#with silly hijinks in which hilarity ensues

[peachyanime]

i think i am right

I wanna know who your favorite vinsmoke sibling is so bad actually please tell me 👀✨

My friend and my brother laughed at me when I told them my favorite Vinsmoke is Niji, and I genuinely was embarrassed that day because I didn't really know much about him at the time (I think I had only watched a few eps of WCI) and it's pretty clear in the show that he's, uh, the worst of the Vinsmokes. And by "the worst" I mean: The one who's portrayed as the worst because he's the most active one when it comes to abuse and supremacism within the family line. Unlike Ichiji (who's more serious) and Yonji (who's more playful, somehow) Niji is the one who has to actually fight for a role in his family and that's why I think he's so fucking annoying all the damn time. I hate him. I love him. I want to hug him. But also I wouldn't mind punching him very, very hard. I have mixed feelings, but yeah, Niji is my favorite Vinsmoke. And you haven't asked why, but I feel the need to do some sort of mini argument about this because I am a very resentful person and I want to show my friend and my brother that Niji is actually a very interesting character!! And my fiancé thinks I just like him because he's hot, and she's right but only like a 20%. Maybe 40%.

I will try to put my thoughts into words, but it's pretty difficult because I have a lot of things to say about this blue evil gremlin.

I like Niji the most because I think he is, between the three brothers, the one who shows feelings and ambitions outside their emotionless selves the most. I know they technically are the same, but I don't think so (btw, please assume I'm not including Reiju in this text because she's canonically different from them and I'm just referring to the brothers).

As I mentioned before, I think Niji is the one brother who is the most annoying and evil because he feels the need to stand out. Ichiji is serious, and calculative and has a secure place in the family. He is the number one, even if Reiju is the oldest (I would like to talk more about how Reiju, being a woman, even if she's the oldest, she's the number 0. Because she is the oldest but she's a woman, so she obviously doesn't and would not be able to wear the number 1 like a man would. She is the oldest and yet, she has less significance in the family line than Ichiji. But, yeah, this is something that has nothing to do with Niji, sorry). Ichiji, like all of his siblings, wants recognition from his father, but he doesn't have to try as hard as the others to be impressive because he is, after all, the oldest. The typical "older sibling in an abusive household who has to deal with all the bullshit to protect their siblings"? That's something Reiju took over. That's Reiju's responsibility as the oldest and the woman. Ichiji literally doesn't have to do anything besides leading the team and being the evil, emotionless machine his father created. That does not mean that I don't think he could be able to develop more feelings, because I think he could and I love the concept of him being the first one to protest against Judge's behavior, but you get me. When you're the oldest brother with an even older sister, your responsibilities are pretty limited. So he doesn't have to be anything but there and himself.

Yonji, on the other hand... He is the youngest. Even younger than Sanji. He doesn't have to try, because Niji and Sanji should be the ones to do so. Little siblings are not expected to do much besides existing because irl parents are usually tired of raising children and they end up either getting neglected or seen as decoration. As a little sibling myself I can confirm that these things affect really badly to your brain growing up, but I got a more Sanji treatment so I can't speak for Yonji here. The thing I can say, though, is that in comparison to Niji, Yonji is just there. He's silly and goofy. He's funny. He's dumb. He has the excuse of being the little one to act that way. Getting lost eating or doing whatever. Even the fact that his powers are more physically focused instead of power/intelligence centered shows that he can just punch away his issues. He's the gym bro of the siblings. Don't expect much from him. <- Thing that's often said about little siblings, btw, and affects real fucking badly in early teenage years. The fact that he's portrayed like that is so on point tbh but after all, they don't have high expectations for him, so little to no effort is everything he does.

Then there's Niji, of course. My favorite. Love him. Hate him. Whatever. Niji is the middle child. And God, do I have to say things about middle siblings.

The thing about Niji is that he actually has to try and make a name for himself in the family because otherwise he'll probably get forgotten. I often wonder if he had that fear of becoming the next Sanji once he "died" (he's the only one genuinely asking if Sanji died on them before Yonji and Ichiji say they don't care) because his role is not as noticeable as the others. Reiju is the woman, Ichiji is the successor, Sanji is the weakling getting bullied (being technically one of the little siblings but still being in a limbo of middle/youngest because the little one is Yonji), and Yonji is the little one. Then... What's Niji?

Niji needs Sanji way more than he's willing to admit, and I love that. I absolutely love how he's written because he constantly shows that he needs Sanji, through both words and actions. He needs him because without Sanji's existence -without Niji being his bully- Niji is nothing but number 2. And there's nothing more frustrating than being the number two when it comes to family hierarchy. Not going to mention every little thing he does, but as I said, I love how well-written he is. He's the sibling Oda uses the most to show the abuse Sanji went through, but that's only because Niji is the only one who needs to do that. Niji is the one to talk to Sanji first, all the damn time. He gets angry when Sanji doesn't respond. He gets angry because Sanji can't be bullied anymore. He gets angry out of fear, in my opinion, because if the weakling can't get abused anymore, then he's not worth anything. If Sanji isn't the third, the second one is left alone. 2 can't fight 1 because 1 has the protection of starting the line. And 2 can't fight 4 because there's a missing link that keeps 2 from 4. So Niji is mad at Sanji because Sanji isn't the same weak crybaby he used to be, and he can't use him anymore to be secure and safe.

That's fucking horrifying when it comes to family hierarchy.

I like Niji because, despite being an asshole, he has reasons to be like that. First of all, because his father literally made him this way. But also, the little feelings he has (selfish emotions, yes, evil. But they're feelings, anyway. Urges. He's supposed to be emotionless and yet he knows how Sanji feels enough to use that to his advantage) are used as a way to feel superior and safe because he feels inferior. I think he's the one showing more emotions out of the three, even if those emotions aren't healthy or good and it's just him being angry all the time. That means that if he has urges and needs like that, even if he doesn't fear his own death, he could end up developing more and more empathy. His type of empathy comes from a place of fear. He feels what Sanji feels. And it's not that he doesn't care (I mean, I am aware that he technically doesn't, but let me dream) but it's just convenient for him not to care and keep bullying him to secure his place in the family.

Also pointing out that I like Niji because, being the one who says he hates Sanji the most, he's the one to protect him with his own body when that scene of the siblings helping Sanji escape happens. The others only clear the way, Niji stays with him. There's a really cool post about this on Niji's tag somewhere!!! I personally think he does this because, as that post said: Niji keeps seeing Sanji as weak, instead of believing in him enough to just clear the way. He protects him because he thinks he can't protect himself. Because he's weak.

And yes, it might sound offensive and emotionless and it doesn't make Niji a better person. But it makes him an older brother. Believing in Sanji would be great, but thinking that he's weak and needs protection after years of projecting on him only shows that the weak one is Niji. That he wants and is willing to protect his brother, too. If he didn't care about his well-being he would've just cleared the way for him, not caring about what could've happened to Sanji. But he goes all the way to help him out and protect him longer than the others did. Idk. I find that a very beautiful way of ending their relationship.

All of this being said, I have to be honest with you: When I said I liked Niji for the first time I only did it because people around me kept saying he was the worst one and it bothered me because I found his design pretty fucking cool. And tbh when he started being an actual character? I loved him even more. Because during WCI he's a fucking asshole but the way he acts towards Sanji is wanting to get a response from him, and I just find that so curious and complex... Like, if he just wanted to be evil he'd be more the Doflamingo type. But Niji looks for a response in Sanji's eyes. He wants to feel powerful because he knows he isn't.

And also, well, he's very cute and I like his hair a lot and he makes me furious sometimes which is great because if a character doesn't make you want to punch him at one point, is he really a good character? Look at him! He deserves to get slapped in the face. But also, I would love to kiss him afterward. What's that Olivia Rodrigo lyric? Ah, yes: "I wanna break his heart, then be the one to stitch it up. Wanna kiss his face with an uppercut." That's how I feel about him.

I really hope it's obvious, with all of this, that "Succession" is one of my favorite TV Shows, because I could go on and on and on (and nobody would listen but idc) about how the Vinsmokes are just the Roy family. Both One Piece and Succession deal with family in which hierarchy is crucial in a very specific and accurate way. It makes me sick. I love it.

Anyway, have some pics of my blue idiot:

I want to hit him in the head with a baseball bat.

[is0gild]

Ice Cream and Fire Oven Pizza - Bonus Chapter 3

Pairing: Elsa x Lea/Axel || Side Pairing: Riku x OC

Summary: Modern AU. She's an introvert ball of nerves who works at Ice Palace, a mall food court ice cream shop. He's the outgoing, sassy goofball who works at the Pizza Planet across the way. Hilarity, snark, and fluffy romcom hijinks ensue.

Word Count: 7,838

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

Credit for super friggin’ cute and super friggin’ amazing cover art goes to the super friggin’ talented ky-jane here on tumblr!

"Are you sure we're allowed to do this?"

Lea tossed me a grin over his shoulder, giving my hand a small, reassuring squeeze as he pushed through the door and led me inside. "Course! Trust me, I've done it dozens of times. It's called auditing a class," he whispered.

"Oh," I breathed softly, taking a second to glance around the theater we'd just stepped into, which was slightly bigger and nicer than the Sunset Hill Auditorium. Class was already in session it seemed, with the teacher (who luckily hadn't appeared to notice us sneaking in) up on the stage and currently mid-lecture to the smattering of students dotted across the audience seating. I felt Lea tugging my hand again and I followed him as we ducked into the back row, gingerly slipping by in front of a couple people occupying the end chairs.

I'd of course heard of auditing a class, but had never actually done it before, so I didn't really know what it entailed. Still, I at least had a guess at an idea of how it was supposed to work. "...so you contacted the professor and got his okay for us to be here then?"

"Nah," he chose a pair of empty seats towards the middle, plopping down into one. "Don't need to, ya just show up."

My lips pursed to one side as I lowered myself into the one next to him. "...now that doesn't sound right," I muttered as my fingers absently fidgeted with the zipper on the sleeve of his leather jacket that I was wearing.

With a snerk, he settled his elbow on the armrest between us and propped his chin on his knuckles as he eyed me. "Look, did you or did you not say how much ya'd like it if you could get a sneak peak at Twilight U's Intro to Acting course before deciding if you were gonna enroll?"

"Well yes I did, but-"

"Then don't look a gift audit in the mouth, dollface," his fingers tweaked my nose. Still, I frowned uncertainly. With a chuckle, he slung an arm around my shoulders, hugging me into his side and smoothing a hand up and down my arm as he pressed a kiss to my temple. "Relax, we're fine. Just remember, this guy? Right here?" he jabbed a thumb into his collarbone. "Done it hundreds o' times, so I know my shit."

I squinted up at him, whispering, "...you said dozens of times a second ago."

"Nu-uh, maybe it's 'bout time ya had your ears checked. Ah, for the hearing to already be going in one so young such as yourself. Such a tragedy," he sighed, still keeping his voice low as he clasped a hand to his chest, fingers splayed. "My heart, it weeps for you, lil one."

"Whatever," I gave a quiet scoff, rolling my eyes.

Right then and there, I should've stopped talking and paid attention to the lecture.

And I tried. Believe me, I really did try. I needed to be listening to whatever it was the professor was saying. That was the whole point of being here after all, wasn't it?

And yet-

" ...pretty sure you needed to ask the professor first," I mumbled out of the corner of my mouth.

"Shh," Lea held a finger up to his smirking lips, his eyes glued to the lecturer as he slouched down into his seat now. "Some of us are trying to learn here."

I narrowed my gaze over at him. "...what are you doing?"

He turned his head towards me, giving me a flat look. "Didja not hear what I just said? Wow, maybe we really do gotta look into getting you a hearing aid, grannie."

My hand lightly shoved his shoulder. "No, I mean it looks like you're slouching."

"Seems your vision's still twenty-twenty. Sweet, least ya got that going for ya."

My eyelids drooped, "It would almost seem as if you don't want to be seen. One might even go so far as to say you look like you're trying to hide."

"An astute observation," was all he said with a noncommittal little shrug.

Leaning away from him slightly, I crossed my arms. "If it's okay for us to be here, why oh why then, pray tell, would you be worried about being spotted?"

Slumping down even deeper into his chair, he gave a lazy, dismissive wave of his hand, "We don't want to draw attention to ourselves and interrupt the class. It's a matter of course auditing etiquette, El. I'd know," he grinned and winked at me, "done it thousands of times."

"And the number keeps growing," I shook my head with a derisive snort. "What, are you auditing all these classes even as we speak?"

"Why yes, yes I am. Wait for it…" he held up a finger and paused for a couple beats. Then, "Bam. Just audited another one."

I facepalmed, "You're ridiculous."

"Bam, bam. Two more down. Lookit me go, I'm a course auditing wiz!"

"I'm rethinking taking this class," I grumbled under my breath.

Lea jolted, sitting up straighter, "Wha-? Aw c'mon, we were gonna take it together though!"

I shot him a rueful grin. "That's why I'm rethinking it. You're too distracting."

Smiling, he ducked down next to my ear and whispered, "You mispronounced the word delightful. Don't worry, babe, it happens to the best of us."

I was this close to smacking his arm when a throat cleared loudly in front of us. We both stiffened and froze before slowly turning our gazes towards the source.

A tall, lanky man eccentrically dressed in purples and yellows who hadn't been there a second ago was now in the row before us, knees perched on his seat cushion with him backwards in the chair so he could face us. Elbows propped on the backrest, his shoulder-length black hair framed his smirking face as he rested his goateed chin in his palms and simply watched the two of us.

And it was just suddenly coming to my attention that all eyes in the theater were on us now and the whole place had fallen eerily quiet.

Maybe because the professor was no longer talking on stage.

Maybe because he was the man now directly in front of us with a bright grin and predatory gleam in his eye.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," he batted his eyelashes at us, his toothy smile stretching even bigger. "How rude of me to interrupt you while you're talking. Please, do go on!"

"We're done!" Lea chirped back, mirroring the man's expression. "Don't mind us back here, we're just auditing the course."

"Ah! Auditing the course, I see, I see! Well that explains it!" he perked up with a chuckle. "Just if you could then, my dear boy, answer me one simple lil question… who am I?"

I sensed a trap.

One that I might be able to sneak my way out of, given the lecturer's full attention seemed to be on Lea at the moment.

I discreetly moved over one chair.

"Pop quizzing me already, eh Teach? Pft," Lea waved a dismissive hand. "That one's a no brainer. You're the professor!"

"No, no," he hummed a small laugh and waggled his index finger. "Who am I?"

"Oh, I see." Lea squinted at him with a frown, "...well, that's a rather deep and complex question. Did we wander into a Psych class by mistake?"

We? What is this "we" business? Oh-ho no, you're on your own, bucko.

I quietly slipped over into the next seat.

A tiny, amused huff escaped the man's nose. "No, silly boy. My name. What is it?"

One corner of his lips quirking, Lea gave a small shrug, "Well if even you don't know, I'm not sure how you expect me to help ya with that one."

He shook his head and tsked several times. But then his face immediately lit back up once more as he placed a hand over his breast and slowly enunciated, "Clopin Trouillefou."

Lea's eyes widened. "Shit, you having a stroke there, buddy?"

"...it's my name."

To Lea's credit, while "Clopin" deceptively reads like it only has two syllables, the professor had said it in a way that somehow stretched it out to four and-

...and why am I wasting valuable seat moving time by explaining this right now?

I made up for it by pulling the rather slick maneuver (if I do say so myself) of shifting over two chairs.

"Something you'd know if you'd audited correctly and contacted me first," Professor Trouillefou tacked on in a lightly chiding singsong.

Ha! I knew it!

My chair scooching became a tad smug as I crept over to the next.

"Ya know what, I actually did? Was just testing ya." Lea shot him a double thumbs up, "Well done, my dude. A-plus!"

He laughed, "Nice try, my dear boy, but I'm pretty sure I'd remember you if we'd spoken previously."

Lea heaved a dramatic sigh, "Woulda thought so too and to be perfectly honest, Clarabelle, I-"

"Clopin," he corrected dryly.

"Right. To be perfectly honest, Clip-Clop, I'm a lil hurt that ya didn't. But ya know what?" he flashed a huge blinding smile. "I'mma let ya slide on this one, bygones and whatnot. Just don't let it happen again!"

One more seat over and I was as far as I could go. I was now sitting next to the pair of students at the end of the row that we'd passed on the way in. Aka my new pals. That redheaded nutjob over there? The one who seemed to be taking perverse pleasure in pushing the professor's buttons and was probably nano seconds away from getting kicked out? Yeah, no, zero clue who that was. Never seen him before in my life, and I certainly hadn't shown up with him. No, I'd come here with my two friends here, Chet and um… Karen.

...yeah, they looked like they could be a Chet and a Karen, so that's what I'm going with.

"You're too kind," the professor deadpanned before his lips took on a wicked upward curve. "Well then, since I'm clearly mistaken here and you obviously did in fact contact me, I've no doubt in my mind that you've also paid to audit my course?"

Both eyebrows shot up Lea's forehead. "Crap, we hafta pay?! What the hell then is even the point of auditing?!"

His sinister grin twitched wider and he said in a sickeningly sweet tone, "Get. Out. Now." He then pointed a finger directly at me, "You too."

I stiffened.

Fudge.

"What? No, I-" my voice broke in a squeak. Clearing my throat and plastering on my sincerest teacher's pet smile, I tried again, "No, I don't know him. He just sat next to me and started bothering me."

"Traitor," Lea hissed at me.

I ignored him, still addressing the professor. "I'm actually here with my friends," I leaned slightly towards said friends. "Isn't that right, Chet?"

Ah, Chet... my ol' chum, my ol' buddy, mi amigo, my-

"Er… my name's not Chet."

...you're dead to me, Chet.

"Alright, let's go, you two," Professor Trouillefou put one hand on the backrest of his chair and vaulted himself over it into our row. He then yanked Lea up out of his seat and started dragging him by the scruff of his shirt towards the aisle. As they passed where I was sitting, he pulled me up to my feet as well and kept going, towing me by the wrist.

Lea staggered along, trying to dig in his heels, "Aw, c'mon, man! Throw me out if ya gotta, but can't you give her a pass at least? She's totally innocent!"

"Which is the worst crime of all!" the lecturer shot back gleefully, not breaking stride.

We were almost to the doors leading back outside. Heart thudding and desperate not to be forcibly removed from the class, I blurted out, "We're planning to take the course next semester!"

At that, the professor slowed, glancing back at me with one eyebrow cocked. "Pardon?"

...wow, that actually worked?!

Swallowing hard, I gave a small, hesitant nod. "We only… we stopped by today just for a quick peek. We, um… wanted to know what we would be getting ourselves into, if… if that's okay? That is, uh… p-please?"

He didn't answer at first, his gaze just darting back and forth between Lea and me several times, eyes calculating. Then he beamed so big and so abruptly, it startled a small jump out of me. "Well, why didn't you just say so?!" Before I even knew what was happening, he'd shifted his hold on the both of us to instead grab Lea's hand in one of his and my hand in the other before he happily skipped - yes, friggin' skipped - off towards the front of the theater with us stumbling behind him. "Come one, come all, class!" he gave a boisterous trill. "Up on the stage for warm-ups, everyone!"

Oh dear, what had I just gotten myself into?

Maybe just getting kicked out would have been the better call.

As he led us onto the stage, my feet tripping over the steps the whole way, I stammered out, "Th-thank you, I really ah… appreciate this opportunity, b-but I was thinking we could maybe more just, hrm… observe?"

The teacher gave a booming scoff as he pulled us to a stop, the rest of the students in the theater filing up the stairs as well to join us. "Don't be silly, you don't observe an acting class!" He paused before declaring with dramatic emphasis, "You act an acting class!"

Oh.

Well then… my mistake.

"Gather 'round, boys and girls, we've got ourselves some fresh meat to play with today!" Professor Trouillefou cackled as he finally released Lea and me with a small shove towards the center of the ring of students grouped up with us now. Producing (from where, I know not) what looked to be some sort of theater prop in the form of a long scepter with round jingle bells dangling from the top end, he tapped it to his shoulder pensively as he asked, "Now, what lil drama exercise should we use to break in our sweet, young, starry-eyed would-be thespians here with, hm?"

One undergrad's hand shot up as she called out, "Topsy Turvy?"

"Court of Miracles?" came another suggestion from somewhere else in the small crowd.

"Hush, let's not throw them in the deep end right out the gate! There's no need to upstage each other for the toughest game, we wouldn't want it to be curtains for the newbies so soon! Heh… lil theater humor for you there," the professor chuckled with a wink. "No, I was thinking we could warm up with something a lil easier, something like… ah, yes! How 'bout a rousing game of Stroking the Animal?"

Lea snerked beside me, crossing his arms, "Dirty. Didn't realize we were in that kind of class."

That earned him a bonk to the skull from the jingly scepter.

Flashing his pearly whites, the teacher went on as if he hadn't been interrupted, "Stroking the Animal is an excellent lil game for drama beginners! Each of you are going to pair up and choose some sort of beastie - secretly, mind you, don't tell your partner! Then you'll each take turns acting out holding your critter, petting it, caring for it - not saying a word, just purely miming - until your partner correctly guesses what it's supposed to be."

"So… it's kind of like charades?" I asked slowly.

With a triumphant point of the jingly scepter in my direction, he proclaimed, "Precisely, my dear, precisely! Now everyone, take a minute to decide on an animal while you find your partners! Hop to it, chop chop!"

"Dibs on my acting buddy!" Lea snagged my hand and raised it high, showing he'd staked claim.

As the rest of the students began pairing off around us, I scrunched up my nose and muttered, "I'm terrible at charades."

"What?!" his brow furrowed. "But charades is just kinda, sorta acting, isn't it? And you love acting!"

"Yes, acting. Musicals, plays, scripts," I emphasized, my hands twisting at my braid momentarily before restlessly shifting back to fiddling with the sleeve zipper once more. "You know, lines and directions I can memorize and follow. Charades is more like improv's distant cousin twice removed. I hate improv… whenever I'm put on the spot like that, I just sort of freeze up and draw a complete blank. So yeah, I'm not exactly the biggest fan of charades. It's a game that just makes me feel silly and-"

"Time's up!" A ringing filled the air, coming from the dreaded jingly scepter. I was really beginning to hate that noisy little stick. Once Professor Trouillefou had everyone's attention back on him, he called out, "Begin!"

Crud, I hadn't even picked an animal yet!

Alright, brain, go time! Think, think, think! Conjure me up a creature! Go on, spit out the first thing you can think of! Just give me something! Anything!

Naked mole-rat!

...okay, maybe not that one.

We're looking for something nice, simple and obvious here, something that'll only take seconds to guess, something like a… a cat! Yes! Perfect!

Hey, don't judge me! It's not like I was trying to earn points for creativity here, I just wanted to get this ridiculous game over and done with quickly!

The other students had already begun. Not wanting to fall behind, I hastily struck up a finger to Lea to indicate I was ready. Then I looked away with a frown, my hands hovering in uncertainty for a few seconds. Okay, a cat… how do I show that I have a cat? Grimacing, I awkwardly scooped one arm in front of me like I was cradling something close to my belly and used my other hand to start petting the air where its imaginary head would be.

Eh, good enough, right?

Lea's face brightened, "Oh, a puppy!"

Alright, close! Come on, you got this. Not a dog, but a…

He squinted. "...bunny?"

...sorry, not the answer we were looking for here. Would the contestant care to venture another guess? Third times a charm, after all! Surely he'll get it this-

"Porcupine!"

Wait, what?

"Snake!"

For the love of… in what possible universe could the make-believe thing in my arms ever be a friggin' snake?!

"Turtle? Penguin! Oo-oo, this has to be it… hyena! No? Armadillo? Puffin! Skunk! Capybara!"

Okay, now the jerk was just doing this on purpose to mess with me.

"Naked mole-rat!"

Are you kidding me?! Shoot, I should have gone with my first instinct!

Narrowing my eyes at him, I made a growling little huff in my throat and started petting at the pretend feline's head more aggressively.

As if that would actually help.

Did I mention how completely bad at charades I was?

"El, ya gotta give me something to work with here," Lea groaned, rubbing at the nape of his neck. "I mean c'mon, you're just petting air there, that doesn't tell me any-" he cut himself off, blinking a couple times. Then he snapped his fingers with a victorious smile, "Ah-ha! Got it!"

My whole body froze.

Wait, did he really?

"Air elemental! No, no, air spirit!"

Gah, that's not even a real animal, you dork!

I scowled at him, my hands moving to strangle the air in his direction as I pictured his throat between my fingers.

He looked horrified. "Don't do that to the poor creature! That's animal abuse!"

I give up! I puffed out a loud sigh, tossing my hands in defeat.

"Well now ya just dropped the critter." He gave a soft tsk. "Worst. Pet owner. Ever. Well… I mean, unless of course it's a cat, then that's fine cuz it'd just land on its-"

"Ah!" My heart leapt in delight. "Yes! That's it!" I laughed, barreling into his chest and hugging him around the waist.

He grunted softly from the impact, then quirked an eyebrow down at me. "Are you serious? Ya couldn't get me to guess cat? Well shit, babe, you really do suck at this game! If we ever play charades in the future, Anna will be the one who gets stuck with your undeniably cute but useless butt on her team."

Face pinching, I poked him where he was ticklish just below the rib cage.

"Hey, no fair!" he squirmed, jumping away from me. Then clearing his throat, he straightened up with a dignified sniff and grinned, "Alright, my turn now!"

...oh yeah. He gets a turn too.

I completely forgot that part.

Well fudge, I should have simply let him go first and saved myself the mini panic attack.

Lea closed his eyes and bowed his head, his hands rising and falling with a deep inhale and slow exhale. He was clearly and quite visibly honing, as if preparing to act out some great Shakespearean monologue. Finally, he snapped into action. He flourished his arms to one side, as if proudly presenting something standing next to him. Then his hand moved to start stroking empty space somewhere at about his eye-level.

Okay... so the mystery animal was tall.

I tipped my head to one side. "...a horse? A camel?"

He raised his hand up higher so it was above his head, still petting away.

Even bigger, huh?

"Ostrich?" I wrinkled my nose. "Moose? Giraffe?"

Lea went up onto his tippy-toes, his arm stretched as far as he could reach and fingers now… possibly giving under-chin scritches? Maybe?

Jeez, just how huge was this thing?

I shook my head with a tiny, unsure, "...whale?"

He lowered back down onto his heels, resuming the stroking at a height not quite as far up there, but still above his head.

Alright, so… what was smaller than a whale, but bigger than a giraffe?

"...a really, really big giraffe?"

Elsa, Queen of Thinking Outside The Box.

His eyelids drooped. But seemingly undeterred, he set about moving over to where I'd roughly guess would be the side of this ginormous creature. He mimed climbing up it and slinging his leg over its back.

Big and rideable, huh?

"Ah! A… A… An elephant!" I stammered to get out past my sudden excitement.

Lea was still going, bending forward to give his mount a couple pats on the shoulder (I guess?) before pointing up. Then he stretched his arms out wide to either side of him like he was… soaring?

"A flying elephant!"

Wait, no, that'd just be silly.

We were looking for a real animal here. A large animal that could apparently fly. It had to be some kind of bird, right? But… pretty sure there weren't any elephant-sized birds out there in the world… were there?

Note to self: google "elephant-sized bird" later.

Tuning back into reality, I realized Lea had moved onto showing me something else now. It seemed he'd dismounted and returned to petting the thing's… head, maybe? But then he elicited a tiny, pained tch and retracted his finger like he'd been burned. But no, that couldn't be right… no animals in actual existence burned people, so what could it… oh! It must have just bitten him… yes, that'd make more sense!

Now he was looking at the ground and rubbing his hands together before turning his palms forward, holding them there for a few seconds. Then he balled both hands, stacking one on top of the other and lifting the top one up in a long, straight line. With one hand still fisted, he then cupped the other upward and arced it over until it was upside down a few feet over his fist. Finally, he stretched his fist out in front of him while using his other hand to occasionally poke and pinch at the air above said fist.

I stared blankly at him. "...yeah, no, you've lost me."

The jingly scepter rang out loudly as the professor shook it high above his head, announcing, "Game over, boys and girls!"

Lea snorted and sighed, "Clearly I was roasting marshmallows there."

"...clearly." Not. "But why?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Well what else am I gonna do with the fire that my good, big dragon boi here breathed for me?" he asked, once again gesturing to the vacant spot next to him.

"A dragon?" I huffed, marching over to him to glare down (or rather up I suppose) my nose at him. "You were supposed to pick a real animal."

He grinned and folded his arms beneath his chest. "Teach never said it hadta be real."

I blinked, then glanced towards Professor Trouillefou, who shrugged and echoed, "Never said it had to be real."

"Told ya!" Lea razzed his tongue at me.

In retaliation, my hand shot out to tickle him again, but he caught it. "Ha! Too slow!" he crowed, smirking as he shifted his hold to lace our fingers together.

So instead I just tickled him with my other hand.

He spasmed, hissing swear words under in breath before scrambling to get out of my reach. I crossed my arms and - in peak maturity, mind you - razzed my tongue back at him before looking away with a small harrumph.

The professor clapped his hands together, "Alright, well done, class! Gold star for everyone!" From his pocket, he pulled out a small, glittery star sticker that he slapped to the forehead of the nearest student. Pointing a finger to it, he tacked on, "That's the only one I have, so you'll all have to share! In any case, now that we've had a chance to flex and loosen our acting muscles a bit, onto a slightly more challenging game…"

Wonderful! Now I could put this horrible improv portion of the class behind me. I wondered what would be next… monologues or scene work or script readings or-

"Alphabet Improv!"

...or more improv.

Swell.

You know what? Maybe acting class just simply wasn't for me. Since, you know, it seemed to be nothing but improv, a thing that I was terrible at.

...to be fair, one might argue that acting class would be the way to help me get better at it.

On the other hand, one might also argue to hell with acting class!

Not going to lie, I felt that the latter argument made a very compelling and well thought out rebuttal.

"We'll be doing this in groups of four," Professor Trouillefou went on, a wicked grin slowly stretching across his face. "And just for funsies, I'll be the one picking the groups. Now, who will start us off…"

Not me, not me, oh dear god, not me!

He pointed that cursed jingly stick directly at - you guessed it - me. I paled, my heart plummeting into my stomach as he decreed, "Congratulations, my dear, you are our first lucky winner!"

...fudge.

Gulping, I stuttered out in a tiny voice, "No, b-but I… I can't-"

"Oh, but you can and you will! Next up, your partners will be… hmm…" he pursed his lips to one side as he scrutinized everyone else.

Lea's hand shot up high over his head as he bounced on the balls of his feet.

"Kuzco!" the lecturer jabbed his scepter towards the opposite end of the line of students from us.

A guy with long black hair jumped forward with a cocky laugh, "Boom, baby!"

Right. Guess that'd make him Kuzco.

The teacher slowly swung the jingly scepter past the students one by one, preparing to select his next victi- erm, participant. Lea kept jumping in front of it like an eager puppy, saying, "Oo! Oo! Me!"

Jerking the prop to Lea's immediate left, it landed on a short girl in a white sundress trimmed in black lace, her red hair tied back into a pair of pigtails that fell past her waist. "Strelitzia!" he cried, seemingly taking great joy in rolling the R as he did so.

She merely smiled sweetly at her name being called and stepped forward.

"And last but not least…" Professor Trouillefou squinted as he gave his students another once over. Lea bounced up in front of him yet again, both index fingers pointing up at his own face as he favored the teacher with a big, ear-to-ear smile. Rolling his eyes with a small huff, the teacher grumbled, "Fine. You, I guess."

Oh, thank goodness!

Don't get me wrong, this game was still going to absolutely murder me.

But with Lea's help, maybe it'd be just a tad less murdery.

As my boyfriend moved to stand beside me, taking my hand with a squeeze and a grin, the professor made a sweeping gesture with his prop, "Everyone else step aside and give our stars center stage! Now, Alphabet Improv is quite simple really. I'll give you four a scene prompt and a letter. Then one of you will begin with a line that starts with that letter. The next person will continue the scene by saying something that starts with the next letter of the alphabet. You will each take turns working your way through the alphabet until you're back around to the first letter, then work your way backwards through the alphabet."

I think he had more to say, but his words began to fade to the point where I couldn't hear them anymore. No, all I could hear now was the hammering in my ribcage and hiss of my rapid, shallow breathing through my nostrils. My mouth was dry and my hands were clammy. Yup. No doubt about it. This was anxiety. And not the good kind like I usually felt before a show. This was just plain bad. All bad. Nothing but bad, bad, bad. So bad that-

"Nervous?"

I gave a start as that soft voice broke through my thoughts, my head whipping towards it to discover the girl from earlier - Strelitzia, I believe - now standing next to me. She tilted her head to one side, grinning warmly at me.

A scoff from Kuzco had me jolting in surprise yet again. "Psh, like she has reason to be! Not with me in the group! Just simply bask in the awesomeness and perfection that is me and be at ease!" he smirked, puffing out his chest and stretching his arms out wide, curling and uncurling his fingers a couple times. "Go on, bask. You know you want to."

Lea snerked. "Check out the ego on this guy."

Heh… look who's talking.

"Just ignore him, that's what the rest of us do," Strelitzia giggled softly before turning her kind eyes on me once more. "And don't worry, I was nervous too when I first started taking this class. I still am, actually… but I've gotten better. Some day, I hope to be as good as my brother!"

Lea blinked. "Brother? Wait a minute…" he squinted down at her, rubbing a curled finger over his chin. Then he snapped his fingers. "You're Bubble Yum's baby sis!"

Her eyes widened at that, then she laughed, "Oh dear, don't let Marluxia hear you calling him that."

"Too late," Lea shrugged.

"But yes, he's my big brother. He's majoring in Theater Arts here, while I'm just taking this class because I want to be a little more like him. He's so confident and brave…" she trailed off shyly into a thoughtful pause. Then her face brightened, "I just wish I had a little more courage so I can make him proud of me! I think this class has helped me a lot with that, and it could help you too."

I think this girl was about to give me diabetes from sweetness overload here. It was almost enough to lure me into a false sense of security. Almost. But then-

Jingle-jangle!

Ugh, those damn little bells were going to be the death of me! Immediately, my pulse spiked and I inhaled sharply.

"Now that you've all had a lil time to get acquainted, let's move this along, shall we?" Professor Trouillefou beamed from where he'd taken a seat at the edge of the stage to watch us. The rest of the class had done the same, giving the four of us plenty of room to work with. Oh gosh, so many eyes on me, about to witness my epic failure at improv. Was it getting harder to breathe in here? "The letter you'll be beginning with: Q!"

I started desperately tugging at Lea's hand and he glanced down at me. "I can't do this," I told him in a whisper, the loudest I could muster through my constricting throat. "I can't… I just can't!"

"The scene," the lecturer went on, "...Kuzco here has just been transformed into a talking llama!"

Lea stepped in front of me, taking both my hands in his and drawing light circles along their backs with his thumbs. The sensation sent a soothing warmth up my arms and into my chest where it clashed with the icy panic pumping out of my heart. Ducking down to my eye-level, he said, "It'll be okay, El. I'll be right here with ya the whole time. You got this, trust me! Don't think, just say the first thing that pops outta your head. Simple as that!"

"But-"

"Annnnnnd action!" Professor Trouillefou roared.

Kuzco wasted no time, turning to the three of us. "Quick question guys…" he held his hands up and waved them back and forth in front of him with a chipper, "Why do I suddenly have hooves?" That earned him a few tiny chuckles from the students watching.

Fighting a smile herself, Strelitzia gasped, "Randy! You're a llama!"

"Sweet! New pet!" Lea went over to start patting Kuzco on the head. "Think I'm gonna name him Cheez Whiz." A few more snorts from onlookers.

Then there was dead silence.

...that was my cue, wasn't it? Crud, what comes after S again?! How do you alphabet?! I couldn't remember! So instead I just stood there, stock-still and rooted to the spot, hyperventilating and my eyes round as I stared out into our small audience.

...do...something…

What was it Lea had just told me? Don't think, er...

Don't think, just… uh…

…

Well I'll say this much for me - I had the 'don't think' part down pat. I was totally not thinking like a pro! Nothing was going on in my brain right now. Nope, not a goddamn single thing. Not even so much as a tumbleweed rolling through the barren wasteland that was my thoughts at this very second.

"This has ruined my face! My beautiful, beautiful face!" Kuzco suddenly burst out, covering for me.

Ah! T! That's what comes after S!

Dang it, I knew that!

Strelitzia hesitated for only a split second before coming up with, "Um... your face was never really all that beautiful to begin with…" There were a couple snickers from our audience at that.

"Veronica!" Lea suddenly grabbed me by the shoulders, forcing me to look at him instead of the people watching us. "Tell us, what should we do?!" His thumbs were stroking up and down my arms as he gave me a single, encouraging nod.

I tucked in my bottom lip, listening to a couple pounding beats of my heart before giving him a tiny, almost imperceptible shake of my head.

Still nothing going on up in the ol' noggin except for crickets and paralyzing, soul-crushing fear. Sorry, bud.

Then I realized his lips were silently moving… was he mouthing something to me? Looked suspiciously like… W...?

Oh! Right! The next letter!

Now I just needed to think of a word that started with W! Simple, right?

"W…" I began shakily sounding it out, hoping the rest of some word would just magically follow. "W…" Mm-hm, yup. "W…" Got nothing here. "W…" Absolute zilch.

Apparently that was deemed acceptable. "Xavier, can't you see she's petrified cuz I'm an ugly, stinky llama?!" Kuzco wailed as he fell to his knees.

"You have a point there!" Strelitzia chimed in, struggling to keep a straight face now at his overdramatic antics.

Lea smacked himself in the forehead, "Zounds, can't believe I forgot about her crippling llama-phobia!" …llama-phobia? At that, a tiny snerk managed to break through the all but suffocating anxiety and escape through my nose. Then he was grabbing my face with both hands, "But it's okay, you'll get through this! ...you'll get through this." The last part was repeated more softly as he gave me a small reassuring smile.

Something in his touch, his voice, his steady gaze… actually had me calming down a bit. With a tiny gulp, I closed my eyes, breathed in deeply and exhaled slowly, letting some of the tension go with it. Alright, after Z came… ha! Yes! So easy, even my useless, panic-scattered brain could do it!

"A…" I began weakly, but then hesitated.

Don't think, just say the first thing that pops outta your head.

