#with me this isn't f/f it's non-binary but it's sapphic :)

[vanillachaiwhiskey]

I just want to bake a cute pink strawberry heart-shaped cake with a ton of finely-ground weed mixed in and then feed half of it to my kittygirl and eat the other half myself while feeding her and we'll get nice and high and kiss and squish each other's tummies <3 <3 <3

[multigenderswag]

Multigender Survey Results Dec 2023: Anything else relevant

Participants were asked "Share anything else about your multigender identity that you find relevant" and had the option to respond with long answer text. Some notable responses include:

As a m+f bigender person who uses he/she pronouns, I sometimes feel like the "he" refers to my female side, and the "she" refers to my male side

I am no longer religious/Christian, but the expression “God is Change” resonates deeply with me and my approach to gender as experience. I accept that my gender (holistically) is an amalgamation, something that breathes new life into itself repeatedly and often unexpectedly, sustained by its own willingness to grow past its bounds and taste richness anew. Teaching is part of my work, and as such I consider myself an eternal student: gender is just one avenue for discovery and learning for me.

I feel so boring but it is what it is, name wise I use one (completely feminine) with group A and one (completely masculine) with group B and hope and pray that they never interact

I identified as a 'tomboy' (gender wise) as a child and transmasc as a teenager. As an adult part of my being multigender is honouring these past versions of myself and acknowledging that who I was is an important part of who I am today.

I like to describe my gender like this: imagine there’s a house on a street. the house represents being a boy/male, and being *in* the house means you’re binary male. The road represents a neutral, non-male/female gender. My gender is like the driveway — both part of the road *and* the house

i think this is relevant-ish, but the way i experience gender kind of feels like. there's a man and a woman in my head at all times, not in a system way so much as a (this is very obviously stupid but i can't find another comparison to articulate it) inside out way. they're both always there, and they're both separate, but at the same time, they come together to make the same person, me! nonbinary is a label i understand and identify with, mostly to simplify the matter for others, but in reality, it kind of feels like a... superbinary of sorts. i'm 100% a man, and 100% a woman, but because the binary only "allows" you to choose one, nonbinary is technically correct, isn't it?

I'm multigender in the "one gender that fits into several categories" way than being multigender in a "has multiple genders" way

My gender is the intersection of butch dyke and trans man. I'm questioning things right now, but I'm somewhere in that region, with a foot in both at once. I've always been drawn to butchness and sapphicism as well as transmasculinity. I think most of my journey to understand my gender has been a balancing act between identifying as enough of a guy to feel comfortable in my skin but non-binary enough to not have to abandon my identity with butchness. Recently I've adopted the label multigender, and it's helped a lot. I'm only even a little bit a girl if I can be a boy first and foremost, and I could be just a boy or just a dyke but I would have to kill part of myself to do so. I'm trying to find a way to exist in my gender without blood on my hands. I think I'm getting there. It's hard but I'm getting there.

It is complicated but I love it

Yay I love multi gender people we are so cool. <3

A number of participants also referenced being autistic and how that has influenced their multigender identity, so it is possible that autism may be included as a question on the next survey.

[clonehub]

Hi, I saw your post about blonde hair and whiteness being associated with good and dark hair and poc features being associated with evil and I don’t know if it’s the same or derailing so I won’t reblog it with this addition but it kind of reminds me of a similar thing, where whiteness and lighter features are associated with femininity and darker ones and poc features with masculinity. And I know femininity isn’t inherently “good” nor masculinity “evil” but it’s something I’ve noticed that gets me upset. How female characters whether human or otherwise will often be lighter than their male counterparts, how most heterosexual interracial relationships will have the girl be lighter skinned or white, and the boy be darker skinned or a poc, and how most lesbian/sapphic couples will have the more feminine partner be lighter-skinned/white while the more masculine partner will be darker-skinned/poc, for example Lumity and Catradora and some other examples(and this is no shade to either of those ships because I like them both a lot but it is a trend that exists a lot). There are some exceptions such as Revolutionary Girl Utena and The Prom but they are rarer in comparison.

