#with distinct separated povs / scenes
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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year ago
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"i have to go to sleep" i say
"i really have to go to sleep" i say again, four hours later
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starlooove · 2 months ago
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Making my vs siblings? More likely than u think
#my mv is a nomad and my fv is a streetkid#as of now since I’m playing fv rn I’m gonna go from hee pov#the backstory would change a bit if it was mv yknow the vibes#basically twins separated at birth cliche i know#fv stayed in nc mv went with other parent out of city#parental death and info drop (on the death bed! the parents suck :(#makes fv go out. she tells everyone she’s going to Atlanta bc there’s stigma behind nomads#or Atlanta is the start of the search whatever#actually finds mv relatively quickl#Bc - this is where timeline and events would shift if it was from m vs perspective - the bakkers just broke up!#parent either died or joined snake nation idc. prolly died. maybe died in the process. whatever.#anyways v is radioing out to anybody bc his car broke down and he already pissed of the sheriff. he got enough juice to GET to the tower but#now hes stranded in this white ass town help.#Uhm how does v know this is her brother??? uhm. whatever. maybe she doesn’t and just decides to help who cares. maybe she thinks he can help#maybe he name drops bakkers as a last ditch effort or smth#anyways she goes to help they see eachother and it’s like that Tinkerbell scene#the two years in Atlanta are actually two years fucking around and causing trouble with her twin#but mv longs to be apart of a bigger family again and fv is dropping hints about going home :(#mv gets picked up by the aldecados (yeah! yes!) and fv goes back to nc. they promise to keep in touch.#like genuinely teary ass reunion. I usually have all my vs do suicide endings but they’d prolly both pick nomad life w/ the other in this au#unless….smth….unfortunate. were to happen to their dear sibling :(#Uhm anyways yeah.#also they’re both gay and mv is transmasc whilst fv is nb#the v is. I don’t have names for them yet so I’ll say coincidence but I don’t want it to be. they both have v names but going by v was a#coincidence? OH lmao their parents called them v shorthand they thought it was cute growing up when they met eachother they realized they#prolly didn’t care to remember which twin they had (yeah they’re that type of bad)#Uhm. last thing the way the playthroughs are going they have distinct personalities and merc styles I’ll make false promises to get into#but all that really matters is post heist fv drops off the face of the earth and avoids mv bc she can’t give him a family just to rip it#away like this but for mv the second he wakes up at Vic’s he calls her sobbing and wailing into the phone#when it’s mv he goes ‘why can’t u be nicer :/‘ when it’s fv she punches Johnny back ok that’s all
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phoenixlionme · 8 months ago
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NOTE: I know that Charlie is looking at her father in the gif, I tried to find a pic or gif of her looking the other way but couldn't find it. So, I decided to use this given this is in the same song/scene.
I love this brief Chaggie moment in "More Than Anything" because of how Vaggie's shot in the song is so distinct from the others - Angel Dust, Husk, and Sir Pentious are in the darkness and even though Alastor and Niffty show up after Vaggie's turn, they are also in the shadows of the song. But Vaggie? She is entirely surrounded by the bright light. While Charlie does care and love everyone in the Hotel, Vaggie holds a special place in her heart. And I like to discuss the importance of this shot in three separate forms:
Foreshadowing - Given that it's revealed that Vaggie is a Fallen Angel, her being bather in light serves as a subtle bit of foreshadowing. Angels are often attributed to light and brightness.
Symbolism - As stated in the above paragraph, Vaggie is the one of the main cast featured most prominently in the light for this song; and from Charlie's POV, given the most focus as well. This all makes sense because it has been Vaggie who has always supported and believed in Charlie's dreams and ideas; while also being honest and realistic. Initially, the ONLY one in all of Hell to believe in her. While we don't know their full story about their relationship (aside from their first meeting), I hope (and feel) it'll get explored in Season 2. I think Charlie was in a dark place when she found Vaggie - mother gone, estranged from father, treated like a joke from her citizens, and it's implied she doesn't have any close friends aside from her parents and Razzle and Dazzle; not having a proper support system can wear on one's soul. Then, she rescues an injured Sinner (Angel); they start off as friends then girlfriends, and at some point Vaggie hears Charlie's dream' and maybe the Princess is once again expecting her newfound friend/crush to say it's impossible. But it doesn't happen; instead, Vaggie supports the idea. And Charlie is most likely blown away and falls a more in love with the one-eyed protector. I know given Vaggie's subtle moth theme, people say that she's drawn to Charlie's light, which is true, but so is the opposite - Charlie was drawn by Vaggie's light - not in the literal sense given her Angel heritage but in the symbolic light of hope.
Future Predictions?- I like to think that the aftermath of Season 1 which included Sir Pentious' death (until she learns of his ascension), stress from the Hotel, Lute's possible retribution, Lilith's possible chaotic return, the Vees' aggression, etc. It's all going to take a toll on Charlie, possibly pushing her optimism. Maybe leading to an emotional breakdown like she had in Season 1, but this time? Much worse. But it'll be Vaggie that guides her towards the light - another subtle possible foreshadowing was in the More Than Anything reprise where Vaggie pulls Charlie from the dark side of the hallway to the light.
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izartn · 10 months ago
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So, about how I see Link Click's Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi relationship:
As it stands in canon? Queerplatonic partners. And it's convenient for the plot that they're like this.
Because of Chinese censorship it can't be explicitly romantic, yes I know it. Let me tell why it's queerplatonic for me. The way these two have intertwined their lives and futures together?!
Owning a business and living together, that hint in ep2 (comparing them to the subtextually older lesbian couple who also came across as queerplatonic bc censure) where Xiaoshi wonders/fears if years down the line he and Lu Guang will separate/break up implying their partnership is for life as far as he's concerned (the parallel can be taken as a subtext romance too but follow me we're talking text), the way they were already going also on vacancies together three years prev in canon, etc...
Without entering on their complimentary powers and the way the dives need both of them if they want security in not screwing the past, and the inmense trust and vulnerability the dives themselves require?
They're not simply best friends either.
Those aren't the actions of normal, totally not queer friends. Cheng Xiaoshi checks out women on the dives, sure, (and men too when the host is feeling it which I love bc they can't address it directly bc censorship and then it comes across as Xiaoshi being super confident in his own relationship to sexuality/gender) but I don't think he would ever date bc Lu Guang is already there, filling that place in his life minus sex and romance but all that same companionship and intensity of feeling.
These two meet in what, the last year/s of High School and then proceeded to latch onto each other with a commitment reserved for romantic partners.
And I know you want to say, "it's the censorship! they'd be romantic and canon if not for the censorship!"
Are you sure? Are you sure the story would work if there were explicit romance in it? (I mean, if they could I'm pretty sure they would have nailed it anyways but allow me my a-spec delusions) Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang feel so much like an already established pair, they work like one, and Link Click is not about them coming together like many other stories. Are you sure this would work as BL?
There's a distinct difference on the way they start the show already like six years at least since they're best friends and three or two since they live together. That's not usually how it goes. I'm talking not just romances but every buddy or nakama anime/show, where the protag has to learn to work with who will be his best friend or rival. These stories usually have the same kind of plot progression as a romance which is why they work so well when you make the subtext text.
But a story where the main romance is already established and we're following a plot that has nothing to do with it? Much more rare, even stranger to find them well done although there are some very good ones and with the friendships instead of romo they're more common. For example, Soul Eater, which is all about the trials of it and how they hace to truly come to understand each other. That's Link Click a bit, but not even then.
Link Click juggling a budding romance between Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi with all the other stuff is going on?? Messier for sure. I don't know if people would have liked it as much or if the donghua would have been as well done.
