#wka

[z-and-the-space-child]

hey. hey y'all. if you loved that W359 (or any other podcast that comes to mind) had it's own soundtrack and great sound editing and characters that loved to ramble, I highly implore you to listen to "Who killed Alaska". wonderful show right there. it's also a murder mystery with 2 perspectives who eventually meet. and a found family in progress. if you even care

[thrvshmonkey]

Cornering for my homies team today. We 3-0 so far and still have at least 3 more fights today. Then there’s tomorrow…

[ranchthoughts]

✨2023: A Summary✨

Post your most popular and/or favourite edit/gifset/analysis for each month (it’s okay to skip months!)

Tagged by @lurkingshan (here) and @wen-kexing-apologist (here). Thanks for the tags!

In 2023, I made 175 original posts, including 45 metas about 12 different shows and two large scale projects (the GMMTV Multiverse and the GMMTV Kissing charts). It was interesting to see what meta (and how much) I had written in which months. It's also fun looking back as I approach my one year anniversary of watching and writing about BL - I'm so grateful for all the wonderful people I've met and gotten to chat with over these past months!

January and February [0 metas]

I wasn’t on BL Tumblr yet! Any and all meta came in the form of thoughts, texts, and powerpoint presentations.

March [6 metas]

My BL Tumblr debut! I started this blog with the intention of 1) more easily gathering and archiving posts for future reference, and 2) collecting my thoughts somewhere other than text threads and my notes app, so I began posting meta the day I got here.

Most popular: what started as me thinking about Win’s rock t-shirt from ep 11 and then grew from there… - reading a lot into a random Thai ql shirt choice? Me?

Favourite(s): Thoughts on Tinn, his mother, and coming out (part 1, part 2); Thoughts on Tinn, his mother, and music - My first meta ever posted! I keep returning to Tinn and his mother's relationship in My School President...

April [1 meta]

By default, the most popular (and favourite): Gun's feelings are realistic - I love when MSP subverts our expectations

May [13 metas]

Oh damn! This was a big meta month for me. Some of my favourite metas I've ever written were posted this month.

Most popular: The Eighth Sense and Missing Pieces - I am really proud of this one. It also made me laugh that I apologized for the length at the beginning when I would go on to post much, MUCH longer metas.

Favourite(s): Thoughts on genre, tropes, Bad Buddy, and My School President (aka my Bad Buddy and MSP thesis, which began life as a powerpoint presentation... now here's one of those much, MUCH longer metas in question); Wai as a faen fatale (which also began life as part of that same powerpoint presentation and I think perfectly encapsulates my analytical style); Conversations in ITSAY that are about more than they seem (I am really proud of the analysis I did here and the writing style I used to present it). This was also the month in which I started my deeply self-indulgent GMMTV Multiverse project, which later inspired my mission to record all GMMTV kisses.

June [11 metas]

Oh nooo another bunch of my favourites. This is cruel to make me choose.

Most popular: Thinking about Pran's "Pat, you've got to stop doing this to me" (I love this one! and this was the first of several times I've gotten to collaborate with the wonderful @dudeyuri)

Favourite(s): An analysis of the baseball mom shirt, Bad Buddy ep. 5 (my entry into the venerable field of Bad Buddy/ql shirt analysis and also encapsulates pretty much everything I try to do in my metas); An impassioned defense of the Bad Buddy ep. 5 rooftop kiss (combines many of my favourite things: reading deeply into the minute details of Bad Buddy, an analytical framework that just clicks itself together as I write, and literature reviews); and Thinking about Snow White as the engineering play, part 1 (shout out to the two other people going ham on Snow White as an allegory during the Our Skyy 2 madness - @chickenstrangers (here) and @letgomaggie (here))

July [3 metas]

Most popular (and favourite): Thinking about Pat, Pran, and pursuit (I think this was my first time articulating the idea of Pat and Pran's commitment to the bit, a concept which continues to circle in my head. This was also another collaboration with the wonderful @dudeyuri!)

August [7 metas]

Here comes Only Friends... and the GMMTV Kissing Multiverse project.

Most popular: GMMTV Kissing Multiverse updates 1, 2 and 3 (this is so much fun to track and analyze, and I've been really touched by everyone else's excitement for the project too); Various thoughts and musings on Only Friends and ephemerality (the Ephemerality Squad assembles!)

Favourite: Thinking about Boston: a study of episode 3 - I find Boston's mind a fascinating place to explore

September [8 metas]

Oh look! It's more Only Friends!

Most popular: Mansplain, Manipulate, Manwhore: Ray confronting Boston - once again, I love getting into Boston's head. This post was inspired by @wen-kexing-apologist's scene breakdowns, especially their Fight Night one

Favourite(s): The above, and also The Mundanity of Meanness

October [5 metas]

Most popular (and favourite): The first fist bump in Bad Buddy - oof. I've gotta come back to this idea sometime.

November [3 metas]

Most popular: The Latest Update to the Kissing Multiverse - the hotly anticipated post-Only Friends update to the kissing charts

Favourite: the kissing charts, and Thinking about Pat, Pran, and competition - again, I love to think about Pat and Pran. I consider this one to be part of an ongoing series, along with my earlier metas on pursuit and the rooftop.

December [1 meta]

Most popular (and favourite): Not Me and earrings - technically an addition on @chickenstrangers' post, but was a relief to get my months old "Not Me is about ears and earrings!" thoughts out.

some no pressure tags: @chickenstrangers, @distant-screaming, @dudeyuri, @neuroticbookworm, @slayerkitty, @telomeke, @twig-tea, @waitmyturtles

[codajaiden]

I stayed up the whole night for the funnies, I didn't think I would win the RR art contest tho lmao

Anyways, ask box is open, I'm taking in questions or ask me about my HCs about SCU and RR stuff

[hopeworth]

…. holds him…..

[eldritch-nightmare]

do you ever think about how slender probably shares its life force with its proxies because all of its proxies are humans and humans are very fragile creatures so for the sake of not having to get a replacement every other week it just decided to find a way to share its life force with them??

i'm just thinking about toby, specifically. since he has cipa, he literally is in constant risk of losing his life so being a proxy only puts him in even more danger. and then slender is literally Impossible to kill, so i'm just thinking about toby getting severely injured and being on the brink of death.

he's so close to finally being able to close his eyes and let go, only for slender to pop up and somehow transfer its own life force into his, just so toby will survive long enough to get proper medical treatment (aka ej or dr smiley since they're the only ones who know how to treat severe wounds)

i imagine this being viewed as a blessing by some and a curse by others. it only ever uses this ability on its proxies, so it's not like slender puts its life in any danger by doing this. i mean, it's an eldritch horror of unknown origins so who knows how long its lifespan is.

i have no idea what im saying actually im incredibly tired and words are meshing together in my mind im gonna wake up in the morning and see this and become very deeply confused

[cordycepsbian]

Vital question. Are Levi and Celia swapped with anyone and do they still walk into a cave and get immediately taken out by the bug they're trying to arrest?

no tbey're doing the tavenr stuff. shady backhand deals Put Those Sheep Away It's Not Your Turn/ij. doppel and shades walk into the cave and get curbstomped by carmina that happens

[oh-bonerline]

speaking of writing, I missed when it originally happened because I'm writing in two separate docs at this point but WKAS has now surpassed 300k words 😭😭

[waitmyturtles]

Dear my dearest friend, @wen-kexing-apologist​,

If peer pressure is what gets you to give to me, and to us, one of the most motherfucking SHARP analytical lenses on these shows -- one of the MOST IMPORTANT LENSES besides the Thai/Asian lens, the analytical lens of the queer experience of the characters we are watching -- then give me all the fuck yous, and I’ll take them, and hold them in my little drama-addled-aching heart. 

