#woof this got depressing

[elpeadro]

Part 1: The Good Ending

If the writers wanted CaitVi to be their canon OTP so damn bad, they had two ways of going about it:

THE BAD, TRAGIC ENDING:

While Caitlyn still loses herself to her grief and rage and becomes a fascist dictator, her fall from grace is much slower and fleshed out.

She still has her moment in the gardens where she admits to Jayce she understands how easy it is to hate [Zaunites], though she acknowledges those thoughts aren’t right (“I know, I know” she tells him as the fight goes out of her). The same goes for her seething to Vi after the attack on the memorial, “What kind of animals!” The seeds are there. A few days’ romp through Zaun with Vi isn’t going to undo a lifetime of learned classism, bigotry, and a sheltered, privileged worldview, even if she has a good heart.

Instead of springing the badge on Vi when they reunite in her home, she does it after the memorial attack, when it becomes clear that Piltover will be taking military action in Zaun.

Vi reacts poorly, of course. Rather than Caitlyn phrasing it as “you can show [Piltover] not everyone supports Jinx” because that is incredibly stupid when she says Jinx is a rogue agent at the beginning of the episode, she comes at it from the angle of harm reduction. They can’t stop the enforcers from going into Zaun on a manhunt for Jinx, but they can catch Jinx as quickly as possible and limit the amount of innocents caught in the crossfire if they (Caitlyn) are in charge of the mission. Between Vi’s knowledge of Zaun and Jinx, and Caitlyn’s resources as a Kirammen, they can fix things before they get really bad. (And Caitlyn gets justice for her mother in the process.)

Intentional or not, this makes Vi’s guilt issues even worse, because Caitlyn had the shot and would have stopped all of this from happening by killing Jinx - if not for Vi pleading with her. In an echo of Vander’s words, she internalizes the blame for the fallout and suffering about to come down on Zaun. It’s her fault for creating Jinx and preventing Caitlyn from stopping her.

So Vi takes the badge so she can “fix her mistake”. And just as in canon, it looks gross and wrong for her to wear that uniform.

**Extremely, extremely important to note that Caitlyn doesn’t weaponize the Grey to start. The thought of doing so doesn’t even exist yet. And with her team and Vi’s knowledge, she is confident they will catch Jinx.

Except they don’t.

Every avenue is a dead end. Tensions rise as Piltover demands to know Jinx is dead, so it can sleep easy at night. Zaun doesn’t take kindly to a militarized strike force stomping through its streets, especially once they learn Vi is one of them.

And so bit by bit, Caitlyn compromises on her morals. Holds the threat of Stillwater over people’s heads. Acts on that threat. Is rougher and more threatening with suspects and criminals. It’s all justified in her mind.

She has to do this; otherwise, things will get so much worse if the full wrath of Piltover comes down on Zaun.

The criminals she’s harshly treating are members of the chemgangs. They deserve no sympathy or mercy for what they’ve done to their fellow man, like Huck or the refugees the Firelights take in. Silco’s crimes are their crimes.

She can’t trust anyone else to handle this mission without making things worse. She tells herself that she hates having to do this, but it’s better than the iron fist Piltover is clamoring for.

(In her frustration and rage and grief and privilege, she forgets the lesser evil is still evil, and eventually there will be no difference at all.)

And so when Caitlyn feels she has no other choice, she weaponizes the Grey. It is controversial. Vi is horrified and angry, and perhaps Maddie or Loris get a fleeting “are we the baddies?” thought, but Caitlyn justifies it, just as she has done everything else. It is either this or total martial law, where so many more people will suffer. Vi’s guilt rears its ugly head, and she, too, is unable to recognize the rot that is slowly growing inside of her with each passing day, with each piece of her soul she sells to the machine that is Piltover’s ruthless oppression of Zaun.

Their hunt for Jinx ends the same way as canon. It is here that we finally see the full extent of how far Caitlyn has fallen. 

“It’s her blood in your veins” is wonderfully perfect in its bigotry. There is no going back from this. Just as there is no going back when she hits Vi in the stomach with her rifle and leaves her behind as Vi sobs and breaks down.

Caitlyn accepts her ascension to dictatorship, even if some part of herself recognizes that Ambessa is orchestrating this for her own benefit. Again, she justifies it by telling herself if she doesn’t take power, someone worse like Salo will.

During the timeskip, Vi breaks down as she does in canon. Caitlyn is in some of her hallucinations, but a majority are of everyone she betrayed. Vander, her parents, Mylo, Clagger, Powder (not Jinx), Ekko, Benzo, and even her kid self all look at her with such disappointment and disgust, reflections of her own guilt and self-loathing. She sacrificed everything that made her Violet, and now she has nothing left.

Zaun doesn’t let her forget. They call her a bootlicker, traitor, the Kirammen attack dog, the Piltie pet. With how non-existent her self-worth is, she agrees with them. Her self-destructive behavior is cranked up to the max. The loudest cheers in the fighting arena are always when she takes a big hit or loses.

As time goes on and Jinx’s popularity grows, it’s a direct slap to her face that Jinx is portrayed as Vander’s successor and a revolutionary symbol/hero. After everything Jinx has done, Vi is still that much worse. Again, she can’t help but agree, and spirals even harder.

-

And so when Caitlyn and Vi stay together in the end, it isn’t a happy ending.

Vi comes back to her less because she loves Caitlyn so so much and more because she genuinely has nothing and nobody left. Jinx is gone. There’s no way she can go back to Ekko and the Firelights, not with what she did as an enforcer and the guilt weighing on her. Zaun hates her and sees her as just as bad as Topside. She’s all alone and beaten down by the world.

And so she decides to be selfish and return to Caitlyn, because that is the happiest she can be now.

While Caitlyn does care for Vi, their relationship is still toxic and abusive. Caitlyn was the boot stepping on the necks of Vi’s people for over a year. She hit Vi once; she can (and according to irl studies, is more likely to) do it again. She saw people like Vi as lesser, undeserving of clean air to breathe. She referred to them as animals, and that their blood made them this way.

Without being forced to reckon with and confront the mountain of bigotry she amassed and carried out over the course of her strike force and dictatorship, it is impossible for their relationship to be a healthy one.

(That is all without pointing out just how emotionally, mentally, and socioeconomically vulnerable Vi is by this point, and how desperate she is for something, anything to latch onto.)

So their story becomes a tragedy. Fitting in a way, given the conclusions to the two stories in season 1 are both tragic (episode 3, episode 9).

For Vi, the tragedy is watching a girl burning with revolutionary fire, a protector and defender, slowly lose everything and everyone she ever loved at the hands of the brutal, uncaring system that is Piltover’s oppression. How that fire is slowly snuffed out as she is beaten down time and time again, chooses wrong, loses someone else. How she betrays her deepest convictions while going through an incredibly emotionally fragile time in her life, and she thinks she’s doing the right thing. How she becomes the very thing she always wanted to protect others from. How she is cast aside the moment she doesn’t conform to her oppressors’ standards, is reduced from “one of the good ones” to “just like the rest of them”. How she is left with absolutely nothing after losing it all to the system she is oppressed by. How she ends up as a caged bird: the once revolutionary fighter now “content” to be her dictator’s lover.

For Caitlyn, the tragedy is watching a girl with a kind heart succumb to the corruptive nature of fascism. How she truly had good intentions of fixing things from within the system when she started, but was unable to recognize the moral decay creeping within her - because there are no good cops, no good enforcers, no good fascists. How she lies to herself and becomes more and more cruel with every action. How she is able to justify actions that were once nigh unthinkable as a deep, pervasive rot slowly spreads inside her, calcifying that kind heart into a cold, bitter thing. How she spits in the face of her mother’s legacy and uses her privilege to hurt the oppressed even harder in ways only she can. How she discards Vi, a woman she convinced to sacrifice every principle she believed in, a woman she loved, the moment Vi acts out of line in her eyes. How she is too inundated by privilege and class to recognize just how far she has fallen.

They could have been wonderful partners in another life. We see the potential good they could be together in season 1. 

But fascism has chewed them up and spit them out.

Will post and link part 3 (the disjumbled tonal mess of an ending we got) once written.

[ahollowgrave]

.

thank you to everyone who left a nice comment or DM'd me or whatever yesterday I didn't reply because I get very embarrassed when people show me compassion when I very clearly need it. But I read each one and saved them for next time and I am blowing you kisses and avoiding eye contact, you understand. depression is a known liar and you can't trust her. she is very convincing, however, and so when it gets to you please know I am there holding your hand.

[littleperson404]

mmmmm projecting depression onto ur sona/blorbo

yeah thats basically how i feel rn. just... layin on the ground, muscles no worky

[thothunter-420]

what do you think about the stuff pete did... Im sure you know what i mean... the whole pedo thing........ i love him lots im just really not sure how to like him Publicly knowing someone might ask about it and i was wondering what u had to say about it since it seems you're pretty open about liking him

idk what to put in the tags for this one ngl SO SAYING IT HERE: sensitive content warning for mentions of csa and discussion around illicit materials. if anyone wants to shoot me a message with actual tags i should put on this, please do!! would rather be safe than sorry here but i never use this app smh. so it's a complex subject for sure but i don't think he's guilty based on what i've seen and read. his autobiography touches on this a lot, with the discussion ranging him from being a csa victim himself to attempting to go vigilante mode when he was doing a google search to donate to a russian orphanage (i think it was cuz one of his friends was involved in some kind of charity) and stumbled across a horrible site. what he did with putting his card into a site after that as part of his research or whatever was so incredibly stupid of him, and he def knows it now. and while you can go "yea that's his autobiography of course he wouldn't say anything", there was no evidence found of him possessing anything and there has been no pattern of him doing it before or attempting it again as far as i know. he's a celebrity and they would have absolutely cracked down on him to make an example of him if they could have, but pete stuck to his story and was also backed by daltrey 100% (which is huge considering their rocky relationship but i digress). on top of no one else coming out with anything to really incriminate pete, there is nothing to really prove anything. it's a super awful and suspicious sounding case, but i don't believe he's actually all of that. plus i doubt he would found a charity like double 'o' if he did not genuinely have compassion for victims. there are people who have done a lot worse in the classic rock sphere with actual evidence against them also, so i really do not think he is this deplorable individual. knowing pete's track record and personality, he did something stupid and ill-advised but had his heart in the right place. silly ol me on tumblr isn't the best source though so feel free to look into things on your own as well!! the info is out there, and i encourage you all to do your own research if you're comfortable with it for sure

[eraserheadadult]

my biggest hope & prayer for volume 2 is that the bonus chapter is about aya's backstory this time....

[opens-up-4-nobody]

I desperately need to be a scene kid for Halloween this year

[ofviolentdeath]

It's 12:30 at night, I have done nothing on here today, I celebrated my nephew turning 2, finished watching First Kill, and am now setting up the first game system I've gotten since the PS2 was released (not counting my Switch because that is a handheld).

[partycatty]

a depressed and drunk johnny cage in his trailer on his birthday and we decide to surprise him. Us being a good bestfriend bake him a cute little cake with happy birthday spelt out in frosting and get permission to go deliver it to him.

what’s he supposed to do when he’s drunk and a cute little thing like us does something so sweet? sure it’s his birthday, but he thinks you deserve a gift and he ends up fucking you in his trailer.

love ya 💙💙💙

ARF ARF BARK BARK GRRR WOOF

johnny cage > happy bithday

you surprise your best friend on his birthday. he returns the favor.

warnings: smut ofc, he's drunk (i knowwww he's a canon recovering alcoholic BEAR WITH MEEE) SUB JOHNNY NATION RISE UP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i kinda made him beg like a dog icl so hes kinda ooc oops

notes: INTENTIONAL MISSPELT TITLE!!! and this fic kicked my ASS. it took me like a week to get the courage to finish this holy fucking shit.

word count: 2.8k

[ masterlist ]

• you and johnny went far back. you had ties in the filming industry though you weren't on screen yourself. this drew you two together, even before you careers blossomed.

• you worked next door to his production, and you recall johnny expressing to you his annoyance for having to work on his birthday. he sounded... more miserable than usual, and it left a weird pit in your stomach.

• during your break, you ran into a nearby supermarket and purchased all the equipment you'd need: cake mix, frosting, sprinkles, and two numerical candles that spelled out 30. it took blood sweat in tears for you to bake this cake in record time, and decorating may have not been your strong suit but the purple frosting and gold lettering turned out... decent. hey, it's edible nonetheless!

• tip-toeing your way to his trailer, you were sure he had to be inside. you even double checked with his staff, and he was on an extended break while filming. standing at the door, you knock a couple times, and a stuffy, groaning voice responds.

• "m'busy," you know it's johnny's voice but it sounded far sadder than anticipated. hopefully the cake would cheer him up?