As it is, Link Click has the exact level of emotional connection between our protags it needs to have incredibly high stakes emotionally and at the same time not need a detour by romantic scenes/fanservice that would derail the plot or the other charas importance. That it happens to be pretty queer anyways in a platonic way?
Nice for the aroace-spec folks watching the show xD
Btw, I'm pretty sure in season 3 we're going to get more of Lu Guang's PoV, the origins of their powers and the past between him and Xiaoshi. It'll probably dig more into the aspect of "testing their bond and coming stronger bc of it" which is were the romantic subtext usually comes through...
—unless you're very very good at writing like Arakawa in FMA, who nailed the brotherly relationship without tipping into incest subtext which I've seen more than a few writers fumble. or the latest D&D film for the platonic childrearing and partnership for a no familial example between a man and a woman also very very difficult to get right for writers dunno why—
... but until then, for now I'm incredibly satisfied by the canon.
The other read of course it that they're already a couple since well before the start of season 1, and to mentally edit what we saw in canon with that lens (it wouldn't be very difficult honestly) but reading only the text? Queerplatonic partners!
There also how Xiaoshi and Lu Guang don't have that anxiety/insecurity of their bond that makes it so easy to read the want for something, like a romance for shipping purposes. Despite the disagreements on the Dives or the trials of season 2 or Lu Guang keeping secret Cheng Xiaoshi future/past death they read very steady which is fun. I love some good established relationship, you can go to deeper places when the base is already secure and the risk is higher for the characters. Plus I love domesticity! Yes, I do my angsty/Gothic leanings notwithstanding. Don't you know you need a home for the Gothic to be effective?
#link click#meta#link click meta#lu guang#cheng xiaoshi#shiguang#my thoughts#all of this to say that I don't exactly ship them#Although I've been tagging fanart and meta with their shipname#bc I dont not ship them#honestly?#it's because despite it all I'm very much a canon girl so I can't help but see shiguang on that same romo-not romo limbo#canon present us with#loving the fics though#and Lu Guang is so tragic timetraveler for love coded is not funny#which is the reason I'm sure season 3 will give me that shift towards a more romantic lense to their relationship#also the way they made sure to sibling-fy qiao ling and cheng xiaoshi was fun XD#in conclusion: I think Link Click being a danmei wouldn't have worked#precisely bc it wasnt created as danmei the story as it is works almost perfectly#and right now Im not sure if I would want the romance at the expense of everything else the plot is doing#....qiang jin jiu did it well on the second half though#but it had the first part to go from a enemies-to-lovers and establishing the romance#I don't think I've seen a danmei start with a established romantic relationship bc the genre being a romance tells you that's#what's going to be centered#link click would had to be a just a time travel thriller with queer elements (which it is)#and I don't know#I'd love it but I bet we'll have lots of people annoyed/annoying bc they're here for the romance#Instead of taking the story for what it is#but then romance (queer romance) doesn't devalue the storytelling#ah the conflict of wanting a-spec queer stories VS censorship
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ninadove · 2 months ago
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Underrated perks of using he/they for Adrien:
It allows for distinction from Felix
It allows for distinction from Felix
Yes, those are two separate points. Allow me to elaborate:
is about ensuring the reader (and sometimes yours truly, who can get Very Tired) understands who is talking and/or acting when the cousins share the stage.
is a clue. If you’re following “Adrien”’s POV but A. his name isn’t actually written out and B. he consistently uses he/him throughout the scene, there’s a non-negligible chance I’m messing with you. Or perhaps I want you to believe I’m messing with you. Trust no one 🦚
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kings-highway · 3 months ago
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Hi King!!! I absolutely adore your fics my dude, I found your trapped in the wilderness fic like a year or two back, forgot about it, and then found your Daichi time travel fic. So you can imagine my delighted surprise when I looked at your ao3 account and found out this was the same author! I was like “0o0, I KNOW YOU!! :D” Suffice to say I love your Haikyuu fics they are an absolute gem to read (Time Enough to Risk it All and Paranormality are my personal faves)
I had a question for you, similar to a previous ask you got about tips on writing? Not general tips mind you, I’m trying to write a Haikyuu fanfic myself starring Oikawa, and I wanted to know if you had any writing tips regarding character writing specifically? Like, in regards to getting into a character’s head and how that influences the POV? I’m probably going to have multiple POVs in different chapters, but I don’t want to run into the old trap of, “These are two separate characters but they sound like the same person” y’know? Also want to make sure I’m avoiding OOC territory, while taking any potential plot developments and how that would change a character into account. And I know you’re good at that, all your interpretations of the Haikyuu cast feel distinct yet true to the characters at their core!
aaaaaaaaaa oh my god thank you so much 😭 I'm very glad you've liked my silly stories so much. I will do my best to provide advice for your question here...
**Keeping Characters In Character - this is VERY fanfic specific!!**
[obv. writing original work requires strong character voice but the question and this response is super focused on characters that you have source material to work with]
1. my immediate first thought, and the thing I default to the most, is **Pay Attention To How Other Characters Talk About Them** yes, its all fine and dandy to go off and say "oh theyve got these secret other side-" because yeah!! they probably do!! everyone is multiple people depending on the circumstance!! but the way other characters talk about them or act around them really will define how your character is behaving, because it shows how they are *choosing* to behave (and what can be seen from the outside) Paying attention to the relative relationships of these characters describing them matter too. Here are examples (all from Haikyuu) of how I do this:
1. Daichi
[in early season 1, when Daichi gets mad at the duo, Suga and Tanaka both start trying to fuck off out of scene in preparation; similarly, both Suga and Tanaka try to hide their secret practice from him.] = People are generally afraid of him, or aware that getting yelled at is on the table, but he's predictable. They both start acting afraid BEFORE he gets angry because they are familiar with his patterns. [Suga and Asahi comment on it feeling weird when he's nice to them, and he snaps at them to say he could be mean instead.] = His casual conversational tone isn't very complimentary. Since we dont see him being overtly mean, I asssume this means he is on the quieter side, probably very reserved, and typically speaks up to correct someone or direct and take control of a conversation. Being overtly nice is seen as a deviation is his conversational habits. [Noya acts very distinctly interested and pleased when he learns Daichi has given him a cool nickname] = People hold a lot of respect for him. Given the previous details, we can assume this is at least in part due to him often withholding such praise, but also we can use it to temper the previous notes. His "meanness" is not coming across as malice, but rather something worth respecting or justified in some way.
Application in Writing: Dialogue should be direct and consistent, use shorter sentences and have him think before he speaks. He finds annoyance and anger easier to express and will likely withhold affectionate conversations from everyone regardless of closeness of friendship level. While he comes across mean, he is not insulting, belittling or cruel, and since people have significant respect for him, he likely avoids situations that would make him look foolish, and will probably be the last to join in on the fun.
QUICKER EXAMPLES:
2. Suga [Every character describes Suga as nice and kind, there is no "bad review" of him.] = No matter his opinion of someone, Suga will use kind, gentle language with them and avoid giving them a reason to dislike him.
3. Oikawa [Iwaizumi, in voice over, says something to the effect of: "despite how he might seem, Oikawa is actually a pretty goofy guy."] = While not given the opportunity often, Oikawa is playful, unserious and silly - the word "goofy" is important to note. Its not funny. Comedians are funny. Dogs with long floopy ears are "goofy" - However he either intentionally or unintentionally chooses not to behave this way often. Either way, he has distinct "sides" to him that can be identified. However, his natural state is far more goofy than we give him credit for, so he will likely be the first to crack jokes, laugh at dumb things, or general want to lighten the mood. He doesnt like things to be gloomy and may actively resist that kind of conversation or situation.
