#woah introspective art

[heyitsnyixie]

Looking Forward to Looking Back

sHe would be shocked by looking forward

sHe had no idea who that man was

It was a reverence with which he looked back

A simple child, knowledge sHe lacked.

He grew to love who he was.

sHe will grow into someone sHe does.

[phoenix-downer]

Be Our Guest

Summary: Sora, Kairi, Roxas, and Naminé visit Beast’s Castle together to pay a visit to old friends of Sora’s. But to their surprise, things have changed a lot since Sora and Roxas last visited…

2250 words. Sora/Kairi and Roxas/Naminé. Set post-KH3. Features appearances from Beauty and the Beast characters. Romance, Fluff, Dancing, Humor, Slight Angst, Introspection. Includes descriptions of delicious food, fancy outfits, and elegant balls. POV Third Person Omniscient.

Written for @twosidesfanzine. Leftover sales are now open: https://twosideszine.bigcartel.com/

The banner and spot art is by the amazing @luxmoogle ! Please check out her main piece for the zine as well, it's fantastic ❄️ and while you're there, check out her other art, costume design work, comics, and AUs, it's all incredible ❤️

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Nestled in a peaceful wood, a soaring castle of red, white, and gold peeked through the trees. Fluttering flags and angelic marble sculptures decorated the castle as well as exquisite stained glass murals that told the story of its inhabitants: a selfish prince, a curse spoken, a red rose, a curse broken.

Four visitors exited a strange, colorful ship from another world and set across the long path leading to the castle.

“Woah, this place looks really…different,” Sora commented, noting the cheerful exterior and vibrant decorations of the castle. He turned to Roxas. “You’ve been here before too, right?”

“Yeah. I don’t remember it looking so…pretty.” His brow furrowed. “It was dark and spooky more than anything. Granted, I wasn’t exactly a welcome guest. I was sent here on missions for the Organization, so I snuck around a lot.”

Naminé gave his hand a sympathetic squeeze. “This time will be different, you’ll see.” She was very determined that the two of them should enjoy their lives now that they were their own people.

“I wonder what happened,” Kairi said as the castle loomed closer. “It definitely seems different from what you’ve told us, Sora.”

“But a good different. I hope Beast and Belle are okay. Lumiere, Cogsworth, Mrs. Potts, and Chip too…”

Kairi’s expression softened. “You miss them, don’t you?”

He smiled and reached for her hand. “I missed all my friends. It’s good to be back.”

At last they reached the main entrance. As Sora lifted a hand to knock, however, the double doors burst open, and their group had to scramble backwards to avoid being smacked in the face, Sora especially.

Before them was a young woman with rich brown hair and warm eyes, and with her was a prince with reddish hair and striking blue eyes. Belle immediately enveloped Sora in a big hug.

“Sora! It’s so good to see you!” She leaned back, her face lighting up as she spotted who was with him. “And Kairi, what a wonderful surprise!” She hugged Kairi next, and the two girls smiled and laughed, enjoying their reunion.

“Welcome back, Sora,” the prince said, and Sora titled his head. The prince was with Belle…something about the way he talked reminded Sora of an old friend…And most of all, his eyes seemed awfully familiar…

Sora’s eyes went wide. “Beast? You’re human?”

The (former) Beast nodded. “Belle broke the curse.” He turned to his wife and smiled.

“Only at the last possible moment,” she said, a touch of anguish in her voice as she reached for his hand. “If only I’d known sooner.”

“What’s important is that we’re together now,” he replied, gently resting his hand over hers.

The lovestruck way the happy couple was looking at each other made Sora’s heart melt, and he sighed and glanced at Kairi. But when their eyes met, a pained expression flickered across her face, and she ducked her head. He frowned. Was something wrong? He’d have to ask her later.

He turned back to their hosts. “If you’re not a beast anymore, then what should we call you?”

“You can call me Adam.” He looked to Roxas and Naminé, who until now had kept a polite distance as Sora and Kairi reunited with their old friends. “And who are our other guests?”

“My name is Naminé,” Naminé said, touching a hand to her chest. “Thank you for having us.” She had seen this place before in Sora’s memories, but it was nice to be here in person. Especially because the castle was so different now. Full of light and life instead of shrouded in shadow and sadness.

Roxas fidgeted and cleared his throat. “And I’m…Um, my name is Roxas. I…uh, I don’t think you remember this, but this isn’t my first time here. I…snuck around before, helping the Organization…”

Sora cringed at Roxas’s honesty, waiting for one of Beast’s famous tempers, especially given how Xaldin had tormented the poor Beast. But instead Prince Adam smiled amiably. “Roxas, it’s nice to finally meet you.”

He really had changed, and Sora was glad to see it.

“And no more sneaking around,” Belle chided, “you’re our guests!”

With that the four of them were led inside the castle, and Sora’s eyes lit up when he saw more of his old friends in the foyer, in human form instead of their cursed forms. “Lumiere? Mrs. Potts? Cogsworth! And you must be Chip.” He grinned and ruffled Chip’s messy hair, then hugged the rest of his old friends.

“How would you all like a nice spot of tea?” Mrs. Potts offered.

“No no no, forget tea!” Lumiere said, waving his arms. “These are our guests! We must put on a show.”

“Don’t overdo it,” Cogsworth muttered, his mustache twitching as he fiddled with his pocket watch. “Remember last time when you—”

Lumiere ignored Cogsworth and grabbed Naminé’s hand. “Cherie, come with me,” he said, kissing her hand. Naminé’s eyes went wide and she looked to Kairi, who smiled and nodded to reassure her. Lumiere led her through the castle halls and the others followed close behind till at last they reached the banquet hall. Naminé was seated at the grand table once Fifi had dusted her chair, and Sora, Kairi, and Roxas soon joined her. Roxas shot Lumiere a look and inched his chair closer to Naminé, making Sora and Kairi snicker.

The court musicians played the music, Lumiere sang, and the four guests watched, awestruck, as a culinary cabaret unfolded before their very eyes. Plate after plate of food was wheeled out as their hosts entertained them, and the four of them tried all the dishes, desserts, and delicacies that were offered. Their favorite were these divine tartlets with apples cut into the shape of roses on top—a touching reference to the enchanted rose that had once dwelled in the castle. They were perfectly warm and just the right combo of crispy on the outside and pillowy soft on the inside.

Sora asked the chef for the recipe, determined to make them later on himself, perhaps with Little Chef, too.

After dinner, Mrs. Potts offered tea, and once the guests’ stomachs had settled, the servants whisked them away to prepare for a ball. Madame Armoire showed Kairi and Naminé dress after dress, but in the end it was Belle who suggested a periwinkle dress with a hoop skirt for Naminé and a magenta one for Kairi with matching elbow-length gloves for each girl. Their hair was swept back into elegant updos, and Belle helped them choose tasteful jewelry that matched their dresses.

The boys likewise got ready with Adam, Lumiere, and Cogsworth’s help, donning tailored coats, vests, breeches, and knee-length boots.

“Do I look stupid?” Roxas muttered, casting a doubtful look in the mirror. He’d never looked so…frilly. He wore a gray vest with gold embroidery, and in his opinion, there were way too many ruffles poking out of his clothes.

“Nah, and besides, this is all part of the fun,” Sora said. “Fitting in. Being a part of their world.” He wore a red vest with gold embroidery, and he adjusted his frilly lace collar.

“You’re a lot better at this than me,” Roxas noted.

“I’ve had a lot more experience, and I didn’t have to hide like you did. C’mon, let’s go see the girls.”

Sora, Roxas, and Adam approached from their set of stairs, and a moment later, Kairi, Naminé, and Belle appeared at their set of stairs. The boys’ mouths dropped open, and the girls smiled sweetly.

“I never knew getting so dressed up could be this fun,” Naminé admitted as they glided down the stairs, and Kairi smiled and squeezed her hand.

“I’m glad you’re having fun. After everything you’ve been through, after all the people you’ve helped, you deserve to unwind a little.”

As the two groups convened on the intermediate landing, Sora bowed to Kairi and she curtsied to him.

He offered his arm. “May I have this dance?”

She smiled and looped her arm through his. “Yes.”

Roxas tried to mimic what Sora had done but felt he messed up the bow somehow. Naminé still smiled and took his offered arm, and together they descended the red velvet stairs after Sora and Kairi. Belle and Adam followed after them, and before long the three couples were waltzing in the ballroom to soaring strings, the beautiful glass windows revealing the starry night surrounding them.

Kairi and Naminé thought it was the most picturesque, romantic place they could spend with Sora and Roxas, Sora smiled like a kid on Christmas now that he was dancing with Kairi like he’d dreamed, and Roxas was trying to make sure he didn’t step on Naminé’s silken heel-clad feet. But when she rested her head against his chest, his nerves slipped away and he couldn’t help but smile.

After a few songs, Belle and Adam took a break for tea and Sora and Kairi slipped out to the balcony, leaving Roxas and Naminé to themselves. Their first couple of dances had been a little awkward as they figured out their footing, but now they were gliding along with ease.

“What’s on your mind?” Naminé asked, her voice soft and sweet as they twirled to the music.

“The last time I was here, things were different. There was so much I didn’t know. I couldn’t get why the Beast, I mean Adam, was so protective of Belle because I didn’t understand what love is.”

“And now?” Naminé asked as Roxas carefully led her into a spin.

He smiled as she returned to his arms. “Well, I met you. That answer your question?”

She laughed softly. “Yes. And I know what you mean. When I was in Castle Oblivion, I was so lonely.” She glanced towards the balcony and the gardens where their friends were taking a stroll. “I wanted what Sora and Kairi have, and I thought I could take it for myself. But love has to be freely given, so I was alone again.” She looked at Roxas and smiled. “Then I met you, and everything changed.”

“Yeah. Thank you, Naminé, for finding me in the darkness.”

“Thank you, Roxas, for seeing me.”

They continued their dance, both feeling like they were floating amongst the clouds. The massive marble pillars lining the ballroom, grand gold chandelier lit with dozens of candles overhead, and ornate ceiling decorated with murals of smiling cherubs set against a baby-blue sky made everything feel magical. Neither of them ever wanted this moment to end.

As the two of them twirled away, Sora and Kairi sat on the balcony together outside, the stars twinkling in the sky like diamonds.

“What’s on your mind?” Sora asked, unable to take his eyes off of her. “I noticed you were sad earlier, when Adam and Belle greeted us.”

The music from the ballroom floated towards them. “Prince Adam is human again because Belle broke his spell,” Kairi said at last. “But you still have to live with your curse.”

He tilted his head. “My curse? Oh, do you mean my Heartless form?”

She nodded. “At first it was just a Shadow, but it’s only gotten bigger and stronger. I can’t help but think that…maybe, if you didn’t have to save me, you never would’ve gotten split in two like that.” Her face betrayed the sorrow and regret she’d kept locked inside for so long.

“As if abandoning you was ever an option,” he said, his voice breaking as he reached for her hands. They were together again, but the scars from their separations remained, and the gesture brought them both comfort. “If this is a curse, it’s a small price to pay to have you by my side. Besides, I don’t see it like that. If anything, it’s a reminder of what you mean to me.”

She searched his face. As far as they both knew, his condition was permanent. And yet he saw it not as a beastly curse he’d have to live with for the rest of his life but as a symbol of how much he loved her.

“Then…that’s how I’ll see it too,” she promised. If he could see the good in it, then so would she.

