#wish me luck 4 my exams yall!! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tylerwritez · 3 years ago

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OKAY ANWYAYS its 10:57 p.m. Wednesday June 23

I'm gonna start writing my entry now so that later I'm not too exhausted to actually TALK about stuff.

Yesterday Bee gave me a link to watch Supernatural on my computer so later tonight I probably will.

I'm in class right now, we just had a test on evolution (boring) and I studied some of the book State And Revolution by Lenin (I also took notes) (he's 100 percent correct by the way)

I just had a wonderful discussion with my friend on Instagram XD it was kinda funny. I dont have much else to say Yet. I'm having a coffee and listening to Samaris

I guess that will be my song recommendation for today since I'm listening to it right now XD

Also my parents said yes to letting me go to Jay's house to watch Insidious after school, I just gotta be back for supper! I'm excited abt that... cos he is actually like. The best. So in honour of that or whatever I'm giving yall TWO song recs today... also I dont think I gave one yesterday so here is Jay's fave song XD we gave different taste you'll notice,,, if you pay attention to the stuff I reccomend

Like he listens to old stuff XD he liked this weezer song from my playlist so you get the vibes. WEEZER IS GOOD THO omg thank u K (I'm just gonna call him K) for recommending me weezer! I knew a radiohead fan would give me good music lol.

Actually I talked to K a while ago and told him about how insanely transgender the song Bodysnatchers is and he was like wow so true so I figured I'd tell yall to listen to this if ur trans because like I know everyone's got a #different experience but for me I was like holy Shit this is so trans

Anwyays idk it makes more sense if u listen to the LYRICS.

Please I'm supposed to talk about my DAY now we are onto music oh well I guess it happens sometimes plus I'm bored I hate bio class

Okay so now we have come to the thesis that kinks are contagious wow fun times in the insta chat XD

It's now 4:16 p.m. I'm back from school! Turns out I couldn't go over to Jay's cos he has work :( which made me a bit sad BUT IT'S OKAY! We can always hang out another time you know?

I'm just studying right now for my final exam... TOMMOROW

Update: 8:15 p.m.

I'm out biking. We've mildly vandalized a school, I'll attach images after I remove the exit data... it probably doesnt count as VANDALISM tho like it can easily be washed off.

My sister made some new friends her age and whatnot. Idk, just regular stuff.

Update: 10:43 p.m. I was frustrated while studying because some of the questions are stupid and I'm stupid and I cant remember TWO ENTIRE UNITS so that's fun. I got really upset. Idk.

Also Star is kinda being bitchy. Like, I know shes upset cos I dont give her enoguh attention but like... do YOU give me attention? Like, shes always so mean out of the blue, even if I try to be nice or if I'm BUSY AND NOT IGNROING HER, BUT BUSY... and it puts me off and it makes me not wanna talk to her like what's the point in saying "hey how was ur day?" If shes gonna act like a bitch to me :| I just dont understand like if she wants soemthing she should say it outright and PUT SOME EFFORT in jesus christ.

Sorry. I dont hate her and I'm not mad at her, I'm just fed up! I'm tired!!! Okay??? Am I not allowed to be exhausted sometimes?

Whatever. I mean at least I got to drink monster.

I gotta start dieting again cos I'm gaining weight :( and its upsetting me

Anyways this whole thing with Jay and Star is kinda confusing and dramatic and I'm kinda tired idk. Its MY OWN FAULT but I just want to be able to. Idk. Not hurt anyone. Whatever. It's too late now and it's not really worth trying anymore.

I hope Jay doesn't just totally ditch me when he goes to college... :( I would be so sad... it's a good thing I can spam his number and insta XD

Wish me luck on my final exam. I need it.

And if anyone knows any good ways to avoid cutting myself, TELL ME!!! Because DAMN I really want to go spend all my money on a four dollar knife/steal a knife then SLICE MYSELF UP. SO BAD. jesus.

I think I should just die I'm actually a horrible person.

Update: its 11:22 p.m. and my parents are FUCKING ARGUING AGAIN JESUS CHRIST JUST FUCKING DIVORCE ALREADY. I wish my lil sister didn't have to hear this shit... oh well. I'm already a shitty influence anyways so I guess it doesn't matter.

... have you ever seen your parents CRY? Because I have. And jesus christ it's the actual worst thing ever. Especially if you're young. Especially if it's YOUR fault... Especially if it's over shit you could barely even comprehend because of your age. Money. Shit like that. They LOOK at you with this expression, like a fucking wounded animal. It's the expression of someone just totally fucking defeated. The expression of soemone who is frightened. And its fucking scary, especially when it's your fault.

My mom does this every time she sees I've cut myself again. I hate it. Makes me wanna cut more because STOP IT. she always looks dESTROYED. It's the worst.

Sometimes they argue and fight and shit and they yell at you yell at you Yell at you scare you into submission and fuck having angry parents is terrifying because they're suppsoed to protect you and be understanding and gentle with you, the child, the cattle of the shepard, the egg of the black goat... ESPEICALLY WHEN YOU ARE IN PAIN. Every time you cry they get angrier and angrier, every time you wear what u wanna wear they get angrier and angrier, every time you are ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT THEY WISH YOU WERE... they get angry. You start to feel like maybe they dont ACTUALLY love you. There is a disconnect between what you need and what you are given. What you see in media and what you see at home. You start to feel like shit.

Eventually you learn that if you dont want the head of your favourite stuffed animal twisted off or your sisters barbie doll thrown out the window in a moving car or to be verbally insulted or to have them do SCARY things like make moves toward you before they remember they aren't suppsoed to hit you and just punishment that's emotionally fucking damaging all those words that you remember years later but they don't, every time they tell you they wish you were dead.... you gotta be quiet. Shut up. Do as you're told and don't say a fucking WORD. good boy. Upset? Don't tell them. Don't cry in front of them. Say nothing. Maintain the illusion, it'll keep you safe.

Soon enough your entire life is a secret and you need therapy but can't get it and wow, I wonder why I'm like this? I fucking wonder.

They aren't even arguing anymore but I wish they would shut up because I dont wanna hear their voices its making me ANXIOUS...

Sometimes I feel like I never got to develop past a certain point in childhood. Maybe 5, 10, 3, 6, I dont fucking know. Over 2 and under 10. Like my brain is emotionally stuck there and all of my behaviour is stuck there too. Sometimes if shit hurts me in ANY WAY I just sorta allow the bad hurt to happen. I tell myself, endure. Stay quiet, don't say a word. I've trained myself this way and now it's hard to learn to be loud and talk to people and be my own self without being scared. And part of this... is why I appreciate my friends and JAY. Jay, who always makes sure I'm okay. And everyone I know who likes to drop into my messages every once in a while to see how I'm doing... everyone who never forgets about me.

I'm actually so fucking appreciative of all my friends.

I don't know. I just... wish it was easier to sort out my shit but I guess not

Update: it's now 3:09 a.m. and I'm so fucking tired but whatever. I talked to Jay and it's hard to say much because I'm so tired but FUCK I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM JESUS CHRIST IM IN LOVE?!?!?!!! goddamnit it I just wanna be with him constantly...

Also I told him I was worried and he said, with his cute fucking voice, that I shouldnt worry cos he wouldnt just leave me. And. ThaNK YOU JAY. IF YOURE READING THIS, THANK YOU. Sometimes I get this dude's messages and just fucking smile. Hes the best and I love him. His whole self is a thing of beauty that I admire so much hes so charismatic and attractive and CUTE and I always tell him he's overconfident but MAN if i was that guy I'd be such a douchebag from confidence... dont tell him that though, xD like man I'm trying my best but at this point I wouldnt know what to fucking do if he went away. Like I'd cry so much.... I hope he doesnt move on from me too quick.

I'm so. I feel happy. Because I'm looking at everything and I feel so happy I'll cry and so sad I'll laugh. It's like being in a shitty coming of age movie where they play pop punk and the main character has his moment with the hot girl at the school dance or whatever bullshit. I feel like that. But its also like that same main character in his late forties stumbling upon an old photo of him and his highschool girlfriend and killing himself from love.

Here's what I'm listening to now... this plus a bunch of nostlagia inducing songs earlier... I just. Memories. So many. I almsot want to cry. Like. Look at them. Hold them in your hands as if they're these lovely little stones you found on the ground and put in your pockets cos they had cool stripes. Feel their WEIGHT. It's one of those things where it's so happy it's sad. It's so sad its happy. You're laughing and crying all at once and all you want is a hug. Because you can FEEL the human parts of you coming out, seeping out like a styro, starts off white then... blood. Humanity. I am vulnerable and exposed and I leave myself here.

HAN LEID, HAN LEID, HAN LEID,... han varr.

He walked, he walked, he walked,... he became.

I guess I'm still walking. But jesus christ. People affect me so much. So much. These memories, how it was cold or sunset or hot outside or nighttime and dark, how we were there as humans. I'd never be happier than in those little moments but you don't see it until years later. You don't see how important it was until you think of it and cry... fucking hell. Nils, Mark, Gabe, Max, James, Kyle, Liz,, every friend I've ever had. Nothing is better than music and memories because jesus christ I would've loved to have... died.

Died? No. My brain does this thing... I dont mean died. I guess I mean I wouldve liked to be frozen in those moments.

Sometimes I get a similar feeling. It's not the same, but its similar. This thing where you are so happy and grateful and sad because this is a tragedy and wow look. A happy moment in a tragedy. But jesus its happy enough and I want to cry because I really do appreciate the people who's lives cross paths with mine. I cry because I think of every little moment in which I knew that I wasnt alone and every little moment in which I felt their SOUL with mine and every little moment where my heart was touched... even unintentionally and in ways that dont make sense.

There was a girl, I'll call her Jade, I came out to her before anyone else. And sometimes, in the back of my head, I play that moment. In my mind. It was over fucking Skype. But I still felt it.

Oh man... I should proabably tell my coming out story. The story of how I came out to my parents. I was scared. I really was... but I felt like if I couldn't be ME, I couldn't live, or at least I didn't want to.

This was the song I played as I wrote a letter at... around this time actually, 3 or 4 am

I wrote it so spontaneously. I didn't even THKNK. I just wrote it. Because I was tired of crying myself to sleep every night and well... I had camp the next morning. That gave them a solid week or so to think about my letter... that would ensure they would be able to cool off whatever anger it would make them feel.

I wrote on one sheet of sketchbook paper front and back. I tried my best to explain. I tried my best. And that paper is stained with tears and still rests in my moms sock drawer

The whole thing got complicated after that... but in the end it worked out, with a lot of fucking work and persistence on my part.

Soemtimes I hope they look at it and cry themselves like how I did writing it.

Sometimes I just wish things were different. But they're not. I gotta deal with this.

