#with the zest and a lil bit of juice

[autobahnmp3]

i bought one single orange and im gonna have it with the bread tomorrow

[inaconstantstateofchange]

back at you though, drinks edition? a type of drink you couldn't do without, that is your go to for any occasion? give us the specific deets, recipe if needed

oh no you've activated my trap card i love drinks

okay so special occasion drink: brown sugar boba (50% ice 50% sweet) but specifically from the tea shop close-ish to my house. it's expensive so i don't go often but holy shit. they use actual proper tea and fresh-as-hell boba and it's just. it's so good, i think anything from there would be insanely worth it (but i've never bothered to branch out from perfection).

my daily bev: i can't be too specific on brand without lowkey doxxing myself a tad, but there's a local company that does this flavored black tea with cornflower, raspberry, red plum petals, and blueberry, and it's just. it's incredible. mellow and rich and lightly (but not overwhelmingly) floral and fruity. i have it every single day and i'm convinced it is the perfect tea.

and two other faves because you asked for recipes:

strawberry (cheong) lemonade: okay so this is more effort than truly necessary, but i went to one of those u-pick strawberry places last summer and then the cultivar fucking sucked so they weren't even good, so i made cheong with them, which is a korean fruit syrup/preserve you make by layering equal amounts of fruit and sugar in a jar and letting them sit (i put them in the fridge just to be safe) for a few weeks.

the end result is preserves that you can blend into a bangin' spread and a fruit syrup that is like the nectar of the fucking gods. i didn't think it would make a huge difference doing it that way rather than a typical heat-based reduction, but it tastes like fresh strawberries. you don't lose any of that to it breaking down via heat treatment, so similar to the difference between a cold brew and a heat-based one.

anyway those mixed with lemonade (i make a concentrate using half lemons and half regular lemon juice, and include some lemon zest) makes one of the best summer drinks i've ever had.

i'm adding a cut for the last one because i can't/won't stop now but i have some self-awareness. okay, last one:

vanilla chai: i haven't made this in a bit, because when i moved here i ended up using up my stock of cardamom, and the local brand available here is just... not it, and i'm still trying to work out the most cost-effective way to order them online. which is devastating, because cardamom is the flavor most beloved to me in chai. anyway-

the thing that rocks about chai is that it is not actually all that hard, and you can customize it so specifically to your taste. my go-to add-ins are cardamom (5-6 pods, crushed open), cloves (2-3), cinnamon (about half a stick, crushed a lil), fresh ginger (idk how to measure this one, like an inch or two?), and vanilla. i used to use vanilla bean paste i got ages ago as a gift, but that is too rich for the world we live in nowadays, so it's whatever vanilla i have.

technically there's a specific kind of tea you're supposed to use, but i prefer it with regular loose-leaf black tea (which i always have on hand anyway). so you basically get a small pot, and bring your water (about half to 3/4 of your mug) to a boil. once it does, add your tea leaves and spices (not vanilla tho) and let them vibe out there for 5-10 minutes.

then, add your milk (about half of your mug) and vanilla, and warm to desired temp, but don't let it boil (this is my personal preference). add desired amount of sugar to your mug (i usually do a small spoonful of white and a small spoonful of brown sugar) and pour the chai into the mug through a fine mesh sieve (to get out the spice bits). if you have a milk frother, i like to aerate it a bit before drinking (improves flavor and also makes it less likely to burn your tongue).

[whentherewerebicycles]

top 10 things i cooked in 2023

this year i made 104 unique recipes (plus lots of duplicates when i liked something enough to make it multiple times). the places i went to most for recipes were feasting at home + the NYT recipes app, although i very much liked the weekday vegetarians, love and lemons, cookie & kate, nora cooks, and the foodie takes flight.

my top 10, in no particular order:

NYT ricotta pasta with roasted broccoli and crispy chickpeas (super simple but a great yummy pasta to make real quick for friends. I roasted the broccoli instead of broiling and added lots of extra lemon zest, garlic, red pepper flakes, and a tray of oven-roasted chickpeas)

moroccan vegetable tagine (i blended a bunch of recipes but the one linked was my starting point. this is the one form i like butternut squash in lol. modifications: i went heavy on all the spices but especially the cinnamon and cardamom, added chopped dried apricots to the stew for extra sweetness, and threw in a bunch of extra veggies. yum)

indian-ish nachos with cheddar, black beans and chutney (do NOT skip the multiple chutneys and sauces. it will seem like too much work you will say can't i just make one and be done with it but those sauces are where the magic lies. the great tragedy of these nachos is that i wanted to eat them for DAYS but they do not reheat well. but godddd they were good)

ottolenghi's green pancakes with lime butter (these are SO easy. great for brunch but also make delicious additions to your lunch for a couple days after. also it's a perfect way to eat a pound of spinach and feel very virtuous about it when really you just ate delicious jalapeno-y scallion pancakes. the lime butter is great but it's a lot of work so i usually just top these with some sour cream mixed with a lil bit of lime zest & lime juice)

cauliflower shawarma with spicy tahini sauce (YUM! the tahini sauce as written was too bitter for me with the cholula mixed in. i think i'd try it with sriracha next time so it was a little sweeter. i also added chickpeas yum)

roasted cauliflower daal with chickpeas (my notes say this was "OUTTA THIS WORLD DELICIOUS" but also note that it will "really clean you out GI-wise" lol. lentils always have that effect on me though so ymmv. i added bell pepper, roasted the cauliflower first, cooked the lentils most of the way soft in the rice cooker instead of on the stove, and added two chopped serrano peppers with seeds to give it a lil extra kick. i would recommend halving the recipe if you are cooking for one as there were TONS of leftovers and my GI system could not handle being cleansed that many times lol)

pasta with corn, tomatoes, "onion-bacon," and basil (this method of preparing onions really should not taste like bacon and yet it sort of does????? this was a summer recipe i made multiple times for a range of audiences and it was a hit every time. originally from the weekday vegetarians)

creamy corn pasta (THIS HAS NO RIGHT BEING AS GOOD AS IT IS. IT'S SO SIMPLE AND YET IT'S THE BEST THING I'VE EVER TASTED I COULD EAT IT FOR DAYS. WE ATE IT ALL SUMMER)

ottolenghi's very full roasted veggie tart (it will take you hours to make and no time at all to consume but oh my god it's so good and SUCH a satisfying way to spend a long weekend afternoon. liz and i loved this so much we had to have a serious sitdown to discuss how we would divvy up the leftovers because we felt it could seriously damage our friendship if one of us ate all of it)

bombay burritos (the little sauces and things take a long time to make but you can prep a lot of the stuff a day or two in advance and gosh these are so tasty!! the curried mashed potatoes YUM)

honorable mentions:

ottolenghi's mango soba noodles (skip the eggplant i'd do tofu or something instead)

braised tofu with basil (i made this with a veggie-loaded stir fry and topped it with a fried egg)

this carrot cake (it took forever to make but it was the best carrot cake i've ever had and the only thing i'll ever make on my bday from here on out). she also has a pumpkin cake recipe that is so good and much simpler to make (no grating required)

momofuku's ginger scallion tofu with crispy coconut rice (the recipe is for a shrimp version but we made it with tofu and it was very yummy. i made this at a friend's house and it was so good i wanted to ask to take home some of the leftovers but decided that was too rude ahaha)

and then of course i gotta give a shoutout to my #1 comfort foods this year, SHAKSHUKA (my beloved) + a caprese sandwich with balsamic glaze served on really good bread.

[tiktoksdot-ed]

✨Pasta Limone with Broccoli✨ I basically combined my two favorite pasta Limone recipes and y’all, it is glorious. It reminds me of our trip to Positano and brings back the best memories 🍋💕 Here’s how i do it:

✨1/2 lb malfaldine pasta (or any pasta you prefer)

✨3 tbsp salty butter

✨ 1.5 cups broccoli, super finely chopped

✨ 4 garlic cloves, finely diced

✨ 1 cup heavy creamy

✨ lemon zest from 1 lemon

✨ 1/2 cup @parmigianoreggianousa or @granapadanopdo

✨ juice from 1/2 lemon

✨ kosher salt and fresh cracked pepper

🍋 Start pasta in boiling salted water and cook Al dente - being sure to save some pasta water to the side.

🍋 Add butter to a heavy bottomed sauce pan and let it melt the add broccoli and flaky salt and cook down for 1 minute

🍋Add garlic and cook down for another minute until soft and fragrant.

🍋 Add heavy creamy, lemon zest and parm and let the sauce simmer and reduce until the pasta is ready.

🍋 Add Al dente pasta (along w a tiny bit of the water) that it was cooking in and the juice from half a lemon then stir. Cook for one more minute over low heat as the pasta finishes cooking in the sauce. If it’s dry, add a lil reserved pasta water until the sauce is silky.

