#with my new membership card (if you’re a beautiful woman you can pretty much talk me into anything. a bath and body works sales assistant

[fingertipsmp3]

Why am I a dumbaaaaaass who doesn’t understand how anything works :(

[angelsswirl]

Petrichor

ONE

Summary: You've found yourself in a horrible situation. And there's only one way to get out of it. Choose: Park Chaeyoung or Kim Jisoo.

Notes: i just wanted to get a story out for the other half of the group since what's posted currently is mostly jenlisa centric. Also, the original story took place in new york and i think it's beneficial for it to stay that way.

Requested: sort of

Type: Chaptered

Warnings: jisoo and rosé are both alphas so 😉

...

"Everything, has changed."

New York City is five hundred percent a horrible place to be. There's no question about it. It stinks, it's hot, and there's just so many damn people.

It's one of the reasons you skipped out on going to the gym often. That, and residual laziness really.

The only reason why you were here in the first place was because the gym in your apartment building was being "remodeled". In reality, you think someone finally died in there and they're cleaning up the evidence.

It was, of course, packed. It was toward the middle of the city, but it was the only one you didn't need a one hundred dollar plus membership to workout in.

Your graduate student wallet couldn't take that, but it could take planet fitness' free trial. You weren't going to be in there long anyway.

You were only doing enough exercise to burn off about 500 calories, so you could put them back on at your bestfriend's gathering later that night.

The way you work out this should only take about three miles on the elliptical and 4 reps of the 40 pound bar. You'll be out in like an hour. Which is great, because you didn't know how much more you could take of alphas staring at your ass, and the stench of this place. Oh God, the stench.

The ass ogling may very well be your own fault. These new floral fabletics leggings just fit you too damn perfectly and you definitely should have saved them for when you could afford the expensive gym that could afford scent filters. No seriously, it stunk so bad your eyes were watering.

You aimed to get started on the elliptical, only to be hindered when the damn thing won't turn on. You pressed every single button around and nothing happened.

You must be very obviously struggling because someone walked over and took pity on you. There's a bang of machinery and then suddenly your feet are spiraling.

"Sometimes these things need a good kickstart." A soft, alpha voice says conversationally.

"Uhh, thank you. Do you work here?"

"Me? Oh, no. Just come here often enough to know that it's shit."

The soft voiced alpha woman, is absolutely gorgeous, like so gorgeous you wonder why she would even dare step foot in a place like this.

"I'm Chaeyoung, but you can call me Rosé if you want." She held out her hand.

"Y/N." The handshake is firm. Like Rosé has been doing it frequently for a while now.

"Nice to meet you, Y/N." Rosé decided to get onto the machine right next to you. Something, you're sure, was not going to happen originally. You're flattered to say the least.

"Sorry if this seems too forward, but you're really pretty, and I was wondering if you wanted to go out sometime. I don't normally do this type of thing and I feel very weird right now, so please say yes so I can stop talking and embarrassing myself-" Chaeyoung held out a sleek blue business card (someone used vistaprint). You placed it back into her hand with your number scrawled onto the back. Apparently, Chaeyoung is the type that carries business cards and pens in her gym shorts.

"I would like that, Rosé." You smiled, amused at Chaeyoung's sudden change of confidence. She walked over with so much, and then suddenly it was gone. You found that endearing.

"Oh! That's nice. Um, I didn't think this far ahead, okay. Shit." You just lazily stepped/pedaled on the elliptical as you watched Rosé flounder with a raised eyebrow.

"I'll call you later with details?" She got it!

"I'm looking forward to it."

"Great. I'm going to walk away now because my break was up like 15 minutes ago."

You chuckled to yourself as the woman slowly walked away.

~•~

The party was in full swing by the time you got there. You did that purposefully.

Lisa is nowhere to be found so you take that as your opportunity to start stuffing your face with hor d'oeuvres.

Unlike yourself, Lisa had graduated with her bachelor's in education and decided that was enough. Soon after she met her alpha, Jennie, and they settled down in suburbia rather quickly.

You hadn't wanted just a bachelor's in education. You wanted your master's because you're a perfectionist. Always have been. You're in your second year of grad school through NYU.

Lisa had told you it wasn't necessary. It was a waste of time. You exactly wouldn't get paid more or enter in a higher position than she would have with just her bachelor's. And she was right. You were omegas, it would always be diffcult to get your dream job. You knew that. But you didn't listen.

It was hard to keep up your friendship as Lisa got deeper into it with Jennie, and you got deeper into your studies. You haven't talked nearly as much as you would like lately.

That's what you came here tonight to fix. Jennie and Lisa had gathered many of their closest friends for some sort of get together. You weren't asking questions, you were just there for Lisa and the food.

A tap to your shoulder startled you almost enough to drop your crab puff. You turned around to face the perpetrator.

"Having fun there?" Lisa said with a concerned look. In her defense, you're mouth is visibly full and you looked downright capable of murder with the prospect of dropping your snack.

"Lali!" It's a bit muddled, with the full mouth and all, but the point is delivered. You hastily chew and swallow. Somehow without choking to death.

"Hello, beautiful! How have you been?" Lisa looked a bit miffed at the fact that she even had to ask that, but she's still curious.

"I'm good. School is fine. You know me." You just shrug. There was no need to tell her that you sort of felt like your life was coming to a complete standstill. You smiled politely as Jennie approached behind Lisa's shoulder.

"Hello, Jennie."

"Hi, Y/N. Do you mind if I steal this one away for a sec?" Yes. Yes you does. You do mind a whole lot, but it doesn't seem you have much of a choice as Jennie leads her omega away.

"So much for getting your best friend back." You mumbled to yourself. You headed toward one of the beverage collections, grabbing a spring water. You opened it and took a sip.

A few seconds later, there's a tapping of metal against glass and everyone's attention is drawn toward the center of the livingroom.

"Okay, first we would like to thank everyone for coming. You're probably wondering why you're all here." Jennie inquired, and the room nodded along.

"Well, we have an announcement...we're pregnant!"

You're not quite sure why it seems like the room is suddenly closing in on you. Maybe you ate too much too quickly, or maybe that feeling that everyone is moving so quickly without you is finally starting to really penetrate your psyche.

It's not until then that you realize both of the happy couple's parents are here and everyone is congratulating them and you should be too, but you can't. Not right now.

You need some air.

You settled for the kitchen, it would be too hot outside, and someone would surely see you leave. There isn't anyone in there as far as you can see, so you dart into it.

"Some party, isn't it?"

You jumped so harshly, your off the shoulder blouse switched to being off the other shoulder.

The woman, an alpha if the way she's standing is anything to go by, sipped lazily on a beer. She's barely taller than you yourself, and yet vaguely familiar.

"Uh, it's okay." You cower a bit under the woman's gaze. You fumbled with the cap of your water and deftly take another sip.

"Yeah. There's going to be another Jennie running around here. Get right with your God while you can." A smirk slipped out from behind the beer bottle.

You laughed a bit, "Do I know you? You seem familiar."

The woman seemed to hesitate a bit before holding out her hand, "Jisoo. I don't think you do know me." You shook her hand happily.

"Y/N."

Jisoo nodded, "So how do you know Thing 1 and Thing 2 in there?"

"Lisa and I went to college together. I was with her the day she met Jennie actually."

"Was it love at first sight?" Jisoo took another sip of her beer. She grimaced slightly. You get the sense that dhe doesn't like what she's drinking but is torturing herself anyway for some reason.

"Not at all. We both hated her. She said something stupid. For the life of me, I can't remember what it was, but it was very stupid. But, she kept coming back and somehow she got Lali to fall in love with her somewhere in there." You smiled a bit bittersweetly.

"And you?"

"And I what?"

"How do you feel about Jennie?" Jisoo smiled conspiratorially.

"I-it doesn't matter how I feel about Jennie. She treats Lisa right so that's enough for me. Anyway, how do you know them? Are you family?"

Jisoo shrugged one shoulder lazily, "Depends on who you ask."

"Oh."

There's a lull in the conversation, before you spoke up again.

"Do you know what time it is? I have class in the morning."

Jisoo pulled out her phone, she turned the screen on revealing the time (9:48) and her phone wallpaper.

"Who's that?" You asked with a nod toward Jisoo's phone.

Jisoo hesitated again, this time it seems like she's really battling with herself.

"...My daughter. Lia." And there it is. A flash of disappointment fluttered across your face momentarily.

"Oh. You're mated?" It was odd. Normally, you could simply tell by smell if someone was mated. You didn't know how to explain it, but biology was weird. Basically, Jisoo didn't smell mated. You took a step away. If she was mated, you were probably standing a bit too close to be considered kosher.

"No." Jisoo took a step or two closer. Leaving you a bit closer than you were before. It's simple and leaves you with more questions than answers but you doesn't ask any of them.

Eventually, Jisoo took pity on you.

"The result of a one night stand. I thought the hangover I had to deal with the next day was the last thing I had to attribute to her, then 9 months later there's a knock on my door and baby on my doorstep. All pretty dramatic if you ask me."

You listened attentively as Jisoo spoke. You had a feeling she didn't talk about this much to anyone.

"I wouldn't give the kid up for anything, though. She's kind of the reason why we have a roof over our head." Jisoo frowned for a second before taking another sip of her beer.

You studied the alpha for a long moment. Then gasped. "That's where I recognize you from! You have a YouTube channel about parenting. They've shown a couple of your videos in my classes before." You mumbled the last part a bit shyly, realizing you may have been a bit too excited just then.

Jisoo sighed, "Damn. I was hoping I could get away without that coming up."

"Why?"

Jisoo scrunched her nose up and winced. "It's embarrassing."

"I don't think it is. From what I've seen, you're a good mother. And you're helping others. That's nothing to be embarrassed about." You smiled softly and touched a hand to Jisoo's shoulder.

It's then that their isolation is finally broken. Jennie stepped into the kitchen with an odd look on her face. Jisoo shrugged off your hand with a roll of her eyes.

"There you are, Y/N. Lisa was looking for you. What are you doing in here?" Jennie narrowed her eyes at Jisoo slightly, who only shrugged and chugged the rest of her beer.

"I was just cooling down from the rager you're throwing in there." It's slightly sarcastic, and you're not sure where the confidence is coming from, but it's much appreciated. You can practically feel Jisoo's body loosen from its tense state Jennie had caused.

"Ohhkay. Well, don't be a stranger." Jennie walked back into the main room with a confused shake of the head.

"That was weird."

Jisoo only nods slowly, staring down into the empty beer bottle.

"Well, um, I better head out. It was nice meeting you, Jisoo. And thanks for keeping me company."

"Uh, yeah. No problem."

You head for the exit, but stop suddenly, "Oh, and Jisoo?"

Jisoo looked up from the bottle, "Yeah?"

"Lia is beautiful. She looks exactly like you." You turned back around without another glance. You slipped out of the front door and towards your car.

[nikki-writes-stuff]

Sweet As Sin - Part One

Summary: After losing your job and having to spend all of your savings, you find yourself completely broke as you desperately search for a job. On a whim, you join a website for sugar babies and sugar daddies can meet, and you’re surprised when you immediately make a connection with Captain America, of all people. But as you grow closer to Steve, you start to realize that there may be a dark side to America’s golden boy. 

Pairing: SugarDaddy!Steve Rogers x Reader, with eventual Dark!Steve Rogers

Read Part Two here!

After reaching a certain point in life, people generally come to the realization that the old adage of “when it rains, it pours” is true. At least, that was what you were thinking as you walked to your car, cheeks still burning with shame from what had just transpired in the grocery store.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but your card was declined. Do you have any other methods of payment?”

The words echoed in your ears as you drove home; of course you didn’t have another method of payment. You hadn’t ever since your job laid you off. You’d been living off of unemployment for a few months now, barely able to afford rent and living off a diet consisting mostly of ramen noodles. What’s more, you’d just had to get your car fixed after someone t-boned you at the intersection across from your house. So now, you didn’t even have any more savings to fall back on. It was even worse than when you’d been in college; back then, there had at least been a goal in mind. Just graduate, you’d told yourself, and then you’ll find a job.

Well, you’d graduated a year ago, and now you were back to where you’d started – broke and desperate.

You slammed the door shut when you entered your apartment, kicking your shoes off before throwing yourself onto the sofa. You lay on your back, looking up at the ceiling as your stomach growled at you.

“Yeah, I’m hungry, too,” you told it. Looks like it was noodles in broth for dinner again, tonight.

Anxiety was constantly clawing at your chest these days, especially now that you were too broke to afford your medication. Later on that evening, you stood over your stove while typing ‘how to make money fast’ into Google. It was a cheap shot, one that you didn’t foresee getting you anywhere, but it was at least something to take your mind off of things while you waited for the water on the stove to heat up.

