#words arent properly working right now

[terror-punk]

Something I think is required for all people to be able to embrace terrorpunk is white terrorpunks specifically being terrifyingly antiracist and protect BIPOC who are not safe to appear frightening in the world. Just a movement and consciousness expanding thought

This is ABSOLUTELY included. Forgive my ramble here, mental word-salad from psychosis is being a bit hard to formulate words with.

This is about protecting and uplifting each other. Society is not right about deeming a lot of us as scary, and we should be able to be ourselves even if people make assumptions based on what we look like, what we call ourselves, or what we're doing. Those who are particularly unsafe to be themselves or be seen due to societal pressure, especially BIPOC as they face a large amount of societal unjust fear, are to be protected by those of us able to. As a term, terrorpunk has no room for racism. None.

And this is not about harming people or putting them in dangerous situations for fun, this is about protecting those who are "scary", and protecting them fiercely. That means EVERYONE. This is about being you where you can, normalising things people would rather sweep under the rug. Even if you can't be open and you publicly, knowing within yourself that even if people see you as something to be feared, you are a being worthy of life and love and caring and rights, and extending that support to your community to the best of your ability.

It's about uplifting and caring for other "scary" individuals, and breaking down your own barriers of internalised fear or societal perceptions. Realising that being scared or unknowing is not a reason to hate, and instead embracing minorities with love and kindness, while defending them fiercely at the same time.

[bbykento]

AITA?

nonchalant bf! x gn! reader

themes: yandere, light angst, locking up, idk

nonchalant bf! who finds the reddit post you made about you losing feelings due to his nonchalance

“AITA for wanting to break up with my boyfriend? I 22GN, my boyfriend 25M. I always try to understand that its my fault and im too clingy that it bothers him. Every time I ask a conversation with him he just ignores me. It has happened so many times and I love him, I used to. Now everyday I lose the feelings in my stomach and heart when seeing him. And Im guilty. Because now I feel like I am developing feelings for someone else who is my coworker.I havent cheated on him but it feels wrong.”

nonchalant bf! who reads the post with that same blank expression he wears when youre crying in front of him. his lips tug downward in mild amusement—not at the content, but at the fact that you thought blocking him would be enough to keep him from stumbling onto it. he knows you too well, your style of writing, the way you punctuate your thoughts with hesitation totally not bc he observes ur every move… its all you.

nonchalant bf! who lets you think hes fine when you break up with him, lets you walk out the door with your things, all while carefully measuring his response. but as soon as the door closes, the mask begins to slip. his fingers twitch, and his gaze hardens. you mightve thought you were free, but he knows better. in his mind, youre his, and no one else has the right to you—not even your coworker.

nonchalant bf! who starts appearing where you least expect him: at the coffee shop you frequent, outside your workplace. always calm, always casual, as though ita just a coincidence. "Oh, hey," hes say, with that familiar, placid smile. "Funny running into you here."

nonchalant bf! who never raises his voice but makes his intentions clear in the quietest, most chilling ways. like the time you found your favorite photo with your coworker mysteriously missing from your desk, or the cryptic message left on your phone:

"Don’t forget who understands you best."

nonchalant bf! who still carries your belongings—an old scarf, a forgotten book—like talismans. theyre not yours anymore; they’re his. and so are you.

yan nonchalant bf! who finally corners you one day, his eyes devoid of the aloofness you once knew. theres an intensity now, a possessiveness that makes your breath hitch. "You can’t leave me," he murmurs, his voice calm, too calm. "Not when I’m the only one who knows how to love you properly."

full fic maybbb?

JJK: Gojo, Toji, Sukuna, Dark Nanami😈

AOT: Eren, Levi, Erwin(?)

HAIKYUU: Kenma, Kageyama, Ushijima

n whoever applies tbh

A/N: yall survery check, does it piss u off when words arent properly punctuated or capitalized?

©bbykento. please don’t copy, translate, repost my works.

[purplecelestial-buddy]

Allow me to go insane about perhaps the entirety of chapter 28

First and foremost, we are in it since page 1.

The fact that we are watching this interaction develop from the pov of the guys (since we are watching Hirano from above, like Kagi would and we are watching Kagi from below, like Hirano would) is totally insane.

This exchange is kind of so funny because Kagi says Hanzawa is gone and Hirano, who I would argue is still kind of processing the... straightforwardness and "strengh" (that's the only word I have rn) of the hug request is standing there like "and what does that even have to do with us?" and to some degree this is very important to me because this is Hirano we are talking about. Marriage = civial law Hirano. The 10 secs rule cannot exclude hair because it's made from protein just like skin, Hirano.

I need you to understand that this man has one hell of a convoluted thought process and in other situations he has taken mere seconds to come up with some weird analysis just so he can win whatever debate him and Kagi are having. AND REGARDLESS here we head a head empty no thought Hirano, he's thinking of one thing and one thing only, that being the hug and how it will fit in the puzzle that is his relationship with Kagi. And the hand clenching. Gosh the hand clenching. If only I had a nickel for everytime Kagi closes his fist or grabs at stuff to physically stop himself from crossing the line I would be a millionare. The hand clenching even makes me wonder if he actually belives no one will see them. In fact this is such a funny scene in the sense that Hirano is completely focused in their interactions and Kagi is the one coming up with unexpected loopholes to validate his actions.

I always think back on the "that passion... is focused squarely on me" scene whenever I see this expression on Kagi.

In fact it's interest to see how his expression has changed along with his feelings, desires and expectations about Hirano.

Let's do a timeline:

This was the first instance in which Kagi ever thought about kissing Hirano:

This is the passion scene I was referencing:

And then there's Kagi now who always looks five seconds away from devouring Hirano.

So it's no suprise that Hirano looks uncomfortable. This is the same passion and drive he has always admired from Kagi but now it isnt a driving force used to put effort in basketball or to study so that they can remain roomies, it's being used to expose Hirano to as many romantic situations as posible in hopes that he can reach a conclusion, hopefully a romantic one. And that a very complex expectation because romance and dating are uncharted terriotory for Hirano so ofc he's even more cautious than he tends to be and gosh I'm projecting but I dont think people get how GODDAMN frsutrating and tbh scary it is to know people are expecting something from you when 1. you arent sure what that would even entail and 2. you arent sure if you could perfom even if you knew it.

So anyway, what happens next is very important: (but there's also the whole translation deal so... let's take it with a grain of salt(? (I'll put in italics all the comments/analysis that was biased by the mangadex translation)

Kagi makes his request, Hirano is squeamish and he begrudgingly agrees because that's isnt he kind of thing he "cant's say no to"

As in, he isnt allowed to stop each and every of Kagi's advanced even if they arent directed towards something he's comfortable with simply because theirs is a delicate situation and first and foremost he wants to keep Kagi close. And keeping Kagi close and remaining as roomies is heavily dependant on him not breaking Kagi's hard so he can't refuse all advances right? Because he's pretty much uncomfotable with all things romantic but he can't properly deny Kagi a relationship unless he knows how a relationship would work, right? (I think that fron here onwards the things would remain the same regardless of translation)

And I love that here Kagi inmediately panics and backtracks. Because many things can be said about Kagi, he's passionate, he's intense, he can come on to strong but he would never want to hurt Hirano. He would rather lose sleep and study than stop having his presence close, he would rather clench his fist and stand at the line than ever cross it. Because ven if he would get what he desired he would lose the person he loves the most.

