, alexandrasaintmleux and 2,785,159 others

yourusername if the whole world was watching i'd still dance with u

tagged milomanheim

12,628 comments

username GOODBYE

username this post right here your honour

username the way i teleported to the railway track

username SCREAMING SJSJTRBCUCJ

username pls block me b4 posting happy stuff (im so happy i cry)

landonorris you can't even order on your own sir DOWN

-> yourusername FUCK UUUUU OMG

username i just ascended to the pearly gates

username DRIVE HIGHWAYS AND BYWAYS TO BE THERE WITH U

-> username OVER AND OVER THE ONLY TRUTH

-> username EVERYTHING COMES BACK TO YOU

-> username i shed tears

username they're literally winning in life BOTH OF THEM

username NOT HIM PEELING ORANGES FOR HER IM GONNA SCREAM

username the orange theory is true and it's real because y/n and milo just proved it argue with air

username is no one gonna talk about how his name is saved as "mylo(ve) <3333"

-> username i had to take SEVERAL deep breaths so as to not break down in front of my family

-> username no one's doing it like them

username IN A WORLD OF BOYS HE'S A GENTLEMAN

*liked by yourusername*

lilymhe with me obviously 🙄

-> yourusername obviously

-> milomanheim 😧

-> alex_albon 😧

username if he doesn't stand outside my window with a sign asking when can he see me HE IS NOT THE ONE

-> username FRRRRR like stop‼️settling‼️for‼️less‼️

username going crazy over these photos like there's SO MUCH content

username y/n feeding us those milo crumbs

-> username nah she gave us whole PLATES with utensils and all ☝️☝️☝️

username i truly cannot wait for milo to be in her garage bc we all know that they're stupidly in love with each other and watching them giggling and smiling and laughing will be much more entertaining than racing

-> username nah bc bro doesn't know how to function with her around

-> username i don't even blame him bc that's Y/N Y/L/N

charles_leclerc how is this relationship gonna work when none of you has the guts to go and say that they got your order wrong

-> yourusername ur saying this as if alex hasn't been the one to go up and say that u asked for no pickles

-> charles_leclerc that was classified information

-> yourusername not anymore 🤗

username i live for y/n terrorizing the grid fueled by nothing but coffee and/or spite

username they're soooooooooooo disgusting im just gonna cry in a corner bc i do not have someone to peel my oranges for me and i have to do it myself like a common peasant

milomanheim i would peel oranges for u forever dw baby i got u 🍊🍊🍊

-> yourusername this is so sweet i cried stfu

milomanheim cannot believe i get to tell everyone ur my gf like OH MY GOD 😭😭😭

-> yourusername bf

-> milomanheim gf

-> landonorris bf AND gf ?

-> yourusername STOP ASKING

milomanheim wdym i cannot love u more than life itself 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 lies bc i do love u more than life itself

-> yourusername i would sacrifice max for u

-> milomanheim doesn't mean that much bc i know u would sacrifice him for a juice box

-> maxverstappen1 OH REALLLLLLLLY

milomanheim angel 🍒

-> yourusername no u

milomanheim u make me feel all golden like daylight

-> yourusername u make me feel all i like shiny things but i'd marry u with paper rings

-> username bye y'all this was fun

-> username brb i need to test if my toaster is waterproof or not

[too-much-tma-stuff]

Finally getting help (prt 4)

Masterpost

The bats worked through the night, coordinating and researching everything that needed to be done. Distortion showed up on the camera which they assumed was Vlad trying to get in but he didn’t manage it. After he finished trying from multiple angels including somehow from directly above (well Zatana did say invisibility, intangibility, and flight were the minimal powers they should expect from creatures of the infinite realms.) He turned human again and spent a long time banging on their front door.

He tried to call the cops but commissioner Gordon called Bruce directly to get the full story then told Vlad it could be dealt with in the morning. Zatana was also coordinating people heading to Amity, a full on raid of the GIW, and the Fentons.

Batman and Superman were collecting all the information that the raid team was sending out and workshopping public statements they could sent out to the public and the government about the unacceptable things they had found and the steps the JL was taking to fix it. The government was not going to be happy they knew, with the JL ‘over-stepping’ into their business and actually getting the word out about the atrocities a branch of their government and their pet scientists had been planning. The JL needed to get out ahead of it before the narrative could be twisted against them.

It was first thing in the morning when they did a live broadcast from the watchtower with Batman, Superman, and Zatana telling the world about the parallel world existing harmlessly along side their own, and the way the government tried to exploit it. The atrocities committed under the name of the Anti-Ecto acts with the ignorance of the public as a cover.

It was at the same time that Constantine, Dick, and Cas were raiding the Fenton’s home. Of course they were armed, but so were the bats, and they were used to fighting people who were armed. It wasn’t a particularly hard fight.

A redhead was sitting wide eyed at the kitchen table. “Can’t we just have one normal day!” She suddenly snapped but she was glaring at her parents, standing up and slamming her hands on the table.  “First you send Danny away with Vlad even though you KNOW they hate each other and it’s a school day and now this! What did you do to bring the heroes down on us!?”

“I don’t know Jazzybear!” Jack half whined as he was forced into power supressing cuffs to neutralize his minor super strength and sat down in the living room.

“I’m sure this is just a misunderstanding, don’t worry sweetie,” Maddie added, both of them were dressed in jump suits which did not help their supervillain vibes.

“it’s not a mistake mate, you’ve been messing with shit you really shouldn’t. And that portal in your basement is a fucking beacon welcoming a war. You’ve gone unchecked for too god damn long, we’re taking over things now.” Constantine told them before stalking down into the basement with Tim on his heels, Batman would be joining them as soon as they were done their press conference.

Cas stayed to watch the parents and Dick approached Jazz gently. “Hey can I talk to you in private please? It’s about your brother,” He said gently and she stiffened immediately. Looking at him in a way that made him feel like she could see straight into his soul and froze him to the spot. After a moment though she just sighed and nodded, beckoning to him to follow her upstairs, to a room that was probably Danny’s not her own. She sat on his bed and grabbed a bear that had been sitting on the edge, waving for him to sit at the desk.

“So, what do you know?” She asked with a sigh.

“Well, last night Vlad took Danny to a Wayne Gala, one of Bruce’s daughter Cas is really good with body language and clocked that something was wrong so she and one of the other kids got him away from Vlad and out of the party. I guess he really needed some adult support because he broke down and told them a lot, about the Phantom thing, the ghosts and… something you’re not going to like. But first I want you to know he’s safe, Bruce Wayne is a licensed foster parent and he’s taking good care of Danny, you can come live with them too if you want.

“We’re going to deal with the ghosts and the GIW and everything else now, I can’t promise by the end of this you won’t need somewhere else to go. I have a feeling if Batman and the Martian family have anything to say about this your parents will end up in prison for their unethical experiments.”

“As long as Danny is okay,” Jazz said firmly. “I was only staying to take care of him anyway, just get me emancipated and a scholarship for Gotham U so I can study while still being close to him I’ll be fine. I’m almost 18 as it is.”

Dick nodded, she was a smart and driven girl, she knew what she wanted, he could respect that. “Now, the thing you won’t like…” he trailed off and took a deep breath. “Danny is pregnant.”

“What!?“ Jazz blanched, gaping at him for a long minute. “That can’t be right! I mean I knew he was trans but he’s usually only interested in girls, how would he even-“ She cut off her eyes widening. “It was Vlad wasn’t it?” She gritted out with an expression the promised excruciating violence.

“Yes,” Dick said shifting awkwardly in his chair.

“Right.” Jazz said and got up, coldly calm. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be right back.” She grabbed a baseball bat from next to Danny’s bed that seemed to be glowing slightly then marched to the other side of the room, opened a cabinet and pulled out two odd looking guns. Before Dick could say much of anything she had vaulted out of the window and taking off down the street.

“Oh dear,” Dick muttered faintly before heading back downstairs. “Hey Cas can we turn on the news, some sort of local station?” He asked. Cas nodded and searched around for the remote, turning it on to find the channel was already on local news.

Vlad was already on there, talking about how it was awful Bruce Wayne had Kidnapped a local child Danial Fenton, and he could not be allowed to get away with this just because he was rich! But that didn’t last long, they watched for a few minutes before a blur of red hair and blue rushed past the camera.

“YOU TOUCHED MY BROTHER YOU CREEP!” Jazz said as she came out swinging and she must have quite the arm because her first swing sent him nearly flying off the stage. He scrambled to get up as she lunged at him again.

“Now Jasmine you’ve clearly been misinformed, I didn’t do anything-“ His muffled voice was cut off as she swung the bat again and he yelped as she hit him in the stomach.

“YOU GOT HIM PREGNANT! YOU DID THIS! YOU SHOULD BEHIND BARS NOT BEHIND A PODIUM YOU FROOTLOOP!” She shrieked as she swung again and this time he managed to dodge. The cameras following them as Jazz chased him down the street, the sound of his supplications and her shrieking fading out as they became more and more distant.

It took a frantic moment for the camera angle to switch to something else, maybe a drone, which was able to follow them down the street.

“You Don’t UNDERSTAND! I didn’t want to hurt him! I just wanted a perfect son! If he had just agreed to be my son none of this would have happened! When I knew it failed I told him to let them die!” Vlad yelled at her, though that did NOT seem to comfort Jazz at all. She had devolved into shrieking book titles like curses as she chased him with the bat and shot at him with the guns though her aim didn’t seem very good.

Well they had him admitting to it on camera now. As he watched a new actor joined the fray, a girl in a red jumpsuit holding a blaster.

“You did what to Danny!?” She demanded as she pointed the blaster at Vlad.

“Oh cheespuffs!” Vlad breathed, his eyes widening as Jazz trailed off letting who must be Red Huntress take over the chase as Vlad shouted about how he had made her! He had given her her weapons she couldn’t use them against him! Which did not seem to be stopping her.

The camera fuzzed out for just a second and then Valery was chasing a ghost with red eyes and a white outfit. Cas was laughing silently at the show and both of the Fenton parents seemed to be in shock. A few minutes later Jazz walked back in through the front door looking tired.

“Turn that off please,” she sighed as she put the bat down.

“Of course,” Cas agreed and picked up the remote again, turning off the tv. 

“Vlad didn’t actually do that, did he Jazzy?” Jack asked softly, he sounded so hurt, as if he had any fucking right!

Jazz looked at him blankly. “How many times have we tried to warn you about him? How many times has Danny told you he didn’t feel safe with Vlad? But as usual you couldn’t see past your own desires. I’m going to go see if the trenchcoat guy needs any help getting into your files,” She sighed before vanishing downstairs. 

Dick glanced at Cas, and then followed them, she would have no trouble watching the Fentons and staying quiet whereas Dick felt like he was about to explode. Batman joined them before long and between the three of them they shut the bulkheads on the portal and locked them, secured dangerous chemicals and devices, and downloaded everything they could. There were plenty of prototypes and blueprints, and stuff that could generously be called research.

It was obvious these people were geniuses but it was even more obvious that at some point they had become careless and obsessive. Half of the writing on the blueprints wasn’t legible, dangerous chemicals were not in proper containment, and the weapons were not locked up. Looking at all of this it wasn’t surprising that two of the people they had been involving in their research suffered exposure, it was a surprise more hadn’t. It was easy to tell when Bruce came down he was horrified, it was in the way he froze when he saw the lab, as if his brain was struggling to process just how irresponsible the Fenton parents had been.

“You must be Jazz, it’s nice to meet you. Danny speaks highly of you,” He finally rebooted to say when she waved at him. 

“I love my little brother, I always did the best I could to keep him safe from… all this,” Jazz said gesturing at the lab with a sigh. “I wish it had done any good.”