That was when you saw the add. ‘Finding Arrangements – Where beautiful, successful people find mutually beneficial relationships’ – basically, a website for Sugar Daddies looking for a pretty set of tits to spend money on. You huffed a laugh and scrolled past it, only to return to it a few seconds later.

You chewed on your lip, pondering the link sitting right there on the screen, so engrossed in your thoughts that you jolted when the water started boiling over, sizzling onto the stovetop beneath it. With a curse, you turned down the heat and added the noodles, stirring them in with the seasoning packet as you thought it over. It wouldn’t hurt to check, right? Just a quick glance wouldn’t hurt; if you signed up and didn’t like any of the people you matched with, you could just delete your profile and pretend it never happened.

Your thoughts lingered on the idea as you sat on the couch, still hungry after finishing your meager meal. You’d brought the link up on your laptop, and now you were staring at the site’s homepage. To the right, there was a link to sign up, and to the left, there was a picture of a man in a business suit surrounded by three beautiful women. You gulped, starting to psych yourself out as you stared at the image. But then you closed your eyes and thought about the number in your bank account, and it was enough to motivate you to start typing.

You filled out your personal information and clicked the link the website sent to your email, confirming your new membership. When it came to choose a profile photo, you chose one of yourself from your graduation day. You were standing in your college’s auditorium, wearing a dress made out of gold fabric that was covered with thick black lace; it was your favorite picture of yourself, and you hoped that the dress wasn’t too revealing. It had a high neckline, but it had only come down to about mid-thigh.

You filled out the ‘About Me’ section and then paused when you came to the next question – What are you looking for in a relationship? You thought for a moment, biting your lip and turning over your words before starting to type again.

This is my first time trying out a relationship like this, you wrote. So I would like to find someone who I can trust to guide me through it. In return, I would like to be able to give my (you cringed as you typed the next two words) Sugar Daddy a fulfilling, comfortable relationship in return.

After reviewing your profile, you uploaded it, forcing yourself to sit back from your laptop and breathe. It was out there now; people would see it. Wealthy, presumably powerful people would see it. You closed your computer and hurried to put a movie on, choosing one of your old favorites; it had helped you when you were feeling anxious before.

By the time you finished the movie, you’d mostly calmed down, controlling your nerves until they were just a dull ache in your chest. Before you stood up and went to bed, you checked your phone, eyes bulging when you saw that you already had five replies to your profile.

You opened your notifications, scrolling through the different profiles. Four of them were from men with one of them being from a woman. Your nose wrinkled up when you saw that one of the men were in his 70s, and you quickly deleted his message without even reading it. The next one was in his early 50s, and his profile picture was of him standing in front of a car that looked like it cost more than the entirety of your college tuition. You didn’t delete his message, but you definitely felt dismayed as you skimmed through the rest of them.

You paused, though, when you saw the last one. His profile said that he was 38, making him the youngest of those that had replied to you. His username was Captain_Grant, and his profile only showed his silhouette outlined against a setting sun. The only thing you could see about his features were his defined, slightly-crooked nose and the shadow of a beard against his jawline, but you were more interested in seeing the message he’d sent you.

Good evening, miss. I hope you’re having a nice day. I saw on your profile that you liked to read?

You furrowed your eyebrows, laughing a little. The other ones had pretty much sent you the same thing – “hi”. One of them had had the courtesy of adding a smiley face afterwards, but the fact that this guy had actually taken the time to read your profile made him stand out amongst the rest.

Good evening, you typed back. I do love to read; right now I’m in the middle of a great book.

His reply came only about a minute after you sent your response.

What’s it called?

You typed out the title of the book. After another minute, Captain sent you a picture. You held your breath as you opened the attachment, praying that it wasn’t a dick pic, and you were pleasantly surprised to see a photo of a bookshelf. The book you’d mentioned was resting on it along with a few others by the same author.

I’m a fan of theirs, too, as you can see.

You grinned and got up, taking a quick photo of your own bookshelf and sending it to him. You’d bought it from IKEA years ago, and its thin shelves had started to sag under the weight of all of your books, but you loved it anyways.

You have quite the collection, miss.

You chuckled at how polite he was and sent him a message that he call you by your first name.

‘Miss’ just seems so formal, don’t you think?

I was going more for polite, but I see what you mean. Well, then, you should call me Steve. ‘Captain’ isn’t really formal so much as it’s just weird. …I’ve been told I’m not good at picking out profile names.

You giggled at that; Steve seemed like a dork. But a cute one.

I think your profile name is great, for the record, but I’ll stick with Steve. What made you join this website, Steve?

It took him a few minutes to respond, and you worried for a second that you’d asked something too personal. But as you got ready for bed, you saw that he’d finally responded.

I’m an old fashioned kinda guy, and in the past I’ve been told that I’m a bit too…overbearing in a relationship. But I’ve always believed that a man should take care of the woman he’s with. So a friend of mine suggested this site, and I figured I would try it out. You’re the first girl who I liked enough to send a message to, though.

You smiled at that, feeling warmth bloom in your chest.

What made me different from the rest?

All the other girls on here only talked about what they wanted to get out of a relationship in their profiles. You were the only one who mentioned what she wanted to give.

You felt as if butterflies were flying around your stomach, and your thumbs started typing of their own accord.

Do you think we could meet sometime? Maybe grab a cup of coffee?

I would love to, doll. I’m out of the country right now, but I get back in a week. How about we meet up then? Your profile said you live in Brooklyn; is that right?

It sure is; I’ve lived here ever since I finished college.

You’re a girl after my own heart; I grew up in Brooklyn. There’s a bagel shop that also serves coffee that I highly recommend. We could meet there if you’re up for it.

You didn’t even think before you answered him back.

I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

________

Over the next three days, you and Steve messaged each other as much as possible. He was so easy to talk to; you’d almost forgotten about the financial element of your relationship. During the day, when he was busy with work, you found yourself missing him. Right around the evening, you would start jumping for your phone any time it buzzed, and your heart would sink with disappointment when it wasn’t Steve.

You were on such a high from meeting Steve that you’d forgotten all about the things that were causing you anxiety. That was, until your landlord sent you an email talking about how rent was going to be raised an extra $50 each month. The news had washed over you like a bucket of iced water, sending you into the worst panic attack you’d had since college.

You’d spent the next few hours either pacing across your living room or crying in bed, curled up as that same feeling of helplessness that had haunted you for the past few months settled over you heavily. You hadn’t even realized that your phone was buzzing. At least, not until the fifth or sixth buzz. Wiping away your tears, you pulled your phone out of your pocket and opened it up, seeing several missed messages from Steve.

Hey, doll, just got done with work for the day.

How was your day?

You ok, doll? You’re usually around by now.

Are you ok?

I’m sorry for hovering, I’m just worried about you.

You there?

You felt guilt settle over you as you began to type with trembling fingers.

I’m so sorry, Steve. I just had a really rough day; I didn’t even realize that my phone was going off.

His reply was instantaneous.

God, you scared me, doll. Are you alright? What happened?

My landlord raised the rent by an entire $50. Rent is due by the end of the week, and I have no idea how to come up with the money.

You sniffled and waited for him to reply, and when he did you felt you felt your tears subside for a brief moment.

Is that all? That’s why I’m here, hon. Do you have a PayPal?

Steve… Are you sure? This is so much.

You could almost hear his laughter in his next reply.

Doll, I promise that $50 is NOT a lot to me. Besides, that’s part of this whole thing, isn’t it? Me taking care of you?

But I haven’t done anything for you in return…

He waited a few more minutes before responding.

Well… What if you did something for me tonight? Would that make you feel better?

Your felt your heart start to beat faster at his words, wondering what he would have you do.

What do you have in mind? you replied, trying to keep your words neutral.

Give me your phone number and let me call you?

Your breath puffed out at such a simple response, and you sent him your number without a second thought.

A few seconds later, your phone began to came, and unknown number appearing on your screen. You took a deep breath, feeling your heartrate skyrocket once more; you’d only known him for a few days, and yet a simple phone call from him was enough to make you feel breathless.

You fumbled with your phone, accepting the call and hesitantly raising it up to your ear.

“Hello?”

“Hey, doll. It’s Steve. Although… Well, that was probably obvious, right?”

Your laugh sounded more like a hiccup, and you cringed at the sound, trying to blink away the tears that were still trying to escape.

“Hi, Steve,” was all you could sigh. “It’s…really good to hear your voice.”

And it really was; it was somehow even better than you’d imagined it – not terribly deep, but warm, so warm that you wish you could curl up and get him to read bedtime stories to you.

“Have you been crying?” he asked, a touch of worry working its way into his voice.

“Oh, um… Yeah,” you sighed. “This whole rent thing has really got me anxious.”

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” he replied. “Can you give me your email address?”

You gave it to him, hearing the typing of a keyboard in the background.

“Thanks, doll. Just give me a minute, ok? I’m still trying to get better with my typing skills.”

You chuckled, picturing him typing with his two pointer fingers, but you still didn’t understand what he was asking you to give him a minute with.

“What are you doing, Steve?” you asked.

“Just wait; I’m almost done.”

After a few more seconds of typing, you felt your phone buzz, and you pulled it away to see that it was an email from PayPal. Your eyes went wide as you opened it, audibly gasping when you saw the message waiting for you when you opened your account. You have $250 waiting to be accepted.

“Steve!” You heard his laugh from the other line, and for a second you were caught off guard; you immediately loved the sound more than you’d loved any other laugh you’d ever encountered.

“This is too much!” you cried out. “I only needed $50! Steve, I’m no mathematician, but you gave me two hundred more than that!”

Steve only laughed again.

“I won’t apologize for taking care of my girl,” he said, making your cheeks heat up at the term of endearment. “You deserve it; you’ve had a rough day. Go out and get a massage, or buy something nice for yourself. Do something that’ll relieve some stress.”

Your eyes went half-lidded for a second at the thought of a massage; you couldn’t remember the last massage you’d gotten. But no; you needed to be smart with your money.

“Well… Thank you, Steve,” you sighed. “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it.”

“Every penny is worth getting to hear your voice,” he murmured. “It’s even prettier than I imagined it.”

“Steve…no…”

“No?”

“You gotta stop saying such nice things. It’s bad enough through text; actually hearing you say them is gonna make me spontaneously combust.”

Steve’s laughed rumbled across the receiver once more.

“Well try your best not to. At least not until we meet face-to-face.”

“Tell me about it. I still don’t know what you look like.”

You could tell by his voice that Steve was smiling when he spoke next.

“What do you imagine I look like?”

You grinned and stretched out in bed, your anxiety from before completely melting away.

“Well… You’re probably tall,” you started. “No… You’re definitely tall. I can tell.”

“Really? What gave it away?”

“You just seem like a tall person.” He chuckled at that, but you kept going on. “I could tell from your profile picture that you have a beard, and I bet you keep it trimmed all nice and neat. And… I’m going to guess that you have brown hair.”

“Well, I’ll be back in three days. There’s only one way for you to find out if you’re right.”

“I know. Still planning on the bagel shop at 9 am sharp, right? On Sunday?”

“Absolutely, doll. It’s a date.”

_______

The next day, you were able to pay your rent early, much to your landlord’s delight. After that, you decided that you would treat yourself to some actual groceries. Having a full shopping cart was a novelty to you; usually, you would load up with a basket containing ramen, maybe some chicken, some eggs, and whatever toiletries you needed. But today, you actually put together a meal plan and a list before going shopping.

Later on that day, you were grinning ear to ear as you put your purchases away in your tiny kitchen. There were green things in your fridge again! And they weren’t mold!

You were cooking a late breakfast for yourself when your phone rang, and you let out an excited squeak when you saw who it was.

“Steve!”

“Wow; someone sounds happy today.”

“I just got back from the grocery store,” you told him. “Thanks to a very wonderful, generous person, I was able to get food! Like, fancy food!”

“Fancy food, huh? What kind of fancy food?”

“Um… Well, I got stuff for salads! And I’m going to make a casserole for dinner. And I have some pasta, some beef, some taco stuff-“

“…Baby, that doesn’t really sound like fancy food. It sounds like regular groceries.”

“Well, it’s fancy compared to what I usually eat,” you pointed out.

“And what is that?”

“…Um…Ramen, mostly. Not that I mind! It’s better than nothing. I’ve got really creative with ramen recipes; it’s a skill I learned in college.”

Steve let out an exasperated sigh.

“That’s gonna have to change,” he asserted. “From now on, I’ll take you grocery shopping once a week, and I want you to get food with actual nutrients in it. Understood?”

You grinned as you flipped the omelet in the pan.

“Only if you let me cook for you sometime,” you bargained. You felt your cheeks heat up when he let out a groan.

“God, I can’t remember the last time I had a home-cooked meal,” he sighed. “I wish I could come back sooner.”

“You can make it for two more days,” you said. “I believe in you.”

“Well, I’m glad someone does.”

