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#won't play it anymore today
chevvy-yates · 1 year
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I'm updating 😩
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esaari · 1 year
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honk
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local dead tory lays awake at night not knowing how to process the terrifying feeling of having your heart held by someone you might lose one day
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blmpff · 8 months
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oh? are we getting confrontation so soon? makes sense though, there's only two more episodes
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getting goosebumps fr /s
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aaaand cut! I hope you enjoyed this week's journey, and see you next Sunday! jub jubs to all 🫶
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pardonmydelays · 11 months
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IN THE HEIGHTS countdown: 4 DAYS!
song for today:
it's hotter than the islands are today and mister softee's truck has broken down and here come all his customers my way i told you i run this town!
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running-in-the-dark · 9 months
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I'm just so tired
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perfectlullabies · 2 years
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the way one of the only remaining things in my grandparents’ flat is the calendar on the wall which is on may 16th is so telling. i am too stuck on that day still. i haven’t touched my thesis since then, i haven’t driven a car since then, haven’t done so many things since then. i can’t believe it’s gonna be another may soon, rly. 1st anniversary? and then what? another ones? i wish ppl understood i’m so stuck. it’s sooo unbelievably hard to go on. i’m so tired, i’ve changed so much. why can’t nobody see this omfg it’s like i’m screaming for attention here and yet even ppl who know me irl and read these posts or if i tell them face to face, they just don’t care??? i don’t expect much, i don’t expect anything rly? just like. a question once in a while. or idk...they should know 
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allpromarlo · 2 years
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just saw a ravens fan say we need to sign cam newton...
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fiendir · 2 years
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I'm so fucking stupid, I really don't have a single fucking functioning braincell left
and if there is? then it is dedicated to making ne suffer
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horsegamergirl · 2 months
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I spent nearly the whole day trying to breed straight A+ grade 3 horse and when I gave up was with one having 1 × A+ and the rest normal A and the other horse has 2 × A+ 2 × A and 1 × B.
It's been definitely over 200 breedings and I'm really disappointed.
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makshu · 3 months
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Today is the third day of my play in a row and my back hurts like hell-
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milkyberryjsk · 5 months
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i got back into r6
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zoekrystall · 6 months
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"I need to talk more I got to more but social anxiety hnnn" for months in a discord and then the day I am feeling good enough to join pokeani again is when the kalos one gets started and like that it went down a v significant amount. Going from feeling v v anxious even sending a simple quick reply to almost zero. literally the only issue is that I v often dunno what to say but when I do writing it has gotten now easier. anxiety rly shattered like that. I had such a fueled by social anxiety irrational fear of "oh nooo it's prob awkward when I wasn't active for a while and now reply to pings again" I am so glad I'm far enough to nowadays know that's bs it would be worse to stay quiet. I'm still torn on how much I keep my mic on esp reg funny stuff bc I do laugh but conveying laughter through text is a bit weird for me personally so will need to see what I'll do maybe just keep it on but also write. Like I wanna let ppl know when I laugh at what they say and I don't mind using my voice. We'll see.
Anyways for even getting to that point was trying to get into my head more and more "ppl will tell me if they don't want me around esp those prefer saying things point black. if I say smth bad/make someone uncomfortable ppl will let me know. if I don't get replies they either didn't hear/see it or simply dunno what to write/say back. i shouldn't try to change myself just bc I feel I might be the odd one and just write/talk how it feels right for me ppl want to become friends w me and not a front n if it changes its bc ppl's ways imprinted on me to a point smth similar became also natural to me" etc etc v useful and esp needed. not just for this server but simply making new connections in general. and if anything I tell my social anxiety gets disproven by ppl is that not a sign that the affirmations are wrong but that this specific person anyways wasn't worth to keep having around (nuance can apply but in short). I def still struggle but! I'm trying and that's what counts!!
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thebestsetter · 3 months
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Isagi loves your thighs. And even though he isn't the type of guy to answer "personality" when asked "Boobs, thighs or ass?", he doesn't want to outright say how attracted he feels to them, mainly because he doesn't want you to think he only cares about your body (even though you know he doesn't).
So, imagine how heavenly it felt the first time he got to sleep on your lap. He remembers it as if it happened yesterday.
He had come home after a tough day of practice, in which his coach seemed even more angry than usual and just determined to make the whole team's day a living hell. Everything in him was aching, from his back to his feet, and he could swear he had a fever or something, because his head was starting to throb too. All Isagi wanted to do was get home and lay down, even if it means sleeping without showering (which shows just how tired he was).
"Honey? You're home!" he heard you saying from the kitchen "Welcome home!"
He tried to answer your sweet voice welcoming him home. He really did. But his mouth just wouldn't answer his brain's commands. So, he was just standing, staring at you with his mouth wide open, looking like an idiot.
"Isagi? Are you feeling alright?"
He couldn't even register what he was doing, but the next thing he knew, he walked closer to you. His body was just moving on it's own, as if being as close to you as possible was as natural for him as breathing.
"Sweetie, you're starting to scare me. Do you need to go to the doctor? Did something happen today at practice?"
He couldn't resist the urge to hug you anymore, even though he was trying to restrain himself because he was still stinky from practice and he knew just how much you hated it when he hugged or kissed you without showering first. He couldn't explain it, but you looked so huggable at the moment! He took a step closer, hugging you tight and burying his face in the crook of your neck, innaling deeply and letting out a satisfied sigh. One of his hands was travelling your waist while the other was playing with the hem of your shirt.
"Yoichi!" you exclaimed, voice worried yet still not loud enough to make his head ache even more (he doesn't even think your voice will ever be capable of doing him any harm) "You're burning up! You have a fever! I can't believe it, I told you to take better care of yourself!"
Ah. So he was right. He had a fever. That's why training was so hard today.
"Hm" he muttered, still with his head in your neck. He closed his eyes, enjoying the moment you both were having.
"Stay at the couch, I'll go grab some medicine at the bathroom."
"Noooo, don't leave me here" he said, clearly affected by his sickness. It looks like his mouth finally started to work again. "I don't want to be away from youuuu"
"Yoichi, my honey, you're clearly not thinking straight right now. But I won't go away! I'll be back in like 30 seconds. Sit on the couch and count, I swear it won't take long"
He sighed, but complied anyway, sitting at the couch and waiting (im)patiently.
You were right, because in almost no time you came back with pills and a cup of water. If there was a sport where the champion had to be the person who brought a glass of water and medicine to their sick boyfriend the fastest, you would win, Isagi thought (and that thought made him strangely proud).
"Here. Drink it up" he obeyed
"Everything hurts"
"I know it does, love. What you need right now is sleep. Come here" you said, patting your lap. If Yoichi was in his right mind, he would've blushed hard and maybe even denied at first, but he wasn't. He just wanted to rest, and he always dreamed about laying in your lap. So, he quickly grasped the opportunity.
And boy was it as good as he imagined it would be. Even better, actually. Your thighs were fluffier than any other pillows he had ever used before, and he felt like he could hibernate there. And as if it couldn't get any better, you started playing with his hair. He was in heaven. He couldn't even fell the pain anymore, and he was sure it wasn't just the medicine doings.
"I love your thighs" he admitted, a honesty he wouldn't have when he was healthy, which made you chuckle "And I love you too. Thank you." He kissed the inner part of your thigh to show you just how serious he was about it
"I love you too, Yoichi. Now, rest. We don't want the best striker of the world to be sick all week, do we?"
"If it means getting to lay on your lap everyday, I would be sick my whole life"
"You're silly"
"And you're the love of my life"
"Good night, Isagi"
"Good night, my love"
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annwrites · 2 months
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sons & daughters. part five.
— pairing: cregan stark x fem!reader
— type: part of a series
— summary: your heart is broken multiple times in one day & just when you feel at the end of your rope—unable to take anymore—your heart is mended by another's loving, steady hands.