But hey! Hey! We were happy earlier. Because... I dont kNow. I love everyone and I love the planet and i never want anyone to have to be hurt. Okay??? I love. Everyone.

Its hyperbole but still. I just want the best for everyone and I hate when other people are suffering cos it makes me upset. And. I don't know. I feel so... emotional right now. Like right now? I just want to hug everyone. And tell them that I'm here. And that it's okay. Look at me, dude! Look at me. I fucking made it... kinda. You can too! If you're reading this and you feel like shit... pull through. Please. I believe you can. I love you ANF I care about you and if you ever need help, message me.

Whatever I just. I dont know. I feel all like I just want everyone to be happy and at peace.... because I remember SO MUCH and all of it is making me cry a lot because I'm full of love okay? Like. I just care about people. I had to say goodbye to all of them but I don't fucking forget. I NEVER FORGET. It's a curse and... right now? The saddest blessing ever.

I had to say goodbye... yknow, I've never been good at goodbyes. I hope I don't have to say goodbye to Jay for a while. A long time. And when we do... I hope I can listen to his song and think of him and pull out every memory as perfectly as I can for everyone else. I just. I don't know. I see all these people in my mind, in flashes and it all comes flooding back to me. That isnt just a face. That was my friend and now they're gone. That was my friend and now? Not a word from them... that was my best friend and now its awkward. I don't want that anymore.. its painful. All of these people that have forgotten me years ago... who I still remember. Ouch. I dont know. I think I'm being dramatic because tlaking to Jay and being sleep deprived made me all mushy and then I listened to music. So.

Music makes everything feel so much more consuming but I cant live without it.

I dont even know

I'm just happy that I get to experience love.

Even if in the very end I am left alone... even if I'm tormented with memories of a happiness that can only be temporary,,,

I still appreciate it all and I'm full of love and appreciation I'm happy and i want to say THANK YOU to everyone

Signing off at 3:50 a.m,

Jude Shepard

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raiswriting · 6 years ago

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muse

request: art major!reader w law major!doyoung pls :cc bullet note format if u can!!!

a/n: he’s a year older than you but it doesn’t matter that much

warning: a few swear words oopsie

genre: fluffy college!au

pairing: doyoung x reader

summary: ummm basically just how you and doyoung meet and get to know each other

word count: 5.1k (oops)

lets GOOOOOOOO

okay so basically college has been a JOURNEY

people ALWAYS had some shit to say as soon as they found out you were an art major

it was usually “what are you going to do with that” “do you know how unsteady that career path is”

liKE I GET IT

do they really think they’re telling you something new????

oh I’m sorry your majoring in business Susan™ and you decide to throw away your passions just because some high school counselor told you that you wouldn’t be able to support yourself but IM going to make my passion a career

lol sorry I have a lot of feelings

now onto how you met your mans doyoung

your freshman and sophomore years, you had only seen him in passing

tbh you barely recognized him when you saw him more than once

you knew him as “that one dude that i always see in the dining hall wearing suits”

then junior year you got a job at the convenience store on campus (lets get this BREAD)

pls tell me it isn’t some weird niche thing that only my school has

aNyWHO he started coming in around 2 am right before closing

and ALWAYS picked up 3 coffees all of which had double shots of espresso

this happened about 2 or 3 times a week

(which is very unhealthy guys gals and nonbinary pals pls try to drink cold water instead, it helps wake me up or green tea)

so despite seeing him so often at work, he began to appear less and less everywhere else

were you lowkey kinda sad about it???

mAYhaPS

that was until winter quarter started

you needed an elective class, SO you figured ‘eh why not take philosophy’ you had heard around that the professor is really chill and overall the class wasn’t supposed to be that bad

WELL GUESS AGAIN

because that really nice professor that everyone loved isn’t the one teaching the class this quarter

but hey you figured let’s go into this with an open mind and hope for the best

well on day one of this class (which is a 9 am by the way) guess who struts through the door

mister “that one guy i’d always see wearing a suit” who became mister “that one dude who always buys too much coffee at 3 am”

the man… the myth…… the legend………….MISTER KIM DOYOUNG

yep and ya boi decided to sit 2 seats down from you, it was too far to say hi or anything (esp bc you had never really spoken to him before) but like he was also just close enough for it to be awkward

so class went by normally you found out that the new professor wasn’t THAT bad but there was definitely gonna be a lot of work involved

so yeah life carries on as normal

you still see him all the time at the convenience store

one night it had been a particularly rough shift

your alarm didn’t go off, so you were running late, it had started to rain on your walk to work, and when you finally got there your manager apparently had someone piss in his cheerios because he had S U C H an attitude because you were

TWO

MINUTES

LATE

you were sat behind the counter after what felt like hours of sweeping and mopping the floors

that’s when he walked in

you didn’t even lift your head to greet him as “hi, welcome” crawled itself out of your mouth

you did however notice when he sat his 3 cans of coffee in front of you

“hey your y/n right?”

“that’s what it says on my nametag”

“haha yeah it does. i think i have you in my philosophy class”

when you finally met his eyes, you felt a little bad

you had kinda been giving him the cold shoulder for something that wasn’t his fault

you gave him a little smile

“yeah i am. doyoung right?”

he nodded slightly

the air was a little awkward and silent as you scanned his coffees

as you handed him the receipt he asked “hey do you maybe want to study together sometime. i mean our test is in like two weeks and it’s a quarter of our grade so like if you were free we could hang out and get some work done?”

dUDE you froze

here he was standing right in front of you; messy hair, sweatpants, a sweatshirt repping your school logo and looking very nervous (but very attractive lmao)

i guess your reply took a little too long because he quickly started to back peddle

“i mean if you prefer to study alone that’s cool. i just always see you during lecture and you look like you understand the material and sometimes i get a little lost in terminology but if you don’t want to that’s fine too.”

you quickly snapped out of your haze

“no, no. i would love to study with you. here let me give you my number so we can meet up. most of my classes are in the morning so any time after like noon should be fine.”

you grabbed his receipt back and quickly scribbled your number on it before handing it back

“just text me when you want to get together”

okay honestly you had never been one to give out your phone number just like that and you didn’t really like studying with people

but something about him made it so hard to say no

you just had this urge to get to know him

so when he texted you a few days later asking if you were free to study that night

of course you said yes

and it went pretty smoothly

he has a much better understanding of the material than he let on at first

he even ended up helping you understand a few things

you got together w few times over the next couple of weeks

each time you met you got to know each other more and more

yall quickly became friends

well yall became friends after the first night studying because lets be real it was awKWARD

like neither of you felt particularly comfortable yet because this was the first time you had actually hung out with each other despite knowing of each other’s existence for two years

oh yeah that’s something you found out after getting to know one another

he had always seen you around campus and wanted to get to know you but never did because he thought it’d freak you out having a random stranger coming up to you like

‘hey I know you don’t know me but I see you all the time. let’s be friends.’

which isn’t THAT crazy but to each their own

okay but let’s jump to the time 2 days before your exam

you guys agreed to meet up at the library and the plan was to study for A WHILE just to make sure you were prepared ya know?

so like you get there and he was already sitting in a room waiting

when you open the door he gets up to hug you

which he hasn’t ever done before

and like tbh he was really warm and smelled really nice like it his cologne wasn’t too strong, and it smelt sweet but also very inviting which isn’t really a scent but like do you get me? and he gave a really tight hug like the type that you didn’t want to let go of it felt as though you could stay there forever (this is also where you lowkey start having feelings for him but shhh because you don’t realize it yet)

so back the point

obvi you start studying and besides the hug nothing was really that different

you got through the material, quizzed each other, talked a bit

ya know the usual

time flew by and the next thing you know it’s 12:30 am and the library would be closing at 1 so you decide to wrap it up

“alright doyoung i’ll see you in class. get some rest before the test okay?”

“yeah yeah i will” he rolled his eyes a little bit

“seriously dude. i know you. go straight to sleep when you get back to your place”

he worried you sometimes. He really wanted to do well and the applications for law school were opening up soon, so he’s been kinda stressed no matter how much he tried to hide it and this test coming up isn’t helping

“i will. i promise.”

he walked you out of the library and you two would usually part ways and walk alone to your apartments

before you could turn and say goodbye doyoung was already speaking

“hey it’s a lot darker out here than usual”

you looked up at the pitch-black sky

“yeah I guess it is, oh well at least I have my pep-“

“what? you have your pepper spray right?”

“no i forgot that i let my roommate borrow it. she’s going to a sorority thing and won’t be back until like 3 or 4. it’s fine though my apartment is only like a 10-minute walk. goodnight do”

“wait y/n. i’ll walk you back. it’s way too late and too dark for you to go home”

“no i couldn’t ask you to do that. you’re law and society class is at 8 am tomorrow so you need to get some sleep.”

“well i won’t be able to sleep anyway if I’m staying up worried about you. so lead the way.”

despite the cold fall air, your face felt hot

like you know that it’s normal for friends to be worried about each other but that didn’t make doyoung saying it any less charming

the walk back was nerve wracking

you guys normally don’t hang out outside of the context of studying

so like this was weird, nice but weird

and once you go to your door there was a cast of silence

doyoung was just looking at you

normally it would make you kinda uncomfy/insecure but right now you were calm

there was something about looking into his eyes

the brown was so warm and inviting

after a few seconds of the comfortable silence, he finally looked away

and I awkwardly cleared my throat “thank you for walking me home doyoung”

“of course, i’m just gald to know you got here safely”

“so um, i was gonna wish you luck just in case we don’t see each other before the test but i mean judging from our study session you won’t need it though.”

he giggled and i swear someone could have mopped up your heart because it was in a puddle on the floor

“shut up y/n. thank you though. i always appreciate your kind words. do you want to meet for lunch after the exam? i usually have a lab afterwards but it got cancelled so if you’re free we should meet up.” asjdjjklcbclkNCKDLSNCOS

“yeah i am free. i guess i’ll see you then.”

he took a few steps back “yeah i guess you will. goodnight y/n”

“goodnight doyoung. actually get some sleep tonight, yeah?”

you could see his shoulders shake with laughter as he walked down the steps

to say you were smitten would be an UNDERSTATEMENT

the smile that showed up didn’t leave even after you fell asleep

when you get to class on that friday morning, doyoung is already sitting in his usual seat

the bags that usually take their place beneath his eyes are barely visible today

hopefully he took your advice and actually went to sleep

after the test you both got some burgers for lunch and just talked it had nothing to do with the test which was nice

i guess y’all make a great pair because once the scores came out, both of you got A’s

after that studying together became a routine

every tuesday, thursday and saturday leading up to the next test, you guys would review or sometimes just hang out

it was a mutual decision to help each other study

even if you didn’t share the class, one would be there to quiz and make sure the other focused (most of the time it worked, other times you’d be the reason they got distracted and vice versa)

the two of you would go out for lunch on those days instead

as the quarter drew to a close and the break got nearer and nearer as did finals week

you and doyoung tried to keep up with your study schedule but it was getting harder

you had artwork due

you were particularly stressed over a sculpture that was assigned

your teacher gave you those choice of clay or marbleas a medium and clearly you chose clay

you were going to do marble but then you remembered the other 3 tests you need to prepare for and a portfolio that had to fit the theme of mythology

so basically you had a lot of art to produce and NO INSPIRATION like none, zero, zip, zilch, nada

you sat in the room you had reserved in the arts building

a pile of clay sat atop a slab of rock, a blank page of a sketchbook sat next to that

scrolling through pinterest had stopped working long ago and at this point you were losing hope

ring, ring, ring

doyoung’s name popped up on your screen

it was odd because you two usually texted for everything

“hey, do what’s up?”

