dansmesyeuxx

[dansmesyeuxx]

my church turned 15 a few weeks ago...

I love and hate this church at the same time

Its my second home. I’ve spent so much time and given so much to that church ever since I’ve lived in Dover. This is home of all of my friends... but I feel like I don’t belong here.

I hate how the people are and I want to be in a positive environment where I am growing in Christ, not feeling burdened by Him.

I might be leaving this church for 9 months to go to another church but is it the right decision... I dont know

[dansmesyeuxx]

total compassion

So at work today, I was waiting in front of my register for these two customers in the cue: a mother and a daughter. They were picking a snack and I heard the mom say "what are you doing?!" And it sounded so familiar.. She continued with "really?? Chocolate?" With a demeaning, disgusted sound in her voice. I saw the girl's face. She was absolutely embarrassed and hurt by her moms words. I called them up to my register and I began to check out her things. I kept looking up at her and her mother and their faces again seemed so familiar. At some point, I heard the mother say something like "why are your feet like that/why are your feet so fat(?)". Then it hit me. This was me and my mom. The girl continued to look ahead with an emotionless face and held it in. She eventually threw her mom an annoyed look and said "stop I don't know". When I asked about a reward's card and donating, she responded with a slight smile and a timid, soft voice. She kindly said thank you and walked away. I saw so much of myself in her and my mom in her mom. I felt so much sympathy and compassion it was overwhelming, I could've cried. I remember all the times I was verbally abused by my mom at home and in public and how she would make me feel about myself. I remember how I would feel like shit every time something like that happened. I really wanted to say that I know how it feels and I'm really proud of how strong she is. As long as you feel beautiful and happy in your skin, that's all that matters. I understand how you feel and I'm fighting this battle too. Don't give up on yourself.... If I were to go back, no, i still wouldn't have said anything because my feelings are based on inferences and assumptions so I shouldn't be jumping to conclusions. But if I am right, I hope someone in her life is telling her these things. I'll be praying for her.

[dansmesyeuxx]

the mess: the group of people I'm surrounded by who act like they're my friends but are actually terrible actors/actresses

[dansmesyeuxx]

Oh Sehun is my new EXO bias and I can't believe I ever thought this boy was unattractive. LIKE HOW THERESIA he's like 🔥🔥🔥

[dansmesyeuxx]

so I went to Exoplanet #2: the EXO'luXion in New York….. and it was one of those experiences I want to relive over and over for the rest of my life. There was something that kept me from enjoying the concert to its entirety…I was sick 😞 A couple times during the concert, I had to sit down because I was so exhausted (after the 7 hour bus ride, vomiting nonstop all morning, sleeping for 2 hours, and not eating all day) and I kept dozing off. I was drowsy after so much anti nausea drugs that I could barely keep my eyes open. I felt so bad because I wanted to enjoy it but my mind was not there like 30% of the time. I wish I could relive it and get those moments back. But I can’t and I have to move on and be grateful I have videos to help me relive it 😊 overall, it was one of the best concert experiences of my life ❤️

[dansmesyeuxx]

bio// I am 19, a college student, an employee, a follower of Christ, a youtuber, a vlogger, a kpop addict, an 아가새, a lover of music, and a human a being.