“You did plenty of good,” Dick put in. “Trust me, to a kid having someone care about them can make all the difference. 

“All those nights I patched him up after he came back from fighting ghosts. He healed fast but still. I can’t believe… he’s already been through so much and we knew Vlad was up to something! Ellie said she was our cousin but she looked just like him, I should have kept a closer eye on-” She cut off and shook her head. “He’s a good kid, of course if he couldn’t give the babies up, even if it would be better for them if he did. I hope he knows I’d support him either way, I hope he didn’t not tell me because he thought I’d be upset at Him.”

“I’m sure he didn’t,” Dick assured her gently. “Being a big sibling is hard, I know. But trust me you’re doing a great job, better than I did with my brothers,” he said, patting her shoulder. “You can ask him yourself later though. We have a lot to get done today to make sure he’s safe.”

She nodded stubbornly and doubled down on her work, directing them occasionally to where she knew they’d find more weapons or logs. She knew her way around the lab to a disturbing extent. 

Bruce and Dick both got a notification from Agent A saying that after a substantial sleep in Danny had woken up and was having breakfast. He seemed worried about the family but he was taking it alright, especially since he knew they were busy people. It did motivate Dick to clear things up as soon as they could so that they could get back to Danny though. The last thing he needed was More stress!

They had plenty of evidence of the Fenton parents breaking the law to call the police and have them taken away which gave them all the time they needed to strip the house. They got everything they could and decided to leave Constantine at the house to watch the portal until they could figure out how to shut it down completely without causing any damage. It seemed unstable so they didn’t want to risk it just now, especially without Danny’s input because according to Jazz Danny had made genuine connections in the Infinite Realms. 

They wrapped up this stage of the investigation before dinner after being up for about 36 hours. Of course they weren’t Done, there was still plenty to do investigating the government, how they’d gotten away with this and if they had any other nasty tricks up their sleeve. They’d have to manage any backlash from this unilateral move, and they’d have to figure out what to tell the public about Danny since Bruce would be fostering him. But all that could be done after having a family dinner with their new brother and a nap. 

part 5

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[neferaskingdom]

♡ It's Not You, It's Your Pants | CL16

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader [Crack Fic]

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Summary: Girl roasts Charles Leclerc’s tragic pants online, then accidentally crashes into him in Monaco. Cue spilled coffee, fashion rants, and an existential crisis about how her life turned into a Wattpad fanfic in under five minutes.

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A/N: Just a random crack idea I had after seeing Charles' pants on Pinterest.

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check out my other works: Masterlist

The pants in question:

Monaco was as glamorous as your Instagram feed had led you to believe—blue skies, sparkling yachts, and streets that looked like they’d been personally polished by billionaires. You’d come here for a break from your intense fashion studies, soaking up the vibes (and let’s be honest, hoping for a celebrity sighting). And maybe—just maybe—you’d catch a glimpse of a certain F1 driver whose face had become a staple on your social media, along with some questionable fashion choices.

It was your first time here, a small vacation before diving back into the hectic world of fashion school. Your excuse? Inspiration. But honestly, you just wanted to escape to the Côte d'Azur and sip some coffee.

But you weren’t just an F1 fan. You had your own little corner of fame on Instagram. As a fashion student with a decent following, your niche was breaking down and rating celebrity outfits. Recently, you’d gained serious attention for a video where you roasted none other than Charles Leclerc—the beloved racing prince of Monaco—for wearing, and you quote yourself, “blue baggy pants that looked like they were in a fistfight with a bunch of scissors.”

It wasn’t personal; it was business. And the fact that the pants had star-shaped rips in them? Your comment was basically a public service announcement.

“Look at these pants,” you’d said, holding up a screenshot of Charles sporting his, ahem, questionable fashion statement. “I mean, what are we even doing here? Are these pants or a craft project gone wrong? Who looks at a pair of baggy jeans and thinks, ‘You know what’s missing? Giant star-shaped cutouts for maximum confusion!’”

As you strolled through Monte Carlo, cappuccino in hand, you scrolled through the comments on your viral video.

“Not gonna lie, I kinda miss when Charles used to wear those skinny jeans that made him look like a confused hipster.”

“ARE WE JUST NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT THE STAR CUTOUTS?!?!”

“I think Charles Leclerc has been taking fashion advice from his 8-year-old self. Stars? Really? Babe, it’s not the 2000s anymore.”

“Not the hero we deserve, but the one we need—thank you for saying what we were all thinking about those pants.”

“Leclerc’s stylist should be fired, immediately.”

You chuckled at one of the memes someone had made—a zoomed-in shot of Charles in his infamous star-cutout pants, captioned: “I’m a star, literally.” Honestly, the internet was undefeated.

Mid-laugh, you rounded a corner, not looking where you were going, and—WHAM—collided with someone solid, causing you to spill your coffee, drop your phone, and let out a noise that was somewhere between a gasp and a scream.

“Oh my God! I am so, so sorry!” you babbled, fumbling to grab your phone off the ground.

“No problem, really—”

You froze. That voice.

You didn’t need to look up to recognize that slightly accented, velvety smooth tone. The universe had decided today was the day it turned your life into a Wattpad fanfiction.

Charles Leclerc was standing right in front of you.

And not just standing. He was smiling—that damn heart-stopping smile—and then something in his expression shifted. His eyes narrowed slightly as if he was trying to place where he knew you from. You, meanwhile, were contemplating whether it was possible to will yourself into nonexistence through sheer force of embarrassment.

“You’re…” Charles blinked and then a glint of recognition flashed in his eyes. “Wait, you’re the girl from that Instagram video. The one about my pants.”

If your life was a movie, this would be the part where someone hit pause so you could have a full existential crisis. Unfortunately, reality didn’t work like that, and all you could do was stare at him, jaw slack, as your brain tried to reboot.

“I, uh… well…” you stammered, unsure of how to explain to the very person whose fashion choices you’d roasted in front of millions of people that it wasn’t personal.

Charles tilted his head, his smile widening. “You really didn’t like my pants, huh?”

Oh God. This was happening. This was actually happening.

“I mean, it’s not that I didn’t like them…” you began weakly, still trying to wrap your head around the fact that you were currently being confronted by Charles freaking Leclerc. “It’s just… they were, you know, kind of…” You gestured vaguely toward his legs as if that would somehow help explain your deep-seated hatred for the star-ripped monstrosities.

“Kind of what?” he asked, clearly enjoying watching you squirm.

You took a deep breath, deciding to just go for it. “Okay, look. They were confusing. Like, were they pants? Or was it some weird attempt at turning your legs into a constellation? I couldn’t tell. They had star-shaped rips, Charles. also, why were there so many weird cutouts? Are they… windows? Are your pants ventilated?”

Charles let out a snort, clearly struggling to keep it together. “Ventilated?”

You nodded, gaining momentum now. “Exactly! They look like they’re half-torn on purpose, but not in a cool, grungy way. It’s like someone started cutting them up and then gave up halfway through. And the bagginess? Charles, I don’t even know where to begin. It’s like you bought them two sizes too big, but then tried to fix it by adding rips. And it just… doesn’t work.”

Charles burst out laughing, his hand covering his mouth as he tried to rein in his amusement. “You really think they were that bad?”

You blinked at him, dead serious. “Charles, those pants looked like they got into a fight with a pair of kindergarten scissors and lost.”

He was full-on laughing now, and you felt a small victory in that. At least he wasn’t offended. Although, considering how often people talked about drivers online, he probably had thicker skin than you’d given him credit for.

“I have to admit, I didn’t think anyone would notice the stars,” Charles said between laughs, wiping away a tear from his eye. “But you? You gave them a whole five-minute segment.”

You groaned, pressing a hand to your forehead. “I didn’t mean to turn it into an entire rant! It just… it snowballed.”

Charles grinned at you, his expression softening a bit. “No, it was funny. I saw the video. My brothers couldn’t stop laughing. Arthur sent it to me like five times.”

You blinked. “Your brothers… sent you the video?”

“Yep. They even gave the pants a name. They call them ‘the constellation pants’ now.”

You couldn’t help it. You snorted. “You should burn those pants. Like, immediately.”

He looked down at his legs, pretending to think it over. “They’re not that bad.”

“Charles,” you sighed, suddenly feeling a wave of passion wash over you. “Those pants were an abomination. They weren’t just bad—they were like an insult to pants everywhere. Like, what even were they? Baggy, ill-fitting, with random star-shaped rips? Did they start out as pants or was it some kind of tragic attempt at upcycling? Because I swear to God, it looked like a fabric store exploded on your legs.”

He blinked, clearly not expecting you to dive headfirst into a passionate rant about pants, but there was no stopping you now.

“And don’t get me wrong,” you continued, gesturing wildly. “I’m all for experimental fashion. I love a good risk. But those pants? They looked like you lost a bet to a five-year-old. I’ve seen better craftsmanship at a kids’ summer camp sewing class. They were offensive, Charles. Offensive to pants, offensive to legs, and offensive to anyone with eyes.”

Charles looked back up at you, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Okay, but what’s so wrong with adding a little personality to my wardrobe? Stars are cool.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that, shaking your head. “Not when they’re cut out of your pants, they’re not!”

“Fair enough,” he said, still smiling. “But now you’ve got me curious. If I did burn the pants, what would you suggest I wear?”

Was this a trick question? Was he seriously asking you, the random fashion student who insulted him online, for fashion advice? What was your life?

“Well…” you began, mentally assembling an outfit in your head. “For starters, how about something that doesn’t look like it belongs in a bad 2000s boyband? Maybe some slim-fit jeans that actually fit properly. And—oh!—ditch the weird rips. You’re Charles Leclerc, not a rejected *NSYNC member.”

He raised an eyebrow, clearly impressed by your decisiveness. “You’ve thought about this a lot, haven’t you?”

You shrugged, trying to play it cool. “I’m just saying… you’ve got the face, the career, the whole package. You shouldn’t let the pants drag you down.”

Charles grinned, leaning in slightly. “So, you think I have the whole package?”

Your brain screeched to a halt. Did he just—? Did Charles Leclerc just flirt with you?

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, star boy,” you shot back, smirking despite the fact that your internal monologue was currently having a breakdown. “I’m only here trying to fix your fashion sense.”

Charles chuckled, his gaze lingering on you for a moment longer than necessary. And that’s when the next bomb dropped.

“Well then, maybe you can help me shop sometime?” He said it so casually, like he wasn’t currently turning your entire existence upside down with one smooth sentence. I THOUGHT CARLOS WAS THE SMOOTH OPERATOR.

“I—wait, what?” You blinked rapidly, wondering if you’d heard him correctly. “Did you just… ask me to go shopping with you?”

He smiled again, that devastatingly charming smile that should probably come with a warning label. “Yeah. I mean, you clearly have strong opinions about what I wear. Might as well put them to good use.”

Okay. Okay. Deep breaths. This was fine. Everything was fine. You were standing in the middle of Monaco, and Charles Leclerc—your internet crush since forever—was asking you to go shopping with him. Totally normal. Just another Tuesday. Nothing to freak out about.

Yet your inner monologue was screaming, “MY LIFE IS A WATTPAD FANFICTION, WHAT IS HAPPENING?!”

“I, uh…” you stammered, trying to process this. “Are you serious?”

“Of course,” Charles replied smoothly, his eyes twinkling. “I’ve got to fix my ‘constellation pants’ problem, right? Who better to help me than the girl who went viral for hating them?”

You were pretty sure your brain had short-circuited at this point. But somehow, you managed to respond, your voice steady despite the fact that your insides were doing cartwheels. “I mean… I guess I could do that. If you really want fashion advice.”