• you reply with his name through the crack in the door, and there's some shuffling before the door swings open. you don't even have time to wait or process the situation before johnny tugs you into his trailer by your arm. your face darkens slightly when you notice his flushed face and parted lips. his hair was messy, and the smell of alcohol poured from his mouth. the top few buttons of his dress shirt were undone, giving you a peek of his bare chest. any other situation, you'd be head over heels, but his appearance concerned you.

• "are you drunk?" you ask with a hint of bewilderment, and johnny can only wipe his eyes and nod weakly, giving you a lopsided grin that unfortunately makes you feel weak in the knees. you swore to god to never act on this little crush, since he was a celebrity and all, and you knew better than to put your genuinely good friendship at risk.

• "you made me a cake?" johnny's gentle, almost tearful voice tore away any anger that began to bubble up and replaced it with warmth. you nod and hold it out to him, and the faint candlelight flickers against his skin beautifully. he was so soft when he was drunk at times, and only you got to see this warmer side compared to his typical cocky ways.

• "it's... not my best work," you shrug sheepishly, looking down at the cake. when you look back up, you notice johnny's lashes are wet as they flutter, looking down at the cake with you. he sniffs, and wipes his eyes quickly.

• "you spelled it wrong." his smile doesn't falter but the tears threaten to spill.

• "what?"

• "doll... look," johnny's finger trails the iced words. "you forgot the R."

• oh, shit. you did. the cake reads HAPPY BITHDAY JOHNNY in the most confident gold lettering. the time crunch must've made your proofreading not too accurate. you blush and try to move the cake away from view, sliding it onto his vanity.

• as you were about to sputter useless apologies and try to move on, johnny takes a step closer and fully embraces your body in his large arms, his form completely overtaking yours and trapping you in his grasp. johnny's head buries itself in the crook of your neck as he squeezes tight, nearly knocking the wind out of you.

• on instinct, your arms try to wrap around his body, gripping his shirt tightly. johnny mutters something incoherent, his drunken ramblings a key trait of his state.

• "you're so sweet to me," he mumbles tearfully, peppering kisses along your neck. sure, he was affectionate typically, but he was kissing your neck. he was drunk, but... your heart fluttered.

• "hey, hey..." you rub his back soothingly, hoping maybe you could stop him from attacking your neck in hopes it'll cool your rising heat. "because you're my best friend."

• he whines into your neck, presumably in appreciation of your words. your neck begins to have a faint smell of alcohol.

• "such a sweet girl..." he doesn't stop. his hands wander to your lower back, pulling you in harder. this worries you, deeply.

• "johnny," your voice is warning as they find their place on his broad shoulders. "easy, easy, you're drunk."

• "whassat matter," he bites down into your flesh, making you yelp in shock. "mean so much to me."

• when his hands find their way to your ass, kneading at the flesh, you shove him away with furrowed brows. "you don't want this," you warn him, fighting every single urge to not pounce on him in that moment. "this is... really, really stupid, i mean, it's just a birthday-"

• johnny shuts you up quickly with a kiss, slamming his face against yours so hard you feel the clack of his teeth. his face cups yours, borderline squeezing your cheeks as his lips dance with yours. when he finally pulls away, a string of saliva connects your lips and it sends you weak in the knees.

• "doll," he huffs, wiping his mouth. "birthday or not, i've wanted you for so long." he's breathless and nearly incoherent, like this was his only shot at what he truly wanted. johnny was infamous for admitting shit when drunk, so you knew that this was true for the most part. this was only reinforced when he suddenly dropped to his knees, level with your stomach as he placed fluttering kisses along the front of your shirt.

• "please, i..." he pressed his face into the fabric, fists bunching up around the back. "i'll make you feel real good, if you let me..." his hand snakes under your shirt, rubbing circles in the flesh of your waist as he looks up with pleading eyes. your hand moves downward, raking gently through his hair.

• "you really want this?" you ask gently, toying with his hair. "no going back."

• his lips brush against your stomach as he teeters between kissing the skin and speaking against it. "i want you so bad, doll."

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

• all it took was your permission, and johnny was on you in seconds. he backed you into his vanity, sending various items clattering to the ground. he fit so snug between your thighs, settling there to make out with you. perhaps he didn't even notice, but he was gently rutting into you as your lips connected, expelling desperate whimpers down your throat that only fueled your long-time desire. his cock could just barely make out the dip between your folds, but he pressed a little harder and made you gasp when your clit received unexpected attention.

• johnny pulls you in by the waistband of your pants, pressing your bodies impossibly closer as he panted in your ear. "let me taste you," he begged in a low whisper as he hooked his thumbs under the fabric. "i'll be good, i'll be so good."

• jesus, it seemed he wanted to eat you out more than you wanted to be eaten out. you'd never seen this flavor of eagerness in a man and it admittedly took you some strength to not giggle at how johnny fucking cage of all people became a lost, drunken puppy between your legs.

• "go on, pretty boy," you pant as your lips brush. the smell of alcohol brings you back to reality for only a moment.

• johnny decided that words took too much effort and instead dropped to his knees before you, shoulders holding up the weight of your plush thighs as he parted them hungrily to not waste a second more.

• the poor man forgets to even remove your pants before he's pressing his nose onto your heat, eyelashes fluttering as his heart swells with adoration. your scent, your heaving chest, your pretty thighs weighing his shoulders down, it was all too much. his pants feel a size too tight as his boner strains against his slacks.

• you get his brain going by jumping your hips up to get your pants past your ass, letting him pull them down the rest of the way. he throws them far, far away and latches himself again onto your pussy, now only divided by the fabric.

• "you were so eager before," you groan, thrusting forward slightly to put more pressure. "take them off."

• "no," he mutters against your panties, the vibrations making you jolt. "want this to last." his tongue flattens, drawing a long stripe up the fabric. when your panties stick to your pussy, it makes out the shape and he groans at the tease.

• "hold on," he places your thighs back down, trying to calm his breathing and flushed face. "i... i need this first. please." he unbuckles himself and pulls his slacks down to his thighs, giving you a view of his rock solid boner. it honestly looked painful, and you felt pity even if he looked adorable like this. his eyes were downward, fidgeting with his loose belt in shame. he chuckles breathily. "it's so hard, it hurts."

• "that's..." you struggle to find words when your mouth goes dry staring at his thick imprint. "that's alright." your voice was flat, trying to hide your desperation at his need to ask for permission. he didn't need to ask.

• johnny swallows thickly and lets his pants drop, followed by his boxers. his cock was blushed and seeping with precum, twitching once when he looked back up at you. he lets out a small moan, getting far ahead of himself as he positions his hips against yours. he gasps when the contact is made, stuttering his hips ever so slightly. johnny's hands find your thighs again, squeezing down hard to ground himself to not cum immediately. sober and platonic interactions were already far too much for his raging desire for you, so actually getting what he craved was beyond overstimulating.

• you were sick of waiting, so you snake your arms to rest atop his shoulders, hands raking through his undercut. you grip down slightly and he bites his lower lip in response, eyebrows knitting together as his wet eyes burn through yours. you glide your cunt along his throbbing dick and he jolts forward, resting his damp forehead against your shoulder.

• johnny understands you're just as eager as him and begins to thrust into your damp panties, but quickly decides it won't give him what he needs, so he hooks them with his thumb and stretches them aside. his tongue darts out to wet his lips, his eyes are glossed over and all he can fixate on is your pleasure.

• his tip notches between your folds and settles nicely, earning a hiss from the both of you from the warmth. johnny bucks forward eagerly, sliding himself up and down seamlessly due to how soaked you were. your folds hug his cock in just the right way, and you feel yourself already feeling heavenly every time your sensitive clit bumps against his tip.

• "fuck, doll," he hisses into the skin of your neck, placing open mouth kisses. "i want to last, you're - ngh - making it so hard... so hard..." he trails off, groaning when you slip and make his tip kiss the entrance of your cunt, making his knees buckle. "'m gonna cum just from this... god, you're so beautiful, beautiful girl-" his praises become increasingly more high pitched and you can tell by the way he begins to stutter his hips that he's close, unable to last long and it's driving him wild.

• johnny wasn't ever this needy, ever this pathetic. you reduced the cocky a-lister to a near-sobbing mess as he slips across your cunt, finding a momentum difficult from how slippery the entire scene has become. his cock is soaked, dripping down his leg due to your arousal.

• just as your orgasm builds up, as does his, johnny pulls away and lowers himself, gripping the flesh of your ass to pull your hips to his mouth. now thoroughly soaked and clenching around nothing, your cunt is desperate for a release that johnny happily provides, latching onto your clit, and shoving two fingers deep in your hole. he flattens his tongue, shaking his head slightly and flicking your clit relentlessly.

• your orgasm rides up on you rapidly, overwhelmed by the direct pleasure and how filled you were from two of his long fingers alone. wanting to lurch forward as your body trembles, johnny uses his other hand to sit flatly on your stomach, pushing you up against the mirror of the vanity and forcing you to take his lapping and fingering.

• johnny couldn't stand to have your pleasure soak his cock, shockingly. he needed, needed to taste the mess you were making for him or he just might die. you shake, trying to writhe and twitch as your orgasm fights you in waves. loud moans are pulled from your throat with each pulse of pleasure. your arousal soaks johnny's face, effectively soaking his nose and chin as he devours all you have to offer. he matched your moans with high-pitched whimpers, brows knitting together as his eyes clench shut. he was in heaven just as much as you were.

• he continues to lap at you until you force him away by his hair, his mouth becoming borderline painful as he eats you out through your orgasm. you giggle, as it slightly tickles. johnny looks... well, still drunk, but now a new kind. pussydrunk? lovedrunk? either way, the glossy look on his face suits him.

• as your chest heaves, attempting to recollect yourself, everything about the situation comes back to reality. you just grinded against your best friend. your best friend made you cum from his mouth.

• "what's that look?" johnny asks, wiping his mouth with his forearm. his eyes are glittering with delight.

• "nothing," you shrug, his grin contagious. "you did good, johnny."

• "yeah?" he seems proud of himself, glancing downward for a moment. he squeezes your thighs lovingly, placing a gentle kiss on them before finally standing up.

• "yeah." just as you respond, you look down to his cock, wondering if maybe he'd need some help getting there, too. it seemed only fair, that is, until you notice it's semi-hard and soaked. you sit up and lean forward, looking past your legs and onto his trailer floor. cum is splattered onto the flooring, some of it dripping down his thigh. "you came from giving head?"

• "how could i not have?" johnny's sheepish at your observation, but owns up to it quickly as he tucks it back into his slacks. "you're incredible." his face is tinted pink.

• "you're too sweet," you giggle, and johnny helps you down from the vanity as your legs wobble. giving up on finding wherever the hell your pants went, johnny leaves for a moment and returns with a pair of pajama pants, presumably a pair he kept in the trailer for his princess naps.

• "look who's talking... hey, speaking of sweet," johnny laughs, rubbing his hands together. "you and me wash up, and we have some cake, yeah?"

• "i like that plan," as you jump into the pants. johnny visibly tenses up seeing your breasts bounce from the jump, and he can't ignore the way your thighs and ass jiggle. "where did i put it, anyway?"

• you both look around the trailer for a moment, the memory of placing the cake down hazy among the rest of the event. you let out a small gasp, realizing that the cake was on the vanity, the one you got fucked out on... or rather, it was. the cake was splattered on the floor, frosting spread out and depressingly smeared anywhere it could reach. you frown, and johnny hovers behind you as you both look over the mess.

• "that sucks," johnny sighs, but his voice sounds uplifting. "that's alright, i ate something better."

• "don't be gross," you giggle, swatting at his form behind you. "that was perfectly good cake."

• "we can make another," johnny offers. "together. and i'll make sure you spell it right this time." his arms wrap around your middle, pulling you in close and breathing in the scent of your hair. the sweat, perfume and natural smell you carried always drove him wild, but he was now comfortable enough to bury himself in it. you lean into his touch, sighing as the heat from your bodies provides the perfect comfort.

• "happy birthday, johnny," you mumble softly, rocking back and forth in his arms. johnny responds into your hair, his voice breathy and warm.

• "thank you, doll."

[cornyforjk]

Your quite treason | JJK

ᥫ᭡pairing: married exbsf!jungkook x female reader 

ᥫ᭡genre: ex best friends, forbidden love , angst rating: 16+

ᥫ᭡warnings: drug and alcohol usage, mentions of cheating, swearing, depressed, obsession, crying and all that stupid stuff.

ᥫ᭡word count: around 20K (ik it's too much but i couldn't control my feelings 😩)

ᥫ᭡summary: Your love for Jeon Jungkook was ruining your life.

ᥫ᭡inspiration: Fortnight by The Motherr Taylor Swift (ft.Post Malone)

ᥫ᭡listen to: Fortnight by The Motherr Taylor Swift (ft.Post Malone), happier by Olivia Rodrigo

ᥫ᭡Author's note: AHHHH, okay, woof. This is the first ever fanfic I'll post, tho I've written many but never posted. Please bare if there's any grammatical mistake and if my writing feels too much.

