#without having to care if they make sense bc well. whats more self indulgent that a selfship harem?

[koicrimes]

I wonder how much legal trouble i'd get into for posting an aizawa x f.reader x kaito threesome....

[diamondcitydarlin]

Alright real talk now without sassiness bc the whole anti thing against beetlebabes has me thinking about self-indulgent fantasy as a literary/storytelling device and it's something I've been thinking about with different medias lately, so this is topical ig for my current hyperfixation. Specifically I've been thinking about fantasy disavowal and the role that plays in self-indulgent/self-insert type fantasy stories, whether canon or extrapolated within fanfic. I first really learned about this concept in name from this video from contrapoints, so I have to give her credit for discussing this and explaining to me how it works in a way that blew my mind apart at the time, and I think it's the sort of thing that puts a lot of what goes on in self-indulgent fantasy stories into a different perspective, particularly when we're trying to evaluate said stories under an IRL moral microscope (and is why that approach pretty much never works or applies within this kind of story)

(Semi-long post under the cut where I mention Harry Potter as an example of a literary device- as I say within the writeup, I do not condone or support JKR or her beliefs and this is not an endorsement of her but rather a well-known example I think most people will recognize. Be aware if it's triggering for you. I also mention Twilight lol, incase that's an issue. It takes me a minute to get to Beetlejuice/Beetlebabes but I promise this is all relevant to my point, your honors)

Recently I saw a discussion within a Twilight fan group I'm in (yes I'm a Twilight fan and a rattie iykyk) about how toxic certain characters behavior would be IRL, particularly in the way several of them have a habit of making choices for Bella against her will, gifting her with things she's said she didn't want and insisting she use/wear them, etc etc. As a former Twilight hater (cuz I used to be that too many years ago!!!) I knew where they were coming from in being critical of these characters and calling them toxic, because in any other setting that would absolutely be true. Within fantasy disavowal, however, these 'toxic' behaviors are actually a way for the reader/writer (who is living vicariously through the main character) to have the main character get what they think she should have and want her to have without compromising her character or the integrity of the fantasy. Bella Swan, for example, is meant to be modest, selfless, 'not like other girls' and usually uncomfortable with bringing too much attention to herself (which makes her relatable to those who would live vicariously through her story), but of course many of those reading WANT her to have a big wedding and traditional dress anyway so that's where, for example, Alice's insistence she have those things comes into play. Yes, IRL that would be controlling, obsessive, weird, and a complete disregard of someone's wishes and boundaries but in a self-insert fantasy that tactic serves an important role to the purpose and point of the setting. WELL if you INSIST, Alice, I guess I'll just take your very generous and expensive gifts and deal with it, sigh, oh WELL!!! /s In that sense it's less demeaning and more empowering, if you're viewing it from the pov of someone wanting to immerse themselves in the fantasy.

Another example of where this is kinda used in self-insert fantasy is Harry Potter (and many others like it, and this isn't to condone JKR's terfism, this is just the example I think most people will recognize), wherein the children reading are meant to want to live vicariously through Harry and his friends and their adventures. For those children reading (and I know bc I was one once lol) the idea of being in a dangerous environment that the adults don't really shield them from entirely is very cool, it gives them a sense of independence and self-sufficiency and a sense of 'trust' from the fictional adults in their abilities to take care of themselves. From an adult's perspective now, particularly one with a child of first-year age, it's seemingly horrific how neglectful and reckless the adults in that series are with the wellbeing of the children they're responsible for (like, idk, sending a bunch of 11 year olds into the known death forest for their first detention sentence, at night, while knowing some beast is eating unicorns in said forest). But of course, within the story this constant, casual endangerment of children is never really brought up as an issue or as a reflection of some kind of immortality in the adults responsible for them as it would IRL, because it serves the purpose of self-indulgent fantasy for the children reading. It's not MEANT to be seen as a moral failing or child endangerment AT ALL so much as just the adults characters getting the fuck out of the way so the kids can have fun- unless it's like Umbridge doing it, who is established as an villain and immoral even in that setting from the jump. (And again this isn't a defend JKR post, just an explanation/example of what I'm talking about) IDK if this qualifies as fantasy disavowal perse, but it's a similar phenomenon of how behaviors -particularly those of supporting characters- can seem immoral/toxic under a real world lens but within the story serves a purpose to the reader living through the fantasy.

The way this relates to Beetlebabes for me is mostly fanon focused, but I think there are elements of disavowal in the canon as well. A lot of us who ship beetlebabes feel a kinship to Lydia in some way or another, especially those of us who watched the first film and cartoon as we ourselves were coming of age (and also probably weirdo goth kids too at the same time, I definitely was lol) and while it obviously isn't a fantasy for everyone, for a lot of us the idea of a 600-year old demon choosing and becoming obsessed with our weirdo asses BECAUSE of our weirdness is really cool actually lmao. To others, Beej pursuing Lydia so ardently against her outspoken disavowal can only be seen as intentionally toxic because they're not part of the fantasy, nor do they want to be, so seeing the merits (and empowerment) of his pursuit within this setting is beyond them. And of course, there's something to be said for the inherent nature of gothic romance as a setting, as well as the fact that movieverse Beetlejuice isn't really meant to be the pinnacle of moral direction in real life, it's meant to be a creepy, kooky dark comedy that pushes the boundaries of societal norms (not unlike what we do in the shadows). As others have said, this also isn't unlike the film Labyrinth much at all, though I RARELY see anyone coming after the Jareth/Sarah ship despite Sarah being a child in the film and Jareth being, yknow, also an ancient spirit of some kind. Perhaps because most people better understand how Labyrinth functions as a self-insert fantasy, that Jareth's obsession with Sarah is meant to be an empowering thing within that context for the young people like Sarah watching it, not an endorsement of IRL predatory behavior (ofc, Jareth being mostly a creation of Sarah's might aid with the sense of her power over the situation).

Honestly, I think it's also true for a lot of people against Beetlebabes that they identify with Lydia too, but in a way that doesn't include wanting a 600-year old demon to be obsessed with them (you do you boo, more of him to go around ig lmaooo), but instead of seeing and accepting the merits of Beej's obsession in this other kind of fantasy, they instead choose to apply real-world morals onto not only the story but the people who enjoy this story as well as their personal discomfort demands. For as much as they want to accuse others of 'not having media literacy' for shipping it, they sure jump right over the point of this literary/storytelling device. And to that end, I can't wholly blame them, because it was only within the last few years that I really realized and accepted how this works too- but I'm doing my best to explain it now, for whomever is interested.

I guess what I'm ultimately trying to say is that self-insert/self-indulgent type fantasy stories are, by design, not meant to be viewed through a real-world moral lens. The entire point of them is to transport a reader/viewer into a world where real-life doesn't apply, where someone like them is loved and obsessed over for the things that they are often disparaged for IRL and within a context where they (and the main character) still hold the reigns of control, as Lydia does over Beetlejuice time and time again (despite being a powerful 600 year old demon Beej sure lets his wife kick him around a lot, doesn't he???). It's not meant to be an endorsement or romanticization or even a depiction of IRL immorality either, as that would ruin the effect of the fantasy.

So yeah, I feel like trying to evaluate most of these stories in a real-world moral context is a fundamental misunderstanding of how this kind of storytelling works- that's not to say one can't evaluate them that way if they want, and sometimes (like other things used within the HP series) it's due, but I think it definitely becomes an issue when this 'moral evaluation' turns into one of the people who enjoy the fantasy too. The fictional flights of fancy that people like to immerse themselves into are just that; fantasy. And what's more, different people like living vicariously through different kinds of fantasies, different people are going to find different things empowering in said stories and just because one thing feels empowering for one person but demeaning to another should not mean the former person is immoral and gross in real life or would even want these things to happen in real way.

I keep trying to wrap this post up and failing, but that's basically it. I'm posting this because I know others will probably have way more intellectual insight and feedback to add about this kind of storytelling and I just think it's really fascinating to talk about. What do yall think?

[cupidsnumberonehater]

OFMD S2 SPOILERS KINDA MAYBE IDK HOW TO TAG THIS SHIT???!!!

Picture from (unlisted) clip from Max!!

IGNORE IF YOU DONT WANT ANALYSIS AND SHIT ABOUT SPOILER CLIPS!!!!

Izzy lovers after seeing that clip:

For real, though.. that's episode one? COOL, can't wait to sob 😭. Con O'Neill's acting is GORGEOUS as always and my word, does he sell the character. It's out of character for Izzy yet still so in character and that is splendid. So! A few rambles if anyone care to indulge because I have re-watched the clip wayy too much already:

A. The Crew

I know this is a romcom but I find it wild that Jim and Frenchie seem to have some amount of care for Izzy rather than the off-put "what is happening" sort of reaction I would've expected. Fang has shown his own sweet self in season one, it makes sense he would be so nice to Izzy, but Stede's crew? Who wanted to mutiny the DAY Izzy became captain? Again, it's a romcom, I'm sure there's not much to it, but like what would have happened in the months between Ed's returned and this clip that they would care enough? Does Blackbeard get THAT bad and THAT obvious in his treatment of Izzy? Potentially even his treatment of the crew? Like I want to know when the crew realize "shit, he isn't treating that little fucker right." Like obviously his fucking toes getting snipped off isn't exactly a good sign, but when are they like "mmmm somethings not right" yk

Stede's crew was always very open about caring for each other (in their own ways) so maybe it's simply that, plus Stede's influence on them still shining through, but yk, I like being way too fucking deep into things. Also I really want to see more of the nicer Fang/Izzy interactions, mainly bc I love Fang and I love Izzy, but them interacting this season seems like such a nice little addition.

Also, not only does the crew seem so worried, but Izzy LETS them be worried. He doesn't try to escape the situation, he stands there and lets it happen, with the SMALLEST bit of fighting Fang and of course biting back his sobs. He's rendered completely vulnerable, as he seemingly can't talk much without crying, so he can't really make orders (least not in a very strong or commanding way like usual) and he probably can't walk too well. He's sick and vulnerable and has to put his trust in the crew in that moment.

B. Fucking hell, Izzy

Izzy already has tears in his eyes when the scene begins. It makes me think of two things; either maybe Fang or Frenchie brought up the situation with Blackbeard or something similar (likely in the more comical, laid back way, not actually thinking about Izzy's part in the situation) and it makes Izzy upset with everything's that been happening, then that leads to his breaking. Or alternatively, he could literally just be in so much pain (physically) with his leg, assuming it's likely getting pretty bad at that point, that he can't help but cry. Either way, the distress would easily lead even a man like Izzy to some sort of breaking point, like the clip shows, and it hurts my heart but also it's so good.

Additional thought and more of a "I'd read this in a fanfic" type of delulu deal: Izzy states that they've run out of room on the revenge bc of the looting, pretty much, but the way he starts the scene indicates some sort of conversation prior. While it's probably more likely that they were all just looking around their shit and trying to make room or figure out a plan to separate it all and such, then Izzy could've sat down with a tear bc he's probably in a lot of fucking pain, I would love the consider the possibility of Ed getting upset with the situation. Maybe he isn't listening when Izzy tries to explain the situation, maybe he's having a bit of an emotional day and he's being all "Blackbeard 🤬👹" bc of it, maybe he's raising his voice, who tf knows, and maybe it gets to Izzy that particular day and then boom, yk.

C. Hopes and desires (except I'm delulu)

The possibilities that that scene alone can lead to makes my brain scatter and run to grab all of them holy shit. The idea of some of the crew staging a sort of intervention for Izzy and his obsession with/love for Blackbeard. The idea of Izzy getting a little, teensy weensy more comfortable with some of them after this because fuck they saw the man BREAK even if it's just for those few seconds after all. The idea that THATS what helps push his character growth into motion. The idea that this plus after his amputation, he grows to trust the crew more, or trust them with more of himself anyway. The idea of him growing closer to them and realizing Blackbeard isn't the only person on this ship he can or should devote his life of piracy to. The idea of his motto of loyalty changing from "loyalty to the captain" to "loyalty to the captain and his crew." The idea that most of them keep Izzy's slip a secret but then someone spits it out by accident and either Ed rethinks things, ignores it, or he and Izzy both get a "what happened to you" talk from each other (probably in a bad way but the potential for a healthy chat is always there). The idea of Stede and him having a chat about love (doubting Izzy would fully realize he's obsessed/in love with Ed, but) and Stede basically telling Izzy what Mary told him, and that just confuses Izzy further - "It's easy" "it's just like breathing" - there's no way in hell that description fits Izzy's relationship with Ed (least not anymore, clearly) so what else could he possibly be feeling?

D. Final thoughts

All I know is Izzy is so clearly a fucking broken man at the START of the season. It's very promising for his character growth, which sounds weird but it stands. It's likely his leg is all infected in this scene, considering the false leg in the trailer, so that means we might be getting an amputation scene (or at least a reference to one). We might be getting some relationship growth between Izzy and the crew rather than just him and Stede, which I heavily look forward to. I'm a big Stede fan, but I would love to see Izzy and the crew actually be sort of acquaintances rather than pure co-pirates. I would especially love some more Fang and Izzy. They've clearly had some sort of positive relationship if Fang can hug him without facing some sort of physical aggression, so I would love to see it. Also, Fang's "how you doing, Izzy?" and "am I crushing you?" were the best lines I've heard so far, I fucking love him and his genuine care.

Also this screenshot makes me want to draw him sooo bad. The lighting, the expression, the scenery, everything is so perfect and sorrowfully angry.

AHH it's eating me up. I have worms in my brain and their names are Izzy, Stede, and whatever the fuck this scene is. I have more art ideas now too uhg

[kolbietheaggrievedwriter]

how are funerals conducted in The Fool Of A Prince? is anyone allowed to attend? what would happen if nobility or higher attended a commoner's funeral? are they buried or are they cremated?

i'm sorry if it seems too morbid hehe

i was just curious after rereading all of the self-indulgent i had sent before. i do wonder if niren and elliot would have the time to attend their admirer's funeral... would they even be allowed to? how do you think they would react if the grave didn't even have a name, only wildflowers growing on it?

ARGHHHH THE ELLIOT AND NIREN DREAMS ARE MAKING ME GO CRAZY

Tentative answer bc I'm only thinking about this now lol: Noble funerals are held at night when the moon is at its highest point, and commoner funerals are held during the day when the sun is at its zenith. In that same vein, nobles are more inclined to Moon Goddess Katarina and commoners, Sun Goddess Hifrari. They worship both of course, but there are subtle preferences simply bc the goddesses themselves have slight biases. The royal family are called the Nightsteels, after all, and they specialize in Night Magic.

Now for your actual question, as for attendance, funerals are as big an event as weddings, and both are presided over by the goddesses. The church will take care of everything for both nobles and commoners, even those without existing loved ones to request it. Commoners are required to attend the funerals of the royal family as well as important members of the clergy, but other noble families generally exclude them.

When it comes to nobles attending a commoner funeral, the commoners would have to scramble to accomodate the noble(s), of course. It would probably be seen as a faux pas to noble society, though. Niren and by extension, Elliot could get away with it if Niren has already publicly announced his support of commoners, but even if not, they'd probably still sneak into their secret admirer's funeral so as to not make it about them. They wouldn't want to turn attention away, ya know. Or bring undue attention from others.

I'm not decided about the actual ritual. It would heavily involve magic, though, and ultimately the souls of believers would be sent to the dreams of the twin goddesses where they will forever rest peacefully at the side of whichever goddess isn't awake and active on the other side. They switch between night and day. Believers of other deities would be taken care of by their chosen church. No one knows what happens to non-believers, but common consensus is that they either cease to exist or reincarnate until they choose to believe. Priests and higher have a way of determining which religion someone believes in, so they can be properly sent off. All deities leave a mark, and they train to sense it.

There's nothing like hell or purgatory, but souls can be destroyed. In which case they would cease to exist - which is where people got the idea when it comes to non-believers. Still no proof, though, and no word from the gods.