“hi y/n i was just wondering if you wanted to grab some fro-yo. i just got out of another test and could use some company”

“ahh, doyoung i’m sorry but i’m stuck doing work. do you remember that mythology sculpture i told you about? well, it’s due next Wednesday and i haven’t even started on it yet”

his voice sounded so concerned “is everything okay? how are you doing?”

“i’m doing okay, just tired. i’ve been trying so hard but can’t find any inspiration” you sighed into the phone, looking out the window of your room

“what room are you in?”

“room 247 in building B. why?”

“just sit tight.”

the call ended before you could ask any more questions

okay when i tell yall it was less than five minutes and he was walking through the door just know that what i really mean is he rAN FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF CAMPUS TO COME COMFORT YOU

so yeah, he got there huffin and puffin, ready to blow your house down (with love)

“doyoung, what are you doing here?”

“well you were upset.” his tone was so matter-of-fact, and his eyes were so wide and innocent

honestly he looked so cute but like you were still very confused

what was he doing there?????

yeah you were upset but you also didn’t want to worry him

he casually walked over to a seat beside a window and pulled something out of his backpack

as he got closer and reached his hand out for you to take it, you noticed it was a sandwich

“it’s ham and cheese. light mayo, no lettuce or tomato”

when your eyes looked up at him he wouldn’t make eye contact

“you said this is the only way you take your sandwiches”

yALL

you only told him this once in passing because he was eating a sandwich with mayo

but pls tell you are putting the pieces together

he stopped to get you food and made it across campus in 5 minutes

the walk alONE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN 10 MINUTES

HE STOPPED AND GOT YOU FOOD TO MAKE SURE YOU WEREN’T SKIPPING ANY MEALS

MARRY THID MANFSJDLFG

alrighty anywho

obviously you took the sandwich and spent 5 minutes thanking him for getting it for you

he sat back down in his seat near the window as you guys chatted for a bit

the conversation slowed slightly and you were able to just look at him

the light was bouncing off his face perfectly

his eyes looked like freshly brewed coffee. they were warm and inviting

his smile somehow managed to outshine the light pouring in

there he was

in all of his glory

your muse

your inspiration

his expression shifted to one of confusion

“y/n, why are you looking at me like that”

he could be your subject for not only the sculpture but also the portfolio as well

“okay this may be an odd favor and you can feel free to say no”

your leg couldn’t stop bouncing up and down and you thought your hands might catch a cramp from all the wringing they were doing

“don’t be silly. what is it?”

“well, i was thinking maybe you could be the model for my sculpture.”

“of course i will but i thought it was supposed to be about mythology and i’m no greek god”

he chuckled a little bit

“shut up do. are you kidding me? your shoulders are like a mile wide. you have a great jawline and that smile? you’d have all the mortal girls falling for you i mean i did. that sounds like god-material to me”

he threw his head back laughing

mostly to hide the huge blush creeping up his cheeks

“okay, okay. i’ll pose for you. what do i have to do?”

“just sit still so that i can take some measurements of your face and then i’ll take some photos for reference afterwards.”

doyoung did as he was told for the most part

he sat there patiently

he kept peeking at your sketchbook as you laid out the rough ideas for a few of your other pieces

tbh you hadn’t even noticed

you were in the ZONE, you hadn’t been this inspired in a while and you wanted to take full advantage of it

you also hadn’t noticed the ,,,, um,,,, lack of space,,,,,, between the two of you

well doyoung had, to say the least

he sat there desperately hoping and praying that you wouldn’t notice how sharply he would breathe in everytime your hands touched his face to move its position

or that you couldn’t notice how much his hands were shaking and how he was constantly wiping them on his pants because they were very sweaty

finally, you had all the information you needed

as you stepped back and over to your chair in front of the clay, doyoung could finally breath

“doyoung, do you have any other classes today? i don’t want to keep you here if you have plans. you can go i can work off of the reference pictures”

he very vigorously shook his head

“no no, i’m free for the day.”

“okay. you should probably go get something to eat while get this started. this will probably be a long process.”

“yeah sure. do you want me to grab you anything while I’m gone?”

“nope i’m good. i already had the sandwich you brought me.”

“okay then i’ll be right back”

after he left it easy to feel the emptiness of the room

even though you were enveloped in your work it was still noticeable

the absence of his presence was palpable

the lack of it was almost suffocating

while you were worked on getting the basic shape and structure you found yourself unsettled

unable to get back into the ‘zone’ you found yourself in before

still, you pushed through the weird shift in the air, but it wasn’t long before doyoung came back with a bag of food

“hey doyoung.”

he glanced over at your pile of clay

“whoa. you made a lot of progress. okay i know you said that you didn’t want anything to eat but i brought burgers and some chips and stuff just in case.

“doyoung, you really didn’t have to. i would have been fine.”

he rolled his eyes but didn’t reply. he simply sat back in his chair and ate some of the fries that came with his burger

the hours seemed to fly by once doyoung returned

it also helped that you played music on the speaker that you brought

before you knew it, it was 5 pm and the sun was setting

you leaned back from your chair to stretch before standing and taking a good look at the sculpture

after about 4 hours of work, you were almost done

of course there were still things that needed to be touched up, like the hair and the eyes

you had decided on a pose of doyoung looking up and off into the distance

you turned and washed your hands in the sink at the back of the room

“here’s your burger if you want it. it might be a little cold, but it doesn’t have any mustard, lettuce, tomato, or pickle. that’s how you like it right?”

YALL HE DID IT AGAIN

HE REALLY JUST OUT HERE BEIN A WHOLE SWEETHEART

“yeah, how’d you know?”

“remember we met up for dinner before a study session a few weeks ago? that’s how you ordered your burger and you told me about how dill pickles were the bane of your existence”

“which they are” you chuckled “but i can’t believe you remembered that”

“of course, i did. i remember everything you tell me”

your heart melted for like the fiFTH TIME TODAY

you smiled and blushed before grabbing the wrapped burger from his hands

you guys sat and ate in comfortable silence

once you had finished you turned to him

“if you’re ready to leave you can. i just have a few things to add but it’ll be okay if you aren’t here. i’m just about out of daylight anyway.”

he playfully cocked his head to the side and crossed his arms

“y/n. i have a feeling you’re trying to get rid of me”

“maybe i am doyoung. whatcha gonna do about it?”

“cry.”

you both busted up laughing

once you had calmed down you looked at him

“seriously do. if you wanna go study or sleep or something go ahead”

he stood up and began to walk closer to you

“oh stop that. y/n it isn’t a burden for me to stay here with you. i’m honored that you would choose me to be the subject of your work and i love spending my time with you”

at this point he was standing right in front of you. looking down into your eyes.

there was no hiding the redness flushing your skin

after a few moments of silence, you looked back down at your hands

he speaks again as if you two hadn’t spent the past minute just staring into each other’s eyes

“so what next? are you gonna keep sculpting me or are you gonna draw and paint a bit?”

“ummm ,,, i kinda want to just finish the sculpture so that i don’t have to worry about it ya know?”

“yeah. where is the light switch?”

“right by the corner near the door”

as he flipped on the switch and light once again flooded the room

you were able to get a good look at the sculpture

despite it not being finished, you were still incredibly happy and proud of it

you sat back down in front of it ready to finish the work

it only took another hour or two to finish once you really got back into it

you spent the bulk of the time adding in all the little details

and you also decided last minute to add a wreath atop his head and the top of a toga

you took a final step back before sighing in relief

you were finished

you almost wanted to cry

while you were staring at the piece doyoung got up to stand behind you and look at it as well

“wow y/n. it’s beautiful.”

“well it’s you so i hope it is.”

LOOK AT YOU. BEING BOLD. OKAAYYYY

before he could say anything else, you walked back to the sink and while washing your hands, asked his help to put it in another room to dry for a few days before it goes into the kiln

“it’ll take a while to dry so i’m going to leave it here and head to bed”

“okay well i can walk you back to your apartment”

“alrighty”

okay so you grabbed all your stuff (with his help because doyoung is too nice to just walk beside you as you try carry 4 different bags filled with art supplies)

the walk back was kind of uneventful

you invited him in to drop all your things off before he headed out, not until you thanked him for spending the day with you and being your subject

okay so 2 weeks pass

you and doyoung meet up a few times because you need him to model a few poses for your portfolio

but FINALLY you finished your portfolio and sculpture and turned it all in

since then you have been relaxing, getting ready for winter break

well “relaxing” is a loose term

tbh you had been kinda stressed over the scores you were going to get on the artwork

and today, the day before the quarter ends, your professor would be handing back your portfolio & sculpture with a score

you decided to text doyoung after getting dismissed from class

y/n: “hey i get the score for my art project back today. do you want to meet up and we can find out together?”

doyoung: “oh my gosh yes. but are you sure you want me to be there?”

y/n: “of course do. you were such a big part of this, i couldn’t leave you out of it. besides you haven’t seen the finished portfolio”

doyoung: “okay. same art room as last time?”

y/n: “yep. i’ll see you in 20”

you were nervous. as you waited in the room, your legs couldn’t stay still so you decided to pace in hopes of calming yourself down

or at least having something to do

when he walked into the room, your eyes met

there was no hiding the frantic look in them either

“hey y/n. do you have it?”

you pulled a card from inside the front of your portfolio and set it down on the table

doyoung’s voice was soft and calming as he walked up to you

“can i look at it?”

he picked up the large folder

in a large gold print:

PROMETHEUS, he dies everyday but wouldn’t wish for any other way to spend eternity

“you chose me to represent Prometheus? what’s his story”

you began to recount the tale as doyoung slowly flipped through pages of your artwork

· “well he was the youngest of the titans, which were the creators of greek gods. it was said that he was also the kindest. when he looked upon the earth and saw how the humans were struggling, Prometheus felt pity and decided to give them a gift. he gave them a divine secret of the gods. he gave them fire. he did this despite knowing that Zeus would punish him if he found out. which he did. the other titans and gods were furious, so they tied him to a rock near the sea. every day an eagle would come and rip out prometheus’ liver and he would die. every night it would grow back bringing him back to life. this torturous routine goes on every day and night and according to the myth it continues until this day, as it will forever.”

as you finished the story doyoung closed the folder

all he said was “wow”

it made you nervous. “so ,,,,, do you like it?”