🍋 taste and season with salt, pepper and more lemon juice if needed. Enjoy!

[happi-meals]

Today's breakfast!

Vegan almond yogurt, carrot, and clemintine drink + pan-fried egg, steamed kale, sliced vegan bratwurst on a bed of rice!

Very rewarding meal, though I would have loved to have the drink and the food together lol. I forgot to prep and make the drink first, so I made and drank it afterward.

Wrt the drink, I cant quite call it a smoothie yet because I dont have ice and its just not the texture I want it at yet. It has very great flavor, especially the citrus zest; 2 clemintines with pulp amplified by twang of ginger root and a brightness of lemon juice (no cider this time! Didnt need it); lots of honey and carrot to add a tinge of particular sweetness.

BUT

I simply dont have the consistency I desire smdh. The lack of ice means theres less volume to the drink and its lack of viscosity makes the chunks of veggies (particularly the carrot) relatively unplesant in texture. I wouldnt mind said chunks and pieces if they were spread evenly in a smoothie. But alas lol.

Will definitely give the kale a break for more of this bright and healthy juice option!

Ingredients for the drink (no particular proportions; experimenting to taste)

2 clemintines with pulp 🍊

A handfull of baby carrots 🥕

A dash of lemon juice 🍋

A few dollops of vegan yogurt (unsweetened) 🍦

Small cut of fresh ginger root 🫚

LOTS of honey! 🍯

Now that I'm thinking about it, this entire drink would have been nice as is if I had some sort of mesh strainer to seperate the large chunks from the juice itself. That way, it could suffice without ice! 🧊 I def need to invest in one if I cant find one thrifted.

Onto the food!

Nothing too much to say here other than it was a great meal!

The egg was certainly more flavorful than last time, thought I admit it was a bit too much season salt lol. I cooked it last since I was right to remember that eggs cook in like 4 mins max lol. However, I accidentally skipped a step in remembering to heat up the pan with its oil before cracking the egg into it. So for several seconds the poor abortion remained clear and uncooked in the pan, sliding but not simmering. I thought i may have fluked the process again but I turned up the heat a bit and the egg bounced back, the whites appearing slowly as it actually simmered and cooked lol

The rice I simply made in my cute lil rice cooker (i should give it a name 🤔).

My mom got it for me when I was in college, considering I went vegan a few yrs prior, hadnt bought an [unlimited] meal plan at the dorm cafeteria, and may have had limited options (thankfully I didnt, eventually bought and u limited meal plan, and never needed to use the cooker living on campus. It became my ol-reliable later before I left though lol). Its a great cooker and can handle I believe up to around 1 or 1 1/2 cups of rice and its respective portions of water, which is plently for just me and usually enough for 2 servings. I use it almost daily when I cook so its def a staple tool in the kitchen I'm grateful to have. Thanks, mom! 💕

The kale I steamed in a pot with a lid and added a but of Lawry's season salt, a cap full of vinegar, and pepper. Simple yet flavorful. I love seeing the change of volume the kale undergoes as its steamed. A large portion of bright green, rubbery kale leaves that overfills the brim of the pan quickly shrivels into a manageable serving of jeep-green, seasoned kale, steamed to perfection (and much more pleasant to chew!). Speaking of kale transformations lol....

.... Ive had this batch of kale for going on 3 weeks now! I made a post about it before on my nature blog @happigreens (I'll transfer here eventually), but to condense it to the gist of this one, the salt bath i gave the kale was extremely helpful in extending the shelf life of the leaves. By now, theyre finally yellowing and some are wilting from dryness, but many still retain a crisp texture as if freshly harvested. I'll always soak kale leaves in saline water to preserve them! The kale in this meal didnt need that crispness necessarily, but the soaking probably retains its nutritional value for a lot longer, so thats definitely always important!

The brat I cooked the same as last time: pan fried! The brats are so good imo that they dont need any seasoning other than compatible cooking oil! Beyond Meat has some absolutely delish products. I just hope one day plant based products like that can be subsidized or something 😅. Also like before, the brat complimented the egg so well. I really didnt want any meat for this meal but craved the umami flavor combos I had with my last meal. Was not disappointed!

Ingredients for this meal included:

1 Beyond Sausage Brat Origianal link (pulled into pieces for a feeling of bigger portions lol)

1 egg (to be fried)

Like a big bowlfull of kale (again, no exact proportion here lol, but ut was a lot!)

Lawry's season salt (to season kale and egg to taste)

Pepper (for the kale and egg again)

A capful of vinegar (for the kale)

Olive and sesame oil (for pan-frying the egg and brat, and steaming the kale)

1 cup of rice (which take ~2 cups of water to cook)

9/10 It all came together for a great meal! :-)

[happigreens]

I reused a Santa Cruiz juice jar to drink from! The blender is a Hamilton Beach 10 speed model 50200. Only $13 from G.W.!

Lots to learn but still good stuff! In no particular proportions (I experimented to taste), I used cucumber, clemintine, banana, organge juice, water, non-sweetened vegan yogurt, kale leaves, brown sugar, and lemon with its pulp. 🥬🍌🍊🤎🥒🍋🍦

Could use less banana next time (a lil overpowering on this one), and could be a lil sweeter. I didnt wanna overload on the added sugar but since I was experimenting I didnt use enough fruit to naturally sweeten the mix. Also could use some sort of mesh strainer for the kale chunks lol. I dont mind the texture but some pieces were a bit much. But I think ice would have helped the texture more (my freezer doesnt have an ice maker so I'll invest in an ice tray one day!). I definitely could have brightened the flavor too with more lemon and citrus zest and ginger. I dont have the latter right now but will on Thursday when I get to the city market! 🫚🥳

Im still satisfied with what I made since it was my first time and I had an idea in mind with the anticipation and excitement for the whole learning process. Im excited to take this juicing/smoothie journey further and utilize my blender for other foods too (looking at you, ube!) ! 🍠💜

I want to fill this glas jar (that i also thrifted) with yummy juice/smoothies one day!

(Still a lil wet from washing it lol 🫧)

Feel free to drop your fave smoothie recipes !

🧉🥤🍏🍉🍇🍋🫐🥭🥥🥬🥕

Many of my homecooked meals lately have been vegan or plant based and with locally-sourced ingredients! :-)

Ive made homemade eggdrop soup using backyard eggs and kale from the city market, for instance. Ive been using that kale for many meals. Also zucchini and squash and locally made siopao from Filipino markets. Very good stuff!

(Left to right: homemade eggdrop soup w mushrooms, kale, and backyard eggs from a local farmer; steamed zucchini and squash from the city market and local chicken siopao with rice; Beyond Meat bratwurst and steamed kale from the market on ricebed).

My next goal is to buy some animal products from local (and preferably black and brown) farmers with humane practices for the animals. While I probably wont go back vegan again, the 5 or 6 yrs of being vegan in some of my formal yrs rlly changed my palate for the better. So i dont rlly crave meat as much anymore, and when I do, its cuz I know its a desire for unami flavors and certain textures of food, not meat specifically. That to say I will find such animal farmers for the bit of meat and animals products to supplement a mostly plant based diet I want to curate.

I just bought a nice blender from GoodWill, so I'm excited to start making homemade smoothies with the produce I get from the local market! I stay on the lookout at supermarket chains for cheap yogurt by remembering their sell-by dates since theyyre so perishible and going back to the store to take advantage of their discounts. I currently have almost a pint of unflavored, unsweetened almond milk yogurt to use so I'm really exited to start experimenting with my (relatively) new blender!

[khloris-witchery]

morning witches!!

made lavender lemon cookies from components harvested in my yard and wanted to share the process!!

this is a fun witchy activity. lavender helps promote relaxation, happiness, cleansing, peace, protection,  and purification. lemon helps promote mental clairty, joy, and is also good for cleaning. together, these are very spritely, joyful cookies!

so, heres the box of lavender and rosemary I harvested yesterday.

then i remembered we have a lemon tree! so i grabbed some of those too and took down a bundle of lavender i had been drying to make cookies :)

then of course you have to zest the lemons and squeeze a lil lemon juice (for later, its not required for this recipe.)

next, you get the dried lavender off the stalk, boil a little with sugar and strain to make simple syrup, and set the rest aside for later!

after that you can get down to the making of the dough, you will need:

1. 1/2 cup white or brown sugar

2.1/2 cup butter

3. 2 eggs

4. 2 1/2- 2 3/4 cups of baking flower (i used gluten free, ill talk about the Consequences of that later)

5. 2 tsp double acting baking powder

6. 1 (or more ;0 ) teaspoons of vanilla extract

7. 3 tbsp lavender buds

8. 2 lemons worth of zest

instructions:

1. cream the butter and the sugar. to cream, you can use a pastry cutter, potato masher, stand or hand mixer, or just be really aggressive with a spoon. combine them untill there a fluffy homogenous mass.