Show some love and your suggestions are welcome in the comment section 😗

____________________________________

Hello Mrs. Park, how have you been?" You turn around to find Minji, speaking to you while watering the flowers of her front garden.

Minji, Jeon Minji. She always made you feel like the worst person, tho she never meant it. In fact,she's the sweetest and the kindest person you've ever known. And that's why, she's in the position you've always dreamed to be in. That's why she has the man you've always dreamt of.

And the fact, you can never be her nor in her position, makes you feel like the worst person on this earth.

"Hello, Mrs. Jeon, I've been doing just fine. How about you? " Tho your tongue burnt on the feeling of reffering her by the title,you still held up a smile. A smile behind which no one could see the pain. "I'm great, actually! But you, Mrs. Park, you look unwell." You sensed the concern to be genuine and you hated that. "Oh yeah, just tired from work. Yk it's too much these days." You replied, not wanting her to noticing anything wrong with you. "Ah, I understand. Work can get stressful, but I'm sure everything will get tell well soon." She smiles at you, and you see another reason why she's deserves the title more.

You smile back at her and thank her before leaving towards your house, your insides burning with the urge to kill her right then.

"There's a new couple shifting in the house behind ours" Jaehyun, your husband says while he's eating his breakfast. "Oh, in the Jung's? Didn't think they'll actually sell it" You reply, as you pack your lunch, not really caring for the fact. You forgot about it and the new info never crossed your mind once in the day.

It was when the bell rang and you opened the door only to face the new neighbors. Him, Oh god, It's him. Your excitement died the next second when you saw a very pretty women standing right beside him, her arm wrapped around his. "Oh-Oh hey Y/N. I totally didn't expect you! " His face evident with surprise. "You know her, babe?" The woman asked him. "Yeah, hun. She's a college friend. " That's when you felt your heart clench tightly.

Jeon Jungkook, the guy who you've been loving since your collage days even when you got married. The guy you thought of every night before you slept, the guy you thought about when woke up in the morning, the guy you thought about everytime when you ate icecream. Jeon Jungkook, was your friend who you trusted with your life. But now, he was just a stranger you know everything about. (Stranger by the loml Olivia Rodrigo, but the oc isn't over kookie😩)

"H-Hi. How are you J-Jungkook." You couldn't believe it. You've cried so many nights for him. Praying to get back in his arms, have him in your life as anyone, if not a lover. But now that he comes back, he's married. And very happily, you can see.

"I'm doing very well, Y/N. This is Jeon Minji, my wife. We have just shifted in the house right behind your backyard. So nice to see you again." You could feel your eyes pinch with pain, but you tried your best to pull up a bright smile. You can do this, you're very good at hiding feelings. Come on Y/N. "

I'm so happy to see you too. And hello Minji, nice to meet you. Well come in you both. " You move aside for them to come in but the refuse by saying, " It's fine, Y/N. We were just her to Introduce, but guess we don't need to do that. " Minji chuckles and continues, "But we'll see you soon. Have a good night. " She smiles at you, and you feel your legs tickling with jealousy. "You too have a good night, and please don't hesitate if you need any help in shifting. Both me and my husband are willing to help."

You fail to notice Jungkook stiffen as he's reminded that you're married too. He doesn't know why but he's always been uneasy with you being in a relationship and he has no idea why.

Both of them agree and leave after a short goodbye. You shut the door and you suddenly feel all the strength leaving your body. You collapse against the main door, still not believing everything that happened. All the memories that you were burying, we're now out of your control . You could hear his voice, feel his touch and his warmth. Tears made their way out of your eyes as you cry silently.

You unlock the main door to your house as you get inside. It's been so long since they've moved but you can't get yourself to move on. You reach the kitchen to grab a can of bear in an attempt to calm yourself down. But nothing seems to work, every drink or drug, leaves only a temporary effect. You continue loving jungkook even when you're high. You decide to take a cold shower when you hear the main door open again, only to see your shitty husband entering.

Jaehyun, both as a husband and a person, might be the worst guy you've ever met. You don't understand how he's able to lie on your face so smoothly. If you had control, you would have never married him. But fate and your parents had a different plan for you.

Around 2 months ago, your friend Sarah sent you a picture of Jaehyun with a girl sitting on his lap, and they were heavily making out. You didn't feel any pain in your heart but only shame, it felt like he had stepped hard on your dignity, your self respect. He made you feel like the most undeserving person, and he definitely did that intentionaly.

Ever since then, you've never started and conversation with him, disgusted to even look at him. And you guess, it makes it easier for him to leave the house whenever and stay at the girl's place. But you don't bring yourself to care, your mind always drift to jungkook and his very happy married life.

They're living their best lives, the typical rom-com like love life. Jungkook never leaves without a kiss with his wife. And Minji is always ready to welcome him by door when it's time for him to return.

When you had the same time routine, you always witnessed them being the happiest around each other and you had to change your timings. You couldn't bare seeing them being all lovey-dovey, so you leave for work earlier and arrive back home later.

"Y/N? " You were too drunk to hear him calling you. He called you out a few times before his hands reach your right arm to turn you around. "What the fuck!" You slurred, your drunkenness now evident to jungkook. "What are you doing here Y/N?? " He asks you with a strict voice, which soon melts when he sees you pout. "Kook, oh it's you thank god. I thought It was some guy again. " You said slowly as you moved closer to him. You were too drunk and high to remember the argument you had earlier. "Let's get you home Y/N. Don't you have morning classes tomorrow,hm? " He speaks very softly, as is talking to a kid. You mover your side to side, disagreeing with him and then you say, "Noo, let's have another drink and dance. I missed youuu" You wrap your arms around his neck, as your pouts grows even more. He chuckles while holding your waist just as tightly as you're holding him.

He agrees with you and empties the red cup you were having rum and coke in. Both of you weren't a fan of frat parties but whenever you're both together, everything feels the best. Jungkook's breathe fans over your neck as you both dance along On the floor by JLo.

When the chorus of the song starts you along with most of the other girls turn around to twerk along, as if it's a mandatory ritual. Jungkook's cheeks and ears turn bright pink as your ass grazed his crotch a few times while dancing and he wishes you don't notice. You turn back around to hold him again because when you weren't, you felt a certain type of coldness even when you're in bw so many people. His warmth was something which can get you just as high as a joint.

Both of you melted in each other's arms and stayed that way for so long, you didn't even know what song was playing now. "Mhmm, kookie can i kiss you? Just once I promise. " Jungkook wanted it, he wanted you to kiss him forever but he knew it's not safe for your friendship. He can't let his feelings over take him because he knows you only see him as a friend (who you might kiss sometimes 🤭) but how can he say no to you, especially when you're being so cute and adorable. So he decides to fuck it and bend down to kiss you. He captures your lips in a kiss as you both make out in the middle of the crowd. Jungkook felt like the luckiest person ever to have you like this. He has always been so happy that you're open to him with your feelings and uhm.

And you felt similar, just as euphoric and wanted this moment to last forever. Oh, how you wish to have him in all the ways possible. Even pray for it at every 11:11 you notice. And everything feels so good with him around. You were so in love with him but you knew he wasn't.

He has always been the best friend, the bestest you could ask for. But best friends can never be together, thec can never have feelings for each other because it always results in heartbreaks.

And so it did, both of yours heart broke quite terribly. When jungkook had to leave for USA after he got a job placement but he told you about it just 2 days before. Out of anger, you didn't talk to him neither did you come to see him off at the airport. Both of you were hurt, and you both had your reasons.

Next morning when you were returning from a morning run, you ran into Jungkook by the mail box. "Good Morning, Y/N" He wishes you and you just wanted to jump in his arms. "Oh, Good Morning to you too Jungkook! " You wished him back trying to match his level of energy. "How have you been? " You ask him further.

"I've been great, what about you? "

"I'm doing well too. " You reply, knowing you always feel well around him. "Good to hear that. The weather has been terrible these days" He says, trying to start a conversation.

"Yeah, ikr. It's so hot these days,even when it's just February." You both continue talking about random things when he invites you and Jaehyun over for dinner.

"Thank you for the invite, but i don't think Jaehyun will be able to make it, he comes back late these days. " You say and Jungkook could sense your hesitation on the topic of your husband. And ofc, him being the kindest human being , he asked, "oh, btw, is everything fine between you both? Minji mentioned you being very stressed these days. You know you can always reach out. " with concern evident in his eyes.

It became difficult to maintain an eye contact because you both know how terrible you're at lying to him. "W-well, yeah everything is fine between us" You say, your eyes roaming everywhere but jungkook. He knows that's not the truth so he persuades, "Y/N, yk you can't lie to me so tell me what's up? " When you finally meet his eyes, you feel like crying.

He thinks your misery is because of your husband but who's gonna tell him that he's the reason. He's why you're suffering, he's why you're depressed and he's the reason of your misery. You give him a little smile, and when you're about to continue, you get a phone call from your husband. "Uhh, I'll have to take this up. " You tell him and he says, "okay Y/N, I'll get going but please ask for any help that you need, hm? " With that you both smile at each other and leave.

"What? " You ask Jaehyun. "You're not at home? Where are you? " You turn around and see him at the main door. You scoff realising that he's coming back from that girl's place and you want to kill him right there.

It had been a week since you met him and now you were walking towards their house around 10pm. Your dad had been calling since morning but you couldn't answer his once . Though you're high as fuck but you can't find your phone, and that's why you're going to jungkook's place to ask for any of theirs phone.

You ring the bell and wait there for a few seconds. The gate opens and you're met with a just out of shower Jungkook. Your breathe hitches and you feel your cheeks burning. He's just as hot. "Umm, hi Y/N.all good? " He speaks, breaking your trance.

"Oh hellooo" You give him a 90° bow which startles him "I'm good how are youu? " Your words trail of as your brain suddenly feels numb. "Wait- are you drunk? " He recognises your drunken voice but you deny him by saying,

"Noooo. I'm not drunkk I'm Highh hehe" You start giggling and it confuses hi even more "I'm sorry to disturb you at this hour, but i need your phone." You pout, and jungkook feels like he's floating. He knows how it is, but your pout still softens him. "Come inside, it's cold. "

"Your wife isn't at home? " You ask him to which he replies, "no she's out with her friends for drinks."

"Oh cool"

You get inside his house and are amazed how pretty they've made it. This place screams jungkook and it feels so much like home. "So what brings you here? " He asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Ohh yeahh my phone was calling and I need to call him back but i can't find my dad" You pout again. This time he chuckles, laughing at your words.

"You can't find your dad?" His lips pulling into his iconic bunny smile.

"Yeahh, I can't find my dad. Can you give me your dad so i can call my dad, pleaseeee"

"Here you go, here's my dad" If you both were still young , he would've have teased you a lot. But you both have grown up and even though he wanted to, he couldn't.

"Thank you so muchhhh" You busy yourself dialing your no. when he asked you, "where's your husband tho? "

You were trying so hard to dial your no. correct, that you didn't realize when you said, "he's probably at his girlfriend's. "

"What"

"Holy fuck"

"Shit shit, you didn't hear anything" Your eyes widen with horror and you scolded yourself internally. "Wait fr? Jaehyun's cheating on you? And you know that?? " His eye balls almost out of the sockets, shock evident in his voice.

"Uhh, no no, Yk I'm-im drunk, don't mind that" You tried to play it off but jungkook wouldn't even budge. "Y/N, ik you're telling the truth, you don't have to lie to me. " His eyes full of concern and once again you feel your brain going numb. And you were starting to feel sober, which was even worse.

"Uhmm, I'll have to take your phone over so i can listen to my phone ring. " You ran quickly in an attempt to save yourself from further embarrassment.

Later in your room, you find your phone in your bathroom floor (you have no idea why) And now you have to return jungkook's phone back to him.

You gather so courage and reach his house. You plan on giving it to him and leaving right after thanking him.

And you did so, but after you turned around to leave, he held you arm in an attempt to turn you back. "Y/N, please talk to me. How long have you known this? " You see genuine concern in his eyes and feek like hugging him and crying on his chest.

"Uhh, just let it be jungkook."

"No, tell me. " His voice stern now.

"Why do you even care. It's nine of your business"

"But i just can't see you get hurt. " His voice soft again.

You looked in his eyes, and scoffed. "You can't se me hurt? Of all the hurt I've ever experienced, you have been one reason every fucking time. And you can't see me hurt? Wow"

Jungkook's face falls,but that doesn't stop you. "You fucking hurt me more than anyone does. I don't even care jaehyun's cheating one. It doesn't hurt me. But you do. You hurt me so much that i can't even feel any other pain. " Your voice now louder. Your eyes pinch with pain, tears threatening to fall. But no, you can't do this, not in front of him at least.

