#with all this on my own i promise ive done zero research into my own symptoms i live with every day im a simpleton im an idiot
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#personal#i have doctors appt today with a new doctor its literally not even a real appointment i just need some stupid forms signed#but guys im so stressed im so scared ive already cried once about it today i just. i fucking hate doctors so so much#theyre all so bad. im not in the mood to be dismissed again today and its 15 goddamn degrees so everything feels bigger and worse than it is#if they dont sign the form i dont get paid any more and if i dont get paid i cant continue to try and sort out my medical#which means i continue to not get paid and im just. so scared. so so fucking scared i dont even care if we find the start if the path#to vetter my health i dont care about gettinf better right now i just need this fucking form signed but#ive already been dismissised for it once and i have new doctor jitters. what do you mean i have to tell someone new that#i have ptsd and anxiety and depression and fibro and alleged bpd but its probably autism actually and hope#hope and prey they losten to me because its other doctors that have told me this and im definitely computer illiterate i couldntve come up#with all this on my own i promise ive done zero research into my own symptoms i live with every day im a simpleton im an idiot#please believe me dr refer me to ypur colleagues for further testing but in the mwan time sign the one form i need please#im so scared. i dont know what to do. my tarot says to tryst myself and find my own authority about the situation#but like literally legally i cant i have to rely on the hope this new doctor gives her signature or i dont get fucking paid as stated#i hate this i feel so shaky and nervous and nauseous and awful 😮💨#and im supposed to do groceries today. im at the very end of my shopping like if i dont go get food today#then i dont eat tonight but its cold and rainy and im super stressed abt the appointment so idk if ill be able to go shopping after#i dont wanna die anymore but like rn i kinda do this is too much today feels like too much#help me im drowning
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Ghost of you, 14/?
Volume: 1.
Number of parts: 14/?.
Pairings: Human!Nine x Rose; Human!Ten x Jack; Clara Oswald x Olivia Baxter (OC).
Synopsis: "Rose opened the interactive screen and changed the setting for the attached glass wall. It became transparent. Allegro turned around to see Maxence wandering around his cage, a washable felt tip in hand. He had a screen open with all the results his team had entered on their work space and all the other walls were covered with his handwriting."
A/N: I've started writing this fiction last year after I had a particularly weird dream (as usual) and after I wrote the prologue, I've put it aside to work on other stuff. I've gone back to it not so long ago and decided that it would be the fiction I would post next, after not posting anything for a while. I must have watched I am legend and Game of thrones way too much to come out with something like this but I hope you will like it. I am not a scientist, nor did I have a particular knowledge of sciences. I do my researches on the internet like everyone to make sure everything is as close to the reality as possible. I have a literature degree only. Writing is what I do and it makes me explore next fields, and learn new things.
“It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.” - John Joseph Powell.
CHAPTER 14:
Amy didn’t leave Rose any second while she worked. It was an offer Rose had made to her: observing her as she worked so she could make her own opinion on her. She wouldn’t be biased by anything her patient would have said. Rose was only natural when she was working. She wasn’t pretending to be fine. She wasn’t wearing a mask. She was just herself and being a witness of it would help Amy understand her patient better. The therapist was glad that this idea came from Rose herself and not from her. The woman wasn’t gonna refuse this opportunity and she wasn’t gonna abuse this benefit either. Rose had also offered her to be a friend and that was very unexpected for Amy. Someone asking to be a friend. Rose hadn’t asked questions about why she had had to leave the session for a few minutes. She was giving Amy the time to build a good friendship before opening up to her. The therapist was sat beside Zachary who was keeping his eyes on the screen before him. He was trying to fix the intrusion that had happened a couple days ago. The hacker had left a real mess inside the codes and he had to fix this. Amy’s eyes were focused on Rose though. Standing in front of Allegro’s cage, she was reading the updates on his condition. She was studying the scans from two days ago and the ones Tegan had done in the morning. There was a clear evolution. Being exposed to the UV lights had caused him to develop some symptoms of the virus and react consequently. Now that the lights were off, he had gotten back to normal and was being completely normal again. He was a bit shaken by the situation but he was talking to Liv when he felt the need to. He refused to speak to Amy. He trusted Liv more than the therapist to be honest. The security guard came to the intercom and pressed the button. He was curious about his own situation. Except for Liv and sometimes Zach, no one was speaking to him. And no one was telling him much about how things were evolving for him, for Maxence, for the cure. “How is he going?” he asked. Rose raised her head from the notes she was taking and glanced at Allegro. She tucked her pen in the pocket of her white coat. She pressed the button to answer. “He’s better. Kyle has been brave by going inside unprotected to save his life. I’ve released him today. He hasn’t developed the virus thankfully.” “Antibodies?” “We’re working on that. His body has rejected the noctiagus very fast.” “It’s good. He’s very young. Would have been a really bad thing to lose him too.” “We