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starberry-cupcake · 2 months ago

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Here I am again, hoping this silly recap brightens your day a little bit, I'm giving you a gentle hug and a mug of your favorite warm beverage ☕

previously, in harrowcita del 9:

this happened

I somehow predicted @lady-harrowhark's tshirt in the one before that also, it was very funny, in case you missed it

CHAPTER 48

we're doing just one chapter again because this one was Eventful, fam

last we knew, abby pent was trying to lorraine warren the ghost out of harrowcita's bubble

my running theory was that the ghost was commander wake aka allegedly gideon's mom (none of that is in any way confirmed yet)

and ortus was about to say something

I said it might be poetry and, guess what?

I WAS RIGHT

you go, ortus, you recite that poetry

abby apparently takes that as a cue to do something and thinks ortus has too much faith in her

but ortus trusts her, there's a lot of polycule moments in this one

the sleeper/waker/slasher allegedly gideon's mom unconfirmed absolutely does not give a fuck about any of this, she's slaying them all with her "baggy orange suit and gun collection"

I need the suit to look like this so bad

harrow starts making constructs but killer bae starts turning them into ash in seconds

I mean, I know we need harrow to live and this woman is not supporting that idea but damn, she looks cool af

if you fought the emperor at any given point, amanda (I'm calling her amanda for now, I'll elaborate later) how did you lose?????

ortus is harmed, so harrow has to continue with the recitation in his place

so harrow continues to recite the nonius poetry, while abby chants in the background and everyone else waits while bleeding

it's a very involved artistic performance that we've got going on over here in canaan au river bubble

sleeper/waker/slasher/alleged commander wake alleged gideon's mom aka amanda (according to me) shoots harrowcita

but then abby is lifted in blue flames and seems to be holding an invisible book and everything gets all vib-ey

these are the exact vibes I'm picturing

(not because I have a print of that in my room)

so harrowcita is saved from getting shot in the head by a man with the Ninth uniform and a very stellar use of the blade

AND YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE WHO IT IS

IT'S ORTUS'S BLORBO FROM HIS SHOWS!!!!!!!!

matthias nonius is a short king who is surprised to be speaking in meter but is very happy to be here to defend the Reverend Daughter and fight like an expert killing machine

WHERE WAS ALL THIS FIGHTING POWER WHEN IT CAME TO KILLING THE EMPEROR

but not only is matthias nonius 10/10 at fighting (as advertised), the shrine ortus has in his head for him is helping to even the playing field with the waker/sleeper/alleged commander

she can't shoot anymore

"I killed wizard's filth like you all my life. I killed them with guns, and bombs, and knives, and gas, and when I didn't have any of those I just got in real close and put my thumbs through their fucking eyes. You can flick that little skewer around all you like, boy. I'll choke you with it"

SHE'S INTENSE, we can be certain that the Harrow Only Notes were hers

"I certainly hope you're a fighter. God knows you're not a debater"

you guys I'm a certified mati nonius fan right now

ortus is drawing little hearts in his poetry book and writing Ortus Nonius in it

"If all of her cavaliers were this excited for death, she was definitely the problem"

they just love you too much, harrowcita

so mati nonius and waker/sleeper/alleged commander have the most intense and entertaining fight ever

because lyctor fights are weak and boring

but this, this is cinema

harrow thinks that, if gideon had been there, she would have loved the fight but also she'd be terrible at running commentary of it

I disagree, gideon's running commentary is one of the things that keep us together as a society

"In life she must have had few, if any, equals. Her people—whoever they had been—must have cherished her as their finest champion."

gideon got some great fighting genes from all around, if my theories prove right

I mean, if her people are the people I'm thinking, they still have posters of her, so she must have been a big deal before she crashed in the ninth

SAD SHE DIDN'T KILL DR REVEREND EMPEROR JOHN THOUGH

BUT THERE'S STILL TIME FOR THAT

LIKE AN HOUR

harrow says mati nonius is "a poem" which is very nice of her to say

you go, short king

there's a lot of blood happening, also, which could be encouraging, since before this, the waker/sleeper/alleged commander wasn't bleeding at all

the room changes to become a ninth chamber and alleged commander changes clothes from the star trek orange suit to a different yet still orange getup and a golden mask

ortus's shrine in his head built for mati nonius is rewriting the possession

because nothing can pull you from the depths of despair as fast as your favorite blorbo

"My master in life was revenge, my mission is one of—Goddamn it, I'm not going to start talking like this"

more points for the gideon's mom theory

protozoa and ortus are now communicating telepathically, they are starting to put aside their rivalry and finding out they have a lot in common

enemies to friends to lovers speedrun

mati nonius loses his sword and goes feral

protozoa throws his cunty seventh rapier towards him, mati nonius catches it and ends the waker/sleeper/alleged commander

it all looked incredibly cool

once the enemy is partially defeated (let's remember she's supposedly tethered to an object that I think is gideon's sword), the body horror starts falling from the walls

it's described as "sausages flung from a height" which is...quite the thing

like, I get what that sounds like, but also, maybe I didn't wanna know

harrow looks at the face of the waker/sleeper/alleged commander and says it's the woman from the poster of the shuttle

