#women's self defense tools
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In an increasingly uncertain environment, women everywhere prioritize their personal safety. With increased awareness of the incidence of harassment and violence against women, people are looking for tools and techniques to defend themselves. One such tool that has grown in popularity in recent years is the self defense keychain, a small but potent device that serves as a symbol of empowerment and safety for women of all ages.
#best self defense for women#women's self defense tools#self defense items for women#best women's personal defense#self defense keychain for women
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In todayâs world, personal safety is a top priority, especially for women. A safety keychain can be an essential tool in ensuring peace of mind and protection. This article will explore the features, benefits, and tips for using a safety keychain effectively.
What is a Safety Keychain?
A safety keychain is a compact and portable device designed to help individuals protect themselves in dangerous situations. These keychains often include various tools and features aimed at enhancing personal security.
Key Features of a Safety Keychain
Pepper Spray: A small canister of pepper spray can be easily attached to a keychain. It's a powerful tool to deter an attacker by causing temporary blindness and difficulty breathing.
Personal Alarm: Many safety keychains come with a loud personal alarm that can be activated in emergencies to draw attention and scare off potential threats.
Kubotan: A kubotan is a small, pointed self-defense tool that can be used to strike an attacker. It's discreet and can be used for self-defense in close encounters.
Flashlight: A mini LED flashlight is useful for illuminating dark areas, making it easier to navigate and identify potential threats.
Seatbelt Cutter and Glass Breaker: In case of a car accident, a seatbelt cutter can help free you from a stuck seatbelt, and a glass breaker can be used to escape from a car with locked doors.
Benefits of Carrying a Safety Keychain
Enhanced Personal Security: With various tools at your disposal, you can feel more secure knowing you have options to protect yourself.
Convenience: Safety keychains are compact and lightweight, making them easy to carry around without adding bulk to your belongings.
Peace of Mind: Knowing you have a tool for self-defense can provide peace of mind, reducing anxiety when walking alone or in unfamiliar places.
Preparedness: In an emergency, having a safety keychain means you are prepared to act quickly and efficiently.
Tips for Using a Safety Keychain
Familiarize Yourself with the Tools: Practice using the keychain tools so you know how to operate them in a high-stress situation.
Keep It Accessible: Ensure your safety keychain is easily accessible, whether it's attached to your bag, belt loop, or in your pocket.
Stay Aware of Your Surroundings: A safety keychain is most effective when combined with situational awareness. Stay alert and be aware of your environment.
Take Self-Defense Classes: Consider taking a self-defense class to learn techniques that can be used in conjunction with your safety keychain.
Regularly Check Your Keychain: Make sure all components of your safety keychain are in good working order and replace any expired items like pepper spray.
Conclusion
A safety keychain can be a vital part of a woman's personal safety strategy. With its variety of tools and ease of use, it provides a practical solution for self-defense and emergency situations. By understanding its features, benefits, and proper usage, you can enhance your personal security and walk with confidence.
#Portable Safety Tool#Portable Self Defense#Self Defense Tools#Self Defense Kit#Emergency Keychain#Self Defense Tips#Personal Safety Gear#Women's Self Defense#Keychain Protection#Safety Keychain#Self Defense Gadgets#Keychain Safety Device#Self Defense Accessories#Safety First#Selfdefense Keychain#Girl#Woman#Safety Awareness#Prevent Theft#2000s
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Tell me in the comment section which color you like?đ€#fyp #tiktok #gift #girls #keychain #safehands #design
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Book Recommendations đđ
Business and Leadership:
"Good to Great" by Jim Collins
"The Lean Startup" by Eric Ries
"Zero to One" by Peter Thiel
"Leaders Eat Last" by Simon Sinek
"Outliers: The Story of Success" by Malcolm Gladwell
Success and Personal Development:
"The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen R. Covey
"Mindset: The New Psychology of Success" by Carol S. Dweck
"Atomic Habits" by James Clear
"Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance" by Angela Duckworth
"The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg
Mental Health and Well-being:
"The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle
"Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" by David D. Burns
"The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brené Brown
"The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook" by Edmund J. Bourne
"The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook" by Matthew McKay, Jeffrey C. Wood, and Jeffrey Brantley
Goal Setting and Achievement:
"Goals!: How to Get Everything You WantâFaster Than You Ever Thought Possible" by Brian Tracy
"The 12 Week Year" by Brian P. Moran and Michael Lennington
"Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us" by Daniel H. Pink
"The One Thing" by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan
"Smarter Faster Better" by Charles Duhigg
Relationships and Communication:
"How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie
"The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman
"Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High" by Al Switzler, Joseph Grenny, and Ron McMillan
"Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life" by Marshall B. Rosenberg
"Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" by John Gray
Self-Help and Personal Growth:
"The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" by Mark Manson
"Daring Greatly" by Brené Brown
"Awaken the Giant Within" by Tony Robbins
"The Miracle Morning" by Hal Elrod
"You Are a Badass" by Jen Sincero
Science and Popular Science:
"Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind" by Yuval Noah Harari
"The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks" by Rebecca Skloot
"Cosmos" by Carl Sagan
"A Short History of Nearly Everything" by Bill Bryson
"The Selfish Gene" by Richard Dawkins
Health and Nutrition:
"The China Study" by T. Colin Campbell and Thomas M. Campbell II
"In Defense of Food" by Michael Pollan
"Why We Sleep" by Matthew Walker
"Born to Run" by Christopher McDougall
"The Omnivore's Dilemma" by Michael Pollan
Fiction and Literature:
"To Kill a Mockingbird" by Harper Lee
"1984" by George Orwell
"The Great Gatsby" by F. Scott Fitzgerald
"The Catcher in the Rye" by J.D. Salinger
"Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen
#books#books and reading#reading#goodreads#bookshelf#bookish#readersofinstagram#reading list#personal improvement#personal development#life advice#advice
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Hereâs some practical and pragmatic self-defense advice for trans femmes. Use it wisely
https://archive.org/details/tmaselfdefense?
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Personally, I think a bigger obstacle to overcome when it comes to moids isn't the physical but the social. Many believe that physical strength is the problem for women and while I wont discount it; it's not the main problem imo. It's possible to take down much bigger people/things with the right mind + tools; it's why humans are on top of the animal kingdom despite being below average in speed/height/strength compared to other species. Weapons like tranquillisers & guns were created to kill much bigger animals; vehicles were created to travel at faster speeds than we can cover with our legs. Things like this allowed humans to architect the world around us.
Women have been able to take down moids despite them being physically stronger - women poisoned & shot moids fatally. Before puberty for maIes sets in, many young girls are able to physically defend themselves from moidlets in a similar age range however this brings social issues. Regardless of self defense laws in many countries women get punished for fighting back. Many women are in prison or have been charged for fighting back against their abusive partners while the law turns a blind eye at maIe abusers. Women receive longer sentences on average for killing in self defense than moids do for killing women in cold blood. Women are told to go through the legal system which only delays the inevitable of the moid taking her life cause the system is useless. Women are set up to fail and society is set up to habour moid evil.
There's a place called Longyearbyen near the north pole. It doesn't have typical day/night cycles, has one main shopping center, and people aren't allowed to die there bc it's so cold there's risk of infection as the bodies don't decompose, oh and they live among bears. All the citizens must be trained with guns so they can shoot a bear if it ever poses a threat. Now despite bears being much bigger & stronger than humans, humans are able to be near them and build lives independently bc they're able to take down bears* that are a threat. In any reasonable non maIeworshipping society that still kept xys around a similar thing could be done; for women to be armed to shoot moids when they pose a threat so they can at least walk around with a peace of mind. Because it's not just a thing of biology or socialisation when it comes to moid degeneracy, many of them abuse women because they know they wont face consequences for their actions as society paves the way for them to abuse women. In a nigerian state state the government were offering gun licenses to people so they can defend themselves from bandits (no victim blaming, no telling the citizens to 'pick better', etc because the system doesn't benefit from bandits as it does from maIe violence).
