#wish i could record a voice note in the chat to explain all my feelings

[ghosts-of-love]

everyone say well done charlie for going into the office twice this week!!

[kpoppwriter]

Soulmate!ATEEZ Headcanons - Meeting their Soulmate

 ❧ Anon asked: Heyy! I was wondering if you would like to write an Ateez soulmate!au headcanon? like what type of soulmate bond would they have (tatoos, colourblind untill they meet their soulmate, feeling pain when soulmate feels pain...) and how they will meet their soulmate very briefly. I hope is okay for you and i explained it well. Love the blog💞

❧ Anon asked: Hii can i request a fluff non idol soulmate au scenario of yunho? This is specific but can u include it where both of u are able to sense and feel each other's emotions and feelings? I love ur writing. Thank you 🥺🥺💕💕🥰🥰

❧ A/N: so I looked up a bunch of different soulmate aus so no one would have the same one and oml there are a lot of soulmate aus. Some of these are non idol!au as well this took me so fucking long to write omg each one is like the size of a drabble

~※ Main Masterlist ※~

Hongjoong - You can hear whatever song your soulmate is listening to

That familiar sound of singing echoed in your head. You were practically hypnotized by it. You were so entranced that you didn’t realize you had been zoning out while standing in front of the recording studio. You shook your head and headed into the studio. The group you were going to work with for the day stood up and greeted you. You noticed they were practicing for the recording. One of the boys got up and went into the booth to record. You put on your headphones, as did he. You started recording then started the track. Your mouth went slightly agape when you heard that familiar voice but this time in the headphones. You pulled yourself out of your thoughts when you heard the man asking for your opinion on how the recording sounded.

“I think...here, try it like this.”

You sang the last part, the part he had just recorded, changing a few of the notes to fit the track better. Now the man in the booth was the one with his mouth open. He blinked a couple times before looking back at the lyrics in front of him. He’d definitely have to say something when the two of you had a moment. 

Seonghwa -  The outline of your shadow is your soulmate

You stood with your back against the sun, your shadow hitting the pavement in front of you. You stared at the shadow trying to engrave the outline into your memory. You were so curious about the shadow that you saw whenever the sun was bright- What were they like? Did you know them already? What did they look like? Who were they? 

While you were lost in thought, your friend Seonghwa walked up beside you. He called out your name bringing you back to reality. You looked over at him, sending him a smile. You looked down at his shadow. The shape felt familiar to you. Too familiar... 

Yunho - Feel each other's emotions

You sighed as you leaned back in your desk chair. You were far too stressed out from your homework. You really just wanted to stop worrying about your homework but you had to get it done for class the next day. You ran a hand through your hair, deciding maybe you should take a bit of a break. You made your way to the kitchen to grab a snack and some water. When you returned to your desk, you heard your phone ringing. 

“Hey Yunho,” you said answering the phone

“Hey Y/N. You feeling okay?”

“I’m just a little stressed out right now. How’d you know?”

“I guess I just have a sixth sense,” he chuckled, “You wanna hear what Mingi did today?”

You let him tell you the funny story of his adventures with Mingi, making you feel a lot better. He was always right there the moment you started feeling bad, even if you didn’t tell him. Maybe he did have a sixth sense...

Yeosang - A red string tied around your pinky is connected to your soulmate’s pinky

You’ve never seen your red string. You knew it was there, everyone had one, but you were never close enough to your soulmate to actually see it. That is, you didn’t see it until you moved to Seoul. 

You were out at a local coffee shop just relaxing on your day off. You sipped on your drink, a book in your other hand. You looked up briefly when a small group of boys dressed in athletic wear wandered into the coffee shop. They were chatting among themselves as they got in line to order their drinks. You didn’t think much of them until you went to take another sip of your coffee. Out of the corner of your eye you saw a bright red string tied in a bow around your pinky. You followed the string with your eyes until you were met with one of the boys. He noticed you staring between him and your pinky, his eyes glancing down at his own pinky. He quickly muttered something to his friends before coming over to you.

“Hi, I’m Yeosang.” 

San - Timer for when they’ll first meet

“You have to stop obsessing over your timer,” Wooyoung peaked over at San’s wrist

“It’s almost hit 0 though! I’m going to meet them any minute!” 

San and Wooyoung continued to walk through the halls of the KQ building towards the practice rooms. They didn’t notice you also walking down the hall. You were looking down at your phone when you bumped into something- or rather, someone. You apologized profusely, a dark pink blush appearing on your cheeks. The blush was mostly from the embarrassment of running into someone but also because the person you ran into was rather attractive. You quickly scurried away down the hall. San and Wooyoung just looked at each other in confusion and surprise. Wooyoung’s eyes glanced down at San’s wrist. 

“Hey, look!” 

He pointed at the counter on San’s wrist. There was a large zero where the numbers counting down used to be. San looked up at Wooyoung then back down the hall where you went. 

“Wait, were they...?”

Mingi - Write something on your own skin, appears on the other’s skin as well

You were too young to know. The two of you just thought you both had magic powers or something. No one told you about how soulmates could draw and write on each other. You wish someone had. 

You rushed into your kindergarten class and sat down at your table. You pulled out a piece of paper and your crayons. You started drawing, your eyes constantly glancing up at the door to the classroom. 

“Y/N!” 

In came your best friend Mingi, a large smile on his face. He sat down beside you and looked over at your paper.

“That’s a pretty rainbow,” he smiled

“Thank you,” you giggled, “You wanna draw too?”

You dug around for another piece of paper but you didn’t notice Mingi had already pulled out a pen and began drawing on his arms. You giggled when you started seeing the flowers and stars appearing on your own arms. You took out your own pen and doodled on the free skin on your arms. The two of you happily laughed and doodled together completely oblivious that you were sitting beside your soulmate.  

Wooyoung - Get the same injuries as your soulmate does

“My soulmate needs to chill out. This is the third bruise this week,” you groaned while putting some ice on your leg

You left the nurse’s office and headed towards the entrance of your school. Just as you were about to leave, your friend sent you a text. You mentally slapped yourself. You had promised your friend that you’d come with them to the school’s dance club meeting. You really wanted to reschedule due to your bruised leg but knew they’d scold the hell out of you for rescheduling on them for the third time. You sent a text saying you’d be there in a second before limping down the hall towards the music room. 

You arrived at the music room a few minutes later, your friend standing outside the door looking impatient. 

“There you are!” they looked down at your leg, “Did you get hurt?”

“I didn’t,” you huffed, “My soulmate did.”

“Ah, well at least Wooyoung won’t be alone then.”

“What?”

“He hurt himself and can’t really participate today so the two of you can hang out.”

The two of you walked into the room, the other members of the club greeting you. Your friend introduced you to Wooyoung before going off with the other club members. You tried to strike up a conversation with him, asking him about his injury.

“I bruised my leg trying out a new dance move,” he said pulling up his pant leg to show you the purple bruise that looked similar to yours, “What about you?”

You said nothing, only showing him your own bruise. He looked between your leg and his, his eyes going wide in surprise. His eyes wordlessly said what you were both thinking.

Jongho - Each other’s initials on their wrist

“Just come with us, Y/N!” Wooyoung whined, “It’ll be a lot of fun!”

“Will you shut up if I say yes?” you looked over at the boy

You rolled your eyes playfully when Wooyoung promised to leave you alone if you came out with the members of Ateez to karaoke. You hadn’t met all the boys yet so you were a bit apprehensive at first but after Wooyoung’s relentless pestering, you finally broke down and agreed. 

You and Wooyoung walked into the karaoke room, the loud sounds of singing and yelling coming from the room. Everyone, well almost everyone, were on their feet singing along with the song being played through the speakers. Wooyoung quickly joined in on the fun but you decided to sit with one of the boys- one you didn’t know. You introduced yourself, leaning in close to hear him tell you his name- Jongho. You talked for a bit before the boys were pulling Jongho up and shoving a microphone in his hands.You peeked at the initials on Jongho’s wrist. Your eyes went wide when you saw your initials on his skin. Was it just a coincidence or...

[taestefully-in-luv]

The Island | KTH (Four)

Summary: You’re just two strangers waking up in a room on a lonely island where a company in the business of love has placed you. They believe that thanks to their in depth research you two are destined soulmates. What happens when your ‘soulmate’ and you want nothing to do with each other but falling in love is the only way to leave?

Pairing: Taehyung x Female reader

Genre: strangers to lovers, very slight enemies to lovers, soulmates au, roommate au, slow burn, fluff, smut, angst, slight crack, and drama.

Word Count: 11k

Warnings: swearing, sexual tension (?) implied sex

Notes: this is not a reflection of Taehyung’s art! Just saying lol But anyway, hope you guys like this chapter. Tae and oc sure have a lot of moments huh. let me know if you want to be added to the taglist, or send an ask if just want to chat about the stories!:)

Taglist: @ggukkieland @707sblog @peacedreamer14 @dopedreamfireparty @everythingnamjoon @taebae19 @typicalgenzworld @mooniyooni @getmemyfries @helenazbmrskai @justinetingball @jpeachytaev

© taestefully-in-luv

Previous --- Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Month 4

“What the fuck is that?” You point accusingly towards the paper Taehyung is excitedly holding up.

“What do you mean,” he grins. “It’s you!”

“…throw it away.”

“What?! No! I worked hard on this!”

“I look like a god damn frog.”

“In the painting or in real life becau—"

“THE PAINTING!” You leap towards Taehyung and reach for his atrocious artwork. Can he even call this disaster art? No offense, no actually, full offense but its ugly as hell. Taehyung lifts it high above his head.

“Listen, listen…don’t you think this hurts my feelings a little y/n? I worked hard on th—”

“I swear to God Taehyung…if you don’t burn this—"

“OKAY OKAY! No need to put out threats!” he pouts almost theatrically. You eye him up and down, waiting for him to make a move towards a trashcan but he just stands here.

“Well? Go throw it away.”

“No.”

“No?”

“Yeah, no.”

You close your eyes, pinching the bridge of your nose, “What do you mean no?”

Taehyung narrows his eyes at you and laughs under his breath as he steps closer to you.

“First of all, you don’t tell me what to do. I prefer if it’s the other way around.” He smirks, “And second, I am still going to keep it. For the memories.”

You chew on your lips for a few moments, letting his words sink in. But for the memories?

“For the memories? Why would you want to remember any of this?”

Taehyung frowns at your words, he looks genuinely offended.

“I might not like our situation but…”

“But what?”

“Fuck, don’t make me say it.” He says while turning red. “You know, I still want to make good memories with like, you.” He admits softly.

You finally give in, gently reaching for the awful artwork. Don’t get it wrong, Taehyung’s art is usually so beautiful. He does landscapes and abstract pieces and they absolutely blow you away. But his portraits of people? Disgusting.

“Fine…” You smile down at the painting in your hands then look back at him, “But if I see this hung up anywhere I am burning it myself.” You smirk. “And I will take great pleasure in that.”

“Oooooh please tell me more about your pleasures.” Taehyung wiggles his brows at you.

“You’re the worst.” you smile, “Anyway, do we have a deal?” you stick out your hand for him to shake.

“Deal!” Taehyung cheeses, slapping your hand down and going in for a quick hug instead. You’re surprised to say the least, you kind of guessed Taehyung was the affectionate type but you didn’t expect to be on the receiving end of it. “I’ll be in my art room most the day. Movie night though?”

“Yes, movie night.” you oblige.

“Yay.” He chirps happily, skipping off to his art room down the hall. You can’t help but smile as he disappears from your sight.

But then your heart pinches in your chest. You want to feel happy. Are you just ungrateful? You should be happy. Taehyung is finally being himself around you and you finally feel like you aren’t as alone. But it’s all a façade technically…he’s got no one else, just like you have no one else. In the real world…if you two met would you become friends like this? Or is this all forced? Is your entire friendship fake? You feel your heart sink to the bottom of your stomach, you hate these thoughts.