YASSSS GETTING CLOSER TO MY THEORY

like, I still don't know if the woman from the poster is commander wake or if she is indeed gideon's mom, but I'm going all in on this theory

now we have a little intermission in which everyone is waxing poetic about everyone else

this is the canaan house we always wanted to see

protozoa is giving heart eyes to mati nonius, mati is giving respects to harrow, ortus is saying he wants to write a poem about abby, magnus is telling ortus not to flirt with his wife as a joke but ortus looks mortified

and abby says ortus did most of the job but she also points out she corrected some of his spelling

which might have been the biggest mistake in magnus's and abby's lives because they just destroyed their polycule

you can't treat the ninth like that, fifth, they take it personally

but ortus is vindicated because his oshi, his favorite blorbo, his biggest hero, tells him nice things

harrowcita goes to check on the ghost corpse of the waker/sleeper/alleged commander and finds some tags

one of which says AWAKE

I THINK THAT'S MAYBE A. WAKE

AS IN COMMANDER WAKE

and I'm naming her amanda, as previously established

it would go well with the ancient tumblr meme

the prophecy

sure hope this isn't the famous alecto everyone keeps mentioning because it'd ruin my prophecy

abby tells harrow the only way to get rid of her for good is to destroy the object to which she's tethered to

which I suspect might be gideon's sword, so fuck all this

we're meant to lose gideon and her sword??? absolutely not

let the woman kill the emperor instead

ALSO

surprise! mati nonius is besties with gideon the first

now, for someone who was sold out to be super serious and not an extrovert, gideon the first knows EVERYONE

he knows mati nonius, he probably also knows, to some degree of intimacy yet undetermined, the commander, he might be somewhat related to our gideon

the man is everywhere

basically, mati nonius and gideon the first had the same speedrun friendship that gideon had with camilla

they fought each other once and one of them thought "you're friend-shaped :) "

so, mati nonius is willing to go help gideon the first with the beast

because, as we have previously seen, no other lyctor is currently doing what they were supposed to

so, ortus says he'll go with mati to help gideon the first

abby and magnus want him to go with them to be forever happy in their polycule, but it's too late

abby has insulted his spelling and magnus has made him feel uncomfy with his joke about the flirting

HOWEVER protozoa has told him he actually likes him AND has quoted poetry HE WROTE HIMSELF

enemies to friends to lovers to soulmates

martita, who was there the whole time, ties her sword to her broken hand and says she'll go with them

martita is actually cool for a second house person

judith, you didn't deserve her

NOW THERE'S A PROBLEM

A BIG ONE

if harrow doesn't go back to her body, she'll get lost and lose her mind in the river

if she does, though, she's gonna kill gideon for good

harrowcita has a crisis and a breakdown

(and also stops for just a second to remember gideon rolling up her sleeves)

magnus compares the situation to a breakup he had with abby one time, which I don't think really encompasses the gravity of this situation, but ok magnus, it sure is similar

I mean, the breaking up part maybe but the level of gravity of the situation? idk man

I'm sure breaking up with abby felt this dramatic to you but...it's a little different

abby and magnus leave, telling harrowcita that jeanne said to tell gideon "hi" if harrow sees her first

which is super cute of the kid tbh

so, that leaves us with real!dulcinea

who is still here because

1) much like her lyctor counterpart, is very resistant to dying for good

2) she's determined to get vanished into nothingness and disappear into the very essence of existence, which I think sounds pretty cool

"The Seventh says nothingness is the only truly beautiful thing anyway, so nyah"

3) also: "Actually, I've got something to tell you"

I SURE HOPE IT IS A WAY TO SAVE BOTH GIDEON'S AND HARROW'S LIVES

FINGERS CROSSED

and that's it for this chapter!!!! next time, I'm expecting more gideon and yandere twin antics!!!

#luly reacts to tlt #tlt spoilers #tlt #harrow the ninth #harrow the ninth spoilers #long post #gif cw

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innocent-cat · 8 months ago

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THIS IS #PART TWOO AND ITS SO LONG SO IM SORRY BUT I HOPE ALL 17 OF YOU LOVE IT SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG

Vax x Reader x Percy

Warnings - swearing, descriptions of blood and wounds, the works, etc

"Vox Machina's (least) favorite Sorcerer.", Vax x Reader x Percy

.·:*¨༺༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺༻

[F/N] - Family Name

Lady Mystra - Goddess of magic/The weave

The weave - How raw magic is tapped into by spellcasters

Uriel - The guy who runs Emon

Envonium - The name of the city you are a noble to (Sorry, couldn’t avoid it)

The walk to the small ‘town’ ahead was a quick one, and the smell of the burnt wood and cloth was strong. It contrasted the smell of the wet wood and the muddy ground. Percy splits off from you and joins Vex in an ‘investigation’ into what happened to the town.

A little awkward with everyone else, you follow Vax around like a lost dog, like you had done numerous times in school when you were a child. You don’t know what to think of the memories of following around whoever smiled at you, assuming they wanted to be friends, when, in reality, they only felt bad for your awkwardness. Which was rare, considering you didn’t understand any norms with them.

You shake the memory away as Pike is asked to bless a house for protection against whatever evil is against them. She awkwardly agrees, walking up and muttering something quickly under her breath. She backs away and quickly says that the house will be in ‘tip-top shape’, and the mother of the family Percy and Vex are currently questioning thanks her for her effort in a motherly kind of way, understanding her awkwardness despite not having any context.

The son of the family walks up to Vax as he does an impressive trick with a coin. The small boy asks him if he’s a wizard, and you let out a snort by accident, quickly covering it up with a cough as Vax kicks you lightly in the shin, assuming you were laughing at the boy; you were laughing at him. You smile as he continues to do the trick, explaining it's all in the fingers. He pulls it out from behind the boy’s ear, handing him the coin after. He tells him that it is now in his, encouraging him to learn coin tricks. The boy awes, and his sister walks up to him to see what is going on.

A smile creeps onto your face as you watch the sweet gesture Vax makes towards the young boy, admiring his gentleness with children, which contradicts the bar fight you had met him through. It was a funny thought, in which you let out a small laugh too.

“That's real silver. Keep it safe. There's a monster roaming about.” He warns them, but the girl promptly corrects him.

“..You mean flying.” She comes closer.

“What's that?” He replies quickly, urging her to explain what she means.

“Something flew over us. It knocked down the big tree on the hill..” She points towards the tall hill. “We heard wings beating, but we couldn’t see it in the storm.”

Her brother chimes in; “It was big. Really big.” She agrees with a soft ‘Yeah.’

Vax looked over to the hill in which she pointed, and the party promptly went there.

It was a grueling uphill walk led by Trinket, as he sniffed out tracks of the monster we were searching for. What tracks Trinket did find, Vex explained, were too muddy to discern, so we continued south.

The tracks were hard to follow- even for Trinket. They were erratic and went in several directions until they finally stopped. When they did finally stop, they were human tracks.