THIS WAS BRILLIANT, WKA. 

Since I’m done watching He’s Coming To Me, let me go there with Aof for a moment. He REALLY has his themes that he likes, right?

Community/queer community Internalized/externalized homophobia Family and family trauma Stars Moon Sex scores Etc.

One thing that struck me a lot about what you were writing is that: not only do we know so much MORE about Pat AND Pran together as a couple, we also know a lot about PAT AND PRAN THEMSELVES. We’ve met their families, their friends, we’ve seen their schools, we’ve seen what they like to eat. We’ve seen them socializing, flirting, being themselves.

We also know Tian way better than Phupha. We’ve met Tian’s friends and family, we’ve seen his car (woops), and we’ve met his parents and been in his room in his house. 

I can’t help but recall that we had to do similar guessing about life experiences and events with Loong Jim in Moonlight Chicken. These older, reticent queer characters who just really don’t give inches on themselves, even while younger men (MIX) pursue and court them. 

Because, I’m going to guess, Aof relates to that experience. As you wrote so well, WKA: Pat is terrorizing the local gay elder. Pat can do that because, in true Pat fashion, Pat EMBODIES and BODIES his identity, to his bones (heh heh, bone). Remember at the start of Bad Buddy, homeboy was a toughie, because that’s how his friends and father set him up, and he EMBODIED that role. As you wrote, when he realized that he was in love with Pran, Pat moved fast, because that’s who he is -- and then, and now, he’s EMBODIED the role of that love, because his upbringing DEMANDED that Pat EMBODY whatever role he’s put into/whatever role he wants to take on. 

But Aof, and Phupha, and Jim, come from different generations. These guys are around my age, or almost my age (late thirties/early 40s). When we were in high school, there was nothing BUT homophobia. No LGBTQ+ clubs, no “out” rhetoric that we were being taught. Nada. Some of my SE Asian cousins my age could only show support for the LGBTQ+ community once they had moved out of the region. WKA, I think it was @bengiyo​ who brought up that Phupha is very aware of how sensitive the local Pha Pun Dao kids are to hints of same-sex interactions, and he’s likely hyperaware of that, but... we just don’t know much about him. 

And I think Aof is DOING. THAT. ON. PURPOSE. BECAUSE. the gay elders are people that we WOULDN’T know that much about -- because THEY were raised, and raised themselves, to be far more secretive than the youngsters who came after and could be more bold and more out.

NOW: THE THING THAT’S SO LAYERED AND BRILLIANT that you point out is that Pat and Pran ARE ALSO CLOSETED, but in a different way, because of their families and the fucking family rivalry. That doesn’t have to do with Big Homophobia, per se, but: IT IS HOMOPHOBIC. Right? 

BUT: because, OTHERWISE, in Pat and Pran’s world, if the family rivalry didn’t exist, then -- LIKE INK AND PA -- Pat and Pran COULD be out, very comfortably. Because their families otherwise (well, we don’t quite know about Dissaya) wouldn’t give a hoot about the same-sex aspect to the relationship. It’s the fucking family rivalry that messes that damn shit up, and creates this OTHER WAY of homophobia that the boys have to deal with. 

And we see -- as you so noted, @wen-kexing-apologist, because you pay attention to the bodies -- that Pat and Pran are otherwise out, because outside of that homophobia, they are literally glued to each other.

We just don’t know a lot about Phupha, that’s it, and I think your analysis comes the closest to anything I’ve read about getting insight into who he really is, and how he’s carrying these last two episodes. And I’m desperately thankful to Aof and Earth for giving us Earth’s characters in gay elders to reflect this fucking reality, because it’s a fucking important reality, and a lens that we awllll need to be aware of when we watch these damn important shows and learn more about the queer experience in Thailand and Asia vis à vis generations.

THANK YOU FRIEND @wen-kexing-apologist​. I hope you got good sleep last night, because you’re brilliant and ILY. I owe you some rice and curry and cocktails in exchange for this!

Bad Buddy x ATOTS aka Damn You WMT

Dear @waitmyturtles, fuck you, respectfully wen-kexing-apologist. Turts, I have shit to do, I do not have time for this. But once again I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT SO, FUCK ME I GUESS WE’RE DOING A FOREST EPISODE. 

More specifically, we are doing an Our Skyy 2, Episode 15 Part 1/4 post, probably far earlier than I should be, and definitely instead of doing work I absolutely need to be doing. But Pat and Phupa’s interactions in this part of the episode have me thinking about Phupa and his relationship to queerness. 

I don’t know about anyone else, but I had a marvelous time watching Part 1 of our latest Bad Buddy x ATOTS crossover episode. Why? Because it is absolutely incredibly fun to watch Pat personally terrorize the local gay elder. 

What I have really been enjoying in these crossover episodes is watching the ways the similarities and differences in Phupa, Pat, Pran, and Tian play out. Each person spends most of the time paired with the character who play the same role in the relationship but whose personalities and approaches to their relationships are very different. Phupa is the support in his relationship with Tian, Pat is the support in his relationship with Pran, but Phupa never bends and Pat always gives in. 

The thing I love about Pat is that he is unabashed in his queerness, he rolls up on to the scene and starts flirting the second he opens his mouth, and then he 

Literally

Never

Stops

He annoys Pran, he tests the structural integrity of the house with Pran, sure, but he also wakes up next to Phupa and then proceeds to never let Phupa forget that a) he would and b) that they thought they might have. 

He rolls up on the scene as Phupa and his coworker are getting ready to head into the forest, and he starts talking openly and loudly about Phupa’s boyfriend, and the relationship problems they are having. 

Phupa is less than amused.

Phupa does not want Pat coming with him, Pat sneaks into the back of the truck, Phupa begrudgingly allows Pat to come with him and Pat says “you’re the cutest”

Phupa is less than amused. 

I’m gonna skip ahead a little bit and then regress if that is okay with everyone, after Phupa puts bandaid’s on Pat says yet again “what a cute print, Chief”, “you have a cute side, Chief” 

“No wonder teacher is head over heels for you,” 

Here Pat is, one half of the first queer couple to interact with Phupa and Tian in god knows how long or possibly ever, talking casually, happily, loudly, and openly about Phupa’s relationship with Tian and Tian’s feelings for Phupa. Reaffirming to Phupa in a way that it is obvious that Tian is in love with him.  

And still Phupa is not having it. 

As they continue their walk, Pat starts smelling the trees and Phupa is like oh jesus fucking christ what the hell are you doing you are making my life a living hell- “What are you doing?” 

And in response, Pat is very open and sappy about Pran. 

gif from @liyazaki

“Pran smells so good, if he is nearby, I can find him,” and Phupa is flabbergasted. He just stands there for a second, looking Pat up and down like “okay, seriously…what the fuck?” and he is so obvious about it in the way he looks at Pat and in the way he walks away, that Pat is able to tell immediately that Phupa is, once again, not vibing with Pat’s casual references to his queerness, or overt and honest love and admission of intimacy with his partner. Pat knows Pran’s scent so well that he is confident he could pick it up in the middle of the forest. That suggests a level of familiarity with a body that would traditionally be considered uncouth, if you were polite, and doubly so if you are queer. 

gif from @liyazaki

When Phupa starts walking like he’s over the conversation, Pat’s easy smile shifts to confusion “What? Haven’t you smelled Teacher’s body before?” 

