#without tagging them so i had no choice but to see them bc i couldn't just block the tag
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there's this certain mutual i've been SO annoyed with for so long but have put off unfollowing/blocking because i felt bad, but i finally gave in and unfollowed them and i feel so much better already lmao!! i don't have to see their annoying posts or weird kinks on my dash everyday anymore đ„ł
#to clarify if you're reading this then it's not you bc i blocked them#i love all my mutuals and generally am not annoyed at them it was just this ONE person#and to clarify further i have nothing against weird kinks i think they're cool but this person would post constantly abt them#without tagging them so i had no choice but to see them bc i couldn't just block the tag#and they were obviously like. very pleased with themself about how 'edgy' and 'weird' they were being because of it#and whenever they had an annoying take i would chalk it up to them being only 19 but like. there's only so far that can take you#anyway. so glad they're gone lol#đ§
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HI! Hope you are well! I have no clue if you are taking requests or not, but if you are, could you maybe do a smau with carlos sainz x ferrari!reader? Where the reader is part of the ferrari family, and when her father passes away, she will take on the company? And like, all of the tifosi love her loads, bcs she's just lovely to them all no matter what, and they see carlos slowly 'fall in love' with her then soft launch their relationship, and it turns out they had been dating for ages? If you can, ty!!
are you going to be my girl? | carlos sainz social media au
pairing: carlos sainz x fem ferrari!reader
it's not a HR violation if you were dating before she became your boss and it's not nepotism if it's her company.
yournameferrari
liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc and 872,309 others
yournameferrari: first race weekend, let's go girls đ
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user1: i am SCARED i am weirdly optimistic đ€
user2: i have faith, the article about her and the whole new team... she's cooking
carlossainz55: excited to take her out for a spin
yournameferrari: lets keep all the spinning for the doughnuts at the end of the season please
carlossainz55: i'll try my best, no promises though
yournameferrari: okay stop commenting on my post and get ready to drive, you're wearing my name
carlossainz55: let me know when you want to wear mine
user3: yall it's not even been one race and carlos is flirting with his boss, they weren't lying f1 drivers really are fearless
sebastianvettel: feels like just the other day when you first visted the garage, you'll smash it!
yournameferrari: thanks seb! can't wait to see you again, give hanna and the kids my love
user4: i love that she's 23 but literally talks like a grandma
user5: the stress of ferrari does tend to age a person
charles_leclerc: forza ferrari â€ïž we'll make you proud
yournameferrari: i have all the faith in the world in you boys
user6: a ferarri owner who actually publicly supports the drivers? i've prayed for times like this
user7: ahhh i met her this weekend and she really loves the tifosi like she spent so long with us and signed as much as she could
carlossainz55
liked by yournameferrari, landonorris and 893,209 others
carlossainz55: great weekend all round, happy to be back on the podium - thank you to y/n and all the team for building us a car we can win in !!
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user9: don't shoot me but did we all see the way carlos was looking at y/n on the podium
user10: bestie i hate to tell you but there was like 100 ferrari workers at that podium he could've been looking at literally any of them
yournameferrari: you boys made the ferrari name proud this weekend â€ïž
carlossainz55: couldn't have done it without you and the team
yournameferrari: you're too kind, take pride in your own achievements
carlossainz55: only if you celebrate with me
user11: are we witnessing the smooth operator in real time?
user12: it's like seeing a unicorn in the woods
landonorris: congrats chilli đ¶ïž are we all celebrating or is it just you two?
carlossainz55: all of us? why wouldn't it be everyone?
landonorris: no reason ....
user13: maybe it's because carlos' eyes pop out of his head like a looney tunes whenever he's around y/n ferrari
liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc
carlossainz55: you realise i get the notifications when you guys like comments, right?
landonorris: well my PR team wouldn't like it if i commented it myself
carlossainz55: i wonder if there is a reason for that đ€
user14: carlando domestics in the comment section we are so back
scuderiaferrari
liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc and 803,451 others
tagged: yournameferrari
scuderiaferrari: no race this weekend? we'll give you a #ïžâŁ asky/n to give you your ferrari content this weekend!
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user15: what is your favourite race?
yournameferrari: besides the obvious choices of imola and monza, i really enjoy suzuka and spa !
user16: who is a driver you would've loved to have managed?
yournameferrari: the obvious answer is michael schumacher, but i also would've loved to work with seb and kimi and jean alesi!
user17: how do you feel about taking over ferrari so young?
yournameferrari: it's definitely daunting, especially when no one really knew i existed. i was scared when it came to the staff overhaul as they had been there for so long and i was scared that it would massively backfire, but so far so good.
user18: tbf it's been a long time coming
user19: what would you do if you weren't owning ferrari?
yournameferrari: to be honest, ferrari and motorsport is all i have ever known, but, i also enjoy most other sports like football, ice skating and golf. but outside of sport i would've loved to pursue writing, i love poetry and essays!
user20: GOLF? cue carlos sainz in 3...2...1
carlossainz55: let's go for a round after my next sim session âłïž
yournameferrari: only if you're ready to lose
user21: i am having ... feelings about this pairing
user22: how do you feel about charles' music?
yournameferrari: i always think it is good to have another passion, especially with how all-consuming formula one can become. i personally love charles' music and will often put it on when i do yoga or read (though my favourite is AUS23)
charles_leclerc: thank you y/n !!!
user23: is this *rubs eyes* an owner with a good relationship with the drivers???
f1gossipgirl
liked by user28, user29 and 4,130 others
tagged: yournameferrari, pierregasly
f1gossipgirl: AWKWARD MOMENT ALERT đš y/n ferrari had harsh word for pierre gasly when they crossed paths in the paddock. gasly, whose dangerous driving put carlos sainz in the medical centre, seemed shocked that ferrari would have a problem with him. sources in the paddock said that ferrari admonished the frenchman, "you have a lot of gall in the media gasly, everyone saw how dangerous that was, you can't blame your own shortcomings on alpha tauri or adrian newey now. keep your car away from my drivers or we'll have a real problem." oop. allegedly gasly only replied with a wink and a "anything for you sweetheart" which caused y/n to storm off and knock his shoulder on the way past. who is in the right?
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user30: THAT'S MY OWNER RIGHT THERE
user31: y/n owned gasly
user32: not only was he dangerous on track he's also super disrespectful off, y/n is expressing her concerns over her driver who could've been seriously injured and he just flirts with her ???
user33: pierre is super in the wrong here but also it's so refreshing to see someone in management actually have the drivers back
user34: gone were the days of begging ferrari to even appeal penalties
user35: my friend was in the paddock and apparently vasseur had to hold sainz back after he was told about what pierre had done
user36: the way he's more mad that pierre disrespected y/n than nearly killing him
user37: idk why she's getting involved, no need to talk to the drivers like that, you're the owner, know your place
liked by pierregasly
user38: something insidious about the man liking a comment telling a woman to know her place đ€š
user39: he acts the victim in every situation and yet HE is the common denominator
user40: after ^^^ this whole mess i need carlos to scrap pierre
user41: i feel like he actually would that man is in love with y/n lol
yournameferrari
liked by carlossainz55, scuderiaferrari and 903,451 others
yournameferrari: happy summer break everyone !! going into the break leading the constructor's championship lead is amazing but we aim to finish the season with both trophies back in maranello. see you in zandvoort x
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user42: A MAN?
user43: i was delusional to think that a young successful and smart woman wasn't cuffed :(
sebastianvettel: are you still planning to swing by switzerland?
yournameferrari: we'll be there!
this comment was deleted
yournameferrari: i'll be there!
user44: girl we saw that
user45: the way she posts her soft launch but deletes a comment that says she might bring him to visit seb?
user46: visiting seb is a big deal tbf
user47: the way carlos HAS to have her notifications on mans was here after 30 seconds
user48: has better reaction time for y/n's instagram post than a race start đ
carlossainz55: working on my swing, ready for our round of golf
yournameferrari: get ready to be humbled
carlossainz55: if you're as pro as you say i may have to upgrade us to crazy golf
yournameferrari: as long as i get the red ball
carlossainz55: deal
user49: are we FLIRTING đ ???????
carlossainz55
liked by landonorris, yournameferrari and 703,458 others
tagged: yournameferrari
carlossainz55: took a break from swimming to get my ass whooped by my boss on the golf course
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user50: oh the fit - Y/N CAME TO PLAY
landonorris: just how bad was the whopping? before i propose a paddock golf tournament
carlossainz55: she'll ruin the sport for you it's not fair
landonorris: you didn't put up any sort of fight?
carlossainz55: i TRIED but as soon as i saw the custom clubs i knew it was over
yournameferrari: i have a confession, i was literally on my college golf team, i had a lot of practice sorry x
carlossainz55: so you're basically a professional? that's comforting
yournameferrari: not really a professional but a very dedicated amateur
user51: babe you literally won the national championship at stanford stop playing with this man
yournameferrari: oops? đŹ
user52: right, i don't mean to sound crazy, but i have a theory. the third pic looks very familiar to me, is it a lake in switzerland? the switzerland one SEBASTIAN VETTEL lives in and that y/n ferrari said she was going to visit this summer with someone?
user53: i fear you've made a point
user54: as much as they'd be literally the hottest couple in the world ... is it not a bit weird for carlos to date his boss? like... also what does this mean for potential favouritism?
user55: i get those concerns but we've already seen this season that decisions have been made both ways. unlike the binotto era ferrari actually are making the two first drivers thing work
user56: based on what y/n has said in the past i don't think she'd favour carlos because of a relationship, i think she's too ruthless to potentially sacrifice points to benefit her potential boyfriend
f1
liked by landonorris, carlossainz55 and 1,239,861 others
tagged: carlossainz55
f1: the smooth operator is back to winning ways with his win under the singapore lights. it was a double podium for ferrari and a DNF for sergio perez means that ferrari are constructors champions once again!
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user60: Y/N FERRARI THE WOMAN YOU ARE AND HOLY SHIT HER AND CARLOS KISSING DID SOMETHING TO ME
user61: we really went from xavi and not having any tyres to proper professionals and the WCC trust the WDC will be coming back home soon
carlossainz55: tifosi, we'll get the big one next year â€ïž
user62: CONSTRUCTOR CHAMPIONS AND YOU BAGGED Y/N FERRARI U WON AT LIFE
landonorris: so you made me find out with everyone else? i see how it is
carlossainz55: sorry landito, didn't intend for anyone to find out just yet but i guess i got a little carried away..
yournameferrari: a little?
carlossainz55: sorry but i've been good all year and finally got the win and the championship i couldn't help myself (you also looked so good sorry)
yournameferrari: i guess i can give you that (you're also very sexy post-race)
charles_leclerc: well i for one am super happy that i never opened the door when i heard a suspicious sound coming from y/n's office
yournameferrari: omg delete please i stubbed my toe i swear !!!!
charles_leclerc: no one is believing that i'm sorry
carlossainz55: we've never done anything untoward on ferrari property
landonorris: untoward? who are you?
carlossainz55: my gf is super duper college educated and it's rubbing off on me
landonorris: AHAHAHA RUBBING OFF
yournameferrari: đ€š
landonorris: sorry.
carlossainz55
liked by landonorris, yournameferrari and 1,034,510 others
tagged: yournameferrari
carlossainz55: suprise ! i guess it wasn't to be just ours forever, but i love you y/n and will give everything to you and your name x
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user62: boyfriend in the first slide and girlfriend in the others he's so real
yournameferrari: i know this secret was hard for you to keep so i'm proud of you regardless, i love you đ«¶
carlossainz55: honestly any time anyone in the paddock flirted with you i thought i would explode
yournameferrari: i've seen your dm requests, spare me
carlossainz55: but now they know, i can unleash all of my pictures of you and i can flex on everyone
user63: dream threesome list just got a new update
landonorris: first slide for me i know that's right
carlossainz55: i am forgiven for not telling you about my relationship? the two years were tough
landonorris: TWO YEARS?
carlossainz55: your tone sounds kinda off
landonorris: you can shove your first slide up your ass đ TWO YEARS?????
carlossainz55: tbf i couldn't really announce to the world that i was dating the woman who would someday become the owner of my team
landonorris: give me three business days and i'll be okay
scuderiaferrari: parents â€ïž
charles_leclerc: happy for you guys but never ask me to take pictures of you again x
yournameferrari: you did such a good job though!
charles_leclerc: unless i see a photographer bonus in my contract i will not be third wheeling for free
yournameferrari: noted (you're not getting the bonus)
charles_leclerc: it was worth the try
yournameferrari
liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55 and 1,035,556 others
tagged: carlossainz55
yournameferrari: what a crazy first season. i am unbelievably proud of the boys and the team, we'll bring both championships back to maranello next season â€ïž
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user64: she is everything i want to be
user65: tbf after last season i never thought we would win a race this season and her overhaul and ruthlessness has actually changed the game. also her and carlos are super cute
carlossainz55: i love you and thank you for our season. here's to the best winter break with you
yournameferrari: finally you can spend christmas the ferrari way
user66: how do we also get an invite to this christmas.. do you have any brothers? cousins? uncles?
carlossainz55: you're so so so beautiful, pretty, bewitching, ravishing, stunning and irresistible
yournameferrari: i love you too handsome
carlossainz55: can you also humble my dad at golf please and thank you
yournameferrari: we'll go doubles for the sainz golf tournament and have NO MERCY
user67: someone tell y/n the season is over and that she doesn't need to ruin sainz snr's christmas on the golf course
yournameferrari: the ferrari name never rests sorry not sorry
user68: yeah yeah the constructor championship finally came back to ferrari but this relationship is the real win from this season
user69: carlos finally found someone as old money as him
user70: and is actually old money, babes has that ferrari money
carlossainz55: i can retire early and be the house husband
yournameferrari: you will not retire early i expect you to be kicking it in that car until you're at least alonso's age
carlossainz55: but after that i can be the house husband a HAB?
yournameferrari: to your hearts content :) no one prettier i'd want on my arm x
note: hope you enjoyed i was BATTLING the writers block on this one lol. but i hope this is what you were looking for
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1 x you#f1#carlos sainz x you#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz f1#carlos sainz imagine#carlos sainz instagram edit
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Yandere!Aegon I x M!Reader + NSFW HCs
â pairings ; Yandere!Aegon I x Male!Reader
â a/n ; There's barely any M!Reader fics in ASOIAF Tags so I wanted to make my own ! (And bc I was curious đ€)
â warnings ; NSFW ; 18+ TWT Links ; Coercion ; Dark Elements ; Yandere Behavior; Hinted Homophobia ; Affair ;
You're a Lannister boy, The youngest of your four brothers and considered the weakest because of your stature, frame, and meek personality. Your father âLoren I Lannisterâ has always looked down upon you, He shunned and spurned you relentlessly even claiming that you weren't a Lion but a insolent rat. You're brothers were worst, Like your father they maligned you any chance they got hindering your self esteem to a crippled sheet of parchment. Though despite their belittlement, You were determined to prove yourself.
You caught Aegon's Attention when you attended a Tourney, Adorned in Red & Gold Armor representing your house colors. You were up against Ser Dayken Tyrell, A formidable knight but viscous as well. You fell from your horse more times than you could count surely making a mockery of house Lannister. Tyrell came charging at you atop his white stallion until his grace, King Aegon abruptly halted the knight ceasing the tournament.
Aegon took an interest in you and started to unintentionally eye you in the courtyards, Though very discreetly. His stare would linger as you bowed and sulked past him. He began wondering why you always held that glassy look in your eyes.
After watching you for long enough he decides to make you his cupbearer, Deeming you unfit for tourneys. Truly he just wanted to get closer to you. To know you.
During this time the both of you became close with one another, You vented to him about your problems and he'd listen. With his permission of course, It was almost impossible to get this information out of you.
A year passes and Aegon feels something stir within him, The Dark desires he tried to keep down boiling to the surface.
His behavior started to...shift within the last couple of months. He grew overwhelmingly possessive of you, You could barely pour another lords wine without his violet eyes burning holes into your form. You couldn't even go out and speak with your friends without him requesting your presence. Seriously you couldn't even eat by yourself !! And the worst part is you couldn't question him about it either...
It was only a matter of time before His sister-wives started to grow suspicious. I mean who could blame them, He spent more time with you than he did with rhaenys which said something.
Anytime they'd bring this to light to him, Aegon would just chuckle and reassure them that you were a mere servantâ a cupbearer at that, And he would never have any relations with you.
Oh boy was he wrong. He'd sabotage and oppose any & all of your marriage proposals. Even going as far as having one of your bride-to-be's killed in her sleep. But for some reason, Even after all the marriage annulments they'd always end up missing.
This put a far greater stain on your reputation, on your house. There was rumors that you were cursed and you started to believe them yourself. But Aegon with that stupidly handsome smile on his face placed your sobbing form in his lap and cooed into your ear with sweet nothings. You couldn't see the twisted grin on his face.
Aegon would pull you from his chest to stare into your (E/C) eyes as he'd persuade you into Bed with him. You stared at the man in shock, mouth agape with no words spewing. You tried to reject him but he'd subtly threatened the Livelihood of your brothers and father, Cornering you. You had no other choice...
â đđđ
đ 18+
âȘ The Faith already had issues with the Targaryens Incestuous polyamory but lying with another manïżœïżœA Lannister at that, If they were to find out chaos would erupt. Good thing they weren't ever going to. You two had your affairs in secret, You would sneak into his chambers at a certain time and not the other way around.
âȘ He's never laid with another man before, But he's willing to try for you. Though Same sex relations weren't entirely scorned upon in his childhood, They weren't praised either. Aegon figured it worked just how a Man & Woman had sex, Let's just say he's a fast learner.
âȘ His pace is rough and quick almost unforgiving, He likes to use you as a stress reliever especially when he's aroused. He's quite big, Cut and pink 9'8 but his girth certainly makes up for it.
âȘ Aegon can be just as possessive in sex as he is when you're speaking with your brothers. After all the hell they put you through, He dislikes having you around them so more often then not he has you face down ass up on the table with hips slapping against yours. â
âȘ He loves taking you on your back with your legs over his shoulders and you underneath him. It gives him a sense of dominance and control over you as if he doesn't have already. But it's also intimate and passionate, He can gaze into your eyes and witness your face contorting into different motions of pleasure. â
âȘ When he's feeling gentle, Best believe he will absolutely WORSHIP YOU. I'm talking Shoulder kisses, Feet Massages Etc.
âȘ Even though you two were quiet in your affairs, By this point Both Rhaenys & Visenya had put two and two together and already discovered your affair. Rhaenys encouraged him and Visenya could care less.
Art By @chillyravenart
#yandere aegon the conqueror#male reader#male yandere#male reader smut#x bottom male reader#sub male reader#uke male reader#aegon the conqueror
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Gloves & Dittany ⣠cyj
⣠pairing: slytherin!yeonjun x gryffindor!reader
⣠genre: fluff, hogwarts!au, idiots-to-lovers (on readerâs part), sorta slice-of-life
⣠wc: 13.7k
⣠summary: âSure, your heart might have skipped a beat or two because of Yeonjun, but it was just a momentary flutter, a reaction that didn't hold any significant meaning⊠Right?â
âł Alternatively, where Yeonjunâs flirtatious nature leaves you no choice but to doubt his evident feelings for you and, in turn, dismiss any emotions you may be developing for him
âŁwarnings?: reader is just,,, confused all the time, prob poor attempts of 'flirting' bc idk how to flirt, side characters may potentially be more entertaining than the mains, reader tends to make playful threats to their friends
⣠an: big thanks to @hoonieji (<3) for reading over more than half of this to build my confidence! anyways the amount of revising this went through is horrifying but I hope it was all worth it! it's so bittersweet that I finished this bc I enjoyed writing it :( I'm going to miss this pair a lot,,, anyways, hope you all enjoy!
âŁtags: @flowerjun @forever-in-the-sky2 @yxnjvnnie @cookiehaos @ioveastera @yeonyeonyeonjun @fireheaurt @agustdiv1ne â couldn't tag @shwizhies
I. HEARTS IN HERBOLOGY
Over the years you've spent at Hogwarts, your love for Herbology has blossomed into a deep passion. Contrary to what your peers say about the class being boring and useless, you believe they couldn't be more wrong. Herbology is an underrated and misunderstood subject that offers unique elements not found in other classes.
At first glance, certain plants looked welcoming, but from what youâve learned, the most attractive herbs can be the most deadliest. This could even work the other way around. Growth patterns of the plants can directly affect its magical properties, which explains why the professors created emphasis on the care for plants.Â
Although Herbology looked like any other ordinary subject at Hogwarts, there were a lot more layers to its content. You suppose this was the reason why you grew to love the subject.
âWhatâs the difference between you and those flowers over there?â
Enter Choi Yeonjun. The main reason why advanced Herbology isn't the perfect class for you, and you mean that in the kindest way possible. Yeonjun is something else. While you hope to simply enjoy the class, he sees it as an opportunity to engage in endless conversation. You once joked with him that his voice could win a competition against a mandrake for being the most ear-piercing, but, surprisingly, he took no offense to this.Â
To make matters worse, a significant portion of his chatter is dedicated to shamelessly flirting with you. Despite months of this routine, he always finds new ways to keep things interesting, and you have to admit, it's quite impressive.
It was strange how all this had even started. You and Yeonjun were only familiar with each other because he was childhood friends with your fellow house member, Changbin. But after an encounter with the pair at Hogsmeade, Yeonjun started becoming quite adamant about making his presence known to you. And regardless of his motives and advances, youâve, since then, been choosing not to indulge in his actions.
If you were given a knut every time someone asked you why you never gave him a chance, youâd be rich. Hell, youâd be bathing in galleons if you did, because this was Choi Yeonjun we were talking about. The one and only Choi Yeonjun who could practically steal hearts without the use of some silly charm pulled straight out of a textbook. He was reasonably one of the most attractive guys in the entirety of Hogwarts and his personality was one to adore, so you werenât surprised with the persistent interrogation of those interested in him.
Though every question was worded differently, each one becoming more and more creative than the last, you hit them with the same, lazy explanation that you knew never left them satisfied.
âI just donât see him in that way.âÂ
Yeonjun stands by your side, hands comfortably nestled in gloves, which completely disregards Professor Longbottom's instructions that the gloves were not necessary for today's class. He looked ridiculous being the only one wearing the heavy-duty gloves. You hold back a laugh as your gaze follows his pointing finger, which leads you to a cluster of asphodels.
You look up at him, âOne is an accessory to a deadly sleeping potion.â Youâre cleaning up your area, making sure dirt is only where it was supposed to be.Â
âY/N, câmon~â Yeonjun whines, âJust play along.â
âOkay,â you huff, âWhat is it?âÂ
Yeonjun stands quietly for a short moment, lips pressed together, âNow you made me forget what I was going to say, but it was something about you being pretty.â Yeonjun turns to put some pots away, leaving you unamused.
Although Yeonjun continues to make such advances, you admit that his playful personality was endearing. Just a few months ago, you regarded Yeonjun as nothing more than an annoyance, constantly looming around even when unwelcome, sort of like a wedgie. However, as time passed, you couldn't deny the odd bond that had formed between the two of you.Â
Just recently, you had reluctantly admitted to yourself that heâs grown on you to the point where you realize that the day would feel incomplete without his babbling. On a good day, you might even consider him your friend.
When Yeonjun returns, he flashes you a smile, âDo you have any plans for the weekend? Maybe I can take you to Hogsmeade.â He bends down slightly and reaches out, âYou have a bit of dirt on your nose.â You feel his finger graze your nose for a quick second before itâs back at his side.Â
âIâm afraid I already do,â you hummed. Since the period has ended, you grab your belongings and take your leave. With no surprise, Yeonjun is trailing closely behind you.Â
Yeonjunâs lips were moulded into some sort of pout, brows furrowed, âMaybe the week after?âÂ
âI have plans that week, too,â you say promptly, though you werenât even entirely sure if you did, âSorry, Yeonjun.âÂ
Yeonjun narrows his eyes at you but you donât catch him doing so. Instead, youâre dead set on finding your best friend Yena by the courtyard. Before Yeonjun could let out a sigh, he takes a big step forward and spins so that heâs facing you. Yeonjun executes this with ease. Heâs quick on his feet and the next thing you know youâre walking into his chest.Â
âDonât apologize.â Yeonjun grabs your wrist and swiftly pulls you to the edge of the hallway so you both aren't blocking the stream of students, âThereâs always another weekâŠâ He pushes his lips towards one side of his face, eyes looking to the side. He was deep in thought, âMaybe you can come to the final game of the season? I know your house isnât playing but it would be nice to have the support⊠Iâll even let you wear one of my extra uniforms⊠maybe some facepaint?â Yeonjunâs eyes light up at the thought.Â
âYeonjun,â you say sternly.Â
âAs a friend?â Yeonjunâs head is tilted to the side, brows knitting as he brings his lips into a pout, âPlease?â His eyes pour into yours, making it hard for you to avoid his gaze. Heâs waiting intently on a reply.Â
âIâll⊠think about it,â You stall.Â
Yeonjun smiles, satisfied with your answer. Before he speaks up once again, he hears his name being called from across the hall. It was Wooyoung.Â
âIâll see you later, beautiful~âÂ
You groan and call out before youâre out of earâs reach, âWhat did I tell you about pet names, Choi Yeonjun!âÂ
Yeonjun turns to acknowledge you, but instead of saying anything to excuse himself, he sends you a wink before reaching his friend.Â
As expected.