He caressed her face. “Good. And you did break the spell, Kairi. You saved me. Turned me human again.” He gently stroked her hair, and her face flushed, her heart thudding in her chest.

“I couldn’t just leave you like that,” she said, barely above a whisper. “Not after what you did for me.”

“I know. And look at all the good that’s come from it.” He glanced towards the ballroom. “Roxas and Naminé exist because of us.”

Kairi’s expression softened. “That’s true, and I couldn’t be more grateful for them.”

“And I couldn’t be more grateful for you. For what we share,” he said, a tender smile on his face.

She returned his smile and cupped his cheek. “I feel the same.”

He melted into her touch, savoring this moment they’d worked so hard to create. Their long separations made every second spent together that much sweeter.

Presently, they rejoined their friends at the ball. As the four of them danced in the grand ballroom, they smiled and exchanged happy glances.

What a wonderful way to celebrate Sora being back with them, safe and sound. To celebrate Roxas and Naminé being alive and Kairi being whole. And what a perfect way for the two couples to spend an evening with their loved ones.

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A/N: A big, big thank you to everyone who made the Two Sides Volume 2 zine possible! I really enjoyed modding the project and working with you all. It was wonderful seeing all the love and passion for SoKai and RokuNami and sampling the delicious recipes ❤️ You seriously went above and beyond to help make this project something really special, and I'm so proud of what we accomplished together. Thank you also to everyone who bought the zine and supported the charity Feeding America, we couldn't have done it without you ❤️

Now, for my list of specific thank yous: thank you to @advocaado for creating the beautiful, delicious apple tart recipe recipe that inspired the story and the art ❤️ You coming aboard really made such a big difference and helped us do six more recipes, and I really appreciate that ❤️

Also, thank you to @scoobysnack1107 and @angel-with-a-pipette for reading over the story for me and offering feedback and suggestions ❤️ a big thank you as well to Hadai, Ao, Light, Hinata, Melisa, Razu, and Dusky for reading and commenting on the story too ❤️

And a big, big thank you to @luxmoogle​ for collaborating with me and drawing the beautiful banner and spot art 🥺 ❤️ I adore the costume designs you did for the characters, they all look amazing and coordinate perfectly together, and you really did your research when it came to the fashion in Beauty and the Beast ❤️ You also beautifully brought so many moments from the story to life. I especially love the final spot that shows the two couples enjoying their time together ❤️ It was the perfect way to depict that part of the story ❤️

Last but not least, thank you all for reading! Beauty and the Beast is such a special movie to me with so many happy memories associated with it, so it was a joy to write about it for this project. A lot has happened in my life since we started this zine, and it was really nice to come back to this story again and again to get my mind off of all of that.

Some notes on my writing process this time around. I really wanted to draw on the themes of the movie as well as the KH characters’ arcs in creating this story. So first of all, in the KH2 credits, you see that Adam/Beast is human again, so I knew I had to work with that and all of the changes that would bring to Beast’s Castle. Then, Sora and Kairi's part came to me very quickly given how Sora has a “beast” form of his own—Rage Form/Anti-Form. I asked myself how he and Kairi would deal with that moving forward, given how it seems to be pretty permanent even though Kairi “broke” his spell the moment she turned him human again back in KH1, and that's how I wrote their arc in this story.

Then, with Roxas and Naminé, I remembered Roxas's character arc in Days and spent a lot of time re-watching the cutscenes and dialogue from that part of the game to inform his characterization in this story. I wanted to show how he would act now that he understands why the Beast acted the way he did, now that he knows what love is. And with Naminé, it was nice to draw on her experiences in Chain of Memories and how she's changed since then and is now getting to go on the kinds of adventures she only ever saw in other people’s memories before.

Also, it was fun referencing some of the big moments in the movie, like the ball, the dancing, the conversation on the balcony under the stars. And then of course I couldn’t write a Beauty and the Beast story featuring food without name-dropping Be Our Guest in the title lol.

Thank you again everyone! ❤️

[toorurii]

hey, im the anon who asked that last question. my mistake that it ended up coming off rude in any way, i was just genuinely curious since i was thinking, 'woah, disabled ppl would look splendid in this person's art style' since i tend to see ur cool oc designs pop up from time to time, but i do understand how that might have come off & i apologize for that >_>; im just happy to see more proper disabled rep in general

Oooh no worries at all! And my bad that I took it in a different way 😅 I was a little unsure of the intentions w/ the ask but It definitely still was a wonderful thing to discuss / talk abt (esp w/ introspection on my end) I’m super flattered you see my art and style in that light though 🥹🩷

[metadow-propaganda-machine]

*buzzes like an engine* Hi Tes, it's lamniform from Ao3. For the Q&A: What inspired you to write ID in Alt? What made you wanna make it metadow out of all things? (metadow is pog for the record) Btw I'm trying to re-read the latest chapters because you churn them out faster than I was able to collect my thoughts to comment and I have THOUGHTS to comment. I think that's really cool!!! You're putting out so much so fast omg

one of the biggest inspirations for this fic was actually a completely unrelated fic on ffnet called Iron Oxide - i really recommend it! its metonic and its super good, but it inspired me to try writing something for a niche pair like metadow with similar elements. introspective thrillers are something i really enjoy both reading and writing so its been fun to see what i can do with the pairing! i also really wanted to make a sort of family drama between metal and the other robot sonics, since i thought different perspectives on what it was like to BE a sonic clone would be really fun to incorporate

as for metadow specifically, i think one day i was just randomly looking at metal sonic pictures because i was looking for art references and i happened to stumble across screencaps of rivals 2. i had no idea shadow and metal were paired up in that game as partners!! but it sort of just hit me: woah, these guys REALLY work well together thematically?? and that was how i came to ship metadow lmaoo

[helenawa-art]

aaah for gl recommendations, I really love Nevermore on webtoon! the art is gorgeous and the worldbuilding is so cool. the characters are all innteresting and compelling, and though the gl romance is central to the plot, the plot is a lot more complex than just that. aaah its so good and addictive.

there's also Not So Shoujo Love Story, which, while more focused on the romance than Nevermore, does a really good job of developing its characters amd not taking itself too seriously. its a really good balance of silliness and genuine character development and introspection. its really fun, i really like it!

i also really like PaperTeeth! the artstyle is so crunchy, and i adore the character design. its currently on hiatus because its going to be an webtoon original, but the episodes out thus far are like. so worth the read.

anyways i hope you find at least one of these to ur liking... have a nice day (　＾▽＾)

Woah thank you a lot for your recommendations!!!! I also saw your other ask talking about paperteeth so I'll look after it when it's released!!!🥰

[ellstersmash]

Three: Fifteen

Fandom: Dragon Age

Pairing: Solas x f!Lavellan (Modern!AU)

Rating: overall E for Explicit | this chapter T for Teen

|Previous Chapter| |Next Chapter| |Read on AO3|

--

    [  Results were inconclusive. Again. Any last-minute suggestions?  ]

Athi reads the message from Solas, then reads it again. Is ready to send back [???] but her phone buzzes again before she has the chance.

    [  Apologies. That was not intended for you.   ]

She smirks—

no shit

—deletes her question, taps out a response.

    [  :* i miss u too   ]

    [  oop sry. wrong #   ]

    [  Ha Ha.   ]

    [  sry bout ur results :(   ]

    [  Thank you. What are you doing today?  ]

“That Solas?” Sera says, not bothering to look up from her unbroken line of yellow glitter glue. “Tell him to suck it.”

    [  arts n crafts   ]

Athi snaps a quick picture of the mess they’ve made in their living room and sends it to him.

    [  sera says suck it   ]

    [  Of course she does.  ]

“He says hi.”

Sera gags dramatically. “Thought you wanted to help with all this, not flirt with your boyfriend.”

A snotty retort itches behind Athi’s teeth but she stifles it. Rolls her eyes instead and tosses her phone aside, the device bouncing once to rest face-down on the sofa cushion. She picks up a thick black marker with pungent permanent ink, and gets back to work filling in the block letters Sera lined earlier.

Her boyfriend. Gods, but that sounds strange. Childish. Like they go on dates behind the primary school, or pretend not to be having sex in the room down the hall from someone's parents’. And yet she finds herself giddy at the thought. To be fair, it’s all she has for the moment. The thought. He's off on some adventure, and she's stuck here. Again. They'd only had that one perfect day, breakfast and window shopping and holding hands like real life lovers under trees full of dry rainbow leaves fluttering their applause. And then he took a phone call and went home to pack and left first thing in the morning.

She wonders just how often this happens.

How important could it be? Not like a bunch of ancient artifacts are going to up and wander off if he can’t go poke at them right away. A mental note to ask him later, and she moves this poster to the pile of finished ones and exchanges it for another that says “YOUR VILLAGE —> OUR CITY.” Cute, though maybe a smidge too reliant on humans knowing their history.

“Sure you don’t want to come?” Sera asks.

“That’s not—” Athi sighs. “I told you, I have work.”

“Yeah, but isn’t this more important?”

“I don’t know. Do you want rent paid?”

Sera quiets, kicking her legs back and forth as she works. Her glue bottle sputters, spits shimmer all over. A frustrated grunt and she tosses it aside, rolls onto her back.

“I’m just saying you should care is all. ‘S not going to get any better if nobody makes noise, and nobody’s making it for us.”

“Us?" Athi scoffs. "When we met, you said—and I quote—‘So glad you’re not one of those elfy elves.’”

“Yeah, well, therapy’s all right. Besides, it’s not for elves, or not just. It’s for whoever gets stepped on. That means us.”

“I didn’t know you were in therapy.” 

“Maybe I don’t tell you everything," Sera mutters. “Thought of that?”

Athi caps her marker and lays it down. It’s just a feeling, but it's nagging. Persistent. Like and yet unlike the one she still gets when her papae calls her by her full name. Isalathena Sulahnera Lavellan, come here this instant, and it’s heavy on her chest, sitting right on top of her breastbone. Guilty, but she's not.

“What’s wrong?” she asks. Throws it out there before the feeling gets stale and she decides it's something she can live with.

“Nothing.”

“Right, ok, except for it’s not, so come on. Let's get it out and over with.”

Sera sits up, blonde hair sticking out in a couple new directions. “What’s your problem?”

“You! You’ve been acting weird all week, Ser. Haven’t come in for lunch or been home at night, responded to texts—”

“If you think I want to be in the next room while you and—”

“Oh, so you have a problem with Solas? That was one—”

“No!” Sera groans in frustration. “I mean, yeah, he is kind of old, and talks about old stuff a lot, and he’s all”—she straightens her spine into an uncomfortable posture, then slouches again—“but I like him well enough.”

"Then what?"

Sera stares at her hands for a while. Then out the window. Then at the wall. Then back at her hands. Athi’s patience is thin on a good day, and it takes a lot of willpower to keep quiet as Sera opens her mouth and closes it again, false start after false start.

Finally, Sera blurts out: “I want to ask Dagna to move in.”

Athi has no idea what she was expecting, but not that. Searching for some way to relate it to her own behavior, to justify her feeling or shove it aside, she takes so long to form a response that Sera begins to fidget.

“You what?” she asks at last, thoroughly stumped.

“I want to ask Dagna—”

“Yeah, I…” Athi tries to catch up, shuffles through the past month as best as she can in the pause between. “Here?”

Sera squints at her like she's stupid, but that's fair. It was a stupid thing to say. 

“No, my mother's. Yes here!” 