Vex cups her ear in discomfort, wincing before she warns us- “It’s close. Everyone get ready!”

You draw your quarterstaff out, as does Keyleth. Percy draws his gun, Vax readies his dagger, and Scanlan.. readies his.. guitar.. Grog pulls out his axe, and Pike summons a shield. The bush shuffles violently, and Vex rises to her feet and draws an arrow against her bow.

Anxiety kneads itself in your stomach as you prepare for the worst- until a lamb pops out of the bush. Grog laughs.

“Get the fuck out- you’re telling me a wittle lamb caused all this mayhem?” He giggles through his sentence, but the anxiety in your stomach only kneads stronger than before. Vex falls to her knees and grovels in pain as she covers her ears, groaning.

Loud footsteps boom in front of you, and out from the fog, a giant, scaly foot steps onto the miniature lamb, the lamb splattering all over the foot and the ground. Stepping forward, the sight of a massive blue dragon reveals itself to your party, and Scanlan nervously curses, but none of you run.

It breathes a massive hurl of lightning out of it’s mouth, and you quickly drag Vex to her feet and run with her out of the way of the bright beam. Keyleth, Trinket, Vex, and you all run behind a tree for cover, watching as Grog and Pike are flung into a tree from the force.

Scanlan is yanked behind a tree by Vax as the dragon cuts down the forest with it’s strong jaws. Bright electric blue runs up it’s tall neck as it breathes in, releasing a spew of pure lightning out of it’s mouth. The trees are lasered down, and the branches catch fire. Several birds are seen flying away from their now-destroyed homes. Crawling out of the burning forest, the party regroups hurriedly.

“I suggest we run. Right now!” Percy logically commands us, not suggests to us, only to be quickly told no by Grog.

“Fuck that. We fight!” He screams, charging in towards the dragon as everyone follows. You stay behind with Keyleth, frantically casting low-level spells that merely bounce off the dragon’s electric skin.

As quickly as Grog makes it to the dragon, he is flung away with only one leg before he is able to strike. Scanlan makes a complaint about Grog already being down, but you can’t hear it beyond the chaos and panic currently affecting the entire party.

Everyone seemingly unloads every useful item they can think of, several magic arrows flying toward the dragon, followed by many bullets, all of which bounced right off.

“Keyleth! A little magic might help?” Vex yells at Keyleth from on the floor after being blown away by another blast from the dragon. You glance between Keyleth and the dragon, giving her a quick nudge and a ‘We’re all gonna die’ look. Keyleth glances around nervously as Percy shouts as he fights beside Pike and Vax. Vex grabs Keyleth once she recognizes you are too busy casting a spell to snap Keyleth out of it. She quickly apologizes, and begins to cast.

Your last spell flies towards the dragon as Keyleth’s spell affects the clouds in the sky. The clouds swirl in a strange pattern that covers the moon as you all gather by Keyleth for what you hope is protection. A strike comes down from seemingly the moon and directly hits the dragon, but it only makes the dragon stronger.

“Did I just make it worse?” Keyleth shouts, panicked.

Pike jumps in front of the group and enlarges her shield. She lowers it when she realizes the dragon is aiming to cut down the mountain above you. Rocks collapse above you, piling onto the entire party painfully.

The dragon sniffs the boulders and rocks to see if everyone is dead, and sniffs closely to Grog’s bloody hand that sticks out of the pile, it flies away, seemingly deciding Grog’s hand was enough evidence of your death. It flew away with a strong push of it’s wings that shook the earth beneath you, and Scanlan began to complain about being stuck under Grog.

Everyone slowly climbs out, hurt from the battle, but unscathed from the vines Keyleth quickly commanded to protect the party. Once untangled from the rest of the party, Vax gives you a helping hand and pulls you off of Percy as you mutter an apology to him.

“At least we’re still alive. Thank the Everlight.”

“And thank Keyleth for the giant shrub.” Vax responded to Pike as he cleaned off his dirtied clothes. “But did you have to make it so thorny?” He pulls a thorn out of his side.

“We almost died.” Keyleth sputters out nervously and Pike returns to her side, holding her hands and reassuring her in some way.

As you talk to the rest of the party, Keyleth acknowledges Grog’s wounds.

“Nah just a flesh wound, no big. Question- is this normal?” Grog waves away Keyleth’s concerns but uncovers a very much rapidly gushing wound that nearly splashes onto Vax. Everyone takes a large step away from Grog as his wound spews blood. A wave of ‘Oh no-’ and ‘Holy shit.’s are followed.

“I’m gonna throw up.” Scanlan airly speaks, discomfort in his voice prominent.

Pike quickly heals him with a bright, beautiful light that emits from her hands. “That.. took a lot out of me.” She falls over, and Scanlan catches her.

“I got you.”

“Uh, thanks. You can.. put me down now.” Pike awkwardly asks Scanlan and he does, awkwardly agreeing.

“Alright. Fuck Uriel and fuck all of this.” Vax says, aggressively giving up.

“Must I remind you we gave our word to the council? That should probably mean something.” Percy angrily retorts.

“Oh who gives a soggy anus about the council? The only word I care about is Scanlan Shorthalt. And yes- I know thats two words but you know what I’m saying!”

“Yeah! What have those fuckity fucks ever done for us? Except give us a job and a bunch of gold and treasure and stuff.” Grog argues but seems a little lost.

“It’s not about the dragon- or the council. It’s about the people. They need us. We can’t just run away.” Pike encourages the party.

“This is why I hate traveling with holy people; they're too goddamned good.” Percy complains half heartedly.

“That’s rude, Percy.” You give him a soft shove as you speak under your breath to him.

“Pike. This creature is beyond us. When Vax and I were young, one of those monsters killed my mother. I studied them my entire life to find who did it- I can feel when they're close. A horrid pain in my head.”

“Then it’s settled. We’ll return to the palace and get out of the contract.”

“You don’t understand, Percy. I felt it there too. At the palace.”

“Y-you’re just telling us now?” Scanlan asks Vex angrily.