4. Leon calling Ushijima a "super volleyball idiot" says way more about his behaviour off the court than anything Ushijima ever did. Oikawa and Kageyama and Hinata and Atsumu get to be monsters but no, Leon says its the term "we" are most "satisfied with". Did they pitch other names? They do not take Ushijima seriously at all. So his terrifying persona is probably very superficial. None of the team has ever had an actually bad experience with him, and he is very consistent in his likes and desires: probably doesnt have a (conversationally) confrontational bone in his body. "We could call him a monster but nah, he's too fucking weird for that." Like what more of a character study do you need!! Leon STOP.
This is dragging on longer than I want it to. I apologize. I could have more to say on the matter but to sum it up quick:
People, humans, are multifaceted, but ultimately are most defined by how they are remembered, and how they choose to present themselves to the world. This is will affect that "voice" that you're worried about sounding the same. Ultimately, all your characters will be the same. Everyone is insecure, everyone wants to be seen as attractive, everyone things theyre not good enough, everyone worries their lover will grow tired of them, everyone thinks they are the only person to have ever felt that way. The change, that voice, is how they want everyone else to look at them.
Using the previous notes, we can answer the question: "Oh my god, You look really good today!!" 4 ways. Internally, they're all very happy to receive a compliment because they wore a new shirt and they weren't sure it looked good. Externally...
Daichi: "Oh. Thank you."
Suga: "Ohh, Thank you! That's so sweet of you to say."
Oikawa: "I look really good today? Did I not yesterday? Ah, just messing with you - I know I looked good yesterday."
Ushijima: "I do? Good."
LAST TANGENT:
if you are NATIVE ENGLISH and youre writing fanfiction for NON-ENGLISH SHOW. IDC if youre a subtitles purist, WATCH IT IN ENGLISH. being able to (in your native language) use the characters voice in your head to read dialogue makes a world of difference. I DONT CARE if you can head Sugas Japanese VA perfectly - UNLESS YOU SPEAK JAPANESE IT WONT HELP.
Whenever I'm struggling with writing Sugawara, or a l think he's OOC, I just mentally replay the soundbite from the dub of him going "Good Grief!" like a goddamn oeanuts character and then its like "oh yeah. he's back. i know how to write him now."
I have a few of these little soundbite grounding things for some of them. Its REALLY helpful to be able hear the characters voices saying the lines (sorry if youre deaf..) and if you CANT (and you normally can) then maybe the dialogue is ooc.
WAIT ONE MORE TANGENT:
"King, you've only talked about dialogue??? what about-" Dialogue controls actions!!! if you can get a characters conversational tone and linguistic habits down, you'll have NO ISSUES keeping their physical habits in check.
thus concludes another advice corner. i am working on the other questions atm but i have limited time and cannot do more than 1 after work without my brain melting so :)
thanks for reading :) happy writing
xx
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worldunbent · 7 months ago
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a difference between the experience of reading the natsuyuu manga and watching the anime which is only interesting to me is that there's no distinction between special chapters and regular ones in the anime. the reason i find that interesting is that the specials are, so far in my reread, the only chapters that spend any time completely outside of natsume's POV. when we see other characters' perspectives in regular chapters, it's typically part of an extended monologue or a memory being transmitted to natsume, so we're still not really leaving his perspective. the only times we leave his POV are when he's physically not present in a scene, and in those instances we usually don't get any narration or interior monologue from the other characters.
tanuma in "a suspicious visitor" is the only exception i can think of off the top of my head, though i'm sure there are others i'll get to and just don't remember at the moment. the scene between matoba and ban at the end of the homura arc, for example, is outside of natsume's POV by necessity but is pure dialogue with no interior narration because these are not characters to whom we have that kind of access! (for more on matoba's elusive subjectivity see sp15, says tumblr user worldunbent.)
the special chapters jump all over the place; so far i've gotten to chapters from the perspectives of little fox, an unnamed youkai, nyanko, tanuma, and hinoe (although hinoe's chapter is framed as a story she's telling natsume, so it could have fit in a regular chapter). they have a separate numbering system from the regular chapters, are much shorter, and almost always come at the end of volumes*. in the anime, however, there's absolutely nothing to distinguish the episodes adapting the specials from the ones adapting regular chapters other than the POV shifts, which gives anime-only viewers a very different impression of how the series approaches character interiority. i don't think there's anything wrong with this as an adaptation move and it's pretty much necessary, but it's just notable because in a series that's all about how people see the world differently, the choice to make such a distinction between chapters in the protagonist's POV and chapters from everyone else's POV is a significant one.
the reason i'm paying so much attention to POVs in this reread in the first place is because i've been listening to the podcast media club plus and jack, who is pretty new to anime, keeps pointing out the constant perspective shifts in hunter x hunter and the other hosts are like, "yeah, that's normal." this post from another listener expands on how and why it works as a genre norm in shonen battle anime/manga specifically. so now i'm just cursed to be hyperaware of POV shifts in anime/manga, and given that the three series i'm reading/watching at the moment are hxh, dungeon meshi, and natsuyuu, natsuyuu really stands out in how rarely it leaves natsume's head in the regular chapters. i guess i need to go read some more shoujo for a larger sample size lol
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*i have a chapter spreadsheet 🤓 and the exceptions to this are sp18, which is just stuck in the middle of v22, sp20, which is the second-to-last chapter of v24, and sp21, which is the first chapter of v25. i understand the placement of sp20, which is "intermission detectives" and makes sense to have as an break between regular chapters, but i'll have to figure out what sp18&21 are doing when i get to them.
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painsandconfusion · 1 year ago
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Hi! If this counts as writing advice, I was wondering, how do you avoid romanticizing violence and abuse in writing? Like, at its core, what’s even the difference between “enjoying whump” and “romanticizing abuse”, and how do you make that distinction clear within a story? I hope this doesn’t come off as accusatory, I just don’t want to accidentally create something harmful ;-; Thank you!
I’m gonna answer this as a normal ask instead of a full writing advice thing cuz the answer is simple
Write form your characters pov. You can enjoy the content all you like without romanticizing it, but neither should directly come across in your writing if you write from a characters perspective.
If you’re writing from whumpers pov, you can romanticize it all you want and it’s all the more twisted and horrific that way. If whumper is talking about ‘coaxing out exquisite screams and delicious agonies’, that just makes them sound obsessy and fucked in a way that your reader can enjoy as whump. But. No one’s gonna blame you for condoning what your character does. At least they shouldn’t. That’s just good writing.
But. If you’re writing from whumpee’s pov, ‘exquisite screams and delicious agonies’ just doesn’t really fit, y’know? They’d say something more like ‘an unearthly screech clawed it’s way up their throat, snapping in half on its way out’. Making it visceral and wrong and bad helps solidify whumpees pov.
If you write from an ambivalent, omniscient perspective over the entire scene (or switch between the two ocs without warning or break), you’re going to run into the romanticization issue a *lot* more. Because at that point it’s speaking objectively about the characters. Then you’re going to have to apply any positive and negative adjectives directly to the characters thought process to separate them out. ‘Whumper loved listening to the pretty little sounds Whumpee made. Whumpee, however, couldn’t hear them - they were too focused on the darkness creeping into the edges of their crackling vision’. See how each adjectives connotations are directly applied to the character? It makes that separation easier.
Personal opinion that using anything besides the most basic descriptions during a scene -where no OC is taking over the perspective fully- is going to fun into the romanticization issue. Adjectives hav connotations. Connotations read as opinions. SO. If those adjectives/connotations/opinions aren't anchored to a character, they'll be attributed to the writer instead.
It's also my opinion that the content will be less engaging for the reader if you write from an ambivalent, omniscient perspective. It’s harder for the reader to step into the characters shoes and fully get fit punched by those whumperflies if they can’t see through the characters eyes and feel what they’re feeling.
tl;dr Romanticizing whump is an issue of the authors speech, not the characters. So he sure to write from the characters pov and you’re good to go.