(Translation: Aren’t you also so in love with your partner, and aren’t you so intimate with your partner that you could recognize his scent anywhere you went? Looking at you watermelon soap sponsorship…looking at you tea bag smell pouch…)

And it’s the inclusion of the word body that really strikes me here, because to say “what? Haven’t you smelled Teacher before?” evokes a different relationship than “What? Haven’t you smelled Teacher’s body?” does. 

“That’s too bad” Pat says, and leans suggestively close to Phupa. Like a cat toying with a mouse. Pat likes needling at Phupa’s discomfort around explicit references to Pat and Pran’s sex life. And while we know Phupa has most certainly smelled Tian’s body before, Phupa SPINS around, has this brief moment of absolute wide eye about being so blatantly asked a question that alludes to his physical relationship to and with Tian, looks Pat dead in the eye and says “I’m not a pervert like you,”

gif from @liyazaki

Harsh words. Incredibly harsh words, especially because of the connotations of queerness with perversion, especially because iirc from the KinnPorsche LGBTQ+ Facts special on IQIYI, pervert is often an insult used in Thailand for queer people. Phupa is uncomfortable with Pat’s open conversation about his queer relationship, about his queer intimacy and he chooses to meet Pat with homophobia in the way of a slur. 

But Pat is having fun, and I honestly believe he expects that kind of reaction. Pat and Pran were awkward witnesses to Tian and Phupa’s little domestic about watching him shower and looking lovingly into their eyes, but Phupa is stiff the whole time, he is aware that he is engaging in that conversation while other people are present, and he can’t take it and he literally flees. And some of that is because he is getting riled up about their fight, but we see in part 2 of this episode that when Phupa is actually angry with Tian about something, he has no problem standing up and planting his feet to confront Tian about it. 

Anyway, Pat is having fun, and Pat wants to test Phupa and so, completely unphased he starts talking about how Tian smells, as if he is familiar. He is like "my boyfriend smells soooo good, do you smell your boyfriend's body? Your boyfriend smells good" and it’s a direct display of Pat's comfortability with his partner, their closeness, and their level of intimacy. 

“Teacher Tian smells so good” Pat says with the world’s widest grin 

“How do you know that?” Phupa asks almost challenging

“I thought you said you’d never smelled him” 

gif from @liyazaki

Caught ya. Phupa has indirectly admitted to intimacy. Pat has successfully engaged Phupa in a conversation that is completely about Phupa’s queerness. 

And as Part 2 goes on, we are made more and more aware of how little outward public affection Phupa and Tian engage in. If Phupa and Tian touch around other people, there has to be a legitimate reason to do so (Tian fainted, Tian fainted again, Tian fainted a third time, Tian is drunk, Phupa is drunk, etc.). In this episode, Tian is weak and almost collapses in to Phupa’s arms because he exerted himself too much with his heart. Phupa’s hand is on Tian’s back and then Tian is away from him and standing upright, and when Phupa, Tian, Pat, and Pran exit the forest and enter the clearing of the safe house. 

Pat is using Pran as a crutch, and Phupa and Tian have placed a child in between them. They are not touching, they aren’t even standing all that close to each other. Phupa is in ranger mode, sure, but he’s not really in front of people he has to impress, he doesn’t have to be completely professional and on guard when they are in the shack together. Especially when his partner with a body that is currently trying to reject his heart, is sitting there looking on the verge of a heart attack. 

Phupa is making direct eye contact with Tian here, he is worried about Tian here, his focus is on Tian here, and yet he does not offer any physical comfort. No reassuring touch, no forehead kiss, hell, not even a hand on the back of his head to check for fever. He’s focused on getting the radio working, which is incredibly important in case there is a medical emergency, but he does not spare a second to physically ground him and Tian. He can only look from a distance. Because there are other people around, there is a child around. Phupa can’t be seen engaging in homosexual softness, Phupa has to be seen as a forest ranger, doing his job, his actual job that involves rescuing his stubborn dumbass boyfriend from yet again getting lost in the forest, but does not involve him being in love. 

Again, Phupa truly has no one here he needs to impress, he’s in a room with a child, his boyfriend, and a couple of nuisances that have shown him absolutely zero respect since the moment they waltzed in to his neck of the woods. 

At dinner even, after things have settled down, Phupa still cannot bring himself close to Tian in front of prying eyes. 

Pat and Pran? Literally sitting side by side, knees touching. They are as close to each other as they possibly can be without literally sitting in each other’s laps. 

Here is a close up of Pat and Pran literally making physical contact with each other at the knee and at the elbow. 

And what Phupa and Tian do not know, is that Pat and Pran can't be outwardly and openly affectionate to one another in public when they are at school and so they make up for it by being disgusting when they aren't in school. Pat and Pran have to keep up a pretense, and its a tragic undertone to their ability to diffuse the brewing Tian and Phupa fight by looking at each other, nodding, and then improvising a fight realistic enough to get Phupa and Tian to pull them apart. 

Because Pat and Pran’s relationship at home is a metaphor for external homophobia, because they are so used to it by now, the having to hide, to pretend they don’t like each other, to pretend they are mad, to pretend they aren’t in love, that they can just ease right in to staged fights at the drop of a fucking hat. But even in their fake fight they wind up pressed up against each other. 

(hehe, screen shot funny, look at Phupa, he zoomin’)

Because for so long the only way they could have physical contact in public was by fighting, was by beating each other up, was by pushing or pulling each other away from a fight. Pat and Pran understand that Tian and Phupa are having a fight that they also once had, but they can also see the parts underneath it, the parts that make Phupa ask why the emphasis on him in Tian’s story is about Phupa being in love with Tian rather than his work. 

Pat is simultaneously taking the opportunity of being hours and hours away from home, from where he has to hide his relationship, to be as openly and obviously in love with Pran as he has always been and is telling Phupa he is safe to be gay around. That he and Pran are safe people to be gay around, are safe people for him to be openly affectionate with his boyfriend around. 

And that stems from the parts of Pat and Phupa that are wildly different. 

Like, it is very very notable that Pat confesses his feelings for Pran practically as soon as he realizes that he has feelings for him and initiates the rooftop kiss which they share before they are even together, and then they have a bunch of little kisses, and they sneak as many touches as they can, and they make out multiple times in the show 

And Phupa and Tian have…a single forehead kiss and then one kiss, at the top of a mountain, where no one would ever be able to see them after their story is complete. 

In last week’s crossover episode, the level of intimacy that Phupa engages in with Tian is called out, even by Aof himself with the roleplaying scene between Pat and Pran where they pretend to be Phupa and Tian putting up a mosquito net and conclude that they absolutely must have kissed then. 

But we know they didn’t. We know how painstakingly long it takes for Phupa and Tian to reach that level of intimacy with one another. 

I'm even thinking backstory-wise, what is forest ranger training like? Is it part of the military? Did Phupa's gay ass have to enlist in a presumably male dominated field and like, go to training, and be around a bunch of guys, and make sure they didn't suspect he was gay?

I’m thinking about the moments in last week’s episode where it seemed like things were going better between Phupa and Tian, and it was always when Phupa was physically affectionate with Tian, putting his arm around him and not letting him go, when they were at karaoke, and when they were drunkenly stumbling home together, again locked in eachother’s embrace, where anyone could see them. 

To regress as I promised back to the leech scene I am struck by what the approach to removing the leeches says about Pat and Phupa respectively. 