— word count: 7,815
— a/n: sorry not sorry, but i fuckin' love angst.
pls ignore the scene from the image i chose & pretend it is instead a scene that takes place during this chapter lol.
the song lost by kris allen is what made me come up with all the angsty bits at the beginning of this installment. listened to it on repeat while writing this chapter, too. just thought it was worth mentioning, incase anyone wants to listen while reading!
— tagging list: @beebeechaos @crypticlxrsh @amindfullofmonsters @yeolsbubbles @icefrye19 (more tagged in comments bc tumblr is dumb & won't let me tag you all here)
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When you wake the next morning, it is with a sense of belonging. For the first time in all your life.
A contended smile spreads across your lips as you snuggle further into your furs.
Furs which still smell of him.
Last night, you had begun to drift off in Cregan’s arms, your body feeling light and warm, so he had picked you up and carried you over to your bed, so you might rest.
He’d bent down, pressing a kiss to your forehead, then brushing one over your lips, and as soon as he made to step away, you’d reached out for him, grabbing his fingertips, and asked him to stay.
He’d not refused. Instead, he had laid down next to you, wrapping you in his arms once more as the two of you continued to share soft kisses and gentle touches before you closed yours eyes for the night.
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After breaking your fast, even if you had felt too excited to eat, Alia helps you dress. Afterward, you hug her with joy, to which she is quite taken aback, but she only laughs and tells you that you are welcome and she then leaves you.
You begin to open the door to your room, wishing desperately to seek Cregan out, just to be near him. Wherever he goes today—whatever he does—you only want to be beside him during.
And that is when you hear the news.
Your door is open no more than a crack—barely, at that—and you watch in silence at two older men go walking by.
“Yes, Lord Stark is most certainly considering a betrothal to the Lady Blackwood. It would do well to have such an arrangement in the possible wars to come. Their forces joined with ours would add volume to our ranks.”
The second man hums. “He has ruminated on the offer for some time. I believe it bodes well, however, that he has not rejected it outright. He is, instead, as always, acting with caution and measured thought. The loss of the Lady Arra was keenly felt by all, but it is time.”
You softly shut your door, pressing your forehead to it as your stomach twists so painfully it makes you wince—your bowels turning to water.
You’d trusted him. How…how could you have done such a thing?
Why did you not listen to Jace instead? He's a young man himself, and thus knows their ways of thinking.
Lord Stark had played you quite well, like that of a game of Cyvasse.
He’d slowly drawn you in by bestowing you with his attentions—pretending that he cared—and then had given you small touches and suggestive comments to preen your interest, showering you with gifts and compliments, until your head was spinning and you couldn’t think straight. Or, until all you could think of was love.
You had been raised in King's Landing of all places. What, then? Had you truly—in a matter of only a handful of days—forgotten how to read someone when they are lying to you?
And he had spoken of honor.
Mayhaps he has it, but not when it comes to you.
No. Never you.
And you'd let him into your bed. Nothing had happened—not yet—but now… Now you understood why he had asked for ‘more time’. More time to wrap you round his finger until he was able to finally claim what he desired from you, only to then marry another.
No one will ever want you for love.
You should’ve never started believing otherwise. Not for a day, or a moment.
Coming here had been a great mistake. You regret ever having met him now.
Tears sting your eyes and bile rises in your throat as you think of last night. You, seated in his lap as you allowed his hands to wander.
Whore.
That is what you are.
First, you had permitted Aemond to touch you in such ways—had let him to whisper and insinuate vile things toward you—and just allowed it—because you had actually enjoyed it.
You are not a princess who possesses self-respect. You are instead… You are your mother’s daughter. A mother who has now bedded how many men? You have her disposition.
Don’t you?
Harlot.
You squeeze your eyes shut, struggling to breathe. The room is too cramped. Too crowded. You feel like you are suffocating.
You wrench your door open, needing to be outside. You’ll go to the Godswood. You want to be alone. You begin to mentally pray that he stays away from you.
You need think on how best to word to Jace that you wish to go home now. You won’t tell him anything about Lord Stark because, no matter what has transpired between the two of you, you all need the northern army.
You will tell him that you are not faring well in this northern weather. That you have changed your mind. Going to the Wall would be—at least for you—ill-advised. A foolish thing to consider in the first place, as it is not a place for women. You will thus not intrude.
You nearly slip going down the stairs which lead into the Great Hall, but catch yourself, choking back a sob, your heart having jumped into your throat.
You walk briskly toward the doors which lead outside, and then with bleary eyes, step out. You lower your head, refusing to meet anyone’s gaze.
Alone.
You want to be left alone.
You wrap your arms round yourself, having forgotten your cloak.
You do not want the one he purchased for you now, knowing it is a lie. Same as the items he’d procured for you yesterday.
You will leave them behind when you go. You want nothing more from him.
It is just as you are about to pass the stables that you hear a young man calling for you. “Princess Y/N!”
You quickly wipe hot tears from your cheeks before turning back to him, refusing to meet his eyes.
“A raven came for you,” he states, holding a scroll toward you.
You gingerly take it from him with a slight nod. “Thank you.”
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When Cregan emerges into the yard, a broad smile crosses his lips just at the mere sight of you.
Gods, how good it had felt to have you in his arms the night last.
You, curled into his side, tucked close with furs all around you as you dreamt—one of your soft, dainty hands resting over his heart, which now belongs wholly to you.
He had laid there for awhile—a long while (So long, in fact, that he had nearly fallen asleep beside of you, but refused to, even if he'd desperately wished for as much. He would not risk a servant, or even your brother—his new close friend—finding him with you in such a state, ruining your reputation; it means far too much to him. You do.)—imagining each night for the rest of his days being that way.
To have you lain bare beside him as he runs his rough hands along your soft body, telling you how beautiful and dear you are to him—that he will spend the rest of his days caring for and protecting you—he can imagine no finer fate.
The Gods blessed him by sending you to him.
You are meant to be together as one.
Now and always.
He had worried for so long after Arra passed that his grief would never cease, until it eventually turned to numbness. But when he set eyes upon you that first day as you looked around you in wonder at his home, his body awakened once more. After that, he could do naught else but think of you.
The morning he sparred with Jace, his irritation had partially been due to finding out you mayhaps loved another, yes, but also due to his advisors. If he heard the name 'Black Aly' one more time, he'd been sure he would fly into a black rage.
And he nearly had.
He didn't wish for her. He wished for genteelness. And there you were before him at last.
Cregan only manages not even a handful of steps in your direction before he stops, his brows furrowing as he watches your disposition suddenly change.
You stare down at a piece of parchment within your hands, looking at it in disbelief—near-agony—before turning your face upward, staring into the sky as if you're looking for...explanation. For something.
He needs to know what has happened.
And then you nod softly, looking forward again, a final look of resignation crossing your features as you quickly wipe tears angrily from your cheeks, a scowl settling onto your lips as you head toward the training yard.
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Jace's smile quickly fades as he sees you heading toward him looking...not yourself. Pale, angry, utterly upset.
"Sister, what is—"
You hold out the missive toward him and he takes it with furrowed brows, waiting for you to say something—anything—but you instead remain silent, staring at him, waiting for him to read.
And so he does, his expression morphing into incredulity and then horrification. He begins to shake his head rapidly, his eyes meeting your own once again.
"This—this cannot be."
"It is."
"You cannot mean to—"
"I do."
He steps closer to you. "Dalton Greyjoy is a mad-man—a bloodthirsty beast. He already has over two score wives!"
You snatch the piece of parchment from him, quickly rolling it up and clutching it in a tight grip. "And now he will have yet one more."
You clench your jaw before continuing. "He has promised to make me his rock wife—his one true bride."
"They—they call him the Red Kraken, do you not know why?!"
"Because he is a fierce warrior of the Iron Islands. We will need men like him in the wars to come."
"You are better than this," he tries to insist.
And it is then that you snap. "This is what I am!" You shout, shaking the correspondence held tightly within your fist.
You force yourself to quiet, now that curious eyes are looking your way.
"He has a fleet of ships and fearless reavers. They will do us well against the Greens."
"We have a fleet through Lord Corlys," he snaps back.