And this whole thing was a kinda tense so when Hirano finally exhales so can we as an audience. And we proceed to get back to typical hrkg antincs of "but are you 100% sure that I'm not presurring you into doing this because I wouldnt want to do this is you arent on board" x "stop whining and going in circles, let's do this and get over with it"

And once again we get Kagi's pov of Hirano. And I dont know if it would be crazy to say that it feel different than the first one but for starters now we see more of Hirano, other than his face and you can see the uncertainty in his hands.

Then comes the hug which is honestly the one and only reason I started this whole ramble.

First, let's look at past hrkg hugs: We have the famous infirmary one. And I want to draw your attention at a few points; first Kagi grabs Hirano sort of by the shoulders, in the 2nd page at the 3rd panel of the sequence Kagi pulls Hirano into the hug, a futile attempt to make it feel more reciprocal I would say and then he squeezes Hirano.

Now, this chapter's hug has much more movement.

In fact it's six pages long

Its starts fairly similar, with Kagi sorta holding Hirano by the shoulders

and it goes down from there

This... this panel haunts me. This is not the face of someone that's comfortable. We can guess that the culprit might be Kagi's hand on Hirano's waist since it's much more lower than where he usually puts his hands.

And no one is comfortable with this so, Kagi soon realizes and again, he backtracks

We finish with the usual hearty squeeze, this time there's no need to get pulled for it to be reciprocal since Hirano relies/lays on Kagi.

And then of course we have the guilt and crisis of feeling uncomfortable ("repulsed" is one of the word choices being questioned)

I don't have much to say about the rest, Hirano gets thinking thoughts, realizes that maybe it can work out if he's the one doing the hugging and we all celebrate.

(also, I find it so funny that all of their "realization" moments have literally the same page composition. I wonder if it's a Harusono quirk of if there's deeper meaning. In fact, the line gets straighther each time so maybe it's all about how they are reaching an understanding of each other )

Then he have a much more comfortable hug and perhaps some of the most kira kira sparkly pages we've ever had

In summary this chapter is very important cuz:

1. We (Hirano included) see Kagi backtracking. This is important because Hirano has gone from not realizing the dept of Kagi's desires to being aware that Kagi will never push him to do anything he's not comfortable with.

2. Kagi says that he knows how much care, which surely lifted a heavy weight from Hirano's shoulders and will helps us in the future

3. Hirano basically learned how to say no and that he has a right to work things in his own way (can be debated based on the translation but I feel the point would still be something to worry over in general(?)

[dobbysimp]

third year summer scenario i cant stop thinking about

sirius who spends his first summer properly at the potters for the first time gets exposed to James’ latino culture on full blast 24/7

sirius who starts to learn things, more so by proximity than actually trying to

learns what spices effie likes to add, what songs james plays around the house when he helps clean, that the pots and pans go in the oven(??? he wont question it) and that you save the plastic grocery bags under the sink

BUT sirius who after just one summer is very much a beginner in this new world of culture, and god james yk i cant understand spanish yet

sirius who feels guilty he isnt doing more to actively learn and connect with james’ culture but is so lost on where to start

sirius who heard effie call james mijo every day consistently until one day she calls him Jaime

not james, jaime

…

james what the fuck was that?

what?

your mom?? she called you- what did she call you?

my name? jaime?? yk, james in spanish?

…. so your name is jaime?

yeah? i mean it’s also jam-

AM I RACIST??

cue the panic of oh my god im just like my family omg am i colonizing you?? is it offensive james- fuck jaime im so fuckingsorryinevermeanttobe-

to which james would spend 30 minutes reassuring him its fine and he goes by both names and its absolutely no big deal and no padfoot you arent racist

and it is fine… until they go to sleep and sirius decides he needs to do better so he stays up all night determined he will learn spanish in one night

well, “learn” is a loose term, charm and spell his way to spanish

except, fucking wizards havent made a spell for this yet?? what??? fine I’ll make my own

sirius who, the morning after sits at breakfast tight lipped because oh he fucked up

and james asks whats wrong and sirius refuses to say a word for hours until eventually james gets sick of whatever is going on and tickles sirius to get him to talk

and sirius opens his mouth to tell james to stop, only for there to be absolute silence following, and then

laughter

james is on the floor crying. effie is bent over trying not to laugh too. through the door to the kitchen you can hear fleamont make no such attempt to hold his in

because sirius got the spell right, he can now speak spanish. the issue? he only charmed his voice to know grammar and vocabulary, he still has his accent

the OTHER issue? he can ONLY speak spanish

so sirius now sounds like a “no sabo, donde esta la biblioteca?” kid with his posh accent and shit pronunciation

james has a good 20 minutes of rolling around on the ground while sirius explains in aWfUl spanish what he did last night before james gets up to help undo the damage lest he bursts a lung from laughing

except, sirius MADE the spell, so undoing it is tricky. there’s no counter charm yet given sirius didnt come up with one and now he cant speak latin even to cast anything

after hours james has gotten nowhere, and effie refuses to help because its funny its not like its causing anyone harm so there’s no rush

so james thinks, what if instead of a counter curse he just makes another spell all together? one to fix sirius’ pronunciation. he’d be speaking spanish but at least they could take him siriusly seriously

long story short its been hours. he’s been switching back and forth between a counter curse and trying the new pronunciation spell and, well, his brain sorta starts mixing both

so at 4am one fine summer monday, james’ wand casts a light as it works its magic on a half asleep sirius, both of them freeze and stare at each other because oh merlin did they do it?

and sirius opens his mouth and- out comes english

FINALLY, ENGLISH

…

…in a tHick colombian accent

okay so maybe james forgot he didnt need to fix his spanish pronunciation if he was making him speak english again

so now sirius just sounds like he’s mocking james’ accent

all of this to respect james’ culture and now he sounded aCtUaLlY racist?? kill him

[peepreadscomics]

Young Justice: The Secret 1998 meta [Impulse interrogated]

Comic context: This is the first time Robin, Superboy, and Impulse all work together as a trio. Impulse sees an evacuation on the news and goes to help. There, he bumps into Robin and SB. They help the DEO (Department of Extra-normal Operations) to recapture an escaped creature. Turns out that the creature is actually a very sentient ghost girl. In order to protect her, they give back a decoy that is promptly destroyed by the DEO. They must lie to the DEO and their mentors to ensure the ghost girl’s freedom. This is Impulse focused. SB and Robin have their own posts.

Bart has been active in the hero business for not more than a year lets be so real. His solo missions are more like: things that he's gotten away with or stumbled into. Most of the time, he's working with Max.

This interrogation/interview is interesting to me because Bart appears so head empty during the interview. He gives most of the information to the JL and his interview talk bubbles are far more frequent than the other two.

Still, he so chill when he first shows up.

probably too casual at this point haha. I removed the speech bubble, but Bart basically complains about how long this is gonna take. Bart is relaxed in his seat.

It’s very often that Bart is very blasé about things he should be serious about. Though, I think this might be something Bart is intentionally doing with the goal of not revealing the ghost girl's existence--more on that later.

He's yelled at to sit up properly and Bart straightens up right away. He's got this vague look of judgement on his face though like he's thinking, "Okay, that was a bit extra lol"

But then he's warned by Max and Bart gets this moment of wide eyed nervousness and tight lipped concern.

Bart is taking this seriously. but he's serious about making sure the ghost girl doesn't get found out.

Also look at me and tell me those silhouettes arent just Wally (Flash) with his cowl down and Max Mercury without his lil hat/mask.