2. beat in the eggs, flour, baking soda, lavender, lemon zest, and vanilla.

4. make the dough into a ball and wrap in saran wrap. put it all in the fridge for 3-4 hours to chill.

5. after its chilled, get a clean cutting board, hopefully a larger one without those little rims to catch juice.

6. preheat the oven to 375° Fahrenheit,  or about 190° Celsius

7. flour the surface you are working on, your hands, and your rolling pin lightly. then begin the process of flattening the dough with the pin.

8. once dough is nice and flat, descend upon the dough with FUN SHAPE COOKIE CUTTERS!!! yay!!!

9. keep collecting the little dough bits that dont quite make it into thr cookies, ball them and roll em out more. do this till u have very little dough left, which you can shape into a little circle and add to the baking sheet (or just eat it, hehe.)

10. either add parcment to or grease and flour a cookie baking sheet.  then place the cookies on the sheet and pop em in the oven for 7 - 12 minutes.

unfortunately, i did not get a picture of the dough as i am a goon and a fool :( but i took a pic of the cookie cutters!

Now, its time to make the icing! I made boiled icing and due to a unfortunately sized saucepan, covered my entire kitchen in sugar. SO PLEASE USE A MID SIZE SAUCE PAN, NOT A TEENY ONE LIKE I DID.

the process goes as follows:

you will need:

1. 2 cups sugar

2. 1 cup water

3. 2 egg whites

4. 1 tbsp lavender simple syrup

5. 1 tsp vanilla extract

6. (a little zest and lavender buds, if desired)

instructions:

1. combine water, sugar, and syrup in the MEDIUM (i cannot stress that enough) saucepan. cover on a medium heat for approx. 3 minutes, till all sugar crystals dissolve.

2. uncover and grab a candy thermometer. bring the sugar to a boil and keep an eye on the temperature, stirring often.  the temp you are looking for is BETWEEN 238-240 DEGREES. the sugar should create long, delicate spindly strings when you take spoon outta the water.

3. turn the heat off. take the egg whites and beat UNTIL FOAMY.

4. this is where you must use an exceeding amount of caution unless you want chunks of cooked eggwhite in your glaze: pour the hot sugar mixture into the egg in a THIN STREAM, STIRRING CONSTANTLY.

5. once thats all mixed, add vanilla, and lemon + lavender if desired.

glaze pic:

when the cookies are done, put a little glaze on each one of them to create a tasty clear coating. additionally, if you make the cookies with GF flour: PUT ON THE GLAZE BEFORE MOVING COOKIES OFF THE PAN. the GF flour is a little less able to keep its shape and will fall apart on you if you dont put thr glaze on to keep it together. put the glaze on. let it set. theres a reason so few of my cookies are in this picture of the finished product:

HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY!! hope this helps,

Blessed Be!!!

[unicyclehippo]

L

i love lemon 🍋 yellow is my favourite colour!!! but also my sisters partner makes a mean martini & garnishes w lemon & it’s so fucking good. also there’s just smth excellent about lemons, don’t u think? a bit of soda, the sour tang of lemon juice. the zest in a tart!! the colour of them on an apron or a tablecloth!! wonderful funky lil fruits

[shiberpostshere]

THE KISS THIEF - Park Seonghwa Social Media Au (Masterlist)

Pairing: (Business Management Major) College Student! Seonghwa x (Law Major) College Student! Female Reader

Genre: Fluff, A teeny tiny bit of smut with a pinch of angst

Synopsis: High school crushes are often silly and forgotten. However, you cannot forget the one senior, you "borrowed" once a kiss from. Years have passed and it's a memory you laugh at but what will happen if you're to encounter the same senior in a much different setting and situation? Especially during your first year of college.

✒️ (Written Parts)

[Status: Completed]

🌸

1. Profiles (Part One): Seonghwa and The Crew ✨

2. Profiles (Part Two): The Freshmen ✨

3. Introduction (Part One): The Court is in Session✨

4. Introduction (Part Two): Famous Last Words✨

5. A. Chapter One: She's Beauty, She's Grace✨

5. B. Chapter One: ok boomer✨

6. Chapter Two: Vibe Check 💯 ✨ // (Mini Bonus)

7. Chapter Three: Dark History Reunion✨ ✒️

8. Chapter Four: Desert to Rainforest ✨

9. A. Chapter Five: BDE, Indeed✨

9. B. Chapter Five: That doesn't help at all✨

10. Chapter Six: It's okay buddy, get used to it✨✒️

11. Chapter Seven: Fighting, Not Flirting✨

12. A. Chapter Eight: You like your coffee black, right? ✨

12. B. Chapter Eight: Beverage Addiction Convention ✨

13. Chapter Nine: Mega Big Brain Boy✨✒️

14. Chapter Ten: Starter?? Feelings??✨

15. A. Chapter Eleven: Common Sense Braincells ✨

15. B. Chapter Eleven: I am done, I fucked up✨

16. A. Chapter Twelve: The team is complete ✨

16. B. Chapter Twelve: Time to reconsider✨

17. Chapter Thirteen: She Gasped✨

18. Chapter Fourteen: Just Stuff✨

19. Chapter Fifteen: We work well together✨ // 🌹Special Bonus: Weekly Flower Delivery✨

20. Chapter Sixteen: Happy Realisation✨ ✒️

21. Chapter Seventeen: (Special Bonus) // Stay Humble Kids✨

22. A. Chapter Eighteen: Don't be shy, babygrrill ✨

22. B. Chapter Eighteen: Eden Studio✨

23. Chapter Nineteen: (Ass)et✨

24. Chapter Twenty: Mutual Whipped Culture✨

25. A. Chapter Twenty One: Deer God✨

25. B. Chapter Twenty One: Big News?✨ // 🌹Special Bonus: Weekly Flower Delivery✨

26. A. Chapter Twenty Two: Babie Supreme✨

26. B. Chapter Twenty Two: Dancers and INVADER✨ // 🌹Special Bonus: Weekly Flower Delivery

27. Chapter Twenty Three: Eat the Rich✨

28. Chapter Twenty Four: Cinematic Parallels✨ ✒️

29. Chapter Twenty Five: No Funny Business✨

30. Chapter Twenty Six: Thirst Trap✨

31. A. Chapter Twenty Seven: Autumn has begun✨

31. B. Chapter Twenty Seven: Guava Juice vs Coffee✨ // 🌹Special Bonus: Weekly Flower Delivery

32. A. Chapter Twenty Eight: Squiggly Seaweed Dance✨ // 🌹Special Bonus: Weekly Flower Delivery

32. B. Chapter Twenty Eight: Mars and the Moon✨

33. (Updated!) Profiles Part One: The Sophomore and The Graduate✨

34. (Updated!) Profiles Part Two: A Bunch of Bickering Besties✨

35. Chapter Twenty Nine: Calm down, Bella Swan✨

36. A. Chapter Thirty: Half Burnt Omelette with Lemon Zest✨

36. B. Chapter Thirty: Shinee First, Always❤️✨

37. A. Chapter Thirty One: Business Management Department✨

37. B. Chapter Thirty One: Say No More✨

38. Chapter Thirty Two: No, it's Ryan Reynolds✨ (✒️)// Mini Bonus

39. A. Chapter Thirty Three: Mr. Worldwide✨

39. B. Chapter Thirty Three: Autocorrect is crazZzyyy✨

40. A. Chapter Thirty Four: Who's Pregnant?✨

40. B. Chapter Thirty Four: Trickster and His Lil Tease✨

✨Epilogue (Part One): [✨1.1] 💛 [✨1.2] 💛 [✨1.3] 💛

✨Epilogue (Part Two): [✨2.1]

🌸

Please do not repost, modify or claim these images.

[jubilantwriter]

Jaspvid Week 2021: Day 2 - Baking

(AO3)

@jaspvid-week

Togetherness is Soft and Warm

Summary:  Based off of Ellohcee's Kiki's Delivery Service AU.

David forgets that working for Clementine means more than just making deliveries. An impromptu lesson is all it takes to remind David of how rewarding it is to create something to share with another. Bread isn't always meant to be eaten alone, after all.

Word Count:  3121

////

It's a rather slow day in the bakery today.  David blows his bangs out of his face as he slouches behind the cashier, watching as the townspeople go about their merry way.  It's a nice and sunny day out, and he's only a little bit jealous that he's in here working while everyone else is enjoying the sunshine.  Ah, well, he needs a little bit more money anyways - there was a nice looking cat dish that he wanted to get for Max since the little black cat keeps complaining about the dish he has now.  A bored sigh escapes him as yet more people walk by the bakery.  Not a single customer so far, and he's been sitting here for what feels like ages.

