#without you being actually exposed or aware of anything about their personal lives

[4virgil4]

The way Virgil(‘s media team) is always posting until he loses a game is so fucking hilarious, man. Idk who handles his social media but it genuinely needs a revamp in so many ways. Aside from the fact that it’s robotic and soulless (like people who bother following you in person aren’t here for freaking official training pics we can get that anywhere), the whole mostly disappearing when you lose thing screams scared/shying/avoiding people’s comments. I’ve always had that impression about him anyways and the fact that he completely left the platform after he had a single bad season where he got shat on on twitter a lot really sealed it for me. Obviously he can do whatever makes him comfortable and isn’t obligated to give anyone anything, but if you want to be smart about your media presence and set yourself up for your post-playing career, whatever you got going right now AIN’T it.

[hallowxiu]

How the Brothers Would Deal with MC's Mortality

Mammon:

You casually brought it up as a joke

Probably something like “i’m here for a good time, not a long time” or “why should i care what happens in 100 years? It’s not like i’ll be around to care”

Would probably confuse Mammon at first as to why you wouldn’t be around, but he would put the pieces together in the middle of the night when trying to sleep.

A whole, eyes snapping wide opening and flinging out of his bed kind of moment.

Mammon would worry himself sick

Yes, he knows humans can die, hell, he used to mock you for being so frail when you first came to the Devildom, but now? 

Well, now things are different. How he feels about you is different

He's spending all his money on ways to keep you kicking longer. 

Anything he can think of that’ll help, he’s buying it. Vegetables, fruits, protein powder, comfortable clothes, a nice pillow, vitamins, shampoos- anything. He has no idea where to start, so he just starts grabbing everything. 

I mean, something will have to help, right? 

If you notice he looks panicked, don’t point it out, it’ll only make it worse. Unless you want to be smothered to death from his affection and worry, then by all means. ;)

Leviathan:

Look, he can barely handle his favorite anime characters dying, so you? Yeah, no, that’s way too much. 

Nothing actually popped up to remind Leviathan of your mortality, it was because of Satan throwing his books all around the house that did it. 

Suddenly, it was all he could think about. How did he not think of this before? 

Leviathan is no Satan though, and he’s certainly not Lucifer. Researching medical documents and trying to think of things to keep you alive longer are a little over his head. That being said, there were some things he could do.

Leviathan dove into his own research that would be within his realm of understanding, studying that humans who have more positive mindsets and who are less exposed to depressing forms of media, may live longer than the average person. This- this was something he could work with. 

Suddenly, you were constantly being invited to his room, Leviathan having a variety of slice-of-life anime for you to watch with him, all of which had happy endings to boot. If an anime was even remotely depressing, he made sure to keep that out of reach. 

Video games? He’s keeping it safe; he’s not risking anything here. If it’s not similar to Stardew Valley, Animal Crossing, Dreamlight Valley, or The Sims (which must be on a good day), you’re just not playing it. Kingdom Hearts if you’re lucky. 

Satan:

Would do an insane amount of research 

Likely overheard the topic on a news segment about the tragically short lifespans of humans before it all clicked together.

Satan, unlike the other brothers, has never experienced death before, so while it sounds silly, he never had reason to think of you dying.

Looks up humans who had long lifespans to see how he can implement those things into your lifestyle.

Books will be littered everywhere (although that’s not really unusual, but what is would be the topic of said books- The Long Lives of Humans, Human Lifestyle for Dummies 101, The Road to Human Immortality, etc. etc.)

This is when Satan learns just how easy it is for a human to kick the bucket.

Heart attacks, brain aneurysms, strokes, seizures, cancer, the list goes on and on and it’s starting to scare him. He didn’t know humans could just drop dead. 

He’s going to start researching curses to increase your lifespan, or at the very least he’s going to make sure you’re careful as hell. 

You won’t even get as much as a cut without him being aware of it; he’s going to hover around and mother hen the absolute shit out of you. 

Try not to get too annoyed with him though, it all stems from good intentions. 

Asmodeus:

He’ll be damned if his shopping partner for life is going to die on him.

Asmo isn’t stupid; if anything he’s pretty emotionally aware. He's known for a long time just how short the lifespan of humans is.

But still, it came in the form of a nightmare. One where he couldn’t save you, despite giving his best efforts. The way you died was tragic, long before your life should have ended. 

This sent Asmo somewhat into a frenzied state trying to find things to keep you alive once he woke up. 

Vitamins, vitamins, vitamins

Humans benefit from vitamins, right? Surely you’d benefit from Devildom vitamins then. If it’ll increase the lifespan of a demon, he sees no reason why it wouldn’t increase your lifespan. 

Of course, it really only gives you nicer nails and shinier hair. 

He’s 10x more intense with your morning and night routines. 

He will be unloading all his facial creams on you, and telling you the benefits of each one and how it might add a few years to your lifespan. 

You want to stay up late at night to finish homework? Maybe watch a movie? Yeah, no, not on Asmo’s watch. 

Your ass is going to bed every night at 10pm, right along with him. You do realize you’ll be getting exactly 8 hours of sleep each night, too, right? 

Beelzebub:

Regarding his trauma with Lilith, it came as no surprise when he started to fret over your well-being. 

Poor Beel saw an article that discussed how tragically easy it is for a human to die. The cherry on top? How they could die from simply overeating. 

Overeating isn’t a concept Beel is overly familiar with (because to him, it’s never overeating), and while he knew most people couldn’t keep up with his eating habits, he didn’t think it could actually cause harm to a human, let alone kill them. 

Grocery trips are now a more anxiety-inducing event. 

He’s suddenly paranoid that any of the Devildom food could and will kill you. Are you allergic to anything? How would you even know? 

What if one day he serves you his favorite boiled dragonhead and you just drop dead at the dinner table?? No, that will never do. 

There’s a list of Devildom foods that he knows for sure you can have without dying, but then comes the issue of portion control. How much is too much for a human? 

Beelzebub swore he would never lose another loved one again, and it’s a promise he intends to keep. From now on, you will only eat what he deems safe. 

You want to try a new food in the Devildom that you’ve never had before? You better get some seriously good convincing skills if you want him to cave in. For someone who only ever thinks with his stomach, he’s surprisingly stubborn. 

Belphegor:

He’s still plagued with nightmares about Lilith, especially since he still thinks it’s his fault. Tack that on to the way he blamed you and the rest of the human race for it? The man is walking trauma. 

 Like Asmodeus, this was brought on by nightmares about you dying. Different from Asmo’s, however, you usually died by his hand. Naturally, considering your tumultuous history. 

Belphegor, unlike his brothers, takes a different approach. He just doesn’t approach you at all. 

What better way to keep your lifespan long than by staying away from you altogether? 

Is it something that he wants? Of course not! But how can he trust himself to never hurt you again? To never kill you again. 

He can’t. 

So, he locks himself away in his room, sleeping most of the day or just avoiding the areas you normally like to lounge. 

On a normal day, almost everyone in the household, including yourself, would notice this behavior change. However, since you’re now being cornered by all the brothers and their concerns about your lifespan, it’s easy for Belphegor’s absence to slip your mind. 

This hurts Belphegor, but at the end of the day, he believes this is for the best.

Lucifer: 

Lucifer didn’t need a reminder of your short lifespan; if anything, it’s something he’s thought plenty about. 

Lucifer has trauma, we all know that much. After Lilith, he’s absolutely terrified of losing another loved one to something outside of his control.

And your lifespan is not something that’s out of his control. At least not how he sees it, anyway. 

If you thought he was overbearing or overprotective before, brace yourself. He’s going to step it up several notches. 

No excess of junk food, no more pulling all-nighters, no more sitting around the house gaming all day, and definitely no more overexerting your use of magic. He’s no fool, he knows the toll your magic could eventually take on your body. 

Honestly? He wasn’t this bad until his brothers started to panic about your mortality, and though Lucifer told himself he was above such nonsense, he quickly found himself taking all the precautions they were taking (and then some). 

Fortunately, if you find yourself becoming overwhelmed, they’ll be more than willing to listen to you (granted you take some of their concerns into account).

[3liza]

seriously though from my experience dealing with other rich middle aged men I can tell you this right here, what we are witnessing right now, is the root of much evil in the world.

guys like Matt own and run everything that's privatized and larger than a certain level of scale. these guys get put in a steel tunnel from childhood onward into this weird little knotted ball of insecurity and entitlement, with no time spent during their youth in developing any interpersonal skills at all that aren't "talking slightly too loudly at a corporate party". I've worked as a domme, and a ton of these guys start hiring dominatrices when they get to Matt's age because they're unable to maintain anyone's attention without paying for it anyway and are so crippled with insecurity they can't be honest with women in their lives if they have any. this doesn't help them much because inauthentic human connection makes things worse. exposing even mild, normalized fetishes make them shut down and lash out, but it's not just a sex thing, it's their whole lives. I've watched so many of them hit their 40s, have a bunch of money and a little power, and realize all the poor degenerates they've spent their lives treating like a spectacle or a fantasy are the ones actually having fun, and who other people actually enjoy spending time around. this is pure speculation on my part, idk anything about his personal life and am not trying to find out. the posts are enough to diagnose a dozen extremely pressing problems he will have to painstakingly deconstruct in $10,000 Ayahuasca retreats to get anywhere.

and I wouldn't be so critical about their personal failings as a class of people if they didn't make those failings everyone else's problem. they are fully aware they are fucking up but have always been able to get immediate gratification by standing still and screaming until someone brings them exactly what they need. they know they could use their money to put people in houses or feed them, they deal with this by just not thinking about it. no one has ever genuinely liked them and they're aware of this, often including their own parents. they are frustrated with women. they have zero creative outlets and no skills. even if they have relationships they don't fall in love or experience limerance. all they do is make money or handle money, they are incapable of performing real labor and are alienated from the concept of labor itself so they invent weird orthorexias and compulsive exercise schedules to feel like they're performing labor. a lot of them develop substance problems because it alleviates some of the crippling inhibition and self doubt, but that causes more problems. some of them are narcissists or sociopaths which helps them cope with the extreme isolation but a lot of them arent, and just constantly afflicted with the same problems people get in solitary confinement or being the pariah at a high school. any of them could opt out of all this crap at any time and simply choose not to. these guys are ruining everything.