Bart does continue, but that moment of concern is quickly replaced with teenaged annoyance. From then on, he takes the route of acting like nothing particular happened by being unconcerned and casual.

He looks so innocent, with a slight smile and tilt of his head. His easy agreeance to the JL member's question.

A little bit of that concern comes creeping back in as the questions force them to pick a place between lies of omission and straight up lies. He uses a filler word here, which is interesting and a good choice too because then it would sound like he had to think about it.

ough, he gotta prepare to lie straight up now. he looks concerned to do it, but focused.

and he goes for feigned thoughtfulness. His casual way of speaking throughout the interview/interrogation really helps sell this.

With a goal in mind, Bart is pretty good at completing it. I think his initial approach of being extremely casual about everything was a bit too much, but then afterwards it went really well.

Being not as serious throughout this really served in his favour. People are questioning if things really went as everyone thought it did, and it's like Bart's response to that is just, "Idk, I don't have a reason to question it." Which can be pretty convincing! but not really too convincing to the older heroes. It shows that his POV can be unreliable.

[bossbutch]

halfway thru chapter 1 of umineko. idk how meaningful it is to speculate this early, The Real Umineko hasnt even properly started. these arent fully thought out and organized it's just scattered thoughts

battler's gender politics are entertainingly weird. he's like "when i meet a woman, even if she's my cousin or my servant, i NEED to make a big show of grabbing her tits so that she can hit me and everyone will laugh at the Classic Gag and it'll lighten the mood" which is just ridiculous enough to be something a rich teenager in the 80s could convince himself is okay. and then he sees the dinner seating and he's like "damn my family's so patriarchal. thought gained: inexplicable feminist agenda". i'm assuming this is a genre deconstruction thing. also lol that he is right next to maria in grandpa's tier list

maria is awesome btw i hope she gets to infodump about magic a lot more. some goon in the SA thread said the umineko author was once a social worker, so like. even if they don't use the word because it's japan in the 80s she's gotta be Intended as autistic

kinzo's room is so telegraphed to be a locked room mystery. he's entertaining too but i kinda zone out when he's talking about how his magic system works. i get the basic of more risk = more magic power but i worry it's the kind of thing that has Important Clues that my brain autofills with [arcane rambling]

battler constantly gasses up how good george is with kids and then george sees a family member repeatedly hitting their 9 year old disabled child and says, out loud, "not my problem"

assuming the epitaph is a puzzle intended to be solved and not the kind of puzzle that frames all the other puzzles and isn't solvable til the end: until the first butterfly i thought all the death and traveling was metaphorical. it still could be. like the six chosen by the key could be objects. the hands of a clock may be involved because that's in all the promo stuff and chapter start art. kinzo acted like the riddle was totally solvable by the doc or kanon or any of his kids. but if it was unsolvable until People Started Dying, it seems kinda pointless to have put the painting up years ago? but beatrice is a Dramatic Bitch.

Who Took The Rose?! no idea, but i'm sure it's important. if there's a 19th person, definitely them. totally possible the wrapper fell off but they'd still recognize the withered rose i reckon

Who Gave Maria The Umbrella?! again, if there's a 19th person, it's them. if not, natsuhi was my prime suspect because her alibi didn't have any witnesses but everyone else's did (if you really count grandpa and the doctor, like doc could easily say "i was with kinzo" and no one would verify that with kinzo). but then there was a scene right after from natsuhi's pov (migraine and can't sleep without meds, literally me) where she speculates who did it. so either the narrative is heavily fucking with me, it's gramps or the doctor, or it's someone with an accomplice

the narration is from battler's pov except when it's not and it's strange. it even isn't from his pov in some scenes that he's in, like the letter reading scene. this is the type of thing that could Mean Something way later but is just a little confusing sometimes right now

kyrie saying there's a contradiction in beatrice showing herself to maria but hiding from everyone else, failing to consider beatrice may be a Dramatic Bitch. i think there's probably a 19th person even if they are not necessarily a witch with magic powers

the furniture being totally able to break promises but can't disobey orders is the kind of exact words semantic sillies that umineko memes made me expect

goes w/o saying that the way the servants are treated is supremely fucked up. going to servant school and then working in the mansion at age six... george proposing to a girl that he has so much power over is lol. it's nice that umineko cares who the servants are and why they're there, and other logistical human things like how kinzo made his money and what they're all doing with it

at midnight, where was the doctor?

they drop some hints that the non-shannon, non-krauss bodies have their faces disfigured and Could be other people but that is pretty ridiculous and there's no reasons to consider that yet

i wish the LP used the doughy original art but that's the price i pay for convenience

[pillarsalt]

its weird being in feminist spaces online bc on the one hand, we all understand that women have womens shelters because they actually worked towards gathering resources and opening these physical spaces. like they did actual work and didnt just wax poetic about the necessity. but then you have discourse about womens clothes and its like. you guys know there ARE brands out there creating functional clothing for the female form, right? and they end up shutting down due to lack of support? because we arent putting any action behind our words? and are just wishing good womens clothing into existence? like there are no mens shleters bc men didnt make shelters. there are no good female clothing brands because we 1) dont make them and if we do, 2) they dont get enough patronage to stay afloat. so yea guys, keep making tumblr posts about the lack of functional female clothing instead of seeking out and supporting those businesses. ill keep wearing my dads hand-me-downs because im economically and ecologically based.

Ooh anon we're playing with fire here... Alright everybody, feelings caps off and critical thinking caps on. This is in reference to a post I made a few nights ago about how I don't quite believe how many women claim they are incapable of wearing men's section clothes, a post which was itself in reference to another post that made the rounds on tumblr earlier this year. I wrote it after having had six beers and I'll be the first to admit, it was pretty inflammatory and worded in a way that lead a few people to reply defensively and angrily, so I turned off RBs and deleted it when I woke up the next day as damage control. The general gist of my post was that there are shitloads of options in the men's section that are far comfier with better quality materials than women's section clothes, that oversized clothes are easily adjusted for functionality ie. rolling up cuffs and wearing a belt, and that I think a lot of the women claiming they couldn't possibly wear men's section clothing are maybe just unwilling to "look bad," but again I wrote it in a way that obviously would not inspire good faith interaction with those whose choices I criticized. I'd like to take the opportunity to try again with this ask.

First of all, I also had a couple people say that they've had to wear the men's uniform at their job and it was ill-fitting and sucked. Of course I'm not arguing that women should not be accounted for in creating work equipment and PPE omfg, that's not what I'm talking about at all! That's a matter of safety and equality in employment, completely not what I'm saying. And I'm also not saying that women SHOULDN'T have clothes that are comfortable, functional, and properly fitting that are made with them in mind. We should be demanding this! What I am saying is that... we don't have that right now. Anon points out that there are businesses that have tried to do this and couldn't find enough patronage to stay afloat. Of course I want these clothing manufacturers to succeed, it would be the best case scenario, but in the mean time, we have two options: uncomfortable, flimsy, revealing, shit-ass-material that won't keep you warm women's clothes; and men's clothes that are possibly ill-fitting.

From the replies I did get, sounds like the biggest problem is with the hips to waist ratio, in men's pants the waist is too big when the hips fit. Yes, I get it! But I was also surprised to learn how many women are completely opposed to wearing belts?? I always thought belts were a wardrobe staple for most everyone, my Mom always wears one, I've been wearing one when necessary since middle school age. But happily for the non-belt-wearers, I've discovered that many men's pants actually have drawstrings, sometimes they're inside behind the buttons and zipper, so you can make them as tight or loose as you like. I have four pairs of pants like this, I wear them to work where I walk around and bring heavy things up and down stairs all day, they are sooo comfyyy.

