#with the awful symptoms and hormones on top?

[lilislegacy]

*future leo and piper playing headbands*

piper: ok here’s your hint: you’re scared of this

leo: annabeth

piper: no. like actually terrified

leo: annabeth when she’s angry

piper: no no, i mean, like… every time you see this, you start trembling and crying and are too paralyzed by fear to even make jokes

leo: annabeth when she’s pregnant

piper: leo, be serious

leo: i’ve literally never been more serious

[five-bi-five-mind]

Could you please do a part 2 for New Additions where there is more smut that actually results in a baby (or twins because it runs in the family). I feel like Wanda would be obsessed with the idea that the reader is carrying their child! And you could pick the gender. (I would love to see the Twins reaction to finding out that their gonna have a sibling)?

Another New Addition

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff & Smut

Words: 5.6k+

Summary: It finally happened, you were pregnant and growing your family that you now shared with Wanda. However, pregnancy was a little rough on you. Wanting to take care of you, and also absolutely adoring the way you were glowing from being pregnant with her child, Wanda had a plan. She was going to pamper you all night long.

Warnings: lots of pregnancy talk; pregnancy sex I guess? Bathtub sex, clit play, nipple play, top!Wanda but she's topping from the bottom lol, bottom!r, strap-on (r receiving); enchanted strap, cum-filled strap, strap riding, thigh riding, aftercare

A/N: this isn’t quite what the prompt is asking for but… still gonna use it to post this part two. Also, full disclosure I’m not sure what a power bottom is so can someone please tell me if that’s how I wrote Wanda to fix my warnings lol

New Addition (Part 1)

This whole pregnancy thing wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Then again, you knew it wasn’t going to be some magical journey that television loves to tell you it is.

One might think, though, if this pregnancy was happening because of your magical soon-to-be wife then it wouldn’t be so difficult sometimes. It wasn’t always awful, but you also were barely four months pregnant and already feeling ready for this kid to come out. There was still a long way to go and today was a particularly hard day for you.

What people don’t really talk about, outside of morning sickness, in this part of a pregnancy are the other random symptoms. For instance, you were just sore all time, in random places. Your back would ache, or your whole body, or sometimes just your legs. It depended on the day. And the hormones raging through your body right now… God, those fucking hormones caused the weirdest shifts in your mood. You cried at everything.

It was a little humiliating when you’d sit down and watch a silly Pixar movie with the boys and end up sobbing your eyes out at every happy ending. The boys, being as sweet and perfect as always, would wrap their little arms around you and tell you everything was already right. They had no way of understanding that it was just your body wreaking havoc on your emotions. What was worse was the more they tried to console you, the sweeter you found it, and the harder you cried. 

It was always Wanda who would end the tears. Seeing her children wrapped around either side of you, she just somehow knew that was making it harder for you to stop. She’d always say just the right thing to calm her boys’ sweet, but protective nature towards you. 

“She’s okay, my loves,” Wanda would coo at them. “But I can take good care of her now, hm?” It always seemed like it was that promise of care that would reassure them you’d be okay if they untangled themselves from you. And each time, Wanda would take your hand and pull you out of the living room and into your now shared bedroom to get you ready for much needed rest. 

That’s another thing people don’t tell you. With all the emotions and changes running rampant in your body you’re just tired all the time. You honestly felt a little guilty with how often you’d take midday naps or go to bed early. Your days were filled with family time with the boys and Wanda if she wasn’t busy. But after these afternoons, you’d be drained. There wasn’t much alone time left for you to give Wanda the attention you worried she was missing.

And she was missing this attention, but she also knew it was temporary. What you were doing for her, carrying her child, was so much more important than a temporary shortage of your attention. Plus, she had her moments with you. Currently, her favorite thing was waking up next to you and sneaking her hands under your shirt to press to your stomach. You had just started showing, even though it wasn’t too much yet. It was still enough for Wanda to be able to feel the difference. Most mornings you’d wake up to her fingertips tracing over your belly, or pressed flat trying to feel a kick. You told her multiple times it was too early for that, but Wanda wasn’t going to miss the opportunity if it were to come soon. 

Even though Wanda cherished these moments of being close to you, she still craved certain other moments of intimacy. It wasn’t like the two of you completely stopped, though. The frequency was just… less. Especially since you started to show. Part of you was a little self conscious about it, even though Wanda continuously reminded you of how beautiful you were each and every day. Part of it was also because your body was just changing and you genuinely were a little more tired lately. It wasn’t that you were avoiding or rejecting Wanda exactly, things were just a bit different now. Wanda understood, she really did. But still, this change in frequency didn’t go unnoticed by her. 

So when a week went by and you two hadn’t really done more than spoon in bed and kiss each other here and there, Wanda was getting a little pent up. Not only that, but the way you just utterly glowed from being pregnant with her child, it was doing something to Wanda that she didn’t expect. She hated that she felt so desperate to have you, especially when she knew this week you had been struggling with some rough pregnancy symptoms, but she just really couldn’t help it. Of course, she would never make you take care of this problem for her or make you feel bad if you said no, but she really really didn’t want you to say no. So, she came up with a little plan. One that made sure you knew you were loved and cared for, while also getting opportunities to be closer to you and touch you in a way she hadn’t all week. 

Wanda had asked you to drop the boys off at a friend’s for the night, claiming she had forgotten something she needed to take care of right away. You, being the kind soul that Wanda knows and loves, gladly said yes and even offered to take them to buy snacks for their big sleepover with their friend. Grateful for more time to prepare and just out of the sheer love she had for you and the way you loved her boys, Wanda made sure to use the extra time to her advantage. 

She was setting up the finishing touches when she heard the front door open and close. An eager grin spread across her face as she heard you call for her and that’s when she knew she needed to wrap up. With a snap of her fingers, candles lit all across the room and she took a moment to soak in what she had done. As she looked around the room, her smile grew. Everything was perfect. There was no doubt in Wanda’s mind that you were going to love it.

After one more quick check that everything was in place, she finally went downstairs to greet you. The minute her eyes fell on your bright smile she couldn’t help herself, she hurried down the stairs to wrap you up into her arms. 

“You’re back!” She exclaimed between kisses she showered across your cheeks. You giggled and wrapped your arms around her waist as she kept kissing you. 

“I was only gone for less than two hours,” you laughed and brushed your nose against hers. “We could’ve waited so you could join us.” 

“Hm, I know,” Wanda pressed a quick kiss to your lips. “But then I wouldn’t have had time to prepare your surprise.” 

“Surprise?” You pulled back to look at Wanda and the way you gave her such a curious, yet excited look, had her heart melting. 

She pulled you in again for another kiss, this one slightly longer and lingering. “Mhm,” she mumbled against your lips. “I’ve spent a lot of time planning tonight.” 

“Oh?” You tried to pull back from the kiss to question her again, but Wanda leaned back in, capturing your lips one more time. “Wanda,” you giggled against her lips as you tried yet again to pull back. “Do I get to see this surprise?”

“Hm?” Wanda blinked, already getting carried away just from kissing you. “Oh, yes! Sorry…” she gave you a sheepish smile and slid her hand into yours. Without hesitation, you let her lead you back upstairs to the bedroom. 

The whole time you followed her, you looked all over, trying to catch a glimpse of this surprise. Wanda looked back at you for a moment as you kept scanning the bedroom, and couldn’t help but smile at how adorable you were being. She shook her head, sometimes your excitement matched her boys. It’s no wonder you three clicked instantly. 

“So…” You were still looking around the bedroom. “Where’s this surprise?” 

“In the bathroom.” Wanda pointed to the door. “Go see for yourself.” 

The confusion in your eyes grew, but you eagerly made your way to the bathroom. Wanda had let you go, no longer guiding you as she watched you reach for the door. She walked up behind you as you opened it and you let out a surprised gasp.

“Wow…” You took in the sight before you. Candles filled the bathroom, leaving you both in a soft muted light. The tub was filled and full of bubbles. Sprinkled in and around the tub were rose petals. It looked like a stereotypical scene out of a romcom. Wanda pulled out her phone for a moment to press a button and suddenly, soft instrumental music filled the room. 

“Do you like it?” Wanda’s arms came to wrap around you from behind. Her lips placed a gentle kiss on your shoulder. “I know this week hasn’t been easy for you. So, I wanted to give you the most relaxing night I possibly can,” Wanda kissed your shoulder again. “And to show just how much I love you.” Her lips pressed to your neck before her hand reached up to turn your head so she could meet your lips. 

“I really like it,” you whispered into the kiss. “And I love you.” 

Wanda stepped back and began to undress. Even after being with her for a while, you still couldn’t help but feel a little flustered from seeing her naked form. She was almost completely undressed and you still just couldn’t take your eyes off her breathtaking form. It wasn’t until she caught you staring and threw a wink your way that you felt your face flush and you instantly turned your attention to your own clothes. 

When the final piece of clothing came off, that was when you realized Wanda had moved closer to you. Her hands reached out and her finger tips traced along the sides of your stomach before she pulled your naked body into hers. Her eyes sparkled as she looked down between you two and at the small baby bump that was starting to show. In her mind, it blew her away just how lucky she was that you were actually willing to do this for her, for the two of you, for the family you now shared with her. There was nothing more beautiful than watching you carry her child. Seeing this physical reminder of that just made her want to worship you for how gorgeous you looked. You, on the other hand, felt slightly self conscious about these small changes. While the fact that you were actually starting to show made it feel more real that your family was growing, you still were unsure of how Wanda felt about these changes to your body. Wanda could sense that unsureness that you had too. But tonight, she hoped she would help put that self-consciousness at ease. 

Wanda’s hand went to cup your cheek. Her loving eyes stared back at you for a moment. Her thumb brushed against your cheek gently and she gave you a soft smile. “You are so,” her voice was thick with emotion as she spoke, “so beautiful.”

You didn’t say anything. Instead, you turned your head to press a kiss to her palm, before moving to press your forehead to hers for a moment. A soft whisper of “I love you” was exchanged between the two of you before Wanda’s hand slipped back into yours and led you to the bath.

Her hand stayed in yours, steadying you even if you didn’t necessarily need it, as you stepped in. The water was the perfect temperature and you had a feeling that was just another magical perk of being with Wanda. When you had eased in and sat down, Wanda motioned for you to sit up and move to the middle so that she could step in and sit behind you. With her legs around either side of you and her arms wrapping around your waist under the water to pull you closer, you ended up with your back completely pressed against Wanda’s bare front. 

Wanda’s hands urged you to lean back onto her and when you did, her hands immediately began to trace along just about any part of your body they could reach. “Are you comfortable?” Her voice was barely above a whisper. Your eyes were closed and your head was resting against her. It wasn’t until she asked you again that you realized just how instantly relaxed you really were. 

“Oh, mhm” you sighed happily. “Very comfortable.”

“Good,” She let out a small laugh as her hands kept slowly tracing your bare skin. 

When her fingers brushed against your nipples, the small gasp that left your lips did not go unnoticed by Wanda. That small reaction alone absolutely floored her. She needed to hear you make that sound again. It had only been a week since she last was able to draw a sound like that from you, but to her a week without having you like this was a long time. So, her fingers circled your nipple, this time with more intention. And, just as she hoped, a small gasp left your lips yet again.