"Davey?"  A sweet voice calls for him from the kitchen. 

"Yeah?"

"Can you come here for a mite?"

"Okay!"  He hops off the stool happily and walks into the kitchen, the heat from the ovens blowing up against his face as he blinks in surprise.  "...Oh!"

"Oh, sorry, hun."  Clementine dusts off her hands with a laugh and gestures towards him to come closer.  "I take it's pretty borin' out there, huh?"

He fidgets with his black shirt and shrugs.  "I mean, it's not too bad.  Sometimes someone will wave at me when they pass by!"

"Hmm, do they now?"

"Yeah!  And, um, they all seem to be enjoying the sun too, and they all look so relaxed..."

Clementine chuckles as she bends down to David's level.  "Do ya wanna take a break from work for a bit?"

"N-no!"  With an embarrassed blush, he waves his hands frantically in front of him.  "I don't mind working!  Who knows, maybe someone will need a delivery soon!"

"That's very true!"  Clementine nods along, her bun bouncing as she straightens up.  "But... hm..."  She taps her chin, looking off into the distance.  Curious, David follows her line of sight and sees her staring at nothing in particular.  

"Is something wrong, Ms. Clementine?"

"Just a bit."  She cradles her head in her hand as she sighs dramatically.  "Ya see, the bread's been sellin' like hotcakes since you joined with your lil delivery service, but I haven't been able to keep up with the demand!"

"Is that so?"  He gasps and covers his mouth.  "Oh no, I'm so sorry!"

"Now now, that's not a bad thing!"  She takes his hands and lowers them from his mouth.  "It's a good thing, really!  It just means I gotta work a little extra harder to keep everyone happy."  With a wink, she lets go of his hands to reach for a spare apron.  "And since it's mighty slow out there, I was wonderin' if you'd like to help me in here instead?"

"You mean... to bake bread?"  He looks over at the roaring ovens, and then to racks of cooling baked goods that lined the walls.  "But... it looks like you've already got enough to sell."

"Don't be silly!"  She walks over to the flour covered counter and pats it.  "What I've learned in all my years of bein' a baker is that there is always someone who needs a little treat, be it a roll or a muffin or even a warm, fresh loaf."  She smiles and gestures him over, helping him put the apron on with ease.  The old thing covers up most of his dark clothes, and she adjusts the bandanna around his neck so that it too can be partially covered with the apron.  "Plus, it'll be loads of fun to bake with someone else for a change!  I know I do most of my bakin' in the morning, but it won't hurt to do some smaller batches during a slow time, don'tcha think?"

"Mmmm..."  He rocks back and forth on his heels, looking out to where the front of the bakery is still quiet and empty, and to the kitchen where Clementine is grinning with a bright smile.  With a nod, he smiles back bashfully.  "Okay, I wanna help!"

Baking bread always did seem like a lot of fun!  Whenever he crept down a little too early, he'd always see Clementine hard at work, the dough she prepared the previous night already being shaped and kneaded and worked to perfection, and the smells...

Goodness!  And now he gets to help in making such treats!

"Wonderful!"  She claps her hands together and giggles, a small puff of flour erupting from her hands as she does so.  David laughs along and stands eagerly by her side as she pulls out a dusty bowl.  "Now, we'll be startin' from scratch here, so would ya kindly get me-"

The door to the store opens as the bell jingles.  Max walks in from the front, his feline face scowling as he yowls at David.  "Hey!  You've got a visitor!"

"Hold on," he keeps the apron on as he stops Clementine from going to the front herself, "I've got this!  It'll just be a sec."

"Alrighty, hun."

He grins as he races to the front, intent on helping their customer as quickly as possible.  "Hi, how can I-!"

"Davey!"  Jasper rests his arms on the cashier's counter, grinning brightly as he does so.  "There you are!"

"Jasp!"  He runs over and hugs the other boy, the two of them laughing brightly as they part.  "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I was feeling kinda hungry, and I thought, hey!  The bakery's got some sweet bites, and I'll get to see Davey!"  

"Oh!  If that's the case, is there anything you want?"

"Hmm..."  Jasper looks around the bakery, hovering by the shelfs and displays as he sizes up all the treats.  With a grin, he turns back to David and shrugs.  "Dunno!  What do you suggest?"

"Um, lemme see..."  He walks over to Jasper's side and looks at all the baked goods on sale.  There's muffins, rolls, biscuits, sweet breads, and so on... but perhaps, because he's been living with Clementine for a good few months, despite the good quality of all the food, he can't help but think that they've been sitting out too long and gotten a bit... cold.

When he thinks of a pleasant treat, he imagines it fresh from the cooling rack, warmth still radiating off of it, but having rested long enough that when he bites into it, all of the flavors that Clementine had carefully worked into the dough comes out perfectly.  He taps his chin and looks around the bakery some more.  His gaze lingers to the back of the bakery, where Clementine still waits for him.

Maybe... if he asks nicely...

He grabs Jasper's hand, shocking the other boy as he tugs him towards the kitchen.

"W-woah!  Davey, hang on-"

"Ms. Clementine!"  His call startles the woman, her reverie broken from where she was busy petting Max as he drank some milk.  "Is it okay if Jasper joins too?"

"Hm?"  Her gaze lands on the brunet standing next to David, the boy suddenly bashful and nervous as his hand is held tightly in David's.  "...Oh!  Of course, I don't mind at all.  You know what they say - the more the merrier!"  Before Jasper can protest, she looks around and finds one more spare apron.  She quickly puts it on Jasper, the poor boy being dragged about too quickly for him to keep up with the energy of both redheads.  "There we are!"

"What- what are we doing?"  Jasper finally manages to get a word, looking at David bewildered as the other boy grins and tugs him towards the counter.

"We're making bread!  Or something!  Actually, I'm not too sure."  He looks over to Clementine as she begins setting the ingredients on the table.  "What are we making?"

"Well, it can be anything you'd both like."  She hums thoughtfully to herself as considers the options.  "We can make something small, like biscuits and cookies.  Or we can make something filling, like pies if I've got the ingredients for it.  Or we can just do something simple!  Like a bread of sorts."  

"Hmmm..."  David taps his chin and looks to Jasper.  "What do you think?"

"Mmm, how about something sweet?"  Jasper meets David's gaze and grins.  "I think sweet breads are pretty stellar!"  

"I'm okay with that!"

"Sweet bread it is then."  

Clementine is incredibly patient with them as they bumble their way through her instructions.  Flour is spilt here and there, but she merely laughs it off and helps them make the right measurements.  David is intent on following her instructions through and through, though Jasper tries to have his own little ideas once in a while.

"Jasp!"  David bats away a giggling Jasper as he holds an orange up in his hands.  "We don't need that!"

"Hmm... actually."  Clementine holds her hand out and Jasper places it into her hand.  "I think we can do something with this."

"Like what?"  Jasper's mischief changes to genuine curiosity as she takes a tiny looking grater out.  

"Well, oranges are sweet, aren't they?  And the rinds of these fruits make for a lovely smell."  She rubs the rind against the grater, producing a zest as Jasper and David ooh and ahh next to her.  "Why don't you keep this up for me, Jasper?"

"Yes ma'am!"  He dutifully takes the orange from her and mimics her actions, his tongue sticking out a bit in concentration.  David can't help the giggle that escapes him as he watches Jasper work.  The brunet looks over at his giggle and makes a confused grin.  "What's so funny?"

"You were making a funny face, like this!"  He mimics Jasper's earlier look, earning a laugh from the other boy as he then makes a more exaggerated face.  This draws a stronger laugh from David as they continue to make faces at each other.  

"Now now, no horsin' around!  We still have bread to make," Clementine chastises, but her tone is anything but harsh as she smiles fondly.  "We still got plenty to do!"

"Yes, ma'am!"  

The rest of the time is filled with aimless chatter as the two boys follow her instructions, mixing the fresh orange juice and zest into the dough.  Jasper at one point managed to smear some flour on David's cheek, resulting in David smearing some flour on his face in retaliation.  Before they can start chasing each other around the counter, Clementine has them watch her knead the dough before letting the boys each take their turn.  Jasper is all gusto as he pushes and pulls the dough energetically before getting tired.  David takes over, and he tries to be more precise than Jasper, making sure the dough isn't too sticky before looking over to Clementine for her nod of approval.  When she dubs it done, she takes the dough and places it to the side and covers it.

"And now we wait for it to rise."

"Won't it take long?"  David looks out the window and frowns, the sun setting in the distance as worry sets in.  "Jasper, will you be able to stay long?"