He’s so different than you thought he would be…he’s lighthearted, he’s funny, he’s silly, he’s talented, he’s human. And don’t even get started on flirty Taehyung…You really thought he was some closed off asshole but as time goes on and he becomes more and more comfortable you see the real him, and you really enjoy it. And you hate that you enjoy it. What are you like? Are you still a brat? Does he still think that? You chuckle to yourself, he probably does. Has he grown so comfortable with you that he’s not as angry about being stuck here with you? No, you imagine he’s still really upset about this whole thing. He just doesn’t voice it to you as much anymore. Maybe he’s avoiding the subject. You can understand why. It’s awkward. This place wants to get you two together but neither of you are interested in the other romantically. You just don’t see it happening.

~~~~~

Taehyung is just relaxing in his room on the verge of a glorious nap, he is finally dozing off, eyes slowly closing when his head snaps up in reaction to a loud crash coming from downstairs. Now what the hell could that be? Panicked, he rushes to his feet. He flies down the stairs in record time trying to find the source of the loud bang. He stands in the living room, glancing around the area for any sign of you. Are you okay? Where are you? Shit. Frustrated, he runs his fingers through his hair and as calmly as possible calls out for you. But nothing. Fuck. Your name slips past his lips in growing panic.

He decides he is going to charge each room in search for you, when he reaches the door to his art studio. He can hear muffled words on the other side of the door.

“Shit. Damn. Fuck.”

He instantly roll his eyes to the back of his head, literally so far back all that’s seen is the white of his eyes.

“Such foul language for such a pretty mouth.” He whispers to himself, slowly creeping the door open, exposing a distracted and distraught you.

“Motherfucker!” you huff, your hands on your hips, eyeing the mess you made. God damn did you make a fucking mess. On the floor is a canvas, brushes scattered and a rainbow of colors splattered all around.

“What. Are. You. Doing.”

Your head whips in his direction, your face turning many shades of reds. He stands at the doorway making his presence known, looking at you expectantly, judgement in his eyes. At least he hopes you can see the judgement in his eyes. Because he is definitely judging like hella hard.

You continue to stand here, your blush deepening. He is too frustrated to find it anything but annoying. You begin to stutter out words he can’t make out. You are trying your best, that much is obvious. You’re trying to explain yourself but he can tell you’re only becoming more and more flustered at the situation. He is sure his annoyed expression doesn’t help your ability to speak. Whoops.

“I-I was…well, you said, well remember you said…” You try. You really try. He almost wants to laugh, but not quite.

“I-I said? I said what?” He keeps his stoic demeanor intact, just stressing you further. He’s almost having fun with this. Almost.

“Well, Taehyung…listen,” you try again. “You said,”

“I said?”

Your eyes scan the room as if there’s something here that will help you.

“Words y/n. I need you to use your words.” He demands, maybe having a little fun stressing you out. He sees your blush become such a deep shade of red that even he feels embarrassed.

Finally, you releases a long breath and words begin spilling out of your mouth.

“You said you wanted to keep that frog picture—“

“Your portrait, you mean.”

“Yes, yes whatever. Anyway, you wanted to keep it for the memories, right? You…you…you’re sentimental like that or whatever.” You pause to take a breath. “And and…”

He raises a brow at you, taking a few steps forward, mindful of the mess you made.

“And?”

You raise your head to look into his eyes. You’re staring so intensely that he wonders where you got this wave of confidence from. He stares back just as seriously. Your eyes are the same as usual, dark, plain, boring. For the most part.

“And…I decided that maybe, that maybe I want to…paint you…too?” you step forward. “You know, for the memories.” You tear your eyes away from him. But he sort of wishes you didn’t.

His brows pinch together at your little idea. You want to paint him ? He studies your face seeing if maybe there’s anything else. You look tense under his gaze, he admits that makes him feel kind of good. Is that mean? You look so incredibly shy, and it is so fucking...something, he doesn’t know what but it’s something. He continues to observe you and your shy expressions.

He looks down at you and breaks into his best shit eating grin, his hand reaches down to ruffle your hair.

“Yes!” he lightly chuckles, “Let’s make lots of memories!”

It looks like you’re in a daze, his reaction catching you off guard, he guesses. Taking a moment to collect yourself, you look up into his eyes again.

“Yeah, lots of ‘em.” your smile slowly begins to fade, “We won’t be here forever, so we have to leave with lots of memories.” you mutter.

Taehyung feels himself go soft at your words.

“y/n…” he slides his fingers down to cup the back of your head, fingers gently massaging your scalp. “When this is all over…we can still be in contact, you know?” Your eyes travel to the floor, eyeing the mess you made. He’s still getting over that.

“I know…but Taehyung, I still feel like I don’t even know basic things about you! Like what even is your favorite, uh, I don’t know, animal? I can’t tell you how long I have been wondering that and—”

“Then let’s have a whole night dedicated to that. Let’s drink some wine, paint some pictures and learn everything there is to know!” he moves his hand forward, his fingers playing at the ends of your hair, “Like, what shampoo did they give you because your hair is soft as fuck.”

You give him an unimpressed look,

“I know you steal my shampoo sometimes, I’m not dumb.”

“Don’t know what you are talking about.” He cheeses.

“But okay,” you grin at him, “Let’s do that.”

“I love Koalas and sloths!” You’re laid out on your stomach, swinging your legs above you while sipping on your red wine.

“You can’t choose two!”

“I just did.”

“Fine. Mine is…drum roll…its…” he pats the floor repeatedly.

“Oh come on! Tell me! I’ve been dying to know!”

“Its…lion!” he lays next to you, resting on his side. He eyes the painting you are working on. It’s supposed to be him…supposed to be.

“I like lions too.” You add more color to the background of the canvas. He can hear the smile in your voice.

“Sheesh…and you think I am bad at drawing people…”

“Stop being a hater!”

“ME?” he stares at you incredulously.

You and Taehyung are a few glasses of wine in already. He can tell its hitting you harder than its hitting him, you’re extra talkative and all giggly. He’s painted a picture of the beach while you’ve worked on a portrait of him, it’s amusing to say the least—the portrait. Pretty quickly glasses turned into bottles. Bottle number 3 has been opened and now he is also talkative and all giggly. He’s a giggly lil thang when he’s drunk, and he is drunk.

“Okay,” he sits up, sitting on his legs. “First impression of me, go!” he laughs, for literally no reason.

“I thought you kidnapped me.” You state plainly, “So like, a creepy person.”

His jaw drops.

“I’m offended!” He lays his hand over his heart. “You thought I was creepy?! And there I was thinking you were just some hot chick I hooked up!” Yes, he called you hot to your face. He is drunk, he is allowed to do that. Yeehaw.

“Okay to be fair, that thought crossed my mind too.”

“That I was some hot chick you hooked up with?”

“I never said hot.”

“But you were thinking it, right right?” he wiggles his eyebrows in the most exaggerated way.

You smirk before chugging back the rest of your wine, reaching for a new bottle.

“Okay, maybe I thought it.” You admit, your sly smile growing.

“Want me to open it?” he gestures towards the wine bottle.

“Please.”

He reaches for the bottle of wine, his hands brushing against yours. He hates that he feels a quiet fire in his insides when he touches you. He hates how when his skin makes contact with your skin there is an automatic heat that lights up and warms him, burns him almost.

“Do you have someone? That you like?” You slur out, curious about Taehyung’s love life.

“…Yes.” Taehyung admits softly.

“I am what they call a ‘Dilf’” Jin states confidently. The rest of the boys share a look of confusion.

“You literally aren’t a dad?” Jimin looks at Jin with a puzzled smile.

“But you can’t tell me I am not a ‘dilf’ though.”

“Okay Jin, you’re a dilf.” Namjoon rolls his eyes, going back to his book.

“I wanna be a dilf too.” Jungkook whines and Taehyung nods his head in agreement. Jin shakes his fingers at the boys and speaks up.

“You have to earn the title.”

“Yeah, by being a dad.” Jimin deadpans.

“Let the man have his dreams.” Yoongi says before putting his ear bud back in his ear and nodding along to whatever song is playing.

“My dream is to finish this assignment.” Hobi groans into his pile of papers on the table.

“This is your fault for going back to school for your masters!” Taehyung teases. He has just recently dropped out of school and he is loving it. He watches as his friend works night after night on paper after paper and Taehyung no longer has to worry about things like that. He can just focus on the music.

“Are you guys using this chair?” Taehyung hears a sweet voice cut off all their chatter. He looks up to see this gorgeous girl with light brown hair that reaches her waist and eyes as bright as the sun.

“Uh, no.” Taehyung clears his throat, “You can take it.”

“Thanks.” She smiles at Taehyung and then at the rest of the boys before she’s dragging the chair to the table next to them.

“Holy shit.” Taehyung whispers to Jungkook, “She’s so pretty.”

“That’s Hana.” Jungkook looks over his shoulder at Hana and her friends. “I have a class with her.”

“Bro, introduce me!” Taehyung begs. “You literally owe me.”

“From what?!”

“I let you fuck that one chick like 2 years ago even though I saw her first.”

“Oh? You let me? Really?” Jungkook rolls his eyes. “But anyway, sure. I’ll introduce you.” He says nonchalantly, picking up his drinking and taking a sip.

“Taehyung?” you wave your hand in front of his blank face. “Taehyung?” “Huh? Yeah?” he starts snapping out of his memories, “what’s up? What did you say?”

“I asked her name.” you smile awkwardly, “The girl you like.”

“Hana.” He quietly clears his throat, “What about you? Do you have someone?”

“After my ex? I am staying away from men for a while.” You laugh, “Like, can you blame me?”

Taehyung can’t help by frown at your words.

“Don’t close yourself off…” Taehyung whispers to you. “You’re too pretty for that.” He slurs out and you blink at him repeatedly.

“I’m pretty?”

Taehyung scoffs and rolls his eyes playfully.

“Like you didn’t know.”

Hours pass you two by, more wine has been drank and you two are giggling like school children. Taehyung is folded over, laughing a storm as you do your best impression of a dolphin. You can’t help but fall over and laugh your head off as well, the alcohol obviously has made you two crazy.

Taehyung finally calms down and looks at you with soft eyes, “So, what’s your biggest fear?” he asks, leaning forward.

“No!” you laugh. Fucking laugh. “Listen, we can go back to our serious convos another day…right now I wanna…” you slur your last words, “wanna talk about fun stuff.” you give him the most sleazy wink he’s ever seen. It kind of works for him though.

“Okay.” He agrees easily, “Tell me the story about how you lost your virginity? Don’t leave anything out”

Your eyebrows shoot up, “Wanna know the dirty details huh?” you part your lips and smile.

“Dirty? I bet it was as vanilla as vanilla gets.”

You frown at his words, “I’m not vanilla. I’m fun, I swear.” you pout.

“I didn’t mean it as boring babe. I just mean you probably lost it to like your high school sweetheart, your first love, blah blah blah. The romantic shit.” You exhale a short breath…babe? You like the new friendly nickname, you admit.

“Actually it’s the opposite.”

“The opposite?”

“First year of college. Random guy from a bar. Total one night stand type of situation. I didn’t even tell him it was my first time. I think he probably just thought I was really inexperienced. “ You laugh to yourself. Sounds like a situation you might regret but there is no bitterness in your tone.

“Oh wow. y/n the cry baby can do one night stands?” he teases.

“I’m full of surprises you know.” The glint in your eye tells him he’s going to find out eventually.

“Well then what are the dirty details?” he pries further, leaning into your space again.

“Hmm, don’t think I am drunk enough for that.”

“Oh, I can grab another bottle of wine.” He teases, “But fine.”

“About your comment about me being vanilla…” you begin but Taehyung is cutting you off with the shake of his head.

“I didn’t mean it bad—”

“Are you into vanilla sex?”

Taehyung’s eyebrows crawl to the top of his forehead and his mouth falls open.

“Why are you asking that?” he breathes out, his eyes darkening.

“They paired us together, you know? We probably have more in common than you think…my guess that means sex too.”

“I know we have that in common.” He smirks, “I’m guessing you never looked in the other room?” he quirks a brow at you. “You might find it interesting.”

“The other room?” you tilt your head to the side, “Oh? The one upstairs next to your bathroom? Yeah, I stuck my head in there once…I saw it’s just another bedroom.”

“Is it really just another bedroom though? You didn’t have a look around?” his sly smile grows on his stupidly handsome face. “Like I said…you might find it interesting.”

“What are you talking about?” you slur, “Why would I…?”

Taehyung rises to his feet, walks towards you and leans down until he’s softly gripping your arm and pulling you up.

“Let’s go explore.” He chuckles, “I want you to see the room.” He’s guiding you out the art room, you two stumbling through the door.

You both begin to make your way upstairs, his hand never leaving your arm as you two walk. You keep bumping into him and he only laughs, squeezing your arm every few moments. You guys walk through the hall until you’re standing outside the bedrooms door.

“Go on.” He looks at you with a smirk, “I want you to explore this bedroom.”

“You’re being weird.” You giggle, opening the door.

And just like you thought, it’s just a bedroom. There’s a large bed in the middle of the room against the wall, and a couple of dressers, a closet, a huge ass mirror and other normal bedroom things.

“And?” You glance at Taehyung.

He looks at you with an amused smile. “Explore.” He commands.

You give him a weird look before walking through the room, your hand slides against the dresser that holds the extra large mirror. You catch your reflection and smile at how drunk you look. Taehyung walks behind you and eyes both of your reflections, he steps close to you and chuckles.

“I like this mirror.” He whispers. “Great view of the bed.”

“Uh yeah?” you look at him through the mirror, “I guess so.”

“Explore the drawers.” His evil grin makes you nervous…you look down at the drawers and open the first one on the left, there’s multiple things inside but you can’t tell what they are. You stick your hand inside and grab the first thing it can find. You pull this object out and bring it closer to your face, your drunken vision making it hard to identify what it is. Then your eyes are expanding and you drop the object in the drawer, the loud thud making you jump.

“What was that?” Taehyung whispers, “Something you know right?”

A dildo. Your eyes scan the rest of the drawer only to see more, along with other toys. You quickly slam the drawer shut and turn around to face Taehyung, who is standing so close behind you.

“What the hell?” you stutter out, turning red.

“That’s not all. Check the closet.” He says quietly, pointing towards the closet. And you listen, you walk forward until you’re standing beside the sliding door. You open it and see various articles of clothing.

Lingerie and outfits. Maid, nurse, etc. You stare at the clothes in disbelief.

“What is all this?” you turn to face Taehyung.

“You tell me.” He says chuckling, “Seems like we like the same stuff.” He shrugs. “Maybe you can,” he walks closer and is touching the maid lingerie, “wear this next you’re cleaning the house.”

He’s teasing you. Your stomach twists and turns, your heart is jumping out of your chest and you feel so fucking warm.

“S-Shut up.” You lean back on the door.

“Oh baby, I think you and I both know who tells who what to do here.” He breathes out, not looking at you as he still plays with the material of more lingerie.

“Taehyung,” you sigh, “The cameras can’t hear you in here.”

“Ah,” he turns to face you, “Right. Should we head back downstairs?”

“Yes.” You slur out, feeling quite dizzy.

Month 5

It’s the bright white screen you know all too well…it has you releasing a shaky breath as you wait for the black letters to eventually appear.

“Hey Taehyung…” you call out for you roommate who is making something to eat in the kitchen. “I think we have an incoming message from our,” You pause, huffing out. “Our little friends.”

“Oh. Oh shit.” You hear Taehyung whine from behind you. “I thought they were finally starting to back off…” he sighs out. “Let’s see what these fuckers want.”

Request:

Skinny dip for 1 hour. Must be within a foot of one another.

Ex-excuse you? Ex-fucking-cuse you? Skinny who what for when what? Your eyes bulge out of your head. This has got to be some sort of joke.

“Hell no!” you yell out, not even sparing Taehyung a glance.

Voice full of panic, Taehyung is quick to bring up the alternative.

“The penalty!” he rushes. “What’s the penalty? We will just do the penalty!”

Penalty:

No power or running water for 3 days.

“No pow—what the fuck?” Taehyung shakes his head, disbelief written all over his face.

“Wait! And no running water? Like, we can’t flush the toilet for 3 days? That’s bullshit!” you drag your hands down your face, “And wont the stuff in our fridge go bad?”

Several long moments pass between you two and not in a cool way. There’s nothing cool about this shit. There’s tension filling the air around you both. Awkward tension.

“Isn’t this too much?” Taehyung finally says, obviously not able to tolerate the silence any longer.

You both exchange worried glances with one another before Taehyung says some shit you don’t like.

“Let’s just do the request.”

Your eyes basically pop out of your head.

“Are you out of your mind—do the requests? How could you say that so easily!” you mumble, feeling your cheeks heat up.

“I feel like it’s the best choice.” He gives his honest answer. “Plus, you’ve never seen a naked man before? We will get over it y/n. Knowing me and you, we will be laughing about it in a couple days.” He finally turns to face you, throwing a wink your way, “You know it’s true.”

You mull over your options and hate that he’s right. You very timidly respond with a quiet ‘okay’ and avoid his eyes. His dark, intimidating eyes.

Your heart is racing, No, that is an understatement; your heart is on the verge of explosion. Your nerves are scattered and pounding from the inside out. You are freaking out. Naked with Taehyung? And he seems cool as a fucking cucumber.

“Let’s meet outside once it’s completely dark out.” You suggest.

“Read my mind.”

“…Of course I did, we’re” you roll your eyes. “Soulmates.” you laugh bitterly to yourself, “anyway, I’ll just see you tonight.”

“So you’re just going to avoid me until tonight?” Taehyung asks, “It’s not like they’re asking us to fuck.” He sways on his feet, “Just keep your eyes on my eyes and we will be fine.”

“Right.” You choke out, “Because it’s that easy.”

“Are you saying it’s impossible not to check me out?” he teases and you feel your cheeks heat up.

“Shut up.”

“Brat.”

Night fall approaches sooner rather than later. You wish it would have taken a million years to appear but nope, here you are. You stand outside with Taehyung in front of you. You’re in an oversized t shirt and loose shorts, keeping it simple since they’re coming off anyway. Taehyung wears his usual sweats and a white tee. You two are standing next to the pool, knowing the time has finally come. After leaving Taehyung earlier this afternoon, you took a much needed nap to clear your head.

“Don’t let your eyes linger.” You mumble, nodding your head in his direction.

“Ha, I was going to say the same thing to you.” He pokes his tongue out. Taehyung looks fucking comfortable as fucking always. Like, this doesn’t bother him in the least.

Luckily, the tension is tolerable. So you decide to make the first move. You begin unbuttoning your shorts—

“Woah! Woah! Woah! Wait!” he yells. His arms flailing, trying to stop you.

You scrunch your nose in annoyance, “What?” you ask, not too pleased since you are just trying to get this over with. If you got told 5 months ago that you would be in a hurry to get naked in front of this guy you would ugly laugh. Yet here you are.

“It’s just-it’s just…we should go at the same time.” Taehyung rushes to say.

“Oh, okay. Pants first, let’s go—”

“No! that’s awkward.” He shakes his head, “shirt first.”

“Okay, okay.” You oblige, “weirdo” You whisper loud enough that he can hear you.

The two of you begin with your tops, you try to focus your eyes elsewhere but they naturally skim the skin of his chest and abdomen as his shirt comes off quickly. Taehyung doesn’t even try to look away as you undress, his dark, intimidating stare causing you to feel chills. You slip off your pink t shirt, exposing your bare torso that is laced with a pretty black bralette. His gaze doesn’t waver.

“Okay, next is our bottoms right?” You gulp. He only nods.

You continue the job on unbuttoning your shorts, letting them fall to your feet exposing your matching black panties. Yes, you wore a sexy matching set on purpose. If he’s going to see you like this why wouldn’t you want to look good? You would do that for anybody. You can feel him eyeing you as he slips off his sweats, leaving him in nothing but a pair of blue briefs.

Finally, you are left in nothing but your underwear. You eye him over, his body is so fucking nice it makes you feel bad for even standing next to him. His briefs are a light blue, leaving little to the imagination. You can literally see the outline of his—you know what. Is he sporting a semi, right now? You do an up and down of your own body when you realize you have more clothes than him!

“Hey this is unfair!” You whisper, covering your chest with your arm. “I have to strip my bra off and you what, just get to watch?”

“Oh? So I am allowed to watch?” he responds playfully. It’s that same teasing tone you’re still trying to get used to.

“Well, you’re obviously going to see…” You grumble, lowering your arm. “Welp, here goes.”

Taehyung swallows rather hard, his eyes trailing your body pretty shamelessly. You reach in front of you, unhooking the bralette and letting the straps fall off your shoulders before letting the whole thing fall to the ground.

“Uh, okay.” Taehyung clears his throat. “Now our underwear.”

“Right.” You say while reaching for the band of your panties, pulling it back a bit and letting it go, the material slapping against your hips. You swear you see his dick move at that.

“Okay.” Taehyung’s breathing is heavier than before, “On 3? 1…2..”

“3!” you shout in unison.

You both begin stripping away your last piece of clothing. You’re the first to be fully undressed. You let your panties drag down leg by leg until they join the pile of clothes at your feet. It’s not that you’re trying to do this in a sexy manner, but if it comes across sexy—then so be it. Taehyung pauses mid action, his eyes scanning your body again. God, you are starting to get really nervous again. His gaze absolutely thrills you, you can admit that. You’d live a life of torture to have him stare at you like this all the time. You see him lick his lips then shake his head. You didn’t just imagine that right?

“Hurry up.” You plead.

Taehyung finally drags off his briefs. By the looks of it he looks mostly hard, as his cock springs free. Holy Fuck. Your last ex—Ben—was not this…blessed. Taehyung has every right to be as cocky as he wants, he’s earned it. His dick is long in length but he also seems to have girth. How is one man blessed this much? You would have to have your hand wrapped around it—or your lips—to really know how thick he is. Jesus fucking Christ, what are you saying? You think your best excuse is that you are dick deprived. Also…how long have you been staring? You will say long enough by the look Taehyung is giving you. It’s that shit eating grin that just screams he is one cocky bastard.

“Okay,” you clear your throat, forcing yourself to look into Taehyung’s eyes. “Let’s get in the pool.”

“You got the timer?” Taehyung chuckles.

“It’s laying on the ledge.” you point at it, walking closer to the pool. “Ready?” you look up at him, waiting for his response.

“You look beautiful by the way.” He says out of nowhere. “I mean, as always.” He winks.

You blush pretty fucking hard at that, you can feel all the heat rush to your cheeks, lighting you on fire.

“Are you-are you ready or what?” you grumble.

“Always.” He grins, reaching for you hand. “Let’s go.”

You two tip toe into the water, pausing every few seconds to get use to the temperature of the water. You stop once the water reaches your collarbones, you walk towards the wall, lean against it and face forward. You turn the timer on and you both exchange a few words but you remain mostly quiet, You don’t think either of you know what to say. Every minute that passes (about 15 to be exact) has your nerves spiking.

You hear Taehyung sigh deeply as he inches closer towards you. Now why would he do that? He inches so close that your shoulders are touching, he sinks a little further into the water and then surprising you, he rests his head on your shoulder. What the fuck is he doing?

“We can have a foot of space between us.” You remind him awkwardly.

Taehyung remains quiet, you only hear his soft breaths.

“Taehyung?”

“You know how hard it is going to be to get the image of you naked out of my head?” He whispers with a chuckle.

“Don’t start using me as masturbation material.” You joke, your eyes looking out at the water. It’s calm and bright from the lights inside the pool.

“Start? You think you haven’t entered my mind before?” he jokes back. At least you think he’s joking.

“Stop playing.” You laugh awkwardly.

Taehyung is quiet again and you can feel the tension that always visits you two starting to build.

“Do you…have you…have you thought about me before?” you manage to slip out, surprising yourself.

“You’re asking if I’ve—”

“If you’ve thought about me when you have ‘alone’ time’ ya know?”

“Do you think I haven’t?” he lifts his head and stares at you. “y/n…I’m a guy. And you’re kind of the only person I see.”

Oh. It’s not like I see anyone else. His last words repeat in your mind. Of course, that makes sense. He’s stuck with you, of course you’ve entered his mind, probably against his will or whatever.

“I see.” You say softly. You step to the side, getting further from him and he frowns.

You two stand here, barely speaking. Maybe another 20-30 minutes pass when Taehyung dramatically huffs out.

“Listen y/n…about earlier.” Right earlier. When you made a fucking fool of yourself. Asking your friend is he has ever jacked off to you before! Before he can continue you slap a finger over his pouting lips, shushing him.

“Do you really think now is the time?”

“We have time to kill—”

“—okay! So let’s talk about something else!” you happily offer.

But you guess Taehyung isn’t having it, he steps closer and rests his head on your shoulder again, his breathing picking up. Why is he breathing so hard?

“Just hear me out, okay?”

You only stare ahead, exhaling deeply. What to do…maybe there’s no harm in hearing him out, right? Oh wait there is harm! The feeling of fucking rejection. Why does it feel like rejection? You don’t know. Why the fuck you care? You don’t know that either. But he’s fucking sulking, like a baby. You thought you were the baby here? You guess he needs to have a turn every now and then…

“fine.”

“You probably,” he sinks in the water just a little deeper, “hate me, right?” you don’t hate him…”Me, your friend, has had dirty thoughts about you, yada yada,” he closes his eyes.

“ wait what—” This is because he has had dirty thoughts about you?

“So about what I said…I’m sorry…”

“Taehyung it’s fine,” you rush to say in embarrassment, “I don’t know why I asked! Seriously, it was stupid. I crossed a li—”

“Wait why did you ask?” That’s when you freeze. Yeah why did you ask?

“Uh…”

“Why?” he stands up straighter, his head tilted towards you.

“I was just curious Taehyung.” you defend. “It’s not that deep.”

“Curious? About me?” he raises he brow, he pauses while thinking over his words. “Like, sexually?” he finishes, caution in his voice.

Fuck. What did you get yourself into?

“Taehyung…I already said it was stupid. Plus,” you decide to be bold again, “Hearing it was only because I’m the only one here or whatever didn’t do great things for my ego.”

“Wait—” you hear him stifle a chuckle. “That’s what you’re mad about?”

“Well…” you drag out the word with a pout. You don’t mean to be such a baby yet here you are.

“Wow! I thought you were mad because I’ve thought about you impurely, not because it wasn’t a good enough reason why…wow.” He laughs! He’s basically laughing at you!

“Well?”

“Oh my God, y/n. You’re joking right? I can’t just say I have the hots for my friend now can I? That’ll just—”

“Do you?” your voice is much smaller and quieter than you anticipated, like it barely escaped. Taehyung stays quiet for a second too long that it makes you ten times as nervous.

“Are you…” Taehyung looks at you with a look on his face you can’t quite place, “I’m naked in a pool with you right now and I am going crazy. Absolutely crazy.” Taehyung sighs out heavily, a frown taking over his face. “You’re ability to be so naïve just…baffles me.” He admits, defeated.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re a beautiful girl y/n. Of course my mind has wandered. It doesn’t mean I—fuck. It doesn’t mean anything deep or anything like that. But yes, being with you and your fanfuckingtastic tits is giving me some trouble.” He says darkly. “And don’t think I haven’t noticed you checking me out either.” He smirks. “We are human.” He finishes.

A long, deafening silence accompanies you both. Its sitting in the water between your bodies. Just lingering, waiting for one of you to break it in half and drown it in this very pool. But no, it remains. And that person won’t be you. But several minutes have passed by and he is still fucking quiet. Maybe you should be the one to say something? You’re about to you swear , but you hear Taehyung grumble something under his breath.

“What’s that?” you say.

“I said, it’s only fair if I ask too.” Ask what? Oh. Wait. That?

“Ask what?” you ask, pretending you don’t know.

“You know what.”

“Nope.” you say, popping the ‘p’.

“y/n.” “I’m not answering that.”

“Come on.” He leans his face towards your neck, his breaths hitting your wet skin. “It’s only fair.”

“Okay.”

“Okay what?” he pushes on. “Come on y/n, have you thought about me when you get yourself off or not?” he asks, his voice really low. How does he get his voice so deep? Fuck, it sends a shiver down your spine.

“Maybe once or twice I have thought about you too.” You admit, feeling a rush of adrenaline as the words leave your mouth.

“Once or twice?” he repeats lowly, “What did you think about?” his words crawl on the side of your neck as they leave his mouth.

“I’m not answering that.”

“I want you to tell me.” He sounds so breathless while being so demanding.

“Nope.”

“You’re no fun.” He chuckles. “Aren’t you curious about what I think about?”

“Not really.” You lie. “Don’t worry about my imagination. It’s the only action I’m getting anyway.” You laugh.

“When’s the last time you had sex y/n? Please tell me it wasn’t with your ex…”

“Yeah it was.” You admit and Taehyung pushes his head back, not liking you admission.

“Why haven’t you?” he asks.

“I felt so betrayed Taehyung…it’s sort of hard to trust anyone after that.” You sigh, “He hurt me bad. I’m…”

“You’re what?”

“I just don’t feel comfortable.” You say softly, “I don’t think I will for a while.”

“I see…I’m so sorry. I wish that didn’t happen to you.”

“It’s in the past now.”

Ben holds you close as he comes, his hands leaving behind their marks on your body from how tightly he holds you.

“Fuck yes.” He groans, “Did you come?” he asks quickly, breathing hard into your neck.

“It’s okay.” You sigh out, “As long as you feel good.”

“I felt amazing honey.” He kisses the side of your neck over and over. “Shit, we gotta get going. We’ll be late for work.”

“Do we really have to take separate cars?” you whine.

“Just for now babe.” He promises, lifting himself off your body, leaving your pussy aching for more.

“Okay…”

~

“He look so handsome today as usual…” you hear Layla talking to some of the other girls. “I’m telling you…he’s going to ask me out. He’s been eyeing me lately and complimenting me.” She gushes, catching your interest.

“Who?” you ask, setting your belongings down on your desk.

Layla turns to face you, waves her hand and smiles.

“Ben.”

Ben? Like your Ben? Her boss Ben?

“Ben who?” you blink at her and the other girls laugh.

“Obviously the only Ben we know!” Layla giggles and you feel your chest tighten.

“You think he’s going to ask you out?”

“Yes girl! He comes to my desk a few times day, calls me gorgeous, so on and so forth.” Layla says quietly so only you girls can hear. You feel your heart drop.

“I don’t think so.” You speak up. “Ben wouldn’t. He’s already seeing someone.”

“Oh really? Who?” Layla scrunches her brows together, “Because—”

“Me.” You blurt. “He and I are…”

The other girls stop their giggling and look at you with shocked eyes.

“There’s no way.” One of them says.

“y/n, are you serious?” Layla blushes, feeling a little embarrassed now.

“Yes, for months now.” you admit. “But we weren’t telling anyone…yet.”

“Wow! I can’t believe this!” another girl says, her hand coming to her mouth.

You then in a hush hush voice tell the group of girls yours and Bens story. You tell them how he pursued you, you finally agreed and how you two have been dating for over 6 months. They gush and gasp and giggle. It feels good to finally tell people, you think.

But unfortunately for you, it wasn’t good at all.

“y/n?” Taehyung knocks you out of your daze. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Fine.” You sigh, feeling weak. “I’m okay.”

Taehyung looks at you with pity, his eyes full of it. He stands tall and floats until he’s standing in front of you.

“I’m going to hug you.” He states calmly, “I really need to hug you.”

“Taehyung…” you step back until your back hits the ledge. “Now isn’t really appropriate.”

“I don’t care. I’ve already seen you naked.” He says nonchalantly. “C’mere.” He opens his arms wide for you and you shake your head.

“I said, c’mere.” He inches closer and closer. “Or I’m coming to you.”

“Taehyung.” You whine, but you let him get closer to you.

His wet arms reach out for you, he’s gripping your shoulders first before his hands easily slide down your arms until they’re under water holding on to your waist.

“C’mere.” He repeats. And you slowly inch closer towards him, your arms hesitantly circling around his middle. And then he’s pulling you in to his chest…he sighs when he feels your budding nipples graze his skin, he sighs when he feels the fullness of your breasts being pushed into him, he sighs when he feels you.

You release a long breath as you hug him, maybe you needed this. This type of human contact. You pull back and look up into Taehyung’s dark eyes, he’s already gazing at you.

“Thanks.” You mumble.

“I think of you because you’re cool. And really pretty.”

“Huh?” Why is Taehyung suddenly complimenting you?

“When I’m—you know. I think of you because you’re cool and really pretty. I could think of anyone ya know? That’s how an imagination works. But I still think about you.”

You’re sure your face is a dark crimson, with how hard you are blushing. How are you supposed to take this new information?

“W-Well,” You find it hard to look into his eyes. “I guess, same.”

“Because I’m pretty?” his tone is lighter all the sudden, you roll your eyes.

“What do you think? Timer should be going on any minute now.” Taehyung throws a glance over his shoulder towards the timer.

“Hmm…” You turn, reaching for the timer, your wet hands getting ahold of it. “Less than 5 minutes.” You read it.

“Oh.” He sings, “If you have a secret, share it now!” Taehyung chuckles into the water, his lips creating bubbles on the surface.

“You want to know even more about me?” You stand a little taller, the water reaching the tops of your breasts. You see Taehyung’s eyes linger for a second before meeting your eyes again. “If you wanna know anything, just ask.” You reach your arms over your head, releasing a yawn.

“Okay…” He places his fingers on his chin, “It’s about me though.” He stops, his fingers dragging down his neck. “Ah, never mind.”

“What?”

“No, it’s weird.”

“Aren’t we passed weird?” you giggle.

“No, it’s really weird.” He sighs out, sinking down into the water until his head is fully under.

You watch as he rises back up, the water cascading down his golden skin, the water from his hair dripping onto his shoulders.

A few moments pass, Taehyung stands here thinking to himself while you just shamelessly watch. You watch as he chews on the inside of his cheek, his eyes upward, scanning the stars. He hums some tune to himself, deep in thought. Honestly, you love when he does this. He looks so…good. Not in a sexual way, you swear. He just looks so him. So Taehyung. He goes from chewing on his cheek to his bottom lip, his teeth digging into the plump flesh. You gulp, God he has no idea how good he looks like this.

“Well?” You ask impatiently. Trying to wave away any more of those thoughts you were just having.

Taehyung releases his bottom lip from his teeth as his lips form into a pout, his eyes closing.

“I’m thinking…”

“Less thinking, more asking.” You feel way too curious about whatever it is he wants to say. And the minutes are passing you by.

Taehyung opens one eye to look at you, he exhales, and faces you.

“Does it sound like I’m in love with Hana?” he says quietly.

“W-What? You’ve only really brought her up once…”

“But when I talked about her did it seem like I have deep feelings for her?”

“She thinks I only like the idea of her” Taehyung mumbles to Jimin and Namjoon. “She doesn’t think I like her as much as I say? Which is so stupid!”

“Isn’t she right though?” Jimin asks with a frown, “You only ever talk about how pretty she is…”

“Jimin means you don’t really have that much in common with her, do you?” Namjoon questions softly. “You don’t…you don’t seem as into as you have been in the past. Are you sure you actually like her?”

Taehyung stares at his friends in disbelief, not believing his ears for one second.

“What are you guys talking about? I fucking like her.” He grits out.

“Are you sure you aren’t just lonely—”

“I don’t want to hear this.” Taehyung stands up from the couch, “I’m going to go see her.”

~

Taehyung makes it to Hana’s apartment but her roommate answers the door and frowns when she sees Taehyung,

“Yes?”

“Uh, I’m here to see Hana.” He gestures inside the apartment.

“Right…” the roommate stands off to the side and lets Taehyung in. “She’s in her room.”

Taehyung walks through the apartment and down the hall until he’s knocking on Hana’s door. She opens it quickly, hugging him and pulling him inside.

“Hey you.” She smiles at Taehyung and he smiles back with his teeth.

“Hi.”

“What brings you here?”

“Just came to hang out, maybe watch a movie?” Taehyung sways from side to side, trying to not make this awkward.

“Sure, you can choose the movie.” She goes to her desk, grabs her lap top and gestures towards her bed. “We can watch in my bed.” She says shyly.

“G-Good idea.”

~

“So how did you like it?” Taehyung asks excitedly. ‘Castaway on the Moon’ just finished and he is so happy he got to show her his favorite movie.

“Honestly?” she chuckles awkwardly, “I didn’t really like it.” She admits. “it was weird.”

“It’s not weird! It’s amazing,” he pouts and she giggles.

He does feel really disappointed that she doesn’t like his favorite movie…is that a red flag? No, he’s just being dramatic, he thinks.

“Next time I’ll choose the movie.” Hana cuddles closer to Taehyung. “Okay?”

“Sure.”

“Taehyung…” you begin, “Where is this coming from?”

“She doesn’t think—my friends too—don’t think we have a lot of chemistry. That I’m forcing myself to like her, but that’s not true! But sometimes I feel confused. And I thought I could get an outside opinion.” He admits, “But this was stupid you don’t have to answer.”

You can tell him you believe in his feelings or you can tell him you don’t think he’s even talked about her enough that you take his feelings seriously. But will that hurt him?

“I—”

Beep beep beep beep beep beep.

The fire place is turned on, creating a safe and cozy atmosphere. The gas lit flames burn a hole in the tension that fills the room. What sort of tension? Not sure.

Taehyung and you are sat comfortably on the sofa, sitting with crossed legs facing one another, your knees just barely touching. A bowl of popcorn rests between you and blankets wrapped around your bodies. Separate blankets, of course.

Taehyung and you have decided to move the party inside (with clothes: on) and continue talking.

The ringing of the timer didn’t completely ruin your conversation only delaying it.

“And I don’t know,” he takes a handful of popcorn and stuffs it in his mouth. “I think we would make a cute couple.”

“Yeah but like I asked, what sorts of things do you two talk about? Not if you guys are a cute couple.”

“We talk.” He states.

“Okay…about?”

“Stuff.”

“You aren’t helping your case.” You sigh out, biting your lip. “I want to believe in your feelings Taehyung but…”

“I know.” He cuts you off, “I know.”

“So why are you forcing it?” you reach for some popcorn yourself, “Why do you want to like her so bad?”

“I don’t know….” He admits softly, “I really don’t know.”

“You’re unsure of your feelings.” You say bluntly. “That’s what it seems like.”

“Maybe I am.” He wraps the blanket around his shoulders tighter. “I’m like you…I don’t know what love is.”

“And just like me, you’ll find it someday.” You promise him with a sweet smile. “Right?”

“You will for sure.” He breathes out, “I think I’m a ….”

“A?”

“God, I don’t even want to say it.” He throws his head in his hands. “But I think I am a hopeless romantic.”

“I just want some cute love story with a cute girl. And Hana is perfect.”

“But does she thrill you? Challenge you? Make you laugh?”

“She’s…” fuck, he doesn’t even know. Does he even know Hana that well?

“Hey y/n…” Taehyung looks up at you, his eyes finding yours and you shrink in your spot.

“Yes?”

“Can we watch my favorite movie? I’m curious what you might think about it.” He gazes at you and you nod your head slowly.

“Sure Taehyung.”

“Also, you can call me Tae.”

~

“Holy fuck.” You sob into your hands. “The fucking noodles.”

Taehyung looks over at you with a soft smile as he has his own tears falling down his face.

“I know right?”

“He finally felt like he had purpose Tae,” you look at him with a pathetic scrunched up face, tears still leaving your eyes.

“EXACTLY!” Taehyung wails, “EXACTLY!”

“This movie was amazing, and how everything turned out...wow…and how she…and he…my goodness. I’m still crying.”

“I told you!! I am so glad you enjoyed it.” He moves closer to you on the sofa without thinking.

“Only lame people wouldn’t like this movie!” you basically yell out and Taehyung scoots even closer, his shoulder bumping yours. But you barely notice, still too invested in the movie.

“Yeah.” He agrees with a smile. “You really must be my soulmate.” He jokes with an awkward smile. “No one else really likes this movie.”

“Ha-Ha.” You roll your eyes, “But anyway, that’s crazy since it was so good.”

“Stop praising it or I’ll have to marry you.” He jokes again and you start turning a rosy pink.

“Stop.” You whine, swatting his shoulder.

“Let’s call it a night, yeah?”

You and Taehyung clean up the kitchen and living room and head upstairs for the night, he walks you to your bedroom door and lingers.

“Tonight was crazy. I saw you naked.” He brings up the request and you go redder than red.

“We can literally never talk about it again…”

“Am I allowed to think about it at least?” he winks, his voice low and making you feel tense.

“Goodnight Taehyung.”