"Alpacas!" suddenly exploded from my lips as my eyes snapped open again. Lea's head rocked back slightly at my little outburst, a bemused grin tugging at his lips. Gaze shifting, I scrambled to expand on it. "Don't, um… don't forget I'm... d-deathly afraid of those too..."

Kuzco was quick on the draw, snarling, "Both of you shut up and help me fix this already!"

"Can it!" Strelitzia snapped, planting her fists on her hips and narrowing her eyes on him. "We're not taking orders from you!"

Lea stamped a foot down and raised his fist at him, "Damn right, you demon llama!"

That statement had me hiding a smile behind my fingers. And with that, a little bit more of the anxiety was banished. I could do this… especially now that I'd regained the power of the alphabet! Especially with Lea's hand finding mine once again, sending more warm tingles straight to my heart.

Don't think, just say the first thing that...

"Everyone, let's…" Okay, good strong start. Now, where are we taking this? "...exorcise?" Sure, let's go with that. "...the, uh... the demon llama?"

Success!

"Fiends!" Kuzco yelled, pointing an accusing finger at us. "Traitors! Evil criminal masterminds! This was your plot all along, wasn't it?!"

Turning to look up at Lea, Strelitzia told him, "Go on, say the words that'll expel the evil spirit!"

Not missing a beat, Lea joined Strelitzia's hand with mine before taking my other back in his once again. Then he led us into a skipping daisy-chain that circled Kuzco a couple times, all the while happily chanting, "Hocus pocus! Shazam! Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo! Nutella! Benedict Cumberbatch!"

This was all just so... utterly… ridiculous.

I spluttered, then erupted into full blown laughter.

Oh gosh, how did Lea always do it? How did he always know how to get a laugh out of me, no matter what? How did he always manage to calm me down and help me feel safe?

As he slowed our skipping to a stop, his eyes crinkled down at me as he prompted, "That oughta do it! Whatcha think?"

Ah. Right. I was supposed to be doing something… or saying something… something to do with the letter I. But I couldn't quite remember what. I was too distracted by his gaze on me, causing all sorts of warm fuzzies to flutter throughout my chest and an extremely silly smile to pull at my mouth. Alright, letter I… letter I… my lips parted...

Don't think, just��

"I love you."

The words had barely left my mouth when my whole body locked up and I swear my heart skipped two full beats as Lea's wide-eyed stare landed on me.

Crud.

That… had not been part of the game.

I knew it.

He knew it.

Everyone in the whole goddamn theater seemed to know it too.

That is, if the awkward, deafening hush now permeating the air as no one said or did anything was an indicator. Several eyes just slowly shifted back and forth between Lea and me, probably curious to see what either of us would do next.

Lea was the first to recover, snagging my hand in his. "Excuse us for a quick sec," he struck up a finger to the others, flashing a polite smile. Then he walked off backstage, gently tugging me along behind him. My knees had gone numb, causing me to stumble a couple times as I followed. I frowned at his back, feeling my insides shrivel with dread.

...oh gosh, he was about to break up with me, wasn't he?

Neither of us had ever said… said… gah, the L-word to each other before! And I'd been okay with that! I'd been just fine! I didn't even know whether I was in L-word with him or not!

Or rather… I hadn't known...

...but I guess I did now?

Apparently?

Not that that mattered any more! Not now that my stupid mouth had gone and screwed everything up! Lea wasn't the L-word type! He was the one-night stand type. This thing he'd been doing with me this whole time had been a one-off. A fluke. A wonderful fluke. An amazing fluke. A fluke that I had just totally and completely ruined.

It seemed he'd found a spot he deemed quiet and private enough, for we abruptly came to a stop. As he turned to face me now, I swallowed hard. This was it. He was about to tell me it was all over. My vision blurred slightly and I squeezed my eyes shut against it.

Maybe if I couldn't see him, he couldn't break up with me. Ha! Take that!

...okay, that sounded a bit desperate, even for-

My thoughts were silenced as I suddenly felt his arms wrapping around my waist, hugging me tightly up against him. Then there was the familiar scent of cinnamon before I felt his warm lips on mine, causing my eyes to fly open and my hands to unconsciously grip at the front of his shirt.

Wha-

...oh. Wait, no I get it. He was trying to let me down easy. This was a goodbye kiss. One final kiss for the road. The kiss of relationship death.

Yup. This sealed it. He was definitely breaking up with me.

All too soon, his lips were pulling away from mine, although he didn't release his hold on me. I couldn't look him in the eye. I was too scared. So I just stared hard at his collarbone instead and waited for him to say it. It's over between us. Just go on and get it over with already. Put me out of my misery. It won't be hard. Just four little words. Just-

"I love you too."

I blinked.

Okay… not the four words I'd been expecting...

I slowly dragged my gaze up to meet his, giving him a blank look. "...this has to be the most confusing breakup ever."

I felt his body tense against mine as both his eyebrows shot up his forehead. "Break up?" he repeated incredulously. Then a laugh burst out of him and he shook his head, "How did you even-? No, El, this isn't a break up! I mean, I certainly hope not anyway."

"Oh." Well that was a relief! But then my brow furrowed. "Wait…"

...back up… had he really just said he-

My heart flip-flopped and face glowed red hot.

"...you…" Dear lord, it was so hard to even say it. The struggle was real. "...love me?"

"Mm-hm!" he hummed, squeezing me closer and nuzzling his nose into my neck. "Known for a while too."

His breath tickled against my skin and I squirmed, my arms inadvertently wrapping around his neck now. "You did? Why didn't you say anything?" The question came out almost somewhat indignant.

Raising his head so he could once more look me in the eye, Lea gave a sheepish chuckle. "Didn't wanna spook ya or make you feel pressured into saying it back if you weren't ready."

"Well that's…" I paused, my mouth clicking shut as I looked down to mull it over for a second. Then my gaze shyly lifted once more and I mumbled, "...a fair point. And actually kind of thoughtful… thank you…"

His expression softened and he pressed his forehead to mine. "...say it again."

This time, my heart skipped three full beats. He wanted me to say… that again?! What, once hadn't been enough? I didn't even know if I could say it again. I didn't even know how I'd said it in the first place! "I…" Oh gosh, how did couples tell each other this all the time? There had to be some trick to it. What was the magic secret? "I… I'm not like you, Lea. I'm not sappy and mushy and… and I know how to do corny stuff like giving romantic speeches about lantern festivals or walking into lampposts or-"

"I don't want a speech. I just want to hear you say it again...please..." he coaxed in a low murmur against my ear, turning my legs to jelly.

Well when he put it that way…

As our eyes locked once more, my pulse raced and I opened my mouth. Then immediately shut it. Nope. Alright, take two. Again, my lips parted. And again, they snapped shut. Gah, this was impossible! Was almost surprised I couldn't smell smoke at this point, considering how badly my cheeks were burning. Finally, I turned my head to one side, gripping at the collar of his leather jacket and pulling it up to hide my face in it as I at last muffled out a quick, "I love you."

He bit back a grin, tugging the collar back down so he could hook a finger under my chin and tilt my gaze up towards his again. "One more time? Couldn't quite hear you."

I wrinkled my nose at him. I couldn't do it. Not with the way those beautiful green eyes of his were watching me with such intensity.

So I did the only thing I could think of.

I clamped my hand over them, blinding him and blurting out before I could stop myself, "I love you!"

He stiffened. Then snerked, letting my hand stay put over his eyes as a huge, dopey grin spread across his face, "Love you too. And eagerly awaiting the day when I can look at you while you say that."

Despite feeling flustered, one corner of my lips lifted. "...yeah, well... you might be waiting a while there."

Now he removed my hand from his face, weaving our fingers together and pressing a kiss to my palm before clasping it to his chest just over his heart as he smiled down at me.

"Take all the time ya need. I know it'll be worth the wait."

...maybe acting class wasn't so bad after all.

I mean, if only one session had helped me get this far...

...just imagine what I might be able to accomplish after completing the entire course!

Author's Note: Relationship milestone, woooo! Achievement unlocked! xD Not sure if ya'll even realized that these 2 dorks had yet to say those three lil words each other :P Like Lea said, he's known for a while - the goob might've even fancied himself in love back while they were fake dating - maybe it was still just really strong infatuation back then, but eh... does it really matter? xD As for Elsa, she's been in love for a while now too, she just didn't KNOW that's what it was until her mouth did what it does best, took the reins and blurted out her feelings for her XD On another note, yay for Elsa exploring theater further and pursuing acting classes! Hehe, these bonus chapters are quickly turning into an excuse to squeeze as many cameos in as I can. The professor was originally supposed to be a smaller, faceless part but then I came to the conclusion that I should have more fun with it and tried to figure out who would be good fit for a drama teacher - I think I made the right call with Clopin xD In case anyone didn't recognize him even with all the lil hints I dropped, he's the jester guy from "Hunchback of Notre Dame" which I wouldn't blame you if you read the name and went "uh…who?" - the guy only says his name once in the whole movie and it does legit sound like it has 4 syllables when he says it! My whole life (right up until I looked it up for this chapter) I've thought his name was something like "Cleopelle" haha oops xD And I'm glad I found a place to squeeze in Strelitzia at long last! Not to mention Kuzco - fun fact, he was originally gonna be Selphie, but this was before I came up with the scene prompt for the Alphabet Improv bit. I was looking up acting class prompt suggestions on the internet before I was like "screw it, I should just pick the plot of a Disney movie or something", started scrolling through the long list of Disney movies until I landed on "Emperor's New Groove", stared at it blankly for few seconds, then DING! Off went the lightbulb, Selphie was yeeted out of the scene, and Kuzco bounced in to take her place x'D Also, yes, both Stroking the Animal and Alphabet Improv are real drama class exercises - I know this from WAY more time than I care to admit spent on the internet trying to figure out what I wanted to happen this chapter xD Stroking the Animal is also sometimes called Ironing the Animal, but (1) I don't even understand that title and (2) Lea couldn't have made his dumb innuendo if I'd called it that xD

Thanks for reading, I super duper appreciate it! And an extra BIG thank you to those of you who’ve liked, reblogged, and followed so far, seeing those lil notifications always brings the biggest, goofiest smile to my face!

Be back for next week's bonus chapter, which is a for funsies one-shot! Your hint this time for what's to come will be *drum roll*... blindfold ;D Ooooo, the intrigue is real! Stay tuned!

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

[animefeminist]

[Feature] Go For It, Nakamura! is the throwback gay rom-com we always needed

Seldom is gay manga as wholesome as Go For It, Nakamura! But this eleven-chapter manga is as soft and sweet as it gets. Written by female manga-ka Syundei, the manga focuses on Nakamura Okuto, an octopus-loving nervous wreck who adores his classmate Hirose Aiki from afar. Whenever he musters up the nerve to approach or talk to Hirose, hilarity ensues: sometimes in the form of mistaken identity, other times in the form of octopus madness. And, of course, there’s a romantic trip to an aquarium.

Go For It, Nakamura! seems to be heavily inspired by the works of Rumiko Takahashi. The comical hijinks and silly conflicts resemble the older romances of the ‘90s anime scene, becoming a window into what could have been if LGBTQIA entertainment became more mainstream way earlier. Even fluffy comedy is remarkable when there’s so little normalized queer romance.

That isn’t to discredit fluffy romantic stories, of course, which can be an important staple for teens. For many, they’re sort of a safe testing ground. Adolescence is awkward enough that we sometimes crave a cheat-sheet to help us navigate social life, and fiction offers a mirror through which we can see our own social life (or lack thereof).

Read it at Anime Feminist!

[crowdvscritic]

round up // JULY + AUGUST 22

Summer 2022: A summer of milestones! Some of these were personal, like my first trip to Hawaii and a little thing called turning 30. (I watched 13 Going on 30 to feel the most thirty, flirty, and thriving I could; I avoided tick, tick...BOOM! to avoid the what-am-I-doing-with-my-life anxiety that comes with this birthday.) Some of them were professional, like the first interview on SO IT’S A SHOW? with a Gilmore Girls cast member! In ep. 127, Kyla and I chatted with John Cabrera (aka Brian, our favorite Hep Alien bassist) about the music that influenced the show, his thoughts on the 2016 revival, and more.

You might have also noticed a new look to this blog. In the first site refresh I’ve made to Crowd vs. Critic in years, I’ve updated my About, Author, and Best Picture Project pages, and the new theme (fortuitously named “Oscar”) makes everything look a little cleaner. My favorite new feature is the Random button in the header, which pulls up a random post from the blog—perfect for a movie night selection tool. 

I also made an exciting update to the Author page: I was accepted to the St. Louis Film Critics Association this summer. Along with easier access to new release screenings, I’ll vote in the group’s best of the year selections in December. Stay tuned for more updates!

In the meantime, I’m completing my third year of Round Ups with 10 crowd-pleasers and 10 critic picks I discovered in July and August. These include eight new movies releases (unsurprisingly for this time of year, most fall in the Crowd list), five summer vacay-ready titles, three TV series, and one Best Picture winner. And if you’re ready to say goodbye to Summer heat and start wearing those Autumn sweaters, I’ve got a Letterboxd list ready for you, too. 

July + August Crowd-Pleasers

1. Stranger Things 4 (2022)

During the first few episodes, I wondered if this would be the first season of Stranger Things that would lose me. With so many characters and the scariest villain yet, I was afraid the Duffer Brothers’ show was succumbing to the flaws that made season three my least favorite. But like always, the Hawkins crew won me over. The many locales updated the typical season’s structure in a clever way. Separating characters made their reunions more poignant. Longer episodes allowed for more character development, including for secondary characters. The soundtrack ripped. I wanted to copy the costumes and hairstyles. Steve was still GOAT! Need I keep listing why I’m counting down till Stranger Things 5?

2. Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar (2021)

Annie Mumolo and Kristen Wiig leave the Midwest for their dream vacation in Florida—hijinks and hilarity ensue! It’s difficult to explain the plot without giving away some of the fun surprises, but if you enjoy silliness involving celebrity cameos and banana boats, this is for you. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10

3. Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)

Sue me—I had a lot of fun! There are many fun things about this sequel—like screaming goats, the Guardians of the Galaxy cameos, and all the weirdness of Russell Crowe—but probably the most fun is it's only 2 hours. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7.5/10

4. Minions: The Rise of Gru (2022)

Like every movie featuring Minions before, I can barely recall what I watched within three seconds of leaving the theater, but I can tell you I had a good time. Read why in my review for ZekeFilm. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7/10

5. Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris (2022)

A nice story about a nice woman who goes to a nice place to get a nice dress and is nice to pretty much everyone along the way. Needless to say, if you’re looking for a nice feel-good movie, this it. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8/10

6. Double Feature: Predator (1987) + Prey (2022)

In Predator (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 6.5/10) Arnold Schwarzenegger faces off with an alien in the jungle in an ‘80s macho shoot-‘em-up. 300 years earlier in Prey (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10), Amber Midthunder faces off with an alien ancestor in a prequel that is nobody’s tax write-off streaming movie. Read my full review of Prey for ZekeFilm. 

7. The Gray Man (2022)

This passed the sad test that has become a barometer for at-home watching since the pandemic: Do the action scenes make me make it easy for me to tune out, or do they make me put away the laptop and get invested? (It’s harder to pass than you’d think.) Also of note: It's becoming a toss-up whether I prefer Chris Evans as smarmy villain or a sincere do-gooder. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7/10

8. Double Feature - Brad Pitt Action: Spy Game (2001) + Bullet Train (2022)

In Spy Game (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10), Robert Redford is finishing his last day at the CIA, but first he’s trying to rescue Brad Pitt from a Chinese prison. In Bullet Train (Crowd: 10/10 // Critic: 8/10), Brad Pitt is starting his first day back on the job as a contract killer, but first he needs face off with Brian Tyree Henry, Joey King, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, and more on a train to Kyoto. Try the former if you’re in the mood for action mixed with geopolitics and the latter if you want it with a dash of stylized comedy.

9. Beast (2022)

Must calling a movie “formulaic” always be an insult? This Idris Elba action thriller puts that assumption to the test because it knows what it is—a 90-minute adventure built around a charismatic movie star—and the formula it needs to follow. Ready how it excels at its formula in my review for ZekeFilm.  Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 6.5/10

10. Double Binge - Returning Comedy Series: iCarly + Only Murders in the Building (2021 - )

One is intelligent comedy and one is very silly comedy—I contain multitudes, so they are both for me. To its credit, the iCarly reboot is cleverly commenting on the inanity of the Internet’s pressure on content creators (and perhaps the gig-like profession itself), and it brings in just enough guest stars and storylines to bring back the nostalgia of the Nickelodeon series. Only Murders in the Building is similarly spoofing content creators like podcasters (oops, #ItMe), is laugh-out-loud funny, and still surprises with its plot twists. Third seasons, here we come!

July + August Critic Picks

1. Elvis (2022)

Probably my favorite thing about Baz Luhrmann movies is it feels like he has zero interest in being cool and every movie is exactly what he is wanted to make. If it’s not that, it could be the guy knows how to stage a musical performance, actors turn out some of their best work under his direction (see: Austin Butler), and the costumes and sets are deliciously avant-garde. Not everything about Elvis works, but what does work is electric. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

2. An American in Paris (1951)

This musical-loving, Gene Kelly-crushing Oscars enthusiast has had plenty of reasons to watch this 1951 Best Picture winner, but falling in love with Paris in May finally moved it to the top of my watchlist. My latest Best Picture Project reviews might as well be both for this film and for my trip to France: not overrated. Read my Crowd and Critic reviews. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 10/10

3. Notorious (1946)

Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant in an Alfred Hitchcock spy thriller—what else do I need to say? Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 10/10

4. Home, before and after by Regina Spektor (2022)

Her one-of-a-kind vocal acrobatics are back, and this is the first album to challenge Harry Styles for my soundtrack of summer 2022.

5. Mildred Pierce (1945)

Joan Crawford is caught in a domestic Film Noir trying to win the love of her materialistic daughter while avoiding a murder charge. Another entry on my Letterboxd list “’40s Gals Just Trying to Live Their Best Lives BUT SOCIETY”! Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 10/10

6. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

Romance meets wuxia kung fu! Ang Lee’s thrilling adventure scales trees, crosses the desert, and swings swords in one of the most beautifully shot and acted action films you’ll ever see. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 10/10

7. The Bedford Incident (1965)

Richard Widmark is a tyrannical submarine captain in a stare down with U-boats in the North Atlantic, and few have the courage to challenge his collision course with nuclear war. Journalist Sidney Poitier and doctor Martin Balsam are two of the few, but will they live to tell about their experiences on shore? The latest addition to my favorite journalism films! Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 9/10

8. TCM’s Summer Movies: 30 Sun-Drenched Classics by John Malahy

You know I love a Turner Classic Movies book! This summer I worked on finishing their vacay-ready recommendations when it was too hot to do anything outside. My favorites from July and August include Ingmar Bergman’s twist on A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Smiles of a Summer Night (1955); Katharine Hepburn’s romance in Venice, Summertime (1955); the coming-of-age hidden gem that made me homesick for my college days in Indiana, Breaking Away (1979); and the romantic dream European vacation, Before Sunrise (1995). Previously reviewed films from this book include Key Largo (1948), Summer Stock (1950), Picnic (1955), The Endless Summer (1966), Caddyshack (1980),  National Lampoon’s Vacation (1983), and Do the Right Thing (1989). Each film comes with inspiration for a vacation and a double feature!

9. The Big Chill (1983)

Before The Breakfast Club, school friends including Glenn Close, Jeff Goldblum, and Kevin Kline spent the weekend together after a friend’s funeral (Kevin Costner before his scenes were deleted) to reevaluate their post-grad choices and sort through their nearing-middle age malaise. Though the conclusions this group comes to by the end range from confusing to wild, the questions they ask are more important than the answers they find. Plus, my guy Goldblum’s charisma covers a multitude of flaws. This film also helped inspire my newest Letterboxd list of non-spooky season movies with Autumn Vibes. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

10. The Pianist (2002)

I’ve yet to sort through my mixed feelings about Roman Polanski, but there’s no denying The Pianist is incredible. The Holocaust drama is moving but not emotionally manipulative; it’s personal but illustrative of a generation; and like many of my favorite films, it muses on the meaning art can bring to our lives. I won’t be able to say it better than Roger Ebert or the San Francisco Gate, so I recommend checking out their reviews, too. Crowd: 6/10 // Critic: 10/10

Also this July + August…

For ZekeFilm, I reviewed the perfunctory bestseller adaptation Where the Crawdads Sing. 

Also on SO IT’S A SHOW?, we dug into the 20+ references Gilmore Girls makes to The Wizard of Oz and into the Jayson Blair/Howell Raines scandal at The New York Times in the early ‘00s. 

Photo credits: Regina Spektor. All others IMDb.com.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael After Midnight: The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy

Ah, October, a month where the internet becomes obsessed with ghosts and goblins in preparation for Halloween. And really, can I fault the people for that? The dark, macabre, and spooky make for great entertainment! Plenty of great scary movies out there for the adults to enjoy to get into the spirit, but what about kids? Well, there’s Goosebumps and all those other shows like it, but what about a dark, macabre cartoon filled with spooky shit?

Enter The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy, one of the best Cartoon Network cartoons ever made. Released in August of 2001, it came just in time for that year’s Halloween, and lasted six years, with seven seasons under its belt. During that time, the show endeared itself to audiences with its combination of dark comedy, grossout humor, and just plain weird situations…though weirdness is par for the course when you’re pals with the Grim Reaper, I suppose.

So what is the plot of this cartoon? Well, one day a hamster owned by a stupid boy named Billy was about to die, and the Grim Reaper came to take him. Billy’s cunning, evil best friend Mandy decided to make a bet with the Grim Reaper; they have a game of limbo, and if he wins he gets the hamster… but if THEY win, he has too be their best friend forever. Of course, he loses, and then he becomes the put-upon pal of these two kids as they boss him around and force him to entertain them. Much hilarity (and chaos) ensues.

This show’s greatest asset was its variety. With Grim onboard, any sort of plot could be possible, from sci-fi stories where the gang fought aliens or mutant chickens to more horrifying stores where they fought demons, monsters, and other denizens of the underworld. And sometimes they would do something really weird, like the episode-long dream sequence in which Billy imagines he’s in the Wild West confronting the cowboy Tooth Fairy. This helps most of the episodes feel fresh, because going in you don’t know if you’re gonna get a story about a killer tricycle or an episode-long reference to Suspiria. Speaking of which, the show is pretty clever in its references, slipping in TONS of content for adult fans, from numerous dirty jokes that will fly over kid’s heads to references to movies no kid would see, such as the aforementioned Suspiria or Hellraiser. As there’s not much continuity here, this show is super easy to jump into at any episode and just watch and have a good experience, which is another plus; sometimes it’s nice to have a simple show driven only by its desire to tell jokes rather than tell an overarching story. And thankfully, the jokes here are mostly good, and have as much variety as the episodes themselves. One memorable episode is just an episode-long series of fart jokes, while another episode gets its laughs from giant mutant chickens and cannibalism. It’s THAT kind of show.

Now, none of these situations would be quite as good if the protagonists weren’t entertaining, so how are they? Let’s start with the guy whose name comes first in the title (technically speaking): Grim. Grim, the personification of Death with an inexplicable Jamaican accent, is bizarrely the straight man in this show… well, usually. When he has to deal with Billy, he plays the role with ease, but with Mandy, Grim can sometimes get a bit silly, though rarely to Billy’s level. As he is typically what allows the strange and supernatural hijinks of the show to occur, be it on purpose or inadvertently, he’s easily the coolest main character, and due to his put-upon nature and how sympathetic he ends up being due to the shit Billy and Mandy put him through, he’s also the most likable.

Billy is up next, and he is the stereotypical idiot comic relief character cranked up to 11. He’s stupid to the point it is stated by his principal in one episode that a shovel and two candy bracelets actually scored higher on an IQ test than he did (they got a positive 17; he got -5). Think Ed from fellow Cartoon Network cartoon Ed, Edd n Eddy, only with a bigger nose and voiced by Richard Steven Horvitz of Invader Zim and Psychonauts fame. Unlike Ed, though, the dangerous and supernatural experiences they faced combined with an occasional lack of empathy and his tendency to be a jerk can make Billy a bit of a divisive character; I tend to enjoy him quite a bit, but there are a few episodes where even he tried my patience. Still, overall he’s an enjoyable dope.

Then we have… Mandy. I’m just gonna say it: by the time the show came to an end, Mandy was easily the worst main character, maybe even the worst character on the show period. She’s typically portrayed as the Ultimate Evil, this epic child chess master who always comes out on top and never faces any sort of consequence for what she does. It’s a rare episode that sees her punished for her actions. However, in episodes where she’s not trying to pull off some evil scheme and is just reacting to the madness around her, she’s a solid character. The fact she’s voiced by Grey DeLisle does help things a bit.

As I said, there is very little continuity between episodes, but there is some, mostly in the form of reoccurring characters. In a show like this, the ensemble cast as well as one-shot characters really need to be on point, and boy oh boy are they ever in this show! This show may have one of the best and most enjoyable ensemble casts in a cartoon ever. The big standouts are Hoss Delgado, the buff monster hunter who is basically a combination of Ash Williams and Snake Plissken, with all that badassery that implies; Eris, the sexy and tricky goddess of chaos; Jeff, a gigantic spider (voiced by Maxwell Atoms, the show’s creator) who is Billy’s ‘son’ and just wants his spider-hating father’s love; General Skarr, a character from Evil Con Carne who is a cunning evil man who wants to usurp power and rule the world… or he used to be, now he just wants to tend his garden in peace; and, last but definitely not least, motherfuckin’ Dracula, voiced by Phil LaMarr and based visually on Blackula, who is basically a nonstop fountain of hilarity. Each of these characters is fantastic, funny, and able to fit into a variety of weird situations the show pops out. And this brilliance and hilarity extends to one-shot characters as well, such as the much-loved singing evil meteor and Jack O’Lantern, characters who had one appearance each but easily endeared themselves with fans. If there’s a weak link in any of the ensemble cast, it would probably be Fred Fredburger; while he’s not devoid of funny moments, his schtick was really overplayed and he ended up becoming an unofficial mascot for the series in the ads, which led to overexposure. It leads people to think he had a bigger part in the show than he did, when he had a few episodes and then appeared in a few of the specials.

Interestingly, Billy & Mandy is probably one of the few shows that really benefited from getting wackier as the show went on. The first season, when the show was Grim & Evil, is, for lack of a better word, a bit grim. The episodes still have comedy, but a lot of them just aren’t as funny as later episodes, and not many of the series mainstays pop up here, aside from Nergal, Eris, and Hoss. That’s not to say there’s nothing memorable here – “Little Rock of Horrors” is in the first season, after all – but the first season just doesn’t stack up quite as well to later ones. Season 2 introduces Jeff and Nigel Planter and has the legendary Halloween special, while season 3 has classics like “Here Thar Be Dwarves” and brings in Grim’s school bully Boogie. They only get better from here, save for season 7, which is easily the least memorable season of them all (though it does have its exceptions, particularly “Wrath of the Spider Queen"). 

 Now, normally this is where I would wrap up, but first, I want to do something a little different. I’m going to list the 25 episodes I think are essential viewing for the best Billy & Mandy experience. I’m not going to review each episode or even detail them, because it would basically be me explaining jokes and how they’re funny. These are just the episodes I think anyone getting in should see. So without further ado…

25. Attack of the Clowns

24. One Crazy Summoner

23. The Loser from the Earth’s Core

22. Toadblatt’s School of Sorcery

21. Wrath of the Spider Queen

20. Home of the Ancients

19. Nursery Crimes

18. Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner

17. Giant Billy and Mandy All-Out Attack

16. Nigel Planter and the Chamber Pot of Secrets

15. Modern Primitives

14. Prank Call of Cthulhu

13. Duck!

12. The Secret Snake Club

11. Jeffy’s Web

10. Fear and Loathing in Endsville

9. Here Thar Be Dwarves

8. Goodbling and the Hip-hop-opotamus

7. Billy and Mandy Moon the Moon

6. My Fair Mandy

5. Keeper of the Reaper

4. Little Rock of Horrors

3. Wishbones

2. Billy and Mandy’s Jacked-Up Halloween

1. Billy and Mandy Save Christmas

Now this is by no means a definitive list (though I certainly believe the Halloween and Christmas episode are the two best episodes of the show), but I do certainly think that these are some of the funniest, most memorable, and most enjoyable episodes the series produced.

This show is unarguably a classic. Funny, dark, witty, and filled with jokes for people of any ages to enjoy, this is the sort of cartoon that helped Cartoon Network be truly great in the early to mid-2000s, prior to their descent into madness with live action shows. It actually spawned a pretty solid TV movie, an incredibly bizarre crossover with Codename: Kids Next Door, and a failed spinoff movie called Underfist; I’d go into more detail, but honestly, that stuff is worthy of their own reviews, so I’ll save it.

Needless to say though, The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy is one of the best cartoons of the 2000s, a real gem and definitely worth watching, especially its holiday specials which are among the best holiday specials, if not THE best (that Christmas episode is a strong contender). I kinda wish this show would get a revival of some kind, because even with the glut of comedy shows we have these days, as long as Maxwell Atoms is at the helm, I can’t see this show failing to stand out in the crowd… no show with such ballsy dark comedy and radar-dodging innuendos could ever be unwelcome.

[moleasia4-blog]

These 13 Fun Party Games Are Guaranteed To Make You LOL

Whether I’m planning an adult birthday party, an event for church, or a holiday party, there are a few things I always make sure to include. A party just isn’t a party without good food, some music, and of course, fun party games! Today’s post is all about the latter. I’ll be sharing fun and easy games that are sure to add plenty of fun to your adult holiday parties this year!

The first batch of games that I’ll be sharing today were chosen based on their overall customer reviews on Amazon. These games all have over 4 stars on Amazon after hundreds of reviews, so you know that people really enjoy them! Following those games, I also included a few games that the adults and kids in my family love to play together.

So no matter what type of games you like to play, you’re sure to find something that suits your style in this list. Add one or two of these games to your next holiday party to make some fun and hilarious memories together!

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1. The Game of Things

4.7 stars, 391 reviews

In The Game Of Things, one player reads a topic card and everyone else writes down a response. (For example, if the card reads “THINGS… people do when no one is looking,” you might write “Eat cake for breakfast.”) Then all the responses are read aloud, and players try to figure out who said what. See it on Amazon here.

2. 5 Second Rule

4.5 stars, 1,900 reviews

Pick a card, read the deceptively simple topic, then start the special 5-second spiral timer. The player has only 5 seconds to name 3 things that fit the topic, and watch the hilarity ensue! Players get tongue-tied and funny answers are almost guaranteed to follow in this fast-paced party game. Plus, the spiral timer makes a fun ZOOP noise (or a stress-inducing ZOOP noise, depending on whose turn it is!) See it on Amazon here.

3. Bananagrams

4.7 stars, 2,286 reviews

Bananagrams is like a distant cousin of Scrabble, but in this game, speed wins instead of points! Players race to build joined up words using all of their tiles. When any player uses all of their letters, they shout “Peel!” Then the players take on a new tile, meaning everyone has to quickly rebuild their word grid! Not only is this game game fun for the whole family, it can also help improve kids’ spelling skills too! See it on Amazon here.

4. Watch Ya’ Mouth

4.3 stars, 2,608 reviews

Players wear cheek retractors and speak out phrases while teammates attempt to guess what they are saying. This one is sure to get people laughing, either from the sound of the garbled phrases or just because of how silly everyone looks!

The base game comes with family-friendly phrase cards, but you can also buy expansion packs that come with adults-only or themed phrase cards. See it on Amazon here.

5. Exploding Kittens

4.4 stars, 11,800 reviews

Exploding Kittens started out as the most-backed Kickstarter project in history, continues to be one of the post popular card games year after year. It’s sort of like UNO meets Russian Roulette, where you play your cards strategically to avoid ending up with an Exploding Kitten (which knocks you out of the game). This is silly game is a ton of fun for people who enjoy a bit of nonsense! See it on Amazon here.

6. What Do You Meme?

4.5 stars, 4,477 reviews

Warning: Adults Only! This card game is like Apples to Apples if it was based on internet memes. Up to 20 people can play at once, and players submit Caption Cards that they think are best suited to the Photo Card for that round. A rotating judge picks the best combination, and the game goes for as long or short as you like! This game is best suited for people with a working knowledge of memes and an appreciation of raunchy humor. See it on Amazon here.

7. UNO

4.7 stars, 2,536 reviews

UNO is a classic card game that is often overlooked as a party game! With game-altering cards like Reverse, Skip, and Draw 4, it doesn’t take long before hilarious hijinks have everyone laughing! See it on Amazon here.

8. Sushi Go

4.5 stars, 1,478 reviews

In this fast-playing card game, the goal is to grab the best combination of sushi dishes as they whiz by. It’s a more approachable take on card drafting games. Reviewers like that it’s easy to learn, quick to play, and engaging for all ages! Plus, who could resist the adorably illustrated sushi characters on the cards?! See it on Amazon here.

9. Skull

4.5 stars, 119 reviews

My family loves this “betting” game, and it’s easy to learn! Each player starts with 3 flower cards and 1 skull card. The players take turns selecting a card to play face-down on their mat. This continues until a player decides to place a bet, calling out the number of cards they believe they can flip over without revealing a skull card. Bets are raised, then the player with the highest bet flips the cards and hopes to avoid a skull. Expect tons of laughs over foiled plans, failed bluffs, and rampant paranoia. See it on Amazon here.

10. Heads Up!

Nystul family favorite

Heads Up! is an app-based game that’s similar to Taboo. On their turn, one player holds the phone against their forehead to display a word or phrase to the other players. The other players then provide clues to the person whose turn it is to help them correctly guess the word or phrase, continuing with new words and phrases until time runs out. We like that there are no cards or game pieces required, which makes it quick and easy to get a game going! Find out more on EllenTube.

11. Twiggle

Nystul family favorite

You may have seen this game played on Minute to Win It as “Junk In The Trunk,” and now you can play it at home with Twiggle! Each player straps a box of ping-pong balls to their waist. When the game starts, the goal is simple: without using your hands, be the first one to empty all the balls out of your box! This frantic game is sure to end in tears of laughter as you watch the players spin, wiggle, and dance their way to victory! See it on Amazon here.

12. Wet Head

Nystul family favorite

We played this Roulette-style game on a lake trip a couple of summers ago and had such a blast! Players take turn donning a special hat with a reservoir full of water surrounded by pegs. On your turn, spin a spinner to to find out how many pegs you have to remove from the hat. But one unlucky peg will release all of the water onto your head, so choose carefully! This hilarious game is best played outside—and if you want to really raise the stakes, do what my kids did and fill the reservoir with ice-cold water! See it on Amazon here.

13. The Flour Game

Nystul family favorite

Playing this game has been a Christmas tradition since I was a little girl! To play, turn out a packed cup of flour onto a plate and place a Lifesaver candy on top. Players take turns using a butter knife to slice off sections of the flour. The player who causes the flour to collapse gets the “honor” of fishing the Lifesaver out of the flour—using only their mouth! Games don’t get much cheaper, easier, or more fun to watch than this one! (You can read more about the Flour Game by reading the post at the link below!)

Related: How To Play The Flour Game – Silliness Guaranteed!

Source: https://www.onegoodthingbyjillee.com/13-hilarious-party-games

[recentanimenews]

Bookshelf Briefs 6/11/19

Arakawa Under the Bridge, Vol. 6 | By Hikaru Nakamura | Vertical Comics – There’s an extra metatextual level of weird at the start of this volume of Arakawa. Did Rec really go to Venus and meet with Nino’s parents, in scenes that are bizarre even for this super-bizarre series? Or did Rec merely go to Hawaii and is putting up an act? Elsewhere, Santa is coming, provided we can stop Sister burning everything down to stop him, P-Ko may literally be some sort of vegetable, the Mayor is pregnant, possibly to inspire some fanfics about him, and we learn the hilariously tragic(?) story of Rec’s birth. For a series that was supposedly ending soon in the last volume, things are back to their normal silly and somewhat nonsensical ways. I still say this works better in a magazine as short chapters. – Sean Gaffney

My Hero Academia, Vol. 19 | By Kohei Horikoshi | Viz Media – Having endured a rather harrowing experience for the last few books, we’re still not ready to go back to villains just yet. Also, Eri’s still recovering, and can’t smile. What better way to fix this than a school festival arc! Jirou can sing! Bakugou can play the angriest drums ever! Mina can dance! And Izuku can be a gofer, which as always leads him to run into the actual plot, in this case with a group of mild-mannered villains who are determined to ruin the festival (which, the principal has explained will be totally shut down if there’s even one suggestion of an attack). Can he stop them? Can he make it back to the show in time? And can Eri learn to actually enjoy things again? I love this series. – Sean Gaffney

The Promised Neverland, Vol. 10 | By Kaiu Shirai and Posuka Demizu | VIZ Media – Emma and the other human occupants of Goldy Pond continue their rebellion against the demon quintet that regularly hunts them for sport. Three teams of kids are tackling four of the demons while Emma is tasked with stalling the most ruthless one who is actually kind of, God help me, elegant. Certainly the most fascinating demon character we’ve seen so far, even if he is bloodthirsty. Predictably, things don’t go according to plan and it’s looking like some of the humans aren’t going to make it. It’s too bad that I don’t care more, really, but Emma hasn’t been there long and we don’t really know these kids. The few flashbacks to their backstory don’t help much. That said, it’s very action-packed and exciting with a really satisfying final scene that still manages to be a cliffhanger. Looking forward to volume eleven! – Michelle Smith

Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle, Vol. 7 | By Kagiji Kumanomata | Viz Media – This may be the best volume yet. At the start we’re still going with the premise of Syalis trying to get a good night’s sleep (even if it means her death), but the bulk of it has her returning home in order to get her woolen underwear, with the Demon Lord and associate coming with in vain hopes that this will be simple and that they won’t be discovered. The most wonderful hijinks ensue. We also meet Syalis’ mother, who is (as the manga spells out) a mellow version of her daughter, and she sees what’s going on but is perfectly happy to let Syalis return with the demons if that’s what she wants. For a gag comic that’s supposed to have one joke, this was really well-developed. – Sean Gaffney

10 Dance, Vol. 3 | By Inouesatoh | Kodansha Comics – 10 Dance is really shaping up to be one of the best BL manga I’ve ever read. Did you enjoy Future Lovers? Read this series. Sugiki and Suzuki have developed a routine of dancing all night in a snowy park, each time learning more about each other until Sugiki reveals something unflattering about himself and realizes how much he doesn’t want Suzuki to hate him just as Suzuki realizes how worried Sugiki is about that, culminating with super dramatic big smoochies on a train. They’re falling in love slowly and still confused about what it all means, and man, I’m here for it. Plus, there’s all sorts of dance training going on, with Suzuki getting fired up to compete internationally and Sugiki arranging for him to get instruction from another standard master, all the while thinking, “I don’t want to give him away to anyone.” It’s so good! – Michelle Smith

We Never Learn, Vol. 4 | By Taishi Tsutsui | Viz Media -The series continues to be well-crafted and likeable but as predictable as anything, with not one but two reset buttons to assure that the status quo continues. This isn’t too surprising—fourth volumes are always hard for Jump series, as it’s the first volume past the “you’re cancelled” risk—but it can make things a little trying if you don’t like pure harem comedy hilarity. We also get a new cast member, as Nariyuki runs into a short, cute girl at his cram school who turns out to be older than him—and she has the same situation as the other female leads, trying to get into medical school despite her talents being elsewhere. Certainly I prefer the teasing she gives him to the ongoing attempts to add the teacher to the harem, which bleah. – Sean Gaffney

Yuri Is My Job!, Vol. 3 | By miman | Kodansha Comics – Well, the volume didn’t QUITE end with Kanoko knifing someone, but it’s not for lack of trying. She is obsessed to a terrifying degree, and is thus at odds with Sumika, who is trying to point out that the yuri cafe does not need to get actual romantic feelings involved in it… something she knows from past bitter experience. There’s also the whole fact of her being a “gyaru” type outside the cafe, which creeps Kanoko out. It’s all heading to a climax, but that climax is not in this book, so instead we get a lot of simmering. Actually, I’m finding these two more interesting than the main leads, who are dealing with a somewhat rigged popularity contest, as well as still being uncomfortable around each other. Potboiler, but good. – Sean Gaffney

By: Sean Gaffney

[lauriecgarcia]

These 13 Fun Party Games Are Guaranteed To Make You LOL

Whether I’m planning an adult birthday party, an event for church, or a holiday party, there are a few things I always make sure to include. A party just isn’t a party without good food, some music, and of course, fun party games! Today’s post is all about the latter. I’ll be sharing fun and easy games that are sure to add plenty of fun to your adult holiday parties this year!