You huff, shaking your head before you finally turn to the courtyard, where you immediately see Yena kicking dirt underneath one of the smaller trees. She pulls up her robe slightly, engrossed in watching the dirt particles defy gravity and form swirling clouds.
You say nothing as you approach her, laughing underneath your breath.Â
âYou took so long I started growing white hair,â Yena jokes. She drops her robe and stands up a bit straighter, âWhere to?âÂ
When Yena finally catches a glimpse of your face, her brows furrow, âWhatâs wrong?â She leans forward to analyze your expression, eyes running back and forth across your face.Â
âNothingâs wrong,â you say, âLetâs start heading for the hall.âÂ
Yena clicks her tongue against her teeth and grabs your wrist, âIâm not stupid, you know. I can easily tell that somethingâs up. So, whatâs up?â
âThe sky,â you say wittingly. Yena gives you her stern, rather motherly, look, causing you to break immediately, âYeonjun asked me to âhang outâ again.âÂ
Her eyes widen, brightening, as a smile appears on her face.Â
The thing about Yena is that, despite understanding that you genuinely do not have feelings for Yeonjun, she still clung onto that ship for dear life. It was quite amusing watching her squeal over the smallest interactions between you both. You could say she was more delusional than Yeonjun was.
âPlease tell me you said yes!â
âWell⊠I didnât say no?â You look over at her, âI just told him I would think about it.â
âProgression!â She exclaims, âCharacter development!â
âOh, shut your mouth,â you groan. You look around to make sure no one associated with Yeonjun was around, âI donât even think heâs being serious.â
You and Yena are nearing the great hall and the smell of food is drifting out the big wooden doors and up your noses. You both are walking rather slowly, moving to the edge of the corridors to keep out of the other studentsâ ways, âWhy would you think that? From how long heâs been at it, he seems rather serious about this.â
âYenâŠâ you sigh, âHave you seen the way he interacts with other people, better yet, girls? I donât want to give him a chance because it already seems like heâs just doing this for fun. I donât wanna be⊠sought after for entertainment.â
Yena throws an arm around your shoulders, âIf you think that, then tell him you canât go. Simple.â
âThe Choi Yena telling me not to hang out with Yeonjun?â You scoff, âPlease.âÂ
âIâm actually giving you helpful, wise advice and this is what I get?â Yena huffs, âFine. What I really wanted to say is that you should give him a chance. Who knows, he can actually be serious about you and you might end up liking him back.âÂ
You shake your head, "Not until I know he has genuine feelings for me. Besides, I would have given it a shot if I had as little as a single cell in me that was interested in him. But, as you already know, I donât.â
Yena eyes you down as if it were going to knock the honest truth out of you. But it doesnât, because you were telling the truth. You have no feelings for Choi Yeonjun.Â
âNow letâs go eat,â you grumble, âBecause you say the most unpleasant things when youâre hungry.â
â.àłàż*:
When Yeonjun reaches Wooyoung, heâs greeted with a big fat thwack to the back of the head.Â
âOw!â Yeonjun jumps, rubbing the area that the other had smacked, âWhat in Merlinâs name was that for?â The two begin making their way down the corridor, keeping a look out for Changbin who they should be crossing paths with sometime soon.
âFor being a lovesick fool,â Wooyoung shoots, âGet yourself together!â He slaps Yeonjunâs back, âWhy are you wasting time over someone who clearly doesnât like you back when you can literally be with anyone else you want?â
Though Yeonjun knows that Wooyoung means well, he can't help but feel a twinge of offense at his friend's statement. He could go on about the reasons why heâs still trying, but he knows for certain that Wooyoung could not care less.Â
Frankly, when Yeonjun sets a goal for himself, there is no doubt heâll be working towards that goal with no uncertainties. And this trait easily applies to this situation.Â
Yeonjun really likes you.Â
Sure, he doesnât know the tiniest, intricate details about you, but based on what heâs heard through Changbin and things heâs learned while talking to you in class, he has this rather strong urge to get to know you better.Â
And heâs serious about this.
At a loss for words, Yeonjun blurts out the first thing that comes to mind, âSheâs different.â
Wooyoung blinks back at his friend, âYou better not be serious.â
âIâm just summing things up, Wooyoungie,â Yeonjun flicks Wooyoungâs shoulder, âI donât take you as a guy who likes hearing things about feelings.â
âTrue that,â Changbin butts in. He slides in from a nearby classroom, briefly greeting the other two wizards.
Wooyoung glares at Changbin, âDo you even know what we were talking about?âÂ
âYes,â Changbin shrugs, âY/N. Yeonjun. Who else?â
Wooyoung hums, âAnd you support Yeonjun making a fool out of himself?âÂ
Before Yeonjun can shoot a remark at Wooyoung, Changbin quickly interjects, âWell, no, but I just want to see where it goes. Plus, Y/N didnât explicitly say she didnât like Yeonjun.â
âWait, really?â No one notices but Yeonjunâs eyes light up at the information.
Changbin nods, âI mean to me at least. And youâd think she would tell me because you and I are friends. She just says that she has her own reasons or something.â
Yeonjun smiles to himself. Thatâs all he needed to know.
II. DOUBTS AND DUNDERHEADS
Yenaâs reading the ingredients of a newly learned potion as you scan over the list yourself.Â
âYou know, I donât get why weâre even making this potion,â Yena grumbles. As you prepare the cauldron, Yena leaves the table to grab the ingredients, plopping them down carefully in an organized manner, âItâs much more dangerous than Amortentia, donât you think?âÂ
âI can see why you think that,â you chuckle under your breath. You eye the ingredients that Yena has set down, using your finger to track each one of them, âYou forgot the moondew.â But seeing that your friend had already settled in her chair, you took it upon yourself to grab the plant at the bench at the back of the room.Â
âMoondew⊠moondewâŠâ you mumble. You look around for the plant, shuffling back and forth in hopes of it catching your eye, âWhere are you?âÂ
Before you know it, the herb is being dangled right in your line of sight, causing your eyes to cross for a brief second, âHere you go~â Your eyes flicker up and you immediately spot the green lining of the sleeve.
You reach up to take it from him before turning around, âThanks.â Yeonjun was standing rather close to you, though it wasnât a creepy proximity. Heâs just⊠tall. So to him you could guess that the distance between you both wasnât as close as it was for you.Â
âAnything for you,â he hums and sends a smile and a wink your way.
You groan and shoot him a look, walking right past him, âChoi Yeonjun, is this your way of asking for me to give you this potion?â
He feigns hurt, âNo. And even if it was, I know you wouldnât do it.â Yeonjun follows you to your bench and you see that Yenaâs placing the ingredients in order of which to drop in first. She smirks at his presence.Â
âAnd how would you know I wouldnât?âÂ
âI donât know actually,â he shrugs, jutting his lip out in a pout. Yeonjun takes a step back to his bench, which was conveniently the one next to yours and Yenaâs, before he continues, âI just feel like you wouldnât.â
You furrow your brows right as Yena adds wormwood infusion into the cauldron. Your nose crinkles, âIf I were you, I wouldnât trust your gut.âÂ
Yeonjun mindlessly takes the same step, gesturing for Wooyoung to go ahead with the next step, âI have a good intuition!â Yeonjun sounds like heâs genuinely trying to convince you of his secret powers.Â
âWell, okay, what number am I thinking of?â You add the asphodel into the cauldron before turning to look at Yeonjun. From the way his eyes were looking off to the ceiling, lips resting into a pout, you can tell heâs thinking.
âEight.â
âWrong, it was two.â
âHey, you could have easily changed the answer!â Yeonjun exclaims, giving you the accusatory finger, âCheater.â
âI thought your intuition was good,â you say, âDoesn't your intuition say something about if I really did cheat or not?â You make sure Yenaâs stirring the mixture the way the textbook had instructed. She even went ahead to plop the slothâs brain into the pot.Â
Then your professor speaks up, âRemember, students, that the hardest part of this potion is the stirring, please please pay attention to the stirring patterns.â
The entirety of your attention is brought back to your cauldron, you and Yena taking turns adding the needed components of the potion before preparing yourselves for the stirring. Meanwhile, Wooyoung and Yeonjun have already started stirring the mixture.Â
âCounter⊠counter⊠clockwiseâŠâ Wooyoung says slowly, making sure that Yeonjunâs stirring in the same direction as he instructed. When Wooyoung realizes that heâs on the other side of the table, he gasps, âWait, thatâs my counter, counter, clockwise!âÂ
Yeonjunâs eyes widen before stirring the mixture the other way as if it would cancel out the stirs that heâs already completed. Then it dawned on him, âYou dunce! Itâs the same for you and meââ
And right as Yeonjun finishes his sentence, the mixed elements burst onto Yeonjun, leaving him covered in an odd-coloured substance.Â
Screams of surprise echo through the room before the same individuals burst into laughter, seeing that Yeonjun was now drenched and filthy. Yena was laughing out loud, fingers gripping the edge of the table to keep herself stable. You were trying your best not to laugh out loud, pressing your lips together to hide the growing smile on your face.
When the situation finally clicks, Yeonjun knocks himself out of his state of shock, using his own robe to wipe the substance off of his face. It was sticky, so there was a good amount of resistance keeping him from successfully cleaning himself up.Â
Now you feel bad.Â
You watch Yeonjun for a few moments to see if he truly needed help. But when you realized that he was practically hopeless on his own, you sighed and stood up, grabbing the boy by the wrist, âProfessor, may we be excused? We will be back before class ends.âÂ
He nods, allowing you both to leave. And at that, youâre dragging the long-limbed Slytherin out the door of the classroom. You take him down the stone corridor and towards the girlsâ washroom. Your steps echo against the walls of the hallway as you fast-walk towards the end of the hall. Once you reach it, you sit Yeonjun down on a nearby window ledge, âStay here, Iâll be back.â
Yeonjun nods, making himself comfortable. He watches you leave and disappear into the bathroom for a good thirty seconds before you return with one hand full of wet paper towels and the other with dry ones.Â
You start wiping off the gunk from the boyâs face, starting at his forehead and working your way down his face. You're half an armâs length away from the boy, still trying to keep distance. Youâre surprised at how easily the potion slides off his face with the help of water.Â
âI thought you were good at potions,â you grumble, âNext time you need to be careful⊠youâre lucky that the potion doesnât get absorbed into skin because this situation could have been worseâŠâ You continue scolding him under your breath, but it was so quiet that even the closeness between you doesnât allow Yeonjun to hear what youâre saying.Â
You donât notice the way Yeonjun is looking at you. His eyes are crossing just to catch a proper glimpse of your focused state, flickering between your lashes to your cheeks, and your lips⊠He mentally shakes his head to rid of all thoughts clouding his head, squeezing his eyes.
âYou know, I donât need help to clean myself up,â Yeonjun says, but his expression completely contradicts his words as he grins at your actions.Â
You freeze and take a step back to reassess the situation, âYouâre right.â You hold the paper towels out to him, âHere.â
âWait, but I do need help.â
You sigh and start wiping the remaining stuff off of his face, âYouâre a dunderhead, you know that right?â You put pressure onto his cheek bone for a moment and plaster a playful smile on your mouth.
Yeonjun snickers, âYeah, a dunderhead for you.â
Your smile drops from your lips and you frown, âOh, shut up.â His face was basically clean from the potion. All thatâs left was the dried liquid in his hair and some lingering on his robe.Â
âItâs true,â Yeonjun sighs. He wonders why youâre so against him and his advances. Itâs not like heâs done anything wrong to you. You havenât even given him a chance.
You roll your eyes and attempt to scrape off the dried up potion that was clinging on to his hair, âIâm guessing youâre a dunderhead for Chaewon and her friends too.â Thereâs a slight tone of passive aggressiveness in your voice but you donât notice.Â
âWhat do you mean?â Yeonjunâs ears perk up, genuinely confused.
You let the question sit, finding the appropriate way to explain to Yeonjun what you meant. It was a difficult thing to put simply and you and Yeonjun were currently bound by time.Â
âYeonjun IâŠâ your eyes search Yeonjunâs as if he could physically hand you the help you needed, âI donât believe you actually like me.â You almost cringe because it sounded as though you were accusing him of lying, but this was truly how you felt.Â
Yeonjunâs eyes widened, âW-what? Why do you think thââ
âYou flirt with meâa lotâbut you flirt with other people too,â you explain, âOne second youâre calling me pretty and treating me nice and everything that, I admit, someone who likes that person would do⊠but the next youâre doing practically the same things for another person⊠How am I supposed to believe that you like me?âÂ
Not that it matteredâyou didnât even have feelings for the boyâbut it was good that he knew for someone he actually was interested in.Â
Yeonjun is taken aback by the confession. Is this how you felt the whole time? Is this why you havenât actually given him the chance to take you out? âHow can I prove to you that Iâm serious?â
âYouâre an expert at flirting, arenât you?â you retort, âIâm pretty sure you can figure that out yourself.â
III. A SLYTHERINâS EFFORT
After confronting the Slytherin about your feelings towards him and his actions, there was a period of complete silence over the following days. It was like radio silenceâas if something had gone wrong with the antenna and you were forced to scramble to fix it. Encounters with him in the halls or in class were kept minimal by the boy, only going as far as saying a hi and goodbye before going on his merry way.Â
Judging from his actions, you took it as a confirmation that Yeonjun really didnât have feelings for you. This realization evoked mixed emotions within you. Sure, youâre glad that you got him off your back, having the peace and quiet in herbology that you used to have. But youâd be lying if you said that you wished that Yeonjun would still speak every once in a while to fill that silence.Â
It was odd if you think about it. Why did Yeonjun even ask how he could prove his feelings for you if those feelings were non-existent? Was that just part of the âfunâ? An attempt to get your hopes up before stopping altogether?
Ouch, you think, shaking your head to get rid of these thoughts from your head. If Yeonjun didnât actually like you, he couldâve just said so. But hey, you should be ecstatic that he's finally done with this whole act, right?Â
At least heâs making it easy on you.
That is until Yeonjun came unannounced to the Gryffindor table one morning. He, surprisingly, did not don the smirk he often wore on his lips. Instead, his lips were curved into a gentle smile, his eyes mirroring the same warmth.Â
âMorning, Lions,â he greets.
âChangbinâs still at the dorms,â you mumble, dipping your head to sip on your soup.Â
Yeonjun shakes his head, âIt doesnât matter. Iâm here for you.â He held out a small, white plastic bag toward you. It was full, but you werenât quite sure with what.Â
You guess that Yeonjun read the confusion on your face, quickly following up his disorderly actions with, âMy mom usually sends snacks and I asked her to send these for you.â You hear Yena almost choke on her food, but she shuts herself up by downing water.
Odd. âOh⊠thank you?â Youâre not even sure how to act, reaching out for the bag before sticking your nose into it to catch a glimpse of the aforementioned snacks. And funny enough, this is what catches you off-guard.
They were your favourite snacksâones you couldnât get here or at Hogsmeade.
âHow did you know I liked these?â Yeonjun warms up at the way your eyes light up. You look up at him and thank him again.Â
Yeonjun shrugs, âYou might have mentioned them a few times during herbology. Anyways, I gotta go back to the table. But I hope you enjoy those!âÂ
âI will,â you say mostly to yourself. You set the bag on your lap and stare at it, puzzled.Â
âOooââ
You clamp your mouth over Yenaâs mouth and side-eye her, âShut your mouth right now or else Iâm lodging a breadstick down your throat.â
Yenaâs eyes widen but she grabs your hand and peels it off her face. She whispers, âI thought you said Yeonjun didnât like you.â You nod, âI did but⊠No. I donât think this means anything.âÂ
âAre you crazy?â Yenaâs eyes look like theyâre about to pop out of her head, âHe remembers what youâve told him and heâs asked his own mother to send you these!â
You donât look at Yena because sheâs right. The process into actually pulling this off is⊠sweet. And thoughtful.Â
With a dismissive shake of your head, your gaze falls on the closest person, who happens to be Soobin, âBinnie, can you please pass the breadsticks?â
â.àłàż*:
âWhy do you like herbology?â
The question causes you to freeze, gloved-fingers stuck in the dirt when you try to process Yeonjunâs question of the day. When you look over at him, you realize he wasnât even looking back at you. Instead, he was fiddling with the herbology textbook sitting on the table, flipping back and forth between the pages of todayâs lesson.
You let out a sputtered "Huh?" as your head tilts to the side in confusion. The question seemed to have come out of nowhere, leaving you uncertain whether it was asked out of genuine curiosity or sheer boredom.Â
âI never really asked you why you liked the class so much,â Yeonjun takes a quick glance at you through the corner of his eye, âI mean well. I genuinely want to know.âÂ
You wanted to continue questioning what was going on. First the snacks and now this?Â
Was Yeonjun broken?
Your mouth had opened just a bit in preparation to interrogate the boy, but since he had made it clear that he was being serious, you shut your mouth before mustering up an answer.Â
âThereâs just something⊠interesting in the fact that all the plants we deal with can be used to create things that can either benefit or create drawbacks to a personâs life. Others have such useless purposes, too, but I still find it captivating that plants can do things you could hardly expect⊠Like mandrakes. Theyâre god-awfully annoying, but they can help heal curses and stuff.
âThen thereâs dittany⊠I think itâs easily one of my favourites. They can help heal wounds easily so they come in handy in a lot of situations⊠like my grandmaâs created her own ointment recipe with dittany and itâs done wonders in my family. I guess the main reason I like herbology is the idea that we can somehow use these things to help people. Thatâs what I prefer, at least.â
When you finished speaking, you realized that you have never said that out loud to anyone before. It was something that never came up in conversationâa topic you knew no one cared aboutâyet here you are blabbing on to Choi Yeonjun about your love for the subject.
âWow, when you put it that way, herbology does sound cool.â
You furrowed your eyebrows and looked at him, âYouâre saying that as if youâre not in an advanced class right now.â
The softest grin appears on Yeonjunâs face as he pushes his textbook away from him, âI know. But herbology isn't the main reason Iâm here.â
âThen, what are you doing here?â
âFor you.âÂ
The corners of your lips lift at the brief appearance of the playful Yeonjun you were familiar with. Of course, you think.Â
Before you could even question further, Professor Longbottom launched into another rant about the day's lesson, drawing your attention away from the strange, indescribable sensation that was slowly taking over your heart.
â.àłàż*:
You were on your way back to the hall for dinner having taken a stroll around the castle grounds after a nap. With workload becoming heavier and days growing shorter due to the time of year, you were hoping to clear your mind while sightseeing.
You couldnât say it worked, though.Â
All your mind could do was wander back to the topic of the upcoming defense of the dark arts exam, the feeling of anxiety continues to creep up your neck despite the efforts to get rid of them. The subject was not one of your strengths, as your strong distaste for dueling led to a lack of effort in the class.
Now that a practical assessment was coming up, you werenât sure how you were going to do⊠and frankly you didnât like doing horribly in your classes.Â
âPenny for your thoughts?âÂ
You gasp quietly at the sudden presence of Yeonjun, whoâs wearing an odd combination of his quidditch uniform and training attire. In his hand heâs holding his broomstick. By the looks of it, he just came from quidditch practice.
"I don't think it matters that much," you let out a lackluster, breathy chuckle and continue walking towards the castle. Yeonjun adjusts his pace to match yours, even though his long limbs seem eager to move faster.
âThat look on your face says otherwise,â he shrugs, âBut, do not worry, you still look as pretty as always.â
You stop in your tracks and glare at the boy, who halts two steps too late.
âWhat?â Yeonjun questions, âItâs true.â He recognizes a specific glint in your eyes and Yeonjun realizes that this was not the time to be flirting, âIn all seriousness, though, whatâs wrong?â
Yeonjun takes you by surprise once again and you almost stumble in your steps from his efforts. It was nice to see that Yeonjun did have this side of him. While you've grown fond of his playful personality, it's refreshing to witness him in a different light.Â
You think about what you want to say to Yeonjun. âI think itâll help more if you just tell me about your day,â you tell him. You needed distraction from the near-overbearing stress that youâre experiencing. In hindsight, you realized that taking a stroll alone may have been a mistake. Being left alone with your thoughts was never a favourable situation for you or for anyone.
Yeonjun immediately understands the situation, and before you know it, no questions asked, he begins to tell you all about his quidditch practice.
Yeonjunâs position was the teamâs beater, so he spent the entire practice with his fellow house member, Jongho, who was also a beater, hitting bludgers back and forth to get used to what strength they needed to exert to send it going any way they wanted.Â
âWe were just hitting it back and forth,â he says, âLike we always do. But this time, we decided to use our non-dominant hands to hit them.â Yeonjun swings his left arm as he continues, âAnd, you see, Jonghoâs left handed so we made this a competition between just the two of us to see who was better with their other arm.
âSo we went back and forth. It was hard at first, but he and I started getting⊠cocky about how I was doing better. It was actually terrifying because, you know, the rest of the team was just there⊠they could easily have been hit and all. But since, weâre the best beaters in this entire schoolââ Yeonjun sends a prideful smile your way and you canât help but scoff, ââwe didnât let that happenââ
âUntil?â you butt in.
Yeonjunâs eyes widened, âI canât believe you think thereâs an âuntil.âÂ
âAm I wrong?âÂ
Then, Yeonjun's eyes narrow and he tightens his lips into a thin line. "You're lucky you're cute..." he remarks, reaching out to poke your cheek. Surprisingly, you let him do it. "Anyways," he continues, "That was until we remembered that we also have a coach... guess who's at the infirmary with a bruise as big as a crab apple?"
You gasp, âI thought you guys were Hogwartsâ best beaters?â
Yeonjun exclaims, âWe are!â
âThen why is your coach in the infirmary?âÂ
âAccidents happen!â Yeonjun defends himself, âHeâs alright, though. The nurse says heâs going to be back in shape by tomorrow.âÂ
The conversation turned out to be much more enjoyable than you had anticipated, and before you knew it, you were already approaching the doors of the hall. You could see other students trickling in, and your eyes instantly caught sight of Yena through the doors.
âThatâs good to hear,â you stifle a laugh, âAnyways, I gotta go, Iâm starving.âÂ
As youâre turning to leave, youâre stopped by Yeonjun, who has reached out to grab your wrist, âI hope your problems will be resolved soon.â
A warm feeling tickles your chest and you let a genuine smile appear on your lips, âThanks, Yeonjun.â
With that, you give him a small wave and head inside the hall to join Yena and the other students for dinner, feeling more at ease than before.
IV. THE GLOVES
If given the chance to describe your best friend in one word, youâd say spontaneous. Since the day you met her, she has the habit of making a decision in one moment and then completely changing course in the next. It was a trait of herâs that you found rather impressive, because you could never live your life like that. But despite being impressed, it's still hard to deny that it doesnât occasionally frustrate you.
Last night, Yena was determined to study for the upcoming dark arts exam over the weekendâyou even agreed to study with her (which wasnât the best option on your end)âbut upon waking up at right at noon, sheâs decided to give up on this goal and, instead, take an impromptu trip to Hogsmeade. Whatâs worse was that sheâs dragging you along with her, practically giving you no choice but to tag along.Â
Although you had no plans for the weekend but to begin studying, you were planning on staying in the dorms because temperatures were dropping to an uncomfortable low. You were in no mood to visit Hogsmeade since it did take a great deal of walking to get around. But since Yena would not shut up until you agreed to come, you were now digging through your trunk, trying to find the pair of gloves you swear you packed.Â
âY/N, make haste!â Yena exclaims from downstairs, âTime is ticking!â
âIf you keep speaking like weâre in the nineteenth century, I will not make haste,â you yell back. Thereâs a sudden urge to bang your head against your trunk. Your gloves were nowhere to be seen and now you have to accept the fact that Jackâs going to be nipping your fingertips during the entire trip.Â
Slamming the trunk shut, you let out a deep huff and pull your coat sleeves down over your hands.Â
This will have to do.