Stuff like this leads to woc and especially Black women, but ESPECIALLY those with darker skin being seen as less feminine than white women or nbwoc. In lots of Black media the Black women are all lighter skinned with looser curls and lighter eyes and are often played by biracial actresses(usually half-white), while the Black men are darker-skinned and played by fully-Black actors. Likewise, straight interracial relationships featuring a Black partner almost always have the male partner be Black. And if it’s a Black woman in a wlw ship the non-white partner will be more feminine than she is. A lot of Black femmes and other woc femmes with dark skin often don’t feel femme enough because the standards for femininity often bleed into the lesbian community where everyone’s prototypical idea of a femme lesbian is white and slim. I even saw some stories of young Black girls not being allowed to be the princess in a school play because “Black girls can’t be princesses” similar to how someone said that a Black girl couldn’t play an angel in a play but the white girls could. It’s as if the standard for femininity is whiteness which leads a lot of Black girls and women to feel like feminine enough because they are too dark and idk it is something to think about. I hope this isn’t missing the point of your og post or anything but I feel like it is worth mentioning. I’m sure they’re are lots of videos on it too. It’s so unfair.

No you're totally right! I think something that cis people like to do is ascribe morality to femininity and masculinity. and it's not always F = Good and M = Bad because obviously femininity in men and masculinity in women are punished extremely violently, but they do play into (feminine) innocence a lot while also playing into the colorist/racist idea that lightness equals morality. hence why often times when someone is described as angelic or the epitome of innocence, the character will be a blonde haire blue eyed girl, specifically. and other times when, even if she doesn't have that pheontype, she's still a girl.

you also see it in the conded (and sometimes not) "women and children = innocent" framing that people will use to draw sympathy for a terrible phenomena.

And like I said, there's lots of times where masculinity is the standard for morality and femininity isn't (like the masculine aloofness versus the feminine emotionality). but in America especially (where I am currently) how we view masculinity, femininity, gender neutrality, and everyhting in between is inextricably linked to race and white supremacy. what makes a manly man and a womanly woman and a deviant of these binary ideals has a lot to do with white christian views on sex, gender, and sexuality.

and i could talk about this for ages but we'd be here all day ksajhflsakj

[nothingmatters-everythingmatters]

Reading your responses like a morning newspaper teehee

Tysm for all of the praise/compliments aaaaaa! >\\\< I'm incapable of explaining things in a short and concise way so I'm really glad that you see so much value in the way I explain things and just generally the points I bring up! Thank you, myo!! Also, you should cut yourself some slack, I may not know you personally but you seem like a chill person. I radblr and the general tumblr website tbh you're quite nuanced, patient and someone who overall tries to sympathise with others compared to many users from what I've seen. And your writing isn't that bad, I understand it at least. Or maybe it's 2 rambly people understanding each other bc we are alike idk :p (clown to clown communication)

Definetely take me up on my offer! I won't judge you for whatever you choose to share nor how, and I'd be very happy to help even just a little bit :]

I like how you explained things BTW! It made me think about once again how I went from finding the tra (is that the term to use here?) label of lesbian/sapphic more inclusive and progressive and poetic and yada yada to now just going "uuuuuuh I'm just into female bodies I dunno mate lol". A majority of my friends are trans or cis but very trans positive (I think I mentioned this in the past??) so I think ever since my views have shifted slightly I avoid talking about my orientation. I don't think they'll dog pile me for using the wrong words or whatever, they're not like that and I'm sure they wouldn't care much, but it does feel alienating to basically have different definitions for something so important(?)

They're also a lot (and I mean A LOT) more into the "lgbt culture" stuff (online inside jokes pretty much I suppose) meanwhile I've distanced myself from that so it adds to another level of discomfort despite us finding a lot of solidarity in each other as a bunch of queer people. Also, I'm someone who LOVES talking about these sorts of things and am a big fan of debating (guilty pleasures 😔) so my little heart is sad to have such restrictions. Womp womp

This also made me think of my younger sister, she's still a kid and doesn't know much about queer things but she has some basics down I suppose. Once my parents and I were joking about match making me with a lesbian non binary (afab) friend and my sister protested that I couldn't possibly be attracted to them because I'm into girls and they're not one. For the first time I didn't know what to tell her. I guess normally I would've explained to her that "lesbians can like enbies bc they're not men" but I also don't believe in gender anymore an things working that way. But I couldn't tell her "I don't think gender exists and that that factors into my attraction rlly" bc then I'd have to explain a perspective very different form what she knows so far and would then have to explain to my parents why my views changed and it's exhausting just to write about LMAO.