Hope that helps!!
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thetypedwriter · 11 months ago
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Dark Heir Book Review
Dark Heir by C.S. Pacat Book Review 
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Warning: *Spoiler Warning for both Dark Rise and Dark Heir*
Dark Heir by C.S. Pacat has been my most anticipated read. Not of the year, not of the month, just in general. More than any other sequel coming out, I could not wait for Dark Heir.
In preparation, I even reread Dark Rise to ensure that I had a full and complete understanding of every sentence and nuance put forth in Dark Heir. 
I was so incredibly excited for this book, especially as I found Dark Heir to be titillating and maybe the last book I read that truly took me by surprise and made me gasp out loud. 
I wouldn’t say I’m disappointed, because I think Dark Heir is good, but I also don’t think it’s perfect and having the astronomical expectations that I did have certainly didn’t help. 
Dark Heir picks up immediately after Dark Rise ends. Similarly to the first book, the gang is trying to stop the dark king from reaching his full power and face off against Sinclair, Simon’s father, in various moments with an array of tension and methodologies, all interwoven with intrapersonal moments of romance, friendship, and self-actualization. 
The biggest weakness of the first book was its middle. The beginning of Dark Rise starts off intriguing, with Will on the loose and an action-packed fight scene onboard a ship.
The ending of Dark Rise hits you like a bomb. The realization that Will is actually the dark king will never not be one of the greatest plot twists of all time. 
Other than the middle slog, though, Dark Rise was excellent. 
My biggest frustrations with Dark Heir are the treatment of the villain and the multiple POV’s. In Dark Rise, Simon is the big baddie. He’s calculating, manipulative, powerful, and charismatic. In Dark Heir, however, C.S. Pacat tells you that you’ve got it all wrong. 
It’s not Simon that is characterized by all those traits, but his father, Sinclair. All the attributes given to Simon in the first book are essentially just handed over to Sinclair with the attitude of making you feel stupid for thinking Simon was the villain in the first place…even though that’s what we were told in book one and Sinclair hadn’t even been mentioned previously. 
I find it frustrating when authors diminish an antagonist from one book to make another villain seem worse and more powerful later on.
Let Simon and Sinclair stand on their own, separate and distinct. Don’t minimize what happened in book one so that Sinclair seems more evil and important in the sequel. 
It didn’t work for me, and the fact that we don’t even see Sinclair is also a poor choice. For the villain to never even show up (other than possessing others) reduces his threatening presence overall and the tension I get as a reader decreases every time another page passes without Sinclair ever showing his face (it worked in Harry Potter only because another villain was there to fill the void). 
My second frustration is the amount of POV’s. In the first book, there were three POV’s: Will, Violet, and Katherine. In book two, we get Will, Violet, Cyprian, Elizabeth, James, and Visander.
It’s too many. Three is already pushing it and by increasing it from three to six, the overall arc for each character gets less spotlight and therefore less development. 
That being said, I like all the characters and loved seeing their POV’s. However, because there were just so many of them, I felt like it was quantity over quality.
Whereas I would have preferred the quality of less POV’s than the breadth of more, especially as several of them were with each other, as in the case of James, Will, and Cyprian and then Visander and Elizabeth. 
Will’s agony of being the dark king and trying to fight against himself, meanwhile seeking understanding and acceptance, is nothing short of brilliant. Will’s chapters were by far my favorite because they were so conflicted, in the most interesting of ways.
After Will, my favorite POV is Elizabeth’s. Her childlike way of speaking and understanding the disturbing world around her was always intriguing and poignant (and often hilarious). I liked that her POV offered a different view of what was going on compared to Will and his gang. However, her POV makes Visander’s obsolete. 
Violet’s POV could have been good, but she is imprisoned the whole time. I actually think the only reason is C.S. Pacat did that was because having Violet around the gang would have influenced the plot too much, so she just needed Violet locked away—cue Mrs. Duval with her controlling powers (which was never explained???). 
Violet’s chapters were boring, which is a shame because I really adore Violet. I would have loved to have seen the tension in Will’s chapters by having Violet close by the whole book and to see her relationship with Cyprian blossom and grow.
But no. Instead she’s locked up for 90% of the book before escaping just in time for the climax, interacting with virtually no one except some old journals. 
Cyprian’s POV was fine, but useless, as he was with Will 90% of the time. 
James’ POV was interesting, but not needed. I actually think a part of James’ allure is his mystery. What is he planning? How is feeling? What are his intentions?
A big part of my initial curiosity about James stemmed from those questions. In Dark Heir all that disappears. Because we get James’ POV, gone is the mystery about what James is planning, his true motivations, and his feelings. 
Honestly, if the whole book had switched off between Will and Elizabeth that would have been perfect. If three was absolutely needed, then I would take Violet too, but otherwise? All the other POV’s were not needed and only took away from other storylines. 
I feel so strongly about this because I really like all the characters. I find them all complex, intriguing, highly motivated, and conflicted for a variety of reasons.
C.S. Pacat did such a great job creating them that I want to see their storylines through. What I don’t want are filler POV’s that don’t offer much in the way of plot. 
The last niggling frustration I’ll briefly mention before getting to the ending is the setting. In book one, we get huge (maybe too long) descriptions of the Hall of the Stewards and of London.
In book two, we get none of that. We get descriptions of the dark palace and some small villages in Italy and that's about it. For a huge epic fantasy, the world felt very small and very unimaginative. 
The highlights for the book were definitely the characters and their interactions. Those proved to be just as good as the first book, if not better.
The relationship between Will and James, between Will and Violet, Violet and Cyprian, Cyprian and James, Violet and Tom, Visander and Elizabeth—they are all chef’s kiss! 
Truly, each and every character has such intense and significant ties to all the other characters that it kept me devouring each page like a starved man. This is where C.S. Pacat really shines. 
The last thing I’ll mention to bring this review to a close is the ending. Did it have the bombshell explosive conclusion like Dark Rise?
No, no it did not. 
Was it still good?
Yes…for the most part. The culmination of all the characters meeting underneath the mountain in the dark palace was great. However, I wanted more. 
There were several moments where a huge revelation or climactic fight was about to happen when the castle just happened to shake, or an earthquake appeared, or chunks of rock fell from the ceiling.
It felt cheap and frustrating to get cut off from an important moment, especially as this happened not once, but several times near the end. 
Additionally, the twist of James wearing the collar in the final pages would have been so much more powerful and shocking if we hadn’t literally read in the chapter before that the collar clicked around his throat by Sloane/Sinclair. 
 It doesn’t make any sense. 
Why give away your biggest shock factor? I have no idea.
Even after writing this, I realize that James’ POV might have actively been a detriment to the book overall, but especially to the ending, which was nowhere near as crazy a plot twist as Dark Rise. 
In general, I still liked this book. I would consider it leagues better than other YA novels, especially in terms of characters and their relationships, but it’s not without its issues, even compared to its predecessor. 
Frustrations aside, I enjoyed Dark Heir. The plot was palatable enough—there’s a dark army slumbering beneath a mountain in a hidden away palace that cannot be woken up, but it’s the characters, their interactions, and their desires that I found truly appealing. 
Recommendation: Reread Dark Rise like I did to fully appreciate the brilliance of it, and then read Dark Heir. It won’t be as good, but that’s okay. You’ll still get the character moments you’ve been craving before it’ll leave you wanting more.
Let’s hope that the next book will fulfill any lingering needs we have and (dark) rise to the challenge. 