Charles nodded, then casually pulled out his phone. “Great. Let me get your number, and we’ll sort something out.”

You stared at him. Was this real life?

He handed you his phone, and you slowly, robotically, typed in your number, still half-expecting to wake up from this fever dream.

After you handed it back, Charles shot you a grin that could probably melt steel. “So… how about lunch tomorrow? We could discuss your fashion intervention plan.”

Your internal monologue was now full-on screaming. WHAT IS THIS LIFE?

“Lunch? Uh… sure?” you replied, feeling like a character in a rom-com who was two seconds away from tripping over their own feet.

“Perfect,” he said, his smile widening. “I’ll text you.”

And just like that, Charles Leclerc—the man whose fashion sense you had ruthlessly destroyed in front of the entire internet—waved goodbye, leaving you standing there in a daze, wondering if you were hallucinating or not.

Your life? Officially. Unreal.

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[tulip-room]

༊*·˚Wanna Be Your BFੈ✩‧₊˚

syn. general boyfriend hcs

featuring: Oikawa, Semi, Sakusa, Kita, Ushijima, Kageyama, Osamu, Kuroo

a/n: this was supposed to be out months ago but someone...not to name names (AVE) didn't finish their half because it was too fluffy. So I just finished her half today <3 (love you Ave even if you can't write fluff /lh).

Oikawa

Meet Cute or Not So Meet Cute?  - how you meet

Would WANT a meet cute

Does not get one lol

His alarm hadn’t gone off that morning and he was not leaving his hair unstyled so he was late (yikes)

To make it worse it had started raining, like full on downpour, puddles in the street

And poor you, you were just minding your business when he absolutely RUNS you over

Oikawa didn’t think today could get any worse, it seems he was proven wrong. Not only was he late for practice, it was also raining hard. He grabbed his jacket since he didn’t want to bother with an umbrella and raced out the door of his home. He stupidly thought that would be the worst of his problems. In his rush he didn’t see you walking calmly on the street. 

Unlike Oikawa, you had the day off work and were fully intending on enjoying it even if it was awful weather. Unfortunately for you, your day out gets cut short as a stranger runs into you and your clothes get drenched as you fall in a puddle with a splash. Your umbrella is a few feet away from you, the stranger reaches down and grabs it for you as he puts it over your head again. It’s obvious that he’s sorry if the redness and grimace on his face have anything to say for it. 

“I’m so sorry,” he says and for a minute your brain freezes as you look up at him. The man is gorgeous and his voice is even nicer. “Here, if you give me your phone I’ll put my number in and I’ll make it up to you, yeah?” Even though he was in a rush earlier he doesn’t like the idea of running away after he caused you to be drenched. 

You hand him your phone and introduce yourself. “Y/N L/N, and I guess maybe a coffee would be acceptable,” you shrug. He shakes his head with a small smile and hands your phone back to you. 

“Toru Oikawa, and a coffee? That’s all? At least let me get you a new outfit to make up for the one I destroyed.” 

Somehow, someway you find him charming

He does in fact get you a new outfit despite your protests that it’s not necessary 

He is more late to practice because of it but he finds himself not caring

So while it might not be a meet cute, it wasn’t that bad of a day

First Date  - your first date

I’m gonna be so fr right now

He’s basic

You’re going for coffee the day after he meets you

I hc that he doesn’t like the big coffee chains, you know just cause

He takes you to a cozy coffee shop, he takes you to a local place

VIBES??? IMMACULATE. Literally everyone knows everyone and they’re already making his drink when he walks in

First Kiss - your first kiss

It’s after your third date before he even asks

He’s been thinking about it since he accidentally knocked you over (yes the other seijoh boys mocked him and continue to mock him for it)

He walks you to your door and does that cliche thing where you guys just hold hands and look at each other

You say you should probably go inside and he’s like “Can I kiss you?” 

You make him ask again before smiling and kissing him

He’s legit frozen after you walk inside and act like you didn’t just turn his world upside down

Jealous? - how they act when they’re jealous and if it’s easy for them to get jealous

Gets jealous so easy omg

The moment he catches a whiff of jealousy he’s attached to you

Full on arms around your waist and chin on your shoulder

Loudly introduces himself as your boyfriend 

When you get home he gets all pouty and demands that you pay attention to him

Cute Things They Do - just small things they do that are endearing

Before he serves he has to find you in the crowd and see your smile because it “Clears his head”

Random gifts, not even like expensive ones all the time

Could literally be a rock he thought you would like or a flower he saw in the yard

Food fights when you try baking together. Like flour gets everywhere

You guys clean up together though which ends in a water fight

Puts sunscreen on you without you asking, like you guys leave the house and he has to stop you and be like “Hold on.” And just sprays it on your face and stuff, gives you a kiss after. (this is added here because I love him and I’m still reeling from an awful sunburn because my friend did in fact not put sunscreen on my back)

Rotating lockscreen but it’s always a photo of you

Either by yourself or the two of you together

Rambles about you to anyone who will listen

Semi

Meet Cute or Not So Meet Cute?  - how you meet

MEET CUTE-ish

It happens after he performs for the night 

He just kinda wanders the bar he was playing at and when you come up to him telling him about how much you loved his song? 

He’s gone, whipped for you

So while you’re maybe a little more drunk than you should be he asks you to dance

Leaves with a new number in his phone and a smile on his face after he orders an uber for you

Semi wipes his face with a towel to get rid of the sweat from performing under the bright lights. He walks over to the bar to grab a drink, that’s when he catches a glimpse of probably the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. They’re smiling and dancing without a care in the world, the almost empty drink in their hand probably responsible. 

You set your drink on the table and that’s when you meet eyes with the cute musician that was performing earlier. Your friends tease you trying to push you towards him to get his number. And you do. You finish off your drink and head over to the man. “Wanna dance?” You all but yell over the loud atmosphere of the club. He nods with a smile and takes your hand. 

The two of you don’t talk, just dance, it’d be hard to hear over the crowd's cheers anyway. However, you both leave with a new number in your phones and wide smiles on your faces. 

“Text me when you get home, yeah?” Semi, you’ve learned, says as he leans on the door of the uber after making sure you get in. 

“Only if you text me when you get home,” you slur out. You were going to regret how much you drank in the morning but you supposed sober you would thank drunk you. Semi lets out a small laugh as he ruffles your hair and closes the door. 

First Date  - your first date

After a few weeks of texting each other you both have a free moment in your schedules

You had offhandedly mentioned wanting to play guitar, his eyes light up with an idea

Enter Semi proposing he teaches you how to play something, cause ya know…it’s a lot cheaper and it’ll be so much easier to learn with someone you already know

At the start he’s actual about it, has a chair set up across from him in his living room

Because you’re just not able to get one chord right though, he immediately asks if he can show you

You think he’ll take the guitar and show you. Wrong. He pats the couch and you sit in his lap as he puts his hands over yours and helps you press down on the right chords

First Kiss - your first kiss

He moves quick lol

It’s the same day as your first date

He makes dinner for the both of you after the whole guitar fiasco 

You kiss his cheek as a thank you

He teases you by being like “That’s all? Don’t you think I deserve more than a kiss on the cheek?” you know, not expecting you to actually do it

Another flustered boy after you kiss him 

Asks for another 

Jealous? - how they act when they’re jealous and if it’s easy for them to get jealous

Another one who gets jealous so easily

When someone tries to hit on you though he kind of just chuckles and laughs it off

He makes subtle insults until they get the hint to leave you alone lol

I don’t think he would be as pouty when you got home though, only a little and he would be holding you reminding you how much he loves you

Cute Things They Do - just small things they do that are endearing

Saves you a spot in the front row at all the shows you’re able to go to

When he makes a new album he dedicates a song to you that’s literally just your name and is all the things he loves about you

He lets you put your feet between his legs to warm them up 

When you hold hands he puts your hands in his jacket pocket so there’s less chance of you being separated

Impromptu serenading, just randomly starts singing to you

Wakes you up by pressing kisses all over your face

Does the “Y/N Loves me, they love me not” thing on flowers when he’s bored but gets so excited when it lands on the loves me. When it lands on love me not you have to kiss him and tell him not to listen to the stupid flower

Learns how to play your favorite songs and surprises you with them

Sakusa

Meet Cute or Not So Meet Cute? - how you meet

Not a Meet Cute but it’s not his fault

Really he only agreed because Atsumu said he would pay (yes, he lost a bet. Yes, Sakusa is there to collect his winnings and gloat)

He knew one day Atsumu exaggeratedly talking with his hands would lead to trouble

He was right

Here you come walking past the table in a nice white outfit and then suddenly there’s soda all over your pants

Atsumu is very sorry but Sakusa is more embarrassed, you? You laugh it off and say you were leaving anyways and it’ll wash right out

Today was, for all other purposes, a good day. Atsumu had made a foolish bet with Sakusa about who could score more service aces in a game. Sakusa won, by one which Atsumu definitely pouted about, which is why they were now sitting at Onigiri Miya. The loser had to buy the winner dinner, Sakusa really should’ve seen this accident coming from a mile away. Atsumu had lightly grazed his glass a few times while talking, very close to knocking it over more than once. And here comes a person dressed in all white.

One minute you’re saying goodbye to your friends and the next you’re covered in a drink. Both of the men at the table start rattling off apologies but you just laugh. “It’s fine, I was leaving anyway.” You wave them off.

“Still, I’m very sorry for his stupidity. I would say he’s not usually like this but I don't enjoy lying.” Sakusa cracks a small joke and is very pleased when you let out your own small laugh. He grabs his jacket from the chair beside him and hands it to you. “Here, use this to hide the stain.” 

After gratefully taking the jacket you give the man your number. “So you can get this back.” You wave goodbye to him and leave. Atsumu takes this perfect opportunity to tease Sakusa about giving his jacket to a stranger. To which Sakusa tells him to shut up.

First Date - your first date

I also want to say he would be a coffee dude but- I think he would be nicer about it

He takes you to a nice dinner

This isn’t your first time hanging out by any means, you two have definitely been talking for at least a month before he asks you out

He thought you were funny and before long got a little crush (just a little one/j)

First Kiss - your first kiss

After a game

The team had been teasing him not believing he actually got a partner so he was a bit frustrated

When he comes out of the locker room all showered and changed and sees you in your Sakusa fan gear he loses it

He just lifts your chin up and kisses you

A very simple “Cute.” as he grabs your hand and the two of you leave

Jealous? - how they act when they’re jealous and if it’s easy for them to get jealous

Another one to laugh and insult the person who’s making them jealous

He grabs your hand and just stares at them effectively scaring them off

When he doesn’t hold your hand he just kind of looms behind you which usually does the job

If they don’t get the hint he will just start pulling you away with like a “I’m their boyfriend, go be pathetic somewhere else.”

Cute Things They Do - just small things they do that are endearing

While I don’t think he’s big on PDA I think there are exceptions to the rule

I think when he’s anxious he holds your hand and gives it three squeezes to say he loves you

After games he always gives you a kiss

Didn’t understand the hype around having his partner in his clothes until you wear one of his jerseys to a game and all he can think about is how cute you look in it

KING of forehead kisses

Locks your pinkies together sometimes instead of holding your hand

Still makes you pinky promise when you guys make a deal or you promise something

Writes you little notes sometimes and puts them in the pocket of your work pants or jacket

Instead of goodbye kisses he gives you hello kisses when he gets home from practice or you get home from work

Whichever comes first

Kita

Meet Cute or Not So Meet Cute?  - how you meet

This man is literally perfect so yes

He deserves a meet cute as a treat (to me)

He just so happens to be in the same aisle as you and sees you struggling to get the last detergent from the top shelf

So being the perfect gentleman he is he gets it down for you

Luckily for both of you it’s not the last time you see him

During his bi-weekly trips to deliver rice to Onigiri Miya he sees you, helping Osamu 

You’re helping him with the deliveries since you’re new and that’s when you and Kita exchange numbers

Later he texts you and asks if you would like to go on a date with him <3 

Kita wasn’t meaning to go to the store today but he hadn’t realized he was out of detergent until he was about to go do laundry. So, here he was. He was trying to find his very specific brand of detergent, they had moved it when they last restocked much to his annoyance. That’s when he caught sight of a person glaring at a detergent on the top shelf. He went over and asked if he could help.