In the 1900s when women successfully used hatpins to fend off moids that wanted to sexually assault them, they got regulated, hatpins had to have protection & could only be a certain length. So not only is it not a fair fight physically but socially. Many women who've been trafficked get imprisoned for fighting & killing their captors. You dont see moids who are killed or harmed by women defending themselves get blamed for it for initiating attacks but women get blamed for being on the end of moid degeneracy. It's more difficult to fight the social differences because as humans we're social creatures typically bound to the laws + cultural views of the land even when women defend themselves they're seen as extremists or the abusers themselves which brings being ostracised + further abuse. Mixed sex societies are practically open air prisons women are held hostage in.
*Given that bears are a hot topic lately, imagine humans forced to live around bears defenselessly bc the bears benefitted from it. Imagine after numerous bear attacks that humans are still expected to be around bears (with no protection) & are just told to find good ones to trust even though they all have the capacity for their violence. Imagine people getting into politics over which bears are worse or more vulnerable (black, brown, white) meanwhile they're all dangerous as a whole. Imagine a chance that humans had to fight back against a bear attack & win yet they get punished by other bears for doing so but nothing happens if it's the other way around. I can go on but it starts to come together how fucked & a set up to fail mixed sex societies are for women & before anyone tells me "but bears aren't human!1!" for the past month most women have said they'd rather be with bears than moids in the forest.
#Under male supremacy women are set up to fail.#blackpill feminist#blackpill feminism#female separatist#female separatism#Society with moids will never work in womens favour moids benefit too much from womens suffering
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Self-defense keychains are important safety accessories that every woman should carry. These keychains are compact, handy, and effective, empowering women to take responsibility for their personal safety while also providing additional protection and peace of mind in today's society. Women can go about their daily lives and travel the world with confidence when they carry a self-defense keychain and are prepared to defend themselves if required. Explore MUNIO as they provide the best self defense for women keychains and online classes.Â
#best self defense for women#women's self defense tools#best women's personal defense#self defense items for women
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Tal Mitnick, an 18 years old Israeli that refused to serve in the military:
It's not just a couple of soldiers that are bad soldiers or that enact violent occupation on Palestinians, it's actually a whole system of violence. Of pulling people into the army and making them work for the occupation and for oppressing Palestinians.
Militarism in Israel is very entrenched in society. And the military is some golden goose that you're not allowed to touch. You're allowed to criticize the government, you're allowed to go out for gay rights, for women's rights. But when it comes to criticizing military action against Palestinians or other oppressed communities, this is totally out of the norm. You cannot speak against the military because it's so entrenched in society.
A lot of conversations start with the military, and because most people did serve, it's seen as this kind of thing that everyone needs to pass in order to become an Israeli.
So. Yeah. When you're older you don't feel ostracized as much because after a while it's less relevant to daily life. At least in my experience, I didn't serve and it's not really talked about much at this point.
In Jewish Israeli society, the military is trusted more than most other institutions. Tbh, more than any other institution I can think of. And it's seen as a right of passage. Some people will be okay with you if you volunteer for a social service instead - work at hospitals, schools, etc. Others think you shouldn't get the choice, and unless there's a medical issue you should be going to the military.
The narrative of self defense is absolutely believed, so by refusing to serve, those kids are seen as saying "I will enjoy the sacrifice made by others, but I will not contribute myself." It's seen as ungrateful. But that's if you don't express a moral objection to the military.
If you challenge the military itself, you're challenging Israeli society. And that's how it's taken. "I refuse to participate in the occupation" - "So you're saying I did something bad by serving. You're saying I'm a bad person." And when most of Israelis served in the military, and those that didn't serve often still support it or have loved ones that did or still do, this is challenging the moral character of pretty much all of us. Which, it should.
The military nurtures a mindset of dehumanization to a scary degree. I listened to a few interviews with stories from Breaking the Silence, an organization meant to bring to light the way the military abuses Palestinians, and there's something described by Yehuda Shaul.
He tells the story of serving in Hebron, in the West Bank, and he describes the daily stated mission of soldiers there.
While on patrol at night, they pick a random Palestinian house - explicitly one that they have no intelligence against, a civilian family - and they get in, wake the family up, separate men from women, search or something, get on the roof, jump to the next roof, get into that house, wake that family up, treat them the same way.
Again, at random. And he described two goals for this:
One, to create the feeling of being persecuted, and two, to make our presence felt.
They want Palestinians to feel beaten down and powerless, and they want them to feel that the military is everywhere, so they're too scared to resist.
This isn't random rogue soldiers, this is what the military does there on a normal day. And he said it's impossible to treat a population this way without seeing them as less human than we are.
I don't know if I can just say that the military is another tool for indoctrination in addition to everything else it does. But as a kid, I had a left-leaning friend from the Tel Aviv area, and we'd argue a lot. Because you don't need to be a full on leftist to disagree very strongly with a teenage settler. And as I was going through the process of changing my mind, I saw him going through the same process in the opposite direction - he became way more right wing during his military service. He told me the stories of why, and all those stories did was make me feel like I don't even know this person. I wonder sometimes how many young people go through the same.
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A keychain set designed for women's safety typically includes various tools that can be used in emergency situations to provide a sense of security and protection.
Women's Safety Keychain Set
1. Personal Alarm: A small, lightweight device that emits a loud siren when activated. Itâs designed to attract attention and deter potential attackers. The alarm is usually activated by pulling a pin or pressing a button.
2. Pepper Spray: A compact canister containing a chemical compound that irritates the eyes, causing tears, pain, and temporary blindness. Itâs an effective self-defense tool to incapacitate an assailant.
3. Whistle: A simple yet effective tool for drawing attention in an emergency. The loud sound can alert others nearby to your distress.
4. Flashlight: A small, high-powered LED flashlight that provides visibility in dark or low-light conditions. Some flashlights may have strobe functions to disorient an attacker.
5. Kubotan: A small, handheld self-defense tool that can be used to deliver painful strikes. Itâs often used to target pressure points and can be carried easily on a keychain.
6. Safety Key: A compact tool designed to break glass in case of an emergency, such as being trapped in a car. It often includes a seatbelt cutter for additional safety.
7. GPS Tracker: A tiny device that can be attached to your keychain and linked to your smartphone. It allows loved ones to track your location in real-time for added security.
8. Multi-tool: A versatile tool that includes various functions like a small knife, screwdriver, and bottle opener. Itâs useful for everyday tasks and can be a handy addition to the safety set.
Benefits:
Portability: The tools are compact and lightweight, making them easy to carry on a keychain or in a purse.
Readiness: Having these tools readily available can provide peace of mind and quick access in emergency situations.
Versatility: The variety of tools ensures that you have multiple options for different types of emergencies, whether it's self-defense, alerting others, or escaping from a dangerous situation.
Usage Tips:
Familiarize Yourself: Take time to learn how each tool works. Practice using them so you can respond quickly and effectively in an emergency.
Stay Alert: Always be aware of your surroundings and trust your instincts. Use the tools as part of a broader personal safety strategy.
Regular Checks: Ensure that all tools are in working order. Replace batteries in devices like alarms and flashlights regularly.
