#women every single month of their life when their period comes

[michyeosseo]

Mother, I can see right through you.

Yoon Hae Young as JANG SE-MI LADY DURIAN (2023) 1.16

[bwabys-scenarios]

I want you to eat well

Vampire!Kurapika x Fem!Reader

!!REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!

warnings: Kurapika eats you out while you’re on your period, rough sex, creampie, breeding

A/N: I posted this in my discord months ago, if you want more content come join!! Here’s the link

taglist: @desiray562 @lovelyxkazuha @ashdownunderscorebeloved

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Kurapika was attacked by humans and fled into the forest. He collapses near a cottage he thinks is abandoned, but it’s yours!

You walk out and just panic!! There’s a bleeding man by the treeline!!

You rush out, and all he can think is how easy it would be to pin you down and drain you dry. He assumes you’re there to finish the job, so prepares to strike… that is until he sees you crying.

“Oh my god, are you okay? I’m going to help you, just stay conscious, okay?”

He blinks. Do you see that he has red eyes? Fangs? That he’s cold to the touch and his blood is almost black? No, you don’t. You’re too busy half carrying, half dragging this man into your house.

He doesn’t think he’s ever been treated so gently before, not even when he was human. You sit him down, pushing back his hair to wash off his face with a rag before bandaging his(slowly healing) wounds. He can’t help but sigh dreamily when you tuck him into your bed, humming as you watch over him.

“What is your name, girl?”

You tilt your head. He’s the same age as you, you think, why is he calling you a girl. “Oh, I’m (Name).”

“(Name)? That’s beautiful.”

You can’t help your cheeks heating up, going about your task of preparing a meal. He’s very handsome, almost alluring.

Over the next few days, your guest doesn’t eat a single bite of food, and you notice he seems to be getting weaker. He still hasn’t given you his name, you’ve started calling him “dear”.

“Hello, dear. Are you feeling hungry today?”

He’s sitting up in bed, a bandage wrapped around his head. He gives you that pretty smile, his fangs glinting in the moonlight. “I’m sorry, (Name), but I cannot eat anything you make me.”

That’s what he says every time. You pout, sitting on the bed next to him. “Come on, there has to be something I can make you! I’m no stranger to cooking!”

He sighs. You’re sweet, awfully kind to a man that had planned to end your life before he got to know you. “No, what I need is something you cannot provide.”

You leave after changing his bandages, cooing softly. “Aww, you’re almost healed! You’ve been such a nice guest, I’ll miss you when you leave…”

The mentioning of him leaving makes him tense. This brief time with you has been some of the best of his life.

The next few days pass by, and you come in that morning with a grimace on your face. “Hello, dear. Sorry I’m late, I’m… unwell.”

“Unwell?”

Your guest seems worried, his hand lifting to cup your cheek. “What is it that ails you, (Name)?”

And before you can answer, a heavenly aroma fills the air.

Blood.

Kurapika feels his fangs dig into his lip as he holds himself back from pouncing on you.

“Well… um…” you seem flustered, and he finds it cute how you fidget with your pajama shirt, glancing up at him. “It’s my time of the month.”

Instead of looking disgusted or embarrassed he seems… intrigued.

He gestures for you to sit with with. “You mean… you’re currently bleeding?”

You’re embarrassed to be talking about this to basically a stranger, but you nod.

He hums, red eyes taking your form in hungrily. Kurapika was a virgin, a man that had lived far away from society since he was turned into a vampire at the age of 23. He hadn’t been around a woman in a long time, and he had to admit, he had been feeling some… urges.

He places a hand on your thigh, eyes half lidded as he stares at you. “You know, (Name), I do find you… quite gorgeous.”

Your face heats up, your legs rubbing against each other. He smirks, knowing women are more sensitive during their menstrual cycle.

“O-oh. That’s sweet of you to say.”

You pat his hand, giving him that pretty smile of yours. You get up to move, but his iron grip on your thigh keeps you still.

“This may sound a bit forward of me, but I have to ask. Have you ever lain with a man before?”

You stare at him slack jawed, face hot. “L-lain… do you mean sex?”

He nods, tilting his head. “Your answer?”

“N-no. I have not.”

He hums, eyes staring in between your legs so intensely you cross them.

“Would you like to?”

He’s having trouble controlling himself, the blanket falling down around him as he crawls towards you, those pretty red eyes staring into yours. It’s hard to look away, especially when he’s inching closer and closer to your lips.

“You’re cute, and such a sweet girl. Would you mind if I… tasted you?”

His cheeks are pink, eyes half lidded as he sniffs your neck, before leaning back and placing a kiss on your lips.

He’s gentle, lips cold against yours as he pins you with ease. You don’t complain, wrapping your arms around him as he shoves his tongue into your mouth.

“At least… at least tell me your name before this goes any further…”

You pout up at him, the man almost cooing with how cute you are.

“It’s Kurapika. I hope you’ll remember it, (Name).”

You nod. “Kurapika… that’s such a pretty name, I’ve never heard one like it before.”

He pulls your shirt over your head, eyes on your bare chest. “It’s a cultural name, one from a clan long forgotten.”

He kneads your breasts, marveling at the softness of them. “Soft, and so warm…”

You hiss slightly as his cold hands slip down your body, until they’re pulling down your pajama pants. “H-hey! Wait! I’m-“

“I know, (Name). You being on your menstrual cycle is the exact reason I want this.”

He pulls off your pants and panties in one go, cooing at the sight in front of him.

“How delicious.”

You squeeze your legs shut, eyes gone wide. “D-delicious? How could this b…”

He glances up at you with those red eyes, resting his chin against your knee. “You know, I find your innocence rather adorable, but I’ll clue you in, angel.”

He extends his fangs, a little confused when instead of reacting with fear, you react with acceptance. “Ahhh, okay, that makes sense.”

He doesn’t question your strange statement, now prying open your legs with ease.

“Now that you know, will you let me feed? This could really help me feel better, (Name).”

He kisses your thigh, his red eyes boring into yours. You pout a little, but cup his cheek. He leans into your touch, surprised at his own actions. “I guess… if it’ll help you feel better…”

You don’t need to say another word, he’s already burying his face between your legs.

At first he devours any blood he can get his tongue on. When he runs out, he realizes he’ll need to really put in the effort to make you secrete more.

He glances up to watch for your reaction when he swirls his tongue around your clit, earning a gasp. Kurapika blinks when your hands bury themselves in his hair, pulling him in the right direction. “K-Kurapika!”

He purrs against you, pumping a finger in and out of your bloody cunt as he sucks on your clit. “Like that, angel?”

He’s almost embarrassed at how hard he’s gotten from hearing your moans and feeling your fingers tug at his hair. “Yes! More please!”

And he gives you more, inserting another finger. “You’re delicious, (Name). If I knew a woman’s menstrual blood tasted this good, I would have done this much sooner…”

You whimper, pouting down at him. “W-well I’m glad it’s with me first…”

“Oh, (Name)…”

He pulls his fingers from your cunt, licking them clean. “I intend for you to be the only woman I ever feed from like this.”

This makes both your pussy and heart thump. “Really? Hahh!”

You don’t have much time to think, his tongue is already inside of you again. Now he’s tongue fucking you as he rubs circles into your clit.

“Those pretty little sounds of yours have my body reacting in such embarrassing ways, (Name)…”

He looks up at you again, blood dripping down his chin. “Would it be alright if I took your virginity, (Name)? I’m a creature of the night, would you lay with me, knowing that?”

You nod, running your fingers through his hair. “Yes… you may be a vampire, b-but I-“

You gasp, feeling his tongue wiggle inside of you. “I know you’re a- hnn… a good man!”

He almost feels his undead heart thump against his chest. You’re making him swoon, and it’s not just your sweet blood he’s craving.

He has you cumming on his tongue, surprised on how much he enjoys the taste of your cum mixed with blood.

He wipes the blood from his chin, crawling on top of you. “My sweet girl, so warm…”

You feel his cock prod against you, your hips bucking against him. “P-put it in please! Need you!”

You’re so needy, tears beading at the corners of your eyes as he coos. “Shhh, shh, you’ll have what you want soon. You’ve been such a good girl, allowing me to feed to my hearts content. I’ll take care of you, alright?”

You nod, the blonde satisfied with your obedience. He prods his cock against your cunt, delighting in the fact that your blood makes it easier for him to slide in.

You gasp when he bottoms out, legs wrapping around his waist. He stays like that for just a moment before pulling all the way out and slamming back in.

He takes you like an animal, pounding into your pussy until you see stars. He tries so hard to be gentle, but his head has gone fuzzy with pleasure.

You don’t seem to mind though, you pull him into a kiss, causing him to come back to reality and melt into your embrace, his hips smacking against yours.

He glances down, dipping a finger to your cunt, lapping up the blood that collected on his finger.

“So so pretty, angel. So pretty when I fuck into you like this…”

His fangs brush against your neck, but he doesn’t bite you. No no no, he won’t do that. Not to his now mate. No, he’ll only drink from your pussy, a taste he would soon become addicted to.

When he cums inside you, he doesn’t pull out for a while. He’s not sure if he’s still able to produce children, but if he can, he wishes to get you pregnant, and soon. Though, he’ll be upset when his favorite snack isn’t available for nine months.

Kurapika pulls you into his arms, keeping you plugged up with his cock. “Tonight, I will take you again and again, so rest for now, my love.”

He plants kisses on your neck, before resting his chin on your head.

He’s so sweet, waking up and cooking you a healthy, iron rich meal. It’s not JUST because he wants you to produce as much blood for him as possible. No, Kurapika has fallen in love, and he’s not letting you go anytime soon.

You’re his now, his mate, his lover, his.

“Kurapika…”

You stumble into the kitchen, body weak and tired from his rough thrusting. He rushes over to settle you down into a chair, cupping your cheek. “What is it my love? Was I too rough? Are you hurt?”

You shake your head. “No, no I’m just really hungry, that smells amazing!”

He sighs. “I’m glad you are alright. I may not be able to eat human food, but cooking is something I am efficient with.”

He sets an omelette in front of you, paired with rice. “It’s a spinach omelette. Enjoy, angel.”

He watches you eat from across the table, absolutely smitten.

He follows you around throughout the day, watching as you do various chores. Now that he’s… fed from you, he has more energy to help, though he can’t go outside due to the sun.

“My love, is it strange that I am excited for night to come? I must admit I am desperate for another taste of you…”

He has you sat in his lap, nose brushing against your neck. He seems to enjoy your scent, constantly shoving his nose into your neck.

“No, it’s okay, I want you to eat well. I care about you.”

His leg bounces, his excitement evident. “Truly? It is not wrong for me to feel this way? To want you in this way?”

He doesn’t seem to have noticed that he’s bouncing you on his leg, causing your face to heat up.

He nuzzles into your neck again placing sweet kisses. “I love you, I apologize for not saying it sooner, but I feared your rejection. You’re a beautiful woman, and I feel I may now need you.”

You can barely hear him, breasts bouncing slightly at the intensity of his movements. “Hhhnn, Kurapika.”

He sniffs the air, tilting his head. “You’re aroused? Why?”

He glances down to see his leg is between your legs, knee pressing against your pussy as he bounces you up and down. “Oh.”

He grins against your neck, the feeling of his fangs brushing against your skin making you mewl. “Oh? Is my angel too needy to wait for tonight?”

Kurapika’s head stays between your legs for the next few hours, being thoroughly fed by his precious mate!

[dancingtotuyo]

9. the fear of what's to come

Woman | Joel Miller x Female Reader

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Chapter Summary: You and Joel navigate life changing news.

Tags: Joel Miller X Female Reader. Age Gap (13/14 years). HBO Characters. Mostly cannon compliant for show & game. Timeline is changed.

Chapter Warnings: pregnancy, pregnancy symptoms, mentions of potential pregnancy complications including but not limited to miscarriage and stillbirth, single reference to a fetus being a child (not intended in a pro life way), angst, grief, complicated feelings surrounding pregnancy.

Notes: A huge thanks to my amazing beta readers and friends @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin & @janaispunk

If you have not checked out Before, I would encourage you to do so for more backstory on our dear reader!

Words: 3088

Series Masterlist | Author Masterlist | Playlist

You know three weeks after your missed period what is happening. It’s not hard to figure out. It’s just like last time. Menopause crosses your mind briefly, but the symptoms don’t line up. You’re sensitive to the same foods, nausea rolls in and out like the ocean tides throughout the day. The insatiable craving for a tomato sandwich cements it two days later. Tears run down your cheeks as you quickly finish off the sandwich and prepare another. 

