#with Gale they don't even need to talk; they just sit in silence

[invinciblerodent]

Since nothing and no one is going to stop me from giving all my hobbies to my characters, I've decided that Arvid sews and crochets in the evenings

He was raised at a monastery, so he kinda has more domestic skills than average, and the healer usually tends to be a more caring character anyway, so Everyone's Dwarf Dad(dy) not only has a fanny pack full of fantasy fruit snacks and shoulders perfect for crying on, he also happily fixes clothes and WILL make everyone a (kinda crooked) scarf, just in case it gets chilly

[feyascorner]

at the end of the day

summary. you and astarion have your first genuine fight and the other companions try to patch things between the two of you.

warnings. comfort/fluff

pairing. Astarion x GN!Reader

a/n. have not written an actual one-shot in a while omg,...

Breakfast is eaten in silence. One that's been extending far past its welcome date now.

Shadowheart grips her fork, feeling the flitting glances exchanged amongst the others around the table while she maintains focus on the two individuals sitting on opposite sides of the table. Your eyes remain trained on the bread sitting on your plate and Astarion swirls his chalice aimlessly in his hand, neither of you even acknowledging the presence of the other. The cleric grimaces as you stand suddenly, your chair scraping against the floor as you do so.

"Thanks for the food, Gale," is all you mutter before leaving the room with your plate in hand. Astarion rises from his own chair in an instant, huffing.

"I must take my leave as well."

When both parties have left the room, all five other companions stare at one another in a knowing silence. Lae'zel is the only one who doesn't seem the slightest bothered. Wyll is the one to break the uncomfortable tension in the air, clearing his throat after Lae'zel nearly bites her fork off. "I see they're still amidst their lovers' quarrel."

"What are they even fighting about?" Karlach groans, slumping into her chair with an exasperated groan.

"It was nice the first few days to have a good night's sleep without their incessant noises," Shadowheart grumbles, shoving an egg into her mouth. "But now, this is arguable worse."

"Should we...aid them somehow?" Gale blinks.

Lae'zel snorts. "They're adults, we don't need to coddle them, wizard."

Despite her words, they do find themselves a few hours later in unanimous agreement to do something to ease the unfamiliar dryness of the camp dynamic. It comes in multiple attempts. And to say few---if not all--were unsuccessful, is an understatement.

First, when out in the woods, Gale makes an effort to spark a conversation that would prompt both you and Astarion to join in. You nod occasionally, though lost in thought, while Astarion promptly ignores whatever he's talking about. It's a pathetic attempt that has nobody but himself babbling away, which earns a grunt from Shadowheart. It's enough to shut him up, thankfully.

Second, Karlach uses her uncanny ability to lift someone's spirits. Jokes, dancing, all that jazz. Even booze. She urges you to let loose, but all you do in response is smile at her apologetically while Astarion just glares off into space. Another failed attempt. Lae'zel pats Karlach on the shoulder.

Wyll tells stories of his monster hunting days which you usually take an interest in. Astarion naturally listens to what a monster hunter does when he's not hunting monsters, but that's all it is. You and Astarion only listen. There are quips and lingering questions, but neither of you ever direct it at one another, or bother to add into the conversation either. The sheer amount of teasing questions has Wyll's head spinning by the end of it. Lae'zel rolls her eyes.

Just when things couldn't possibly get any worse, you're ambushed. It's a small horde of goblins---nothing beyond your capabilities, but your companions do take some small scratches here and there. Somehow, though he rarely does, as he prefers staying behind you or Karlach, Astarion does too. And despite his efforts to hide it behind his back, you also didn't miss the cut lining Astarion's arm to his elbow. It's not deep by any means, and if it were your own injury, you'd likely just brush it off.

But it's on his skin, and he'd gotten it when taking a hit from an arrow that should've cut your arm.

Blasted hells, you think, as he shrugs it off. Even when you can clearly see him clenching his jaw to bite away the pain.

If battle won't be the end of you, you're sure your idiot of a boyfriend might be instead.

"Come here, you fool," you mutter, holding out your hand. He doesn't even consider the fact that you're mad at one another and immediately extends his arm to you. Habits, you suppose.

You mumble out a weak scolding as he watches you wrap the wound through his lashes. He shivers as you lather a cool ointment on the cut, hoping it's enough to soothe the pain before Shadowheart's recovered enough to properly heal him. He lifts a pale hand to your face, and for a moment, you think he might pinch you. Instead, he runs a thumb across your cheek, spreading the ointment on a scratch you hadn't even realized was there in the first place.

You meet his eyes, your own softening as he cups his fingertips around your cheek. The way he looks at you is overwhelming sometimes---like you're the only thing he gives a damn about in this world---but it's a welcome feeling when he hasn't even looked you in the eye this way in days now. For a moment, you realize you don't even remember why the two of you were mad at one another in the first place.

A laugh threatens to escape your throat. How childish, truly.

And then he flicks your forehead, unable to help the grin etching onto his lips when you blink in surprise.

"That was for making me sleep by myself for three nights."

You swat at his arm while he dodges each of your lazy attempts to get back at him. And though the two of you continue bickering, unbeknownst to you, you have an audience a good bit away, watching you return to your old ways after making them worry for so long.

"What a sight it is--to see young people in love again," Wyll smiles.

Shadowheart deadpans. "Isn't Astarion nearing 240?"

"Who cares?" Karlach shrugs, slinging her arms on either side of her companions with a toothy beam. "What matters is that they made up...and we didn't even have to help them."

[lendeah]

Bubbles and battle wounds

Prompt: Astarion comforts you after a bad day featuring a bathtub.

Pairing: Astarion x GN!Reader

Words: 1.3k

Tags: fluff, hurt/comfort.

The day had been brutal, filled with never-ending battles against a seemingly endless enemies. Karlach, Wyll, Gale and yourself had fought tirelessly, your bodies pushed to the brink of exhaustion and beyond. But even during such chaos, there was one failure that weighed heavily on your mind - the gnomes at the factory who died despite your best efforts. The guilt gnawed at you relentlessly as you stumbled back to the Elfsong Tabern, your body battered and bruised. You didn't even have the strength or will to say goodbye to the rest of your companions before heading to Astarion's bed. The elf lies stretched out on the bed, with his eyes glued to a book. Despite this, you know that he is still aware of your presence as he raises a brow.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here? Looks like someone's had quite the day," he says with a sly grin. "Do tell me all about it. Who did you fight? Did you put up a good fight?"

He slowly sits up on the bed, his gaze traveling up and down your body before finally resting on your face. His expression shifts from curiosity to concern as he takes in your appearance. Your legs tremble uncontrollably, a clear indication that something is seriously wrong.

“I-I need a bath,” you say, on the verge of tears.

He gets up from his bed and walks over to you, placing a hand on your arm to steady you with preoccupation etched on his face. "Of course, my dear. Let me help you," he says, his voice soothing and comforting.

You quietly make your way to the bathroom, and you feel like in a daze. Astarion's arm is securely wrapped around your waist as he supports your trembling body. Every step feels like a struggle, so you are grateful for his assistance. The room is small but cozy, with a large tub taking up most of the space. A faint smell of lavender fills the air, calming your nerves slightly.

Without a word, Astarion begins to run a bath for you, carefully adjusting the temperature to your liking. He then gestures for you to sit on the edge of the tub as he helps you out of your armor and clothes. He seems to be searching for any wounds on your body, but doesn't seem to find anything too serious. You feel vulnerable and exposed under his gaze, but also comforted by his familiar presence.

Once you are fully bare, you get into the bathtub, hugging your knees to your chest and sobbing slightly. He also undresses and gets in the tub behind you, having you between his legs. Your mind is filled with images of the battle you just fought, and the guilt and pain are overwhelming.

After a few seconds, you feel his hands on your back, gently massaging and washing away the dirt and grime from your skin. His touch is tender and soothing, making the tension in your body slowly melt away. You lean into his touch, grateful for his presence.

"Do you want to talk about it, my love?" he finally asks in a gentle voice, breaking the silence.

You shake your head, tears now falling freely down your face. "I couldn't save them," you say between sobs. "They trusted me and I couldn't save them."

He leans forward and wraps his arms around you from behind, pulling your body close to his chest. You feel his familiar cold and soft skin, slowly calming your racing heart. "It's not your fault," he whispers in your ear. "You did everything you could."

But you can't help but feel responsible. You had promised to protect them, and yet they fell in battle while you survived. It feels like a betrayal of their trust in you. You sigh, laying your head on your knees again. He starts massaging your hair and scalp and you feel the tension start to leave your body, as the water around you both turns brown with blood and grime.

"You don't always have to be strong for others," he whispers softly. "It's okay to let yourself grieve."

You nod slowly, letting out a shaky breath. The sobs come out in full force now, racking your body with each wave of pain and sadness. Astarion holds onto you tighter, whispering words of comfort as he lets you cry it out. Eventually, your tears run dry and you lay there spent and exhausted.

As Astarion continues massaging your scalp, he notices the water turning brown with grime and blood. He frowns slightly.

"Let me take care of this," he says softly before pouring some fresh water into the bathtub to replace the dirty water.

You watch him silently as he steps back in, and resumes carefully washing your hair, his touch gentle and soothing. The newly warm water and the smell of soap lull you into a state of relaxation, and you close your eyes.

"You have beautiful hair," he comments, running his fingers through the strands.

You open your eyes and turn to look at him, surprised by his words. "Thank you," you say softly.

When he is finished, he pulls you back toward his chest, embracing you. He nuzzles his nose against your cheek affectionately before pulling back slightly to look into your eyes. "Even with bruises and blood, you manage to be the most captivating sight I've ever beheld," he says sincerely.

Turning around in his embrace, your arms instinctively wrap around his neck, pulling him closer as you hold on tightly, hugging him in response. Astarion's hands move from your hair to your back, caressing your skin gently. He leans in and presses a soft kiss against your shoulder, his lips lingering for a moment. "You truly are a wonder, my dear," he whispers, his voice filled with sincerity. "Even amid chaos and despair, your spirit remains unyielding. It's no wonder I am utterly infatuated with you."

His words wash over you like a balm, soothing the ache in your heart. With Astarion by your side, the weight of the world feels just a little lighter. Leaning against Astarion's chest, you let out a contented sigh. "Thank you," you whisper softly. "For being here."

His arms tighten around you, pulling you impossibly closer. "You don't have to carry it all alone," he murmurs against your ear. "Lean on me when you need to. I'll always be here to catch you."

A small smile tugs at the corners of your lips. You reach up and brush a strand of hair away from his face, your fingers lingering against his cheek. "You should lean into me too," you whisper, feeling a sense of hope blossoming within you.

He smiles softly before leaning closer and pressing his lips to yours. The kiss is gentle yet filled with unspoken emotions. You feel yourself melting into him, reveling in the warmth and safety he provides. Astarion brushes his fingers against your cheek before pulling away. "Let's get out of this grimy water," he says with a smirk, offering you a hand to help you stand up.

Astarion helps you out of the bathtub and wraps a soft towel around you before grabbing one for himself. You both dry off quickly and he leads you to the bed, where he hands you one of his clean shirts.

"Put this on," he says, handing it to you. "We can't have my dear hero looking like a ragamuffin."

You take the shirt from him with a smile, and slip it over your head, reveling in his lingering smell on the piece. Astarion watches you with a smile, clearly pleased with how you look in his clothes.