haven’t lost you, nor Maxence.” “But we’re both in a cage, and he’s infected.” “Both of you are helping us to find the cure.” “How?” Rose opened the interactive screen and changed the setting for the attached glass wall. It became transparent. Allegro turned around to see Maxence wandering around his cage, a washable felt tip in hand. He had a screen open with all the results his team had entered on their work space and all the other walls were covered with his handwriting. “Someone hacked the system and made us believe that his sensors had to be changed. But when we proceeded to the change, the phial wasn’t the right one. Someone has replaced the sensors with a supposed cure that did more damages than anything else.” “Have you found who did this?” “Not yet. But we have a couple of detectives here. Maybe they will find this for us.” Rose chuckled lightly. It was her first joke in a while. She set the wall back to opaque. For a second, Allegro was silent. He put his hands in his pockets. “Who are those detectives?” “Camden McCarson and Donna Noble. Jack has recommended them. Him and Clara think the virus has been created by someone and the detectives are looking for the patient zero.” “Is there any chance to find him or her?” “Very little. But if we don’t try, we’ll never know.” “Indeed.” Their talk was over for now. Allegro walked back to his camp bed and lay back down. His hands behind his head, he looked at the ceiling. Rose finished taking her notes and put them aside. She went to Maxence’s cage and read the new formulas on the walls. He was doing quite a nice work. She was a molecular biologist too and all of this made sense to her… except for one thing. She pulled out her own washable felt pen and wrote down another formula right under the wrong one. She did it backward so he could read it from his cage. Then, she knocked on the glass wall to draw his attention. Maxence raised his head when he heard the knock and walked closer to where Rose was. She pointed to the formula she had written. He took his time to read it and checked his notes. He shook his head and pointed to another formula. He was trying to explain her how he had come to this conclusion and she was trying to tell him where she thought he was wrong. It was a silent communication, all in hand gestures and written formulas on a glass wall. It was fascinating for Amy. Any other couple of scientists wouldn’t have had this alchemy between them. They were working together as if they were the same person. If there was a picture next to the soulmate definition in the dictionary, it had to be them. They were the perfect representation of this word. Even in the darkest times, they remained together, hand in hand. Amy grabbed a pen and a piece of paper to note her observations. Usually, she was recording them but she couldn’t record what was happening here. She could later ask for the videos but they wouldn’t be as convincing as seeing it happen live. She was envious. She had never had this kind of love with someone. Not even with her ex-husband. The thought distracted her and, for a minute, she was unable to focus on Rose without thinking about what she had lost on this terrible night. She could hear it still. The screams, the screeching of the tyres on the road, the gasp of surprise, and that sound. That so terrible sound that was haunting her nightmares. She closed her eyes briefly and took a deep breath. She needed to push it away quickly, before anyone could see her weakness. Now wasn’t the time but she was vulnerable and had troubles controlling herself. “Are you okay?” Amy jumped when she felt a hand touching her shoulder and turned around. Rose was done with Maxence. They had managed to find a solution to the problem they had found in the formulas obviously and Maxence was using a new colour to distinguish his new notes from the old ones. “He’s a busy bee,” she remarked. She hated how her voice was trembling, how Rose was seeing clear in the poker face she was showing. She hated being this vulnerable. Rose glanced quickly at her husband. “Yeah. We found something. I’m waiting until he’s done to compare our results.” If he happened to have the same as hers, it meant that they were on a good path. They couldn’t be wrong if the two of them were coming to the same conclusions. “He’s almost done.” Rose knew she shouldn’t do what she had in mind but she would do it anyway. She had promised to be a friend for Amy and her mission was to help her to get better. So she was gonna take her to the room she was sharing with Maxence and she was gonna force her to have some rest there instead of going to her office like she always did. The therapist was as exhausted as Rose and a bit of rest was hardly a luxury. Maxence concluded his formulas and Rose checked them. She smiled. They had the same results. They hadn’t used the same way to get there but the result was there. She pressed the intercom button. “Add this on your interface. I’ll transfer it all to Tegan.” Maxence nodded. He would do just that. Rose watched him sadly for a minute. She really wanted to come in there and hug him tight to tell him that everything would be alright. She would find this cure. She murmured an ‘I love you’ and told Amy to follow her. “Where are you taking me?” “To a place that used to be my oasis of calm before.” Amy had to admit that she was intrigued and it didn’t get any better when she recognised the private parts of the building. They passed by the dormitories but didn’t stop before they reached the kitchen. “First, let’s eat something. I’m rather hungry. Aren’t you?” “Sort of.” Amy wasn’t eating much. It had been this way since that night. She was eating just enough to have strengths for the day. This meal was the first real one she was eating in a while. But Rose wasn’t letting her refuse. She was even forcing her to eat a bit more than necessary. After that, she took her to the room she was sharing with Maxence, the room where all their pictures were. A room where she was supposed to find her own peace and have a better night of sleep.
