#wonder if they call this different in Switzerland because I would definitely have called them 'dossiers' rather than 'fiches'

[itzzzitzelll]

Get to know me

1. Name - itzel

2. Age - 21

3. City that you live in - I live in lisse in the Netherlands (next to keukenhof) when I live in Spain I live in Sevilla.

4. What do most people not know about you? - that I'm a med student 😆

5. What do most people know you for? -having a massive family and my flower shop

6. Hobbies - I am great at snow sports

7. What are your passions? - helping people

8. What do you search for in a significant other? - SOMEONE WHO DOESNT USE ME

7. What are you most proud of? - just living life and being happy

8. When was the last time you had a significant conversation with someone you love? - last month

9. Have you ever collected anything? What was it? - I collect wrist bands (like from festivals and clubs and carnivals and that stuff)

10. List 10 things off of your bucket list. - omg I don't actually know, I want to visit Switzerland.

11. What was the last thing you learned? - how to do an autopsy 😭

12. How many relationships have you been in? - ummm I think six?

13. Turn ons - just like her hands on me yk? And being kissed

14. Turn offs - when they want me to call them mummy or daddy 🫥

15. Favorite food - pasta

16. Favorite drink - I love chocolatey drinks, but ugh cocktails 🤤

17. What is the best birthday gift you have ever received? - I got a cat one year

18. Are you optimistic or pessimistic? - both depends on the situation

19. Do you sleep during class? - nope

20. What is the most expensive thing you own? -hmmm my car or my phone

21. What is the cheapest yet most useful thing you own? - literally like everything I own 😭

22. How many times a day on average do you check your phone? Quite often but at school it's not checked once

23. Text or call? - text, unless you get a good conversation started over call I'm so awkward

24. Opinion on long distance? - ohhh it's miserable, it happens to me alot but I don't like it.

25. What is your definition of success? - living your dream, creating something you've always wanted, not necessarily about money

26. Favorite song? - its currently 28 by zach Bryan

27. Favorite artist? Zach Bryan, Billie eilish, Noah kahan, (many more but they are top 3)

28. Celebrity crush/crushes? - women 😌, football players, actresses, all.

29. When was the last time you read for fun? -yesterday, I love reading

30. Favorite flower? - i'm biased but tulips, I absolutely love flowers, flowers are the way to my heart, all flowers I love

31. What is the best gift you could receive right now? - gosh I don't know, I love gift giving it's my love language, maybe just like chocolates even.

32. Any guilty pleasures? - chocolate...

33. What is one thing you would like to change about yourself? - I'm very trusting so maybe that, it can be good and bad.

34. What do you search for in a friend? - someone who can match you vibe, and understands you. (Same in a partner really)

35. How many times have you said “I love you” in the past month? - a lot! My family is very loving 😂

36. Where did you last go other than your room/home? - I went to a festival last night.

37. Why do bad things happen to good people? - I always wonder this, and honestly I don't know because I know soooo many amazing people that have had such bad things happen to them. I'm very spiritual though so I do think it has to do with your past life as well as your "contract" for this life, you've given yourself challenges for this life to see if you learn from past mistakes in different lives.

38. In your opinion, what hurts more? Being left out or being stabbed in the eye? - eye, no questions asked, don't touch my eye, yuck.

39. How many green shirts do you own? - I actually don't own that many, it's my favourite colour but I look better in blue 😂

40. Do you like anime? - nooooo that's something I hate with a passion, sorry not sorry

41. What do you invest the most time in? - family, animals, flowers, studying, food.

42. What was the name of the last book you read? - I read war books, I think it was called night by elie wiesel (good book)

43. What’s the difference between loving and liking someone? - this is hard to explain, but you just know.

44. Where are you most productive? - I'm so lost on this question 😭 clearly not practicing my English lately

45. List 3 things you enjoy doing with friends. - cooking, movie watching, most of all adventuring.

46. List 3 things you enjoy doing alone. - baking, cudling with my pet cat and duck, something explicit.... 😭

47. Do you believe world peace will ever exist? - no people are too greedy and selfish, they want power, money and land. Plus we've definitely proven that people will turn against each other simply because the government tells them too, little sheep.

48. Do you have any allergies? - no

49. When was the last time you cussed at someone? - 5 minutes ago 😭 I cuss alot

50. What was the last promise you made? - something about baking for my little brother

51. What was your last dream about? - female football players.

52. If you won a trip to Hawaii and you could take 5 people with you, who would those 5 people be? - ahh I have to many family, maybe my grandparents or parents and then a few siblings, they'd all hate me after though

53. How many countries have you visited? - many many many I travel alot, maybe around 15- 20

54. What is your favorite medium of art? (Music, dance, painting, etc.) - Music

56. When was the last time somebody complimented you? - today 🥹

56. If you switched bodies with someone, how would you recognize yourself? - personality

57. Do you consider yourself mature? - yes, well mostly, I have a one track mind but I am mature

58. How many days in your life do you think you have wasted on tumblr? - too many 🙄

59. What is your favorite quote? - you treat a disease, you win you lose. you treat a person, I guarantee you you'll win, no matter the outcome. - patch Adams. And also; you never realise how strong you are until being strong is your only choice. -unknown

60. If you started a new religion and you had to create 3 rules or commandments for your new followers to live by, what would those 3 rules be? - being kind is the least you can do, it's free and it doesn't hurt you. It's not a sin any more, you can love who you want and not be ashamed. We can all have opinions and not be judged, whether we are right or wrong, we can still have a say.

61. What is your greatest accomplishment? - omg I've been waiting for this, I helped deliver my friends baby in a shop full of soaps and body wash..... what a day.

62. Do you believe in the death penalty? -yes

63. What are your goals for life? - be happy, help others, live life because I know it doesn't last long

64. What do you think your soulmate is doing right now? - thinking about me 💅. No umm maybe sleeping?.

65. If you could live anywhere, where would you live? The place can be in an imaginary, fantasy, or the real world. - I love where I live right now actually, it was always my dream as a kid.

66. What were you like in 2013? - God probably a little brat.

67. Do you have a job? - yes, I work at a flower/book/cafe shop thing. And I'm a student.

68. Tell us a story about your childhood best friend. - well it does explain a lot, we both liked the same boy (we were 5) and we said that all three of us would live together and me and her would be wives too..... yup just kick out the guy please and thanks.

69. If you could change one thing about society, what would it be? - the false sense of security that we all have. 🙄

70. How many all-nighters have you pulled before? - it's called Dutch partying

71. Is tumblr your favorite website? If not, then what is your favorite website? - yes, people get me here.

72. What is the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars? - do something with a Guy, for a million dollars I think I would.

73. Does money equal happiness? - no

74. How many times have you experienced true happiness in your lifetime? - a few, those handfuls of times were the best and ill forever remember those.

75. How many times have you experienced true sadness in your lifetime? - not much very little but it hurt bad.

76. What is the funniest joke you have ever been told? - they are so racist I can't share 😭, I promise I'm a good person, it's called having a dad.

77. When was the last time you looked at the news? - I hate the news, I literally don't know.

78. If you could say one thing to the world, what would you say? - I honestly don't know, I need to think about that.

79. What is your favorite animal? - snow leapords and monkeys and cats

80. If you could earn a million dollars by pretending to be dead for 3 years, would you do it? - no, I could make way more that 1 million if I tried, why play dead for less then you could create while having fun living.

81. What is one thing that everyone is bad at? - accepting people

82. What time do you normally sleep? How many hours of sleep do you usually get? - like around 11pm on a normal night and I'll sleep like 7-8 hours depending on the next day

83. Does age necessarily equal maturity? - no way

84. What is your favorite clothing store? - cheap ones, my sister designs and makes clothes so I get a lot of her "unwanted" stuff, (I'm also her little model thing)

85. In the winter- beanies or gloves? -beanies

86. Would you rather have wings or a fish tail? - wings

87. If you had the power to erase one person from the world so that nobody remembered him or her except you, would you do it? -no

88. What do you fear the most? - the dark 😭

89. How many digits of pi can you recite? - literally none

90. If you could travel back to one year and relive it again, which year would it be? - I think I'd go way back into the past, not sure when buy it wouldn't be one that I have lived myslef

91. Describe yourself in one word. - loving

92. Describe your last victory. - what??

93. What is the weirdest thing you have ever seen? - I have 15 siblings, I've seen some weird stuff man

94. What is something you will never forget? - some of the things my nurses had done when. I was a kid

95. Would you rather forget all of the past or remember everything in vivid detail? - vivid detail

96. Have you ever broken a bone before? -twice

97. Is it harder to love or to hate somebody? - it depends, is it a forced love or forced hate? Then probably love

98. Coffee or tea? - COFFEE ALL THE WAY

99. What are some little things that you do that have changed your life in a positive way? - just enjoy the little things, like just inspect a fork every now and then and be like wow, isn't life so incredible, go outside and think imagine creating all of this, life is so beautiful.

100. How many hours have you spend on tumblr today? - two so far?

Thank you for this 🥺, so cute

Get to know me

1. Name

2. Age

3. City that you live in

4. What do most people not know about you?

5. What do most people know you for?

6. Hobbies

7. What are your passions?

8. What do you search for in a significant other?

7. What are you most proud of?

8. When was the last time you had a significant conversation with someone you love?

9. Have you ever collected anything? What was it?

10. List 10 things off of your bucket list.

11. What was the last thing you learned?

12. How many relationships have you been in?

13. Turn ons

14. Turn offs

15. Favorite food

16. Favorite drink

17. What is the best birthday gift you have ever received?

18. Are you optimistic or pessimistic?

19. Do you sleep during class?

20. What is the most expensive thing you own?

21. What is the cheapest yet most useful thing you own?

22. How many times a day on average do you check your phone?

23. Text or call?

24. Opinion on long distance?

25. What is your definition of success?

26. Favorite song?

27. Favorite artist?

28. Celebrity crush/crushes?

29. When was the last time you read for fun?

30. Favorite flower?

31. What is the best gift you could receive right now?

32. Any guilty pleasures?

33. What is one thing you would like to change about yourself?

34. What do you search for in a friend?

35. How many times have you said “I love you” in the past month?

36. Where did you last go other than your room/home?

37. Why do bad things happen to good people?

38. In your opinion, what hurts more? Being left out or being stabbed in the eye?

39. How many green shirts do you own?

40. Do you like anime?

41. What do you invest the most time in?

42. What was the name of the last book you read?

43. What’s the difference between loving and liking someone?

44. Where are you most productive?

45. List 3 things you enjoy doing with friends.

46. List 3 things you enjoy doing alone.

47. Do you believe world peace will ever exist?

48. Do you have any allergies?

49. When was the last time you cussed at someone?

50. What was the last promise you made?

51. What was your last dream about?

52. If you won a trip to Hawaii and you could take 5 people with you, who would those 5 people be?

53. How many countries have you visited?

54. What is your favorite medium of art? (Music, dance, painting, etc.)

56. When was the last time somebody complimented you?

56. If you switched bodies with someone, how would you recognize yourself?

57. Do you consider yourself mature?

58. How many days in your life do you think you have wasted on tumblr?

59. What is your favorite quote?

60. If you started a new religion and you had to create 3 rules or commandments for your new followers to live by, what would those 3 rules be?

61. What is your greatest accomplishment?

62. Do you believe in the death penalty?

63. What are your goals for life?

64. What do you think your soulmate is doing right now?

65. If you could live anywhere, where would you live? The place can be in an imaginary, fantasy, or the real world.

66. What were you like in 2013?

67. Do you have a job?

68. Tell us a story about your childhood best friend.

69. If you could change one thing about society, what would it be?

70. How many all-nighters have you pulled before?

71. Is tumblr your favorite website? If not, then what is your favorite website?

72. What is the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars?

73. Does money equal happiness?

74. How many times have you experienced true happiness in your lifetime?

75. How many times have you experienced true sadness in your lifetime?

76. What is the funniest joke you have ever been told?

77. When was the last time you looked at the news?

78. If you could say one thing to the world, what would you say?

79. What is your favorite animal?

80. If you could earn a million dollars by pretending to be dead for 3 years, would you do it?

81. What is one thing that everyone is bad at?

82. What time do you normally sleep? How many hours of sleep do you usually get?

83. Does age necessarily equal maturity?

84. What is your favorite clothing store?

85. In the winter- beanies or gloves?

86. Would you rather have wings or a fish tail?

87. If you had the power to erase one person from the world so that nobody remembered him or her except you, would you do it?

88. What do you fear the most?

89. How many digits of pi can you recite?

90. If you could travel back to one year and relive it again, which year would it be?

91. Describe yourself in one word.

92. Describe your last victory.

93. What is the weirdest thing you have ever seen?

94. What is something you will never forget?

95. Would you rather forget all of the past or remember everything in vivid detail?

96. Have you ever broken a bone before?

97. Is it harder to love or to hate somebody?

98. Coffee or tea?

99. What are some little things that you do that have changed your life in a positive way?

100. How many hours have you spend on tumblr today?

[cryingoverafictionalcharacter]

Why are you here?

Prompt: Peter and Y/n cannot stand each other, they’re both childish, hard headed, and determined to win whatever weird completion they're always in. They can hardly handle being in the same room as the other, so what happens when they have to go on a mission together?

Warnings: Swearing, Enemies to Lovers, Fluffy as FUCK (Both Peter and Reader are out of high school at this point and endgame never happened)

A/N: “So they hated each other... but then... there was only one bed!” I know this trope is so over used but I love it so fucking much, it never ceases to amaze. So here ya go, hope you enjoy! 

“Peter fucking Parker!” I screamed through the compound, probably waking some of the other avengers since it was still early in the morning, but at this point, I didn’t care, this was too fucking far.

“Yes?” Peter asked, leaning in my doorway, looking at me innocently, a smile tugging at his lips.

“Care to explain?” I asked, motioning to my ceiling, and the numerous items of clothing, bags, personal items, and of course my entire fucking dresser that were webbed in place above me.

“Huh...” He looked at the ceiling, feigning a look of curiosity. “Wonder who could have done that?” 

“Who could’ve-  you’re the only fucking person who can shoot webs out of your hands!” I yelled. Usually when he pulled little pranks like this, I would just roll my eyes and move on, but today was different. I had just gotten back from a two day mission, having not slept the entire time, and was already irritated when I got back. He knew this. He was trying to piss me off, and by the way he was fighting to smile, he knew he was succeeding.

“Aww what's wrong y/n, one little mission too hard for you? Got you all frustrated?” He said in a mocking voice and that was it, I ran at him.

He sprinted out of my room and down the hall, me close on his heels before he turned quickly and webbed my feet to the floor, causing me to fall hard, knocking the wind out of me slightly. He stopped and smiled, which then immediately turned to a look of shock as one of my knives flew past his head and stopped, landing in the wall directly behind him, only inches from his head. I wasn’t going to kill him obviously, I just wanted to send a message.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Peter yelled at me.

“What's wrong with me! What's wrong with you, You almost broke my face!” I yelled back.

“You could have killed me” Peter retaliated.

“Believe me Peter, If I wanted to kill you, you’d be dead all ready.” I said, adjusting myself so I was now in a sitting position with my feet in front of me, making getting to work at cutting the webbing at my feet.

“Why you little-”

“What the hell is going on out here?! Why is there a knife in my wall!” Tony suddenly yelled, coming around the corner and taking in the scene in front of him.

“Y/n threw a fucking knife at me!” 

“He tried to brake my face!”

“Only because I was stopping you from chasing me”

“I was only chasing you because you flipped my whole room upside down!”

The bickering went on for a few more second, Tony pinching the bridge of his nose before raising both of his hands and shouting.

“That's enough!” Peter and I both stopped dead in our tracks, our stomachs dropping to the floor at the thought of the punishment that was to come. 

“You two are too old to be acting like this, I’m fucking sick of it.” He said, taking a moment, and Idea coming to his mind “I have a two day mission coming up, I was just going to send one of you, but now you’re both going” Tony said, crossing his arms and looking at the both of us.

“But they-” Peter started, but Tony raised a hand cutting him off.

“I don't want to hear it! In fact, if you two aren't the best of friends by the time you get back, you’re both grounded for... two months!”

“You can’t ground us we aren't children” I said said.

“Then stop acting like it! Otherwise you’re both facing the consequences, got it!” Tony finished, waiting for our reactions. We nodded quietly, not wanting to make the situation worse.

“Good, now Peter, go fix whatever the fuck you did to Y/Ns room, and Y/N get this knife out of my wall!” Tony said, walking back down the hallway muttering to himself.

“Nice going y/n” Peter said sarcastically.

“Shut the fuck up” I retaliated. This was going to be a long, long two days.

The next day we were dropped of by the Quin Jet in Switzerland. Our mission was to get information about a possible underground terrorist group living in the woods that wanted to overtake a nearby city. There was a cabin set up about a 2 miles from the supposed terror base, and a three hour walk from where we were dropped.

We made it about half an hour before the bickering started.

“Will you catch up? I want to get there before nightfall and we freeze to death” Peter jabbed, causing me to glare at the back of his head.

“Well in case you didn’t notice, were in the middle of fucking nowhere, where people could come out and kill us at any point, so sorry I’m not stomping through the trees like some sort of idiot” I shot back.

“Would you shut up?” Peter said, turning to look at me for a second, before continuing on the trail.

“Would you stop being a dick?” I asked.

“God, why are you even here?” Peter muttered, just loud enough for me to hear.

“I’m sorry what?” I asked

“Why are you even here?” Peter said, turning to face me, stopping me in my tracks. “You don’t have super strength, or healing abilities or anything like that. You’re just some random person who can throw a punch. There's nothing special about you, so why are you here? Why did they choose you?” Peter said, anger in his voice. I stared at him, a shocked expression on my face before he suddenly turned and stormed off on the trail. Leaving me behind, frozen on the trail.

Three hours later, and I was arriving to the cabin. It was exactly where Tony said it would be, a few miles off the trail, hidden in a grove of trees. 

The past few hours I had been walking alone, thinking about what Peter said. I had a past that trained me to be the way that I was. I had been raised to be a weapon. But then again, so was Natalie, but she had a better connection with the other Avengers than I did. Sure I was new, but It was still hard to find a sense of belonging among them. They were all warriors, the best, the strongest, the smartest there was. And then there was me. Why me?

As I approached the cabin, I could see its full state. It was tiny, with boarded up windows and a deck that looked like it could collapse at any minute. I could see a bit of light escaping the closed off window, and assumed Peter was already setting up a fire, seeing it was starting to get dark out and the temperature had dropped significantly.

I opened the door and looked around. It was a large open room, with a separate restroom in the back corner. There was a wood burning stove, some logs piled in the corner, and a single bed. Great.

As I walked in, I noticed Peter sitting in front of the stove, poking the embers in the stove with an iron rod. His head snapped up to see me as I walked in. He had this expression on his face, his mouth open like he was going to do something, but as quickly as I noticed the expression, It was gone, and he was back to poking the flames in the stove.

I was a little disappointed. What he had said in the woods was hurtful to say the least, and I was hoping for at least an apology, but I guess he was to pre-occupied to notice that what he said literally tore my heart in two.