You don’t get excited. You don’t make plans, and most importantly, you don’t tell Joel. You’re 45. Joel is in his late 50s. You know the statistics, the pre-end-of-the-world ones. You can’t imagine they’ve improved. 

Instead, you just hope that when it happens, nothing goes wrong. There’s no DNC, no pills to make sure everything passes properly or ensure no infection sets in. You’ve aided many women through this, many much younger than yourself. Some make it just fine, others have complications with nothing but prayer, poultices, and 20-year-old antibiotics to help. You’re not sure what actually does it when the women make it through. Some of them you've buried. Their faces flicker through your mind. You cannot be one of them. You cannot leave Carter without either of his parents in this world.  

You tell Maria. You tell her everything she needs to know. What to do step by step when it happens. Since Adam’s injury, Dr. Pooley refuses to practice anything more than simple first aid. You’re both certain it’s dementia. You spend most mornings listening to him talk through different lectures he attended. On the mornings his brain won’t cooperate, you sip tea together. He’s writing down what he remembers, but you have to fact-check it. He’s already taught you most of it anyway. 

“You have to tell Joel,” Maria says when you tell her. 

You refuse. You won’t do it. You won’t bring him into this. You have this silent agreement that you’re partners in this world, but he still lives in the house across the street with Ellie. There’s never been discussions about moving in together or anything past that. You don’t call him your boyfriend. He doesn’t call you his girlfriend. Making those commitments, those plans, it will hurt too much when the world takes him away. 

Carter calls him “Daddy.” It makes Joel smile every time. He’s accepted that commitment. It makes you smile too, but there’s still a little ache in your heart each time. Carter knows about Gabe. You tell him stories all the time. If you ask him, he says he has two daddies. One here and one in heaven. 

But you won’t tell Joel about this child. He’s lost one. He doesn’t need to lose another. 

Maria fights you on it. She looks at her son pointing out that she was 2 years older than you are now when he was born healthy. You don’t remind her she almost died, but she sees it in your eyes. You still have nightmares about that night.

You’re firm. You’re not going to tell Joel. Neither will she, and she damn sure won’t tell Tommy either. 

You wait for the cramps and the blood, but they never come. You hit the 3-month mark, your 2nd trimester at the beginning of October. You don’t cry in the bathroom. You square your shoulders. Second-trimester miscarriages happen. Stillbirths happen, but hope gathers in the depths of your soul, growing with each day. You push it away with logic and reasoning. 

Two sides of you war against each other. You can’t bring another life into this world. At one point you were okay with it. You felt safe here, and while you still do, it doesn’t feel okay anymore. The world still digs its ugly claws into this community. Yet, the hopes you used to hold in your mind, the ones you had with Gabe, and the ones you had before the outbreak still linger. In a perfect, uncomplicated world, this is what you would choose. 

You hide the sickness from Joel with relative ease. He’s often awake and out of bed before you for patrol shifts, early morning chores, or waking up with Carter so you can sleep in.

You deliver the Crosby twins a week later without complications. Melissa is only a couple of years younger than you, but at your age, you know how crucial those few years are. When you finally reach your front porch, you sit in the darkness of Wyoming and finally let the tears fall because fate seems to be telling you that this is happening, or just sending you another person to lose. The realization hits you like a freight train. Time is up. You have to tell Joel. 

You crack open the door to Carter’s bedroom. He’s sound asleep and it relieves you to know he's here. You’re less on edge when he’s close, and It means Joel picked him up from Maria and Tommy’s. It means Joel is in your bed.

Sure enough, he’s there when you creep in. He sleeps on his side curled up over your pillow. You roll your eyes. Yes, it's endearing, but it’s also a pain in the ass to get your pillow back.

The bathroom light is blinding at first, but your eyes slowly adjust as you turn on the shower and steam fills the space. Goosebumps spread across your skin as you undress, catching sight of yourself in the mirror. You’ve noticed the subtle changes in your body over these past couple of months, but they’re becoming more noticeable. Your breasts have grown, they’re so sensitive, and your sports bra pulls at the seams. Joel commented on it last week. You joked you were packing on extra weight for winter acting like it was nothing. 

Your favorite pair of jeans no longer fit. You’ve mostly stuck to leggings since. You’re starting to clock the subtle changes in your body. They’re happening faster than with your last pregnancy. The past week, you’ve shut Joel down sexually, scared he would catch on despite your sex drive skyrocketing. It’s been difficult. 

The shower washes away everything: the sweat and grime of the day, your tears, the tension in your muscles. You stand under the water until it runs cold, slipping on Joel’s worn soft t-shirt.

Your pillow is back on your side of the bed, Joel still on his side. A smile creeps onto your face. He keeps his eyes closed, but you know he’s awake. You don’t say anything as you slide into bed, but your anxiety spikes, your heart fluttering in your chest. You have to tell him. 

You’re staring at the ceiling when he breaks the silence. “What happened?” 

You suck in a breath. He thinks something went wrong tonight. He’s probably preparing to dig a grave. “Nothing, mom and babies are fine.”

“So it was twins?” 

“Yeah.” You had suspected as much, but the ultrasound machine doesn’t work, try as you might to get it operational. You hadn’t been able to find a second heartbeat with the Doppler. 

“So what’s buggin you?” His drawl is deeper, soaked with sleep. 

He scoots a little closer, hot breath tickling your ear. You can’t move. You should look him in the eye when you tell him, but you can’t. The words are at the back of your throat surging forward toward your lips. The anxiety in your chest feels like a herd of buffalo stomping across the countryside. You squeeze your eyes shut to try and stop it.

“Sweetheart?” His hand reaches toward you, eyes trained on your profile as concern laces his brow. 

“I’m pregnant.” 

His hand stops over your arm. You feel its warmth so close, and then it goes away. You dare to look at him. You expect him to get out of bed and bolt. You don’t know why. He’s only shown you otherwise the entirety of your relationship, but this is more than either of you signed up for. Instead, you watch as it sinks in. He connects the dots, all the symptoms and signs that were right in front of his face, his subconscious absorbing them, but refusing to put it all together. 

“I’m sorry,” you say.

You look back toward the ceiling, tears slipping from your eyes. 

His hand covers your abdomen, forehead pressing against your temple. He starts to feel the changes to your body for what they are. You shudder. 

“How long have you known?”

There’s not a trace of judgment or fear in his voice, but it does little to assure you. You’re scared. It doesn’t matter what Joel says or does, the fear is overwhelming. 

“Beginning of August.”

“Shit, baby.” He pulls you into him, cradling your head against his chest. “You didn’t have to carry this alone.”

“I didn’t think it would last.” After months of holding the tears back, you finally let them out, a mix of relief and fear. “I didn’t- I didn’t want you to-” 

You can’t finish it. You can’t say it out loud, but Joel knows what you’re trying to say. You didn’t want him to lose another child, and it wrecks him. His grip on you is crushing, but it soothes your shaking frame. Just as you come down, his sobs greet your ear because he’s scared too. Every single fear and anxiety that has come over you the past months, he feels too. Maria’s labor and delivery flash through his mind. If that happens to you, who’s going to save you? 

You reach up to cradle his face. He presses into your neck. Your skin is sticky and salty again, but you don’t even think about it as the man you love and can’t tell cries in your arms. You’re unable to return his soothing squeeze, but you lay there to provide any comfort you can. The two of you fall asleep tangled in each other. 

You feel Joel’s fingers dancing across your abdomen before you’re fully conscious. There’s no rhyme or reason to his movements. His other hand brushes over your temple and through your hair. Every once in a while you feel his breath and lips across your neck, up and down your arm, over your collarbone. It feels like he’s memorizing you, fear present in all of his movements even now. 

You finally open your eyes. His movements still as you look at him. There are tears in his eyes as his head falls forward, resting against yours. “I’m scared.”

“Me too.” You reach out, nails raking across his arm. 

He shudders under your touch. “I wish you told me sooner.” 

You bit your lips. “I’m sorry.” 

He lets out a deep sigh, kissing your forehead. His hand drifts to your abdomen again. You watch his eyes, so expressive filled with fear and anxiety and maybe a little bit of awe and guilt?

“I should’ve been more careful.”

You press your head to his, inhaling softly. “We.”

Joel’s fingers scrape along your jaw, his beard rough against your chin. “I like being a we.”

“Me too.”

Silence settles between the two of you. The wind knocks against the window, but it’s warm next to Joel. His arm snakes around you, tugging you closer to him. 

“I suppose you’ve told Maria?”

You can’t hide the guilty smile on your lips. “If it makes a difference, she told me I needed to tell you right away. Pretty sure she was gonna tell you herself if I didn’t do it soon.” You mess with the collar of his shirt. 

“How long do we have?”

“Figure it’ll be May. If we get that far.” You say. Joel nods and something clenches around your heart, a need to protect him, warn him of the danger. “You know there’s a lot of risks. No guarantee…” 

“One day at a time.” He kisses your cheek but you see all the fear he’s pushing away plastered to his face like a movie poster. 

Joel asks you how you are, but other than that, you don’t talk about it. You feel like a weight has lifted off your shoulders but there’s an anvil hanging above your head, waiting to drop at a moment’s notice. 

You’ve outgrown your last pair of jeans. When you manage to trade with someone, they give you a look, like they know what’s going on inside your body. 

You take more naps, sometimes at the clinic, sometimes on the couch. You’re constantly tired. Maria brings dinner to the house every few days. She never asked, but you don’t complain. 

One evening you open your eyes to find Ellie staring down at you, worry etched in her features. It startles you at first. 

“You’ve been sleeping a lot lately,” She says. 

“You’ve noticed?” You pull yourself into a seated position. It feels like someone shoved a bunch of cotton into your mouth. You reach for the now room-temperature water on your end table. 

“You only take naps when you’re sick or depressed.” You raise an eyebrow at her. She crosses her arms as if to say she knows you’re neither right now. “What’s going on?”

You finish off the water. Despite its temperature, it helps. “I’m fine.” You reach out, placing a hand on her shoulder, but it does nothing. At 17 years old, Ellie is turning into a woman before your very eyes. At times, you’re convinced any semblance of childhood has been replaced with adulthood, but there are other times you still see the slivers of the girl you met two and a half years ago. Right now, she’s the one sitting in front of you.  

“Bullshit. What’s going on? You and Joel have been acting weird.”

Had things really been that different in the past couple of weeks? You open your mouth to speak, unsure of what to say. You and Joel hadn’t talked about telling anyone, which seemed silly. You can’t hide this forever. 

The door opens and Carter bursts in with Joel on his heels. A smile instantly finds your lips. 

“Mommy! Look!” He holds up a package of seemingly new Crayola crayons. 

Your eyes widen with exaggeration. “Wow, buddy. That’s awesome.”

“John Lacy found a bunch of them on patrol. They handed them out today,” Joel smiles. “Grabbed you some colored pencils.” He hands a set of non-crayola pencils to Ellie.

“Thanks.” She smiles but is still distracted by her worry over you. 

Carter crawls up beside you, eagerly pulling out the surprisingly intact crayons one by one. Joel leans over to kiss your cheek and tousles Ellie’s hair. She makes a face of displeasure but doesn’t fight him on it.

“You two look like you were talkin about somethin serious.”

“I was trying to figure out why the two of you have been acting weird,” Ellie says. 

Joel’s drops to unreadable. He looks at you and you shrug in response. “We have to tell them eventually.”

Worry makes its home on Ellie’s face. “So something is wrong with you.with you.”

“Nothing is wrong with me.” You sigh deeply. You run your fingers over Carter’s head, kissing it. 

“You’re sure acting like there is,” She says impatiently.

“Ellie,” Joel reprimands, traces of his asshole voice laced into it. 

Ellie bites her lip. It looks like she might be fighting off tears as she looks directly at you. “I’m worried about you.”

You force a smile, leaning forward. Your forearms rest on your knees. One would think it would get easier to say each time. Instead, it’s like picking at a scab that’s not healed. You’re forcing yourself to say something, your brain isn’t ready to accept. “I’m pregnant.”

Ellie sits up straighter, her eyes widen with shock. “Oh wow…”

You wonder if the pictures fill her mind too. She saw Maria the night Elias was born. She saw the blood that covered you. Joel’s fingers brush over your shoulder, squeezing it lightly before they run over the back of your neck. You lean against him. “I’m sorry we worried you. We’re still getting used to the idea,” You say. 