x
Tegan was standing in the middle of his office, his arms folded on his chest, and his foot lightly tapping the ground. He was being impatient and angry all at once. Soon as he was done with the detectives, he had sent them to work. Jack had tried to stay and find out what was annoying him so badly but Tegan had resisted and convinced him that this matter only concerned Martha, Colin and him. He would let him know later maybe. No one else should know about this attempt of sabotage. Martha and Colin were there now. Both were sat on the couch and they were waiting for Tegan to speak. Martha was rather worried about this sudden summoning and Colin… Colin was Colin. He was sat there, impassible. Tegan couldn’t do anything against him. He was the real boss here. So he wasn’t worried. “Are you gonna look daggers at us all day or tell us what has made you summon us?” His words were sweating with sarcasm but he was trying to be as nice as he could be in front of Tegan. There was a witness and he couldn’t be caught bullying him once again. He doubted Martha would intervene between them but she could spread rumours just by talking with her stupid boyfriend, Ricky. Or Mickey. Whatever he was called. Tegan grabbed the report on his desk and threw it on Colin’s lap without a word. He was so furious he wanted to punch him in the face. But that wasn’t the attitude of a leader. So he was containing his rage. “One of you had mixed a new cure without telling me and this cure was given to our patient number one.” “And? What’s the matter? Isn’t that why you’re keeping him downstairs?” Tegan swallowed the anger rising in his chest. Colin was obviously looking for troubles with him. Martha was glancing at them worriedly. She didn’t know the story between the two of them but it didn’t seem to be a nice one. “This cure hasn’t been registered and it has been given without any consent. Everything is supposed to be given to me first for approval before anything.” “I haven’t mixed anything,” admitted Martha. “I’m still waiting for the new results. They haven’t been approved yet since…” She gave a look to Colin. He wasn’t in the elite team so she didn’t know what she could say before him. She didn’t want to make a mistake and be yelled at for it. Tegan was in a murderous mood and she wouldn’t cause him to have a go at her. “Martha, you can go. Not a word about this to anyone.” “What? A couple words and you believe her?” Tegan made a gesture of the hand to signify Martha that she was dismissed. He believed her. He would believe anyone but Colin. Martha hesitantly left the office. This matter was interesting but she wouldn’t know the final word of it obviously. “I have reasons to believe that you’re trying to sabotage our researches. I have no proof but I am convinced you’re still working on this cure, that you’re trying to beat us to it.” “Why would I do that?” “We both know why. You’ve been removed from the noctiagus researches and you’re angry. You hate me and I’m your boss now. To me, there are enough reasons here for you to get on my way.” “You’re being paranoid.” “You’ve created that cure.” “Maybe.” “Don’t try to lie. I know you did. I have access to all the cameras in this building. I’ve seen the videos.” He was bluffing and hoped that it would work because he wasn’t a good liar usually. Lying in his bully’s face was harder too. Colin didn’t let any reaction appear on his face. It was infuriating Tegan so much. “So, how’s good old Maxence? He hasn’t gone mad in that cage of his?” “Maxence hasn’t come back from his last mission.” “Oh, don’t play fool with me. I know he’s down there. Everyone knows. It’s not because you created this special team that keeps secret everything they do that there aren’t leaks.” “If you had good narks in this building, you would know better.” Colin was done with Tegan’s assumptions on him and his hidden threats that would lead nowhere. If the man had had the courage to do anything, he would have done it already since he had full power now. He had admitted himself that he didn’t have proof that he was guilty of what was done to Maxence. It was an attempt of murder. Despite his condition, Maxence was still the head and heart of this department and of this team. Attacking him was attacking the whole team. It had been made to destabilise them. But Colin was too clever to admit that he was guilty. “The same works for you, Smith. If you had good narks in this building, you’d be better informed about what is going on in your department.” Colin was playing it nasty. He was playing on the guilt that was eating out Tegan. He was the one who made that injection who could have killed his so precious mentor. He was the one who made a mistake and that was torturing him. “Shut up, Appleton. My mistake was created by some freaking bastard that messed with our stuff. And that freaking bastard is you, you can’t convince me otherwise.” Colin got up and grabbed Tegan by the throat. He pushed him so hard that the young man had to step backward to keep his balance. Tegan noticed for the first time that he was taller than Colin. The man was more aggressive but he was just like small dogs who kept barking and never really were able to hurt. Tegan was one of the bigger dogs who never hurt anyone in anyway, a dog that could attack and kill at any time. He hated this comparison because that just wasn’t defining him at all. He refused to be mean and evil for free. It just wasn’t in his character. “Careful what you say, Smith. You might be the boss now but there’s no witness at the moment and I can destroy you with a snap of my fingers.” “Go on then. Let’s see if you really have that pair you’re boasting about.” Colin had reached the point of no return this time. His fist collided with Tegan’s beardy jaw. The punch resounded in the silent office and the sudden shock threw Tegan against the wall behind him. For a