You were surprised by just how sensitive you were. One little touch of your nipples and you were already struggling not to whine and moan? Yes, you could be quite vocal and needy when it came to being with Wanda, but it wasn’t usually this easy for her to get a reaction out of you. Although, you were also well aware that it had been a week since you last let Wanda touch you and your hormones were going crazy. Pregnancy really did a lot to a person’s body and one thing you didn’t expect was to be crazy horny more often than you usually are. And with Wanda… that was usually pretty damn often. Except, your insecurities had started to win here and there this week. Plus you really were struggling just a bit more with fatigue and other not-so-fun pregnancy things. So, those things had kept you from actually acting on some of the things your pregnant, hormonal body was screaming at you for. 

But now, Wanda was being so sweet and romantic. All your insecurities melted away with just the way Wanda looked at you before you two even got into the bath. The bath itself was helping too. All the aches in your body felt like they were distant memories the moment your body was engulfed in the warm water. On top of all that, you had the house and Wanda all to yourself. That was a rare luxury with the boys. Not that it stopped you both from just about anything, you just had to learn how to be more discreet. When were you going to have another chance like this, though? Certainly, nights with just you and Wanda in the house would be increasingly rare once the new baby comes.

Wanda’s hands were now fully cupping your breasts. Your eyes were closed and you squirmed in the tub, pressing your legs together as you felt her roll your nipples between her fingers. You were completely aware of the way her bare body felt against your back and that sensation alone was causing the ache between your legs to get worse.

Without even having to ask, Wanda knew to move her hand where you needed it. Even as she played with one of your nipples, while her other hand was busy spreading your legs as best she could in the tub, her touch was still gentle. You felt utter admiration and love in the way she whispered soft praises as her hand finally cupped your pussy under the water. When you felt two of her fingers press ever so gently to your clit, your body tensed for a second and low whine fell from your lips.

“Shh,” Wanda cooed into your ear from behind. “Let me take care of you.”

With your eyes still squeezed shut, you nodded your head and gave in to the feeling of Wanda playing with your clit and switching between both your nipples. 

Your head fell back on Wanda’s bare shoulder as her fingers kept rubbing against your clit. Your eyes were still closed and your lips were parted as small sighs of pleasure kept falling from them. One of your hands had a grip of the edge of the tub, but the other came up to intertwine with Wanda’s as she moved it from your breasts. The whole time Wanda kept steady pressure on your clit, she was also softly whispering even more praises about how good you were doing. How much she loved seeing you like this. How she couldn’t wait to get you out of the tub so she could see you naked and spread open on her bed. 

The feeling of Wanda’s fingers was intoxicating and it only added to everything to feel her wet, naked body against your back too. You were fully leaning into Wanda as she touched you. Your hips were no longer still and were starting to slowly grind up into the way her fingers were working on your clit. The familiar feeling was building inside you and your small sighs turned into louder whines and moans as she kept up with what she was doing to your clit. 

As you felt yourself build up and up, you couldn’t take it anymore and reached behind you for a fist full of Wanda’s hair. Wanda leaned forward just as you tugged her closer and turned your head. When your lips met in a heated kiss that’s when her fingers picked up the pace. She felt your hand squeeze the one that was still intertwined with hers and she knew you were two seconds away from that edge. When she applied more pressure, your body tensed and you let out a final desperate whine against her lips. Your hand squeezed tighter against hers as you came, but she kept a hold of you, letting you ride out your orgasm. 

After a minute your body completely collapsed back into Wanda and her hand moved from between your legs to wrap around your waist and pull you even closer.

“How are you feeling?” Wanda asked after placing a kiss on your shoulder.

“Good…” You were still trying to catch your breath. “Great actually.”

“Yeah?” You felt Wanda smile against your bare skin and you nodded, your body relaxing even more against her. The two of you stayed like that for a few minutes, relaxing in the still warm water with Wanda’s arms wrapped around you. After a while, both of you decided to get out.

Wanda, again, made sure to keep you steady as you got out of the bath. With a towel already wrapped around herself, she made sure to wrap you up within a split second of the cold air hitting your wet body. You both smiled and giggled with each other as each of you attempted to dry the other off. 

Neither of you bothered to put clothes of any kind back on when you were both nice and dry. The both of you knew tonight wasn’t quite over yet, and your body still craved way more from Wanda than the one, albeit amazing, orgasm she did give you. 

When you both were done with the bath, Wanda sat you gently on the bed as she began to move the candles from the bathroom to the bedroom, as well as the speaker she had for the instrumental music that was still playing. The romantic mood from the bath you shared was effectively recreated in your shared bedroom and you couldn’t help but smile at Wanda as you watched her fuss over small details. The way she looked, as she made sure the candles were positioned just right, the glow of their flame plus the moonlight coming from the window, was stunning. Wanda always said that you looked like you were glowing, even before you knew you were actually pregnant with her child, but she was glowing too. You made a mental note to tell her more about how beautiful she was, just like she would remind you. 

When the room was finally ready, Wanda walked up to where you sat on the bed and leaned down to kiss you. Your hands immediately grabbed at her bare hips, pulling her closer and parting your lips for her tongue to gently run against your own. The soft sigh she let out as she felt your tongue against hers was intoxicating and it immediately made you want to hear more. However, you also desperately wanted to feel Wanda touch you more, or at least to feel her finally inside you. Rarely did you specifically ask for what you wanted, always struggling with being too shy, but tonight you had something very specific in mind that you think the both of you would enjoy.

Pulling back from the kiss you looked up at Wanda who was looking at you with a blush across her face and lust in her eyes. She knew just by the way you looked at her, that you wanted something. 

“What is it, my love?” She gave you a knowing smile. Excitement grew in her eyes as she watched you struggle to get over your shyness. She loved seeing you communicate what you wanted from her. It was hard to coax out of you, but it was a huge turn on for her when she finally got you to admit it. 

“Would you um…” You bit your lip, feeling your face flush more before you even got the words out. Really you shouldn’t be shy about this anymore, but you couldn’t help it. “Tonight, could we use the…” 

“The what, baby?” Wanda’s eyes sparkled as she watched you struggle to get the word out. She knew exactly what you wanted and she loved when you asked for it. 

“You know what I’m talking about,” you pouted. Wanda was going to give you a harder time, but any time she saw you pout she’d instantly cave. It wasn’t fair really.

“Do I?” She kept teasing, not quite ready to let you off the hook. “You could want a number of things. But I think I do know.” Her grin grew as she watched you squirm. “Is it that you want my cock again?” 

Your face was bright red at this point and despite covering it with your hands, you still nodded. 

Wanda just let out an amused chuckle in response, but you knew by the way she was shifting where she stood that you were going to get exactly what you wanted. “Alright,” Wanda began, “but if you want this, we’re going to go carefully and slowly” 

You nodded eagerly, waiting for Wanda to do her thing and put on the magic toy you both loved so much. “We’ll go carefully,” you agreed, trying to reassure Wanda so she’d make a move.

“And slowly,” she corrected. 

“And slowly,” you nodded again, still eager for Wanda to conjure up the toy.

“And you’re going to ride me.”

“And I’m going to r–” you paused as the words sank in. “Wait what?!”

Wanda gave you a devilish grin. “Yes, you’re going to ride me. Listen, this way you can set the pace and we can make sure nothing gets too out of control.” By nothing, Wanda meant herself. Before you were pregnant, any time she used the enchanted strap-on she created for the two of you, it didn’t take her long to get a little… overly enthusiastic. No matter how many times she’s fucked you with it, she hasn’t gotten used to the fact that she can actually feel herself inside you. Any time you start to get close, a part of her loses it just a little bit, and she struggles with the urge to just fuck you into the mattress. Usually, you have no quarrels about letting her do exactly that, but right now things are different. You were more fragile. She couldn’t risk the safety of you or her unborn child just because she can’t control herself. The best solution, in Wanda’s mind, is to have you in control. Hopefully, it’ll be easier to control her constant need to ruin you when she can feel herself inside you, if you’re using this toy with you in charge. 

“I– Wanda, I haven’t done that before.” To Wanda, you looked so cute when you were nervous like this. Her hands reached to cup your face and you didn’t put up a protest when she pulled you in for a breathtaking kiss. Her tongue immediately licked into your mouth and you moaned against hers as it did. Your hands grabbed at her naked body as she tilted your head back and kissed you harder. Suddenly, she was moving while she was kissing you. Her knees went onto the bed on either side of you and you realized she was straddling your waist.

Your mind short circuited for a minute and your hands grabbed harder at her as she kept kissing you. Her naked body pressed down against yours and for the first time, you felt how wet she was as her pussy pressed to your thigh. You didn’t even care about the whines that were being suppressed by Wanda’s lips as you felt her start to grind down. But all too soon, Wanda broke the kiss. 

“See,” She said breathlessly, “Just do this…” Wanda dragged her body against your thigh again and you groaned at the feeling. All you could think to do was nod as your eyes fell between your bodies to watch the way she was moving. Wanda was breathing hard as she continued to grind slowly against you. “Are you ready to try?” Wanda stilled her movement and you swallowed hard, trying to muster up more courage. You didn’t want her to stop what she was doing, but you also desperately wanted to feel her inside you and that feeling was growing by the second.

“Yes, I’m ready.” You practically sounded like you were pleading with her, even though you were trying to keep your cool.

“Good girl,” Wanda kissed your lips again before crawling off of you. You watched with curiosity as she got comfortable on the bed, leaning herself against the headboard. With another wave of her hand, suddenly the thing you’d been waiting all night for was right in front of you, with the straps already tightly attached to Wanda’s hips. “Now,” Wanda’s eyes were dark and her grin was wide as she looked at you. “Come here.”

You could feel your heart rate pick up just by looking at the sight in front of you. Wanda had her hands folded behind her head as she rested against the headboard. Her legs were spread and in between them was the crimson strap-on you loved so much, even if you still weren’t quite used to the size. To ride it seemed daunting, but as Wanda waited for you with a hungry look in your eye, it was all you wanted to do. 

With a little bit of hesitation, you crawled to where she was on the bed. “Take it slowly,” she instructed as you began to mount her. Her hands moved from behind her head to rest on your hips. You felt her gently guiding you so that you were steady as you started to line her strap up with your entrance. 

“That’s it,” she practically groaned as she felt your wetness against her enchanted toy. 

“Fuck…” you muttered under your breath as you started to slowly lower yourself onto it. The size was still hard to take, but as it stretched your walls it still felt incredibly good. 

When you were finally all the way down, your thighs flush with Wanda’s hips, her hands tightened their grip on you. You didn’t move for a minute, just watching in awe as Wanda clearly reacted to the feeling of being inside you. Her breathing picked up and her eyes grew darker as she looked back at you. Eventually, you experimentally picked yourself up only slightly and then ground back down onto her cock. The movement was not lost on Wanda; her nails immediately dug into your skin when she felt it. 

With a sudden burst of confidence, you started to move, rocking your hips against Wanda’s as she sat below you and just let you ride. She felt every single thrust though, and it took every ounce of strength in her not to lose control like she wanted to. Her instincts were screaming at her to just flip you over and fuck you until you had tears in yours eyes. However, she knew that wasn’t a good idea, not when you were more fragile right now. So instead, she held onto you tightly and let you ride her.

As you picked up the pace, Wanda’s head fell back against the headboard. Her eyes were squeezed shut and her lip was between her teeth. She was breathing hard at this point too and you started to notice the way her hips would jump with each time you pressed yourself down hard against her cock. Eventually, you felt her hands tugging at you and you realized it was her way of moving you faster. 

“Fuck baby,” Wanda groaned between pants. “You feel so good.” Her eyes were open again and you couldn’t help the moan that fell from your lips as you kept fucking yourself on top of her. The way she looked right now was a rare sight. Usually, you were too busy getting lost in the way Wanda made you feel to watch her lose control because of you and it was making you even more wet as you rode her.