“I’m sorry, I didn't realize you two were dating again. What’s it been, a year since you broke up?” 

“Yeah. You were out at your friend’s place. Better you missed the makeup sex, though, yeah? More room for fun.” 

At first Sera’s cheeky grin has Athi smiling too. It’s a relief to talk about someone else’s shit instead of her own, but then Sera glances toward the couch and—

Oh.

Oh gods, she wouldn’t have . . . would she?

Athi gets up for a glass of water, makes it two at Sera’s request. Sits cross-legged on the coffee table when she comes back. Just to be safe.

“Isn’t it a bit fast?” she asks.

“Maybe. Doesn’t feel fast, though. If you add 'em all up it's been like, a few years or something, so it sort of works out to normal. If you think about it.”

“I guess.”

Sera empties her glass in one go. “Her lease is up next month,” she says.

Athi nods. “Right. So soon, then. Um… and if it doesn’t work out?” She leaves out the again, but it’s implied.

“But that’s why I should do it! See, I keep losing her because I’m not in. She was serious about us, but I kept messing around. Don’t even know why, really.” She looks on the edge of losing her momentum, halfway to introspection, then snaps back into the room. “But therapy! So this time, like Wicked Grace, right? I’m all in and she’ll see I mean it. And then it’ll work out.”

Her logic isn’t quite flawed but it’s far from perfect. Still, friends don't tell friends to be afraid. Especially when those friends have clearly put a lot of thought into their dynamic-altering life-changing decisions. So Athi drops the questions.

“Wow,” she says instead. “I didn’t know you felt that way about her.”

Sera shifts into soft focus and smiles, a faraway look in her eyes. “Me either.”

She seems so certain. Satisfied, and happy. Really, truly happy. And it’s kind of fucking beautiful.

Feeling overcome for no good reason, Athi goes back to her task. Long thick careful black lines, then short ones. She marks a pattern with them to make it less work and more play. Not that anyone will see unless they’re trying. And as she makes the spaces solid, a thought occurs to her.

“So,” she says, bright. Like it’s no big deal. “Do you want me to move out?”

“What? No! Course not. Why would you say that?”

There’s no time to answer. After so much silence, Sera bubbles over with unused conversation. 

“I mean, do you want to move out? You’re not moving in with Solas are you? Gross. Definitely too fast for that one. Bet he wants to get married first, in a chantry and everything. Is he Andrastian, do you know? Where is he, anyway? He travels a lot for work, right? Must be nice. Wonder if his job pays for it. Is he gone now?”

Too many questions, so Athi answers the last one.

“Yeah. Flies in late tonight. He’s picking me up after work.”

Sera snorts. “What, picking you up? So you wouldn’t get up to take him in, huh? Good girl. Stay strong. Trust me, you drive him once and you're in for forever.”

“No, he didn’t even ask. Figured he’d take a cab or something, but I guess he drove himself.”

“And paid for parking? What’s he, loaded?”

Athi grins and crosses her fingers.

“Real nice. I’m serious, Ath, that’s some weird psychopath shit. Nobody drives their own self to the airport. No one who has friends, anyway.”

"I think he's just used to being alone.”

“Way to make it sad.”

"Alone doesn't mean sad."

"It kind of is though. But then, he’s got people, right? Like Varric, and, well... I don’t know. People.”

Athi shrugs. “Habits can be hard to break, especially when you’re not trying.”

“Ooh. Very wise today."

"Shut up."

"I mean it!"

She doesn’t tell Sera about the other things. The books covering all his furniture. The busted bathroom door that he removed rather than replaced. The singular coaster on his side table. The way he forgets to be hospitable, then overcorrects, asks her if she needs anything three times in a row. His house, his life, is not prepared for the presence of others. Not meant to host company or take in strays or accommodate a lover, meant for him and his needs and his convenience and no more.

And she’s honestly not sure if that makes her an exception or an intruder.

--

“Woah.”

The door slams shut behind her. Very nearly catches her in the ass but she happened to freeze just beyond its reach.

The place is gutted. Or maybe it's not? Ceiling and walls are fine and nothing she can place is missing, tables and chairs and bottles of booze all present and accounted for, but it looks fucking empty. And clean, though she can’t tell if that’s real or just the lack of tasteless decor.

“I know, right?” Tali dumps a bucket of ice in the bin with the rest. “It was like this when I showed up today.”

Athi drifts in slow, perturbed by the smell of cleaning solution and the lack of clutter. Hangs her purse on the coat rack just inside the office, her jacket on top of that. Pulls her hair back, ties her apron, washes her hands.

“Were we robbed?” she asks, only half joking.

“Technically, that would be a burglary.”

“Were we burglarized?”

“You know,” Tali says, “If someone broke in just to take those awful knick-knacks and creepy pictures Seggrit had up, I say more power to ‘em. Enjoy your ghosts, thief!"

Athi giggles. “Worst was the cabin.”

“Are you kidding? I couldn’t even look at that family one. The kid’s vacant stare, blessed Andraste, I wanted to flip it around every time I walked in that door. And you know that cat had seen things. I mean, did Seggrit know them? Why were they on our wall?”

"Somebody had to keep an eye on us."

"And make sure we weren't flirting with tall handsome customers in the back alley?" Tali grins, tongue stuck out between her teeth.

"Why? You make that a habit too?"

Tali wrings out and refolds her bar towel. “Ok, sweetie. Keep your secrets. I'll get my details one day."

"Anyway." Athi gestures at the naked walls. "Change!"

"Right. It was Seggie for sure. He was here when I came in. Must have dealt with all that crap this morning, though I couldn't say what he did with all of it. Or why. Oh! And he left that.”

Tali reaches back and raps a knuckle on the fridge where a sheet of paper hangs. Athi slides it out from under the magnet. Scans its contents. Flips it writing-side-out toward Tali.

“The fuck is this?”

“A cleaning list.”

“I can see that. Seggrit made it?”

“Either that or your writer pal is moving in for real.”

“And that’s not strange to you? That he cares?”

Tali shrugs one shoulder. “Maybe he’s decided to rejuvenate this place. You know? Spruce it up, invest a little time, maybe hire some better bartenders.”

“Hey, don't sell yourself short."

"Bold of you to assume I meant myself."

“This is weird, though. Right?" She reads off the paper. "Sweep out back? Deep-clean the office? Dust the brick wall? Tali, most of these have nothing to do with anything. Where are the temp checks? Or the fucking tap lines? Or, you know, any of the shit we should actually be doing?"

“Beats me, babe. I'm just glad he's getting involved. You should’ve seen him whirling around here earlier. Something seems to have lit a fire under his rear-end.”

Another feeling, but she can't place this one. It all fits together somehow, or should. The list and the bare walls and the lack of fire hazards. Chewing on the puzzle, Athi picks a task at random, takes a spray bottle and a coffee filter to the windows. Even free of five years’ grime and in full sun, they don’t illuminate much. But that’s all right. The list says clean, and they are definitely that.

[purgatoryandme]

(Sorry this is gonna be long) I went through your entire letter by the water tag (sorry for spamming your notifs) and you have me blown away!!! The contrast between the realism of it being set during WW2 and the mystical, fantasy-horror of Ophelia, merchant of death, extremis etc. You mix the fantastical so so well with the nitty gritty of war with the bad bad mental health of all included, the intrigue, the mystery of it kills me.

(continued) the dynamics between Tony and bucky, peggy and Steve are just so realistic and the the way the howlies w stevetony are this figures of hope? During a time of revolution and change and violence as they carry pieces (The significance of art here kills me) of people's soul to show that they existed! Lw reminds me of IM, the intensity of your writing and the pacing n layering makes it read like an epic (w one definitive goal but small stories dozens of layers). It's, just, vey good (3/3) I won't even start about the plot n else bc that would actually kill me but also if you decide to not work on Lw is there any way you can collect the snippets on tumblr n post it on ao3 bc tumblr is finnicky at best and I don't wanna loose what you've created!! Thanks for being you and creating something literally so amazing!! I'm really sorry for the long ask and my English (it's not my first language)

Woah, thank you! Never be sorry about long messages! God, yeah, I fucking love the contrast between realism and fantasy in LW and it’s why it’s pretty much my favourite AU. WWII is such a heavily explored topic that like...often lacks any real introspection into the human element of both the suffering and LIFE that occurred during it (with obvious exceptions - a lot of biographies get into it, as do Jewish authors, but by and large published works tend to focus on the military elements and sheer scale/horror of things in a way that reads as voyeuristic or oddly detached). I was reading a really great historical fantasy book that dealt with a post-WWII Europe that was being torn apart between Japan and Germany with these magical elements that really...idk, allowed the true humanism of events to shine through with symbolism and ideas that are easier to connect to than just sheer grit?? And then two months later I was thinking on Civil War and a bunch of Tony meta and techno-fantasy (Extremmmmiiiiiiisssssssss), then boom! Letter by the Water just took me over for a few months.  Tony being a child in it wasn’t even the original intent, but once the idea blindsided me I just couldn’t let it go. Getting back into those blurring lines between realism and fantasy, SO MANY children were involved in war in ways that are intensely difficult to grasp - in a way, they were all forced to become adults (either through work, through losing parents, or simply living under martial law). Tony being a living breathing symbol of that? Tony HATING that? It literally being a symbol of his regression? AHHHHHH. Genuinely an element that blew my mind and I never would have thought of if not for Guilt For Dreaming by Vetinari on AO3 (this fic has time travel Tony with like...a lot of genuine limitations of being a child and magical realism and oihdiuashjdnasjk - it’s a VERY GOOD Tony fic). Ophelia is his foil in so many ways and I absolutely adore her being a teenager - hanging just on the cusp of adulthood but never EVER making it there despite being (maybe) older than them all.  I find the Howlies endlessly fascinating and am really disappointed that Marvel never went further with them. They’re this mixed race, mixed country regiment with wildly different skillsets and that’s ???? so interesting? They are normal men (and women bc Peggy ALWAYS should’ve been more involved with them) who kept up with Captain America!!!! They literally represented no country (despite Steve’s hero name) and were just this symbol of liberation - screw the system, screw orders, screw WAITING for help to come. Bucky complicates their whole dynamic in such interesting ways if you assume people KNOW Hydra took a special interest in him or that he survived their experiments, which presumably people /do/ know. They would’ve given people on the frontlines SO MUCH to gossip about!!! This is what I mean about the human elements of WWII - people are people, and they are going to hunger for stories and heroes in times of strife. The thing about art in wartime is that it WAS a huge thing in WWII. Art was specifically targeted and destroyed (museums, libraries, religious symbols), it was specifically commissioned by oppressive powers (the Nazi uniform is a HUGE example of that, as are the flags), and it became symbolic of resistance and propaganda both! Art permeated the ghettos, with little homemade theatres putting on plays and tiny paper strips containing poetry no one would ever see in concentration camps or shipped out in furniture the original owners will never touch again. Art was such bittersweet resistance, allowed for contemplation on religion, both could (through destruction) and could not be taken away (through never ending creation)...ugh. It’s such a huge element of how humans express themselves when all else is taken away. Ghetto poetry was a massive inspiration for this, but then the idea of audio caught me by the goddamn throat and refused to let go once I was going through historical resources and rediscovered the story of the Cellist of Sarajevo.  LW is very much so meant to read like an epic (rather specifically the seafaring kind, because it deals so heavily in time and the unknown and blue blue blue). I’m really happy so many people FEEL that in it. It’s such a massive idea that I don’t know if I’ll ever actually be able to write it in full, though I certainly want to try. I’ll totally post the snippets eventually. My transition into proper adulthood just keeps stopping me from actually sitting down and just writing - what with going back to school, looking for a job, getting a job, moving across the country - it’s been a lot. But soon! I definitely want to go back to work on CBT and Charybdis.