When I first started with the Avengers, Peter and I got along really well, then I started going on more missions, and something changed. We grew apart, and then we were bickering, and then we somehow started hating each other. Well, he hated me. I didn’t know what I felt anymore. I really liked him when we first met, one would even go as far to calling it a crush, and even after all the hurtful things we’ve said to each other, I can’t seem to let those feelings die.

I let my eyes linger on him for a bit before turning away and walking towards the bed, before suddenly thinking better of it and walking to the wall opposite of the bed, putting down my pack and grabbing a blanket from a closet in the back, laying it on the ground.

“What are you doing?” Peter asked suddenly. His voice was softer than it was before, like he was talking to... well anyone but me.

“What does it look like?” I snapped, not wanting to show the emotions I was still definitely feeling from his statement in the woods. Anger, heartbreak, pain, all rushing through my body. But I have been trained for this. Trained to not show my emotion. To act like everything was normal.

“It looks like your trying to sleep on the floor when there’s a perfectly good bed that we can use.” He said, a little more sharpness to his voice, but still not as much as usually when we talked to each other. Was he ok? Did he get hurt or something?”

I turned to face him, to be met with his eyes already looking at me. He didn’t look hurt, or sick, but he looked different. I pushed the thought to the back of my mind, not wanting him to see what I was feeling.

“No offence, but I don’t like sharing a bed with insects” I jabbed, and then his face was back to how I know it to look while he’s around me. Stubborn, hard, angry.

“Fine take the floor, see if I fucking care” He said, turning back to trying to keep the fire going. It felt weird. Usually we would be angry with each other for a minute, and move on, but this, what I was feeling, it was different. I would never be able to forget what he said to me. I was confident that whatever chance we had at maybe re-kindling our friendship was long gone.

A few hours later and I was wearing all the layers I had, with a blanket wrapped around me and I was still shivering. The fire had gone out not to long ago, running out of wood early on, and the cold took no time to crawl its way inside, completely swallowing any sort of evidence that the cabin was once warm.

“I can hear you shivering from all the way over here, just come use the bed” Peter said, sitting up to look at me from the other side of the room. His special abilities were able to keep him warm in these sorts of situations, allowing him to be comfortable in just a t-shirt and shorts. I however, wasn’t as lucky.

“I’m fine” I tried to say venomously, but the shattering of my teeth made the statement come out much weaker than I would have liked.

“Y/n, you aren't going to get any warmer and if you don’t get rest you’re going to be off your game tomorrow and then were both fucked. So please, just come get in the bed” Peter said, that same softness in his voice from earlier. 

He was right though. There was absolutely no way I was getting any warmer, and its pretty much impossible to fall asleep in this cold. So, reluctantly, I got up and walked to the opposite side of the bed from peter, pulled back the covers and got in. It was warmer, but not by much, Peter too far away to really supply any body heat, so I closed my eyes, and focused as hard as I could to fall asleep.

“You know” Peter said after a moment, a hint of humor in his voice “You’d probably get warmer faster if you took you clothes off”

“Fuck this” I said, going to get up “Jokes on me for thinking you could be fucking decent for a few hours” I turned to leave, I had just put my foot on the floor when peters had suddenly grabbed my wrist, keeping me from moving. Jesus his hands are so warm.

“Ok, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you mad” He said. Was that sincerity in his voice? What the fuck was happening? “But its also true, you don’t need to take off much, but the more skin to skin contact the faster you’ll get warm”

I don’t know what it was. Whether it was the way his voice made me feel like he actually wanted to help me, or the fact that his hand was so warm it made me want to cry to have to go back to the cold floor. Whatever it was, it was convincing, because I soon stripped down to just my T-shirt and underwear and was back in the bed, scooting as close as I could to Peter without actually touching him, facing away from him.

I was only there for a few seconds before I felt Peter shift behind me, wrapping his arm around my torso and bringing me closer so my back was pressed against his chest. I thought about protesting, but he was so warm I genuinely couldn’t care less that this was the closest we had ever been.

“Jesus you’re cold” Peter said as soon as I was touching him.

“Wow, how observant” I said sarcastically, but there was a softness to my voice as his body heat took over mine, warming me up almost immediately and causing my shivering to stop.

We laid like that for a minute. I could tell Peter was still awake from his breathing, and I couldn’t bring myself to close my eyes. As crazy and unfortunate this whole situation was, I didn’t want to wake up and have it all be a dream. I missed this boy. Not the guy who constantly teased and made fun of me, but the boy who wanted to make sure I was ok. Who was my friend. Who I almost loved.

“I’m sorry” Peter said after a while, causing me to jump a bit, surprised my the sound of his voice so close to me.

“What for?” I asked, not entirely sure where he was going with this.

“For what I said in the woods. It was so fucked up, and I didn’t mean a word of it. I’m... The team is so lucky to have you. You’ve helped so many people Y/n, you’re not a nobody” Peter said quietly, almost like he was whispering. There was another moment of silence as I tried to contain the tears that suddenly filled my eyes.

“Why do you hate me so much?” I asked, causing Peter to tense for a moment behind me. I turned to face him, trying to read his face in the little amount of light that filled the cabin. He looked... sad.

“I don’t hate you y/n” Peter said quietly, almost too quiet for me to hear. “When we first met, you were the coolest person I had ever met. You were strong and talented and so fucking funny and I was so happy to have you as a friend”

“Then what happened” I asked, wanting to hear his reasoning for his actions the last year or so.

“You started going on more missions, and I got so worried every time you left. Terrified that each time before you left it would be the last time I saw you. I couldn’t eat, or sleep, or work, I just didn’t know what I would do if you got hurt” He said, tears were returning to my eyes and I didn’t bother to try and force them back this time. “I needed to put my job first, and I couldn’t do that when I was constantly worrying about if you were safe, or hurt, or if you... or if you even felt the same way about me. It was so selfish, and I’m so sorry Y/n I should have never-” His voice was shaking now, tears threatening to spill over, but I didn’t let him finish. I had heard enough. 

I closed the space between us and kissed him. I felt his breath catch, and for a second I thought I made a mistake, that he didn’t want this. I started to pull away but Peter stopped me, pulling me closer while his other hand went up to cup my face, mine moving to rest on his face as well.

We finally pulled away after a moment, catching our breath, before connecting our lips once again, this time with all the passion and ferocity I had been holding back all these years of wanting to kiss him, but never finding the courage. None of that mattered now, we were here, sharing the same feelings, and getting lost in each other.

Later the next day, The Quin Jet came to pick us up. Natalie was flying and Steve had come along to I guess provide some muscle if things got heated between me and Peter. He heard about the knife incident. But to both of their surprise, we were completely civil, even friendly, sitting across from each other of the flight back home, giving secret glances to each other the entire ride back, which did not go un-noticed by Nat.

We got back to the compound and debriefed, having enough information to get a head start on an attack plan against the terror group. Peter and I didn’t yell, argue, or even look at each other in a certain way the entire talk, causing Tony to raise an eyebrow, but he didn’t say anything.

Finally, we were released, allowed to go shower and get some grub before bed. Peter and I were walking side by side down the hall, and as soon as we were out of sight, Peter pulled me down one of the adjacent hallways and pushed me against the wall, causing me to laugh.

“Do you think they suspected anything?” Peter asked, a huge smile on his face.

“That we suddenly aren't trying to kill each other every two seconds? Nah” I said semi sarcastically, making us both to laugh before Peter ducked his head to connect his lips to mine, my arms moving to rest around his shoulders, deepening the kiss. The kiss was just starting to get a little deeper, Peters hand moving up my back underneath the fabric of my shirt, when suddenly-

“What the fuck?” Tony yelled, causing Peter and I to jump apart, refusing to look each other in the eyes, or at Tony. “How long has this been going on?”

Suddenly both Nat and Steve walked by, seeing the state Peter and I were both in.

“Oh yeah, that just started” Nat said Casually, causing Tony's eyes to basically fall out of his head.

“You knew? Any you didn’t tell me?” Tony basically shrieked, still not able to comprehend what he had just seen, especially since I threw a knife at Peters head not even two full days ago.

“Yeah, we’ve had a bet going on for a while, You owe me twenty bucks by the way” Nat said, looking at Steve who groaned, digging through his pockets to find his wallet, paying up to Nat.

“You couldn't have waited like, two more weeks?” Steve asked, now looking at Peter and I, now starting to laugh at how weird the whole situation was.

“I cannot believe this” Tony said, looking at Peter and I, then to Nat and Steve “We need to have a talk about what kind of information needs to be shared around the base, because I should not be finding out like this” Tony finished, walking off in the other direction, not being able to handle this conversation anymore.

“Congratulations!” Nat said, before walking in the other direction with Steve,

“Well, guess they knew” Peter said, and then we were both keeled over laughing.

After a moment, we were finally able to catch our breath and look at eachother.

“I thought we killed Tony for a second” I laughed, wiping the tears in my eyes,

“Oh believe me, I saw his soul leave his body for a second” Peter replied, also finding his composure before walking back towards me, grabbing both of my hands and looking down to me.

“Anyway” He said, leaning in a bit “Before we were rudely interrupted”

“Ah the young people are together!” Thor suddenly bellowed from next to us, causing us both to jump again. “Congratulations to you both!” He said, before walking down the hall, leaving us alone again.

“Your room?” I asked

“My room” He agreed, grabbing my hand before running down the hall, causing me to laugh.

_______________________________________________________________

[lochrannn]

AU-gust: Mama, didn’t mean to make you cry

Read on AO3

prompt no 11: Summer Camp

Characters: Lila Pitt, Diego Hargreeves, Number Five Hargreeves

Relationship: Lila Pitts/Diego Hargreeves

-

Diego has asked her twice whether she’d like to help out with the summer holiday programme that he’s set up at his gym for inner city kids whose parents haven’t got the means or availability to send them off to camp, but Lila just waffled a half-answer that boiled down to “no thanks” and he hasn’t asked her again.

It’s not like she doesn’t support the idea. She supposes it’s a nice thing to do for the kids. Diego’s definitely thriving and she’ll usually actively support anything that’ll make him happy, but he’s enjoying himself with or without her participation and when it boils down to it, Lila really doesn’t need to spend her days hanging out with a bunch of snivelling children full of tragic backstories. She’s got plenty of that herself, thank you very much.

That may not have been how she put it to Diego. Maybe the fact that she very quickly started ranting about snot-nosed brats is the reason why he hasn’t brought it up again.

Until today that is.

“Hey Lila,” Diego calls from the kitchen as she’s in the process of brushing her teeth, “can I ask for a favor?”

Lila walks out of the bathroom, mouth full of toothpaste and scrubbing away to find Diego at the kitchen table tinkering with a torch.

“Wha’ ‘ooh you nee’?” Lila asks, finding it a bit hard to articulate around the foam, but she’s sure Diego got the message.

“I… uh… I’m running a little late and I kinda need Five’s van,” he says, not looking up at her, instead concentrating on connecting two very thin looking wires, “He said I could pick it up this morning but I’ve got to get to the gym and won’t have time to swing by the Academy first.”

Then he does take his eyes off his work and instead turns them on her, big and round and shiny, the puppy dog eyes that she personally believes are an unfair tactic in any conversation and asks, “You’re not doing anything this morning, right? You wouldn’t… you know…?” he trails off, apparently hoping that he doesn’t actually have to ask, that she’ll just fill in the rest for herself.

Lila goes over to the kitchen sink to rinse her mouth out and get rid of the toothpaste and once she’s satisfied that she will be able to talk properly again she asks, brandishing her toothbrush a little menacingly at him, “So you’re asking me, on my day off, to take the bus over to the Academy, so I can get the van that your murdering, geriatric brother who walks around in a child’s body, stole off some unsuspecting handyman, even though you could all afford to buy a fucking van, and then bring it to you and what? Get the bus back home after?”

“Uh… yeah?” Diego says a bit dumbly, then rallies and offers, “I’ll make you pancakes this evening!” and when she’s still staring him down he adds, “and I’ll give you a foot rub!”

“That’s not a fair offer, Diego, those are things you like!” Lila says indignantly.

“Yeah, but so do you!” Diego shoots back with an almost sly smirk.

“Urgh!” She throws her hands up in the air, “Fine!”

When Diego gets up and wraps his arms around her, she only resists for a moment on principle and then lets him press his lips against her temple. “Thanks babe!”

-

“Helloooooo?!” Lila calls out as she’s walking into the big entrance hall of the Umbrella Academy mansion.

She doesn’t actually have a key, but she doesn’t need one as nobody ever bothers locking the door. Anyone who might be even a remote threat to the Academy would easily get in whether the door was locked or not.

Her voice echoes in the hall but nobody answers, so she heads to the back stairs to make her way down to the kitchen.

When she gets there she finds both the man she was looking for and also her least favourite Hargreeves sitting at the kitchen table with the newspaper and a cup of coffee.

“Mh, where are the others?” she asks without any real greeting.

“Lila, always a pleasure!” Five’s response is dripping with sarcasm.

“Yeah, fuck you too!” she shoots back. “So where are the ape man and ghost boy?”

“They’ve gone to help our stabbiest brother with his little community engagement project,” Five answers with a bit of a huff, turning a page of his paper and then giving it a straightening shake.

“Why aren’t you with them?” Lila asks, genuinely curious now.

“I don’t particularly like children.”

Lila nods almost sympathetically.

“And they usually seem to think I’m one of them, which makes me want to chew off my own foot.”

“You are one of them, though, pipsqueak!” Lila says, ruffling his hair on the way to the coffee pot to pour herself a cup. It’s a testament to how far they’ve come that all he does is swat at her but doesn’t try and impale her hand with a fork.

“Also, why am I picking the van up if one of you three stooges could have brought it over just as easily?” She’s suddenly filled with indignation.

“Klaus and Luther were already gone when Diego rang and I’m waiting for an important call from Switzerland,” Five says a bit primly and Lila has to stop herself from rolling her eyes.

“Oh, the CERN thing… And? Will we be sucked into a black hole or do you think that’s another apocalypse you can best?” Lila asks, not actually too concerned. Once you’ve dealt with enough doomsday scenarios, you become a bit desensitised.

Five shrugs. “Time will tell.”

“Right!” That’s enough playing nice with Five for one day, one of the reasons they do get on in a way is because they make sure to interact in bite sized increments, “Where are the keys, then?”

-

As Lila climbs out of the van she wonders how best to get the keys to Diego with the least amount of interaction with any of the screeching children on the premises.

For a moment she even considered just leaving the key in the ignition and wandering off, but she thinks Diego would throw a hissy fit. God forbid a car thief might take an interest in their stolen van.

As she comes around the side of the building she can already hear the absolute racket the group of children inside are making and a genuine shiver of apprehension runs down her spine.

But then a closer noise draws her attention and when she takes a look behind the dumpster she regrets having followed her instincts because cowering in the corner is a small child with long, dark, wavy hair that is sobbing uncontrollably.

For a second she thinks she might just hurry inside to let one of the adults know there’s a kid on her own out here, but even to her that doesn’t quite feel right, so she calls out softly, “Uh… little girl… I don’t think you should be out here.”

The girl spins around in shock and her huge, watery, brown eyes fix on Lila, almost like she’s a little bit afraid.

Then she sniffs loudly, Lila tries not to wince at the sound, and says with determination, “I’m not going back in!”

“Yeah? Why’s that?” Lila asks, approaching the child but also looking around for anyone more qualified to deal with the situation.

“Because Brad’s a dick!” she shouts as if Lila should have guessed that.

Lila has to suppress the urge to laugh at the foul language coming out of such a tiny little person, instead she says, “I don’t think you’re supposed to use words like that.”

The girl scowls at her, so Lila tries a different tactic. “What did he do?” she asks while crouching down next to the girl, who doesn’t seem to be too scared of her now.

“Don’t wanna talk about it.” the girl mumbles petulantly.

“Okay…” Lila feels entirely in over her head, but so far she hasn’t had the urge to strangle this kid, so maybe she can make it through a conversation with her.

“What’s your name?” she asks.

“Niha,” the girl answers, “What’s yours?”

“Lila,” Lila offers.

“Oh cool! You’re Lila! Coach Diego talks about you all the time!” There’s genuine excitement in the girl’s expression now and LIla is completely taken aback.

“He does?!” she asks, her voice maybe just a bit shrill.

“Yeah! He says you’re one of the best fighters he knows and that it doesn’t matter that you’re a girl, that you put him on his ass all the time in training. See, Coach Diego uses bad language as well!” Niha says triumphantly, as if she’s just won some kind of argument.

“Yeah, I bet he does.” Lila is quite baffled at the glimpse she’s getting of Diego’s summer camp.

“Do you really not want to talk about what Brad did?” she then asks with as gentle a voice as possible, hoping to change the subject, as she suddenly feels a bit awkward about the idea that all of these children apparently know about her.

Niha huffs and caves in on herself again.

“He said I was dirt poor because I didn’t bring any snacks from home.” She sniffs and then blubbers on, “But that’s not even the truth, my mom just didn’t buy any for me. She doesn’t really care that much, I don’t think she really loves me!” And then the girl starts sobbing again and Lila has no idea what to do.

That’s not quite true. She knows what she’s supposed to say. She’s supposed to say ‘of course you’re mummy loves you, she probably just forgot’, but who the hell is she to tell anyone that their mum loves them?

So instead she puts her hand on the small girl's back and rubs it gently, then says, “Hey Niha, you know what? In a few years’ time you’ll be able to get a job and earn your own money and buy all the snacks you want!”

“I’m only eight!” Niha says with a bit of confusion and a bit of indignation and Lila has to admit maybe that wasn’t the best argument.

“Okay, look, I’ll buy you some snacks, okay? And Diego can bring them in for you tomorrow, how does that sound?”

“But he brings us snacks anyway!” The girl looks at her like she’s a bit of an idiot and right now Lila feels almost inclined to agree.

“But these’ll be special snacks, you little knowitall, just for you from me, alright?” Lila explains, trying to keep the exasperation out of her voice.

Niha’s eyes start shining brightly again, filling with more unshed tears and Lila hopes she’s not going to start crying again because she doesn’t think her brittle heart can take any more of that, but then something else seems to occur to the girl and she asks, nosily, “Are you Coach Diego’s wife?”

“Uhm!” Lila just makes a noise in panic and is luckily saved by the clanging sound of the metal door to the gym.

“Yo Niha, what are you doing out here? Oh, hey Lila!” Diego calls out with a surprised look on his face as he makes his way over.

Niha looks up at Lila, apparently hoping that she can explain the situation, but really, Lila is not too sure.

“Uh, she said she just needed some air, but she’s all better now, right?” Lila looks at the girl imploringly and she seems just as happy to go along with the lie.

“Well you’d better get back inside, then, we’re about to start an epic game of hide and seek!” Diego explains to the girl and it seems that was the best suggestion Niha has heard all day, because she jumps up to run over to the entrance. She just about manages to remember her manners when she calls out “Thanks!” to Lila before disappearing through the door.

Lila is still crouched on the floor, feeling a little overwhelmed.

“You okay?” Diego asks while she can hear him approach her. She doesn’t need to look at him to know that he’s frowning.