"Mmm, you're finally looking presentable," he purrs, raking his fingers through your damp hair. "Now, let's get some rest. We have a full day of scheming ahead of us."

You nod in agreement and climb onto the bed, snuggling into the soft blankets. Astarion joins you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you close to him, as his fingers gently trace soothing circles on your back. As you drift off to sleep, you can't help but feel grateful for having Astarion by your side. Despite all the chaos and danger surrounding you both, he brings a sense of peace and comfort that you never knew was possible.

[fuzybby]

May I request headcanons for Astarion, Gale, Wyll, and Halsin with shy gn s/o?

The boys with a shy gn!Reader is here!

You know me, there's a few notes mentioning sex in each companion, but it is mostly fluff! So in that case, MDNI

Astarion:

Probably teases you about how shy you are constantly.

Seems like the kind of guy to tease you in public, pinching you when he comes up behind you to hear you gasp. Enjoying the way your face heats up, envious of the fact your skin can still get hot.

Would also probably be very sweet about you not speaking up, I can see him as the kind of guy to stand up for you, regardless if you're shy or not. Type of man to be like “they asked for no pickles>:(“

If you get anxious when you're loud or have horrible social anxiety, he'd lay back on the teasing in front of people. Teasing in private though? Still on the table. Would love to whisper in your ear and watch you stammer about, trying to find the right words to say.

If you're still at camp, he'd try to get you to make loud noises during sex in his tent. Wants everyone to know he can make you make those noises.

If you make yourself a home with him after the Elder Brain, he'd still love to make you squirm and scream.

Gale:

I LOVE HIM

sorry, that slipped out.

Would probably be so nice about you being shy, speaking up for you when you need it. Hand on your arm or lower back to comfort you when you're speaking.

If you stammer a lot, he would be the most intense listener. Sitting and waiting and enjoying the way you get flustered. Giving you an almost teasing smile that's more genuine than teasing, but he just loves you so so much.

He probably loves to shower you in gifts. Especially if you speak up for yourself in any situation. You managed to tell someone off for being an asshole to you? He is giving you the prettiest piece of jewellery. If you don't wear jewellery, he'll buy you clothes.

Tara also probably loves that you're shy, she can talk your ear off and you can just sit and listen to her rambles. Gale loves watching you two get so close.

Not as teasing during sex as Astarion. But he does love if you make noise. He praises you the entire time, telling you how wonderful you are.

If you're not open to making noise, even during sex, he is totally fine with that. He jokes that he moans enough for the both of you (which may or may not be true).

Wyll:

The most gentlemanly boyfriend in the entire world. Yeah I said it.

Probably wouldn't tease you at all. He'd love that you're so shy and quiet. I can see him as someone who enjoys comfortable silence with each other, so make sure to grab a book or a hobby you can do with him because those will be some of your dates.

All the time, will do those little dances with each other. He knows you're shy so he'll stick to doing it in private. But, you know from his kiss animation, he will twirl you around and watch you giggle from his ministrations.

If he has his horns, I can see him trying to purposely bonk you on the head with them to watch you giggle. This man will do anything to make you laugh. He loves watching you be happy.

Also a gentleman in bed. Does anything and everything to make you feel good first. Again, would love it if you made noise during bed.

But I don't think he's purposely trying to get you to make noise. If you just don't want to, he'll still make sure you enjoy yourself.

I can see him being a little insecure if you're not as loud, wanting to make sure you felt good the entire time. Just make sure you reassure him because he's a sensitive one.

Halsin:

Halsin, Halsin, Halsin, where do I even start.

He would be soooo teasing if you were shy, not as much as Astarion though. He can see him as a mix of both the vampire and the wizard, wanting to tease you but giving you comfort with a hand on your shoulder.

I can see him absentmindedly braiding your hair (if your hair is long enough), that's another one of his ways that he comforts you. Your hair will always be littered with braids. Small or big.

Like Wyll, he enjoys the comfortable silence between the two of you. He likes to sit outside in nature and listen to the sounds of the day. The animals making noise, the creaking of branches, the wind that whistles, he loves it all. And he'd love to enjoy it all with you.

He is always so big, he can't help but stick up for you when you need it. It's like, in his gigantic nature.

He is just so big, it's hard for him to be gentle during sex. I have a feeling you'll probably end up making some noise with him no matter what. Halsin lives to please you. You will be screaming (or at least, moaning much louder than you would normally) by the end of the night with him.

He's a big ol' teddy bear. Give this man hugs at every moment of the day. If you get overwhelmed with people, hug this man. Your worries will slip away instantly.

[faerunnn]

Pain.

Before we get started, i have not written ANYTHING in over 10 years, so please, bear with me. I felt the need for some Astarion angst. You getting hurt, him confessing deep and true feelings. You get the drill. Please let me know your thoughts and feedback!! It is greatly appreciated :D

Astarion x GN (dark urge) TAV

Trigger warnings: Mentions of suicide, please please PLEASE read with caution. And know you are not alone <3

Word count: 2040 (sorry it is on the shorter side)

It was cold. Dark. The ultimate void. There was nothing here, only darkness, emptiness, for the first time in your life you felt truly alone. But the void came with a certain peace. The silence is a refreshing change of surroundings. Alone at last. No more bickering, no more painful thoughts and memories, no more tadpole. It was almost like you were relieved. Was this really the blissful ending you have been yearning for? You didn't even feel like you were missing anyone or anything. It was just you. At rest. At peace.

Just when you started getting used to the feeling of true peace, you felt yourself being pulled away from it. Like you were being sucked out of the bliss, pulled back into a life you did not want to live anymore. It had been too much. There had been too much loss, and even for you, there was a limit to what you could handle. There seemed no ending to the pains, the fights, the conflict within you. A darker force urging you to walk down a path you did not want to follow. You were able to resist some of its urges, but there were too many times where you  blacked out, woke up and were covered in blood. The lives of countless innocent souls burned your hands.This was the only way out. But now you were being pulled back. 

Gasping for air, you try to lift yourself to the surface, only to realize you weren't there anymore. You were not in the water, but on land, surrounded by 6 very worried faces. Unable to properly catch your breath and too embarrassed to make eye contact, you hastily get up and try to walk away. Shadowheart wants to get up and follow after you but Gale steps in front of her.

 ‘’Let them be for a second.’’ You can hear him say to her while the sounds of their worried voices get more silent by the second. Unable to contain your feelings and emotions any longer you try to kick a big rock into the water. Angry, that you failed. Upset, that they found you. Raged, for the voices are back in your head, urging you to let off some steam in the form of a bloodbath. A single tear rolls down your cheek as you lift your foot to the rock. It is simply too large to just kick, you cry out a little as your foot makes contact and the rock simply just stays put. You drop to your knees, head in your hands in a desperate attempt to just force the voices out with all the power you have collected in your body. A soft sob leaves your lips as you realize that this is an impossible task. There is no cure lying in the palms of your hands.

‘’That rock seemed a bit too large to just kick.’’ A soft voice behind you says. You don't have to look over your shoulder to see who it is. You stay put, but rest your head on your arms while they are propped up on your knees. A small sniffle escapes your mouth as you try to somewhat calm down. You feel your tadpole squirm behind your eye. He is trying to probe your mind, trying to figure out what the hell just happened. You frown, not in the mood to talk about anything right now and block as much of yourself off as you can in your fragile state. But him being him, you know he can peak through the cracks of your already cracked walls. No matter how high you put them up. 

‘’We can talk about it, you know?’’ He says, sitting down next to you. ‘’We don’t have to of course, but this is a bit dramatic. Don’t you think?’’

You can almost hear the smirk in his tone, knowing he is trying to lighten the mood in a situation he also knows is very serious. You shrug, unable to  really comprehend a full sentence without letting your emotions take over. 

‘’I didn’t want to fight anymore.’’ You say after a few moments of comfortable silence. Finally being able to look up at him after voicing your thoughts. You are met with worried red eyes. ‘’I didn’t think i would be a valuable asset to this group, hells, to this life anymore.’’ 

He looks at you but stays silent, giving you space to explain further.

 

‘’The only thing I can think about is death. It is all we seem to face, surrounding us everywhere. No matter the situation. The voices in my head, they’re only getting stronger after each kill. Justified or not, I have way too much blood on my hands. I didn't want to contribute anymore. There was no other ending for me here anyway. We will die by these tadpoles in our heads, or by my urges. I don't want to be a liability anymore. We have been through enough, don't you agree?’’ You look at Astarion with watery eyes, but not giving in to the satisfaction of fully crying. Just letting the tears linger there for a moment. He hums in agreement. 

‘’ We indeed have been through a lot. It has not always been a walk in the park, so to speak. But there is more out there. More people who can help you, who can cure you.’’ He says while not breaking eye contact. ‘’Besides, imagine how boring it is going to be for me when you are not around anymore. I can’t imagine being stuck with the rest of them for the remainder of however long this journey is going to take.’’

 

You smile a little at his comment, breaking eye contact and looking out on the river, seeing Baldurs gate in the far distance, bright lights from bustling streets.

‘’I just wish things were different, you know.’’ You say, sadness lingering on your voice.

 

‘’I know. I wish they were different too.’’ Astarion says softly, with a small sigh.

‘’Do you think we would have met each other if this were not to have happened to us?’’ You ask out of nowhere.

“Maybe. It is a big city after all.’’ He says.

Looking back at him you see him staring at the city the same way you were just a moment ago. His white locks perfectly curled around his face, a light smile resting on his lips and his skin looking even more ethereal in the moonlight. He truly was such a beautiful being. You might not have known each other prior to the events of the tadpole but a part of you hopes you will remain in touch after all of this is over. You look back at Baldur's Gate before being caught staring at him, sitting together in a comfortable silence. The only sounds you hear are the distant fire back at the campsite and the water that is breaching the shore of the river in front of you. You enjoy the combination of soft, gentle sounds, somehow feeling a little bit more at peace. The voices seemingly have backed off out of your mind, for now.

 

‘’You really scared me.’’ Astarion says after a while, a delectable sadness lingering on his voice.. ‘’I thought I really lost you, for good.’’

You can feel his eyes boring into the side of your head but you are too embarrassed to make eye contact. Your eyes lower to the sand and gravel at your feet, unable to really know what to say to that.

‘’I know I cannot take away the pain for you, but god's darling, if there was a way I could, I would in an instant. I want you to know that no matter what happens, no matter what situation we are being put in, I will be there. And would I risk a knife in my back when I'm asleep? Maybe. But i think if you wanted to hurt me, really hurt me, you already would have by now. This, this is not you. I know you. You are the sole reason my heart is aflame, lit up, every single day. I know this sounds selfish, but I really am not ready to let you go. And I know deep down you are not ready to let go either.’’ He turns his position and takes your hands in his. Finally being able to meet his stare, you notice his eyes are just as glassy as yours. He was being truthful. Nothing of what he just said was deceiving. Some tears roll down your cheeks as he lifts his hand and wipes them away for you.

 

‘’I am sorry.’’ You softly say. A soft sob escaping from your lips.

 

‘’You don't have to apologize. There's no need. Just promise me that you will talk to me? About anything. Anything and everything that is bothering you from this moment forward. You do not need to face these demons alone, not anymore.’’ He looks almost desperate. You nod in agreement. He gives you a soft smile and cups your cheek. Staring deeply into each other's eyes before emerging into a tight embrace. A hug so deep, one that can heal almost all wounds. One you didn't know you so desperately longed for until you were experiencing it. You cry out on his shoulder while he rubs your lower back with one hand and holds your head soft but firmly against his form. 