She nods and then her arms around your neck. She basically knocks you backward with the force of it. “I’m glad you’re not dying.”

You squeeze her tightly, a faint lilt of humor in your voice. “Me too.”

Then her voice drops to a whisper right at your ear. “You’ll be okay. I know you will.”  

Your head rests on Joel’s bare chest that night. The full moon sends light drifting through your window, casting the room in a cool glow. You play absentmindedly with the hair on his chest. His heart beats under your ear. The room is otherwise silent. 

“I told Tommy today.” 

You nod. 

“He wanted to know why I was so quiet. Told him I was always quiet.”

That pulls a smile across your lips. “Surprised he shut up long enough to notice.”

Joel chuckles. His arm around you tightens. His lips find your forehead. “I know we’re not ready to think too much about it.”

“Don’t think it’s something we can really ignore.” You nuzzle further into him. 

“Baby steps.” He kisses your nose this time.

You quirk an eyebrow. “Baby steps? Really?” You flip onto your stomach while you still can.

He chuckles. “Poor word choice.”

You kiss his bicep and then his shoulder. He looks at you like your entire world and your stomach erupts in butterflies and twists in knots all at the same time. You still won’t let him say it, but you feel it every time he looks at you like that. 

You rest your chin on his shoulder. “What are these steps you had in mind?”

His thumb traces over your jaw and cheek. “Don’t bolt on me, okay?”

“I think it’s a little late for that.”

He chuckles and then inhales deeply. “I think we should probably share a house. I figured you’d prefer to stay here, but it’s up to you.” He searches your eyes for any signs of panic or signs that you might shut down but finds nothing. In fact, you’re so calm that it’s hard to read. 

“It would be nice to have you officially living here,” you say. It feels right to say, to think about. “And Ellie if she wants.” 

“That was easier than I’d thought it would be.”

“You pretty much live here as is.” You turn on your side, nuzzling back into him. “I’ll miss your fireplace though.”

Joel smiles. “Guess I'll just have to keep you warm instead.” 

[thee-horny-thicky]

SingleFather!Nanami Headcanons

During a bout of insomnia, the idea of SingleFather!Nanami came to me. Out of all the JJK men, he'll be the best parent, and you can't change my mind.

TW: Platonic Nanami/Reader. Fem!Child Reader. Mentions of death. Mentions of sexual harassment. Angst. Canon Compliant. Approx 1K words.

Thinking about SingleFather!Nanami who after Haibara died, drowned himself in women to try to ease the pain. After all, Gojo and Geto always said how good sex felt, and he needed a pick me up. 

SingleFather!Nanami panics when his sneaky link tells him her period’s late. He rushed over to her place, pregnancy tests in hand. 

SingleFather!Nanami paces outside of the bathroom as she takes the tests, whose world comes to a halt when every single one is positive. He nearly had a panic attack when his FWB was adamant about not getting an abortion, and when changing her mind didn't work, he stormed out. 

SingleFather!Nanami ghosted his FWB for a week, until his consciousness got the better of him, and he called her up. 

SingleFather!Nanami swears to be present in the child's life and tries to attend every appointment. 

SingleFather!Nanami who pulls away from the world of Jujutsu, already decides his child's life is more important than a thankless duty.

SingleFather!Nanami only found out his FWB had a heart condition when it was too late, going into shock when he found out she died during the delivery. He doesn't see his baby for two days, too busy mourning the woman he'd formed a bond with. 

SingleFather!Nanami who first meets his daughter when he has to name you. When he holds you, your tiny hand clings to his fingers, melting his heart and making him swear to himself that he’d play both roles. 

SingleFather!Nanami who is a worry wort over you. He reads parenting book after parenting book, frets every time something is slightly wrong with you, and has more sleepless nights monitoring his baby girl than due to you screaming your little head off. 

SingleFather!Nanami who doesn't leave your side for the first six months, living off savings he stored away when he was a sorcerer. 

SingleFather!Nanami cried for nearly an hour when you said, “Dada,” as your first word. 

SingleFather!Nanami rues to leave your side when money dwindles, forcing him to work again. He takes as many jobs as possible to support you, whilst also going to college and caring for a baby. It's stressful, but he does it to give you a good life. 

SingleFather!Nanami nearly tripped over himself to get his camera when you take your first steps. 

SingleFather!Nanami fights back tears when he drops his daughter off during your first day of school. He's so emotional, you have to comfort him. 

SingleFather!Nanami can't help but narrow his eyes at the little boy who kissed his baby girl's cheek when he picked you up. You’re too young for boys, after all! 

SingleFather!Nanami helps with every assignment, signs you up for whatever club you want, and attends every recital, play, etc. Rather your performance is good or bad, they will be recorded, he will fawn over you, and he will give you pointers if you feel the need to improve.

SingleFather!Nanami catches the attention of many of the mothers, much to the dismay of their husbands. When he starts to get a little lonely, he starts to entertain a few of the single mothers.

SingleFather!Nanami swears off sex and dating after a girlfriend hits you. It took great restraint for him not to return the favor.

SingleFather!Nanami often thinks about when his daughter was small and gets a little teary-eyed. 

SingleFather!Nanami who can't help but feel dread when you start puberty earlier than expected. After getting over his initial panic, he starts prepping for your first period and takes it upon himself to buy you book after book about puberty. 

SingleFather!Nanami whose interest in Malaysia is piqued when you start gushing about the country's nature, especially the Sarawak Chamber and Taman Negara. He makes it a life goal to take you to Malaysia one day. 

 SingleFather!Nanami returns to sorcery when you confide in him that you see strange things. Still, he tries to keep you hidden from the higher-ups and Gojo, not wanting the sordid world of Jujutsu sorcery to reach you. 

SingleFather!Nanami reluctantly introduces you to Gojo when the man's stalking reveals your existence. He can't help but feel jealous when he sees how much you take to Gojo. He glared at the strongest when he insisted you call him Uncle, after promising to teach you cool things your father couldn’t. 

SingleFather!Nanami almost catches a felony when a group of teenage boys catcalls you. You may look older than most girls your age, but that doesn’t give them the right to harass you. After dealing with those lowlifes, he comforts you and starts teaching you self-defense.

SingleFather!Nanami gladly signs you up for martial arts classes and attends every tournament and competition. When Gojo finds out, he insists on tagging along, and cheers even louder than the blond.

SingleFather!Nanami wanted to take you trick-or-treating as he does every year. Instead, he’s forced to report to Shibuya, and can’t help but feel envy when you go with some friends instead. He swears he’ll bring you back buckets of candy to make it up.

SingleFather!Nanami fights his hardest to return back to you, but still can't escape Jogo's flames. 

SingleFather!Nanami can’t help but shed some tears when Mahito gets the best of him, knowing he’d never be able to see you again.

SingleFather!Nanami confides in Yuuji that he has a daughter, sharing your name with him. His dying request is that the boy be there for his baby girl. The relief he feels when his student agrees is indescribable.

Somehow, SingleFather!Nanami still dies with a smile on his face, knowing that even though you lost a father, your new big brother would do everything possible to protect you.

[boiledbirdy]

BRAD FUCKIN WAYNEEE

headcannons i have abt this sweet himbo fratboy

This man is the largest in the family, like 6’6 and built like a non-green hulk. He can easily pick up and fireman carry Bruce and Jason

Is the guy in a frat party to sit with girls and hear about them bitch about periods and now carries a little pack with him everywhere that has a few tampons, pads, hand-warmers (for on the go heating pads), and Tylenol and Advil

Where does he keep this stuff and the random assortment of weird things he has, you ask? He wears a fanny-pack

read it and weep y’all he wears fanny-packs, usually the cool way over his shoulder, but mostly around his waist since he carries a backpack almost 25/8

He drives a beater truck (just an old car whose been through like three accidents and is still going strong) specifically a 1991 dodge D250 truck with a scratched up white paint job where there are dents, scratches, and a few patches of off white paint on dents that was sorta DIY-ed

his keys 🔑 have a weird ass mesh of keychains on it like: Ally flag keychain and a flag keychain for every single label a person has come out to him with, also a keychain from every museum, tourist spot he’s ever been, also a beer and bottle opener he’s a frat boy duhhh, he has a little bracelet that is made of sparkles and purple beads that steph gave to him but it was too small so he put it on his keys, a collage logo keychain, a keychain from his local gym and one with rugby on it etc

the keychains and keys are never ending

HE PLAYS RUGBY, argue with the wall.

getting a bachelors and masters in sports medicine

he makes sure to give Duke, Damian, Cass, Steph, and Tim copies of his keys first (the rest of the fam too they just get priority)

A) because they are the kids, and he wants them to know that he has an open bed any time

B) cause he’s the sibling to not get mad if they are intoxicated in any form and will cover for them

This next one is so important to me

He takes Tim to his first midnight showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, same with Damian

He pretty much eats at the Wayne mansion every night but sleeps at his apartment

Shows Damian some good rock’n roll ex Red Hot Chili Peppers, Sublime, Ramones, The Clash, Oingo Boingo, Ghost, Blonde, Foo-Fighters (i can make a playlist if wanted)

Just will sit and have a beer with Jason and sit in silence or talk about weird things that happened today

Steph and him have study sessions together

He will watch any ballet practice Cass wants him to see and he never misses a competition or performance

he sends Tim stupid skateboard tricks and fails videos (tiktok or insta reels) daily and then once a month they take Brad’s truck to a park and Brad sits on a ramp and cheers Tim on like its the Super Bowl

Watches Dick’s dog when he’s away from home and they both watch Barbie movies together

He gardens at Alfred’s request, yes he sucks but this man cannot not say no to the tidbits of Alfred’s life story he learns

Can kick back like 4 kegs of beer with no fucking consequences, he has a liver of steel thanks to Brucie Wayne

He’a the high guy in the bathtub at frat-parties and will give shitty or good life advice its 50/50 honestly

Does stupid white people fraternity things that would kill a normal person but he just is quirkily busting it down and Death just cannot vibe with him

makes (and i cannot stress this enough) the best and i mean best, (Alfred and Ma Kent can’t win in this one) brownies. Whether they are edibles or not they are the best.

has done the Tide-Pod challenge and survived

He is the Frat God of Gotham

Him and Duke are like the best duo

They blast Rock and Rap so that all five cars in every direction can hear it

Duke has the habit of putting weird ass bumper stickers on Brad’s desk and bed frame (at his apartment, they Do Not fuck with Alfred) Brad smiles fondly every time he finds a new one

Brad = Mark, ya know the tiktok sound

Him and Harper simp over women 🙏 together

In his fanny-pack, truck, and various rooms he has stim toys/do-hickeys bins or sections

bc he has Nerodivergent siblings and he was just trying

he asked kinda rude blunt questions, he didn’t know anything and he kinda (really) sucks at subtlety and reading a room but he was just trying to understand

He will take Damian to amusement parks and zoos pretty much bi-weekly

The girls can put on a horrible outfit and makeup and he will think he looks fabulous and no one will ever tell him that he’s sporting fashion and makeup crimes

has a small hidden bookcase of Wings of Fire, Warrior cats, Land of Stories, etc.. cause Damian is embarrassed to admit he actually likes reading them

Watches the trashiest brain rotting tv shows like Dance moms or keeping up with the Kardashians

Goes to any march or parade his siblings or friends are going to so: A) he can be that decked out ally tank of a man passing out water bottles and granola bars B) so if the police are back on their BS he can protecc atacc and throw that tear gas bacc

*Sniff 🤧* I have something I need all of you to know, I say this with a heavy heart *holding back tears 😥* Brad is a former highlighter kid— *single tear falls*

This fucking himbo stud-muffin has slept with, kissed, crushed on, and went on dates with men, but still doesn’t realize that he’s Bisexual

his favorite flavor ice cream is pistachio and carmel

KNOWS NOTHING and i mean nothing about zodiac signs

Has been caught in the middle of Gotham Rouge and does not understand what the fuck is happening

He either Teddy Bear fratboy golden retriever energies them to friendship or friendly acquaintance or annoys them to the high hells of mosquito bites on your butt

^I can expand if wanted

His phone you ask?