Lila just hums noncommittally, but doesn’t move. The thought of that little girl making her way through life without being sure of her mother’s love is slowly breaking her heart.

“What’s up?” Diego tries again, as he reaches her.

She still doesn’t answer and when a tear rolls down her cheek, she feels Diego’s hand wrap around her arm and he pulls her to her feet before enveloping her in a tight hug.

She wraps her arms around his waist, to squeeze against him even more tightly and presses her face into his chest, hoping she can hide the fact that she’s crying. If not from Diego, then at least from the rest of the world.

He doesn’t ask her about it, at this point he knows she won’t talk until she’s ready to, instead he just holds on to her, stroking her hair gently with one hand until she feels no more brimming tears and she pulls away.

He does keep his hand at the back of her head though as he stoops a little to look her straight in the eyes. “You good?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Lila says, a bit embarrassed about her sudden mild breakdown.

“You wanna come inside?” Diego asks with a soft smile that never fails to make something flutter in her chest and she feels at least a bit better.

“Nah, I’m good!” she says, voice more steady now.

“You sure?” Diego tries to make certain as he rights himself and lets his hand drop from her head to take her own with it instead.

“Yes, definitely,” Lila squeezes his hand to reassure him. “Don’t have the time, anyway. I’ve gotta go to the supermarket and buy some snacks!”

[themattgirl]

First Time Solo

This is the first one... give me feedback, please!

Warnings: a bit fluffy I guess

Word count: 1,611

Enjoy!!!🦋

Today was the day of Harry’s first concert as a solo artist. His girlfriend, Y/N wasn’t allowed to go with him and be there through the whole process to support him and help him to be less nervous. Management said, “She would only distract him and ruin it” or “It wouldn’t be a great idea to show Harry’s girlfriend off because of his young female fans.”

But they didn’t understand it, still don’t, because their relationship is not a secret anymore. They kept it to themselves at the beginning, yes. But now they walk around the city holding hands, kissing if they want to, not caring about cameras catching them.

They didn’t manage to talk the bosses into letting her at least watch him on the little TV in his dressing room, though. But Y/N reassured Harry that she’d be waiting and praying for him in their hotel room and that’s exactly what she does. Fortunately, one of the stylists is a very close friend of her and proposed to FaceTime Y/N during the show so she can see the performance, regardless of what the others allowed or didn’t.

“Don’t hang up yet, Harry must be here in a second!” the stylist tells her after they watched him go off of the stage. How could she ever say no to seeing Harry?

Y/N sits up on the bed, she has only now realised how uncomfortable the position she was in has been. Harry just blew her mind and made her forget everything else. He always does, but this time was different. This time he was alone. It was just the soothing sound of his voice going through the headphones into her ears and making its way straight to her heart, transferring her into a state of ecstasy she has never felt before except for when he kissed her for the very first time.

“Heyyy, superstar!” Y/N hears the stylist greeting someone. She stretches her neck in order to see if it’s the person she thinks it is, but of course she sees nothing. It’s not some sort of 3D FaceTime call, after all. Though, she swears she heard her boyfriend’s voice somewhere in the background, very distinct but it was there.

Y/N wonders why her friend asked her to stay on the phone if she was going to hold the camera so that all she sees are legs and the floor, anyway. But then the phone is being lifted up and Harry’s sweaty face appears. “Babe, I need you here!”

A big smile immediately takes over the place of the previous frown on her face when her eyes meet his through the display. She notices how sparkly they are, just like always when he is on a high.

“You definitely didn’t need me, you were amazing!” she tells him what she knows he needs to hear right now. She knows how insecure he always feels after a show. His self-criticism is always on the highest level, so high that he sometimes ends up hating everything about the performance - or whatever he was doing - and even stopped talking for a while because he was so mad at himself. Ever since they started dating and Y/N noticed this side of him, she always tries to prevent him from thinking too badly about himself, and she became pretty good at it with time.

“Thank you, lovie! But I really want to be with you right now. I wanna be in your arms and I wanna hear your soft voice telling me that I didn’t mess up! I miss you, Y/N!” Harry’s words in combination with his big doe-eyes make her heart melt right away. It’s only been a few hours since they last saw each other but she knows exactly what he means, she feels it too.

“You better hurry up to me then, before I fall asleep!”

Of course she will not fall asleep, she’s not even tired. But maybe this way he would quicken it up a little more, who knows?

“No, babe, don’t! Wait f’me, I’m on my way!” Not giving her the chance to speak he has already disappeared and Y/N is left with an image that moves way too fast for human eyes before the face of the owner of this phone takes over the display.

“You know, you two are a really cute couple,” she claims and makes Y/N blush a little.

“Thank you!”

After Y/N thanks her friend again for doing what she did for her they end the phone call.

***

Only twenty minutes later, Y/N hears the door of the hotel room being opened so she gets up and rushes to her boyfriend to wrap her arms around him and pull him as close to her body as possible. Harry places his hands on her bum so he can lift her up. She wraps her legs around his waist and he walks them to the bedroom. Only when she pulls away from him she notices that he is still wearing his outfit from the show.

“You haven’t changed yet?”

Harry looks down on himself, almost like he has forgotten it. “Was in a rush, y’know.”

Y/N giggles to herself and slides his black, glittery jacket down his arms to put it on the bed. “Go take a shower, baby! Then we can cuddle and talk, yeah?” she suggests and he just nods before he gives her a kiss and makes his way to the bathroom.

Usually, she’d go with him and rub the shower gel on his body but she’s already had her shower so all she can do now is taking out fresh underwear for him and wait for him to finish and come back. It doesn’t take as long as she thought it would, fortunately.

Soon enough, they are snuggled up in bed. Harry has his arms wrapped around her waist, his head is resting on her tummy while she massages his scalp.

“I’m really proud of you, my love! You did a fantastic job!” Y/N tells him and makes him smile.

“You liked it?” There’s a tone of uncertainty hiding in the back of his voice.

“I loved it, Harry! Everyone did, I’m sure. You took my breath away through the display, how about all the people who were there? I wonder if they’re still alive. You’ve always been great on stage, but this one was incredible. You were so entertaining, I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. You sounded... ugh, I don’t even know how to describe it. And on top of that, you even looked so hot. Like, you had no business looking that handsome making me jealous of all the women around you. This was just your first show, what’s about to come is gonna be huge! I can’t believe my boyfriend did that!” she showers him in compliments.

Harry’s cheeks are bright red by now, “Stop it!”

“I’m just telling the truth. Damn, you were brilliant, breathtaking!”

“Thanks but stop, please!”

Even though Harry is pretty much a narcissist sometimes, this situation makes him blush like never before. Y/N just makes him feel so good about himself. He knows exactly she has much more to say because she always pays attention to everything, everything. She has her eyes on every detail, that’s how his girl is. But he’s heard enough. He’s afraid he’ll melt if she keeps going.

“I’m not stopping until you say it yourself. Say you won Switzerland’s heart and the rest of the world is yet to follow! You-“

To keep her from talking any more he presses his lips on hers. “Okay, just stop!” he says in between kisses.

“Say it!” she mumbles into the kiss.

“I was good,” he says before he locks their lips again. But Y/N is not having it. She cups his face to separate their faces and glare at him, not needing to say a word for him to understand.

“Okay, I was very good!”

“You were amazing!” she corrects him and connects her lips with his again.

“I love you so much, Y/N! You won’t believe it but I literally felt that your presence was missing the whole time. I was so nervous, I needed my anchor but you weren’t there,” he sounds both, sad and angry at the same time.

Harry is now lying on his side, propping himself up with an elbow so he can look down at her.

“These fuckers didn’t let you be with me,” he adds to make sure she doesn’t think it’s her fault because he knows she’d find a way to blame herself.

“We’ll talk to them again. I promise, we will find a way! And even if it takes a few tries and you have to do it without me again, just know that I’m always with you, at heart! I love you, H!” she reassures him while he strokes her hair.

“I love you more!”

“Speaking of emotions, I saw you tearing up a bit during Sign Of The Times,” she teases him playfully.

“Don’t know what you’re talkin’ ‘bout,” he denies, his thicker accent giving away that he’s lying.

“Don’t act dumb, Bambi! It’s okay to cry, it’s an emotional song!”

“Yeh, yeh, whatever!”

“I saw something else too.” She pokes his lower stomach.

“And what’s that, lovie?” he wants to know.

“I saw the bulge in your trousers!” She let’s her hand wander even lower.

Harry’s eyes widen at first but not much later the corner of his lips curves up, his dimple makes an appearance. “Oh, did ya?”

“Mhm,” she smirks.

[seltzerstudies]

ten questions!

i was tagged by the lovely @rylie-studies!! thank you sm for tagging me!! ilysm! sorry this is so late, i’ve been trying to think of good answers to your wonderful questions!

Rules: Answer the questions, then tag ten people with ten other questions of your own.

#1: What are you looking forward to the most in the upcoming school (both high school and university level) year?

for the upcoming school year, i’m most looking forward to my environmental science class and the upcoming volleyball season. our school has needed to move around our schedule so a lot of things that i usually really love won’t be possible (in person scrim practices, hanging out in the spanish teacher’s room, etc.). i am really glad that sports w/ protective measures have been deemed safe enough. 

#2: If you could choose to live in any country in the world, which one would it be and why?

ooh this is such a tough one. i’ve always wanted to live abroad and i think i would really love to live in several different places throughout my life, but if i had to pick one, i think i would live in switzerland. my family and i went on an italy-switzerland summer trip a few years ago and while i loved staying in milan, the alpine scenery really called to me. 

#3: What’s a book that resonates with you the most and you’ll read it as many times as you possibly can?

i have two answers for this question actually! a book that resonates with me the most is The Traveling Cat Chronicles by Arikawa Hiro. i cried so much while reading it and it really affected me. a book i will read as many times as i can is Howl’s Moving Castle. i can travel to ingary a thousand times and each time i will find something new i hadn’t even noticed. the reason i have two answers is that when i read books that resonate with me, i don’t tend to read them over and over again; i usually prefer to keep those initial feelings i had untouched, especially because i remember plotlines pretty well. the books i read over and over again usually have sentimental value and while they probably won’t win any pulitzer prizes, they mean so much to me. 

#4: What do you usually do before you sleep at night?

honestly, i don’t really have much of a routine before sleeping. i try to take melatonin regularly as well as lysine supplements and drink water with both pills. reading is also important to me because it allows me to relax without needing too much light (i have some fairy lights on my headboard that have adjustable intensities!). i always make sure i set my alarm for the next day too!

#5: If you got the chance to converse with your ten year old self, what’s one thing that you would say to them?

you don’t have to have everything figured out yet. take your time and relish being a kid. you’ll figure things out. 

#6: If there weren’t any expectations or pressures given to you, what would you want your life to look like in the future? What job will you have? Where will you live?

no expectations and pressures, including my own? that’s the dream baby. as of right now, i think i would buy a little house in the middle of a clearing in the woods and grow a small garden that i’d use to run a little stand at the end of my driveway. for my job, i want to be financially stable and able to leave work at work without being too disinterested in my career. i also have a dog and two cats and a healthy relationship with myself.

#7: What’s a song that seems timeless to you and it always feels like you’re listening to it for the first time every time?

see the day by the altogether, lyrics by brian david gilbert

#8: What’s the first show that you can remember ever binge watching?

the first show i can remember actually committing to binge watching was brooklyn nine nine. i watched five seasons in about three weeks the summer after my freshman year of hs to cope with my boyfriend breaking up with me. that show was such a huge comfort to me at that time and i was so glad to have watched it then. 

#9: Did you watch Disney Channel when you were young? If so, what was your favorite show and why? Or, if you didn’t watch Disney Channel, what was your favorite show as a kid?

yeah i did! phineas and ferb was definitely one of my favorites just because each episode would be different, and there was always at least one storyline that was super compelling. i still have the perry the platypus tshirt my dad made me for christmas one year. 

#10: Choose a random line from your favorite song of all time/the song that you’re currently obsessed with if you can’t pick one.

“show a little faith, there’s magic in the night” ~ thunder road, bruce springsteen

my questions for those tagged!

What was the first animal you remember being obsessed with as a child? Do you still love them?

Do you prefer writing your notes by hand or typing them out? Why?

What’s a book that everyone loves/is a classic that you didn’t like?

Do you like spicy food?

What’s your relationship with plants? Green thumb or admiring from afar?

Are you addicted to the internet? 

Name a movie that is technically really bad, but you love it with all your heart. Why do you like it?

What Pokémon type(s) would you be?

What is something you learned recently that you had no idea about?

Favorite summertime drink?

i tag @mysti @starsandwriting @nuwandastudies @motivatedstingray @blueinkked @meganstudiesss! no pressure of course (it took me three months to do these haha)!

[tealin]

Basler to the Beardmore 4: And Back Again

As usual, the properly formatted post is up at the official blog – caught this too late as usual!

Having had the grand tour of the Beardmore Glacier, we set our course to return to McMurdo.  There was one waypoint we were to hit on the way back, but the first part of the journey was just peaceful ice and cloud as far as the eye could see.

After about an hour of abstract land- and skyscapes, we approached our rendezvous point with history: 79°29'S 170°E – One Ton Depot.  There it is!

One Ton Depot was the name given to the final cache of food and supplies taken out along the route to the pole in the summer of 1911, so that not everything would have to be hauled from base when they set out to reach the South Pole the next summer. It was supposed to be laid at 80°S, but due to a spell of bad weather, the condition of the ponies, and the imminence of the end of the safe travel season, they decided that 79°29’S was far enough. In 1911 that was the prudent decision; they could not have known that, the following year, the last three survivors of the five who reached the Pole would get within that 35½ statute mile margin and could really have done with the extra food and fuel. It is one of the great ‘what if’s of polar history.

Another ‘what if’ hovers around Apsley Cherry-Garrard’s trip to One Ton in March 1912. In Scott’s plans, he called for the dog teams to meet the returning Polar Party out on the ice shelf. Due to extenuating circumstances at base, the dogs were sent out later than called for, and under the command of Apsley Cherry-Garrard, who had never been in a leadership position before and could not navigate with a sextant as the Navy men could. The Polar Party was reported to be in good condition by the last people who had seen them, and, time having passed since the planned rendezvous, were likely to be nearer One Ton than the original rendezvous, he was instructed to go there and then decide what to do.

Just as it had when the depot was originally laid, the weather was starting to break up – Antarctica moves very quickly from summer into winter, and it takes no prisoners. Cherry and the dogs arrived at One Ton on March 4th; over the following week only two days were clear enough to travel, and all were bitterly cold. The dogs were short of food and losing condition, so taking them further would have been a significant risk. On March 10th, Cherry left the extra rations and turned back north. Again, an apparently prudent decision at the time, but one that would haunt him for the rest of his life.

It was a completely unscouted location so we couldn't land, but we did a low tight turn so that I could see the terrain and, more importantly, what was visible on the horizon.  I had heard that One Ton was the furthest south one could reliably navigate by landmarks alone – a convenient location for a young explorer who had failed to get his head around celestial navigation.  The view would be different from a few hundred feet up than it would be from ground level, but with the clear day and calm conditions I could at least guess what might be seen. The impression I had was that the top of Erebus would just poke up from the horizon, there, but as far as I could tell from the plane, one was more likely to see Mt Discovery, which was closer and darker.  

This is a fully zoomed-out view of Ross Island from that loop:

We were closer to Minna Bluff and Mt Discovery; the latter is a smaller mountain than Erebus, but being closer and with more exposed rock, the atmospheric perspective would not blot it out so much.

This is not a fair photo to judge against the previous one for distance, as I have zoomed in here, but you can see how the contrast is much higher on these nearer landmarks.  I think the only way you'd locate Erebus more easily than Mt Discovery from here is if there was enough of an eruption to make a large smoke plume.

When planning this trip with the fixed-wing coordinators, alternatives had been discussed in case the Basler flight didn't work out.  I would get views of the Beardmore from a turnaround flight to Pole, and for a recce of One Ton might join one of the regular maintenance trips out to an automated weather station called Alexander Tall Tower, which is only 25km from the location of One Ton.  All the automated weather stations have names, hence ‘Alexander’; 'Tall Tower' is because it's 30m high with instruments at regular intervals all the way up, to measure what's happening in different layers of air.  

As it happened, the Basler trip came off, but we paid a visit to Tall Tower anyway – in fact we buzzed it: one of the other Kenn Borek planes was out there, having brought its attendant meteorologist plus one of the other media outfits, a film crew making the second series of One Strange Rock.  This crew were my best friends at McMurdo so it was really fun to see them at work, not least because their luck with flights had been much poorer than mine.

Just as One Ton was on the 'Southern Road' in Scott's time, so Tall Tower is on the Southern Road now – a slightly different route, taken by the South Pole Traverse convoy taking supplies from McMurdo to Pole, oriented to go up a different glacier than the Beardmore.  We followed this some of the way back, so I got a good appreciation of the road as a scratch on the cue-ball surface of the ice shelf.  Returning parties tried to use their outbound tracks as much as possible to navigate home; sometimes the light was bad and sometimes they were covered by drift, but they'd often cross the tracks again once celestial navigation straightened them out, and that would put them back on course.  A team of sledges with dogs and ponies is going to leave a fainter scratch than multi-ton tractors hauling vast bladders of fuel, but in a vista of windblown snow, a manmade disturbance can really stand out.

Rather than following the road all the way back, as terrestrial creatures would do, we flew over White Island!  This is the side which catches the wind from the south and east, so is not as white as the side you see from McMurdo.

And as we approached Williams Field, the light was just right to show off the sea ice/Barrier interface south of Cape Armitage.

When we finally piled out of the plane, I thanked Steve enthusiastically for what had been by far the best flight of my entire life.  'Yeah, sorry about the turbulence back there,' he said.

'Oh that was nothing! I've had much worse coming in to Edmonton.'  Which is true; I once made peace with death on a flight into Edmonton through a storm which, later that afternoon, spawned a tornado.

'Yeah, but's that's because you were flying into Edmonton.'

I can't argue with that: the Beardmore is definitely not Edmonton.

An article in the October 1911 edition of the South Polar Times – the magazine whose writing and publication kept the men happily occupied during the dark and crowded months of winter – posited Antarctica as a holiday destination in the distant future when global warming had rendered it balmy.  In this antipodean Switzerland, tourists would travel comfortably by aeroplane over the geography which the men reading the magazine were, at that point, yet to walk across themselves.  Wilson illustrated this article with a gauzy cloudscape and a wonderful spindly yellow biplane like the Wright brothers'.  Cherry, writing on the other side of a war which saw the rapid development of aircraft into nimble and efficient vehicles, knew the future of Antarctic travel was in the air, and thought that sensible.  I wonder if either of them could have imagined such a jolly picnic in the sky, going most of the route to the Pole and back in one day, in time for a nice hot dinner in the Galley.