Wanda could already feel your wetness drip down her cock and onto her bare thighs. That plus the way you let out moan after moan with each time she moved her hips and fucked up inside of you was driving her crazy. She hated to admit it, but she was so fucking close already. She was feeling you squeeze against her cock more and more with each time you practically bounced on top of her. At first, she wanted to make you cum one more time before she came with you, but that wasn’t going to happen. Wanda severely underestimated just how fucking good you’d look fucking yourself on her cock like this. 

Suddenly, as you felt Wanda’s thighs begin to twitch underneath you, she surged up. Her arms came to wrap fully around your waist and her hips began moving up harder and faster into you. Your body immediately fell forward, overwhelmed by how hard her cock was pumping into you. Your eyes closed and your face buried into her neck. Wanda felt your nails scratch at her back as she kept a fast pace, pulling your entire body to fuck yourself faster on her cock. 

“Fuck fuck,” Wanda groaned as she kept pumping her hips up to fuck you harder. “Like that baby, keep riding my cock.” You tried your best to speed up, but at this point Wanda was practically just fucking you onto her cock herself. “I’m gonna cum. Fuck, I’m going to cum inside you.” 

“Please,” you moaned. Your only thoughts now were of how badly you wanted her to cum and how badly you wanted to cum with her. Suddenly, Wanda used all her strength to pump her cock harder up into you a few more times before, finally, you felt her warm cum fill your pussy. With a loud cry, you followed after, coming hard on top of her. She could feel a mix of both your and her cum dripping down the strap and onto her lap.

Eventually, her movements slowed until she felt your body completely relax against hers. Both of you were breathing hard as you tried to come down from your orgasms. Wanda’s hands found their way to your hair, stroking gently while she placed a few light kisses to your shoulder and then your neck up to your jaw.

“How are you feeling?” She mumbled against your skin. 

“Mm, good,” you breathed. “A little worn out.” Usually, you could go a few more times, but you wanted to be honest. Your stamina and energy wasn’t what it used to be and you definitely understood that it was the pregnancy. 

“Why don’t we get you cleaned up?” Wanda kissed your lips briefly before gently moving you up and off her strap. With a flick of her wrist it disappeared from her hips and the both of you looked down. “I think I might need another bath,” she chuckled. 

You looked back up at her sheepishly. “Can I join again?” 

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” she grinned before hopping up from the bed. Her hand slipped into yours and she helped steady you when you stood up on shaky legs. “Plus, I’m not done spoiling you. I promised the boys I’d take care of you. It was the only way they agreed to go to the sleepover.” 

She stopped for a moment and pressed a hand to your stomach, her eyes shining with so much love as she looked down at your small baby bump. “And you and their new sister deserve the absolute best care in the world.” 

You smiled as you watched Wanda admire you and the changes your body was experiencing. You knew you weren’t just in for a night of love and care from her, but a whole lifetime. Not just from her, but from the whole family you now shared with her.

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[archangeldyke-all]

you think pitlover have the technology to make 2 woman have a kid? ( no need a men like only the 2 woman's)

it be so pretty

I want sevika's baby.

i don't see why not! hope u like this!

men and minors dni

sevika would be hesitant the first time you bring up kids.

it's not like she hasn't thought about it before. she loves you, you love her, what better way to celebrate and expand that love than by adding your own baby into the mix?

it's not like she doesn't love the idea. a baby with your eyes and her nose? with your hair and her temperament? she wonders what your baby would call the two of you. 'mom' for both of you? sevika's partial to 'mama.' she knows you'd love 'mommy,' knows your heart would break the day your kid gets old enough to demote you to 'mom.' she laughs at the thought.

so yeah... she's definitely thought about it. it gives her butterflies and makes her heart swell each time she does. but she's also scared.

she's scared of the potential complications of pregnancy, the potential complications of birth. she's scared of losing you. she's scared that the little baby will grow up to hate her, that she'll be just as shit at being a mom as her old man was at being a dad.

so you let her think on it. you guys have all the time in the world to make a decision.

but once you put the thought in her head, it's all she can think about. you figure you guys will talk about it again a few years down the road, but sevika brings it up on a weekly basis.

"we'd have to, like... babyproof the whole house." sevika grunts out over dinner one evening. you raise an eyebrow.

"for what?"

"if we have kids." she says, confused at your confusion.

the next week, as the two of you are out shopping together, she stops in front of a pair of baby shoes. "their feet are really that tiny?" she asks as she gazes down at the itty bitty boots. you laugh and kiss her cheek, tugging her along toward the produce.

a few weeks later, you two are out at dinner when a woman comes in with a newborn strapped to her chest. sevika's eyes trail over to the sleeping baby for the rest of the night, a soft smile on her lips.

she catches you admiring her gentle gaze and rolls her eyes at you.

"you totally want a baby, don't you?" you tease her from across the table. she shrugs.

"maybe."

you're pregnant by the end of the month.

she has her appointment first, and you hold her hand the whole time she's in the stirrups.

she does the same for you the next week when it's your turn.

it's a success on the first attempt, and sevika's so excited and happy that she cries in the doctor's office as she delivers the good news.

she wraps you up into a bear hug, pressing kisses all over you.

that night, you wake up to sevika petting your stomach, looking down at you in awe. you giggle as you rub the sleep from your eyes.

"nothing's gonna change down there for a few weeks, honey." you tell her. "go to bed." you say, pulling her down to lay on top of you. she nuzzles her head into your tits where she always sleeps, but doesn't bring her arm up to cup your free breast. instead, she keeps it planted on your stomach, drawing small circles in the skin until she's asleep.

your first month is easy-- you have barely any symptoms. but at the beginning of month two, you start getting horrible morning sickness.

sevika refuses to let you puke alone. even when you're grumpy and hormonal and want to be alone, she'll endure all your bitching and cursing to rub your back and keep your hair from falling in your face.

she buys you a little padded stool so you don't have to sit on the cold tile when you're throwing up in the toilet. she always brings you mouthwash and water when you're done, helping you off the floor and giving you a big hug.

month three rolls around and your sense of smell goes crazy. sevika comes home from work one day and you vomit at the smell of stale cigarettes trailing after her.

"i only smoked one!"

"you smell like you smoked a pack in a parked car with the windows up." you groan into the toilet bowl. this is one of very few times sevika's not sitting beside you while you vomit-- because she's in the shower beside you scrubbing the scent away from her skin.

she gives up smoking that night. completely. quits cold turkey. you've been trying to get her to give up the horrible habit since you started dating years ago, and she managed to cut her consumption way down but could never quite kick the habit. (and besides the cigar she and silco share in the parking lot of the hospital after you give birth, she never smokes again.)

it's not all miserable, though. as the morning sickness fades and your second trimester rolls around, your libido skyrockets-- which sevika is thrilled about.

she's also thrilled about the way your tits are swelling, the way your belly's starting to grow. she's just as needy for you as you are for her, obsessed with your changing body, unable to keep her hands to herself

most exciting of all though, is finding out the baby's sex. sevika's shaking in excitement in the waiting room of the doctor's office. she can't decide if she wants a boy or girl more.

"i think i want a boy." she decides. you smile at her, intertwining your fingers.

"oh, yeah?" you ask. she sighs.

"i don't know!" she's giddy. "maybe a girl will be better." you giggle.

"the good news is it's not up to you." you say. she huffs.

"well what do you think?" she asks. you roll your eyes. she's asked you this a thousand times.

"you know i think it's a girl. i'm carrying too high for it to be a boy." sevika scoffs beside you.

"that's just a myth." she says, rolling her eyes.

it's a girl. sevika cries from joy. the doctor leaves to give you a minute to collect yourselves, and sevika tries to fuck you right then and there.

"a girl. a girl's perfect. our baby girl." she whipsers in awe as she presses kisses down your neck.

you manage to pry her off you long enough to get to the car, but she doesn't let you guys leave the parking lot before getting her mouth on you.

that night, you wake up to sevika hovering over you, studying you, her hand tracing patterns on your stomach. it's become a familiar sight to wake up to. "my girls." she whispers, leaning down to kiss your belly then up to kiss your lips.

your third trimester is uncomfortable.

you feel huge. you struggle to move. you have to pee all the fucking time.

sevika's patient and kind with you. she massages your sore ankles and tits every evening, helps you waddle to and from the bathroom all throughout the nights.

you're exhausted and bloated and swollen and achy all the time. baby brain makes you confused and disoriented, and sometimes you just cry about it all.

sevika never laughs at you, never tells you to stop. she just holds you and kisses you and tells you how fucking proud she is of you.

she's always making sure you know how sexy she finds you. she genuinely thinks you're at your hottest eight and a half months pregnant, covered in hormonal acne and struggling to stand on your own.

the fact that you're making a baby turns her on, the fact that you're carrying her baby makes her a little crazy . she kisses every new stretchmark hello when they appear, greets all the new hair that sprouts up on strange patches of your body with gentle scratches.

she feels the baby move first. you're sleeping and she's awake, tracing patterns into your stomach, when your stomach moves beneath her.

you wake up to sevika shaking your shoulders, tears in her eyes as she guides your hand to your stomach where your daughter is squirming in her sleep.

"she's really in there." sevika whispers in awe. you kiss her firmly.

"she'll be out here, soon." you say.

"she's growing up too fast!" sevika exclaims. you laugh, kissing her tears away.

in her free time (when she's not busy pampering you) sevika's devouring parenting books. you might be carrying the kid, but sevika's the one who's really preparing for it.

she baby proofs the house, builds a crib in your room, paints the nursery (formerly her home gym) a lovely baby blue. every time she leaves the house she comes back with a new stuffy or toy or onesie.

when the baby arrives, sevika is cool, calm and collected.

the delivery is rough, they have to give you an emergency c-section, and you're sure you wouldn't have made it if it wasn't for sevika's soothing voice beside you the whole time, calmly telling you what's happening, what the doctors're doing to help, and that you're doing your job perfectly.

she never once leaves your side or lets go of your hand.

(she's panicking internally, horrified that all her worst fears are about to come true, but she knows that if she lets the fear show on her face it'll only cause you more worry and pain. so she gathers her strength and focuses on you.)

it's all worth it when the first cries of your little girl reach your ears. you burst into tears, one of your hands reaching out for your baby, the other still intertwined with sevika's.

the doctor lets you hold her for a second. she's slimy and bloody and screaming her little head off. she's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.

the nurses clean her up, and sevika cuts her cord, tears in her eyes as she watches her baby squirm. the doctors stitch you up and set the three of you up in a quiet little hospital room for your recovery.

you and sevika spend the night curled around your daughter, cooing down at her as she sleeps.

you should be exhausted. you lost a lot of blood and you were in labor for hours. but there's so much love and joy in your heart, with your wife wrapped around you and your baby girl in your arms, that you can't sleep.

sevika takes to being a mom like a fish to water.

she's obsessed with skin to skin contact-- determined to make 'the little fucker,' as she so lovingly refers to your daughter, aware that she's her mama as soon as possible.

babygirl is equally as obsessed with sevika. it pisses you off a little bit, you carried the little fucker around for nine months, and you're the one that feeds her, but all of your irritation disappears when you catch the two of them together.

sevika loves wearing the baby in a wrap on her chest or back as works around the house. she's always humming below her breath, always swaying to and fro when she's still, sure to keep the baby satiated.

she somehow manages to find the time to still take care of you too. every night she rubs lotions and creams in your body, kissing the stretched skin of your stomach, rubbing cooling cream between your legs, soothing cream on your chapped nipples, lotion on your legs and arms and face.

as the days go by and your baby girl gets used to the world, you and sevika's contributions to her start to show.

she's definitely got sevika's nose, which you're thrilled about. you've taken to pressing kisses to the tip of her nose just like you you do sevika's. she's got sevika's silver eyes, but your eye shape. your cheeks but sevika's lips. she's quiet like her mama sev, but she's got an appetite like yours.

since her arrival to the world, you haven't heard one complaint or worry from sevika's lips about motherhood.

well, that's a lie. she's very vocal about how unfair it is that your tits are no longer hers, that her own flesh and blood would steal you away from her like that.

she comes home one night to find you reading in bed, your baby asleep against your breast.