The two of you talked until your breakfast was ready, and for the rest of the day you worked on applying for jobs. You kept the news on your tv at a low volume, but later on, while you were cooking your casserole, you heard something about Moscow that made you perk up; Steve had mentioned that he was in Moscow on his business trip.

You hurried to pull the casserole out of the oven and place it on a cooling rack before jogging into the living room and turning up the volume.

“….in Moscow today. It is reported that the small terrorist organization was eliminated by Captain America, Natasha Romanoff, and a group of American agents with them. Luckily, the attempted bombing was stopped before there could be any casualties.”

You watched as the footage cut to Captain America standing in front of a group of reporters, decked out in his uniform with his signature shield strapped to his back. He shifted on his feet, looking out over the room before starting to speak.

“I’m relieved to inform you that the terrorist threat has been eliminated,” he began, and you frowned at how familiar his voice sounded. If you didn’t know any better, then you would think that it was Steve talking to you, your Steve, but you knew the idea was ridiculous. You smiled at the thought; you’d have to ask him later on if anybody else had noticed the similarity.

“The group was small and disorganized, and we believe that they acted independently of any larger organization,” he continued. “Our men and woman, however, are keeping a close eye on any and all other suspicious activity in this and the surrounding countries. For now, we advise you to rest easy, and-“

You muted the tv once more, heading into the kitchen to grab a plate of food. You sat down on your couch and pulled your phone out, dialing Steve’s number. You frowned when you reached his answering machine, but you left a message anyways.

“Hi, Steve! I just saw something on the news about a terrorist group in Moscow… I guess I just wanted to call and make sure you were okay. Just shoot me a text or give me a call when you’re able to. I’ll talk to you soon!”

After that, you ate your food, reveling in having something on your stomach other than the same old noodles. It was while you were wrapping your casserole to put in in the fridge that Steve called you back, and you rushed to answer the phone.

“Hello!”

“Hi, doll,” Steve sighed.

“You sound so tired.”

“Yeah… I guess I am. It was, uh… A rough day at work. But the good news is that I get to come home a day early. Think we could move our date to tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow? You can get here all the way from Moscow tonight?”

“Sure can. I’m on the plane right now.”

“Wow. Talk about company benefits…” Steve chuckled, and you smiled fondly as you closed the fridge. “I worried about you when I heard about the terrorists. Is everything ok? No one you knew got hurt, did they?”

“Nah, we’re fine, doll. But you’re sweet to ask.”

“Well, I saw Captain America talking on the news about it and just wanted to make sure. Hey, have you ever noticed that you sound a lot like him?”

“Uh… You think I sound like Captain America?” Steve seemed flustered, and you grinned as you walked back to your couch.

“Yeah; you guys have practically the same voice,” you grinned. “Crazy coincidence, right? You sound like him; you have the same first name… And did you know that he’s grown a beard since-“

“Hey, doll? The plane is experiencing some turbulence. Would it be ok if I let you go?”

“Oh. Yeah! Sure thing, Steve. But we’re still planning on tomorrow morning?”

“You betcha. I’ll see you at 9, and I’ll text you the address.”

“See you soon!”

With that, he hung up, and a few minutes later you received the text with the address. You sent him back a smiley face before getting ready for bed; you would need to get up early to get ready for your date.

It took you a while to fall asleep that night; your mind wouldn’t shut off. Over and over again, it would play possible scenarios of how meeting Steve might go – about what he would look like, what you two would talk about. Eventually, though, you were able to fall into a peaceful slumber, and even your dreams seemed happy that night.

______

You surveyed yourself in the mirror, looking for any imperfections that needed to be sorted out before you left. You’d somehow wrangled your hair into a nice-looking style, although you were pretty sure you’d killed half of the remaining ozone layer with how much hair spray you’d had to use to keep it that way. You were wearing a red set of leggings with an oversized, cream-colored sweater overtop it; despite the fact that the clothes were old, they still looked good, and you hated the fact that you didn’t have better shoes to complete the ensemble. You pulled on your black high-top Converse, deciding that they were the best looking pair of shoes you had, and you checked yourself out in the mirror one more time before walking out the door.

The bagel shop was only fifteen minutes away from where you lived, but the drive seemed to last for fifteen seconds and fifteen eternities all at once. You tried in vain to calm the frantic beating of your heart, but it was still pounding by the time you pulled up in front of the restaurant. You took a short moment to calm yourself, letting out a deep breath before getting out of your car.

You tried to walk with confidence as you walked into the bagel shop, inhaling the scent of baked bread, cinnamon, and coffee that lay heavy in the air. The walls inside were painted a bright, sky blue, and black-and-white sketches were hanging on the walls. The entire wall behind the display case had been turned into a chalkboard, and the various menu items were written across it in neat cursive font. One of your favorite songs from the 60’s was playing over the radio, and you smiled; you already knew that this place would become one of your regular hang outs.

At the moment, though, your eyes were scanning the shop for Steve. All you knew about him was that he had a beard; that is, if he hadn’t shaved it since taking his profile picture. There were only a few people dotted around the room, and most of them were with someone else. In fact, there were only two people there who were sitting alone. One of them was sitting at a nearby table, and he was a man who looked to be in his late 50’s; you hoped to God that he wasn’t Steve.

The only other person there was sitting at a table in the far corner, and he had his back to you. His hair was blonde and slicked back neatly, and his shoulders were incredibly broad. Letting out a sigh, you started walking towards him, wringing your hands as you grew nearer.

“Steve?” you finally asked when you were close, and you saw him straighten up.

When he turned around to face you, though, your eyes grew wide and your lips parted in surprise. There had to be some mistake; this couldn’t be him.

“I… I’m sorry,” you stuttered. “I’m here to meet, um…”

Captain America, or rather, Steve gave you a soft, sheepish smile, and he stood up to face you.

“Hey, doll,” he sighed.

“…I can explain.”

[cecilspeaks]

Episode 106 - Filings

Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near? Tell me more about your special bird powers. Welcome to Night Vale. 

It’s been a long couple of weeks, as the city-wide emergency sirens that signal illegal public acknowledgement of angels have been blaring almost nonstop. But in spite of these archaic laws, I’ve been shouting “You’re an angel!” at beings who look like angels and then making my most friendly finger-pointing gesture.

The beings who call themselves angels because… that’s what they are, have begun filing the paperwork for official existence. The angels are still at the Hall of Public Records downtown waiting in line. They have made it to the front of line three different times, but each time, they were told they were missing a key form of ID or pre-application paperwork, or that the cameras could not record their image. They weren’t told his using words, the Records Hall clerk just stabbed their paperwork repeatedly with scissors and then got a massive nosebleed, which is how they know their application was declined.

Other citizens waiting have grown restless. As they do not acknowledge the existence of angels, the next person in line keeps walking up to a seemingly empty window, only to be brushed away by a clerk, or an angel. These citizens have begun shouting and crumbling and curling into little balls and sobbing, as large glowing cracks appear in the ceiling.

It’s been several days of waiting in line for the angels. We’ll check back in on them soon.

Oh, I have a new intern, listeners. He’s a fine-looking young man with a beautiful voice, I think he’ll have a great future in radio. I’ve been trying to ask him his name or who hired him. I certainly don’t remember beginning the search for a new intern, he just appeared this morning and started working without a single word. Which is the most professional behavior for anyone beginning a new job. Well, he seems hard at work, even if every time I address him he doesn’t notice me. It’s great having a competent replacement for Kareem, even if I have no idea how this new intern got here and who he is. As long as the filing is getting done.

Alondra Ortiz, daughter of Josefina Ortiz who passed away last month, has carried on her fight against the angels. The angels are claiming ownership of Old Woman Josie’s estate, since they lives with her and helped her build the many artistic monuments and cultural foundations around town. Alondra said she doesn’t care if angels are acknowledged or not. If they want to be recognized, fine, but Alondra and her lawyer, Emilio Tavarez have filed motions to maintain ownership of Alondra’s mother’s home, belongings, money, and memories. Just because a bunch of imaginary tall people with wings helped Josie change the lightbulbs from time to time, Tavarez said, that’s no reason they are considered next of kin. Tavarez told judge Siobhan Azdaq: “If they don’t exist, we must get kissed.” Judge Azdaq replied: “Emilio, it’s been four years. I’m remarried. We’re done, OK?”

The angels have hired five-headed dragon Miriam Adelman as their counsel, who issued a literally scathing response. Alondra is now suing Adelman and her team for medical bills resulting from second degree burns. Alondra has already put Josie’s home up for sale. She is willing to offer rebates for pre-existing damage, such as a series of large glowing slits in the walls that lead to rooms that aren’t… possible, according to the official floor plan, nor the laws of physics. These rooms range from a 17th century ball room to a crow’s nest on a modern nazy destroyer to the space shuttle. Plus, anachronistic people keep wandering in and out of these portals. She added, “On second thought, since the house has more usable square footage than originally anticipated, and because there appear to be current renters”, she’s raising the sale price.

So I just sent my new intern to go pick up some lunch. Or at least I said, “Excuse me young man whose name I don’t know yet who I only think works here, can you go grab me a cobb salad with extra whipped cream and pencil shavings from the Missing Frog Salad Bar? He didn’t say yes, nor did he ever seem to see or hear me, but he did look really frightened and ran from the room crying, which was such a polite and respectful gesture to his superior. What a nice young man. Dresses kind of weird though, so early 80’s, with his double Windsor striped tie, polyester coat and aviator goggles, just like we all wore back in the day. I supposed most things eventually come back in fashion. Well, I can only assume he heard my lunch order. I’m starving.

Faceless Old Woman: You’re starving? Try not having a mouth.

Cecil: Oh my god, you scared me. [chuckles] Listeners, we have an unplanned visit from the Faceless Old Woman who secretly lives in your home. Or I guess in this case, your radio studio while you’re still on the air.

FOW: Cecil, we need to talk about the Distant Prince.

Cecil: Few dare to speak at him, so as not to draw his attention. What do you know?

FOW: His harbingers are here. They are prepared to announce his arrival with their long, toothy beaks. They’re stomach-eyes see all. They’ve been rehearsing this announcement in their room at the Hampton Inn  on Route 800. They’ve been writing and rewriting their grand pronouncement and teaching it to the court shriekers to shriek out to all of Night Vale.

Cecil: What does that mean?

FOW: What, “shriek”? It’s like a painful yell. Like this: [disturbing scream] Meanwhile, the mangled servants are gathering the ears of important Night Vale politicians.

Cecil: Gross.

FOW: Right? And they will sew the ears onto the walls of the Hampton Inn continental breakfast bar and use them as portals into many dimensions at once. Their plan is to destroy time itself and collapse Night Vale into a dead singularity.

Cecil: Why do they want to do this?

FOW: It was suggested to him by a nice young woman from out of town.

Cecil: What young woman?

FOW: She.. she.. [music distorts, evil voice] The woman from Italy brings fun and jest, consuming all souls until none are left. Distant Prince and she plan the terrible plot: destroying all that is until all is not. I met her in dreams and found a dear friend, a woman a mortal mind can’t comprehend. No guard controls her, no physics can hold her, she’ll set the world on fire but leave you all colder. [music distorts back to normal] Yeah, she and I are best friends now. She’s a lot of fun, really good poet. I gotta go. Steve Carlsberg is back home, and I wanna stand behind him in the mirror when he bends down to wash his face. His shrieks are the funniest.

Cecil: Oh aha hahaha, dumb old Steve! Be nice, OK?

We are getting reports that a dense fog is now pouring from a giant glowing slash in the sky above the Rec Center. Some pteranodons have flown out of it, as well as a commercial airliner. And those who entered the fog reported hearing shouts, blood-curdling streams, and even the echo of drums. But there’s also the Battle of the Bands sound check happening right now at the Rec Center, so it’s probably just that. Either way, keep a close eye out for these apparent tears in the fabric of our reality. Also, go check out the Battle of the Bands. I think Diane Crayton’s son Josh and his boyfriend Grant are organizing that event.

And now a word from our sponsors. Today’s show is brought to by a grey pigeon, whispering to you from your neighbor’s backyard. The pigeon – his name is Alfonso – is telling you that you are the one true God. [serene voice] And that he wants you to bring it a body part. A human body part. Doesn’t matter which part. Just do it. [ominously] Soon. [serenely] “Time’s almost gone. The Bible was wrong,” the pigeon added, suddenly from your right shoulder. “There never was a beginning.” This has been a word from our sponsors.

Reports continue from the last few weeks of people all over Night Vale experiencing false realities. The most believable visions are those of tall winged beings roaming the streets and asking to borrow 10 bucks. City Council is issuing daily press releases, claiming the existence of angels is impossible and illegal. City Council is threatening to no longer speak to anyone who acknowledges the so-called angels. “You are uninvited to our birthday party,” today’s press release reads. “Too bad, there will be karaoke and minigolf. Your loss, angel acknowledger!”