[jayxscripta]

The Mahaigner - Chapter Six

Aaaand this is where things really start cooking. And by that I mean there are so many characters and unresolved plot points to pick up from the films, and characters I decided to create and add in for some more flavor, because otherwise this would be too easy, and--

Madeline woke with a deep ache resonating throughout her bones, throbbing wrists, and a rhythmic pounding in her head. She had blacked out—she knew that much—but her memory failed to inform her why. It was probably a miracle she had even woken up at all.

She pried open her eyes, trying to blink away the blurriness. She was lying on her side, against something cold and hard and probably metal. She tried to move her hand to push the hair away from her face, but the motion was cut short with a clink. Surprised, she looked down to her wrists. Handcuffs. Protruding blue veins were stark against alabaster skin. These must be the power draining cuffs Stark had threatened her with.

She finally lifted her head, trying to blink away the blurriness, when a familiar voice jolted her from her stupor. “Cozy, isn’t it?”

“Perfect, actually,” she groaned, forcing herself up into a sitting position. The bench was unforgiving and indeed made of metal, as was the rest of the room. Loki sat across from her, the picture of indifference. They were moving. She was in an armored truck. She looked around, panic creeping in when she realized that, for the first time in years, Astrid wasn’t with her. “What happened? Where’s Astrid?”

“I believe they took her as well.” He sounded sympathetic. “Are you alright?”

Madeline’s first instinct was to respond sarcastically, but after the conversation she had overheard between the two brothers, she couldn’t bring herself to. Loki was trying, and her guilt begged that she give him the benefit of the doubt. So instead, she nodded, somewhat numbly. “I’m not dead yet. But never mind that—” she winced, “—how long have we been in here?”

“Several hours. After the incident, one of the officers called the General. The Vision tried to stall for time, but even with his help Stark couldn’t hide hundreds of Asgardians and the Hulk. Or the quinjet that crashed through the hangar roof.”

“He took everyone?” she asked, confused and disbelieving. “Even Strange?”

Where could the General possibly hide all of them? Did he have some sort of massive, secret bunker just to stash arrested super powered people?

“I don’t know where the other Asgardians were taken. Banner is in government custody, and you and I the same, as war criminals. Stark argued for Thor’s immunity. When we were arrested, the doctor was still unconscious.”

She nodded, numb. How had everything spiraled out of control so quickly? She had learned to deal with the guilt after the last incident, but this was different. She could have killed someone—she might have even killed Strange. That was why the cuffs were on her wrists. But at least she was alive. At least someone hadn’t put a bullet in her head.

She buried her head in her hands. “So, I’m a war criminal now?” She doubted her years as a law-abiding American citizen mattered at all to General Ross. Not after what had transpired. Not when he didn’t even extend grace to the Avengers.

“You don’t seem like one.” Unsurprisingly, Loki was rather calm. Probably because he had been in this sort of situation before. She could always hope he could provide some plan, some assurance that they would be fine. But that didn’t seem likely at the moment.

Unsure of how to respond, she settled for, “thank you.”

Angry voices and thumps pierced the wall separating the drivers’ compartment from the security unit. She started, turning towards the wall as if that would somehow provide an answer. Had she imagined it?

Her confirmation came seconds later. “Did you hear that?” Loki asked, and she nodded. As she leaned forward, trying to hear if anything was being said in the driver’s cabin, there was another shout. The truck swerved sharply, braked too hard, and Madeline lost her balance, flying forwards out of her seat. Loki caught her by the shoulders easily, the cool metal of his restraints skimming her arms. He was so close to her face that she could see that his eyes were green. Then she cleared her throat, wondering why that was the first thing her brain had noticed.

She barely had time to apologize before the doors to the truck swung open, and light flooded in, the shadows of a woman and a man cast before them. She recognized both almost instantly, despite their altered appearances.

Ivanoff’s eyebrows furrowed. “This isn’t what I was expecting to find.”

Loki released his grip on her arms, the shocked expression on his betraying that he recognized the rescuers. But somehow, he didn’t seem that enthused with their appearance. She could understand why it was awkward, given the circumstances of their last meeting. And now they were rescuing him from being imprisoned again. A bit ironic, actually.

On a normal day, Madeline would have laughed at the sheer absurdity of the situation. How could she have ever imagined she would be a war criminal, locked in the back of an armored vehicle with a demi-god, and rescued by two superheroes? But she was speechless, largely because Ivanoff was supposed to be dead.

“Are you two getting out?” Ivanoff pressed, raising an eyebrow. “We’re on the clock here.”

“Right.” Madeline turned to the open doors, legs wobbling. There was no real way of knowing how the power cuffs were affecting her body, but they had definitely weakened her. She hopped down and would have pitched forward into the dirt had Ivanoff not steadied her. “How did you find us?” Madeline asked, scanning her surroundings. They were in a desert—one like you see in movies, with cacti, towering red rocks, and the obligatory tumbleweed. There was no way Ivanoff and Captain America had stumbled upon them by accident.

It made sense. If Ross had been sending them to a secure government facility, there was definitely one hidden in some desert somewhere.

“We used a tracker,” Ivanoff answered vaguely. Her eyes flickered to Madeline’s cuffed wrists and she grimaced. “We have to get these off. I know the feeling. The suppressant will last for a few hours but after it wears off your powers should come back.”

Madeline winced as Ivanoff’s hands hovered over the cuffs. She didn’t know what she was doing, but it hurt. “That could be a bad thing.”

Ivanoff raised an eyebrow. “Well, at least you’ll feel better,” she murmured. She was concentrating on the cuffs, the palms of her hands glowing a faint purple. “These shouldn’t be hard to get off, but I don’t want to fry your wrists.” Then suddenly the purple glow grew in magnitude and brightness. There was a snap and a clang as the handcuffs fell to the road.

More shouts sounded from the front of the armored truck, and it was only then that Madeline noticed Captain Rogers had disappeared. “Are you sure you’ve got this under control, Miss Ivanoff?” Loki ventured, making a point to jingle the chains of his cuffs together when she looked up.

“Don’t piss me off,” Ivanoff warned, “Thor sent us here to rescueyou; he never said I had to set you free.” She jerked her hand towards Madeline and hooked the cuffs onto her belt. “I’m sure we have room but I will gladly make up an excuse to give your spot to her.”

“Thor sent you?” Madeline recoiled in surprise. Suddenly it all made sense. That’s why they were here. Except, she didn’t know how Thor had managed to contact the ex-Avengers while under lock and key at the Compound. “How?”

“It was through this.” Ivanoff held up her wrist and showed them a simple metal bracelet, engraved with strange symbols. Probably Asgardian. Madeline followed as she and the Captain stepped off the road and into the barren desert. “I’m sure Loki recognizes it. It gives off a strong distress signal at any point where its match is activated. Thor gave it to me a few years ago before he left. Said if he ever needed us, he would let me know. Of course, his timing was perfect. I was halfway through a stack of blueberry pancakes when it lit up. But we figured it was important, so we followed it.”

Loki looked down at his arms, as if realizing something important, and sighed heavily. “He must have slipped the other beacon onto me when he hugged me.”

“Sounds like Thor’s getting better at being sneaky,” Ivanoff remarked. “You ready, Sam?”

Madeline heard a faint crackling, but nothing else. She cast a quizzical glance towards Loki; based off the knowing look in his eyes, he had some idea of what was happening. She took a few steps further but was stopped when a chain adorned arm reached out to stop her. Before she could ask just what he was doing, he nodded in the direction that she had been going. His lips twitched upwards, like he was withholding a grin. “Might I suggest looking up before you walk?”

Bemused, she did look up. Then, tilting her head to the side in amazement, she watched as a jet silently materialized out of thin air. “Where are you taking us?” she asked, following their rescuers up the jet ramp.

“Not back to New York, if that’s what you were wondering,” Ivanoff answered. She was right, Madeline had been wondering. With good reason.

“Somewhere safe,” Captain Rogers assured. “You’ll be granted asylum there for as long as you need.”

“Are you sure you want me coming too?” Loki asked, almost sounding bored. “Last time I was on Midgard I got the impression you would kill me if I dared to come back.”

“That can be arranged,” Ivanoff offered.

“Tori.” Steve’s voice carried a strain of warning, and a tiredness that only occurs in someone who has been doing this for years. “Thor wants him alive, I’m sure.”

“Fine, I’ll try to play Switzerland. But I don’t have to be friendly.”

“Where are the others?” Rogers asked, ending the argument. “Are they still at the Compound?”

“No. General Ross arrested everybody, including Banner.”

“Bruce? Why?” Ivanoff asked, alarmed.

“Possibly because he’s still the Hulk.”

His answer seemed to take the three former-Avengers by surprise. That, or they were still trying to figure out if Loki was lying or not.

“Still the Hulk?” Rogers’ brows furrowed in confusion.

Wilson turned in his chair to glance back towards the assembled group, disbelief evident on his face. “Hold up, I thought the Hulk always turned back into Bruce once he—you know—de-stressed?”

“Usually.”

“Did Tony even argue to keep Bruce from being incarcerated?” Ivanoff asked, sounding frustrated.

“Not to my knowledge,” Loki said drily. “I was busy being arrested.”

That seemed to be enough of a confirmation for Ivanoff. She sighed and rubbed her temples. “Don’t tell me you’re surprised,” Sam cut in, an edge of disbelief to his voice. “That’s exactly what happened to us.”

“Is it a cop out to say that I’m more disappointed than anything?” she returned with a huff.

“Was there anyone else who Ross could have arrested?” Rogers questioned, shooting a look to his companions that clearly meant drop it.

“My dog.” Madeline faltered, guilt flooding into her stomach. “And Dr. Strange.” If he woke up and was healthy enough to pose a threat, of course Ross would arrest him as well. After all, he had helped her.

“Who?”

“Stephen Strange. He helped me while I was at the compound.”

“Stephen Strange?” Rogers echoed, glancing towards Ivanoff. “We’ve heard that name before.”

“From Sitwell,” Ivanoff confirmed. “Is he working with the Avengers now?”

Madeline pursed her lips in contemplation. “It was more of an ‘out of necessity’ partnership.”

“Then he’s already in too deep,” Wilson said, not turning from his position in the pilot’s seat.

“Never mind that. Personally, I’d worry about your dog,” Ivanoff replied.

Rogers turned his gaze on Ivanoff. “Seriously?”

She shrugged defensively. “It’s a valid concern.”

Madeline cleared her throat and tried to steer the discussion elsewhere. “If we’re not going back to New York, then where are we going?”

The conversation stopped abruptly, like they had flown into a brick wall. “The only place any one of us can be safe,” Ivanoff said, “Wakanda.”

“You’re joking, right? They’d offer us—” she gestured between herself and Loki “—sanctuary?”

“They did for us,” Rogers replied, “and their king said they would for you too. As long as you cooperate.”

“Define cooperate,” Loki joined in, sounding bored.

“Just don’t talk, and you probably won’t have an issue,” Ivanoff told him frostily, and then turned to Madeline calmly. “I think you should get comfortable. We won’t land for a few more hours and your powers might make an appearance before then.”

Madeline nodded her thanks, scanning the room and choosing a seat furthest away from the group. She craved her own personal peace; a few moments in which she didn’t have to worry about being arrested or dying or accidentally killing somebody.

She tucked her legs onto the seat and closed her eyes, thinking about everything that had happened in the last day or so. Where she was going, who she was with. It was like a fever dream.

As she dozed off, she wondered how she had never realized how much safer it felt to have Astrid curled up by her side.

[twothumbsandnostakeincanon]

re: your tags on the uncles sugar daddy post, you're implying that stiles is the sugar daddy and tbh I need more of independently wealthy stiles being the reason Peter has his lush penthouse and two Shelby cobras and fine suede jackets

Okay this⬆️and these tags from @stetervault⬇️

#i so rarely see any sugar daddy stiles #i have a need #stiles comes from old money maybe #a la lara croft style #peter goes backpacking in europe #gets dragged into one of stiles’ treasure-hunting adventures #narrowly escapes with their lives #and ofc peter would fall in love with someone who gave him excitement and adventure and even a few evil dudes to murder #thats some first class courting okay #anyway stiles takes him home because hell if he’s letting such a capable partner leave #solution: obv bribe him with money and food and anything else he wants to get him to stay #teen wolf #steter #stiles stilinski #peter hale #sugar daddy stiles #lara croft au #prompt

Are Very Important Ideas. Stiles, independently wealthy and riding that oh-so blurry line of eccentric millionaire, wants a book. A book that somehow ended up in Switzerland. So he’s there, chasing down leads, paying for information, making a few light threats here and there, when his phone gets stolen while he waits on a crowded train platform. 

Because here’s the thing: Stiles might have millions, but he still dresses like a college student who works at a thrift store. Nothing is softer than worn-out flannel, alright? 

So he looks exactly like one of the two dozen other 20-something backpackers. But he’s paying more attention than them. When he feels something lift out of his pocket, he immediately turns only to see someone retreating, quickly lifting other phones and wallets as they move. Only one other man notices. 

Unfortunately it’s too late for both of them. The pickpocket has both their phones, and Peter’s wallet, and is already exiting the station. 

Cue an afternoon race of tracking down the pickpocket, because Stiles’ phone has information on it that he absolutely must have in order to get the book, and Peter just can’t fuckin’ afford to replace his phone, especially if his wallet is also gone. 

They chase down the motherfucker, only to find that the pickpocket had enemies of their own, because the chase ends when they stumble onto a murder scene featuring the pickpocket. They side eye each other for a moment, wondering how the other person is gonna handle it, but they both end up just grabbing their stuff and running, before calling in an anonymous tip later.

Stiles offers to pay for Peter’s hotel that night as a thank-you for helping him get his phone back, and at first Peter’s like, “Cool, let’s find a hostel” and Stiles is like “Nope” and that’s when Peter finds out that Stiles is fucking loaded. 

One conversation leads to another, and curiosity leads to more questions, and before they really decide on anything Stiles is chasing after this underground supernatural trafficking ring that has his fucking book, and Peter is caught up in the hurricane. They’re dashing all over Europe, from Switzerland to Austria to Hungary, staying in incredible hotels because u can’t hunt down artifacts and bad guys (or at least guys worse than them) if ur not getting a good night’s rest, and you better fuckin’ beLIEVE that at least one of those hotels only has one bed left. 

Anyway they also definitely have to get dressed up to break into a formal event at least once, and Stiles has a lot of fun watching Peter try on different tuxes, and when Peter can’t make up his mind Stiles is like “You can decide later, we’ll take both.” 

The formal event is also probably where they end up needing to steal a car. Peter electronically “hot wires” the Shelby Cobra while Stiles shoots back at an asshole or five, and after a few minutes of driving Peter’s like, “They can’t shoot the car. The car is too nice to be shot. Go for the head, Stiles, this car is the new love of my life.” He may or may not shed a tear when they have to ditch it in order to not get caught. 

When it’s all over; when Stiles has his book and the leader of the supernatural trafficking ring is dead, when Peter only has a week of his gap year left; that’s when Stiles says, “First class back to Beacon Hills?” and Peter says, “Yes please.” 

On the flight home, Stiles produces a box of the Swiss chocolates that Peter liked so much. 

When they land it’s a little chilly, and Stiles pulls a lovely suede jacket out of his luggage; one from a shop that Peter was looking at. It’s tailored to his measurements. 

On the way home, Stiles asks if they can stop by his place first, and Peter’s like, “Your place? You have a place here?” 

And Stiles is like, “I do now.”

And they pull in, and there are the two Shelby Cobras because Stiles wasn’t sure which color he would want. 

Is it all a bit much? 

Of course, but what else could Stiles and Peter ever be. 

[anothernerdstudies]

tag game

I always love doing these, and i’ve not done one in aaagggeeesss...Thank you so much @izobee-studies for the tag! 🌻

how tall are you? 5′10, so pretty tall for a girl!

what colour and style is your hair? Darkish brown, just sorta medium long and straight but super duper thick

what colour are your eyes? Dark brown!

do you wear glasses? Yes, and I have done since I was 9....I’m really short-sighted so get to watch the wonder on people’s faces as they try on my glasses and it just goes super blurry!

do you wear braces? No, I was told I could have them if I wanted (my bottom teeth are a bit crowded and wonky) but I didn’t want to have to struggle through grade 8 flute with the awful tone braces give you!

what’s your fashion sense? um whatever really, I wear a lot of jeans/skirts and jumpers, but I love wearing oversized shirts and combat boots!

full name? Isabel, but only my mum & grandma call me that (unless you’re one of my friends trying to annoy me)

where were you born? Leicester in the UK

where are you from and where do you live now? I’m from Bedfordshire, but I currently live just outside Birmingham for uni!

what school do you go to? The University of Birmingham!

what kind of student are you? a bad one I study chemistry, so perpetually busy when compared with most other students. I feel like i’m always finishing the next thing due, when I would like to feel like i’m caught up on stuff/revising!

do you like school? I love it, I love my degree and I love studying at uni 💛

favourite subject? Inorganic chemistry will always be my fave, we’ve just started a module on biomineralisation and materials which is really interesting and i’m loving that so far!

favourite tv shows? Brooklyn 99, The Good Place, Sex Education, Star Trek Voyager

favourite films? Any Pixar film, Scott Pilgrim vs The World, Star Trek (2009) has a very special place in my heart because I studied it in depth for A-level and the score is just amazing  💛

favourite book? uhhh I mean i’m currently reading the second book in the Villanelle series and it’s really good

favourite past time? I love watching TV with my friends, we all sit downstairs under blankets and binge watch something (currently Voyager). I also love knitting and baking!

do you have any regrets? I regret how I ended things with a guy last year, I don’t for a minute regret ending it but I think I should have gone about it in a different way

what’s your dream job? Something in audit/quality control? Maybe?

would you like to get married? Yes!

do you want kids? 100% Yes Definitely, and have known I do since I was 8!

how many? 3? Maybe? Definitely more than 1

do you like shopping? Yes, but my bank account.,,,,,does,,,,not

what countries have you visited? England, Wales, France, Spain, Germany, Belgium, Luxembourg, Austria, Liechtenstein, Switzerland! I’ve not been outside Europe yet, but I would love to go to Iceland and Japan!

scariest nightmare you ever had? probably just like generic death of everyone I love...I had a nightmare a few days ago that I had to write a philosophy essay with no preparation and that was terrifying

any enemies? no?? I don’t think so?????

self doubt? oh god so much

any significant other? I have so many significant friends in my life, I don’t really feel like I have room for a romantic relationship right now!

do you believe in miracles? No I don’t think so, but I do believe in luck and fate

how are you? I’m really great! I just submitted a placement application, and now I’m sat on my sofa in my pjs under a blanket listening to my housemates cook dinner!  🌻

I tag: @elliefluteelephant, @thoughtful-amicorn, @studeres and anyone else that wants to do it!

[drvconiis]

         ──    *     𝑰 𝑻 ' 𝑺   𝑪 𝑹 𝑨 𝑪 𝑲 𝑯 𝑬 𝑨 𝑫   𝑯 𝑶 𝑼 𝑹 𝑺     .      and  i’ve  pretty  much  lost  everything  from  my  old  account  so  here  is  intro  one  out  of  two  because  i’m  a  sucker  for  references  .  as  well  as  a  couple  changes  and  details  about  my  son  but  without  further  ado  ,  roman  de  grimaldi  ‘erebody  .  let’s  get  this  shit  show  on  the  road  !

potential triggers : divorce , death , infidelity

          ▫     ◟     𝑹 𝑶 𝑴 𝑨 𝑵   𝑫 𝑬   𝑮 𝑹 𝑰 𝑴 𝑨 𝑳 𝑫 𝑰     ──     𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑙𝑑𝑒𝑛 𝑏𝑜𝑦  

abstract .