"little fucker took my spot!" she says. you laugh, shaking your head.

"she's definetly your daughter."

taglist

@lesbeaniegreenie @fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay

[summerlovingbaby]

Cramps

Eijiro hadn’t heard from his girlfriend, Y/N all morning, which was strange. She always woke up early to read, and when she did she would text him good morning. Even on the weekend, and this weekend was supposed to be special. For the first time in months, their was no mortal dangers, no training exercises, the couple wasn’t dodging mortar fires, or bombs, or rescuing civilians from collapsing buildings.

He didn’t get a text and it was nearly noon.Y/N was on her period, and though her cramps were usually manageable, today she woke up with an earsplitting headache. She knew it was the weekend and was thankful that she had no prior engagements, so she ignored the violent churning in her stomach, stumbled her way to the bathroom. Blindly felt around the medicine cabinet grabbed Advil and took a handful of pills before she closed her black out curtains, crawled between her sheets and placed a pillow over her head, hoping the pressure would push away the headache.

She was unable to think about the oddities of her situation. Her period was on its final day, it was technically on its final day yesterday, and she expected only spotting today. Her PMS symptoms were never as horrific as they could have been, she never had headaches, and though her cramps wer awful it was nothing that couldn’t be managed with a heating pad and some painkillers couldn’t fix.

But this pain was deep in her stomach, and was shooting painful jabs in her stomach, her head hurt something awful and she wanted nothing more than to hide under her covers and for it to go away. She slept off her headache for 45 minutes before a gentle knocking on the door woke her up.

Eijiro knocked twice before he heard the bed groan, signaling that she had gotten up. He checked his watch, it was nearly 1PM in the afternoon, the door slowly opened and a blanket covered mound peeked their head out, he couldn’t helpbut smile. Y/N had always been particularly shy, but this was a new extent.

“ Hello,” he whispered quietly, like he was afraid of spooking an afraid animal, she used the blanket to block out the light, “ You okay?” he asked.

She nodded, “ Its just bright,” she said, “ And I have a headache,” she added on. Eijoro cocked his head to the side with confusion. Y/N never got headaches, unless she went days without eating, and after a particular situation where she forgot to eat for 2 whole days, he was always there to make sure that she ate at least 600 calories worth in granola bars a day. “ My periods kicking my ass,” she added hoping he would understand.

Eijoro nodded sympathetically, he would never understand the trials and tribulations of being a girl, bleed painfully for days on end, but he was always sympathetic to their plight. He had 2 sisters who cried alot watching nature documentaries on penguins who mate for life. Life was hardcore enough on it its own, but adding bleeding on top of it was metal as hell.

“ You feel up to lunch?”

Y/N shook her head and looked back at her bed, she wanted nothing more than to climb into bed and rot away the day. “ I just want to lie down,” she said quietly.

Eijiro nodded and looked at Y/N sadly. He missed his girlfriend, they had a busy week and hardly seen eachother the past week, barley having the chance for more than a glance and Y/N really wanted to have sex with him, her hormones were driving her up the wall and she wanted nothing more than to jump his bones, but felt too grossed to be touched. Eijiro studied her face, as she chewed on her bottom lip and hesitated opening her mouth.

“ Can I stay with you?” he offered, and Y/N quickly obliged, opening the door wide enough for him to follow her through the door. He placed a hand on the small of his back and guided her to her bed, pulled back the mountain of blankets and watched as she hid beneath them, he then made himself comfortable by sitting down. He outstretched his legs and leaned back on the headboard and watched as Y/N placed her head on his upper thigh and she fell into a vague sleep state.

It only lasted a few minutes before the stomach pain hit her in the gut and she sat instantly upwards, doubled oever and vomited over the edge of her bed. The sight of her vomit sent her spiraling, she already felt gross, and now she had thrown up in front of her boyfriend, she couldn’t wallow in her pity for long because a familiar horrible feeling was rising in her chest again, and she doubled over and threw up once more.

Eijiro had stood up by then, Y/N expected him to leave, she was in such a state of disrepair. Her hair was a birds nest, and her clothes were old and wrinkled, not to mention she just upchucked two times in front of him, she covered her mouth and spared him a cautionary glance at Ejiro, to her surprise didn’t look digusted, just vageluly confused and concerned. She opened her mouth and muttered a vague apology before the ground got closer to her head very very quickly.

She woke up what she estimated was an hour later, in a strangely calm emergency room, she was hooked up to all kinds of monitors with a very concerned Eijiro brushing hair out of her face and fretting over the thickness of the blanket, while her closest friends watched. If he was trying to be calm it wasn’t working because he frequently peaked his head out of the curtiains until a doctor showed up.

She wanted to hide away from the embarrassment of it all. All her friends drug themselves to an ER because Y/N couldn’t handle her stomach pain without throwing up and blacking out, and she wanted to go home. She was never a fan of hospitals, her brother died in one two years ago and it was awful. Now every time she’s in a hospital she smells the clean sterile smell and the light blue walls and she remembers that gut-sinking feeling when her brother died, and all of a sudden her stomach pain and headache seemed bearable enough to be anywhere else but a hospital.

“ I wanna go home,” she whispered, Bakugo muttered something and fretted over the blanket and Denki took a phone call in the hall.

“ I know, just wait a second,” he whispered, “ Denki’s been calling your parents,” he said.

“ Don’t-”

“Shut up, its happening,” he scolded, “ Aizawa is on his way, you need an adult here for medical purposes until your parents get here.”

Her parents were on a trip to the States, and they weren’t getting here anytime soon. Before she could explain a man in blue scrubs with a clipboard jerked back the curtain hard, scribbling madly on his clipboard.

“ So you’re hear today because you have stomach pains, threw up and passed out?” he asked reading it off the clipboard, not bothering to look up.

Y/N nodded, “ Yeah, it’s not usually this bad,” she said quietly. 

This seemed to peak his interest because he clicked his pen closed and finally looked up, “ This has happened before?”

“ Well I thought the stomach pain was just cramps, but I don’t think so because my period technically ended yesterday, and my cramps are usually manageable, and I never get headaches, and last time I threw up it was the stomach flu,” she said.

He sighed annoyed and took a few steps towards her, “ So you’re hear for period related stomach pains,” he sighed, “ And you want me to?”

Y/N blinked at him a few times, too stunned to speak. Eijoro had been waiting for a doctor for at least an hour, and was only met with incompetence, “ An exam would be nice?” he said.

“ I mean there really is no point, you said it yourself its PMS related pain, I mean are you experiencing any stress?” he asked begrudgingly.

“ We go to UA, stress is what we signed up for.” Bakugou interrupted. Denki stopped trying to call her parents, and instead listened in to the conversation.

“ Stress has been known to make period pain less tolerable, your BP is normal, you seem fine, I suggest moving to a less stressful environment, and maybe seeing at a nurse will be here in a few minutes to discharge you?”

The notion of leaving in this horrible pain sent her sprailing, she was overwhelmed tired and in pain and could no longer stand the idea of being left untreated and was unable to fight back the tears that she had been holding onto since this morning, Bakugou stroked her hair to calm her, but it wasn’t working, he looked at the monitor where her blood pressure suddenly spiked.

The doctor looked at the monitor then back at her, “ How about we try to calm down?” he said condescendingly, “ Your hysterics are spiking your blood pressure.”

Eijiro shook his head, he had no intention of going anywhere. “ We aren’t leaving, I want another doctor,” he demanded.

“ You’re requesting someone else?” he asked.

“ YES,” he raised his voice and rung his hands in the air, “ I WANT ANOTHER DOCTOR, OR A NURSE, OR SOMEONE WHO IS MORE COMPETENT THAN YOU-,”

His shouting got the attention of a passing-by doctor, who poked her head through the curtain, her intrusion didn’t stop Eijiros ranting.

“ YOU DIDN’T EVEN EXAMINE HER, OR LOOK AT HER CHART OR DO ANYTHING THAT EVEN REMOTELY REQUIRES A MEDICAL DEGREE, SHE IS ON HER PEORID AND REGARDLESS IF THAT PAIN IS RELATED TO THAT OR NOT SHE NEEDS HELP BECAUSE IT SHOULD NOT BE OKAY TO THROW UP AND PASS OUT SO FIND SOMEONE TO EITHER HELP HER OR FIND SOMEONE ELSE WHO WILL.”

His shouting made Y/N cry more, he never yelled and when he did it was always frightening. She wanted to go home and sleeep it off, she wanted to be anythere but this hospital with its blue walls and antispetic smell.

The doctor balked at him with his mouth open, and the lady stepped through the curtain with a plastered smile on her face. “ What seems to be the issue here?” she asked,  “ My name is Dr. Ross.”

“Well Dr. Ross, my girlfriend had really bad cramps this morning and a headache, and around 4ish she threw up 2 times and kept passing out, and I know that you think that this is just period related pain but I don’t think so, they’ve never been this bad,” Eijiro began to explain to Dr. Ross who walked to Y/N and fiddled with the monitor.

“ This bozo didn’t even examin her-” Bakugou interjected.

This peaked Dr. Ross’s interest because she shot the doctor a deadly glare and snatched the clipboard from him, and read over her chart.

“ It says here that you were in the hospital 3 months ago, was that for abdominal pain or?” she smiled.

“ I broke 3 ribs and dislocated my shoulder fighting someone,” the doctor lifted a brow, “ You should have seen the other guy,” she added.

“ Is it okay if I palpate your stomach?” she asked.

Y/N meekly nodded, and Eijoro finished glaring at the doctor long enough to watch Dr. Rosses careful hands as she gently massaged her stomach, trying to ignore the pain as she pushed down around her stomach, Y/N then groaned loudly as she removed her pain.

Dr. Ross unhooked the portable ultrasound from the heart monitor quickly, “ And the pain started?”

“ This morning,” she groaned.

Dr Ross squeezed a quarter size of cool jelly on her stomach, and pressed the ultra sound wand firmly on her stomach than made a vaguely dissatisfied clucking noise, her eyebrows squinted together, before they raised suddenly, then with a grim look on her face she looked over her shoulder at the doctor, who still stood with his arms crossed over his chest and was looking rather annoyed. She removed the wand and Y/N groaned loudly, the pain was worse than it was with stomach pressure.

“ Book an OR,” she said grimly, then she turned back to Y/N who had now resulyed on holding her stomach and chewing her bottom because of the pain. “ It looks like her appendix burst a few hours ago,” she said. “ And because it went untreated for so long it turned into peritonitis, and that is beginning to turn into sepsis,” she explained calmly. “Without surgical intervention, she will die, so we need to take her to surgery right away.”

“ Sepsis?” 

“ Yes, it seems like her appendix burst right before she threw up, and because it went untreated for hours, because an incompetent doctor,” she tossed a disapproving glance over her shoulder at the doctor, “because she sat in a hospital for hours bleeding out into her abdomen because you thought her pain was made up and you thought she was hysterical, because you didn’t give her the basic standard of treatment, like an exam, she has to have emergency surgery.”