Screen cracked like rice crispys

apps more disorganized than the random shit drawer in someone’s house

he has a model 6S and will not upgrade or replace it to save his life.

he has an otterbox case and we all know it, no more denial

Okay thats my time yall see ya

[crueltyserpent]

When she introduces us, she’s either my girlfriend or my mom. She’s neither of course, she killed my mom and my girlfriend so long ago at this point. Sometimes I think she chooses whichever she thinks will make me more uncomfortable; it’s not like whoever she introduces us to will live long enough for their thoughts on it to matter. If I were to choose a name for what I am, I would probably go with captive. Victim also comes to mind, but it’s hard to feel like I’m the most victimized person in the room when she’s cutting off the fingers of a naked woman one by one.  At least she’s not making me eat them this time. The “here comes the airplane” bit with raw human flesh isn’t nearly as funny as she thinks it is.

If I guess why she keeps me around, why I’m not dead in a ditch somewhere like every other poor bitch who get’s her attention, I’d guess it’s because simply torturing attractive women to death every other day doesn’t fully sate her appetite for cruelty. Sure, her ability to wring physical pain out of a stranger is staggering, but there’s a special type of satisfaction she gets from the form of psychological torture that is only possible to inflict on someone she keeps close for an extended period of time. I don’t know if she chose me because something about me was uniquely appealing to hurt or she just liked how my dick felt inside her, but at this point I’m fairly confident she’s sunk too much work into messing with my head to casually replace me.

The woman bleeding out on the floor is the owner of the Air BNB we’re staying at, a chipper blonde thirtysomething who was now karmically paying for the fact that nothing in her life had ever gone wrong before. I used to vomit seeing a girl taken apart like this. Now it’s boring enough that I can sit on the bed reading a romance novel while barley acknowledging the poor cunt’s slowly decreasing number of body parts. This is an easy one, relatively speaking. I don’t really have enough emotional energy left to feel bad for well to do women a decade older than me who’d never give me so much as a smile if I weren’t a customer.

I call myself a captive, but it’s not like I couldn’t walk out of the room if I wanted to, physically speaking. She wouldn’t stop me, she’d continue her ruthless execution and not even remark on me leaving. I was never bound (except for sex), never locked in a room, always free to go where I wanted. It had just been incredibly clear to me that if I ever made an attempt to do something she disapproved of, she could make my life so much worse than it already was as her unwilling partner in crime. One time she had left me alone for three months, letting me think I was free, only to return and kill every single person I had met and liked to any degree. I was trapped with her because she had created a situation where helping her murder people every few days was the decision I could make with the lowest innocent body count. And it meant that sometimes women like this died instead of the cute queer girls my age who used to blow me in alleys. Seeing someone I might have been friends with in a different life die was a whole different story to something like this.

I turn the page, working my way through a particularly arbitrary love triangle as I hear the death rattle. I don’t remark on it, but I’m not at all surprised when my bloodstained captor sits at the foot of the bed, looking at me with those hungry eyes. Don’t get me wrong, this woman is evil, the worst person I could even imagine who I would do anything to be free of.

She’s also probably the hottest person I’ve ever met. She was the first woman ever to be hot enough to make me cheat on my girlfriend, in what was either the greatest mistake of my life or the sole decision that kept me alive, depending on what would have happened if I turned her down. Her nude body sprayed with fresh blood is a powerful sight, and her toothed smile makes me shiver as blood rushes between my legs.

“Anything spicy happening in your book, honey?” She asked in a soft, motherly tone, her hands moving to undo my belt buckle. I hate how much her sexy mom routine works on me. It’s humiliatingly effective. I should be anywhere else right now, doing anything else, doing anyone else, but as she rides me, her other victims blood dripping off her chest over my face, I can’t do anything but whimper in enjoyment.

[aheathen-conceivably]

Hello Darlings 🌻

So I received a Nonny message asking for clarification regarding Zelda’s situation in yesterday’s post. While I am always glad to answer Nonny messages, please keep in mind that I do not have the ability to answer those asks privately as I would if you sent them off anon. While I totally understand why y’all use anon, it does limit my ability to address them, especially for more sensitive or personal questions.

However, I still wanted to resolve this question as yesterday’s post comes from a very personal place, and perhaps for that reason, I do want it to be clear moving forward. While I think subsequent posts may do that, in case they do not, I will also answer it here.

That said, I will be doing so under the cut because it involves a more in depth discussion of Zelda’s situation in yesterday’s post. So if that post is as far as you would like to go on this subject, please stop reading here.

No, Zelda did not have a miscarriage. Nor did she just “not become pregnant.” Zelda and Antoine have more or less been trying to get pregnant for a year, and she has continued to get her period month after month. Let me make something abundantly clear, I am in no way minimizing the pain of having a miscarriage, nor ignoring how that could have been the conclusion of that post. However, I am specifically writing about a different experience with one’s fertility and how that can affect one’s mind in its own way.

I am clarifying this because it is its own, albeit deeply related and sometimes simultaneously experienced, pain. That is because many people will view it as “you never had anything to lose” or “there was never any traumatic event to be upset over.” It is a slower pain, damn near constant; that comes to you in cycles as you follow your own so closely.

As many women who have tried to get pregnant can testify, the hyper awareness of one’s fertility can be overpowering, as you restart each and every month, planning your life around the best time to try and conceive. Then once that passes, you search your body for every little sign to tell you whether or not you succeeded. But still, there’s nothing you can do but wait.

There’s a very specific line in that post that sometimes Zelda was late enough to make them think she had conceived. Imagine there is no pregnancy test, and all you can do is hope that every time you look down, you haven’t started your period. Even if it’s “just” one day, or a few hours, you do it every single time. Every single trip to the bathroom becomes a high stakes moment because if it’s there, then you “failed”, and you have to start all over again. Until sooner or later it eats away at the excitement and hope you felt when you first began the process.

It is exhausting and Zelda’s statement that “she is broken” becomes an almost inevitable thought as it happens over and over and over again. Meanwhile there seem to be countless examples or even other women telling you that it should be easy or that all you have to do is relax. Even worse, you’re told you have to “keep trying” because nothing “bad” has happened, has it?

There are countless women in this position, and if you are or have ever been one of them, my heart goes out to you. That is why I wanted to clarify this before we proceed any further in this story, because this is a very intentional experience I am writing about and I don’t want it to be misinterpreted for that very reason.

[lokisprettygirl]

Under his influence (Post Avengers! Loki x female reader)

Read chapter 17 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 18

Summary : You visit NYC for Jane's birthday where you bump into the love of your life again.

Warning: mention of sex, mention of periods, heartbreak and angst, talk of murder and kidnapping, mention of psychological torture, angst, insecurities, self deprecating behaviour, panic attack, best friends to lovers who are also bestest of friends to just best friends to possibly lovers as well as best friends again, Melissa is mentioned

"What should I be wearing?" You asked Jane and she started to ramble on excitedly. You had to leave first thing in the morning for NYC. First thing first you were glad to travel the distance with an actual flight this time instead of Thor's Mobonil. It would be a hassle but at least the chances of a sudden heart attack risk would remain low.

You tried so hard to convince Jane that that you won't be able to come because it's been just two months since that night when Loki and you had decided to continue this relationship platonically and it's been three weeks since you have seen him last. Avengers were on a mission, something about a certain winter soldier, you didn't understand much when Loki was telling you about it. He wasn't your boyfriend and considering how busy he was with his new job as an Avenger, you didn't want to continue to pester him with every little thing that you wanted to share with him.

Everyday you woke up with a heavy heart knowing that your friendship with Loki would eventually fade with time and he'd drift apart. A week ago Loki had arranged a press conference to come out with the truth about Melissa and the whole farce. The response was her filing a FIR against him for domestic abuse but Loki was able to get away because the Avengers refuted any such claims. He was surprised he had their support, their attitude regarding him was starting to change, some people were shocked over the break up and you still remembered when he was asked about whether the story of him ending up in a woman's apartment was true or not, he looked right into the camera as if he was trying to deliver a secret message to you and said that everything was true and it was real for him and being cooped up in your apartment was the happiest he had ever felt in his life.

You were still in love with him and you wished for him to feel the same but deep down you knew you weren't anything special, you saw several pictures of Loki where he was surrounded by a herd of men and women alike, he wasn't really doing anything with any of them, he didn't even seem to flirt, he was just talking but those pictures were still scandalized because an Asgardian god was single and everyone seemed eager to try their luck with him.

A week ago you had called him after that video of him preventing a whole skyscraper from collapsing went viral all around the world, while he did that the Avengers were able to get everyone out safely. It was truly magnificent but the longer you stayed away from him the more phantomic he became for you, you started to see him the way everyone else was seeing him and it wasn't that much of a shock that he was being lusted after so blatantly by everyone around him and you knew one of these days someone will catch his eyes and he'd give into those feelings and then he won't even be your friend.

No woman would ever want her man to be friends with his ex this way, especially a man like him, you'd be just another stranger for him. It's been six days since you had heard anything from him and it was starting to bother you alot.

You wiped your tears before you got up and decided to pack a little something for the trip. You'd leave tomorrow but you still didn't have any idea where you were going to stay, the day after her birthday Jane wanted to go sightseeing in New York City, then you'll return the next day.

She had just moved in the Avengers towards with Thor and her assistant Darcy, she was also an astrophysicist, you noticed her chatting up with Loki in one of the Instagram videos Jane had uploaded. Of course the focus wasn't on them but like an obsessed creep you downloaded the video, zoomed in and found them in the corner just talking and laughing with each other, you cried all night after that because you felt absolutely pathetic and scared about this development. He hadn't told you anything about her yet.

She was beautiful, funny and intelligent and she didn't seem to have a crappy personality like Melisaa so you couldn't even hate her. What else a man like Loki would ever need from a woman?

Did he even know you were coming there? You didn't tell him and he didn't ask either, maybe Jane hadn't told him yet. You felt nervous, your anxiety was over the roof, you knew there would be several high profile personalities there and you barely knew just three of them.

"Okay she's coming, now all we need to do is to hide her from him until the party" Jane said to Thor so he smiled.

"Oh that won't be a problem, I will take Loki somewhere"

Thor didn't know the full extent of what had transpired between you and Loki but it had something to do with the attack on Melissa. He did feel though that both of you were being really foolish about this situation.

He stepped out of his room to find Loki and located him in the living space along with Darcy, they were having a conversation about the alignment of the stars that he wasn't interested in participating in.

"Brother tomorrow you and me shall go see that statue everybody keeps hollering about" Thor told him so loki furrowed his brows,

"Really? It's Lady Jane's birthday. You wouldn't want to be here with her instead?" Thor gulped as Loki questioned him "Besides Darcy is taking me to the mall to buy presents for her" he said so Thor breathed in relief, he just wanted him out of the tower anyhow.

"Aren't you worried about being seen with a mortal again?" Thor questioned again so Loki smiled and waved his fingers, in a moment Loki and Darcy were turned into different people who had no resemblance to any of their real self whatsoever.

"Should I worry now?" Loki chuckled as he questioned.

"I suppose not"

The next day you woke up early in the morning to reach the airport on time, it took approximately three hours to reach NYC and it was around 2 pm when you landed, you called Jane immediately and she told you that there was a car waiting to pick you up so you found the person, hopped in and it took you straight to the Avengers tower, you kept your eyes on the road just enjoying the sight, you had never been to NYC before.

As you reached the tower, you were scanned and your belongings were checked carefully before they allowed you to enter. The place was huge and your anxiety was only bubbling more and more. When you reached the 18th floor Jane was waiting for you, she immediately pulled you in a hug and that's when you were able to calm down, even if just a little, Thor approached you as well and he grabbed the back of your hand to place a formal kiss. You wished her happy birthday and you could tell she was so happy, she was turning thirty and you couldn't help but feel envious about her accomplishments in life, you both were almost the same age and while she was on top of the world you had nothing going on for you.

"So ummmm where's Loki?" You asked them so they looked at each other.

"I think he's away with Darcy, they had to buy presents for Jane" Thor answered you and Jane grinned like a cheshire cat.

"I'm getting presents?" She asked him so he kissed her softly,

"Of Course you are, it's your birthday my beloved" you stood there awkwardly at the interaction, just the thought of Loki not being here and worse him being out there with Darcy was enough to make your heart sink again but before you could sulk in self pity Jane grabbed your arm and took you to a room on the same floor, you passed by Loki's room and your heart clenched again.