ʻ   /   let  me  introduce  you  to  a  prized  member  of  our   lacrosse team & sailing team   ,   roman  ‘ rome ’  de  grimaldi .  this   cismale  scorpio   has  been  a  student  at  our  institution for   4  years  and  is  currently  a  22  year  old   senior .   through  the  halls ,   he  has   always  reminded  me  of   evan roderick  ,   but  there  is  always  more  than  meets  the  eye ,   like  the  fact  that  he  ruined  someone’s  marriage  and  his  father  paid  them  off  to  keep  them  quiet .  coral  cape  has  made  their  future  just  as  bright  as  their  smile ,   i  assure  you .  ʼ 

memoir .

     ❭      ──     rome  was  born  with  𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅  𝒊𝒏𝒏𝒐𝒄𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆  ,  the  youngest  of  three  children  to  sensationalized  fairytale  couple  .  behind  closed  doors  ,  he  was  the  last  hope  for  the  broken  married  couple  ,  he  was  the  attempt  .  despite  the  messy  fights  and  heart  aching  words  ,  lucca  de  grimaldi  perceived  his  youngest  as  the  light  of  his  life  even  at  the  height  of  the  de  grimaldi  divorce  and  the  loss  of  custody  of  his  eldest  child  .  firenze  was  a  toxic  concoction  of  both  his  parents  but  roman  was  the  exact  copy  of  the  de  grimaldi  patriach  from  his  light  eyes  to  his  messy  blond  hair  even  to  his  cheeky  smile  that  seemed  to  work  in  his  favour  .

    ❭      ──     he  was  𝒕𝒐𝒐  𝒔𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒕  for  his  own  good  ,  while  his  brother  firenze  seemed  to  run  wild  amongst  the  halls  of  their  italian  estate  with  a  fierce  wildness  and  expensive  tutors  chasing  after  him  in  attempt  to  get  him  to  try  ;  rome  sat  on  his  father’s  lap  with  a  children’s  book  in  his  tiny  hand  and  smile  on  his  face  as  he  eased  at  the  sound  of  his  father  typing  .  even  at  a  young  age  ,  rome  and  lucca  were  practically  in  routine  with  one  another  as  the  youngest  de  grimaldi  would  enter  the  study  at  the  same  time  everyday  before  easing  himself  in  the  furthest  corner  until  all  the  school  work  the  tutors  gave  him  was  completed  and  in  a  need  pile  then  he  would  shine  𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒆𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒔  bright  eyes  at  his  father  until  he  found  himself  in  the  man’s  lap  .  most  of  the  time  he  had  a  book  but  there  were  rare  moment  ,  lucca  de  grimaldi  would  talk  about  the  new  research  the  company  was  looking  into  or  the  new  proposals  for  a  new  hospital  .  rome  fell  in  love  with  medicine  because  of  those  moments  .

   ❭      ──     lucca  de  grimaldi  cried  when  he  said  good  bye  to  his  youngest  son  at  the  tarmac  of  that  plane  that  would  ship  the  boy  all  the  way  to  switzerland  .  rome  at  the  ripe  age  of  six  seemed  to  understand  duty  better  than  most  kids  ,  he  didn’t  cry  or  cling  onto  his  father  or  brother  instead  he  only  seemed  to  smirk  and  promised  to  call  .  rome  had  always  been  the  perfect  elite  child  ,  he  had  refined  manners  and  seemed  to  speak  to  every  elder  in  perfect  politeness  and  never  caused  his  father  distress  but  he  had  a  𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒆  𝒐𝒇  𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒄𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒚  when  he  arrived  from  a  year  at  school  .  as  years  grew  the  personality  grew  ,  he  was  still  a  child  so  the  multitude  of  languages  he  was  expected  to  know  mixed  ,  there  was  a  lacklustre  about  him  as  he  grew  .  he  was  golden  but  not  in  the  same  innocence  he  used  to  be  .  he  was  merely  painted  gold  .

  ❭      ──     the  first  time  roman  de  grimaldi  really  screamed  was  at  the  sight  of  his  older  brother  falling  into  the  still  deep  waters  .  the  first  time  he  cries  himself  to  sleep  when  when  his  father  held  him  after  baring  him  with  the  news  his  brother  passed  .  the  first  time  he  stops  routine  is  to  sit  in  his  brother’s  bedroom  and  wonder  .  he  was  merely  ten  and  he  wonders  ,  he  seemed  to  have  that  never  ending  question  about  why  people  seemed  to  keep  leaving  him  but  he  never  asks  aloud  .  then  routine  continues  ,  and  each  year  as  he  grows  he  becomes  less  of  himself  and  more  of  a  facade  ,  a  mere  image  of  who  he  could  have  been  .  he  was  dubbed  the  heir  of  the  de  grimaldi  business  before  he  even  finished  elementary  school  ,  he  was  a  part  of  the  future  of  science  and  he  barely  even  hit  puberty  yet  .  there  were  expectations  ,  plans  and  rules  to  follow  .  rome  discovered  he  𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒆𝒅  𝒕𝒉𝒆  𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒍  or  he  may  just  fall  apart  .

 ❭      ──     rebellion  was  not  something  expected  of  him  ,  the  most  extreme  he  had  intentionally  hit  was  going  to  university  for  law  for  a  year  .  he  was  almost  disowned  by  his  family  of  medical  professional  but  everyone  knew  rome  lived  and  breathed  science  to  even  be  remotely  happy  with  law  .  his  next  rebellion  was  unintentional  ,  roman  like  getting  what  he  wanted  ,  he  𝒄𝒓𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒅  𝒕𝒉𝒆  𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒃𝒊𝒅𝒅𝒆𝒏  and  sometimes  he  succumbed  to  the  impossible  .  he  involves  himself  with  a  married  woman  ,  he  craves  the  secrecy  ,  he  craved  the  lack  of  plans  and  control  .  he  doesn’t  love  her  but  𝒉𝒆  𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒑𝒖𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒔  𝒉𝒆𝒓  to  believe  he  does  ,  to  feel  out  of  control  even  for  a  second  .  it  crashes  and  burns  around  him  and  he  remembers  why  there  are  plans  and  rules  in  place  .  𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒖𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏  𝒘𝒂𝒔  𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈  to  the  de  grimaldis  and  family  was  above  everything  .  his  world  doesn’t  crash  and  burn  but  he  ruined  a  marriage  and  left  a  woman  who  bared  her  heart  and  soul  to  him  .  he  didn’t  even  look  back  .  rome  learnt  that  family  was  the  only  important  thing  .

temperament .

          ♡       +       intelligent           ♡       -        manipulative           ♡       +       charismatic           ♡       -        controlled           ♡       +       logical           ♡       -        vain

muse .

          ──     ▫     draco  malfoy           ──     ▫     tony  stark           ──     ▫     derek  shepard           ──     ▫     bruce  wayne           ──     ▫     derek  hale

current connections .

        ──    *     𝑨 𝑰 𝑺 𝑳 𝑰 𝑵 𝑵   𝑩 𝑼 𝑺 𝑻 𝑨 𝑴 𝑨 𝑵 𝑻 𝑬     ──     skinny  love  .  it  was  just  supposed  to  be  a  hook  up  but  rome  found  himself  ravelled  in  something  he  hadn’t  felt  for  a  while  .  he  fell  in  love  with  aislinn  fast  and  hard  and  he  did  what  he  did  best  ,  he  ran  with  excuses  coming  out  of  his  mouth  but  he  can’t  help  stop  feeling  what  he  does  for  aislinn  .

       ──    *     𝑨 𝑹 𝑫 𝑬 𝑵   𝑹 𝑶 𝑪 𝑲 𝑬 𝑭 𝑬 𝑳 𝑳 𝑬 𝑹     ──     best  friend  .  it  started  with  a  boring  party  ,  a  ring  pop  and  a  marriage  proposal  while  the  rest  was  history  .  rome  and  arden  are  best  friends  ,  somewhat  platonic  soulmate  and  loving  parents  to  a  beautiful  dog  named  percy  .  they’ve  been  best  friends  since  the  moment  they  met  with  marriage  pacts  and  a  scary  attachment  to  one  another  but  if  there  was  one  person  rome  would  protect  with  his  dying  breath  it  would  be  arden  .

       ──    *     𝑪 𝑶 𝑹 𝑵 𝑬 𝑳 𝑰 𝑼 𝑺   𝑹 𝑶 𝑪 𝑲 𝑬 𝑭 𝑬 𝑳 𝑳 𝑬 𝑹     ──     acquaintance  .  due  to  rome’s  relationships  with  neel’s  sisters  he  couldn’t  help  but  be  around  the  other  .  it  was  no  mistake  that  they  weren’t  best  friends  or  even  remotely  close  but  it  there  was  one  talent  rome  could  provide  to  neel’s  it  was  annoying  and  teasing  the  boy  in  question  with  no  sign  of  relenting  .

       ──    *     𝑱 𝑼 𝑫 𝑨 𝑺   𝑪 𝑹 𝑨 𝑾 𝑭 𝑶 𝑹 𝑫     ──     study  buddies  .  rome  finds  solitude  in    the  library  ,  he’s  a  medicine  student  there  really  isn’t  an  hour  he  doesn’t  study  and  finding  people  to  simply  study  with  is  scarce  .  he’s  never  really  cared  about  the  whole  rich  vs  poor  overview  and  jude  sitting  with  him  and  studying  was  enough  to  barter  a  friendship  from  him  .  

       ──    *     𝑳 𝑼 𝑪 𝑰 𝑨   𝑹 𝑬 𝒀 𝑬 𝑺     ──     frenemies  .  they  aren’t  exactly  friends  but  rome  tolerates  the  other  ,  they  don’t  hang  out  or  openly  hate  one  another  .  they  tolerate  one  another  ,  isn’t  that  enough  ?

       ──    *     𝑴 𝑰 𝑳 𝑨 𝑵   𝑩 𝑰 𝑨 𝑵 𝑪 𝑶     ──     best  friend  .  rome  had  met  milan  at  a  young  age  of  a  boring  party  his  father  had  dragged  him  to  and  they  couldn’t  help  but  be  anymore  different  .  milan  finding  a  way  to  hide  himself  in  isolation  had  intrigued  rome  to  leave  the  group  of  people  he  had  been  charming  and  thus  a  friendship  started  with  sitting  silently  and  reading  with  one  another  .  it  didn’t  take  long  for  rome  to  start  treating  the  other  as  his  younger  brother  ,  he  didn’t  tell  the  other  much  but  he  loved  him  to  the  end  of  the  earth  .

       ──    *     𝑶 𝑷 𝑯 𝑬 𝑳 𝑰 𝑨   𝑺 𝑶 𝑵 𝑮     ──     academic rival . these two hated each other from the minute they sat in same class ; rome was never openly smart he preferred excelling in silence but that didn’t stop him from finding someone who held different outlooks than him and that person happened to be ophelia . if she said something aloud , he rebutted , if she had a high grade , he had a percent higher . rome had a superiority complex and he wasn’t going to let ophelia song diminish it .

       ──    *     𝑻 𝒀 𝑩 𝑨 𝑳 𝑻   𝑺 𝑶 𝑵 𝑮     ──     friend  .  it  was  friendship  at  first  glance  ?  honestly  ,  these  two  are  friends  at  the  slimmest  point  :  they  don’t  trust  each  other  and  if  they  called  upon  their  loyalties  it  probably  wasn’t  one  another  but  they  had  one  thing  in  common  .  they  loved  bitching  about  ophelia  song  .  that  was  how  the  friendship  started  from  bitching  to  trouble  these  two  seem  to  be  somewhat  friends  .

wanted connection .

         ──     ▫     𝚅 𝙰 𝙽 𝙳 𝙴 𝚁 𝙱 𝙸 𝙻 𝚃        ❭        it’s  chaos  times  three  ,  they  cause  trouble  alone  but  when  you  put  them  together  it  is  absolute  chaos  .  they  say  to  never  make  a  deal  with  the  devil  ,  what  they  really  meant  was  never  make  a  deal  with  one  because  you’ll  get  three  of  them  asking  for  your  soul  .                                             ❭    ❭    ❭     taken by tybalt song .     ▫     one muse(s) open

        ──     ▫     𝙱 𝙻 𝙰 𝙲 𝙺 𝚆 𝙾 𝙾 𝙳       ❭        a  tragic  hate  turned  to  love  turned  back  to  hate  .  it’s  the  story  of  first  love  and  the  innocence  of  it  and  how  disastrous  it  can  become  .  how  people  who  grew  to  love  one  another  can  find  themselves  back  at  point  zero  .                                              ❭    ❭    ❭     taken by none .     ▫     no muse(s) open

        ──     ▫     𝚆 𝙸 𝙽 𝙳 𝚂 𝙾 𝚁       ❭        you  can’t  be  rome  de  grimaldi  without  leaving  people  with  manipulation  and  deception  that  is  masked  with  a  charming  smile  .  maybe  they  were  fated  to  have  opposing  families  like  romeo  and  juliet  but  if  the  story  took  a  u-turn  and  romeo  was  actually  still  seeing  rosaline  while  stringing  along  juliet  .  it’s  almost  love  ,  it’s  almost  unrequited  but  most  of  all  it’s  most  definitely  leading  to  some  vendetta  for  vengeance  .                                            ❭    ❭    ❭     taken by none .     ▫     one muse(s) open

        ──     ▫     𝙱 𝙰 𝚄 𝙳 𝙴 𝙻 𝙰 𝙸 𝚁 𝙴       ❭        this  is  pure  hate  between  two  .  give  me  rivalling  families  .  families  with  decades  or  centuries  of  bad  blood  between  one  another  .  give  me  a  harsh  childhood  rivalry  where  they  can’t  help  but  hate  one  another  .  give  me  them  finding  every  reason  to  hate  the  other  .  give  me  young  potter  vs  malfoy  vibes  .  feel  free  to  keep  the  sexual  tension  .                                            ❭    ❭    ❭     taken by none .     ▫     one muse(s) open

        ──     ▫     𝚁 𝙴 𝙸 𝙽 𝙴       ❭        this  person  has  it  out  for  rome  ,  the  are  either  related  or  have  a  relation  with  the  marriage  rome  had  ruined  that  one  summer  .  they  know  exactly  what  happened  :  they  know  about  his  father  paying  them  off  ,  they  know  about  the  de  grimaldi  threats  ,  they  know  about  rome  leaving  the  woman  who’s  marriage  he  ruined  for  nothing  .  and  they  are  angry  .                                            ❭    ❭    ❭     taken by none .     ▫     one muse(s) open

       ──     ▫     𝙲 𝙾 𝙻 𝙻 𝙸 𝙽 𝙶 𝚂 𝚆 𝙾 𝚁 𝚃 𝙷      ❭        this  is  a  typical  teammates  connection  with  rome  while  his  extracurriculars  are  based  around  lacrosse  ,  sailing  and  latin  club  .                                           ❭    ❭    ❭     taken by none .     ▫     a fuck ton muse(s) open

       ──     ▫     𝙿 𝙴 𝙼 𝙱 𝚁 𝙾 𝙾 𝙺 𝙴       ❭        rome  is  smart  concerning  the  subject  of  s.t.e.m  and  that  makes  him  liable  to  have  a  few  student  he  tutors  but  he  doesn’t  do  it  out  of  the  kindness  of  his  heart  or  money  .  he  usully  wants  to  be  paid  with  something  he  could  use  for  his  benefit  .                                           ❭    ❭    ❭     taken by none.     ▫     two muse(s) open

       ──     ▫     𝙳 𝚄 𝙱 𝙾 𝙸 𝚂      ❭        this  is  rome’s  eldest  sibling  connection  and  they  haven’t  seen  one  another  or  spoke  in  eighteen  years  .  they  grew  up  as  complete  opposites  after  their  parent’s  divorce  while  rome  grew  up  opulent  and  affluent  his  sibling  grew  up  on  the  opposite  side  of  tracks  with  their  mother  .  cape  coral  may  be  the  place  they  see  each  other  for  the  first  time  since  they  were  kids  .                                           ❭    ❭    ❭     taken by none .     ▫     one muse(s) open

[neighbourskid]

What’s Your Story?

(original date: 30 July 2016)

At ComicCon, two weeks ago, I got this free shirt that says "What's your story?". And now that I've been wearing it, every time I've looked in a mirror or just seen a reflection of myself, I have been wondering, what exactly is my story? Why am I the way I am? What made me like this? Where do I come from, and where do I go to? And I have thought a lot about this, to be honest. But I guess, I just gotta start at the beginning, right?

I am pretty bad with childhood memories. I barely know anything. Everything that I do know, I feel like only knowing because people told me or because I've seen pictures of it. Which honestly bums me out. I am also constantly not sure if things I feel like I actually do remember, aren't just things that I made up at some point. But anyways.

I grew up in a small-ish town in Switzerland. We've lived in other small-ish towns and villages before, but I was definitely too young to remember any of that. There are memories of me feeding my older half-brother, but I am quite sure that I only know this because there's a picture of it. Right now, I'd say my earliest memory is my half-brother (who's autistic by the way) helping my brother and me out of beds we couldn't get out on our own. I know that I know this. I was probably around three or four at the time. Anyways.

My parents got divorced when I was four. Although I have lived with my mom until I moved out this July, I never really connected with her as much as other girls do. Those good mother-daughter relationships you see in movies sometimes? We didn't have that. I was always very focused on the men in my family. My dad was my hero, even though I only saw him every second weekend and on special occasions like birthdays and Christmas. But he was my hero. Still is.

My brother was my role model from early childhood on. My mom always says, that I was always okay with everything that he chose to do or have. My brother wanted these pants? Me too. My brother wanted chocolate milk? Me too. Those were my most said words. "Me too."

My mom feared that I would be too dependent on his decisions and never be truly me, because I was okay with doing whatever he did. But I don't think that this is what happened. I just loved my brother. My dad wasn't always there because of the divorce, so my next go-to person was my brother, because I didn't see my mom as a role model or go-to person. We didn't connect like that.

My brother and me, we're 18 months apart. That's a wonderful age gap. It's not too close, but it's also not too far away to get along splendidly.

Of course, one of the reasons why I was always okay with doing/having what my brother did, was because I thought we were the same. As a child, I didn't really get the concept of gender or that there is a real difference between boys and girls. I just knew that some people had other parts than others, but I was like, yeah and? What does it matter?

I just knew that I always liked hanging out with boys more than I did with girls. I had this friend in kindergarten who I always stole Legos with. Then in first grade, I was seated next to a girl with the same last name as me, and we got along and I got to play at her house a lot, but in second grade I was back to being with boys. And I was friends with the same boy until probably fourth grade, then expanded my friend group - to even more boys. And they accepted me. I got to hang out with them, got to play video games with them, played with pokemon cards, played football. It wasn't until probably sixth grade that I actually got girl friends. And even then, my main friend group were still the boys. And I was kinda the "cool girl" because I got to hang out with them.

