#work was rly slow this week so i had a lot of down time and i actually wrote??????

[ofmdee]

💙🔹💙

[fairydustblossom]

losing control {part 5}

azriel x reader

summary: you and azriel have been best friends for decades. giving romance a chance takes some time to figure out.

category: angst, slow-burn, friends-to-lovers (kinda)

word count: 5.7k

warnings: none rly! maybe some jealousy and possessiveness??

notes: AHH!! finally !! i managed to complete my first series, my first piece of fiction! this part was a lot more daunting than i anticipated lol i felt like i was trying to tie a bunch of string together for so long but hopefully i pulled it off,, anyways enjoy! please let me know what you think of it :)<3

{part 1} | {part 2} | {part 3} | {part 4}

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You were in Rhysand’s office waiting for Eris to arrive. It had been two days since your fight with Azriel in the changing rooms. You hadn’t seen him, or heard from him, and you had held yourself back from asking about him. If he didn’t want to see you, then you wouldn’t seek him out. You would not lower yourself to chasing after a male that did not want you. Somehow, you had managed to maintain your composure  enough to keep the rest of your family, apart from Rhys and Cass, oblivious to your inner turmoil. In the eyes of your loved ones, everything was as it should be, but you couldn’t help but miss Azriel with an intensity that was difficult to endure and you weren't sure how much longer you could take it. 

Rhys’ and Cass’ suspicions definitely did not help you feel at ease. Their sly, questioning looks trailed your every more, and it made you feel that it was only a matter of time before they interrogated you. Cassian had already made a few attempts to get you alone, you knew his nosey self couldn’t hold back from wanting to know about the incident  in the changing rooms. You had dodged  his questions so far, but you were starting to feel guilty for avoiding those who care for you. The guilt only added to the anger you were feeling towards Azriel. Anytime you thought of your current situation, disbelief filled you. You couldn’t comprehend how everything had gotten out of hand so quickly. Where had your best friend gone?

You were lost in your thoughts, standing next to Rhys in his office when Autumn's new High Lord winnowed in, appearing directly in front of you. The first thing you noticed was his red hair, then his eyes, traveling up and down your body until they met yours. A smirk came upon his face. 

“The one and only, Y/N. Lovely to see you.” He said with a slight bow. His flirty tone and the smirk etched on his face made you want to roll your eyes. But you didn’t want to disappoint Rhys, you knew he needed the Autumn courts help to achieve his goals with the Night Court, so you were determined to be civil, kind even. “And Rhysand, of course.” he added, as an afterthought.

“Eris.” You simply nodded with a soft smile as a greeting.

He held your gaze until Rhys cleared his throat, “Eris, thank you for coming. My home is your home for the next week. Y/N here will be at your service if you need any help. I’ve already set aside some books that I believe go over some of the most important topics of ruling a court. They are being held at the library if you wish to go over them. For now, you can make yourself comfortable in your chambers for the week. We’ll see you at dinner.” Rhys gave you a grateful look for taking on this responsibility before walking to sit at this desk, to carry on with his work. You understood this was a silent dismissal so you stepped forward, walking past Eris, turning your head slightly to address him.

“Come along Eris, I’ll show you the way” you kept walking, trying to ignore his burning stare as you walked ahead of him.

Outside his bedroom door you faced him, gesturing towards the door. “Alright, here it is. My room is down the hall,” pointing at your door you said, “if you need help with anything, you know where to find me”

Eris raised his eyebrows, grin widening, and stepped closer to you “Are you already inviting me into your bed Y/N?” he asked, lowering his voice so only you could hear. 

You couldn’t help but blush at his response, at what he was insinuating. The playful gleam in his amber eyes and his proximity to you, forcing you back into the wall, made your breath hitch.  Your eyes drifted to the other end of the hall, landing on Azriel’s shut door and you wondered how Azriel would react if he walked in on you and Eris right now. Would he get jealous? Would it bother him enough to talk to you? Part of you wanted nothing more than for Azriel to show up and claim you as his, to show Eris who you really belong to. The thought of this made your stomach turn, the realization that you weren’t truly Azriel’s overwhelming you. 

What you had asked of him ‘I don’t want to be a secret anymore Az’ and his words ‘Then you want more than I can give you’ replayed in your mind. How would Eris know not to flirt with you if you were single in everyone's eyes except yours? You fought the tears that wanted to surface, aware that you very well could be single right now, given that you had not heard from Azriel for days. Maybe this was his way of silently calling it off. The mother knows he would be capable of doing something like that. 

Thinking of Azriel shot a pang of hurt through your heart and you scooted your way around Eris, trying to regain your composure. “I am not inviting you into my bed, Eris. You must have misheard me. I thought foxes were known for excellent hearing”

He let out a laugh at your quip, the corners of his eyes crinkling slightly, letting you know that it was a genuine laugh. “My apologies then Y/N. I guess I heard what I wanted to hear.” 

Now it was your turn to laugh a little, a mix between a chuckle and a scoff tumbling out of you. You couldn’t help it, his boldness and shameless flirting too funny and slightly endearing not to laugh at. Eris was undeniably a handsome male, and having his attention directed at you felt oddly satisfying, somewhat alleviating the ache in your chest. It’s not that you wanted Eris, nor did you want to flirt back, but it felt good to be openly wanted. You only shook your head in response, tried schooling your features and walked away, once again feeling his gaze trailing your behind.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The arrival of the Autumn Court’s High Lord called for a family dinner. Everyone had gathered around the dining room for a proper welcome. Everyone except Azriel. Azriel was still nowhere to be found. No one seemed to question it, but you couldn’t stop wondering where he was at. Still you refused to ask, you didn’t want anyone to notice how much you were worrying. Your eyes wandered around the room and a sense of longing for Azriel’s company filled you. Cassian and Nesta were playing thumb war across from you- you’d had the misfortune of overhearing Cassian challenge Nesta. According to his rules, whoever won, received some oral ‘favors’ from the other after dinner. His words, not yours. Amren and Varian were next to them, giving each other flirty eyes. Rhys and Feyre were at one end of the table, the high lady opting to sit on her husband's lap as they gazed into each other's eyes lovingly, surely holding a conversation through their daemati powers. At the other end of the table, Lucien and Elain were whispering to one another, his thumb stroking her cheek absentmindedly, and on your side of the table Mor was sitting with Emeri’s arm curled around her. You were happy for your family, but the sight of them curled up with their lovers made you feel sick. The chair next to you, where Azriel usually sat, remained empty.

The screech that came from the empty chair startled you out of your thoughts of the Shadowsinger. Eris sat down and scooted his chair forward, simultaneously scooting it closer to you. “Hello again, Y/N.” he said as he leaned in, “So kind of you to save this seat just for me. Now we’ve completed the table of beaus as one looking upon this dinner might call it”

You rolled your eyes, muttering, “I didn’t really save it for you…”, holding back from saying that the seat was Azriel’s.

However, Eris must have picked up on something. Maybe it was the way you quickly looked around to see if you would catch sight of Azriel. Where was he? The question wouldn’t really leave your mind. Or maybe he noticed what you really wanted to say. You weren’t sure how he knew, but he knew enough to bring Azriel up.

“Ahh I see, it was meant for the shadow man wasn’t it? I was starting to wonder where he was at, he’s usually as attached to you as his shadows are to him.” He looked around the table, “Thought I don’t see any other open seats-”

Rhys cut in then, overhearing your conversation, “Azriel will not be joining us tonight.” He gave Eris a pointed look, warning him to not make any unnecessary comments about his spymaster, fully aware of their mutual dislike for one another. 

You quickly looked up at the mention of Azriel, following a sinking sensation in your chest at Rhys' words, you wanted to ask Rhys where Azriel was but suppressed your need to know, aware that Rhys hadn’t elaborated on Azriel’s whereabouts in front of Eris to protect Azriel’s privacy. 

As your eyes wandered around the table once again, you caught Cassian staring at you. He was watching how you would react to the mention of his brother.

The rest of the dinner you tried being as present as possible, however you struggled engaging when all you could feel was the ache in your chest. As soon as dinner ended you stood up and slipped out of the room, headed to your bedroom. You thought you were safe once you reached the hallway but then you felt a hand grasp your forearm, stopping you in your tracks.

Cassian had finally caught you and he was not going to let you go until you gave him an answer. He was filled with worry towards both you and Azriel, he had never seen either of you acting so strange. You sighed and mentally prepared yourself for whatever it was that your  fearsome-self-proclaimed-brother-warrior-general wanted. 

“Y/N, what’s going on? And don’t even try to lie. You’ve been acting weird all week, Rhys has noticed too. You and Azriel both have been weird. I haven’t seen him like this in a long time. What happened the other day?” he asked, genuine concern clouding his hazel eyes.

You ears perked up when he mentioned having seen Azriel, and you ignored the rest of his questions, choosing to focus on that. “You’ve seen Azriel? Where is he?” you asked, deciding to drop the façade, you could ask after your best friend, you would’ve asked before you started seeing each other so why did it matter now?

Cassian narrowed his eyes, fully aware at how you had ignored him, “Not since I walked in you guys arguing, don’t even try to deny- wait, didn’t he tell you he was going on a mission? He left two days ago.” Cassian furrowed his brows, a look of confusion overtaking his features. 

A small gasp left you and your eyes widened. You weren’t expecting him to say that. Azriel never went on a mission without telling you first, without saying goodbye to you. The entire inner circle knew that. Neither one of you ever left without telling the other. 

“No, he didn’t tell me” you whispered, losing the battle against the tears that were starting to line your eyes. You looked away hoping Cassian wouldn’t see them, having him catch you crying twice in a week was just too much. You already felt embarrassed by everything that had happened.

Cassian of course noticed the effect his words had on you and he was filled with even more concern. “Y/N, what’s going on? Did Azriel do something to you?” he asked gently, moving to hug you. 

A wave of protectiveness overcame you, and you pushed yourself out of Cassian's grasp. Even though you were hurt by Azriel’s actions, you felt that you had caused all of this by the way in which you had brought up the status of your relationship. You didn’t want any unsolicited meddling, especially not before you could figure whatever this was with Azriel. You also didn’t want to break Azriel’s trust. If he didn’t want anyone to know about your fling, then you wouldn’t tell anyone. You valued him enough to respect that. You wiped the tear that fell down, “Nothing’s going on Cass”, you replied, turning around and walking away, headed to your room. 

“You can’t expect me to believe that Y/N, you are literally crying.” He exclaimed behind you, with a bewildered look on his face but deciding to drop it for the time being. 

You chose to ignore him and locked yourself up in your room. Finally letting yourself cry at having lost the male you love, because now there was no doubt in your mind that your relationship with Azriel was over. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The rest of the week went about in a similar manner, Eris had proceeded with his unabating flirting, however it hadn’t bothered you as much as you thought it would. You had warmed to him slightly, his presence a welcome distraction from the incessant thoughts of Azriel that consumed you. He also took his research seriously, never diminishing the importance of running a court. You had helped him gather research materials at the library and had guided him through complex laws and regulations implemented in Velaris. The week had dragged but you managed to stay busy. Still no word from Azriel. Cassian’s reveal of Azriel’s whereabouts had sparked a nagging anxiety over Azriel’s safety, but after overhearing Rhys and Cassian talking about Azriel's latest update, you knew he was okay and now a numbness had taken over. You could do nothing but wait. 

The night of the gala, you were going through the motions of getting ready but you felt disconnected from everything around you. You hadn't seen Azriel all week. If it hadn’t been for your duty to Rhys, of being his right hand this week, you wouldn’t have been able  to get out of bed, much less get ready for the gala that was happening tonight. Helping Eris throughout the week had kept you busy enough to not hole yourself up in your room and cry at the loss of your relationship with Azriel. In the time you had shifted from friends to lovers, you had never gone this long without seeing each other, without talking. You were sad, yes, but mostly you were numb. You couldn’t quite wrap your head around how it had all crumbled apart, and an emptiness lived within you. 

You didn’t know when you would see Azriel next, and you wanted nothing more than to talk to him; however, you weren’t sure if he would even want to talk. You supposed this was Azriel’s way of quietly parting ways. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you gathered your frazzled thoughts and squared your shoulders, mustering up the courage to go on with the night. Looking over your reflection, your eyes snagged on the ring Azriel had gifted you. As much as it painted you, it didn’t feel right to wear it when you didn’t feel his. Sliding the ring off you tried not to think about the memory of the day he gave it to you, tried to ignore the bareness in your finger. You ran your hands over your dress, briefly wishing Azriel could see you in it, knowing he would’ve loved it. Dismissing the thought, you gave yourself one last lookover, eyes lingering on your ringless finger before sighing and leaving to escort Eris to the gala.   . 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Azriel had finally come back from his mission, it had taken longer than he had expected and he was filled with regret at not having talked with you before leaving. He was itching to be back in your arms, to feel your lips, to be with you. He felt like a mad man as he landed, ready to beg for forgiveness, to tell you how much he loved you. The longing he had felt while on his mission had given him the clarity to realize he would do anything for you, and if that meant putting aside his fears of openly calling you his then he would do it. He knew you deserved to be worshiped, to have a male that would proudly call you his. He felt like a fool for his reaction to your request and he was prepared to drop to his knees and give you everything you wanted. 

He had stopped by the house to quickly freshen up before hurrying to find you. He knew you would be at the gala, looking as beautiful as ever and he was desperate to lay his eyes on you. His eyes roamed the bodies in the ballroom, shadows dispersing to aid in his search. When he finally saw a glimpse of your smile his heart skipped a beat, he could see you were dancing, your moving body flashing in and out of his line of sight. He darted forward, determined to reach you but when he saw who you were dancing with he stopped in his tracks.  

You were dancing with Eris. Jealousy rose within Azriel in a matter of seconds. He took note of Eris’ hand resting on your lower back too close to your ass to Azriel’s liking, too close to be just a friendly touch. He was pressing you against him, the front of your body flushed against his. Azriel’s heart was racing, the ache that he had gotten used to over the past week enhancing, and he could feel the need to strike at Eris rising within him.

Eris looked up, feeling a pair of eyes on him. When he saw the shadowsinger staring at him with a threatening darkness etched on his face, he leaned down to whisper in your ear. He could feel the anger radiating off the Illyrian spymaster, taking note of the flared wings. Eris’ distaste for the bat made him want to egg him on. Eris had picked up on the fact that there was clearly something going on between you and the shadowsinger and he had taken it upon himself to see how far he could push it before the truth came out. It was his entertainment for the week.  

Eris pulled you in closer to him, his hand sliding down your back ever so slightly, now resting right where your lower back and the curve of your ass meet. Leaning down, his breath fanned your ear as he whispered, quite seductively, “You look absolutely captivating tonight, Y/N. Though I think Autumn colors would suit you even better” 

You couldn’t help the laugh that came out of you, his shameless flirting reminded you of Rhys when he was younger and would flirt with any female that looked his way. Maybe it was a High Lord thing. You weren’t taking it too seriously and you didn’t think Eris meant it in any way other than a playful manner. He liked to jest, you had learned the past week, a side of him many did not understand. “I belong in the Night Court, Eris” you replied.

Azriel watched as Eris leaned down to whisper in your ear, eyes following your every movement. When your head tipped back in laughter at whatever he had said he swore he could feel his heart break. Your hand rested on Eris' shoulder, pointer finger bare. You were not wearing his ring. What did that mean? You never took the ring off. And how were you okay with Eris touching you like this? Azriel felt bile rise up his throat, leaving for the mission while leaving things unresolved now feeling like the gravest mistake he had ever committed.

“I wonder, what has made you so willing to be my friend this past week Y/N? You’re quite pleasant to be around, when you’re not with the shadow man, that is. I noticed you’ve avoided all conversation surrounding the spy. Was it perhaps a lovers tiff?” Eris asked, a devilish smile following suit.

Your eyes widened slightly, how did he know? You didn’t reply immediately, you started to shake your head when he asked, “Do you deny it then?” He raised his eyebrows, lowering his voice even more, lips brushing your ear now.

“Why do you keep asking about him, Eris. Do you feel so threatened? I don’t see how it’s any of your business, given how much you dislike him” You snapped back, regaining some of your composure.

 “Why does it anger you so, dove? I am only commenting on my observations. I’ve see the way you’ve remained quiet when it comes to the shadow singer, and I thought he was your closest confidant.”

“He is my closest confidant, he’s the Spymaster. I report to him”

He chuckled and pulled away slightly, one hand moving up to lift your chin up, the other remaining in the small of your back, pulling you in even tighter,  “So I ask again dear Y/N, do you deny it then?” He leaned closer, you could feel his breath on your lips and you were frozen. Conflicting thoughts of Azriel ran through your mind, while you fixated on Eris, his intense gaze entrancing you. 

And then suddenly Eris was ripped away from you, and all you could see was a flurry of shadows and two flared wings blocking your sight. Azriel.

“Stay away from her, Eris” Azriel snarled, his words dripping with venom. 

Eris let out a chuckle, “Ah, there you are.”

You had to admit the flutter you felt in your chest at his display of jealousy, this was basically what you had wished for that first day in the hallway- but you could feel the people around you starting to stare at the commotion, a chorus of gasps at the assault against the autumn court’s high lord. And you would not let Azriel ruin yours and Rhys’ hard work from the past week to build up a diplomatic friendship with Eris. 

“Azriel,” you reached out for his arm as it was getting ready to grab Eris by the collar, “stop, not here.” you muttered. 

