#with every act of kindness you make it so so clear how enamored you are with me

[rancidarling]

thinking about my last crush and while I'm not a delusional person, that may have been the most deluded period of time I've ever had

[luludeluluramblings]

Conner Kent's Obsession with Smalltown!Reader

A/N: I saw a few people liking the Superfam stuff and finally went nuts attempting this Conner bit. I tried. I tried so hard. I added dialogue. I'm used to the YJ Conner, but this is my attempt at Comic Conner. If he's OOC, oops. Yeet. (I attempted to research, I swear.) Might edit this some later.

A/N: I write Reader with an accent. One, cause that's how I talk. Two, cause I like it like 'dat.

A/N: I'm also almost done with Part Seven, but I'm adding dialogue to that too to make the breaking point a tad bit more impactful. I've never really written dialogue before.

Warnings: Slight Yandere themes. Romantic Yandere. (Very subtle.)

Conner’s run-ins with Reader always seemed to piss Tim off. Especially after Tim started researching into Reader. He would occasionally always beg Tim to invite Reader to hang out. And, he would find himself rejected every single time. Before it was probably due to Tim being dramatic. Now, he certain of this, it's because Tim dramatic and jealous overprotective.

On other occasions, he'd just by pass Tim, leaving him to his cases (and creeping) so hecould sneak and bother reader. They’re kinda cute, in his opinion. Of course they call him a big city boy and said he clearly lived off of his daddy’s money. Which was only kind of wrong. But, they way they said it made his a trail of heat crawl down his spine.

After some time had passed, he knew that Tim and the other members of the family were suspicious about him coming to the manor so much. He never tried to hide his reasons There was no point in hiding behind weak excuses. He respected the Bats too much to even think he could fool them. Plus, lying to the Bats was a good way to get stabbed with a kryptonite knife. Even though they had made it pretty clear that they disapproved of him coming around so often, He was still going to keep visiting. Could they really blame him? It wasn’t his fault he was enamored so easily. 

He kept his distance just a bit. Like he was silently (commanded) requested. He could tell he made the newest addition to the family a bit uncomfortable. And, he understood. The clone thing was kinda freaky after all.

Well, at first he had assumed it was because he was a clone. That would make any normal person feel a bit weird. But, then he heard them keep call him that nickname. City boy. The way it rolled off their tongue and how often it was said was clearly a sign. They weren’t bothered by the clone thing. They just didn’t like his personality. He could fix that. That wasn’t that hard. He was adaptable.

So when he approached them again, for the million time, he tried to play up the cool and collected act. Going as far as to emulate the Batman. Which, surprising made the ice break. When they laughed at him.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

"No, seriously why are you acting like that?" You're still giggling at how hard he was trying to play up the serious act. Cause that's all it was. You don't doubt he could genuinely be serious for a moment, but this wasn't one of those moments.

"I'm just letting you see a different side of me, is all." Conner replies, trying to keep it up even though he had been quickly caught.

"You mean the imaginary side, city boy? I didn't realize you liked to play pretend." Another teasing snort. God, how you needed that laugh.

"I'm not pretending."

"Yeah, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"Yeah."

"No."

"Yes, you are. Don't be lyin' to me now. Or, Imma start gettin' upset."

"Okay, okay... How could you tell?" He conceded after a moment. The way he scratched the back of his head suited him much more than that little Oscar performance he was putting on a few seconds prior.

"I'm observant." Comes the mock arrogant reply. It was hard to give him a cold shoulder when he just made you laugh so genuinely in the last few weeks.

"Oh, look who's playing pretend now." The snark on his tongue doesn't have any heat, but it does bring you some relief. A bit of much needed normalcy.

Maybe it's the fact that the loneliness has slowly crawled into your chest and burrowed it's self deep in that hollow part of you, but it's easy to let your guard down around him for once. You had noticed his efforts to get to know you before, and maybe you let those preconceived notions cloud your little head. But, there was no need for them anymore. The twinge of glee he sparked was enough to burn them away and make you pause before you would rebuild those walls of yours.

"Are you saying I'm not observant?"

"Yep."

"The audacity!" The outrage nothing more than a sham. A simple way to fill the air between them. Cause even if the talk was small, just the hint of it filled something in you. That didn't make your curiosity fade, however. "But, seriously, why are you impersonating Bruce? And in his own house, no less."

The brief silence that washes over you both has you already regretting this. Had it really so long since you've had a proper conversation that you were this out of practice?

When he finally speaks again, it is gives you relief and more regret.

"I just wanted to finally get your attention."

Well, doesn't that make you finally fit in with the rest of your family?

Your tongue brushes over your teeth in an attempt to get the lead coating that made your words weigh heavy in your mouth off of it.

"I'm sorry, Conner. I- I've been smallminded haven’t I?"

"No, I get it. The whole clone thing is freaky." He starts, a light flush on his cheeks. He wasn't expecting an apology, and especially one so soon and so heartfelt.

"Oh, yeah, that... Really it didn't have anything to do with it. I kinda just thought you were a typical concrete jungle flirt. Momma warned me about men like you." You try to hide your sheepishness by adding humor to your voice, praying he catches your sincerity under all the different layers.

He catches something, judging by the beaming smile Conner gives you.

"Really? I had hoped it wasn't, ya know, that."

"Nah, nah. It wasn't. Still, I am sorry." You assume silence is about to befall the pair of you again, but he doesn't let it happen.

"My family owns a farm out in Kansas, you know?" The cheeky grin on his face screams that he's going to be getting his revenge in the form of mild bullying.

"No!" The resounding smack of your palm hitting your forehead nearly echoes in the halls. "I feel even worse now."

"So much for being observant, little detective."

"I never claimed to be no detective. But, I might be more... oblivious then I initially implied..."

Now, it's Conner's turn to guffaw at you.

"The audacity."

"Don't you throw my words back at my. I can't handle it." You can't help by click your tongue. There's hardly any annoyance from your words. "I really misjudged you."

"It's fine! I figured you might still be adjusting to Gotham and the whole Wayne lifestyle. Tim mentioned you're from a pretty small town when I started bugging him about you." He's clearly playing up the charm, but you let it work on you.

"More like I'm still suffering from culture shock." Slowly, you can feel this conversation starting to shift to something deeper than surface level. Things that haven't been allowed into the open air start to ripple underneath.

And, he takes that chance to draw it out.

"Still?" Empathy mixing into his tone. Those icy blue eyes looking incredibly warm. You'd never really taken the time to look at him. Sure, you knew he was attractive. Hell, everyone that seemed to show up at the manor was attractive. But, now you were finally looking at him. Too focused were you in taking in his appearance for the first time, that you completely missed the way those eyes shined with opportunity and desperate want.

"Yeah, still. It's... different."

"Different as in the food's a little weird or different as in the people are a little weird?"

"It's all a little weird, and it's... kinda... lonely?" You can't help the wince. You really don't wanna trauma dump on someone who you had initially misjudged. He didn't deserve that.

But, as he moves closer you can't help it. That desolate part of you longing for comfort when you haven't had it in such a long time and the way he's giving you all this undivided attention when you can barely catch Alfred in the halls these days fills that acute craving in your gut.

"Lonely?" God, the concern in his voice doesn't make you want to cry, but it does make you want to choke

"I... I think it's not here that's different. I think it's me that's too different." The way he sucks a breath in after the words leave your mouth makes you want to backtrack immediately. "I'm so sorry. God damn, am I mess right now."

"No. No. No. You are fine." The reassuring words oddly sound more like a purr, but they capture your attention all the same. "I get it. I really really do."

Why does he have to give you such a disarming smile. He's practically beaming at you now. There's a festering tension blooming around them like spores.

"You are really not helping me fell less like a jerk to you now." The click of your tongue attempting to defuse the budding blooms.

"Hey, if you're feeling guilt... you could, maybe... let me take you out for dinner sometime? Just to make it up to me."

After a stunned moment of thought, you finally find the words to reply.

" Honestly, I'd-"

"CONNER!" Tim's sudden interruption sends the words crawling back down your throat.

"Tim." He calls back in a cool greeting, but he strangely doesn't step back from you. Which is nice. You haven't had anyone close to you other than Dick and a few of your remaining friends at Gotham Academy. And Damian, Cassandra, and Duke get a bit huffy, or in Damian's case murdery, when they are within an arms reach of you.

"Sorry, am I interrupting anything? Conner and I had plans for the day." Tim's pleasant voice sends a wave of unease over you. He's not staring at you when he speaks. Just Conner. It's annoying how he's ignoring you despite you being right. In. Front. Of. Him.

But, then he does finally look at you and his dark grey eyes soften ever so slightly. You're not too mad. Clearly he's exhausted, judging by the bruises under his eyes. There's still a slight reflection in them as he's gaze meets yours, despite how dry the appear. Probably from looking at a computer too much.

"You really shouldn't bother with this guy. He's not worth it." The words are clearly meant to be joking. Casual banter between two close friends. But, you can't help thinking they come off a bit strong.

Conner seems to bristle at them, but he does brush them off.

"That's right, we are hanging out today. Can you blame me for getting distracted, though?" That cocky smirk of his is back, and he actually touches your shoulder. It makes you feels warm, but like a prize at the same time.

All Tim seems to do in response is twitch, but giving nothing away. His grey eyes going steely as they drift to Conner's hand.

When the moment finally passes, Conner lets his hand fall. You can feel it grazing down your back as he pulls away. Slow, like he's trying to strike a match and light something inside you.

"I'll see you later, sweetheart. Just think about my offer and get back to me on it!" Conner calls out as Tim storms behind him. Both heading in the direction of the library.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

As soon as their in the Batcave, Conner can tell he probably pushed it too far. Not that he has any regrets. He finally got somewhere and confirmed all of his previous theories about Reader. They were so adorable apologizing to him, and so deliciously sweet about it too.

He should've realized Tim was watching them, though. Dude was a creep. He maybe his best friend, but he's still a damn creep.

As expected, the rest of the family is also giving him the patented Bat-glare when he sees them. But, as he stated, he has no regrets. He's not stupid enough to stick around, though. He saw Jason loading a suspicious looking green bullet into the chamber of his gun. And, while he knows Tim wouldn't kill him, he's not so sure about the rest of them.

He's confirmed what he's wanted, what he's already suspected. They're absolutely perfect for him and ripe and raw.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

hello ari i am gently bonking your head with mine hehehe this is how we exchange ideas ok..... now that i've heard abt arisugu n arigojo first meetings.... i do need to know abt arikenny's first interaction now!!!!! and and and.... is.... is arishoko also a thing.... bc i think she would absolutely love you too like holy fuck you guys would work so well i feel like!!!!!!!!!!! why'd i immediately think of a first meeting that's like a little clumsy and cute?? like smth along the lines of you just bumping into her in like a coffee shop???? and you'd apologize over the shoulder and then she's just staring at you with that little devious smile of hers???? hehehe idk i feel like this could be canon ok anyway ily don't stay up too late my love!!!! mwah<3 - @teddybeartoji

HELLO MICKEY :33 this is us rn

okay so !!! i thought a Lot abt this one….. arishoko n arikenny are definitely the ones that r the least. Clear. in my mind. bUT i love them very dearly so!!!! we’ll see if i can make this cohesive 😭

FIRST OF ALLLL arishoko :33 it’s very very much a Thing honestly i think that. realistically. out of all four options shoko is the one i’d get together w irl… she’s just very much my type n i think i could charm her w my silly ways !!!!! but yes …..

OKAY SO I THINK. that. you’re absolutely right….. it’s a lot more soft n sweet than some of the other ones 😭 THE CAFE IDEA IS SOOOO CUTE cafe dates would be our standard for sure…… BUT I FEEL LIKE. we would meet. at a Bar. i don’t drink so i’d probably just be there accompanying a friend and i’m hating every second of it bc :// there r ppl around :/// the music is kinda loud and the lighting hurts my eyes :////// i’m just suffering and trying to read my lil book while my friends are dancing in the corner and ohhhh would you look at that…… a pretty girl is sitting rlly close to me…………. and i’m trying to subtly stare at her bc i’m enamored and. i think. she catches me in the act and i get flusteredPBDKDBDJD you get the vibes. i’m normal abt her.

so she strikes up a conversation …….. for SURE teases me abt coming to a bar just to read my gay little book and order sweet non-alcoholic drinks smh (may or may not make a throwaway comment abt how she has a friend who’s just like that… i’m forever thinking abt her calling gojo a big kid in one of the light novels bc she had to find a bar that sells non-alcoholic drinks for him LMAOO)…. and i am just. a little smitten. this is 100% an ari falls first kind of scenario i can’t resist the allure of a super pretty mysterious woman !!! :((((( and then i think she recommends a bar . that’s a lot more chill. that she likes. and she kinda just coaxes me into dating her i think 😭😭 i doooo see it as a slowburn but not nearly as much as the others shoko has me wrapped around her finger 💔💔

OH ANDDDD i should mention that i thought more abt the Lore both for arishoko and arigojo and!!!! i think that i’d probably be a non-sorcerer in both…. bc i think satoshoko in particular would rlly benefit from that ?? likeee shoko just meets someone outside of the school / jujutsu society and it’s just. a kind of normalcy that she doesn’t usually have!!! one that she finds rlly precious!!!! :((( and it’s the same w gojo but even worse bc i think he Craves normalcy. shoko already has canonical ties to non-sorcerers but gojo is kinda stuck in the jujutsu world so :’3 i feel like he’d meet a rando and just. fall for them very hard. they don’t know who he is, they don’t know he’s the strongest. to them he’s just. a Guy. and i think he loves that a lot. i’m just their Just Some Guy <333333 i think they’d both be reallyyyy adamant on Not getting me involved in their world at all. gojo introduces me to the students and shoko (begrudingly) introduces me to gojo when he crashes our date (😔) but it’s like. they’re protective … yk ……

…… this is already rlly long T—T BUT THE TRAIN NEVER STOPS i need to let it run its course…….

with that being said !!!! arikenny. the Forbidden selfship. the deranged version of arisugu. where do i even begin w this man….

honestly . this one is… yeah . i imagine it as an established relationship (<- very vaguely) bc it’s hard to picture Anyone capturing kenny’s attention w/o being reallyyyyy special 😭😭 which is why i have less thoughts on the Lore and more on the dynamic itself!!! but ummmm . i can picture us meeting in a coffee shop…. there’s this old wip i have where reader spots him sitting in a corner and eventually they start talking. abt the books they’re reading. nothing much just kenny picking their brain a little and yapping just to yap….. so i could picture it being kinda like that!! maybe i capture his attention somehow? 😭 it only really makes sense if i happen to be beneficial to his plan or something…? BUUT again i’m not super interested in the lore for this one!!!! so i’ll just talk a lil abt the dynamic hehe.

i just think. kenny is a freak. i’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure him out when it comes to x reader stuff bc i think his love is very unorthodox 😭 he’s just so detached yk?? buuut i think he can be very silly and affectionate in his own way :3 i fear he’s a Mother and a Father in one. in the worst of ways…. i could only picture him being in an Actual relationship w someone he views as his equal, but i don’t know if . that could ever apply to me LMAO. so if anything i think it’s similar to moji in that….. he just. finds a puppy in the pouring rain and brings it home. bc it’s kinda silly and good company. so maybe he does see me a little like. a Pet. kind of . I DOOO WANT TO SAY HE CARES FOR ME BUT. yk… he really wasn’t built for selfshipping. he’s a weirdo!! but i think it’s love at first sight for me…. i’m weak for milfs i fear 💔💔 and i think he does develop some kind of soft spot eventually :3 we’re. roommates. roommates who play board games and sleep in each others’ lap. roommates who kiss. i’d like to kiss his brain. WHO SAID THAT…

ok that was a big big ramble but !!!!! standard arimickey interaction let’s be real. it’s funny bc arishoko is so grounded somehow and arikenny is 💀💀 the way it is. i guess it’s sort of like a god/devout believer pairing … but without. the religious aspect. i think there’s very much a power dynamic involved this bitch is ANCIENT….. anyway that’s all tysm for reading my lovely sunflower baby <33333 i hope !! you’re having a nice day!!! ilyvm!!!!

[maxinewebs]

Billy Hargrove x Sweet Girl Reader

Billy Hargrove isn’t the nicest guy at Hawkins. From the moment he smashed his black boots onto the concrete of the school parking lot, everyone knew he’d be trouble. On Billy’s first day he had managed to make himself more enemies than he could count on one hand. Billy could be described confrontational, aggressive, but charming, and foxily sly. However, not a soul could describe him as kind. 

 On the other hand, Y/N L/N is the nicest girl in Hawkins. She’s outgoing, and bubbly, and unnecessarily kind. Within a week of transferring to Hawkins she had made plenty of friends, joined clubs, and even earned a spot on the Hawkins high varsity cheer squad. No one would ever imagine that a good girl like Y/N would look twice at a troublemaker like Billy. 

 Y/N and Billy stayed separated for a long time. That is, until Billy and she started to leave gym together. It was an odd sight, with Billy’s hair damp from a shower, sticking to his face with Y/N on his arm, looking as if she’d never broken a sweat. 

 Later, the strolls from gym turned into escorts to class, and then accompaniment to lunch, until finally Billy became Y/N ride to and from school. The change was gradual, but beside the two’s aesthetic differences, they were completely in sync. 

 Billy and Y/N were never officially an item, at least not to the rest of the school. But typically, they were both interrogated by friends about the matter. 

One day… “Y/N!” One of the cheerleaders trudged up to Y/N, pushing through a crowd of students filing into school. “Y/N! Hey girl!” Y/N turned around, smiling. “Hey Macy!” She replied. “Listen, how did you manage to snag a boytoy like Billy?” She giggled. “Oh I uh—“ Y/N was interrupted by Billy, throwing a cigarette down and stomping it into the concrete. “Y/N. Come on, let’s go.” He didn’t say where they were going, he just held out his arm for her with a sly grin to her friend. 

 It’s clear that Billy doesn’t care about the other girls interested in him, but by the way Macy acts towards Y/N, there is clear indication that Macy took an interest in Billy. “What was that about?” Billy would ask often, usually after overhearing someone question Y/N about their relationship. “Macy really wants to know what’s going on between us..” She bit her lip, squeezing Billy’s bicep as they walked to first period. “Leave her wanting to know more, it’s none of her business.” He grunted. 

 Billy has a reputation to uphold, but he does tend to act differently than usual when it comes to Y/N. Boys began to take notice from his group, but he’d brush it off. “You’re whipped, man.” Tommy Hagan clapped Billy on the shoulder in the locker room, after Billy had taken his normal speedy shower so he could see Y/N quicker. “Yeah, but Y/N’s a Betty, who wouldn’t be whipped if they got a chance to be with all that!” Another boy commented, smacking Tommy with a wet towel. Billy tended to shake off whatever comments he got, everyone knew that Billy did want he wanted anyway. 

