#with cheese and butter on top when it's cooling off =

[supernovafics]

boyfriend!steve who loves recording everything

wc: 899

a/n: been thinking about this a lot a lot and finally got around to writing it

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“and here we have my beautiful girlfriend who put this whole party together.”

you looked into the video camera for a brief second, drunkenly smiling into it before looking up at steve. “you’re having way too much fun with this thing already, birthday boy.”

“what? it’s actually a very cool gift.” you could tell steve was a little drunk too, but you didn’t think that would’ve changed how into the gift he was; the camera the kids pooled their money together to get for him. “say hi.”

“hi,” you said, smiling and looking right into the lens again, and then you playfully stuck your tongue out at it. 

“i love you,” steve said with a soft happy laugh. “so much.”

“i love you too. so, so much,” you told him and he leaned down to kiss you. 

“thank you again for doing this whole thing,” he mumbled against your lips. “best surprise ever.”

you couldn’t help but smile. “no need to thank me. you deserve it, best boyfriend ever.”

the camera was filming the wooden floor at this point, but it probably still picked up what you two were saying. 

you pulled away from steve after a second, knowing that the longer you two were wrapped up in one another, the more your friends would playfully make fun of the two of you.

“you should go film robin and nancy doing karaoke. i think that them drunkenly singing bohemian rhapsody needs to be documented.” 

steve nodded. “great idea.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

after that first night, it should’ve been obvious, but that camera became steve’s favorite thing. it almost made the new pair of nikes you’d gotten him look like the most boring gift ever, but you didn’t really mind it.  

it was always the most random moments that he wanted to record of you two. “for memories” was always his response when you asked why he wanted to record you two brushing your teeth in the morning or you two lying on the couch and watching a bad movie that he brought home from family video. 

or even in this moment when you two were cooking in the kitchen of your shared apartment.

you immediately gave him a look when you noticed him turn on the camera. “steve, you’re making it seem like we’re cooking something super elaborate. it’s just a grilled cheese.” 

“it’s still like a fun cooking show,” he said, smiling as he set the camera up on the counter, placing it on top of a stack of random containers. “what do you need, chef?”

there was no way of telling if either of you were actually in the frame— you had a feeling that at least your heads were cut off— but still, you decided to play along. he was acting too cute and adorable not to. 

“bread and cheese, chef,” you told him as you went to grab a pan from the cabinet below you. “oh, and butter too.”

“got it,” steve nodded and went over to the pantry and then the fridge, and then made a show of showing the camera all of the ingredients he grabbed. 

you couldn’t help but laugh a little as you watched him. you decided to play along further and follow suit as you did most of the actual cooking; making a point of showing the camera exactly what you were doing and even exaggeratingly explaining it too. 

and when you two were eating at your small kitchen table ten minutes later, you admitted to steve with a smile that he was right, and filming everything did make it feel like a “fun cooking show.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

and then there were the moments when you were the one to grab the camera and initiate the recording. it was seldom, but when you did do it, steve always got the happiest grin on his face. 

like, in this moment, when you were coming out of the bathroom and grabbing steve’s t-shirt that had been haphazardly tossed to the floor thirty minutes earlier and slipping it over your body. for no particular reason, other than you found yourself wanting to, you grabbed the camera off of steve’s nightstand and then slid into his lap, straddling him.

he was already smiling as you turned on the camera and the familiar red light came on when you pressed record. 

“say hi,” you told him, your own smile on your face as you pointed the camera at him. his messy hair from what you two had previously been doing was probably the cutest thing you’d ever seen and you made sure the camera saw it. 

he smiled wider. “hi.”

one of his hands found your bare thigh and you let out a contented hum in response. 

“y'know, i’m surprised you haven’t asked to film us yet,” you said softly. "us doing what we just did…”

his eyes widened a bit at your shy suggestion and you smiled wider, zooming in on his expression. “is that an option?”

you stopped recording him then and reached over to set the camera back down on the nightstand. 

“maybe,” you answered, shrugging innocently. “i think it could be kinda hot.”

steve shook his head. “not just kinda. very hot.”

you leaned down to kiss him then. it was slow and languid and steve’s hands immediately went to your waist, pulling you impossibly closer to him.  

“very hot,” you hummed in agreement. 

[resilient-radical]

My area just got chilly for the first time this fall yesterday

So today I made a chili cornbread casserole

[maniculum]

Bread for a Wit-Sick Man

When recording the podcast today, we read a bit from the Old English Leechbook, as we often do. And today we read a remedy for a "wit sick man" that suggested (in addition to other things) feeding him "hallowed bread and cheese and garlic and cropleek". I thought that sounded pretty good, so after recording I decided to pop by the grocery store and give my complete lack of cooking skill a try. (No hallowing involved.)

I will now record my experience.

Step One

Purchase the following with an eye to your budget:

sliced french bread (store brand)

three green onions ("cropleek" is a pretty broad term, and since I could find neither leeks nor shallots, I figured this was close enough; there are three of them because they come in bundles of three.)

one bulb of garlic

wedge of brie (half-price because it expires tomorrow)

Step Two

Slice all three onions and the whole bulb of garlic because you don't cook that much and you don't trust yourself to use this stuff up later if you don't use it all now.

Step Three

Decide this dish would probably be better warm and preheat the oven to 400F because that seems like a reasonable (and round) number. Get a baking sheet. Spread brie on slices of bread until there's no room on the baking sheet for more.

Step Four

Look at the eight slices of bread on your baking sheet, realizing how small your only baking sheet is. Put way too much onion and garlic on each slice in a doomed attempt to use it all.

Step Five

Half-remember something about how restaurant food is supposedly better because they put ridiculous amounts of butter on everything. Maybe this will save you. Consider that you should have added the butter before the leeks & garlic. Shrug and put a slice of butter on top of each bread-slice anyway, balancing it on the leeks.

Step Six

Realize everything is going to fall off of these slices as soon as you pick them up, and cover them in an excessive quantity of shredded cheese in the hopes that the cheese, when melted, will glue everything down like on a pizza.

Step Seven

Vacillate between cooking for 10 minutes and 15 minutes because you have no idea what reasonable cooking times are but it doesn't seem like it should take a hugely long time to warm the bread and melt the cheese. Decide to split the difference with 12 minutes.

Step Eight

Post on Tumblr while your creation cooks and then subsequently cools.

[dailyfoodlovers]

idk i just feel like even though im talking to a lot of people no one really shows me any special attention when im funny or talks to me to tell me how much they think im cool in private. its just hard to fee like im reallly genuinely valued in these more casual relationships.

Use a nonstick pan and a silicone spatula — When scrambling eggs, we use a high-quality nonstick pan. I also love using my silicone spatula since the flexibility lets me swirl and sweep the eggs as they cook.

I only use eggs, butter, and salt — no milk or cream! I’ve never understood why people add extras like milk, cream, and even sour cream to eggs before cooking them. Milk and sour cream water scrambled eggs down and to us, the cream is just unnecessary.

If you use quality, fresh eggs and cook them low and slow (more on that below), you don’t need anything else. Just a touch of salt and a grind of black pepper. By the way, I love scrambled eggs cooked in butter, but I will often switch it up and use a fruity olive oil.

Swirl then Sweep — We prefer scrambled eggs with larger curds than small, but love them to be extra creamy. The moment the eggs hit the pan, I use our silicone spatula to rapidly swirl in small circles around the pan — we do this, without stopping, until the eggs look slightly thickened and very small curds begin to form (this achieves the creamy part). Then I change from swirling in circles to making long sweeps across the pan, making larger, creamy curds.

Don’t Forget About Carryover Cooking — Eggs are delicate and cook very quickly. Even over low heat eggs can go from liquid to overcooked in seconds. It’s important to take the pan off of the heat before your eggs have finished cooking.

Scrambled Egg Variations

My favorite way to enjoy scrambled eggs is on top of a slice of toast and topped with a few grinds of black pepper, a little extra salt, and freshly chopped chives.

You can also add extra ingredients to the scramble itself. In our dill scrambled eggs, we swirl in fresh chopped dill to the whisked eggs. If you’ve never had eggs and dill together, I highly recommend it.

For a cheesy egg scramble, add soft or shredded cheeses like goat cheese or shredded cheddar to the eggs just as they finish cooking. The heat from carryover cooking will be enough to melt the cheese into the eggs. We add feta to these scrambled egg, spinach, and feta breakfast burritos and love it.

More Easy Egg Recipes

How to Cook Hard Boiled Eggs – We show you how to cook hard boiled eggs perfectly, every time.

Simple Egg Salad Recipe – Easy egg salad recipe with a little mayonnaise, celery, fresh herbs and a spritz of lemon to brighten things up.

How to Poach an Egg – Learn three tips for making perfectly cooked poached eggs at home.

Avocado Egg Salad – This egg salad combines two of our favorite things: eggs and avocado. In addition to the avocado, we add a little mayonnaise for moisture, celery for crunch, fresh herbs and a small amount of lemon juice to brighten things up.

Easy Vegetable Frittata Recipe – The perfect frittata is soft inside with a texture similar to custard. You can pack just about anything into it. In our vegetable frittata, we add lots of colorful and tasty veggies, cheese, and herbs.

88 comments / 56 reviews

Print

Soft and Creamy Scrambled Eggs

PREP 10mins

COOK 5mins

TOTAL 15mins

Scrambled eggs should be soft, creamy and gently scrambled. A quality non-stick pan and silicone spatula are really useful. It’s important that you use low heat and don’t forget about the chance of carryover cooking. Eggs are delicate and cook very quickly. I like to take the pan off of the heat before the scramble has finished cooking. Give the eggs a few seconds in the hot pan (off the heat) and you’ll find the eggs turn out to be perfectly cooked — not dry, and not too wet.

Makes approximately 2 servings

Watch Us Make the Recipe

You Will Need

1/2 tablespoon butter

4 large eggs

1/8 teaspoon kosher salt, or more to taste

Directions

Adam and Joanne's Tips

Olive oil: It’s pretty common (and delicious) to cook scrambled eggs in butter, but olive oil works nicely, too. If you want to give it a try, stick to lighter, fruiter olive oils.

