#with country its typically channeled a bit more into love songs but like. its the same deal when you compare someone you love to a museum

[coelacat]

i think the best news about finally kicking the can down the road far enough and embracing tbe fact that i kinda just . like country music. is that it coincides PERFECTLY with the current hyperfixation/new special interest (still unsure yet. it is hard not to think about that stupid tgirl all day every day though. who cares)

[cristalconnors]

TOP 20 SONGS OF 2020

20. “BELOW THE CLAVICLE”- EARTHEATER

“The meaning hasn’t come up yet. It’s still under the surface below the clavicle.”

It isn’t just Alexandra Drewchin’s ear splitting soprano when she hits that impossibly high B, practically shrieking out the “cle” syllable of clavicle, though that’s undoubtedly when I first knew that Eartheater’s avant folk was for me- it’s also the cinematic, lush strings, both bowed and plucked (is that acoustic guitar or harp? I genuinely can’t tell), deepening and complicating the sonic texture of Drewchin’s study of parsing through emotions you aren’t ready to make sense of yet. 

19. “PUSSY TALK”- CITY GIRLS, FT. DOJA CAT

“This pussy so ghetto, this pussy speak ebonics”

“WAP”’s funnier, classless Irish twin, though it’s important to note “Pussy Talk” came first. Yung Miami and JT enlist Doja Cat to expound on everything their pussies deserve and will absolutely settle for nothing less than. And why should they when they’re spitting out verses this inspiredly hilarious with such confidence and flow? 

18. “LICK IN HEAVEN”- JESSY LANZA

“Once I’m spinning, I can’t stop spinning...”

Jessy Lanza is talking about losing your cool, letting your emotions get the best of you and lashing out instead of letting cooler heads prevail, but when that earworm of a chorus hits- “once I’m spinning, I can’t stop spinning” - I can’t stop spinning. I’m that woman on the single art, a wine mom lost in the delirium of the dance floor and in Lanza’s hypnotic, fragmented rhythms.  

17. “GASLIGHTER”- THE CHICKS

“Boy, you know exactly what you did on my boat!”

“Gaslighter” finds Natalie Ames and her Chicks at their most simultaneously ruthless and ebullient, ripping Ames’s ex-husband Adrian Pasdar a new asshole and ratcheting up the righteous anger of “Goodbye Earl” tenfold, channeling it into a glorious wall of sound in what might be their most rousing, emotionally resonant chorus in their storied career. 

16. “HANNAH SUN”- LOMELDA

“Hannah do no harm...”

While “Hannah Sun” begins as an exquisitely observed rumination on grappling with long-distance, pining for someone who’s a continent away, it gradually becomes clear that Hannah Read blames herself for putting the distance between her and the subject of her longing, and that the distance isn’t strictly literal. Skittering synths (or is that distorted flute?) complicate and enrich the texture of the song, allowing it to build organically and stunningly towards a heartbreaking plea to herself- “Hannah, do no harm.”

15. “FIRE”- WAXAHATCHEE

“And when I turn back around will you drain me back out? Will you let me believe that I broke through?”

When I’d drive back and forth between Dallas and Austin over and over again when I was in college, I’d often get off I-35 past Waco and take the back roads through towns I’d never heard of, the sun setting spectacularly behind the titular hills of Hill Country that were beginning to roll out in earnest. I think about that a lot when listening to “Fire,” a song dripping in rural Americana that was, unsurprisingly, inspired by a road trip. We’ve probably all been Katie Crutchfield as she crossed the bridge into West Memphis- alone in the car, awed by the simple beauty of the American countryside, making speeches to ourselves about our past mistakes and figuring out a way forward. 

14. “3AM”- HAIM

“On the screen and in my jeans, just make me feel good.”

On an album full of genre departures and decidedly darker themes than we’ve typically heard from Haim in their near decade of syncopated bubblegum pop rock, “3AM” stands out not only as their most effective stab at pastiche, slipping into the trappings of contemporary R&B with shocking ease and gusto, but also as their most unabashedly fun track in their entire oeuvre. “I think you can hear the amount of joy and laughs we had making this song” Alana Haim tells Apple Music, and you absolutely can.

13. “QADIR”- NICK HAKIM

“We’re sinking down a hole without thinking about our loved ones who might be shrinking...”

I often wonder if I’m putting enough effort into maintaining my relationships with friends I don’t see regularly, who live several time zones away, living their own lives while I live mine. When the thought of sustaining simple correspondence becomes overwhelming, it’s easy for months to go by before you realize you haven’t spoken to one of your closest friends. “QADIR” plays less like a eulogy for a friend gone too soon (though of course it is that) than a plea to the listener to put in the work. It’s worth it. You never know when it’ll be too late.

12. “LEVITATING”- DUA LIPA

“Glitter in the sky, glitter in our eyes shining just the way we are.”

Just a few bars of that delightfully bouncy, extra-terrestrial beat is enough to launch me into space. It’s so refreshing to hear a song that remembers that pop is supposed to be joyful and is best when it’s a bit silly. When discussing this track with Apple Music, Dua Lipa cites Austin Powers as inspiration, elaborating that “if I do a video for this, Mike Meyers has to be in it.” Can’t you just see them together, performing a farcical pas de deux of seduction like the spiritual successor to “Beautiful Stranger?”

11. “RIQUIQUI”- ARCA

“Love in the face of fear! Fear in the face of God!”

Arca’s made a career of harnessing chaos and somehow making sense of it. On an album that finds her embracing more traditional, accessible song structures, “Riquiqui” is a reminder that even when working within an AB structure, she’s still breaking rules left and right and having a blast doing it. She’s also never sounded so ferociously empowered in either her femininity or in her Venezuelan identity, rattling off local colloquialisms with affection and verve without a second thought as to who’s going to understand it. 

10. “FANTASY”- AGAINST ALL LOGIC

“I think about you all the time...”

Or, the musical embodiment of this gif:

When Nicolas Jaar’s tormented synths and crunching beats give way to Beyoncé’s unmistakable alto, it is indeed quite the shock. But should it be? Even if 2017-2019 finds him ditching the dancefloor in favor of more severe, unforgiving soundscapes, his already varied career has shown us nothing’s off limits to him. So why not reinvent Beyoncé’s iconic “Baby Boy” into an industrial, vaguely sinister certified bop that arguably surpasses the original?

9. “PEOPLE, I’VE BEEN SAD”- CHRISTINE AND THE QUEENS

“If you disappear, then I’m disappearing, too.”

“People, I’ve been sad” plays out with the vulnerability and intimacy of a tumblr text post you put out in the middle of the night, only to hastily delete later when it gets no notes. It forgoes flowery language in favor of just getting to the point. “I’ve been sad.” Héloïse Adelaïde Letissier blows up this deceptively simple sentiment with richly layered textures and a big screen gloss not to offer any remedies but instead to offer solidarity. We’re all in this hell together.

8. “DESCRIBE”- PERFUME GENIUS

“Can you just find him for me?”

Mike Hadreas has never sounded so hopeless. Utilizing harsh, rattling guitar that would make Kevin Shields swoon, he conveys the experience of being so estranged from happiness and joy that you need to rely on others to describe the sensation to you. But how, when exploring darker textures than he ever has before, does he make despondency sound so divine? 

7. “4 AMERICAN DOLLARS”- U.S. GIRLS

“No matter how much you get to have, you will still die and that’s the only thing.”

Meg Remy picks up where she left off on “4 American Dollars,” reviving the subversive pastiche she mastered on In a Poem Unlimited, this time harnessing the power of funk to dismantle the fallacies we’re taught about the virtues of capitalism. Heavy stuff, but Remy makes it less didactic than joyous, ensuring the listener will be singing “I don’t believe in pennies and nickels and dimes and dollars and pesos and pounds and rupees and yen and rubles” until they start to wonder if maybe they shouldn’t, either. 

6. “STUPID LOVE”- LADY GAGA

“I freak out, I freak out, I freak out, I freak out!”

Due to a healthy spirit of contrarianism mixed with a touch of internalized homophobia and genuine bafflement at her universal appeal and praise, I was a proud Lady Gaga hater for as long as she’d been a cultural entity. I just didn’t get her at all and loved that about myself. Annoying, I know. 2020 was the year I was finally ready to let that all go. Just before the world fell apart in March, I was out at Flaming Saddles (RIP) with friends the night this song came out and by the sixteenth time it played, I understood why it was inducing such hysteria. This was a cultural shift. After a frustrating near-decade of Gaga subverting expectations so thoroughly that she was actively working against her strengths and sabotaging her cultural ubiquity in the process, coupled with the most frightening era of political upheaval in our lifetimes, she was finally ready to save us and be Lady Gaga again. Booming synth, drag sensibilities, absurd thematic conceits- all was right in the world. For the first time in a long time, people had something to be hopeful about, and as I danced that night, I felt that hope, too. 

5. “SHELLFISH MADEMOISELLE”- RÓISÍN MURPHY

“How dare you sentence me to a lifetime without dancing?”

As soon as that bass starts (the funkiest bassline in the history of music?) it’s like Róisín Murphy’s snake charming oboe, coaxing even the most stalwart curmudgeon onto the dancefloor and keeping them there, dancing frantically and involuntarily like the citizens of Strasbourg in 1518, trying their best to keep up with Murphy who isn’t even breaking a sweat, commanding the masses with a sultry remove, beckoning you closer, pulling you inexorably deeper into the mass of gyrating bodies and whispering in your ear “come and have a dance with yer mum.”

4. “PARTY 4 U”- CHARLI XCX

“I only threw this party for you...”

As PC Music / Bubblegum Bass / whatever you want to call it enters its second decade, Charli XCX proves not only that there’s still new textures to explore within it, but also that no one can exploit its artifice to get down to emotional truths like she can. How can she make something this slick sound so vulnerable? “I only threw this party for you” she croons over and over again over glorious syncopated synths that build exquisitely, reaching their climax only to immediately fall away, until it’s just her and her trusty autotune, pleading with the subject of the song to just come to the damn party. But they won’t, of course. They never do, do they?

3. “WAP”- CARDI B, FT. MEGAN THEE STALLION

“I want you to touch that lil’ dangly thing that swing in the back of my throat!”

Sometimes you just immediately know you’re living through a significant cultural moment. No, not COVID. I’m talking about the experience of hearing Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s instant classic “WAP” for the first time, a titanic meeting of the minds that finds both of them at the apex of their cultural influence and at their most undeniable. Can the argument be made that these two aren’t the two best rappers in the game right now? How could you hear this inspiredly filthy sex positive juggernaut, where Cardi and Megan are trading the sickest verses of their careers, and not think these two deserve the world? 

2. “KEROSENE!”- YVES TUMOR

“I can be your baby in real life, sugar. I can live in your dreams.”

If the 2010′s were all about the pop-ification of all music, trading in live instrumentation in favor of polished synths, 2020 forcefully announced the return of the electric guitar when Yves Tumor and Diana Gordon’s back and forth lustfully submissive declarations of desire suddenly gave way to that nasty guitar rip lifted from Uriah Heep’s “Weep in Silence” to announce yet another cultural shift in a year chock full of them- rock and roll was, indeed, here to stay. 

1. “I WANT YOU TO LOVE ME”- FIONA APPLE

“I move with the trees in the breeze, I know that time is elastic.”

We live and we learn. Years spent soul searching and on self-discovery shape us into better, smarter people, progressively knowing and understanding ourselves and the world around us more and more clearly, but Fiona Apple knows that none of that can quell the ferocious desire to be loved by someone. By anyone. By you, whoever that is. We can know that time is elastic and that when we’re gone all our particles will disband and disperse and then we’ll be back in the pulse, and we can know that none of this stuff actually matters, but still- we want, we want, we want. 

[maticide666]

my eurovision top 39 songs (finally)

anyway i finally got my top 39 completed. under a read more because it can get kinda long with the commentary i added klfdja;sflk (and by that i mean VERY long, maybe a wall of text if i have a lot to say about the song.)

none of this takes rehearsals into account.

basically, 39-37 i don't like, 36-35 are meh, 34-25 are decent, 24-18 are good, 17-12 i enjoy listening to a lot, 11-4 i love, and I would pay for votes for top 3 if i could.

39. Azerbaijan - Efendi - Mata Hari - Honestly, I kinda want to like this song. The instrumentation is nice, especially with the Azeri instruments. Efendi's vocals are ok during the verses. However, her vocals during the MA-MA-MA-MATA HARI part makes this song utterly unlistenable for me. It is just so distracting and ear-grating. Not great for my sensitive ears. And that is without taking anything else into account.

38. Estonia - Uku Suviste - The Lucky One - For some reason reminds me of a boring modern country song. Bland af. At least the melody of the chorus is nice.

37. Cyprus - Elena Tsagrinou - El Diablo - Discount Lady Gaga at the best points of this song. Feels like three songs at once. Also, the lyrics seem like they just went all "What Spanish-sounding words sound spicy? Taco? Tamale? Mamacita?" As a Spanish speaker and as someone of Mexican descent who enjoys those foods, this annoys the living shit out of me. At least I can make El Diablo/Fallen Angel memes out of this. (Honestly, I don't mind the gratuitous Spanish with the words El Diablo.) Also, this song got real old real quick.

36. Slovenia - Ana Soklič - Amen - The gospel vibe is nice, but there is just too much Christianity in it for me to enjoy this song. Sorry, Ana.

35. Moldova - Natalia Gordienko - Sugar - Sounds like a sugary version of Siren Song by MARUV. Kinda boring, but enjoyable in the right circumstances.

34. Georgia - Tornike Kipiani - You - Good to listen to when mind feels blank. At first I kinda liked this song, but nowadays this song has lost its charm. This won't sound out of place alongside boring 70s slow classic rock songs.

33. Austria - Vincent Bueno - Amen - Not something I would listen to regularly, but still nice. For me, easily the biggest downgrade from 2020.

32. Greece - Stefania - Last Dance - Pleasant to listen to, not much else.

31. Portugal - The Black Mamba - Love Is On My Side - Good song, but not my cup of tea. Unfortunately, some great songs have to be near the bottom of my ranking.

30. Germany - Jendrik - I Don't Feel Hate - A fun song to listen to. The novelty wears off after a while. The feel good vibes and ukulele are nice.

29. Israel - Eden Alene - Set Me Free - the song release version was bland and boring, but the revamp. Now THAT is good stuff. The song doesn't seem so empty anymore. I miss the key change from the original, though.

28. Spain - Blas Cantó - Voy A Quedarme - A very emotional and beautiful song from Spain. Again, not usually my cup of tea. However, the melody somehow gives me a nostalgic vibe.

27. North Macedonia - Vasil - Here I Stand - DAMN Vasil has a lovely voice. Nice that he's showing it off here. Too slow of a song for me to enjoy regularly, though.

26. Albania - Anxhela Peristeri - Karma - I don't have much to say other than this song is nice.

25. Bulgaria - VICTORIA - Growing Up Is Getting Old - Pleasant to listen to, but depending on my mood I think this is a beautiful song but not my cup of tea or a complete snoozefest.

24. Serbia - Hurricane - Loco Loco - Fun song, but it feels like something is lacking, and I can't quite put my finger on it.