Conclusion:
A womenâs safety keychain set is an invaluable investment for personal security. It empowers women with the tools they need to protect themselves and respond to emergencies confidently.
#Portable Safety Tool#Portable Self Defense#Self Defense Tools#Self Defense Kit#Emergency Keychain#Self Defense Tips#Personal Safety Gear#Women's Self Defense#Keychain Protection#Safety Keychain#Self Defense Gadgets#Keychain Safety Device#Self Defense Accessories#artists on tumblr#spilled ink#trans#art#artists
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s2 episode 7 thoughts
hmm. hmm. that is the sound if me pondering what i just watched.
(i understand that this episode was an analysis into mulder's self-destructive behaviors when faced with overwhelming grief, but. that does not mean i enjoyed vampire hookup time)
well. we shall start from the top!
i read that it was an episode about vampires which i thought was a weird narrative choice because. hello. scully still gone??? but then i remembered that i too ignored the main quest in skyrim to hunt some vampires and that i had no place to judge
(granted, my main quest wasn't finding scully though. might have given that a bit more priority than saving the whole world. because she IS my whole world)
we open with a guy that looks like joe biden meeting with an attractive young woman. they're making out in a hot tub and we just know someone is gonna get slurped upon. and woe, it be upon us! double vampire attack.
back in DC, mulder gets his old office back! it's covered in plastic. he takes some of it off. he adjusts his calendar from may to november, so we see how much time he and scully had been assigned to other tasks, which also has me wondering how she managed to get a new house that quick.
(also, this calendar is... scantily clad women posing next to tools such as hammers and saws. was this allowed? was this acceptable? was it normal? were the 90's a lawless wasteland and mulder an irreparable freak?)
well. scully is an x file now, and he puts her glasses and id into an evidence bag and closes the filing cabinet which was sooooo evil. but he can't bring himself to put her necklace away. oh man. oh he's gotta have it in case he finds her. he has to hold her close. i'm Fine this is Fine.
so. he goes out to california to deal with the joe biden looking fellow being murdered. and he is not wanted on the crime scene. we know this because someone greets him by saying "nobody called the bureau" and he says "well, they should have" and lifts up the tape to let himself in. because one thing about him is that he's gonna let himself into a place he isn't wanted.
he sees the writing of a bible verse in blood on the wall and says something about their grasp of biblical knowledge being "feeble and literal" and i was like okayyy need to have a theological discussion with him
he then scares the other guy who originally wanted to kick him out by reciting a LARGE amount of facts related to similar cases and it's very much giving photographic memory. got me thinking, have we ever seen this man forget something? (directions don't count. they're confusing. but everything else sticks in that man's brain)
he just needs one thing: a phone book. which he uses to call a blood bank and ask about a new guy. who must be the vampire who did this!
so he rolls up to the blood bank and i'm over here struggling because i do Not Do Blood, and i knew at this point this was gonna be a tough watch, but i didn't anticipate the non-blood related reasons why this would be true
anyway he's sniffing around the blood bank and he hears some slurping and wouldn't you know, this dude is tearing into a bag of the red stuff like it's a capri sun. somehow he gets him into custody, where the dude refuses to talk because the lights are on, and mulder comes in with a lamp he put a red filter over, because he was prepared for vampire interrogation.
the vampire is going on about how what he did isn't murder because it's not like animals hunting prey is murder which is. not the greatest approach in terms of legal defense. mulder tells the guard that the guy is delusional and it's best to play along, and he believed this to be true... until he, quite literally, burned to a crisp in the sunlight. and died.
he's talking to the coroner and rattling off a bunch of vampire facts and says he didn't believe in vampires which is so funny to me because like. why is that where you draw the line, my friend. not at bigfoot and definitely not at aliens. but man. vampires are just too out there for spooky mulder. until now!
the coroner has a very funny line: "you are really upsetting me... on several levels" which seems to be the general effect fox mulder has on people. and also because i felt the same way about his dumbass actions during this episode.
coroner finds a stamp on the dead body's hand, which seems to come from a nightclub. so naturally our fbi agent ends up there.
you often see posts saying that "(insert character here) should be at the club". i fear that this is not the case for fox mulder, but it's possible that it's his suit and tie that are throwing me off. he just doesn't seem like he belongs there. i ask myself, where should he be instead? perhaps some sort of star wars convention would suit him better. a book signing with some author he likes. idk, an interior decorating festival. not here.
i shall use my verbatim words to walk you through the next scene:
"pause. he's talking to a woman who was looking into a compact without a mirror. so. vampire suspect. and now why are they getting so close together. and getting a drink. okay now they're leaving to a new spot together? AFTER she admits to vampirism"
(here she did some stuff that required me to look away from my screen due to my Weak Constitution. but also it would have felt necessary to look away anyway because it was getting... charged)
she tries to get him to... suck on her finger... but he won't do it because aids. which is fair. i think that's a smart move, actually. it's just that getting flirty with a vampire he knows was involved with a ton of killings was such a stupid move, i don't know why it's now the braincells start to kick in.
that kills the vibe, though, so she gets another guy to take his place and things escalate.
mulder pulls in at a restaurant called ra. nice! the sun god! and he is... through a window, witnessing some more slurping action. he seems to want to intervene and save this poor soul being feasted upon...
but the poor soul is no poor soul at all! he comes out and decks mulder, and delivers this line with stunning conviction: "i don't know who you are, freak, but we're two consenting adults" and with this, he is forced to flee.
and yeah. it made me laugh. my expectations for the genre were subverted. he signed up for that shit! what he did not sign up for, however, was the next part, where he was killed by the other vampires.
cut to investigating the crime scene. mulder has brought along a forensic dentist, which is a job i had no idea you could go into. he needs to see about those bites, which are very human.
next they go to vampire woman's house. it's a very nice place. mulder... opens her oven. and sees a loaf of bread in there. and i'm thinking, man, i hope this doesn't go where i think it's going. baked goods... ovens... i never want a vampire pregnancy arc. but he cracks open the loaf and something red spills out and somehow, this to him means that she is gone and isn't coming back. he can read the signs of the bread. so add that to his resume. what did the bread tell you, my liege?
he seems to have stayed in her house, however, because he's there when she's back, and says he knows she was using the bread as a charm to ward off evil. because apparently that's an eastern european thing, blood bread to warn off evil. sound off if any eastern europeans in the chat wanna confirm or deny.
anyway. he's IN this woman he thinks is a vampire's HOUSE? what the hell. mulder seriously i need you to stop and think. like you should have stopped and done some thinking a while ago. honestly i'm not mad i'm just disappointed. and he's like "i want to save you come with me before they kill you" ohhh big tough man needs to save her huh. make him feel good inside. huh. certainly no ulterior motive here...
she's monologing about her horrible childhood and how sweet blood tastes. um girl. don't lie to him like that. i have busted my lip open before that stuff does NOT taste sweet and dangerous. it's like a penny with rust that you found in a parking lot.
it seems her vampiric origin story, if to be believed, is that things simply got too kinky. which is a new take on the genre.