[baconpal]

talkin bout fire force

shit boys it’s been too long time for another unprompted juvenile rant about manga, click keep reading if you’re insane and keep scrolling if you aren’t 

So Fire Force anime starts in just about a week and I decided to just read it all instead of waiting for any anime. It took a while to read all of it and now I just kind of have a lot to say about the manga, the anime, and the author. So here we go. 

I actually have a lot of good things to talk about, but I’ll get the bad shit out of the way first:

THE WRITING

idk his name it doesn’t really matter since he’s made like 2 things he’s just the soul eater guy; his art style has always been charming and the action scenes keep improving but his actual narrative writing is real bad. I’ll talk about the characters themselves since I actually think FF’s characters are a ridiculous improvement from soul eater, and the setting/aesthetic are on point as well but the plot is just as bad if not worse than whatever soul eater was.

The story is riddled with what should obviously be throwaway characters that keep being brought back and doing something evil and unexpected because it’s a shounen manga and if you aren’t being betrayed then the plot isn’t moving forward, or someone introduced as an obviously villainous character just kind of agrees to be friends in a couple chapters. This is used as a constant cycle of introducing both a set of “evil” and “good” characters, then one of the old “good” sets of characters does something evil and the newest “evil” guys turn out to be good. It’s not interesting or shocking to have a character you can’t even remember come back and act like they’re important, especially if it’s repeated over and over.

FF pretends to have some kind of politic overtones where religions and businesses and such act as their own entities and betray each other and prey on the civilians, but you see absolutely none of the impact anybody’s actions have on the world despite ridiculous things constantly happening and world shaking truths being brought to light over and over, nothing happens. Villains will also  have ridiculous unbeatable abilities but then just be ignored, such as making zombie apocalypses or controlling minds and such. This is also likely a concession of being a shounen manga, where you can’t expect readers to read every single chapter, and usually on a week to week basis, so every chapter needs to have its own big shit happening, even if there’s no plans to follow through on anything. 

The worst part about the writing is how much stuff that the reader didn’t know about and has no idea what it is is passed of as some shocking twist when it’s introduced. This mostly happens with powers and with new factions. There’s a ridiculous amount of times where a new group steps in as the bad guy like mentioned earlier. But for the powers, there’s so many things layered on top of an actually acceptable power system that just seem to cause a DBZ type of escalation of power without the fight scenes actually becoming that much crazier at all. On top of the simple 2nd/3rd generation fire fighter powers, the main character is meant to utilize the adolla burst, the adolla link, the preacher’s divine protection, the okay hand emoji that makes you go fast, the breath of life, and superfire fighting. None of that means anything to anyone and are just used as “MC needs to be better at something but only temporarily” over and over. It’s similar to Maka and Soul’s deals with the devil in soul eater except much more common and with absolutely no downsides.

Also not the fault of the writer himself but there is not ANY good translation of this manga out there holy shit. There’s so many incredibly obvious puns and connections and choices of words to be made that are just entirely ignored, the typesetting is always awful, and no name for moves, characters, or even the title are ever agreed upon. It took until the official release titled “Fire Force” before people stopped trying to call the manga “Burning Firefighter Squad of Fire”.

THE ANIME

Just a bit more bad to say before I go into all the shit about this manga i actually like. The anime looks awful. A lot of anime does right now, very little of note has been coming out or seems to be coming in the future, which is usually the case but its not getting better and that sucks! 

But specifically the fire force anime, following up after soul eater, has absolutely none of the visual charm translated from the manga to anime, the voice casting is absolutely abysmal, and there’s nothing to give me hope in it, not enough to even give it an episode most likely. People might try to defend David productions because woah man I love jojo!!! but they’re pretty fucking bad at animating anything. The choice of color is gross and the visual effects are bland, which is a bad place to start for a show that will contain tons of fire and other bombastic effects. Big shame.

OKAY ONTO THAT GOOD SHIT

CHARACTER DESIGN

The visual designs in soul eater were cool if a bit janky, and the actual concepts for characters were far from astounding, usually being able to fully describe characters in single words and not having much development outside of combat abilities. But Fire Force has some of the most tight characters I’ve seen in a while, they’re all simple and focused with strong thematic elements.

Ya’ll know me, hopefully. I really appreciate simple designs and simple characters. Complicated does not equal deep, and simple does not equal shallow. The characters in fire force will usually embody a concept, or a concept and its exact opposite, and be never waver from their design. I’ll talk about em for specific characters when I get to em but even lots of minor characters are very well focused and I appreciate it.

SHINRA

The main character, and while his grocery list of special abilities and “chosen one” kinda shit is annoying, he starts of as a very strong introspective of the weight of your actions vs the impression you give of in the eyes of society. The easiest way to describe it is through the very obvious identity struggle he goes through of wanting to be known as a “Hero” but instead being “The Devil”. All Shinra ever does is selflessly save peoples lives and put himself at extreme risk, he tells everyone and their grandma that they can call on him when they need a hero, and yet his visuals consist of a dark haired punk who constantly smiles a sharp toothy smile, his ability that he uses to fly in and do kamen rider kicks with spews fire from his feet in the shape of pointy wings, and this fire puts a heavy shadow over his face, giving him a monsterous siloutte. It’s not at all subtle that he just looks as evil and menacing as possible, and so his reputation is constantly negative no matter how kind he is. It’s not explored all that deeply but it is still a strong contrast.

ARTHUR

What a fucking idiot. What an absolute buffoon. This stupid fuck functions as a very simple gag character by being nearly too dumb to function and living in a made up reality as a fantasy knight, but is also able to exist as one of the strongest characters in combat. His ridiculous power is handled in a much more engaging way than Shinra’s. As instead of layering multiple chosen one abilities on him, he becomes weaker or stronger depending on his suspension of disbelief. The more in character as a powerful knight he becomes, the stronger he is. It’s a clean way to make a funny delusional characters struggle actually mean something to the people around them, instead of being left to his own devices or constantly told to fuck off. And while I said the plot isn’t very good, the smaller character beats can be very powerful. For example, It was already pretty easy to just accept Arthur as he was, but his family situation is explored late into the manga, and it’s shown that he began to live in fantasy to escape from his families arguments and poor living conditions. His parents take advantage of his disconnect and abandon their home with him in it, leaving all their responsibilities to him with a note saying he’s now the king and has inherited their castle. This pushes him to an even more absurd degree of fantasy in order to just live out his life knowing he was unloved and unwanted. It very understated how you can make a character that’s mostly used for jokes still be very easy to connect to and empathize. 

TAMAKI 

This one is likely to be the hottest take made from me here today, but this is the most interesting character in this series for a variety of reasons. 

Visuals out of the way, the fire fighter outfits everyone wears already look cool as shit and big puffy coats just get me goin, this girl absolutely rocks it on top of having twintails and a cute face. That’s not objective in anyway this is just a character designed to bait specifically me and its fucking working, okay? The writing is the actually interesting part.

So something that’s usually not even worth talking about is fan service. Show of a girls titties cus its what dudes in their teens want to see, its free (You)s for shounen manga, and soul eater was full of it. It was pretty bad in soul eater and could come at jarring and unneeded times for characters that didn’t seem to exist for any sexual reasons. It was a very poor way to include fan service. 

Fire Force also begins in a similar spot, the 3 main girls that are around in the beginning chapters are occasionally seen changing or in a bath or covered in water or whatever, with one particularly bad spread of them with the classic no nipple no vagina bodies all standing together in a shower. Its awkward and stiff and even as a fan of anime tiddie it just wasn’t worth having. 

But then that wildman just does it. He creates one single character to put literally every single ounce of horny energy in to. A character who exists to fall over and get her tits pushed into someones face, but pushed to a cartoonish extreme. It sounds silly to try to pass off fanservice as funny, but it is. It’s so ridiculously intended and impossible and always varied that its actually fun to see her do something stupid and for something to happen. Sometimes its just her ass landing on a dudes face (god i wish that were me) or her body being exposed and drawn in pretty high detail. Sometimes instead they get an entire dude stuck in her shirt after just tripping in a way that is not not being sexual to the reader at all since you see absolutely no skin. She’s simply destined to be put into lewd situations in universe, not in regards to the manga itself. For an example, here she is just standing completely still, and suddenly becoming naked, drawn in a distant, goofy way: 

It’s stupid. It’s definitely still fan service, but it’s just ridiculous. And that’s way more interesting than having every girl in your series randomly get naked at some point. Despite being insane it still works on boys, as Tamaki is the most popular girl in the series by far, ranked as the second most popular character consistently. 

Tamaki also leads to the single best chapter of the manga where a horribly designed throw-away assassin who was beaten by her returns for revenge, but just ends up as a short, self contained, well paced comedic story of love. 

And guess what, she’s still interesting outside of being funny and having fan service. Her cartoonish luck is essentially treated as her actual power, and her fire cat abilities aren’t explored too deeply during most of the series, but this is done for a greater purpose of essentially spitting in the face of high stakes. Tamaki easily witnesses the most deaths in the series, and most of them are cruel and unusual. She witnesses children being killed by a man who inspired her, she sees people she just met be beheaded in some gruesome shots that aren’t anywhere else in the series, and she gets involved in all sorts of life threatening situations. She still just falls over and gets naked. She’ll have fairly serious fights where she tries her hardest or the people around her are completely serious, and without bringing any direct attention to it she still ends up showing skin. There’s a point where every single character is at risk of dying at once to a trap set by the enemy, and Tamaki quietly laments over how she’ll be the only one to survive. She is completely aware of her ridiculous luck and her complete immunity to stakes, which is honestly just great.

Even beyond that, Tamaki is slowly being built up as more and more of an actual character, she has a short backstory section where her own hard work and effort is basically ignored by everyone around her, as if her success in life is only a result of her good luck, which is a feeling that hits very close to home to me (fuck you if you’ve ever discredited someones hard work because they’re “””””talented””””). And in the most recent couple of chapters, shes made an active effort to train alongside Shinra and Arthur, who both value the improvements they can make to themselves through hard work. No other characters in the cast make conscious efforts to improve from their status in the way Tamaki does. She moves up from a joke character to now trying to stand along side the main character as a useful and though out character. It’s a genuinely wonderful character to have been developed and the best thing I’ve gotten from this author.

VISUALS AND COMPOSITION

Okay enough about the characters, the last little thing I wanna touch on is just some of the absolutely bonkers kinds of compositions in this manga. One of the villains has an ability that is explained incredibly poorly. Pretty sure it’s just a time slowing ability that has nothing to do with fire but whatever. The pages where he uses the ability have this absolutely sick warped look to them that plays with the panels in a way that couldn’t be depicted in any other medium. Just look at this shit.

Every panel has a different background and yet still describes a single cut in time. It might not really mean anything, but that’s fucking sick dude.

Another pretty interesting one is this one kid named Nataku, who has an ability forced onto him by a maniac with a motif of stars for eyes, who dies immediately after. This event is shown to have absolutely traumatized him not because its directly said, but because this dead character appears constantly in panels with this kid, sometimes taking up the entire background to yell at him, or being an almost impossible to see spec lingering behind him. Nataku is also drawn in this strange sketchy style where he seems to be melting, and sometimes melds into shapes that resemble this dead character, such Nataku’s mouth becoming the fucking eyeball of the dead guy, star pupil and everything. It’s just such a specific and horrific way to depict that kind of identity trauma and it really stuck out to me.