“I’m sorry.. I wasn’t certain until the dragon.. it's been years since mother..” Vex trails off, her sentence jumbled up in a confusing spew of reasons.

Vax comes closer to comfort Vex, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Are you sure, Vex’ahlia?”

“I am sure. Someone on the council must have been in contact with the dragon or.. I don’t know but I’m sure that it was real.”

“Then it’s not worth it, you’ve all heard her. One of those monsters could be working with the council. Lets just get the hell out of here and never step foot in Emon again.” Vax backs up Vex.

Vax walks away, and the entire party follows him back to the small town in the rain, only to find it charred and burnt down to a crisp. The wood supports of nearly every house had broken under the pressure as they burned, crackling in the rain.

Vax runs to the house of the family, and everyone follows him slowly, still slowly looking at the houses in shock.

“They wiped them out.. all of them..” Pike speaks softly and mournfully, as if she had known the people her entire life.

Vax runs through the curtained doors to find the family burnt and bloody. The mother held her daughter protectively in their last moments. A tapping can be heard from a wooden box, and Vax quickly runs to open it alongside Grog.

“Pike! Get over here!” Vax pulls out a bloodied boy- the son of the family that he had given the coin to. He groans weakly in pain, as Pike’s light flickers, her spell fading and failing to heal the boy.

“We could have stopped this. We should have.” Vax’s voice is emotional, unlike any way you’ve heard him speak before. Even when he was comforting Vex it wasn’t like this.

Scanlan tunes his guitar while leaning against the door frame.

“Scanlan- what the fuck are you doing?” You look at him angrily for disrupting what felt like a moment of mourning for the party.

“Thinking of a rhyme for ‘dead dragon’ ‘cause I guess we’re killing one.”

“I’m in. I mean, I’m terrified out of my mind, but I’m in.” Keyleth explains, as the rest of the party changes their mind and chimes in with several ways to say they’re going to kill the dragons alongside everyone else.

They all turn to you, waiting for your confirmation, which you had forgotten to say.

“Of course I’m in.” You come closer to the group as they all begin to surround one another.

“You all realize we’re going to die a truly gruesome death, right?” Vex scoffs at the party’s ambitions.

Before standing to join the group, Vax pockets the coin he gave the boy. “Perhaps, sister. But we will die truly glorious deaths- and we’ll kill a fucking dragon.”

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“Seems your band of fools have gone missing. Safe to say you’ve sent Vox Machina to their doom?” The council’s adviser, a drow, was currently speaking about the concern of Vox Machina’s untimely deaths that were bound to happen.

“DOOM? We don’t know the meaning of the word.” Scanlan loudly spoke in what you thought was his attempt to sound fancy to mock the drow, and you cringed at his attempt.

“Uh. I certainly don’t.” Grog replied to Scanlan, being genuinely confused on what it meant.

“Sovereign! Hold onto your goddamned crown- We’ve discovered that the dragon is none other than a blue dragon!”

“We know.” They all spoke in unison, shooting down what Scanlan thought to be a revelation.

“Did you kill it?”

“I wouldn’t say kill really.” “We’re still kinda working on that part.” Pike and Keyleth awkwardly explain to the council

“I can’t believe you made it out alive! How did you survive?”

“Trade secrets! Can’t share ‘em.” Scanlan lied.

“We hid and it flew away.” You and Percy both retort to Scanlan’s lie very quickly.

“Wait, how did we survive that?” Grog had begun giggling, but paused to question your party’s survival.

Vex holds a hand over her ear as the drow continues to speak.

“Fools are useless, sire. Perhaps if we made an offering to the dragon, gold in exchange for peace?” The drow persuaded.

“Why don’t we shake it’s hand and offer it a fucking pint while we’re at it?”

“A Dragon cannot be bartered with- If it desires Emon’s destruction, it will not relent.” Vex and Vax both rebuttal the drow’s illogical thinking.

“You heard her, sire. You know what must be done.”

“But what if it attacks the city? We’d be sitting ducks!” Kima argues.

“What would you have me do? Let it burn more farmland, slaughter more innocents?” The sovereign slams his fists on his chair, and stands.

“No. We will bring the fight to it- on our terms. General, you may move our soldiers at dawn.” He addresses General Krieg firmly.

“But sire, you know as-” “I have made my decision Lady Kima,” The sovereign cuts her off aggressively. “This council is adjourned.”

“All right, you heard him. Clear out.” A group of guards begin pushing your party out of the room and through the doors, the drow watching distastefully, not turning his body to fully view.

“Don’t kill it before we do! Y-your offer’s still on the table, right?” Scanlan shouts out, but his asks falls on empty ears as you shove the guards off yourself, and pat their imaginary ‘dirt’ off your clothes. Guards like them are nursed and spoiled- never going to the battlefield and only residing by rulers inside of their tall castles or mansions. You knew their type- rude and demeaning, generally abusive of what little power they had.

Cooing is heard just beyond the doors, and when it opens, it abruptly stops. Trinket looks between the two guards who now stand stiffly, confused.

“I felt it again. That same feeling I had around the dragon. There must be a connection,” Trinket leaves the guards and moves through the group, and pushes his head into Vex’s hand, begging to be pet and he does so. “One of them is working with that fucker.”

“Uh-huh, uh-huh. I knew it. I bet it’s Allura. I never trust anyone prettier than me.” Scanlan stands next to Grog proudly with his revelation, as Grog nods and pretends to understand.

“You must not trust a lot of people, Scanlan.” You snarkily reply to Scanlan with a short laugh before Vex and Percy cut into the conversation.

“No, you dipshits. Fince.”

“The creepy one. Looked like a withered piece of scrap leather?”

You raise an eyebrow at Percy. “..Or maybe he's just a drow?” You speak, half offended for Fince, but half knowing the description was true.

“Ohh! I didn’t catch anybody’s name.” Grog laughs and nods.

“So, what do we do next?” Keyleth asks, unsure.

“Vax and [name] go to Gilmore’s, buy us a weapon that can kill a dragon.”

“Uh, with what? We’re flat fucking broke.” Vax asks Vex, his elbow resting on her shoulder.