23. San Marino - Senhit - Adrenalina - Once the initial hype from Flo Rida being on the song died down, this became another typical Eurovision bop.

22. Sweden - Tusse - Voices - At first I thought the song was completely unremarkable and couldn't understand how this won Melodifestivalen. Nowadays it's a nice song to chill to. I gotta respect a perfect televote score from the national final.

21. Ireland - Lesley Roy - MAPS - nice.

20. Croatia - Albina - Tick Tock - Grew on me slightly. Shoutout for including a verse in Croatian.

19. Switzerland - Gjon's Tears - Tout l'Univers - Another grower for me. Doesn't hit as hard as his song from last year, but I dig it.

18. France - Barbara Pravi - Voilà - Lovely chanson right here. I wish it didn't take forever to pick up, though. I was about to completely give up on this song in the middle of my first listen. I'm glad I didn't.

17. Belgium - Hooverphonic - The Wrong Place - Classy. Not much else to say.

16. Ukraine - Go-A - Shum - I'd definitely go rave to this song. I kept finding this song hard to rank due to the white voice. I couldn't decide if I absolutely adored it or if I found it grating. Maybe I just wasn't feeling well when I first thought about it.

15. Lithuania - The Roop - Discoteque - Lots of fun, doesn't have the charm that On Fire had last year. I would dance to this song.

14. Poland - RAFAŁ - The Ride - I actually kinda like this song???? Even with Rafal's vocals??? I know he has political controversies, but I can't help but think this song is nice. A better, less controversial singer would benefit this song, though. I'm not counting the revamp just yet since it was released too recently.

13. Latvia - Samanta Tīna - The Moon Is Rising - This song gives me nostalgic mid to late 2000s hip hop vibes. The guitars in this song are lovely.

12. Romania - ROXEN - Amnesia - Definitely something that can put me in a trance if I'm in the right mood.

11. Czechia - Benny Cristo - omaga - Nice, catchy, I would dance to this.

10. Malta - Destiny - Je Me Casse - Damn, Destiny has a lovely voice! And the song itself is wonderful. I'm not a fan of the amount of Swedish talent being used instead of Maltese talent, but I really do enjoy listening to this.

9. Denmark - Fyr og Flamme - Øve Os På Hinanden - another really fun song! This really grew on me. Nowadays if I want to listen to a Eurovision song, this is one of the first songs I think of.

8. The Netherlands - Jeangu Macrooy - Birth of a New Age - I can vibe with this. You can hear the passion in this song. I wish I could let my body do the talking right now, but y'all can't see that with just a tumblr text post.

7. Russia - Manizha - Russian Woman - I was NOT expecting this to come out of Russia when it won the national final. I wasn't expecting to like this either. The message is great, the instrumental is great, everything about this is brilliant.

6. United Kingdom - James Newman - Embers - A funky song. I LOVE James's voice. Massive upgrade from last year in my opinion. I'm a sucker for brass in an upbeat song. Unfortunately, I have had the staging kinda spoiled and I am VERY skeptical about this coming out of bottom five. I'm done with the BBC.

5. Australia - Montaigne - Technicolour - There is a Lot happening in this song and I am all in for it. I'm kinda terrible at parsing lyrics, but it's a non-issue when I can follow Montaigne's voice and forget about the lyrics. Ironically enough, it's Montaigne's voice that also worries me this Eurovision season - mostly whether she was able to pull off her live on tape performance off.

4. Iceland - Daði og Gagnamagnið - 10 Years - I didn't think Daði could pull it off against this year, but he did it. I like this just a little more than Think About Things, which was my favorite song last year. I'm still a little gutted that this pandemic robbed him of a probable victory, but I've made peace with it. I still need to learn the dance moves, though.

3. Italy - Måneskin - Zitti E Buoni - FUCK YEAH A KICKASS ROCK SONG IN EUROVISION! This song gave me massive rock en español vibes on my fist listen, and honestly this is something I would bang my head to if I had the same body I did when I was 15.

2. Norway - TIX - Fallen Angel - I was not expecting to like this song much, let alone becoming THIS obsessed with TIX. In fact, he wasn't even on my radar for winning MGP. I listened to Ut Av Mørket for the first time and thought something like 'this is boring af, but at least it's in Norwegian'. And then he changed it to English, which I wasn't a fan of at first. And then one day the lyrics clicked - especially with my own struggles with mental illness. To this day this is one of only two Eurovision songs to actually make me cry. Even now he still isn't my MGP winner (that honor goes to JORN), but he has definitely won my heart.

1. Finland - Blind Channel - Dark Side - To say that this song kicks ass would be an understatement for me. This song has just the right mix of rock, pop, and even metal. Ever since I found out that this song would be in the national final, I knew that it would be my favorite this whole Eurovision season regardless of who won UMK. Yes, my jaw dropped when I saw the lead Blind Channel had in UMK. I literally cancelled my plans to watch the MGP final live because of these guys. I am not disappointed. Even Måneskin couldn't bring these guys down in my ranking. And while the lyrics might be a bit iffy, they did get me through rough times. I hope these guys are able to bring rock music back like they want to. But for now, I will give them my (useless tbh) douze points.

[sillyguyhotline]

what are your voice hcs for the yttd cast?

hope these work!! i ended up adding in a few unrelated headcanons, and it’s like 1 am so i only got to the main cast. if you want me to do any of the dolls lmk :)

Sara: I’ve heard a lot of people say she’d sound like Mahiru Koizumi, and I honestly agree with that, but I think her voice would be deeper. I hc that she was one of those girls with an unusually deep voice when she was younger and got teased for it a lot. Now, though, she takes advantage of it and uses it to be more intimidating during debates and arguments.

Joe: Okay so once I saw a post where someone hc’ed his voice as sounding like Shaggy and another one where someone proposed it would sound like Kazuichi so honestly I’m gonna go with something between that. His voice would be sort of deep but I could also see it as having a dopey quality to it. He probably just talks in a joking or exaggerated tone so frequently that it’s become normal for him, and only a few people (such as Sara and Ryoko) have heard his voice when he’s not intentionally making himself sound ridiculous. 

Keiji: He just has a really deep, calm voice- think Rantaro or Ryoma. Johneawesome’s voice for him works really well, too. He can count on two hands the amount of people who have told him he should start an ASMR channel because of how soothing his voice is. Usually I’d say that Keiji is probably detached enough from the internet that he wouldn’t know what ASMR is, but I think he’d stumble across it while looking for techniques to combat insomnia and quickly develop a liking for it. Now he listens to it every night because it helps to keep intrusive thoughts and guilt away, to some extent. He’ll laugh whenever people tell him he should start a channel of his own, but he’s secretly considering it.

Kanna: Her voice is super sweet and gentle, leaning towards the quiet side. Sort of like Chiaki’s, but not quite as high pitched. I think she’d really enjoy singing quiet songs and lullabies; her family members tell her she has the voice of an angel, and they’re right! She’s probably sung to baby cousins to calm them down before, and when it actually worked she got super proud of herself.

Q-taro: I’m boring, so he has a Southern accent, but in more of a smooth country singer way than a yeehaw way. He has very mixed feelings on songs about trucks. 

Shin: Okay, so... once a friend and I were having a conversation about him and we proposed that he had the stereotypical “I’m Bri ish” accent. HOWEVER, it only comes out when he’s panicking or is otherwise overemotional. Nobody really seems to know where he developed it, but they just kind of accept it. (this is a joke but i’m going with this hc because i find it funny). Otherwise he just kinda sounds like a normal dude, though his voice is a little bit higher than most. 

Reko: I can’t really think of anyone to compare her to, but her voice is pretty rough, a little deeper than Sara’s. She has a lot of range, though; when she’s singing, she’ll typically go a lot higher, to the point where she’s screaming, but when talking will usually stick to lower tones. In fact, when she’s angry, she’ll go really deep and nearly snarl at people.

Nao: I don’t really know how to describe it, but I think that in normal times Nao has a really steady voice. It’s not exactly quiet, but it’s very gentle and has a certain degree of confidence to it. When she’s anxious, though, it skyrockets in pitch and becomes a lot more trembly. I’d imagine her not really liking how she sounds when she’s anxious, but her frustration only ends up making it worse. (reko, on the contrary, thinks she sounds very sweet and intentionally makes her flustered so she can hear the anxious voice).

Kai: He has a very quiet, musing voice, reminiscent of Korekiyo’s but a bit more muted. I can see him enjoying poetry, and he’ll often read poems either to himself or others because the words flow off his tongue in such a satisfying way. Perhaps he used to read bedtime stories to Sara when she was younger and it nurtured a love for reading because of how fantastic the stories sounded in his voice! (this is sort of unrealistic but let me have this headcanon, maybe she was young enough that she wouldn’t remember him hfbdfhbdf). He’ll rarely ever raise his voice; rather, when he’s angry, it drops its lilting quality and becomes a lot harsher.

Gin: I think he’d sound sort of like Masaru Daimon; he’s just a very energetic and enthusiastic little kid. I also think his voice would go a lot higher for the “meows” and a lot lower for the “woofs.” He’s been practicing and perfecting his animal sounds for a long time and he’s very proud of how they currently sound; it’s somewhere between enunciating the word and imitating the actual sound.

Alice: God, every time I imagine his voice, I can’t help but think of Gundham Tanaka if his voice wasn’t quite as deep. Just… a very overdramatic, theatrical voice that he often puts on to intimidate people. His voice will go to a very high-pitched “EEEE” type scream if he’s ever startled, though. 

Mishima: I just hear his voice as the typical “evil scientist” voice. Perhaps his, like Joe’s, was developed over time because his students joked about his appearance and he, being the good-natured teacher that he is, went along with their jokes. It’s rubbed off on his normal speaking voice quite a bit, but when he’s tired he drops the act.

[howaminotinthestrokesyet]

Behind The Album: Metallica (The Black Album)

Metallica's fifth studio album was released in August 1991. They recorded it at One On One Studios in Los Angeles and Little Mountain Sound Studios in Vancouver with new producer Bob Rock. Once again, the majority of the record was composed by James Hetfield and Lars Ulrich as Hetfield wrote all of the lyrics. Kirk Hammett and Jason Newsted also contributed significantly by providing riffs including “Enter Sandman” and “My Friend of Misery.” Metallica decided to go with Bob Rock based on his production work with Motley Crue for their 1989 record, Dr. Feelgood. During the recording sessions, the band did something differently from previous efforts as they played as a group in the studio, not separately. James Hetfield talked about this change. "What we really wanted was a live feel. In the past, Lars and I constructed the rhythm parts without Kirk and Jason. This time I wanted to try playing as a band unit in the studio. It lightens things up and you get more of a vibe." The record took a much longer time to make when compared with their previous efforts beginning with the first demos in August 1990 and concluding in June 1991.

Producer Rock thought recording would be relatively easy, but due to arguments between him and other band members about the direction and quality of the music it became a bit of a disaster. He was highly critical of James Hetfield’s lyrics begging him to write better ones. The band would record as many takes as possible until the sound was right making for a very perfectionist environment in the studio. Kirk Hammett, Jason Newsted, and Lars Ulrich would end up divorcing their wives during the recording of this album creating even more tension between them. Hammett talked about what effect this had on them in the studio. We were “trying to take those feeling of guilt and failure and channel them into the music, to get something positive out of it.” Rock very briefly promised to never work with the band again because the studio was so stressful, but he quickly took that back to work with the band for the next decade. The documentary A Year and a Half in the Life shows quite accurately with real footage of what the making of this album was really like.

This record saw Metallica change its sound from their typical thrash metal to a slower heavy metal vibe that could almost be seen as hard rock. One of the reasons the band did this emerged in the fact that heavy metal as opposed to thrash metal represented a more commercial sound. That is not to say they completely abandoned any element of thrash metal, but instead there was much less of it. Unlike And Justice For All, Bob Rock raised the sound of the base considerably, so that the instrument could be heard. All the band members had the intention of making this album much simpler as opposed to the previous ones with so many riffs and long tracks. James Hetfield would say this, “We had pretty much done the longer song format to death." Lars Ulrich also talked about this change as well. “We felt inadequate as musicians and as songwriters, That made us go too far, around Master of Puppets and Justice, in the direction of trying to prove ourselves. 'We'll do all this weird-ass shit sideways to prove that we are capable musicians and songwriters'" Hetfield did emphasize in interviews that the intention of getting their songs played more on the radio was never foremost in the band’s mind. Another change with this album came in the fact that Hetfield now wrote lyrics based on personal experiences instead of the backdrop of ideas from film, literature, and music. Chris True of AllMusic talked about specifically some tracks on the album as examples. "Enter Sandman'' is about "nightmares and all that come with them". "The God That Failed" dealt with the death of Hetfield's mother from cancer and her Christian science beliefs, which kept her from seeking medical treatment. "Nothing Else Matters" was a love song Hetfield wrote about missing his girlfriend while on tour.``

The title of the album became an extensive discussion as well for the group. They considered naming it after a song on the album or five because this would be their fifth studio album. Yet, they ultimately chose to go the self- titled route in keeping with the theme of simplicity running throughout the entire album. The album's cover was completely black except for the logo and the Gadsden flag in each corner. The two images we’re very difficult to see, so people began calling it The Black Album. The initial printing of the album had those logos embossed in the same color, but on later printings of the album they were changed to a gray color. The Gadsden flag first created during the American Revolution had a motto attached to it, Don’t Tread On Me, which represented a track on the album as well. During the documentary A Year and a Half in the Life, Lars Ulrich joked that Their album looked just like Spinal Tap’s Smell The Glove in Rob Reiner‘s mockumentary. They even included a scene where the band members meet up with Michael Mckean, who actually asked about the similarities. Ulrich would later say that the actual inspiration for the album cover came from the seventies group, Status Quo.

Upon the release of The Black Album, the band subsequently released six singles, which represented a stark contrast to their previous releases. The lead single “Enter Sandman” made it all the way to number 16 on the hot 100 Billboard chart, while other singles did fairly well either in the US or internationally. The music video for “Enter Sandman” went on to win Best Rock Video at the 1992 MTV Video Music Awards. The only single not to do much on the charts was “Sad But True,” but it must be noted that the single had a much later release date of 1993. The record itself represented Metallica’s best selling album ever. The Black Album stayed number one in the United States for four consecutive weeks, while it topped the charts in 10 different countries at the same time. By the year 2012, the record had sold 16 million copies becoming the first one in the Nelson SoundScan era to do so. As of 2019, this record was still charting on the billboard 200 making it an exclusive member of the 550 Week Club. Critics emerged as fairly unanimous in their praise of the Black Album. One of the biggest changes for the band came in the fact that not only heavy metal journalists saw the great qualities of it, but now mainstream magazines like New Musical Express were discussing Metallica. Entertainment Weekly’s David Brown said that the group had invented a new genre called progressive thrash. Alec Foege of Spin noted a newfound versatility for the group and songs like the unforgiven and holier than thou. Mark Cooper of Q Magazine mentioned the fact that the record avoided several heavy metal clichés that had come to dominate the genre. Robert Palmer of Rolling Stone said that the album was filled with many hard rock classics. Greg Kot of the Chicago Tribune in a retrospective piece said that if you are a novice to the music, then this album is the perfect place to start. Kerrang! in a retrospective article as well pointed out that this album catapulted the band from thrash metal underground pioneers to worldwide rock stars. There was bound to be repercussions over such a major change to the group and how they are viewed. Sid Smith of BBC Music took this observation to the next step by noting that many of Metallica‘s diehard fans did not necessarily love this record because they saw it as the band selling out. This view will become even more prevalent in the years to come as they move their sound much closer to hard rock for the rest of the decade. Allmusic’s Steve Huey observed that this record helped to inspire other speed metal bands to simplify their sound. The album also foreshadowed the decline of Metallica’s creative period. The self-titled Metallica went on to win a Grammy in 1992 for Best Rock Album. The record would make several best of lists, but surprisingly their best selling album for the most part never competed with some of their earlier works on these lists.