"Ummm Jane, is this dress good enough for the party? Or I can go buy something if it's not, this is the fanciest thing i had in my closet" you pulled out a dress from your luggage, it was a black fit and flare sort of dress with once inch wider straps. The hem of the dress was flared and it gave it a sexy but elegant look. Though your elegance probably wasn't up to their standards so you just wanted to ask for her opinion first, she invited you, the last thing you wanted was for her to be embarrassed of you in front of everyone. You were so nervous to be in the same room as the goddamn Avengers but she assured you that the dress was perfect for her birthday party and you had nothing to worry about.

You also lied to your mom about the trip, you told her it was an old friend from college and not Jane Foster because your mother knew everything about Avengers and who they were dating. Her opinions on Loki had pretty much stayed the same.

Once you had showered Jane took you to get lunch, it was nice to roam around the tower without needing the cloak of invisibility. You had the cloak in your luggage, Loki never asked for it, thankfully the man at the security had barely picked it up so it just seemed like a fancy robe.

Around 4 pm while you were doing your makeup you heard Loki's voice echoing in the hallway, your heart sped at the sound of his voice but then you heard her voice as well, Darcy. They were talking and laughing about something you didn't understand but your heart broke into pieces knowing that it wasn't you making him laugh like that. He sounded…okay, more than okay, he sounded happy. Was she the reason he hasn't been in touch with you lately? Was he moving on and falling for her? Your eyes welled up at the thought. You heard a knock on the door and felt your gut sinking when you heard his voice,

"Is someone in there?" He asked but you were frozen in your spot. Just a few months ago you were hiding with him and now you were hiding from him.

This wasn't the first time you had been here at this very place in your life but it always hurt the same. He was supposed to be your best friend, you probably never should have taken it any further than that because those romantic feelings always complicated the friendship too.

"That room is vacant Kiki, you know Jane said she was having a friend over for the party so it's probably her..how did you know someone was in there?" She even had a nickname for him. Wow.

"I just… I just thought that…nevermind" you heard him saying before their footsteps faded into the hallway.

What were you thinking coming here? You just wanted to get out of here and run away but it wouldn't have been fair to Jane, she had gone through so much trouble for you, you didn't think you would have ever done anything like this for her.

The party was in the lounge of the 18th floor, you had noticed the directional map of the floor in the living room so you just followed that and you bumped into Thor as soon as you did.

"Norns are you alright lady y/n? My apologies" he apologized immediately

"It's okay I'm okay" you let out a nervous laughter so he smiled,

"Lady y/n, would you be so kind as to grant me a favour?" He asked you and you looked at him nervously.

"Ofcourse anything "

"Please can you just go to Loki's room and retrieve him, i wouldn't want him to be fashionably late as always" you nodded as he said that and turned around to leave the lounge and into the hall again. You probably should have said no but you knew Thor knew that you both were still friends at least and you didn't want to make it more awkward than it already was.

You walked towards his room and sighed before you knocked. At last you had come face to face with Darcy but somehow you managed to find your voice. What was she doing in his room?

"Ummm hiii is Loki here? His brother has been looking for him" You asked her so she opened the door all the way to the end and you were met with his pale but pretty as always face, he seemed shocked and taken by surprise of your presence there. He had a black blazer on with a white tee shirt underneath and a black fitted pants, he slowly walked towards you and past Darcy to reach closer to you. He looked devastatingly handsome and you were devastated by it.

"Y/n?" He gulped as he looked at you so you faked a smile.

"Hiii"

"I can't believe you are here" he smiled briefly before he pulled you in for a hug, the smell of his cologne immediately made you relive the memories you had made with him before everything fell apart. As he pulled away he cupped your cheeks and kissed your forehead.

"How come you are here? Why didn't you tell me?" He asked you so you looked at Darcy and then looked at him.

"It was so sudden..umm Jane invited me yesterday..I was going to call. I just thought you were busy" you said to him.

"I am never too busy for you, you know that. Right?" Your eyes teared up as he said that so you looked down and blinked rapidly in order to restrain your tears. You felt pathetic.

"Thor wants to see you in the lounge" you said to him so Darcy closed the door of his room and all three of you proceeded towards the lounge together.

"When did you get here and how?" He asked you so you told him. He looked at your room as you all passed by it and he had a sudden realization, his instincts were never wrong about you. He smelled you and he could feel you around him but he just thought he was overthinking as usual.

As you reached the lounge you got away from him to go be with Jane and it hurt him a little. Were you upset with him? You must be, he hadn't been calling lately but he had his reasons. This wasn't getting any easier for him by the day.

"Okay if anyone asks just tell them your name is Stacy" Jane said to you so you nodded, there was a woman you didn't recognise at the party and she was watching you like a hawk for some reason.

"Do you know all these people?" you asked Jane so she laughed.

"Not really but they all work for the Avengers" you nodded as she said that. You felt Loki's eyes on you and it made you feel nervous, you probably shouldn't have gotten away without saying anything but you just felt extremely hurt. Seeing another woman in his room had burned you with intense jealousy, there was probably nothing between them but you still felt bothered by their situation. When Jane took you to the open bar, you got a mocktail, you didn't want to consume alcohol and embarrass yourself any further. She had to go see other people so she left you on your own and that's when the woman who couldn't stop staring at you approached you.

"Hello" she raised her hand forward so you shook it.

"I'm Dalia, I'm their publicist" she introduced herself so you gulped nervously. You knew about her but you had never seen her. This was the same woman because of whom Loki wasn't able to get in touch with you when they had brought him here first .

"Ummm imm Stacy, Jane's friend"

"Really? So you're not Y/n Y/l/n?" She asked you and you looked at her a little shocked that she recognised you. She looked at you up and down before she started to speak again "Look.. nothing against you but I really hope you're not here to seduce Loki again, though I must say you're really fucking it up already with that dress" your eyes teared up as she mumbled. There was a smirk on her face that you just wanted to slap away.

"He's just a friend"

"Keep it that way..I mean I am glad you came. Now you can be around here and see that you don't belong with these people and especially not Loki" she walked away after saying that. You put the drink down on the counter as you had to get out of the lounge for a moment because you could feel the panic increasing in your chest. Your eyes met with Jane so you gestured that you wanted to go use loo and she smiled at you. How was she so much better at dealing with this stuff?

You walked out of the lounge and you wished you didn't have the stupid heels on so you could just run away but you were helpless, you cut the corner and braced yourself against the wall as the anxiety rose rapidly, your chest felt constricted again and you couldn't breathe properly.

You didn't belong here or with Loki, that was one of your fears coming here but having someone confirm it to your face was what tipped you off the edge.

You breathed heavily and hoped for the feeling to pass but it was only worsening every second. The tears rolled down constantly and you were so close to just burst into a fit of cries when you felt someone grabbing your shoulders, you looked up at him and it was Loki.

"Loo" you could barely whisper, you couldn't see his face properly because your vision had gotten blurry but you noticed those tears in his eyes "I can't breathe" your voice again came out breathless so he stepped closer to you, cupped your cheeks and you felt his fingers rubbing over your skin

"You can, just take a deep breath for me on the count of three alright, can you do that?" The broken look on your face clenched his heart. He hated himself in the moment, even more so than usual, he should have been here for you, he was supposed to be your friend, your best friend. You followed his instruction and the wheezing breaths were starting to diminish the longer he had you in his embrace,

"That's it, you're doing good my darling, you are okay i promise you are okay" he cooed gently before he pulled you into him for a hug. You cried as much as you needed to cry to let it all out but you had to pull away at some point.

"Thank you, and I'm sorry" you mumbled softly so he smiled.

"I am sorry too"

You shook your head as he said that.

"I shouldn't have come here, i don't belong here"

"Really?" He asked you as he was certainly offended so you nodded, he suddenly grabbed your arm and took you back to the party.

"See that lady over there? She's so inebriated you will find her hurling her insides out before the night ends" you looked at him a bit taken away by the sudden statement as he pinpointed towards a woman.

"Oh look at the Captain, he's drinking his sorrows away and once he's intoxicated he's going to embarrass himself by singing an old school love ballad" you looked at Captain America as Loki pointed towards him.

"See those two, they are publically having an altercation over something trivial" he gestured towards Tony and Pepper and you sighed, you knew what he was trying to say "These people are just humans like you, just mortals, they are not perfect or better than you, they could never be" you nodded as he said that.

"Thank you lo..thank you" he smiled as you said that.

"I have mis–" you cut him off before he had even finished his sentence. You wished later that you hadn't done that.

"What about her?" You hinted towards Darcy so he looked at her, he was confused by the question and the all the implications they carried..

"She's a friend, that is all" A friend, same as you two used to be?

You nodded as he said that. Things had gotten extremely awkward between you two, for once since you had known him you both felt out of sync with each other, the conversation just didn't feel natural.

The party went well and you couldn't have been more thankful for Jane that she invited you here but you shouldn't have come here because you felt as if this would ruin whatever friendship you had left between you two.

When you went back to your room that night all alone it was hard to fall asleep. It was even harder to not cry every other minute. You decided that you had to talk to Loki and see if you still had him in your life or not because if not you had to make sure you weren't hurting yourself like this every moment because this didn't seem healthy. You got up and walked into the hallway, halfway through you saw Loki walking towards you as well, as he stepped closer he seemed as if he had just showered.

"Hiii" you smiled at him, you just wanted to talk to him..

"Can we talk in your room?" He asked you so nodded, you both walked side by side back to your room, was he coming to see you as well? You truly hoped so.

As you reached there, you both sat down on the bed,

"I'm sorry if I have been weird today, I just.. it's hard, it's the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life" you said to him so he turned his head to look at you.

"It's torturous darling, I don't enjoy this and I apologize if I have been a bad friend to you but I just can't see you everyday because everytime i look at you I am only thinking of the things we'd never get to have with each other" your eyes welled up as he said that "I can't stop obsessing over the moments we have spent with each other, I can't stop thinking that I'd never get to kiss you again and I haven't slept in a month because all I think of as soon as I hit the bed is you. I stay awake all night just wishing for you to hold me again"

You felt speechless by the confession, you didn't know what to say to him.

"Lo, I miss all that too I really do. I was so scared coming here today because I felt as if we were drifting apart. Ten years from now I don't want to look back at my life and regret losing a precious person like you, ten years down the line I still want to have you by my side" he wiped his tears as he sniffled.

"I am upset you did not tell me that you were coming here" you placed your hand on his as he mumbled, he had every right to be upset with you. You would have been upset too if the roles were reversed.

"I am sorry, i should have, i should have told my best friend that I was coming here"

"Yes, you should have because If I knew I'd have come pick you up at the airport and perhaps we would have gone for sightseeing" he smiled and it was so infectious that you were compelled to do the same.

"I am staying tomorrow so we can go do that" he nodded as you said that. He brought your hand up to his mouth and gave it a few birdlike kisses and you hugged him as appropriately as you could. It didn't feel awkward now anymore, it felt perfect, all you had to do was communicate with him.

"We are definitely doing that" he got up and smiled again as he wished you a good night of sleep. But before he could step out of your room he turned around to look at you and smiled but his eyes were teary again.

"Darcy is just a friend, we have similar interests but she's not anything more than that and we definitely dont share the same affinity as both of us do" You gulped as he said that, he must have sensed your jealousy regarding her "No one could ever be you or take your place in my heart. I hope you will always remember that my sweet darling princess"

Your mouth stayed open in shock as he stepped out of the room and then you cried again. He still loved you and you loved him, then why weren't you two together? Why did he allow his fear of losing you to death win over his love? For once in your life why couldn't you just take a chance for the love you felt for him? What more did you have to lose here? You were pondering over this complicated situation when you remembered the saying on the knife he has gifted you.

"If you ever find yourself trapped by the twisted paths of uncertainties, remember that you can always cut through and make a new one" A new path, something in between, maybe tomorrow you'd be able to create that.

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

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[ititledit]

Terrible headline choice, but overall I'm glad child free women are getting some mainstream coverage

________________

The number of women choosing not to have children is growing and the global birth rate is plunging.

While their reasons vary from climate worries to financial concerns and health complications, those making the decision to be "child-free by choice" say societal acceptance is yet to come, often leaving them feeling ostracised.

The BBC spoke to members of Bristol Childfree Women, a social group with more than 500 members, set up by women and for women who have decided not to have children.

While Caroline Mitchell always knew she never wanted children, she wasn't prepared for how hard reaching "child-bearing age" would be.

The 46-year-old, who lives with her husband in Brislington, Bristol, said while it never bothered her when she was younger, she had not anticipated the barrage of personal questions she would face as friends and acquaintances started to have children.