 Shortly after Y/N and Billy get close, Billy joins the basketball team! Which is great, because the cheer squad and the basketball team usually practiced in the gym together. More often than not however, Y/N tends to get a bit distracted.. 

 Billy’s loudest supporter at basketball games is definitely Y/N! With pom poms waving and high kicks galore, she most definitely gives it her all when Billy is put in to play! But the support goes both ways, because as soon as Billy is benched (which isn’t often) he is sure to cheer her on, cockily announcing “that’s my girl!”

 When Billy and Y/N finally made it official, they turned into THE power couple at school. Every guy wanted to be Billy, and every girl wanted to be Y/N. However, it was obvious that they were completely enamored with each other. Y/N is just the one who outwardly shows affection— which is evident by the pink lipstick prints Billy wears like a badge of honor on his cheeks. 

 Billy doesn’t enjoy it when other guys hit on his girl though, and he’s one to cause a scene. But Y/N being as sweet as she is always tries her best to talk him down, and it usually works <3 Billy could be in the middle of beating a guy half to death, but as soon as “Billy..” leaves his love’s sweet tender lips, he’s up and shaking hands. 

 Overall, big and bad Billy Hargrove and his golden girl are the cutest <3 <3

[polyamorouspunk]

vent / crush stuff / jealousy idfk i was crying and now im pissed

i just got indirectly rejected by my crush *again* and im fucking miserable. and when i say indirectly i mean i did Not fucking initiate this im not like. repeatedly flirting w him or coming on to him despte him saying no. i never really have in the first place. my stupid fucking friends made another joke about us and he made it so clear that the chances of Us are in the fucking negative. Great. not like i didnt already *know* but fucking. great.

sometimes im so fucking resentful of my girlfriend. she realized she liked him after i did and started dating him a few months later which is a *feat* considering hes on the aromantic spectrum. shes just That fucking special i guess. shes white, blonde, oh so fragile, passes near perfectly, feminine, and is conventionally attractive in almost every way. everything i resent myself for not being. everyone and their mother is fucking enamored with her because shes cute and acts all blushy and shit. when *she* has a crush, its not seen as a threat, and everyone wants to help her. i thought *i* could try out the fluttery and lovesick routine for once a few months ago but i had to stop bc talking abt my crush was only causing problems, including the fact that she got jealous abt us being good friends, despite yk *her being the one dating him* :))))))

god i wish i could be content with the friendship we have. i think friendship can be just important as romance or more but thats really hard to actually GET in the real fuckin world because society is so obsessed wih amatonormativity. the one example i had of irl super valuable platonic love was my gf and... someone shes now started dating 🙃. (someone whos made her strong boundaries against romance SUPER clear in the past! but i guess! my gf! is that fucking special!!)

there is no fucking hope for me. i dont even care abt kissing and shit. i just want physical affection and to be valued highly by someone. i want to be able to say i love you. why the hell is that not allowed.

ughh. super long ask. thanks for reading it.

I’m so sorry that sounds awful. Have you tried talking to either of them about it without admitting it’s because you have feelings for him? I mean I would hope that any decent friend/partner would respect if you don’t like any kind of joke they make, in a romantic sense or not.

There’s a reason I’ve never dated anyone else polyam before and that’s been my jealousy issues, so I get the idea of resenting your partner for having something you want but can’t have, and I’m really sorry.

And if you like someone romantically it can be hard to be happy with something platonic, and there’s no shame in that! Because, yeah, as much as we preach that friendships are just as important as romantic relationships, but you’re right how much is that actually the case, as much as we say it should be? There’s a push for it for a reason: it’s not the norm.

I hope things change and get better for you in one way or another.

[cxndiedheart]

His Golden Girl

Billy Hargrove x Golden girl! Reader

Imagine big bad Billy Hargrove with a sweet lil’ thang <3

—————————

Billy Hargrove isn’t the nicest guy at Hawkins. From the moment he smashed his black boots onto the concrete of the school parking lot, everyone knew he’d be trouble. On Billy’s first day he had managed to make himself more enemies than he could count on one hand. Billy could be described confrontational, aggressive, but charming, and foxily sly. However, not a soul could describe him as kind.

On the other hand, Y/N L/N is the nicest girl in Hawkins. She’s outgoing, and bubbly, and unnecessarily kind. Within a week of transferring to Hawkins she had made plenty of friends, joined clubs, and even earned a spot on the Hawkins high varsity cheer squad. No one would ever imagine that a good girl like Y/N would look twice at a troublemaker like Billy.

Y/N and Billy stayed separated for a long time. That is, until Billy and she started to leave gym together. It was an odd sight, with Billy’s hair damp from a shower, sticking to his face with Y/N on his arm, looking as if she’d never broken a sweat.

Later, the strolls from gym turned into escorts to class, and then accompaniment to lunch, until finally Billy became Y/N ride to and from school. The change was gradual, but beside the two’s aesthetic differences, they were completely in sync.

Billy and Y/N were never officially an item, at least not to the rest of the school. But typically, they were both interrogated by friends about the matter.

One day… “Y/N!” One of the cheerleaders trudged up to Y/N, pushing through a crowd of students filing into school. “Y/N! Hey girl!” Y/N turned around, smiling. “Hey Macy!” She replied. “Listen, how did you manage to snag a boytoy like Billy?” She giggled. “Oh I uh—“ Y/N was interrupted by Billy, throwing a cigarette down and stomping it into the concrete. “Y/N. Come on, let’s go.” He didn’t say where they were going, he just held out his arm for her with a sly grin to her friend.

It’s clear that Billy doesn’t care about the other girls interested in him, but by the way Macy acts towards Y/N, there is clear indication that Macy took an interest in Billy. “What was that about?” Billy would ask often, usually after overhearing someone question Y/N about their relationship. “Macy really wants to know what’s going on between us..” She bit her lip, squeezing Billy’s bicep as they walked to first period. “Leave her wanting to know more, it’s none of her business.” He grunted.

Billy has a reputation to uphold, but he does tend to act differently than usual when it comes to Y/N. Boys began to take notice from his group, but he’d brush it off. “You’re whipped, man.” Tommy Hagan clapped Billy on the shoulder in the locker room, after Billy had taken his normal speedy shower so he could see Y/N quicker. “Yeah, but Y/N’s a Betty, who wouldn’t be whipped if they got a chance to be with all that!” Another boy commented, smacking Tommy with a wet towel. Billy tended to shake off whatever comments he got, everyone knew that Billy did want he wanted anyway.

Shortly after Y/N and Billy get close, Billy joins the basketball team! Which is great, because the cheer squad and the basketball team usually practiced in the gym together. More often than not however, Y/N tends to get a bit distracted..

Billy’s loudest supporter at basketball games is definitely Y/N! With pom poms waving and high kicks galore, she most definitely gives it her all when Billy is put in to play! But the support goes both ways, because as soon as Billy is benched (which isn’t often) he is sure to cheer her on, cockily announcing “that’s my girl!”

When Billy and Y/N finally made it official, they turned into THE power couple at school. Every guy wanted to be Billy, and every girl wanted to be Y/N. However, it was obvious that they were completely enamored with each other. Y/N is just the one who outwardly shows affection— which is evident by the pink lipstick prints Billy wears like a badge of honor on his cheeks.

Billy doesn’t enjoy it when other guys hit on his girl though, and he’s one to cause a scene. But Y/N being as sweet as she is always tries her best to talk him him down, and it usually works <3 Billy could be in the middle of beating a guy half to death, but as soon as “Billy..” leaves his love’s sweet tender lips, he’s up and shaking hands.

Overall, big and bad Billy Hargrove and his golden girl are the cutest <3 <3

[kurosukii]

𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞

pairing: oikawa tooru x f!reader

summary: there’s no one you hate more on this earth than your school’s cocky volleyball captain, and being paired with him for a class project just honestly takes the cake. 

genre: college au, enemies to enemies fucking au.

warnings: 18+. hate sex (oiks is a meanie here but so are you, kinda), slight size kink, against the wall sex, facetiming (noncon to dubcon), exhibitionism (noncon to dubcon), voyeurism (noncon to dubcon), dacryphilia, ass play, multiple orgasms (oiks has mad stamina), degradation, slight praise, face-fucking, oral (m receiving), tit-fucking, unprotected sex, overstimulation, squirting, spanking, dirty talk, humiliation, dumbification, spitting, cumplay, creampie, hair pulling, pet names (bunny), implied seijoh four x reader

word count: 6.9k

author’s note: not much to say about this other than i’m a SEIJOH FOUR WHORE!!!! (let me know if i missed any warnings) (MINORS DNI)

[2:11 PM]

you honestly think the world hates you.

you tried your hardest to stifle your groan and not slam your head on the desk when the professor called out your name with your self-proclaimed “enemy”, oikawa tooru, for the project that was worth forty percent of your grade this semester.

when class ended, you marched ‘respectfully’ to your professor to negotiate if you can work on this project alone, but even before a word even slipped out of your mouth, your professor raised their eyebrow at you, sensing what you were going to say and just said “just deal with it” and “stop acting like a high school student”.

well, that was an ice cold bucket of reality that was just poured on you.

you were definitely acting like a high school student, and the cause of your behavior was none other than one of your school’s most obnoxious athletes, oikawa tooru.

seriously, there was just something about him that irked you so much. maybe it’s an accumulation of all his actions, his smugness, and the way he turns his nose on everyone, but all the girls and guys seemed to keep running back to him. everyone saw him as the ‘perfect king’, but you knew better. at least, you seemed to think so.

sometimes, you’d feel embarrassed at the way you were feeling and acting. you were raised to be a respectful person with good manners and conduct, so every time you get the pep talk from the imaginary angel on your shoulder, you’d try your best to be amicable with oikawa for every interaction since you shared multiple classes with him. but every time you did so, oikawa would end up doing something that broke your resolve and you were back to square one again. it seemed like the guy got off to annoying the shit out of you and making your day terrible.

with the professor long gone from the lecture room, you were left alone with your thoughts, up until you heard someone click their tongue. you shook your head as you turned to the source of the sound.

“aw, do you not want to be paired with me that badly? i’m not that bad! i’m going to help you do the work if that’s what you’re so worried about, sweetheart,” oikawa taunted in that lilting voice of his, with brown eyes glinting in mischief as he tossed his hair back.

“fuck off, tooru. just don’t slack off on this project or i’ll kick your ass,” you threatened him, anger slowly rising. he laughed at you, mirth making his eyes disappear. your lips thinned to a line as your anger increased.

you called him by his first name, not bothering with the respect (if he even deserved that) that came with addressing someone with their family name since you ‘hated’ his guts anyway, but somewhere deep down, you called him tooru because you like the way it sounded.

you liked the way it fell from your lips with a sigh whenever you touched yourself in the privacy of your room. the post nut clarity always hits you hard after orgasming with his face in your mind. maybe that’s why you pretended to hate him so much, because you were really just like the other girls. you were just as enamored by him as the other fangirls were, only they embraced it while you still denied it. nevertheless, the hornier you felt for him, the easier it was to channel that into anger and exasperation against him.

meanwhile, you didn’t notice it, as you were too busy in your own bubble, but his eyes darkened when he heard his given name slip from your lips. he’s more accepting of his desire for you, fucking his fist nearly every night with the thought of you underneath him, begging him to fuck that naughty pussy of yours to oblivion.

oh he knew that you were just putting up a front, and he let you. he knew it in the way your stares would linger and change into something deeper—more carnal. you thought he wouldn’t notice.

but he did.

he notices everything about you just like how he notices every play on the court. he relishes in it, practically keeping a tally in his head, so when he finally gets to pound your cunt, he’d confront you about it, and there’s nothing you can do about but accept his cock and his words.

he shook his head from his dark, carnal thoughts and slowly walked towards you, shoulders tightening as he fought the urge to slam you down on the table and fuck your cunt and make you scream so loud that people will come running.

you stood your ground as you looked up at him, which is a feat because you were damn near shaking and the tightening coil in your lower stomach was not helping either.

damn you oikawa tooru, you growled in your head.

he leaned down towards you until your noses were almost touching, with his bubblegum breath fanning your face and chocolate eyes boring into your own. “don’t worry sweetheart, i’m not going to let you do this on your own. what kind of guy would i be if i let you slave over this without my help? tsk, that wouldn’t be very gentlemanly of me, now would it?” he says as he straightened his body, with attitude and face going back to his usual demeanor, different from the one before.

you sucked in a breath as he pulled away and he smirked at you. “see you later at 7pm, sweetheart. you know where my place is, don’t you?” he asked you absentmindedly, making your blood boil at the audacity of him expecting you knew where he lived, and you did, but that’s besides the point. he was just so fucking obnoxious.

you scoffed an affirmative at him which made his smirk grow wider. “count the hours until you get to see me again, darling. i know i will,” he winked salaciously as he turned his back on you, wiggling his fingers as a sign of goodbye. you didn’t bother to grace him with a respectful farewell. instead, you raised your middle finger at him that was accompanied by a glare.

he just laughed at you, “always so mad at me, sweetheart. maybe you need to remove some of that tension,” his gaze smoldered, eyes turning into molten brown.

you involuntarily gulped as he slowly looked you up and down. he made eye contact with you, eyes still dark, as he licked his lips. he looked like he was about to pounce on you and devour you. It took him every ounce of his focus and self-control before his lips curved into his i’m so perfect and you’re not smile and blew you a kiss as he finally walked off to his next class.

you bit your tongue to prevent yourself from screaming as you cursed oikawa in your head to hell and back. the nerve of this dickhead, you thought to yourself. you grumbled more to yourself as you hiked your bag over your shoulder and walked out of the lecture room. you were done for the day and despite what oikawa thinks, you weren’t going to count the hours until you get to be in his apartment with him. alone.

but then again, all you did was lie to yourself wherever he was concerned, because you definitely didn’t twiddle your thumbs for five hours, took a shower and shaved, basically pampered yourself to look good and decent for him. no, you definitely didn’t do any of that for him.

if you were paired with another person, you would have definitely arrived ten minutes before the set time, but because it was oikawa, you took your sweet time going to his apartment, annoyance brewing. what was so wrong with living on campus? you asked yourself along the way, which made you even more annoyed because he didn’t even offer to pick you up at the train station. not that he needed to, but the courtesy would’ve been nice and it would’ve made you see him differently, but he didn’t do any of that so you’re stuck stomping your way to his apartment building.

“are you sure about this, oikawa? makki and i don’t mind having front row seats to this shit,” mattsun smirked, arms resting on the back of the couch in the spacious apartment. oikawa invited them to hang out after practice because he said he had a “surprise” for them.

“don’t know about the other one there, though,” mattsun nodded to iwaizumi who was brooding by the floor to ceiling window, arms crossed as he raised his eyebrow at mattsun. “maybe he wants in on it,” makki piped which made all three of them laugh at iwaizumi while he just told all of them to fuck off. he didn’t want to admit it, but he wanted to see you put in your place as well.

he wouldn’t have given a fuck about your petty and sexual tension-filled issues with his captain, but you also gave him grief whenever he was with oikawa and what better way than to witness, and probably have a hand in, seeing you begging and whining for your cunt to be filled with cum?  

“don’t worry guys, you’ll definitely have your turns,” oikawa’s eyes glinted as he smirked at his friends. “looks like little bunny is running late,” he checked his wall clock and tutted to himself.

sheesh, guess the king really does live lavishly, you grumbled to yourself as you stared at the intimidating complex. most college students are broke, live in school sponsored dormitories, and survive on store bought ramen, but oikawa obviously isn’t like most college students. you shook your head at the clear social divide and pushed through the spinning doors, the cool air of the lobby blowing into your face as you shivered from the temperature.

you walked up to the receptionist’s desk–of course there’s a receptionist–and you asked her what floor and room number oikawa’s apartment was. you just about thanked her when your phone pinged so you took it out and checked the message.

“you’re running late, little bunny. might have to punish you for this.”

your legs squirmed as you felt your panties dampen at oikawa’s text. your clothes seemed hotter now and you pulled at your collar. you cleared your throat and nodded to the receptionist as you walked to the elevator.

before you knew it, you found yourself before oikawa’s door. you were about to knock but it opened, revealing his shirtless form. you gulped and couldn’t help but stare at his lithe body, with droplets of water slowly trickling down his abdomen and disappearing through the waistband of his sweatpants. you raised your eyes to meet his. he was smirking at you, his smug face satisfied with your perusal of him. he was drying his damp hair with a towel, and it made his biceps ripple. why does he have to be so goddamn obnoxious and hot.

“are you done staring at me bunny? as much as i love your gaze on my body, that’s not what you’re here for, unless…?” he taunted you, his body lazily leaning against the doorframe as his tongue slowly licked the bottom of his lip as he stared at you this time. you scoffed at him, and didn’t bother to wait for his invitation inside his apartment.

you lightly shoved him, careful not to make most of your skin touch, which was a feat since he was naked from the waist up. “you wish, tooru. stop being stupid and let’s get this done and over with,” you muttered in annoyance, standing in the middle of his living room with your arms crossed and quietly observing your surroundings. “and don’t call me bunny!” you snarled at him, eyes meeting his glowing brown ones.

“i’ll call you anything i want to, bunny, and seeing that you’re in my home, you don’t get to have the privilege to order me around here, understand?” he warned you, voice lowering by a few octaves. if you had a tail, it would’ve been tucked between your legs by now. you bit your tongue and nodded at him with your eyes lowered. he smiled devilishly at you and turned his still shirtless body in the direction of what you presumed to be his room.

“let’s do this in my room, bunny. i have everything we need there,” you followed him without a word, realising that you were indeed powerless here. you didn’t notice the smug smile he was sporting, however, because his muscular back was turned to you. each step to his bedroom was a step closer to what he and by extension, his friends, had in store for you.

you entered his room and you marveled at his king size bed that was covered in navy blue sheets. there was a tall shelf against the off white walls that was filled with a few alien and ufo figurines, trophies, and framed pictures of him and his team.

you turned to him to ask about what he wanted to do until you felt him loom over you. he looked at you like you were his prey and he was the predator, which was not a far cry because you really did feel like a bunny and he was the big bad wolf. his dark eyes seared into your body as you felt your heartbeat quicken.

in one blink, he had you on your back on the soft bed with your wrists pinned together with one big hand as he nuzzled his nose on your neck and inhaled. “you smell so good, bunny. did you clean yourself up for me?” he hummed and shamelessly snaked out his tongue to lick a stripe on your neck which made you squeal at the hot and wet muscle against your skin. “taste good too,” he chuckled, the vibrations and heat of his breath making your spine tingle and arousal grow.

his timing was impeccable, he pinned you down before you even had the chance to notice the phone propped on the table beside his bed, with a fancy desktop where a few books laid askew, and his friends staring intently from the small screen. mattsun opened his mouth and before he could break the tension, makki slapped his hand over it and quietly shushed him. iwaizumi was too transfixed at the situation before him to reprimand mattsun for almost interrupting.