"Mmm... well, I think I can push it until a little after eight."  He folds his arms behind his head and smiles wide.  "I should have some time until then!"

"That we do.  Why don't we bake some other things like cookies?"

"Yeah!"

Baking, as it turns out, is much more exciting than he anticipated.  There's something amazing with being able to make something from scratch with his own hands.  Sure, he's made eggs and pancakes before, but he's never truly baked.  And having Jasper next to him adds to the fun as the boy turns to do silly things that make David laugh.  For instance, trying to juggle a few eggs before one of them lands on his head.  Or even mixing the batter a little too fast and getting bits of it all over his face and apron.

Whatever Jasper does never fails to bring a smile and a laugh to David's face.  Nighttime comes far too quickly, and by the time Clementine pulls out their final batch of muffins and cookies, Jasper makes a startled jump as he checks the time on his watch.

"Shnikes!  It's super late!"  He rushes to pull the apron off in a panic.  "Aw man, my mom's gonna kill me-"

"Hold on, let me help!"  David unties the knot from behind and takes the apron from Jasper.  "There we go!"

"Now just a min," Clementine says as she walks to the front of the bakery, grabbing a paper bag and dropping a few of their recently baked goods into it.  She hands it to Jasper with a smile.  "For you and your ma."

"Oh, thanks," he says, fumbling to reach into his pocket to pay.

"No need, hun!"  She begins pushing Jasper towards the door as he stammers and tries to argue.

"But I gotta pay-!"

"Sweetheart, you helped make the treats, you don't gotta pay a cent for them!"  With a chuckle, she gently pushes him out the door and winks to David.  "Now why don't y'all say goodbye real quick while I go clean up and close the shop?"  She waves to them as she retreats back to the kitchen, leaving David and Jasper by themselves.  Jasper grins easily, holding the bag with one arm as he turns to face David.

"Honestly, I didn't think I'd be baking today when I came to get a snack," he says lightly, making David laugh awkwardly as he rubs his arm, "but I had a lot of fun!  It's... kinda nice to learn something else for once."

"Yeah, and it was nice to hang out with you here in the bakery.  I know I haven't been around much since I've got to do my deliveries and stuff but...  I promise to hang out with you more!"

"Nah, don't sweat it."  Jasper winks easily as David looks away with a blush.  "If anything, I'll just come find ya myself!"  

"Like today!"  They both share a laugh before Jasper shuffles his feet awkwardly.  

"Well," he says with a soft smile, "guess I'll be catching you on the flipside later?"

"Of course!  I miss flying with you, especially since the weather is so nice right now..."  He sighs, disappointment settling in as he realizes that he'd been spending more time working and training than he did taking time for himself.  A small voice reminds him to be careful, before he burns himself out again.  Before he can dwell anymore on his thoughts, a hand lands on his shoulder as Jasper's crooked grin greets him.

"We can do it whenever you're free.  I'm always willin' to wait for ya, no matter how long it takes.  You know me, I won't get upset."

"...Of course not."  A smile finds its way back to David's face.  Jasper always did have that special talent of cheering David up.  

It's probably why...

"Oh- shoot, I really should go now."  Jasper backs away quickly when he realizes the time yet again, awkwardly running backwards as he waves to David.  "We'll fly again soon!  See ya later, Davey!"

"Bye, Jasp!"  He waves to his retreating figure until he can't see him no longer.  As he walks back into the bakery to lock up, he finds that the entire place feels... more empty than it usually is.  Max coils around his feet, looking up at David with an unimpressed look.

"Stop moping," the cat says, stretching himself out as he leads David back to their room, "it's not like he's gonna be gone forever."

"Still..."  He sighs softly and looks around the kitchen, Clementine already gone now that their mess has disappeared.  "I kinda miss him already."

"Oh YUCK, that's DISGUSTING."  Max makes a hacking sound, making David chuckle at his dramatic antics.  

"What?  It's not wrong to miss friends after they leave!"

"Sure.  Friends."  Max quickly walks away, looking over his shoulder to glare at David.  "Now hurry up!  I wanna fucking sleep."

"Max!"  He follows after the cat, a little thought tugging at this thoughts.  "We talked about this- OH NO, THE BREAD!"

-----

Clementine wraps up the loaf in paper and slips it into the bag.  It's a start of another day, and he's actually got a few deliveries to make.  She smiles as she hands him a slip with a name and address.  

Jasper McFadden.  

She winks and pats his shoulder.  "It's still gonna be warm if you manage to fly as quickly as you normally do."

He blushes and hugs the delivery close to his chest.  "Right.  Um, see you later, Ms. Clementine!"  

"Fly safely now!"

He runs out of the store and quickly settles himself on his broom, concentrating with an ease that comes second nature to him.  The lift off is seamless, and he launches himself high into the air, already soaring towards his destination.

As he circles around the familiar neighborhood, a voice calls out to him from high walls as the brunet signals him down.  "Davey!"

"Hey!  I've got a delivery for you!"

"What's it?  I don't remember ordering anything."  Jasper takes the offered bag from David and pulls out a nicely braided loaf.  The soft sheen and sweet smell of oranges immediately has Jasper widening his eyes.  "Oh!  This is the bread we made yesterday!"

"Yeah, Ms. Clementine wanted me to deliver your fair share."  He stays on his broom as he hovers by Jasper.  "It should still be warm so you should try a slice!"

"Hmm, actually," Jasper looks up at David with a mischievous smile, "do ya have any other deliveries to do?"

"Um, no I don't think so."

"Sweet!"  He holds up the bread to David's eye level and gestures him down.  "Wanna try some with me?"

His heart soars at the suggestion, and he lands all too quickly as he stumbles into Jasper.  The other boy catches him easily and laughs as David straightens himself out.  

"I take it that you wanna eat some?"

"Yes!"  He grins brightly, already looking forward to spending more time with Jasper.  The scent of the warm bread wafts between them as Jasper leads him towards his house.  As they tear into it with jams and butter, the softness of the bread shows of their combined hard work, and Jasper makes a show of pointing out each little bit of zest that he made to his mother and David.  The bread is fluffy as he pulls the braid apart to eat it.  Perhaps its his bias to freshly baked goods, or maybe just simply the fact that he made it himself with Jasper and Clementine - whatever the reason may be, David just can't help but think that this bread is the sweetest he's ever tasted.  

[watsername]

can you maybe link the recipe pls? ^_^

i don’t have the website i got it from but i wrote it down in my lil book i’ll put it under the cut

mushroom pasta sauce but salty modified it a little (doesn’t read the recipe)

• mushrooms (i like chestnut mushroom) . use more than you think you need that’s what i���ve learned.

• onions. i think you’re supposed to use half an onion. i tend to use 2 shallots instead bc they’re smaller and i don’t want to have leftover onion sitting about . shut up they don’t taste THAT different

• garlic. i use like 2 really big cloves. 2-3 regular cloves maybe

• white wine (i’ve never measured it i just pour some and say yeah that looks like enough)

• lemon zest. (or juice if you can’t get lemons bc sainsburys hasn’t had them the past 3 times you’ve gone in)

•heavy cream /double cream (enough to coat the pasta decently)

•parmigiano reggiano <- just use parmesan i’m pretentious

• parsley . sprinkle .

1. put a little olive oil into a small pan and caramelise the shallots/onion

2. in a bigger pan melt a tsp of butter and add a little olive oil, sauté your mushrooms.

3. add the garlic (minced) and onion/shallot into the mushrooms, add the wine and let reduce

4. add in the cream and grate in some parmesan. stir that up.

5. add in your lemon and some parsley

6. if you’re making it with pasta strain your pasta and stir the pasta into the sauce . if the sauce is too thick for your liking go ahead and add a little bit of pasta water

7. plate and top with more parmesan and parsley

i know this isn’t a really helpful recipe i never follow recipes exactly but i’m gonna keep looking and see if i can find where i got this from

[modern-sybil]

What’s ur favorite desert? Or favorite food?

Desert - plain cheesecake. Just..... Plain. Not new york style with the sour cream on top. Don’t fucking even look at my serving while holding chocolate or a berry. Just fucking cheesecake. Nothing else. Nothing extra. That white delicious creamy goodness on a nice crust and No Funky Monkey Business.

And food - I like spicy noods. Basically, it is a simple and cheap recipe i made a lot when i lived alone and still try to make at least once or twice a month. You cook pasta (i like angel hair best) and then the sauce is hella lots of peanut butter + a good blob o’ sriracha + hoisin (asian barbecue sauce) + rice cooking wine (just a lil bit) + soy sauce (the darker the better) + lime (both the juice and the zest). You water down the sauce with reserved pasta water until it is nice and gloopy and dump it all the fuck over your noodles and Dig In. Best eaten with chopsticks because i’m That Bitch. it is Fucking Delicious and i have references to that fact.