Nutrition facts: The nutrition facts provided below are estimates. We have used the USDA database to calculate approximate values.

If you make this recipe, snap a photo and hashtag it #inspiredtaste — We love to see your creations on Instagram and Facebook! Find us: @inspiredtaste

Nutrition Per Serving: Calories 168 / Protein 13 g / Carbohydrate 1 g / Dietary Fiber 0 g / Total Sugars 0 g / Total Fat 12 g / Saturated Fat 5 g / Cholesterol 380 mg

AUTHOR: Adam and Joanne Gallagher

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[navvyu]

Making food for the reader

An: felt silly! I'm also trying out writing scenarios! sorry if the dishes don't comply w/ u reader! I also think i went a little overboard with the food descriptions... not very reader-sentric, unfortunately

*not beta read

Includes: ruggie, ace, cowley, silver

Ruggie

Ruggie is pretty experienced in the kitchen, so he's able to make a few really good dishes

Ruggie's dish: steamed veggies and potatoes

Ruggie opened the lid of the steamer, letting the warm steam billow upwards. Ruggie carefully took the tongs and pulled out the limp vegetables and set them on a plate. Ruggie mumbled under his breath, "Where's the butter..." Ruggie shuffled around, "Oh there it is!" He grabbed a butter knife and scooped a chunk of butter up, spreading it on the steaming vegetables. "Now the potatoes..." Ruggie grabbed a separate plate and set the warm potatoes down, using a knife to cut them through the middle. "Alright! Grab what you want. Be careful though, it hot!" Ruggie toothily smiled, his tail slightly wagging.

Ace

Ace is okay. He can make a few dishes with a recipe or two.

Ace's dish: Spaghetti with marinara sauce

Ace poured the noodles into the boiling water, shaking out the rest out of the box. "I probably wasn't supposed to pour all of that in... oh well." Ace shrugged, spinning the pasta spoon in his hand. Ace picks up the marinara jar, "Here's the jar opener..." the top suddenly popped when Ace opened it. "Ack!" Ace jumped, almost hitting the jar off the table. Ace then sighed, then he went over to the noodles to stir them. After stirring for a few seconds Ace went back and poured the marinara into a bowl, grabbing a soup spoon to match. He thought aloud "I should grab the strainer.", Ace fumbled around, grabbing onto the large plastic strainer. Ace groaned as he checked on the noodles "Finally done! That took forever..." He brought the pot over to the sink where he poured its contents into the strainer. Ace wiped non-existent sweat off his brow "Whoooooo~" he proudly puffed out his chest "Hey look at me go! I actually did it right this time! Hahaha!" He smirked at you "Don't faint with how good my cooking is!" he giggled "I kid, I kid!" Ace smiled as he handed you a plate, "Enjoy~!"

Cowley

Crowley... it Heavily depends on the meal he's cooking. Mediocre at best.

Crowley's dish: Microwaved Mac and Cheese and fruit

The microwave beeped loudly, and Crowley popped open the door, waving away the steam. Crowley pulled out the warm noodles and set them on the counter, adding the cheese packet and stiring it. Once it was thoroughly stirred, Crowley set it aside to cool off. He then set out a cutting board, and he stated copping up a collection of fruits. Cowley set the copped fruits into a bowl next to the Mac and Cheese. Crowley smiles as he set them in front of you. "Enjoy!"

Silver

Silver is definitely not the best cook but better than Lilia

Silver's dish: Sandwichs and fruit

Silver copped up the fruit evenly, wiping them off the cutting board into a bowl. He then stuck a toothpick into one of the top fruits. Silver set the bowl in front of you. "Here, you can have this while I finish." He smiled warmly at you before walking back to the kitchen. He pulls out bread and a few things to put in it. He set each ingredient on top of each other, making a simple sandwich. Silver set it on a plate before giving it to you and smiling.

[nrc-confessions]

I guess I have to drop my people I’d like to kiss list because PAW ANON SAID THEY WERE GOING TO PUT MAC AND CHEESE IN MY SHOES AND SPREAD BUTTER ON MY WALLS I NEED A RESTRAINING ORDER ON THIS BITCH

I’m going least to most bcuz suspense? Idk

16. That guy from Savanaclaw in my p.e class that helped me when I fell off my broom he’s kinda hot

15. Weed mod lowkey (/j)

14. Jade Leech (MER FORM SPECIFICALLY)

13. Ruggie Bucchi hes whimsical in nature

12. Vil… I mean he’s Vil he kinda has to be here

11. Riddle rosehearts. I could ruin him

10. Ace Trappola he’s a bitch boy little bitch little fuck face little shit little annoying little fucker but he’s. Kinda cute ig

9. The guy from my dorm that helped me cook that one time and has very soft pretty blonde hair

8. Calliope 😔 (🐾/paw anon)

7. The cute ginger guy from my club that said my hair is cool 🥰

6. Azul Ashengrotto

5. Silver… pretty… pretty boy…

4. Floyd leech…

3. Floyd leech mer form 🤤

2. Azul Ashengrotto MER FORM 🤤 octopus……

1. Kalim

- everyone’s favorite anon (🕷️)

🙄ok I know you’re like my fake honorary hoe but damn I thought I would be higher /jjjj

Anyways look who’s at the top 🤭🤭🤭

Also why do you have a thing for mer forms

[bakingtherapy]

Breakfast with Cordelia #10 Macarons

Sul Sul, Gerbits. *Breathes heavily in excitement and terror* 

Today on Breakfast with Cordelia we are going to tackle something that I have always wanted to make. But never had the confidence for Macarons. They are very time consuming, very delicious french cookies. 

Today’s recipe comes from Rosanna Pansino’s Nerdy Nummies cookbook. I could have made her Baby Yoda macron, but thought it was bad timing *haha*. 

The recipe and the directions will be in the description down below. 

For making the macrons, you are going to sift the powdered sugar and almond flour separately. It helps if you sift more than once. Just so you don’t have to throw out a lot of excess flour and sugar. But you don’t want to put the excess in the bowl. You are going to need a very smooth batter.

Whisk the powdered sugar and almond meal until combined.

In another bowl, with an electric mixer, beat the egg whites until frothy. In her video, she says “Until it looks like a bubble bath.” This takes approximately 4 minutes. 

 Slowly adding the graduated sugar until soft peaks form, and you are going to continue beating for another 4 minutes. 

But, watch the peaks you don’t want them to be stiff peaks, or the cookies won’t get smooth.

You are going to fold in the salt.

If you are using food coloring, this is the time to mix it in. However, given that this is the first time doing this recipe, or any macron recipe. I didn’t want to add any coloring to the cookies. 

But if you plan on using food coloring use a color that is a little darker than the color you are using, because it is going to bake lighter.

You are going to grab a spatula, and with it, you are going to fold about a third of the almond mixer into your egg whites. Folding about 20 times. To fold you want to grab your spatula and scrap from the bottom to the top. Making sure that everything is incorporated. 

Repeat this with the rest of the almond mixture. Making sure not to over mix. You are going to be mixing for about 50-60 times. You want the mixture to look like coarse sand. 

You are going to line a baking sheet with parchment paper. It was helpful to find macron templates online. Just print them off and place them under the parchment paper. Just make sure to move the paper before putting them in the oven. 

The next step that you are going to do is spoon the batter into a decorating bag or ziplock bag. 

For the decorating bag, you may want just the coupler and no decorating tips.

You are going to pipe the batter onto the parchment paper in about 1- inch rounds ¾ inch apart. I know that this seems very particular. But these cookies have an amazing taste and the time it takes you to make it is so worth it. 

After that, you are going to tap the baking sheet to release any air bubbles. This part is very important. Because it can change the consistency of your cookies.

Let them set out for 1 hour before baking. I know that I am the #1 person who doesn’t like listening to waiting. However, you have to let the “skins” form on the macrons. This is another step that is crucial for the consistency that makes a macaroon different from a normal cookie.

Once the cookies have developed their “skins” you should position a rack in your oven to the top third of the oven and preheat your oven to 300℉.

These cookies are going to be in the oven for about 20 minutes. They will puff up and they look dry. But make sure not to have them turn brown. 

You know they are “truly” macrons when they have developed their “foot.” Which is a rough-looking layer at the bottom of the cookie. 

As the cookies cool, we are going to make the filling. In a medium bowl, you are going to beat the cream cheese, butter, powdered sugar, and vanilla with an electric mixer. Until the mixture is smooth and creamy.

After the cream cheese is creamy you are going to add your food coloring. 

Scoop it into a decorating bag fitted with a #12 tip. Or a ziplock bag if you do not have a decorating bag. 

Now, we make these cookies into macarons. To do this turn half of them upside down. Pipe about 1 teaspoon of filling onto the cookies that are turned over. Top the remaining cookies to the ones that have the filling.

And there you have it. You have made macarons.

Honestly, when Celeste told me to make these cookies, I was scared. Because I knew that they were going to be very time consuming and that I wouldn’t get perfect macarons, on my first try. But, I know that I am going to keep practicing. There are bakers out there in the world, who were just as nervous as me. Just keep practicing and you will get it. I hope you liked this recipe today. Make sure to like and subscribe for more recipes like this in the future. Vadish, Dag Dag!

Show the original author some 💖💖💖 Rosanna Pansino

Printable version of this recipe: on the blog

Feel free to support me on:

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[nyxnightshade7656]

Hooked Pt4

Eventually I do think I want this to have some spice to it, but right now it's a lot of lead up, sorry!

Once again, she was out and about late at night. She hadn’t bothered to look at a clock or her watch, but it had be somewhere around one or two in the morning, and she couldn’t sleep. So she decided to roam the mansion once again. It wasn’t long before she found herself in the extravagant kitchen. It was rare she allowed herself the indulgence of using both earbuds, but with it being so late at night, she figured it couldn’t hurt. Before her Siren Song developed, she had loved singing. Now, she had to content herself with merely listening to the songs she used to sing along to.