moment, all he could see was black. He shouldn’t have provoked Colin that way and this punch was more than enough to sack him. It was one more reason added to the long list of why Colin shouldn’t be working here anymore. “There’s nothing you can do against me. I’ve created this cure and made sure you would inject it to him. His reaction to it wasn’t the one expected but I’m not gonna apologise for him almost dying. I should have taken his place when he was infected. But he gave it to you instead.” Tegan just laughed despite the pain of his jaw. Colin was so overwhelmed by his jealousy that he wasn’t doing anything right anymore. He was giving himself away – certainly thinking that Tegan would find no clue to prove this – and beating his superior. As if nothing mattered anymore. “You won’t find that cure, Colin. You’re fired.” “Oh, who’s firing me? You?” “Maxence promoted me to this position. So yeah, I am firing you.” That second punch met his face properly. He would have a black eye for sure but he couldn’t help but laugh. It was infuriating Colin but laughing was relieving him from all the pressure Colin had previously put on his shoulders. Now he wasn’t fearing this man anymore. It was over. Even when Colin threw him to the ground, he kept laughing. He didn’t even try to protect himself. “You’re so done.” “Shut up! SHUT UP!” The door was unlocked and suddenly two security members were surrounding Colin. They grabbed him by the arms and arrested him. They would throw him into a locked room for now. Tegan had pronounced his sentence but he wasn’t cruel enough to force Colin to leave the building and live among the infected. He wasn’t wishing it to his worst enemies. “Liv is on her way,” said one of the security members. “We’ve told her you would need her.” Tegan nodded to thank them. Indeed, he would need Liv. But it was only for the physical part. On the psychological part, he would need Amy. Later. When the adrenaline would have come down. When he would realise what he had done and what it would imply now.
x
Camden and Donna were surrounded by dozens of cardboard boxes full of results of different patients across the world. There even was a list of all the infected people – that was updated every day – and a list of some of dead. No one could keep clear records about the dead because no one was staying outside long enough to keep track of it. Camden wasn’t gonna blame them. Outside was hell and this place was safety. Even if it was too sterilised for his liking. And people were too serious. No sense of humour. Lots of glaring if he was making a remark. Most of them were wondering why they were here. Why would Tegan hire detectives? It was a mystery and Camden wouldn’t tell them about his mission. He was too focused on it. He would go to the end of it and go back to his little life in his manor. Donna was just as focused on their mission as he was. Highlighters in hand, she was adding colours to the documents she was reading. She was also writing down notes. In front of her, there were bottles of water and snacks. They had been brought earlier by Clara so they wouldn’t be starving or become too thirsty if they were working too much. She had also taken that opportunity to speak with Camden that she hadn’t seen in a while and given him some clues for his own researches. She doubted she would be of any help but better try than do nothing. “How have you met her?” Camden raised his head from the documents he was reading and glanced at Donna. She was having a break and drinking water from one of the bottles before her. She picked a snack and opened it. She had been curious about how Camden could know people like Clara Oswald and Jack Harkness. Two people that were very different from each other but also from Camden. Too joyful, too flirty. Not that Donna minded Jack flirting with her. “Who?” “Doctor Oswald.” “She wasn’t a doctor when I’ve met her. She was just a little girl.” “Are you that old?” “Oi!” “Just kidding. Relax.” “Her parents owned a paper shop. They had really good stuff. I used to order my notebooks to them and I was coming to get it when I was around. Clara was always playing in the shop. A girl full of energy and always smiling.” “I didn’t know you liked kids.” “I don’t. But she was different.” “That’s what we say.” Camden sighed and went back to work, ignoring Donna’s chuckle. She had had her answer, now they could go back to work. He was currently reading a report from the early days of the infection. Something dragged his attention. A name. “Wait, isn’t the nickname Missy ringing a bell?” “Nope.” “I’m sure to have seen that name somewhere.” He looked into the files he had already flipped through. This name had appeared somewhere. He remembered it well. He had a very good memory. It wasn’t in a list of names. It was a report. A report from before the infection. Missy or Myrtle Appleton. Sister of Colin Appleton and mad scientist. What was she working on at the moment? He glanced at the different reports he had under his eyes. Xeroderma pigmentosum. Disease of the sun. If you were suffering from this disease, you wouldn’t be able to go out unless it was night and the lights would be a bother. A terrible disease and a very short longevity. “Xeroderma pigmentosum,” he murmured. “Hm.” “There has always been this disease. The disease of the sun. People who can’t stand the ultraviolet lights. They are living a very short life and suffering from multiple complications.” “What’s the link with that Missy?” “Myrtle Appleton was a specialist of this disease. She was leading researches to find a cure.” “Was?” “Her methods weren’t very conventional.” And this was why she had been sacked from the lab she was working in and the reason why she had been forced to continue her researches in the deepest secret. If there was a path to follow for their mission, it was clearly this one…
To be continued...