The first batch of games that I’ll be sharing today were chosen based on their overall customer reviews on Amazon. These games all have over 4 stars on Amazon after hundreds of reviews, so you know that people really enjoy them! Following those games, I also included a few games that the adults and kids in my family love to play together.

So no matter what type of games you like to play, you’re sure to find something that suits your style in this list. Add one or two of these games to your next holiday party to make some fun and hilarious memories together!

13 Fun And Easy Party Games

1. The Game of Things

4.7 stars, 391 reviews

In The Game Of Things, one player reads a topic card and everyone else writes down a response. (For example, if the card reads “THINGS… people do when no one is looking,” you might write “Eat cake for breakfast.”) Then all the responses are read aloud, and players try to figure out who said what. See it on Amazon here.

2. 5 Second Rule

4.5 stars, 1,900 reviews

Pick a card, read the deceptively simple topic, then start the special 5-second spiral timer. The player has only 5 seconds to name 3 things that fit the topic, and watch the hilarity ensue! Players get tongue-tied and funny answers are almost guaranteed to follow in this fast-paced party game. Plus, the spiral timer makes a fun ZOOP noise (or a stress-inducing ZOOP noise, depending on whose turn it is!) See it on Amazon here.

3. Bananagrams

4.7 stars, 2,286 reviews

Bananagrams is like a distant cousin of Scrabble, but in this game, speed wins instead of points! Players race to build joined up words using all of their tiles. When any player uses all of their letters, they shout “Peel!” Then the players take on a new tile, meaning everyone has to quickly rebuild their word grid! Not only is this game game fun for the whole family, it can also help improve kids’ spelling skills too! See it on Amazon here.

4. Watch Ya’ Mouth

4.3 stars, 2,608 reviews

Players wear cheek retractors and speak out phrases while teammates attempt to guess what they are saying. This one is sure to get people laughing, either from the sound of the garbled phrases or just because of how silly everyone looks!

The base game comes with family-friendly phrase cards, but you can also buy expansion packs that come with adults-only or themed phrase cards. See it on Amazon here.

5. Exploding Kittens

4.4 stars, 11,800 reviews

Exploding Kittens started out as the most-backed Kickstarter project in history, continues to be one of the post popular card games year after year. It’s sort of like UNO meets Russian Roulette, where you play your cards strategically to avoid ending up with an Exploding Kitten (which knocks you out of the game). This is silly game is a ton of fun for people who enjoy a bit of nonsense! See it on Amazon here.

6. What Do You Meme?

4.5 stars, 4,477 reviews

Warning: Adults Only! This card game is like Apples to Apples if it was based on internet memes. Up to 20 people can play at once, and players submit Caption Cards that they think are best suited to the Photo Card for that round. A rotating judge picks the best combination, and the game goes for as long or short as you like! This game is best suited for people with a working knowledge of memes and an appreciation of raunchy humor. See it on Amazon here.

7. UNO

4.7 stars, 2,536 reviews

UNO is a classic card game that is often overlooked as a party game! With game-altering cards like Reverse, Skip, and Draw 4, it doesn’t take long before hilarious hijinks have everyone laughing! See it on Amazon here.

8. Sushi Go

4.5 stars, 1,478 reviews

In this fast-playing card game, the goal is to grab the best combination of sushi dishes as they whiz by. It’s a more approachable take on card drafting games. Reviewers like that it’s easy to learn, quick to play, and engaging for all ages! Plus, who could resist the adorably illustrated sushi characters on the cards?! See it on Amazon here.

9. Skull

4.5 stars, 119 reviews

My family loves this “betting” game, and it’s easy to learn! Each player starts with 3 flower cards and 1 skull card. The players take turns selecting a card to play face-down on their mat. This continues until a player decides to place a bet, calling out the number of cards they believe they can flip over without revealing a skull card. Bets are raised, then the player with the highest bet flips the cards and hopes to avoid a skull. Expect tons of laughs over foiled plans, failed bluffs, and rampant paranoia. See it on Amazon here.

10. Heads Up!

Nystul family favorite

Heads Up! is an app-based game that’s similar to Taboo. On their turn, one player holds the phone against their forehead to display a word or phrase to the other players. The other players then provide clues to the person whose turn it is to help them correctly guess the word or phrase, continuing with new words and phrases until time runs out. We like that there are no cards or game pieces required, which makes it quick and easy to get a game going! Find out more on EllenTube.

11. Twiggle

Nystul family favorite

You may have seen this game played on Minute to Win It as “Junk In The Trunk,” and now you can play it at home with Twiggle! Each player straps a box of ping-pong balls to their waist. When the game starts, the goal is simple: without using your hands, be the first one to empty all the balls out of your box! This frantic game is sure to end in tears of laughter as you watch the players spin, wiggle, and dance their way to victory! See it on Amazon here.

12. Wet Head

Nystul family favorite

We played this Roulette-style game on a lake trip a couple of summers ago and had such a blast! Players take turn donning a special hat with a reservoir full of water surrounded by pegs. On your turn, spin a spinner to to find out how many pegs you have to remove from the hat. But one unlucky peg will release all of the water onto your head, so choose carefully! This hilarious game is best played outside—and if you want to really raise the stakes, do what my kids did and fill the reservoir with ice-cold water! See it on Amazon here.

13. The Flour Game

Nystul family favorite

Playing this game has been a Christmas tradition since I was a little girl! To play, turn out a packed cup of flour onto a plate and place a Lifesaver candy on top. Players take turns using a butter knife to slice off sections of the flour. The player who causes the flour to collapse gets the “honor” of fishing the Lifesaver out of the flour—using only their mouth! Games don’t get much cheaper, easier, or more fun to watch than this one! (You can read more about the Flour Game by reading the post at the link below!)

Related: How To Play The Flour Game – Silliness Guaranteed!

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8302119 https://www.onegoodthingbyjillee.com/13-hilarious-party-games from The Top Cleaner https://thetopcleaner.tumblr.com/post/181230733197

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5 Signs Hollywood Has No Idea How College Works

As Millennials are set to become the most educated generation in history, it has never been so important to properly prepare young folks for how college truly works. Which is harder than you might think, because Hollywood is constantly filling their smartypants heads with the wrong information. For example …

5

“The Dean” Is In Charge Of So Much Less Than Movies Think

Ah, the dean — the end-of-level boss any fun-loving college kid has to deal with at some point in their education. But are they really gods on campus, Judge-Dredd-like adjudicators who wield absolute power over the lives of their students, kicking them out for the slightest infraction / date rape?

In Monsters University, Mike and Sully are immediately expelled by Dean Hardscrabble for their spooky hijinks without so much as a tribunal or a conversation with the university president.

Disney/Pixar And they become the best scarers, so college degrees are basically meaningless.

In Animal House, whenever one of the Deltas’ “pranks” goes awry, it’s always Dean Wormer who arrives to deal with the situation.

“Hey, why are you going over our grades with us instead of our academic advisors?”

The dean in Necessary Roughness is in the process of shutting down the football program of a major college, which would be a feat slightly more impressive than teleporting the entire school to another dimension. Hell, the dean in Patch Adams has the power to punish Robin Williams merely for being too happy.

Read Next

Affleck Seems To Think It's Ok To Joke About Harassment Now

But in reality, the power of these administrators isn’t that big of a deal, mostly because there are so. Many. Deans. The title of dean is often honorary, and deanships come with so few actual responsibilities that schools hand them out like particularly easy scout badges to their senior staff members. In plenty of colleges, there are now deans for every silly department. In real life, if a club/frat/sorority was doing dangerous or stupid stuff, they’d probably have to deal directly with a faculty advisor, who would then probably report to some kind of designated disciplinary group, who would probably then report to some other board. Even worse, there are real deans out there who hate that they’re now deans instead of professors, because they’re totally unable to do anything they wanted to. The red tape they thought a dean could clip had more red tape behind it. So sure, don’t fuck around with a dean, but mostly because they’re likely miserable enough already.

4

These Days, Everybody Can Get Into College

According to Hollywood, the first major hurdle a college kid faces happens long before their first keg stand: admission. Waiting on the envelopes that decide your future can be so nerve-wracking! The tension! The drama! The disappointments and triumphs! Of course, it wouldn’t be as dramatic if those kids could simply turn to one of a hundred other colleges that are sure to accept them — which is exactly what they can do in reality.

Getting into college has literally never been easier in the entire history of higher education. By some estimates, there are up to 44 percent more seats available for every student who wants to go to college in the United States. Sure, it’s still a total crapshoot to get into prestigious universities like Harvard or Yale. But that pretty decent college two blocks down from your favorite Burger King? Walk in with a credit card, and you get as much learning as your brain can handle.

So consider the lead in Accepted, who, thanks to his straight-C average, is unable to get in anywhere, and thus constructs an entire fake school in order to fool his parents — a ruse which includes completely renovating an abandoned hospital(!!). The movie is set in Ohio, which has a number of schools that would probably happily take our poor hero. For example, there’s the nearby University of Akron, which has a 97 percent acceptance rate.

Universal Pictures Which is even more shocking when you consider that 5 percent of all applications are nothing but feces smeared on the form.

Glee is another show set in Ohio that bafflingly overlooks this. At one point, state-championship-winning quarterback and glee club leader Finn has a chance to play a football game in front of a scout from Ohio State, but his chances of wooing the school fall through when the scout ends up much more enamored of another player. So instead of accepting an almost guaranteed spot at a large number of Mid American Conference schools (or even Division II or III colleges in Ohio, including football powerhouse Mount Union), Finn gives up on the idea of college altogether and joins the Army, where he poetically winds up shooting himself in the foot.

Pfft, name one current pro player who went to a MAC school besides those 74.

3

A Fancypants Letter Of Recommendation Doesn’t Mean A Damn Thing

When it comes to letters of recommendation, Hollywood seems to think that colleges have the same mentality as a street gang — the only way you get in is if someone cool vouches for you (also, if you want to get into Harvard, you need to kill a snitch while the dean of admissions watches). A letter of recommendation is a guaranteed way to stand out from all the other applicants. Unfortunately, because Hollywood has convinced everyone it’s so important, it no longer is.

Partially as a result of too many misleading TV plots, the recommendation letter market has become completely saturated. Many colleges now receive thousands of letters a year. It’s nuts. This is especially the case for the Ivy League, where every other kid’s dad is golf buddies with someone in the Fortune 500. In 2017, a former Dartmouth admissions counselor admitted that even letters of recommendation from former presidents and olympians all blur together after a while. In fact, the one that’s made the most difference was from a school custodian whom a student had become friends with.

So why does Hannah Montana’s older brother Jackson feel the need to slave away for his next-door neighbor? He wants a recommendation letter, and ends up giving his neighbor massages and pedicures and doing his laundry. Even their dad gets dragged into it, forced to go on a date with the neighbor’s obnoxious sister. In the end, Jackson rips up the recommendation letter, which in reality would alter his chances of getting in about as much as ripping up the college janitor’s second napkin while he’s eating at Quizno’s.

And it’s not like Hollywood writers seem unaware of how pointless these letters are, given how often they let their characters fuck them up to make a point. When Doogie Howser has to write a recommendation letter for his best friend Vinnie, he winds up screwing him over by badmouthing his achievements. This doesn’t (as Hollywood tells us) destroy their friendship and Vinnie’s future, but happily teaches Dougie a lesson in friendship. Meanwhile, Me And Earl And The Dying Girl ends with the titular dying girl posthumously explaining in a recommendation letter to a film school why the titular “Me” had missed so much school — to hang out with her, a dying girl. If terminally ill people could guilt NYU into accepting C-students, a lot more Make-A-Wish kids would receive bribes to write recommendation letters.

2

Parents Are Going Back To School Alongside Their Kids, But It Ain’t For Wacky Shenanigans

Yet another hilarious plot device! Dad moves into college with his son, they get closer than they thought they would, and hilarity ensues despite the implication that the “adult” in this situation seemingly has nowhere else to go. Surprisingly, Hollywood kinda gets tidbits correct here and there on this subject — it just completely misses the point of second chance education.

In An Extremely Goofy Movie, our ol’ pal Goofy loses his job and finds out that he needs to go back to college in order to reenter the workforce. Forget about the fact that he was more or less a line worker in a factory; it sets up the entire central conflict that both Goofy and his son Max have a lot of learnin’ to do about each other.

Over in Arrested Development, Michael Bluth chooses to move in with his son George Michael at Cal while attending the University of Phoenix online. The forced close proximity that the duo used to value when living in the attic of the model home has now become a point of tension in their lives.

So the reality is somewhere in between. Parents are now taking more unique routes to further their education, be it part-time evening classes at a local college, or online classes, or even specialized certificate programs. They’re going back to school at higher rates than ever before. What they’re not doing is making much of an attempt to get into wacky shenanigans with their kids. They’re goddamned serious about this education stuff, with plenty of college kids pointing out that their parents are often working harder in classes than they are.

Weirdly enough, a number of parents are going back to school so that they’ll be better equipped to help their kids with homework. Math is hard, guys.

1

You Can’t Get Randomly Hired As A Professor

Being a college professor must be a sweet gig, right? You work few hours and earn crazy amounts of money, and if you land tenure, you’d have to set a student on fire before you could get fired. So it makes sense that a bunch of smartypants protagonists get to become professors at the end of their stories, retiring from hijinks to inspire the next generation of all-white genius heroes.

This happens to sort-of-alright architect Ted Mosby. After losing his job, as a consolation prize for being stood up at the altar, his love rival pulls a few strings and gets Ted a position teaching architecture at Columbia University. Columbia University. Because he knows a guy who knows a guy. We’re not even entirely sure Ted has more than a bachelor’s degree.

In the penultimate episode of Girls, after fans have spent an entire season worrying about her future, Hannah gets also gets this last-minute parachute thrown at her. Thanks to her being a “hot shot” writer, a cool upstate New York college has offered Hannah a job teaching “the internet” to kids who were probably contributing to BuzzFeed before she even figured out how to pick another background for her WordPress blog. Still, the job is steady (with benefits, she proudly exclaims), and will allow her to amply provide for herself and her newborn infant. We know people want their characters to get happy endings, but this is about as believable as Hannah becoming god empress of Mars because the head of NASA liked one of her tweets.

In real life, random goobers have a precisely zero percent chance of being given a steady gig teaching college. Becoming a professor is a difficult and costly process. Almost every position in academia goes to PhD graduates who have spent their entire education desperately trying to make sure they’d never have to look for a job in the real world. And if their discipline is in the humanities (as it is with writer Hannah and architect Ted), even a doctorate only gives these nerds about a 50/50 chance of landing a job in academia.

But even taking into account sitcom characters’ leprechaun levels of luck, wanting to get into teaching college isn’t that good of a career move. Starting professors make little over poverty wages, get no health benefits, and their job longevity is worse than that of a Bond villain. There’s no stumbling into that bad a deal; you have to be really committed to not wanting to become a Starbucks barista.

Isaac is still way too proud of his college degree. Follow him on Twitter.

You probably think we’re going to just link to that college sweater from Animal House and we just did, BUT you could really use a 6-pack of air freshener if you’re in a dorm. Thank us later!

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Ice Cream and Fire Oven Pizza - Chapter 20

Pairing: Elsa x Lea/Axel || Side Pairing: Riku x OC

Summary: Modern AU. She's an introvert ball of nerves who works at Ice Palace, a mall food court ice cream shop. He's the outgoing, sassy goofball who works at the Pizza Planet across the way. Hilarity, snark, and fluffy romcom hijinks ensue.

Word Count: 10,096

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

Credit for super friggin’ cute and super friggin’ amazing cover art goes to the super friggin’ talented ky-jane here on tumblr!

Turns out once you've smooched a guy on the nose, things like holding his hand and other such minor displays of affection no longer seem so daunting.

Sure, even as I reached for his hand now, some small amount of mental self-cheerleading was still required in order to work myself up to it. And okay, the tiny flutter in my chest when my fingers brushed against his almost had me pulling back faster than you could say 'emotion-phobia.' But I didn't. And hey, this was way more than I could have brought myself to do even just a few short days ago. This was kind of huge for me, so I think I'd earned the right to take a little pride in my headway so far. Who knew, I just might pull off my half of this whole pretend dating deal yet.

Lea glanced down at my touch. Then he grinned, pulling my hand up to press a soft kiss to the back of it before setting it back down on the dinner table, his thumb trailing light circles along my knuckles. Picking right back up where he'd left off in the conversation, he said, "Oh yeah, GUMMI ships got all sorts of badass tech going on now, the likes of which would put both Star Trek and Star Wars to shame. Super, ultra, mega-laser cannons, impenetrable force fields, swarms of nanobots that can repair any and all damage just like that," he snapped his fingers. Lea then planted an elbow on the table and leaned forward to add in a conspiratorial whisper, "They even have defense systems in the form of giant, exploding space duckies."

Saïx gave him a flat look from where he sat on the other side of the table from us. "Not true."

"Sure it is!" Lea chirped, straightening back up in his chair. "I mean, how else are they gonna fight all those aliens out there?"

Propping my cheek in my free palm, I cocked an eyebrow at him as I felt an upward tug at one corner of my lips. "Aliens? As in little green men?"

"No, no, that'd just be silly," he waved off with a scoff. "As in lil shadow men. Creepy bastards with big, yellow eyes and twitchy antennae." Still holding my hand, he brought both of his own up to either side of his head, miming said antennae with his index fingers.

Closing his eyes, Saïx gave a low sigh into his wine glass. "Also not true."

Lea shrugged, "Oh sure, they're not all like that. There was that blue one they found over in Hawaii, what was its code name again… Experiment 626? Yeah, the government got that one covered up real fast. And don't even get me started on the total dreadnought that is Schwarzgeist lurking out there somewhere in the night sky that absolutely obliterated the USS Endymion."

"The sheer amount of not true you are spouting off right now is positively staggering," Saïx deadpanned, eyelids drooping as he dabbed his napkin to his mouth. "You really need to stop staying up late every night reading all those conspiracy theories out there on the internet."

Lips curling into an evil smirk, Lea said, "But how else am I gonna royally piss you off so much?"

That earned him a small scowl from his brother.

This was basically it. The whole evening in a nutshell from the moment I'd stepped foot into Lea's apartment. Like me, it seemed that Saïx was not much of a talker, at least not amongst strangers. Unlike me however, it appeared to have less to do with social anxiety and more like he just plain wasn't a fan of the whole talking thing and so only did it when he deemed it absolutely necessary. Which I could totally respect. It was just that between the two of us, it had a tendency to leave a bit of a void in the conversation every now and then. Luckily, it was void that Lea was only too happy to fill.

Saïx had been the one to cook dinner. It seemed that that was part of the breakdown of chores in their living arrangement: he usually handled supper while breakfast was Lea's job. Saïx and I had already emptied our plates by now while Lea was still working on his, seeing as how he was otherwise preoccupied with talking a mile a minute. The meal had been a very nice chicken bruschetta pasta paired with a red wine from a fancy looking bottle. The latter I'd thought to be a bit of an odd choice, as I didn't picture Lea being much of a wine drinker. But there he was, sipping away at it, pinkie raised as he did so for an added bit of flair. I guess he just wasn't picky and would drink whatever was put in front of him. I, on the other hand, had decided not to partake. Would rather keep a clear head during this bit of subterfuge we were playing out in front of Saïx.

The point was, there was wine. And wine equaled a wine tipsy Lea. And a wine tipsy Lea, as I was discovering, equaled a chatty Lea. The boy was already chatty to begin with, but this was an all new level. This was chatty on steroids. Needless to say, he was having no trouble whatsoever keeping the conversation rolling.

"Why are we even discussing the GUMMI space program again?" Saïx asked in his bored monotone.

Lea drove his fork down into his pasta, twirling it around. "You know you're always a total slut for outer space, man. The moon and constellations and all that crap is your jam."

"Yes, but our guest," he gestured towards me, "might not find the topic nearly so interesting."

Trailing a finger along the rim of my still full wine glass, I said, "Actually, I've been fascinated by the research their lead mechanical scientist Cid Highwind has been doing in the field of warping technology. With his help, it might not be long before our ships can travel to other solar systems."

Both men just blinked silently at me for a moment.

What? So I liked to keep up on current events by reading a news article every now and again online. It really was not a big deal.

Saïx was the one to speak up first. "Yes. It's said Highwind is hoping to have a working prototype in less than five years."

Do my eyes deceive me? Was that the hint of a smile ghosting over Saïx's mouth?

Oh wow, I think I'd managed to score some points.

...not that it mattered, of course. Since this was only a fake relationship, after all, so getting in the brother's good graces didn't really mean all that much to me. Not one bit. Nope.

Nuzzling his nose to my ear, Lea beamed, "Hell yeah! My baby knows shit!"

"More than you do at least," Saïx sniffed blandly.

Expression relaxing into a sly grin now, he shot back, "I know enough to know about an astral sea monster whose sheer mass is gargantuan enough to blot out the very sun, the terror of the cosmos, eater of spacecrafts and destroyer of worlds, the dreaded galactic space whale," he paused for dramatic effect before splaying a hand out before him as he intoned in hushed reverence, "...Monstro."

Saïx grumbled under his breath and facepalmed.

"By my count, that's the eighth time he's done that tonight," Lea stage whispered to me. "Just five more and I'll have beat my all-time record."

I gave a low hum of amusement. "I suppose it's important to have goals in life."

He snorted, returning his attention to his food as he scooped a forkful into his mouth. I noticed that he'd incidentally stained one side of his lips in the process and I had a brief flashback to a familiar scene of Sora and Kairi. Of the pair of them sitting in the food court and Kairi kissing away a similarly located blotch on her boyfriend. Now that right there had been a seriously advanced dating technique and one I was in no way ready to try out myself. You kidding me? I was still very much a beginner here and the very idea of trying to pull off such a maneuver already had my ears turning pink. That said, a newbie like me still had some options, especially with my newfound ability to make the first move and actually touch my (fake) boyfriend without completely spazzing out.

I tucked in my lower lip, hesitating briefly as my pulse thudded a little more loudly against my eardrums. But then I slowly lifted my hand.

Lea visibly stiffened as he felt my thumb brush at the corner of his mouth, wiping the smudge away. As I began to retract my arm however, he dropped his fork to snatch my wrist and stop me. I arched an eyebrow at him. He smiled back with hooded eyes. Then he gently tugged my thumb up to his lips and licked the sauce off it.

Breath hitching, I yanked my hand free of his grasp. His smile just turned smug as he winked at me.

Apparently, Wine Tipsy Lea had even less boundaries than usual.

As I wiped my thumb with a napkin and ducked my head to hide my boiling cheeks, I heard Saïx mutter, "One has to wonder what a woman of your obvious intelligence and sophistication even sees in an asinine clown such as my brother."

"Well let me think about it," Lea's eyes danced as he folded his hands together, steepling his index fingers so the joined tips touched his mouth. "Perhaps it's my devilish charm and debonair good looks?"

"Oh come now," he said cooly with another sip of his wine, "if you're going to be making things up, you should attempt to make them at least halfway credible."

"He makes me laugh," I suddenly heard myself saying. As both pairs of eyes turned towards me, I immediately felt self-conscious. I mean seriously, what a stupid, cliché thing to say. But that didn't make it any less true, any less… meaningful. I wasn't someone who laughed a lot. In fact, before I'd run out on my wedding, I could probably count the number of times I'd laughed in the last year on one hand.

Fidgeting with my fingers, I pushed forward, "He's sweet… and thoughtful. And genuine. He's not afraid to be himself. And because of that, I find it easier to be… myself... around him." Another thing that did not come easy to me.

As Lea slipped an arm around my shoulders so he could pull me closer and plant a swift peck to my temple, Saïx gave a soft harrumph, "Well, I guess there's no accounting for taste."

"Psst, Saïx," Lea lowered his voice, bending forward over the table and cupping a hand to his mouth. "The moon landing was faked."

With a heavy sigh through his nose, he merely rose from his chair and started gathering the plates and silverware together. As he reached for mine, I protested, "No, that's okay, I can take care of it."

"You're the guest," he said simply as he swiped it up in one smooth motion.

"Best not argue, otherwise he might unleash his berserker wrath on you," Lea sniggered to me. However, when Saïx next took his plate away (still with food on it), he snapped, "Hey! I wasn't done with that!"

"Then you should have eaten faster," he responded dryly.

He stuck his tongue out at him. "Oh yeah? Well the earth is flat." As Saïx turned towards the kitchen, the plates stacked in his hand "accidentally" smacked into Lea's forehead, forcing a small grunt out of him.

I hid a grin behind my hand as Lea pressed his fingertips to the fresh sore spot with a soft tch. Then he downed the rest of his wine as he stood up himself, gathering the other glasses between his fingers on one hand while balling up napkins together in the other. He looked at me, face brightening, "Why don'tcha go on and take a seat in the living room. I'll join ya after I finish helping Saïx clean up."

"Alright," I nodded. He used a hand (the one stuffed full of napkins) to pull my seat out as I stood and gave him a tiny smile before moving past him. Reaching the blue sofa, I moved some of its mismatched pillows to clear a space and took a seat on the far end, tugging the hem of my dress down to cover my knees as I listened to the sound of running water and clinking dishware coming from the kitchen.

I didn't have to wait long before the boys were rejoining me. Lea came bounding over first, plopping himself unceremoniously down onto the couch with me.

Leaving one whole cushion space between us.

I furrowed my brow over at him. However, I did not have to wonder for long at his unexpected seating choice.

For next thing I knew, he'd flopped over onto his side and was using my lap as a makeshift pillow.

My eyes widened and I jolted, one hand going to my chest. His cheek nestled against my leg as one hand went to my knee, his thumb tracing lightly along its top curve over the fabric. "Mmm… you're comfy!" he sighed contentedly.

It was official. Wine Tipsy Lea had absolutely zero boundaries.

Halfway into taking a seat into a maroon armchair to our right, Saïx stopped. Then he straightened back up to his full height with a tired, drawn-out huff. "Perhaps some coffee would be in order."

I gradually relaxed, my eyes crinkling as I glanced down at Lea with a resigned smile. He was like a kitten cuddling into my lap. A really big kitten. I half expected him to start purring. "Perhaps that might be for the best," I murmured in agreement.

My eyes lifted long enough to follow Saïx as he made his way back over towards their kitchen, long blue hair swaying behind him as he went. When I looked back down, I realized with a tiny start that one of my hands had taken it upon itself to start lightly stroking Lea's hair.

Huh. How did that cheeky little devil get there?

I should stop.

But it was just so very... soft. Softer than I remembered. So soft that it felt like I was doing something wrong, something… forbidden by daring to touch it.

...okay, I really, really needed to stop.

...ten seconds. Just ten more measly, innocent seconds, then I'd stop.

There was a low, pleased hum in Lea's throat as my fingers continued to slowly run through his fiery locks. Then he rolled over onto his back, capturing my hand with his to press a gentle kiss into my palm. It tickled and my heart stuttered as I felt a familiar heat creeping up my neck. He... did know Saïx was no longer nearby to witness this little production he was putting on... right? Then again, maybe Lea was too far gone by now to realize his brother had left the room and so was still on boyfriend autopilot. Cradling my hand to his chest just over his heart, his other came up to start fiddling with the end of my braid from where it hung forward over my shoulder as he grinned up at me. "Wanna know?"

My head tipped to one side, "...know what?"

"You said what you see in me, so now it's my turn. Wanna know what I see in you?"

I blinked at him. Then my eyes briefly flicked over to Saïx just beyond the island counter where he was filling a coffee maker with water. Could he hear us all the way over there? Hopefully… this might be good for show. With a low snort, I planted my elbow on the armrest next to me, propping my cheek against my knuckles as I dropped my gaze back to Lea. "Sure, why not? Go for it."

This should be good.

His grin twitched wider. "You're kooky."

...well I certainly wasn't disappointed.

Though that wasn't quite the word I would have expected out of him. In fact, not the word I would have ever expected out of anyone when used to describe me.

One of my eyebrows quirked. "I'm… kooky?"

He nodded, "Mm-hm! Most people don't know it, but it's there. Way, way deep down in here," he tapped a finger to a spot just below my collarbone before going back to toying with my braid. "Ya try to keep it hidden. Don't like people seeing that side of you for some reason. But I've caught glimpses of it. I like it. Makes me feel like I'm in on a secret no one else is. And you're fun. Hella smart, too. And so goddamn pretty."

"That so?" I muttered, resisting the urge to roll my eyes.

Wine Tipsy Lea was laying it on a bit thick.

Still… I was smiling despite myself.

"And that. Right there," he tapped a finger to my lips. "Your smile is gorgeous. Was the first thing about you that had me head over heels. I love being the one to put it there. Love being the one that can make you laugh."

Did I say a bit thick? Try instead a lot thick. Too thick. Like two metric tons too thick. Jeez, perhaps I'd be better off hoping Saïx couldn't actually hear all this. Even he might think it a bit too much to be believable.

Lea's eyes softened as he continued to stare up at me, his hand shifting over from my mouth to lightly graze his curled fingers against my cheek, leaving tiny tingles in their wake. "...I wish we were real."

Insert record screech.

E-E-Excuse me?!

My heart stopped. Like legit full on stopped. There were at least three full seconds there where if a medical examiner had checked my pulse, they would have probably declared me dead.

Lea froze, his whole body locking up. His eyes grew round and his face blanched, his expression now a perfect mirror of what I imagined my own must have looked like in that exact moment as he seemingly and immediately realized his mistake.

Now I definitely hoped Saïx couldn't overhear us! There seemed to be no reaction from over in the kitchen beyond the sound of water beginning to boil. Which was good. Maybe our cover wasn't blown and-

...and so not the point right now! The point was… was…

Ex-friggin'-scuse me?!

Wish we were real? What did that even mean? Real what? Did he mean that he wanted… that he wished he and I… that we were a… an actual, honest to god coupl-

No! No, I must have misheard. Yeah, that had to be it! He hadn't said… er… what I thought he'd said. No, what he'd probably actually said was, uh… was he wished we were… seals. Yeah, that's probably what it was! Seals were neat! And… and cute! I wouldn't blame him for wanting to be one, especially in his less than totally sober state! Or… or… he could have said that he… he fished… for Neil. Who was Neil, one might wonder? Got me! But you know what? Good for Lea, helping his ol' pal Neil out with fishing like that. Nice guy, that Lea. Such a giver, such a-

"TORS!" Lea suddenly shouted, practically making me jump out of my skin as he shot up off my lap and scooted all the way over to sit at the opposite end of the couch. He had a hand clasped over his nose and mouth, doing a poor job of hiding his reddened (wine flushed?) face. "Realtors! I wish we were realtors, is what I was trying to say!" he hastily clarified, shooting a weak chuckle my way.

I stared at him blankly.

Wha…? Realtors…?

Apparently, he wasn't done. "Yeah! You know, one of those power couples you hear about all the time! Partners in everything, from romance to real estate! That's some real lovey-dovey crap right there, don'tcha think? The epitome of passion! The sappiest dream to ever sap! The-"

"What inanity are you babbling on about now?" Saïx returned, causing me for the second time in as many minutes to nearly die of cardiac arrest. He was carrying two steaming mugs, one in each hand.

"Nothing! Not a damn thing! Nope! Total nonsense!" Lea said quickly, snatching up one of the cups and rapidly blowing on the coffee a couple times before knocking back the whole thing in one go. He pulled the cup away from his lips with a wince, probably suffering from a tongue that was now at least mildly burnt. Then he plastered on a grin, "You know how I get when I'm lost in the sauce, man. I start rambling off total bullshit that I don't even mean. Never. Mm-mm, nope, not one bit! Every word of it? Total garbage. Yup! Heh…"

I flinched back from the second warm mug that was suddenly being offered me. I'd barely had a chance to hold up my hand and shake my head before Lea was grabbing that one too, handling this one with smaller, more cautious sips.

...realtors.

Huh.

Okay, sure, why not?

Not like it was any crazier than any of the other explanations I'd come up with myself. Especially when you considered Lea was more than a little buzzed. People said nonsensical things all the time while under the influence. I'd know, I'd seen Anna in a state of three sheets to the wind on more than one occasion. You should have heard half the things she'd blathered on about at the time… adventures through magical winter wonderlands, talking snowmen, singing rock people, whole castles made of-

Shoot, Saïx was talking to me. Or rather, had been talking to me for a while and now seemed to be expecting some sort of reply. Still a little rattled, I scrounged together a flimsy but polite smile, "I'm sorry, what was that?"

One thin eyebrow arched ever so slightly at me as he cradled a fuming mug between his hands. Apparently he'd gone back at some point to get one for himself as well. "...I heard you were present during one of my sleepwalking episodes a couple weeks back. I hope I didn't give you too much of a fright."

"Oh! No! No, it's-" I got distracted as I felt Lea gingerly inching back over to sit beside me. Probably trying to salvage some semblance of the relationship pretense. However, his affections had become somewhat subdued, restricted now to only resting an arm along the sofa cushions behind my head and his knee brushing against mine as he continued to nurse the coffee. Regathering my train of thought, I tried again, "It's, uh… it's alright. Not your fault. Nor was I bothered by it at all. Just had to stay out of your way, is all."

"Still I-"

"Ya know what?" Lea suddenly piped up, plonking the now empty mug down onto the coffee table right next to the first one. "Sorry guys, but I think we gotta call it an early night! I'm beat! And I mean woof! Dog-tired!"

My eyebrows knit together as I glanced over at him. "...but you just chugged two full cups of coffee."

...what are you doing, you fool, shut up! He was probably trying to rescue us by putting a merciful end to what, as of the last five minutes, had officially become one royal disaster of an evening!

He bat a hand through the air, "That? Please, that was just to help sober my drunk ass up! Trust me, caffeine doesn't do jackshit to me when it comes to staying awake."

Saïx's mouth had settled into a flat line as his green gaze shifted back and forth between Lea and me. "Very well," he said finally, closing his eyes as he raised his cup to his lips, "I presume my noise canceling headphones will be a necessity while I work tonight."

I frowned. "Noise canceling…?"

Lea cleared his throat and gave a sheepish chuckle while scratching a spot behind his ear. "He, uh… thinks you're spending the night."

"Oh…" I said slowly before his words had a chance to fully sink in. Then they did. "Oh!" I repeated more loudly, eyes widening as I rocketed up to my feet, "You mean sex!"

...what the actual frick, mouth?!

"Which is a thing!" Apparently, I was only getting started. Panic mode was in full effect now. "A thing d-dating couples do! Which… which we are! Dating, that is. And a couple! Can't, uh… can't forget that part." Dear lord, where's a gag when you need one? "Which, I don't know w-why you would. Because clearly we're a couple. Yup! That's us!" Yeesh, at least when Lea had been yammering off nonsense, he'd had wine coursing through his veins. What was my excuse? "A couple! A couple who, ah…" Oh no. "...who have, er…" Don't you say it. Don't you dare say it. "...who have sex!"

I winced.

Just shoot me. Shoot me now.

"Oh yeah, lots and lots of it!" Oh great. There was more. "All the time! In all s-sorts of, um… places. My room. His room. Oh look," I pointed both my hands towards Lea's door, "there's his room now!" Make an excuse to leave. Any excuse. " I think we'll go in there now and make with all the sex!" Not that excuse! Pause, followed by tiny, nervous laughter from me. "Yup."

Then before I knew it, I'd bolted into said room, door crashing shut behind me. I pressed my back to it, clutching both hands to my mouth as I hyperventilated and trembled, eyes huge and unblinking as I stared off into space, registering absolutely zilch of what was in front of me now.

What.

Did.

I.

Just.

Do?!

You know what, cheeks? I won't even try and stop you this time. You go right on ahead and blush your nonexistent little hearts out. Fry my face to a friggin' crisp, for all I care. I won't judge. You have every right after… that. Whatever the heck that even was just now!

Oh gosh, had I really just gone on and on about, hrm… intimate relations? In front of Lea's brother? That... had to be... the most spectacular case of anxiety-induced word vomit to date from me yet! What was wrong with me? Who does that? No, seriously, I demand answers this instant, what in the everliving-

A soft knock at the door made me yelp and jump away, whipping around to face it, heart trying to jackhammer its way out of my chest. I was greeted by my own frazzled reflection staring back at me from the full-length mirror hanging there. My face could have been mistaken for a ripe, oversized tomato.