Since she was already in the kitchen, she decided to make herself some coffee and start on some homemade cinnamon rolls. The dough took time to rise, and had to do so twice, so it was better to start those as soon as possible. Once the coffee was brewing, she got to work on mixing the batter. First she measured the flour, then she added the sugar, yeast and salt. She took another bowl and added water and unsalted butter, that she put in the microwave. Once that was warm she added that to the dry ingredients and added an egg. Once that was mixed, she added a little more flour and mixed again.

She repeated the process of add, mix, add until the dough was a smooth, soft, tacky ball of dough. She cleaned her hands, then took her pointer finger and pressed it into the dough. When her finger came back clean, she moved the dough back to the bowl and put it to the side. She cleaned up her mess, then got to making the filling. Into another bowl she put unsalted butter, brown sugar, and some cinnamon. She added a touch of vanilla powder and nutmeg, her own variation on the recipe, then mixed it all together.

The dough had risen during that time, so she floured the counter and turned the dough out. She took a rolling pin and rolled the dough into a huge rectangle, she then took the filling and added it in an even layer across the dough. Then, because she liked being extra and sweet things, she added even more brown sugar and cinnamon on top of that. Once that was done, she rolled it up into a tight log. She grabbed some super thin thread and used that to cut the log into equal sized rolls. She placed each roll into buttered pans and covered the pans with dry, clean, kitchen towels and set them aside for their second rise.

Now that the bulk of the work was done, she set the oven to preheat and got to work on making the icing. She mixed cream cheese and butter together, then added powdered sugar and vanilla paste, she added a touch of fresh squeezed orange juice and orange zest for an added bit of flavor and then wrapped the icing bowl in some plastic wrap until the rolls were baked. The oven dinged to indicate it was done preheating, so she checked on the rolls. They weren’t quite ready, so she moved to get herself some coffee.

She tilted her head as her phone went off with a text. She grabbed her phone and smile softly when she saw that her dad had messaged her, nothing long; just a simple ‘be home in an hour.’ He had been on the same mission that Gambit had gone on, so it was nice that he was letting her know he was okay. She sent a smiling emoji and a heart back, just because she knew it annoyed Logan when she didn’t use words in her texts, and then focused back on her task.

The rolls were ready, so she put those into the oven and set a timer, then went about making some other, simpler, pastries and breakfast snacks to leave in the kitchen for anyone who might later need a pick-me-up. By the time she was done, the rolls were done as well, so she took those out and let the cool a little before adding the icing. She grabbed one roll for herself and packed up several more rolls and went to the hanger. And she was just in time, because as she walked in, the Blackbird was making its decent. She gave a small, shy, smile as the ramp descended and off walked the X-Men. Nightcrawler, or Kurt as he had told her to call him, and Logan were the first two off.

“Hey kid, ya weren’t waitin’ on us were ya?” Logan asked the instant he saw her standing there. She shook her head and held out on of the fresh baked pastries to him. Logan blinked, then shook his head and took it, “Stayed up cookin’ again?” She just gave him a smile and nodded. Kurt ‘bamfed’ beside her and looked over her shoulder, “Oh! You made Zimtschnecken! Zey smell göttlich!“

She had no idea what any of his German meant, but Kurt’s tone and emotions were warm. The air tasted of cinnamon, and it had nothing to do with the rolls she had made. She gave him a small, shy, smile and handed him one of the rolls, only to have to surpress a yelp when he wrapped her up in his arms and tail in a hug, “Danke, Kleine!” He let her go, then gave a little bow. While still bowed, cinnamon roll in hand, he ‘bamfed’ out of the room. Logan shook his head and gave her a look, “Sorry ‘bout the Elf. He’s harmless. You should go try and get some sleep kid. Ya look half dead.”

“Now Wolvie, dere’s no need ta lie ta ‘er like dat! She look prettier’en a peach.” Gambit made his entrance with his usual flare, and apparently a clear disdain for Wolverine’s temper. Despite all that, however, she could tell that he meant what he said. There was nothing but lemon-lime-bright sincerity coming from the Cajun. It made her blush, but thankfully her dad was paying more attention to Gambit than her. Unluckily, Gambit had eyes only on her and saw the red creep up her face neck and face clear as day. Gambit leaned down slightly to better look her in the face, “You make d’ose? Smell incroyable.”

She bit her lip and ducked her head, letting her hair fall into her face, even as she held out one of the cinnamon rolls for him to take. Gambit grinned and took the offered sweet, he took a hearty bite, only to let out a pleased sound. She could feel the creeping spice of his surprise heavy on her tongue, “Ah, Petite, knew it smelled good, but didn’ t’ink it would taste good as it smelled. Mais, not often da Gambit get a pleasant s’prise.” Instantly, Wolverine was bristling, tensed and ready to fight.

“Watch it, gumbo!” He snarled, only to visibly force himself to relax when she put her hand on his elbow. Wolverine looked down at her. He huffed, then just nodded once and turned to look at Gambit again, “I’m watchin’ you, Cajun.” He warned, then turned around and left, but not before he ruffled her hair as he passed. Gambit watched Logan leave, a small, almost, smirk on his face. He waited until Logan was well out of super-human ear shot before he looked back at her and gave her a more genuine smile.

“Well, Petite, how should Remy tank you, hm? You gon’ spoil ‘im you keep dis up, ya know?” Her heart rate kicked up as the taste of caramel bloomed on her tongue. Affection, joy, something close-but-not-quite love. Desire. But a desire born of care and respect. Something she never thought she would feel directed towards herself. She tilted her head to the side, letting her hair fall over her shoulder to reveal her red face to him. He smiled, “Dere ya are, Belle. ‘Mon, les fin’ somewhere quieter, non?” He put a hand on her lower back, gently leading her from the hanger.

[arecipes]

Lemon Cheesecake Recipe 🍋

Creamy and rich, this Lemon Cheesecake has a cookie crust and is topped with a tart lemon curd. If you are a lemon lover, this will be your favorite cheesecake recipe!

I have waxed poetic about my love of lemon for years and years now. If I had my choice between lemon or chocolate, I would choose lemon every time. Sweet or savory – lemon is just my favorite.

So I think I don’t even have to tell you about my love for this Lemon Cheesecake. I first posted this cheesecake back in 2008, then again in 2014. And yes – it totally deserves to be updated yet again.

This Lemon Cheesecake starts off with an animal cracker base versus a graham cracker base. And while I do think a graham cracker crust would be delicious, this animal cracker base totally sets this cheesecake apart from others. That is followed by a creamy lemon cheesecake. Once the cheesecake is baked and cooled, you add a homemade lemon curd to the top. Seriously – all of your lemon dreams coming true.

This cheesecake recipe is the perfect mix of sweet and tart and creamy. It’s perfect for entertaining, and perfect for holidays. I’m not kidding when I say this will be a new favorite – just read some of the comments below and you’ll see many others that agree with me!!

Ingredients

For the Crust:

Like I said above, the crust of this cheesecake is made with animal crackers instead of graham crackers. I really love this crust because it compliments the lemon well. You’ll need 5 ounces of the crackers, sugar, and melted butter. If you prefer a graham cracker crust, you can use that instead.

For the Cheesecake:

The cheesecake is made from lots of cream cheese, eggs, sugar, lemon zest and juice, vanilla, salt, and cream. I would not suggest using low fat ingredients here. You’ll want fresh squeezed lemon juice, so don’t use the juice from a jar.

For the Lemon Curd:

The recipe for this topping is a little different from my go-to lemon curd (which would also work) but I think this version is perfect for this cheesecake. You’ll need lemon juice (again – use freshly squeezed), eggs and an egg yolk, sugar, butter, cream, vanilla and salt.

How to Make a Lemon Cheesecake

Start with your crust: Process the animal crackers in a food processor until you have fine crumbs. If you don’t have a food processor, you can crush the crackers in a bag, but you probably won’t be able to get them as fine. Add the sugar to the mixture, then stream in the butter.

Press the crumbs into the bottom of a 9-inch springform pan. I have tried putting the crumbs halfway up the sides, but I didn’t like the texture, so now I just keep them just on the bottom. Bake this for 13-15 minutes, then remove it from the oven and let it cool.

Once the crust is cool, you will wrap your pan. Scroll down below for a few different methods to do this.

Next we are onto the filling. Get the food processor out again and pulse part of the sugar with the lemon zest. If you don’t have a food processor, use your fingers to rub the sugar and zest together. Stir in the rest of the sugar.

In a stand mixer, or with a hand mixer, beat the cream cheese for a few seconds. Then add in the lemon sugar, and beat until smooth. Add the eggs, lemon juice, vanilla, and salt and mix to combine.

Give the batter one last stir on the sides and the bottom of the bowl to make sure everything has been incorporated.

Pour this into the crust. Now this goes into the oven to bake until it is just slightly jiggly in the middle, but the surface is no longer shiny. Turn the oven off and prop the door open with a towel or a wooden spoon and let the cheesecake sit in the oven to gradually cool for 1 hour.

While the cheesecake is baking, make your lemon curd. Heat the lemon juice until it is warm. In another bowl, whisk the eggs and egg yolk with the sugar. Then whisk the warm lemon juice into the egg mixture. (Make sure to whisk constantly so that you don’t scramble your eggs and end up with clumps.) Pour this mixture back into the pan, and cook, stirring constantly, until the mixture is thick enough to coat the back of a spoon.

Remove it from the heat and whisk in the butter, cream, vanilla, and salt.

Refrigerate this until you need it.

Remove the cheesecake from the oven and run a knife around the edge. Let the cake sit at room temperature for 2 hours to cool completely.

Once cool, top the cheesecake with the lemon curd, then refrigerate for a minimum of 5 hours, but 24 hours is even better!

How to Create a Leak-Proof Water Bath for Cheesecake

I am a firm believer in a water bath. Not only is it the best way to avoid cracks in your cheesecake, but it helps to give you the best texture.