"How do i hurt you? " His voice low like a whisper. "Good question Jungkook. You wanna know how you hurt me? How don't wanna know since when you've been hurting me? "

"Y/N you're still mad at what happened almost 10 years ago? " A frown appears on his face and his tone makes you feel as if you're at fault.

"I wouldn't have been if it didn't affect me so much. And why do expect me to not? You told me fucking 2 days before you were leaving for Florida? You never called while you were there. You were living your life and here I was dying. I was suffering." Years finally rolled down your cheeks. And jungkook wanted to wile them down and hug you to make you feel better.

But he was feeling the similar frustration you were feeling. And it became evident when he said, " You weren't the only one Y/N! I was also hurt. You didn't even come to see me off at the airport even when I texted-begged you over text. I wanted to apologize you that day and tell you something important. But you decided to be egoistic and didn't come. And that's why I never called. Even when I was in utter need of help and support, I couldn't call you. Because I lost the level of trust and I knew you won't even pick up. "

His word felt like slap. He's right, you were being a bitch when you didn't meet of on the last day, but you were mad too. "I would have, I was missing you so much, I would have definitely. I would have caught the first flight to Florida only to be with you again." Your words were now slurred due to your crying, when you finally broke and jungkook felt like crying too.

"I know it's wrong, it's so so so wrong but I can't help myself. I can't control myself" You covered your face as you cried even harder. And when you felt his arms engulfing you, you couldn't hepl but wrap your arms around him too. Jungkook stands there caressing your back while he himself cries silently.

"It's so wrong I still can't move on-" Jungkook's heart picks up speed. He's not ready for this. You suddenly pulll away from him and wipe your tears. "I'll get going jungkook. " You left before you could do something that maight ruin not one but many hearts.

And for the next few weeks you so neither jungkook nor his wife and you were very glad for it. It was untill one Tuesday morning when you swa both of them in front of their house. And they were not kissing or anything but arguing? You heard Minji saying, "what has happened to you? You're so distant these days kook. You don't even kiss me a goodbye??" To which jungkook replies, "it's nothing baby, I'm just stressed with work and things are getting lost in the back of me brain. Come here lemme kiss you" You were shocked when you heard Minji saying "No, you're first gonna tell me who else you're so in love with"

"What the hell, Minji? Why would you say that? " Jungkook was just as shocked. You didn't want to hear anything further so you stepped out of the fence and that's when Minji calls you out. "Mrs.Park! Good morning!"

And hearing your name from her mouth, Jungkook's eyes light up and he turns around quickly to look at you. He couldn't control but then he blurted out, "Nice sweater, Y/N."

Minji called you out to check something and she was right. She was right. "Oh Good morning, Jeon fam. And thank you Jungkook. Hope you guys have a nice day!" You wished them and hurriedly left.

And so did Minji. Jungkook was left standing there.

It took him 2 minutes to finally understand how he reacted and complimented you which was totally out of his mind.

And he finally realises how fucked up he is.

[herotome]

When will the next update arrive? (GREAT GAME, I LOVE ITTTTT)

Hello!

In regards to the weekly written update: thank you for asking. I've been dropping the ball of those recently because, honestly, I think the grief from my recent loss is hitting me much harder than I want to admit. It's weird, though, because I had such a strong week of work last month, and then this month has been peppered with depressive spells. Woof! Grief is varied and unpredictable like that, I suppose.

Herotome is still consistently on my mind. I've at least been able to write some good notes for an NPC yesterday, but I hope to make actual documented progress sooner rather than later. I don't want to make a promise that I can't guarantee though.

In regards to an actual playable demo: the honest answer is that I don't know. In keeping with my philosophy of avoiding promises I can't guarantee, I don't do estimates.

I'm going to be working on a lot of "one-on-one "free time choice" scenes with each LI (where you choose someone specific to spend time with). It should be a lot of content but also involve heavily branching paths as the game builds towards actual LI routes.

I could release what I have so far, but I fear it'd be very short, underwhelming, and littered with unfinished assets (even more than the Super Demo has, ha). But like, if for some reason I suffer such severely ill fortune that I physically cannot continue working on Herotome, I'll be sure to put up whatever I've got.

For now, I'm still able-bodied. Just stricken with some sadness. It should pass.

[starstruckodysseys]

20 questions for 20 writers !!

thank u to @localdisasterisk for tagging me in this! i honestly do not know how many writers i follow so um. ill tag my pibe fic besties @wheelsupin-azarathmetrionzinthos @angelwiththeblue-box @fatestitcherr @incorrect-play-it-by-ear and the rest of u can fight amongst yourselves

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

48. i don’t know if its more concerning that almost half of them are from the past five months or that almost half are play it by ear. its the same almost half but still

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

143,389. woof

3. what fandoms do you write for?

obviously play it by ear. everyone knows that. also d20 occasionally and project sekai. unfortunately

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

toya and mizuki’s step by step guide to romancing a shinonome — i will be so real with you guys i specifically crafted this one to be popular. and then i fell in love with it along the way. but it did start as a science experiment

let me take you with me (just like this) — WHY. this is my second pjsekai fic and my fourth fic ever posted. it’s not at all reflective of my current style. help

kiss it better — yeah. same issue as the other one. this one’s better though lmao

say you miss me (say you want to kiss me) — honestly? just impressed a honakana fic made it up this high. love my girlies

the moon is crumbling (but that’s okay) — yeah everyone pretend to be surprised the ruikasa fic got this high up. it was a new concept for me, though, so i’m pretty proud of that

5. do you respond to comments?

i used to, but not really anymore unfortunately. to be fair, i will point you all to the fact that most of my recent fics are pibe, and then to the discord where we all scream about them together

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i don’t usually. write sad endings. bc i don’t like them. okay that’s not true i just usually don’t. i guess the moon is crumbling?? if i had to choose?? it’s more bittersweet than anything, but people did say they cried, so…

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

99.9% of my fics are getting together fics. it’s just the same ending a million different ways. you tell me

8. do you get hate on your fics?

not publicly!

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

i would simply be too powerful if i could. this is for your safety actually

10. do you write crossovers?

in the sense of characters across universes/media interacting? no. in the sense of “i am going to put my blorbos in every single other setting i slightly enjoy”? absolutely. putting them under a microscope. researching and recording how they react to their surroundings

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge!

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

i simply do not think there is a demand for my fics in other languages. not in like a depressing way, it’s just that i’m writing for like five people including myself, so. yknow

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, but if someone wanted to… 👀

14. what’s your all time favorite ship?

i’ve never written for them (yet, at least), but by sheer volume and span of time i have to say souyo persona4. my silly boys. i’ve never scoured the entire tag for a ship multiple times on ao3 like i have for them. i have so many thoughts about them that have never seen the light of day but they exist!!

15. what’s a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

stares awkwardly at feed your anger like fire… i’ve tried!! but it turns out that sometimes you get stuck on clothing designs and stop writing and then lose passion for the project and then stop updating for three years because you were too ambitious and also you hate your old writing style. not that i would know anything about that

16. what are your writing strengths?

i think i’m really good at dialogue, or at least banter. unfortunately this makes me very judgmental but that’s not important. also i can create a vibe well i’ve been told

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

in general? i SUCK at character description, or at least knowing where and when to place it. i also always worry about characterization and if my characters sound too similar

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i used to read so many fics that centered around using another language (shoutout bmc fandom when i was. in that. a dark period of my life, but alas) and honestly if it’s done well i think it’s cool!! i’m not going to get into the intricacies of bilingualism on account of being an english only speaker but it is rad to me

19. first fandom you wrote for?

wrote for? probably warriors. yes the cats. i had a whole fanfic for my oc. shoutout to… honestly i don’t remember her name but she was a real one! wrote for and posted is another story, by which i mean i don’t remember At All. probably bandori tbh, bc i don’t remember if i posted fanfic on my wattpad

20. favorite fic you’ve written?

either the venn diagram of curses and crushes (which is still my favorite fic title ever) or soaking in the glory. one of them is a 3k word expedition into the play it by ear canon space and the other is a 7k word fever dream i went into a fugue state to write in two days. honorable mention to the like the sweetest cup of chai series which i hold so close to my heart. silliest besties of all time

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Hello how are you,

You said you follow a lot of series. What other series are you into? What series of manga do you have? And which series are you willing to experiment with?

I follow too many fandoms to count, from video games to books, manga, movies, and stuff in between to count them all. My newest series I've gotten into it Delicious in Dungeon, it's funny and well written, but I'm still new to that.

As far as the manga series I have:

-Record of Ragnarok

-Overlord

-My Hero Academia

-My Hero Academia: Vigilantes

-One Punch Man

-Komi Can't Communicate

-Tokyo Revengers

-Monster Musume

-Ancient Magus' Bride

-Let's Buy the Land and Cultivate it in Another World

-Hunting in Another World with my Elf Wife

-Flying Witch

-That Time I got Reincarnated into a Slime

-Demon Slayer

-XXX Holic

-XXX Holic Rei

-Cardcaptor Sakura

-Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card

-I've been Killing Slimes for 300 Years and Maxed out my Level

-I was a Bottom-Tier Bureaucrat for 1500 Years and the Demon King Made me a Minister

-A Centaur's Life

-Machimaho: I Messed up and MAde the Wrong Person into a Magical Girl

-The Alchemist who Survived Now Dreams of a Quiet City Life

-Spy X Family

-Plus Sized Elf

-Plus Sized Elf Second Helping

-The Titan's Bride

-I'm not a Succubus

-Nurse Hitomi's Monster Infirmary

-Sailor Moon

-Ah My Goddess

-Otherworldly Izakaya Nobu

-You Like Me, not my Daughter?

-My Room is a Dungeon Rest Stop

-Me and My Brothers

-Ouran High School Host Club

-My Love Story

-Honey So Sweet

-Magic Knights Rayearth

-Thigh High

-Wish (by Clamp)

-Eyeshield 21

-Who Says Warriors can't be Babes?

-Giant Spider and Me

-I Married my Best Friend to Shut my Parents Up

-Manly Appetites

-Our Dining Table

-Saki the Succubus

-Saber Marionette J

-Miyuki-Chan in Wonderland

-Satan's Secretary

-Shirahime-Syo (by Clamp)

-My Girlfriend is a T-Rex

-Chobits

-Cyborg 009

-Saiyuki

-Saiyuki Reloaded

-Magi

-Love Hina

-Negima!

-Negima?! Neo

-Suppose a Kid from the Last Dungeon Boonies moved to a Starter Town

-No Need for Tenchi

-Sorcerer Hunters

-3x3 Eyes

-Street Fighter II

-Sakura Ganbaru!

-Street Fighter Alpha

-Street Fighter III Ryu Final

-Hetalia!

-High School of the Dead

-My Dress Up Darling

-The Way of the Househusband

-The Masterful Cat is Depressed Again Today

-Yakuza's Guide to Babysitting

-Beauty and the Feast

-My Senpai is Annoying

-A Man and his Cat

-In the Land of Leadale

-Drugstore in Another World

-Farming Life in Another World

-Bofuri

-Savior's Book Cafe Story in Another World

-Magic Artisan Dahlia Wilts No More

-I'm a Behemoth, an S-Ranked Monster, but Mistaken for a Cat, I live as an Elf Girl's Pet

-Wood Woof Story I told you to Turn me into a Pampered Pooch, not Fenrir!

-Cutie and the Beast

-Ms. Kozumi Loves Ramen Noodles

-If It's for my Daughter, I'd even Defeat a Demon Lord

-Reborn as a Polar Bear: The Legend of how I became a Forest Guardian

-Restaurant to Another World

-So I'm a Spider, So What?

-Kaiju Girl Caramelize

-She Professed Herself Pupil of the Wise Man

-Kuma Kuma Kuma Bear

-I Shall Survive Using Potions

-Reincarnated as a Sword

This one took me a while lol, but I have been collecting my series for over 20 years now so I guess that's understandable.

[goblinbugthing]

BARK WOOF GRRR. HAVE HARAS REF SHEET TIME TO PUT HER IN A BATTLE

MY BELOVED BUNNYGIRL HARA FOR @kirbyoctournament

one of the heroes of yore from gala’s generation (and also his dead wife)!! after gala was sealed, she absolutely Lost Her Shit and pulled some nonsense (that’ll be in a oneshot im working on so i cant SAY what she did) that got her exiled. she travelled around with her cousin for a few 10k years, and promptly got fucking murdered by nightmare when he arrived and decided to start fucking shit up.

now she is a ghost and also very depressed (she misses her wife) but she stays silly and remains slaying

[kittyt-hexxed]

A Place for You - Part One

Post Santa Barbara!Ellie x Ex-Firefly!POC!Reader

I’ve had this in the works since January. I wanted to post it when the first episode of the HBO series came out. But uh… it didn’t happen because this ended up waayy longer than planned. This photo was taken in TLOU2 Photomode by @kevinphotomode!