"...El?" Lea's muffled voice came through from the other side. "You might've, uh… kinda forgot something."

A crease formed between my eyebrows. Forgot something? No, I don't think so. I glanced down at myself, hands patting over my dress. Phone in pocket? Check. Shoes on feet? Check. No purse, I hadn't used one tonight. No coat, I'd thought it too warm out for it. My gaze settled on the door once more, eyes scrunching. "What did I forget?"

"...me?"

Oh.

Fudge.

After that, ah… stirring speech I'd just given out there a moment ago, it would certainly help drive the point home if I had him in here with me, wouldn't it?

After all, it took two to, ahem... tango.

As I reached a hand towards the doorknob, I realized I hadn't even locked it. Lea must have only been knocking to be considerate. A consideration I greatly appreciated, especially when you take into account that this was in fact his room that I'd taken sanctuary in. Taking a deep breath and expelling it slowly in one last ditch effort to calm my nerves, my still shaking fingers closed around the knob and twisted.

I cracked the door ajar about an inch, just barely enough for me to peek one eye through. Arms crossed and one shoulder propped against the doorframe, Lea tilted his head with a tiny smile, "Hey."

My gaze fell to my feet for a moment before flicking back up to meet his. "...hi."

"Can I come in?"

I hesitated for another heartbeat then nodded, pulling the door open further and taking a couple steps back. He turned his head to one side, calling out a quick, "Night, man!" to Saïx before walking in and closing the door.

Ah, awkward silence. Ye hath returned. Never could stay away from me for long, could you?

"So…" I hugged myself and decided to get into a staring contest with the floor. "...think he likes me?"

Lea snerked, folding one arm behind his back, hand hooking his opposite elbow as he leaned back against the mirror hanging from his door. "You kidding? He adores you. Practically ready to call ya sister-in-law."

I attempted a smile. It came across as more of a grimace. "Even after I was… all…"

"...smooth and cool as a cucumber?" he supplied, his voice chipper. "Absolutely! And you said you couldn't lie," he teased. "You handled that one like a total pro!"

...oh. Wow, he was right. Not about the "pro" part, obviously, but that I had lied. For the first time since this whole charade started, I'd told a straight out, bald-faced lie. It had been a monumental failure, to be sure, but hey… we all had to start somewhere. Guess I had to take my silver linings wherever I could.

"Gah, I should have just made up some sort of… of excuse or something." I started pacing slowly, eyes still downcast as I brought one hand up to chew on my thumbnail. "Said I couldn't stay because I had an opening shift tomorrow."

He shook his head, "Saïx knows you work at the mall with me, so he also knows I woulda happily driven ya over from here, even at the crack of dawn."

Frowning, I tried again, "Well then, I could have said that… ah! That you had an early test tomorrow so I shouldn't be keeping you up late!"

"Nah, he knows me too well," he smirked, waggling his eyebrows. "Knows I'd never let a lil thing like that stop me."

I blinked. Then I buried my face in my hands with a groan. "Oh god, I can never face him again. Not after that." Dragging my palms down to peek out between my fingers, I grumbled, "I'm guessing it's safe to assume he's retracted his 'woman of obvious intelligence and sophistication' comment." Ha. Showed what Saïx knew.

Shrugging one shoulder, he laughed, "I wouldn't worry 'bout it too much. Just another side of your kookiness that I mentioned earlier. 'Sides, he knows what a nervous, jumpy creature you are."

Up quirked one eyebrow. "...he does?"

"Well, he does now."

...fair point.

One that did not make me feel better.

"And look at the bright side," Lea continued. "It's good this happened here rather than in front of your folks! Now you'll be better prepared to handle it the next time it comes up."

My lips twisted sourly, "I guess so." As bad as this already was, it would have spelled utter disaster if that little freakout had occurred during the upcoming weekend with my parents. We're talking one epic catastrophe here, like meteor-taking-out-the-dinosaurs kind of catastrophe. Then again, I didn't particularly see this exact set of circumstances arising while I was around my family. Still… best to be on the safe side. I wrinkled my brow, "Better prepared… how?"

"Ah, well…" he pursed his lips to one side, tapping a finger against his other arm. "For starters… and I'm just spitballing here, but next time you could maybe just, ya know… not say the word sex repeatedly? If at all? I'm thinking this is 'less is more' kinda situation."

"...good call."

"Heh," he paused, rubbing his shoulder. "So... looks like we're bunkmates."

I lowered my gaze once more and brought my curled fingers up to my mouth, covering my deepening frown. "Yeah… looks like…"

I wish we were real.

Gah, why was I still even thinking about that?! Lea had already explained it, hadn't he? Realtors. The word he had actually said, had been in the middle of saying, was realtors. It was nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just the ramblings of a guy who'd had a little too much to drink. Why was I still stuck on this?

My face must have been an open book. "Listen, I… meant what I said earlier," he spoke abruptly and my eyes darted up to lock on his. He averted his gaze and scratched his cheek, "You can't take anything I say too seriously when I've been drinking. Often my brain is just stringing random words together and spitting out the first arbitrary bullshit it can come up with. Like a toddler that's just learned to talk, regurgitating words it doesn't even understand just cuz it heard it from someone else at some point. Half the time, the things I say when I'm liquored up don't even make any sense." His eyes settled on me once more, this time accompanied by a weak smile. "So just don't be too… concerned about any gibberish that came blurting outta my stupid drunk mouth, 'kay? And you won't hear another peep of it tonight. Those two coffees are kicking in fast, so I'm much more clear headed now."

I tugged at my braid before folding my arms tightly together once more. "...okay."

And now onward to Act 1, Scene 2 of the award-winning and critically acclaimed musical: Awkward Silence.

"I have a lizard!"

My head rocked back at Lea's sudden declaration out of nowhere, both eyebrows shooting up my forehead. "...a lizard?"

He nodded eagerly, grinning big now. "Yeah! Wanna see? Come take a look!" He moved off to his left towards one corner of the room and for the first time I realized that there was a large glass terrarium situated on a long, low table in that spot. Lea squatted down next to it, waving me over to join him. I obliged and when I got close enough, he took hold of my hand and tugged me down into a crouch beside him. He squinted into the enclosure for a second, scanning all the rocks and plants inside before, "Ah-ha!" He pointed, tapping his finger against the glass, "There he is!"

And indeed, there he was, curled up inside a small, hollowed out log and blinking back at us. He was a tiny thing, all big eyes and blue skin except for the purple markings running down his back. "Oh wow," I slowly smiled, "you really do have a lizard. Why didn't you say anything last time I was here?"

"Cuz 'come into my bedroom so I can introduce you to my lizard' sounds a lil sketch, don'tcha think?" he chuckled, waggling his pointer finger up and down at his pet in greeting.

A soft snort. "Yeah, that might have earned you a dubious look." The critter crawled out into the open now, giving us a curious look. "Can I hold him?"

Lea flashed some dimple, "Course!" Straightening up, he moved the terrarium's lamps to one side before sliding out the lid and reaching inside, mumbling, "C'mere, Bruni." Picking the reptile up, he then offered him to me, "Now, the lil guy's usually shy at first but warms up quick and can be a bit of a flirt."

I stood as well, holding one hand out. Bruni cautiously put one stubby-toed foot on my fingers, eyeing me warily before fully walking the rest of the way into my palm. He was small enough to fit perfectly in it. Then he cocked his head up at me. I cocked mine back then hummed a low laugh, stroking a finger along the top of his head. That seemed to be all it took to win him over, for he then bellyflopped into a cuddle against my palm before rolling over onto his back.

"Bit of a flirt indeed," I murmured, rubbing his tummy with my fingertip. "What kind is he?"

"Salamander. Which, I know, technically not a lizard. But feels simpler most of the time just telling people that's what he is." He fell silent for a second, eyes crinkling as he watched us. Then he walked past me, saying, "Hey, welcome to my room by the way!"

I turned to face him and for the first time got a real good look at the place. If I had to pick one word to describe it, that word would be pandemonium.

Clothes were strewn about everywhere, covering floor and furniture alike - pretty much anywhere conceivable besides actually inside a dresser. Bookshelves stacked high with no rhyme or reason, textbooks next to movie DVDs (from action thriller to cornball classics) next to game CD cases next to vinyl records. Walls and ceiling plastered with posters, mostly of classic rock bands, but there was the occasional renegade: one here in which a dangerous looking man posed with an Assassin's Creed logo across the bottom, another one there depicting a grim reaper character dual-wielding sickles that looked to be from another video game of some sort. A queen-sized bed with black and red sheets buried beneath a mess of paper and more textbooks, along with a closed laptop and his shoulder bag tossed carelessly on top of it all.

And that was just barely scratching the chaotic surface. Needless to say, it was a lot to take in.

"Pardon the mess," he gave a rueful chuckle, scrambling to snatch clothes up off the carpet here and there to chuck into the laundry basket residing in his open closet, just under a black, full-length coat hanging from the rung in there. "Wasn't expecting any overnight visitors."

"It's, uh…" So many adjectives, so little time. As I searched for a word, I felt Bruni crawling up my sleeve. I kept an eye on him to make sure he didn't slip, but otherwise let him do his own thing. At last, I settled on, "...big."

"Yup! I got the masters! Comes complete with its own bathroom and everything," he jerked a thumb towards a second closed door on the other side of the room. By now, Bruni had found his way onto my shoulder and was snuggling into the crook of my neck. My fingers came up to pet along his spine. Narrowing his eyes on the salamander, Lea went on, "Surprisingly, Saïx prefers the smaller, cozier room. He's a minimalist, so not like he needs all that much space anyhow. Which works out for me, especially since I used to, er… heh, shall we say, host more sleepovers?"

I rolled my eyes and opened my mouth, but whatever I'd been about to say was forever lost.

For that's when Bruni did it.

He took the plunge.

Straight down into the neckline of my dress.

I yelped, arms crossing over my bosom. Lea's eyes widened, "Motherfu-" He lunged forward, hands outstretched before him like he had every intention of going down in there after Bruni. Then Lea froze, seemed to think better of it and instead folded his arms together, shoving his hands into his armpits as he looked away. "You, uh…" he cleared his throat, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye, "...you okay?"

"Yeah. Just tickles a bit," I wrinkled my nose, trying not to squirm as I felt the little guy climbing around against my chest. Thankfully, it wasn't long before he moved over to start making his way down my sleeve. I gave my arm a gentle shake to help speed his progress along and eventually he came tumbling out into my palm.

"Sorry 'bout that," Lea scooped him back out of my hand into his, using the other to ruffle his hair with a tiny, bashful smile. "I know I said he was a flirt, but he's never been this brazenly forward before."

Shaking my head with a snerk, I said, "It's fine, really. Don't worry about it."

Walking back over to the terrarium, he turned a scowl onto the salamander. "And what do you have to say for yourself, young man?" Bruni just answered with a lizard grin, flicking his tongue out to lick his own eyeball. "Smug lil shit," Lea grumbled, setting him back down inside his home.

One corner of my lips twitching up, I turned to take another look around his room. Despite Lea's hasty tidying up, his carpet was still a disaster zone of shirts and other garments. As I began to carefully navigate it, I asked, "So how are we doing this?"

"Doing…?" I could hear the frown in his voice.

I looked back at him. "Sleeping arrangements?"

"Oh! That's easy!" Having now set the lid and lamps back into their rightful places, Lea walked towards me with his grin resurfacing. "You get the bed, I'll take the floor."

My eyelids drooped. "You can't sleep on the floor, that's ridiculous. It's your room."

"Exactly!" he started clearing the papers up off his comforter, gathering them all together and tucking them away inside one of the textbooks. "It's my room, so I'll sleep wherever I want in it! And tonight, the floor's looking pretty damn good!"

I huffed. "Enough with the chivalry already. I'll sleep on the floor."

He picked up his laptop and made his way over to a large mound of clothes. Oh wait. There was a desk hiding under there, or so I realized as soon as he started shoving all the shirts and whatnot aside. Placing the laptop down on top of it, he then shrugged back at me, "Hey, if that'll make ya happy, more power to ya. Doesn't change the fact that I will not be taking my siesta in that bed tonight."

A low harrumph in my throat. "Fine."

"Fine," he agreed, now opposite the bed from me as he hung his bag from a wall hook there. Then he squinted one eye at me, "So it's settled then. We're both sleeping on the floor. Like the couple of rational, mature, grown-ass adults that we are. While the perfectly good bed goes to waste. Cuz that makes total sense."

I shot him a deadpan look. "Alright, fine then. Bruni gets the bed."

He slapped his forehead, dragging his hand down his face with an exasperated laugh. "C'mon, El, will you just take the bed please? I won't be able to fall asleep if I know you're just curled up on the floor."

"Sounds like not my problem," I crossed my arms with a smirk. Oh-ho, that's right. I could be stubborn when I wanted to be.

"Woman! Just take the freaking bed before I throw you in the damn thing!" both his hands gestured in mild annoyance at said bed.

Scoffing, I turned my head to one side. "Please, it's the twenty-first century, your neanderthal tactics won't work on me."

Green eyes flashing, he said in a low, even voice, "They will if I make good on 'em."

My gaze narrowed on him now. "You wouldn't dare."

He bent forward, fists planted on the mattress as he gave me a tiny glare across it. "Wanna bet?"

My legs turned traitor and defected, sitting me down on the bed so quick, you would have missed the motion if you'd blinked.

"There now," his face immediately lit up like the first rays of sunlight at dawn. "Was that so hard?"

I made a little hmph in my throat, tucking my legs beside me as I smoothed my dress over my knees with as much dignity as I could muster. "I'll have you know that I chose of my own free will to take the bed tonight and it had nothing to do with any thinly veiled threats that may or may not have been made on your part." I unzipped my ankle boots, letting them fall to the carpet below with a couple of heavy thuds. "I mean, I am the guest after all, it's only proper etiquette that I sleep in the bed. I'm just making sure you're adequately performing your role as the host."

A soft snerk came from his nose as he kicked off his own shoes and spread his arms wide to give me a mock bow, "Well, thank you, Miss Manners, I dunno what I'd ever do without you."

"You're welcome," I sniffed lightly. It was nice of him to let me have this. I then felt the bed quake beneath me as Lea flopped down beside me, stretching out comfortably and cushioning his head with his arms. I blinked down at him. "...I'm sorry, did that conversation just end differently than I thought it did?"

He raised an eyebrow at me, "Hm?"

"Thought you were taking the floor."

"I am, but that's not until lights out. Right now, we're just chilling!" he beamed. But then his expression relaxed and he propped himself up slightly on his elbows, cocking his head at me. "This is okay, right?"

"Er…" I glanced away, gnawing on my bottom lip.

Yeesh, I seriously needed to grow up. This wasn't a big deal. Like, at all. So what if we were sitting in the same bed? Nothing to freak out about. I mean, sure, I'd never shared a bed with a guy before, not even my ex. Come to think of it, I'd never even been in a boy's bedroom before. But hey, there was a first time for everything. This would be fine. I would be fine.

"...yeah, it's okay," I finally responded. He frowned, not looking convinced. I put on my best brave smile and managed a tiny laugh, "Really, it's fine." Or at least it would be once we stopped talking about it. Wanting to move the conversation along to something else, I searched my brain for a new topic. "So… you and Saïx…" I drew my knees up, hugging them to my chest, "...do you always mess with each other like that?"

"Oh yeah, all the time," he chuckled, settling back down into his pillow and folding one arm back behind his head. "Nothing says you care like making the other person's life a constant living hell!"

Settling my chin down onto my knees, I snorted. "Remind me never to let you care about me."

"Too late!" he chirped. My eyeroll belied the tiny cartwheel my stomach was doing. "'Sides, all siblings are like that. I'm sure you and Anna have terrorized the crap outta each other more times than you can even count."

"Well yeah," I turned my head to look over at him, resting my ear to my legs instead, "but that was way back when we were children. We grew out of it a long time ago."

Lea grinned cheekily, "Oh really? I seem to recall a certain someone chasing her sister 'round the living room trying to straight up murder her dead not hardly more than a week ago."

Wow, had that really only been just last week? It felt like eons ago by this point. A soft noise of contempt huffed out through my nose, "Don't exaggerate. I didn't try to murder her."

"How did it go again? ...ah, I believe your exact words to her were, and I quote, 'dip you in liquid nitrogen, snap every frozen limb off your body one by one, and then I'll kill you.' That about sum it up?"

I pursed my lips to the right, "...there were extenuating circumstances."

"Heh," he stared up at the ceiling, "if ya say so."

I lifted my head back up, my arms loosening somewhat around my legs as I considered my next words carefully. "About Saïx… can I ask what happened?" Lea glanced back at me quizzically and I clarified, "I mean with…" I tapped a finger to the bridge of my nose.

"Oh, his scar?" he rolled over onto his side towards me, bracing his head in one hand. "Old battle wound from our time in the foster system. Same shithead who let us two numbskull brats play with a chainsaw. Negligent and abusive. Real winning combo there, huh?"

"You mean a foster parent did that to him? On purpose? That's terrible," I breathed, looking horrified.

"S'okay," he gave a one-shouldered shrug, then smirked wickedly. "I retaliated by burning his house down."

My eyes widened, "Did you really?"

Lea sighed, "Unfortunately, no, but not for lack of trying. Only managed to set a bed ablaze and blacken a few curtains before the fire department showed up."

I stared at him blankly. "I am just... simply amazed that you survived long enough to make it to adulthood. Either of you."

He blew out an amused pft through his teeth. "Yeah, Saïx and I were definitely prime candidates for the Darwin Awards growing up. Told ya, we were lil hellions forged straight from the fiery pits of El Diablo. Hey, speaking of Ol' Bullseye over there..." he trailed off as he suddenly sat himself up.

"Bullseye?" I asked, arching an eyebrow his way while watching him fold his legs beneath himself so he could stand on his knees atop the mattress.

"Ya know. Mr. X-Marks-The-Spot," he tacked on by way of explanation, abruptly shoulder-slamming into the wall behind us just above his pillows and making me jolt.

...the heck?

"...you mean Saïx?" I furrowed my brow, wincing as he followed it up by crashing his elbow against the wall next. "Aren't those nicknames a bit… mean?" My question was punctuated with another loud thump.

Seriously, what on earth…?.

"Nah, he likes it." Whack! "Knows they're terms of endearment." Bang! "Only from me though. Anyone else ever even so much as thought about calling him anything like that, I'd make sure next time they turned up would be in a bodybag." Whump! "'Sides, you should hear half the shit he calls me, especially when he's royally ticked." Thwack! "This one time, he-"

"Wait. Hold it. Stop," I held up my hands, eyes flicking back and forth between him and the wall. "...what exactly is it that you are doing?"

"Huh?" he stilled, blinking at me a couple times. "Oh this?" his shoulder rammed into the surface once more. "This is the wall I share with Saïx's room."

...well okay then, sure, that totally and one hundred percent cleared up my utter confusion and lack of comprehension.

Not.

"Alright," I said, stretching the word out. "And so…?"

"So he's come to expect a certain level of enthusiasm on my part whenever I'm entertaining a lady friend," Lea winked and clicked his tongue before once again striking the wall.

"Oh?" I frowned down at my hands. Then it clicked with another louder, "Oh!" Followed by a slower, more quiet, "Oh…" Cheeks warming now, I looked back over at him, "You mean you… that is, against the wall, you've… oh." A pause while my eyes shifted about in my awkwardness. "But wouldn't the headboard get in the-" I stopped, glancing back over my shoulder and answering my own question. "Oh… oh, I see. No headboard. Got it. How very, er..." I cleared my throat and ducked my head to my knees, muffling into them, "...very practical."

I heard him snerk as the beating the wall was taking continued. "You're funny when you're flustered, ya know that?"

My face cranked up the heat dial even further and I scowled.

If you listened closely, the signs of a very steady, very distinct rhythm to the pounding could be heard beginning to take shape.

...I needed to stop listening so closely.

My eyebrows knit together as I then remembered something. "Wait… didn't Saïx say something about noise canceling headphones?"

"Well yeah, so he's not hearing any of this, but he can still see whenever any of the crap on his shelves or any framed pictures or anything else that might be up against his side o' the wall shakes from the impact," he shrugged, halting to puff out a noisy breath and wipe his forehead with the back of his hand. Apparently, he was working up a sweat. Then he grinned brightly, "This is actually kinda fun! Wanna have a go at it?"

I shot him a flat look. "...I think I'm good, thanks."

"You sure?" Another slam. "It's actually pretty satisfying. One might even say cathartic. Got any pent-up aggression you gotta work out?" And another, this one taking the form of a punch. He immediately regretted that one, eliciting a pained hiss as he shook out his now reddening fingers.

"Yeah, no," I rapidly shook my head, "no pent-up aggression here. Fresh out." Insert weak chuckle at my lame joke that was neither funny nor an actual joke.

"Suit yourself," he laughed, smacking the wall hard with an open palm this time. Then his back snapped straight and his face lit up, "Oh yeah! Before I forget…" he pivoted to his left, reaching into his messenger bag he'd hung up earlier and rooting around in it.

I snorted, "Done already?"

"Just giving that wall a breather," he said, not looking up from his searching. "We've found some other surface to bear the brunt of all our lovemaking for now, but we'll probably be back to this one later."

Oh gosh. Way to go, mouth, you just had to ask, didn't you? Just when my cheeks had begun settling down too.

"Ah! Found it!" he triumphantly pulled something out of the bag. Flopping back down to once more lay flat on the bed beside me, he held it out towards me, "Pour vous, ma petite amie jolie."

I squinted at the booklet in his hand. Or more precisely, a catalog. "Twilight University?" I read the bold lettering as I reached out to take it, staring at the image on the cover of a handful of young adults gathered around in a small circle of desks and looking photogenically excited about education.

"Yup! It's the course listings for next semester at my college. Lookie here," he opened the booklet up, leaving it propped in my hands as he started thumbing through it quickly. "Ah, there!" he stopped on a page, resting his head on my shoulder as he pointed to one of several listings that had been circled here. "They offer a few different introductory drama classes ya might be interested in."

I blinked down at the catalog as vague memories of a conversation I'd had with Lea last time I was here to help him study started coming back to me. "...you remembered?" I asked quietly.

"'Course!" I could feel his cheek pull into a smile against my shoulder. "It seemed important to you, so how could I forget?"

Honestly? I myself had forgotten. But to be fair, I had had a lot on my mind the past couple weeks, what with suddenly having a boyfriend now (pretend or otherwise), trying to figure out how to make a proper show of being a girlfriend, and stressing out over the all too soon to come visit with my parents. Frankly, my life had been turned upside down as of late and had become the very definition of insanity. There had just quite simply been no time to think about childhood fantasies of singing and performing in musicals.

But I guess… right here, right now in Lea's room, I had a bit of a reprieve. I mean, it's not like there was anything exactly pressing at this very moment, nothing that couldn't wait until tomorrow at least. I suppose I had a few seconds I could spare to entertain the thought. It couldn't hurt anything…

"...so where is Twilight University exactly?" I stretched my legs out to lay flat on the mattress, crossing my ankles and resting the open booklet down in my lap. "Is it close to my apartment?"

He hummed low in thought. "Probably a bit too far if you're on foot. But maybe we could carpool there. And hey," he lifted his head to glance over at me, "I still got a free elective course or two that I need to take. I could enroll in the class with ya!"

I felt a grin tugging at one corner of my lips as I looked back down at the catalog, absently trailing my fingers down one of the circled paragraphs. "I think I'd like that…"

"Yeah?" he asked softly and for a second I thought I might have sensed him leaning in a little closer. But it must have just been in my head, for now he was pulling away to flop over onto his back on his side of the bed once again, making a small cough into his fist. "I, uh… talked to my friends too. The ones who run the local community theater. You're in luck! They're between shows at the moment and are actually gonna be holding auditions soon for their next one. Sometime this week, I think. It's a musical too!"

"Really?" I returned my gaze to him, closing the booklet but using a finger to hold the page. A sigh then escaped me as I worried my bottom lip between my teeth, "I don't know… I doubt I'm ready for anything like that."

Lea shook his head with a chuckle, "Ready for what? Just to talk to 'em? It's not like you actually hafta audition or anything. Nah, you can just head down, meet them, get some deets… maybe find out the where and the when so you can go and just watch other people tryout, ya know? Just get a feel for it, if you want."

He made a good point. And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious. I could go and just ask some questions, that's all. Surely, there would be no harm in that. "Maybe…"

"Well if you do decide you wanna drop in for a lil chat with them, their day job is over at Halloween Town in the mall. They should both be on the clock there around noon tomorrow. Ask for Jack or Sally and just tell 'em I sent ya," he jabbed a thumb into his chest with a big grin, "got it memorized?"

"Jack or Sally… okay," I nodded, responding with a small smile of my own. "I might do that. Thanks, Lea."

"Always happy to be of service! Now," he hopped up off the bed and made his way over to one of his shelves that was pure anarchy incarnate, "whaddya think? You up for a movie?"

The corners of my eyes crinkled and I set the catalog aside on the nightstand. "I could be. What are the options?"

He rubbed his chin, scrutinizing the mess crammed into the rack before pulling out a couple DVD cases, one from the top shelf and the other from somewhere in the middle. He held them up in either hand for me, "I'm thinking either Sixteen Candles or The Labyrinth. Thoughts?"

I looked between the two choices. Then my eyes scanned about the room and I frowned. "I'm thinking it's going to be hard to watch either of them without a TV."

"Without a-?" he blinked a couple times, looking over to his right. Then he sighed, "Hang on a sec," as he tossed the movies down onto the foot of the bed and made his way over to another towering pile of clothes against the wall directly across the room from his bed. "Watch and be amazed as I make a flat screen appear outta thin air in three… two…" he whipped the garments aside with a flourish, revealing the television beneath, "Ta-da!"

"Ah," I gave a polite clap and settled more comfortably down into his pillows, "I stand corrected. Though who needs movies when we have your amazing wizardry to keep us entertained?"

He scratched the back of his head, "Heh, it'd be a short magic show. 'Fraid I just got the one trick up my sleeve."

"Too bad." I paused, eyeing the DVD cases. "Make it a double feature?"

He snapped his fingers and snatched them both back up.

"Girl after my own heart. Pure genius."

Author's Note: Ah, yet another classic cliché for the books: our couple encounters one room, one bed for the night xD Also, fun fact: I started out this chapter stumped for what they should be talking about over dinner. Then I asked my bestie, who simply said: "gummi ships." And I just laughed it off at first, all "naw, that wouldn't make sense for this AU." But then it churned in my mind for a few minutes and I was like "wait… no… I think I can make this work…" And thus the Global Union for Multigalactic Mobility Investigation aka GUMMI Space Program aka NASA rip-off was born xD And further thus, Lea being an alien conspiracy-nut JUST for the sake of pissing of his space-loving half-bro was born xP Anyhoo! For those of you who haven't seen Frozen 2 yet (for shame, it's SO good, I demand you go out and watch it THIS INSTANT), Bruni the salamander is from that! He's a fire spirit in the movie with legit fire powers, so I got excited to give the fire boi a fire lizard for a pet! Also, maybe you can start to see the inklings of actual plot starting to sneak back into this story xD Slowly, we'll get back on course, but not before at least one more hijinks-y misadventure takes place… hehehe…

What does the next chapter hold in store for out couple? What new challenges could their budding fake relationship face? Is Elsa really going to pursue any sort of acting class or community theater? Will Lea ever follow his realtor aspirations he seemed so passionate about? Stay tuned!

Thanks for reading, I super duper appreciate it! And an extra BIG thank you to those of you who’ve liked, reblogged, and followed so far, seeing those lil notifications always brings the biggest, goofiest smile to my face!

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

[is0gild]

Ice Cream and Fire Oven Pizza - Chapter 22

Pairing: Elsa x Lea/Axel || Side Pairing: Riku x OC

Summary: Modern AU. She's an introvert ball of nerves who works at Ice Palace, a mall food court ice cream shop. He's the outgoing, sassy goofball who works at the Pizza Planet across the way. Hilarity, snark, and fluffy romcom hijinks ensue.

Word Count: 9,146

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

Credit for super friggin’ cute and super friggin’ amazing cover art goes to the super friggin’ talented ky-jane here on tumblr!

“Alright, Elsa, you can do this! You're going to get up on that stage and you're going to wow them!"

So all that stuff about me not trying out? Total bald-faced lie. Kudos to any of you who saw right through it. Since, you know… I'm so good at the whole deception thing.

"...alright fine, maybe not wow them, per se… but you can do okay at least, right?"

This was all just for fun, after all. It's not like it was anything important, it's not like it really mattered. It was nothing, just a silly childhood dream. Just one moment, one blip in time that would be over before I knew it. No big deal.

"...passable? Surely, you can at least give me passable!"

Now if only I could convince my reflection of that.

Which, judging by the flat look she was giving me from the mirror on my vanity, was not going too hot.

"Ugh!" I huffed, tossing up my hands and turning away to pace my bedroom floor. "Just try not to fall flat on your face and I'll be happy. Can you just do that much for me? Please?" I snapped, facing my reflection once more.

She scrunched up her nose and gave me a noncommittal shrug.

My shoulders slumped and I hung my head, bracing my hands atop the vanity table. "Look, you've been practicing nonstop since yesterday. And yes, I know what basically amounts to cramming sing-alongs for almost twenty-four hours straight isn't going to make up for the lack of any sort of professional training. Or the absence of any real experience. Or the fact that besides karaoke that one night, you pretty much haven't sung in almost a decade except for maybe a personal concert in the shower once in the blue moon. I know you're going into this blind and have no idea what you're doing and others there will be way better prepared than you and-" I frowned, narrowing my eyes, "...and I had a point. Fudge, what was it again?"

My reflection looked remarkably unmoved by my rallying little speech just now.

"Ah!" I snapped my fingers, face brightening before jabbing my index up against the mirror. "The point was that none of that matters! What matters is you've done the best you could do in the time you had! So worrying about it any further is nothing more than a useless waste of time and energy! So just go on out there, have a good time and… and give it your all!" My hands closed into fists and they made weak, halfhearted thrusts into the air over my head as I gave a tiny, "Woo!"

She just drooped her eyelids at me.

I plopped down hard into my chair with a small growl. "I know I suck at pep talks. Yeesh, you don't have to be so negative!"

I don't know why I even bothered. Reflection Me was always such a downer.

Sighing, I propped my chin in my palm while I brought my other hand up to fiddle with the flower poking out of a miniature vase sitting on my vanity. It was the winter honeysuckle Lea had given me, dried out now because I'd wanted it to last. I toyed with its delicate petals, my fingers gentle so as not to break them. Somehow merely touching it seemed to sooth my frayed nerves and lighten my spirits, even if only just a little bit.

My phone buzzed and I checked it to see that it was a text from Lea telling me he'd arrived and was on his way up. I exhaled slowly. Okay, I couldn't procrastinate any longer. It was now or never. I stood up and made my way over to my bed, on top of which laid the sheet music I'd managed to hunt down after some internet searching. Gathering it up with care so as not to wrinkle any of the pages, I then headed towards my bedroom door.

"Who's a pretty, pretty princess? Daddy is! Isn't that right, jelly-belly-welly-bean?"

The dulcet tone of Rayne cooing down at her own tummy was the first sound to greet me when I walked out into the living room. I blinked, taking in the scene before me as Rayne returned her attention to the, er… "pretty, pretty princess." That is to say, her husband, whose lips were set into a grim line while his left eye gave a little tick. She had him seated in one of the kitchen chairs as she stood behind him, putting the finishing touches on the long braid she'd fashioned his hair into. It was complete with teeny butterfly barrettes, a colorful assortment of flowers weaved throughout, and a giant, frilly bow at the end holding it all together.

More practice for styling her future daughter's hair.

I'd know, since normally I'd be the one sitting in that chair instead of Riku.

Thankfully, it was now his turn to suffer hair bedazzling hell.

"Not one word, Fryse," he grumbled. "Not a single, solitary word."

I held the sheet music up to my mouth, concealing a tiny grin behind it. Then carefully schooling my features, I told him, "I was only going to comment on how masculine and rugged you look this evening."

"Damn straight," he harrumphed, crossing his arms and slouching further into his seat.

"I have the bestest, sweetest, manliest hubby in the whole wide world," Rayne declared happily, pulling his head back so she could plant an upside down smooch to his lips. This seemed to mollify him somewhat. Giggling, she then glanced my way. "You all ready for your big debut, pumpkin?"

Rubbing one elbow, I shrugged, "...as ready as I'm going to be, I suppose."

Her lips twisted sourly as she clipped another glitzy butterfly into his hair. "Still wish I was able to go and give you moral support."

"No no, it's fine," I said hastily with a shake of my head and a small, reassuring smile. "Lea's driving me so it's not like I'm stranded in need of a ride or anything. Plus you have your baby appointment to get to and I wouldn't want to make you reschedule for some silly little thing like this. Really, just don't worry about it."

"Besides," Riku tacked on, "friends and family of those trying out aren't usually allowed in to watch the auditions anyway."

Rayne's cheeks gave a little puff of annoyance. "I'd like to see them try and stop me if I showed up."

There was a knock at the door just then. Knowing it was Lea, I moved to open it and found him standing there, one shoulder propped against the doorframe. He grinned down at me, "Hey, El! Ready to go? I-" he stopped as he looked past me, blinking a couple times. Then the curl to his lips grew a touch evil, "Yo, Raindrop, who's your new gal pal? She's hella cute!"

"Cram it before I curb stomp your ass," Riku ground out through his teeth.

"Threaten me with a good time, mamacita," he purred back at him, waggling his eyebrows.

Riku sneered with a tch, grumbling under this breath, "Better pray we don't meet in a dark alley, clown, because I will crush you."

"Oof, I usually like a girl to ask me to dinner first, but I might be willing to make an exception just this once if ya keep sweet talking me like that, gorgeous," Lea winked. As Riku shot up to his feet with a black look, I ran out the door and grabbed Lea's arm. "Oops, looks like duty calls. We'll hafta continue this later, hot stuff. Call me!" he blew Riku a kiss with a snigger as I dragged him away, slamming the door shut behind me.

I started jogging down the steps, listening to Lea's footfall as he followed close behind. Shaking my head with a soft scoff, I said, "Can't believe Mr Guyliner here is making fun of a dude with flowers in his hair."

"Was only doing it cuz I knew how butthurt he'd get over it," he snerked as he appeared at my side. "Now me personally? Don't have a problem with it. I'd rock a thousand posies in my majestic mane and look damn fine doing it too."

I glanced over at him, one corner of my lips tugging up. "I might have to hold you to that."

He flung himself onto the handrail and slid down past me in a blur. Converse hitting the landing below, Lea spun around to block my way just as I caught up to him, smirking as he brought himself nose-to-nose with me. "Only if you're the one weaving all them pretty lil blossoms into my hair."

My heart spasmed.

Down, girl.

After all, it was only the empty teasing he always did.

I turned my head a little, shooting him some side-eye. "...do I get to choose the flowers?"

"I don't see why not."

"Good." I ducked under his arm to slip past him and make my way towards the next flight of stairs, "Leadwort it is then."

"Well now, that sounds ominous." I could hear the frown in his voice. "Should I be worried?"

I shot him a sly grin over my shoulder. "Depends. Very pretty. Very, very itchy. Hope you're ready to suffer for fashion."

"For you?" he beamed, hopping down the steps two at a time now to gain on me once more. "Totally worth it."

I merely rolled my eyes, electing not to dignify his comment with a response.

Soon enough we'd climbed into his car and were hitting the road. Sunset Hill Auditorium wasn't really all that far, but still a bit further than I'd rather walk. Thankfully Lea had been free and only too happy to give me a lift over, seeing as how Riku and Rayne had a prior commitment on the other end of town. Speaking of, they'd probably left immediately right after us and I idly wondered if Riku was planning on showing up at the doctor's with his hairdo still all fab like that. The image brought a little smile to my face.

It quickly faded however as I stared down at the sheet music sitting in my lap. My fingers twisted at my braid as I took in a shaky breath and blew it out slowly. Now that I'd fallen quiet, I could feel that nervous energy creeping its way back into my chest. It was actually kind of sort of a good nervous. I was a bit loathe to admit it, but a small part of me was looking forward to this.

That said, it didn't mean I wasn't also absolutely friggin' terrified.

I was actually a little relieved that friends and family weren't normally allowed into the auditions. The offer of moral support was appreciated, but ultimately I think I would have been more anxious if Riku and Rayne had been able to come and watch. Anna too, for that matter. I know my sister would have dropped everything to be here in a heartbeat, which is why I hadn't even mentioned anything about this to her. Making a fool of myself in front of strangers? Mortifying, but I'd survive - at least if I royally screwed up, I'd never have to see any of them again and could just pretend the whole big mess had never happened. Not so if people I actually cared about were there to witness me flop hard. And it wouldn't matter how kind and supportive they would have been after any sort of epic failure on my part... in fact, that might have only made me feel even worse.

Still, them not coming was only a minor comfort lost in the sea of dread filling up inside me now. My stomach burned with queasiness and my lungs felt like they were shrinking, making it harder and harder to breathe.

"Hmm," Lea's low hum broke me out of my thoughts. I glanced over at him as he pursed his lips to one side before shaking his head, "Mm-mm, nope. Too tangy. You need to be spoiled rotten with the sugary sweetness."

Feeling that cold anxiety loosen its grip and recede somewhat, I furrowed my brow for a few seconds before it clicked. "Ah. You've ruled out another ice cream flavor for me."

"Yup!" he chirped, switching his car over into the next lane.

"So which one got the boot this time?"

"Ever After."

"Huh," I fixed my eyes on the road straight ahead, squinting slightly. "Didn't you rule out a different flavor previously for being too sweet?"

One of his hands came to rest on the shoulder of my car seat. "Well yeah, but having a sweet tooth is one thing, while suicide by pure, massive sugary overdose is something else altogether. I think you know where to draw the line."

I tipped my head to one side. "Interesting."

"Interesting?" he echoed, quirking an eyebrow as he checked his side view mirror. "...am I wrong?"

"Didn't say that," I muttered, my fingers absently fiddling with the corners of the sheet music. "Just said it was interesting."

He frowned. "Crap. That's gonna bug me now."

I flashed him a half-grin. "I know."

"Cruel, cruel woman."

I just crinkled my nose at him smugly.

I knew he was trying to take my mind off the audition. And the distraction was welcome, but unfortunately brief. I could already feel that frown resurfacing, that apprehensive chill knotting tightening in my stomach once more.