But I know many people curse them because sometimes water can leak in and ruin your whole cheesecake.

I have learned 2 different techniques to help you avoid that!

The first is to use the wide heavy duty foil. Normal foil is 12″ wide, while the wide heavy duty foil is 18″ wide. The 18 inches makes it so that you only have to use one sheet which means the water doesn’t have anywhere to sneak in.

The second technique, shown above, is actually something that I learned from one of you! Wrap your springform pan in a slow cooker liner, then add the foil to the outside of that to hold the bag in place. I was worried about oven temperatures at first, but the slow cooker bags are safe up to 400ﾺF. And it worked like a charm!

A few more tips when it comes to water baths:

Be careful when adding the water. You will need a baking dish or roasting pan that fits your springform pan and is at least 2 inches in depth. Even if you think you can walk the pan with the cheesecake and water in it to the oven without spilling or splashing, I still recommend taking the cheesecake and placing it in the baking dish, placing that in the oven and then carefully adding hot water to the dish.

If you are scared of the water bath or if you are too afraid of the water seeping into your cheesecake, I have heard of others who have had luck placing a pan of water on the rack under the cheesecake. I still think the actual water bath makes for a better cheesecake, but this method is a good alternate.

Tips and Tricks

Make sure all of your ingredients are at room temperature.

If your lemons are hard, you can roll them on a countertop, pressing them with the heel of your hand to loosen them up. Or pop them into the microwave for a few seconds.

Always zest the lemon before you juice it. It’s not easy to zest a lemon that has already been juiced!

The cheesecake needs to be fully chilled before serving.

Storing, Freezing, and Making Ahead

FREEZE: I have not personally ever frozen cheesecake, but research says it can be done. You’ll want to wrap it in both plastic wrap and foil, and then freeze it for only up to a month.

STORE: Store any leftovers in the refrigerator for up to 5 days. Keep it covered so that it will not dry out. The crust will get soggier the longer you keep it, but it will still be good.

MAKE AHEAD: I love that this cheesecake can be made ahead of time, which makes it perfect for holidays. It is actually best when it has been in the refrigerator for a day, so it’s ideal to make it ahead! The original recipe says you can make it up to one day in advance, but I have successfully made it 2 days in advance without any issues.

[the-salty-avocado]

Kale rice au gratin 🥬

I still had more kale ready in the garden. You can’t let greens sit in the soil too long when mature because they go bitter. So, I made this dish!

🥄 Spoon rating: 5/5

Reason: having to pre cooked rice, grating the cheese since Gruyère doesn’t come pre-shredded, chopping vegetables, and it makes ton of dishes.

I recommend only doing this dish when feeling good or getting help like I did.

Ingredients:

1 C cooked rice

1-2 bunches kale

2 C sliced fennel (about one large bulb)

3 tbsp olive oil

1 yellow onion

1 1/2 tbsp garlic

1 tsp thyme

4 eggs

3/4 C heavy cream

1 tsp salt

1/2 tsp black pepper

1 tbsp Dijon mustard

1/2 tsp nutmeg

2 cups shredded Gruyère cheese

1/4 C Corn Flake crumbs* (pictured at end)

1/4 C shredded Parmesan

2 Tbsp more olive oil

Instructions:

Pre cook rice ahead of time.

Chop and kale, removing stem.

Grate cheeses

Slice fennel (Remove the fronds. Chop the very end of the bulb off. Slice thinly on mandolin or by hand.)

Bring a medium pot of salted water to boil. Cook kale for 5 mins then drain and set aside.

Pre heat oven for 375 F

In a large skillet add 3 tbsp oil and heat to medium. Cooked onions and fennel for about 5 mins

Add kale, garlic, and thyme. Cook for 3 mins then remove to plate.

In a large bowl beat eggs, heavy cream, salt, pepper, mustard, and nutmeg.

Add Gruyère and cooled rice.

Spray or butter a deep baking dish. Add vegetables then egg mixture, mix in dish.

Top with corn flake crumbs, Parmesan, then drizzle with the 2 tbsp of oil.

Cook uncovered for 30 mins.

Taste Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️5/5 it has a very complex flavor. My family loved it

[thelocalmuffin]

Hey everyone! Here is my piece for @bycmykae's Toasty Vol 2. If you're interested in more cute bread and animal themed pieces, make sure to check out the rest of the zine here.

The Recipe:

Bunny Pull Apart Breadsticks and Pizza!

Make a pizza and breadsticks shaped like a cute bunny head! Note: The actual pizza will be smaller in diameter since the breadsticks are made with the same dough. Serves two!

Prep time is about 2 hours, including rising. Recipe is down below.

Pizza / breadstick crust: 2 1/4 tsp / 7g of yeast 1 tsp / 4g sugar 3/4 cup / 170g warm water (around 110F) 1/2 / 2g tsp salt 1/2 tsp / 2g garlic powder — optional 1 tbsp / 15ml olive oil 1 tsp dried herbs / 4g. (rosemary, basil, oregano, etc) 2- 2 1/2 cups/ 240g to 300g of flour (all purpose or bread flour) 1/4 cup /56.5g cheese, Italian blend is best. Water as needed.

Pizza Sauce: 1 can tomato sauce 1 tsp / 4g minced garlic 1 tsp / 4g dried herbs 1/2 tsp / 2g balsamic vinegar Dash of salt and pepper

Pizza itself: 1 serving of the pizza crust Some of the Pizza Sauce

1 cup/113g cheese Italian blend is best. Whatever additional toppings you’d like.

For the breadsticks topping: 1 tsp/5g butter, melted Garlic salt

First, you will want to prepare the pizza crust. In a bowl, mix sugar, yeast, and water together. Let the yeast feed for 5 minutes and then transfer to the mixing bowl. If the yeast does not bubble up, you will have to start over since the yeast is either dead or got overheated. 

Add in salt, garlic powder and oil. Add one cup of flour and use an electric mixer to blend everything together with a dough hook. Add in the second cup of flour and mix until combined. If the dough is sticky, add the extra flour until the dough is firm. If the dough is not mixing together, gradually add one tsp of warm water at a time until the dough starts forming together.

To knead the dough with the mixer, let the dough mix for 5 minutes on a medium setting.

Coat a medium sized bowl with oil and place the dough in, letting it rise for an hour or until doubled in size. 

Divide the dough and take a small chunk of the dough and place to the side. With the larger mass of dough, roll out the dough until one inch thick. Shape in a circle and using a bread brush, spread some olive oil and curl up the dough for a crust. Use a fork to poke holes all over the center of the pizza to keep the dough from bubbling up in the oven. Spread pizza sauce and cheese on the top.

To shape the bunny ears breadsticks, take the small chunk of dough that was placed to the side and cut it in half. Then roll out both of those pieces horizontally to shape like an ear. Gently attach the ears on the top the crust with a fork or by gently pinching the dough

Let the dish rise for about 15-20 minutes while your oven is preheating to 425F/218C. Let the dish cook for about 13-15 minutes. When the pizza is out of the oven, melt the butter and combine the garlic salt. Spread melted butter on the ears. You can also add parmesan on top of the breadsticks. 

Let pizza cool for a few minutes before serving! Pull the bunny ears off for the breadsticks and enjoy.

[riflebrass]

It's not much to look at, but it turned out better than I expected.

Starting off with the bread sticks I got some frozen bread dough which I've never used before. I put it in a bread pan, wrapped it in plastic, and set it in my roommate's bedroom window to thaw out since it was getting direct light. That wasn't working too well since the apartment is air conditioned so I ended up putting it in the bed of my truck for a couple hours. I took a couple sticks of butter and added a bunch of peeled garlic and some herbs and let it simmer for a long time as the garlic cooked. When it was soft and spreadable I used a stick blender to blend the mix smooth. I grabbed some chunks of dough and rolled them out flat then put a stick of string cheese in the middle and sealed it up as best I could. I brushed both sides with the garlic butter mix then set it aside while I worked on the rest of the meal. Next I turned my focus to the potatoes. I strained out the oil from the butter mix and made a roux with an unmeasured amount of flour. From there I added milk until it got the desired consistency then added the rest of the garlic and herb mix then hit it with the stick blender while I slowly added in some monterey jack. From there I sliced up 4-5 potatoes and dumped it in the sauce. I had way too much sauce. I really should have measured the flour better lol. I dumped everything into a casserole dish then tried covering it with shredded cheddar to give it a nice skin on top. The cheddar completely sank into the mix. I covered it in foil then tossed it in the oven. For the chicken I put it on an improvised broiler pan using a cookie sheet and some cooling racks. I covered the skin in a rub then put it in the oven at 350. After an hour I pulled the foil off the potatoes then cranked the oven up to 425. When the oven came up to temp I pulled the chicken out and put the bread sticks in. After about 20 minutes the bread sticks were ready and I just phoned it in with canned green beans.

The bread sticks ballooned up so much. I was afraid that rolling the dough out was going to push out all the air and it wouldn't raise anymore. Well it sat out for about an hour and a half while I was working on everything else so it ballooned up again then got even bigger in the oven. It came out really fluffy with a nice light and crispy crust to it.

The potatoes came out really soupy as expected but it tastes pretty good especially with all the garlic.

[fuckkbrunch]

I thought this would be quick...

Please ignore my blurry headers, I swear I'm working on it.

So this is a two in one, since you need to make the sauce recipe from the back of the book as well. I hadn't banked on it still being 40��C outside, and as you may recall, my kitchen has no windows.

Luckily Tony says this sauce should take no more than 45 minutes, and ideally much less. The meatballs however, took quite some time.

I think this is entirely too much onion for meatballs, but maybe that's just me. I used some Sicilian oregano that I bought a few months back for my tiny, apartment style herb garden. Most of the herbs have died, but the oregano is still doing okay.

A pound each of ground veal, beef, and pork. Panko and eggs. Nothing fancy - oh, except my fancy garlic...