“Actually, if you could get that detergent down for me please. I swear it’s the only one that doesn’t make me break out.” You smile at the kind stranger. He smiles back and hands the detergent to you, grabbing one of his own. 

“I know what you mean, I think it’s because this is the only detergent my grandma used.” You both part ways thinking that would be the last you saw of each other. You were both pleasantly surprised when he showed up at your new job with his bi-weekly delivery. 

“Hey stranger,” you greet him and take the bag of rice from him.

“You two know each other?” Osamu asks.

“He was my hero and got laundry detergent down for me when I couldn’t reach it.” 

“Well, I guess you guys will see more of each other then. This is Kita, he was my captain from back when I played volleyball. He comes by to deliver rice every other week.” Osamu explains and shows you how to check off the sheet. He leaves to the front to take orders trusting Kita to help you move the remaining bags inside. 

“So, I’m Kita Shinsuke.” He holds out his hand.

“Y/N L/N,” you respond, holding out your own hand to shake. “I thought you were cute at the market so I guess it’s fate I saw you again. Sorry if this is bold but, can I get your number?”

“Of course, it’s funny you say that. I was just about to ask for your’s.” 

First Date - your first date

He would take you to a farmer’s market

Now, I know what you’re all going to say “Just because he’s a farmer doesn’t-” and let me stop you right there.

This is completely self-indulgent, I love farmer’s markets and like the outfits for summer go hard okay. He’s a man who actually knows what a sundress is and LIVES for seeing you in one

Also, getting strawberries or other food and asking the other if they want some only to just feed it to them instead of handing them the fork or berry.

First Kiss - your first kiss

You’ve been dating for a few months (he asked you out with flowers and a nice dinner after your 6th date)

You would have to initiate because I think he would be scared of overstepping

You fr get distracted by his lips whenever he talks

You guys go to each other’s houses when you’re free and want company

So as you’re about to leave, it’s only like 8 but you both have an early day, you ask

It’s after he puts your coat on you (fr living my dream) you nervously ask him for a kiss

This smug man just smiles with a chuckle and kisses you then pats your head and tells you that you should get home and to be safe

You know like he didn’t just smirk before kissing you 

Jealous? - how they act when they’re jealous and if it’s easy for them to get jealous

Most chill out of them

Literally just grabs your hand and introduces himself as your boyfriend

He’s a little insecure but when you look at him he is immediately fine again

Even makes a little joke about the situation like “You’re so pretty I don’t blame them.”

Cute Things They Do - just small things they do that are endearing

Sometimes he slips up and calls you his wife/husband and gets so red after

When you lay on him his hands make shapes on your back and he has you guess what he’s making

He sets his alarm for five minutes earlier than he needs to get up so he can hold you and look at you before he gets up

Never, and I do mean never leaves without kissing you goodbye. Even when he has to get up at like 4 for work, you’re still getting a kiss and getting tucked in

Likes to make you lunch and brings it to you

I think he stress bakes (me fr) so your house is always filled with baked goods (the twins highly appreciate you bringing them)

For team reunions they jokingly call you their parents

Orders for you, not in like a rude way obv but it just seems natural for him to (which means he memorizes your order at every restaurant/ coffee shop you guys go to)

Ushijima (Ave wrote the hcs for Ushi and Ushi only lol) @hiraethwa

Meet Cute or Not So Meet Cute?  - how you meet

Not so meet cute :’)

You literally run into him in the men’s bathroom at a bar after being ditched by your friend who got back with their toxic ex despite all the advice you gave them

Ended up talking his ear off about it

Listens to you intently, pointing out red flags about this guy

He didn’t mind though

Asks you out on a date at the end of the night

You would joke that your first date was at the shitty bar bonding over your friend’s toxic partners

Ushijima was washing his hands and about to dry them off when you walked into the bathroom. “This is the men’s restroom,” he says so simply. 

“Oh my…I’m so sorry. My friend literally ditched me and I think I’m a little too drunk to comprehend what’s going on right now. She got back with her ex despite me telling her how bad of an idea it was.” You start rambling. He nods his head as he dries his hand.

“Let’s go sit down.” He opens the door and leads you to a table where you continue to talk to him about the man in question.

“He always makes her pay for everything, I know this seems like a small thing but he drives off before he gets inside of her house. Like on their last date before they broke up he spent the whole time scrolling his phone and liking photos of models.”

“Sounds like he’s a real piece of work. I think it’s normal practice that whoever asks the person on the date is the one who pays. And while it may be small I believe it’s important to wait until someone is inside of their home safely before pulling away. And does that not count as cheating?” He pours some water into a cup and slides it to you. You mutter a small ‘thank you’ and drink some.

“In my head it counts as cheating. But apparently she thinks it’s fine. It just frustrates me because there’s this beautiful goddess of a woman and she’s dating…calling him a rat would be rude to rats.” He cracks a small smile at the joke.

When the night comes to an end you’re a little more sober but he still orders a cab for you. “Would you like to accompany me on a date?” 

“You mean this wasn’t a date?” You joke.

First Date  - your first date

Believes that enjoyment >> splurging on your first date

Brings you to a nice sushi restaurant that he has been to (he remembers you mentioned your obsession with sushi, yes)

“Why are you crying?” 

“This sake nigiri is too good, is it even real?” you hiccup, while savoring the taste of the salmon melting in your mouth

“I’m glad you like it.” 

Actively engages in conversation with you ^.^

THIS MAN WOULD WIPE OFF THE TINY DROPLET OF SHOYU ON THE CORNER OF YOUR LIPS

First Kiss - your first kiss

Despite what people may say about him, he is a romantic

He has read romance manga/novel or watched romance series (recommended by his best friend, of course)

It would happen on the second date after he drives you home

Literally happens like the k-dramas, I’m not even kidding 

Man would open your door, lean over you and unbuckle your seatbelt, offer you his hand to get out of the car (he is a gentleman through and through, what can i say??)

You stop at the front of your house/apartment, smiling up at Ushijima, eyes falling to his lips, thanking him for the great date he took you on

He just tucks the stubborn little fringe you have behind your ear, tips your chin up towards him and leaves a kiss on your lips

Bids you good night and makes sure you get into your house/apartment complex safely before leaving

Jealous? - how they act when they’re jealous and if it’s easy for them to get jealous

This man is so confident (in himself and your love for him)

He is unfazed by anyone trying to flirt with you

Would totally come over and put his hand on your waist

Just to mark his territory

(He is not jealous, guys)

Just territorial :)

Cute Things They Do - just small things they do that are endearing

Walks in front of you in crowds because his towering frame just makes the crowd separate for him, and also because he doesn’t want you to be squished by people

Would buy you your favorite dessert from the pastry shop on his way home from practice

Makes sure that you are sleeping well, have a glass of water next to you before bed

Obsessed with your hands, he would be holding them whenever he can. Both of you need to write for some reason? He can still hold your hand because he’s left handed, and you’re right-handed.

Would always finish the bento you pack for him because it’s filled with your love

Kisses you goodbye, every single time!! Even if you’re asleep, he would press a kiss to your forehead, careful to not disturb your sleep

Kageyama

Meet Cute or Not So Meet Cute?  - how you meet

Let’s be honest he doesn’t really go many places 

You meet him when he’s going on a run in the park and you fell over bcs you sprained your ankle

He helps you over to the bench and exchange numbers so he can’t check in on you

He def forgets he did this so when you interview him at his next game both of you get surprised 

Kageyama likes his routine of running before practice every morning. It’s a nice way to wake up because he’s not the most….happy person in the morning. It takes him a few laps of the park by his apartment before he sees you on the ground holding your ankle. He stops immediately and crouches down next to you. “Are you okay?”

“Does it look like I’m okay?” You snap as you hold your swelling ankle. “Sorry. It just hurts.” He nods in understanding and asks you to remove your hand so he can look at your ankle. He does a test to make sure it’s not broken and then helps you over to the bench. “Thank you. I’m sorry I snapped at you earlier.”

“It’s fine. Let me help you to the hospital.”

“It’s just a sprain, it's fine. I just need to go home and ice it.” He nods and pulls out his phone.

“Put your address in. I would like to make sure you reach home safely.” You nod and type your address into the phone. He helps you all the way home and exchanges numbers so he can make sure you’re okay later. 

Needless to say he forgets about the exchange until he sees you walking towards him after one of his matches. “How’s your ankle?”

“Fine now. So, a volleyball star huh? I thought I recognized you somewhere.” The interview goes well, and he makes sure to text you when he gets home and asks to go on a date the following Saturday. 

First Date  - your first date

Simple guy

Movies

Dinner beforehand 

Not a horror movie though, probably takes you to a romcom or smth and listens intently when you make fun of it the whole time

The minute goi try to get your card out to pay for anything he looks so confused omg

First Kiss - your first kiss

Nervous nervous nervous

Both of you are balls of anxiety

You two bumps noses a lot 

Very quick and then you both kind of look away like “so…yeah.” 

Jealous? - how they act when they’re jealous and if it’s easy for them to get jealous

Gets jealous so easily 

Omfg…this boy. Will just sit there with the biggest fricken pour on his face and pretend like that’s not what’s going on

Crosses his arms and taps his foot and everything 

Maybe a little silent treatment…just a little

“No, why don’t you go back to talking with that person. Since they were so interesting.”

Like bro…shut up and let us hold your hand and kiss you smh 

Cute Things They Do - just small things they do that are endearing

Gets lost looking at your face and when you question him about it he just goes “You’re pretty.” Like without so much as a flash of red across his face 

If you’re about to cross the road he grabs your hand and pulls you back before you cross bcs you don’t look both ways (bad Y/N)

If you stay up waiting for him to get back from an away game he carries you to the bed when you inevitably fall asleep

Has a photo of you in his wallet and when asked goes “Them? That’s my partner.” 

Not the biggest yapper but taps about you in interviews when given the chance

Osamu

Meet Cute or Not So Meet Cute?  - how you meet

MEET CUTE MEET CUTE MEET CUTE. 

Sorry- couldn’t help myself

He’s a vendor at a food festival you went to and you come back a solid THREE times to his booth

“Gonna see you again before I close? Startin to think you’re only here for me.” With the most teasing look on his face

You do come back before close and he writes a note for you on your receipt

Come visit the actual shop sometime and maybe I’ll give you my number -Osamu

Osamu almost laughs when he sees your face at his booth for the second time that night. “Couldn’t get enough?”

“Never.” You smile and order more food. He happily packs it up for you and makes small talk while someone else takes the orders. 

“Gonna see you again before I close? I’m startin’ to think you’re only here for me.” 

“And if I am?” You ask and take the bag from his hands. He stands there a little starstruck for a minute with a small smile on his face before he shakes his head and gets back to work.

You do end up coming back right as he’s about to close. “Mysterious customer. Lovely to have you again.”

“Lovely to see you again too.”

“Here for the food or me this time?”

“Maybe a little bit of both.” You smile and you hand him your card as he rings up an order for you to try. You’re the last person in line so he talks to you while he makes your food. 

“Well, I can’t say I’m disappointed.” He smiles and wraps your Onigiri up. He quickly writes something on your receipt before closing the window with a wink. 