[chalkrevelations]

if you don't want to talk about this further, just ignore this of course, but have you seen pond's fucking instagram post about build? (without saying his name of course) i know automatic translations can be wonky, but overall, he is making it all about himself and his feelings, STILL "both sides" the whole thing, and throws in a "watch the new ep of our show" (you know... the one they took away from build) at the end. the audacity that man has is just beyond comprehension. i truly hope karma will do its thing and ruin the company and that man's life.

Hi, Anon. I. Hm.

I went back and forth a couple of times on whether I actually did want to respond to this. I have a lot of feelings and opinions about Pond and about BOC under his direction that I’ve rarely spoken about so publicly (although I have some suspicions, for Reasons, that some things I’ve said in semi-private spaces have been spread further than those spaces). I'm very aware that I'm at a cultural and linguistic disadvantage when I try to evaluate anything about Pond or BOC and that I'm therefore working with limited information. But I don’t think it’s a big secret I’m not a fan of Pond’s. From what I’ve seen, I think his behavior has been deeply problematic and unethical, and not just in relationship to Build’s situation - although the way he’s tried to portray himself as peacemaker during this whole debacle with Poi has certainly only exacerbated my negative impression. The best I can give him is that maybe he’s unaware of his own unctuous self-centeredness? So, while it would be gross and skeevy that he would 1) make something as serious as this all about himself and his own feelings, and 2) use it as a mercenary chance to flog his latest BOC property despite the fact that property no longer has anything to do with Build, I wouldn't be surprised by it.

Personally, I'm sorry that I gave him and his company the benefit of the doubt for as long as I did. Like many other people, I bought into the “big happy family” fan service for a while, before eventually accepting that it was just as much fan service as any branded pair, so, mea culpa on that front, right? But I think too many people didn’t and haven’t realized or accepted that, and that Build in particular has paid an out-sized price for it - including when people have put the blame on him for the cracks in the facade, especially in misplaced anger and outrage over the “leaked” DMs that threatened the happy found-family narrative BOC was selling and that fans want(ed) to believe.

I think Pond and BOC have been very good at manipulating fan sentiment into believing their self-imposed Hero Edit and self-promotion as industry disrupter, despite evidence to the contrary that goes back as far as the filming of KPTS, when Poi and Yok got away with sexually and otherwise harassing multiple cast members, including a teenaged Barcode. It extends through leveraging Barcode’s and other cast members' emotional response to Jeff’s departure to provide a show for a live concert audience, and forward to a reality show in which a bunch of young wannabe actors were pressured into exposing their worst moments, on television, for prurient viewer interest. Setting up Apo, of all people, to hawk skin lightener was a terrible thing to do and makes everyone involved a worse human being.

So, no, I wouldn't find this latest skeevy behavior surprising. I don’t know what Build’s hopes and plans are, as far as regaining a domestic career, and he's always seemed, publicly at least, to be far more forgiving of Pond than I would be in his position. I don't know if that's personal, cultural, or professionally rooted. But I personally hope Build has enough resources to allow him to avoid getting involved with Pond again, given the way Pond and BOC have treated him – from folding to a ginned-up harassment campaign so that Build was kept out of the public eye precisely when VP was airing/trending (funny, that), through leaving him to twist in the wind from the time of Poi’s first salvo of plagiarism accusations - which BOC apparently couldn’t be bothered to respond to, even though it was one of their properties at issue - to Pond standing around for a year and a half with his hands in the air like a bystander while Nong Poi publicly curbstomped someone who Pond claimed was a friend and part of his work "family," before sad-facing for the press about how hurtful it was that Build decided to leave the “family” that had publicly damnatio memoriae’d him.

Anyway, that's really more time and emotional spoons than I want to spend on Pond or his company - tbqh, they're one reason I'm semi-hiatusing at this point - so I'm likely done talking about them after this. But as usual, once I start, I talk forever, so here this is.

[psychic-refugee]

This is taking most of the situations out of context and grossly ignores Bianca’s own toxic behaviour.  

Xavier broke up with Bianca because it’s implied she used her powers ON him, without his permission. She admits “I make one mistake, and you can’t forgive me.” (Woe is the Loneliest Number). I don’t think it’s unreasonable to lose trust in someone who would force their will onto you via powers. If anything, she’s the toxic one in that moment because she brushes off what she did as no big deal when he’s made it clear it upset him. Why give someone a second chance when they seem totally disingenuous? She proved herself to be manipulative. Not just with him, but with everyone. She's lying to everyone about who she is. She poisoned her fellow Nightshade to win the competition.

Xavier tells Wednesday not to trust her visions because she doesn’t have full context. “The first thing he’ll tell you is that visions can’t be trusted. They only show one part of the picture.” (Friend or Woe). An example is her vision of Rowan. She sees him die but has no idea in what context or why. It turns out she inadvertently caused his death because the Hyde was protecting her. If she never ran to the woods and followed him, Rowan would likely still be alive because WE know that Tyler is the Hyde and would have been with Wednesday if she had run away from Nevermore as she originally planned. I’m aware that Wednesday is written as perfect and overpowered, but Xavier is right in this instance. She’s working backwards and using the visions to explain what she wants them to mean instead of just admitting she doesn’t know something. It's like reading one random paragraph in a novel and thinking you can expound the entire story just from that. Further, Xavier tells a psychic that no psychic can solely rely upon their visions, not just Wednesday. He’s not targeting her specifically, he’s acknowledging a flaw in their powers, which is a) true and b) Wednesday never practiced or had a handle on her powers. She admits this to Thing when they’re at the Crackstone barn. "No, I can’t just touch something." Id. She can’t call forth a vision at will nor has any control of what she sees. Not trusting her visions is a fair assessment even if he was specifically speaking about her. It’s not “mansplaining” when Wednesday actually doesn’t know or have experience with her own powers. We know she has a stressed relationship with Morticia ("I would rather dye my hair pink than ask my mother for advice." Id.) and kept her powers a secret for months. She really has no reason to be so reliant on her visions or take them at face value when she literally has no context nor experience.

So, it’s more like telling a baker who inherited their position, with no previous training, and who never actually bakes unless forced to, not to trust the yeast. In addition, yeast does expire and goes bad. An experienced baker tests the yeast ("blooming") before adding it to the recipe, they don’t blindly trust it. This is a failure of an analogy all around.

Xavier does not know the extent of Bianca’s relationship with her mother. Bianca specifically is living a lie at Nevermore. Her name isn’t even Bianca. I don’t think it’s fair to assign him blame of “leaving her” when a) Bianca lied about her home and personal life and b) has never met Bianca’s mother. If anything, he’s presuming she’d be happy because he would be happy if his absentee father had shown up. Again, if Bianca purposely lied about her home life to be better than it was, how is that Xavier’s fault he believed her? His psychic ability isn’t mind reading. I think Bianca looks shocked, but not “terrified.” Any fear Bianca may have is more about her lie being exposed than she is afraid of her mother. Further, since she has admitted to using her powers on him, how do we know she didn’t Siren him to ignore red flags in order to keep her secret? I can sympathise that Biance is getting away from a toxic situation, but why date someone while living a lie? What’s her endgame if she never plans on being honest?

He yanks her into the room for both their benefit as she’s not supposed to be in the boy’s dorm. They’d likely both get in trouble if she were caught. He didn’t invite her, and she could have tried to talk to him somewhere else at any other time. They both literally live on campus. Why is she coming to his room uninvited to go over an issue he’s already made clear was a deal breaker for him? Bianca' s jealousy in that instance is her own issue. They're broken up and he's allowed to move on.

I do agree he shouldn’t have taken her to the dance and then sulked the whole time. He should have gone stag. I’m willing to give grace to a 16-year-old, however, for not perfectly handling every situation in his life with perfect maturity. It was a low stakes dance and in the big scheme of things of what Xavier has done vs what Bianca has done, I think Xavier comes out on top.

[taralen]

🎆HOT TAKE: Jevil was never a sane or good person. His true nature was merely exposed by the "strange someone."

(A theory by an actual insane person.)

Although this is the first time I am addressing Jevil on this blog, I feel it is worth analyzing his character due to his parallel yet vastly different experiences to Spamton's. He is very interesting, and I like him for different reasons, but I can't deny that his actions make him less sympathetic as a person.

In-game, Seam, who was once friends with Jevil, describes him as having "gone mad" after talking to a "strange someone." Fans have taken this as a reliable narrative since it's coming from a presumably old but wise figure who was once close to Jevil. However, allow me to introduce these two concepts:

The Unreliable Narrator Perhaps within Toby's intentions, Seam is portrayed as an old yet wise figure, almost like a wizard. Just because a character appears to fulfill an archetype does not mean that the character is actually that archetype.

Cognitive Bias It is a well-known fact that people are willing to see the best in others who we consider to be friends, family, or lovers. Seam thinking Jevil had "gone mad" was likely due to Jevil never expressing his worst antisocial traits openly before talking to a "strange someone."

Seam also describes Jevil as always being into games, which surprises no one given his jester themes and design. Pranksters can be mean-spirited, and in the case of his implied interactions with Spamton, this is very evident. Spamton describes him as only being into "games," and how no matter what he did (even cheating), he could not beat him. This reference is never in-game, but we can still apply it to our understanding of Jevil's character since it was part of a canon Q&A. His implied coulrophobia and disdain for clowns can either be seen as a meta-commentary and joke about the Deltarune fandom's love for secret bosses or an excellent hint of how mean-spirited and unhinged Jevil really is. Someone doesn't develop a phobia from just one bad game unless that interaction was very uncomfortable to the point where it made Spamton feel threatened (possibly for his life). (Also, I am aware some people say they are exes. Given the lack of substantial evidence of this in-game or in the Q&A, I think it's safer to say that the "ketchup kids" part merely references a meme and shouldn't be considered anything substantial for analysis.)