"I have felt like a freak because of it," she said.

"I feel like my perspective and my experience is just not acceptable."

In Caroline's eyes, society is set up for motherhood.

"You realise how you're quite excluded from a lot of life," she said.

"It's really hard for me to meet people, because it's all about the women you meet at the school gates or the writing clubs for mums."

Caroline said she thinks that sometimes women with children believe the "whole world" is set up for child-free women.

"Actually, it's really exclusionary," she said.

Many in her circle of friends have children and while they have never knowingly done anything to make her feel different, she says, the fact they are "all doing one thing" and she is doing another has been "quite hard".

While Caroline is "100% certain" and "very comfortable" in her identity, she admits she has, on occasion, “agonised" about her decision.

She said that was down to the "cultural expectation" of what was normal and the concept that if you were a woman, having a child was "the natural thing to do".

Official figures released in 2022, external show record numbers of women are reaching the age of 30 child-free.

More than half (50.1%) of women in England and Wales born in 1990 were without a child when they turned 30 in 2020, the first generation to do so, according to the Office for National Statistics.

Megan Stanley, who is originally from Oxfordshire and lives in Bristol, was so certain about her decision to not have children, she has been trying to get sterilised since the age of 19.

When it comes to her painful periods, Megan said it feels "cruel" to go through the "suffering every single month for a body function" she feels she does not need.

"I know that sterilisation doesn't solve periods but it does alleviate a lot of those major symptoms," she said.

But the 31-year-old said she has come up against hurdle after hurdle.

“The doctors would say ‘you're still a bit young’ or ‘you might change your mind’,” she said.

The furthest Megan got was when she was 29 and had an appointment with a surgeon.

"I'd prepared everything - my medical history, prepared all my line of reasoning. I'd even gone as far as to get a testimony from the therapist I was seeing. I'd gone the full mile," she said.

However, permission was not granted once the gynaecologist asked about her relationship status.

"At the time I'd been dating my now long-term partner for maybe three months," Megan said.

She told the doctor that her partner also definitely did not want children and he had already had a vasectomy.

Megan said the doctor then told her that if her partner had a vasectomy, “then you don't need to have this done, do you?"

It was then that Megan said she realised it was "inescapable" and they were "just not going to do it".

"Why should what happens to my body be beholden to what he's done to his?" she said.

"It's got to the point now where I long for the menopause. That's what I'm looking forward to."

Caroline believes women without children may be “complicit” in keeping cultural expectations as they are.

"We don't talk about it - so there's still this thought that it's what everyone does," she said.

"Motherhood is just everywhere all the time, in your face."

She said it was hard not fitting in with the "norm of society" and at times, she had wished she was "different".

"My life would have been easier in some ways," she said.

Yet for many women, whatever choices they make, they seem to beat themselves up about it and "seem to be not very accepting of everyone's choice", Caroline added.

Fiona Powley said she knew she did not want to be a mother from the age of 12 after seeing her own mum struggle with motherhood.

“I just thought motherhood didn't look like lot of fun," she said.

Now 49, Fiona runs the Bristol Childfree Women group, external and while she is currently experiencing menopausal symptoms, she has "no panicking feeling" that she did not use her ability to reproduce.

"It feels very comfortable," she said.

Ironically Fiona now looks at herself and thinks she could have actually done “quite a good job of parenting" but she "never really wanted it enough".

However, like Caroline and Megan she said new people she meets can react negatively when she tells them she chose not to have children.

“There's being told you'll regret it. What's your point of existing? If you don't have children you're not valid as a woman," Fiona said.

Fiona has even been called "selfish" and some have questioned who will look after her when she is old.

“It's almost like people feel uncomfortable," she said.

“It's probably because it never occurred to them that they also had a choice.”

Megan can sympathise.

In the past, the reaction to her not wanting children has been quite "visceral", she said.

She claims some people have painted her as "a child-hater, or a mean person” because of it.

"I think my not wanting kids is just an innate thing to who I am," she said.

Fiona said there were so many reasons why people decide not to have children.

Looking back, she thinks her own reasons were "probably quite unhealthy", but she knows that she is not going to "suddenly wake up as an old lady and feel bitter and regret".

Caroline said she would be a "resentful mother", adding there were a "huge amount of upsides" to not having children, like focusing her time on her relationship with her husband and her hobbies.

Megan agrees.

“There’s a lot of joy to be had in not having kids," she said.

“It isn't all about freedom and money. It's about choice."

[beefromanoff]

Project Mockingbird Ch. 1

summary: Natasha identifies a girl who needs their help and makes a case to the rest of the team. the problem? the girl who needs the help was genetically engineered to oppose their friend.

pairing: Bucky Barnes x OC

chapter list

________________________________________

Three Months Earlier

The team filed into the conference room at The Avengers’ Compound in their usual order: Steve and Vision (fifteen minutes early), Peter, Bruce, Wanda, and Sam right on time, and Tony striding in five minutes late. 

“I have to admit, when I heard you wanted to see me, I was hoping for more of a one-on-one situation.” Sam joked as he plopped down in his chair. 

“Keep dreaming, Wilson.” She shot him a side-eyed glance, a shadow of a smile on her face. 

The room held a strange energy, remaining unusually quiet as everyone waited for Natasha to explain the reason for calling the meeting. Steve and Tony had historically been the only ones to call official team briefings. 

“I found a girl.” Natasha slid a stack of folders across the table. 

“Hey, love is love. As long as I can watch.” Tony grinned. 

“Shut up.” She ignored him and clicked a button on her computer, bringing a set video footage to life on the screen behind her. “Her name is Charlotte Julianna Rossi. She’s 21 years old, according to her Drivers’ License. According to her birth certificate, she’s closer to 100.” 

The room fell quiet, Steve and Natasha exchanging a sobering gaze. The screen on the wall showed several clips at once, all featuring a pretty young girl. Her hair was different colors across all of the clips, some showing her with long, blonde locks and some showing a cropped dark haircut with severe bangs, others showing varying shades of red. 

“She’s hardly been on the radar until the past two years. In that time period, she’s been hospitalized seventeen times for injuries consistent with overuse and extreme fatigue. Rhabdomyolysis, kidney damage, severe muscle strain, dehydration, the list goes on. Every single time, she’s admitted in a critical state but checks herself out against medical advice less than 24 hours later.” 

As the team shuffled through the documents in front of them, putting pieces together, Natasha continued. 

“I found her because she made headlines earlier this year after getting kicked out of Team USA Olympic trials for women’s gymnastics. They tried to cover it up, didn’t want to get any questions they didn’t have an answer for. From what I was able to gather, she came out of nowhere, competed at the last National Championship meet as an unaffiliated gymnast, and won every event with a perfect score. The entire gymnastics community was up in arms about it. They tried to figure out where she came from, where she trained, but there was nothing. No record. Of course, Team USA begged her to come to the tryout, she blew them away. Somehow, one of the families of the gymnasts at risk of losing their spot got her kicked off for use of performance enhancing drugs. The thing is, there’s no record of her ever even being tested.”

“No offense, Nat, but we aren’t exactly looking to start a Cirque Du Soleil Troupe here.” 

“Tony, shut the fuck up and let me finish.” She gave him an austere look as he put his hands up defensively. 

“Since then, she’s won a dozen amateur MMA matches, three boxing matches, and won fifteen straight games of poker before being banned from the majority of Vegas casinos. She’s making her money drifting, picking up random things and kicking everyone’s ass at them. Clearly, it’s not without a toll, if you look at her hospital records.”

She clicked a button and the screen shifted, sending a chill down everyone’s spine. A grainy document had been scanned in, the HYDRA symbol emblazoned on the top of the letterhead. 

“Project Mockingbird. It was pioneered two years after the Winter Soldier project. Specifically, it was initiated only ten days after a record seventeen HYDRA agents were critically injured trying to contain their primary test subject during an attempted escape.” 

Wanda spoke slowly. “You mean…”

“Bucky.” Steve breathed out. 

“Right.” Natasha was solemn. “I didn’t want to leave him out of this, but I didn’t know how he’d handle it. I figured it was better to tell him once we have more information.” 

Steve nodded, brow knit together in concern. 

“Okay, so I think I’m tracking all of this, but if you could - just so I’m clear, what exactly does all of this mean?” Peter leaned forward nervously. 

Taking a deep breath, Natasha answered. “This is just a hypothesis, but I don’t see much wiggle room. It appears that when HYDRA was working on the Winter Soldier project, on Bucky…they had difficulties containing him. Controlling him. When it became apparent that ordinary agents couldn’t do it, they took to experimenting on others. Orphans, mainly. People no one would miss. Trying to create something…someone to be able to stand against him.”

She pulled out a chair and sat for the first time, regarding all of them seriously. “They had dozens of test subjects. The majority of them didn’t survive the initial round of experimentation. A few others suffered complications in cryo. She’s the only one left.”

“Forgive me for being so forward,” Vision spoke up. “But, if I’m understanding correctly, we have reason to believe that Ms. Ross, she was created to oppose Sergeant Barnes.” 

“Yes.” Natasha avoided Steve’s eyes like her life depended on it. “I believe that Charlotte Julianna Rossi was enhanced by HYDRA as a sentient weapon with the primary purpose being containment and control of The Winter Soldier.” 

Present Day

“Thank you.” Natasha gave a polite smile to the driver as he opened the car door for her to step out. They’d arrived at the Wynn, one of - if not the nicest hotels on the Las Vegas strip. 

She’d wasted no time after the mission was approved, spending the majority of the flight putting on full glam and finishing it off with the perfect red lip. Black cocktail dress, gold heels that caught and reflected all the Vegas lights, studded clutch purse with cash, lipstick, and a pistol. Tony had offered to book her a hotel room through his connections, but she’d waved him off. 

They’d be back in New York by sunrise. 

It didn’t take long for her to locate Charlotte. Though 8pm was early by Vegas accounts, the casino was lively. Natasha dodged several attempted pick-up attempts by drunken gamblers as she wove through the tables to her end destination: the high stakes room. A sultry smile paired with her low cut dress made quick work of gaining entry. It wasn’t unusual for beautiful women to be welcomed into the high stakes room. The only thing rich men loved more than blowing money was doing it in front of a pretty audience. Nat slipped into the intimate room, the air full of cigar smoke and jazz music. 

Seated at a small table was a pretty brunette, eyes dark with smudged shadow and lips glossy. A martini sat in front of her, completely untouched, judging by the lack of a gloss print on the rim. Charlotte tapped the table in front of her, signaling for the dealer to give her another card. She already showed a nineteen, meaning standard play said she shouldn’t hit. The crowd murmured, exchanging glances. In the betting circle was a stack of $1,000 chips that Natasha estimated to be around $20,000. 

To the shock of everyone but Natasha and Charlotte, the dealer flipped a third card to reveal a two of diamonds. Blackjack. 

Charlotte grinned, leaning back and relishing in the applause as the dealer paled and began counting out chips to pay her. Nat cracked a smile but immediately felt a jolt in her stomach. The dealer had given a nod to the guard at the front, who was now touching his earpiece and speaking softly. She couldn’t hear him over the music, but his lips read clear as day: She must be counting. 

Acting quickly, Nat stepped to the table, making herself wobbly and heavy lidded.

“Ohmygod, THERE you are,” she put a hand on Charlotte’s shoulder, who immediately tensed. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere, c’mon, the girls are waiting with the Uber,”

She squeezed Charlotte’s shoulder and briefly broke character to give an urgent look, hoping she’d pick up on the fact that the drunk persona was intentional.

“Oh, look at the time,” She said in mock surprise. “It’s been fun, don’t have too much fun without me!” Her manicured hands slid stacks of chips into her purse, a few falling to the floor with wide-eyed spectators locked onto them. 

“Get yourself something nice, Gary.” She flicked a purple $1,000 chip to the dealer who fumbled to catch it. Out of the corner of her eye, Natasha saw two men approaching them from across the casino floor. She elbowed Charlotte, who tracked her gaze and clocked them immediately. 

Waving her arm, Natasha knocked the still-full martini glass onto the felt of the Blackjack table. The gin spewed across the cards and glass splintered on contact. “Oh, jeez, I’m so sorry, I really shouldn’t have taken that last shot,” She called the apology over her shoulder into the chaos that descended over the mess, linking her arm through Charlotte’s as she fumbled to close her small bag around the massive amount of chips. 

They slid out the door under the cover of the bachelorette party walking past, slipping right into the middle of the drunken parade. 