[kintsugi-sheep]

2021.01.10: Redcaps and Manga Reviewing, Vigor and Nostalgia

Alright, so what happened this week?

Well, I don’t think I’ll ever forget what happened this week. I was six when September 11th occurred, so I wasn’t really cognizant of what had happened. But I am cognizant now. And I won’t forget what happened on January 6th for a very long time. I don’t consider myself especially patriotic or loyal to the democratic system of government as it operates in this country, but I do acknowledge when something so sacrosanct is violated.

I don’t want to spend time getting into this. If you’re old enough to find this blog post you’re old enough to know what happen. I hadn’t intended for that to be what I wanted to talk about anyway.

Where I left off last week, I wanted to announce my intention of making a video on Shaman King.

There are a number of hurdles—some might even dare to call them issues—with this idea. I’m not a reviewer. I don’t have any video editing experience. I don’t have a platform of great enough scale to protect my work. And, for the nature of what I intend to write, I may not even have enough time to get it out before the series drops in April.

So why bother?

Because I love the series. For years, it almost never came up in conversation, but when it did, I was pumped up with the nostalgia I had while reading it. I didn’t know where this excitement came from for years.

It’s a good manga. Not the best that there ever was, but yet I inexplicably loved it. And I didn’t really know why. But when I was asked what my favorite manga of all time was my answer would be Shaman King.

When I heard the anime was getting a re-release and when I heard they were going to re-publish the manga in full this time, I was ecstatic. I told my friend about it and, being the type of person who’s typically late regarding news related to anime releases, they already knew.

Then, I saw the articles. And my heart ached.

Read my article about how Shaman King is pulling a Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood.

Read my article about ten characters that will be in this anime that weren’t in the original.

Read about whether or not this character is okay for woke 2021.

And I my stomach sinks when I think about what will be coming next.

Theories made by people who read the series and are reciting spoilers for clicks.

Essays on why Hao is the greatest anime villain of all time for clicks.

Speculation on whether or not Yoh can beat Goku in a fight.

I don’t have a very high opinion of journalism. And knowing that the series I love will be used and disposed of for quick clicks is upsetting to me.

In deciding to do this project, I put it all together. I realized why I loved this series.

When I drew as a youngster, Shaman King’s stab-your-eye-out-on-my-protagonist’s-edges art was my early influence for character design.

Every story I’ve come up with—whether or not it’s been continued, recycled into another idea, or wholly abandoned—has had themes of spirituality that I’d only seen present in Shaman King as a child watching it on the FoxBox.

It was my exposure to the reality that manga and anime don’t always coincide; I hadn’t watched FMA or FMAB yet.

I used to record the Saturday morning cartoons and watch them with my grandmother, and while for years I’d hop between Fox, the WB, and ABC recording cartoons so that we’d watch things like Lilo and Stitch, Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, the Proud Family, Xiaolin Showdown, Coconut Fred, Ultimate Muscle, Johnny Test, Mucha Lucha, Jackie Chan Adventures, even One Piece—to name what I could from the top of my head, these shows didn’t all run on these channels in the same breadth of time—I’d skip over Shaman King, keeping it selfishly to myself like a child would.

This week, it hurt watching a bunch of redneck monsters trample over the Capitol. As someone cynical of the government, it hurt to know something so sacrosanct could be treated so shamefully. But it hurts so much worse to imagine that I wasted all these years, like a boy concealing his affection for a girl until she falls into the arms of someone else, to actually take the time and express the love I have for this series.

The image of this post is an issue of Jump a buddy of mine bought at a thrift store or yard sale and gave me almost three years ago. I posted the picture with a long blurb about how my week feeling on Facebook. A lot of it is auxiliary, but I’d like to recount what I wrote here.

Spoiler alert, I was feeling a little pretentious that day:

 “Vigor. Even writing this feels more cumbersome than it actually is.

How do I say what I mean? I hate nostalgia. It’s true, if hyperbolic. I see it cut down so many peers, creatives, and critics like a guillotine; a sloppy, artificially guided, swift force that lops their heads into a collective basket of thought.

Still, this past week I’ve felt my own dismissive chest opened with a more surgical precision that permissed” [NOT A WORD] “nostalgia to play with my heart strings. I reflected on Avatar, a show from a time when animated shows didn’t have their runtimes bisected for the simpler consumption of children that would choke on anything longer, that powered itself on the labor and inspired vision of its creators and crew as opposed to memes for the children and references for the adults, and had the temerity to demand that an audience be comfortable going thirty minutes at a time without a joke to amuse them.

My friend went to Pennsylvania and got me an issue of the now defunct Shonen Jump magazine from 2004. It had series of comics I’d forgotten about and an ad for Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man 2, but those were inconsequential. I find Shaman King to be the greatest comic I’ve ever read and in August, the month of the issue I’d received, the protagonist was featured prominently on the cover. I remembered how engrossing it was to read something with that level of complexity; taking into account my age. And never since have I seen a series with such a great balance of brutality and humor and never since have I seen any form of media where” [REDACTED FOR SPOILERS] “led to a happy ending.

To round it off, within the hours before writing this I’d watched Feel Good Inc. I couldn’t help but feel my eyes begin to water at the genius of Damon Albarn and Jamie Hewlett. An unforgettable song latticed with moments of haunting beauty and brilliance.

As a child I would sit down for hours to draw terribly. And I loved every warped, misshapen, humanoid, tailed thing I drew. I’d scan my grandmother’s cookbooks and write recipes by mending foods I liked together in a manner similar to Frankenstein assembling his monster. I wrote chapter after chapter of a terrible story because I wanted to prove to my first girlfriend that I could write something better than twilight. I had a sense of self-motivation. I hadn’t struggled through college for a year to graduate without confidence in my own abilities. Or lost friends to unfair circumstances beyond my control or the ignorance of how much control I had. Or been stressed to the point of genuine fear from some of my earlier work. In many ways I still feel like the child I was when I lived at my grandmother’s house. Except now as a child too anxious to do anything besides what he knows will keep him alive.

How do I say what I mean? Not well. That, too, may have been a bit too hyperbolic. It’s not that I hate nostalgia, but that I fear being stagnated in memories of better days. Still, like a failing vegetarian having a hamburger the time I’ve taken to indulge myself has let me realize something I’ve been missing from my diet.

Vigor.”

[thebandcampdiaries]

Benjamin Andrews is back on the scene with a new release: Silver Lining

September 2020 - Benjamin Andrews is a British singer and songwriter currently based in Vienna, Austria, where he’s been living for the past 28 years! Benjamin developed a personal and distinctive style, inspired by a wide variety of influences. From indie to brit-pop, and alternative rock, the possibilities are endless! His most recent studio release is titled “Silver Lining.” It stands out as a fantastic example of his energy and creativity as a songwriter. This album features 15 songs, each showcasing a different side to the artist’s music. The opening track, “Got to Believe,” has a classic feel. The songwriting makes me think of artists as diverse as Guns’N’Roses, The Beatles, and Tom Petty, going for an excellent mix of rock, country-blues, and alternative music.The second song, “Far Away from Home,” is a lush, melodic ballad, which showcases a different side to Benjamin’s music. The lyrics and the vocals make me think of artists like The Calling or The Fray, especially due to the emotional edge of this performance! The third track, “No More Apologies,” begins with a memorable guitar riff, almost reminiscent of Flamenco or Latin guitar. However, the rest of the song has a fantastic 90s flavor, in the vein of artists like Pearl Jam, The Pixies, or Nirvana. I particularly enjoy the bittersweet sound of this song and how natural it feels! “Stormy Waters” is an immersive, melancholic song with a nostalgic tone. I love the slow tempo and the dreamy melodies. The next track takes the listener someplace else. “Nothing’s Made to Last” is a catchy, fun, and diverse alternative rock number with a unique beat and a powerful set of vocal melodies. I love the big guitar sounds and the articulation of the drums in the verses, especially! “Innocence I Mourn” is a stunning sound, and it feels like one of the most personal tracks on this release, especially due to the distinctive approach to the music and lyrics. I love it when the drums come in. They really change the vibe of the song with a tighter tempo. The title track itself is a fantastic song that embodies Benjamin’s passion for genuine lyrics and earnest songwriting. The piano melodies are beautifully textural, and they merge perfectly with the acoustic guitar and the vocals. The following tune, “Living Free,” is a bright and uplifting song based on a stunning acoustic guitar pattern and some beautiful lyrics, telling a powerful story that is easy to relate to. “Washed Up on the Shore” is definitely one of the most hard-hitting tracks on this release. The opening riffs are massive, and the verses are a bit more held-back, meaning that when the choruses hit, they sound all the more massive! The song arrangement has some nice dynamics, making this song one of the highlights on the album. “On The Run” is influenced by alt-country and rock, and I can picture artists like R.E.M. or Neil Young, but with a more rock and roll attitude in the vein of Velvet Revolver or Stone Temple Pilots. The next track, “One Last Time,” begins as a piano and vocals ballad. However, the full band soon creeps in, with a delicate drum pattern and a lovely, laid-back rhythm. The song “A Thousand Miles” takes on an unexpected twist, embracing a bit of 80s and even some reggae influences, almost tipping the hat off to artists such as The Police as well as Bob Marley, while still retaining Benjamin’s signature style. The chorus ditches the “skunk” rhythm guitar typical of reggae and dub, in favor of a classic pop-rock vibe, making for a very beautiful contrast and setting the bar higher in terms of creativity and originality.“Hazy Days” is another beautiful song, which combines an effected guitar riff with a tasty electric piano in the background. The drumming is tight and aggressive, creating a very nice contrast. “Just Like Poison” is a quintessential hard-rock ballad, which takes me back to the golden age of the genre, from the mid-80s to the early 90s. Last, but definitely not least, there is also room for an excellent bonus track! “Coffee Shop Girl” has a bit of a retro twist, embracing a fun jazz arrangement that feels very open and dynamic. This is a really great conclusion to an album that is so giving and spot-on in terms of production and performance, as well as songwriting. one of the most interesting and striking features of this release is definitely its remarkable consistency. Not many artists can easily pull off a project that features such a wide variety of elements and influences. The most obvious risk is that the material can end up sounding quite disconnected and loose - but this is definitely not the case. Benjamin is truly passionate about creating honest and fun songs that genuinely connect with the audience, and the sound of this release truly speaks for itself.Find out more about Benjamin Andrews, and do not miss out on “Silver Lining” as well as other exciting releases from this talented artist and performer. This release is currently available on Spotify, Youtube and elsewhere on the web.

https://open.spotify.com/artist/0XyQ8VSw1e3cWmTMJsDFhz?si=0bl8RmsSSTqPP-kfO6dsxg

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKkcXkU2Dq75ydWaNIfH6eQ

https://m.facebook.com/musicbenjaminandrews

https://music.apple.com/us/album/silver-lining/1529344261

Instagram: @benjaminandrews1230

https://open.spotify.com/artist/0XyQ8VSw1e3cWmTMJsDFhz?si=0bl8RmsSSTqPP-kfO6dsxg

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKkcXkU2Dq75ydWaNIfH6eQ

https://m.facebook.com/musicbenjaminandrews

https://music.apple.com/us/album/silver-lining/1529344261

Instagram: @benjaminandrews1230

[dprdabin]

DPR: ‘We Did this Ourselves From the Ground Up’

From a hit debut album to an upcoming world tour, producer DPR REM and artist DPR LIVE talk about their hip-hop crew’s ambitions and expansion plans

Talking to the members of DPR is almost always like a productive frisson that leaves you breathless and excited for the things to come. On the day we chat, the voices of producer Scott Kim—better known as DPR REM—and Hong Dabin, aka DPR LIVE, crackle through the phone on a fine Seoul evening, merging together in waves of introspection and quiet, focused ambition. They’re gearing up for their first world tour, but also trying to wrap their heads around the fact that it’s finally happening.

“Everything is just still so surreal for us. It’s not like we’ve done this in a past life or we had experiences in other entertainment companies. This is all ‘Do It Yourself’, like DIY,” says DPR REM. “Every day is a new experience and a new journey, and I think this world tour is one of the biggest steps we’ve taken in that direction.”

On the off chance that you’re a stranger to DPR, short for Dream Perfect Regime, it’s worth noting that ‘Do It Yourself’ is the cornerstone of the septet’s philosophy. The crew, which has morphed into one of the most prominent and creative voices to emerge from the Korean hip-hop scene, is a completely organic and independent effort–a rare feat in South Korea’s label-saturated music industry. They first gained prominence through their captivating and cinematic visual output which included music videos for K-pop acts such as Big Bang and MOBB, courtesy of in-house director and free-spirit extraordinaire, Christian Yu (known as IAN within the collective.)

Rapper DPR LIVE, essentially the face of the collective, is both a founding member and their first formal artist. LIVE started out by uploading his music on YouTube and eventually commanded people’s attention through his tightly packed, spitfire rap on the viral collaborative 2016 hit “Eung Freestyle.” Then in 2017 came Coming To You Live, his debut EP featuring an impressive roster of collaborations and an even bolder declaration—DPR had arrived in full swing. This, however, was followed by the comparatively mellowed out HER the same year. While Coming To You Live was a grand display of confidence, HER was more focused and convergent in its themes, essentially a one-man act that took DPR LIVE to No. 8 on the Billboard World Albums Chart. “I think going off of CTYL, it was hard to just really stick with one theme because there was just so many people involved. We wanted to keep it open-ended for the artists to translate and interpret the way they wanted to,” says DPR REM, who’s produced both albums. “On the cover album for CTYL, we have a change of seasons going on in the background.” DPR used that as a metaphor of how they wanted to offer different varieties of songs and themes, so it not only introduces DPR LIVE as a rookie artist but also incorporates a lot of the other artists that featured on this project to display their thematic lyricism.

However, REM goes on to explain that when it comes to HER, it became a very solo project for LIVE. “It was solo for being not only for his own experimental purposes, but also in that he really wanted to zone in on his artistry and portray his story, and really give the fans like, ‘Okay, this is me, really like raw, without anybody around. This is the music I want to do right now, the vibes I want to put out.’ I think that’s the distinction.”