Jevil was already showing signs of someone with antisocial traits, particularly among individuals with Cluster B personality disorders. He also falls under the category of Personality Type B (unrelated to Cluster B personality disorders) because of his lack of urgency. We can summarize him with these hallmark antisocial traits:

Lacking remorse for actions.

General dearth of empathy.

Grandiose Self-Worth (I CAN DO ANYTHING)

Need for stimulation and prone to boredom (which is why his solitary confinement was awful for him.)

Lying and manipulative (tricks the fun gang into breaking him out of jail only to try and kill them afterward. He doesn't even want Kris or Susie's souls. He just wants to have "fun.")

Lack of any long-term goals (he merely exists for games.)

Lack of value for other's lives (he finds the idea of murdering teenagers as an exciting game.)

Blasé attitude about life. Essentially, he is doing whatever the hell he wants without fear of consequences.

Notice the recurring theme of "games." In this case, a "game" to Jevil means whatever he wants it to mean. A game for him might mean torture for another person. His bullet patterns also exemplify this. They are aggressive, cluttered, and have (fittingly) chaotic patterns. Spamton's, by comparison, are structured and not as dense, showing his restrained need to kill the party to achieve his goals (particularly with Kris.) Also, notably, Jevil never considers the party "friends" by the end of the battle, regardless if you choose the ACT or FIGHT options of beating him. If you pick the ACT option, he goes dormant as a tail, but in the FIGHT version, he stays active as the Devilsknife and shows enthusiasm about being used as a weapon (presumably) to harm others.

And here's the kicker of all this: these traits are seldom learned but are inherent to some individuals, particularly those who fall closer to psychopathy than sociopathy.

Psychopaths have strong genetic predispositions, meaning they are born that way. While there are many psychopaths who never go on to become mass murderers, it takes a significant amount of social pressure and understanding for them to realize their actions will get them into trouble.

Prior to speaking to that "strange someone," Jevil was likely held back by his perceived notions of governance and law in the Card Kingdom. As the court jester, he probably believed he could express his desire to mess with others because of his assigned role. Being the "fool" of the court, he must have made the Card Kings laugh at his expense, and for most of his existence, he was probably okay with this since jesters, in our reality, were known to make some pretty nasty jokes about royals only for it to all be laughed off. Playing games with Seam was just an added bonus, and Seam likely saw good in him that no one else did. However, Jevil learned that he could do whatever the hell he wanted with (perceived) zero consequences, and he ran with it.

Any goodwill he had with Seam or the Card Kings was dropped the instant he knew he could do anything he desired. This is not behavior from someone who is even remotely sane. The "strange someone" told him what he wanted to hear. Now, the jokes were no longer just jokes. Seam mentions Jevil saying things that don't make sense, but there is a shadow of doubt that this is the only reason he was locked away. Considering his interactions with the main party, he may have attempted to kill the Card Kings, hence why he was imprisoned by Seam, the only person, as Court Magician, who could match his strength.

This ties back to my initial arguments about Seam's unreliable narrative and cognitive bias. Seam saw Jevil as sane and playful, whereas the "strange someone" knew Jevil wanted to unleash his inner thirst for more dangerous games. These needs were always there, he just needed someone to tell him he could do them.

☠️

This is a bit of an aside, but I recommend anyone who likes Jevil to read Edgar Allan Poe's short story, Hop-Frog. It's about a diminutive jester whose attitude closely mirrors Jevil's, only without a Seam to hold that jester back. Honestly, Hop-Frog was the first thing that popped into my head after beating Jevil. It's definitely worth a read (or listen if you can't read it.)

Like with my Spamton sanity theory, I hope my Jevil analysis and insight as someone with life-long mental health problems can help others see this character in a way that may be enlightening or interesting.

💜

[i-sveikata]

Hello my fantastic author, how are you?

Today I'm back with a question that came to me while rereading chapter 15 (or 16.. oh my I'm missing out too much XD). The scene, or rather the concept, is when Pete finds out through his grandmother that Vegas has left him, literally, a mountain of money in her bank account. I was thinking back to the scene when Pete was in the car with Vegas at the funeral (whoo the first time Pete actually asked Vegas to give him a blowjob XD - bold Pete) where Pete understands that something is wrong but Vegas doesn't say anything about the money.

I always thought that she did this gesture of love to allow Pete to somehow escape from that world if things went badly. But then reading the following chapters, and as we have seen Vegas exposed under the drugs, I have a question or maybe two:

Vegas could have done, even if unconsciously, this gesture thinking that Pete could have abandoned him to live with his grandmother far from everything and therefore would have lived better without him?

Or Vegas could have done this because he knew there would be a coup and wanted Pete to be able to choose and live?

I am not so convinced that the second option could be true, judging from the recklessness and certainty that Vegas showed during the attack on Pete, being sure that he and his father would have overthrown Korn, but I am curious about your opinion author.

Just for information … I had this thought again last week then puff it disappeared and I continued to think "Damn what was I supposed to ask …." and then luckily it came back to me!!!

Aahahah your VegasPete occupy my mind completely!!!

Thanks as always…and if you want to share some other little Vegas/Pete interactions from the next chapter, who am I to stop you??? Hahaha

Hey there!! Im doing great got a public a holiday Monday so long weekend woohoo I’m thriving!

Oh interesting question!

But I will point out that in the fic Pete and his grandmother have a shared bank account because Pete takes looking after his grandmother very very seriously (and is very high key feeling like he’ll never be able to pay her back for saving him as a child) which is why he’s more hands on then say her actual sons/ Pete’s uncles.

So it wasn’t necessarily a gesture towards Pete’s grandmother. Although Vegas gave him the money fully aware that Pete would probably use it to help his family (and even maybe his friends).

Vegas’ decision was made by three important factors: being injured and forced to confront his own mortality, wanting Pete to be able to protect himself financially so the rest of Vegas’ family couldn’t use that to hold Pete ransom like they ended up doing with Porsche and wanting to be certain Pete is able to look after himself regardless of whether Vegas died or not.

I think because Vegas is afraid of being abandoned, he’s doing everything in his power to emotionally push Pete away first before it hurts too much. Only he keeps affording Pete the kind of agency and power that means Pete could walk away and choose to do so with minimal damage (in Vegas opinion which obvs we all know is wrong lol). But an interesting consequence of that is he’s actually making Pete even more certain of Vegas in some ways then he otherwise would have been if Vegas had tried to hold on too tightly and tried to tie him up, lock him away and control him etc.

Vegas keeps proving that he’d help Pete in spite of his own interests- he’s putting Pete first in a way that Pete hasn’t really experienced all that much. It’s also why Pete’s care of Vegas has intensified in the last few chapters or so: he’s fully aware that Vegas is giving him everything even going as far as to go against his own personal safety. So of course Pete is now watching his back for him, shoring up that side when it’s clear Vegas will give him everything and won’t protect himself. Pete isn’t an unequal lover, that kind of devotion is especially effecting him and that’s why he’s trying to return it in his own ways. By being protective of Vegas and his body, by stealing him away from the main family, by helping him claim back the head of the minor family etc etc.

Vegas was definitely reckless with himself during the coup but not Pete. And I think he’s starting to figure out the kind of person Pete is- he realises Pete would never have been satisfied running away forever. Or giving up the life for good. Pete’s not like Kinn and Porsche he actually chose this for himself in a lot of similar ways that Vegas chose to embrace his own criminal inheritance.

Tbh despite his own internal misgivings about himself, Vegas loves in a way that’s almost antagonistic to how he perceives himself. Vegas sees himself as a monster, a weapon something that can only inflict pain and suffering. But it’s interesting to see how that comes across in his relationships. Those he loves he protects, Vegas’ love is to shield others from suffering. So they don’t experience the kind of pain that he has experienced in his life. Which is why he stood between his father and his brother and it’s why he gave Pete all that money.

He’s mostly a weapon but he’s also a shield, whereas Pete is mostly a shield but also a weapon.

Like Pete has protected the family of course, but he’s inflicted suffering on others at their behest also. He hasn’t solely been a noble shield. There are shades of grey in the things he’s done to survive just as there are in Vegas.

It’s funny too because I don’t think either of them have clicked with how often they’re switching between that dynamic as they’re moving through the world. If one is being the weapon the other is generally being a shield- those bastards are so freaking compatible it makes me want to chew at the walls hahahha.

I would love to share a snippet but alas I’m at work! I’ll come back and add something in later :) but hope that sort of answers your question!

[dnpbeats]

hi! i saw ur posts about age ratings etc and i do have Thoughts - not meaning to come off rude or critical or anything just sharing a different perspective :)

firstly, i think anyone who watches dan and phil's content and enjoys it enough to purchase (fairly expensive) tickets and arrange to go see it is probably fully aware of the type of jokes they will make and able to make a decent judgement call on whether it is appropriate for them to see.

secondly, and this relates more to the UK and shows there, (i cannot speak on other countries - i don't have the lived experience) but teenagers have heard sex jokes. teenagers have been exposed to "inappropriate" content. i doubt that TIT will be particularly shocking to 15 to 17 year olds.

finally, i think unnecessary exclusion is dumb. i will be 17 when i go to my show, and i will also have been watching dan and phil for nine years. i know many people won't agree with this, and i am for sure biased, but i think denying the opportunity to see dip n pip live to people who have been fans for years over a few months of age is just kind of sad.

hi! no worries you aren’t being rude :) when I say I think it’s weird that it’s not age-restricted, i don’t mean like Only Adults Can Set Foot In This Venue™, more so I just think it’s weird that technically speaking this event is all-ages. the under-14 rule seems to be a kind of “default” rule at d&p’s tours as it was also in place for tatinof and ii, and I would imagine is mainly to do with safety, not the content of the show. also seeing as this is a d&p rule and not a venue rule, idk how it works with venues like knowing people’s ages/enforcing it (I was just under 14 when I went to tatinof but I was with my friend’s dad so 🤷🏻‍♀️). the show is all ages so as a venue I imagine they’re not gonna be strict about who is coming into the theatre with or without an adult. for context I am in the US, and here for R rated movies if you’re under 17 you have to have a parent or guardian with u (or at least buy the ticket for you). so personally in my mind, all ages equates to being more tame than an R rated movie. basically what I’m trying to say is the content warning means nothing in terms of who is able to see the show (also while tit and wad both have content warnings, two things I will say is that the tit content warning wasn’t obvious to find, and also it says “may contain xyz” whereas wad said “will contain xyz” idk anyway)

sorry I’m rambling and not actually responding to what u said 😭 basically lol okay I’m not a parental guidance tour rater so at the end of the day what the fuck do I know. I’m not saying “omg tit should’ve been 18+ so Dan and Phil can fuck live on stage.” HOWEVER I imagine there’s things they could say/do/talk about if the show was let’s say rated 16+ w/ no wiggle room vs. being rated all ages but “hey if you’re -14 bring an adult and also we might say cuss words :3” you know? it’s not so much about exclusion but more about “how wild is this show actually allowed to be when there’s not an actual solid age restriction?”

not that I think wildness equates to the quality of the show, but just that the way d&p have been marketing and setting up our expectations is that this show is gonna be SO BATSHIT CRAZY NOTHING HELD BACK ‼️‼️‼️‼️ when like, in reality idk how possible that is for something rated all-ages. so more than anything I’m just thinking about managing expectations

[tihanaackerman]

Hey there thank you for answering my questions!