A series of fissures in reality have begun to open up, revealing truths that should never have existed. Like the 12th century Scottish castle sitting atop the stables over on Galloway. Frances Donaldson at the Antiques Mall reports suddenly knowing how to play the piano, when before she only knew how to play keyboard. Larry Leroy out on the edge of town came home to find his wife, Chrysette, mowing the lawn. But he was never married. He last saw Chrysette in high school, when they were both in the lurching band together. And fired chief Ramona Encarnacion said she found a rock in the shape of Harry Styles’ liver. “I don’t know how Harry is getting by without his liver,” Incarnassian said. “Or given how much mud was on this thing, how he was ever getting by with it.”

Night Vale, beware the untruths which attempt to dismantle our town. Stay vigilent, read your journals, look at your photographs. Do your best to remember what is real.

Oh man, speaking of real, I’m real hungry. I wish my intern would get back soon with my salad. It’s been forever since he… Oh, wait. He left his wallet behind. Well, strike one, new intern. How are you supposed to buy lunch if you don’t take any money? Hope he has some cash in his pockets.

I’ll be so annoyed if lunch is late. Ah, this is a pretty nice wallet. Trifold, ooh photo pages, human leather, money clip. I used to have one just like this. maybe let’s find out more about you, kiddo. Let’s see. Bowling league card. Ooh, I love bowling. Young reporter’s league membership. Wow, it’s after my own heart. Photos of him with a young man he could probably be related to and, is that my… who are you? Where’s your driver’s license? Oh God. This can’t.. this can’t be. This here... just…

Uh, OK, here’s the weather while I sort this out.

[“All or Nothing” by the Dream Masons]

My new intern never made it back. He never left, or maybe, was never hear at all. Or maybe still is here after all these years.

After finding his… my… ID in his wallet, I ran out after him. But before I even got out of the building, I found him in the restroom. The door was slightly cracked and the light was on. I heard a voice, a familiar young voice. “Leonard said if I work hard, maybe I’ll be a radio presenter myself some day,” said the voice. I was so frightened but still I looked into the washroom, and he was standing in front of a mirror looking right at himself. I never look into those things, or at least I haven’t in a long time.

“I think the radio station is fun,” he said. “I think the radio station is hidden. I think the radio station is like a dark planet lit by no sun. I think, therefore I soon won’t be,” he said. I wanted to cry out to warn him. My mother told me to stay away from mirrors, and I knew he was in danger. I opened my mouth and tried to step in the room, but I could not speak, could not move forward.

“I’m looking in the mirror,” he said. “The mirror is not covered,” he said. “Stop! Don’t look into the mirror!” I tried to say, but nothing came out of my mind, only spit and inaudible wheeze. Tears stung my eyes. I waved frantically, trying to catch his attention.

“The flickering movement is just behind me,” he said, and then he looked right at me in the mirror. His eyes grew wide and wet. He said, “I…” He said again, “I…” and then he choked. Then he screamed, then I screamed, only again no sound came out. He fell to the floor, and for a moment, I remembered. I remembered blue lights and blood in my throat, and the dark planet lit by no sun and then I forgot it. Or at least what it looked like or, only that it was, or never was or it still is.  

His wallet was no longer in my studio, his… my… driver’s license was no longer in my hand, my familiar teenage intern was no longer lying on the ground. The mirror he was looking into is now shattered into thousands of intersecting cracks like parched desert dirt.

I approached the mirror, hoping to see a face I knew: a young man’s face I just barely remember. But I only saw a multiplicity of me, a man divided, unrecognizably under razor-sharp grounds, and behind me a glowing slash in the bathroom wall. When I turned, the whole in reality was gone. Only plain gray subway tiles.

I don’t know what is real. Myself as a younger intern, the Woman from Italy, these holes in reality. Harry Stiles’ liver. Harry Stiles. Are any of these things real?

One thing I know is real were the angels. After hours of waiting in line, their paperwork has been officially filed, with the Hall of Public Records, and a hearing date scheduled sometime between the last Friday of this month, and the last Friday of 2023.

Night Vale. Reality is failing us. And strange forces are gathering. The Distant Prince, the Woman from Italy. The dragons. Huntokar.

I don’t know what we can do to save a failing reality, I only know, uh… We can make real that which we acknowledge and accept. Angels are real, Night Vale. The actuality of people we rarely see or interact with may seem unimportant as fissures in our world, threatening to collapse anything we know but – if you see an angel, tell them you see them. Tell them they are real. Point at them and shout: “You’re. An. Angel!” we can only make real what we accept as real,. Tell them, OK?

Good night, Night Vale, Good night.

Today’s proverb: Good things come to those who wait. Good things come slithering down the unctuous brown stone walls to those who wait alone in the dark pit.

[pastordorry-blog]

Balancing Accountability and Grace

Acts 4:32-5:11

Summer Series on Acts Week 5

July 7, 2019

         There are stories that end with, “And they all lived happily ever after.”  This is not one of those stories!  And it’s not just Ananias and Sapphira who die.  Acts chapter 5 marks a change in the book of Acts. Things in the early church were perfect for a time; and then something happened that would explain why things are not perfect for the rest of time.  It’s a little like how in the book of Genesis, everything is perfect until Adam and Eve eat from the forbidden tree—and all of sudden, that paradise teeming with life becomes a place where there is death.  The start of the Christian church has a parallel beginning. At the end of chapter four, Luke sums things up:   the early church is like the Garden of Eden at first.  Everything is perfect.  No one has any need.  People are coming to Christ and selling off their possessions, resulting in a Christian utopia.  All for one and one for all!

         But this utopia will not last.  Sin will change things, and on some level, sin always leads to death.  This week we will see how sin sometimes leads to the death of the sinner.  And next week we will talk about Stephen, and see how sin sometimes leads to the death of innocent victims. And every week for the rest of the summer, we will see how sin led to the death of the extraordinary sharing and perfection of the early church. Read it for yourself and see if you can find a place after Acts 5 where someone sells their property and the whole Christian community lives together in exquisite communion.  

To help us see the change, Luke employs the old “compare and contrast” technique.  In chapter four, he mentions a Levite named Joseph, who was so inspired by the early church and its radical caring that he sold a field he owned and brought all the money and put it at the apostles’ feet.  He was such a helpful person that the apostles gave him a new name: Barnabas, which means "son of encouragement."  Barnabas went on to do great things in the church.  We will read more about him later in Acts.

But right after Barnabus, Luke shifts gears and tells us about Ananias and Sapphira.  They sold a piece of property, and instead of laying all the money at the disciples’ feet like Barnabas, they withheld some for themselves.  And, instead of going on to do great things in the church, they were killed.

This story is incomprehensible to us.  Imagine if a husband and wife in our day sold their home and gave most of the proceeds to the church?  We'd be jumping up and down.  Say you sell your house for $150,000, and you give 2/3 to the church.  So you keep $50,000 for yourself.  Who cares?  You're still giving the church $100K!  That is a very generous gift. We would not know what to do with all that money if someone gave us a gift like that.  Not that we wouldn't figure it out, mind you.  That is one problem we would work on until we had it solved, that is for sure!

         But in the early church, there was a problem with Ananias and Sapphira's gift. People don't just drop dead on the spot for nothing.  For one thing, they seemed to miss the point of selling the property.  All for one and one for all only works if everyone puts in their all.  It's like the Hokey Pokey--you can put in an arm or a leg, but eventually you gotta put your whole self in.  Perhaps Ananias and Sapphira were hedging their bets to see if this church thing worked out.

         But in the meantime, they wanted it to appear as if they were all in.  I think that is the big issue here.  They lied to the church about the money.  They wanted to appear more generous and faithful than they really were.  They missed the memo, that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.  Ananias and Sapphira thought they were pulling one over on a bunch of people. But really they were lying to God. The church isn’t just a human organization.  It is the body of Christ.  There was more at stake here than they realized.

Okay, fine we say, it’s important not to lie to God. But did they really have to die?  Why not give Ananias and Sapphira a warning and a chance to repent?  Exactly one year ago—it was July 8, 2018--I stood before you and preached my first sermon at Lima.  In those early weeks together, we talked a lot about grace.  We learned about prevenient grace, this Wesleyan idea that the Holy Spirit is always out ahead of us, planting seeds, lubricating pathways, always at work for good, showering people with grace to help prepare them to receive Christ.  We talked about justifying grace, which puts us right with God.  When we receive Christ, it’s like we walk through the door to a new way of living, which we call the Christian life.  That is why there is a third kind of grace, sanctifying grace, which helps us learn and grow.  It carries us up the staircase toward maturity and fruitfulness.  Prevenient, justifying, and sanctifying grace.  Grace is the bedrock of our faith.  Which one of those kinds of grace would you say is at work in the story of Ananias and Sapphira?  It doesn’t seem to me that there is any grace in this story at all!

I think Luke gives us this story to illustrate how, because the church is made up of real people and lives in the real world, in addition to grace it will also have to be an agent of accountability.  The Church is the Body of Christ and thus is called to be holy!  Which is tricky because the people who make up the Church are sinners.  Throughout its entire history, and for as long as the Church shall live, it will have to wrestle with balancing grace and accountability. What should it do when people within the church family resist sanctification and allow sin to manifest itself?  What should we do with the unholy in our midst?

This is a hard question for us even now, even with 2,000 years of Church history and tradition under our belts.  This is hard question for us even now as United Methodists, with our 898-page Book of Discipline.  You’d think with a rule book that big there would be no more gray areas. But real life is complicated.  I have a clergy colleague who asked me for advice one time, because a young woman in the church was stealing money from people’s purses.  It took time to figure out who the thief was in the congregation, but now there were two separate eyewitnesses who weren’t sure what to do with what they say, so they went to the pastor.  The pastor knew this behavior could not go on unchallenged.  The thief would have to be held accountable. But the thief was the daughter of the choir director, who had been a member of the church for forty years and whose extended family and close friends made up about a fourth of the membership.  How could they be fair, firm—and diplomatic???.  

For whatever reason, God was not worried about being diplomatic or fair with Ananias and Sapphira.  They were struck dead for a pretty common sin, hypocrisy. We don’t know why, and that bothers us. But there’s something that bothers me even more.  Even if Ananias’ death was not preventable, what about Sapphira?  I am really upset that no one went out and found Sapphira and warned her. Luke tells that “great fear seized all who heard about Ananias”.  Maybe they were so afraid they were paralyzed.  We are supposed to love our neighbors as ourselves.  I know I’d appreciate it if someone gave me a heads up if I was about to get into big trouble.  Wouldn’t it be loving to go and find Sapphira and give her a chance to tell the truth? Maybe people too stunned to talk to her.  Or maybe they thought they should mind their own business.  We don’t know exactly what happened in those three hours between Ananias dying and Sapphira dying.  But we do know that, for the first time, death marred the new Christian community. And it seems to me that, metaphorically, sin has been causing “death” in the church ever since.

But I can’t be too hard on the people for not confronting Sapphira, because I am afraid of confrontation, too.  A few weeks ago, I went out to run a few errands on Sunday afternoon.  My first stop was the Lima post office, where I slid some bills and cards into the blue mailbox.  As I was walking back to my car, I noticed a man come out of the Lima Beverage, pull a beer from the case he just purchased, get in his car, and as he sat in the drivers’ seat, drink half a bottle of beer in one gulp.  He then put the bottle in his cup holder, buckled his seat belt, and drove away.  

It was a warm day but not hot, so we both had our car windows open.  I remember thinking to myself, should I walk over to him and say, hey, you can’t go around drinking and driving!  I remember thinking to myself, maybe I should call 911.  I remember thinking to myself, “But Dorry, you are on your way to do some shopping on a Sunday, and you are supposed to be observing the Sabbath!  Get the log out of your own eye before worrying about the speck in someone else’s!”  And I also remember thinking, “What is going on in his life that on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, he is in so much pain that he has to have half a beer right this second, he can’t even wait the five minutes until he gets home?”  

I had never seen that man before.  I had no personal responsibility to him, but I do have a responsibility to my community, so I prayed that he would get home safely and not injure himself or anyone else on the way home.  But it left me feeling powerless and sad.  Even if that man’s “sin” didn’t lead to any kind of harm or death as he drove home, witnessing it made me die a little inside.  I think this is our human condition.  Reading the book of Acts, it blows my mind that people were willing to sell their land and give all the money to the church—but not a single person was willing to go and tell Sapphira to get her act together.  It just goes to show, holding each other accountable is the hardest thing we have to do in church.

But look at the consequences if we don’t.  When sin persists, there is always some kind of death!  Last week, when we read about how Peter and John were called out by the authorities for healing the lame man, they were very clear in saying that is wasn’t their power that healed the man, it was God’s power.  It was the name of Jesus that healed him.  But in our story today, Luke never says whose power killed Ananias and Sapphira. It’s hard to imagine they were killed by God’s power, because we trust God to always use God’s power for good. It’s hard to image them being killed by the apostles.  We all know that expression, “If looks could kill”, but I don’t think any of us believe there is a dirty look in the world dirty enough to kill someone!  