The other thing is all my pants are from the men's now, and I have to tell you: sizing discrepancy is popularly framed solely as a women's clothing issue, but it's not really. Last week I bought two pairs of men's jeans from the thrift store, both size 34, without trying them on. One pair fits quite tightly around my thighs to the point that I will probably only wear them to events and not all day at work, while the other is the perfect size and so comfy I could sleep in them (don't worry, I won't.) It's trial and error all around when it comes to finding clothes that fit properly. There's not One Shape of men's pants. The changing room is your friend! Hang out in thrift stores long enough and you will absolutely find items that fit you wonderfully and feel comfortable.

So then we come to my main point: There are a lot of women who claim that men's clothes are just too big for them to wear and therefore they must resort to women's section clothes which supposedly fit them so much better... *FROM MY POINT OF VIEW* it seems a sort of convenient excuse to look the way a patriarchal society wants you to, in the same way that "sensory issues around body hair" is now a common stated reason to continue shaving and participating in sexist beauty culture without having to examine why you feel compelled to do so. I think when some women say they're unable to wear men's clothes, it's because they can't wear men's clothes and look as conventionally "good" as they do in women's clothes. And it's true, men's clothes are gonna be a bit looser and a bit more formless, but men aren't expected to be shrink-wrapped into their outfit like women are anyway. I understand the pressure to "look good," often women are treated poorly when they don't, but it's in your best interest and in the best interest of other women to resist that sexist pressure, or at least question it honestly.

Do I think you're a bad person for choosing to wear exclusively women's section clothes, absolutely not. I don't think women who shave or wear makeup or heels are bad people either. But I do think it's worth examining why you really feel like you couldn't branch out from the women's section.

Men's pants have a baggier crotch and ass area, but women's pants are often so tightly compact in the crotch that they can cause gynaecological problems. Men's shirt sleeves are quite roomy and may need rolling up, but many women's t-shirts have tiny sleeves that pinch your arms and draw your attention to the fact that your arm fat is being compressed. Men's pants can be quite long for a short woman, but cuffing them is simple: like anon said you can easily hem them, and if you don't sew like me, you can literally just cut them shorter and roll up the cuffs twice and KABOOM they become as short as you like. I want to reiterate that I do think women deserve to have clothes that are made with their comfort in mind, and I hope we do someday soon. But with the options we do have, there is a clear winner in terms of functionality, dignity, and quality. Men's clothes are made to be worn, women's clothes are made to adorn, decorate, be looked at.

Last point, when I hear someone say they're just too short or fat for men's section clothes... I can't believe them because I have seen A LOT of short and fat women wearing men's section clothes and doing just fine. You all have never met a short and/or fat butch lesbian? Ever? They look damn good in men's section clothing. I have a coworker who is 4'11" and shops 50/50 mens and womens clothes including pants. Like... I'm seeing short women wear mens clothes with slight alterations and zero problems. I really believe you can do it too. I believe!!!

In the end, I'm just a random tumblr blogger typing on my random tumblr blog, and you the reader have no obligation to take anything I say with more than a grain of salt. Try not to take this post personally, I'm not out to attack you. If your reasoning is simply "I don't want to," I can respect that and we don't have to agree. I think we can all agree the clothing situation for women generally sucks. If anyone including this Anon has recommendations for companies who make clothing that is legitimately created for women with women's bodies in mind, please let me know and I'll boost! Perhaps we can make a difference with our wallets.

[sucharide]

.

man i just want to give up, its all too hard and my brain doesnt work properly anymore, and my old strategies either no longer work or arent possible because of my living situation. i know this is so stupid; as my brother said, 'enjoy this sort of hard, it's nothing compared to real life'. It shouldnt be hard, my brain just isn't working.

i just... i guess it's burnout? I dont have a valid reason to be burnt out, though. I guess it's just autistic burnout? I hate that that word is now going to define me for the rest of my life — autistic — but it's the pay off for maybe getting supports in place when I can grapple with the government processes. it's not that I think autism is bad or anything, it's just that... i dont know. It's all my deficits. I feel utterly defined by deficits right now. I think autism is more than deficits, but diagnosis is about deficits, and I have pursued a diagnosis because the deficits have taken over my life (and I have enough financial privilege to have help paying for a diagnosis). I am where I am right now because of my deficits, and those deficits are autistic deficits.

.

I think in an ideal world where I had support and a diagnosis I wouldnt have gone to uni after burning out of my vetnursing work. I would have found a different job, something i could do a few days a week (maybe living with my parents again for rent purposes) while i recovered. I shouldnt have thrown myself into something entirely new and challenging like university. It's just an undergraduate arts degree, the kind people consider self indulgent and not very valuable to society, but i'm just... i went from hating my job and feeling exhausted, depressed and lonely every day to taking on a whole new and overwheming thing with no support systems in place.

sigh. I dont know if I am going to be able to get through these classes. I am having meltdowns a 2-3 times a week and I just don't have any help figuring out how to make things better. It's exhausting and it just gets worse.

Yes, my pointless little arts degree shouldn't be hard, I should be able to 'enjoy this sort of hard' because it's 'nothing compared to real life'. I dont think the real world would even be possible for someone like me.

[carzstarz]

trying to figure out if the lidocaine patch helped with costochondritis or not cause like yeah i didnt feel pain when it was on but it could also be a coincidence of like when it feels like hurting TT_TT like i Want to do something like clean or whatever but whenever i move it hurts and i gotta sit back down. if my knees arent the pain its my feet if its not that its my chest if its not that its probably something unheard of to science. talking with my dr about whether or not i should wear a heart monitor but right now we are just hoping that my heart beat problems are just a benign arrhythmia of sorts. like god im happy im finally getting treatment or at least acknowledgement but the pain still persists. i was celebrating the other day that i had a few min of unpleasant emotions and it didnt make the costochondritis flare up but then the other day i got mad at something for a little bit and ive just been paying the price. hurt my hip somehow too, either from walking or i sat weird for a few min, but managed to mostly sleep it off. theres gonna be a tour at a waste/ recycling facility and i wanna go to it sooooooo badddddd but its like a mile walk and theres probably stairs so like. you know. lately ive even been getting the urge to like i dont know, like i want to be intimate and personal with people so badly but im not sure if i can find anything good or not weird to say. as in i want to be weird with my words with people and i want them to be weirder back. but i dont know how to navigate that because im shy and i dont wanna be like weird when its not wanted. whatever weird in this case even means im not sure. mostly the pain keeps my head fuzzy so i cant talk much or talk well. i miss drawing!!!!!! its been over a year now since that became lost in me i think (as in when i first started having costochondritis even though it took nearly a year to get the problem addressed despite my constant efforts) like ive drawn a little bit but it hurts my head, it hurts my hands, nothing seems to work. its like i dedicated myself to art for so many years for nothing. ive just been so unwell my whole life, my art was never "good enough" and i could never draw "fast enough" and i could never "do it right" and now it seems like i could never "enjoy it properly" as if theres some magical thershold of when your talent or skill make it "worth the time" to create. which is stupid i know. i just feel like despite all the time and effort i put into art, i could never dedicate myself the way im "supposed to" because god its hard when youre in constant agonizing pain and everyone hates you and youre starving and an insomniac and having daily panic attacks/ psychotic episodes and brittle like! i lose! as always! everyone that ever wanted me to not exist finally won! im in too much pain to exist in society or even in my own mind! its someone else now! i was gonna become a banished person eventually anyways, i was just really hoping i could pretend im on equal terms with other people for just a little while before then. and i cant even mourn it, or think about it, or talk about it, or else the distress will cause my chest pain to flare up. as in i already am feeling it so i might as well write out my thoughts before i cant take it anymore AAAAAUGH!!!! 💥💥💥💥

[dirtyyybimbo]

First and foremost: please take care of yourself while your are in the lows. You don't have a caring master to take care of you during the aftercare phase. Wrap yourself in a comfy blanket, eat something nice and distract yourself with a feeling-good movie/series.