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

Warnings: Post-TLOU2, Apocalyptic Racism (young Reader), Racial Killing (young Reader’s parents), PTSD, Flashbacks, Trauma, Nightmares, Talks about Violent Murders, Past revenge Murder, Grief, Deadly Infection of Limbs, Prothetic Limbs, Dissociation, Heavy Depression, Low Self-Worth (Ellie), Reader lives on a Homestead, First Kiss (young Reader), Childhood crush, First time, Fingering

Summary: You weren’t expecting to see Ellie on your porch after six years - nor her passing out shortly after. You nurse her back to health from the verge of death, and the two of you bond through your shared traumas… and memories.

~ Late Fall of the Year 2039 ~

You hum as you begin cutting into the deer, carefully maneuvering your knife so you don’t puncture any organs. The soft thunk from the blood dropping into the bucket steadily gets louder the bigger you make the incision. A woof has you pausing and smiling at your dog who decides to sit at your heels. You reach down to pat Scout’s head before turning your attention back to the deer. You’d be able to quarter it and bag it once all the organs are out.

“We’ll be eating really well this fall, Scout. We got lucky with this one. It should last us until the spring.” You talk to him, “That means the next one should hold us over for spring, and you might get a new blanket.” An excited woof is your response, making you giggle. Soon, with practiced ease, the organs are removed and all the excess blood is in the bucket.

“Okay, Scout.” You pick up the bucket and he takes it from your hand, “Take this to the drop-off, and be careful.” Scout turns and heads off into the woods to your usual disposal site. The smell of the blood and guts attracted the infected so your family made a trap point to focus on them. You’d head out there once the meat was safely stored to torch any that wandered in.

By the time Scout returns with the clean bucket, you’ve removed the legs and head from the deer. The two of you finish up your routine with you removing the meat while Scout ran the inedible pieces to the drop. Now was time to make the trip back to the house, so you loaded up and headed back to your meadow. ‘I’ll have to check on the chickens and make sure there are no entries into their coup. I’ve got to keep them warm and the predators out.’ You remind yourself. ‘Then, it’s checking over the house and making sure nothing will get too cold.’ Suddenly, Scout starts barking, jolting you out of your thoughts as he takes off running toward the house.

“Scout!” You shout and run after him, pulling your shotgun from your bag. ‘Ah, hell! I hope it’s just a false alarm!’ The last time he reacted like this, some infected had managed to get inside from a busted area in the fence. A tree had collapsed during a storm, attracting the few in the forest, and you had to spend a few days fixing it. You grit your teeth, lifting your gun as you round the corner of the house. It’s been a while since you’ve had to use it on a human, but that didn’t mean you would hesitate with it.

The sound of Scout’s barks mixes with what sounds like… laughter? Your eyes widen when you see a woman standing on your porch, trying to calm down Scout as he jumps up and licks her face. You watch in shock, slowly lowering your gun as you listen to the laughter while trying to process the sight. The woman looks up at you, her face showing relief as a tired smile makes its way across her lips. It takes a moment, but you realize that you met this woman a few years ago when the two of you were much smaller.

“So um… I’m Ellie. Like Joel said.” Ellie reintroduces herself to you. You glance at your parents who are walking inside with Joel before you turn back to her with a grin.

“Hi, Ellie! I’m Y/n!” You greet her, lifting your clippers to show her, “Do you want to come up to my room with me? I have some books we can go through!”

“What kind of books?” Ellie raises an eyebrow.

“Ah, space-”

“Space?!” Ellie shouts and then her face goes red, “I-I mean- Space? That’s cool. I like space.” You gasp, grab her hand, and start dragging her to your room.

“Oh my god, that’s fucking amazing!” You squeal, “I actually have a telescope we can look through if you end up staying the night! Have you ever looked through one before? It’s so cool. My dad had found one for me last year…” You ramble to Ellie the whole way.

“Ellie?” You blurt out in shock, hurrying to put the safety back on your gun. You grin at her, suddenly feeling happy about the unexpected company. It’s been just you and Scout for way too long.

“Hey, Y/n.” Ellie says before her eyes roll back and she faints, falling onto your deck with a loud thud.

“ELLIE?!” You shriek, flinging your gun to the ground as you sprint to her. Scout freaks out as you hurriedly drop down and feel for her pulse. The firm beat only calms you down slightly before you open the front door and pick her up. You rush to the guest room, kicking the door open to place her on the bed. Mindlessly, you’re yanking at her clothes and taking off all the layers so you can inspect her for any bites. You pause as you’re removing her jacket, seeing her left hand bandaged and clearly missing parts of her fingers. You take a moment to unwind the bandages and a soft gasp leaves your lips. ‘It’s infected. I’ll check that after I confirm she’s not bitten.’ You shake your head and get back to work. You find no bite marks, only a tattoo on her arm along with dozens of scars all over her. You knew she’d be annoyed that you stripped her, but you didn’t have a choice. Finally, you press your hand to her forehead and hiss in aggravation. ‘She’s running a fever.’ You sigh, carefully picking up her injured hand. ‘It’s likely because of this infection.’ You examine the wound, noting that it must’ve reopened at some point as there are signs of old stitches.

Scout noisily comes into the room, making you glance at him and see him dragging a backpack that you assume to be Ellie’s. You put Ellie’s hand down and take it from him, patting him on the head before placing it on the desk. Your eyes linger on the numerous weapons sticking out of it, wondering when she learned to use a bow and arrow. ‘She had quite a few the last time she and Joel came by, but this is my first time seeing them up close.’ You sigh and look back to the woman passed out in your bed. ‘What happened to you?’ You frown.

“Alright, Scout. Why don’t we get back to work, huh boy? I have a feeling Ellie will be asleep for a while. Once I get the meat stored, I’ll work on helping her through this infection.” You look down at him. Scout whines, pawing at his face before pointing to Ellie. You give him a soft smile, reaching down to ruffle his fur. He liked Ellie when she came by last time, so it was nice to see him caring for her.

“You watch her for me, then. I’ll get this sorted out.” You motion to the meat, making him woof happily before he jumps onto the edge of the bed and lays down next to her.

It was two weeks before Ellie woke up. The first few days were the worst, keeping her from falling into a coma and injecting her with antibiotics. You wiped her body down with cold water from the river in an effort to break her fever. Once her fever broke, you were able to relax a little but she was still fighting off death. Her rest was fitful, causing Scout to come to fetch you more than a few times out of worry. You left him in charge of her since you couldn’t be at her side. She’d open her eyes and deliriously mumble things to you before falling asleep again. You alternated between tea, water, and soup, briefly waking her up to get her to drink them. Ellie was barely conscious, even when you fed her and it worried you. While you went around and prepared for the winter months, she stayed at the front of your mind the whole time.

You were in the middle of chopping firewood when Scout came sprinting out to you, barking like a madman, before sprinting back into the house. You followed after him, racking up your axe along the way and stumbling up the steps as you hurried to remove your boots. Your pulse is racing and you’re fearing the worst. She had been getting better, but that didn’t mean it couldn’t come back overnight. Ellie’s voice is horribly broken and raspy as you hear her talk to Scout, and you lean in the doorway as he rolls all over her.

“You’re awake.” You exhale in relief, seeing the energy in her movements as she looks up at you, “I was so worried when you collapsed.” You walk into the room, grab the glass of water on the dresser and take a seat at the edge of the bed. You help her take the first few swallows, gently wiping away a drop of water from her chin.

“...I’m sorry.” Ellie sighs, accepting the glass from you, “I didn’t know if I’d make it here if I’m honest.” She lifts the glass to her mouth and you watch for any shakiness. Her hand trembles slightly, so you keep your hand up to support her.

“You had a horrible infection in your fingers that traveled into your body. You went septic, Ellie.” You frown and cross your arms, “You’re lucky I know how to treat that. What happened?” That question makes her pause and she slowly lowers the glass with a heavy sigh. You turn to her, bringing your legs up to tuck them under you. She’s quiet for a moment, staring at the water as she chews at her lip.

“You don’t have to tell me. I’m sorry for asking.” You place a hand on her leg, “It seems like it’s something heavy.”

“No. I- Fuck.” Ellie groans, running a hand through her hair, “Joel’s dead. Murdered.” She says suddenly, recoiling at her news. ‘Murdered?!’ You straighten up in alarm.

“I chased after his murderer, leaving the little family I had behind, and long story short… I couldn’t do it.” Ellie fiddles with her bandages, “Kill her, that is. I was so close to it, but in the end, I couldn’t do it. She uh… bit my fingers off in the fight.” She lifts her hand, flashing you an awkward smile at you before dropping her hand into her lap.

“Ellie. I-” You flounder for the right words, in complete disbelief, “-I’m so sorry.” You wrap your arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug that she stiffens up in. When you go to pull away, she relaxes into your arms and hugs you back. She tightens her grip on you and starts sobbing as she buries her face into your neck. You feel your heart break as her tears run down your neck, and you shift around so she’s sitting on your lap while she cries. You practically cradle Ellie in your lap, letting her cry as you try to comfort her. She tearfully rambles about everything that happened as she tried to get to your home, unloading on you in her distraught state and leaving you speechless. You were the only person Ellie could go to… Scout had jumped up and laid his head on her leg, letting her shakily play with his fur. By the end of it, she fell asleep. You take a deep breath, laying her down as you try to process what was said, and Scout wedges between you two with a whine.

“I know, bud.” You stroke his fur, wiping tears from your own eyes, “I didn’t expect that either, but it makes sense why she showed up in such a horrible condition.” You sigh and glance at the sleeping woman next to you. ‘She looks so peaceful after going through all of that.’ You delicately wipe the tear tracks from her face and go to get out of bed. Scout whines, gently grabbing your wrist in his mouth and making you pause.

“Scout…” You sigh and he whines again, tugging you back toward the bed. You glance at the door, thinking about all of the things you need to do, but Scout insists. ‘Winter won’t be here for a month. I can rest for a day. Besides, I’m ahead of schedule.’

“Okay, okay.” You laugh softly, getting back into the bed and laying down, “...Happy?” You raise an eyebrow at him. He woofs and licks your face, making you giggle and push his snout away. You lay there and pet him, accidentally falling asleep in the process.

You feel warm when you wake up. Warm, comfortable, and… stuck? You open your eyes, confusedly looking to your left, and come face to face with Ellie. You blink sleepily, your mind taking more than a few seconds to catch up to the situation. You let out a squeak, feeling your face heat up as her breath fans across your cheek. ‘I-I’m in Ellie’s arms.’ You shift ever so slightly and you’re well aware of the complicated position you’re in. Her arms are tight around your waist, one of yours is tucked under her head while the other is across her waist. Your legs were intertwined and the two of you were practically chest to chest. ‘How did we get into this position?’ You swallow, feeling your heart pounding in your chest. ‘There’s no way I can get out of this without waking her.’

Your heart drops when you notice that Ellie’s eyelids are fluttering. ‘No. No. No! Don’t wake up now!’ You panic and do the only thing that comes to mind… you shut your eyes. You feel her grip on your waist tighten, a sharp intake of breath following shortly after.

“Shit.” Ellie whispers, “How the fuck…?” There’s a pause before she’s shifting, trying to untangle herself from you. Except, that’s not possible without waking you up. She stops after a few seconds and lets out a deep sigh.

“…Y/n.” Ellie says quietly, “…Y/n, wake up.” She shakes you slightly with her free hand. You slowly open your eyes as she continues to shake you. The blush on your face is back the moment you meet her green eyes.

“Morning.” Ellie says sheepishly, her cheeks turning pink, “We’re um… a little tangled.”

“R-Right.” You stutter and the two of you work together to get yourselves separated. It takes a minute, your legs being the issue but you manage to get free.

“Sorry, Scout begged me to lay down after you fell asleep. I didn’t plan on falling asleep next to you.” You fidget with your flannel sleeve, glancing at the dog looking at you from his doggy bed. ‘You sneaky mutt. When did you bring your dog bed in here?!’

“It’s okay.” Ellie sighs, “Um, can I get something to eat? I’m starving.”

“Oh! Yes, of course! You can jump into the shower and I’ll leave a change of clothes on your bed for you. The towels are in the closet.” You perk up, immediately heading to the door, “You’re okay with eggs and bread for breakfast?”

“Eggs and bread?” Ellie blinks.

“We have a patch of…” You pause at the surprised look on her face, “Eggs and bread it is.” You flash her a smile and leave the room. The first thing you do is grab her a change of clothes and place the neatly folded pile on the bed. You can hear the water running and you frown, wondering just how long it took for her to get to you on foot. ‘She came all the way from California.’ You head out to the chicken coup and gather up the eggs, happy that you have enough for a big meal. You practically skip into the kitchen and get to work chopping up some vegetables.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Ellie says from behind you, making you pause. You turn to her and smile, seeing that she looks a lot better now that she was able to get cleaned up. ‘Wait.’ Your eyes flick down to your waist, seeing the black and white shirt on Ellie. ‘When did she get my flannel?’