“t-tooru! get off—” you weren’t able to finish your sentence before oikawa bit the skin of your neck to quiet you down. “you should be honest with yourself, you know? i know how you look at me,” he teased you, slowly kissing down your body through your shirt. 

“not so feisty now, hm? you’re so putty in my hands,” he rose to his knees on the bed and let go of your wrists. you raised your arm to slap him on the face but he caught it, he also grabbed your other arm and slightly squeezed them as a sign of warning. “there she is, my feisty little girl,” he smirked down at you. his brown hair glistening in the low light of his bedroom as his dark eyes glinted at you.

he transferred your other wrist to his one hand as he slowly untied the strings on his sweatpants. you didn’t miss the growing bulge in pants, cock hardening at what was about to happen. you swallowed the lump in your throat because after so many nights of fantasizing and imagining, you’re going to finally see what he would look like under all those clothes.

“you want my cock? of course you do, your eyes are practically dripping with greed,” he mocked you, his hand slowly lowering his pants until his naked cock sprang free and bounced on his abdomen. fuck, he wasn’t wearing any underwear. your pussy gushed at the thought of him lounging around his apartment with only a thin fabric separating his cock from exposure.

“got nothing to say, hm? i was hoping you’d run your mouth just so i could have the excuse of shutting you up with my cock,” he taunted, eyes studying your face as a smirk stretched his lips. “did seeing my cock shut you up? i do have a pretty cock, don’t i?” he questioned you rhetorically.

you hated it because he was right. his cock was as pretty as him and it was enough to swallow on the words rising from your throat. it wasn’t overly girthy but you knew that it would still cause damage just by watching it pulse and throb, with pre-cum leaking from its tip.

“i’m going to let go of your hands now, slutty bunny, and you’re going to suck my cock until i fill your throat and mouth with my hot cum,” he told you in a matter of fact tone, and you really wished your weak self would protest and shove him away and bolt from his apartment to disappear from the face of the earth, but you couldn’t deny this opportunity, couldn’t deny yourself anymore, and oikawa knew that. he’s playing you like a fiddle and you’re absolutely falling for it.

he let go of your hands and you immediately gripped his cock, the other one holding on to his muscled thigh for balance. you licked one long line on the underside of his shaft before going back to suck the pre-cum on his tip. he tightly closed his eyes as he groaned, putting one hand on the back of your head and felt his thigh tense at the stimulation brought by your tongue.

your lips curled into a smug smile at oikawa’s reaction. he noticed it and glared down at you, he was about to say something before you widened your mouth to fit his entire cock in one go. you slightly gagged when he hit the back of your throat. oikawa threw his head back as he let out a long and loud moan, cock twitching in the heat and wetness of your mouth.

determined to make oikawa lose his shit, you started bobbing your head as you licked and sucked on his throbbing cock, maintaining eye contact with him. his lips were parted as he stared down at your moving head, eyes smoldering and grip tightening. you watched as his chest heaved up and down, his breathing becoming heavier.

oikawa lightly shook his head to get rid of the haze your mouth put him in and squeezed the roots of your hair. you moaned in pain while you narrowed your eyes at him. just when you were about to give him a lashing, he cut you off.

“my cock may be in your mouth but this is not your time to shine, bunny. you do have a good mouth on you, but i’m here to fuck that mouth until you learn your place,” he growled at you, the vein in his temple pulsing as he tried to regain control.

you didn’t even have time to think before he pulled out and slammed his cock back inside your mouth, balls hitting your chin. you cried around his cock as your eyes immediately watered at the sudden force of his thrust. you squeezed his thighs as a sign for him to settle before he fucked your mouth like a fleshlight.

unfortunately, he only gave you a few moments to get used to his size before his hands bundled your hair into a makeshift ponytail and used them as leverage to fuck his cock in and out of your mouth. he groaned as he watched the tears from your eyes fall around your full cheeks as you moaned like a whore with his cock in your mouth.

“i bet you touch yourself to the thought of me, huh?” he taunted you, not stopping from his thrusts. you whined pathetically and felt slick from your cunt wet your panties. “fuck, you do. just how much of a slutty hypocrite are you? all you do is lie to yourself-shit, that’s good–and pretend to hate me when you’re just like everyone else,” he growled, thrusting deep until he hit the back of your throat, clearly frustrated with your actions. you were slobbering all over his cock, saliva and pre-cum staining your face with how fast he was thrusting, while it dripped on the sheets below you.

his groans grew louder and his thrusts became sloppier as he neared his orgasm. you so badly wanted to touch yourself but with the way you were positioned, you’d end up choking on oikawa’s cock if you removed your hands from his thighs. instead, you tried your best to ignore the growing ache in your pussy.

“swallow all my cum, you slutty whore,” he ordered you, voice straining as he delivered one final thrust inside of your mouth before you felt the warm spurts of his cum paint the insides of your mouth and throat. you moaned at the heat, your mouth so full of his cock and cum that you tapped his thigh to give you room to breathe. thankfully, he pulled out his cock with a pop as you inhaled loudly, throat raw from the fucking it experienced.

even if he didn’t tell you, you would’ve swallowed his cum to try and make a statement. he gripped your chin as he inspected your mouth, eyes flashing in satisfaction when he saw your mouth empty. “that’s a good fucking girl,” he said, thumb going inside of your mouth as he pushed on your tongue. you closed your eyes as you breathed heavily, hands hanging limply on your thighs.

oikawa seized the opportunity to swiftly look at his phone, smirking at his friends when he noticed them shifting uncomfortably. iwaizumi flipped him off and oikawa just winked at him.

he turned back to you with your eyes still closed, stealthily blocking your view of his phone as he pulled his thumb from your mouth and licked it. his cock was still hard, owing to the pent-up tension that you have been giving him ever since day one.

he shoved you so your back landed on the bed as he straddled your waist, kicking off the rest of his sweatpants and chucking them to the floor. you opened your eyes as you yelped at the sudden movement, wondering what the fuck he was going to do now.

“what are you do–” you questioned him, but before you could finish, he ripped your shirt into two pieces. your eyes widened in protest as your sports bra-clad chest was exposed to him. “i’m going to fuck these pretty tits, whore,” he said as he squeezed your breasts together and groped them, making your nipples harden into peaks.

you moaned at his touch, finally feeling some stimulation on your body after aching for so long. he lowered his head down to your chest and started sucking on your nipple through the fabric. you threw your head back on his pillow and whined, his hard cock grinding on your thigh at the sounds you were making. he sucked and licked until your back arched to him, silently begging for more.

he raised his head from your chest which made you whimper at the loss of warmth. he looked wild, like he was a man on a mission.

his large hands reached for your bra and stretched the fabric until your tits were exposed to the cool air of his room. you moaned at the feeling of being exposed to oikawa, he stared at your hardened nipples, watching as his cock twitched against his abdomen. you watched his adam’s apple bob until you saw his mouth open. he spit on the valley between your breasts, string connecting from his lips. you moaned at the obscenity of his actions, spit feeling cold and thick as it ran down your chest.

he groaned at the sight, one hand guiding his cock under your bra and inserting himself between your tits. once he settled in between them, he squeezed them together to create that tightness. it wasn’t enough but he’s been wanting to fuck your tits, and it���s finally happening now. he thrusted and groaned at the softness of your breasts squeezing his cock.

his cockhead hit your chin, making it wet with your saliva mixed with his cum. your body rocked along with his thrusts, hearing him grunt and moan as he squeezed and fucked your tits. you wanted to touch yourself, but he was holding you down so you couldn’t reach your pussy. his thrusts became faster and your breasts became wetter as he neared his second orgasm of the night.

you watched him and you became even more annoyed because even in the throes of passion, he was still so pretty. pink lips parted as he breathed loudly, brown eyes darkening the more he looked at you, and that drop of sweat from his neck going down his defined chest.

“g-gonna cum bunny, fuck,” he grunted loudly, head thrown back as his cock spilled his cum and landed on your chin, neck, and chest. he stopped moving and stared at his work in amazement. you glared at him, because although he looked divine when he came, you still hadn’t experienced any type of relief for the night.

“tooru, i’m starting to think you can’t make a girl cum,” you raised your eyebrow in defiance, looking at him boredly, arms supporting you as you lifted your body in a sitting position. “all you did was pleasure yourself. do you even know how to pleasure a girl?” you taunted him, displeasure clearly written over your face. he watched your expression and smirked to himself.

the nerve of this guy.

“oh bunny, i can definitely pleasure you and make you cum. several times, in fact,” he said, eyes tracing his finger as he spread his cum all over your chest. “i just had the foresight to let myself cum twice because if i went straight to fucking you, you’d pass out before i even got my fill of you,” he purred, cock twitching again.

“and i want you to be aware of everything i’m going to do to your body,” he ended his statement with a pinch to your nipple. you yelped at the sting and swatted his hand away. he let out a low laugh before he grabbed your hips and abruptly flipped you over to your stomach.

“let’s remove these pesky shorts, shall we?” he said as he slapped your ass hard. you squealed at the pain, almost forgetting that he’s a volleyball captain and you’ve seen how lethal his serves can be. but you know that he’s not putting all of his strength in that slap. he laughed at your reaction and slapped the other cheek of your ass before pulling your shorts down and throwing it to the floor, eyes subtly flicking to the table.

“pretty ass wearing pretty panties,” he whispered, his index finger tracing the white lace of your panties. your face flushed in embarrassment because you know he’s thinking that you wore those for him. you did, but you’re never going to admit that.

never in a million years.

“your reaction tells me all i need to know, bunny. you definitely wore these for me,” he growled, his large hand coming down to your ass again as you cried at the pain. he watched the plumpness of your ass jiggle before he landed a few more consecutive slaps on the skin.

satisfied with the redness of your ass and the whimpering that came out of your mouth, he tore your panties into two flimsy pieces. he slowly removed them from your pussy, your wetness clinging on to them and forming a string. “can’t wait to fuck this dirty pussy, bunny,” he groaned as he watched it, cock pulsing at the tip.

he didn’t even bother removing your cum stained bra before he pulled your hips up until you were on your knees. he pushed his hand on your lower back, forming a deep arch until you bared your wet pussy to him. leaving one hand on your hip, he guided his throbbing cock to your clenching pussy and ran his tip along your folds. both of you moaned at the stimulation, sensitivity running down your bodies. you gulped at how he was going to make himself fit.

he stopped at your clenching hole before he pushed the tip in, squeezing your hip as he groaned, feeling the tightness around his head. you were about to thrust yourself on his cock because he was taking his sweet time before he shoved himself, making the both of you cry out as he bottomed out in your pussy. he gave an experimental roll of his hips which made your pussy flutter around his cock. he moaned at the sensation, bracing both of his hands on your hips.

he pulled back out and thrusted harder this time, drawing out a moan from you at the force and fisted the sheets in your hands. he began snapping his hips against your ass as you moaned louder.

“look at how my cock’s splitting you,” he grunted, eyes trained at how his cock was disappearing in your cunt. “swallowing my cock like it’s nobody’s business. your fingers aren’t enough. no, you need my cock,” he hissed as he punctuated each word with a hard thrust. he slapped your ass every time he thrusted back in, the double stimulation making you moan like a whore.

his obsession with your ass didn’t stop there. he stopped spanking your ass and centered on the puckered ring that was slightly clenching. he tilted his head to the side and stared at it in wonder. he gathered the saliva in his mouth as he spat on it. you squealed at the new sensation, body rubbing against the bed as he brought his thumb to play with the tight ring, an area you never dared to touch.

“t-tooru, that’s dirty!” you cried out in indignation, trying to squirm away from his finger, but you couldn’t because his cock was drilling your pussy to the bed.

“so? it’s perfect for a fucking dirty girl like you,” he growled, thinking twice if he should insert his thumb in your asshole, but he decided not to. he figured you weren’t ready for that, yet.

he removed his finger from your asshole as he gripped your hips to fuck you even harder, clearly frustrated that he wasn’t able to plunge his thumb in your ass. you moaned at the harshness of his thrusts as he pushed on the back of your neck to the bed. you whined at the pressure, switching your head to the side as you focused on oikawa’s brutal thrusts. that was when you noticed a phone on the table, seeing three red faces peering at you.

“oh my god, are they watching us?!” your eyes widened as you cried out. oikawa looked to the side and chuckled. “took you long enough. they were starting to feel lonely because you weren’t noticing them–fuck, that’s a good pussy,” he hissed as he felt your cunt tighten around his cock.

“why don’t you scream for them as well, hm?” he said as he delivered a particularly hard thrust that made you moan loudly while looking at his friends. iwa, makki, and mattsun groaned at your reaction, shifting their pants as they stayed in their respective places in the next room.

“t-tooru, please turn off your phone!” you cried, tears streaming down your face as you felt shame, embarrassment, and surprisingly, arousal creeping up your sweaty body. were you getting turned on by his friends watching your pussy get fucked?

“fuck, you’re so pretty when you cry,” he groaned as he spanked your ass once more, thrusting harder as he felt your cunt squeeze the shit out of his cock, clearly enjoying the fact that you were getting excited about being watched.

“and besides, i don’t think you really want me to. i think you like getting fucked stupid for my friends to see,” oikawa taunted you, his hands squeezing the fat of your hips. he moved your bodies so you were facing his phone head on, your fucked out face clear for them to watch. you lowered your head to save some of your dignity but he pulled your hair, neck straining as he showed your face to show them.

“tsk, don’t hide your face from them, bunny, let them see how good i’m fucking you,” he said as he looked at his phone, smirking at his friends who glared at him, clearly wanting to leave and bust the door down just to prove him wrong.

“after all, you are an attention whore. i’m just giving you what you want,” he whispered as he leaned down to bite the lobe of your ear. you whined at his strong thrusts, slick from your pussy sliding down your thighs.

“maybe you want them to come in here after i’m done with you and use you as a cum dumpster, do you want that?” he asks, hips thrusting hard as his balls hit your sopping cunt. you whined at his statement, hands gripping the sheets as your vision blurred from the pleasure.

“y-yes i want that! shit, t-tooru, feels so fucking good,” you whined, brain turning into mush as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. your legs were starting to tremble as your orgasm was fast approaching. oikawa knew you were going to cum so he pulled your hair harder and leaned down to whisper in your ear, his sweaty torso covering the expanse of your back.

“it’s okay, you can say it, tell me you love the way i’m fucking this filthy pussy. you’re the only one who doesn’t want to admit it,” he growled in your ear as he furiously played with your clit, making the knot in your stomach threaten to burst from his ministrations.

“i l-love the way you’re f-fucking me tooru! so fucking good, yes—!” you screamed as you came all around his cock, body shaking from the intense orgasm. oikawa groaned loudly as he filled you up with his cum, yours mixing with his. you moaned at the warmth in your pussy, breathing heavily as you tried to regain your senses. he came so much that it was sliding down your legs and staining his sheets.

you looked up at his phone and saw his friends staring at you with their jaws dropped. you would laugh at how comical they looked if you hadn’t just experienced the best fucking of your life, though you’ll never say that to oikawa. ever. you sighed instead, feeling icky with all the cum on and in your body.

you were about to lay on your back until oikawa carried you off the bed and slammed you against the wall, his hand cushioning your head from the hard cement. you yelped as your head spinned from the sudden movement.

“oh? you thought we were done? i promised to make you cum several times, didn’t i?” he smirked at you. you were amazed at his strength, his biceps flexing as he wrapped your still shaking legs around his waist. he didn’t even give you time to breathe before he plunged his hard cock inside your leaking pussy. fuck, this man’s stamina is endless.

you moaned wantonly as he pistoned his hips in and out of your cunt, hands squeezing the back of your thighs. your sweaty back was sliding against the wall as your body moved up and down, hands holding his shoulders for support. you noticed that you were still wearing your bra and it made you uncomfortable at the restriction it was causing to your tits.  

“we want to see her tits, oikawa!” mattsun exclaimed. he was practically bouncing in his seat in excitement. iwaizumi didn’t stop him because he wanted to see your breasts too.

oikawa  smirked, “you heard what he said, wanna show these tits to them?” you nodded frantically, embarrassment nowhere to be found as you removed your hands from his shoulders, finally removing the stained fabric from your chest. oikawa squeezed them with one big hand as soon as they were exposed causing all of them to collectively groan at the sight while oikawa continued fucking you.

“you walk around hating me only for you to end up getting fucked by my cock?” he growled at you as he ended his sentence with a hard thrust. “how pathetic and cock-hungry you must be. such a fucking whore.” you whined at his words, not being able to say anything because it was true. you were a cock-hungry whore for him, and you loved how he was fucking you with pent-up anger and frustration.

he squeezed your hips tighter, all the accumulated fluids in between you making lewd squelching sounds as you neared your orgasm once again. “to–tooru, fuck!” you screamed, cunt clenching as his cock hit your sweet and sensitive spot, walls fluttering around him.

“cum for me, whore,” he growled as he lowered his head to bite your neck. you came with a scream as you left red lines on his shoulders. his thrusts slowed down as he set your shaking legs down to the floor. he was still inside of you as he leaned his forehead down to yours, eyes closed as a drop of sweat fell from his hairline. his defined chest heaved as he fought to catch his breaths.

he carried you back to the bed with his cock still inside you. you thought he was going to pull out until he grabbed your limp legs and put them on his shoulders. you moaned at the new position, weakly trying to push him away because you were so tired. “n-no more tooru, t-too sensitive!” you weakly protested, hands trying to push yourself away from him.

“i think your dirty cunt can give me one more orgasm, hm? can you be a good whore and do that for me?” he cooed at you, thumbs slightly rubbing your ankles. you softly nodded at him, enamored by his sparkling brown eyes, or were you just drunk on his cum and musky scent? either way, his cock was too good to deny, even if your pussy was already close to being numb.

he smiled devilishly at you, he hugged your legs closer to his body as he started thrusting once more. you were practically incoherent, mouth sputtering unintelligible words and high pitched whines as oikawa rode your pussy. he let one leg fall off his shoulder as he gripped the headboard, mattress squeaking from his deep thrusts.

you watched as a drop of sweat fell from his neck and travelled down his chest and abdomen to mix with your joined bodies. you were so wet and slick down there that every thrust oikawa made only served to make your pussy throb and pulse around him more. you were moaning with reckless abandon, uncaring of the people that were watching your bruised cunt getting relentlessly fucked, only caring to climax one final time just so tooru would let you go and pass out on his bed.

oikawa was thrusting so hard and fast that the headboard was banging against the wall, with your breasts bouncing up and down along with it. you could tell that he too was at his limit, judging by how his thrusts became sloppier and erratic and his moans increasing in volume and pitch.