...I got sidetracked haha Sorry! They'd be incredibly saddened by an unmarked grave. Once Chel is taken care of (and thus they can be assured it won't be subsequently tampered with), Niren would make sure to engrave it personally (assuming the name is known by then lol). It's taboo to dig up a grave, so they'd just make it really nice. Make sure it's maintained and visit it often. Maybe ask the twin goddesses to look after this one soul personally, as they do the royal family's.

[possibilistfanfiction]

I am very, very attached to ava "gender? *shrug emoji*" silva because it's so rare I see that approach and, self indulgently, it's me. I've got trans friends and nb friends and the whole pronoun thing makes sense to them in a way I'm almost jealous of? Does that make any sense? They know themselves enough to know they were a square peg on a round hole...no double entendre intended...and I'm sat here going "well using my birth pronouns doesn't hurt me so I'll roll with that", and it feels weird somehow? Because it's not bad and it's not uncomfortable but I know it would only be the newness factor and the extra steps correcting people that mean I wouldn't be just as comfortable going by a different one?

And then I feel all twisted because I work in a decent job with an actual commitment to supporting LGBTQ+ people, but I'm still puzzling out the pronouns and I don't want to put them into my email signature then change, or have them hang about after I potentially have a revelation. But I don't want people to think I'm opposed to them either.

I don't know, don't feel obligated to weigh in, I just figure I could ping this at you without judgement at least. It's hard to state it out loud sometimes.

lemme tell you. pronouns (especially in english) as a stand in for gender is a) v recent; b) so neoliberal & western, & rly wayyyy more of an issue in the global north. ppl prioritizing pronouns as Respectful™️ toward trans folks is all fine & good (it’s easy), but the neoliberal rhetoric around trans existence as like… rooted in western language, western terms, western experiences… fucking infuriating. i hate pronouns. i hate the expectation of them. i hate a “dead” name — i was never not who i am, i will always be who i am; i have a name i was given & a name i chose & they’re not desperate selves. the pathologization of transness is disgusting & not at all decolonized; the expectation that u have to feel at deep odds w your body, at deep odds w ur pronouns, ur name, etc, is a western reaction to a western problem. all over the world, for literally all of history, gender expansive folks have existed without the expectation of Being Trans, without definitions & boxes. i despise the expectation that i have to feel hatred or profound anxiety about myself or my body to access care, or to have a name i chose — i think care should be about what makes you feel best, & that’s it. the state control thru the medical industrial complex of gender & care & belonging is insane. so i always just ask, what’s the best choice? what makes me feel comfortable & at ease? what do i Want? those are the only questions that matter to me at this point. if those answers are rly rooted in pronouns & a name etc, then that’s obvs fine! but i think so often we get caught up in HAVING to have those things to be able to answer those questions. & to me the answers to those questions are found in the texture & fit of fabrics, & my home, & really good food, & my community. not once have i found them in a they/them pronoun

so anyway yes i hear you. i don’t think u should feel jealous of ur friends bc ur experience is so real & expansive & that’s also wonderful.

& for ava yah it’s honestly pissed me off for a while that ppl have just thrown this inaccurate & weird & western agenda on her gender. like when i say she doesn’t care, she’s happy w her body, she loves curiosity & hates boxes & labels — it’s tru. it’s not more than that, it’s not “non-binary”. there’s no binary to begin with!! there never has been!

[bluegekk0]

Honestly, I love your style, And I enjoy the way you design the characters we rarely see with the cloak off, like grimm or the pale king. But obviously, No artist is without his flaws, and I presume you do not view yourself to be without any. For starters, While the whole "Pale king is an innocent gubblemuncher" thing is cute, depending on how it's handled, It gets stale, fast. (especially considering purely how non-gubblemuncher PK is in the lore, but whatever, we can just ignore that-) Then, I have a bit of a nit to pick at with the way the "Feral PK au" was handled. Once again, similar issue to as I listed prior, PK being innocent and chill is cute, but it gets old fast, especially when the au is based around this characterization of the pale king. (Also, I didn't like PK and WL breaking up despite WL seeming to still care about him in the game, Unless there was some insane sit-com tier argument they had after PK reincarnated that I was never told about, But ig we needed a reason to ship grimm and pk, since, as most are aware, WL hates grimm's guts, so I doubt she would be ok with sharing, so it makes sense.) And finally, I don't like the missed potential of the "feral PK au". When I first heard of that au idea, I imagined a tragic story where PK comes back, But is almost a wild animal and WL ends up caging him bc she's too attached to let him go.... Instead, It's basically an artifact title, one that only applies to the act 1, maybe even just act 0.5, Possibly act 0.25 depending on how it worked. So, I think a more accurate title would be "palegrimm crack au" /j

(Note that "Gubblemuncher" is not an expression I meant to offend, It's 11:55 AM and I needed to make up something to describe a gremlin who is adorable in their own way.)

okay so uhh. i wanted to keep this short but i have a lot of things to say, though i'll get to the point right away. i don't appreciate those kinds of comments, i'm sorry

don't get me wrong, you have every right to dislike aspects of my au. there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. i'm aware that some of my takes are perhaps a little out there. i know many of them stray far away from canon. however, i never claimed that i wanted it to stick to canon, quite the opposite in fact

this au, the whole story, is something i do for myself. it's a little comfort space for me, that i decided to share with friends and other people because they showed interest and wanted to me to talk about it. i did not make it with the intention of creating a coherent narrative, or writing something sophisticated that would have a good plot. i'm not good at those things, i won't pretend otherwise. all this is, is just a silly self-indulgent au that means so, so much to me

and so i understand if some people don't vibe with it. that's perfectly fine, it's not for everyone. what i'm not fine with is people telling me how they think i should write the characters or where they think i should take the story, treating it as if the au is meant to cater to them. that is not what you'll find here, i'm sorry. i find comments like "this is a missed potential" to be a bit rude and quite discouraging, especially since i've never done anything like this and so i'm very insecure about it

some parts of this ask come off as a bit passive-aggressive to me, but that could very well be me overthinking. and because i don't like assuming the worst in people, i want to clear some misconceptions i saw here instead

first of all, the au is not built around the idea that pk is innocent. i've stated before that i don't agree with that notion, he has done terrible things and that should not be ignored. the difference here is that i try to make him more nuanced, and i've personally always loved the theme of well-meaning people committing horrible actions in the name of good. that is where i'm going with my interpretation. he tries to do well, he is very emotional and anxious, he wants to make others happy and be loved. and yet he's still responsible for the deaths of so, so many beings that did not deserve that fate. that is not something i want to ignore, it's something that haunts him constantly, and is a huge part of his character, his struggles and his arc in the au

the reason why you rarely see that portrayed in my art is because, like i said, this is something i do for myself. while i enjoy thinking about more emotional aspects of it, i also want to find happiness and comfort in it, and so i prioritize wholesome art, as that is what i find the most comforting. perhaps it is my fault that i'm not clear enough about this, and if so, i'll try to do better

i will be more short and to the point with the next part, as i've answered many asks about this topic in the past. but no, fpk and wl did not separate because of grimm. they did not separate because of a "sitcom tier argument" either. it was a result of their vastly different approaches to dealing with their guilt and shame (among other things about their relationship), and they divorced while still on good terms. this would've happened in the au even without grimm in the picture, so no, i did not just get rid of wl to make space for the ship i like. that was never my intention, even if pale nightmare is my preferred ship

lastly, about the name of the au, i mentioned before that it wasn't a conscious decision to name it that, people simply started calling him "feral pk" and i decided to keep it. for convenience, and because i thought it had a nice ring to it. that being said, it's still accurate to his character in the au. he doesn't simply "drop the feral act" once he reunites with his family, his instincts are a part of him now. throughout the whole story of the au, he is by all accounts "feral". if you had different expectations for this, then i'm afraid that is on you. you are free to explore the idea you had yourself, it sounds interesting. but it's not something i wanted to do

like i said. i don't want to assume that your intentions were to be rude. but i wanted to respond anyway to clear possible misunderstandings, and emphasize that i don't like seeing comments like this. still, i hope you have a good day anon. if you did not mean for me to interpret it like this, then know that i don't hold it against you. we're all here to enjoy ourselves, but some boundaries need to be made, and this is where i set mine. i hope you understand

[whit3-lotus-fac7]

Alright so this is my first post hello!

These are fanaspects but gonna bffr the only reason these are being crated is bc I was annoyed some were making a 7 deadly sins but wouldn’t make all of them so I’m here (so couple things 1 i haven’t read any of the others so if any of them sound similar to another 7DS fanassprcts it’s bc we’re doing the same words and concepts, 2 sorry for any misspelling I’m dumb) ok imma just explain how there gonna be formatted

7DS aspect

Main thing, secondary thing (like how light is luck, knowledge (I know there’s more I just see those as the main things)

(One bard explanation (I like bards), one other aspect explanation)

Wrath

Pain, vengeance

( like a bard with neglect the pain they went through sort of like coping or disassociating from it, and or invite people to destroy because of their pain, they might neglect the feelings of hate they get from not getting something like their vengeance until they eventually explode and go gamzee, or invite people to do whatever it takes to get their vengeance, and a sylph might heal peoples pain, whether mentally or physically or heal a lack of pain (I know this sounds like doom, but it’s more like torture bc it’s just pain), or my work through somebody not getting there vengeance sort of like a therapist, or heal somebody’s lack a vengeance getting them to get their vengeance (closer to doom as this could involve murder)

Greed

Possessions, literal greed

(Like a bard would let There possess either or be destroyed without putting up a fight, and there greed for others would destroy there social life or like make the person affected do bad, like petty theft, or something of the sort, and a Thief would litterly be a Theif, maybe they would be able to steal items from someone to there advantage like “lol I have your weapon now tf you gonna do” or “lol I have your diary now time to expose your ass)

Lust

Obsession, needs

(Like a bard would like neglect them selves/things are supposed to take care of or etc. for obsession/what their obsessing over mediate might be like they would ignore everything in the outside world for what they’re obsessing over sort of like a hyper fixation, a mage would have a bad experience with obsession and/or needs, like may be a stocker or hyper-sexuality, or something like that)

Envy

One’s desires, litterly envy

(like a bard will neglect what they want or neglect, their feelings of envy towards others, , or a hier would naturally gravitate towards the things they want,and envy would mean that especially at the start they don’t get the things they want, but they’re surrounded by them, sorta)

Sloth

indolence, ideal

(Like a bard would well be more of a bard they’re already naturally lazy but now there lazy to a point where things were like start being murdered and destroyed, and they just wouldn’t care to much effort, and they were just to believe everything is going to work out, and a prince would be like a drill sergeant destroying indolence, and

Would destroy peoples ideals or something like that)

Pride

Self/ego, honor

(Like a bard would neglect their honor as they think they are too important to do whatever it is that’s going to damage their honor, they would basically think everyone to bellow them, a knight might be extremely self doubting, or self hating but disguise it with a false ego to not seem lesser or to not let people know there lesser and might not have a lot of respect to them or their name but basically would reject that may be a parent was a Lying scumbag and now they’re like trying to fix that, and after God tearing the more sense of self-worth they have and like the power/honor behind their name could create like weapons or shields, or etc.)

Gluttony

indulgence, excessive

(Like a bard would neglect indulgence to explain that better instead of having too much they would have to little by choice or if they feel like fulfillment, they might have like imposter syndrome about it and wouldn’t have anything more then the bare minimum, maid would start out relying on others for what they need or what they want, but eventually, they will become indulgence they will become the sense of gratification they will do what they want when they want and they would never do anything in moderation, the more the better like instead of, just killing you, they’ll kill your entire family, and basically whatever they were leaning on for help will now become excessive like if they were leaning on somebody because they could never get something they want now they’ll have an excessive amount of everything they want)

Yea so that’s it hope you enjoy, I’ll probably make colours and sign for it sooner or later, if you wanna know how it would work with another class do ask

Love you, have an amazing day/night

[elsecrytt]

What are your thoughts on Diavolo/MC/Lucifer? It's probably the most popular sandwich in yandere fics, and I like it a lot, though I don't know if they would be as good at sharing as they are presented to be. I'm not caught up on the newer lessons where we get to know Diavolo more but I do know he and Lucifer have a complicated relationship, especially with the whole power imbalance thing, and putting a darling between them would be interesting, to say the least.

s;lkgjfsh I can already tell I'm going to ramble on about this for quite a while so like. would you believe i had this written out days ago and just forgot to post it? i can go on and ON without even realizing it lmao Other anons, take note. It's a LOT easier to get content out of me if you just give me a topic and have me yammer on bc I can textwall 24/7 without thinking about it if I'm not writing like, actual prose. Any direct spoilers, I'll put beneath a cut, but otherwise, just note that the opinions I express here are influenced by what I've seen of the characters in Seasons 2 and 3. SO. Dia/MC/Luci, huh? It's definitely the most common yandere sandwich (and possibly regular sandwich) besides the attic one, and it's one that I really do like! For various reasons, it makes sense for them to go yandere together - since, if one of them went yandere and the other one didn't, the other guy would be the first person you'd go to for help. Particularly in the context of yandere works, Dia/MC/Luci is interesting because of the power imbalances present everywhere, as well as the contingent parties' experiences with love. Dia has some significant attachment and interest in Lucifer, which is never really quite reciprocated. Diavolo adores Lucifer, and Luci certainly likes Dia, but never quite the way Dia likes him. I think this part of the dynamic is sorely underexplored in Luci/MC/Dia works, and it's a shame. (Side note: I know a particular work by a yandere blog that does have Diavolo being somewhat for Lucifer, who is yandere for the reader, but it's not quite a sandwich.) A work can still be very self-indulgent and reader-centric, focused on the character/reader pairing, while still having character/character. In fact, expanding the relationships between characters other than the reader can make the characters feel more three dimensional and compelling! Diavolo's feelings for Lucifer can enhance his feelings towards the reader. Diavolo, lonely and misunderstood, feeling like Lucifer will never see him as a true equal, and his feelings will never be returned. And here you are, an outsider to this relationship, without any baggage, someone who earned Lucifer's love and respect just by being who you are. No manipulation, no bargains, just genuine bonding and personal intimacy. How did you do it? How can he do it? What is it you have that he doesn't? And, deep down, in the core of his being - can he obtain for himself something that Lucifer wants - and possibly use it against him? Diavolo, approaching you for impure reasons, comparing you to Lucifer at every turn, comparing his relationship with you to the one he has with Lucifer, and re-evaluating his entire perspective on everything. (Lesson 16 Spoilers) -

