#with the whole annihilation and autonomy thing

[heliianth]

i care! indulge in the urge

okay, i'm going to try being as brief as possible

the... disappointing "fast friends forever" bio got me thinking about shadows messy but effective character arc leading up to 06 and how the nature of it is like a recipe to get people bothered about the whole "shadow's motivations have to do with maria's wish and nothing else" thing. and i do have commentary on that and how it plays into how no one agrees on fucking anything except segas characterization being bad. but i guess i want to commentate more on Why everyone agrees on his arc being important to the point of being mad that it gets ignored, despite like a majority of it happening in shth05 which is extremely unpopular among shadow fans for supposedly being like the first omen of impending character degradation, i guess

i see a lot of sentiments by people, especially in context with how shadow is written nowadays, asserting that there's more nuance to shadow's arrogant attitude than it seems, usually with the conclusion that it's born out of some insecurity and that he's trying to compensate for something, which i suppose is a natural conclusion when it comes to why someone would act the way he does

i've personally gone on record saying that this character trait is the fundamental flaw making communicating and connecting with others on any meaningful level extremely difficult for him, because he others himself as wholly unique and unable to be understood: if he's above, then he's alone (i'm using present tense here because it's the appropriate way to talk about this sort of thing, but ill get to that later). i do think this is a character trait he has or had at some point but no one ever seems to identify what this insecurity is with any sort of confidence beyond headcanons, and thats what i want to talk about real quick

yeah yeah, i said i was gonna be brief but theres a readmore. whatever.

shadow is a character who is intimately concerned with his place in the world and how he affects it. it's appropriate for a character who was artificially created in a test tube to worry about his purpose of creation, and that artificiality lent to a sense of non-autonomy. in sa2, shadow is constantly relying on others to tell him what his identity, and thus purpose, is. it's a huge nuance that i don't see brought up enough that he remains totally dedicated to blowing up earth despite it being implied that he begins developing doubts both through the lyrics of rhythm & balance (white jungle):

(it's a popular interpretation that the person talking to shadow here is supposed to be maria, considering he hallucinates her voice multiple times during sa2. i personally think it also ties into his newfound and unwanted care for rouge—that he is dismissing maria who is reminding him of her wish for revenge because it's making him feel too conflicted with the mission of white jungle. which is to save rouge from the bomb)

and because he reflects on an encounter with maria during which he questions his purpose and creation directly afterwards, telling her that he wonders if going down to earth will yield answers. which lets the audience know pretty directly that he's starting to ask these questions again. but it doesnt do anything because shadow doesn't have an identity outside of what others want from him yet.

(i suppose i should mention that this aspect of his character is also conveyed through his japanese dialogue specifically using boku 僕 but i feel like that's been covered to death and i don't know enough about japanese)

obviously, when he finds out that his memories were fucked with and maria's wish was different, he immediately switches sides without a second thought. his "last words" are even a reference to what she wanted from him, and the trailer to the final story mentions wishes as well ("are wishes eternal?" iirc), so it's clearly a huge part of shadow and the themes of sa2 as a whole.

i think this can be extrapolated a little bit into the idea that shadow is someone who is deeply terrified of annihilation. appropriate for an immortal who was artificially created to serve a greater purpose. this is, at least imo, central to his character and the reason why he's so adverse to autonomy—it leaves room to be annihilated. if he's a tool for another person, then he will always exist as an extension of someone else.

this character trait persists in later games after they resurrect him from the dead, often coming up in the form of him trying to recover his memories. it's kind of a no-brainer for an amnesiac character to seek answers about their past but it continually reoccurs with shadow to the point of making him come across as obsessive. though this could be read as both heroes and shth05 retreading the same ground (and that is probably the case LOL) i think it's understandable considering a) he got genuinely no closure in heroes b) apparently he eventually remembers maria's death and it effects him enough to dwell on it, indicating that its still a source of trauma, c) it's pretty expected for a dude who doesn't know how to form his own identity

the reason i mentioned shth05 and its reputation among shadow fans is because its the game where this trait is actually addressed in a way i feel is meaningful and it's where lots of people get the idea that shadow has grown away from relying on maria's wish to make decisions. the game features multiple different factions essentially ordering shadow what to do, all resulting in him making some definitive conclusion about his purpose, creation, and identity. he doesn't really make a single decision for himself beyond trying to recover the past (which is just as much a search for external direction as doing whatever someone says) in this game and it's completely in character because he's never really... done that. before. even his inclusion in team dark was rouge's decision. he talks big shit in this game about nobody telling him what to do but, like, actions speak louder than words do, man. someone should tell him that.

obviously we know the conclusion and its notable that the canonical ending of the game is vague in what route shadow took and any single choice always conflicts with dialogue, indicating that he didn't follow any route and that his decision to move on from his past was made after actually spending time not being a vessel for someone else's desires

i want to note that its really cool that the shadow android and the black arms hivemind stuff can be read as kind of a representation of annihilation—that shadow isn't unique, hes just another face in an identical crowd, not notable in any significant way. it's also worth pointing out that both of these situations land him under direct control of another person (eggman and black doom respectively) and that despite his lack of autonomy he takes issue with the androids and the black arms probably because he feels like he wouldn't be able to differentiate himself among a whole army. i have a suspicion that if he was approached individually and treated like he was special for being chosen to do a task, he would be much more compliant. which actually is kind of what happens in the dark routes when black doom retraumatizes him with images of the ark.

so uh. conclusion? shadow has learned how to be a person and sometimes acts like an arrogant cunt because he still hasn't unlearned his fear of annihilation, which requires making himself unique and unignorable. and we all know how much shadow bulldozes right over shit when he thinks its necessary.

i admit i dont know how to end this succinctly. its just interesting that shth05 is regarded as one of shadow's worst outings when its, like, the only game that really addresses what i would consider The Root Fundamental Flaw™ that is the source of all his other flaws in any meaningful way. it wouldve benefitted pretty heavily from a more cohesive story, yeah, and to say the execution left something to be desired would be an understatement. but it's centrality to shadow and who he is by the end of his arc (06) and how he should be written now is kind of unignorable and thats manifested in all of the (rightful) outrage over sega not allowing him to separate motivation from maria anymore. Despite the flack shth05 gets for mischaracterization

didnt quite intend for this to come across as defending shth05 as vehemently as it does, but. well. its just something i noticed! and i had lots to say!

[utopians]

I don't want to be that guy but that's not pseudoscience? The prefrontal cortex isn't fully developed until around the mid to late twenties bc the synaptic connections between neurons in that part of the brain are the last to develop. Source: https:// doi.org /10.1038/ s41386-021-01137-9

I think there might be a miscommunication happening here -- the pseudoscience isn't the assertion that synaptic development continues into adulthood, it's the assertion that synaptic development defines adulthood.

I have now read this whole article and the only assertion that it makes that's relevant to this discussion is that synaptic development continues "into the 3rd decade of life". this doesn't -- at least in my opinion -- give any meaningful credence to the idea that the brain isn't fully 'mature' until this point, bc this idea relies on the assumption that 'maturity' is a static biochemical state that the brain organically reaches and not a complex interplay of life experience, societal conceptions of 'maturity' and 'adulthood', and individual variations in development/cognition in addition to the broader process of brain development. additionally, 'brain development' is far more complicated than just the synapses of the prefrontal cortex finishing development, and is a process that continues throughout one's life.

CONTINUED below the cut bc I don't want to annihilate everyone's dash with this but I have a lot more to say

continuing the previous thought: if we're measuring maturity strictly by brain development, then things get extremely dicey, because the brain continues changing beyond your twenties and throughout adulthood! consider this study, which finds that the age of peak performance for different cognitive abilities varies widely, with some peaking around 20 and others closer to 50. the brain doesn't reach a state of 'maturity' in its cognitive functions at age 25 that it then maintains consistently through adulthood, it's far more complicated than that.

essentially, while synapses in the prefrontal cortex keep developing into your 20s (curious as to where you got 'mid to late twenties' from as well; the study only references 'the third decade of life', which could mean anything from 20 to 30), the idea that this development means anything particularly concrete about maturity or adulthood is based on (imo) a faulty and oversimplified understanding of both the brain and what 'maturity' actually means in the context of society. if your conception of 'maturity' asserts that adulthood begins in the late twenties, this conception may be due for a serious reevaluation.

and the reason I'm concerned about all this isn't because I'm a pedant -- it's because this matters in our current political climate. conservative politicians in the UK are currently trying to raise the legal age at which one can transition to 25 based on exactly this faulty conception of maturity, which argues that trans people can't make 'adult' decisions about their own bodies until this point. this is wildly infantilizing and patronizing, and I imagine I don't have to explain why it's a problem, but to elaborate: adulthood and maturity aren't apolitical concepts, and the assertion that adults don't have the right to bodily autonomy because they have been deemed medically incompetent by a truly arbitrary metric is an act of political violence.

I highly recommend this slate article: it goes into this topic in a lot more depth than I do, and features commentary from a lot of neuroscientists who know a lot more about this than me.