At just 26, LIVE is succinct but assertive, prefers to channel his words through music and is always aware of his values and goals thanks to his time in the army, which he says brought focus to his music. “I went to school in Guam. I knew how to speak Korean, because that was the only language my mom and my dad can speak, but I definitely wasn’t good at it.” When his family came to Korea, he had to enlist in the army within a year of arriving. “You have to stay in this military camp for two years, being told what to do, when to eat, when to sleep, and stuff like that. I actually really just honed in on myself, my goals, what I wanted in life, my values, and I learned patience and focus there. I think it was a very good thing to do though, because I don’t think I would have learned another way,” he says.

With millions of online views on their videos and the label of an underground collective left in the past, the members of DPR are gearing up to perform at sold out shows in North America, Europe and Asia Pacific. Here are excerpts from our conversation with REM and LIVE, where they discuss their success, music, and plans for expanding in the future.

On their collaborations with other artists and Coming To You Live:

LIVE: I think for collaborations, it’s always important to meet the person you’re working with, to get a vibe of their energy, their lifestyle, their beliefs. Just getting to know someone as a human is so helpful in understanding them as an artist. Through various talks and meet-ups, I think that’s where the music just naturally comes about. At least in my experience, that’s how you can be versatile. Meeting with various individuals and just communicating – it really opens you up to new thoughts and experiences.

REM: We were actually very lucky with that, because it just all timed perfectly. Usually, you hear a lot of stories where schedules don’t match up or you’re waiting for some other person and they get back to you, which is very often in the entertainment industry, but just—I don’t know what it is. I like to think it’s a lot of luck, to be honest, there’s a lot of great timing and luck that happened.

On music videos and DPR’s visual output:

LIVE: Not just my input, but everyone’s input goes into our visuals. It’s a collective effort, and that’s exactly the reason as to why I think we are able to deliver top notch quality works. We each present a different piece to the puzzle.

REM: I dedicate a lot of that to Christian. He’s a genius when it comes to that. I really think he’s just a crazy gifted kid that you just can’t put into words at times. It just happens for him.

“I don’t want our tour to just be your typical ‘show’ or ‘performance.’ I want fans to gear up for an actual party–a family reunion,” says DPR LIVE. Photo: Courtesy of Dream Perfect Regime

On being independent artists in South Korea:

LIVE: We really did this ourselves from the ground up. Countless mistakes were made, but through just pure diligence, we were able to get to a point where now we can constantly create and make what we want to. That freedom is priceless.

On their Billboard charting and online success:

LIVE: Although I’m super grateful and humbled, I try my best not to focus on stuff like that. The more you start thinking about certain stats and whatnot, I just believe it tends to really limit and almost negatively impact your career. Constantly being burdened and stressed with thoughts like that seem to do way more bad than good. I think these days I’ve just been working on trying to create constantly and explore myself as an artist more and more.

REM: We’re still young kids if you really think about it. Beyond the fame, beyond the success, it’s the fact that we have influence, and that’s what drives us, right? I think we’ve gone various letters in the email and handwritten letters from our fans all across the world, saying ‘Your music has shifted me in this direction and it’s for the better’ and ‘Your music has really inspired to go and pursue my dream, my passions.’ When we get things like this, it’s a very surreal experience. I’m sure a lot of artists feel the same way, but for us, really coming from the ground up, really not knowing anything that we were doing, going through countless mistakes, countless failures, it’s a really rewarding experience, more than anything.

On getting more people to hop on board:

REM: The short answer is: of course, we’d love to build this movement. I think the betterment of the team is just getting more people on board. The bigger your movement becomes, the bigger impact you get. The long answer to that, now, is that because we’re so family oriented, it does get a bit tricky. You have seven kids that grew up together making this DPR dream a reality. At this point, and we’ve said it before, we know each other so well. If we had disagreements and communication problems, it’s exactly how a family would handle it. This is not a company vibe at all, and I feel like, going off of that, we want to conserve that culture as much as can. That’s where it gets difficult, because you have somebody from the outside coming in, and it’s just like… can they really adapt to this environment? Can they adapt to this culture that we’ve set up before it already? I think that’s the hard question for us.

On the upcoming tour and possible new locations:

LIVE: Besides the fact that I’ll be able to finally see my fans face to face, I’m most looking forward to just being in a space filled with people who really support our movement and resonate with us. I don’t want our tour to just be your typical ‘show’ or ‘performance.’ I want fans to gear up for an actual party–a family reunion. Anybody that supports DPR knows up front that our culture goes hand in hand with family. So for us, this tour is similar to like seeing your long lost relatives, or getting together with family members you haven’t seen in years. That’s the level of excitement the team and I have.

REM: We really tried to include as many cities as we could in this tour. It is a world tour and we wanted to hit as many cities as we could, even despite our physical health or whatever. We really wanted to make the time and effort to get to any place that really knows of us or wants us. Even other Spanish-speaking countries or places like India or South Africa… we have tons of fans hitting us up saying we have fans here and there, and we want to cater to those markets much as we can, but at the same time just thinking about the whole bigger picture of the scheduling and the logistics it just couldn’t work out.

That’s what we told our fans, that ‘Hey, just because we’re doing this first world tour doesn’t mean it’s the last world tour. We’re just getting started here, right?’ This is just the beginning, so it builds momentum for the next few cities that we have yet to hit. We’re like, ‘Hey, we see you guys. We know you’re there. Just wait for us.’

© Lavanya Singh @ Rolling Stone India

[dancal13]

Day 2 – So Much Music, So Much Wine

Quick Disclaimer:  Suzy and I both love live music, which is awesome as music has always meant a lot to me. And now Jack, Bailey and Megan are all into music - so I am still learning about and loving new music, while keeping up with past favorites.  But I have grown to hate large crowds (might even be a phobia for the small-minded person - meaning me).  So, we pay attention to all the small venues in Seattle and see a lot of up and coming bands as well as lot of bands that are past their prime.  Pretty cool on the whole, but what we miss out on is the big tours, the bands in the their prime, for example U2’s most recent stadium tour. Not a chance that I would go to that even though I love U2.  But Susan is clever and not one to give up on something she wants to do.  As I mentioned in the Prologue a couple of years ago our friends the Wilbur’s mentioned BottleRock and Susan had her in. Combining and weaving my love for music with my addiction and love for red wine into her sales pitch. The opportunity to see the Red Hot Chile Peppers (never seen by me) and hang in Napa Valley. I was low hanging fruit. (Sorry not such quick disclaimer after all)

And here we are…

We woke up Sunday morning to a chill and the threat of rain and thunder (could be song lyrics).  Much different than our previous visits, where our fears mostly included sunburn and 100-degree weather.  No rain gear, no worries – Susan doesn’t believe in General Admission, that is so bourgeois.  We are VIP Baby and VIP gets you shelter, nice bathrooms, shorter food and drink lines and an obvious sense of superiority.  This of course could easily be disproved, but it’s our story, so stick it. Our friends the Robbs (Jill and John) flew in early that morning and met us for breakfast prior to rocking out.  As true festival goers our breakfast included eggs benedict, smoked salmon-arugula-egg flatbread, Belgium waffles with fresh a bananas and a ham-gruyere omelet, obviously the breakfast of music rebels everywhere.

From there we dropped off the muscle car, its head banging purpose complete and left for the festival.  As we arrived the clouds opened, and we again questioned our attire. We watched in utter horror as umbrellas were collected at the gate and tossed into waiting garbage cans - NOT ALLOWED.  But we were quickly reminded who we were. 

We were VIP and loving every minute of it.  First Stop, I know hard to guess, the bar and wait, you guessed it a covered area looking over the main stage. We would never be anything but damp again as each big stage had a covered area waiting for us.

We had been here before, the covered area previously acted as shade, apparently it can serve two purposes. With wine and cocktails in hand we quickly worked our strategy.  In the two years since we had last attended there were some improvements to VIP. The first being that they had set aside a huge portion of the field in front of the stage for those of us who wanted to see the performers up close.  More on that later.

We headed back to the food and drink areas set aside for our elite status, which included some pretty awesome restaurants and drink options and an acoustic lounge, that featured performers who were finished with their sets or still yet to perform.  These quick and intimate performances lasted about 4 to 6 songs, with a much smaller crowd, maybe a 150 people at its largest. Pretty cool. Just a quick note: though we didn’t take advantage of this (or get taken advantage of by this) there was a booth selling very high-end CUPS of wines.  I wish I would have taken a picture of the menu for posterity.  You could get a small “plastic cup” of Joseph Phelps Insignia for a mere $72. It is here where we were quickly reminded that though we were VIP Special, we were way, way less special than the VIP Platinum attendees.

After some food and drink and an acoustic set or two, we ventured out to the main stage to see Skylar Grey. My only knowledge of her was when we received the first set of promotional materials and I was scrolling through the various artists; I was stopped by the picture of her legs.  See the accompanying picture 😊. Apparently, she is a singer songwriter known more for songs that she has written for more famous artists, she is also currently a local of Napa and a big fan of wine, maybe we will hangout some time.  The first song performed was a song she wrote for Puff Daddy, P Diddy or whatever his current name is.  She had a fantastic voice, tons of tats, and yes great legs.

We stayed for 4 or 5 songs, grabbed some fun pictures, and text-taunted our friends the Wilbur’s who went for multiple days and did GA, while hosting one of their daughter, a nephew and other young friends (as mentioned, VIP access got us pretty close to the stage)

Next stop the Firefox stage to see Gang of Youths.  If you have been to a music festival, typically you will come across a band you do not know, know only one song, or maybe know a few and their performance far exceeds your expectations - You are now a fan!  In the past I have had that reaction to Coleman Hell, New Politics, Odesza – this year it was Gang of Youths, sorry for the bad pic, I have video, but not quite sure how to embed.  They were rockers from Australia, and the lead singer and guitarist looked like Jon Snow from Game of Thrones, so Suzy enjoyed them as well. Hmmmm… GoY vs GoT coincidence?  I think not.

I was also able to capture this image during GoY, of the GA crowd behind me and my cup of cabernet.  I almost felt sad for their existence. Then I took another sip of cabernet, enjoyed the music and all was forgotten.

We headed to the third of four stages to see the Teskey Bros, a blues band that Susan had become a fan of, but finally bumped into our friends Brian and Anne, pictured below drinking Frozés (yup rosé slushies) 

and then stopped nearby for a quick visit to the Silent Disco.  A huge dance floor where everyone is provided a set of headphones that are channeling 2 or 3 different DJs.  Pretty funny to watch a bunch of people dancing together but to different music. On a channel that I wasn’t on, Don’t Stop Believing, by Journey was playing.  Half of the audience/dancers were singing along and singing so loud that I couldn’t hear my headphones, it was time to go.

The Teskey brothers were good and we stayed for most of their set.  We then made our way back to the main stage, the acoustic lounge and the food and beverage area in time for the evening set.  This is where my funny wife stepped up.  After getting an unsatisfactory pour of bubbles while I was receiving an abundant one, she decided to watch me during my next order.  Again, I received above the line pours for both our drinks.  Susan screamed; you are flirting with the guy working the bar.  And then again yelled that I was flirting with the girl during our next stop. Obviously these days I don’t believe in gender labeling (thanks Megan for you guidance), so I just went about my business of flirting, I know right – I AM SO WOKE.  The entertainment ensued from there as Suzy started making friends with people who had arrived early enough for seats, or spaces at the rails or just looked fun. After hanging a while with Suz, they would then offer their spaces to her as they left – by the end of the day we each had a role… Flirty WOKE Guy and Friendly “Who’s Your Buddy” Girl a match made in rock and roll festival heaven

Evening set: First up was Michael Franti and Spearhead.  Seems like he performs every year at Bottlerock, and I’m not sure anyone has a better time doing so.  We were near the stage, but when Michael Franti performs, that means you only get to see him up close for half the time.  He is a bare foot performer who likes to wander out and sing in the crowd, and he does it well. This was the first performance we stayed at for the entire set.

It was nearly 8:30 now and our backs and legs were nearly spent, but the headliner “Mumford and Sons” took the stage.  I’m a big fan of their music but was still surprised and awed by their performance. It was a bit harder than I expected, and they performed with so much energy it was great.  I will find a way to see them again, probably multiple times.

It was a long day, and I was sore for a few days after standing and dancing for nearly ten hours. I’m am not interested in attending other festivals like Coachella, likely because they are not in Wine Country. I know snobbery right?

One insight I would like to share. If you are attending something like this and using a bankcard for drinks, check ahead of time with your bank, as we found out the hard way, that it looks suspicious if you make a bunch of small purchases in a day (food and drinks), in another state. The bank can and will freeze your card until the next day, or until you call them. The good news or easy solution is to carry cash or a second card.  Learn from our mistakes.  

[monster-ronpa]

DR1 boys meeting their s/o for the first time (they’re in a long distance relationship) and finding out they’re actually a monster? (you can choose which monster)

Interesting! I’ll try my best on this then!

Also, as I am going to write a second part, I would like to know if you’d like Hifumi excluded–I was planning to exclude him anyways but, I just always want to make sure. Just in case.

~Mod Rachnera

My Partner is Actually a Monster (DR1 Boys and their Monster!S/O, meeting after being in a long-distance relationship: Part 1)

Makoto Naegi(Kobold)

Makoto met you on a forum website. It was a discussion website for things based around Hope’s Peak, before he was enrolled in it.

While other forum users were usually pretty bland and typically acted kinda normal, you were oddly…enthusiastic.

As enthusiastic as he could tell from the internet, anyway.

Something about your enthusiasm and general way of “speaking” charmed him about you.

One day, you actually PM’d him through the messaging system–it was really random, but you had explained for him in the first message:

“i was really bored and no ones on rn except u! so do u wanna chat?” “Uh..sure, okay.”

Who knew you’d hit it off so well you two began dating? Dating online anyway. It was a long-distance thing.

It went on for a good year and a half, you two’s relationship. But throughout the whole time, you never sent him a picture or a video of yourself ever! You said that you wanted to make the first actual meeting very special.

Makoto was nervous about what that meant, and he started to worry that once you met him, things would go wrong–but at the same time, he tried keeping his hopes up.

It was in December, and you had saved up enough to come down to his place! So here he was, waiting at the airport for you. Looking at the last text you sent that you were leaving, he was anxious…

“Makoto!” the voice suddenly called out to him and he gasped a bit, turning in its direction to find..

A dog-like monster person running towards him, waving happily.

“….who..?” “Huh? Oh, you don’t recognize my voice?”

……wait.

“S/O?!” you were a monster? You laughed nervously at his slight surprise, rubbing your hand against your arm awkwardly.

“There’s–nothing wrong with that, right?” oh crap he said it, “W-Wha? Oh! N-No, not at all! I just–I dunno, it momentarily surprised me. But, I-I don’t mind.”

After getting over that slight shock, he smiled, walking to you and taking your hand, which was definitely a new feeling for both of you, your faces said it all. 

The thin but prominent layer of fur covering your body was coarse but still–it was warm. You were warm. Your hands were twice as big as his and even had paw-pad-like padding on them, but…something about them was..nice.

Your enthusiasm was still there, your tail was wagging furiously as you held hands with him, making your way out of the airport while catching up with him about your days.

Makoto, while having to get a bit used to your species’ mannerisms in reality as opposed to online, didn’t mind you being a monster at all. He cherished your relationship heavily.