I’LL SHUT UP NOW

And ye that’s about it. It was a lot of rambling and there are still lots of little things i like about the manga, good designs and cool fights and stuff but i just wanted to talk about the things that were really noteworthy to me. 

It’s been a long time since I’ve spent 4 hours just typing about stuff but if you actually read any of this, on this dead website of all places, you’re cool. Hope you found something interesting too.

[dazzlinghaze528-blog]

Lovin’ Lover: A Taylor Swift superfan’s review of Lover

Lover moved me so that I had to write a review of it. Figured it belonged on here just as much as it did on my personal blog. I hope it speaks to some fellow Swifties and maybe even someday Taylor herself. 

I’ve identified as a Taylor Swift super fan for an appropriate 13 years now. I specifically recall being in the seventh grade, checking my hot pink iPod Nano at 11:00 PM sharp to listen to the launch of Fearless single “You Belong With Me”- the first of many times I would come to dance this dance.

As much as I know she has meant to so many of the young women who have grown up with her, I have to admit I still sometimes feel as though there is something special about the bond we share as artist and fan. Something almost cosmic or spiritual. There are so many similar, specific ways that we both seem to interact with the world. Something in the way that melodies and words and storytelling keep us moving forward. Something in the way we analyze the complexities of the lives we’ve found ourselves in and the way that can feed anxiety if we’re not carefully waiting for it. Something in the bubbly personalities, the love of cats and vintage fashion. Something in the golden hair and indigo eyes.

Something in the way that we LOVE love.

This album is arguably Taylor Swift’s most mature, personal analysis of love of any of her albums thus far. It’s not just snakes transforming into butterflies and paper rings and golden hours. It’s an inside look at the rainbow spectrum of ways that love can manifest itself in real lives, not just in storybooks. And that moved me to the point where I had to (literally) take a note out of Taylor’s book and write about it. So here we go:

“I Forgot That You Existed”

Taylor has described this opener as the track that transitions the listener out of her previous Reputation era. It’s sonically very bright and buoyant, with perhaps the melody that most easily rolls of the voice. And it settles in the emotion that most are striving for when recovering from drama or a betrayal: indifference. Some will call this song ‘petty,’ but I challenge all who listen to think back to the first time they thought about someone who wronged them after months, or maybe even years of occupancy in their minds and thought, “Oh- I forgot about them.” Is there any stronger sense of relief?

“Cruel Summer”

Littered with sharp imagery and cutting lyrics, this is (in my opinion) the album’s most epic track. I don’t have a particularly eloquent way of explaining this, but the production sounds like neon- ala the intro music to HBO’s Sharp Objects. And the story is one that 20-somethings know, excuse the joke, all too well. This story is one of a summer fling that you find yourself wanting to grow up into something real, and the very real fear that you could get cut when you let the other person know. When TS said, “I’m drunk in the back of the car, and I cried like a baby coming home from the bar. Said I’m fine but it wasn’t true; I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you,” …I felt that.

“Lover”

I can’t say enough glowing things about this song. It’s a waltz that sounds straight out of the 60s and uses some of my all time favorite words. Words that sound straight out of a Jane Austen novel. Between “there’s a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you dear” and “my heart’s been borrowed and yours has been blue; all’s well that ends well to end up with you,” wedding related Instagram captions are set for the next couple of years. As beautiful as this song is, I admit that it really is a song meant for lovers. You love it more when you are in love yourself.

“The Man”

I’ve yet to hear a song quite like this yet, which is surprising given the time that we’re living in. It’s even more striking coming from Taylor Swift, a woman who was named this past year’s highest paid celebrity. Period. It’s a fascinating observation that many of the things that Taylor Swift has been attacked for over the years: dating a handful of high-profile men, being outspoken about musicians’ financial and artistic rights, engaging with and strategically planning for a wildly intense and devoted fanbase, are lauded when done by men in the industry. Additionally, NO ONE seems to want to write about how incredibly wealthy TS is. As though it will make the reader uncomfortable. But journalists have no problem writing about the wealth and affluence of male celebrities. Food for thought; this song should be required listening.

“The Archer”

“The Archer” is a song that I truly listened to death upon its early release. I was particularly struck by the line, “And all of my heroes died all alone. Help me hold on to you.” As bizarre a connection this may be, it reminded me of one of my new favorite shows The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and the way the heroine wrestles with wether or not greatness in her art equates to a life lived alone, as she begins to achieve success with her stand-up comedy career. This isn’t all the song is about- it’s truly a very wide range of introspection, but it is what stuck with me the most as a creative who also dreams of one day falling in love and having a family.

“I Think He Knows”

Okay- this song truly fits the modern day definition of a BOP. This is probably the song on the album that most frequently gets stuck in my head upon listening.“Wanna see what’s under that attitude,” is a totally swoon worthy line. There’s also a bridge that reminds me of “Treacherous,” one of my favorite songs off of her album Red. With that song we start with “Nothing safe is worth the drive, and I will follow you, follow you home,” and end up at “Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh we can follow the sparks, I’ll drive.” in Lover. I’ve said it once but I’ll say it again, “Treacherous” ran so “I Think He Knows” could SPRINT!

7. “Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince”

I truly have so many thoughts about this song. I would argue this is the album’s smartest song, as it likens America’s current political climate to the world of an American high school- with popularity contests, school spirit chants, and clique mentality. The first time I listened to it I went, “…is this about Hilary Clinton? No…wait?” Lines like “I’m feeling helpless, the damsels are depressed. Boys will be boys then, where are the wise men?” and “They whisper in the hallway she’s a bad, bad girl. The whole school is rolling fake dice. You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes,” were screaming 2016 election to me. The song really encapsulates the moment you realize that American politics is filled with people who manipulate the system- and how that can lead to the conclusion that the prize isn’t real either.

“Paper Rings”

“Paper Rings” has grown on me since my first listen. It’s got a slight British pop-punk vibe that I wasn’t sure I was that into at first. But the more I listened, the more I fell for all of the specific, tiny details of the love that she’s found for herself. The line, “Went home and tried to stalk you on the internet. Now I’ve read all of the books beside your bed,” held so much weight to me as an amateur Internet sleuth and a lover of the written word. I found myself going “Woah- look how far they’ve COME!” It’s also just plain fun and will be awesome to see live.

“Cornelia Street”

It’s pretty incredible to know that Taylor Swift wrote this massive, sweeping song all by her lonesome. But it’s just a reminder that underneath all of the awesome production on this album, there’s just truly great songwriting. This track really leans on the idea that memories can become attached to places, impossible to separate. Ala her Red era masterpiece, “All Too Well,” TS so vividly paints a picture of the memories made on Cornelia Street that once she says “I’d never walk Cornelia Street again,” you immediately understand why.

“Death By A Thousand Cuts”

There’s a pretty amazing story behind this track. Long story short, Taylor was inspired by an incredible (and completely underrated) Netflix Rom-Com called Someone Great to write this song. But BEFORE that, a film-maker named Jennifer Kaytin Robinson was inspired to write Someone Great after soothing a heartache with Taylor’s album 1989– specifically the iconic song, “Clean.” So this tune already carries the legacy of art made by powerful women. Additionally, I find that it has some of the most tragically relatable lyrics. “My heart, my hips, my body, my love. Tryna’ find a part of me that you didn’t touch,” and “Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand. Paper cut stains from our paper thin plans,” so well articulate the paper-cut pain of the dissolution of a once cherished relationship.

“London Boy”

“London Boy” is by far the cheekiest song on the album. It’s clever as all get out, and a welcome buffer between tracks 10 and 12. An interesting observation by country singer-songwriter, Ryan Hurd: “Feels like it’s written like a country song, but it’s all dressed up like a pop song. Super cool.” As a massive country music fan, I can attest to this. “London Boy” has a crystal clear story, extremely bright lyrics, and it spends most of its time listing the best parts of a particular place- all lovable tropes of the country music genre.

“Soon You’ll Get Better”

So I have yet to make it through this song without crying…and I’ve probably listened to the album at least seven times now. I often think of skipping it, but it is sonically catnip to me. A collaboration with the Dixie Chicks, this track is entirely acoustic, has tight female harmonies, and violin- what am I to do? This wildly personal song is about Taylor’s mother’s battle with cancer and the denial and grief she’s experienced around that so far. The song is stunning and more than anything, universal. Come to it prepared.

“False God”

Saxophone in a Taylor Swift song? Yes. “False God” sounds like it belongs specifically in a Speakeasy. It’s got breathy vocals, a slightly rambling melody, and extremely sexy lyrics. It’s not the most relatable song on the album; most of us aren’t superstars managing bi-continental relationships. But I like the world that it sucked me into.

“You Need to Calm Down”

Not only is this song pure Pop fun, “You Need to Calm Down” addresses three whole categories of internet haters. Those who make a habit of shooting mean tweets at celebrities and people they don’t know first thing in the morning, those who are anti-LGBTQ equality, and those who constantly pin female artists against each other- as though people don’t have the capacity to like more than one at a time. In the context of Lover, this is the song that most enforces “Spread love; not hate.”

“Afterglow”

I’m of the opinion that “Afterglow” has been a bit underrated since the arrival of the album. It’s a simple melody, but what’s incredible about this song is that it is notably the best her voice has ever sounded. Her instrument really shines here. It’s also one of the first Taylor Swift songs I’ve ever loved despite not relating to the content in the slightest. TS writes here from the perspective of someone who is tending to a relationship she wounded by relaxing so much into it that she lets anxiety get the better of her and lashes out. It’s a very specific relationship milestone that I’ve yet to ever reach myself, but she sings about it with such passion that I’m totally invested.

“ME!”

“ME!” is truly a Dr. Seuss book come to life. Not just because of the cartoonish joy in the video, but because of that same cartoonish joy that comes through in the vocals of both her and Brenden Urie. It’s not the most lyrically complex or dynamic song of the album, but by gosh it’s positive and catchy and it makes people happy. It also serves it’s purpose post Afterglow beautifully- acknowledging that even when she is a “handful,” her lover loves her still.

“It’s Nice to Have a Friend”

My favorite thing about this song is the ghostly background vocals and string instruments, both of which were provided by students at a not-for-profit after school music program in Toronto. Proceeds from the track are going to support the program and help keep arts education afloat. Knowing this took this song from a song that I liked to a song that I love. The song also truly captures the hope of the beginning so well and in so few words. “Twenty questions, we tell the truth. You’ve been stressed out lately, yeah me too. Something gave you the nerve to touch my hand, it’s nice to have a friend.”

“Daylight”

“Daylight” sounds like a sunrise. It makes you feel as though her life is finally beginning as this album is ending. The most enjoyable part of this song is the bridge where she compares what she once thought true love would be to what she knows it to be now. She calls back to her old self by singing, “I once believed love would be burning red, but it’s golden.” It’s simultaneously the most nostalgic track on the album and also the most hopeful, and I breathe with her when she sings “You gotta step into the daylight and let it go.”  To quote her past life, “…in the death of her reputation she felt truly alive.”