Ghost of you © | 2017 - 2018 | Tous droits réservés.
×××
In the next chapter:
However, for Maxence, things were getting complicated. His brain seemed to have switched to a standby mode. A sort of sleep that wasn’t really sleep. He was just laying there with his eyes closed. Zachary was keeping an eye on his vital signs. His brain activity had reduced to the minimum, to the very minimum. If Zach didn’t have the other information under his eyes, he would think that the man was dead or about to be. Maybe he was dying. Zachary wasn’t very qualified on this field but he was clever enough to understand that something was wrong. The vital signs weren’t good at all. He entered an alert on their interactive group work. Someone needed to come and do a check up on him. Just to be sure that the fake cure given to him wasn’t having any effect on him anymore. Just a precaution not to lose him all of a sudden.
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#doctor who#ninth doctor#rose tyler#tenth doctor#jack harkness#doctor x rose#ficandchips#ghost of you
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(1/2)I've completely lost my ability to focus right now, except for hearing Dean saying, "You're awesome, sweetheart," on a loop. I've reread your many treatises on the subject, finally finding the one where someone asked you, "If not sweetheart, then what?" You seemed to believe that he would use "baby" or "sweetiepie" because of his love of his car and pie. I would object to both of these, because I believe that, for him, both Baby and Pie are proper names. (Brother and Angel similarly so, but
Cursing my name? For reals!?
Nah, I kid. I know it’s not hate. And I do apologize, RE: that first part - I obviously was not clear, that’s on me. ‘Cause those ain’t my recommendations. Noooo.
I wanted to convey that it was interesting to me how, putting aside that he only uses “sweetheart” sincerely for Baby & Colt, even if he was using it as an endearment for, um, living things of a twue lurve nature, well….
Dude don’t use it all that often. Not when we compare it to things he no doubt, balls-to-the-wall loves, such as the Impala and pie [and alcohol, but “my lil’ whiskey sour” don’t quite do it for tinglin’ the nethers]. Thus, it got a raised eyebrow from me, how people don’t seem to have the knee-jerk of “sweetiepie” or “babydoll”, derivatives of things he does talk about/refer to adoringly on the reg. Tell me if that’s not making sense, I’ll work on phrasing it better.
Now, having said that - imagining either of those coming out of Dean’s mouth makes me wanna throw up, go eat, throw that up, then mainline Pepto so I can do it all over again til the thought is purged from my person.
All right. Let’s build a profile on Dean’s behavior & verbiage with legitimate love interests, based on what we know from canon, then see if we can’t drill down on a plausible nickname or two.
On an aside, I titled the document containing the draft of what’s below “Endeanments” and I hate myself.
Here’s how this breaks down in my head, so that’s how it’s laid out below. Should the Mrs. or anyone reading this wanna skip ahead, you do you. Scroll til you see the heading.
I. Thing Of The First: What Do We Want & What Do We KnowII. Which Romantic Interests Do We Focus On?III. What Are We Looking For & When We Find It, What Do We Do?IV. What Else Do We Have At Our Disposal To Flesh Out Our Profile Of “Dean In Love"’s Verbiage?V. Thing Of The Second: Nash On Nicknames/Endearments For Unnamed Characters - A.K.A.: Where I’m coming from on this, just so’s y’all can do the whole “Consider the source” thingVI. What Has Worked In The Nashhole Writing RoomVII. Thoughts On The Examples Given In The Ask VIII. Nash’s Three Key Pieces Of Advice For Pulling This Off
And Before We Get Cranking, RE: That Other Post
So here’s the meat & potatoes of what I said when somebody asked my thoughts on what Dean would use as a genuine term of endearment:
I’d bet money that for the actual contenders [both the ones I haven’t yet researched & the nonexistents/potential true loves/soulmates/blahblahblahs], they’d most assuredly be friends first, they will not be a hunter [not a hunter proper, at least, though knowledge of is not a deal-breaker], and any endearment is gonna be something that’s a riff on their name [a la “Sammy” or “Cas”] or related to a specific situation….. she knocks over the sugar bowl, so she’s “Sugar” until enough glares shut that shit down…. things like that.
I. Thing Of The First: What Do We Want & What Do We Know
This whole shebang is based upon the premise that an author gives a shit about accurate characterization of Dean within the context of a legit romantic relationship.
We gotta have a profile in mind regarding the broad strokes of what this chick would be like if our writing of his behavior/the things he says - such as, ta-da! an endearment - is gonna ring true.
All we can know is what’s in canon, and bless the wiki and all their transcripts because no one has to re-watch all the seasons to answer this. #hallelujah
II. Which Romantic Interests Do We Focus On?
The bed-‘em-and-book-it chicks are ruled out, see above, RE: legit love premise.