~~~~~~~~

Month 6

Today is one of those days…Taehyung is in a bad mood and you’re being a brat. He hates how much you’ve been teasing him today…he is sorting through his feelings for Hana but you insist on walking around with small shorts and low cut tank tops, claiming it’s ‘hot’. He finally has you cornered though, he’s finally had enough. He’s got you pushed up against a wall, his face so close that your breaths mingle with one another.

“You’re really pushing me today…” Taehyung leans closer, his warm breath fanning over your face. “Today’s not the day y/n.” he warns.

“How am I pushing you? I’m literally not doing anything.” You jut your bottom lip out and look to the side.

“You’re being…such a fucking tease.” He decides to say, “Which is giving me a real headache.” He leans down, his arms on either side of your body.

“So I give you a headache?” Your eyes look up into his and you smirk. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

“You are real annoying, you know that?” he can’t help but chuckle, but then he’s exhaling a deep breath and rolling his eyes. “Ask for forgiveness.”

“Ask for forgiveness?” you scoff. “Seriously? And what am I asking forgiveness for?”

“You’re lucky I’m not telling you to beg.”

“Beg?” you scoff again. “Who do you think you—”

“y/n.” his dark eyes gaze into yours. His hand slides down the wall and then it’s at your waist. He pulls you in and leans his head down closer to your face, you feel the lump in your throat grow as you ty to swallow it down.

“Y-Yes?”

“Ask for forgiveness.” He tells you again, this time much more softly.

“And if I don’t?” You stare up at him and he chuckles.

“Do you really want to find out?” his gaze doesn’t waver as he looks at you…the way he stares at you makes you feel bare in front of him, like he’s stripping you of your clothes, of your skin, everything.

“And if I do?” you whisper. “What happens if I do?”