Y/N began to sob, the last thing she wanted was surgery, and apparently she might die. It was alot to handle in 5 minutes.

Before Y/N could protest she was being wheeled out of the room, down hallways that smelled like cleaning supplies, and sterile baby blue walls. She cried for Eijoro but he was no where to be found, she didn’t want surgery, her brother went to surgery and now he was was dead.

Eijoro paced around the room listly, before a nurse led them to a waiting room, then he paced around that one frequently checking the time. Denki didn’t understand his nerves, it was just an appendix, lots of people didn’t have appendix, he one read on a article that it was a common surgery.

“ It’s okay, most people have their appendixes out,” Denki said.

“ She has sepsis,” Eijiro said, “ that means her organs are dying because her burst appendix gave her an infection, her organs are dying because she sat in that ER for hours, and now she might die, and I didn’t help her,” he sighed, finally collapsing in a chair.

“ Hey, you did what you could. That clown of a doctor tried to send her home, but you stayed and you fought for her,” he said, his words were seldom comfort so they waited in silence until Dr. Ross took them to a recovery room where Y/N was lying down in a hospital bed, loopy from all the anesthesia which was starting to wear off.

She smiled at the sight of him, her perfect handsome boyfriend, who was pulled aside by the doctor and wad given instructions about her post-operative care. She would need to stay at the hospital for 4 nights of observation due to the infection, though they were positive that she would recover.

“ You did good today, I know you probably felt helpless watching her in so much pain, but you fought for her when people tried to dismiss her, you fought for her,” she said.

Eijiro spent the next few days spoon deeding her icecream and cuddling while watching Gilmore Girls reruns on the shitty hospital TV.

@kiribakuslilpebble    @un-limit-edd     @ultrahugakitten  @ jmook423 @ anonymousbabygirl13-blog   @ power-house-fan12                                  @imunderurbed   @fandomfreak1000000   @dylan-kai2008 @cheesecakeva  @lovemegood  @madsttx @whatdidshesayyy

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[ratatoast]

Whew, I’ve really been debating whether I should make this post or not, but I’ve decided that it is my civic duty as a fellow cyster to bring awareness and maybe help others understand or even recognise the symptoms and what it means to have PCOS

I could hit you guys with all the official terms and statistics, but I will let the pictures do the talking on that

I personally just thought that I should share my story and how I got diagnosed with PCOS, and how I’ve been managing since then

So, I got my first period when I was 10. Which is quite early, but it never really bothered me. I always had a very regular menstrual cycle, from the number of days I menstruated, to the length of each phase.

Well, that all stopped when I was almost 19. My periods stopped being regular, I even went 3 whole consecutive months without even ovulating once. I was always irritated, I gained a lot of weight, my skin was horrible and I just wasn’t really on top of my game in general.

But I just kept telling myself that everything would be fine. I floated through 2 years of my life without knowing if I would be getting my period each month. I didn’t understand why I was always so hormonal and I kind of started hating myself.

So this year, in the very beginning of july, now at the big old age of 21, I decided to go to the OBGYN. I was honestly scared shitless, but I was trying to gaslight myself into thinking that it would be all fine. Except it ended up not being all fine. Because I got diagnosed with PCOS.

Now, I don’t know about other OBGYNs, but mine didn’t particularly care to explain stuff to me, just gave me my papers and told me to get a bunch of tests done to find out my root cause. My regular doctor just gave me a pamphlet for dieting with diabetes/IR and basically told me to just figure things out on my own.

I think it’s honestly disgusting how little healthcare professionals seem to care about a condition that affects so many afab people. There isn’t a cure, because nobody cares to find a cure.

Well, they should.

Everyone should.

Living with PCOS isn’t easy. I have mental breakdowns about it on the weekly. I hate having to restrict what I can eat so much.

And I hate that it is worth it. I hate that I actually feel better when I don’t eat dairy, I hate that I actually feel awful physically when I eat carbs. It’s not fair.

And I hate that my sickness affects the most important (to me) aspect of my life: my fertility.

I have never not wanted children. Becoming a mother is the biggest dream I had since I was a kid. It’s my life purpose. And I might not ever get it.

But I can’t let my PCOS rule my life. I am me, first and foremost. Chronic illness or not.

And I really hope that every woman struggling with PCOS can look into the mirror at the end of the day and find beauty in what she sees.

You are beautiful.

You are strong.

You are loved.

[cr0wprince]

Sharing more of my mpreg au. Please talk to me about it!! I have at LEAST 51 posts to share, but I know I have more!

⚡️⚔️ mpreg/omegaverse, post-NRC

Thinking of Silver’s early days of pregnancy where the fatigue hits hard. He’s no stranger to being sleepy but boy is it hard to stay awake. He’ll be accompanying Malleus on duty and they stop for a while and once Silver sits down, it’s over.

Malleus ends up carrying him back to his and Sebek’s room and Sebek starts to get worried about Silver’s role as Malleus’s retainer during this pregnancy. Because if Silver is this fatigued, he’s not in top shape to protect Malleus, let alone himself.

Malleus is important to Sebek, but Silver and their baby? Invaluable. He can’t risk losing either of them which is when he starts to try talking him out of being Malleus’s retainer, at least until the baby’s born.

Thinking about Silver in his early days of pregnancy. This is an oopsie pregnancy, so they had no clue until Silver started having symptoms (whether that was morning sickness or a missed heat)

so Sebek had no control prior—but after they find out about Silver’s pregnancy—Sebek immediately wants Silver to retire from being Malleus’s retainer.

Silver just stares at him. “But why?”

“Anything could happen, Silver! Malleus is heir to Briar Valley! It’s a dangerous job!”

Silver still wants to be Malleus’s retainer though, despite Sebek’s best efforts to talk him out of it. There’s no real issue until there’s actually danger and Sebek finds himself needing to protect both Malleus and Silver. (Malleus can protect himself though) Sebek is pissed.

Once Sebek’s sure that Silver is safe, he tears into him. “This is why I don’t want you doing this anymore! Think of what could’ve happened to you and our child! Malleus has me and other retainers! Your job now is to protect our child!”

Sebek never expected to drive Silver to tears. Silver knew all of these things and his raging hormones definitely don’t help.

Sebek sighs and opens his arms. Silver comes forward and buries his face into Sebek’s chest, sobbing. Sebek rubs at his back.

“I know all of these things, Sebek,” Silver mumbles, “But I don’t want to be a burden.”

“You’re not a burden, Silver. You’re carrying our child. That should be your first priority.”

“I don’t want to feel like an incubator.”

“Maybe after the baby’s born, you can resume your post,” Sebek suggests, “But I’d still much rather you tend to the baby, just in case anything were to ever happen me.”

This is something they hash out a lot over the course of Silver’s pregnancy

I’m not sure how this ends but this has just been on my mind. I feel like Lilia steps in and reassures Silver that it’s okay to step down, even if it’s just for the remainder of his pregnancy and that helps Silver a lot, hearing it from his dad

Thinking of the line from this thread where Silver says he doesn’t want to feel like an incubator and imagining later on in his pregnancy him having to go on bedrest and he REALLY feels like an incubator

Sebek always gives him good morning/goodbye kisses before he leaves in the morning, but Silver ends up spending a lot of the day alone.

Lilia visits with the baby a lot and Silver is always in awe at how big his baby brother is getting. (NOTE: I’m copying this part from Twitter but this part has changed. Lilia is pregnant at the same time as Silver in this AU now. I just don’t want to fix this post 😅)

Silver’s allowed to get out of bed a little, but nothing strenuous, so Lilia helps him get all comfy on the floor and they try to get the baby to toddle back and forth between them. Silver especially loves the little babbling that ALMOST sounds like his name.

Lilia does what he can to keep Silver entertained, but Silver is bored out of his mind and it sucks because it feels like his one lone purpose at the moment is to grow the baby. He loves his baby with every inch of his being, but he’d like to do other things as well

Lilia’s not the only one that visits. Epel and Deuce visit since the three of them have become close. Epel is on the last leg of his own pregnancy so he may not visit as often.

Kalim also visits and he really takes Silver’s mind off of things

I’m not sure timeline-wise where Kalim is with his own baby—whether he’s pregnant or has his first—but Kalim is definitely a lively guest. He brings lots of snacks and he always brings gifts for the baby (every visit).

He has a tendency to go overboard and when Jamil comes with him, he always apologizes for Kalim and Silver always offers a fond smile, telling him it’s alright.

Riddle manages to visit once in a while, but it’s a struggle with his two babies (Trey’s not a deadbeat dad or anything he takes care of the kids too lmao) and he’s also in law school, so Riddle’s a busy guy.

Silver’s always excited though when Sebek returns home for the night. He’s been extra clingy during his pregnancy (not that he wants to admit it) and the first thing he wants from Sebek when he comes home is a big, long hug

The first night of Silver’s bedrest, Sebek was surprised to come back to a bear hug, but he’s grown accustomed to it and even looks forward to it. Silver has started to indirectly be a little pushy about cuddles now that he’s spending good chunks of the day by himself

And his hormones are all wack so all he wants is to be near his mate. Sebek is pretty smug about it.

Sebek has gotten used to making dinner by himself (rather than them switching off) so that Silver’s not on his feet all that time

So he makes dinner and they cuddle up on the couch afterwards. They chat about their days. Sickeningly sweet domestic stuff, y’know

[himeprincessa]

Supplements and Vitamins to start your year RIGHT! 💖

Warning: Make sure that the supplements you are taking do not counteract as this could lead them to be ineffective or even dangerous. Vitamins that interact tend to need to be space out by four hours.

Morning

Iron: It is really common for young adults (especially those who are living on their own for the first time) to develop iron deficiency. Common symptoms are dizziness, a fast heart rate or brittle nails. If you have these symptoms check in with your doctor as taking too much iron can make you sick as well. If you are iron deficienct but don't have full blown anemia, you can take multivitamins that contain iron. These will help boost your levels and keep you full of energy.

Allergy pills: TAKE ALLERGY MEDICINE!!! Especially if you live in an urban environment that contains a lot of trees that produce pollen. It is not normal to be sniffling, coughing and feeling fatigued just from natural air. Generic works just as well as name brand.

Allergy Nasal Spray: If you are like me and your allergies are more extreme, I recommend a nasal spray. These can be prescribed by your doctor or bought over the counter.

Lunch

Multivitamins: If you take nothing else, make sure to take a multivitamin! They contain the majority of vitamins we need everyday to function. So if you're feeling tired even after sleeping a lot, it might be that you're not getting the essential nutrients you need. This can lead to acne, fatigue generally making your body weaker. Make sure to look at the label to see how much daily percentage the bottle you chose has.

Probiotic: One of the most important parts of our body is our gut. It affects our mental health and functioning of our physical bodies. Probiotics help introduce good bacteria into our stomachs as it's needed to keep it healthy. Probiotics can also be found in drinks like kombucha.

B-12: This vitamin helps so much with energy! I started taking 500 mcg but I felt it wasn't enough so now I'm taking 1,000. It's always good to start with a lower dose of any vitamin to see how you react to it.

Biotin: We all know how beneficial biotin is for looking good. It helps strengthen your nails, hair and skin.

Dinner

Calcium: This vitamin helps strengthen your teeth and bones. It's typically considered a supplement you start taking as you're older but by then it's already too late in a sense. I also recommend taking the magnesium zinc version. On top of these two being good for you, they help the calcium absorb so much better.