It was nothing I was striving for, but it happened nonetheless.

I remember that one of my best friends had a crush on me, and I didn't get it. I was oblivious to that. Until I cut my hair in sixth grade, and thus looked more boyish than ever before, and he lost his interest. In retrospect, I should've seen it. But it doesn't really matter anyway.

Then seventh grade came around - new teachers, new class - and I only had four of my old classmates left: two girls who I didn't spend that much time with, the guy who had had a crush on me and another guy who I had often played video games with, but more due to other people than actually him. So in short, four people I wasn't really that good friends with. So I had to find new ones.

As many of you might now, I am an insanely introverted person. Well, at least to new people. People who have known me for a long time often can't believe that I am actually very shy and introverted. But that is that.

I made friends rather quickly, though. Well, at least I think so. I got along well with pretty much everyone, but I mostly spent my time with one or two of the girls. But in the end, I didn't really bond with them that much, because I haven't talked to anyone of them in years. It didn't matter anyway, because I had to repeat 8th grade, and had new classmates anyway. And that is where I made friends, who I still see to this day and am still friends with. I'm even living with one of them! Which is great to be honest.

In the two years I was with those people, I changed a lot. I was always the tomboy, the girl dude. The bro that just so happened to be a girl, but nobody cared. But with those people, I think I finally wasn't the bro friend anymore. I was still the stereotype "cool girl" especially because I wasn't girly (I'm still not) and I didn't give two shits what people thought (still don't). But I got more girlier than before. I dressed less manly, could finally get to like tank tops, skinny jeans, and shorts that didn't cover my knees. Even jewelry! Well rings, mostly.

But I was still me; boyish, reckless, climbing-on-trees-and-falling-down self-destroy-ish.

My dad always wanted a son and a daughter. And that is what he got. I am not the typical daughter, the typical girl. But I have a lot in common with my dad, so I think he got the daughter he wanted, or he came around to accept that I would never be the girly girl. He loves me and I know that.

I know my mom loves me. And that she accepts me for who I am. But I think she always had more issues with me being the way I am, than my dad had. With me being so very boyish. We always fought when buying clothes. Oh, the memories. It was a war.

After ninth grade I went to grammar school. I only knew my friend Angie, but soon enough I got along with pretty much everyone in that class. I think I was still the "cool girl" which got me friends easily. I got along with the girls, I got along with the boys. I think I was good friends with everyone, with some exceptions obviously. I had friends in other classes as well. I wasn't typically popular, mind you, but I am friendly. People get along with me. People tell me I'm funny, trustworthy, loyal, a good friend.

I made a habit of getting along with teachers, too. Mostly teachers I didn't have class with, but still. The class teacher of the one's we had PE with, was one of those teachers. After the first half year, I decided that he was going to be my victim, and so after the skiing camp he became exactly that. I mocked him constantly. After a fantastic incident - I shouted across the school yard that I thought his pink shirt was extremely manly - he asked one of his students who was my friend, if I meant harm or if I was always like that. She told him that this was just who I was, and from that moment on he returned my "bullying". We had a great time. I tried to sell him shoes, he was my go-to person for pain killers, he mocked my headaches, he told me with the biggest smile to "shut the fuck up". We had a great time. I always have one or two teachers like that at every school I go to. My English and German teacher was the other victim. He was a great teacher, and I think he appreciated me as a student. I met him yesterday and he was very pleased to hear that I was going to study English. We had bitch fights in the middle of class. While everyone looked at me like I had death wishes, we had the greatest fun mocking each other. It was great.

I am no teachers pet. I just feel like you need at least one teacher you actually like and have a good relationship with, or else you won't make it through school without constant mental breakdowns.

Anyways. I am rabbit trailing (I would like to personally thank Zachary Levi for adding this word to my vocabulary).

As some of you might know, I am a Christian. Not the "it says on my papers that I am a Christian, so I am one" but actually an active Christian. I go to church. I pray. I believe. I wouldn't call myself religious. I am a person of faith. There's a difference.

Anyways. When I was in second grade, my mom got a job where she had to work shifts. So we got someone where we could go eat, and spend our free afternoons at. They are great people and I'm still friends with them. Their two children are basically my little siblings and I consider their daughter one of my best friends.

These people, this couple, were Christians, and they went to church in our town. I don't know exactly when my mom converted, but I know that we started going to that church, and I made friends for life. When I was twelve or thirteen, there was a baptism service coming up and I told my mom that I wanted that, too.

Usually, it is waaaaay to early to get baptised at twelve or thirteen. Mostly, teens are "allowed" to do so when they're sixteen or eighteen or whatever. But I felt like this was the right thing to do, so I did. And they let me.

Over the course of my life as a person of faith, I have always searched for role models. Someone I could look up to in that aspect of my life. I found a few. The dad of the two girls I live with at the moment was one of them. He was the pastor of our church, is a missionary in Central Africa now. Then there were various people from our church who I looked up to because they just have so much faith and trust. And in 2012 someone new made his way into my line of sight and is now not only a role model as a person of faith, but for life in general. In 2012, through the movie Avengers and through Tom Hiddleston, I discovered Zachary Levi. Who is not only a brother in Christ, but an all around good person in general and just the sweetest guy I have ever had the good fortune of meeting.

Through various interviews and NerdHQ panels, Zac has over and over again inspired me in so many ways. He inspires me to be more kind, to be more gentle, to be more passionate. He inspires me to trust God, to bring important decisions before God. He inspires me so much. Every time NerdHQ comes around again, or every time I just watch panels throughout the year, I get giddy and I'm full of energy to live my dreams, go out and change the world, be the best version of myself.

This year I have had the wonderful opportunity to finally attend NerdHQ and meet Zac for the first time. And he did not disappoint. He was everything I wished him to be. Even better. He gave me something so precious that I feel like this will fuel me for a very long time. With a simple sentence he changed my life more than he already has before. And I am eternally grateful for that.

"What's your story?" Well, my story is still in the first chapters. There's a lot more to come. I've been through things that I wish I hadn't. I lost people very dear to me. I'm still trying to find out some things about me. But there's one thing I know. God will help me write my story. He will be there every step of the way. God will put people in my life that help me figure out who I am, what to do, and where to go. He put Zac and NerdHQ in my life for a reason. And there's no way I am letting that go. Ever.

I told my mom yesterday that I plan to never miss NerdHQ ever again, if I can anyhow avoid it. She said, "that's big talk." But I'm not kidding. I will do everything in my power to never miss the awesomeness that is NerdHQ ever again. Those are four days of granted happiness. Why should I ever wanna miss that again? There are likeminded, amazing people who I wouldn't be able to see anywhere else. They don't live in Switzerland. They live all over America.

My story is about a girl who loves stories. And storytellers. I would love to be one, too. I get inspired every other day by stories I read or hear or see, and I would like to give back. Tell stories to inspire future generations, the way people like Zac have inspired me.

My story is about finding purpose in inspiring others. My story is about being passionate, "loving too much", knowing a shit ton of "fun facts" about movies and books and people I've never met in my life. My story is about me. Your average neighbourhood nerd. The kid next door. The introverted kid who doesn't seem introverted at all, once you get to know them.

So, that is me. What's your story?

[turn-it-off-5s]

ZELDER THAT IS A LOT OF SIBLINGS !!!

Zelder : YES!! And I'm going to tell you about each and every one of them!

Zelder: First up is Noel ! She's 12 and the youngest in the family. Mom says she's going through a bit of a "phase" at the moment but- I guess it's a healthy way of expressing herself ? But anyway, she's great at singing and won quite a few talent shows despite being super shy and, as most of my siblings are, she's great on the farm! She mostly helps with the planting when she's not busy with homework. Oh and I may or may not have cried when she was born. In my defense she was the cutest baby ever. (still kinda is)

Zelder : Next is Philippe. He's 13 and sadly going through this horrible phase of teenage hood where everything is terrible, awkward and. Very sweaty. Hang in there buddy. I heard he spends a lot more time in his room playing video games now but he does have some sort of connection with cows- not in a bad way obviously, the cows really love him is all ! Dad keeps sending me pictures of him stuck in a field because of a cow napping on him. Dad thinks it's absolutely hilarious

Zelder: Oh Bertie!!! I love her- she's 15 and insanely talented! We spent a lot of time watching cartoons together and she kept drawing the characters so now she is an amazing artist! She wants to be an animator so my parents are trying to save up money to send her to a good art school once she's done with high school. She's also very funny and nice and not as shy as you'd expect her to be, I love spending time with her whenever I can!

Zelder : Woop woop! Give it up for the twins! (I'm sorry I don't know what I tried to do here oh gosh) Caroline and Alexis ! Both are 17 but Caroline was born 20 minutes earlier and won't let him live it down. These two are like cats and dogs : Caroline has always been this very extroverted, bright and childish girl while Alexis is much more introverted, calm and- no offense Alex if you're reading this but- terrible at any sort of social interaction. He's very different from the rest of the family but I do like that about him ! Oh and the twins are both Very very strong, I'm sure they could lift a truck if they wanted to!

Next in the family is me so- hi ! Yall already know me so let's move on to...

Zelder : woah I'm surprised I never talked to yall about him before! Okay- no joke but his name is Micheal and he's 20. Yes we do make a lot of jokes about him and Micheals having the same name and my parents would go around at church telling people about their two sons named Micheal or that they should make a group called "The Micheals" since they're both musicians- it was actually very cute~ Anyhow! He's a Mormon like the rest of the family but he decided to not go on his mission to focus on his music career. He's a singer and guitarist! He's got a few songs out which I listen to a lot and my parents try to drag Philippe and Noel to every single one of his concerts. I hope I'll be able to see him play soon!

Zelder: Oooh Jacqueline~ She's 21 and almost done with her mission in Switzerland! We haven't gotten to talk to her a lot since her mission started but let's just say she's doing way better at it than I am (her district is still standing and now that I'm thinking about it, it's not a very high standard...).

Growing up with her she was always really relaxed and chill, she's great at handling other people's tantrums and giving vague yet good advice. She has the same "older sibling vibes" as Davis so I really appreciate having this little piece of home around. Also she has a huge collection of crystals back home and a Kidz Bop mixtape she made for us when we were kids! I miss her a lot ❤️

Zelder : This is Charlotte! She's 26 and recently got married to a man she met on her mission in France. They're both in America right now but they're saving up money to go live in Paris. It's very slow since she's a French teacher in a little high school in Texas but she's very hard working and determined to make her dreams come true so I'm sure she can do it ! What else... Oh right. We used to get into a lot of arguments about everything when we were younger but I still cried when she left to go on her mission... And at her wedding... But I can finally say now that I love her a lot and I know deep down I cared for her back then... She will definitely be using this to blackmail me later. Oh gosh...

Zelder: And finally we have Joseph (we all call him Joe), the oldest at 29 years old ! We are honestly all so proud of him since he dealt with a lot of of problems with his mental health and yknow it was... A lot. But now look at him ! He used to love baking pies with mom and now he has a lovely pie shop in the city, he has an amazing wife and the cutest daughter, his recovery is going so well and he's a wonderful person ! He also spent a lot of time elder Micheals (not my brother) at the worst of his depression, which helped a lot since I didn't always know how to help him and he was there for me too when I wasn't doing too well either. The three of us are really close ! It's amazing to see him now as an adult, he's so wise and so much happier. Things really do get better and I couldn't be more proud of my big brother.

[quirklessbunny]

Bury Me

Day 2 of Whumptober: Explosions

This didn’t turn out quite the way I wanted to, but I’m trying not to get to far behind lol

Ch 1/? (Will probably be updated after October)

CW: Explosions, cursing/swearing, panic attacks, avalanches, exhaustion

Relationship: TodoDeku (only implied thus far)

Izuku is overjoyed when a trip to Switzerland is announced. They'll be learning skiing techniques that can help in snow rescues, should they ever find themselves needing them. In their last year of UA, it's the only thing left that Izuku thinks they need to learn. At least, for environmental rescues. His personal favourite was the back country hiking lessons, that was incredibly fun, and he can't imagine that back country skiing will be much different.

They're going to be put into groups for the trip. These groups, Aizawa explains, are for safety. They'll get more information when they arrive in Switzerland, but their groups will be posted early the next morning. Aizawa hands out information packets, then goes and flops down on the floor behind his desk, leaving them to read and talk amongst themselves.

Izuku smiles happily, turning to his friends. “This is amazing, we'll finally be able to say we're certified to rescue in any environment. One step closer to being the best heroes we can be,” he says, smiling wider. “And, I've heard that the teams in Switzerland are headed by the snow hero, Frost! He can control snow to an extent, and he usually uses it to slow avalanches to give civilians time to get away. I read that avalanches can move up to 130 kilometres an hour after only six seconds.”

“Yes, Midoriya, that is exactly why we need to learn the safest way possible to deal with back country snow rescues. Beacons and avalanche bags can only go so far in preventing deaths.” Iida smiles at him. “Leave it to Midoriya to already know about the lead rescuer. I have no doubt this trip will be both informative and fun.”

Izuku nods, smiling wider. That night, he double checks the packing list before putting his duffel together. He can't believe he will be meeting Pro Hero Frost, it's nearly a dream come true. A few years ago, he never would have guessed he'd be here now, but he's unbelievably proud of how far he's come.

With this certification, he's just one step closer to where he knows he can be. The number one Pro Hero slot is just calling his name.

Going to sleep that night is difficult, but he knows that sleeping will make it come even faster. The next morning, he crowds the bulletin board with the rest of the class, looking between the different posters for his name. 'Group 3: Midoriya Izuku, Bakugou Katsuki, Kirishima Eijiro, Uraraka Ochaco'. Izuku lights up when he reads the listing. Three of his best friends. It's definitely going to make the activities twice as fun.

He wonders why they were selected this way, though. Is there something to do with their quirks that make them a particularly good set? He knows his speed would be a good in the event of an avalanche. He can move quickly, and it makes sense why he and Iida are on different teams. Theoretically, the heat from Katsuki's palms would help with unburying someone, but only cautiously, and with the hope that they don't accidentally trigger another avalanche or burn the victim. Ochaco would definitely be an asset, though it's still only theoretical, she could lift the snow away from large patches an assist in removing the snow faster, increasing the odds of the victim surviving. Eijiro's hardening quirk would also be amazing for digging.

“-ku. Deku. Deku!”

Someone yelling his name breaks through his thoughts, making him look up.

“H-huh? Sorry, Kacchan, I was just thinking.”

“Yeah, I know. We all know. We all <i> heard </i> what you were thinking about, Deku.” Katsuki gives him a slight smile, then shoves his hand against the side of Izuku's head. “It's a good thing you don't walk around thinking dirty thoughts, everyone would know just what kinks you're into, shitty nerd. Aizawa said we're all supposed to get into cars to head to the airport now, so go get your bag.”

“Oh thanks!”

The ride to the airport is short, and a bit of excited anxiety builds in Izuku's chest. This is actually happening, he thinks. It's amazing! He wants to sit next to Katsuki, but he flopped down with Eijiro, so he snags Shoto and pulls him to a set of seats with what should be a good view.  

“What do you think Frost is going to be like in real life? I always try to imagine meeting the pros but it's always different from what I think it will be like. For example, meeting All Might was kind of depressing. I mean, for a bit he wasn't really the guy I saw on tv, he spent a lot of time in his smaller form when speaking to me, but when he was All Might, he was everything I ever imagined he would be. I think Frost is going to be what the news reports say about him, but unless an avalanche happens, I doubt we'll get to see the full scope of his quirk. And I'd be alright with that, cause I don't want anyone to get hurt.”

Shoto hums in thought. “I dunno. I guess as long as he's not like my father, completely two faced, then he's pretty cool.” He likes Izuku's passion for heroes, even if he doesn't share it. He sets his hand on Izuku's and smiles slightly. “I'm going to nap for a little while, but I would like to hear what you have to say about Frost.”

Izuku smiles and nods. “Alright. It's a pretty long flight, we'll have plenty of time,” he says. It was almost 26 hours, from what he remembers. He's probably going to sleep as well. The itinerary says they'd land, head to the place they're staying, which was about an hour drive, and then they'd get to sleep for a while, since walking on avalanche terrain while exhausted isn't a good idea. Izuku practically plasters himself to the window as the plane takes off, eyes shining with excitement.

This is absolutely so cool!

And it is, for the first few hours of the flight. He watches All Might movies on the little screen affixed to the seat in front of him, he plays on his phone and reads a little. He even does his hand exercises, but it becomes incredibly boring. He's trying not to move too much, because Shoto's head is resting on his shoulder and he doesn't want to wake him.

Twelve hours into the flight Izuku is shifting every few moments, unable to disperse the energy coursing through him. He gets up and walks up and down the aisle of the plane, wringing his hands and muttering to himself about different heroes. A few people stop him to make sure he's alright and yes, he is. He just hasn't been on many planes before and long flights are hard on him.

He's sitting with his face pressed to the window when they enter Swiss airspace. He bounces a little in excitement, patting Shoto's arm quickly, then moving to patting his leg. “Look Sho, it's there, it's there,” he says happily, hand slapping down on Shoto's knee a little harder.

And Shoto smiles and nods, leaning over him to see as well. “Wow, it's beautiful,” he whispers, setting his chin on Izuku's shoulder.

Izuku blushes darkly, turning his head to look at Shoto. He's not used to that kind of contact still, but he relaxes into it and nods, looking through the window again.

“The Alps are supposed to be absolutely gorgeous. I can't wait to see them. The place we're going is near a small town, I hope we get to spend some time in it. I want to get a present for my mama and d- All Might.” Izuku smiles, face still pressed to the window during the entire landing. The excitement from before hits him full force again, and he's bouncing in his seat. He doesn't even feel tired, despite being awake as long as he has been. He gets off the plan, duffel slung over his back as he looks around at the little trinket shops in the airport.

Aizawa ushers them along quickly, they have a schedule to keep after all. He doesn't mind, he's more focused on what they're going to get to do next.

Izuku can't sit still in the bus, he's wiggling around and patting his own leg and Shoto's leg, trying to get some of the energy to disperse. He quickly finds that the excitement is almost overwhelming and breathing becomes a little hard. He turns to look at Shoto, eyes wide as his chest feels tight. He grips his leg, mind slowing.

It's too much, too much everything. He can't seem to breathe right. His hands feel foreign as he drags them over his face, pulling down on the skin of his cheeks. He thinks he can faintly hear someone talking to him, trying to get his attention.

He can't focus on the sound.

Everything feels muted as he gasps for air, his chest tight and uncomfortable. He scratches at his cheeks and wrists, wanting to ground himself, it's not helping. He closes his eyes tightly, tears flowing down his cheeks.

When he finally manages to breathe properly again, he can feel everyone's eyes on him.

He's so embarrassed, he hasn't worked himself up like that since he was a kid. He's had panic attacks, but this wasn't even that. Izuku assures everyone that he's alright, then turns to look out the window, hoping deeply that the topic is dropped.