Taehyung narrows his eyes at you as he licks his lips repeatedly…you’re really testing him aren’t you? He can’t tell if you’re toying with him because of the cameras or if it’s because you’re a brat.

“y/n.” he says your name like the sound of a slow breath. It feels intimate, the way he calls out for you. You can’t help but gulp as you blink up at him.

“Y-Yes?”

“You want to beg, don’t you?” he smirks, he pokes his tongue out as he eyes you. You can see the amusement in his eyes. “You want to…” the words are dying on his tongue because what can he say? Everything he wants to say would probably be deemed as inappropriate.

“I want to what?” you tilt your head up, your eyes scanning the entirety of his face and he leans further into your space.

“Just do as I say, tell me you’re sorry and we can move on.”

“Do as you say?” you lean back until your head is lightly hitting the wall, “You think I would really listen to you?”

“Such a brat.” His hand doesn’t let go of your waist as he leans back as well. “Why do I deal with this? And yes,” he rolls his head back. “I think you would very much enjoy listening to me.” He pauses and bites his lip. “If this company really thinks we’re a match made in heaven then I am sure you can assume what I mean.”

You silently gasp, a blush painting itself brightly on your cheeks.

“Ah,” he leans in again, “So you do know what I mean.”

“Taehyung,” you mumble, “Sometimes your flirting for the camera is too much.” You whisper quiet enough the cameras can’t hear.

Taehyung leans down until his mouth is at the shell of your ear and you can hear the smirk.

“Who says it’s for the cameras?” he leans away from you again, he finally drops his hand from your waist and is about to turn to leave when your hand flies to his shirt.

“Wait.” You blurt out, “I’ll…” you look off to the side. “I’ll say sorry”

“Oh?” Taehyung looks amused to say the least, “Go ahead, then.”

“Only if you tell me what’s wrong today.”

“It’s nothing.”

Your hand goes from the middle of his shirt to his shoulder and you look up at him with big, doe eyes as he blinks down at you over and over.

“What?” he whispers.

“Please.” You whisper back, “I’ll be good,” you promise in a low voice.

Taehyung feels his chest get warm, the heat traveling from there to his toes. He looks at you with his serious expression and softens.

“You are good.” He breathes out. His gaze intense as he stares into your eyes.

“Then…” you pause. Taehyung keeps his eyes on your eyes until he’s not. His eyes slowly travel down your face until he’s staring at your lips. He notices how plump they look, how your tongue darts out to wet them. He feels himself being drawn closer to you, leaning in further and further.

“…Taehyung.” You say breathlessly and Taehyung blinks repeatedly, clearing his throat as he leans back again.

“Fine, don’t apologize. Brat.” And he’s stepping away from you and you watch his back as he walks away.

Taehyung. Is. Such. A. tease. And it drives you absolutely insane. You’re sure the company that watches you is having the times of their lives as you suffer. Why does he have to go this far? It only makes you want to challenge him and go even further yourself. There was a moment, right? Where he acted like he was going to kiss you? Of course he wouldn’t actually do that. This is just for show but god, it still drives you nuts.

Taehyung rushes to his bedroom, slamming the door shut as he rests against it. What the hell is wrong with him? He’s just frustrated. He misses Hana. But why do you have to be so infuriating and you know, hot. And it makes him angry. He wasn’t actually going to kiss you, of course. But there was a moment of strange tension that he…he can’t describe. Taehyung slides down the door, falling to the ground. He remembers his first kiss with Hana, it was sweet and nice but like, he doesn’t remember it being intense not like how it feels when he gets close to you.

“Taehyung!” Hana giggles as she pats his back as she’s thrown over his shoulder. “Put me down!”

“Never!” Taehyung laughs just as much as he runs around in circles. “Ugh, so heavy though.” He jokes.

“Hey!” Hana hits his back, “Come on, put me down.” Her giggles softly relax and he’s setting her down back on the ground, her feet finally planted on the ground as she keeps her arms loosely thrown around his neck.

“You really love carrying me.”

“Holding you is fun.” He smiles, “And you’re not actually heavy. Actually you weigh nothing.”

“Yeah, right.” She playfully rolls her eyes.

“So.” Taehyung chuckles awkwardly, looking into Hana’s eyes.

“So…” she steps closer to him, tightening her hold around her neck. “We’ve been hanging out a lot …” she flutters her lashes, “And..”

“And?”

“I kind of want you to kiss me.”

“Oh.” Taehyung’s eyes widen. He was not expecting that. He smiles at her and nods his head. “Yeah, I can do that.” He teases, leaning in until his lips are against hers. He pulls back but she pushes herself forward to kiss him more and he sighs in her mouth, loving the feel of her lips.

“We should do that more often.” Taehyung breathes out and Hana giggles.

Taehyung groans into his hands, recalling his memories. He does miss Hana but he feels like every time he thinks of her…he somehow is also thinking about you too. But it’s not like he’s thinking of you like that but yeah, you’re on his mind. And he’s got to chill out. He stands up from the floor and walks to his bed, throwing himself on it with a bounce. He’s still so frustrated. He recalls dinner yesterday, how he…

“I’m staring at you because you have sauce on your lips.” Taehyung says from across the dining room table.

“Should I get it for you?” he teases, standing up from his chair, the sound of it screeching against the floor makes you flinch.

“No, no.” you shake your head, “I can do it myself.”

“What if I want to help you though?” Taehyung tilts his head with innocent eyes. “I’ll clean you up.”

“Tae—”

Taehyung walks to your side of the table and bends down until his face is level with your face, he smiles at you and raises his thumb up to your lips. His thumb brushes across your bottom lip slowly, the heat of his finger making you sigh out. He leans in closer as he finishes wiping the sauce off your mouth. When he finishes he takes a moment to look into your eyes like he’s searching them for something. He’s not sure what though. You feel yourself being hypnotized by his gaze, you, yourself stare back at him just as deeply…you think he’s going to lean away any second but instead he brings his hand between your faces and brings his thumb to his mouth. His thumb pushes past his lips and he’s licking it clean, the action purposely agonizingly slow.

“There. Got it.” He breathes out, “All clean.”

Your eyes widen just the slightest…he’s a tease. A fucking tease.

Taehyung’s eyes light up in amusement when he watches how you flush under his hard stare and he starts laughing.

“W-What?” you spit out, your embarrassment has you stabbing your food with your fork. “What’s funny?”

“You.” He says with a grin, the air is starting to thin out as he laughs. “You make me laugh.”

“Glad I can entertain.” You roll your eyes.

You’re so…fuck, you’re so sexy. Taehyung has been wanting to admit that for a while, but god, he has to really fucking control himself. But he’s trying to keep these thoughts at bay because he needs to figure out what he’s doing about Hana.

He lays here thinking of all the moments he has flirted with you for the camera, he groans into his pillow when he has the hardest realization. Is it really for the camera? The tension between you two is so fucking thick, the air is suffocating, making it hard to breathe. The intensity…the thrill. You are the only one who makes him feel like his world is burning with a passionate fire. Hana is nice but you? You’re you and he’s realizing how much he likes that.

He’s realizing a lot. It’s been 6 months and he thinks he is ready to admit that this is beyond what he signed up for. He signed on to get along, but this? This is a whole other journey he’s going on.

Taehyung sits up in bed, his face gone pale as he makes his realizations. His mouth hangs open as his mind races. Does Taehyung just want to fuck you? Or….does Taehyung like you?

Suddenly, there’s soft knocking on his bedroom door, his head snaps in that direction and he knows it’s you—well duh, who else would it be? He scrambles off the bed and he’s opening the door. You’re wearing yoga pants and a long sleeve shirt now with an innocent smile on your face.

“I turned the AC down.” You say. “Now I won’t make your life hard by wearing hardly any clothes.” You’re teasing him and he’s going wild for it.

“Oh really?” he breathes out, “Are you going to say sorry?” he teases back, his breathing picking up.

“Should I ask for forgiveness?” you mock him and he raises a brow at you.

“I’m going to make you beg y/n.” he says lowly, “Keep this up and I’ll be carrying you to the other bedroom.”

Your smile drops at his words. What does he mean by that? He’s taking the acting too far…

“You ever begged before baby?” He walks closer to you, making you uneasy. You step backward further into the hall and sigh out.

“Maybe.”

“From now on, you’ll only ever do it for me.” He says so low, that you barely hear him. But you do hear him and you shudder.

“Taehyung.” You warn softly, you push him by the shoulders, backing him into his bedroom. Once inside you close the door and look at him expectantly.

“What?” he rolls his eyes at you.

“You’re being too much…” you whisper. “But fuck, I gotta admit you’re good.” You breathe out roughly, “It almost feels real.”

“I wasn’t kidding earlier.” Taehyung walks towards you, his hand reaching out to touch the ends of you hair, “Who says this is for the cameras?”

You glance up at him, clearly confused.

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh y/n.” Taehyung feels his heart start to race. “This just got a lot more interesting.”

[toosicktoocare]

emergency contact

pt 1 of 2 and also found on ao3!

(i promise i’m not ignoring my prompts- this idea just kinda popped into my head)

“Hi, may I speak with Mr. Evan Buckley?”

Frowning, Buck pulls the phone away from his ear. He doesn’t know the number; however, the area code is local, so he can probably rule out a scam call. At least, he thinks, the woman on the other line sounds very much real and not a robotic recording about to lead in with a cruise ship he didn’t sign up for.

“Uh, yeah. This is Buck—I mean Evan. This is Evan Buckley.” He clears his throat. He can hear a lot of background noise—a lot of muffled speaking, intercoms crackling. He’s heard it before, but he’s struggling to equate the noise to a particular memory, only having a small rock of dread burrowing low in his stomach to go by.

“Hi, Mr. Buckley. I’m Nurse Johns at LA General. I have you listed as the second emergency contact for Christopher Diaz.”

Buck’s stomach bottoms out, leaving him nauseous, weightless, and far too cold despite the LA sun beating in through his window and warming his bed. He shivers and forces himself upright in bed, muscles rigid, jaw a tense, jutted line.

“His father,” Buck starts into the phone, shaky, “Eddie—Edmundo Diaz—”

“—didn’t answer. You’re next on the list. Sir, if this is incorrect, I’ll need to move on to the next person—”

“—no!” Buck jerks to his feet, nudging abandoned clothes around with his foot until he finds a pair of gym shorts. “I’m… His father’s on a shift with the LAFD. Is Chris okay? What’s going on?” Composure, he thinks, is out the window. Then again, he’s never been capable of the whole ‘cool, calm, and collected’ thing when it comes to Chris. He snags the same shirt he tossed to the floor when he climbed into bed this morning after his 24-hour, a short-sleeved, blue shirt, and slips it over of his head, careful of his phone.

“Sir, I can’t disclose that over the phone.”

“Right,” Buck mutters, nodding more to himself. “I’m on my way now. Tell Chris—tell him Bucky’s on the way, okay?” He ends the call, taking the steps down from his loft two at a time. He’s only faintly aware that he’s shaking, and the rock of dread’s grown triple in size and sits heavily against his gut. He fumbles with his keys, pockets his wallet, and just remembers to slip on a pair of sandals. If he weren’t moving against a rush of fear, he’d take the time to give a mental ‘look who’s laughing now’ to everyone who’s made fun of the sandals in the last two months since he purchased them, but, the fear is a cold hand that’s pulling on him, disrupting his thoughts, chiseling against his composure.

He doesn’t dwell. He races out of his apartment, and in seconds, he’s in his jeep and whipping out of his parking spot. He knows LA well, knows the traffic patterns, and he’s unfortunately hitting lunch rush, which, he thinks, is probably similar to some twisted second layer of hell. He wishes, more than anything in this second, that he had an engine, that he could dominate the road with the power of a siren, but his jeep will have to suffice. Still, his grip on his steering wheel is tight, his knuckles fading white, when he hits the first of many red lights.

He uses hands-free to call Eddie, not surprised to get his voicemail after only two rings.

“Eddie! Chris is in the hospital—They didn’t give me any details, and I’m on my way now. They called you first. I’m next on the list?” Buck pauses briefly on that, gets lost in that fact, but then he shakes his head. “Look, he’s at LA General—just get there when you can, okay?”

He ends the calls, somehow feeling even worse, and then he tries Bobby. Logically, he knows that if Eddie’s not answering, Bobby probably won’t either. Still, when he’s teetering on the edge of panic, Bobby can talk him down, can ease him safely back to the present.  

“Buck?”

Buck’s foot slips a little too hard on the gas, and he sucks in a sharp breath. “Bobby? Bobby! Where’s Eddie?”

“Currently? He’s probably making his way back to a second story window, hopefully with one of the victims of an expansive house fire.” A pause. “What’s going on, Buck?”

Buck peers around, swallows back a groan at the cars on every side of him. “Look, can you get Eddie to LA General ASAP?”

“You’re at LA General? Are you hurt?”

“No! I mean, I will be, but it’s not me—it’s Christopher. Bobby, I don’t…” Buck sighs, drags a free hand down his face. He can feel his lungs constricting. The pressure of panic’s a bitch.

“They didn’t say anything over the phone. They tried Eddie first, and then they called me. I’m—”

“—Buck, take a breath. I’ll get Eddie there as soon as possible. You be careful driving there, okay? Keep us updated.”

Buck comes back down to earth with a low breath that’s been trapped in his lungs. “Thanks, Bobby,” he says, and he means it, pushing his gratitude hard into the two words. The call ends, and Buck forces his focus onto the road, onto making it to the hospital in one piece because Christopher needs him.

***

Concussion.

It’s the only word Buck keeps coming back to. He’s being led down hallways that are too bright, too loud, and annoyingly familiar, and the nurse is explaining that Christopher took a tumble at school and is currently being monitored for a possible concussion. Buck nods when appropriate, offers a few non-verbal affirmatives, and then he’s stopping before two large, glass windows, and behind them, Chris is sitting in bed chatting with another nurse. His hand finds the glass, fingers spread out, anxiety spread even to his palms.

“You’re welcome to go in. We’ve told him you’re coming.”

Buck nods absently. He’s going to go in—of course, he’s going to go in. He just needs to take a single second to fully capture the image of Christopher alive and breathing in his mind, an image that can break through the muddle, clear his head, bring breath back to his lungs.

“Mr. Buckley?”

“Sorry,” Buck mutters, nodding. He turns when the nurse opens the door for him, and he wills away any and all fear etched deep in his face the second he crosses over into the room.

“Bucky!”

“Chris!” Buck’s no stranger to concussions, so though animated, he keeps his voice soft, and he walks toward the end of the bed, glancing at the clipboard. “How’re you feeling, bud?” He asks, satisfied to see that the doctor’s notes are promising.

“My head hurts.”

“I bet it does,” Buck mutters, sympathetic, and he drops onto the edge of the bed, one hand resting atop Christopher’s covered knee. “What happened?”

“Me and Caleb were playing firefighter, and I fell down a step.”

Buck sucks in a sharp breath, holds it in his lungs to brace for the familiar wave of guilt that’s soon to tangle in his breath, jab past his rib cage to his lungs. “Is that so?” He settles for, breathless, and Christopher’s face falls, his eyes dropping to his lap.

“Don’t tell dad. He’ll get mad.”

“Chris—”

“—Mr. Buckley, I presume?”

Buck’s never been more thankful for a doctor to walk in for he wasn’t sure how to unpackage Christopher’s quiet plea in a way that wouldn’t be considered as overstepping Eddie’s parental authority but also in a way that wouldn’t have Christopher demanding he leave.

“Uh, yeah—It’s Buck.”

“Okay, Buck. Want the good news?”

“Will it be followed by bad news?” Buck asks, one brow arched, stomach twisting. “Because his father—”

“—no bad news today,” the doctor interrupts, and Buck huffs out a quiet sigh of relief and gives Christopher’s knee a squeeze. He gives a nod, and the doctor plucks the clipboard up.

“Christopher’s been cleared of a concussion. He’s got a few scrapes and bruises, and his head will probably hurt for a few more hours, but otherwise, he’s fine. I’ll leave a note at the front desk to begin the discharge papers. He should be out within the hour.”

“Thanks, Doc,” Buck mutters, and he nods when the doctor and nurses exit, giving him space to breathe; though, he’s not sure how much he can actually breath encompassed in four, blinding walls that bring back a pressing dark cloud of memories.

“Buck?”

Buck blinks slowly, peels his gaze from the door to see Christopher smiling softly at him, poking at his side.

“Can you lay with me?”

Buck eyes the small bed, mentally works round the best way to squeeze in, to maximize Christopher’s comfort, and he slips his sandals off and climbs onto the bed, impossibly gentle when he adjusts Chris. When he’s got Christopher against his chest, he sighs, and Christopher sighs with him, content, safe.

***

“That’s the last of them, Cap,” Eddie coughs lightly, tugs his helmet off. His lungs burn faintly from smoke inhalation. It’s not bad by any means, but he’s dabbling with the idea of having Hen look him over anyway.  

“Should I help with fire…” Eddie’s words trail off when the 122 pulls up onto the scene, their members already hopping out of the engine and working the hose. “Was backup necessary?” He glances back over his shoulder. Sure, the fire’s large, but he doesn’t think it’s classified as a level high enough to warrant local support.

“Are you okay?”

Eddie whips back around, squints at Bobby. “Yeah, why?”

“Let me clarify: are you okay to leave the scene right this second, or do you need to a look-over now?”

Eddie’s still struggling to read Bobby’s tone for it’s always frighteningly composed, even in the face of emergency. “I’m okay now.” He nods slowly, and then Bobby’s turning on his heel and wordlessly gesturing him toward the engine.

He slips into the back, pausing to see Bobby sitting in the back with him, stationed across from him.

“Cap, what—”

“—have a seat.”

Eddie sits slowly, slips his headphones on, and then the engine’s roaring to life beneath him and pulling away from the scene. He’s alone with Bobby because Hen and Chimney left earlier with a patient, and he can’t shake the feeling that he’s in trouble for something. He replays his actions at the house fire, yet he can’t find an error that would warrant a private conversation with Bobby.