Look at these big honkin' cloves! Not shallots, garlic. I really got a deal at the farmers market last week. The guy wasn't lying when he said it's strong. Cook up the minced veg and herbs for a few minutes and cool them before mixing into the meat.

The formed meatballs chill for 15-60 minutes. I left them longer (2.5 hours) because I somehow threw my back out a little, and needed to take a time out. It kinda works out, since my fridge is working overtime in this crazy fucking 3 week heatwave.

Then, the sauce.

Of course, the week I need a bunch of Roma tomatoes, Costco is all out. Had to buy some depressing ones from the cheap grocery store. I let them sit at room temp for a few days so they could ripen as much as possible. Dunno if it helped, the skin was really hard to get off even after blanching and an ice bath.

Onward and upward. I splurged a little and got myself a case of San Marzano whole tomatoes. I think they helped make up for the sad Romas.

When the sauce is mostly ready, preheat your oven to 400° so that your apartment can get even more disgusting and unbearable. Now stick your head over an oily cast iron for a half hour and sear 27 meatballs on all sides.

The onions stuck to the pan and over cooked, so I had to clean the pan between batches. Not ideal.

Blitz your sauce with an immersion blender, then stir in 2 chunks of butter. Rip up your basil, stir, season and you're done.

I realized my roaster was too big for this many meatballs to sit deep enough in the wine and sauce mixture, if you can believe it. So I used the braising pan that I made the sauce in, and the cast iron that I seared the meatballs in. Both work just like a braising pan.

Don't believe the people who say you can't cook tomatoes in cast iron, they don't know shit.

Pour almost equal parts wine and pomodoro (a little more wine than sauce) around the meatballs and bake for 20 minutes. Yes, I was drinking white wine (with ice) from a whiskey glass while finishing this up. My entire being is just sweat and back pain at this point, I'm not fucking around anymore. We're in the homestretch.

Really good, fresh mozza, and some of that good parm I bought back in the winter. That wedge is probably going to last me the whole book.

His recipe says to put the bottom of the bun underneath the meatballs while they broil, but I'm not partial to burnt, soggy bread, and I hate when the top and bottom bun are fully separated. You need that back connection to hold the meatballs in! So I just broiled the balls with the cheese on top (my broiler fixed itself...?), and plopped them into the buns once the cheese looked nice. Add a bit of the reserved pomodoro to the bun.

Sure ain't beautiful, and it's hefty, but she's fuckin' tasty. Got a tiny bit soggy towards the end, but nothing fell or dripped onto my plate. Very clean meatball sub.

| Meatball Parm Hero & Pomodoro |

Taste is a 4 out of 5. The meatballs were pretty juicy, even though I hit a higher temp than Tony called for.

Difficulty is a 4 out of 5. The back pain may be clouding my judgment, but this is a lot for one day. Make your pomodoro in advance.

Time was hard to say. Without my extended break, I think this would have taken about 4 hours.

Tony calls for footlong semolina hero rolls with sesame seeds on them, split in half to serve two people each. The closest I could muster was 6 inch Italian style sausage buns with semolina. They got the job done pretty well, so I'm calling it. This recipe feeds at least 8 people.

[soft-bellied-tannies]

Date Night Debauchery

The first post of Chubtober is a gift for my lovely friend, Cherry.

Read here or on AO3!

---

“Hey Hobs, do you want to go out with us tonight? You can bring Yoongi, we would love to see him again. It’s been so long!” Jimin asked with a hopeful expression. 

His co-teacher at the dance academy rarely went out with them and they had only ever met Hoseok’s partner, Yoongi, a handful of times. The last time they saw Yoongi was nearly two years ago when Hoseok had started at the academy and the pair accepted invitations to welcome dinners.  

Jimin was very understanding and kind every time Hoseok mentioned that Yoongi was quite introverted and didn’t enjoy going out much. He would simply say that his partner, Jungkook, was similar and he hoped the couple knew that the invitation was always still there if they wanted to accept. 

Hoseok shook his head and honestly did look a little dejected. Jimin was a difficult person to say no to considering how genuine he always was.  “Sorry, Min-ah, you know Friday night is date night. Maybe another time!”

“Okay, have a good night! We’ll have a drink for you!” 

Sending them a parting wave, Hoseok hightailed it to his car. He had a few errands to run before he went home including picking up dinner. Making quick work of his pit stops, he was pulling into their driveway just thirty minutes later. 

Although he sometimes thought about taking Jimin up on the offer to go out, Friday nights with Yoongi were not something Hoseok ever wanted to give up. Uninterrupted time with his partner was always a priority, but over the past two years, the activities they partook in on date night had changed for the better in both their opinions.

“Yoon! I’m home!” Hoseok called out, waiting to see if he would get an answer. When he didn’t, he smiled and carried his bags into the kitchen. Yoongi loved a good nap after work so Hoseok never really questioned if he was taking a nap, just where he had ended up dozing off. 

After putting his haul away and separating their takeout into portions, Hoseok walked into the living room to find his partner just waking up from his sprawl on the couch as expected. Yoongi’s comfortable work-from-home outfit left little to the imagination, not that Hoseok minded the opportunity to ogle his partner’s evergrowing soft frame.

Hoseok knelt beside the couch and placed a hand on Yoongi’s plump cheek. He moved his thumb back and forth for a moment, excited for what the rest of the night held for them. “Hi, baby.” 

“Hey, how was your day?” Yoongi asked as he struggled a bit to sit up. He tugged his shirt down that had ridden up during his nap, a small strip of skin still visible at the bottom even after his adjustment. 

“Great, my seniors finally hit their routine and Jiminie and I came up with cool choreography for our new group. How about yours?” Hoseok replied, running a hand up and down Yoongi’s soft thigh - squeezing every now and then because he couldn’t resist sinking his fingers into his boyfriend’s skin. 

Yoongi shrugged and pouted his lips for a kiss before answering. “It was fine. Got a new set of lyrics finished with Joon and I picked up a new project from a group that is trying a new dark concept that I’m really into. Also, we need more peanut butter and ice cream sandwiches.” 

Hoseok nodded with a laugh. “Got it, I’ll add it to the grocery list. Ready for dinner?” 

“Absolutely, I’m starving,” Yoongi answered, patting his stomach and looking up at Hoseok who was now standing. “Did you get extra cheese?” 

“Of course, babe, I know your order by heart,” Hoseok said before heading to the kitchen, collecting the pizza boxes and extra add-ons like his salad and Yoongi’s cinnamon sticks. “You want beer or coke?” 

Yoongi gave him a little shy smile as he accepted one of the pizza boxes. “Both, please.” 

Hoseok kissed his forehead, watching as Yoongi grabbed the first slice and the edge of the box rested on the top of his stomach. His boyfriend was already to the crust when he got back with their drink selections. “Want any of my salad, Yoon?” 

Letting out an amused laugh, Yoongi shook his head while his mouth was full of the majority of his second slice. “I’m good, Hoba.” 

Cracking open one of the Coke cans, Hoseok handed it to Yoongi and warned him, “Here, babe, make sure you don’t choke.” 

Yoongi accepted the drink, chugging down half before going right back into his pizza. The box was now beside him on the couch, pizza in one hand and Coke in the other while they both rested on his stomach. “They kind of skimped on the bacon this time.”

Hoseok leaned over to inspect the pizza and he did have to agree, they went a little light on the toppings. “Yeah, they did, that’s annoying. Want me to go grab some of ours?” 

“Yes, please,” Yoongi responded with another sweet smile that had Hoseok ready to give him anything he ever wanted. He watched as his boyfriend let two handfuls of bacon bits rain down on what was left of his pizza before thanking him. “Mmm, much better. Thanks, jagi.” 

Hoseok then let Yoongi work on his pizza while he ate his salad and found something to watch. His boyfriend was starting on slice number six by the time Hoseok opened his pizza box which he knew would become Yoongi’s soon anyway. 

One pizza was nothing for him these days so Hoseok grabbed two slices for himself and put the box next to Yoongi so he could move seamlessly onto the next pizza once he finished his own. 

“Hey, babe, can I get another drink?” Yoongi asked after draining the can of Coke. Hoseok immediately had a can of beer open for him and, without missing a beat, he opened another as he knew that Yoongi always chugged the first beer in one go no matter how far in they were. 

Letting out a belch after downing his beer, Yoongi excused himself and accepted the second can. He kissed Hoseok on the cheek and absent-mindedly rubbed the top of his stomach for a brief moment, taking a quick measure of how full he was and determining that he had plenty of room left. 

Hoseok smirked when he noticed Yoongi spread his legs a bit and recline into the cushions. If he was getting comfortable on the couch, that meant he was planning on really going for it - ready to be stuck for a while instead of keeping it light enough to waddle off to bed when they were done. 

Reaching over to give Yoongi’s stomach a gentle prod, Hoseok followed it with a few encouraging smacks. “Come on, Yoon, it’s going to start getting cold soon. You hate cold pizza.”

Yoongi sighed, knowing that his boyfriend was right, and dug back in. He handed his beer to Hoseok and grabbed two slices, stacking them on top of each other and getting them down in what felt like seconds. After picking up the last slice of his pizza, he tossed the empty box onto the coffee table and pulled Hoseok’s closer to him. 

“Good job, baby,” Hoseok whispered, followed by a firm squeeze to Yoongi’s still-soft underbelly. “You have more after the pizza and I’m feeling a little impatient tonight. I might have to start feeding you myself soon.” 

If anything, that was more encouragement to slow down because Yoongi loved it when Hoseok fed him, but he, at least, needed to finish the pizza before handing over his control. He started in on his boyfriend’s pizza, realizing it would be easier to get down since it was simple pepperoni instead of the meat lovers he had just put away. 

Hosoek wondered if Yoongi had taken it easy during the day because he was actually maintaining a quick pace, going against the persistent teasing that had been happening. As he thought about it, he concluded that he couldn’t have gone that easy because there were at least four ice cream sandwiches left when he grabbed ice from the freezer that morning and now they were gone. 