“t-tooru, g-gonna cum, please,” you said, he groaned as he brought down his arm from the headboard and played with your clit, pinching it with his fingers, making you scream and arch your back as you squirted all around him. he came with a loud moan as he saw the clear liquid shoot out from your pussy, drenching his abdomen. “fuck, did you just squirt?” he breathed in amazement, eyes widened and mouth dropped.

he set your leg down and pulled out as he watched your mixed fluids trickle out of your cunt. you were too fucked out to care as he played with your pussy, your mouth open and eyes drooping as you breathed loudly and heavily. he was pushing the mixed cum back inside your filthy cunt when you heard the door swing open to reveal your three voyeurs, all with tented cocks stretching the front of their pants.

“shit, oikawa. you actually fucked her dumb,” mattsun said in fascination, watching your chest heave up and down. makki hummed in agreement while iwaizumi just stared at your dripping cunt, watching your cum and tooru’s trickling out of your pussy and sliding down your ass, staining the sheets. you shivered at their stares and brought your hand to spread your folds, making them see your filthy pussy better. you smirked lazily as you heard the men in the room groan in unison while you swirled your finger, playing with the cum in your cunt.

“you got room for three more cocks, baby?” mattsun taunted you, three of them entering the room and standing at the foot of the bed. your smirk dropped as you watched iwaizumi take his shirt off, leaning your head back on the pillow as you moaned tiredly, your battered pussy quivering at the thought of more cocks making a mess of your cunt.

needless to say, you and oikawa didn’t get any work done on the project that night.

[9:21 PM]

[angelasscribbles]

Hii 🥰

What is something you love about your MC / OC? You can create and share anything you’d like 😍 HC‘s, moodboards, edits or drabbles. Have fun and gush about your MC / OC 🥰

Also what made you create your MC /OC what was your inspiration?

Thank you so much for the ask!!

I use the default name, Riley Brooks for my current MC, but of course, my Riley is different from anyone else's, and even my Riley's are from series to series.

No version of her that I write is me, but yet there are pieces of me in every version of her.

It took me forever to find my face claim for her: Barbara Palvin. I preset to you now some of my favorite things about her.

This mood board:

Then there is this edit by @peonierose :

and this one by @harleybeaumont :

My original eight series used MC Riley Campbell. I stuck close to canon for my first five series. As I moved away from canon and played up the love triangle angle, I felt like there was a double standard for the male LIs vs the female MC. So I created my version of Riley Brooks to kind of push back against that a little. My first endeavor in that direction was Savage Love. Here is the snippet I posted about that. This is taken from the "Premise and notes" I posted ahead of the prologue:

A/N 3: My main reason/idea/inspiration for this story was to write a main character who was a bit different. In my other series, I feel like I’m constantly having to explain/justify/make reasons for her to be sleeping with more than one man. And I got to thinking, why? Why not have a main character who owns her sexuality? Who has sex with who she wants, when she wants, without apology, without needing a justification? You know, like men do? Someone who is a badass in her own right. Someone who refuses to be controlled by outdated, sexist ideas. So, without further ado, I present to you Agent Riley Brooks.

I love her independence, her audacity, and her irreverence. She is out of bounds half the time and she drives the men in her life crazy, but when she loves, she loves fiercely and will go to any lengths for those she loves.

Riley acts the way Riley acts because she's protecting herself.

I think I'll let Savage Love Liam speak here:

I knew she wasn’t as jaded as she wanted everyone to think she was. She had a heart, and it was soft and vulnerable and that’s why she protected it. I could see it so clearly. I saw it that first night in New York.

Yes, she was full of life and fire, she glowed with it. She was magnetic, drawing men to her effortlessly, most of them knocking into her in vain, unable to penetrate her shields. But she was more than that. Everyone could see the physical beauty and that spark of life that was so intoxicating, but not everyone realized how much more was simmering below the surface.

I did. And I wanted it, all of it. Not just her fire, not just her passion, I wanted her depths, her pain, her tenderness. I wanted every piece of her.

Or Bad Romance Drake:

She certainly made my career more interesting. Guarding Riley has been an exercise in forethought, contingency planning and diplomacy. Trying to stay a step ahead of her can be exhausting. You have no idea the number of international incidents that have been narrowly avoided over the years because someone’s boyfriend, husband or son was a little too enamored of our queen. Or, sometimes their girlfriend, wife or daughter. She attracts attention wherever she goes, and she chaffs under restraint. She has always kept us on our fucking toes. It’s infuriating and frustrating is what it is. But I really wouldn’t have it any other way because then she wouldn’t be her. And I fucking love her.

Mostly I love the way she owns who she is wholly, completely, and without apology.

I hope ya'll aren't tired of my tags tonight! Clearing out my asks and my "extras" folders! Tagging under the cut.

All Things TRR:

@nestledonthaveone  @karahalloway  @tessa-liam  @belencha77 @lovingchoices14

@21-wishes @secretaryunpaid @lunaseasblog  @princessleac1 @bebepac

@emersyn-in-cordonia @walkerdrakewalker @73geenalove  @sillydg @twinkle-320

@queen-arabella-of-cordonia @tinkie1973 @differenttyphoonwerewolf @jared2612 @mainstreetreader

@amandablink @harleybeaumont  @xpandass420x @ladyangel70 @twinkleallnight

@dcbbw  @indiacater @queenmiarys @phoenixrising0308 @gabesmommie1130

@kingliam2019 @3pawandme @bascmve01

[zodiakuroo]

Love Thy Brother

Pairing: Dabi x Fem!Reader

Content: 18+ dubcon/noncon, dabi’s canononical dick piercings  manhandling, rough sex, corruption, degradation, humiliation, manipulation, blackmail, spit, stepcest, loss of virginity, dacryphilia, mentioned breeding, blasphemy and sacrilege : 3

Word count: 4.1k

Notes: secured my spot in hell with this one for sure anyways touya-nii go brrrrr

part 2 here!

But he that hates his brother is in darkness, and walks in darkness, and knows not whither he goes, because that darkness hath blinded his eyes. – 1 John 2:11

Gaining 4 new siblings as a young adult is not something anyone expects, you think, but you’re grateful to have been accepted into Enji Todoroki’s family nonetheless.

Fuyumi was the big sister you always wanted, kind and nurturing, always happy to let you borrow her clothes and give you advice. You and Natsuo the closest in age.  He was warm and friendly and while he teased you a lot it was never mean spirited, just the kind that was typical between siblings. Shoto was quiet in nature and though it took him more time than the rest to warm up to you, eventually you two became friends as well.

And there was Touya…..

Well, Dabi as he prefers to be called.

When you first met him, you were terrified, the shock of seeing him made you hide behind your mother instinctively.  The Todoroki clan looked every bit the perfect suburban family except for Dabi. He had his hair dyed jet black, with seemingly more tattoos than clean skin. He had several cartilage piercings in his ears as well as three small studs in his nostril and a barbell through his eyebrow.  He scoffed at your scared reaction, sticking out his tongue to show you the silver ball on its surface and sending a wink your way.

Admittedly, felt guilty for judging Dabi based on his appearance, but you would soon come to find that sometimes it’s better to trust your judgement.

At first, Dabi ignored you, acted as if you didn’t exist. And the times when he was forced to acknowledge your presence in his family he acted as though you were nothing more than a nuisance. You thought that you might have offended him somehow but Fuyumi assured you that Dabi was just like that and that you shouldn’t take it personally. “He just needs to get to know you.” She said.

She was wrong though. Dabi couldn’t stand you.

Everything about you infuriates him. Prancing around in those frumpy sweaters and modest skirts like anyone would bother to lewd you anyways. Lest they attempt, you wear that gold cross necklace everywhere you like a big old “PROPERTY OF JESUS” tag. Your insistence to say a prayer every time the family dog so much as farts. The way his entire family seems to be enamored by your church girl act. Perhaps what he hates most is the way you look at him, poor delinquent Dabi, like you’re so much better than him. Sanctimonious bitch.

Then he noticed how you were with Natsuo. How you would pout and whine when he teased you and sometimes, to everyone’s shock and amusement, banter back and forth with him. Let’s be clear here, he didn’t care about you. He cared about attention. You were giving too much of your attention to his younger brother and that just wouldn’t do.

Pretty soon, Touya was in on the teasing. He started out by making fun of you for being so conservative. Low-hanging fruit. You’ve heard it all before so it didn’t wrench much of a reaction for you but that just made him more determined. Sometimes it got downright mean, earning him a scolding from Fuyumi. Not that he would listen anyways

Then it got physical. It started innocently enough, Dabi would tug on your hair, snatch food out of your hands, kick you underneath the dinner table. Albeit childish, it was incredibly annoying. You would shriek and yell for him to cut it out and after finally getting the desired reaction from you, he became hungry for more.

So he started taking more risks. When you were in the kitchen alone Dabi would brush his hand under your skirt making you squeal. That progressed to him flicking up your skirt to catch a glimpse of your panties which progressed to him spanking you so hard, you’d think of him every time you sat down for the rest of the day.

On the days when he was in a good mood (read: stoned out of his mind), he would pull you into his lap and hold you there, blowing smoke in your face that made you cough so that he could laugh. Sometimes he would let his hands wander, over your chest and between your thighs while you squirm in his hold. He’d say “Anyone ever touch you like this? I hope not, I’m sure it would piss off Jesus”

As if the touching wasn’t invasive enough, Dabi felt he was entitled to your room and personal artifacts. Often you’d come back from campus or church to find the contents of your underwear drawer spilled on the floor. You would notice a pair or two missing when you packed them back.

One time he vandalised your bible with drawings of penises on every single page.

“D’ya like my artwork princess?” he said when you confronted him. In a fit of rage, threw the book at his head. You missed (unfortunately) making him like laugh. “Surely there’s something condemning violence in that book of yours.”

You tried locking him out of your room but all that did was make him angrier. He threated to break your door clean off its hinges if you did it again.

Which brings you to your current predicament.

It had been a long day. You woke up late landing you in trouble with your manager. Your coworker fell ill and you had to cover a double shift, with no shortage of asshole customers on this particular day it seems. On top of all that, you just got stood up for date. You come home to a quiet house and you’re so grateful for this small blessing on a day like this. After a long, scalding hot shower, you lie on your bed wrapped in a fluffy, white towel, contemplating your next move.

You were home alone and with a family this big that hardly ever happens. You do what any person would do after having the day you had.

You smile to yourself, undoing the knot on your towel and falling back onto your pillows, hands already caressing your breasts.

You’re a Christian not a robot. Of course you masturbate. Sure you feel ashamed. You can hear your mother’s voice chide about how sinful it is but that all melts away when your little fingers slide between your wet folds. Shame can wait.

Being the menace in your life that he is, the eldest Todoroki chose that exact moment to barge into your room unannounced.

You scramble for your covers trying your best to preserve some modesty but it’s too late, you’ve been caught. You shriek in terror.

“Oh my god!” Dabi practically cackles.

“Dabi! It’s not what it looks like I swear.”

“Oh really?” He stalks over to your bed with the predatory grin on his face. “Because to me it looks like my innocent, holier than though baby sister is a nasty, little, closet pervert.” He’s now straddling you over your covers, you want to fight him off but that would mean letting go over your duvet and you know once you do that, it’s over. Dabi has the upper hand though. Soon he’s got both of your wrists in one of his hands, pinned above your head. His other hand, almost immediately, is pulling the down the covers, revealing your naked torso to him. “Huh.’ He muses as he palms one of your breasts. “Seems like it’s exactly what it looks like.”

“Dabi! Get off me!” You squirm under him but he’s too heavy so it’s no use.

“Nice tits Sis.” Dabi ignores your protests. “I don’t get why you keep them hidden.”

“I’m not your sister you creep!” you say with as much venom as you can muster.

“Aw princess,” he pouts and moves his hand up to cup your jaw, squeezing your cheeks harshly “it hurts your Nii-san’s feelings when you talk to him like that. I wonder what our parents would think. Should I tell them how filthy their sweet, little daughter really is?”

He revels in the fear in your eyes. You shake your head frantically. “No Dabi please! Please don’t tell them.” You whimper, words garbled.

“Don’t tell them what little sister? What were you doing?” He smirks. His hand goes back to your breast, this time to tweak your nipple.

The sadistic freak. Was he really going to make you say it? He answers your silent question with a sharp smack to your breast.

“I-I was masturbating.” You mumble, squeezing your eyes shut, cheeks burning from embarrassment.

“No, you weren’t”  he says as a matter of fact before pinching your already stiff nipple making your eyes shoot open and you yelp in pain. “You were playing with your little virgin cunt. Now say it.”

There is no way you could say those words. Has he not humiliated you enough? You try once again to break free but he’s got an iron grip on your wrists and he’s sitting on top of your thighs. There’s no way you’re getting out of this.

He pinches you again but harder this time, twisting your nipple and keeping it there.

“I was ah­ I was playing with my v-v-irgin c- Dabi! Cunt! There I said it! Let go!”

He snickers at your pain but let’s go of you entirely, shifting his weight off of you. You’re grateful for the reprieve, immediately pulling up the covers to cover up your body again. You will yourself not to cry until Dabi has left the room or else you’ll never hear the end of it. But he’s not finished with you yet.

“Show me.” He sits down on your desk chair facing you, his legs spread wide.

“What?” Surely you misheard him.

“Show your Nii-san how you play with that ‘little virgin cunt’” He smiles using air quotations.

“Dabi, this is wrong-“ you whimper

“Touya-nii.” You furrow your brows in confusion and he says again. “Call me Touya-nii. I’m not leaving this room until I see what I want.”

Say what you want about Dabi but he’s a man of his word. You know he means what he says. The last thing you want is for anyone in your family to come home and find you naked in your room with your step-brother. It’s just better to do what he asks demands.

You slowly peel the covers off you, exposing your naked body to your step brother. He’s eyeing you intently, palming the growing bulge under his jeans. His sister was hiding such a hot little body, right under his roof and he had no idea. You can’t bear to look at him. You clamp your thighs shut to hide your pussy from him, a weak attempt to save what’s left of your dignity. You wriggle your hand in between your legs and you try to move it as best you can without showing him more of you.

Wait.

You’re wet?

You’re wet.

Well screw dignity I guess.

“Oh none of that.” Touya scoffs. “Spread your legs.”

You obey him and he rewards you with a low whistle. “What a cute little pussy.” He murmurs so low you’re not even sure he’s talking to you. You flinch, wanting to close your legs on instinct but a firm “Don’t” from Dabi stops you in your tracks. “Show me how my little sister likes to play.”

His words make your pussy throb but you’re still reeling, both physically and mentally at, the shock from your current position so when your fingers try to rub circles on your clit, they’re shaky and sloppy.

“That’s pathetic. Is this how you do it? No wonder you’re so uptight, you probably never cum huh? Put your fingers inside, I wanna see you stretch your little hole.”

“Dabi I-“

“I won’t ask you to address me properly again. Next time, you’re getting your ass beat.”

“T-Touya-nii. I’ve never… put them inside.” You mumble.

“Never?” He can’t hide the amusement in his voice.

You simply shake your head, unable to meet his gaze.

Fucking jackpot. He thinks.  This is why he loves virgins.

“Oh no. Does the poor baby want her Nii-san to show her how it’s done?” voice dripping with condescension.

You’re horribly ashamed. Disgusted by the whole situation. And yet you find yourself nodding.

Dabi crawls on to your bed, discarding his shirt in the process. Next thing he has you flipped over, ass in the air, lying across his lap.

He spanks you, hard. Like he always does, loud smack echoing through the room. You cry out like you always do but it’s different this time. It’s different because this time you’re naked, on top of him. It’s different because you can feel his hard-on poking into your stomach. It’s different because everything about the situation is making you clench.

He grips the sore, reddened flesh and pulls apart your cheeks to look right at your fluttering hole. His thumb finds your clit and he starts to rub slow circles into it. “I meant what said you know. This is the prettiest fucking cunt I’ve ever seen.” You let out a whine as you feel his warm, wet spit land right on your opening, before Touya slides a long, slender middle finger into your tight pussy. He uses his other hand to hit you again. “You’re a good girl right? What do good girl’s say when they get compliments?”

Your head is spinning from his ministrations, so much so that a verbal response escapes you. You’re too busy bucking your hips against his hand. Dabi snaps you out of your trance with another spank, even harder, so your feel the sting spread across your glute. “Hnnghh… thank you Touya-nii.” He rewards you with his ring finger finding its way inside you as well. “Shit.” You say through gritted teeth. You clench around him trying to adjust to the foreign sensation.

Whack. This time on the other cheek, both burning red by now, you’re sure. “Where’d you learn to talk like that, naughty girl?” The way he’s moving his fingers inside you feels like he’s looking for something, you have no idea what. It’s not unpleasant but uncomfortable. You turn your head back to look at his face. It’s the same face he makes when he’s rolling a joint or playing video games with his friends. He’s concentrating. “Fuck, relax for me princess.” You’re trying. You’re really trying. You take a deep breath, trying to think about anything other than the way you’re being stretched.

Then it hits you. An overwhelming ecstasy, spreading from your groin, all the way down to your toes. You figure out that’s what he’s been looking for.

You find yourself grinding down onto his bulge in an attempt to escape the onslaught of his fingers, but it’s no use, not with the way his thumb is circling your throbbing clit.

“Can’t even take two fingers in this tiny pussy huh? How are you gonna take my cock?” Dabi gives you a third finger and the stretch is officially unbearable.

You can’t do anything but pant in his lap while he holds you down, making sure that you keep still. Suddenly, you realise the gravity of the circumstances you find yourself in. Your step brother is going to fuck you and there’s nothing you can do about it.

“God, please slow down!” You cry out. He keeps hitting that spot over and over. It’s too much. You look back at him with tears in your eyes, pleading for reprieve. The satisfied smile on his face lets you know that he couldn’t care less. You feel an orgasm building, stronger than any that you’ve given yourself.

“No God here, doll. Just the Almighty Dabi. And guess what? He wants you to come for him.”

Even before he finishes his sentence, you’re already convulsing on top of him. For a moment you forget how debauched the situation is. Being debased by a man who you not only despise but are related to. All feelings of shame are replaced by pure, hot bliss that sets your nerves on fire. Dabi does not relent. Not until the please you feel is eclipsed by the pain of oversensitivity and you’re writhing in futile attempt to escape.

Dabi pulls his fingers out of you and wraps his other hand around your neck, dragging you up to face him. He holds his fingers, covered in your cream, right in front of your face. “Messy slut. Clean them.”

Before you can respond the fingers press against your lips. You have no choice but to take them inside your mouth. He grips the back of your head while you lave your tongue over his fingers, sucking off your release. He’s keeps a tension on your strands that makes your scalp sting. It’s a silent warning to keep your eyes on him. You’ve caught on by now that he wants this to be as humiliating as possible for you. As if coming on your step-brother’s fingers weren’t humiliating enough. He shoves his fingers deeper, making you gag around them drool seeping from the corner of your mouth.

“Good girl.” He growls as he wipes his saliva covered fingers dry on your face. Again, you fight back the tears of embarrassment. You won’t give him the satisfaction.

Dabi prompts you with cruel tug on your hair. “Gah! Th-thank you Touya-nii.” You whimper.