In the draft of the answer to the other Q that’s referenced in the Q linked above, I have it fleshed out more than I do here - although it’s not completely episode/quote-by-quote sourced - so if y'all wanna know the reasoning behind why I deem these four and only these four ladies of the “legit, Dean was really into them/this had the potential for true love” category, I can share it, but I can’t promise when.
I have no idea if he had an endearment for any or all of these ladies, is my point, y'all feel free to do the deep dive in that respect,
----> ETA later: We did the deep dive. He called Lisa “Honey” when she was dying; unrelated but kind’ve, when he was pretending to be Bela’s husband and she fake-choked on shellfish (also “dying”), he called her “Honey”, too. There ya go.
I stand by these chosen few and the order in which I’ve placed them, the reasons why have to do with character autopsies I do/have done for my big story, ergo would have to be another post or fourteen. Moving on.
Here’s my ranking for “Legit, Dean Totes Felt Something” characters:
4. Jo3. Cassie2. Lisa1. Carmen
All of these ladies, no matter if nothing ever got off the ground [Jo] to the what-might-have-been [Cassie] to the long-term relationship [Lisa] to the dream ideal [Carmen] have some stark, can’t-miss-‘em, key characteristics in common [intelligent, mature, value family, etc.] but I won’t go into that here.
They’re as solid a guide as we’ve got right now, and not just for doing this nickname postulation exercise - I’d also recommend peeps who wanna reeeeeally drill down on an O/C love for Dean to utilize these characters as a jumping off point. R/Is are, of course, going to be [::coughs:: should be] more nebulous in their attributes.
Take home message is that he had a great deal of respect for all of them, so anything that would have to depend on tone because it walks a fine line, you may wanna axe it from the list as an everyday sub for their name.
III. What Are We Looking For & When We Find It, What Do We Do?
You are looking for any nicknames/endearments he assigned to them.
If he did use an endearment with them, do the following:
(1) Which of those 4 is your Dean love interest most like?
(2) Picture Dean calling your character whatever endearment he called them
(3) How’d that work out for you?
And if not, to speculate upon what he would say….. guess what?
(1) Which of those 4 is your Dean love interest most like?
(2) Picture Dean calling them whatever endearment you’ve chosen
(3) How’d that work out for you?
That is your litmus test. Wash, rinse repeat.
IV. What Else Do We Have At Our Disposal To Flesh Out Our Profile Of “Dean In Love"’s Verbiage?
Plenty.
We’ve got the ability to make the profile more robust because of the cooooooooopious amount of evidence on the flip side, what he zeroes in on with the bed-’em-and-book-it type of gal, what his verbiage is like with them, the peeps he doesn’t intend on keeping around for long.
Bonus: that recent ep of what he was like under a love spell. Take what we saw, scale down the intensity, fiddle with it where appropriate - meaning, ‘86 anything that was alike in all the men they charmed, as that isn’t evidence of “Dean In Love” coming to the surface, it’s evidence of the spell’s structure so as to elicit specific behaviors in victims.
Second thing you can look at in terms of nicknaming habits are people for whom he has no romantic inclinations. The easiest cases in point being Sam and Castiel, a.k.a. Sammy and Cas. Off the top of my head, for whatever reason, I recall him calling Gadreel “Zeke” prior to the stolen identity reveal.
So Dean’s a “-y” adder and a name-shortener, consistently with Sam and Castiel, however many times with Ezekiel/Gadreel, and there’s likely more examples, godspeed on that research journey, I ain’t your girl.
I am also 100% - and I know y’all are, too - that he’s a biiiiiiig proponent of situational nicknaming, and while it’s usually snark [think “Batman” for himself, “Harry Potter” for Mick, etc.] it still goes to pattern. I’ve got so many of these in the CASPN decks, it’s unreal, and maaany, possibly most, of them - as noted just now - are TV/movie/music/book-related. [I know this because I’m trying to pull them out as I go to stick them in their own “Deanisms” deck, because if the decks ever go “public” for sale, they can’t have copyrighted content in them]
Again: here we’re looking at a broad stroke in his verbiage, to get a feel of his go-tos, his habits in what he calls others.
V. Thing Of The Second: Nash On Nicknames/Endearments For Unnamed Characters - A.K.A.: Where I’m coming from on this, just so’s y’all can do the whole “Consider the source” thing
I don’t lean into the whole nickname thing. It’s not a purposeful effort, as in, I’m policing myself or when I edit I’m taking them out. It’s just not a reflexive brain-to-keyboard thing for me. I don’t often have characters calling each other by name/nickname/endearment, particularly when it’s just 2 people in a convo, unless it’s a heated convo, a la “DAMMIT NASH!” and “EAT ME, SHITBIRD!”
Longer the fic, trickier this gets. Somebody’s gonna have to address our nameless-faceless protag at some point, and as has been established copiously during my tenure in this fandom, I hope Y/N and her pouty, lip-nibbling, everything-she-does-including-fart-is-done-softly self would die in a fire, ceiling optional, so believe me: I *do* co-sign substitute monikers.