[ckcker]

Fear of Being There

The scientists put 3D glasses on a cuttlefish I read in an article, which I pair with the unread email from a friend of twelve years sitting one tab away, it appears to partly be a link to some video.  Feeling brave, I gather speed and push to the open email, purposefully ignoring all of the friend’s written message to zoom into the thumbnail of the video link they shared with me, which shows on one side of the thumbnail the shocked open mouth of a drag queen reacting to what I assume to be the most heinous transgression.  On the other side, a porcupine’s needles blasting from inside the mid-section of what appears to be a burmese python.  “How could this scenario have ever happened,” I ask myself as I don’t click, then scan the message written above the link:

“are you still in Kansas City??”

“I saw our high school English teacher walking in the park with a huge clump of moss stuck on her ass, I’ve been wanting to tell you that for a long time”

“Carrie is in NA now and I never see her.  also I adopted a dog”

“I’m sad I haven’t heard from you in a long time but I respect that you are just doing your thing, doing what you think is best for you, I love you.  enjoy this video of a drag queen screaming as she watches a porcupine impale a boa constrictor from the inside, it really made me laugh.  It’s not real”

“I would love to visit some time if you’d have me, I would love a long road trip, no pressure.”  

All I ever felt towards this person was worry; they were frequently to be found painfully descending the valley of some knotty, unlubed parabola.  Suicide often seemed on the table though it was never openly discussed, and what was discussed and unburdened between us never seemed to offer this person any relief.  But, I had not seen them in almost two years — still, I worried.  The gristle of sympathy.  Though now I could only think this person a bit stupid for not electing revenge as the only compatible solution.  They wallowed, tried to make inroads on the community around them, multi-tasker, all I did was worry, wonder if there was no chance for them.  On my better days I in fact stopped worrying because I resolved to believe that there was no chance for them.  On worse days I used to encourage them to online date, to take classes in some technical craft and escape minimum wage, incredibly coming from me who has yet to escape minimum wage, I bloated them with the most despicable general advice most likely invented by some phantom community and popularized by rotating day time talk show cryptids.  I surprised myself, the self-help industry deluge came spilling readily from my own mouth, I had no other advice to give. No effect.  I had no idea what could help someone, I did not respond to the e-mail, the scientists put 3D glasses on the cuttlefish to study if it uses stereoscopic vision to hunt, love that.

I responded to the email by going out for a long walk.  The walk proceeded as planned.  And then, in front of my eyes, the glistening juice of a misdirected frappé bronzed itself on the sunlit sidewalk.  It was June.  The person who bought then dropped it when attempting to give their companion a lil sip seemed one or two involuntary grunts away from the most amateur keening. We did not know each other and passing by I said nothing, in another hour and a half it would be sunset and that was the daily alarm for my worst and most stupid memories.  

Walking without a plan for a couple miles had led me to nothing specific: a popular cafe with drive-thru option, and the entrance to some truncated nature preserve with an ample parking lot, that I barely observed.  The humiliated and frappé-less melody of the forlorn customer began to spread over my shoulder, I averted my gaze from the nature preserve to treat it as if an attractive face I was intimidated by.  The only use for such a pathetic nod to wilderness in an urban area should be frequent alien abduction.  I knew better than to hope for that, I was not a good multi-tasker and did best with a single plan of attack.  And I already had a good plan, through subtle make-up I was looking older by the day (more like the month).  Pretty soon I would dye my hair grey.  I considered it was something the young people of the era liked to do and not for the reason of appearing aged.  In fact, more than anything this coalition of young and old visual signifiers increased the proof of their wrinkle-free faces and accentuated the domineering stylistic awareness inherent to youth in a, unnaturally long energy-sucking sigh, capitalist country.  I continued to high step forward like a finickety markhor in a fugly mood. Then, finding myself facing a hard-to-cross state highway I concluded, “oh, haha…ok, ah……that’s fine” and turned back towards the unused nature preserve parking lot, “I am almost too far away from home anyway.” I sat on a curb on the side farthest away from the road.  Looking across the street I saw that the customer and friend had started to kiss.  A simple solution to the loss of the drink.  His body turned awkwardly, I allowed myself to espy the torque of the male’s twisted cargo short pocket and felt very little.  I was turned away from the forest preserve entrance, at sunset I would have the executioner’s urge to once again survey and prepare my Doha nights.  

The arrival of sunset did not derail my day, but it always succeeded in sequestering my concentration so as to remember that, perhaps, time — I felt fully sick of telling myself about it.  I would prefer an obsession more traditionally fun, there was something about the way the eyebrows (with near-unibrow between) met the sharp lines at the top of the hyrax-like nose of Q.C.’s gradually-hot-to-me face.  I did not spend too much time thinking on him, I had little control over my eyes when in his presence. Worse, attempting to appeal to him would mean calling off the whole ambitious deterioration project, which was fully under my control/the best path forward.  I did not spend much time thinking of him when not in his presence and the collective shimmy of maple tree leaves in the breeze appealed to my left side as it carried on through the row of trees behind me.  A sparrow bopped around the swath of thick grass to my right and was not interesting at all.  I knew I felt this about the sparrow because I turned away from it quickly.  Finally I rotated towards the nature preserve entrance.  Was this an opportunity for me to snag a poesis?  I wanted to be home in my bed alone.  I also wanted to pretend to be thriving, inspired and free.  I wanted to try to see the world for the first time again.  

I got up and started towards the forest path with the confidence and direction of the professional managerial class.  To appeal to Q.C. would involve a gravitational u-turn, I would have to cut my hair better, with more style and intention, I would have to once again attempt to wear clothes that mostly fit my body, with careful monitoring of the area where jeans could be hit firm with zested glute.  I would have to invest much mental analysis into determining how to embody his desire.  I would have to keep emphatic track of my body language and reactionary expressions when near him so as to appear at least some low level of confident and laid back.  The antithesis of an angry errant stump, sucking vengeance through an ancient straw lined with obsidian spikes that clacked ominously against dentures I did not need.  I could not appear as “depressed for two.” Again, and worst of all, I would have to deselect the only source of direction for the future, my only true idea for satisfaction: the pursuit of my literally new age.  My only chance to repair my original timeline, by controlling my own time.  The old tension between wanting badly to be noticed and desired by others, and wanting that definition of freedom which is the refusal of all external attention, both approval and disapproval, in order to bring about the most contained stability — of course that tension ran me ragged once again.  That wan zit, it really seemed scripted at this point, I worked very hard to send it to the background.  My body clearly sensed this when it activated the release of an ear wax ball the shape and weight of a gently used cheek piercing stud.  The feeling associated with its premiere and gruesome launch was similar to just catching the last concrete appearance and subsequent fadeout of a semi-interesting-but-ultimately-unremarkable ghost of a 52 year old coffee mug.

I entered the forest, which began with a layer of joyless mulch.  The opening of the trail had dimensions so wide even the most sexually depraved plant had little chance to gak its repressed gropeage on a passing body.  I looked up as I walked, realizing the only animal likely to be spotted here, at this time of day, would be a bird.  Perhaps I might see a hawk or turkey vulture.  My survey resulted only in the very soft swaying of stacked green branches in front of striated and unremarkable clouds.  After watching this gentle tableaux for about thirty seconds, I wanted to more than violently shake an in-his-prime Ansel Adams, ask him what in the unconscionably labyrinthine fauxhawk I’d just seen. Would he have looked twice at this sky — my glance still directed upwards, I heard its scabrous chirp before I saw it, and then I saw it and immediately hated its presence: a sparrow had landed on an oak branch forty feet above my head and wanted to stay there.  I refused to let it observe me, turning to it I suddenly screamed in the timbre of an aggressive synth orchestra hit.  Continuing my walk after compartmentalizing its non-reaction, I wondered how I might make these natural surroundings matter to me.  They made no inherent argument that profoundly engorged the fun bags, perhaps because I was generally hooked into things by chaos, aggression and arguments, not by continuity or bucolia.  I could identify the simpler trees at least.  Of course pines and maples were easy, birch too.  I could usually confirm oak and cherry through guesswork. Otherwise I wandered through a forest in a skein of unskilled silence, in some beta-level abyss that was never fact-checked.  I didn’t know if having the names of mosses and wildflowers and mushrooms made it easier to appreciate the woods I forced myself into.  That I recognized and questioned such absences in myself was part proof that I felt a large component missing in the ongoing construction of respect for humble surroundings, and part recall of an inherent tendency to not care much about my own construction.  Against the spirit of the times, I spurned the concept of “personal development,” both in the thought directives I gave myself, and in the level of base inertia and hatred of fitness that exposed me as down-low sirenia.  “Personal development” — I did not trust the idea.  But moderate walking was acceptable to me and I continued to walk.  All trees beside me were suddenly activated by a quite beefy breeze from inside the forest.  Mood was present.  And along the audio effects of the wind in heavy leaf-covered branches, I thought I heard a rustling in a different tempo one-hundred feet further along the path.  A clench shuttered my body.  Once, I was reckless.  I entered badly lit hotel rooms brimming with silhouettes of animatronic movements.  I took pills handed to me, only asking after I swallowed them what they were (bottom tier migraine medication).  These days nearly any situation outside my apartment brought the inflamed trance of cautious thoughts.  Where I seemed to hear the sound I saw nothing but the continuation of breeze, and felt fully the irregular welts of my prey mentality.  