All of this more anecdotal and less "proper discussion about social stuff and politics" talk to say labels are indeed silly these days and I'm kind of resenting how my change in views makes me happier about multiple aspects of my life but subsequently isolates me and puts me in difficult positions at times. Makes me a bit worried about my prospects in terms of romantic partners lol, though I'd imagine once you go out actually looking for people, they're a lot more chill and willing to disagree on things but also understand your intentions and let it be that and won't call you a bigot TwT (I hope I'm not coming off as trying to call myself a martyr LMAO)

I guess that segways into the fact that I'm therefore happy to have found your blog where I feel like I can barf out my thoughts and hit send on the inbox and get a valuable response and pleasant conversation from someone on here lol

AAAAAA THIS IS TOO MUCH WORD VOMIT I will now eclipse myself and hope for the best! Bai!!!

~🪼

thank you for all the nice words :0 my ego has never been fed so well !! I am a bit too harsh on myself but I consider it part of the job of what I do on this blog...using social media in a non-self aggrandizing way is always my goal, and I also find translating the impulse to self-deprecate into small bits of snarky reflection in my writing a much better alternative to saying it out loud in real life and making everyone around me uncomfortable lolol

but enough about me! I really just wanted to highlight a part of your message, the part about how some of your new changes in view makes you happier in some aspects of life but it makes a lot of new problems. that's literally so real. in a way, it's like I've been able to see the world in a clearer, less filtered view once I let go of held biases and focused more on reality, but it really really is tough trying to talk to people who still have those mental filters (for better or for worse).

hence, the existence of this blog for me lmao. it really is just the consequence of my desire to air out my observations that people in talk to in real life simply wouldn't understand, and I feel like I say this a lot, but I am truly so delighted that literally any other person can even get something valuable out of this for themselves! it proves that I guess we're really not alone out here in this kinda fucked up world, which is so relieving to know after coming to revelations how you're essentially the minority of a minority and every new complex thought you have propelling you towards actualization is also quickly shrinking the pool of other people who you can truly trust or those who will actually understand you. it is genuinely very nice to know that there's even at least just one person who can relate to a shared experience! one of the nicest benefits of the internet (among a sea of downsides lmao)

the dating thing also hits home a little too hard lolol, even though I swear I won't get into a relationship until I can actually be a decent partner, it sure is lonely sometimes and i can't help but think about it anyways, and man oh man does the dating pool (in my area) get smaller and smaller as I think about it...

but as you say, most people are understanding and honestly, even when you come at something from a different perspective, I find most people who value progress and kindness and understanding do fundamentally agree to some extent with what I also believe. in a way, because some notions about the world (specifically in feminism too) are just undeniable, and a lot of experiences (especially shared within afab people) just sort of make people subconsciously aware of certain truths. so, hopefully, wishing well-read, feminist, nuanced, and compassionately curious girlfriends for the both of us lolol !!

[queerenteen]

OTPs of 2021

While it feels like yesterday when I posted my Favourite Couples of 2020 list (three months too late), it is once again that time of the year to compile a new one.

(this list isn't in any particular order by the way)

Raeda || Raine Whispers and Eda Clawthorne (The Owl House)

*plays eda's requiem on a loop for hours*

No, I'm not joking, I genuinely play this soundtrack so often, and you can find me humming it under my breath at least once a day.

There is something so heartbreakingly beautiful about them, how they drift apart and still find their way back to each other, years later.

Also, a sapphic relationship between two older characters where one of them is non-binary? What a win for representation in kid's animations. I'm so glad there are kids growing up watching this.

Owl House, you've done it again.

Lumity || Luz Noceda and Amity Blight (The Owl House)

Okay, I'm technically cheating with this one because they were on this last year and I already have another ship for this show but I don't care.

I love them.

They got even more adorable this year which I didn't think was possible.

The cheek kiss? The tunnel of love? The confession?

Another year goes by and here I am, still a Lumity stan.

Wangxian || Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji (The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation)

This, is the ideal ship dynamic.

It has everything: the enemies to tumultous allies to I absolutely adore you but I am apparently not good at expressing emotions in a conventional manner so everyone thinks I hate you (lan wangji) or You're the best thing in my life right now and I think you're the most beautiful person out there, also do you want to raise my beloved son/radish with me in a small cottage in the countryside? no homo though (wei wuxian) to those thirteen years that make me want to curl into a foetal position and sob but we're just going to ignore that for now to you're the only one who will always know me best to pining^100 and aware (lan wangji) or pining^100 and oblivious (wei wuxian).