(it's also about being caught in an abusive relationship and the damage that inflicts, but it seems abusive boyfriend came into vampirism at his kinky parties and things escalated from there. which. well. it blew the eyebrows clean off my head, to be fair)
at this point we see that he is WEARING SCULLY'S NECKLACE? he says something like "it's from someone i lost" and she says that she "hopes he finds her"
i did not like the undertones here and certainly not the overtones. because i knew where this was going. he was shaving in her bathroom. and let me tell you something: there is only ever a shaving scene in media because the writer needs a way to get some blood out of someone's body and into the real world. and man. i knew it was coming.
but what i didn't see coming was her SHAVING HIM??? girl. i am uncomfy. and she does, of course, cut him, and then they kiss. aggressively. terribly aggressively. can anyone answer what was going on in a satisfactory manner?
but the gag is: the original vampire- who burnt to a crisp in the jail cell, and was the abusive ex she spoke of- HE'S WATCHING THEM THROUGH THE WINDOW!
he breaks in and taunts the vampire woman about how he had to "wait for her to finish" and i was like cool. thank you SO much for that mental image i'm super happy with it. i definitely don't feel like i need a shower. but then he's going on about how he can't be killed.
here, at the tail end of the episode, we learn the rules of vampirism in this world: a vampire cannot be killed by a non-vampire. and a non-vampire BECOMES a vampire by consuming the blood of a believer and also taking a life. it is only here we realize that this woman is not an actual vampire yet, she just appropriates their culture by drinking blood unnecessarily.
mulder's still sleeping in her bed and she's like "you need to leave" and she stabs the wall to make her evil ex think she's killing him. but when they go to break out, mulder ties him up quite handily and he gets in the car to escape with vampire woman. until ANOTHER vampire woman jumps on the hood of their car. and main vampire woman knocks her out for a bit by running into her with said car, which is super effective.
mulder's leaving the place in shambles, his shirt still unbuttoned, wandering down the side of the hill. back at the house, now that we know the vampire rules, main vampire woman says she can finally kill the evil vampire ex. and he's like how!! you haven't had the blood of a believer or taken a life. so. she licks the blood off her hands (unclear if it's hers or mulders tbh) and says she'll take her own life. and drops a match after pouring gasoline.
so. that brings that to an end. and shabby looking mulder sits on a hill as he learns all four in the house died.
the episode ends with him playing with scully's necklace. which i don't even sort of feel like unpacking right now but maybe another time.
probably not, though, because i just didn't like this episode. and yeah, a lot of it comes down to me not wanting to see mulder hook up with people who aren't scully. can you blame me? is it so wrong to have preferences in this world?
but also, narrative wise- do you honestly see the guy fucking off to cali while scully's still missing to deal with an unrelated problem instead of devoting every hour of his life to finding her, like we saw him do in the last episode? you expect me to think he just puts it off for a lil while? the guy who, just last episode, pulled his gun on the ski lift operator to get to the top where she might be a little faster, and then choked his one and only suspect out of fury? you're thinking this is the guy that's gonna go soak up some west coast rays?
and yeah, he was obviously not himself through the episode- very cold and analytical- but c'mon. we all want to bang a vampire. he's not special. i just personally wouldn't do that if my friend were gone. like how is that gonna help the situation. be so for real. time and place!
and also the whole only learning the rules of being a vampire about 5 minutes before they need it to be plot relevant. that annoyed me too.
overall, mulder, like i said, i'm not mad, just disappointed.
let me know what you thought on this episode- i try to not be a hater, but i also understand that hating in small doses can be good for the soul. if it's a widely beloathed episode i'll feel better in my judgement as i join a long tradition of haters who have come before me.
#i think i shall choose to ignore this episode going forward#sometimes he is so violently a Man it's shocking.#like the sexy tool calendar? i cannot keep defending him. throwing tomatoes as we speak. they're splattering his shirt.#man if i was missing and i learned my friend hooked up with a vampire to distract from the sorrow i'd be pissed as hell#i'd be all#and how did that help the situation. did it lead you to find me. why weren't you LOOKING for me.#is this vampire more important to you? is she gonna take my place? answer your 3 am calls and stand up for you against workplace bullying?#and you WORE my NECKLACE? the one my MOTHER GAVE ME? as a birthday present when i was 15? when you FUCKED HER?#THE HOLY CROSS MY CATHOLIC MOM GAVE ME? you wore it while i was MIA? inside a VAMPIRE?#oh i would never let that GO! if i were scully i would simply never let him live that down. it would be awkward asf between us for a bit#sighs. maybe i'm too petty. maybe i hold a grudge too deeply. all things that have been said about me before!#scully baby if ur reading this i would NEVER engage in any sort of recreational activity until i found u again okay? don't settle for less#juni's x files liveblog#txf#the x files
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How to spot a Stereotype: An Example
Okay, so I talked about this in my Lesson 6 Stereotypes series, but I feel like people haven't quite... Understood what I meant. So I'm doing a mini lesson/application. First, I'd really appreciate it if you take the time to read the links in my posts, because that will provide you the historical and social context necessary. If you lack it, you will never be fully able to understand this. Remember, all I do here is provide the beginning steps. You have to be willing to do the rest!
One thing I constantly emphasize is that it's not the description of a character that (always) reveals an existing stereotype, but the writing! And again, until you grasp why anti-Black stereotypes are what they are, you will continue to be frustrated with how to avoid incorporating them, both in your writing and in your mindset. I'm going to use one stereotype as an example.
The Mammy Stereotype
"[Black woman character] is very fond, doting, and protective. She's like the team mom of the group."
On the surface, people who are worried about this stereotype will worry, because Black readers have long rolled their eyes and said we're tired of seeing this as one of the Only Options for Black women characters. And we are. Here's the disconnect: the attributes are not what we're tired of, but how they were utilized in the writing- often by non-Black writers!
Mammy: put simply, the caricature of the Mammy is the Black nursemaid that would take care of the Master's white children and the Mistress, prioritizing them above the well-being of herself, her own children, and her own community. She is fat and homely (so as not to attract the Master from the Mistress), unthreatening, sweet and subservient.
In other words, the only value she held was to serve white people's needs (and quench their guilt).
While the image of the Mammy herself is a strong imagery that has faded from its specific origin, I would say the modern day fan archetypes that ring of the Mammy stereotype are the Black woman character that "holds the Braincell", the "begrudgingly fond mother of the group", the canon love interest now relegated to the "mommy/mean lesbian" whose feelings are erased altogether, her new role to help the two white characters get together without acknowledgment of her own potential. She has no real story of her own, or as mentioned, has her own story stolen because "it doesn't look good with her in it" (which is its own bag of worms).
Now, people often give these characters motherly (or what society deems motherly) traits: caring, sweet, protective, loving, self sacrificial. Because they want to defensively show that "they're a great person! Nothing bad! I still think they're good! I'm not racist!"
But upon learning of the stereotype, there appears this insecurity- "oh, my Black woman character has these traits, is she playing into this stereotype?" When you get to this question, what you really need to be asking yourself is:
What makes the Mammy a Mammy?
They are a tool, a utility to white people with more power.
They lack autonomy. How they feel is irrelevant, if it does not serve the white person.
Nonthreatening so as to feel "harmless" to white people who bask in her "selfless" care.
They are not allowed to show frustration or upset at their lot or at life; it is seen as a negative attribute because if they are not caring, they have no use (and may now even be considered a threat).
They will also disagree with anyone else, even to the detriment of themselves, to the benefit of the white person. This is considered "selfless", rather than sacrifice (consider that "real" Mammies were originally slaves. They probably hated every single day with the people they "cared" for, but God forbid they speak on it. To white people, they were supposedly so happy and grateful! Smile and nod!)
Notice, out of the things I listed, "strong", "protective", "intelligent", and "caring" (on its own) weren't there! Because those aren't bad attributes for a Black character to have! Why would we ever suggest that?? Why would I be mad that a Black woman was any of those wonderful things to her peers? That's not the issue. The issue is that they are often used in service of usually white characters and their stories. They're a tool of the writer to coddle their white characters, versus a character that has their own inner workings and existence.