Lea shifted his head slightly towards me, watching me out of his peripheral with a small downward tug at the corner of his lips. "...ya know you got absolutely nothing to worry about, right?" he asked softly. My eyes flicked over to him for a second before staring back down at my lap again. He elaborated, "It's community theater."

My eyebrows knit together. "...so?"

"So that means ya got no one to impress. Nothing to prove. No one's gonna be expecting a Julliard education from you or for you to have a few Broadway shows under your belt. This is all just for kicks. An absolutely zero pressure environment. Just a buncha goofballs who like acting and singing and dancing around in wacky costumes and so have found others who share their same brand o' crazy so they can all geek out together doing what they love in their free time. Doesn't matter to any of 'em how good or bad ya might be. They're not there to judge, they just wanna have a good time." He lightly tapped his knuckles to my shoulder, "So loosen up, will ya? You're gonna have a blast and knock 'em dead."

The knots loosened a little and a small grin found its way onto my face despite myself. "Thanks, Lea."

Surprisingly, his words helped.

For a grand total of two minutes.

Which just so happened to be right about when we were parking in front of the auditorium. Imagine that.

"Break a leg! I'll just chill in the car and you can meet me back here when you're done," Lea told me as he rolled down his window and fished his phone out of his pocket.

I barely heard him over the sound of blood rushing in my ears. Swallowing hard and finding my throat too tight for words, I simply gave a stiff nod before climbing out of the car. Hugging the sheet music to my chest, I stepped over the curb and up onto the sidewalk before pausing to stare at the auditorium's double doors, opened wide to invite people in. My bottom lip tucked in and I made a quick glance back towards Lea who grinned and gave me a thumbs up through his window. Then I looked at that doorway once more.

My eyes hardened. My hands gripped the papers more firmly. My chest puffed up and my spine snapped straight.

Let's do this.

I determinedly marched right up to the bottom of the stairs leading up to the entrance.

Then I spun one-eighty and determinedly marched straight back the way I'd come from.

Lea looked up from his phone, both eyebrows shooting up his forehead. "El? Did you forget-"

Whipping back around, I drew in a deep breath before releasing it.

Alright, let's try that again.

I stomped towards the building once more.

This time I actually made it onto the first cement step before retreating.

Expression blank, Lea said nothing as he watched me do this again (making it as far as the second step up) and yet again (third step). By my next attempt, he'd gotten out and was leaning back against his closed car door, arms folded beneath his chest, ankles crossed. Drat, only the third step again. As I returned and came to a stop in front of him, my eyes narrowed and I released a huff through my nose. He just gave me a small shrug, as if to ask what exactly I expected him to do. I whirled on my heel once more, stormed back towards the auditorium and… fudge! Third step again! Now I was just in a friggin' rut!

Beyond frustrated with myself, I walked up beside Lea this time, folded my arms atop the roof of his car, pillowed my face into them and let out a muffled yell. Then I flipped around, bracing my back against the vehicle and scowled up at the sky.

A pause.

Then Lea piped up, "Ya know you actually have to go inside the place in order to audition… right?"

I whacked him upside the head with my sheet music.

"...take that as a yes."

My shoulders sagged and I hid my face behind the papers in my hands, mumbling, "I can't do this. I'm too much of a scaredy-cat."

There was a snort from him. "You kidding? You're one of the bravest people I know."

I scoffed into the printouts, "Stop patronizing me. I don't appreciate it."

"I'm serious." I felt his hands on mine, gently pulling both them and the sheet music down so I could see him standing in front of me now, hunched down to my eye level. "Do you know what the definition of being brave is?"

"Not Elsa, that's for sure," I muttered, looking away.

"Shush," he flicked my forehead. Rude. "Being brave is not a complete and total absence of fear. No, being brave is taking action despite your fear. Remember your wedding day?"

I fixed him with a dull stare. "How could I forget? I ran away. Like a coward."

"No, a coward woulda done nothing. A coward woulda just done as she was told cuz she would be too chicken to make any waves. A coward woulda stayed, gone through with the wedding and led a miserable life she didn't want just to please her folks. Just because it was the safest, easiest route. But you didn't do that."

"No, instead I oh so bravely ran away like a warrior," I corrected my previous statement with a roll of my eyes.

He nodded, "Exactly! You were frightened, had no idea what you were gonna do, didn't have the foggiest of where to go or who to turn to, and yet you still did it. Took that leap and did the whole independent thing and guess what? You've been thriving!" His hands still cradling mine, I felt his thumbs start to trace soothing circles along my knuckles. "And sure, everything's been new and scary… finding a job, meeting new people, not caving to your family's demands… but no matter how afraid you may have got, you never hid from any of it. You've been facing your fears and meeting each new challenge head on. Now I'd call that pretty damn brave."

Wow, his pep talk game was way, way better than mine.

That said, I still eyed him dubiously. "Really?"

"Hell yeah! Shit, if I had to carry around as much fear inside of me as you do, I dunno if I'd be strong enough to do half the things you've done! You're a goddamn hero, babydoll!" he smiled big. "Now, I know this is something ya really want."

My face heated and I averted my gaze. "...how can you tell?"

"Trust me, I can read you pretty well by now," his fingers tweaked my nose. "So listen up: if you can do all that other stuff that terrified you before, if you can just grab hold and take charge of your life the way you have so far, then this one teensy-weensy audition should be a total piece of cake!"

"You really think so?" I frowned uncertainly at him.

"I know so!" he declared with a laugh. "So whaddya say? Think you're ready to do this?"

Though my chest was still tight with anxiety, I could feel that tiny glow of excitement and longing deep, deep down sparking back to life. I slowly smiled and gave a hesitant nod, "...yes, I believe so."

"Then what're you standing round here for? Go on, scoot!"

I didn't budge an inch. After a few seconds, I hung my head. "My feet won't move."

Lea blinked, then chuckled softly. "Do you need me to give ya a tow?"

I grimaced, "Maybe."

"Alright, I can help you inside, but that's as far as I'll be able to take ya. It'll be up to you to get yourself on that stage."

"Just get me through that door," I agreed quietly.

Linking his hand in mine, he turned and led the way towards the auditorium. I stumbled into a walk behind him, drawing what little strength I could from his warm, steady grip. With his help, I finally made it all the way up those daunting stairs and through that foreboding doorway.

Only to be stopped almost immediately once we stepped inside by someone standing in our way.

That someone being a tall, familiar, skinny guy with a spooky yet snappy suit.

"Elsa!" Jack flashed me what I was beginning to suspect was his signature ear-to-ear grin. "You don't know how thrilled I am to see that you could make it! Here to try out or just observe?"

"...try out?" I said, voice small. Yes, it came out just like that. Like it was a question. Like there was a right or wrong answer and I was just guessing, hoping for the best.

"Splendid, Splendid! Glad to hear it! I'll get you added to the director's list and your name will be called when it's your time to shine. For now, you can just take a seat and watch the others. Lea," he turned his gaze on him now, "good to see you too, but you know the rules. Unless you're here to audition, you're going to have to wait outside."

I unconsciously sidled closer to Lea, squeezing his hand.

Huh. Guess I actually wanted him to stick around and watch me make a fool out of myself. Shocked? I know I was.

Maybe it was because he thought I was brave. Maybe if he stayed, I could trick myself into thinking I was brave too.

Lea snuck a glance my way. Eyes crinkling, he squeezed my hand back before returning his attention to Jack with a sheepish grin and ruffled his fingers through his crimson spikes, "Aw c'mon, man, this is her first time! Could ya maybe be a pal, do me a solid and bend the rules a lil just this once?"

Jack crossed his arms, squinting at him with a flat look. Then he sighed and stepped to one side, his smile back and bigger than ever, "Alright, just this one time though! And you better be on your best behavior, bucko!"

"I will! Scout's honor!" he held up three fingers pressed together and beamed. "Thanks, man! Let's go, El." And with that, Lea was pulling me further inside.

The auditorium was larger on the inside than I expected, with rows upon rows of theater seating stretching out before us. While those seats were far from full, there were still more people here than I'd expected there would be, making me gulp. Auditions were already under way it seemed as I watched a familiar guy I recalled seeing in the food court previously - Joshua, I believe? - dip into a flamboyant bow before jumping down off the stage. Remaining up there was an old, clunky piano on wheels with Mullet Boy from the Blue Sitar seated at it.

"Setzer, you're up," came a call from someone sitting in the middle of the third row, presumably the director. All I could tell about him from the back of his head was that he had choppy, shoulder-length pink hair. Slumping lazily into the seat next to him with feet kicked up onto the chair in front of her was that blonde chick from Cinema XIII - I'd recognize that weird hairdo anywhere.

"Ah, looks like Marluxia The Douche-ah is running the show this time round," Lea whispered into my ear with a nod towards Mr Rosy-Locks as we walked down the aisle. "Not gonna be winning Personality Of The Year anytime soon, but I hear he can be a halfway decent director."

He then straightened back up, eyes scanning the people gathered here for a second before his face lit up, "Oo, let's sit with them!" His hands went to my shoulders and he steered me into a sharp turn down one of the rows. Coming to a stop next to two more faces I vaguely recognized, Lea greeted, "Ladies, mind if we join you?"

The two women looked up at us with friendly smiles, the ginger nodding, "Of course! Take a seat!"

We did just that, with the pair of them to my right and Lea to my left. He reached across in front of me to fistbump the closer of the two girls, "Sweet! Redheads of the world unite, booyah!"

I looked over with a timid grin. It was time once again for another one of my little misadventures into the world of small talk! Clearing my throat and tapping my sheep music against my knees to straighten them even though they were in no actual need of straightening, I asked, "It was Tiana and… Ariel, I believe?"

"Mm-hm!" Ariel closed her eyes as her smile grew. "Elsa, right? We haven't officially met yet, but I remember seeing you around at 7th Heaven that one night! You and Lea were amazing at karaoke! Well… really more so you. No offense, Lea," she giggled.

"None taken. I know my gal's got a beautiful pair o' lungs on her," he slung his arm around my shoulders, hugging me close and pressing a kiss into my hair.

Tiana leaned forward to look past Ariel and meet my gaze, "You really do. Do you work with a professional voice coach or anything?"

I blushed, tugging on my braid. "I, uh… no. No, nothing like that."

"Really?" Ariel's lips formed a surprised little 'o'. Then her face brightened once more, "Well, if you're looking for someone, I can put you in touch with mine if you'd like. His name is Sebastian and he's absolutely wonderful. He can be uptight and a bit of a party-pooper, but he gets results!"

Squeezing my braid harder now, I gaped at her slightly. "You actually have a voice coach?"

This was community theatre, as Lea had made a strong point of earlier. People here weren't supposed to have friggin' voice coaches!

"Yup! I'm going to be a famous singer one day and finally leave this sleepy town to tour all over the world, after all, so it's important I do my best right now! I've been practicing ever since I was-"

"Eric to the stage please," Marluxia's voice suddenly echoed throughout the room.

Ariel gasped excitedly and struck a finger up to her lips, shushing Tiana, Lea and me (despite the fact that none of us were talking) before eagerly sitting forward in her chair, practically buzzing with anticipation. That silver-haired Setzer guy - oh gosh, had he come in costume or was that crazy getup just what he normally wore? - swaggered cockily down the stairs to the right of the stage while another dude was coming up the left. The newcomer had short black hair, dimples when he smiled and I suppose what some might call Prince Charming good looks.

Ariel plonked her elbows down onto her knees and propped her chin up in both hands with a delighted sigh. "Isn't he dreamy?"

Tiana wrinkled her nose and muttered to me behind Ariel's head, "She has a bit of a crush."

"You're one to talk," Ariel snorted, elbowing her in the arm. "Naveen's should be up next. Believe me," she smirked towards me, "you haven't seen heart-eyes until you see the ones Tiana has for this guy."

"Shut up, do not!" she laughed, swatting her shoulder.

Brushing her off, Ariel suddenly pointed towards my sheet music. "May I?"

"Oh, uh… s-sure," I handed them over, freeing up both my hands to strangle my braid now. Noticing this, Lea took one of them in his own, shifting it over to the armrest between us and lacing his fingers into mine. The warmth of his palm against the back of my hand brought me some comfort and I felt a little less restless.

Ariel squinted at the papers for a second before grinning, "Oh wow, I love this song! Good choice! Although, if I remember correctly…" she flipped towards the end. "Ah, yup! A second singer does come in. They only have a couple lines though. I can go up with you and fill in for those bits if ya want, the director shouldn't mind!"

"That's really nice… thank you," I smiled, taking the pages back. Sally had said pretty much the same thing when I'd texted her to make sure the song would be okay, but that still had meant I needed to find someone to sing those few extra lines. I hadn't counted on someone finding me instead. Thank goodness for small miracles.

This was one of my most favorite songs too. One from a musical I'd watched over and over again when I was a child, so often that it'd probably driven my parents to the point of insanity. I had just identified so much with the character who sang this number and it still to this day held a very special place in my heart, even after all these years. I knew this song forwards and backwards. Knew it like the back of my hand. I figured if I had any chance of leaving any sort of good impression here today, it would be with this song.

Looking up from the music notes scrawled across the papers, I saw that that Eric person had left. He'd been replaced by a man with a newsie hat on over his wavy, dark brown hair and was singing something jazzy. The way Tiana was reddening while Ariel giggled and whispered to her, I suspected this had to be Naveen. I tried to just sit back, relax and enjoy the show. Tried to banish the anxiety from my thoughts, instead focusing more on Lea's hand now toying with my fingers. On the way he lightly traced up and down their lengths, making them tingle pleasantly. Hoping that little tingle would help keep the nervousness at bay.

But it didn't.

I began to flinch slightly with each new name called, fearing it would be mine. Feeling a little relief when it wasn't, as well as a little annoyance from just wanting to get this over and done with already. A flinch for when Olette was called, who was sitting with a boy with black spiky hair held up by a headband. I idly wondered if it was that buddy of hers who hadn't been able to make it to Friday night drinks - Pence, I believe? Another flinch for when Yuna was called, some brunette with mismatched eyes who sang a pop song I was unfamiliar with. Two more flinches for each of her friends when their names were called, a perky blonde with a long ponytail full of small braids and a freaky looking goth chick in a tight, strappy leather outfit. And yet another flinch for when Rhyme was called, a girl whose sweet demeanor was at odds with the little skull on her black cap and the rap number she'd chosen to sing.

I had to keep resisting the urge to glance towards the doors in back. The ones leading to the outside world. To freedom. Not for the first time, I wondered… what if I made a run for it? You know, just straight up booked it? The idea did hold merit and was very tempting. Nay, extremely tempting.

The only drawback? I'd hate myself.

Because as much as I was dreading this, Lea hadn't been wrong. This was something I wanted. Like… really, really wanted. I'd been trying to lie to myself, pretending I didn't really care, downplaying how important it actually was to me. But this was something I'd dreamt about since I was little. Sadly, I had lost that dream somewhere along the way as I had grown older. Had misplaced and forgotten it in favor of pleasing my parents, of fulfilling their wishes and expectations for me and how I led my life. I had carelessly discarded it, giving it up for nothing more than useless childhood fantasy.

But now it had found its way back to me and I'd been given a second chance. And even if it ended up going nowhere and turned out to be nothing more than a deadend, I still had to try. I just knew that this was something that I had to do. That I needed to do. For me. For the sake of my own happiness.

...gah, just why did it have to be so scary though?!

And all these women trying out before me? Were so not helping! They were all so amazing and talented. Each one seemed better than the last. Each one had most likely been practicing for this audition for days, if not weeks. Each one had probably done this at least once before. Everyone knew everyone here and were all friends. Everyone, that is, except for me. How could I, a stranger with no real experience or training and very little preparation, possibly even hope to stand a chance?

Man, making a break for it through that back door was looking better and better by the second.

My fingers clutched the sheet music more tightly, wrinkling and creasing it after I'd tried so hard not to this whole time. I didn't really seem to care anymore. I could feel the blood draining from my face and-

"Yawn, total snoozefest," came a sudden whisper in my ear.

I jerked my head around towards it, blinking owlishly at Lea once, then twice. "...huh?"

"Her," he nodded to the current girl trying out, her long golden hair ending in curls. "That Aurora chick. She's got me just 'bout ready to hibernate over here."

My wide eyes darted back and forth between her and him. Then it happened. A tiny snerk, escaping through my nose before I could stop it. Too late I clasped a hand over my mouth. After a short pause, I lowered it to whisper back, "You don't really mean that. You're just trying to distract me."

He bobbed his shoulders and grinned. "Is it working?"

I looked away now, carefully schooling my expression as I attempted to smooth the crumples out of my sheet music. "...maybe."

Next up was Tiana. "Jeez, talk about frog in your throat," Lea murmured low out of the corner of his mouth. A mutinous little snort burst out of my nose and I tried to shush him. Then it was Ariel's turn. "Love that girl to death but I'm sorry, a warbling seagull sounds better." I bit back a soft pft and pinched his arm. I was trying not to laugh, I really was, but each remark was so ridiculous, so stupid, so obviously not true that it was hard to resist. A Snow White was called next - now that was a stage name if I ever heard one. At least, I hoped it was. She'd gotten about halfway through her audition when I heard a hushed, "Tch, who taught her to sing, a buncha tone-deaf coal miners?"

I spluttered, clamping my hand firmly over his mouth. "Okay, you need to stop now," I hissed out in a poor attempt to hide my amusement.

There was a mischievous gleam in his eyes. Then I felt him licking my fingers.

"Ugh, real mature," I scrunched up my face, snatching my hand back only to wipe it off on his cheek a second later.

"Psh, acting like ya don't like it," he sniggered, cupping the side of my head so he could pull me in and rub his damp cheek to mine.

I squirmed, trying to break free. "Gross! Why? Just… why?"

Grip holding me firmly in place while he still nuzzled our cheeks together, he cooed, "Consider it a good luck charm from me to you! Now you have no choice but to knock their socks off!"

"How old are you, seven?" I grunted, trying to wedge an elbow between us. "You seriously need to gro-"

"Could Elsa please step onto the stage now?"

Both Lea and I froze for a split second. Fudge, I'd all but forgotten where I was and why I was here. Now it all came crashing back to me.

Ka-thunk.

What was that, you might be wondering? Oh nothing really. Just the sound of my heart plummeting to the bottom of my gut.

Before I'd even realized what I was doing, I'd sprung up onto my feet and was walking briskly towards the center aisle with all the grace and dignity I could muster. As if I couldn't still feel Lea's slobber drying on my cheek. Good luck charm, indeed. I'd show him good luck!

...that hadn't come across sounding as threatening as I would have liked.

It took a few seconds for it to really sink in. What I was doing. Where I was going. What I was about to do. I was about to audition… to sing in front of all of these people. I had to remind myself that this was something that I really, truly wanted. It was hard to remember right now in this exact second, but the desire was still there. Way deep, deep down inside of me, there was still that tiny spark valiantly burning away, smothered and small though it may be at the moment.

As each step brought me closer to that stage, I felt it again. That chilly dread pooling in the pit of my stomach. The iciness seemed to spread outward and I slowly grew numb. My mind started to feel detached and far away from the rest of my body, like I was no longer in control of it. Instead, it was more like I was only a passenger as it kept moving me forward seemingly of its own accord now, taking me up those stairs leading to my doom. That's right, my doom. I wasn't being over dramatic here at all. Not one bit.

Conceal, don't feel.

As I started crossing the stage, I was hardly even aware of Ariel out of the corner of my eye, whispering something to Marluxia before he gave a curt nod and she was scrambling up those steps after me. My ankle boots against the hardwood echoed loudly throughout the quiet theater. Too loudly, it felt like. But it paled in comparison to the thundering of my heart - oh gosh, could everyone else hear it too?

Conceal, don't feel.

All too soon, I was reaching the pianist and offering him the (rather abused at this point) sheet music with a shaky hand. He took it, looking it over briefly before setting it down on the music rack and smiling, "Just give me a nod when you're ready."

Ariel popped up then, plonking down onto the bench beside him with a grin. "I'll just sit with Demyx here and jump in for the parts you need me. Don't worry, you'll do great!"

My mouth tightened into a crude approximation of a smile before I turned to face the audience.

Big mistake.

Jeez, were there more people out there now? I could swear there were more people. Somehow, I willed my feet to move me closer to the front and center of the performance area. My fingers were running along my braid nonstop, up and down, up and down. My breathing had become so rapid and shallow. It felt like I wasn't getting enough oxygen into my lungs. Could the air be thinner here on stage? You know, all the way up at this higher altitude of a whopping five feet?

Conceal, don't feel.

My eyes darted from face to unfamiliar face, not sure where to look. At the director maybe? That'd make sense, right? He'd be the one to decide my fate here, after all. I glanced down at Marluxia. At that blonde chick next to him - maybe she was his assistant director? Did community theater even have an assistant director? Well I suppose it would just depend on- focus, Elsa, focus! I squeezed my eyes shut with a grimace before opening them back up, looking to that pair once more. By their expressions, they both already seemed so remarkably unimpressed by me and I hadn't even begun yet. No, staring at them would only rattle me more.

I gripped at my braid more tightly and my gaze shifted about once more, almost desperate now, searching for what, I wasn't quite sure. But at last I seemed to find it - a face I knew. Lea's face. There, suddenly, like a beacon in the crowd. I wasn't quite sure how I'd not seen him until now. When our eyes met, he merely bobbed his head slightly and smiled at me. So small, so simple. And yet it filled me with such warmth and encouragement.

Lea thought I was brave.

And maybe, just for this one moment, I could pretend to be.

I inhaled deeply, my breath a raspy hiss through my nose. Holding it in for a couple seconds, I then puffed it out softly, releasing my braid and letting my hands fall to my sides. Finally, I gave Demyx a stiff nod over my shoulder.

Welp. This was it. No turning back now.

It was probably only a second, maybe two, but it felt like an eternity before that first piano note sounded. When at last it did, I swear it practically gave me a heart attack and my knees almost buckled. But I steadied myself, my clammy hands smoothing the nonexistent wrinkles out of my dress as I let the tune wash over me, trying to find solace in its familiarity. I kept my eyes fixed on Lea. Anywhere else and I knew I would lose my nerve completely. I could hear it coming in the music. My cue to start singing. I sucked in a breath.

"Every inch of me is trembling," oh gosh, that had never been more true than it was in this very moment, "but not from the cold. Something is familiar like a dream I can reach but not quite hold." Was I too quiet? Pretty sure I was too quiet. Licking my dry lips, I pushed my quavering voice to be louder, "I can sense you there like a friend I've always known... I'm arriving and it feels like I am hom-" I choked, my tongue stumbling over the word. My pulse flatlined, my blood turned to ice in my veins, and every atom in me was screaming at me to run, run, run.

But I resisted. I don't know how, but I did. Maybe it was Lea's reassuring gaze still holding mine. Maybe it was that spark deep down inside, flaring up obstinately to fight back against the cold fear closing in around my heart. Whatever it was, I remained rooted to the spot, clenching and unclenching my hands and eyes hard.

"I have always been a fortress," my heart hammered in my ears as I stubbornly pushed on, pretending I hadn't made a mistake, "cold secrets deep inside. You have secrets too, but you don't have to hide." Lea folded his arms atop the back of the chair in front of him, bending forward to rest his chin atop them and looking quite content. Feeling emboldened, I went into the chorus, "Show yourself, I'm dying to meet you. Show yourself, it's your turn." I think my voice was getting stronger. Perhaps it was only wishful thinking. "Are you the one I've been looking for all of my life? Show yourself, I'm ready to learn... Ah-ah, ah-ah!" I rang out the last bit and I heard Ariel's voice echo an answering call behind me.

"I've never felt so certain, all my life I've been torn," some of my tension was beginning to melt away and I took a tiny step forward. "But I'm here for a reason, could it be the reason I was born?" I could feel something bubbling up inside my chest… giddiness, maybe? "I have always been so different, normal rules did not apply. Is this the day? Are you the way I finally find out why?" A smile was beginning to find its way onto my face. I couldn't believe it. A small, but actual, genuine smile of pure joy.

"Show yourself, I'm no longer trembling!" I burst out suddenly, almost triumphantly. Lea was lifting his head back up, face slack, eyes round. I had no idea what that meant. Was it a good reaction? A bad one? Either way, I was spurred on to do better. "Here I am, I've come so far! You are the answer I've waited for all of my life! Oh, show yourself, let me see who you are!" I wasn't even looking at him anymore. I was starting to forget about where I was, just getting lost in the was the only thing that mattered to me anymore in that moment.

I brought my voice back down, singing slowly, sweetly, "Come to me now, open your door, don't make me wait one moment more... Oh, come to me now," I repeated the line with more energy, "open your door, don't make me wait one moment more!"

"Where the north wind meets the sea," Ariel chimed in now and I took the moment to close my eyes, pulling in a big breath and reveling in the delightful tingle in my chest. I was entering the home stretch and there was no fear left. Only excitement. "There's a river full of memory... Come, my darling, homeward bound…"

"I am found!" I sang, putting all I had into it, letting the last word stretch and ring throughout the theater. "Show yourself, step into the power! Grow yourself into something new!"

Ariel came in one last time, "You are the one you've been waiting for…"

"All of my life!" I belted out, finishing the line she'd started. "Oh, show yourself! Ah-ah, ah-ah!" I vocalized the notes a few more times, each round louder and more confident than the last before finally ending the song in one long crescendo.

The auditorium was suddenly very quiet except for my low panting as I tried to catch my breath.

Then I heard it.

The sound of clapping. More specifically, of one single person clapping very enthusiastically, reverberating noisily around the otherwise dead silent room.

Feeling my face erupt in heat, I immediately buried it in my hands. I knew who it was, even before I parted my fingers to peek between them out into the audience. Yup. There he was. Lea, up on his feet to give me a standing ovation while everyone else remained seated, staring at him blankly.

The dork.

Ariel was at my side now, snickering as she muttered behind her hand to me, "This is why they normally don't let the boyfriends in to watch."

He didn't look like he planned on quitting any time soon either.

"Hsst!" I blew through my grit teeth at him discreetly. Well… as discreetly as I could, given I was still standing on a stage in front of a room full of people. "Stop it," I whispered, narrowing my eyes on him. I could see Jack making long, annoyed strides towards Lea. "You hear me? Stop. It."

He seemed to take 'stop it' to mean 'applaud harder and pepper it with a few shrill whistles for good measure.'

I sighed, hanging my head and pressing my fingers between my eyebrows.

"D'aw, I think it's cute," I heard Ariel laugh and I hazarded a glance up again. Lea, finally spotting Jack coming for him, had vaulted himself over some chairs into the next row and was trying to make a run for it. "Your boyfriend is your biggest fan."

"...yes," I rubbed a curled finger over my lips, eyes crinkling as I watched the little scene he was making. Sally had been waiting for him on the other end of the seats opposite of Jack. Realizing his mistake too late, she snagged him by the ear before he could backtrack and started dragging him out of the auditorium. "Yes, I suppose he is."

I still had to sing my second song, the one from Wicked itself. That one ended up being a lot less nerve-wracking. Don't get me wrong, a few jitters yet remained to wriggle about my insides, but I was still riding the endorphin high from getting through my first song, making the second one seem like a breeze in comparison. When I was done, the only acknowledgement I got from Marluxia was an impassive, "Thank you," before he was calling the next person. I hurried off the stage and had a quick word with Jack and Sally before saying my farewell and walking outside.

The sun was beginning to set by now, making the shadows stretch long. It wasn't hard to spot Lea, leaning against his car as he thumbed through his phone and waited.

My heart swelled and my feet suddenly had a mind of their own, propelling me forward.

He glanced up, pocketing his phone and grinning big at me as he used his foot to push himself up off the car. "Hey! You kicked some serious ass up th-" A surprised grunt was forced out of him as I suddenly crashed into his chest, hugging him tightly around the waist.

"...thank you for that," I muffled quietly into his shirt.

Lea was very still for a second. But then I felt a small chuckle rumbling throughout his body as his arms slowly wrapped around my shoulders, returning the embrace. "Nah, that was all you, El. I just provided the wheels that got ya here."

I loosened my grip but didn't fully let go. Just enough so I could lean back slightly to smile up at him. "Thanks for coming with me. I didn't think I'd wanted anyone here, but… it made a difference and meant more to me than I realized it would. And thank you for encouraging me to do this and…" my nose wrinkled a bit, "...and for making me get up on that karaoke stage a couple weeks ago, despite my multiple protests."

He snorted, but his face softened as he brushed some of my hair behind my ear, his thumb just barely grazing along my cheek with the gesture. "What can I say? Being a pushy, overbearing asshole is one of my many wonderful talents."

"That's not what I meant," my eyelids drooped.

"I know," he hummed a laugh as he pulled me in for another hug, squeezing me close as he rested his chin atop my head. We stayed that way for a few seconds more before he released a heavy sigh. Then he pulled back, cupped my face with both his hands, tenderly pressed his lips to my forehead, and...

...blew a goddamn raspberry.

I gasped and shoved him away, furiously scrubbing at my brow with my forearm. "Ugh, was getting more of your slobber on my face completely necessary?!"

"Oh without a doubt! I know what a huge fan of it ya are," he smirked cheekily as he made his way around his car to open the door for me. "Now then, shall we get you home, m'lady, so we can spread the good news?"

I squinted at him with a frown as I followed him over and took a seat. "...what good news?"

"That ya got the starring role, of course!" he chirped down at me.

"I did not-" I was interrupted as he shut the car door in my face. Huffing and buckling myself in, I waited until he was climbing into the driver seat to try again, "They won't even be announcing who's getting what part until next week, but I seriously doubt they're going to give me a lead."

"You're right, my mistake," he stuck his key into the ignition and twisted it, shooting me a wink. "They'll give ya two."

"Goodness, I'm getting two leads now?" I fought the upward tug I felt at one side of my mouth. "Do you even know how plays work?"

"Course! That's why I know for a fact that they're just gonna give you all the parts."

I bit back a grin. "Huh. A one-woman Wicked show. Now that'd certainly be a… choice."

"And one I have every confidence in you to pull off!" he nodded chipperly as we exited the parking lot.

I just shook my head at him. Honestly, I didn't care what part I got. I'd be honored just to be included in the chorus if they even gave me that much. But no, all that I really cared about was that I'd actually done it. Gone through with the audition and lived to tell the tale. And sure, it had scared me out of my mind, but in the end it'd been worth it. Because you know what? Turned out I'd absolutely loved singing on that stage. And I knew for sure now that this was something I wanted to do… something that I wanted to play a part in my life, no matter how big or small. And so what if I most likely wasn't going to get the lead this time around? I could just use this experience to learn the ropes and get better prepared.

Better prepared, that is, to totally crush it at the audition for the next show.

Author's Note: And yet another scene where I included the full lyrics of a song sang by a character - again, it's not something I would normally do, but I felt this was a rare occasion where it's important enough to Elsa's character growth that again I shouldn't just gloss over it. But gosh, I feel so awkward writing detailed singing scenes! Why oh why did I have to make her want to do something with singing? This was a story decision I fast grew to regret, haha xD I hope it turned out okay tho! Anyhoo, for anyone out there who hasn't seen Frozen 2, the song she sings this chapter, Show Yourself, is from that - I suggest you give it a listen if you haven't heard it before :) Actually hearing it does it way more justice than I could ever do in writing xD And I've decided that Disney movies still exist in this AU, they're just musicals now and the characters in those musicals most likely just all have different names than their Disney movie counterparts, but the plot is otherwise unaffected xP Fun fact: The ice cream this chapter, Ever After, is named after Corona's keyblade and I imagine its description on the menu would look something like: "Let down your golden lemon soft serve! A specialty from Corona, this treat is garnished with edible flowers and served in a stack of purple waffles cones to form a tower."

So, did Elsa manage to impress the powers that be at the audition? Will she make the cut and land a part the musical? Will she get a lead, a bit part, or the boot? WAS Lea's slobber actually lucky enough to tip the scales in her favor? Find out… NOT next chapter xD No, we have something else on the horizon for next time… could that fated yet dreaded weekend with the folks finally and at long last be upon us? Stay tuned to find out!

Thanks for reading, I super duper appreciate it! And an extra BIG thank you to those of you who’ve liked, reblogged, and followed so far, seeing those lil notifications always brings the biggest, goofiest smile to my face!

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

[is0gild]

Ice Cream and Fire Oven Pizza - Chapter 21

Pairing: Elsa x Lea/Axel || Side Pairing: Riku x OC

Summary: Modern AU. She's an introvert ball of nerves who works at Ice Palace, a mall food court ice cream shop. He's the outgoing, sassy goofball who works at the Pizza Planet across the way. Hilarity, snark, and fluffy romcom hijinks ensue.

Word Count: 11,394

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

Credit for super friggin’ cute and super friggin’ amazing cover art goes to the super friggin’ talented ky-jane here on tumblr!

Cinnamon.

The scent of it.

That was the first thing I became aware of.

It was so… familiar and spicy and warm. The warmth spread into my cheeks and brought a smile to my lips, small and unbidden. Sunlight against my closed eyelids was the second thing I became aware of as it melted away the last dregs of sleepiness from my mind. I'd been dreaming. I wondered what about… must have been something good. I quietly yawned and stretched where I lay flat on my back before, slowly by surely, I opened my eyes.

Then I froze and my heart gave a violent jolt.

That wasn't my ceiling.

This wasn't my bed.

That-

That wasn't my arm draped across my stomach with its hand resting on my hip.

I mean, not unless it had gained some serious muscle mass from pumping the soft serve/milkshake machine at work. And even then, those muscles would have had to of been on some sort of weird time delay for them to just so suddenly and quite literally pop into existence overnight while I'd been asleep. Now granted, I don't know a lot about the way human anatomy works, particularly when it comes to muscles. That said, I think it was a safe bet to say that none of it worked that way.

Oh gosh, and I was just now becoming aware of a second unidentified arm. This one beneath the small of my back. I had to wonder how it'd gotten under me without waking me up. Or maybe… maybe it hadn't so much as gotten under me as I had rolled on top of it? Gah, who knew? And honestly, who really cared? The point wasn't how it got there but just the fact that it was there!

Confusion and panic levels skyrocketing, I tore my eyes away from the mystery arms, resting my head back into the mystery pillow to stare back up at the mystery ceiling. Then I craned my neck to the left to take in the mystery room with all the mystery clothing tossed about everywhere. Then I craned it to the right to-

-to come face to quite literal face with… well, a face.

My hand shot up to clamp over my mouth, silencing the startled gasp trying to escape. Heart slamming against my ribcage now, my wide eyes looked at the face. And I mean, really looked at it now that I was over the initial jumpscare. And I realized…

It was Lea's face.

More precisely, Lea's sleeping face.

Fingers still clutched over my lips, my rapid breathing through my nose gradually began to try and normalize as last night slowly started coming back to me. The dinner with Saïx. My nervous babbling that had led to the impromptu sleepover in Lea's room. The lizard - no, not lizard, salamander - named Bruni. Sitting in Lea's bed with him while we watched movies together. Though it hadn't so much as been watching as more so talking over them. And laughing. Oh yeah, there had been a lot of that, oddly enough. Well, odd for me, anyway. I remembered making it all the way through the first movie and starting the second one, but I couldn't remember finishing it. I guess I must have dozed off somewhere in the middle of it.

Lea too, it seemed. He was now curled up on his side next to me. Both of us were still on top of the comforter and if you hadn't guessed already, those were in fact his arms across my stomach and under my back. Though they certainly hadn't been there before I'd nodded off. Neither had been that leg of his that was currently slung across both mine, which was a thing that was just now coming to my attention. There must have been a remarkable amount of shifting around in our sleep on both our parts last night.

Well, well, Slumbering Lea… we meet again. We really have to stop bumping into each other like this.

But now the real question was… what to do?

Extract myself and make a hasty retreat without waking him, of course! I'd done it once before and, by gum, I could do it again! Sure, last time had been a little easier, since we'd just been sitting on a couch and the whole situation had been a little less… tangled. But so what if this time around was a little more challenging? I like a challenge!

I drew in a long breath, held it for a few seconds, then released it as soundlessly as possible. Okay, let's do this! First order of business? The top arm. Should be simple enough, right? Next would be the leg, which might be a bit trickier, but I'd cross that bridge when I got to it. Debating the best strategy for dealing with the arm for a few seconds, I at last settled on gripping one of his fingers between my index and thumb and gingerly, oh so very gingerly picking it up.

Easy does it now. No rush. Remember, slow and steady wins the race!

I'd only managed to lift his hand a couple inches however when I heard a low noise in his throat. I stiffened, stopping immediately and turning my head to look over at him, fearing I'd disturbed him from his dreams. But no, he seemed to be making the sound in his sleep. Frowning and furrowing his brow too, no less.

Suddenly, his hand broke free of my grasp and latched back onto my hip before both his arms were pulling me to him, hugging tightly around my waist as I was brought chest-to-chest with him. My cheeks burned red hot and I had to swallow my squeak as he buried his face into the crook of my neck, nuzzling his nose in close and inhaling deeply. Then he sighed and his whole body began to relax once more as he released a soft snore.

...jeez, he really was such a clingy sleeper!

Also, this had just made escaping a whole lot harder. What with him more firmly wrapped around me now, I had no clue how I was going to disentangle myself without waking him up.

His hold on me had at least slackened a bit, if only enough for me to ease back slightly. We were still pretty much nose to nose, but I had managed to regain a few bare inches between our bodies before being stopped by his arms still looped around my middle. Pondering how to overcome this new obstacle, I blew a few stray, frazzled bangs out of my face and looked at him again.

I mean, it's not like I had much else to do at the moment. Not while I was so thoroughly and undeniably stuck.

...gosh, he really was pretty, wasn't he? One might even say painfully so. Even with his guyliner all smudged and smeared like that. Even while he was asleep. Or perhaps, even more so while he was asleep. I don't know… maybe it just seemed that way because I could stare at him so openly without fear of being caught and getting flustered over it.

I wish we were real.

Those words suddenly came drifting back to me once more and I had to wonder...would it really have been so bad? If that's what he'd really said and truly meant it? I mean, one would think I should have been happy to hear those words, what with my silly little crush on him. And actually, I think there had been a tiny part of me that hadbeen happy. But it had gotten swiftly smothered and crushed under sheer, blind, uncontrollable panic. After all, there's a big difference between hoping for something and actually getting it. And just because a tiny wish in your heart might have the possibility of coming true, doesn't mean you're actually ready for it to, or… or prepared to open yourself up and deal with being so… so…

...vulnerable...