‘Come visit the actual shop sometime and I’ll give you my number’ -Osamu

First Date  - your first date

Takes you to another street food festival. 

Like your favorite thing to do, the two of you just walk around and talk 

He will in fact not let you pay for anything (his poor wallet)

Tries to hold your hand when the two of you aren’t eating 

Gets a little upset he didn’t think to bring chairs or a blanket for you to sit down and listen to the live music so he runs to the store and gets a blanket

Proceeds to buy more food and the two of you sit and listen to the music while you eat 

Overall so soft <333 

First Kiss - your first kiss

You’re legit just leaving the store

Like you came in to talk to him during rush hour because you had a day off and you tell him you have to leave after he closes up

He just leans over and presses a kiss to your lips so casually and says bye and text him when you get home safe

You’re just like “bro wtf?” And make him kiss you again before you leave

He proceeds to go home and giggle about it to himself in his kitchen as he makes dinner 

Jealous? - how they act when they’re jealous and if it’s easy for them to get jealous

Yes.

Point blank. Jealous jealous man

Def silent treatment. Like petty man

“Osamu? You okay?” 

Turns away and ignores you 

Will make you kiss him like fifty times before he finally “forgives” you

You two talk about it later bcs healthy communication or wtv

Cute Things They Do - just small things they do that are endearing

Makes food for you (idc if this is overused. He’s a chef. As a culinary person. He makes you food). 

Asks your family/friends about your favorite dishes so he can make them

Learns your skincare routine and when you’re too tired does it for you and tucks you in

If it’s raining he’ll put his jacket over your head and run to the car with you 

If you’re feeling sad and won’t talk to him about it he kisses your face until you smile 

If you two have a silly fight he’ll put on sad breakup songs until you come talk to him

Kuroo

Meet Cute or Not So Meet Cute?  - how you meet

You meet him bcs he needs a fitting for a new suit

Neither of you get particularly flustered bcs you’re not used to this but he does think you’re very pretty

Refuses to ask you out at work bcs that’s just…ick. Like you’re fr stuck there so he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable 

You ask him out “I’m sorry, this is so unprofessional of me. Would you maybe want to go on a date sometime?”

So happy. Like the minute you’re out of sight he fist bumps the air and smiles so happily (yes ppl do look at him for a minute before continuing on with his day and no he does not feel shame about it).

Kuroo goes every few months to get a suit fitted. He has a vast collection now because of work but he likes to add new ones to his rotation. When you’re the one fitting his suit he notes how pretty you are but doesn’t mention anything. You are at work after all. 

The appointment goes by like all the other ones he’s been too. When you ring him out though he can see your eyes dart around the store. “I’m sorry, this is so unprofessional of me. Would you maybe like to go out sometime?” 

A wide smile breaks out across his face and he nods his head and tries to contain his excitement. “Yeah. I would love that. I was actually going to ask you but I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable at work.” 

“Oh…most people wouldn’t have cared. That was nice.” You smile at him and hand him his receipt. “See you again when you come back for the suit then.”

“See ya.” He tries to act cool and nonchalant but when he reaches outside he throws his hand in the air with a smile. He gets some head turns but he doesn’t care. Little does he know you can still see him from the counter and are hiding a laugh behind your hand. 

First Date  - your first date

Realized he left without your number so when he comes back to pick up the suit asks if you want to go out that night (you agree bcs why not be spontaneous)

Doesn’t have any reservations anywhere so the two of you run around the city

You do like claw machines and eat from food trucks and stuff in your nice work clothes

Def gets upset when he can’t win any of the claw machine games

So you get him a plushie 

First Kiss - your first kiss

Ice cream (thank you Ave for not expanding on this in the slightest…I’m taking creative liberties)

You get some ice cream on your lip and he kisses it away

Realizes what he did and tries to play it off as “no big deal” but gets too flustered for that smh

“Kiss me properly if you’re going to kiss me.”

So you roll your eyes and kiss him

Jealous? - how they act when they’re jealous and if it’s easy for them to get jealous

I know we like to joke but I think he’s pretty chill

Just makes fun of the guy cause I mean…Kuroo is tall, handsome, successful, wealthy, fit. Like what’s this guy got?

Like comes up behind you and laughs at his attempts at flirting “Did you really expect to get them with that lame line?” 

“What are you like 5’ 7? And that’s me being generous.” 

“Aww that’s cute. Where did you get it? I think my grandma wanted something like it.”

LOWKEY TOXIC ASF.

Cute Things They Do - just small things they do that are endearing

Puts his hand over the corners of things when you bend down so you don’t hit your head

Does your hair every morning 

Kisses your wedding ring before he leaves “just a reminder that this is real. That you’re really mine.”

Only goes to you to get his suits fitted

Tries to match his tie to your outfit and his watch to your jewelry 

Has a plushie collection and gives you his favorite one 

On a similar note you guys get a Build A Bear together and make posts like it’s your child

taglist (open, send an ask): @akaakeis @hiraethwa

stay a while why don't you? check out my other stuff

[rederiswrites]

Okay so I'm giving @corseque 's super-important audio of all Solas' comments about the Blight a second (or fifteenth, whatever) listen and taking notes as I go.

Solas doesn't think for a second that once the archdemons are gone the Blight will be gone. Which really makes sense because it's the Blight that makes them an archdemon, not the other way around. Supposedly, they're blighted when the darkspawn reach and corrupt them. But of course that begs the question of why it's only darkspawn (and uh, honorary darkspawn like the Wardens) that hear their call. Anyway, the way he says it, it sounds more like the archdemons are a limiting factor than a driving factor.

Varric: "What's so confusing about endless darkspawn?" Solas: "A great deal!" So yeah, whatever the plan was, he didn't foresee darkspawn as a consequence. So did he not foresee them existing at all, or not foresee them being free to cause problems? Worth noting that it's really clear both in general and in Descent that dwarves as a whole were a huge blind spot for him.

He is really really surprised that the Western Approach ever recovered from the Blight. Pretty clear he didn't think that was possible.

He thinks that everything the Wardens have done up til now is a deeply misguided effort that's served (mostly accidentally) as a delaying tactic. Gotta say, with the information we have at hand, this point pairs about as well with the last as a nice dry red with spicy pickles. If the Wardens shouldn't have done what they've done, but he didn't think recovery from the Blight was possible, I'd love to hear what he thought the alternative was.

Same dialogue as above, but when Solas talks about stopping the Blight and when Blackwall and Varric talk about it, one gets the distinct impression that they're talking at cross purposes, because Varric and Blackwall are talking about the experience of Blights, as in, periodic events, whereas I think Solas is talking about THE Blight, that is, its true nature, which is yet untouched.

He thinks Erimond is dumb as shit, which is fair and valid. "That's madness! For all we know, killing the Old Gods could make things even worse!" he says. Well, he knows a lot more than "we" know, but it's entirely possible that he doesn't for sure know this. Increasingly clear that he thinks it, though.

I'd forgotten just how pissed off he was about the Grey Warden plan to kill the Old Gods before they were corrupted. It really doesn't give "hey you're killing my relatives" energy. It really gives "wow that would fuck us all" vibes.

Of course, with a side of my remembering that Solas' besetting flaw was always thinking people should know better even though they don't have access to the knowledge he has. That flaw I WILL grant. He displays it repeatedly--you could even say the writers went out of their way to make the point.

"The Blight is the real problem"

"The fools who first unleashed the Blight on this world thought they were unlocking ultimate power." Anyway yeah those are the absolute core of everything here. The Blight is the real problem and the Blight was deliberate. Deliberately made or deliberately freed.

Even during the events of Inquisition, Solas obviously sees Corypheus as secondary to the Blight as a danger.

Cassandra suggests that the archdemons were really just dragons--"Pets to those who no longer exist", by which she probably means the Old Gods, not specifically the gods of Elvhen, just because of her cultural background. Solas finds this suggestion amusingly wrong--a quiet snort, and "I would not go so far as that."

Last notes: he doesn't sound like he thinks the Blight can be stopped, and he's adamant that it can't be controlled. Which is presumably why he broke the world in an attempt to contain it, assuming I'm right that that was the underlying reason for the Veil. That it didn't quite work the way he'd hoped is also pretty evident, though I wanna be clear that I assume he was working from a place of desperation, and that not knowing every possible outcome of an action is not a condemnation of having taken it.

[punkpandapatrixk]

🧝🏻‍♀️Mystical Glow-Up Secrets ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

Your mystical glow-up is literally divinely ordained, no cap HAHAH I’ve got this vibe from the deck-bottom but let me start with this quote:

'A Humanity that thinks materialistically will produce frightful beings in the future, and a Humanity that thinks spiritual thoughts, will work upon and transform the future organism so that beautiful Human bodies will proceed from it.' – Rudolf Steiner

Oh, gosh.

We are in an era of spiritual consciousness. This is an era where we learn to reflect outwardly what it means to be a 5D-Consciousness Being. Living in a 5D consciousness, people naturally feel lighter, freer, younger, prettier, healthier, more fit, more stress-free, more energetic; all because people's whole vibrations are 'triggered' by a more spiritual ae-nergy.

ae is known as chi or prana or orgone in other languages; by synchronizing with your ae, ever so organically your body learns to derive vital energy from a purer source of consciousness—a high vibration of aetheric authenticity—that reflects in the physical world as a glow-up of the highest divine order~♥︎

As your Mind comes into alignment with the ae of your Spirit, so your Body becomes attuned to that Order. The significance of ae will only grow as more people come into a spiritual kind of liberation from the chains of insecurity propagated by the monsters in the media and politics.

No matter what the propaganda of the moment may say and try to do, you could always be the conscious individual that distils information and derives from this process only the essence of what is good for you on a personal level. If you’re happy, satisfied, confident and proud with your intelligent conscious choices, that spark of contentment is what truly makes a person glow from the inside out~★

education: Body Care and Grooming (1948)

technomagy: Facial Symmetry with Muscle Toning (Energetic Programmed Audio) by Sapien Medicine

deck-bottom: XX Judgement Rx, Silver Historian (Polydore Vergil), Priestess of Beauty

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Pile 1 – As You Mend Your Heart, Babe, All of You Gets Beautiful Again

assistance: what is coming is 100000x better than what is gone by doyouflow

what’s been taken from you? – 9 of Wands

Although this is a 9 of Wands card, I see that the entirety of your Pile is water-based. You’re someone whose heart is very pure and kind, and you’ve sacrificed a lot of yourself for being there for others. I’m hearing: ‘for a pessimist I was pretty optimistic, and I got nothing—NOTHING—but betrayal and abandonment, and I am exhausted.’ Being charitable around the wrong fucker can surely drain our spiritual aenergy!

You’ve been through multiple cycles of ‘exhausting’ friendships with people who couldn’t appreciate you for the delicate human that you are. They only saw you as this fiery, strong, charismatic capable individual who always managed to whip up a positive attitude in any circumstances. It never occurred to them—not that they’d care to wonder anyway—that maybe this time around you’re the one needing a hug.

Nobody cared; and even the ones who pretended to care, only wanted to know what your gloominess was all about. And they went on to talk shit behind your back and had a good laugh about it. ‘MU HA HA HA, turns out Y/N ain’t even that shit! Y/N is pretty pathetic/loser/crazy BU HA HA HA HA!!!’ Funny thing is, you always knew about their shit one way or another and the whole revelation broke your heart to pieces. Multiple times with different people… tsk tsk…

recalling fragments of your beauty – 9 of Cups

Well, now, I can see you’ve lost a lot of these ‘friends’ and worked on yourself to create new neural pathways towards a truer sense of spiritual abundance. I’m sure right now your Life is pretty OK in areas like finance and material security; your job or creative project is going swimmingly; you have a pretty good work-life balance; and for the most part you’re really enjoying the peacefulness of your solitary Life.