Diavolo who is also losing control over Lucifer after the incident with Belphegor. Diavolo who is forced to face the fact that Lucifer cares more about his brothers, and always will, no matter his oath of loyalty. Diavolo who doesn't know it, but is desperate to have someone new to love. Diavolo who's never quite felt like he was loved back, not without him pressing the other party into it. His position and character flaws starve him of any genuine, personal connection. But he can get that with you, where things are different; there are no conflicting loyalties and no threats to his power. You don't even have a proper sense of Dia's position, not really, since you're an outsider, and that helps. Diavolo the manipulator, who effectively forced all his friends to become friends with him initially, falling in love with you because you decided to be friends with him, first. Because that's what you do, isn't it? In canon, you go around befriending all the demons around you without a care in the world. No matter how powerful or intimidating they are, you stand your ground, determined to build genuine friendships, on your own terms. And that's what Diavolo needs really, what he's too socially stunted to realize that he needs; he needs a friend who wouldn't leave him if he suddenly became a normal person. Diavolo needs someone he thinks wouldn't leave him, if he didn't keep them next to him. And while canon Dia is loooong past the point of forcing people to stay by his side, a yandere Dia - a Dia made desperate by the reality of Lucifer's loyalties, the loss of his one friend he always wanted but never could quite win over - may very well... lapse into old habits. And no one could stop him. That's it, the reason Diavolo is one of the most popular yanderes. Ultimately. Diavolo canonically kidnaps you and keeps you in the Devildom for a year. Sure, Lucifer picked you out, but him, Barbatos, and everyone else are ultimately just Diavolo's accomplices, and not even necessarily 100% willing ones. Diavolo who wonders if he can't have his cake and eat it, too; if Lucifer can't be made to cooperate, with the right incentive. And that's just on Diavolo's part - Lucifer would have many reasons to go along with it. It would tie into his being pursued by Diavolo; his immediate superior who he's sworn his loyalty to, who flirts with him even when Lucifer is clearly uncomfortable with it. If he gives in to this, can he keep Diavolo at a distance? Can he keep you close? Can he put you there as a buffer, and ensure your safety as one of the involved parties? Lucifer doesn't even necessarily have to be yandere to go along with this. He's a smart person. I love smart yanderes (and smart darlings!) If he fights Dia and loses - very likely - then you're left entirely at Dia's mercy. But by going along with it, Lucifer has some measure of power over your situation and living conditions. And yes, perhaps there is a little selfish love left in him. If Dia is going to steal you away, then why shouldn't he get as much of you as he can get? And isn't it better for you, too, to have choices? Moreover, if Diavolo has any lingering attachment to Lucifer, then he can become a buffer between you and Dia - the lesser of two evils, if you're determined to see them as such. And as manipulative as all of that sounds... it'll all be entirely true. This is what makes sense to him. Lucifer has never directly gone against Diavolo. His tactics are to surrender (do what Dia wants and live with the consequences), persuade (often it doesn't work), and if all else fails, deflect (hiding Belphie in the attic). Note that deflecting doesn't even work, not really. Diavolo has the ability to tell when someone is lying. Lucifer thinks, in early season 1, that he can get past this, but as Diavolo reveals later on - he never could. Diavolo knew how and why Belphie was imprisoned since the start. In the context of the sandwich, they don't even necessarily need to be into one another at the time (though it'd probably make

the sex scenes more fun). So yeah, I do think they would share nicely as yanderes, given that Diavolo likely feels some ownership over Lucifer himself, and Lucifer would 1000% use that to get what he wanted. There might be tensions - oh, there would be some delicious tension - but they're both probably vitally aware of that your best avenue of escape is to convince one of them to side against the other. Diavolo's probably not unhappy with the arrangement, either. He likes Lucifer, likes being around Lucifer. If Lucifer wanted to watch you have sex, or joined in, out of jealousy on his part, or concern for your safety/consent, Diavolo would probably be into it. Lucifer might be unhappy with it, depending on how yandere he went. But between Barbatos, and the fact that he has his six brothers to be looking out for, too, rebelling against Diavolo is just... not an option. So he'll tell himself he's doing a favor, he'll be understanding and respectful and preen and puff himself up internally over how he's the nice one, he's the good one, he's the better option. And perhaps, if he's feeling particularly vehement, he'll compete with Dia for your attention, for your affection, to be "chosen" for that night, inasmuch as you have a choice. When Lucifer competes... he tends to win. Even against Diavolo. Until, of course, Dia decides there isn't any competition anymore. Dia might take it well enough before he starts venting his frustrations on you, getting clingier, or more touchy, or more demanding of your time, perhaps giving Lucifer more work; ultimately, even if Lucifer is an option, you only really have a choice when Dia decides you do. And of course, Lucifer's own options become limited when Diavolo decide to restrict him, too. Least of all his ability to see you, spend time with you - and to receive your affection. If Diavolo prods Lucifer to get more actively involved in this "shared relationship", instead of just with you... that's really the only leverage Lucifer can get. The dynamics between Diavolo and Lucifer, even in canon, are complicated, and even more so when MC comes into the picture. Keep in mind, I'm almost exclusively interested in Reader/Character pairings! I want to self-insert and enjoy some good old self-indulgence like everyone else! But I think a lot can be gained by broadening the focus a bit. Especially concerning sandwiches and moresomes - I think that's sort of the point of most of those! Even between ships like say - Lucifer/MC/Mammon, where the other two characters aren't being shipped, a lot of the appeal for me is the idea of Lucifer and Mammon both desperately wanting their brother to be happy - and trusting that brother with the love of their life. I feel like a lot of writers want to keep the focus on the reader, "you", and they're afraid to add background or other relationships in there, in case readers feel threatened/jealous. I'm gonna go ahead and be absolutely savage here and say fuck that idea. Readers don't know what they want. I'm a writer and I barely know what I want a lot of the time! And readers who do know what they want can always just click away! That's what tags are for! Go nuts! Go CRAZY! Give them a little bitterness, a little sourness - these things can make the sweet parts better, not worse! Of course there's always a balancing act, but often times ideas like "Diavolo has feelings for Lucifer AND you" will take you to fun and exciting places, and you'll end up writing more, enjoying yourself more! (I do mean this in a hypothetical way, not speaking to anyone specifically. Sorry anon if this isn't what you wanted to hear about, but I just go nuts sometimes lmao)

[bassiter2]

it's unlikely to be outright said in s2 but i feel like it would make sense for ed's Kraken era to be the one that he gets the most physically intimate with izzy that they've ever been.

i am in the camp of them having had sexual encounters before but that it's likely been years since their last by the time stede comes along, and the encounters they did have were of the let's not mention this again sort. prob more careful than ed and jack's era of wrestling until it seamlessly becomes horny and maybe some "let's see who can knock the most bottles off the deck with the whip, winner gets to suck the loser's-- i mean loser has to suck the winner's dick" type Dalliances.. but still without the notion of innocent nonviolent affection. and sparse. at the time, neither of them but least of all izzy could have let some idea that these encounters were on purpose or had forethought or came from desire hold in the air. with them it's just the occasional culmination of their power dynamics that's inevitable but unpredictable.

BUT now that ed knows what it's like to have mutual real intimacy, the desperation for it is only gonna be stronger even while he tries to indulge in nothing but rage and pain. and i think that, because he's indulging so hard in rage and pain, that combo is gonna make him pursue the precise kind of rough and maybe even sadistic sexual intimacy that the not-so-repressed part of izzy thinks he wants. bc at this point ed's likely feeling "well i'm never gonna have it all nice and loving, i'm not made for that, i can't keep holding out for it, so i might as well take what's been right in front of me."

and unfortunately (fortunately) i think that finally recieving the one thing that he's had the least problem admitting to himself that he wants re: gay intimacy with ed... could be the very thing that helps izzy come to terms with the real desires underneath. or at the very least give him some understanding that, masochistic fetishes aside, he's still not getting what he really wants. that perhaps years ago there was hidden real desire on ed's end of their once-in-a-blue-moon trysts, but ironically now that izzy is - excuse my french - getting ed's dick on the regular, it's genuinely only because of ed's desire for someone else that he just can't have. that it's too late. that he is being settled for.

and maybe (HOPEFULLY!!) that would subsequently be something (if not THE thing) that pushes izzy toward having more of a sense of self outside of ed and a grip on what he really wants and an UNrepression of his need for mutual love and affection just like everyone else :')

[nxrthmizu]

Second Place ; Miya Osamu.

fandom | haikyuu!!

pairing | miya osamu x fem!reader

w.c | 2.2k

genre | fluff

warning(s) | slightly suggestive, implied sexual content

author's note | i've been wanting to write this for a while! so here it is <3 it's not beta read and I didn't use a lot of metaphorical filling so it's not that poetic but eh Idc bc ✨ self indulgence ✨

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Once upon a time, Miya Osamu swore that he would never settle for second place again— He was never going to let another Miya score first place while he stood in the shadows. The twins had split paths after graduation, stepping onto stages where they'd never have to compete against each other for the spotlight again.

... Okay, who was he kidding. He'd be compared to Atsumu for his whole life— It wasn't like a different career would change that. Besides, his aunts were way too bored to not spin up something about him and his brother during family gatherings.

"Atsumu's making more money, isn't he?"

Well duh, he was a professional volleyball player, of course he made more money— Osamu wanted to roll his eyes in front of his aunts to make sure they understood that he heard their hushed whispers— But then again, he was an adult now, and he knew better than to stoop that low.

The comforting grip you had on his wrist also helped.

Things did get slightly better for him, though.

"Atsumu, your brother's already married," Osamu overheard his second aunt say to his twin during his wedding reception, "When are you going to settle down?"

The grey-haired Miya couldn't help but have a grin on his face for the entire night. Granted, the fact there was a silver ring on your finger also helped. You were absolutely radiant that night, and Osamu couldn't have been happier to finally be able to introduce you as his spouse.

Osamu's marriage did tilt more pressure towards his twin's way, because not more than half a year later, Atsumu caved in and found a sweet little thing to share his life with. The setter had had a couple flings here and there in his earlier years— But none of them ever lasted that long, and Atsumu had never introduced them to his brother, which is how Osamu knew that his twin really cared about the girl when the golden-haired man visited Onigiri Miya with her hanging on his arms.

If he didn't have the decency to help his brother maintain a good image, Osamu would've straight-up snorted at how tense his twin was when he served onigiri up onto their table, the shop empty with the exception of one table. It was almost like Atsumu was seeking Osamu's approval— Which was hilarious enough without the fact that the setter was nervous about it.

At the end of the night, it was as if the weight of the world was lifted off Atsumu's shoulders. Kaoru— The name of Osamu's potential sister-in-law— Got along wonderfully with you, who kept the shy-but-bright woman entertained as Osamu dragged his twin into the kitchen to make fun of him.

"Oh, go easy on him," You elbowed him lightly as the two of you closed up the shop for the night, wiping down the tables and tucking the chairs in. "Atsumu genuinely cares about her, he's making an effort!"

Osamu let out the snort he had held in for most of the evening. "I wouldn't be his brother if I didn't make fun of him."

"Boys." You muttered, just loud enough for him to hear. You had been around to catch the tail-end of some of Atsumu's previous relationships, so you could tell that Kaoru was different; In a way, Atsumu looked at her the same way Osamu eyed a nice piece of mackerel in the grocery shop.

"I heard that! C'mere," Osamu grinned, tackling you from the back. A smile burst across his lips when a giggle erupted from your lips, a cloth rag smacking him in the face when you tried to wriggle away from his hold. "You aren't getting away, pumpkin. Save your energy for later."

He wriggled his eyebrows suggestively, yelping when he was smacked with the rag again.

"There won't be a later if you keep that up." You warned, laughing when horror instantly swept over his expression. His protests echoed in your ears as you thought about how this marriage was something you'd never regret. Yes, it was rough because his business took off on a rocky road, but you knew there was no gain without pain, so you hung on and saw him through to the fruits of his labour.

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The next family meeting was graced with the presence of Kaoru, who, in turn, had been graced with your advice.

"Dress decently, do not wear black," You had warned her the night before on the phone, grimacing at the memory of your first Miya family dinner. No one had aunts more judgemental than the Miya twins. "I would suggest going with a dress. Oh, and it might help to bring a gift. A bottle of Ginseng Wine might be a good idea."

"We're here," Osamu parked the car outside the family home, subconsciously wincing at the sight of his aunts' vehicles. "... Ah. They’re here."

"I see they turned up early," You grimaced, "Atsumu and Kaoru-chan are going to have a brilliant night."

"Yup." Your husband grinned slightly at that, earning a smack for smiling at his brother's suffering. "Oh, he'll be fine. We'll mention that when Atsumu really needs saving." The wink he sent your way made your stomach butterflies flutter, but the warm touch of his fingers on your hand made them settle. "We'll be fine," Osamu's eyes softened as he met yours, reassuring you. "You've got me, remember? Worst case scenario, we'll just high-tail out of there and say we need to work tomorrow."

"Right," You released a breath of relief, interlocking your fingers with his. "Ready?"

"To see Atsumu suffer?" Osamu quipped. "Hell yeah."

And suffer did Atsumu. Kaoru wasn’t spared (of course she wasn’t—) and was judged from head-to-toe by the Miya's critical aunts. From the way they were eyeing her, you'd think they were the judges of Miss Universe instead of potential aunt-in-laws. Despite that, Kaoru braved the storm and stood strong through the whole night, her resilience shining with her determination to be with the other Miya twin— Osamu nodded his approval at that.

After dinner, the family gathered in the living room, with the elderly seated on the cushioned couches while the twins were squashed together on a bean bag (that you had to convince them to share, because apparently they were adamant about pushing the other off of it). Kaoru and you managed to snag a small corner of a couch, stifling your laughter at the sour faces of your respective significant others.

"So, Kaoru-san," Four heads collectively flinched when the aunt opened her mouth, "What's your job? Yearly salary?"

"Um, I'm... I'm a newspaper editor," Kaoru fidgeted with the strap of her bag while you resisted the urge to snap at her to look as confident as she could if she didn't want the interrogation to go on for the rest of the night. A shy, nervous thing like her would only make the predator's lick their lips at the sight of easy prey.

"Oh! That makes sense," The woman sneered, Osamu's mother not-so-discreetly turning up the volume of the television in hopes that the conversation would be drowned out. "You definitely dress with the salary of an editor."

Offence flashed across Atsumu's face like lightning, but before he could start a fight to defend his girlfriend's honour, Osamu dragged his brother back onto the bean bag and stood up.

"Excuse me, everyone," Osamu put on his practiced customer-service smile flawlessly, capturing everyone's attention instantly. "Y/N and I have an announcement to make." His eyes met yours, and you nodded, a smile waltzing across your lips.

"Mother, father," You begin, addressing your in-laws like you addressed your own parents. Encouragement swirled in your blood as Osamu interlocked your hands and squeezed your fingers. "You're going to be grandparents."

It took a while for the news to kick in.

"Oh, that's wonderful!" Osamu's mother cried out, rushing to envelop you in a hug that you gracefully accepted. "Do you know the gender yet?"

"Of course not, mother." Osamu rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "We're not that far along yet."

"That's amazing! Congratulations!" Kaoru beamed brightly, not having picked up on Osamu's timely intervention.

"Thank you." You replied warmly.

"Well then, are you going to stop working?" The first aunt shot at you, smirking, coy as ever. She knew that you weren't the type to drop your job just because of an incoming child.

"Of course not." You replied easily, "What kind of spouse would I be if I couldn't help carry the financial burdens with my husband?"

She shut her trap instantly, huffing in fury. Osamu had never looked prouder.

The family rejoiced for a little longer, and from the tip of your ears, you heard Osamu gloating slightly about having reached another milestone earlier than his brother.

"I love you," Your husband murmured into the crook of your neck as the two of you cuddled in the warmth of your bed, too far for his aunts' sharp words to hurt you. "And our little boy in there.”

“How do you know it’s a boy?”

“... Father’s instinct.”

Months flew by in a blur, and so did doctor appointments, Sunday shopping trips with Kaoru as you left Atsumu to help Osamu in the restaurant. The pair would drive the half-an-hour trip from Osaka to Hyogo every weekend. This arrangement elicited a couple silly arguments between the twins, of course, but once you taught Kaoru the stern look that would make the two settle like guilty puppies with their tails between their legs— Those arguments became simple matters to handle.

“Have you thought of names yet?” Kaoru asked you while the two of you sipped on coffee.

“I have a couple in mind,” You smiled. “Osamu won’t stop going on about how he was right. The baby’s a boy.”

“Boys will be boys,” Kaoru rolled her eyes. Then, her expression changed to a wistful one. “This might sound odd, but… I just find myself thinking, sometimes… One day, I want what you and Osamu have.”

“... A happy marriage?” You raised an eyebrow, “Honey, you’re already on your way to one. Atsumu looks at you the same way ‘Samu looks at a bowl of gyudon. Or the way I look at a bucket of mint ice cream with peanut butter…”

Kaoru made a concerned look. “The baby sure craves some odd things.”