Not that it mattered, of course. Because that's not what he'd actually meant. He'd told me so himself. Stated it in no uncertain terms.

But… if say, for the sake of argument, he had actually meant it… what was I so afraid of? Really? Lea would never hurt me… right? No, I don't think he could, even if he tried, even if he wanted to. He was too sweet. He was too caring and gentle. He was-

Oh dear god, he was waking up.

Sucking in a breath, I tensed as I saw him start to shift and stir, as his eyelashes gave a little flutter before cracking ever so slightly open.

I, of course, proceeded to do the only logical and rational thing I could do in such a situation.

I screwed my eyes shut and pretended to be asleep.

Deal with the awkwardness of him knowing I'd been watching him while he slumbered? Uh-uh. Nope. No thank you. But crud, now I was too rigid, my face too scrunched up in my distress. He'd never buy the whole snoozing act, not like this! Come on, Elsa, be more natural! Relax, damn it, relax!

My mouth fell open and my tongue lolled out.

...not that relaxed!

I quickly tucked my tongue back in and cinched my mouth shut, hoping against all hope he hadn't woken up enough to witness that bit of unseemliness. If he had, there was no reaction. None that I could hear anyway. In fact, I wasn't hearing much of anything from him. Nor had his arms so much as even budged one millimeter from my waist. He… had woken up… right? Should I check? No, no, that might give me away. His breathing, at least, no longer sounded like he was asleep. But if that was true, what was he even-

A sudden heavy sigh from him startled me, almost making me jump and blow my cover, but I barely managed to keep it together. Then I felt him removing his hands, taking extra care and caution when easing the one out from underneath me. I dutifully and with great earnest continued to play dead. The bed then shifted and I knew he had stood up. There were a few beats of silence before a soft rustling noise could be heard… the shuffling of clothing, maybe? I wasn't quite sure. Listening to it for a few more seconds, my curiosity got the better of me and I furtively peeked one eye open.

My face erupted into searing, molten heat so fast, you would have mistaken it for the surface of the sun.

For there Lea stood - his back to me in all its leanly muscled glory - in nothing but his boxers.

My eye slammed shut again.

But not before I had a chance to see that said boxers were covered in cute, little cartoon ninjas.

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! Why was he naked?!

Well, not technically naked, since he still had something on over his-

What the actual frick, was I actually arguing semantics with myself right now?!

...I should look again.

What?! No, I absolutely should not!

I should. Purely for reconnaissance reasons, of course, just to keep tabs on what he's doing.

No. No! I'm putting my foot down on this. What if he's even more naked now?

Why on earth would he be more naked?

I don't friggin' know! But did I really want to risk it?!

I'm gonna look.

Don't you dare.

I'm doing it.

Don't-

I looked.

...oh thank goodness, he was more clothed now. I don't think I'd still be breathing if he hadn't been. He'd put on a tanktop and PJ bottoms and was now ruffling his fingers through his hair as he moved over to crouch next to the terrarium, checking in on Bruni. Curling his finger up and down at the little guy, he then stood to his full height and started to turn in my direction. I squeezed my eyes shut once more. There was a pause before I heard some movement, followed by the sound of the door leading out into the living room opening and then closing as quietly as possible.

A breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding all but exploded out of me as I flopped over onto my back once more. I just concentrated on the messy collage of posters up on the ceiling, waiting for my frantic pulse to settle down and desperately trying to block out any attempts made by my stupid brain to bring up images of a certain redhead down to almost nothing but his birthday suit.

After a minute, I began to hear what sounded like the muffled clang of pots and pans beyond that door he'd disappeared through, most likely coming from the kitchen. Lea was making breakfast. For himself and Saïx. For me too, I suppose, come to think of it.

That's when it clicked. Why he had undressed and changed. We were going to be seen this morning by his roommate and he hadn't wanted to look like he'd slept in his clothes. Not after what had supposedly been a, er, ahem… wild night of passion with his girlfriend. That had actually been some good thinking on Lea's part.

I laid there for a few minutes more, seeing as how there wasn't exactly any rush for me to be up yet. I took the time I needed to make sure I had fully composed myself and was ready to face this day and whatever new challenges it may hold. Or at the very least, whatever new challenges breakfast may hold. Finally, I felt ready enough to sit myself up and get off the bed. I started crossing the room towards the door but only got half way before I heard it.

Voices beyond the door. Two of them. One obviously Lea. The other? Going to go with the obvious choice here and say Saïx.

I immediately froze mid step as I recalled last night. Recalled the last things I'd said and done in front of him before pulling a vanishing act into Lea's room. Oh gosh, how was I ever going to face him after that? I couldn't. Plain and simple. If I went out there, Saïx would merely take one look at me and I'd just shrivel up and die of humiliation right then and there. But what else could I do? I had to leave Lea's room at some point. It's not like I could just hide in here forever!

...hey, now there was an idea. I could just hide in here forever.

Damn it, Elsa, no! Stop being so ridiculous! You're going to woman up and march your little hiney straight out there! Saïx was a nice guy. He wasn't cruel. He probably wouldn't even bring it up, just pretend like it'd never happened. If he could be an adult about it and have some tact, then so could I!

My nostrils flared in determination and I gave my cheeks a couple light slaps before nodding firmly, making my way towards the door again. I reached it. My hand was going for the doorknob. My fingers were closing around it. I was about to turn it. Honestly, I really, truly was! But then I stopped again. This time however, it had nothing to do with Saïx or my anxiety.

No, this time what brought me up short was my reflection staring back at me in the long mirror hanging on the back of the door. More specifically, at what I was wearing. At my penguin-printed stockings, wrinkled now from what was most likely some tossing and turning last night. At my dress, rumpled and creased and looking quite clearly slept in.

Shoot, if Lea had taken care to not make it obvious that actual zilch had happened in his bed last night, I should make the same effort, shouldn't I? But unlike him, I didn't have half my wardrobe just scattered about the room for me to change into. Fudge, what was I even supposed to look like after spending the night with a boyfriend? I had no clue! No personal experience to draw from.

Think, think… okay, how did girls look and dress the morning after in movies and TV shows?

I pursed my lips to one side, turning around so my eyes could scan the bedroom. Then I took a step forward, shifting some of the discarded clothes on the carpet about with my foot. I bent down to pick one up, saw it was pants and shook my head, tossing it aside. Another step, some more sifting. Ah! There! My fingers closed around some fabric and I pulled it free of the others before straightening back up, taking it in both hands and spreading it out to reveal a shirt. A tee-shirt, to be more precise, one that was black and bore a faded, cracked symbol that kind of looked like a wide, fancy, angular V. Beneath it was a washed out image of some sort of red, mechanical-looking lion.

I frowned at the top.

Oh gosh, was I really going to go through with this?

...the answer was yes. Yes, I was.

Locking the bedroom door, I quickly shimmied out of my stockings and tossed them onto the bed. Next went my dress, joining the tights on the mattress. Then I pulled the shirt on over my head, doing my best to ignore his boy scent clinging to it as I shoved my arms through the sleeves and tugged the hem as far down as it would go, which turned out to be about mid-thigh. It fit surprisingly well. Maybe that shouldn't have come as such a surprise - the boy did have a tendency to wear his shirts rather tight.

...not that I noticed such things.

I turned to face my reflection once more, giving myself a quick once over. Yes, I think this would do quite nicely. But then my eyes settled on my braid in the mirror, messy and a bit tangled. Clearly, that wouldn't do. I pulled it free, quickly unraveling it before combing my fingers through my hair a few times and ruffling it about a bit. There. That looked more appropriately bed-tousled now.

Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Bruni out and about in his enclosure, eyeing me from atop one of his rocks. I grinned and asked him softly, "How do I look?"

He licked his eyeball.

I snorted, muttering, "One of these days I'm going to have to figure out what that means. For now, I'll just take it as a compliment." I then looked back down at the doorknob. My hand started reaching for it, but hesitated midway. My fingers clenched into a ball. Then unclenched. I took a tiny, trembling breath against the nervous tightening in my chest.

Alright, Elsa, quick mental checklist. Boyfriend shirt? On. Legs? Bare. Hair? Down. Plan of attack? Locked and loaded. You got this. I gave myself a quick shake, hitched my chin, squared my shoulders and opened the door.

Saïx seated at the dining table was the first thing I saw when I silently padded out. His back was to me as he took a sip from a glass of water, his eyes seemingly glued to his laptop screen, free hand tapping away at the keyboard. There was a warm plate of food on the table between it and him, along with a second full dish laid out before the empty seat to his right.

Lea was in the kitchen, fixing another plate together. He didn't look my way immediately for he seemed too focused on his task, but he must have heard me open the door for he called out a chipper, "Mornin', babycakes! Hope you're hungry! I whipped us up some eggs benny and crispy home fr-"

This was the exact second he turned to look at me, eyes going round.

Which, incidentally, was also the same exact second he dropped the plate he was holding.

"Shit!" he jerked back as it shattered against the linoleum, making food spatter everywhere and me wince. He squatted down and started snatching up the broken shards. However his slack-jawed gaze drifted back up towards me, his hands slowing. Then he flinched and dropped all the jagged pieces, hissing out a soft, "Fuck," as he looked back down at his now bleeding finger.

I rushed forward, passing Saïx (who hadn't even so much as looked up, just remained concentrated on his computer) and stretching my hand out towards Lea, "Here, let me help you with-"

He blanched and yelped, "Don't!" Leaping towards me, he slipped on some Hollandaise but managed to catch himself with a desperate grab for the edge of the countertop before finally reaching me, grabbing my arms and stopping me in my tracks right at the threshold of the kitchen. Then, with face full of stern intensity and utmost seriousness, he told me, "Foot slice, you will!"

I stared blankly back at him.

"Open!" he frantically tacked after a beat.

Oh. Well then, okay, when you put it that way, now it made total sense.

Except for, ya know… not. Not one bit.

He cleared his throat and tried again, "You'll slice your foot open! So don't go in there. Don't even worry about it, 'kay? I'll take care of it." I gave a slow nod and he puffed out a relieved breath. Then he made a pained tch through his teeth, releasing me to stick his still bloody fingertip into his mouth before taking it back out to shoot a tiny scowl at the cut.

Okay, so there had been a minor hiccup. But one shattered plate changed nothing. My plan of attack was still a go.

Ignoring the heat I felt creeping up the back of my neck now, my face hardened with resolve as I told him, "Good morning." Then while he was still distracted by giving his finger the evil eye, I stretched up onto my tiptoes and planted a kiss firmly to his cheek.

That was it. That was my whole plan.

Saïx better be getting a good eyeful, seeing how this bit of theater (complete with costume) was being put on purely for his benefit.

Lea's spine snapped rigid as he locked a wide-eyed stare on me. Strange. Why did he suddenly seem so flushed? Dropping my gaze to his injured finger, I stepped closer to him, taking his hand in mine as I asked, "Are you okay? Let me see."

He opened his mouth and words came out. Or at least, I think they were supposed to be words. However, they sounded more like garbled gibberish. I blinked then looked back up at him, knitting my eyebrows together. He abruptly staggered back a step, yanking his hand free of my grasp so he could cough into his fist and thump it against his chest, croaking out, "Fine." Further coughing and chest thumping, then he repeated with more strength, "Fine. I'm, uh… I'm f-fine… Chair!" I jumped in surprise as he suddenly lunged for a seat, the one across the table from Saïx. Pulling it out, he said, "Please. You. Down. Er… here?"

I frowned uncertainly before sitting in it.

I mean, I think that's what he was asking me to do.

As he pushed it in behind me, I said, "You're certainly very, ah… eloquent this morning."

"Sorry," he chuckled weakly. "Better mouth, I'll make." He tensed, one eye ticking before grounding out slowly, "I'll. Talk. Better." Then he shoved the second plate of food that was already on the table - which I assumed had originally been for him - from its spot in front of the empty chair over towards me before he all but bolted back into the kitchen.

...why did he keep talking like Yoda?

Glancing across the table, I noticed that I didn't seem to be the only one confused. Behind his sleek glasses (that I'd just realized he was wearing now that I could fully see his face) Saïx's dull stare was flicking back and forth between me and Lea, one eyebrow quirked.

I heard Lea grunt out a low "Ow" behind me, followed by the tinkle of what I assumed was more of those plate shards. Seemingly losing interest again, Saïx's eyes returned to his laptop as he called out dryly, "Might I suggest the broom and dustpan?"

There was a long pause. Then a sheepish laugh, "Right. Broom. Smart."

The sound of feet scrambling, followed by a thud, then Lea suddenly appeared over next to the small door leading into the pantry. Retrieving said cleaning implements out of it, he slammed it shut once more before our eyes met and he froze. Then with a dopey, lopsided grin, he clicked his tongue and shot me a finger gun, nearly dropping the broom with the action. He fumbled to catch it, winced, then darted back around the corner, disappearing into the kitchen once more.

...he was acting so weird.

Sighing, I took my fork up in hand and started picking at my food, eating a few of the fried potatoes. I could hear Lea sweeping back there, intermixed with what also sounded like him throwing together another plate of food for himself. After a few more minutes, he reappeared at the pantry to shove both items back in, the broom handle popping back out to smack him in the face before he managed to slam the door shut with a tiny growl. Then he looped back around through the kitchen, coming out the other side with his fresh dish in hand and taking a seat between me and Saïx. As his plate clattered unceremoniously onto the table, I noticed his eggs Benedict looked a lot more sloppily thrown together than my own.

He looked at me. Then down at his breakfast. Then back at me, this time with another grin and an oddly hoarse, "Hi."

"...hi?" I smiled back hesitantly.

His lips parted, then clicked shut again. Then parted once more, taking in a breath like he was actually going to say something this time. But nope, false alarm. He hastily looked away and plonked his elbow on the table, propping the front of his chin against his palm, teeth gnawing on the side of his hand as his knee started jiggling up and down. His eyes kept flicking about, one second staring straight ahead, the next at me out of his peripheral. Then back and forth again. And yet again. That redness started creeping into his face once more.

I elected to fixate on my food, cutting into my poached egg and slipping a bite into my mouth. I didn't know what else to do, really. What to say. There was something… heavy in the air, though I didn't know quite what exactly. Whatever it was, it made finding words difficult, even for small talk. If Saïx noticed the odd tension, he gave no outward sign as he continued to type away at the keys. Several minutes ticked by where that tip-tapping from the laptop was all that could be heard.

Suddenly I felt tiny pleasant tingles trailing through my scalp. With a start, I looked up to discover Lea watching me through half-lidded eyes as he gently tucked my pale bangs behind my ear. His fingers went on from there to tangle themselves in my hair and lightly run through the length of it, all the way down to the bottom, eliciting a little shiver from me. Then our eyes met, he blinked, gaze widening and snatching his hand back. His fingers splayed and flexed before curling into a fist that he shoved between his knees as he let out a gruff, "Sorry."

Face hot, I averted my eyes. "What for? You have no reason to be."

He was just doing his part as my rent-a-boyfriend, after all.

"Right. Sorry… about the, uh… the…" he cleared his throat, "...about the first sorry."

And once again, Saïx's typing took over in dominating the table conversation.

I put my fork down to tug at the hem of my borrowed shirt. I should have found a longer one. I hadn't taken into account the fact that it'd ride up a bit while I was sitting. Unfortunately, pulling at it seemed to be doing little good.

Making a small noise in his throat, Lea stared hard up at the ceiling, knee frantically bouncing once more.

"Did you say something?" I asked him as I retrieved my fork.

"What? No. Me? No. Mm-mm," he shook his head rapidly. Then he inhaled sharply through his nose and held it, unblinking eyes staring off into space for a few seconds before releasing the breath noisily. "Actually! Saïx! Brother! Bro! Brometheus! Bromie G-Funk! C-3PBro! My one and bronly! How'd, um… how'd work go last night?"

Saïx's fingers stilled and he glanced towards Lea, frowning at him over the rim of his glasses. "...you already asked me that while you were cooking earlier."

"Oh," he chuckled. "Right." Saïx resumed clacking away. He couldn't have gotten more than a few words written however before Lea spoke up once more, "What was the answer again?"

Twitching, Saïx came to another stop. "It went fine," he enunciated, tone flat and even.

"That's right, I remember now," Lea nodded slowly. "Heh… riveting."

Saïx went back to ignoring him.

With only a few bites left on my dish at this point, I glanced over at Lea's and realized he'd hardly touched his. "You haven't eaten much."

"Huh?" He glanced my way, crimson flooding back into his cheeks. Then down at his breakfast, both eyebrows raised as if he wasn't exactly sure what it was he was looking at now. "I…? Oh! Silly me. Forgot. Must be distracted by all this… lively discourse!" Seizing his fork, he scooped it through some potatoes, brought it up to his mouth and bit down.

Straight into the metal fork handle.

For you see, he'd picked it up the wrong way.

"Been using forks long?" Saïx deadpanned, not looking up from his laptop screen.

Lea's eyelids drooped as he flipped him the bird. And there his knee went again, jounce, jounce, jouncing away at a mile a minute as he tossed the silverware back down onto the table. "You know what? Don't think I'm all that hungry after all."

I tipped my head to one side, squinting at him. What was with him today? First with fumbling things - the plate, the broom - and just his unusual amounts of clumsiness in general. Then of course there'd been his jumbled and incoherent talking. Now the mixup with the fork and he had no appetite? Not to mention he was still really red. Like, super red. It was almost as if he were-

Wait… could it be…? Was he…?

Of course! That must be it! Oh gosh, it was so obvious now! Why hadn't I realized it sooner?

"Are you sick?" I leaned towards him, pressing the backs of my curled fingers to his forehead. He stiffened under my touch, going stock still. I frowned, "You're a little warm. You might have a fever." I trailed my knuckles down to his cheek, checking to see if the temperature was consistent throughout his face.

"Fine!" he snagged my wrist and abruptly stood, knee whacking the underside of the table as he did so, causing all the plates to give a violent rattle. "I'm… I feel fine! Just…" he hastily dropped my wrist, his hand going to drag along the nape of his neck, "...it's just it's... way too hot in this place! Yeah! I'm gonna go open up a window, get some fresh air in here!" He practically blurred into the kitchen, throwing the one just over the sink wide open with a loud bang before rushing back into his seat, nearly toppling it and him over with his momentum.

"Ah, much better, don'tcha think?" he beamed. Then without waiting for an answer, he started shoveling food into his mouth like a man starved - thankfully with the correct end of the fork this time. He only stopped when he realized we were both staring at him. He swallowed his current mouthful and gave a small laugh, "Er… turns out there was a bit of a rumbly in my tumbly after all?"

...if this was him trying to convince us he wasn't suffering from some sort of bug, he was failing. Miserably.

With a drawn-out sigh through his nose, Saïx slowly began to rise from his own chair. As he picked up his own plate, I was a little surprised to see he had already finished every last morsel on it. I hadn't noticed him eating at all. I hadn't even thought his fingers had ever left his keyboard this whole time.

As he walked past us towards the kitchen, I finished the last bite on my plate before standing as well. Lea glanced my way out of the corner of his eye while chewing, so I took the opportunity to smile softly at him and place my hand on his shoulder. The muscle twitch beneath my fingertips and his jaw stilled as I told him quietly, "Thank you. It was delicious."

Then I took my plate and turned to follow Saïx into the kitchen. As I walked, I could feel this tiny itch in the center of my back right between my shoulderblades. I think Lea's gaze was still on me. Shrugging it off, I came to a stop next to Saïx as he ran the faucet over his dish and squirted some soap into a sponge. I got in line to wash my own plate, setting it down on the countertop beside the sink while I waited.

Saïx gave me a quick look and we exchanged smiles. The tiny, awkward smiles of two antisocial shut-ins. Oddly enough, I felt comfortable in our mutual introversion. I hadn't even thought once about the way I'd embarrassed myself last night in front of him. Though, I guess that could just be because I'd been too distracted by Lea's weirdness all morning. Regardless, Saïx and I then settled into a companionable silence as he set to work.

And still that itch along my spine remained.

A breeze drifted in through the window over the sink, brushing along my skin and toying with strands of my hair. I gave a low hum at how nice it felt and I reached back to gather my locks together, sweeping them forward over one shoulder where I idly began to finger-comb them.

The scraping of Lea's chair along the floor was the only warning I had, one that I paid little mind to.

The next I knew, his arms were slipping around my waist to hug me from behind and his lips were pressing a soft, tender kiss to the side of my neck. Shockwaves of icy heat cascaded out from that one small point to ripple throughout the rest of my body.

I was forgetting to do something. I think it was important. Possibly even life sustaining and-

Ah. Breathing. That was it.

Lea lingered for a few seconds more, his breath warming the now hypersensitive skin there and I had to suppress a small quiver. The tip of his nose brushed along my jawline as he then brought his lips up to my ear, whispering silkily, "For appearances." Aka, for Saïx, standing not two feet away from us. Lea planted one more swift peck to my temple before withdrawing his arms and pulling away.

Oh gosh, he'd been right. It was really so very hot in here, wasn't it? Sweltering, in fact. Were there more windows we could open? I think I was on the verge of melting here.

I slowly brought a hand up to cover the spot where it still tingled from his lips, casting a brief glance back over my shoulder. Lea had settled himself against the counter on the opposite side of the kitchen, his fingers drumming along its edge, his head bowed and eyes darting about, landing on anything and everything but me. I looked forward once more, biting down into my lower lip and rubbing the back of my leg with my other foot. The skin under my palm felt like it was searing and I could swear he'd left a scorch mark there. I didn't know what to do with this. How to react. I mean, it was okay… right? I had given him permission after all to kiss any bare skin with the only thing off limits being directly on the mouth. He'd just never kissed… there before. No one had. I hadn't expected it to be so, er… intimate.

With a start, I realized Saïx was studying me, expression unreadable. To be fair, that's how his face usually was. Still, I suddenly felt self-conscious and I had to resist the urge to fidget under his scrutiny. He looked away, sticking his dish on the drying rack and reaching for mine, muttering, "I'll take care of it."

I frowned, "But-"

"Wouldn't want another broken plate," he said simply as he put it under the flow of steaming water. I furrowed my brow at the statement and he closed his eyes. "You look like you might be catching the same illness Lea has."

Blast it all, I needed to figure out how to get this whole stupid blushing issue of mine under control! It used to not be such a problem. I never used to blush at all, not until Lea waltzed into my life.

The big, dumb, beautiful jerk.

"...thank you," I murmured, referring to my dish with a nod, unable to come up with anything better to say. Perhaps now would just be a good time to escape. I turned to go only to end up stumbling back into the counter, biting back a yelp.

For I hadn't expected Lea to suddenly be standing right there, smack dab in front of me all super close now. His hand was raised, frozen midway to my face. He looked guilty, like a kid who'd been caught reaching into the cookie jar. His wide eyes darted from me to his hand and back again. Then he muttered under his breath, "Welp. This is happening."

I cocked an eyebrow. "Wha-?"

That one syllable was all I got out before he'd suddenly hoisted me up and slung me over his shoulder like a sack of flour. My fingers scrabbled and clutched at the back of his tanktop, trying to find purchase so I could prop myself up.

Just what the heck was he doing now?!

He erupted into booming laughter and slapped Saïx on the shoulder. "Well, my dude, got another hour to kill before my class starts, so I think the lil lady and I are gonna head back to my room for round two!" My head shot up, face roasting. Excuse me? "Or is it round eight? Round nine? Bah, I've lost track since last night!" Well that was certainly a bold claim there, stud. "That's right, a lil more of the ol' forbidden polka, if ya know what I mean." Even that oven mitt over there knew what you meant. Seriously, you can stop now. "Boinking! That's what I mean!" And yet, he was still going. "Ya know, really rattle the ol' headboard! Except, ah, heh… no headboard. But still-" I kneed him in the gut, forcing a grunt out of him. I think he got the hint. "Right! Anyway! I know you're heading to bed now, so we'll try to keep the roughhousing to a minimum! No promises though! Sleep tight, man!"

Thankfully, mercifully, he spun us around then so he could carry me off to his room. That brought me face-to-face with Saïx as Lea jogged off. The man's expression was as indecipherable as ever as he watched us go, but if I had to take a guess, I'd say he looked just about as bewildered as I felt. That was the last thing I saw before Lea crossed the threshold and kicked his door shut behind him.

My back was suddenly hitting the mattress as he dropped me into his bed. I sat up quickly, bracing myself on one hand as I tucked my legs in beside me and yanked down the hem of my shirt. Then I looked up at Lea and my whole body tensed.

He was standing at the foot of the bed, so very still and just… staring at me. His face was a mask, giving nothing away. But his eyes… now those were a different story. They were so intense, so dark and… swirling with something I couldn't quite put a name to. It was sucking all the oxygen out of the room. It made my fingers unconsciously grip at the comforter more tightly. Made my pulse race and the spot on my neck where his lips had been prickle slightly.

Neither of us moved or spoke for several seconds. Several… very long seconds. When I did finally manage to find my voice, it was small and uncertain as I asked, "...Lea?"

He blinked at the sound of his name. Once, twice, then slowly gave his head a small shake, like he was coming out of some sort of trance. He grimaced, bringing one hand up to cover his face but not before I spotted some of that redness creeping back into it. He groaned, dragging his palm down to just over his mouth instead, eyes narrowed on the floor as he grumbled, "Sorry, I'm… I was just… ah, nevermind."

He turned away, dragging his feet towards the bathroom door and stretching one arm over his head as he went. "I'm gonna hop in the shower. I take 'em long, so you should have more than enough time to change, but I'll knock before coming back in justa be on the safe side. Saïx's probably back in his own room already, so you can wait out there if ya want. Or in here. Wherever. Then I can drop ya off any place you want on my way to class, 'kay?"

It took him glancing back my way from beyond the door frame for me to realize he was actually waiting for some sort of reply. "...okay," was the best I could come up with, still in the same tone I'd said his name. He gave a tired-looking smile and a small nod before closing the door. It wasn't until I heard the shower running that all that tension coiling inside of me at last dispersed and my whole body slumped.

Something strange had just happened. I didn't know what. All I knew was I felt relief now that it was over. But also… oddly enough, a bit… disappointed?

Shaking the feeling away, I scooched myself off the bed and quickly changed back into my own clothes, leaving his shirt on the mattress. Then I slipped into my ankle boots, zipping them up before pulling my hair back into a loose ponytail. Not forgetting the Twilight University course catalog, I grabbed it off the nightstand, my fingers fiddling with one of its corners as I glanced about the room.

It was actually feeling a bit claustrophobic in here, so maybe waiting out in the living room would be for the best. Or better yet, out on the sidewalk where I could get some fresh air. Yeah, that sounded like just what I needed right now. Giving Bruni a tiny wave with one finger, I moved to the door and quietly opened it a crack to peek out.

I could make out the dining table, where the only thing left on it was Lea's half eaten breakfast - Saïx had probably felt zero obligation to clean up after his brother. His laptop was gone so it looked like he had indeed retreated to his own bedroom. I quietly slipped out, softly shutting the door behind me before leaning back against it, closing my eyes and heaving a low sigh through my nose.

"You two aren't really dating."

Those five little words made me jolt and nearly topple over, but I steadied myself against the door. My breathing shallow, I glanced to the left to discover Saïx standing in his own doorway, arms crossed and shoulder propped against the frame. His eyes were pinning me with a flat look, his lips settled into an almost imperceptible frown.

I paled, both eyebrows shooting up my forehead as I stammered, "I… We… That is… How did you-"

"Don't worry," he harrumphed, turning his head to one side. "Your secret is safe with my indifference."

...well that was good

At least, I think it was.

I tucked in my bottom lip, eyes shifting about for a few seconds. "...what... gave it away?"

"I wish we were real," he recited Lea's words blandly, the same ones that had been haunting me since last night. So Saïx had overheard that after all. "There were other things after that. Things I might have overlooked otherwise despite the fact that Lea can be painfully transparent sometimes."

My head tilted to the left. "What do you mean?"

He held my gaze for a long moment. Then his eyes closed and he gave a soft, almost amused hmph. "That would be telling. Regardless, it'd probably be for the best if you kept him away from alcohol for the remainder of your little charade, however long that may be." He turned his back to me, reaching for his door but then stopped. "And please… try to be careful with my brother. I'd rather not see him get hurt."

"...hurt?" I blinked. "What-"

But he simply closed his door, leaving me to wonder at his cryptic words.

"Actually, could you please drop me off at the mall instead?"

Lea glanced my way, tipping his head forward so he could look at me over his aviators. Then he smirked, pushing the sunglasses back up with his middle finger as his eyes returned to the road and he flicked off his turn signal. "Good for you," he said as we sped past my apartment complex.

I shrugged, twisting a tendril of my ponytail between my fingers. "I'm just going to talk to them. It's no big deal."

"Sure that's all it is," he nodded solemnly, still grinning. He was back to his usual self again. Not a trace left of that weirdness from earlier this morning. Guess that shower he took really did the trick. "You're gonna love Sally and Jack. They're quite the characters… bit oddball, but some of the nicest, friendliest people you'll ever meet. And I'm calling it now: they're gonna adore you. I wouldn't be surprised if they offered you the lead in their musical after only talking to ya for five minutes."

Snorting, I rolled my eyes, "That's not how it works."

"You're right. I'm selling you short." Out popped that dimpled of his, "Make that three minutes."

"Shush," I shoved his shoulder and he chuckled as he turned the car into the Dusk Town Center parking lot.

"Alright, alright, I'll shush up about it," he mimed zipping his lips. "You know where Halloween Town is in there, right? Remember how to get to Blitzball Sports from the food court? It's not too far past that, just keep an eye out for the swirling dark vortex of spook and nightmare, ya can't miss it."

"Sounds like I'm in for a treat," I gave a small smile.

"Something like that," he snerked as he pulled up to the curb in front of the mall entrance, the flow of shoppers coming and going around us thick at the moment. Lea reached across me to open my car door and I was mildly irked at the tiny flutter my heart gave in response to his sudden nearness. He didn't pull back right away, instead raising his sunglasses to sit atop his hair as he looked over at me, his eyes crinkling. Then his hand cupped the back of my head, pulling me close so he could plant a light kiss to my forehead. "Have fun, meu chuchuzinho," he beamed, his fingers mussing up my bangs.

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Portuguese," he chirped, answering my unvoiced question, "for my lil squash!"

Not even gracing that with a reply, I just heaved a sigh, unbuckled my seatbelt, smoothed my hair and got out of the car.

He called out after me, "We'll say that one's a maybe! And oh! Almost forgot. If you run into Vanibutt at Halloween Town, don't take anything that lil punkass says too seriously. He's like that 'round all girls. My guess? His mom didn't give him enough hugs as a kid. Just call him Beetlejuice, got it? He likes it."

My eyelids drooped. "Somehow I highly doubt that," I said, closing the car door before he could make any further wisecracks.

He just winked and made heart hands at me through the window before driving away. I shook my head as I watched him go, face warming as my fingertips brushed over my forehead at the same spot where his lips had just been.

I hadn't mentioned anything to him about what Saïx had said to me. About the fact that he'd figured out our little secret. Somehow, I'd got the impression from Saïx that our little talk was supposed to stay just between us. I guess it really wouldn't have made a difference if Lea knew one way or another. Still, it felt weird not telling him. Maybe Saïx would tell Lea himself in his own time. Puffing out a breath, I waited until I could no longer see his car before I turned and passed through those double doors leading into the food court.

It didn't take me long to find my way back to Blitzball Sports. Business was slow in there at the moment and I could see inside where two employees were bouncing a ball back and forth between them. They honestly looked like a couple of beach bums, the shorter one with shaggy, sandy hair and the other with a 'do done up into a large, orange coif. Next door at the Glass Slipper, I could see the shoe clerk there - a blonde girl in her teens - being run ragged by a particularly nasty looking customer and her two bratty daughters. Ah, the joys and glamor of customer service. Silently sending my sympathy to the poor salesperson, I pushed onward.

Hm, let's see here… Hair, Here, Everywhere? No, that was a hair and beauty salon. Looking past the Flower Gleam And Glow poster on the window boasting a new anti-aging cream, I spotted one of the stylists - an energetic young woman whose employment in a barber shop seemed rather ironic. Her long flaxen hair down to her ankles had probably never known the firm snip of a pair of scissors.

Next to that, we had… what did that old, broken, retro sign even say? Space Paranoids? Yeesh, it was certainly gaudy with all those light-up neon tubes decorating its walls, wasn't it? Oh gosh, I think it was a laser tag place. I didn't even know those still existed nowadays.

Then there was the little kiosk in the middle of the walkway, dubbed The Key Graveyard. Some sort of key copy booth, I think. I edged my way around it, giving it a wide berth. The bald, old man working it had creepy eyes that gave me the willies.

Oh, now there was a store name I recognized: The Crayon Box. And what luck, Naminé was even behind the counter there at the moment. She caught my eye with a sweet smile and a wave. I returned it before moving on, looking to my left. Across the way from the little art supply store was…

Ah-ha! Halloween Town! Lea's words hadn't done it justice. The whole store front was decorated with gothic tombstones, synthetic yet sinister jack-o-lanterns, and eerie silhouette cutouts of shadow faces. The doorway was even fashioned with a large wrought iron gate to give one the impression of walking into a decrepit old cemetery.

I hesitated at the entrance, gnawing on my lower lip. It wasn't the ghoulish ambiance that was giving me pause however. Instead it was a familiar, chilling doubt creeping its way up inside my chest.

What was I even doing here? Did I really think I could talk? To strangers? About singing? In a musical, no less? A musical, for crying out loud! Did I not know myself but at all? What was I thinking? If I was struggling to even go inside right now to merely introduce myself to a couple new people, what made me think I could ever possibly stand on a stage to perform in front of a whole auditorium?

...then again… musicals were a little different, weren't they? Musicals had scripts. Scripts made things so much easier. Scripts made it so you knew exactly what to expect. No surprises, no uncertainty, all you had to do was stick to the script. Scripts were comfortable. Life would be so much simpler if it were like a musical, one where I had a script to follow. Musicals were just so… nice. Full of songs and dancing. You'd forget the audience was even there and all you were left with was pure joy. I remembered how they made me feel as a child. Like I finally had somewhere I truly belonged. Being a part of them was the last time I remembered feeling like I had been sincerely, genuinely happy. I… think I might like it… if maybe I could recapture some of that old feeling. Even just a little bit of it.

My hands clenched at my sides and my nostrils flared.

I could do this. I could walk inside, meet these individuals and ask some questions. Just a few measly questions. It didn't even have to go beyond that. I could change my mind at any time if I wanted to. This was nothing. Just one small step, that's all.

With a reassuring nod to myself, I marched inside.

The place looked like the Dark Prince Dracula himself had exploded in here. Just the whole doom and gloom aesthetic covering every inch from floor to ceiling. The store practically overflowed with its goth merch, making the walkways cramped as I tried to navigate through it all, looking for a Jack, a Sally, or someone who could point me to either of them. Unfortunately, I wasn't having any luck beyond running into a handful of shoppers perusing the goods. They gave me blank stares as I passed them. I must have stuck out like a sore thumb here.

Perhaps I was going about this all wrong. Maybe instead of me looking for an employee, I should just stop and let an employee find me. That did tend to be a part of the whole working retail shtick, after all.

As I came to a halt and waited for someone to (hopefully) ask me if I needed help finding anything, I glanced around. I had parked myself in front of one of the stores more, shall we say... unique items for sale. A very large, very regal, very frightful looking high-backed prop chair embellished in plastic skeletons and glowing jack-o-lanterns. I squinted at the little plaque next to it on the black wall, declaring it to be the throne of the Pumpkin King. Jeez, it was expensive too. Who would even pay that much for such a monstrosity?

"You lost, little girl?"

I gasped, jumping at the sudden voice. Wait… I recognized that voice. Had heard it not too long ago. But had it really come from where it sounded like it had? Wrinkling my brow, I looked up.

There, sitting atop the high backrest of the throne with an elbow propped on one knee and chin in his palm, was none other than Vanitas. He smirked down at me from his perch, gold eyes flickering bright in this otherwise dark place. There was something moving, cozying itself up around his shoulders… some sort of critter, I suspected, but it was hard to tell from down here.

Well, I'd been hoping someone who worked here would find me. I guess this was the very definition of be careful what you wish for because you might just get it.

I took a step backwards, fidgeting with my fingers. "Um… Excuse me, but could you help me find-"

"Sorry," he grumbled in a tone that was anything but apologetic as he hopped down to land in front of me, pointing a finger at his now apathetic expression, "but does this look like the face of someone who gives two fucks what you want?"

I grimaced, moving another step back. His gaze was making me anxious and I was unable to hold it, instead opting to shift my eyes over to the creature on his shoulder. Now that it was closer, I could see it was a hairless sphynx cat, black with red eyes. Did its collar say… Flood? What a strange thing to name a pet. I must not have been reading it right. Licking my dry lips, I muttered, "Well, I… suppose I'll just go find someone else th-"

"What was your name again?" Vanitas interrupted me, eyes narrowing as he got in my face now. It seemed he had absolutely zero awareness of personal boundaries. He started to slowly circle me, eyeing me up and down, "...Emma? Ilsa?"

"Elsa," I corrected with a tiny scowl, back stiff as I felt a chill creep up it while he passed behind me. This guy was getting on my nerves. Before I could stop myself, I snapped, "And yours was what? Beetlejuice?"

...can't believe you actually went there, mouth. That was childish. Lea was a bad influence.

"Cute. Bet your boyfriend told you to say that," he snerked, finishing his tiny lap around me and coming to a stop, bringing us face-to-face once more. His cat was making a low growling noise as it watched me and Vanitas brought up his fingers to scratch behind one of its large, jagged ears. "Still, it took balls to actually say it. Looks like you got some bite beneath your chilly exterior, eh Frosty?"

My scowl deepened and I backed up another step, my spine coming into contact with the end of a wide shelf. I hoped he couldn't hear the small tremor in my voice as I shot back, "And looks like you have a bad memory beneath your boorish exterior. I just told you what my name is and it isn't Frosty."

Elsa, Queen of the Death Wish.

Seriously, why was I antagonizing this guy? This was a bad idea. I knew that and yet I couldn't seem to help myself. He was making me antsy. My heartbeat hammered and my hands were clammy. I felt a bit like a cornered animal, lashing out in a futile attempt to keep a larger predator at bay.