“y/n. this is beyond words. this is amazing. and you chose me?”

“well yeah i mean. you two just seemed to fit each other. you are the kindest person i know. you’re very generous too. so really it wouldn’t have worked if i had chosen anyone else or any other myth.”

he said nothing. just set down your work and hugged you.

you embraced each other. sharing this moment.

“y/n no matter the score on the other side of that car, just know that your work is beyond incredible. not just because it’s of me”

you both laughed before he continued

“seriously. you are an amazing artist. your art moves people. it makes me feel emotions that i haven’t felt in a while. it takes me on a journey.”

he pulled back and gave you one last smile before grabbing the card off of the table

“on 3”

“….1”

“….2”

“….3!”

a 97 was written in bright red marker

“oh my gosh y/n”

you two jumped back into each other’s arms

the smile on your face was ear to ear. there was no way it was going to fade any time soon

“I knew you could do it.”

“not without you i couldn’t have,” you say leaning back slightly, your arms still around his neck

he rolls his eyes at you

“seriously doyoung. if you hadn’t come by that day i don’t know what i would have done. you were my muse”

his arms were wrapped tightly around your waist

your eyes would have met if his weren’t staring at your lips right now

“y/n.” he whispered

“doyoung?”

“can i kiss you?”

“absolutely”

FUCKING FINALLY

ahem sorry I got a little excited for you

it was great. what can i say

it was everything you expected to be

before you thought that the whole “fireworks” thing was just movies overexaggerating

but NOW you can attest to that

the kiss with doyoung had so much built up tension and caring and passion and just wowza

when you finally pulled apart

both of you were slightly out of breath

doyoung still had this cute, dumb smile plastered on his face

he gave you a few more pecks

which of course made you have a big dumb smile plastered on your face

you actually pulled apart and out of his arms this time and took a look at the score card

beneath your score the professor left a little note

“i hope you don’t mind but i emailed the art gallery about your work. they have a small exhibition open if you’d like to showcase your art. here’s the email: _______. please consider it. you have serious talent.”

“an art gallery doyoung. an exhibition in an art gallery.”

tears fell down your face

this was an amazing opportunity

a dream came true

“i can come over tonight and we can email them.”

you just nodded your head

tbh you were still in shock

this was a huge opportunity

“so y/n. i know there is a lot going on right now but I can’t wait. will you be my girl/boy-friend?

“doyoung of course. can you help me take this stuff back to my apartment then if you want we can go grab something to eat?”

he nodded happily and grabbed the sculpture

THE END

goodness gracious that took a while

I hope you enjoyed reading this 5 thousand-word trainwreck

I know some of the stuff about creating sculptures isn’t accurate, but I need to make it work with the timeline I had in my head

I hope it didn’t bother anyone too much

but yeah

thanks for reading

also I didn’t proofread this so hopefully there aren’t many mistakes

if there are just message me and I’ll fix them

also also here’s a sequel type thing that doesn’t have to be seen as a sequel umm it isn’t as good as this one but here ya go

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miafic · 5 years ago

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okay i answered what i could (spoiler-free stuff) before i took my exam. wish me luck aaahhhh. this is the midterm and we’re four days into class. (20 hours of class in 4 days though so i mean.)

and i saw i have an ao3 comment (sarah was that your username?? i always confuse them over there) and im so excited to get to it next!!

thank yall for being so incredibly endlessly patient with me. i love you everyday, not just today.

#alksdfjalsdkfjadsf #i wanna start the august chapter but im like. way too busy.#i loved how when i challenged myself to write that last chapter in a week it got done in that week!!! maybe i can try to do that again.#obviously not this week or next bc i am slammed but.#hopefully soon.#thank yall again

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bolbianddolanhouse · 5 years ago

Text

BNHA self insert AU

Nani the heck is this? Read here!

Chapter 15: I’m Just Tryna Have a Good Time

Its Tuesday, T-minus 5 days until the dance and I have made up my mind on my pressing issue. Dress is 90% ready and I was feeling all my stresses leave my body.

-Stats and Strats with Jin-

“Hey, whatcha get on the quiz?” Jin asked me quietly “I didn’t do so hot.”

“I got a 90%, its passing” I responded back “and you?”

“I got an 86, thats my lowest test score in this class!” Jin harshly said “I’m losing it!”

“No you’re not” I comforted him as I took his test to compare “look here! Your responses on the short answer weren’t extensive enough and...you got one multiple choice wrong.”

“Did you get that one wrong too?” Jin took a peek at the two tests “I’ll be honest I didn’t understand that one, like what the hell is the percentage of successful cases in the country? We didn’t go over that!”

“Yeah I got it wrong too, I thought I was trippin because I swear I saw that number in a different class” I reflected back “I aint too worried about it tho.”

“You really are maxin’ and chillaxin’ huh?” Jin sighed as he took back his quiz “I’ll go talk to sensei about it then.”

Class ended a bit early and I had no after school duties, so I had extra down time to get my dress finished and fill out my internship paperwork. I teleport to the dorms and see the boys practicing their slow dancing in the commons room.

“Um am I interrupting something?” I tried to suppress my laughter “what am I looking at here?”

“AH! Palma-san!” yelped Kirishima “we were just practicing our slow dancing, since we all have dates.”

“well...everyone but Koda, Iida and Mineta” Ojiro sliding in with the facts “but Koda isn’t going, Mineta is gross and Iida is having trouble asking a certain someone.”

“Oof I heard about his trouble asking” I bluntly stated “I heard they’re hard to get a hold of but they seem to be close from the way he speaks about them, hope they meet soon.”

The boys looked at each other and exchanged looks of confusion. “So like, who do you wish would ask you to the dance?” asked Sato.

“I don’t really care, maybe somebody I know? I don’t have eyes for anybody” I thought out loud as I took off my shoes “I just want to look and feel pretty while having fun! Having a date is optional in my agenda.”

I walk to my room and the boys murmur when I closed my door. I didn’t leave my room until everyone was in their rooms so I could have a quiet dinner. My dinner in the dark was disrupted by Iida turning on the lights, thinking I was the food thief that’s been eating other’s lunches and leftovers for the past 3 months.

“Oh its you!” Iida said relieved “I know you aren’t the food thief.”

“hahaha nah, I’m just having my dinner” I giggled “time flies when you’re putting finishing touches on your dress.”

“It’s near completion? That’s great to hear!” he congratulated me “how’s your offer choosing going?”

“I decided to go with Best Jeanist”

“WOW! with the number 4 hero!” He exclaimed as he pulled me in for a hug “I’m so proud of you for getting such an offer! He’s an amazing person, Bakugo interned under him and turned out better than ever!”

I was taken by surprise with the hug, he was squeezing me but not like he used to. It was much more gentle and I wasn’t lifted up, face smashed against his chest. I took in his scent and it was pleasant and not too strong, I put my arms around him forgetting that I was in the kitchen. If I didn’t snap out of my little daze, I honest to God would’ve kissed him and ruin everything.

“Thank you Tenya” I said breaking off the hug “glad that you’re happy with my choice.”

“Why?”

“It’s just that my classmates were giving me flack on turning down alot of agencies that they wanted to get offers from” I said turning back to my plate of food “but all I said to them was ‘get gud’ because it’s MY choice and I know what the heck is up.”

“That is true” he said yawning “well I’m going to bed, good night Ita”

“Good night!” I say with a forkful of sliced beets. I thought to myself as he walked away wow what is wrong with me? Thats the 3rd time I’ve been tempted to kiss him but I know better! He’s just being nice and its just my stupid feelings getting twisted when I get any sort of attention from boys.

-Next day, leaving the nurses office-

“Oof that exam took longer than I thought Muffin 2.0″

“Yes! it took up all of class time and 5 minutes of lunch”

“Wow really?!” I exclaimed as I turned the corner to head to the intel wing “so much for catching the last half of hero class.”

I walk down the hallway where classroom 1-A is and see Iida walk out.

“Oh hi Tenya!”

Iida looks up to see me and the robo-dog.

“Ita! You’re ok!” He said running toward me.

“Yea hehe, I was due for my well-being check up and it took up all of class time.”

“Oh I see...did everything go well?”

“Yes, I am in better shape than 2 months ago thats for-” I started then got disrupted by my phone, it was a text from Mimi.

[WE HAVE A SITUATION IN THE SITUATION ROOM! CODE GREEN!]

My face turns pale and I didn’t hear what Iida was saying.

“...so if you’re already going, it would be my-”

“hmm? Oh sorry to cut you short but I’m needed at the situation room” I said as I started running down the hall and turned back to follow up “um if you aren’t busy later we can finish up!” Before Iida could say anything I bolt out of sight with the robo-dog. I get to the situation room (its just our commons room where we cook and eat) and see a bunch of students freaking out over the rice cooker that was on fire! I didn’t know what to do and I spotted Mimi and Jin screaming at Diya sensei in the corner, huddled and rocking himself.

“I have contacted All Might!” screamed Hansai “HELP IS ON THE WAY! I REPEAT, HELP IS ON THE WAY!”

“What the hell is All Might going to do?!” I yelled at Hansai “flex out the fire?! fuckin DETROIT SMASH our rice cooker and call it justice?!”

“You know what, I didn’t think that call all the way through” Hansai reflected on his choices “oh boy, press F for our soon to be deceased rice cooker.”

Our door bust open with All Might crashing in “do not worry agents! I AM HERE!”

We all point and scream at the rice cooker and All Might looked like he was questioning his life choice on becoming a teacher as he stared at the comically unfortunate fire. He takes his hand and just smothers out the fire, we just explode with how anti-climatic it was to have the number 1 hero to just lightly pat the fire out.

“Thank you All Might, and your yaoi hands!” spoke up Jin.

“Jin you can’t just say that to a hero!” I said face palming at that comment.

All Might looks at his hands, realizes Jin is right and just walks out without saying anything.

“SEE! Now he’s insecure!” scolded Yuka “how the hell do you just make the number one hero insecure?!”

We never let Jin live that down. Our day went about normally and I went to the dorms to see if I could finish that conversation with Iida. He was busy and I felt sort of bad that I just brushed him off like that. I really wanted to know what he wanted to tell me. It bothered me into the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that. Its day of the dance now and I was going to have fun! Ain’t nothing going to ruin this for me! I made the last stitch on my dress 2 hours before I was supposed to get ready and she was perfect! I get started on my hair and makeup when I get knocks on my door, what now?

“Who is it?”

“its the girls! we have an emergency!”

“Oh no! come in!”