By the time Hoseok had finished his salad and a couple of slices, Yoongi only had two left from the second pizza and his clothes were starting to look a little uncomfortable. “Finish that pizza, Yoon, and then I’ll help.” 

Yoongi simply nodded and continued powering through, grabbing the last two slices and wolfing them down as fast as possible. The waistband of his sweatpants was cutting into him and he wanted Hoseok to take over - reaching a level of feeding fatigue even if he definitely had room left to eat more. 

Slipping one hand beneath the tight band, Hoseok pulled it below Yoongi’s heavy belly. He moved his hands under the tight t-shirt to travel up from the soft underside across his midsection until he reached the crest of his now taut stomach, giving it an inquisitive press that brought a rumbling moan from his boyfriend’s chest. 

“There you go, baby. Much more comfortable, you just need more room, right?” Hoseok said teasingly, watching as Yoongi’s belly spread into his lap when he finally removed his hands. 

With that, Yoongi’s reprieve had ended as he watched Hoseok grab a bag from the restaurant and turn it over to dump out the contents. He wasn’t even sure how his boyfriend managed to get a bag full of icing cups for one order, but he would never complain about it. 

There was clearly enough to have one cup with each cinnamon stick which is exactly how Hoseok fed it to him. It was sickly sweet, but Yoongi couldn’t say no to the indulgent dessert. Part of him wished they saved a bit of the savory stuff to alternate bites, although Hoseok’s pace didn’t really allow for breaks anyway. 

After the fourth one, Yoongi simply gave into his partner’s control. He opened his mouth and ate what he was given without hesitation - reclined heavily into the couch cushions with his hands on his very full stomach until the dessert box was empty and it felt like every inch of his stomach was lined with cream cheese icing. 

Yoongi hadn’t even realized the steady stream of cinnamon and sugar stopped until Hoseok’s prodding hand was back on his stomach, finding very little give in his taut skin. He always ate a lot, especially at his boyfriend’s hand, but Yoongi felt absolutely beached tonight - dough and cheese with a bunch of sugar on top filling his stomach to the brim. 

“You okay, babe? You’re looking rather full,” Hoseok asked quietly as he continued his gentle massage of Yoongi’s bloated stomach. He knew Yoongi would answer with moans and groans for a little while, digesting his massive meal. 

This was Hoseok’s favorite part. That pride in seeing his handiwork on Yoongi’s frame, feeding his boyfriend into temporary immobile bliss. They could gladly spend hours this way - Hoseok manhandling and teasing Yoongi while he just let all the sensations overwhelm him. 

“Jiminie asked me to go out for drinks again. I keep telling him Fridays are date nights and he always offers for you to come, to see everyone again.” 

Yoongi made a small sound of embarrassment for two reasons. One, knowing where this conversation was headed, and two, from the gurgling sound of his stomach every time Hoseok pressed on a sensitive area.  

“Imagine what they would think of you now, baby. They haven’t seen you since I joined the studio and they see all those college pictures on the wall in my office. Remember how much smaller you were back then? Would they even recognize you? What happened to my little college basketball player, hmm?”

The moan Yoongi let out was his only answer, throwing his head back against the couch as Hoseok moved to straddle him - fighting his distended middle for space. The arousal overpowered the shame from his partner’s humiliating words. He could only imagine the look on Hoseok’s coworkers’ faces if they saw him again, especially Jimin whom Yoongi matched in stature two years and many, many pounds ago. 

Hoseok’s hands continued their caress of Yoongi’s belly as he placed random kisses on his partner’s exposed neck. He leaned forward slightly to rest more of his much slighter weight on Yoongi’s middle, bringing yet another guttural moan out of the bigger man. 

“You finished everything so fast, ate like a starving man when we both know you are never starving these days. I wonder how many snacks you pack away while I’m gone. Seems like there is something new on the grocery list every day.”

Yoongi was a non-verbal mess as he often became under his partner’s attention. He was convinced that Hoseok had the ability to cast some sort of spell over him, convincing him to melt under dedicated hands and intense words. 

“We still have time to go meet up with them, could get all dressed up and go out, but we both know that’s not happening since you wouldn’t be able to get off the couch by yourself. You can’t even fit this gut in your sweatpants right now. Putting jeans on would be a nightmare.” 

Hoseok was excitedly anticipating Yoongi’s response as it normally went one of two ways on nights like this. He would either completely agree and let Hoseok have his way with him or he would find a little resolve to argue back. Hoseok loved when Yoongi argued back. 

“I can get up just fine, thank you very much,” Yoongi mumbled, cheeks pink from both the heat of the moment and his partner’s endless teasing. 

With a raised brow, Hoseok climbed off Yoongi’s lap and he let out a disbelieving laugh. “Alright, big guy, let’s see it then.” 

Yoongi huffed in response to the nickname and the demand. He knew better than to challenge Hoseok and based on how much effort it took to attempt the first scooch forward, this was going to be a difficult attempt. All that food was heavy in his stomach, pushing both up and out in a way that made breathing a little tough and bending forward impossible. 

Rocking back and forth a few times, Yoongi stood slowly while using the little bit of momentum he built up. It took all of his strength to push past the wave of heartburn that rippled up his throat as he stood, a deep belch being forced out from the pressure on his middle. He let out a low breath, trying to hide the amount of effort it took. 

“See, per…perfectly fine,” Yoongi huffed, trying to act naturally as if his body was begging for him to collapse back into the cushions. He tugged his shirt back down around his distended middle as far as it would reach and rested his hands on his hips, pretending that his stomach didn’t feel like a lead weight hanging off of him. 

The necessary arch of Yoongi’s back to support his overfilled belly only pushed it farther forward, testing the limits of his already snug shirt. After a few more heaving breaths, he felt balanced enough to stay standing, but Yoongi knew that anything more than that would require assistance and at least another hour of digestion time.

Hoseok laughed and palmed the underside of Yoongi’s bloated stomach, giving it a gentle shake. “Well, clearly I haven’t fed you enough if you are ‘perfectly fine’. Sit down, baby, I’ll be back, and don’t even think about touching yourself.” 

Yoongi’s eyes widened as he heard the no-nonsense tone from Hoseok. He already felt ready to burst and he made the mistake of mouthing off to his partner. Tonight was far from over now. 

Part of Yoongi wanted to push it even more, maybe taking off his shirt or refusing to sit down, but he was already in for a little pain before his pleasure and that was enough for him. He fell back onto the couch with a heavy thud, groaning at the poor choice on his part - a sudden hit of nausea overcoming him with the jostling of his full stomach. 

Yoongi closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, resetting himself and preparing for the next round of food as if he hadn’t just put away eighty percent of their takeout order himself. Friday nights were always interesting, but he loved when Hoseok got a little mean, giving up all his control to his typically sunshiny partner. 

When Hoseok walked back into the living room with the unopened quart of vanilla ice cream and a bag of honey butter chips, Yoongi was confused. This was not a normal choice for his partner - ice cream obviously, but what was the point of the chips? 

Hoseok set the container of ice cream on the coffee table out of Yoongi’s reach and held out the bag of chips for the other to take. As he took the bag from his partner’s hand, Yoongi realized that there was a certain item missing from Hoseok’s haul - a spoon. 

Before Yoongi could ask any questions, he was given new instructions that made his eyes widen. Hoseok was full of surprises apparently. 

“Okay, big man, since you are feeling so confident tonight, you earned a little prize for yourself. You are going to eat those chips, keep yourself nice and full until this ice cream melts and once it’s ready, you are going to drink the whole thing, got it?” Hoseok explained as he stood in front of the couch, hands on his hips with a look of absolute seriousness on his face. 

Yoongi felt a shiver run down his spine at the tone of his partner’s voice. It had been a while since they had a night like this and thankfully he was sitting because this side of Hoseok always made him weak in the knees. 

“Yeah, got it.” 

“Mhmm, what was that?” Hoseok asked with a smirk.

“Yes, sir, I understand.” 

“Good boy.” 

Yoongi did everything he could to hold back the moan threatening to fall from his lips. The ask alone made him motivated, but the tone of Hoseok’s voice was nearly enough to send him over the edge untouched. 

Without further hesitation, Yoongi opened the bag of chips and put three in his mouth, ready to work through the bag like it was his job. He had to ignore the fact that his stomach was not on the same page as his mind. His body was screaming at him to be done with sweetened carbs for the night, but Yoongi had certainly trained his stomach at this point to persevere. 

He was desperate to have Hoseok’s hands back on him, but Yoongi knew that he wouldn’t get that until the ice cream was gone. That was the trade-off for being mouthy even if it was incredibly worth it in the end. 

Yoongi couldn’t help but smirk at Hoseok looking as if he could barely restrain himself from jumping back into Yoongi’s lap - well, whatever room was left for him. He simply continued pushing through the bags of chips, focusing on following all of Hoseok’s rules. 

Completely unaware of how much time had passed, Yoongi startled when his hand met the bottom of the now-empty chip bag. He looked up to find Hoseok’s amused expression looking back at him. 

“So greedy you didn’t even realize you ate the whole bag,” Hoseok teased while taking the empty bag out of his hand. “I gave you enough time to pace yourself for the ice cream to melt and yet you just can’t help yourself.”

Yoongi felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment before it shifted to a bit of discomfort. It was like the entire bag of chips hit his stomach all at once since he had zoned out through tearing through it. 

Letting out an involuntary groan, Yoongi leaned back and his hands found his stomach - his incredibly tight stomach. The pure amount of cheese, sugar, and grease fighting for room would be concerning if he didn’t absolutely love how full and fattening it felt. 

“So full…” Yoongi groaned as if he had any chance of stopping Hoseok’s plans. He was the one who brought this on himself and the pain of pushing through was always worth the reward in the end. 

Hoseok dropped onto his knees beside Yoongi considering his lap especially was lacking room for him to take his usual spot. He ran his hand up from Yoongi’s soft hip until he drummed his fingers across the taut crest of his partner’s overly full stomach. 