Pat rips the leech off of him and Phupa takes time to put a lighter to them and pluck them off in a way that does not hurt Pat

Pat rips the leech off and bleeding for it, hurting himself in the process, because he is impulsive and impatient, Pat bleeds emotion, he's practically incapable of hiding what he's feeling, and he must obey his emotions before all else. Therefore, in Bad Buddy Episode 5, when he realizes he has feelings for Pran, Pat immediately has to talk to Pran about his feelings, immediately leans in to the emotion he is feeling in the present moment, and initiates a kiss. A kiss that leaves him feeling blissful, and that leaves him hurt because Pran walks away, because Pran has known forever how much he likes Pat, because Pat has only just figured out his feelings, he hasn’t had to sit with them for long, and yet that kiss is an equally strong release for both of them. When Phupa removes the leech from Pat’s leg he is methodical and patient, he tries to minimize the wound, it takes longer but it has the same result which is why it takes so damn long for him and Tian to get together. When I watches ATOTS and they touched pinkies under that blanket and I went "ah yes! This is the part where you start making out and fucking cause they are adults who have maybe been in a relationship before and who have both been obviously painfully aware of their feelings for eachother since the moment they laid eye on each other"...and then they don’t. Phupa waits, and waits, and waits. 

I think the fundamental thing that I see replaying in this episode especially, and with Pat and Phupa’s interactions especially is the elder versus younger queer mentality we got in Moonlight Chicken, with very different characters from Jim and Li Ming, but following a similar pattern of restraint and time versus just jumping right in. 

And it’s also why I think the conversation between Pran and Phupa is so important:

gifs by @nanons

Pat and Pran’s need to keep their relationship secret because of their family’s, and because of Pran’s mom specifically is a metaphor for external homophobia. Pat and Pran are extremely comfortable in their sexuality, very open in their love for one another when they are amongst other queer people, or amongst allies, when they are away from their hometown or when they are in the privacy of their homes. 

There are a lot of different pieces in play around Phupa and Tian’s relationship, but there is ultimately a metaphor at the most or a blatant sense at the least of internal homophobia on the part of Phupa. 

Pat has chosen to stay “in the closet” in order to be with Pran. In a convo with @shortpplfedup about this, Nini said it the most accurate and heart wrenching line: “It's honestly that Pran can't really ever compare to Pat's sacrifice here, and he KNOWS it,” 

Similarly, Phupa believes that Tian has made a sacrifice to be with him, and he knows it. Which is why he can’t bring himself to go to Tian’s birthday, because Tian has left before, because he is scared every time Tian goes that he will realize that Phupa isn’t enough. Because Phupa is afraid of being seen as Tian’s partner. Because Phupa is really only capable of being physically affectionate behind closed doors. When they are completely alone.  Cause even in the camp, when the child is sleeping and Pat and Pran are off literally fucking in the tent minding their own goddamn business, Phupa cannot bring himself to touch Tian.

They’re sharing place but not space, or whatever it was that Ayan said to Akk in their Our Skyy 2 episodes. When Phupa gives Tian his medicine, at most their fingers brush, they don’t sit down together, they don’t ground themselves with touch. They share this place, but they do not encroach on each other’s personal space…

…until Phupa falls asleep

gif by @earthpirapat

At which point Tian gets up, and places his blanket on him, and physical touches his arm, his shoulder, etc. as he is adjusting the blanket for him. 

Tian initiates the touch, Tian stayed in the village with him, Tian is sacrificing his health to be here with Phupa. Phupa has spent 90% of his time alone with the bouncing ball of sunshine that is Pat, and 5% of his time with the chaotic homosexual energy of Pat and Pran together, and to be real, as much as we know about Pat and Pran’s relationship, and as much depth as we are able to pull from these specific characters interacting in the way they do, Phupa has no idea what Pat and Pran have been through to be where they are. 

To anyone who does not know Pat and Pran’s story, they seem like nothing more than two horny young adults in love, who feel no need to hide themselves and their queerness away, that have never had a struggle in their life, and do not understand the trials and tribulations of navigating an older queer relationship, who will last the length of a honeymoon period and then disappear at the first sign of real conflict. Thus, I think Phupa grossly underestimates the company he is currently keeping.

So I think, personally, Phupa is kinda of struck by the sudden and unexpected depth that comes from Pran. That Pran is able to identify and then absolutely hone in and strike at the exact things that Phupa is struggling with. As much as Pat has both relished in the freedom he has to be disgustingly in love with his boyfriend in the woods, and as much as Pat has tried to make himself an obviously safe person to be openly gay around, Phupa is incapable of understanding what he can learn from Pat and Pran’s relationship until he realizes these boys have a lot more in common with him than he thought, and that their relationship and their relationship to one another is more complex and therefore more similar to him and Tian’s situation than he would like. 

Pran and Phupa carry the weight of feeling like nothing they do will ever compare to the sacrifices their partner has made to be with them. I didn’t get much in to Pat and Tian here, but their interaction makes it clear that they both carry the weight of feeling like their partner does not need them. 

Phupa has literally saved Tian’s life on numerous occasions, Tian is chronically ill, Tian has limitations. Phupa is a forest ranger, who is a foundation in his community, who is skilled and competent, and fiercely independent. Pat is disorganized, and impulsive, his father is the reason he and Pran can’t be open about their relationship, he is the reason Pran got sent away. 

We get a fun reversal with dynamics in these Bad Buddy x ATOTS episodes because Tian and Phupa are older, but Pat and Pran have an entire lifetime of navigating and overcoming conflict under their belt. Pat and Pran have already weathered the storm of the fight that Tian and Phupa are having. They have already settled in to who they are, but Pat and Pran (Pran especially) are able to see the ways that always giving in and never backing down wears on a person. Pran learns from seeing the pain that Tian is in that being uncompromising might cause fractures in their relationship in the future. 

Tian and Phupa (Phupa especially) are learning how to resolve their conflicts. Pran, who is holding on to Tian and Phupa’s story so tightly because it is shared, because it is open, because anyone who wants to can know about it, pushes Phupa, who cannot cope with being portrayed as being in love with Tian, to read all of the diary Tian published online. Pran pushes Phupa to push through the emotional blocks, to push past his initial concerns, and to assume Tian wrote and published this story with both an understanding of who is partner is and what Phupa is comfortable with, and with no intention of hurting anybody. 

Anyway, all of this to say, that this episode has really made me analyze Phupa with an internalized homophobia lens, and though one can never trust a P’Aof trailer, it has left me with two impressions. 

On the subject of Phupa and internalized homophobia, and needing to move past that (and more) in order for his relationship with Tian to survive this fight, @shortpplfedup said it best: 

“Now I'm thinking about one moment from the preview (but just a moment!) where Phupha tells Tian he's not gonna sneak to look at him, he's gonna OPENLY look at him”

And cause it seems like Phupa learned some things from the Bothersome Boys:

--

Case in point:

Here's multiple hours of my life I will never get back, at least I had fun! Time to go do the work I was supposed to be doing tonight :p

That's all folks!

[fluffienosaurus]

wake up!!!! wake up dawwing!!!! wake up!!!!!!!!!!! wake up honey!!!!!! wake up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[twig-tea]

Love in the Big City TV Series Episodes 1 &2: The Loneliness of Conformity and Nonconformity

[Wondering what’s going on here? In Feb-Mar of this year a bunch of us agreed to read the Love in the Big City novel one part per week and write pieces in response to the novel and @bengiyo’s excellent discussion questions weekly, which was a fantastic experience. @lurkingshan did the driving and wrangling and organizing, and compiled all of the meta from that period here . Now we’re watching and responding the series on the same cadence, 1 part (2 episodes) per week, and Shan is once again wrangling us and Ben is again providing excellent discussion questions to help inspire responses. Like last time, rather than answer the discussion questions directly, I’ll let them inform the directions my thoughts take. Also re: romanization, I’m going to use Go Yeong for the TV adaptation and Young for the novel since they seem to have standardized his name to “Yeong” at least on Viki, and that provides some distinction which is convenient]. 