“Buck called,” Bobby finally says, and Eddie drags his gaze from the cars moving onto the road shoulders, now finally tuning in to the fact that the sirens are wailing overhead still, the engine demanding the street with the shrill sounds and flashing lights. The sirens shouldn’t be on unless…

“Is he okay?”

“Buck’s fine. The hospital called him because Christopher was brought in. They tried you, and he was next on the emergency contact list.”

There’s dread, Eddie thinks. Dread when he rides up to a call and gathers the first, initial assessment of the situation. And then there’s bone-deep, crippling fear—fear that twists in his gut, pools into his lungs, walls around his heart. It drains the blood from his face, freezes his muscles, steals his breath, and buries his mind in a series of what if scenarios that range from grim to downright terrifying.

“Eddie, breathe.”

He does, but only because his mind is trained to respond on command to Bobby’s voice. The breath he sucks in his short and cold, and he finally reaches in his pocket for his phone. He’s got four missed calls, three voicemails, and a series of texts from Buck, all fairly close in time to the other.

He goes through the texts—he won’t be able to hear the voicemails right now, and he really doesn’t think he’ll be able to stomach Buck’s panicked, broken voice.

[From: Buck] Chris is okay. He fell at school and hit his head

[From: Buck] no concussion. Doc said he can be discharged within the hour

[From: Buck] I’ve checked him over. There’s a bruise on his side I want to keep an eye on but otherwise he’s okay

[From: Buck] we should talk about why he fell

[From: Buck] but not until later! Sorry that last text sounded weird…

[From: Buck] discharge in 20 minutes. I’ll bring him back to yours if you aren’t able to come yet. I still have the spare key you gave me

He’s blinks around the tears pooling in his eyes, swallows thickly. “Buck said he’s okay. He fell at school.” He’s aware his voice is shaking, and then Bobby claps him on the knee.

“That’s a good thing.”

It is, Eddie thinks, swiping the back of his hand over his eyes. He works on his breathing, controlling it, counting breaths, but when they pull up to the hospital, the fear comes back, muted now, but still there, always there.

He hops out of the engine, Bobby not far behind, and in just seconds, a nurse is guiding them back. When he reaches the door and looks beyond the glass to see Christopher curled up against Buck’s chest, he breathes, deeply and fully, for the first time since he pulled himself up into the engine. Relief, he thinks, is the singular image of the two most important people in his life safe and together.

***

“Christopher!”

Buck whips his gaze from his phone where he’s got a story pulled up to read to Christopher, and he slowly turns Chris over just as Eddie rounds the bed and pulls Chris to his chest tightly. He notes, to himself, that Eddie’s in full turnout gear, that he’s got soot smudges on his face, that his jaw is a set, unwavering line jutting against his skin.

“Daddy!”

“¿Estás bien, hijo?”

“Sí.”

Buck wordlessly slips from the bed, toes his feet into his sandals. He crosses his arms and backs away from the scene, feeling all too overwhelmed, suddenly suffocated despite the brush of relief before him, and then Eddie’s looking toward him, frowning, eyes unreadable, and Buck offers a small smile.

“The discharge papers,” he motions toward a stack of papers on the end of the hospital bed. “I’ll bring my jeep around.”

“Wait, Buck—”

Buck slips out of the room, eyes cast to the ground, and he bumps right into someone, his hand coming up to fist around the turnout jacket and his head dropping against a shoulder.

“You okay, Buck?”

There are so many ways Buck wants to say no, but the one that’s most alarming, one that’s been a nagging twinge in his lungs, is the one he opts for. “I don’t think I can breathe.” His voice is breathless, and then Bobby’s guiding him with a hand to his back toward the nearest exit. The second he bursts through the double doors, he sucks in a sharp gasp that breaks way to a few coughs, and he’s being gently eased onto the edge of the sidewalk.

“Easy, Buck. Breathe with me, okay?”

Buck meets Bobby’s eyes, nods, and drags his gaze down to Bobby’s chest, watching the steady rise and fall, mimicking it, until the fog clouding his brain breaks, leaving him far too tired. His shoulders slump, and Bobby claps a hand to his shoulder.

“What’s going on?”

“I didn’t know…” Buck sighs, dropping his face into his palms. He can hear his therapist’s voice reminding him that he’ll feel better if he’s more open with others. “I’m really overwhelmed right now.” He can feel Bobby’s hand tighten around his shoulder, a wordless sign to continue. “Just… Getting that call that Chris is in the hospital really freaked me out. I know he’s fine, but just… He’s the last person I ever want to see in a hospital bed.”

“Now you know how I feel every time I get a call that you’re in the hospital.”

“Bobby,” Buck groans, lifting his head to match Bobby’s smile.

“You look tired—I don’t imagine you got much sleep before the call?”

“A few hours,” Buck admits, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Not sure I’ll get back to sleep anytime soon. I’m exhausted, but it’s definitely going to take some time for the adrenaline to die down.”

“Do you need me to take Eddie and Chris back?”

“Nah,” Buck drags himself up to his feet, yawning. “I’m going to need to physically see Christopher safe in bed before I can even think about unwinding.” He can see one of the engines not far off in the parking lot, and he laughs quietly. “Though, I bet Chris would love to be back in the truck.” He frowns at Bobby’s turnover gear. “Did you leave right after a call?”

“I requested the 122 to come in for backup.”

Nodding absently, Buck looks back toward the doors they came from, and he crosses his arms, fingers digging into the skin. He knows that he’s taken all necessary steps when faced with an abrupt situation, yet he can’t shake the underlining burn in his stomach that he overstepped, that he didn’t get here fast enough, that he should have added a step, or even removed one, when getting here.

“You did good today, Buck.”

His shoulders slump, tension falling with them, and he huffs out a low sigh.

“Thanks, Bobby.”

***

“You keep looking at him like he’s going to disappear.”

Buck jumps; he didn’t hear the shower cut off, nor did he hear Eddie slip into Christopher’s room behind him.

“I keep thinking he might,” Buck whispers, and Eddie tugs at his arm, urging him up from the chair he’s got pulled up to Christopher’s bed. He lets Eddie guide him from the room, but when Eddie tries to ease him onto the couch, he digs his heels into the floor, and Eddie turns to him, brows furrowed.

“Buck—”

“—when were you planning on telling me I’m second on Christopher’s list of emergency contacts?”

Buck doesn’t miss the deep, calculated sigh Eddie breathes, and he opts to remain standing when Eddie sinks down onto the couch, only watching wordlessly as Eddie runs fingers through his damp hair.

“It was Chris’s idea.”

Buck blinks slowly. “What?”

“After the tsunami. When we were leaving the hospital, he mentioned how you saved him. He said he wanted you to be the person who comes to save him again.” Eddie pauses, rubs smally at the shirt fabric just above his chest. “I resisted at first—I told Christopher we couldn’t ask something that big of you, but I’ve seen countless times since then how far you’ll go for him, so I called and had you added second on the list.”

Eddie takes in a low breath, and Buck’s mutely envious because he can’t do the same.

“If I can’t get to him, it needs to be you.”

Buck’s struggling to pick something to focus on. His heart wants to chase the heat of Eddie’s words, yet the guilt, as it always is, is an overpowering force that leaves him shaking his head, backing up until the back of his leg hits the coffee table.

“It can’t be me.” He watches Eddie’s face fall, but Eddie still nods, understanding even now.

“I get it. I should have asked first. I know it’s a big responsibility—”

“—what?” Buck shakes his head again, crosses his arms. “It’s not the responsibility. You know I would do absolutely anything for that kid. It’s the fact that it’s my fault he ended up in the hospital today.”

Eddie cocks his head to the side, lips in a firm line, and Buck knows this look well—it’s Eddie’s way of signaling for Buck to continue, knowing well that Buck will finish on his own, that he doesn’t need verbal prompts to guide him toward his point.

“He was playing firefighter with one of his friends at school, and he fell down a step.”

The silence that follows feels thick enough to clog Buck’s lungs. He wants to sit—his legs are shaking, but if he sits, he can’t flee as fast, and he just knows Eddie’s going to ask him to leave, to not come back. And, Buck thinks, Eddie should. Eddie should yell at him for filling Christopher’s mind with stories from work, for encouraging this imaginative behavior that dropped him onto a hospital bed.

“Is that it?” Eddie says instead, calm, and Buck frowns, jaw opening and closing, struggling for words.

“I mean, I’m waiting for the part where you tell me how this is your fault,” Eddie clarifies, and Buck sinks onto the coffee table at this, not trusting his legs to hold him upright.

“Eddie, I’m constantly telling him stories from work, glorifying the job, painting all of these verbal, detailed images that fill his mind and plant ideas.”

“And you think I don’t?”

“Eddie—”

“—Buck, we have the same job. If Chris asks me what I did at work, I tell him. I spare him the calls that don’t go in our favor, but otherwise, I tell him.”

Buck blinks slowly, mind operating around 30% capacity, and Eddie leans forward, cupping a hand to Buck’s knee.

“No one’s at fault. Kid’s got one hell of an imagination.”

“Wait, hold on. You’re not mad?” Buck expected yelling. He expected to get kicked out of Eddie’s house, and yet, Eddie’s calm before him, relaxed, a little tired around the edges, but he’s showing no signs that he’s seconds from blowing up.

“There’s nothing to be mad about.”

Buck can only blink at Eddie. He’s faintly aware that his eyes are watering, and then Eddie’s pulling him back up by the arm.

“Okay, we all know by now that you get sappy when you’re tired.”

Buck stops in the doorway when Eddie steps into the bedroom, watching as Eddie pulls back the covers and motions toward the bed. He shakes his head, one hand gripping tightly at the doorframe.

“Eddie, I’m not taking your bed. You should be with Chris. I’ll go—”

“—Chris will want you here when he wakes up. Plus, it doesn’t take but basic math to realize you’re working on only four hours of sleep after a 24, so you’d be doing everyone a favor by shutting up and getting in the damn bed.”

“Eddie.”

“Buck.”

Buck holds Eddie’s gaze, breaking it after a few, heavy moments with a weighted sigh. He shuffles toward the bed, kicking off his sandals and climbing in on the side farthest from the door, knowing that the side closest to the door is reserved for Eddie, to accommodate Eddie’s needs to be the first to act if something happens.

The bed is heaven against his sore body, and the second his head hits the pillow, he’s struggling to keep his eyes open. The adrenaline is fully fleeing now, leaving him exhausted to the core in more ways than one. He blinks slowly, watching as Eddie climbs into the other side of the bed, sighing loudly, and he rolls toward Eddie, studying the way Eddie gingerly rubs at his chest for the second time.

“You give your oxygen mask to someone during the house fire?” Buck asks around a yawn, and Eddie nods.

“It wasn’t for long.”

“You didn’t get checked over.” It’s not a question; Buck knows, based on the sight of Eddie arriving at the hospital looking rough for wear and donned in full gear, but Eddie still responds.

“No, but I’m fine.”

Buck forces himself up on one elbow, frown deep, brows furrowed. “You should get checked out now. I can call Hen—”

“—did you forget I was a field medic?” Eddie arches a brow, and Buck sinks back against the pillow.

“No, you always find a time to remind me. You can’t check yourself over, though.”

“And how many times have you ignored a fractured rib because you ‘checked yourself over?’” Eddie fires back, and Buck groans, draping an arm over his eyes.

They fall silent, and Buck’s body is urging him to give in to the fatigue draping over him. Still, he can’t fully settle. The adrenaline of the last hour and a half is a flame that’s almost completely burned out. Still, it flickers smally, and he rolls onto his side, watching Eddie.

“The bruise on Christopher’s side. We should—”

“—I looked, and we iced it until he fell asleep. Now, please shut up and sleep.”

[checkingoutforheroes]

Natasha’s Birthday.

Pairing: Natasha x fem!reader

Words: 2786

Warning: None? I think.

Genre: Just fluffff. I PROMISE!

AU Notes: I suggest you listen to Uptown Girl by Westlife or Billy Joel while reading this💃🏻🕺🏻

Synopsys: Natasha is not happy to celebrate her own birthday party without her love life. Can Y/n make it?

              People starts filling the party area in the compound. Perks of being Tony Stark best friend, he will never miss any of your guy’s birthday. Party is a must! Natasha try to hid her sad and disappoint feeling on her own party but fail when Wanda can easily feel and read mind. 

             Y/n have been send to a week mission yesterday and there is no way she can come home. The team acknowledge that and tried their best to cheer their friend up. Thor arrived and Tony greet him. “Right on time, Point Break. Party about to start.” “I couldn’t miss the party. It’s birthday party, there must be a cake. How’s Natasha? I heard Y/n is on a mission.” The god of thunder asking his fellow Avengers. 

            Clint answer him while Tony ask Pepper to call Natasha and Wanda to come down. “This is a secret okay. Do not, any circumstances, tell Natasha this but Y/n is not on a ‘work’ mission.” Thor confuse “What do you mean?” “He means; Y/n is preparing a big surprise for Natasha. It’s more like a show for her. We all kind of have a part in it. Sorry you didn’t have time to rehearse with us.” Steve explaining to him and Thor just sip his drinks happily. “That’s okay. I like watching a show. We have them on Asgard too, when we celebrating something. Like this.”

             “And, done.” Wanda is doing Natasha’s hair and can’t help to hear her thought. “Maybe Y/n will celebrate it with you when she’s back. I know it past your birthday but I also know she definitely celebrating it.” Natasha just smiling on her chair, looking at Wanda through the mirror in front of them. “You invading my privacy.”

           Wanda just giggle to answer to her mentor. “Well you’re not helping by thinking too loud. We all here for you tonight and I swear I can hear Thor already betting with someone, something about a drink?”

          “Thor’s here huh? He’s been away in space but still can manage to come visit his fellow Avengers birthday party. While Y/n was away in a silly mission.” Natasha fake a smile.

          “I understand if you want to strangle Fury right now but it’s time to go.” Someone knocking on the door and Pepper come in to get them. “Well, I’m here to invite this birthday girl to her own birthday party.” Natasha smile at her. “We are going. Let’s go.” Pepper nodding “Good idea. Because Thor is just a step away to get everybody drunk.”

             They can hear the music blasting when they reach to the floor. “I guess you’re the one who handling the guests invitation?” Natasha asking Pepper. “If I let Tony, he’ll invite the whole Manhattan.” “You know me so well now, Pepper.”

           Tony grabs the mic from the DJ and announce Natasha’s arrival. “Ladies and gentlemen, I announcing the arrival of our birthday girl for tonight, The Double Agent imposter.” The crowds go silent and only Tony and Thor are laughing. “I was just kidding. The lovely Natasha Romanoff!!” Now the crowds cheering loudly.

           The party goes smoothly as planned. Some of the guess already drunk, chatting with their friends, playing at the pool table, throwing darts and here they are, in a group, sitting in a lounge, chatting with the birthday girl. “I see there are 3 piles of presents.” Asked by the birthday girl.

“They are from your rich guests here, your fan clubs and your little fans.” Clint told her.

“That’s sweet.” She said and Steve notice something is not right. “What is it? You not like it?”

“I like it.”

“She’ll kill to be here but no choice.” Steve try to makes his friend feel better at her own birthday.

“I asked Fury for an exchange, me instead, but you know that old man.” Clint assure her.

           “Thank you for trying making me feel better. Well, the God is here. What more can I wish for right?” Natasha smile at Thor. “I apologize, I didn’t bring anything from Asgard. I’m from another course and drop by here but I have this humble drink for you.” Thor hand the drink in an antique and unique bottle to Natasha and she takes it. “Thanks! I could really use it now though.” Tony looks unsatisfied at Thor. “And you didn’t bring one for me?!” Pepper interject him “Thanks to that. You are already drunk even when you’re sober.” “I cannot disagree to that statement.” Sam jokes. Clint, Tony and Steve excuse themselves.

          Wanda immediately stops her from drinking that drink. “Why did you stop me?” She asked and Wanda told her to enjoy the party. “You can drink that later because you might want to enjoy your ‘not so boring’ party first. That drink is probably too strong you know, not made for human.” “Everybody else is probably drunk right now, I don’t see why I can’t.” “I can’t let you because-”

         Right on time the music play and Natasha turn her head so fast to the stage when she hears Y/n voice. “...that.” Wanda finishes her sentences. Turns out it’s not just you. There Steve on the keyboard, Clint on drum, Tony on bass guitar and Maria Hill on electric guitar. All wearing the same old S.H.I.E.L.D old uniform, sleeve rolling up. They all have microphone with them and singing as backup vocals as Y/n go lead.

          Uptown girl,

          She’s been living in her uptown world

          I bet she never had a backstreet guy

          I bet her mama never told her why

          I’m gonna try for an uptown girl  (Uptown girl…)

         She’s been living in her white, bright world (white, bright world…)

         As long as anyone with the hot blood can (hot blood can…)

         And now she’s lookin’ for a downtown man (downtown man…)

         That’s what I am

         Her green eyes sparkles bright enough to light up the room when she sees you on stage singing the classic Uptown Girl. She turns to Wanda and Pepper asking whether it is really Y/n or a hologram. “Is that?” Wanda smiles wide and nods. “Yes, that’s Y/n.” Pepper add “I kill Tony myself if that is screen recording or hologram.”

              And when she knows

              What she wants

              From her time

             And when she wake up

             And make up

             Her mind

            She’ll see I’m not so tough (duet with Steve)

            Just because

            I’m in love with an uptown girl  (uptown girl)

           You know I see her in her uptown world (uptown world)

           She’s getting tired of her high class toys (high class toys)

           And all her presents from her

           Uptown boys  (uptown boys)

          She’s got a choice.

          Oh oh oh oh oh oh

          Oh oh oh oh oh oh

           Fury come out of nowhere “It is so awkward to see The Avengers singing. And dancing. Maybe not for Captain America.” Natasha turns to see Fury. “Nick. Is this part of your plan too?” He smiles “How can I not? She’s been begging me for the last two months to not give any of you a mission specifically on this day. It’s worth it.”

Natasha chuckles, out of words. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet.” Fury turns over and showing Natasha’s family. Yes, her family. Alexi, Melina and her little sister Yelena.

Wanda whisper at Natasha’s ear “They are real too.” She nods at Natasha “Go.”