“You’ll experience this one day.” You returned pointedly. “Logically, I never would’ve thought of eating mint chocolate ice cream with peanut butter slathered on… But cravings are cravings. And it was surprisingly nice.”

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After nine long months of waiting, Miya Tomohito was welcomed to the world. Osamu cried (Atsumu made fun of him for it before getting smacked by Kaoru— She was learning a lot from you). Both yours and Osamu’s parents wouldn’t stop gawking at your baby boy, with his little tuff of dark hair, his tightly-fisted hands and the slight cherry-red flush of his cheeks. You never thought you’d fall in love at first sight— But your son was living proof that you were wrong. From the first moment you held him in your arms, you had already given a piece of your heart for him to hold in his tiny little hands.

It quickly became a regular sight for frequent customers of Onigiri Miya to see Osamu walking around the shop, a sleeping baby boy strapped to his back. The two were inseparable. Once, you walked in on your husband having a full conversation with Tomohito, who was sucking on a spoon.

“I’m thinking of adding a twist to my tuna onigiri recipe,” Osamu said, as if he were talking to an adult and not a three-month old baby. “Do you think adding a squeeze of lemon juice will make it taste better?”

“Gwa.” Tomohito replied intelligently.

“Great suggestion, Tomo.”

“Mmm.”

“I see. We could go to the grocery store later to get some tuna and try that recipe tonight.”

“Ba.”

“You’re a genius, Tomo.”

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“I can’t believe you.” Osamu looked helpless. “You’re not… You’re not seriously doing this to me.”

“I’m completely serious.” You said firmly, having put your foot down with no room for argument.

“You’re really choosing him over me?” Your husband’s jaw dropped when you nodded solemnly. “I’m your husband!”

“And he’s my son.” You shot back instantly.

“You’re kicking me out of our bed for our son?”

“He’s sick!” You refuted. “I need him to be as close as possible to me. His fever hasn’t gone down completely yet and I can’t let him go back into his cot tonight. Besides, you might get sick if we all sleep in the same bed. Who’ll take care of the shop then?”

Osamu drooped visibly. He couldn’t believe what was happening— He had lost to a Miya once again— Now his son instead of his brother. “Fine.” He mumbled sadly. “Make your poor husband sleep on the couch.”

“It’s only for one night, ‘Samu.”

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Tomohito's name is written as 智仁. '智' means intelligence and '仁' means compassionate. I have a friend named Tomohito.

Also, when I was writing this I reminded myself to make sure I made the reader gender-neutral. That is, until I realised that I made the reader pregnant. I am an idiot.

haikyuu!! gen taglist: @haru-senji @hikari-writes @whootwhoot @folkloeren @definitely-yours @rirk-ke @animegirlweeb @cemeiia @haikyuushuffle

[binniesthighs]

telepatía | reader x binsung

a/n: hi cuties! hope ya’ll are are staying seggsy and cozy! ;) this piece is 100% self indulgent (hehe) as well as my first time writing a poly r/ship! since i’m new at it, any and all feedback is super super appreciated!! <3 

telepatía | changbin x reader x jisung 

~aka, my love note to binsung~ 

Pairing: self insert, seo changbin x female reader x han jisung 

Genre: fluff n’ smut 

Tags: poly relationship, long distance r/ship au, established r/ship au, inspired by a song au, comfort fic, lil bit emotional but that’s bc they are in looove, idiots in love, softdom!binnie, hardswitch!reader, softsub!jisung, mentions of food, explicit language, masturbation (f), dirrrrty talking, hehe soft love makin’, lowkey size and corruption kink, unprotected sex, oral (m&f), face sitting, penetration (piv and anal), double penetration (f), nipple play (m&f), fingering (f), squirting, marking, multiple orgasms, creampie, ahhh soft n’ intimate body touching, cockwarming, shower aftercare, i am so sorry i got sooooo carried away teehee 

Word count: 7.9k 

Recommended listening: telepatía by kali uchis 

Two months. Two months that had felt like eternity. 

Your pen tapped at the table to your desk as you watched the minutes pass by. To your right, your desk calendar with your little countdown smiled at you with the little doodles had drawn along with the stickers that you had decorated there. 

Five more days! 

The golden hour of the day passed by outside your window upon the city that you had been calling home for the past two months. It was gorgeous. Unreal even. Studying abroad had been harder than you had expected--although it was often exciting at other times too. There was not a day that passed when you had regretting doing it, but there were other days when you had wished you could just transport yourself right back home; even if it meant it would be for only a couple hours of so. 

During nights like these, your cramped little studio felt even more empty than usual. The colors of gold and pink would smear in the skyline along with pale pink clouds that looked softer and lusher than anything else in the world. In the springtime, the budding and green trees lined the outside of the apartment complex and birds twittering past would flutter their wings outside of your window cracked open slightly. As the days went by, the air warmed and became more humid, and smelled of luxurious primrose and hyacinths. 

Your room was dimly lit by your desk lamp, and you hadn’t bothered to turn on any other light. Pages wrinkled, and your sense of loneliness came creeping in like the cold winter that the new season had now just chased away. You didn’t want the feeling to linger, but you couldn’t help but let it. 

The sheets of your bed were cozy, much like the rest of the way that you had decorated your studio. The cream colored covers felt like silk on your legs, but where nothing compared to the touch that you craved. 

Your phone clicked on with it’s blue-white light, showing your screensaver: a beautiful sunset image of that last walk that you had taken of the two of them before you had left. 

If it were possible, you imagined that missing one person was enough to shatter a heart, but two people? 

You hugged your phone to your chest, feigning some semblance of a hug to the two of them. Your nose sniffled as it grew more stuffed, and you let your suppressed sobs fill up the space of the room. 

You were convinced that you must've been the the luckiest or the unluckiest person in the whole world: two loves of your life, two people to share it all with had been like a dream come true. It was finally something that felt like it made sense. But, to be so closely tied to two people, meant that being away from them hurt two times as much. 

You imagined them with you in your room: they loved to sandwich you in the middle of them. This was their favorite place to have you. Nothing had been warmer and safer than that. Arms and legs would be all tied together in a way that made little sense, and both of their quiet breathing would tickle at the skin of the back of your neck and your forehead. If there was anything that you had guessed you missed most, it would be falling asleep with them. “I love you’s” would be whispered, and all space between you dissapear once the down comforter would be pulled to your noses. 

No matter how hard you pretended that they were there, it was never the same. 

[it takes three to make a thing go right] binnie, sungie, me 

binnie: have you had dinner yet? please don’t forget! 

jisung: [see image] this is what we’re having for breakfast! we wish you were here with us! 

With shaking fingers you opened the picture to view Jisung’s attempts at cooking. He had been getting into it these days. You had almost wished sometimes that you had been there to try whatever he had concocted--even if it didn’t taste the best. Today it looked like he had tried to make fluffy pancakes with strawberries and cream...but they didn’t end up as fluffy as they should’ve been. Changbin was in the background of the picture making a couple finger hearts. Undoubtedly Jisung had asked him to do it for the picture: Changbin was more of the no-nonsense and stoic type with somewhat of a goofy edge. You and Jisung always knew how to make him melt. “You two are my weaknesses you know?” 

sungie: don’t stay up too late either! finish strong before you come back, okay? 

binnie: we really can’t wait to see you, five days can’t come soon enough. 

You sniffled, sitting up. Had they been there then, they wouldn’t have liked to see you cry. Although your heart stung with a sharp pain seeing them so happy together, you brought yourself back together. You knew exactly how it would’ve been: Jisung would dry your tears gently, then cuddle right up under your arm to nuzzle into your shoulder. Behind the both of you, Changbin would spread his arms wide so both of you could be wrapped up in him. 

me: i really miss you both. i miss you so, so much. i can’t wait to see you on Friday. don’t have too much fun without me until then :) 

binnie: you kidding? we’re miserable without you!! i think that we’re both going crazy. 

sungie: he’s right!! it feels so weird, it always has been these past months. 

we’re not complete without you, y/n. we miss you too sooooo much. 

and you know that bin gets crabby sometimes. when it’s just me around... 

bin: hey! the hell you mean crabby?! i’m a frickin angel!!! 

The way that you could read each of their messages in their voices brought you comfort, and you giggled a little reading the words. 

sungie: relax! i’m just trying to make her laugh. did i succeed?

me: you did sungie. :) 

bin: you forget that i’m sitting right next to you sung, you’re playing a risky game. 

sungie: ooooh he talks such big talk, are you seeing this y/n? do you see what i mean? plz come back and save me!!! 

bin: HEY 

me: binnnnn go easy on sungie. 

bin: i do!!! 

i only go rough when he asks me too ;) 

sungie: w o w 

While it did make you laugh, it still hurt a little thinking about how even with you missing, their lives still went on, they ate meals together, went to concerts, movies, out to eat, and, at the end of the day, they still had eachother to cuddle up with to sleep. It hurt even more thinking about how they still had eachother to satisfy other comforts. Of course, you were still involved over the phone and video calls too, but with thousands of miles of distance, your hands alone could never feel as mind-blowing as theirs. 

binnie: there will be plenty of that when you get back too y/n ;) sung has maybe had it too easy. 

me: hmm too easy? 

Jisung send a series of emoji stickers that all conveyed about the same message: oh my god i’m in trouble. 

binnie: anyway, jokes aside, we are really looking forward to friday. sungie and i have been talking about it and we think we just want to spend the night in if that’s okay with you? you’ll be tired too. 

As always, your boyfriends were the most considerate people in likely the whole world. You didn’t really want to be anywhere else, but just with the two of them; as close as you possibly could be. 

me: that sounds perfect. <3 

sungie: get some rest tonight!! in the morning get yourself something nice for breakfast, i can send you some money hehe 

binnie: boyfriend of the year award over here ! ! 

sungie: hey, we’re both boyfriend of the year! duh, she loves us the same??? 

me: that’s very true. 

binnie: pffff

sungie: don’t make me tackle you seo changbin, i am sitting right next to you

binnie: is that a promise? 

me: boys, boys stop fighting, you’re both boyfriend of the year. 

binnie: see? y/n, we’re a mess without you. 

sungie: changbin, you’re my boyfriend of the year too. does that make you feel better? 

binnie: maybe. 

sungie: we’re keeping y/n from getting dinner. we should shut up now. 

anyhoo! 

we love and miss you a lot a lot. take care until friday! we’re almost there!!!! 

binnie: BUT I LOVE HER MORE 

sungie: bin, i love you, but please, shut up. 

binnie: i’m joking!! sungie i’m joking. this is an equal relationship obviously. 

By now, their usual antics had left your tearstained face dry, and the corners of your mouth sore from how hard you had smiled. 

binnie: see you soon! goodnight y/n! 

sungie: night y/n <3 

You clicked your phone closed, then let your weight drop down to your pillow that held the smell of the evening air. 

“It’ll be sooner than you think.” You sighed. 

It was much too nice of a night to be doing homework, so you decided to push it off for just a couple more hours, flicking on your dinky TV set to a local station where they spoke in the language that you had been teaching to yourself for the past couple months. Here and there you could recognize a few words, but you mostly liked it for the noise. 

You pulled your thin sheet over your bare legs, merely enjoying the simplicity of the feeling over your whole body. 

there will be plenty of that when you get back home too. 

we love and miss you a lot a lot. 

Two months for imagining...and you had learned to hone your skill especially, even if it didn’t feel the same. Even though missing them hurt, you could still feel the love from them from thousands of miles away. They had said themselves that they didn’t feel complete without you. 

The silky feeling sheets tickled at the hairs on your arms as your hand teased down your stomach, then toyed with the elastic of your panties under cotton shorts. You blamed it on the night being especially pleasant, or maybe it was just what you and needed at that moment. 

You wondered how much they had missed you, if they thought of you when their hands would run over each other, or perhaps even if they would imagine that you were there with them when they hold each other close, tiny gaps and moans stick on their lips while they would pleasure each other too. You in fact had thought of them: Jisung’s pretty moans and the way that Changbin liked to suck little bites into his neck. 

That spring air hushed into your window with the softness of a song, and curious fingers dipped into your folds and twitching bud which was wet to the touch. Your body jolted at the feeling of your fingers on your suddenly needy clit. Your mind ran wild thinking of the way that both of them had looked beside you, one of their hands dipping under the fabric of your panties and the other lightly twisting at your nipples too. Absentmindedly, your own hand reached to mimic the action on your breast while you remembered. Careful kisses would be pressed into your cheek and neck while they whispered adoring little praises in your ears. 

“You’re so beautiful baby, like nothing else.” 

“We love you so much. My princess, such a good girl for me, hm? You like how our hands look on you?” 

Your body shivered at the memory, and you rubbed circles into your clit, gathering your own sticky slick to rub over the sensitive bud. 

“Yes,” You whispered to the empty room. 

The golden setting sun reflected fractals of tiny rainbows into your room--just as your prism had done hanging in the window back at home. It would reflect on the stucco walls, and the colors would streak on the ceiling. You would catch sight of them laying tangled up in scattered sheets with both of their bodies prowling over you in bare skin. You could trace the curves of their shoulder blades like the edge of perfectly crested waves. A faraway warmth swelled over your body, and you rubbed harshly at your bud craving more and and more. Your legs squirmed under the sheets: much like they would when they would bow their heads to tease at your clit with interweaving tongues, sandwiched between your thighs which they would pull back with starving fingertips. You could almost hear it: the way that your slick would drip over your pussy, and how they would taste it too on each others lips in between. 

Your back arched recalling their praise. They would pull you between them once again, and fill your mouth with adoring kisses covered with multitudes of their love. Jisung would mewl little whines into your mouth, shaking from your hand wrapped around his cock, and Changbin kissed you like you were his reason for breathing: slow, languid, purposeful. He’d sigh out watching the way that you marked up Jisung’s body while pumping himself all the while. 

“Binnie. Sungie.” Their names became your anchor while your rubbed wider, then slower, then faster. Your soaked fingers plunged into your pussy while your head danced with the memories of them filling you up, rolling their hips in as deeply as thye could, kissing into your chest or the crook of your neck. You curved your fingers to tease at your g-spot, but your clit was even more impatient. 

“Do you want to cum for us princess?” 

“I’ll cum for you...” Your breath hitched in that room all by yourself. 

Your fingers wiggled back up to your clit, now hypersensitive from its lack of attention. Instantly, your orgasm built violently behind the twitching bud, and you threw your free arm back to grip into your pillow to steady yourself. Sweat had gathered on the underside of your thighs and on your back: it was a feeling so dirty that it only made your head feel lighter. It was as if they were in the room with you and you could see them clearly: enamored eyes dipped in lust that ate up your form until there was nothing left. 

“C-close.” You shuddered, now with pruned fingers encircling until you drew yourself right to the brink.

You came with a forceful heat that swept over your whole body and sent your hips jerking up into the air and toes digging into the bed. Your incisors bit harshly at your lip, and you stifled your unsteady and high pitched moans the best you possibly could. In your apartment complex, the walls were thin enough for there to be little left to the imagination. 

Your chest shook as you came down and you teased your bud, edging on overstimulation for as long as you could take it. Jisung had liked the way that you would convulse like this and Changbin would relentlessly give little slaps to your aching bud. Once you could take no more, you drew your hand back from the elastic, then you let the euphoria sweep over your body for a few moments of silence and tranquility. 

Yes, you had done it to yourself, but without their help, there was no way that you could’ve shown your body the same kind of fervent love. 

It was as if they could make love to you telepathically, even on this night when the sun was setting, and your bed was empty. 

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

You hadn’t expected yourself to feel nervous meeting them at the airport. Still, your heart pounded in your chest with a ridiculous rhythm. It wasn’t like you had a completely different face or had changed anything about yourself remotely  that would’ve shocked them. Still, a sense of anxiety swelled in you that was unexpected and unwarranted. Perhaps it was because it was so surreal. 