“What’s going on?” The brunette hissed through a fake smile, keeping the facade up. 

“You were about to get busted. I thought I’d help a girl out.” Nat said through her own plastered smile, eyes darting around the room in search of their next problem. 

“I know what I’m doing.” 

“I know. That’s why I’m here in the first place.” 

Charlotte side-eyed her as they walked through the casino, still covered by the herd of pink boas and giggles. 

“Stark sent you.” 

“No.”

“I’m not stupid, I-”

“He’s the stupid one. I wanted to come in the first place, it was him who thought the testosterone brigade was the way to go. We can get into that later, but right now we’ve gotta move. There’s two coming up -”

“Yeah, six o’clock. Two more probably waiting around the corner up ahead. If we cut through the floor, we can make it to the cashier before they get to us.”

Natasha raised an eyebrow, impressed at how they jumped to the same wavelength. “You still want to cash out?”

Charlotte grinned, a wild gleam in her eye. “Duh.” 

A few minutes later, they’d steered the group of girls to the cashier and fanned them out so that each of the six windows had two girls standing in front of it. Each of them with roughly $4,000 worth of chips in their hands. They got through the exchanges in record time, leaving the bachelorettes in a flurry of drunken “iloveyou’s” with a stack of bills to show their appreciation for the help. 

“That should cover the rest of their weekend.” Nat smirked as they strode quickly to the lobby, positioning her body slightly in front of Charlotte so as not to draw attention to the thick wads of cash she was zipping into her bag. 

“I don’t know, I can blow three grand pretty quickly on my own, let alone with ten of my closest friends.” 

“I don’t think I want ten friends.” 

Charlotte matched her pace, the bag finally zipped. “I don’t even know ten people, I just thought it sounded good.” 

They reached the front doors, nodding at the valet who held the door open for them. 

“I have a driver, this way.” Natasha cocked her head to the front of the valet line, full of sports cars and sleek SUVs. Glancing over her shoulder at the casino, the men seemed to have lost them in the crowd. Charlotte weighed her options quickly, deciding that taking a getaway car with the Avenger was preferable to whatever awaited her if she stayed.

They slid into the backseat of the black sedan, breathing quickly from adrenaline. 

“You’re back so soon, Ms. Romanoff.” The driver called from the front seat. 

“It was getting stale, figured I could find something more fun.” 

The driver’s eyes crinkled in a knowing smile in the rearview mirror. Charlotte had a feeling he knew much more than he should, choosing to live in ignorance. 

“You hungry?” the redhead asked nonchalantly. 

“Starving.” 

_________________

The duo sat in a secluded corner booth of a dark bar. The remnants of two burgers sat strewn across the plates, a few leftover fries getting cold. Natasha signaled to the bartender for another round of martinis, extra dirty. 

“Who knew the best burgers in Vegas would come from a strip club?” Charlotte downed the remnants of her drink to make room for the new one. 

“Hey, I’m no stranger to Vegas.” 

“So I can tell.” She shifted to sit up straighter. “Do you wanna get into your sales pitch now, or should we wait for the drinks?”

Natasha remained casual, leaning against the pristine leather of the booth. “There’s no sales pitch. Just an offer. Take it or leave it.” 

“And the offer is…?” 

“Come with me. Back to New York. Live at the compound. Be around people like you.”

Charlotte shook her head. “There are no people like me.” 

“Spare me the pity party bullshit.” Nat leaned in. “I don’t know the specifics of your story, but I know enough to tell you that we are like you.”

Taken aback by her forcefulness, the brunette narrowed her eyes. 

“Enhanced individual? Pretty much all of us. Dark, twisty past? We’ve got ‘em. Done things we aren’t proud of? Goes without saying. No friends, no family? We have a very dysfunctional Thanksgiving of our own.” She gave a small smile. “Experimented on, dehumanized, controlled, stripped of autonomy? Specifically by one particular Nazi rogue science division?” Natasha changed her tone, speaking gently. “One of my very best friends knows a little something about that, too.” 

Charlotte tensed, eyes glazed as she stared into the dark room in front of them. “James Barnes.” It wasn’t a question. 

“We call him Bucky.” 

Chewing her lower lip, Charlotte seemed lost in her thoughts. A cocktail waitress interrupted with two fresh drinks, setting them down with a smile. Eyes still defocused, she reached out to sip the drink slowly. 

“I don’t think it’s smart.” 

“Why?” Natasha took a sip of her own. “There’s nowhere safer for you. The Compound is literally the most secure place on Earth, except maybe Wakanda, and before you say you’re worried about hurting someone there - don’t. We live with Dr. Banner, who you probably know as the Hulk. I’m sure you’re a force to be reckoned with, but I can assure you that even on your worst day you wouldn’t be putting us at risk.”

She spun the wooden stick adorned with olives between her fingers, thinking. “I don’t want to be an Avengers. I’m not a hero. I don’t want to fight.” 

“Then don’t.” Natasha shrugged. “I’m not a military recruiter. I just remember what it was like to be alone, scared. Unsure where to go or who to trust. I’m offering you a home and a group of people you can count on. Anything else is up to you.” 

Charlotte smirked. “You’re much better at this than the last three.” 

“Story of my life.” She rolled her eyes.

“So, what would happen if I said yes? Hypothetically.” 

“Well, hypothetically, I have a jet waiting at the private airfield. We’d go to whichever hotel you’re renting the penthouse out of, get your stuff, and fly back tonight.” 

“Why do you assume I’m renting out a penthouse?” 

Natasha grinned, biting an olive off the stick. “It’s what I would do.” 

Narrowing her eyes, Charlotte cocked her jaw. “I’m at the Cosmo.”

“Great choice.” She held her martini up, signaling for a toast. “How about this, we go out tonight. Do Vegas right. Do it big. If you have fun, you come back with me and try living with us. If you don’t have a good time, I’ll accept that I’m no better than the guys and go back on my own. We won’t bug you anymore, but the offer will always stand.”

“You know, a bet predicated on having fun in Las Vegas seems like a very unfair advantage.” She raised her own glass.

“I’ve never been much of a gambler.” 

“That makes one of us.” Charlotte grinned. “You’re on.” 

_________________

It was just after 4:00am when their dutiful driver opened the door on the tarmac. Heels in hand, two sets of bare feet walked up the steps into the sleek jet, Stark Industries emblazoned on the side. 

“I still can’t believe they kicked us out.” Charlotte rubbed her temples as she sunk into the white leather seat. 

“Well they don’t really encourage doing backflips off of the craps table.” Natasha sat down across from her. 

“Here I thought Vegas was the one place where anything goes.” She dropped her purse on the table in front of them, the thud echoing in the empty cabin. “At least we made out alright.” 

“I expect a cut for saving your ass.” 

“I’ll consider it.” 

“You like pancakes?” Natasha punched a few buttons on a screen embedded in the wall.

“Um, who doesn’t?” 

Grinning, the redhead slid her feet onto the seat, getting comfortable. “They’ll be ready in fifteen. Probably best if we get something in our stomachs besides tequila.”

“If I knew you were offering private jets and pancakes at four in the morning, I might have been an easier sell.” 

“What are you talking about? You hardly put up a fight.” She winked. 

“Whatever, you won fair and square. I’m just holding up my end of the deal.” Charlotte tucked her knees under her, relaxing into the chair as the plane ascended.

“We’ve got a couple hours back to New York. Eat, rest, and we’ll be there before you know it. If you aren’t up for meeting people when we land, I’ll sneak you to your room. You can socialize when you’re not coming off of an all-night bender.” 

“What, you don’t think I’d make a good first impression right now?” She joked, fully aware of her smeared eye makeup and tousled hair. 

“Au contraire, I think you’d make too good of an impression. I’m just trying to give the guys a fighting chance here.”

Giggles subsiding, Charlotte looked out the window at the pinpricks of light shrinking beneath them. The smell of pancakes and overly sweet syrup filled the air as a stewardess wheeled the food out towards them. 

“Natasha?” 

“Hm?”

“I’m glad you came.” 

She smiled, warmth extending to her eyes. 

“Me too.”  

[covid-safer-hotties]

Qld whooping cough cases skyrocket amid vaccine hesitancy - Published Aug 22, 2024

Another great reason to keep masking

Cases of a preventable disease have exploded 6900 per cent in Queensland, as parents continue to exhibit vaccine hesitancy

Queensland mothers-to-be are putting the lives of their babies at risk by failing to get vaccinated against deadly whooping cough.

Case numbers have exploded 6900 per cent, with 7000 already recorded so far this year – up from 100 in the same period last year.

It comes as vaccination rates in pregnancy drop from 77.2 per cent in 2020 to 70.7 per cent in 2023.

Health authorities are so concerned about the current epidemic they fear a baby will die from the disease, which starts with seemingly innocuous cold and flu symptoms.

The killer disease has shocking symptoms that leave infants fighting for breath and coughing so hard they can break ribs.

Australian Medical Association Queensland president Nick Yim said “anyone who has seen a baby struggling to breathe with whooping cough will never forget that sight”.

The devastating symptoms can last 100 days.

The alert comes amid rising vaccine hesitancy across Australia for many preventable diseases. Whooping cough is a cyclical disease that peaks every three to five years.

During the last peak in 2019, there were only 937 cases in Queensland – which has recorded 7000 cases this year for the same period.

When a pregnant woman is vaccinated, she protects the baby from whooping cough while in the womb and as a newborn.

The baby can be immunised themselves at six weeks old as part of the immunisation schedule.

Chief Health Officer John Gerrard said whooping cough was particularly severe in infants aged under six months and could be life-threatening.

“Remarkably, vaccinating pregnant women reduces the risk of babies contracting whooping cough by 75 per cent. We are committed t working closely with healthcare providers and expectant mothers to achieve high vaccination rates in this vulnerable group,” Dr Gerrard said.

Health Minister Shannon Fentiman said: “Vaccination during pregnancy is an effective way to protect babies until they are old enough to be vaccinated.

“This single action can dramatically reduce the risk of their baby contracting the potentially fatal disease.”

The pertussis, or whooping cough vaccine, is available for free under the National Immunisation Program during pregnancy, for children aged 2, 4, 6, and 18 months – and for adolescents aged 12-19 (inclusive). Boosters are recommended 10 years after vaccinations.

Naomi Gomez and Josh McDonald, of Chermside on Brisbane’s northside, have ensured their six- month-old son, Rohan, is immunised.

“I was aware of how vulnerable babies are to whooping cough before six weeks and the importance of getting the vaccine while I was pregnant to protect him as a newborn,” Ms Gomez said.

“It is incredibly important for anyone in contact with a newborn to have a booster shot. It’s so easily spread.”

[angel-chiarelli]

[ andrew garfield, cisgender man, he/him ] — spotted in the streets of brooklyn, it’s ANGELO 'ANGEL' CHIARELLI they have lived in the city for TEN YEARS, working as a BARTENDER AT RAINBOW RHYTHM and MUSIC PROFESSOR AT NYU. the 38 year old will probably be seen around BUSHWICK a lot, seeing as that’s where they live. people say they can be a bit FRIVIOLOUS and INDULGENT, but friends know them to be KIND and PASSIONATE. you know for sure you’ve found them when you’ve come across A PIANO BEING PLAYED IN A DISTANT ROOM, ITALIAN DISHES MADE FROM SCRATCH, FEELING ALONE IN A CROWDED ROOM. welcome to brooklyn, it’s been waiting for you!

basics

full name: angelo 'angel' luca chiarelli nicknames: angel age: 38 date of birth: october 13th, 1986 zodiac: libra sun, leo rising, libra moon gender & pronouns: cisgender man, he/him relationship status: single sexuality: homosexual spoken languages: english and italian(native language) occupation: bartender at rainbow rhythm, part-time music professor at nyu

appearance

face claim: andrew garfield height: 5'10"(177.80 cm) dominant hand: left hair color: brown eye color: brown distinguishing features: tbd tattoos: n/a

personality

positive traits: kind, understanding, intelligent, gentle, passionate negative traits: frivolous, impulsive, gullible, indulgent, envious

mentality

phobias: fear of being alone, fear of being forgotten disorders: depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder allergies: n/a

background

hometown: florence, italy birthplace: florence, italy education level: master’s in music

headcanons

moved to brooklyn after going through a pretty rough divorce with his now ex-wife. angel only married a woman because he knew it was what his parents wanted for him and he didn't have the courage to tell them that he's not attracted to women. the marriage was short-lived, having lasted for less than 5 years.

his bipolar disorder is undiagnosed, mostly because he hasn't been to a psychologist before. angel is aware to some degree that he tends to go through highs and lows(mania and depression), but chalks them up to feeling affected by whatever's going on in his life. when in a depressive period he's able to function, he just isn't as lively as usual and keeps to himself more. this is just the part he lets other people see about that aspect of himself, behind closed doors there's much more to it.

he observes and celebrates most jewish holidays because of his upbringing, as he comes from jewish heritage. angel makes it a point to travel back to italy every year for hannukah, it's important to him that he celebrates it with his family. growing up the significance of his culture and heritage wasn't lost on him, his family made it clear that it wasn't something to be taken lightly.

his parents own a vineyard in florence, which is part of why he chose to work as bartender at rainbow rhythmroom. while most of his knowledge about alcohol is limited to wine, angel has been spending recent months educating himself on liquor. he does enjoy some cocktails but holds a certain fondness for wine, specifically rosé

frequently throws extravagant parties because he enjoys being surrounded by people. it makes him feel less alone, which is a feeling he's struggled with for a lot of his life. only the closest of his friends would know that the parties he throws are his way of trying to get people to like him. when his home isn't full of intoxicated partygoers, he can be found playing piano, writing music, or writing poetry. despite what many might think, he's rather quiet in his down time. knows how to play piano and has a degree in music, but never pursued it as a career. angel considers music his true passion, it allows him to express feelings he doesn't know how to put into words. he doesn't necessarily want to perform, though he will on occasion for smaller get-togethers.