           Thor walks towards Wanda and Fury. “I’ve never seen her smiling that big.” Pepper and Wanda looking at her greeting her family. “Me too.”

          “Such a noble thing you did.” Thor said to Fury and he just smiling. Natasha brings her family to introduce to Wanda, Thor and Pepper. They continue watching the show and Wanda pulls Natasha’s hand when Y/n calling them to come up the stage. “Let’s go. All of us. The band need us.” Pepper let Natasha’s family walks first. Wanda presenting Natasha and let Y/n takes her hand. She goes next to Steve, Pepper next to Tony, Thor doing silly dance next to Maria and be silly together while her family enjoying with all of them near Clint.

             Uptown girl

             You know I can’t afford to buy her pearl

             But maybe when my ship comes in

             She’ll understand what kind of guy I’ve been

             And then I win.

Y/n put her hand out for Natasha to take and walking on the stage. Que for her walking. Luckily Natasha play along.

             And when she’s walking

             She’s looking so fine

             And when she’s talking

             She’s say that she’s mine

Y/n pass her to her family and jog towards Tony.

             She’ll say I’m not so tough (duet with Tony)

             Just because

             I’m in love with an uptown girl  (oohhh)

             She’s been living in her white, bread world (oohhh)

             As long as anyone with a hot blood can (ooohhh)

             And now she’s looking for a downtown man (oohhh)

             That’s what I am

             Oh oh oh oh

             Oh oh oh oh

             While the rest of them singing the ‘Oh’ parts, you Y/n whisper to Natasha. “You know the next part. You’ve seen the video.” Natasha shyly looking at her family and friends until Yelena yells “Go! This is one in a lifetime chances.” Natasha looks at Y/n, her smile still plastering at her beautiful face. “Why are you doing this to me?” “Because I love you. Dance with me.” The music continues playing even they stop playing the instruments to gather around just like they practiced. Tony already set the music with Friday and it knows the queue.

             Uptown girl  (uptown girl)

             She’s my uptown girl

             You know I’m in love

             With an uptown girl  (uptown girl)

             My uptown girl

            You know I’m in love

             With a birthday girl  (uptown girl)

            She’s my birthday girl

            You know I’m in love

            With an uptown girl  (uptown girl)

             My uptown girl….

            They let their friend finish that song. Everybody enjoying the moment and each of them have biggest smile on their faces. Even Fury, Director of S.H.I.E.L.D himself. It’s weird but yes, he is smiling. Y/n and Natasha go hugs their friends and family. Y/n stops at Natasha’s family while she’s with Steve and Maria at the other end.

“I know I just met you, but I already like you Y/n.” Melina says to Y/n and Alexi continue. “It’s hard to see her smile like that. Not even when she’s a kid.”

“Take a good care of my sister. I trust you.” Yelena said.

“She doesn’t even trust me! Her father.” Alexi said and Yelena jus rolling her eyes.

            Y/n look at them with hope and grateful in her eyes. “Thank you, for allowing me to marry your daughter, sister. I promise I’ll take care of her.” Yelena sees her sister coming toward them “What are you waiting for? Go put the ring on her finger, in-law.” Y/n smiles big at Yelena’s as she called her sister in-law.

             The crowds getting quiet when Tony put a ‘silent’ sign on the screen above them while the other screen focus on Y/n and Natasha without they even notice. Secretly Tony recording the whole thing since the beginning and make the whole documentary out of it. Y/n surely need to thank him.

             “Happy birthday, Natasha. You, look so, d.. divine. Tonight.” Y/n nervously said to her soon to be fiancé. Hopefully.

              “You sound nervous. You’ve been singing, dancing in front of hundreds people in this room and you’re nervous to praise me?” Natasha cupping your cheek with her right hand. Y/n pull her hand down and Natasha’s sensing something is wrong. “Y/n. What’s wrong?” They didn’t notice that all of The Avengers slowly moves behind Y/n. Even Y/n doesn’t know this part. It was Wanda’s idea. They all get down on their knee when Y/n is on her knee.

              “You’re right. I am nervous, now. I’m speechless. Over the edge, I’m breathless. I understand if… I understand...” Y/n is so nervous and let out a long sigh before looking at Natasha’s family behind her. They all nodding at Y/n. Y/n take a deep breath and pull out a red velvet box that have a diamond engagement ring from her pocket. Y/n get down on her knee.

              To be honest, Natasha is also nervous and shock, mix with happy and overwhelm when she sees not just Y/n who down on one knee but the whole Avengers. Her second family, also bending their knee but she keeps her composure. Y/n turns to see where Natasha’s looking and almost let out tears when she sees them. 

              They both looking eye to eye and Y/n starts talking. “You know how terrible I am with words when I’m nervous. That’s why I’m so bad at espionage. You are the most solid, nothing to solidify. Calm and collected. We avenge together, we mess up together. You know I love you, right? Natasha Romanoff, will you accept my proposal?” Wanda hissing and whisper directly to you from her place “Pssstt… Will you marry me. Will. You. Marry. Me.” Your eyes still lock on Natasha astonishing green eyes. “Sorry. Umm... Will you marry me?”

              “We drive each other mad, but what is love with no pain and suffer.” The whole room is so quiet that they can only listen to their own heart beats. “To you, I’ve never lied. For you, I’d take a life. I swear.” Natasha said eyes still on each other. “Your answer is…….?” Y/n gulp and Natasha smile. “Yes. I’ll marry you, my favorite Avengers.”

              Y/n get up from the floor and hug Natasha a little too strong because why not? She’s over the moon right now. Before Natasha kiss her new fiancé, Y/n turn around and runs to her friends. “SHE SAID YES GUYS! She said the big YES!!”

Pepper stops Y/n. “Y/n, have you kiss her yet?”

“I did hug her.”

They all yell “KISS HER!!” You run towards Natasha and kiss her. “I’m sorry I forget to kiss you. I’m so excited! Can I kiss you now?” Natasha giggles “You’ve never ask my permission before.” Y/n kiss Natasha in front of her family and they awkwardly watch especially Yelena.

“Are you sure she’s an Avenger? Not from any circus camp?” Yelena looking at her sister.

“No.” Natasha let out a small laugh. “No? Are you sure? Yes? No? ” “No…” “Okay if you’re sure, because I want you to be happy.” The sisters hug each other for a while meanwhile Y/n and Wanda hold each other hand jumping up and down like children get what they wish for as Christmas present.  “she said Yes Wanda. I’m getting marry.” “Yes you’re getting marry.”  

“Natasha.” Melina caught her attention. “I’m proud of you. We, all proud of you. You’ve grown to be an incredible woman Natasha.”

“Looooonggg way from Ohio.” Yelena smiles. “I’ll never forget Ohio.” Natasha told he sister.

“She’s a good person, Natasha.” Alexi caught her attention. Seriousness shown on his face, he continues. “She did asked us for our blessing.” “She did what?” Now its her turn to be serious.

“She asked for our blessing. To marry you.”

“Y/n asked for your blessing?”

“Yes. I know! I can’t believe it too until I saw it with my own eyes.”

“Hah! You’re marrying a vintage.” Yelena laugh at her sister. “Mom, almost take her down with sniper.”

Natasha look sternly at Melina “Almost! Okay! Almost. I didn’t because she came unarms. Not even a swish blade.” Melina clearing the situation.

“She came to you guys? When?” Natasha asked her family.

“Yeah. Alone. Last month. Why?” Alexi asks her daughter.

“I thought Fury brought you guys here. I never told her where do you live. Only Fury knows, based on my file details.”

“She did break into Maria Hill’s personal computer just to find your original file. No one ever know that you and Barton had an original file. Somehow, she did. She’s a catch Romanoff.” Fury came behind her.

“Thank you.” Natasha at him.

“I have to go. It broke my heart to see the Avengers jumping like that.” He looks at the Avengers. “Lighten up, Fury. Let her have a moment.” Natasha said. “You better tell your fiancé not to break any S.H.I.E.L.D files or computers ever again. I’m watching.” He nods at her family and walks away. The family joins The Avengers drinking and chatting. Natasha greeted by Y/n and put her arm around Y/n neck.

“Hey you.” Y/n smiles.

“Hey fiancé.” Natasha smirking seductively at Y/n.

“Fiancé. Huh, I’d like that.”

“Wait until I call you my wife.”

“I’ll love that.”

Tony snap their picture and post it on instagram and twiter. The news travel so fast and the whole world are happy for them. Who doesn’t get excited. Two of earth mightiest heroes are engaged to each other. Their phones are blown off with calls, notification, texts, emails from fans, reporters, sponsors, government, agencies this, that. All of those are for congratulate the couple.  

[definitelyseven]

deal | fourteen

summary: when your step-mom unexpectedly offers you a deal you can’t resist, you decide to give her a taste of her own medicine by seducing her potential suitor, Im Jaebum.

one (m) | two | three (m) | four (m) | five | six (m) | seven | eight (m) | nine | ten | eleven | twelve (m) | thirteen | fourteen | fifteen | sixteen | seventeen - final |

You sat quietly in the front, watching the people around you chatting happily and kids running around the venue. Today was the wedding. Today was the day he was going to marry her.

You wish you were brave enough to leave but you weren’t. Deep down you still had that sliver of hope that he wouldn’t marry her, that he would see how fake she was. 

“Y/N!” Minguk called as he ran towards you. “Y/N!” he called again, pulling on your dress. You snapped out of your thought and looked down at him. 

You gave him a subtle smile, “What is it?”

“Daddy told me to come get you,” he said, pulling on your hand.

“No he didn’t,” you responded. 

“Why did you and daddy fight?” he asked, getting in the seat next to you. “Are you and daddy not friends anymore?”

“Minguk, listen to me. I love you, you know that right?” you asked him. He nods with a big smile. “I have to go away for awhile and I don’t know when I’ll be back. But you have to promise me, you’ll be a good boy.”

“Where are you going?” he said climbing on your lap. You pulled him in for a hug. “You’re squishing me,” he whined.

“Sorry,” you mumbled. “Go and play,” you tell him. You watched as he got off your lap and ran off, probably forgetting instantly what you just talked about. You made your way towards the back of the venue where the bride and groom were getting ready. You knocked gently before entering. 

Eunbi chuckled at the sight of you. “Could you give us a minute?” she asks everyone in the room. 

You waited for everyone to leave before speaking. “You won.”

She smirked, “Of course I did. I always do,” she said making her way towards you. “But you didn’t exactly lose either.”

“Do you love him?” 

Eunbi chuckles again, “Do you?” You remained silent. “Oh come on, don’t tell me you actually fell for Jaebum.”

“You never loved my father. You never loved Jaebum,” you said with tears in your eyes. 

“When you’re as rich as me, does love even matter?” she finally revealed. 

“How could you do that? First my father, now Jaebum.”

She smirked again before leaning into your ear. “You were right though,” she whispered. “I never loved your father.” Eunbi let out another chuckle before moving away. 

You glared at her, your tears threatening to fall. She continues to smirk at you. In that moment, all you wanted to do was slap her in the face. You wanted her to feel your pain - even if it would only hurt for a bit. 

“Don’t be sad, Y/N. At least you got $20 million dollars, right?” 

“I was only taking back what was mine,” you raised your voice at her. 

She brought her finger up to her lips, shushing you. “You don’t want everyone to know. You don’t want to embarrass him in front of his family.”

“No, I won’t. But I don’t mind embarrassing you,” you revealed as you took your phone at of your bag.

“When you’re as rich as me, does love even matter?” the recording played. “I never loved your father.” 

“And what do you plan on doing with that recording?” she asked, making her way back to her makeup table. 

“Expose you.”

She laughs out loud again. “You’re pathetic, Y/N. I actually feel sorry for you,” she teased. “Go, expose me. Go tell everyone outside. Go tell Jaebum,” she urged.

“Gladly,” you said before walking away. You quietly made your way to Jaebum’s room, thankful that he was alone. 

“You shouldn’t be in here,” Jaebum said as he sees you through his mirror. 

“I imagined you happier,” you commented.

“I am happy,” he tells you.

“If you were really happy, you wouldn’t need to tell me. I should be able to feel it.”

“What do you want, Y/N?” he said finally turning around to face you. 

“Can I ask you something?” 

“No.”

“Do you really believe her? Do you really believe what she said about me?” you asked on the verge of tears. You had to let him know, you’re not that kind of person. 

“Does it matter?”

“It does,” you said tears finally escaping your eyes. “It does matter.”

“No, Y/N. It doesn’t. I’m getting married to Eunbi.” You quickly played the voice memo on your phone. 

“She’s lying,” you tell him. “She even admitted it herself. She never loved my father,” you exposed. 

“I’m not like your father,” he sighed. “Y/N, she’s my best friend.”

“You don’t care that she’s using you?” you asked in disbelief. “This is proof she’s using you like she used my father. I don’t want you to lose everything,” you tell him as tears continued to roll down your cheeks. 

Jaebum sighs, making his way to you. He takes your hand in his. You missed his touch, his attention. “Don’t be like this,” he cooed. 

“Don’t marry her,” you sobbed. He strokes your cheek, wiping your tears away. This was the first time you asked him not to marry her. “Please...” you begged.

“I can’t. I have to marry her,” he tells you.

“Why do you have to? If you loved her, you wouldn’t have slept with me.”

He sighs again before kissing your forehead. He strokes the back of your neck before leaning his forehead against yours. “It was never going to work out between us.” 

You moved away from him. In that moment you realized, it was never about love. It was never about her being his best friend. “Oh god...” you let out as more tears rolled down your cheeks. “I’m so stupid,” you sobbed. “This whole time I thought she was using you,” you said as tears continued to roll down your face. “But you’re just like her. You’re no different.”

“We both have our reasons to be with each other,” he explained. 

You shook your head. “I think I’m going to be sick,” you said as you felt your stomach flip. “You let me believe that she was using you, that you were innocent. But you are far from that. You are just as evil as she is.”

“I’m not like her,” he tried to explain.

You shook your head in disagreement. “No, you’re worse.” You wiped your tears away as you chuckled at yourself. He was not worth it, not worth your tears. “Congratulations Jae. I hope you have a nice life with her. You both deserve each other,” you said before heading towards the door. 

“You can’t leave,” he demanded. “We paid you.”

You chuckled at yourself again with tears still in your eyes. Eunbi was right. You are pathetic. “Don’t worry, I remember our deal.”

a little note from jennie: thank you for your patience with this one. i’ve been busy with work. hope you enjoyed this one. what ending do you want to see?

[miizpah]

cₐₘₑᵣₐ wₒᵣₖ | suna rintarou

anon asks: this is a long one lol... this is a suna thirst!!! send tweet. okay we all know how suna just loves to record things, right??? so this definitely translates over to the bedroom y’know ;) and suna has like hundreds of pictures and videos of the both of you fucking or with cum on various parts of your (and his) body. okay here’s the request tho. you find his album with the vids and shit, and you try to explain to him how it bothers you (even though it doesn’t rlly bother you at all, ur more worried about someone hacking his phone) but suna is not having it ;););) and he thinks ur trying to control him and shit like that and as punishment he fucks you on camera and sends it his friends chat. hahah rip y/n. female reader, thanks!!

!post time skip!

tw. degrading, manipulation, cnc recording.

authors note: ooof, suna makes me go whoosh. anyways, i’m trying out a new theme... idk how to feel about it. make include some pictures or sum, idk idk idk...

Talk Shit Get Hit Bitch! 😎🤏🤬

four people are online...

best twin : ??? suna disappeared fast

bestest twin : where’d sunsun go? 👀

foxbutmakeitsexy : don’t call me that

foxbutmakeitsexy : n who changed my name?

jinbutwithouttheg : if we r talking abt stupid names

best twin : i think tsumu has the worst one

bestest twin : whatdja say?

jinbutwithouttheg : gorls don’t fight!!

jinbutwithouttheg : siriusly tho ... where did suna go?

foxbutmakeitsexy was online one minute ago

bestest twin : HUH?!??!

it was as if you were meant to see it. the album stored amongst the many photo albums that rintarou had, only difference was that this particular album looked like something out of a hentai manga. photos upon photos, some edited into different colors, others blurry but still noticeably you, and videos upon videos of just you, some of both of you, some of him. there hundreds of them, all staring back at you, seemingly mocking you.

you were only trying to take the phone to him, after he practically screamed from the living room that he forgot it and asked if you could take it to him. it was almost as if he wanted you to see the album, his phone’s bright light enchanting your eyes after picking the device up. it was like he knew that your curious nature would cause you to look.

“uh,” your voice was a bit soft, eyes looking everywhere but the questioning expression being sent your way. you hand the phone over, hands immediately coming together to twiddle your thumbs. “rin, those pictures of me are rather... bothersome?”

in actuality, it stroked your ego knowing that rintarou considered you beautiful enough store photos of you in your worse states. but, being the usual worrywart, you couldn’t help but think of possible hackers.

what if they hacked rintarou’s phone?

oh my god, what if they post your pictures and videos?

sell them? that was even worse, possible old perverts would be wacking to them.

you shudder.

“bothersome?” you can’t meet his eyes, knowing what his tone meant. “but you were begging me to take those pictures and videos, baby?”

“i...was not.” your face became flustered, you don’t remember that. but, you are most likely half brain dead whenever he decided to fuck you silly.

“oh?” he’s up then, standing in front you. “you’re not?” the brightness of his phone is a bit blinding, and as your eyes adjust, you can see perfectly as the video plays before you.

the lewd sounds bursting through the speakers, the way your bodies move together is nearly hypnotic, your voice begging for more, for everything.

you look away, but before you did, you see multiple notifications from a group chat coming in. you didn’t register it.

“just delete them, or, or, print them out!”

his fingers turn your jaw, causing you to gaze up into his eyes. they’re narrowed, glowering at you. “but, you can’t print out videos, those are the best.”

your teeth grit, forcibly jerking your head away from his grip. “just delete them, suna rintarou! i won’t have my nudes plastering around the internet.” and with that demand, you turn on your heels and walk away.

which was definitely not your smartest idea. you knew how rintarou was, you knew how quick his moods could change, and how quick he could have you bent and choking on his cock.

you could only freeze when you feel his fingers slither around the roots of your hair, a yelp leaving your lips when he yank harshly, sending you trembling back into his embrace. his other hand came up, wrapping around your throat in loose hold.