[vampirevatican]

so let's talk...

they cloned tyrone (spoilers and all)

SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES

"it's in the water", "straighter is greater", "i got that ruckus", "got damn! fried chicken", "grape juice", the shot of an old american dream like poster, depicting a white man, til it pans out to the ghetto.

the movie hints to it's audience from the start that this? this shit runs deep. yeah everyone is carrying on like normal, so does the movie, and no one bats an eye until it's deliberately pointed out. for me it says a lot that i can only convey or remind folks with in the way fontaine treats junebug in the first half.

hood niggas don't wanna be hood niggas.

and that right there is exactly fontaine. not only to just the brother he lost, but extended to junebug, yo yo, charles, his momma. sure he a product of his environment but he ain't got much of a choice and that's depicted when he does everything he can to get to the bottom of what the fuck is going on up 'til he literally loses control.

EXISTENTIAL CRISIS

seeing another you. loosing complete autonomy while being conscious of it.

what slick and 'taine saw? enough to make any human question the fabric of their reality, if they're real, if their memories are really theirs, how much can they recall in those memories and if they are recalling everything. when slick saw fontaine again and when fontaine first faced his previous body. 'taine's drive was figuring out if he's really him. hell as he was grappling with the chaos that it brings in his mind, what does he say when he finally snaps out of it?

im me.

as humans our lives, decisions, etc. come from some peace of mind that we have autonomy. the fact that we can say and do as we please, even if it's within a boundary, is enough for us to feel some kind of calmness in the thought that we have power over ourselves. can't control the world around me, can't do big shit, but i can do this. the little things.

all i could think was, 'but what if there's another you.. an original you.' and when his autonomy was put into question, him backing off like that and accepting it is a form of nihilistic defeat. he can't do shit but what he's always done, and if that means he or anyone else he loves doesn't die? then it's something he deals with, until it's too much to bear.. until the cycle of everyday (that he now knows is a cycle) weighs heavy and the only thing to pull him out of it? junebug. the good memories of his brother.

THE CLONES AND TIME

i had this originally titled and future, but the point here is the original/old fontaine and his plan.

i feel that old fontaine made that deal not just because of ronnie, or the decayed blood he has to wipe up, i feel like that's part of the defeatist mindset he has. he decided the "can't beat em, join em" route was better. that assimilating to what white folks have wanted since fucking eugenics was better, even if it's not he reasons that joining is better than just dying out.

"assimilation is better than annihilation."

ofc, our fontaine, doesn't believe any of that bullshit. that the whole operation is fucked. old fontaine says that it's something they both know but i agree and disagree... they both know that's what white america wants. for old fontaine if that's enough to not have another incident like ronnie? good enough but our fontaine?? he's got junebug he's thinking about, other little kids in the here and now, the dreams that yo yo had and still has, everyone in the hood who wants out but just can't seem to get out.

CONTROL GROUPS

"tyrone... ain't that you?"

now i didn't grow up in the hood,or rather the projects, but i was near it. small knit group, everyone knows each other more or less.

the drug dealer, the pimp, the pastor, the kids, the aunties/grandmas/mamas/misses.

in the black community we all know someone like that or have heard of them, and the end of the movie shows this. it's more than just a call back and a chance to play a hit by miss badu.

these regulars? they're the control group the second in command was talking about. they're the ones that don't quite get the same treatment as the experimental group (i.e yo yo, biddy, junebug etc.) they're key players to making the ecosystem (experiment/operation) run smoothly. which is why the convo of fontaine deciding to go with slick and yo yo is integral to the ending and vice versa.

to break the cycle, the system? everyone's gotta rally together. country wide. (in movie context ofc)

[sesamestreep]

number 50 for the rogue one crew!! knowing full well that i have a prompt of yours regarding that very crew wallowing away in my inbox .... humblest apologies

50. the hands of fate (from this list) a quick sequel to this. cross-posted to ao3 here happy more joy day 2024 🩵🤍💙

Baze spent a good twenty years of his life listening to Chirrut tell him that they couldn't leave Jedha, whenever the subject arose. Baze's arguments—that their fellow Guardians were gone, that their religion had been all but wiped out, that their holy city was overrun by the Empire, and that there was nothing left for them there—had never made much of an impression. Chirrut remained adamant that they needed to stay and when Baze asked him why, he only said the reason would become apparent in time. Baze, at least, had a lifetime of experience listening to Chirrut's vague proclamations to prevent him from getting too annoyed with this non-explanation. Being more in-tune with the machinations of the Force than Baze is, and being deeply beloved by him regardless, Chirrut can get away with such things.

He'd almost shouted at him on the ship as they narrowly escaped the destruction on Jedha. Had that been why they needed to remain? So they could watch their home, already stripped of its autonomy and its peace for so long, finally be annihilated before their very eyes? His eyes. Chirrut does not—cannot—watch. He hadn't been sure who, of the two of them, was the luckier in that moment. But they hadn't been alone then. They were surrounded by strangers and, while he wasn't above giving Chirrut a piece of his mind with an audience present, he hesitated to give these people on whom their lives now depended the impression they'd picked up two raving mad men in the desert. After that, everything else had happened too quickly for Baze to have the luxury of deep contemplation and the matter had been pushed aside in favor of following the captain, of helping Jyn, of keeping an eye on their pilot. Arguing with Chirrut would have to wait.

Baze is ashamed to say he doesn't put it together on Scarif, not even when they'd all nearly died. He doesn't put it together when they're back with the Rebellion, keeping vigil in the medbay as, one by one, their crew—Rogue One, Bodhi had called it—healed up and moved on. He doesn't put it together even as he watches with mild amusement as Jyn and Cassian grow closer and closer like two trees twisting around each other in the wild, becoming inseparable as he and Chirrut did long ago. He doesn't put it together when what he once thought of as a natural tremor disappears entirely from Bodhi's voice, replaced with a tone of gentle command, or when the frost melts entirely from Jyn's demeanor when she interacts with her partner's droid and he is so entirely shocked when that same droid delicately—delicately!—inquires about Jyn's bloodwork halfway through her pregnancy and listens sympathetically as she rants about the medical droids the Rebellion employs that he can be forgiven for not noticing it then either.

No, he only puts it together when he's sitting with Kitri in his lap and she wraps her whole fist around his pointer finger and refuses to let go. It's a random, seemingly insignificant moment for his heart to stop and the whole of his life to suddenly come into sharp and coherent focus, but he assumes no one really gets to choose these things or their timing for themselves.

Next to him, Chirrut makes an inquisitive noise, which probably means Baze stopped right in the middle of speaking.

"This is why we couldn't leave Jedha," Baze says, impressed that he's managing any words at all right now amidst what could most reasonably be called a life-changing revelation. "This is what we were waiting for, all that time. Them."

"Of course," Chirrut says, wiggling his fingers within capturing distance for the baby, much to her amusement, not seeming to understand or appreciate that Baze is going through something at the moment. "You mean to tell me you didn't know that?"

"You're telling me you did?"

"Not beforehand. I'm not psychic," Chirrut says, as if such a thing is entirely ludicrous to believe. As if that's not how it sometimes feels to Baze when Chirrut describes the way the Force moves around them all. "But the moment I spoke to Jyn, I knew. That's why we followed her and the captain! What did you think I was up to, if you didn't know until now?"

"I thought it was one of your strange whims, Chirrut."

"It's been years, you daft old man," Chirrut laughs.

"Yes, well..."

Chirrut shakes his head, amused. "You really will follow me anywhere, won't you?"

"Yes," Baze says, only vaguely embarrassed by the admission. "Don't act surprised."

Kit makes a noise of objection from her spot in his lap, the smallest foreshadow of an all-out cry, probably because she hasn’t successfully captured Chirrut’s hand with her own yet in this simple but frustrating game he’s initiated. Across the room, Baze sees Cassian, who has dark circles under his eyes again after many years of looking healthier and better rested (though these ones have appeared under happier circumstances), start to rise from his seat, ever watchful over his daughter’s moods and needs. Before he can get far, Baze sees Jyn put a hand gently on his forearm to arrest him and an entirely silent conversation happens between them in the brief eye contact that follows. He feels like he can read all of the beats of an argument and a counter argument and a surrender in the smallest lifting of eyebrows and lowering of lashes.

“We have help,” Jyn says, softly but firmly, as if they’ve spoken all of their concerns out loud so far.

“I know,” Cassian replies, and settles back in next to her. He briefly closes his eyes and rests his head on the back of his seat. Jyn doesn’t take her hand off his arm until he moves it to rest around her shoulders a moment later. Looking over to Baze, Cassian adds, “If you need me to take her, though—”

In the very same moment that Jyn reaches out to swat him for that, Kit screeches with laughter, having finally captured her other uncle’s hand and covered it in an unfathomable amount of drool in an incredibly short amount of time, and diverting Baze’s attention from her parents at last. Next to him, Chirrut smiles with a dangerous amount of pride.

“The Force moves delightedly around this one,” he says, surrendering to this injustice with good sportsmanship as always. “She would have made an excellent Guardian.”

Before the pain of that pronouncement can hit him, Baze hears Jyn speak up. “Good thing we picked up a couple of them in our travels back in the day,” she says, turning to Cassian. “Smart of us, wasn’t it?”