The girls burst in and Mina melted part of her bottom hem, Uraraka went too heavy handed on the eyeliner and Asui’s curls didn’t come out right. With some teamwork and cooperation from Momo, I got some matching trim to sew on the hem to hide the blunder. I had Uraraka wipe off her makeup while I brushed out Asui’s hair to redo the curls. I redid the makeup while the hot curlers were working on Asui. When everything got fixed and they went on there way back to their rooms, I saw that I had less than an hour to get ready! I really pushed my luck to finish but I was still the last one to get ready. All my panic left my head when I put on my faux mink coat, I took one good look in the mirror, I felt so pretty and looked gorgeous. I spritz on some perfume and grabbed my clutch to feel my fantasy before walking out.

“Ah! sorry I took so long!” I said briskly walking to the commons room to meet the girls “had to perfect my makeup and lost track of time.”

“PALMA-SAN YOU LOOK LIKE A PRINCESS!” squealed the girls over my final look. “The bouffant updo really makes for the princess look!” admired Momo.

I blush and we took our photo and some selfies before heading out.

“Ok we should go now! We had our dates wait long enough downstairs” said Uraraka walking to the stairs “Are you coming with us Palma-san?”

“Oh uh I was just going to teleport there” I played it cool like I wasn’t a little envious that I was going dateless “see yall on the dance floor!” They leave and I see them walk arm in arm with their dates. I text Mimi and Jin that I am making my way over soon, as I’m typing all that out, I hear someone from the boys side close their room and walk to the commons room. In walks Iida, wearing a dark grey suit with a lavender colored dress shirt and gold bowtie, he had a small white box in his hands. I looked at him and stopped typing, he looked so handsome and a bitch might get wild and hold his hand. He stared back at me as he couldn’t believe his eyes either.

“Wow Ita” he broke the silence and walked toward me “you look so stunning!” He got my hands in his “I can’t believe you made this dress yourself! The result was well worth the effort, so beautiful.”

I turn red “you don’t look bad yourself!” I look at the box he set on the table “is that for your date OH that reminds me! Who is your date anyways?”

Iida looks at the box then at me with embarrassment “Yes and um, you see, well...” He let go of my hands to pick up the box “I’m not good at these things but um I was trying to ask you to be my date to the dance. And I had so many opportunities that we were alone together for me to ask but...the words couldn’t come out and I got nervous every time.”

“Oh Tenya” I said now realizing that I was the elusive certain someone “how could I not put 2 and 2 together that you were trying to ask me! Sorry I’m such a mess!”

“No no no! I was being a coward!” he shifted blame on himself “so... if it’s not too late, Itati, will you be my date to the dance?” he said as he put his hand out to me, shaking.

I giggle and put my hand in his “I’d love to go with you Tenya.” He looked at me surprised that I said yes at all. He smiled and kissed my hand. I open my purse to reveal a boutonniere I made with a fresh white rose, baby’s breath and white sage with a gold ribbon. “I made this in case I got asked last minute at the dance, but since you asked me here, this is yours.” He leaned in for me to pin it on his coat pocket.

“I got your flowers too” he said as I lifted my arm eagerly to get the corsage “hmm? why are you- oooooh, it goes on your arm” he said like he fucked something up.

“Whats in the box then?” I asked suspiciously, now that I looked at the box, it was more like a cake box than a corsage box.

“Ok so funny thing... I was under the impression that the flowers you give to your date is supposed to go on your neck or something and-”

“So what is in the box Tenya?”

“It’s flowers, but” he said as he opened the box to reveal a half circle of white roses with violets and sprigs of lavender with a gold ribbon on the ends “it looks like this! hehehe please don’t get mad.”

“I love it! it’s like a flower crown!” I cried out as I stuck my head out for him to put it on my head. He carefully puts it on my head and I get giddy “how do I look?”

“Like a princess, shall we get going, your majesty?” he said breathlessly as he stuck out his arm to me.

“Yes lets but lets teleport there!” I said as I sent the text I meant to text earlier to Mimi and Jin “um it gets a bit, awkward so um close your eyes!”

“Oh ok” he complied “so now what-” I stopped his sentence as I got his arm to shove into my cleavage, as it gets tricky to teleport things when I wear certain bras that hide my sternum. When he opened his eyes, I had already teleported us to the place but he also caught glimpse of where his hand was before I dropped his hand.

“Oh look we’re here! hehe HEY ITS MY FRIENDS! See you inside!” I tried to play it cool as I T-posed to Mimi and Jin.

“Ita! you look like Princess Diana!” fawned Mimi.

“And you two look like 90′s prom king and queen yourselves!” I complimented back.

We walk in and see that it wasn’t poppin yet, Jin and I took care of that as we dished out some hot dance moves as Mimi gassed us up. Everyone else joined in soon after they saw Jin praising the Lord, thats when I dipped out to find Iida. I saw All Might, Aizawa in his sleeping bag, Nezu, Vlad and Midnight chaperoning the dance. Midnight saw me and called me over with Iida

“Aww look at you two! Let me take your picture” she said as she took out her phone to take the picture. We pose ourselves facing inwards with his arms on my shoulders and mine on his waist. She takes a few pictures and sends them to me. As I was about to get some water from the refreshment table, Midnight came up to me and whispered in my ear “do you need condoms? I got some if you’re not heading back to your dorm right away.”

I gasp “what- no! I’m not- not with him!”

Midnight opens her purse and put 3 in my hand “Here, just in case. Have fun! Be safe” she said as she winked and walked away.

I ran to my purse to put them away before anybody saw me. I danced to more songs and saw that Iida was just sitting at a table by himself, not really having fun. They announced the slow dance and I teleported over to Iida.

“Hey, shall I take this dance?” I asked with my hand out

He laughed a bit “Aren’t I supposed to ask you that?” as he put his hand in mine.

“Who cares!” I cried out as I lead him to the dance floor “We’re just trying to have fun!”

The slow dance was to Love on the Brain by Rihanna, I put my hand on his shoulder and the other holding his hand. We start moving but clumsily, I noticed that his other hand was pointed outward like he didn’t know where to put it on my body and was too afraid to guess.

“Oh Tenya hehehe your other hand goes on my waist.”

“Right! ok” he complied and got in the groove of my movement. We were locking eyes at some point, I think damn am I really gonna go for it and ruin our friendship? Boy is giving me those love me tender eyes. Meanwhile, Iida was thinking Okay Tenya, you’re in position to kiss her DONT MESS IT UP DONT MESS IT UP! Oh god she’s giving me those concerned eyes, I’m losing her attention! My gaze shifted to Kirishima and Bakugo, kissing on the dance floor.

“Look! I knew they had a thing going on.” I whispered to Iida to look where I was looking.

He looked and cleared his throat “urm um, should- should we be doing that too?” he asked nervously with sweat beading up on his forehead.

“I mean if you want to” I said calmly “I won’t force you to do it.”

“Ok then, here I go” he whispered as he brought me closer. My mind went crazy holy shit he’s really out here, giving into peer pressure...why is he shaking? oh jeez thats alot of sweat, dude chill! I was about 2 inches away from his sweaty face when I heard the 1st word of Crank Dat by Soulja Boy.

“OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SONG!” I yelled as I broke away from Iida, realizing I kinda fucked up I turned back and said “uh rain check on that kiss?”

Iida sighed in relief “Yeah! um you go ahead and dance and I’ll just go...over there.” He briskly ran into the bathroom and wiped down his face and hands that were damp with nervous sweat. He looked at himself in the mirror “What a mess of a man I am! I couldn’t even kiss her with consent! Maybe she doesn’t like me back and I’m just wasting my time because I’m not cool enough to be a love interest.” He washed his hands and shot himself down with all the reasons Ita doesn’t see him as a love interest before leaving the bathroom. Tokoyami steps out of his stall, then followed Kirishima and Bakugo out of the big stall, and lastly Tetsutsu in the stall far from the others.

“Wow that was so sad” said Tetsutsu “who was he talking about?”

“Our classmate Palma-san, the agent” responded Tokoyami “he’s been trying to confess to her for months and he barely asked her to the dance literally 10 mins before the dance.”

“Oh the girl with curly hair and speaks spanish?” Tetsutsu realized “he’s not the only one, my buddy Shinso and classmate Monoma have a thing for her too. Don’t blame them! She’s talented and can kick anybody’s ass.”

“Are you serious?! Two more people are after her heart?” Kirishima perked up “Iida-kun needs to seriously seal the deal with her. They’re meant for each other~”

The other boys look at Kirishima like he’s delusional. Back at the dance, there’s a full blown whipping circle of 20 people. The dance ends like 20 mins before curfew and I wasn’t ready for anything to end yet.

“That was fun but this after party is gonna pop!” I holler with Mimi and Jin as Iida walked beside me.

“What’s an after party?” curiously asked Iida.

“Its someplace people go after an event just to hang out or party some more until the sun rises.” I explained “all the cool kids are going to the Intel 3rd years’ after party in their dorm! Super exclusive, invite only thing that we and a plus one got invited to.”

“Well, I’m a plus one” slyly said Iida “Can I go?”

“Can you handle being awake for that long?” I asked concerned “I wouldn’t want to ruin your regime.”

“HA! I can handle it! I can be cool” he said flexing his arms “the night is still young isn’t it?!”

Jin looks at his watch “Its like 8pm, the after party starts at 10pm, so yes the night is very young.”

“Well what are we waiting for sukas!” Mimi said striking a pose “portal us to the nearest convenience store baby boy!”

Jin summons a portal and drag Iida into it and we walk into said store and bought a variety of snacks and juice. We walk out and spot Mirio and his friends

“Oh jeez its them!” I said trying to lower my voice “Jin summon portal before naked man spots me!”

“aw fuck ok!” Jin said rushing a portal “this portal may or may not lead us 4 feet above the living room.”

We run in and pile on the intel 1-A living room. We laugh it off and Iida witnessed us pre-gaming on half a bottle of white wine while preparing the snacks we were going to give.

“I didn’t know you were a drinker Ita” observed Iida “I could understand your friends being drinkers but not you.”

“There’s alot of things you don’t know about me Tenya” I said before downing my last glup of wine in my red cup “I’ve been drinking for a while but mostly just at these parties with the right kind of company.”

“Would you like a sip of wine?” Jin offered Iida “there’s enough for another quarter cup if you’re game.”

“No thank you” Iida declined politely “I won’t touch the stuff until I’m of legal drinking age.”

“Oh man good on you!” I said feeling the wine take its affect “I couldn’t wait that long so when my crush offered me some sour vodka during band camp, suddenly BOOM I became a one of the cool kids.”

I told one of my band camp stories to bide the time before heading to the after party. We take the elevator to their floor and we enter when things were getting interesting. It was basically a dorm themed club with live DJ set, bar and lounge areas. I get a drink and chat with some of the upperclassmen that took the practice test with us while Mimi was tryin to get lucky. I spot Iida looking around and feeling a bit out of place, I walk over to him

“Hey, you feeling ok?”