There was something odd about the airport, it was likely how industrial it all felt with chairs that were lined with thin upholstery and carpets that held all kinds of mysterious stains. But, while it was a bit of a undesirable area, it was teeming with excitement. There were patrons at the magazine stands busying themselves flipping through books and laughing at the outrageous titles, people sitting joyously at the little restaurants and several hyper children tugging the hands of exasperated parents with neck pillows clinging to their strained necks. Further down the way, there was the sign illuminated pointing to the pick up area past baggage claim. 

The air smelled overly filtered, but it was still as exhilarating. You took two escalators down and one moving walkway, then the light of the outdoors flooded the area with conveyor belts and the screens above them. 

“Y/n? Y/n!!!!” Jisung’s voice called over the busy sounds of baggage claim filled to the brim with his excitement. 

Before you got a chance to figure out where his voice had come from, your adorable boyfriend came charging at you with arms outstretched and an inhumanly large smile on his face. He scooped you up holding you so tightly that you had to teeter on your tip toes. While Jisung had a bit of a tiny frame, you never would’ve guessed from the scale of his hugs. 

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.” He giggled out the words with a sense of disbelief, and he swung your body back and forth. “Oh my god I missed you sososo much.” 

Another set of arms peacefully wrapped around you and Jisung and squeezed you in even tighter. In one of his hands, the cellophane from a bouquet of pink roses crinkled. “It’s so nice to have you back.” Changbin cooed, then reached to pat your head with his free hand. 

 You blinked back your happy tears the best that you could. The three of you broke, and you looked at both of your boyfriends right in front of you for the first time in what felt like forever. Changbin squeezed Jisung’s shoulder while the boy wiped a couple tears for the corner of his eyes. 

You were biased, but they really were the most beautiful people in the world. 

“I-I missed you both too, more than you can imagine.” 

The two boys beamed, then presented you with your flowers. 

“‘Hope you like pink ‘cause that’s the last color that they had left.” Changbin chuckled, and you nodded profusely. 

“They’re gorgeous.” 

You decided, after two months of not seeing the damn loves of your life, you deserved to kiss them--fuck the glares that you would get.

First you grabbed Changbin by the cheeks to press a smiling kiss right into his surprised mouth, and kiss him like you were a high schooler starved for attention that was forbidden to them. Still, your boyfriend grabbed your face back, rubbing tenderly into your own cheeks. 

You winked to an equally shocked Jisung, “You next.” 

You kissed the stutters away on his lips, and then ran giddy lips over his which cracked with a smile so wide it made it a little hard to kiss him. He wrapped both of his arms around you to pull you in close and you ruffled up his caramel blond hair the best you possibly could. Beside you, Changbin chuckled out proudly. 

You had closed your eyes to kiss both of your boyfriends like they deserved. If someone had stared, well...you didn’t see it. 

Jisung was out of breath after your parted, then pushed up his glasses in his surprise. 

“That was....” 

“--Lets get home!!” You shined with a smile, then took off in front of them. “Are you coming or not??” 

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Jisung decided not to subject you to his home cooking, regardless of the fact that you had said that you wanted to try it. You had ordered take-out, and ate it picnic style on the floor to your living room in front of the TV playing a movie that none of you payed attention to. Regardless of the fact that your jet lag had hit you like a truck, your pure adrenaline upon seeing them kept your eyes from becoming weary. 

The normal questions had been asked: how are you classes, how is the food there, what are the people like, what is your apartment like, have you made friends etc. You asked Changbin about how his classes were going, and how Jisung’s part-time job at the café was and about the silly little things that you used to do as three, but they now had to as two. The consensus was that doing anything as two was strange and even a little awkward at times because they had gotten so used to having you around. 

Changbin cleared the dishes, making space for you to make up your little pillow fort that you would do at times. “It felt like there was a piece missing from us. It was...really hard sometimes too.” 

“It was for me too. Out there all alone...I had never realized that a bed meant for one person would be like, the saddest thing that there is on this earth.” 

“Small bed no more!” Jisung piped, then proceeded to wrap both his arms and legs around you the best he could. “Also small shower no more.” He nuzzled into your chest. 

One of the selling points of the apartment that you shared was actually the comically large shower that it came with. During the first few weeks after you had moved in, it was as if the three of you were physically incapable of taking a shower without the others being there. Changbin joked that it was as if they had made it just for the three of you in some kind of destined way. 

“Hmmm well, I think that we should make use of that as soon as possible.” 

Jisung let out a happy little hum in agreement then angled himself up to plant a couple quick kisses on your mouth and nose. Changbin threw down your array of pillows and other blankets, draping them over chairs to make a little tent like the three of you were toddlers hidden away in your secret place. 

“Sungie sandwich!!!” Jisung suddenly gasped out, “Binnie come on!!” 

Changbin scoffed, “I guess it has been a while...can’t say no to that.” 

Jisung squealed and the two of you made space for your boyfriend to come slide himself on the other side and make a proper “Sungie sandwich.” He kissed careful lips into the crook of Jisung’s neck which made the other boy giggle out in a tizzy: not only was he sensitive there, but it would tickle him too. You reached your arms over to tangle your fingers up in Changbin’s dark locks which were just as soft as you remembered. 

“This feels so amazing.” You sighed into Jisung who had crept his hands up your shirt. 

“It does.” Changbin agreed. “We’re complete again.” 

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Small bed no more was right. 

Jisung patted the middle spot, wearing only a white tee and his boxers. 

“Your spot awaits you princess.” 

“Don’t mind if I do!” 

Changbin sauntered over while he brushed his teeth, abandoning the idea of a shirt all together. 

Your eyes widened, “...Bin--” 

“--What?” He smugly smirked. “It’s nothing you haven’t seen before?” 

“N-no.” 

Your other boyfriend scoffed, “He certainly knows that he’s hot, doesn’t he?” 

“He sure does.” Changbin dished out a prideful wink. 

With sarcasm laced in your voice, you turned to Jisung to say, “I’m so sorry you had to deal with that while I was gone.” 

Changbin’s voice echoed from the bathroom “HE LIKED IT!” 

Jisung waved him off, settling to beckon you under the thick and cozy comforter that you had daydreamed of more than once. 

“Are you comfy?” He hushed. 

“Mmhm! Comfiest I’ve been in months.” 

Just as he always would, Jisung would wrap you up so tight that it might’ve been a little suffocating--but it wasn’t like you minded in the slightest. The top of his poofy hair smelled like grapefruits somehow, and you hadn’t realized how much you had missed it. The feeling of your bare legs intertwined, and there was nothing that came close to such a perfect feeling. 

Your other boyfriend clicked off the light, then engulfed the both of you with his rather strong and intimidating arms. You knew for a fact that they were nothing but cuddly and harmless. Being like this with them was what you had missed most, and it was finally yours for the taking. 

“Are you guys asleep yet?” Jisung whispered after approximately five minutes of silence. 

“No,” Changbin murmured. “What is it?” 

“I-I dunno, I can’t fall asleep, I just keep thinking...” 

You flopped over to face him, “What is it Sungie? Everything okay?” 

Your adorable boyfriend stammered, then shied under the comforter in the dark of the room. “I-I don’t know if now is the right time, but...” It was noticeable how his tone had changed; you and Changbin knew it well. Jisung’s pitch would raise and his voice would crack when he wanted something. 

Changbin leaned over to click the light back on. “Sung, you don’t have to be so coy about it. I think that Y/n and I know you better than you know yourself.” 

Jisung’s eyes widened in his embarrassment, “You what??” 

Your headstrong boyfriend sighed, “Use your words Sungie.” 

His cheeks turned rosy, then he peeped, “It’s just that it’s been a really long time and I can’t stop thinking about it, and...Bin and I didn’t really do anything for like a week cause--” 

Your head whipped in Changbin’s direction, “What?” 

Changbin nodded solemnly saying, “Let him finish.” 

“--C-cause I wanted us to wait for when you came back so it could be like, extra special? Or...something like that.” He threw the blanket over his head. “It sounds so dumb when I say it out loud.” 

You really didn’t deserve someone like Jisung. Not in this lifetime or the next. You felt your limbs practically turn to jelly to hug your shy boyfriend. 

“It’s not dumb!! Not at all!! I think that it’s so sweet! You wanted to wait for me? Oh, baby...” 

With the blanket pulled back, you held his glistening eyes with yours. He really was irresistible when he would get like this. 

“I’m assuming that you wanna stop waiting, hm?” 

Changbin joined you in leaning over the shiest of you three, then shrugged down the cotton of your loose t-shirt to paint kisses into your shoulder. In the chill of the room, the warmth contrasted beautifully. 

“Yes or no Sungie? Because I defin--” 

“--Yes! Uh--I mean, yes, but--only if you aren’t too tired or if you want to.” 

“Sungie, how can I say no to you?” You bowed your neck to press loving little kisses into his lips which still tasted faintly of mint. He immediately give into you, grabbing out to hold your neck firmly as you did so. His hips squirmed slightly, as did his legs--he always was such an impatient baby. 

Changbin scooched in closer to caress down your back as you filled your boyfriend with every single kiss that you had been waiting months to give him. 

His voice was as soft as velvet, and full of his immense love for the two of you. Seeing both of you like this made him swell with such as sense of admiration, it was as if it was a high for him. “We’ll take care of you Sungie, we’d love to.” 

Even from Changbin’s praises, Jisung’s whole body would shiver, and you could feel it on your tongue too when you had politely asked for him to allow you entrance. 

Jisung set to work pulling your shirt up over your arms once you turned to Changbin to kiss over him roughly. He had liked it more that way: a collision of lips and teeth grazing over the softer parts of your mouth, gasps getting caught in between and the heat of tongues twisting as if you were as sweet as honey. As soon as you were rid of your shirt two sets of hands greedily crept up your body to twist and pull at your nipples which had hardened in seconds. Your head fell to Changbin’s shoulder while they teased and flicked at your sensitive buds until they hurt. 

“She’s so pretty, isn’t she?” Changbin growled, then cradled your head to lay you down. 

“The prettiest.” Jisung agreed, then hooked his fingers under the lacy part of your underwear that you might’ve worn with the purpose of them not staying on you for long. In return, you tugged at both of their waistbands for them to do the same. Cloth hit the bedside floor, and all that was left was Jisung’s shirt which you pulled off yourself. You only had a couple moments to look in the dim lighting of the room, but both of them had already dripped lightly with pearly drips of pre-cum and their hardening dicks throbbed against the mattress. Not only was it a heavenly sight to behold, but you knew that both of them were entirely for you. 

Changbin leaned down to flick his tongue around your hardened bud, then used his hand to kneed at your other breast with his powerful grasp. Jisung pulled your face towards him with hungry little whimpers that tickled your bottom lip, so you returned the favor by pulling his with your teeth. He recoiled beautifully from the feeling, and you saw your prefect window to slither down his body and wrap your hand around his pink cock. At first, you grazed your thumb over his slit roughly. 

“Did you miss my hand on your cock Sungie? Look at you...so hard for me, so worked up...do you want it that bad, baby?” 

“Y-yes, p-please...” 

Changbin kissed his way up your neck from your breasts sparkling from his saliva, then sucked love bites onto your collarbones and the soft parts of your neck. “Angel, I want to see you with Sungie’s dick in your mouth, can you do that?” 

You nodded, reveling in Changbin’s instructions. There was something about being told exactly what to do that made you feel so pliable. Changbin knew it well. You then worked kisses down your boyfriend’s body, pausing for a moment to flick your tongue over his nipples in the way that made his whole chest flush with pink. He laughed out in his pleasure with an airy breath too. You kissed gently at first, teasing your lips over, then sucking harshly with a trailing of teeth. His back arched, and he let out a delightful “ah-fuck!” 

You finished by peppering other little marks on his chest which faded from pink to violet in a matter of seconds. 

“Babyboy, you wanna taste my cock too?” Changbin greedily rose to kneel, then pumped his fist with tiny trailing breaths. 

Jisung’s eyes turned into full moons at the sight, then nodded excitedly while angling himself correctly. You and your boyfriend exchanged prideful little glances over the other’s eagerness. The pads of your fingers traced down Jisung’s thin frame, ghosting over his flaring abs and drawing little scribbles into his ribs. Your perfect position was set between this quivering thighs which welcomed you easily, and you took his deliciously pink cock in your hand to tease at him with thick stripes. You gathered saliva on your tongue so he could feel it, then used another hand to pump at him too. 

Jisung flattened out his tongue to swirl it around his boyfriends angrily red tip and maintained eye contact as Changbin preferred. As the smallest boy dipped his head in closer, Changbin entangled his fingers with those gorgeous caramel trellises. He sighed out at the feeling of his cock hitting the back of Jisung’s throat, and groaned out lowly once he heard the other choke on it lightly. 

“Fuck baby. Just like that..” 

You then took in Jisung’s length as deeply as you could: and it was no easy feat. Where Changbin dominated in girth, Jisung made up for in length. The action sent Jisung whining helplessly on Changbin’s dick, which only drove the other boy further into his passion. 

“You take me so well Sungie.” He cooed, and pulled out for Jisung to catch a few desperate gasps. 

Your saliva gathered in the corner of your mouth, and you licked it up and down the sides of Jisung’s cock-- but only for a few moments. You swallowed him down, pushing down the back of your throat just as you had long learned how to do. Merely feeling the weight of him in your mouth sent your pussy throbbing and your legs twisting for some kind of sensation. Of course, Changbin had noticed. 

“Open your legs sweetheart.” 

You did as you were told, and his thick fingers came journeying through your soaked folds, and he toyed with your clit and slicked his fingers with your arousal. His index and middle finger circled around you: it was a sensation that you had dreamed of endlessly. 

“Mm, Bin...” You moaned onto Jisung’s cock. 

“Pretty pussy of yours must’ve missed this, hm? My fingers fucking your wet little cunt? I missed it too...” 

You tried your best to maintain your strength once you had returned to sucking off Jisung’s dick, but you only seemed to unravel further. He rutted his hips into your mouth needily--an action which teased at your gag reflex, but you were stronger than that. 

Jisung’s own slobber fell down the side of his neck which Changbin held, just so he could feel the way that he filled up his boyfriends throat. With his other hand, he dipped it further inside your pussy, fucking you slowly at first. You knew that he loved the way that your slick sounded on his fingers. In response, your helpless moans vibrated on your boyfriend’s dick. 

“Y/n, I want your mouth too.” Changbin asked gravely with hooded and darkened eyes. You knew what you had to do next. His fingers slipped out from you, and you loathed feeling so empty, but you weren’t one to disobey him either. 

Changbin made space for you to lay on your stomach next to Jisung and then tapped his wetted dick on your lips as well, leaving Jisung gasping next to you. 

“Fucking show me how much you missed me.” 

You took him in, and you had nearly forgotten how sizeable he really was. It was startling, and as soon as you took in his full length, you had to fight back tears over how thick he really was. Regardless, the way that he could stretch you out like this was purely addictive. 

“Oh...fuck--baby...” Your boyfriends voice dropped several decibels. “My babies suck my dick s-so good don’t they?” 

Jisung nodded in his wonder at you, and Changbin dipped his thumb into his mouth afterword. Jisung always did love the taste. 

Changbin caressed your full cheek, “Don’t forget to share.” 

You took a deep breath, then let Jisung take his turn again. As he did so, you resumed your work at jerking off his dripping tip, and he reached to slide between your folds with long fingers. 

With both of your adoring glances, you and Jisung kissed and lapped up the sides of your boyfriend’s dick and his eyes rolled back at the ethereal sight. 

“H-holy sh-shit--” 

Your hips buckled once Jisung let his fingers plunge inside of you and high pitched mewls sent you clawing at Changbin’s hips for balance. 

“W-wait...” Changbin pulled himself away, and you knew that he must’ve been practicing the best restraint he could. “Sungie, you wanna taste her pussy too? Taste how sweet she is?” 

Jisung smiled widely, despite being a bit of slobbery and tear-stained himself. 