It’s too far to scroll up, here’s what I said about his nicknaming pattern —>
and any endearment is gonna be something that’s a riff on their name [a la “Sammy” or “Cas”] or related to a specific situation….. she knocks over the sugar bowl, so she’s “Sugar” until enough glares shut that shit down…. things like that.
We talked above about him riffing on the person’s name. The situational thing I mentioned - I’ll tell y’all what I did for this, RE: the sticky wicket of when it’s a mini-series/series. [Personally? I think most one-shots can dodge this issue altogether, though certainly YMMV]
VI. What Has Worked In The Nashhole Writing Room
Now, I haaaaated writing the smut thing of mine when I lost a bet, so I plotted it to hell to keep my sanity, and it expanded to 5 g.d. parts. The smut part of it is *riddled* with the tripest tropes that ever troped [part of said bet’s terms], so I’m talking about the story part of it here.
Dean and the protag had a touch-and-go, volatile sitch going on for the bulk of it, ergo chances high due to intense emotions that somebody at some point was gonna have to address each other in at least a tense manner, if not one of anger.
And she was tough as nails, a sniper called in to assist them on a hunt, and she would’ve ended him if he dared call her anything even in the realm of too cutesy-shmoopsy on the reg. It would be in conflict with what I’d built her up to be, bottom line, and likely suck the readers out of the story.
Here’s the dodge I came up with, keeping in mind the situation is she’s a sniper:
“So, we have a decision to make,” Dean said through a partially chewed bite of his burger.
Was he actively trying to be gross? He thankfully swallowed before continuing.
“I’m not in the mood to drive all the way back to Jody’s, then have to share a bed with Sam in her guest room,” Dean began.
Okay. He was talking to me.
“I think the best thing to do is head to the bunker—”
I looked to him, aghast.
“—and we’ve got plenty of room, we can pick up a toothbrush for you when we stop to fill up—”
Did he not notice the big black bulky thing I’d thrown in the back floorboard when they picked me up? I was never not prepared. There was already a toothbrush in my backpack. And a change of clothes.
And a Glock.
“—then we’ll all be fresh daisies, get you home tomorrow. Whaddya say, Snipes?”
Oh god. He’d nicknamed me. Had my letting him win a staring contest actually infused him with enough bravado to try and make friends? Convince me to stay in what Jody had described as essentially a really large basement?
They end up in love - but the sub for her name isn’t lovey-dovey, and it doesn’t have to be, the dynamic between them is vastly more important [more on that later].
In another one in the ol’ draft folder - and it’s not a romantic dynamic, but the nickname dodge happens because she’s unnamed - here’s how that’s gonna work. In an earlier scene, it’s mentioned that Dean was giving her a hard time via the Patsy Cline song “I Fall To Pieces” [spoiler alert: it’s the story based upon THIS thing, you’re smart cookies, you’ll get the reasoning behind it]
And you’d remember. It’s not something you’d forget. I know this because no one else has. Dean still calls me “Cline” - let me rephrase - he bellows it, with glee and snort-laughs, though I suppose there’s worse things to be called. He’s called me those, too, over the years, he doesn’t disappoint. And Sam still narrows his eyes at left my knee, watches my gait for any unevenness or wobbles, and it doesn’t matter what I say, he’ll believe he messed up the articulation til the end of days.
Tangentially-related, in “Build Me Up, Buttercup” - the nutty AU-ish thing that actually started because I was riffing on the sweetheart situation and it mutated - there’s a chunk of conversation between The Woman In Black/The Masked Vampirate/The Apprentice [—-> hint, hint, hint: we *can* refer to folks without using a name/nickname] and Dean on this very topic, of what we call others in lieu of their given names. Mini-spoiler: Even though she’s written 3rd person O/C, and even though she does end up as someone’s love interest, you’re never gonna know her name.
Not spoilers, because these stories are already “out there”, you also never learned/will never learn the names of the chicks in Hello, I’m Gone; The Lore You Know; It; The Once Demon Barber From Robintree; A Delicate Desiccation; The Bell-Watcher’s Daughter; A Fluff By Any Other Name; and who friggin’ knows what-all in the stack of quickies I’ve accumulated.
VII. Thoughts On The Examples Given In The Ask
Back to what you said….. and shit, Imma c/p it here, if anybody’s made it this damn far, I won’t ask they scroll up:
All right, in no particular order, just as things hit me…..
It’s about 7:30 a.m. here in Nashland, this is rotten and off the top of my head, but I could totes picture seeing pumpkin in a Halloween fluff, like - something happens with a pumpkin, it’s dropped or she slices open her hand trying to carve it, is like “[something something] and don’t start calling me pumpkin” and he’s like “Nah…. Punk.” ‘Cause, again - he loves a situational riff & he’s a shortener.