Fiber: OK I just ran out lol so here's a stock photo. Because most modern food is so processed we typically do not get enough fiber in our diet. Fiber is so important to keep our digestive system running. Adding 5 grams of fiber can make such a difference.

Optional

Saw Palmetto: If you have issues from hair loss like me, anemia is so awful, this can help a lot. Depending on your body, it can either help stop the thinning or even help regrow it. However this is a herbal remedy that can affect your hormones. Thus, it can cause mental health reactions and should be used with caution if you struggle with it.

Get Lit: This I bought on a whim from the Sephora sale! It is meant to help with both skin issues and your mood. It's the type of supplement where you dissolve it into water.

[trans-wojak]

Hi! I was just wondering, what are your views on non-binary people who actually experience dysphoria and choose to medically transition? I've seen you sorta condemning AFAB enbies who only identify as such without transitioning medically or even just socially, and got genuinely curious, what's your overall opinion on non-binary people. Just in case - I did choose to transition, I've got my top surgery scheduled this year.

I think people can do whatever they want with their bodies cause it’s their body. Buttt being a flat chested female isn’t changing your sex to a third sex, it’s just making you look more or less like a breast cancer survivor. Even in trans guys most top surgery results look terrible. It doubles in awfulness when the person is overweight… Because a male chest doesn’t look flat or even caved in. And most of the time, I don’t think it’s wise to do such surgeries unless you have actual dysphoria - which is, problems with your sex AND wanting to be the opposite sex, not some mix or made up version of the two sexes. I also think a good portion of women who self ID as non binary and want top surgery only want it so (mostly imagined) men won’t see them as sexually attractive and available, because more or less - potentially denying they are lesbians. then again, most enbies I come across are “T4T” but rarely date each other & only go after trans women and trans men who have actually transitioned.

I also want to emphasise that most women who ID as non binary are also mentally ill, with a diagnosis like borderline or bipolar which has identity disturbance issues as a symptom. Do I think that this should stop them from getting surgery or hormones? It’s hard to say: in a perfect world I would like transsexual healthcare to be accessible without threat of removal due people misusing it and regret and I would want non binary people to get their hormones and surgery by paying for it, like anyone else does for cosmetic procedures. Just because you really want something doesn’t mean it’s a medical need, I really would like a nose job because I hate the shape of my nose but my need for testosterone and potential surgery (I may/may not need top surgery due to my chest size) is vastly different. Living socially as a woman is painful but not just that, feeling immense disconnection with my body’s sex is extremely uncomfortable. The nose job would just make me feel satisfied and happy, whereas transition has made me feel content and a sense of ease.

I think all body modification is fine cause it’s their body, what I disagree with is people using trans healthcare coverage for their body modification needs. These days the ‘progressive’ climate allows anyone to be given a diagnosis of dysphoria even when they don’t. Removing breasts while retaining every other female sexual characteristic won’t make people think you’re androgynous, so if it’s just for your satisfaction, then that’s great but if you’re doing it in hopes that people won’t see you as a female, it’s the wrong choice.

[whentherewerebicycles]

hoo boy it’s Tuesday and what a week it’s been already. Pip was up all night demanding to be let out to hork down grass and then hork it back up again, so nobody in this house slept much 😩 I also started getting so anxious last night I was short of breath and then had those awful choking dreams where I wake up gasping for air, which I haven’t had for years. at one point I just woke up and sobbed for a while and then went right back to sleep. I feel a little better this morning but in general I think there may be something Not Right about my current levels of panic/dread/despair. like yes I have some reason to worry based on past experience but the intensity of the feelings is outside my normal range of emotional ups and downs. I have always been suuuper sensitive to anything that messes with my brain chemistry and I wonder if this is a “surge of new intense hormones” + “suddenly not being on the meds that have been regulating my brain chemistry for the past 12 years” kinda thing.

like if I step back from the anxiety and try to look at it objectively when I am calmer, I know:

my HCG numbers and rate of rise are at the very top end of the normal range, which is strongly associated in the literature with ongoing pregnancy and live birth

my numbers and rate of rise last time were NOT in the normal range and were in fact one of the fairly textbook patterns for an ectopic pregnancy

I am not experiencing any of the classic symptoms of miscarriage—no pain, no cramping, no bleeding

I have never been all that physically sensitive to HCG—the trigger shot has consistently just given me mild GI symptoms whereas other women experience full-on early pregnancy symptoms. last time my levels eventually reached 18,000 before the surgery (which is close to where I am right now) and I still was having zero symptoms. it seems possible my mild symptoms are not a Harbinger of Doom but are just my body not being that reactive to HCG. my mom says that in four healthy pregnancies she never had morning sickness or any really marked symptoms of pregnancy so maybe there’s a genetic basis to it

I can tell I’m ignoring the symptoms I am experiencing (or dismissing them as unimportant/meaningless) in favor of fixating on the ones I am not experiencing and according those the greatest significance. this feels like classic anxiety brain

having one ectopic increases your risk of having another one but as far as I can tell the odds are higher if they open the tube and then stitch it back up as opposed to removing it entirely. I know my right tube seemed to have a weird little kink in it that showed up in the HSG exam and that was indeed where the ectopic took place. my remaining tube is totally clear/open so there is no particular reason to think I will have a recurrent ectopic.

most women do not have access to this level of data about their pregnancies at six weeks! I need to remember it’s not normal to have so much information so early to obsess over. if I weren’t undergoing fertility treatments and had just gotten pregnant naturally I wouldn’t be going in for a first scan until 8-10 weeks and probably wouldn’t even know my HCG numbers. the intense levels of anxiety I am feeling are probably Brain Stuff gone awry but also I think are a product of having too much info too soon, which partly gives me the illusion of control but much more strongly makes me aware of how little control any of us have over this process. this entire journey has been about just the extreme agonies of waiting through long stretches of time where you literally cannot do anything to influence what is happening inside your body. that is a hard thing to do! and a hard thing to accept! I am doing the best I can in the circumstances I am in!

but also I can probably help myself out a bit by asking about SSRIs and/or cognitive behavioral therapy sigh

[professional-benaddict]

Omega Tony, Alpha Stephen and their pup Peter - 2/2

an AU created by @starksvinyls and @professional-benaddict

Omegaverse, mild descriptions of birth and c-sections, enemies to friends to lovers, whump, fluff, 1.2k

PART ONE

The next morning when Stephen comes, Tony is feeding Peter. The omega does not openly protest to the doctor entering, so he goes to sit on his bedside. 

“You’re his Alpha.” Tony whispers after a while, not taking his eyes off of Peter.

“I know. I can smell both of us all over him.”

“I-I said some awful things to you-”

“I’ve heard worse-”

“No, I- I’m sorry. I probably embarrassed you in front of your colleagues.” 

“You were scared and in early labour. I understand.” 

In that moment, Tony starts to realise that Stephen has been beating himself up for that hook up night with Tony ever since it happened. And the omega is so messed up from birth hormones and pain meds that he starts crying and spills everything to Stephen. About how he has been doing everything alone because Rhodey is abroad and he is the only one he trusts with something like this. Stephen feels even worse because he remembers when Tony sought him out about two months after that gala, and how he was rude and dismissive. The doctor realises Tony was trying to tell him he was pregnant. 

Peter starts fussing and crying then, and Tony is so overwhelmed in that moment so Stephen offers to take Peter.

“I- he’s”

“It’s okay, trust me.”

Tony hands Peter over and Stephen holds him so gently, swaying the tiniest bit and using his voice and body to calm Peter. The Alpha rumbles in his chest so Peter can feel the vibrations while held against his chest and the pup settles almost right away. Tony looks almost adoringly at the Alpha, although he will not let him see that. After a while, Peter starts dozing off, so Stephen lays him down in the crib next to Tony’s bed

“Now it’s your turn. I have to look at your incision.” 

Tony wipes his eyes and takes a steading breath before exposing his still swollen belly and the long bandage. Stephen asks him about pain and other symptoms, and maybe even uses a bit of his pheromones still to keep Tony comfortable.

The doctor is gentle and makes sure to keep his touches as light as he can while still doing his job, and when he is done, he readjusts Tony’s hospital gown and blankets. He tells the omega to get some rest while Peter is sleeping. Tony is out like a light within moments, and Stephen heads out quietly. By the nurses’ station, Stephen bumps into his colleague Christine. 

“What?”

“You’re the pup’s Alpha.”

“How do you even know that?” Stephen basically confirms Christine’s statement with his question. 

“You never check on patients unless you have to, and even less so if they’re not your neuro patients.”

“I was in the ER when he went into labour and had to do an emergency C. I’m just following up on a patient, just like you would.” 

“Martha said she heard the patient scream that you were the Alpha.” 

And Stephen turns red in an instant and hurries off with a stupid excuse. Christine knows she will find him later and dig out more of the truth. 

Over the next few days, Stephen continues to check on Tony and how he is healing. A C-section involves cutting some abdominal muscles in half, so the recovery period is tough. Stephen becomes concerned for Tony and how he will manage with Peter alone. 

Tony could easily hire help, but Stephen does not want that. His protective Alpha instincts will not allow it, although he is not entirely aware of them. Stephen wants to take care of Tony and Peter himself, so he comes to Tony and proposes an idea of him coming to stay with them and helping out for a few weeks while Tony fully heals and gets settled with the pup. Tony is so relieved because he was so worried he was going to have to do it alone. 

The omega does not know the first thing about raising a pup and he is so worried he is going to be the worst parent ever. On top of it all, he still has to run a company and it was all so overwhelming just thinking about it. His shoulders literally sag in relief at Stephen’s proposal and he agrees gladly. Tony leaves the hospital with his feelings about Stephen being basically polar opposites compared to when he arrived a few days ago. 

Stephen does his best to empty his schedule for the next few weeks. Some appointments and surgeries he cannot get out of, but he still has enough time to look after Tony and Peter. 

At first, it is awkward. Tony lets Stephen stay in the guest room, but still they have to learn to know one another and how to interact so intimately and for long periods of time. But, then the awkwardness is slowly replaced by lingering looks and touches, late night conversation and more and more earnest laughter and joy. Peter is like the glue between them, pulling them together into the inevitable closeness that comes with parenting. It is a honeymoon phase, of sorts. But, Stephen still justifies his dedication to Tony and Peter with his profession and the duty that comes with the role as a doctor. In actuality, Stephen knows it is not entirely true, and with each day, he feels more and more protective over the omega and the pup. They are his. 

The Alpha and omega are starting to fall in love, but not exactly openly at first. Stephen is still driven by guilt and more or less expects Tony to push him away once he can take care of Peter by himself. The doctor thinks Tony would be entirely justified in doing so. But, lately Tony has been getting to know a proper Stephen, one who can be depended on, one who cares. 

The two of them have a major talk the day before Tony is done with the first part of his C-section recovery and can start working again. 

“I’d like Peter to have two parents. He deserves the whole world and I don’t know if I can give it to him alone.”

Stephen and Tony later found out that Tony was the one who first fell in love. He thought at first that Stephen was only helping out because of guilt-driven obligation, which is somewhat true, but he discovers that Stephen is a totally changed Alpha compared to when they first met. Stephen is brought to tears during their big conversation, and he finally accepts that he truly wants to be part of a family with Tony and Peter. The rest is history, and a loving one at that.

And even though Peter was a few weeks premature, he is doing amazing. He gains weight fast and is such a cute and plump pup with a bright, giggly voice. Peter outright blossoms and grows so fast, and before his parents even know it, he is running all over the penthouse and getting his grabby hands onto everything. The home is full of the sound of little feet, giggles and love proclamations. 