Lingering on for quite some time, you finally break free from the embrace. You need rest. Looking over your shoulder to the camp, you see that everyone has already gone to bed. You give Astarion a look and as he gets up he reaches out his hand for you. You take it and as he helps you up you notice your body is much weaker than you thought. Now that the adrenaline of the whole situation has worn off. You stumble into him as he catches you before you could hurt yourself, again. A small, but so much more meaningful gesture that now has a lot more meaning to it that it had before the events of tonight. As you both walk towards your tent, he has his hand on your lower back and the other is holding your arm that he draped around his shoulders. Making sure you got to your bed safely. 

When you reach your tent you try to take off the layers of damp and clammy clothes. It was not by any means cold outside, but the fabrics still clung to your skin in the humid climate. Your body not being able to put enough strength together to take them off yourself, you sigh and almost drop to your knees again, in frustration and sadness. Astarion not having left your side, catching up on your emotions and softly and oh so gently starts removing the layers of fabrics. You lean into his touch, missing it when he is not gracing your skin with his gentle touch. And then it hits you.

Safe. You felt safe. A feeling so overwhelming, one you haven’t felt in so long. One you craved for so long. You felt it, now, in this moment. And maybe have been feeling it for a while. Ever since he confessed his feelings for you, and you confessed yours for him. Ever since he started looking out for you instead of looking back for himself. Small gestures with big impacts, you never truly recognised them. Never truly appreciated them, until now. In this moment, you felt it all. The way he was caring for you, how gentle, understanding and cautious he was. He did it because he wants you to feel safe. And you do. A space he created, just for you to let your guard down. An effort no one has made for you. A gesture so big that you almost couldn't comprehend how much this man cares for you. 

As you put on your sleeping garb, you turn around and look at him. 

‘’Thank you. For everything.’’ You say with a soft smile. He smiles back at you. Genuinely. ‘’Will you please stay here with me tonight?’’

 

‘’I will stay with you every night, for as long as you will have me. Darling.’’ 

[grapesplease]

i love you (i'm sorry)

astarion x half-drow!male!bard! tav

sum. altair has a panic attack in the underdark (being an ex-slave does that to you) and astarion is the one who keeps him together. he also has some conflicting feelings on his relationship with altair.

an. first altair piece i ever wrote, all of it will be posted here but if you want to find the rest of it its posted on ao3 under the user grapesplease. i love writing for my tav and will be writing much more :)

wc. 2.1k

The silence was deafening.

Astarion knew that something was wrong with Altair, he’d be a horrible partner(?) otherwise. Gods, he’d be an idiot to not notice, whatever was going on with him was obvious to the whole party.

Shadowheart sends him a glare, “Say something to him!” She mouths.

He glares back, mouthing, “What?”

She groans, and Astarion huffs out an exasperated sigh. What would he even say to him? There wasn’t any doubt that he was close to Altair, that was made clear after their first rendezvous at the tiefling’s party, and with how the party expressed their annoyance at them, he knew that they knew too. He still wasn’t even sure that their relationship was anything more than the flirty banter and the occasional late-night tryst.

“I think we should set up camp.” Lae’zel, surprisingly, was the first to speak, breaking what felt like hours-long silence, “I think everyone can agree that a night’s rest is needed.”

Altair’s eyes scanned the area, and he acquiesced, only giving a nod and a quiet, “Alright then..” to the rest of the group.

The elf can’t help but worry, as much as he hates to admit it. Everyone is, as he’d wormed (no pun intended) his way into everyone’s hearts. Astarion doesn’t know if he should go and talk to him, and he doesn’t have the opportunity to. As Lae’zel is, again, the first to speak up.

“Altair.” She stands in front of his tent, Altair flinching as he turns to face her, “What is wrong with you? You’ve been awfully alert, is there something wrong with this place? Or is there something wrong with you?”

Astarion cringes at the face Altair makes when Lae’zel asks if there’s something wrong with him.

“It’s nothing. Lae’zel, I’m just feeling a little off being here."

Astarion scoffs, a little off? As if he wasn’t making the “I’m going to murder someone” face for like three hours straight.

“Underdark doesn’t exactly bring back fond memories, you know, with the whole forced servitude thing..”

She only sighs, grumbling but taking that as a satisfactory answer. “Just don’t let it endanger us, istik.”

Altair lets out a sigh of relief as she walks off, and his gaze flits over to Astarion, realizing he was watching the whole thing. He lets out an exasperated groan, and motions for Astarion to come over. He shuts his book, plastering a flirty smirk on his face and sauntering over.

“So, is there ‘something wrong with you’, dear?” He jokes, mimicking the cadence of Lae’zel’s voice, “You have been awfully on edge, darling.”

“That obvious?”

“Very.”

He groans, sinking down to the ground, his face buried in his hands. “Fuuuck. Gods, I’m stressed.”

“That much is clear.” Astarion retorts, moving to sit down next to him. “Good to know that it’s stress, I couldn't tell if you were wanting to kill me or needed a drink.”

“I go for either right now, to be honest.” He jokes, looking up at Astarion, “I found something here, Astarion.”

He doesn't like the tone that Altair takes, it sends an uncomfortable jolt up his spine. He follows him into his tent, spotting an journal atop Altair’s makeshift desk. The journal's a pretty little thing, its gold embroidery shimmering against the light of Altair's lamp.

“Oh, is it cursed? Is this one for Gale or for me?” He asks, running his fingers over the embroidery. He would've appreciated the work more, if not for how grave Altair sounded.

“It might as well be.” He grabs the journal, flipping through its pages. “I haven't been all too honest with my background, Astarion. I don't think I can hide it anymore, either.”

The vampire raises an eyebrow, “So you're telling me that you aren't just a bard from Baldur’s Gate? What a surprise!”

“I’m being serious, Astarion!” He snaps, flipping to the most recent page of the journal. Astarion tenses up, frowning at him.

“The writer of this journal, she's out to fucking kill me! She found me back then, when I was in Baldur’s Gate, she- she found where I lived, and she's found me here too! Gods-”

His hands grip tightly at the edges of the journal, his breathing getting ragged and uneven. Astarion softly places his hands on his shoulders, trying to ground him.

“Breathe, darling.” He hasn't had much experience calming people, but he hopes that this is working. This is a new side to Altair, one that he’d hid well up until this point. “She's not here, we're safe, and even if she finds us, we can take her, I’m sure of it.”

“No! No, that's how she gets you!” Altair chokes out, looking up at him with fearful eyes. “She pretends, she acts all nice, getting you to trust her- then she tears it all away! Everything! She's already done it once to me, and now she's going to do it again! She’s going to torture you- and everyone here, and she's going to make me watch.”

A sob falls from his throat, his tears leave dark splotches on his pants, “And she's going to do it because she owns me- and- fuck, she’s going to find out I care about you! She’s going to make me fucking miserable, going to make me beg and grovel under the heel of her boot for forgiveness, and then she’s going to kill me.”

What?

..He cares for him?

What a mistake, he thinks, a stupid mistake, putting faith into someone like him.

But this is exactly what he wanted, right? To have Altair, the poor sod, the easiest target, his victim, care for him enough to protect him. To be willing to fight and inevitably die to Cazador or the Absolute for him.

It was the same stupid charade, one he’d done for 200 hundred years.

He forces those thoughts back down, looking Altair in the eye. This- This he could deal with later, his newfound guilt wasn't what was important here. The sobbing mess in front of him was, the sobbing mess that foolishly cares about him was what was important right now.

“Listen, she isn't here. I’m not going to die, I promise. She would've been here ages ago if she wanted to kill me.” He forces back the bile that threatens to rise up his throat as he comforts him, feeling like the biggest hypocrite in the world, “We’re safe, dear.”

Altair only sharply inhales, shaking his head, his long hair falling over his face.

“No- no, she's here, I can feel it, I know. She's fucking hiding in the shadows, waiting to strike!”

“Look at me.” Astarion brushes away the hair from his face, his voice lowering to a whisper. “We're okay, I’m safe, everyone’s safe, I’m not dying today. No one is going to die. I’m still here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

“I- I..” Altair tries to steady his breathing, despite how his heart thumps wildly in his chest. “You promise?”

Astarion tries to hide his guilt.

“Yes love, I’m not going anywhere.”

Altair heaves out a heavy sigh, wiping his tears. Gods above, this was all too much for him, too many of his feelings laid bare for a man who he wasn't even sure really loved him. His true feelings had been unceremoniously spilled, his heart exposed for Astarion to see.

He wasn't a bard who told beautiful tales of romance or adventure, nor a gladiator who fought valiantly for his own freedom. He wasn't any of those fucking things. But gods! He wishes he was! He wishes he had the strength he pretends to have in front of everyone, but now Astarion knows.

He knows that he’s just a scared man, constantly running and hiding from everything that scared him. He knows that he cries like a child, forever terrified of his past.

Altair isn’t someone who confronts his past, he hides like a coward, running away to the far corners of the world thinking that he can hide. He wants to love Astarion, wants to care, he wants to do all of that without the looming fear that it’d be taken from him.

That his past would eventually catch up to him and it’d all disappear.

“Astarion, I..” His face is flush with embarrassment, head hanging in shame, he feels like he could die on the spot, “I’m sorry, for all of this.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about.” He calmly replies, “I think we’ve all been stressed, and it's not like you haven't seen me panic every once and a while.”

Altair snorts, letting out a dry chuckle, “Yeah, last time you did, you ended up killing a man.”

“He deserved it!” Astarion retorts, gasping dramatically.

“Sure, sure..” He wipes at his eyes, but realizes that Astarion is already moving to exit his tent. Was he just going to leave, now that Altair had calmed down? No, he couldn't be alone yet.

He tugs at Astarion’s sleeve, stopping him in his tracks.

The man turns and tilts his head, giving Altair a sultry smirk, “What? You just got your breath back, and now you want me to take it away again? Darling, if you wanted to sleep with me, this is a cute way to ask~”

“No! No, I just want-” He groans, refusing to meet Astarion’s amused gaze, “I wanted you to stay.”

“That’s what I’m offering?”

“Not like that!” His head snaps up to look at him, seeing a brief flash of surprise from the elf, “I don't want to be alone, not yet.”

“Not yet” Astarion feels a pang of familiarity, Altair sounded like he was resigned to being lonely forever, like Astarion himself would be temporary and he’d never talk to him again after this night.

He hates how he can relate so much to that feeling. It only worsens the pit of guilt in his stomach. He wishes he could just leave, but he knows he can’t.

He can scarcely believe that Altair just wanted him to just- be there? To what, cuddle in his bedroll and fall asleep together? He hasn’t done that in centuries, nevertheless with someone else.

“So you just want me to…” he makes a vague hand motion, “to just be here?”

“If you want.” Altair sputters out, a nervous panic seeping into his voice, “I just- I don't want to be alone, I still feel like she's there, and I'm- I’m scared, Astarion.”

It takes a great deal of effort to admit this to him, and Altair feels so vulnerable. Fuck, he's so, so scared, scared of Astarion saying no, scared that the moment he takes his eyes off of him that he's going to disappear, and that the next time he sees him, all that's left is a mangled corpse.