Knowing what you know now; things that would make your strong, protective, and caring Black woman character fit the Mammy stereotype can include:
If she is pushed to the side with no autonomy or inner life of her own, as the narrative centers the white characters and their needs.
If she is never shown to have any reason for acting outside of to the benefit of the white characters around her. That's the only time her presence counts.
If her disagreeing with, getting upset with, or refusing (or really, just not being "motherly") the white characters is deemed trashy by the narrative (whereas anyone else receives nuance or reason for their behavior).
If the white characters in the story treat her poorly, and it is treated as a good thing that she "stays calm" without any sort of reflection on her feelings.
You can come up with any sort of setting, plot scenario, and description of your Black woman character. But at the end of the day, what's going to make it the stereotype is how the narrative treats her, which you will only find out by writing it, and then reviewing your own work!
You're going to have to approach any stereotype this way. It's part of the *intent* thing I keep pushing đ
if you don't intend to write a stereotype, you're going to have to actively understand what it is, which will help you actively avoid it.
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Rebranding (Repost)
"How can you be so reckless, Vincent? Be grateful I pulled your ass out of the fire and threw a coat over your sorry self, you idiot. But the fallout... Donât you get that this could totally wreck your whole career?"
"I know, but that bitch..."
"Donât you dare use that word again; it's already bad enough to have it on tape flying around all the gossip shows!"
"Sorry, that... woman..."
"Valery, your girlfriend."
"Ex-girlfriend, or do you really think Iâd stick around after she cheated on me?"
"Understandable you broke up, but threatening her and calling her all those names in front of a bunch of paparazzi? Half-naked, no less! What were you thinking?"
"Thatâs what Iâm asking; what was I thinking when I decided to date a brainless bimbo with fake blonde hair?"
"Be super careful with what you say; after all, thatâs not the image you wanna project, Vincent."
"Ah, Iâm sorry." He replied, eyeing his agent's long blonde hair.
"Apology accepted, asshole. But weâve got bigger fish to fry. So, tell me, what am I supposed to do with you?"
"I didnât get your question."
"But I was so clear that even a bimbo would get it."
"Look, I already apologized for how I acted..."
"It turns out that in our circle, just saying sorry isnât enough. Weâve got an image to protect and sell. Like you said, the vibe Valery gives off fits perfectly with betrayals and gossip sites. But you? Not so much, at least not until this weekâs fiasco. Honestly, I never understood what she saw in you. Sure, youâre a well-known gamer influencer, but youâre just a nerd. Sheâs on another level, with more followers than you, and I bet sheâll be a fashion icon in no time."
"If you called me here just to roast me, Iâm out." He said, getting up.
"Sit your ass down and shut it." Inexplicably, he found himself compelled to do just that.
"Hmmm, hmmm."
"Much better, right? I should've figured out your type way earlier, the nice guy who makes funny videos, the friend to everyone, protesting for minorities... but who, deep down, is just another sexist and misogynist like so many others. Youâre way worse than a dumb jock, you know why, Vincent? Because they donât hide who they are; women can smell the toxic masculinity from a mile away. But you, our so-called allies... what a joke... allies like you? I donât need that. You come at us with your soft words and sensitive hearts, and women like us fall for it. We only catch on to all the microaggressions, the hits to our self-esteem when itâs gone too far, when that happens." She said, pointing to the eye prosthesis.
"I had a heart-to-heart with Valery this morning. Turns out, on top of all that, youâre a lousy performer in bed. Thatâs why sheâs been sneaking around with her gym buddies. Poor girl, always picking the wrong guy, but at least the last dude had an enviable body and an even more enviable... tool, maybe the reason for your little meltdown. In your defense, she swore to me you never laid a finger on her. So, my dear, Iâve decided Iâm not gonna bail on you, and Valeryâs agreed not to press charges. But for everyone to be happy after the mess you made, you both gotta agree to clean up your images. And for that, youâre gonna participate in a reality show! Fun, right?" She finished with a smirk. Vincent's shocked look showed he wasnât finding this fun at all.
"Now, Valery is perfect for the reality show in question, and as for you... weâve got a few months until the next season drops, which I really appreciate, 'cause we need to let the dust settle to work on your image and do a total rebranding. Get up and strip down to your underwear; I donât need to hurt my only eye with the sight of your tiny dick."
Vincent again found himself compelled to comply and robotically followed his manager's orders.
"It really isnât good material! But letâs change that; how about a few years less studying foreign languages and more time getting swole at the gym, Vincent?"
Suddenly, all knowledge of Spanish and French evaporated from his mind. Followed by a weird feeling in his body, starting in his feet, which ballooned from size 8 to size 11. Then his calves, a joke among his friends, widened and showed more definition, as well as his thighs, which grew to the point of making him move one leg away from the other, with a little help from his dick, which went from size 3 to 7. Then his abs started to show the shadow of a six-pack, with defined pecs to match, and finally, his skinny arms gained the size and definition of someone who actually lifts weights at the gym. As soon as it started, the feeling passed.
"Much better, flex those muscles for me, Vincent." And so he did, screaming in horror in his own head, but utterly speechless on the outside.
"I think we still have room for improvement," said Monica distractedly. And Vincent, summoning all his willpower, finally got a moment of clarity, rushing to the table and trying to grab anything he could use against her. Not succeeding he just used all his remaining willpower to raise a fist in defiance.
"Stop right there! A fist? Seriously, Vincent? I figured with all your big-brain intellect youâd come up with something better." She mocked the frozen man.
"Apparently, that intellect isnât all that great. So how about we trade twenty IQ points for another twenty pounds of lean muscle, a few extra inches on your height, on that useless dick of yours, and on those big feet; for some reason, some women go crazy for that!"
Vincent was hit by that odd feeling in his body again, this time accompanied by a sensation of being sucked into his own mind, which prevented him from even thinking. His feet reached a gigantic size 14, giving off a pungent odor, his calves grew until they took on the shape of diamonds, and his thighs expanded to the size of tree trunks; his penis - little Vinnie, a name that popped into his head - reached an impressive 9 inches in length, along with the circumference of a beer can. That hint of a six-pack evolved into a defined eight-pack, and his pecs turned into two slabs of meat, completing the sculpt he developed with broad shoulders and huge, vascularized arms.
"Almost there! The bodyâs perfect, and intellect down to just the right level. But somethingâs missing. How about we swap your obsession with game culture for an obsession with yourself? A few tattoos, and what were you saying about fake blonde tan and bleached blond hair? Letâs make sure the outside represents the inside well, my dear, and the main thing is that every woman who lays eyes on you knows what kind of man sheâs dealing with.
âŠ
The two girls sitting on the sand tried to focus from a distance on who the man was approaching at the edge of the sea.
"Is he mine or yours, Val?"
"I think heâs yours, Brit; from this distance, I canât be sure, but he doesnât look like any of mine... except... no way!"
"What, Val?" asked the other anxiously.
"Wait and see, Britt! But I can guarantee you this is gonna blow some minds!" answered Valery, seeing the young man approaching.
"Hello, ladies!" said the man, exuding cockiness.
"Vincent Parker?" Britt asked in disbelief as Valery just smiled.
"No formalities, girls. You can call me Vinnie!"