"And now we shall have a larger one. As of this moment, I consider myself Lord Greyjoy's betrothed. He desires a princess, so a princess he shall have."
He shakes his head, grabbing your arm, desperate to talk you out of this.
You are not thinking clearly.
"You will be miserable there. You...you will waste away at Pyke as—as lonely and—"
You take a step back, yanking your arm from his grip. "As you said, he has a great many wives. Plenty to share in my misery. We shall do so together."
"What of Cregan? I had thought that the two of you...that something more was developing."
Your eyes turn hard, hateful. "We have nothing. He is our ally. That is all. I cannot wait for a proposal that will never come. I have one here and now, and I must take it before another claims him as their Lord Husband instead."
He scoffs, shocked at your flippant attitude toward a man he had been sure he had seen you only a day past looking at with love.
"I need you to promise me that come first light tomorrow you will return me to Dragonstone to inform mother that I have accepted and must be delivered at once to Pyke."
Tears sting his eyes. His sister. His twin. He...he can't just let you do this.
"Sister, please—"
"Promise me, Jace, or I will make arrangements myself."
There is a terse silence, and then he nods in surrender.
You turn to walk away then, unable to discuss it any further.
It is done.
"I had merely hoped for better prospects for you," he calls softly from behind you.
You stand with your back to him for just a moment as you quickly reply. "Better isn't coming, Jace. War is. And we must all play our part."
You continue on, mumbling, with a sneer, "Including me."
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Cregan stumbles back at your words, hiding himself in the armory, eavesdropping through a window as you renounce yourself—your future—to one where you will be tore to a thousand pieces until not a single whole one remains.
All in the name of what? Your family winning a sea-faring battle or two?
You had said the two of you had nothing. Why...why would you think such a thing? Mayhaps because he had asked for time, and in this moment, you filled with doubt toward him.
No one will ever want me for love.
He has now made you think of him as just one more man who sees you as only what you are, instead of who. All the touches and suggestive looks...
Oh Gods, what has he fucking done?
He's about to lose you.
The future which he had envisioned, between waking fantasies and sleeping dreams now rests upon a precipice. One you are about to step over the edge of, never to return to him.
The thought of you there in one of those towering castles over the sea, staring out the window, empty and hopeless and heartbroken with not a single soul to save you from not just him, but yourself—a nightmarish fate—he can't bear the thought.
He clutches his chest, coughing, his heart squeezing painfully. An all-too familiar feeling he'd thought he'd long moved past some time after Arra's passing, but it returns to him now at the thought of you walking away from him. From the North.
It's your home now. It's meant to be. You are supposed to remain here where you most belong. The Gods themselves had ordained it.
He looks down to the scroll protruding from his pocket, meant to be flown to your mother to ask her for your hand, and he knows: his time to do things right by you has already run out in an instant.
There will be no asking her now, but instead you.
Your wishes are all that matter in this moment.
He has to save you. He...he has to keep you where you are loved and wanted and safe.
He steps out, heading back inside, knowing what he must now do.
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Once you have returned to your chambers, you lock the door and step swiftly over to your wardrobe, ripping gowns from the hangers—you hear one tear, but care not—and begin stuffing them into the bag you had brought with you.
You angrily wipe gathering tears from your bleary eyes as you grab your shoes from beneath your bed and pack them away as well.
And then you spot it. The cloak he had gifted you.
You swipe it from the back of the settee and make to throw it into the fire, but pause, your fist hovering just before the flames, the black material softly swaying.
You then cry out in frustration and toss it into a corner.
No one will ever want you for love.
You throw your bag so hard against a chair that it scoots a few inches across the floor.
You then bury your face in the mattress and scream, clutching the sheets, the furs, losing yourself.
You gasp for air, hand settling over your abdomen as you try to calm it, fearing you may be sick.
No one will ever want you for love.
You tear at the back of your gown, you rip the sleeves off, as well as the neckline and it finally pools at your feet. You crawl into bed then and cry yourself back to sleep.
No one will ever marry you for love.
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Your brows furrow.
You...you're not meant to be here. You don't want to be. Why have you returned to the Red Keep?
You step closer to a window. Snow...in the south and during the summer. Something isn't right.
Mama.
You turn down one hall and then another, until you finally reach your royal apartments.
When you step inside, she's there, but so is Daemon, the two of them twined around one another, their grasping hands dripping with blood.
"M-Mama?"
Her expression is that of indifference when she looks upon you.
Daemon smirks as he glances across the room. "You may call me father now instead."
You follow his line-of-sight and gasp, stumbling backwards, knocking something over.
A charred body lies half-inside the room's hearth, and not but a few feet from it, a golden cloak with a pile of ashes atop it.
Laenor. Harwin.
No.
No.
Not them.
Please not them.
You begin to wildly shake your head as you turn, yanking against the door's handle and when you emerge back into the hall, it has changed.
You're...you're in Winterfell, aren't you?
Dark wooden walls, braziers flickering softly, the howl of a wolf in the distant night.
"Cregan," you whisper to yourself.
He will help you.
You begin racing down the halls, heart beating wildly, unable to get that horrid sight out of your head.
And then you come to his door and you know you are safe.
You knock softly, and you hear feet padding toward you.
It opens.
"What is she doing here?" You hear a woman call from behind him as he stares down at you in irritation.
"I don't want you here," he says through clenched teeth.
You whimper in fear, tears stinging your eyes. "But—"
A lithe young woman comes around the side of him, raven-black curls falling over her shoulders, her form completely naked.
She glances to you with disinterest and then to Cregan. "Come back to bed. Forget about her."
He smiles, cupping her cheek, and nodding as he slams the door in your face.
You choke back a terrified sob, having no idea where else to now go.
No one wants you.
No one.
No one will ever want you for love.
You need to steal a horse and ride south.
To King's Landing.
Aemond.
Aemond wants you.
You will go to him. He loves you. Doesn't he?
Then perhaps we steal away in the dark of night, married in secret by a septon, you hear whispered in your ear from an indeterminable location.
Let us finally be free of our gilded cages, beloved niece. Together, he continues; you feeling familiar hands then holding you safely.
Yes.
Free.
You will be. Together. Just like he said.
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"Sister, you must wake."
You go to swat Jace's hand away from your shoulder. "Leave me be, Jace. I wish to rest."
You shove your face into the pillow, exhausted.
"Lord Cregan has summoned us both to his solar."
"Whatever it is does not require me, I'm sure. Please, Jace, just go."
He sighs. "He has demanded us both be present. He says it's of utmost importance and cannot wait."
Your eyes slowly open, your stomach beginning to twist again. You don't want to see or be near him. Do not wish to so much as hear his voice.
The morrow cannot come soon enough.
You sit up, feeling dizzy. "Has word come from home? Has something happened?"
He shrugs. "He wouldn't say. It is why you must come at once."
You finally stand, grabbing the cloak which you rode in with and turn to him, not even bothering with shoes or proper clothing.
Jace thinks to tell you to put on a suitable dress, but when he looks into your eyes and see they are naught but void, he holds his tongue.
He wraps his arm round your shoulders as he leads you out and into the hall, and toward the awaiting Lord Cregan.
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When the two of you enter the private meeting room, you merely stare at the floor as you take a seat beside Jace.
Cregan notes with dejection how you refuse to so much as look at him. How you look unkempt—your hair in tangles, only a thin cloak covering your frame, your complexion wan, and eyes puffy and red from crying.
Oh, his sweet girl.
But your pain will soon be soothed and all will be right once more.
You stare numbly out the open window to the right, drowning out whatever Lord Stark and Jace discuss. You do not much care. About anything.
Not anymore.
The full moon emerges from behind clouds, the evening sky gradually growing dark as night begins to fall.
Looking at the moon does not bring them back to you now. Nothing will.
They're gone.
Dead.
And then you wonder if Aemond can see it, too. If he is looking at it thinking of you as well. Would it be night in King's Landing? You doubt it, but when it is, perhaps he will share the sight with you.
The last time you saw him was the last, wasn't it? There would be no returning.
You hope he lets go of you and does not waste his days awaiting a girl who is now lost to him.