The hotel coming into sight is a relief. He wants to drop into a bed and just sleep this off, now. Tomorrow will be better. When he has an actual objective, it's a lot easier to organize his thoughts to prevent himself from overloading like he just had. Izuku stands up and heads inside, waiting for their room assignments.

Bakugou Katsuki and Izuku Midoriya, room 18.  He takes his key and heads up to the room, dropping his bag by his bed and just flopping down. He's barely aware of someone else coming in as well before he's completely out.

The next morning, he heads downstairs and eats a quick breakfast with the rest of the class before they file into a room full of tables. Each spot has a backpack and a few different types of gear on it. The maps and compasses they already know how to use, but there's a weird electronic Izuku has never seen before. He doesn't touch anything yet, he doesn't want to screw anything up.

A few minutes after everyone settles down, Aizawa steps to the front.

“No one is going out on the snow today. Today we're learning how to use everything in front of you in a snow scape, how to put skis on, how to recognize an avalanche zone and the safest way to move across them, and more. I'm going to turn you guys over to Frost's assistants. I expect you to respect them more than you do me and give them your full attention. Remember that any wrong move in a snow scape could ultimately end with you killing the person you're trying to rescue. Don't let that happen.” Aizawa finishes speaking then walks to the back of the room, slumping down in a chair. This whole jet lag thing has him completely exhausted, Izuku thinks.

Izuku pulls out a notebook, looking up towards the front again. Two women are standing there, both dressed in what he assumes are their suits for rescues. In case of emergency, he guesses. He doesn't recognize either of them as pros, wondering if maybe they're underground pros like Eraserhead.

The class is long, but informative. Izuku has several pages of notes on the matter, and a full understanding of how to use all the equipment. That is, except for the skis. It's awkward to just stand in skis without snow, he thinks, but it's necessary so they can see everything that these skis do. They're shown how the breakaway works, then they're brought outside so they can practice a few different techniques in a safe zone.

Izuku is completely exhausted by the time the day is done. He sits at the table and slowly eats, legs exhausted in a way they never have been before. Not that he's complaining, it's a lot of hard work in the name of becoming a hero, but sometimes that hard work doesn't feel very rewarding. Like when his legs are aching and numb.

By the time he heads to bed, Katsuki is already asleep in the other bed. Not that he minds much, he's not interested in talking either. Not right now, anyway. He's too tired to stay awake. He collapses into bed, sleeping on top of the blankets once more.

When he opens his eyes again, he doesn't want to move. God, he's so sore, but he peels himself off the bed to shower. When he steps out, he starts to shiver a little bit. It's so cold here, he thinks. He hopes that Katsuki's quirk isn't messed up by this.

He'd desperately regret hoping that.

Breakfast is quick, no one eating as much as they really could, too excited to get out onto the snowpack again. The room is buzzing with excited talking as groups come together, snow gear and packs pulled on quickly.

Izuku just listens quietly as he clips his beacon onto his backpack. Frost brings them all back together, leading them outside and helping them put their skis on. After a quick safety speech, they're sent up into the snow.

Izuku slides forward, testing himself, then slides himself forward. “Alright, how do we want to walk? The person at the end is most in danger of getting swept off by an avalanche, so I think Ochaco or I would be the best option, since we both have the most chance of getting out of the way if it happens. We should also stay close, we don't want to lose one another.”

Katsuki hums in thought. “It would make sense if Eijiro were in front. His quirk would help for digging the best, and he should be out of the way. Ochaco after him, and then me, and then you. Ochaco can float herself and Eijiro if she has to, and I could probably propel myself up with you, but if the cold stops my quirk, then Izuku can run us out of the way. We'd each be paired up and not getting too far away from our partners.”

The others agree, and they head up the mountain.

Soon, Izuku's team is making their way through the practical part of the exam. They're doing a good job, digging up the mannequins and setting them on a 'medical square'.

At least it was going fine.

Until a villain appeared. One that Katsuki recognized immediately. “Hand job? I fucking...I fucking thought you got arrested forever ago,” he growls, sparks flying off his hands. “No worries, though, I'll put your ass right back behind those bars. It's where you belong.” He launches forward, snow flying up under his shoes. He sets off an explosion towards Tomura, knocking the creepy fuck backwards. A little down the mountain he hears a scream of his name.

A deafening crack startles him. It's like nothing he's ever heard before, and the ground below him crumbles and cracks, like a pane of glass. He panics, blasting himself up and way, further up the hill, before remember Izuku. He was below him on the mountain.

[pug-bitch]

That’s not why I’m going (11)

Forgiving yourself

Book: The Royal Romance

Pairing: Drake Walker x Amara Suarez

Rating: some foul language, some extremely suggestive, and not one, but 2 VERY steamy scenes, around 60 diamonds each :D. (Yes, it got a little out of hand) This is absolutely NOT appropriate for people under 18. This also alludes to pretty disturbing content, regarding Amara’s backstory (trigger warning: death - if I say anything else, it will spoil the end of the chapter, but if you feel like this could trigger you, you could stop before the last section of the chapter!).

Word count: 4,130 (let me know if the ‘keep reading’ cutoff isn’t working well!)

Notes: This picks up pretty much where we left off, during the last night in Lythikos, starting with Drake’s POV.

I know I said yesterday that I wouldn’t be able to write much this week because of work, and it’s still true. The next chapter will probably come later this week or even during the weekend. I’ll keep you guys posted.

Also, I wanted to add a disclaimer. I disagree with Drake, I think Monster-in-law is an awesome movie and I love Jane Fonda.

*****

They had been standing there for a while, watching their friends have fun, and then Amara joined in for a couple minutes to try out a skating move taught by Hana. She had left her phone with Drake, not wanting to risk shattering it in a fall. Drake was holding it in his hand, when it suddenly started vibrating.

Afraid to see the dreaded name ‘Michael’ pop up, he carefully looks at the screen.

No Michael this time, it just said ‘Papi’.

‘Suarez,’ he yells out, ‘your phone’s ringing!’

She stops smiling and skates back towards him, visibly stressed out. ‘Who is it?’

‘I think it’s your dad.’

She sighs and says ‘I should take this. He never calls, it could be serious.’

He nods as she holds onto his arm to remove her skates and get back into her boots.

She adds: ‘Do you know where I can find a quiet space to call him back?’

‘Yeah, hold on a second.’ He waves to Liam, not wanting him to shit a brick again when he disappears with Amara.

Liam approaches, and asks ‘Is everything ok?’

‘Yeah,’ Drake replies, ‘I’m gonna take Amara to a silent place, she needs to call her dad back, ok?’

Liam, visibly relieved that Drake is now sort of asking him permission to spend alone time with her, acquiesces and goes back to his ice skating routine.

‘Alright Suarez, let’s go. Is it still ringing?’

‘No, he’s probably leaving a voicemail, but I’m gonna call him back. He had a minor heart attack about a year ago, so everytime he calls, I always expect the worst, you know?’

Drake smiles and nods, gently taking her hand, now that they’re out of view.

‘Here we go, this should be quiet and still within wifi range. I’ll leave you to it.’

She grabs him by the forearm. ‘No. Stay, please?’

He didn’t expect that. She was so private that the fact that she wanted him to be next to her while she calls her dad truly made his heart flutter.

She hits the FaceTime button and her dad picks up immediately.

‘Mija!’ he says enthusiastically.

‘Papi, are you ok?’

‘Yeah yeah, don’t worry! I left you a voicemail, I knew that you would worry otherwise. I’m all good, sweetie.’

‘Papi, this is a FaceTime call, please stop showing me the inside of your ear.’

Drake chuckled. Dads.

‘Ohhh, so I can see you? Wow, qué bonita eres, mija! What’s up with the snow? Weren’t you supposed to be in Italy?’

‘I’m in Cordonia, Papi. It has several climates, and now we’re in the North, near Switzerland. Isn’t it pretty?’

‘Oh it sure is, honey. Look, I don’t want to keep you from your friends, I just wanted to tell you something, ok?’

She sighs but her smile never falters. ‘Tell me, Dad.’

‘I talked to Michael. He said your last phone call did not go very well. He made a mistake sweetie. He didn’t mean what he said, and Lord knows I don’t agree with what he said to you either.’ Her dad’s voice cracks. ‘We miss him every day mija, but I also miss you. Please stop punishing yourself.’

Amara’s eyes fill with tears. Drake has to fight his urge to dive in and hug her tight. ‘Papi, stop… Please…’

Tears stream down her face, and her dad is audibly crying too. Drake wonders if he should do something. ‘Mira Amara, it was not your fault. Those things happen, unfortunately. It’s been two years. Please start forgiving yourself. Please baby. I miss seeing you smile. Michael regrets, too.’

Amara tries to collect herself. ‘I know, he apologized. I just can’t look at Callie’s little face without...thinking of Sergio.’

Drake hears her dad muffle a sob. ‘Me neither baby. But Nancy and I are worried about you. So is Michael. Please start living your life again. Can you promise me?’

Amara takes a deep breath. ‘Te prometo, Papi. Voy a vivir de nuevo.’

‘Gracias, mija. Te amo mucho.’

‘Te amo también.’

Drake can’t speak a lot of  Spanish, but he understands that this is a private moment, and he should walk away. But as soon as he turns around, Amara calls out for him. ‘Drake! Can you...stay for a sec?’ She whispers, ‘Say hi to my dad?’

He’s taken aback, but moved that she wants them to meet. She probably wants to show her dad that she’s not alone in the snow, but still, it creates a warm feeling in his chest. ‘I’d love to.’

He walks in front of the camera, as Amara introduces him. ‘Dad, I want you to meet my friend Drake. He’s been an amazing support here, and I want you to know that I’m not alone, ok?’

‘Nice to meet you, Mr. Suarez,’ Drake says with a wave and a charming smile.

‘Nice to meet you too, Drake, please call me Jorge.’

‘Deal. How are you doing, Jorge?’

‘Good, better now that I know my daughter has people to look out for her, you know.’

‘You can count on me, I got her back, ok?’ He wraps Amara in a hug, and Jorge shows a relieved smile.

They say their goodbyes, and start walking back to the group, in silence. Drake knew there was something dark in her past, but he had no idea Amara was feeling so guilty about something that had happened two years ago. Seeing her break down had broken his heart, and he wanted to help her overcome whatever had happened. He definitely didn’t want to pry, but he also hoped she would open up to him. Trusting him with meeting her dad was a good start. Drake breaks the ice. ‘I see where you get your looks from.’

Amara bursts out laughing. ‘Oh my God, you did not just say that my dad is hot.’

‘Well, he’s got your dashing smile, that’s all I’m saying.’

‘Shut up, Walker. Thank you for humoring me. I didn’t mean to drag you into my family drama.’

‘Please. It was my pleasure. Your dad sounds really sweet.’

‘On top of being hot? Yeah, he’s amazing. I lucked out.’ She pauses, and stares at the horizon. ‘I hope I didn’t scare you off. Meeting the dad pretty early on was probably not a sexy move.’

‘I like that you asked. And you were right to, because now your dad knows that you’re not alone out here, and that you’ve got me.’

She gives him a playful smile. ‘Oh yeah? Are you gonna protect me from the evils of this world?’

‘Well, I think you can defend yourself just fine, Detective,’ he whispers. ‘But what I’m here for, is to remind you that you’re amazing and that, just like your dad says, you should live your life on your terms.’

She smiles at him earnestly, and they peacefully rejoin the group.

*****

‘The bouquet of this one is very interesting!’

Drake, Amara, and Olivia were rolling their eyes throughout all of Kiara’s descriptions of each wine they tasted. Maxwell, wanting to stir shit as always, made sure to ask her for her opinion every time she took a sip, because he got a kick out of watching his friends cringe.

Amara had tried what felt like fifteen different wines and was starting to feel it. She was a tad dizzy and even the cheese Olivia had put out for them to nibble on wasn’t helping much. Everyone around was quite drunk, which she suspected was exactly Olivia’s plan. Liam especially was getting extremely giggly, and Olivia was all over him. The only person keeping it together was, unsurprisingly, Madeleine, whose stick up her ass was as stiff as ever.

‘We should play a game,’ says Maxwell excitedly.

‘YES!’ Hana yells, barely able to stand on her feet.

Olivia sighs but gives in. ‘Alright, what do you have in mind, Beaumont?’

‘Well,’ he continues, getting giddier by the second, ‘we could play Never Have I Ever.’

‘Oh shocker,’ Olivia replies, ‘that’s all you ever want to play.’

‘Because it’s FUN!’ he says loudly.

Olivia concedes and asks who wants to start. Obviously, Maxwell is the first to raise his hand. ‘Never have I ever...seen Liam’s butt!’

He giggles so hard that even Olivia has trouble remaining serious. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the nobility of Cordonia. (Plus Drake and Amara.)

No one drinks, except Drake and Olivia. Amara squeals ‘Are you kidding me guys? You’re drinking to this?’

Drake shrugs, ‘We’ve played sports together. We’ve seen each other’s butts.’

Olivia adds, ‘And when you’re three years old, butts are not that big a deal.’

Amara cannot believe this is the state of Cordonia right now. ‘Alright, drink away! I guess it’s your turn, Olivia.’

She clears her throat and carefully announces: ‘Never have I ever had sex in a swimming pool.’

Madeleine sighs with disgust, turns around and leaves. Maxwell says sarcastically: ‘...and she was never seen again!’

Everyone bursts out laughing, and most of the crowd starts drinking. They go another round, and it’s Olivia’s turn again. ‘Never have I ever had sex with a cop.’ She holds Drake’s gaze as she finishes her sentence, watching him drink. Jeez, Amara thinks. Olivia was really enjoying her newfound information.

Liam raises an eyebrow. ‘When have you ever had sex with a cop, Drake?’

He coughs. ‘I don’t tell you everything, Your Highness.’

The crowd oohs, and Hana’s turn comes again. ‘Never have I ever had a sibling!’

Amara knows this was an innocent way to make people drink, but her heart drops. She reluctantly drinks, as she watches Drake take a sip too. Hana couldn’t know how much this sentence had hurt her, of course, but still. She takes another big gulp, hoping for the pain to go away.

And it does, for a while; it even gives way to more fun, as she enjoys the company of her new friends. It was nice hanging out with these guys, and to forget about the competition. They go a few more rounds, until people start to scatter before dinner. Penelope and Kiara go back to their rooms to change, and Liam goes to Olivia’s study to reply to some official emails. Not sure it’s a good idea in his drunken state, but he’s the boss.

The rest of them continue to play for a bit, drinking more and more wine. Amara can’t keep her eyes off of Drake, and his muscular arms every time he takes a sip. She flashes back to him pulling her back into bed that very morning, begging her to wait a bit before getting up. She thinks about his kiss, his smell, his touch. God, she’s drunk. She’s not even trying to hide the fact that she’s staring, but why should she? It’s just Max, Olivia and Hana. They don’t care.

Drake excuses himself to go to the bathroom. Amara waits a couple of seconds, and makes up an excuse about having to call her roommate. If only Mia knew she was her alibi, she’d be proud.

She follows Drake down the hall, and waits until he comes out of the bathroom. She pushes him back in, a hand on his mouth to muffle his gasp.

‘Shh,’ she says. ‘Be quiet.’

‘God, Suarez,’ he whispers, his words slurred, courtesy of the wine. ‘You scared me.’

‘Not my intention,’ she says, unzipping his pants.

‘What are you doing?’

‘Nothing,’ she responds playfully, before planting a deep kiss on his lips.

Her hands roam inside his jeans, as he quietly moans. She finds his already hard dick, and strokes it enthusiastically.

‘You’re crazy,’ he slurs. ‘What if someone notices…’

‘Shh, everything’s good… we’ve got some time…’

She gets on her knees, not even thinking about the fact that this is a bathroom floor. She sets Drake’s cock free, and runs her tongue across his length. He moans, his eyes closed. ‘Mmm Amara…’

She wraps her hand around his balls, drawing more moans and groans from him, and takes his tip in her mouth. God, he tastes good. She’d wanted to do this all day. His breathing quickens as she takes him in her mouth, still massaging his balls. His hands stroke her hair, and follow the movements of her head.

As he is getting harder than she thought was possible, he guides her back up, kissing her deeply and unzipping her jeans. He quickly puts his hand in her underwear, caressing her already wet slit. She lets out a moan, muffled by Drake’s kiss.

He pulls down her pants and underwear, and props her up on the sink. After teasing her entrance with the tip of his cock, her moans let him know that he’s welcome to enter her. He pushes himself inside her, as she grabs on to his ass, guiding him in and out.

‘Fuck me,’ she whispers in his ear. His rhythm accelerates, and Amara feels waves of pleasure invading her. She’s still sore from their previous encounters, but she doesn’t care. She just wants him inside her, as deep as possible. She wraps her legs around him tighter, pulling him deeper.

‘I’m so close,’ he whispers, and so is she, she feels like she’s about to explode. She kisses him more passionately, their tongues enmeshed together, when she finally feels her orgasm rush through her body. She tries to remain quiet, but her panting does not leave any room for doubt. Drake follows suit right away; he tries to pull out, but Amara’s legs are still firmly wrapped around him, and he comes inside her.

Still out of breath, they clean up and put their clothes back on. ‘God, Amara, that was amazing.’

She kisses him on the lips, and says ‘So amazing. Thank you.’

‘Are you kidding? Thank YOU. Is it ok that I didn’t pull out?’

‘I’m on the pill, don’t worry. I just really wanted to feel you…’

He smiles and kisses her deeply. ‘Ok. Let me come out first. They must think I’m pretty sick by now.’

‘Ew. Go. I’ll fix my hair.’

*****

No one had noticed how long they’d been gone, thanks to Olivia’s bottomless wine collection. Dinner had been pleasant, they’d all been in a terrific mood, again thanks to all the wine. Madeleine had come back, and they’d all steered clear of any sexual topics so as not to scare her away again, even if the perspective of scaring her away was very tempting.

Fortunately for Drake and Amara, everyone was very tired and eager to go to bed, so they didn’t have to wait very long until they had their alone time. Drake was looking forward to being able to just be with her, and relax. Maybe also have sex again, although he didn’t want her to think he was a perv.

They get settled in Amara’s room this time, and she immediately gets comfy in her pyjamas, which are basically glorified underwear. Drake doesn’t complain.

‘Mind if I get comfortable too?’

She raises an eyebrow. ‘Suit yourself.’

He takes off his jeans and button-down shirt, leaving him in his boxers and T-shirt. Amara’s eyes light up. ‘Are you gonna think I’m an insatiable ho if I tell you you look really hot?’ she asks.

He chuckles. ‘I was gonna ask you the same thing.’

They get into bed, comfortably snuggled up in each other’s arms, and Amara turns on her computer. They briefly argue about what movie to watch, and even if he really doesn’t want to watch Monster-in-law, Drake enjoys the very normal, very intimate banter. So, this is what would happen if they were openly together? They’d have a normal life, punctuated with tiny fights about horrible rom coms starring Jane Fonda? Life could be a lot worse.

