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ravenrose18 · 1 year ago

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My Personal Savior

Chapter 4- Reliving the Past

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He entered the room after her, before closing the door behind him. When he turned around, he raised a brow when he saw her take off her jacket. It took him a moment before his eyes trailed to the tattoo on her arm. Recognition flashed in his eyes, before he removed Lucille from his shoulder, propping her up beside the couch. He hardly ever set her down, but he didn't feel like he needed to be threatening. At least, not to Raven. "Well, I'll be damned. It is you." His smile cracked into a genuine one, relieved to see his old friend alive. All of his doubts and worries about her immediately subsided, and a heavy weight lifted off of his chest. "I was starting to think I'd never see you again."

Raven turns around and smiles, and tears are in her eyes a bit "Yeah it's me, Negan... I thought I never you again either for the longest time thought were dead but I tried every day to find you. I'm glad you're alive and doing well, actually... leading a group. I'm sorry I didn't reveal myself to you outside. I just wanted us to reunite in private and talk in private... I also wanted to umm... say I'm sorry for leaving without saying a word. I felt guilty for leaving, and I still do... all this time, I thought you would be angry or hate me." She says softly, looking down a little, holding her arms crossed over her chest.

Negan noticed her tears, empathy flashing in his eyes for a moment. He wanted to offer her a hug for comfort, but he wasn't sure. Not only because of his image but also because of all the time that had passed between them. Of course, if she were the one to make the move, then he wouldn't push her away. When she expressed her worry about Negan's death, he couldn't help but grin. "I'm not dying until I am damn good and ready, I can promise you that, and it's fine. Honestly, speaking like this is better than if we were to speak publicly. We'd be interrupted constantly." As she spoke of her worry that he'd hate her, his smile faded a little. "Raven, I don't hate you at all. With everything that was happening, I don't blame you for going your own way. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't have waited around for the shit show either." He walked over, gently placing his hand on her shoulder in an attempt to show some form of comfort. "I don't care about what happened back there. I'm just glad that you were able to pioneer through this messed up world." A smile began to tug on the corners of his lips once more, as he gave a soft chuckle, "Of course, I don't know what I was expecting. You've been the strongest fighter I've ever met to this day."

Raven smiles softly with tears running down her cheek she embraces him tightly suddenly. Negan and Lucille were the only people who cared bout her and were there for her when she needed someone but she wasn't there for him or Lucille as soon as Lucille found out bout her cancer she also on the same day before Negan got home later that night if she was having affair with Negan that she knew he was having but it wasn't with her. She told Lucille no she wasn't having an affair and even before Negan got home she took off before she knew it the apocalypse also started. "No Negan it's not okay I should've been there for you and Lucille you were always there for me and I left when you needed someone other than your dying wife." She says

Negan's eyes widened a little from the sudden embrace before he relaxed soon after. He wrapped his arms around her, gently rubbing her back as she cried in an attempt to console her. He had missed her from the moment she left. At first, he felt a little betrayed, but as time went on, that feeling of betrayal wavered. Instead, replaced by a longing to see his old friend again. He had thought of her every single day, but after the loss of Lucille, he began to fear that he had lost Raven as well. At the mention of Lucille's death, a sorrowful look briefly crossed his face. Even though all this time had passed, he still grieved her loss. He tried to convince himself that he had moved on and become stronger from the pain, but the naming of his baseball bat proved otherwise. "Raven, listen to me, it's fine. Besides, I deserved it. I was an asshole to her, and I deserved to deal with it on my own."

Raven looks at him as she frowns and shakes her head "You shouldn't deal with this alone Negan I was your friend and I should've been there for you. And look the reason I left was that I didn't want to get in y'all's way of you guys fixing your marriage and spending as much time together before she passed. And.... Lucille questioned me if we were having an affair but I said no and I knew the whole that you were cheating on her and I didn't want to say anything." She says

He moved away from the hug just enough to meet her gaze. "It's fine, Raven. This world is a real piece of shit. There was nothing you or I could have done to save her. I understand, and we did fix our marriage. When she told me about her cancer, I cut things off with Janine right there and then. I did my best to be a good husband from there on out, but in the end, she died alone. She begged me not to go and I ignored her. I needed to get more treatment for her, but it took longer than I thought, and when I came back. She was already gone." His eyes seemed distant as he recounted the event as if it were playing in his mind like a movie. "When I saw her. I couldn't do it. I couldn't kill her. I knew it wasn't her anymore, but I just couldn't. So I left her alone in that damn house, again."

Raven looks into his eyes and her mind flashes back to when she saw the house being burnt. "That's why your house was on fire. I went back to the house after I went home and I saw it burnt down. I didn't know if you did or if you were stuck in that house with her. Negan I'm so sorry you lost Lucille but I promise you this... I'm not going anywhere ever again. You're stuck with me." She says

Negan brought himself out of his thoughts, before making eye contact with her once more as he listened. "Again, it's fine.." He insisted. Upon what she said last, a small smile appeared on his face. "And I'll be sure to hold you to your word." He spoke in a playfully teasing manner, trying to lighten the mood. He pulled her close once more, his leather jacket creaking as he moved.