I do have more questions, especially from your reply.

What exactly is your purpose of telling the whole world that Levi is real and he is your boyfriend? What would you like to achieve?

Actually, I am not impatient as I am not waiting for anything. If I wanna believe it, I can do it right now. But I can’t really imagine or comprehend that there will be a “better” time to share proof. It will stir chaos, no matter when you would share more. What would change in a year or so? Levi is going to be one of the most loved characters in anime history and people would react to his “real” pictures the same way now and the same way in 10 years even.

Unfortunately, right now these are only words. Words that anyone can make up. Would you believe it if I told you that Gojo Satoru shifted reality and he is sitting next to me, caressing my face and whispering sweet nothings in my ear right now? It can be true, it can be fake, you will never know.

I am not trying to be disrespectful at all, I am trying to make you see other people’s side as well and what you are stating sounds nearly impossible, so it’s only natural that people would love to know more.

Have you thought of contacting Isayama-san? He is the person, who “brought” Levi into this world… imagine how it would feel to show him he is real? Wouldn’t Levi want to meet the amazing mangaka that wrote his stories?

I just think, from what you’re saying… if Levi is so private and he was supposedly my boyfriend, I’m not sure I would have exposed him this way. Then let your world be private, let you both love each other quietly. You can talk about and share knowledge about twin flames and universes without actually telling everyone that Levi is right next to you… but if you both chose to share this with the world then it does not make sense without 100% coming out. But then of course that would actually change the whole world…

Sorry for this being long but I am pretty close to this topic and your blog raises many thoughts and questions.

Hi, of course I will answer :)

Nothing, dear, nothing is my goal, if others can write fanfiction and headcannon, why would I be "forbidden" to write about my experience with him? I have the right to do that, don't I? Or i'm wrong...💁‍♀️

------------------

1. So, as I said in the previous post, he doesn't want to show himself until he decides he wants to... and I completely understand him, I don't want to force him because you can't persuade him to do something he doesn't want :)

He just got used to Instagram, TV and radio and even electricity, TV was like a treasure to him, he stared at it and he didn't take his eyes off it, of course he had a lot of questions about how it works, etc.. which was not the case in his time and you know that.. and now that he's going to show himself off to everyone right away, he doesn't want to, he's not ready for such a bunch of people.. do you understand? Because I still have to explain some things to him, and that's why we decided to reveal ourselves step by step in this way, and not so suddenly and without analyzing at all, because of course he is used to analyzing everything before starting something, what's still left for him from there, considering that he faced hell there almost every day. So he always analyzes and plans in advance and often talks about it, for example: What if everyone starts attacking you, what if they start harassing me, what if they starts following us, etc., etc... of course I explained to him about world famous people, for example actors , singers, etc. and how they work, you know about them, but most of their lives are private and under the cameras, and Levi is very popular you know how that works..but he doesn't. And he still learning on everything...he won't hide forever, let that be clear to you, because we will probably travel to other cities and people will start to notice him obviously, you are aware that he has a lot of fans all over the world right?

I don't think that's the case at all, because some people don't see him as he really is, and that annoys him a lot and makes him angry, because all day long he would suffer and suffer shit there, while some certain fans would make a circus and make fun of him... certain fans attacked me because I said that Levi didn't deserve to be seen as just for sex And that made him terribly angry because he understands that I somehow defended him from such crap but he didn't understand and still doesn't understand how people behave terribly here. And they have no respect for each other anymore. He saw and read every stupid comment that certain fans wrote to me and how much they insulted me, it was not clear to him that someone is being attacked so much because of the whole truth in general...he said that they are sick. And he was teary-eyed as we talked about some things and the thing is, it was all too much for him. But really too much for a person who has been through so much shit in life. Obviously no one will ever see him the same way, and look at him the same way, that's quite clear, but he was angry and disappointed with they're behavior..It got to the point that he regretted coming here, and that he will leave here back to his universe only if I go too... :)

2. My dear, this is not the first time for me, I was close to a girl who had a relationship with the same popular character, he was from the movie, they were together, and I even saw him and talked to him, it's not strange anymore..but Hahaha Gojo Satoru hmm well why not? ;) I also had the opportunity to contact a girl who is now 34 years old and also has a relationship with her favorite character and sees him and hears him and she is with him, because they love each other, he is also a very popular character, from book and movie :) And she knows what I'm going through, some certain fans wrote to her that she has to take someone else, so that she would leave that character to them, because he is not for her blah blah..so what are we talking about? that's all because if you have a deep soul connection with someone, you also have the opportunity to be with him, regardless of whether he is a "fictional character" or completely to another universe :) souls are not bound to one universe, you know that? And since a lot of new and mystical things are discovered every day, nothing is strange anymore :)😁 isn't it? And especially if it's a twin flame or soulmates, the universe will always find a way for two souls to find each other again, no matter how banal it sounds like a or some good book. :) right? 😂 I also had relationships long before Levi, I had crushes and loved many other characters from anime movies, but did you really think that I expected Levi Ackerman to be mine one day? Wtf? I'm sorry but this between me and him came completely naturally ❤️ and I, like everyone else, just thought they were fictional characters until this started happening around me and at that friend's place where she was with her favorite character... then I started too understand that nothing is IMPOSSIBLE ♡♡

3. Haha, speaking of him, Levi already knows about all that and that it's from the manga and I've already explained it to him, and that others gave him a voice and a lot of other things... which was quite a big shock for him... after everything.. oh of course we can but a man will have a heart attack when he sees him... hahaha we don't want to, it's not time for that yet :) and we need to find him, he's not a neighbor so we can pass him across the road and say hey I'm here... it doesn't work like that. :) No? It's not amazing to him because his whole life was shitty and half of it wasn't shown in the anime or the manga because his world is real like this one, it was 3D for him like this world for us.

4. What? He can't be my boyfriend? What is the problem that we have that? I don't understand why you jumped so much about it..but he and I have a lot of topics to talk about and of course we talked about all this and I said we're already going step by step, I don't want to keep repeating myself, and he also wrote to you that he doesn't want to force it. When he says okay Tina post a pictures, it's been a while, I'll do it and he'll do it, no problem...we don't want to bring people to the ready act.. believe it or not but do you really think I would waste my time if I write something like this publicly? Well, I would be ashamed and embarrassed..fr.

5. Why not? So much is written about him such nonsense that has nothing to do with him, and he read the facts about himself, he was, to say the least, disgusted and shocked in the sense of "this is sick" and what else can I say? We don't all have the same opinion, believe it or not, is really not my problem. I talked to him, I told him what was waiting for us and he decided to do this together with me. And of course I was interested in whether anyone had something similar with someone else, and of course I understand that you need to have the courage to write something like this. :) as I said, world-famous actors and singers also have their "privacy", but they are also constantly being "watching " and they still live their lives. But you know about them, so what's the difference? Who waits, he waits. ^^ regardless of whether you have faith or not, it's neither my problem nor his. Everyone looks for themselves and decides for themselves if you want to believe, you will believe and if not again that is your opinion, I cannot and will not compete with you in terms of "YES YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE" forget it. If you can't accept, I won't even push you,

And I think I've answered everything now... have a nice day or the rest of the evening ❤️

[burningtheroots]

Hey, I'm a cis lesbian and I used to be a radfem. I was sexually harassed by a man during my middle school years and it made me so angry at the world, and thus I started hating all men and thinking they were evil and they should die. Despite the fact I had male relatives and friends who were nothing but kind and supportive and loving to me.

After some therapy and reflection, I realized that I was just taking the easy way out. It's easier to turn your trauma and fear into hatred and anger towards a scapegoat group instead of actually doing the hard work of self reflecting.

Are there evil men? Of course. Is the patriarchy a problem? Definitely. Are there transgender people who are only trans to pray upon others? Inevitable.

But just as there are bad people in every group of people, that doesn't define them. Most trans people I've met know genitalia preference is a thing and respect that. The ones who don't are just full of themselves. Most of them just want to live their life the way they want to live it. In such a short amount of time on this earth, why waste it being hateful to others?

Continue to fight for female-sex rights, that is important. Fight for gay rights, fight for women rights. But all of these can be achieved without fearing or hating all men and transgender people. If anything, that just gets in the way of achieving real change.

Sorry for sending such a long ask. I'm not trying to be rude or mean. It's just, I worry sometimes about the young people in this community because I see myself in it, and how scared and unhappy and angry I was all the time because I refused to actually work through my trauma....and of course, like I said, this is not me saying there aren't things wrong with the world. There are. But not everyone is out to get you, this world is beautiful.

I'm not trying to invalidate in feelings you may have. As women we are dealt the short end of the stick from birth, and it is important we keep fighting. But fight against the real enemies; the lawmakers, the corporations, societal expectations. But "men" and "transgender" as a group as a whole are not your enemies...and using intentionally proactive language like that, it harms your chance of people wanting to listen since you're insulting people based on something as fundamental as their gender or sex. I think all of you could achieve great stuff for women if hating the "other side" wasn't in the equation.