“I’ve been waiting for months to!” 

You looked to Changbin for approval. 

“Sit on his face then sweetheart? Wouldn’t you like to ride his face for me?” 

You nodded in your thrill, and the bedsheets crinkled under the sound of the three of you shifting your bodies back into the proper position. 

As it often would, the windows to your room fogged with steam--even though it was a beautiful spring evening. Pillows were strewn everywhere, and some of them nearly fell off the bed. Nevertheless, you had never been cozier wrapped in the clean threads and with your sweating skin pressed against heated bodies.

Jisung firstly kissed at your wet lips, teasing and humming happily into them. He grabbed onto both of your thighs to open you further then pulled your folds apart to kiss directly on your bud--an action which sent you nearly screaming over how intense it all felt. 

“You can be loud for us baby. There’s nothing to be scared of here.” 

It was as if a switch had flipped within you, and each and every lap of Jisung’s tongue felt like the most euphoric sensation you had ever experienced. He looked utterly adorable under you with his pink and juicy tongue running stripes over your clit. Merely watching him like this was enough to bring you to your first orgasm. 

“D-don’t stop S-sung...” You rolled your hips over his lips. 

Changbin had snaked himself farther down Jisung’s body which glistened with a thin layer of sweat. He clicked the bottle of lube, then smoothed it over his length, finally aligning it over the smaller boy. Your hands grabbed out for something to hold onto: one of them within Jisung’s hair, and the other squeezing painfully into the headboard. 

“Rough or slow Sungie?” Changbin laughed out wickedly. 

“R-rough...” Jisung moaned onto your pussy, “H-hard...” 

Changbin entered your boyfriend carefully, and both of them shuddered at the feeling. The room was full of all of your eroticism, and Jisung groaned out loudly at the connection. From the sounds your orgasm drew itself out too, and it was heightened even more when Jisung moved to pump his fingers deeply into you as well. He curved his fingertips in the way that grazed your cervix, and then sent you quivering pathetically over his face. Lower, Changbin dug his fingers into his boyfriends hips slamming into him without pause, and panting haphazardly. 

“C-can yo-you cum for me??” Jisung whimpered in a way that was much too cute for his own good. 

“Yes.” You answered, then fucked your hips over his plush lips and you clenched your teeth hard against your lip “Mm-fingers, Sung--please...” 

Jisung did as he was told, and maintained his pace stimulating your g-spot then, and begging an orgasm out of your body. He himself whimpered like a puppy while he was fucked out. Had you not been focusing on your orgasm, you wished you could see it all happen. 

“Ji--fuck--” Your hips violently shook, and you came with a searing heat that locked your walls tight around his fingers and dripped even further down your shaking thighs and splattered into his delicate features. It didn’t startle him at all, but he merely licked his lips free of your slick. 

“B-Bin--” He gasped out, then you fell down in your aftershocks to watch the way that Changbin spread out your gorgeous boyfriend with sweat dripping down his chest and from his brow. 

“Ride him, baby.” Changbin immediately ordered. “I want you to cum all over his dick, got it?” 

With grabby hands, Jisung pulled you right into his chest once you had straddled him. He played with your nipples for a few fleeting moments as you got situated pushing his cock into your pussy still trembling from your last orgasm. 

It was beautiful how he could fill you up like this. It was intimacy incomparable a closeness that only you had shared with him. In fact, he had actually been somewhat of a virgin when the three of you had met, and both you and Changbin were his first time. Knowing that he had only shared this part of himself with you and your boyfriend felt intoxicating in a way. 

You flicked your hips over his length, and focused your strength on fucking him slowly compared to how relentless Changbin kept his pace at. 

“I love you baby. Jisung, I love you so much.” You held his gaze. 

Two tears fell from his cheeks--not out of sadness, but of his pure love for you. 

He begged with a quivering lip, “Please kiss me.” 

And you did. You kissed Jisung like he was as fragile as flower petals that could break with the smallest tear. You kissed his lips as sweet as candy and you kissed the last bits of your arousal away on the corners of his mouth. 

Still, “Harder...” He begged, and your hips dipped lower and quicker over him. 

“Want me to fuck you harder babyboy?” 

Changbin threw his hands on your shoulders, then ran them down your spine to feel the way that you moved over Jisung’s dick. 

“Want us to fuck you until you can’t say any more?” You tutted. 

“Fuck, Sung, you feel so--” 

“G-gonna make me cum-ngh!” 

Changbin angled the boys hip up a bit further, and the sound of skin on skin filled the room. 

You sang out the phrase, “~I didn’t hear you say it Sungie~” 

Jisung’s face screwed up, and he gasped out loud enough for the neighbors to likely hear, but that didn’t matter in the slightest. 

“Fuck me please.” 

The thickness of the air in the bedroom clouded, and you fucked your beautiful boyfriend with your tightening walls as hard and as fast as you could, right until you brought yourself to the brink of another trembling orgasm, right over his dick. Changbin gifted a stinging slap to your ass then bit kisses into your shoulder right as you came undone for the second time, and Jisung’s eyes rolled to the back of his head once he came inside you at the very same moment. Your velvet walls tightened around his ribbons of cum inside and you collapsed against his gasping chest to warm him after his release. 

Changbin set himself loose, groaning out loudly as he came too, and shook with delighted laughter that was mixed up in his happy little “oh’s.” and the hitch of his breath. His restless hands caressed every inch of your body that he could as he brought himself down, finally bowing down to kiss right into your shoulder blades and back. Jisung called out his boyfriend’s name too while he shook around him. 

You coaxed yourself free of Jisung’s dick and Changbin wondered in the way that Jisung and made a creamy mess of your pussy. He then did the same watching how his seed spilled out of Jisung as well. 

“Wow.” 

The three of your sweating bodies clambered flat onto the mattress and the room fell quiet, leaving space for your breaths and the way that the spring evening sounded outside of your window: distant car horns, the hush of the breeze, the ebb and flow of the early arrival of cicadas. 

“Are you okay?” Changbin asked the both of you with worried hands running over both of your sweating forms. 

“Y-yeah. I am.” You smiled. 

Jisung shied his flushed face with one of the bedsheets. “Me too.” 

“I think...if you’d like, maybe the three of us could kind of, sorta, I dunno, stay connected for a little bit?” Changbin smoothed down the little hairs on your arm with the gentlest touch. 

“If Y/n wants to?” 

You exhaled peacefully into both of your boyfriends arms, and gave them a little hum to say yes. Changbin carefully wetted his dick with your slick, then guided himself into you pussy with his half hard dick, and it felt like a dream. Jisung too took a bit of lube in his hand as well, then pumped his dick with a shiver to then slide himself into your ass. The two of them swept over your body with light and fleeting kisses to your neck, shoulders, cheeks, nose and lips. You stayed the same: wonderfully full, and so close to them that it must’ve been unreal. While it hurt a little how they had stretched you out, you wiggled your hips still to feel even more of it. Your boyfriends sighed out at the feeling. 

“Sweetheart, you do that any more and you’re gonna make us want to fuck you again.” Changbin scoffed. 

“What if I want you to?” You traced the way that his deep brown hair curved over his ear. “What if I want you to fuck me like this...close...slowly...?” 

“Sung?” 

“If she wants to, I want to as well.” 

Changbin held your hips firmly under the blanket, then started his slow thrusts into you with his dick that indulgently grew hard once more. 

He whispered the promise over your lips, “We can do that for you baby.” 

You don’t know how long the three of you had remained as such. Time became nothing of your concern as the night slipped on and both of them took every ounce of their time with you, slowly fucking up into your pussy and ass, the sounds of your slick renewed filled up the room. They brought out a couple more shaking orgasms from your core, each of them followed by careful kisses to soothe your shaking body. 

“Such a good girl for us.” Jisung nibbled into your ear. His hand got tangled with the sheets too where he reached around to twist your nipples between his fingers. 

“How do you want it baby? Do you want it inside?” 

Changbin’s skin filled up your palm, then you slung a leg over his hip so he could hit your g-spot perfectly. 

“P-please?” 

“Of course. Sung?” 

“--Mm-m’ close too.” 

A few more moments of your symphonic moans, and you unfolded between them: one last orgasm that was so encompassing that you had slipped right into a space so safe, that you felt as if nothing in the world could touch you. Changbin finished off with unexpectedly adorable sounding grunt, and he throbbed within you to the tune of Jisung doing the same. 

“Shit.” Jisung giggled, then nuzzled his head right into the nape of your neck. 

“How was that angel?” 

“Do you even need to ask?” 

The three of you found solace in the skin on skin of it all: three people, three bodies that could be closer than two bodies ever could.  

“Ready to clean off in our big-ass shower?” Jisung wiggled you in his giant hug. 

“Small shower no more.” 

“The problem is, who’s gonna get up first to get the water running?” 

Condensation dripped down the windows, and the curtains blew softly with the spring air invading the room and carrying the smell of flowers and the mist  lingering in grass. 

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Water dripped like rain over the pink of muscles and intermingled with the iridescent drops of soap bubbles which held little rainbows in and of themselves. Hair slicked to the sides of faces, and transparent streams coursed down the simple breaths on rising chests. Steam filled up your lungs, a reminder that it was all real. 

You were here with them. It wasn’t some kind of dream that you had painted while in that room alone with yourself and the buzzing of a TV speaking in tongues that you didn’t know. 

Even though they said nothing, but rather touched your body down, you could hear their thoughts like a melody. 

They loved every bit of you, and it was written on their faces times two. 

~🌹~

Bunch of (Ro)ses! 

@minaamhh @dazzlehoseok @synnocence @jjewibeans @hyunsluvv @unexceptional-h @bobawithchaitea @lechanters @sailorhyunjinz @silencefavarchive @eunaeiekim @julesinthesoop

[shorkbrian]

Prelude - I need to stop catching sight of poetry on my explore page lol. This is entirely self-indulgent and very specific cause I’m rotting thru life rn and so if u dislike I understand lol. When I was in the hospital this last time it sucked rlly bad and like the awful horny degenerate I was I kept thinking abt Kirishima and soft sweet Sugawara idk lol

Pairing - Death god Kirishima x Reader

Warnings - Suicide, suicide attempt, no smut. Death. Drunk Drivers. Yandere but only a little bit and cause I can’t voluntarily accept love it has to be forced bc I cannot handle the thot of someone who is sane loving me bc there is no freaking way lol

Music - https://open.spotify.com/track/5Iy1wdO0tMaHwKnfFYtlel?si=-vqod-W6SHia8ui2Hdl_9g 

Adding this one bc it’s like one of my favorites and I wish god I wish and I hope that this year is better than the last amen lol also there’s nothing more sad to me than someone pleading and begging and crying for the year to treat you nicely like bitch u okay? no. the answer is no.

https://open.spotify.com/track/0xRO7EKgYKVB8zKIoiXMDD?si=HYBaiBzjRGmQwfCHgnTUxA

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“It hurts.” You had told him, as the entity sat at the end of your hospital bed.

He often sank heavily onto the nearest surface, as if his bones ached with the weight of his body. You saw him often during those first few days in the hospital, days spent puking up pills, every move you made monitored, doctors and nurses scolding you about the severity of your actions.

You didn’t think they could see the hulking figure that comforted you.

“I”ve heard that it’s supposed to.” The red god of death would think aloud.

“I don’t want it then.” Tears upon your cheeks, soft, misty. “Take it.”

“Your life?” A nod would affirm his question, but the red god would shake his head. “I am no thief. Not a hunter, simply a gatherer of souls. I won’t take what doesn’t belong to me.”

“Then it’s yours, have my life. A gift, from me to you. Don’t make me live it any longer…..”

His sadness would show in his eyes.

But the soul-crushing hugs that were provided were admittedly a tiny bit nice.

“You’re far too sweet for your own good. I’ll receive your life when the time is right, not before.”

“But I don’t want it!” You sobbed into his shoulder, the god seeming to be your only friend in the world.

Hands stroked along your back, soft shushing sounds as the god attempted to soothe you in the ways he knew how. Soft touches, kind truths. “Many don’t.  But it happens - life happens anyways. All you can do is find the things that make it less painful.”

“That’s not enough, it still hurts. I can’t stand it.” The sobs wracking your body didn’t stop the entity from holding you.

“I know, and I’m sorry.”

——

He’s patient and kind.

Surprising for a god who’s work involves collecting souls as if they were taxes. A job that should be bitter and tiresome, but the entity has infinite softness resting inside of him.

He walks with you, as you get “better“.

You watch him stop to marvel at flowers, to study the way dew drips from trees in little drops, eyes wide and wondering as crows startle from their perches and take off with noisy weeping.

This courtyard is drab and brown, a prison. Safe.

Yet the god of death treats the space gently, with respect. He thanks the old walls for standing, the worn stones beneath your feet. Their service is noted and appreciated. He’s so tender it almost makes you sick.

But you come to realize that he’s simply allowing himself to be vulnerable, to experience the earth and the beings in it.

For as soon as one recognizes vulnerability, which is so different from weakness or tragedy, one experiences a sense of tenderness. Without tenderness, pleasure means nothing. You need only look at the animals to see the truth of that. It is gentleness that distinguishes their playing from the actions they constantly take to ensure their survival.

You ask why he walks with you, why he is so focused on seeing you get “better“.

A soft smile, a meeting of eyes. “There is an end to your pain, sometime and somewhere. It’s most likely not here, not in this place at least-“ and he looks around, at the cold walls, the other sick patients, the staff. All human.

“-It will come. But for now, it’s enough to try and seek it out ourselves.”

You must look more sick than you really are, talking to thin air like that.

——-

Once you return home, the red god writes you letters.

He’s an old soul, an old god. You’re sure if you asked, he’d be able to recount the very first souls he reaped, a man and a woman, sinful and sweet but in love.

The letters help you get out of bed. What new stories or little quips the god has written pique your curiosity, even when you don’t want to move, don’t want to be awake or alive.

He tells you stories about certain souls, how each one is infinitely interesting, how they all interconnect.  How some of them struggle against him, however fruitlessly. But he’s not the one who brought about their death, he’s there to comfort and guide.

Other souls, (“souls like yours” he writes) welcome him, run to his arms like a long lost lover. Their death was terrifying by their own hand, and it hurt. He can’t take away that pain, those memories. The red god says he wishes those souls find peace wherever he must take them afterwards, or at least, some form of contentment.

“The meaning of life is to give life meaning, at least, that’s what seems to be the consensus.” You rip off that part of the letter, hang it on your wall by your bed.  The other letters you keep in your nightstand, content with the knowledge that there are souls out there like you

It’s hard work, creating meaning for yourself.

The red god takes to visiting you between each letter, says he misses you, the way your soul cries. He tells you that he wishes he could help you quiet it, quiet that raging, terrible storm that hurls you about.

You make him cookies - it’s the only way you know how to say thank you. It’s what your mother taught you, so it may not be right, but the god eats them nonetheless. He likes it when you eat with him, feeding you bites from his cookie, wiping chocolate off of your nose, making you laugh with stupid jokes and a mouth stuffed full of cookies.

Even if some of them are too crunchy, or others too soft, all of them imperfect.

Imperfection is the essence of humanity, he tells you, and it’s more fun eating each cookie with the thought that you’re devouring your imperfections, making yourself whole again, filling up the empty spaces in your soul.

——

Eventually, the crawl back to your feet, rise with the unsteadiness of a toddler. You fall frequently, cry often, but you’re able to get up and try again.

Some days you need to bury yourself in sadness, let yourself feel and feel and hurt. Other days are not so bad, but still tinged  with regret and fear and sadness.

The red god is by your side, gives you something to cling to when you waver.

He is always there.

He will be there when you meet your end.

The god is in no hurry.

You question why he wastes his time on you, hours spent reassuring you, talking to you, tucking you in your bed and leaving glasses of water on your nightstand before taking his leave.