#male tf#mind change#reality change#jockification#mental transformation#muscle tf#musclegrowth#dumbification
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Emil Sinclair & Frau Eva
A consistent problem Iâve run into while discussing the novel Demian is the rejection of Emilâs relationship with Eva in favor and treating it as if it is nothing but a tool to analyze the relationship that he shares with Demian. People treat his feelings towards Eva as fake, imagined, and entirely as misplaced affections that he holds towards Demian and become quite defensive when told that isnât the case in the actual text of the book. Iâm no stranger to interpreting things in ways that donât quite match canon, especially when they make me uncomfortable, and it is clear to me that discomfort or even disgust is how a lot of people view this relationship as given the age gap between them and the general preference for seeing Emil with Demian instead of Eva. I have no problems with that aspect of this little debate, discomfort is more than allowed and Iâm not writing this to force people into liking the idea of their relationship.
What I am writing this for, and what I do find a problem with, is the way that people attempt to force an erasure of this aspect of the book and will accuse people of misreading the novel when acknowledging its existence. To say that someone does not understand the book or Emilâs character because they made reference to his love for Eva or his general affinity for mature women just seems to signal that there is a confusion of what the book actually says. Emil does love Eva and it is not misplaced love for Demian. From the moment he dreams of her to the moment Demian passes a kiss from his mother to Emil, Emil loves her. (That doesnât mean he doesnât also love Demian, by the way, but this post/essay isnât about that, so I wonât be dwelling on the feelings he holds for Demian).
This is not going to be a complete, in-depth look at her character and role in the story and will instead simply focus on the actual relationship Emil has with her throughout the story and the ways that the novel sets up their relationship and makes it explicitly clear what sort of relationship exists between them. I feel it has been a massive disservice to her character to view her as nothing more than a woman getting in the way of a relationship or as if all of the quite beautiful descriptions of her person and effect on Emil are inconsequential and/or imagined, so I hope that this does some justice to Hesseâs work.
All quotes taken from the translation of the novel done by W. J. Strachan.
To begin, I will actually be talking about Max Demian himself, because Eva can be understood through son as he acts as a bit of a proto-Eva in Emil's life. They have a similar appearance, as it is often noted, they both bear the âsignâ, they are deeply linked to Emilâs personal growth and relationship with the world, so to get a full grasp of his relationship with Eva it is also important to look at how he sees Demian and the key overlaps between them. So, let's look at one of the descriptions Emil writes of his dear friend.
This remarkable boy seemed older than he looked; he did not in fact seem like a boy at all. He moved among us more childish members of the school strangely mature, like a man, or rather a gentleman. He was not popular; he took no part in games, still less in the general rough and tumble and it was only the firm self-confident tone he adapted in his attitude towards the masters that won him favour with the other boys. He was called Max Demian.
Note how it focuses on his age and maturity, even though he is literally a couple years older than Emil, spiritually, thematically, he is older than even that. He is like a man, an adult. Here's a similar passage from another moment where Emil describes his friend:
I saw Demian's face and remarked that it was not a boy's face but a man's and then I saw, or rather became aware, that it was not really the face of a man either; it had something different about it, almost a feminine element. And for the time being his face seemed neither masculine nor childish, neither old nor young but a hundred years old, almost timeless and bearing the mark of other periods of history than our own.
Once again we see that he is more than a child, Demian is aged, grown, but not old nor young. In contrast to Emil who is youthful and immature, someone who has not yet begun his true journey. Here we also see a hint at there being a feminine element to Demian. Demian represents not just the fact that he is mature and capable of leading Emil through the spiritual journey he so longs for, but that he is not limited to just one world. He is not stuck in the dichotomy of light and dark, of masculine and feminine, of age and youth, he is both and neither.
Continuing the subject of maturity, we can take a look at the moment we share with Alfons Beck, a relationship that Emil describes with "we seemed to have a perfect understanding of each other" and, while a character who does not stay around long, acts as a mentor in the way he teaches Emil to grow up when it concerns sexuality and affections. It isn't long after this moment that Emil begins his venture into the world of darkness and almost loses himself to indulgence and excess of drinking and what have you, but it is clear from the later scenes with Knauer that Emil retains this personal growth surrounding sex and desire.
I heard amazing things; things I would not have thought possible were trotted out as part of everyday reality and seemed quite normal. Alfons Beck had already gained experience of women in his less than eighteen years of life. He had learned, for example, that girls were only out for flirtation and attention, which was all very agreeable but not the real thing. There was more chance of that with mature women. They were much more reasonable. You could talk with Frau Jaggelt who kept the stationer's shop, and a book could not contain all the various goings-on behind her counter. I sat there spell-bound and stupefied. Certainly I could never have loved Frau Jaggelt - but nevertheless it was terrific. There seemed to be hidden springs as least for my seniors, whose existence had never suspected. It all had a false ring about it, a more ordinary and insignificant flavour than love should have, in my opinion, but at all events it was life and adventure and I was sitting next to someone who had actually experienced it and to whom it seemed a normal thing.
By the end of this talk, Emil feels like a boy listening to a man. He understands that in this area he is behind, yet still is drawn to it. Alfons Beck is here, quite clearly, setting up and building upon the themes of maturity, especially that of women. This is very important seeing how it is one of the first times he is so explicit about his feelings regarding sexuality, and it is not by accident that this conversation regards mature, older women.
Another element here is that Emil points out that he finds more passing encounters, attraction without the intent to form a significant relationship, to be not founded in love - or at least the type of love he desires. I point this out because it establishes the idea that the types of relationships and attraction Emil is most interested in are ones that are serious and lasting. Quick, temporary connections excite him, intrigue him, because of course they do, he is a young man away from home and free to explore the world for the first time in his life and he has wants and desires. But, as we will see in his actions towards Eva later on, what he is most interested in a more true kind of love.
I'm going to hop straight to the painting next, as it is the real start of his relationship with Eva. There's a lot with the painting that I don't believe needs to be quoted directly so I've chosen a description of his realization of who it reminds him of.
Then one morning when I awoke from one of these dreams, I suddenly recognized it. It looked so fantastically familiar and seemed to call out my name. It appeared to know me as a mother, as if its eyes had been fixed on me all my life. I stared at the picture with beating heart, the close, brown hair, the half-feminine mouth, the strong forehead with its strange brightness-which it had assumed of its own accord-and I realized that my recognition, my rediscovery and knowledge of it were becoming more and more a reality.
He says after this that it resembles Demian, it was not his features exactly but there is no mistaking the fact that it was ultimately Demian's face. A motherly, matured woman version of Demian. This will later be seen to be the same description he gives Eva, even beyond the fact that he explicitly states that it is her as I'll quote later.
The effects this painting have on him are, as we all know, quite extreme and trigger many contradictory feelings within him. It is obvious that he worships it, he puts it on the wall in a way he can look at the face first thing in the morning, the same way one would look at a lover in bed upon waking up, he cries over it and clearly experiences intense lust and attraction towards the figure depicted in it. He also finds these feelings towards it revolting and terrifying, and would sometimes call it a devil and a murderer. At this point in the story, he still has lingering shame for these sorts of desires, even if he has begun to embrace them in some ways, he hasnât fully overcome his belief that the world is separated in two halves and as a result views many things in extremes of both the most beautiful parts of the world of the light and the worst of the tempting world of darkness.
But for full context on this painting, we also need to look at the dream in which its subject appeared in, the most important dream of his life that he dreamed of night after night.
This dream, the most important and enduring of my life, followed this pattern: I was on my way to my parents' home and over the main entrance the heraldic bird gleamed gold on an azure ground. My mother walked towards me but when I entered and she was about to kiss me, it was no longer she but a form I had never set eyes on, tall and strong with a look of Max Demian and my painted portrait - yet it was somehow different and despite the robust frame, very feminine. The form drew me to itself and enveloped me in a deep, shuddering embrace. My feelings were a mixture of ecstasy and horror, the embrace was at once an act of worship and a crime. The form that embraced me had something about it of both my mother and my friend Demian and also this embrace violated every sense of religious awe, yet it was bliss. Sometimes I awoke out of this dream with a feeling of ecstasy, sometimes in mortal fear and with a tortured conscience as if I had committed some terrible sin.