Agreed on princess, I co-sign your gut, he’d say it sneery/as a cut-down on someone who’s afraid to dig in, get a little dirt in the skirt on a hunt or something.
Darlin’ is tricky, because Dean’s not Southern/doesn’t have a drawl unless a touch of Jensen slips out…. and honestly, he’s not got much of an accent from what I’ve heard, though remember that’s going through a Dixieland filter, so consider the source. Might I offer a sub for it? See how “doll” works.
Well, honey’s hitting closer to sounding like him. I’d go “hon”, though, RE: being a shortener. “Hey, hon?” is more casual than “Honey”, and “Honey” also might run the risk of popping a reader back to… [forgive the Rocket inclusion]:
Full quote is “Honey, there ain’t no other men like me.”, but y’all knew that. It’s not on the OH HELL NO list for me, Honey/Hon’s definitely a contender.
But speaking of pinging my “OH HELL NO” radar -
[gasps] Oh, Whoozies…. oh my Whatsis…. sugarplum?
[shakes head vehemently]
* UNLESS* Y/N is a violet-hued fairy in ballet slippers, and they are battling a baby-chomping sentient Nutcracker. But even then, he’d call her ‘Plums.
Sweetie… hmmmm….. you know what might be worth a go? “Sweets”. I could hear “Hey, Sweets” coming out of his mouth. If you could figure a way to make it a lesser of two evils, that’s even better, like…. he pats her on the ass and calls her “sweetcheeks” and she’s all “Oh, but no”, so he downshifts to “sweets”.
“Puddin’“….. erm….. My knee-jerk is no. If it were suuuuper situational, perhaps. I’m drawing a blank on what the situation would be, though, because my mind immediately pops to that episode at the spa…. I just….
I’m hearing it in my mind as if somebody was writing a story where it’s basically a re-hash of that episode - Oh but (tee-hee) this time Y/N got the roofied pudding, and now Dean’s gonna drive her nuts never letting her forget it! Tune in for next week’s episode of Supernatural, guest starring Ordinary McTypical-Chick as Puddin’! [/announcer voice] [cue laugh track], and then I’m all……
Round up on the “Give ‘Er A Try” list:
Honey —> sure why not; “hon” may be better
Sweetie —> ehhhh, probably situational; “sweets” could be worth a try
Pumpkin —-> sooooo situational; and if go there, would 100% roll it into “punk”
Darlin’ —> ehhhh; “doll” suggested sub
….and wasn’t mentioned, but unless it works your personal nerves, from my POV, “babe” doesn’t pull me out of the story if it sneaks into Dean’s dialogue, a la “Hey, babe? You already toss some shells into the trunk?”
Nash’s Three Key Pieces Of Advice For Pulling This Off
1. Who is this person on the receiving end of the nickname - know this, and it’ll narrow down your choices;
2. Do it like Dean: if they have a name, go “-y” or shorten it, or take a situation/circumstance and spin it;
and, possibly the most important -
3. Limit, limit, limit
Make your own parameters for amount of times this is happening in a given piece. I’m just throwing #s - like, = 500 = 0, 501 - 1K = 1, 1.1K - 2.5K = 2, something like that. Take away the pressure of it by making “rules” and you’re free to get your brain back to the story.
Because here it is, y’all - and I’ve said this in other posts - the best thing you can do for yourself or for those you beta is to stop after every scene or paragraph or page or “x” amount of words, whatever your pref is, and ask yourself about what you’ve just read/written:
Who cares? - A.K.A.: Is ____ advancing the plot/the interpersonal dynamics, or not?
Regarding non-nickname stuff: Does it matter that we know about her morning routine? That she had oatmeal because she was out of bagels? The make and model of her car? Her co-workers’ names? Her co-workers at all? What her cat is like? What her cat is named? Her cat at all?
And the same applies here: Does an endearment matter in this particular sentence/moment? I care about the relationships between/amongst the characters, how well they’re grooving with each other [or not], how that weaves together, how it’s integral to the plot, how it impacts the action/the task, how it plays into the climax and resolution [or lack thereof].
Is it ideal to have things coming out of the mouths of the characters we all know ring true? Absolutely. And that’s the other “who cares” here: BIG cares if things that are “un-Dean” creep in. As the adage goes: “When in doubt, don’t”.
So, when stuck on this element, figure out something else to do with the sentence…. and I’d start with 86′ing the nickname. Bet you money most of the time, the message of the sentence will read exactly the same.
You got this.
Thanks for the Q, hope I helped in some fashion and that the curses either wane, or perhaps reach new, interesting heights and volumes, depending on the level of said helpfulness.
#Dear Nash#mrswhozeewhatsis#Let me call you sweetheart#Dean's Dream Gal#and what's in a name#gotta know who they are#and what they're about#and what his normal#patterns are in general#you got this#Nash Advises#Writing Tips#Queueby Dooby Doo#Dad's on a blog post and#he hasn't been queued in a few days#ok fine#Endeanments#why not
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