“watch your tone, whore.” he whispered against your ear, his warm breath sending shivers down your spine. “you wanted those videos, you wanted those pictures.”

“i-i didn’t—”

“hm, you did. you begged for them like the good little slut you are,” his hand tightened around your neck. “you wanted them, yes or no?”

you breath in heavily, eyes watering. “no.”

“wrong answer.”

“rin-rintarou!” you squeal lightly when you’re suddenly thrown over his shoulder, the tall male practically kicking the bedroom door open, dropping you onto the bed and ordering you to stay put.

you could only watch as he closed the door before stalking towards you, something deep within his eyes that you couldn’t began to understand.

you only blinked and found yourself being dragged forward by your neck, forced onto your knees on the edge of the bed, rintarou glares down into your eyes.

shuddering, you open your mouth to say something, but is cut off by rintarou. “shut your fucking mouth, bitch.” your mouth closed immediately, brows furrowing before relaxing just as quick when he slotted his mouth against yours.

the kiss becoming messy quickly, your salvia mixing with his, teeth and tongues clashing. his hand loosen around your neck, both large hands coming down on your ass with a smack, enclosing around the fleshly meat tightly. you groan in appreciation, sticking your bottom further out.

your arms circle around his neck, pulling him closer to your body, your silk clad breast pressing against his bare chest. his teeth clamp onto your bottom lip, pulling softly before his tongue slips between his teeth and entangle with yours.

his hands knead and pull at your ass, smacking them a few times before sliding up your sides, hands latching onto your breasts. you hum, leaning back and giving him room to play around with your erect nipples.

his mouth leaves yours, “fucking slut, you’re enjoying this too much.” his words are warm against your cheek. “i can change that.” you can’t, you wanted to say. he wasn’t the best at giving out punishments, not when he, himself, enjoys fucking you a bit too much.

his lips trail down your cheek and jawline, before instantly attacking your neck with a sharp bite, you gasp and try to push him away, but just as quick as he bit, he was pulling away and giving soft licks to soothe over the harsh imprint.

“r-rintarou...” you whisper brokenly, the pain and pleasure mixing.

the taller pulled back fully, eyeing the teeth mark on your neck, humming in pride at his mark against your smooth skin.

“on your back.” his tone was rough, promising actual pain if you didn’t listen. so, you could only do as told, laying on your back and keeping your legs closed. his hands came down, spreading your legs and landing sharp slaps against both of them. you yelp, trying to close them, but he quickly slotted himself between them.

his phone is presented, his eyes staring deep into yours. “record.”

“n-no,” you deny, shaking your head.

he raised a brow, “now.” he ordered.

you gulp and take the phone, clicking onto the camera icon and sliding over to record.

rintarou smirked at you, leaving you breathless at the sudden heated stare, he’s fingers were pushing your panties away, blowing onto your heated cunt, your thighs tensing.

then, he’s devouring you. and your hands shake as the pleasure crawls from your core, extending through your legs and curling around yours toes, and your thumb accidentally pressed record and the ding sounds around the room.

your whimpers are already filling the room, free hand coming down and tangling through rintarou’s messy locks. his hands are tight around your thighs, squeezing and pushing them closer around his head, locking him in.

“ngh-ah!” your toes are curling, hand gripping tighter at his hair as you could feel yourself growing closer by the second. rintarou eating you out was always a blessing and a curse, he knew which parts of your cunt to fiddle around at to make you quickly.

he pulled back then, the camera catching the glistening of your arousal, coating his mouth and his chin, and the obvious satisfaction in his hooded eyes was daunting.

he wasn’t satisfied because he had you whimpering.

he wasn’t satisfied that he could make you cum almost immediately.

no, he was satisfied because he got you to record. he’s satisfied, and he smirked so devilishly at the camera that you nearly drop the device.

in a swiftness, he has the camera pointing in your direction. and you hide your face, not wishing for the camera to catch your already winded look.

he laughed, unbuckling his belt and his pants fall to the floor, he worked around like a pro, easily moving his briefs down. he steps out of his pants and briefs, and dragging you closer to the edge of the bed.

“look at the camera, [y/n]~” he teased, but you could hear the underlying threat. you shake your head. “don’t be shy, baby.” the tone sounded loving, but you could hear the threat.

look or suffer the consequences.

you move your head, revealing your flustered expression. behind the phone, rintarou grinned almost predatory.

the phone tilted, showing your body, still clad in your silky nightgown. the silk bunched around your waist, and you try to close your legs, but a single glance around the phone and you’re spreading your legs.

he crouched then, showing the camera your wet, dripping cunt. his fingers appearing, spreading your puffy lips. “so pretty.” he muttered, then his eyes are meeting yours. “i’m going to ruin you.” he said the magic words that would always send jolts of pleasure down your spine.

your eyes flutter, and you nodded eagerly. the phone in his hands long forgotten.

the next few moments are hazy, his imposing figure looming over you, legs hiking up around his waist, and you could only snap your eyes wide when he’s fully sheathed inside you.

“hm, b-big!” you sob, a few tears slipping from your eyes. no matter how many times you’ve taken him, he sheer size and girth will always leave you crying. your sob turns into moans of pleasure when rintarou began to move his hips, the pace slow and a bit tantalizing.

“you take me so well, pup.” you keen loudly at the name, eyes rolling. you can practically hear the smirk in his voice. “you’re a good puppy, huh?”

“y-yes, ‘m good,” you whine, hands clutching the sheets beside you.

you could feel the flutters in your stomach each time rintarou slowly dragged his cock out, only to push back in roughly and repeat the process. he was teasing you now, wanting you to turn into a whining, begging mess, and more importantly, he wanted to catch all on camera.

the lewd wet sounds were only growing by the second, the burning feeling surrounding your cunt causing more arousal to gush out.

your eyes flutter open, and for a small moment, you wish you hadn’t. the camera was pointed directly were you two joined together, catching the way his cock plunged into you, the way your cunt stretched around him, and the fucking wet sounds emitting.

you whine loud in the back of your throat, throwing your head back onto the pillow. the humiliation and embarrassment slowly enclosing you in its hands, yet it only burned like fire and your body felt too incredibly hot.

you almost felt delirious, the camera, his cock, the temperature around the room, the fucking silk gown clinging to you.

“rin — ngh, f-fuck!” you could barley get any words out, eyes hooded and mouth dropping open. the pace was too slow, too hot, you wanted to say something, tell him to go faster, but the small ounce of pride you had left kept those words locked up.

you wouldn’t beg.

you look up suddenly, whining when noticing him taking a step back and crouching down. you wanted to close your legs, but his shoulders were already there and his fingers were spreading your puffy lips apart, revealing your sopping cunt.

“looks so good, pretty girl,” rintarou groaned lowly. “who’s cock got you this wet?” looking to your left, you mumbled the answer. a sharp slap sounded, the pain in your thigh sending another gush of arousal and you moan prettily. “speak up, pup.”

“yours did, rin!”

rintarou hummed, rubbing your thigh as to soothe the pain. “my cock is the only one that gets you this wet, right?”

“y-yes!” you shudder.

you can practically feel his smirk as he asked the next question. “you want my cock in you?”

“rin!” you whine, tears of frustration forming.

“answer the question.” he was full on grinning now, watching your reaction over his phone.

“yes, i want your cock in me.”

“beg for it,” you could practically mouth the words with him. he was getting a bit predictable.

you wouldn’t beg, you reminded yourself. no matter how much you wanted his — he stood up, drawing your attention to his erect cock, and suddenly your mouth was opening.

“i... rin, fuck me,” you whine. “i need your cock in me, please.” if there was one thing you hated the most, it was begging.

dumb bitch, you weren’t supposed to beg! you insulted yourself, fucking dick whipped seriously.

the phone lowered from rintarou’s face, revealing the dark look in his eyes. the satisfied smirk. he shut his phone off, grabbing his pants and disappearing into the bathroom.

your eyes widen then, he had gotten what wanted. you stand up immediately, rushing after him into the bathroom.

“rintarou!” you enter the bathroom, seeing the male standing before the glass shower. one look over his shoulder, and you only gasp in horror.

Talk Shit Get Hit Bitch 😎🤏🤬 | 200+ unread messages

foxbutmakeitsexy is online...

bestest twin : suna u little shit!

jinbutwithouttheg : not u suddenly appearing from the dead

best twin : 😎🤏🙄 and where have u been?

foxbutmakeitsexy : 😏

jinbutwithouttheg : i dont like that face

bestest twin : is that suna?

best twin : hol up smth aint right

foxbutmakeitsexy has sent a video...

jinbutwithouttheg : oh...

bestest twin : 😎🤏😌 ive been blessed ✨

best twin : 🤭 not me finna ask for a threesome

jinbutwithouttheg : miss y/n girl... whew

foxbutmakeitsexy : i was busy 🙄

note — i am disgust 😎🤏😭 i rlly left yall without an orgasm. my sincerest apologies, but miss y/n girl, u got a bad boyfriend.

[marmosa]

it takes two.

Fred Weasley x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: a little 18+ humor at a point, but it’s pretty low-key. 

A/N: this had some anti-olives discourse and i’m not sorry about it olives r fcking nasty. also [y/n]’s smell is daisy love by marc jacobs for reference, it’s a perfume i really like but i was like there is no way anyone knows what a fucking cloudberry is, so next time you’re at sephora or sumthin go get a whiff of it, it’s lovely. anywho hope you guys like it, i had tons of fun writing the banter in this one, hope it turned out as nice as i thought :) p.s i didn’t proof read this so sorry in advance <3

***

[y/n] hated potions. She hated it more than anything else on this planet and that was saying something considering olives were literally out there existing. Potions shouldn’t have been such a hard class for her, not when she had no problem in her other classes, and certainly not when all it included was following a damned recipe.

Which explained why she wanted to drive a dagger through her skull when Professor Snape announced they’d be spending the next few days preparing to brew amortentia. Not only was the romantic part of it so nerve wracking it made the entire class nauseous, but the prospect of messing it up and not smelling anything at all was even worse (for those who cared, at least).

“You’re dismissed. Make sure to study up on the potion before hand or you’ll sorely regret it,” Snape called out to the class in that tone of his voice that sounded like rancid milk. Was it mentioned that [y/n] also hated Snape? Yeah that too.

As [y/n] packed up her things, she felt a tap on her shoulder, “Speak of the devil.”

“I’m not the devil, I know you lot think ginger’s are evil, but I can assure you I am no devil,” Fred shook his head displeasingly, crossing his arms and leaning back against her desk, “Also, what a way to great someone, sheesh woman, you’d think you’d be more excited to see me.”

“Okay, firstly, there was no need for that whole spiel,” [y/n] held her hands up defensively, “Secondly, I only said that because I was just thinking about you before you arrived.”

Fred rolled his eyes at her back-tracking, but smiled smugly none-the-less, “Aww you were thinking of me? Nothing too naughty I hope,” he winked.

[y/n] flipped her bag shut and looked up at him with a deadpan expression, reaching up and punching his shoulder, ��you wish, Weasley. The only naughty thing I’d be caught doing with you is tying you up to turn you in to the police.”

“Tying me up? Didn’t take you as the type for that sort of thing,” Fred grinned, biting back another remark as he watched her groan in annoyance but refuse to make eye contact with him, “but honestly, what were you thinking about?”

“Well,” [y/n] began, pulling at his sleeve to get him to follow her out of class, “You know we have this amortentia potion coming up and I’m doing shit in this class, but I was thinking you could help me study since you have a track record of being good in this class?”

“Hmm,” Fred pondered the offer, shrugging, “what’s in it for me?”

“You get to spend time with me?” [y/n] smiled sweetly, batting her eyelashes dramatically to emphasize the effect.

“That’s a shit deal,” Fred chuckled, raising his brows with a small grin at [y/n]’s frown.

“Yeah, it is,” [y/n] sighed, an idea popping into her head, “but if I brewed it successfully you’d get to find out who I fancy, I know you’ve been poking around there because you’re an nosy git who won’t leave me alone about it.”

Fred scoffed in mock offense, tilting his head to the side, “Rude, but not false. Y’know, that does spice up the offer, but what’s stopping me from just finding out by having you smell someone else’s brew? And who’s to say I’m gonna know who smells like that anyway?”

“You’re so difficult,” [y/n] groaned, sinking her shoulders, “you know what, just forget it. I’ll go bother George or something, y’know the better twin.”

Fred’s smile fell as he screwed his features together, ”Excuse me? You’ve got some nerve you little-,”

“I don’t-woah!” [y/n] yelped as Fred tackled her to the side of the empty hall, trapping her against the wall, his hand planted to the side of her head and his other arm situated above her head.

“Take it back,” Fred demanded, giving her a once over, amused at the way she silently reeled over the position she’d just been put into.

“And why should I?” [y/n] snapped back, staring right back at him as soon as she’d gotten her bearings.

“Take it back,” Fred repeated simply, his voice low as he tried to coax his desired response out of her.

“Again, why should I?” [y/n] hummed, relaxing against the wall and looking at him with a sly smile.

Fred rolled his eyes and straightened himself back up, pushing his hair out of his face with one hand, “you’re no fun, you know exactly why.”

“No I don’t,” [y/n] continued, chimed in amusement, “do you think George isn’t as good as you?”

“Now don’t you go putting words in my mouth,” Fred snipped, “you know just as well as I do that’s not true.”

“I don’t know, maybe it is, maybe it isn’t,” [y/n] shrugged, biting back a laugh at Fred’s less than amused expression, “I’ll cut you a deal. You help me with potions and I don’t tell George your dirty little secret.”

“That’s not-,” Fred groaned, his argumentative spirit draining out of his body as his will to spend time with her won out, “Fine. But if you ever tell a lie like that to George, I’ll feel no remorse telling everyone and their mother that you like being tied up for fun.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” [y/n] hissed, narrowing her eyes at him.

“What? It’s not like it’s true,” Fred teased, his smirk falling when she remained silent, “No way, [y/n] that’s got to be a lie.”

“So what if it isn’t? You’ll never know,” [y/n] giggled, biting back a smile.

“Now wait a minute-,” Fred began, startled at this random piece of questionable information, but was cut off as they arrived at [y/n]’s class.

“It was lovely chatting with you, but I will have to see you later,” [y/n] hummed playfully, giving him a quick hug before darting into her classroom leaving a shocked Fred to himself, “bye Freddie!”

***

“Do you think Fred likes me?” [y/n] rolled onto her stomach and looked over at her friend expectantly, bumping her ankles together to distract her from the rapid beating of her heart.

Nadya tossed her books to the side and slid her legs off the side of her bed, leaning forward to try and be level with [y/n], “Are you really asking me that right now?”

“What!” [y/n] scoffed, pouting, “it’s an honest question!”

“Of all things holy,” Nadya groaned, burying her face in her hands, “Of course he likes you? You really asked him to be your homework helper and he said yes. Who in their right mind willingly studies for potions?”

[y/n] chewed on the inside of her cheek, nodding along, “You are absolutely correct. But like, if he doesn’t, isn’t it going to backfire on me when he realizes I smell him in the amortentia potion?”

“Bold of you to assume that any man knows what he smells like,” Nadya chuckled, “Remember in grade school when the boys would wear that atrocious body spray? It was ghastly.”

“Again, you’re absolutely correct. But Fred has like a distinct smell, it’s like camp fires, caramel, and fire-whiskey,” [y/n] sighed, letting herself bask in the though of how lovely he was, “it’s wonderful.”

“Kinda creepy that you know how specific it is,” Nadya pursed her lips and titled her head to the side to avoid [y/n]’s flat glare.

“Oh yeah because yesterday you totally weren’t telling me about Sam’s ‘absolutely magical eyes’, your words not mine,” [y/n] hummed, a smug smile drawing itself across her lips.

“You’re a twat,” Nadya snapped back, rolling her eyes, “back to you, aren’t you suppose to meet him in the library in like 5 minutes?”

[y/n] glanced over at the clock on her nightstand and nearly feel onto the floor running to get her stuff, “Shit! Why didn’t you say anything earlier?”

“Because you were too busy talking about what Fred smelled like,” Nadya deadpanned, taking her turn to smile smugly.

“I would wipe that stupid look off your face if I wasn’t running late,” [y/n] narrowed her eyes teasingly, grabbing her textbooks, “see you at dinner?”

“See you at dinner,” Nadya affirmed, waving goodbye.

***

“Took you long enough,” Fred lulled, leaning back in his seat.

“I’m surprised you were here on time, especially for something as boring as homework,” [y/n] replied, setting all her stuff down and sliding into the seat across from him.

Fred looked at her dumbly, wanting to snap back but not knowing how to without admitting he was just excited to see her, “Shut up. Correct me if I’m wrong, but you were the one who asked for my help?”

[y/n] leaned her cheek onto her balled up fist and exhaled deeply, “Touché. You’re a handful Weasley.”

“You love it though,” He hummed, wiggling his eyebrows.

“That I do,” [y/n] chuckled, kicking his ankles playfully under the table.

“Well, if you need my help it’s counter productive to do it across from me isn’t it? You don’t want to be swinging a book around over and over again,” Fred mentioned while flipping through his own textbook to find the lesson.

“That’s a good point,” [y/n] shrugged, pushing all her stuff to the other side of the table and switching her seat, glancing over at his book to note the page number, “Y’know, I actually really appreciate you helping me out.”

“Hey, it’s no problem, volunteer work is important after all,” Fred teased, quickly back-tracking when she stared back at him blankly, “Kidding! You know I’ll always make time for you,” he mumbled, reaching over and squeezing her shoulder reassuringly.

[y/n] rolled her eyes and pretended to fish around her bag so he wouldn’t notice the embarrassed look on her face, “Thanks. Same for you.”

Fred chuckled softly, leaning his cheek onto his fist to watch her silently, admiring the way she looked out of uniform in her favorite sweater and pair of jeans. She practically glowed in the low light of the library, her hands constantly pushing a fly away of hair out of her face, her face screwing up in an adorable sort of annoyance. He was smitten, no doubt about it, and honestly- he was okay with that.