“Hmm.” His hands move to your hips and he rolls his hips to grind his hard cock into your core. “You want Nii-san to fuck you now?”

Your bottom lip quivers. Is he giving you an out? You pray to God that Dabi is giving you a way out of this. You doubt God cares about what you want right now but still, you hope he can grant you this one mercy, you’ll make it up to him somehow. You shake your head no. You probably look so pitiful right now, naked on top of Touya while he bucks up against you, your own spit streaked across your face, barely stopping the tears in your eyes from spilling.

“Liar.” He sneers. “You want your big brother to split that virgin hole right open.”

You’re stupid for thinking he would give you a way out. You realise that now. No point in trying not to cry. Nothing is gonna stop him from getting what he wants anyway. You can’t hold back the choked sobs anymore

“Such pretty tears, baby.” Dabi coos at you. “Don’t worry. Nii-san is gonna give you exactly what you want.”

He picks you up off of him and positions you exactly how he wants, on all fours, swollen cunt exposed for him. He kneels behind you and you hear the sounds of him undoing his jeans. You turn your head back, curiosity getting the better of you. Your eyes find Dabi just in time to see him free himself from his boxers, which join his jeans bunched at is knees. The sight makes your eyes go wide. It’s your first time seeing one in real life. Were they supposed to be that big? And… pierced?

He quirks a brow at you, smug look plastered on his face. He strokes himself in front of you, spreading his pre-cum along his shaft. He’s tilts it upwards to make sure you get a good look at the vertical barbell that goes through his tip and three horizontal, parallel bars along the underside. “You look scared. Don’t worry princess, Big brother Dabi’s gonna make it fit.” You feel his tip press against your opening and brace yourself.

You’ve heard stories from your friends. You know the first time hurts but God nothing could have prepared you for this .Touya makes good on his word, sliding his entirely until your pressed right against his pelvis. The scream you let out is ear shattering but you can’t help it, the stretch is excruciating. The way his piercings catch on your walls only, intensifies the burn. You crawl toward your headboard instinctively, it’s too much. Way too much.

He’s not having any of it. Dabi pulls you up to him with a hand wrapped around your throat until your back meets his front. “Shh shh shh. Don’t run baby. You’re gonna take all of it.” He groans right against your ear. Without giving you time to adjust, he begins to thrust into you at a relentless pace. You have no choice but to let him use you.

“Who’s fucking you huh? Who’s making you feel good?”

“My nii-san. Touya-nii is fucking me so good.”

“Yeah fuck. Love this holy pussy” He delivers a harsh smack directly on to your clit, making you quiver in his hold. He laughs at your reaction. “Gonna say a prayer for me babe? I wanna hear it.”

“Huh?” You’re barely lucid, there’s no way you heard him correctly.

“Well you’re a little sinner slut now. You should probably ask for forgiveness. Pray.”

You’re sure you’re beyond salvation now but you submit nonetheless. “Have mercy on me, O God, according to Your unfailing love; according to Your great compassion.” You gasp as he tightens his hand around your throat. “Against You, have I sinned and done what is evil in Your sight. Oh fuck Touya-nii!”

“Bad girl.” Dabi gives you another strike right on your aching clit. “Don’t think God is gonna be very happy with you.” Dabi is though. Dabi’s very happy with you. Your tight, gummy pussy sucks him back in every time he pulls back. It just makes him fuck you harder, he wants to make you scream louder for him.

“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Ngggghh Shit. Do not cast me from Your presence or take Your Holy Spirit from me.” You’re sobbing outright, gasping to get air into your constricted throat.

“You gonna cum? My bad girl gonna come for her big brother?” Dabi grunts into your ear.

“Yeah close Touya-nii.”

“Hmm me too.”

“NOT INSIDE TOUYA-NII” You begin to thrash in his arms.

“S’matter princess? Don’t wanna have your big brother’s babies? That’s hurtful.” He snickers. He releases your throat in favour of pressing you into the mattress, large hand resting between your shoulder blades. “Better cum before I do then.”

The ridges of his piercings rub up against that same sweet spot, over and over again. You’re dizzy from the lack of air and absolutely drunk with pleasure on his cock. Pretty much the only thing tethering you to this existence is the unforgiving grip he has on your ass, digging his nails into your flesh. He reaches his hand around to rub your sore, puffy clit. It pushes you over the edge a second time. You feel every muscle contract and relax as the waves of your orgasm wash over you, making you cry out in bliss.

As soon as you come down from your high, Dabi has you flipped on to your back and is straddling your torso. “Keep praying.” He mutters. He furrows his brows, huffing as he jerks off on top of you, eyes focused intently on your gold necklace.

“Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me. Then will I teach transgressors Your ways, and sinners will turn back to You. Amen”

“Yeah, fuck that’s it take it baby.” Dabi sprays his come over your chest, aiming his load right on your cross, a symbol of your devotion to Christ, defiled. He looks absolutely euphoric watching the ropes of his hot cum slowly run down onto your nipples and down the valley of your breasts

“Don’t you fucking move.” He pants, catching his breath. He picks up his phone and you hear his camera click. He looks at the picture and smiles. You look absolutely fucked out. Hair disheveled, face red and bloated from crying and completely covered in his load. Yeah a real good, Christian girl. He thinks.

“Dabi! No!” You lunge forward, trying to grab his phone from his hand. Almost effortlessly, Touya shoves you back onto the bed.

“Relax. No one’s gonna see it. Not unless you snitch to mommy and daddy.”

“You promise?” You grab the tissues from your nightstand and wipe yourself clean. The smell lingers though, along with the grimy feeling, seemingly embedded in your skin. You look up at him, sniffling, tears still rolling down your cheeks. If he were better person, he’d take pity on you for being so fucking stupid.

“Promise, little sis.” He shoots you a wink as he tucks himself back into his jeans.

Before he’s left your room he’s already sent the picture to his friend, Shigaraki.

[imaslutforremusandsirius]

Mutual longing

It’s 03:43 and I missed writing James, uf i love this one

Warning: 18+

---

Oh, James is a breathtaking sight. With his dark hair and twinkling eyes, his tall toned body and charming smile. His smooth voice and irresistible accent. He is the whole package.

Lost in thought you imagined him fucking you against the wall, his big hand over your mouth to contain your moans as he pounded you aggressively-

„Hey“ Lily chirped, leaning over the table to give you a friendly hug, „Sorry I‘m late, head girl shit.“

You hugged her back, acting as if you didn‘t just imagine getting absolutely railed by the fellow head boy.

„Don‘t worry ‘bout it. Haven‘t been long anyway.“

Lily rolled her eyes and gave you a teasing smile.

„Knowing you, you probably showed up fifteen minutes early to be polite. You can give me shit you know, I deserve it.“

You laughed lightly before you furrowed your brows dramatically and held up a finger much like Professor McGonagall when she lectured the marauders again.

„Lily Evans you little shit. Hopefully you will have a long dreadful nightmare for the shit you put me through!“

Lily smirked at you and nodded, impressed with your choice of words.

„That would be James trying to hug me again, so no thank you.“ She clapped her hands. „Right, lets start.“

You couldn‘t help but think of just how fucking hot it would be to be in James‘ strong arm. Breathless moans and impatient hands tugging down your skirt. His hands all over your body, slowly moving down towards your-

Fuck.

---

Sometime during your meetup Remus appeared and sat down with you. Then came Peter. With him Sirius and of course James.

„I swear Black if you don‘t shut the fuck up“ Lily said forcefully, very close to yelling, „I‘m gonna beat your stupid face with this book!“

Sirius’ wand fell from between his clenched jaw, he was trying to impersonate a growling dog, and he rolled his eyes.

„Calm down, Evans. Besides, Remus would totally not appreciate that, considering my face is number one in his list of“, he cleared his throat theatrically, „Reasons why Sirius Black is the most enchanting being I‘ve ever fucked.“

Remus, already used to Sirius‘ crude remarks, just continued to read his book, his index finger tracing shapes on Sirius‘ palm absentmindedly.

„I agree“ Remus mumbled, missing the way Sirius blushed and melted with his next words, „Sirius is enchanting.“

Sirius, content with the attention he got, leaned his head against his boyfriends shoulder and finally shut his mouth. Lily smiled gratefully at Remus, who send her a wink, the corner of his lips pulling up slightly to show that he had said it on purpose. Not that they needed to know just how accurate Sirius had been with the list.

You threw a glance at James and saw him engrossed with his potions textbook, lips moving silently as he read through the pages. Taking the time to admire him from up close, you watched how his brows would furrow and ease up whenever he worked out a problem, how he would bite his lip in concentration or scratch his nose and push up his glasses when they slipped down his nose.

Truly handsome. Sex on legs.

Fuck why can‘t he just touch you already.

For someone who flirts on the daily he sure was oblivious to girls who were actually interested in him. And not gay, unlike Lily, who literally had a pin on her bag with the lesbian flag on it.

Might get a pin with “Fuck me James“ printed on it. Maybe then he‘ll know, you thought bitterly.

You had already planned a whole color scheme for the pins when a foot nudged your shin under the table and forced you out of your head.

„Need help“ James whispered and slid his worksheet over to you, „Please?“

Oh hell yes. No need to beg, Potter.

„Sure“ You said, congratulating yourself for sounding confident, „Give me a min.“

Reading through the question your took a moment to think about the answer, scribbling it down yourself instead of telling him. You weren‘t sure how long you could gaze into his eyes and act like you didn‘t have wet dreams about him.

Satisfied you looked back up and noticed him already looking at you, or more specifically your mouth.

A devilish idea crossed your mind. Oh, yes.

Acting as if you were still thinking, you bit your lip softly, tracing your bottom lip with your tongue to leave it glistening pink. James swallowed, hand loosening his tie and he lowered his head with blushing cheeks.

„Here“ You smiled, gently sliding the paper back to him and shivered a little when your fingertips touched.

His fingers had to business being so close to the top of the sheet, considering he was sitting across from you and could have just grabbed the bottom part. Hope flared in your chest when you saw him just as taken aback by the touch and you basked in the radiant grin he shot you from under his mop of hair.

Your stomach swarmed with butterflies and you let out a small breath, thighs clenching.

Oh James.

„I should get going“ You said after a while, not in the mood to study anymore.

James‘ head whipped up and he got up as well, packing his bag in time with you. Your eyes widened in surprise, but you refrained from making your excitement too obvious.

„Yeah me too, I‘m tired. Goodnight.“ James rushed and gently pulled you along by the strap of your bag.

The others just grumbled in response, Sirius fast asleep and drooling while Remus waved his hand dismissively. Lily muttered a quick, „I‘ll join in a few minutes“, which actually translates to hours.

Since the others aren‘t here I could have some alone time with James.

Oh shit, there goes your brain. It was really creative when it came to imagening James‘ moans, considering you never heard them before. Or his dick. Fuck.

You silently made your way upstairs and sadly it was an awkward one. Frankly you blamed James for being so hot that you literally had no clue what to say, not knowing that he thought the exact same thing. Sure he is all for, „Everyone can wear what they bloody want“ and he had proven that point by wearing skirts multiple times, but fuck-

You in that skirt has to be criminal by some kind of law right? Has to be a sin in some kind of religion? And don‘t get him started on your lips-

James shook his head to get rid of the mental images and focused on his breathing. Praying that you wouldn’t see his boner.

Somehow you had made it to the empty common room and turned to each other at the same time to say goodnight. Both of you had not considered the distance between your faces, which proved to be extremely short with your noses bumping painfully.

„I‘m so-“

Your words died down when James kissed you hard, his big hands - oh those big, callous hands you‘ve been dreaming about for weeks finally touching your cheeks to pull you impossibly close.

Stunned by his sudden desire to kiss you, you pulled your head away to look into his face and what you saw made you smash your lips on his and his back against the wall.

His quiet, absolutely submissive noises shot straight into your blood and you press your hips against his to hear more of it. His arms were wrapped around your neck, hands buried in your hair as he opened your legs with his knee to press his thigh between your legs.

The rough fabric of his pants made you shudder and your hands slid down his upper body until you got to his cock. James head sank against the wall with a dirty moan as you put your hand in his pants to touch him. Shit, his skin was so soft and hot and he already has precum on the tip.

James lips met yours sloppily as he pushed you backwards onto the couch and sank down between you legs on the ground, moving your feet to rest on the cushion. He clearly didn‘t have any more patience in him and made quick work of pushing your panties aside to rub his fingers against your soaking entrance.

„Come on, James“ You moaned, bucking against him when he finally pushed two fingers inside.

„Mmm look at you“ James groaned out, leaving kisses along your inner thighs and let out wanton sound when your cunt clenched around him.

You didn‘t care about anything but his fingers fucking you at this point, whining when the cool metal of his ring pressed against your clit. You jerked at the hot sensation of his tongue curling around your clit, greedily sucking your pussy lips into his mouth.

„Oh James!“ You whimpered breathlessly, pulling his face so close that his nose was smushed against your lower belly, feeling the vibrations of every moan he let out shoot directly to your cunt.

Pulling him up by his hair you kissed him again, panting into his open mouth when he kept pistoning his fingers into your cunt.

„Please let me fuck you“ James begged needily, brows pinched in longing to feel you around his throbbing cock, „Please I can‘t wait anymore!“

Instead of answering, you pushed his pants down with your heels and trapped him between your legs. James hissed in relief when he felt some kind of friction on his cock and eased himself inside.

„Oh“ James let out a broken whimper, head thrown back in sheer bliss, „Feel so good.“

You couldn’t answer, way to enamored with the way he stretched you open so deliciously, watching his cock push into your body. Oh fuck, the sight was so dirty and crass and yet you couldn‘t take your eyes off him.

„James“ You gasped with difficulty, „James please ‘m‘gonna cum!“

James bend your legs so they were over his shoulders and pounded you harshly, face screwed up in ecstasy with the way you cried out his name. Your moans cut off only to be replaced by sobs when the tip of his cock hit your g-spot over and over again.

„Yes yes yes“ James chanted, pressing his forehead on yours to stare at your dazed expression, „tell me how you feel!“

Your shook your head quickly, signaling him that you couldn‘t possibly form a coherent sentence, but his persisted.

„Tell me how you feel!“ James hissed, thumb suddenly on your clit and you broke.

„Good good so fucking good“ You cried, latching on his body to encourage him to fuck you harder.

„Prove it“ James moaned brokenly, „Cum for me!“

His other hand wrapped around your delicate throat and squeezed firmly, making you tip over the edge and cry out your release. James‘ orgasm made him tremble so violently that he couldn‘t hold himself up anymore, collapsing on your chest with a deep throaty whimper as he filled your cunt with his hot cum.

„Fuck yes“ James ground out, hips still pushing in and out of you, like he couldn’t bear the thought of stopping. He raised his head to watch you, his pupils still dilated, pink lips quivering with aftershocks.

James looked absolutely wrecked and satisfied. He stared at you as if staring at a goddess, nuzzling close to hear your heartbeat.

„You okay?“ James asked quietly and tucked himself back in to help you clean up.

„Yeah, perfect.“ You grinned, letting him help you up and pull you towards his dorm.

He gave you a playful smile, but you saw the slight nervousness in his eyes.

„Stay?“

God, yes. Finally. Fuck those pins, who needs them.

„Yes.“

[shotorozu]

𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮

★ 100 𝔣𝔬𝔩𝔩𝔬𝔴𝔢𝔯 𝔰𝔭𝔢𝔠𝔦𝔞𝔩 𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔱 2.

notes : for my 200 special, i will be releasing 3 fics ;) and probably a short suna fic?? tbh idk WAXAXAX someone give me tips on writing haikyuu characters, ty 🤍 (mildly spicy, fluff) 3rd year things because.. would they be in a relationship in their first or second year?? no- mention of tiddies in one entry but that’s about it.

≿————-　❈　————-≾

𝗺𝗶𝗱𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘆𝗮 𝗶𝘇𝘂𝗸𝘂

ღ  he really likes the small of your back. he just really likes putting his hand on your back, at the beginning of your relationship with him, he’ll be too nervous to hold your hand- yet, he will put his hand on your back. not sure either. if it would be him putting it there while he keeps you close to him, or just guiding you. 

𝗯𝗮𝗸𝘂𝗴𝗼𝘂 𝗸𝗮𝘁𝘀𝘂𝗸𝗶

ღ  ah yes, the classical ass man. usually- he’d walk in front of people because he just takes comfort in that, but for you, it’s a different story. he’ll make you walk in front of you so he could stare discreetly at your rear. again, since he really loves you, he just loves your ass regardless if you’re flat as a door, or if you basically have a dump truck. he’ll always have you on his lap just for your ass pressing against him. he will smack that ass when you bend down so.. brace yourself. 

𝘁𝗼𝗱𝗼𝗿𝗼𝗸𝗶 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗼

ღ  your hips are one of his favorite. he just loves them, and he has the biggest fascination towards them. he’ll be staring at you from afar, and he’d just admire the roundness of your hips. he also loves leaving hickies on them, since the only one who could see the blooming marks on your skin is you and him. plus- he just loves the softness of your skin, and he’ll find his hands on your hips a lot. is it a protective matter? sometimes, but he sure loves your hips. 

𝗸𝗶𝗿𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗺𝗮 𝗲𝗶𝗷𝗶𝗿𝗼𝘂

ღ  your collarbones are so attractive to him, idkk but during training, when you were all sweaty (and your shirt was slightly tattered) his eyes were wide like saucers. idk about you though, but he’d get sudden urges to just bite on them- plastering hickies onto your skin. but he’s also worried about hurting you because of his teeth, so you’d have to consent on that act before he’d ever bear his sharp teeth onto your collarbones, sharp shark like teeth sinking into soft skin. he’s so kind, and you’re lucky to have kiri as a boyfriend :))

𝘀𝗲𝗿𝗼 𝗵𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗮

ღ   your hands are his personal favorite. they’re just.. a lot smaller than his, and the texture is so much different. though you’re in the hero course with him, he wonders how the hell your hands are still soft. he’ll find himself grabbing for your hands, and he’ll even deeply observe the details of your hands.his favorite thing to do is kiss the back of your hand like the smooth man he is. 

𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗶𝘁𝗼𝘀𝗵𝗶

ღ  he loves your hips as much as shouto, but.. he’s enamored by your chest! a lil spicy, but he loves seeing the curve of your hips when you bend down to grab something. he may not look as fazed as midoriya but he’s secretly freaking out when you press your chest onto his when you hug him, regardless of size. he stares a lot at your tiddies (if you allow him) and he enjoys your reactions when you realize he’s staring. he will engage in casual tiddy holding. can he help it? since it’s you, then no, he can’t. 

𝗸𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗿𝗶 𝗱𝗲𝗻𝗸𝗶

ღ  your neck is his favorite, just because he likes kissing it a lot! (he looks like an ass or tiddy person,) but he could literally make a presentation as to why he loves kissing and biting your neck so much. denki is an artist, and your neck is his canvas. every time he pulls back from biting all over your neck, he’ll sit back and admire the marks blooming on your once clear neck. he’s cheeky for sure. 