Yena makes a beeline for Honeydukes the second you make it onto Hogsmeade grounds. Sheâs hauling you along with her, and you do nothing to protest.
âMy supply of jelly slugs are dwindling,â she mutters, throwing the door open before stepping foot inside. The warmth is comforting, especially since the two of you had been walking in the cold for the past 20 minutes, âChangbin took two packs because apparently I owed him.â
You look at her, âWhy did you even give them if you werenât even sure?â Yenaâs arms are filled with jelly slug packages, cradling them as if she gave birth to them.Â
She shrugs, âI was actually convinced I owed him until I thought about it.â She secures the sweets and looks over at you, âDonât you want anything?âÂ
You scan the selection of candies and chocolates surrounding the both of you, âI suppose I can use some gum for studying.â
âOoh, youâre right! Grab me a pack too, please!â Sheâs jutting her chin to gesture towards the pack of gum laid out on a nearby shelf, thanking you when you grab a pack for you both, âIâll pay for it since I forced you to come with me.âÂ
You donïżœïżœt protest again, âFine by me.âÂ
Plopping all the sweets down onto the counter, you immediately see the look of horror on the employeeâs face. You can read her mindâprobably thinking that Yena was crazy. âI-is that all, sweetheart?â Yena nods and slides her a note before even waiting for the total.Â
On your way out, sheâs already ripped a pack open, snacking on the slugs, âWant one?âÂ
Before you can even reply, a male voice butts in, âDonât mind if I do!â To accompany it, a hand slides in from your left and straight into Yenaâs new bag of jelly slugs. This slightly startles the both of you, stumbling away from the new presence.
Yena groans, âSeo Changbin, you literally have the ones I gave you back at the dorms!â Yena tucks the candy into her sleeve and gives Changbin a crossed lookâone that could kill.Â
âWait, I want one!â Wooyoung appears from behind Changbin, whoâs closely followed by Yeonjun. Both boys have their chins tucked into their jackets, hands stuffed deep in their pockets, âMay I please have one?â
Yeonjun waves at you, and though you couldnât clearly see his mouth, you can tell he was smiling because it reaches his eyes. You wave back and you couldnât help but mirror his expression.
Yena blinks for a quick moment, but then moves slowly to give the Slytherin a single slug, âOnly cause you asked nicely⊠unlike someone over here.â She shoots Changbin another deadly glare before moving on, âWhat are you guys doing here?â
Wooyoung uses his thumb to point toward the castle, âWe were just about to head back. You guys?â
Yena shrugs, âIâm about ninety-percent sure we were going to head back, too. Unless you have somewhere to go, Y/N?â Your best friendâs looking at you, waiting for a reply.Â
âOh, uhâŠâ you shake your head, âNo.â
Yeonjun beams, âThatâs great! We can all walk back together?âÂ
You donât notice the way Yena smirks before she agrees on behalf of the both of you, âSure, why not?â
And before you know it, you find yourself walking alongside Yena and the boys, witnessing Changbin and Wooyoung playfully shoving each other off the path. Yeonjun takes long strides beside them, unsurprisingly condoning the play-fighting. Yenaâs busy picking out specific jelly slugs from her bag, occasionally looking up to make sure she doesnât stumble over a rock or tree root.Â
âIf you guys hit me, youâre getting hit back,â she mutters, attention still directed towards her sweets.Â
Meanwhile, youâre freezing your arse off at the rear of the group. You feel the chill in the air seeping into your bones and youâre desperately blowing warm air into your hands in hopes that you wonât get frostbite.Â
As the castle grows closer with each step, you feel the urge to break away from the group and sprint ahead, painfully longing for the warmth of the castle. Your hands are numb, and at this point, youâre afraid that youâre never going to get sensation back, even if you go as far as sticking your limbs into fire.Â
The thought makes you panic. Sure it was a bit unrealistic, but still your mind rushes past a bajillion different thoughts that involve things you did with your hands. Herbology, crocheting, playing sports⊠what if you canât do those anymoâ
âHere.â
You blink to suck yourself back to reality, shaking your head to grasp how Yeonjun was now directly in front of you. His arm is extended, handing you something that you donât quite recognize at first. After taking a closer look, you realize that heâs handing you over his own pair of gloves.Â
âHuh?â
âGloves.âÂ
âI know what they are,â you say softly, âBut for what?â
âYouâve been breathing into your hands since we left Hogsmeade,â Yeonjun points out, âSo put these on. I can take them back when we get to the castle.â He nudges the mittens towards you, urging you to take them. âTake them.â
You canât help but feel your cheeks heat up at the gesture. âIâm okay. Besides, you need them, too.âÂ
You attempt to walk around the boy but he stops you, "I don't want to see you freeze. It's either these gloves or... I hold your hands to warm them up." His voice trails off with a playful hint, and you can't help but feel your heart flutter at the thought. But as quick as the feeling came, you knock some sense back into your head before you hastily pluck the mits out of his hands.Â
âGood,â he grins, patting your head through your toque. As you slide your hands into the gloves, you realize they're a bit too big for you, causing them to slip off easily. You ball your hands into fists and stick them into your pockets. Then Yeonjun asks, âHey, have you thought about the game?âÂ
To be honest, the invitation had almost slipped your mind amidst the recent events. However, now you find yourself more open to the idea. But before you could confirm that you were willing to go, the yelling of both Wooyoung and Changbin interrupted your conversation.
Yeonjun apologizes and groans, making a beeline to the other two to calm them down.Â
âI swear it wasnât this far of a walk to Hogsmeade.â Your best friend stuffs her hands into her pockets and sinks her head behind the collar of her jacket.Â
âNo, Iâm not carrying you to the castle,â Changbin looks like he turned his head 180 degrees to look back at Yena, but it was just his coat giving you the illusion.
âWho in bloody hell said I wanted to be carried by you,â Yena gags. She bends down to pick up the nearest pebble before chucking it at Changbinâs leg. The latter flinches, and again, his head spins to look at you both. He sends Yena a dirty look before maturely continuing on (mainly because Yeonjun already gave him a warning).
The five of you trek back to the school grounds in near silence, the exhaustion evident in your steps as the chilly weather envelopes the area. You wonder if Yena actually regrets going to Hogsmeade on such a gloomy day, but when you look over to check how sheâs doing, sheâs munching on the jelly slugs with a content expression.Â
As the Slytherins break off, Wooyoung bids a simple "goodbye," forcefully dragging Yeonjun along with him. He knows damn well that Yeonjunâs going to spend an extra 10 minutes talking to you when all he wants is to get back to the dorms to take a nap.Â
Wooyoungâs so quick to leave that the two disappear in the blink of an eye and youâre not given the chance to return Yeonjunâs mittens. Though, it was also on you for not remembering to give it back.Â
Yena notices how youâve slipped the mittens off and are now staring at the pair as if they hold some sort of enchantment. âAnd you still havenât fallen for him yet?â Yena smirks, eyeing the item of clothing in your hand.Â
âGross, why would I?â Your face scrunches and you hold the gloves out to Changbin using your index and your thumb, âTake them. Give them back to him.â
âPlease,â Yena scoffs, âDonât lie, I know youâre all warm and fuzzy for Yeonjun.â Yena playfully pushes Changbin's arms away, preventing you from giving him the mittens, âAnd donât give those to the poor boy. Return them yourself.âÂ
"Poor boy?" Changbin questions, raising an eyebrow in confusion.
You groan, âIâm not all âwarm and fuzzyâ for Yeonjun.â You look down at the gloves in your hands, âObviously, I like him better than before but my feelings for him arenât romantic.âÂ
âPoor boy?â Changbin repeats, but seeing that you and Yena were absorbed in your own conversation, he gives up.
The three of you finally reach the portrait of the Fat Lady. Yena rolls her eyes, âMmmhmm⊠itâs just a matter of time before you actually start liking him like that.â She mutters the password and soon, youâre making your way into the common room. It was miraculously empty.Â
âWhat do you even mean by that?âÂ
Yena throws her head into her hand and palms her face, âMy sweet, sweet Y/N⊠Think about it. Not too long ago, you were constantly complaining about Yeonjun and how irritating he was. Now youâve just confessed that you like him better than before. Guess what the next stage is?â
âBest friends,â you answer, attempting to seem nonchalant about the subject.Â
âYou guys talk more than he and I do,â Changbin points out, snickering, âAnd weâre best friends.â Yena nods eagerly, gesturing to the boy as if heâs made a life-changing statement.
You shrug, âThat doesnât mean anything.âÂ
âHmm, I donât know about that,â Yena speculates, âCan I point out that you were in a bad mood the four days Yeonjun barely spoke to you?âÂ
âI was in a bad mood because of the potions exam,â you justify, âAnd I have you as a partner.âÂ
âOkay, fair, but you have to admit it wasnât all just because of that,â Yena pushes.Â
âI wonât because it was all because of that,â you facepalm, âYouâre just saying anything at this point.â âYou canât tell me you didnât feel at least something after all those things thatâs happened this week,â Yena remarks, raising an eyebrow and crossing her arms in a challenging manner.Â
âThings?â Changbinâs eyes grow wide, âWhat things?â
âThey mean nothing,â you repeat, âJust⊠friendly random acts of kindness, which I do appreciate. Nothing wrong with it.â
âThereâs also nothing wrong with admitting that you like him at least a smidge,â Yena frowns, âI know youâre a softie at heart, and I know thereâs no way that you didnât feel all warm and fuzzy at least once.â
As Yena continues to probe about your feelings for Yeonjun, your stubborn nature kicks in, and you find yourself reluctant to admit what sheâs assuming. Sure, your heart might have skipped a beat or two because of Yeonjun, but it was just a momentary flutter, a reaction that doesn't hold any significant meaning.
Right?
Besides, you weren't ready to admit something to others that you hadn't fully come to terms with yourself.Â
So you shake your head and deny, âNope. Not once.â
â.àłàż*:
If Yena saw how much of a fuss you were making over something as simple as returning Yeonjun's gloves, she would tease you relentlessly. So you figured that this would be a solo quest, one that required not being caught by Yena.Â
You stand at the doors of the hall, gloves clutched in your hands as you try to search for the Slytherin. The hall was busier than you thought, but it wasnât intimidating. Youâre not even sure why youâre worried about this. You were simply handing the gloves back and telling him that you were going to the game as friends. It really didnât mean anything.
A sense of relief washes over you when you spot Yeonjun fooling around with Wooyoung and Changbin in a relatively empty area. This means that you can get this over with. Hand them over, tell him, then youâre done. Simple.Â
Working up the courage to do it, you slowly make your way down the long room, gripping the gloves tightly with one hand. When youâre near, it's Wooyoung who first catches sight of you since he happens to be facing your direction. He utters something that you couldn't quite make out, but it's accompanied by a gesture that catches the attention of Yeonjun and Changbin, prompting them to turn around.
Yeonjun lights up, which you only interpret as a smile, before he waves at you, âY/N!âÂ
You don't know why youâre suddenly shy, feeling yourself shrink under the attention of Yeonjun. You grin back and give them all a small wave before you take small steps, âI forgot to return these the other day.â You hold it out to him. Your arm begins to shake at the slightest, so you steady it with your other arm.
âDid you really forget or did you want to keep them?â He teases, sending a wink before gently retrieving them. He thanks you.Â
You feel your cheeks heat up and you shake your head, âI forgot to⊠if it werenât for Wooyoung who dragged you away.â You give the other Slytherin a look, âAnd⊠before I leave, I didnât get to tell you yesterday thatââ
âChoi Yeonjun,â a female voice rudely interrupts your sentence. Youâre slightly shoved to the side by another Slytherin who you were not familiar with (nor did you care), taking your place in front of Yeonjun. Changbin looks like heâs about to tell her off, giving you a sympathetic look.Â
âKim Hyunji,â Yeonjun greets, âWhat brings you here?âÂ
You start playing with the sleeves of your wool sweater, growing impatient despite the fact that the new presence has barely been there for a minute. The words being exchanged between Yeonjun and the girl soon turn into an unintelligible babble, leaving your mind unable to grasp their conversation. But judging by the way the girl grew gradually closer to Yeonjun, you didnât need to know what was being said. The exchange goes on for a bit too long for your liking and you can feel your brows dropping to form a scowl.
As you recall the recent interactions with Yeonjun, you realize that amidst all of them, you forgot that Yeonjun was still the flirt that he was. Sure, it probably came naturally to him, but witnessing him flirt with another girl evokes a foreign feeling that tickles your chest.Â
âIâll see you there, then?â Yeonjunâs words are suddenly clear and you feel something tap your chest.Â
âOf course Iâll be,â she replies, a smirk forming on her face as she turns to leave.Â
The second sheâs gone, Yeonjun turns back at you, eyes softening, âSorry, Y/N, she tends to do that a lot⊠what were you saying?â
As if youâve experienced an emotional whiplash, you freeze and lose the words that you previously practiced in your head. Your mouth opens but nothing comes out.Â
What was happening?
âY/N? Are you okay?âÂ
You swallow nervously and, in a hushed voice, you say, "I-it can wait." Without wasting a moment, you swiftly leave the room, your hand instinctively moving to your head as you try to make sense of your confusion.
Finding the nearest bench outside of the hall, you sit down and catch your breath, unable to focus on anything else that was going on around you.Â
âY/N?â Your eyes meet Yena's, and without hesitation, she takes the empty seat next to you, her brows furrowed with concern. âWhatâs wrong?â
Youâre chewing on your bottom lip, trying to explain exactly what youâre feeling, âWhat does being jealous feel like?âÂ
Yena hums to indicate that sheâs thinking. She presses her lips into a thin line and looks around, âI think the best way to describe it is kinda like⊠you want to squash whoever youâre jealous of with a boot.â
Youâre not sure if that was even an accurate way to describe jealousy, but the way Yena describes it is exactly how you felt with Hyunji. Sure, youâd never ever condone physical aggression, but if you had the power to pull her out of that conversation with Yeonjun like a mandrake, you would.Â
âBloody hell,â you mutter. Because why in Merlinâs name would a single cell in your body be feeling jealousy in that situation? You have no right being jealous of this girl. Not when you donât have feelings for Yeonjun.Â
Yenaâs ears perk up and lean closer, âBloody hell? What do you mean bloody hell?â
Unless⊠you do have feelings for Yeonjun.
Which could explain every odd thing thatâs been happening to you. The way you practically dreaded the days when Yeonjun spoke to you so minimally. The way Yeonjun has made your heart skip more beats than one. The way you were feeling jealous over some girl youâve never met before.Â
Maybe you did have feelings for Yeonjun and maybe it was time that you had to accept them.
âAnd what does it mean if someone makes my heart race?âÂ
Yenaâs jaw drops, finally processing whatâs going on. You didnât even need to explicitly say Yeonjunâs name to indicate that this was about him. She saw it coming. But she doesnât want to ruin the moment. Sheâll let you tell her yourself, âDepends⊠is it in a good or bad way?â
âI supposeâŠâ you blink, âBoth?â Confirmed, Yena holds back a smile, âIt means you like that someone a lot.â
V. AND THE DITTANY
No you werenât avoiding Yeonjun on purpose.Â
You do embarrassingly admit that youâre afraid to see him after the whole ârealizing your feelingsâ ordeal, but it's as if the universe decided to give you a break today and made sure you and Yeonjun wouldn't cross paths.
By some stroke of luck, or perhaps the mischievous workings of fate, today was a day that you and Yeonjun did not share one class apart from herbology, which had miraculously been cancelled at the very last minute. It seemed almost magical that you didn't cross each other's paths at all during the entire school day.Â
To be wise with your time, you took the day away from Yeonjun in an attempt to think the situation through. Because what do you do now?
Do you just drop the bomb on him like, âoh hey, I like you by the way!â Or should you keep it a secret for a bit to build momentum?Â
Yena was quick to advise that you should confess ASAP, âAnd preferably at the quidditch game! Imagine how cute! Youâre cheering for him and only him⊠and when the snakes win, youâre going to be there andââ Then you interrupted her because you werenât completely sure if that was even the best way to go about it.
But if you think about it, Yeonjun was a simple guy. You could tell through the way he did decide to show you that his feelings were genuineâbullocks! He paid attention to all you had to say in herbology, asked his own mother to send your favourite snacks just to give them to you⊠he didnât hesitate to make you feel better the day you were stressed for an exam.
Hell, even before you confronted him, Yeonjun had been showering you with the sweetest gestures that you could only now fully appreciate.Â
If only you could knock some sense into your past self.Â
âThe library will be closing soon,â you look up and find the libraryâs student assistant, an apologetic smile sitting rather awkwardly on his face. With a nod, you wait for him to leave, giving yourself a moment to gather your thoughts. You begin collecting your things, the fatigue from the long day making your eyes feel strained and exhausted. Almost as if they could pop out of their sockets with the slightest blink.
As you make your way back to the Gryffindor dormitories, you hear shuffling far behind you before you suddenly hear your name being called out. You turn around to see who it was, and to your surprise, it's Yeonjun, running down the empty corridor with his arms waving frantically to get your attention.
 When he finally catches up to you, you greet him with a shy smile, âYeonjun.â
âI havenât seen you all day,â he says, a pout appearing on his lips, âI was looking forward to herbology because I finally got to see you, but curse Professor Longbottom for eating bad soup.âÂ
Your stomach flutters at his nonchalant comment and you feel shoving your head into the nearest bush, âYeah, haha⊠What are you doing here?â
âI was just going on a stroll to clear my head,â he grins, âAre you heading back to your dormitory?âÂ
You nod.
âWell, let me walk you back then,â Yeonjun offers and you donât protest. If you hadnât seen Yeonjun all day, at least you had this, âDonât want evil creatures creeping up on you.â
You give him a look, âDonât be silly. There arenât any evil creatures on the school grounds.âÂ
âI know,â Yeonjun snickers, âItâs just an excuse for me to walk you anyway. But my intuition is telling me that you would have let me regardless.â He leans forward and down to your height, pretending to search your eyes for answers, but you donât budge.Â
âYour intuition is wrong,â you say, trying to avoid eye contact.
âNever. At least, not this time,â Yeonjun shakes his head, âAnyways, Iâm happy I bumped into you because I was going to ask you if youâve decided on coming to the game.â
âThat⊠that was what I was going to tell you the other day with the gloves butââ
âBut Hyunji, I know,â Yeonjun nods, âI know it sounds like I invited her to the game but since sheâs a Slytherin, she was going to go anyways andââ Yeonjun sighs and pauses to find words to explain the situation, âI want you to know that you were the only one I invited.â
The tone in Yeonjunâs voice takes you by surprise. You can tell that he still has his mind set on proving to you that he has feelings for you and no one else. You frown, âYeonjun⊠I know youâre only telling me this because of what I told you that day during potions but⊠I want to tell you now that I believe you.âÂ
Yeonjunâs face lights up and questions, âYou do?â
You nod bashfully, âI realized it that day on the way back from Hogsmeade.â
Yeonjun wishes he could tell how much that meant to him, a feeling of relief washing over him like soft waves, âThank you.âÂ
âFor what?âÂ
âFor believing,â he grins, âItâs one step closer to making you like me.â Yeonjun winks before his eyes squeeze shut, breaking into a wide smile. His expression fills with an exaggerated appearance of triumph.Â
âHmm, weâll see about that, Choi Yeonjun,â You laugh at the irony, âAnyways, I was saying that I will be going to the game.â
âYou areââ
âFor Jongho,â you tease, âThe best beater of the team.âÂ
âYou donât even know Jongho!â Yeonjun exclaims, âHow can youââ
âIâm joking,â you poke the side of his arm and roll your eyes, âIâm going for you. The only one who invited me.â
âIn that case, Iâll lend you some facepaint and my extra jerseyââ He stops when he sees the look youâre giving him, âJust the face paint then?â
Although a small part of you would have wanted to wear his jersey, you were still currently keeping your feelings to yourself. Rejecting the jersey before and suddenly accepting it would look a bit too suspicious, âI suppose that would be fine.â
You donât realize that youâre at the portrait and you canât help but feel a bit bummed that the walk was over. It was too short. You barely had the opportunity to talk with Yeonjun about anything else, âIâll see you then?â
Yeonjun nods, a smile reaching his eyes, âYes I will.â
â.àłàż*:
The day of the game, you, Yena, and Changbin found yourselves in search of ways to pass the time before it was time to head for the pitch. There was truly nothing to do, so you all opted on taking the longest route around the castle possible.Â
The three of you were dressed in any green item of clothing you could find in your packed clothes, agreeing that it would have been odd if you all showed up in Gryffindor attire. If you were there to cheer for Yeonjun, you all had to at least look the part.Â
Yena takes the opportunity to fill the silence, bubbling with excitement as she talks about the day's upcoming events, specifically your plan to finally confess your feelings to Yeonjun. She knows that you weren't keen on going along with her previous ideas, so she gave you the freedom to come up with your own plan. âTell me what youâve come up with.â
âWell,â you begin hesitantly. Truthfully, you have not found the time to think the plan through, opting to just âwing itâ when the time came, âI was just thinking of simply telling him?âÂ
âThatâs the most rubbish plan Iâve heard in my years of living,â Yena blinks.
Changbin snorts, âI donât even think thatâs considered a plan.âÂ
You scowl and give them both a look, âI just donât want to make too much of a fuss.â
âI know you donât,â Yena blinks, âBut thereâs something missing.â
âThis is going to be gross,â Changbin grumbles, completely ignoring the problem, âI donât want to see you and Yeonjun getting all mushy-gushy around me!â
You physically jump, âYou could have used any other term and you settled for âmushy-gushyâ...â
âIâm serious!â The boy exclaims, âI support you two⊠getting together⊠but please donât be those couples that do PDA in the halls.â
âYou really think Y/N would do that? She would neverâŠâ Yena scoffs. Then she looks over at you with a slight glint of fear in her eyes, âR-right Y/N?â
You nod, âNever. And I give you both permission to knock me into my senses if I do.â
From a distance, the sound of rapid footsteps reach your ears, gradually growing louder and closer.Â
âWhy⊠in Merlinâs⊠beard⊠are you all⊠the wayâŠâ Wooyoung gulps as if he could catch his breath easier, âBack here?â Heâs clutching items in his hands and he holds them out for any of you to take them, âYeonjun said⊠oh, bloody hell.âÂ
You watch him catch his breath for a couple of long moments before he starts again, âYeonjun said he forgot to give you these.â Reluctantly, you take them to get a better look. Turns out, it was just two small cans of silver and green face paint, âHe was going to give you them himself but he was called in by the coach for a pre-game talk.â
âYou ran to find us just for this?â you say, âYou could have just met us at the game.â
Wooyoung shakes his head, âNope, I was sent to find you.â He takes in the outfits that you three were wearing, âIt looks odd seeing you all in something that isnât black, red, or gold.âÂ
Something in Wooyoungâs comment causes something to click in Yenaâs head, brows shooting up, âJung Wooyoung, can you help us out?â
âDependsâŠâ Wooyoung says carefully, âWhatâs in it for me?âÂ
âI canât believe you made me steal one of Yeonjunâs extra uniforms,â Wooyoung groans, unamused. Heâs out of breath again, having to run back to the Slytherin dormitories and to a chosen meet up spot next to the bathroom.Â
âWeâre not stealing, weâre borrowing,â Yena rolls her eyes, grabbing the jersey from Wooyoung, âBesides you could have said no.â Without another word, your friend grabs your wrist and pulls you into the bathroom.Â
âPut it on,â Yena says, âAnd then we can paint your face.âÂ
âYou seem more excited than I am,â your voice is laced with equal parts intrigue and nervousness. Finally giving in to wearing Yeonjun's jersey (and without him knowing) was something even you didnât expect, especially since you had turned down the idea before.Â
âItâs âcause thereâs nothing to even fret about,â Yena scoffs, helping you tug the larger jersey on, âOkay, now for the facepaint.âÂ
Yena was wrong. Sure, you knew Yeonjunâs feelings for you were reciprocated, but there was just something about confessing your feelings that was downright terrifying.Â
Positioning herself in front of you, your best friend blocks your view of the mirror, and with a mischievous grin, dips her fingers into the paint. Without any hesitation, she begins painting the right side of your face, her touch gentle and precise. You can feel her fingers tracing a swoop underneath your eye and on your cheek bones. With the same maneuver, she moves to the left side of your face, creating another swoop, but this time, just overtop your brow bone.Â
âAnd for fun,â Yena presses dots on your left cheek and right brow bone to create a reverse image on your face, âOkay, now take a look.â She backs away from you, letting you look into the mirror.Â
You couldnât help but cringe at the silver and green paint on your face, not to mention the green jersey you were donning. You looked like you were a Slytherin, which in this case was a good thing, but it still pained your inner Gryffindor.Â
âYou look cute, even though youâre wearing green and silver,â Yena smiles, âAnyways, we should get going. The game starts soon and we need good seats for your boyfriend to see you~â
âHeâs not my boyfriend,â you groan childishly. She drags you back out the bathroom, causing you to stumble out through the doors and in line of sight of Wooyoung and Changbin.Â
âHe will be soon enough.â
âTraitor!â Changbin jokes, pointing to you, âGryffindorâs got a traitor!â
âCan you shut your mouth or Iâm stuffing it with the first critter I find in this castle,â you say through gritted teeth.