“Yea its just that I don’t really know these people aside from you.”

“Well, I guess then I should stick by you” I said with all the liquid courage running through my body “but first, I gotta get another drink.”

“Please allow me!” he said taking my cup “you just save me a seat over here and I’ll refill your cup.”

“Whatever you say Tenya” I said throwing myself on the lounge chair to save his seat.

He walks up to the bar “Um hi, I’d like to refill whatever the girl in the flower crown was drinking.”

“Sure thing dude” said the 3rd year as he mixed up the drink and served it with super speed “also would you give her this, and tell her to call me sometime” as he slid a champagne glass of a sparkly pink drink with a number written on a sticky note.

Iida takes the two drinks “thank you, I’ll let her know” knowing damn well that he’s not going to because she’s his date, not this 3rd year. He walks over to her and gives her the champagne glass, sans sticky note.

“Whats this?”

“They were out of something so I said to give me a drink that a pretty lady like yourself would drink and they gave me this.”

I was too tipsy to pick up on the smooth talking “Oh si? Spot on hehehe”

“Yea and I got an alcohol too, just trying new things tonight.”

“Cheers! I’ll drink to that” I said clinking my drink to his “to new things!”

He takes a sip and almost spits it back into the cup. It was sour and strong with a weird texture. He looks into the cup and sees its this pink drink with gummy worms in it, turns out its 2 parts sour apple vodka, 1 part watermelon juice, splash of Bacardi and sour gummy worms to taste. Iida was about to get his shit rocked as he downed the drink to look cool and proceeded to dance like never before on the dance floor. Ita joined him on the floor just to make him feel more comfortable. Every time a boy got a bit too close to her, Iida swatted them away with his chops to let them know she was off limits.

“Wow Tenya! Nice moves!” I gas him up “Now you’re having fun!”

A bit later, when I was drinking some water to cool down and sober up for more drinking, Iida gets sloppy on me.

“Hey! Pretty lady...you’re pretty”

“Oh man Tenya, drink some water”

“nah nah! I’m good! I just wanna...uhh tell you somethin”

“Oh si? Like what?”

“Like, hehehehe you make my brain go stupid and I wanna kiss you”

“You’re drunk, thats just the liquor talking!”

“No...I mean it, I want to kiss you. I’m gonna kiss you right now!” he said as he leaned in, over puckering his lips. Before he could, I saw him gag a little and I knew that he was going to throw up.

“No kissing! You need to go to the bathroom!”

“I don’t need to go potty! I’m a big boy!” he mumbled as I drag him to the bathroom so he can puke. Lucky for us, the bathroom I chose was empty. I unbutton and loosen his bowtie “You wanna see my muscles?”

“No, I want you to throw up before you embarrass yourself.”

He looks at the toilet and gags again until he gave in and threw up. I rubbed his back and told him it was alright to let it all out. After 5 mins of on and off vomiting, he stood up and started crying.

“You hate me! don’t you?! I ruined your night!”

“No you didn’t! I had a great night.”

“Not that!” he said in between sobs “what kind of man doesn’t kiss their date? I’ve been wanting to kiss you and give you what you want, I know you like kissing and dancing, so whats wrong with me!”

“There’s nothing wrong with you Tenya! I just think I’m just not the best 1st choice” I explained myself half tipsy still, wiping the vomit off his face with a wet paper towel “I drink, lie, fight dirty, swear like a man and kiss strangers...not exactly first choice or worth the trouble for somebody worth more.”

“S-s-shut up Ita! You’re like, the most amazing girl in my eyes, I want you to be my love! I love you!” he said slumping himself onto me “there, I said it! Don’t be mad.”

I sigh tiredly as I know it’s just the booze talking and I shouldn’t take his word seriously “Come on big guy, lets get you to bed.”

“Will you sing me a lullaby?”

“If you behave”

“And tuck me in”

“Of course!”

“And tell me goodnight?”

“Yes Tenya”

I take him back to the party to give him water and some chips and orange slices to eat to mask the taste of vomit when he wakes up in the morning. I say my goodbyes and I teleport him to his room. I stumble a bit, as I am still a bit drunk and helping a drunk to bed. I take off his shoes, coat, bowtie and glasses so he can lay comfortably in bed. He lays down and almost instantly falls asleep, I tuck him in and I get sleepy just looking at him. I check the time, its 2am, gently kissed him on the forehead and decide to lay down next to him. Because I know these beds can hold 2 people. I take off my shoes, coat, flower crown and bra to lay down next to him. As I drifted to sleep, I secretly wished that he said all those nice things about me when he’s sober. And that he’d kissed me as he held me close. My eyelids felt heavy and I closed my eyes on one of the amazing nights of my life.

“Goodnight Tenya” I whispered “don’t freak out in the morning.”

-End Chapter 15-

#bnha #mha #not canon #self insert au #chapter 15 #will update regularly #ask me anything #i wish i could draw the dance scene #can you tell Iida is my fave lmao

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bolbianddolanhouse · 5 years ago

Text

BNHA self insert AU

Nani the heck is this? Read here!

Chapter 19: Itati the Mysterious One

Its the next day, my body was achy from my quirk straining but I didn’t care. I got dressed to head to the dining hall, not everyone from the agent team was up yet but it was a bit later than we usually get up. Coffee and food was waiting for me as the other 3 wanted to bask in the glow of success. Tools noticed me chatting up with the agents and ran up to us.

“Palma-san! You came back unscathed!”

“Um she’s more than okay!” said agent 44 “this girl single handedly took on 2 villains as I escaped for my life!”

“Don’t forget that she made that one villain shit himself in fear that she was the new super villain in town!” said the brown haired agent “son, she’s the real deal!”

“Oh boys! you praise me too much” I get flushed by all the praise “but it’s all true, I can’t wait to see Jinko and Jeanist’s faces when they see that everything was a success!”

“You took on TWO villains?!” Tools was in disbelief “impressive work Miss agent” he grabs my hand to kiss it “I hope I get the pleasure of working with you, I’ll be around.” He leaves and the other agents look at me, knowing that he was the mystery neck biter.

All the agents gather in the boss’s office to give a full report. Jeanist, Jinko and Vest man were shocked to hear that I did that. Praise was given and with the information about the base and the 4 names of the villains, they have an idea on who to hear for and where. We get dismissed and we train all day until dinner time. I retire to my room and I get a knock on my door.

“Who is it?”

“Its Iwa, are you decent?”

“Um yea, come in”

“hey Palma-san, were you about to go to bed?”

“No, I was going to scroll through my school emails” I put my phone down “whats up?”

“I was just popping in to see if you had anything planned for tomorrow? It’s a day off.”

“Oh shit you right, um I don’t.”

“Cool! Would you like to spend the day with me?”

“It depends, what did you have in mind? I’m low-key not down to go out.”

“That’s fine, we can just hang out here” he closes the door and locks it “darling~ may I have another?” he whispered. Giving me those love me tender eyes as he comes closer “I can’t stop thinking about you and how soft and warm you are, may I share in another session with you?”

I giggled “oh Iwa, you beg so politely for my kisses” I pull him in “come here, comfort me.” We get so soft and cuddly that we fell asleep on each other. I offered to teleport him in the hallway but he didn’t care if he gets seen coming out of my room. The agents had me tag along with them in the morning for some ‘American’ breakfast, mainly so I can explain why its like that. It was decent but I tell them how Mexican breakfast is and they preferred something like that than whatever we just ate. Back at the agency, one of the side-kicks asked me to teach them some Spanish, it spiraled into teaching them the bad words and throwing them around. I finally see what they do for game night, it’s video games! I just sit back and watch with Tools, he gets bold and puts his arm around me. At this point everyone got the idea that he was neck biter and teased us for it, I didn’t care, a bitch was getting more action than they were! Tomorrow was going to be my last day at the agency and I was kind of sad that it was. As it was getting late, Tools walked me to my room.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Hm? oh I’m just a bit sad, it’s my last full day tomorrow.”

“Oh that’s right!” he remembered now “you’re interning, I forgot that you aren’t a permanent addition.”

“Silly, but I wish I was part of this agency” I sighed “you guys really liked me being around here and the agents especially found me useful.”

We arrive at my room, he puts his hand on my face “I really hope that when you finish at UA, you come here and work with us. I especially like what we have” he kisses me “I’m going to miss your strong feminine presence and these sweet, indulgent sessions.”

I get so red that I almost lose composure “Ah! you spoil me with your words!” I pull him closer “but come in, show me how much you’re going to miss me.” We spend another night together, with consent, he guided me through male pleasure through clothes. Mainly because I asked and I did NOT want to know what Tokoyami had down there. It was educational but something about knowing all this unlocked a part of my sexuality that I didn’t know I could unlock. We fell asleep in each other’s arms again and woke up to the sound of his cellphone alarm. Before he walked out, he re-marked my neck and put his number on my phone just in case we don’t see each other before I leave. I do an average routine day with the agents with paper work and gun maintenance in the morning, overview and surveillance until early evening. I start packing and I start getting sad because now I have to go back to those crackheads in the dorms and suffer another month and a half of living with them until my dorm reassignment. But on the flip side, I can’t wait to spend time with my class on our adventures in agent internship. I close my suit case and I hear the shuffling of the others really close to my door, what are they up to? The sound of heavy knocking threw me off.

“Who is it?”

“It’s 44 OPEN UP!”

I get my stun device, just in case. I open the door. To my surprise, it was all the agents and they were giving me a going away party.

“Oh! you guys I’m going to cry! Y’all too sweet.”

“You’re a very promising agent 19. We can’t just get you leave without a proper send off.” 44 said as he put his hand on my shoulder.

“Enough talking, time for shots!” hollered the brown haired agent as they gave us a shot glass of clear liquor “TO AGENT 19! And her future success!”

We down the shots and continued to drink more with some others. I get parting gifts of booze and the agency’s patch, only official agents get patches for each agency they work with/successful mission. I was so happy that I got the respect that I deserved in their all male environment, too bad I wasn’t a permanent part of the team. I excused myself to bed as I had to wake up at 7am to finish packing and head back to the dorms. I woke up the next morning dreading the return, I pack, have my final coffee time with my fellow agents and head to the town car with Jinko.

“It was an honor to have you Miss Palma” bowed Best Jeanist “you are always welcomed back here, I may call on you for missions and best of luck on your time at UA.”

“Thank you so much!” I bowed back “you don’t know how grateful I am to have been a useful part of your agency. And how much faith you have in me to pursue my dreams.” I turn to the others that came out to send me off “Bye Bye y’all! Hope I get to work along side y’all again someday!”

“Bye Miss Agent! Good Bye! Best of luck!” they all yelled and waved.