“I bet your ice cream is all melted now, baby.”

Yoongi felt packed so full that the thought of ice cream, melted or not, on top of everything else made him a bit nauseous, but the arousal of knowing that he could be more full with Hoseok’s hands all over him outweighed any feeling of sickness. 

“Can you do it?” Yoongi asked, certain that Hoseok would be nothing but excited at the request. 

Hoseok grabbed the container with a smile and carefully removed the lid, not wanting to spill a drop. “With pleasure, darling.” 

The anticipation sent a low heat through Yoongi’s groin, hoping that Hoseok would be ready to do all the work considering he felt glued to the couch before the ice cream that was about to sit at the top of his stomach. 

Yoongi felt the cold condensation on his bottom lip as Hoseok held the container up to his mouth. He was the farthest thing from hungry, but his mouth still watered like he hadn’t eaten in days. 

Although it was melted, the ice cream was still thick and cold as he started to drink - no reprieve from Hoseok as he held the container at a steady angle. The chilled liquid relieved some of the pain in his stomach at first until chugging reminded him just how little room he had left. 

The sugar-filled cream quite literally had nowhere to go except sit directly on top of his stomach. Every swallow felt like it was pushing Yoongi’s stomach farther than it had ever been pushed before. He was familiar with the feeling of going over his limit, but it had been quite a while since he felt that pinch in his side telling him to stop. 

Hoseok, ever observant, seemed to notice and gave him a little break - eyeing the bit of cream that dribbled down Yoongi’s chin as he did. He leaned in to lick it up slowly, enjoying the intimate taste of his partner. “Almost as sweet as you, sugar.” 

That sent Yoongi right back into a state of nonverbal mess, just able to moan in response as he was desperate for more. More of what? He didn’t even know. Possibly Hoseok’s touch, but now, Yoongi wanted nothing more than to prove how good he was even if his body disagreed.

At the moment though, he genuinely needed a break. The pinch in his side was slowly becoming a cramp. His breathing was felt quicker simply because he feared a deep breath may cause him to pop. 

Hoseok noticed Yoongi’s intentional breaths and smirked, wondering if he needed a little help digesting. He palmed Yoongi’s swollen belly and jostled it side to side. Yoongi immediately grabbed his partner’s hand in a tight grip, giving a silent signal that he could not handle the movement.

The last thing Yoongi wanted was to tap out and shaking his stomach would certainly make that happen. Seeing the way Yoongi’s eyes were closed as he breathed through the moment, Hoseok instantly got the hint and started running his fingers through his partner’s hair - peppering Yoongi’s face with soft kisses. 

Yoongi couldn’t help the relieved and endeared feeling that filled his chest as Hoseok was fully in tune with him, switching his touches to tender caresses. They may both love the intensity and teasing, but respect and care for each other were always going to be the priority. 

Hoseok brought his lips to Yoongi’s ear, kissing his neck just below and whispering, “Tell me what’s going on, baby.” 

“Just needed a break, I promise.” 

“You sure?” 

Yoongi started nodding, not wanting to lose the incredible direction of their “date night” as he had looked forward to Friday nights every single week. “Want to finish…please.” 

Hoseok smirked once again, leaning back and holding Yoongi’s plump cheeks in his hands. “My good boy, such good manners.” 

Yoongi involuntarily moaned in response to the praise, always reaching a point of uncontrollable desperation at this point of the night. He would be embarrassed if Hoseok didn’t love it. His moan, however, was cut off by the container once again finding his lips. 

Opening his mouth and leaning his head back against the couch, Yoongi watched in satisfaction as Hoseok’s eyes lit up. The container was tilting up in an instant, now angled higher as the cold yet melted cream poured into his mouth at a much higher pace. 

Yoongi never knew how Hoseok was capable of pushing his body past what he thought were his limits. It’s as if Hoseok’s praise and touch alone increased his stomach capacity. 

Seeming to go into another place mentally, Yoongi ignored everything except Hoseok’s warm hand on his belly and gentle praises in his ear. The second half of the pint was gone faster than the first, but it made itself just as well known. 

When Hoseok pulled the contained away, he saw every bit of Yoongi’s pleasure and pain - well aware that they had gone farther tonight than they had since close to the beginning. He didn’t know why since it was just a normal Friday night for them, but something was in the air that night.

Yoongi finally opened his eyes as he was missing Hoseok’s touch, confused as to the long pause. Usually, his partner would have been back on his lap and starting to get into his pants by now. 

To Yoongi’s surprise, Hoseok was in front of him with his phone out, apparently taking photos. The blush once again returned to Yoongi’s cheeks when he saw the pride on Hoseok’s face which was honestly deserved considering the work his partner had put into feeding him up. 

Without another warning, the photos were the farthest thing from Yoongi’s mind as Hoseok dropped to his knees in front of the couch and pulled the offensively tight fabric from Yoongi’s torso. 

After his shirt was pushed up to his chest, Yoongi expected Hoseok to move on to fight with the tight waistband of his sweatpants, but he was surprised by the warm sensation of Hoseok’s lips on the sensitive skin of his belly. 

Yoongi felt heat rise through his body when Hoseok dedicated himself to worshipping the angry pink lines across Yoongi’s pale middle. As if he weren’t covered in enough marks, Yoongi knew that his belly would be covered in a spread of sweet purple love bites to accompany his variety of old and new stretchmarks. 

Between the sudden nips from Hoseok’s teeth followed by the soothing open-mouth kisses, Yoongi could form no words. He sat heavily, melting into the couch cushions as he panted through the barrage of sensations from his partner. 

Yoongi’s hand found Hoseok’s hair and grabbed a handful, tugging slightly in a nonverbal attempt at reprieve. Before pulling away, Hoseok spent another ten seconds on the same spot he had been focused on, ensuring that a dark bruise would be left behind. 

Hoseok couldn’t help the smirk that formed on his face when he saw the absolute deshelved state of his partner. Yoongi was clearly trying and failing to keep it together and Hoseok loved being the one to cause that. 

“What’s wrong, my love?” Hoseok asked so sweetly as if he wasn’t just ravishing Yoongi’s array of stretch marks. 

Yoongi huffed and let his head fall back against the couch again to continue trying to collect himself. “Babe, if you keep going, I’m going to cum in pants like a teenager.” 

Hoseok laughed brightly, not expecting that response before bringing his expression back to an even more mischievous smirk. “Well, Yoon, that sounds like I’m doing my job correctly.” 

It seemed that Yoongi’s break was over as Hoseok’s hands sunk into his still taut belly and his lips found a new mark to focus on. He was immediately worked back to the edge of release as if they hadn’t taken a break at all. 

At that point, Yoongi knew better than to fight it and let himself fall into the bliss of Hoseok’s affection. He let the moans reverberate through his chest freely and melted into the soft couch. His hands found Hoseok’s hair once again, but this time in an encouraging, loving touch rather than a resistant one. 

Hoseok’s teeth scraped against Yoongi’s skin once again sending a shiver up his spine. His soft thighs instinctively tightened around his partner’s body that was still knelt between his legs. Hoseok blew a soft, cool breath across Yoongi’s flushed, warm skin spreading chills across his body. 

Pleasure was not a new sensation to Yoongi, but he certainly loved when Hoseok got creative in how to give it to him. Another strong grip of his thick sides was followed by a strong bite to one of his newer stretchmarks, the skin incredibly sensitive to the touch. 

Yoongi barely registered any pain at this point, just the hefty weight of his middle becoming less and less apparent with the impending release of the tension between them. He turned his face to the side and buried his chin into the cushion, finding a place to muffle his growing whines that accompanied his strung-together moans. 

Hoseok’s hand suddenly gripped his plump chin and brought their lips together as his other hand trailed down Yoongi’s belly, fighting slightly with his stretched-thin waistband until he could finish what he started. 

All that could be heard throughout their open living room was a final sobbing groan from Yoongi before labored breathing and Hoseok’s gentle whispers of praise were left. Neither knew how much time had passed when they finally separated enough to finally look at each other, and then promptly burst into laughter. 

“Well, this night has gone better than I even planned,” Hoseok said lightly, following it with a much sweeter kiss than his previous. 

Yoongi simply nodded and let his head fall back to his partner’s shoulder. “God, I’m exhausted.”

Hoseok chuckled again as he nodded. “I can imagine. You have a lot of calories and a good orgasm working against you.”

It was Yoongi’s turn to laugh since he really couldn’t disagree. What he could disagree with was the fact that Hoseok held his hands out to offer Yoongi help up as if that was something possible at the moment. 

“Hoba…jagiya, if you think I’m getting up any time soon, you are mistaken.” 

Hoseok did laugh, but Yoongi also saw the challenging look in his partner’s eye. “You need to get out of those pants at the very least, but we both could use a shower before bed.” 

Yoongi continued to look at Hoseok as if he were insane until he let out a deep sigh and finally brought his shirt back down to a slightly more acceptable place than bunched up under his arms. Although, his still very full belly made it more of a crop top than a full shirt. 

“15 minutes?” Yoongi asked, knowing he didn’t stand a chance bargaining against Hoseok. 

“Oh, sure, I can get you a little snack for your break too,” Hoseok responded, pointing over his shoulder to the kitchen. 

Yoongi groaned and held out his hands with an almost pitiful look on his face, knowing that was not an empty threat from his partner. “You are such a menace.” 

Hoseok could only laugh once more as he grabbed Yoongi’s hands and braced himself to help his heavy partner off the couch. He watched fondly as Yoongi wiggled to the edge of the couch cushion, mumbling about how he was going to be so bloated in the morning - as if that was a new thing for Saturday mornings. 

Once he was up, Yoongi felt Hoseok’s hands immediately wrapping around him from the back as his partner started to direct them down the hall to their bedroom. The walk was slow and slightly embarrassing as Hoseok commented on Yoongi’s ambling waddle to accommodate his stuffed belly. 

Yoongi couldn’t bring himself to actually feel any shame when all the comments were followed by the gentlest kisses to his neck and cheeks just as they were every time they made that walk from the living room to the bedroom. 