In my written response to part 1 of the novel I talked about how Young was an unreliable narrator, because he was so dissociated from his own emotions that he didn’t often notice when he was having them. The loss of the bulk of the first person narration is inevitable in an adaptation to a visual medium, but I think these episodes still captured Young’s general disconnect to his emotions especially in episode 1. There are moments where he smiles that felt almost jarring, like smiling is his default response even if it’s emotionally a mismatch. The change in perspective in the series also means we see beyond Young’s POV, so we get the Mi Ae outing scene (which as @lurkingshan laid out, lent Mi Ae more sympathy than Jaehee was represented with in the novel) which really underscored that in that moment, she chose her future husband and the person she was becoming over her best friend and the person she used to be. I liked how the series included the karaoke scene with the T-ara's shading Nam Gyu so that we had context for what Yeong expected when he went to dinner with Mi Ae and Jun Ho, and how different Mi Ae's behaviour was to his expectations (instead of his commentary about it that we got from his first person narration in the novel).

Like @starryalpacasstuff pointed out, I liked how the argument in the show between Yeong and Mi Ae after she outed him made it more obvious that part of the reason why Yeong was so upset was that he was already hurt by Mi Ae pulling away. @wen-kexing-apologist rightly pointed out that Mi Ae put herself in the position to have to out Yeong by lying to Jun Ho in the first place, and one of the things that both the novel and the series left me wondering was whether Jaehee/Mi Ae made that decision knowingly; did she choose to embrace amatonormativity and a heteronormative life trajectory because she wanted it, or did she feel like she had to? Either way, Yeong's pain of seeing someone who he otherwise had so much in common deviate towards the norm and leave him behind and further isolated is very familiar. I linked out to my alternative milestones to measure your life by in that original book club post and I’ll take the excuse to do it again; for those of us who find the standard hetero/amatonormative milestones alien/undesirable, it’s nice to think about other ways we can think about the progress in our lives.

Another change in the series that I appreciated was the addition of more of Yeong and Nam Gyu’s relationship. Ben talked about how much more realized a character Nam Gyu was to K3/Kia guy in his post. The building out of K3 with things like a hometown, cheesy song choices, (h/t @moutheyes) and heteronormative romantic idealism tied to traditions like Namsan Tower (h/t @lurkingshan) was all possible because of the time that a visual medium provides (like WKA said in their post linked above) and all made him feel much more like a real person that inspired sympathy than Young ever described him as in the novel (this is not a failing of the novel, but it gives them a different flavour that I am appreciating in both iterations).

And because he’s a more realized character, Nam Gu's death hit me harder watching the show. From reading the novel, I remember Young returning to K3’s final text messages regularly, and how his reaction sounded very dissociated, but the scene of the empty funeral mourning room in the series is one of those visuals that will stick with me. It's been a couple of days and my stomach hurts just thinking about it. He was trying so hard to live a "normal" life that he was in some fundamental ways barred from by society, and it left him so lonely.

By seeing more of Yeong’s life in the series adaptation, it made it more obvious to me how many ways Yeong is choosing to be alone, and how his relationship with Mi Ae was an exception to that rule until it wasn’t. I noticed that Yeong moving in with Mi Ae coincided with the T-aras leave for their mandatory military service, and his breakup with Nam Gyu was after their sendoff party. By having more of Yeong's relationships depicted in these episodes, his loneliness when Mi Ae was gone to employee training and after they stopped talking was louder than in the novel, because we as an audience were aware that there were people he was choosing not to call. And it's worth noting that it was only when he had cut ties with Mi Ae that he turned back to Nam Gyu, only to close off that thread permanently too. It was an interesting pattern to me, that In the series, Yeong ends things with Nam Gyu after he loses other people in his life.

As  @shinjikar1 pointed out Yeong's parallel losses of Nam Gyu and Mi Ae are about the decision to conform or not conform (and @troubled-mind pointed out how perfectly the song parallel really underscores this comparison, and the visuals of the abandoned marlboros and the ring do the same (h/t @conscbgb). H/t @lurkingshan for saying in our chats that specifically, Yeong's relationships with Mi Ae and Nam Gyu represent conforming to or rejecting a set heteronormative standard. Mi Ae chooses to conform and marry Jun Ho, but Yeong chooses not to commit to Nam Gyu, and so he loses both Nam Gyu and Mi Ae as a result. Yeong laments his choice after Nam Gyu's death, but as @my-rose-tinted-glasses wrote, that read to me more as romanticizing a relationship only after it's done than any realistic assessment of their relationship potential. And the bittersweet representation of Mi Ae’s relationship with Jun Ho and how the only moment she really looks happy and herself at her wedding is the moment she runs over to sing with Yeong (and how we can see by his reaction that Jun Ho has never actually seen his wife be herself) tells me that maybe the decision to conform may not be any less lonely. That being said, as @impala124 called out, just because a relationship ends that does not negate its importance in our lives, and I love how that theme which was so strong in the novel shines through in the series adaptation.

As Ben mentioned in his post linked above, I chatted with him about how I was not just thinking about the additions but also pondering the scenes that were left out of this adaptation (e.g. the STI scare scene), and whether the moment at the funeral when Yeong asks how Nam Gyu died might function in a similar way for the TV adaptation that the STI scene functioned in the novel–something that when we reflect back on later, in the context of Kylie, will get additional weight and meaning. I wondered, too, about the club scene when Yeong kissed that random guy so hard the guy pushed him off and checked if his lip was bleeding, and how different that was to Young freaking out at the taste of blood after kissing too hard in the novel. Again, that scene made me wonder whether this was before Kylie or after, and if Yeong kissing people too hard will be a theme in the series. Similarly, we didn’t get the coverage of his time in the military in the first two episodes, but we instead got a mention of the T-aras leaving for their military service, which leaves Yeong’s military service as a loud absence, again seeding the presence of Kylie in a different way to how it was foreshadowed in the novel.

Lastly, this is tangential to everything, but I found myself thinking about how Korean audiences might react differently to the Itaewon scenes and how different they must be to how things are now, post-Itaewon crush incident and how the club culture has changed as a result of that event and COVID-19. The kids apparently just don’t go to the clubs like this anymore. In that sense, these episodes feel a little like nostalgia for a generation and not just for youth in general.

[waitmyturtles]

PEOPLE, READ THIS, PLEASE. SO MUCH IN ONE PARAGRAPH.

Your entire worldview can change depending on the vessels by which you are viewing the world.

SPOILERS AND ANALYSIS FOR THE EIGHTH SENSE, EPISODES 9 and 10. TURN AWAY IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT YET! LONG POST!

MY HEART. IS. SO. FULL. 

Episode 9 almost (ALMOST!) reached Bad-Buddy-episode-10-level for me. That was a hell of an episode. 

And I am so thrilled, SO FREAKING THRILLED, to have been proven wrong about my theories as to whether or not episode 6 was “real” to the series. It was very real, and clearly so meaningful and contributive to Jae Won (as well, of course, to Ji Hyun), that… it sent Jae Won running, literally.