His lips curled wolfishly. At least he seemed to find me amusing. Although, I wasn't quite sure if that was really a good thing. "You know, I'm starting to see why Red has his panties all in a twist over you." His cat leapt down to the floor and started weaving itself between my ankles. Doing my best not to trip over it, I tried to sidestep so I could regain some distance and possibly even altogether escape but Vanitas's hand shot out, palm slamming against the shelf behind me, his arm now blocking my path.

"Yeah," he continued, rubbing a curled finger to his chin as his unsettling grin grew toothier, "you got sorta this whole pure, innocent Catholic schoolgirl vibe going on that really makes a guy want to corrupt the fuck outta you. Tell ya what, Frosty," he leaned in closer and my jaw clenched as he clacked his silver tongue stud against his teeth, "if you ever get bored of that loser, gimme a call. I'll show you a real good t-"

"Bad Vani!" Suddenly the boy was getting spritzed in the side of the face with some kind of liquid and he jerked back, stumbling away from me. A young woman stepped forward, glowering at him as she sprayed him a couple more times with the water bottle she was holding. "Stop scaring the customers!"

"God fucking damnit, woman!" he snarled back, angrily scrubbing his sleeve along his damp cheek. "You can't do that to me! I am darkness! I am fear! I am-"

Eyelids drooping, she squirted his face with more water. He spat out a long string of curse words before flipping her off and running away, his cat hissing and scampering after him.

Sighing and shaking her head, she then turned to me with a small smile, "Sorry about him. We keep him around because he's really good with the regulars, but he does seem to take perverse pleasure in spooking any newcomers, or 'fresh meat,'" her fingers bounced in air quotes, "as he likes to call them. He shouldn't bother you again however. In any case, I'm Sally, how can I help you?"

Ah, so this was Sally. Thank goodness she didn't seem anything like her coworker. She was pretty, if somewhat distressingly pale. And that was coming from me, so that was saying something. Why, standing next to her, I practically looked tan. Her long red hair came down to her waist and peeking out from the neckline of her colorful, eccentric patchwork dress was a neck tattoo that looked like a line of crisscross stitches wrapping all the way around.

"Oh, er… hello…" my hands folded over one another against my stomach. Then fell awkwardly to my sides. Then, after some hesitation, I stretched one out for a handshake, "My name is Elsa. I…" my mind drew a total blank and my anxiety spiked. Grasping at straws, I blurted out the first thing I could remember, "Lea sent me."

Wow, that sounded so cloak-and-dagger.

Sally accepted my hand, her smile growing warmer. "Oh, so you're the one he's been talking our ears off about. Pleasure to make your acquaintance." She twisted around slightly, calling back over her shoulder, "Jack? Elsa's here. You remember… Lea's girlfriend?"

A few seconds later a man emerged from between the racks of black leather apparel and spiked accessories. Jeez, he was tall. At least as tall as Lea if not having him beat by a couple inches. The big difference here however was Lea at least had some meat on his bones, where as this guy was more just skin and bones. A walking stick. I'd give him this however, he was quite the dapper dresser in his black suit with a bit of goth flair to it. His short, poofy hair was a stark white and he struck me with a huge, face-splitting grin that would have given Sora a run for his munny.

"Ah yes! The one interested in trying out for our new production! Nice to meet you, nice to meet you!" He grabbed my hand with both of his, giving it a couple shakes that rocked my whole body. "Wow, just look at you! The hair, those eyes, that complexion! You would make an absolutely stunning Glinda!"

Placing gentle fingers on his arm, Sally said, "Slow down, Jack. Remember what Lea said?"

"Right! Sorry, I have a bad habit of getting ahead of myself in my enthusiasm," he laughed, long thin fingers scratching at his cheek. "You've been out of the musical game for a while now, isn't that right?"

Sweeping my ponytail forward to run my hands down it, I nodded. "Yes… yes, it's been a few years. Not since I was a child, in fact, so I'm a bit rusty." My face pinched and I looked down, "Well... more like a lot rusty."

"That's okay!" he brushed off, his hand batting the air. "We welcome everyone, especially beginners! We just love introducing people to the wonderful world of theater! To the magic! The drama!" he boomed the last word, curling his fingers skyward before him theatrically.

"Tone it back a bit, dear," Sally affectionately stroked his cheek before turning her gaze back on me. "Jack's an actor, if you couldn't tell, though he does dabble in directing from time to time too. I'm more behind the scenes. I like to help with the costuming and techie work."

My head tipped to one side, recalling Jack had said something about Glinda. "Is your upcoming show going to be The Wizard of Oz?"

"Wicked, actually," he corrected before bringing his hands together with a clap. "And in fact, we're holding auditions tomorrow starting at 5 PM over at the Sunset Hill Auditorium! You should swing by and try out. It'd be good to get some new blood in there!"

"What?" I blinked, before quickly shaking my head and holding up a hand with a feeble chuckle, "Oh no. No, I don't think so. I was just curious to learn more about your group, but I don't think I'm ready for… well, for anything like that."

"Still, you should absolutely stop in and check us out. You can just observe if you want. May I borrow your phone?" Sally asked. I chewed my bottom lip before digging it out and letting her take it from me. She tapped in something real quick then handed it back. "There. You have the address now and you're welcome to come by, even if it's just to hang out. We're a real open and friendly lot. Just a bunch of overgrown theater kids, really."

"Thanks," I murmured, staring down at the location she'd entered into my phone for a second before pocketing it once more. Then I pursed my lips to one side, averting my gaze to appear more interested than I actually was in the vampire fangs hanging in the display to my right. "...so what exactly would one need to do to prepare for an audition? Just for curiosity's sake," I tacked on the last part quickly, faintly blushing.

It was just an innocent question. Not like I was actually going to do it.

Sally grinned softly. "For singing parts in musicals, we require those trying out to perform two songs. One from the show itself, the other can be anything of the auditionee's choosing. I entered my number into your phone as well in case you had any further questions, so just shoot me a message and I can text back the selection from Wicked that you'll have to pick from. For that, you just have to bring your voice. For your personal preference song however, you'll need to be ready with some sheet music for our pianist to play from."

Seemed simple enough.

…not that I was going to do it, of course. Certainly not. Nope.

"Sally, you almost forgot the most important part," Jack tsked teasingly before ducking his head down to my level and striking up a finger. "You must also be prepared… to have fun!" he declared happily, throwing up a pair of jazz hands.

A crease formed between my eyebrows. "I'll… try to remember that. Thanks." I felt an upward tug at one corner of my lips despite myself.

I thanked them for their time and we said our goodbyes. Luckily, I had no further run-ins with the local wildlife (aka Vanitas) on my way out. As I trekked my way homeward, I felt a bit of a pleasant electricity buzzing in my chest. I think I may have actually been a smidge excited. Of course, it was only over the idea of going and watching other people audition tomorrow. Of living vicariously through them. I surely wasn't going to try out myself. Who me? No, don't be silly, definitely not. And I certainly wasn't currently dusting off my mental playlist of the soundtrack for Wicked, nor already sorting through a few potential songs I might sing as my free choice. No, absolutely not.

Those were the furthest things from my mind.

The.

Absolute.

Furthest.

Author's Note: Lea-dot-exe has encountered a critical error and has crashed xD Gosh it's simply staggering the amount of mental acrobatics Elsa goes through to just simply NOT GET what has him so tongue-tied and flustered. Being really bad at reading social cues has basically become her super power at this point. Well, that and her super human ability to babble under extreme pressure. Also, more plot creeping back in as Elsa potentially begins to pursue the whole community theater angle! I was just happy I got an excuse to write Jack and Sally into this, they're a couple of my faves! Also happy I got an excuse to have someone spritz Vanitas in his punkass edgelord face with a water bottle haha! Fun Fact: These musical tryouts are based on how musical auditions used to be held at my high school. I'm not sure if any other theaters (professional, community, or otherwise) hold tryouts like that, but from what the internet tells me, every theater is different, especially when it comes to community theater, so I figured sure, why not, let's just go with what I know!

Next chapter, will Elsa be ready in time for tryouts? Will she actually go? Will she actually audition?! Who else might be there to try out as well? Is Lea actually onto something, have we been using forks BACKWARDS this whole time? Stay tuned!

Thanks for reading, I super duper appreciate it! And an extra BIG thank you to those of you who’ve liked, reblogged, and followed so far, seeing those lil notifications always brings the biggest, goofiest smile to my face!

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

[is0gild]

Ice Cream and Fire Oven Pizza - Chapter 12

Pairing: Elsa x Lea/Axel || Side Pairing: Riku x OC

Summary: Modern AU. She's an introvert ball of nerves who works at Ice Palace, a mall food court ice cream shop. He's the outgoing, sassy goofball who works at the Pizza Planet across the way. Hilarity, snark, and fluffy romcom hijinks ensue.

Word Count: 10,649

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

Credit for super friggin’ cute and super friggin’ amazing cover art goes to the super friggin’ talented ky-jane here on tumblr!

There was no way.

No. Friggin'. Possible. Way.

Rayne was bonkers. Off her rocker. Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. A couple screws short of a toolbox, a few cards shy of a full deck, and several fries scant of a Happy Meal.

She was just… wrong. She had to be. The very idea was outrageous. Laughable, even. There was just without a doubt and quite simply no way.

No way that Lea had a crush on me, that is.

I mean, come on! All I'd ever done was make a complete bumbling idiot out of myself in front of the guy! I'd kissed him before uttering so much as my very first 'hello' to him, chucked a phone at a wall in front of him for no apparent reason after spouting off nonsensical gibberish, sat on him without even the slightest bit of a heads up or forewarning - which to be fair wasn't really my fault, but still! I could go on and on with this list, but I'd rather not as it was just depressing me at this point.

Had a crush on me? Please, he probably just saw me as a total trainwreck of a human being by now and was merely half curious, half terrified to see what would next be pulled out of the bag of crazy that was me. So no, he absolutely did not have any sort of feelings even remotely resembling… that. Not at all. Not towards me.

...so then why did I now find myself hovering outside the mall, trapped in a heated staring contest with my pale reflection in the glass door as arriving and leaving customers gave me weird looks, the very idea of so much as taking one more single, solitary step over that threshold and into the food court seeming utterly impossible to me?

It'd been a couple days since the now infamous (or so it was in my head, at least) Friday night out. A couple of days which I'd thankfully had off from work, giving me some much needed time to recuperate from all that stressful social activity. By the grace of some benevolent deity up above, not to mention my magnanimous, boundless mercy, Anna still lived. But she hadn't got off without a long, stern, and particularly mind-numbing lecture from me, as well as a promise from her to keep me stocked in a lifetime supply of Triple Chocolate Mallowpuffs by way of recompense. She wasn't completely off the hook yet, but it was a start.

During my downtime, I had given little to no thought to Rayne's musings - aka unhinged ravings of a madwoman. Oh sure, the stray ghost of her words might have flitted across the back of my mind once or twice. But whenever they had, I'd simply banished the silly notion with a soft chuckle and a shake of my head.

Which is why I wasn't quite sure what the big deal was now, out of the blue, here, at the entrance to Dusk Town Center, right before my first shift back since the night at the bar. Why in my brain, her words had cranked up from a barely audible whisper to a full blasting, thundering roar played on loop. Why the idea of facing Lea now just all of a sudden seemed so…

...intimidating.

...ugh, this was stupid.

I was being stupid.

It wasn't like I was some third grader in the schoolyard afraid of catching cooties from a boy. I was an adult, damn it! An adult in the adult world with an adult job leading an adult life! So I could handle any such feelings, or more specifically lack thereof, like a goddamn adult!

He did not have a crush on me.

He did not.

With that, a newfound determination filled me. Eyes hardening, chest puffing up, and shoulders squaring, I grabbed the door handle, yanked it open with more force than necessary and marched into the food court with my head held high.

...followed immediately by flipping a one-eighty, dashing back outside and around a corner to hide, pressing my back against the wall with one hand over my hammering heart.

Well done, champ. A for effort. Did a real bang up job there, eh?

I took a few seconds to regain my composure and fortify my resolve. Then I inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly, straightening up to my full height once more. Alright, take two. Giving myself a firm, reassuring nod, I walked back inside again.

It was there, seated at a food court table roughly halfway between Pizza Planet and Ice Palace, that the reason for my initial retreat could be spotted. Lea was hunched over what looked to be a textbook of some sort, with papers covered in messy scrawl strewn about every inch of the round dining surface. He was gnawing a pencil between his teeth and agitatedly ruffling his hair as flipped to the next page. I don't know why I had given into my knee-jerk reaction to run from him the second I'd seen him. He was so engrossed in whatever he was working on, I highly doubted he'd even noticed me walk in. And I was strongly suspecting he'd probably continue to fail to notice me if I just strolled straight on past him to the Ice Palace to prepare for the start of my shift.

Which is exactly what I was going to do.

Or at least, that'd been the plan anyway.

But something stopped me. A sort of… stubbornness that abruptly flared up within me. I wanted to settle this right here, right now. Prove once and for all without a doubt that Rayne was in fact a total loon and that he definitely did not see me as anything more than just a friend. I still had a few more minutes before I had to clock in, so now was a good a time as any.

Seizing the opportunity before I could overthink things and lose my nerve, I made a detour and headed straight towards where Lea sat. Arriving at his table, I pulled out the chair across from him and sat down heavily, burdened with great purpose.

Alright. Phase One of the Mission Not A Crush complete. On to Phase Two.

Which was…?

Good question. Was actually... still kind of, sort of trying to figure that one out.

Potentially a greeting of some sort would be a good place to start.

As Lea glanced up and became aware of my presence at last, I began, "H-"

He leapt out of his seat and bolted, knocking several loose papers off the table in his wake.

I blinked.

...see? Not a crush.

Not if he was running away in fear at the very sight of me.

As well he should. I was a very fearsome vision to behold, after all. My mere visage redefined the very essence of horror, did it not? Look upon me and tremble, puny mortals, for I-

"Ow! Hey, quit it already!" a voice that sounded suspiciously like Xion's pulled me from my thoughts.

Turning my head towards where it'd come from, sure enough, there Lea was with the girl in tow. Literally. He was dragging Xion over to the table by one of her ears pinched between his fingers. The two of them pulled up to a stop in front of me, Lea scowling as he released her and she stumbled a few steps forward. With a tiny hiss of pain as she rubbed the abused lobe, she glanced back at him. He simply crossed his arms and started tapping his foot, clearly waiting for something.

Xion looked at me now with a guilty frown, folding her hands together just below her waist and bowing her head. "Please forgive me, Elsa, I am so very, very sorry. Sorry for tricking you-"

Lea cleared his throat.

She hastily tacked on, "-and for conspiring with Anna-"

He did it again, louder this time.

"-and, uh… for manhandling you into my car-"

A third time.

"-and…" she pursed her lips to one side, squinting up in thought, "...and for not driving with the comfort and safety of my passengers in mind-"

Once more, with feeling.

"-and for, ah… providing… less than optimal seating arrangements to you throughout the whole experience?" Xion ventured, glancing back at Lea. He rolled his eyes but gave a shrug, which she seemed to take more or less as a sign of his grudging acceptance. Her eyes then fixed on me once more, "I meant no offense, but sincerely apologize if I embarrassed you or made you feel uncomfortable in any way."

...this… I had not been expecting.

I just stared blankly at her for a second. Then I realized she was patiently awaiting my response. "Oh! Um," I gave a tiny awkward laugh, "that's okay. We're fine. Totally good. Don't, uh… don't even worry about it."

Her face immediately lit up with a relieved smile. "Thanks, you're the sweetest!" Then she gave Lea a dull look. "Satisfied? Can I get back to my job now?"

His eyelids drooped, but he sighed and waved her off. She ran past him, blowing a raspberry in his direction as she went. He plopped back down into his chair at the table, pinching the bridge of his nose as he grumbled, "Kids these days, I swear."

"Thanks," I smiled at him, "that was really very thoughtful, but you didn't have to make her do that. It wasn't necessary."

"Somebody's gotta teach the lil twerp good manners and respect," he leaned back in his chair slightly, scratching a spot behind his ear. "Her parents certainly never did."

Humming a soft, noncommittal noise, I then looked down at the clutter littered across the table. "So what are you up to? What is all this?"

"Decided to take my lunch break to try and unravel the enigma that is," he held the textbook up, showing me the cover, "Intro to Calculus. It's being a real pain in the ass though. Honestly, who needs to know all this crap? Evil math genius super villains, that's who! Shit, I'm just looking to run a lil shanty of an ice cream parlor by the sea, not trying to calculate how to blow up the sun or anything," he tossed his pencil down against the open pages of the book.

I rubbed a knuckle along my lips as I felt them tug up at one corner. "Not math's biggest fan, I take it?"

"Not my strong point, no, but usually I can get by. Unfortunately, I caught some kinda bug a couple weeks back and had to miss a few days of lectures. Asked the teach what I missed, but he's a royal asshole. Just brushed me off, telling me to talk to his TA instead."

"And the TA?"

"Mini asshole in the making," he scoffed, snatching up a small stack of sheets from the table to wave about. "Just handed me his photocopied notes for the days I was out sick and told me to figure it out. They're useless though. I can't read his chicken scratch. A big test is coming up on all of this too that's s'posed to be a huge chunk of our grade, so I really need to wrap my head around this junk."

"Maybe I can help. Let me see." I moved closer, shifting over to the seat beside him. My shoulder brushed against his as I leaned in, spotting a piece of paper sticking out from beneath the textbook on which it looked like he'd been trying to (unsuccessfully) work through some of the chapter's exercise problems. "Derivatives, huh?" I murmured, picking it up to take a closer look. Then I pointed to the first equation, "This one is almost right, you just forgot to conjugate the binomial. It's an easy mistake, anyone could've made it."

"I, uh…" he trailed off. I glanced over at him, realization just now smacking me like a ton of bricks at how close our faces were. Boundaries, Elsa, boundaries! Dropping the paper, I quickly pulled away, spine banging firmly against the back of my seat. Clearing his throat, Lea picked up the sheet and glared down at it, "Damn, I thought I did that!" After a couple seconds of scrutiny, he grabbed his pencil and started furiously erasing his work before jotting in new numbers, his knee jiggling restlessly beneath the table. The scratching of the graphite stilled almost immediately however as he looked over at me, quirking an eyebrow. "...weren't you an Art History major?"

Reaching for my ponytail to self-consciously pluck at a tendril, I said, "Well, yeah, but I'm pretty good with numbers too. You're in luck, Calculus was just about where I called it when it came to college math courses. I mean, I took the class a couple years ago, but a lot of it's still pretty fresh in my brain. I'd be happy to work through more of it with you, but..." I frowned up at the giant clock hanging over the food court entrance. "My shift's about to start."

His eyes followed my gaze and he grimaced. "Crap, I need to punch back in myself." He rose to his feet, slamming the book shut and swiftly gathering all his stuff into one big, crumpled heap. His gaze shifted to glance at me out of his peripheral. "...you working tomorrow?"

I stood as well, tipping my head to one side. "No, but then I'm back on the schedule for the next three days after it. Why?"

"Good, I have it off too." Things more or less together now, he picked the sloppy stack up and tucked it under one arm as he slid the pencil behind one ear. "You think maybe you could help me cram for my exam? Say…" he looked away, rubbing the nape of his neck, "...my place around noon tomorrow?"

My eyes widened a fraction. "Oh! Uh… yes. Sure. Of course! I don't already have plans, so I'd be glad to. What are friends for, after all?"

Note the keyword here: friends. Cuz that's what we were. Period.

The huge smile that broke out across his face now all but blinded me. "Thanks, El, you rock! I owe you big time for this! I'll treat you to an absolute mountain of your favorite ice cream, which is…" he paused, narrowing his eyes for a second before snapping his fingers and pointing at me. "...Goofy Parfait? No, too basic… Double Crunch? Nah, that's not it either. Eh, I'll figure it out sooner or later! I'm closing in, I can feel it!" He started jogging backwards towards the Pizza Planet. "Anyway, you can get my address from Raindrop! S-" He bumped into a plastic chair, stumbled for a bit before catching himself as another paper flew loose. "Heh… meant to do that. See ya tomorrow!" He waved then turned and sprinted off to avoid clocking in late.

I raised my hand, my fingers curling in a tentative wave back, "Yeah… tomorrow…"

So that, apparently, was Phase Two of Mission Not A Crush.

Go to his home and prove it there.

Perfect.

What could possibly go wrong?

A lot.

That was the answer you were looking for.

A lot could go wrong.

Starting with-

"Ahhhhh!" Rayne squealed yet again as she turned the steering wheel, making the car take a right down a side road. "I can't believe my baby's going on her first date! It really is true, they grow up so fast!" she gave a mock sniffle as she reached over to pinch my cheek.

My left eye twitched and I swatted her hand away. It was a mistake telling her. But Lea had told me to get his address from her. And of course the second I'd asked, she had insisted on driving me there. Should have seen that one coming a mile away. I sighed, "I've had dates before. It's kind of hard to wind up engaged without going on a few dates first. Not impossible, mind you, but hard. And it's not a date, I'm just helping him study for a test."

"Mmmhmmm, sure," she gave me a knowing smirk, "and I'll bet you get all dolled up in a new dress like this for all your other not-a-dates."

"Please, I bought this secondhand in a thrift shop for ten dollars, I hardly call that getting dolled up," I rolled my eyes before looking down at myself.

As it turns out, yesterday had been payday. Meaning my first check, hallelujah! I think this officially made me a bonafide adult. And seeing as how my wardrobe was limited to my work clothes, a couple of hand-me-downs from Rayne that she no longer wore, and that one outfit I had, er… shall we say "borrowed" during my whirlwind escape on my wedding day, I had felt some clothes shopping had been in order after I got off shift yesterday. But working at an ice cream shop in the local mall doesn't exactly have you rolling in the big bucks, as one might imagine, so I'd quickly discovered that a used clothing store was a dirt poor girl's best friend.

I'll admit that I had lucked out a bit with the sundress I now wore, given that it'd come from the bargain bin and had even miraculously fit like a glove. It was a pastel blue with tiny, faded white polka dots, its gently billowing skirt falling to just below my knees. Triple spaghetti straps held it up at the shoulders and it had a sweetheart neckline with embroidered, white lace trim. It was high waisted, with ribbon weaving up the front of the bodice segment and a loose bow tied at the small of my back. Paired with my usual ankle boots of course, because really, who had the munny for more than one pair of shoes? Not me, that's for sure! But the best part? Stockings. Blessed, blessed stockings! My legs could die happy now.

So was it a new dress? Yes, but that was more so to do with my distinct lack of other options than anything else. And, okay sure, the thought had crossed my mind that this was the first time Lea would be seeing me not in Ice Palace attire, so of course I'd wanted to look at the very least, erm… presentable? Yes, that was the word. Presentable. Was that a crime now? I think not!

"Well I think you look cute enough to eat!" she declared before waggling her eyebrows at me. "I'm sure that's what Lea will be thinking too."

"Oh my god, Rayne!" I huffed, hiding my face in my hands and slouching down into the car seat.

I don't know a lot about having friends, but I wonder if they're exchangeable. Like, if you can return them to Ye Olde Friend Shoppe and get store credit that can go towards the purchase of a new gal pal, one that's not delusional and won't take sadistic pleasure in teasing you mercilessly. Yeah, that'd be super-duper nice right about now.

"We hath arrived!" I heard her gleefully announce, feeling the vehicle come to a full stop.

I peeked out between my fingers to see we were now parked at the curb beside a long, colorful row of what looked to be duplex apartments. As I lowered my hands completely, Rayne suddenly seized my chin and jerked my face towards her, studying me with eyes squinted. My brow furrowed, "...what are you doing?"

"Hold still." My jaw still trapped within her iron grasp, she reached for her bag in the backseat, hand noisily rummaging inside for a few seconds before pulling out a light brown makeup pencil. "I wanna make those adorable freckles of yours hella pop so that boy really goes all weak in the knees."

"Ugh!" I yanked my chin free and snatched the pencil away from her, rolling down my window and chucking it outside the car.

"Hey! Those aren't free, you know!"

"Tack it onto what I owe for rent," I grumbled as I closed the window again.

"Whatever," she huffed before she started taking off her jacket. "Take this, will you? It's chilly out, I don't want you to get cold."

Unbuckling my seatbelt, I gently pushed the proffered garment away, "I'll be fine. The cold never bothered me anyway, you know that."

She shrugged, tossing it into the back. "Suit yourself, but don't come crying to me when you catch your death out there." I reached for the door handle, but stopped as she said, "Hold it, c'mere." Oi, what now? I slowly turned my head to cock an eyebrow at her. She licked the pad of her thumb and wiped it across my cheek, "You got a lil schmutz."

I couldn't get out of the car fast enough, staggering onto the sidewalk and whipping around to slam the door shut behind me, nostrils flaring as I narrowed my eyes down at her.

She lowered the passenger window again, gracing me with a sly grin. "Have fun on your study date, sweetpea!"

"It's not a-" The engine roared and she cackled as she sped off. I stamped my foot and crossed my arms, lips twisting sourly. "...date."

It wasn't! That was in fact what I'd come here to prove, after all. That there was no crush and this was not a date. She'd see. I'd show her. Then we'd see who got the last laugh. Ha!

As I turned to face the line of apartments, I realized I had no clue which one was supposed to be Lea's. Rayne had never given me a unit number, just told me she knew exactly where it was and would take me there. I would hope that this one coated in a dingy cherry paint that she'd dropped me off directly in front of would be it, but with that girl's sanity track record lately, I couldn't be sure that was a totally safe bet. Still, I had to knock on one of these doors, so this one was as good as any to try first.

Running my hands down my dress to smooth out the nonexistent wrinkles and sweeping my braid forward over one shoulder, I puffed out a slow breath and put one foot forward. Then, after a pause, the other. Then the other. Eventually, I was climbing the three steps that led up to the door and coming to a stop in front of it.

Then I hesitated, gnawing on my lower lip.

Smoothed my dress again.

Fidgeted with my braid some more.

...I was running out of ways to stall.

Inhaling and exhaling once more, I brought my fist up to the door, preparing to initiate Phase Two of Not A Crush. And came to an abrupt halt, my knuckles a hairbreadth's away from the wood.

Because now we came to the second thing to go wrong.

That being me realizing I had absolutely zero idea of how to accomplish Phase Two.

In fact, what the heck was I even doing here? I struggled with regular one-on-one social interactions on any given normal day, even when I didn't have an ulterior motive to worry about on the side. How on earth had I fooled myself into believing I could handle it, this, here, now, while juggling a stupidly self imposed secret mission as well? This was a terrible plan! What the actual frick had I been thinking?! Did I know myself but at all?!

...you know what? I'm leaving. This was already too much and I hadn't even gotten past the friggin' front door yet. Sorry to bail, Lea, but you're a smart lad with a good head on your shoulders. I have the utmost faith in your ability to navigate yourself through the trials and tribulations of Calculus all on our own. Peace, I'm out!

Spinning on my heel, I rushed back down the steps and beelined for the sidewalk. The walk home wouldn't be short. And I hadn't been paying attention on the drive over, so I wasn't even sure which way I should go. But psssh, minor detail. I'd just pick a direction and if it was meant to be, I'd find myself on my own doorstep sooner or later, right? Right. Now this was a plan I could get on board with. This, I could-

"El?"

I froze mid-step with a wince, gritting my teeth.

Fudge.

...should I just make a run for it?

Probably not. Pretty sure he was way faster than me with those freakishly long legs of his.

Putting on a shaky smile, I stiffly turned back around to see that front door now open with Lea standing on the threshold, giving me a quizzical look.

And it was just hitting me now as I looked at him that this wasn't only going to be the first time he was seeing me out of work clothes, but the first time I was seeing him out of his too. He was wearing a long, untucked button up that was a deep purple plaid and sleeveless, with a black tee on underneath and a black, loose hoodie vest that hung open over it. His legs were clad in dark, dark red skinny jeans, accompanied by tall black boots on his feet. His hair had been pulled back into a stylishly messy ponytail with a few spiky bangs poking free and of course he was sporting his usual guyliner. Though was it just my imagination or was there a bit of an extra swoosh to those wings at the corner of his eyes today? Probably just my imagination.

He… cleaned up pretty good.

...I mean, not that I pay attention to stuff like that or anything. Ahem, anyway!

"Where ya going?" He moved one step down the small set of cement stairs, grinning slightly. "You know that's the wrong direction, right? Living room's this way."

"...it is?"

First thing to blurt out of my mouth and we're off to a simply superb start here.

"Oh! Y-yes! Of course it is! I… I knew that! But, ah…" I took a teeny step backwards. "...I forgot something at… at home!"

Yeah, my backbone.

"That's it!" I laughed weakly and there was another shift back of my feet. "So I was just going to, you know…" I jerked both thumbs to the right, "go get it! Then… come straight back. Here. To your place, uh... o-of course!"

He frowned, looking down the street before glancing back at me. "You were gonna walk? Isn't that kinda far? Tell ya what, let me go grab my car keys and I can swing you back by your place real quick."

"No!" I threw up my hands, rapidly shaking my head. Drat. Thwarted. "N-no, that's… that's fine. And you know what? It's... not actually all that important. Really! Turns out I, um… I don't need it after all."

Looks like it was just time for me to grow a spine instead.

"Oh. Okay then, if you're sure," he shrugged before heading back up the steps and walking inside, holding the door open wide for me and smiling big. "Come on in. Mi casa es su casa!"

"Th...thanks," I managed to squeak past the anxiety squeezing my throat, making it hard to get words out. Taking a deep breath, I clenched and unclenched my clammy hands before clasping them together in front of me just below my waist. Then I rallied, if only just barely, and got myself up those stairs and inside, hearing him shut the door behind me.

The room I'd stepped into was open and rather spacious. To the right seemed to be the living room, in the middle of which stood a long coffee table, a couple of armchairs, a well-worn plush blue sofa covered in far too many pillows (all of them mismatched) and a large rug checkered in various shades of red. A giant dark wood entertainment center took up one wall with a large flat screen in the middle. The shelves surrounding it were mostly filled with books and DVDs, but there were a few odds and ends to decorate it as well, such as a couple of red frisbees sporting sinister-faced fireball decals in one cubbie, while in another sat a framed chart of what looked to be the lunar cycle.

To my left was a dinette space with its table already buried underneath a textbook and a mound of papers, and further to the left beyond that lay the kitchen. The two rooms were separated by an island counter wedged between a pair of thick square columns, the one furthest forward having a skinny door in it that was currently closed. Behind the dinner table and further back in the apartment was an open arch leading into a small corridor - more of an alcove, really - with two doors on the back wall and two more at either end of the hall.

"So..." I began as I glanced around, fingers already fiddling with the tip of my braid, "this is your casa?"

"Yup! Let me give you the grand tour." He all but bounced into the sitting area, arms dramatically flourishing in his best Vanna White impersonation. "The living room! Top of the line and comes with all the deluxe amenities you could ever dream of, including a couch as ugly as sin and a rug old enough to be your father!"

I snorted into my fist, biting back a tiny grin as I felt some of my tenseness beginning to fade, if only by a smidge. "Fancy."

"You like that? Well then prepare to have your mind blown." He darted over to the left side of the apartment now, presenting it with another theatrical sweep of his hands. "Dining room! And get this, you're never gonna guess… a kitchen!"

"Wow, dining room and kitchen? Amazing, you really do live in the lap of luxury here. My my, how the other half lives."

"I try not to let it go to my head. And check it out," he moved to the column bearing the small, inset door and pushed it open, revealing cramped shelves full of foodstuffs, "comes complete with itty-bitty pantry space!" It really was tiny. Could Lea even fit in there? Leaving the door open a crack, he then moved into the hallway, smacking a hand to the back door on the left. "My room." He pointed to the door at the right end of the hall, "Bathroom." Then the one at the left end, "Closet."

Nodding, I looked to the only remaining door directly to the right of Lea's bedroom. "And that one?"

He shook his head and waggled an index finger, "Oh-ho no, you don't wanna know what horrors lay beyond that door."

I quirked an eyebrow at that, one corner of my lips twitching upward. "Is that where you hide all the bodies then?"

"How'd you know?" He'd said it with such dead seriousness that for a second there, I started to get nervous. Then he snerked and chuckled, folding his arms beneath his chest as he leaned a shoulder against the inside of the archway. "You really are too easy, ya know that? Nah, that's just where I keep my household Saïx."

My head tilted. "...what's a Saïx?"

"Two for one deal, roomie-brother combo."

"You live with your brother? That sounds nice... not a lot of people do that after highschool."

One of his shoulders bobbed in a half-shrug, "Half-brother if ya wanna get technical, but yeah. We grew up in the foster system and had to put up with a lotta crap. Learned fast the best way to survive was for us to stick together. I guess old habits die hard. But I don't see him all that much anymore actually."

"Oh?" I frowned at that. "Why not?"

"I'm a creature of the sun, he's a child of the moon. Total night owl. His job keeps him up all hours and he sleeps all day. Nowadays I really only see him during breakfast which is his dinner and vice versa."

My eyebrows knit together. "What's he do for a living?"

Another bounce of the shoulder. "Hell if I know. He works remotely, so basically just locks himself up in his room all night glued to his laptop. Rox and Xion sometimes do take a late night though and caffeine up before dropping by to drag his ass outta his hidey-hole n' make sure he gets some fresh air every once in a while. The kiddos are convinced he's a vampire at this point, swear up and down that they've even seen him hiss at sunlight. But I know that's just silly. Totally ridiculous." Here he paused with a smirk. "Cuz he's obviously a werewolf."

A smile tugged at my lips. "Obviously?"

"Yup! All the clues are there." He struck up a finger. "Crazy obsessed with the moon." Up went a second one. "Likes his steak so rare, it's still mooing. Classic sign of lycanthropy." A third digit joined the other two. "And here's the real kicker: dogs? Love him."

"Wow," I laughed softly. "Well then, with such irrefutable proof, hard to argue that logic."

"Thank you," Lea bowed his head. Then he pushed himself off the wall and walked over to the dining table, pulling out a chair for me. "On that note, shall we?"

I nodded, taking the offered seat and reaching for one of the pages of notes. "Sounds good. Let's get to it."

"Bueno Volcano?"

I glanced up from the open textbook before me, blinking once at Lea before my eyelids drooped. "No, I do not believe the derivative of F evaluated at X as H approaches zero is… Bueno Volcano."

Another one of our flavors of ice cream, as you might've already guessed.

He was staring at me with a completely straight face while wearing his pencil like a moustache. Removing it with a gentle harrumph, he leaned his chair back onto its hind legs, "C'mon, El, we've been at this for hours now. I need a study break."

I sighed through my nose, inserting a worksheet into the book to save the spot before shutting it. "Fine." I was kind of getting stiff from sitting still for so long. Stretching one arm over my head and arching my back to work some of the kinks out of my muscles, I asked, "So, Bueno Volcano… final answer?"

Lea's seat wobbled precariously and he had to grab the table to keep from falling over. Ruffling his hair with a sheepish laugh, he then visibly mulled for a second before shaking his head, "Nah. Spicy veggie ice cream is just weird. No one's into that junk."

"You'd be surprised," I hummed a chuckle, planting an elbow on a small stack of papers and resting my cheek in my palm. "You're running out of options. You sure you haven't guessed it already?"

"Positive. I'm getting warmer though. It's on the tip of my tongue now, I can practically taste it!"

I raised a brow at him. "So what's it taste like?"

He slapped a hand down to the table with a smile, declaring, "Victory!"

"...I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with that flavor," I deadpanned.

"Bah, don't get cute, you know what I meant," he bopped my forehead with his pencil and I flicked it away. Then he tapped it to his chin as he eyed me thoughtfully. "...so why Art History?"

Um…? Where had that come from? Besides out of left field, that is. "What do you mean?"

He shrugged, twirling the pencil between his fingers now. "Just something I've been curious about… why pick that as your major? Why stick with it until you graduated if you weren't feeling it? Why even start it in the first place?"

"I, uh…" I averted my gaze, hands rushing up to toy with my braid. Answering those questions would involve bringing up my parents. And that was a whole other can of worms that I wasn't sure I was particularly ready to pop open just yet.

"Ooo, I'm sensing another secret." Grinning, he scooched his chair over closer to me now, bumping his knee into mine. "Don't worry, I know information isn't free. So how 'bout another trade? Tit for tat. Quid pro quo. One o' mine for one o' yours. I'll start." Then he was lifting up his shirts.

And I, in turn, was turning beet red and slapping a hand over my eyes.

Jeez, this guy did not know how to keep his top on!

"I've had stitches!"

...oh.

My fingers tentatively parted and I saw that he'd only raised the layers of fabric by a few inches, revealing a jagged scar wrapped around his side just above his right hip, big and gnarly, but also old and long since healed. I was kind of amazed I hadn't noticed it the first time he was shirtless in front of me. Then again, he had been drenched in ice cream at the time which had most likely covered it, and I had been a little preoccupied with spazzing out and using my hat as a makeshift censor bar.

"What happened?" I breathed, lowering my hand.

"Saïx happened." I gaped up at him and he released the hems, letting them fall back into place as he batted a hand, "It was an accident. We were only kids at the time. But turns out a chainsaw? Not a toy."

I spluttered, "A ch-chainsaw?!"

"Pssh, it's no big deal, was only a lil one. It'd have to be for an eight year old to be able to lift it after all," he brushed off with a snerk.

Fixing him with a flat look, I muttered, "You and I have two very different definitions of 'no big deal.'"

"Trust me, it looks a lot worse than it actually was. Poor Saïx though, he thought he'd killed me and the little dweeb couldn't stop bawling his eyes out at the hospital. I think he cried more than I did that day, which is funny cuz I was always the bigger crybaby of the two of us." Lea smiled as he relaxed back into his chair a bit, interlocking his fingers behind his head, "Yeah, we were one screwed up pair o' brats. It's no wonder no family ever wanted to keep us monsters, we were a handful to say the least." Then he nudged my shoe with the toe of his boot, "Alright, your turn now."

I glanced away, pursing my lips to one side. Then I locked my gaze back on his with a tiny smirk. "I've shoplifted."

His eyes widened and his head rocked back a bit as he blinked at me a couple times. Then he was narrowing his gaze, "Okay, one, no fair, you know what info I wanted."

I let my shoulders rise and fall, "You just said a secret for a secret. Never specified I had to answer your earlier question."

The rolling of his eyes was his only retort to that before moving on, "Two... you? Shoplift?" He gave a snort. "Does not compute. What was it even, a stick of gum? Some change from the Take-A-Munny-Leave-A-Munny tray?"