A tear slips down your cheek and your chin wobbles, your heart cleaving in two.
Jace is fortunate to have Baela, and Luke Rhaena. At least they will all have fondness in their marriages, if nothing else. What will you have, you wonder? A man who comes to you in the dark of night stinking of death and slick with blood as he claims what will then rightfully belong to him, even if you do not wish it.
What you want doesn't matter.
Mayhaps it never did.
A pawn to be moved about the board. That is all you are.
Mayhaps...you are not really here.
Another tear slips free and you sniffle.
Jace finally turns to you with an elated look upon his face. "What say you, then, sister?"
You slowly turn your head to look at him, your expression blank.
You blink once before standing, both men doing so as well.
You hold your cloak tightly around your trembling form. "Please, forgive me, Lord Stark, Jace. I do not feel well and wish to retire to my chambers to rest. I have a long journey tomorrow and will need it."
You go to step away, Cregan's heart beginning to break, but Jace grabs your arm. "Did you not hear what Lord Stark said?" He asks, his tone panicked.
You slip your arm from his grip. "Whatever is the matter, Jace, I am confident you and Lord Stark will resolve it together. My presence here is unnecessary."
You walk toward the door, your heart in your throat. You need to get out, need to get away from him.
No one will ever want you for love.
"Sister!" Jace calls.
"Princess. Y/N!" Cregan says, coming closer toward you.
Your twin spins you round to him, your back now pressed to the door.
You can't breathe. You just want them to let you go. You can't be here.
"Please, Jace, let me go!" You shout through blinding tears.
"Just—Y/N, listen—" he starts, but you step to the side.
"I don't feel well, please!" You choke out through violent sobs.
Gods, what is happening to you?
Finally, Cregan has had enough and lightly pushes Jace aside as he takes your face between his hands, even as you shove against his chest.
The feel of him...you do not want it. Why is he doing this?
"I have asked your brother for your hand in marriage."
You blink up at him, hiccuping, a long pause of silence.
"W-what?"
He brushes hot tears from your soft cheeks, his heart breaking at the sight of you being this distant to him.
"I would take you for my Lady Wife. Tonight."
"Why?" You ask with furrowed brows, mind spinning.
He presses a gentle kiss to your forehead.
"Because of your beauty, your grace, and your genteelness. Your strength and resolve to do what needs be done in the name of your family, even to your own detriment. You are loyal. And you love whom you love fiercely."
He runs his knuckles gently along your cheek. "I will admit that since the passing of my late Lady Wife that I have received a considerable amount of offers of marriage. None have yet tempted me. Until I set eyes upon you. I was captivated body and soul. The thought of relinquishing you to another who would not appreciate you..."
He shakes his head. "Who would not protect nor value you? Would not treat you as tenderly as I might? It grieves me to consider such a thing."
He takes a step closer. "So, let us prevent it: our mutual agony of losing what can so easily be ours. Agree. Take my hand. And remain in the North where you belong. By my side, where you belong. You said once that the North felt like home to you. Princess—Y/N—you feel like home to me. So do not take yourself from me in the name of a fleet of ships or a small army. I beg of you."
He leans down, kissing you, caring not for what Jace may think. "I will give you the might of the North—and you, the title of Lady of Winterfell and Wardeness of the North. I can think of no one more deserving."
You stare up at him, in disbelief, sure you are imagining this. Not hearing him correctly.
You break then, sobbing, unable to catch your breath as you drown in a sea of tears.
Cregan merely pulls you into his chest, his large hand cradling the back of your head as his other arm wraps round you to keep you close.
You don't see, but he gives Jace a silent look, asking him to leave the two of you alone for a moment.
He replies with a solemn nod, silently slipping out of the room.
Cregan presses his lips to the top of your head, your body continuing to quiver in fear.
"I'm so sorry," he whispers. "For allowing you to feel for even a moment that I do not love you."
You cling to him, your cries eventually quieting as a feeling of weariness instead overtakes you.
“What about Lady Blackwood?” You ask quietly.
He pulls back, continuing to hold you to him, cupping your cheek once more.
His brows furrow. “Where did you hear that name?”
“I…this morn, when I was about to leave my room I heard men in the halls. Passing by. They spoke of a betrothal to her. Rather, that you were seriously considering one…”
He understands then. You’d thought he’d been playing you like a wolf with its prey all this time, while another waited for him to take the hand of.
Gods, his poor, sweet girl.
Your eyes fill with tears again.
He tenderly tucks a lock of hair behind your ear. “For some time now my advisors have tried to encourage a union between us—between me and any highborn lady, in truth—so I might produce further heirs. I waited, however. I had married once for love and…”
He sighs. “If I had to marry again out of duty, I would have. But then you came to me, and the moment I set eyes upon you, something within me shifted. It was as if I had become alive once more. The thought of losing that feeling again—losing you?”
He presses an achingly soft kiss to your lips. “It would drive me to the brink of madness.”
He lowers himself to one knee then, holding your hand. “Y/N, I beg of you, in the name of the Gods—Old and New—be my bride this night. Be my wife. My Lady. Be…mine. Let me care for and love and cherish you for the rest of my days. Rather, our days. Do not take yourself from me only to hand yourself over to a monster. I’ll do anything just to make you say yes. So, please—”
“Yes.”
He stops, relief filling his very soul. “You will?”
You nod gently. “Yes.”
He stands on two feet again, pulling you back to his chest.
“Thank you,” he whispers.
You nod, your eyes fluttering closed, tears slipping down your cheeks as your heart finally calms.
“I don’t have a wedding gown,” you say quietly.
He nods. “I have something that may suit you. If it does not, wear whatever you wish. All that matters to me is that we become one this night.”
He wraps his cloak around you which hangs from his shoulders, for warmth, you enveloped in his arms.
“I love you,” he whispers.
You then stand on tiptoes, reaching for him and he leans down to meet your lips.
“And I you,” you reply, tears shimmering in your eyes.
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Jace had been waiting outside as you and Cregan spoke and had been beyond pleased when your betrothed informed him of the good news—that you were to be wed this very night, because you had graciously accepted his proposal.
He could’ve nearly cried from the relief of it all.
His good friend settled—he could tell the young lord was desolate; raising his son all alone with no one of his own to love—and his sister, his twin, to be married to a strong and warm and honorable man.
He could not have imagined a better match.
He is only beyond grateful that a far worse one will now never come about.
So, Cregan had asked your brother to deliver you back to your chambers while he procured for you a gown.
And when he delivered it unto you, it took your breath away.
“It was my mother’s,” he’d stated, settling it into your arms.
Your eyes met his then, filling yet again with tears. “It’s beautiful.”
He had ran his fingers gently along your cheek. “She would have adored you just as I do. I think she would be…quite proud for you to be wearing her dress.”
You’d looked behind you, to your room, then back to him. “I truly hope it will fit.”
He'd nodded. “If it doesn’t, it is still yours to keep.”
Your smile had wobbled as you swallowed thickly. “Thank you.”
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As Alia readied you for the ceremony, Cregan readied his household. He had promised you that tonight, things would be quiet and intimate. No grand gathering. That, if you wished for one, it would come later.
This evening was about the two of you and no one else.
You had told him vowing to be bound together for life was more than enough for you. Festivities were not necessary.  
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The dress is a bit snug, but fits well enough, and it is beautiful. Lace trim, soft gossamer and silk, a long, flowing skirt, with a bodice in the shape of a heart, and the sleeves shimmer against firelight.
You’re grateful to Cregan for allowing you to not only wear, but have this dress. You suppose, in a way, it makes you feel closer to her: his mother. She must have been a lovely woman to raise such a man.
Your hair is long and flowing, with a crown of small white roses adorning your brow, pearls scattered throughout your curls. And you wear the necklace he gifted you of a small silver snowflake.
The final touch is a soft brown fur wrap—made of rabbit—which Alia lays over your shoulders before nodding her head. “I think that should do it, Princess. You look perfect.”
You take her hands in yours. “Y/N, please. This…this is going to be my home now. I would like…I’d very much like for us to be friends. Would you?”