Score: 7/10
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beerecordings · 11 months ago
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okay so. I want to dissect the existence of IRIS in Marvin's universe real quick. it's very distinct, first of all, that IRIS as we know it exists there. Marvin finds the familiar symbol right away at the murder scene.
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we've got this guy, Noah, that the twins perform necromancy on to find out what he knows. Noah tells them, and shows us, a black figure that I am presuming to be Anti, especially since he is described with a lot of laughter and shares his general shape. Higgins later calls him "the man who's not really there."
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Noah talks about the IRIS facility seen above being taken over, leading to multiple deaths, including his own. what's interesting here is that this could possibly be the events of Anomaly Found, where Anti raids the IRIS facility, kills everyone, and corners Chase. however, there's this other frame...
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where we can see that something has broken out of its containment (SCP Anti I see you). now this could still be the events of Anomaly Found, but if so, that would mean Anti was at one point in containment in the same IRIS facility as Chase. I also think it's likely that all of the egos are from separate universes. so maybe instead of this being Anomaly Found, it's a parallel occurrence wherein Anti once again (or previously) laid waste to an IRIS facility. this would mean a couple things:
Anti really hates IRIS
he hates them because they may have contained him at one point
there are ways to contain Anti, but not good ones, apparently
he may be attacking them - or tracking down egos like Chase - across multiple universes
IRIS may also be a universal constant in these stories, and Marvin will investigate their activities in another universe
on the other hand, if this is Anomaly Found through Noah's POV, then:
Marvin and Chase are in the same universe
Chase was transported all the way to London from Cali!
Anti broke out of containment specifically to get to Chase
Anti may have been Echo
Chase is nowhere to be found at the crime scene of the IRIS facility. does Anti have him now?
what are your thoughts?
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animazi · 5 months ago
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whoa look at me talking about the acolyte wow... I dislike commenting on currently airing shows largely because there is so much that is still a mystery ooh what could happen next, and this is very true for the murder mystery only the victims aren't who you think show.
this is an upsettingly long post ostensibly about how I think there will be a mae pov flashback, and really about how I think osha's flashback that we have now is not the full story, which is fairly obvious, but I've put way to much thought into getting together what passes for textual evidence for it. read at own peril contains much yapping about e3.
anyway. episode three. time to comment on the currently airing show. beautiful stunning cinematography - different director Kogonada, and yeah. wow. very pretty. a lot more obvious Symbolism shots, which I am a sucker for icl, and in general some very beautiful stuff this is, and I will go to bat for this theory (please please please be right c'mon leslye do this for me) half of the flashbacks, and it is all from osha's point of view. right ok. so. entertain me here. some people on twt have noted how there are some shots in flashback scenes in the trailer that we haven't seen yet, and this + torbin's scar and the one word title (all other episodes have been two words, with each clearly corresponding to mae or osha) + the fact that this episode is so visually distinct and Kogonada is directing e7 too + what I am about to talk about wrt mae and osha all leads me to think 'yeah, this is half of the flashback', and the other half is probably going to be the bit people get antsy about yay.
now! the mae and osha stuff - I think that Destiny (that's the name of this episode btw. I have so many thoughts about the jedi and agency as ever. that is a separate yap though) is going to be the less controversial of the two largely because, bear with me just lining up this wasps nest in my aim, it is 'pro-jedi' so to speak. the jedi are good, not bad. osha restates time and time again her desire to not be a witch, to explore the world, and the jedi are her way of doing this. sol is kind and saves her, and the jedi are nice, if strict. they stop her from having to do the ascension, a ceremony she really didn't want to do, and they saved her. now. for the disclaimer. I don't think the jedi are evil and bad, I think they are flawed as an institution, and that is the angle I am fairly certain the acolyte is going for - they care more about the legality of the situation rather than the 'moral good' of the situation they are in aka mae really does not want to leave, even if osha does - it would surely cause far more harm to take them both as the jedi pretty clearly intend to do. that in mind. I also think everyone is sleeping on how incredibly fun and biased these two (more on this later) flashback episodes will be. hands up if you've seen the last duel, anyone, anyone? well the last duel is a film about uh. the violent sexual assault of a woman in medieval france. and it is framed through three different accounts of the events as told by our three leads: jean (the husband), jacques (the rapist), and marguerite (the victim). marguerite's account is presented by the film as the actually accurate one, it is The Truth, but it is also the last version we see, so for the first two thirds of the film we have watched two clashing narratives, with no clear indication of who is right. the story of the acolyte is one inspired by leslye headland's relationship with her sister (linky link) a relationship where both sisters believe fully that they are in the right - if osha's account is 100% the truth, this really doesn't seem to track and the show looses most of its emotional depth, and while yes, sure, external material doesn't mean that the show will unfold this way, I am willing to bet (please please please please please) that it will. now. onto the actual content of this episode that I think supports my theory - aka osha's (clear) bias.
I am going to start with what I think is the strongest point, and work from there. so. basics. please remember that osha has spent the last 14 years of her life knowing that mae set the fire that killed her parents, the same fire that traumatised osha to the point that she was unable to continue her jedi training and had to take an illegal and dangerous mechanic job, and yet she still clearly loves her sister - I would guess from this information presented in e1&2 that mae and osha had a close bond before, and yet the flashback shows almost the opposite. osha chafes at mae's constant proximity, at the 'born as two but always one' line, they are near constantly fighting, mae seems like an out and out psychopath, freezing a space hummingbird and deliberately setting the fire in an attempt to kill osha (in funny news. the fortress had so many osha violations no wonder she wanted to leave hahaha I am a comedic genius). why does osha miss the shot then, in light of this? well, the thesis of this theory post is that osha is not remembering in full 4k HD honesty - again, she has spent most of her life certain that mae essentially killed her parents and indirectly ruined her dreams of being a jedi, and this lack of clarity about the truth comes through in how she acts towards mae. now. my evidence for this? largely vibes based, and could just be poor writing, but what is star wars (prequels edition esp) if not reading heavily into interesting writing :D largely here my hmmm moments all stemmed from how conflictingly Destiny (the episode) presents mae. she is at once a known freezer of space hummingbirds (but osha doing the exact same just for less time is fine?) and setter of fires while vowing to kill osha to prevent her from leaving, and also osha's clearly loved sister - yes they fight, but again, osha misses the shot that would have brought mae into jedi custody (custody that she fairly explicitly trusts). now, my hypothesis here is that osha looking back on these events as coloured by her knowledge of what mae will do unconsciously is framing mae as more in the wrong, inherently bad etc to make sense of mae's actions. now, additionally supporting evidence I will present to the review group is how vehemently osha (who is saved by and goes on to become a padawan to a jedi) supports the jedi, in a way that seems to have been, to me at least, argued before with mae. the girl has been drawing the jedi logo in her notebook, her love of the jedi is pretty apparent in this episode. and yet the witches pretty clearly fear the jedi and what they bring with them. they disagree with the jedi perception of the force - and this disagreement is not framed as wrong by the narrative thus far, the republic and jedi quite literally have banned them from ensuring the longevity of their coven - so why is osha so firmly convinced that the jedi are good? :warning: violent and unconfirmed theory :warning: through the lens of osha being biased as someone who was saved by the jedi, and clearly wanted more than life in the fortress, osha reframes her 'siding' with the jedi in childhood as a more 'moral' stance; the jedi and good, and mae, who burnt down her life, is bad; a conflict between (understandably) overprotective parents + a clingy sister and osha who wants to be her own person with her own identity (oh look a Theme) gets morphed into a conflict between the jedi (an identity osha later takes on, and still clearly largely adheres too, insert textpost about how despite leaving osha is still bound by core jedi principles e.g. compassion) and the witches (an identity osha never feels connected to and actively tries to leave behind).