I lifted my chin a hair and inspected my nails, feeling a bit too pleased with myself. He'd thought he'd had me pegged. Well, I'd shown him. There's more to me than meets the eye, bucko. "Some clothes. These shoes," I slightly lifted one of my feet, presenting the left ankle boot. Then I paused for dramatic effect. "...a phonebook."

"A…?" he gave me a blank look for half a second. Then he burst out laughing, throwing up his hands, "Look out, we got ourselves a badass here! Behind that sweet, innocent face lurks the sinister mind a hardened criminal and cunning master thief! Best be careful or she'll come for your sticky notes and wall-hanging calendars next. Pfffft, a phonebook. Why? Just… why?"

Crossing my arms, I gave a derisive sniff. "I had my reasons."

Now he cocked his head to to the left, a sly curl twisting his lips. His interest had been piqued. He looked down, studying my shoes with a low hum. "...those still look kinda new. So your lil foray into the world of the five-finger discount had to of been pretty recent. I'd say… maybe a month ago, two tops."

I stiffened.

Oh no, I'd said too much.

I hastily pulled my feet back under my seat, as if to hide any further evidence he might gleen from them. "Speculate all you want, you're not getting anything else out of me."

"Oh, I see how it is. Tough nut to crack, eh?" His eyes crinkled as he leaned in closer to me, propping his elbows on his knees and tucking one arm behind the other. "Am I gonna have to go all good cop, bad cop on you now?"

...okay, cheeks, what's the deal here? I know you're still on red alert from the false alarm with the shirt earlier, but come on, this was nothing to be stoking the coals over! I cleared my throat, turning my head to one side, "No, it's just… that's a whole other secret, is all."

Lea straightened up in his seat, both eyebrows reaching for his hairline. "You mean you want another one outta me?" He shook his head with a grin, rising to his feet now. "Damn, El, you drive a hard bargain. I need to rack my brain to come up with something else good for ya. I'm gonna grab a soda while I'm at it." He winced as he made his way over to the kitchen, "...and I'm just now realizing I've been a totally crap host this whole time. Did you want anything to drink?"

"Just a water, please?" I asked, soon hearing him clinking cups around followed by the sound of a running faucet. I looked down at my lap, tucking in my lower lip as my fingers tangled into the tuft of my braid. I don't know why I was still thinking about it. I'd successfully sidestepped the question and he'd let me off the hook without me giving any sort of explanation for now. And yet, it still lingered at the back of my brain… prickling, needling, until-

"It's because I was a coward." The words were out before I'd even realized it.

He looked up, blinking at me from across the island counter. "Pardon?"

"...why Art History," I clarified softly, my hands going to my lap now to clench slightly at the fabric of my dress. "Because I was a coward, too afraid to go against my parents' wishes. They… said it would be necessary in order to make me more refined and cultured for my eventual role as… as a wife to any potential future husband I may have had. And I just… It seemed… easier just to go along with what they wanted."

"Woah," I heard him approaching again and watched out of the corner of my eye as a glass of water was set down at the table beside me. He retook his seat, a can of Kupo-Kola now in hand, "Remind me again, what era we living in? Coulda sworn we'd left the Dark Ages behind a few centuries ago." My gaze rose to meet his, a wilted attempt at a smile tugging my lips. He cracked the can open with a satisfying fizz before taking a sip. "So then, what did you want?"

I frowned. "What did I…?"

"Say you'd flipped your folks the bird and done your own thing. What would you have majored in instead? If you'd even major in anything at all. Just… what did you want?"

My brow furrowed as I processed for a few heartbeats. "...I'm not sure, actually. Guess I never really thought about it." Then again, no one had ever really asked before. Not even me to myself.

He huffed out a laugh through his nose. "Sure ya have. Everyone has interests, dreams... and hey, you were a kid once. What did you wanna be when you grew up?"

"I…" Trailing off, I squinted towards the ceiling as if I'd somehow find what I was seeking somewhere up there. Unfortunately, no magical, clear-cut ceiling answers divining the secrets to my soul revealed themselves unto me. Drat.

What were my dreams and interests? Did I ever even have any? How pathetic was it that I had to ask myself that? That said however, my mind did strangely keep circling back around to that conversation I'd had with Rayne a few nights ago. I began slowly, "When I was younger, I… did like taking part in musicals. Nothing huge, mind you, just for school and summer camp, things like that."

"That's still something though!" he nodded, face lighting up as he took another swig before putting the soda down. "And didn't I tell ya you should get into singing?"

Eyelids drooping, I gave a tiny scoff. "It's nothing, just a stupid, childish fantasy. My parents were quick to squash any such silly notions as I grew older, saying no daughter of theirs was going to be a failed singer or two-bit actor who never made it. It's not a job that's suitable for-"

"But whoever said anything about turning it into a job?" he cut me off, tipping his head to one side. "I mean yeah, that's one option, but it could also just be a hobby. You know, for fun. You could take a class or something, just to check it out... they offer drama courses at my university. Oh, and I know a couple people from the local community theater, I could check with them for you! Why not give it a shot?"

I grimaced, one hand shifting to rub my elbow. "I don't know…" Being on a stage again, performing in front of an audience, just... all those people… the mere thought already had me feeling the chill of anxiety clawing its way up into my chest.

"Look, I'll talk to those theatre friends of mine and also get you a catalog for next semester's courses. No pressure, but just so you have the information, ya know, in case you get curious," he smiled.

...I guess it wouldn't hurt... And I had to admit, a teeny part of me was drawn to the idea. However, a much bigger part of me shriveled up in dread and made my stomach churn and knot up. "...thanks, but I don't think that's really-"

The loud, groaning creak of a door opening suddenly pierced the air. Lea paled as his head snapped over to the left towards the hallway, his eyes going round. Then he facepalmed and hissed out through grit teeth, "Fucking hell, not today!"

Puzzled at his reaction, I started to follow his gaze, "What are you-?"

His hand abruptly grabbed mine, immediately drawing my attention back to him as he whispered urgently, "Don't move. Don't even breathe."

What the…?

Despite my rising confusion, I did as I was told. I heard a slow thud, thud, thud of footsteps approaching, felt movement behind me as something brushed passed and kept lumbering along. Was that… Saïx? If so, why then did it feel like we were reenacting a scene from a Jurassic Park movie with him the T-Rex and we the scared humans trying to hide in plain sight by going stock-still? I heard the steady footfall muffle now, presumably by the living room rug which is where it'd sounded like he'd been heading. Lea relaxed a little and I took it as a sign for me to do the same, now tentatively turning in my seat to glance over my shoulder.

Across the room stood a man with his back to us. He was tall, but I think Lea still may have had him beat by an inch or two. Long blue hair fell down well past his shoulder blades, bangs a chaotic mess on top - most likely bedhead if, like Lea suggested, the guy had been sleeping all day. A black tank top hugged his torso with grey camo sweatpants beneath it and feet bare. He'd come to a stop directly in front of the far wall and was now just… staring at it.

Knitting my eyebrows together, I whispered, "What's he doing?"

Still keeping his voice down as well, Lea said, "Sleepwalking. Something he's done all his life, but it's been months since the last episode, so I was hoping we'd be in the clear today."

"Oh." I cocked my head. "...shouldn't we wake him?"

"No," he said quickly and with as much emphasis as he could muster in his hushed tone. "He goes totally berserk if you do. Believe me, it is not pretty. Best just to stay out of his way and let him do his thing. He usually only wanders about for a few minutes before he heads back to his bed. Just-"

He hastily cut himself off as Saïx chose that second to whip around and face us. His eyes were closed and between them, a faded scar in the shape of an X slashed across the bridge of his nose. Lea's hand still on mine, I felt his grip tighten as Saïx started ambling in our direction. "Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it," I barely heard Lea chanting under his breath, watching Saïx like a hawk as he drew ever nearer.

He came to a lurching halt once more, this time next to the dining chair across the table from us. Lea scowled at him, muttering, "You're gonna do it, aren't you, you slumbering jackass? You're gonna play musical goddamn chairs." As if on cue, Saïx pulled out the seat and sat down. Watching him, it was almost eerie the way he seemed to look directly at us even though his eyes remained shut the whole time. A second later, he was rising again and moving counterclockwise towards the next chair closer to me. As he plopped down once more, Lea growled, "Damn it, of course. Of. Fucking. Course you are, you big, dumb, sleep deprived- shit, move!"

Lea leapt to his feet, yanking me up and out of my chair with him just as Saïx was about to yet again take a seat, this time on top of me. Lea backed up a few steps towards the kitchen island, me still in tow and our fingers now interlaced, his other hand miming pulling a zipper over his lips to me while his unblinking gaze never left his brother. A few seconds ticked by before Saïx was up and on the move again, his knee banging into Lea's chair, making the redhead cringe slightly. However, this only seemed to give Saïx pause for a beat before it too was sat upon.

I felt a tug on my arm and Lea started pulling me along, gingerly sidling over to circle the table in an attempt to put it between us and Saïx as we watched him stand back up and move onto the next seat. Then the next. And the next. He did this a few more times, with us all the while continuing to sneak around so as to stay opposite of him. At last, he seemed to lose interest in the dining area, turning his back to it and making his way into the kitchen.

Lea's eyes darted over to his bedroom door. Then to where Saïx had disappeared behind a column. Then back and forth a few more times. Then he murmured, "C'mon. My room. He always stays outta there."

I reached for the textbook with my free hand, "Just give me a sec to-"

"No time, leave it!" he hissed, making a run for it, giving me little choice but to stumble after him or be dragged. We were almost there, his door was just a few more feet away, but then-

"Motherfu-" Lea quietly choked out as Saïx reemerged from the kitchen directly into our path. Immediately putting on the brakes, his feet scrabbled and skidded until he had shifted into reverse and backed up against the square column at the end of the kitchen island, yanking me backwards with him. He flattened himself against the surface and I did the same as Saïx shambled by hardly centimeters in front of us. Saïx then came to a stop once more, this time taking up post in the small corridor right smack dab in front of Lea's room.

Lea released a barely audible sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. Then, still maintaining a whisper, "Bad Saïx! Bad!" He flicked his hand in his roomie's direction a couple times, "Shoo! Shoo!"

Saïx, seemingly unperturbed, didn't budge.

...this had to be… without a doubt, hands down… the weirdest social visit I'd ever been to.

Another minute passed of Lea unsuccessfully trying to persuade Saïx to get lost. Finally however, he did decide to move… straight towards us.

"Crap." Still leading me by the hand, Lea bolted around the corner and back into the dinette. The table, the chairs, the island, everything blurred past us. It was all happening so fast and before I knew it, Lea was jerking me into a hiding spot with him. And where, one might wonder, might that be?

Do the words 'itty bitty pantry space' ring any bells?

This, at least, solved one mystery. Lea could, in fact, fit in here. Not only that, there was even enough space left over for one (1) awkward Elsa to go in there with him. It was however, hrm... a rather tight squeeze, to say the least.

"This door opening in is really shit design," Lea grumbled, back pressed against said door and unable to close it as there was, quite simply, not enough room to do so. Not with us in the way anyhow.

He'd released my hand by now and I currently stood opposite him, my own spine uncomfortably pressing into the shelves of canned goods behind me. The gap between us was virtually non-existent to the point where every breath I took had my chest brushing up against his. Of course, that cinnamon scent of his that I was becoming oh so familiar with at this point was present and accounted for, invading my senses. And was it just me or was it getting a bit on the warm side in here? Poor ventilation. That had to be it. Yup.

I had no idea where to look. His face? Out of the question! Not in here, not this up close and personal, nope, nu-uh! I'd just have to settle for what was right in front of my nose.

Why good day, Mr Man Boob! We really have to stop meeting like this. Still looking as stately as ever, I see… wait! Oh gosh! What am I doing? I can't be staring at his frigging man boobs! That's just… just so unseemly! ...or is it? Is it technically okay for me to get an eyeful of man boob? If so, well that's a bit of a double standard now, isn't it? Better to be on the safe side and shift over to your charming neighbor here.

Hello there, Mr Bicep! Looking real good, real fit… have you been working out? Well whatever it is, it's doing wonders because let me tell you, you look nice enough to-

...ahem, readjusting focus once again, now landing on, um... Mr Collarbone! Yeah, Mr Collarbone here seemed innocent and harmless enough.

I think.

Clearing my throat, I asked, "So… he doesn't ever come in here during one of his episodes, right?"

"Never." I heard some shifting that I think was his head turning to look out the door, where there had yet to be any further movement. "...almost never."

"...how reassuring."

And silence reigned once again. This was so uncomfortable. I was dying. Come on, Elsa, say something else! Anything to break the stifling awkwardness! Say something… something nice! Yeah, like a compliment! Tell him… what a lovely home he has! No, too generic. Comment on the… smallness of his food closet! No no, jeez, that wasn't even a compliment. Point out the… stateliness of his man boobs! …oh dear god, no! Dang it, Elsa, why are you so bad at this?!

"So, uh... what's a nice girl like you doing in a pantry like this?"

I blinked. Then, somehow, I finally found the courage to look up at him. He said nothing else, just gave me a tiny half-grin and a wink. And just like that, all that tension inside me cracked, shattered, and started to melt. Slowly but surely, a smile stretched at my lips and I gave a soft snort.

How did he do it? How did Lea always seem to know just what to say to put me at ease?

Shaking my head, I murmured, "I bet you use that line on all the ladies."

He hummed a low chuckle and made no other reply, just continued to stare down the few inches that separated us. Gosh, his eyes really were just the most beautiful shade of green, weren't they? Out of the corner of my peripheral, I saw his hand slowly rising until it hovered just beside my cheek. There he paused… hesitated… and then-

Clunk!

A sudden noise from outside and his hand had seized my shoulder tightly while his other shot up, pressing an index finger to his lips. I nodded and we both peered out into the dining room, waiting. We heard Saïx before we saw him, that very distinctive thud, thud, thud of his footsteps drawing nearer. Then he plodded into view, pulling to a stop right outside the doorway and just stood there. Neither of us moved a muscle, remaining frozen like statues and holding our breaths as we watched and silently prayed.

After what felt like an eternity but in reality was probably only ten seconds, he started walking again, lumbering off out of our line of sight. We both exhaled and slumped, listening to his footfall fade. Then there was the blessed sound of a door creaking open followed by it clicking shut.

"Is that it?" I asked hopefully, voice still a whisper.

"Should be." He cautiously poked his head out to look around. "I mean, sometimes he gets crafty for a sleeping dude and will just open and close doors without going through them, but it's rare."

Good enough for me! I slipped out of the pantry and crossed the dinette, coming to a halt next to the sofa where I started to stretch a bit. Ahh, taste that sweet, sweet air of freedom! Whew, I had been starting to get a bit claustrophobic in-

"Look out!"

At Lea's warning, I spun around. Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the apartment, there Saïx was again, heading straight for me!

And I, being the total dummy that I am, decided to pick the absolute worst time (aka now) to have a total deer in the headlights moment. My body was just not responding. Hello, legs? Anyone home? Now would be a really great time to jump out of the way! ...huh. No reply. Feet? Come in, feet, old buddies old pals! Saïx's getting real close here so if you could just, ya know, get a move on, that'd be swell! ...radio silence from that corner too. Well shoot, I thought as I squeezed my eyes shut, I guess this was it. The end of the road. The final curtains. Goodbye, cruel world. So long, and thanks for all the-

An abrupt force suddenly barreled into me from the side, pushing me out of Saïx's path at the last second and sending me tumbling over the arm of the couch where my back hit the seat cushions, decorative pillows flying everywhere. As my brain scrambled to catch up, I gradually became aware of the fact that there was a large weight on top of me, pinning me down. Warily, I peeked one eye open. Then the other. Then I blinked once. Twice. Then my face erupted into an inferno.

Because that weight on top of me? I'd figured out what it was. Or rather, who it was.

Lea.

He must have thrown himself at me, knocking us both out of the way of danger and onto the sofa. And thus why he could now be found hovering over me, his hands on my wrists, holding them down to either side of my head as he propped himself up, his hips resting between my legs. His head was currently turned to the left as he watched over the backrest of the couch, probably tracking Saïx's movements. So engrossed was he in this that I don't think he was aware of the rather compromising position we were in right now.

Unlike me, who was very, very aware.

I just stared up at him, unable to move, unable to think. My face grew hotter and hotter by the minute as my heart thundered in my ears. My breath hitched and my mouth grew dry. But the weird part? I… wasn't panicking. Oh sure, all the classic signs of panic were there, but that wasn't it. That wasn't what I was feeling. What was it then? This strange, alien emotion I felt invading my chest as I gazed up at him, making me feel all…

...kind of, sort of warm and fuzzy?

...wait.

This wasn't-

I wasn't-

Dear lord, it couldn't be I-

"There!" Lea puffed out a sigh, his shoulders sagging in relief. "I actually saw him go back into his room just now, so we should be safe for real this time. Sorry 'bout all th-" The words died in his throat as now, at long last, he looked down at me. And you could all but hear the click in his brain. He froze, eyes wide. There was a long stretch where neither of us said or did anything. Then abruptly, "Shit, s-sorry!" He quickly released my wrists, shooting up onto his knees and hastily crossing his arms, jamming his hands into his armpits. "I didn't mean to- That is, I- This was just- This isn't how it-"

In his rush to stand, he slipped and fell off the couch, banging his head against the coffee table. I gasped, sitting up and reaching for him, "Are you okay?"

In a flash he was back on his feet, rubbing the fresh sore spot and blurting out, "Yup, no, I'm good! Just dandy! Just a small concussion, no biggie, nothing a bandaid or-" once again, the coffee table got the better of him and he stumbled backwards over it. He managed to catch himself however and chuckled weakly, "Heh… who put that stupid thing there? Anyway, I'll just go, uh, get myself patched up... in the bathroom! Yeah, be right back!" And with that, he practically blurred across the apartment and straight into the restroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

...well then.

I think that answered that.

Mission Not A Crush.

Because I think we can all agree now that Lea clearly and quite obviously…

...did not have a crush on me.

I mean, come on, did you see the guy? He couldn't get away from me fast enough! All but tripping over himself to put as much distance between the two of us as he could. Probably desperate not to give me the wrong idea. Well message received, loud and clear.

However, this did complicate things a bit now though.

Because even though he didn't have a crush on me…

...I was now pretty sure I had a crush on him.

Author's Notes: Ahhh, this chapter… in which it's probably never been made more clear how really bad Elsa is at reading social cues from others xD Also, always love me a good ol' "hey, look, we're trapped in a tiny cramped space together" scene, that's my crack yo :3 But on another note, now Elsa's gone and done it… she caught feelings, the lil fool! Something she's never had to deal with before, so this should be fun xD Minor Fun Fact: Saïx's middle name in this is Isa, just like how Lea is technically our redhead's middle name as well. But unlike Lea, Saïx actually likes his first name so that's what he goes by. And we'll have a real appearance from Saïx in later chapters, not just sleepwalking zombie Saïx xP Another Minor Fun Fact: the stuff about the chainsaw was supposed to be a reference to Saïx's claymore from the video games - chainsaw is just the closest thing I could come up with xD And for those unfamiliar with this bit from the manga, there's a point where Saïx attacks Axel with his claymore and leaves him wounded right where Lea's scar is in this chapter, so another teeny lil reference, weeeee! Another ANOTHER Minor Fun Fact: Lea's outfit, if you didn't recognize it, was based on his outfit at the end of KH3! Elsa's outfit… was not based on anything, it just sounded like something I thought she'd look cute in xD Also this chapter marks the start of me regretting a little bit making this story only Elsa's POV. I mean, how fun would it be to write all the things going through Lea's head right about now? xD Alas, I'll just have to leave that up to your imaginations, dear readers!

Next chapter, what will Elsa do with these new fledgling emotions of hers? Is it really a crush? Or is she simply confused in all the whirlwind of excitement that just happened? Will Lea ever pass his exam? COULD the derivative of F evaluated at X as H approaches zero actually BE Bueno Volcano? Stay tuned!

Thanks for reading, I super duper appreciate it! And an extra BIG thank you to those of you who’ve liked, reblogged, and followed so far, seeing those lil notifications always brings the biggest, goofiest smile to my face!

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

[lauriecgarcia]

These 13 Fun Party Games Are Guaranteed To Make You LOL

Whether I’m planning an adult birthday party, an event for church, or a holiday party, there are a few things I always make sure to include. A party just isn’t a party without good food, some music, and of course, fun party games! Today’s post is all about the latter. I’ll be sharing fun and easy games that are sure to add plenty of fun to your adult holiday parties this year!

The first batch of games that I’ll be sharing today were chosen based on their overall customer reviews on Amazon. These games all have over 4 stars on Amazon after hundreds of reviews, so you know that people really enjoy them! Following those games, I also included a few games that the adults and kids in my family love to play together.

So no matter what type of games you like to play, you’re sure to find something that suits your style in this list. Add one or two of these games to your next holiday party to make some fun and hilarious memories together!

13 Fun And Easy Party Games

1. The Game of Things

4.7 stars, 391 reviews

In The Game Of Things, one player reads a topic card and everyone else writes down a response. (For example, if the card reads “THINGS… people do when no one is looking,” you might write “Eat cake for breakfast.”) Then all the responses are read aloud, and players try to figure out who said what. See it on Amazon here.

2. 5 Second Rule

4.5 stars, 1,900 reviews

Pick a card, read the deceptively simple topic, then start the special 5-second spiral timer. The player has only 5 seconds to name 3 things that fit the topic, and watch the hilarity ensue! Players get tongue-tied and funny answers are almost guaranteed to follow in this fast-paced party game. Plus, the spiral timer makes a fun ZOOP noise (or a stress-inducing ZOOP noise, depending on whose turn it is!) See it on Amazon here.

3. Bananagrams

4.7 stars, 2,286 reviews

Bananagrams is like a distant cousin of Scrabble, but in this game, speed wins instead of points! Players race to build joined up words using all of their tiles. When any player uses all of their letters, they shout “Peel!” Then the players take on a new tile, meaning everyone has to quickly rebuild their word grid! Not only is this game game fun for the whole family, it can also help improve kids’ spelling skills too! See it on Amazon here.

4. Watch Ya’ Mouth

4.3 stars, 2,608 reviews

Players wear cheek retractors and speak out phrases while teammates attempt to guess what they are saying. This one is sure to get people laughing, either from the sound of the garbled phrases or just because of how silly everyone looks!

The base game comes with family-friendly phrase cards, but you can also buy expansion packs that come with adults-only or themed phrase cards. See it on Amazon here.

5. Exploding Kittens

4.4 stars, 11,800 reviews

Exploding Kittens started out as the most-backed Kickstarter project in history, continues to be one of the post popular card games year after year. It’s sort of like UNO meets Russian Roulette, where you play your cards strategically to avoid ending up with an Exploding Kitten (which knocks you out of the game). This is silly game is a ton of fun for people who enjoy a bit of nonsense! See it on Amazon here.

6. What Do You Meme?

4.5 stars, 4,477 reviews

Warning: Adults Only! This card game is like Apples to Apples if it was based on internet memes. Up to 20 people can play at once, and players submit Caption Cards that they think are best suited to the Photo Card for that round. A rotating judge picks the best combination, and the game goes for as long or short as you like! This game is best suited for people with a working knowledge of memes and an appreciation of raunchy humor. See it on Amazon here.

7. UNO

4.7 stars, 2,536 reviews

UNO is a classic card game that is often overlooked as a party game! With game-altering cards like Reverse, Skip, and Draw 4, it doesn’t take long before hilarious hijinks have everyone laughing! See it on Amazon here.

8. Sushi Go

4.5 stars, 1,478 reviews

In this fast-playing card game, the goal is to grab the best combination of sushi dishes as they whiz by. It’s a more approachable take on card drafting games. Reviewers like that it’s easy to learn, quick to play, and engaging for all ages! Plus, who could resist the adorably illustrated sushi characters on the cards?! See it on Amazon here.

9. Skull

4.5 stars, 119 reviews

My family loves this “betting” game, and it’s easy to learn! Each player starts with 3 flower cards and 1 skull card. The players take turns selecting a card to play face-down on their mat. This continues until a player decides to place a bet, calling out the number of cards they believe they can flip over without revealing a skull card. Bets are raised, then the player with the highest bet flips the cards and hopes to avoid a skull. Expect tons of laughs over foiled plans, failed bluffs, and rampant paranoia. See it on Amazon here.

10. Heads Up!

Nystul family favorite

Heads Up! is an app-based game that’s similar to Taboo. On their turn, one player holds the phone against their forehead to display a word or phrase to the other players. The other players then provide clues to the person whose turn it is to help them correctly guess the word or phrase, continuing with new words and phrases until time runs out. We like that there are no cards or game pieces required, which makes it quick and easy to get a game going! Find out more on EllenTube.

11. Twiggle

Nystul family favorite

You may have seen this game played on Minute to Win It as “Junk In The Trunk,” and now you can play it at home with Twiggle! Each player straps a box of ping-pong balls to their waist. When the game starts, the goal is simple: without using your hands, be the first one to empty all the balls out of your box! This frantic game is sure to end in tears of laughter as you watch the players spin, wiggle, and dance their way to victory! See it on Amazon here.

12. Wet Head

Nystul family favorite

We played this Roulette-style game on a lake trip a couple of summers ago and had such a blast! Players take turn donning a special hat with a reservoir full of water surrounded by pegs. On your turn, spin a spinner to to find out how many pegs you have to remove from the hat. But one unlucky peg will release all of the water onto your head, so choose carefully! This hilarious game is best played outside—and if you want to really raise the stakes, do what my kids did and fill the reservoir with ice-cold water! See it on Amazon here.

13. The Flour Game

Nystul family favorite

Playing this game has been a Christmas tradition since I was a little girl! To play, turn out a packed cup of flour onto a plate and place a Lifesaver candy on top. Players take turns using a butter knife to slice off sections of the flour. The player who causes the flour to collapse gets the “honor” of fishing the Lifesaver out of the flour—using only their mouth! Games don’t get much cheaper, easier, or more fun to watch than this one! (You can read more about the Flour Game by reading the post at the link below!)

Related: How To Play The Flour Game – Silliness Guaranteed!

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8302119 https://www.onegoodthingbyjillee.com/13-hilarious-party-games from The Top Cleaner https://thetopcleaner.tumblr.com/post/181203593187

[lauriecgarcia]

These 13 Fun Party Games Are Guaranteed To Make You LOL

Whether I’m planning an adult birthday party, an event for church, or a holiday party, there are a few things I always make sure to include. A party just isn’t a party without good food, some music, and of course, fun party games! Today’s post is all about the latter. I’ll be sharing fun and easy games that are sure to add plenty of fun to your adult holiday parties this year!

The first batch of games that I’ll be sharing today were chosen based on their overall customer reviews on Amazon. These games all have over 4 stars on Amazon after hundreds of reviews, so you know that people really enjoy them! Following those games, I also included a few games that the adults and kids in my family love to play together.

So no matter what type of games you like to play, you’re sure to find something that suits your style in this list. Add one or two of these games to your next holiday party to make some fun and hilarious memories together!

13 Fun And Easy Party Games

1. The Game of Things

4.7 stars, 391 reviews

In The Game Of Things, one player reads a topic card and everyone else writes down a response. (For example, if the card reads “THINGS… people do when no one is looking,” you might write “Eat cake for breakfast.”) Then all the responses are read aloud, and players try to figure out who said what. See it on Amazon here.

2. 5 Second Rule

4.5 stars, 1,900 reviews

Pick a card, read the deceptively simple topic, then start the special 5-second spiral timer. The player has only 5 seconds to name 3 things that fit the topic, and watch the hilarity ensue! Players get tongue-tied and funny answers are almost guaranteed to follow in this fast-paced party game. Plus, the spiral timer makes a fun ZOOP noise (or a stress-inducing ZOOP noise, depending on whose turn it is!) See it on Amazon here.

3. Bananagrams

4.7 stars, 2,286 reviews

Bananagrams is like a distant cousin of Scrabble, but in this game, speed wins instead of points! Players race to build joined up words using all of their tiles. When any player uses all of their letters, they shout “Peel!” Then the players take on a new tile, meaning everyone has to quickly rebuild their word grid! Not only is this game game fun for the whole family, it can also help improve kids’ spelling skills too! See it on Amazon here.

4. Watch Ya’ Mouth

4.3 stars, 2,608 reviews

Players wear cheek retractors and speak out phrases while teammates attempt to guess what they are saying. This one is sure to get people laughing, either from the sound of the garbled phrases or just because of how silly everyone looks!

The base game comes with family-friendly phrase cards, but you can also buy expansion packs that come with adults-only or themed phrase cards. See it on Amazon here.

5. Exploding Kittens

4.4 stars, 11,800 reviews

Exploding Kittens started out as the most-backed Kickstarter project in history, continues to be one of the post popular card games year after year. It’s sort of like UNO meets Russian Roulette, where you play your cards strategically to avoid ending up with an Exploding Kitten (which knocks you out of the game). This is silly game is a ton of fun for people who enjoy a bit of nonsense! See it on Amazon here.

6. What Do You Meme?

4.5 stars, 4,477 reviews

Warning: Adults Only! This card game is like Apples to Apples if it was based on internet memes. Up to 20 people can play at once, and players submit Caption Cards that they think are best suited to the Photo Card for that round. A rotating judge picks the best combination, and the game goes for as long or short as you like! This game is best suited for people with a working knowledge of memes and an appreciation of raunchy humor. See it on Amazon here.

7. UNO

4.7 stars, 2,536 reviews

UNO is a classic card game that is often overlooked as a party game! With game-altering cards like Reverse, Skip, and Draw 4, it doesn’t take long before hilarious hijinks have everyone laughing! See it on Amazon here.

8. Sushi Go

4.5 stars, 1,478 reviews

In this fast-playing card game, the goal is to grab the best combination of sushi dishes as they whiz by. It’s a more approachable take on card drafting games. Reviewers like that it’s easy to learn, quick to play, and engaging for all ages! Plus, who could resist the adorably illustrated sushi characters on the cards?! See it on Amazon here.

9. Skull

4.5 stars, 119 reviews

My family loves this “betting” game, and it’s easy to learn! Each player starts with 3 flower cards and 1 skull card. The players take turns selecting a card to play face-down on their mat. This continues until a player decides to place a bet, calling out the number of cards they believe they can flip over without revealing a skull card. Bets are raised, then the player with the highest bet flips the cards and hopes to avoid a skull. Expect tons of laughs over foiled plans, failed bluffs, and rampant paranoia. See it on Amazon here.

10. Heads Up!

Nystul family favorite

Heads Up! is an app-based game that’s similar to Taboo. On their turn, one player holds the phone against their forehead to display a word or phrase to the other players. The other players then provide clues to the person whose turn it is to help them correctly guess the word or phrase, continuing with new words and phrases until time runs out. We like that there are no cards or game pieces required, which makes it quick and easy to get a game going! Find out more on EllenTube.

11. Twiggle

Nystul family favorite

You may have seen this game played on Minute to Win It as “Junk In The Trunk,” and now you can play it at home with Twiggle! Each player straps a box of ping-pong balls to their waist. When the game starts, the goal is simple: without using your hands, be the first one to empty all the balls out of your box! This frantic game is sure to end in tears of laughter as you watch the players spin, wiggle, and dance their way to victory! See it on Amazon here.

12. Wet Head

Nystul family favorite

We played this Roulette-style game on a lake trip a couple of summers ago and had such a blast! Players take turn donning a special hat with a reservoir full of water surrounded by pegs. On your turn, spin a spinner to to find out how many pegs you have to remove from the hat. But one unlucky peg will release all of the water onto your head, so choose carefully! This hilarious game is best played outside—and if you want to really raise the stakes, do what my kids did and fill the reservoir with ice-cold water! See it on Amazon here.

13. The Flour Game

Nystul family favorite

Playing this game has been a Christmas tradition since I was a little girl! To play, turn out a packed cup of flour onto a plate and place a Lifesaver candy on top. Players take turns using a butter knife to slice off sections of the flour. The player who causes the flour to collapse gets the “honor” of fishing the Lifesaver out of the flour—using only their mouth! Games don’t get much cheaper, easier, or more fun to watch than this one! (You can read more about the Flour Game by reading the post at the link below!)

Related: How To Play The Flour Game – Silliness Guaranteed!

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8302119 https://www.onegoodthingbyjillee.com/13-hilarious-party-games from The Top Cleaner https://thetopcleaner.tumblr.com/post/181199730447

[lauriecgarcia]

These 13 Fun Party Games Are Guaranteed To Make You LOL

Whether I’m planning an adult birthday party, an event for church, or a holiday party, there are a few things I always make sure to include. A party just isn’t a party without good food, some music, and of course, fun party games! Today’s post is all about the latter. I’ll be sharing fun and easy games that are sure to add plenty of fun to your adult holiday parties this year!

The first batch of games that I’ll be sharing today were chosen based on their overall customer reviews on Amazon. These games all have over 4 stars on Amazon after hundreds of reviews, so you know that people really enjoy them! Following those games, I also included a few games that the adults and kids in my family love to play together.

So no matter what type of games you like to play, you’re sure to find something that suits your style in this list. Add one or two of these games to your next holiday party to make some fun and hilarious memories together!

13 Fun And Easy Party Games

1. The Game of Things

4.7 stars, 391 reviews

In The Game Of Things, one player reads a topic card and everyone else writes down a response. (For example, if the card reads “THINGS… people do when no one is looking,” you might write “Eat cake for breakfast.”) Then all the responses are read aloud, and players try to figure out who said what. See it on Amazon here.

2. 5 Second Rule

4.5 stars, 1,900 reviews

Pick a card, read the deceptively simple topic, then start the special 5-second spiral timer. The player has only 5 seconds to name 3 things that fit the topic, and watch the hilarity ensue! Players get tongue-tied and funny answers are almost guaranteed to follow in this fast-paced party game. Plus, the spiral timer makes a fun ZOOP noise (or a stress-inducing ZOOP noise, depending on whose turn it is!) See it on Amazon here.

3. Bananagrams

4.7 stars, 2,286 reviews

Bananagrams is like a distant cousin of Scrabble, but in this game, speed wins instead of points! Players race to build joined up words using all of their tiles. When any player uses all of their letters, they shout “Peel!” Then the players take on a new tile, meaning everyone has to quickly rebuild their word grid! Not only is this game game fun for the whole family, it can also help improve kids’ spelling skills too! See it on Amazon here.

4. Watch Ya’ Mouth

4.3 stars, 2,608 reviews

Players wear cheek retractors and speak out phrases while teammates attempt to guess what they are saying. This one is sure to get people laughing, either from the sound of the garbled phrases or just because of how silly everyone looks!

The base game comes with family-friendly phrase cards, but you can also buy expansion packs that come with adults-only or themed phrase cards. See it on Amazon here.

5. Exploding Kittens

4.4 stars, 11,800 reviews

Exploding Kittens started out as the most-backed Kickstarter project in history, continues to be one of the post popular card games year after year. It’s sort of like UNO meets Russian Roulette, where you play your cards strategically to avoid ending up with an Exploding Kitten (which knocks you out of the game). This is silly game is a ton of fun for people who enjoy a bit of nonsense! See it on Amazon here.

6. What Do You Meme?

4.5 stars, 4,477 reviews

Warning: Adults Only! This card game is like Apples to Apples if it was based on internet memes. Up to 20 people can play at once, and players submit Caption Cards that they think are best suited to the Photo Card for that round. A rotating judge picks the best combination, and the game goes for as long or short as you like! This game is best suited for people with a working knowledge of memes and an appreciation of raunchy humor. See it on Amazon here.

7. UNO

4.7 stars, 2,536 reviews

UNO is a classic card game that is often overlooked as a party game! With game-altering cards like Reverse, Skip, and Draw 4, it doesn’t take long before hilarious hijinks have everyone laughing! See it on Amazon here.

8. Sushi Go

4.5 stars, 1,478 reviews

In this fast-playing card game, the goal is to grab the best combination of sushi dishes as they whiz by. It’s a more approachable take on card drafting games. Reviewers like that it’s easy to learn, quick to play, and engaging for all ages! Plus, who could resist the adorably illustrated sushi characters on the cards?! See it on Amazon here.

9. Skull

4.5 stars, 119 reviews

My family loves this “betting” game, and it’s easy to learn! Each player starts with 3 flower cards and 1 skull card. The players take turns selecting a card to play face-down on their mat. This continues until a player decides to place a bet, calling out the number of cards they believe they can flip over without revealing a skull card. Bets are raised, then the player with the highest bet flips the cards and hopes to avoid a skull. Expect tons of laughs over foiled plans, failed bluffs, and rampant paranoia. See it on Amazon here.

10. Heads Up!

Nystul family favorite

Heads Up! is an app-based game that’s similar to Taboo. On their turn, one player holds the phone against their forehead to display a word or phrase to the other players. The other players then provide clues to the person whose turn it is to help them correctly guess the word or phrase, continuing with new words and phrases until time runs out. We like that there are no cards or game pieces required, which makes it quick and easy to get a game going! Find out more on EllenTube.

11. Twiggle

Nystul family favorite

You may have seen this game played on Minute to Win It as “Junk In The Trunk,” and now you can play it at home with Twiggle! Each player straps a box of ping-pong balls to their waist. When the game starts, the goal is simple: without using your hands, be the first one to empty all the balls out of your box! This frantic game is sure to end in tears of laughter as you watch the players spin, wiggle, and dance their way to victory! See it on Amazon here.

12. Wet Head

Nystul family favorite

We played this Roulette-style game on a lake trip a couple of summers ago and had such a blast! Players take turn donning a special hat with a reservoir full of water surrounded by pegs. On your turn, spin a spinner to to find out how many pegs you have to remove from the hat. But one unlucky peg will release all of the water onto your head, so choose carefully! This hilarious game is best played outside—and if you want to really raise the stakes, do what my kids did and fill the reservoir with ice-cold water! See it on Amazon here.

13. The Flour Game

Nystul family favorite

Playing this game has been a Christmas tradition since I was a little girl! To play, turn out a packed cup of flour onto a plate and place a Lifesaver candy on top. Players take turns using a butter knife to slice off sections of the flour. The player who causes the flour to collapse gets the “honor” of fishing the Lifesaver out of the flour—using only their mouth! Games don’t get much cheaper, easier, or more fun to watch than this one! (You can read more about the Flour Game by reading the post at the link below!)

Related: How To Play The Flour Game – Silliness Guaranteed!

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8302119 https://www.onegoodthingbyjillee.com/13-hilarious-party-games from The Top Cleaner https://thetopcleaner.tumblr.com/post/181161425637