Don't worry, they figure it out... eventually.

In all honesty, it is perhaps, the best love story I have read. The sheer artistry with which their story has been built is amazing.

Just please, go and read the book/watch the donghua/read the manhua/watch the c-drama.

Look at all the options!

Kyoru || Sohma Kyo and Honda Tohru (Fruits Basket)

To absolutely no one's surprise, I ship them.

I watched Fruits Basket recently and oh my god, it's so fucking good, and Kyoru's dynamic is just so wonderful? It makes me so happy?

To see two people overcome the struggles thrown their way, to believe in the other so fully, and just to derive so much happiness from being near each other?

I adore them.

Malori Crowlett and Queen Velverosa (Mage and Demon Queen)

Okay, this one is a little different from the others because it's actually a manhua on Webtoon called Mage and Demon Queen.

And it is honestly one of the best things I've ever read.

I'm going to be honest, yuri is probably the hardest genre to find good stories in, simply because it isn't as popular as mlm or m/f (but i can gradually see the greater flow of good sapphic content and it makes me so happy).

And a story with a main wlw relationship that is so forward without it overtaking the base plot? I'd never found one before this, and I am very greatful for it.

(you seriously underestimate how much i love banter and innuendo, and 'mage and demon queen' does not disappoint on their aspect.)

To give you the last bit of incentive to pick up this amazing manhua if you haven't already, here's the summary:

Adventurers seek to take the demon queen’s head, but a love-struck young female mage wishes to take her hand. Join us won’t you, for this bawdy tale of love and persistence set inside a real-life RPG.

Why wouldn't you be interested?

Koito Yuu and Nanami Touko (Bloom Into You)

(Okay, so I binged this one because I had to suddenly get my wisdom teeth surgically removed. Which meant I was basically ordered to take it easy for a day or two and just eat icecream. It was a good time.)

I think this was the first show that I watched that was literally just about the main wlw relationship. The entire plot revolved around the two of them and what they meant to each other and it was just so beautifully done.

It had multiple sapphic relationships, an aroace character, a main relationship where two girls showed their affection to one another in a way that I had never really seen before. I never knew how much I needed this because I saw so much of myself in all of these characters.

(Every time I see a gif of them being this adorable couple I have to take a moment to squeal and then another to go: god I wish that were me.)

Renga || Kyan Reki and Hagasewa Langa (Sk8 the Infinity)

*pulls their cheeks* adorable.

Bright sunshine boy and his lovestruck ice boyfriend. What more do you want?

Oh, an incredibly nuanced dynamic about grief and self-worth, overcoming your fears and finally realising that the true joy is in each other's company?

Also, the english dub is so good, god bless.

Nothing will ever be funnier than 'Reki, my love... For skateboarding'.

The VAs sure knew what they were doing.

Matchablossom || Cherry Blossom and Joe (Sk8 the Infinity)

I once again break the one ship per show rule because what was I supposed to do? Not include them?

They're dynamic is so good, from their banter, to their shared history and eventual mending relation.

Also, once again, the english dub has blessed us becuase they went from bickering, married old couple (sub) to 'we used to date once but i'm not really over him' (dub).

Harlivy || Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy (Harley Quinn)

Harlivy are quite literally, partners in crime. (i'm sorry, i'll show myself out now)

Morally grey sapphic characters? Who love each other unconditionally and would do absolutely anything for the other? I adore them.

(ngl, the whole show has a very crack-ish air to it, which is very intended and it just works flawlessly for the dynamic between these two.)

Bakudeku || Midoriya Izuku and Bakugou Katsuki (My Hero Academia)

You will genuinely not believe how much I've talked about these two all year. I literally use their dynamic as a blueprint for literary analysis and comparison. I cannot possibly get any more invested.

I know I said this list isn't ordered, (and it isn't) but if I had to choose a favourite ship for the year, it would easily be the two of them. (not even surprised at this point)

Past experience has shown the childhood friends to enemies to lovers dynamic that just gets me hook, line and sinker.

I can't even begin about how I feel about their dynamic without getting into a two hour long tangent but one thing I will say is this: I love how their relationship has progressed over the course of the story and I cannot wait to see how it will develop.