One more passing thought before I dig into the meal: 

I haven’t dug into this at ALL yet, but I think there might purposefully be a lot of similarities between The Eighth Sense and Where Your Eyes Linger, which (I think this is accurate, but PLEASE correct me if I’m wrong) was one of the first non-Strongberry Big KBLs to come out. I went back to Viki to make sure to confirm this, but Jung Seo In – the restaurant ahjumma and Ji Hyun’s boss in T8S – also plays a restaurant proprietor in Where Your Eyes Linger, and actually asks Han Tae Joo and Kang Gook “who’s top and who’s bottom” when she first meets them in WYEL (a little squick but she made it cute for that time). The promo picture for WYEL on Viki is of the two leads lying on the floor with their heads touching…. a different orientation, but a lot of the same feeling, as the opening of episode 10 of T8S. And, finally: Han Tae Joo of WYEL and Jae Won of T8S are both “the chairman’s son.” They are both sons in need of care.

That’s enough for a comparison for now to WYEL, because I haven’t spent enough time digging into it, but I’ll return to Ji Hyun’s ahjumma in a second, because she’s a badassssssss. Anyway:

Episode 9: What can I say. As with Bad Buddy episode 10, I’m struggling to get words down. I love a ride to a gorgeous union. 

And Jae Won, HONEY, Y’ALL TOOK ME ON A HELL OF A RIDE. DUUUUUUUUUUUUDDDDDDDDDDDEEEEEE. DUDE. I wanna be friends with you!

We learned some things. Ji Hyun brings light into Jae Won’s life. When we saw Jae Won with Eun Ji – it was always in darkness (except for surf club earlier in the series, but Ji Hyun was there with Jae Won). jae Won eats with Eun Ji in a pojangmacha at night. He sits with Eun Ji in a dark library. He walks with Eun Ji on dark streets. She tries to kiss him in the nighttime. 

Ji Hyun sees that – and something twists inside of Jae Won.

Then we get Jae Won and Eun Ji in the dark library. And, JEEEEZUS. WHOA! UM! I. did. not. expect. the. long. game. to. be. played. LIKE. THAT.

Motherfucker played a LONG-ASS, I’M A NAVY VETERAN, I CHASED AFTER YOU, I SAW YOU WITH ANOTHER GUY, I WAITED FOR YOU, I WAITED UNTIL MORNING, I SAW YOU WERE STILL WITH HIM, I SAW YOU WALKING OUT OF THE MOTEL WITH HIM, I SAW THAT, I CAME BACK, YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF MY FEAR ABOUT JI HYUN AND THE ACCIDENT, AND I REVENGE-DATED YOU, KINDA GAME, HEADSHAKE, SHRUG, I’M LOOKING AT MY NAILS, PSH.

BRO. WHAT. THE. EFF. 

I want a Cardi B song about this shit. Dude, you played that better than ANY female character in a K-drama that I have EVER seen, my man! You actually WENT AND DATED HER, LIKE KINDA LITERALLY-BUT-MAYBE-YOUR-HEART-WASN’T-ACTUALLY-INTO-IT-SO-MAYBE-IT-WAS-FOR-THE-ASSIGNMENT-DEALIE??? Good lord. 

Like, can that become a K-drama/KBL trope? Hot DAMN. ANYWAY. (Actually, one more reference to this for episode 10, but enough of the all caps, ha.)

You know what that means, right? While all that was going on, Jae Won’s heart WASN’T with Eun Ji. He was processing his stuff with Ji Hyun on his own, and with his therapist (once more, lol, @emotionallychargedtowel, take me to your analysis! I gotta know what you thought about the therapist calling Jae Won selfish!). 

Jae Won said it himself. He’s rooted in depression. He’s rooted in guilt about his brother’s death. He’s rooted in guilt over Ji Hyun’s accident. I will posit that episode 6 still felt like a “dream,” likely because of meds, likely because of Jae Won’s headstate. It was a “real” moment for the series but for where Jae Won’s head was at, he was likely battling a depressive episode with the continued, chronic guilt of his life. So things seemed fuzzy and jumpy – because they were fuzzy and jumpy for Jae Won. 

(Whenever I try to describe these states to people, I try to think of relative moments… like being at work with four hours of sleep. Driving while your contact lens has something in it. You’re fuzzily in and out of reality. Jae Won’s depression is deeper than that. But I try to relate to it somehow with those metaphors.)

So the therapist does her own thing by calling Jae Won “selfish” for rooting in his pain. How we choose to judge her behavior is whatever – it still gives me the jibbles, and I lean towards the utterly wonderful @emotionallychargedtowel for better analysis about therapy than me.

But, as we very clearly saw – Jae Won’s breakthrough came through the restaurant ahjumma. Remember: she represents a break from tradition, as I said last week. She’s done with the bullshit of living by the rules of others.

She sees university students in and out, everyday, eating samgyupsal and drinking their sorrows away. She sees former students coming back to say hi. 

She’s been around the block, and has seen people get around the block themselves. She knows the advice that she’s giving to Jae Won. Unlike the therapist, she’s not gonna make Jae Won feel bad about himself. She’s just going to feed him and HELP HIM.

LET GO OF IT ALL, HONEY. GO AND GET YOUR MAN. 

And Jae Won finally let go. He went to the water. He took us with him to a flashback to the sea, to the light, where he’s the happiest. He took us to where he’s the freest that he can be.

And Ji Hyun called him back to Ji Hyun’s side. Called Jae Won back through music, and Jae Won heard him, and ran to Ji Hyun, and they embraced – and it was perfect. 

I’m gonna be that auntie when I grow up.

Episode 10: There are a couple of side discussions with friends that I want to refer to, but let me say first that I have zero issues with this light, lovely conclusion. I am a SLAVE for K-drama tropes, and I didn’t mind that this episode had a few. This series did so beautifully to NOT hew to tropes, and to create a new paradigm of filmmaking in KBLs, that I was TOTALLY FINE with seeing some sweet tropey behavior – the drinking, the partying, the dancing, the dance music. The love games. The heads leaning on shoulders. Coffees in cans. Let me give you my jacket. 

Friends @shortpplfedup and @lurkingshan and @wen-kexing-apologist: I’m okay with the forgiveness to Tae Hyung and Eun Ji. Because. 

I think Jae Won’s being a little shady, come awn. I think he popped his umbrella open. Just a little. Ji Hyun ADMITTED to being sassy, but I think Jae Won knew he was being just a little bitty-bit shady, and I’m gonna let the man have his. He’s a game-player. 

Eun Ji HAD TO ADMIT that she got her ass handed to her. And Ji Hyun and Jae Won both knew she’d have a hard time, internally. I’m fine with her being calm about it. She knew she fucked up the game, hard, when she got her ass caught cheating. We know she’s lame, she knows she’s lame, let’s live and move on.

I thought Jae Won’s read on Tae Hyung was great. Tae Hyung IS someone who wears his heart on his sleeve, however misguided it is. Humans are not perfect. Jae Won wants to be with honest people. (That’s why he dumped Eun Ji’s ass and handed her the receipts. He can forgive her, but he certainly AIN’T going out with her again.)

As Bed Friend ended with happy moment after happy moment – I believe the filmmakers knew exactly what they were giving us with this finale. How we came to SUCH a happy ending just boggles me, but it was a loving and a sweet one. GO YOON WON AND JOON PYO. COME AWN. GO GO GO. (And go Bit Na! Reject that motherfucker. AND AE RI! GURL! I’m gonna miss you, nothing slides by you.)

And I want to refer back to something about the therapist conversation in episode 9 that got concluded in episode 10. I think it’s really important to note that BOTH Ji Hyun AND Jae Won took care OF EACH OTHER in these last two episodes.

Jae Won was rotting in guilt over not being able to TAKE CARE OF JI HYUN during the accident. Jae Won arguably got Ji Hyun in trouble. 