I will also say I think you can see all of this in the title of the episode, Destiny. why is this the title? certainly its a break from e1&2 'lost/found' and 'revenge/justice', where they are descriptors of what osha and mae are (either literally as in being found or enacting). destiny does not fit this mould, and I think is a rather interesting framing of all this. it is osha's destiny to become a jedi, but for that to happen, mae seemingly must get cast as the villain, without any room for doubt or her side of the story. also, there is the fact that agency is such a big part of this episode (aww its my reoccurring favourite star wars theme). osha's lack of individuality/separation from mae, the way she feels unable to refuse the ceremony she clearly doesn't want to. the jedi (really just sol. I have so many thoughts about sol) offer osha the choice that she wants, and yet the 'sanctity' of that choice is taken away from her in the violent death of the coven and the burning down of the fortress. sol says if you wish you will train as my padawan, but she can never return to the ruins of the fortress, she must go to coruscant. logically and emotionally yes I understand this, but the show has made a point about how the jedi order does not really give you transferable skills - is the same not true in the other direction? osha has no family now, functionally nowhere to go that isn't the jedi order. the question is will you be my padawan, not will you be a padawan. destiny (or at least the actions of others) has made it so that the agency she just received has been dashed on the rocks. and to refocus on the actual topic of this post, that theft of autonomy was pretty directly down to mae, and so how else to process that other than casting mae as a villain.
now, in the show about troubled sororal relations (I restate my earlier link) there naturally has to be another side to the uh. sororal relations than just osha's. also I bet its going to be called 'choice' or some shit to mirror Destiny and the other episode titles and highlight the differences in worldviews of osha and mae, jedi and witch
this is all, of course, to go without even saying the unclear reasons for why mae set the fire. was she just evil and possessive, or (as the server posited) being controlled or mind tricked or startled or even was there some palpatine level manipulation going on by the master. questions that a mae specific flashback would answer.
anyway. good show I like it when the star wars makes me think about stuff even when it is 2am and I should be sleeping. watch literally none of this be true
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peccatulum-b-gone · 6 months ago
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Introduction
After a few run-ins with the Seven Association, I have decided to follow suit with the social media presence as an additional form of advertisement of my services as a fixer. Word of mouth can only carry so far.
Though unaffiliated at the moment, I am capable of carrying out a variety of requests at a reduced cost (-25%) compared to fixers of the same rank. However, should the total cost be lower than the travel fees required to carry out the job, the cost reduction does not apply.
Though I specialize in extermination of non-human threats, other kinds of requests will be accepted as long as they are in compliance with the laws of the City. To submit a request refer to the "Make a request" form located on this blog.
~SnakeHead~
THE AO3 ACCOUNT peccatulum_b_gone IS NOW ACTIVE
//I would have used Snakehead, but variations on that were taken so I went with the second best thing for the name of the account
//The stories will be Snakehead/Fantabulous Five POVs, but will still feature the characters of other blogs´ characters in this roleplay, due to the collaborative real-time story-crafting and interactive nature of the roleplay. I don´t intend to encroach on other blogs´ narratives, I just want to make it easier for new people to get at least a general grip on the story without reading through all of the rp blogs (of which there are quite a few now). If any of the bloggers take issue with this plan, please let me know through DMs so we can resolve this without any unnecessary drama.
//UPDATE(22th August 2024) - tagging system (bellow cut)
//OOC: This is a roleplay blog for an original character within PMverse. If "//" is present in the tags, it is the blog mod speaking out of character. Strictly in-universe roleplay, no crossovers. Anyway, I hope everyone has a fun time :)
tagging system:
I finally got around to properly set tags in place after making decision on how to tag what.
Snakehead's lore - lorebuilding for Snakehead. Some details may be bit more hidden/obscure. Involves things that pertain to backstory of the OC.
Snakehead's notes - slice of life stories and shenanigans that don't have a uhge impact on the overall plot
Snakehead's reports - cases that Snakehead is involved in but aren't "paid cases" in the story lore
Snakehead's requests - explicit request cases
Snakehead's canon - any story bits that aren´t canon posts to Snakehead´s blog, but are canon to the story arc. Main difference being that only characters involved in the scene are aware of what was being communicated unless they shared the information otherwise.
Fantabulous Five - new tag, in regards to the five kids. Older posts concerning the kids lack this tag, instead being tagged with Snakehead's notes.
Note that Snakehead's cases and Snakehead's reports are somewhat blurry area so the description isn't 100% accurate. In some cases it was hard to decide which tag to use.
case-specific tags(chronological order from oldest to newest):
The K Corp Adventure
Chicken Wing Detour
En Pointe Request
Tenth Scholar
Eisen und Blut (not a "case", but chronologically it makes most sense here)
Peccatulum Sweep (as addendum in Eisen und Blut report)
Doublicates ("self-request")
The Growling Shadow
Rampaging Horseman (NEW)
misc tags (related tags separated by a comma):
- these tags may repeat in the future
Snakehead's warnings
Snakehead's artistic endeavours
Snakehead's wallet
crow acquisition, Geryon the crow
shi colleague, delivery for Seiko
bug fixer friend
Differing characters' colors :
bold + black - Onyx
green - Beryl
blue - Agate
orange - Feldspar
red - Jasper
no color distinction* - Snakehead
*a few older posts don't have the color specifics
Anyway, that's all for now, keep your blades and minds sharp, friends.
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desultory-novice · 2 years ago
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can you enlighten me on why people pair up marx and gryll so much? is there actually a reason for it or is it just a random fandom thing that stuck
So, side-stepping the issue of shipping for a moment, there's a lot of good reason to put Marx and Gryll together as characters...
They're both "magicians" (I've mentioned this before but Magolor and Taranza are explicitly "wizards" 魔術師 where as Marx and Gryll are "magicians" 魔法使い. It's hard to define the difference, as there's no set one definition, but most people consider the methodology of magic to be key in what separates a wizard from a magician.
What we can assume based on character animations is that wizards are more structured. Their spells seem more crafted. You can see Magolor and Taranza concentrating/focusing to perform spells. It's an effort for them. Whereas magicians seem to perform magic in a more natural fashion, almost without thought. Marx's attacks all happen as a matter of fact. He just does them. We've seen very little of Gryll, but flying through space without a care in the world looks like second nature to them. Interesting when even Kirby was starting to lose consciousness when left in the void of deep space!!)
Marx and Gryll are also both members of the funny hat club! They arrived on the Kirby series scene within about two years of each other; they both enjoy a dramatic entrance; Gryll is, at this point, either canonically non-binary or canonically without a gender (but given the fact that modern Kirby is finally okay with declaring characters non-binary, I think we can safely say Gryll would use they/them pronouns if their game was to ever get an official release and, just by looking at people's gijinka, Marx is maybe also not the most gender-conforming character ever. XD)
The biggest evidence in favor of them knowing each other is that they open up with the exact same "Hey, hey, hey!" in their respective games. That's distinctive enough that you almost KNOW they must know each other.
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As for shipping them... Well... it's valid? Like most of Marx's implied relationships, canon gives us NOTHING so there is no real reason not to ship them...? Similar to how a lot of Marx and Magolor ships happen post-Milky Way Wishes, I see a lot of Marx and Gryll ships/shipping content happening pre-Milky Way Wishes. Marx and Gryll learning magic together, or knowing each other since they were younger and watching as the other changes (in this case, Marx getting more and more obsessed with his wish) as they grow up.
Dynamics-wise, there's something tempting about shipping Marx with someone who possibly knew him at his most fragile and innocent - when he was still "good" - and is still capable of seeing him that way. (And I did see one short MaruGuri piece that got me good - where Marx was in the process of growing his wings out/transforming between his two "states" and was having a rough time of it but Gryll was there to comfort him through the process.) Gryll is also someone that Marx, from his POV, doesn't have any reasons to be antagonistic with.