But I did not turn to exit.  The introduction of humidity into early summer pumped a new game in me anyway, the godforsaken thirst for some swell of “possibility.”  Against my addiction to titanium cowardice, flicked this vague and acidic proposition for adventure — that most rancid word of careerist travel influencers and successful stunt doubles.  Heavy hot air seemed to ferment a perennial wildness of feeling that, in other weather conditions, remained neatly veiled in self-suck.  I hated that I could still be easily infiltrated by this hormonal illusion of “anything can happen,” despite all my malevolent associations with the phrase.  It was important to make a list of all the things that are possible. “Anything can happen” was a sloppy mantra full of menace and probably popularized at some point in the late 20th century to sell mini frozen bagels with pizza toppings.  The list of all the things that are possible is the list of most crucial truth, it is a list that serves as sublime prep for someone who has been through the full consummation of “anything can happen,” when the thing that happened was a mind-shedding, unmentionable thing.  I knew the culture at large was heavily against such a distrust of possibility, as the concept suggested monumental change and always for the better — the potential of fortune.  I also knew it was against the cosmetic grafting of extra skin to make what I suddenly decided to refer to as ‘my boys’ look especially wrinkled and saggy.  I stood still and surveyed the way partial sunlight glazed on and off the nearest bush of presumably poisonous berries.  I briefly turned around and took in the forest entrance in the distance, and beyond it the suggestion of abridged midwestern meadow, now also washing in and out of sunlight with an unpunished laze, that I felt very unused to.  Nowhere else in my life, to which I paid attention, obeyed that kind of rhythm.  This statement was immediately wrong and a direct contradiction of my slow motion lifestyle.  I allowed the statement to stand because its wistful gush was enjoyable, roughly spiritual, and juicy.  

It brought thoughts of a nightmare I once had that eventually, through sustained lack of action, curdled into just a dream, a dream that had a trolled atmosphere of never-ending.  A dream that felt three years long.  A nightmare-incubated dream that appeared seven months after that moment of apex possibility and only the second dream after.  

There was a group of us.  We were in a house, we didn’t know we were in a slasher movie, we had thought it was a self-liberation biopic.  We were pursued by a presence we did not expect.  But every time there was a shot of the killer, the killer had been deleted in post.  Only a tense and expectant camera followed us around, and we screamed at empty spaces at the top of the staircase and in corners of rooms.  Dissonant music accompanied us, which, now knowing we were in a horror movie, we expected and rolled our eyes at. But we never saw the killer and nobody ever died.  

I also remembered the first dream I had after the event, it was very short and involved me waking up at 7am to give a dog one cup of dry food.  The density of hanging leaves in the forest began to inch a feeling of haunch and ceiling overhead, the light landing on the settled foliage only in splatters of rhapsodic dag.  The inevitable feeling of being alone in the woods, despite the steady wash of faraway highway motors, is intimacy with something.  You believe you are not being seen, when small and mundane animals see you, it means absolutely nothing.  With a bear or mountain lion in the mix, at last you will truly feel “seen.”  I was in a freely neglected and shrunken nature preserve on the edge of a midwestern city, I did not think it was possible to be seen by a bear and so I did not feel like I could be noticed.  Thus I felt intimacy.  

The content of that intimacy had zero intellectual value.  It was only the comfort of being fully hidden, safe and alone.  I was impressed by how much thick cover the trees supplied since the preserve itself was state park theater.  The trees hid me from the sky, repressed my existence from something that could watch me.  I basked.  I thought of the substantial bulge of an older male in tight-fitting jean shorts.  In this context of feeling unseen, it seemed the thru line of my consciousness in bringing up such an image was the keyphrase, “something hidden.”  The intimacy began to retreat as a counter.  Again, my head disenrolled me from a healing terrestrial feeling; it looked at nature with vast inexperience, it pursued a perspective of mountainscape print out.  I tried to recover the hypnotic sap of that momentary solitude and continued walking. Of course the interruption of erotica in mind is one of the more iconic nature moves.  And yet for some reason it seemed to unravel the hallmark atmospherics of a more investigative mystery.  Such a divide was proven by watching my pivots of attention between two tickles.  For instance, on one side, direct observation of a boner. The other side, fog covering an empty island highway at night.  I thought I knew well the narrative arc of a priapism, and I thought I did not yet know much about the carnage in my seeping memories.  It seemed obvious — of the things that controlled me, I prioritized with meaning the one I did not know much about.  And instinctively, being alone under thick canopy felt like good setup for that kind of self-irrigation.  I thought of the bulge again then saw another sparrow and after it reasonably bopped about for a skoach I suggested to it, “get away from me fuckface.” Again it did not move.  

I walked several paces off the path and leaned against a definite oak trunk, wondering if my old person stage makeup was still intact, glancing towards the voyeuristic rays of sun slipping through the trees, well diffused and beginning their noticeable descent.  I listened.  After approx. twenty seconds of listening I heard the long-churning spew of a motorcycle gunning down the road about a quarter mile away, somehow powerful enough to overwhelm the peaks of forest ambience with its quite rascally discharge, hunh, the streaks of horrific classic rock revival spraying after it.  I thought, “stop subverting me,” then felt the newly introduced stance of someone in my peripheral vision.  They did not advance or retreat but did fidget.  Probably, I could not be sure without glancing directly, pretending to look up something on their phone.  They seemed about fifteen feet away from me, I considered if I would have to kill them in self-defense.  

“How’s it going?” a man’s voice directed at me from the trail, giving me permission to look at him directly.  A balding but well-maintained buzz of greying black hair, glasses, a thin white-yellow-green-black button down tartan print department store shirt tucked into leather belt and loose fitting blue jeans, the eye eventually and uncontrollably being led down to the neon pink, orange and yellow running shoes with white laces low-key dusted in a sampling of diaphanous schmutz.  My “hi” was squeezed out with full defenses.  The man did not say anything back but immediately enacted some plan of his, made obvious in his eyes that pressed on my face with an unmistakable singularity. He pursued unbroken eye contact to evaluate the potentiality of the interaction. I responded by looking away, remembering it was a powerful move in the game. I also refused to believe he thought me attractive enough for whatever in-development future passed through his turgescent nethers.  As a mature adult, I was no longer available to rawk out with my cawk out but clearly the cast of desperation on the man made it possible for me to appear sexually acceptable, as evidenced by his not leaving.  Nor did I imagine that he produced much foregrounded desire in an m4m community; lastly he probably stayed because he was closeted.  I tried to maintain an appearance of clueless indifference, comparable in chillness to deciding to write ‘U R’ in a text message the same moment you observe a plastic bag fly in the wind towards a sleeping stray cat. Since the man did not leave or say anything, I also waited another 7-10 seconds in silence and downward glance.  Yet this tactic, usually so effective in social settings, had failed, and so I looked at him again.  And again the charged stare of non-verbal magic.  The humid air was beginning to slightly cool as the wind filled the space between my collar and neck, suggesting it might rain soon.  But behind the man’s head the sun, flanked by fleshy lard-swept clouds in various indigo exposures, was still visible.  I hoped if the increase in gusts continued that they might produce a temporary bald spot on the crown of my head as I said, “why are you looking at me?”

He did not immediately respond, but severed all links with my eyes.  I watched his glance minutely dart from one close location on my face to the next, “do you have makeup on?”

Each generation, freer than the last. The man did not know the answer for sure, but that he had noticed something was confirmed.  Very exciting, I beamed internally.  I controlled the beam.  There was still so much work to be done.  

Towards the man I projected breathtaking displeasure.  I assumed the keyed up tone of someone wanting to be regularly shared on the internet: “I’m just trying to enjoy the forest on my day off sis so don’t—” and shut off inexplicably, though recognizing as the system recoiled that the implication of this man’s advances had lightly cracked some automated timecode in my lower lefthand corner of frame.  My body — I had only felt it all of a sudden.  Shoulders were arched forward to protect my underbelly, chest was swollen and stuffed with the debris of a delayed reaction of terror, single inconsistent tingle in left leg suggested the tiniest strobing marquee aimed at the brain, suggesting “run.”  I had thought, this is not a dangerous situation at all.  A little unusual but not something I haven’t experienced before.  Something I could refuse and easily walk away from.  