“Please. With the way that man dotes on you, I’m sure you can work something out.” Vex mocks Vax for even asking as Pike silently giggles behind you.

The two of you group together and begin walking down the stairs.

“The rest of us will split up and search for Fince. If you find him, don’t let him out of your sight.” Vex orders the group.

“That sounds like a plan, but you’re not the only one with ideas, Vex.” Scanlan tilts his head.

“Is that so? Please, Scanlan tell me your’s.” She leans on Trinket and he silently growls at Scanlan.

Letting out a yelp, he walks away. “I’ll tell you.. When I have one.”

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Vax points out Gilmore’s to you and drags you along. He pushes the draped cloth door out of the way for you, his arm slightly above your head to avoid messing with your hair by sweeping over you. You duck under his arms and enter the shop- met with distinct aromas, a warm and soft lighting of lanterns scattered about, and the sound of beads clinking together.

“You have entered a realm of mystery, of magic, of marvel. Welcome to Gilmore’s Glorious goods! Enchanted curials and magical artifacts at discounted prices. I take gold, silver, platinum,-” He gasps when he turns to meet Vax’s eyes. “Why if it isn’t the mysterious Vax’ildan?” He chuckles. “I was hoping you’d swing back through again” He feign kisses Vax on both sides of his face as Vax laughs, what you can only assume is a normal greeting between the two. You decide to let Vax do the talking and explore the shop yourself to find whatever items may be needed to make use of what little time you have.

You try to ignore their flirting, and for a while you succeed, until it becomes too much, and eventually clear your throat as Gilmore playfully pushes Vax. They both look at you.

“..HI.” You speak awkwardly, trying to make your presence known as you slowly flip through a book.

The shop looks unorganized to the untrained eye(your’s), but Vax seemed to have no problem navigating through the junk and magical items scattered about when walking towards Gilmore. Several books catch your eye as you stop to read them, recognizing their magical origin. Opening the book you cough and wave dust particles out of your face, now realizing this book hadn’t been touched since it was brought here. A shame, considering it’s fruitful information.

However, as you walk on, it becomes apparent not every book here is magical. A book left wide open by Gilmore is very clearly smut. You double take and look at it again in confusion as the two of them speak.

Gilmore offers a rather expensive lance that looks more for show than for dragon slaying, and Vax explains the party can’t afford it.

“Maybe a smaller price for a bit of advice?” Vax offers.

“Hopefully what you’re offering isn’t too tiny.”

You offer up two silver coins, being stingy on your money knowing Vax could charm his way into the tiny advice anyway.

“I… suppose size isn’t everything..?” Gilmore awkwardly speaks, staring at the tiny sum.

Vax leans in. “We need to know if blue dragons have any weaknesses.”

“Weaknesses, eh? Well- to start they’re ego maniacs. They hate being insulted and have tremendous vanity,” He chuckles. “Not that I can relate.” Vax and Gilmore both laugh with each other.

“Hi! Still here. Is there any way to stop them?” you ask, pushing Vax slightly out of the way to get Gilmore back on track.

“Honestly, there’s no simple way to kill a dragon. Even in tomes of old, legends of their destruction are largely poetic drivel.” He pulls out a book and blows the dust off of it, the particles waving in your face as you cough and wave it away. “Ah- The Wyrm shall only find defeat in the gorge where the twin rivers meet. See? Cute but..”

“Useless.” Vax cuts in.

“Gods, did a dragon write this?” You trace the words of the pages with your finger complaining, trying to make sense of the old pages, but nothing comes to you.

“While dragon anatomy is a topic for many scholar, anyone close enough to find out seems to get themselves… snapped up.” A purple magic hue brushes into Vax’s face and he grunts in response.

“Sorry I couldn’t be more helpful, but you get what you pay for.” He plays with a silver coin in between his fingers.

“Gilmore, this is all very useful, even the bullshit. If we survive this, I owe you dinner.” Vax’s voice is low.

You raise an eyebrow to this speech, now very doubtful and confused of their relationship. Were they a fling? Are They a fling? Your thinking is cut short when Gilmore cuts back in.

“You owe me more than that, my handsome half-elf.”

Definitely were a thing.

“All right you two, foreplay’s over, let's go. We should probably go find our friends.” You walk out and Vax follows, leaving to find where everyone has gone. The interaction had turned your mood sour, just about done with talking to anyone for the day.

.·:*¨༺༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺༻

Grog eats a sandwich as the rest of the party attempts to unlock the door that the drow, Fince, was seen walking into.

“..Sturdy lock. Nothing a magical song can’t handle.” Scanlan sings an obviously dirty song in an attempt to unlock the door. It fails. “Damn, that usually works.” He looks to you.

“What? Why are you looking at me?” You raise an eyebrow in confusion as he motions for you to take a try at the door.

“I’m not yet powerful enough to cast knock- you should know that. Try someone else.” You deny helping and cross your arms, watching as Keyleth takes a turn at it.

“What if I heat the metal and melt the lock?” She heats the metal, but only lights Scanlan on fire.

“What the hell, Keyleth? This is imported silk!” Scanlan complains as he pats out the smokey fire on his shoulder.

“The lock doesn’t seem to be magical.. I’m not sensing anything.” Pike strains as she casts detect magic.

“Can you people do nothing right? It’s just a damn door!” Vex complains

“I’d like to see you try.” You quickly snap back at her expectantly, mostly defending the others, but deep down you know you’re trying to defend yourself too.

Vax takes the toothpick out of Grog’s sandwich and quickly picks the lock.

“All it takes is a little finesse. Amateurs.” You roll your eyes as Vax opens the door, and tosses the toothpick to the floor.

You turn when you hear Grog complain.

“That was my toothpick.” A squelch follows as about three-fourths of his sandwich falls out. You feel a little sorry, but there isn’t much to be said.

“This must be Governor Krieg’s place..” You speak, eyeing the rather large portrait of the man.

“Oh, shit. I bet Fince is here to assassinate his ass.” Scanlan quickly replies, looking around.