Second: I inmensely enjoyed your narration, and read it several times. I'd like to read more of your experiences. Honestly, I'd LOVE to see you all geared up, filthy and degraded. (The twintails were an unexpected surprise).

I think you enjoy being "worded" because It reflects your true self. Maybe soon you'll write up some nasty truths over your body and go to work/do chores outside/ meet Friends while your clothes cover those words... But you get excited of knowing how close you are to be "seen".

Third: Next time write 'slut' in reverse in your forehead, so you'll be able to properly read it in your mirror image.

Finally: I had a wonderful day, thanks for your kind words.

I expect to read more about you, bimpi.

Keep It Up.

i. 🙈 well, just so you know im totally blown away by this message. like in a good way but.

thank you. really its. thank you. 💜🩷🤍

i totes appreciates it. i have hormones imbalance so i tend to be pretty much in tunes with my mood and the fact that they arent "normal" so i knew hot to deal with it. it still sucks but i did ate something nice and went all comfy comfy in bed. but thats a very nice bit of knowledge to pass around cause it , i really appreciate you saying that. 💫

and wow. i didnt think it would be read at all to be honest so wow. even more if you enjoy it. (i totes blushed when reading your message tbh) not that i need that much encouragement to write about my situations but let me tell you i really really want to continue now and hope the rest will be nice enough. i do have to get some idea about what to do but there is enough depravities to get around i guess.

reading your analysis is probably spot on and a little bit scary i have to be honest. like yes, yes thats it and thats me and thats terrifying a little. and exciting which it prob shouldnt be. but it is what is is. and i already went outside with writing on me i admit. i think my pulse went crazy the whole entire day at work. a mix between manic panic and intense excitation. i drenched my panties without a doubt, incapable of thinking much about anything else. i get very obsessed with thing, hyper fixating easily and that was one thing i couldnt forget.

pretty sure i lost myself somewhere.

anyway. rambling is also a problem.

i keep the slut in a corner of my mind. absolutely integrated to the (as of right now) very empty program but its added. only item on it. just writing it makes me all tingly. something is definitely wrong with me. (i mean, the wrongest is probably that i love it but whatever)

thank you. you made my day. absolutely made my day and you have all my (i cant find the english word but know that you have all of it)

thank you. 🧡💛

have a good night? week-end? life.

definitely life. 🥰

hoping to here from you again.

(im going to stop acting like were in downtonwn abbey now. or the very dirty version anyway.)

bye. 💌

[raveneira]

I was watching naruto vs sasuke on storm Connections and damn it really is better then all boruto tbv

It is, the the plotline of connections isnt even all that original or grounbreaking, its hella flawed too and reuses alot of Naruto concepts despite being a Boruto centered story...which just goes to show you how BORUTOS story is so uninteresting that they had to take OG concepts from Naruto [new Uchiha lore, focus on a new more interesting Uchiha from the past cuz Sarada is so neglected and uninteresting, Pain worshiper, Naruto vs Sasuke, a new war] instead of working with any of the Boruto story because lets be honest...WHAT story? when you really think about it nothing is really going on in the Boruto story, theres no direction, no intrigue, no personal or deep conflicts etc.

You know why Naruto vs Sasuke hits while Boruto vs Kawaki doesnt? because there was extensive build up of their bond, their rivalry, their conflict, and reconciliation, so when you saw the roles reversed with Naruto and Sasuke in Connections, it hits HARD because you know just how far Naruto went to save Sasuke against all odds and everyone calling him a fool he never gave up on him, now that role is switched to Sasuke, and now he gets to be in Narutos shoes fighting his best friend trying to snap him out of it, and he even repeats the same words Naruto said to him which hit so hard because we KNOW just how HUGE of an impact those words had on Sasuke when Naruto said them after their final fight, they literally brought Sasuke to tears.

Compare that to the role reversal goin on in Boruto, you remember the hype from this panel right?

Oh the hype was strong in this one, atleast from those still invested in the series up till this point, this was CRAZY right? the endless possibilities, expectations were through the roof, and what happened? what was done with that potential? absolutely NOTHING

This panel is the equivalent of Gohan telling Buu he's not gonna fight him, he's gonna kill him, only for him then to fumble the entire fight, top 5 hardest lines in the series thrown right out the window with zero pay off, this panel is literally that because it went NOWHERE.

Its honestly ASTONISHING how much this concept has been wasted, and I personally despise it but hey, even if I personally dont like the approach I could still appreciate it if it was atleast executer properly and actually done well, its not like omnipotence couldnt have been used for some great conflict, character building, character development, Boruto really could've grown alot from this and understood his ignorance and priviledge all this time he'd taken for granted, understanding the loneliness and life full of hate hes had to live all his life, for Boruto this is only temporary and forced to be directed at him, but for Kawaki this was REAL nobody MADE ppl hate him they actually DID

Boruto knows everything their saying to his, feeling for him, thinking of him is actually towards Kawaki, these feelings arent fabricated these are ppls REAL feelings towards Kawaki, and Borutos only had to endure this for 3 years of his life while 12 were full of happiness and love, but for Kawaki this was his life for OVER A DECADE, and even with the 3 years that have passed since the brainwashing Kawaki is STILL going through it because everytime ppl hate Boruto around him, scorn Boruto, wish he were dead, call him an ungrateful traitor, he knows their talking about HIM

So even though hes technically taken Borutos place being loved by everybody, he KNOWS that THESE are their true feelings about him, so while Boruto has only lived Kawakis hell for 3 years, Kawaki has lived it nonstop, he cant even escape it back at 'home' because its not even his home fr, its his prison with Ada and her little brother who constantly taunts him about how he'll eventually be exposed as a liar and how he unlike Ada doesnt care what happens to him, just reaffirming what he already thought and believed about himself to begin with.

That nobody would care or miss him, nor mourn his death, but be happy to rid that 'garbage' from the world. And Shikamaru and everyone who appeared in chapter 78 proved him correct.

So you would think that Boruto, now in Kawaki's shoes, experiencing what Kawaki's experienced his whole life

Hated by Kara/Code

Hated by the Otsutsuki hes a vessel of [Isshiki/Momo]

Hated by everyone for being an outsider bringin in trouble

Hated by those who were once his friends

Hated by his own family [to his knowledge, he doesnt know how Hima feels yet]

You'd think he'd have a moment of reflection and actually get where Kawaki is coming from, he obviously wont know how he feels exactly because they still had totally different upbringings but atleast he gets the gist of it now that he's in his shoes, so you'd think we'd have him reflecting on that much the most we get is this.