Despite that, I don't really ship them because 1) I just ended up liking them as having a familial/found-family relationship more - Marx doesn't have any close (...on-screen...) bonds with anyone outside of Kirby and so giving them Gryll (in a non-romantic way) helps flesh out Marx's character and give him someone to confide in and someone who can give him a good talking to when he gets out of hand and 2) they kind of neutralize each other?
It's the same reason I don't ship Magoranza, even though I think it's a fine pairing! They've got similar-ish (?) backstories and hobbies and interests, and I'm sure they'd make great, even close friends, but they don't have anything that, to me, gives them that strong spark.
Between he and Gryll, Marx is, obviously, the more troubled one. Also the more bombastic one. (Although Gryll has plenty of pep. Also just lots of big sibling energy. ...What ARE Salt, Sugar, and Pepper, by the way? Gryll's kid siblings? Gryll's familiars? ...Gryll's KIDS?!)
It just feels like, though they have a lot in common (loving a good fight/challenge) the generally good-natured Gryll would just be overwhelmed by Marx's force of personality? Again, same with MagoRanza. Nothing against the pairing but w/ my takes on the characters, I feel like Taranza would be lost in Magolor's depths.
I also worry that in a MaruGuri pairing, Gryll would spend more time wrangling Marx away from his more dangerous habits and it would eventually feel confining to Marx? Whereas that's a dynamic that feels pretty natural with two sibling-esque characters.
With two agents of chaos like Marx and Magolor, there's a fear they'll encourage each other to TRULY dangerous stunts (and if you believe Marx baited Magolor into the Master Crown, then they absolutely do) but at the same time, they're probably best suited to knowing their own limits? At the very least, there shouldn't be a power imbalance there, emotional or magical.
Of the four magic-users, only Magolor is a fully realized character. Taranza comes in second but still has a TON of gaps. Marx is mostly made of HC at this point, and Gryll is nearly 100% that.
So you can really see them as any way you want! And if you like coupling the magic-users, MaruGuri is a more natural way to "pair the spares" than trying to put Taranza and Gryll together. Or MagoGryll. Or MaruRanza for that matter! (Or you could skip the headache and just polycule them??)
EDIT: I FORGOT that Marx Soul also has pointed toe shoes that are a lot like Gryll's! Really weird connection, but there you go!
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dreaming-marchling · 6 months ago
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With all the POVs in all the fandoms you’ve done including the latest in marked in faith which character has been the hardest to write for or get in their mind? Conversely what character has been the easiest to slide into.
Also, how do you maintain those character separations and characterization so well in the stories especially when there’s a large cast like sometimes in the market in trust series?
When I DM in DnD I have a very hard time keeping NPCs apart before they blend in as a mesh of one character archetype.
This is such a fun question! I live for nitty-gritty writing stuff like this :)
I suppose the characters who are hardest are the ones I've avoided , for instance I'm writing a Malec story where Izzy gets her (I believe) first POV from me and I'm having a hard time finding her voice. The plot means she’s in a tense leadership position so the seriousness is I think conflicting with how I might normally have written her and striking that kind of tone with a character I don't write as much is a challenge. I don't think it would bother me as much if I was more used to her. Jesse in MiT is now the last of the team who doesn't have his own MiF story and though I would love to write for him and do intend to he's got a brain that works very quickly and randomly and I want to do it justice. In terms of who I find hard from characters I have actually posted, I have to be in the right mood for Letty. We're very different, lol. Easiest are Brian and Magnus for sure. They're closest to my own voice and I've written a lot for them so I'm used to them.
On the rest, I'll put under a cut so no one hates me
Re: How I differentiate characters - Firstly, thank you for saying that I differentiate characters well, that's a huge concern of mine so I'm really thrilled you feel that way!
Here are some key ways I like to make their voices distinct (according to how I view the characters, of course, opinions on the below can certainly vary):
Word Choice - It's a very quick way to differentiate characters even in a scene where they're all united and sharing the same sentiment
For instance, Magnus uses often more ornate words than Alec does. Or Letty swears when Mia rarely does. Would the character say that someone was heartbroken or upset or pissed? Letty might say upset or pissed but for me, she’s less likely to use heartbroken. Mia would be much more likely to use heartbroken or upset and sometimes she would used pissed but it wouldn’t be the first word she would reach for unless she was very upset herself. Magnus would use all three but he would absolutely use heartbroken very freely and I would often pair it with a word that would sound ridiculous if Jace said it like “terribly heartbroken” or something. Is Jace saying someone is terribly heartbroken? Probably not, lol, in my opinion. But Magnus totally would.
Sentence Phrasing
For MiT it can often be a little more challenging because they're all roughly the same age. Word choice is still important but I think phrasing is ultimately more key when you don’t have characters who are wildly different like Alec and Magnus. Dom, for instance, doesn't *like* talking so much but he does it for Brian. I often have him drop filler words to kind of give that impression so the way he makes a sentence is more bare bones than the other characters. Vince and Letty speak more similarly but Vince is less casually explosive than Letty so he's not exclaiming things as much. Mia and Leon are similar because they're both much more calm people who speak both gently but also pretty matter of fact to Brian but Mia has a more optimistic tone whereas Leon's is more neutral. Mia often has an undercurrent of concern but Leon tends to be more chill. Is the character supposed to be laugh out loud funny? I put way more effort into giving Brian his weird little one-liners but I don't do much of that for Mia or Alec.
I think re: your character archetype challenge, maybe adding in another qualifier or two could help differentiate tones? I think you could probably cite Foggy, Letty and Brian as sarcastic characters but Foggy is a sarcastic worrier with mothering tendencies, Letty is a sarcastic badass who doesn’t like to be soft, Brian is a sarcastic brat who has a hard time interacting with people. You can further break them down as well with Foggy’s very smooth and intelligent sarcasm that maybe tends more towards wit, Letty’s very blunt sarcasm and Brian’s very defensive sarcasm. Foggy is often wanting to be funny, Letty is aiming not for funny but for cool and Brian is often unaware. What is the character’s background? Do they lend towards highbrow humor or lowbrow humor? Is the sarcasm meant to attack or make them seem lovable?
I hope any of that helps! I feel compelled to apologize for making you read so much, lol, I just love shit like this. Thank you for asking!
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bonesandthebees · 6 months ago
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New rose chapter!!!!! Oh my gosh!!! I can’t express how excited I was to see that! I had just finished rereading glass yesterday and remembered how you told me I could subscribe to your ao3 to get notified— I very much did not expect to get an email notification the day after I subscribed (especially since it’s the first time I subscribe to an author and I wasn’t sure what the supposed notification email would look like)
I loved it a lot though, I’m so excited to be reading as the chapters come out for the first time even though I’m not used to not being able to read everything at once. I reread your big fics so so often that with your writing atp I’m used to doing my best to forget as many details and scenes so I can reread them time and time again and enjoy them a million times over but I always already know the direction it’s going in and what will be revealed and what the ending will be. But with this it’s the first time in a while again that I get to enjoy one of your big fics and I really don’t know anything about what’s going to happen, let alone the fact everyone else reading as well also doesn’t know what’s going to happen. It’s super fun and I’ve really been enjoying it so far!
I am always in awe as to how distinct you make each of your characters in every fic while still keeping the core of them consistently feel like *them*. It’s amazing to me seeing just how powerful the dynamics are that they are rewritten in so many different ways yet it’s still them, and I’ll always be impressed with how you manage to make each of them unique to each fic. I remember a whiiile ago when I was first reading your other long fics apart from clinic a friend asked me if I was doing it to pretend I was reading more of the characters in clinic and I was so surprised because it never even crossed my mind due to how vastly unique and separate they are from eachother. Like yeah, I’m still reading crimeboys— but even within world forgetting and clinic where they’re the same genre of au (and on top of that, both from Tommy’s pov) they’re so different and I’ll never get tired of it.