I think Luke never names the power that killed Ananias and Sapphira because there is no need to name it.  When we separate ourselves from God, a kind of death occurs. Death is never God’s intentional will—but it is the natural consequence of violating God’s will.  “The wages of sin is death”, the apostle Paul would later write.  Every one of us, we can name ways our sinfulness has hurt the church.  We have not always trusted.  We have not always tithed.  We have wanted to appear better than we are.  We have not always done what is right.  We have not always been courageous.  Our sins have hurt the church.  We have sinned and been sinned against.  This is the truth.  I started this sermon by saying, “There are stories that end with everyone lives happily ever after.  This is not one of those stories.”  The Church has suffered and died both literally and metaphorically from sin from its earliest days.  

And yet the church survives and thrives.  That is, I think, where the grace is in this story. The church is God’s agency for life. It is not just another human organization.  It is the Body of Christ, drawn together and held together by the Spirit of the Living God!  And because of that, the church is resilient.  The church marches on.  We are here today in this church, Christians are gathered everywhere on this day, as a living testament to God’s amazing grace.  

As we come to the table today, let us do so with praise and thanksgiving for the Prevenient Grace that drew us here, the Justifying Grace that forgives and restores us, and the Sanctifying grace, that is working in us and moving us toward perfection.  In the name of Jesus and for his sake, Amen.

[markssailingthecrisscolfership]

DIYShowOff Fab and over 40 Favorite: Savvy Minerals MakeUp

“Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.” ~Coco Chanel

A little detour from DIY home improvement and decorating today as I share a little about one of my new favorite things!  It’s a tad long but very informative and if you wear makeup, please take a minute to scroll through! 

“26 seconds after exposure, chemicals are found in measurable amounts in the human body. The average woman applies 300 chemicals to her body a day – 80 before breakfast.”

I still hardly recognize my new round, fuller…mature face in selfies! lol! But hey, I am loving the new Savvy Minerals makeup collection! {Beware: unedited photos! lol}

Our skin is our largest organ and what we put on it matters, including makeup! All of those chemicals over time are going to catch up with us. Time to ditch the toxins in your makeup bag and get your game on because this was Made. For. You!

I’m wearing:

Warm 2 foundation I Do Believe You’re Blushing blush Eyeshadow: Inspired and Residual Jet Setter eyeliner and Determined Eyeshadow (brows) Lipstick: Daydream Lipgloss: Embrace

As I work to rid the chemicals and toxins from my home, one area that I kept putting off was my makeup bag and I knew the facts: Skin is my body’s largest organ. The stats: the average woman applies 300 chemicals to her skin per day, 80 before breakfast. Yikes! But man, I’m the type to not leave the house without makeup. I’m just not that confident in my “natural” beauty. It feels more “natural: scary to all the people to me. 

Get your Savvy Minerals makeup collection —> HERE!

Last summer I attended the Young Living convention and got to see the Savvy Minerals makeup line first hand. I ordered a few pieces at a time and despite my initial hesitation at applying mineral makeup, I have grown to love (no… LOVE in capital letters!) my Savvy Minerals makeup collection. 

Now, I am (ahem) over 40 with imperfect skin, occasional breakouts (darn you, wacky hormones!), dark circles (thanks thin skin gene) and a few sun spots. Not to mention I’m now looking at a few wrinkles as well. I really didn’t think mineral (powder) makeup was for me. It sounded awfully drying and cake-y! Right? Well, I was wrong! 

It’s been about 8 months now and I have to tell you, I wake up and before I head downstairs, I brush my teeth and apply my makeup. It feels good! I did a quick video on my routine. It takes me about 10 minutes from start to finish. 

Get your Savvy Minerals makeup collection —> HERE!

There was a little bit of a learning curve, a little adjustment to go from hiding behind a thick chemical mask of makeup to a pretty natural non toxic application that feels like I’m wearing nothing but I’m SO pleased this this stuff! It’s not difficult! It’s just different! It’s not air brushed/photoshopped/fake looking. It’s real and natural and I don’t know – you really have to experience it to understand. But if you’ve been looking for a makeup without the toxic ingredients, if you have sensitive skin, if you’re embracing a chemical free lifestyle and making healthier choices (and even if none of that applies to you) – THEN Savvy Minerals is worth a shot because what we apply to our skin is absorbed and ingredients DO matter.

Happy to know: Savvy Minerals are not tested on animals. 

And ladies, just taking this baby step with me makes me feel like we’re changing the world! Let’s do this! Doesn’t it make you so angry that there are even ALLOWED to be harmful ingredients in products we use and apply to our bodies?! It should!

(Any info on a chemical free hair dye for those grays?! lol) 

Savvy Minerals are free from harsh toxins, nano particles, paraben, gluten, fillers, talc and so much more! Wellness never looked so good!

Get your Savvy Minerals makeup collection —> HERE!

Here’s a little more info about the Savvy Minerals makeup collection: 

Ingredients matter: What’s not in Savvy Minerals makeup?

What IS in Savvy Minerals makeup?

Ingredients like: Kaolin clay, jojoba oil, mica, aloe, pure essential oils, aspen bark extract, arrow root powder, sweet almond oil, beeswax, sunflower oil, vitamin E.

Young Living not only chose not to put the common “yuck” ingredients inside our makeup, they chose to put the GOOD stuff in there so we can actually have benefits to wearing Savvy Minerals! Check out some of these benefits! No wonder several people have reported calmer, smoother, less irritated skin after wearing Savvy Minerals for a few days!

Want to hear a cool fact about Aspen Bark? Check this out! Not only does Aspen Bark have skin softening properties but it is a natural preservative allowing us to use it instead of those nasty parabens!

Lip Gloss is so trendy right now. Let’s talk about a few things – Did you know that the brighter the color and the longer the wear, the more toxins may be in the formula? And what about those lip glosses that are slick and oily feeling? You can attribute that to the petrochemicals. What?! We lick our lips, eat our food, and sip our drinks all while wearing the stuff. Why would I ever apply anything but the cleanest, more pure ingredients to my MOUTH? Savvy Minerals is made with natural ingredients that you can feel good about licking!

These lip glosses also contain pure peppermint essential oil which gives you a fun little tingle. Wear these alone or layered over your favorite Savvy Mineral lipstick.

What exactly is misting spray? You can see from these benefits that your skin will crave this stuff and you’ll get a better coverage and longer wear from your Savvy Minerals Makeup.

And now you can actually get the Savvy Minerals premium starter kit – an entire collection for just $150! It includes:

1 foundation

1 foundation brush

1 blush

3 eye shadows – Eye shadows are one of the most fun tools in your makeup bag. Savvy Minerals offers a couple of matte as well as shimmery choices for your eyes. Unlike other brands, the shimmery colors are very forgiving on mature skin (ahem). You must give them a try! Apply a little shadow for a natural look or build the color for a more dramatic look, utilize the misting spray for a bolder look. 

1 misting spray

1 5 ml lavender essential oil – supports all things healthy skin (and it’s relaxing and calming too!)

1 lipgloss!

Isn’t that an amazing deal?! Of course you also get:

the wholesale membership which means you have lifetime access to wholesale prices with no further obligations. No yearly fees, etc. No need to cancel anything, no automatic charges to your credit card. No products you didn’t order showing up at your doorstep. NO obligations to sell. I think it’s just like my membership to Sam’s Club but lifetime instead of yearly. Both give me access to shop! That’s it. 

but…Your girlfriends are going to want in on this secret as well, so when you are a member, you have the option (OPTIONAL) to have them get Savvy Minerals using YOUR member# as enroller/sponsor! Again, you do NOT have to sell. Sharing is optional. 

You get pretty excited about makeup or be a makeup enthusiast and you already know you want to share Savvy Minerals with all of your friends. You can totally get your makeup paid for or earn money on the side. Some people have even made Young Living a full time career. The Young Living Compensation Plan is the most generous in all of direct selling and network marketing. You can go here to look at the Income Disclosure Statement to see some of the average monthly paychecks people are getting. Just an FYI, I’m a Young Living Silver leader. I did earn a free trip to the Young Living lavender farm too! It’s amazing!

Get your Savvy Minerals makeup collection —> HERE!

Okay, So there are 4 kits to choose from:

Cool #2

Warm #2 (this is me and I LOVE these colors!) The unscripted is perfect for green eyes and the embrace lip gloss is a shimmery nude shade. 

Dark #1

Dark #4

When you purchase your Savvy Minerals makeup collection using enroller/sponsor #1836762 at YoungLiving.com, I also send you a DIYShowOff welcome bundle directly from me to you that includes:

  $20 product credit

cute makeup bag

my favorite educational resources

AND you have access to our online community – NEW friends! Yay! 

Are you warm or cool?

If you are undecided if you are Warm or Cool, here are some helpful hints from Royal Crown Diamond April Pointer:

1. Check Your Veins — Push your sleeves up and look at the veins on the inside of your wrist. Are they blue or green? If they look more blue, you likely have cool undertones. If the veins look greenish, you’re warm. 2. The Jewelry Trick — Think about whether you look better in silver or gold jewelry Typically, ladies with cool undertones look better in silver and platinum metals, and warm-toned women look better in gold. 3. The Neutral Test — Think about what neutral shades flatter you best. Does your skin, eyes, and face look better in bright white and black hues, or ivory, off-whites, and brown/tan shades? The first means you’re probably cool-toned, and the latter, warm. 4. Eye and Hair Color — Your natural eye and hair colors can help figure out your coloring. Customarily, cool people have eyes that are blue, gray, or green and have blond, brown, or black hair with blue, silver, violet and ash undertones. Conversely, warm-toned women usually have brown, amber, or hazel eyes with strawberry blond, red, brown, or black hair. Their hair tends to have gold, red, orange, or yellow undertones. 5. The Sun’s Effects — When you’re out in the sun, does your skin turn a golden-brown, or does it burn and turn pink first? If you fit into the first category, you’re warm-toned, while cool tones tend to burn.

Still not sure? Here are some more tips from Kathi Glaze Williams: If you know your seasonal colors, then this may help you. Basically, there are light and dark cools and light and dark warms. Light and dark cools are summer and winters. Winters are dark cools and tend to have rich and intense hair and eye colors and look great in bolder shades like black and red. Summers are light cools and look best in pastel shades like rose, periwinkle and sage. Your coloring tends to be more delicate. Autumns are dark warms and look beautiful in the fall colors of moss, rust and terracotta. Think about leaves and spices. Springs are light warms (ME!) Best colors are ones that match our eyes but we love to wear turquoise, watermelon and salmon.

One more tip! Gold is warm and Silver is cool. If you have a piece of fabric, like a shawl, wrap yourself in it and see which one makes you look better. Which color evens out your skin tones and make your eyes stand out?

Do you know what tone you are?

I have a darker sort of olive complexion so I’m ‘warm’.

  Get your Savvy Minerals makeup collection —> HERE!

Ps. Young Living also offers a wide range of skin care products all made with the same standards as our Savvy Minerals Makeup. No matter your skin type or your age, there’s something for everyone, for every face! Two of the must haves when using Savvy Minerals is ART Renewal Serum and ART Light Moisturizer – my absolute favorites! Other products I love: Orange Blossom Face Wash and Boswellia Wrinkle Cream!

Get your Savvy Minerals makeup collection —> HERE!

    from http://ift.tt/2nYbeb4

[recentanimenews]

The Crunchyroll 2017 Holiday Gift Guide

Hello everyone and Season’s Greetings. My name is Peter Fobian, Associate Features Editor. We here at Crunchyroll know how hard it is to plan out holiday shopping for your friends, family, and loved ones, so we wanted to put together a handy gift guide for the anime-inclined! We’ve separated the gifts into several different sections for varying types of anime fans and included options for different budgets. Whether the person you’re shopping for loves Attack on Titan or Sailor Moon, we’ve got something for them on this list. Light up the fireplace, pour yourself a mug of good nog, and enjoy the Crunchyroll 2017 Holiday Gift Guide!

Gifts for the Shonen Fan

Martial arts, powerful psychic abilities, and Earth-shattering fight scenes—if the person you’re buying gifts for loves these things, here’s the section for you! Here are gifts for the people in your life who love shonen.