Here’s a link to the blog post in case you wanna share with other Swifties <3

 https://annalehnhoff.wordpress.com/2019/08/27/lovin-lover-a-taylor-swift-enthusiasts-review-of-new-album-lover/

[emmaruthrundlesh]

Interview with Emma Ruth Rundle // Astral Noize

An in depth interview with Emma Ruth Rundle about her new album "On Dark Horses" coming out on Friday, Sept 14th everywhere - Pre-order here. She will also be on tour starting Sept 15th. Interview by Paige Mathis via Astral Noize

“It’s hard not to feel like an asshole just talking about myself,” Emma Ruth Rundle reveals as she ponders the deeper themes of her latest work through an intermittently crackling Skype call. Intertwining a mild-mannered and introverted personality with deeply personal and revealing music may sound oxymoronic, but Rundle’s career is built upon these vacillating foundations. The American songwriter and visual artist’s atmospheric contributions to the music scene have grown increasingly intimate throughout her career, from the lush ambience of The Nocturnes, the cinematic soundscapes of Red Sparrowes and the sprawling haze of Marriages to the ethereal musings of her solo work. 2016’s Marked for Death felt much like the peak of this introspection, brimming as it was with brooding reflections on life, addiction, and self-destructive tendencies.

Its follow-up, On Dark Horses, is suitably a reflection of an artist who has survived inner struggles and emerged stronger, though it doesn’t shy away from the dark realities of life. One of which being that life is seldom as uncomplicated as placing personal demons aside – many will wrestle with them for decades. To find out more, we had an in-depth conversation with the musician about the open and personal nature of her songwriting, collaborating with her partner Evan Patterson (Young Widows, Jaye Jayle), how this album’s creation differs from her past LPs, and how her visual art entwines with her musical output.

On Dark Horses by Emma Ruth Rundle

The last album was written in a remote artist’s residence whereas this one was largely written during breaks in touring after a move to Louisville, Kentucky. Did that change your approach at all? Are you inspired by your surroundings when writing?

I think it made the album a lot less desperate and I reached a lot of breaking points writing Marked For Death from being alone in the desert, but I think it allowed for maybe some more emotionally potent songs. For some of the stuff on this record, I took a week off in Cornwall and for some of the music I was able to access that same headspace, but it wasn’t as extreme as the last record. I do think it’s important and that it’s an effective way of writing to be in that kind of extreme setting of solitude.

This record was definitely influenced by the other musicians I was around in that having them playing with the band, getting to flesh out some of the songs, particularly with Dylan [Nadon, Wovenhand] and Evan [Patterson], the instrumentation of it lent itself to a little bit of a different approach. Being able to write an instrumental bridge in a song knowing that other musicians are gonna be there to play with you, that part wouldn’t really be as effective as a solo guitarist. There are some different things you can pull of as a band and I think I wrote some parts of the songs knowing that I was going to have that both in the studio and the live setting.

You mentioned before that this is the first time you didn’t play all of the guitar parts yourself. Was handing that over to someone else strange given how personal your music sometimes is? Or was it beneficial in that it allowed you to focus on other parts of the arrangement?

It was very difficult for me to do that. I had a really hard time not playing all the guitars on the record and especially letting a man do it was very hard for me. I love Evan and his playing is incredible and he’s been one of my favourite guitar players. I’m a huge fan of Young Widowsand obviously tour a lot with Jaye Jayle… part of the reason we have a relationship in real life is based on us playing together. We were forced into the situation last year when going on tour together, I hadn’t played with them before and they became my backing band for the tour. As soon as he started playing guitar, I was like woah I’m in love with this person – his playing was like an extension of myself. We have the same inclinations and he brings his own unique style to it as well. I was in love with his guitar playing anyway and despite that it was very difficult for me to not track all of the guitar parts and then force him to play things. Evan is an incredible artist in his own right, an incredible songwriter and technically wonderful at the guitar.

So, while it was difficult, I think it benefits the music. Being able to have a second guitar does allow me to play different kinds of leads, riffs, and focus on vocals more in certain areas in the live setting, and I know that I wrote some of the album with that in mind. There was a little bit more planning with how I’m going to live through this album cycle as far as performance goes than the last album. With Marked For Death, I didn’t even know that I was going to tour or even make another record. This record there’s been a little bit more of a strategy in the writing, and part of that has been having the support of other musicians. It was really hard, even up until we were going to the studio. The parts that Evan did write bring so much to the songs and it’s fun. I think I vacillate between being a kind of controlling crazy person and then wanting support and help from my fellows.

How do you feel being a solo artist compares to being in a band where the output is a collaborative effort?

I think it’s a lot easier to write solo. Writing in a band is a democratic process and so you’ll have, like in Marriages, three separate people coming from different angles and obviously we have similar interests and similar backgrounds as far as what music made us wanna join a band together. But, the influences can be different enough that you can butt heads on where to take a song or how to start a song. Every band is so different, but the band experiences that I’ve had – which is mostly Red Sparrows and Marriages – it just takes a lot longer to write songs in some ways because you have to contend with other people’s opinions and styles and egos and all of the things that go into being a band.

When writing solo, that just isn’t a thing… all you have to rely on and deal with is your own work ethic, whatever it is that you’re drawing from and the time frame that you have. So it’s part of the reason that I started making solo records and leaning more and more in that direction. [It’s not] because I don’t love writing with a band or writing with my previous bandmates, it’s just natural things that happened and [people] kind of went their separate ways, and Marriages… maybe next year. Writing solo is just easier and something you can do sitting alone on a side porch or in your house or wherever you have a moment and space to yourself. Writing with a band you need a rehearsal space, everyone’s schedules have to meet. Writing alone is something you can do more easily for so many reasons. Interpersonal reasons, logistical reasons, all of that stuff.

Do you think that your music has become more open and personal over time?

The last record was really open and personal. I think that there are some songs on this album that are as well. It’s all personal. It kind of makes it hard to talk about in some ways. The personal nature of the music just feels natural. I think the last record seems more personal. This record is still personal but isn’t as desperate and fraught. The last song ‘You Don’t Have To Cry’ is a song I wrote for someone else and doesn’t have anything to do with my personal struggle and pain, which is a new step for me. Other songs on the album are very personal.

Do you think it’s important for artists to write about this kind of thing and to be so open and candid and truthful?

I can’t say what’s important for artists to do. I can’t say that my art is important in itself… it’s just what I do. I don’t even know that it’s important. I don’t think there are any rules for what artists should or shouldn’t do. Everyone brings something to the world… if everybody was writing this honest, open music about their struggle it would be kind of depressing, I think there’s got to be other kinds of expression that serve a purpose. Human beings are so multifaceted and complex. Everything has a value and at the same time nothing matters when it comes down to it, especially about art. Art is a luxury.

Is it important to you that people interpret your music in a particular way?

No. You can’t control how anyone is going to interpret your music. Once you record or say something and leave it, it’s open to interpretation and there’s just nothing you can do to control that. I’ve been getting asked a lot of political questions lately and I don’t want that. I don’t want people to interpret my music as a political statement. I don’t have any expectations about how it will or should be interpreted.

You’ve said before that folk music was integral to your musical beginnings. In what way did folk music inform your music? Is this perhaps where often sincere and honest lyrics derive from?

I don’t know where that inclination comes from. What really influenced me the most was hanging around a folk music store and hearing that music constantly in the background. This place called McCabe’s in Santa Monica. I took Celtic harp lessons there when I was eight and then just started hanging out in the store. It’s been a folk music store for 60 years in LA, they have concerts etc. I was exposed to lots of different types of music at home but working in the folk music store affected my guitar playing more than my lyrics.

Lots of people have said that your last album was all about performance and visuality and there are essences of that on this new album too. Do you think that derives from your being a visual artist? Is it your intention to combine the two mediums?

In the past, I would say no. I think that the visual element is something that is kind of just out of necessity, like I’d need to make an album cover or, like on this The Nocturnes record called Aokigahara, I kinda got into creating a visual world around the album. On Dark Horsesis the first time since then that I feel I’ve really done that in the more extreme way, with the paintings I’ve been doing now and the album art and all the visual art. My visual art brain is coming into creating the world around the record more than it has in the past but I don’t think that the visual art that I do informs my music or my performances or vice versa. I think they’re kind of separate muses for me and I turn to one when I’m not doing the other.

Many metal fans can be judgemental and elitist about what they consider ‘metal enough’ to listen to. You said once that the metal scene is your world. Do you think that people like yourself – who experiment with the established sound – being embraced by the metal community is a sign that the genre is becoming more open-minded?

I would hesitate to speak for the metal community or for the genre or any genres. I think that there’s a listenership… the spectrum is so huge. I can only speak from my own experiences, which [are that] for some reason I have been invited to play metal festivals and seem to be embraced by that community. There are so many subgenres within metal – doom metal, classic metal, stoner metal, etc. – and maybe not all those people come from the same place. There’s this cross-section of bands and music that’s happening right now that has a very broad and open-minded listenership. I think people (not just metal listeners) in general’s tastes are broadening based on how accessible music is, not the content of music but the avenues through which people consume music is more accessible. Maybe listenership in general is broadening. At the same time, you have these festivals like Roadburn in the Netherlands that has a lot of different kinds of bands playing there. I would still say that it’s a heavy or extreme music festival, but there’s just something open-minded about it. I think it’s a progressive listenership.

What’s next for you. Any plans?

There’s lots of touring plans. I have a visual art show in Chicago on September 8th, and then I’m doing a full US tour that’s broken up in the middle by a European/UK tour which starts September 15th here in the states, breaks on September 25th, then I’m heading over to Europe and starting in France on October 6th. I’ll be in the UK November 3rd through to the 8th, and then I come back to the states and do the west coast November 20th to December 17th, so once September hits I’ll pretty much be on tour for the rest of the year, and then I’m hoping to finish writing this acoustic guitar album that I’ve been working on. It never ends.

[ao3feed-danganronpa]

Training Session

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/ERWe7k3

by Celeastral

A look into what goes on during one of Tenko's mornings. Woah, a new partner to spar with? Yeah!!!

Words: 2117, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen

Characters: Harukawa Maki, Chabashira Tenko, Background & Cameo Characters

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Martial Arts, Introspection

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/ERWe7k3

[sanzu-sanzu-sanzu]

Hiii~ never slide in your tumblr much buttt i hope you're having or had a good day!! i really really realllllyyy loves all of your works like woah how does someone has this much talent to draw out the emotions in a form of writing?!?!?

anyways for the ask game may i have 4 if it wasn't taken yet?

you are the most kiiind omg huhuhuhu i do my best 😭 thank you, thank u so much for reading my works 🥺 it means a lot to me!!

4. what are some of examples of storytelling that inspires you outside of books?

i first come from an art/design background so i am crazy about visual art ahahaha. whether it's a birds-eye landscape of a particular event where you can clearly see a story taking place, or a simple scene of a house and its dreary colors, or a close-up of highly-tense, high-contrast faces, all of its elements—the lines, the colors, the composition, the medium, which subjects are highlighted, etc—work to tell a story, or to say Something. but then they're all subjected to the viewer's experiences too, how we see the world, and so just that whole silent convo between me and what i see within this window is fascinating to me.

i especially am in love with the works of edward hopper 😌 his paintings always take me to a certain time and place. i am a lonely hunter so works that feel melancholic and introspective always strike a chord in me :)

this was such a fun question to answer ahaha thank you so much again ☺️

[rironomind]

GS Artists Rec List

I told @the-nysh I would do this so I did. I’m just here to shamelessly promote my favs.  If you want to binge on art, trawl Pixiv and bookmarks. If you want daily art, follow the artists’ Twitter, or @GSnightfight. 