Raven smiles and covers her face with his chest as she holds him tightly gripping the back of his jacket. "I missed you so much Negan I'm so glad we are back together again. Like you said I'm not dying till I'm good and ready." She says

Negan gently rested his chin atop her head, his smile still stuck on his face. He was so happy at their reunion, that he nearly resembled a child on Christmas Day. "I missed you too, Raven." Upon her repeating what he said, he couldn't help but chuckle a little bit. "And I'm holding you to that as well."

Raven giggles and smiles "So um how long have you been a leader of this place? How have you been since you lost Lucille?" She asks wondering how he is doing in general or even mentally he seems like he leads this group with fear she doesn't know what he's been doing but she is glad they see each other again.

Negan furrowed his brows slightly as he thought back to when the Saviors began. He hadn't kept an exact date, but he knew it had been a few years. "I've been in charge. Four and a half years, I believe. Give or take. Originally, Dwight was in charge but he kept getting people killed. I got tired of that shit real quick, so I took over. Then we met another group. The leader was forcing women into prostitution. So, I killed him and merged the groups. We found this place, made it secure, and pretty soon we had people flocking to our doorstep. That's when I decided to call us the Saviors." As she asked about Lucille, a small sigh escaped him. He was still in pain from her loss, but he was convinced that he wasn't. "I'm fine. At first, I felt dead inside, but I'm fine now." He didn't like discussing his mental health, because he feared being seen as weak. He ruled with fear and brutality, he didn't need something getting out that would go against that.

Raven smiles slightly and nods "Well you have to do what you have to survive and protect yourself from others I guess you have always been a protector especially me you were my personal Savior Negan. And you know you can always talk to me you wouldn't look weak if you told me what's wrong or just to talk you know. Oh, I have a great idea for us to catch up, we can catch up over dinner like we used to. You made your world-famous spaghetti, we drank alcohol and talked all night and then..... we ended the night with slow dancing with a song we called our song.... only if you're able to Negan. I don't want to stop you from doing your leader duties." She says

His lips curled into a small grin as she called him her 'Savior.' "Anyone in their right mind would have beat the ever-loving shit out of that guy. I'm not special, and again, I'm fine, but thank you." Negan's smile grew slightly more as she proposed her idea, his eyes brightening a little from excitement. "That sounds like a wonderful idea. I'll need to make sure everything is running smoothly first, then we are free to dance and chat the night away." He gently moved his chin off of the top of her head after a moment, beginning to stir a little as he tried to carefully move away from her grasp.

Raven smiles and lets him go as she nods "Okay that's fine Negan it will give me time to change and get clean up and settle in properly. So if you can help me by leading me to my room and make sure that I won't be disturbed and Negan I will kill someone if they sneak into my room and try to assault me." She says

He gave a smile in return, before moving away to go fetch Lucille. He picked the bat up, and after giving it a little twirl, he rested her back onto his shoulder. "Grand tour, it is." He joked a bit, before opening the door for her so she could leave the room first. "I'll get someone to bring clean clothes to your room, and don't worry. I can guarantee you that shit like that won't happen here, and if it does, I'll take care of it myself."

Raven smiles softly and nods as she grabs her jacket and bag and walks out of the room she looks at him. "I'm glad you will do anything to protect your people. I'm glad I have someone here to trust and who cares about me." She says

He walked out after her, shutting the door and locking it behind him. Even though the people here feared him, it didn't mean that they wouldn't try to steal from him out of sport. Afterward, he placed his attention on her, before returning the smile. "And I'm glad that you feel that way. People look at me like I'm some kind of hellspawn when all I'm doing is trying to keep my people safe." He gestured for her to follow him as he began to walk further into the building. A few saviors glanced over at the two with curiosity as they walked past, but kept going. They knew better than to interrupt him. His smile grew a little more upon what she said, "And I'm glad to have you with us." He spoke

Raven smiles as she follows him she glances over at the people watching them glares at them and then looks up at Negan "So it seems like I'm being stared up a lot by your people what's the deal?" She asks wondering if she really needs to be careful or maybe they question why I don't fear Negan like they do.

He stopped in place after the question, turning to look at her for a moment before his eyes moved to look past her at the Saviors who continued on their way. After a few seconds, he put his attention on her once more. "They're probably wondering why a stranger wanted to be alone with me and why I allowed it." He gave a scoff of amusement and shook his head a little. Afterward, he turned his attention ahead and resumed walking. "But don't you worry, sweetheart? Ain't nobody gonna lay a finger on you here. We have rules, and we stick to them."

Raven smiles and looks at him as she walks. "I'm glad but if they do don't be surprised if you have a few missing men. And are you going to mention to everyone here who I am? I mean it's not like I'm going anywhere." She says as they keep walking and then she hears Negan's name being called she turns and sees a woman with blond hair and a black short dress and heels walk up to them.

Negan smirked a bit, amused by her comment. "I'd rather deal with that myself, but if you have no choice, then fine. Once you're settled in, I'll introduce you to the rest-" He fell silent as he heard his name called. He released a sigh, his brows furrowed in annoyance. He despised being interrupted. Negan turned to look, his fingers impatiently tapping upon Lucille. When he recognized it as one of his wives, he seemed to immediately relax, his frustration vanishing. "Well, hello." He spoke, his grin returning.