This was a good start, he acknowledged his screw ups and how his playing down of the situation lead to this, his ignorance from being so blessed blinding him to Kawaki's perspective, that it was easy for him to just go on like everything would be ok but thats not the way Kawaki saw it, he never asked how KAWAKI was feeling or what KAWAKI was going through, he only yelled at him for being 'stupid' instead of LISTENING to him and actually HEARING what he's saying. He's given Boruto glimpses multiple times of what he was thinking and feeling, but everytime Boruto downplayed it, just brushed it off as them just needing to train and get stronger and just have faith that his dad could handle it and if they just get strong enough too then it'll all work out too, BUT THAT WAS NOT REALITY and Kawaki pointed out why it wasnt, but he went ignored.

The only one who didnt just blindly yell at him was Mitsuki, HE is the ONLY ONE who ASKED Kawaki and LISTENED to what he had to say, and he was the only one open to doing things his way as well, but Boruto and Sarada unfortunately, so blindly follow Naruto's idealistic views, did NOT listen to him or hear him here, instead they both accused him of going too far with too extreme logic, when really he was just being realistic.

So It was good seeing Boruto acknowledge everything I pointed out about how we got here, it left things off where we would hopefully see Boruto have a whole new perspective towards Kawaki and how he'd approach reasoning and getting through to him from this point on, there was alot of potential now for some really interesting interactions and-

Ima save you the reading time and just spoil it, nothing came from this, if anything he listens to Kawaki even LESS now than he did before and have become even MORE arrogant and dismissive of him.

Im gonna take a stab in the dark and say in an effort to try and make Boruto DIFFERENT from Naruto in trying to save Sasuke, they made him actually looking for a fight, he doesnt want peace with Kawaki, he wants problems first and THEN peace afterwards

Twice he says his goal is to knock sense into Kawaki and then reconcile, which is the opposite of Naruto, he WANTED to talk things out but knew he couldnt and had no choice but to fight, but Boruto WANTS to fight and THEN reconcile which is...a choice, but not a good one to try and distinguish him from Naruto with because it just simply doesnt make sense.

If his goal is to make this a mere quarrel between siblings, not brother killing brother, then why would he NOT try to resolve things without violence with him? why withhold information? why taunt him? talk down to him? treat him like a nuisance? act as if you dont even WANT to deal with him in the first place? threaten to chop off his danm arm just for asking VALID questions?

if you wanna make this just a brothers quarrel then hes doing a terrible danm job of it because hes just making Kawaki look even MORE justified in wanting to kill him, which makes no sense even in the context of protecting him from being exposed because it was him and Kawaki alone most of the time, Delta seeing Boruto show Kawaki some humility wouldnt have affected shit, all it does is let her see Boruto treat Kawaki like he actually cares about him, that does literally NO harm to Kawaki's image because ppl knew Boruto and Kawaki cared about eachother already anyway, regardless of what 'Boruto' did to Naruto that doesnt erase everything that happened between them before that

Even if we throw all that aside and say no ppl dont think they care about eachother and that Boruto supposedly just turned on them all now, NOBODY WAS AROUND at some of interactions that he has to pretend for, as I said Delta means nothing, Kawaki was one on one with Boruto after he told the others to leave while he confronted him with Code, he again wasnt around anyone when he confronted him again when it was just him and Delta, so why did Boruto still put on the tough guy act? I get they had other important matters to get to but Boruto is able to walk and chew gum at the same time, so if he wanted to show some compassion to Kawaki then he could have but he DOESNT.

And thats why storm connections take on the role reversal plot is leagues better than Boruto's because there is just NOTHING to it, chapter 80 HINTED that they were going to start building more on it and doing something interesting but instead they just make Boruto discount Sasuke and gave him a completely OOC edgelord persona, which is crazy that their trying to make him like Sasuke WHEN THIS IS HOW SASUKE ACTS IN HIS EXACT POSITION AND ITS NOTHING LIKE THAT [8:26-13:55]

You will NEVER see the same kind of emotion with Boruto and Kawaki as you saw here with Naruto and Sasuke, and thats largely because its not written by Kishimoto and it shows

Whereas Naruto and Sasuke werent ever adopted or raised together like siblings yet still saw eachother as such anyway, Boruto and Kawaki actually lived together and were treated both as Narutos sons, Boruto and Hima acknowledged him as their brother, Kawaki was considered family by the Uzumaki fam, so this situation should have even MORE emotional weight than Naruto and Sasuke who were bitter friends/rivals, Boruto and Kawaki were family, and yet their entire conflict is emotionless, dull, forced, and uninteresting to watch unfold.

But to be fair Ikemoto did fk them over a bit because Naruto and Sasuke atleast knew of eachother for years, and then spent a whole year with eachother as teammates whereas Boruto and Kawaki spent less than a year together so yea, great way to really prevent this plot from hitting as hard as it could have if you werent rushing literally EVERYTHING and giving them no room to settle but it is what it is sadly.

The only saving grace is Ikemoto implying Kawaki is gonna get more development in the future but I wont hold my breath on that because he also said Sarada and Sasuke's future would be interesting, and we all saw how that turned out, yea bein off screened by Code and Sarada barely reacting to the news of it sure was interesting ._. peak fiction.

The Connections game should have NEVER came out because it just puts how severely lacking Ikemoto's attempts at these concepts PALE in comparison to the OG, and its not that Boruto and Kawaki CANT measure up its that Ikemoto is an incompetent lazy writer who fails at one of the core things Naruto is known and praised for and thats its EMOTION. The fact that the sequel to Naruto lacks so much EMOTION is fkin insane, its mind boggling how Ikemoto could work with Kishimoto personally and NOT pick up how to add emotion.

Do you realize the last time we've had a real emotional moment in this manga is while Kodachi and Kishimoto was still involved in the writing? and now that it has been taken over entirely written by Ikemoto there has been zero emotion? go back and read the timeskip from the first chapter to now and show me where there was any emotion besides Inojins 'death' that was just used to give Hima a rage moment to awaken Kurama, but Im talking an ACTUAL emotional character moment, or just scene in general, you wont find one despite Boruto being a perceived traitor and Naruto being dead but with no body to even mourn him, and Sasuke siding with said traitor is also just glossed over like nothing nobody even talks about it fr, keep in mind thats Sakura's husband and Sakuras friend [Naruto] and we got zero insight on how shes takin it, or Kakashi, you get the point.

Ikemoto not only doesnt know how to convey emotion well through expression [take a shot everytime Ikemoto just has somebody mean muggin or straight faced oe sweat drop with wide eyes that may or may not be cross eyed] and you'd die of alcohol poisoning pretty quick because hes unexpressive the way Kishimoto was, but he lacks emotion in his writing also, so he lacks in expression AND writing emotion as a whole which is...pathetic for the one writing the sequel to Naruto which is a series FULL of emotion, the fact that writers for a danm non canon VIDEO GAME got this right but Ikemoto the writer for the official sequel to Naruto fails miserably at.

Its sad, but even this flawed game was still written leaps and bounds better than Ikemotos Boruto.

[orchidyoonkook]

personal

Hi, need to scream. Tumblr seems to listen best. can and please feel free to ignore.

okay so essentially my job has removed all of the things I use and need in order to be able to do my job with my mental disorder. my mental DISABILTY. that i was honest with them and told them about at my freaking trial shift. that i told them i needed certain things in order to do well. nothing drastic. but things that helped me significantly with my performace.