𝗮𝗺𝗮𝗷𝗶𝗸𝗶 𝘁𝗮𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗶

ღ  he loves your thighs, and he finds it so cute when your thighs expand when you sit down on his lap (or on just any surface in general) he’d never admit it in public on how soft they look, and he’d especially never admit that he wants to be squished by them. he can only hope you know how ton read his expressions, and he’ll have to hope that you’ll talk to him about that. but until then, he’ll have his hand on your thigh, tracing shapes onto your thighs with a blush on his face. 

𝘁𝗼𝗴𝗮𝘁𝗮 𝗺𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗼

ღ  he loves your waist, it’s just something about them that makes him want to place his large hands onto them. it’s canon that he’s a flirt, so if he was passing by you in a crowd, he’d move past you while grasping on your waist. it’s brief, but he’ll always catch the way your expression grows flustered. he WILL ask you “where’s my hug?” and when you do give him one, his hands will be on your waist. 

𝗺𝗼𝗻𝗼𝗺𝗮 𝗻𝗲𝗶𝘁𝗼

ღ  another Y/N’s collarbone enthusiast. there’s something about them that just looks so.. elegant? he can’t exactly explain it but, he likes them a lot. he’s also a Y/N’s legs enthusiast, but your collarbones will always be #1 when it comes to his favorite feature about you. he could talk about them all day while peppering kisses onto them, enjoying the way your expression falls almost bashful. 

𝗮𝗶𝘇𝗮𝘄𝗮 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗮

ღ  he likes your hands because of the way they always manage to calm him down. your hands have done great things, and they have always managed to make him relax with a simple touch. he loves holding them, and in a crowd- he will always hold your hand. it makes him feel safe knowing you are with him. he also likes the size difference between your hand and his. 

𝗱𝗮𝗯𝗶 𝘁𝗼𝘂𝘆𝗮 𝘁𝗼𝗱𝗼𝗿𝗼𝗸𝗶

ღ  he really likes your thighs, and he will be shameless about it. you could be talking about whatever, and he’d just be eyeing your thighs like it was pure eye candy. he will make you squish them around his head. bites, kisses, and heck- he will imprint burn marks onto your thighs as to show that you’re his. hope you’re ready, and don’t worry- the pain is just a fleeting moment. 

𝗵𝗮𝘄𝗸𝘀 | 𝗸𝗲𝗶𝗴𝗼 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗮𝗺𝗶

ღ  he likes your back. more so when he’s behind you, and he’s looking at the way your back curves. overall he gets excited just looking at your back profile. he also likes biting and marking your back, til it’s basically just a canvas of bite marks he imprinted on there. he has a habit of standing behind you, since he might accidentally slap you with his wings- so he has grown fond of just putting his hand on your back. (it’s almost protective, just almost.) 

≿————-　❈　————-≾

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading! (i’d add more tags but.. i could only do 30)

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei. i only own the writing.

do not plagiarize my work :))

[goroufucker]

part two to the kazuha public sex ig 💪🤤 ft: beidou for lore ig

——

authors notes: i really don’t feel comfortable having beidou have like… sex with kazuha and the reader since beidou and kazuha have a mother son type relationship. so she’s here for lore.. BUTTT… i will be writing a beidou fic to make it up to y’all <3

——

the sound of the waves crashing against the wood of the boat was starting to become a familiar sound, leaning against the edge and staring out into what seemed like nothing. in your dozing, you had specific thoughts clinging onto your mind.

“was what i did with kazuha just a one time thing..? no, he said it himself that he didn’t want that to be the only time.. but he’s definitely not gonna come down with me to inazuma, especially not with his.. reputation…-“ you snap out of your thoughts with a sigh, leaning your head down while thinking of the difficult situation.

did you love him? there’s no way, you can’t fall in love with a man you just met, but you did fuck him- so perhaps anything is possible. your own feelings confused you, you just weren’t sure- trying to fit him into your future of adventuring, especially in this specific moment, was difficult.

“ah, there you are” a calm and familiar voice spoke out to you, instantly recognizing it, you quickly lift your head and straighten your posture. “ah-! kazuha, you startled me..” you grinned to him, attempting to hide your emotional distress with your signature kindness. though kazuha isn’t a fool.

he stared at you for a second, then looked off into the endless sea just as you did before. you hesitantly leaned back onto the boat again, just trying to relax. “you do know, if there’s something bothering you,, you can tell me-“ kazuha spoke, you stared at him while he cleared his throat. “i might not know the best words to respond.. but i can listen” he finished.

without another thought, you blurted your emotions out in one single sentence.

“kazuha, will you join me?”.

he was silent, not a single word escaped his mouth. kazuha refused to look at you, not because he was angry at what you had asked him, he just was thinking.

the air around you two was tense and heavy, so heavy it felt like you could barely breathe. you felt inclined to just run off, until you felt a hand on your shoulder.

“woahh, what’s with all the seriousness over here huh?!” beidou cheered, trying to soothe the tense mood. “ah, beidou-“ kazuha started, before being interrupted. “come, both of you- our journey to inazuma is nearly over, we should be celebrating” she ordered, winking at you.

it wasn’t until a few drinks in that you fully understood why she winked.

cheers from some of the crew, cups hitting the others in a toast to the journey. all seemed lively, it felt like you were having a big family reunion. you didn’t want to do much drinking, so you only had one cup and took your time with it.

“hey, y/n? i gotta ask-“ beidou sat down next to you, “you and kazuha, what was keeping the air so tense?” she asked. you gripped onto your cup, thinking hard, looking left and right to make sure that kazuha wasn’t nearby. “..i believe i might have feelings for kazuha, but i’m not sure” you spoke, earning a laugh from beidou.

“well, it’s pretty obvious you two are enamored with eachother, especially with how you two act on a daily basis” she sipped at her drink, her words made you think. you are often going to kazuha out of everyone else on the ship, you find comfort in his presence.

“what’s with that face? finally realizing it?” beidou smirked at you, “but.. on a serious note, if you think it’s love- why not give it a try? couldn’t hurt could it?” beidou patted at your shoulder before getting up again- giving you privacy with your thoughts.

you glanced over to where kazuha was, continuing to think but acting on impulse and instantly walking over. holding your breath, you counted each second.

5..

love, perhaps you are feeling it. or it could be addiction to him.

4..

with each step closer, you felt your body leaning towards an answer.

3..

he smiled at you, of course you had to smile back.

2..

laughing and smiling at each word that flutters out of his mouth, his sentences are pure poetry, as if he’s reading out one of the most gorgeous haiku’s you’ve ever heard.

1..

idle touching, a look around the ship before your hand is grabbed and quickly dragged away from the crowd.

0.

with your back hitting the wall of the half full storage room, your arms snaked around kazuha’s neck, one hand going straight to his hair. both of his hands were pinned against the wall, keeping you exactly where you were. your heart skipped a beat each time you heard him groan against your lips, greedily keeping them connected to yours.

you two had to be quick, before the rest of the crew noticed you two were gone. you knew beidou would try to play it off as much as she could to give you two some alone time, it can’t be helped. you were pulled out of your worried mind by a hand slipping under your top, you pulled away to gasp lightly, feeling kazuha’s bandaged fingers rub and lightly pinch at your nipple.

he leans in and kisses at your neck, gently suckling and licking. leaving visible marks wasn’t his goal, he wanted to make you feel it as much as possible, and you were definitely feeling it.

your impatience took over you, sliding your arms down to his sides and tugging him closer to you, wanting to feel every bit of him. your leg went between his, feeling at his hard dick hidden away in his baggy shorts.

he hummed against your neck, sliding his hand down to your hip and squeezed at it, detaching from your neck to smash his lips back onto yours. this was 10 times more sensual then the first time, his romantic personality truly shining through. you craved more of his touch, taking a step forward to press the entirety of your overheated body against his.

kazuha had a cheeky little smile plastered on his face the entire time, he was amused by your need for him. he brought down his other hand, luckily, not needing to take off his glove. his bare fingers slid down your stomach, unbuttoning your bottoms and continuing to slide his hand down your body and through your garments.

when his fingers grazed over your sex, you shivered, pulling away from the kiss and gripping onto his shoulders for support. kazuha simply continued to grin, watching your expression as he continued to tease the skin around your sex. your eyes stayed shut, face flushed from embarrassment at how he was staring at you.

“come now, won’t you look at me? ~” kazuha purred to you, continuing to tease your sex, using his other hand to cradle your face. he watched your eyes flutter open, staring at him with pupils dilated, he seemed pleased. “how mesmerizing, it makes me wonder.. how much would it take to change that adoring look on your face, hm.. ~” he teased you.

though you felt amazing right now, you had a want to touch him, to please him. you looked him in the eye, shakily breathing. “kazuha.. what about you..?“ you whimper out, reaching out your hand. his eyes went half lidded, solely chuckling at your want to please him. “this isn’t about me, this is about you. love ~” he spoke, “for i never even answered your question, quite rude of me, i must make it up to you..”.

without even a breath from you, two of his fingers inserted themselves into your sex. your breath hitched, the single hand left on his shoulder gripping at his clothes. it wasn’t the same feeling as his dick, but it was just as nice. kazuha’s fingers pumped in you, keeping an easy pace. he watched your expressions, learning what you like based off the sounds you made whenever he changed the position of his fingers.

you felt like cumming right then and there when he pushed his fingers as deep in as he could, moaning at him. that’s all you could do, moan and pant when the speed of his thrusts stayed at the perfect pace. it had felt like the two of you had been in that closet for hours, the air was so hot and heavy. little beads of sweat slipped down your face, your stomach starting to knot.

you couldn’t bring yourself to keep eye contact with kazuha, your eyes were squeezed shut. though kazuha didn’t mind, he smirked and leaned in close, quietly mimicking your pants and moans. embarrassment took over you, but the sound of his voice was so intoxicating that it only made you moan more.

when you felt yourself reaching the edge, you gripped onto him tighter. “oh? ~” kazuha moaned, letting you grind against his hand before you came hard onto his fingers, straining your cry of pleasure. he hummed, letting you full calm down and relax from your high. he pulled his fingers out of you, breathing a bit hard himself from all the tension in the room.

you opened your eyes again, leaning against the wall. your pupils met his, slowly looking down his neck, then his chest. you finally landed your eyes to his crotch, staring at his erection, standing as tall as it possibly could. you practically started drooling from the sight, though he might’ve said this moment was about you, how could you let him go back out there with all that, surely it must be painful.

ignoring your shaky legs, you stepped forward, quickly tugging and pulling him close. with your faces so close, kazuha was inclined to kiss you. he hummed against your lips, hugging his hands around your waist. the kiss wasn’t very long, your hands slid to his cheeks, cupping them before pulling away and dragging them down his body. you lowered to your knees, forcing kazuha to let you go.

“hey.. what did i tell you? this is about you-“ he tried to scold you, but he definitely wasn’t gonna stop you if you insisted. since you had absolutely no shame, you quickly shoved your face into his abdominal area, breathing in his scent before looking up at him. “are you really gonna go back out there, infront of all the crew, with your dick standing tall?” you asked, your hands going to his hips, ready to pull down his shorts and red tights.

kazuha stared at you for a quick second, then grinning. “well, if you insist ~” he purred, his hand meeting your hair. the second you got his approval, you felt antsy to let him be free. you quickly tugged until his shorts loosened and you could pull them down with his tights and underwear. he laughed at your quick movements, “relax, i’m definitely not going anywhere~” he teased, tracing your cheek with his thumb.

his words barely stayed in your brain, you lusted to the thought of tasting him. wasting no time, once his dick was out and right in your face you opened your mouth and rolled your tongue along the tip. you focused on it a bit, taking the tip in your mouth and continuing to roll your tongue all around it.

kazuha let out small groans at the beginning, as he did to you, you focused on the sounds he made and watched his expressions to see what felt good and what didn’t. he kept a single hand in your hair, not gripping or pushing you around, he gave you the freedom to do as you pleased. his other hand laid flat on the wall, helping him keep his posture as he watched you suck him off.

you looked absolutely beautiful, even with the intense pleasure he was feeling, he made sure to barely even blink. if he were to blink, he could miss another moment where you locked eyes with him. he nearly choked on his spit when you pulled away to get some of your own spit on your hand just to hop back on and pump your now lubed hand on the base of his cock while you continued to suck.

“ah..! Mm..~” kazuha hissed, gently pushing your head farther down, but not enough to choke. you obliged with his need and took more of his dick in your mouth, hollowing your cheeks and bobbing your head on his cock. kazuha hunched over, even with such a short amount of time of you pleasuring him, he’d be so turned on from finger fuckinh you he already felt himself reaching the edge.

you could feel him trying to hold back from the way he tensed up, you grinned against his cock, keeping the eye contact and starting to pick up the pace. his moans went from small and quiet to much louder, kazuha’s face scrunching up and having more trouble keeping eye contact. “fuck.. fuck y/n!” he cried, his hips starting to hump his dick in your mouth, unable to control himself. though you didn’t mind, letting him ride out his high.

you had barely done much to him in comparison, but he was more then happy with the pleasure he was feeling right now. he came within seconds, not even trying to strain back any moans. kazuha’s voice was gorgeous, making you not wanna waste even a tiny amount of his cum that splattered into your mouth. gulping it down, you finally pulled away from his dick, wiping a string of spit that was still connecting your lips to it.

kazuha finally closed his eyes, breathing gently. you pulled up his bottoms as best as you could in this position, standing up to fix it up more. his posture fixed, looking at you for a bit, then smiling and just hugging you. you grinned and put a hand on the back of his head, holding him close. kazuha kissed your cheek, then leaned into your ear.

“to answer your question.. i’m not sure if i’m fully ready, but for you, i’ll follow you there” he whispered. a blush tool over your face, it was so hard not to just squirm in excitement. you hugged him even tighter, “i love you so much, kazuha!” you blurted without thinking. he simply laughed, letting go of the hug to start to leave the two of you out of your hiding space. “i love you too, dear”.

<3

[zuko-always-lies]

Ah, a Zuko realist. Now this is refreshing.

When I first watched ATLA, Zuko was easily my least favorite of the major characters. Apart from the obvious (him hunting the savior of the world for status and personal gain), the guy was consistently selfish, rude, and pretty much acted like the Tasmanian Devil from Looney Toons…but not for the sake of comedic value. After being exposed to the fandom for a while, I kinda got sucked in to the “Zuko is an awkward turtleduck” stuff and it took me a while to realize that his fanon character has totally been perverted. And the real tragedy is that he has a ton of depth and some major redeeming qualities…the fandom has just chosen to ignore the fact that he’s morally conflicted and warped him into an infallible Traditionally Masculine Hero. It’s just a relief to see another person (there aren’t many) who seems to acknowledge that canon Zuko has totally been obliterated and replaced by something that doesn’t resemble him at all. (Any thoughts on why Zukophilia has become so rampant?)

Sorry for taking my time answering this, but I very much agree with you. Fanon Zuko has nothing to with canon Zuko. The person who I think has done the best analysis on canon Zuko and some of the less savory parts of his character and less well-written parts of his arc is @seyaryminamoto . I reblogged a ton of her posts within the last couple months and I tagged them all with "seyaryminamoto" if you're interested. In fact, I'm going to try to link all of them here: x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x. To make it clear, I don't 100% agree with seyaryminamoto on just about anything. @wingsfreedom and @eshusplayground are also people who have had some good takes on Zuko, particularly this post. And if you haven't read this post by me on "power hungry Zuko," you might find it interesting.

Now, to get into the substance of your ask a bit more, I'll be honest, the first I watched the series I just saw the narrative framing surrounding Zuko and didn't think deeply about him. Honestly, I liked him in a way I can't now, since the fanbase flanderizing him kind of poisoned his character for me. It's hard doing meta analysis of a character when you haven't finished a series, and most fans never give that level of thought to a character. Unfortunately, the way that Zuko is presented and framed leaves meta-analysis as the only way to get a good grasp of his character.

I think one of the issues with the writing of Zuko's character is that the writers couldn't decide what kind of redemption arc they were writing. I think Zuko's arc unfortunately mishes and mashes between three different types of redemption arcs:

1. Moving from being selfish and self-interested to being selfless(i.e. the Han Solo arc)

2. Escaping from a toxic family environment and forming healthy relationships arc(i.e. the Nebula--from the MCU--arc. This actually requires the character undergoing the arc to be a little selfish)

3. Rejecting the awful values you have been indoctrinated in and becoming a better person through accepting new, better values arc. If I were writing a redemption arc for Azula, this would be the focus.

When you combine aspects of these three arcs together without being careful, you can end up with some very unfortunate implications. And I think it also creates a lot of the confusion surrounding Zuko in the fanbase.

However, by far the biggest reason why people believe "Zuko is an awkward turtleduck" is because it's how the narrative frames the character. The narrative always presents Zuko in the most sympathetic and positive possible light, even though his actions run very heavily against this framing. The two most pivotal episodes for Zuko's character are "The Storm" and "Zuko Alone," and both present Zuko as an awkward, kind, moral, selfless, empathetic, and compassionate turtleduck being harmed by his evil relatives; the narrator is heavily biased in both cases but the narrative never calls attention to it. Zuko's actions in just about every other episode also contradict these traits, but the narrative also never calls attention to that.

There are also some other factors about why Zuko gets woobiefied in the fanbase to the degree he is. First, Zuko is an abuse victim in a very obvious way, so there's the tendency(like with Ursa) to woobiefy him and present him as a "perfect" victim being violently tormented by his evil father and sister, rather than deal with how his abuse and indoctrination led him to engage in toxic behavior.

Second, Zuko is male, so the fanbase is much more willing to ignore it when he acts violently, gets angry, or otherwise engages in toxic behavior. Male characters get so much more slack here.

Third, Zuko is the deuteragonist of ATLA, we always see things from his point of view, and he ends up siding with(and being accepted by) the protagonists, so there's the natural tendency to soften his actions.

Fourth, the narrative ends with the implication that Zuko has become the perfect ruler and finished his growth, so the fanbase is less willing to accept he is flawed.

Finally, it seems like the fanbase is more enamored of the idea of Zuko(abused kid gets on a better path and develops healthy relationships) than they are with his actual character. Certainly, the fact that ~50% of "Zuko meta posts" are written by Azula fans suggests that Zuko fans are more interested in what they project onto Zuko than on Zuko's character as is revealed by his behavior.

[aminiatureworld]

Small Secrets II

Characters: Childe, Kaeya, Ningguang, gn!reader

Word Count: 3.717

Warnings: Swearing

Premise: It’s not that you wanted to keep it a secret from your loved one. It was simply that old habits are hard to break. But now people are talking, and it seems easier to go one as before.

In which the reader can transform into an animal.

Author’s Note: Had to do a surprising amount of research for this one.