Raven looked in confusion she was wondering who this woman was and how his demeanor changed as soon as he saw who it was. "Umm... Negan who's that?" She asks she thinks it's like one of his maids or Cooks but not on how he's acting she feels a bit jealous that she got him in a good mood and took his attention away from her.

Next Chapter

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ravenrose18 · 1 year ago

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My Personal Savior

Chapter 2- Finding Sanctuary

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Raven was packing up her camp after being out in the woods for so long that she wanted to have a place to stay and not sleep at night scared that she would get attacked. She puts her hoodie up, puts her backpack on, and has her crossbow on her back as well. She holds her necklace tightly as she walks towards the road. The only thing she has left from her friend from before the outbreak.

Raven was walking down the road she hasn't been with a group at all this entire time, she didn't trust anybody she dealt with so many assholes that she rather stay alone she can handle herself anyways. The only thing she can't handle is being alone, not able to get proper sleep with her nightmares causing her to stay awake all the time and her past always flashing back into her mind making her go insane, with the lack of sleep she always seeing things thinking she seeing an old friend from back before the dead. She looks down at her arm with the tattoo they got together she always thinks about him, hoping he and his wife are safe and alive somewhere and that they will reunite someday.

She needs a place to stay to try resting and maybe hopefully find some food. It's hard for her as it is out here she thought she would have died a long time ago, but she kept fighting and living for HIM.

Raven continues to walk and sees a factory-like building where she needs a place to stay. She walks up to the building, pulls out her knife, and slowly walks to the gate she looks around and keeps a close eye on her surroundings. She thinks the photo of her and Negan the day they got the tattoo together. Lucille, his wife, took the photo it's been a few years since she last saw them. She was so grateful to have them in her life, after she ran away from her abusive home she lived on the streets and the day Negan found her and let her stay with them was the best day of her life.

Within the looming, concrete walls of the sanctuary, Negan sat at the worn table in his makeshift office, Lucille's handle clutched loosely in his hand. The old, wooden chair beneath him creaked as he leaned towards the other man sitting in the room, his face displaying a cold stare.

One of his lieutenants, Gavin, shifted around a little in his seat, his eyes occasionally taking glances toward Lucille, wanting to make sure the bat wasn't going to be swung at him. Eventually, Negan couldn't bear the silence any longer and spoke up once more, his voice laced with hostility. "We need those supplies, Gavin. I don't care if he has to face a whole damn army of the dead. I want you to make sure that Ezekiel delivers every single thing he has promised us. And if he doesn't - " Negan lifted Lucille a little before placing her back down. "-then Ol' Lucille and I will just have to visit him. Again and again, however long it takes until he gets the message." Gavin took one more glance at Lucille before his eyes landed on Negan. "Understood, boss -"

Negan's voice shot up once more, cutting him off. "And if that has to happen, he's not going to be the only one facing punishment. People are a resource, and the more that I have to take care of, the shit your standing in will only get deeper and deeper. Do I make myself clear?"

Gavin nodded once again, his hands beginning to tremble. Lucky for him, they were hidden beneath the table and out of his leader's vision. "I understand, boss. I'll speak with Ezekiel and get this worked out."

"Make sure that you do." Negan flashed his hand as a signal for dismissal. Gavin wasted no time at all standing up from his seat and leaving the dreaded room. Once the door was shut, Negan leaned back into the chair, his leather jacket groaning softly as he moved. He released a deep breath through his nose, and his eyes lifted to look at the ceiling. He couldn't help but think back to the times before this whole mess. How simple that they were. When he was still just some high school coach, he was married to the actual Lucille.

As his mind reveled in the nostalgia, an old friend resurfaced in his brain. A girl by the name of Raven whom he had taken in from the streets and let live with the two for some time. After Lucille's diagnosis, he lost contact with her. Now he couldn't help but wonder where fate had led her. If she were even still alive or if the dead had other plans. With a sigh, Negan brought himself out of his thoughts. As much as he wanted her to be alive, he had his doubts. He knew she was a fighter, but even the best fighters met their mark.

Negan glanced down at his arm. Hidden beneath his black jacket was a tattoo he had gotten with that same girl. A small smile tugged at his lips as he continued to think back on those days. How kind and caring she was, how she brightened up their lives. That smile faded as his heart began to ache with doubt once again. His fingers traced the engraving of a number 4 on the knob of the baseball bat before he began to lift it to rest on his shoulder. Just as he was doing so, his walkie buzzed alive.

"We have a lone woman approaching the gate. If you're part of my men, then I expect your sorry asses to meet me there." Arat's voice sounded like another of Negan's Lieutenants. Within minutes, the gate was swarmed with men, all armed to the teeth with weaponry they'd taken from other settlements. Arat took her place in front of them, her gun held in her hand instead of aimed like the rest were. Her brown eyes glanced Raven up and down, trying to assess the level of threat that she was. When she felt that she had come to an answer, she finally spoke sternly. "Who are you, and what is your business here?"

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