She nods, smiling. “I would.”
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Jace’s breath is taken away by your beauty. How you look every inch a northerner. How quickly you were able to transform into one… He wonders, now, if this place has not been awaiting your arrival all this time. Or, you it.
He offers you his arm. “Shall we?”
You take it, nodding. “Don’t let me fall.”
He presses a kiss to your hair, careful not to mess so much as a strand. “Never.”
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“Father, Mother, Maiden, Smith, Warrior, Crone, Stranger. I am his, and he is mine. From this day, until the end of my days.”
The Septon speaks, finalizing the ceremony. “Let all bear witness to the union of Lord Cregan of House Stark, and Princess Y/N of Houses Targaryen and Velaryon, being now bound together as one heart, one flesh, one soul. Cursed be they who should seek to tear them asunder.”
A solitary tear slips down your cheek, and over your lips, which mingles between yours and Cregan’s as he takes your face between his hands, and kisses you long and deep. And passionately.
All cheer and laugh and smile, including Jace and Alia—your brother standing as Cregan’s best man, and Alia as your maid-of-honor.
And you know then, it was always meant to be him.
From the beginning, the Godswood in the Red Keep had been the place you went to for refuge and peace. Northern tales had always been your favorite as a child. And snowfall was something you’d desired to one day see—feel upon your skin—for as long as you could recall.
Even just a few days past, Cregan had wrapped you in his cloak before this very same tree. The Gods had known, even if the two of you hadn’t.
They always had.
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Dinner is celebratory, but not exactly a grand affair. There is music and drink and hearty foods to be had, while a fire roars in the great hearth.
As the servants had been given short notice, in place of a cake, biscuits with jam and honey are served, which you and your new Lord Husband serve to one another, kissing each other’s face’s clean with many laughs and smiles.
A few journey into Winter Town to visit late-open shops and return with small wedding gifts: fine materials for you and colorful threads, books, and collections of decorative candles. You take all graciously and with a great many thanks, promising they will all be put to use. You even place a few of the candles atop the hearth’s mantle, their wicks flickering as people dance and converse.
For Cregan, he is gifted a couple small ornate daggers, and a pelt, along with a new whetstone. His insistence that he wants for nothing is ignored.
Once things begin to wind down, he turns to you, his hand sliding along your back, to then grip your hip and pull you close as he whispers into your ear “it is time for us to retire, my love”.
You merely lick your lips and nod.
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You’ve never been in Cregan’s chambers before tonight. You suppose now they are also yours.
Your chambers.
And the first thing you notice is just how very organized he is. Unusual for a man, you deem. Unless, of course, that is in thanks to the servants having readied the room while the two of you were celebrating.
The door stands behind you and to your right is a large desk, with stacks of parchment, a collection of quills and an inkpot that you’re sure must be the size of your palm.
To the left is a row of hooks mounted to the stone wall, which holds cloaks and furs.
The mantle above the hearth has a long row of well-loved books placed atop it, with worn metal bookends in the shape of howling direwolves.
The same as your room, there is a large settee before the hearth, with brown and dark blue blankets lain across the back.
To the right of it, in the corner, is a wardrobe.
The opposite wall has a set of double-doors, the top portion of which are stained-glass windows that are the sigil of his house, painted in white and black and light blue, small, sheer curtains hanging over them. Beside those doors, a small square table for eating, with stuffed chairs on either side.
And finally, there is a large, four-post bed, turned down, with plenty of blankets and pillows and yes, more furs. On either side are wooden end-tables, and at the foot of the bed, a chest with cushions atop it.
You step over to the hearth and look at the large sword which is mounted on brass hooks atop it.
“Ice,” Cregan states, coming to stand behind you. “The ancestral sword of our house.”
Our house. It warms you to hear him say it.
You lean back against him, smiling softly as his arms wrap around you.
“I don’t think I’ve ever felt this…content before,” you remark.
He presses a kiss to the top of your head, before gently turning you around in his arms to face him.
He removes the flower crown from your brow, tossing it back onto the settee—perhaps you will press it into a book tomorrow for safe-keeping—before brushing a kiss over your lips. “I’ve not for a very long time now.”
He cups the back of your head, bringing his lips down to your own, his mouth moving slowly against yours, tongue tasting you as his fingers move to the back of your dress, unlacing it.
He kisses down your cheek and your jaw, coming back up to your ear. “Let us bind ourselves as one in this final way, my love.”
A pulse forms between your legs and you nod, your eyes fluttering closed as you push his cloak from his shoulders and it falls to the floor with a soft thud.
He brings his lips back to your own as he tugs your gown down, down, down, until it, too, has pooled at your feet.
You pull away for only a moment, gently folding it before placing it delicately upon the lounge.
He slips his fingers beneath the straps of your shift, and he grips either side in his hands and pulls it down your body.
He dips his head, kissing the tops of each of your breasts and your fingers tangle in his hair, a sigh escaping your lips.
His hands then slide lower, slipping your smallclothes from your waist, and once you have toed off your shoes, all that is left are your thigh-high stockings.
You reach down, gripping the tops of them, until you feel his finger under your chin.
“Leave them.”
With that, he cradles your body in his arms, carrying you over to the bed and he lies you back on fresh sheets as he stands at the foot of it.
You feel as if every nerve ending is exposed as you lie back on your forearms, your legs spread as you watch him undress himself.
He removes his jerkin, then reaches behind him, gripping his shirt back and tugging it over his head, his eyes returning to yours, watching how you lick your lips as he begins to unlace his breeches.
He had, admittedly, once wondered what the hair covering that most delicate part of you would be like in color. He is pleased to find it matches perfectly that which is atop your head.
He toes off his boots, then shoves down his trousers, along with his socks, leaving himself naked before you.
Your eyes widen as he takes his long, thick member in-hand and begins to stroke it.
Your eyes flit back to his, heat pooling between your thighs. Gods, you want him to touch you again.
Yours. All yours.
He takes a step forward, his thighs hitting the edge of the bed. “I don’t want for you to be afraid. I promise you that I’ll be as gentle as I can be.”
You shake your head.
“I’m not,” you reply breathlessly.
He nods, then climbs atop you, pressing his lips to yours and kisses you so achingly slow, removing his hand from himself and instead trailing it down your sensitive skin, your body jerking at the touch, a sigh escaping your lips as he moves to your neck, his fingers coming to explore your hot, wet core.
You gasp, wrapping your arms around his neck, the ends of his hair tickling your breasts as he moves his mouth lower, taking a peaked nipple inside of it, rolling it gently between his teeth.
Your back arches, his other hand slipping beneath it, holding you closely as his dextrous fingers spread your labia, gently massaging.
Your eyes roll back in your head.
“Oh, Gods,” you whisper.
You’ve touched yourself before. Many a time. But for another to do it—for him? You fear you may be reluctant to ever leave this bed—at the very least this room—after tonight.
He presses a hot, wet kiss between your breasts, then your stomach, his hands gripping your hips before he playfully peppers kisses on your cheeks and chin and nose, earning him a bubbly giggle from your lips.
He is glad to hear it. He doesn’t want you tensed up and anxious this night. He wants you to enjoy yourself. To experience just how pleasurable and intimate lovemaking can be.
His eyes gaze into your own, warm and full of love. “Are you ready, my darling?”
You nod, lifting your hips to meet his. “Yes.”
He presses his lips to yours, begins to rub the tip of himself against your dripping entrance—pleased to find you so ready for him—and he eases inside, breaking through your maidenhead.
You gasp against his lips, tears stinging your eyes.
He presses his forehead to your own. “Breathe, my love. Lift your hips for me again, darling.”
You do, and he sinks deeper, the pain quickly turning into something wholly different as he fills you.
“Gods,” he whispers in your ear as you clench around him for the first time.
He moves one hand into your curls, the other sliding down your thigh, lifting your leg onto his back as he begins to rock his hips against yours, a low moan emitting from the back of his throat at the feel of you.
You coat the length of him, the sound of your arousal meeting his ears as he eases out and then back in so, so slowly.