Home is a feeling, not a place. Home is with you - that’s what he tells you. You take his breath away, even though he might not even need to breath because he’s the god of death. HIs thoughts muddle and he trips over his feet and can’t help himself from wanting to hold you.

You learn that even gods yearn for home.

He’s capable of feelings and emotions just like any other human. He may be wiser, and older, able to draw from experience and a deep well of wisdom. But he still feels, and feels deeply.

Just as he gives the earth around him such reverence, he extends that same  attitude when he deals with you.

“Everything I see reminds me of you. When I wake and the sun creeps over the mountains, hesitant, it reminds me of the way that you rise - haltingly, yet it happens nonetheless. The flowers in the field that so steadily grow, you’re like ground they take root in, soft and unstable yet still tenable with the potential for growth. I don’t know, I haven’t exactly held such closeness with a human-“

He trails off, but you think you understand.

Maybe you don’t. It’s hard to relate to a god.

——

A confession occurs, and you’re surprised to learn that the blood-red god of death is in love.

“What did my hands do before they held yours? What did my heart do without all of this love? I can’t hold enough of you, I carry such love for you in my heart.”

With a frail, hopeless human nonetheless.

You don’t know what to tell him, how to explain that you can barely take care of yourself right now, meet your own needs.

But the red god seems to know, seems to understand the way your breath hitches and your eyes widen. One more hug, squeezed tight to his chest while he promises nothing has to change.

Things do change, even if you wish them not to. The world doesn’t bow to your whims, nor the death-god’s.

Innocent touches, his hand on your shoulder, patting your head, offering to rub out the tension in your back after you’ve had a crushing day - they don’t feel so innocent anymore.

The constant survellience still seemed kind, and you knew it was with your best intentions in mind that the god hovered so close, invading every aspect of your life.

But a creeping tendril of unease took hold, and you worried.

Everywhere you turned, he would be there, ready to support you, walk you through anything you wished.

Again, you questioned his commitment. Why? Why you?

“I can’t explain how fond of you I’ve grown. How heat blossomed in my chest as we grew closer. There’s infinite things I wish to say to you, ways for me to express my-my love, but I’ll just let you live.”

He neither killed you nor let you live.

Was it frightening? Maybe. But you had nothing to really live for, lost, searching for your own meaning in a big big world, floundering in an endless sea of sadness and suffering. You weren’t afraid of anything the god could, or would, do to you.

Until you woke up, not knowing where you were, in pitch black.

Arms encircling your shoulders, a soft body beneath your own, holding you tightly, a hand caressing your cheek.

A sun rose, on a strange new land, on the blood-red god gazing at you.

“There seemed to be so much more time for you. But accidents happen, Drivers drink and hearts give out. I was expecting you to grow old, for us to live and love like that, see how you grew through life.”

He looked around this new world, and you vaguely remember what had come before.  A walk along the sidewalk, blaring horns, impact, blood.

“But this will be just as nice. You can stay here with me now. Life can’t cause you anymore pain.”

You don’t feel comforted by those words.  There’s no way for you to know whether this new world would be better than the one you left behind.

[ironmandeficiency]

pedro boys + spending habits

word count: fuck if i know, wrote it thru the app

characters: din, marcus m, dave, pero, marcus p, oberyn, max, frankie, whiskey, maxwell, javier, ezra

a/n: idk what caused this to happen but it works i guess. hope they make sense

✨support my ko-fi✨

trust him with your money, your drink, your social security number, everything:

din. this man is barely scraping by on his own when you first meet him. when he adds the kid to the mix, he gets even more frugal than he already is with an old as sin ship that many people are surprised to see fly. he will have a policy of “you earn it, you choose what to do with it” and since he goes after most of (if not all) the bounties to keep you all alive, he has the final say in how most of the credits are spent. he does want you to have nice things though, so he makes sure to configure the budget to where you don’t have to pour your credits into the group’s survival money very often. it’s the least he can do. he’s very big on taking care of his people and will show that in small ways.

marcus m. he’s a single dad for a significant amount of time, he has no choice but to be responsible with his money. he has to take care of missy, keep them both fed and housed and healthy, and that’s not even touching on how expensive all of high school graduation and college will be once she gets there. he teaches missy very early in life how important money is bc he doesn’t want her to ever know how it feels to not have enough. he makes a considerable amount of money w the heroics tho so he can afford to responsibly splurge on you both, but not constantly. is very cautious abt the splurging becoming a habit

dave. yeah he may be a murderer, but he’s scary great at managing his money (to continue being able to murder). he’s got his ex wife’s alimony (that still pisses him off but that’s another story) and two girls he takes care of, there’s no other choice for him either. there’s never a worry about dave having a midlife crisis and spending money on some stupid dad thing (like a motorcycle or assless chaps or a country club membership) because he murders to keep his mind off that sort of stuff. files his taxes diligently every year the day tax season starts and will pass this wisdom to the girls.

pero. he’s very good at judging if you need something or not. if it can’t feed you, keep you healthy, kill someone, or protect you, you don’t need to buy it. definitely not a man who indulges in trinkets and frivolous things that do nothing but weigh down his horse and his person. will encourage this way of thinking with whoever travels with him to whatever extent he can, but won’t be a dick about it if you have something sentimental on your person. if it’s a necessity, he will splurge on a bed and bath at an inn but not much else for a while. cheap because he has to be

marcus p. i don’t think i have to explain this one so i won’t. no i’m not being lazy who said that?

maybe you’ll be fine if he’s in charge. maybe:

oberyn. being a prince (and himself), there are different ways this could go. he spends his money frivolously at brothels & on his daughters + other loved ones (as well as other luxuries) and doesn’t really seem to be the type to keep tabs on it all as he goes. but... he’s a prince in a prosperous kingdom and so there isn’t really a worry for money. he’s known as the red viper for many reasons, including his clever nature and the ease with which he can get what he wants thru whatever means necessary. if you want for something that he can’t buy, you know he will find a way to get it for you (which can be a problem sometimes).

max. he’s good with money in the sense of perpetuating capitalism — that’s the red flag here. hell, he’s gonna be investing into bitcoin and who knows what stock market bs & bc it’s max, of course you trust him. max can’t control the stock market tho, so sometimes things are a little iffy. it always evens itself out though, and you make sure in the future that he invests his money instead of your joint money. he’s still gonna share anyways, it just helps you have a little more peace of mind.

frankie. he just wants to take care of you, okay? you can’t fault him for that 🥺 he maneuvers his budget around to make sure he can do all these nice things for you while leaving his own needs unchecked, which isn’t okay. he just wants to provide for the ppl he loves the best he can, but the problem begins when he starts to think he isn’t doing enough. his insecurity & lack of self-worth (fueled by his guilt for “not being everything you deserve”) is what makes him agree to the Trip™️ in the first place. once he comes back & sees you frantic, only wanting him home and not giving a flying fuck about the money, does he realize that you’re devoted to him and not what he can do for you.

whiskey. working for statesman made him forget what things really cost bc he suddenly never had to worry again about not having enough money. being with someone that isn’t practically made of money will snap him back into reality. he looks at his bank statements and his balance occasionally, but our big spender cowboy hasn’t really counted money as something he worries about for a while. when he constantly showers you in expensive gifts (only the best for his baby, that’s his motto) and you tell him that he has to not do that bc he’ll go broke, he plays it off because he doesn’t remember having to worry. separate bank accounts are only because you want to make sure your money is being spent smartly (even though jack has offered constantly to pay for literally anything you need).

don’t give him anything you want to see again:

maxwell. as much as i love this dork, he’s absolute shit with money. when his business is falling apart (bc he made the stupid ass decision to buy the oil rigs no one wanted bc they weren’t producing oil), he throws it all into saving face and trying to make investors buy into something that isn’t there. what a smart business man would’ve done was liquidate his assets and possibly try to get into a business that will yield at least some profit. he does learn his lesson tho and eventually can be trusted with money, but even he is hesitant to do anything with the household finances. he’s a dreamer, and dreams and money are the same as oil and water.

javier. i know you’re possibly surprised but hear me out. he’ll go all in to get info, whether he’s spending american taxpayer money or his own money or anyone else’s, if it’s valuable info that can be bought, it’s gonna be bought even if he goes without groceries for the next two weeks. before being with you, it was booze and prostitutes and cigarettes that ate away at his checks outside of buying information. the only thing that really changed once you got together was the prostitutes and slightly less cigarettes and booze. however, when he goes back to laredo permanently, he’s perfectly capable of keeping his shit in line. he’ll balance every checkbook in sight and run a tight af ship.

ezra. this man is a scavenger by necessity, a con man by choice. he has a silver tongue and a roguish charm and pretty questionable morals; he’s not gonna have any issue with getting his hands dirty. he’s probably gonna use your joint money to try and pull a fast one on some unsuspecting stranger (“it’ll double our money,” he says, “it’ll be fine,” he says), but then said stranger will end up turning the tables and leave you both absolutely broke. yeah he will feel guilty, no doubt. the only problem is that he won’t take it as a “hey don’t do it again” lesson, it’ll be a “this is how i can improve for next time.” eventually you have to put your foot down and take control of the money and when he realizes that you’re improving your lives much better than he is, he will thank you for it.

all pedro character taglists: @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky @obirain @leias-left-hair-bun @themarcusmoreno @catsnkooks @captainrexstan @mackstrut @torradoza @simping-for-fives @stardustsunrisekisses @darthadeline @artemis61003 @majorshiraharu @getdookuedon @capricornrabies @max--phillips @darklingveracruz @book-of-anarchy @andysficrecs @purelypascal @whovianwar @lv7867 @hornystarwarsbisexual @kaermorons @princess76179 @pedropasscals @greeneyedblondie44 @seasonschange-butpeopledont @qhbr2013 if you don’t want to be tagged, lemme know!! the link to join is in my bio

[sashannarcy]

hi op what are your thoughts on uhhhh *spins wheel* sasha's season 2b arc (hope that's not too broad a subject)

edit: putting this under a cut bc it got LONG but. enjoy (???)

okay I gotta start by saying I didn't expect the depth of it at ALL; I knew Sash was featured prominently in the ending episodes of s2 based off of what my friend informed me, but like. I was not expecting 4.5 episodes to be almost ENTIRELY centered on their character arc and design (the .5 being the first half of True Colors).

that being said, I think Sash's 2b arc is PHENOMENAL bc of the way the nuance in it is written so incredibly well. this character is about to perform the most antagonistic move that they've pulled in the whole series so far, which is the act of betraying both Anne and Marcy in order to support Grime and get them home safe, if they so choose to go home (as an aside, I think at this point Sash has probably decided that she likes it more in Amphibia than back home, and there's one line that I'll get to that seems to be VERYYYY indicative of that. and if this is the case, it makes sense to me why Sasha would want to help Grime at all and why they don't really seem quite eager to follow Anne and Marcy back home. but! important to note that they still give those two the choice to go back if they wish, because at the end of the day Sash loves them and wouldn't try to force them to stay). and yet we see!! this back and forth!! this FIGHT that's happening in their mind, the way there's a flash of guilt they express at the very end of The Third Temple directly after confirming to Grime that things are still going according to plan, their convo w Anne at the end of The Dinner, the entire plot arc of BotB, and ofc the Sashanne duel in True Colors. I want to make an analysis post for each of these episodes because they're so fucking PACKED w shit to analyze, but I'll try my best to touch on all points here.

obviously we first learn of Sasha's plans to betray Anne and Marcy in The Third Temple. but what's important is that throughout the entire episode, there's several points where Sash switches back and forth between manipulation and honesty. I can talk abt this w confidence just based off of the whole. *gestures vaguely at myself.* but Sasha's initial apology in this episode was sheer manipulation, I think we all know that. however, when Sasha has to do their final test in the temple, those few lines they exchange w Anne in the moments before they raise themself up off the floor and launch themself into battle... those were genuine. they know they've been a shitty friend, and they're willing to accept that. so you have this game, almost, where Sash keeps flipping between putting on a mask to ensure they can keep up their facade until Grime secures the city and genuinely acknowledging their behavior and knowing that what they are doing is not going to sit well w Anne and Marcy.

so with that, The Third Temple sets the premise for the rest of the episodes of the season as far as Sasha's character arc. The Dinner is such a good fucking episode to follow with, because it hammers in the fact that Sasha has not changed. what it ALSO hammers in is she is still acting in her own self-interest - to put it in her words, she wants to get the friendship back under control. they still lash out, they still have a short fuse, they're still heavily opinionated and rough around the edges and prickly because this is an environment where they feel threatened. they're finally reuniting with the two people that mean the absolute most to them, only to realize they've been left out of the narrative. also not for nothing, but their trauma in Reunion got joked about in this episode which led to them blowing up over it, and like. I'm giving that one a pass bc man. anyway. at the end of the episode they say they like who they are, but it's said with a frown, which I think is fucking GENIUS. because there's an actual meaning to this line - they don't ACTUALLY like who they are. we have plenty of evidence that they don't like themself. what they MEAN is that they don't want to change, because that would mean giving up a security that they need in order to keep themself together. AND THIS IS DEMONSTRATED CRYSTAL CLEAR IN BOTB. they literally PURPOSEFULLY detach themself from Anne and Marcy bc they know they want control but they ALSO know that their behavior is just going to hurt the other two, so instead of compromising, they just go hey I'm gonna do my thing and you guys can do yours. and we'll both get what we want. and if that's not evidence that this character is fucking GRAPPLING with how to grow and change as a person, idk what is

and then. sigh. we get to True Colors. ofc Sash goes through on their betrayal - they're loyal to a fucking T once you dig beneath the surface, and they wouldn't just not follow through for Grime. what is absolutely KEY here is the fact that they are still leaving room for their friends' best interests, as in they're not trapping them in Amphibia but rather explaining how they're gonna help Grime take over, implying they'll go back home once they're done, but if Anne and Marcy wanna go back now, that's cool. if she didn't give a fuck abt their wellbeing, she'd just keep them there w her. but she doesn't. and then Anne starts retaliating, and. well. we ALL know Sasha does NOT do well with criticism of any kind. so they just go okay I'll send you back now then (and this is STILL an action motivated by what they think is best for Anne). BUT THE LINE. OHHHH THE SUPER IMPORTANT LINE THAT MADE MY HEAD SNAP UP AND MADE ME PHYSICALLY GO "YIKES" OUT LOUD. is Sasha saying "say hi to your parents for me." it's like a goddamn full-on sucker punch packed into one sentence - seven words, and all of a sudden we know for sure this kid does not have a good home life. I could go into elaboration on Sasha and the way she views familial ties throughout the show, but I won't bc that's gonna take this already super long answer and make it even worse. regardless, Sasha has once again flipped the switch and is indulging in their worst behaviors, which is full on controlling and holding power to act on what THEY think is best in the moment. and the moment Anne snaps, the moment Anne yells about Sasha being a horrible person, literally EVERYTHING shifts and the reaction from Sasha is VISCERAL. and what I mean by that is. it's not just the look in their eyes at those words. it's not just the sudden and complete loss of meaning, of self, of motivation after they've lost Anne's support. it's not just the way they stare at their own reflection in a sword that represents the color of the person they're trying their hardest to protect. it's the way that for the rest of the goddamn episode, they spend it trying to do the one thing they fear the most: giving up control. I'm gonna elaborate on this whole aspect in a different ask bc I was asked abt it, but the way Sasha acts towards Anne after the fallout, especially at the beginning of the duel and during the confrontation w Andrias, is fucking monumental. they struggle so much with how to change their own behavior, yet the very moment they lose the support of the people they've been trying so hard to love and care for in their roundabout way, they can change the way they act. because who the fuck is Sasha Waybright without Anne Boonchuy and Marcy Wu? in her mind, no one. she doesn't have any idea of who she is outside of this, so ofc she can act differently when she's thrown out in the cold. after all, it doesn't take much to warp an identity that doesn't exist.

tldr; god. how do I sum this up. Sash's 2b arc is smth that's incredibly intricate and complex from the way they constantly flip between desperately needing control and feeling guilty that this is the way they need to live. and True Colors is able to finally demonstrate to us the final piece in how they operate - without their friends, they lose sense of who they are, and their personality comes undone. in 4.5 episodes the writers managed to give us 1000 aspects to their character that we hadn't gotten to explore, and we can see that Sasha was never meant to be the villain. so. final review is that's some good shit👍

[duckwithachainsaw]

Genshin impact au where the Traveler is blind

They drop into Mondstadt like “hi????? What’s goin on????” and all the responsible adults in the room (jean, lisa, diluc, kaeya*) collectively think “this kid needs some friends-“ so they introduce the Traveler to some people their age (benny, mona, sucrose, amber, etc) and it goes well. The traveler is shockingly competent, more than anyone expected, and they handle themself even better once they get anemo and geo power.