When you touched him your body reacted with warmth and excitement, but your belly dropped when he looked down. The look he gave your hand, at where you were grabbing him, was one of distaste, like he couldn’t bear your touch.

He shook his arm out of your grip, gently, so as not to make even more of a scene and squared his shoulder. His eyes looked down at Eris, snarling down at him one more time before turning to walk out of the ball room, shadows covering him completely. 

You immediately followed him out, trying to bring as little attention to you as possible while still trying to catch up to him. Once outside in the gardens looking out over Velaris you called out to him.

“Azriel! Wait!” You could see he was about to take flight. His winds flapped creating a swirl of wind on the terrace, locks of your hair tumbled out of your updo. It was hard to maintain your balance as you neared Azriel, the power thrumming out of him making it difficult to get near. 

“Az, please” you begged, and finally he turned his head. 

Never in a million years would he have expected to come back to this, to see you with him. In Eris’ arms. He could barely hear through the rush in his ears, he was trying to keep his emotions in check but they were getting the best of him. His wings shook with the power coursing through him, his siphones glowed bright blue, his hands were curled into fists at his sides, every muscle in his body taught with anger, and his shadows swirled around him in a dark storm. He looked every bit terrifying and magnificent in your eyes.

When he met your eyes, the worry in them, the pleading look you were giving him, he felt his breath catch in his throat. He felt that he could barely look at you, he felt so betrayed. The kind of betrayal that would crush him if he didn’t find a way out. 

His deathly stare raised goosebumps along your arms, knees weakening and you fought everything in you not to rush to him and comfort him. You took a shaky breath, “Azriel, I-I don’t know what to say. Where have you been? When did you get here? I-I missed you”

He glared at you, a scoff coming out of him, “Missed me? You have a funny way of showing that Y/N”

It was your turn now to narrow your eyes, how dare he? You were about to speak up when he continued, his anger getting the best of him, breaking the cool indifferent mask he usually displayed.

“I missed you. The entire time I was gone I was worrying about us. Worrying about how you were doing. Worrying about making you feel like shit, but I see you’re doing fine, cozying up to him.” He spat, glaring in the direction you had come from, where Eris was still inside. You could see the anger and the hurt in his eyes. 

“You did make me feel like shit!” You exclaimed, tears lining your eyes as you glared at him. “Azriel you literally disappeared. How was I supposed to even think that you were missing me when you refused to acknowledge me before you left, you left without saying anything, and you didn’t send me ANY sort of message. What was I supposed to think?!?!” Your frustration was getting the best of you, and you were on the verge of yelling. You were sure anyone outside of the ballroom could hear the both of you.

“I needed to gather my thoughts” he muttered

“Well, have you gathered them now?” you snapped at him.

“I-I have, but Y/N, I need you to understand that I only didn’t talk to you because I didn’t know what to say a-and I didn’t want to fuck this up. I am so terrified of losing you, I never thought I could have you and now that I do, or did, fuck I don’t even know, I don’t-didn’t feel worthy of you. Don’t you see? Being with me puts you at risk, every single enemy I have made will want to hurt you. Because of me. And you don’t deserve that. How could I ever live with myself if something happened to you because of me? I can’t bear the thought of putting you in danger.” A franticness had overtaken Azriel, you could see he was spiraling and you wanted nothing more than to pull him out of it. 

Your eyes softened. You understood what he was saying, of course you did. You had felt the same terror take hold of you from time to time, but the love you felt for him overpowered any fears. You only hoped the bond you had built would do the same for him. 

“I just don’t understand” his voice broke now, he could feel his anger slowly dissipating and the hurt in his chest was growing, he could feel himself crumbling “I thought we had promised our hearts to one another” he breathed out, a tear falling out. “I didn’t think I’d see you about to, so willingly let Eris, for mother’s sake, Eris kiss you.” He spat, voice dripping with venom and so much hurt. 

“I thought you were ending things Az! I haven’t seen or heard from you in a week! I didn’t even know you were gone on a mission till days after. You’ve never left without saying goodbye. We’ve never gone this long without talking, or writing, or-or something, all I knew was that you didn’t want me in the way I wanted you. You still haven’t answered my question. TELL ME, what was I supposed to think?!?” You were full on sobbing now, the tears were cascading down your face and you felt like you couldn’t breathe. How had everything gone so wrong?

“You were supposed to think that I would NEVER end what we have. Don’t you see how much this means to me? Don’t you see how much I love you? I would never, Y/N, I would never end us.” Azriel said, all composure gone. You had never seen him this way, breathing heavily, eyes teary.

“You love me?” you whispered, 

“Yes, I love you. You consume me. I never thought I could love like this, I never thought I could find love like this, I never thought I could feel so loved. But you do, you make me feel loved in a way I have never experienced and I would soon rather die than lose you.” The pain in his eyes, his drooped wings, his hands hidden behind his back, all were a testament to the sincerity of his words. “I thought.. I thought I made you feel the same. I thought I was showing you how much I care for you. What you mean to me. But I see now that it was clearly not enough, for you should have no doubt of what I feel for you. Tell me Y/N, do you not feel loved by me? Am I not doing enough?” He looked at you in the eyes as he asked you, a few more tears streaming down his face.

And your resolve broke. You had never seen Azriel cry. You had seen him upset, on the verge of tears even, but never actually seen him cry. And to know you were the cause of that broke something in you and made you run towards him, grabbing your face in his hands. “Azriel. I love you. I love you with everything in me”

His hands came to hold your waist, holding you tight, squeezing you, he needed something to ground him. But you could still see he was holding back, the distrust still simmering in his eyes. You couldn’t stand it, you wanted it gone. You couldn’t bear the thought of causing Azriel any pain. “What were you doing with Eris?” he asked softly, voice barely above a whisper. 

You sighed, holding his head in place so he wouldn’t move it, collecting the tears that fell free with your thumb.  “I-I don’t know. Nothing happened, I didn’t even think he would go in for a kiss. I promise Az. Rhys asked me to help him out this week so I’ve been helping him with court duties. Nothing happened.”

He leaned his forehead against your, and his hands trailed up your body to rest on either side of your face. His eyes were closed, trying with all his might to accept the candor in your voice, trying with all his might to push away the doubts that were trying to overtake his thoughts. 

“But you almost kissed” he said, voice breaking at the end.

“I’m grateful you stopped it, Az. I didn’t want to kiss him, I just froze. I only want to kiss you, always, at all times. No one else.” You implored, praying the mother would help you get through this. To let you and Azriel have the relationship you had both searched for your entire lives. You refused to let this misunderstanding ruin it all.

“I saw you laughing before… it looked like you were enjoying his company”

“I’ll confess I have built somewhat of a friendship with Eris this past week. I was laughing because he said I would look better in autumn colors. I said I belong here. I belong here with you.” 

His eyes darken, eyes locking in on yours with a possessiveness you had only seen in mates. “You’re mine” He growled, his eyes searching for any hint of disagreement. 

At this you furrowed your brows and whispered “How was he supposed to know? How is anyone supposed to know that” You looked down, reminded of why all of this even started in the first place

Azriel sighed, all signs of anger leaving him once again, and lifted your head to look at him “You are right. And I am sorry. I tried coming home to you as fast as I could to tell you that. I’m sorry I was so stubborn before. I don’t want you to think I’m ashamed of you or that this, this beautiful thing we have, is only casual for me. You deserve someone that worships you, that proudly shows you off, and I want to be deserving of you. Please let me try. I will go in there right now and tell everyone that you have my heart, and it will remain forever yours.” He tightened his grip on you. You felt like he was staring into your soul. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry my love, for what I’ve put you through. I fear hurting you and I let my fear blind me to the point I hurt you. I love you, gods, I love you.” His deep voice, rough from the events of the night, pleaded for a second chance. “Give me a chance Y/N to prove to you what you mean to me, and I vow to never stop showing you, if you will give me this chance.”

You could only nod, tired of having waited such long days to feel his lips against yours. At your acceptance Azriel stopped holding back and dipped his head. When your lips met, time ceased to exist. His lips were so soft, so warm, so delicious. You felt alive again, finally back in your lover's arms. Azriel held you with ardor, pouring all the yearning he had felt throughout the past week into the kiss. He was done being shy about his affections for you and he would kiss you, to his heart’s content, for as long as you wanted.

taglist: @acotarxx @fall-myriad @moonlwghts @fictionalmenloversblog @kennedy-brooke @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @rebs2210 @gretavanbobatea @reiincarnatiion @thewarriormoon @hyemishii @thelov3lybookworm @fanboyluvr @alohaangels @lahoete @sstrohma @angelshadowsinger @

[bunny-hoodlum]

not tryna start fights lol. i really enjoy the descriptions of your story’s (they’re really different than most nh stories) but i hate reading unfinished works 😭 ive read wayyyy too many nh stories that end up with cliffhangers so i just wanted to know if there’s any reason why they all seem unfinished before i start getting invested

It's just an odd question to ask, is all, and you could've started your ask with this. Think about how your question came off. I had zero context behind your question and it just sounded bad. Like, most fics online are unfinished. Or they don't get updated for a long ass time. Or the writers just update when they feel like it, as opposed to most who update whenever they can.

Some people have family obligations, physical and or mental health issues.

Me? I probably have ADHD-Primarily Inattentive, I can't afford a diagnosis just yet, but I've always struggled with motivation, organizing myself, energy issues, headspace/focus issues.

Does having multiple ongoing fics seem counterintuitive? Yes, absolutely. But also, no, not at all. Because I'm having fun having multiple things to jump between.

I didn't plan to start multiple things in such a short amount of time. I participated in NHMonth2023 to the best of my ability and found out I understood how to write and thus rly enjoyed short stories, after kind of avoiding and not trying for the entirety of my fandom activity. Being in the discord has inspired most of these new ideas and instead of letting then stay ideas that I might forget about, I decided to make them a reality.

It's really all circumstantial how my Ao3 got to the way that it is. None of this planned or on purpose or all that easy to explain. Look at how long this reply has gotten already.

If you're intrigued but can't get invested, there's nothing I can do about that. If you don't like waiting for something to finish, then you don't. You already know what you like, how you want to handle your reading experience, etc.

Writing takes time. Like a lot of fucking time. When I get in a groove, it takes me all day or all week if I'm lucky. I'm more motivated to finish a chapter in single sitting than I am getting up to eat on those kinds of days, and I wish they'd happen more but I can't be neglectful like that. There's chores, there's spending time with certain people, there's my job, etc.

I actually do gotta slow my roll because my husband is feeling kinda down lately, so I'm going to try and be more available for him and work on my fics at a more casual pace.

Maybe by the end of the year you'll be able to finally read a handful of my new short stories, cuz lord knows when I'll get around to completing my slowburns and doing them justice. 😅

But yeah, just don't read them if you only read completed works? What am I supposed to do about that? 😂 Check in again in a year, see if there's any completed works. That's rly all you can do.

[alexcutecolly]

i started feeling better but now i have a cold n it sucks!! but happy to hear you’re doing better n not so stressed!! uuu I would love some healing time napping in there while he goes about his day or sleeping while laying on his belly with no one else knowing! were small enough that no one would probably see us in him anyway but his uniform is also rly big so there’s no worries and we’re all his ❤️

intestines in safe stuff are super underrated to me cuz its like the same nice pressure of being swallowed but way way longer and v.olo can talk during this one! n he could say how much he trusts us to go into a sensitive spot like that and how he loves the feeling and rubs where we are sometimes tracing our path into his lower belly uuuuu I want him to rly enjoy us in there!!

I wanna be teleported out before it gets to the weird point but theres hours of time before that happrns cuz its slow and long and its so relaxing being gently squeezed around deep in him and knowing its totally safe for us and rly enjoyable for him >w<

uuu hed be surprised how much he likes us in there when we get swallowed the first time! and when we calm down a little bit and get used to where we are n what happened we see its kinda nice in here and V.olo gently presses on his stomach to see if were ok and uuuuu he’s so kind with us!! ❤️

omg yes we spend so much free time just talking and relaxing with him and his team and our mons can play together!! n maybe V.olo holds on to our po.keba.lls and takes care of our team while were in his belly so they get to know him and its like one big happy group!! a pile of us and him and both our mons while we relax and chat abiut ruins after we’re let out and unshrunk sounds like alot of fun too!

if thats what happens then m.erman v.olo would be super fun to journey with! its like we have a warm personal pool in there safe from cold water and deep ocean pressure and we get to look at what he found later and he gets a partner to talk to and not be alone!! hed ask if we wanna join him to look for artefacts and when we say yes hed get us in his mouth with a quick HOMF and swallow us right down so excitedly cuz he loves spending time with us! omg youre right he’d be so pretty with golden scales!! theyd be rly pretty with his grey eyes

Halfsize is so special to me omg!! It’s a lot more effort for him but that means finally getting us down is way more satisfying for him too!! uuuu licking his lips and telling us how pleasantly full he is now and massaging our spot a little as soon as were all the way inside his first stomach just so it’s a little extra comfy for both us and him while he waits uuuuu >w< that sounds rly cute btw id love to hear him humming happily from our new spot in him! We could probably feel him humming and sighing all pleased with this too! uuu him snoozing with a hand over his belly or reading a book until we finally get squished into his tail stomach with a sigh of happiness from him is good too cause he had to work alot to get us down and that has to make him sleepy. and it’s a good thing he’d be solitary cuz then he doesn’t have to get interrupted while he’s enjoying his full belly of his favorite human ❤️ and we get to be in there a long while too getting rested on and rubbed at and a little kiss!!!! >w<

omg omg I’m super duper excited for the new game!! X./Y left a lot of things open and not quite done n the sta.rters didnt get m.egas but this feels like its gonna give it the fixes it needs!! and its a l.egends game and theyre taking their time for it so I’m already rly excited!

- v.olo uwu

I'm alive! Sorry this is a bit late but my mood dropped like crazy this past week 😞 I'm glad to hear you've been doing better! Cold sucks so bad though, hopefully it went away in the meantime! 🥺

Mmmmm I agree! We could totally stay in his belly to heal as he does his errands or takes a nap, it'd be very relaxing and we'd all benefit from it! And it's true, his G.inkgo G.uild uniform can definitely hide us away since it's so cozy and large x3 we're absolutely pretty tiny too, we'd be undetectable basically all the time xD

Ngl, intestines stuff are definitely underrated in vore. Personally I love the thought of travelling through the long tunnel of the small intestine, surrounded by all the villi 🥺👉👈 I'm a big endosoma fan, and simply the idea of exploring someone else's digestive track even on deeper levels makes me very happy xD

So I wouldn't mind if we did this with V.olo's permission lol, he'd probably find it soothing and rub our spot a lot along our way x3 also yeah we'd teleport out before the weird point, but I think being in his intestine would be something very cute, and the squeezing would feel like a hug from him! ❤️

Yeah, his first time eating us would be a bit confusing at the start but then we'd all find ourselves kinda comfortable in the situation 🥺💕 he'd stroke his stomach to reassure us that everything is fine, and that we're perfectly safe inside of him! He's really a kind soul 🥺❤️

Oh I like the idea! We could chill in his belly, maybe to rest after a long day, while he takes care of our p.okemon team as well! They could all play together, he'd give them treats and pets and then the cuddle pile begins xD We'd definitely introduce him to our mons before he eats though, I imagine them going full protective mode if they saw him swallow us down with no context at all xDD and it'd be always lovely to hear him discuss ruins and ancient myths, especially when our beloved p.okemon are there with us!

Omg, now that I think about it, both m.erman!V.olo and n.aga!V.olo sound a bit lonely ;-; the former would be more curious and eager to show us the ancient artefacts he gathered from the bottom of the sea, and take us with him as he talks about them and looks for more 🥺 he knows a good way to keep up safe as he swims underwater, and omgggg, the NOMF as he sends us down would be so adorable!!!

While n.aga!V.olo would relish in spending most of his days on his own, maybe in his cave, if he shared his time and space with us it'd mean we're very special to him! ❤️ Half-sized vore works wonders here, I appreciate when a pred takes longer than usual to gulp down their prey x3 and I bet he'd be so satisfied after we fill his belly! ❤️ He'd definitely lick his lips and he curls up in his coils xD

I imagine he'd be able to send us in his second stomach immediately, but he takes his time to enjoy us in first belly too xD so he doubles the time we get to spend inside of him, hehehe x3 and I bet we'd have even more of his attention, once we've settled in his tail, with all the rubs, the hums and the kisses! x3 that's most likely his favorite spot for us to be, since we're his favorite human 🥺❤️ and we're 100% not coming out for a while xD ❤️ (Mmmmm, I'm definitely not thinking of writing some n.aga!V.olo vore AU rn now, lmao xD)

Oh I had no idea! :O I've only heard people say X./Y are among the worst p.kmn games, I'd love to see what they're gonna include in this new L.egends game! I'm actually intrigued! Plus I liked the combat style and the different gameplay from L.egends: A.rceus, so I can't wait!