You lie your head back against the mountain of pillows behind you, soft furs lie beneath your sensitive, naked skin, the fire warming every inch of you.
You feel…somehow euphoric. The two of you joined together as one—literally—causes a small sob to escape your lips.
His head jerks up and he stares down at your tear-streaked cheeks. “Are you in pain? Should I stop—”
You shake your head vigorously. “I’m happy.”
He smiles before pressing his lips back to your own, easing back inside of you.
He then begins to lean up, gripping your waist and settling you into his lap, your bodies chest-to-chest as his hands tug against your hips, encouraging you to find your own pace.
You begin to undulate beneath his instructive hands, your body quivering as his callused palms rub against your back. He lies his head against your breasts and you run your fingers through the tangled strands of his hair, pressing soft kisses to the top of his head.
“I love you,” you whisper, your heart filled to the brim.
His lips come to hover over your own. “And I you.”
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“I regret making arrangements for us three to travel to the Wall tomorrow with our retinue,” Cregan states, his fingertips ghosting across the soft skin of your back.
You lift your head, removing your hand from his chest and instead cupping his cheek.
He continues as he turns more toward you. “For I do not wish to allow you out of this bed for at least a sennight.”
He presses yet another kiss to your already swollen lips with a cheeky grin.
You smile, feeling a pleasant soreness between your legs where he has already spilled his seed thrice—once with your legs thrown over his shoulders as he pounded away relentlessly inside of you. That position… You’d been able to form naught more than garbled words and cries of pleasure during.
“Nor do I.”
You slide a leg between both of his. “Mayhaps we could reschedule our visit?”
“Wish that we could, but I already sent a raven, which may have already reached them. At the very least, will be shortly.”
He cups your cheek. “You should know that is why I wished to wait to propose to you. This morn, I had intended to send a request to your mother for your hand. And then I heard that you…intended to take another to husband. I merely wished to do things the right way. Not just because it is—right—but because I know how much your family means to you.”
You flush. “About that…”
He leans over you with furrowed brows, and you cup his cheek with a nervous smile. “I hope you do not find it presumptuous, but just before Jace and I took to flight atop Vermax, my mother told me that…due to your young age, and knowing that you are a widower…”
Your eyes flit from his chest, then back to his own. “She told me if love were to grow—if you asked for my hand and I felt it right; I desired it, then I was to give you both our blessing. So you already had it.”
His lip twitches. “All that upset due to naught more than misunderstandings on both sides.”
He takes your hand in his, brushing a kiss over your fingers. “I will forever regret that for even a moment you doubted the love which I now hold for you.”
You shake your head, curling your fingers against his stubbled cheek. “When did you know?”
“When I saw you with Rickon. That morn, I had gone to the Godswood to pray, asking for the Gods to give me a sign—any—if it was meant to be. For I wished for you—to have you. To claim you as mine own. Desperately. The conversation we had in Winter Town made me doubtful, if for a moment. It is…why I changed tactics,” he states with a raised brow.
“I wanted you assured that I was a man who chased after that which he desires most—that I do not relent easily—and that was you. But it was also a matter of whether you wished to be chased. Seeing you with my son, I knew that was at an end, and commitment was to be what remained. That we belonged together. As one.”
He presses a kiss to your warm forehead. “And when I heard you telling Jace…heard you ready to resign yourself to such a horrifying future, I knew the time I thought I had, had then run out.”
He brushes his lips over yours. “It shattered my heart to see you so…heartbroken tonight. You could not even stand my touch. To think I nearly lost you—”
You crush your lips to his. “I am yours.”
You climb into his lap, straddling him, easing him back inside of you.
He grips your hips firmly. “You are mine.”
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ahgasegotarmy116 · 4 months
Text
Want Some Help? | Jeon Jungkook One Shot
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Summary: When your boyfriend can't seem to satisfy you anymore your roommate decides to lend a helping hand. Pairing: f!reader x Jungkook (crackhead roommate energy) Word Count: 4.7k (got a little carried away but when don't I 😂) Warnings: Explicit language, smut and cheating. He spits in her mouth at the end lol and hella pet names. Aight that's all you're getting lol gotta read the rest to find out. a/n: This is the last thing I'll be posting before I go on a little hiatus. I'll make a post in a couple of days to explain but I'll let this circulate a bit before I do. I hope you enjoy it! (barely edited lol) Requested by a lovely anon 💜
The sounds in my room are obscene to say the least, more from Brian's side than mine today though. I don't know what it is but something about him isn't doing it for me anymore. Is it the fact that I have a new Adonis for a roommate? Perhaps, but Brian's need to overcompensate for it makes situations like these even more awkward than they need to be. 
"You like that?" he asks, him being so close to cumming with me barely working my way up to it. "Yeah" I respond breathily, trying my best to play the part so this can hopefully be over sooner rather than later. "Fuck" he groans at the sight and sound of my little gasp when he just barely hits that spot but I know he won't be able to figure out how to do it again. 
Brian isn't a selfish lover but the dynamic between us has changed ever since Jungkook moved in... 
He hasn't been as focused on me which now that I think about it is pretty damn selfish. I'm just making excuses for him at this point. He's more focused on his ego and playing it up for my roommate than he is into loving his girlfriend. I don't know how much longer I can be in this relationship if he keeps acting like this. 
"Shit I'm close, are you?" he asks and I nod my head furiously, thanking whoever might've been listening to my plea and seconds later he's cumming inside the condom and I do my best to copy the moan that I let out when he's actually done a good job at satisfying me and it seems to be convincing enough since he's giving me that cocky grin before he kisses me again. 
"You wanna shower?" he asks and I shake my head, "You go ahead, I'll shower later. Plus, didn't you say you had work early tomorrow morning? I'll let you get cleaned up in peace so you can head out" I say and he nods his head before going to the bathroom and throwing me a towel before closing the door and turning on the shower. 
Luckily he didn't try to clean me up because there's definetly not much to clean since I didn't cum.
Once I'm finished and I've made myself somewhat presentable I put on my robe and head out into the kitchen to grab myself a glass of water. "Have fun?" my roommate says from the living room couch as I pass by on my way to the kitchen. "Shit Jungkook you scared me" I say, holding my hand to my chest. 
"Sorry, I didn't mean to. Have a good time tonight?" he asks again, his eyes dragging up and down my form, lingering on my chest and when I look down I see that my nipples are very visible unbeknownst to me since I hadn't cared to think about the fact that Jungkook might've come home. 
I wrap my robe tighter around me and cross my arms as I head into the kitchen. "Yes I did thank you very much. Did you?" I spit out quickly, hoping to avoid talking about my sex life with him. "It was alright. I had a long week so I decided to turn in early but um..." he trails off as he watches Brian walk down the hallway and into the kitchen, giving Jungkook a stern look before coming over to talk to me. 
"You alright?" he asks before placing a way too intimate kiss on my lips in front of Jungkook who I see has turned his head back to the TV and isn't bothering to pay attention to the game Brian is trying to play with him. "Yeah I'm fine. Are you heading out?" I ask, very hopeful that this visit will come to an end and thankfully luck is on my side this time. 
"Yeah I gotta get going but I'll come over again soon" he says, looking over at Jungkook before giving me one last kiss and heading towards the door to put on his shoes. "Text me when you get home!" I say and he winks at me before walking out leaving me rolling my eyes once the door is shut. 
I slump against the counter, glad it's finally over and when I look back over at Jungkook he's not too interested in whatever he has playing on the TV anymore, his focus solely on me. 
"What?" I ask him, brows scrunched together and trying to figure out what his deal is. "Why'd you fake it?" he asks and I choke on my spit, caught off guard by the unfiltered question. "Excuse me?" I ask, scandalized that he had been listening enough to even catch onto something like that.��
"You probably wanted it to be over huh?" he asks, assuming what the answer was and unfortunately that was the case but I'm not letting him have the satisfaction of being right. "I don't know what you're talking about" I say, turning on the sink to fill up my cup again but before I can even pull it out from under the tap he's taking it out of my hand. 