Changbin puts his arms up in a feigned surrender, âCanât believe youâre doing this all for Yeonjun.â
âYou look pretty Slytherin-y,â Wooyoung nods in approval, âYouâre going to knock him off of his broom.â
â.àłàż*:
âWelcome to the final game of the season!â The announcer, Soobin, delivers, âToday⊠Slytherin versus Hufflepuff!â Soobinâs voice is followed by whoops and whistles, livening up the stands. Youâre cheering alongside everyone else, feeling the nerves begin to dissipate as your attention is directed toward the game.Â
You can see the players are making rounds in the air, getting a feel of the pitch before the game begins. Your eyes try to spot Yeonjun, who, at first, was nowhere to be found.Â
âWhere is he?â you whisper. The players zoom by so quickly that they appear as mere blurs, their movements too swift for your eyes to track.Â
Slowly, the players start taking their positions at the center, facing each other as they wait for the referee to release the snitch, the bludgers, and the quaffle. And there, right by the goals, you spot him, positioned next to who you assumed is Jongho. You feel a kick of energy take over your system and you begin shouting for the green team (mostly Yeonjun).Â
As if he had a sixth sense, Yeonjun feels your gaze on him. When he manages to find you in the small sea of people his face lights up. His nose scrunches up as he playfully waves, all before he puckers his lips and sends a blown kiss your way.Â
And although youâre supposed to be used to Choi Yeonjunâs flirty antics, youâre left stunned and internally screaming, unsure of how to react in that moment. You're lucky Yeonjun doesn't catch sight of all this, too busy refocusing on the game that was about to begin.Â
âThe game begins! The Hufflepuffs have taken possession of the quaffle!â You hear Soobinâs voice boom over the speakers.Â
Although you weren't much of a regular at Quidditch games like the other wizards, you did understand the appeal. The current game was thrilling, both teams proving their worth as the score remains neck and neck. But to be embarrassingly honest, the first two periods seemed like a blur to you, as most of your attention was shamelessly focused on Yeonjun.Â
âMake sure your eyes stay in your head, now,â Yena teases, leaning over to whisper, âYou have all the time in the world after this.â
âAm I being that obvious,â you freeze, eyes widening.Â
Yena nods, âYeah, but only to me because I know. I donât think anyone around here would notice you staring at him.â
Changbin butts in, âI noticed.âÂ
âAnd no one asked,â Yena redirects Changbinâs head to the game.Â
Just as Yena leans in to whisper another comment, the booming voice of Soobin echoes through the speakers, announcing, "Slytherin's Choi Yeonjun is currently taking on two bludgers!"
Your gaze snaps towards the pitch, searching for Yeonjun in the sky. True to Soobin's words, you spot Yeonjun veering away from the bludgers that chase after him. The determination etched on his face is evident as heâs trying to carefully time his swings to counter the oncoming attacks. Jongho trails closely behind, swinging his bat in an effort to redirect at least one bludger off course, but his attempts fail.Â
âCan bludgers even do that?â Wooyoung yells, âThey canât, right?âÂ
Changbin and Yena shrug while your attention is still entirely on Yeonjun. âCâmon, Yeonjun,â you mutter underneath your breath.Â
Everyone around you seemed to be holding their breath, their eyes fixated on Yeonjun. It feels as if time has slowed down, with the entire crowd sharing a collective sense of anticipation. The other players were, for the time being, long forgotten, completely uncertain about whatâs going to happen next.Â
Was Yeonjun going to be able to out-fly the bludgers or was he going to be knocked?
As you watch Yeonjun continue to fly, you can't quite tell if the bludgers are picking up speed or if he was slowing down. But youâre sure of one thing, the gap between Yeonjun and those bludgers was closing in fastâso close that you found yourself bracing for impact.
âHeâs hit!â Soobin yells through the microphone, which was closely followed by a whistle.
Your eyes widen in shock as Yeonjun, in a desperate attempt to regain balance on his broom, slips and loses control of the broom. Before anyone could even process what was happening, the broom shoots straight to the ground, taking Yeonjun with it.Â
You're left speechless, leaning over the railing of the stands in disbelief, desperately trying to catch a glimpse of what was happening. A group of adults rush to Yeonjun's aid, their faces etched with concern and panic. It doesn't look good from where you're standing, and a wave of worry washes over you.Â
âI-I need to go down there!â you speak before you think. Your grip around the railings is so tight that your knuckles are ghost white.Â
Yena shakes her head, âI know you want to be sure heâs okay, but look how much people are down there already.â Sheâs right, there were tens of people already surrounding the boy and it wouldnât be a good idea adding to the chaos.Â
âBloody bludgers,â Wooyoung mutters, âSince when did they do that? Iâve never seen bludgers do that.âÂ
Your heartâs pumping, beating against your chest while you try to anticipate any news on Yeonjun. The stands sound like beehives, eyes trained on the situation happening down below.Â
âLadies and gentleman,â Soobinâs voice returns through the speakers, âI have been informed that Slytherin's Choi Yeonjun will be okay but will be taken to the infirmary for care. The game will start again shortly.âÂ
âIâm leaving,â you say flatly.
âWait, Y/N,â Yena stops you, âI donât think theyâll let you visit him right now, if thatâs what you were thinking.âÂ
âIâm going back to the dorms,â you frown, âI canât keep watching the game if I know Yeonjunâs hurt.â
âIâll come with you, then.â
And you donât refuse her offer, mainly because youâre still stunned by what just happened, before bidding the boys goodbye.
â.àłàż*:
The following day, you made it your mission to visit Yeonjun in the infirmary. According to Wooyoung, hadn't returned to the dorms overnight, so you expect that heâs still there and resting.
âHello, sweetheart,â the nurse behind a desk greets you, a smile reaching her tired eyes, âMay I help you?âÂ
You glance into the infirmary and notice that only two beds are occupied. They were both indicated with privacy screens, âIâm here to visit somebody. He was brought here last night. Choi Yeonjun.â
She nods and you watch her gentle smile slowly transform into a knowing one, âHeâs in the occupied bed to your right. I believe heâs still asleep, but you can wait for him to wake up if youâd like.âÂ
You thank her and quietly make your way to Yeonjunâs makeshift room. There's this nagging feeling that visiting him is a bit strange, like you're going out of your way for a guy you're not supposed to be crushing on. But then you remember that Yeonjun is also your friend. Friends check up on each other when they're down, right? So, here you are, paying him a visit like a good pal.
You peek around the screen and see that Yeonjun was, in fact, asleep. Your eyes catch sight of a broken left arm and some bandages that were wrapped around his other arm and his head. He was laying on his side, using his good arm to support his head.Â
You couldnât help but frown at the sight of an injured Yeonjun, sitting down at a chair already pushed up near the bed.Â
âDamn, bludgers,â you mutter, scanning over his injuries one more time. They werenât the worst injuries, but they were still injuries that needed to be treated.Â
Treated.Â
You gasp quietly, almost forgetting what you had brought with you. Digging into your pocket, you fish out a container of ointment that you and your grandma had managed to concoct a few weeks before the year had started. It was the ointment with the dittany. The one you remember telling Yeonjun about.
You swear by your grandmaâs recipe.
Leaning back in your chair, you run your thumb over the lid of the container, deep in thought. The room is filled with an overwhelming silence, and Yena's voice echoes in your mind, urging you to confess your feelings to Yeonjun and make him feel better. However, you decide to prioritize his well-being for now, putting your confession on hold and focusing on ensuring that Yeonjun is okay.
Then you can practically hear Changbin gagging from how awfully âmushy-gushyâ the decision was.Â
Air shoots out of your nose when you huff out a laugh.
With a sigh, you shift your focus back to the injured boy who was still sound asleep.Â
At least who you thought was sound asleep.
As you turn your attention back to Yeonjun, you catch him staring right at you, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. It's almost as if he had been waiting to get caught in the act.
âYeonjun!?â You exclaim, nearly jumping out of your seat, âWhy are you just sitting there and staring at me!?â The nurse shushes you, and you quickly quiet down, collecting yourself. Youâre tempted to hit his shoulder, but you remember that heâs injured, âHow long have you been awake for?â
Yeonjun doesn't bother answering your question; instead, he leans in, locking eyes with you. The look he gives you is soft, and his lips form a gentle smile. You feel your cheeks heat up, your chest doing the same as you shrink back into your chair.
âWhat?âÂ
âYou like me.âÂ
You freeze and begin to panic. How were you supposed to react to that? You were supposed to be having a conversation about how he was feeling⊠if he has a concussion⊠you were supposed to be giving him the dittany ointment you brought with you⊠but not this.
âN-no I donât!â you try your best to keep composure, gulping a growing lump in your throat.
âWhy else would you be here to visit me?â Yeonjunâs nose scrunches, âYou care about me.â His head tilts to the side, still training his eyes on you, âI think it was about time.âÂ
At this point, your heartâs running a mile a minute and the roomâs growing hot. What were you supposed to do? You were still in the position to deny everything. That, no, you werenât here because you liked him. You could say you did care about him but as a friend. It worked. Besides, you were here strictly to make sure he was well. Not to confess.Â
But then again, this was practically an opportunity that was beckoning for you to go for it and take the chance. Yeonjun was making it easy for you. So, why not?
"And what if I do like you?" You narrow your eyes at him, a playful smile forming on your lips. "Did you forget that you like me, too?"
âWait, what?â Yeonjunâs eyes widen and his jaw drops to his chest, âYouâre not joking right?â
âJoking about what?â
âA-about you liking me,â he stammers. Yeonjun shuffles in his bed, trying his best to sit up, âI-I was just joking about you liking me⊠I didnât think that⊠youâd actually agree to it.â
âWhy would I joke about that?â you frown.Â
âI-I donât know,â Yeonjun begins to play with the edge of his blanket. Heâs a stuttering mess and he canât seem to muster up the confidence heâs always had around you. It was an odd feeling. Heâs never been on this end before, âYouâre really⊠not joking?âÂ
âI would never joke about that,â you shake your head.Â
âA-are you sure youâre not joking,â Yeonjun repeats, âLike really?â He hopes that heâs not visibly sweating through his bandages and that you canât hear the hint of nervousness in the tone of his voice. There was even a part of him that thinks that heâs just woken up in a dream and in reality, heâs still passed out on the infirmary bed and recovering from his fall.
What⊠What if heâs not actually alive right now and his brain is shamelessly walking through his dreams?
Nope. Too much.Â
He knows that this was real life solely because he could still feel a mix of both stinging and dull pain in his broken arm.Â
âChoi Yeonjun, I really am not joking!â you groan, frustration evident in your voice. "Do I need to provide you with evidence? Because I can't even pinpoint when I started liking you! It just... happened, okay?"
Yeonjun takes a moment to gather his thoughts, his expression shifting. He realizes you're not joking. Like, really not joking.Â
You really do like him back.Â
At the realization, a surge of confidence washes over him and that playful smile that youâve grown familiar with appears on Yeonjunâs lips.Â
"You can... prove it to me with a kiss," he suggests, his voice tinged with anticipation. Yeonjun canât quite read your expression, so he quickly follows up his cheeky proposal with, âOnly if youâre okay with it! But Iâm just⊠saying that Iâm okay with it.â
Yeonjun's gaze drops, and he focuses on the imprint of his toes in the blanket as he waits for your reply. He hears you shift in your chair and soon he feels a looming presence right by his cheek. He feels a rush of warmth from your breath, causing a shiver to run down his spine and momentarily freezing him in place.
With a mix of nerves and excitement, Yeonjun squeezes his eyes shut, his heart pounding in his chest. He's not entirely sure what to expect, but the hopeful part of him believes that you might be leaning in for that suggested kiss. Just as he thinks you might lean in for the kiss, he feels a gentle peck on his cheek.
You pull back, a mischievous grin spreading across your face. "There," you tease.
Yeonjun's cheeks flush a tint of red, âT-There?âÂ
âWas that not enough to prove it?âÂ
He pouts, âI was⊠expecting it to beâŠâ Yeonjun gestures to his lips in the cutest way possible. He appeared to be genuinely confused, brows furrowing, âTo beâŠâ Heâs too embarrassed to say it out loud.Â
You playfully roll your eyes and lean in once again, aiming for a gentle peck on the corner of Yeonjun's lips. But Yeonjun's curiosity drives him to turn his head toward you, causing your lips to meet.Â
The contact of his chapped lips on yours catches you off guard, sending what felt like jolts of electricity through your body. For a moment, you consider pulling away, afraid that you've made a mistake, but the gentle hold of Yeonjun's arm around your forearm anchors you in place, easing your nerves. It was like his own way of saying it was okay if you were okay with it too, allowing you both to melt into the kiss.Â
Thereâs a brief second that you both forget that youâre sitting in the infirmary of the castle, the world around you fading into the background. All you could hear is the muffled sound of your heart knocking against your chest, and youâre hoping and praying that Yeonjun doesnât hear it.
Just as Yeonjun brings himself to deepen the kiss, youâre both interrupted by the voice of a certain Gryffindor, âThis is exactly what I was afraid of!âÂ
You turn to find Changbin with a bouquet of flowers (which he had obviously picked from the castle groundsâ bushes) and a rather appalled expression on his face. He lets out an exasperated groan before turning away, muttering under his breath as he walks off. His voice fades off into the distance, âIâll be back later⊠wonât be mushy-gushy my arse⊠I wonder if thereâs a spell thatâs equivalent to bleaching my eyesâŠâ
You and Yeonjun exchange a glance and burst into fits of laughter, unable to contain the hilarity of the situation. Of all people, it just had to be Changbin who walked in at that moment.
As the laughter subsides, you both catch your breath, still wearing wide smiles on your faces. You and Yeonjun settle back into the moment. The interruption may have momentarily disrupted the moment, but it also added a touch of light-heartedness to the intensity of your feelings.
âSoâŠâ You say, âDid I prove it to you?â
Yeonjun's warm gaze meets yours, his voice filled with certainty, "That was more than enough to prove it."
If you made it this far, I want to thank you so much for taking the time to read this! It would be cool to hear what your fav part/'chapter' was (I'm a curious person)! If not, it's okay, I'm still thankful you read this! <33
#Txt#tomorrow x together#choi yeonjun#Yeonjun#choi yeonjun x reader#yeonjun x reader#yeonjun fluff#yeonjun imagines#yeonjun scenarios#yeonjun blurbs#tomorrow x together imagines#txt imagines#txt scenarios#txt fluff#txt blurbs#txt x reader#Kpop#kpop imagines#kpop scenarios#kpop blurbs#my writings#hogwarts au#txt hogwarts au
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Death's Angel
Part 5: When No One is Watching
royal!fem!reader x executioner!konig
Summary: It's 1554. You're one of the eight daughters of the Austrian royal family, and your parents do everything they can to ensure their kingdom is prosperous and peaceful. No royal court is complete without their hand-picked executioner, one who stands out against the sea of black, faceless bodies that make up the profession. It just so happens that your family's new executioner, one who has made a name for himself far and wide for his skill with the axe, has caught your eye and ruined you for good.
Warnings: MDNI! smut, mutual pining, forbidden love, death (konig is an executioner duh), mean sisters, mentions of medieval-type violence, overbearing parents, konig is brooding and a perv, some predator/prey dynamics, possessive!konig, maybe dark themes bc reader likes seeing him kill people and bc he's a perv?
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 6
if you asked to be tagged on the taglist and you aren't there, that means tumblr wasn't letting me tag you, or i missed you on an older post. i'm not ignoring anyone! i'm very grateful for the support!!!
.......
series inspired by the art below!
your first sexual encounter with konig truly spelled the end for you as a well-to-do, behaved princess. when people were watching - your sisters, parents, family members - you were sure to act your civilized, royal self. you kept up with your studies and your duties in the royal court when in the public eye. to everyone, it seemed as though nothing had changed: you were the same girl that you were before konig entered the castle. you still curtsied exactly like how you were taught, you still covered your mouth when you chewed food, you still were educated and prim and proper.
but when no one was looking? when every living soul in the castle was asleep at night? that was a different story. you would - almost nightly - sneak down to konig's quarters and let him have his way with you time and time and time again. whether it was his cock shoved down your throat, his tongue slurping on your cunt, or his cock pounding you from every position imaginable, the princess you once were was long forgotten. konig never took the mask off, but you didn't mind. you once admitted to him in the midst of a rough session that the mask really turned you on.
there were even some nights that you'd have to stay in his room with him. nights when he fucked you so hard for so long that you would fall upon standing, or you'd simply pass out once he finally pulled out of your irresistible pussy. on those nights, he'd hold you close and gently caress your head and whisper things to you that you had no hope of remembering. all you knew was that he only spoke those words when it was clear you wouldn't remember them. on nights like these, when you had to stay in his quarters, he would wake you up very early to give you time to sneak back to your room and bathe before you had to don the royal facade.
there were some nights when konig would come all over your body, when it would cover your tits and ass and stomach and sometimes face. you quickly ran out of spare cloths, and had to sneak some more down each time you went. as for the cloths that got ruined, well, you had no choice but to burn them. there was no way they would ever truly be clean again. just like you, in a way.
when you would see konig outside of his room, the days you had to watch his executions, you ruined a pair of panties each time you saw him at his trade. the way he grunted and swung his axe had you hot and needy in minutes. there were some days when you couldn't wait until it was night, and konig could barely clean the blood from off his hands before you were pulling him into some spare broom closet for him to fuck you with his large, calloused hand clamped over your mouth. you'd clench around him so tightly when he did that, and he never last long during those specific encounters.
you found that you could barely focus during the day. acting like the pure princess you once were was now a quite tiresome task, and was not your true self, as you saw it. your true self was when you were on your knees for your executioner, or when his cock was rammed all the way up to your cervix. you couldn't admit it, but konig was right. he did ruin you.
the length of your conversations varied. sometimes, there was barely any words exchanged before he'd strip you bare. but there were also days when you would sneak him down some food from the royal table, and you'd watch him adoringly as he ate and muttered about how good it tasted. he would never tell you, but he loved it when you brought him food.
there were some conversations you had that konig told you to forget. conversations where he talked about how sweet you were, how you were truly an angel.
"you are an angel, you know that?" he whispered one night as you lay catching your breath with your cheek against his chest.
"hm?" you asked, not quite hearing what he said.
"Du bist meine Engel."
despite konig wanting you to forget those words, you never would. when you asked him why he wanted you to forget, he'd whisper things like "you've made me soft." you would always smile at him when he said that, and he would always avert his gaze.
there were times when he felt disgusting and dirty for treating one of the Austrian princesses like she was a whore on sale during happy hour. there were times he lay awake at night and wondered why he was so disgusting, why he loved corrupting a beautiful, sweet, innocent creature such as yourself. but he couldn't ever feel disgusted with himself for too long when he saw the way your eyes would roll into the back of your head, or how you'd moan his name as you clawed his back red. if you were his angel, you had fallen from heaven, but not from any fault of your own. he had dragged you down, and you fell willingly.
you had never felt so free, though. in konig's quarters, surrounded by stone and dim torchlight, you could forget about the social rules and niceties and courtesies that littered your mind each day. you could look konig in the eye, not have to bow, not have to cover your mouth when you laughed or worried if your dress was sitting properly. konig's quarters was the one place in the whole castle where you felt you could be yourself, and more than just sexually. there were some times when you two wouldn't fuck at all. you'd just lay on his bed, and he'd listen as you talked about your day as he ran a hand gently through your hair. he never talked much about himself, but his lips certainly got a bit looser when you snuck your hand under his shirt.
...
"you can talk to me, konig," you whispered in his ear one night as you gently dragged his shirt halfway up his chest and rubbed his abs. "you can trust me." you could tell that something had been bothering him the last few days.
konig pursed his lips under his mask and closed his eyes. you could feel the way his stomach rose and fell with each of his breaths. you kissed what skin you could access on his shoulder before he finally spoke.
"if anyone finds out, they'll take you away from me," he whispered quickly, as if he didn't want you to hear it.
you stopped stroking his abs and sat up a little to look at him. "no one's gonna find out," you soothed him as you gazed into his grey-blue eyes. "don't worry. we've been careful."
"they'll take you away from me," he repeated, gazing at the ceiling now rather than at you.
you kissed his cheek through his mask, and he blushed. but you wouldn't know. "if anyone manages to find out, I'll take care of it. nothing will come between us."
you laid back down and stroked his chest once again. "if we were to, I don't know, run away, where would you take me?"
konig blinked and wasn't sure if he heard your question. he mulled over your words, and hugged you a little tighter into his side. "as far away from here as possible."
"if I wanted to run away with you, you'd come with me, right?" you asked as you looked up at him.
"that's not a good idea," he scolded, but his attempts at setting you straight were feeble given how broken his voice sounded.
"I didn't ask if it's a good idea, konig," you said gently as you snaked your hand up his chest towards his hooded face. "I asked if you would come with me."
"yes." he said without any hesitation.
...
as the next month flew by and you and konig got closer, it got ever harder to hide your relationship with him. you two had never officially declared your status to each other, but konig's affections for you were beginning to be expressed in ways other than him fucking you senseless. if he saw a pretty rock in the stream he washes his clothes in, he'd save it for you. if he found a colorful feather on the ground, a shiny coin, any little trinket, he would give you. most times, he would take your hand in his own and place the gift in your palm before turning his body to the side. "I thought you might want this," he'd whisper uncertainly. you always smiled and thanked him so sweetly for his little gifts. signs he was always thinking of you. you were used to always receiving lavish gifts of jewels and clothing, makeup and rare gadgets. but Konig's gifts of little things he stumbled on throughout the day warmed your heart and meant so much more to you than any other gift you'd ever received. his gifts had a childlike innocence to them, and almost made you forget how he ruined you most nights. those gifts hinted to you that maybe you meant more to konig than you thought.
...
sometimes, you would fantasize with konig about what life would be like if you two ran away.
"what would you do if you weren't an executioner?" you asked him after a rather soft session. he was spooning you and gently rubbing your hips with his thumb. your head rested on his firm bicep.
he thought for a moment. "probably be a knight, or mercenary for hire. i am not fit for normal jobs."
you giggled softly. "yeah, I can see that."
"what about you?" he asked. "what would you want to be if you weren't a princess?"
your whole world stopped, and your eyes went wide. no one had ever asked you that. you were the one living the life that all the little girls in your kingdom dreamed of. what you were every day of your life, is most women's highest fantasies. why would anyone ever ask you if you would want to be anything other than a princess? what else would you possibly want to be? you paused for a while as you thought and chewed your cheek.
"i...i don't know, konig," you admitted quietly. "maybe...just living in a little cottage by the countryside. just enjoying each day, doing what I want. maybe be a village herbalist, have some cows and chickens."
konig gently squeezed your hip. "that sounds very peaceful, Engel."
you went silent, but the warm tears that fell on konig's bicep spoke more than your words ever could. he hugged you tighter and closer to him.
"if you want me to take you away from here, i will. you have my word, Engel."
you sniffled. "you can't do that konig. you have a job here, you can't just mess up your life for me."
"my life was messed up the moment i first looked at you," he said sincerely. rough around the edges, but you knew he meant well. "there's no going back. I don't want to go back. if you want to go, we go."
your head spun. "but how will we pay for everything?"
"do not worry, Engel," he said as he stroked your hair. "i have money saved, and i'm sure you could sneak some of your own on the way out. all will be well."
you held onto his bicep as you cried, and he soothed you as best as he could. you finally managed to stop crying, and now lay tired and limp against him.