But if there’s one thing, I think you haven’t had a really good conversation with someone interesting in a pretty long time. I see that your eyes have not twinkled from being complimented by someone genuinely kind in a really long while. You’ve lost a lot of your affection for people and you’ve lost faith in being energetic and social. People always disappoint in the end because their hearts are ugly and they’re mean to each other. This deep-seated belief has caused your eyes to look dead and droopy.

Have you perhaps noticed that you’ve developed a set of sanpaku eyes? The minimalistic science behind it states that people could develop sanpaku eyes after going through a lot—like a FUCKTON—of heartache and disappointments. I think your case could be dealing with some kind of a ‘betrayal trauma’ or some variety of ‘injustice trauma’. Look ‘em up, babe~ ♥︎

sealing the deal with the Divine Feminine – Knight of Cups

If some years have passed now since the last time you were around your fake friends, or even frenemies, I want you to know that your beauty has not been lost to time or ageing. Nope. Not at all. That’s bullshit. I can see that you’re the type of person who ages very UNNATURALLY. If your natal chart has a lot of Water aenergies or you have strong placements in Water Houses, you’re defo the type of bitch that can TRANSFORM your physical appearance by sheer mood ;D At this point, you can’t even age coz that skin barrier is strong AF LMAO

THAT’S WHY! Your true mystical glow-up secret lies in your mending your pretty Heart~ You’ve never had an ugly Heart, obviously, and still now it’s not ugly or anything; but it’s the way you think about how deserving you are of a friendship or relationship that honours your complex sensitivity that needs to be acknowledged and RECLAIMED. Doesn’t matter how, doesn’t matter when or who’s coming next, I just want you to know that if this reading has popped in to your Life… Your Soulmates are coming to get you, bitch. Pack up and play in the sea! XD

The good times that you’re going to be having with your Soulmates, Soul Tribes, Soul Fam—however you may resonate—are going to refill the stars in your Heart, automatically reflected in your eyes~ ★_★v Hahah I promise you that you’re going to reunite with Souls who are very, very old friends with you. You’re going to live a very happy, passionate Life doing things you like with people you Love… How the hell do you think that’s not gonna heal all of you and make everything about you beautiful again?😉

Originally, you’re a beautiful bitch. And if you’ve also got some Capricorn/Saturn/10th House placements, it’s very likely you’re ageing backwards! What the hell even is that?? \`★_★`/

GODDESS OF BEAUTY🔻💙

beauty on the inside – Green Physician (Paracelsus)

beauty on the outside – Priestess of Inspiration

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Pile 2 – It’s the Passion in Your Heart That Reflects Outwardly Your True Inner Beauty

assistance: I TRUST things aren’t falling apart they are FALLING INTO PLACE by doyouflow

~wah, girl, you really gotta check out the bonus content for this one XP~

what’s been taken from you? – 5 of Cups Rx

Out of all the Piles, you’re the baddest bitch of them all, do you realise that? You’ve got the most unhinged aenergy about you XD You’re a psycho, you know that? You’re generally thought of as either unpredictable or uncontrollable, but you could also be both, unprovoked LMAO People think you’re a problem child, because you’re so gutsy. I’m literally not getting ANYTHING about what’s been taken from you ^_^; Are you sure you still need this PAC? XD

First of all, you literally exist in your own dimension. That’s why people can’t control you. They can’t tame you. You’re a weirdo, a maniac even, who does things your way, plans things according to your vision, and yours alone, for the most part. People think you’re rather selfish but it’s because you’re a girl, right? If you were a man they’d say you’re DRIVEN. And yes! DRIVE that Bentley, bitch! No, DRIVE that Tesla into OUTER SPACE, bitch! You don’t appreciate people telling you what you CAN’T do!

And you don’t like it when people gaslight you about your confidence just because they’re a little bitch. You love being a Supreme Bitch—you’re a girl on a mission; ain’t nobody got the aenergy to listen to nobody’s guilt-tripping. And in that sense, your spirit and psychology have never really been hit by society. Society has never been able to take away anything from you ♡

recalling fragments of your beauty – XIV Temperance Rx

I see that your Beauty has stayed intact for the majority of your Life. It’s not like you’d resonate with having lost fragments of your beauty to years of depression, malnutrition or anything of the sort? Your mindset has remained strong for the majority of your adult Life. You have a strong mentality and this is reflected well in your physical body. A glow-up is easy, as long as you want it. And for the most part, your glow-up is tightly bound to your sense of purpose.

You’ve always known you’re meant for great things. And from a very young age you already worked on your mentality. You REFUSED to be normal, you refused mediocrity. It wasn’t a walk in the park until you reached your conviction though. Your childhood was rather constrictive, either due to societal expectations…or familial expectations. The adults around you thought you didn’t notice but you saw all of these fences put around you, and they pissed you off. Even your peers couldn’t understand what you wanted to make out of yourself.

So you rebelled from a very young age. You were, yes, THEE problem child, only because the small-minded people around you were a problem to your goals! Such hindrance. And now you’re glowing up and grabbing all the money bags and they jealous? Are you even fucking kidding my butt? Your path towards a total glow-up of your mindset and real life was not always perfect, but what’s perfection? All of the struggles play into creating your lore👑

sealing the deal with the Divine Feminine – 2 of Cups

If you’ve never heard anybody tell you this, allow me to be the first. Your drive, your determination, your ambition and motivation, although these qualities may make you appear like a selfish bitch on the outside, I, ME, MYSELF, understand that you want these things not only for yourself. There are people in this world you want to protect and provide for. Maybe it’s your mother who was abused or left by her deadbeat husband, idk. Maybe it’s a sibling or a pet you want to give the best Life for, idk.

Maybe, you want to achieve success and fame and be seen by the world, because you want to save the world from the malady of its own crazy, idk~ You want to be an example, a healing presence, a voice of reason, a voice for the voiceless, idk? You may look a certain bitchy, scary way on the outside, but your heart is good; it’s PURE GOLD. You live for the betterment of someone else and if that’s not LOVE, what is?

What most people don’t understand about you is how your sparkle of beauty literally comes from this desire to protect and provide for someone other than yourself. You have a lot of Love in your heart, even if you don’t always admit it to yourself. Your entire Life, your glow-up has come from your being DRIVEN. Vroom vroom, MOTHERFUCKER .・°☆~ You leave a trail of stardust for your aenemies ♥︎

GODDESS OF BEAUTY🔻💛

beauty on the inside – Green Alchemist (Nicolas Flamel)

beauty on the outside – Priestess of Patience

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Pile 3 – When Your Existence is Useful to the Healing of Others, Their Love/Gratitude Nurtures You Back to Health

assistance: you get to be universes favorite by doyouflow

what’s been taken from you? – Page of Cups Rx

See, it’s crazy that literally a few mins before starting on you, Pile 3, I came across a quote that says this:

‘Some of us are such advanced Souls that we did not come here to be supported, but we came to be the support system for many. If you’ve had a challenging Life and feel you never had proper support or Love, that is because YOU are the Love and Support.’

Well, my heart broke, but…hey, there’s clarity and validation there😊

All of these cards are in reverse, telling me there’s a lot that’s been taken from you. Your heart, compassion, resources, money, hobby items, OMG, the list is endless! So much has been taken away from you. Either by people borrowing stuff without remembering to return or people getting a favour without returning it to you. At least, even when it seemed like they did return some favour to you…the return was either lacklustre or just…it didn’t feel right?

You’ve felt gaslit too much your entire Life. An incessant feeling of being unseen, unappreciated, unloved, could’ve eaten away at your self-worth. You’ve often been the miracle in someone else’s Life, but when it comes to you needing a transformation in your Life, where’s MY miracle…? I think you could have Chiron in 12th House or Pisces? That kind of placement is one where an individual constantly feels like they’ve been forsaken by God, or the positive forces of the Universe…

recalling fragments of your beauty – 3 of Pentacles Rx

The truth of the matter is, you’ve not been forsaken by your Spirit Guides. See, this message is gonna be especially resonant for you who do have Chiron or Saturn in the 8th or 12th House—that the Universe, your Higher Self and Spirit Guides have given you so little guidance and support, because you’re meant to learn how it feels like to be in the shoes of Humans. See, it’s not to say these Humans do not have support—babe, they CAN’T access the support because they’re BLIND and DEAF AS FUCK.

Humans are so embarrassingly divorced from their own intuition. Even the most religious folks are blind and deaf to actual angelic whispers. In many cases, because their false religions have taught them to worship wrongly and be obedient to evil authority and not question any injustice and wrongdoings. The more blindly religious a person is, the more separated they are from their own Humanity, because now their ears are deaf to empathy.

You came into this world to understand the twists and turns of how it feels like to navigate this crazy Matrix with so little guidance, so that one day, when you’re propelled into your main mission, you can remind and even teach people how to re-connect with Love—the true source of all compassion and Divinity in Human Form. When you remind people of their Humanity, you regain, and grow exponentially in Beauty ♥︎

sealing the deal with the Divine Feminine – 6 of Pentacles Rx

So, as you can see, you have a very important spiritual mission in this incarnation. I do not give a goddamn dime what you think you look like; whether or not you‘re conventionally attractive; whether or not you fit some bullshit beauty standards; YOU ARE FUCKING BEAUTIFUL when you’re seen sharing your healing gifts with the world! You do remember that a lot of historians say Cleopatra wasn’t perceived as necessarily that conventionally beautiful by most people, right? But that everybody was charmed by her intelligence and charisma when talking about politics?

Yeah, you give me that vibe, bitch <3 That the essence of what you do to alleviate sorrow in the world, when seen by others, when people listen to what you say, when what you do or write changes people’s lives for the better, when people feel motivated by your sheer aenergy to improve themselves—it’s that kinda shit what will help you regain your natural beauty, or manifest a glow-up ☆

When you engage in your Life’s main mission, it’s people’s Love for what you do and the Gratitude they feel for what it’s done in their lives what will aenergetically nurture you back to health. In a nutshell, people’s appreciation for your Life’s Work IS your support system in this world—later on in Life maybe if you haven’t started. It is your Purpose to be useful to the healing of others~ You’re defo gonna have an audience \^_^v Namaste, bitches~★ I honour all that you’ve been through and all that you’re going to do for this world~ You’re so LOVED!!! <3

GODDESS OF BEAUTY🔻🧡

beauty on the inside – Gold Historian (Raphael Holinshed)

beauty on the outside – Priestess of Love

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[mostlysignssomeportents]

Copyright takedowns are a cautionary tale that few are heeding

On July 14, I'm giving the closing keynote for the fifteenth HACKERS ON PLANET EARTH, in QUEENS, NY. Happy Bastille Day! On July 20, I'm appearing in CHICAGO at Exile in Bookville.

We're living through one of those moments when millions of people become suddenly and overwhelmingly interested in fair use, one of the subtlest and worst-understood aspects of copyright law. It's not a subject you can master by skimming a Wikipedia article!

I've been talking about fair use with laypeople for more than 20 years. I've met so many people who possess the unshakable, serene confidence of the truly wrong, like the people who think fair use means you can take x words from a book, or y seconds from a song and it will always be fair, while anything more will never be.

Or the people who think that if you violate any of the four factors, your use can't be fair – or the people who think that if you fail all of the four factors, you must be infringing (people, the Supreme Court is calling and they want to tell you about the Betamax!).

You might think that you can never quote a song lyric in a book without infringing copyright, or that you must clear every musical sample. You might be rock solid certain that scraping the web to train an AI is infringing. If you hold those beliefs, you do not understand the "fact intensive" nature of fair use.