Anyway, sorry again for the length. You might think I'm being ridiculous and this may never change your mind. And that's fine. I just felt sharing my perspective as an ex-radfem may be interesting or helpful, or something.

Hey! I‘m sorry for the late response, I wanted to have enough time to reply throughoutly & was quite busy this week.

First of all, I‘m sorry that this happened to you and I‘m glad that you had support from your family and friends.

However, I think the assumption that radfems, and me in particular, blindly turn their trauma into hatred is incorrect and doesn’t take into account that radical feminism is a feminist theory which analyzes, exposes & fights systemic oppression.

It‘s a fact that every man is complicit in & benefits from misogyny and patriarchy to a certain degree, which doesn’t mean that we think every man is an evil predator. As for me, my standard is that a man has to be 0% misogynistic — which is the minimum, I expect further allyship — to be "good". Somehow women are looked down upon when they have such "high" expectations when it comes to members of their oppressor class, and I‘m aware that it‘s nearly impossible to find a man like that in our current world, but does that mean I should tolerate even 0.00001 of misogyny from a man? No. It means I‘m perfectly justified to center women & particularly like-minded women in my life.

As for transgender people, I don’t hate any dysphoric (!) person for being dysphoric and trying to live their life. I actually care a lot about the well-being of dysphoric people, but I‘m also well-aware that the TRA ideology (which doesn’t equal individuals with actual dysphoria) blatantly attacks women‘s rights & protections, and while many trans-identified people respect sexualities as they are, my criticism of the movement is still valid.

And I understand & respect where you‘re coming from, though I think that radical (=root) feminism is often falsely mistaken for extremism, which it is not. Since discovering radical feminism and other radfems, I actually feel much more understood and safe.

Women‘s rights & liberation don’t have to be palatable to men, and everything I share and say on my blog is backed up by facts. I don‘t "hate men", I hate misogynistic men — and it‘s on them not to be one of those.

Anyways, thanks for sharing your experience and being friendly. It‘s quite refreshing. xx

[ohraicodoll]

How would you describe feral!reader's personality?? Her positive and negative traits, that's a great thing to script

Answer if you want!! I love reading your fics, and I love readers who aren't wimps or anything like that.

Thank you!! I'd say some of it is covered in "Monster" but it's hard to put into words exactly what makes things positive and negative. She's very resourceful and quick on her feet, adaptable, is able to focus to the point of it being tunnel vision when something needs to get done, and is kind to those she lets in. She's loyal, so extremely loyal, if you fall into the category of being "her people." She wants to take care of them however she can. This can be a bit of a moral conundrum because she isn't exactly the best moral guiding light. She'll help because she loves them even if its a bad thing. That loyalty and love can also lead to her being extremely selfless to the point of self-destruction, as Joel gets angry at her for. She doesn't care about herself and knows she's a weapon and weapons are meant to be used. Things don't make her squeamish anymore. Violence doesn't affect her. There's a very big disconnect between taking a life and the damage it does to her soul and she's actually okay with that. No sleep is lost. But it means she's very disconnected from normal people and the "old way" of life which makes being in Jackson hard for her. When you survive alone for so long, you feel comfortable with the quiet and Jackson is so noisy. She sees them as easy targets. What does politeness and manners have to do with anything anymore? Hospitality gets you killed. People will inevitably stab you in the back. So living in a commune rubs her the wrong way. She's aware of the difference of who she use to be and who she is now and sometimes feels self-conscious about it. Knows she's not beautiful and bubbly and bright anymore after 20 years. The old her was gentle and loving and affectionate. Someone that would have wanted a family and kids and the whole white-picket life. Maybe someone the old Joel would have wanted. Who she is now is the monster under the bed and who wants to have a family with that? I think that's why she's so protective of Ellie and Joel. They're mirrors of her, but not completely without their empathy and care. They're feral in their own ways, but not as far gone, and it's something she wants to protect desperately. In their group when they're alone in their house, she's softer. Quieter. She likes to be touched, hugged, will sit on the couch with Ellie between her legs and braid her hair so its out of the way when she works at the stables. She cleans all theirs knifes and guns and even trades to get Joel a crafting table put in one of the rooms. She notices small things about them and leaves them where they can find them, never telling them she's doing it. Like if they noticed her tokens of affections, a part of her will be exposed. It's like living with a barn cat that's taken a liking to you. They let her come to them on her own terms, too much affection spooking her. Slowly, day by day, they take care of her in the same way she takes care of them.

[sheltershock]

Being sick is the worst. I can’t imagine how hard it would be for a psychic…or can I? 

Sasha already has a canon aversion to germs. I wouldn’t say he’s a hypochondriac, but he’d probably consider getting sick one of the worst things that can happen to him. The most dreadful part is the removal of his bodily autonomy. He's fine with smoking cigarettes, and is aware that they’re bad, but that’s a choice he’s making about his body. He did not choose for someone to come into his shared space sick, spread their germs around, and now he has the suffer the painful consequences of their actions. Absolutely not. Since he can’t really police sick people though he’s really conscious about germs and sanitation. He probably casually has boxes of disposable face masks just in case he has to encounter a sick person, and his aesthetic lets him get away with it for the most part without anyone suspecting anything offensive. But when he does get sick it’s him drifting in and out of consciousness trying to work from home, failing, and then succumbing to exhaustion. Lots of loss of productivity guilt.  

Sasha never thought he’d have to take care of anyone while they’re sick, after all that’s what hospitals are for, and he chose to not work in a hospital. But then at some point after they moved in together, Milla eventually got sick. Honestly his first thought was to leave and stay in a hotel until she got better. She said she’d be fine and that she can take care of herself anyway. But they’re together, and seeing Milla upset/unwell makes him…uncomfortable. Plus, he’s probably already been exposed anyway so…he chose to stay. He moved into the living space  for the foreseeable future, keeping everything as disinfected as possible and left the bedroom to serve as a quarantine. Milla was initially surprised to wake up to see Sasha still there, knowing what he’s like, but was ultimately happy by it. 

As a caretaker, Milla is used to germs. She’s pretty much ready to be a nurse to whoever for however long it takes for them to recover from their sickness. She keeps track of medicine and administration times, food and drinks, cleanliness, even just being nearby and available for emotional needs. She’s got everything under control, so there’s nothing to worry about. She applies the same philosophy as herself being sick: you just need to slow down and rest up, darling.

Milla, however, was not expecting that she wouldn’t really receive the same level of care from Sasha she gives to everyone else when they’re sick. He’d almost never be in the room with her, no matter how many times she’d try to convince him. He’d happily talk to her through telepathy but it wasn’t really the same to her. She had the romantic idea of her feverishly speaking her mind as her lover grasped her hand from her bedside, like in romantic comedies. And even if they both ended up catching the same illness at least they could stay with each other in painful solidarity. Sasha did not find this fantasy funny nor romantic. Whenever he was in the room with her, he always had a medical mask and disposable gloves on. But that was a rare sight after she kept trying to grasp his wrist to convince him to stay with her. She completely understands why he wouldn’t, but it still hurt. 

Instead of bringing out food or drinks, Milla would wake up to bowls on the bedside table and glasses of water. It initially took her a few hours and several micro naps to realize the glass hadn’t actually become empty despite how much she’d drink. Medicine would be laid out nicely with handwritten notes with instructions and timecards which listed out the previous times she’d woken up to take them. The washcloths on her forehead, around her neck and wrapped around her wrists hadn’t dried out yet.

Milla considers getting sick as a sign from the universe or just her body that she needs to slow down and take care of herself. Her body is looking for her! And since she’s pretty active and generally healthy, Milla doesn’t get sick very often, which only serves to prove her own mindset. She doesn’t have any problems with taking those sick days off, sleeping most of the day, watching TV, having soup and warm drinks…she just wishes she felt like doing any of those things. The aches and pains just make her really clingy to anyone willing to give her the time of day, willing to talk their ear off. She doesn't enjoy being alone for long periods of time when she’s well, and she especially doesn't like it when she’s sick. And in the delirium that comes with a fever, her control over her own mind slips.

Fever dreams mock her pain as the Nightmares twist and tangle her past and present emotions into a living hell. While technically someone could go in there and defeat all her Nightmares, they’d just reform quicker than it’s worth to get rid of them. Her fatigue from the illness has her subconscious mostly taking the reins rather than her waking mind. And as a result,  the regeneration time is insane as her memories fire off in jumbled slideshows some people would refer to as dreams. As much as she’d like to spend all her time sick staying up with the hypnotic static of a TV screen, the stable pages of a book or the allure of a new conversation, she has to return to that world eventually. There are few things that can alleviate her Nightmares on good days, and even less on her worst ones. But sometimes, despite her illness, Sasha will climb in with Milla and hold her while she sleeps. 

She’d stir amongst feverish dreams where party guests shrink and don the distorted screaming faces of people long lost. Beside frigid, hissing flames she’d feel sheets and blankets she’s under shift, and hear mumbles about how sticky the linen is with lukewarm sweat. And as she opens her eyes she’d see her upper body and head be moved so a pair of arms securely wrap themselves around her shoulders and waist. Another shiver would slide down her spine. Boiling parts of her body that were locked away under the blankets would be exposed to the cruel air conditioned exterior. 

But she’d feel the warmth wrapped around her upper body from the new embrace and yawn. Tears would well in her eyes from the pulsating rhythm down her neck, and her lover would shudder, being all too knowledgeable about the germs being released as she opened her mouth. A shaky hand would find its way to the side of her head. She coughed, quickly grasping onto the much cleaner fabric of her lover’s clothes. But as she eased her breathing she’d feel a slow, soothing stroking sensation ever so lightly on the surface of her scalp, through her hair, and to the bare skin of her neck. 

Her eyelids would grow heavy again. But unwilling to return the fiery hellscape currently commandeering her own party, she’d forcibly grasp them open again. She’d yawn again, and feel the hand combing through her hair twitch– just for a second. But Sasha is here. She allows her vision to fall to black, and just focuses on feeling the rise and fall of his chest and the slightly faster heart rate. Like the lull of a moving train, she’d drift off and her dreams would be a little less worse. Faces become transparent. Frostbitten, charred wallpaper is more vibrant. The vocals of the music fall to murmurs. The real world still calls. Still hearing the hum of the air conditioner, feeling the rise and fall akin to warm ocean waves and the scent of something she can’t quite put her finger on through her stuffy nose, but she knows smells good. 