For fans of Dragon Ball Super, My Hero Academia, Yu Yu Hakusho

$:Dragon Ball VIZBIG Vol 1

Akira Toriyama’s groundbreaking manga set the stage for modern shonen and the international megahit Dragonball Z. A more light-hearted, simpler look at Goku's adventures with Bulma as a child. The VIZBIG editions of the series offer a lot  for your dollar, collecting several volumes in omnibus with plus-size pages!

$$:Kakashi Military Hoodie

Perfect for running with your arms out behind you, the Kakashi Military Hoodie is great for the Naruto fan in your life who has cold arms. This type of gear is my favorite since it can be worn casually or as lowkey cosplay and acts as a conversation starter for fellow fans.

$$$:One Punch Man

Here we have the collected edition of one of the most popular shonen anime of the past few years, including all 12 episodes and 6 OVAs. One Punch Man’s comedy-heavy take on the superhero genre and amazing fight scenes demand blu-ray quality viewing as we all wait for season 2.

Gifts for the Shojo Fan

For fans of Sailor Moon, Blue Spring Ride, Glass Mask

Do you know someone who loves nothing more than love triangles and flurries of cherry blossoms? Does the sight of magical girl transformations make their heart flutter? Well we’ve got the perfect gifts for you to buy them!

$:Sailor Moon Socks

By the power of the moon, these socks will keep your toes warm during the winter. A perfect accessory for Usagi fans and a great way of buying someone socks for the holidays without the usual accompanying disappointment. With several different patterns, no  one will be able to accuse you of using the same socks every day.

$$:CardCaptor Sakura Figure

With the approach of the Clear Card arc after nearly two decades of hiatus, it’s time to start gearing back up with Cardcaptor Sakura merchandise. Although the series is known for its myriad outfits courtesy of Sakura's best friend Tomoyo, nothing look is more iconic than Sakura in her trademark rollerblades.

$$$:Revolutionary Girl Utena

A genre-defining shojo title whose influence has reached well beyond the anime fandom. Revolutionary Girl Utena broke new ground when it aired in the late ’90s, and our friends at Nozomi are giving it a gorgeous box set fit for a prince. This gift is great for diehard fans, people who you know will fall in love with the series (everyone), and the rings make it perfect for finding your own rose bride.

Gifts for the Manga Reader

“Well, the anime was pretty good, but have you read the manga?” Here are some excellent gift choices for people who have always, always read the manga before watching the anime.

For fans who are reading a ton of manga that still haven't gotten anime adaptation.

$:The Promised Neverland

Although The Promised Neverland has been running in Weekly Shonen Jump for over a year, the first volume just made it to print in the United States this month. I won't ruin the twist, but there is more to this cute-looking series than meets the eye. If I had to provide one common title to compare it to I'd maybe say... 20th Century Boys?

  $$:Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind

An influential manga classic, this series was written and illustrated by Hayao Miyazaki himself. The Ghibli movie of the same name only gave you a taste of the greater story which has been collected in this beautiful 2-volume hardback box set. A seminal work and a must-have for manga collectors.

$$$:One Piece volume 1-23 box set

One of the most popular comics in the world, for good reason. One Piece has been running strong for 20 years and just keeps getting better! A perfect balance of action, hijinks, and some of the highest emotional highs of the genre. This set contains the first 23(!!!) volumes of the series and is a great starter pack for anyone looking to build out their collection. More of a briefcase than a box set, it's even got a carrying handle.

Gifts for the Anime Newbie

Anime is more popular than ever before, which means you probably know someone who is just getting started down the rabbit hole of anime fandom. Here are some presents to help you foster the growing anime fan in your life!

For fans who are dipping their toes in

$: Crunchyroll Membership

  Is there any greater gift in the entire world than a Crunchyroll Premium membership? Access to one of the largest anime libraries in the Western hemisphere ad-free and a ton of digital manga—it’s never been easier to get into anime!

$$:Ghibli Bundle - Spirited Away/Princess Mononoke

Ghibli movies are some of the most well known anime to mainstream moviegoers and are responsible for bringing in more than their fair share of dedicated fans. Most of the people I talk to today got their start with either Princess Mononoke or Spirited Away. Now it's easy and affordable to buy them together!

$$$:Your name

Speaking of anime films that made it into the mainstream, Your name has become a global phenomenon and one of the most successful anime features of all time. The opus of science fiction romanticist, Makoto Shinkai is a perfect starting point for blossoming anime fans.

Gifts for the Arthouse Buff

We all have that one friend. You know the one: that person who has an encyclopedic knowledge of anime directors and a top 10 list of shows you’ve never heard of. Well I am that friend, so these gifts are objectively good choices for the arthouse buff in your life!

For fans of Bakemonogatari, The Tatami Galaxy, Yuri Kuma Arashi

$:In This Corner of the World

I'm gonna keep talking about anime films... While it didn’t make the bang that Your name did, In This Corner of the World was one of the best anime films of the same year. A painstakingly researched historic drama five years in the making from industry legend and Santa Claus of anime Masao Maruyama, anyone who loves anime or cinema in general should see this film.

$$:Only Yesterday

Isao Takahata is often overlooked in favor of Hayao Miyazaki, but his directorial work for Ghibli is just as important! Takahata’s 1991 film is a sensitive portrait of a young woman that reaches an impressive level of realism and depth.

$$$:Mob Psycho 100 Limited Edition

From the creator of One Punch Man, Mob Psycho is the Studio BONES given free reign to go wild over the visual medium. This series reached into the far corners of the medium trying out downright experimental animation techniques. It even comes with a spoon to practice your psychic abilities!

Gifts for the Horror Lover

Halloween may be months past, but it’s never a bad time for horror! While these gifts might not be for the faint-of-heart, anyone with a fondness for all things scary will be sure to love them!

For fans of Another, Shiki, Ghost-type Pokémon

$:Happiness

From Suzo Oshimi, the author of Flowers of Evil and Inside Mari, comes a vampire manga that is as horrific as it is beautiful. Tokyo Ghoul fans will find a familiar premise taken in a much darker and introspective direction. 

$$:Tomie

Junji Ito’s works are being collected into beautiful black and white hardback editions and Tomie is one of his most famous, spawning a series of live-action films. This collected edition tells the story of its eponymous character, a mysterious and monstrous beauty.

$$$:When they Cry

Spread across three seasons, When They Cry is a master class in how to do horror right in anime. Suspense and body horror both used to their fullest for the entire series run is now available in one convenient package.

Gifts for the Figure Collector

Anime figures are one of the easiest ways to show your love for a favorite character! This year has seen plenty of great new collectibles, and here are three that are sure to delight the figure fan in your life!

For fans of Figmas, Nendoroids, and everything in between

  $:My Hero Academia Pop! Vinyl Figure

Everyone’s favorite heroes in training plus the symbol of Piece, All-Might, available in Funko Pop! form! Cute, affordable, and, above all else, HEROIC. PLUS ULTRA!!

$$:Breath of the Wild Link Nendoroid

The newest entry in the Legend of Zelda series was hailed by critics and fans as the game of the year when it was first released, and now this version of Link is available as a Nendoroid! Be sure it check out the store page since nendroid never skimps on customizability and accessories!

$$$:Viktor Nikiforov

Yuri’s coach is immortalized in this beautifully realized figure! Viktor’s known for always surprising his fans and your loved one opening a gift to find this figure within will be no exception. A must-have for Yuri!!! on ICE fans. There's also a Yuri version to recreate their duet.

  Gifts for the Gamer

There are anime fans and there are video game fans, but what to buy those who occupy the middle segment of this particular Venn Diagram? Don’t you worry, we’ve got you covered with these gifts that are sure to put please any anime-inclined gamers!

  $:Battle Chef Brigade

Recent digital release for Windows and Nintendo Switch perfect for fans of everything from Food Wars! to Avatar: The Last Airbender. This charming game combines side-scrolling combat with a novel Puzzle Fighter-like cooking system. Hunt monsters and and use their parts to win cooking battles!

$$:Persona 5

One of the greatest videogames of what has turned out to be a stacked year for gaming. Persona 5 did a rare thing by living up to its own hype, delivering one of the most stylish games in recent history, including a great story with attractive characters and fun gameplay.

$$$:Dark Souls the Board Game

It’s the Dark Souls of board games! FROM may be finished with the franchise, but you can invade your friends homes to take on dangerous bosses as a group. It’s all the soul-crushing difficulty of the game except you’ve got a team at your back.

Gifs for the Fashionable Friend

$:All-Might Socks

Your feet are fine now. Why? BECAUSE I’M HERE. AHAHAHAHAHA.

...

Anyways these All-Might socks are really good.

$$:Yuri Katsuki sweatpants

Do you know someone who wants to dress like a professional figure skater while simultaneously harboring a passion for loungewear? These Yuri Katsuki Sweatpants would make a great gift for them! Perfect for lounging around the house and eating pork cutlet bowls.

$$$:Subaru Hoodie

This hoodie is perfect for the person in your life who is willing to try and fail and try again! It’s a gift your loved ones can enjoy again and again… and again… and again...

The holidays are drawing closer but there's still plenty of time to find the perfect gift. As a self-described anime and gift-giving expert, I'm confident this list has just what you need to end the year with a bang and cause the recipients of your gifts to spontaneously start conversations with others about what a great person you are when you're not around. Until next year, good shopping, good buying, and goodbye-ing...

---

Peter Fobian is an Associate Features Editor for Crunchyroll, author of Monthly Mangaka Spotlight, writer for Anime Academy, and contributor at Anime Feminist. You can follow him on Twitter @PeterFobian.

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[biswinedrunk]

Why You Should Definitely Research Direct Sales Companies Before Handing Them Your Money.

Hey Y’all. Brooke Bozarth here, Young Living (YL) Star Member and proud of it. But let me tell you that I have given a lot of toads a lot of money before I found my prince. I am here to tell you about my direct sales (DS) journey and why you should most definitely not do what I did, and how a little bit of research, or the right questions to ask could decide if that company is the right fit for you. 

Before joining YL, I was no newbie to independent consulting (direct sales, they are the same thing). I had grown up watching my mom jump from company to company and my dad supporting her every whim, and even helping in some of them. My family has represented Avon, Stampin Up, AdvoCare, Mary Kay,  and I remember a lot of Pampered Chef and Tupperware but I don’t really know if my mom was a part of them or if she just really loved their products. 

And monkey see, monkey do right? I began my DS journey at a really young age with Usborne Books. I always wanted to work, couldn’t wait to grow up and get a job and who better to sell kids books than a kid. I can’t remember how old I was exactly but I do remember that I was so young that my mom had to go open a checking account with both of our names on it because I was too young to have my own. And the actual account with the company was in her name but I hosted all the parties, it was my job! But I think I might have hosted like two parties. Because well, I was a kid and kids have short attention spans. I don’t remember the ins and outs of Usborne. I was way to young to do all of that, my mom did it all. 

After my short stint in the book selling business, I focused on just helping my mom who was a Mary Kay rep at the time. I was obsessed with organizing her stock, taking inventory, and filling orders. I helped mom with all her parties. I have washed more feet than I care to admit, Jesus would be proud. But mom switched back over to Avon, with whom she is still with today, but at that time I was a sassy teenager who couldn’t be bothered with the shenanigans of her mother (eye roll, we all know I’ve always been a mommy suck up. I mean she is the greatest woman on earth).

Fast forward some years and now I am old enough to be considered an adult, and with adulthood comes copious amounts of caffeine. I remembered when I was in high school and my parents were also AdvoCare reps that I had lost a bunch of weight drinking Spark every morning and afternoon so I signed up as a rep for the company. I paid my fee, got my starter kit in the mail annnnnnddd that was about it. I’m not 100% how AdvoCare reps actually make money because I never got anything after that. So, I just got my Spark, my friends got some Spark and yea. I’m not even 100% sure of any other products they have other than Spark. 

Then along comes Arbonne. This is where I definitely wished I would have known the right questions to ask and done research before shelling out thousands of dollars on products I knew nothing about. This was the first real company that I would say I personally represented and I learned a lot from that company. A lot about everything I didn’t want to do as a DS consultant. And part of the reason I decided to write this post was due to the fact that I just read a book that advocates for the exact same approach as Arbonne. Only validating that the approach works, but was definitely not for me.

Now, before I go on, I feel obligated to mention that I do not have any resentment or distaste for Arbonne as a company, or any of its reps. I love all the friends I made in the company, it just wasn’t a fit for me. Like essential oils, what works for one person, may not work for someone else (see what I did there, because of YL, get it?). So here are the questions I wish I had known to ask before signing the dotted line.

1. What exactly will I be representing? Companies like Arbonne and apparently Rodan + Feilds and I am sure many others lead with the business. They show you all of these potential income earnings and pretty flash cards and OH! you can earn a shiny new car and they reel you in without ever actually mentioning the products. And you’re thinking yes please I would love that shiny new car before ever even realizing what it is you would have to do to earn it. I am 100% a sucker too and was trying to sell a skin care line. I have never had a skin care routine. I am one of those lucky people that just doesn’t have to worry about that. So how in the hell was I supposed to sell a skin care line. And when you’re asking this question, don’t take “a healthy lifestyle” as an answer. You want to know products. I knew Arbonne was pure, safe and beneficial, vegan, organic, toxin free, and blah blah blah long before I ever even knew what it was. 