I get in the car and wave at them until I get out of sight. It was a cloudy Sunday with not too many people out, so the ride back wasn’t terrible. I see the dorms and my car, ahhh dorm sweet dorm. I bow Jinko good bye, got my stuff and walked in the dorms. I was the 1st one back from my class, so I wondered who was in the hero dorm as I walked up the stairs. Everyone was waiting for me in the commons room, it scared me a little.

“SHE’S BACK!” screamed the girls as they ran to hug me.

“Oh y’all missed me missed me” I get squished in their collective embrace “y’all would NOT believe the time I had there!” They release me and Iida comes up to me.

“Dear friend! How I’ve missed you!” he brings me in for a hug, but it was different, it was a tight but secure one. He releases me from his embrace “you have to tell me how was Be-” his gaze shifted to my bite marks on my neck and his expression changed “oh, I see that you had nice time.”

I look at him confused but then I saw where he was looking and I covered it with my jacket “Um yea I had fun hehe” I got embarrassed that he saw and looked disappointed in me “I’ll tell yall more later, I have to unpack and meet with my class in their dorms, I just saw 2 more roll up.” I briskly walked to my dorm to unpack and everything was were it was supposed to be. I just shoved my dirty clothes in my hamper, put my weapons and jumpsuit in the case under my bed and put my travel case of toiletries and makeup on my desk to unpack later. I changed into a hoodie and burst out of my room to see Mimi and Jin that just rolled up to the dorms. We run up to each other and hugged, we really missed each other. I helped them to the dorms and we all spend time together talking about our adventures and if we learned anything new. Diya came up to the dorms when everyone settled back in for some announcements.

“Ok glad to see everyone back in one piece! Now its 2 and a half weeks until the end of the school year, not much to do but take the final. For the B class, they are preparing to take the agent exam to get in our class, so get ready for a slightly bigger class next term. Entrance exams went well, our new batch of agents have been selected and waiting on their decision. Big 3, you have some diplomatic and welcoming duties after the holiday for those students. And that is all for now, see you all in class tomorrow for review.”

“Thank you sir!” we shouted in response before getting back to our conversation. I stay until late afternoon and teleported back to my room. I grab my hamper and head to the laundry room to wash finally, I overhear some of the boys from the cracked door of Ojiro’s room.

“Are you sure that’s what you saw?” asked Midoriya to Iida.

“YES! clear as day” Iida’s voice broke through “now stop asking me, it’s not a big deal.”

“It is a big deal Iida-kun, we all saw your face when you saw them” Aoyama butted in “you were so happy that she came back and then you looked almost devastated when you saw her love marks.”

“I was just shocked that she’s back on her kissing around, haven’t seen a single mark since the whole Mirio thing” Iida fixed his glasses “guess she was bored of her options here?”

“tch, that denim wearing geezer runs an all male agency” Bakugo chortled “the youngest member is an 18 year old side-kick from Osaka, my money is on him being the neck biter. Face it four eyes, she’s into older dudes.”

The boys agreed but Iida wasn’t having it “But consider this, pretty sure she isn’t dating this boy and honestly...she can do whatever she wants, we got into a pretty nasty argument and discussion about her promiscuity. While I think she’s risking her reputation, I’m not considering her need for intimacy and how much she likes it.”

“What are you saying Iida-kun?” spoke up Shoji “you’re just going to let her run rampant like that? So easily after saying that you were going to protect her since she’s alone here?”

“I’m saying that I’m going to be a better friend to her” he said while standing up “I trust her to be safe in anything she wants to do, she’s nobody’s property to control and I’m not her father. So if you’re done with your pestering, I’ll be leaving to my room.”

I knew it, I thought, he was doing all this because he pities me being alone. I guess I should throw these feelings away before they get in the way of my goals. I teleport to the laundry room before Iida saw me, now things aren’t going to be awkward. After doing my laundry, I get all my things ready for the upcoming week. I have a lot of one on ones with Monoma and Shinso planned for these next 2 weeks, and to be honest, I am not looking forward to Monoma’s time with me. He’s not showing progress nor has perfected one special move to showcase, it’s just an hour and a half of him talking shit and not doing shit. Meanwhile, Shinso has been hauling ass on our sessions and really taking to heart on what I have to say. I’ve been helping in developing his quirk techniques, Aizawa sensei has been developing his fighting techniques. Needless to say, Shinso is highly favored to move up to the A hero class.

-Wednesday, In homeroom-

“Jin, you still up for that Stats and Strats study sesh?” I asked a very burnt out Jin.

“My body is telling me no, but my grade is telling me yes.”

“What is your grade?”

“94 percent.”

“BITCH THATS PASSING! EVEN IF YOU DO DECENT ON THE FINAL!”

“IM 6 PERCENT FROM PERFECTION FUCK YOU!”

“Ahem, Matsui, Palma and Oleshin” Diya cleared his throat to get our attention “a word in the hallway.”

We walk out to the hallway in panic because we aren’t sure what we did to get the hallway treatment.

“You aren’t in trouble but I got some information that’s a bit disturbing.”

“What is it sensei?” asked Mimi “how serious is it?”

“It involves our program funding, so like a 8 on a scale of 10.” he exhaled to prep himself to give us a full run down “As you know, since the addition of the dorms, it cut into the school budget quite a bit. We don’t get donations in because we hardly produce notable alumni to put our program on the map, so we are in dire need to get funds or the tuition for agents is going increase by 15%. That’s quite a bit that can be avoided, that were our class comes in. This A class has produced some of the best agents in years with you three being the focal point of that. What I’ve been told by a colleague from the East-side school is that their a panel of private donors that are scouting their next big donation. What I thought up is this: Our class goes and presents our term 1 group projects, talk about the program and dorm experiences, maybe some tears sprinkled in to get these donors to give us their money.”

I think about the perfect scenario playing out and perked up “Question, if we do get this money, does that mean better living conditions and more ‘field-trips’?”

“Oh definitely, we’d get the entire dorm done like an actual agent tower instead of a shitty communal apartment. Plus, we can take part of the forest challenge. It’s like the hunger games but with guns and nature that will kill you if you lack the skill.”

“We’re in!” we exclaimed together.

“Great! I’ll arrange the day to present, I’ll announce the situation on the day I get the confirmation.”

We get excited for the soon-to-be improved program. After school, I get a chilling realization about what Diya told us.

“Hey remember how sensei said that this school hardly produces any notable alumni?” I said as we walked down the intel wing.

“Yea? What about it?” responded Mimi.

“That means that everyone before us was just meh or didn’t make it past grunt work after finishing here.”

Jin stopped mid sip of his water “Oh shit, you might be on to something. If that’s what it’s come to, does that mean that we set the bar too high for the next wave and future waves after that to the point of failure upon entering?”

Mimi’s eye’s widen “Holy shit guys, I can’t believe we’re up there. All because of dumb luck, that sucks ass for the future agents tho.”

“I don’t know about y’all, but I’d donate to our school if I get high paying agent job.” I get into my lofty ideals “I’d give back to the people that are paying for my education too.”

“Same, I’d give back to the housing I was in before the dorms. They really came in clutch for my asylum claim” chimed in Jin “plus they’re in pretty shoddy conditions too, I’m pretty sure we’ll get good work right away.”

“I’d donate probably nearly half of my earnings to the school if we do get good work right away” Mimi gets a bit emotional “it’s something my dad would want me to do. I was also thinking that in my retirement, I’d come back here and teach weapons or be a homeroom teacher for agents.”

“Dang that was noble as fuck Mimi” I was in awe “I don’t have the capacity to do that shit, hats off to you, I’m sure you’d be an amazing teacher.”

We get to the dorms to turn in for our studying for the final, I for one, was stressed too soon into the week to be pulling all nighters. I waited for everyone to turn in for bed to head to the roof to smoke a joint, thinking I was all sneaky, I walked up the stairs to get to the roof. To my concern, the roof access door was unlocked, I had my hand on my baby glock that I keep on me at all times in case of attack. I walk out to the roof to see just Aizawa, rolling up his blunt.

“Oh it’s just you, got me on fight mode and shit.” I said relieved as I took the joint out from behind my ear.

“You want some sleep too huh?”

“Yes sir, everyone got me fuck up on their dumb shit.”

“What you smoking tonight?”

“A heavy hitting indica, you?”

“A hybrid” he said as he patted his pockets for his lighter, I whipped mine out and flipped it on for him to light up “wow, you do stay ready.”

“What can I say?” I light my joint and take a puff “ain’t nobody gonna catch me lacking.”

We stand there puffing away in silence, vibing a bit in the moment. He spoke up “So, Midnight tells me you’re being a little vixen with the hero boys.”

“HA! I was until things got messy” I rolled my eyes “I don’t know what’s up with these goody-goody hero boys and their manga-esque ideas of love, ya know, like it won’t KILL you to kiss somebody. Taking the small shit so seriously like the rule is; you kiss, you marry...bleh.”

He takes a long drag and exhales hard “What about that Iida boy? You got some of us convinced that you did the deed with him.”

“Psh! The only thing he got lucky in was getting in that after party with my squadron. He got sloppy drunk off one drink and I had to babysit him and turned in at 2am.”

“That’s rough but you got that boy pussy whipped”

“How?” I narrowed my eyes at him because I don’t believe that.

“The boy is obeying you and won’t stop talking about you. You should’ve seen him when you left for those 2 weeks, he dusted and vacuumed your room” he took a puff “even as far as making sure nobody snuck in your room. If you ask me, he has a big dumb crush on you.”

“I see that too but he doesn’t” I blow out a smoke ring “he pities me and, not to shit on his lineage, but him and his brother are about to end that long line of heroes with them. But if Tensei needs a wife down the line, shid I’d bite the bullet and do it.”

“Is it because he’s the hot one?”

“hehehe....yea” I giggled dryly “but real shit, I didn’t command him to do anything for me, it’s basically charity work.”

He finishes his blunt and stomps it out “Good girl, don’t involve yourself in these hero boys” he starts walking to the door “they can’t handle people like us.”

I finish my joint and walk back to my dorm, it was almost 10pm. The sounds of the boys chattering filled the hall as I walked to my room. Sleep came as soon as I hit the pillow, what a fucking mess I came back to I thought as I closed my eyes can’t wait end this fucking year to go where I belong.

-Friday, in homeroom-

Diya walks in to see all 9 of us groggy from studying “Good morning everyone! Now, we are 1 week and a half away from finishing the term. How exciting?! I have more good news!” he explains to the class what he told Mimi, Jin and me “...our display date is next Thursday at 6pm. I want all of us in our BEST attire and the projects nice and polished. Also quick switch around, our final was changed to Tuesday on that half week of school instead of Wednesday. Don’t ask me why, thats what the school board told us.”

Jin turns to me and Mimi “Do I hear a shopping trip today after school?”

“yell hea!” Mimi and I responded.