She hums lightly, about to say something, but the vibrations only make the soreness worse. She opens her mouth, before closing it and burying her face farther into his chest. She swallows and her throat burns. A weight from the back of her head tilts towards her face and everything starts to feel more distant. She clutches the fabric harder. It twists in her grimy fingers. 

The arm around her waist shifts as a hand reaches up to cusp the side of her jawline. With one arm around her back and the other resting over her breast, she sighs into another yawn. Exhaling softly, her grip loosens as her fingers relax and rests into the mild heat of a warm body. And her mind does too. 

For a brief moment she looks through her eyes again. The blankets bear different patterns. Her arms are wrapped around a pillow, but it’s just as soft. Light pours into the hallway from a widening door frame. The mirror inside the hallway bathroom is completely fogged up. An arm stretches into view as the light disappears with a click. Milla’s eyes close and she can hear the kettle hiss as she drifts off again. 

[cirque-dhomosexual]

!!! Wednesday spoilers !!!!

Ive had this post in my drafts for too long 💀💀💀 but I've finally gotten the energy to complete it so without further adue: Reasons why I think Enid Sinclair is a coded lesbian dealing with comphet:

Her biggest fear is dying alone and having no prospects at finding a mate and will throw herself into the person giving the attention because she thinks that's the last chance she has at it

This one is pretty self explanatory. As a kid with terrible self-esteem and confidence issues, it's easy to both feel unlovable and throw yourself entirely into someone you think will love you. For me, this was an issue back when I was still grappling with my sexuality. So I know what it's like to just run head first into the first person, especially boy, that gives you a crumb of attention. Her need to be with a boy could be a result in internalized homophobia and what she was told growing up.

Her crush on Ajax even though they have never had a meaningful interaction

First of all, she didn't seem to be all that interested in Ajax when she introduced him to Wednesday. Second of all, that's a very common experience amongst lesbians. She just plucked a boy out of the blue, a boy she can tolerate, and decides to have a crush on him despite never actually interacting.

Her inability to fully transform and her mom not "accepting her for who she really is" and sending her to "conversion therapy"

Taking this apart piece by piece, we know two things. One, she is forced to live up to society's expectations despite being "slightly off". Lycanthropy is a longstanding metaphor for queerness and I don't see why it would change for Enid. Two, this reads so much as a queer narrative. If you switch the context from wolfing out to coming out it retains the same level of sense. The meaning doesn't even change.

The way her nails pop out when she's kissing Ajax

You may argue that they could have popped out because she was feeling overwhelmed with happiness or something but the show has shown, consistently might I add, that Enid's claws pop out when she's in distress/not at all happy. They didn't pop out when she was happy about winning the poe cup. It's a defensive mechanism that I don't think she's consciously aware of. Besides that, why would Ajax make her better if you look at it as her being excited. If anything, it would exacerbate the issue.

How she is superficially close with Ajax

This one is more founded on the fact she couldn't allow herself to be vulnerable with Ajax after the fight with Tyler. She couldn't run to him or even hug him. He's doing all the work here which wouldn't make sense if she genuinely felt for him. This is upheld when she is gripping onto her jacket with him. In a symbolic sense, the jacket can be read as a shield keeping her from exposing herself. She has a need to shield herself around him but with Wednesday she doesn't care. Again, she deadass bolts to her and doesn't care if she's only wearing a jacket. I'm just saying there's multiple ways to read the hug scene.

Now of course this is all subjective. Keep in mind this is a head canon regardless of whether or not I believe it is well supported. I did find similarities between my own journey and her so I could be a bit biased too.

[dogwittaablog]

not only was it on my bingo card for 2024, it was there in 2023, 2022, and 2021 pre vegas trade.

here is what drives me up the wall about hockey fans. hockey rpf isn’t real. these players aren’t babygirls. they’re not himbos. they’re not pocket sized. these psychos picked the most violent sport out there (before you say anything else, find me another team sport involving foot knives). these psychos picked one where they get to ram into each other at high speed. crush the other person’s body. most of them choose not to wear added gear that prevents being sliced because guess what! hockey players are dumb enough to play through it.

do you know why they do special stories on the ones who go to college? do you know why it’s even rarer that they graduate those colleges? do you know why

yes. i did have a bingo card with “Nolan Patrick hates women and doesn’t believe rape victims” for 2024 because i saw how he responded to assault victims in the past. most of the internet did. and yet y’all are still entertaining the idea they ‘not all men’. c

how many good guys do you know call their friends f*g’s so frequently that you don’t know which tweet i’m specifically referring to? how many good guys do you know who have lived their entire life in urban areas spend that much of their free time killing animals for sport? (saying as a canadian who supports the hunting industry, spelt hunt is weak and pathetic). how many good guys do you know whose only hobby outside of hockey and hunting is watching people beat the shit out of each other?

“i’m new to the sport” ok? so your first deep dive was tumblr and not idk “anything else about hockey beyond the fictional world on AO3 and tumblr? if you’ve genuinely been able to avoid hearing about what terrible humans hockey players are while actually enjoying this sport as a fan…this is not a new issues in hockey. also consider: you are here for the players not the sport.

Imma let you go off anon, but got to address and ask some things...

To be honest I never considered or thought of hockey as a crazy violent sport, personally just because if you actually looked into sports world, there is definitely worst ones that makes hockey look quite civil.

With the whole hockey players and college thing, it depends what caliber of hockey guys you're talking about. Yes I understand the whole them being dumb. Though comparing general public non name hockey guys with no projection of going anywhere, to dude's who have been drafted, made it into the league or even the minors and didn't graduate college is a whole different story and argument.

I think some people can enjoy the sport and be a fan without being caught up on players drama, I say this because reality is a lot of people aren't caught up in tabloids or are exposed to certain depth of the internet lol. You probably get a solid handful of dudes where people know that there shit stinks and thats only because they fucked up well enough to actually gain media attention. Just because you and I are aware of things doesn't mean others are.

[princess-pathetic-112898]

Jellicle Headcanons for my Mental Health (It gets chaotic)

If the Jellicles were ever to watch movies, some common favorites would include Fantasia (1940), A Cat in Paris (2010), The Aristocats (1970), Coraline (2009), Suspiria (1977) and The Red Shoes (1948)

Tugger will sometimes try to get Munkustrap to get some rest & take a day off from being the Responsible Oldest Child™️. Munkus is always convinced it’s a trap and Tugger is trying to distract him from something he did sitcom style.

He’s not much more receptive to any of the other cats telling him to relax. He’s fairly certain that if he did ever leave them to their own devices, there’s like a 30% chance they’d all die.

He’ll begrudgingly take a 5 minute cat nap only after Jenny lectures him about his health for 30 minutes.

Tugger is extremely protective of Misto. He’s been known to hiss and swipe at any stranger of any species who approaches his magical, mystical, marvelous, clever, phenomenal tuxedo cat.

Misto will loudly fuss & act annoyed over this, but he actually thinks it’s pretty cute and at times unintentionally funny.

The kittens can be bribed into behaving with fish, catnip & cream (it’s basically promising McDonald’s if no one fights).

The first time Tugger took Mistoffelees on a date, he took him to the junkyard to pick scraps & yowl at the moon. Misto, being the dutiful nephew of Bustopher Jones and growing up in the Hall of Saint James, had only ever been exposed to the finest high-end dining and the most respectable of social gatherings up to this point, so there was immediate culture shock. Mistoffelees still insists it was the most romantic night of his life.

Mungojerrie & Rumpleteazer secretly give the kittens pickpocketing lessons. Munkustrap suspects but cannot prove anything, and it has contributed to his sleep deprivation.

Victoria and Jemima are BFF’s who are constantly having sleepovers where they do all the unapologetically girlish & kiddish things you can think of- but like, as kittens. Gossiping about the cats they have crushes on, sharing their deepest secrets, trying on each other’s collars, jewels & ribbons, playing catch with Jenny’s yarn balls (it’s better to beg for forgiveness than permission).

Skimbleshanks’ combined dad skills & tea expertise can only be rivaled by Uncle Iroh (he would definitely say that being sick of tea ~with a drop of scotch~ is like being sick of breathing).

Alonzo sometimes feels outshined by his magician brother & ballerina sister. He doesn’t blame them for being themselves, but he does wish the others would acknowledge him a little more as a protector. He looks up to Munkustrap & is determined to learn all the tricks of the trade from him.

Munkus is aware that Alonzo seeks his approval, and can relate, having lived with siblings who required more attention while he was the responsible one. Neither is quick to open up about personal matters, but they do confide in one another. The only other cat Alonzo has talked to about all his feelings is Cassandra.

Tugger takes those damn bagpipes everywhere & is looking for a chance to play them all the time. Bagpipes at family meetings. Bagpipes at brunch. Bagpipes on dates. Bagpipes at midnight. Bagpipes at 4 AM.

Munkus insists they put on his plays at every meeting. He has yet to have one go off without a hitch, in part because he, indeed, is a massive control freak in this particular area, and in part because he’s surrounded by damn kids who love to fuck with him. Every rehearsal is like that one episode of Community where the dean’s making a commercial & Abed’s making a documentary about the dean making his commercial. It’s going to be what kills poor Gus.

Everyone assumes Demeter & Bombalurina are gossip queens who have all the dirt on everyone.

They’re actually thinking of Jellylorum & Gus. Dem and Bomba are just doing makeovers.

Bustopher Jones does not get what Mistoffelees sees in Tugger. He raised his nephew to be a proper, fancy cat, where did this spiky punk come from?? He doesn’t know where he went wrong.

Jennyanydots has knitted multiple sweaters for every single one of them.

Skimbleshanks, of course, wears his sweaters whenever it’s sweater weather and loves these thoughtful gifts from his beautiful wife.