"just say when, Engel," he whispered into your hair. "just say when, and we will go."
taglist: @kneelingshadowsalome, @plumdreadful, @dumb-dumb-idiot-girl, @elichisstuff, @konig-breedme, @tr4psta, @cutiecusp, @konigsleftkidney, @local-vampire-s1ut, @ihaveaproblematicbrain, @twice360noscope, @madzeesstuff, @crazy-phan-girl13, @babygirl-panda19, @warrior-of-justice, @eluffi, @mooniesthings, @elowynnlane, @zaxlrza, @red-bed-bug
#cod mw2#konig fic#konig call of duty#konig smut#konig imagine#call of duty mw2#konig cod#konig#konig x reader#konig mw2#konig modern warfare#cod konig#konig headcanons#konig x you#konig fluff#call of duty modern warfare 2#call of duty#call of duty mwii#modern warfare 2#cod modern warfare#modern#konig x oc#cod mwii#cod fanfic#könig cod#codmw2#cod x reader
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don't mind me - just some rainy day musings bc sweeney todd 2023 has rotted my brain
someone's tags on a gifset got me thinking about 2023 revival lovett and todd and the special something their dynamic has. there's something about this particular iteration of these characters and their relationship, especially as we see it evolve throughout the show (even as we've seen it evolve throughout the show's run), that just makes mrs lovett's betrayal and her death at his hands hit hard. i know, i know - she deserves it. she lies! she's a lying liar. her deceit is no small thing. any one of us would be incensed to have been misled the way she misleads sweeney. even if a small part of her may have done it, as she says, to spare him having to see what became of his lucy, the larger part was certainly to serve her own interests.
but there's something about how close mrs lovett gets to bringing sweeney around to her this time that just gets me carried away. they're not just business partners - they're lovers, they're co-conspirators, and they're sort of each other's only friend in the world. at this point, he indulges her flights of fancy. they know each other intimately. they joke with each other! he's likely had to listen to countless hours of her prattling on about her thoughts, hopes, and wishes. this is a man who, at this point in the show, is slitting people's throats without remorse. and yet he spends the evening on the sofa cleaning his pipe while he patiently listens to his girlfriend rave about a seaside wedding. when she takes his hand, he doesn't wrench himself from her grasp like he used to. he doesn't get up and walk out, which he could do. he accepts her - her presence, her company, her warmth. he may struggle to admit it to himself, but he does. he can concede that he loves her - just a little bit, though he can't quite bring himself to say the words. sweeney is fiercely loyal to lucy's memory, so much so that he clearly couldn't ever wholly give his heart to someone else, but, in that moment after "by the sea", you can see that he's softened toward lovett. they were both alone a long time before this, after all.
it's not the stuff of great love songs, but it's something. it's almost enough.
this is what ultimately makes the final living moments between them all the more heartbreaking. mrs lovett has always been a sympathetic character to me - a villain, sure, but not without her reasons. she's a woman alone in a brutal world. whether the character is an older or a younger iteration, she's been alone for a desperately long time. when sweeney returns to her after all this time, she sees her moment and she takes it. she's not letting her second chance at life get away from her without a few claw marks.
when sweeney kills her, he sheds no tears over it - but the grudging fondness we'd seen him beginning to feel toward her only serves to emphasize how monstrous of a deception it is. his "you LIED to me" comes out in an anguished roar. when he throws her in that oven, all the light goes out from the world. it takes my breath away every time. though it should, it doesnât quite feel like justice.
i know not everyone loves annaleigh's interpretation, but i have maintained from the first time i saw this revival that the warmth she brings, the honeyed, deluded, comical sweetness that lures sweeney into believing life with her could be tolerable, if not ideal, was a brilliant choice.
that's why the leap into hell together works for me. some productions have had sweeneys that barely tolerate their lovetts, so a cold diverging of paths makes sense. these two definitely fall into a different category. it makes sense to me for this sweeney and lovett's ultimate fate to be each other. who else would it be? lucy did nothing wrong - she's not going where he's going. having made lovett pay for her lies, they can head on down (hand in unlovable hand!!!!!!!) to live out the almost-enough life they created with each other. and sure, her chirping his ear off for eternity would certainly make an appropriate punishment for his crimes.
#sweeney todd#long post#lord but i do go on!#mrs lovett and i have this in common#i've enjoyed them since i discovered the show in 2006 and they are very much My Brand#but i really do just feel a deep fondness for j&a's todd/lovett antics#and any other production whose sweeney/lovett Go There#also soz to reference the movie but#the moment where hbc's lovett echoes sweeney's 'life is for the alive my dear' back at him? perfection#'maybe not like i dreamed. maybe not like you remember. but we could get by.' perfection. no notes.#anyway the girlies that get it get it#otp: if you only knew
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you getting push back on that post is crazy to me isn't it enough to watch and get invested in something for what it is currently rather than what it will be? I have so many unfinished projects in my own life it'd be crazy to demand polished completion from everything I watch/read. my unfinished sketches and embroidery and abandoned dnd campaigns still brought joy and growth without having a polished thing to present at the end
So what's funny to me is like. I have referenced this before here and elsewhere but like, as a child, I was SO bad at ambiguous and sad endings and my mother was like, not unkind about this, but neither did she coddle it, and I think that laid a groundwork that was really necessary.
My tags, which got lost bc I did NOT expect that post to break containment, do actually touch on how Netflix and other streaming services canceling things to avoid paying people a fair wage fucking suck but yeah here's a list of creative endeavors I participated in or watched/listened to/read that do not as of this posting have endings and I still liked, and many of them aren't even directly attributable to capitalism because this is just a fact of life and art.
As mentioned, both A Song of Ice and Fire and the Kingkiller Chronicles.
Multiple D&D campaigns for sure (I actually don't make D&D characters without a game in mind and find it weird that people do and so I'm like why am I the one arguing for the beauty of the incomplete).
Multiple fics, both mine and others.
King Falls AM, a podcast I binged in like 2018-2019 and despite being a mystery never actually completed bc the creators couldn't agree.
I think Battlestar Galactica 2003 is one of the most brilliant shows of its era and also the finale, which happened when the creators intended it to, is really dumb, and that doesn't undo the fact that I loved everything else.
How I Met Your Mother ends really poorly in a way that arguably undercuts the whole series, but like, I still liked that too.
Ditto for Chuck, which also struggles in that it was on the chopping block most seasons so they kept ending in ways that probably weren't true to whatever the original vision may have been.
I saw Firefly on DVD after it had already been canceled, I think Serenity is good but I don't love all the choices, and Joss Whedon has since been revealed to be a dick but like, I enjoyed myself greatly while watching it.
As mentioned, Heroes. I didn't watch much TV until my teens anyway because we didn't have cable and our reception sucked and we were very much a book household, and this was one of the first series I recall watching from season 1 and it's also the first TV series where I was like yeah I don't care anymore, and it went on for 4 seasons and I think I gave up either late S2 or early S3.
I didn't watch Supernatural, Game of Thrones, nor Grey's Anatomy but all of those are famous for outstaying their welcome, sometimes it's better to burn out than fade away, etc.
I had already long outgrown Harry Potter and started to see its limitations by the time Rowling's transphobia became public but like, now it's not something I would ever recommend to my friends' kids or anything, and that doesn't undo the fact that I did greatly enjoy it as a child and teenager; it was indirectly the reason why I was introduced to the superior fantasy of Diana Wynne Jones, which I do still reread from time to time. (I think the "well I never liked it" mentality about works from artists who end up being terrible people is tied into the "I can't get invested in anything that might end in an unsatisfying manner." Tumblr University's media studies grads are not the brightest stars in the firmament, that's for sure.)
Like, cancellation (let alone cancellation specifically because of the unique shittiness of streaming services) is just one of the many reason things might end in a way you dislike or become difficult for you to enjoy at a later date, and that's just talking about television. Are you really going to deny yourself the joy of anticipation and watching a story unfold in real-time because the thought of something not satisfying you at every single turn is so unfathomable?
(oh, and because this is, as we know, a CR blog much of the time, I should add that this mentality is really pervasive which is wild because your average 3-season canceled Netflix show is probably the equivalent of maybe 9-10 CR episodes; thinking about how many people who now claim C2 is terrible watched 141 episodes and also the person who is iconic to me who unironically asked me what the point was in getting invested in characters who will die re: Chetney)
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Actually I'm copy pasting my own tags bc I wanna keep talking about this.
I know I only have two situations to go off of and so it's not a lot in terms of evidence, but we see how with Krell, Fives and eventually other clones keep impressing upon the fact that Krell does not like clones, he doesn't respect them, he's unnecessarily destructive, etc etc. And eventually Rex starts to see this but he doesn't (and obviously can't) go as far in pushing back against Krell as Fives Hardcase and Jesse can
(I'm talking about this from memory sorry)
And with Fives, yes there were other caveats to why Rex couldn't do a deep dive into the chips but I think it's his own fear of having his world view shattered? In a way? That might be holding him back
If Fives and co were right about Krell then that would mean Rex was helping march his brothers to their deaths for battle strategies that were barely working. It would mean there were Jedi who could make him and his brothers suffer without so much as facing half a consequence for it. He'd have no choice--ultimately had never had a choice--and thus beyond protecting his brothers (which he'd failed to do so far) what was his purpose? To serve a Republic that would let literally just anybody treat him and his family like dirt?
So if Fives and co were right about the chips, again it would be a thing of choice and duty and autonomy, and Rex didn't want to believe he could have ever been made to do something against his will. He's big on choice(s that lead to following ones duty). I can't remember his specific quote from s7 (if someone could help w that I'd appreciate it) but in the space of time between fives death and O66, Rex didn't investigate, I don't think.
Again, viable caveats (busy as hell, for one) but this is what I think about him so far.
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SHIPPING INFO // ANSWER THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR MUSE(S) SO PEOPLE KNOW HOW SHIPPING WORKS ON YOUR BLOG.
-----
WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER(S)?
Me, an indecisive person cannot choose a ONE true pairing with Haru. I could probably reason my way through shipping her with a whole legion of different characters if it's done a certain way. Still, I do have some biases.
Haru with Hibari, Yamamoto, and Gokudera are my strong biases. Honorary mention to Belphegor (bc it was a ship on this blog at one point), and Byakuran (look LOoOOOOooooooK, it was in the works at a time, okay? I said I could reason most things if it's done a certain way and I meant it)
HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?
In general, +/- 5 years has me feeling a bit uncomfortable. Larger age gaps... are acceptable if certain circumstances are met-- like she is an adult and she's met them as an adult. Possibly.
HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED NSFW?
Honestly? With how prudent Haru is, the answer should be if hands start to roam LOLOLOLOLOL realistically, that get chalked up to a suggestive tag. When clothes start coming off that's when a NSFW tag would be needed.
ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?
I'd say so? I care about chemistry and me understanding the dynamic between two muses. To elaborate, as much as I enjoy Hibari and Haru, if I don't know how the other person writes and portrays their Hibari, I will not immediately say yes. I have to understand how they write their muse and see how that muse interacts with my muse.
Once I get a good feel for that, and if I think I can get along with the mun, I'm more or less open to giving it a go.
WHO ARE OTHER CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH?
... man... this is an out Neo question. There was a time when there was talks of an AU Tsuna x Haru ship (I know, it's a shock for me). There were also talks of Mukuro x Haru in an AU (lol don't judge me, okay? I enjoy challenges) From a personal standpoint (non-rp) kinda thing, I've also liked to think on Basil and Haru, or Shoichi and Haru. I won't lie, Enma x Haru had my attention at a point too.
Look... in the Haru interviews she did say she likes them kinda dangerous and wild and my brain goes: lol so Ken? AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH (did I mention that while I also like a challenge, i'm also a troll?)
Ah! I won't lie. Haru and Kyoko also has me thinking sometimes. The day anyone asks me about why I ship or think about certain pairings is the day you better have cleared at least an hour on your calendar.
I don't ship it, but random trivia is that I once found art with Jaeger and Haru on tumblr. I searched for 30 mins and couldn't find it to terrorize people with. (I did however save it to my computer somewhere so I can terrorize you if you ask to see it on discord. I saved it for terrorizing purposes. If I HAD TO SEE IT SO WILL YOU!)
DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?
Yes, because I default everything to friendship. I will never assume anyone is going for a ship, so I need to be explicitly told. I'm kinda dumb so I may not realize you're trying to hint at a ship. Just tell me you're interested and i'll consider it.
ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?
I'm mostly ship more or less because I don't need Haru to be in a relationship to be happy. It can be nice to have, but I'll live without em. Though if you take the time to talk to me a lot and thread a lot with me, I can easily get invested the more a relationship's dynamic is fleshed out. I get lowkey (and sometimes secretly) obsessed then.
ARE YOU MULTISHIP?
Yes... but I don't think it's ever happened that way before in the years i've had the blog.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?
Ohh... favorite... singular. Oohhhh ye I don't do choices. Just refer to question #1.
FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?
The easiest way is to talk to me ooc sporadically and get me comfortable with you. Thread with me and allow me to get a feel for their dynamic together. If I seem to be friendly with you and we've talked a decent amount, you can just go: 'hey wanna ship?' and i'll probably say yes.
If you're looking for any other dynamic (familial, friendship, etc), just straight up ask and i'll be like AYO? YEEEE
Stole from myself
Tagging: I don't tag, just steal it.
#Tagged meme#((Felt like doing it more specifically on this blog so here we go for a third time today))#((I've never been the same after seeing Jaeger and Haru being drawn in the same thing before lol.))#((Only ask to see it if you wanna question your life lol))
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I remember that in the tags of a recent post you said the way they did diamond choices in Witness was a prime example of PB's greed, and I was like "Wait is it that bad?" so I played a chapter of Witness and then a chapter of The Freshman to compare and I realized TF only had like 1-3 diamond choices per chapter and it was for stuff like outfits or spending extra time with characters, meanwhile with Witness it seemed like I couldn't even get very far in the story without being presented with yet another premium choice đ Some of them also made zero sense bcs I was like "wait why is the book forcing me to spend diamonds to comfort Cassian??? Are they guilt tripping me by paywalling all of my MC's opportunities to be kind"
Yes, itâs definitely that bad lol. I remember because they made an announcement about how they were trying out a new tiered premium choice model I guess you could say. So basically you had to pay to unlock certain actions in the steamy scenes, for example kissing/touching when first starting out, then taking off clothes, then using handcuffs, etc. You get the picture. And they tried to frame it as like a way to go as far as you want with the LI, then stop. But it was just bad, especially because neither the base story nor the diamond scenes had very much substance. And I think you would end up paying more than the regular 30 diamonds for scenes like that. And even outside of the steamy scenes, there were some chapters where they were charging for damn near every reasonable reaction, romantic gesture, and normal, non-bitchy dialogue option. Basically I think they were trying to see just how much they could get away with by using that book as an experiment. And Iâm glad it flopped đ€·đœââïž
#choices#choices stories you play#playchoices#choices app#choices ask#but now we have VIP unfortunately#so theyâre still managing to get away with being mediocre bc people donât wanna have standards đ€Šđœââïž
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The first person to explain attachment in the movies is Shimi Skywalker. She lets Anakin go and live a better life bc she is not attached to him. She tells him to not look back. This is the woman who raised Anakin. He was raised in a no-attachment household. He has no excuse. He was always taught about attachment. He knew what he was doing was wrong. He did it anyway.
Lol, I've seen this argument before: "Shmi raised Anakin to not have attachments, but Anakin had attachments anyway! So he has no excuse for having attachments later!"
I've always got to love the mental gymnastics and argument acrobatics to avoid mentioning that Shmi and Anakin were slaves and had zero rights and zero fucking choices in their situation, and therefore by definition cannot have attachments. You've got a best friend who's also a slave? Too bad, they got sold to a Hutt who lives on Nar Shaddaa, and you'll probably never fucking see them again. Oh, you've got an attachment to food? Well, Watto lost big on his latest bets and pissed about spending more money on rations, so it looks like Shmi and Anakin are going to be sharing one portion per day for the next month.
Shmi didn't make the choice to teach Anakin about not having attachments. Because there was no choice for them. They couldn't have attachments because they had no choices. And anything or anyone that they valued could be ripped away from them at any given moment, simple as that. And--listen carefully, because here's where a lot of fans seem to get lost--the reason for this inability to hold onto possessions or relationships is they were slaves without any kind of rights and who would be beaten for disobedience (this is canon, at least for Anakin).
This was not Shmi attempting to instill Jedi philosophy in Anakin from Day 1, this was simply the harsh reality of their lives. Because until Anakin came to Coruscant, his life was just one big giant trauma of never being able to control any of his own circumstances because he was not considered a person. I do not understand how many people in fandom completely miss his various obvious circumstances on Tatooine.
All the time, people try to hold up Shmi's advice to Anakin of "Now, be brave, and don't look back. Don't look back," as some kind of beautiful teaching moment, but it wasn't. It was the final goodbye of a mother who knew she was doomed to a life of toil and servitude on a hellhole planet, but who wanted better for her kid, because she knew he had a chance. That isn't some triumph for Shmi or the Jedi. It's just incredibly sad that she knew her life had no chance of improving and that it was unlikely Anakin ever would come back to free her, and that the best she could hope for was him having a life where things were better, even if it meant forgetting her.
And I know somebody will or has already said in the comments or tags of this post something to the effect of, "đ€ Actually, Shmi Skywalker was never meant to be an important character, just the catalyst of a coming of age story for Anakin, so all of the discourse around her is really unnecessary and overdone, and actually, no one should talk about her."
To that, my response would be, "Then it's certainly convenient how Shmi only brought up in defenses of the Jedi as yet another way to shame Anakin, with no one actually taking the time to consider the tragedy of her situation. And also, stop encouraging viewers to overlook narrative misogyny in media, especially in this film trilogy where the female lead gives up and dies of a broken heart and there's only one female Jedi who ever has a speaking role (and that's just in one scene and then no lady Jedi ever speaks again)."
What pisses me off sometimes is that many of the people in this fandom already understand attachment but just choose to not use that understanding for the Jedi.
Like. If you werenât completely confused by Shuriâs arc in the new Black Panther you understand attachment.
If you understood why elenore let chidi leave in the finale of the good place, you understand attachment.
In fact I can think of like eight super hero movies where attachment (and learning to let go of it) is the KEY conflict.
Attachment is not a hard concept to grasp at all. âLetting goâ is NEVER portrayed as a bad thing in media. Like. Never. Especially when itâs about letting go of a loved one who died instead of getting revenge.
When people watch a super hero movie and the super hero starts acting like a villain and a side character goes âyouâve got to let her goâ I never find paragraphs on tumblr about how the hero should have kept acting like a villain and that side character was the real bad guy.
Itâs just that the Jedi donât struggle with it. The Jedi already practice attachment. Theyâre already at peace. And since Anakin has been a Jedi for so long and has given no real indication of struggling (I mean they donât know about his secret wife), they just tell him to practice attachment and think thatâs enough. Bc he should already know.
And when people say they shouldnât have expected this of Anakin bc he wasnât raised a Jedi⊠the Jedi are not the only ones who donât act on attachment. The first person to explain attachment in the movies is Shimi Skywalker. She lets Anakin go and live a better life bc she is not attached to him. She tells him to not look back. This is the woman who raised Anakin. He was raised in a no-attachment household. He has no excuse. He was always taught about attachment. He knew what he was doing was wrong. He did it anyway.
Anakin was not confused by attachment. And neither is the audience really. There are so many stories about how attachment is bad, Lucas just calls it by its name. People choose not to like the Jedi bc they donât find them interesting. Which is fine I suppose, but if you donât like the Jedi bc the sith aesthetic is more your speed, just say that. Stop pretending you donât understand a very common moral conflict.
#my meta#anakin skywalker#shmi skywalker#so pissed at the people who only acknowledge shmi to defend the jedi and encourage others to ignore her the rest of the time
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well. i finished tua.
let's go. my thoughts:
viktor's wig was shitty, like seriously, you couldn't put in any effort? at first i thought his coming out was done shittily too, but it got better. i'm good with it now, even though i had some issues at the beginning. i mean, the wardrobe change really wasn't necessary AT ALL. but i digress.
this season was really fucking trippy. reggie is a cockroach himself, he just can't fucking stay dead. i despise him.
the end of ep 9 left me hysterical and the end of episode 10 left me exhausted.
I CANT BELIEVE THEY FUCKING KILLED STAN AND NO ONE FUCKING CARES???? LIKE NOTHING AT ALL??? JUST BECAUSE HE ISNT ACTUALLY YOUR KID DOESNT MEAN YOU DIDNT LOVE HIM LIKE HE WAS DIEGO AND YET YOURE JUST LIKE OOPSIE HES DEAD GODDAMN
luther and sloane were ok. not anything special, but at least it's not like allison and luther. that scene where allison does that shit, ugh my god. SKY YOU FUCKING LIAR THEY KISSED TWICE AND THE SECOND TIME WAS TRAUMATIZING
poor allison. i feel so bad for her.
well im not that surprised by klaus's immortality, but i got scared in episode 10. mostly the "void" was in full color, so i thought that meant he was dead dead. but no. apparently NOT HAVING A BODY doesn't matter and they ended episode 9 like they did to TRAUMATIZE US
harlan deserved so much better, so did fei and jamie and alphonso and christopher and marcus and-
omg grace was so fucking creepy it took them way too long to kill her
ben. ben ben ben ben ben i want to smack you.
ok so they went to this 'reverted' timeline, where everything has been tailored to allison and reg's wishes. so why is ben there and sloane isn't? why is sparrow ben there and not umbrella ben? or why is ben there at all? who chose him to be in their choice timeline? we know they could've brought back the dead, luther is an example. so why do we have sparrow ben?
im so exciteddddd we get more ray screen time, i missed himmm <333 and also we get to see allison get even more traumatized next season, but hopefully less angry
omg i cant wait for lila and diego to be parents that'll be great. and how long has it been since lila left diego? im assuming she lied when she said it'd been over a decade, but if she wasnt then the kid isn't diegos. im guessing that she isnt tho.
i wonder if they'll be allowed a choice in whether or not they want their powers back next season. we know who does want their powers back, but diego and lila seemed pretty happy without that supernatural pressure on them. also are they gonna face off with whoever created the universe? is god the villain?
im so excited to have finished bc NOW I CAN GO THROUGH THE TUA TAG WITHOUT SPOILERS <33333
it's official. season 2 is my favorite season
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Gloves & Dittany (Teaser) ⣠cyj
⣠pairing: slytherin!yeonjun x gryffindor!reader
⣠genre: fluff, hogwarts!au, idiots-to-lovers (on readerâs part), sorta slice-of-life
⣠teaser wc: 1.1k
⣠final wc: expected 11k+, currently 9k
⣠summary: âSure, your heart might have skipped a beat or two because of Yeonjun, but it was just a momentary flutter, a reaction that didn't hold any significant meaning⊠Right?â
âł Alternatively, where Yeonjunâs flirtatious nature leaves you no choice but to doubt his evident feelings for you and, in turn, dismiss any emotions you may be developing for him
⣠warnings?: reader is just,,, confused all the time, prob poor attempts of 'flirting' bc idk how to flirt, side characters may potentially be more entertaining than the mains, otherwise nothing really!
âŁan: first long yeonjun ficccc,, I'm excited! this has been sitting in my docs for so long too,,, the teaser might be a bit boring just cause i don't want to give it all away just yettttâit's just an intro to the pair!
⣠tags: @flowerjun (let me know if you want to be tagged!)
Over the years you've spent at Hogwarts, your love for Herbology has blossomed into a deep passion. Contrary to what your peers say about the class being boring and useless, you believe they couldn't be more wrong. Herbology is an underrated and misunderstood subject that offers unique elements not found in other classes.
At first glance, certain plants looked welcoming, but from what youâve learned, the most attractive herbs can be the most deadliest. This could even work the other way around. Growth patterns of the plants can directly affect its magical properties, which explains why the professors created emphasis on the care for plants.Â
Although Herbology looked like any other ordinary subject at Hogwarts, there were a lot more layers to its content. You suppose this was the reason why you grew to love the subject.
âWhatâs the difference between you and those flowers over there?â
Enter Choi Yeonjun. The main reason why advanced Herbology isn't the perfect class for you, and you mean that in the kindest way possible. Yeonjun is something else. While you hope to simply enjoy the class, he sees it as an opportunity to engage in endless conversation. You once joked with him that his voice could win a competition against a mandrake for being the most ear-piercing, but, surprisingly, he took no offense to this.Â
To make matters worse, a significant portion of his chatter is dedicated to shamelessly flirting with you. Despite months of this routine, he always finds new ways to keep things interesting, and you have to admit, it's quite impressive.