But you can learn! It's actually a really cool and interesting and gnarly subject, and it's a favorite of copyright scholars, who have really fascinating disagreements and discussions about the subject. These discussions often key off of the controversies of the moment, but inevitably they implicate earlier fights about everything from the piano roll to 2 Live Crew to antiracist retellings of Gone With the Wind.

One of the most interesting discussions of fair use you can ask for took place in 2019, when the NYU Engelberg Center on Innovation Law & Policy held a symposium called "Proving IP." One of the panels featured dueling musicologists debating the merits of the Blurred Lines case. That case marked a turning point in music copyright, with the Marvin Gaye estate successfully suing Robin Thicke and Pharrell Williams for copying the "vibe" of Gaye's "Got to Give it Up."

Naturally, this discussion featured clips from both songs as the experts – joined by some of America's top copyright scholars – delved into the legal reasoning and future consequences of the case. It would be literally impossible to discuss this case without those clips.

And that's where the problems start: as soon as the symposium was uploaded to Youtube, it was flagged and removed by Content ID, Google's $100,000,000 copyright enforcement system. This initial takedown was fully automated, which is how Content ID works: rightsholders upload audio to claim it, and then Content ID removes other videos where that audio appears (rightsholders can also specify that videos with matching clips be demonetized, or that the ad revenue from those videos be diverted to the rightsholders).

But Content ID has a safety valve: an uploader whose video has been incorrectly flagged can challenge the takedown. The case is then punted to the rightsholder, who has to manually renew or drop their claim. In the case of this symposium, the rightsholder was Universal Music Group, the largest record company in the world. UMG's personnel reviewed the video and did not drop the claim.

99.99% of the time, that's where the story would end, for many reasons. First of all, most people don't understand fair use well enough to contest the judgment of a cosmically vast, unimaginably rich monopolist who wants to censor their video. Just as importantly, though, is that Content ID is a Byzantine system that is nearly as complex as fair use, but it's an entirely private affair, created and adjudicated by another galactic-scale monopolist (Google).

Google's copyright enforcement system is a cod-legal regime with all the downsides of the law, and a few wrinkles of its own (for example, it's a system without lawyers – just corporate experts doing battle with laypeople). And a single mis-step can result in your video being deleted or your account being permanently deleted, along with every video you've ever posted. For people who make their living on audiovisual content, losing your Youtube account is an extinction-level event:

https://www.eff.org/wp/unfiltered-how-youtubes-content-id-discourages-fair-use-and-dictates-what-we-see-online

So for the average Youtuber, Content ID is a kind of Kafka-as-a-Service system that is always avoided and never investigated. But the Engelbert Center isn't your average Youtuber: they boast some of the country's top copyright experts, specializing in exactly the questions Youtube's Content ID is supposed to be adjudicating.

So naturally, they challenged the takedown – only to have UMG double down. This is par for the course with UMG: they are infamous for refusing to consider fair use in takedown requests. Their stance is so unreasonable that a court actually found them guilty of violating the DMCA's provision against fraudulent takedowns:

https://www.eff.org/cases/lenz-v-universal

But the DMCA's takedown system is part of the real law, while Content ID is a fake law, created and overseen by a tech monopolist, not a court. So the fate of the Blurred Lines discussion turned on the Engelberg Center's ability to navigate both the law and the n-dimensional topology of Content ID's takedown flowchart.

It took more than a year, but eventually, Engelberg prevailed.

Until they didn't.

If Content ID was a person, it would be baby, specifically, a baby under 18 months old – that is, before the development of "object permanence." Until our 18th month (or so), we lack the ability to reason about things we can't see – this the period when small babies find peek-a-boo amazing. Object permanence is the ability to understand things that aren't in your immediate field of vision.

Content ID has no object permanence. Despite the fact that the Engelberg Blurred Lines panel was the most involved fair use question the system was ever called upon to parse, it managed to repeatedly forget that it had decided that the panel could stay up. Over and over since that initial determination, Content ID has taken down the video of the panel, forcing Engelberg to go through the whole process again.

But that's just for starters, because Youtube isn't the only place where a copyright enforcement bot is making billions of unsupervised, unaccountable decisions about what audiovisual material you're allowed to access.

Spotify is yet another monopolist, with a justifiable reputation for being extremely hostile to artists' interests, thanks in large part to the role that UMG and the other major record labels played in designing its business rules:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/09/12/streaming-doesnt-pay/#stunt-publishing

Spotify has spent hundreds of millions of dollars trying to capture the podcasting market, in the hopes of converting one of the last truly open digital publishing systems into a product under its control:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/27/enshittification-resistance/#ummauerter-garten-nein

Thankfully, that campaign has failed – but millions of people have (unwisely) ditched their open podcatchers in favor of Spotify's pre-enshittified app, so everyone with a podcast now must target Spotify for distribution if they hope to reach those captive users.

Guess who has a podcast? The Engelberg Center.

Naturally, Engelberg's podcast includes the audio of that Blurred Lines panel, and that audio includes samples from both "Blurred Lines" and "Got To Give It Up."

So – naturally – UMG keeps taking down the podcast.

Spotify has its own answer to Content ID, and incredibly, it's even worse and harder to navigate than Google's pretend legal system. As Engelberg describes in its latest post, UMG and Spotify have colluded to ensure that this now-classic discussion of fair use will never be able to take advantage of fair use itself:

https://www.nyuengelberg.org/news/how-explaining-copyright-broke-the-spotify-copyright-system/

Remember, this is the best case scenario for arguing about fair use with a monopolist like UMG, Google, or Spotify. As Engelberg puts it:

The Engelberg Center had an extraordinarily high level of interest in pursuing this issue, and legal confidence in our position that would have cost an average podcaster tens of thousands of dollars to develop. That cannot be what is required to challenge the removal of a podcast episode.

Automated takedown systems are the tech industry's answer to the "notice-and-takedown" system that was invented to broker a peace between copyright law and the internet, starting with the US's 1998 Digital Millennium Copyright Act. The DMCA implements (and exceeds) a pair of 1996 UN treaties, the WIPO Copyright Treaty and the Performances and Phonograms Treaty, and most countries in the world have some version of notice-and-takedown.

Big corporate rightsholders claim that notice-and-takedown is a gift to the tech sector, one that allows tech companies to get away with copyright infringement. They want a "strict liability" regime, where any platform that allows a user to post something infringing is liable for that infringement, to the tune of $150,000 in statutory damages.

Of course, there's no way for a platform to know a priori whether something a user posts infringes on someone's copyright. There is no registry of everything that is copyrighted, and of course, fair use means that there are lots of ways to legally reproduce someone's work without their permission (or even when they object). Even if every person who ever has trained or ever will train as a copyright lawyer worked 24/7 for just one online platform to evaluate every tweet, video, audio clip and image for copyright infringement, they wouldn't be able to touch even 1% of what gets posted to that platform.

The "compromise" that the entertainment industry wants is automated takedown – a system like Content ID, where rightsholders register their copyrights and platforms block anything that matches the registry. This "filternet" proposal became law in the EU in 2019 with Article 17 of the Digital Single Market Directive:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2018/09/today-europe-lost-internet-now-we-fight-back

This was the most controversial directive in EU history, and – as experts warned at the time – there is no way to implement it without violating the GDPR, Europe's privacy law, so now it's stuck in limbo:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2022/05/eus-copyright-directive-still-about-filters-eus-top-court-limits-its-use

As critics pointed out during the EU debate, there are so many problems with filternets. For one thing, these copyright filters are very expensive: remember that Google has spent $100m on Content ID alone, and that only does a fraction of what filternet advocates demand. Building the filternet would cost so much that only the biggest tech monopolists could afford it, which is to say, filternets are a legal requirement to keep the tech monopolists in business and prevent smaller, better platforms from ever coming into existence.

Filternets are also incapable of telling the difference between similar files. This is especially problematic for classical musicians, who routinely find their work blocked or demonetized by Sony Music, which claims performances of all the most important classical music compositions:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/05/08/copyfraud/#beethoven-just-wrote-music

Content ID can't tell the difference between your performance of "The Goldberg Variations" and Glenn Gould's. For classical musicians, the best case scenario is to have their online wages stolen by Sony, who fraudulently claim copyright to their recordings. The worst case scenario is that their video is blocked, their channel deleted, and their names blacklisted from ever opening another account on one of the monopoly platforms.

But when it comes to free expression, the role that notice-and-takedown and filternets play in the creative industries is really a sideshow. In creating a system of no-evidence-required takedowns, with no real consequences for fraudulent takedowns, these systems are huge gift to the world's worst criminals. For example, "reputation management" companies help convicted rapists, murderers, and even war criminals purge the internet of true accounts of their crimes by claiming copyright over them:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/23/reputation-laundry/#dark-ops

Remember how during the covid lockdowns, scumbags marketed junk devices by claiming that they'd protect you from the virus? Their products remained online, while the detailed scientific articles warning people about the fraud were speedily removed through false copyright claims:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/10/18/labor-shortage-discourse-time/#copyfraud

Copyfraud – making false copyright claims – is an extremely safe crime to commit, and it's not just quack covid remedy peddlers and war criminals who avail themselves of it. Tech giants like Adobe do not hesitate to abuse the takedown system, even when that means exposing millions of people to spyware:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/10/13/theres-an-app-for-that/#gnash

Dirty cops play loud, copyrighted music during confrontations with the public, in the hopes that this will trigger copyright filters on services like Youtube and Instagram and block videos of their misbehavior:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/02/10/duke-sucks/#bhpd

But even if you solved all these problems with filternets and takedown, this system would still choke on fair use and other copyright exceptions. These are "fact intensive" questions that the world's top experts struggle with (as anyone who watches the Blurred Lines panel can see). There's no way we can get software to accurately determine when a use is or isn't fair.

That's a question that the entertainment industry itself is increasingly conflicted about. The Blurred Lines judgment opened the floodgates to a new kind of copyright troll – grifters who sued the record labels and their biggest stars for taking the "vibe" of songs that no one ever heard of. Musicians like Ed Sheeran have been sued for millions of dollars over these alleged infringements. These suits caused the record industry to (ahem) change its tune on fair use, insisting that fair use should be broadly interpreted to protect people who made things that were similar to existing works. The labels understood that if "vibe rights" became accepted law, they'd end up in the kind of hell that the rest of us enter when we try to post things online – where anything they produce can trigger takedowns, long legal battles, and millions in liability:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/04/08/oh-why/#two-notes-and-running

But the music industry remains deeply conflicted over fair use. Take the curious case of Katy Perry's song "Dark Horse," which attracted a multimillion-dollar suit from an obscure Christian rapper who claimed that a brief phrase in "Dark Horse" was impermissibly similar to his song "A Joyful Noise."

Perry and her publisher, Warner Chappell, lost the suit and were ordered to pay $2.8m. While they subsequently won an appeal, this definitely put the cold grue up Warner Chappell's back. They could see a long future of similar suits launched by treasure hunters hoping for a quick settlement.

But here's where it gets unbelievably weird and darkly funny. A Youtuber named Adam Neely made a wildly successful viral video about the suit, taking Perry's side and defending her song. As part of that video, Neely included a few seconds' worth of "A Joyful Noise," the song that Perry was accused of copying.

In court, Warner Chappell had argued that "A Joyful Noise" was not similar to Perry's "Dark Horse." But when Warner had Google remove Neely's video, they claimed that the sample from "Joyful Noise" was actually taken from "Dark Horse." Incredibly, they maintained this position through multiple appeals through the Content ID system:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/03/05/warner-chappell-copyfraud/#warnerchappell

In other words, they maintained that the song that they'd told the court was totally dissimilar to their own was so indistinguishable from their own song that they couldn't tell the difference!