“Oh, you think? Lets split up. Keyleth and Percy will search up stairs, Scanlan and Pike take the attic. The rest of us-”

Vex is interrupted by a creak.

“Or.. maybe we could all start here.” Vax motions towards the wooden latch on the floor, and the party promptly crawls in.

The party is met with Fince with his back turned, scavenging through the library held in the hidden basement. It was dark, and admittedly a little damp. Fince likely didn’t mind, though. 120 feet of darkvision must be rather useful. Thank living in the underdark for that.

“Aha! We caught you blue handed chicken humper!” Scanlan yells out and you kick him in his shin slightly, an annoyed face he likely could not read in the dim light.

“What is with you lot and prejudice against drow, gods above! Manners!” You complain, not breaking your focus on the spell you’ve prepared, still aiming it at Fince.

“Drop your blade, Fince!” You yell at him after scolding Scanlan.

“What? No! No, You don’t understand! I’m not stealing anything.” Fince defends himself quickly, his words spilling out of his mouth, the same way a river is occasionally stopped by rocks in it’s flowing path.

“Of course you’re not! Just like how that sword isn’t to murder General Krieg with, either right?” Pike shouts back, adding her few cents into the mix.

Grog squats down to whisper.

“Pike.. I think it is.”

“You must listen to me. These documents are evidence. General Krieg is planning-” Fince’s voice is panicked, but his voice is quickly cut short as blood suddenly gurgles in his throat and a sword slices from his abdomen to his chest. He falls, and the blade falls out of his body, a shadow stepping forward.

General Krieg.

“Krieg!” Vex and Vax both shout out, in shock.

“Nice bloody technique,” Vax praises, showing he obviously ignored what the drow had to say. “How do you stay so quiet in that armor?”

Vex gasps in pain and falls backwards, Vax catching her.

“He’s the one! In league with the..”

“Of course it was me. I championed you because you’re a bunch of witless oafs who no one gives two shites about. You’ve been lucky so far, but you have no idea what you have gotten yourself into.” Krieg’s thick irish accent spills out as he mocks your party, and you can’t help but have an angry face- not on account he called your party witless and unnamed, but on account he called you witless and unnamed.

“I’ve got him.” Vax quickly lunges forward, throwing knives at him. Krieg deflects them and runs back into the hall.

“Finesse, huh?” You question Vax mockingly before chasing after Krieg.

“He’s.. gone.” Scanlan speaks, shocked.

“Quite the keen observation, Scanlan.” Percy mocks Scanlan. You let out a small laugh to Percy’s quick response.

“There must be a hidden exit or trap door. Fan out. Look for some kind of Fulcrum.”

“Wait- a fuck room?” Grog asks, confused.

“I mean, that’s what I heard.” Vax plays along.

“Fulcrum- the pivot around which a lever turns. A lever or a button.” You correct and explain to them snappily, not meaning to do so in such a manner.

“Just.. stand over there, Grog. And don’t touch anything!” Percy instructs Grog to move towards the nearly nude portrait.

You listen to Percy’s instructions but seem to stick to him as he searches, not knowing who else to be beside. It’s not like you wanted to walk around aimlessly by yourself- you’d rather look lost than look awkward. Just Percy’s presence is enough to feel normal and at home again.

“Whoaa.. You guys, everything in this room is magical. Where do we even start?” Pike exclaims.

“This guy really has a thing for dragons..” Keyleth comments, awkwardly looking around. She peers down at the dragon spiral- five dragon heads on a carpet. Well- not heads? Dragon necks and heads? Whatever.

“Grog.. it’s rude to stare” Keyleth corrects Grog, disregarding the fact it’s a painting he’s goggling at. “Grog, you’re being gross!” Keyleth tosses a book at Grog and hits his head, the book bouncing off and going straight through the portrait.

“Oh! Keyleth you found it! It’s a portal!” Pike’s excitement is evident as she points at the portrait/portal happily, practically bouncing.

“Nice work,” Vax praises Keyleth with a shocked breath. “Brilliant really.”

Keyleth blushes in response, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Oh.. It was nothing.”

“She threw a book at a head, it was nothing.” Vex cuts into the conversation aggressively correcting the two of them. Thanks Vex. Does Vax just flirt like that with anyone??

You question yourself, but listen to Vex’s speech.

“Listen- if we’re gonna fight Krieg, we have to do this as a team, all right? Organized. As one.”

“Please, we… we don’t do organized. Look at us! We’re Vox Machina We fuck shit up.”

You butt into the conversation. “You don’t get it. We’re potentially fighting a General and a blue fucking dragon. If you want to die, have at it, but don’t expect me to go down with you.” You stand beside Vex, who stands in the middle of you and Vax as you look at the rest of the party ready to jump through the painting.

Vex nods her head in agreement and quietly thanks you under her breath for backing her up. “Can we at least try?”

“Can we atleast go already?” Vax complains, walking toward the portal with disregard for what Vex and you were practically begging the party to listen to.

You two follow suit as Vax pushes Grog through the portal. Vex lets out an annoyed groan and walks through the portal with the rest of the party.

“You know what guys? Goodluck. I’m just gonna keep a lookout from here.” You hear Scanlan’s voice timidly speak through the portal, and you quickly yank him through.

Keyleth shivers. “It’s so cold.. Where is this place?”

“High in the mountains, I’d say.” Vex responds, shivering too.

“Wherever we are.. we’re far from Emon.” Vax comments as you walk through the cold, blue cave, overlooking the shiny gold scattered throughout that gives a small gleam from the small amount of sun peaking through.

The gold glitters gorgeously as the sun hits it just right, and Scanlan lets out a pleased gasp. “No way.”

“Gold.” Vex breathes out in shock, taking in the mass amount of gold.

Grog, Pike, Scanlan, and Vex all run ahead to grab it.

“Seems excessive for a council member.” Percy remarks.

“Seems excessive for anyone.” Vax replies, and follows the rest of the party as they run for the gold like eager children.

You stand by Percy anxiously as the rest of the party shovels gold into bags, daydreaming of the alcohol they can buy with all the gold they’ve ‘found’.