“Can you get the bacon out and chop it up?” You point to the freezer, “It’s in a labeled ziplock bag.”

“You have bacon?” Ellie gasps, darting to the freezer and you turn back to your vegetables. ‘Did I accidentally leave it on the bed?’

“My mom was in the process of making improvements the first time you came by. Now I have pigs, chickens, a dairy cow, and a few goats. Bacon is for rare occasions, but I think you being here calls for it.” You place the vegetables into the hot frying pan and Ellie takes your place at the cutting board.

“I’m not that special.” Ellie chuckles, taking out some of the bacon and cutting it up, “I met you once when we were kids.” You can’t help but watch how skillfully she uses the knife, moving quickly and precisely. The pop of the oil in the pan snaps you out of your staring.

“You’re a friend I haven’t seen in years.” You roll your eyes, glancing at her, “Yes. Yes, you are that special.” You and Ellie briefly make eye contact and you smile as you look away. ‘Either way, she looks good with it on.’

“Why?” Ellie gives you a curious look.

“You were the first kid my age my parents let me play with. When any other Firefly kid came through I had to stay away from them. They never told me why… just said it was for my safety.” Ellie was more than the first kid you played with. She was your first crush and first kiss.

“So the few days Joel and I stayed…”

“Were the best days of my life.” You smile at her, making her eyes widen. You stare at each other for a bit before you clear your throat and go back to your tasks.

“Do you want me to toss them in like this?” Ellie lifts the cutting board. You glance at the chopped-up pieces and nod your head. She dumps them into the pan and it’s not long before the bacon is sizzling. You head for the eggs, cracking them onto a bowl before whisking them up. Without you having to ask, Ellie takes your place at the pan and keeps an eye on them. You idly wonder where she learned to cook eggs. Soon you’re plating the omelets and grabbing your bread box.

“So, you make bread?” Ellie leans against the counter next to you.

“I do.” You grin, pulling the fresh loaf from the box, “My grandma had her recipe books. Each one was for something different. Soups, breads, sweets. I spent a lot of time reading them and learning how to make the things in them.” You hear Ellie gasp as you take it out of the bag and place it down on the clean cutting board. It was baked yesterday morning before you headed out to gather wood.

“Holy shit!” Ellie exclaims, making you laugh. You grab your knife, cut a few decent-sized slices, and put them onto the plate. You hand Ellie her plate and the two of you walk to the table, Scout happily following you. You put your plate down across from her, quickly grabbing the hibiscus tea out of the fridge.

“Do you want some tea? I-”

“-I’d love some. Thank you.” Ellie interrupts you, making you smile. You pour out some for her, sit down once your glasses are full, and take a sip. Ellie does the same, her eyes widening as she licks a drop from her lips.

“That’s good.” Ellie looks at you, “Really good.”

“I’m glad you like it.” You giggle, “You can have some more if you finish that glass. My mom looted all of the closed stores when the pandemic first started. The town was empty so she took advantage.”

“I might take you up on that.” Ellie says before taking a bite out of her eggs. You blush when you hear her let out a low moan. Your eyes dart up, seeing her looking at you with an awed gaze.

“You… like it?” You let out a small, flustered giggle.

“This is the best thing I’ve eaten in months.” Ellie sighs blissfully.

“How long did it take for you to get here?” You ask in between bites, “You left that out yesterday.”

“Five months.” Ellie says, breaking her bread in two, “Tracking time gets tedious when you’re traveling, so it could be shorter or longer.” You give her a sad smile, watching for a few seconds as she digs into the meal. She came looking for you after that fight… and nearly died in the process. It saddened you to know that you were likely the only person she could rely on.

“When we’re done, I’ll check your stitches. I’ll need to keep a close eye on them to make sure they don’t get infected again and heal properly.” You state.

“Thank you, by the way.” Ellie sighs, moving a piece of her omelet around with her fork, “Thank you for caring for me these past few weeks. I… You were the first person I thought of and I desperately needed a safe place to go.”

“Ellie.” You reach across the table and touch her hand, making her look at you, “I told you six years ago… you’re welcome here. Once your hand is healed, if you choose to leave, you can. Until then, don’t worry about being here. I’ll take care of you. Just focus on getting better.” Ellie stares at you, seeming to be far away… a look you’ve grown accustomed to seeing.

“Thank- you.” Her voice cracks as tears spring into her eyes, “Thank you so much.” She whispers, ducking her head down to hide her tears. You let out a quiet sigh, feeling your heart clench in your chest. It seems like you two have more in common.

The longer you were around Ellie, it got easier to tell that she was struggling. You’d wake up in the middle of the night to her screaming, thrashing around in her bed in a panic. Sometimes she’d call out Joel’s name or names of people you didn’t know. You’d turn the light on, wait for her to wake up, and hold her in your arms as you helped her calm down. Occasionally you’d find her in the shower, skin red and steam filling the bathroom as she stared into space. You’d help her out, guide her into getting dressed and tuck her into bed.

Ellie zoning out was the most common. She would zone out, staring into space in the middle of a conversation or activity. You’d patiently wait for her to come back, gently repeating what you were saying and trying to continue the conversation. It didn’t bother you. You understood what she was going through, even though you didn’t know the full story. You struggled with witnessing your parents’ death, having to kill their murderers yourself, and getting used to living alone. The first few years were the worst, with one particularly bad flashback resulting in a burn on your arm. So, you didn’t push Ellie to do anything she couldn’t handle but that didn’t help her feelings about it.

You open your eyes and groan, a glance at the window showing you that it was early morning. Your body is begging for water, so you begrudgingly get up from your warm blankets. A shiver goes through you, reminding you that the first snowfall is a few days away. ‘I need to finish up the last preparations.’ You hug your jacket closer to your body as you exit your room.

“Fuck! Just- fuck!” You hear Ellie curse, making you stop outside of your door, “UGH! Just hold the damn thing!” You can hear the aggravation in her voice and before you realize it you’re knocking on her door.

“Els?” You ask softly, “Can I come in?” It’s silent and you listen closely for her reply.

“Yeah.” Ellie responds, with a heavy sigh sounding, “I think I need you.” You open the door and the smell of blood catches your attention. A gasp leaves your lips and you rush to her side, blood dripping down her arm from a large gash.

“How did this happen?!” You hurriedly grab another towel, pressing down hard on the wound.

“I was… practicing on using my hand again. My knife slipped and… I got myself.” Ellie frowns, looking away in shame. You inspect the wound and bite your lip, relieved she didn’t hit anything vital.

“You’re going to need stitches again.” You pull the First-Aid box closer, reaching in for the things you need.

“Great.” Ellie huffs.

“Hey.” You brush your hand over her cheek, “Relax. There’s no rush to do things. It’ll take some time to figure things out with your-”

“-I can’t relax!” Ellie shouts, startling you, “I can barely help you other than picking some things up! I can’t even grasp things the way I used to! How am I supposed to be of any help when I can’t even keep a knife stable?! I’m more of a burden to you than help!” She breaks down sobbing and you feel your heart shatter. You knew she wasn’t feeling great, but she never clued you in that she was feeling like a burden.

“Ellie.” You frown, “Please don’t say that about yourself. You’re not a burden. I can’t fully understand what you’re going through, but I can sympathize. You came to me for help and that’s what I’m doing. I don’t expect you to be able to do anything, much less assist me while you heal.” You motion to her fingers. The stitches had been removed a month ago, and the skin reformed nicely since then but it was still tender. It would be another month before she was fully healed.

“I know you’re feeling restless, but I need you to work with me.” You sterilize her wound, getting a hiss of pain from her, “Once you’re healed, we can work on it. If your fingers reopen, we’re back to square one and another few months of waiting. So please be patient.” You plead, focusing on stitching up her arm.

“I’m sorry. I’m not used to other people helping me. Even when Joel… I’ve been taking care of myself. Not being able to help. Not being able to even grasp my flashlight properly is…”

“Upsetting.” You nod, “I get that. I know what you’re feeling. I’ve… felt it before. I haven’t talked about my parents’ absence but the same thing happened with them.” You glance up at her, seeing her look at you in shock. You swallow and focus back on what you’re doing, wiping some blood away.

“We went into the town a few months after you left. My dad had hidden anything we didn’t have space for to keep it safe from raiders until he finished building the storage unit. So, we were going to collect the last of the stuff and bring it home. Some old friends of my dad’s had come to find him and things went to hell.” You could practically hear the gunfire in your ears, your mother telling you to hide, “Apparently, they had a vendetta against him for choosing my mom over them. They didn’t like my mom. Racists.” You scoff, feeling the anger once more.

“How… did they die?” Ellie asks hesitantly.

“One of them got the jump on my mom and I couldn’t get there in time. I watched as they shot my mom. Twenty bullets. One for every year my dad left them. They did the same to my dad.”

“Holy shit!” Ellie gasps, gripping your shoulder tightly in disbelief, “Those sick fucks!”

“I saw red. I couldn’t sleep at night knowing that they got away with it. With all of my training, I still couldn’t do shit to save them. I took my mom’s axe and used the Firefly network to hunt them down... I killed them all. I thought it would make me feel better but it…” You take a shuddering breath, “It made me feel empty. It’s been six years, but I still have nightmares. The screams, the pleading, the blood, the fire. I still remember it all.” You finish the last stitch, double-checking to make sure it’s secure. Her arm would be easier to manage than her fingers.

“Y/n. I-” Ellie was at a loss for words, “I’m sorry. I didn’t ask because you didn’t seem like you wanted to talk about it. That must’ve been a horrible situation.”

“It was.” You sigh, standing up, “I thought that if I was faster or if I didn’t listen to my mom and hide… they could still be here. I’ve dealt with the guilt of being alive instead of them for a long time. So, I’m begging you, Els… Lean on me.” You put a hand on her shoulder, looking her dead in the eyes. Those other Firefly kids you trained with weren’t anything to you. Ellie was your first and only friend even though she was with you for three days. You were serious. Just as serious as you were six years ago when you told her she would always have a place with you. You cared for her a lot. After all, she made you feel like a normal kid for the few days they stayed with you.

“…I will.” Ellie says sincerely, resting her hand on yours, “I’ll lean on you.”

Winter flew by and you and Ellie made a lot of progress. To your surprise, she quickly got comfortable with you looking after her. The two of you ended up sleeping in the same bed so you could keep an eye on her wound. With a couple of major injuries healing, she had a higher risk of them getting infected and you wanted to avoid that. Scout had wanted to join in on the fun and dragged his dog bed into the room as well.

By mid-winter, Ellie’s fingers had completely healed and so did the gash in her arm. You worked with her every day on figuring out how to effectively hold items with her newly healed hand. It was challenging at first, especially with her trauma but you slowly got through it. It took a lot of gentle coaxing, tears on Ellie’s side of things, and persistence from both of you. She was able to firmly hold a knife within a few weeks and carry certain small objects without issue. But, you noticed that the cold seemed to bother her hand. She would mention that she was in a lot of pain if she left them exposed so you took it upon yourself to help with that.

“Ellie?!” You call out, nervously holding the wrapped gift close to your chest. You had been working on it secretly with some leather and hide you have. You are quite anxious about giving it to her, because you aren’t sure if she’ll like it. You glance down at Scout who's on your heels, knowing that you’re nervous.

“On the porch!” Ellie responds and you head toward the back of the house. You find her curled up on the couch, tucked under a blanket with your old astronomy book opened on her lap. Scout hops up and snuggles with her, making Ellie let out a cute giggle. A smile crosses your face, eyes darting to the soft snowfall before looking back over to her.

“What’s up?” Ellie asks, tilting her head curiously.

“I have something for you.” You hold out the gift. Ellie jolts up, surprised that you have something for her. She reaches out and takes it from you, placing it on top of your book.

“You didn’t have to get me anything.” Ellie laughs, unwrapping the item.

“I didn’t. I made it for you.” You shrug, a grin making its way onto your face.

“Y/n!” Ellie gasps, lifting the gloves out of the wrapping, “You made me gloves?!”

“I made you two sets.” You sit down next to her, picking up the soft one, “One for winter and one for working. This one is made with goat leather, and there are extensions inside of the fingers. It should fit snugly and bend as if you still have the rest of your fingers. This one is deer hide. It’s soft and will keep your hands warm. It should fit perfectly to your hand as it is now. You can wear these underneath the other ones if you need to.” You watch Ellie slip the gloves on, smiling to yourself as the deer hide one’s fits perfectly.

“These are really soft!” Ellie grins rubbing her hands together, “I can’t even feel any cold! Thank you!”

“Don’t thank me yet.” You chuckle, holding up the other gloves, “You have these to try on.” These are the ones you’re nervous about. It took you a while to figure out what material to make the fake fingers with.