He’s scared that the man he’s starting to love is going to disappear, and leave him all alone with his feelings for him.

“I’ll.. of course I’ll stay, if you're scared. I did promise, after all.”

Altair shakily laughs, glad that Astarion didn't reject him. Moving to his bedroll, he motions for Astarion to join him, and he obliges, laying down beside him.

“Can we cuddle?”

“You don't have to ask, darling.”

“I know.” The drow turns on his side, burying his face in Astarion’s neck.

“Sappy.”

Astarion’s fingers thread through his white locks, messing with the long strands. It really was sweet of him, and he comes to the dreadful realization that Altair is slowly becoming more to him than just protection.

He wants to ask more about Altair’s past, who was this woman he was so afraid of? Was she really so strong that she’d kill the whole party in one fell swoop? Is she someone who’d torture him, for the sole fact that Altair cares about him?

Shit, he’d almost forgotten about that.

He's still a bit in denial about it, the fact that Altair cares for him, and that he might also care for him back. But he knows that he would never do this much for anyone else, gods, cuddling in the night? Sharing gentle touches while patching each other up and longing glances between battles? He knows that Altair is so much more than just protection.

He knows that he has to reveal his true intentions to him, but whatever confession he has dies on his tongue. The half-drow is sound asleep in his arms, softly snoring into his chest. His heartbeat calm as he buries himself further into the fabric of his shirt.

Astarion knows that he has to confess his real intentions to Altair eventually, but it could wait a little longer. He could wait a little longer to reveal how horrible of a person he was, how he was no different from Altair’s tormentor.

“Good night, love.”

It could wait.

[ashprince-of-bel-air]

Reading by firelight.

AN: a short Gale oneshot, I typed this on mobile so please forgive any errors or formatting.

Summary: Gale watches Tav read by the fire.

The sun was setting softly over the camp, casting a warm orange glow over the horizon. This had always been Gales favourite time of the day. The cool afternoon breeze sweeping through the camp as he again started to prepare supper over the campfire. It wasn't the silence that he enjoyed, as the rest of his campmates retired to their tents for a while, to rest their battle weary bodies, it was the fact he could watch Tav. Their afternoon ritual of sitting by the campfire after battle, engrossed in a large tome left him utterly speechless. The way the light from the fire flickered against their soft skin, still a little grimy from the days adventure, causing shadows to dance over their visage was like a drug to him; more often than not he had to remind himself to focus on making sure the stew in the pot didn't over boil or burn. He never had a problem serving perfect meals when he first joined the delightfully weird selection of comrades he now had, but now the amount of spoiled food was becoming suspicious to the group as they all tried to create conspiracies surrounding this new phenomenon. The current favourite conspiracy coming from Astarion claiming "Maybe Gale is going senile in his old age, either that or the tadpole has helped itself to a few two many braincells". Wyll was ever the gentleman and always suggested that the days adventuring were getting harder, that it wasn't fair to put such undue pressure on him. Lae'zel would just tut at the rest of the camp and eat whatever was given to her, warriors were not afforded the constant luxury of exquisite food.

Gale would look longingly at Tav as they read, they were completely absorbed with their book every night so he wasn't scared of being caught, he'd imagine their long slender fingers stroking against his skin softly as he watched Tav gently stroke the pages of the book many a night, yearning to feel their delicate touch along his body and tangled in his hair, wanting to know what it would feel like for Tav to massage away his aches at the end of a long day or even relieve his frustrations.

Every night he would tell himself mentally "Come on Gale, go talk to them, you don't shut up any other time." He would try to gear himself up, he'd even thought of a good pick up line to use, yet in every scenario he thought up, it just didn't come out right, mentally cursing Astarion and his charm for raising the bar impossibly high; jealous of the way the pale elf could seemingly flirt and seduce with ease.

"Hey Tav, I'm an open book too... and you can read me any time you like." Gale shuddered at the thought of him actually trying to say that, in each made up scenario he always came across as awkward and stuttering, then Tav would look at him like he was a creep. Tonight, he told himself that he actually would talk to them, it didn't matter what it was about, hells he would talk about crop rotation or the rising 'wizarding insurance' prices in Waterdeep, he just needed to talk to them. He could talk to them out in the road but could never bring himself to speak when it was just him and Tav alone. For a man who had a propensity towards verbosity, he was always rendered speechless when alone with them.

Gale checked the cooking stew, making sure it was simmering and wouldn't over boil again, for what would be the 5th time in a fortnight. He ran his now clammy hands through his hair in the hopes to make himself more presentable, although, considering he hadn't had chance to change from his grubby blood stained robe, he didn't think Tav would be offended if his hair was a little messy. His mouth began to open and form words as he stepped towards you until Astarion burst out of his tent and called out.

"Mmm Darling." His voice as it's usual delicate purr. "Something smells delicious." Astarion takes a seat by Tav, their shoulders and knees touching in an overly friendly manner, his eyes flitting between their face and their neck."and I definitely don't mean the food." Astarions voice dropped into a lower more lustful purr as he admired Tav's long and slender neck.

Gale was stopped dead in his tracks by the interaction and stepped back towards the pot of stew, his head slumped down in disappointment, watching through a contemptuous gaze as Tav closed their book and began chatting energetically with Astarion. "It's always that damned vampire" Gale cursed to himself, wondering jokingly if he could find a pointy stick in the woods to acquainte Astarion with. He shook his head to clear away those thoughts, tonight was not his time, but maybe tomorrow it could be. "No, it would be." He told himself sternly. He promised himself that he would speak to Tav tomorrow. But for now, he would have the memory of their soft and slender hands to take back to his tent with him, it was always a welcome thought on these lonely nights, forever wishing he had more than his imagination.

[hrefna-the-raven]

Web of faith

Masterlist - BG3 masterlist

Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 6 - 7

Words: 798

Warnings: death, emotional pain

Notes: I'd like to apologise in advance for this heartbreak 😅

Chapter 5

“You don’t have to talk or tell me your name, if you don’t want to. We can just sit here together until you feel better”, you spoke softly, offering comfort and solace to the wounded stranger as you finished cleaning the wound on his lips.

You murmured the incantation of a healing spell, your eyes focused on the wound as it slowly began to mend.

"There will be a scar, but don't worry, you'll still look good.", you offered him a reassuring smile.

As the healing spell took effect, his gaze finally met yours, a glimmer of gratitude and trust reflected in his eyes.

"Kar'niss", he whispered, his eyes finally finding yours.

"What?", you asked, confusion flickering across your face.

"My name is Kar'niss."

"Drider", Ketheric commanded, "the Absolute does not tolerate heretics! Kill them!"

Kar'niss hesitated, his gaze shifting between Thorm and the rest of the group. Thoughts raced through his mind as he heard the voice of the Absolute, though it was not as forceful as when he had first encountered you. She demanded your demise, much like Lolth did in the past, and he feared the consequences of defying yet another queen and yet....

"I will NOT kill her", he declared, shaking his head.

"I order you to eradicate these heretics!", Ketheric's voice echoed ominously in the eerie silence atop the tower.

Kar'niss winced, clutching his head as he fought against the tendrils of mind control. You closed your eyes and reached out to the emperor, but only silence greeted you. Desperate to aid your beloved, you connected your mind to his, assisting him in resisting the general's influence. It felt as though someone repeatedly stabbed at your head, twisting the blade. Just as you were on the brink of losing control, a soothing calm washed over you. The artifact floated before you, acting as a shield against the Absolute's sway.

"You worthless monstrosity!" Ketheric bellowed, launching himself at Kar'niss with his hammer.

The drider was still recovering from the attempted control, oblivious to the impending attack. You had just reunited with him, not willing to loose him again you would sacrifice everything to protect him from harm, even your own life. Without hesitation, you shouted and threw yourself between Ketheric and Kar'niss, taking the full force of the hammer blow to your chest. The impact sent you hurtling into Kar'niss' embrace and darkness engulfed your vision instantly. Gasps escaped your companions as Astarion and Lae'zel rushed towards Ketheric to mount a counterattack, while the others struggled to comprehend what had just transpired. Kar'niss held your unconscious body tightly, tears streaming down his face. This couldn't be real. After enduring so much and finally reuniting with his one true love against all odds, he was about to lose you once again to the madness of another deity. He retreated from the battle, clutching you tightly as he wept, feeling like he was about to loose the remainder of his already fragile mind.

"Tiny goddess of flesh, please return to us, we need you....I need you", he pleaded, but you remained lifeless in his arms, blood streaming from your nose and mouth.

Gently, he laid you on the ground, attempting various spells and even forcing a healing potion down your throat, yet you remained motionless. The weight of a reality without you shattered his heart. Meanwhile, your companions successfully repelled Ketheric, forcing him to retreat deeper into the heart of the tower before cautiously approaching the drider.

"Kar'niss?", Gale spoke softly, hesitant to draw any closer. 

Though the drider had shown friendliness towards you, there was still apprehension regarding this unpredictable creature. Kar'niss cradled your body tightly against his chest, retreating further backwards.

"You will not separate her from us," he sobbed, inching closer to the tower's edge, "we have only just found her!"

"I can heal her", Gale took a step towards the drider, offering his hand.

"You will take her away!", Kar'niss screamed, his eight legs teetering on the edge of the tower, dangerously close to tumbling down. 

He glanced over his shoulder, assessing the height. It was enough to make the leap, granting him a few precious seconds alone with you before both of you would reunite in death, locked in each other's embrace. Sobbing uncontrollably, tears streamed down his cheeks. The desire to end his own life had plagued him countless times and now it finally seemed like the right moment. The hopelessness of the situation engulfed him as he readied himself to make the ultimate sacrifice for the one he held dear. With one last glance at your lifeless form cradled in his arms, he tenderly pressed his lips against your forehead, inhaling deeply before surrendering himself to the void. As he plummeted backwards, whispering one last "I love you".

Tags:

@orionspaperwork

[chateaumarmontt]

Hey

I wrote an Everlark fanfiction. Peeta sees Gale and Katniss kissing. Katniss’ POV

Word count: 1300

English is not my first language, sorry if there are any mistakes<3

It was about 7 pm when Gale visited me. We didn't really talk after he found out about the engagement.

"Hi", he said, walking in my room. I was surprised to see him.

"Hi", I smile back, hoping he'd get over whatever it is between us so we can go on and be friends, "How's work?"

"Good. How's your leg?"

"Terrible. Mom doesn't even let me move, it gets boring sometimes."

"That sounds bad. And what do you do all day?"

I try not to mention that Peeta's coming by everyday to help me with the family book. I don't want to hurt Gale's feelings, since he'd interpret it as something more. Is it something more? I definitely seem to always end up with the boy with the bread, one way or another, but I'm not sure he even likes me anymore.

"Not much", I say and then there's silence.

"Katniss...", his tone gives me anxiety; i know he's about to bring something awkward up and I don't know how to deal with it, "I love you."

My eyes widen. We never really talked about this, but I assumed he had a crush on me. That's it. A crush. Not that he loves me.

"You don't have to answer now, but...", and then he kisses me. I pull back in shock.