Ji Hyun, upon his recovery, TAKES CARE OF Jae Won. Ji Hyun handled the disciplinary committee. He gives Jae Won a disposable camera and encourages Jae Won’s photography. He continues to send Jae Won text messages, songs. Sending messages of hope and light and love. I’m still here, Jae Won, I haven’t left. Jae Won’s brother might not be here. Ji Hyun never left. 

What shocked Jae Won out of his stasis was the ahjumma’s words. I think Jae Won realized at that moment that – AS AHJUMMA WAS SAYING ALL ALONG – THAT JAE WON WAS OVERTHINKING THINGS. Once Jae Won could 

SEE. THE. LIGHT.

he was able to take off, and finally go back to Ji Hyun, in whole. 

(I think we know why the therapist’s office was dark. Jae Won couldn’t see the light in there. 

His light comes from Ji Hyun and the water.)

It’s a rarity, but I’m putting this on my short MUST WATCH list. This BLEW away any filmmaking expectations I previously had about KBLs. This was SINGULAR, groundbreaking, the actors ATE their roles, ATE THEM – and it was utterly fulfilling.

PHENOMENAL SHOW. I’m going to miss this one TREMENDOUSLY. 

[sweetxxbutterfly]

08.09.24

Hejka misie jak samopoczucie? Nowy tydzień, nowe dni do zrzucenia kilogramów ^^ Jutro i we wtorki kończę o 16 przez co będę dopiero w domu o ok. 18-18:20 więc będę mogla ogarnąć się, pouczyć i spać a w domu na spokojnie powiedzieć, że jadłam na mieście. W reszte dni koncze tak ze w domu bede pewnie ok 17 więc troche ciężej będzie uniknąć obiadu bo dla mojej rodzicielki godzina bardzo dużo robi. Dzisiaj chyba obejrzę sequel do sali samobojcow,bo dopiero dowiedziałam się, że jest druga część. Planuje tez zamówić jakieś książki w których główny bohater boryka się z problemami psychicznymi (by wyjść z zastoju czytelniczego), rozważam "notatki samobójcy część 2" bo czytałam już pierwszą część i od niej zaczynałam zresztą i mega mi się podobała. Możecie wsumie polecić jakieś jak ktoś ma. Zablokowałam chłopaka o którym pisałam wcześniej i tęsknię strasznie ale zrozumiałam, że dla niego jestem nic nie warta dz*wka. Poznałam też dwie wspaniałe przyjaciółki, jedną w realu drugą tutaj. I moja grupa znajomych się powiększa. Dawno tu nie pisałam w takim stylu więc troche chaotycznie jest.

Chudej nocki motylki 🎀

[dystini]

Time for a history lesson, folks.

Josef Newgarden and Conor Daly's lives have been intertwined since they were barely teenagers. The first met at New Castle Motorsports Park in Indiana, racing go-karts.

2005 Mooresville, Indiana Grand Prix ( r to l ) Art Raney, Elliott Bachelart, Conor Daly, Josef Newgarden

Newgarden drove his first kart at the age of 13, and was a regular at the Kart Racers of America (KRA) series at the New Castle Motorsports Park. It was in 2006 that Josef claimed his first titles, winning two Yamaha Junior championships that season. From there, he jumped back and forth between karting and Skip Barber, where he excelled quickly and won a number of races. Daly began karting earlier, hitting the track at the age of 10. In 2005, Daly won the two Yamaha Junior championships and moved on to racing nationally in the sport of karting. Daly scored three WKA Manufacturers Cup Series victories, including a Grand National event. The following year, he moved up to the Senior level, where he earned the Stars of Karting Eastern championship in TaG driving for Top Kart USA.

2008 would be a year to remember for both as they competed in the Skip Barber National Championship. The two swapped victories with Daly earning five – along with the championship – while Newgarden took home three wins and finished runner-up in the standings. That September, the duo was named to the Team USA Scholarship program to compete at the Formula Ford Festival and the Walter Hayes Trophy Formula Ford event in England. Newgarden became the first American to win theFormula Ford Festival, while Daly took the honor as the first North American to claim victory at the Walter Hayes event.

Credit: ekarting news

Conor Daly and Josef Newgarden, currently first and second, respectively, in the BFGoodrich/Skip Barber National Presented by Mazda, were awarded the prestigious Team USA Scholarships for the 2008 season.

Daly, 16, from Noblesville, Ind., and Newgarden, 17, from Hendersonville, Tenn., will fly the Scholarship’s patriotic red, white and blue colors in the Formula Ford Festival at Brands Hatch, England, on the weekend of October 18-19, and the Walter Hayes Trophy Formula Ford event at Silverstone, England, two weeks later (November 1-2).

Prior to Daly and Newgarden racing against each other this year in the Skip Barber National – Daly has four wins and two poles, “Newgy” two wins and a series-leading six poles – the two were competitors in the Stars of Karting ranks. The pair are separated by just five points at the head of the SBN championship standings with just two races remaining at Virginia International Raceway next month.

The pair will drive identical Ray chassis prepared by renowned Cliff Dempsey Racing, a multiple championship-winning team based in Ashbourne, County Meath, Ireland.

credit: Skip Barber Racing School

Newgarden and Daly were selected to race as part of the 2008 Team USA Scholarship program

The latest in a long line of Team USA Scholarship winners, Conor Daly and Josef Newgarden, dominated proceedings this past weekend in the final two rounds of the BFGoodrich/Skip Barber National Presented by Mazda at Virginia International Raceway.

Daly, 16, from Noblesville, Ind., won from the pole on Saturday at VIR and added a second-place finish Sunday to clinch the championship and a $350,000 bonus that will enable him to progress along the MAZDASPEED Motorsports Development ladder system and compete in next year’s Star Mazda Championship Presented by Goodyear. Daly hopes to follow in the footsteps of fellow Team USA Scholarship winners Dane Cameron (2006), who went on to win the Star Mazda title in 2007 before graduating into the Cooper Tires Presents the Atlantic Championship Powered by Mazda, and Joel Miller (2007), who leads the 2008 Star Mazda points table prior to the final round at Mazda Raceway Laguna Seca.

Newgarden, 17, from Hendersonville, Tenn., won Sunday’s race to secure second in the championship standings. Newgarden also claimed two other race wins and a series-high six poles during the 14-race season.

Credit: autoracing1.com

Friday, October 17, 2008 BRANDS HATCH, England – Expectations were high for Team USA Scholarship drivers Conor Daly and Josef Newgarden as they went into today’s official qualifying sessions for the Formula Ford Festival at Brands Hatch. Each was in a different group and when their 15-minute sessions were checkered, ”Newgy” was on pole for Heat One while Daly just missed (by .07) pole for Heat Two.

credit: Skip Barber Racing School

Daly and Newgarden each scored victory in Formula Ford action in Europe

BRANDS HATCH, England – Josef Newgarden made history by winning the famed Formula Ford Festival (1600 Kent class) at Brands Hatch – the first American to ever do so. Past winners of the event, which dates back to 1972, include current Formula 1 stars Mark Webber and Jenson Button.

His Team USA Scholarship teammate Conor Daly also played a starring role, rising from the back of the grid in his heat race to finish a sterling sixth in the 25-lap Final.

credit: Skip Barber Racing School

Josef Newgarden Wins For Team USA

SILVERSTONE, England – Conor Daly capped an extraordinarily successful Team USA Scholarship foray to England by winning the Walter Hayes Trophy at Silverstone on Sunday, November 2. The victory came just two weeks after teammate Josef Newgarden won the Formula Ford Festival Kent Class at Brands Hatch.