It was strange how all this had even started. You and Yeonjun were only familiar with each other because he was childhood friends with your fellow house member, Changbin. But after an encounter with the pair at Hogsmeade, Yeonjun started becoming quite adamant about making his presence known to you. And regardless of his motives and advances, youâve, since then, been choosing not to indulge in his actions.
If you were given a knut every time someone asked you why you never gave him a chance, youâd be rich. Hell, youâd be bathing in galleons if you did, because this was Choi Yeonjun we were talking about. The one and only Choi Yeonjun who could practically steal hearts without the use of some silly charm pulled straight out of a textbook. He was reasonably one of the most attractive guys in the entirety of Hogwarts and his personality was one to adore, so you werenât surprised with the persistent interrogation of those interested in him.
Though every question was worded differently, each one becoming more and more creative than the last, you hit them with the same, lazy explanation that you knew never left them satisfied.
âI just donât see him in that way.âÂ
Yeonjun stands by your side, hands comfortably nestled in gloves, which completely disregards Professor Longbottom's instructions that the gloves were not necessary for today's class. He looked ridiculous being the only one wearing the heavy-duty gloves. You hold back a laugh as your gaze follows his pointing finger, which leads you to a cluster of asphodels.
You look up at him, âOne is an accessory to a deadly sleeping potion.â Youâre cleaning up your area, making sure dirt is only where it was supposed to be.Â
âY/N, câmon~â Yeonjun whines, âJust play along.â
âOkay,â you huff, âWhat is it?âÂ
Yeonjun stands quietly for a short moment, lips pressed together, âNow you made me forget what I was going to say, but it was something about you being pretty.â Yeonjun turns to put some pots away, leaving you unamused.
Although Yeonjun continues to make such advances, you admit that his playful personality was endearing. Just a few months ago, you regarded Yeonjun as nothing more than an annoyance, constantly looming around even when unwelcome, sort of like a wedgie. However, as time passed, you couldn't deny the odd bond that had formed between the two of you.Â
Just recently, you had reluctantly admitted to yourself that heâs grown on you to the point where you realize that the day would feel incomplete without his babbling. On a good day, you might even consider him your friend.
When Yeonjun returns, he flashes you a smile, âDo you have any plans for the weekend? Maybe I can take you to Hogsmeade.â He bends down slightly and reaches out, âYou have a bit of dirt on your nose.â You feel his finger graze your nose for a quick second before itâs back at his side.Â
âIâm afraid I already do,â you hummed. Since the period has ended, you grab your belongings and take your leave. With no surprise, Yeonjun is trailing closely behind you.Â
Yeonjunâs lips were moulded into some sort of pout, brows furrowed, âMaybe the week after?âÂ
âI have plans that week, too,â you say promptly, though you werenât even entirely sure if you did, âSorry, Yeonjun.âÂ
Yeonjun narrows his eyes at you but you donât catch him doing so. Instead, youâre dead set on finding your best friend Yena by the courtyard. Before Yeonjun could let out a sigh, he takes a big step forward and spins so that heâs facing you. Yeonjun executes this with ease. Heâs quick on his feet and the next thing you know youâre walking into his chest.Â
âDonât apologize.â Yeonjun grabs your wrist and swiftly pulls you to the edge of the hallway so you both aren't blocking the stream of students, âThereâs always another weekâŠâ He pushes his lips towards one side of his face, eyes looking to the side. He was deep in thought, âMaybe you can come to the final game of the season? I know your house isnât playing but it would be nice to have the support⊠Iâll even let you wear one of my extra uniforms⊠maybe some facepaint?â Yeonjunâs eyes light up at the thought.Â
âYeonjun,â you say sternly.Â
âAs a friend?â Yeonjunâs head is tilted to the side, brows knitting as he brings his lips into a pout, âPlease?â His eyes pour into yours, making it hard for you to avoid his gaze. Heâs waiting intently on a reply.Â
âIâll⊠think about it,â You stall.Â
Yeonjun smiles, satisfied with your answer. Before he speaks up once again, he hears his name being called from across the hall. It was Wooyoung.Â
âIâll see you later, beautiful~âÂ
You groan and call out before youâre out of earâs reach, âWhat did I tell you about pet names, Choi Yeonjun!âÂ
Yeonjun turns to acknowledge you, but instead of saying anything to excuse himself, he sends you a wink before reaching his friend.Â
As expected.
°âą. âż .âąÂ°
pls remember that this is a teaser and I'll be posting the full fic soon! thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist!
#Txt#tomorrow x together#choi yeonjun#Yeonjun#choi yeonjun x reader#yeonjun x reader#yeonjun fluff#yeonjun imagines#yeonjun scenarios#yeonjun blurbs#tomorrow x together imagines#txt imagines#txt scenarios#txt fluff#txt blurbs#txt x reader#Kpop#kpop imagines#kpop scenarios#kpop blurbs#my writings
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DRABBLE: an office with a view @pcachdrunk tagging u bc AGAIN thIS is ur fault and i am not to blame for the ember u turned into a fire.
He was sure he was this close to finding clumps of hair in the bathtub with his stress levels and blood pressure climbing with every day's new trouble. The rumors of a surviving princess to quell, the in-house competition for the deputy commissioner's seat amongst all the other issues at hand (bread lines, riots, and of course riots IN the bread lines) in their fair Leningrad. Commissioner Kozlov was going to leave his position soon. they all knew it. he was getting older, tired and impatient with the dealings of the bustling lively city. a war hero and revolutionary at the forefront it was time he retired. now the question was whether gorlinsky would promote one of his own officers or bring in some muskovite to take the lead of the department.
there were many men in the office who could fill the role, but he knew who the competition was. himself, stefan ivanov and anton baranov.
he didn't particularly like his odds.
he knew he was a strong contender. his father had served with gorlinsky and had known him since he was a lanky teen, though it didn't help much as he knew the man didn't care for him. still he was the most decorated of the triumvirate and had been stationed at the frontlines during the great war and had returned home to liberate his country from imperial rule. an event that still stole precious nights worth of sleep that kept him up with the empty reassurances that it was for the best. he knew he had the respect of the office because he always showed them respect in turn, trusting their skills and abilities as he saw them but-
-but there was stefan ivanov.
much like him in many ways. a general in his own right. served in the war without as many accolades, but he received a different sort of respect. a near reverence with the officers and other workers in the office that seemed something more stifling. he couldn't remember ever seeing the man laugh, but there were times that he caught stefan smile in his own stoic way. however it was known that he and gorlinsky skated one another on thin ice as the two had some pre-established loathing before ivanov was transferred to the leningrad division. his chances at it were low, but they were still there. where stefan ivanov lacked in personality he made up for it with a perfectionism that made his own demand for detail pale in comparison. ivanov was always ahead of schedule and prepared for near anything that could go wrong.
and then lastly there was the newest of them. anton baranov.
he had what both he and stefan lacked. charm. popularity and certain lighthearted energy that hadn't been squashed in the revolution. he too had served in the war though he hadn't been at the front the way he and ivanov had or commanded units of men into the foray as he did. still there was a certain quality to this muskovite transfer that drew people to his electric personality that gleb knew if anton had requested something of anyone in the office that they'd all do so eagerly for him. even gorlinsky had seemingly fallen for baranov's ease and charm as he seemed to be the favorite. nepotism was an unfortunate factor in politics even in their new regime. which was why he found every opportunity to be helpful, to stay ahead of cases and to continue to find ways to stand out.
"any word from gorlinsky?" gleb asked his secretary. a brunette young woman with forest green eyes and a soft smile.
there were moments he doubted he could trust her. elisabeth ivanov, liesel to everyone in the office, and the sister to his right hand and competition, stefan ivanov. but if he was honest he knew she had never failed him and that part of the reason he was as solid a choice for the role was that she kept pace with him in his endeavors. he had asked her once if she hoped her brother got the commissioner's seat some weeks ago and he was stunned by the honest response.
"i'm not sure that's where he belongs." the steam from the tea softening her neat hairdo as pieces slipped into a soft curl near her eyes. he felt his stomach twist for a moment, unsure if it was her words or that look that made him anxious. either way he managed a nod in response before dismissing her to catch up on other work he had already assigned to her.
but now she just offered him an apologetic smile and sad shake of her head. "nothing, but i heard from a friend that works in his building that he's been locked in his office for hours this morning. they think he'll make his decision sometime today."
his fingers combed through his hair, sweeping it back as an exhausted sigh released and he nodded quietly at the news. by this afternoon someone would be named the next deputy commissioner once kozolov finished his term and he couldn't be sure it was going to be him. he could feel the excitement and gossip in the office as rumors swirled and bets were taken on who would be up for the role. he knew there was a betting pool because he was offered a chance to join in on it by his only real friend in the office, but it wasn't surprising if anyone knew ruslan essen. brash, loud and dedicated he found himself counting his friends and realizing it only took one hand to do so.
"notify me the second you hear of any other news." was the quiet request as she nodded then in an unexpected gesture put her hand on his arm.
"you'll be the first to know. i promise." she squeezed his arm ever so briefly before sweeping out of the area to do just that. search and listen for any information.
which left him to do what he always did best. work. throw himself headlong into his work sorting through paperwork, overseeing orders, covering another officer's beat to stretch anxious limbs before returning to a hot cup of tea brough by liesel as he settled in for more paperwork. he never thought that in his role here in leningrad that he'd have so many papers to sort through, but that was the role thus far. he tried to remind himself that he might not want the commissioner's seat after all. it would mean more paperwork. less being amongst the other officers. it meant separation and loneliness as the division leader. it meant possibly never seeing her again. the frightened little street sweeper. he had walked several shifts since he last saw her, but hadn't glimpsed the girl with the broom again. if he became deputy commissioner he'd probably never walk a beat again unless he insisted on it and by then there were bigger issues to focus on than his desire to meet her again. still he couldn't shake the strange tightness in his chest at the memory of her. though he supposed it was for the best that he focused on what he could have rather than what he could lose like-
Liesel quickly rushed into his corner of workspace, flushed and shaking before meeting his eyes. immediately he rose from his seat, unthinkingly taking her arm to tug her into a back hallway that was thankfully empty. she had an envelope held in both hands extended to him which he took carefully from her.
"i'll let you read it while i step out and get some tea." she said quietly turning to leave once the envelope was in his hand, but he reached to hold her wrist.
"no. please." he said throat tight and dry. "just stay. you might as well know with me. you can be the first to congratulate your brother."
words he didn't expect echoed softy from her. "gorlinsky is a fool if he put anyone in that position other than you."
"i suppose its time we find that out then-" he sighed then braved tearing open the envelope to read the note that had been signed & written by gorlinsky's hand. words were read and reread again and again from top to bottom as he blinked in disbelief. dark eyes lifted from the words to liesel's worried eyes while he croaked out the words in shaky breathless relief. "i've been awarded the seat."
her face lit up in delight as he continued laugh in utter disbelief, one hand rubbing his face as he tried to let the relief wash over him. "you were?! congratulations-!"
it was a strange moment as the rush of emotions swarmed him. relief. happiness. responsibility. sobriety and hope. something like pride because his hard work had been vindicated. he wondered if he had in some way made his father proud, but something about that thought made his stomach turn with a wave of nausea and instead he pushed that thought away to focus on the good. he had gotten the promotion. why had he gotten the promotion he wondered, but he knew he could think on that later. right now with the paper in his hand did he reach out to take liesel's for a moment sharing in their relief as a thought crossed his mind.
"i'll be requesting that you stay on as my personal secretary. will that be alright with you?"
he wasn't expecting the tears in her eyes as she nodded in response happily replying. "i'd be honored, deputy commissioner vaganov."
he laughed. "that will take some getting used to hearing." liesel only shook her head at him before gently pulling her hands from his as he realized that he was still holding on. quickly he set about straightening his uniform as his next thoughts followed with the announcement. "i suppose i should let the others know."
the brunette smiled as delight glimmered in jade eyes. "ruslan will be so pleased that he won the bet."
"hm, maybe we can delay the news a little bit then. ruslan pleased is a dangerous thing." their laughter mingled in the empty hallway as the office chatter in the distance continued on for the anxious announcement of their future commissioner.
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Fix your eyes and get up // Bo Sinclair x Almond
Summary: You've been hurt one too many times by a very close friend of yours and on this night, you just want someone else to take care of you. Just for once. Just for a change. Bo is an asshole, everyone knows it, but he's not THAT much of an asshole, and he's there for you even before you know that you need him to be... it's what puts him a cut above the rest.
A/N: written for @houseofdabs đ„ș I hope that you feel better soon, Almond! Know you're loved & you deserve better.đžđShe/they pronouns used (I used your bio & stalked your blog for some infođ)
TW; friendship conflict (unresolved in the piece) between reader & a nameless faceless friend they have, swearing (in the narrative bc I'm a sailor I guess lmfao), reader has a complicated romantic relationship with Bo (took inspo from some of Almond's tags).
Word count: 1, 517.
You didn't like to cry in front of others, so you just didn't.
It didn't matter how upset you were. You could have the absolute worst sickly lump in your throat, the most horrible ache in your jaw from clenching it in an effort to keep yourself from crying out, a stinging in the back of your nose and in your eyes, and you would not cry.
Not until you were alone.
It was one of the things which Bo most admired about you; your ability to go on no matter how badly you were feeling. That didn't mean that he liked it when you were upset, because he didn't. He fucking hated it and so often he caught himself wanting to kill whatever or whomever was upsetting you so, but he knew well from a lifetime of trying to do the same that emotions couldn't be killed. They could only be channelled, they could only be paid attention to and put at ease by being expressed in whichever way they asked you to. Bo couldn't kill your emotions and he wouldn't want to, either, because that would take away from who you were and he didn't want to do that.
Bo loved you so much that it hurt him in the best of ways and most of all, he admired you for your capacity for kindness and goodness no matter what. Kindness wasn't easy; it was a deliberate and conscious choice which had to be made each and every time there was an opportunity for it, but that was where its power lay. Of the world had Bo only seen Ambrose and yet he knew how cold and callous it could be, how underhanded and awful humans could be, but you were like a light to him with the way you loved like your life depended on it.
People gravitated towards you for that. You were the mum friend, the one who would drop what you were doing to listen to other people, suspecting that they wouldn't do the same for you in your hour of need but hoping for such all the same. Even friends you had known for years, friends who you seemed to speak to only in a pattern of a few months at a time, treated you like that, and Bo absolutely hated to see you beaten and downtrodden by those who ought to have known better. In Bo's world, a favour handed out was a favour owed, and he considered these people whom you spoke to on a regular basis to owe you the same kindnesses you had always and without thought given to them.
Alas, Bo's world was Ambrose; he very rarely properly left town and he had certainly never gone further than just a few towns over, so his worldview was very rarely reflective of the world that you knew. You had not lived such a sheltered life (though Bo was not naive; he had seen more of the world and its cruelties than any person ever should, let alone at so young an age) and you knew that things didn't always work that way. A healthy, genuine friendship was give and take, with each person deciding every day to put in as much effort as they wanted to in order to maintain the friendship and to remain in the other person's lives. But Bo hadn't ever really known friendship - you weren't his first friend (that honour went to his brothers, and definitely Vincent more so than Lester), and so when he came home this night to find you torn up and upset over the way one of your friends had been treating you, he was livid.
Bo wasn't an idiot. He was emotionally intelligent, and he only needed one look at you to understand that you were upset. He suspected that it was because of some troubles with your friends - this wasn't the first time it had happened, and it sure as shit wouldn't be the last, much to his annoyance - and so he kept his posture casual despite the undercurrent of ice in his eyes and in his tone. "Wha's bitin' at'cha, darlin'?" He moved through the front door, closing it behind him before he took off his boots, his baseball cap, and his outer jacket. The boots and cap were haphazardly discarded to the floor, but the jacket was hung up on the rack and his keys were chucked into the wooden bowl on the sideboard.
You sighed, "It's my friends."
Bo scoffed and mumbled, "I figured." He meant it not as an insult, only to say that he recognised the patterns of your upset. This seemed to happen every few months and he was as sick of it as you were. You deserved better, Bo knew, but he couldn't make your choices for you. He could only comfort you and support you in his own way.
You shot him a glare, his tone sharper than either of you would have liked, but he shrugged with one shoulder, as if to apologise despite the fact that you both knew he didn't mean it and you continued. "I'm just so embarrassed to have feelings, Bo. It's like, I'm always there for everyone, especially my friend who I've known for years now, but people never reciprocate the gesture and I'm tired of it. I know it shouldn't be done just to get it back, that's not how being there for people works, but... I just wish one person just once would be there for me the way I am for them."
Bo gave you a long, heavy look as he reached the sofa. In one fluid, confident movement which told truths of how many times he had sat down with you like this, so comfortable was he, he sat down beside you and slung an arm around your shoulder, his fingers splaying across your upper arm as he pulled you into his side. This was to be a serious conversation and you readied yourself for the unpredictable chaos that was Bo Sinclair (and, oh, how you loved him as much as you hated him). "Y'mean... like m'here for ya' right now, huh?" He raised a strong dark eyebrow at you challengingly and your breath caught in your throat. Fuck, he was always so intense.
Your irritation with your friend was smoothed somewhat by Bo's words and you smiled. It was a sad smile, but a smile nonetheless and Bo considered that a win. "Yeah, like you... honestly, you and your brothers are the only people who're always here, whether you know it or not." Bo's mouth turned downwards and you sunk a bit deeper into his side. He cursed under his breath and tugged you closer to him as he nosed your dark hair out of the way and rested his forehead against the junction between the warm column of your neck and your shoulder.
"I got'cha, Almond, promise. Me and m'brothers are always gonna' be 'ere for yer. Ain't nothin' like family, even when we fight." Bo chuckled, a sound tinged in hysteria which made you wince as much as it made you laugh, so dual was Bo. Warm, soft lips pressed kisses to the skin it was closest to and Bo's arms wrapped even tighter around you. It was an awkward hug given that you were sat down beside each other but Bo somehow made it work; just as he did with everything he set out to do. "I hope yer know y'deserve better'n that, darlin'. Ain't right, how they treat'cha given all the things y'do for 'em. Don't matter if's once or twice," Bo shook his head, running out of words but wanting you to understand. "S'not right. Should fuckin' know better."
There was Bo's worldview again. You always took it with a pinch of salt, though you understood the core of what he was saying and it did cheer you up. You were worth more, loved more, than the way your friends made you feel sometimes, but even if they couldn't or wouldn't always see it, Bo absolutely would, and he would always be there to remind you of that.
"I don't mind it," You shrugged. Bo gave you an incredulous scoff. "I don't! I just wish people would return the favour, you know? I'm so used to being there for others but so rarely is someone there for me, and it hurts." You shrugged but Bo saw what you were stopping yourself from saying. He tipped his head back and pressed a tender, lingering kiss to your temple. He had very little left to say, which was just as well because he figured showing you that he was there for you was better than saying something he already had.
"I get it, darlin'," Bo shrugged this time but you knew he was telling the truth. He meant what he said and said what he meant, "How 'bout y'jus' sit 'ere wit' me an' we watch sumthin' together? Y'can talk or whatever y'want, jus' stay wit' me. I got'cha."
He did, and he does.
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Heâs Leaving (FNTO 2)
They werenât kidding when they said everything you touch turns into a mess.
Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader
Genre/Tags: strangers to friends to lovers, popstar/idol!jk, fluff, angst, future smut; this is a dialogue-heavy series so read if youâre into that! JKâs angry in this oneÂ
Warnings: foul language, these characters talk alot bc I talk alot, eventual smut
Word count: ~12,000
Series summary: You meet pop star/idol Jeon Jungkook at the cafe, you get close, and as Hyejin says, youâre like friends with benefits without the sex. But youâre bad at feelings and so is he.
series masterlist
A/N: This takes place 7 months after that night Y/Nâs ex shows up! Italicized parts refer to past events. And since Iâd mentioned this was initially for Harry, I remember now that Home by 1D was my mood for this, so listen to it as soundtrack (getting emotional while listening to it & thinking about how this ends)! Â
#
Heâs leaving.Â
You stare blankly at the wall dividing your living room and bedroom and say the words once more, in your head and then out of your mouth. Â
Heâs leaving.Â
You say it over and over again, alternating between question and statement.Â
Jungkookâs leaving.Â
âYes, Y/N, thatâs what I just said.â Jimin mutters over the phone.
âBut why? I mean, since when does he leave ahead of all of you guys?â
âHe decided to schedule a meeting with one of the producers heâs working with for his mixtape. It isnât with your cousin, though, otherwise Jieun wouldâve told you,â Jimin responds.
Itâs the first week of August and the first show of the next leg of their world tour isnât until a week from now, but Jungkookâs already headed to L.A. and he didn't even tell you about it. In fact, he hasn't said a word to you in the last five days, which is oddly surprising.Â
âHe hasn't spoken to you?â Jimin asks, picking up on your thoughts. Perhaps your silence gave away the frustration you were feeling.Â
âNope,â you reply, the sadness in your voice unmistakable.Â
âI hope you don't think Iâm one of those people whoâs gotten so attached to him that being ignored for five days feels like the end of the world⊠because it really isnât. Iâm just worried and confused,â you continue.Â
You arenât blind. Jungkookâs surrounded by women, some vying for his attention, some wanting it back. Theyâd act out either way, displeasing him although heâd never say it out loud, but you were pretty sure you werenât one of them. Right?
âHey, of course not! As both of your friends, even Iâm surprised. You two are like, inseparable, long-distance buddies,â he claims. âBut to tell you the truth, I have no idea whatâs going on either. Are you sure you didn't fight for real this time?âÂ
No real fights, you say. Your arguments about who has better smelling detergent or your choice of movie to watch or him stealing your oversized sweatshirts were as far as you two went. You often had serious talks, but when you didn't see eye to eye, you always just agreed to disagree, and then it was back to petty fights and annoying each other like little kids again.Â
âIâve to head out now, Y/N. Iâm sorry I couldn't help, but I hope you two patch things up! Just call if you need anything,â Jimin says after a few more back and forth of questions and answers about how the past week or so has been, just to pick up on any clues as to why things just suddenly came to a halt. You put your phone away and sit on the couch.
A few months ago, it probably wouldn't have mattered if he didn't text or call for a day or a week. You couldn't even truly come to terms with the fact that youâve become good friends with Jeon Jungkook, the âgolden maknaeâ and self-proclaimed international playboy of the biggest band in the world who has the unenviable position of being half the female populationâs (and a good fraction of the maleâs as well) dream everything.Â
It amazed you how this oversized-clothes wearing boy with a bunny smile and doe eyes and who liked to talk to insects and impersonate chickens and act out Ironman fight scenes could arouse the sexual musings of individuals of all genders and ages. But then again, he does have that mellifluous voice and has this tendency to hump the air and dance wildly enough to reveal his abs, so you do understand the collective reaction.
For a high profile celebrity like him, it seems natural to be drawn to people from the same industry, for romance purposes or otherwise. Much of it has to do with the fact that they get the lifestyle, as his other band mates have shared, some of whom having dated fellow pop stars and models. But you arenât from the same circle, or clique, or planet. While youâre your universityâs star athlete, volleyball isnât religion here, so there isnât any âlifestyle changeâ of some sort.Â
Before Jungkook, your only window to celebrity life was through Jieun, your LA-based music producer of a cousin. Yet, youâve always been wary of the spotlight, and those who loved it too much, which is why it baffled you for quite a while why you were so fond of Jungkook. He loved the spotlight enough to make his job look so easy, but he felt real â so real you almost thought he wasn't.Â
#
The midway mark of September has rolled in. Once the celebrations of your championship win over the summer were over, it was back to focusing on work and school. Youâve started your probationary period at a research institute, and youâre riding out your fifth year of university after your senior year knee injury left you out of school for a month and out of the graduation rites. This meant a chance to actually win the championship, which you did, and to appease your ever growing interest in gender studies, you decided to take up a minor program too.Â
Itâs 8 am on a Monday and youâre enjoying your iced americano at Annieâs, your auntâs cafĂ© that she lets you run to help sustain your lifestyle. You monitor the daily operations, which means checking up on it everyday, and since class isnât until nine, you always have your breakfast here.Â
Your back is turned to the door and youâre packing up your stuff, laughing at something Woojin, your cafĂ© manager, is saying.Â
You stand up, swing your bag strap to your right shoulder and without paying attention, turn to your left to head out. Except instead of going for the door, you go for a body instead. The next thing you know, youâre massaging the right side of your forehead because holy crap this person has a knife for a chin, or a shoulder, or whichever part of the personâs body hit you.Â
âOw!â
âI. Am. So. Sorry,â the person says. His voice is low and raspy, sleepiness still evident in it, and he says those words as if each is a sentence on its own. âAre you alright?âÂ
By this time it has registered. You are looking up at the man who made your then-65 year old Grandma shriek. But that was last year and you bet if she were still alive now, sheâd do the same, probably even louder.Â
You could hear customers enjoying their morning coffee whisper quite loudly âIs that Jeon Jungkook?!â And then it registers again. Yep, it is.