[the-woild-is-y-erster]

ok this is for anyone but i think @newsiesfixation @crutchie-69 @toffyrats and @ftm-megamind have asked more times than i can count an im rly sorry i keep forgoring to do it <3

personalities of my newsies ocs, shoe and eel!! my little guys<3

ill start with shoe ig

shoe is kind of a davey. he's trained himself to be quiet.

his parents are irish, but he got bullied so much in school for having an accent that he tried so hard to get rid of it, and now it only comes out when he's really angry. his family, being irish, was big, and had a lot of kids, and he was left on a curb when he was 12, told there wasn't enough food to go around, and went to the queens lodging house.

i decided on a whim last week that he has a stutter when he gets nervous, and relies on eel to get him to slow down and take his time with his words. (also lmk if i ever write his stutter wrong, i really don't want it to be bad)

he was kind of shoved into the back of the group of his siblings as a kid, being the middle child, and he knew his parents really did love him, and they were kind, but he was always the last to eat and they were too busy with the babies to pay much attention to him. he's kind and compassionate, and is very sarcastic and funny. he has a loud voice, but knows when to speak softly. he still speaks a little irish gaelic, but not much, only the pet names and little commands his mother would say.

he's intelligent, but he's not always smart. (does this make sense?)

he and eel adore eachother, despite eel's understandable hesitance to let him get anywhere close to him, because shoe's like. really tall. and chubby. my lil chunky guy<3 but like, most of it is muscle mass? like. hes built like a blacksmith's son if you know what i mean. he's like 5'11 and 200-odd lbs and is. just. so gentle.

he's really good with kids from having so many siblings, but gets frustrated easily. the newsies who have been around for years know not to tease or provoke him too much, because he'll either lash out, or you'd better watch around the corners for his bf, because he can and will forcibly remove you from this plane of exsistence.

eel my buddy. my boy. who was totally not based on me why would you say that.

he's loud, he's funny, and so. so. sad.

he's had a lot of bad experiences with older men, hence his hesitancy to let shoe near him. he adores the feeling of being onstage, and works for medda when he has free time, sometimes as an acrobat, sometimes as a bowery beauty (cus he's kinda short and can pass as female if you give him a wig and a few minutes with a makeup bag.)

his parents were horrible and his brother even worse, and he's terrified of the people he loves leaving him because his brother left him alone in an abusive house to go to univeristy. eel's parents never bothered to look for him after he ran away. his family were fairly well off, so he knew what general comfort was until he ran away, and then quickly learned the rules of the streets.

he sometimes feels like he's too much for shoe, that he's too loud, too touchy, too everything, and tries to distance himself, which just ends in shoe bein like "bbg i dunno why you ever think i would leave you, im too stupid to pull anyone else, and youre also stupid because youre great stfu and come cuddle me"

he loves the stars, and always wished he could get a real telescope.

this boy is smart. like you give him a problem and he has it solved in a minute, he knows how to handle situations, he knows how to lie, he knows how to manipulate, but he's also book smart. he loves history, and while he may not like doing math, he's good at it.

he thinks of dimes as his son, despite there only being a two year difference between them, and he would never admit it to anyone. "little brother? nah, he's a little bother" he is so. so protective over him, because he wants to be the father big brother he never had for dimes. he treats him like any brother would, teasing and joking, but knows when to lay off and when to genuinely ask if he's ok and if he wants to talk or ask for a hug.

he never knows when to ask for help, and has gotten in a lot of trouble for it, be it fights or injuring himself trying to do something alone.

he broke his ankle once, and it never quite healed right, so it hurts when he gets stressed and makes a sick crunchy noise when he rolls it around (which he finds funny to do around the newer newsies and see the horror on their faces)

chiara! who i came up with at like two am!

eel found her in a basket in an alley with a note that said that her parents couldn't care for her, and he was like "aight bet imma be a father at the ripe age of sixteen and imma be the best father there ever was"

she was like. a month old when he found her, and he had literally no clue how to take care of her so he turned to eden (the lodging house keeper shes so nice) and she showed him the ropes of taking care of a baby

once she gets old enough to emote and show preference for things, chiara is very opinionated, and clings onto eel with a death grip, and is very mischevious.

eel and shoe raised her together, so she calls them babbo (eel) and papa (shoe) and doesnt know that dimes isnt actually her brother, and the three of them teach her to sell papers once she gets older. she's also really smart, and starts talking early. eel teaches her italian along with english, and she absolutely adores eden, or 'nonna' as she calls her.

oh my god just thought of this (why am i thinking of aus for characters that dont even technically exsist LMAAOO) in a modern au she'd call dimes/charlie 'char char' or 'charizard' please-

i'll draw her l8r today maybe so you can all see what she looks like

shoe n eel call her fia/fiadh instead of her first name like 90% of the time, and after she becomes a fully fledged newsie, her nickname is nickles, partly because her brother is dimes and the rest of them thought it was funny, and partly because she can wheedle a nickle out of anyone for a pape, and also partly because whenever she and the boys play poker, she bets in nickles.

anyway theyre a horrible little family<3

[sir-sunny]

(Lavender)

- Fukagiri is my ultimate rare pair. Favorite shit. In love with them in all iterations. Though Tokomaru also good ofc. Toko has two hands. But here’s Fukagiri hcs cuz I need people to know my love for them. It’s so hard to find content I gotta start makin it myself.

- Kyoko is the best beta reader and initial editor for Toko cuz she pays really good attention to detail and catches little things, and I imagine she gets easily invested in fiction with more personal stakes. Plus she’s a very fair critic in general.

- Kyoko knows Toko has a crush on her long before Toko does(Toko out here with that internalized homophobia 😔). But no matter who it is Kyoko is never the one to act first in a relationship, especially with all Toko’s stuff she’s gotta deal with. If it’s happening post game, I image Toko eventually confesses by writing a letter to Kyoko like, “Don’t read this for a few weeks ok?” And then she goes to hide on Jabberwock for a while cuz Fear Of Rejection lol.

- Nagito: …Hey Hajime?

Hajime: Yeah?

Nagito: Why has Toko Fukawa hiding behind our trash cans for the past two days?

Hajime: Homosexual crisis, I hear.

Nagito: Ah. Fair enough.

- Kyoko is kinda bad at feelings is the thing lmao. She sits there for like a week after reading the letter, reading it over and over and trying to discuss things with Makoto. Generally poor boy Makoto is the recipient of all Toko AND Kyoko’s gay nonsense He cares them and wants them to be happy but please. Talk to each other about these things just a little. He knows too much.

- I think they take it real slow. Like hand touching is Kyoko Third Base, and as much as Toko fantasizes about romance I feel like she probably gets way to flustered way to easy to go too far too fast. Their first kiss is a few months into dating and all their affection is very private.

- Generally it’s a fairly quiet relationship, mostly on Kyoko’s end. Nobody would guess their dating if not for Toko constantly bragging about how smart and beautiful her girlfriend is especially compared to all your girlfriends. Lmao losers. She’s proven that romance is a game that can be won and she did it.

- Toko is big into small affection like hand holding and needs lots of validation cuz of her anxiety and bad streak with romance in general. Kyoko is always willing to do hand holding, even without gloves when they’re alone. And her compliments are hard to shoot down when she’s so confident and matter of fact and logical.

- Kyoko is much more of a quality time person. Hanging out quietly and reading, or even just standing real close when they’re talking with friends is enough for her. Though she does also like little touches, especially with hair. Tucking it back. Fixing braids. Brushing. Running fingers though it.

- Toko is very attracted to intelligence and conviction. She def fell hard and fast for Kyoko, though it took her a long time to realize it, and mistook it with disdain and jealousy for a while. She’s that one post that’s like. “I had a crush on a guy in my class and so I wrote him a note that said ‘Get out of my school.’”

- Kyoko is most attracted to how passionate Toko can be. I imagine it started as her just wanting to try and understand why Toko’s Like That, and instead of Makoto’s Direct Approach, she started reading Toko’s books and asking her about them. Seeing Toko so in love with her craft and so excited about what she does was def an eye opener in multiple respects.

- This got so long I’m so sorry ahdkahdkshf I just love them.

yes!! tell me abt ur favorite rarepair i love it

i love the idea that kyoko agreed to help toko proof read her writing and at first, she considered it a job, but as time went on, she found herself genuinely enjoying reading toko's work (and in turn, became a fan of her novels)

awww kyoko definitely figures out how toko feels abt before even toko herself does aksgfjskdjg also kyoko turning to makoto for advice but he's rly no good at this type of things :// (he just wants everyone to get along and be happy kasjfgjasd)

oh these two take their relationship SO slow like. during their 10th date, they very cautiously and anxiously let their pinkies rest against each other under the table (they both went home and freaked out abt it in their own ways)

oooo i like to think that toko is surprisingly good when it comes to complementing kyoko (i mean im sure she has a notebook filled with ramblings and poems abt kyoko so)

UAgh kyoko braiding toko's hair,, its just a simple gesture but it rly means a lot between the two of themm,,,

okokokok i kinda love them aksjfgajhdf

[tommyhollandaisesauce]

Let Me Do The Work [t.h.]

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Tom Holland x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 6.2k idk how 

Posted: 11/19/2020

Warnings: Fluff, smut, unprotected sex (wrap it up kids), oral sex (f receiving), maybe too much plot? and definitely a whole lotta lazy sex sue me you’re welcome.

Summary: Tom thinks you deserve a reward after a hard few days at work.

A/N: uhhhh I mean I think I covered all the bases lol. I rly hope you guys like this I think I started it over a year ago and only recently had the motivation to finish and post it. This is basically my brain baby so please lmk how you guys liked it and if you would like to be added to my taglist there’s a google form linked in my bio. Enjoy horn dogs!!

When Tom got home on Wednesday night the last thing he expected his girlfriend to say was “Wanna have sex?” He had asked a few times before if you could and your response was usually something to the effect of “Sorry babe, another time, I’m just exhausted.” He knew your job was taxing and took a lot out of you and, frankly, Tom could survive the work week without getting any. He also knew that once Friday night rolled around it was all systems go; the weekend was yours to fool around as much as you wanted. And he was willing to wait.

Asking never hurt, though. Tom wasn’t annoying about it, at least he hoped he wasn’t. And for all the times you’d asked to have sex after he had a particularly exhausting day on set and he agreed, he didn’t feel super guilty about asking now and then.

It was unusual that Tom would be so exhausted from working that he didn't have any energy left to have sex. There had been some rare days when Tom could barely keep his eyes open even though you were right there, naked and sweaty, and riding his cock right on the living room couch. Your hands would be resting on his broad shoulders, your fingers digging into the muscles beneath his freckled skin as you bounced on his cock and his hands could barely stay put on your waist or hips to help you move. Sure, he liked watching you rise and fall on his lap and he liked seeing himself disappear inside of you and he liked the way your tits bounced with every movement and he liked watching your face. God, he loved your gorgeous face.

Your eyes would flutter open and closed the closer you got and you’d look at him with your big, beautiful eyes that were dark and lust blown and your jaw would go slack and you’d throw your head back in pleasure. Your movements would get sloppier as you’d start shaking and convulsing while you came. His arms would lazily wrap around your waist to pull you closer and you’d nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck, breathing hard against his skin as you came down from your high. But Tom couldn’t find it in himself to even worry about his own orgasm, he just wanted to sleep.

So when he came home to your shared flat around 7 pm from walking Tessa on a particularly boring Wednesday, now that he had a break, and saw you lying on the couch with a glass of red wine in one hand and your other arm thrown over your eyes, he figured it was pointless to ask. You had gotten home sometime while he was out, didn’t bother changing out of your blouse and jeans just yet, popped a bottle open, and poured yourself a glass.

Tom unclipped the leash from Tessa’s collar, allowing her to run free around the flat. Immediately, she trotted over to you, nuzzling your legs with her nose until you caved and gave her a few scratches behind her ears. Tom slipped off his sneakers, padding over to you, causing Tessa to run off in search of her favorite toy. The couch sank under his weight as he sat down next to your head, your eyebrows raised at the shift.

“Hey, stranger,” you muttered, removing your arm from covering your half-lidded eyes. Your eyes sparkled in the dim living room lighting as you looked up at Tom. He couldn’t remember a single time they looked dull. Not during a fight, or when you were sad or tired or sick, never. They reminded him of stars. No matter what, they kept shining.

“Hi love,” Tom leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on your wine-stained lips. The upside-down angle was slightly awkward, but you’d be lying if you said you two hadn’t done the Spider-Man Kiss before, per his request.

You smiled up at him as he pulled away and closed your eyes. Tom threaded his fingers through your messy locks and you relaxed, even more, leaning your head into his hand.

“Long day?” He asked, continuing to run his fingers through your hair.

“Don’t even get me started,” you huffed out, dramatically throwing your arm back over your eyes, which made Tom chuckle at your antics.

“Tell me what happened?” He asked lovingly, and as you lowered your arm you raised a single eyebrow at him.

“You sure?” You asked cautiously, “Because I wouldn’t wish the shit I dealt with today on my worst enemy.”

Tom scoffed, shrugging his shoulders, “Try me.”

You sighed before beginning your story. Today had been insufferable. From the minute you clocked in, to the minute you clocked out, it had been hell. One coworker in particular, with whom you were not super close or friends in any way, kept nagging you about your relationship like she did every single day.

The incessant questioning and probing was getting old and, quite frankly, rude. The questions started out harmless, like everyone else’s when they found out the Tom Holland was your boyfriend. Some asked for autographs or pictures and you declined, saying that if he ever came in Tom would be more than happy to do that. And Tom agreed; you playing messenger was weird and not the type of thing either of you wanted people to get accustomed to. And most people understood; except for one.

The more she asked the worse they got. Personal questions were the norm now. Questions about family members and life together and sex. God, the sex questions never ended. ‘Is it good?’ and ‘What are you guys into?’ were some of her favorites. Sometimes she’d get creative with them and switch them up. And every time, you refused to answer. And you relayed this information to Tom like you did most days, and he rolled his eyes in annoyance at her ignorance before leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to your forehead when he saw you were getting riled up.

You softened immediately and sighed. Tom had a calming effect on you. Just being around him was relaxing. After so long together he still could calm you down. And he was cheaper than your copay for therapy, so hey why not vent to him?

“Just forget about her for now, babe,” Tom sighed out, continuing to stroke your hair, “she’s not worth your energy.”

“You're right,” you exhaled, “I’m home, I got my wine, I got my boy, I can relax.”

“Exactly,” Tom said, laughing at your words. He didn’t feel the need to say anything else as you both relaxed, his fingers still threaded in your hair, until a few more minutes went by, your eyes opened, and you turned your head to make sure you were setting down your not yet empty glass on the coffee table.

A soft “hey” escaped Tom’s lips as he watched you use your arms to lean up and turn to face him. He would’ve spoken more but was cut off as your lips pressed to his, the kiss awkward since you had caught him as he was speaking. His lips were slightly chapped and he tasted like spearmint gum as you hovered over him and moved your lips against his.

Tom sighed into the kiss, bringing one hand up to cup your cheek. You clumsily clambered into Tom’s sweatpants clad lap to straddle him and his other hand sat high on your thigh. The kiss was slow and passionate, neither of you in a rush to go further just yet. You melted into the kiss as his tongue slid along your lower lip to ask for permission to enter. You parted your lips immediately, allowing Tom access. After a few moments of lazily making out like teenagers, you pulled away to catch your breath. You closed your eyes, leaning your forehead against Tom’s as you both panted, trying to catch your breath.

“Can we go to our room?” You mumbled, just loud enough for Tom to hear. Your voice was low, soft, and a little shaky from being so tired. His eyes opened at your words and his ears perked up. Tom pulled his head away from yours and your eyes returned to their half-open state.

“I thought you were tired?” He questioned teasingly, tucking some strands of hair behind both your ears and resting his hands on your cheeks. You reached up and wrapped your fingers around Tom’s wrists, smiling sweetly at him. He was sure his heart damn near melted in his chest at the sight of his sleepy girlfriend asking to have sex with him.

“I am,” you said softly, smirking as Tom ran his hands down your sides and settled over your hips, “why do you think I wanna go to our room?” You joked, wrapping your arms loosely around his neck and ducking your head down to place soft kisses along the side of it. He sighed, tilting his head in the opposite direction to give you more room as your fingers carded through the short, soft curls at the back of his head.

“You sure?” Tom asked breathily, as you continued laying kisses across his jaw and below his ear, “Because I don’t want you to do it just because I want to-“

“Tom,” you huffed, pulling away from his neck, your hands migrating to rest on his shoulders. He straightened up and opened his eyes as the feeling of your soft lips disappeared from his neck. “I’m sure. Now shut up and take me to the bedroom.”

He smiled up at you as he snaked one of his large hands around your waist and the other under one of your legs before shakily standing up. You yelped at the jerky, clumsy action and wrapped your arms tighter around Tom’s neck and your legs around his waist. Tessa jumped up from her bed where she had been lying from the sudden movement as Tom carried you down the hall to where your bedroom was, the door ajar. You giggled as he almost smacked both of you into the door frame and nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck. Tom kicked the door gently to push it open before entering the room, turning around, and kicking it closed again. Tessa scratched at the door for a few seconds before giving up and trotting off back to her bed.

The room was cool and dimly lit by two bedside lamps and the computer monitor on the desk, which had yet to go dark and was emitting a hazy, red-orange glow on everything in the room. The window was cracked open to allow some fresh air in and the sheer, white curtains fluttered every so often due to a random gust of wind.

The room still smelled like Tom though. Sure the scent of your lavender body wash and coconut and vanilla hair products and the eucalyptus candle you occasionally burned was lingering, but it was predominantly Tom scented. It was a clean and fresh smell, not shoe polish or sandalwood or, god forbid AXE. It was a perfect balance of pine and rain and laundry detergent. God, if you could bathe in Tom’s smell you would. It was intoxicating. And having the direct source of the smell pressed against you did little to quell the ache that had appeared between your thighs.