"I had to do it once. Hello, Peeta", Gale smirks and I notice the blonde boy sitting in the doorway. I immediately panic. Did he see us kissing? I've been a bitch to him until I realized how I felt about our engagement. Truth is, I loved being able to call him my fiancé. Peeta was popular before, but after the Games, every girl was head over heels, I'd hear them talk about his muscles, his pretty smile. But no one had the chance to kiss his pink lips or to observe his long eyelashes. He was mine, in a way.

"Hi", he greets back, obviously a little sad. Did Gale do that on purpose? "I can come back later if..."

"No, Peeta, stay", I interrupt him. I don't want him to leave here upset. As his figure approaches my bed, I grab his hand. I don't even realize I do until he looks down at it and carefully slides his hand away.

"You don't have to do that. We're not really engaged."

This makes my heart break. I didn't really realize it till now, I thought this meant something for him as well.

"Oh.."

After talking for a while, he tells me his father needs help at the bakery. I put on a fake smile and wish him luck, but I can't sleep that night. Or the other day when he doesn't visit me. He used to come by everyday. I can't keep going on like this. Instead, Gale visits me.

"Did you do that on purpose", I cut him short, not even saying hi.

"What?"

"The kiss. So that Peeta can see it."

I don't have time to play his games, I don't want other people to get hurt because Gale is selfish. Peeta would've never done that to him, even if they hate each other.

"You told me there's nothing going on between you two, Katniss. I-"

"I lied", I say before I can stop myself.

Gale looks hurt. Maybe he's done a shitty thing, but I know he cares about me. In fact, he loves me.

"Look, you're the only person I trust besides mom and Prim”- and Peeta, I add in my head, but choose to omit the detail-“You're my best friend and you're really good looking, you have to know that, girls are always talking about it"

Gale smiles so I take it as a clue to continue:

"But I can't see you that way, Gale. I'm sorry."

"It's alright. I don't really have a say in it, do I?”He sighs before adding: “I'm sorry for what I did, Katniss.”

“So… friends”, I ask awkwardly and Gale nodds.

I can see him struggling with the conclusion, but I know our friendship can get past this, right?

________________________________

It's been 3 days since I last saw Peeta. He still brings me cheese buns, but never comes to my room. Prim told me he always asks mom how I'm feeling. I decide to go to the bakery, even though my foot is far from well. I can manage, I'll just get a cane.

I wait for mom to leave for work. After what seems like forever, I finally hear the door close.

I literally crawl down the stairs. The cane is downstairs and there's no way I could step on my foot. Finally, I reach it, but I can’t get up. I didn’t really think this through…

"Katniss? What are you doing", I turn around to see Prim, confused.

"I'm fine, Prim. A little help?"

She helps me get up and now I'm using the cane to get to the door.

"Where are you going? Does mom know-"

"I have to see Peeta", I sigh and she smiles, putting her hands on her hips.

“Will you finally confess your true love for him”

I just roll my eyes, but I can feel my cheeks getting flushed:

"Don't tell mom! I'll be right back."

"If you're not back in two hours, I'm coming after you."

"Give me three? I have to use a cane!"

Prim giggles, murmuring a "fine" and I walk out the door.

The road is not easy and as expected, it took me almost an hour. I'm nervous when I knock on the back door and I'm greeted by Rye, one of Peeta's older brothers.

He rolls his eyes, yelling:

"Peeta, your wife is here."

"Very funny", I hear another voice screaming back. Peeta's.

"I'm serious, loser.”

I blush at the word wife. 10 seconds later, I see Peeta. His eyes widen:

"Katniss? What are you doing here? Did you come all this way by yourself? You're supposed to be resting! Why-"

"Shut up", I interrupt him, "Peeta, we have to talk."

Before he can say something, I continue: "What you saw 3 days ago... Gale and-" I swallow hard, looking at the frown on his face "yeah... he did that on purpose. So that you'd think we were together. But we're not, I clarified. I told him he's my best friend and that I could never see him any other way."

"That's nice, Katniss, but it's not really my business", Peeta replies coldly. It's not his usual warm, cozy tone that I love and I know what I said isn't enough. “Let’s get you home, alright”, I could see the worry in his blue eyes and it made my heart melt. The way he was still worried about me, after I led him on, hurt his feelings… no, we’ll talk about this now.

"If it wasn't your business, why did you stop visiting me?"

"I'm sorry, my dad needed help-"

"Bullshit."

"So why do you think I stopped visiting you, then", he asks, visibly irritated.

"Because you don't want me to be with anybody else. You want me to be yours", I snap back and Peeta blushes lightly. I know I've never really let him speak during this conversation and this time isn’t any different. I kiss him, cutting off whatever lie he'd come up with and for a moment everything felt fine. One of his hand plays with my hair, while the other one was pressed against my waist, closing the distance between our bodies. I knew he wanted me just as much as I wanted him.

We have to stop in order to breathe a little, foreheads still pressed against each other.

"Katniss..."

"Mhm?"

"I really hated seeing you with Gale."

"I know. I hated him kissing me", I scoff and Peeta smiles.

After a while, we break off, Peeta’s hand still holding me so I don’t fall. I forgot about my leg.

"I should go. If i'm not home in an hour, Prim will tell mom"

"There's no way I'm letting you walk", he says and picks me up, bridal style.

"You can't be serious", I laugh.

"Watch me."

[thatfreshi]

"Unlucky Draw" (Uni AU p. 15)

There's finally some fluff guys!!!!!!!!!

tw - anxiety, discussion of weed

Since Halsin's little break-up escapade happened, you actually do get the chance to see Astarion later that night. As of recent, he's been throwing himself into his thesis project more and more, to the point where most of your time hanging is spent with him looking through books and asking 'do you think this sounds right?'

"You know you can take a break, right?"

"I could, you're right, but then I'd just be wasting time. And I'm not allotted much time to work on this."

The two of you are comfortably sprawled across his mattress, like teenagers at a sleepover. You roll over and shut his laptop.

"C'mon, you've been staring at that paper for like two hours."

"And what else should I do, my darling Tav? Maybe stare at the ceiling in silence? Or scroll mindlessly on my phone until I don't feel like moving anymore?"

"Ugh, no! I don't know, take a coffee break. You're probably not going to sleep anyways."

Your best friend almost looks peaceful like this, wrapped in a cozy sweater and sweatpants, always wearing long socks because he gets cold too easily. You find yourself lingering on the thought longer than normal, wishing he could feel that comfortable warmth all the time, wondering it might be like to share in it.

"Tav, are you listening? God, maybe we should just stare at the ceiling in silence."

"Sorry, just spacing out. What were you saying?"

"I was saying, how I should probably cut back on the caffeine."

"Really? Astarion Barista Ancunín, are you turning your back on your beloved espresso machine?"

"Look, I'm not happy about it, but I've been far too anxious as of late. My nerves are on fire constantly, jumping at every little noise I hear. It's irritating, to say the least."

"I thought being caffeinated was how you dealt with the insomnia though?"

"Oh it very much is, which will become a problem soon enough, but I just can't be this nervous constantly."

It's something that you've definitely noticed, how quiet and fidgety he's become recently.

"You considered smoking weed? I know Gale says it helps him zen out, especially when it comes to art stuff."

"Nope, makes me paranoid."

"Damn, unlucky draw I guess."

"You're telling me. I smoked one time back in high school, couldn't sleep for hours, kept thinking someone was out to get me or something."

You start to get lost in the peace of the moment again, the fact that you're able to talk about shit that doesn't matter, how the light from the bedside lamp hits his eyes just right...

"Are you alright? You seem, out of it."

"Sorry, just thinking about what Halsin said to me."

"I can't believe he just broke things off like that, without a reason."

You swallow hard.

"He, he said it's because he thinks you like me? And that he doesn't want to get in the way of that?"

There's silence for a moment, that you jump to fill.

"But that's not true right? We're just friends, I don't know where he would've gotten that idea from."

"Right, I don't know either... sounds like you dodged a bullet with him."

"Yeah, probably so."

God, has he always looked like this? Damn Halsin, damn all those things he said, damn Gale for even playing into it. You remind yourself that Astarion's right, that this doesn't need to get any more complicated than it already is, that he has enough on his plate.

"Now, am I allowed to go back to my thesis now? Or do I need to have more mandatory break time?"

You playfully sigh.

"I guess you can do productive things or whatever."

"Well, in that case would you like to come read what I have?"

"I'll look at it, but you have the cool narrator voice, you have to read it to be like a professional author."

He rolls his eyes, and you go to sit next to him, looking at the thousands of words he's typed at this point. Astarion starts to read it out loud, editing tiny things as he goes, forever a little perfectionist. After a while, the voice becomes too soothing, and you fall asleep there next to him, letting your head hit his shoulder.

"Tav?"

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees you knocked out, clearly exhausted. He doesn't stop reading though, worried if he does that he'll somehow ruin the sleep he's let you stumble into. So he spends the rest of the night rereading out loud and talking to himself, occasionally asking you things that you don't answer. After many hours pass, and the wee hours of the morning arrive, along with the clock turning to say five AM, he puts his laptop aside, and asks you one final question.

"Why do you insist on pulling my heartstrings the way you do?"

And it falls on your sleeping ears, never truly getting through.

[gales-wizard-wife]

Miscommunication- A Gale of Waterdeep One Shot

A very hastily written one shot, once again taking place after the battle of Moonrise. A brief miscommunication leaves Keena feeling angsty and in need of space, something she'll be thankful she doesn't get.

Around the fire my companions sit, merriment to be had by all. We're quickly approaching Baldur's Gate and with the battle at moonrise and the shadow lands behind us, we all feel a little closer to the end. Normally, I would be joining in on the frivolities, but tonight I find myself lost in thought. Earlier in the day I'd overheard a conversation between Gale and Karlach, one I could only wish I hadn't. 

 “Karlach,” he began, uncaring of who else might hear, “If someone- not me, of course- detected a hint of romantic interest in them from another, unnamed individual, what might that someone do about it?”

         “Whoever it is, just talk to them Gale and leave out the hypotheticals.” 

         He paused, “Talking. Right. I'm good at that.”

         And now here he was, elbow to elbow with Shadowheart, deep in discussion about something I couldn't quite make out. And here I was, across the fire from him probably looking like a love sick puppy. The idea frustrated me as this was out of character for myself. How much longer could I go on like this? I groaned nearly inaudibly, causing Astarion to look my way, his eyebrows raised as he took a drink of his wine. We locked eyes and I frowned, now it really had to be obvious.

I looked up, the moon high in the sky and full. It would be the perfect night for a walk. I stood, mouthing to him that I would be right back before moving to put my shoes in my tent. A barefoot walk would be the grounding that I needed to get out of my own head. I turned back then, letting out a sigh of relief when I noticed Shadowheart had moved to speak with Wyll and Lae’zel. Still, I walked to the start of the woods, focusing on the grass beneath my feet as I did so. The moon allowed for ample light and before long, I came to a clearing filled with nothing but the sounds of night. If I listened hard enough, I could hear the crackle of the fire back at camp and the murmured voices of my companions. I was far enough away to be alone yet close enough to call for backup should the need arise. 

         I sighed, sitting against a tree and closing my eyes. What was becoming of me? It was clear to me now that it was in my best interest to move on. How was I to do that when I was with him everyday? And when he formed an inevitable relationship, then what? I groaned again, this time no longer afraid of who might hear. I was thankful for the peace and for the space from Gale. Hopefully I could clear my mind. I sat in the silence with my eyes closed for a while before realizing that I was no longer alone. Whoever it was, had moved in complete silence upon approaching. The presence was familiar and when I opened my eyes, I expected to see Astarion before me.