SOOOOOOOOO i am now severely struggling at my job because they've taken those away cuz they were 'annoying' or 'in the way' or 'clutter'. like. im not even leaving shit every where. It's like, maybe at most 3 sticky notes? (for example) and they're written just for me, like just so i can have a list of things i can do and know to go back and look on when i need a task because ive finished the one i was doing. but then my boss reads them and critiques them as if they're for everyone. or says 'okay yeah but we do that every day so i dont see why you have to write it down. you should know to do it by now' LIKE BRO. I forget to put deodorant on some days because of said mental disability. it's something i do and have done every day since i was 12 or 13. thats 12 years. and i still forget some days just cuz my brain wasn't working properly.

AND now due to this they have put me, one of the staff currently with more seniority than 3 other staff, down to one shift a week, while every one else is full time or heavily part time.

In march i was full time and kicking ass, I was the fastest employee on my tasks, i was doing great, the customers loved me and now that all of my things that i need in order to function have been removed for everyone else's aesthetic preferences, I'm suffering, and most likely being silently fired.

like... what do i do with that. I can do my job, with my accomadations - that arent that many btw - i dont expect them to move mountains for me. But dude. I hate this feeling so much because i'm capable, theyve seen me be capable. i was for 1.5 years. like i want to be good at my job. I like and enjoy being good at my job. i've told them that. I want to do good but my ability to be good is being derailed, and i just get told to try harder, just work harder, impress your boss with how hard you work -> for minimum wage, i might add.

and everyone is like "just get a new job, just apply for more jobs you're not applying for enough, literally just apply for everything, even if youre not qualified" and i cant just do that, due to said disability. there are jobs i am unable to do. so i have to be a lil picky otherwise i'll be right back where i am now. and ive been looking for months and applying for months with no luck - no one ever responds. why list jobs if you dont respond?????

it's getting to the point where im debating opening up drawing commissions or writing commissions, or something that i can make to earn a little extra cash here and there while i get over this transition period. And that's a big deal for me because i don't do commissions. I do my art for myself or for when i want to share something i've made already, like the UTWT books. Hell, I did a tattoo design for a friend on here that i put easily 40 hours into, and i felt guilty that they wanted to pay me for it because i'd asked them for the idea. Like, i don't do commissions. so for me to be considering it is really telling for me.

anyways. this is a bajillion words long now, but i already feel better. and I'm posting it in the middle of the night in hopes that the void just consumes it and never lets it see the light of day.

If you read this, thanks and sorry for the bummer of a post. This isnt a pity party or a poor yoon thing. I'm not looking for comfort or any of that. this is a 'i don't have a therapist and my friends and partner and family are sick of hearing me bitch, when i havent been able to fix it in months despite trying my best too' thing. so yeah..

i hope the new year brings me something good.

[npdbarbie]

i do feel kind of insecure though... theres this really shitty guy in my life who keeps trying to get with our bf. and our bf is 100% not interested and has turned him down multiple times, but they are kind of "friends" and keep hanging out alone together. and i'd really like to just trust that our bf will just keep saying no, but this guy keeps using money to soften up those boundaries and overstep as much as possible, as often as possible, and bf isnt in a financial position to say no to that kind of cash. this guy will like, pay him to go on dates and pretend to be his girlfriend in front of his family and do SW. and i dont have an issue with our bf doing that kind of work, the issue is this guy is super toxic and unsafe and if he's referred to as a client or reminded that this is only happening because he paid for it and my bf doesnt really love him and no he cannot be part of the polycule and will never be and has no consent from any of the involved parties to do so, he throws a huge fit and screams at bf for hours and insists that he isnt actually paying for SW he's just "helping out because he cares" and all the "love" affection and sex is happening because theres mutual attraction. and so then bf will be like okay, if thats how you feel we're gonna do less of it then, i dont want to pamper you if youre gonna scream at me and refuse to accept reality, and this guy picks another fight about how bf "never keeps promises" and guilts and bribes him into going back on that and letting him continue as a client. and this same situation repeats every 2 months or so.

anyways so where the insecurity comes in, is:

1. they keep hanging out alone as friends when really if he acts this way if he HAS to be kept as a client, he should be only a client. the boundary lines are way too blurred right now and i know because bf has complained about it to me before that when they do one on one friend hangouts, he still treats him like a girlfriend even though he hasnt paid for a date, and gets angry when bf tells him to knock it off. he clearly has deluded himself into thinking theyre actually dating, or he's trying to gaslight gatekeep girlfail into making it happen by force (he knows he is taken and that consent is not there so this would be cheating. also did i mention he has his own actual girlfriend who he's neglecting in favor of this? yikes dude) and i dont feel like enough is being done to stop this

2. this situation has been so triggering to bf that he split an alter whos sole purpose is to hold... eromania? is that the word? the delusion that youre dating someone when you arent. about this guy. which of course he immediately takes advantage of, figuring out how to forcefully front trigger that alter to go on real dates and letting her just believe its official. bf talked to him about how thats not okay and he didnt stop. i cornered him and gave him an earful and he had the audacity to claim he had "no choice" but to take advantage of them like that because otherwise the alter would "kill him". which is SO fucking ableist. i was super stern with him and made sure he was properly ashamed of himself and he said he would stop but he's a goddamn liar and i cant trust that thats true at all

3. through all of this because this guy is so taxing and demanding, bf has been spending time with me less and less because after dealing with him he has no social battery left. so i feel like he is choosing this guy over me (even though he doesnt want to?) and im being replaced

4. the feeling of being replaced is amplified by this guy literally actually trying to replace me. my polycule made plans to go to pride together and not only did he try to invite himself along, HE TRIED TO UNINVITE ME. we ended up just not going at all, for a variety of factors but definitely also because he told us he was going to meet us there whether we liked it or not, because he was going specifically to see us. he lives out of state and was going to drive for 2hrs to ambush us when he wasnt wanted btw. and i really think i should be valued enough by my polycule for any of them to try and defend me from this kind of thing but its not happening. they were just going to let him do it. i had to be the one to stand up for myself and say no you cant fucking do that, im the one who made these plans with MY polycule that you WILL NEVER BE PART OF, you have no right to do this to me.

which of course made me feel totally stable and valued and wanted in my relationships 🙄

[smolcuriouskitten]

Mortal - Rocky

send MORTAL for a scene from my muse's past in which they had a brush with death, either themselves or someone close to them.

Triggers: Domestic abuse, death, killing of a spouse, emotional abuse, and physical abuse. Inappropriate use of an iron.

"Why must you always be so stupid?!" A smack rang in my ears and I collapse to the ground, looking up at Magic towering over me. "You messed up my damn pants again! How many times do I have to tell you, double crease them and make sure the LINE is there! THE LINE ROCKELLE." He yells at me and I dont return his gaze due to my eyes clouding over with tears. My ears were ringing from the pain of the slap.

"Do this shit again! Or else I swear I will kill you if you do this incorrectly! What will you make sure of getting you idiot?"

"Th...the line.."

"Good. Now hurry up, I have work in 2 hours."

And just like that, he left me in the room again to iron. Slowly standing up, I make my way back over to the board, ironing the pants to the best of my ability. I starched them to hell to make sure the crease would be crisp. I would rather not deal with him hitting me again, given that it hurt like hell.

After a few minutes he came to check on me. That stupid cigar in his mouth, blowing smoke in my face which made me sneeze. He picks up the pants to look at them, giving me a satisfied look, he hums. "Good to see you pay attention. Do me a favor and put your hand here, I want to see something." I placed my hand down on the pant, feeling around for something, I look at him confused before he drops the hot iron on my hand.