Byakuya Togami(Yuki-onna/Snow Person)

Byakuya never was one to really actively search for and uphold a relationship as long as he ended up doing with you. Never did he think he’d meet someone who he’d end up sharing a bed with, sharing meals with…it was so unnatural.

The way it happened was pretty unlike him too.

Yasuhiro and Aoi set him up on a dating website. That’s how you met.

While he was very opposed to the idea and got upset with them over their interfering in his love life, the deed was already done and he’d already gotten a few messaging requests. 

Most of which he denied of course, as most of them were commenting on his appearance, were bad pickup lines, or porn bots. But there was one that caught his eye. It was yours.

“I was forced to talk on this unusual site per request of my friend–do you want to spare a few minutes to talk? If not, that is perfectly understandable.”

He checked out your profile for a quick “review” and found that unlike most others, this profile was like his–simple, to the point, and you didn’t seem very gaudy.

….well, this is rather civilized and forward for a site like this. So, he decided, since they’d probably bother him about it anyway, he’d give them the benefit of the doubt and have ONE conversation with you.

One conversation turned into two, now he’s adding you into his social media, now he’s got your phone number–well, long story short, you’re dating.

But, Byakuya was new to relationships and…well, he felt uncomfortable holding out like this for so long. He wanted to make sure you were truly someone he could respect.

Someone he could maybe….trust, more. He already felt that there were a few small connections there but he needed more reassurance that you were worth staying around rather than just a few “I love you”s on a text screen.

So one day he called you and told you to get ready and head to the airport. When you asked “what for?” in that strangely calming, smooth voice of yours..

“I’m coming over there to see you.”

And sure enough, he did. Waiting at one of the Togami Residences in (insert country) for you, he put on the coat he had brought with him, as it had gotten chilly all of a sudden. Calling you, he sounded mildly impatient.

“Where are you? I’m here. I texted you the address.” “I am right here.” pausing, he turns to see you.

And you were…absolutely bewitching. Come to think of it, he’d never asked for a picture or video or anything–he wasn’t the type to do that.

Staring at you, he blinked out of his trance, as you stood there, dressed nicely despite the snow. Wasn’t it November??

“….are you..” “S/O. Yes.” “….and…you’re a yuki-onna/snow person..?” “Is that bad?”

Well, Byakuya wouldn’t admit it to your face, but he’d grown a soft spot for you during the time you’ve been dating. The cold wasn’t the only reason he blushed as he turned away.

“….no, it’s fine. Your species isn’t really a defining factor in our relationship anyway.” “I see….that makes me happy to hear it, from you, in person. To–to see…you, in person.” you gave him a small smile.

“…..to be honest, I’m glad to see you here in person, too.” he admits.

Leon Kuwata(Mermaid)

Leon first “encountered” you when you were sharing some song covers of yours on Youtube. Although you were the type of cover channel to use game or video footage of the source of the song you were covering, the sound of your voice was just so pleasant and you seemed like such a cool person in Q&A videos and all.

Your personality was really cute, and while the more “thirsty teenage boy” side of him kicked in when he saw your face reveal. He couldn’t help but eventually make a move.

Anxiety revving as he sent a PM to you through your Discord server, he was extremely nervous (even if now he won’t admit he was) when he saw you were typing, only to get the most adorable reply back.

“Hello! I’m glad you like my stuff! ^_^”

And it went from there.

While Leon started off the whole “romance” thing by being kinda flirty and not really too into the idea of falling in love, he ended up falling head over heels for you.

You really were as nice as you seemed to be in your videos–well, I mean, it could’ve been fake, but he was glad that in the end it wasn’t.

You were polite, and adorable, and humble–he wasn’t really any of those things in his mind, but you accepted him for the slightly cheesy, rowdy, regular guy he was.

Leon even started trying to sing with you! Discord wasn’t always the best for duets, but, when the connection was okay, he tried singing songs to you or even with you! Your voices harmonized well when he wasn’t voice-cracking from nervousness.

Eventually you said you were making plans to come down there and see him, and Leon sure as heck was excited for that. It seemed your family was getting enough money, and with the help of your channel (which was a struggle, believe me) you eventually got enough to come down and see him!

He met up with you in the park, as he thought that’d be both the most romantic first place to meet–cuz of the fountain, and you loved the outdoors.

Leon was waiting underneath a tree, a picnic set up as he saw someone coming over. In a wheelchair?

Looking up–it was you! “Hello, Leon!” you greeted him with a kind smile and he returned it with an awkward, pink-faced smile of his own.

You both talked and ate under the tree, before you decided to go ahead and slip from the chair. Leon was a bit hesitant, asking you multiple times if you needed help standing before you blinked.

“O-OH, uhm, Leon–I-I am a Mermaid. I have no legs,” as evidenced by when you slipped onto the ground, revealing a large, brightly colored tail.

Leon stared for a bit, before having a moment of realization. Oh. “….oh, uh, alright! That’s cool, S/O!” and realizing also in that moment that he didn’t really care that much. You were still his partner, human or not.

You looked surprised that he took it so well, since he’s never saw you until today and he shrugged.

“Well, for one, you’re S/O, two, I love you, three, you’re cute either way! I mean, look at these little fin-ears you got!” “Ah! Don’t touch them, they’re ticklish!” “Gives me more reason to try!” “Leon, noooo!”

Mondo Oowada(Killer Bee)

Mondo actually kinda forgot when he was introduced to you–he’s pretty sure it was a group chat kinda thing where one of his friends knew one of yours, something like that.

You were honestly pretty chill, in the group voice calls you guys participated in. You were sarcastic, kinda aggressive sometimes, but most of the time, he got along with ya well.

Mondo never really personally chatted with you til one time you two ended up being the only ones really actively chatting on a weekday–everyone else was offline or too busy to step aside and say hi.

To avoid clogging the main chat, you two headed for PMs and…well, hit it off, I guess.

The two of you bonded a lot, and eventually a month passed and you two started an online relationship.

Everyone in the group chat knew it, so it was no secret among you and your friends. Some of them even teased you guys about it, it was great.

One day though you called him and insisted on him coming down there–or you going up there, either way.

Eventually he settled on coming down there to see you–he hasn’t been outta the country much and he wanted to know what your place was like. Plus, some anxiety about you coming down here and getting hurt by a rival gang who just happened to learn about you was creeping into his mind by the minute when he thought about that, so he felt better going over there–you know, where gangs might not be as prevalent.

When he and a few friends (coughs obviously Chihiro and Ishimaru) got enough money to come over, he made sure he was ready to meet you face to face–the one he may or may not have shared a few “in-call” kisses with which was really embarrassing but endearing to think about and oh look here come some people.

In the airport, the three of them met up with two others who…claimed to be friends of yours.

Well, they did sound like the two, and after Chihiro briefly quizzed them on a few group chat things to be sure, and sure enough, it was them!

Due to the cold weather, you stayed home, so they brought Mondo and the gang to the house! After going inside, one of them called for you.

There was a loud, slightly disconcerting buzzing coming down the hall until you–at least, he assumed it was you–showed up, blinking.

“Ah, here already?!” “Huh? Wait–S/O, is that you?” yes, it seemed that you were a Killer Bee. Mondo was….mildly shocked. But, then again, you did kind of have a cute little quirk where you’d draw out s’ and z’s when you talked.

You were….really good looking in a way. You grinned and flew over to Mondo, hugging him tightly, which, he returned after a bit of a pause.

The six of you caught up with each other, and though Mondo had to get over the last bit of surprise he had when he found out you were a Killer Bee, he had no problem with it.

Ishimaru and Chihiro, on the other hand, were mildly afraid of you due to hearing how aggressive Killer Bees could be sometimes. But, since you and Mondo were too busy eating each other’s faces and making goo-goo eyes at each other, they thought: if you were happy, they were too.

And, for sure, Mondo loved you a whole bunch.

[lil-scout-precure]

My thoughts about the JESC 2022 songs. Part 3:

(This will be in order of release of the videos at the official JESC YouTube channel)

🇵🇹 Nicolas Alves "Anos 70":

No, I'm not kidding with this "handmade" meme. Those were my expectatives about what would happen to the JESC rock song streak after most rock entries from past editions flopped in the voting results, including one of my favorites: "Specchio" from Elisabetta Lizza (Italy really wanted to do a double win at both ESC and JESC 2021...Too bad the JESC world was not prepared for a rock victory like it gloriously happened at the adults' ESC the same year, even considering Elisabetta is a Maneskin fan, the song sounded like a Junior version of Maneskin with 100% quality, and the lyrics themselves had potential ;m;). Like "screw it, they not gonna send more rock anymore..."

That is...Until Nicolas Alves from Portugal came in with "Anos 70" ("the 70's" in Portuguese), and my hopes were high again.

It's not the same hard and moving rhythm as "Zitti e Buoni" or "Specchio", but even for being a rock ballad, it has the spark! Nicolas' voice is 100% fitful for the song's genre, mostly the chorus, reminding me of an adult rock vocalist (ngl, his raspy voice at the chorus reminds me of a mini version of Damiano David, in a GOOD way). And the outfit, the light backgrounds and all. Style. Just... STYLE. Don't take me wrong, I loved Simão Oliveira's "O Rapaz" last year (for being 14 years old, his voice was LIT. No wonder why they chose him to represent Portugal at ESC 2021) and the calm vibes it gave (kinda like a mini Salvador Sobral regarding the song...The hair, well, Nicolas took it XD). But this...this is something of another level!

This is one of my "Top 5" favorites, indeed. I could say we have the JESC rock mark checked with this song. Grande, Nicolas!

🇬🇪 Mariam Bigvava "I Believe":

Not every JESC (or ESC) song against war has to be a ballad. A fact that Georgia, one of the powerhouses for Junior Eurovision and triple champion of said contest, took seriously as they revealed their song for this year's edition "I Believe".

Who was the genius behind the paper-themed props of the videoclip? No, I'm not joking or being sarcastic. I'm being serious 'cause I loved them, specially the well-made doves: Truly the peace message is clear with this one entry. And as I said before, not a ballad, it's a moving song that despite having some catchy melodies, keeps its tone and doesn't screw the lyrics' intentions. And Mariam's voice. Definetly, one of the most strongest and good vocals in this year's JESC. One of those songs in my list that, if it's not one of my true favorites, I could be glad if it wins the contest.

🇮🇪 Sophie Lennon "Solas":

Ireland had a decent luck during their JESC performances, not too low but not great compared to higher voting places. But this year's entry from them has something good for the contest, and not just a typical ballad despite its tone.

The 100% Irish lyrics of the song are so majestic. And Sophie's outfit: It reminds me of Merida from Brave (despite the fact said character is probably Scottish/Scandinavian) at the first part, but the GLOW UP at the finale: "Solas" means Light, and the videoclip's story could not be more accurate to its melody.

And the ESC fandom could not be more accurate saying that if their countries' adult ESC entries (for those who had a bit of a bad rap or lesser voted/known entries) could have the same quality of their JESC counterparts, they could have better places at the voting.

Like with Katarina and David, not the "greatest" of my favorites, but it could be a real doozy of a victory should Ireland get 1st place with such a good ballad.

🇮🇹 Chanel Dilecta "BLA BLA BLA":

*deep sigh*. I knew and prepared myself to accept the fact Italy was not gonna return with Elisabetta Lizza or a good rock equivalent for this year's JESC after the 10th place she got last year. But after watching a compilation of Italy's last entries at said contest, I got some good hopes as they got a champion (Vincenzo Cantiello with "Tu Primo Grande Amore" at 2014, their FIRST YEAR at the contest, like the JESC version of Gigliola Cinquetti with Il Volo) and some bangers of songs like "Viva" or "What is Love" (the closest thing to a Junior's "Brividi"). And considering that Italy at the adults' ESC had some AMAZING songs during their history, the revealed JESC 2022 songs and the current situation, I thought they could send one of two options:

A bopping pop catchy song that could rival "La Festa" and "Lose my Head" with Italian spirit.

A ballad or moving song about peace and/or the need to stop a nonsense war, like a Junior's "Non Mi Avete Fatto Niente" if being the second case or a "Fai Rumore" for the first one. Like Georgia and Kazakhstan's entries, but Italian.

The entry was revealed, with good news regarding Chanel Directa's talents. And well, it looked like they sent the first option, but not as I expected.

The song is pretty good itself, sung in Italian and at least making an effort to mix three messages: The planet has wonders we should not destroy. Live the moment and appreciate the small things. And sometimes we should stop the nonsense chatter and noise on our lives. And not gonna lie, Chanel's suit is unique. The "glass" head bowl being kinda like a multi-purpose element for the three messages: A noise blocker, a scuba helmet and a space gear.

But if we talk about rhythm. Well, I will be honest, they gotta make some good efforts to boost it for the live version a bit if they want to reach a wider public at the Finale against the previous pop "chosen ones" I talked about (and some of them being the JESC fandom's Top 3 candidates). Otherwise, I guarantee most people will be like:

And even if I got a bit dissapointed with this Italian entry, I'm honest with you: I appreciate the effort and talent Chanel (and Rai) is giving to this year's JESC. The song is catchy in some way, and it has good intentions. It would be best to expect them to have a good place (maybe a Top 10 would be good!) for the voting results, and I wish them the best.

As soon as Armenia releases its song, I gonna cover it! Keep the wait! ;D

[wildflowerrambles]

100 Questions

I was tagged by the lovely @super-strange-sons. Thanks so much, Chels! I adore you! <3

This is a long one so grab a snack. Probably quite a few things you didn’t know about me.

I’m tagging anyone who would like to do this! Tag me in it because I want to see. :)

1. What is your nickname? Sav or Vannah on occasion & Cubbie by my parents (gotta love ‘em).

2. How old are you? 23.

3. What is your birth month? December.

4. What is your zodiac sign? Sagitarius.

5. What is your favorite color? Lavender.

6. What’s your lucky number? Not particularly lucky but I like 4, 8, & 13.

7. Do you have any pets? Sadly, my cat died this morning. We do have another cat though.

8. Where are you from? Mississippi.

9. How tall are you? 5′3”.

10. What shoe size are you? 6 and a half.

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Probably 20+ - I love shoes.

12. Are you random? Absolutely.

13. Last person you texted? My mom.

14. Are you psychic in any way? Negative.

15. Last TV show watched? Grey’s Anatomy.

16. Favorite movie? Beauty & the Beast (the animated one).

17. Favourite show from your childhood? Franklin. Anything Disney Channel. Throwbacks like PB & J Otter, Roly Poly Oly, etc.

18. Do you want children? Possibly one day.

19. Do you want a church wedding? Not really. I would rather get married in a forest.

20. What is your religion? Christian!

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yes, for family.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? I got a ticket once for going under a yellow light that turned red. Does that count?

23. How is life? It has its ups and downs, but overall - much more positive than in the past. :)

24. Baths or showers? I typically shower, but I love a good bath.

25. What color socks are you wearing? Currently not wearing any.

26. Have you ever been famous? Not even kinda.

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? I think it would be so much fun to perform/play shows, but I like being able to do my own thing without being under a magnifying glass.