They settle for Hitch, which isn’t much better, but Drake likes Will Smith, so he agrees. About five minutes into the movie, he starts kissing Amara’s neck, stroking her stomach under her pyjama top.

‘Mr. Walker, is that a boner on my lower back, or are you just happy to see me?’

‘I don’t think that’s how the saying goes. Because the answer is, both.’

She laughs. He runs his hands higher under her top, and finds her breasts. God, he loves her breasts. Big, round, perky, the exact ones he would draw, if he was asked to draw his ideal breasts. He kneads them in his hands, gently pinching her nipples, which draws a few moans from Amara, who is starting to wiggle her ass on his erection. They truly couldn’t get enough of each other. They had started having sex not even 24 hours ago and they were already beginning round 5. He couldn’t help it, though. Not only did she make his heart skip a beat, she also gave him a boner every time she moved.

‘Do you want me to stop?’ he asks, not wanting to initiate if she was too tired.

‘Mmm,’ she moans, ‘please don’t stop.’

God, they were horndogs. He slides one of his hands off her breast, down towards the waistband of her little shorts. He knew she was going commando under there, and it drove him crazy. He slips his hand in her shorts, and as he finds her pussy and starts caressing it, her moans become more intense. ‘Oh, Drake,’ she whispers. She is so wet, still. He wants her so much. He loves her body, her curves, her skin, the smell of her hair...he couldn’t get enough. His cock is so hard it’s starting to hurt. He continues rubbing it on her ass, and she pushes hard against it.

He circles her clit with his finger, and slides one finger inside her. She lets out a faint gasp. ‘Two fingers,’ she says. He complies. His fingers enter her again and again, as she moves against him. Then, it looks like she can’t take it any longer. ‘Slide inside me…’ she whispers, turning her head slightly to kiss him.

She doesn’t have to tell him twice. He swiftly pulls her shorts aside, frees his cock from his boxers, and slides it into her dripping wet pussy, as instructed. She groans loudly. ‘Fuck… it feels so good…’

He realizes they’d both forgotten about their responsible behaviors as they had forgone condoms. Amara was on the pill though, and they’d had a conversation this morning about being tested after their last partner.

God, she feels good around him. He loses himself in the moment as he gently fucks her from behind, still caressing her breasts with one hand, and her clit with the other.

She turns around to kiss him deeply. He fucking loves her lips, the way she kisses him, gentle and sexy at the same time. Her kiss becomes more eager, and she whispers, ‘Get on top of me.’

He loves that she’s bossing him around like this. He would basically do anything she wanted him to do to her, and he finds these instructions extremely endearing and arousing.

So, he complies, and she gets on her back, her legs spread. He pauses for a second, to admire her. He pulls her top off, and gives more attention to her breasts before slipping back inside her.

He makes love to her for a long while, both of them very much entangled in each other’s kisses, and their bodies as close as possible. Amara holds him tight, still wrapping her legs around him to push him deeper inside her. Drake has to regroup and avoid coming too early; he wants the moment to last.

Finally, she asks him to go faster, as she’s getting close. He makes her come, and he loves feeling her contracting around him. It drives him over the edge, and it’s not long until he loses control too, exhausted and satisfied.

They fall asleep in each other’s arms, Drake being the big spoon. Before drifting off to sleep, Drake showers Amara with a million neck kisses. He thinks about how lucky he is to have found her, and how important she’d become in just a couple of weeks. He didn’t know much about what he wanted out of life, but he knew one thing: he had no intention of losing her.

*****

Amara woke up in a sweat, out of breath, with horrifying images running through her head. She calms down when she sees Drake next to her, his arms around her, and a worried look upon his face.

‘Amara, are you ok?’

She thought she was. They’d had an amazing, intimate night. When she fell asleep, she was so blissfully happy that she’d never thought that she would have the nightmare again, especially not tonight.

But the subconscious was a complex machine. Even though her night of lovemaking with Drake was on her mind when she drifted off to sleep, her demons regained control of her brain during the night. Probably because of Olivia’s little discovery about her past, and, most importantly, her talk with her dad about forgiving herself.

What she realized was that she couldn’t run away from it. Even in the happiest of moments, as she was entangled with the man she was falling for, her past was catching up to her.

‘Amara? Please say something. You were having something like a panic attack. Like you did on the plane. Are you ok?’

She’d have to deal with her subconscious. Maybe it was time.

‘I’m fine, I--’

She chokes up. She can’t even control it. She’s just so afraid of what he’s gonna think of her once he knows what she’s responsible for, and she doesn’t want anything to change, ever. The way he looks at her… She’s never experienced that before. And, despite her best efforts, she is convinced that she doesn’t deserve it.

‘Amara, don’t cry...what’s going on? Is it about your talk with your dad?’

She can’t do anything but nod, tears streaming down her face. She realizes she’s naked, and she wraps herself in the sheet, as if to protect herself.

‘Baby please, talk to me…’

He hugs her tight, and strokes her hair. How did she get so lucky? Was he going to be disgusted by who she really was, and leave her?

‘Drake, I...I have nightmares. PTSD.’

He nods, an understanding look on his face. ‘I figured. Did something happen when you were in the NYPD?’

She nods, unable to stop the tears.

‘You can tell me anything, Amara. I promise.’

She remembers the promise she made her dad, just the previous afternoon. To forgive herself and live. She has to tell him. If she can’t tell Drake, she can’t tell anyone.

She takes a deep breath. ‘My brother. He--he died.’ She pauses, and more tears flow out of her eyes.

Drake is still holding her tight. ‘Was your brother named Sergio? Is that who you were talking about on the phone?’

She nods. Damn, it feels weird to hear his name out of Drake’s mouth. They would never be able to meet. Sergio would have loved him, though. ‘Yeah. He...he was a cop, too. My partner was out sick that day and I--I’ She exhales. ‘I needed someone to go interrogate a suspect, and I asked him to go with me. It was supposed to be a routine interrogation, and we didn’t--didn’t gear up.’ She sobbed. ‘The perp had a gun. Tried to run away, we chased him into a corner. Pulled out his gun. Shot it. Sergio leapt in front of me to protect me.’

That’s all she can handle. She breaks down. Drake is stroking her hair, and kissing the top of her head. ‘I’m so sorry, Amara, that’s horrible. I’m so sorry.’ His voice cracks. She’s afraid to look at him. What if she sees something different in his eyes?

Still, she’d have to know. She sniffs, and takes a look at Drake. He has tears in his eyes. ‘I’m so sorry, Amara. I can’t even imagine what you must have gone through. But it’s not your fault.’ He kisses her forehead. ‘Your dad’s right. It’s not your fault. You have to forgive yourself.’

There is so much kindness in his eyes, so much understanding, so much compassion, when she expected him to push her away. He gives her a soft kiss on the lips, and wipes her tears away.

She takes a deep breath. ‘Michael was his husband. They have a daughter together, Callie. If it wasn’t for me, she’d still have two daddies.’

Drake wraps her in a tight hug. She feels just as shattered as she has felt for the past two years, but now something else had sprouted.

Now, wrapped in the arms of this man, whom she was falling for, under a flurry of his kisses, lulled and reassured by his kind words, she wanted to heal.

*****

Taglist:

@andy-loves-corgis , @drakewalkerwhipped , @drakxwalker , @drakewalkerrosenberg , @drakeswalkers , @drakelover78 , @silviasutton1989 , @jovialyouthmusic , @drakeandcamilleofvaltoria , @mariahschoices , @drakesensworld , @thequeenofcronuts , @notoriouscs , @drakewalkerisreal , @nikkis1983​ , @simsvetements , @alesana45

Thank you for your encouragements, everyone! Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist :)

[lagroupie]

Interview: The Mystery Lights

The Mystery Lights in Étagnières before the show at Croc’ The Rock, through my Olympus Trip 35.

Two years ago, I interviewed The Mystery Lights at Le Romandie. I was blown away by their kindness and the concert that followed afterwards. During the years that followed, I kept going to their epic shows whenever they played Switzerland, and there were many occasions (they spend the majority of their time touring around the world). Since Too Much Tension! came out, I was on the lookout for a possible date to interview the band again. I was happy to discover that the great Croc’ The Rock festival booked them not far from my hometown.

So two years after our first encounter, I sat down with the band again to talk about their new album Too Much Tension!. They tell me about the recording of the album - they had been playing some of the songs live for a while before entering the studio - , Lily permanently joining the band and finally feeling like the lineup is complete, living in New York and preparing for the rockpocalypse.

Many thanks to the Croc’ The Rock crew and the Mystery Lights for their kindness!

What is your life like in New York at the moment?

L.A.: We all live within ten minutes of each other.

Mike: New York is expensive, that’s why you split rent with seven people! (laughs)

Alex: Or you get rent stabilization, or rent control, which means your rent doesn’t ever go up. Which is hard to get, but it’s possible.

Mike: New York is crazy! It never shuts down.

Alex: 24-hour-nonsense.

Mike: if you want a beer and a deli sandwich at 5am you can get it. There’s always a party somewhere.

Alex: We have these corner stores called bodegas pretty much on every street corner. It’s quite enabling.

Mike: It’s really fun, but it’s overwhelming too. It’s a fast-paced city.

Speaking of New York, I wanted to talk about the music video for Too Much Tension.

L.A.: Our friend Laura Lynn came to hang out and shoot the video. We’re pretty much just walking around in New York.

Mike: There was nothing to it really. Usually L.A. takes care of all the videos. For this one, we wanted to put it in the hands of somebody else and just let them run with their own idea.

I also wanted to talk about your new keyboardist, Lily!

Mike: I was putting a backing band together for the King Khan and BBQ show. I needed someone good on keys. Lily played in another band called Worthless, and she’s really good at the keys so I asked her if she wanted to join in. It was fun playing the songs, and we just asked her “hey, do you want to join and come to Australia with us?”

Lily: It was in two weeks! (laughs)

Mike: And after Australia she just kept coming along!

Great! I’ve read in other interviews that Lily is now a permanent member of the band. Is it difficult to juggle between your two bands?

Lily: With the other band, we’re not really recording or playing shows anymore, and I played keys in a couple other bands in New York. If I’m in New York I can play with other people, but for the most part I’m basically focused on the Mystery Lights.

That’s awesome! I know that the band changed keyboardists a lot, so it’s nice to have finally found someone who can-

Alex: Play. For a while it was drummers too. Before we found Zach, we had like, 6 drummers in one year or something. (laughs)

Mike: It’s real! Now things are becoming more permanent, and it feels good for the first time ever, finally! The band is where it should be, where it should have been a long time ago. It took a little while to get there.

I wanted to talk about my favorite song as well, Watching the News Gives Me the Blues. I think it sounds like a 60s classic song, it’s amazing! I guess I know what the song is about (laughs), but I still would like to know how it came to life.

Mike: There was an instrumental that L.A. had written and recorded on a Taskam tape machine in New York. I just kept listening to it and helped with the structure the verse and the chorus, and found a melody that works. Then L.A. said that we should call it “Watching the News Gives Me the Blues” based on everything that was happening in the US specifically at that time, so I wrote the lyrics around that title. It’s pretty self-explanatory.

I don’t remember you guys playing this particular song live – at least during the concerts I’ve been to in Switzerland – but I recognized other songs on the album from hearing them live. I was wondering, after playing them so many times around the world, how did it feel to finally record them? Was it like a routine, or were you already fed up with playing these songs again and again?

L.A.: We were fed up with some of them! But we always do that. I don’t know why we do that, we play a song for way too long before it’s out. But when we went to the studio to record the album, the songs changed a lot. The versions we were playing live didn’t go on the record exactly as they were.

Mike: The thing is, we wanted to introduce new songs because we were touring and playing the old songs so much. We wanted something fresh. The way to do it next time is to take those songs, record them, put a new record out and then go tour them. I don’t think playing new stuff ahead of the record is a good idea because you do tire of it pretty fast. But recording the songs brought a new life to them, so it became exciting again.

Yeah, I think it gives them a new flavor. Compared to the live shows, you can hear all the little details.

Mike: Wayne Gordon did a really good job at mixing it. He is our producer and he mixed the record as well. He used a lot of stereo methods that were – I think – genius. When he sent us the final mixes, I was blown away. The way he put specific sounds in each ear was genius. So yeah, the songs do have a whole new life on the record, as opposed to live. But you’ll hear it tonight, I mean you haven’t seen us for a long time. With Lily and the sound player it’s a lot different. It sounds more like what you hear on the record.

Let’s imagine there’s a zombie apocalypse in New York, and the zombies are at your door. You have to leave, and you can take only one item out of these three with you: first-aid kit, canned food or a gun. Which one do you choose?

Lily: First aid.

Mike: A gun! It’s fun to have it on anyway.

Alex: We’ve been watching Peaky Blinders. Maybe a gun, yeah.

L.A.: I was definitely going to say canned food! (laughs)

Mike: But you won’t need anything else if you have a gun. It’s kill or be killed!

L.A.: Wait, it’s a zombie apocalypse right? I changed my mind, I take the gun. And maybe sneak a little bit of the canned food before you leave… (laughs).

What can we expect from the Mystery Lights in the future?

Lily: A new record!

Mike: Hopefully sooner than in three years.

Alex: And a zombie apocalypse.

L.A. : A zombie rockpocalypse.

https://www.facebook.com/TheMysteryLights/

[manggojooz]

GAME OF TAG

My note: Thank you to @softmingukie​ for tagging me in this! it’s been a boring long weekend for me and I haven’t had motivation to get much done but of course when it comes to these things... #priorities 

Rules:

tag the person who tagged you

answer the questions

tag 10 people

Questions: 

how tall are you? 160cm, hopefully a little taller in the mornings xD

what colour and style is your hair? my hair colour’s naturally brownish, had a lot of issues with it when I used to be in school =/ and it has natural large wavy curls, giving rise to stark contrasts between my good hair days and bad hair days lolz

what colour are your eyes? brownnnn too

do you wear glasses? yeaaa since I was 8 T.T 

Do you wear braces? nope, never worn them before, got pretty good alignment thanks to my mum’s fussing when I was a kid (sometimes it pays to listen to your parents) 

what’s your fashion sense? varies with my mood, sometimes it’s super oversized and homely looking... sometimes I prefer neat looking outfits. but generally I’m a huge fan of oversize tops and recently into pastel colours (bought a lavender coloured denim jacket at that) 

full name? "if i tell you i will have to kill you” xD just call me manggo <3 

when were you born? 24 January (contemplating really hard whether to reveal my age, maybe not for now... feeling very old T.T) 

where are you from and where do you live now? I was kinda ‘Made in China’ but I grew up in Singapore and am still living here

what school do you go to? see this is why I’m feeling old, coz i don’t even qualify for answering this anymore T.T I’m unfortunately and very unwillingly a working adult now

what kind of student are you? I used to be really diligent in primary school (elementary school), then in secondary school (the equivalent of junior high I guess?), I went to a pretty good school and it all went downhill from there hahaha, not really my results but just my attitude towards grades-based stuff in general. I just tried to make sure my grades aren’t diving and whatever extra time I had I will definitely not be studying xD Not discouraging anyone from studying! keep a reasonable target, make sure you aren’t falling behind then you will have justification for spending your one and only youth doing other things you like too 

do you like school? this is cliche but when I was in the system it didnt feel all that great, however on hindsight yes school is actually not that bad, I will go back to school again if I had the chance. especially university, I literally had classes 3 days a week T.T gimme back my 3-day work week!!! 

favorite subject? Chinese! surprise surprise, but then when I was in Junior College (high school) I didn’t have to take it anymore and then my favourite subject was biologyyyy. If anyone’s interested to know, my English grade was horrible and it was kind of like my “complex” until maybe when I was around 17-18 yo

favourite tv shows? there’s so many how do you even pick a favourite? In the Korean TV world... i used to be a huge fan of running man. I love OCN shows like Vampire Prosecutor and God’s Quiz. And I’m generally a sucker for a good romcom, some of my favourites are like My Name is Kim Sam Soon (hahah oldddd), My Girl (another oldie), Secret Garden, Goblin, Strong Woman Do Bong Soon, Miss Hammurabi, My ID is Gangnam Beauty

favourite movie? animated movies... coz i’m childish like that and anything marvel recently. if i had to pick, i will pick how to train your dragon (the first or the second one); for the record, the HTTYD soundtrack is my favourite OST of all time... hands down (”test drive” anyone?)

favourite books? seriously how do people pick such things? do comics count? if so, Calvin and Hobbes (I wasn’t kidding when I said I’m childish) but if comics don’t count then I’m into poetry books recently, highly recommend I Wrote This For You by Iain S. Thomas

favourite pastime? just walking while listening to music... I’ve read somewhere that when you listen to music while doing a certain thing sometimes your memory links them together and I think it’s true. so I would like my music to help me remember the feeling of sauntering somewhere nowhere...

do you have any regrets? not starting to write earlier... =/ 

dream job? something that i enjoy doing and that can make a difference to the world. it’s a dream because I dunno if such a job exists for someone like me... although i really shouldn’t be so ungrateful, my current job isn’t all that bad... 

would you ever like to be married? I think I would like to be... but as I grow older I realise so many things about the world and sometimes I just wonder whether getting married really should be a priority? that, and also whether anyone will marry me T.T 

would you like to have kids? hmm... this is a tough one... as of now I honestly feel like it’s a ‘no’ but I do wonder whether I might regret it later. Maybe adopting? maybe fur babies instead? 

how many? i only ever fantasise about having dogs now... 7 of them actually 

do you like shopping? yessssss, i never believed in retail therapy when I was younger but now i am a believer... 

what countries have you visited? does China still count? (Taiwan, Hong Kong, Macau??), NZ, Australia, Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia, Japan, France, Switzerland, Spain, Belgium, Morocco and of course South Korea <3 

scariest nightmare you have ever had? someone and me drowning in a car because I drove it horribly into a construction site that had a huge puddle that was more like a lake... T.T either that or not knowing the answer to a math exam question... 

any enemies? my self doubt occasionally and people who pick a fight with me because i refuse to eat shark’s fin o.O like dude... you go ahead and eat it if you want, I’m not stopping you but I won’t eat it ok? (this is such an asian thing.. i can’t) 

any significant other? been single for so freaking longgggg  

do you get along with your family? immediate family - yes very; distant family - generally yes too but a few i cant deal with. thank goodness we aren’t in the same country i guess haha

do you believe in miracles? logical me says no but i’ll veto that and say yes... if not what courage sustains me anymore?  

how are you? it’s hard to describe it... I’m ok but i’m also not ok... like i’m not suffering, I am not doing badly which puts me in this limbo where I am not motivated enough to change anything but yet I don’t feel like this is all good and well either, if you get what I mean

My taglist of 10 people - whom i wish to say hello to becoz, in an over simplistic way, either i follow you or you follow me and i adore you: 

@chimchimsauce​ @jikooktemple​ @carry-on-my-wayward-bts​ @let-your-dreams-breath3​ @9uk​ @kimvante​ @kyungsooskhakipants​ @ren-lotus​ @rain-fall-2019​ @betysotelo18​ 

no pressure to do this though! just a shout out to say hiiii~~ hope you are doing well! chowzz~