I let out a screech and tried to move it away but he had grabbed my other hand, pushing my hand down harder with the hot iron as the flesh sizzled onto the pant leg. My sobs and cries fell on deaf ears as he watched my face like a predator watching his prey. "You never apply enough pressure. You have to apply PRESSURE to the pants for this to crease properly! You cant do anything right!" He finally moved the iron away from my hand.

The skin stuck to the hot plate and blood began pouring from my hand. I could only muster a tearful 'im sorry' to him, to which he just raised his lip at me in disgust. "You are pathetic. Whining and crying and sobbing. Thats all you ever do. I want some peace and quiet in this damn house." Before I could react, his hand raised and I flinched, making him laugh.

He laughed a hard laugh, one straight from the belly. He got joy from causing me such pain. "Oh and I almost forgot.." His other hand, still holding the heavy iron, he made one swift move to hit me over the head with it. Then another. Then another. Then another.

The metal taste began to fill my mouth, the cracking sound of my skull being the only thing I could hear before it all drifts away into a muddled mess of sounds and guggles. Then nothing. I feel nothing.

I open my eyes to be met with a river, a long river that spanned for miles. I couldnt see how far it went due to the fog taking up the space. A boat sat and waited for me, with someone in a long black cloak standing by the edge. They hold out their hand before crouching down to me.

"You arent supposed to be here." They said, taking out a little book and flipping through it. "I know...I cant ride your boat today. Or any day." I mumble, the person then tilts their head to look at me more. "You are special. You must go back and finish your business." They say, giving me a hug which I return but I pull away to look at them. "Who are you..?"

"Kharon. You must stay strong. His time will come soon."

And just like that, I am brought back into reality. Now left with a booming headache and blood slowly going back into my body as it healed. "Clean this damn blood up and make me a sandwhich. Hurry up." Those words were the first thing I heard as I laid on the ground.

God I hope that Kharon guy was right.

[crowhyun]

Hi crow!! Just wanted to check up on you! How's everything? Are you feeling ok? Any big changes in life you'd like to share? I hope you're doing great. Srsly. I rly do

Its been awhile since ive been on tumblr and when i say awhile i mean its been like mayb 2 years 💀. I still rmb when i first started reading ffs on tumblr, u were one of the first few i read and really really liked. I remember going through so many of your works after reading my first from you. Throughout the period of time when i was active on tumblr i wld always check to see if you posted anyt new and just reread ur works over and over again. I genuinely loved them so much!

The last time i was properly on tumblr, i found out u deactivated ur old acc and had recently opened this current acc. Which was crazy long ago, and that is precisely how long i havent been on tumblr. Ofc me getting busy w school was one of the main reasons i became inactive, but u also being inactive/ getting ur writers block also played a part. Pls pls plsss dont take this the wrong way, i just wanted u to know that i really do enjoy your work!

If im not mistaken, i came back on tumblr bc i was looking to reread one of ur taehyun ffs but i couldnt find ur old acc and i was panicking like crazy. Thankfully i found your new acc n found the ff i was looking for shortly after. Im telling u the sense of relief i felt when i found ur acc, crazy. U are literally the only acc i rmb now, genuinely.

Yk one of the ffs i was really looking forward to was wired hearts (i think u refer it as AI taehyun?) It really caught my eye and peaked my interest when i saw the teaser and was crazyly looking forward to it. I even sent in an ask just to find out if u were planning on continuing it if u could repost the teaser. I was a little sad when u said u didnt really know where it was going n wasnt sure how to go about it and that u probably werent gonna post it. I was looking through ur asks and saw a few ppl asking about ai taehyun (cmiiw but i am talking abt the same thing right?) and u said u were working on it(?). I was rly happy to see that and again am looking forward to it if u decide to work on it! Again dont take this the wrong way, and dont feel pressured or anyt! (Cough cough would still love to see the teaser again at some point :''), pls dont feel pressured abt it tho)

Anyways, i came on tumblr tdy rly j by chance and the first post i see is one from u!! I was rly happy to see ur user first thing whn i opened tumblr i checked ur profile to see what youve been up to and found out youve also been inactive for a pretty long time. So i j wanted to check on u while u were here! It seems like many things hv changed in ur life, like u arent a flight attendant anym??? my memory is still stuck at that point of time 😵‍💫😵‍💫

Again i hope you're doing well. Dont be too hard on yourself and always remember there are always ppl supporting thing even behind the anon user! Lots and lots of love 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

(ps. Sorry for the super long msg😅, love u!)

(pps. Sorry if theres any typos or sentences that dont make sense, did read through what i wrote😅😅, again love u lots! 🩷🩷🩷)

Okay so, I woke up randomly at like 7 am and decided to check Tumblr bcs I'm a technology obsessed Gen z and omggggg 😭 this is gonna make me cry

Like why are we fated

I really do want to keep writing, and I've started up some works, so be prepared to have some put this week! I also really do what to continue with AI Taehyun bcs I've had a pretty good prompt in my head for a while and it's a bit angsty, but I love writing angst, it's just that one will probably be longer, so maybe around 7k-10k words I just gotta LOCK IN

And as for my life, I'm doing pretty good! I'm in school now, studying medica laboratory science alongside a pre-med track, so it's fine for my freshman year, but I do know that it's going to get quite rigorous soon enough so wish me luck hehe. I also miss yapping on here about drama in my life, and I wanna get back to that too lol

And do not worry about sending long messages, I LOVE to read them, and they make me so happy! You've really pushed me further into wanting to get back on here to post frequently, and I'm really going to set my sights on doing so. I miss Tumblr and I miss yall, so although I won't be posting everyday, I'll try my hardest to post at least once a week!

Also, Thanksgiving break is starting tomorrow, and then after that, it's presentations and exams, so I'll also be kinda busy with studying 😅 I'll Mae it work tho

[rd0265667]

https://www.tumblr.com/rd0265667/746989270063022080

Hey Buddy! Been reading your work every now and again and I stumbled upon this tweet, I hope you don’t mind answering these questions? I’m curious about your thoughts relating to this! Thank you! Keep up the good work btw and try to post more, I really enjoy your work!

2,3,5,9,10,11,15,16,18,20-23,26,28-31,33,34,36,37

oh wow, thanks for the kind words anon!

2. Probably like highly descriptive intimate and romantic moments. I'm more of a plot and story person, and I'm not as capable of writing the short fluffy moments

3. Chaotic. And kinda shit tbh. It's like, my writing goes off the rails easily, and sometimes the fics that come out feel kinda off(and those aren't counting the countless fics I've deleted)

5.idk, my tags arent that specific 😅

9. Good, but the resolution must do the cliffhangers justice.

10. Unrequited love, Right person wrong time, Loving against all odds

11. Enemies to lovers(not bad, just overdone), forbidden love, and easily avoidable misunderstandings

15. Hmm, plotless, probably Take a Break, my Haerin fic. I wrote it at a time at which my stress was at an all time high and writing it calmed me down, so it'll always have a special place in my heart

16. I'd say properly rated, it's good, usually for fanfics since there isn't as much character development necessary, but some times stories are better off as duology or trilogy, but all depends on how the writer likes it(I have this weird thing where I like trilogies)

18. Third

20. Technically many projects at once? Since I always have many ideas but not the time/ability to complete them

(I'll finish the rest in another post or it'll be too long lmao)