“How do I put it on?” Ellie furrows her brow, inspecting the clasps, “It looks a little complicated.”

“Here, let me help you.” You gently take it from her, “There are two sleeves that go over your fingers to protect them and keep the pieces secure. They stretch like this… Then, you put your other fingers inside and clasp this around your wrist.” You tighten the clasp, explaining that there’s a quick release in emergency situations. She listens closely as you show it to her, eyes wide in wonder as she slowly flexes her fingers. You watch as her lips part, a gasp leaving them as she watches it bend with the rest of her hand.

“Do you… like it?” You nervously fidget with your fingers, “I can make any-!” To your shock, Ellie’s lips are on yours as she cuts you off mid-sentence. Your cheeks burn as she pulls away, her face turning red as she realizes what she did.

“I’m sorry I- um…” Ellie clears her throat, rubbing the back of her neck, “Yes. I love them.”

“That’s good. That-That’s great!” You stutter, hastily standing up, “I’m going to put some more wood on the fire.” You speed walk away and your fingers brush over your lips. ‘That was even better than my first kiss.’ You think flusteredly, feeling a tingle in your lips.

Spring arrives before you know it and it’s back to working around the farm. Ellie - sporting a spring/summer version of her glove that only covers her two fingers - insisted on helping you. You two had addressed the kiss and Ellie apologized for it. You shyly shared the fact that it was better than your first one, and it snowballed into a whole conversation about your life here. Ellie was genuinely upset that you had been all alone for the past six years. The two of you got much closer, cracking jokes and having fun as you fixed up the farm. You learned that Ellie already knew how to care for animals, and she finally told you about her life before her incident. It was hard for her to talk about at first, but she shared a new story every day. You were happy to learn more about her life, but it made you sad, too. It gave you more motivation to help her through the days.

Along with becoming more open, Ellie was definitely flirting with you. She’d make comments about your work that focused more on you than what you were doing. It made you very flustered since you’ve never been flirted with before. You didn’t mind it. You kind of liked it. You end up flirting back, surprising her one day but she happily went along with it. It wasn’t long before you were catching feelings for the auburn-haired woman.

Life on the homestead was so much brighter with Ellie around. Your routines changed to include her and you found yourself with more free time than you were used to. You excitedly used that free time to show Ellie around the area or take her into the city. The two of you had a chance to enjoy the world together. A run-in with some infected showed you how protective Ellie was. She pushed you behind her, using her body to protect you as she fought them off. When they were dead, she looked you over with such a concerned look in her eyes you thought you might faint. No one has been that concerned over your life in a while and it made your feelings for her deeper.

“How about we go down to the river?” Ellie asks, hands tucked into her hoodie pocket. You look up at her, contemplating her question.

“I’ll have to secure the chickens first.” You answer, standing up and dusting off your pants, “I don’t like them being out if I’m not around.”

“Awesome.” Ellie gives you a breathtaking smile, “I wanted to sunbathe on the rocks.”

“Sunbathe on the rocks?” You giggle.

“Yeah, I’ve got to work on my tan!”

“Your tan?” You start laughing, “You’ll get a tan working in the field with me. You don’t need to sunbathe for that.”

“What if I want to tan my whole body?” Ellie raises an eyebrow, a teasing smirk on her face, “You’ll let me harvest strawberries naked?”

“Na- ked?” You choke, your face heating up at her words.

“I mean there’s no one around for miles.” Ellie shrugs casually, “I’ve always wondered what it’s like to go skinny-dipping.”

“Have fun with that.” You clear your throat, turning around and hoping she doesn't realize you’re blushing.

“You could come with me, you know? Relax a bit.” Ellie circles around you to see your face, “It’ll be a fun experience for the both of us.” You bite your lip and look down at the ground. With Ellie around, you didn’t have to work as hard as you used to. And, although she hasn’t mentioned leaving, you were always on edge for the moment that she decided she was ready. It would be another memory to add, to fondly look back on when she did leave you behind.

“Okay.” You nod, “Let’s do it.”

“Really?!” Ellie grins, “You’re serious?”

“Why not?” You chuckle at her enthusiasm, “You’re right. It’ll be a fun experience for both of us and no one is around. It’ll be nice to let loose.”

“Awesome! Let’s go!” Ellie grabs your hand and starts running with you back to the house. You laugh at her antics as you hurry around to secure everything before you leave. You can’t help but admire how easily Ellie locks up the chickens and properly closes off the coupe. ‘It’s going to be heartbreaking when she leaves.’ You sigh but shake off the sad feelings. You wanted to enjoy your time with her.

After securing everything, you leave the house and head off into the forest. The area Ellie was talking about wasn’t too far from your place. It was a beautiful river that went up to your waist when you had to wade through it. You were nervous, extremely nervous the closer you got. You’ve never been naked in front of anyone and you agreed to skinny-dip with your crush of all people? You stop and marvel at the beauty of the area. Golden sunlight reflecting off of the water with leaves lazily drifting along and making the place look so… intimate.

“Ready?” Ellie glances at you.

“Ah…” You look at the water. ‘It’s only Ellie. It’s not like I’m showing off or anything.’ You nod, “Yeah, I am.” You turn away from her, slowly removing your clothes. You’re conscious of every piece you remove, goosebumps covering your body as you think of Ellie’s eyes on you. It makes your body feel tingly. ‘God, what am I thinking?’ You close your eyes, letting out a long exhale. ‘I shouldn’t be having these thoughts about my friend.’

“Y/n?” You jump, feeling fingers brush against your shoulder.

“Yeah?” You respond, whirling around only to get the breath knocked out of you, “You’re… beautiful.” You whisper, mindlessly. You can’t stop your eyes from wandering her body, entranced by her beauty. Ellie is lithe, toned, and everything you had embarrassingly imagined.

“I… can say the same about you.” Ellie whispers, her eyes roaming your body in return. You blush, crossing your arms over your stomach in a poor attempt to hide.

“L-Let’s go in.” You grab her hand and hurry into the water. You let out a squeal, startled by the cold water against your skin.

“Holy shit, this is cold!” Ellie curses, her grip on your hand tightening. You knew the river never warmed up but this makes you want to jump back out!

“It’s a nice change from the hot weather, though.” You comment, carrying on forward until you’re up to your shoulders. A memory crosses your mind, one of you and your parents playing around in the water. You turn to Ellie and give her a mischievous smile. You came out here to relax and have fun, so that’s what you were going to do.

“What?” Ellie raises an eyebrow. You immediately jump at her, getting a shout of surprise as you push her into the water. You’re submerged underneath with her for a moment before you’re coming up for air. The first thing you do is laugh as Ellie sputters and wipes the water from her eyes.

“Y/n!” Ellie exclaims, a laugh bubbling up as she looks at you with wide eyes, “Oh, it’s on!” She lunges at you, making you shriek as you’re knocked underwater. The two of you go back and forth, jumping on each other and playing in the water. You hadn’t felt this carefree in a while and her laughter made your stomach twist. Laughter that you were the one causing. There was something about Ellie that made you feel so bubbly. Even once you were sunbathing on a river boulder, you felt like you were floating and it was all because of her.

“I’ve never felt this relaxed before.” Ellie sighs, turning her head to look at you.

“Me either.” You mumble, resting your head on your arm as you look at her. The sunlight made her face practically glow. You could see her freckles, her eyes shone like the leaves on the trees, and even her hair seemed more reddish than normal. You were content laying here with her. ‘I could lay here forever.’

“Y/n?” Ellie whispers, propping herself up to get closer to you.

“Yes?” You hum, lifting your head. Your breath catches in your throat as you see a soft look in her eyes.

“Can I kiss you?” Ellie says even quieter as if she’s afraid for you to hear her question. Your eyes widen as you process it, and your heart starts pounding in your chest. You didn’t expect her to ask that, but the more you played it over in your head… the more you wanted it. You wanted her to kiss you.

“You can.” You whisper back. Her fingers caress your jawline, gently guiding you up and toward her. The moment is filled with anticipation as your lips hover an inch away from hers. You were so close. So close to kissing the woman you were crushing on. You gaze into each other's eyes, hers flicking down to your lips before she finally kisses you. ‘Her lips are soft.’ You think, but become too entranced by them. The way they move against your lips. How it makes you feel… How Ellie makes you feel. Slowly, it gets more intense. Her kisses get needier, hands grabbing at your body beneath her and you reciprocate. She makes your body burn and you feel an odd ache between your legs. It’s almost saddening when she breaks the kiss, making your new issue more apparent.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so touchy.” Ellie apologizes but you shake your head.

“I like it. I’ve never had this kind of intimacy before.” You say breathily, shifting uncomfortably as the ache becomes more obvious.

“Are you okay?” She asks in concern, “Are you sure I didn’t make you uncomfortable?”

“I- um…” You feel yourself blush. ‘Do I bring this feeling up to her?’ The concern in her eyes only makes it worse, “You didn’t make me uncomfortable, but I feel um… t-this weird aching I’ve never felt before. B-Between my legs.” You look away from her, feeling embarrassed that you don’t know your own body’s responses. You hear her chuckle and she turns your face back to hers. You can see the understanding in her eyes.

“It’s okay. It means that you’re aroused and this is what you feel when you are.” Ellie gives you a soft smile, “I can ease that feeling for you, but that involves me touching you down there. But, I’d only do that if you’re comfortable with that.”

“Oh.” You blush harder. ‘How could I not know that? My mom gave me a whole course about sexual health! I just… lose myself around Ellie.’

“I’m okay with that.” You respond shyly, “You can touch me.”

“Are you sure? You did just have your first kiss. Well, real one.”

“I’m sure. I would like for you to do it.” You nod your head.

“Okay, but tell me to stop if you feel uncomfortable in any way.” Ellie agrees, waiting for you to nod before leaning down to kiss you again. You can feel her hand move down to your thigh, it resting there while you kiss. A nip on your lip has you parting your lips and her tongue slipping into your mouth. A low moan sounds from you and Ellie’s hand drags along your thigh before stopping at your clit. She breaks the kiss and starts kissing your neck, making you tilt your head back.

“I’m going to touch your clit, okay?” Ellie murmurs against your skin.

“Okay.” You breathe out, a bit distracted by the feeling of her sucking on your skin. You feel her fingers shift before - “Ellie!” You gasp, a groan leaving your lips as a twinge of pleasure goes up your spine. Little whines and whimpers come from you as she plays with your clit.

“You’re doing great.” She whispers encouragingly, “Just relax into the feeling… Good girl.” You try your best to listen to her. She talks you through it, guides you through how you’re feeling, and explains the pressure in your abdomen. It feels like forever before the pressure releases and you whine out her name as a heat races through your nerves. You’ve never felt this before. It felt amazing yet you think you might burn up on the inside. It only made the ache down there worse.

“That- That was…” You try to catch your breath, “That was amazing but I still feel that ache.”

“I know.” Ellie pecks your lips, “I wanted you to feel that before I went in you… Are you ready?”

You take a deep breath to calm your racing heart, “…Yeah. I’m ready. You should totally kiss me again, though.” That makes her laugh and shake her head. This time you’re the one pulling her into a kiss. You’re nervous but excited as her hand finally moves to the place you need her to be. A shiver goes through your body as you feel her rub your slit. It felt weird. A good weird, yet you couldn’t help but wish she’d hurry up.

“I’m going to put my fingers in.” Ellie whispers, pausing your kiss.

“Do it.” You encourage her. She gazes into your eyes as you gasp, feeling her fingers enter you. You’re vividly aware of her fingers, the cool feeling of her skin is a welcome contrast to how hot you feel down there. There’s a pause, a moment for you to breathe and steady yourself before she continues. Every movement has you gasping for breath, sending waves of pleasure up your spine. Ellie’s nothing but sweet, once again guiding you through it because things felt different this time.

The pressure in your abdomen was slow to build up, compared to when she was playing with your clit. It was a deeper pleasure, lazily coiling through you but intense enough to have you moaning for Ellie. Her eyes on you are just as intense, making your heart clench in your chest. Her kisses are firm, purposeful, and dizzying at the same time. Even her words make you clench around her, to your surprise. It was a side of her you’ve only gotten glimpses of. A side of her you’re very interested in.

“Come on, beautiful.” Ellie coaxes you, kissing your collarbone, “Don’t run from the feeling. Allow yourself to feel it… Cum for me, it’s okay.”

“Ellie!” You moan loudly. You can feel yourself tighten around her fingers as the pressure releases and she lets out a low growl.

“Good girl.” Ellie kisses you, “Good girl.” Her words make you feel proud of yourself for listening to her. And you blush at her praise for you.

“Thank you.” You whisper, meeting her eyes, “Thank you for this.” You feel like you’re floating. Your heart was racing once again and there was an overwhelming feeling of love coursing through you.

“Shhh.” Ellie pulls you into her arms, “Just enjoy the feeling. Let’s enjoy this time together.”