Here we see Emil's most important dream: one where he is filled with ecstasy when embracing a figure that is a sort of halfway point between his mother and his friend. I'm going to share another passage from later, when he sees Frau Eva for the first time since childhood.
Sensing my interest in them, she took me into the house, looked out a leather album and showed me a photograph of Demian's mother. I could hardly remember her but now that I had the small photograph before me my heart stood still. It was the picture of my dreams. There she was, the tall, almost masculine figure, looking like her son, but with maternal traits, traits of severity and deep passion, beautiful and alluring, beautiful and unapproachable, daimon and mother, fate and lover. There was no mistaking her! The discovery that my dream image existed on this earth affected me like some fantastic miracle! So there was a woman who looked like that, who bore the features of my destiny! Where was she? Where? And she was Demian's mother!
So, this figure he dreams about, the figure he paints? It is Frau Eva. And we see here that, much like how her son is described as feminine, she is described as masculine. She also is inherently full of contrasts: daimon and mother, beautiful and unapproachable. Frau Eva and Demian follow the same pattern of being opposing natures who exist in one, the deconstruction of the binary and embracing something that is less easy to categorize. They embody the same ideals as Abraxas, of Emil's dreams.
Speaking of Abraxas and Frau Eva, here is his proper introduction to her as an adult.
With eyes moistened with tears I gazed at my painting, absorbed in my reflections. Then my glance dropped. Under the picture of the bird in the opened door stood a tall woman in a dark dress. It was she. I was unable to utter a word. From a face that resembled her son's, timeless and ageless and full of inward strength, the beautiful, dignified woman gave me a friendly smile. Her gaze was fulfillment, her greeting a homecoming. Silently I stretched out my hands towards her. She took them both in her warm. firm hands. "You are Sinclair. I recognized you at once. Welcome!" Her voice was deep and warm. I drank it up like sweet wine. And now I looked up and into her quiet face, the black unfathomable eyes, at her fresh, ripe lips, the open, queenly brow that bore the 'sign.' "How glad I am!" I said and kissed her hands. "I believe I have been on my way here the whole of my life and now I have reached home at last." She gave a motherly smile.
Eva makes her entrance quite literally alongside the painting of Abraxas Emil painted not long after he put a name to the face of the painting he made of her. He describes this as reaching home, incredibly important to him after he has been feeling so outcast from the home he grew up in. And he loves her deep voice, her quiet face that resembles her son's, and her friendly, motherly smile.
Eva and Abraxas, the god he worships and adores, are linked beings. This all builds on to the Demian and Cain, Eva and Eve connections. Eve the mother of both Cain the murderer and Abel the victim, Eve the woman born of God who spoke to the Devil and committed the first sin (which to bearer's of the Sign was surely not a sin), is now properly linked to Abraxas and it all feeds quite well into a similar theme. Eva is mother and she is home.
Eva is the origin of Demian, an embodiment of his ideals with even more maturity, she created the one who created Emil in a manner of speaking. She truly represents a world that is not divided into light and darkness, the very world that Emil chases after and wishes to believe in. It only makes sense, then, that he would find her so attractive and want her, desire her. By this point, so late into the novel, Emil is quite grown up, literally and spiritually, compared to the young, lost boy he was at the start. He has accepted sexual desires, accepted the world is complex and rejected many of the beliefs he held as a child, and he wants Eva the way any grown man might.
But, of course as we established earlier, Emil wants more than a passing encounter fueled by lust. He wants a real kind of love. And when he has gotten to know her and understand her as a real person rather than just a figure in his dreams, he writes the following, detailed, heavily romantic, filled with yearning and love passage:
On many occasions I believed that it was not really just her as a person, whom I yearned for with all my being, but that she existed as an outward symbol of my inner self and her sole purpose was to lead me more deeply into myself. Things she said often sounded like replies from my unconscious mind to burning questions which tormented me. There were other moments when as I sat beside her I was consumed with sensual desire and kissed objects which she had touched. And little by little sensual and transcendental love, reality and symbol mingled together. As I thought about her in my room at home in tranquil absorption, I felt her hand in mine and her lips touching my lips. Or I would be conscious of her presence, look into her face, speak with her and hear her voice, not knowing whether she was real or a dream. I began to realize how one can be possessed of a lasting and immortal love. I would gain knowledge of a new religion from my reading, and it would give me the same feeling as a kiss from Eva. She stroked my hair and smiled with all her warm affection, and I had the same feeling as when I took a step forward in knowledge of my inner self. Her person embraced everything that was significant and fateful for me. She could be transformed into each one of my thoughts and each of my thoughts could be transformed into her.
This paragraph here always sticks with me, the way his love transcends reality. It mirrors the way that Demian's existence is questionably real, that the moments he shared with the Demian family are somewhere fundamentally between imagined and real. Does she kiss him or is it imagined? It hardly matters, because reality and symbol are mixing together and becoming one and the same. These are his manifestations, these are his calls to the world to make his love true. And that love is so true in his heart he can hardly tell when it is real.
Also I just want to point out how cute he is when he's in love... kissing the things that belong to her, linking his learning and his growth as a person to her. It is similar to his behavior with Beatrice, in that this woman is helping inspire him to improve upon himself, but now it is not the desperate clutch to an unknown figure as a guiding light he can never speak to, it is a woman who pulls answers from his own mind, a woman who exists as a symbol of his inner self. Frau Eva, again just like Demian, is an extension of Emil's self and soul.
Alright, so I have now established Emil's feelings towards Frau Eva, but what of her feelings towards him? This following passage comes immediately after the one before
When I arrived back at H-- I stayed away from her for two days in order to savour this security and independence from her physical presence. I had dreams too in which my union with her was consummated in a symbolic act. She was a star and I was a star on my way to her, and we met and mutually attracted, remained together and circled round each other blissfully in all eternity to the accompaniment of the music of the spheres. I told her this dream on my first visit on returning. "It is a lovely dream," she said quietly, "Make it true!"
Emil tells her that he had a dream of the two of them in which they consummated their union (which, just to make this abundantly clear, means having sex. there is no getting around that fact) through a symbolic act of entwining around each other for all of eternity and Frau Eva tells him to make it true. She tells him, explicitly, that this dream he has of them making love is lovely and that he should work on making it happen in reality. This is of course a further extension of her trying to help Emil manifest a kind of mutual attraction between them through his extended longing and deep, honest desires. While she does not currently reciprocate the romantic affections he has for her, she is clear about being open to the idea of that one day being the case.
Let's also look at this bit, which is mostly about Sinclair's affections towards her but provides a bit of a conclusion to this theme of manifesting her love.
One day this foreboding came over me with such force that my love for Eva flared up suddenly and caused me great pain. My God, what a short time I had left; soon I should no longer be seeing her, no longer hearing her good, assured step about the house, no longer finding her flowers on my table! And what had I achieved? I had luxuriated in dreams and comfort instead of winning her, instead of struggling for her and clasping her to me forever! Everything she had told me about true love came back to me, a kindred stirring, admonitory messages, and as many gentle promises and words of encouragement, too, perhaps; and what had I made out of it all? Nothing. I stood in the middle of the room, summoned my whole conscious being and thought of Eva. I wanted to gather all the power of my soul in order to make her aware of my love and attract her to me. She must come; she must long for my embrace, my kisses must tremble on her ripe lips.