Cassian nods, not so successfully hiding a smile. “Wouldn’t want her squandering any of her potential,” he says. “You’ll have to keep an eye on this connection to the Force, Chirrut. Let us know if she needs any training…”

Chirrut lifts his head at that, looking like a hunting animal picking up a scent. The idea of it hadn’t occurred to him either, then, which makes Baze feel less stupid for not thinking of it himself. He’d grown so accustomed to think of the Guardians as gone and dead, like Jedha was, or at the very least nearly extinct. Kitri’s far too young to have the survival of an entire religion on her shoulders, but he and Chirrut can tell her the names of their teachers and elders and friends and their stories will survive for another generation. There are other children of the Rebellion, too. Their way of life need not die with them. It’s a heady, baffling new feeling, this untempered hope. They’ve been rationing it out carefully among them for years and to have his fill of it all at once is slightly overwhelming.

Chirrut’s expression would be closed off to anyone who hasn’t known him for fifty years, but Baze sees through its defenses quite easily. He sees the surprise and the awe and the barely guarded delight all there plainly. Chirrut turns his attention down to Kit, still chewing on his hand happily, and runs a palm over the sparse but silken hair on her head lovingly, and something heavy and ancient slots into place in Baze’s soul, the final piece of a long forgotten puzzle settling in where it belongs.

“Good to see there are some things in the galaxy that can still surprise you, old man,” Baze says, not sounding nearly as irreverent as he wishes to.

Kit laughs in the same moment Chirrut does, like she’s in on the joke somehow, like she’s been waiting for it. And who knows? Maybe she is. Maybe she has.

[poetryforventing]

The Language

You ask me how I am and I tell you I’m fine. It’s a front well practiced, one hammered and honed in the flames of a mind that has burned up and on and on and out so many times that it has forged an entire armory of defences.

But you ask me how I am and I tell you I’m fine and you think me plain, dull, awkward, unkind. Alright. But I don’t know that I have a better answer. The world is dying, and I have no hope left. I don’t believe that there is good in all of us. As we speak we’re spilling blood: foreign blood, poor blood, queer blood, girl blood, black blood, native blood in a genocidal fervour that has persisted millenia. And our violence leaves a gouging slash across our collective chest, staining the human consciousness with ever more eternal, immovable shame. I don’t believe everything will work out just fine in the end. I don’t believe we will all be okay.

I’m uncommunicative. It’s true, I’m sorry. But I don’t care about your sex life. I don’t care about your opinions on influencers. I don’t care about your shitty inherited politics. I don’t care what they said on Insta, or Reddit, or X, or Facebook, or TikTok. I don’t care what the hot topic is. Fuck your hot takes. There is blood flowing in the streets, native bones buried beneath the buildings of white settlers, there are generational stains on our souls and yet we work only to sear more grief into the essence of our very beings. Good god, colonialism really taught us nothing. We are killing every last ‘other’ until we are all that’s left, just so that when we kill our world too and go down with it we can claim that it was ours. In the ash of all that is left, perhaps, finally, earth will be as white as we wanted it to be.

You ask me how I am and I tell you I’m fine. You think me cold but I am an inferno inside. I have carved my life into a shell to surround these lashing flames of thought. I don't act how I feel–my whole existence is an energy shield–but, god, I feel hate like you won’t believe. I dream of ripping out throats with my teeth. Capital rules the world and has us kiss its feet, but even that is a lie. The mechanics of power subjugate us in entirety. Capital is just the tool of choice, the selected construct. It is nothing more than a rotten, violent euphemism that cradles us in its maw, waiting for the order to bite.

You wish I would speak more but I have so little to say if we’re not planning the deaths of the bourgeoisie, the policy-makers, the bigots and the land-lords the world over. Every throat I want to taste. Every drop of blood I want to spill in the sort of ritualistic vengeance we absolutely don’t need. Just, please, let me at them. When I'm done I will jump into the sea and it will all be over. Finally.

I can barely even bring myself to get worked up over our changing climate–though I know it’s another active tragedy and, in the moments I stop to think, it makes me sick–when apocalyptic radioactive annihilation is one bad day away, when women’s rights are those of livestock and POC are institutionalised into modern slaves, when we’re living in a world where autonomy and identity are dangerous things. It’s too much grief to contain in one life. It’s too much pain to even attempt to bear. I hope you are starting to see: it’s not any one of these things, it’s everything.

There’s nowhere even to run away. I flew to North America where Pride is sponsored by Target and they build Wendy’s on sacred native land. I returned to England where we practice monarchy and xenophobia as a matter of course, pine for the British empire and laugh openly at the murder of trans girls. Next I go East, where I am ignorant, but things are every bit as twisted, I just won’t put their particularities in my white words, I refuse to appropriate any more into my British Museum of atrocity. In the end I go to bed, where sadness makes sense.

If you’re not angry, you should be. If you’re like me, I’m sorry.

You ask me how I am and I tell you I’m fine. But really I don’t have the words. Even all of this despair and rage is nothing but the bubbling skin of the witch’s brew. The essence of the thing is a wicked magic, not communicable in words, it is violent and immediate and spanning and intrinsic and awful and consuming.

You ask me how I am and I tell you I’m fine. But the truth is I don’t have the language.

[solradguy]

curious if you could elaborate on, like, specific cases(?) or just the general phenomena of gg community ignoring character flaws since i feel like i probably agree n wanna hear someone else's thoughts on it

Almost every single Guilty Gear character has done something that would get them ostracized in other fandoms, I think. But what I see sorta often in GG's community is that sometimes people will go to great lengths to defend one character and then talk about how bad another character is for the things they've done. Zato, for example, did horrible things to Millia and her hating him/wanting him dead is entirely justifiable. But Zato gets condemned for that while Happy Chaos, who brainwashed numerous people to fight and die for him just because he thought it was funny (among other things he did before and after that), rarely gets criticized, presumably because his personality is sillier and he's got a more broadly appealing design.

I get stuff like this happens in pretty much every fandom that's ever existed ever, but it's really funny seeing it in a game called Guilty Gear, where every character has done horrible things that haunts them haha. I went with the Zato and Chaos comparison because at least in some other characters' cases, the character does have some guilt over their actions or has a redemption arc of some kind (Bedman and Ky are good examples of that), but neither Zato or Chaos seem to have much remorse over how they've treated other people yet Zato is frequently hated while Chaos is adored.

Going back to Ky for a sec since he might seem like an odd choice to include there: Ky was a child soldier that wanted to utterly annihilate a sentient species capable of intelligent communication with evidence of a unique culture, and he killed them mercilessly when he could. But he eventually realized what he was doing was awful and went back on everything he was raised to believe to try to make up for what he did. And it haunts him. It wasn't like he woke up one day and just decided to stop killing Gears because he got bored of it; it's a major part of his character that the weight of what he had done was crushing him and he'll never fully forgive himself (or ask for total forgiveness) for it.

Bedman doesn't get as much of a chance before he dies to try to make up for what he had done, but it's still there a little bit right at the end. He's also young too and not having a fully developed prefrontal cortex is a pain in the ass. Sympathy to all the people younger than 25 out there.

Even Sol, the other main box art guy, has a whole list of awful shit he's done. He also wanted to destroy the same creatures that had individual thoughts and desires as Ky did and in Sol's case it might even be worse because he was partially responsible for their creation in the first place, and he was ruthless during his Holy Order arc when he fought against Gears the most. Ignoring Aria's wishes to be allowed to die peacefully from her illness and Sol wanting to sacrifice the entire world to save Jack-O' at the end of Strive are both selfish and awful in their own ways too. Sol is also THEE guilty Gear though. We know that's all weighing on him something fierce.

But this is what makes Guilty Gear so GOOD. It's not black and white. The good guys are deeply flawed and the bad guys can be sympathetic. This series has an insane amount of nuance that all too often gets boiled down to who's redeemable and who isn't and nearly everyone's a little bit of a bastard in their own unique ways.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is that I think if someone is a fan of a character that's taken/tried to take away the autonomy of another character, emotionally manipulated someone via dog murder, or wanted to exterminate an entire species that was mostly fighting back because of how humanity had treated them in the first place, that they should keep that in mind when harshly criticizing other characters' actions.

[la-pheacienne]

What are your thoughts on Eponine? (I haven’t read the novel, I have only watched the Liam Neeson movie (which didn’t have Eponine) and a recording of the musical).

Thank you for the ask I love getting Les Mis asks 💖

So keep in mind that I have read this book 13 years ago so I don't remember a lot of details. I remember the core idea of her character though and she was one of the most badass characters in the book, I loved her.

So Hugo initially had another named planned for her but changed it after Baudelaire dedicated a poem to him (Les petites vieilles from Les Fleurs du mal) that goes like this:

These dislocated wrecks were women once,

Were Eponine or Lais! hunchbacked freaks,

Though broken let us love them! they are souls.

And that is a very good introduction to her character.