No matter how far Hoseok pushed him, Yoongi always loved date night.

[trivialbob]

Today was scorching hot and very sunny. I doused myself with suncreen, filled a backpack with water, more sunscreen, and dental floss, and went over to the "Great Minnesota Get-Together," otherwise know as the annual Minnesota State Fair.

When I arrived at 10:00 AM the place was packed. If you do not revel in big crowds, sweaty people, fried food, food on a stick, high food and drink prices, farm animals, or tractors, this place is not for you. I can tolerate this mixture of things if I go to the fair every few years.

Lots of people. Did I already say that?

Getting there is easy if one takes a bus. $5 buys a round trip ticket from one of several park-and-rides around the cities. Both the bus ticket and the admission ticket can be purchased online ahead of time. Very easy.

People watching is excellent. Food smells are delightful. The assortment of eats is interesting. It would never have occurred to me to make deep-fried pickles. I didn't try them but I heard some people raving about how good they were.

French fries and huge tubs of chocolate cookies are popular and available in several stands. I shudder thinking what a nutrition label on those cookies would look like. It likely would indicate a serving size as "one small bite" just so the amounts of sugar, sodium, and fat didn't exceed 200% of the recommended daily allowance.

For my lunch I tried the HotDish-on-a-Stick. Hot Dish is a Minnesota thing, made with a tater tot topping over a mixture of meat, cream of mushroom soup, and maybe some veggies. The stand selling hotdish-on-a-stick didn't have a line of people. That is not a good sign. It did have a sign explaining what you got for $7 (a bargain compared to other food stands).

I liked the concept, but results didn't work for me. It tasted like deep fried batter. The mushroom-hamburger dipping sauce was too salty, and I only dipped into it one time.

Some food stands had enormous lines. There must have been 150 people waiting for a new-this-year doughnut stand. "The Doughnut" was $5. Based on the long line, they easily could charged more. The Peanut Butter Cream doughnut was $10. At that price I would have thought it would be served on a stick. This stand had me curious, but I wasn't going to wait in that line.

On Machinery Hill there were collections of vintage farm and garden tractors. Very cool. There were also lots of trucks, modern lawn equipment, side-by-sides, ATVs, and travel trailers on display. I sat on a swell little John Deer tractors and made revving noises with my mouth, much like I did as a 5-year-old in Sears stores long, long ago. I thought it was funny, but an actual 5-year-old boy today looked at me and backed away.

There are also a lot of the "as seen on TV" displays, selling items you didn't know you had to have!

The 4H people had farm displays. I like those kids. The Miracle of Birth Center had newborn calves, chicks, goats, and lambs.

After several hours of walking around my feet were burning and my back hurt a little. As I made my way back to the gate where the buses were, I stopped to try some deep fried mac and cheese bites and have a beer. Those bites were delicious. The beer, while a little pricey, was extremely refreshing and frankly worth the price in that heat.

I plopped into a seat on the articulated bus. The air conditioning worked very well. I actually started to nod off as we waited to leave.

Four blondes and a brunette get on a bus...

No, this isn't a joke. It really happened. As my bus started to pull away and take us back to our cars, an adorable young woman, the brunette, walked up to the driver.

"Wait, where does this bus go?" She apparently missed the large banners with park-and-ride names and the those same names flashing on the bus LED signs.

The driver explained that we were going to the Bloomington park and ride, next to the Mall of America.

The brunette turned to her similarly cute cohorts, the four blondes with nearly identical haircuts, who sat midway down the bus.

"What bus did we take to get here?"

The other four came up to the front of the bus. They discussed it. I heard one blonde say she was sure they had not parked in Bloomington.

"Ohmygosh, will let us get off this bus?"

We hadn't left the parking area yet so the driver politely said he could do that. The brunette turned to address the rest of the passengers.

"I'm so sorry you guys, to make you wait like that." (It had been under a minute.)

Everyone said it was no problem and wished them well finding the correct bus. I smiled, then dozed off for the ride to Bloomington.

[picnokinesis]

What are your three favorite family recipes?

Oh man, okay so this has been in my inbox for AGES (I'm so sorry!!) because I was like damn, this is such a cool ask, but honestly I wouldn't say my family has any 'family recipes' so to speak, at least not anything that I'm aware of as something that's been passed down, y'know? I think this is mostly because my mum is a fantastic cook, and generally found/came up with her own recipes rather than doing anything my gran taught her haha. I learnt pretty much everything about how I cook from her, which is what I would describe as 'a vibes-based approach', where rather than precise measurements, she'll say 'oh a bit of that, a bit of this', and also ignore half of what the recipe says and do her own thing. She makes roux sauce without measuring anything and by pouring all the liquid in at once, and just whisking it like a mad thing to get rid of the lumps hahaha

So then, following on from that, I figured actually whilst I don't really have any passed-down family recipes (other than like, my mum's amazing quiche, which I do not know how to make myself rip), I do have recipes that I've made up, based on other recipes! So I'll quickly tell you about those!

Courgette Pesto Pasta Ingredients:

Pasta (I use 50g of penne per person)

1 onion (or half if you're only cooking for one person)

Mushrooms (like. a bunch. follow your heart)

Courgette

Bacon (2 slices per person)

Pesto

Lemon Juice

Butter

So you'll need to chop up everything before hand (or, if you're like me, time it with how long it takes the kettle to boil, but I have a gas kettle that takes 5-10mins to boil, and also screams at me). So: chopped onions, sliced mushrooms, sliced courgette, and cut the bacon into little squares. Then - kettle boils and pasta goes on. By the time you're done with cooking everything, the pasta should be about ready.

Put the courgette in a small pan, and add a lump of butter, some lemon juice and a bit of some of the boiled water left over from the kettle. The aim of the game here is that the water/lemon juice is gonna boil off and leave the butter behind to fry the courgette a little before adding it in with everything else, so only have enough liquid that it doesn't quite cover the top layer of courgette. Then whack that on the heat. Grab a wok, throw some oil in and start frying the onions. After a few, throw in the mushrooms. Then, add the bacon. I personally like my wok-fried food a little seared, so when it's getting crispy, the courgette will hopefully be beginning to fry in the other pan. At this point, I usually tip the courgette AND whatever liquid is left in that pan into the wok, and start frying it all together. By now, it should have been about five or ten minutes, so test the pasta, see if it's cooked. When it's ready, drain the pasta, turn the heat down on the wok and then add the pasta. Then mix in a healthy teaspoonful of pesto for as many people as you're making it for, and that's it!

Potential variations:

So my mum makes this one differently - no lemon juice, no courgette, no pesto. Instead, she cuts up a red bell pepper and adds that into the wok after the bacon, and adds in a ton of Philadelphia cream cheese for the sauce. It tastes incredible haha. I've also made a variation on this where it's the same as my mum's version, but I add in a couple of teaspoons of sun-dried tomato pesto as well, which was glorious. And then the other day I made up a new variation, which takes my version of the recipe as outlined above, but uses grilled vegetable pesto instead of normal pesto - and then, before serving, beat one egg per person in a mug, and pour that into the wok and stir it in throughout. That was AMAZING

Quail Egg Carbonara Ingredients:

Quail eggs (5 per person)

Pasta again

Single cream

Butter

Parmesan cheese (1 hearty tablespoon per person)

Mushrooms

Bacon (again, two slices each)

Okay so you don't have to use quail eggs. However, I get quail eggs for free from work because we have like, six or seven quails HAHAH so we get a ton of eggs and most of my co-workers don't eat them so I make the most of it. This recipe is based on a recipe from a cook book that I have, but the proportions are kinda whack, so I riffed off it, and I use quail eggs because the yolk to egg white ratio works out better, I think? However, you can absolutely try and use a chicken egg - my mum tried this the other day and just used one chicken egg per person, and she said it was fine, just a lot more liquid than my version haha.

Anyway. This one is so simple. Make the sauce first: beat all the eggs together in a large bowl, then add a lump of butter and the single cream (I'm so sorry. It's like - okay, last time I made it, I wanna say I used about 100ml cream to cook for three people, and a healthy sized lump of butter. But it's a vibes based approach. Follow your heart) and then 1 hearty tablespoon of parmesan cheese per person. Yes, it's a lot. That's because this recipe is good for the soul. Anyway - important note, do NOT MIX the ingredients together. Just throw them into the bowl and let it stand. Put the pasta on to cook, and then fry the bacon in a frying pan (oh, the bacon and the mushrooms should be chopped). After the bacon is getting on, add the mushrooms. Again, we love these slightly seared. THEN. When the pasta is cooked - do NOT turn off the heat, but turn it down, and then drain the pasta and return it to the pan. Add the mushrooms, bacon and pan juices into the pan with the pasta, put it back on the low heat, and then pour everything in that bowl into the pan and mix it together. The og recipe was like 'turn the heat off, the heat of the pasta will cook the eggs!!' but I don't trust that lol so I do keep it on the low heat as I stir it for about a minute or so, and then I take it off the heat and serve it immediately. With more parmesan on top, of course.

The other three main things that I cook that are actually pretty decent/interesting come from some recipe books that I have, but they are: Sausage and Bacon Casserole, Chicken in Cider (this one is AMAZING and also so easy but looks very impressive haha), and Pork in Apple Gravy (also amazing, but less simple - you kinda make a roux sauce but use apple juice rather than milk!). I also like a lot of vegetarian food, so my mum and I work together to make a really lovely nut roast from an old recipe book, and also stir fry with cashew nuts fried in soy sauce, and I'm actually hoping to try and make a vegan version of that first recipe with pine nuts and cashews rather than bacon for my vegan friend who makes her own pesto at some point!

Anyway!! Hope the person who originally asked me this sees this lol, and if not I hope it's interesting for other people! I'm always interested in new recipes that don't involve spices because I'm very weak when it comes to heat in food (like......peppery sauces taste spicy to me RIP) so if anyone has any recommendations, send them my way!