28. What type of music do you like? Rock, blues, indie, pop - just about anything with the exception of country.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Nope.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? I have three, but I really only use one for sleeping.

31. What position do you usually sleep in? Stomach or curled up on my side.

32. How big is your house? Along the smaller side of average..?

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Right now I’m stuck on oatmeal with peanut butter & honey.

34. Have you ever left the country? Nope.

35. Have you ever tried archery? Nope.

36. Do you like anyone? Not anyone who knows I exist, l o l

37. Favorite swear word? Y’know, I don’t really swear irl.

38. When do you fall asleep? As of lately, it’s been around 11 - 12.

39. Do you have any scars? Some tiny ones but nothing too noticeable.

40. Sexual orientation? Straight.

41. Are you a good liar? I would say so, hehe oops

42. What languages would you like to learn? I wanted to learn Korean, but I’m not really sure.

43. Top 10 songs? Oh gosh. This is always changing. Music is my passion. Anything Hozier, 5SOS, Shawn Mendes, Astrid S, Billie Eilish, so many more.

44. Do you like your country? It is what it is. I can’t complain too much haha.

45. Do you have friends from the web? Yes! They’re some of my very favorite people. <3

46. What is your personality type? I’m rather quiet and often seen as shy. I’m laid back and open about most things. Most people probably would say I’m nice and positive (or I hope).

47. Hogwarts House? I’m honestly not sure.

48. Can you curl your tongue? Yep.

49. Pick one fictional character you can relate to? My first thought was Jessica Day.

50. Left or right handed? Right.

51. Are you scared of spiders? Terrified.

52. Favorite food? I enjoy most foods.

53. Favorite foreign food? Tacos. But again, I eat most foods.

54. Are you a clean or messy person? Clean.

55. If you could switch your gender for a day, what would you do? Be a good ole boy & do what they do.

56. What color underwear? Pink & gray.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? Depends, but an average of 30 - 40 mins.

58. Do you have much of an ego? No.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Suck.

60. Do you talk to yourself? Don’t we all?

61. Do you sing to yourself? Yes. More often than not.

62. Are you a good singer? Yes…?

63. Biggest Fears? Spiders, heights, large bodies of water, the unknown.

65. Are you a grammar nazi? I can be.

66. Do you have long or short hair? Short!

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? I’d probably have to write them down, but I could do it.

68. Favorite school subject? I think I was best at English and math. I enjoyed psychology in college.

69. Extrovert or Introvert? Introvert.

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? Nope.

71. What makes you nervous? New opportunities, especially if I don’t know what to expect.

72. Are you scared of the dark? I certainly don’t enjoy it.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Depends - sometimes.

74. Are you ticklish? Yep.

75. Have you ever started a rumor? Not intentionally.

76. Have you ever been out of your home country? Nope.

77. Have you ever drank underage? Nope.

78. Have you ever done drugs? I tried weed once, if that counts.

79. What do you fantasize about? I feel my tumblr speaks for itself, especially my personal one.

80. How many piercings do you have? 4 in my ears, and I had my cartilage pierced but the hole closed.

81. Can you roll your R’s? I can.

82. How fast can you type? Reasonably fast.

83. How fast can you run? I don’t enjoy running & will only do it if something is after me.

84. What color is your hair? Brown/reddish.

85. What color are your eyes? Blue.

86. What are you allergic to? Nothing that I’m aware of.

87. Do you keep a journal? Eh, no.

88. Are you depressed about anything? Depression has been a struggle for me, but I always try to stay positive. :)

89. Do you like your age? Sure, why not.

90. What makes you angry? It takes a good bit to get me fired up, so I can’t really think of anything particular off the top of my head.

91. Do you like your own name? Sure, why not.

92. Did you ever get a foreign object up your nose? Not that I know of, but who knows what I did as a child.

93. Do you want a boy or a girl for a child? I would like one of each - no particular order.

94. What talents do you have? Singing, dancing, a few enjoy what I write. I’m pretty creative & “good” at several things, but not really outstanding at anything.

95. Sun or moon? Both.

96. How did you get your name? My parents liked it. Not sure there’s really any story behind it.

97. Are you religious? I am.

98. Have you ever been to a therapist? Currently no, but it’s something I’ve looked into a good bit lately.

99. Color of your bedspread? Pale yellow.

100. Color of your room? Beige.

[this-is-for-the-record-blog]

Pearl Jam - Riot Act - Album Review

Riot Act is the seventh record from the alternative rock band and is the first Pearl Jam record I purchased upon release in 2002. It was a few months after the albums release that I saw the band live for the first time, my first major concert. The concert was at the Irvine Medows Amphitheater, the last time the band would play the beautiful outdoor venue and is a venue that sadly was just recently torn down. Riot Act contained the bands most politically driven work and offered a very gloomy and angsty sound. After the release of Binaural the band had played the Roskilde Festival, where nine Pearl Jam fans were trampled to death and 30 others injured during the bands rainy, muddy set. This led to the band questioning continuation as a band and ultimately became the factor for why they quit playing festivals for the next 7 years. Seemed everything the band did from then on had more purpose and meaning especially when it came to social and political issues. Also, republican governor of Texas George W. Bush would be elected for president of the United States who manipulated the country into a war in the middle east after the tragic events that took place in New York on September 11 2001 and finally Dee Dee Ramone, bassis for the Ramones and Layne Staley singer of Alice in Chains and Mad Season both died in 2002 of an overdose to heroin. All of this played a role in the writing and production on Riot Act. The record would mark the first album produced by Adam Kasper, producer for Soundgarden and is also the first record with organist Boom Gasper who gets a big spotlight on the tracks “Love Boat Captain” and “I Am Mine” and was the last record with major label Epic Records.

With the band out of the spotlight completely now and many of the 90s bands disbanded the genres of new metal (Slipknot, Korn, Disturbed, System of a Down, Deftones) emo/pop punk (AFI, Green Day, Taking Back Sunday, My Chemical Romance, The Used) and post grunge (3 Doors Down, Staind, Puddle of Mudd, Seether, Creed, Nickleback) were dominating the radio. Pearl Jam didnt seem to fit the mold anywhere and nor did they want to, but after some time staying away from music videos on MTV, a silence they broke with the release of Yield in 1998, the band made a pretty big return offering 4 music videos from Riot Act that actually featured the band members and this time produced in a similar fashion as the record live raw and seemingly uncut. The videos feature the band paying the respected song live in a room and even the audio was captured in live form rather than the typical conceptual lip sync video you normally see. Pearl Jam would also partake in published interviews for the first time in 10 years with the release of this record. Some background behind the records concept, the name Riot Act comes from an English statute of 1715 which provided that if 12 or more persons assemble unlawfully and riotously, to the disturbance of the public peace, and refuse to disperse upon proclamation would be considered guilty of a felony. Being a very political record that stands against the President and the current policies, in a very tumultuous way, the records title would have likely been named after this Act, however an act that was implemented here domestically in the United States after 9/11 was the Patriot Act an Act of Congress that was signed into law by President George W. Bush. With its ten-letter abbreviation (USA PATRIOT) expanded, the full title is “Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism”. The Act led to a lot of racial profiling and seemed to legally allow the FBI to wrongfully accuse individuals based on these racial profiles, which went against the 14th amendment in the US Constitution. The band may be calling this Act that president Bush signed as riotous or the patRIOT ACT. Either way the band is rioting in protest against the government on this record and for good reason. The records cover art was an artistic photo taken by Jeff Ament which features two skeletons wearing crowns appearing to be a king and prince. Two monarchs who lie dead smoldering in a tomb. A kingdom now just dusted ruins of what was. Based on the records themes Its safe to assume this fallen kingdom depicted had crumbled due to the greed, corruption and deception of its leadership and that tge skeletons may represent presidents Bush senior and Bush Jr.

Like the last couple records from the band each member brought songs to the table and collaboratively contributed to the writing process. The songs again here are more structured like their previous two records. Many times in the past, despite a couple records in the mid 90s, the band would redo parts over again when they feel mistakes were made in the recording of the songs or when they feel they could perform better with a second or third take, with this record many times the band would do one take and not overthink it. The record has a live soundscape and went through very little editing in the production department and written last minute and recorded in a very natural way, much like the bands No Code and Vitalogy records. If errors were made they were left in and would be apart of the final cut. Much of this record experiments with many sounds and styles like folk rock, and art rock. After the turn of the century organ and keyboards were a big instrument in music especially in the alternative rock genre. Bringing Boom Gasper into the band and incorporating him on their old songs in the live setting really opened the band to a much more dynamic sound and new styles. The guitars on the record are very textured. At times Mike McCreadys guitar tremolo effect mimics a Hammond Organ’s Leslie rotary speaker. Other times is soaked in tube driven distortion, delay and reverb. McCready and Stone Gossard really seems to be channeling guitarists Jimi Hendrix, John Fogerty,  Larry Parypa, Joe Strummer, Pete Townshend, Johnny Marr and Jimmy Page.

Riot Act opens up with “Cant Keep” a song that reminds me of Led Zeppelin’s “Poor Tom” with its rumbling drum beat and triad of guitars, slowly building with a gloomy, melodic, atmosphere like an impending storm. The song was originally written on ukulele by Eddie Vedder, but then transposed into the full band version. Many of the songs on Riot Act feature alternate tunnings like on the experimental and rhythmically unique love song “You Are” written by drummer Matt Cameron. The track features a guitar played through a drum machine giving a sound similar to The Smith’s “How Soon Is Now”, “All or None” a bittersweet, somber and folky tune and the dark and moody spoken word of “Bu$hleaguer” all feature varied tunnings. A few of the songs have a live, warm and acoustic rich ambiance to them like the tracks “I Am Mine”, “Bu$hleaguer”, “Cant Keep”, “All or None” and “Thumbing My Way” a song played by Jeff Ament on the upright bass. The track “Save You”, the fuzzy and grungy Mudhoney inspired “Ghost” and “Get Right”, and the blues stomping, bar rocking “1/2 Full” are some of the heavier tracks on the album; in fact “Save You” got so intense in the studio during the recording of the song, drummer Matt Cameron lost his headphones. He was able to finish the recording of the song by watching bassist Jeff Ament’s fingers as he played the bass. Cameron said “It was me watching Jeff’s fingers and hoping I was in time, you know? There’s a breakdown of just me and Jeff. I hit a cymbal, moved my head, and the headphones went flying.”  These songs capture a very Vitalogy era Pearl Jam while the song “Green Disease” has a drum driven pacing that reminds a bit of “Reviewmirror” from VS. and “Cropduster” is a midtempo rocker that contains a pounding tambourine and has a riff and rhythm very similar to Skid Rows “Into Another”, a band that also just so happens to have a song called “Riot Act”. Experimentation with vocals and harmony is more present this time around like on the tracks “Help Help”, and “Bu$hleaguer” as well as the track “Arc” is an experimental track that features layers of Eddies vocal harmony and is a tribute to those who died at Roskilde. Eddie’s vocals for the most part on this record are very subdued and laid back. Hes very much the mumbler hes always been but a bit more calm and centered even on the more energetic songs a sound and vocal style very similar to The Boss Bruce Springsteen especially on one of Eddie Vedders first acoustic written songs, “Thumbing My Way”.

Lyrically, much of the records messages revolve around love, loss and the struggle to stay positive after mournful events such as the September 11 attacks and the accidental death of nine fans during Pearl Jam’s performance at the 2000 Roskilde Festival, with a big emphasis on the theme of love and seeking positive leadership. The track “Love Boat Captain” a song that promotes love as an answer in a time of anger, grief and mourning and mentions those 9 fans who died when Vedder sings “Lost nine friends we’ll never know… two years ago today”. The song “Ghost” is about TV adds and their manipulative agenda and expresses how true love never fails. Vedder said “Love is one resource that the corporations aren’t going to be able to monopolize.” Empirical tracks like these as well as “Cropduster” a song about a self centered egoist, addresses the idea of Darwinism v Creationism and the optimistically determined and inner spirited waltzing “I Am Mine” were born from tragedy and in response to political angst and personal struggles. The words “We’re safe tonight” in “I Am Mine” are a reminder that the band and their audience or America in general will make it through ok, a hopeful notion in response to the Roskilde tragedy and 9/11. Also in the song Eddie writes “And the meaning it gets left behind. All the innocents lost at one time.” could refer to either Roskilde or 9/11. Eddie said “There’s been a lot of mortality…It’s a weird time to be writing. Roskilde changed the shape of us as people, and our filter for seeing the world changed.” Themes of exile, war, peace, friendship, past, greed, politics, changes and love as higher salvation, similar subjects found on their previous record Binaural but are presented with a bit more explicitness and passion here. “You start feeling like, ‘What do I have to say? What is my opinion?’ Then I realized I did have an opinion. Not only did I have one, but I felt like it was formed by processing a lot of information and having good influences.” Vedder said. Bassist Jeff Ament also added “I think the time’s right to turn our voice up a bit… And Ed did it in a great way, with humor and a mystical, magical approach. It isn’t just, ‘We’re pissed off, and fuck you! Riot! Anarchy!’ Cos I don’t think that’s the method. At least at this point.”

Many of the lyrics on Riot Act Eddie wrote last minute before recording and were written raw on a typewriter. Eddies lyrics can be seen in their typewriter form errors and all in the bands liner notes. Riot Act is Pearl Jam’s most politically direct and forward record up to its point. Its a record of protest and at times seems to attempt to change society for the better with songs like “Green Disease”, “Bu$hleaguer” and “1/2 Full,” being politically driven songs about a world lead by disconnected politicians and business men, and point out social classes, big corporate CEO business profits, the destruction of capitalism and President George W Bush’s influence on the country at the time. Vedder said, “I have to admit this record came out a bit one-sided, but I think we as a country need to understand why we’re involved in the Middle East. This hollow patriotism frightens me.” Singer Eddie Vedder said that Riot Act‘s lyrics “represent my state of mind these days. I’m optimistic yet disillusioned, hopeful yet frustrated.” “1/2 Full” reprises some lyrics and themes from their song “Porch” when Eddie sings “There’s ain’t gonna be/No middle anymore/It’s been said before.” The track “Save You” is an angry track that expresses the frustration of watching some one you care about waste their life away. The song may reflect the struggles with drug addictions that led to the fatal overdoses of Dee Dee Ramone, Layne Staley and John Entwistle in 2002. Eddie commented on the song that “One thing I’ve learned about addiction in the last few years is that having seen other folk go through it, and really not having done that, with heroin which can grip you that intensely. I didn’t have a complete understanding and a lot of times it was easy to come to the conclusion that you place blame on the person or accuse them of weakness or ask, “Why couldn’t Kurt [Cobain] keep it together?” There was always that in the back of your mind.” The song “Thumbing My Way” is a song about walking wounded with a broken heart but has hope for something positive down the road. Sometimes you hope for anything to come along and pick you up when you are down.