Childe

Perhaps it was a cruel joke on Fate’s part that you were able to turn into a penguin. If so no one else was laughing.

It’d been jarring the first time it’d happened, an accident of stress. After that first incident you’d figured you’d never transform again, at least not willingly. Who wanted to be a greasy, flightless bird anyways? That had been your opinion, and you hadn’t intended on changing it. Until you learned how to swim.

Perhaps it was another joke, that you should become so enamored with the gliding that penguins could do when they finally waddled their way off land. The nearly soundless plunge as you dove beneath the water, not having to worry about running out of air as you sped along the lake nearby your Snezhnayan village. It was as if being trapped in a little pocket of paradise, one which you’d grown to love.

At first you didn’t really consider the repercussions of being involved with Childe in regards to your expeditions to the sea. So wrapped up had you been in the question of his Harbinger status that by the time you realized you might have a problem it was too late to think up any sort of plan. Of course, the days in which Childe was gone you could swim, could even find refuge in those frigid waters. But when he was there it was like walking on eggshells as you found yourself torn between your desire to swim and your need to keep your secret.

It didn’t help that winter was ending. Though Snezhnaya could be bitterly cold in the winter, and though your village was often considered next to inhospitable in the winter, the summertime brought with it a heat that made swimming near unbearable in your oiled feathers. After all, penguins only lived in the most southern part of Teyvat.

It was a beautiful day, the afternoon that you finally broke. The temperatures had plummeted during the night before, and those you shivered as you made your way to the stony beach that was your usual takeoff spot, you felt yourself brimming with anticipation, the prospect of a long overdue swim lying in front of you.

You thought of Childe only once, as you shinnied down the craggy slope that led to the beach. He’d said that there was a Fatui meeting going on at the town inn, and though it was sure to be dull and irritating there was truly no way to escape it. You sympathized with Childe, understanding the difficulties in sitting still for two hours, trying o act as if you weren’t aching to be somewhere else, but secretly you thought the meeting a blessing in disguise. Using the pretense of the Guild being somewhat slow – the Adventurer’s Guild in Snezhnaya was somewhat disorganized due to Fatui competition – you claimed the need for a trek in the snow, holding off Childe’s ill hidden words of worry with the knowledge that you’d lived here longer than he had. You felt little regret, knowing that you’d lied to him. After all you’d been drilled to keep this a secret since the moment you were made aware of it. And as much as you loved Childe, that would never change.

You stumbled a bit in your mad dash to the little cavern which shielded you as you transformed. You’d tried directly transforming in water once, but having pressure almost destroy your lungs was something you weren’t excited to repeat. So instead, you waddled about the icy gravel, silently cursing your speed. You could never get used to how slow penguins were on land, nor could you understand how once you hit the ocean you could speed along faster than any human might.

The water was clear and cool, the icy shock dulled by the layers around you. It was interesting to see the lake in this manner, eyes suddenly unclouded by passing sand and debris. You swam along lazily, staying in the middle layer of the lake. Though you knew that you were going up for breath more than was really necessary, you were feeling surprisingly lazy, and diving to the bottom felt like too much effort.

The sudden pull of your body upwards caused a shriek to escape you. Thrashing about wildly you attempted to dive deeper, mind suddenly clouded by confusion and panic. A voice was calling out to you from above, but you made no effort to comprehend it, too focused on keeping in the sanctuary of the water. Though you knew that you’d swum in the opposite direct of the village, the possibility of being discovered by a human, for your captor was surely a human, was no less terrifying.

As you broke the water you felt like your heart had seized up in your throat, if that was even possible for a penguin. Whirling around this way and that you pulled desperately for the water, for the place you’d be able to outswim this intruder. Your brain registered the familiar clothing of the person holding onto you, and your horror both eased and multiplied as their voice sang through the air.

“Woah there buddy. Calm down!”

You ceased your movements for a second, brain somewhat stalling. Partner. You’d just been dragged out of the water by your partner. If you hadn’t been a bird you would’ve certainly started screaming, or at least asking Childe what the fuck he was thinking skipping the meeting for this.

“There you go.” Childe’s voice was soft and soothing, using a tone that you knew was reserved only for nightmares, injuries, and emotional distress. “It’s alright, it’s alright buddy. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. It’s not normal for penguins to be this far north you know. Besides the villagers have been calling you some sort of malevolent spirit and let me tell you, being harpooned isn’t very fun.”

Ruffling your feathers, you let out a squawk of indignancy, the idea that you’d actually get caught appalling. Childe just let out a laugh in return.

“I know, I know. No appreciation for the natural world. But that’s what it’s like in a village like this, insulated and unquestioning. You’re not the only one who’s suspicious; but let me tell you it’s better to be suspicious and free then stuck in the same place.” He let out a small sigh. “Even when our freedom comes at a price.”

You stared at him for a moment, taking in the soft sadness that radiated off the man you’d fallen in love with. Though a small piece of you felt pity, pity for the life Childe had been forced to live, the rest of you felt a melancholy sort of empathy, and in the center of that a kernel of trust. Childe’s words spoke to you, his status as an anomaly amidst the people who couldn’t understand the yearning to get away. Perhaps it would’ve been better if Childe was more content, staider, perhaps things would’ve been easier. Yet would you have fallen in love with that version of Childe? Would you feel as you did now?

Waddling towards solid ground, not trusting the large pieces of ice which bordered the lake, you closed your eyes. Immediately your form changed, your other self now shed like a second skin. Keeping your back turned away from Childe you stared at the snowy forest.

“You’re not the only one who feels trapped sometimes. I’m sorry that this village isn’t kind to you.”

“Oh the people are nice enough.” There was a wavering sort of humor in Childe’s voice, though you couldn’t tell if it was from shock or sadness.

“Still, I’m sorry. I realize that being here is stifling. Thank you, for visiting because of me.”

“Always.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t trust you.”

“We all have our secrets.”

“Still. I’m sorry.”

You felt the damp press of a coat against your back, warm breath tickling the back of your neck as Childe let out a small sigh. Leaning backwards you closed your eyes. For a moment there was no sound but the gentle lapping off waves, as snow floated down onto your heads.

“Hey, you don’t expect me to keep this secret free of charge do you.” The mischief had returned to Childe’s voice.

“What’s your price then, Mr. Penguin Catcher.”

“Sparring every day for two weeks.”

“… I think I’m going to go back into the water now.”

“Don’t you dare!”

Your laughs entwined as you raced away from Childe, filling the cold winter air with silent warmth.

 Kaeya

“I swear to fucking Barbatos if you don’t open.”

You kicked the door of your apartment, the muffled clunk doing little to sooth your raw nerves. Stupid, how could you’ve have been so stupid? You knew that Kaeya was working late, you knew that you were going to have to remember your keys. So how did you get here then, standing on the outside while your key was resting safe on your nightstand? How had you still managed to forget?

“You know darling sometimes your too reliant on me.” Kaeya had told you one day, voice singsong with amusement. “One day you’ll forget your head on your shoulders. At the very least you shouldn’t expect me to always unlock the door for you.”

Well sorry you couldn’t see into the future. Groaning you slid down the side of your door, face planted firmly in your arms. You needed to get inside somehow. You weren’t about to prove Kaeya right, not now. You would get in if it was the last thing you do. Lifting your head up you closed your eyes in thought. The two of your were sharing an apartment on the third floor, one of the perks being a mini balcony for flower boxes, not that you ever actually put flowers in there. You always kept that window unlocked in the summer, and though it pushed out you were sure you might be able to open it.

Scurrying back down the stairs and into the back alley of the building you glanced around you. Thankfully there was no one in sight. Praying that your pack wouldn’t be stolen off the hallway floor you sighed softly, letting a soft grin cross your face as your vision shifted to that of a cat.

Thankfully the building was made both of wood and stone, or you never would’ve been able to make it. The climb was perilous however, in your mind if not in real life. The world was so much larger around you, and though being light and having four legs to land on would certainly be an asset, minimal injuries was not something you wanted to bet on. Reaching up towards the final beam you hoisted yourself up onto the flower box, giddy with triumph as you went to paw at the window handle.

Your paws slid off the golden substance as if they were coated in oil. Letting out a hiss of frustration you tried again, letting your claws protract. Unfortunately, the handle still refused to move, as your paws slid off the shiny metal. Shit. Turning around agitatedly you let out a yowl of protest. You were stuck, you were absolutely stuck. What were you going to do now? Getting up was one thing, getting down Unfortunately, another entirely. Nor could you revert here, besides the flowerbox being somewhat small you didn’t want to test the weight of the plank that served as your impromptu floor. So what could you do?

“What’re you doing here?” A familiar voice quieted the shrieks which you were emitting, as the fur on your body stood up. Slowly the window began to open, as a familiar face peered down at you, smirk as brilliant as usual. “Don’t you want to come in?”

Though a part of you suddenly thought that being stuck three stories above ground was a lovely prospect, you leapt through the window, landing on the dresser before hitting the ground. Though you wanted to make a run for it the door was closed, and you cursed Kaeya for his forethought.

“Are you going to tell me what you were doing so far up off the ground?” Kaeya knelt down beside you.

Even if I could do you think I’d tell you why? You let out a mewl, eyes narrowing as Childe let out a chuckle.

“Fair enough, but really it’s quite impressive. You must be one determined cat. Here.” Scooping you up Kaeya let out a quiet sort of laugh. “Let’s get you some milk.”

You stood on the kitchen floor, staring silently at the bowl that had been placed in front of you, wondering if cats also thought about having their meals placed where humans had just been walking.

“What, not your style?” Kaeya cocked his head.

He’d been surprisingly nonchalant about the whole debacle, perhaps spurred on by your own lack of reaction. It was still disarming, almost as much as the smirk that refused to leave his face. What in Teyvat could he possibly be thinking, was a cat stuck on a balcony that funny to your cavalry captain?

“Come now, you’ve got to drink a little bit at least. It must be awful exhausting to climb up a building.”

Still you made no move.

“Or do you make it a point not to eat in cat form, darling.”

“How did you know?!” You sputtered, transforming back immediately.

Kaeya let out a burst of laughter. Clutching his stomach he rocked back and forth on his feet, wheezing as the moment continued, laughing so hard no sound came from his mouth.

“It’s not very funny!”

“What do you mean, of course it’s funny!” Kaeya managed to get out, gasping wildly. “I can’t believe you got locked out and decided to scale the building.”

“What else could I do? Wait, no, first, how did you even know it was me?!”

“Ah yes because you would normally leave your belongings in the middle of the hallway. Come on darling, that wasn’t the smartest move you’ve ever made. Besides there have been rumors about a ghost cat prowling Mondstadt and as the Favonius Cavalry Captain, well you couldn’t expect me to just let these questions go unanswered!”

“How long have you known.”

“About a month.”

You groaned, turning around and face planting into the bed. How could you’ve have been so careless? Underestimating Kaeya was a mistake that many made, but you’d thought that you’d managed to catch up to your partner in terms of stealth.

“It’s alright darling, the embarrassment will wear off in an hour.”

“I just can’t believe I’ve been so reckless.”

“Hey, you’ve been very good at hiding this.” Kaeya ruffled your hair gently and you turned to look up at him. His smirk was gone, and instead there was a soft smile painting his lips. “I just know you.”

You hummed softly smile as Kaeya continued to card his fingers through your hair. Suddenly the whole ordeal was weighing on you, and you felt the familiar tendrils of sleep wash over you.

“You should get some rest.” Kaeya kissed your forehead gently. “It’s been a long day.”

“Kaeya.” You murmured.

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

His voice was warm and full of care, guiding you softly to sleep.

 Ningguang

You never meant to get stuck in a storm. You’d never meant to go crying to the nearest place you could call a sanctuary. Most of all, you’d never meant to reveal your secret to her.

The wind whipped around you, throwing you this way and that. You let out a sort of screech, mind blank with terror as you went spinning through the sky, finding it impossible to right yourself in the air. There was no sign of the beautiful clear sky that had dawned this morning; clouds blanketed your vision, dark underbellies a silent warning as pelting rain fell in waves, made even more painful by the gusts of wind that accompanied it. The familiar clap of thunder boomed, seeming to rattle in your bones as you continued to struggle to find shelter. Spying a familiar building you could practically hear your groan of relief. Swooping down you prayed that this would go alright.

One of the things that Ningguang had told you she loved most about the Jade Chamber was the view.

“It’s so bright up there, you look out the windows and there’s nothing but sky, sky and the land of Rex Lapis. It’s a beautiful sight, I hope to one day see it again.”

You were grateful for her affinity for windows now, using their familiar landmark as a landing spot. Clinging onto the wall you began desperately pecking at the window, squawking and crying as the storm picked up again, desperate for the sanctuary of your partner’s office.

“What is a raven doing outside?” The sotto voice of your love one filled the air.

Opening the window Ningguang said nothing as you flew in, landing on the chair you usually sat in. There was a faint struggle as the wind whipped through the open window, but eventually a faint click could be heard and Ningguang returned to the center of the room. Staring down curiously at you she tilted her head.

“I didn’t think that ravens flew down from the forests, especially during a storm. Perhaps then you’re a messenger from the adepti?”

“N–” you squawked, knowing that you surely sounded strangled. Even after years of transformation you could never get used to the switch between voice box and syrinx. It was as if you’d never learned to speak from the beginning.

“Poor dear, are you tired from your journey? I’m not sure what ravens drink, water I presume.”

Walking over to the corner Ningguang poured some water out of a pitcher onto a saucer. You drank gratefully when she returned, reminding yourself to tell her that normally ravens had to consume both water and salts. Having finished the little ritual, you tried once more.

“N…” still your words weren’t coming. You wanted to say something important, to explain your circumstances. Still you found you could say nothing. As if reading your frustration Ningguang stroked your beak, touch gentle and comforting despite your avian state.

“Poor thing, have you been wounded?”

You looked up at your partner, taking in the smile on her face. You’d gotten better at reading her, reading this woman who people whispered was too proud, too cutthroat, without emotion and without empathy. How stupid those people were. You could see it in her eyes, see the worry. You were a stranger to her, and unlucky raven; and yet she worried for you.

“Ningguang.” You finally got out, tripping backwards slightly at the twisted sound of your own voice. Ningguang stared at you, no less surprised.

“You know my name. Then you must be from the adepti. Has something happened?”

“Ningguang!” You let out one more time, dancing up and down the arm of the chair you were perched on.”

“Is there something that must be done?”

“Ning–”

You stopped, shaking yourself. This was getting nowhere. What was even the point of hiding it at this point? You knew the fears that swirled inside you, knew the fear that had been instilled in you. Don’t tell anyone, don’t let them know. Normal people, they’ll never be able to understand, they’re too afraid, too proud, too lacking in empathy. And yet you knew that wasn’t true, at least that it wasn’t true of Ningguang. Sighing you hopped down on the floor. A few feathers floated out of your hair as you faced your partner.

“My dearest!”

“I’m sorry for the surprise.”

“Think nothing of it. I hope you are not injured.”

Hurrying over to you Ningguang picked up your arms, turning them around as she examined them. Giggling slightly, you shook your head.

“I’m fine my love, really. Only a little shaken.”

“I don’t understand what you were doing, flying out in the storm. The recklessness, I cannot believe you would do such a thing.”

“Sorry, I was being stupid; I didn’t think that the rain would be that bad.”

“I am only glad that you managed to make your way here. If not, well I would not appreciate having my partner felled by a storm.”

“Yeah…”

“Well,” Ningguang planted a few light kisses over the bridge of your nose, “I hope that you will learn, and that we do not have to repeat this performance. Honestly, to think I thought you an emissary of the adepti; I was almost worried this storm was an unnatural one. Morax knows the last thing Liyue needs or can afford is another god rising from the depths.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Well, if you truly are then you can help me with this paperwork. There appears to be some confusion in terms of the chain of ore production, I believe someone might be skimming from the top.”

In a moment she’d reverted back to her calm and collected self, but you could feel the unsaid words in the air. I will not ask you about your ability. I will trust you to tell me in your own time. It was a comforting message and as you sat down you wondered at how considered the woman you loved truly was.

“It looks like it will be a cool night.” Ningguang smiled up at the sky. The clouds had cleared and the moon shone a silvery light on the once more bustling city.

“Thank the gods. It’s been so hot recently.”

“Indeed.” Ningguang pressed a kiss to your cheek.

You gave her a short kiss back, fingers entwined with hers. The storm had been terrifying, as had the moments after, the moments when you felt you had too much to say and nothing at all. The moments when you had no control.

And yet Ningguang had given you the gift of time, time and patience. One day you would tell her about your abilities, about the blessing, or perhaps the curse, you’d been given at birth. You knew that when that day came you wouldn’t have to worry. So, for now you simply walked home together, hands entwined, both content in the silence of trust.

[bucky-at-bedtime]

Stucky Fic Recs

So basically I went through all of my ao3 bookmarks and collated a list of some of my favourites (I couldn't fit all of them on this list, so if anyone shows interest there might be a part two).

Please read tags and descriptions of the works before reading, some of them are pretty dark or extremely horny so just make sure you check that the fic is for you!!

Please please please send me your favourite fics in return! I am always happy to hear fic recs, headcanons and any other ideas/comments you all have!

Without any further ado, here are a few of my favourite Stucky fics:

‘Not Easily Conquered’ series by dropdeaddream, WhatAreFear

Rating: M, Words: 117,692

https://archiveofourown.org/series/115516

“I told you, you heard me: I told you never to follow me into Hell. Now I’m not vain enough to think that’s why you’re out here now — if there’s any person in what’s left of this God forsaken planet who’s part of a bigger picture, it’d be you. But I’ll keep saying it until it sticks. You got nothing to prove. I’m not worth much, I damn well know that, but I’ll ask you anyway: Stay for me. If you leave me alone in this world I’ll turn into something terrible. I’ll turn into the nasty creature that’s growing inside me. This war, it’ll swallow me whole”

[To me, this fic is like the classic Stucky 101 fanfic – if you're a Stucky fan and you haven't read this, I highly recommend it. The authors explore the Steve/Bucky relationship in such an interesting, tragic, emotive way and I cry every time I read it. I couldn't praise this work enough.]

‘Ain’t No Grave’ series by spitandvinegar

Rating: M-E, Words: 131,789

https://archiveofourown.org/series/426577

"Yeah, he never calls me by my name," Steve says. "It's always champ, ace, hotshot, that kinda thing."

"Man, that is flirting," Sam says. "That nicknames thing, he is flirting with you. He's just working his way up to calling you baby or something."

Steve goes redder than a damn coke can. Sam pumps his fist. "Yes, I am so right, I am wise as hell. He did, didn't he?"

"He called me sweetheart," Steve says grimly, "because he's a drug addict with brain damage."

"Or because he looooooves you," Sam says. Captain America throws a cookie at his head. Sam eats it, because he deserves a treat for being so damn wise.”