Emil is realizing that despite her encouragements and his continued love for her, he has never truly spent the energy required to make his love reciprocated. These things, him wanting her be his forever, him wanting to kiss her so much that he shakes, to attract her to him so that she desires him in the same way that he does her... those are the things Eva wanted him to manifest. Now, this also makes it clear that for as much time as they spent together (the book mentions that Max was out for long stretches of time, leaving Emil alone with Eva for the majority of his days there), they did not get to do any of the things he wanted so passionately AND that she had still be encouraging him to manifest this.
And does she get this message? Yes! She does, only there is The War starting and so she does not go herself to him, but she does tell him that she heard his appeal and to do it again if he should ever need her.
Now, let's talk about the ending of the book, about the kiss.
"And there is something else. Frau Eva said that if things ever went badly with you, I was to pass on a kiss from her which she gave me ⊠Close your eyes, Sinclair." I closed my eyes in obedience. I felt the brush of a kiss on my lips on which there was a bead of blood that never seemed to diminish. Then I fell asleep.
Demian (who is made clear to be a hallucination or a purely spiritual being at this moment, regardless of what you believe his regular appearances are that of a real actual boy or a reflection of Emil's self or a mixture of the two. in this scene he is a dream-like being existing from Emil's mind here to help conclude the narrative) passes on a kiss that his mother gave to him. Eva wanted to give this kiss to Emil after all of those appeals he made for her love, and uses Demian as a vessel to give this to him.
Now I am absolutely not here to deny any sort of queerness in this moment, in the fact that it is not Eva herself who appears but rather Max. What I am trying to say is that Eva and Max are linked people, especially in the mind of Emil, and therefore it makes thematic sense for the boy who had introduced him to the world of the enlightened and to the woman he would come to love to be here in this quiet, scary moment and pass on a message from his mother. I am trying to say that denying that this kiss is even the slightest bit from Eva and 100% Max's moment is ignoring her entire character and a large, large portion of Emil's.
I couldâve gone on for longer, I skipped over the story she tells Emil of the man in love with a star and how that star eventually came to love him in return and how Frau Eva is his star. His last description of her before leaving for the war is about the myriad of stars glowing in the night sky and it is quite romantic, but I feel getting into the star symbolism in Demian would double the length of this and her feelings towards him cannot get any clearer than the part where she encourages consummating their union, which itself is still linked to the star story. This was all done taking passages I remembered off the top of my head and not a full reread of the book, but I feel like this does more than enough to explain my point.
In conclusion: never tell me again that I misunderstood the 1919 novel Demian: The Story of Emil Sinclair's Youth by Hermann Hesse because I joked about how Emil is into MILFs. He is.
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mayprompts2024, #27 jealousy
Chapters 1 to 3Â here on AO3
If you like the tattoo AU give it some love on my AO3, please. It would mean a lot to me. TYSM!
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White Pony Tattoo - Part Seven (jealousy)
When both of them had calmed down from all the laughter, Sherlock clapped his hands on his thighs and leant forward in his chair.
âLetâs talk about your cover-up.â
âPlease, do.â John fixed all of his attention on Sherlock.
âFirst of all, whose idea was it to get a tattoo?â
âOh, that was me. I wanted something of her to last. Something to show how serious it was for me, our marriage. You know, til death do us part, kind of.â
Sherlock hummed but was clearly not impressed by this reason.
âAnd whose idea was it to put her face on a Virgin Mary image? She has not actually been a virgin when youâve met, right?â
âWell, no.â John blushed. âIt was her idea. Because, you know, her first name was Mary and she thought it was a great...â John trailed off, sighing then looking at Sherlock who thankfully kept his mouth shut but was slowly turning his head in an unmistakable ânoâ.
Defensively, John added, âIt wasnât, in hindsight, okay?â
âItâs never been right from the start.â
John rolled his eyes. âYou just needed to say it out loud, didnât you?â
âShe proposed that you tattoo her face on your arm to make a statement. A clear mark that youâve been taken, by her. She wanted that the other women and men,â Sherlock winked knowingly at John who merely snorted, âbecome jealous of her. Look at my prize! Itâs mine and mine alone! Possessive behaviour at its best.â
Again, in hindsight, that makes so much sense. John thought ruefully.
Sherlock continued, ignoring the distressed expression on Johnâs face.
âAt least, your tattooist has done quite a good job, technically. No blurring, no wonky lines, no blotchy shading. Good placement of the design, too. Matching the natural contours of your upper arm. Which makes a cover-up much easier.â
âGood. I really want to get rid of this.â
Sherlock stood up. âCome on, John. Iâll explain my process to you.â He opened the purple curtain, holding it open for John to pass through into the room behind.
It housed the actual tattoo studio. The first thing John noticed was that everything in this room was high-end.
The recliner seat for the clients, the worktable with Sherlockâs tools, shelves with bottles of ink, needles and at least five different tattoo guns. Everything was also clinically clean. One corner of the room was occupied by a tiny but professional photo studio, including spotlights and an expensive looking camera on a tripod. There was another worktable with a state-of-the-art computer setup.
âTake off your jumper and stand in front of the camera. This is a special camera with a 3D software. Itâll scan your arm and every line of the tattoo in high-res and send the data to an image generating software on my computer. This way, I can design the perfect phoenix for you, one that will match and cover or even use the lines you already have without any optical distortion.â
âWow, thatâs, Jesus, that is quite elaborate.â John gaped. âAll this for a cover-up?â
âNo, itâs what I do with all of my clients. Itâs the only way to achieve the perfection I desire.â
âBrilliant.â John looked at Sherlock, full of awe. âExtraordinary.â
Sherlock blinked. âReally?â
âOf course, all the effort you put into this!â
Sherlock ruffled his curls, obviously abashed. He turned his head to hide the pinkish blush that had started to spread on his sharp cheekbones and mumbled something unintelligible while he rummaged uselessly around in a drawer.
But John had already seen it.
For all of his aggressive seductive behaviour, could it be that he gets shy when someone genuinely praises and appreciates his process? John mused. A bit âall bark but no biteâ under this self-assured demeanour and abrasive personality? Iâd really like to to have a photo of this blushing Sherlock, itâs adorable.
The next ten minutes went by in silence, only interrupted when Sherlock told John how to turn and place his arm in front of the camera.
âHow long will it take until youâve got the final design?â
âAt least a week. The next days are packed with clients. Also, thereâs something else to my process, about creating the perfect ink which takes some time as well.â
John was struck by another question. One that John had not yet thought to ask which might possibly come across as pretty stupid now.
âErm, we havenât talked about what you charge for all of this.â Can I even afford this? Him?
âOh, silly me!â Sherlock exclaimed theatrically. âI forgot to mention that you have to sign a contract in blood and sell your soul.â
âDork!â John playfully punched Sherlock against the shoulder. âDonât pull my leg.â
âAh, donât look so frightened, John. You can afford my services. I charge my clients depending on their wealth, you know? I helped a disfigured young man for the price of a bottle of ink and I had a rich investment banker pay me 600 pounds an hour. Iâm not going to rob you blind.â
âTa.â Relief flooded John, then he remembered Sherlockâs last remark. âWhatâs that about the ink?â
âYes, right.â Sherlockâs voice got excited. âDo you want to see something really special? A secret?â
âOh, God, yes.â
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tagging some people @totallysilvergirl @peageetibbs @lisbeth-kk  @raina-at @calaisreno
#mayprompts2024#number 27 jealousy#my sherlock fanfics#white pony tattoo AU#no beta we die like (wo)men
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