Never in the history of Formula Ford, long considered the seed bed of future F1 drivers, has an American — let alone two — made such an impression in Europe. That Daly and Newgarden found this success as an outgrowth of their Skip Barber experience speaks for itself.

Daly, who started fourth on the 36-car grid for the 15-lap Walter Hayes Grand Final, held in cold, wet and extremely treacherous conditions, took the lead at half distance when Scottish Formula Ford Champion Graham Carroll slid off the road at Luffield corner.

Daly, 16, from Noblesville, Indiana, controlled the remainder of the race and set the fastest lap for good measure. He became the youngest driver ever to scoop the Walter Hayes Trophy, which is named after one of the originators of Formula Ford. The presentation was made by Walter Hayes’ widow, Elizabeth, in the Clubhouse of the famed British Racing Drivers Club.

credit: Skip Barber Racing School

eKartingNews: Josef, what do you remember about the first time you met Conor?

Josef Newgarden: I think I met Conor the second or third time at New Castle. He was racing Junior Can, and one of the bad ass drivers, along with Eric Morrow and a few others. I was just getting into the sport, practicing and understanding more about the sport. New Castle was the first and closest place to our home. It’s one of the best facilities in the sport and the KRA series they run was pretty packed when we raced there. It provided a great opportunity to race without having to travel to other programs like WKA or Stars of Karting.

EKN: Conor, what do you remember about the first time you met Josef?

Conor Daly: I don’t even know if I remember the first time I met Josef. I think it was at New Castle, racing against each other in Yamaha Junior Can. He was one of my main competitors, so we got to know one another and now have raced against each other for so many years. I won the championships one year, and then he took them both the following year, then we moved up together, and in Skip Barber and Team USA Scholarship together. After time apart, we found ourselves racing against each other in Indy Lights, and now at the Indy 500. It’s been a long road.

Credit: ekarting news

Conor Daly

2005 - Kart Racers of America - Junior Yamaha Can 1 - 1st place 2006 - WKA Manufacturer's Cup – JICA - 2nd place 2006 - WKA Manufacturer's Cup - Yamaha Junior Supercan Lite - 2nd place 2006 - TAG World Championship - Senior Pro - 1st place 2007 - USA Karting Championship – TAG - 2nd place 2008 - BFGoodrich / Skip Barber National Presented by Mazda - 1st place 2008 - Walter Hayes Trophy - Silverstone – FF1600 - 1st place 2008 - Formula Ford Ontario Championship F1600-A - 3rd place 2009 - Pro Mazda / USF Pro 2000 - 3rd place 2010 - Star Mazda Championship Presented by Goodyear - 1st place 2010 - 200 Miles of Newcastle – Karting - 2nd place 2013 - MRF Challenge - Formula 2000 - 1st place

Josef Newgarden

2005 - Kart Racers of America - Junior Yamaha Can 1 - 3rd place 2005 - Kart Racers of America - Junior Yamaha Can 2 - 2nd place 2005 - TAG World Championship - Junior Revised - 1st place 2006 - Kart Racers of America - Junior Yamaha Can 1 - 1st place 2006 - Kart Racers of America - Junior Yamaha Can 2 - 1st place 2006 - TAG World Championship - Junior Revised - 1st place 2007 - Skip Barber Southern Regional Series - 2nd place 2007 - 200 Miles of Newcastle – Karting – 2nd place 2007 - Kart Racers of America – TaG – 1st place 2008 - BFGoodrich / Skip Barber National Presented by Mazda - 2nd place 2008 - Formula Ford Festival – Kent - 1st place 2009 - British Formula Ford - 2nd place 2011 - Indy Lights - 1st place

[lurkingshan]

Semi-coherent screaming about Shadow eps 1-7

Well I love this show, goddamn! I did not expect to be so into this, as I am not a horror girlie at all, but here I am having binged all seven episodes in one sitting. The storytelling here is fantastic, with a compelling cast of characters, beautiful visuals, and themes around family trauma, the nature of forgiveness, and the damage caused by homophobia. I think there are a few other things going on here thematically that have not come all the way to the fore yet, but a few of the ideas I am thinking about most:

This show is, in fact, not a bl. By which I mean it is not a romance narrative. There are explicitly queer characters, there is a potential love line that’s essentially a D plot, and there may well be some kind of romantic climax later in the story, but the relationship between Dan and Nai is not the focus of the narrative and their potential romance does not drive the plot at all.

Instead, this is a story primarily about trauma, and intergenerational family trauma is the biggest focus alongside other forms that show up. Dan’s family trauma drives the narrative and is ostensibly the initial source of the shadow that haunts him (alongside whatever supernatural thing is happening to make it manifest in this particular way), and we see the traumas that have haunted Nai and Trin, as well.

I love Dan a lot and I was so goddamn happy when he refused to forgive his dad and instead beat him to a bloody pulp in his shadow dream. Hold that grudge, boo! We do not give out unearned forgiveness in this house!

Relatedly, Brother Anurak is on my shit list for pushing Dan to forgive his father and using his dead mother to do it. Fuck you very much, sir.

We are halfway through the show and Dan has not displayed any attraction or feelings beyond friendship for Nai. At this point I’m reading him as comphet with potential for a bisexual awakening, but he is definitely not knowingly queer at this point in his life (unless you count whatever he’s got going with the shadow). Dating anyone of any gender in his waking life seems to be the farthest thing from his mind. Nai, of course, very much knows he is gay and has suffered for it, and we see the themes around homophobia in both his and Trin’s backstories.

I am still wrapping my head around the shadow fucking Dan. Because, what??? It got introduced right toward the end of the available episodes so not sure what to make of it yet, but it adds a nice layer of complication to theories about exactly what the shadow is, and how it might have evolved over time as it stuck to Dan and he matured. It was also startling because outside those scenes there has been no sexual tension present in Dan’s story at all, in any direction. But he has gotten calmer about the shadow and its presence, almost seeming to even welcome it at times as it helps him sort through his memories. It’s clearly become a source of pleasure. Hmmm.

There must be some thematic tie between the sexual nature or Dan’s connection to the shadow and the “sexual deviance” shit we keep seeing directed at the gay characters. WKA speculated about the shadow as a representation of queerness and I can see some basis for that read.

I’m not sure yet exactly what the show is trying to say with Trin and his bipolar disorder. But we do know Dan’s shadow demon is being treated as sleep paralysis, so there could very well be something supernatural happening with Trin, too.

I was speculating with @wen-kexing-apologist about the meaning of Dan’s full name, Danai, being the same as the portmanteau for this show’s main pair (if we’d even call them that), Dan and Nai. They looked up the meaning and found that the name Danai was used in ancient cultures to signify bravery and a connection to higher powers. Just something to stew on!

All the teachers in this show are sus. The female teacher who is homophobic and fucking the school bully, obviously, but also every single one of them. I’ve got my eyes on you, creeps.

I am a big fan of Cha-aim and Josh. They’re nice kids and good friends and I hope they don’t turn evil or get hurt. But I don’t really care if they date.

The lighting in that scene with Dan wandering through the funhouse was sick. I’m going to be seeing it in my dreams. But who is that banshee guy wearing glasses!! Anan saw Trin, someone he wronged. So is glasses guy someone from Dan’s past that he harmed? Does the positioning of where we saw them each in the mirror (center or side panels) mean anything?

Overall, this is surprisingly not scary. I expected more of an explicit horror style with jump scares and maybe some gore, but there has been very little of that. The show generally plays fair and gives you warning cues when something creepy is about to happen. It’s going more for an ominous, haunting vibe than a scary one.

Do we know yet how the rest of this show is being distributed? Will it be weekly from here, or are they going to drop the second half in one go?