Finally Riot Act is one of my favorite Pearl Jam records, definitely in my top 5 and maybe from a bias stand point, but i truly think the band was very driven and inspired in a very deep way at the time even if it was being channeled from some dark places, a spark had ignited in the band. Where Eddie faced severe writers block on Binaural, Riot Act came at the perfect time when Eddie had a lot to say because he had a lot he was feeling. I love the diversity on Riot Act from experimentation to the rich folky art rock tunes to angsty moody garage rock vibe. It brings to mind an older more angry Pearl Jam. The record is like Vitalogy meets Yield. The angsty rebellion of Vitalogy meets the maturity and melodic drive of Yield. Its a record with determination for hope, love and positivity during a bleak and hopeless time. With the heavy collaboration in song writing on Riot Act, many songs were cut from the record. Songs like the Social Distortion inspired “Down”, as well as the folky Neil Young meets Phil Ochs “Last Soldier”, “Undone”, “Other Side”, and “4/20/02” a song written in tribute to Alice In Chains lead singer Layne Staley after his tragic heroin overdose. The date reflects the day Eddie Vedder had heard the news of the singers death. A spoken word song “Im Still Here” similar to “Im Open” sounds like it may have been more of the story behind Black or his recent divorce with ex wife Beth. Their cover of Sonics’ “Dont Believe In Christmas was recorded at this time too. If you like Temple of the Dog, Mad Season, The Rockfords, Soundgarden, Skin Yard, Brad, Wellwater Conspiracy, Hater, Candlebox, Three Fish, Mother Love Bone, Neil Young, Our Lady Peace, 3 Doors Down, Pete Yorn, The Doors, The Who, The Walkabouts, The Wallflowers, Queens of the Stone Age, Foo Fighters, Stone Temple Pilots, Seether, Green River, Mudhoney, Seven Mary Three, Credence Clearwater Revival, Skid Row, Electronic, Sleater Kinney, Bruce Springsteen, The Clash, Led Zeppelin, or John Lennon you will love this record. If you voted for Bush youll probably hate it. My favorite songs are “Love Boat Captain”, “I Am Mine”, “Thumbing My Way”, “You Are”, “1/2 Full”, and “All or None”.

[hillbillyhippiemusicreview]

Post #51–Lance Dubroc, Sunny Days

Do you ever feel like a part of you is missing something? Like something you’ve never known before but you just know you need? That’s exactly how I felt when I first heard Lance Dubroc’s melodic voice on a song he and a good friend of mine co-wrote—I’d never before heard it, yet it was exactly the soul food I had been craving. When my friend played me the song, I instantly told him I had to hear more and to have Dubroc contact me so I could review his record and share it with all my readers, because it’s simply that delicious. So, y’all forget Mama’s collards, cornbread, and black-eyed peas on a beautiful Sunday and dig into Sunny Days for a little nourishment that’ll fill ya right up, every day of the week!

My tastes in music are as eclectic as I am, as are the artists I review for this blog. Dubroc possesses a sound similar to, yet simultaneously so unlike anything I tend to listen to in my regular rotation. He hails from Louisiana, and that soulful bayou flavor the region is known for can be heard sprinkled throughout every note on the record. At the same time, every bit of influence and grandeur held by the infamous Muscle Shoals infiltrates his music, too. It’s a fabulous mix of all of DuBroc’s musical influences, from soul and R&B with a dash of country and rock, to sounds reflecting his roots from the Cajun and Creole areas he was raised in. And that voice—with notes of everything mentioned prior slathered with copious amounts of gospel, Dubroc will take ya to the church grounds with that soul food he’s feeding you. Being a writer and songwriter, I’m much more of a wordsmith than a musician. So, I enjoy dissecting each piece for its lyrical meaning more so than reflecting on each instrument utilized in production. However, on this record, there’s not a deep meaning that has to be discerned—it’s light, easy, and every bit of feel good that it sounds like. Dubroc lays each tune out for listeners in a way that lends to easily connecting with the lyrics whilst getting lost in the dreamy music. By nature I like to drown myself in the sad songs, but I can totally vibe with this and bask in the love-filled sunshine of Sunny Days all of my days. So, let’s get to the songs, shall we?

The record begins with the first single released, “I Don’t Want to Lose You, Anna.” It’s a soulful R&B number about a man who can’t fathom losing his woman. He was lost until he found her, and home simply wouldn’t be the same without her love. Although Dubroc’s writing here doesn’t contain extreme depth and require intense thought, he is skilled in the art of lyrical portraiture, rendering quite the vivid image with phrases like “Barefooted in your cotton dress, Cajun moonshine silhouette, I can smell magnolia in your hair, I fell in love right then and there.” I can mentally insert myself into the moment he’s singing about and I fell in absolute love myself. And when he starts singing in another language? S W O O N. Dubroc possesses such a beautiful voice already, but that left me longing for more! ‘Tis quite the romantic tune, and a solid first single.

Still on the topic of love, the second track, “Small Town Talk,” focuses on the notion of the rumor mill interfering with a budding relationship. I was particularly drawn to this song due to the stark truth in its lyrics paired with a bit of an upbeat number. It describes the typical cyclical method of negative talk in small towns, circles, industries or any situation where lives overlap and its effect on people’s livelihoods. People may claim to mean well, such as with the southern statute “Bless your heart,” when in reality, they’re out to bring someone down. Whether due to jealousy or boredom, most just simply cannot stand to see others doing things they wish to do. So, they talk. And talk. And talk. Often so without realizing it it’s them, the gossipers, who are sinking in contrite conversations doing more damage to themselves than the ones whose character they try to diminish. If you’re struggling with situations such as those, pay attention when Dubroc sings “We’re only two people trying to live together, Trying to make something work, Who are we to judge one another, That can cause a lot of hurt.” In other words, don’t let small minded sentiments ruin something amazing in the making—whatever that may be in your life.

Continuing to sing of love, albeit in a much less merry way, Dubroc comes in strong with a heavy dose of longing and heartache with “She Sure Felt Good Last Night.” Based on the title, it doesn’t take much effort to surmise what the tune is about. Featuring the quintessential tale of the late night drunken phone call between former lovers, Dubroc relays the story of a man hoping he can change the mind of the woman on his doorstep because “she got to thinking about the only thing [he] ever did right.” Ah, a tale as old as time. It’s hard to let go of endeavors of the heart and someone is always left hanging on a very thin thread of hope, leaving the lines of goodbye quite murky. The song is very descriptive giving the subject matter the perfect sexy air it needs to sabotage your feelings, whether you relate more to the male or female character, or both interchangeably. Dubroc is certainly a master of his art form.

That mastery is quite apparent in “Mary Jo Brown.” In a way, it continues the thematic presence of love woven throughout the record; however, the song focuses more on self-love after years of Mary losing herself to a man blind to her misery. She stayed, perhaps because she felt it was the right thing to do or that she had no choice. Until the day that she realized she did in fact have a choice and left nothing but a long-overdue goodbye note with her husband’s coffee. When I listened, I felt as if Dubroc was singing my story, though fortunately I saved myself long before the timeframe Mary liberates herself in. Music that you can relate to—that’s what it’s all about. By this point in my dissection of the record, I have truly become fascinated at times with the way Dubroc at times utilizes the English language in his songwriting, and the chorus is exemplary of that. “The manifestation and liberation of Mary Jo Brown.” What a line! And so full of truth—it takes time and strength to manifest your freedom from the binds that tie you.

Dubroc reverts back to happier times down the rivers of love, with “I Do” and “I Can’t Wait.” In “I Do,” Dubroc is singing about a man longing for love—to fall deeply in it and live everyday loving the same person, which is quite the concept for a world that no longer appears to value relationships and marriage. It touched a forlorn part in my heart that one day hopes to find that for myself. Those feelings that “I Do” conjures up blend perfectly into the context of “I Can’t Wait,” which is the first song I heard by Dubroc, when my friend played it for me. It was the one that impressed and hooked me, well before I even knew what other magic I’d hear on the record. When I think of soul, R&B, and the Muscle Shoals sound, I think of smooth, sexy, romantic music—i.e. my favorite Alabamian who ever opened his mouth and blessed the world with his vocal chords, Anderson East. Dubroc channels those kind of vibes on “I Can’t Wait.” It’s a love song detailing just how much the man loves this woman he never expected to find, and is so descriptive it gave me heart palpitations, putting me in the mood—as in the mood to find a fella I can say “I Do” to and croon the words “I’m gonna take my time making up for all the time I spent without you.” I don’t know what it is about his music, but he may just be melting this tin-woman’s heart a bit with each listen. Perhaps this record needs a warning label: “If you’re running from love, listen with caution!”

The title track, “Sunny Days” is reminiscent of a place we’ve all been in the throes of a relationship, or life in general. Dubroc bemoans all the rainy, dark days that feel as if a flood of tears have washed some of the love away. I adore the hopeful air this song. With the addition of the intermittent whistling, it brings forth a reminder that things won’t always be this blue, and the sunlight is ever shining through the darkness. It’s a reminder we all need to take to heart in these uncertain times. There is light at the end of the tunnel—and it begins with you devouring this record. It’s soul food, remember? For me, it was like some unusual concoction of food added to my typical palate that I was so glad I discovered and joyfully stuffed myself with. I hope y’all feel the same.

Be sure to give Dubroc a follow on Facebook and on Instagram at @lancedubroc to keep up with all of the happenings surrounding the release and show announcements. If you’re interested, the record can be purchased at http://muscleshoalsrecordings.com/shop/.

Side note—if you’re well versed in our scene here at HHMR and you take a close look at the cover art, you’ll feel right at home as one of Appalachia’s favorites, Abraham Partridge, designed the fabulous artwork.

I hope to see y’all down the road, windows down, blaring this record, while chasing some sunny days.

Oh, and don’t forget: ✌🏻💙🎶

—Lyssa

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*This is an independent review. The Hillbilly Hippie Music Review was not compensated for this review.

*The opinions expressed are solely that of the author(s).

*These images are not our, nor do we claim them in any way. They are copyrighted Lance Dubroc/Abraham Partridge.

[aupairadventures]

I’ll be Home for Christmas

Several weeks ago, on December 19, I returned to my hometown of Lenox, Massachusetts, USA to spend the holidays with my family. It would be the first time I had been in my hometown and seen my family and friends for the last four months, and I couldn’t have been more excited. I channeled my excitement (and nervousness, too) into planning obsessively for the trip; I made countless packing lists, packed, weighed my suitcase, unpacked, re-packed, repeated, studied maps of the Paris metro system, and went over my travel route until I had into committed to memory. I think by now I’ve established that I absolutely hate flying, right? So, it should come as no surprise that I was feeling quite anxious in the days before my trip. As my stomach felt sick and my chest felt tight, my mind raced with thoughts like, “What if I get lost in the Paris metro? What if I take the wrong line? What if I lose my passport? What if my wallet gets stolen? What if I don’t make it to the airport in time? What if I miss my flight?” I knew that the journey ahead of me would be long and probably stressful at times. I knew that to get from Nantes to Paris, and then from Paris to Boston would consist of driving to the bus stop, taking a bus, then taking a train, then taking the line 4 metro, then taking RER B, then taking an airport shuttle until I finally arrived at Terminal 1 of the Charles de Gaulle airport. After I arrived, I would have to check in, go through customs, go through security, find my gate, board my plane, and then take a 7-hour flight. Only after almost 24 hours of traveling would I finally land in Boston. On the night before I left Nantes, as my mind ran wild with all kinds of terrible potential scenarios, I eventually had to tell my anxiety that it needed to shut up and leave me alone, that I would be absolutely fine and that I am more than capable of succeeding. “I know you’re scared,” I said to myself, “But when you finally reach home, it will have all been worth it.”

The journey was certainly long, and at some moments, quite stressful. But guess what? I did it. I made from Nantes to Boston in one piece, and none of the awful scenarios my mind conjured up happened or even came close to happening. Some moments of the journey were even fun and enjoyable; I spent my train ride to Paris listening to music and writing in my travel journal, I had fun watching “Love, Actually” during my flight, and I met a really sweet woman at the airport, with whom I had a nice, long conversation while in the security line. (Some of the airport employees were on strike that day, so the wait to go through security was rather long…. France. Typical.)

The moment when my plane began its descent into Boston Logan International Airport is a moment that I’ll never forget. I remember looking out the window and seeing thousands of beautiful city lights shining in the nighttime darkness, as if to say, “Welcome home!” The site was so beautiful that my face couldn’t help breaking into a huge smile. It’s truly an incredible feeling to look outside of a plane window and see something familiar when the last months have been filled with so much newness and exploration of uncharted territory.

Walking into the airport and setting foot again on American soil was the weirdest, most wonderful feeling. It felt strange to see a huge American flag on the wall as I walked into Customs, rather than a French flag, which I become so used to seeing. It felt weird to see the airport signs written in English when I expected to see them written in French. I felt a bit out of place and disoriented, but simultaneously felt totally at home.

The most amazing moment, of course, was being greeted by family at the arrivals gate. It was such a special moment that will forever be in my memory. I remember so vividly walking into the arrivals gate and looking into the massive crowd of people. I search for the faces of my mother and sister, until I heard my mother’s voice ring through the airport chatter, as she called out my childhood nickname at the top of her lungs. I turned towards the sound and was met with the beaming faces of two of my favorite people in the entire world. Feeling so happy that I could have burst, I ran at a breakneck-pace towards my mom and sister, as they simultaneously ran towards me. When we reached each other, I practically threw myself into them and wrapped my arms around them, holding them tightly. The three of us enveloped each other in a fierce hug, laughing and shrieking and causing quite a scene. A similar phenomenon occurs whenever I was reunited with any other member of my family or one of my friends; lots of hugging and excited shrieking. After only seeing their faces on the screen of a laptop of hearing their voice through the speaker of my phone, to actually be able to hug my loved ones and speak with them in person was nothing short of miraculous.  I think I can safely say that this moment at the airport was one of the happiest moments of my life. As I write about this memory, I can’t help but be reminded of a very similar moment that took place four months ago; when I walked into the arrivals gate in the Nantes airport and meet my host family for the first time. I’m reminded of how magical and unforgettable that moment was, as well, and how happy I felt. Why is it two of my happiest memories have taken place in the arrivals gate of an airport?

(My favorite picture of my younger sister, Trinity, and I, taken on the night before I left for France back in August.) 

While I was only home for a little over a week, (which I came to discover is just too short an amount of time,) I had an amazing visit and made countless memories with my loved ones. I felt so happy and grateful to be able to spend time with my family and share the magic of the holiday season with them. I suddenly became aware of how special the things that I used to take for granted are; waking up in my old room, getting coffee with Mom at the café that I used to work at, or laughing at vines with my sister. Some of my favorite memories from my visit home are as follows; going out to dinner with my Grandmother at our favorite restaurant, eating breakfast and drinking smoothies with my Grandfather, cooking Christmas dinner with my mom and my aunt, watching Empire with my grandmother (our favorite show), Eating waffles with my family on Christmas morning, watching all three of John Mulaney’s Netflix Comedy specials in one night with my sister, going to my little brother’s basketball games, Christmas shopping with my Mom in Target in Marshalls (One of my only complaints about France is that neither of these stores exists!), spending the day in Northampton with my mom and sister, and visiting New York City with my sister and aunt. While this is a long list, these are just some examples of the many memories I made that week. Every moment at home, no matter how simple, felt like a miracle.