[limeade-l3sbian]

How do you cope with recovering from depression? It’s an odd question, no doubt, “why would I need to recover from getting better?”…

I’ve noticed when I’m not struggling with depression, the rare months or sometimes even a thankful year, I tend to have much higher suicidal tendencies. It’s like my energy and ability to look at life more rationally makes me less inclined to live. It’s probably a dumb thing to say, but when I’m going through depression, i’m too numb to make a plan for killing myself, but when I’m out of that suddenly I have all energy back and it seems possible, perhaps even easy.

I’m obviously trying to get out of this and I wonder if I’m alone in this experience. If this is something you or your followers deal with, what do you do in this situation?

Simply overcoming depression does at least not for me make me any more enthusiastic about life or the future. I want to reach a place where when the period of apathy passes i instead get lots of love for life.

You feel that way likely because the truth is there isn't any good reason to live. Greed and violence consume society. Women remain oppressed. Racism is still rampant. Death comes too quickly for those who cherish it and too slowly for those burdened by it. We could spend all night talking about how terrible the world is and I would agree with you because implying that the world is an inherently good place is bullshit.

However, implying that it is inherently a bad place is bullshit too.

I fully understand what you mean when you say it's almost worse when you're better because you can't even blame how you're feeling on the depression. I'm thinking clearly and I still want to die. Maybe this is just the truth. That's something I deal with every single day, anon. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about dying. I've told many professionals the exact same thing you're telling me and they all gave me half baked responses that I'd heard a million times and didn't want to hear one more time. The world is a very annoying and shitty place to me and, apparently, to you.

My greatest solace is two things. One: I know as little about what my future looks like as I do what comes after you die. But one suggests hope while the other ends my entire story. Regardless of what comes after death, you don't get a say in what happens now. Yeah, you could kill yourself tonight and you'd say "I don't care about what happens after I die" but of course you do. You're human. That's why your heart rate picks up when you REALLY think about killing yourself. It's not excitement. It's raw fear and your body goes into fight or flight against itself. What a terrible state to be in. What a terrible last feeling. You die, afraid.

But moving forward, despite all the bullshit is also scary too! Fuck. Paying taxes and bills? Finding love? What if I fuck it all up? Fuck, what if something terrible happens to me like I get assaulted or I get in a car accident at some point? Why would I stick around to let all this happen? From the ages of 10-12 I had a hard time sleeping because I was CERTAIN my family's home would be burglarized and I would be kidnapped, raped, and killed horrifically. That's a whole thing but just know that I thought that was a very real and very inevitable thing. And none of those things has ever happened to me, thankfully. Ever, anon. We never even got solicitors at our door, let alone a criminal through the window.

And you know what that was? Me not knowing jackshit about the future but predicating my disposition of life on my greatest fears. I thought I was gonna kill myself at 16 and then I didn't. I thought I was gonna kill myself at 18 and I didn't. You don't know shit, I don't know shit. None of us know SHIT. The future has far more to offer you than death, anon. In death, you die swallowed by your darkness. You push on, and you give yourself a chance.

Plus you're gonna die anyway. It's not like if you don't kill yourself now you'll live forever. If that was true, I would literally tell you to kill yourself because gross, no one (sane) wants to live forever.

Second thing! You're gonna die anyway (kinda spoiled that at the last bit but whatever). I truly take solace in the fact that I'm gonna die anyway. You might die tomorrow! You don't know! You could kill yourself (however you might plan that) and go through inevitable pain and fear. Or, you ride it out and get hit so fast and so hard by a bus next week that you never even register pain or fear. And you could argue that the more inhibited you live life (travel, try new things, meet new people, etc.) betters your chances of dying since staying inside only promises another day. So you might as well live freely and give the universe all the opportunities it has to kill you.

That's how I get on, anon, No bullshit.

There's no good reason to live because there is "no reason" to live. There's no reason to die either, so you might as well choose the one where you can eat honey buns and go on Tumblr and talk to awesome women like meeee. 💜💜💜

[chaoticyumelikes]

Soooo I saw this video on Youtube and I was immediately stuck in shipping Hell invested... So I made this fanfiction. Expect more soon...

Characters belong to:

Dr. Phantasmo - @fluffffpillow

Charlie - @jencilthepencil

The ghostly doctor is planning away his next big strategy when his AI T-oby tries to catch his attention.

"T-oby I am busy." warned the doctor while he was typing away possible scenarios.

"I know that doctor but..."

"Make it quick!"

"Remember the army you sent to deal with Charlie."

"Ah yes! How are they doing? The new armor making our little heroine's life a little harder?" he grinned.

"Ah.... They still haven't found her sir but ummmm.... Did youuuuu... Check the calendar before sending them by any chance...?"

"Wha--? It's a Tuesday what are you talking abou-" he grabbed the calendar on his desk and his face became completely devoid of all color. At the date there was a red circle. A circle he himself placed there just in case he would forget a very important fact. A fact that due to past experience and precise calculation he wished to avoid at all costs...

"Oh no..."

"I'm afraid so, doctor."

"Ok... So....? What are the chances of our army standing a chance with their new armor?" he smiled nervously.

"You do not want me to calculate the odds sir.... OH! She found them..! Projecting live feed."

The doctor winced as Charlie trashed every single one of his creations with an ease and rage never seen before.

Yes, the red circle around the date was extremely important for it was the particular time in the month that Charlie would be overcome with the same sensitive destructive force known to women which was a sure loss on the doctor's end.

And to make his lapse even worse... She was now looking at the camera, at him, and he knew....

She was coming over and with her...

A world of pain.

No, he would never ever forget to check the calendar ever again.

BONUS:

"PHANTASMO!?" Charlie points accusingly at the calendar. "WHY THE HECK DO YOU HAVE MY PERIOD ON YOUR SCHEDULE?!"

The doctor yells back inside a safe yet transparent room "OBVIOUSLY SAFETY!!!!!"

[magnoliamyrrh]

and at some point my therapist said, well listen, if you're going to be too fucked up to be independent, than you'll just live with your parents and that is it.. and i just fucking lost it in that moment

like, thats not on the list of things that's possible. yea, i could keep living with them, and work part time if im able or do some sort of thing to bring in some money. but thats not on the list of things that's a possibility

turns out two suicide attempts later and two deadly severe eating disorders later and therapy later and running away from home at least three times for weeks or months on end, by some miracle of god my family is no longer abusive. id still much rather kill myself than spend my life living with them though. i will never be able to truly breathe or be myself, not really, ever. what is the point of a life like that? i have spend the vast majority of my life that way, i do not want a lifetime of it more....

. ... and my parents and especially my stepfather have made it very clear that they are unwilling to do such a thing. even if i had some severe mental disorder theyd be unwilling to do such a thing. made it very clear id be a burden on them. they may have in recent years pity for the severity of my physical health issues, but i know damn well underneath that, itd be a fucking burden. even with all the household help i could possibly do, even bringing in some money, id be a burden and in the way. theyd and especially my stepfather would never stop resenting me, seeing me as nothing more than a failure, or some pathetic thing which needs too much and cant give enough in return. id be ruining their retirement too, anyway, and they deserve better than having me as a burden

.... thats not a damn option here

and my grandmother who raised me, very similar situation. absolutely suffocating, and she wont take me in long term anyway, and even if i work part time ill never stop hearing the end of how much of a failure and shame i am - not like i dont hear that now

...and my other grandparents, they likely would. they would drive me insane too, theyre controlling as all hell. and id have to deal with being around my father at least every once in awhile, which sounds far faar from pleasant.... but they need help in their old age, and they would welcome having me around at least...... but i dont know how much of an option that is, either

....and what - live with a friend, get married even? thats never going to happen. by this point i should get it well in my head, im going to be single for a lifetime. i refuse to be a burden on anyone like that, anyone deserves better than someone whose already with this many issues at only 23. and most people arent exactly in the best economic situation to have someone around who cant work themselves to the bone. and those who do have that economic situation - lets say there are women who would want a housewife;; any woman deserves better than one which is already sick by this age though, who has periods of being damn near dysfunctional, who is so fragile. it would be selfish and cruel and stupid to let anyone ever be with me

....... and so, what exactly am i left with here, in the likely case i actually cant find some sort of superhuman strengh which 98% of people with this condition cant find to get some sort of decent paying job and have independence?...... ? because spending my life being a fucking burden on others isnt what i want to do. and sure i dont have this mentality when it comes to other disabled people, but i do with me. its not something i want...... so.. what exactly? ..... see if the orthodox nuns will take me in? see if some other religious sect from somewhere will take me in? ..... kill myself and be done with all this?

better perhaps anyway, for my parents to have a dead daughter than one that burdens and disappoints them for an entire lifetime

[hotpinkboots]

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY!!!

I'm gonna scream it and shout it from the top of my lungs today! Women are WONDERFUL.

We go through pain and discomfort every single month, we carry children, we birth children, we are expected to not only be a good mother, which is hard enough- raising a human into the world. But we are also expected to clean the house, cook the food, get jobs and make money, but to also deal with the everyday thing a woman deals with everyday already. Perverted looks from men, feeling smaller because we are women, feeling like we're less, even things as small as grocery shopping, it's hard- not only that, but we're called unclean if we don't shave, or are thought of as gross when we talk about our periods.

If we don't have clear skin, we're looked at as imperfect. We're expected to have a small waist and big tits, pretty thighs and a perky ass. We're taught to PICK. APART. OUR OWN. BODIES. To fit today's "standards".

"Don't wear that, you look like a slut. Don't wear that, you're not showing enough skin, you look like a prude. You can't wear that, people will be perverts. You're not wearing enough makeup. You're wearing too much makeup. You have too much acne. Your skin is too clear, it doesn't look natural. Don't drink, you could get drunk and get the wrong attention from men. Why don't you have a drink? Don't be boring. When are you having kids- you're pregnant already?? Whore. You're too fat, have a salad. You're too thin, have a burger. Oh, your knees hurt? What'd you do last night? You're still a virgin?"

THESE ARE ALL DISGUSTING, COMMON THINGS THAT A WOMAN HEARS EVERYDAY OF HER LIFE.

The work of a woman NEVER ends.

We need to be PROUD of being women. We need to stick together and RAISE EACH OTHER UP. Women need to be there for each other. I'm there for EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU. If YOU are a woman and you want to come talk with me about your problems no matter WHAT THEY ARE, COME TALK TO ME. I have NOTHING but endless support and love for my fellow women, I LOVE us, and I'm so PROUD OF HOW FAR WE'VE COME.

Women are so powerful and amazing. On this day, not only do you need to honor all the amazing women around you and in history, but you need to honor YOURSELF, girl. YOU are amazing. YOU deserve to be lifted up and praised and honored. YOU deserve all the love in the world.

I'm proud of you. I love you. I love women. I thank all the strong women around the world that I look up to for forming me into the strong, passionate woman I am today.

Thank you.