They navigate a little differently based on which they have active. With anemo, they feel for obstacles through breezes. Think tapping around in the dark for a light switch, but your hand is wind. With geo, they’re just straight up Toph. its neat :3

And because I’m feeling self-indulgent, this is my take on how some characters (*cough* my favorites *cough*) interact with the traveler!! Lumine bc that’s who i picked :P

Razor

He treats her like a very respectable puppy. Before she gets good at using anemo, he guides her around the woods while they hunt. Boreas likes the fact that Razor’s getting more human friends, so he gives her additional protection in Wolvendom. It’s sweet.

Bennett

Benny’s very cautious. He’s terrified that his bad luck will get Lumine hurt because he thinks she won’t see something coming. Once she gets geo and anemo figured out, he worries less. They hang out all the time, too! Bennett was the first friend Lumi made in Teyvat, so they go exploring and treasure hunting a lot. Chaotic children :3

Sucrose

Sucrose is fascinated by how the Traveler interacts with the elements, and Lumine is happy to help. At some point, Lumi expressed frustration at having a hard time cooking some difficult dishes, so Sucrose made it her life’s work for three weeks to make cooking a much friendlier experience. It was super sweet and the two like hanging out and talking about elemental magic in the world.

Xiao

He treats Lumine like the much-respected peer she is. He witnessed firsthand the absolute badassery she’s capable of and knows she can take care of herself, so he doesn’t even worry about her safety (though he still offers his protection). I headcannon that Xiao loves studying weather patterns and the sky from the Wangshu roof. He’s kinda saddened by the fact that Lumine can’t experience it like he does, so he takes some free time to make a star chart she can feel when they spend time together.

Zhongli

I hc that Morax over here has big dad energy anyways. He’s incredibly interested in her application of Geo and often asks her to describe or demonstrate certain actions he’s never seen before. Zhongli is also lowkey protective. Like- if he catches wind that someone was harassing his kid, he’s not afraid to take action. Yeah, he’s lawful neutral, but he’s still a dad :P

Klee

She’s sad that Lumine can’t directly see what her explosions look like, or what she draws normally. Jean suggested Klee try some other methods of connecting to the Traveler. Klee took this to mean making scratch-and-sniff bombs. She’s working on making them smell different, sound different, or feel different when they go off so that Miss Lumine doesn’t feel left out. It makes the Traveler’s heart melt a bit.

Noelle

Noelle feels like she has to be very responsible around Lumine. She worries that Mondstadt isn’t well-equipped enough for Lumine and that she’ll get hurt when doing commissions or fighting dragons and whatnot. Lumine assured her she’s okay, and it takes some time to make that sink in, but eventually, Noelle calms down. She and Lumine spend a lot of time together, mostly because they have mutual crushes and are bad at communicating that Noelle looks up to Lumine for all she’s accomplished without one of the five senses.

[olivinesea]

In the Golden Dark

a/n: Having never done any ship writing before I’m just going to jump feet first into the deep end with a little Hotchreid for you today. It’s nice. No warnings except maybe some angst because we are who we are. Probably the softest thing you will see from me so enjoy the moment. Completely unnecessary disclaimer that I would find this relationship wildly inappropriate in real life but thank god we’re out here in the lawless fiction of the internet. And you’re getting full on song lyrics bc Hotchreid is nothing if not decadent af. There’s more but I’m impatient so here’s the first bit. ~ 2.7k

what the hell am I doing here in the golden dark? feeling like I’m someone else who looks the part I built up barricades to block my heart cause I don’t wanna fear you

He leaned back in his chair, reaching his arms up and clasping his hands behind his head, arching his back slightly. With his eyes closed it could be any time of day. He inhaled deeply and pretended for a moment that he was nowhere. He even gave himself a few extra seconds, indulging in the quiet that was the office at night. If only he could feel so peaceful in the right moments—before sleeping perhaps. When he opened his eyes all he could see was the reflection of his office light in the black windows. There hadn’t been daylight for hours. He’d switched off the overhead lights in favor of the small desk lamp that pooled the light only in the area of immediate relevance. Everything beyond its reach faded in and out of existence as his focus fell deeply into the forms in front of him.

He pressed his elbows back as far as they would go, pulling up slightly on the base of his skull, stretching out a day’s worth of stress, countless hours spent bent over report after report. He never could have imagined that saving people would require so much paperwork. Reducing the chaos of the lived experience, the searches and the takedowns, the intricate patterns of dozens of personalities layering choices upon one another; it turned out to be quite difficult to do. It took him hours to wrap up cases, even with everyone doing most of their own reports. Which, through no fault of their own, wasn’t always the case. He usually ended up siphoning off a fair number of those reports in addition to his own.

He didn’t mind, he needed to go over everything, needed to make sure that any possible negative feedback that came back would fall to him and he would be prepared if it did. His team were his responsibility, he would be neglecting his duties if he didn’t ensure that things were handled properly. None of them needed the headache of administrative errors. He was good with details, good with forms, good with protocol. He would happily be the filter that saved them all the trouble of little errors even if it hadn’t been part of his job.

But that didn’t change the fact that it was eleven o’clock on a Wednesday and everyone else had gone home hours ago. Only the late night janitorial staff wandered in and out occasionally, nodding at him in silent greeting as they reset the offices to give the illusion of an endlessly renewable supply of fresh starts. People that didn’t stay late never gave this transformation a second thought. They left the office with full trashcans and small debris scattered on the old carpets, only to return the next morning to find a place untouched by human presence, metal fixtures shining and glass doors free of oily fingerprints. That was just how the world worked for them, generous with new beginnings. People who lingered knew better, that effort was put into the effect. Beginnings were never easy, never flowed so inevitably as the set and rise of the sun.

Hotch had been working late for many years, long before he was even in the BAU. He had learned in law school how to brew the coffee strong enough to stay up all night if need be. How the indoor lighting changed without the support of daylight, tinting the world a thin sickly green color without the natural light to round out the fluorescence. He only got worse about it once he joined the Bureau, the stress of the job causing old habits and old secrets to float to the surface. He compensated by working the hardest, doing the most, never allowing anyone to see him need things that other people needed. He could handle this job, this was all he ever wanted after all. To save the world. Or maybe, more modestly, to save the world of a few.

Now, with Haley gone, Jack with her, somewhere well out of his disastrous reach, there was no reason at all not to fully give in. No reason not to let his insomnia at least be productive. To let the latent self destruction that fueled his actions at least have a positive impact on the people he cared about. He could do that at least.

He rubbed his face with his hands, he was getting loopy. There was no reason to be letting his mind wander so far, there were still reports he could get through. Perhaps, as unlikely as the idea felt, he could even get ahead. He looked back down at the paperwork, letting his feet settle flat on the floor. The letters swam in front of him and he sighed, rolling his pen beneath his thumb, considering. He could probably make it another hour. He could get another pot of coffee into himself. He cast about for his mug, finding it empty on the shelf behind him. He sometimes kept it there to prevent his reports from acquiring telltale dark rings. Rolling back from the desk, he hooked the handle with two fingers and headed out to the kitchenette.

Wrapped up in making plans for what he could finish tonight and what could be left for the morning he was startled to find a light still on in the bullpen. He was certain everyone had gone home long ago. They’d each passed by his office, offering him an out as they made their ways home—perhaps their exit could be the motivation he needed to break out of his office, to head towards his own home. What they didn’t realize was that home was not better for him. Work was far better, far safer, with tasks to complete, a purpose. If he was smart he would stay at work forever.

So he waved to them as they checked out, giving them small smiles that, though imperceptible to strangers, they recognized as both apologies and well-wishes. He knew they worried, that they didn’t like to see him tied to his desk late into the night. They thought it was one of his many methods for making himself suffer but he didn’t have the heart to tell them that this was him making a good decision, this was him trying his very best. In his experience, nothing good happened at home.

He thought he remembered everyone leaving, each goodbye. But every day was the same and they all bled together so he must have missed one because he cannot deny the light down below. As he walked down the stairs, confused by the discovery that he was not as alone as he had been imagining, his tired vision focused better. He could make out dark blond curls and a darker sweater hunched over the desk in the middle of the room.

“Reid?” The name came out as a croak, he hadn’t spoken in hours and probably hadn’t had any water in that time period either. He cleared his throat and said it again, louder and closer to the other man than before. Reid’s head snapped up, expression as guilty as a child caught out of bed.

“S-sorry,” he stuttered, eyes wide.

Hotch frowned, not because he was upset but because he was still a little disoriented and his muscles fell back into the most familiar actions.

“I—“ Reid ducked his head and started pushing papers together on his desk, shoving them haphazardly into a file folder. “I was just…” he trailed off, not really having intended on explaining himself. He was simply also startled and reverting to the familiar.

Reid explained compulsively, able to handle the world when parsed down to facts and numbers. He didn’t have a fact for why he had stayed so late, only a feeling and that he didn’t know how to explain. Nights had been particularly lonely recently so he had allowed himself to stay later and later, getting lost in his thoughts at his work desk. Even without people around there was a sense of occupancy, their faint impressions lingering in the air. Plus there was always Hotch up in his office. He didn’t actively think about him or what he was doing but he liked knowing the man was nearby. Hotch’s solid presence always made him feel more secure, less concerned with whatever might jump out at him from the shadows overlapping the world and his mind.

He couldn’t tell Hotch that, was far too embarrassed to admit that sometimes, even with all the lights on, it was too dark in his apartment. No matter the illumination, he couldn’t quite dispel the unease of the night when he was alone. It wasn’t always like this, sometimes he had enough brightness to spare. Recently, however, things had been hard. So much had been going on, he couldn’t quite pinpoint why but he knew he felt uneasy. Too much had changed, there was too much risk that the floor could still fall out beneath him at any moment. And it hadn’t been so long since he’d escaped the consequences of his kidnapping, his addiction, that he trusted himself to be able to manage too much more uncertainty. Backsliding was always a risk and right now the world tilted at a frightening grade. So he let himself stay late in the safety of familiarity, sometimes working but more often not, idly rereading the books he had brought in and forgotten around the office. Tonight he had actually started to doze off, which contributed to his shock upon being discovered.

Hotch continued to frown at him, watching as the thoughts raced across Spencer’s face. He noticed how deep the shadows were beneath his eyes, the way darkness pooled in the space below his cheekbones, as if they were concave impressions filled by seawater. He knew Spencer didn’t eat enough, was all too familiar with the ways too much coffee and not enough calories pinched the skin and exposed the fine lines of capillaries beneath the surface.

“Sorry,” Spencer repeated.

He looked genuinely ashamed and it made Hotch a little sad. Couldn’t Spencer see that he was just as guilty of whatever it was he thought he was doing wrong by being here? He made a conscious effort to soften his expression, to show the warmth he felt for the younger man. After having spent his entire life masking his emotions, protecting himself one of the only ways he could, it wasn’t always easy to show his affection. Especially not at this time of night, when all he could do was cling to his walls and hope to find himself still on solid ground when the sun rose. Spencer wasn’t looking at him, too caught up in his own maze.

“Let’s go get something to eat,” Hotch said, trying a different tactic. He was smart, he knew not to make it a demand or a comment on Spencer’s health. It was only an invitation, firm enough for Spencer to know he meant it, that it was not just a pleasantry or an obligation he’d rather avoid. A hand extended, an offer of easy company to pass through a little more of this unwanted time. Spencer looked up from where his fingers were worrying at the corner of the file in front of him and smiled shyly. Hotch smiled back, a real smile that scrunched up his dark shining eyes.

“Give me five minutes to close up,” he said and turned back toward his office. As he packed his briefcase, his heart felt like it had been wrapped in a soft blanket. He didn’t bother questioning it—who didn’t like finding someone to commiserate with when they’d only expected more of the lonely dark?

*

Their late night meals became a regular occurrence. Not every night but once, maybe twice a week, they found themselves the last ones in the office. They fell into a rhythm, each learning to read more from the other’s subtle cues. They almost always went to the same place, a 24-hour diner near the office with deceptively strong coffee and a seemingly endless variety of pancakes. Hotch rarely ordered food, though he encouraged Reid to get anything he wanted. He accepted bites of whatever the younger man ordered, happy enough to reciprocate the excitement over strawberry rhubarb or cinnamon blueberry pancakes.

They talked about inconsequential things, mostly Hotch listening as Reid spun out information on whatever topic was on his mind that day. Reid, for his part, made mental note of the things Hotch responded to and had opinions on. Spencer sought out more information in that vein to bring up. He loved to talk, sure, but what he loved more was to discuss. During the day there was rarely time to let his thoughts wander so freely. It was a dream to have someone there, following along and challenging him with questions, building up new conclusions.

On the nights that followed difficult days, when they were both too stubborn to order anything of substance, they drank their coffees and avoided looking at each other too directly. Those nights they were both tied up in their own thoughts, islands separated by more than just distance, but there was something undeniably pulling them together. It was probably just the natural consequence of having opposite dominant sides but they mirrored each other perfectly across the table. Once, they both happened to reach for their mugs at the same time and the backs of their hands brushed against each other. They each noticed but responded differently. Hotch repressed any reaction, pretending the quick touch of bony knuckles and cool skin hadn’t registered. Maybe it hadn’t. Reid, on the other hand, jumped as if shocked, sloshing the hot coffee into a puddle on the table. This only flustered him more and he yelped at the sting of the liquid and the sting of embarrassment. It wasn’t like they’d never touched before. But here, in this nowhere time they’d constructed, it felt different. In his mind that brief touch became nails dragging across his skin, impossible to ignore. But he pretended the mug was too hot and Hotch didn’t argue, quick to assist with napkins and sounds of agreement to accompany Spencer’s half-coherent excuses.

When their meals were done, mostly cleaned plates of syrup and crumbs stacked to one side, they hesitated before standing up. Hotch always offered to give Reid a ride home, Reid always declined, insisting he could get there himself. This led to Hotch giving him a doubtful look and insisting that it was no trouble. Reid, secretly wanting a ride the whole time, struggled to argue for his self-sufficiency a little longer before giving in. It became a silly thing, both of them knowing exactly how the argument ended but they held onto it for some reason. It was a part of their ritual now, an important piece of the night. It kept this, whatever this was, contained, strictly occasional, random even. Not something they planned for, not something they looked forward to.

Hotch waited for Spencer to get in the door of his building before driving away. He knew it wasn’t necessary, Spencer was a grown man and a trained FBI agent with a weapon. Still, it made him feel better to see him safely inside. Sometimes he thought he would feel even better if he could walk Spencer all the way to his front door. But he knew that would be asking too much. As it was, the nights when they shared this extra hour or two together, extended further by the drive home, had been giving him more than he could have imagined. He wouldn’t dare impose himself further. The brittle excuse of safety would crumble if he were to start following the other man inside. He was not ready to find out what that would mean. He smiled unconsciously as he drove to his apartment. For now, it was enough that he had found companionship on these late nights when he would otherwise be slowly, meticulously, working his way into the grave.

~Part 2~