Anyways, I feel bad for how much I’ve rambled on now so I’ll end this here— in conclusion: love your writing and it was a great treat to get to read a new rose chapter :) !! Hope you have an incredible time next month :D
XIMA!!! omg that's so perfect I updated the day after you subbed to me. well now you know what the email looks like! you'll get one of those anytime I post anything to my ao3 now :)
I'm so glad you're enjoying reading along this time around!! though of course it makes me so happy to hear you reread my other big fics all the time and still enjoy them. I do also think there's something fun about reading along as an author posts. it's kind of like following a weekly tv show except instead of getting a new chapter every week right now my schedule is looking more like... once a month. oops. but it keeps you in suspense!
god that makes me so happy to hear. I always try very hard to make sure the characters feel distinct while still feeling like the same characters. I'm sure some bits feel repetitive after a while (like my routine for crimeboys bonding is pretty straightforward at this point I feel) but I try my best to make them as new and interesting as I can while still staying true to the core of the characters. like my different au characters all feel incredibly different from one another while still being the same characters in general. like I guess the closest two are stars!wilbur and rose!wilbur but even then they still have pretty distinct differences. but like clinic!wilbur is vastly different from like, most of my other fic!wilburs imo so while your friend is incredibly valid for wondering that it also makes zero sense to me lol
never feel bad for rambling in my inbox xima this made me so happy to see tysm. I'm so happy you're enjoying rose so far!!! and ty I'm very excited for my trip :D
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us3rnam3-r3dact3d · 1 year ago
Text
as long as you're with me (you'll be just fine) Chapter 2
Ao3 | 1.2K | Sam's POV
TW: fantasy racism, police violence
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Sam wondered with a sort of uninterested mirth, how he always ended up in these situations. He would consider it bad luck it didn’t seem to stick to him like gum to his shoes. It seemed almost too extensive at this point in his life, to all encompassing to be a string of misfortune. He had more misfortune than regular old life.
Sam was in a back alley behind a club, his cheek pressed against a rough, filthy brick wall. His skin healed as fast as it was scratched up by the too-rough movements of the Department Enforcer who was patting him down.
“You think it’s fun to fuck with unempowered drunk girls, huh, feeder?” The word slipped from his mouth so seamlessly. Sam tried to imagine how many times he said it in a day for it to sound so natural. Sam bit his tongue, his fangs slicing into the soft meat.
This kind of thing never happened to Vincent. Pretty Privilege, he thought, rolling his eyes.
“I wasn’t feeding on her.” Sam ground out into the brick. “She was unconscious on the ground and scratched up from her fall. I’m a healer.”
“Oh, so you’re breaching covert too?” The man at his back had the distinct aura of a fire elemental. Sam had met plenty of reasonable fire elementals in his time, but this one didn’t seem to be afraid of the stereotypes. Hot headed, overly aggressive, trigger happy.
“My God,” he couldn’t help the disrespect that bled into his tone. The enforcer responded in kind, pressing Sam that much harder into the wall. Sam knew better. Mouthing off and resisting only made it worse. He’d dealt with enough cops and enforcers in his time to know that. He let his muscles go slack, forced down any instinct that told him to resist, to fight back. “I’m not answering any more questions until my King is present.”
At the very least, the drunk girl, most likely a college student who got separated from her friends, was taken care of. The fire elemental’s partner, a demon of some sort, although Sam couldn’t place what type, had her sobered and her memory altered in a matter of minutes. Sam watched as she walked safely out of the alley dazed but in one piece. That’s all he had wanted in the first place.
David and Asher’s bachelor party wasn’t exactly his scene. He wanted to be there, of course, but he needed to step out every hour or so for a breather. It wasn’t a good look, of course, him being a vampire bent over an unconscious girl. It was just a shame that the enforcers hadn’t waited to see him help her up and offer to walk her home like he’d planned to.
Oh well. Most likely, they’d rough him up a bit and put him in holding. He’d get a call to William who would straighten all of this out. He’d be out before the wedding tomorrow night.
He had better fucking be, at least.
He closed his eyes, took in a few deep breathes as the enforcer tightened the dampening cuffs on his wrists, just a hair too tight. He just had to endure this. Twenty-four hours and he’d be done. He could put up with this for twenty-four hours.
“Sam!”
With an undignified grunt, the weight on his back was lifted, and a big, too-warm hand pressed between his shoulder blades, steadying him more than holding him in place. A snarl ripped through the air that made the hair on his neck stand on end. The animal instincts in him knew that there was a predator at his back, but he didn’t flinch away. He craned his neck to see David’s back, heaving against the confines of his leather jacket, flashing teeth to the enforcer.
Sam was delighted to see, as he turned, that said enforcer had been thrown on his ass, and was staring up at David with acute fear painting his features. His partner was at his side, holding their hands out, trying to deescalate.
“Sir, this vampire was attacking a drunk girl. We are pursuing an arrest for improper feeding and you are impeding a Department investigation.” They said coolly.
“First of all,” David ground out around the growls still forcing their way through his teeth, “Don’t call me sir. I’m the Alpha of the Shaw Pack. Speak to me with respect.”
Sam was able to turn around, but David’s hand moved to grip onto his shoulder, holding him firmly in place. He watched, from his place behind David, as the information registered on the demon’s face. That look of shock and horror that painted their features was almost enough to make this all better.
“Second,” David continued, “this vampire is a member of my pack and the Duke of the Solaire Clan. So think very carefully about your evidence before you accuse him of something like that.”
A beat of silence. Sam could hear the heartbeat of the fire elemental skyrocket. That brought a smile his face. The demon sighed and held out their hand to their partner, who, after a moment of resistance, placed the keys to his cuffs in their palm. They tossed them to David, who snatched them smoothly from the air. He turned and unlocked the cuffs on Sam.
“David-” He started.
“Shut up,” David snapped, frustration pinched between his brows. “Rotate your wrists. Check your circulation.” Sam did as he was told, not bothering to mention that he didn’t, strictly speaking, have circulation.
David turned back to the enforcers, throwing the cuffs and keys at their feet. The fire elemental scrambled to his feet, and Sam could feel the temperature in the alley rising. David squared his shoulders.
“You,” he pointed to the demon, “will be hearing from me. I’m expecting a full report on your partner’s abuse of power and your negligence, as well as a formal apology to myself, Mr. Collins, and William Solaire first thing in the morning.” Their face was twisted in discomfort, but they nodded. David turned to the fire elemental. “And you,” he growled. “I’ll have your badge. Get the fuck out of here.”
After only a moment of resistance, the demon managed to steer their partner towards the mouth of the alley and away from the fight he was sure to lose. The air began to cool again, and David’s breathing evened.
“I’m sor-”
He didn’t get all the way through that sentiment before David’s hands were on him. Sam was always so surprised by how tactile the wolves could be. David grabbed his wrists, watched as the bruises that had formed there faded into his skin. Both of his palms landed on Sam’s cheeks and turned his head either way, dark eyes searching for any sign of injury. Once he was satisfied, one of David’s hands slid to rest firmly on the nape of his neck, and David crushed their foreheads together with enough force to bruise.
His core lit up, sparking as the bond he didn’t even know was there made his threads sing. His chest filled up with something warm and whole. Alpha, his core sang, with the same magic it sang mate.
“Come on,” David said as he pulled away, “buy me a drink before I have to call your King.”
“Oh Lord,” Sam grinned, his head fuzzy with the remnants of the magic, “I have to hear that conversation.”
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