“This is weird. Why are we so eager to take the gold? Aren’t we still trying to kill the General?” You question quietly to Percy as he hums, about to speak but stops when Vex realizes too.

“Wait! Wait wait wait- this gold didn’t fall out of the fucking sky. This is a horde! We’re in the dragon’s lair!” The party promptly drops their gold in shock as Vex yells.

You turn quickly when you hear Keyleth gasp suddenly.

“Intruders.” A loud, dark, ominous voice echoes through the cave. The rock Keyleth was looking at crumbles apart in seconds

“I didn’t do that! Did I do that? I don’t think I did that.” Keyleth questions herself, but the attention quickly turns to Vex as she folds over with hands over her ears, groaning in pain.

“I must say, I’m impressed. To tell you the truth I was certain you would die the moment you met the mighty Brimscythe- But it seems some vermin are harder to kill than others.” A recognizable irish accent shouts from above at your party with disdain.

“You-you wanted Uriel to send the entire army out of Emon.. So your dragon friend could wipe them out!” Vex shouts angrily up at Krieg.

“The Age of Man is coming to an end. There was a time when dragons ruled all of Tal’dorei! When we ruled the entire world.”

“Did he just say we?” Percy asks, reiterating what he heard to the party.

“I’m pretty sure he just fucking did.” You quickly reply to Percy, but in an instant, Krieg shapeshifts into a mighty blue dragon.

“Didn’t see this one coming, did you Vex?” Scanlan shouts at Vex.

“I fucking told you! What are we standing for? Run!” You counter Scanlan, recounting your argument for going in unplanned before. Krieg flies to the top of the cave, hanging onto spikes, and blows lightning at the party. The party quickly scatters about, and Vax takes your hand as you retreat for cover, dragging you along to safety.

The two of you watch from behind a rock as Grog is shocked, and falls to the floor.

“Are you alright?” Percy shouts.

“Uhmm.. no.” Grog replies with a groan.

Krieg blows lightning again, scattering the party more than they already were. Rocks topple on Vax, which you disintegrate with a quick chromatic orb. You hear the sharp whistle of an arrow flying towards Krieg- to which it quickly stops.

“A tickle,” He laughs out. “Let me return the favor.”

“..Shit.” Vex curses as Percy jumps out and quickly drags her away from the oncoming danger as the dragon blows another powerful burst of electricity onto the battlefield. He chases them down, Krieg’s tail smacking into Pike and knocking her into a rock, the air effectively knocked out of her lungs.

“Fools! I’ll devour you all!” Krieg roars out in anger.

Scanlan runs from yet another beam of energy that follows him closely, shouting for help from Pike. She jumps in front of him with her shield, blocking the energy effectively for mere moments before they’re blown away into more rubble.

Krieg flies up and looks for targets, and he quickly aims for Keyleth as she emerges from her vined dome. She lets out a swear and jumps out of the way.

Percy begins shooting the dragon and missing as it flies around. “Vax! Did Gilmore give you any insight on how to kill this thing or did you two flirt the whole time?” Percy shouts angrily across the battlefield, a hail mary in hopes Vax could hear him among the commotion. Truly brave to say such a thing in the near death situation at hand.

“Shit. Right, right. Uh- Dragons are vain, arrogant and hate being insulted!” Vax shouts out in a panic.

“No you fucking idiot! To kill them! The river thing!” You shout back, shaking his shoulders slightly, as if trying to shake the answer out of him like a gumball out of a gumball machine.

Krieg dives in between us, quickly splitting the two of you apart as we jump away from one another to avoid being hit. Grog lets out a scream as he jumps up and slashes in an attempt to hit Krieg, but misses.

“It doesn’t matter. We can’t do shit if it’s in the air!” Pike shouts out.

“Wheres the twin rivers meet.. The neck! You see that? We have to get it on the ground! Vex, do you hear me?” Vax shouts out to his sister.

“Yes! This way. I’ve got a plan.” The party follows Vex and Vax, frantically jumping over rocks to listen to her plan.

“Aw, another one?” Scanlan complains.

“Shut up!” Vex shouts angrily at him.

The dragon breathes out more lightning, and Vex tells the party her plan as they run away from it.

“Look, okay, for once, you were right. Maybe we don’t fight as one. Maybe we do what we do best.”

“What? We have no best!” Keyleth shouts in shock.

Krieg cackles and the party hides behind the temporary safety of a rock.

“So, what do you want us to do? Run out and yell ‘Hey, dragon man, we don’t know what the fuck we’re doing’?”

Vex nods.

“You have to be fucking kidding me.” You groan out distastefully for the plan, realizing what it was.

The party positions themselves around the cave, you hiding behind a rock, focusing on an illusion spell.

“Ha! You think you can hide in my lair?” Krieg laughs out, his steps pounding on the floor as he walks closer to your illusion.

The fog clears atop the rock and reveals Vox Machina- minus you.

The illusion of Grog pushes past Percy. “Hey, taint smear!”

“You’re in my way again, you ape!” The illusion of Percy spits out at Grog.

You imitate Vox Machina’s banter atop the rock, bluffing as the illusioned party breaks into shambles as they argue. You giggle to yourself as you imitate Percy, your giggles heard through the voices of the illusions, very quickly.

“If the two of you would shut up already and let me kill this inflated windbag!” Your illusion of Vex spits out, aiming her bow at Krieg.

“Kill me? I am the iron storm. You are nothing but insects!” He growls, and lets out another massive and powerful ray of thunder through his mouth, directly hitting your illusions, and they remain standing- but are shrouded in the smoke of the blast. You hold your head in pain, but stay silent to avoid revealing the illusions.

He laughs out. “Pathetic.”

As the mist finally clears, the illusions reveal themselves unharmed.

“What? Impossible!” Krieg shouts in anger as a purple mist surrounds the illusions, finally dissipating them.

Scanlan clears his throat. “Gotcha.”