(An old photograph of my grandmother and I.) 

(An old photograph of my grandmother, aunt, mom, and I together.) 

(A family photo taken last summer, at my high school graduation from Miss Hall’s School.) 

(One of my favorite old photographs of my mom, aunt, and I.) 

(My sister and I in Rockefeller Center in New York City together, happy and full after eating lots of vegan cupcakes.) 

One night, my mom and I were driving home from Target, blasting music in her car,  and dancing and singing along to all of our old favorite songs. As we drove through the familiar streets of my hometown, the sights of all the houses lit up with millions of flashing, multi-colored Christmas decorations made me feel happy, nostalgic, and entirely at home. The route from Target to my house is one that I know like the back of my hand. During my lifetime, I’ve driven on these streets countless times; every pothole, bump, or twist and turn are dear to my heart. Along the way, we drove past my high school. My mom turned right and pulled into the driveway so that we could see the school up close. When I looked at my old school, glowing with warm yellow light from the inside out, I was hit with a wave of emotions. At that moment, so many old memories came flooding back to me. I was reminded of how much life I had lived in this town. This town was where I grew up, and this town has seen me through all of my many phases. This town has seen me in both my darkest and most joyous moments. In this place, I have made so many memories, both good and bad. In the halls of my high school, I grew from a shy, insecure fourteen-year-old girl into a bold, confident young woman. In the halls of that school, I both fell in love and had my heart broken for the first time. In this place, I have both cried a thousand tears and laughed until I could barely breathe. Like I said, so much life has been lived in this tiny little town. No wonder this place is so special to me. No wonder coming back made me so happy, and no wonder leaving it was so hard. No matter where in the world my body physically is, there’s a little piece of my heart that will forever remain in this town. If coming home last month taught me one thing, it’s that I wouldn’t be the person I am today with Lenox, Massachusetts.

(The Berkshires in wintertime is truly a magical sight.) 

On New Year’s Eve, after an incredible week spent with my family, my mom drove me to Boston for my late-night return flight to Paris. Before we went to the airport, we stopped at a little restaurant and got vegan pizza together. I tried to eat my pizza and slowly as possible; every moment that I delayed would be another moment that I could spend with my Mom, another moment I could spend in my home country. While I was looking forward to returning to France and was excited to arrive in Paris the next day, my heart felt heavy with the sadness of yet again leaving home. I felt so torn; On one hand, I was so excited to see my host family and friends in France. On the another, the thought of not seeing my family and hometown for the next six months broke my heart. I’ll be honest, as I said goodbye to my mom at the airport, I threw my arms around her and cried on her shoulder for quite a while.

As we said goodbye, I thought about how similar this moment felt to when we said goodbye four months ago. We were yet again standing in the same airport, in the same terminal, in the exact same spot. But as I reflected, I realized just how much has changed since August. I have grown so much and in so many different ways. When I left home back in August, I boarded my Paris-bound plane with so much excitement, of course, but also with so much anxiety and fear.  I felt so unsure of myself and of my ability to succeed. I worried, Could I really move far away from home, across an ocean, at 18 years old? Could I really live in a foreign country? Would I make friends, would I find my place? Would I really be brave enough to pull this off? On New Year’s Eve, as I hugged my Mom goodbye and boarded my plane, my emotions were very different from my emotions of four months ago. Four months later, I now know the answers to all of these questions. I have proven to myself that I indeed am brave enough and that I am capable of anything I put my mind to. I now know that I absolutely adore France, I have found an amazing group of friends here, and have truly found a home in a country half the world away from my birthplace. I’ve been so lucky to have expanded my family to include many people who I may not be related to by blood, but who are no less my family. I am greatly looking forward to all the adventures that the new year in France holds for me. I feel incredibly grateful for all that the past year brought into my life; 2018 was an amazing year filled with joy, discoveries, difficulties, and many lessons learned exploration and growth. In 2019, I can’t wait to see what happens next.  

(A photo of the path in front of our old house, taken last Autumn.) 

[rasanjanaheiseverything-blog]

Flash Back

So to start this all out, it was end of 2010. As usual, as my daily habit while staying bored at home I used to be a very good fan of Facebook. That was the only way for me to keep in touch with my friends since I raised under very strict typical Asian parents. I was so down after my first and foremost relationship with a medical student. I wonder how that useless one month relationship made my life so miserable and hopeless like I am the most unluckiest girl in this world.While he was  flirting and dating few girls I stayed inside my room and cried without eating. I had the only way of overcoming from that pain was staying whole day in surfing internet and chatting with friends on Facebook.I did not want to move on and have a boy friend. Only thing I wanted was to complete my studies and find a good job. I never thought that I would find my better half. Time passed by with tears on my face and some little smile on my face with friends. 

One day, one of my closest friend from my high school time, posted something funny and I started to comment on that. At the same time a friend of my friend, actually he was a strange person to me, started to comment on the same post. I felt he is a funny guy. I just clicked his name and went to his profile just to stalk around. For the first time in my Facebook life i clicked ADD AS A FRIEND button for a boy but I had no any feeling just empty but something inside me was keep telling me ADD HIM. So I did. Within few minutes he added me back. I just went through his profile and that was all and there was no any feeling towards him or his profile that time. Few hours passed by, I just got a message from  him saying HI!! .. It was the first HI which changed my whole life. I replied him back saying “Hey” Like we have been knowing each other since long time. Then after we chatted we talked everything, He asked about my studies, my school, where do I live, about my parents, my favorites and so many more things. And I told him about my story about the break up and that time he was also with a broken heart. So we shared our stories, we laughed about our sleepless nights because of our Exs. We used to talk each and everyday like very good friends.. we shared some stupid jokes, he told me about his crushes from Airline,sister’s friends, some random girls on his Facebook..The most funniest thing was about him was his motto.. He did not want to die as a Virgin. 

I did not have any picture of myself on my Facebook. One day I wanted to upload a picture as my profile. Some how I managed to take a picture from my old phone and edited and uploaded it to Facebook. That was the first day my new best friend got to see me. He was the first one who clicked the like button and sent a message asking whether its ME.. But within few hours I felt like its ugly and I deleted the image and uploaded random girl’s picture which I downloaded from google. We talked and talked. That time he lived in United Kingdom and he was an Engineering student. One day he brought me a request saying that he wants to talk with me. Actually he expected a friendly talk with me. Without any hesitation I agreed to his request and we had an only skype call. I was shy to turn on my video and he also refused to turn on his video. With the time difference, he called me early in the morning. I started to talk with him in my Pajamas and I stayed with my smelly Pajama till late evening for the first time in my life. That call was very interesting and I could not heard the clock ticking. That was the very first day I heard his cute voice. I found something very attractive in his voice and the way he talks. Hearing his voice made me happy. It was not LOVE but it was something very special. I told about him to my best friend and she wanted to add him also. so they added each other and they started to be very friendly also and our chats commenting posts started to be very interesting. I started to spend a lot more hours on Facebook. Everything started to be very interesting.

I found he has a very attractive skill and a talent. It is his singing capability.I found it as a WOW factor after seeing his few covers of some Sinhala, English and Hindi songs. I started to follow his Youtube channel. I started to listen his songs. I really liked his songs.As I told before he got to very friendly with my best friend, i found they are hiding something from me and both of them started to do something behind back but it was not misunderstanding feeling. It was like that boy has something for me. One day my best friend messaged and told me “GIRL ! HE LIKES YOU” , Actually it did not surprise me, Cause I already felt it from him. I have that attitude of showing up the Big attitude towards boys. I do not know from where it came. but I showed him a big attitude. I told him that I cannot fall in love since I am still thinking about my EX. i knew it sounds stupid, but I did not want to make my heart sad again. He was sad when I told him LETS STAY AS FRIENDS. He was down. To get my attraction he did most sweetest things any girl would love to see. He deactivated Facebook, other day he started to tell me that he is having fever and the next day he is having Chickenpox.. But I could not recognize if those things are true or false, because of that I started to Take care of him. My heart was keep telling please check  on him. He is alone in his hostel and no one is around. At least as a good friend of him I should take care of him. so I checked on him whenever I can. Time passed by with those cute dramas. One day he sent me a message it was a Enrique’s song “Somebody’s Me”. That really touched my heart. It made my heart so warm. That day I told myself “I LIKE HIM”. But my heart stopped me WAIT TILL HE COMES TO SRI LANKA. He wanted to meet me when he back to Sri Lanka during his vacation. I also wanted to see and meet him. That beautiful day came, That was a Saturday He came to see me in my class. My best friend also was there, during the lunch time he came outside of my class with a parcel. We were in the staircase. I was on top of two steps. Damn remembering that day makes my eyes full of tears. That was the very first day I got to see my WHOLE WORLD. He was very tall, handsome. his beautiful smile took my heart away. He was wearing a green color t shirt, denim trouser with a Canvas shoe pair. Very funky attractive. Since I was bit away from him he tried to get to closer to me. I was so damn shy and we did not talk that much. He gave me the parcel and went saying bye. I came back to my class with very happy mood. It was a CHOCOLATE PARCEL. yeye I love chocolate. But chocolate did not make me fall for him. I fell for his personality,  but the specially for who is he. It was the first day i realized YES I LIKE THAT GUY NOW SO MUCH. Although I did not want to tell him. I just kept my mouth shut. Those were the days That friend who is from my high school time, he asked me out and he straightly wanted to talk my parents. Though he was my school time crush, I have already fell for my singer. on 2011 June 19th in the night i told him that “I LOVE YOU SO MUCH PRATHAP” Both were so happy and that was the day MY life started to get so happy after long time and never knew I will be in this current situation. only thing I wanted was to love him madly and marry him one day. Our love went so happy. In the next week we met during my lunch time. He took me out. We parked the vehicle under a tree and we talked and talked. I was so happy. I found him as very attractive.I was with him in the front seat, I felt he is trying to close me and I also tried to close. It was my first kiss for my 21 years. He kissed me :D it was gentle but funny. I did not how to kiss actually. Later he used to joke around me saying how worst my first kiss was. But the most funniest part was while he was kissing me Police caught us. that time we both got deadly scared and I was about to cry. but later it was our major joking point. 

after he completing his degree he came to my country to be with me forever. I was the happiest girl that time.During that time I also completed my degree.. I was deeply truly madly in love with my everything. As he told me in the beginning, I thought he is from a middle level family. But later on i got to know he is not like mine. He is from a very rich family which made me scared as hell. I was right that time problems started to begin with Money. His parents started to hate me because we do not have money like them. Those were the days depression started to hit my life, After exactly very successful long distance relationship, black clouds started to come above us. His parents started to keep ignore me and family and with theses problems my family also started to hate them. Both of us were totally mentally down, As we laughed together we started to cry together. Those were so much of painful years.

He decided to leave me. He left me, he left his home and went  far away from his hometown. He found a job and he took a project which is far away from me and his family. He blocked my phone number, my Facebook, my whatsapp. Totally from everything. He left me all alone with so much of confusions. Again I started to cry in late nights till mornings. I started to find ways to stalk him to search what is he doing, if he is doing alright. I really cared about him. How to stop loving the person who I love more than  myself. No any single message from him. He has gone. I started to get so thin, and ugly, I found MYSELF depends on him I found I live for him. I found he is the one who keep me alive. Time passed by with tears on my eyes and i knew its fill with his eyes also.. 

Again he started to talk to me and we GOT BACK yeyeyeyey. we started to love secretly he acted as single on Facebook. But I did not act so. cause he was the world to me. Totally I was blind with love. months passed, I felt he is changing. He was not the person he used to be. I felt something and I also found I am changing. I started to accuse him. I started to log his facebook. I found he was talking to girls. I found so many things which made my heart so break. I started to fight. We kept fighting, He blocked once and again unblock. sometimes we make love, sometimes we fight. with these obstacles he fell for another girl and again HE LEFT ME.. HE LEFT ME :’( He wanted to marry that girl and he left me during the last semester of my MBA. My whole world collapse. I cried and cried. I started to lose my strength. I started to email him. i started to scold him so bad. But i loved him so madly. whatever he did I did not want to leave or fall for another man. Because he was the man for my life. I found my mother also kept calling him and scolding me to stay away from my life. He has so much of pressure from everything. He is a man who has a very little smooth heart. he does not have a strong heart. I found he tries to find answers from the easiest ways. He is scared of pressure and problems. My little man is  weak.. As long as i am strong i never got scared of that. I had a strong feeling of that I can make him a strong man. Yes I love him ! LOVE CAN CHANGE PEOPLE. After two weeks I got a mail saying that he broke up with that girl and he loves me. But he did not want to get back with me. He knew he broke my heart. He did not want to make me sad anymore. After I got that mail I was neither happy or sad. I was neutral. He said he wants to help me for doing my final research. he came to skype and started to help me. He kept telling me sorry.. How can I hate the person who i love the most. That’s my weak point.I forgive people so easily which might make me sad as hell in future. AGAIN WE GOT BACK. He promised me not to leave no matter what happens. He promised to that he will be with me no matter what. Last Year February we got back again. we started to love like a new couple. we refreshed everything. i was so happy again. Again we laughed so hard together. We shared our feelings.We were like husband and wife. I have been kept the same feeling for my man as the beginning.  Its been a five years very beautiful relationship. we celebrated our 5th year anniversary so happily. We shared gifts.. We were the happiest again. He changed a lot after that incident and he felt my true love towards him. I able to stay strong whatever the stones which throw at me. I never stopped loving him.I knew he will be back someday.

After exactly one year ago from the previous incident again parents issues raised after I turned in to 27. As I told since I am having typical Asian parents  I started to have so much of pressure from my home about the marriage. They want me to marry  from a arranged marriage and they want me to stay away from my precious. Again fights started. He also started to fight with his never changing minded father. We again fought with our parents a lot. The gift he gave me for my 27th Birthday, is under custody of my parents. Again with these problems, my man left me. Now I am in this current situation. The man who I love more than myself wants me to marry another man. He wants me to sleep with an unknown man and move on my life with that unknown man. Again in the end I AM LOST in this love. He keeps telling me that he makes my life so miserable and he strongly believes he destroys my life. I wonder how people can think like that. maybe I am being jealous in this situation but I LOVE THE MAN OF MY LIFE. Absence of happiness make lives destroy. 

The heartbreak comes in when I finally realize that he is trying to fall out of love with me. He’s trying to make his heart believe that it doesn’t love me. I know I have said that even if he tells me any hateful things I still know deep down that he loves me. My heart hurts from him trying to convince himself that our love is something that he can’t just forget about. 

He took a piece of my heart and I took a piece of his heart.  I’m stuck, stuck in in his gravity and I can’t get loose. I guess I’ll always wonder if I’ll get the chance to tell him that how much I love him.... ! I found the man who came to see me with that green t shirt is trying to stay away from me and trying to move on... as he told I THOUGHT HE WILL NEVER LEAVE ME.. but he did..

I AM LOST !

I wish him all well, and i love my idiot stubborn man. hope he will find his happiness soon.. 

hope you will get to know how true my love is.... hope one day you will see my flash back with you in my greatest 6 years in my life. ! maybe next birth babe.