However, Tom never closed doors behind him. The door to the walk-in closet you and Tom shared was halfway open, as was the bathroom door. He always left them just open enough where he could get in and out without having to touch the door. You had no clue when the habit had started. It was only mildly annoying, one of those things you find out about a person only after you start living with them, and you always went and closed them after him. As much as you reminded him to close them, and as much as he promised he would, he never did. Tonight, however, was an exception. One, you were far too tired to do so, and two, there were far more pressing matters at hand than some open doors.

When Tom walked over to the bed until his knees hit the edge and he gently laid you down on top of the soft covers, all thoughts of open doors were immediately forgotten. You relaxed instantly into the comforter, one of your legs propped up and bent at the knee, your arms up by your sides, with one hand absentmindedly scratching at your shoulder. Tom settled his hands at your ankles, rubbing soft circles into the exposed skin with his thumbs as his eyes raked over your body.

You took this time to admire Tom. There aren't enough words in the English language to describe how gorgeous Tom Holland is, even in sweats and an old t-shirt. Everything about him made you crave him more. His loose curls and warm brown eyes and soft smile and broad shoulders and, god, everything about this man drove you wild. You knew that what was hiding under his tight, white t-shirt and grey sweats was worth the many minutes — maybe hours — of sleep you’d lose tonight.

“God, I love you so much,” Tom broke the silence, as he crawled up your body to rest directly on top of you, between your parted legs. His hand trailed up your legs and sides before it settled on your waist and the other on your cheek. Your own hands snaked around his neck, and you pulled him down for a kiss, both of you closing your eyes as your lips collided, melting into one another. Tom quickly picked up right where you left off on the couch, swiping his tongue against your lower lip. Just as quickly, you opened your mouth and his tongue slipped inside, running against your own. Tom wrapped one arm tightly around your waist and with his other arm, he picked you up and pulled both of you higher up on the bed, gently placing you back down amongst the soft pillows.

“Now,” Tom spoke into the kiss after a few moments, “let’s get you outta these jeans.”

“What?” You mumbled against his lips, feigning offense, as his nimble fingers popped open the button on your dark grey, straight leg jeans and pulled down the zipper, “You don’t like my jeans?”

“No, I love your jeans,” he responded, still kissing you, “but right now they’re in the way.”

At that, Tom stuck his fingers through the belt loops on either side of your hips and broke away from the kiss, sitting back on his legs and pulling the denim down your legs. Once you were free of your jeans, he repositioned himself above you and attached his lips to your neck, just as you had done to him earlier. His fingers reached for the buttons on your blouse and clumsily began to undo them. Your hands were in his hair as he left open mouth kisses along your neck and jaw, occasionally biting down a little before running his tongue over the spot to soothe the skin. You could already tell there’d be some dark marks on your neck Tomorrow, but at this point, you didn’t care. You’d just wear a turtleneck the next day.

Eventually, Tom was able to undo all the buttons on your blouse. He pushed the creamy white satin down your shoulders and arms, tossing it somewhere in the room, his lips never leaving your skin. You were now only in your underwear, the chill from the cool air seeping in from the window causing goosebumps to form across your body. Soft, quiet moans escaped from your lips as Tom continued his attack on your newly exposed collarbones and chest. One of his hands came up to massage your breast through the light blue, lace bra you were wearing as he left sloppy kisses over your chest, and you could tell that you were completely soaked watching him do this. He looked up at you from between your breasts, one hand still resting on top of your left one, a cheeky smirk gracing his thin lips at the noises you were emitting.

“I like this color,” Tom said, his voice low and husky but he was grinning. As he spoke, he snapped the band of the bra against your ribs, the sting causing you to flinch a little, “it suits you.”

“Then you’ll be pleased to know that I’m matching today,” you whispered, still heaving slightly. Tom furrowed his eyebrows as he looked down and sure enough, you were wearing matching lace bottoms, not entirely unintentionally. Beaming up at you, Tom traveled down your body, his fingers grazing gently over your skin and his hot breath tickling you as his lips left soft kisses across your stomach, sparks dancing across your flesh in their wake. Slowly, he settled between your legs, your thighs thrown over his shoulders with your feet planted on the mattress on either side of his torso. His own hands were on your hips, holding you down against the bed. He pressed a few gentle kisses on your inner thighs as he began pulling the sides of your underwear down your hips.

Raising your butt off the mattress to help, Tom was able to carefully pull the delicate lace completely off your legs. There had been one prior occasion where he had tugged at your underwear just a little too hard and ripped the fragile material and you had not been too pleased with him after that. From then on, regardless of the nature of the activity, he was very careful in removing your underwear.

Once your underwear had been discarded, he resumed his place between your thighs, his hands finding yours and resting on your stomach just above your hips. Tom continued laying gentle kisses on your hips and inner thighs, everywhere but where you needed him most, each one followed by a soft exhale from you. After a few moments of teasing, he pressed a soft kiss directly on your clit, before licking a long stripe up between your folds. Your breathing hitched as Tom started working on your clit, alternating between gently pulling and sucking at it and circling it with his tongue. It didn’t take long before your back was arching off the bed and your legs began squirming around his head, the familiar knot forming in your lower stomach. Soft pants fell from your lips as Tom pulled away for a second to breathe, eyes fanning over your body, before diving back in, your hands squeezing his own as he reconnected with your pussy. Soon after, your legs began to shake and you bucked your hips upwards, Tom following your movements. As he continued applying firm pressure to your clit, you felt the knot snap, your toes curling and your head falling back into the pillows as you came. White-hot pressure flowed through your body as you rode out your orgasm, a string of soft moans and curses filling the room.

Tom’s tongue rolled lazily around your clit as you exhaled heavily, your body jolting forward and  sharp gasp leaving your throat when he lightly pulled on it with his lips. You felt another shock roll through your body as he continued massaging your clit. He slipped his right hand out of your grip, the other laying flat against your lower abdomen, holding you down as you bucked your hips again. He lifted his head, making direct eye contact with you. His stunning brown eyes beamed up at you through his long eyelashes, clouded over with lust and reflecting the faint light of the lamps on either side of the bed. His breath fanned over your heat, sending chills down your legs.

He was giving you a break. Just because you were tired did not mean Tom was, and after a few days with no action, he was ready to show you just how desperate he was for some.

“More,” you begged, pushing some damp curls that had fallen away from his forehead back. His free hand lowered to between your legs, his touch feather-light as he ran his index finger through your folds, soaked with your own arousal as well as his saliva.

“More?” he questioned teasingly, moving his finger in a figure-eight motion around your clit and your opening, dipping in just for a second before retreating. You nodded quickly to answer him, not trusting yourself to use your voice. “Use your words, baby.”

“Yes,” you choked out as he circled your clit, “please, more.”

“Thought you were tired?” Without even looking at him, you knew he was smirking. You could hear it in his voice. You exhaled in annoyance, groaning quietly as he continued to torment you. He chuckled at your reaction, finally giving in and placing his lips back on your core, as well as slipping a single finger inside, and very soon after, a second. You inhaled sharply at the new feeling, hands darting down to run your fingers through his soft hair, tugging at the curls as if you could control him like a puppet. Either that or he just knew exactly what you wanted, circling and pulling on your sensitive clit while simultaneously pumping his fingers inside you, curling them up ever so slightly to graze your g-spot.

Reaching your second orgasm took mere minutes, leaving you spent and panting harder than after the first. You knew that unless you pulled him away, he’d continue his assault on you. Breathing heavily with parted lips, you tugged harder than before on his hair until his lips left your body with a quiet pop, his own breathing heavy as well. You pushed your fingers through the dark curls that had fallen over his forehead again, attempting to smooth them down. Fortunately or unfortunately, you weren’t sure, but they refused to settle, instead sticking up in odd angles from your constant tugging. Either way, he looked beautiful, all messy hair and lust-filled eyes. Glancing down at him, his glistening lips pressed a kiss to your inner thigh, and another, and another, working up your body until he was eye level with you. His hand settled on your ribcage and yours on the back of his neck as he kissed you roughly on the lips, teeth clashing together, letting you taste yourself.

Tom hovered over you as your lips danced with his for a few minutes, rough and passionate, his large hands grasping at and exposed skin he could find, which was quite difficult considering you were still wearing a bra. His arms coiled around you to get to the clasp, forcing you to wind your arms tighter around his neck and arch your back to create enough room for his arms to pass under you. You could feel him tug at the clasp with one hand, unable to undo it, too distracted by your teeth grazing his bottom lip to adequately focus on the task at hand, which was to get you fully naked.

He just wanted to see you, why was this so fucking difficult?

“Tom, just let me-” you began to say, but Tom quickly cut you off with a firm “no” before fully sitting back on his heels, still leaning over you. His other hand now joined the first in trying to unclip your bra. Propping yourself up on your elbows, your head rolled back, an exaggerated sigh leaving your mouth. You weren’t sure why he insisted on always taking off your bra for you, but boy did he need the practice. As many times as he has tried and you demonstrated, it always took him a few moments, his fingers fumbling with the delicate clasp.

“Oh, for fucks sake-” you snapped, giving up and scooching up to sit up straight, Toms hands falling from behind you and settling in your knees. You didn’t have time for this tonight. His back straightened as he sat up to watch you work your magic, the outline of his thick cock on display under his grey sweatpants catching your attention, all but making you drool. You reached your hands behind you, swiftly undoing the clasp and beginning to tug the delicate straps down your shoulders.

“I almost had it,” you laughed as Tom attempted to salvage what was left of his ego, causing him to pout at you. Why was he so darn cute?

“Maybe on a day when I’m not as tired,” you said, fully pulling the bra from your body, “you can finally get it right, but right now we’re on borrowed time. Head can only boost my energy for so long.”

Tom rolled his eyes briefly before redirecting them to your chest, his hands traveling up from your knees to your shoulders to push you back onto the bed. He resumed his position above you, still fully clothed while you lay under him, completely exposed. His legs settled on either side of one of your thighs, his cock pressing firmly into your leg, straining against his pants. Another wave of chills, which Tom noticed, ran down your body as a gust of wind blew into the room, the cold causing your nipples to harden immediately.

“You cold?” he smirked, bringing a hand up to pinch your left nipple, rolling the bud teasingly between his thumb and index finger. You squinted your eyes at him, which caused him to chuckle.

“Yes, actually-” before you could finish, Toms’s fingers stilled and he gestured over to the open window, his head turning to follow his hand, asking if he should close it. Cupping his cheeks between your hands and turning his face back to you, you exclaimed, “No, oh my god, just fuck me already!”

The look of surprise on Tom’s face at your outburst was that of pure shock, as he very evidently did not expect you to be so desperate. Alternatively, the look on your face was one of slight annoyance as well as desperation and it set Tom into a frenzy. Your eyes were stars again; deep and dark and gleaming with desire. He swore he could see every constellation, every supernova, every inch of the cosmos in your beautiful eyes. After a moment, he whispered, “As you wish,” before leaning down to capture your lips in a softer, slower kiss.

Tom relished this moment. He was with you, the most important, precious person in his life and he got to see you like this. Which reminded him: he was still clothed. You seemed to have had a similar thought, as he felt your delicate fingers graze the sides of his torso as you searched for the hem of his shirt. Finding it, you started pulling it up, allowing Tom to break away from the kiss to pull the t-shirt over his head and chuck it somewhere into the room before reconnecting his lips with yours.

You raked your nails down his pecs as he deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue past your lips. The sensation caused Tom to exhale into the kiss, eliciting a giggle from you. He broke away from your lips, ghosting over your jaw before settling on your neck in a spot he had yet to leave a mark on. You traced your hands down his muscular chest and over the prominent grooves of his abs, settling on his waistband and undoing the loose bow he’d tied. Pushing his sweats and boxers down at the same time, he kicked them off, letting them fall over the foot of the bed and land on the ground with a soft thud. His cock audibly slapped against his lower abdomen, the head red and already leaking precum. Reaching down with one hand, you wrapped your fingers around his length, spreading the sticky fluid around his sensitive tip with your thumb causing him to rut into your hand. You pumped your hand a few times slowly, using your fingers to press against that one extra sensitive spot right under the head, making Tom gasp against your neck.

You could feel Tom’s hands reach down to push your legs open for him to settle between them, the tip of his dick mere inches from your entrance. He was now out of reach, and he hissed softly at the loss of contact between your hand and his very erect cock. His arms rested on the bed on either side of your head, hot breath fanning over your face. His eyes were half-open and glossy as he looked down at you, writhing under him, waiting for him to fill you.

“Ready?” he whispered against your lips. Since day one, Tom always asked for explicit consent before, always making sure that you were comfortable. You loved it. It was never a mood killer, in fact, it made the whole interaction that much more intimate.

“Yeah,” you whispered breathlessly as you gazed up at him, nodding slightly. You tilted your head up to catch his lips in another kiss, full of passion and desire and love. God, you loved this man so much it would surely be the death of you.

After a few moments, he pulled back, looking you directly in the eyes and whispering a quiet “okay”, one of his hands moving down to hold his dick, running the tip through your soaked folds, grazing your clit, and causing you to jump at the unexpected feeling. Guiding himself in, he slowly slid into your drenched core until his hips were flush with the backs of your thighs. Tom’s eyes fluttered shut, and his eyebrows furrowing as a exhale of pleasure left his lips at the feeling of your walls tightening around him. “Fuck...” He grunted through clenched teeth.

He waited like that, buried inside your tight pussy, letting you adjust to the feeling of his cock inside you. And he’d wait like that until you would tell him to move. While he waited his lips ran over your neck and shoulder, leaving soft, loving kisses in their wake. After a few moments, you tugged on his messy hair, signaling him to look up at you. “Move,” you pleaded quietly before he pressed his lips to yours and adjusted himself to begin moving. Your eyes fell closed as he pulled his hips back slowly, until he was almost out, then snapped them forward in one fluid motion, causing you to yelp. He eased into a steady rhythm, rocking his hips, hitting that one spot deep inside you that made you yelp every time the tip of his dick hit it.

“Y/n/n, open your eyes.” He whispered sweetly against your skin as he left soft kisses on your cheek and jawline. You complied, letting your eyes slowly flutter open and look up at the ceiling, Tom soon emerging from the crook of your neck to meet your gaze, smiling. You took this opportunity to admire him as he hovered above you. His short hair was a sweaty, tousled mess, sticking up in odd directions from your fingers tugging at it earlier. His thin, pink lips were now swollen and darker from your fervent kisses. His freckled cheeks were flushed a deep pink. His dark brown eyes made you melt, looking down at you in a way that made you forget about everything else going on in the world. It was just the two of you, in the home you shared, making love.

You snaked your arms around Tom’s toned body, your nails leaving crescent-shaped indents on his shoulder blades, pulling him as close as you could get him as his thrusts sped up, becoming sloppier. His hand slipped between your bodies and rubbed rapid circles around your already overly sensitive clit. Gasps and moans fell from both of your lips. You could feel the familiar knot already tightening in your abdomen as his thrusts became more erratic. He knew you were close, your walls clenching around him as he relentlessly pounded into you, chasing his own high to catch up to you.

“Tom- Tommy I’m close.” Your words were music to his ears, he knew he wouldn’t be able to last much longer. He dropped his head back into the crook of your neck, littering your skin with kisses to muffle the loud moans that threatened to spill from his throat that he knew would certainly annoy the neighbors. One of your hands traveled up the base of his neck into his hair, closing your finger in his curls, pulling on them gently the way you knew drove him crazy.

“I know,” he panted against your neck, “me too.” His fingers never stilled, continuing to rub fast, tight circles against your clit until you crashed over the edge, the knot in your stomach snapping for the third time that night, pleasure-filled spasms racking your body, and loud moans spilling from your lips. A few more rough thrusts and the muscles in his shoulders tensed, his body lurching against yours as he came, releasing inside you. His lips found yours as you both tumbled over the precipice in unison, one of his arms wrapping around your waist and snaking up your back, his hand settling between your shoulder blades. He held you up like that, your back slightly arched and your breasts pressed against his chest as he continued to sporadically buck up inside you, riding out both your highs until he couldn’t support his weight anymore and he collapsed on top of you, still inside you.

You pulled him close, wrapping your arms around his neck as he gently placed his forehead against yours, both of you panting as if you had just run a marathon. You both stay like that for a few moments, chests meeting with every inhale, breathing the same air. Groggily, your eyes open only to find Tom already looking at you, his dark chocolate eyes soft and a small smile gracing his lips as he admired you in your post-orgasm bliss. Your cheeks were flushed, dark eyes hidden behind half-closed lids, and lips a deep pink and kiss-swollen.

"What?" You asked, placing your hand on the side of his face, stroking his cheekbone delicately with your thumb. He leaned deeper into your touch, relishing in the feeling of your soft hand caressing his face.

"Nothing," he muttered, "You're just amazing."

"Amazing in bed?" You asked sarcastically, a cheeky grin spreading across your lips, "Thanks, I try."

"No-" he starts, before seeing the bewildered look on your face and correcting himself, "well, yes, you are, but I meant in general. I love you so much Y/n, I don't know what I'd do without you."

You looked up at him in surprise. Moments of vulnerability like this were not uncommon between the two of you. You both frequently told the other how much they meant to you, how you couldn’t imagine life without the other person. And yes, this did usually occur right after sex, when both your emotions and hormones were at a high. No matter how many times he said things like this you could never get used to the sound of his voice saying those words to you.