Now, this question of vibes, similarity and fair use has only gotten more intense since the takedown of Neely's video. Just this week, the RIAA sued several AI companies, claiming that the songs the AI shits out are infringingly similar to tracks in their catalog:

https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/record-labels-sue-music-generators-suno-and-udio-1235042056/

Even before "Blurred Lines," this was a difficult fair use question to answer, with lots of chewy nuances. Just ask George Harrison:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Sweet_Lord

But as the Engelberg panel's cohort of dueling musicologists and renowned copyright experts proved, this question only gets harder as time goes by. If you listen to that panel (if you can listen to that panel), you'll be hard pressed to come away with any certainty about the questions in this latest lawsuit.

The notice-and-takedown system is what's known as an "intermediary liability" rule. Platforms are "intermediaries" in that they connect end users with each other and with businesses. Ebay and Etsy and Amazon connect buyers and sellers; Facebook and Google and Tiktok connect performers, advertisers and publishers with audiences and so on.

For copyright, notice-and-takedown gives platforms a "safe harbor." A platform doesn't have to remove material after an allegation of infringement, but if they don't, they're jointly liable for any future judgment. In other words, Youtube isn't required to take down the Engelberg Blurred Lines panel, but if UMG sues Engelberg and wins a judgment, Google will also have to pay out.

During the adoption of the 1996 WIPO treaties and the 1998 US DMCA, this safe harbor rule was characterized as a balance between the rights of the public to publish online and the interest of rightsholders whose material might be infringed upon. The idea was that things that were likely to be infringing would be immediately removed once the platform received a notification, but that platforms would ignore spurious or obviously fraudulent takedowns.

That's not how it worked out. Whether it's Sony Music claiming to own your performance of "Fur Elise" or a war criminal claiming authorship over a newspaper story about his crimes, platforms nuke first and ask questions never. Why not? If they ignore a takedown and get it wrong, they suffer dire consequences ($150,000 per claim). But if they take action on a dodgy claim, there are no consequences. Of course they're just going to delete anything they're asked to delete.

This is how platforms always handle liability, and that's a lesson that we really should have internalized by now. After all, the DMCA is the second-most famous intermediary liability system for the internet – the most (in)famous is Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act.

This is a 27-word law that says that platforms are not liable for civil damages arising from their users' speech. Now, this is a US law, and in the US, there aren't many civil damages from speech to begin with. The First Amendment makes it very hard to get a libel judgment, and even when these judgments are secured, damages are typically limited to "actual damages" – generally a low sum. Most of the worst online speech is actually not illegal: hate speech, misinformation and disinformation are all covered by the First Amendment.

Notwithstanding the First Amendment, there are categories of speech that US law criminalizes: actual threats of violence, criminal harassment, and committing certain kinds of legal, medical, election or financial fraud. These are all exempted from Section 230, which only provides immunity for civil suits, not criminal acts.

What Section 230 really protects platforms from is being named to unwinnable nuisance suits by unscrupulous parties who are betting that the platforms would rather remove legal speech that they object to than go to court. A generation of copyfraudsters have proved that this is a very safe bet:

https://www.techdirt.com/2020/06/23/hello-youve-been-referred-here-because-youre-wrong-about-section-230-communications-decency-act/

In other words, if you made a #MeToo accusation, or if you were a gig worker using an online forum to organize a union, or if you were blowing the whistle on your employer's toxic waste leaks, or if you were any other under-resourced person being bullied by a wealthy, powerful person or organization, that organization could shut you up by threatening to sue the platform that hosted your speech. The platform would immediately cave. But those same rich and powerful people would have access to the lawyers and back-channels that would prevent you from doing the same to them – that's why Sony can get your Brahms recital taken down, but you can't turn around and do the same to them.

This is true of every intermediary liability system, and it's been true since the earliest days of the internet, and it keeps getting proven to be true. Six years ago, Trump signed SESTA/FOSTA, a law that allowed platforms to be held civilly liable by survivors of sex trafficking. At the time, advocates claimed that this would only affect "sexual slavery" and would not impact consensual sex-work.

But from the start, and ever since, SESTA/FOSTA has primarily targeted consensual sex-work, to the immediate, lasting, and profound detriment of sex workers:

https://hackinghustling.org/what-is-sesta-fosta/

SESTA/FOSTA killed the "bad date" forums where sex workers circulated the details of violent and unstable clients, killed the online booking sites that allowed sex workers to screen their clients, and killed the payment processors that let sex workers avoid holding unsafe amounts of cash:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2022/09/fight-overturn-fosta-unconstitutional-internet-censorship-law-continues

SESTA/FOSTA made voluntary sex work more dangerous – and also made life harder for law enforcement efforts to target sex trafficking:

https://hackinghustling.org/erased-the-impact-of-fosta-sesta-2020/

Despite half a decade of SESTA/FOSTA, despite 15 years of filternets, despite a quarter century of notice-and-takedown, people continue to insist that getting rid of safe harbors will punish Big Tech and make life better for everyday internet users.

As of now, it seems likely that Section 230 will be dead by then end of 2025, even if there is nothing in place to replace it:

https://energycommerce.house.gov/posts/bipartisan-energy-and-commerce-leaders-announce-legislative-hearing-on-sunsetting-section-230

This isn't the win that some people think it is. By making platforms responsible for screening the content their users post, we create a system that only the largest tech monopolies can survive, and only then by removing or blocking anything that threatens or displeases the wealthy and powerful.

Filternets are not precision-guided takedown machines; they're indiscriminate cluster-bombs that destroy anything in the vicinity of illegal speech – including (and especially) the best-informed, most informative discussions of how these systems go wrong, and how that blocks the complaints of the powerless, the marginalized, and the abused.

Support me this summer on the Clarion Write-A-Thon and help raise money for the Clarion Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers' Workshop!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/27/nuke-first/#ask-questions-never

Image: EFF https://www.eff.org/files/banner_library/yt-fu-1b.png

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

[sturnsdarling]

teenage dirtbags, part one

a small collection of the times skater!matt and overachiever!reader realised they'd never be friends.

vibe check: flashbacks to childhood and high school, general loathing

1.2k words

A/N: i had this idea and couldn't get it out my head...i was trying to think of ways to establish the bad vibes and this was my best option.

introduction, part two

love and cigs, merc

the first day of middle school

It was just gone 8, and you were walking down the beige path towards your new school, books tucked in your arms, hair tucked behind your ears and your cream sweater tucked into your pleated plaid skirt. You looked perfect, as always, and had spent hours making sure of it. This was a new beginning for you, the start of your real academic career (you were a very intense kid) , and you were taking it very seriously, despite being only eleven years old.

Your brogues splashed in the little puddles that had formed on the concrete, the shiny leather being undisturbed by the water as it rolled off its surface. From behind you, the sound of skateboard wheels rolled against the beige floor, broken up by periodical slaps of a van shoe against the ground.

The sound got closer, and you thought nothing of it, along with thinking nothing of the giant puddle that you were absentmindedly walking closer and closer to. A boy with messy brown hair, an ACDC t-shirt on over a white long sleeve and work trousers he definitely took from his dad was fast approaching behind you, headphones in and not a care in the world.

You approached the puddle at the same time, and just as you did, the boy sped through it, splashing dirty brown puddle water all over you, and partially himself.

you screamed in shock, it was everywhere, and you were filthy.

"oh, crap, I'm so sorry" Matt said as he halted his speed, the sound of your scream pulling him from his daze as he jumped off his board and ran back towards you.

"what is wrong with you" you screamed, looking down at your now filthy outfit.

"it was an accident, I didn't me-" Matt began to speak, brows furrowed like a sad puppy.

"get away from me" you spat, shooing him away as he attempted to pat out the brown stains with the sleeve of his top.

Matts face screwed up in annoyance, he placed his board back on the floor, and was gone in a flash.

8th grade History class

"The French and American revolutions were one and the same, they ran parallel to each other and were reflections of the worlds desperation to be free from British rule" Matt said, answering the teachers question.

your brows furrowed in disagreement, "thats not right" everyone in the class turned from Matt, to you.

"and why's that, y/n" Your teacher spoke up.

"because the french revolution started in 1789, ours happened over a decade earlier, so they couldn't have been parallel" You said, your teacher grinning at you "and the french revolution wasn't about the British, it was about peasant revolt, and the abolishment of the French monarchy" your cadence was thick with pride.

Everyone in the class turned to the teacher, waiting for them to confirm who was wrong and who was right.

"very good, y/n" She nodded, continuing with her slides on world revolutions.

Matt was glaring at you over his shoulder, face riddled with irritation, you simply smiled, raising your brows for a split second before looking away. Matt rolled his eyes, and turned his attentions back to the board.

Lunch, Sophomore year of high school

You were sat just behind the resident table of skaters, not your first choice but it was the only table left where you could sit alone and read without having to sit next to anyone.

They were being idiots, as usual, throwing stuff at each other and making awful jokes. One said something about how they wish food fights were still a thing, and another agreed, picking up their mash potato and humming it at Matts head. The whole able erupted into laughter, Matt included.

He took a hand full of his spaghetti, and pulled his arm back in preparation to throw it at his friend. Just as Matt let go of the wet, red noodles, his friend ducked out the way, and Matts handful of food was launched directly at you.

It splatted on your face, covering your clothes and book in red bolognese sauce. The whole cafeteria gasped, laughs erupting from every corner as Matts face was riddled with a shocked smile, trying his best to hold back his laughter.

"Matt!" You screamed, taking your fingers and raking them down your face, pulling the pasta off.

Matt chuckled, holding his hands up in surrender, "sorry, y/l/n, my bad"

You clenched your jaw, slamming your book shut, squishing the spaghetti and got to your feet.

"you are the most insufferable, idiotic, stupid, worthless boy, I have ever known" you borderline screamed, picking up your bags and storming out the cafeteria.

All his friends turned back to face him with looks of 'oh shit' spread across their faces, all holding back laughs.

Matt smiled through the sting of your words, trying to play it cool and act like he didn't want to run after you and apologise. Who cares, he hated you anyway.

In the hall, Freshman year of college

Matt was leant up against the wall, talking to a girl he barely knew about skateboarding, or something else that you really didn't care about. He was obviously flirting with her, and she was relishing in it, peppering his arm with touches and twirling her hair round her delicate fingers.

You and Matt had somehow ended up in the same college, and you despised him for it. He never even had to try, he was effortlessly good at things, being handed your dream life on a silver platter with a smug smile and a nonchalant attitude. From a distance, your distaste for the sight ahead of you would look like jealousy, it obviously wasn't, it was pure hatred, and despite your better judgement, you found yourself walking over to them.

"what're you doin' here, y/l/n" Matt said, annoyed at the sight of you.

You ignored him, placing your arm round the girls shoulder and talking directly to her.

"I wouldn't waste your time, girl, I heard he gave half the volleyball team chlamydia" You said, the lie rolling off your tongue effortlessly as you tried to hold back your smile.

The girl scoffed in disgust, looking Matt up and down as she walked away. Matt tried to defend himself, shouting out that you were lying and that he swore it wasn't true. His efforts failed and he turned to you with a clenched jaw.

You couldn't help but smile, your tongue pressed to your teeth as he glared at you.

"what the fuck is your problem" matt spat

you shrugged, "I was bored"

Matt scoffed, "you were bored, so you told the only girl who's shown interest in me in months that I have chlamydia?"

You giggled, and with another shrug, you walked away.

Matts whole face tensed, and he stuck both his middle fingers up at the back of your head. You turned back, knowing exactly what he was like and returned the favour, flashing your perfectly manicured middle finger at him with a smug smile.

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