2. What does my membership fee include? I can’t speak for R+H on this one but I can tell you that Arbonne, the membership fee is exactly that, a membership fee. You then have to purchase a starter package and the cheapest one is about $600. I have seen also, that ItWorks does this same thing. You think you’re joining for $9.99 but then BAM you get charged like $138 for products without even knowing it. Make sure you know EXACTLY how much start up money you are going to need before you take that step. 

3. How do I earn an income? This is the big one for me. When I read the book “Get Over Your Damn Self’ I was actually kind of shocked when I saw words like lead with the business and products are a last resort come across the pages. Mainly because this is always what I heard from the upline in Arbonne and what I was most uncomfortable doing. Now, here are two businesses that do the EXACT same thing. And when you refuse, you’re deemed “uncoachable.” Which is stupid, IMO. These companies want you to make a list of everyone you know, classify them, and then cold call each person on that list and say “Hey Karen, I know we haven’t talked to each other in 30 years but I just took advantage of a business opportunity and I immediately thought of you, you who hasn’t crossed my mind in ages and just so happens to be on my facebook friends list, and how this could help your family, are you interested in learning more? No? Ok well I would love it if you could help me out and host a party for me and/or give me the name and number of every person you know so I can cold call them too. Still no? Thats ok, here let me tell you about the products we sell and maybe you will want to buy something since I couldn’t sucker you into any other part of it, I don’t know a ton about them because you were supposed to say yes at the business or hostess part but its toxin free skin care, I think.” Ok, ok, maybe I threw a lot of sarcasm in there but that is the gist of it. And you may be cool with calling every person in your contact list and asking them to join a business they know nothing about, but again, it wasn’t for me. 

And lastly, I would ask to see a detailed compensation plan, what exactly you have to do to rank and what happens if you fall short a month and won’t meet your goals. Y’all there are companies out there that will actually make you purchase product yourself if you don’t meet your goal. Like, what, no. I can’t express enough to do your research. If cold calling people is something that is unsettling in your stomach, don’t do it. There are other companies out there that work solely on social media. We are millennials after all, putting a phone against our ear for any reason is petrifying as well as hearing the word “no.”

So why did I choose Young Living. I purchased a premium starter kit because my friend had joined and I wanted to support her. I had no interest in the business side of it because, well you just read that very long list of failed DS attempts. And because I was still trying to recover from the fear I had developed reaching out to people with Arbonne. But I was sharing the products because, well they are amazing products. I posted pictures on facebook, did a couple of DIY live videos, sold a roller. Then I thought hmm, what if I keep doing this, sold a kit, then another kit, then another kit, then she sold a kit. And boom, my business was born. I didn’t have to cold call anyone, I didn’t have to make a list of people or ask for referrals. I just shared a genuine love for the PRODUCTS and people responded. That is the beauty of this company. We work off of referrals. You get a bonus if someone buys a kit but you never actually have to ever sell anything if you don’t want to. If you sell, sell, sell then decide to take 4 months off, guess what, you can. You never have to reach goals or ranks. You do whatever you want. You earn an income or you don’t. It’s all up to you. Young Living is fully aware that life happens, so there is no pressure. That is why the system is set up the way it is. By referrals. Our products are first, the business is second. When you sign up with YL, you’re picking the type of membership you want. You can be a wholesale member or a retail member. You have to purchase a PSK if you want to be a wholesale member but what that gets you is 24% off future purchases, the ability to earn free products, and access to the referral bonuses if you want them. But you never actually have to do anything. Just spend $50 in a year to keep your discount. There is a little bit more if you choose to do the business side of things, you do have to spend money to make money, but hey, that is how it is with any business. If you want more information about our products or purchasing a premium starter kit click here. <--- See, that’s it.

I did not write this blog post to throw shade on DS or to tell you that one company is better than the other. I am a huge advocate for DS and working for yourself. There is success in this and the industry itself brings in more profits than the NFL. So for real, I will always tell you to go DS before anything. Just to take your time and do your research. Find out everything before you just sign up. Find a company that’s products and sales approach fit your personality and lifestyle. There are hundreds of companies out there so I am sure you will find one. And please, understand that direct sales is hard. Its not a get rich quick scheme. With any DS company, its hours and hours of dedication and commitment. You are starting a franchise from the ground up. You are the CEO of YOUR business. A person doesn’t become a CEO without putting in hours and hours of work. I do this for extra money, I one day hope that I can survive off of it alone, but I will tell you that I am not there yet, I still have a lot of hours to log before I get there. But the hustle is on y’all. Good Luck!

[junker-town]

Soccer’s ugly sexism is keeping women from coaching the beautiful game

by Stephanie Yang | June 27, 2017

Amanda Cromwell is one of the most well-known names in women’s collegiate soccer. But, she says, you wouldn’t know it from the way male NCAA referees have treated her.

“The refs go to my male assistant coach before the game assuming he’s the head coach,” Cromwell says. “Still now. Last year. After winning a national championship and everything, the refs will go to the male assistant or go to the male on the staff.”

At 47 years old, Cromwell has been a head coach longer than some of her UCLA women’s soccer players have been alive. She’s got 14 NCAA tournament appearances and a D-I championship under her belt.

“I had a game in Memphis years ago,” Cromwell went on. “Fifteen minutes into the game there was a bad call, and I dropped the F-bomb and the ref came over. The center ref didn’t even hear it. The sideline guy was going crazy ... The center comes over and gives me a straight red 15 minutes into the game. Meanwhile the other coach ... he’s like Mister F-bomb. My players afterwards told me, that coach was cussing the whole game and didn’t even get a yellow. It’s like oh, ‘Don’t yell at me missy,’ and come over with their card or something. It’s like a blow to their ego that a female coach is yelling at them.”

Illustration: Brittany Holloway-Brown

The soccer landscape in the United States is expanding for female players. There’s a burgeoning youth system, including a new U.S. Soccer developmental academy, a top-flight women’s professional league that finally beat the three-year lifespan of its predecessors, the growing prominence of NCAA soccer, and of course, the ballooning popularity of the senior national program. But that growth is not equally reflected in coaching opportunities for women. Although the U.S. Women’s National Team has a female head coach, men dominate the coaching ranks at every other level of the sport.

Of the 10 teams in the National Women’s Soccer League (NWSL), only one team — the Seattle Reign — has a female head coach. Out of the top 50 ranked D-I women’s programs in 2016, 14 had female head coaches. In 2015, across all divisions, 338 women’s soccer programs out of 1,047 had female head coaches. The National Soccer Coaches Association of America has a membership of over 30,000, but only 15 percent are female. In USSF’s recent pro A license course, this picture from its pilot course of all men, mostly white, pretty much speaks for itself. The sequel wasn’t much better; out of 17 participants, only one was a woman: USWNT head coach Jill Ellis.

Participation rates of girls in soccer from youth to college level have been robust for the past 10 years, showing that a large pool of interested, talented players who are educated on the basics does exist. According to U.S. Youth Soccer, the gender breakdown of 3.14 million registered players in 2008 was 52 percent boys and 48 percent girls. That same year, 23,357 women and 21,601 men participated in NCAA soccer across all divisions.

Illustration: Brittany Holloway-Brown

Soccer is growing, but not for everyone, and that’s a problem. The ugly truth of the beautiful game is that bias, cultural expectation, and lack of opportunity keep it out of the hands of women who want to help it flourish.

“Nothing’s going to change unless we keep talking about it,” Cromwell says. “That’s how years and years of inequality and social injustice happen and people are silent. You’ve got to talk about it. You have to bring things to the forefront.”

Long before Lori Chalupny was a gold medalist and a two-time World Cup participant for the USWNT, she started out as a 5-year-old whose abject shyness disappeared on the pitch playing against boys. Chalupny rose through the U.S. Soccer system to earn 106 caps and seven years of professional playing experience. Now the soccer lifer says her coaching career, unlike her playing days, has been mostly self-guided.

Photo by Brian Bahr/Getty Images

Chalupny is currently an assistant coach at D-II Maryville University, where she will assume head coach duties after the 2017 season. But even with a USSF class B license, the path she has taken toward becoming a head coach has been crawled at a measured pace, dictated in part by her limited resources.

“[The USSF] B license itself was pretty costly,” Chalupny says. “And it’s a 10-day course, so you have to get a hotel for 10 days and fly out to California. It was a pretty costly endeavor, but definitely worth it.”

Most coaches get certified through the National Soccer Coaches Association of America or U.S. Soccer, which develops coaches through an eight-level training progression from USSF F license (which anyone over 16 can complete online for $25) all the way up to the Pro license (only open to current MLS, NWSL, NASL, USL, or U.S. National Team coaching staff). At every stop, the requirements expand into clinics with rising costs — $1,000 for a Class C license; $4,000 for Class A — both in terms of time and money.

Photo by Kim Klement/Getty Images

Any player with five years’ playing experience “on a FIFA recognized 1st Division professional team,” can go straight to the Class B, but not all players are aware of that option. Chalupny says she didn’t know about the option until she began researching it herself. “Nobody ever told me that when I was researching getting my license,” she says. “I stumbled across a little asterisk that said that was the case. I think we have to make sure that people know that.”

Non-pros pour thousands of dollars in fees, travel costs, and missed work into getting licensed. “Very few of us can afford to be a club coach full time, and so you’re taking time off your own work schedule and doing vacation to go do this,” says Angela Harrison, who has been coaching club soccer in Portland for 20 years and is licensed through the NSCAA.

Sharolta Nonen is the new head coach of women’s soccer at Florida International University and a former Canadian international with 10 years of national team experience. She has a USSF C license. “I was actually in a class that had quite a few females,” says Nonen, but “quite a few” women wasn’t very many at all. “I believe there were five of us. Which, for us, we were amazed that there were that many and super excited. So it was probably five out of 40 or 50 men ... and we were all amazed that there were that many of us.”

“That was without doubt the hardest thing, the most uncomfortable thing about the B license,” Chalupny says. “Now I did it, fortunately, with two other friends of mine that I played with, so there were three of us in the course with, what, 25 guys. It is a little bit intimidating.”

It wasn’t always this hard for women to break into soccer coaching. Perhaps one of the factors that most impacted the number of female coaches was Title IX, the landmark 1972 education amendment that decreed that federally funded institutions cannot discriminate on the basis of sex. Athletic programs had to provide equitable opportunities for athletic participation to their male and female students, including funding coaching staffs equally. The infusion of money into women’s sports caused a boom. According to The New York Times, in the year before Title IX was enacted, about 310,000 female athletes played high school and college sports. By 2012, there were more than 3.37 million.

As women’s programs began to grow in support and prestige after Title IX, men found coaching jobs more and more attractive. In 1972, women coached 90 percent of women’s teams. By 2012, that figure was down to 43 percent and hasn’t budged much since. Women didn’t cross over in equal measure: Only 3 percent of men’s teams are coached by women.

Illustration: Brittany Holloway-Brown

Dr. Nicole LaVoi, Co-Director of the Tucker Center for Research on Girls & Women in Sport at the University of Minnesota, gave a presentation on women coaches in soccer at the 2017 NSCAA convention, in which she discussed several of the reasons for bias in hiring.

Sparse media coverage conditions the public to associate sports with men. People in charge of hiring tend to hire people like themselves in what Dr. LaVoi calls “homologous reproduction.” And someone may simply have preconceived ideas about hiring women (or, just as problematic, no ideas about hiring women because the concept has not occurred to them).

Many women are simply made to feel like outsiders in their sport by the men in charge. “I can’t tell you how many situations I’ve been in,” Harrison says, “that have been super uncomfortable, where as a woman I’m with maybe one other woman but like 10 guys, and you feel like ‘I got to kind of keep up with these guys’ and you’re going out and you feel like you have to drink or you feel like you have to listen to these terrible misogynistic jokes and things like that because you have to be part of a network.”

Who are the federation board members, the college athletic directors, the team managers and owners, the club directors? Those responsible for hiring head coaches overwhelmingly tend to be men, and men tend to hire other men.

Nonen says she has definitely seen men get jobs she knew she was qualified for. “I’m fortunate because of my playing days I know a lot of not only former and current great players, but also great coaches,” she says. “So I’d ask my friends that were head coaches, what are the administrators looking for? What do they want? If they don’t want [me], what I see as professionalism and experience and all this kind of stuff, what do they want? And they all had the same answer: Nobody knows.

“One of the things that I believe is just that we don’t have enough representation at the administrative side,” Nonen says. “And there aren’t as many women that are ADs and therefore we’re not hiring as many female coaches.”