Eyes wide, you tell him that âgood thing I donât have coffee or that pretty white shirt of yours wouldâve been messed up.âÂ
Really, thatâs what you say?Â
God, you sound so stupid, so you bat your eyelashes and put on a smile, as if that would save you the embarrassment. He grins.
âYeah, good thing you didn't,â he says, letting out a little laugh.
You smile again, a bit awkwardly though, just to acknowledge his appreciation of you not ruining his Monday morning. As youâre about to step to your left to go for the door this time, he furrows his eyebrows. âYou look familiar. Have I seen you somewhere?âÂ
Well, you know where youâve seen him, but you don't say that. Instead, you mumble âprobably in your dreams?â Again, what?Â
He laughs again, this time more loudly. Youâre amused at the child-like tone of his laugh, a complete contradiction to his toned body and tattooed arm. Your eyes travel up. Right, that was his shoulder you hit, you realize.
This is such a turn-off. Why does he keep laughing at stupid things?Â
âThat sounded different in my head. It wasn't supposed to be a pick-up line if ever you thought so,â you clarify.Â
âNo I didnât, but thanks for confirming,â he says. You notice him smirking.
âWell, that settles it, then. Bye!â You wave, and you go for the door, for real this time.Â
It was an interesting way to start the week. You rarely have VIPs entering your cafĂ©, especially in this quiet part of town, and so itâs quite a surprise to have him check it out. Whatâs even more surprising is seeing him there again the next day.
Your back isnât to the door this time, but youâre zoned in on the paper youâre working on, eyes focusing on the laptop screen. Itâs only when you momentarily look up and see Woojin preoccupied and seemingly distressed on the phone that you hear someone say, âexcuse meâ with his inked hand up that you realize your VIP is back. You stand up, approach him, and ask what he wants to order.
Jungkookâs face lights up. âWell, good morning, dream girl,â he greets. You flinch at the thought of what you said the day before implied.Â
âPlease donât,â you plead, before exploding into laughter. âNot my best moment, eh?âÂ
He smiles again, shaking his head as if agreeing to what you just said.
âWhat do you want to order?âÂ
âSo⊠Annie?â He diverts.
You arenât sure if youâre happy that asking for your name means he wonât have to call you dream girl again, or embarrassed because now there would be a name to the face.Â
âAnnieâs my aunt, but I help run the place. Itâs Y/N.â
âAnd Iâm Jungkook,â he says, putting out his hand, as if you don't know who he is, which actually impresses you. Youâve heard of famous people's tendencies to act like everyone knows them, making them forego the courtesy of introducing themselves properly. You shake his hand, a little calloused but soft nonetheless. âThis is Sejin. He told me about this place and how good it is,â he continues.
âWhich is why youâre here for the second day this week?â you ask, fishing for some feedback on your food.Â
âI wanted to get back at the girl who wouldâve spilled coffee on my shirt yesterday. Turns out this place has some great food as well,â he says, a smile creeping onto his face. You arenât quite sure what to make of this.Â
You insist on their orders, suggest your bestsellers, and turn it over to the kitchen. As youâre about to head back to your seat, he says, âI remember where I know you from!â You look at him, curious.Â
âYouâre Jieunâs cousin! She always posts about you,â he excitedly claims.Â
You nod. Of course, Jieun. You couldâve figured that out and told him yesterday instead of the dream girl thing.Â
âRight. Jieun,â you start. âShe sucks up to me like that to convince me to visit her in L.A.,â you explain. You try to keep your voice steady. You donât want to give the impression that having this conversation with him is already the most interesting part of your week, even if it is. Who gets to say that Jeon Jungkook recognizes their face anyway?
âYou donât like L.A.?â He asks curiously.
âItâs just not my cup of tea,â you respond, angling your body to move towards your table, but facing him still. Youâre glad that the morning rush has ended and there arenât many people in the cafe who minds enough that youâre talking to Jeon Jungkook.Â
âThen what is?â he asks, arms crossed against his chest, looking genuinely curious.Â
You let out a laugh. âJasmine, chamomile. Lemongrass on some days,â you say. âWeâve got good ones you should try,â you tease.Â
You arenât the type to spill things about you that easily, and he picks this one up. He nods and smiles. The only other thing he says to you before you leave is that the food is good, and that heâd âsee you around.âÂ
Of course he would, because for the rest of the week, he kept going back, right around the same time as youâre there. This isn't new, of course. You have so many customers who come everyday at a particular time â right before school or work or just part of their daily routine. But he didn't fit the profile of a regular customer, but you also could admit it was nice to see a fresh face around.Â
Itâs Thursday of that week when he tells you âI have meetings and stuff in this area and your foodâs really good,â after you give him a questioning look as to why heâs here again. And itâs the next day when he comes alone, orders jasmine tea for himself and for you, and asks for your number after you talk about Disney movies and the damsel in distress trope. And cats, and how much you hate them.Â
~
You have your back lying on the couch for 10 minutes, debating on whether you should drive to his place and ask whatâs going on, or stay home and settle on phone calls for the next 2 months that heâll be gone for the tour, if heâll even pick them up. Because youâve triedâyouâve called and left messages, not to ask why he hasn't been texting or if anythingâs wrong, but just to crack up jokes that are way funnier than his, or to talk about food. You know, normal things.Â
You like how your texts never start with âgood morningâ and âwhat are you doing?â Theyâre usually along the lines of âsome cat left a paw mark on my car, my day is ruinedâ or âI tripped in front of an old lady and she almost died laughingâ or âwhat movie should I watch if I want to forget I have a shit load of work to doâ or a picture of whatever food you ate that day.Â
Things are never formal with you two. Itâs always very casual that sometimes you forget that his âshowâs about to go on, Iâll talk to you laterâ text means heâs just about to perform in a sold-out stadium in front of thousands of people in Japan or something â like it was no big deal. Or that his âhang on, someone will just talk to meâ is really code for âIâve got an interview,â which you know will be newsflash and then posted all over social media immediately after. You enjoy this bit because it feels so natural, neither of you feel like you have to impress the other.Â
âWill you stop air fucking and pole dancing on the mic stand,â youâd say.Â
âStop talking to me and do your report already,â heâd say.Â
âSeriously, why are your clothes 3 sizes bigger? How much food are you hiding in there?â Youâd laugh over the phone.Â
âYour sweatshirt looks like shit, can I have it?â heâd annoy you, and then proceed to take it home.Â
You like making fun of each other as much as you like talking to each other. Heâs easy to get along with and not pretentious; youâre comfortable to be around and not judgemental. He doesnât have a problem telling you if youâre being too whiny; you don't mind calling him out for being too much of a perfectionist that heâs actually not being productive anymore.Â
Jimin was right when he described you two as inseparable, long-distance buddies â whether it was a night out with friends or a night in doing papers, if it didnât clash with his schedule, you were together. Even if it was a quick take out dinner at 11PMÂ after a long day of practicing, heâd be at your place.
Whenever heâs away on tour, heâd be constantly updating you about fan signs and the food and the weather; similarly, youâd update him on the cafĂ©âs customer of the day or this new e-book youâd discovered or the weird dream you just had. You never feel any sort of pressure or expectation; neither of you feel too attached, despite the amount of time you spend together.Â
Regardless of how your constant texting or hanging out when he was back in Seoul seems like to others, neither of you ever felt like you had to define what you two really are. Thatâs what you always think the reason is as to why it works â it just does because you don't feel like it has to go a specific direction.Â
Despite all that, it still feels odd that he hasnât been returning your calls or even updating you on how his day has been. The longest youâd gone without talking was 3 days, and thatâs with a heads up. The next few months will be crazy for the band, what with the remaining shows of their tour. It isn't like him to just disappear from your life like this.Â
âWhen was the last time you saw him?â your best friend Chaewon asks over the phone when you finally decide to call someone after finding out Jungkookâs leaving.
âHeâs not lost, okay. Heâs just not calling,â you correct her. âBut last week, we went for a drive, he slept over, and that was it. He justâŠâ you trail. You arenât even sure how to describe what just happened.Â
âThen why donât you go over there?â She asks, almost as if itâs the most obvious thing in the world.Â
âI don't know, it might get messy. You know Iâm not good with confrontations.â
âJust go, Y/N. He probably wonât be calling you after heâs left if heâd been dodging you like this.âÂ
Chae hangs up shortly after. You figure she probably doesn't want to hear another one of your excuses. You take your best friendâs advice and head for the door, get in your car, and take the 30-minute drive to his house. Â
#
âI like to leave,â you tell him. You glance to your right where he sits at the passenger seat of your car then look back on the road. You and Jungkook had just spent dinner with your friends at Chaewonâs apartment and you told him you could drive him back to the dorm.Â
He gives you a puzzling look. âIs that some sort of warning that Iâll wake up one day and youâll just be⊠gone?â he asks, eyebrows scrunched up. You could see thereâs a hint of concern on his face.Â
âOh, I meant I like taking trips,â you laugh, realizing the oddity of what you had just said, which was a response to Jaehyun, your other best friend, mentioning you being voted as âmost likely to evaporate into thin airâ in high school.Â
âSome days I wake up and just feel like being someplace else. So I grab my backpack and my trusty map, get into my car, and head out. By myself. Somewhere,â you say, shrugging, like itâs the most natural thing that people do.Â
You describe to him the places youâve seen â the lakes and mountains and fields that many people donât know about, how the sunsets are like from there, how the trees and flowers smell like, how otherworldly they look.Â
Most of the time, when youâre plagued with fear or sadness or doubt, you just leave. Itâs your quick fix, your Band-Aid. You could be gone for a day or over the weekend; sometimes youâd be out for a week and not even your best friends know where you are, just that youâre safe.Â
âBut why?â he asks. You think it was ironic since this is a guy who leaves for a living.Â
âWhen I was younger, we had this class and the teacher asked us to draw an object that represents us. I didn't even have a clear idea of who I was, how could I find the right object to symbolize me? Youâve got to find yourself, thatâs how youâll know, she said. I asked her how. She told me to go look at a map,â you narrate, looking back at that moment when you stared at your teacher trying to figure out if she was kidding or not.Â
âI guess you find yourself in places you don't know. Or you realize who you really are when things get chaotic and you go somewhere far. Or you pull yourself away from the crazy to take a breath and escape some things youâre not really ready to faceâŠâ you state.Â
âI never knew exactly what she meant, but I figured they all made sense,â you continue, slowing down the car as youâre a block away from his place. âYouâll always find a reason to leave.â
âBut does leaving solve any of your problems?âÂ
âNot always, but sometimes the problem is nothing that you leave behind. Sometimes the problem is you.â Youâd thought about the times you came back and felt like a different person with a different perspective on things.Â
You look at him smiling, and you realize heâs been looking at you the whole time. You pull on the brakes, ready to say your goodnight, but he isnât quite finished.
âWhatâs your favorite thing about leaving?âÂ
There are so many things you love about it. You love how it means you have the freedom and capability to do anything you want. You love seeing new scenery, discovering places for the first time, meeting new people and learning their stories. It is such a human thing to want to leave, you think. You like everything about it, even the parts where you get completely lost or rained or snowed on because you werenât prepared.Â
âComing home,â you say.Â
He softens at this, a pleased look on his face.Â
âItâs like youâre gone for awhile and you see things for the first time, but then you drive back and you start seeing the familiar things â the streetlights, the driveways, the parks, the cafes⊠And all those constant things, theyâre still there even when you leave, like theyâre just waiting for you to come back.âÂ
âYou should know that. Youâre always jetting off somewhere new,â you say.Â
âI leave because I have to. Itâs part of the job.â
~
That conversation is ringing in your head the whole car ride to Jungkookâs house. Your knack for driving off is one of those things you never really share with anyone apart from your best friends. You never liked the thought of having to explain yourself to people, especially those you havenât known for long, but with Jungkook, it never felt like you had to explain anything; you were always just sharing pieces of yourself that you knew he appreciated, that he somehow understood.Â
You pull up behind the black SUV parked in front of his place; the same SUV that you know his driver uses to take him to the airport. You turn off the engine and go through the half opened gate, up the steps and through the door.Â
You greet one of the members of his security team as she heads out the door and your eyes immediately turn to the two black duffel bags lying on the floor. Theyâre plump and full of things. You imagine all his black hoodies and sweatpants and leather jackets. You picture the bucket hats all neatly folded and his favorite Balenciaga sneakers tucked in somewhere. It feels weird, standing here at his foyer and just waiting for something to happen.Â
You hear steps skipping down the stairs and his voice, assuring âIâll call you when I get thereâ to someone on the phone.Â
Heâs looking down on it, texting someone who isnât you. He does a double take, probably not expecting to see you standing by his door with a sad and confused look on your face.Â
Youâre fidgety and you feel nervous. You never liked confrontations, even if you were convincing yourself that is not why you came here in the first place. You just want to see how he was doing, maybe ask what heâs been up to, wish him luck on the shows and that youâd see him when he gets back in two months.Â
âY/NâŠâ he starts. âI wasn't expecting you to be here.â
âWhy, because you didnât expect me to know you were leaving because you didn't tell me?â You say too quickly, resolve dissipating, tone and voice betraying you.
He looks taken aback. âDoes it matter that I didnât?â He says defensively, pulling up his duffel bags on a chair and seemingly looking for something inside one of them. You know heâs just distracting himself so he wouldn't have to look at you.Â
âYou go home to your parents for three days and you ask to see me the day before, and now you leave for North America for two months and suddenly it doesn't matter that you donât tell me?â Your voice is getting louder and you immediately wish you hadnât come here at all. It seems like he doesnât want you to be here just the same.Â
âYou didn't even bother returning my calls or texts. And now youâre leaving. Your first show isnât even until a week from now,â you say, crossing your arms. âWhatâs the rush?â
âI have a meeting with a producer,â he responds.
âThat you couldnât do during your free days there?â You snap back. You know this, you know theyâre given some free time and he couldâve easily slipped that in there.
He sighs, knowing he canât get out of this one. âI just want to be away from here, thatâs all,â he says, glancing at you and then back at his bags.Â
âYou mean away from me?âÂ
He continues shuffling things in his duffel. He doesnât even respond. You know it. Heâs leaving because he wants to be away from you.Â
âWhatâs going on, Jungkook? One day weâre laughing our butts off until we fall asleep and the next you just⊠not call at all.â
âI just didn't feel like it, I guess,â he says, zipping one of the bags and adjusting its strap.
This infuriates you.
âWell thatâs nice. It seemed like you always felt like coming over with dinner, keeping me company while I worked, convincing me to go out for drinks, meeting me at the cafĂ© for breakfast but then all of a sudden you donât feel like calling?â You bite back.
Heâs silent for a while, as if finding the right words to say.Â
âYou know what else is nice?â he starts, looking at you. âCalling me to come over on Friday nights when you don't feel like being out, asking me to stay the night and having me sleep next to you, kissing me and then telling me that âthis feels nice and comfortable and funâ and that I really am a great friendâ.â His tone is angry, frustrated, desperate.
You feel your jaw drop open even if itâs closed. You did not see this coming at all. You always felt like you two were on the same page, that you like each otherâs company so much that you prefer staying in on Fridays watching movies or National Geographic. You thought you both understand that sleeping next to each other only means you want to talk and laugh until you fall asleep, which is what happens all the time. You kiss then, which you treat like a goodbye because you donât know if heâll be there when you wake up.Â
âI never thought of you as the selfish and unfair type, but I guess thereâs just too many layers of you that it takes time before this side of you comes out.â He swings both his bags to his right shoulder, hinting that heâs ready to leave, that heâs ready to leave things like this.Â
He starts walking towards the door. âThey werenât kidding when they said everything you touch turns into a mess.â
Your eyes widen in shock. âWhat the fuck, Jeon,â is all you could say. Youâd never seen him this upset. Worse, youâd never seen him this upset at you.
âSo what, I turned us into this big mess and you leave just like that? Like itâs not even worth talking to me about whatever it is youâre feeling?â you ask, following his movements. Heâs halfway out the door by this time.Â
You follow him out, overtake him and make sure he could see your face. âLeaving doesn't always solve problems.â
âWell, Y/N, sometimes it does. Because sometimes youâre not the problem, itâs what you leave behind.â
You look at his face, trying to find pieces of him you thought youâd figured out. He turns away, not wanting to see you like this. You see him soften a little bit, like he didn't mean for things to turn out this way, but you know he isnât going to let up. You have so many questions running through your mind. What did this all mean? Whatâs going to happen now?Â
âItâs sad how when someone you care about tells you exactly what you are to them, you realize at that moment what they are to you, and itâs the complete opposite.âÂ
He turns to look at you this time, his face screaming a kind of sadness youâd never seen before. Youâd talked about him being homesick all these years when heâs out on tour. Heâd shared how the gossip and his negative image have affected him and his relationships. Heâd talked about how difficult it was holding onto things and people that were real, but none of those moments could compare to this one and to this look he has on right now that lets you know heâs upset and it has everything to do with you.Â
Youâre the one heâs leaving behind. Youâre the mess he wants to get away from. Youâre probably the last person he wants to see before flying out because youâre the problem he doesn't want to deal with.Â
âJungkookâŠâ you start, although you have absolutely no idea what you want to say. You look at him, eyes pleading for something, anything.Â
âI have to go,â is all he says. He turns around, clutching his bags over his shoulders, and walks away.
No âsee you aroundâ or âIâll call you soonâ like always. It was just âI have to go,â like it was the period to the past months you two have been hanging out. âI have to go,â like âleaving you is this need I have to fulfill.â âI have to go,â like, âthis is it.âÂ
You watch him walk out the gate. You watch the car drive away. Thereâs always something poetic about watching someone leave. Youâd been used to that growing up. Your parents were always leaving, saving lives in places that needed saving, but you always knew theyâd still be thinking about you and missing you while they were away.Â
But with Jungkook, it was different. You hadnât quite gotten used to him leaving all the time, and right now, you arenât sure heâd be thinking about you or missing you while he was gone.Â
âI have to go,â he said. Like, âIâm leaving. I don't want to stick around. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be with you.â
#
Things donât feel real. Youâve been driving for 30 minutes, unsure where to go, reeling over the conversation you just had with Jungkook, if you could even call it that. Itâs like he just dropped a bomb on you that you didn't know heâd had all this time.Â
There was so much frustration and sadness on his face that morning and you couldn't get the image out of your head. What have you done? You kept asking yourself.Â
But you reason that none of this is your fault. You thought everything was clear between the both of you. Sure, you never really talked about it, but if he was really feeling differently about you, then why didn't he just say something?Â
âIâm heading out,â you say to Jaehyun over the phone. Heâs always the first person you call when you feel like driving off.
âIâm guessing the talk with Jungkook didn't turn out well?â he asks.Â
You donât respond. You donât really want to say anything to your friends about all this until youâve figured things out.Â
âChae told me,â he says, interrupting the silence.Â
âYeah, I figured,â you reply. Information is so fluid between the both of them.
âSo where are you off to?âÂ
âI don't really know, just wherever,â you say, but you know exactly where youâre going. It will just take another hour until you get there.
âAlright, just be safe,â he says, before hanging up.Â
You step on the gas and turn on the music. Anything is better than the silence thatâs ringing in your ears right now. You hum to the tunes of Colde and LeeHi, praying to the heavens you wonât hear Jungkookâs voice on the next song. This is your âfavoritesâ playlist and he had sneakily included some of his bandâs songs one day when you went out to the market to grab some fruits and he stayed at your place watching TV.Â
About 60 minutes later, you reach the place. Itâs en route to a town a couple of miles south of the city. Itâs a turn to the corner, onto a dirt road and a path lined with shrubs and small trees. The entrance to the main beach is right off the highway about a mile away, but youâd discovered this entrance not long ago when you drove off on a Sunday, two days after your ex-boyfriend came knocking at your door months after he broke up with you. It was the first time you spoke since then, and it was also the first time he ever tried to explain himself to you. You remember that trip; it was 7 months ago and it was also the last time youâd been here. Somehow you just felt the pull of this place.Â
You realize later on, as you sit on the shore watching the sky turn purple and orange, that you told Jungkook about this when you were here.Â
You watched the sunset then just like today. It looked so beautiful and so you snapped a picture and sent it to him. He was in Japan at that time for an event. Youâd told him youâd fallen asleep and were just listening to the waves crash on the shore â your favorite sound in the world, youâd said. When it was all over, you decided to call it a day.Â
âIâm driving back now,â youâd told him. âOkay,â he responded, voice tired from the day he had. It was rare for you to talk to anyone when you were out. You felt like a part of home was tugging at you when you did. But Jungkook was away and you just wanted him to see what you were seeing. You felt it was a way for you to tell him that you were fine. He didnât seem convinced when heâd left your apartment that Friday night after Jinyoung visited. The photo you sent of the sunset, and the next one of you lying on the sand, smiling, were enough to convince him that indeed you were.Â
âOkay. Hold on to the feeling once you see the familiar,â heâd said. He knew you loved that feeling. He always said he imagined a smile creeping from the left side of your mouth when you realized you were nearing home.
âYouâre familiar, Jeon,â youâd told him. Â
You liked the idea, that you saw him as something familiar. Youâd only known each other then for a few months but youâd talked as if it had been years. He was away but he still felt constant.Â
âSo are you, Y/L/N,â he replied.Â
You were thinking about this, about him, as the dust settled and the skyâs now a pretty dark blue with tiny hints of burnt orange. The waves still sound majestic, truly something you can never get tired of. You feel the cold autumn air tingle your insides. You close your eyes and breathe in to try to immerse yourself in your surroundings, hoping against hope that something will click and things will make sense.
Youâd spent the whole afternoon here yet you feel like nothingâs changed. He is on the plane to California and youâre still confused. You still have the same questions from last week, from this morning. Heâs still your constant; you just arenât sure if youâre still his.Â
Leaving doesn't always solve problems, you told yourself. You just wished youâd told him one more time. Maybe he wouldâve stayed.Â
#
âWeâre having Spanish,â Chaewon says as you enter her apartment. âAnd youâre late.â She continues, turning to you with slices of apples and oranges in her hands. You could hear the laughter and the cheers from the living room. Nobodyâs minding you because a soccer game is on.Â
You envy their energy â why you agreed to continue to help run the cafe even with a full-time job, you donât know, but itâs starting to take its toll on you and all you want to do is sleep. Jungkook and the guys will soon be in full preparation mode for the start of the tour and your superstar friend, who had now also claimed your own friends, wanted to have dinner with everyone before things got too busy.
âYou cooked?â you ask, returning your gaze to her after looking out on who is already here.
âNope. Take-out. But the Sangria is homemade.âÂ
âTake-out?â you repeat, excitedly, making your way to the table to check on the food.Â
âJungkook wanted Spanish and take-out,â Chaewon confirms, as laughter roars from the living room.Â
You walk over to check on everybody else who all acknowledge your presence with air fist bumps.Â
âSo youâve moved past Chinese and Japanese take-out and have gone for Spanish now, huh, Jeon?â you question. He gives you his signature bunny smile from his seat on the floor. He does that quite often when heâs showing off or after heâs done something nice.Â
âHey, itâs a classy place and I get a discount. And, Chae sounded tired when I called so I took it upon myself to save dinner,â he proudly declares, standing up and motioning towards you. How cocky, you think, but you return his pinch on your cheek with a pinch on his nose.
Dinner is as fun as dinner with your friends always goes, but your hectic schedule that day made you extremely tired. After moving to the couch and a glass of Sangria later, you feel your head spinning and rest it on Jungkookâs shoulder. He notices your tired face, nudges at you and says heâs going to take you home. âThanks, Jeon,â you murmur under your breath. âI promise I wonât puke.â
It takes a few glasses of water and a handful of profiteroles to get you sobered up and ready to head out. He helps you get in his car and you retreat to a semi-fetus position until the next corner.Â
âYouâre really tired, arenât you? Youâre never this quiet during a car ride. Even when youâre drunk you wonât stop talking⊠or singing,â he teases. âOut of tune, I might add.âÂ
You sit up from your sulking position. âSometimes I just want to choke you, you knowâ you remark with a serious face.Â
âDo you want to feel the wrath of my women?â he questions, winking, referring to his army of fans who are protective of him, and for good reason.Â
âTheyâd probably want to do the same, only in a sexual way.â At this he laughs, shaking his head as if to say youâd done it again, teased him like this and made his cheeks blush.