         “Gale.” I said after opening my eyes, shock evident in my voice.

         “Keena, I hope I didn't frighten you. I didn't want to disturb you but when you never returned I wanted to come check on you.” He noticed I left?

        “Not at all.” I said, sitting straighter.

        “Are you alright?” How was I even supposed to answer that, to him of all people.

        “Just needed some quiet.”

        “Perhaps I'm the wrong person to have followed you out here.” He chuckled.

        “Not at all.” I said again, “ But if you're checking to see if I'm alright, I am. Don't let me keep you from the festivities.” I forced a smile and he frowned.

           “Nonsense, you're not keeping me from anything.” He looked suddenly nervous under the light of the moon, his brows furrowing.

           Now it was my turn to ask, “Are you alright?” I hoped he wasn't about to have the same conversation with me that he did with Karlach. He stayed in place, his eyes searching my face. Could he tell I was lying?

          “I was hoping to talk to you about something.” He said and I fought the urge to sigh. I would at least be a good friend if that was all I could be, no matter how heartbreaking the idea was. I stood, back still against the tree. I remained silent, giving him the space to speak. He didn't say anything yet and I felt myself growing impatient. Couldn't we just get this over with?

         “What's on your mind?” I asked and he smiled sheepishly.

         “I seem to be at a loss for words.” I chuckled at that,

         “You can tell me anything.” I said, hoping I wouldn't regret the words.

         “I'm hoping you won't regret that.” He was frowning, a strand of hair falling into his face. I fought the urge to remove it.

          “Gale?” I asked, finding myself more concerned than anything else. This was unlike him. He was one of the most well spoken people I knew, always confident in his words.

          “Keena…” he trailed off, stepping closer. “I fear what I'm about to say may be obvious at this point. But after nearly sacrificing myself for Mystra, I realized I could no longer keep it to myself.” He paused, a look I can't decipher in his eyes. My mind was racing at the possibilities of what he could be about to confess.

          “You have stolen my heart from the very moment I laid eyes on you. I thought that after Mystra I couldn't possibly love another, couldn't be willing to fall for someone. But you…” without thinking further I closed the gap between us, stepping forward and looking up into his eyes. His eyes searched my face and I knew what he was asking. I didn't stop myself this time as I pushed the hair out of his eyes, the feeling of his skin beneath my fingers something I had longed to know and they moved without thinking, tracing the faint purple lines the orb had left from the side of his face, to the area of exposed chest his button up left. He sucked in a quick breath, head ducking forward as his lips suddenly met mine. I relished the taste of his lips, of how his mouth tasted of smoke and red wine.            

 Suddenly, my back was against the tree once again, his body against mine. His hands were at my waist, one hand slipping under my shirt and against the skin above my hip, the feeling of his soft hands in contrast to the rough tree bark causing me to moan. He pulled away then, our breathing heavy.

“I'm in love with you.” He whispered, kissing me quickly once more. My hands moved on their own then, my fingers wrapping themselves in his thick brown hair. He smiled as I tugged gently on the ends, kissing me deeper. This kiss was all the response I could give him at the moment and I hoped that he could feel my love reciprocated. We stayed like that, kissing under the light of the moon, for a while. When I finally pulled away, I smiled,

“I’m in love with you, too.” 

[baldurs-gape]

Just want to say I love your work and I’m so excited for the next chapter of shores. You always have me hooked into whatever you are writing :”)

Nonnie, you are a hero in kindness. Please know I love you for being so kind to take the time and effort to come over from AO3 find this blog and leave this ask. Currently I'm writing chapter 13 of Shores and it will likely be 14 chapters long, maybe 15 if I get carried away (we don't mention that it was meant to be a 2k one-shot). But I babble. What I'm trying to say is thank you! You're a gem and have brought me so much joy with this ask. Please have some lighthearted silliness as a token of gratitude. Though if you'd prefer something darker and more gritty, drop me an ask and I'll gladly write that for you too (an ask is basically my excuse to write for someone whether it's a prompt or not).

The Bird, the Bear, and the Bastard

Some days at camp were straight up boring, there was no denying it. There was only so much that could be done in terms of reading, idly tidying around camp and sorting through their packs. Talking was all well and good but even that ran its course when people hit their limits of what they were willing to hare about themselves. Alas, sitting in silence was nice to a point but quickly lost its appeal.

"I'm bored," Astarion sighed for the third time in as many minutes. "You sure we can't take potions of flight and wrestle in the clouds?"

"First, you know that's not how it works. Second, that's such a waste of potions. We might need those later on." Tired of this argument, Gale didn't even bother looking up from his book. "I did offer to teach you a cantrip instead."

"You offend me by suggesting I need a cantrip to get my way. No, I don't want to waste time learning a silly little cantrip for something that already comes naturally to me." After a pause, he sighed wistfully. "I want to fly. And land with the grace of a butterfly rather than a speeding goose."

Book slamming shut, Gale stood up. The furstration in his movements was somewhat dampened by his knees creaking and protesting the sudden change of position.

"Right. Get your bedroll collection. All of it. Pillows, bags, anything soft and pile it overthere." He pointed to the clearest part of camp. When Astarion didn't move, he glared. "Now!"

It was a commanding voice that Astarion had only ever him use when casting and suddenly he perked up, doing as told. Whatever it was that Gale had planned, it was better than doing nothing all day. Within minutes his hoard of comforts was piled up and Gale added his own meagre collection to it. All in all, it looked like a giant bed, big enough for the whole camp to enjoy an orgy on if they wanted. Stepping on it and bouncing a little, Gale nodded to himself.

"Come along, we'll start small." Curiosity won out and Astarion followed only half a dozen steps away. Looking between him and the pile, Gale nodded again. "The landing should be soft, even if you don't land upright. I'll use a very gentle gust of wind to push you. Ready?"

No questions about whether Astarion wanted to do this or if he had any opinions about the matter. As if he would have refused, this sounded like fun.

"Do your worst."

The gust of wind hit Astarion, drove breath from his lungs as it picked him up and threw him back, landing on the soft spread of pillows and bed rolls with a thump. When he could draw a breath again, he laughed and stared up at the sky.

"Again!"

Dutifully, Gale waited until he was back in position and, at his nod, another gust of wind lifted him off the ground before the landing drew a little "oof". Grinning wide, Astarion scrambled to get back into position to go again.

As they repeated the game, things progressed. The distance from the pile got larger, the gusts of wind stronger. Astarion began scoring Gale's accuracy for throwing him into the middle of the pile while his own landings were graded in turn by Gale. They were in the middle of climbing a tree to add an element of height to their game when some of the others returned to camp from their own adventures.

"The little ones used to love being thrown about," Halsin said warmly. "So did I, until I got too big."

Wistful and a little sad, those were the emotions the others could hear in his little lament. It had Gale and Astarion exchanging looks and grinning.

"I'll grab a scroll," Astarion said and hopped out of the tree with feline grace. For once, Gale didn't argue about wasting valuable camp resources so frivolously.

While Astarion jogged to get it, he approached Halsin. "You know, nobody is ever too big or small, it's all in the skill of the one doing the throwing. I'll have you know, I'm very skilled."

"Little mage, you're welcome to try but don't be disheartened when it doesn't work."

All the same, Halsin let Gale position him some way from the pile as Astarion appeared with a scroll in hand. They waited until Gale had tidied up the pile, made sure it was safe for a heavier landing. When he nodded, Astarion lifted the scroll in preparation.

The gust of wind was strong, much stronger than expected and Halsin let out a whoop of a shout as he soared through the air and crashed into the pile of bedrolls. Mage hands supported his head and Gale stood at the side, hand still out from here he'd cast it. Standing up on legs which trembled from excitement, Halsin beamed wide.

"I think I know what scrolls I'll be on the lookout for from now on."

Sidling up to them, Astarion was biting his lip to hold back a smile. "I'll keep you in steady supply, don't worry. Now, want to see what else Gale can do with those mage hands?"

Eyes darkening, Halsin looked between the two and hummed. "It would be my honour."

[a-aexotic]

hey babes but could u write peeta and reader comforting eachother after they took down snow and everything back in 12 xx

—cw: unedited, depression, after war effects, injuries, angst/comfort trope, crying and kissing —a/n: i hope you enjoyed!!! pls reblog/comment to show ur support :)

Y/N WAS IN DISBELIEF. It was all over, everything was over. They succeeded, they won. But they still felt the same; alert, scared, broken. Y/N thought that when they won, they would be able to finally feel good again. They were still hurting.

Y/N was sitting in the hospital bed, sitting up as the nurses helped them with their injuries. There were burns and cuts everywhere, the nurses kept putting oils and stitches, and it stung but Y/N couldn't even flinch. The pain couldn't compare to what they were feeling inside.

After they left, Y/N was left alone with their thoughts and they couldn't bare that. They put on the slippers that were left at the edge of the bed and they walked through the halls. They were empty since it was late. They soon went back to their room and jumped slightly, seeing someone sitting at their bed.

Y/N relaxed seeing it was just their friend, Peeta Mellark. Peeta turned around, looking at Y/N.

"How are you feeling?" Peeta spoke out, his voice hoarse. Y/N shrugged, not sure exactly how they were feeling. They know what they should be feeling; joy, happiness, accomplished. But all they felt was grief and heartache.

"Not sure. You?"

"Me too."

There was calm silence. Y/N has known Peeta for a long time; she was his Gale. They've been friends for years, ever since they were kids. Y/N was his happiness and light, even after the games. They were his only source of genuine comfort. Even after the capitol captured him, no matter what they did, they could never take away how he felt about Y/N.

They both knew they didn't need to talk, but they were there if they needed to. Peeta slid his hand into their's, wrapping their fingers together and squeezing them.

Y/N sighed out loud, looking down at their lap. "I-I know what I'm supposed to be feeling. But I just don't... feel it."

Peeta nodded. "I don't we're able to. Not after what we've seen."

There was more silence before Peeta spoke again, "people died. A lot of them. Kids, elders. And I feel guilty. Shouldn't we have protected them?"

Y/N looked over at her best friend, sudden rage filling her system. She let go of his hand, grabbing his face. "Don't you dare say that. Don't- You shouldn't feel guilty, Peeta. You're just 18, you can't expect to save everyone. You tried, okay? We tried and we won."

Peeta's eyes started to water, sniffing. "But the kids, Prim-"

"We couldn't do anything, Peeta." Y/N's heart broke in half, her stomach filling with sickness. She felt exactly the way he was, but he didn't deserve it. "Peeta, my god. I am so sorry, I wish I could take away every piece of your pain and put into me. You don't deserve it."

Peeta let out a cry, pulling into Y/N and putting his head into their shoulder. Y/N put their hand on his back, drawing circles.

He cried for a while before he stopped and Y/N let him sit. "I feel broken beyond repair. I can't sleep and I can't stand being awake with my thoughts. It's a nightmare. I don't think I'll ever be okay."

"We will, Peeta. We will always be okay. You don't have to go through this alone, I'll always be here and I promise you, the pain will fade with time." Y/N spoke calmly, still holding onto him.

"None of this is your fault, Peeta. You saved everyone. No matter what you think, you're a savior. The voice in your head, that's telling you all these lies, isn't real. You're strong and amazing."