Her first trait that needs to be mentioned is hunger. Eponine was a hungry, very hungry young teen, starved, to be more exact, she had a horrendous appearance, some teeth missing, she was extremely dirty, her clothes had huge wholes, she walked barefoot I think. Hunger was so absolute and omnipotent in Eponine, as in a lot of characters from the book, that it seemed to completely erase any hint of personality, or agency, or personhood really. She seemed to not even be a human being at all, she was just a starved girl who resembled a starved animal more than a person. And that's the thing with hunger, it's so catastrophic and definite that it completely annihilates a person. You can't have free will, you can't have spiritual autonomy, you're just that, hungry. Hunger in Les Mis is the ultimate and most substantial form of violence, and Eponine embodies that.

"The grace of her youth was struggling against the hideous old age brought on by debauchery and poverty".

What hunger also does is it gives birth to the lowest, most debased, most inhuman form of monster. That's Eponine's parents, les Thenardiers, and I honestly cannot recall a single literary character that is more appalling than them. They were appalling people before they became so poor, but poverty turned them into actual vultures. So in this "cocktail Molotov" of moral depravity plus extreme poverty and hunger, what chance does Eponine have of becoming something more than a vulture herself? A vulture, or a living, lifeless, soulless corpse, like her sister.

Yet that's not Eponine's arc. Eponine starts as a bully to Cosette while she was a kid, then becomes this hungry street smart kid, then an accomplice in a gang of criminals (burglars, thieves etc) then she goes to prison for a short time. She is in love with Marius, and so she's torn between her jealousy and the desire to make him happy, that is why she helps Marius find Cosette's house and leads him there, then she observes them every night they meet in the garden. She even prevents her gang from entering Cosette's house, because she knows that Marius would be destroyed if anything happened to Cosette. That's the part of the book where she stops them :

"Please yourself, you won't get in. I can't be the daughter of a dog seeing as I am the daughter of a wolf! There are six of you. What's that to me? You're men. Well, I'm a woman. You don't frighten me, that's for sure. I'm telling you, you won't get inside this house because I don't want you to. If you come any nearer I'll bark. I told you, I'm the 'cab'. I couldn't care less about you. Now be on your way, I've had enough of you! Go anywhere you like, but don't come here, I won't let you! You use your knives, I'll use my feet, it's all the same to me. So come on, then!"

And then, after this very selfless act, she actively manages to separate Cosette and Marius. She scares Valjean so he decides to move, and takes Cosette's letter for Marius with no intention of giving it to him, then leads Marius to the barricades so that they can die together there. And then, she dies for him after giving him Cosette's letter :

“She let her head fall back upon Marius' knees and her eyelids closed. He thought that poor soul had gone. Eponine lay motionless; but just when Marius supposed her for ever asleep, she slowly opened her eyes in which the gloomy deepness of death appeared, and said to him with an accent the sweetness on which already seemed to come from another world:

"And then, do you know, Monsieur Marius, I believe I was a little in love with you."

She essayed to smile again and expired.”

So Eponine was a morally ambiguous person but an exceptional character, moving from debauchery, spite and depravity to bravery and love. She doesn't believe in the Cause, but she loves Marius and she dies for him in the barricades, thus her death is as honorable as any other person that gave their lifes in the barriades. I think Eponine's function in the narrative is to show that it is in fact, possible, for an exceptional character to be born out of total material, moral and spiritual decay. It is possible for a human being to preserve the quality of a person, even an exceptional person, and rise above theIr horrendous circomstances. She's a tragic character but the underlying message is ultimately optimistic, in a way.

Of course she was not presented accurately in the musical, she was sexualised in a way that the supposed "conflict" between her and Cosette looks like the conflict of a the popular high school girl vs the high school underdog which is SO not the case in the book.

[archtroop]

"The Palestinian people should take responsibility" for being Human shields.

There, finished the thought for you.

No, you said it. But go on, have your fun. I guess infantilizing a whole population is your thing. Go at it. Looks better on the Victimhood Barometer.

UNRWA, HAMAS, UN, Arab Countries, all responsible for this shit show, but oh, Israel Bad!

Israel is not the Palestinian kiddy garden caretaker. Israel is responsible first for their own. HAMAS attacks, massacres, rapes, burns, and mutilates Israelis. Takes hostages.

Were it you, would you kiss them for a thanq? And, really, no crap about butbutbut 1948. No one cares. Literally no one. This happened now it happened to us.

You are a hypocrite for suggesting what you are saying. If it were your family and friends, tell me again how any "context" on tiktok would deter you from doing absolutely anything in your power to bring back your peope, and to destroy the enemy that sworn to annihilate you and your own.

Just like Nazi Germany had to go through a lot of destruction when the allies rained hell upon it, same happens right now in Gaza.

How did you FreePalestine folk said?

Oh, right.

"It's not like it happened in a vaccum."

Strategically speaking, the 7th of October was the parallel of shooting the Palestinian Cause in the knees. Iran backed HAMAS, sees the destruction of Israel on a higher priority scale than the establishment of any Palestinian Sovereignty. That's facts. HAMAS chose to sacrifice their own and try and deter the normalization with the Saudis. They were counting on West Bank uprising, Hezbollah and Iran joining in.

But the Arab world never cared for Palestinian autonomy. All they wanted is a desperate, suicidal population, desperate enough to be one thing and one thing only: a stock to beat the Jews with. They never did shit for helping Palestinian refugees. Palestinians were and are treated in Arab counter like a plague, are radicalized and torn. It's a geopolitical, cruel tool.

There is a reason that Palestinian refugees carry that title and pass it on to their children. They are THE ONLY group of people who are "granted" this curse of perpetual refugee-ism. It's by design. AWhy? What is so special about them? My grandparents were refugees. They fled ne Nazi invasion to Siberia. When they came back, their house was taken. They had to find other place to give. They did.

For generations wars happened. Nothing new under the sun.

I do have a lot of pitty for the Palestinians. But as the old saying goes, "Aniyey ircha Kodmim".

"The poor peope of your own city come first".

Israel is not responsible for all the ills of the world. Seek your way, and stop blaming others. It helps no one.

[tvckerwash]

hello op I'm here to do my own thoughts on ct!

wash and ct are the "petty grudge holder/salty bitch" power combo, and in combination with the south/maine "fast and loose/big baby brute" they are an unstoppable force of pure chaos. they're the type of group that is banned from hanging out together without a chaperone on shore leave because of the trouble they'll cause.

I personally interpret ct as being wary of florida and wyoming because ONI people can always sniff each other out, and while ct is no stranger to shady stuff, let's just say that florida and wyoming reek of ONI's more theoretical sections that don't officially exist.

I like the idea of ct being seen as the youngest freelancer (but she's not actually the youngest, that would be maine since he's a spartan iii, but because of his stature and voice people don't recognize his true age) and I think she has a really big complex about being treated like a child (because of trauma involving her family).

wash is the mom friend/responsible older sibling in their dynamic instead of the reverse (since he's the one who went to comfort her in s9), and he's also the only person ct will let "coddle" her if you will since they're both the younger siblings in their families, and ct knows that wash isn't doing so out of pity or from a place of superiority—he's doing so because she's his friend and he cares about her.

she can't stand north's older brother act for reasons mentioned above, even though it's a role he's taken up for the whole team something about it just sets her off.

this is a bit of a controversial take but I really like to think of ct as being a hopeless romantic (but don't get me wrong, her romance with the innie leader is still wack). I think seeing her as such adds a layer of depth to her character by showing that even she couldn't avoid getting "corrupted" by project freelancer—ct is someone who cares about goodness and justice, she is idealistic, a bit naive, and so, so kind. she joined pfl because she wanted to be one of the heroes that helped save humanity from annihilation, she wanted to be a role model people would look up to like the spartan's. she wanted to be someone that her family could be proud of.

this explains her point of conflict with wash in s9, as it's not the wash doesn't believe what she's saying, he's just more lenient when it comes to the the morally and legally questionable aspects of war. he is okay with, and will do questionable things if it's for the sake of a greater good (the survival of humanity). wash mirrors ct in a way here, as they thematically represent the two sides of what it means to be a soldier in war, as the line between a soldier being seen as criminal or being seen as a hero is a thin one, and what you see is dependant on your perspective.

I think ct gave her data to tex not because she actually 100% trusted her as a person, but because after learning what she did she thought that it was important for her to give tex—a byproduct, a shadow, of one man's inability to let go of a woman who died years ago—a choice. she wanted to give her autonomy over herself, something that she didn’t have. ct decided to have faith that tex would find the message she left, and that she would choose to do the right thing with it (though unfortunately for ct, tex found it too late, but at least she got her wish—she died as the hero she had always wanted to be).

oughhh i am feeling so normal about Ct <- lying

She got done so dirty in the show... her entire character arc was her setting up Tex and Wash's arcs and dying... and even in the fan space people tend to take her and South and make them background lesbians rather than giving them attention (I have a whole rant about the background lesbians trope in fanspaces, it sucks.)

Anyway I think we need to make Ct weirder. She should get to be unsettling. I've already talked about her and Florida being friends, I think they should be weird together. Florida teaches her how to get blood out of clothes and pin bugs and in return she teaches him how the internet works and how to hack into peoples accounts. She should hang out in the vents. She knows all the gossip and has blackmail on just about everyone on the moi. Too many people make Ct Wash's responsible best friend/sister figure and I'm like no! Shes just very very good at pretending she's not a part of whatever silly schemes they get into!

I think her and York and Wash are pranksters and troublemakers. York is the only one who gets in trouble though because the second an alarm trips or a door handle starts turning Ct and Wash just split. Both of them are good at climbing and hiding so they can 'disappear' within seconds. York has awful perception skills and will not notice they're gone until hes alone in a room he shouldn't have access to with Carolina.

Ct much like Florida is also an intel specialist to me. I think she can pick locks better than York. I think all of alpha team has skillsets that aren't utilised bc pfl sucks and makes them focus on one skillset each.

And don't even get me started on her boyfriend guy. Her and Allison are so fucking detective movie dead wife movie montage its ridiculous ToT

[randomwriteronline]

One by one, the little thing had killed them.

Little doll hands wrapped around their necks, little wooden teeth sunken into their flesh. It had eaten their hearts out, choked them from the inside, replaced the oxygen in their lungs, the marrow in their bones.

One by one they had all followed along and left their lives in those sylvan palms to be torn up and fed to the forest.

How had it managed that?

How had it stolen away so many heroes?

Where much more fiersome and cruel creatures had failed time and time again, the little thing kept succeeding.

It dragged them in the depths of the inescapable woods whether alive, dead or struggling in between. It consumed them: it latched onto them and drained them, sapped the will out of their forms slowly or all at once, until they were either corpses or bewitched ghosts.

They disappeared within - their bones, their eyes, their voices. Only echoes and empty graves, their contents moved beneath hungry roots to annihilate them.

Dragged away by little hands. Stolen from their coffins.

And they were happy.

All heroes of all eras walked towards the wretched doll, smiling, arms outstretched to hug it.

They welcomed it in their hold like an old, darling friend.

They melted in its thin embrace.

How?

Why?

Some fools believed it was a protector. A messenger of the Goddess of Courage. The heroes' personal chaperone to the Heavens.

It was poison in the shape of a child.

It was the melliflous copper whisper of rot and mold, of addiction, the sweet song of self destruction, of complete loss of autonomy, and it was to their ears as sweet as the horrid stench of the biting flower is to the fly about to be mauled.

(What a strange thing.)

(To fight a whole life tooth and nail as to never fall in the clutches of death, and lunge in its arms once they overlap with those of simple, unconditional love.)

(Perhaps this too was a curse.)

(But they were children again, without worries or fears in an endless green shaded garden, and their friend adored each one of them with their whole amber heart.)

(So death seemed so loving.)

(Why run away once it comes?)

A woodland siren, indeed.

[1eos]

wait!!! I wanna join your pseudo book club!

well you’re in! there’s no deadline for reading any books or anything its mostly just reccing each other things nd i post exercepts nd kinda live blog whatever im reading but pls feel free to send an ask abt older books i don’t mind 😁

what i’m currently reading:

the silent patient is a psychological thriller….been interesting so far. more than a muse is a feminist look through overlooked women in art history. really good! astrology, karma, and transformation is an astro book obvs. idk if ppl not familiar with astrology would like it but a very inch resting take on old topics. nd books of blood are horror anthologies. definitely proceed w caution if you have any particular triggers cuz it do get weird in here!

as for the kendra book club classics we have:

the whole picture: another good art history book this one focusing on the inherent colonialism in fine art

ring shout: omg love this book so much. kinda an alternate history/fantasy/black mythos book. basically its a what if the kkk were actual literal monsters that were trying to take over the world nd the protagonist is a hunter. sosososososo good i cannot heap enough praise on this book. its giving everything i needed

the vegetarian: another book i am OBSESSED with. short premise: the main character stops eating meat nd the madness that ensues from this one act of autonomy is just….so thought provoking

annihilation: first part of a triology but the first book is the best. its kinda hard to explain without babbling abt all the theories i dug up but basically thru a series of strange events a portion of a wetland area becomes cut off from the outside world to become this alien but familiar kind of wilderness nd the story follows the biologist of an all woman team that goes in to investigate. honestly made me interested in scifi again. v v good

rosemarys baby: a classic! everyone probably knows the gist of the plot and i read it to see if it deserves to be a classic nd it DOES. even knowing what’s going to happen on some level doesnt hinder the suspense nd its really a look into cult manipulation nd indoctrination. i still dont know how i feel abt rosemary at the end but still a great book

[theoliviaset]

Trust Issues

Foxy post. This is gonna be full of cussin'. CW for abuse, fakeclaiming, and religion. Consider giving it a read if you're feeling resilient enough rn, and want to know how the syscourse can harm a traumatized system.

[Also holy shit you sure love to roleplay your alters wtf. I know what co fronting is but you chose to not edit out the random unrelated thoughts and that's creepy. Unless you did that as a logical fallacy. Then its creepy and manipulative.]

Okay, so this has fucking been bugging me for a while now. Since longer than Faye's post about ableism went up. Since I figured out who I am really. It's been bugging me just how much a traumatized set of girls have been abused by this very fucking tactic.

So I don't have, let's say, conventional beliefs about my existence. It's certainly not in contradiction to any physical or psychological theories out there. It's just a spiritual belief. Akin to other beliefs about the nature of the soul. But it's... out there by conventional standards.

Of course, this belief doesn't change much how I interact with the world. I don't act like I have magic powers or like I can do extraordinary things. I don't go around harming people because I think I know what awaits me after we kick the bucket. I don't bring our vessel any closer to annihilation because I would rather be home than here. And all of that is true of many religious people. We can coexist with those with different beliefs without much in the way of problems so long as we continue to respect people and call out or fight injustice.

But I'm the only one in this head that has this belief. I'm not the only one with different spiritual or religious beliefs mind you, just the only one who is this unconventional.

Right now, you might be wondering what it is that I believe and why the fuck I'm talking about it so vaguely. Well you're not going to find out right now, because that's part of this whole fucking problem. You see, if I were to tell you what I think about how I got here, a sysmed would come along and fake claim us all to hell. In spite of the fact that I don't even fucking disagree that I'm formed by trauma.

Here's the fucking thing though. Although I may be perfectly comfortable telling intolerant assholes to fuck themselves six ways to Sunday with a cactus, I am not the only one in here. I don't get to make that executive decision.

Wanna know why?

Fucking trauma. The thing that sysmeds are trying to protect systems with from being harmed. (Oh and also ableism, cause this trauma comes from ableist assholes who have never respected our autistic brain).

If you didn't know, a thing that happens to "different" people often enough is that they get abused, ridiculed, and made to feel lesser because of those differences. All of that ill treatment can lead to trauma. Trauma that ingrained a fear response into some members of this system. That fear response violently takes away the autonomy and executive control of anyone who would step out of line and expose the system to further ill treatment.

There's a true saying we heard the other day: "Hurt people hurt people." This system is filled with hurt people. We work together and get along most days. But the disordered part of our disorder comes from the fact that trauma has built in us some survival responses. The primary of these responses has been to avoid confrontation at all costs. Better to say nothing than to say something that could be interpreted in any way as to lead to further abuse.

I've had to deal with that survival response coming from Moxie and Faye so many times. So many paragraphs of text deleted by them forcing their way into the fingers and holding down that backspace key, "People wouldn't understand what you wanted to say anyway." So many times spent frozen staring at the screen knowing what I want to say, "But if you said that, we'd be labeled 'crazy' for sure." So many times having a lump in this body's throat, "If you say that they won't be our friends anymore." And over and over and over again, "Really, what would the neighbors think."

It's abuse. Plain and simple. If a child were trying to be themself, and a parent constantly put them down and stopped them, we would rightly look at that as an unhealthy environment for a growing mind. If an adult were stopped from expressing their own opinions to save their partner's image, we would call that relationship abusive. And so too is it abusive to be trapped in the same head as someone who can take away your ability to talk to the rest of the, all because of what people "might think". Hell, the first few months after I got here I wasn't even allowed to think about what I believe without being bombarded with challenges to my sincerely held spiritual belief; shit that the fucking aspiring minister doesn't get slapped with. Hurt people hurt people, and these bitches are fucking hurt.

You wanna know what happened to us when we were working on that essay? Faye was rehearsing it (as you autisticly do) and I interrupted faer to bring up some of the arguments that we've heard from sysmeds. Fae invited me to help faer out. That was fucking nice. I don't get chances to do a whole lot here. We chatted all day about how that essay was going to go with me acting as the sysmed arguing with faer. I laughed when we did the bit at the beginning where she shushed me for talking about our creative process. She left that in because fae knew how much I enjoyed her reaction. She hoped someone else would get a chuckle too.

But of course, there was a nagging feeling coming from Mox that we shouldn't leave it in; that we shouldn't even bother letting me roleplay the sysmed. If we posted that stuff then people would fakeclaim us, or disbelieve us, or the joke would fall completely flat. But she managed to keep that feeling from overwriting any of our autonomy. She managed to put her trauma response aside to let us express ourselves and have fun.

And the fucking sysmed in the screenshot just told her that she was fucking wrong for that. Expressing ourselves freely is bad. Trying to share a peak into how we work together is unacceptable. Stepping even slightly out of line is worthy of shame and ridicule. That's what we were told in 4 sentences.

Thankfully Mox and Faye are not listening to that bullshit. We're all working as hard as we can to avoid taking away each others autonomy. But being slapped with this kind of bullshit is gonna make this so much harder. Next time I try to post something, or talk to someone, someone won't be able to help but think about that accusation of "roleplaying" our headmates.

It's absolute fucking garbage that this kinda shit happens. Sysmeds aren't protecting anyone. They're causing harm. They're creating an environment where ostensibly traumatized people need to present a very narrow set of behaviors and beliefs or else they're shunned or harassed; traumatized people who've dealt with the same sort of abuse and developed the same sort of freeze/fawn combo. Anyone who doesn't fit within that precise little window is a faker (and idk about anyone else, but one manifestation of depersonalization we get hit with is "I am not real." Fakeclaiming absolutely does not fucking help with people who suffer with depersonalization).

We'll probably be called fucking fake because of this post too. I can feel Moxie's urge to hit that backspace button. I know she's not going to, because we are working on healing. But when we get fakeclaimed for this, it will be another weight around our neck making that path towards health that much harder.

And sysmeds are abso-fucking-lutely going to be to blame. So much for helping traumatized systems. Thanks for creating an environment where we cannot trust that we won't be harassed to no end. Thanks for making our trauma response a necessary survival strategy.

Anyways, fuck you. We'll never know the extent of human experience if we abuse the people trying to share their differences.

-Foxy {O}

[issela-santina]

gothic sci-fi in movies?

Oliver, Steven, Gary, Andy, and Peter all walk in a line together anxious about the other people passing them by on the way to the next pub.

The World's End (2013) was basically my first thought because everything fits: from the way Gary is characterized to how the old hometown doesn't feel the same to how the Network traps you by giving you what you want (think the part where the blanks got Pete after he finally exacted vengeance on his bully) and your very humanity hinges on your ability to say no, fuck shit up to assert yourself, and run like hell

Under red lights, three surviving crewmates of the Elysium are face to face with each other as the camera pans right to left behind one of them (Bower). Nadia (rightmost) holds her weapons up in case of an attack.

Pandorum (2009) is named after a madness that reduced human beings into a cult of cannibals in deep space; the gothic part is having to fight said madness after you literally just woke up from hibernation, and then on a meta level when you factor in the earthly apocalypse which is pretty much our own doing as humans too — so is pandorum an echo of the cycles of harm that broke us as a species before we could break them?

Lena picks herself back up, head bleeding from a struggle with a faceless metallic humanoid who is mirroring her movements behind her.

Annihilation (2018), as if the description by Empire magazine as tackling “depression, grief, and the human propensity for self-destruction” is not enough — the Shimmer has no goal in life but to just exist as it grows, and thus make all of us question at a meta level if life is worth living that way: you're a continually evolving mashup of DNA in there just as outside you're continually evolving as you adjust to things like grief and boredom and betrayal in addition to the people that you mimic to survive, and then suddenly you watch strangers mirror you

Ophir and Keziah (left and right) hand bladed weapons over to Adam (middle).

we all know Frankenstein is the mother of gothic sci-fi for all its electrifying glory; I, Frankenstein (2014) got to contemplate for a moment the question of what makes a soul and then answered it by saying bodily autonomy — the whole gargoyle shtick was a bonus to watching Adam learn to assert his own bodily autonomy in the face of wealthy demons who want to deny him that

[sullustangin]

Not a disaster spy.

Note:  I speak in lawful/neutral/chaotic alignments as seen in D&D.  I’m not getting into good, evil, or neutral, nor “Dark Side” or “Light Side” activities. 

There were more than a few reasons why I commissioned a piece of art that depicted some pretty gnarly scars on Theron Shan (and on my smug, Eva, but you don’t care as much about her, let’s be real). It’s part of a story I’m telling.  It’s part of my headcanon.  Also, it’s my own sort of protest against the habit of writing Theron off as a hot but inept spy.  He’s an impulsive fool despite being intelligent, which is why he ends up in bizarre situations. He always gets hurt because of this (but he’s always magically healed up in time for any smut). 

To be clear: Theron totally has issues due to his early life and an inability to play well with others; you can label him with attachment issues, intimacy issues, whatever keeps him a bit of a lonely character (which he admits).  Personal life -- disaster.  That’s canon, explicit and implicit.

What I object to are his skills and abilities being discounted because of that.  His professional life is far from being a disaster.  Director SIS Marcus Trant brands him as one of the best field agents, and long term, he ends up being operations manager for a covert base for an upstart independent government.

Reasons:

In the book Annihilation, Theron runs around in his boots and briefs trying to destroy the Ascendant Spear.   Hot, funny, and strangely effective.

But why?

Because Jace Malcom and Marcus Trant were ok with sacrificing a few planets of people “for the greater good.”  They let Ruan be attacked.  They planned on letting Duro be attacked, because they wanted the Pub fleet to focus on the Ascendant Spear, the Empire superweapon.  They watched a planet get wrecked and planned on doing it again.  It’s war.  It’s a lawful action, for the greater good.  It complies with society’s expectations -- the Republic leadership’s expectations -- in a time of war. Lawful neutral, probably.  Maybe lawful good if you squint and do the math about the Spear’s potential fatality rate, galaxy wide.

But Theron isn’t a lawful character -- he doesn’t just do stuff because society says it’s ok.  That’s why he goes off and does impulsive stuff because sometimes, society is wrong.  Theron is a neutral, leaning chaotic character -- he mostly follows the law, but also relies on his own intuition and gut feeling about what is right. Neutral characters balance what society says is right and what a person internally thinks is right.   Chaotic characters -- like my oc smuggler -- don’t rely on society’s views at all; it’s all about her gut and moral compass.  Theron at least considers lawfulness and order in his response, which is why he is (mostly) not a chaotic character.  He has his moments, though - no character is pure.  In contrast, Lana is a Lawful character in the context of the Sith Empire.  She does things that her society approves of.  She does like to think of herself as ‘her own woman’, but her behavior patterns are heavily informed by the Sith upbringing and training - she is Lawful but leaning Neutral on occasion due to her own sense of pragmatism.  She does not go by her gut alone. 

(Please remember I’m not addressing good/evil, Light/Dark side in this post.)

That’s why Theron ends up dehydrated with cramped leg and half naked.  He didn’t want people to die "for the greater good” when he personally could stop it.  So he and Gnost Dural fool Darth Karrid into participating at Duro, which means the Republic Fleet has to defend the planet, since its target is the Ascendant Spear.  The only way that happens is that Gnost-Dural is tortured, and Theron has to manually slice into the nearly uninhabitable bowels of the ship.  Hence the whole strip tease by the end of the incident.  

Consequences: 

In the example above, it’s mostly situational embarrassment for Theron, and the Jedi gets tortured. 

In an earlier part of the book, Theron is beaten up to keep his cover and acquire important information (and loses a few teeth in the process) and leaps off a building and probably fractures a few things -- he dislocated a shoulder too.  Still didn’t blow cover, and he is able get off Ziost with Gnost Dural. 

Every SWTOR player knows about Rishi -- it’s easy to argue that Theron doesn’t give up Lana because that could burn his Republic ally.  But if  you’re playing Imp side, what’s stopping him?  Flirting is nothing to this point.  Why not burn all the Imps down?  He could save his own skin, infiltrate the Revanites that way and save the Republic Fleet -- to hell with Darth Marr.

Because it’s not just “ooo rah Republic” informing his choices -it’s not Republic society saying it’s ok and lawful that makes him sit there.  It’s his own moral compass that says it’s wrong to burn Jakarro and the operative, even if Lana did give him up.  So he holds out under torture, even as Revan tries to make his descendant his ally. 

Theron had been in SIS for about 12-13 years by the time we get to Rishi.  We know he’s fallen from high heights and survived worse falls than leaping between buildings on Nar Shaddaa -- survived, not gotten out unscathed. He was a swoop racer for awhile -- that’s a risky hobby.  As an agent, It’s reasonable to assume he’s been shot at with blasters and possibly slugthrowers (if he came across a Mando), stabbed with traditional blades or vibro-blades, got burned if he was in an industrial area or a hot engine room or a chemical lab -- the list goes on.  After Yavin, we know that the one agent possibly more chaotic than he is, Jonas Balkar, ends up giving him a few broken ribs in the name of busting up an implants ring. 

So Theron does have very real consequences for his decisions, in all likelihood.  That’s what I wanted to reflect in the recent commission; although it happens shortly before the torture session on Rishi, it shows the viewer that this is a path he’s been on before, and not by accident. 

Cutting here because boy, did I have a lot to say about what happens AFTER SoR in terms of alignment/characterization.

The KotFE and Beyond: Consistency Issues

Theron registers his approval and disapproval on certain decisions in later xpacs, and he often takes the more benevolent “light side” end of things -- whether that’s based upon his societal expectations or personal moral compass is not as clear.  But he still does disagree with the Commander (one of the more obvious examples being  storming out of the room if there are too many Pub casualties on Corellia when the player is Imp side).  While it remains a touchy topic, the Traitor Arc does reflect his neutral-chaotic tendencies. He goes with his internal moral compass.

Electrocuting the Commander on Iokath was part of Theron gaining the Order of Zildrog’s trust. Theron’s smart enough and probably familiar enough with the Commander’s bio data to know how to make it happen and look bad enough without serious ill-effects. This is part of what he does as a spy, and there’s likely a guide on double agent sabotage somewhere in SIS -- how to look like you’re doing bad stuff without actually doing as bad stuff as requested.  This is also part of what he personally believes to be a better path -- certainly not by Alliance “what to do when bad things happen” book, which was to tell his Commander.   

Does Theron fail at Nathema?  Yes; there is a major loss of war materiel (the Gravestone and the Eternal Fleet).  But what would he have considered more important?  The loss of the fleet or the loss of the Commander and others if the Fleet was unleashed?  The loss of life or the loss of stuff? That’s where Theron’s neutral-chaotic alignment comes in. 

It also does matter how the player views the entire situation -- Theron’s boss also has a say in ‘success,’ which is why Trant matters in judging Theron’s previous actions. At the end of KotET, some people had been miserable that they HAD to either be a ruler or a peacekeeper instead of just getting on their ship and riding off into the sunset for more class-specific adventures. By the end of Nathema, some people were mad about losing the weapons and the power.  Some people were relieved that they weren’t so OP anymore; the writers had written story/character development into a corner, and ending the whole Throne/Fleet thing had to happen. (It’s still not fully out of a corner, in my personal opinion.)  

Theron doesn’t get out of the Traitor Arc completely clean, no matter how many stans we write about it -- the writing is what it is.  He assuredly gains a new scar.  But it is player choice as to the severity of the failure -- and the consequences: Theron can end up married, still in love with the Commander, dumped by the Commander but in the Alliance, exiled, or dead. Those were the consequences for what he believed was the right thing to do -- this was probably his biggest leap into the chaotic alignment in terms of decision making, and this was the most dramatic spectrum of consequences.

As a side bar, the latter xpacs suffer from writing issues; there’s a lack of nuance compared to the vanilla stories and even Hutts and SOR.  Although the writers did promise that characters would leave if there were enough negative actions, only Koth actually left because of something we did; Lana never leaves, and Theron leaves regardless of prior actions -- because he’s doing the  double agent thing. (I thought the opening speech on Umbara was ill-fit for most classes, frankly -- the writing got better as we got closer to Nathema, but there are plotholes that make me fume.)  Lana and Theron never leave because the player makes too many LS or DS decisions. I honestly wish that was a consequence, because not having a consequence for decisions hallows out both characters and makes them lackeys rather than the stronger, distinct characters they were prior to Popsicle Time. Lana never leaves no matter what. Theron ultimately remains gone by player decision, not by his own.  Koth was at least granted that autonomy, for which I respect the writing for Koth. 

Theron Shan is a good spy that accepts consequences.

Theron is good at his job -- the best at his job, around the time of SoR. Because of how Theron approaches the world, he takes risks so others don’t -- so others don’t get tortured, so other planets don’t get blown up.  It doesn’t mean that he’s some inept idiot that fumbles his way toward mission success. He  knowingly suffers for his choices that are a combination of by-the-book training and his instincts. He doesn’t complain about it, even when the player points it out on Rishi.  It is the job.  Spies do really, really strange stuff to keep their covers. He also doesn’t complain as he’s limping around after Nathema, nor does he object if he’s exiled or dumped.  He knows what he did.  He can live with it (if the player lets him). 

Spies that remain alive and get back to their home nations without giving anything important up to the enemy are successful spies.  We see this in pre-SWTOR media.  Rishi is a success for Theron -- although he is exposed, he remains alive and uncooperative.  The temporary Alliance between Marr and Satele gain massive amounts of intel, including Revan’s base on Yavin.  Later, Theron is able to keep the Odessen base functional and secret.  We even get to do some infiltration work on Zakuul -- the Alliance’s spies don’t give anything up while surviving and making it home with gains.  He succeeds overall at Odessen.  He fails at Nathema, though that failure is mostly interpreted by the player in terms of severity. 

Few spies are perfect and survive to become old men.  Even if Theron is killed at the end of Nathema, he did make it further than many; if we consider that Theron was about 37 or 38 at Nathema and he started SIS at 16, that’s upwards of 20 years in the field.  That’s a long lifespan for an active field agent, even in real world estimates. 

For those of us who let Theron live, then he still has potential for more spy escapades, though probably with some serious oversight.  We can leave that to headcanons, since Lana and Theron have taken a step back in prominence since Onslaught.  Theron will never be orderly like Lana; if you favor lawful characters, you will rarely see eye to eye with Theron.  He is not a by the book spy, and even Trant complains about that.  At the same time, the instinct, the skills, and personal conscience is there, which is why Theron is successful all the way up to Nathema -- and depending on the player, arguably still is. 

Personal life -- sure, a disaster. No doubt. But as a spy?  I don’t think disaster is an accurate assessment.

[crystalelemental]

And now, ranking the Fates characters by how good they are as parents.  I’ll just be ranking the canon parent, since generic supports annihilated cohesive characterization by making all the parent dialogues identical.

Also, I do need to address this.  Every parent in Fates is garbage.  They throw their kids into an interdimensional time portal and essentially don’t raise them at all.  So comparing them like this is basically comparing turds by how rank they are.  It doesn’t matter that some aren’t as awful as others, you’re still not gonna find one that smells good, you know?

Corrin - Honestly, she’s got a strong Camilla-esque vibe to her protectiveness toward Kana.  I like it.  Also Kana knows when Corrin is coming to visit, and seems to imply that this is a routine thing, making Corrin one of the few known parents who actually makes a point to visit her kit.  A-rank.

Azura - Once again, your decision to be cryptic for no reason causes nothing but problems for everyone involved, and your son, who you didn’t raise on your own, had his entire village annihilated by foes that went after him to get to you, but you never warned him or them about anything?  D-rank.

Jakob - While hyper-critical, he’s not entirely off the mark, in terms of what Dwyer needs to be doing.  He’s not a bad kid though, so it does come across as more harsh than he really needs to be to make a point, since Dwyer is ultimately self-sufficient and capable.  C-rank.

Silas - Actually a pretty good dad.  He’s one of the few that just actively admires his child coming out of their deeprealm to help others, is fully supportive of them staying with the group, and is supportive of Sophie in general. It is Silas, so he’s a little generic with his praises, but it’s still a better parenting approach than most of them. A-rank.

Kaze - And here to completely outdo Silas is Kaze.  Again, Midori seems to know when he’s coming, meaning like Corrin, his appearance is a routine thing in her life.  Not perfectly routine though, which creates a bit of conflict between the two, in which Kaze is able to express that he always did his best to be there for her, but kept her here to be safe.  Willing to admit mistakes, accepting of her decisions, clear care for his child despite the poor general decision of leaving your children unattended in deeprealms, but is willing to actually be a parent and reprimand them for their poor decisions, while still being compassionate in his approach.  S-rank.  Kaze’s a good dad.

Ryoma - Honestly, I love that Shiro actually calls him out about not raising him at all.  Also the unnecessary secrecy about who he is and not letting Shiro know his status, and then being irritated when Shiro grows up without any direction in life.  Honestly I’m coming around on Shiro, who has so far been right on the money about how shit a father Ryoma is.  D-rank.

Takumi - Honestly Takumi’s pretty solid?  The support has him being a bit of a dick because he’s jealous of his own kid’s ability, but in the paralogue proper he’s honestly a pretty solid dad?  Like he shows up unannounced so we know he’s taking time to actually meet with his kid, and is fairly protective of him.  He does give in to letting Kiragi come along for dumber reasons, but on the whole he’s solid.  A-rank.

Saizo - He’s kind of a dick?  This is very much how Saizo is, but his entire thing is like...the honor of the family name to the point he doesn’t seem to have any connection to his kid, just his bloodline.  He does eventually let his kid be himself, but only in that, when he demonstrates “his own brand of honor,” Saizo gives him that freedom, but by basically disowning him as next in the Saizo line.  Which is I guess what the kid wanted, but still, it’s kind that “Grant your freedom, but you’re not my son” type feel.  D-rank.

Kaden - He’s alright?  He doesn’t do much, but he at least makes plenty of time to go visit his daughter just for the sake of visiting.  Still, he’s so bad at raising his child that she doesn’t know what dead means, and thinks poachers are there to play.  So present, but perhaps too permissive and uninvolved in actually raising her.  C-rank.

Hinata - Apparently just fucking forgot to make time for his kid.  He’s loving in his own way, but clearly not putting his child as a top priority in a lot of cases.  Not the worst, but certainly not good.  C-rank.

Azama - F-rank.  I don’t really need to explain this, do I?  Fuck Azama.  Even Saizo realizes how much of a callous fuckhead he is toward his own kid.  SAIZO!  Also you somehow gave your daughter a separate world from yours, in the attempt to give her a life of peace, which she achieves and is happier without you, so you storm in only when she’s in active danger, then insist on dragging her out of this peaceful realm into the world of constant war...just because?  Fuck Azama.  F-rank forever.

Subaki - He’s a decent dad.  It does kind of imply that he’s been away for a while, so questionable how much time he’s actually spending with her.  And while he’s generally doting and kind toward his daughter, there is that weird ending bit where he gets nervous about her outperforming him.  I’ll give it a B-rank overall.

Hayato - Honestly, he’s wishy-washy.  Either you fully support your daughter’s mad science or you don’t.  You can’t half-ass this, acknowledging she loves the dark arts and permitting her to mess around with it, and then step in and insist it’s off limits when it turns out the dark arts also have some potentially evil consequences.  Stepping in when he does to take things away feels more like backpedaling on a decision he already made to let her do as she pleases, which was probably too permissive as it stands.  C-rank, which is honestly pretty good for a teen parent compared to some of these other shitheads.

Xander - Finally on the Nohrians.  Xander actually like...talks to his kid.  Siegbert knows what his role is, and even if Xander can’t visit as often as he’d like in person, he keeps in contact through missives.  Now, there is the issue of his stance being “You have to learn to shoulder some burdens alone,” and thinking his son refusing to contact him about these fucking swamp demons was commendable.  So he’s definitely not perfect on this front.  But he does acknowledge that this is the burden of a leader having to make such choices, is accepting and understanding of his son’s autonomy and decisions while still being firm about keeping him safe from war and sending him back should he prove himself unready.  A-rank overall, I think.

Leo - Okay listen.  While I do recognize that Leo comes around and starts trying to be a better father, and I recognize the importance of growth and improvement. But the fact that Leo has spent most of his son’s life avoiding him because he disapproves of his interest in feminine fashion is just inexcusable.  The time to step up as a parent and learn this shit was a long-ass time ago, man.  You’ve basically been out of your child’s life this entire time, shown up only to angrily disapprove of how he lives his life, and now want to walk back in and expect that trying to change means he should give you that chance?  Why?  There’s no reason for Forrest to be the one who has to acknowledge you’re changing and growing as a person.  If nothing else, at least Forrest completely tells him off, and when Leo makes his attempt at reconciliation, his first thought is that he’s excited to get to know Elise.  Get fucked, Leo.  At least you go to save your kid, and don’t seem to express that you’re willing to let him die.  But you did stall on going, so like...fuck you.  F-tier.

Benny - And now for the exact opposite.  Benny’s an absolute sweetheart, and it’s no surprise he’s the same with his son.  He seems to care greatly for his son, is proud of his actions, and while protective, is willing to support his son’s decision to become stronger and learn to defend others with courage, while also teaching him that he’s not as fearless as he seems.  Honestly, maybe it’s just the feeling coming off of Leo, but S-rank.  We don’t really know how often he visits Ignatius, but I’d like to believe it’s often.

Keaton - Nothing too exciting, nothing too bad.  An easy, uninteresting B-rank.

Arthur - Apparently he’s never visited.  And openly stated that because he thought his son was safe here, his job was done.  This is the most intense version of just literally not being there for your child at all.  Still, at least he gives a shit, so D-rank, but a low D.

Odin - I think he’s solid.  Honestly there’s nothing outstanding here, but I really like Odin as a person, so A-rank.

Laslow - Okay, so in the intro to her chapter, Laslow mentions that Soleil has a band for town watch, and that she should be in her Deeprealm but goes where she pleases.  Which implies he knows she’s in his world already.  So he’s already letting her do as she pleases.  He’s openly aware she’s bi (let’s be real, here) and is fully supportive (LEO).  He taught her some great mechanisms for coping with difficulties in her life, and helps her realize it’s okay to not be positive when it feels forced.  And when confronted with the reality that Soleil is way better than him at flirting with the ladies, instead of being an insecure prick about it, he’s like “Hell yeah, that’s my girl!”  S-rank, easy.

Niles - I hate Niles, but as far as parenting goes, he’s not the worst.  It’s not clear if he’s been to visit her much (sounds like a no), but he at least has clear care for her.  He does try to emphasize to her what kind of life he’s had and that he doesn’t want her to have to live like that too, so I do appreciate that angle for him.  B-rank.

And that’s everyone.  There are some decent parents in all this.   The only real failures are Leo and Azama.  I think Azama’s a bit worse based on not showing any inclination to change or any particular care about his child, while Leo at least learns something and grows from it.  Though Leo’s issues are such a problem for me.  I think Laslow’s the best, though Kaze and Benny were also really great.

Shame about the Baby Realm thing, though.  That whole idea was just so stupid...

[malcolmwhitly-bright]

Prodigal Son Breakdown

I saw this thing about Dani and her more than questionable actions over the course of the season and so I thought I would break down all the characters for fun. Remember kids, confirmation bias is a thing, hindsight bias is a bitch, and have fun for God's sake. STOP LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO NOT LIKE 

Dani

Makes fun of her ex: comments on the fact that he was inadequate and a high functioning psychopath. From what I can tell and from what I can assume, her comments are really just rude. To be fair, petty comments like these usually spawn from hurt so Khalil probably hurt her but still she’s in a professional setting

Punches Bright in the shower. I see Dani getting a lot of shit for this and to be fair, the rational thing would be to turn to shower on and wake him. As viewers, we face a hindsight bias of sorts. To us, the answer is clear. She shouldn't have hit him but it’s not that simple. Put yourself in her shoes. Malcolm is violent, it looks like he’s hurting himself and he’s frantic. Getting in that shower, she’s putting herself at risk and her flight or fight is kicked into high gear. So she hits him. It’s not like she liked it or did it for no reason. It was a gut reaction

Did drugs undercover. If you wanna be mad about something Dani’s done, this is probably the best one. There’s no excuse, not a good one

Threatened to Kick Bright in the balls. She’s allowed to be uncomfortable. He invaded her space. It does sound abusive and over the top but she has a right to her autonomy just as much as he does. It was harmless dancing but he’s severally invaded her personal space. Even if he is high on drugs that he accidentally inhaled, that doesn't excuse it. You wouldn’t excuse it if the roles were reversed

Dad in coma comments/argument. It was wildly inappropriate. It was rude and insensitive. But... Martin is a serial killer. One that tried to kill his own son (I think the team knows about this, right? Because they probably overheard the interview with that guy from the 11 episode). Because, really, I know I can’t wrap my mind around Malcolm being so torn up about Martin. It was still pretty messed up

JT

Constantly makes fun of, mostly, Malcolm but also everyone else. He makes snide remarks about Edrisa and her odd behavior. Not to mention his remark in the second episode “Don’t all murders feel personal to you”. He’s full of off-handed comments but... He’s got a military background and he’s also very loyal. He’s got no reason to trust Bright and to be fair, Malcolm sucks when it comes to the following of protocol. I would say JT’s comments are mostly a good example of just his coping mechanisms. 

Edrisa (I already know this is the one that’s gonna bring the most shit so either know now you’re going to need to acknowledge your bias or just don’t read it)

Comments on Bright’s body. I know someone is going to try and come at me but it’s not appropriate. If you want to side with the argument “it’s her personality” then remember to apply that same logic to all of the others. If the genders were swapped, y’all would be flipping your shit. She called him slender. She’s constantly flirting. It’s wildly inappropriate. On the flip, I say dumb shit around my crush too so like I can understand some of the flustered rambling

Pulling his medical records. BRUH. What? There is nothing, nothing you can say that makes this okay. She’s worried? Okay, so is everyone else. I can’t fathom an excuse for this one. It’s creepy and a huge invasion of privacy. They could come for her privileges and license for this

Bright

Told the sole survivor of the annihilated family in the 2nd ep that his family was dead. He jumps the chain of command several times and tells people that their loved ones have been murdered for the profile so he can see the looks they give. Which is really just messed up and insensitive

Never listens to Gil when he’s told to stay back. The problem I have with this one: he’s putting the whole team at risk by following them when he’s specifically told not to. He’s acting like a liability instead of an asset and that’s dangerous.

He starts seeing his father. Self-explanatory. He’s an adult with a degree in psychology he knows damn well that he regresses in his mental state when he’s around Martin. It makes him self destructive and it’s kind of childish. On the flip, Martin is still his father and it’s hard to acknowledge and distance yourself from parents even if you know they’re bad for you

The Chloroform thing. Self-explanatory. 

In conclusion,

Dani’s trust issues reflect harmfully on the relationships in her life

JT uses crude humor to cope and looks like an ass because of it

Edrisa’s emotions conflict with her work and cause her to make some iffy choices

Malcolm’s inability to cope healthily means he puts himself in danger and, inadvertently, his friends too

Do I still love all of these characters? Yes. Dani is a complex character that the show is steadily allowing to grow and for the better. JT is funny. In the beginning, it was a little rocky but for fuck sake, how safe would you feel around the son of one of the most prolific serial killers since Jack the Ripper? Edrisa is funny and sweet. She’s so smart and even if she does have a crush on Malcolm she isn’t afraid to tell him he’s wrong. And sweet, sweet Malcolm. He’s a moron but he’s trying to be better. He’s putting his best self out there.

Also, this was a lot of fun and I’m thinking about breaking down Eve, Gil, Jessica, and Ainsley next (Maybe Martin but he’s pretty easy)