Illustration: Brittany Holloway-Brown

Men have better, more established networks in other male coaches, giving them the edge in mentoring and job placement. Without an obvious route in, aspiring female coaches have difficulty picturing themselves being able to break into the boys’ club, even when they’re as qualified as male applicants, as U.S. Soccer Women’s Technical Director April Heinrichs can attest.

Heinrichs was a two-time National Player of the Year at North Carolina and one of the first USWNT members. She captained the team that won the first-ever women’s World Cup in 1991 and coached the USWNT to silver (in 2000) and gold (2004) Olympic medals. When she scans the candidates for jobs within the U.S. program, she sees this discrepancy play out.

“[Women are] more confident on the surface, but when you scratch sort of a little bit below, there’s a lot of self-doubt,” Heinrichs says. “Men don’t have that doubt. They’re missing four qualifications; they still think they’re the best applicant for the job. I don’t try to be funny there; I literally have read applications where a guy has not coached one day in women’s soccer and they feel like he can translate and coach women easily. Or he’s never coached internationally, ever, at any level, and he feels like he could coach a youth national team program.”

Once women get their foot in the door, advancement can be just as difficult, at any level, as entry.

“What tends to happen [in youth clubs],” Harrison says, “is either they give up control and let a woman coach a team and maybe the results aren’t there right away, and so they get impatient and pull them off, or a woman starts to have a little bit of success with a team and pushes them up into a little bit of a higher level, and now the men in the club come in and take the team, because there’s a little bit more prestige in that team.”

The prestige that Harrison mentions is especially prevalent in the U15 and U16 age groups — kids who are getting scouted for college. Coaches in these age groups want to both impress scouts and make their own connections for future jobs.

At the pro level, women get yanked when the results aren’t there, while male coaches get more leeway. Lisa Cole was head coach of the Boston Breakers in 2013 but was unceremoniously fired after about eight months on the job. The Breakers finished fifth that year, one spot out of playoff contention. Yet her replacement, Tom Durkin, spent two years with the Breakers. His team finished eighth out of nine teams in his first year, then dead last in his second. Randy Waldrum of the Houston Dash finished ninth, fifth, and eighth out of 10 over three seasons. Waldrum was only fired when he went 2-5-0 in 2017.

“I know women who have gotten out of coaching because they can see that all they’re going to be given are the younger teams or the very oldest teams and not given the chance to develop a team through the middle part of the age groups,” Harrison says, meaning the prestigious college-scouted teams. Women simply aren’t given the same chances to succeed or fail as men.

Family is a career hurdle for women more often than men because the expectation of child-rearing is largely placed on mothers in American society. In a 2008 NCAA survey, 73 percent of female coaches agreed with the statement that “careers in athletics conflict with family duties,” and 58 percent of them said family commitments were the main reason women decide to leave careers in coaching.

Illustration: Brittany Holloway-Brown

Female head coaches with young children are not the norm, but former USWNT player Marci Jobson has four children under 7 years old. She was head coach at Baylor but transitioned to volunteer assistant coach to spend more time with her children, with her husband assuming the head coach role in her place. For Jobson, the extreme time commitment of being a head coach forced her into tough choices. “You have to make the decision of traveling all the time,” Jobson says. ”If you’re not traveling, somebody else is traveling. Some other program is going to get that recruit.”

According to Jobson, Baylor’s support allowed her to keep working in the program. “My children have come on the road at different times ... they’ve allowed me that freedom at times to do that. It’s not a big deal if I have a sick kid and I have to bring them up to the office for a day or I maybe can’t get a babysitter or something like that. They’re very flexible and supportive in that facet.”

Heinrichs mentioned another problem with coach retention that ties into family: fatigue. “I have found unfortunately that a lot of women step away from coaching around 40 years of age,” she says. “I think that 40 years of age is kind of a threshold for a lot of women. If they decide to have children, they’ve done it up until they actually have kids and now their kids are starting to play soccer and starting to be that soccer mom. I think if you decide to not have kids, then it’s just fatigue from saying yes to everything because you felt like you had to say yes to everything.”

Jobson was aware that what was provided at Baylor isn’t necessarily the case for all universities, and that, depending on the timing of a pregnancy, it can be logistically difficult to take a true maternity leave. “You got to keep getting your team better, you got to keep improving things, you got to keep your recruiting, all those things. So it’s really hard to just say, ‘Oh, I’m going to take two months off and kick back,’” she points out.

For all the problems that exist in the hiring and promotion of female coaches, they’re worse for black female coaches. There aren’t many women in the game at the highest levels as players, coaches, owners, or administrators, and that problem is even more acute for women of color. A 2015 NCAA report said that “ethnic minority females,” not just black women, accounted for less than 7 percent of administrators and coaches across all three divisions. According to NCAA demographic data, in the 2015-16 season, 4.5 percent of all NCAA female soccer players were black, making low minority participation in the sport a continuing problem across all levels.

The high price point of participating in elite soccer contributes to the dearth. But as players are more likely to grow up to be volunteers, assistant coaches, or grad assistants before they become head coaches themselves, that scarcity means the pool for black female coaches is quite limited.

Former USWNT starting goalkeeper Briana Scurry was the most visible black player during the ’90s runs, which ignited grassroots soccer participation. She made the save before that Brandi Chastain penalty kick that won the 1999 World Cup and was a founding player in WUSA, America’s first professional women’s soccer league.

Photo by David Madison/Getty Images

The seeds that Scurry herself planted during her playing career from 1994 to 2008 have only now come to fruition, as the girls who saw her play are now professional players in their own right. Scurry helped lead the way for increased numbers of black women in the national team pool, among them Christen Press, Crystal Dunn, Mallory Pugh, Lynn Williams, Jess McDonald, and Casey Short.

“I’m disappointed at how long it took for more African-American young women to feel like soccer was an option for them,” Scurry says. “These things do take time, and right now you’re taking a snapshot and you’re seeing some change occur right before your eyes, but you’re not going to see a whole lot of African-American women coaching soccer at the highest collegiate levels for another five or 10 years, maybe longer.”

The lack of access for black women is compounded by a lack of outreach. “I don’t think that USSF or high-level programs are particularly trying to increase diversity within the game,” says Kia McNeill, head coach of women’s soccer at Brown. “I have seen no real evidence of that, and I continue to see a lack of diversity in soccer at the highest level. I think that you are starting to see more minorities in the game these days because the game itself is growing and there is a lot more exposure around it.”

That 2015 NCAA study reinforces the importance of visibility. The No. 1 response when asked why more “ethnic minority women” weren’t in leadership positions: “lack of ethnic minority women in leadership roles.” You cannot be what you cannot see.

“I think that right now there are just so few of us that are even looking at this as a possible career path,” Nonen says, emphasizing the importance of visible diversity. “When I’m recruiting kids now, if they’re black kids, they say, ‘Oh, Sydney Leroux.’ That’s their favorite player. They know Sydney Leroux. She’s the only one. Older players might remember Bri Scurry still. But younger players, they see Sydney Leroux and decide they want to be like Sydney Leroux.”

The rise of future Lerouxs might be more attributable to the growing black middle class than to soccer programs making their ranks easier to access, a fact that Scurry also noted. But with the attrition rate for female coaching candidates already high, the list of high-level black female coaches who make it from player to coach is embarrassingly short.

The women surveyed in that 2015 NCAA report agreed that perceived bias in hiring prevents some women of color from applying to jobs in the first place. Only 19 percent of “ethnic female respondents” agreed with the statement: “The most qualified applicants are being hired in athletics regardless of race/ethnicity”; 18 percent agreed with “the most qualified applicants are being hired in athletics regardless of gender.”

Nonen described attending a Alliance of Women’s Coaches meeting, with roughly 100 women present. “It was a sort of the same makeup in the coaches as it was in the administrators, where of those hundred, there were maybe 10 of us that are black.”

Illustration: Brittany Holloway-Brown

As Scurry has pointed out, many of the problems with hiring and promotion will take time because they stem from ingrained cultural attitudes toward women and people of color. Cultural shifts don’t happen overnight.

In the meantime, there are actionable steps toward improving the pipeline for female coaches. The women are there, getting licensed and learning despite the barriers inherent to the licensing system. FC Kansas City’s Yael Averbuch is doing her best to start up a licensing program through NWSL, where players can take a course that works with their schedule. With the league’s help, they were able to set up an E license course open to all FC Kansas City players who came to their field and spread out the course requirements over a longer period based on their in-season schedule.

“There may have been one or two [players] in the room who didn’t necessarily think, ‘I want to be a coach,’ but after going through the license realized, ‘Oh wow, I see how this works now; it’s something I’d be interested in continuing to learn about,’” Averbuch says.

That improved access is important for female players, who are the best resource for growing the coaching pool but don’t always have the time during their playing careers to devote to long coaching courses. It’s also critically important that players are made aware of their resources. U.S. Soccer needs to be especially proactive in reaching out to women of color. It’s telling that neither Scurry nor McNeill perceive U.S. Soccer as particularly working toward more diversity.

Illustration: Brittany Holloway-Brown

“[They] don’t make us aware of what we can do,” Scurry says about Chalupny having to figure out the shortcut to the B license on her own. “It’s sad that she didn’t know that because she’s a brilliant soccer mind, too. ... U.S. Soccer needs to be more proactive with stuff like that because having players like Chalupny and [Averbuch] and all these women who played on the national team being active in the soccer community after they’re playing is a good PR thing.”

U.S. Soccer may want to consider flexibility in its licensing, as well. Both Cromwell and Harrison were dissatisfied with USSF not accepting equivalency from NSCAA coaching courses as they once did. Some coaches find NSCAA more accessible than U.S. Soccer in terms of both time and money. U.S. Soccer wants to maintain certain standards, and it’s understandable that it wants a particular style of coaching to maintain consistency across all its teams. But there must be some aspects of coaching that translate between courses, and a little bit of flexibility helps ease the burden on coaches who have finite resources.

What many female coaches really need is for people in hiring positions to expand their job searches beyond the usual pool of white male candidates. Could that mean a Rooney Rule or something similar for hiring in some circle of women’s soccer? “A lot of these clubs are private [or] non-profit organizations,” Harrison says. “The ECNL (Elite Clubs National League) can’t necessarily mandate when a coaching director position comes open in their club. They have to interview just as many qualified female candidates as they do men. I don’t know that legally they can do that.”

But as she pointed out, they can encourage it, and NWSL, the NCAA, and USSF can certainly mandate that coaching searches must include diverse candidates. Right now, that doesn’t always happen. “When there’s a male in charge of the search, they often don’t do that,” Heinrichs says. “If you really want to find a woman, all you have to do is commit to it.”

Photo by Robert Cianflone/ALLSPORT

Above: USSF Technical Director April Heinrichs

Heinrichs also encourages women to ask their employers for the resources they need to better themselves as coaches, including having their clubs or colleges pay for their coaching licenses. “They’re going to be an investment,” she says. “So it’s paying for the license is an investment that will give back to their club, their team.”

Dr. LaVoi suggests several other methods of keeping women in the hiring loop, including using gender-neutral language for coaching positions of both boys’ and girls’ teams and a “succession planning list,” an organized plan for when a coach moves on, which includes women in the queue.

“I have a few coaches around the country, I’d say they know they can reach out to me and give them some insight and advice and I love that,” Cromwell says. “In the end, the women have to help the women and encourage them and promote them and try to hire them as much as we can, and in situations recommend them for jobs and all that.” Her former assistant coach, Louise Lieberman, is now head coach at San Diego.

It’s an uphill battle to push the people in charge of hiring to become more inclusive of women in their job searches and promotion decisions. But many of the women interviewed for this piece heavily emphasized the power of mentoring and being examples for the next generation. Dr. LaVoi says that a commitment to hiring diverse coaches as role models would lead to tangible benefits to players, including increased self-perception, positive self-esteem, and insight and advice from someone who knows their background. And of course, diverse coaches are role models, showing players like them that coaching is a possibility.

Nonen was looking for a way to remain close to the game when she decided to retire, but she didn’t feel confident about coaching. “I didn’t feel that I was anything like even the good male coaches that I had. I just didn’t see myself in them,” she says.

However, she encountered her only female head coach during a stint in Denmark — Eli Landsem, head coach of the Norwegian women’s team from 2009 to 2012 — who “ended up being one of the best coaches I’ve ever had.” Landsem’s advice and example helped put Nonen on the path to becoming a head coach.

The visibility and presence of women can help influence attitudes toward their place in sports and how their work intersects with their personal lives. Between men taking on more equal shares of responsibility in child-rearing and more child-friendly attitudes in the workplace like the one Jobson described at Baylor, it’s possible that the 40-year wall that Heinrichs described will start to come down.

Changes can be built from both the bottom up and the top down to help make a real, pervasive, and lasting difference. But people in positions of power have to want it, too. Women are already trying to get over, around, and through the barriers in their way. Clubs, schools, and federations should be doing their best to tear down the walls. They are, after all, the ones who put them there in the first place.