Peeta sniffled and nodded, trying to process what Y/N was saying.

"It's all okay now, I'm here. I won't let anyone hurt you anymore, I promise." Y/N was trying to believe what they were saying, as well. Peeta let go of Y/N, looking into their eyes as Y/N wiped his tears.

He slowly leaned in, placing a small kiss on Y/N's lips. They were tense at first, but quickly warming up to his lips. Peeta pulled away, looking at Y/N. They grabbed his hand, and leaned in again for a more passionate kiss.

They pulled away, their foreheads still connecting as they looked into each other's eyes, finding comfort in each other after years of torment.

[priestess-of-gale]

An oracle reading with Lord Gale:

I sat down today after my prayers to do an oracle reading with Lord Gale. I used my Halloween Oracle deck, since were coming into the season, and it always feel magical, and homely, like Him.

Let me tell you how unprepared I was. I have never felt a spirit or Deity come through so strongly. Like I just kept sitting there in stunned silence. And I had been worried that I wasn't maybe receiving the best connection with Him, and that maybe it wasn't going to work. Oh boy, do I not feel like that now. Turn's out he's quite happy to yap in real life as he is in game. Which was actually quite reassuring and endearing. He would often pull more than one card at a time, when I only needed one, and he just had allot to say.

I thought I would post the entire conversation. Any thoughts or things that pop up or stick out for you guys?

Question: Which card do You feel best represents Your energy? Answer: The Underworld-where all things pause and begin again. I was like okay, we're going hard as the card practically chucked itself at me. He seemed pleased that I was attempting communication in this way. I digress though, Gale literally talks about this, about the highs and lows proceeding the ambition, whether it turns out successfully or otherwise. He is literally the energy which sweeps us along and allows us to begin and try again.

Question: Please pick four cards that represent important aspects of You: Answer: Card One: Trick or Treat-mischief and play. Gale says He is a brilliant host in game, and He is able to bring people together IRL through shared joy and love of Him. He also has a playful spirit, and wants to remind me not to be so hard on myself. Card Two: Barmbrack-Sweetness and synergy. He is literally the God of magic, of the Galerian Weave, and this is a divination cake. He literally ambodies all magic with His new weave, and changed his own fate. He wants us to seek Him for petitions, and for magic, and trust in Him and His power.

Card Three: Graveyard-Unnecessary Fear. He suffered alone in His tower for over a year. He knows what it's like to fear. But He wants us to go to Him, take our fears to Him, sit with Him, and spend time with Him, and build a relationship with Him, and community with others. Even if that community is online. Card Four: Winter-the sacredness of pausing. He wants us to release what no longer serves us, as a God of change and transition. He wants us to take shelter in Him, and allow Him to work through us and begin anew. He wants us to feel safe enough to take our wants and desires and fears to Him, give them to Him, so He can help us. He wants us to feel at peace in Him. Credit where it's due he did only pick for cards for this one.

Question: Please will you pick two cards to represent signs and symbols of Yourself: Answer: Skull of Light-Illumination. Knowledge and wisdom bring enlightenment, and our shadows can shed our light if we allow them to. Light, illumination, stars, enlightenment, balance and growth are all aspects of His domain. Card Two: Spider-community and web weaving. I literally pulled it and was like why spiders? And then I understood and was blown away. Gale is God of the Galerian Weave. He talks about viewing Mystra as everything, and this card talks about spider Gods creating and weaving life. Through His weave He is God of all aspects of life and death. There is nothing He does not touch, and can not help with. He is knowledge, and connection, and wants us to connect with one another. He values kindness towards others.

Question: What kind of connection do You want with me? Answer: Trick-or-Treat, mischief and play. He wants a playful relationship. It doesn't have to be perfect, and I don't have to always get it right. He wants me to find life and joy again. (More about this, a little backstory if you will, once I'm finished writing up the notes on the reading.)

Question: Is there anything I can do for You? Answer: Skull of stars, and graveyard. This is one of the questions He picked extra cards to answer. He wants me to let go of the anxiety, the insecurity, the thoughts and belief that I'm not good enough, not for anyone, really. He wants me to forgive myself for the past, as I'm too hard on myself and expect too much. I don't always have to achieve being good, as long as I don't stop trying to grow and better myself. He wants me to allow myself to begin anew again, as His follower, and grow and better myself. Take back my creativity, the things that are important to me, and just for myself (fandom). And he wants me to dream bigger, maybe go for that teaching apprenticeship.

Question: Is there anything You want me to know right now? Answer: He picked an extra card for this one too. The first one he picked was Nightsong though. He wants me to listen to Him, to follow Him through the darkness. He finds value within me, and within my talents. I am good enough for Him The second card: Apple, risk and reward. Don't be afraid to change and grow. Apples are the fruit of knowledge, of teachers. And Gale is willing to guide and teach me, and catch me when I fall. There is wisdom and knowledge to be learnt in everything. Knowledge is a sacred ambition, and apples are sacred to Him. When He talks about apples?

Question: Is there anything You want people to know that are interested in walking with You and following You? Answer: He chose three cards for this one. Card One: Vampire-emotional intelligence. Focus on Your attention and energy on what matters to you, and what drives you. Discard that which does not serve you. Card Two: Wise seeing, wise action. Wisdom and knowledge are important tools to better your life with, and are sacred to Him. He wants His followers to seek these things. Owls are sacred guardians of knowledge and He sees them as sacred to Him. Card Three: Mummy- Change. All endings, closed doors, and barriers are healthy pauses in life so that we can begin to change and grow. It is necessary and natural, and He is god of ambition, of growth. Flow with it, not against it.

Okay, a little back story. I was in a mental health unit a couple of weeks ago after trying to take my own life. I lost my ability to find joy in anything, and I was just numb. I really started up the blog around then, writing prayers to Him and letters to Him while I was so far away from home. He helped me deal with the homesickness I was feeling, with everything that felt like it had just fallen apart. He was the reason I coped. He was the reason I managed to smile again, to find value in my own life, after having had it taken away. He gave me back everything, really. And I craved His presence constantly. He was very patient with me. And now He wants me to try and live, and not merely exist. Which is quite the task for me, as I've been unwell for so long that I don't remember who I am without the illness. I'm trying for Him though.

I hoped that helps someone? I hope you guys find what you need in it. I'm sorry it's a long post, He really is a yapper. He came through so strong though, I could hardly believe it. Any thoughts or opinions?

[xetlynn]

The Hunger Games- The Protecter: Chapter Four, Just See

(Peeta Mellark x Reader)

[Three] [Four] [Five]

After we got back to the penthouse, I went to my room. Ignoring Effie who tried to talk to me. I felt a little mean but at this moment I was hurt, confused, angry... All the emotions at once.

I get that what Peeta did was meant to help but in reality it just made it harder to face the fact that I will either have to watch him die or we both turn on one another. He was my savior in 12 and now he's my savior in the games. I feel as if I owe him to get him home. Even though that was my plan from the beginning.

I'd rather him go home than I. Katniss and Gale can help my family. They don't need me. My little brother won't remember me as well as the others. I can be a distant memory to him. My dad will be crushed but he'll get over it. Along with the others. They'll get over it. They have each other.

I dress down into pajamas after a nice long, hot shower. It's one of the things I'm glad I get to experience before the shit I have to go through. The heat trickling down on me.

I climb into the large bed, throwing the covers over me. I toss and turn. Tomorrow being the day we get thrown into an arena to kill each other. My chest tightens thinking of Peeta dying. That little girl from district 11 getting killed.

I take a deep breath, there's no way I am going to bed any time soon. I shove the blankets off as quickly as I put them on.

I begrudgingly make my way out of the room. Knowing that no one was awake and the rooms are pretty sound proof. I found out that the penthouse has a roof directly above so I find my way up there.

Once I wander further I notice somebody is already up here. I go to apologize and leave but I realize it's Peeta. The wind is so loud I can't hear what he's saying but he stands up and motions for me to come over.

I think about it for a moment. Glancing back to the exit door to go back inside. It's our last night to talk.

I guess I should take advantage and know why he said what he did on live television. Not having everyone around us. I slowly go over and join him.

"Couldn't sleep either?" I sit down beside him on the ledge of the roof. "Nope..." He sighs, looking off to the people of the Capitol. "I'm sorry for uh... attacking you." I awkwardly tell him. We kind of are speaking loudly due to the wind.

"It's fine, I deserved it. I shouldn't have done that without speaking to you." He frowns, playing with his hands.

"Maybe, but what's done is done." I shrug my shoulders. "I just wish I wasn't put on the spotlight even more than I already am." I begin to explain myself and my reaction.

"I hate this, I mean we're going to fight to our death. And we already have cameras in our faces since the moment names are called. Since I volunteered.... I have so much extra unwanted attention." I huff, bringing my knees to my chest. Laying my head on my knees. I think about what my family is going through back at home.

What the people are saying to them and how they're reacting to everything they're seeing on the screens. If I'm being portrayed correctly, not looking like a weirdo.

Even though that should be the absolute last thing on my mind.

We hear cheers in front of us, we look down the people of the Capitol once again. "Listen to them." I scrunch my nose. "Yeah, I don't want them to change me." He breathes out. "What do you mean?" I quietly ask, I don't even know if he heard me.

"I don't know, they'd turn me into something I'm not. I just don't want to be another piece in their game. You know?" He turns to look at me, see if I understand. "Yeah... Does that mean you won't kill anyone?"

"No. I'm sure I would, just like anybody else when the time came, but... I just keep wishing I could think of a way to show them that they don't own me. If I'm gonna die, I want to still be me. Does that make sense?" He explains, I look back down to the crowd of crazy looking people. "It does."

Silence.

"I'm sorry for before. I shouldn't have vented like that." I apologized, finally looking up at him to see his facial expression. He had a small sympathetic smile and he was shaking his head. "You're fine." He assures me.

"I don't mind listening to you. I do have a question though." He clears his throat. I cock my head to the side, waiting for him to continue. "When you yelled at me, you said that "what if I had feelings for you too?" I just need to know. Before everything happens in that arena. Did you ever?" His eyebrows furrow. I bite my bottom lip, thinking about how to respond as I wasn't expecting that question.

"When you threw that bread, that one night. When we were younger. I looked at you differently. I have looked at you differently since that night." I answer him, straightening my posture.

"I guess that's all I'm giving you." I stand up, patting his shoulder. "See you tomorrow, Peeta." I smile softly, walking away from him I faintly hear him say goodnight to me.

"They'll put all kinds of stuff right in front, right in the mouth of the Cornucopia. There'll even be a bow in there. Don't go for it." Haymitch informs me, I glance up at him confused since this whole time he's been telling me to use my skills with the bow after I've repeatedly said I didn't prefer it.

"Why?"

"It's a bloodbath, they're trying to pull you in. That's not your game. You turn, run, find high ground, look for water. Water's your new best friend. Don't step off that pedestal earlier or they will blow you sky high." He continues, his face was stern and this felt like the first time I've ever seen this man truly being serious.

"Do you hear me?" He grabs my shoulders as if to force me to look him in the eyes. "Yeah, I won't do that. I got it." I nod my head, gently pushing him off of me. "You got this, [Name]." His eyes look sincere. I try to see some sort of worry or sadness. I don't see it. I guess the drinking after all these years has made him a good liar. "Thanks."