Tugger has ripped holes into his sweaters to make them look cooler.

Mistoffelees bedazzles all his sweaters & wears them in performances where Jenny will be in attendance.

Cass will spend hours looking for suitable accessories anytime she has to wear a sweater.

Coricopat & Tantomile love to wear their matching sweaters & basically be the Shining twins.

Mungo feels humiliated wearing his sweaters because who is he without his crop tops? Rumple always gets super fancy sweaters to go with her pearls.

Mungo & Rumple also got a “Get-Along” sweater.

Gus is practically swimming in his sweaters & appreciates them immensely.

Bomba is proud to announce she looks as sexy in her sweaters as she does in anything

Demeter & Munkus make the kittens wear their sweaters anytime they’re seeing Jenny no matter how hot it is or how itchy they are.

[69misato69]

wither ✦ kaeya x childe, 3.6k

archive of our own ✦ twitter ✦ masterlist

flower-picking gone horribly wrong

c: afab childe amab kaeya he/him prns for both, lots and lots of crying, unprotected sex, creampie, oral sex, vaginal fingering, sex pollen (verbal consent)

top kaeya 🦚 x bottom childe 🐳 — enjoy!

“Just tell me what you were doing so I can help, Tartaglia.” Albedo sighs. 

He’s getting tired of trying to draw out answers from Childe who’s shivering on the couch and still too reluctant to spit it out after almost half an hour. 

“I was… picking flowers for Kaeya, okay? Happy?” he eventually blurts out.

Kaeya gazes down on his lap with a chuckle, “Well, kind of.” 

Childe’s cheeks turn even redder than before, he’s awfully embarrassed to lay in front of Kaeya and Albedo while trying to suppress his undying arousal. It clouds up his mind, drives him insane. How can he carry out a conversation being the only person in the room that actually knows how he wets his own thighs inexplicably. 

“Then I reached for a Cecilia… I think. I don’t remember the rest. Something jumped out… maybe? I could be making it up. And when I woke up on the grass and the Cecilia was gone.” 

That is the full story, except Childe conveniently leaves out how he was soaking wet inside his pants until he dragged himself to the Winery and collapsed on the doorway.

Albedo hums, “Fever, shivers, fatigue, mouth feels dry, you said. Anything else?”

Nope, nothing else.

Except of course, he can’t even look across to the sofa Kaeya sits at without wanting to climb over him and rip him to pieces.

“It’s pollen season for many plants, especially around Starsnatch Cliff. So I feel obligated to ask if you feel aroused?” Albedo abruptly raises the question he fears. 

Childe gasps, “Excuse me?”

“Sexual arousal, usually heightened when one ingests a cluster of potent pollen.” 

“I’m a—human.”

“I am well aware. Hence, the ‘potent’ bit. If it is the influence of pollen, which is the case in my opinion since it has spread so quickly, it won’t leave you alone until you excrete it fully with bodily fluids. Mostly via urination, sweating and ejaculation.” 

Childe’s legs twitch.

“Now, you can concentrate your efforts or wait for your body to rid itself of it over time, which could possibly take around a week, maybe longer. I have never seen a pollinated human before.” Albedo chuckles at his own remark. 

Childe crosses his arms and stares at the ceiling, “You think you’re funny, don’t you?” 

Fuck it out or suffer, is essentially the conclusion he presents. 

“Oh, I wouldn’t dare. I wish you a speedy recovery, Tartaglia.”

Childe huffs as Kaeya sees him out and returns to the living room. 

He takes Childe in his arms and climbs the stairs to their bedroom, laying him down carefully. The ice-pack Childe holds close to his chest is already losing its effect with how warm his body is. 

Kaeya sits across from him with a caring and slightly concerned look. 

“It’s okay if you want to wait it out. I’ll look after you.” he pets Childe’s hair lovingly, “But if you want to… Uh… You know… That’s okay too.” 

‘If you want me to fuck you senselessly so that it passes, that’s also fine.’ 

Though, Kaeya is too polite and worried to phrase it as such. 

“Whatever you need.” he tilts his head slightly, compassionate towards his beloved and annoyed that his hands are tied against this strange ailment. 

Childe presses his legs together, “I—can’t take this for a week, Kaeya.”

He can’t even take it for a full day, it feels like he is about to combust, uttering a single word without whimpering is proving to be impossible when even the slight pressure of his own thighs over his clit drives him insane. 

Kaeya nods, he gets down to work swiftly and removes Childe’s clothes.

“Do you need another ice-pack?” he stands by the bed, towering over his shriveled up boyfriend. 

Childe is trembling on the mattress. Naked, vulnerable and exposed. He pulls Kaeya by his shirt to sit next to him. 

“No, no… I just need you.” he rubs his cheek over Kaeya’s clothes, “Please, Kaeya.” 

His attempts to climb over him prove futile as Kaeya presses him down by the chest.

“I’ll take care of it, okay? Try to relax.” 

Childe nods, he snuggles close to him, separating his legs as one laps over Kaeya's thighs. The air hits his groin like a cold breeze, eliciting a hiss from his lips. 

Kaeya holds him close, lips pressed against the top of his head to pepper soothing kisses while his hands roam the insides of his thighs. 

Damp and soft, lust tears him asunder. He can’t focus on anything else but the hand that strokes his cunt gently. Just the tips of Kaeya’s fingers brushing against him, but it’s enough to have Childe panting and heaving. 

Kaeya can’t help but moan at how wet he is, to the extent that it’s nearly impossible for him to create any friction. His fingers slide along Childe, up and down his glistening slit, but just as Kaeya prepares to slip one inside, Childe nuzzles into his chest with a muffled squeal. 

“Did you just—”

Childe stays put, he revels in sheer shame. It’s embarrassing, being so out of control like an animal in heat. He doesn’t even want to peel his face away and look up.

Yet, at the same time, there’s nowhere he would rather be than in Kaeya’s arms as he battles a sensation terrifying enough to take his breath away. 

Even when he’s so humiliatingly indulgent and depraved, Kaeya toying with him tenderly, trailing his nipples and scars, drawing circles over his tummy, overshadows his guilt and shame. 

Soft fingers that brush against his entrance and then come up to lap over his swollen clit. 

Childe disintegrates with every nerve ending he strikes. Soon he cums a second time, then maybe a third. It’s hard to tell where one ends and another begins. 

His hips spasm, grinding down at the bed involuntarily. 

Kaeya knows that he can’t last for however much this is going to take. He deems it more sensible to work him out a bit more before moving on. 

But Childe is a lot more stubborn than usual, tugging on Kaeya’s arm, attempting to reach and stroke the erection that presses up against him. 

“Come on, I’ve had enough.” he hisses. Vile and starved, burning up for more.

Kaeya is unfazed. He keeps it unattended, the sweetest spot that he wants to ram into for hours. His fingers slide in between Childe’s drenched folds, drawing out a squelch with every drag. 

There isn’t a single ounce of energy left in Childe’s body, yet he continues to run his hands over Kaeya and try to persuade him. Eventually, he musters up the courage to pull away slightly and look up.

“Why won’t you—hah—fuck me?” he asks in desperation and confusion. 

There’s nothing Kaeya wants more than to spread him over his cock, nevertheless it must wait. Kaeya certainly lacks the inhumane stamina to satisfy him without taking breaks with the way Childe looks at him, eyes veiled with a carnal desire to destroy and devour. 

“I will, baby. In a bit, okay?” 

Kaeya tries his best to soothe him but Childe only claws harder at his arm, until his expression turns innocent. He gazes up with kind, sparkling eyes. No longer crazed and hysterical as if he wasn't growling to be fucked merely a second ago. 

Suddenly, his face is the only thing that lacks filth. 

Half-lidded eyes that stare up at Kaeya, lips glazed with drool and rosy cheeks that match his body that’s caught up in flames of passion. 

“I… I’ll be so good for you—please…” he begs. 

The most obscene sight Kaeya has ever seen, indelicate and crude no matter how demure his expression is. He fights with all he’s got as Childe begs to be filled up, writhing and grabbing at whatever he can in utter frustration. Feisty and fussy unlike the Childe he knows. 

He reaches down to hold Kaeya’s hand, fed up with the lack of stimulation, and separates three of his fingers to push them in deep. 

Kaeya allows him to guide his hand as Childe looks up daringly. 

“I know you want it—too.” he struggles to keep his eyes open and maintain the resolve to continue, “You’re worried for… after you finish, right?” 

Kaeya can’t help but chuckle lightly as he pets his cheek, “Looks to me like it wouldn’t be enough.”

Childe keeps moving his hand in and out of himself with Kaeya matching the rhythm with an upward curl of his fingers every time they dig into his tight walls. 

“Well, you’ve got a mouth, don’t you?” 

An impertinent attempt as if Childe is exhausting all options one by one. If begging Kaeya won’t work, maybe riling him up will. He's willing to try anything, momentarily careless of how pathetic he must be coming off. 

His cheeky question is answered with Kaeya separating his fingers inside of him, extending them so opposite sides right around his sweet spot. Childe’s hand falls away from his as he squeaks.

Then, Kaeya closes the gap, only to spread them again. 

Childe crumbles with every scissoring motion of his fingers. He holds Kaeya’s face desperately, staring him in the eye. He doesn’t look away, doesn’t even blink as he coats Kaeya’s fingers with his hips spasming. 

“Take care of me.” he demands. 

Kaeya is sensible, especially when the situation calls for it. He performs well under pressure, but this — he’s not strong enough to resist this. 

He’s weak against Childe’s pretty noises and his soaking wet pussy. Therefore, he abides, practically tearing away his own clothes to settle on top. 

Childe reaches down, stroking his painfully hard cock zealously before guiding it inside. 

Kaeya’s impatience grows simply by looking at his unchaste expression. He holds Childe by the knees and folds him in half, drilling him viciously. 

Childe has no choice but to cover his mouth, abashed at the sounds he uncontrollably lets out, but Kaeya frees one of his knees and places his hands around his neck instead. 

Childe cries out, squirming under him with shaky legs, unable to help himself as his walls clench around Kaeya.  