“How did I get so lucky?” You wondered aloud, continuing to run your thumb over his cheek.

“Dunno,” he said cheekily, shrugging his shoulders, “good karma?”

Your melodic laugh filled his ears, your eyes closing as you giggled at his stupid joke. He leaned down to kiss you, cutting off your laughing. Your arms wound around his neck again as he deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue past your lips, making you groan. After a moment he pulled back, placing a kiss on your cheek and gently pulling out of you, flopping onto the bed next to you. He pulled you into his side, holding you in his arms. You nuzzled your head against his chest, his heart still beating rapidly under your hand. You two laid like that for several minutes, sweaty and warm, stuck to one another.

Your eyelids began getting heavy and you almost slipped off into a deep sleep before Tom shifted under you, gently rolling you off him and getting up to go to the bathroom. You could hear water running for a few seconds before shutting off and Tom emerged from the doorway holding a washcloth. He sat down on the edge of the bed and used the warm towel to clean up the mess between your legs before setting it down on the bedside table. He leaned down, kissed your forehead, and mumbled something against your temple. "Wanna go again?"

Your eyes shot open. He flashed you a crooked smile, raising his one messy eyebrow suggestively. Is he serious?

“Tom, I’m so tired-” you started, but he cut you off with a peck on the lips, short and sweet.

“That’s not what I asked love,” his voice was lower, seductive, as he maneuvered to hover over you again, his head dipping into the crook of your neck to lay more kisses down on your already heavily marked skin. He is serious, oh my god.

You hesitated for a moment before caving in, “Yeah…” you trailed off as he nipped at your collarbone, “but I have no energy anymore.”

“That’s alright darling,” he whispered into your ear, sending chills down your spine at the pet name that he knew would drive you crazy, “you just relax and let me do all the work.”

-

A/N: The amount of times Grammarly told me I had errors when I was writing this when I didn’t was ridiculous oml lol but hey it’s done!! I’m really proud of it obviously I will keep writing and will get better, but hey my first fic and I don’t hate it. anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this, requests are open right now so if you would like a short lil blurb feel free to send me something! 

Tags: @hollandprkr​ @itstaskeen​

[i8jisoo]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader 

han x reader | part five of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff

↬ warnings; pregnancy & child-birth

↬ notes; jisung lil qt jajajaja i cant i love him

u guys had been engaged for a few months n u two found out early on when u missed ur period

han was actually the one who figured it out n he dropped so many hints that u were pregnant 

he ends up flat out telling u that ur pregnant

“okay, you’re pregnant. it’s obvious!! how can you not tell!!”

sure enough the test confirmed what jisung was thinking the whole time

he’s very attentive nd hes so attached to u

u assure him ur okay to go to the bathroom alone

or go out for work

or cook dinner by yourself

he thinks anything is not safe for you to do

i feel like han is the really worried caring person, constantly thinking of the worst things that could happen n hes so buried by the worrying

his day probably goes - wake up, eat breakfast with u, practice, come back for lunch, go back and finish up practice, cuddle with u, (sometimes make dinner), eat dinner, do whatever chores need to still be finished, (write lyrics when he can), get ready for bed with u, wait until u fall asleep, talk to the baby for about half an hour, then finally he will sleep (if he isn’t up working extra)

hes worn out :(

everybody is rly worried about him n he just tells them hes fine

han rants to u about the boys talking to him asking him about it and u cant really do much except sit there in silence and nod

one day its all just too much for him

he just bursts into tears

“am i doing this right?” 🥺

u assure him he’s doing everything well but he needs to slow down

“baby, you need to take some time for yourself. you don’t need to worry about me, i’m fine. you are not, you need to relax okay?”

“can we just lay down?” “of course we can.” :(

from now on he decides to just come back for dinner like he used to, instead just staying home on bad days for u

he likes to lay his head in ur lap n watch a movie or read a book or just sleep

he will do anything for u, whether it be making u disgusting combos of food or dealing with ur crying over sad movies

mmm he loooovveesss skinship now that u r pregnant

backhugs always

just imagine him with his hands encased around the lower part of ur bump, his head and hair brushing against ur neck and chin with his chin pressed against ur shoulder

he’ll talk to u sweet af

he mentions to u a lot how he wants to marry u already

u guys just delayed the wedding for awhile since u would be uncomfortable in a dress and heels + u would be busy with ur baby after

he sits around a lot doing things just to be around u but to be relaxed while doing so

lots of kisses on ur bump because its even better than ur cheeks and lips or forehead or hand

he does the whooollee nursery by himself

he likes to lay on the soft carpet in there

he’ll sometimes write lyrics in there

maybe make music n shit

he likes it when u sit in the chair thats there for when u wanna sit and feed or just sit there n rock so u can put them to sleep

unlike everyone else yall figure out the gender before the birth

a rly cute cake that’s got blue n pink marbled fondant to cover it

its hot as hell n jisung is just clinging to u while making rounds with u around the backyard

its super cute trust me

u guys have the iconic game where u guess the circumference of ur bump 😌

guess who guesses right !!

nobody other than yang jeongin king of measuring 😍

its time for u guys to cut the cake n u two are actually nervous for this part

u guys have like forty people at ur house just watching u and waiting for the cake to be cut

u cut into it n theres the blue cake that was underneath the frosting n fondant

“we’re having a boy!”

group huggg

u guys are actually great at hiding the pregnancy and were going to release pictures from the duration of it after ur baby was born

hes hoo vv ee rr in gg the last few weeks

u have this cute sized bump, it’s just absolutely adorable

its cute tho u have this lil waddle n he’ll help u with everything u need 🥺

his clothes are all u need

now u two also had to get induced like changbin and his now wife

hes just singin n hummin while he holds ur hands n lets u rest against him

he’ll get in his final words to his little boy before he’s here

jisung is so sure ur gonna break his hands while hes ur #1 fan in the delivery room but then he hears the cries and ur grip loosens around his hands

ur baby boy is just laying on ur chest before jisung is like

“he’s so cute.”

and ur just sniffling and jisung is like aww thats cute

then u look at him so sadly

“but i hurt ur hands” :(

he looks at u like 0_0 & just laughs

he gives his red hands a good look, they DO hurt but he doesnt rly care cause its already going away

“yea well i bet pushing this squishy baby out hurt more!!”

u nod and laugh, knowing hes right

the room is silent while u cuddle with ur brand new baby boy

“u think he’s gonna be a rap star just like me?”

“han, shut up.”

big pout :(

“fine, but i’m sure he’s gonna be a free style genius just like me.”

tons of pics and he’s blowing up everyones phones with pictures of ur little boy in his cot

+ bonus , jisung’s favorite part about your pregnancy was how you had grown so kind

he swore u were almost like candy rotting a tooth as u spoke to him

sure u had those days where u were irritated and upset

but u could be talked down in an instant with jisungs’ touch or voice, it somehow always worked to soothe u

he remembered this one time u were upset for whatever reason, but hey u were the pregnant one!!

u pouted and had ur brows furrowed nearly half the hour u were sitting on the sofa while jisung was working with papers spread on the coffee table

he let u come and sit next to him, soon letting u lay ur head down in his lap

his hand would brush against your bump, immediately seeing your face soften and a smile on your lips

there was the y/n he remembered waking up this morning

©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

[shingia]

Hello!!! I love ur fics sm 😭💖 This is weirdly specific and been plaguing my mind for days,,, Can I req an angsty fic where Atsumu broke up with the reader because he wants to chase his dreams and ultimately leaves but with the reader saying "I'll wait" . A few months later he seeks for the reader again and finds out the reader has terminal illness and is dying. You can decide if there's major character death or a miracle,,,, please and thank u so much!!

𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐨𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐨 - 𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐮 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

aw thank youuuu <33 and also WOW this request is in-tense, i modified the ‘terminal illness’ part a little bit for plot convenience, but i rly hope you’re gonna like it ! i am : stressed. also, i’m a sucker for happy endings (just ignore my last bokuto fic) so i couldn’t go full angst on that one 😅

quick storytime : my great grandpa died from heartbreak and i always thought it was a beautiful (yet very sad) way to die, so i guess that’s where i got my inspiration from <3

⤷  atsumu x gn!reader | angst | word count : 1.7K

warnings : hospital environment, heart condition, mild description of ‘illness’ and mentions of death (a little)

your first kiss with miya atsumu had been sloppy, dizzy, with a strong scent of rum and smudged lip balm all over your lips. but there was no doubt that it had been the best kiss of your entire lives…

…just like your last had been the worst. 

two months later, atsumu still couldn’t forget the salty taste of your lips that begged him not to leave. if he focused hard enough, he could even remember the feeling of your hands desperately clinging to his jacket in a last attempt at making him stay by your side.

but he didn’t, and as much as he hated himself for putting an end - even temporary - to what had been the most beautiful chapter of his life, he had never regretted his decision ; and he knew exactly why. you had promised to wait for him, and in pure egoism, he knew and hoped that you would. because no matter the distance, he was still madly in love with you.

which is why he did not understand why osamu was so outraged when he told him that he was finally ready to come back to you. but the younger twin knew things that his brother didn’t - he had seen you let yourself waste away, like nothing else mattered without the one you loved.

but more than that, atsumu did not know about the secret his brother promised to keep. he did not know that, two weeks ago, osamu had found you unconscious in your living room with an alarmingly slow heartbeat. the poor boy had not understood everything the doctors had told him - but whatever a cardiogenic shock was, he knew that it would have carried you off if without his intervention.

however, you had been categorical : atsumu shouldn’t not know about this, under any pretext. you refused to be a burden to the pursuit of his dreams for which he had already sacrificed so much for. but now that atsumu was back, something about this promise didn’t sit right with his brother. and so he decided to tell him everything.

« …most doctors thought about a standard heart attack » he told him after explaining the situation, on the lookout for any impulsive reaction from his brother. « … but one of them talked about something else. you might want to sit down ».

but atsumu couldn’t care less about his brother’s advice. actually, he didn’t care about anything else than you right now. it was already taking a lot of effort for him to stand there listening to samu instead of being on his way to the hospital - but he stayed. for an obscure reason that he didn’t really understand, he stayed.

« did you know that people can die of heartbreak ? » osamu asked, more serious than he had ever been in his whole life. 

the blonde twin felt like the ground had suddenly swallowed him whole - although his brother was trying his best not to sound too accusating, it was more than obvious that whatever situation you were in was because of him. and only him.

« no they can’t » he tried to protest, not even believing in his own words. panic was beginning to win him over - and in a matter of seconds, he lost all his composure « WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU NOT MOVING ? LET’S GO ! » he shouted, already opening the front door. at that moment, one question burned his lips, but he knew he would never have the guts to ask it out loud. 

‘did i kill them ?’

——

the steady beeps of all the machines around you were the only thing disrupting the deafening silence of your hospital room. you were sick of spending your days alone. but you had no right to complain, osamu had offered to come and see you after work every day, but you had politely refused. well, politely was a big word… your body was so exhausted that you had trouble articulating simple phrases, and therefore exclusively communicated through nods or hand gestures.

your phone had been confiscated and the doctors kept you away from the news - or at least from the negative news, because they knew that your heart might give out at the tiniest emotional distress.

which is why you were so surprised to hear a knock on your door at about 3pm, outside of the nurses’ shift hours. knowing that you were too weak to talk, osamu let himself in, slowly closing the door behind him before coming closer to your bed.

« how are you doing ? » he asked, resting his hands on the other end of the bed. you shrugged, pointing at the IV and all the monitoring surrounding you. as long as these machines were there, it was hard to feel better than just ok. « listen, um… someone is here for you. the doctors said i could bring him in, but i wanted your authorization first… » he started before clearing his throat. « atsumu is back. do you- are you ready to see him ? ».

ready was probably not an appropriated word. but after two months spent pretending that he was still laying next to you in bed every night, still texting you good morning every day, still sending you the dumbest memes at the most random times, it would have been a huge mistake to refuse osamu’s proposition.

and so he let him in. obviously, atsumu had orders from the doctors and his brother : don’t run, don’t move too fast, don’t speak too soon, don’t touch them without warning. but nobody had asked him not to cry. and how could his eyes stay dry when you looked so fragile and so vulnerable ?

osamu quietly left the room, leaving the two of you together not without apprehension. but if there was one thing he could trust his brother on, it was taking care of you. two months could not have gotten the better of four years of relationship.

but as much as he cared about you, atsumu had always been - and still was - pretty bad with words. and the first ones that left his mouth were a great example. « are you going to die ? » he asked in a shaky voice, brows knitted.

you would have given him an answer if you had one, but you didn’t. the doctors said that you had gone through the most painful part, but the risks of aggravations were still too important to let you go home. you were not 100% safe yet.

« i told you i’d wait » you spoke in a hoarse voice, the beep of your heart monitor getting a little bit faster.

the steps atsumu took towards you were slow, like he had been told, but just one glance at his eyes was enough to know that deep down, he was dying to feel your skin against his.

« i know you probably hate me right now. and for good reasons » he started as he sat on the chair next to your bed, still painfully avoiding any contact. « but there’s something i need to tell you, in case… in case… well, if something were to happen ».

his eyes lingered on your fingertips, blue and cold, and his whole body tensed at once. the thought that everything you were going through had been caused by his own selfishness was driving him crazy. but he had one last thing to keep himself grounded, and that thing was exactly what he was about to tell you.

« i love you. but i caused you so much trouble that i think there’s only one way to prove it… » he said, taking a deep breath before finally resting a timid hand on your arm. « i want to marry you. right now. i don’t fucking care if it’s not considered official, i just want you to know that leaving you was probably the biggest mistake i ever did. and that i’m not leaving ever again. so fuck it, let’s get married ! you almost died, life’s too short to plan a stupid ceremony ».

he stopped for a few seconds, panting from his teary monologue and paying attention to any beep or other sound that might indicate that he had made things worse for you. but it seemed like you were doing ok. how could you not be ? the love of your life had just proposed to you - sure, it wasn’t how you had imagined it, but wasn’t it even more beautiful like that ?

the tears that started rolling down your cheeks were undoubtedly tears of happiness and relief to know that, finally, your life was back to normal. atsumu was your normality, and for the first time in two months, you finally felt like you had a purpose. you had no idea if soulmates existed, but what you had with atsumu seemed more than close enough.

if someone had entered the room at that moment, it’d probably have taken them several minutes to understand what was going on. two young adults, crying yet smiling, one of them laying on a hospital bed looking like they had been through hell and back, and the other tearing off two pieces of his t-shirt and looking genuinely proud of himself -  nothing about this made sense.

« my apologies, it was the easiest way to make us rings » atsumu chuckled, eyes still blurry as grabbed your hand in his with infinite tenderness. slowly, he tied the piece of cloth around your ring finger, loosely enough so that the doctors would not consider it dangerous for your blood circulation.

« i’m keeping that until you’re getting out of here. by my side. » he affirmed, pointing at his own makeshift ring before looking right into your eyes, as serious as ever. « and i’m also keeping you. forever. consider this my wedding vows »

as much as he hated to phrase it like that, you could both die in peace now.

i spent so much time on medical sites to be as accurate as i could, i felt like meredith mf grey for a few hours

@toworuu @catwithangerissues

[00core]

hiya everyone! i am so excited to join this rp, like rly i’ve been thinking abt it all week. my name is vic (he/they) and i write for yejun and i will be writing for saem (@se0ulscape) too. they’re both versions of muses of mine that i wrote for a long time ago that i’m happy to find places for here. i will be posting a second intro for saem on his blog, so under the cut you will get to read all about yejun (which you can also do so here). i’m available for plotting both here (will be slow) or on discord (considerably faster) which you can add me on (lgbtodoroki#0739) just pls let me know who you are! anyways, thanks for reading this and i hope to plot with y’all soon!

tldr backstory;

yejun is the son of a well accomplished physics professor who teaches at snu and a kindergarten teacher and has a very complicated relationship with both of them 

he has an older half-brother who he’s never met and a twin sister he’s constantly compared too which made life really hard for him growing up

tw / he and his dad have a very bad relationship to the point where it kind of ruined all his relationships with his family in the house (ie. resenting his sister and mother) which was filled with a lot of emotional and sometimes physical abuse so he turned to drinking

tw / his dad kinda picked on him for two reasons: one) he was (still is) very obviously attracted to boys, and two) he is very smart but did very bad in school (was misdiagnosed with adhd but never treated for it) and acted out a lot (ie. getting detention for talking/not sitting still and failing classes) 

it boiled down to one night where he finally left when he was seventeen and never went back home, during which this time he was couch surfing a lot and basically homeless 

here’s where things get silly: about six months ago, yejun was under the impression that he was living a completely different life

tw / he was in love with his childhood best friend and the two of them were dating and living happily together, not only this but he was formally diagnosed with ptsd and bipolar disorder and completely sober, working a 9 to 5 that he loved, etc. 

but suddenly he woke up one day and things were kind of back in that state they had been before and he’s not sure if it was a dream or if it really happened, too scared to figure it out he’s been kind of avoiding it (pretending like he doesn’t have all these super hyper realistic memories of something that never happened) and still getting used to being back where he was  

he’s twenty-one now and so that means like... four years of his life he doesn’t remember and knowing of one person he was kind of friends with before who lives far away from seoul and is willing to take him in (thank u sir mouse @mousettrap) he comes to ville city in the very beautiful region of undisclosed 

tw / so now yejun’s kinda... in a weird space between like mental disorders and lives which has sent him back into the dark ages (or he never left? ooooOOOOoo) where he’s drinking and doing illicit things for money, just trying to make ends meet and very thankful to his roommate for letting him live with him in such a weird and desperate time of his life 

other: 

things he loves: video games (mostly open world/map), comic books (including manga, marvel, and dc), films (esp horror and superhero movies), cats (he had two in his “former life”), space/astrophysics (a rare good at math gay), abba (self explanitory). 

tw / things he hates: talking about his family, his disorders, his drinking problem, loud open spaces, social events (esp where drinking is involved), having to be friendly. 

[synchlora]

So other aspects of survival in the apocalypse au? Wouldn't ranboo need like physical therapy after he gets his arm cut off? His balance would be totally off and he was bed bound for a really like time, completely reliant on medication. I can imagine a concoction of pain med and like anti biotics and other meds were great for him or his stomach. How does he recover with eating? His balance? His strength? His endurance? Will it ever be the same or is he (besides the lack of arm) permanently changed now?

bro I would fucking die for u king thank u for the ask <33 gonna just dump everything here so I apologize if the answers aren't super structured lmao

(the usual warnings of medical discussion, malpractice, and general descriptions of a very rough recovery from a surgery. stay safe please)

theyd definitely help him out w physical therapy, thought it'd probably be a while until he gets back on his feet bc of the infection. hes bedridden for. probably two months tbh, its rough. the whole time he's fighting off the infection and also dealing w the nastier side effects of the medications he's on (ie dependencies on pain killers theyre running low on, antibiotics fucking up his gut, and a lack of medicine for treating severe ocd which has Never been worse).

so the first priority would likely be making sure hes even comfortable enough to move around. theyd definitely take it slow, working on having him just walk around the campsite/rv for a few minutes a day until he can build up more strength. this isn't just physical therapy for getting used to the new balance of missing an arm, its also re-adjusting to movement after having been bedridden for so long and being So fucking sick.

they expend a lot of resources, especially food which they can't afford to spare, on getting him back up to health. he has bad reactions to a lot of rly strong foods and he has to be careful not to eat too much at once or else his stomach just can't handle it. but the one thing they make sure of despite everything is they make sure he drinks fuck tons of water. he needs more fluids bc he's sick as hell but because he's also so often just passing food right through his system or throwing it right back up, hes very prone to dehydration. they are lucky they have a good source of water (uhhh pretend like i have this worked out bc I dont yet <3 just know they have some steady source lmao) because that's half of what's keeping him alive.

overall, his diet for recovery is mainly canned things, particularly stuff high in protein. this meant soups, canned tuna, cooked canned veggies, and any other things they could salvage that seemed light on the stomach but also pretty heavy in protein. ranboo cannot fucking stomach eating chicken noodle soup, cooked carrots, and tuna (or any fish really, not worth the risk) after his recovery. he had way too fucking much of that during the most awful period of his life and he physically can't eat those foods anymore.

and it sucks because those are often the foods they can find. they've got canned foods all over, its most of what they have in the beginning and ranboo just. cannot eat a lot of it. and thats a huge change and massive adjustment they all have to make. its absolutely something ranboo feels a lot of guilt over, feels like they have to do so much to work around it and it just generally sucks getting into a headspace like that.

back to physical strength and recovery, it takes a while but he learns how to balance himself and where his center of mass has shifted. and while he knows how to balance now, he still has to build up strength and muscle mass he lost from literally starving half the time from a combination of a genuine lack of food and from being unable to keep anything down. there was a period of about a week where he wasn't keeping just about anything but water down and the other three we fucking terrified they were gonna lose him. so hes got a long way to go to get physical strength back.

this was a huge point where protein was important and these couple weeks of building that strength and eating that diet are a big factor in why he can't eat many of those foods now.

but the thing is, living in an apocalypse isn't exactly prime real estate for recovering from major surgery and an infection that by all natural laws Should Have killed him. theyre on the run a lot and even the rv can be unsafe at times. while during his recovery hes not actively going on missions with the others, there are still nights where they have to run to avoid anyone finding the campsite (and tbh i may even re-write the rv to be mobile later bc I just Cannot imagine them staying in one place for so long when its so incredibly dangerous lmao).

and so that means moving. which can be very difficult even on the Best nights. nights when his body Doesn't feel like its on fire screaming for fentanil, nights where he Doesn't feel like his lungs are going to collapse from coughing, nights where he Doesnt feel phantom pains of his arm getting shredded to pieces.

oh! and phantom pains that's a thing. he experiences it pretty bad, especially in those first months after amputation. they are excruciating and often keep him from sleeping well if at all. his sleep is already so fucked up by pain and phantom pains are just one of many things that pile into the category of shit that keeps him up at night.

he is absolutely permanently changed in many many ways. from very physical things (like the amputation, massive loss of weight and muscle mass, and being unable to hold food down) to a lot of mental shit (like the trauma of the entire surgery, the hellish three months of recovery, and his ocd getting Much worse) its really fuckin rough. hes got his friends (more like his family by now) but that absolutely does not mean its all happy times. there are bad days. there are worse days. there are days where he can't do anything but scream and cry, days where he doesn't even feel real, days where he wishes he wasn't real.

but there is recovery. even within all of the changes and trauma, he does have people he can rely on and who rely on him. he has a family that wouldn't leave him behind for anything and who have gone to the ends of the earth to show that devotion and care in the past. lifes not perfect, jesus christ its far from even good most of the time, but its not all doom and gloom either. its singing around campfires with a family you stitched together in a month, its laughing until you cry into your best friends shoulder, its falling asleep in one anothers arms because you feel so incredibly inexplicably safe.

and maybe thats what keeps them going.

[ad1thi]

If your still doing fic recs, could u rec any soft stevetony ones?

absolutely!! this got pretty long so ive hidden most of it under a read-more so i don’t annoy people. a couple of authors feature more than once. ive tried to avoid that as much as possible, but if an author features more than once - take that as a sign that they have rly good stuff for soft stevetony

disclaimer: don’t forget to leave kudos and comments for every author!! (a disclaimer i regrettably forgot to add to previous fic rec lists but will be adding from now on)

soda pops: @starklysteve

If anybody asks, Steve would smile and say it was very romantic. Very Tony. Because if he went into any further detail, nobody would quite believe him.

Tony, on the other hand, would laugh and say that Steve’s in love with a man in a can. So, really, it wasn’t outside the natural progression of things.

me voy pa’l pueblo: @firebrands

two times steve walks away, and one time that tony walks with him.

/ or, my very fluffy take on my bingo card prompt "farewells." steve is on vacation when he meets tony.

fill for my stony bingo prompt: farewells; also for bookworminaslump on tumblr who asked for a tourist/knowledgeable local au!

Tumblr Ficlets:  @omg-just-peachy (this is 115 chapters of stevetony being soft!!)

A collection of enough tooth-rotting fluff to last a year, all in one place.

tender offerings: @omg-just-peachy

Five times Steve carried Tony to bed.

the best thing (is that it’s happening to you and me):  @captainstarkreportingforduty

Or, five times the team saw Steve Rogers and Tony Stark in love.

Sweet On You: @miniblackraven

It’s the 1940’s and Tony is working as a Donut Doll for the Red Cross. His job is to go around to various military bases and offer comfort food and conversation to homesick soldiers. He’s come to expect a lot of things in this job, but he doesn’t expect to fall in love with Captain America, the hottest most awkward soldier Tony has ever met.

Bespectacled Avengers Society (Membership of One):  @baffledkingcomposinghallelujah

Tony gets glasses. Glasses get a Tony. Steve loses his mind and walks into walls.

a flower crown for your love: @anthonyed

"There, there," Pepper cooed. "Tony likes flowers?" she said with a shred of doubt in her tone. But when Steve peered up, she's smiling her bright toothy smile. He squinted and she sighed, dropping her hand from his shoulder. "He does." she insisted. "Even more so than me."

if this was a movie: @omg-just-peachy

“One of our seniors is being generous with his time this year—by force of his own actions, but generous none the less—and he’d be happy to help you, I’m sure. Tony Stark? I’ll set something up for later this week. I think between the two of you you’ll be able to pull your average up enough to make it through to playoffs,” Coulson said, with that ever-hopeful lilt in his voice.

Or, Steve needs a calculus tutor, Tony is available, but how is Steve ever supposed to focus when he's been in love with Tony for ... his entire school life?

you take me higher than the rest (everybody else is second best): @firebrands

tumblr fill for adi & anthonydarling, who asked for "'Prank' war, but the kind to see who can make the other blush the most in public" from this prompt list

amore mio:  @brucewaynery

Tony has had it with Steve being dumb and reckless out in the field, he has a family to think about now, Steve promises him that he'll be with him, kingdom come.

(initially based on that one headcanon about Italian Tony yelling and gesticulating at Steve but Peter thinks he's doing some weird dance and tries to copy him, but it got very fluffy very quickly)

Lost My Mind in a Coffee Shop: @betheflame

“Boyo,” Bucky muttered to his best friend. “I swear to God that if you don’t ask that man for his number soon, I will create a Grindr profile for you and you will not like it.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “I am here to finish grading, not hit on men.”

“Can you not do both?” Natasha smirked. “Nearly tenured, historical genius, feels like something you should be able to multitask.”

&&&

In which Steve is a history professor and Tony's an engineering one and Bucky owns the joint where they have their meet cute.

AU-gust Chapter 7: @iam93percentstardust 

stevetony, childhood friends AU

Right Up The Road: @gottalovev

The day at the senate committee in Washington DC wasn't supposed to end with Tony and Steve transformed into animals by a baby witch. That said, the 350 miles trek back to the compound to get help promises to be quite an adventure too!

(or the adventures of Cat!Tony and Wolf!Steve - and how to readjust when you're back to human!)

i’ll take care of you: @elcorhamletlive

“Hi.”

Steve blinks. The sound of loud thunder roars outside, but he doesn’t jolt, too focused on the image in front of him to be startled by the noise.

He has no idea what to say, and he isn’t sure if the shock is because of Tony’s absolutely sodden state – his hair glued to his forehead, his clothes dripping with water, forming a small puddle in front of Steve’s door – or because he wasn’t expecting to see Tony for at least three more days.

“Hi?” he says, a little tentative, before his brain catches up to reality. In his defense, he was getting ready to sleep when Tony knocked. He looks at what Tony is holding – a wet mess that seems to have been a flower bouquet at some point. “What are you doing here?”

The Tally System:  @betheflame

Everyone on the team knew about the tally system.

Whenever Steve would save Tony - whether from a monster or from his own stupidity - he’d say, “tag”. Whenever Tony do the same, he’d say, “your turn”. Thor thought it was adorable, Clint thought it was ridiculous, Bruce refused to register an opinion.

Natasha thought it was something she could work with.

what’s mine is yours: @robertdowneyjjr

5 times Tony stole Steve’s clothes, and 1 time Steve returned the favor.

or

For a billionaire, Tony Stark really doesn't pay for a lot of what he wears.

I like Shiny Things But I’d Marry You With Paper Rings: @betheflame

Rhodey: I just confirmed with Sam that he’s going to make sure he cooks tonight and that his entire team is briefed. I’m heading over now to strategically arrange a fuck ton of ficus trees to block them from gen pop.

Pepper: They’re not getting engaged in a prison, Jimmy.

Rhodey: Tony Stark and Steve Rogers show up to Circe on a Saturday night in May and you watch every person in that restaurant turn into someone I’d rather arrest than eat with.

****

In which Tony and Steve get engaged, but they're kind of extra about it, because they are always themselves

the road to the stars: @shell-heads

Tony is seven years old when he sees the ballet for the first time and meets his future pas de deux partner.

His father is invited to sweet-talk politicians into a new weapons deal and explain his latest idea for their program, and his mom goes to catch up with old friends she hasn't seen in years, but Tony goes because his mom had smiled down at him and told him he would love it.

His mom's never wrong.

-

In which boy genius Tony Stark meets girl wonder Natasha Romanoff at the ballet, and they fit their broken little pieces together to make something beautiful on the dance floor.

Steve? He's just a dumb, awful, chaotic, extremely supportive older brother that really should just shut up and admit he likes Tony a lot more than he pretends, because Natasha only has five people in the world she likes; it only makes sense her two favorites would fall in love with one another.

They always were a little slow, though.

A Second Chance To Take it Slow: @omg-just-peachy

Tony loves his adopted son, Peter, but that doesn't stop him from wishing he had someone to do this whole parenting thing with. After a failed one night stand, Tony's parent-teacher conference with Mr. Rogers comes with quite the surprise.

Wake Up!: @randomstufffromotherblogs

Tony came home from a business trip and is woken up by his husband and their three-year old.

pull me closer to love:  @captainstakreportingforduty (part of a series)

“A Mother’s Day card? For... Tony?” Steve clarifies, and can’t help the smile on his face as six familiar little heads nod in response.

“But... guys, Tony’s not—“ he pauses and takes a breath, any explanation dying in his throat against the excited gleam in everyone’s eyes. “Why do you guys want to do that, hmm?"

compromises:  @robertpattisons (when i looked up OP on tumblr, this is the blog i was directed to - but i sincerely apologise if ive gotten it wrong)

Steve should have expected it, he really should have.

There were regulations that came with dating Tony Stark. Things that were clear and things that they needed to work through.

Things like how Steve always got strawberry ice cream, while Tony got rocky road. Or when Steve needed to get his homework done before he was down to make out - even though Tony always got his way.

Things like that were clear

all that you are is all that i’ll ever need: @natasharxmanov

Tony Stark and Steve Rogers announced their engagement on Good Morning America through Tony Stark’s previous secretary now CEO, Pepper Potts. And over this past weekend, I got the chance to sit down with them both, to visit their home and attend their gala, all to write this article about the most powerful couple in the world.

(Or, the fic in which Tony and Steve get married.)

(i won’t ever) trade my mistakes: @brucewaynery

Toddler Peter, painting a masterpiece with his dad.

aka: a dumb amount of family fluff to help you power through the week

[rhinklibrary]

College Rhink Top Fics

Hi Readers! We’re so excited for our first official list! This week is one of the most popular genres in our fandom - College Rhink. 

Please note these are all based on the dates of completion and/or the last update. While most are completed or are WIPs, you might come across an uncompleted fic. This list also does not include writings exclusively on Tumblr, or other sites, so please send us those recs!

Below the cut, you will find the top five kudos’d fics from the years 2015-2020. At the end you will also find our librarians’ recommendations. 

Happy reading! 

2015

#1 I’m Not Scared, Man, You’re Scared - thenthekneehits - [Teen and Up] - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3122

College, Cohabitation, Fluff without Plot, Fluff, Cuddling & Snuggling, Awkward Boners, Sharing a Bed

In which two stupid boys turn weak, there is a spider, and no cuddling.

#2 Pierced - Isra/ @mythical-rhink -Rhink - [Explicit] - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5301

College, First time, Piercing, play piercing, Blood, D/s, Kink, BSM, Alcohol, Profanity

Rhett’s in college and wants to try something new, and of course he’s going to bring Link along for the ride.

#3 Rewritten - Chellan_Nicollares - [Explicit] - Chapters: 8 - Words: 16,040

Alternate Universe - College/University, Pining, Angst, Jealousy, Metafiction

If you have the power to rewrite reality, how far would you go for love? Rhett has already answered the question, but his actions might lead to his undoing within the very same day. 

#4 Encounter - Chellan_Nicollares - [Teen and Up] - Chapters: 10 - Words: 9280

Alternate Universe - Past lives, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Strangers, Transmigration, Supernatural Elements

This is a prologue to their life-long love and companionship. A mysterious encounter on a hiking trip gave Rhett some new perspectives. What's meant to be is meant to be.

#5 Grown Up Giggles - thenthekneehits - [General Audiences] - Chapters: 1 - Words: 269

College, Slice of Life, Growing Up, Self Confidence Issues, Cohabitation

Prompt: “I like your laugh.”

2016

#1 Whale, whale, whale - rhincoln/ @bloodbros (orphaned) - [Explicit] - Chapters: 4 - Words: 25,602 

Friends With Benefits, Epic Friendship, Hand Jobs, Alternate Universe - College/University, Mutual Pining, Masturbation, Blow Jobs, First Time, Semi-Public Sex

During the day, it’s all sunny beaches and warm touches and the ocean. At night, strange noises can be heard from Rhett’s bunk. And why did Rhett bring a stuffed Shamu to the beach resort anyway?

#2 What Do You Want Me To Say? - @remembertherandler - [Mature] - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1311

First Kiss, Kissing, I’m dead move, rhink, young rhink, college!rhink, Light Angst, Cute, Touching

So you’re horsing around with your roommate in your dorm room...big deal? Someone saw you? Oh…

#3 Slight Altercations - notasponsor - [Teen and Up] - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4790

College AU, Sorta Enemies to Lovers, Look they just bicker a lot, and they don’t know each other rly before the fic, Studying then cuddling, Fluff

Link glares, “You’re insufferable.” “No, I’m Rhett.” “Asshole.”

#4 Enough - chaoticliv - [Teen and Up] - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2296

Angst, Teenagers, Pining, Pining Rhett, College, Childhood, First Kiss, Kissing, Rhett POV

They were best friends. That was always enough for Rhett.

#5 The Laws of Thermodynamics - MythicallySnappy/ @RatchetRhink - [Mature] - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2819

Recreational Drug Use, Alcohol, Fluff, First Kiss, College, Artistic interpretation of math and what an industrial engineering degree actually entails

Link finally lets loose in the midst of exam season, and Rhett’s smiling and no matter how hard Link tries, he can’t calculate the meaning behind it.

2017

#1 A Perfect Arrangement - rhincoln/ @bloodbros (orphaned) - [Explicit] - Chapters: 15 - Words: 93,859

Fake/Pretend Relationship, Sharing a Bed, Best Friends, Alternate Universe - College/University, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Public Display of Affection, Pining, rhink, Masturbation, Jealousy, Drunken Shenanigans, Angst, Mutual Pining, Mutual Masturbation, Porn, Idiots in Love, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Sickfic, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Grinding, Sex Tapes

In order to win the body and soul of Miss Perfect, a girl they think they’re obsessed with, Rhett and Link figure they first have to win the keys to the coolest place on campus - something that is offered to them out of the blue, with only a single catch: only couples could get to move into the lush apartment. Rhett and Link would do anything for the space, for the girls - even pretend that they’re romantically involved. As true best friends, together they start off on the ambitious quest for love. What happens is its own story.

#2 No Touching! - rhincoln/ @bloodbros (orphaned) - [Explicit] - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5701

Friends to Lovers, Alcohol, Jealousy, No Homo, College, Semi-Public Sex, Rhink

Gregg decides to to take the duo out to a gay clup for a lark. It’s all fun and games, until Rhett thinks it isn’t. (In other words, until Link gets hit on.)

#3 Writing Love On Your Skin - @magicbubblepipe - [Teen and Up] - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3723

Pining Rhett McLaughlin, Injured Link, College, Rhink, Fluff, caretaker Rhett

When Rhett and Link share a bed, there’s a certain game they play.

#4 Lincoln In Distress - meirenyu/ @mei-ren-yu - [Explicit] - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3577

College!rhink, Butt Plugs, Rimming, Anal Fingering, Internalized Homophobia, Fluff, First Time

Rhett’s awoken from a great dream to find Link in dire straits in the top bunk of their dorm.

#5 Over the Phone - tvmoviemaniac/. @galacticnocturne - [Teen and Up] - Chapters: 14 - Words: 28,044

Rhink, Alternate Universe - College/University, College AU, Alternate Universe, Teen Romance, Depression, Awkwardness, Loneliness, Anxiety, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexuality, Mention of abuse, Homophobia, First Time, Sexual Encounter

Link Neal, a sophomore in college, finds a remedy to his existential problems and depression in an unlikely relationship he forms over the phone with a stranger - Rhett McLaughlin

2018

#1 Lovers in the Backseat - Matrimus - [Explicit] - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4883

Alternate Universe - College/University, Public Hand Jobs, Link is a little shit, Exhibitionism

Rhett offering his lap as a seat had sounded like a good idea at the time. It doesn’t take long for Link to exploit it.

#2 Forget Me Not - Matrimus - [Teen and Up] - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3404

First Kiss, Temporary Amnesia, Internalized Homophobia, College

After breaking his pelvis in a snowboarding accident, Link suffers from temporary amnesia. He knows he’s in hospital, knows he’s hurt his hip - and knows Rhett is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. 

#3 The Naked Truth - @missingparentheses - [Explicit] - Chapters: 8 - Words: 22,786

College, Fraternities & Sororities, Light Angst, Dorm Room Sexytimes

After a night of drinking at a frat party, Rhett and Link wake up naked in bed together with no memory of what happened the night before. They set out to piece together the details of the night and see if they can find out what happened, how they feel about it, and if they want it to happen again.

#4 Hungry Ghosts - MythicallySnappy/RatchetRhink - [Explicit] - Chapters: 7 (Incomplete) - Words: 20,241

College, Underage Drinking, Alcohol, Boys Being Idiots, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Angst, Smut, the holy trinity of fanfic

It’s the summer after freshman year and Rhett and Link are back at home in Buies Creek. An uncomfortable experience at a party flips Rhett’s world upside down and Link is there to help him build a new one

#5 Sofa Symphony - @santamonicayachtclub - [Explicit] - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2321

College, Couch Sex

“C’mon, bo,” Link urges, husky-voiced. “Do me like you’re paying for it.”

2019

#1 Live Connection - @linkslipssinkships - [Explicit] - Chapters: 115 (Incomplete) - Words: 87,022

Porn Watching, Camboy!Link, Risky Behavior, Alternate Universe - College/University, Modern AU, Short Chapters, Stream of Consciousness, First Person, Loss of Virginity, Mutual Pining, Angst, Long Distance Relationship, Sex Work, Consenusl sex work, Sex work related slurs, Anal Sex, handjobs, Jealousy, Mentions of Infidelity, First Relationship

Rhett’s just a college kid looking for some good porn. Link is a camboy looking for loyal fans and good money. When Link goes live, the pair feels an interesting connection.

#2 Untethered - Its_mike_kapufty/ @its-mike-kapufty - [Explicit] - Chapters: 32 - Words: 109,097

Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, College, Slow Burn, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Alternate Universe - Demons, demon!Rhett and human!Link, Vomiting, Psychologists & Psychiatrists, Master/Servant, Praise, Biting, Oh No He’s Hot, Marijuana, Drinking, Mutual Masturbation, Supernatural Illnesses, Churches & Cathedral, Abuse of Authority, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Vigilantism, Blow Jobs, Police, Guns, Anal Sex, Hearteyes Rhett, Obsessive Behavior, Matter of Life and Death, Blood and Gore, Near Death, Happy Ending

Link would’ve never guessed that the price of fucking up his entire life is approximately 5¢.

#3 Lucidity - Its_mike_kapufty/ @its-mike-kapufty - [Explicit] - Chapters: 31 - Words: 103, 027

Porn With Plot, College, Sensory Deprivation, Ice Play, Frottage, Mutual Masturbation, Stuffed Toys, Scent Kink, Phone Sex, Blow Jobs, Reading Aloud, Intercrural Sex, Sex Toys, Double Penetration, Glory Hole, Protectiveness, Clothed Sex, Anal Sex, Babbling, Feeding Kink, Sex Toys Under Clothing, Under-Table Blow Jobs, Fight Sex, Orgams Delay/Denial, Lingerie, Multiple Orgasms, Humiliation, Free Use, Rimming, Animal Traits, Marijuana, Public Sex, Pool Sex, Bladder Control, Milking Machine, Smoking, Angst, Exhibitionism, Clone Sex, Love Confessions 

Rhett doesn’t know why this is happening. Thank Goodness Link doesn’t know it’s happening at all.

#4  Everyone but Me - Its_mike_kapufty/ @its-mike-kapufty - [Explicit] - Chapters: 11 - Words: 46,790

Alternate Universe - College/Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Jock!Rhett, Internalized Homophobia, House Party, Drinking, Cigarettes, Sthenolagnia, Kissing, Blow Jobs, Bars and Pubs, Social Media, Pining, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Denial of Feelings, Piercings, Bets & Wagers, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Heart-to-Heart, Nude Photos, Masturbation, Basketball, Post-Game(s), Marijuana, Vomiting, Concerts, Slow Dancing, Slurs, Protectiveness, First Time, Anal Sex, Self-Doubt, Pride Celebration

Rhett can fit in anywhere, make small talk with anyone. He’s one of NC State's best players, after all. If he can’t dazzle strangers with his records and status--if he’s not the perfect example of the masculine standard--then who is he?

#5 The Elephant in the Dorm - @goodmythicalghoulboy - [Explicit] - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4940

College, Masturbation, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Mutual Masturbation, Porn Watching, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Barebacking, Comeplay, Dirty Talk, Spanking, (just the teeniest bit of it though), Boundaries? What are boundaries?, Daddy Kink

Rhett thinks he’s finally got an hour to himself to really take his time and indulge in a little self love. He’s sorely mistaken, but it all works out for the best.

2020 so far

#1 Big Man on Campus - @fanbabble & @mythicaliz - [Explicit] - Chapters: 16 - Words: 41, 973

1990s, Dorms, Roommates, Alternate Universe - College/University, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Sharing a Bed, Strangers, Basketball, Arguing, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Angst but it’s gonna get better, Alcohol, Underage Drinking, Body Shots, Masturbation, Frottage, bed sharing, Cuddling & Snuggling, Forbidden Love, I’m dead move, Mutual Masturbation, Oral Sex, Anal Fingering, Voyeurism, Public Blow Jobs, Gay Bar, Jealousy, Coming Out, Anal Sex, First Time, Shower Sex, Semi-Public Sex

1996. NC State University. Syme Dorm, Room 24. Two roommates with very different dreams. One wants to play basketball and make his family proud. The other wants to make movies and explore his new found freedom. But there’s a problem… there is only one bed!

#2 The Roles We Play - sassandpanache/ @sass-and-panache - [Mature] - Chapters: 16 - Words: 31,238

Alternate Universe - College/Universe, Theatre, Basketball!Rhett, TheaterKid!Link, Enemies to Friends, to Lovers

Rhett’s failing his theater class so in order to save his grade, he joins the crew of NC State’s fall production of ‘Cat on a Hot Tin Roof’. What he doesn’t realize is that the next month will change his life.

#3 Tell Me About It - Its_mike_kapufty/ @its-mike-kapufty - [Explicit] - Chapters: 1, Words: 7261

Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Sex Toys, Masturbation, Phone Sex, mentions of internalized shame

One of the biggest drawbacks of being incomplete without your best friend is the (very intense) fear of missing out.

#4 Taking Turns - @apparentlynotreallyfinnish - [Explicit] - Chapters: 1, Words, 2465

Alternate Universe - College/University, Friends With Benefits, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Pining

It didn’t take them long after starting college to get to this. One night of too many drinks and too few enthusiastic sexual partners available had lead to an awkward, fumbling experimentation in Rhett’s bunk. Rhett’s not sure anymore which one of them brought it up first, but somehow, in their inebriated and horny state, they’d realized that they could easily help each other out.

#5 Learning to Crawl - DarlingLo/ @darling-lo [Explicit] - Chapters: 5/6 (WIP) - Words: 33,081

College, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Friends to Lovers, Alternate Universe - College/University, First Time, First Meetings, Angst, Enemies to Friends, Sexual Tension, Internalized Homophobia

It took Link four hours to learn his roommate’s name. And those four hours are all that was needed for him to absolutely hate him. 

[littlebigafterdark]

patton's asthma attack and finally agreeing to try therapy

content warnings: hurt/comfort, detailed description of asthma attack, very brief mention of past eating disorder, crying (i always hav that tho)

i copy pasted this from mine and livs discord convo so thats why it might be formatted weird and i swear a lot also if you see "hhh yeah" then thats liv commenting hshshsh

patton has had a cough the past few days because BASICALY since priscilla (remys cat) visited hes been more breathless with his asthma but he didnt tell anyone bc he doesnt want to worry them or make it so vee never get to see priscilla again if she cant visit anymore

so his asthma is acting up but he ignores it - and hes had asthma cough for a couple days (which is a sign of an incoming asthma attack) but again hes ignoring it, hes so used to brushing off symptoms he doesnt click what it means and he diesn ttake his inhaler when he needs it

WAAAHH oh fuck oh my god oh god wait fuck i just realised

the moment patton gets his asthma attack its saturday afternoon, roman is little and playing with logan and vee isnt quite little yet but fae's on faer way there, fae is very giggly and playful and patton says "okay babygirl, lets go get you changed!"

and when he gets up from the couch he takes a moment to cough and just stand still a sec bc he got suddenly dizzy but he pushed through it to not worry vee, and he actually usually lifts her onto his hip straight away, but this time he very subtly is like "okay hold daddys hand while we walk to the stairs"

so they get to the stairs and patton of course lifts vee up, and theyre only a few steps up when pattons breathing gets really heavy. it makes vee frown and look at him and say "daddy am i heavy?"

and patton smiles and shakes his head, because hes too breathless to speak. but he pushes through and hurries up as fast as possible

once theyre at the top of the stairs, patton is wheezing. his chest is rattling and whistling and he suddenly loses his smile and quickly hurries away from the stairs to place vee gently on the hallway floor, and as soon as vee is safe patton wobbily sinks to his knees and leans his head against the wall. his eyes shut tight trying so so hard to breath but its realy whistly now

and vee of course panics. "dady? papa are you okay??" and whimpers when patton doesnt react and clutches at his chest

and it throws her out of her semi regression. she jumps up and hurries downstairs, a little wobbily but ultimately fine. and she speints to where logan and riman are and yells "daddys h havin a panic attack!" and instantly starts crying

logan and roman were in the middle of a game and smiling and laughing but as SOON as they hear that they jump into action. logan runs out of the room to go to patton and roman grows up and runs to vee and lifts her up to shush her cries and calm her down - they dont even share a single look before they do this, they both just instinctively know what to do

and logan of course finds patton and realises its an asthma attack not a panic attack - he goes into his emergency like emotionless mode where he just gets the job done. he asks clearly where patton keeps his inhaler and patton just shakes his head. so logan alarmed asks "you dont have a reliever inhaler??" and patton winces and shakes his head again.

logan sprints to his room into his bedside drawer to find tthe inhaler he keeps for emergencies double checking it hasnt expired

he sits with his legs around patton, patton leaned back agains his torso, and puffs pattons inhaler for him and times the attack and the puffs (knowing that if it isnt better after ten puffs and fifteen minutes they have to call an ambulance) and using his own deep breaths against pats back to help him recalibrate his breathing

luckily it only lasts 8 and a half minutes and 8 puffs - but logan is so so shaken about the fact that that was very close to requiring medical assistance, he had his ohone out ready to dial 911

once pattons attack is over he's finally breathing, short and deep at first gasping in the oxygen, but within a few more minutes of sitting against logan it slows down and is much calmer. hes very shaky because the reliever inhaler does that to you, and weak from the tax on his body, so logan helps him up into their nearest bedroom (pattons)

at first he calls roman to swap places with him and watch over patton hust so logan can change vee into a diaper since she regressed from fear as soon as roman picked her up and obv he cant change her diaper

so roman sits with patton while logan does that and roman is actually really quiet and awkward and nervous, just looking wide eyed at patton and hugging himself.

and patton feels bad abt that and whispers "its okay little prince, daddys not hurt. im sorry for scaring you, honey" and roman just chews his lip and nods and looks down and they dont talk again until logan is back and roman goes out to take care of vee and logan comes in to lie with patton and rub his chest soothingly

logan is distressed and frustrated and shaken at that point but he knows not to have their conversation until the next day bc patton will be emotionally and physically exhausted

but the next day they have a serious talk - logans pretty ANGRY that patton was so ignorant of his wellbeing that he didnt refill his inhaler, patton brushes it off but logan says its a good thing he secretly kept one for patton (bc he almost suspected this might happen)

it rly hits patton when logan tells him if he had needed anymore puffs than he took they wouldve had to phone an ambulance - like patton not wanting to worry his family by admitting his asthma was acting up backfired way more and has made them worry even more because he had a full attack that could have gone so much worse

the whole conversation is VERY stern and serious even at the start when patton smiles and chuckles and jokes and brushes it off logan just gets frustrated and upset. logan is SO angry literally he is glaring at patton when patton brushes it off and makes jokes abt it and he snaps.

logan actually very seriously tells patton this is self harm and patton goes WHAT nonono no its not i dont know why youre getting so worked up

and logan fucking SNAPS like "Youre not giving your body what it needs to survive because you dont think your worth that!! you're neglecting your basic needs to the point of needing urgent medical care, doesnt that sound familiar??? doesnt that sound like something we've both been through before???" clearly referencing his eating disorder

and pattons eyes go wide and he profusely apologises hes like im so sorry oh my gosh logan honey im sorry did i trigger you im sorry and logans just like STOP APOLOGISING this isnt about me its about you!

and he sso angry bc he thought they trusted each other but the fact that patton didnt tell him when he literally couldnt breathe is so scary to logan

but that is basically an argument bc logan was so fucking worried and devastated that patton has ignored his health to such an extent and vee gets nervous bc both her and roman can hear them yelling and she thinks the cgs will breakup bc they "had a fight"

but once theyre finished talking and vee shakily asks if theyre not gonna be a family anymore they'll of course comfort faer and talk abt it, its not a fight its a disagreement and mummys and daddys have those sometimes. theyre still a family and they still love each other very very much. they all soend their family day together as usual, though patton isnt as able to get up and play with roman understandably

also the fact this all comes around the same week patton and logan tell vee that janus wants to babysit, thats why patton has been absent from the blog recently i guess bc hes been keeping busy trying to work through his feelings of janus wanting to come in

hhh yeah... the way it lines up to patton's other insecurities abt janus coming into the family and it all just piles on too much all at once

so on monday morning logan goes with patton to get more inhalers and they actually stay out for while like they go to a forest or smth just to be alone and help patton recenter a little - he's always loved being in nature, it really brings him a lot of peace, being in nature is really the best way to keep patton grounded from his dissociation, thats why hes always gardening

and logan doesnt want to be angry at him and he knows patton needs support and comfort atm even is patton doesnt think he does so they have a calm day just being together and logan trying to remind patton that hes there for him

HHH stop bc they YEAH bc they kinda had a fight even though it did get 'resolved' but they needed to take time to reconnect their energies and like show each other (and specifically logan show patton) that their love is still secure and their friendship is still strong - just the quiet care of logan taking patton somewhere they can just be alone without responsibilities

secretly patton was rlly upset that logan got angry with him but he didnt show it but logan KNOWS him and he knows he needs to fix it with queality time (pats love lang) because pattons been alone a lot recently, its just been that he keeps busy and accidentaly distanced himself bc the others would all be busy and hanging out in some way and he fet a bit abandoned but yeah logan is dedicating the whole day to him

and patton does end up talking abt his inner turmoil a little but not until theyre like in the middle of the forest and hes a lot calmer and theres no one around, he just feels so much calmer and safer in nature to open up like that.

and this is when patton tells logan about his worries about janus becoming closer to vee, and how its lovely for them but what if it hurts vee, what if they dont get along, what if they DO get along and vee wants to move back with janus. Logan doesnt say anything to the worries, he knows patton just needs to blurt them out while he can, while it mixes with the sounds of nature.

then patton mentions quietly that dr picani phoned him a couple weeks ago and told him that he would like to offer patton a trial session of therapy - not with vee, just patton. logan very calmly asks if that sounds like sometnging that might be helpful for patton and patton just giggles nervously "um i dont know. Vee has therapy"

logan frowns. "yes she does. but that doesnt mean you cant have it too, if you would like it"

patton goes quiet and looks anxious, scratching at the moss on the log theyve sat down on. so logan takes his hand and looks very earnestly at him and says gently "i would like you to at least accept the trial session. It is your decision but... i think it might be worth a try"

patton nods a little, just looking at their intertwined fingers. and after a long silence where they can just hear the birds tweeting and the wind rustling the leaves and small animals scurrying along the grass, patton finally looks up at logan and breathes "i'll go to therapy"

and when patton says that out loud suddenly his eyes well up and he sees logan smile at him - a little sad and a lot proud - and feels his hand squeeze and the tears just dont stop coming and he hides his eyes but laughs nervously like haha dont know why im crying this is so silly! but logan doesnt say anything to it, he just pulls patton into his side and rests his head on pattons head...

and patton keeps trying to laugh and joke but its so choked and sad and nervous and wet and logan wraps his other arm around patton too and just grntly whispers "pumpkin, its okay if youre not happy right now."

and patton just starts sobbing into logans shoulder and logan holds him so tight as they sit on the log

patton cant cope with silence when its about him yknow, he couldnt handle logan not laughing or tutting at his jokes so he just kept joking until logan insisted its ok to be sad

so once they get home logan sits with pstton while he phones dr picani and books his first solo therapy session for friday morning

[izukult]

This is such a cute idea! I’m addicted to making weirdly specific Spotify playlists so this is perfect. I have an ✨eclectic✨ music taste but my favorites are usually bedroom pop (mxmtoon, chloe moriondo, khai dreams, etc), romantic classical (think Debussy and Revel), and indie (although I like some Megan Thee Stallion, AC/DC, Nirvana, etc when I’m hyping myself up). As far as my personality goes, I’m pretty insightful and like to support people whenever I can, even if I don’t know them well. I can be a little chaotic sometimes, but I like to think it’s a chaotic good. I love tea, blankets, philosophy, deep conversations, the outdoors, and writing. I’m also an INFP and a Taurus :)

Sorry if that was too much, thank you so much! Take care of yourself and stay well

- Elle ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

( @snoozless ) you don’t understand how bad i want to be your friend. 😐😐 ok so you kind of get bonus 😀 but it rly might not be bonus because akfjakdkw. so, i gave you matsukawa!! but he’s not always like revered about so if u want a character lmk!! i am. in love w him tho. you’re so sweet you would balance him out and yall would be equally chaotic together.

he would have philosophical questions w u!! he might just be a little blunt & might accidentally cut the convo short, but he would listen to everything you said.

he’s used to a wide variety of music bc i’m convinced the seijoh playlists are absolutely fucking cracked like so loud. so he really could sit there and listen to anything. and i mean ANYTHING. like if you wanted to put on christian rock he’d awkwardly try to tap his foot on beat for you.

but, that doesn’t mean he’s gonna geek over you i feel like he’d be pretty private about the relationship. he’s not like secretive but he’s not gonna post you every two seconds yknow? he wouldnt put prom photos, but if yall went to look at the stars or go on a little hike he’d take a pic and youre wearing baggy sweats and one of his shirts and your hair isnt brushed for shit and it’s way too dark to properly make your face out and he’d put that shit on his main absolutely 😒

this man would be the kind of mf to look up his “crush’s” zodiac just for shits & giggles, so if he randomly knows a taurus fact, don’t question it<3 (he looked up your compatibility and he will take that to the grave)

issei is an infp idc. so yall got that in common.

he’s genuinely so pretty.

bc i took so long, i’m going to put descriptions for all the songs i love you thanks for requesting sorry for taking forever i’ll link the playlist and list the songs<3

1. silly girl- chloe moriondo

okay while this song is actually kinda sad, i think tHIS is pretty cute. issei comes off as this intimidating guy, and the more you get to know him the more you forget ab this idea of him you had or whatever? like the lyrics “i made him perfect, cause i wanted him to be” are really prominent in the point i’m tryna make because like even tho the lyric is obviously sad bitch shit, music is up for interpretation and this is like “hello ok he actually a real mf and shiiit maybe he cool😁✊”

2. nice boys- TEMPOREX

kinda sad. i don’t care how unemotional he might act, everyone has shit that brings them down. PLUS HES A PISCES THERES NO WAY HES NOT SAD SOMETIMES. this song just really taps into insecurities for him, and the song just gets under his skin in like a very therapeutic way. also “because he’s a pisces” some of his emotions are super intense so the “because he cares too much” line hits him fuckin hard

3. IV. sweatpants- childish gambino

this is some shit he listens to more with his team, absolutely. no doubt they blare this shit during weekly practice. but, he really really likes the song. so, when you’re hanging out and he has the aux? it’s one of the first ones he puts on. you two jam to it together. he’ll come up w dumb little dances to fit with certain lyrics (stole some of them from oikawa and hanamaki, but he won’t tell you)

4. you get me so high- the neighbourhood

okay unfortunately i must say him and hanamaki get fuckin faded in empty fields at two am all trashy like. but they make it look good idc. and if you smoke, cool, if you don’t he does not care. he always associated getting high with,,, getting high and everytime he listened to this song it just was one of his getting blazed jams, but now he’s got like a different kinda “euphoric” feel with loving you? like i said this bitch is a pisces even if he doesn’t overwhelm you with affection, he thinks ab you 24/7

5. 80’s makeout session- dacelynn

thIS SONG IS SO CUTE. but it’s p self explanatory. in love and also spare a kiss pls

6. can i call you tonight- dayglow

i feel like actually coming to terms with genuine feelings for someone would be kind of weird for issei. like no offense, but he sees it as kind of a pain in the ass. i genuinely think he would be someone to put his all into work or a task in front of him. he’s super intuitive, and constantly uses it to be better. whether it’s in volleyball or like cremating ppl i guess (HE WORKS INA FUNERAL HOME POST TIME SKIP IF U DIDNT KNOW). and it’s the same in relationships, but it’s also harder because he can’t have this complete clear head because you make his brain go kinda fuzzy. so, this song is like his little way of expressing that even tho he was like ‘internally conflicted’ this mf chose to go for it and that’s how much u mean to him

7. clair de lune, L. 32- claude debussy

i’m gonna be fucking honest with you. even though he’ll listen to anything, i really don’t think this man is looking up ‘classical romance study tunes’ playlists in his free time. he definitely enjoys the music, but that’s only if someone points it out to him. and he’s listened to you talk about it before, and watched you as you heard the piano and gauged your reactions and thought u were pretty cute he’s not gonna lie😼. so he definitely just looked up classical romance and picked the first recommended song and added it on there. he’ll dance w you a lil bit, but it wouldn’t be that quiet, intimate slow dancing in the dark you think would come w this song. itd just be a little sway as he hugs you from behind while you get water, or he twirls you once randomly with a laugh UGH I LOVE HIM

8. like real people do- hozier

ok. this one was fun for me. idc. double meaning lol. so this song is literally about two dead bodies in a bog and ,,, and he works in a funeral home PLS LMAOFJAJDJA I THINK THATS SO FUCKING FUNNY AND SO DOES HE. but also this song literally is my idea of love. this is my idea of love. and yall listen to it, with your stupid little death joke, but he looks at you and he’s just like ‘oh’. yknow? YKNOW?

9. BS- still woozy

like i said, i think he puts a lot into work. and he literally plays for a powerhouse school there’s no way he doesn’t practice a lot. so that means there’s a lot of time where he’s physically not there and definitely can’t text, because he’s trying to improve. and while he wouldn’t stop volleyball for someone else, he understands that you are like super amazing for being so Cool with him not being the most available. the song just reminds him of how compassionate you are and also he does miss u when he’s at practice YKNOW?

10. i <3 u- boy pablo

this one made me so fucking soft ew. ok. this song reminds him of you so so much. he’s totally okay being vulnerable with you? and even though he has pretty heightened emotions, he’s never felt like so strongly for smth other than like ??? volleyball and caring ab his siblings (BUT HE FEELS DIFFERENT FOR U THAN HE DOES FOR A VOLLEYBALL AND HIS SIBLINGS PLEASE😁). HE LUVVVVV YOU

11. heart-shaped box- nirvana

so many reasons. for one, simply fucking JAM. yall would scream this on a drive. if you ever got drunk together, this would be the first song you play. also, little lyrics remind you of each other. (the pisces lyric in the first and third verse, and even tho the flowers aren’t being used in a sweet sense in the song he does remember talking ab flowers w u, and now any flower is mentioned and he’s like “ah yes. my girlfriend.”)

12. pluto projector- rex orange county

FUCK. FUCK THIS SONG. GOD. NO. LIKE HE REALIZES HE’S IN LOVE WITH YOU WITH THIS SONG. HE T E L L S YOU HE’S IN LOVE WITH YOU WITH THIS SONG. the first time, he just sends you the name of it like ‘pluto projector <3’ and you listen and it’s so sweet and ur like ayo turn this shit up. and he adds it to your playlist, which definitely gets a smile from you. and then one night like two weeks later youre just laying together, and he’s running his fingers through his hair and he pulls away for a second to grab his phone and he turns the song on and you just listen to it in silence and it’s so fucking intimate. and he’s just like “i don’t think i’ve ever related to a song more” and you think he’s making a joke so you tell him to shut up (also jokingly) and he just laughs and it’s dark in his room and he’s playing with your hair again and he just goes “god, if you’re telling me to shut up over that i don’t even want to imagine how you’re gonna react when i tell you i love you” and it’s right around 3:10 in the song i’m literally so gone for him. bye you cry and try to hide it but he can tell HES PERCEPTIVE

13. i wanna be yours- arctic monkeys

okay for one, it’s a good song. it’s a song he absolutely let’s play in the background, just to cover the static lol. but also? ALSO? THE TITLE APPLIES TO YOU THE FUCK? it’s as if,,, he’s whipped,,

14. supermassive black hole- muse

hanamaki prolly showed him this song, and it’s one of his vibe songs. he will do falsetto while singing it if he’s in a really good mood and it just makes everyone laugh, including himself. it actually kind of grosses him out, because this song used to literally just be a song he would aimlessly go hard to but NOW his little bitch ass is like “you set my soul alight”? i guess i relate and “oh baby, i’m a fool for you” well, surely i’m not a fool but yea i get you muse sing it. it’s so gross. at this point he wants one thing that doesn’t make him think of you, just to prove that he’s not that gone, but he struggling

15. desperado- rhianna

i’m sorry to say it but this song makes him feel like a bad bitch LMAOOOOO. like if he’s ever getting pregame jitters or anything, he will just play this song. whether it’s on the speaker or in his headphones, he puts this shit on full volume and gets a lil too cocky LOL. this is also on the main seijoh playlist no doubt. he wants to share his bad bitch song w you, so you can aLSO feel like a bad bitch?? dUH

IM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT BABES! IF YOU WANT ANY OF THE SONGS CHANGED (or even the character) LMK!! UR AMAZING ur so sweet it makes me ill

[yvixtrae]

Can you do a cix jinyoung scenario where his usually hyper and loud s/o is being rly quiet one day for no reason (they arent sad but sometimes they prefer to be quiet too yk) ty!

AOIGHNKERLFULJDKER-- mUCH THANK FOR THE REQUEST, DEAREST ANON!! I’ve been struggling with a lot of writer’s block for a fair while now, so I’m not sure how well I did with this, but I still tried my absolute heccin bestest!! But also, wOWIE!! I’m still just vvv shook that you made a request!! When I first saw the notif, I really felt like my entire week had been made!! But anyways, enough of my chaotic ramblings--I’m sorry that I was a bit slow in writing this, but I hope you like it!!

--

7:38 PM

The same edm song had been playing over and over on loop through the past few hours at loud enough volume through your earbuds to block out pretty much everything else, and you continue to zone in and out as you let yourself drown in the melody, occasionally finding it in you to be present enough to have solid thoughts and hastily scribble down some more things onto the blank page you’d randomly opened your notebook to—though it was only a mere handful of moments of adding more lime green ink to the paper before you inevitably slipped back into a weirdly semi-zoned out state that leaned a bit more towards the complete state of it. You’re currently somehow a chaotic blend between the phrase of “no thoughts, head empty” and “many thoughts about many things”, but the many things that are crossing your mind are brief and in bits and pieces of actual coherency, your own inner voice seeming to be just a teeny tiny tad bit faded in comparison to how it usually is, thus your thoughts had somehow become more feeling and image based. But despite how the things on your mind seem to be much messier than usual, nothing particularly unpleasant had made itself known in your mind, and you feel a hollowed out version of delight swell in you at the realization that though your mind is messier than usual today, it had nonetheless given you a sort of peace that you were grateful for.

And thus, before you had given in to looping the song you’d been pretty hyper fixated on, you’d decided to try to make a bit of a to-do list for the next day, only to be overwhelmed by the desire to write down the colors of your favorite voices in kpop that you’d heard so far on a different page in the notebook. So far, through the few hours that had passed, though you only had a mere dozen idols and their voice colors listed, you find yourself feeling that you didn’t really mind at how small the list was, seeing as you’d put a lot of time and faded hazy thought into each one you had scribbled down.

But then you got to jotting down Jinyoung’s name on the paper, and you pause as you try to better collect yourself to try and compose any thoughts that are more along the lines of your usual inner self speaking loud and clear. Knowing it would be easier to do so in silence, you grab your phone and turn the music off. A minute drags on afterwards, then two, three, even four. Slowly but surely, you find that any fogginess you had in your head has ebbed away enough for you to really focus on what colors to put down for his voice. Another minute passes before you write the first color down, and then the second, third, and fourth.

An all-too-familiar voice speaks softly, and you vaguely register the lovely sound as Jinyoung’s voice, but since you were heavily focused on what you had written and if you had put the truly correct hues next to his name, you hadn’t quite caught what he’d said and so you had to force yourself to tear your eyes away from the notebook and focus on him instead. A quiet but questioning hum from you as a way of asking him to repeat himself warrants a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“What’s got you so quiet today??” He questions, tone still soft and tinged with what you’ve come to recognize as a sort of grogginess that can only come from just waking up from a cat nap.

“Nothing much, “ You offer him a small smile of your own in return and pat the spot on the couch next to you, “Just didn’t quite have a lot of physical or mental energy today, but in a more okay and neutral way instead.”

A small and throaty sort of sound and a nod is his response as he makes his way over and decides to go over the couch instead of around to plop himself into the space next to you. His first glance at what you had written so far with colors next to idol names piqued his curiosity, and he leans forward to get a closer look, eyes eagerly taking in everything you’ve listed despite not really understanding what it all means. When he sees that his name is there as well with some colors, an almost grin crosses his face and he can’t help how he feels as if the fondness in his heart is nearly overwhelming.

“So what are the colors for??” He asks, looking back at you.

“Just what I think the colors of everyone’s voices are. And for your voice… I really think that like, it’s… A hazy sort of dark shade that’s not quite black yet, the finest of wine reds, a sort of deep and rich grey that’s kinda warm in tone, and a messy dark mixed berry hue.”

He nods in understanding, and the fondness in his heart really becomes too much then, as he moves to press his lips gingerly against the top of your head, “I’m flattered that you think my voice has such nice colors, but may I ask, what made you have the idea of voice colors??”

You take a moment to think, seeing as you’re also curious on why your brain decided to come up with such an idea.

“Honestly??” You take another moment to pause and see if you just really can’t figure out why before continuing, “I really dunno. It just kinda popped up in my head for like half a second and then I found myself having an uncontrollable impulse to write it down. I guess maybe… It’s because of how I’ve always been one to pay a lot of attention to colors and people’s voices?? But I dunno though.”

“Cute.” He murmurs, “Very cute.”

You feel your stomach suddenly give a bit of an achy rumble, and though it was quiet, it was still audible to Jinyoung.

“Snack time??” He chuckles, starting to get up, knowing how you had probably lost track of time and forgotten to eat anything since you both had eaten breakfast due to how you can get easily wrapped up in whatever you may find yourself working on throughout the day.

“Snack time.” You nod with as serious of an expression as you can muster before getting up with him to go to the kitchen, though it’s impossible to keep the expression for more than a second or two before giggling a bit.

He tousles your hair slightly and you eagerly get up to follow him to acquire snacks.