Sidenote: It is strange to know that some of the raunchiest stuff come from mums. 

(Artists under the cut!)

Kinako [Pixiv] [Twitter]- Protec. Their comic strips are so cute and good. Like this one here and an ongoing one on Twitter. I don’t really understand it but it seems like Genos drank a memory loss chemical to forget about how he couldn’t really love Saitama but then ended up in a relationship with him anyway? He calls just calls Saitama “Saitama”, it’s very bittersweet because he regrets drinking it. (Full thread here)

Yutani [Pixiv] - They do doujins, including one where Genos turns into a white wolf and one where Saitama gets double-teamed by devil!Genos and bunny!Genos.

Lisa [Pixiv] [Twitter] - Have I mentioned lately how much I love Lisa? I’ve been following her ever since she did “The person who makes you happy/Happy people” (Part 1/Part 2). She just did an omegaverse doujin too. Her style is a bit anatomically questionable but they look soft and blushy and muscley and romantic so I’m into it. She’s also done a couple of fake movie posters that’s also very tender. ^3^ (Also, nice try Lisa, I know you draw gratuitous bottom!Genos porn on a separate Twitter account.)

Nano [Pixiv] [Twitter] [Tumblr] - Soft, round egg. They did a doujin where Saitama gets fucked while wearing a dress as well as this really nice sfw doujin about Genos realising he likes Saitama. And who could forget this iconic fake twitter video. (Also they’re on tumblr! Please show them more love)

Polon [Pixiv] [Twitter] - Soft watercolour style, lithe muscley egg illustrations in sexy (and funny) poses and outfits. Loads of lovely short R18 comics. One of my favs is in here where Saitama’s cum is turned into Cookies and Cream flavour by a monster and this one where Saitama gets a bad fan letter and needs some TLC. They also have cat!sensei and dog!Genos versions which are super cute. Cat!Sensei is very chubby (it’s in their icon!).

Oikkodeth [Pixiv] [Twitter] - Yall better recognise. Mainly R18 doujins and puts out one every event (that’s like 5 times a year or more). They’ve covered the whole range: hanahaki, Little Red Riding Hood, human torso!Genos and more. Anatomy is a bit stiff but they’re so proficient.

Mido [Pixiv] [Twitter] - Korean but translates her comics to Japanese. Expressive, cute, clean comic style.

Akiyama [Pixiv] [Twitter] - Yall better fucking R E C O G N I S E. They, along with asamizu and a few others, have been posting since 2013. They churn out doujins like a machine and even has their own category in the doujin store, their books took up half a shelf. Consistently cute, punchy dialogue and doesn’t deal with drama. But you don’t need me to tell you. (Look at this though!!)

Hoyu [Pixiv] [Twitter] - You guys remember the sausage pillow comic? Do you like spit, licking, kinks and softcore yandere Genos? You’re gonna love Hoyu. Also, she knows loads of people? I always see her in the comments on twitter. Very skinny boys and twisted love, a new and interesting sketchy style.

Akiko [Pixiv] [Twitter] - A very girly and attentive waifu top!Genos and a tired Saitama. Puts out a comic strip almost every day? #blessed. (Sensei, please be sweet to me!) Doesn’t do R18 very often.

Oishigeru [Pixiv] - Does only doujins, maybe twice a year? Most, if not all are R18 and Saitama always looks vaguely worried. i like Even If mostly because it’s the only one I read all the way through and it’s about insecurities of a relationship. There was another doujin about Genos/Two Saitamas. Does introspective egg very well so I’m immediately biased. Doesn’t post art on twitter so I’m not including it.

Emochikaoya [Pixiv] [Twitter] - Yall already know I’m a massive fan of Kaoya’s work. Kinkwise, if you think of it, she’s probably drawn it. Super efficient, churns out minicomics once a week in between drawing her original comic (can’t stop the thirst, guys). I’m trying to get her to do more coloured illustrations so if you guys want to stroke her ego, I’ll pass it on. My favourite doujin of hers is ‘Who’ and it has hands-down The Best Egg Lecture. Probably one of the few artists who bother to translate to English (you’re welcome). I have a million things to say about her but it would turn into an essay so I’ll stop.

Minerux [Pixiv] [Twitter] - A member of the @GSNightFight challenge on Twitter. Uncertain and worried egg and supportive and very attentive borg. Check out “Curiousity” and “Red String” and a personal fav “Hold on”.

Dokimaru [Pixiv] [Twitter] - Her neko sensei is probably the most iconic. He has a sweatshirt with like 6 nipples? Iconic. they drew a hot springs doujin where Genos turned basically his whole body into a vibe and Saitama caused him to short circuit and blow out every fuse in the ryokan. They set off the fire sprinklers. This one ficart where Saitama gets double-teamed by two Genoses knocked me flat.

Mat [Pixiv] [Twitter] - Mat?? Is so?? Good?? Ever think about how a look can break your heart? Egg is always tired and Genos is worried. Contact is very sweet and makes your heart twinge, and there’s another one they just released about Saitama being cursed with handcuffed hands

Hebitoriasu [Pixiv] [Twitter] - I’m not a big fan of the shading but I can see improvement. Mostly R18 doujins but they’re cute.

Tori/Saboten [Pixiv] [Twitter] - They have two major AUs - fem!Saitama (Nyotama) and Sabo-sensei - and they’re both amazing. Very good readability, very funny comics. If you’re not a fan of fem!Saitama, they have dedicated groups of art for nyotama. Of course my fav of their works is the one with all of Saitama and Genos’ dating problems and the one where Saitama is “Weak to ikemen (handsome guys)”.

Asamizu [Pixiv] - What kind of useless list would this be without Asamizu? Yeah they had their own category too on the doujin shelf. Very nice graphics, and they discuss relationship topics in a candid manner. Been drawing these boys for over 4 years! Mostly doujins. I also have to plug their game (visual novel) about Saitama endlessly repeating a week to try to get Genos to stop asking him out, it will probably last 10 hours. God they do love to ramble.

Toufumaru [Pixiv] - I’ll admit, I’m not a big fan of their recent work (sailor uniform sensei and sensei who wants to be held) but I really like Blue in Blue and Mellow Yellow which talk about Saitama’s non-existent emotions.

Nemunoki [Pixiv] [Twitter] - Mainly R18 doujins. They’ve explored all manner of sexual situations and kinks. Outdoor sex, electricity, double penetration, tentacles, you name it. It’s all amazing. The perspective does throw me off though.

Untara [Pixiv] - Into switch but really likes bottom!Genos anyway. What can I say? Kinky, but hot.

Satoku [Pixiv] [Twitter] - Melancholy egg! Attentive Genos! Does mostly short comics but they’re so cute. Martyr Saitama is my jam!

Kamikoawakakyouko [Pixiv] [Twitter] - Interesting concepts. Recently released a comic that I consider to be the pinnacle of the OPM fandom because it’s Saitama having to consider the environmental/global impact of his strength and how that boils down to affect his everyday life.

Matabi [Pixiv] - Pretty much only doujins. Sensei has moobs and the boys are squishy and blushy. Also does quite a bit of rimming.

Sototuka [Pixiv] [Twitter] - Mostly R18 illustrations with some nice shading but questionable garments. She drew this doujin with futa!Sensei and double-dick Genos. 

Hara Hara [Pixiv] - Saitama is the manic pixie dream girl you guys never thought would exist. Fashion model ingenue. Werk it, sensei. Permanent come hither. Seeing Saitama in dresses brings me life (even if he is super skinny).

Raoki [Pixiv] - Mainly R18 illustrations. I remembered she did sounding with Pocky.

Gmeko [Pixiv] - C U T E. Round and pastels. Soft with lots of TLC. Did a “(I’ll find you) Before the stars do” comic and a hair washing comic.

NICE BOON [Pixiv] - Korean who takes no shit. Fantastic fashion. Little to no BL but the concepts are all on pointe. Existential egg. Eggistential. Locked twitter.

Silver_mssk [Pixiv]  [Twitter] - locked account but if you managed to add her…really, really good eggistential portraits in a variety of scenes. Hilarious comics and a stone face Genos and flailing egg. Also lots of Mobuncle/Saitama scenarios? Which…tbh same.

Foo2333 [Twitter] - What if Saitama took part in enjo kosai (paid dating)? Bottom!Saitama, a soft and sexy egg desired by all. Listen, I don’t make the rules. 

Skaky21 [Pixiv] [Twitter] - Mostly out of the fandom but dips in sometimes. Very polished shiny style. Not my cup of tea but it’s cute.

1200年丸 [Pixiv] [Twitter] - Now mostly BNHA but does OPM sometimes. Mostly SFW. This comic is cute.

ICHIKAZU [Pixiv] [Twitter] - Curly haired boyish Genos! Everyone’s crazy about her Apocaplyse!AU but I prefer her newest doujin where Saitama wins a camera and Genos uses it to take lots of pictures of his sensei.

Kaji Oyaji [Pixiv] [Twitter] - Wowowow so cute and pastel? Is everyone an angel? Am I dead? Soft and sweet. Saitama is like a fairy and Genos is in love. Imagine the embodiment of Spring.

Ginsky [Pixiv] - Chinese. They’ve moved on but boy those were some bright colours and expressive faces.

Tutu_en_f [Pixiv] [Twitter] - Soft romantic sketches. Feel very french but I’m only saying that because she is literally in France now.

COCONUT [Pixiv] - Korean. Fashionable (you see a trend?) Saigenos sketches. Young boyish Genos, manly egg.

Obachan [Pixiv] [Twitter] - Chibi comics. Still active and cute af.

Shiwasu [Pixiv] [Twitter] - Woah this egg is too cute for this world. Does short comics, draws sex but not especially ero. I like this one which is about Genos becoming able to read Saitama’s mind, first kiss (self explanatory) and Saitama losing his strength (R18).

Nyuton [Pixiv] [Twitter] - Active on Twitter. Posts a lot of speed-colouring videos. Nice sketchy feeling but with colour. Likes to borrow concepts from music videos.

Mochi [Pixiv] - Crudely-drawn gag comics with a humour on par with ONE’s. Please, they’re so good. This one opens up with both of them wearing The Dress.

Shout out to starjr_major who is currently in Golden Kamui hell but used to draw some really amazingly cute Saitama.

[reryanblogs]

re:ryan

Hello my fellow adventurers! I’ve been occupied by tons of side quests that I’m coming back only now. Anyway, if you haven’t noticed, I’m going to reboot and rebrand this blog, babam! This was actually formerly known as elachrophant.tumblr.com but decided to kinda change it into a more honest and more “me” self-brand.

I’ve been putting writing this on hold for such a long time. Hmmm, I don’t know why but I want to time it when my mood and emotions are rather neutral. I’m not sure if I’m neutral enough right now thou, considering I just had my third cup of coffee ㅋㅋㅋ.

It’s been years but I’m trying to REALLY do something about my inner conflicts only now. Looking back, they were really just facades and faking, after all; to convince myself and create the illusion that I manage my shit quite well. Well, maybe even right now might still be an act, but at the moment… I don’t care, I guess? Hahaha. I don’t know what sparked inside that I suddenly got all these motivations and inspirations. Maybe a muse finally entranced me. I hope it live inside me forever until I can be a muse to others.