But as much as he’s enjoying the view, Kaeya feels himself drawing dangerously near as well. So much pressure around his already aching cock and exquisite warmth surrounding it. 

He slips out and sits at the edge of the bed to pull Childe onto his lap. 

His body is limp and weary, leaning on Kaeya’s chest as he sinks down on him.

Kaeya holds him by the hips and guides them in circles, reaching into every neglected spot inside to fill him up to the brim. 

Childe moans into his mouth as the thrusts deepen, his hands roam Kaeya’s body aimlessly, attempting to reel him in even though they are chest to chest, as close as humanly possible with the way Kaeya buries himself in his walls. 

Childe wants to absorb him into his skin. No matter how good it feels, it never seems to be enough. Before he can fully enjoy one orgasm, he feels another creep up from between his legs. He feels dizzy with the amount of cum flushing out of him, spilling all over Kaeya. It feels impossible but Childe feels it shoot out continuously right where he wracks against. 

A few final thrusts as Kaeya tries to delay it as much as he can, he pushes Childe all the way down and stuffs him generously. 

Childe chokes, warmth overtakes his insides, a blissful yet short few moments pass until his neediness grows again. He slides off with a sharp hiss.

“Again—Kaeya. Please… I need—” Childe palms over his spent cock desperately, but it’s no use. Kaeya dwindles under his hold.

He needs more. 

Kaeya’s seed leaks out of him, mixed with his own. Even warmer than before, it paints Kaeya’s thigh white. Childe has no choice but to sit and wait, which is probably for the best since his legs are shaking uncontrollably. 

Though, Childe can’t help but hiss as he settles over his right leg. 

His folds spread over Kaeya’s toned thigh as pressure builds over his clit. He lifts his lips ever so slightly before sinking back down. His mouth is parted, gaze directed down in between their bodies. 

Kaeya watches silently how Childe slides back and forth on his thigh, soft sighs leave his lips with each round. 

He looks up at Kaeya as if he’s struck gold. It’s gentle and subtle, yet enough to send a shockwave to every single nerve ending. Though, an apologetic look takes over his face as soon as he realizes what he’s doing. Deviant and perverse, it's far from how he wants to be perceived by Kaeya. 

Fortunately, he doesn't. Kaeya cups his cheek reassuringly. “Go ahead, my love.” he coos, hoping to rid him of guilt. Hoping that Childe knows that there isn’t anything to be ashamed of, that he has no issues attending to him.

Anything for his beloved Ajax. 

“Think you can cum like that?” he asks softly. 

Childe nods, he looks too stunned to speak, in trance almost. Pleasure overwhelms him, Kaeya’s gentle tone and his hands that hold him in place, it’s bad for Childe’s heart and even worse for his drained yet greedy cunt. 

“Show me.” Kaeya whispers against his lips. 

Childe begins to move faster, sliding along his leg with whimpers.

“Kaeya…” his voice cracks. Depraved and exhausted. 

Kaeya presses a kiss on his lips, “I’m right here.” 

“Kaeya…”

“I know, baby, I’ve got you.” Kaeya subdues his worries, “You’re doing so well.” 

Childe chokes on air as he holds onto him for dear life, the only thing powerful enough to anchor him. 

Warmth and safety, loving touches and soft locks tangled in between Childe’s fingers. 

“I’ll fuck you again.” Kaeya drags his tongue along his neck.

“And again.” 

Lewd moans ring in his ears — “Until it’s enough. Don’t you worry.” 

Kaeya, still not having figured out the nuances of Childe's headspace, refrains from telling him how pathetic he looks. How hauntingly desperate he sounds while humping his leg.

So needy and sensitive that he's cumming over and over just from Kaeya's thigh. 

A mess, his mess. 

A mess that he loves putting back together only to scatter him over the sheets again. 

Kaeya's heart skips a beat with every plea, every twitch of Childe's delicate hips as he releases yet another time, he wants Childe sobbing on his cock until the morning. Until he's too drained to function so he just lays next to Kaeya and waits politely to be cleaned off and cuddled to sleep. 

Kaeya can no longer see this as a remedy to cure Childe's affliction, not when Childe leaks uncontrollably all over him. Generous yet needy, willing to give it his all so long as it’s reciprocated. 

Kaeya lifts his hips upon realizing that he's hard again. Childe's chest heaves with excitement, his eyes are ablaze with pure hunger, as if he'll die if he has to spend another second without Kaeya driving into his cervix.

Fortunately he doesn't have to wait any longer as the tip of his cock slides through with ease. 

Slippery and soft, his gummy walls reel him in as Kaeya pushes him down by the hips. 

“Perfect… Such a good boy.” Kaeya praises, working diligently to keep Childe alert as his eyes begin to close.

“Stay with me. Okay, Ajax?” he holds Childe’s chin in a firm grasp as he snaps out of the haze.

“Let me see that pretty face.” Kaeya smiles at him. 

There isn’t a single thought in his head, mind completely hollowed out. 

“Can you—lay me down?” he mumbles, guilt and exhaustion washes over him once again as Kaeya gently lays his head on the pillow. 

His movements are now more restrained, fighting the urge to wreck him ruthlessly. Childe appears more fragile as a portion of the high wears off and he can’t help but blame himself.

“Fuck—I’m sorry, Kaeya. It was so—hngh—reckless of me.”

“I don’t need an apology.” Kaeya leaves a gentle peck on his lips, “Not when you look so precious shaking under me.” he coos, and it’s enough to get Childe’s eyes to darken again. He sways between guilt and pleasure. His lips either carve a frown, or part to moan Kaeya’s name. 

“I’m doing my best not to hurt you, but know that it’s taking all I’ve got.” Kaeya speaks into his ear, digging his nails into Childe’s hips with the strain of holding back his own.

“I can—handle it.” 

Childe doesn’t know if he can, but he is in no position to mind it. 

Even if it means passing out in the middle of it, he needs Kaeya to pound him into the mattress, to handle him as he sees fit. 

And Kaeya happily obliges. He turns Childe on his stomach with one smooth maneuver and quickly slides back inside him. Childe is already screaming at the new angle, his walls tighten around Kaeya deliciously, sucking him in like he wants to be ripped apart. 

Kaeya leans forward with a grunt and binds his wrists together on his back with one hand. With nothing to provide proper balance, Childe sinks down on the bed, only his hips are held afloat by Kaeya’s grip. 

His face digs into the pillow and Kaeya slams into him mercilessly. 

Minutes pass yet his high never ceases. He has no control over even a single muscle as they all contract for Kaeya. 

He releases relentlessly, intense enough to have him crying over the fabric and soaking in his own tears. A sensation that leaves him breathless and ruined. 

Kaeya leans over him as his weight further crushes Childe. His teeth sink into the sensitive skin of his back, bite marks now scattered all over Childe’s waist and hips. 

Marks of the one he belongs to.

Childe knows that it’ll send a tingle down his spine when he stares at them in the mirror the following morning. 

Kaeya pulls away, but the aftershock is enough to keep him going for a few more, short-lived orgasms. 

He lands on his back, the pattern of the cloth has permeated his puffy cheeks while Kaeya gazes down on him hungrily. 

He settles between Childe’s thighs, not wasting another second before dragging his tongue along his puffy slit. 

“Kaeya!” Childe gasps and jolts up. He bursts into tears of pleasure as soft lips engulf his clit, sucking on it gently and moving in circles. Kaeya looks up and meets his gaze. His eyes stay locked on Childe’s tearful and reddened ones as he moves down and slips his tongue inside. 

Childe looks beautiful, crying and screaming for it. Kaeya has never seen him so unhinged. His face glows bright, wet with tears. 

Albedo hasn't explicitly suggested crying, but with the way he sobs Kaeya definitely thinks it's helping to some extent. 

Incoherent words and wails leave Childe’s mouth. If only he had the energy to flip Kaeya on his back, sit on his face and ride him until the morning — until Kaeya’s belly was full of his cum, until he was out of breath with a foggy mind just like his own. 

He reaches down to grab him by the hair and guides his lips and tongue. 

Liquid seeping into Kaeya's mouth as it does now, it is unprecedented. Except for rare instances in which Childe could squirt, but that was very seldom, not in an overflowing, mind-bending amount such as this. 

This is more like — Kaeya sucking his cock, choking and gagging as Childe rocks him by his hair rhythmically. Releasing loads of cum down his throat and painting his pretty mouth white. 

It's perfect. 

"Keep going." he melts into the sheets. 

Kaeya can tell exactly what he’s thinking, because he feels it too.

It doesn’t feel so much as eating him out anymore, he's — blowing Childe, somehow. Lips stretched over him while drinking up all that Childe graces him with. 

Warmth travels down his throat, Kaeya can hardly breathe, but it doesn't matter.

What matters is the taste on his tongue and the soft thighs pressing up against his face. 

He wants to sink his teeth into his legs, latch onto all there is and abuse it with his tongue and lips, he wants to swallow Childe whole. He needs all of him. 

However, there's no time for any of that as long as Childe aches for him, as long as his quivering hole yearns to be touched, licked and fucked by Kaeya until he’s ridden of the fire that burns between his legs. 

There is no room for stalling or detours. Like feeding an insatiable monster, Kaeya tends to him lustfully, sucking him dry until the intervals between his orgasms begin to lengthen. 

“Last one… I think.” Childe breathes out eventually, after a few hours that have felt like forever. The mist eclipsing his mind slowly clears up, yet drowsiness remains from all that his body went through. 

Kaeya pulls away and hovers over his spent boyfriend. 

“Better make it count then, hm?” he smiles. And Childe smiles back, like an absolute idiot. Euphoric and blissful, he clings onto Kaeya’s shoulders and spreads his legs, allowing him to enter for hopefully the last time, at least for now.

As the effect of the pollen fades, a stinging sensation penetrates his abused hole. He hisses in between kisses while Kaeya slows down. He thrusts in gently and slips a hand in between their bodies to stroke Childe’s clit. 

A spark lights up in the pit of his stomach, building up gradually until he squeezes Kaeya once more.

With that, Kaeya has no choice but to let himself go as well, releasing inside him with a growl that vibrates along Childe’s rib cage.  

hope you enjoyed! take care (: