#okay im done. im off the soap box.

[vampirevatican]

so let's talk...

they cloned tyrone (spoilers and all)

SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES

"it's in the water", "straighter is greater", "i got that ruckus", "got damn! fried chicken", "grape juice", the shot of an old american dream like poster, depicting a white man, til it pans out to the ghetto.

the movie hints to it's audience from the start that this? this shit runs deep. yeah everyone is carrying on like normal, so does the movie, and no one bats an eye until it's deliberately pointed out. for me it says a lot that i can only convey or remind folks with in the way fontaine treats junebug in the first half.

hood niggas don't wanna be hood niggas.

and that right there is exactly fontaine. not only to just the brother he lost, but extended to junebug, yo yo, charles, his momma. sure he a product of his environment but he ain't got much of a choice and that's depicted when he does everything he can to get to the bottom of what the fuck is going on up 'til he literally loses control.

EXISTENTIAL CRISIS

seeing another you. loosing complete autonomy while being conscious of it.

what slick and 'taine saw? enough to make any human question the fabric of their reality, if they're real, if their memories are really theirs, how much can they recall in those memories and if they are recalling everything. when slick saw fontaine again and when fontaine first faced his previous body. 'taine's drive was figuring out if he's really him. hell as he was grappling with the chaos that it brings in his mind, what does he say when he finally snaps out of it?

im me.

as humans our lives, decisions, etc. come from some peace of mind that we have autonomy. the fact that we can say and do as we please, even if it's within a boundary, is enough for us to feel some kind of calmness in the thought that we have power over ourselves. can't control the world around me, can't do big shit, but i can do this. the little things.

all i could think was, 'but what if there's another you.. an original you.' and when his autonomy was put into question, him backing off like that and accepting it is a form of nihilistic defeat. he can't do shit but what he's always done, and if that means he or anyone else he loves doesn't die? then it's something he deals with, until it's too much to bear.. until the cycle of everyday (that he now knows is a cycle) weighs heavy and the only thing to pull him out of it? junebug. the good memories of his brother.

THE CLONES AND TIME

i had this originally titled and future, but the point here is the original/old fontaine and his plan.

i feel that old fontaine made that deal not just because of ronnie, or the decayed blood he has to wipe up, i feel like that's part of the defeatist mindset he has. he decided the "can't beat em, join em" route was better. that assimilating to what white folks have wanted since fucking eugenics was better, even if it's not he reasons that joining is better than just dying out.

"assimilation is better than annihilation."

ofc, our fontaine, doesn't believe any of that bullshit. that the whole operation is fucked. old fontaine says that it's something they both know but i agree and disagree... they both know that's what white america wants. for old fontaine if that's enough to not have another incident like ronnie? good enough but our fontaine?? he's got junebug he's thinking about, other little kids in the here and now, the dreams that yo yo had and still has, everyone in the hood who wants out but just can't seem to get out.

CONTROL GROUPS

"tyrone... ain't that you?"

now i didn't grow up in the hood,or rather the projects, but i was near it. small knit group, everyone knows each other more or less.

the drug dealer, the pimp, the pastor, the kids, the aunties/grandmas/mamas/misses.

in the black community we all know someone like that or have heard of them, and the end of the movie shows this. it's more than just a call back and a chance to play a hit by miss badu.

these regulars? they're the control group the second in command was talking about. they're the ones that don't quite get the same treatment as the experimental group (i.e yo yo, biddy, junebug etc.) they're key players to making the ecosystem (experiment/operation) run smoothly. which is why the convo of fontaine deciding to go with slick and yo yo is integral to the ending and vice versa.

to break the cycle, the system? everyone's gotta rally together. country wide. (in movie context ofc)

[dragonnarrative-writes]

Normally this would just be a comment, but I have another story in the works with a therapist so I'm just gonna put it in a reblogs!

NO ONE IN MY STORIES IS EVER GOING TO BE ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED WITH THEIR THERAPIST!

Simon and Bambi both go to therapy, so sometimes they'll reference it. They both do use kink as a way to enact some of their therapeutic goals together, like practicing honest communication and trust, and confronting anxiety and shame. Kink can be very therapeutic, and Bambi's therapist has been very supportive of her journey. She helped Bambi iron out her boundaries so she can communicate them effectively with Simon.

Transferrable Skills Part 1

Transferrable Skills Masterlist

Your therapist warned you about superstitious thinking. You've been working on it. In fact, you've been very good at catching it, challenging yourself to relax, and letting things go. Even before this big work trip, you consciously avoided the "unhelpful" rituals and reminded yourself that the little ones were just to make you feel secure, not to actually influence the future across an ocean.

"I'm very nervous," you had told Señor Snuggly two weeks ago. Your worn out stuffed lizard hadn't said anything back, of course. "That's normal, because it’s an international flight. So I'm going to give you a hug good-bye, and you're gonna stay here to watch the house. I know it's not going to change anything, but I'll feel better knowing you're here."

At the airport, you realized that you had forgotten your toothbrush. It had satisfied the part of your brain that was looking for one (1) thing to go wrong. Superstitious thinking, but the kind that helped you to relax and listen to music until you boarded.

Now, forced to sit on the floor, surrounded by shouting men with guns, your brain is stuck on your lopsided stuffed animal and blue toothbrush. Of all the things that could pop into your head, why those?

You almost let out a nervous giggle at the mental image of Señor Snuggly using your toothbrush as a shiv to save the day. And then the idea of what would happen if you started laughing right now almost startles you into another burst of giggles. You clap your hands over your mouth and curl into yourself a little bit more.

Next to you, your boss throws you a sympathetic look. "You okay?"

"No talking!" The nearest assailant yells in heavily accented English. You're pretty sure the attackers have been speaking Russian, but you could be mistaken. He brandishes his gun. "You want to die?"

"She needs to go to the restroom," your boss answers.

"No, I don't," you protest. You really, really do, and have for the last two hours. But being escorted out of the room alone seems like enough of a Bad Idea that your bladder can wait.

"No, she does not," the man confirms. "Shut up. Do not talk."

You meet your boss's eyes and try to silently convey, Why are you trying to get me killed?

His doughy face says back, I am a white man who goes to the gym once a week, and I really like the John Wick movies. I have delusions of being a hero. If one man takes you to the bathroom I have the mistaken belief that I can overpower two men with guns to save everyone. Also you're a black woman, so don't you have super powers? I believe in you, queen.

You may be projecting.

Ten minutes later, just as you're wondering if you should suggest a group field trip down the hall to the bathrooms, a series of gunshots rings through the building. The energy in the room goes from nervous to frantic in an instant. Your bladder shuts up. The Russian men start shouting and waving their guns, apparently too agitated to speak English. Two hostages start crying because no one else speaks Russian, just English, French and your half-forgotten, informal, Mexican Spanish.

Another three Russians come bursting in the room, snarling something you can’t understand. They grab at a couple of people, force them to stand at gunpoint and gesture to the rest of you. And then everyone is up and kind of moving in the direction of the door. But you can’t get out of the door because they’re blocking it, but they’re really agitated that the room is still full of hostages. And then some people are being pushed back down to the floor. Your boss ends up sitting back down again. A hard hand closes on your arm before you can get down, and you and four others are dragged out.

The leader says, “You all are dignitaries, yes? Your embassies will send money or they will watch you die.”

This is, potentially, the worst possible scenario. None of the five of you are even remotely important, let alone dignitaries. You’re not 100% sure about most of the others, but you’re an aid. An aid to an aid, really. The blonde woman with the remarkably sharp bob is a personal assistant. Today’s conference was about health data management, of all things.

You decide you’re not going to die with a full bladder. You look to the man holding your arm in an iron grip and point to the upcoming door on the right. “Can I please go to the restroom? I’ll be quick.”

He asks the leader something in Russian, and then you’re being shoved through the bathroom door. He doesn’t follow you into the stall, but it’s still so awkward to pee knowing that there’s a man with a gun waiting for you. You’re so glad you aren’t on your period - opening the wrapper on anything right now would feel louder than it has since middle school.

The door to the restroom opens just as the toilet finishes flushing. You hear a scuffle, an aborted shout, and then something heavy hits the floor. You freeze, heart racing. But then there’s no more sound.

You wait for what feels like an hour but must only be a minute before calling, “H-hello?”

You don’t get an answer. Unlocking the door and easing it open, you peek out and stifle a gasp. The man who had escorted you is on the ground, a pool of blood growing around him. His gun is gone.

You’re halfway through washing your hands before you realize you’re on autopilot.

It takes everything in you to fight down the urge to freeze in place and make yourself inch around the body to the door. When you poke your head out, the hall looks so normal that it makes you dizzy for a second. You try to decide what to do through the anxiety fog. You can’t hide in the bathroom with a dead body, and you probably can’t go back to the big room with everyone without getting shot. You have no idea where the other faux-dignitaries were taken. Apparently, there’s at least one person going around killing people in bathrooms.

You try to think of what your therapist would say in this situation. All of the options feel bad, she would say. So you can’t not do anything because it feels bad. Thank the anxiety for trying to keep you safe, then try to pick the least awful course of action.

“Fight, flight, freeze, fawn,” you whisper to yourself. Fighting is right out. “Flight, freeze, fawn.” There’s a body pouring blood right behind you. “Flight, fawn.” No one is around to appease. “Flight.”

Another gunshot and shouting. It sounds like it’s coming from the left, so you head right.

You shuck off your sensible kitten heels and fervently wish your otherwise sensible pantsuit wasn’t pastel purple in this very beige hallway. Not that a thicker-than-European-average black woman mincing around in a Swiss hotel and conference center would be inconspicuous in a black suit, your mind counters itself. You try to force your brain to shut up, with mixed success.

You wander a good five minutes, reminding yourself not to panic at every locked door you try. The halls are so quiet that you half convince yourself that you’ve gotten out of immediate danger. So of course, right as you’re about the round the next corner, one of the Russians appears, reeling backwards. And then he collapses, a knife sticking out of his neck.

You can’t really worry about that, though, because right after him comes one of the largest men you’ve ever seen. He must catch sight of you out of the corner of his eye, because his head snaps to look at you. You barely register the assault rifle in his hands because his eyes bore into you through the top half of a human skull.

Oh, I’m glad I already peed, you think, staring into the eyes of Death.

“Fuckin’ ‘ell,” the man says, growls really. “What are you doing here?”

“I… bathroom? Please don’t kill me. I’ll cooperate.” you squeak out. Oh, fawning! Cool.

“Price, I’ve got one of the hostages,” he says, nonsensically. “I’ve cleared the east wing.”

You jump when his walkie-talkie - of course it’s a walkie-talkie - squawks back an “Affirmative. Status?”

“She’s up and walking,” the man says, not taking his eyes from yours. “Seems uninjured.”

“Stow her somewhere safe.”

“Negative,” Death says. Before you can panic because what the fuck does that mean? he says, “Bringing her back with me.”

“Copy.”

When he takes a step toward you, you stop breathing. Everything in you is screaming RUN and DON’T MOVE at the same time. His second step in your direction results in a full body twitch. You get the impression that the gun is pointed at the ground, but the only thing you can really see is bone white over a black mask and what might be really pretty brown eyes, but the shadow from the overhead light really makes it hard to tell and your vision is going a bit darkaroundtheedgesandohI’mstillnotbreathingthat’snotgreat.

You’re shocked into gasping when a gloved palm touches the side of your face. The rough material helps you settle into your body, just in time to start hyperventilating.

And that’s when things get weird, because Death says, “Easy, lovie. Settle, f’ me, yeah? Deep breaths, like we’ve practiced.”

Your brain latches on to the familiar command to settle before you can even question why it’s familiar. The way the man makes a long, low shushing noise makes you so suddenly weak in the knees that you stagger where you stand.

And then it clicks. Holy shit. You know this voice. You know these commands. You’ve been listening to and learning them at least once a week for the last six months. He doesn’t even sound that different from over the phone or on a video call.

“There you go, that’s good,” Simon, the dominant you’ve been seeing online, tells you through his skull mask. “Keep breathin’. In through the nose, out through the mouth.”

It’s the second time in your life you’ve been surprised out of a panic attack. “W-what the fuck? Si?” you gasp. “What are you doing here? Did you kill that guy?”

“Questions are gonna have to wait,” he says. “Keep breathing. In for four, hold for two. In for two, out for eight. Can you do that?”

“Why are you in Switzerland?”

“Breathe,” he rumbles. “Settle.”

“No,” you hiss, even as your shoulders relax another fraction. The corners of your eyes start prickling with tears.

“This is a double red light situation,” Si says, staring into your eyes. “I know you’re scared, but I’m going to get you out of here. You trust me?”

“You are wearing a skull on your face.”

“And you’re wearing a purple suit,” he answers. “There are people who want to shoot both of us. You get one more outburst, then you’re breathing and following me. Acknowledge.”

What the fuck? “This isn’t a scene!”

His eyes bore into yours. “Might surprise you, but I’m aware. Acknowledge.”

A distant shout makes you flinch. You relent. “Acknowledged. Four in, hold two, two in, out eight. Follow.”

“Good girl,” he says, patting your cheek once. “Stay behind me.”

[bloodyzmbie]

TF 141 Headcanons

How the group would react when you ask them to oil your scalp(Reader is AA & has braids btw)

Warning: none just fluff

Side note: Im African American so their reactions will be based off of my experience and from what I see on social media with couples. ����

Soap: Soap would definitely be excited but, nervous to oil your scalp. He seen you do it plenty of times before but, he doesn’t want to mess up. Soap would ask tons of questions about the products you use in your hair. At first you would have to show him how much oil is good to put in your hair. When he gets the hang of it, it becomes his new favorite thing to do. He looks forward to oiling your scalp and gives great scalp massages btw. At some point he would ask you to oil his hair since he doesn’t want go bald lolllll.

Price: You don’t even ask him, he would ask you if he can help. Price has also watched you oil your scalp and wanted to do it for you sooner. Just like soap he was nervous that he would mess it up. Price would take his time applying the oil and rubbing it into your scalp little by little. When he’s done he gives extra scalp massages (I feel like since price has semi big hands it feelssss amazing getting a massage from him) His love language is physical touch so doing this brings him joy. (Alsooo Price would definitely have a basket full of hair care products so he can do your hair on wash day or any day in general lolll)

Gaz: Gaz already knows the drill loll. You don’t have to ask Gaz, he’s already grabbing a basket full of oils snd other products for your braids. (I picture Gaz being that mom hitting you with the comb for moving too much😭😭😭). Just like the others Gaz takes his time with each section of your braids and massages your scalp with his hands/scalp massager that stimulates it.

Ghost: When you ask Ghost to oil your scalp he gives you that “are you sure” kinda look. Once you reassure him that it’s okay he would take his sweet time. Literally paying attention to every detail in your hair. Each box outline in your scalp is getting massaged and carefully oiled. He loves the scent too of the oil you use, it brings him comfort.Ghost looks forward to oiling your scalp all the time since he’s gets to take care of you more. Just like Soap;Ghost doesn’t want to go bald lollll and it gives him a reason to smell just like his fav oil scent on you, so he asks you to start oiling his scalp.

Enjoyyyyy the short story. A longer story will be coming soonnnn💖💋

[whatever-vi-is-thinking]

just to get back on my bullshit 🤭🤭:

mcu bucky would have to end up with a black woman. I’M SORRY THATS JUST HOW IT IS I DONT MAKE THE RULES GUYS. I mean rly think about it tho hear me out:

he spent TWO YEAAARSS of his life in Wakanda and didn’t see not one bad b he wanted? yea okay whatever u say 💀

ONE OF HIS BEST FRIENDS IS THE MF FALCON. and as soon as he meets sams family what does he do? flirt with his gorgeous brown skin sister. need i say more? I SAID NEED I SAY MORE 🗣️🗣️🗣️

idk if ygs know who grandpa ken is on tiktok but thats bucky. look him up if you dont know BC YOU WILL AGREE!!!!! (alternatively you could disagree but then you would be wrong so like)

mcu please cast gail richards as a black woman thats literally all i want pls ill give a kidney and maybe a piece of my liver for it.

alr im done ill get off my lil soap box now 🤗

also guys no one have hurt feelings over this post pls. it is just in good fun and a personal opinion do NOT attack me bc i think he needs a black gf 😭… and technically gail richards is captain americas ex fiance so i feel like thats a slightly more pressing matter than me thinking kevin feige needs to make her black.

[dozing-marshmallow]

waiiit hear me out, chris with a yandere reader headcanons

(also i just realized im just spamming your entire inbox full, my bad actually😭🙏)

Now that’s a rare concept! 😳 You always give fun requests so please don’t worry! Thank you, and enjoy! :)

CHRIS MCLEAN X YANDERE! READER HEADCANONS

Chris can’t help being rich, hot and successful.

So it’s only normal that he’d have a fair, if not, larger share than most people of dealing with fan behaviour, especially of those who made it their life’s purpose to know everything there was to him; fantasies of marriage also being very popular among these goals.

Hence why when you in particular acted up in such way, he didn’t think much about it for he’d already seen it many times in the past.

Besides, he loved the attention. To have someone devote their entire lives to him and see it in action...

“Ohhh Chris! Your body is the sculpture of angels!” 

“Yes it is! Tell me something I don’t know.”

“I want to crush it into a jar and use a bit of your flavour every day as a bar of soap!”

“...”

You are not at all like his past interactions- you’re worse.

From the position of his assistant, which is more sucky on his part, since you were employed by the network itself, so he can’t get you fired easily.

No biggie! He’ll use your maddening devotion to him to carry out his biddings, from something as simple as getting him coffee(never needing to tell you his order) to something as vile as murder.

Yknow with his interns? Yeah. If anyone gets in trouble, it won’t be added to his record.

Somehow, every time he tried convincing himself there was nothing to be alarmed about, you would stray further away from your humanity.

“I can’t wait for you to die so I can take your skin and turn it into my one of a kind Chris McLean duvet! That way, I’ll always feel your warm embrace.”

“Haha yeah... I’ll always feel yours too...”

He nicknamed you “Sierra 2.0”- not to your face.

You understood how loveable your darling was and how he was a necessity to the world than you were to him.

Buuuut you would appreciate something in return if you were going to do all this for him in such a close proximity.

“I’ll give you a suuuuper big peck on the cheek if you do this right. You know how happy it’ll make me.” he winked.

Well, besides from that.

It was like he died already!

“Oh Chris... Why are you holding out on me? Is there something new about you that I have yet to learn? Why do you hesitate to love me? Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?”

“Kinda. Stalkers aren’t really my type, but please, don’t stop the attention.”

“Stalker?! No no Chris. I’m not a stalker! I’m your true love! I’ve torn myself apart to serve you as the noble thing you are! I worship you morning and night, I lick your dirty laundry clean, I give you the organs of everyone you ask of in heart shaped boxes, I even had one of your interns carve your figure into my back!” You take your shirt off and turn around, revealing the bloodied outline of his perfect body burning in your skin.

Okay, he loved his face being on anything possible.

But what the hell.

“You...love me a lot, huh?” What would happen if he took his sight off you to blink?

You turn back around, with that smile still drooling on your own face,“And it wasn’t just any blade he used... It was the blade you keep on you. So after he was done...I took it and...did things with it... You’re the most beautiful thing on this earth Chris, I can’t imagine how dull it would be if you were never born... I had to have you in me one way or another...”

You know what...

Having a second look, it was actually appealing. Of course it’d be! It’s him. Wait...why was he even freaking out? He doesn’t care about what happens to you! You chose to do this to yourself, in his image, in his honour and he didn’t even need to lift a finger. Exactly! This is just what was expected of a person like you to resort to when they’re constantly around someone as good looking as h-

“Should I have him carve me into you now?” You suggest, face as hot as a Bunsen burner.

“N-No, please! I’m good.” He raised his hands up in front of his chest.

You pause.

“Of course... How selfish of me. I shouldn’t be asking you, my love, to do anything that’s not from your free will. I don’t have the right to trap you or force you to do anything, I can’t do that to someone I love... You’d be selling yourself short if I won you over that easily anyway...” you drop your face into his chest,“Oh Chris McLean... You’re too aristocratic for anybody in this world. No one could ever be remarkable as you. I’m so lucky...I got to be from the same generation as you.”

...He pushes you away,“Yeah...sooo...personal space. Please.”

How ironic it was, a time when you were actually sane kicked in his adrenaline.

Ring ring.

“Yoooo Cody. Codemeister. How you been, buddy? Good? Greaaaat. How’s that therapist? Any good? Cuz I might need you to reference me...”

[sansloii]

Name: Hollis! ( though, i go by Marshy as well and have for about 6 years )

Pronouns: she/they

Preferred comms: discord because tumblr ims are questionable at best. i also uninstalled the app because of how often it would just randomly crash for little to no reason so.... if you want to reach me, disco is the safest bet

Name of muse(s): I have eight wonderful creatures of varying temperament. Batch 1 was Mikah. Batch 2 was Penelope, Wynn, Evan, Dakota, and Joseph. Batch 3 was Roderick and Andris. I also am working on fleshing out Vega properly but he's not quite done yet.

Experience in RP: in about 2012-ish, i was into f.andomstuck and i had an oc for that until like.... 2014-ish? it was baby's first blog and i didn't really know what I was doing. I had fun, while it lasted, but i also knew some of the people in this community ( like they went to the same high school as me ) so any issue we had on tumblr would translate into lunchroom confrontations. I didn't enjoy that part so much and my interest for it fizzled out by the time i graduated. then, i jumped over to the fire emblem fandom and made an oc for fire emblem awakening! i think i stayed in that rpc until 2016/2017 and i had two ocs, a mother and her son from the future, that i still very much adore. there were ups and downs and i feel like i was taught.... multiple frustrating lessons during my tenure there. it did help me develop my writing a lot and i have to say that i'm honestly better off having taken the chance to do it.

lastly, i ended up here in 2017 and i'm not leaving. i also have another massive oc blog i'm slowly reworking but i'm trying not to stress myself out lol.

Best experiences: it's very difficult to put specific experiences into words because most of it, for me, is vibes. my best experiences have been interactions and plots with people that I not only get along with but like... you know--we understand each other. like if i decide that i'm not going to rp on tumbles for a month and maybe just stick to headcanons, i can do so without fear that you think i'm wasting your time. or that we can pick up where we left off and it's okay if you respond to the months old thread you had with me. or! we can just stay up until the wee hours of the morning talking about ideas or blorbos or getting really into a discord rps. like it's the vibes that i can come to you like a fart in the night with a gifset or image like "hey this is our muses" and, likewise, you can do the same with me.

to those of you who i vibrate at the speed of light towards at any given moment, you know who you are. thank you for being patient with me and giving me the space to vibe with you :)

Pet peeves / dealbreakers: i feel like every time i open my mouth about pet peeves i have, i sound like a crotchety old person that always has something negative to say deep down ... but w/e. it's my soap box.

i've noticed that since i've come back, it feels like i have to be the one that's chasing some people for interactions or plots more often. or like. right out the gate, they wanna jump from A to Z and be best buds and whatever so we can speedrun everything. or... i'm expected to or have to do most of the work because they're quite literally doing none of it after expressing interest. and like some of that isn't inherently bad! i'll be the first to admit that if we're friendly enough and progress something enough to where it's like... an established thing? we can have something going faster than the speed of sound after that. we can have multiple ships, a dedicated au, a whole slew of worldbuilding shit together and i won't care because i know said person on some level. and that took time + a whole slew of back and forths.

however, it doesn't feel great to express that "hey i want to plot something but it'll take time and like... if we're shipping on top of that, it'll take double that amount" and watch, in real time, as that person just... eventually leaves you on read. and/or just doesn't interact with your content anymore. and i can tell the difference between being preoccupied/ having not great week/taking a break from tumblr entirely/being slow and being put on a shelf/ barely acknowledged very clearly. i shouldn't have to feel like i'm competing for a slot or something, which is the vibes i got sometimes and ( as you would expect ) didn't like.

this isn't directed at anyone i'm currently following, ofc. i know i am not perfect but i also know that i am an extremely patient person, which is how I want to be treated. It's very frustrating to try and try and try again only to get the bare minimum from people i genuinely wanted to interact with. but c'est la vie--such is life--and i move on. i, like many others, have limited time to be on here and if something doesn't bring me joy after a month, two months, three months, I'm more than willing to part with it. there has to be effort on both ends in some way and if you want me to pat your ass, pat my ass too.

Muse preference ( fluff, angst, smut ): you cannot make me choose. now, does that mean that I write them all in equal amounts? certainly not. but it really depends on my mood. sometimes, all i wanna do is talk about soft moments. other times, i want to put my muses in a blender and watch them process what's happening to them. occasionally, i'll let them roam free and be as horny as they like. the key is to always cycle through the three so you don't get burnt out on any one of them.

Plot or memes: uuuuuhhhh it depends? plots are my fucking jam and i like having a general storyline to follow when writing and then figuring out the little details when we get to them. it's a long process but i enjoy the wait and the buildup more than i enjoy air so djsfdvdfvd--

buuuuuut i also think memes are a valueable, valueable springboard into interactions. and plotting straight outta the gate can be intimidating for some. plus, if you want to plot but your head is empty atm, finding and sending memes with the same vibe as the plot point you wanted to discuss is helpful! i'll admit that i'm not great at sending in memes but it's not for lack of wanting to. it's more not knowing what to send and picking a muse to send along with it that trips me up. Plus, not being here most of the day tends to mean i miss a lot of meme reblogs orz

Long or short replies: long replies but i do trim them shorter or rewrite portions of them. sometimes, i will write what i deem to be "too much" for a reply ( e.g: my partner has like 350 words and i'm sitting at like 625 words ) and i'll go back and edit it down to 450-500 if i find stuff that doesn't really move anything along or is just needless padding.

Best time to write: it used to be late night but i pass out too often for that to be effective anymore ( because of my sleep schedule for work ), so i tend to favor late mornings and early afternoon. if i'm writing late at night, it's because i didn't have time during the day to do so.

Are you like your muse(s): n...not really in most cases. like we share some traits here and there but for the most part, my personality, sense of style, and morality deviates from most of them.

tagged by: @rexpyre tagging: @arcxnumvitae @gunrising @royaletiquette @nezumivc103221 @bonesofchaos and anyone else that wants to.

[thegoodclones18]

Our Sniper PT.12

Prolog- while you and Eilish became more of good friends you had gotten along with him very well. Soon you learn what Makarov was planning for you when you spied on him to learn a dark truth about what his next plans are.

Warning- swearing

—————————————————————————The next day you woke up to the sound of buzzing and the prison doors open, you rubbed your eyes as you looked across to see Eilish stretching and shaking his head as he got in front] of his cell like all the other prisoners. When rolecall was done everyone did whatever they wanted for a while until breakfast you stretched your arms and legs as Eilish went to you and grabbed your arm “How is it feeling?” He asked as you looked down “Not so bad, I’ve had worse things happen.” You stated and yawned.

After a few moments, people began to head to lunch as you followed along. Eilish grabbed your arm lightly and pulled you to him as he caught some of the prisoners glancing at you “You ok?” you asked as you looked up at him “Hm, oh yeah sorry about that.” He said and let go of your arm as you two got your lunch and sat at an empty table. He would glance around to make sure no prisoners would sta*rt a fight with you again. You continue to eat as you look over to see two prisoners fighting as you watch them and their bloody faces you can see the blood on their knuckles and faces as guards try to pull them off each other. You watched as you ate your food as you began to think about Price, Gaz, Soap, Ghost, and König as you wondered how their mission was going you looked at Eilish who was daydreaming about something as you knew it was best for a person to daydream at a place like this.

Asked König as he entered with some weapon boxes in his arms and sat them in a crate. “Makarov is a dead man.” Said Ghost he glared at Konig as he didn't want to see what was on that photo.

In a warehouse Ghost, Gaz, and König were setting up a base as they had a weapon area near the machines and tanks they were looking at the layout of the Gulage trying to find out how to get you without any alarm or defaults as they looked for an Escape route. As  König and Gaz were talking Ghost was still thinking about slicing Makarov's throat open when he got his hands on him for the things that he had done to you. The thought was cut off when he got a text from someone he looked on his phone to see that it was a group photo with you in it as Ghost had his arm wound your shoulder. He didn’t care about the text as his gaze softened a little as he was trying to keep hope that you were okay. He snapped out of it as he began to feel sorrow and sadness as he shook his head a little and his hardened gaze went back as he looked at the text to see that it was just Price. He unlocked his phone to see what it was 

J.Price - Any new intel on where the escape route can be or how you boys are going to get in? 

Ghost looked at the map looked at the lines that Gaz created took a picture of it, and then sent it to Price as he said that it was read at 12:24 and that he was typing as he looked at the map. his phone vibrates and he looks at the text.

J.Price - Good job 👍 

He rolled his eyes when he saw the emoji turned off his phone and then left the room “Where are you going?” Asked König as Ghost continued to walk “Smoke break” he said bluntly and left the warehouse as he grabbed a cigarette and looked out in the woods to see that it was covered with snow as he took his mask off and rubbed his face. He sighed and put the cigarette in his mouth and lit it as he took it out and blew smoke in the air. His gaze went down to his phone to see Price's message was still there as he leaned on the building and looked at the Messages that he had with you.

Snipe- Sooo Is it bad that I may be in a tree

Me- Hang on Im coming to get you, stay the fuck away from trees you damn squirrel!

Snipe- 🐿️

He smiled a little at the text and continued on skipping a few as it was mostly about a mission or talking shit about people or cadets. He smiled as he saw the images that you would send to him like you flipping off a Drill instructor's back or you holding a lit blow torch near a gas canister when you had to help fix a car. He looked at a recent text message and sighed as his smile faded. 

Snipe- Hey can I ask you something?

Me- What  is it 

Snipe- If we get out of this can you promise me something 

Me- I’m not buying you a dog

Snipe- not that

Me- what is it then 

Snipe- promise me you will do easy on yourself Ghost 

Me- you know I can’t keep that 

Snipe- please Simon, for me and for everyone else we hate seeing you break yourself down and hold back 

Me- I’ll think about it 

He sighed as he saw you type his real name as he can admit he has Been hard on himself lately. He turned off his phone and sighed as he took a drag and finished his cigarette. He didn’t notice the door opening and closing “Needed some time?” Asked König as he took his hood off. “Yeah I’m just ya know,” he said as he crossed his arms “Simon,” said König in a comforting tone. Suddenly Konig was on the ground as he looked up at Ghost who had rage in his eye “Don’t you dare say my name like that agin” barked Ghost as he then went back into the building leaving König confused as he got up and looked at the woods to see a group of bunnies hopping. He sat down on the ground and watched the bunnies as he needed some time to himself to try to calm him down.

As he sat down with the mask in his hand he felt tugging and looked over to see a Bunny with black and grey spots nibbling at his mask he smiled and calmly picked up the bunnie and put it on his lap as he petted the bunnies head trying desperately not to hurt it. He smiled to himself as the bunnie reminded him of you, while people were usually away from him or stayed near him. He looked around and noticed birds flying on a V line and then got up with a bunnie in his arms as he went inside. 

He heard Gaz and Ghost talking as he walked up to them and looked at a map he saw the escape tour that they chose as he was still petting the bunnie “König…. Put the fucking bunnie down” said Ghost as he looked at the bunnie as it was giving Ghost the evil eye. When Ghost reached to grab the bunnie it grunted as it was more in König’s arms sniffing against his vest. König held back a laugh as he knew the bunnie was not gonna go without a fight, “You can keep it, but if I see it near me I will not hesitate to shoot it, am I clear?” Did Ghost as he crossed his arms as König nodded. Ghost paled over at Gaz to see that he was misusing and sighed as he looked over to see that he was in fact petting the bunnie.

In the barracks, Ghost took off his mask and rubbed his eyes as he rested his head on the pillow and tried to close his eyes when he heard something plop next to him. He opened his eyes and looked over to see that the bunnie was cuddling up to him and was getting comfortable. Ghost rolled his eyes and turned over to face away from the bunnie as he tried to rest but felt the bunny's whiskers as he opened his eyes to see the bunny's face. He picked up the bunnie and placed it on the ground as he tried to get some sleep. It ended up that the bunnie was asleep cuddling up to his stomach that night.

The next day ghost was wearing a hoodie backward with the bunnie in front of him like a baby carrier. He had his skull mask on as he saw people getting ready “What’s going on?” He asked as Gaz went to him and was confused as he snickered “Not a single word or I will shock your throat” said Ghost as he walked alleys over to König he looked worried and looked for something. Ghost sighed and looked at the bunnie as he went to König as he knew he was looking for the bunnie “Ghost where is…..” said König as he looked over to see the bunnie in his hoodie. He didn’t want to die so he just grabbed the bunnie and pet their head as there was silence. “Mind telling me what’s going on?” Asked Ghost as he looked around “Oh Ja, so we got intel that this is a base or area that is near the exit and entry plan” he said as he kept petting the bunnie. Ghost nodded and looked at the bunnie as König caught on and smiled “Looks like someone like Lieutenant Fluff” said Konig as Ghost rolled his eyes. “Lieutenant Fluff? That’s a dumbass name” said a ghost as he crossed his arms “Says the man who carried him like a baby” said König as he chuckled “Let’s just go ok, and if you say one word about the bunnie I will skin it” so as Ghost as he got in a truck with Gaz and König chuckled and went in the truck.

In the Gulage, You and Eilish were talking as you were telling him about the dumb stuff you would do as he hung onto every word. There was a sudden silence which meant Makarov was walking through. The two of you stayed silent as your eyes followed Makaorv as he walked past everyone and went to a room. Everyone then continued what they were doing as you looked at the room “What’s in there?” You asked as Eilish looked over at the door “Probably some dumb Military stuff or just some kind of torture room” said Eilish as he shrugged. The guards told everyone to get outside and they all did except for you as you hid inside some boxes. The guards walked by as you stayed silent as the dogs walked by and barked, Once the area was cleared you got out and went over to the door as you peeked inside to see that it was dim and dark. You sighed and saw a vent and snuck inside making sure that there was no noise at all as you went through the vent. You got to the outer side and looked over to see that it was Makarov as he was writing something on a piece of paper like a document.

 A group of people walked by as they were the general of the German special forces “How long is this going to take Makaorv?” Said the general as he groaned. Makaorv stopped writing and looked at him “I will give ether to you when I’ve broken her into a perfect specimen.” he said as he got up and walked over and leaned on his desk sitting on it as he rubbed his face “She’s hard to break, even after all the torture she still is going to be on Prices side” said Makaorv as your eyes widen “Break her harder, I need her ready for the attack, you have 4 months to break that bitch” he said as he then left the room with his guards. After they left, Makarov slammed his hand on the desk making you flinch “FUCK” he yelled out and threw papers to the ground as he threw a chair at a painting. He took a deep breath and then looked at a file “Show me [name]’s file” he said as a TV showed up and a display of you appeared when you had to take your sergeant photo. He began to read your bio and looked at your skills and scores on tests and stuff. He groans as he doesn’t find anything to break her. He later got to your backstory as he began to read it as he still for ways to change your mind in order to join him. He waved his hand away as the lights lightened and the TV went back up. You snuck out of the vent and made sure the coast was clear to get out. 

  When you got out you looked around as you tried to get to the courtyard you bumped into a guard making you fall back. “Why aren’t you outside, get your ass outside now.” They said as they grabbed your arm and dragged you out not giving you time to say anything you glanced over to see Makarov leaving the room as he glanced at you and continued to walk to another room with a price of paper that was listed like it was a list of ingredients. 

You were shoved out the door as you looked around to see that the sky was a light grey and snow was falling. You walked the area feeling the snow crunch under your feet as you looked at the footprints with the shoes. Everyone was breaking rocks into pebbles and some were breaking down coal as well with a pickax. You walked over and picked to break down coal. You heard something walking behind you by the snow crunching as they placed something on your head. You turned around to see Eilish as he had a beanie on. You felt on top of your head or felt that he had put a beanie on your head. “Some people here are not cold-hearted.” He said as you smiled “Is that a pun?” You said as you crossed your arms and smiled “Maybe” he said as he smiled softly. You shook your head and looked at the coal as you raised your pickax and brought it done on the coal.

    When you got back in the Gulag, everyone had some free time as you and Eilish were walking around. You saw some of the prisoners playing poker, talking, smoking, or just arm wrestling. The two of you were walking around as a group of soldiers walked up to you both “Makarov needs to see you two.” said one of them as they grabbed your arm. You hissed in pain as it was bandaged “Come along” they said as they yanked your arm making you follow “What does he want with us?” asked Eilish as he followed but was playing with something in his pocket while keeping a keen eye on the soldiers as they were escorted to a room. In the office was Makarov leaning on the desk with two files on the desk with his hands on them as you looked at Eilish for reassurance. “Looks like I grabbed two of the finest Soldiers of Russia.” he said as he tilted his head to you “{Name} “Snipe” and Eilish “Death Watch” What a coincidence,” he said as he nodded and two soldiers hit the back of your legs making you two fall to your knees and your hands were tied behind your back as you had a rope tied across your mouth and tied behind your head. You tried to get out as you looked at Makarov with hatred “It’s a shame {Name} you really were one of the best Russian soldiers.” he said as he got up and walked over to you. You tried to get out of the restraints as you glared at him as he walked up to you knelled down and looked at you “It's a shame that the person you knew the most and who took care of you caused the most damage to you.” he said ad you were confused.  

    He smirks and snaps his fingers as his men put a gas mask over you there was a tube that was connected to a canaster and the soldiers turned it on as gas slowly went into your mask you tried to fight back but couldn’t as the last thing you heard was Makarovbs voice talking to Eilish “Good job soldier.” he said as your vision soon turned black as you collapsed on the cold steel ground.

[patchdotexe]

doip. / 10.13.23: Climb to Cryovain

IT'S TIME FOR THE BEGINNING OF THE END! first half of the grand finale of doip! im not doing great physically but im super pumped regardless. let's goooooo what the fuck do you mean arepo has three 9s and two 8s in his skills. oh my god.

meanwhile alidaar is 2 or lower in everything but an 8 in athletics and a 5 in intimidate and performance

LAST TIME, ON DRAGON OF ICESPIRE PEAK! our heroes continued their exploration in the fortress of axeholm. having dealt with the last of the ghouls, our heroes set out the last foes remaining to make sure the fortress has ability. giant geckos. awkward hot tub conversation. but ultimately, our heroes wrre victorious. with the fortress now clear, our heroes set out to phandalin to deliver the good news. however, as the town appeared on the horizon, the town was attacked by the dragon cryovain, forcing the townspeople to take shelter. will our heroes be able to defeat cryovain? or will their adventures come to an end? find out…. today!

okay that was a little better.

Last time, on Dragon of Icespire Peak!

Our heroes continued their exploration of the fortress of Axeholm! Having dealt with the last of the ghouls, our heroes sought out the last foes remaining to ensure the fortress's habitability. The fights were difficult, fending off a swarm of giant geckos, an ancient and twisted banshee, and an awkward conversation in a hot tub, but ultimately, our heroes were victorious. With the fortress now clear, they set out back towards Phandalin to deliver the good news. However, as the town appeared on the horizon, Phandalin was attacked by the dragon Cryovain, forcing the townspeople to take shelter. With their paths now set towards Icespire Hold, will our heroes be able to defeat Cryovain, or will their adventures come to an end? Find out, today!

dauble: alidaar can i have 29 gold pieces? ;w; alidaar: i only have 22. <- has 140 platinum

huh! okay, dauble needs 300gp worth of diamonds(?!) for revifify! That's A Lot Of Diamonds. this is a little sus but also considering dauble's Thing of "wanting to keep us alive" and alidaar and kepesk's Thing of "dying" it's probably a good thing to have in our back pocket.

leo: im giving dauble 5 platinum. enjoy your 50 dollars nyx: thank you for the 50 dollars. i'll have pocket change for burger king

meanwhile, alidaar is mourning vincent the ox. and is also being the party ATM. jason: the alidaar teller machine. the ATM.

DAUBLE IS SO REGRETFUL TO PAY MONEY. SORRY BUDDY THAT'S THE PRICE OF GOODS AND SERVICES AND DIAMONDS

putting twigbias in a terrarium made of a coke bottle alidaar: i'd appreciate not carrying around a 25 pound box anymore yeah :V

alidaar, holding up twigbias by the leg: got a terrarium i can put this guy in? he bites.

dauble: HE NEEDS THE BEST PLANTS MONEY CAN BUY alidaar: [digging up grass and dirt in the background with the hand not carrying twigbias]

can't believe cryovain finally ate vincent. im so sad.

nyx: [complaining abt currency] leo: i can pay the 2 gold :3 jorb: you could use your electrum! leo: dauble has electrum?! jorb: dauble has 4 electrum and i don't know why! leo: WHY?! jorb: i just said i don't know why!

we are packing random herbs into twigbias's terrarium. does twigbias have the cilantro soap gene

twigbias is happy with his enclosure! as a reminder, this is a tiny twig version of tobias, our party member who made a dramatic exit that dauble isn't emotionally over.

this is a little weird.

time to go over all our items! maybe we should buy a crowbar so we dont have to kick a box open again. why do i have a spell scroll of comprehend language. where did that come from

maybe i'll finally remember to use my cloud rune. at the end of the campaign. against cryovain, who probably won't have flunkies i can redirect to. lol lmao

jorb: you done shopping? leo: i guess so, yeah jorb: what's your plans for the evening? jason: well, i was planning to play d&d with some friends,

arepo sits in the inn lobby and plays the background music on repeat.

jorb: you are all awoken in the morning- leo: [pikmin soundboard] jorb: -by a pikmin.

TWIGBIAS SOUNDS LIKE A PIKMIN

rise and shine, time to evacuate! and also eat cold leftovers for breakfast. just like a hotel! jason: it's continental breakfast, but the continent is antartica.

im gonna be real, its hard to imagine sildar as anybody but barry bluejeans.

jorb: are you bringing the barrel crab. leo: that's a great question. nyx: NO! >:( green: it'll be unattended!

We Are Not Bringing The Barrel Crab

arepo wants to take the scenic route to icespire peak for the purposes of collecting info for wikipedia, but sadly we are on an urgent mission. it's fine, we can take the scenic route on the way back OH SHIT WE CAN CHECK IN ON DON JON! AYYY time to divert to the gold mine! and also briefly fill arepo and kepesk in on the were-rat Incident™. and by briefly i mean discussing "were-rat" vs "where rat"

attempting to tell don jon about tobias's fate went extremely awkward! alidaar loves to fumble everything.

don jon: you know where the barracks are, right? alidaar: yep! kepesk, who has not been here: yep! [walks off in the wrong direction] alidaar: k- kepesk - kep - kepesk, no. Kepesk.

Is Mountain's Toe Unionized? (jorb: …………i don't know.) Mountain's Toe Gold Mine Has Become Unionized Due To Fears Of Death By Rat People

tobias message! AW HE SOUNDS MORE RAT-Y… BUDDY…………. he's been talking philosophy with his new friend who has a rat companion! in return, dauble lets him know to stay safe and that we're off on an adventure We Are Still Not Telling Him About Twigbias

WAKE UP IN THE MORNING FEELING LIKE P DIDno. bye don jon! uh oh we've rolled a 9 for survival. this is fine. we are definitely able to know what mountains are OH GODDAMNIT WE GOT LOST. [alidaar voice] DAUBLE WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE We Have Walked Past Icespire Hold alidaar stays up for watch! alidaar mains reinhardt in overwatch. alidaar tags out by dragging dauble of bed and faceplanting into their bedroll

dauble: [shakes alidaar awake] [points at approaching wolves] alidaar: [tired] you're a dog sometimes. [lies back down] dauble: [facepalm]

Roll For Animal Handling! dauble befriends wolves with rations after us discussing earlier if rations even do anything (we have not been tracking rations). We Have Avoided Combat In Our First Random Encounter!

ON THE ROAD TO ICESPIRE HOLD! FOR REAL THIS TIME! ah. we have encountered a frozen ogre. that's… a sign. and it has definitey been killed by the dragon of icespire peak! TIME TO CROWBAR THIS MAN OPEN TO STEAL HIS STUFF alidaar watching in bafflement as dauble whacks an ogre popsicle with a crowbar HIS SACK IS FULL OF GARBAGE AND ALSO A COWBOY HAT

dauble: i put on the cowboy hat. alidaar: i take the cowboy hat away from dauble and put it on. [..] alidaar: i put the cowboy hat back on dauble when they're not looking.

jorb: [scene description] ..the mountain dwarfs the fortress, like the videogame dwarf fortress..

alidaar takes the lead! Welcome To Icespire Hold jogging up a long and winding path in which absolutely nothing happens. well that was simultaneously dramatic and not dramatic at all OH HEY HORSES these horses are extremely normal. that's weird! there's just.. four honses hanging out in icespire hold. where the dragon is. with an unlocked door. huh.

WE LEFT ZODIARK BEHIND

we're putting zodiark in one of the empty stables.

OH THERE'S PEOPLE HERE runa vokdottir, syleen wintermoon, brakkis elspaar, and jabarl the orc-biter! they're being dicks to us. syleen: oh look, a group of wannabe heroes. [..] turn back and things won't have to get ugly. alidaar: there's nothing wannabe about us. dauble: get out of our way and things won't get fucking ugly. (leo: LET DAUBLE SAY FUCK!) jabarl: if lady syleen says to do something, you do it. arepo: looks like it's too late for things to not get ugly :D kepesk: [cannot see] guys who are you talking to???

ROLLING FOR INITIATIVE!

dauble has become a badger. jorb: you're a stinky little creature. dauble: i'm a BIG stinky creature, thank you!

OH. DAUBLE IS, IN FACT, BIG

(jorb misread the dire badger's stats, then misread it again before making the badger normal sized as its supposed to be. whoops)

oh. i just wasted my breath weapon. Lame. alidaar tries to knock the other party back but they roll high to resist it, and he's only able to get a small dent in on syleen (and his battleaxe does nothing to jabarl). arepo is casting magic missile! pew pew pew pew

jorb: you turn around and the horses are all lengthening.

(jorb was editing the horses in the stables and i sadly did not get a screencap)

AH. BRAKKIS IS KICKING MY ASS A LITTLE ACTUALLY

kepesk, squeezing past arepo and dauble: WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE? bunch of freaks >:0 [starts wailing on people]

fun fact, alidaar's ideal is "live and let live, ideals aren't worth killing over", and these are just Some Guys, so. he's mad but he's not gonna kill without giving them a chance to back down. if they keep going then it's gonna be all over for them

(dauble was aiming to kill though. dauble no)

[charlie voice] i cast fireball nonlethally we've been reminded we can attack to incapacitate! which is something i never think about bc it never comes up. but hey that's probably a good route here seeing as ali's not shooting to kill

[mega mushroom noise] [cartoon bonk] [gmod ragdoll noise] (i successfully knocked out syleen! yippee! i mean hitting somebody with the flat side of a battleaxe is probably not Good for their continued existence but)

OOPS IM AT 10 HP. OOPS. OOPS [chugs a healing potion]

jorb: alright, what's the holy word you utter [for word of radiance]? dauble: fuck.

Can We Please Clean Up This Traffic Jam So Jason Can Play The Game arepo sticking his head around the corner and going HEY BATTA BATTA BATTA at runa when she's trying to attack kepesk

Why Do I Never Remember To Use My Cloud Rune Even After Saying I'm Going To Remember To Use It

knocked down half the group so the other half is surrendering! woo! WE DID IT WE SOLVED A PROBLEM WITH NONLETHAL VIOLENCE alidaar talks jabarl and runa down and tells 'em to clear out while they deal with the dragon because like. they're just here to steal stuff once the dragon leaves and attacked us before we could wake it up. unfortunately for them we are hellbent on being heroes and also dauble is Really mad

alidaar: hey dauble could you stop standing on the unconscious body now that we're not in the thick of it dauble, who spent most of combat standing on syleen: no jabarl: can you stop standing on syleen? dauble, furious: you think you can tell me-- alidaar: [picks dauble up]

thieves exit stage left! goodbye

alidaar and dauble are beefing over alidaar letting the thieves go! haha whoops arepo: [genuine] it'd be messed up if we locked them in, though. alidaar: oh we should do that! dauble: [runs over to the door]

We Do Not Have The Means To Barricade A Door Successfully

alidaar: i use my smith's tools to weld the door shut. jabarl: huh, what's that noise? better not investigate.

found an anvil! Hey I Bet We Could Use This To Barricade The Door oh wait the doors open inwards. oops.

Salami Break pepper wants my salami so so bad

nyx isn't feeling great so we might wrap up soon we're going to sequence break by tying rope to a crowbar and throwing it at the dragon. jorb: roll animal handling, the dc is 50

d&d has made me learn a word today!

(while writing that image id i initially typo'd it as "dauble tower". im so good at this)

oh goddamnit there's a fireplace. why is there always a fireplace. HEY JORB WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVE AN IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT THE FIREPLACE YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT. HEY . HEY, nvm this fireplace is normal

(future fireplaces have the potential to wake up cryovain if we're too loud near them! good lord we're so cursed about fireplaces)

time to rest and recouperate! oh hey syleen's here. time to have a chat! and also a proper introduction. oh hey, arepo's heard of her group! they're the Stone-Cold Reavers, a group of sellswords that turn to brigandry & thievery when they run out of jobs. syleen's pretty chill when not trying to kill us, actually, so we've got a truce going on. not gonna bother each other and if we don't loot everything from cryovain's hoard, hey, we can leave some behind for them :p

aaand nyx's headache is increasing so time to disband for the week! here's hoping we can pick back up next week to face… the DRAGON OF ICESPIRE PEAK!

[chorus of pikmin beeping]

Guess Who Never Used Their Cloud Rune

[p4l23]

Let's Save Water by p4l23

WARNING: There will be smut

JJ got home and was in need of a shower. He had a long day on the charter boat. It was a day of back to back excursions and man was he beat from being in the heat.

When he got inside he kicked his shoes off onto the mat by the door and he went straight into to the kitchen. He was on a mission. He grabbed a beer from the fridge and chugged it. He belched and wiped his chin where the beer had dribbled. As he left the kitchen he threw the can into the recycling box. A thing that Kiara insisted they had to get.

He walked into the living room and saw John B chilling on the couch in the living room watching TV and drinking a beer "Hey Bree" "Hey Jay" they gave each other the Pogue handshake "long day?" John B said as he took in the sight of his friend. "You have no idea" JJ looked around seeing that Kiara and Sarah weren't there "where's the girls at?" "They went shopping for some more groceries, they should be back soon though" JJ nods and decides to go grab clothes, "I'm going to get in the shower" he said as he returns from his and Kiara's bedroom with clothes in his hands "okay man" JJ walks into the bathroom and shuts the door and turns on the shower. He peels his sweaty clothes off and pulls back the curtain getting inside. Closing the curtain behind him. Steam filling the room as he starts to lather his body with soap. Closing his eyes at the feel of the warm water sliding down his body.

He's in the shower for a little while when all of a sudden he hears the door open and close. Assuming it was John B taking a piss he hollers "what the hell man? You couldn't wait until I was done" but all he hears is the sound of clothes falling and hitting the floor. "What the fuck??" He rips open the curtain to see an amused, and very naked Kiara. 'Wait what?' His eyes slowly taking her all in until he finally makes it up to her eyes who is still staring at him waiting for him to say something.

"Your not John B" JJ gets out, instantly regretting it when he sees her look at him weirdly "no, I'm not, were you expecting him?" JJ glares at her "you weren't here" "well im here now, and I really could use a shower" she says as she pushes gently on his chest so he gives her space as she climbs in. And reaching back to close the shower curtain behind her. She then steps closer, looking at him with a Mischievous smile and looking up at him through doe eyes "Im dirty" "so your showering with me" he said giving her a cocky smile loving the change in events "I figured it would be better this way, you know to save water" she said as she kisses him "I definitely agree" he says against her lips and kisses her "you know me, I'm all about helping the environment" as he backs her up against the wall and leans to her side and grabs the bottle of soap he knows she uses and squirts some in his hands "well, we better get you washed then" his eyes are darkened with lust as he slides his hands down the curve of her back and around to her stomach. Leaning down and kissing her neck, sliding his hands up her stomach to her breasts as he grabs them. Making her gasp and hold onto his shoulders. He smirks against her neck and rubs her nipples, gently pulling them, he looks in between them and watches as the water and soap drip down her body. "Your right, you are absolutely filthy baby" It's one things she has learned, JJ loved dirty talk, and damn was he good at it.

When the soap is washed off her breasts he pushes her up against the wall of the shower and kisses down her neck to her chest, then to her breasts. Sucking on her nipple while he rubs the other breast. She throws her head back and he tweaks his fingers around her nipple that isn't in his mouth. She is so wet and not just from the water in the shower. He smirks against the nipple in his mouth before he nibbles it gently she moans loud. She holds onto his strong shoulders and rubs her legs together trying to get some friction. He sucks on her nipple one last time before he lets go of her boobs to kiss down her flat stomach, almost to where he knows she wants him. Hes croched down looking up at her and kisses her thigh. She looks down at him and bites her lip. He grabs her leg and carefully, making sure she doesn't fall hooks her knee over his shoulder making her squeal a little at the movement before it turns into a loud moan as he swipes his tounge slowly against her folds. She holds onto the wall with one hand as the other goes into his wet hair.  "JJ" she moans.

He smirks up at her before rolling his tounge in a circular motion against her clit. She gasps and clenches her eyes shut. He pulls back a little "open your eyes Kie" she shakes her head no and he chuckles. His chuckle raspy with lust. "Baby please" he says between locking her clit "I want to see those beautiful eyes when I watch you cum on my tounge" she opens her eyes.

'Two can play this game' she smirks at him "Oh you think you can?" "Oh I definitely know I can" he says knowing she is trying to mess with him. She knows damn well he can. "then why don't you stop talking and show me" he smirks. JJ isn't one to not follow through on a challenge.

He reaches up and squeezes her ass pulling her pussy closer to his mouth. His tounge sliding into her wet pussy. She grabs his hair hard and her other hand leaving the wall of the shower to hold onto the curtain making it slide open a little and arching her back "oh my God Jayj" she moans out. He slides his tounge in and out of her pussy, sucking on it as his nose rubs against her clit.'fuck he's good' she thinks. He looks up at her making eye contact as he starts sucking harder on her. He hears her moans start coming out faster and she starts grinding against his mouth making him moan against her. He could feel her pussy start to clamp down around his tounge. Her breathing getting faster. So he slide his hand up to play with her clit as he continues to eat her out. Her moans getting louder. Could feel her start to come undone.

“JJ-” the door slams open, “do you know where’s the – oh Jesus Christ. Kiara?!” John B yells closing his eyes and slapping his hand over his eyes JJ’s jumps up at the interruption. Pushing her behind him in one smooth motion, forearm to her waist, his body in front of hers. At the same time Kiara covers her breasts with one arm and pulling him closer so he would cover her more. "Oh my God" Kie yells again, though this time not in pleasure. “John B!” JJ reprimands loudly, “you never heard of knocking!?”

“I did not realise you were… otherwise engaged,” John B turned to face the wall. “Also, what the fuck?” He croaked out

"Yea what the fuck??? Why would you barge in here??"

"What the fuck were exactly my thoughts too when you confused me with John B when I came in here" Kiara mumbles. JJ glares at her over his shoulder "woman not the time"

"First off what??" "Nothing! John B  just get the fuck out!"  John B tries to feel for the door to get out. "Ow!Shit fuck" he yells out as he bumps into the wall and doorway as he tries to make a quick escape and not look. He finally opens the door and practically runs out, slamming the door shut behind him. Leaning back against the door.

Sarah came out of the kitchen running over "what the fuck happened?" Taking in John B's frazzled state "you have no idea what I just walked in on!!!" Sarah looks at the closed bathroom door and taking the fact that Kie's presence missing.

Remembering when they got inside and Kiara asking where JJ was and finding out he was in the shower and pretty much pulling a houdini. A sly smile slides onto her face "Kie and JJ" she points to the door John B nods. Still looking scarred. She covers her mouth as she burst out in laughter."JJ was pissed" "im sure he was" she said as she slapped his chest playfully and rolled her eyes. And then smirks "That bitch better tell me everything" John B shakes his head "I hope not" "cmon let's go make supper, something tells me Kie isn't going to want to make spaghetti now" she laughs. They walk away from the bathroom giving the couple some privacy.

JJ is completely pissed not only because he was interrupted when he almost had Kie cumming, but because he REALLY didn't want anyone but him seeing his girl like that.

He jerks his head when he hears her chuckle "what is so funny" "nothing" he raises his eyebrow at her. Seeing her face red and trying to hold in her laughter. He rolls his eyes and laughs. When they both stop laughing he leans in and captures her lips with his. Their kiss turning from chaste and sweet to heated. He pulls back to get a breath, both panting as they look at each other. Even after the interruption her eyes are still dark, and full of lust. Panting. Looking like a wet dream. She watches the way the strean of the water drips down his strong shoulders and arms, down his chest and abs.

She leans forward and says against his ear "I thought you were going to make me cum?" He smirks before he resumes his position with her knee over his shoulder and continuing where they left off

It doesn't take long before she came.

The sound of their moans and the water from shower bouncing of the walls. Steam filling the air.

When they get out the shower, the water is ice cold, both worn out and completely sated. He watches as she shakily grabs a towel and steps out to dry herself off. Watching her slide the towel down her soft, wet skin. God he couldn't get enough of her.

He smirked when he remembered her mouth around his hard dick, then when he pressed her up against the wall her legs around his waist as he fucked her. Watching her call out his name, feeling her pussy clamping around him.

Just the thought of it all making him want to that that towel and throw it down, put her ontop of the counter of the sink and do it all again. 'Get a grip man' he thinks

He steps out of the shower behind her and kisses her shoulder and dries himself off.

When they are dressed they walk out of the bathroom. They follow the smell to the kitchen.

When they get into the kitchen they see that supper was done and grabbed their plates and their food. Joining a still embarassed John B and a very amused Sarah. "Soo how was your shower?" Sarah says teasingly. Kie and JJ look at each other blushing and smile before Kie looks back at Sarah "it was really good" Sarah takes a bit of her food and looks at Kie "I bet it was quite enjoyable" JJ winks at Kie "you can definitely say that"

Since they didn't cook they ended up cleaning up the food and the dishes. Kiara was drying the plate he just handed her and stretching up on her tippy toes to put it away in the cupboard. The cupboards were pretty high up and she was definitely riding the struggle bus. He dried his hands on his cargo shorts and walked up behind her. Putting his hand on her hip and pressing his chest against her back "here let me help you put that in" he said against her ear before he grabbed the plate from her hand and put it inside the cupboard. She felt goosebumps on her skin from where she felt his thumb brush against the skin underneath the waistband of her shorts. Her breath catching "Jayj" she breathes out "Kie" the kitchen is instantly filled with tension. "Do you need any more help with anything else?" He says as rubs his warm palm against her skin. She turned around with her back against the counter and his arms on both sides of her, caging her in "Wow you're very helpful" she said as she looks from his eyes to his lips and back. "What can I say I'm very diligent" Kiara gives him a surprised look for him saying such a word and actually using it In the right place before she smiles playfully "are you reading Pope's thesaurus again?" He glares at her and she laughs "you know what I think your gonna get it for that" her eyes widen and she tries to escape but he doesn't let her have it as he tickles her sides and she laughs hard "Jayjjjjj, stop it!!" She squeals "take it back" he threatens "take what back?" She says through her laughter "okay I guess I'm just going to have to keep tickling then" "okay okay! I'm sorry your smooth with the words" "I guess that will do" he says as he lets her go and smiles down at her. She catches her breath and holds onto his shoulders. They look into each other eyes before Kiara lays a hand to his cheek to pull his head down to kiss him.

"Jesus now they are gonna do it on the counter!" John B complains though is still smirking. They flip him off and he shakes his head"Pope and Cleo are coming over, We are gonna watch a movie if you horndogs want to come watch with us" he says as he walks into the living room "We're coming" Kiara says "not quite the way I had in mind" JJ grumbles. Kiara rolls her eyes and gently elbows him and walks toward the living room. JJ rubs his ribs "damn Kie, beat me" he says before he laughs at his innuendo Kie looks back at him over her shoulder "are you coming "smooth talker" she teases and he glares at her before following after her. "Oh baby believe me I'm coming". He says before he smacks her ass and takes off running into the living room. Trying to escape Kie's wrath.

[sirswooshnoodles]

Image descriptions: many many tags:

#as a jeweler: DEAR GOD WHAT HAVE THEY DONE #if thats actual garnet. why would you do that to it #if it isnt: ill kill you for lying #but from the photos alone: that isnt silver

#thats some mystery metal shit that you dont want touching your skin because why does it look like its rusting

#when silver us dirty even from soldering it doesnt ever look luke that

#AND ANOTHER THING! that prong setting? not even fully closed half those prongs are barely touching that stone that shits gonna be wiggling-

#and wobling scratching up that stone and being a nusiance to keep clean PLUS its gonna get caught on everything

#ALSO from the look of the stones in all of them #theyve been touched woth heat and are damaged. dont buy damaged stones theyre gonna break eventually

#but anyway those almost def arwnt garnet. from the look of the other settings id say a shitty quality cubic zirc because those are - #settings you can only do by casting (or gluing them in like costume jewelery)

#whoch makes me wonder what castong house would stoop That

Low

#all the canadian ones wont even take ur order without proof of professional trainin

#okay im done i gotta go to work

#sorry laz im back #THE VISIBLE SOLDERI G GOD

#i would have been ripped to shreds o the solder job alone if i tried to present that as even a first attempt at a prong setting

#WHY DIDNT THEY CLEAN THE FUCKING SOLDER BLOBS

#its kne thing if ur setting is fucked but to be visibly VISIBLY a shitty rush job with no clean up work #come ON PEOPLE

#this os all im going to think about for the next 7 hours of my shift i

‹now it

#its. so poorly made

#like they went throigh the effort of goving a fairly decent effort in the photography. AS IF THE WOULD HELP THE SLAPPED TOGETHER BULLSHIT

#im just #im astounded

#if this was practice work i wouldnt bat an eye

#BUT THATS THE FUCKING FINISHED PRODUCT #THATS WHAT THEYRE SELLING

#i would be too ashamed of the piss poor craftsmanship to even consider selli g that with my name attatched #im just. im just. why are they so dirty

#did you not even try to clean them nameless etsy seller????

#you can see the spots where they filed and sanded. but they didnt bother to clean anything. why is it so crusty

#they could be just ok. but there is ZERO finishing work done #like they skipped the most intensive part of the process #you cant just skip finishing work man

#like even if you dont polish them you dont have to polish them #but you need to clean. you need to tske off the solder blobs and you need to clean whatever scum is stuck to your metal

#laz tell me one thing what kind of metal are they advertising this as i need to know

#prev. the metal on all listings is Sterling Silver

#STERLING????? I THINK THE FUCK NOT

#first off. thats too dark to be sterling. SECOND. STERLING AT NO POINT STARTS TO LOOK LIKE THAT NO MATTER HOW DIRTY #it looks also like those have never NEVER seen a pickle pot let alone some soap and water

#sterling at no point becomes slightly yellow

#not even nickle silver (a common alloy people try to pass off as sterling) looks like that after soldering and nickle silver looks gnarly-#before you pickle it and do your finishing on it. like thats not even nickle??? unnamed etsy seller i have questions

#like. are they intentionally and willfully decieving people? or were they lied to by a supplier and dont have the training to know that??

#Also. the second to last ring. baby girl why is the metal itsself cracked. who hurt you

End of tags

Next image is a stick figure holding a box of popcorn with a speech bubble saying “damn”.

End descriptions.

I believe all these tags are from the same person but who isn’t shown so I’m not 100% sure.

Note: typos in the tags are from the photos I didn’t feel like fixing them

kinda obsessed with these, clearly beginner, rings on Etsy being marketed as garnet when i'd bet money that they are glass

the metal work is. certainly better than what i've ever made, so i don't want to speak to harshly. but uh. um.

[zucchiniegg]

adhd hacks that actually worked for me (i’m drunk)

wall calendar. one with multiple months at a time on it. mine has 4 months which is enough for a whole semester (i’m in school rn so that works great)

when i am no longer in school, i am dead serious on this, i am buying two more of these so i can lay out a year at a time on the back of my door.

cross off the days every night before you go to bed. u gotta make it TACTILE. u gotta make it BIG and CLEAR and PHYSICAL.

put things on the walls. stop keeping everything in drawers. not only will you forget where it is but you will never put it away if it takes more than 1 step.

i have my meds hanging on a hook next to my bedroom door & my masks on hooks. i keep my graphics tablet on a hook by my computer when im not using it. i know it sounds insane but it works. decorate your walls with Items.

buy command hooks. yes the brand name ones. the no name ones don’t work, i’ve tried. splurge on this. they will last forever and they will not damage your paint if used correctly.

if ‘organizing,’ feels overwhelming, think about ‘subdividing’-- e.g. i used to have a very messy shelf full of all my medicine cabinet stuff. now i have two moderately messy shelves, one full of toiletries and one full of first aid stuff.

someday perhaps i will further subdivide them. for now, this is twice as tidy as it was before!

there is a voice in your head telling you to ‘just leave it on the table and tidy it up later.’ this voice is the devil! if you hear this voice often, consider getting a bin to keep on your desk for all the things the devil tells you to leave out.

i call this ‘localizing the mess.’ then instead of having a messy desk, you have a messy bin. less overwhelming. much better.

this also works on computers. i have a ‘localized mess’ folder on my desktop. inside of it is an older ‘localized mess’ folder. i do not judge myself for this even when i want to.

repurpose stuff for organization. i love little bins. if you need a bin for anything (i.e. the devil bin mentioned in the previous point) you can just use a small cardboard shipping box, or cut up a bigger box to make one.

use what you have lying around. when you have something in your mess that can be used to hold OTHER mess, then do that and you have saved yourself a cleaning-up step!

if buying pretty little bins or boxes or hooks etc motivates you to tidy up then go for it! the whole ‘ohhhh you don’t need MORE stuff to deal with your EXISTING stuff’ is like. whatever.

i have a couple plastic trays i bought at walmart and they are the only reason my medicine cabinet is not actively on fire right now. so.

set alarms on your phone. i’m not gonna tell you to use your phone calendar bc i would simply forget to check my phone calendar. so whenever you book an appointment, IMMEDIATELY open your phone calendar and set TWO alarms. one for the day before the appointment, and one for about half an hour before you will have to leave for said appointment.

you will grow to despise your alarm tone. this is okay and preferable to missing doctors appointments. if you become filled with rage every time your phone vibrates you are doing it right.

dishwashing scrubbies that you can fill with soap.

my roommate disagrees w me on the merits of this one but if i did not have this thing i would not do the dishes. perhaps this is Just A Me Thing but the title is things that work for ME so.

oooooooh im done now! there’s more but i’ve been drinking a big sippie of ginger ale and vodka this whole time and ive reached the point where it is time to go watch chicago fire instead. good night

[tscmu]

Hiiiiii i love your works!!! Could you do sugawara helping his s/o with a bunch of hwk that they've procrastinated on for so long they can't look at it without breaking down in tears and frustration??? thank youuuuu ❤️❤️❤️❤️🥺🥺🥺

ofc!!! i love him sm this is such a cute concept pls

- so ur sitting there, barbecue sauce on ur tiddies with ur bio homework, almost just hitting your head on your desk multiple times bc it would just make it go away-

- you got it like two weeks ago, ur teacher knew it would take a while since it was about 10ish pages of just reading then two sides of a4 of questions....hell naw

- but you being the ace procrastinator you are managed to hold it off for a wholeass two weeks!!! until the night before it was due in!!! go you babe!!!!!!

- LUCKILY u have someone on speed dial 

- none other than our koushi sugawara

- mans is a biology nerd tell me otherwise he loves animals and the environment HHH IM IN LOVE WITH HIM PLS

- “hey sugar!!! :D” “can you please help me with my bio homework its stressing me out:((” “aRE YOU CRYING ILL BE THERE IN FIVE-” 

- and by five he meant seconds literally

-----

“yeah, thank you mrs l/n. ILL HELP YOU I PROMISE! I LOVE YOU! JUST DONT CRY, TELL ME YOURE NOT GONNA CRY!” you jumped up to hear him frantically running upstairs, your mothers light chuckle echoing behind him. 

“o-okay, i won’t cry!” you laughed a little, significantly more awake as he flung your room door open, pulling you into a hug, gentle yet meaningful.

“im here now, kay? itll be okay, youll be fine!” he stroked the back of your head, slowly entwining his fingers into the roots of your hair as you nuzzled your head into his neck, the scent of freshly baked cookies and fresh soap filling your nostrils. “now, let’s look at what this says sugar.” still half hugging you, he moved over to your bed, picking up the piece of paper with two fingers.

after a few minutes of him reading in silence, your head on his shoulder the whole time, he turned to you.

“ok, i get it! you calmed down, sugar?” you nodded, smiling. just from his presence even being there you were automatically happier, he had that effect on you. all the boys on the volleyball team laughed about it, teasing that you were wrapped around his finger, as he was yours, smitten with eachother.

“i know what that one means..” you pointed to question five, then picking up your notebook and showing him your little notes on it. “and that one. but its question two b thats confusing me.. and the rest of them, to be fair.” you laughed a little, as he smiled at you.

“thats okay! i understand them all, i think, so ill go through them with you one by one. ill stay here all night if i have to, sugar, you come first.” he kissed you on the head as he lifted the paper up so you could both see it from lying down, and started to explain the first question.

“ok.. i think i’m done!” you said, leaning back in your chair, making it move back a little as your boyfriend jumped awake from the bed.

“hm? yay, thats incredible sugar! let me see..” he motioned for you to bring the paper over, and his eyes drifted across the page, analysing your words. “perfect! that sentence theres really good, youd get full marks at an exam just for that sentence alone.. this is all amazing! im proud of you, darling.” he smiled as you hopped onto your bed, him pulling you in to be the little spoon.

“thank you, really. i love you so much.” you said, turning your body around to face his, you both nose to nose.

“i love you too, sugar.” he said before kissing you gently for a few seconds, pulling away for a moment before you kissed him back again, more powerfully, catching him off his guard. “oh, wait..” he pulled his phone out, and you felt yours buzz from the table.

deadchi- suga i know youre at y/ns but for GODS SAKE YOU BETTER NOT FALL ASLEEP IN PRACTICE

you- JESUS CALM DOWN also how did you know he was here- yoonbum that u

the holy spirit- heard my name

loml- I WONT I PROMISE PINKY PROMISE

salt- fuck off its 3am

milk boi- THEN WHY ARE YOU AWAKE-

queen- go to sleep pls im tired y/n back me up

simp 1- KIYOKO

simp 2- KIYOKO

you- OKAY WERE GONNA GO TO SLEEP NOW BYE

-----

thank u for requesting!!! box is always open kith kith

[hobbitsnapes]

The Red Hoods Protègè chapter 4

Older Damian Wayne x ofc

(Photo made by my lovely friend @bakketsux)

Summary:Red hood has taken a young vigilante under his wing and subsequently changes Damians life forever. (I suck at summary’s)

A/N: I know this doesn’t have anything to do with the story, but with what is happening with our world/country I want to put this out for you all. Times are tough and our world is in need of more love. I want everyone to feel and give out as much love as they can to even those who don’t love you. Please if are able to text ‘FLOYD’ to 55156.

As Jason and angel get to their apartment and climb the many steps, they have a comfortable silence over the both of them. Jason goes and unlocks the front door with his key and they both walk in and take their masks off. Angel taking off the hood that is secure to her head along with her domino mask that Jason gave to her.

The smell of food from what they assume to be from Roy filling the small apartment. They both walk into the kitchen to see a pizza box on the counter with a note attached. ‘Since you guys will be in late.’ Both grab a piece and start eating in the empty room with nothing but the moon coming from the widows to light the room.

“Hey after I’m done I’m gonna hop in the shower okay.” “Okay little one.” “You know I’m not that much younger than you.” She says with a laugh. “But are you still younger than me?” “Yes..” “then you’re my little one, little one.”

He starts to chuckle as she goes to her room to change out of her suit. As she peels off her suit starting with the secret notches in her suit, then to the hidden zipper in the front, a sigh escapes her when she gets the material off of her skin and can feel the cold breeze on her hot skin. As the suit comes off her back, a shiver runs up her spine when the cold hits her scars. She doesn’t pay attention to it as she removes her bra and panties and puts on her robe. She takes her suit and puts it on the dresser to wash later.

She steps out of the room to see the kitchen and living room to be empty, a light coming from under Jason’s door.

She walks to the bathroom and switches the light on, engulfing the room with light. She takes a look at herself in the mirror first checking for anything on her face, she sees that when she looks at her hair, blonde is coming in the roots. “Hey jay!” She yells. “Yeah?” “Tomorrow can I go to the shop and get some hair dye?” Jason steps out of his room with his sleeping clothes on. “That’s if you get me some as well, I’ve needed to dye mine for weeks now.” “Okay I’ll just get the same one then.” “Okay, goodnight little one.” “Night jay jay.”

She shuts the door and turns the water on and sets it to a warm temperature. She strips from her robe and sets it on the counter.

She steps into the shower and lets the water engulf her and sighs at the comfort it brings. She grabs her sponge and lathers in in soap as she gingerly rubs her body down from the sweat that collected on her body. Taking extra care on any healing wounds from previous nights. As she reaches up to wash the top of her shoulder blades a sharp pain runs through her and a small cry leaves her as the pain sets in until she lowers her arms. She waits for the pain to subside to get back under the water. She puts her head under the water and lets the water wash the soap from her body and wet her hair. She grabs the shampoo and lathers her scalp and smiles at the minty cooling it brings.

She stands in the water for a few minutes even after she’s finished washing her hair. She’s so tired she could fall asleep in here.

She shuts the water off and steps into the steamy room and grabs a towel and drys off, putting the towel on her head to dry her hair as she puts her robe on. She goes back to her room to see her suit is no longer on the dresser. Jay must’ve come and gotten them. She smiles as she grabs a shirt that she took from Jason one of the first nights that she came to live here. Even after a year of training it’s still fitting like a dress on her. She gets into bed and lets the comfort of her bed put her to sleep.

She comes into the apartment with a bag containing 2 boxes of black hair dye and a snack for later. “Jay jay im home!” “Bathroom!” “You taking a shit?” “No!” “You naked?” “No” “okay then.”

She enters the bathroom and is met with Jason, bent down to see the top of his head, with a fine tooth comb trying to take the white tuft of hair away from the rest of his hair but failing miserably. “Want some help?” “Please.” She chuckles as Jason sits on the toilet and grabs the comb and starts Sectioning his white bit from his hair. “Why don’t you dye this bit, I never understood why you keep it.” “Makes me look badass.” A laugh rumbles from her and Jason joins in with her. “Yeah and the 6’4 height and the 200 plus pounds of Muscle along with guns isn’t enough.” “Hey plenty of guys have that, who else can say they got a white tuft of hair?” “Old guys, maybe you are getting old now!” “You little shithead.” Jason grabs her sides and starts tickling her, as she lets out a laugh and a cry and tries folding her body from him and he gets up and keeps tickling her sides. “ST-O-PP II-TT!” She laughs “STOP IT DAD!” The tickling stops as she gasps and looks away from Jason. She feels his large arms wrap around her and is squished to his chest. She wraps her arms around him as well. “Okay then I’ll stop, daughter.” A few tears threaten to leave her eyes but she wipes them away on his shirt.

As they untangle their arms from around each other Jason kisses the top of her forehead, a smile breaking on her face. Jason sits back down while she takes the white hair and ties them with a small rubber Elastic and pins them away as to not get any dye on it.

She prepares the dye and puts it in a paper bowl and dips the brush into the mix, and starts off by painting the hair around the white. Then once that is coated she spreads more dye on his hair, getting it in well on his strawberry blonde roots and coating all the hair until it’s fully saturated in the now dark dye. She wraps his hair in cling film. Leaving out the white bit.

She sits down as Jason takes the other box and mixes the dye. He puts the gloves on and takes a glob and puts it in her hair, some drips on her forehead and she laughs at the scared look on Jason’s face. “Maybe don’t pick up so much dye in one go eh.” “Yeeaahh I’ll remember that next time.” He takes a washcloth he has ready for this very purpose and wipes the dye from her forehead. She chuckles at the look of pure Concentration on Jason’s face, even his tongue sticks out a little bit. He carefully rubs the dye into her hair and a calm silence overcomes the two. When it’s all in she wraps her hair in cling film and waits another 20 minutes for Jason’s hair to Process.

Once the 20 minutes has passed they go into the kitchen and Jason bends down to get his head in the sink. She starts washing the dye from his hair and makes sure not to get any in the white. Once it’s washed out her hair is ready. “Now I’ll try not to get any water in your ear like last time.” “You better not.”

Jason starts rubbing the dye out of her hair, another silence overcomes them as the water turns from black to clear. She gets up and puts her hair in a towel. The two walk into the living room and sit down on the couch. “What do you wanna watch?” “Umm, I don’t know.” “Have you seen the Harry Potter movies?” “No?” Jason gasps. “Okay I know what we’re doing for the rest of the day.”

He gets up and goes over to his stack of movies and picks one to go into the tv slot. “While you do that I’m getting something to eat.” She goes to the fridge and sees what she’s been waiting for all day. She grabs the yogurt and a spoon and plops on the couch with Jason. “How can you eat that shit?” “It’s the most wonderful and Decadent food in all of existence.” She says as she puts the spoon in her mouth. They relax as the first scene comes on and prepare to watch what will probably take up the rest of their day.

As Damian walks down the hallway of the manor he’s greeted by Alfred. “Master Damian, master dick has requested you to go to the family room for ‘brother time.’ I brought sandwiches and lemonade for you both.” “Thank you Alfred.” Damian groans as he walks towards the living room. The sound of the large TV is heard down the hallway the further he gets to the room. Damian walks in and sees dick laying on one of the large couches facing the TV. “Hey dames, come on in.” Damian rolls his eyes as dick sits up and he joins him on the couch. “What do you want, you never just invite me to watch a movie.” “I know, I was here helping Bruce with a case and we got it figured out faster than we thought and I’ve got nothing to do today. So I thought we’d have some brotherly bonding time.” “Can’t you do that with drake?” “He’s out with steph today.” “And Todd?” “Damian...you know he doesn’t talk to us anymore..hasn’t for a while.” “Probably because he’s got his hands full with that annoying little brat hes taken in.” “Wait what? What do you mean?” “Last month father and I went out one night to a large drug trade and found the place filled with bodies. When we found the couplet it was Todd and said he wanted to show us their work. He’s taken in a young girl and calls her his Protègè. And god she’s Insufferable and won’t shut up and is a fucking Nuisance.” “Oh yeah, what makes her that way?” “She’s always saying something snarky, always with a smug look on her face and makes inappropriate comments towards me.” “What kind of comments does she make? And why does it bother you so much dames?” “I’m done talking about her, if I keep thinking about her I’ll get a headache.” “Okay then..” dick says with a smile. “What do you want to watch?” “I don’t care, just nothing annoying.” “You find everything annoying.” “Not everything, just most things. Besides father and I leave for patrol in a few hours.” “Ever seen Chicago P.D.?” “No.” “Then we’re watching that.”

When Damian walks down to the cave he sees his father is already in his suit. “I need you to hurry up tonight, Croc escaped the asylum and is in downtown Gotham.” “Got it.” He hurried to get dressed and grab his things faster than normal.

Catastrophe, all that was around them was destroyed apart from the tall buildings that stood high into the sky. Cars where abandoned with windows broken. Glass and Debris scattered all over the ground, crunching against their boots as the walked around trying to find where croc went.

A scream could be heard on the other street over, Batman and robin running towards it. They cane to a halt when they saw croc holding a woman in the air, about to rip her apart when a bullet was shot into crocs foot. The beast let out a roar and threw the woman, both men running towards them to not only save the wounded woman but to stop croc. As Batman runs to fight croc, Damian crouches down to pick the injured woman. That is until he hears another person running towards them. It’s her. “You go help Batman and I’ll take her to safety.” Angel picks up the woman and runs towards the other street, presumably to where the cops are.

As Damian goes to help his father he gets hit by the tail of croc, throwing him to the ground a few feet away. Croc sets his eyes on the fallen robin, and charges at him raising his claws to strike him. But before he could be ripped apart a shot fires and hits crocs hand. As croc clutches his hand in pain, Damian feels arms wrap around him, pulling him up. “Are you hurt??” “No im fine!” “Then do your fucking job and try not to get killed!” Angel takes a rock next to her and throws it at crocs head. Angering him and having him charge at the both of them. Damian takes his grappling gun and shoots croc in the head and pulls him to the ground and kicks his head into the ground. Angel gets on top of croc and beats his head into the ground until croc gets back up and she swings off from him before he can fling her off. Red hood appears and shoots croc in the knee. Croc falling to the ground in pain. Batman comes and kicks crocs head into the ground again, finally Knocking him unconscious.

“You know I didn’t need your help!” “Hmm yeah, totally looked that way when you just laid there when he was about to rip you apart!” “We had it under control!” “You had it under control as much as you control your angel issues.” “DO YOU EVER SHUT THE HELL UP!!” “Don’t be fucking MAD AT ME THAT I SPEAK THE TRUTH! EVERYONE JUST TIP TOES AROUND YOU BUT GUESS WHAT I WONT! You’re just fucking mad that I speak the truth!” “IF IT WASN’T FOR THIS CODE I WOULD’VE KILLED YOU BY NOW!!” “ROBIN! STOP IT NOW!”

Damian didn’t hear his father when he charged at her, no longer able to control his anger. He grips her arms and throws her, her landing on the ground. She reaches back and hits him as hard as she can in the mouth, stunning him for a second as she flips around, slamming her thighs around his neck and locking him in a choke hold. “You know, most people in this Position are in very different Circumstances. If you weren’t such a prick I’d offer to try it out sometime.” She gets off of him as he gasps for breath. He hits her and throws her again, against a car and walks away.

“You know, I looked up to you when I was on the streets. Thought you and him were a symbol of good, justice, and to help others. Now I see you’re just a broken man who can’t handle when someone challenges you and gets angry when someone defies you. Robin is supposed to help people, to help the greater good and to save this city. You’re no robin.” When he turns around she’s gone. When he heard her, a pain shot through his heart. He let his anger control him, he was becoming what his mother trained him to be. A soldier that ends anybody who defies his beliefs.

As him and his father speed away awards the manor, a silence fills the space. Damian looking down just thinking. He’s not thinking about one thing in particular, more a jumble of things that he can’t put into parts and Sort through.

When they reach the manor Damian gets out and starts walking away, not even bidding Alfred or his father a goodnight. Both men watching him walk away with tense and rushed footsteps.

The sound of his door opening brings Damian back to reality. He walks into the room with his head still down. He goes to the bathroom, striping from his suit and getting into the shower. He scrubs all the sweat and grime from his body and washes his hair.

As Damian gets out of the shower he looks in the mirror and sees a bruise starting to form on his neck, from the girl who may Infuriate him, but also he let down because of his anger, a lesser but still strong pain shoots him in the heart at the thought. Her usual arrogant and snarky voice sounding disappointed and, pained. How many others has he let down since becoming robin? How many no longer look at robin as a symbol of hope. How many no longer think of robin being good, all because of him. The thought hurts him to think as he climbs into bed. The pained sound of her voice ringing in his head until sleep overcomes him.

Tags: @comic-nerd-dc @bakketsux @psychovigilantewrites

[haro-whumps]

Box Boy Plurality: Reliable

CW: villain monologue, referenced dub/noncon, slavery, gag use, dehumanization, degradation, brainwashing, creepy + intimate whumper 

Tag List: @thatsthewhump @whump-it @ashintheairlikesnow @fairybean101 @finder-of-rings @comfortforthepain @shameless-whumper @that-one-thespian @burtlederp @castielamigos-whump-side-blog @raigash @im-not-rare-im-rarr @spiffythespook @whumps-the-word @frnkieroismydaddy @whumpity--whump--whump @michelleswhumpyreblogs @jo-castle @newandfiguringitout @lumpofwhump @infested-with-bloodv2

Masterlist

02’s knees hurt very, very badly, but his back hurt worse. The dining room floor was unforgiving against the bruising on his knees, and having to hold still, muscles in his back taut despite how much they ached, served as a reminder to 02 of what his new owner had done. Had just finished doing, even though they were now acting like nothing had even happened. They sat at the table, the other pet, Soren, cozied up to their side, claiming most of their attention, the two of them eating something that smelled so good it made 02’s stomach burn and twist and cramp. He was, reluctantly, grateful, to Soren.

He’d saved him. He was continuing to save him, by draping himself so artfully over their shared owner, by feeding them careful bites and shifting attractively, every so often, just often enough to keep himself interesting. 

02’s back was grateful, even if his brain had a hard time getting there. He was--still pissed. The pain didn’t help with the anger, any. The guilt didn’t temper the anger, either, knowing that he’d needed rescued, that he’d forced Soren into a position where he had to service their master like some television whore. 

Fuck. Fuck! He hated this. Hated the pain. Hated how the floor kept going in and out of focus, his earlier exhaustion laughable compared to this. Hated knowing that the moment Soren stopped being captivating and pretty and sweet, their owner would turn back on 02 and the pain would start again. What would they do to him? Starvation seemed on the menu (ha), they were in a good position to just lift up their foot and stomp down on 02’s aching back, or maybe they’d just kick him in the side while they got up. They had some sort of fucking god complex, it could be that they wanted him to know just how far below them he was.

Exalted (and what the fuck? The arrogance!) murmured something into Soren’s ear, and Soren got up. 02 twitched, knowing that whatever was about to happen, it would start (resume) now, and he wouldn’t be able to stop it. And Soren cocksucking wouldn’t work twice. He felt his breath picking up.

“There, 02, see?” Exalted purred oh so fucking smugly from where they sat. “You kept your ugly little mouth shut, and you waited until Soren was done just like you’d been told, and now you get rewarded for your troubles. See how much nicer things are when you obey?” Their tone was saccharine, syrup-sweet, and 02’s teeth grit. Yeah right.

Except Soren set a plate down in front of 02, and he immediately began drooling, sealing his lips shut and swallowing hard. A trick? 02 glanced at his new owner (it made him woozy), waiting for the punchline.

Exalted grinned. “You behave so well for someone with such a bad attitude. Good boy, 02, you may eat now.”

02 lifted his shaking hand and Exalted tutted at him, making him flinch. “Did I say you could use your hands?”

Right. Right. Well, okay, not the worst thing he’d ever been forced to do; and this food was much more enticing. He bent down further (ouch) and bit into it like a dog with its foodbowl. He hated it. But it tasted so good, and he was hungry, and he needed the energy, and 02 didn’t know when his next meal would be. Mike hadn’t fed him much, but there was a routine, and he could carry on knowing Mike would simply beat him when he felt like it, nothing else. But Exalted, 02 gathered, was significantly more methodical. Much more like the Processors at the training facility. And with the Processors, the pain had never stopped. 

His chin and nose and cheeks were messy, no precision when he ate like this. He could hear Exalted murmuring to Soren, and his returning, hesitant, “Yes Exalted”s and “I understand, Exalted”s. Was 02 just an example for Soren? A “Don’t act up or I’ll treat you like shit, too” before he started getting too out of line?

02 licked the plate clean, then ran his tongue along his mouth, chin, nose, everywhere he could stretch his tongue to reach. He lifted himself back up slowly, knees hurting, wondering what he should say, and if he even gave a fuck about what he should say. Probably something humiliating and grovelling like ‘thank you’ or some shit. Gee willickers Exalted, thanks for feeding me! Thanks for showing off the fact that you control every aspect of my life and not being a total and complete demon about it!

The hand in his hair made him flinch, his back searing with the spasm, moisture in the back of his throat getting sucked down the wrong way and choking him before he coughed. The pain came now, right?

“Easy, boy,” Exalted murmured, toying with 02’s hair as he tried to get his lungs working again. “So jumpy.”

“I wonder fucking why!” 02 shouted, and was immediately struck backside the head for his words. Dizzily, he swayed down close to the floor, back protesting the movement, knees stinging at the shifting pressure.

“Such a filthy mouth. But then again, you’re a filthy person.” Exalted stood up, Soren with them, and 02 bit down angry, frightened tears, his fatigue and the pain leaving him vulnerable to the traitorous habits of his own body. “We’ll need to fix all of that, and fortunately one of those will be remedied quicker than the other. Back down to the basement, come pet.”

02 tried to stand. He genuinely did. He made three attempts before Exalted simply ordered, “Crawl.”

It was humiliating. It was painful. 02 couldn’t tell if it was supposed to be a mercy or not, and he hated that. He scooted down the stairs butt first like a goddamn toddler, embarrassed and exhausted, and bit back relieved tears when he finally got to the basement bathroom and saw thin wafts of steam coming from the shower Exalted had turned on. Not burning, not freezing.

“Soap and shampoo thoroughly,” Exalted ordered, Soren pressed up to their side with their arm around his waist, looking like a doll, an angel, some sort of forest deity all dressed in draping cream and white and gold. Worried. Pitying. “More than once, if you need to.”

02 bit down hard enough his teeth ground together. ‘Yes Exalted’ was the right answer, but he really wanted to tell them to fuck off again.

But he was so tired.

Ultimately, they didn’t wait for a response, simply strode past him with Soren trailing after them, sending 02 a final, nervous glance before shutting the door behind him. 

The warm water felt so good. So stupidly, mercifully good. The Processors hadn’t let him have this; a gift for pets that kept their mouths shut. Mike hadn’t cared, but if 02 took too long he’d be punished for wasting hot water.

Exalted was wealthy, with a water heater the size of a tank in their utility room, and had specifically told 02 to wash twice.

He almost fell asleep, lying in the tub, warm water seeping into his skin and aching joints, dirt and blood sifting down, over, past him and into the drain. He let the spray lull him until he finally felt strong enough to stand, albeit on shaking legs, and he set to actually cleaning himself.

He guessed the fact that he’d been given hair-growth shampoo and conditioner made sense, given Soren and Exalted’s hair. Still weird though. He wondered, as he worked it to a lather, if he’d be able to read things much, now. Mike had let him. Made him, really, doing that stupid fucking job for him. Would Exalted care?

He’d keep his mouth shut about it until Exalted brought it up. And if Exalted didn’t bring it up, it was their own damn fault if they didn’t want him to. He’d read as much as he fucking wanted.

He didn’t know how much later it was when he finally felt, really and truly, all the way clean. He also didn’t give a rat’s ass. He was warm and clean and it felt nice, and everything out that door was going to be painful. He took his time drying off, and when he limped out the door he stumbled backwards, then down onto his ass. Exalted was right there, walking towards him with terrifying timing.

“Come on then, mutt,” Exalted said, staring down their nose, and there was Soren, right on their heels. “Put these on,” they said, tossing a pair of dark orange sweatpants at him. “Into your box.”

--

Soren watched Ren lock 02’s box anxiously. He’d never seen this side of Ren before. He honestly hadn’t believed they could be like this. When they turned back to him he stared up at their eyes anxiously, one hand on his collar and the other on his wrist.

“Easy, pet,” Ren shushed, caressing his cheek. He leaned into it, needing their comfort so badly. Everything with 02 was scary and new and unfamiliar but he knew this, knew the gentle touch of their palm and the way they soothed him down from his worries. “Just the bed for you. I won’t put you in a box, you’re not bad for me, easy Soren, you’re fine.”

Soren bit his lip.

“Oh, pet, what is it? What do you want to say?”

“Just, um. At my facility,” Soren started softly, eyes down, “they kennel trained us. It--It wouldn’t be a punishment for me, Exalted. I, like my box. It’s comforting.”

Ren was quiet a moment, and Soren risked a glance up. They seemed surprised. Then they smiled, and kissed Soren, and he kissed back because he needed this touch.

“What a good boy you are,” Ren praised, warming Soren. “Such a good boy for telling me. I had no idea you liked your box.”

“I, I like the bed too, Exalted,” Soren said eagerly. “I just, it wouldn’t be a punishment for me, I guess it would kind of be like a rare treat?” Soren hoped he was making sense.

“I understand.” Soren relaxed. “You’re so good for saying so. Would you like to sleep in it tonight? Maybe keep 02 company?”

Soren bit his lip and nodded. That sounded wonderful. A chance to talk, and the familiar safety of his box while everything else was being chaotic and confusing and scary. He let Ren lead him over and helped them move 02’s box to the ground, wincing a little when he heard 02 squeak, and then climbed into his own box, feeling his body settle the moment he laid down.

“Goodnight, my precious bird,” Ren said, muffled through the wood, and Soren smiled into the pitch blackness.

“Sleep well, Honored One.”

It wasn’t long after Ren left that 02 spoke. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“Oh, I wasn’t lying. I really was kennel trained,” Soren assured, subtly shifting and feeling the close walls of his box, taking comfort in how little he could move. It was like being in a blanket burrito, only sorta better and very dark. “But we don’t have to talk; I know you’re tired.”

“I meant--everything. The cocksucking and for during dinner. Thank you, I guess, you didn’t have to, and I, fuck, appreciate it?”

Soren frowned, trying to think of what happened during dinner. Mostly he’d just desperately tried to ignore 02 and act like everything was normal, which had worked until they finished eating, and then he had to go get a plate for 02 and Ren had ignored him in favor of staring at 02, which they’d never done before! He touched his collar, reminding himself that this jealousy was absurd and dumb. Not to mention, Ren was being very harsh on 02, so Soren didn’t even have anything to be jealous of! More than anything, he should be worried about 02 (and he was, oh he was.)

“You’re welcome,” he said softly.

“Must be hard,” 02 said, “having a fucking freakshow like that for an owner.”

Soren felt rage flare up, replacing his confusion and anxiety. “Don’t call them that!” he snapped. “Ren is wonderful and treats me very well; you’re just a loudmouth!” That was--mean. That was rude, and Soren shouldn’t have said that. “You’ll see,” he tacked on, quieter, guilty, “they’re very kind. They’ll be kind to you, too, once you stop trying to fight them.”

“Shit, you actually believe that.”

Soren sighed and rolled onto his side, away from 02. “Of course I do. This is the first time I’ve ever seen them hurt anyone.” Soren hugged his arms and let the smothering blackness comfort him. “You’ll see. They’re reliable; soon enough you’ll believe them too.”

“I doubt it,” 02 said, quieter as well, now. “But thanks.”

Soren fell asleep with surprising ease. Given everything.

--

Ren listened to their pets talk, and spent a mild moment attempting to determine if Soren fell asleep first or not. Unable to see either of them, it was a coin toss, and no need to imagine up reasons to punish their new plaything when there would be plenty of real, solid reasons to do so, soon.

They pulled Soren from his box in the morning and kissed him, slow and sweet and much longer than they normally would. “Go shower and change, pet. You smell like old newspaper.”

Soren giggled with a “yes Exalted” before he rushed off, only glancing back once with a worried lip and look as Ren flipped the hatch on 02’s box. They helped him onto his feet, admiring the bruises they’d left, and turned his head this way and that, titillated by the glower he gave them.

“Since Soren is busy and I need to get dressed for the day, why don’t you go make breakfast for us, mm mutt?”

They watched his internal struggle, the little gears of his maggot brain churning slowly, but only briefly this time. Turned out he wasn’t interested in getting a repeat of last night this early in the morning. Ren went back up to their room, getting dressed and doing their hair and makeup just so before popping by Soren’s room and helping him with his jewelry. They entered the kitchen together, and 02 looked at Ren apprehensively.

They ate, they phoned their work to let them know that they’d be taking the day off, they let Soren feed 02, and then they took both their pets into the living room and pulled out one of the two nifty little tools they’d stowed in their skirt pocket, but kept it hidden in their palm just yet.

“Now, 02,” Ren started, seated on the couch with Soren leaning preciously against their side, 02 kneeling at their feet, “I’m going to teach you a lesson; it is up to you whether you would like help being good during this lesson.” Ren stretched the gag between their hands, like they were presenting him with a fine necklace and balancing it on their fingers for maximum appeal. 

He was familiar with this tool. He very, very evidently hated it. His glare was nothing shy of delectable, and oh, they’d drool if it wasn’t unseemly. They let the moment drag out, staring with a faintly pleasant expression at the storming boy, Soren a warmth at their side. 02 said nothing, did nothing, but if he was playing the waiting game, his knees would ache long before Ren got bored.

Slowly, with clear evidence that it caused an immense blow to his stubborn pride, loathing radiating from him like a fire on a cold night, 02 lifted up on his knees, leaned forward, opened his mouth, and bit down on the center of the gag.

“Good boy,” Ren praised immediately, caressing his face as they fastened the straps and delighting in how he couldn’t stop himself from shivering at the kind touch, even as they gagged him. “See? You’re learning already.”

They pushed his shoulder gently and he sank back down onto his knees, and they wrapped an arm around Soren, tucking him into their side sweetly. “Now, 02. You are stubborn and you are vile, but those are only temporary afflictions, and you will be cured of them. I give you a week, maybe a week and a half before I have cleaned you of these deformities,” 02 made an offended noise, but given that he couldn’t talk, Ren kept going, “Maybe two if you’re really stubborn, and I have every intention of detailing to you, right now, exactly how that will happen.

“You see, 02, there are four factors to making a good slave: fear, obedience, stress, and loyalty.

“Fear is generated by pain, yes, but far more than that, fear is generated by inconsistency. A person can go through immense pain, but if that pain is consistent, reliably given, and tracked onto preconceived patterns, that person will adjust. Their mind will adapt, and the fear will simmer to a low boil, regardless of the intensity of pain. But place someone in a situation where nothing is patterned, nothing is sensible, and there is no consistency? They will be afraid no matter the pain or lack thereof. This is why Soren has been so frightened, since your arrival.” They smiled at Soren, nudging his chin up with their forefinger and softening at his nervous returning smile.

“You being here has thrown a wrench in our routine, and I’m behaving differently than he’s seen before. But worry not,” Ren said, their voice going low and soft as they spoke to Soren specifically, petting his hair out of his face, “You’ll adjust soon, my sweet.”

They turned their attention back to 02, who seemed befuddled, angry, frightened, but still attentive. Good. “Fear is what you currently have the most of. You are terrified of me, and it warps itself into anger, which is why you lash out the way you do.” Another noise of protest, but still, Ren didn’t care. “You are in a new environment, I am nothing like anyone or anything you have experienced before, you don’t know what to expect. Soon, you will. You will always have the memories of the pain that I can and will give you, so your fear will never truly disappear, but fear is best kept at a moderate level, middling of the four.

“Obedience is generated by fear and respect. This is why you behave physically, even though you mouth off. You do not respect me yet, because you are used to an owner who does not command respect. You only fear me, fear the Processors that you know you can be sent back to anytime your owner’s dissatisfaction creeps too high.” Both pets tensed at that, and Ren felt a giddy little shiver at it. “Obedience should be kept the highest of the four traits, but through a combination of moderate fear and high respect. It is obedience that lowers pain, causing a decrease in fear and stress, so there’s a positive cycle there.

“You are very obedient, which is good. It’ll keep you conscious long enough to learn how to keep your mouth shut. But over the next week or so, you will incrementally begin to take after Soren, who obeys me because he adores me, first and foremost, with the pain of the Processors a long-distant memory that barely factors anymore.

“Stress is generated by inconsistency, yes, but primarily it is generated by pain. Your body’s threshold can be expanded, but only by so much. People who are stressed make more mistakes, suffer from a higher number of physical afflictions that are more intense than in others, and their bodies do not process food or rest properly, and can directly increase acting out. Stress should be kept lowest of the four, as its presence has no particular benefits but many drawbacks.

“Stress and fear also directly impact each other, which one might assume since they are caused by the same factors. A rise in fear will be inevitably followed by stress, and an increase of stress will naturally be accompanied by heightened fear. However, stress is significantly easier to keep low, since pain only needs to happen with disobedience, but there will always be some inconsistencies in life, due to the fact that a lack of variety is terribly understimulating.

“Loyalty is generated through trust. Trust is generated by consistency and kindness, so we are once again presented with positive cycles. Loyalty should be kept moderately-high, not as important as obedience, but far more important than fear. You are still too new to understand that I am reliable, that I am trustworthy, but it is when I get this fact through your thick little skull that everything will fall into place for you.”

“In the coming days, I will hurt you, but it will be to fix you. I will hurt you when you disobey, every time you disobey, and only when you disobey. You will adjust, adapt, quicker than you believe yourself capable, than your fear currently allows you to believe. You will settle, and with the kindness that comes due to your newfound obedience you will feel your stress lessen and your opinion of me rise, leading to respect, trust, loyalty, and continued obedience.”

Ren gripped 02 by the chin with their free hand, making sure he was paying extra attention to this part. “And every time a change happens inside you, every step forward you make, every ounce of progress, you will remember this lesson, and you will know that I am right.”

They leaned back with satisfaction. “I only want a plaything, 02.” They smiled at him. “This doesn’t have to hurt.” 

But it would.

Next

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 45

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43 || CHAPTER 44

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4k // 4.4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- note for this chapter: just extra super fluff for this chapter. soo enjoy? i hope you like it haha! also, i know the song she sings comes out a year later buuuut yea, whatever lol! a few more cute fluff chapters before drama happens sooo yea. i hope you guys like it. i know not many ppl read this anymore and its okay. just know i love you guys for being loyal and reading this story after 45 chapters. your comments and reblogs and likes and asks make me so so so happy i cant explain! keep sending ideas youd like to read too :)

only one request for this chapter but its fluff so :P

Chapter 45 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

I felt myself waking up slowly but kept my eyes closed. My lips curled slightly when I heard my boyfriend’s voice from the shower and I forced myself to open my eyes. I sat up in bed and stretched but when I pushed the covers off of me, I felt a shiver run up my spine despite the fact that it was the end of june and that it was most likely very warm outside. I put my feet off the bed and moved my toes on the carpet before breathing in and getting up. The door was ajar and the closer I got, the better I could hear Niall sing. I pushed on the door slightly and leaned against the door frame, listening to his voice as the steam hit my skin and warmed me.

I had never felt so happy in my entire life with someone and even after all these months, I could barely believe we were dating. I crossed my arms on my chest and leaned my head on the frame too, staring at my boyfriend singing and dancing in the shower. After a while he turned to me and saw me staring at him. He smiled back and made a quick head movement but I shook my head slightly. He rolled his eyes with a smile and opened the glass door. His hair was full of foam and he looked cuter than ever, making me nibble on my bottom lip despite myself.

“Please?” he asked, raising his eyebrows and making me roll my eyes.

I took a few steps closer, letting my arms fall on each side of my body, and his lips curled more at my sight. When he was finally able to reach me, he grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me his way, making me chuckle.

“No no, I took a shower last night remember?”

He smirked and raised his eyebrows at me, not letting go. “And then I fucked your brains out, remember?” he replied in a smartass tone. “Come on, you smell like good sex and sweat.”

I laughed at his words and let him pull me with him. He closed the door behind me and I held my breath as the warm water fell on me and soaked my shirt and panties. Niall smiled more and quickly moved his head back right under the stream to rinse his hair. I stared at his naked body as he closed his eyes, running his hand through his hair to make sure all the soap was gone.

Without thinking, I ran my hands on his wet chest and quickly, he moved his head up again and opened his eyes, bending down to reach my smile with his. The kiss was gentle and soft and I felt water drops fall from his hair to my cheek. A wave of well-being washed over me and I pressed my hands more on his chest.

“What were you singing?” I asked, tilting my chin up.

“Something I wrote. I’ll sing it to you when it’s done.”

I smiled and licked my lips, staring at him some more. I felt like Niall hadn’t written anything in months and I knew he was missing it. I loved watching and listening to him when he was playing guitar, or when he was sitting in front of the piano, but it hadn’t happened much until very recently. He was not the type to share and I respected that, but I was curious and interested in everything that made him happy.

“Happy Birthday petal.” he whispered against my mouth. “How does it feel to date a younger man like me?”

I laughed against his mouth and felt his lips curl against mine.

“Feels amazing.” I admitted, still amused. “Better than yesterday, for sure.”

“But not as good as tomorrow, yea, I know.”

I laughed more and felt his hands slip under my drenched shirt, reaching under my breasts slowly. I bit my bottom lip as he stared at me before kissing me again but deeper this time. I could feel my whole body throb until his thumbs brushed under my breasts. I quickly held my breath again, my heartbeats accelerating, but he just slid his hands back down to my waist.

“Mm, come on darling, take a shower, i’ll go prepare something while you do.”

“Nooo!” I complained when he took a step back. “You can’t turn me on and then leave me here alone.”

He laughed and shook his head, pushing the glass door of the shower again and getting out.

“Such a horny girl.” he just let out, clearly amused by my behavior.

I sent him puppy eyes but he just shook his head and closed the door, trapping me in the shower before blowing me a kiss and leaving.

I grimaced but decided to wash my hair and body quickly after getting undressed and when I finally got out of the shower, I grabbed a fluffy towel only to realize it was warm and I quickly wrapped it around me.

“Thanks for putting it in the dryer.” I let out with a smile when I walked back into our bedroom. “You’re perfect.”

He had put sweatpants and a t-shirt back on and I stared at his back as I tried to find a similar outfit in one of his drawers. With a sigh, I took my towel off and dressed up before rubbing the towel in my hair to dry it more. After a few minutes, he turned around and sent me a fond smile and I smiled back until he handed me something.

“This is one of your gifts.” He explained, holding out a box about as large as a book, wrapped in silver and pink paper. “The personal one.”

I felt my heart skip a few beats inside my chest and smiled as big as possible, pressing my lips together. These were the gifts coming from Niall that I preferred. Of course, I enjoyed the trips, the spa days, the jewels and the activities he gave but the gifts with a meaning meant a million times more and Niall always knew exactly what would make me happy. He gave me things I didn’t even know I needed before.

I licked my lips and grabbed it, unwrapping it very slowly as he stared at my fingers. I let the paper fall on the floor when I noticed an old picture of us in a frame. It was the one I told him to bring on his trip and my lips curled more but i noticed something at the bottom and frowned, moving the frame up to have a better look. My lips parted when I noticed what it was and I looked up in his eyes. It was a card that was part of a game Lottie had brought at the lodge. I remembered picking up that card from the “Kiss & Tell” game before rushing to the bathroom and locking myself in it. I hadn’t told anyone what was on the card except Niall. We had been laying in the dark and I had showing him right before telling him it was him I wanted to kiss, but I didn’t have the guts to. I looked down again at the card and read the words. “Kiss the person you love the most in the room.”

“I kept it and I didn’t know why. It was in my wallet all this time. I remember wondering how I would have felt if you had kissed me instead of Harry after picking up that card, you know?” he shrugged and looked down at it. “That night you said you loved me more than anyone else in the world and I said I did too. I didn’t understand back then why it was so important for me but now I do.”

He took a step closer and brought his hands to my waist, waiting until I looked up in his eyes again.

“When we fought a few months ago after my trip, I left you here to get drunk. We both went to bed mad, or at least not on good terms, and I realized how wrong it was. I want to keep this frame in our room, right next to the bed, so every time we fight or argue, we always work things out here before falling asleep. I will always kiss the person I love the most right before I fall asleep. Every single night. I promise.”

I felt myself tear up and swallowed the lump in my throat. I couldn’t talk, I knew that my voice would crack, and without thinking, I crushed my mouth against his, It hurt slightly but he didn’t say anything. He just pulled me closer and deepened the kiss. He tasted so fucking good and I felt tears fall down my face as we kept on kissing for I don’t know how long. When he pulled away, I kept my eyes closed and brushed my lips against his.

“When you said you were romantic I thought you were the type, you know, to give flowers and stuff.”

He laughed and moved his upper body back to look in my eyes.

“There’s a bouquet waiting for you int he kitchen.”

This time, i’m the one who laughed. I turned around and put the frame next to the bed on the small table and sighed as I looked at our younger faces on the picture. I wanted this house to be full of pictures of us, whether they were recent or old.

“Come, let’s go bake that cake of yours.”

I turned back to him with a frown and tilted my head.

“I gotta bake my own birthday cake?”

He laughed and grabbed my hand, pulling me with him until the kitchen and I noticed all the ingredients already out along with a big bouquets of white and purple lilacs placed in the middle of the table.

“The florist said it looked ridiculous and tried to convince me to add other flowers but I knew that’s what you wanted.” he pointed out. “Just in case though, there’s also a bouquet of roses in the living room.”

I smiled more and chuckled, loving the fact that he knew me so well, and took a step closer to him to kiss his lips.

“Aaaand maybe a few tulips next to the piano.” he grimaced before I brushed my lips on his jaw.

“How are you so perfect?”

He searched for my mouth with his and kissed me deeply again. I was not even surprised that his kisses still made butterflies hit the inside of my stomach, even after so many months. I knew it would always be like that.

“Okay, come on now, let’s bake that cake yea?” he said a little louder, getting out of my embrace and turning around to go grab the flour. “We got up late and we have a busy evening and an even busier night!”

“Niall, I said I didn’t want anything big.” I complained with a grimace, letting my head fall back on my shoulders.

“I promise on my life you’re gonna have fun! It’s just a few hours with our friends, and then i’m bringing you somewhere else just the two of us.”

I wanted to be annoyed but the truth was, I was touched and very very curious. I walked up to him as he was cracking an egg, letting it fall in a bowl and I sighed low of happiness.

“Thank you, Niall.”

He turned his head quickly to peck my lips with a light sound and I chuckled.

“Come on, read the recipe out loud will you?”

Quickly, we made the cake mix and ended up having a bit more difficulty working on the icing. I ended up a bit annoyed and searched through his fridge, taking the cream cheese out and putting it on the counter.

“We’ll just prepare the easiest icing ever and pretend we’re amazing bakers, how’s that?”

He laughed and we started working on it in silence right after putting the mix in the oven.

“Just a bit of milk.” I specified. “Do you have vanilla?”

I watched him combine everything in a bowl as I nibbled my bottom lip and added icing sugar slowly to the mix.

“You know, we’re actually a good team.” I pointed out.

I watched him dip his finger in the icing and sticking his tongue out to get a taste.

“Heyy, what about me?” I frowned jokingly before he dipped an other finger in it and wiped the icing on my cheek, making me groan.

“Come here.”

He pulled me closer and licked my cheek, making a shiver run up my spine at the contact of his tongue with my skin.

“You’re right, it tastes amazing, we’re a good team.” he admitted low. “Not just for baking.”

He took the icing again, taking more of it with his finger and putting it on my neck. I held my breath as his tongue ran on my skin and quivered again in his arms.

“I just took a shower, remember?”

“Oh shut up.” he let out, making me laugh, as he grabbed my waist and pulled me closer.

“Can I get a taste, too?”

Without answering, he brought his lips against mine and kissed me deeply but very slowly.  I closed my eyes, running my hand in his hair and letting a moan escape my lips. He swallowed it and I felt his fingers slip slightly under my shirt, on the skin of my back. I laughed against his mouth when he broke the kiss and shook my head.

“I meant you know, really taste.”

“Mmhm.” he shrugged, pulling away and taking the icing bowl. “I know that’s what you meant, but you can’t taste your cake before tonight.”

“But-”

“Don’t argue!” he cut me with a smirk. “Go in the living room, i’ll join you, okay?”

I groaned and let my feet rub on the wood floor in an annoying noise as a sign of protestation. It’s only when I reached the living room that my lips curled back again. There was a literal fort made with blankets and cushions and I let out a chuckle of amazement.

“Niall?” I asked loud enough for him to hear.

“Sit down! I’m coming!”

I chuckled and got on my knees, pushing the blanket that acted as a door only to sit on the tiny mattress. I couldn’t believe he had taken the time to make a fort in his own living room and I started wondering how long it took him to plan that. He had placed his tablet on the side and when he joined me, I frowned slightly.

“Why did you bring this?” I asked, pointing it right before a smile reappeared on my face.

He handed me a bowl of ice cream and I started jumping slightly on my ass while still sitting.

“Don’t move too much, it’s not that solid.” he laughed a bit. “I thought we could watch a movie together?”

I sent him a fond smile and tilted my head again before nodding very slowly.

“Great! So I bought your favorite ice cream but added candies, chocolate syrup and caramel, the way you like it.”

“Thank you, Nee.” I let out as he sat in front of me. I moved my upper body closer to kiss him. “Thank you so fucking much.” I kissed him again. “Thank you.” Again. “Thank you.” And again.

“You also get to pick the movie.” he let out with a smile, kissing me back. “We’ll watch anything you want. It’s your day.”

I sat back and looked at him with a smirk, raising my eyebrows as his face changed.

“Now you’re scaring me.” he admitted as I laughed, grabbing his tablet. “Wait what are you doing? Isn’t the movie you want to watch on netflix?”

I held his tablet against me and raised my eyebrows at him again.

“Do you promise we’ll watch whatever I want?”

It took him a few seconds but he finally nodded.

“I promise.”

                                                     —

The bar was loud and crowed but we quickly found our friends waiting for us, sitting a bit further with beer and sangria pitchers. I smiled more, a bit excited, and everyone greeted us, telling me ‘happy birthday’ for the first time in person on that day. Louis was the last one and he got up to wrap his arms around me before I hugged him back.

“Happy birthday princess.” he whispered after kissing one of my cheeks and pulling me closer. “I hope your day is perfect, that’s what you deserve.”

I laughed when we pulled away and bit on my bottom lip.

“It is, I have the perfect boyfriend and he made this day perfect.”

We sat down and I felt Niall’s hand slide on my thigh. I quickly put my hand over his and intertwined our fingers, squeezing them hard.

“What did she make you watch?” Louis asked with a smirk. “Back To The Future again?”

Niall’s smile fell and he rolled his eyes, making Louis laugh.

“Which one?”

“Louis, don’t even ask.” Niall argued, shaking his head and making me smile more.

“We didn’t watch Back To The Future.” I pointed out, leaning on the table to get closer to Louis. “I made him watch This Is Us.”

Louis’ eyes moved from me to Niall then back at me and finally on Niall before he burst into laughter, making Niall growl next to me. I squeezed his fingers tighter but I couldn’t help the smile that spread on my face.

“How was it, Neil? To watch a movie with you in it with your girlfriend by your side?” Louis teased.

Niall raised his eyebrows and nose up as he leaned one of his elbow on the table, staring in his friend’s eyes.

“The worst was actually looking at you for an hour and a half, Tommo.”

Louis laughed again and shrugged.

“Guess you’re cursed, mate, because here I am again!”

I laughed and rolled my eyes at their banter until Louis grabbed a glass and poured me sangria. Niall did the same for himself with beer and he finally sighed, the left corner of his lips raising up.

“You know, I can’t really blame her though.” Niall joked. “The girl enjoys looking at me, I just give her what she needs.”

“Oh shut up.” I let out, making him laugh more. “Now what’s so special about tonight? Why are we here anyway?”

I glanced around before meeting Louis’ eyes and he smirked, raising his eyebrows. I didn’t like it and frowned, suddenly a bit scared of what was to come. Julie chuckled and it caught my attention, making me look at her.

“It’s karaoke night.” she explained with a sigh but also a smile on her lips. “And apparently, we’re all going to sing.”

I felt suddenly extremely nervous and without realizing it, I squeezed my boyfriend’s fingers hard between mine.

“Ouch, darling, watch the fingers, they’re important.” he chuckled. “For music and for… you know.. pleasure.”

“Niall.” I whispered, looking down at our hands together. “You know I hate being on a scene. I don’t like attention.”

“You did it a few years ago and you had fun.”

I sent him an annoyed look and sighed, raising my nose up in a grimace. He was right, I had sang a song a while ago at a karaoke night and we always had a lot of fun doing those in someone’s living room, but in public it was a bit different. I was already a bit shy around my friends, so to think i would do it in front of a bunch of strangers made it even worse.

“Here.” Louis let out, pushing the sangria pitcher closer. “Drink up. I’ll go first.”

I swallowed the whole glass in front of me and filled it out again as I watched Louis get on stage and grab a microphone.

“Here’s one of the best written songs in the whole world.” he only explained as the music started.

I held my breath and smiled when I recognized the oasis song and mouthed it with him.

“So Sally can wait, she knows it’s too late as she’s walking on by My soul slides away, but don’t look back in anger I heard you say.”

When he was done and the music stopped, we all got up and started clapping. Liam even whistled loud and I let out a ‘woohoo!“ when he got off stage. He hugged me and bent down to whisper in my ear.

“Do it now, it’s worth it.”

I quickly nodded and he moved away. He extended his hand and I slapped in it before bumping my fist against his.

“Come on, you can do it.” he added as I sent him a smile.

I turned to Niall and I smiled without thinking. I watched him push his glasses on his nose and a bunch of memories of us came back to my mind. I felt so lucky to have him in my life and I chuckled.

“Just for you.”

I didn’t wait for his answer and ran up the stairs as a guy walked up to me to ask me which song I wanted to sing. I told him and he chuckled before nodding and finally left after handing me the microphone.

“I dedicate this to my best friend in the whole wide world.”

The first notes started and I kept my gaze on Niall and when I started singing, I saw him start laughing hard, his mouth wide open. He let his head fall back and clapped in his hands a few times to encourage me.

“Right from the start, couldn’t pull us apart, it just works Nobody else ever gets me as well on this earth Like rock and roll, Marshall’s and telly’s Mac and cheese, PB’s and jellies Some things are better together, and that’s you and me-e

Dude, I love you, bro, I love you Man, I love you You’re my brother from another, 'nother mother You are my favorite, I’m not ashamed to admit Cause I do, dude, I do Dude, I love you, bro, I love you Man, I love you You’re my homie, no one knows me like you know me Like the sun and the moon, all the best things comes in two What would I do without a friend like you?

W-w-w-w-what would I do? Without a friend like you W-w-w-w-what would I do? Without a friend like you?”

I smiled as I sang when I noticed all my friends were standing up and dancing together and when the song stopped, I bowed down quickly and ran back to my friends without really giving them any attention. Niall bent down slightly, his arms open, and I ran to him.. He picked me up for a few seconds and put me back down before kissing me hard, laughing against my lips.

“Good song. Thank you.” he whispered, pulling away. “Now listen to mine, yea?”

I nodded and he grabbed my hand before walking to the stage. When he was far enough, my hand slipped out of his and I just stared at him as he grabbed the microphone. He cleared his throat and licked his lips, making my heart melt in my chest. I sat down but remained on the edge of my chair as he talked.

“For the love of my life.”

It took me literally one note to recognize the song and I held my breath as I felt myself tense. I tried to remember all the words of the song and something twisted in my stomach.

“You’re a falling star, you’re the get away car You��re the line in the sand when I go too far You’re the swimming pool on an August day And you’re the perfect thing to see

And you play it coy, but it’s kinda cute Oh, when you smile at me you know exactly what you do Baby, don’t pretend that you don’t know it’s true 'Cause you can see it when I look at you

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times It’s you, it’s you; you make me sing You’re every line, you’re every word, you’re everything”

I don’t know why but slowly, I got up and walked closer to the scene as we stared at each other. Was it possible for this love story to last forever? Could this love we felt for each other never fade away or die?

“You’re a carousel, you’re a wishing well And you light me up when you ring my bell You’re a mystery, you’re from outer space You’re my every minute of my everyday

And I can’t believe, uh, that I’m your man And I get to kiss you, baby, just because I can Whatever comes our way, oh, we’ll see it through And you know that’s what our love can do

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times It’s you, it’s you; you make me sing You’re every line, you’re every word, you’re everything

So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times It’s you, it’s you; you make me sing You’re every line, you’re every word, you’re everything You’re every song, and I sing along Cause you’re my everything Yeah, yeah

So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la So, la, la, la, la, la, la-la-la, la-la-la”

I didn’t scream when he was done but I heard all our friends do it. He jumped off the stage and cupped my face the way he had done it after playing the song he had written for me and when his wet lips met mine, my eyes fluttered close.

“It’s been six moths but I love you as much as I did back then, maybe even more.” he whispered, kissing me deeply again. “Definitely more.”

“Thank you, Niall.” I breathed out, swallowing hard as I felt myself tear up for the second time that day. “This day is perfect.”

“This day is not over.” he added, smiling more, the palms of his hands warming my already burning cheeks. “Happy birthday Olivia, I love you.”

[disorganisedpilot]

captains log 31-01/03-04/21

woke up mid afternoon to find that someone had vagued about me on tumblr about something i didnt even say . a whole load of drama and i stand by what i said and i was in the right. but im still nervous and my paranoia is Activated. my paranoia has been on high alert over seemingly unrelated things all day and i’m p sure thats why

went through a load of my social medias and have started to delete things. i want to feel safe

got up at around 15:00. navy velvet trousers, blue and white striped shirt, black/grey/white check tie, lilac cardigan, gold moon and star earrings

finished off my last porridge with golden syrup for breakfast. the golden syrup is communal bc none of us know who bought it and we all insist it wasn’t us hfdskjfhds. drank a glass of water, read some of my book

drank a pot of coffee, wrote a to-do list and started work

had a shower. using cheapo apple shampoo now, it takes quite a bit to lather up but i love apple smells and it was only 85p lol. finished off the orange and bergamot soap i got from a hotel in oxford i think

worked for a bit more

had ‘lunch’ - rice that i stole from my flatmate (she won’t mind, but i’ll buy her a new bag once i’m not like. struggling to pay rent hdskjfs), soy sauce, peas and sweetcorn. the peas and sweetcorn belonged to my old flatmate who left but they’ve been left in the freezer and it’s helping me not starve. drank a glass of water and read some more of my book

worked. it’s coming along too slowly. i have extensions but it’s killing me i hate this. i just can’t focus

did the ironing

made a shopping list without freaking out even once, managed to do it completely calmly and didn’t end up surrounded by bits of paper wringing my hands lol. bought bread, cheese, an orange, more porridge, a box of oatcakes, and some teaspoons from the reduced section. im sick of having to steal my flatmate’s teaspoon and my old flatmates stole all mine when i was living in the chaplaincy. overall it came to under £5 so im counting that a win

made a salad for tea - orange and spinach with olive oil and black pepper. the olive oil was communal, and im closer to finishing off the massive bag of spinach i have. had some cheese and oatcakes afterwards. drank another glass of water . feel like the epitome of health lmao 

didnt get enough done today and im so paranoid and anxious it feels like i’ll only be okay if i dont think at all. i think that people are following me and watching me and building profiles on me and that [x thing that i cant even talk about because if i talk about it it might happen] is going to happen and i keep remembering things that have happened that make it a possibility and it makes me want to just kill myself so i dont have to deal with the fear and waiting anymore. 

but oh well. i survived another day, i ate well, i breathed, i existed in silence, i listened to music, i read a book, i did some work. if i think about anything beyond the present i’ll go insane