"Hey!" I call out, trying to grab it but he holds it just out of reach. "Can't keep you satisfied anymore?" he asks raising a brow at me, a smug look on his face since it seems he can read me like a book based off of my body language alone. "He keeps me very satisfied thank you very much, not that it's any of your business" I say and reach for my cup which he thankfully relinquishes. 
"I know you're lying" he say and I cock a brow at him, not knowing how he could possibly know the truth. "Oh yeah? What makes you say that?" I press, placing the cup on the counter and crossing my arms over my chest, forgetting the fact that I'm completely naked under this and giving him a better view of my cleavage. 
"You're not very quiet when you do it by yourself you know. What do you use? A dildo? One of those little roses? Maybe both?" he questions leaning in closer to me and making my eyes bug out of my head. "How did yo-" "These walls are paper thin doll, so believe me when I say that I can hear every little thing you do to yourself in there. But please, don't stop. I would hate to be deprived of that pretty little voice of yours even though it is quite distracting sometimes" he says, grabbing my cup and holding it between us as a clear invitation to leave if I so desire. 
I take it and rush back to my room, slamming the door behind me and I can hear him chuckle from the kitchen. Fuck he really wasn't kidding when he said these walls are thin.
I flop down onto my bed facedown and scream into my pillow, utterly mortified that he's heard me ever since he got here. I need to wear a muzzle at this rate  since there's no way I'm stopping just for his sake. A girl's got needs and if Brian isn't going to fulfill them then I've gotta do it myself. 
I get up off my bed after I finish my little temper tantrum and change the sheets before taking my robe off and jumping in the shower to hopefully wash off all of Brian's scent. I can't stand to think about him anymore especially after what Jungkook said about him...
After finishing up my shower and drying off my hair I reach into my drawer to get my tried and true rose bud to help me out tonight. Yes he guessed right but I'll be damned if I ever let him see it.
I lay down and try to turn it on and after I've used it for a minute or two it just shuts off. "Fuck" I groan out, forgetting the fact that I had forgotten to grab new batteries for it. The TV remote has the same size batteries right? It's worth a shot to go check since I'm pretty sure he's gone to bed already. 
Walking out to the living room in my robe again I'm met with Jungkook still sitting on the couch watching the same thing he had been when I first came out here. 
I try to turn back around once I've seen him but he stops me by asking me if I needed something. "I just wanted to borrow the batteries from the remote but you're still using it so no worries" I say and try to leave but he stops me again. "I'm pretty sure I bought a new pack of batteries not too long ago" he says and I sheepishly admit I used the last of them. 
"Oh okay well here, I can just finish this up on my laptop" he says while taking the batteries out and putting them in my hand, giving me the source of my pleasure for tonight. "T-thanks" I stutter and close my finger around them as if they would disappear if I let them go. "Is everything okay?" he asks and I nod my head while walking down the hallway, not knowing that he's hot on my heels. 
"What do you need the batteries for?" he asks as we're a few feet away from my door making me jump. "Didn't know I was behind you?" he chuckles and I glare at him, hoping that'll make him back off but it does the exact opposite, causing him to smirk and glance around my room and soon notices the rosebud that I stupidly left in the middle of my bed. 
"I was right" he smirks leaving me groaning and rolling my eyes as I storm into my room, not bothering to close the door since I know he's not going to leave me alone anytime soon. 
"What? You know I'm just teasing you. You're free to do as you please doll, I'm not gonna stop you. I was even nice and paused my movie so you can have your fun too" he says, leaning against my doorframe and since he's being shameless I will too, deciding to switch the batteries out and turn it on to check but unfortunately it does the same thing and dies less than thirty seconds after I turn it on.
"Shit" I curse under my breath and he stifles his laughter by covering his mouth. "Yeah yeah laugh it up. You're just lucky all you need is your right hand to get off. Can you just leave me alone?" I ask, laying back down on my bed, exacerbated and ready to call it a night since the odds have flipped again. My good luck for the night being Brian's quick departure. 
I don't pay attention to how high my robe has ridden and it seems as though one of my legs has slipped through the gap giving him a full view of my upper thigh and hip, one wrong move leaving me exposed to him. 
He gulps but I don't bother to notice and only do when he clears his throat. "What do you want?" I say, throwing my arm over my face trying to hide the shame that all of this has caused me but fail miserably. "Want some help?" he asks and I sit up right away at his words, "What?" I ask, my reaction as dramatic as if he had grown two heads. 
"Do you want some help? I can get you off real quick if you'd like? It'll be like one roomie helping the other" he offers as causally as if he had asked to borrow five bucks. "You're joking, right?" I scoff but it seems as he very well is not as he take a step into my room and he watches for signs for protest but I give him none. 
"Not really no. I'm simply offering to help a friend in need. That's what we are right? Friends?" he questions as he takes a step closer. 
He calls out my name when I've stayed silent for a while, not being able to take my eyes off him even if I tried. As long as he stays in this room he's got my attention. "R-right, friends" I respond and he takes a seat on my bed, a respectful distance away but it feels as if he was already on top of me. 
"But Brian-" "Doesn't need to know" he says, cutting me off and making it harder and harder for me to say no. He scoots closer to me and takes the rosebud out of my hands, unbothered by what it's used for and simply places it on the nightstand next to me. "It's your move" he says, leaning closer to me, his breath fanning my face and I look at his eyes, mine going back and forth before his look down at my lips. 
"Tell me to stop" he says, making things easier for me but when he's mere millimeters away I lean in. 
It's soft and sweet at first, our lips connecting and breaking a few times, still giving me an opening to pull away and say stop but after a few more kisses like that he deepens the kiss. While keeping our lips locked for longer he angles his head a bit more, his tongue now in my mouth and soon he beckons me to do the same and I do which gives him even more of a green light. 
He places his hand on my cheek and angles me just right before he switches up and presses down on my shoulder a little and leans in closer as a silent plea for me to lay down. 
I crawl back on the bed instead and he follow as I lay down on the pillows with him hovering over me. "Fuck been thinking about this view for a long time" he admits and before I can say anything in response his lips are already on mine again.
"Can I take this off?" he asks, toying with the tie that is seconds from coming undone of it's own accord. "Yeah" I say, adrenaline pumping through my veins at the thought of doing this, of cheating with my roommate who is someone I won't be able to run away from after this.
He pulls the belt and in one smooth motion it's undone.
The way he looks at me as he takes both sides of the robe off of my body is a sight that could make me cum untouched if given the chance. Watching his eyes darken up as they roam all over my body until he's tracing them back up to mine where it's as if a whole new man is hovering over me, one that looks so insatiable and ready to break me at any moment. 
"Fuck you're so pretty" he say, leaning back down to kiss me but soon trails his lips down my neck and to the valley between my breast. He settles on kissing one of them and slowly brings his lips closer to my nipple where he looks up at me for permission which I give right away. He smirks and puts his thumb and pointer fingers into his mouth making them wet. He places them on the opposite one twisting and toying with it before he places his mouth on the one in front of him. 
Once his lips make contact my fingers immediately lace through his hair, needing to ground myself with something and he hums around in in approval when I tug on it a bit. 
"You sensitive here doll?" he asks when he lets go of it, the cool air causing a chill when it hits my damp skin, him having made a mess of it from his clear desire to do this. I let out a whimper in response and he nips at it before switching to my other breast to give it the same time and attention he gave the first.
My hips start to buck up after a couple more seconds of him switching between my breasts and lips when he hears those pretty voices he had talked about before, wanting to taste them on his tongue this time. 
"Someone's eager" he says against my lips but I turn my face to the side leaving him kissing the column of my neck until I'm squirming about leaving him smiling against my skin. 
"Does my doll want more?" he asks and I whimper in response, not being able to bring myself to utter words of confirmation when I have a man like him already causing me so much pleasure, but it's not enough. 
I need more.
"Jungkook please" I breathe out, done with this teasing and so worked up already from not gaining release earlier. "Please what?" he asks trailing his lips back up to mine and kissing them one last time before pulling back and waiting for my answer. "Please help me cum" I plead, wanting what he had promised me earlier. 