In the lieu of all of these, I established three pillars I can always go back to if I find myself off track.

r e w r i t e | r e v a m p | r e c r e a t e

○rewrite

•I’m actually taking AB Journalism but you don’t know how much I hate writing, hahaha. Well, to be precise, it’s not hate on writing but on physically writing with a pen or typing on a keyboard itself. What a drag, right? Lololol. I want to get back on not just writing, but also reading. I shit you not, I can devour five and more books in just a day back then. The bookworm me died long ago for some unknown reasons. I really miss that ecstatic feeling of travelling to various places, dungeons, dimensions, parallel universe, and just being engrossed to a story through books. I also really want to turn the notes I jotted down: those pieces of ideas, epiphanies, what ifs, and fragments of story concepts, into something that can make people feel the same addicting feeling I felt reading others’ worlds. I only told few about this, but one of my dreams is actually to be a storyboard writer for games. I enjoy playing games, and I played a lot where I felt so involve because of the story line it served. Persona 3, Dragon Nest, these are only few that inspired and amazed me. I want to write more. That’s also one of the reasons why I pushed myself into blogging. With this I can practice not just writing but also letting the chaos inside out of my system. Journaling, too! I had more than ten unused notebooks for journaling but I never really touched them. I used to keep a diary back in elementary, but someone read a rather personal content from it aloud, and it caused a lot of fuss on our section. Woah, I guess that backstory wraps it up why I hated writing, hahaha, we’ve got some introspection going on here right now.

○revamp

•I’m not really good at Math and Sciences. I think that’s why I tend to fall on the artistic spectrum type of person. You know what, I’m gonna claim it! I’M AN ARTIST! I’m still on search for my own style, thou, that’s why I included “revamp”. I know sooooo many artistic and inspiring people both on the internet and “real world” if you may. I’m always wowed and awed by their artworks, and it has this tingling effect inside that screams “I wanna do that, that, and that too.” And since I’m still on search for my own style, I’m incorporating a part of their crafts into mine. Don’t get me wrong thou, it’s not to copy someone else’s work but to get an inspiration from it and turn it into something I can call myself mine. This applies, not just to me but to everyone. Don’t steal someone else’s hard work. If you’re going to use their art, ask their permission, credit them and help them gather the prominence they need and deserve, or if you can afford, buy and support their crafts 😁 Finding my own style… uniqueness is one of the things that always traps me in a rabbit hole of thinking. Brushing your teeth, going to school, sleeping, waking up, and repeating all these boring courses and routines, how can we say that we are unique from one another when at the end of the day, our existence doesn’t really matter and insignificant on a greater scale? I guess this stems from that unreasonable desire of wanting to make a name for myself and leaving a mark on the world. I want to, if not be, at least create something that can inspire and resonate to others ❤

○recreate

•Speaking of creating, I used to think that creating art was just a hobby of mine. But now, I create in order to survive. Therapy? Escape? Salvation? Call it whatever you want. Creating made me able to breathe again. I want to keep creating. I want to put my everything into all of my crafts. They serve as the materialization of my joy, rage, pleasure, sins, punishment, glee, vanity, of every emotion and thoughts I have. They are my desire, insecurities, hostility, and vengeance. My art is both me and not me. They are fragments of myself, for either something that completes me or something that would make me lose myself. No matter what the canvas is, I’d strive to forge something. Stories, design and layout, photographs, makeup, coffee—I want to explore all of them and get the first-hand experience of doing it.

The idea is to “re:ryan” meaning to “ryan again”, to claim my old self back. As much as I hate and cringe over past me, I would say I’m much more happier and bolder back then.

The whole brand also revolves around self-love and self-empowerment and embracing the darkness within one’s self. I want to tell everyone that monsters indeed live within us. It’s embedded to us. It’s what make us humans after all. And it is okay. It’s okay to feel insecure to that rich and pretty girl in your class, it is okay to feel jealous on someone else’s life, it’s okay to feel unreasonably mad about something. The important thing is, being aware of it, and what you do after realizing and accepting the reason of why you’re feeling a certain way. Embrace your darkness, it what makes you who you are. It’s the negative space that makes your passion and personality stand out ❤😁

Yeah… talking about that… I’m admitting something. The first pillar, rewrite… is actually meant for something else. It’s to keep rewriting that letter. I call it the “Letter of No Return”. For years, a temporary logout doesn’t work anymore, more than a reset button, I want to completely terminate my account and delete my character from this crappy game called “Life”. If you ask me, nowadays, I still want to end it all, actually, I don’t really mind if a sudden “Game Over” came flashing to me. But, for some whatever reason it may be, I want to finish this game without regrets, I keep wondering, how strong the “Last Boss” would be, how many shitty and fun side quests would I receive, on what “level” would I reach, how many “EXP points” would I cringe and be proud of. I keep wondering. That’s why I want to keep rewriting that letter. Rewrite and rewrite until I can proudly tear it off and not rely on it as a cheat code to “Esc”.

[utopianparadoxist]

Jake English likes to fight, and likes the Brobot.

TW: Physicality, Discussion of Physical combat

So, like. It’s long past time I wrote about my favorite character in this webcomic. Jake English is the best and most interesting character in Homestuck, and it’s pretty tragic that barely anybody knows it. This is partly due to Jake’s narrative and personality being one of the most understated and subtle in the comic, but it’s also due to a Fandom Narrative building up around him that unfortunately  paves over a lot of Jake’s most unique and interesting character traits. Let’s try and rediscover this diamond in the rough as we wait for the game that will largely center around an alternate version of him, yeah? Here, I’m going to debunk some pretty common misconceptions about Jake, what he likes, and what he dislikes.  Brawls, Wrestling--Scrums and Whatnot. And the Brobot. Let’s put it plainly: Jake English likes fights. A lot of the discourse surrounding Jake’s relationship with the Brobot seems to ignore this, or implies that the Brobot, like, Ruined Fighting for him somehow because it was outside of what he initially envisioned when Dirk sent it:

A point commonly further backed up with this quote Jake gives Jane: 

There’s a few issues with this interpretation. Jake’s initial negative reaction is his very first encounter with the Brobot, and his quote with Jane is one he delivers as a passing remark. And by simply comparing Jake’s actions before and after the Brobot is sent, we can tell Jake really wouldn’t rather deal with the monsters. Before the Brobot is sent, when Jake is 13, he explicitly avoids going outside:

Which is easy to link to being afraid of the monsters, since Jake complains about them himself...

And has no problem going outside three years later, after the Brobot is sent. To some extent, this can be put down to Jake’s increased experience and competence. But...

That clearly doesn’t account for the entire shift, since Jake does indeed need the Brobot to save him. I’ll come back to that later, but really, we don’t even need to do all this backwards story introspection to decide what Jake Really Feels. It would be easier to just listen to the guy himself.  So yes, Jake complains about the Brobot to Jane in one passing remark...while he’s still dancing around the tangled web of his relationships with Jane, Dirk, and Roxy. A period of time when Jake, by his own admission, is thinking very much about what other people think and not entirely being honest with the people around him.  What does Jake say when he is being honest, though? What does he tell John in his letter, which Jake wrote when he was 16, after 3 years of dealing with the Brobot?

What does he tell Caliborn--who’s opinion he doesn’t care about--after entering the session, after 6 months of dating Dirk?

And what does he tell Jane about the Brobot when he’s actually being honest with her--which he’ll CONTINUE to do for six months, complaining about all of Dirk’s myriad issues and shortcomings as a romantic partner...without ever once bringing up the specter of physical fear or discomfort?

Wait, hang on. Let’s zoom in on that one, that one’s important:

Woah. Is that Jake conceptually linking the Brobot...to the thing he was most consistently excited about for the entire comic? Interesting. Wild. What could it mean. It would almost imply that after spending three years with the thing, he doesn’t really hate the experience of having it in his life.  Again, Jake is no stranger to complaining about Dirk over the course of their session--he complains to Jane endlessly about him, as well as to Erisol and even Caliborn a little. (Though never Roxy, hmm...I wonder why...(I know why and I’ll get to it in another post.))

But he never really complains about fighting or about the Brobot in general, and his general attitude towards fights seems to be changed absolutely not at all whatsoever--right up to [S] Credits. And he ultimate views Dirk as a figure of comfort and safety, so much so that he trusts Dirk with protecting him even more than he trusts Grandma or his own powers--after all, even after Brain Ghost Dirk tells him that he wouldn’t need him if he unlocked his hope potential, Jake still chooses to simply make Brain Ghost Dirk real rather than doing anything on his own when he wants to feel safe:

So yeah, I find the idea that Jake was bothered by the Brobot on any meaningful level pretty hard to square with the avalanche of counterevidence that is in the canon. The Brobot was an imperfect gift, but Jake still ultimately enjoyed it.   Jake English likes to fight. Plain and simple. This is weird to a lot of people, and that’s fine, but it’s not actually that uncommon. There’s plenty of sports that center around fighting or come with the risk of physical harm, like boxing, martial arts, etc. I’m a longtime fencer, and I genuinely liked going without protective padding and getting bruised from the sword impacts. Physicality appeals to some people.  Jake’s love for fighting established, feel free to join me tomorrow and we’ll take on a smaller issue. A tighter one. 

I’ve written an obnoxious amount about Dirk, but seeing how quickly I was able to put that Dirk post out, I decided I’d like to use the next couple days to put out similar smaller posts about the other Alphas--Jake, Roxy, and Jane, In that order. I’ve got at least two more posts of Jake in me before we move on to Roxy, and I should be putting out at least one of these posts a day--the next one’s already pretty much written, so I may post it early in the day tomorrow.   Hopefully, by doing this I can help people understand just how tangled and complicated the tangles of mutual hurt and mutual love are in this group of friends, and why I love this severely underrated group of Homestuck characters. If you enjoyed this post and think others like it would be interesting to you, well--stay tuned. If you have a counterargument or you disagree with this post, feel free to respond and I’ll do my best to get back to you. I enjoy testing my ideas so long as we’re all nice about it. Keep rising. 

[margeredelicia]

Why I Need to Create Art

People usually view hobbies as an “escape from reality”, a way to take a break from the taxing responsibilities and toxic environment that we have in every day life. That is not my motivation in creating art though.

I don’t create art to escape reality, rather I create art in order to understand it. I’m taking the world head on, not making a new one for myself. When there are things happening around me and inside of me that’s beyond my immediate comprehension, I seek for the best words/shots/melodies to describe them. It’s just like how in studying where we sometimes make charts and graphs to be able to comprehend complicated concepts. That way, I can explain myself better to myself.  Basically, I create art to be able to attain a greater degree of self-awareness.  

You might be saying, “Woah, self-awareness, big word” so here I googled the definition already for you haha: Self-awareness is the capacity for introspection and the ability to recognize oneself as an individual separate from the environment and other individuals. In my own words, it’s about knowing who you are and where you are at. When problems and challenges arise, self-awareness lets me know what steps I can do to help myself out and what I should let go of because they are just beyond my control. It keeps me from exerting more than what I can give and inflicting unnecessary pain to myself. Well, self-awareness doesn’t make my challenges any easier, but at least it makes me harder to bring down.

It may sound a bit selfish how I’m saying that I do art for myself and my life, but actually self-awareness is different from self-absorption. The former makes you healthy and equips you to give to others, the latter does nothing but demand out of lack (more on this in some other blog post maybe).

Indeed, art is more than just a hobby that I do in my spare time, it is an activity that I make time for because it helps me get the most out of life. I know that most of my artworks are in black and white, but art really added color into my life ;)