"Give me your arm." An attendant orders, I don't move. "Give me your arm." They repeat themselves and I do as I'm told. "What is that?"

"Your tracker."

I enter the catacombs under the arena, the long walls of nothing. I see Cinna at the end of it. I run over to him and hug him. I feel his arms embrace me and it felt safe. It reminded me of my father back home and I try not to tear up. To not give them that satisfaction.

"Here." He hands me my uniform. "Thank you." I whisper, quickly getting dressed.

"30 Seconds." It announces. "I'm not allowed to bet. But if I could. I'd bet on you." Cinna smiles at me, my face contorts and I grimace. "Save that bet for Peeta." I tell him. "Please."

"20 seconds."

"I'm scared." My chest heaves out. "You got this." He shakes his head.

"10 seconds."

He leads me to the tube and I enter inside it. "I'm sorry." He frowns. The tube closes and I put my hand up against it. My eyes wide in fear.

The platform moves up and I attempt to compose myself. Straightening my face. The bright light blinding me at first. I cover my eyes.

The countdown begins and I look around for Peeta. We make eye contact and I nod my head to go into the woods. But I don't think he knew what I was doing. I'm hoping Haymitch told him the same thing as me. I don't know what the play is here.

The announcer gets down to twenty and I look forward. Seeing if there was anything I could grab. Anything at all. My eyes spot a backpack that's sort of away from the others.

I know Haymitch is going to be angry with my decision. But once the timer finally hits zero. The gong sounds and the tributes run towards the Cornucopia. I have to look away from the sight of them though. I grab the backpack.

I hear someone behind me and I glance back. Seeing Clover the girl district 2. I notice the knives in her hands and she's getting ready to throw one. I block it with my backpack and begin to run as fast as my legs can possibly move.

I run into the woods. Haymitch said to get to high ground. These trees are easy to climb. Slightly reminding me of the trees back home. My body is still moving though. Getting further in the woods to make sure no one is behind me.

As I find a good spot I hear the sound of a cannon. And I wonder if I heard them when the others were killed or if I blocked it out. Not remembering I begin to climb up a sturdy tree.

My foot slipping at first. Katniss was always the climber. Gale and I stayed down. She was the smallest. I think of her quickness, how she looked when she did it. How effortless she made it seem. I get to the first thick branch that I know could hold me.

As I catch my breath I take the backpack off. Taking the knife that was lodged in the fabric. I smile to myself, I have a weapon I actually am good with.

I open the bag to see a rope, a thing of water, some food, and a few other things I can use to make a fire or maybe even a weapon. I use the rope to tie me to the tree. I wonder if any of those cannons with Peeta and I begin to worry.

Maybe I should've ran to him.

I shake my head from those thoughts, he's alive. I know he is.

I untie myself and climb back down. Using the stuff from the backpack to create a few snares. Afterward I head back to my tree.

I hear a buzzing sound above me that causes me to completely forget what I was just thinking about. Tracker Jackers. Muttations the Capital made. A bug that attacks anything that disturbs their nest. My body freezes.

I've seen what they've done to people. The large bumps people get. The symptoms they get. The hallucinations, the sickness and how mad people become. Sometimes leading to death.

I close my eyes, leaning my head back trying to ignore the buzzing sound. Maybe getting some sleep to rest up after last night and not being able to sleep then.

It's wishful thinking but I'm going to need it if I'm going to have to fight people. Then after I can check those snares, see if I catch anything to eat. Wanting to save the food from the bag.

I hold the backpack close in my arms, the string wrapped around my wrist multiple times to prevent it from falling.

My eyes open to the sound of the anthem of Panem playing. I look up in the sky and see the fallen tributes. Practically crossing my fingers in hopes of not seeing Peeta up there. As the faces are shown and passed.

My shoulders fall and relax when I know for a fact Peeta isn't dead.

But I then see smoke ahead, a Tribute warming herself up over a fire. The Careers were sneaking up on her moments later. I close my eyes tightly hearing her plead with them not to kill her.

They run past and I notice a familiar person upon them. My heart drops realizing it's Peeta.

They all laugh as he stays silent but following behind them. "Did you see the look on her face?" The boy from District 1 mocks the girl. "How stupid can you get?" The girl also from his District asks with a smirk on her face. I want to say her name was Glimmer.

"A fire?" The boy scoffs. "Oh no! Please don't kill me! Oh no!" Glimmer pretends to be the scared girl. "That's actually a good impression. Hey, lover boy! You sure she went this way?" Cato, from district 2 asks Peeta, I feel tears pool in my eyes. Not believing he is betraying me like this. "Yeah, I'm sure." He nods.

"You better be."

"Yeah, that was her snare we found back there." Peeta tells them, I block out the rest of the conversation. They make their way away from me and my head fills with the conversations Peeta and I had last night before entering the arena.

Was this his plan all along. To betray me, to team up with the Careers. I wanted him to do that. It seemed like his best way to survive but for a second...

For a second I thought maybe we could've done it together. Made through the games together even if that meant I had to die protecting him.

Masterlist

P.M. M.L.

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[veeluvss]

My Girl, Lily Prentiss (2)

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"Lily Addams," Emily said, clicking the remote. The entire team sat around the round table, concern clear in their faces and expressions. Prentiss could hardly get her words out. Lily was gone. Gone. "Seventeen," Emily said again, clicking on another picture of her. She couldn't tear her eyes away from her, seeing her all grown up. Her smile hadn't changed one bit. The apples of her cheeks kept the pink colour and her eyes still gleamed with happy tears in the situation. Her hair, a mousey brown now, was beautifully waved over her shoulders. Emily could see she kept active, knowing she loved the outdoors. Being deprived of it for so long meant Lily would do anything to be outside all the time. "Prentiss," Morgan said, voice breaking the silence. Emily nodded, tearing her eyes away from the picture. "Yes, of course." She mumbled, shaking her head. "Lily Addams, seventeen. Her parents came to me this morning to report her missing. She's been gone two days, no word, no sign, nothing. We need to hit the ground running and find out what happened." Emily knew she was making no sense and the team were only growing more and more worried. "Emily, what's going on?" JJ asked, sitting up in her chair. There was more silence as Emily tried to find the words.

"She was in protective custody," Emily whispered, taking a seat. She couldn't trust her legs to hold her weight. "Her parents, they, they were con artists. I went undercover to catch them. Lily - she was their daughter. They exploited her, kept her locked up, and hidden and used her whenever they could. They'd lure these women in and use them, rape them, do all sorts and Lily - she would love them with her whole innocent self because she had no idea what they were doing to them. They'd look after her, watch her, care for her. I did too. "I've always had her on my mind, she was like mine. My little girl in the darkest times. She was far too innocent for everything that happened to her," Emily explained. "I've stayed close by to her, following her family around the world. They knew. Every year, I'd send Lily a birthday and Christmas present. But now, she's gone." "And we need to find her," Rossi said. Emily nodded, still not daring to look at anyone. "We need to find her," Emily repeated. "I - I can't live knowing she's hurt and I couldn't help her."

The team jumped into action. Garcia did her tech stuff, trying to find what she could on her last known whereabouts. Emily and JJ spoke to her parents, trying to get to know them as much as they could. Rossi and Morgan and Reid went to the house, trying to find evidence there. Tara headed to her high school to talk to her little sister and Lily's teachers.

"What... what was she like?" Emily asked the parents, Gale and Tori. "Naughty," Gale sighed. JJ frowned. "What do you mean by that?" "She never listened," Tori said. "She was always pushing the boundaries, arguing." Emily could feel the anger in the pit of her stomach. "How was she at school?" "She never went to school. Didn't even know the meaning of the word," Gale scoffed. "Did you help her?" Emily asked. "We did everything we could," Gale said, nodding. "Honestly, Prentiss. If it wasn't for the technicalities of her childhood, we wouldn't have come. We think it's just drugs. Bad crowd," Gale shrugged. Emily walked out then, unable to control her anger. How dare they?

Morgan's eyes were furrowed as he moved around the girl's bedroom. "I don't know about you but if this was my bedroom, I don't think I'd want to stay either." "There's absolutely no personality here," Reid agreed, pulling back the covers of her bed. Then, he saw it. There was a ragged, grey, small baby's blanket tucked under her pillow. Reid pulled it up, inspecting it. It looked old. "Apart from this." He said. Morgan turned around and took it from his hands before quickly pocketing it. "You can't take that from a crime scene-" Reid said quickly, looking between Morgan and Rossi. "It's for Emily," he said simply, pulling back the girls' pillows but then he saw the picture. Under Lily's pillow was an old, faded picture. Morgan recognised Emily immediately, smiling, holding the girl close to her. The blonde hair leaned over and she was kissing Emily's cheek. Morgan had never, ever seen Emily so happy. Rossi looked over his shoulder, sighing. "She hasn't smiled like that with us, ever," Spencer said, looking at it too. "We have to find whoever the fuck took this kid. It'll destroy Prentisss if anything happens to her." Morgan said. He put the picture back and headed out of the room, dialling Garcia's number.

"Hey my chocolate milkshake," she smirked down the phone. "Please tell me you have some sort of lead," Morgan said, all he could feel was hurt for his best friend. Emily may have been his boss but since her first day, she and morgan had been the best brother-sister duo the team had ever seen. Their humour and personalities went together like the north and south end of magnets and Derek knew that without Lily in her life, Prentiss had been missing a big part of herself. He knew she had her secrets, everyone did. But one this close to her, one this personal, meant Emily had never cared about anything more. "I've managed to track some of her online whereabouts and Morgan, it's not pretty." She told him honestly. "Tell me." "She was very, erm, sexual online," Garcia said. "Porn sites, selling her pictures, exchanging messages. She didn't even try to keep it a secret Derek." "Could that be tied to it? Maybe a fan got freaky?" "I'm not sure. She managed to keep her identity pretty covered up. She was good at that, fake identities, and lives. She has whole documents with alternative lives for different people she spoke to. Hannah. Tina. Josie. All with different types of pictures too, different underwear, different roleplays. Derek, as painful as it is for me to say this, she was good at what she did." "Have you spoken to Prentiss?" "Not yet. I don't know how to tell her," Garcia sighed. "She's hurting." "She's just worried baby girl, don't... don't fret. We'll find Lily and get her help."

"What was your sister like?" Tara asked Skyla, Gale and Tori's biological child. "Private," Skyla whispered. "She never spoke to any of us unless it was arguing. She was always in her room, or out. She'd come home early morning and leave again only hours later. I hardly ever saw her." "So you weren't close?" "Not at all. I can hardly even call her my sister," Skyla shrugged. However, she kept her eyes down, avoiding looking up or around the room. "What's life like at home?" Tara asked, probing more. "Normal," she shrugged. "What's normal to you?" "Just," Skyla sighed. "You know, normal." "Your mum told us that Lily misbehaved, and argued," Tara said. Skyla nodded, agreeing. "Did she argue with you?" "No. Only mum." "What did they argue about?" "How quiet she was. Mum used to say she wasn't even part of the family. She.. she said that if they weren't tied by a contract, she'd be gone." Tara nodded. "Lily used to tell Mum that no one loved her, that she was alone." Skyla sighed, feeling bad for speaking badly about her mum. "Mum loved me, Dad did too. I think it hurt Lily, to see the difference. I tried to be mean too, to them to see what they would do but they didn't do what they did to Lily. I don't know why they hated her."

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