[I'm currently re-reading this fic and absolutely loving it. The way spitandvinegar writes Bucky's road towards recovery and Steve's entire characterisation – it's all just so good. It's another one that covers some pretty dark themes, so make sure you're checkin those tags!]

'Einherjar' by thecommodore_squid

Rating: M, Words: 71297

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7157024/chapters/16249814

But Steve was fine.

Sure, he hadn’t seen Bucky in months, and sometimes he was at the punching bag so long that his skin started to peel off to expose the bones of his fingers, and sometimes he couldn’t find the energy to drag himself out of bed, and sometimes he went weeks without sleeping, and sometimes he thought about throwing himself head-first off the nearest tall structure, but he was fine.

He was absolutely, perfectly, one-hundred percent, fucking fine.

AKA In which Steve learns how to deal with his shit, and Bucky learns how to stop leaving.

[basically the definition of a recovery fic, I absolutely adore it. This is tragic and amazing and makes me cry and smile. It’s got a bunch of fantastic cameos and It really just ticks so many of my boxes.]

‘Like real People do’ by 2bestfriends

Rating: E, Words: 67,775

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19887376/chapters/47103217

“"Ask me what?" demands Bucky. "I didn't hear a question."

Steve licks his lips. "Will you stay with me? Will you come back home, Buck?"

"Home," repeats Bucky in a small voice, and then he's crying for real.”

[Basically soft lumberjack!steve and lonely twink!bucky being horny and in love. This is a comfort fic for that’s really just about my favourite boys falling in love.]

‘This City Bleeds it’s Aching Heart’ by anonymous

Rating: E, Words: 34,537

https://archiveofourown.org/works/835829/chapters/1591736

“The one where Steve and Bucky pose as a happily married couple while on a mission for SHIELD, to catch an international arms dealer hiding in a suburban neighbourhood.”

[The plot in this one is just a good time and i think it’s just a really fun take on the fake relationship trope. Also some really great characterisation.]

‘Home is Wherever I’m With You’ by cydonic

Rating: E, Words: 88,570

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18868081/chapters/44783077

“Bucky kisses Steve and Emma goodbye before they leave for school, which is why – partway down the road – Amelia turns to him and asks, “why are you and Daddy kissing?”

Which is definitely a conversation Bucky’s been expecting since Steve just did it, but it still takes him by surprise. Again, he thinks he should wait for Steve, but Amelia’s not the sort of kid to let anything rest. Plus, Bucky’s taking her to school where she will undoubtedly share the story with anyone who’ll listen.

He also stops to think that Steve’s asked him to stay, which means Bucky must be trusted with their happiness and well-being, at least in some small capacity.

Bucky clears his throat and searches for some explanation that will help Amelia make sense of this sudden turn of events. “Because we love each other,” is all he comes up with.”

[Bear with me, this is a House Flipper!Bucky Au. And dad!Steve. I just love a found family trope I’m not gonna lie to you. Another comfort fic that warms my lil heart.]

‘Lucky Seven’ by BetteNoire (WeAreWolves)

Rating: E, Words: 94,364

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7033105/chapters/16002481

“Back from where--?” James says, the sentence ending in a distinctly undignified squawk as Steve sweeps him up in his arms, bridal-style, and starts carrying him upstairs.

James tenses momentarily then relaxes into Steve's arms and throws back his head and starts laughing. The laughter peals out of him, his body shaking, his amusement occasionally broken by little gasps of pain.

“What's so funny?” Steve frowns.

“You are,” James says, still giggling. “You're ridiculous, Steve Rogers.”

“Behave. Or I will drop you,” Steve growls.

[The shrunkyclunks modern AU of my dreams featuring Mechanic!Bucky and cap!Steve and some really beautiful writing.]

'Dishonor On Your Cow' by mandarou

Rating: E, Words: 111695

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10659162/chapters/23589582

“Sergeant Barnes?”

“Oh, hell no, don’t call him that, man,” Sam warned.

“Captain Fuck Off!” Barnes shouted over him. “Fight me!”

Steve didn’t know whether to laugh or just slink away. He managed to combine the two by pacing two steps and snorting instead. Like a bull.

“I’m gonna need you to calm your ass, Barnes,” Sam said as he went limp again, obstructing Barnes’s struggling under him. “This is so undignified. That is Captain goddamn America.”

“Captain goddamn America!” Barnes repeated, louder. And angrier.

Steve cleared his throat again. “I’ve been looking for you,” he told Barnes.

“I hope you brought lube this time!” Barnes shouted.

[I’m not gonna lie it took me a minute to get into this one but by the end I was crying with them, laughing with them, and just really in my feels. Some very insane things happen so here’s a few of my favourite tags: ‘Seargent Barnes is done with your Shit Steve’, ‘blatant disrespect of a man’s motorcycle’, ‘Steve you ding dong’ and ‘PR nightmares in the form of Supersoldiers’.]

Propietary Information by Notlucy

Rating: E, Words: 85141

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11964402/chapters/27054777

“Okay, so Bucky Barnes has a crush on Steve Rogers. The guy's gorgeous, talented and, oh yeah, the Chief Design Officer of the biggest tech company in the world. In other words: he's so far out of Bucky's league that he might as well be in a different stratosphere.”

[We were never gonna get through this list without a Sugar Daddy!AU (I have a weakness). This one is… saucy and sexy and sweet and uh pretty kinky so read the tags and all. I’ve read it a few times, and I love the way the author has written Steve in this one, he just makes my heart go '!!!']

‘Roots Have Grown’ by AustinB

Rating: M, Words: 17280

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6912451/chapters/15767941

“Bucky is a mildly agoraphobic veteran with funds to spare, who becomes enamored with the cute blonde guy in his building.

So when Steve mentions needing a roommate to cut down on rent costs, Bucky decides it would be a good idea to volunteer.”

[Another weakness of mine is Roommate AUs, and this one is phenomenal. I tend to go for post serum!Steve stories more often, but this is a pre-serum Steve that I just adore.]

‘The Cold Never Bothered me Anyway’ by icoulddothisallday

Rating: E, Words:75562

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11728869/chapters/26425530

“Bucky Barnes has spent his whole life in a state of mild hypothermia. Steve Rogers has spent the last 70 years in the ice. The two things aren’t related until, suddenly, they are. Shrunkyclunks soulmate AU (AKA the awkward bb au).”

[I think this is the only soulmate AU in my bookmarks? I would totally be down to read more though! This one is really fun and really enjoy Bucky’s characterisation here!]

'War, Children' by Nonymos

Rating: E, Words: 106615

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5373050/chapters/12409394

“After Bucky was released from the hospital, it only took him a couple of weeks to give up on himself. Difficult to believe in any kind of future when the simple act of staying alive was almost too big an effort.

Out the frosted window, across the street, there was a tiny homeless guy burrowing under an awning.”

[An interesting exploration of Bucky’s PTSD with a trans!Steve which was a cool take on his character too!]

'The Company You Keep' by orbingarrow

Rating: G, Words: 51191

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3468605/chapters/7613072

“Hurt, hungry, and on the run, the Winter Soldier doesn’t have a lot of safe options to go to for help. Figuring that any friend of Captain Steve Rogers is unlikely to be HYDRA, Bucky takes a chance and reaches out to the first Avenger he can find.

It works out better than anyone could have expected. Eventually.”

[hurt/comfort, recovering Bucky, protective Steve, found family and domestic avengers, need I say more? I absolutely loved this one]

[impalementation]

spike, angel, buffy & romanticism: part 3

part 1: “When you kiss me I want to die”: Angel and the high school seasons

part 2: “Love isn’t brains, children”: Enter Spike as the id

* 

“Something effulgent”: Season five and the construction of Spike the romantic

Prior to becoming a romantic interest, Spike is everything I discussed in the last section. He is an id and a mirror for Buffy, he’s prone to both romantic exaggeration and cutting realism, and his liminality suggests ambiguity. But outside of “Lovers Walk”, the writing doesn’t actually delve too deeply into Spike’s nature as a romantic. If you stopped the canon at “Restless”, you’d probably think that Spike’s love for Drusilla was intriguing, but that the show hadn’t really gone anywhere with the implications of it, and for all you knew, that might not be an important part of his character anymore. So one of the most interesting things about season five to me, is that in this season in which the writers first consciously, deliberately decide to explore the sexual and romantic tension between Spike and Buffy, they also emphasize Spike’s romanticism more than ever. The choice to define Spike by his romanticism is a choice that follows naturally from everything established about his character, but it was also not an inevitable choice. Therefore, it’s a choice worth looking at in some detail.

Consider everything that “Fool For Love” establishes about Spike, especially the things that contradict what was supposedly canon at the time. It makes Drusilla his sire instead of Angel, meaning that he is sired by a romantic connection, and as a direct result of heartbreak. It makes him a poet living in the middle of the Victorian era, an age at odds with his previous ages of “barely 200” and “126”. Meaning that the writing specifically decides to ignore its canon in order to associate him with an era in which passions would have been repressed (rather than the Romantic era of the early 1800’s or the modern energy of the early 1900’s). Moreover, the episode reveals his entire aesthetic and personality to essentially be a construct. But most tellingly of all, it reveals him to be an idealist. Spike is not just a performance artist; he yearns for the “effulgent”, for something “glowing and glistening” that the “vulgarians” of the world don’t understand. In other words, he yearns for something bigger and more beautiful than life: something romantic. Later, he chases after “death, glory, and sod all else.” Spike may be a “fool for love”, who has a romantic view of romantic love specifically, but the episode is very clear about the fact that he is also a romantic more generally. When Drusilla turns him, she doesn’t tempt him by telling him she’ll love him forever. She tempts him by offering him “something…effulgent”. (Which, in typical Spike form, the episode immediately undercuts by having him say “ow” instead of swooning romantically). The fact that “Fool For Love”, Spike’s major backstory episode, is so determined to paint him as a romantic--and in particular, a disappointed, frustrated romantic--that it is willing to contradict canon to do so, tells you that this choice was important for framing Spike and his new, ongoing thematic role.

I’ve talked in the past about how season five is all about the tension between the mythical and the mortal--between big, grand, sweeping narratives, and the reality of being human. Buffy is the Slayer, but she’s also just a girl who loses her mother. Dawn is the key, but she’s also just a confused and hormonal fourteen-year-old. Willow is a powerful witch, but she also just wants her girlfriend to be okay. Glory is a god, but she’s also a human man named Ben, and finds herself increasingly weakened by his emotions. And Spike embodies this tension perfectly. He’s a soulless vampire with a lifetime of bloodshed behind him, but he’s also this silly, human man who wants to love and be loved. He wants big, grand things, but every time they are frustrated by a Victorian society, a rejection, a chip, a pratfall, or dying with an “ow”. Furthermore, his season five storyline is all about the tension between loving in an exalted, yet often selfish way, versus loving in a “real” or selfless way. 

There was a fascinating piece a ways back that discussed how Spike’s attempts to woo Buffy in season five almost perfectly match the romantic narratives of Courtly Love. In the words of the author:

The term "Courtly Love" is used to describe a certain kind of relationship common in romantic medieval literature. The Knight/Lover finds himself desperately and piteously enamored of a divinely beautiful but unobtainable woman. After a period of distressed introspection, he offers himself as her faithful servant and goes forth to perform brave deeds in her honor. His desire to impress her and to be found worthy of her gradually transforms and ennobles him; his sufferings -- inner turmoil, doubts as to the lady's care of him, as well as physical travails -- ultimately lends him wisdom, patience, and virtue and his acts themselves worldly renown.

You can see for yourself how well that description fits Spike’s arc. He fixates on the torturous, abject nature of his love, and has it in his head that he can perform deeds and demonstrate virtue, and this will prove to Buffy that he is worthy of her. But despite Spike’s gradual ennobling over the course of the season, I think it would be a mistake to see the season as using the Courtly Love narrative uncritically, or even just ironically. The same way it would be a mistake to see season two as using the Gothic uncritically. Spike is as much Don Quixote as he is Lancelot. He is a character that deliberately tries to act out romantic tropes, giving the writing an opportunity to satirize those tropes, including the tropes of chivalric romance. In particular, the writing criticizes Spike’s (very chivalric) fixation on love as a personal agony, something that is more about pain--and specifically, his pain--than building a real relationship. Over and over in season five, he is forced to abandon these sorts of flattering romantic mindsets in favor of a more complicated reality. 

So at first, Spike’s “deeds” tend to be shallow and vaguely transactional. He tries to help Buffy in “Checkpoint” even though she doesn’t want it (and insults her when she doesn’t appreciate it), he asks “what the hell does it take?” when Buffy is unimpressed by him not feeding on “bleeding disaster victims” in “Triangle”, he rants bitterly at a mannequin when Buffy fails to be grateful to him for taking her to Riley in “Into the Woods”, and he is angry and confused when Buffy is unmoved by his offer to stake Drusilla in “Crush”. While these attempts to symbolically reject his evilness are startling for a soulless vampire, and although Spike certainly feels like he is fundamentally altering himself for Buffy’s sake, none of it is based on understanding or supporting Buffy in a way that she would actually find substantial. Moreover, he lashes out when his gestures fail to win her attention or affection. He has an idea in his head of how their romantic scenes should play out, and reacts petulantly when reality fails to live up to it. 

But these incidents of self-interested narrativizing are also continuously contrasted with scenes in which Spike reacts with real generosity, or is surprised when he realizes he’s touched something emotionally genuine. When Buffy seeks him out in “Checkpoint”, his mannerisms instantly change when he realizes she actually needs real help (“You’re the only one strong enough to protect them”), rather than the performed help he offered at the beginning of the episode. At the end of “Fool For Love” he’s struck dumb by Buffy’s grief, and his antagonistic posturing all evening melts away. He abandons his romantic vision of their erotic, life-and-death rivalry in favor of real, awkward emotional intimacy. In “Forever” he tries to anonymously leave flowers for Joyce, and reacts angrily when he’s denied—but this time not because he wanted something from Buffy. Simply because he wanted to do something meaningful. 

This contradictory behavior comes to a head in “Intervention”, the episode in which Spike finally begins to understand the difference between real and transactional generosity. Up until that point, Spike has been reacting both selfishly and unselfishly, but he hasn’t been able to truly distinguish between them, which is why he keeps repeating the same mistakes. Although he touches something real at the end of “Fool For Love”, for instance, he goes on to rifle through Buffy’s intimates in the very next episode. And so “Intervention” has Spike go to extremes of fakeness and reality. He gives up on having the real Buffy, and seeks out an artificial substitute that lets him live out his cheesiest romance novel scripts. It’s important that the Buffybot isn’t just a sexbot, even if he does have sex with her. She’s a bot he plays out romantic scenarios with the way he played them with Harmony in “Crush”, allowing him to almost literally live within a fiction. But then he “gives up” on having Buffy in a way that’s actually real, by offering up his life. He lets himself be tortured, and potentially killed, for no other reason than that to do otherwise would cause Buffy pain. The focus is on her pain, not his. For the first time, he acts like the Knight he’s been trying to be all along. He performs a grand, heroic deed that causes the object of his affection to see him in a different light, and even grant him a kiss. Yet ironically, as part of learning the difference between real and fake, he ceases to press for Buffy’s reciprocation. Through the end of season five, Spike continues to act the selfless Knight, assisting Buffy in her heroism without asking for anything in return. Which culminates in his declaration that he knows Buffy “will never love him”, even after he’s promised her the deed of protecting Dawn, and even though she allows a kind of intimacy by letting him back in her house. He proves that he sees those gestures for what they are, rather than in a transactional light. The irony of the way Spike fulfills the narrative of chivalric romance, is that his ennobling involves letting aspects of that narrative go. 

In a Courtly Love narrative, the object of the Knight’s affection is fundamentally pedestalized. The Knight himself might be flawed, but the woman he pines after is not. She is “divinely beautiful” and “unobtainable”, something above him and almost more than human. This is why it’s so comic that in Don Quixote, which was a direct satire of chivalric romance, Alonso Quixano’s “lady love” is a vulgar peasant farmgirl who has no idea who he is. (Think of the way Spike asks if Buffy is tough in “School Hard” or threatens to “take her apart” despite “how brilliant she is” in “The Initiative”, followed by scenes where Buffy is acting like the teenage girl she is. Or how Giles in “Checkpoint” says that Buffy has “acquired a remarkable focus” before cutting to Buffy yawning.). Although it’s true that Buffy is beautiful, and supernatural, and profoundly moral, she is also very human, and the writing is very concerned with that humanity. Season five in particular, as I’ve mentioned, is preoccupied with the duality of Buffy’s mythic and mortal nature. Thus it becomes significant that Buffy is assigned such a heightened role in Spike’s chivalric narrative. Just Spike is at once Lancelot and Don Quixote, Buffy is at once Achilles, Dulcinea, and a coming-of-age protagonist. 

And part of the “lesson” of Spike’s arc is for him to see both sides of the roles they embody. One of my favorite things about the scene in Buffy’s house in “The Gift” is how adroitly it conveys the dualities of both Buffy and Spike with simple, but poetic imagery and language. Buffy stands above Spike on her steps, conveying her elevated role, and Spike honors the way her heroic status has inspired him by physically looking up to her as he explains that he expects nothing from her. But by expecting nothing from her, and promising to protect her sister, he also honors the fact that she is a real person with no obligation to him, and a younger sister she cares about more than anything. He also honors his own duality by at once making Knightly promises, and acknowledging that he sees through his former delusions: “I know that I’m a monster, but you treat me like a man.” In “Fool For Love” he tried to acknowledge the same duality of realism and romance, by declaring to Cecily that “I know I’m a bad poet, but I’m a good man.” But at the time, he was an innocent, whose desire to be seen, and whose romantic avoidance of “dark, ugly things”, left him unprepared to understand how Cecily really saw him (similar to Spike’s insistence in “Crush” that what he and Buffy have “isn’t pretty, but it’s real” just before Buffy locks him out). Spike is a character defined simultaneously by continuous disillusionment and dogged aspiration, which is why he makes perfect sense as a character to embody a season torn between the pain of being human, and the wonder of the gift of love.

Fittingly, the season ends with Spike’s most devastating loss of innocence of all. He fails to be the hero for Buffy or Dawn (note that Knightly language he uses on the tower: “I made a promise to a lady”), and he loses the woman he loves. He may have become more virtuous, but unlike in a chivalric romance, that virtue wins him neither Buffy, nor something flattering like “world reknown.” The climax of the “The Gift” is full of romance—a god, a troll hammer, a damsel on a tower, a heroic self-sacrifice, a vampire transformed into a Knight—but the end result is that Buffy is dead, in part because he wasn’t good enough, and all that he and the Scoobies can do is grieve. Stories got Spike nothing, even when reality finally lived up to them. It is a swan song to the myths of childhood, and on the other side of Glory’s portal, Spike and the other characters will have to confront a world where those myths have been left behind.

part 4: “But I can’t fool myself. Or Spike, for some reason.”: Buffy and Spike as a blended self