He chuckles dryly and places a kiss on the corner or my mouth before responding. "Here I am taking my time with you but you still only want one thing. Don't you like it when I play with you like this?" he asks, trailing middle finger down my torso until he's come in contact with my clit, sliding further down past it and checking to see what my true physical reactions have been to his ministrations. 
"Seems like you do" he says, circling around my entrance with that same finger when he feels how wet I am. "This all for me?" he asks and close my eyes once he's dipped one of his fingers in while using his thumb to draw circles around my clit but once my breathing picks up a bit everything stops. 
"What?" I pant, confused as to why he would stop. "I asked you a question. Is this all for me y/n?" he rasps, looking down at where his fingers had once been and cursing when he notices how wet they are. "Y-yes, all for you" I choke out and he leans in as if he was going to kiss me but stops before I can even brush my lips against his. 
"Can you say my name princess?" he whispers, posed as a question but we both know the only way this continues is if I comply. "Jungkook" I whisper out, his name now tasting different on my tongue. It's almost if I have to put more effort into pronouncing each letter, my throat suddenly running dry. 
"Louder doll. It's the least you can do to help me forget how you've moaned his name in here time and time again. Probably another sad excuse of an act to fake your high" he says, going back to playing with my center, his finger going in and out at a faster rate now before easing his way into putting in a second one. 
"Fuck Jungkook" I groan, this time a little louder than before that grants me a kiss on my neck, his motives to stay away from my lips being to hear all of my reactions to what he's doing to me. Wanting to discover new sounds and reactions that sound more genuine and are ones that I can't even hope to hold back with the pleasure he's giving me.
"That's it, keep going. Want your voice to be the thing I remember most about this, hear it over and over again, ingrained in my memory. That way when I forget how you taste it'll be something that I'll still be able to come back to. Hearing how I make you feel, not yourself and definetly not your sorry excuse of a boyfriend, me. Let me hear how I make you feel" he rasps in my ear making me shiver and arch my back off the mattress. 
"Jungkook please, please" I beg, my ego gone, the only thoughts in my head being him and how incredible it'll feel once he's made me cum. "Just like that doll, scream my name if you need to, I don't mind" his calm cool and collected tone of voice driving me mad. How can he be whispering these things in my ear and taunting me like this while I'm a complete mess under him, barely being able to breathe let alone think straight. 
I pulse around his fingers and he can tell that I'm close when I let out a moan after he hits a certain spot, hitting it over and over again, knowing that that's going to be the thing that'll make me come undone. 
He leans back and looks down at me, his flushed cheeks and swollen lips make me insane, his calm and cool façade in my mind broken when I see the way he's watching me. Taking in every gasp, every moan, every whimper of his name and it makes him want to try even harder to get me to that high, needing to see what I look like when I cum.
"Just like that doll, you're doing so well, sound so pretty" he murmurs and with a few more words of encouragement I'm coming undone. When I try to look away he grabs my chin and makes me keep eye contact, making everything seem even more intense. 
Once the rising and falling of my chest has slowed down and his playful fingers inside me gain him whines of overstimulation he finally takes them out. 
I expect him to get up and wash his hands but instead places them in his mouth, moaning once my taste hits his tongue leaving me swallowing dryly, needing that glass of water now. 
"Open your mouth" he says after he takes his fingers out and I comply curiously, doing as he asks and the next moment I feel him spitting in my mouth before smashing his lips on mine one last time. 
After kissing me senseless and exhaustion flooding my system my kisses become sloppy and he laughs against my lips before finally pulling back. "Where are you going?" I ask and he laughs again at my groggy state. “I'm going to go get a towel to clean you up" he says and I sit up quickly, my mind slowly clearing up. 
"Wait, what about you?" I ask, taking note of the tent in his pants but he simply chuckles and brings back a warm towel just like he said.
I had expected the same treatment Brian gave me today but when I try to reach for it he pulls back. "No you lay down, you're still out of it" he says, trying to be serious but also satisfied that he only had to use his fingers put me in this state. 
After he finishes cleaning me up he gets up and throws the towel in the laundry basket and comes back to sit on the bed next to me, cupping my face and studying my features. "You okay?" he asks, clearly sensing regret already. 
"Yeah I'm fine. I just never thought I would do something like this" I admit and he mouths a quiet 'Oh' and takes his hand off me but I grab it before he can get too far. "I'm sorry I'm just confused and clearly not thinking straight" I say, trying to backtrack knowing that I've hurt him by saying that. 
"Thank you for doing this for me" I say timidly and he laughs. "What?" I ask, clearly not understanding what about this situation is funny. 
"I'm sorry" he says, his laughing soon dying down and I wait in silence until he's finally composed himself. "I'm sorry it's just that it’s not everyday that your hot roommate thanks you for finger fucking them" he chuckles and my cheeks heat up, thoroughly embarrassed now that he's put it like that.
I reach behind me and grab a pillow and throw it at his face which makes him laugh even more. "Jungkook stop this isn't funny" I whine and he stops a couple minutes later. "Alright alright I'm sorry, you were just getting way too serious about it" he explains and wipes away a fake tear. 
"This is serious! I just cheated on my boyfriend with you" I exclaim and he shakes his head, placing the pillow I threw at him out of my reach and sighs before responding. "You and I both know that you've been ready to end that relationship for a while now" he says and I open my mouth but the words die in my throat.
"That's what I thought" he says and we sit there in silence for a moment while I pull the sheet over me. "Just break up with him already, I can clearly see that you're miserable" he points out and I hate that he's right. 
"Why do you care? Should I break up with him so I can mess around with you?" I ask and he shrugs his shoulders. "We can do that if you want to, but from a friend's point of view I think your life is so much better without him" he says and I sigh, knowing again that he's right, telling me the things that I've thought about over and over again but just never did anything about. 
"I'll talk to him" I say and he nods his head. "Good because with the number I did on your neck he's definetly gonna know that something went down" he laughs and my eyes go wide, forgetting to tell him to not leave any marks but I know I'm fucked. 
"Here" he says, grabbing the hand mirror I have on my dresser and I know from one glance that hoodies and turtlenecks will be my new signature look until this all clears up.
"Jungkook" I growl and he giggles, never taking my scolding tone seriously. "What? Don't act like you didn't like it" he chuckles and I sit up, grabbing that pillow and throwing it at him again. "I hate you" I huff but he laughs again before placing a knee on my bed and making it dip under his weight. 
My breath hitches as he inches closer and I can't do anything but lay down, slowly trying to run away from his lips in my mind but falling back into that same position we had been in for who knows how long.
Once I'm flat on my back and he's hovering over me again I swallow as best as I can, making him let out a dry chuckle. "Wanna run that one by me again doll?" he asks, cocking a brow at me and I press my thighs together, hating myself for doing it but needing some sort of something to keep me sane but it's of no use.
He leans in closer and I hold my breath, not knowing what he's doing or where this is going but when I close my eyes I’m granted with that same chuckle again. 
"Goodnight princess" he says against my lips, his weight gone off my bed seconds later leaving me sitting up in process. "Wha-" "My pretty doll needs to figure out who she wants to play with if she wants more" he taunts and I cross my arms and pout a little, hoping that'll get him to come back. 
"Aw don't be like that. After all the work I put in to help you feel good. I thought you would've been more grateful, not greedy" he taunts and I roll my eye before uttering a quiet 'Goodnight'. "Thanks for giving me material to help me fix this" he says, looking down at the very clear outline of his hard on and I swallow again, intimidated from finally being able to see his full size. 
"I promise, if you make up your mind...I'll make it fit" he teases and winks at me granting him a scowl in response. He grabs the door handle at the same time I grab the pillow and throw it which he blocks by closing the door. "Goodnight doll" he says one last time and shuts it behind him. 
I spend the rest of my night willing myself to sleep and when I finally start to doze off I start hearing Jungkook's soft moans and grunts leaving me wide awake again. Now I really know he wasn't lying...
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