The body had behaved differently.  Sunset mounted.  The body had believed it was going to die.  I hadn’t even noticed.  Internal monologue always suggested much to investigate when looking for a solution, it presented long interconnected hallways and sliding doors, considerations of escape and tactical movement.  It berated the body for not reading the situation correctly or at all, it hated the body’s spontaneous and inept mechanisms.  It relished any reference to the phrase “bassackwards” but in this case the body was right.  If I was to be killed by this person was still up in the air, I leaned towards no, but the body had not been reacting to my imminent death, only suggesting how relaxedly I pretended to advance through commercial district sidewalks, gas station candy aisles, cruisy chip bag-strewn forest preserves as if I’d never been reorganized by some sort of adaptation of death in which you survive. There was much work to be done, much work, to make the hair of my eyebrows more profuse and unkempt.  My nose hair, which was way too thin and manageable, samesies.  It was with the failure of a deep breath that the gauze of that summer sunset coaxed me back into the scene, despite the marquee now reading “Run II: Darkest Before Dawn.”  The man had not known how to respond to my ejection from the clapback.  I took stock, the forest appeared momentarily still and squirrelless.  His energy seemed as if grappling with the possible realities of what I was.  If crazy, at least in the way that interferes with verbal communication, I was no longer an option in his “mmm………damn”-ridden design.  If crazy but able to continue clear conversation, or if so shy as to appear only intermittently awkward in conversation with strangers, I was still a highly available mark.  

“Do you like it here?” he asked.  It seemed that micro makeup and abandoned sentences were not considered dealbreakers for someone in his position.  My body continued to want to leave and I stayed, he took a few steps forward, staring again with that binary intensity where the recipient must commit to its endgame or flash exit.  

A strap broke in me: I suggested, “I hate it here.”  The comment reached him. He looked as if to be re-processing me under a blank face but maintained his slow approach.  I was answering his questions coherently and so I was incredibly sexy, perhaps.  “I’m not doing well,” I followed up, using a long-acting smile-to-smirk succession in an attempt to muffle it.  

This was ignored, “I’ve got a pretty big one,” silence, breeze, sunset, wow — squirrel, “what are you looking for out here, alone?”  

Silence, squirrel, “you know where you are, right?”

Breeze, trees, sunset, reggaeton in the distance, instinct erupted — I stepped forward. “It’s not yet time for my annual anal,” my voice cracked.  “In fact, it won’t happen this year, or ever again.”  

A pause was produced, though it was clear he didn’t quite grasp my meaning.  I stood still, now staring at him in order to properly knead the info.  Finally a look of understanding on his face — “oh, I’m sorry” and he exited back up the trail, all spells dismantled.  

I remained in the woods.  I looked at the squirrel.  I even yearned to see a sparrow, uninterested in knowing why.  I allowed the intellectual regulations to rest, I listened to the joyous pump of prancing squirrel feet on twig-bedazzled forest floor.  I looked at the sunset, while blocking the word “beautiful,” and liked it.  I walked to the path, turning away from the exit with the rush of a recently liberated preteen spray-painting an anarchy symbol on the door of a rusty abandoned sedan next to discontinued freight train tracks that are overgrown with weeds and yellow wildflowers.  I wanted to walk deeper into the woods, I wanted to be in the woods when it got dark.  I wanted to be alone and without a mind.  Knowing it was untrue, I nevertheless proposed to myself, “I think I could cum just from being alone for 3 weeks.”  After a feisty fifty or sixty steps around the curving path, I met chain link fence separating the forest from a row of backyards and their respective single family homes.  I thought of the cliche of an evil character in a kid’s movie laughing maniacally for some time then very suddenly stopping to present a severe and unamused face.  It surfaced as a whimper.  

[sacredspiral]

🌿  warm + nourishing // sausage, kale & leek soup 🌿

*makes 8-10 good sized bowls *i used homemade turkey broth (scroll back 2 see a recipe for easy spiced veggie broth), but u can also use water! *treated my sick self to organic pork belly, rosemary & red wine sausage from my local butcher shop - amazing and filled with good stuff! use whatever tho!! *for herbs & spices, assume 2 thumb-sized pinches unless noted! Ingredients // spices: black peppercorns (x2), 1 bird’s eye chili, coriander, rosemary, 2 cardamom pods, cinnamon stick, 1 bay leaf, salt

-garlic, 5-10 cloves (rough chop)      -kale, 1 bunch (cut into rough ribbons)

-yellow onion, 2 medium (rough chop)  -leeks, 2 stems (cut into thin circles)

-brother, preferably homemade, or water (8 cups or more for brothier soup)

-1 lemon, zest and juice    -sausage, preferably local, ~1lb

Recipe // around one hour of kitchen + simmer time

*grind spices and add to large soup pot with a good amount of olive oil, a bay leaf, and the zest of a lemon. sauté on medium

*add garlic and onions, cook until translucent

*tear sausage into 1inch pieces and brown in pan. add a lil cider vinegar and the lemon juice, scrape up all the bits!! add salt!

*add leeks + kale, stir and cook until bright green, about 5 minutes. do you have enough salt? good question to consider here

*add broth or water (or a combination of both!). bring to a boil then reduce to a simmer for at least 25 minutes. 

*enjoy :-)

my body and my spirit deserve nourishing, warm, and lovingly made foods. food is not my enemy, it is my friend and tool to connecting with the world around me. food brings magic into my life. to create and share food is a divine act.

[1000-directions]

dearmrsawyer replied to your photo “good stuff 2-18-18 i feel like lately i’ve been prioritizing writing...”

HALLELUJAH for good new jeans!! also i want this bean salad recipe

hiya there is not really a recipe, it’s just kind of...grab whatever u have and throw it in the fridge to soak up flavors. i start with 3-4 cans of whatever beans and corn i have on hand, dump ‘em all in a collander and rinse all the gross bean juice off of them. it’s even cheaper if you use dry beans, but i’m too lazy for that tbh.

so you leave those guys in the sink to drain, and then you make some kind of dressing to go on it, so that’s just some acid + olive oil + salt. for acid, i usually use lemon juice but today i used limes instead. you can also use vinegar, but i like using citrus to cram more fresh sharp flavor into it. you can also use the zest of your fruit if you wanna kick it up a notch. so juice your citrus, drizzle in some olive oil while whisking with a fork. most dressing recipes say it should be mostly oil, but i don’t like it to feel too heavy or greasy. anyway, drizzle in a bit, whisk it up, give it a little taste. if it’s too sour and biting, keep adding oil, keep tasting, stop when it’s a good consistency. then throw in a little SALT to make those flavors POP. pepper is good too. i like a more tart, acidic dressing, but you can add some sugar or honey if you want it sweeter. i usually throw in a sweet onion to give the salad another texture, so if you’re doing that, chop it up, then leave the pieces to soak in the dressing to marinate and soften up just a lil bit.

and then just combine everything! i threw a bunch of green onion on top of mine this time. you can also throw in jalapenos, cilantro, hot sauce, my friend always adds salsa, whatever! store it in the fridge. all the dressing will run to the bottom, so give it a good shake before you eat it to get it all mixed up again. it will taste good the first day. it will taste awesome the third day.

DOES THIS EVEN COUNT AS A RECIPE? PROBABLY NOT? but i ate variations of this for lunch 3-4 times a week for like 18 months. a coworker and i would each make a batch basically every week and then we’d bring some for each other so that we didn’t have to eat exactly the same lunch every day.

[ydadrecipes-blog]

Obama’s Baby Mama’s Pomma Martini

YOU WILL NEED:

Citrus Vodka

Prosecco

Pomegranate Juice

Lemon Juice

Lemon Sugar (recipe below)

THIS IS HOW YA DO IT:

For the Lemon Sugar: Zest two lemon and combine it with two cups of sugar. Mix together. If the zest is super oily and the guar feels wet, just add more sugar till it is nice and fluffy. Take the leftover lemon sugar and ad that shit to some iced tea.

To a shaker full of ice, add the juice of one lemon, a hint of pomegranate juice, and as much vodka as you want.

~*Shake it up!*~

Rim the martini glass with a lemon and dip in your lemon sugar.

Pour a little bit of prosecco in the bottom of your martini glass.

Fill the rest of the glass with the drink from your shaker.

Take it to your lil American face :)

“Now Michelle Obama might be very into gun control, but I’ll tell you what, she loves the right to bear arms! One nation under that bod, am I right?!”