I was in a better mood the whole day, as I love shopping with my friends for matching outfits. I was thinking about that pantsuit I’ve been saving to get for 7 months, dang I thought it’s been that long? then that means its been a little over a year since the incident! I didn’t even notice, time flies when you’re dealing with fuckery. Hero class went by quick as we were just reviewing and I was much more confident in myself since getting those notes and hints as payment. I pack my bag to head to the commons room when Aizawa called me over.

“Miss Palma, may I have a word with you before you go to lunch?”

“Um yea” I responded a bit confused on why he wanted to talk “what’s going on?”

“Since it’s finals after next week and you aren’t in the hero course rubric, would you like to just take the multiple choice in the teacher’s office during your free period?”

“Oh right, because the others have a field exam part” I recalled what I’ve been overhearing “sure I can do your suggestion, do I get to pick the day?”

“Yes you do”

“Alright, wednesday then.”

“I’ll mark that down in my agenda, also, I’d like you to help the others train during the class period leading up to the field exam” he said as he wrote in his binder “they need all the help they can get and to make it worth the time, I’ll issue it as extra credit.”

“Oh wow really?” I expressed my concern for just how badly they need help “I’ll help out, thank you sensei.”

“Good girl, thats all for now” his gaze shifts to the slightly cracked door “looks like that manic boy from 1-B is waiting for you.”

I turn around to the door, it was Monoma and I almost cackled at Aizawa’s spot on description of him “Oh him, wonder what he wants” I grab my bag “thanks again sensei, have a good rest of your day.” I open the door and smiled at Monoma “hi there, were you waiting for me?”

“As if I’d wait for somebody of low rank like you, agent” he scoffed at my politeness.

“Ok then, bye” I turn to leave so quick that it startled him.

“NO WAIT!” he grabbed my arm “I want to arrange saturday and sunday afternoon to help me with my technique.”

I heard the desperation in his voice, pretty sure his teacher told him something that scared him into this “Ok that can be done BUT we can’t waste time with the talking like the last 2 times” I look him in the eyes with seriousness “I can’t make a miracle happen in time for the test, I need your COMPLETE cooperation and hard work...got it?!”

“Yes, got it” he was taken back by my change of attitude “does 3pm work for you?”

“Yes that works” I T-pose for teleport “see you then, Monoma.” I teleport out and Monoma didn’t have a chance to say anything back. A voice spoke out to him.

“Wowie Monoma” it was Shinso “you basically begged her to save your ass for the placement test.”

“HA! It’s just that I have developed so much that I merely want to perfect myself” Monoma was a bad liar, everyone knows he’s not trying hard enough “I bet you haven’t gotten past her close range exercises!”

“Actually, she’s been such a help! I have 2 new techniques that make me impossible to evade my brainwash” he flatly boasted “oh but I bet you can hold a copy for how long now, 6 minutes? Can’t wait to hear all about it when I’m in the class next term.”

“You’ll swallow your words when you see me with my arm around her in the halls next term.”

Shinso stopped being smug “Like she’ll want to be with you, some arrogant wannabe that’s too much of a bitch to-”

“Who are you calling a bitch, you raccoon eyed, nest for hair! She can’t resist a man of class, such as myself!” Monoma gets catty “She’s going to be all over me when the holiday rolls in, can’t wait to swoop in to warm her up and give her what she wants.”

Meanwhile, I’m just groaning about my filled up weekend. I don’t have any real downtime to myself, its all study sessions with different people throughout the day. All that goes away when I go shopping with my squadron, we go with the white and shimmering theme with our look. I got the pantsuit I wanted in white AND in a tasteful pink because they went on sale after I saw them last back during the summer. I got other clothes too and shoes with all that money I saved, we were gonna look POPPIN for this interview. We wanted to look the part of the Big 3 by being the flashiest bitches there. Mimi got a flared fitted dress with a cape and sparkling shoes to match, Jin got a white formal wear pants and shirt with a shimmer sliver vest, bowtie and matching dress shoes. Plan for that day is to wash up and portal to my room to get ready, make up myself and Mimi, load up the car with Muffin 2.0 and 2 other classmates to drive to downtown to present. Everyone else is going to get picked up by Diya and his colleague that told him about the donors. One less thing to worry about, now on to the rest of the week and a half.

-Fast forward, Sunday in the practice grounds near the dorms-

“Come on Monoma!” I yelled from the top of the slanted building “you’ve copied my quirk before, this vertical climb should be a breeze!”

“It’s not easy when you use so much brain power to sustain it and-”

“WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THE EXCUSES!”

He gets angry and hovers up shakily “I would like to request another quirk to copy.”

“I can’t summon anybody dude! Nobody wants to train with you or be around you for the copy!” I get stress-anger “I’ve literally exhausted all my resources to help you.”

“Well you have a small pool of resources-”

“THATS 25 FUCKING PEOPLE THAT I’VE BROUGHT IN OUR SESSIONS AND NONE OF THEM WANT TO COME BACK!”

“You don’t have to yell at me” he looked at my with scorn “your problem is that you aren’t doing enough for me to succeed.”

I look at him like he’s lost his mind “do you know what, you’re right, I haven’t done enough.” He gives me a snarky look like he won or something, I didn’t let him speak yet “so why don’t you go to some other copy quirk user with mastery in multiple quirks with more resources? Hm? I’m sure you heard of one if you’re talking down on my efforts to make you into the fiercest fighter on that field.” I throw his things at him “Here’s your things, don’t let my incompetence stop you from greatness!”

“Wait no, please Palma-san” he dropped his things to stop me from teleporting off “you’re the only one that can help me, I don’t know anyone with the same quirk. It’s just that these methods are so hard” he couldn’t look at me in my eye “this can’t be the way you learned, a child couldn’t surpass me like that with all the things you’re making me do!”

“I don’t know what to tell you Monoma” I put my hand on his face to make him look at me “I grew up fighting for my dominance and respect with my abilities, if you can’t fight to gain the respect you deserve” I took my hand away and backed up “then you’ve lost way before the fight even started.” I go to pick up my things and start the climb down “today’s session is over, come back to me when you want to actually put in the effort. I’ve had enough of your immature ass.”

“No, come back! I’ll change! Please!” he pleaded with me over the edge.

“NO! You clearly aren’t improving, don’t follow any of my advice nor take advantage of the others I bring in for the copy” I hop to the ground “I wasted 3 months of work with you, what’s the point of asking for my help if you don’t utilize it?! Am I just a joke to you? I don’t need your words to make me feel like garbage, my sister does that for me already.”

He teleports poorly in front of me “I’m sorry, just please” he grabs me by my shoulders “I’ll make it up to you! I’ll give you what you want! Money? Coffee? Kisses? Drugs? A boyfriend?”

“Full offence, there’s nothing you can give me to make up all this wasted time” I broke free from his grip “Good bye Monoma, I wish you luck on your placement test.” I teleport out to my dorm. I vented out to Tokoyami but I was too distraught to get cuddly, I go to the roof to smoke another joint as the sun sets. I cry out my frustrations with a joint in my hand, what the fuck is up with these hero wannabes? I think to myself I wouldn’t have these problems if everyone just dealt with things on their own in the first place. Why am I the only one that can help them? I ponder these things as I watched the sun disappear into the horizon. It’s starting to get really cold at night so I left the moment the chill was unbearable. Walking down the stairs and into the boy’s dorms was my wind-down walk, so I can re-join the rest without bringing my high thoughts and feelings. Iida was waiting for me at the kitchen counter.

“Hey Ita” he said gently “I heard about your argument with Monoma today, so I saved you some dinner that some of us made.”

I looked at the plate of food and immediately knew Kaminari and Kirishima made dinner, only they would make beef bowl with a side of beef and one lettuce leaf for vitamins. I chortled “thank you, that was very thoughtful of you.” I sit down to eat and he sits next to me, I start sweating because I really didn’t want him to know I smoke weed.

“You can’t hide from me” he put his hand firmly on my back, causing me to ring the panic alarm in my head “you were stress crying on the roof, weren’t you?”

I breathe out in relief, I was too high for this type of conversation “Yea I was, I just had it with that manic boy” the beef was seasoned just right and I was in munchie heaven “I cut off my services to him.”

“I’m proud of you for putting him in his place” he hugged me and sniffed my hair, oh boy I’m in danger “was there something burning where you trained? Your hair smells like smoke.”

“Oh yea I caught a whiff of it toward the end of the session” I tried to make a believable excuse “hopefully it’ll wash off when I shower.” I finishing eating and Iida leaves halfway through my meal. I go full sicko mode in the shower, just scrubbing my hair to get the smell out. I finish my shower, still high but wrapped in my towel and hair in its twist. Walking out of the shower, I see all the boys in various forms of nudity and washing. I fucked up BIG time. We just stared at each other in shock but knew I belonged there and had every right.

“ya know what” Kirishima spoke up “this isn’t as weird as I thought it was gonna be, she’s just trying to get clean and covers up.”

Everyone shrugged it off and continued on their things, except Iida “Here let me- DON’T LOOK DOWN!” he ordered me not to look at him climb out of the tub.

“Oh please Tenya! I’ve seen a whole lot of you before this” I tossed him a towel “and I have to say, you have a nice butt.” I walk out of the bathroom and the boys go crazy in the bathroom.

“Bro she’s into you!” Kaminari elbowed Iida “there is no way you can deny that flirty comment.”

“Well I suppose she’s right about seeing my body beforehand” he dries himself “and that comment did sound a bit flirtatious.”

“I’ve just had enough of this avoidance” growled Bakugo at the sink “just take her to coffee after finals four eyes!” he slams down his toothbrush “confront her about all the shit you’ve been suspicious about, and if she likes you, great! Maybe you’ll finally man up.”

“Confront her? Won’t she get all avoid-y and dodgy?” Midoriya asked.

“Thats the point BUT she won’t run if it’s him” Bakugo points at Iida “she has a trust in him that doesn’t make any sense” he folds his arms “why keep the guy that made her cry on the first day close to her, be friends with him, take him on her adventures, going as far as swaying him to break and bend the rules...all that and doesn’t return your attempts of intimacy?” the boys start muttering and reflecting on all the accounts he listed “she dated Mirio and conveniently broke up with them right before her practice exam, she won because she used him as a stepping stool. I don’t know what strings she’s pulling to gain from by grooming four eyes here, don’t you want to know sooner than later?”

Iida thinks about it and realized that he was right. He finishes up his routine and goes to bed hoping it wasn’t true that she’d use him. But what if it is true? he asks himself am I just blinded by my own attraction to her that she uses it for her own gain? Too many questions popped up....bold of them to assume anything about my motives.

-End Chapter 19-

#bnha #mha #self insert au #chapter 19 #not canon #will update regularly #ask me anything #yea I made aizawa into a cat loving weed smoker hehehe

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