Stephen and Tony get married when Peter is two years old, and he is his parents’ ring bearer. 

[larcenywrites]

How would young!Tony and older Tony react upon finding you curled up in a little ball in bed whimpering and crying because your period cramps hurt so fucking bad :(?

He would would be very concerned, and with good reason. He may not know much, but nothing should hurt that bad unless it requires a doctor or something, surely 😣 and may try to recommend it, though that doesn’t exactly help right now :/ tbh he’ll definitely cuddle up to you, and will probably want to just lay on top of you if you let him 🥺 he doesn’t know if it’ll help, but he is warm and cuddly and heavy so maybe it does a little 🥺 and he’ll play with your hair or wipe away/kiss the tears on your cheeks :( he’ll probably also do a lot of research on his own to see if he can do anything! But it’s kinda hard when you don’t know exactly how it feels :( so he may feel a little shorty and useless bc if it :((

But real talk rq, it’s normal to have annoying cramping a day or two of your period, but super bad cramps (especially consistently) is not, especially if it’s also accompanied by a really heavy and/or irregular flow! I recommended starting on a vitamin D supplement + an Omega-3 (provided you are not on any blood thinners, as omega supplements can interact negatively). Of course, I can’t recommend a dosage, as that depends on many different variables like age and weight and what not, so always do research! It is always smart to talk to a trusted doctor or medical provider about awful period symptoms if available, but often times they wanna prescribe birth control first, which is fine if you’re comfortable with it and believe that it’s right for you, and also be sure to do your research on it as well as talk with the doctor! But if BC isn’t an option, many of my friends that I have recommend those supplements to have seen improvements :) though, consistence is key, and it may take 4-6 weeks to start working. I would also recommend finding a good Women’s multi vitamin (I like Garden of Life’s Multivitamin Code:Women, it says 4 a day but I take 2!) as they are created with plenty of zinc and B vitamins, which greatly nourishes the ovaries and zinc may also help suppress ovarian cyst development. I also recommend Peruvian red maca root (make sure it’s Peruvian and not the weaker Chinese version, and make sure it’s the red. I use The Maca Team company, via their website, and take 3 raw capsules a day), provided you don’t have any thyroid issues or sensitivities, but again, always be sure to do your own research and/or talk with a medical provider, and to talk with them if you have any medications or medical conditions. Maca root may be too expensive, however (especially when you’re buying it with other supplements), and multivitamins (especially the brand I use) and omega-3s can also get pricey depending on your dosage and preferred brands and where you live, but Vitamin D is often cheap and easily available, and is the best place to start, as it greatly benefits every part of the body! Another great habit to get into is making sure to work avocado, blueberries/strawberries/raspberries, spinach, and/or sweet potato into at least one meal a day, as those are considered superfoods as well as hormone balancing foods! Chicken, eggs, turkey, and low mercury fish are also very good for that, provided you are able to eat meat. Frozen and canned works just as good, as long as they don’t have too much sodium or added sugar! However, I am aware that this can be an expensive option, especially if buying with supplements. If you’ve had your blood work recently and know that the issue isn’t low levels of any vitamins or minerals, be sure to talk with the doctor, as there are some cases where BC is really your only option, but that doesn’t mean you have to take it of course. It just depends on your level of comfort with your period or with taking BC, if anything at all seems to help in any way (such as Tylenol, heat pads, etc), and whether or not you have any specific medications or known medical conditions. I also recommend non-carbonated kombucha for the bloating (among other things) 😘 provided you don’t have IBS or similar digestive distress issues, and aren’t sensitive to oxalates (in particular, getting kidney stones due to high oxalate levels). But if you’re a first timer, don’t drink more than like half a measuring cup or a single measuring cup, and don’t drink it really fast 😅 And keep in mind that while it is vegan and gluten free, there are low but existing alcohol levels, should that be an issue! And no, not enough to require an ID or to get drunk lol. Again, if you have any medications or medical conditions, always be sure to do research and/or talk with your medical care provider! And overall, be sure to stay hydrated on your period (and all the time really)! It can help with headaches and cramps, and is overall important.

I hope everyone here is 18+, but in case you aren’t, you should definitely ask a doctor before following any of this advice and also do research. Also, often times periods are most painful within the first 3-5 years of getting it, as hormones are new and constantly changing with a growing body. I also recommend you not be on this blog if this is the case 😅

I was once in a rough spot with horrible cramps to where I’d was crying or on a few occasions sick and a very heavy flow, and absent periods for up to 80 days even. It’s unfortunate how little info or care is provided to us, even by doctors :( I suffered for years until I kinda just started doing my own research and it took a good few years to get into a good spot and figure out what I needed and what I didn’t. I wish you all good health and hope you can all find the best routine and supplementation for your bodies and cycles :)

[pocket-size-cthulhu]

Last night i binge watched a bunch of "people trying period cramp simulators" videos and i got to thinking.

As fun as it is in those videos when someone with a period calmly sits through what made someone without a period writhe, and as validating as it is when some Big Tough Man is like "y'all are dealing with this??? YIKES", i feel like further education is necessary.

First of all i don't want the Men In Charge to see a video of a Woman calmly sitting through 9s and 10s on the pain indicator and turn it into benevolent patriarchy and be like "Women™ just have better pain tolerance! See it doesn't bother her at all!"

I also think it's inaccurate. Maybe I'm wrong, but i feel like i could probably deal with a period cramp simulator with relative calm. Not because i don't think it would hurt, but because it's just the pain (more on that in a second), and i know it will be over soon. But that doesn't mean that i can easily and with relative calm deal with my own period pain, or that i should have to. The point is "this freaking hurts; i should be able to take the day off or whatever."

Third and to tie everything together: some of the people in those videos were like, "woah, THIS is a period?? This is awful!" And like yes, the pain is awful (even though some people can sit through it pretty calmly). And, the pain isn't the period.

The period is also the bleeding. Worrying about hygiene. Keeping track of products. Strategizing and planning your day--and worse, your night--around hygiene. It's the cravings. It's the stomach pain (that's separate from cramps). It's the odd bowel movements. It's the sleep issues. It's the bloating and the way none of your clothes look good or feel comfortable. It's the visceral feeling of physical and emotional vulnerability. It's the severe depression. It's the cravings. It's the weird pain in different parts of the body (skin, eyes, teeth, legs). It's the way the hormones lower your emotional bullshit threshold. It's the not knowing how long the pain will last or how intense it will be. It's the cultural stigma on talking about it. It's wondering what you're going to be required to do while you're dealing with all of this. It's all of this needless (but still required for some reason) psychological strain. The cramps are just the cherry on top.

I'm not saying this so that some Man can come along and be like "wow women, I'm so sorry." I'm not that interested in sympathy. I am interested in change. Cultural change so that people who need it can get time off for their periods, and change in medicine so that the pain and other symptoms are taken seriously enough to look for better solutions.

I don't want to be seen as a badass because i live through this or whatever. The truth is I'm going to collapse in a sobbing, writhing heap on my floor at least once a month. There's nothing badass about having to live with pain. I'm only interested in making it all much, much easier to bear.

[seeminglyseph]

Aaahh.. I don’t know what I’m doing. I feel so augh. I’m trying to figure out the right balance of building up stamina and strength without accidentally triggering a fatigue relapse. And get the right timing for my IIH medication so I don’t also have relapse migraines, plus I think I had to adapt to my vyvanse increase because it increased pressure severely, but my focus and mental clarity has been really really bad on the IIH meds, and trying to get anything done when you just can’t think is just. Awful.

Plus some personal life stuff has been pretty terrible and I’ve been trying to like sort my feelings out, and trying to like. Not spiral into all of my worst feelings ever at the least opportune time ever, while also trying to actually keep on top of doctors’ appointments and holiday stuff and not being stressed as hell because like. Part of my brain is like “what if this is early signs that you also have ALS and you’re dying like your dad only faster” which probably not, my dad was 70, not 35, but my brain thinks mean things all the time.

I’ve cut out a lot of caffeine, and have been almost exclusively drinking Gatorade lately which feels wild I never thought I’d kick half of these habits. But so much of my life has shifted due to pain and the way medication has changed my actual senses. Like the fact that my sense of smell is so intense now is just. Really weird? I carry around one of those Vic’s inhaler pens because sometimes smells are just too strong to handle. I feel like I have to work harder to keep things clean just because I can’t handle the smell of things. Which is exhausting the hell outta me because I don’t have the energy to really keep up with all of it. I just start smelling things. I smell the water and our local water filtration system is actually really good. I smell the inside of my nose. I got a metal Gua Sha thing to try and do some of the sinus headache massage stuff I saw because they say it’s good for drainage? And headaches. I know some people are doing it hella wrong ‘cause they talk about toxins and weight loss and mostly it’s about like. Fluids and stuff. But when I put it in the fridge and cover my face with rose hip oil it feels really nice. I already did a drainage massage when I remembered but the little metal massage tool feels really nice. Plus the like stainless steel is easy to sterilize. The rose hip oil I have is probably mad old but whatever it hasn’t hurt yet. And I’m working on not being so dehydrated. Even though I’m drinking so much Gatorade. My meds are dehydrating. And it’s so dry out. I need to clean my humidifier, I think it sat a little long and now I’m worried about mould.

I’m worried about everything honestly. It sucks. I can’t tell what’s going on with me all the time. I think I’m hormonal, but like that doesn’t stop everything from being like… a lot all the time. And I don’t really always know what to do about it. My appetite is totally dead and I’m just trying to drink Ensure and drink Gatorade and I know I should work regular water in sometimes but I hate water and I don’t wanna drink it. I feel like a petulant child but I still just hate water. And now I can smell it somehow and it makes me like it less. And I remember throwing it up before and over and over again and it’s just. A lot. I don’t know for sure if I have POTS, the tilt table wasn’t conclusive, and the doctors haven’t confirmed it, and are still trying to get me to go for water over other things, but it’s still really a struggle. But I know hydration will make me feel better.

I just have a million symptoms for a million things that all seem like a million things that all seem kind of unclear. I feel like I’m only recently even starting to think clearly enough to even start putting any of it together enough to get answers to some of them. Even though I technically got the diagnosis last September I feel like I didn’t even start thinking at all until like a few months ago. I guess it makes a little sense, one of the symptoms is memory loss and a lack of mental clarity. But I really feel like my whole mind was clouded over. It’s frustrating.

[thetaylorfiles]

Wait, hold up! How are you "Very Old" but also "got hit with menopause early"? Which is it girlie, the math ain't mathing? I always assumed you were in your late 30s. It's cool if you don't want to get into it though, it's none of my business I know, I was just curious! Good luck with the ADHD meds btw!

So, from what I’ve learned, perimenopause is the time where you start losing hormones because your womb and eggs are winding down - no clue how to say this properly. You lose hormones and start getting awful fucking symptoms. However, if you’re getting your period still, you’re not in menopause yet. Menopause begins one year after your last period. (I hope I’m getting this all correct. It can be confounding sometimes)

I’m still getting ‘baby’ periods. It used to be a normal 5 day cycle. Now it’s one heavy day, one light day and that’s it, maybe spotting for a day. The terrible symptoms started over a year ago when I got a bladder infection that not even a urologist could get under control. For 3 months. I literally felt like I had a UTI for three months. It was hell. One of the top 3 painful/uncomfortable experiences of my life.