“Does that mean you’re staying?” You ask hopefully, playing with the hair at the nape of her neck.

“I have no plans on leaving.” Ellie smiles and you feel overwhelmed with joy.

[goodnightsweetdreamsss]

my top 5 car seat headrest songs (as of now):

1: We Can’t Afford (Your Depression Anymore)

-everything about this song i just love a lot. the instrumentals are just so good. it sort of puts into words some things i feel and i love how he says “You’ve got a lot to live for” because throughout the song he uses terms like “we” and “our” and it sort of implies that he views this person more worthy of living than he is and i feel like it’s a great detail. the instrumental break at the end makes me go feral and crazy and then when he says “i don’t know how to make you happy” it just makes me feel something in my chest idk i love this song a lot

2: Fill In The Blank

-there’s a reason why this song is so popular and that because it goes so fucking hard i really like how it shows how people act towards people with depression. i’ve been asked “why?” when i try to explain my feelings and i just can’t think of any real reason that would make sense to the people i’m talking to. it’s just really difficult to exist and this song kind of puts it into words how i’ve been feeling and also just the overlapping vocals on the last chorus go so hard i love when songs do that

3: Cute Thing

-I like both versions of cute thing and i genuinely can’t figure out which one i like better so they’re both up here because i like them for different reasons. I like how smooth the face to face version sounds and i like how crispy crunchy the mirror to mirror version sounds. i like the instrumental break in the face to face version a lot more because there’s something about when the music stops for a second to let the singing happen that just makes me feel something inside. my favorite part of the mirror to mirror version is the little “woof woof!” after he says “i will be your rock dog” because it just makes me really happy. also this song got me back into tmbg so that’s also a plus

4: Please, Mr. Pilot

-please mr pilot is one of those songs that just kills me. the music is great and it’s more peppy (?) than some of their other songs but the lyrics are just bone-shattering life-changing head-banging-against-the-wall good to me. “why should i bare my soul to strangers when i never bared my soul to you?” like come on man i’m like foaming at the mouth whenever i listen to this song. also just a general thing about listening to songs from disjecta membra is that i just like going out of the way to pull up youtube to listen to a song i like because it feels like i’m visiting my long-distance lover

5: Something Soon

-Specifically talking about the one from teens of style because that one just feels nicer to me for some reason (i like the one from mbikmb too but unlike with cute thing this version i just like a bit more) There’s something about the lyrics to this song that just sort of make sense to me. “i want to break something important” that weird self-destructive impulse has hit me so many times and it just makes sense. also my fingers are frozen too dude i feel you it’s cold out.

Honorable Mentions (songs that i love a lot that didn’t make it into the current top 5):

-Literally just anything else from twin fantasy

-drunk drivers/killer whales

-i hate living

-it’s only sex

-kimochi warui

-hey space cadet

-destroyed by hippie powers

-i want you to know that i’m awake/i hope you’re asleep

-there’s more but i’m tired rn

[moonnue]

Cheeky Little Pup

Astarion x Tav / Astarion x Reader (2nd Person POV)

Rated M! Contains use of a certain dog collar, a hint of electrostimulation, and begging (but as a "joke")

Word Count: ~2k

Summary:

Why the Hells did you dig up that grave? For fun? Because all you did was disturb the resting place of a very nice dog named Myrna. And then you took the poor creature's collar. And THEN you SULLIED it, using it to get your sick kicks with your vampire fwb! Are you happy? Are you proud of yourself? 'Cuz I am.

Notes:

yes i mention pavlov's dog this is FANTASY pavlov and his FANTASY dog. just like how this is FANTASY costco, where all your dreams come true (got a deal for you! it's astarion in a dog collar woof)

-----

You don't know what possessed you to dig up that grave. Grave digging wasn't a hobby of yours, much less was it even a guilty pleasure that poked at the corner of your mind every now and then. So why you should think it, and give in to that feeling, is beyond you. Perhaps it was just the mystery of it. The great Arcane Tower looming over you, coupled with the unassuming nature of the grave that was so lovingly marked. There must be treasures to be found here, right?

Unfortunately, all you dug up was the skeletal remains of a very large dog and an equally large dog collar that now hung loosely from its bony neck. You took the collar to examine it, finding runes inscribed into the leather. It also held a tag, the name 'Myrna' carved delicately into it. While at first you were charmed by the thing, smiling at the love this beast must have had in its lifetime, it did not take long for a devilish idea to pop into your head. With a snicker, you bounded over to the vampire in your party.

"Try it on!" You cheer as you hold the collar aloft to Astarion.

"I'm not some pet." He spits, but that doesn't deter your enthusiasm.

"Of course you're not!" You assure him as you jingle it again. "But look how lovely it is. I think you'd look so dashing!"

He narrows his eyes at you, and behind the annoyance is the tell-tale sign of the man giving in. Traveling this long with him has given you an advantage. You know just how to butter him up; you even couple your words with a few blinks of your big, round eyes. When he still doesn't say anything, you press further, "Just for a little while? Please, Astarion?"

It's the begging that gets to him, finally relenting with a click of his tongue. "Fine, give it here." You squeal with delight, practically skipping behind him to fasten the thing about this throat. You do it just tight enough to be a proper accessory.

"I was right!" You say as you come around to face him again. "You are dashing!" The actual word that comes to mind is 'cute,' but you don't think that's the proper term to use if you wish to make him buckle. He seems happy enough by this choice of word, posing ever so slightly as a hand bobs his short curls.

"I'm always dashing, darling."

Astarion keeps his word, wearing it as your party explores the tower. Along the way, you cannot help but steal glances at him. It's something he notices (and something you wanted him to notice) because he grins and flashes his collared neck at you from time to time.

Eventually, you find yourselves on a floor that looks particularly lived in. Or, at least, once was, considering the deterioration of the building. There is a bed, moth-chewed, and next to it, a crumbling bookcase. In the corner is a rickety table, covered in yellowed papers and long dried-out pens. And by the window, within arms reach of the old chair, is a rather plain-looking button.

It has obviously not been pressed in a very long time. It is dusty, rusted around the edges where it meets the wall. You look it over curiously, and once more are possessed by something that makes you act instead of think. Using but one little finger, the button depresses.

"Ah!" Comes a shocked moan from behind you. You're turning your head, shocked yourself, to look at Astarion as he says, "I don't know what you did, but it made my neck piece vibrate."

There's a moment of silence that stretches between the members of your party as you look at each other. He notices the button then, and with wide eyes, meets your gaze again. You motion to it with a nod, glancing quickly between him, the button, then back to him as you wiggle the criminalistic finger. Astarion catches your drift with a smirk.

"Go on." He says.

Watching him eagerly now, you press the button once more. Once more, he moans-- a bit over the top this time, but that wrinkle in his furrowed brow is one you recognize as sign enough that he's truly enjoying himself. A wicked smile splits your cheeks as you move to press it again.

"Can you two not do this?" interrupts Shadowheart, who is an unfortunate and unwilling participant in your game. "We don't have the time for you to just... flirt."

"Yeah." Karlach agrees. Her hand rubs awkwardly at the back of her neck. "You two are adorable, don't get me wrong. But this? It's a bit much."

Your smile does not falter as you speak to your other companions. Your tone is light, all in good fun. "You guys don't have to be here for this. There are plenty of other floors for you to explore."

"May I reiterate: we do not have time." Shadowheart urges. Her hands are placed squarely on her hips while she chastises you. "We have better things to do."

"I cannot think of anything better to do than this." Astarion disagrees. When he looks at you, there's a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. One that convinces you to give the button another press.

He moans again, louder this time, the sound much more depraved. He makes a big show of it as he stretches his arms out to the ceiling. The performance makes both Shadowheart and Karlach grimace, which only makes you laugh.

"Like I said. Plenty of other floors." "Five minutes." Shadowheart hisses as she shows you her palm. "Five. No more. That's all you're getting, and you're done." With that, she turns on her heel and trudges towards the staircase.

Karlach only says, "Have fun, you two!" before she follows after the girl. Once the two are out of sight, you beckon Astarion over, who quickly obliges.

"What a curious device." He muses aloud, studying it. The two of you are sitting together on the floor before it. Astarion asks, "Whatever is it for?"

"I think it's a food dispenser." You point to the evidence-- a nearby dog bowl with dried up bits of chow placed beneath a pipe. This makes Astarion's eyebrows shoot up.

"And it vibrates because...?"

"Classic Pavlov's dog. Dog gets shocked, dog gets hungry. Dog eats!"

"Hm..." he seems to be considering your explanation seriously. "I don't think I'm getting it. Why don't you press that button again, see if it can't get my brain juices flowing?"

"Yeah, sure, if you think it will help." You say just as nonchalantly, in spite of your twitching lips. When you press the button yet again, his reaction this time is much more subdued. There is but a hint of a rumble in his throat as you watch his lashes flutter.

"Oh, love. You simply must try this." He's already reaching up to undo the clasp. You laugh heartily, wiggling with excitement.

"Yes! Please, Master!" In a playful high-pitched voice, posing silly like a dog, you're only joking. You even add a little bark for good measure, laughing just after. But when he doesn't react right away, your skin prickles with uncertainty. You blink at him, trying to gauge his reaction through his blank expression. "Sorry, too much?" You chuckle, feeling slightly embarrassed that you got ahead of yourself.

It's still a moment before he responds, staring at the ground as though deep in thought. He finally responds in a shuddering breath, "Actually? Strange as it is, that's actually doing something for me."

You roar with laughter, leaning back on your heels, clapping your hands. "Why am I not surprised!" You bellow, amusement echoing off the cracking walls around you. Once you're calm again, you say, "Put that collar on me and we can see how far this goes."

He does just that, tightening the leather about your throat, perhaps slightly tighter than you had set for him. You look up at him with one raised eyebrow, and he simply responds with a smirk. "There." He retracts his hands, leaning with a thumb to the button. "And now..."

The thing about your neck vibrates. It’s the barest touch of an electric shock stinging at your nerves. It's more the surprise of it that gets you, makes you flinch and squeak out a little, "Ah!" Your hands reach instinctively for your throat, fingers gently grazing the leather and its carvings. You shiver ever so slightly.

"And?" says Astarion after a pause, letting you catch your wits. "Thoughts?"

"Oh, it's delightful." You breathe, more joking than serious. You bat your lashes at him just as you had earlier and plead, "Another, master?"

He laughs as he leans an elbow on the window sill. He regards you lazily, looking you up and down. "That's a dangerous trick you've picked up there. I'm a little frightened."

"Aw, come on!" You laugh too, and strike some ridiculous pose. "I'm just a sweet little thing! Wouldn't hurt a fly!"

"Is that so?" He sets a cheek to his fist as he stares you down. "If that's the case, give me another. Beg like the cheeky little pup you are."

He's only joking-- or, at least, you think he's joking, considering the fun you two are having. But the words, coupled with the natural husk of his tone, send a buzz through you that is definitely not from the collar. It snakes through your system, striking like lightning between your hips. The physical reaction you show is subdued, but it's enough. He grins widely once he realizes.

"Oh! So it's like that, then!" He chirps, positively delighted by the discovery.

"Wait!" You show your palms in mercy. Your cheeks are burning. "Sorry, I didn't think--! I mean, I didn't mean to--!"

"It's quite alright, sweetheart." He assures you. "We can't always help what turns us on." Astarion gives his shoulders a little shake, settling into his seat by the window. "Speaking of, I'd love to hear you beg again."

Well, now you're embarrassed. Before it was all fun and games, but it got a little too real a little too fast. He's got you squirming.

"Come now," he whines, but there's a bit of playfulness returning to his voice that makes you perk up. "Just one more? For me?" It's his turn to bat his lashes at you, and the sight makes you giggle. "Make it a good one. Make it count."

He knows just how to butter you up, making you smile and only slightly forget the heat pooling between your thighs. You know giving in to his demand is only going to make it worse, but you can't resist playing with him. Oh well, you think. You're here for a good time, not a long time!

You curl your fingers, wrists going limp and becoming feigned paws. Already he's laughing as you bring them to your chin. You're happy to further break the tension, but most of all, it pleases you to make him smile. To hear him laugh. All of it, in the end, is worth it just for that alone.

"Please, master? Make me feel good again."

You swear you can see just the faintest dusting of pink on his pale cheeks. You chew at your lip to suppress a chuckle. Still, that look he's giving you isn't one of shame. He's loving the little show you're putting on for him.

"Very good." He praises, and then presses the button.

The vibration is nothing but a tickle, yet the sensation that jolts down your spine is enough to give you a full-body shiver. It makes the both of you laugh.

"Alright, enough fun." You say, working to remove the collar from your neck.

"Boo." Is all he says, but stands up in agreement.

You place the collar down upon the old desk, giving it a light tap as you leave it there. Astarion and you head towards the stairs, and as you descend, you call out to tease your compatriots waiting somewhere down below: "You guys making out?!"