“Now!” Vex shouts desperately as the party begins running out- Keyleth holding down Krieg with vines, Percy shooting down the cave’s ceiling spikes which fall into Krieg’s wings, Vax runs through the rubble as rocks follow around him, and Scanlan’s magic hand punches one that would have fell and crushed him. He quickly picks him up and throws him at the dragon.

“Scanlan’s hand!”

Vax jumps onto the dragon and runs his dagger down it’s neck and all the way to it’s throat, slicing it in one swipe. It splashes and sputters blood out, letting out a groan of pain.

Pike casts guidance on Vex, “Light him up Vex!” She shouts, as Vex promptly shoots several arrows at the now exposed throat.

Krieg falls to the ground in a fit of pain. “I will sunder your bones!”

“Look who’s nice and low?” Vex tells Grog, to which he sneers and runs towards Krieg.

“I would like to rage!” Grog shouts, now entering a state of absolute enraged blindness, moves closer and closer to Krieg.

Grog slams Krieg’s head into the cave floor and a large shock of electricity runs through the cave- in the death of the dragon.

The party looks towards Grog- who stands in front of Krieg’s sliced in half dragon head.

Grog groans with one eye closed, which probably got blood in it. “Uh. Is he dead?”

Keyleth laughs in relief. “We did that! We did that right?”

“It seems being a bunch of assholes has it’s merits.” Percy replies, just as relieved as Keyleth.

Still leaning against the rock you summoned the illusions on, you don’t notice when Vax sticks out a hand for you, as your eyes were closed and you were resting your head in pain.

“Come on. We did it, mostly thanks to you.” Vax speaks wholeheartedly to you, and you grab his hand with a weak smile, stumbling as you stand. He lets out a worried ‘oh’ and puts his hand around your waist as you put your arm around his shoulder- the same way Percy had caught you at your first encounter with Krieg. The two of you stumble back towards the party.

Grog pulls out the dragon’s tooth.

“Souvenir?” Scanlan asks.

Grog laughs. “Proof we killed the scaley turd.”

“Huh. You know, you’re a lot smarter than we give you credit for Grog.”

“Yep. I’m a genius.”

The cave suddenly starts falling apart from around you, obviously shaken from the battle fought. A portal opens, and Vax quickly changes the way he holds you- sweeping you off your feet and running with you, an arm under your leg and an arm supporting your back as your arms wrap around his neck tightly.

“Exit strategy?” Pike shouts.

“Run!” Vex responds.

“Wait! The loot!” Scanlan runs, carrying several spell scrolls and piles of gold. He trips, and Keyleth quickly grabs him with her vines, throwing him through the portal.

Vax quickly flicks a coin into the cave. “We got him, kid.”

“Vax! Please, lets go!” You pull on him, trying to persuade him through the portal, sorry for interrupting the sweet gesture, but not keen on losing your life over a coin.

Walking through the portal, the party arrives back at the portrait.

“Vax. You can put me down now.” You tell him, his grip on you still tight.

“Oh- Right. Sorry.” He responds awkwardly, realizing what he was doing as he delicately sets you down.

“You know it was just my head that hurt right? You didn’t need to pick me up- I’m sure I could have stumbled over.” You question him.

His face is powdered with only a faint blush. “Well.. there was no need to run that risk.”

.·:*¨༺༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺༻

“Vox Machina,” Uriel’s voice booms through the room. “For your selfless heroism, I proclaim you all protectors of the realm.. And honorary members of the council of Tal’Dorei.”

The entire party widens their eyes in shock, but you smile. You could only hope this tale would be heard back to Envonium, and your parents would be proud of your journey thus far.. Of course, you would have to hope that you were considered part of Vox Machina first, but that will come with time.

“I know. I can hardly believe it myself.” The council laughs among themselves.

“Oh how I’ve missed respectability.” Percy sighs out.

“Oh how I’ve missed it!” You respond giddily, shaking him in the same way you did Vax, but this time with a huge smile on your face. It was nice to have something in common with someone in the party- and always nicer for it to be a childhood friend. You go from shaking him to a tight hug with a small squeal of excitement. You let go quickly once Vex starts talking, still smiling.

“Yes, yes, yes, that's all fine and good but where is the-” Vex is interrupted as they place the thick, heavy, golden box in front of the party. “Ah. There we are.”

She opens it happily as Scanlan chuckles. “Payday.”

Their smiles disappear when they’re met with parchment and keys. “Keys? Parchment?” Scanlan questions. “Where's our reward?”

“You’re holding it,” Uriel responds. “They deed to your new keep- here in Emon. We need our protectors close at hand to, you know, protect.”

“Uh-huh. Uh, hypothetical question- if we sold it, how much do you think that.. Okay.” Scanlan stops talking when he’s met with the disgruntled faces of the council.

Vex takes the paper from Scanlan.

“Sister.. We have a home.” Vax says somberly.

“Wait till I tell my father! Oh, the Ashari will never believe this. I bet.. I’m ruining a moment right now aren’t I. Yep. I’m just gonna go over.. here.” Keyleth awkwardly walks away from Vax and Vex, and walks to you, where the two of you are practically(and literally) jumping for joy over your accomplishments, and how your people would react.

“As protectors, you must understand that the threat is far from over.” Uriel begins again. “We suspect Krieg may have been part of a larger plot. As such, I have arranged an important banquet to discuss the security of our realm. It’ll be quite delightful, really. We have a wonderful cook.”

“We trust you will all attend. In fact, several dignitaries should be on their way as we speak.” The blonde human council member beside Uriel explains.

I turn to Percy happily. “Do you think Envonium got invited? Ugh, it’s been forever since I’ve seen my auntie, father, and mother!” You list your family members happily, holding Percy’s hands in your hands thinking about it happily. He seemed to be uneasy from the conversation, so you quickly dropped it with a smile, and followed your party back to the dusty keep.

#x reader #percy de rolo #vox machina #percival de rolo #percy de rolo x reader #the legends of vox machina #vax'ildan #vax x reader #vex and vax #the legend of vox machina x reader #love triangle #i tried #wrote while half asleep #the people crave percy #and sometimes Vax i guess #percy x reader #vax'ildan x reader #PERCHANCE LOVE?

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