The ride is a quick one for a Thursday night. You feel you haven't made fun of him enough as he pulls the brakes in front of your apartment building and immediately steps out and walks to your side before you could even thank him and say goodbye.Â
He opens the door and pulls you out like itâs routine, although you clearly remember heâd brought you home when you were drunk only twice, one of which was when heâd found you half-naked in your kitchen with a knife, ready to attack him. Since then, Jungkook had made sure to never let you be that drunk again, and always made it a point to feed you sweets so youâd stay awake.Â
Heâs successful though â youâre sober and awake tonight. Youâre just really tired.Â
You unlock your apartment door and he steps in with you, goes straight to your kitchen and makes you tea. He knows that chamomile makes you sleep well, and thatâs exactly what he prepares.
âSo comfortable in my place already, Jeon,â you say after realizing what heâs doing. He just knows in what cupboard your mug is kept, and in which box the chamomile is stored, and how much sugar you put, but then again, he did help you quite a bit organize your kitchenware. He opens a drawer to get aspirin - âJust in case,â he says. You watch him like he had done this many times before.Â
A small smile forms on your lips.Â
âLook, youâre tired and I convinced you to come tonight. If you don't sleep well, youâll wake up in a bad mood and complain to me again that your neighborâs cat is loitering on your steps⊠and then youâll blame me.â
You laugh. For someone who deals with so many people everyday, it amazes you how well he remembers things about you like that.
âI was about to say how I like hanging out with you because you make me coffee or teaâŠâ
âYouâd do the same for me, Y/N, no matter how much you want to stop yourself from doing so.â He winks at you, tastes the tea, and places it on the counter.Â
You sit on the chair and feel the aroma of the tea soothe you. He stands there watching you, pleased with what heâs done. âYou good?â he asks, and you nod behind your mug.
You donât need to be taken care of, youâd told him once. You donât need someone to be looking out for you when youâre drunk and being clumsy, when youâre busy and not eating, when youâre injured and unable to walk properly, when youâre stressed and needed a break.Â
âIf you donât want me here you could always just tell me, you know?â heâd said once. âI wonât take it personally. Weâre good with each other that way.âÂ
But you never asked him to leave. In fact, you always wanted him to stay, always asked him to.
âReady to call it a night?â he questions, after you put down your empty mug.
You look up at him. You could feel your eyes falling and your body aching for a warm shower and your sheets. Itâs been a crazy week and it isnât even over. You want to rest, but you also don't want to be alone.
âCan you stay?â you ask, biting your lip and trying hard to pull off your puppy eyes so heâd say yes.Â
âSure,â he says. He didnât wait for an explanation. He didnât need one. He just understood.
You give him a warm smile.Â
âI know you love my couch, but I might forget in the morning youâre here and I might stab you for real this time,â you state. âThe bedâs big enough for both of us and Chandler,â you offer, referring to your hedgehog stuffed toy thatâs about half your size.Â
âAt least I get a blanket!â he claims.  Â
âThanks, Jeon.âÂ
A soft smile appears on his face. âAnything for you, Y/N.â
~
By the time you decide to leave the beach, the sky has already settled in a midnight blue. The waves are crashing, and from across the water, you could see lights from the small town not so far away. You think about spending the night there, or driving someplace else and sleeping in your car until the next morning. But you decide to go home, even if you know youâll just be thinking about him more if you do.
You turn on your engine, put the windows down, and listen to the wind. You think about this morning again. Youâre still in denial that heâd said what he did and the implication that you probably led him on all these months.Â
But youâre convincing yourself that he couldn't pin this on you â he was always calling, he was always texting, he always wanted to be with you after a busy week, he always made it up to you when he couldnât come over, he always stayed when you asked him to.Â
You two kissed, but it was a soft one, not ravenous or lust-filled. He didn't pull away and you didnât try to deepen it. But he looked so good after their show and he was gonna be gone for the tour and the alcohol was talking and you let it.Â
You kissed again after that. There was no drunken night to blame it on the second time, but it was raining when you woke up the next day and he looked so warm and comfortable sleeping on your bed that you just felt like you had to. But he kissed you back, softly still, and he didn't say anything. He didn't pull you in for another one after.Â
If he really felt anything, then he should have. He should have grabbed you and told you he wanted more, that he was feeling differently, that things were changing. He shouldâve done it then or any other time after that. He was always honest with you, but you didn't understand why he wasn't honest about this one, why he decided to just stop things and leave you hanging.Â
Maybe you werenât away long enough, because you didn't even realize that you were already home until you saw your neighborâs white sedan parked in your street. You pull the brakes and park behind it, thinking you were probably absent-minded the entire ride back.Â
Thereâs no warm feeling inside that youâre back. This wasnât a trip that was meant to change anything or make you figure out how to fix things. All you thought about was that you miss him terribly, and maybe thatâs what it was meant for, rub in your face that heâs gone.Â
You drag yourself up the stairs and enter your place. It suddenly feels like heâs everywhere in your apartment. Youâd moved in last year and not even your best friends or your mom had imprinted enough of themselves inside.
Thereâs the cup Jungkook bought for you after he broke one of your favorites. Thereâs this pack of granola bars in your pantry that he got so you wouldn't have to gobble up ice cream when you were hungry. Thereâs the spare toothbrush he started using after his first night in. Thereâs your sweatshirt that he returned, and his hoodie that he said heâd get back the next time he sees you.Â
And thereâs the counter where you both shared take-out dinners and homemade breakfast. And thereâs your couch where you spent nights working while he watched TV on mute. And thereâs your bed where heâd slept next to you a few times.Â
âI shouldn't have watched all those stupid chick flicks when he wasn't talking to me,â you think out loud. Now youâre left with an apartment that has him everywhere.Â
Youâre not even together. Youâve shared so much of yourself to each other but never âI like youâsâ nor âI love youâs,â not even âI miss youâ, but why does it feel like youâve shared all that and more? Why this sudden feeling of emptiness after he told you he had to go and then left just like that?Â
Everything you touch turns into a mess, he told you.Â
Your friends joke about it all the time. Your penchant for trying anything that remotely interests you doesnât necessarily mean youâre good at it. Whether itâs decorating those Valentineâs cookies that Hyejin bakes, molding those vases during a pottery class you impulsively signed up for, or even making pajeon when Chae said you couldnât fry anything other than your broken-yolk eggs, you just have the tendency to end up with final products that are nothing like what you intended. In look or substance, theyâre just not that pretty. Jungkook always laughed along.
But he said it to you today like it burned him. As if to say, look at what youâve done, I donât want to be a part of this.Â
#
âSo uhm, are you just going to sit there and watch us or are you going to help?â Jungkook asks from the floor of your living room, paintbrush in one hand, goodie bag in another.Â
Body sprawled on your sofa with legs hanging and kicking off the armrest, you look at him with a pout. âJaehyun doesnât want me to.âÂ
Jaehyun sighs from where heâs sat on the floor. âItâs not that I donât want to, Y/N. Itâs that I canât afford to.â
You roll your eyes. âYeah, whatever,â bitterness apparent in your voice.Â
Itâs a Sunday and your friends are at your apartment to help Jaehyun decorate the goodie bags heâll be distributing to the kids at the orphanage that he volunteers at. Twice a year, he throws them a party that requires decorating giveaway bags that contain the books and sweets heâs bought with his own money. Jungkook ended up there because, well, by now you donât question him anymore. They had a day-off and he said he was bored.
âJaehyunâs being kind. Y/Nâs just really shit at these things so he doesnât let her touch these,â Chaewon says, holding up a bag where sheâd painted a rainbow.Â
âYou got the color order wrong,â you shoot at her. She responds with scowl.
âCome on, Jae. Pretty please. I promise I wonât mess them up like last time,â you plead to Jaehyun. You know he has a soft spot for you.
âYou said that the last time, tooâ Hyejin chides.Â
âWow thanks, guys. No oneâll even pretend to be on my side, huh,â you sit up and frown at everyone.
âY/N, we are, like, most of the time,â Jaehyun points out, prompting you to glare at your friend. âBut I spent my money on these and the party is already next week and I really want the kids to feel hopeful and inspired, not scared, okay? And I want them to actually keep the goodie bags, not throw them away. Itâs nothing personal, I promise.â
âYeah yeah, whatever,â you wave your hand at them and give up.Â
This is a usual occurrence. You know youâre useless with anything that involves the arts thatâs why your only contribution every time you guys help Jaehuyn is your apartment as a venue.Â
Jungkook arrived an hour earlier with a glimmer and excitement on his face when he saw what your friends were doing, like a little kid at a candy store. He wasted no time and got right down to business. God, those kids who will get his bags would never know they were holding a goldmine.Â
âSo what happened the last time?â Jungkook asks.Â
âShe tried to draw a bear but it ended up looking like that character from the monsters cartoon, you know, the one holding its eyes?â Hyejin recalls, laughing as she recalls the proud look on your face and the distressed one on Jaehyunâs. âShe tried to remedy it but like, just no. It looked terrible.âÂ
âNo kid would feel hopeful with that,â Chaewon adds.
âI really had to do quality checks of her work and I threw them all away cause theyâd gone lumpy. She didnât even mix the paint well,â Jaehyun continues.
âYah! I think Jungkook got the message, okay?â You start chuckling, seeing Jungkookâs amused face and his effort to not laugh along at the thought of you being shut down for something you thought was a pretty thing you created. âIâve accepted that art isnât my forte.â
âSo is cooking, baking, pottery, organizing, arrangingâŠâ You throw Chaewon a pillow, smack to her face like she deserves.
âBut seriously. Trust her to score the final point of a championship game or write a 30-page report on housewifization and its subordination of women but if it isnât sports or research, forget it. Everything she touches turns into a mess. RIP to all the cookies and goodie bags and vases that never saw the light of day,â Hyejin dramatically claims. âItâs kind of her thing.â
You shrug. It kind of is your thing. Your unartistic, unorganized, and mindless chaotic ass, for the life of you, just canât get it together. Clothes and shoes all over the place, gifts wrapped in frayed gift wrappers, cooked food looking inedible⊠relationships that crash and burn because you couldnât decide if you wanted to care or not, because you did whatever you felt like just cause you wanted to, because you got too close and didnât know when to pull away⊠Yeah, definitely.
You turned to your friends who were all back to being immersed in what they were doing, proud look on their faces at the pieces that will definitely give joy and warmth to whoever will get them.
âI just mess things up, though. At least I donât break them.â
~
You wake up to the sound of your phone ringing in your ears, surprising you so much you almost fall off where you were lying.Â
âIâm outside,â Hyejin says on the other line. You get up and open the door.
She turns to you after seeing the blanket on your couch, realizing you had slept there instead of your bed. âToo much of Jungkook in your room, huh?â she says, looking sad, not realizing there was too much of him everywhere. You had just been too tired to go to your room when you got home, but you didnât answer.Â
She takes your silence as a yes and walks to your kitchen to take out the bread and coffee she bought, then heads out to your terrace while you wash up in the bathroom.Â
You sit in front of her and eat your breakfast quietly while she watches you take small bites of your cheese bread. You tell her everything thatâs happened the past 24 hours â from Jiminâs call to Jungkookâs out-of-left-field outburst.Â
âI think I led him on,â you say, head thrown back on the chair, eyes closed.
âUh, you think?â Hyejin claims.Â
âHow come none of you ever said anything?â you ask, looking at her. Jungkook didn't say anything; your friends didnât say anything⊠Were you that naĂŻve? That selfish? That stupid?Â
âWell, itâs not like youâd listen anyway,â she starts. âYou always just do what you want. Like, sure constantly talk to the guy giving you heart eyes every time you look at him, go date the guy whose family is in Australia and would most likely go back and leave you, sure spend time and flirt with the insanely hot and kind and funny pop star⊠like there are no consequences to these things,â she unapologetically says.
âIs that so bad?â you ask.Â
You donât want to sound defensive. You donât have the energy to really argue with anyone.Â
âCome on, Y/N. Donât tell me you didn't see this coming. With how you two were, one of you was bound to fall for the other.â
âWe allowed ourselves to get that close, Hyejin, to be⊠this. Whatever this is. Or was. Itâs not like we ever talked about it, though.âÂ
She raises an eyebrow at you.
âBut I just figured we were both mature enough to handle the consequences. I just don't understand why it has to be this screwed up.â
She looks at you as if sheâs looking right to your soul. âItâs like you ask someone to play fire with you, and you don't mind if you get burnt. You don't mind if they get burnt, too. Thatâs what itâs like.âÂ
âGetting burned is part of it. Getting hurt is part of it. I know that, and I always get over it,â you say.Â
âYeah, but the thing is, you expect the same thing from the other person, too.âÂ
You donât like how right she is about all this.
âWhen you get hurt, you just walk away because you expect it and you accept it and then thatâs it, goodbye to everything that was good. Move on to the next relationship that may or may not work out,â she continues.
You cover your face with your arms, as if somehow thatâs going to be enough to make up for everything youâve done.
âBut thatâs precisely why you always live in the moment, you know? To hell with being careful, or obsessing over whether or not doing something will hurt you. When you feel it that moment, you do it. And youâre okay if it hurts you, or if it leaves you with the shorter end of the stick. You get back on your feet right after anyway.â.
The day at the quad when Jinyoung broke up with you comes to mind. You didnât even fight for it, you normally donât; youâd rather spend that time getting over something and moving on.Â
âBut Jungkook isnât like that, Y/N,â she says, breaking you out of your thoughts. âDon't you get it? He wonât tell you he feels differently. He wonât tell you and right then and there, realizing you don't feel the same way, just accept it and get over it.â
You look back to that last morning you had together, the tangled limbs, the morning kiss, watching him get ready, the words âstay a little longerâ almost slipping past your lips like always, but instead saying that it was nice and comfortable and fun. He smiled then.Â
âThanks for doing that for me; you really are a great friend,â is what you said before he left. So you werenât dreaming the crestfallen look you saw on his face. With furrowed brows he took his phone, multiple messages probably telling him to go back to the dorm, and then he was gone.Â
Your eyes widen at the memory. Thatâs what he was referring to. Youâd been too frustrated at him ignoring you that you didnât even bother to think of what mightâve triggered it.Â
Hyejin seems to pick this up. âSo are you now realizing youâre an idiot?âÂ
You smack her arm and she winces, deservedly so.Â
âOkay, fine. I may have been one but to ignore me like that and then just leave? He waited last minute to tell me what he was feeling and then he fucking left, leaving me here confused and hurt and in agony. Thatâs way worse than my quick and easy,â you exclaim.Â
âSometimes people will cover up the pain rather than just say theyâre hurt. Some hearts are wired that way, Y/N. Not everyone does quick and easy. Not everyone gets to accept their own feelings, and upon realizing theyâre not reciprocated, moves on right away like you do.âÂ
You let everything sink in.
âIt was my second time at that beach yesterday, you know?â You start after a long silence.
âThe first time was after Jinyoung had come over to explain himself. I was already over the break up; I left to get over his reason for it. But yesterday when I was down there, all I could think about was how much I miss Jungkook. Like, it was the only thing going through my head the entire time I was there. He was always leaving but I always knew that when he got back, heâd be knocking at my door againâŠâ you trail. You know it isn't going to be the same this time around.Â
âPeople have their own reasons for leaving, you always say that. You can never fault them for why they choose to. You leave because you want to figure yourself out. He left because he probably didn't want to deal with what heâs feeling for you.â
Feelings. You always made sure to keep yours in check, but Hyejin was right; you also always expected the same from him.
You look out on the city and get lost in your thoughts. People always thought of you as someone who had things figured out - you know what you want from life and from those who are part of it. Youâd walked away from people and let them walk away from you when you knew it had to happen. But this whole deal with Jungkook feels like unfamiliar territory.Â
If it were someone else, you probably wouldâve just let it go, but you keep thinking about Jungkook and the way his dimples still surprise you every time he smiles and how his laugh is so childlike and infectious it annoys you and warms your heart at the same time.Â
You can't get off your head how it feels to hear him say âgood morningâ when you wake up and find his arm gently resting on your waist, your fingers always tempted to trace the ink decorating his own.Â
You warm at the thought of how he manages to make you feel better when youâre tired, how he never makes you feel hopeless when youâre being angry at all the unjust things in the world, how he reminds you of all the good there is during the times you forget.Â
You think of how you donât want to lose all that.
âFeelingsâŠâ you say. You couldnât get used to the idea that he has them for you.Â
âDo you have them too?â Hyejin finally asks.Â
You were so hung up on how the past week has been, that he ignored you, that he left, that you didn't even stop to think of why, and more importantly, what you feel for him.
âI donât know.â
âIâve never seen you like this with anyone, though.â
âItâs because Iâve never been like this with anyone.â
âLike what?â
âCautious?âÂ
âYou mean, spending so much time together, constantly talking, kissing, is you being cautious?â Sheâs asks, incredulous.
You shrug. âIt was never anything more.â
âThen why do you do them?â She snaps back.
âBecause I want to? Iâm always ready for him to turn me down.â It does surprise you every time he says yes to your requests, to your calls, your kisses. âBut he never does.â
âBut you donât ask for anything more?â
âNo.â
âWhy not?â
âBecause I donât want to.âÂ
Hyejin groans. âYouâre giving me a headache.âÂ
âWhat did I say?!âÂ
âHow can you want all of that and none of it at the same time? Seriously, you guys are like, friends with benefits without the sexâŠâ.Â
You throw her a piece of bread, scandalized with what she just said. But you laugh at this. Your friends had joked about that before; even his band mates agreed. You were everything and nothing at the same time, stuck in the grey scale that neither of you were willing to admit. Or move away from.Â
âI think you just wanted everything - you wanted company, you wanted him to stay the night, you wanted to kiss, you wanted him to hold you, you wanted to talk⊠You wanted to be friends.â When Hyejin says it like that, you do seem like a fool.
âBut you didnât want what those actually implied or even required from you,â she continues. âAlmost like thereâs this line youâve set for both of you that only you can see.â
You sigh in frustration. You know when you drew that line, when youâd warned yourself to never cross it, when youâd promised yourself to never want more.
âI guess I always knew what I really felt⊠I probably just denied it or didn't want it enough,â you think out loud.
âSo what now?â She finally asks the painfully obvious question. âWhat will you do now?â
âWallow in my self misery and remind myself everyday that I'm an idiot,â you answer back.
âHmm. Youâre too easy on yourself,â she says.
You smack her arm again, which earns you a laugh from her. âIâm kidding! But seriously, now that everything's a little clear, what are you going to do?â
âMake things even clearer?â You sigh. âI feel like such a mess, Hyej. And heâs the one who usually cheers me up when I feel like shit but I canât ask that from him, now can I?â You say, your body now slumped in your chair, feeling like youâre back to square one.
âYou canât and you wonât.â She walks over to you to pull you up like a big baby. âYouâve got 2 months to figure your shit out before he comes back. Better start now,â she says, as she ushers you back inside.
#
Thereâs continuous knocking on the door, causing you to get up from your seat on your work desk and you readied yourself to fight whoever decided to disturb your busy Saturday morning.Â
You open the door and are greeted with a loud bellow, your name being sung in opera-style by a certain doe-eyed boy.Â
âJeon Jungkook, what are you doing! Youâre gonna wake the neighbors,â you shout, pulling him inside.
âYour closest neighbor is an old woman whoâs hard of hearing. I think weâre good,â he smiles, eyes all innocent-looking.
âWhat are you doing here?â You ask. Itâs one of those rare Saturdayâs when the guys are afforded a full day off - no practice, no show, no filming. He always looked forward to days like this, which you expect heâd spend sleeping in or exercising or playing Overwatch.Â
âGot a free day,â he gleams.
âI know but what are you doing here?âÂ
âYouâve been cranky and whiny this whole week. And you donât respond to my memes,â he says, pouty lips making him look like a little kid that hasnât been given much attention.
âI told you itâs work. Iâm short on time to work on my reports since I got dragged to this week-long event. But I think my brain cells have dissipated; I canât seem to construct simple sentences anymore,â you sigh, heading for your couch to sink into. âIâm sorry for not responding to your memes.â
âIâll forgive you only if you come with me.âÂ
âTo where?â Your brow quirks up, finally taking in his baggy pants and loose white polo and bucket hat. âAnd what look are you going for with this whole get up?â You question, not missing the mismatched pieces of clothing and shades perched on his hat.Â
âSomething unassuming. I asked Jin hyung for advice and raided Taeâs closet,â he shrugs.Â
âSo what do you say? Come with me. Take a break! You wonât get any more productive being cooped up in here. Plus, artists need to go out for inspiration and you donât seem like youâre getting it here,â he says with a smug look. You smack his arm, knowing that last bit he only said to mock you.
But itâs the words you always say to him; now heâs just saying them right back to you. âI promise to buy you snacks,â he says, reaching out his hand to you and pushing you to your room to get dressed.
And that promise he keeps. He rented a simple car so his luxurious one wouldnât catch attention. You take a drive out of the city, sing your lungs out in the car, and go store hopping. You find supermarkets and convenience stores and little shops to look for different kinds of snacks that you both try and make reviews of. Every pretty view you see has you stopping the car and admiring the scene.Â
You inhale the fresh air, something you donât get much in the city, and you appreciate this. You get back to your place, complain about your tummy aches, laugh until you fall asleep, tangled limbs and all, but not before telling him it was the most fun youâd had in a while and your brain feels rejuvenated enough to get the reports done in the next few days.Â
He falls asleep with that smile, the proud one heâd have on when you show your appreciation for him. He does like getting praises, that much you know.
You wake up to his quiet snores, cheek squished on the pillow with a hand over your waist, like always. You know you have to wake him up soon, which you do with a soft kiss, like always too. You watch him smile into the kiss and return it, until he finally opens his eyes to look at you.Â
âGet up, sleepyhead. Theyâll be calling you over soon,â you say.Â
You watch him ready himself from your bed, still drowning in that kiss with a lazy smile on your face. You want to tell him to stay a little longer, even if youâre the one pushing him to get ready.Â
You always want to say that, whether itâs walking out the door at night or getting up from your bed in the morning. You always want to ask him to stay a little bit more but you never do, thankful for whatever time he could spare you, careful not to ask for more than what he could give.
Yesterday was good. Youâd been drowning in work, and youâd blown off your friends this past week and you knew that Jungkook had a busy week as well. But yesterday felt nice. Heâd given up his own free day to be with you and he willingly did so, knowing that you need it without you saying it out loud.Â
You had fun during the drive, and even more so exploring the store aisles, figuring out which brand of shrimp cracker or chocolate milk to get, buying all of them anyway, and excitedly opening them, finishing it all up and proceeding to give your review like those YouTubers you both liked to watch.Â
It always feels like this with him, but you had been so tired and drained that being with him yesterday just made you feel so happy. It showed with how you constantly leaned into him, how you rested your head on his shoulder as he was deciding on the size of banana milk he would buy, knowing heâd be resting his head on yours as a response.Â
You were missing physical affection and he was always willing to give you that, and you liked that he never seemed to ask for more. Youâd initiate and heâd return, youâd pull and heâd let you, no questions asked. It felt comfortable enough, you thought. You didnât have to explain yourself or your actions. It just always seemed like a given.Â
Heâd said that he was dealing with a lot already as a pop star, that stuck with you and you knew from then on it was code for him not wanting to get into a relationship, and despite having being single for a little over a year already, you had too much going on in your life too that you didnât really need any commitments at this point. You were on the same page, for sure.
It was nice and comfortable and fun, thatâs what you tell him. Youâre referring to the day you had, and what itâs like with him too, in general. You watch him pull his gray hoodie over his head. The black one, his favorite, youâd worn the night before, and you hug yourself to say you donât want to return it yet.Â
He chuckles, âFine. Iâll get it back the next time I see you.â You like his scent, but youâd never say this to him too.
You stand up to head to the kitchen, feeling refreshed and ready to be productive for the rest of the week. You know it had so much to do with the previous day, as if the laughter and smiles you had made up for that entire week when you barely did either. You give him a quick hug. âThanks for that, Jungkook. You really are a great friend.â
His face falls a little bit, as he clutches onto his phone to check the multiple messages probably telling him to go back home. You donât think much of it. When you turn back to him, heâs gone.
~
part 1 drabble <<>> part 2 drabble
series masterlist
#jungkook fanfic#jungkook fic#jungkook x reader#jungkook angst#jungkook fluff#jungkook smut#jeon jungkook#jungkook#bts fic#bts jungkook#idol jungkook
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