Also at the time I started becoming irrational, easily annoyed, sweating through my sheets every night, so much more but also I became rage-y. I’ve never felt that emotion in my life till then and the rage comes from stupid things like forgetting something. Or getting cut off in traffic. It was scary how angry I got, my body felt like I needed to hit things in order to get that anger out. I would beat up my steering wheel with my hands, punching it and only hurting myself more. But it felt like a need. I despise feeling like that. Im normally an optimistic person who’s pretty easygoing.

Menopause is hell and no one talks about it. I try to talk about it when I can because I swear, it wouldn’t be this bad if you could prepare. If our moms explained it all like our periods. It being this terrible surprise was like a gut punch. And doctors don’t believe you. It took me FIVE doctors to find one who believed me.

I’m a bit past 40. And I started getting symptoms over a year ago. So that’s why I call it early menopause (technically early perimenopause). Typically women start to get it between 45-55. I’m not there yet. And one of the reasons the docs didn’t believe me is because I was slightly young for it. The other reason is because women are woefully under treated, disbelieved, and humored unkindly when trying to get healthcare treatment. Do you know that in med school they spend one class session going over menopause? That’s a couple of hours for something that happens to 50% of the world and causes suffering to most of those women. Shouldn’t doctors get a bit more training? I could rant forever. There’s so much fucked up about women’s healthcare and not just menopause stuff.

So that’s where I am. Maybe I misspoke? Maybe it’s not early? I don’t know. I now take estrogen through a gel and a progesterone pill. Most of the time I feel normal and like myself, but that other 25% is awful. It’s like someone else is inhabiting your body. It’s not even just the pain or discomfort if whatever symptom is blessing you with it’s presence. It’s the way it changes your personality for the worse and how annoying you become to your family members who can’t possibly understand it because no one talks about it! We need to normalize menopause as much as we have normalized PMS. I need to stop talking about this now! 😂😂

And thanks! I’m on day 3. It’s just little changes but oh my god does it make a difference! I actually want to do the things that I normally have to remind myself 20 times over to do. I feel better and more clear and more up. I’m so excited for how it’s making me feel. So hard to explain but it’s this tiny pick me up in the oddest of ways.

If anyone of you guys has adhd and takes concerta, do you like it? Anything o should know? Or if you take anything else you feel like sharing. I’m open to any advice!

Sorry about the math not mathing. Hope i explained it well

[eli-wallach]

i’m honestly kinda in awe with how badly my first ever trip to the gynecologist went…

in july, i went to a gynecologist for the first time after my mom scheduled an appointment for me to have a pap smear. like before going in, i was pretty nonchalant about the whole thing because besides getting my period, i wasn’t making much use of my uterus to cause concern. however, after the pap smear, my gynecologist felt my uterus and said it was unusually hard and that it might be fibroids. he advised me to return after 2 weeks for an ultrasound to see if it really was fibroids or something else.

2 weeks have passed, i returned and took the ultrasound. i knew it was a bad sign because the person who was doing my ultrasound took a deep sigh and i became really nervous… then, i saw my gynecologist again and he confirmed that it was indeed fibroids or in my case, a grapefruit-sized fibroid (it was about 10 cm tall). he explained what fibroids are (benign tumors in the uterus) and the different types (mine was on top of the uterus, which explains why i wasn’t suffering from any symptoms). afterwards, he explained that i have to get mine removed because i was too young for fibroids and that the fibroid was gonna continue growing due to my hormones. he recommended a robotic myomectomy (which was the surgery i ended up getting) and three surgeons (all very experienced but have different wait times and methods). i chose the one with the best waiting time because i wanted the fibroid removed asap.

so more time has passed and i went to the surgeon’s office where it was so incredibly busy that i didn’t see until a hour in. when i did saw my surgeon, he did a pelvic examination and confirmed the same thing my gynecologist said and seconded his opinion. so i set up my surgery and the follow up appointment and waited…

while i waited, i became depressed because my gyn said that i would have to resort to a c-section if i ever wanted kids because the muscles in my uterus would be weakened afterwards (in which i mean no disrespect toward people had c-sections or were born via c-section, it’s just that i felt kinda off that’s it) also the surgeon’s office gave me preop instructions to read which i did. i also had to do bloodwork in the hospital i was gonna have the surgery in 3 days before and they gave a whole bunch of instructions, which were super specific (one of them was i had to drink gatorade but not the red one the night before the surgery and one hour before i arrived at the hospital).

so after i done the bloodwork, the hospital later called me to give the arrival time. they told me to arrive at 5:30 AM (like in the morning!). i was surprised because it was so early but i felt like i couldn’t rearrange my time so 5:30 am it was.

and then the day of the surgery arrived… i couldn’t sleep at all but i was ready, i took a shower with the special soap they wanted me to use (hibiclens), and my mom and i left to go to the hospital at around 4:40 am. until, the hospital called me and told me there was a slight delay because the robot that was going to do the surgery was having problems. so they changed it to 8 am which was slightly better because my mom could drop off my baby bro off the bus. but it was also bad because it was rush hour and traffic suckeddddd

i ended up being 15 minutes late, but i finally arrived to the hospital’s surgery unit. i went through all the pre-procedure procedures and waited til around 1:30 pm to finally have the surgery. i was so nervous that my high blood pressure and heart rate were pretty high.

then the procedure was beginning, my nurse and her helpers gave me a couple of pain medications early on so that it would be working during the procedure. and then, i was whisked off onto the operating table where i was given general anesthesia and off to sleep i went…

afterwards, i woke up in the recovery room, i was told that the procedure was a success which was good. i was very out of it (which you tell by the selfie i posted lol), in a lot pain, and felt like i was on my period (which was normal). after gaining my consciousness bit by bit, i had a couple of nurses taking care of me and handed me graham crackers to eat and some apple juice to drink (in which i was excited because i love snacks and juice). the only bad thing was that after drinking all that juice, i had to pee and i was in pain so i had to have two nurses walk me to the restroom. i was so tired and i felt so nauseous in the bathroom, i felt like throwing up (i didn’t though) and i could barely keep my head up. and then, i was placed on a recliner, getting ready to home. one of the nurses helped me get ready and gave me 4 different kinds of pain medications, an instruction packet, and free grippy socks :D

afterwards, i sat on a wheelchair and one of the doctors helped escort me out of the building and waited with me outside while my mom, who was sitting in the lounge, got the car. i got in the car with all my stuff and that was the end of that!

i know this post is super long but i just wanted to share my whole experience with fibroids and the myomectomy with you guys and provide a lot of context regarding that hospital selfie i posted. all the medical professionals i met during the whole thing were very kind and very professional and helped me a lot even i was a bit lost and a nervous wreck. i’m outta commission for about 6 weeks and i’m in some pain but, i’m getting better bit by bit and that’s all that matters!

thanks again to everyone who supported me along the way! 💖💖💖

and psa: see a gynecologist if you can because even if you don’t have cervical cancer, there could be other issues regarding your uterus that you may had never heard about, as i have learned.

[buzzerbeaterbin]

My original relationship with protein started as a too-much-of-a-good-thing-is-bad-for-you type deal (most americans overeat period, including protein) due to mindless eating behaviors and then the instant gratification from buffet-style dining halls in college. I overcorrected for this during my stint with uncompromising veganism, leading me to experience a host of maladaptive symptoms (a story on its own for another time) and recognizing that I should probably do something about that, and then I met a very careless personal trainer who told me that I would not, in fact, ever be able to accomplish my muscle mass goals as a vegan. I promptly ate my first bite of salmon in over a year that afternoon, which was the beginning of the end of whatever sort of metabolic regulation my body had maintained up until then (rip). My post-grad year in Ithaca was a long year of on-and-off veganism until I finally realized my gut microbiome had put its foot down to violently tell me that it doesn't like animal protein. I say all of this to illustrate the extremes that I had put myself through over the past few years. This past post bac year was definitely more stable in this regard, sure, but much worse in other ways, so who's to say that it was a W in the grand scheme of things?

I resisted protein powder for the longest time, more than anything else. Because I've always been in constant flux with nourishing my body enough or too much, I never found a regular way to incorporate it into my diet. This and, more significantly, the mental gymnastics I had to perform; the way people glorified this extremely processed product in the name of fitness always rang a bit paradoxical to me. The vegan diet dogma taught me many things, good and bad, but one of the good was that humans are mostly meant to consume whole foods - all of the fiber, starch, and micronutrients that are packaged alongside the fleshy, chewy highlights of, for example, a single kernel of corn, as opposed to just its sugar molecules that are granted an engineered shortcut to our brain (looking at HFCS). I had ingrained in my head that practicing balance and variety would sort most things out naturally, and to betray that principle with a mysterious powder often accused of heavy metal contamination definitely came with mental barriers. On top of that, THE SHIT ALWAYS TASTED AWFUL. There is a lot of sacrifice and discipline that comes with the process of improving your fitness, but goddamn, taking away the joy of eating feels criminal and like a slippery slope to some disordered eating, which plenty of "fit people" have problems with anyway.

I still stand by these criticisms. In an ideal world, everybody would be handed the perfect variation of fruits and vegetables and legumes and spices that comes with not too much but also not too little protein composition, which they would choose to cook up at their leisure by listening to their finely-tuned hunger cues and anabolic windows, set by efficient metabolic systems and pristine hormonal regulation. In this world, everyone would agree with my criticisms and nobody would bat an eye at the at-times-questionable food science invention that is protein powder. But over the years I've truly sat with the pressure that humans are facing in their every day lives - impossibly paced schedules that require us to compensate for sleep deprivation with caffeine and for-profit food systems that pump out cheaply-produced junk with empty calories, just to name a few. My luxury when studying nutrition for the first time in 2020 was existing as a student in a socioeconomic bracket that allowed me to practically live in this ideal world until the world began to open up again slowly. Today, three years later, I've practically flipped the circumstances by pursuing arguably one of the most demanding career paths I possibly could have chosen. My nutrition will on many days be completely out of my hands, along with most things. I guess for the time being, a processed powder incorporated into my regular routine gives me the reassurance that, at the very least, I'm hitting my macros for the day. One less thing to think about.

I was shocked to find out that the one I finally settled on was nearly unanimously hated for how bad it tastes, when I thought for once, it tasted like normal food with no weird ass aftertaste. I try to drink a protein shake once a day using the naked pea - i love it because it's void of the classic sugar alternatives/preservatives that a lot of other powders have. I'm not necessarily opposed to consuming such things in moderation but given that in a good week I'm drinking this every day, I thought it was important to keep it as natural as possible. Although there is some discrepancy because of their sodium levels apparently due to their filtration process or something similar...will have to look into that more when I have more bandwidth. Based on what I know as of now, it's the most cost efficient, natural, and best tasting (clearly subjective) option in the market today. When I drink it with just milk and 2 scoops of PB2, it's vaguely similar to the misugaru latte, a drink my grandma used to make for me when I was a weeee little baby still living in buff. Perhaps this nostalgic touch is just enough to let me tolerate an otherwise admittedly bitter flavor (though honestly, I'd prefer this than ghost which might taste better but has just as much sugar as a candy bar. If I wanted proteinless calories - which I often do - I would much rather commit to indulging and just eat the candy bar).

I'm hoping to regulate my eating schedule a little bit more by the time school starts so I don't have to really think about it during the inevitably busy days to come and so I can fit in these extra grams of protein on a daily basis. I've often felt too full this summer to squeeze in a drink - which, with everything ideally included, ends being 300 calories - pretty heavy and filling considering 1 cup of fruit juice is ~100 and already feels like too much sometimes after a satiating meal. It's too soon to tell if's had any impact on my athletic performance/progress, so tbd :)