“What’re you looking at?” [y/n] muttered, catching his unwavering stare.

“Nothing, you’ve just got an eyelash on your face,” Fred played it off nonchalantly, reaching forward and brushing off the imaginary eyelash.

[y/n] tried her absolute best not to combust right then and there, thanking him quietly before redirecting his attention to the work, “So, what do you say we start here? The measurements are rather odd, wouldn’t you say?”

Fred bit back a smile and nodded, amused at the loss of her fiery attitude, his heart thumping loudly against his chest.

“Yeah, they are.”

***

“Fuck!”

Nadya glanced up from the journal sitting in her lap, the pair of eyes she was sketching seemingly following along with her as she located [y/n] standing in front of the mirror, looking ready to fall apart.

“What’s all this about then?” Nadya inquired, cocking her head to the side.

“We’re making the potions today and it didn’t seem like a big deal two days ago but the anxiety has finally caught up to me and I feel truly sick,” [y/n] shuddered, jumping up and down in place to try and shake out her prickling nerves.

“I know you’re worried, but what are the chances of anyone knowing what that smell is? By the way you described it, it’s so painfully specific that only someone who’s known him for ages would know,” Nadya reassured her panicking friend, smiling softly.

“I know, but what if-,”

“If you keep talking yourself into believing it you’re gonna be miserable. Just breath, go do your best, and have fun. Nothing will go wrong,” Nadya explained calmly, knowing just how much of a busy-brain [y/n] could get.

“Ah, you’re right, I’m only gonna make myself feel worse. I’ll stop, thanks Nadya,” [y/n] padded over and gave her a quick hug, “see you at lunch?”

“See you at lunch,” Nadya nodded, waving her goodbye.

***

“You’ve all finished brewing your amortentia I presume,” Snape spoke in that nasally tone of his, glowering at the class.

The class replied with a cacophony of “yes’s”, the anxiety of each person literally rolling off the walls in waves. People who had a fancy in that class practically had a neon sign above their heads that said so, while those who didn’t sat back and relaxed in peace as they pondered their grade.

[y/n] glanced over at Fred who caught her gaze, passing her an enthusiastic thumbs up, which she returned happily despite the knots forming in her stomach.

“Well then, if you’re done, get into your groups and test it out. Remember if you smell nothing that it doesn’t mean you failed the potion, you must reference the check list of properties before coming to a conclusion,” Snape explained, folding his hands behind his back, “is that clear?”

The class responded with “yes’s” once more and in an instant the room was bustling as the groups got to smelling their potions to test out the initial effects. [y/n]’s group agreed that they’d go clock-wise, leaving her last to test out the potion.

“It smells like honey, baked goods, and lavender,” Charlie spoke up, his cheeks tinging red as he probably registered quite who the scent was probably related to.  

“That’s a lovely combination,” Dina nodded, leaning forward and taking a whiff of their own brew, “truly I can’t smell much but there is a faint note of citrus,” they shrugged.

[y/n] and Timothy exchanged knowing glances, a fancy probably developing in Dina’s life that they hadn’t quite registered yet.

“My turn,” Timothy exhaled, nodding stiffly as if to reassure himself as he smelled the potion. His eyes nearly popped out his head as he took a step back fanning his face slightly, “that has got to be the strongest smell of herbs I’ve ever smelled- he’s probably been spending extra time in the Green Room, that twat.”

The group broke into laughter as he gracefully excused himself to go stand outside to let the smell filter out of his nose. As soon as he’d left, the group look at [y/n] expectantly, all excited to hear what she smelled.

[y/n] swallowed thickly and leaned over her pot, her nerves finally spiking as she took a whiff of the brew. Her heart nearly stopped in her chest when she finally registered the smell, her face growing hot, as an embarrassed expression pulled itself onto her features- of course it was him.

“So, what did you smell?” Dina chirped enthusiastically, leaning against the table.

“Yeah [y/n], what did you smell?”

[y/n] felt her heart drop to her feet, her eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets and into the pot in front of her. Of course he was going to ask.

“You did promise you’d tell me,” Fred smirked, leaning against the table, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“That I did,” [y/n] chuckled awkwardly.

“I’ll cut you a deal this time. You tell me what you smelled and I’ll tell you what I did,” Fred offered, raising his brows to emphasize his tantalizing offer.

“Deal,” [y/n] nodded, rolling her shoulder a few times, “I smelled a camp fire, caramel, and fire whiskey.”

Charlie and Dina exchanged wide eyed glances, quietly agreeing that the smell was certainly unique and equally lovely before excusing themselves to go get a final grade from Snape.

“What a unique smell,” Fred hummed, eyeing her groupmates oddly “Guess I have to hold up my end of the bargain then. I couldn’t really tell you the specifics, but definitely berries, daisies, and driftwood.”

“That’s even more unique than mine, whoever you smelled sure does have a refined palette,” [y/n] giggled, calming down as she realized Fred had no clue who she was talking about with her own smell.

“She sure does. I think it’s her perfume or something, she wears it everyday so I recognized it almost immediately,” Fred chuckled, shrugging, “But fire whiskey, I truly wonder who that could be, you wouldn’t happen to be willing to tell me? Would you?” he bat his eyelashes innocently.

“In your dreams Weasley,” [y/n] huffed, shoving him playfully.

“Ouch, tough crowd,” Fred pouted, turning so his elbows were leaned onto the table behind him.

“You know I’m only keeping it from you for my own sanity,” [y/n] chuckled, reaching over and shaking his shoulder softly.

Fred chewed his bottom lip between his teeth, glancing in the opposite direction from her, his mind clouded with doubt, wondering who this mystery person could possibly be- praying to everything holy that there was even a possibility of it being him.

Unbeknownst to him,  [y/n]’s internal dialogue was practically doing the same thing trying desperately to put a person to the smell he describe but coming up empty, her heart sinking slightly while she admonished herself for getting her hopes up too fast.    

“Well, you know I’m not gonna give up until I find out. I’ll sniff everyone in our year if it means getting my answer,” Fred teased, winking at her.

“That’s so creepy, you’ll be lucky if you can even get close enough to smell your own brother,” [y/n] laughed, letting her head roll forward slightly.

“Whatever you say,” Fred hummed, shimmying his shoulders to a silent tune, “better go get that grade of yours then, we didn’t do all that studying for nothing.”

“We might’ve since you couldn’t tell who I smelled,” [y/n] bit back a laugh when Fred glared back at her.

“You’re a twat.”

“I know.”

***

“Nadya! My dearest darling companion to ever to walk this planet, do you happen to know anyone who smells like caramel and fire whiskey?” Fred asked, throwing his arms around the two girls.

Nadya nearly spilled her drink at Fred’s sudden appearance, which didn’t particularly go down well with her, “Fred if you scare us like that again I’m going to hex you so severely you’ll be stuck in the infirmary trying to figure out how to get your wand out of your arse.”

Fred’s face drained of all it’s color (if that was even possible, being as pale as he already was), “Sorry Nadya, my bad.”

[y/n] stifled a laugh, continuing to munch on her piece of chicken, ignoring Nadya’s side eye that practically screamed “handle your own boyfriend”.

“But back to your question, I can’t say that I do, who do you have in mind so far?” Nadya humored him, trying her best to give leeway to both her best friend and her best friend’s crush.

“Well, as [y/n] so wisely said, it’s too creepy to go around and sniff people, so I’m just going off of hunches. Oliver seems like a likely candidate and so does Casper, but I’m still not sure,” Fred sighed, obviously already impatient in his search.

Nadya glanced over at [y/n] who was all to comfortable pretending she wasn’t a part of the conversation, happily sipping at her cider.

“I’m not gonna say anything, you can search for as long as you’d like, I’m not budging,” [y/n] shook her head, smiling all too amused, patting Fred’s head patronizingly.  

“You’re no fun,” Fred pouted, huffing and standing back straight, dusting off the invisible dust on his robes, “Well since I’m not gonna get an answer out of either you, I’ll take my search elsewhere, see you around.”

“Bye Freddie,” [y/n] chirped, waving goodbye to him, “So you were right.”

Nadya broke into laughter, elbowing [y/n] playfully, “I told you! You got so worked up and he hasn’t even gotten close to an answer.”

“Casper, he really thinks I’d like Casper? He’s lovely and all but imagine having to sit through him telling you about how handsome he is? That sounds absolutely awful,” [y/n] shook her head, giggling at the thought.

“I truly think he’s just lying to himself at this point, there’s no way he’d be that dumb,” Nadya claimed, refiling her cup.

“I think so too, you know Fred though, he love’s a good challenge,” [y/n] shrugged, taking another bite of her chicken, “well have to see.”

***

“Okay, I think I’ve figured it out!”

[y/n] groaned and pressed her palms into her eyes, sinking as far as she could into the couch that she thought was tucked at the very back corner of the library, “please, it’s been nearly two days! You haven’t given it up yet?”

“Not at all, it’s fun, irritating, but fun,” Fred beamed, skipping over and plopping down next to her on the couch, “See I think I’ve narrowed the search down to these three guys.”

[y/n] glanced down at the small sheet of paper he held out to her and then back at him, a tired sag in her eyes as she felt guilt start to push against her chest. Maybe she was in the wrong for letting him run around and play a fruitless guessing game that she knew he would probably never get the answer to.

“I’m thinking if you give me another clue, I could zero it down to-,”

“It’s not them Fred.”

Fred fell quiet as [y/n] pushed his hand down, taking the paper and tossing it on the small table to her side, pushing his fingers into a small fist that she held gingerly, “It’s not anyone you’ve guessed.”

[y/n] sighed and swallowed her nerves, deciding it was now or never, that if she didn’t say something now she would be tormented by regret and Fred’s relentless guesses for the rest of her life.

“It’s no one you know because,” [y/n] looked away, literally incapable of meeting the wide inviting look he was giving her right then, “it’s you Fred. I like you.”

When she was met with silence, the rock finally started to settle at the pit of her stomach, her brows knitting together as she bit back her bubbling emotions. She tried to pull her hand back but had it quickly snatched back by Fred who had threaded their fingers together.

“I knew it,” He grinned, cupping her face with one hand and pulling her to him, his lips pressing against hers extremely gentle for how abrupt the kiss had been.

[y/n]’s eyes went wide before sinking shut, her free hand wrapping around the back of his neck and pulling him impossibly closer. They sat like that for a while, the quite chatter of the other students background noise to the gentle kisses they passed between one another, the pent up impatience and nervousness draining out of them with each and every kiss.

The two of them finally pulled away, a red hue fanned over Fred’s face, his freckles even more noticeable now that she was up this close.

“Shit, I didn’t ask permission to kiss you, did I?” Fred mumbled bumping his forehead against hers, squeezing their still intertwined hands.

“It’s okay, at least I kissed back, yeah?” [y/n] whispered, thumbing over the small scar on his cheek, probably from a quidditch match.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’ll be better about it though,” Fred promised, tilting his head to the side to press a soft kiss to her forehead.

“Me too,” [y/n] smiled, adoration practically rolling off of her in waves, “wait- what did you mean you knew it?”

Fred pulled back and sat up straight, his lips pressed together so tightly he was practically forcing all the blood out of them, “Well, I kind of already knew from the time your tablemates sort of left us alone in potions. I just wanted to hear you admit it.”

[y/n] felt her face fall, her mouth getting stuck open in an o shape, as she stared at him dumbly, “you’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Unfortunately no,” Fred giggled, placing both of his hands on the sides of her face, “don’t be mad at me?”

“I’m not mad, just disappointed in myself, that shit’s embarrassing for me!” [y/n] groaned, placing her hands on top of his.

“Well it all worked out in the end didn’t it?” Fred chimed, his lips stretching out into a grin.

“I suppose it did,” [y/n] hummed thoughtfully.

“Now the real question is how you didn’t know what your own perfume smelled like,” Fred quipped, immediately bouncing back to teasing her.

“Oh for god’s sake, do I look like I research perfume scents in my free time?” [y/n] scoffed.

“A little bit,” Fred muttered.

“You know what never mind, don’t you ever try to kiss me again,” [y/n] shoved him off her playfully, scooting all the way to the opposite end of the couch.

“Now don’t be like that,” Fred groaned, crawling over to her.

“Nuh uh, nope,” [y/n] shook her head, sticking out her legs in a feeble attempt to stop his advance.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, too late, come here.”

“I said no- fine! Fine, goodness gracious.”  

“Mhm, that’s what I thought, now give me another kiss before you have to go back to doing boring homework.”

“Fine.”  

[pucksnsticksnhockeyboys]

never isn’t an option - pt. 2

summary: you’re tired of hiding how you feel from Matthew, so you risk everything for chance at happiness.

warnings: none really, angst 

word count: 4.7k

note from the writer: here it is! this is the last part, and I'm super proud of how this whole thing turned out. make sure to take this survey to help me decide what to work on next!

read part one here

Three weeks. It had been three, miserable, weeks since you last saw Matt. It felt like an eternity, and you weren’t sure how you had managed to go so long without seeing him. He was your best friend, and he had made every attempt to reach out to you since then. Texts, snapchats, and even a phone call late one night. It was killing you to be so distant from him.

“So what’d you do to Chucky?”

Rasmus asked the question between shoveling fries in his mouth. He had practically dragged you out of your apartment, taking you to the hole-in-the wall diner down the street and ordering some very non-nutritionist approved food before you could get a word in. If it was under any other circumstances, you would have rolled your eyes at his lack of table manners. Instead, you shrugged your shoulders lamely and pushed your own fries around your plate.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You hummed quietly. He wasn’t talking about your failed attempt at confessing your feelings, you were sure of it, because you had gone over that with him at least four times since the incident.

“At first, he was moping because of the thing,” he started, and you were glad it didn’t outright announce what the thing was. Avoiding his gaze, he continued. “And then like a week ago he just got worse. He’s always in a mood now, and you can’t tell me you haven’t seen how sloppy he’s been on the ice.”

“I haven’t been watching the games.” The confession tumbled past your lips before you could stop them, and Rasmus gave you a pointed look. You rarely missed a game, even before you met Matt and fell in love and had your heart broken. “But I’ve been keeping track of scores, at least.”

“My point is, something must have happened to make things worse and I want to know what it is.” He continued before the conversation was completely derailed. You might have been hurting, but that didn’t stop you from caring for Matt unconditionally, so you thought for a minute about what had happened. If you were willing to be honest with yourself, you probably weren’t the most reliable source of information on Matt’s life anymore. It hurt, but you had been removed from him for three weeks. All except for—

“He called me a week and a half ago, late at night.” You offered, trying not to think about if you still were able to affect him so much. Sure, you were his best friend, but you ruined everything with the impulsive decision to confess your feelings.

“Well, what’d you talk about?” Rasmus asked as if the question was obvious. You shrugged, looking back down at your plate. He nudged you with his foot under the table, and you sighed while reluctantly meeting his concerned gaze.

“Nothing really, I told him I was on a date and—”

“You were what?” He interrupted, a little too loudly for the quiet diner but he completely missed the disgruntled look from the middle aged woman behind the counter as he waited for you to explain yourself expectantly. You groaned, dropping your head into your hands and propping your elbows up on the table. “Who were you on a date with? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I knew you’d freak out like this!” You exclaimed, waving a hand dramatically in his direction. “And it was with one of my friend’s coworkers, she made me go to try and get over Matt.”

“And you told him you were with another guy?” Rasmus asked dumbfoundedly and you nodded bashfully. He sighed, shaking his head at you and you felt as if you were in the principal's office after getting caught doing something you shouldn’t. But you were an adult, you could go out with anyone you wanted. “Wait, if Matt called you late, what were you still doing on a date?”

“Because,” you hesitated, flushing at having to confess what you were next to him. “I went back to his place to, you know, but then Matt called and I bailed right after.” Despite the situation, Rasmus laughed loudly, leaning back in his booth and you wondered where he found humor in the situation.

“So you didn’t even sleep with the guy?” He asked, grin on his face as you nodded sheepishly. You had been fully prepared to, having convinced yourself that not-quite rebound sex was a good idea, but you changed your mind upon hearing Matt’s voice. “Man, you’re so in love with him.”

“Shut up.” You groaned, no heat in your voice. “It doesn’t matter anyways, he doesn’t feel the same and I’m probably never going to see him again, so.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be his plus one to the charity event tomorrow?” The question had the blood draining from your face—you had completely forgotten. It was always assumed that you were Matt’s plus one to Flames events, and you’ve had the charity gala marked on your calendar for over a month.

“I doubt he wants to see me.” You tried to reason, but Rasmus shook his head. He grabbed your phone, and all you could do was watch as he unlocked it and opened your texts.

“That’s definitely not true, like, at all.” He teased, typing out a message for you. You practically jumped out of your seat once you realized just who he was sending a text to, but by the time you reached his side of the booth the message was sent and your fate was sealed.

“Did you really just text Matt—”

“Oh look, he’s already responded.” Rasmus sounded far too pleased with himself for your liking, but you ignored him entirely as you snatched your phone back that he had been dangling in your face. You read Rasmus’ text to Matt first, biting your lip in nerves. ‘You still want me to go to the charity thing with you, right?’ Matt’s response was simple, and came in near record time, but you forced yourself not to think too much into his ‘of course I do’ because you knew that was exactly how you’d break your heart all over again.

You glanced up from your phone and met Rasmus’ smug grin, smile toying with the corners of your lips no matter how badly you wanted to frown at him. His simple sentence was enough to set off a parade of butterflies inside you, but you forced yourself to remember that he didn’t feel the same.

“This doesn’t mean anything.”

Time seemed to pass before your eyes, because before you got the chance to properly breathe and process what exactly entailed a night of being Matthew’s plus one while avoiding thinking about your unreciprocated feelings, he was knocking at your apartment door to pick you up.

You counted to three before opening, both to ground yourself and make it seem as if you hadn't been anxiously waiting for him. Even still, you weren’t ready for how breathtakingly handsome he looked. He was dressed in your favorite suit of his—you were certain he knew it was your favorite, you made a point to tell him that each time he wore it for games—and his hair was put together in a way that seemed effortless.

“Hi.” You breathed quietly, having to be the first to break the silence. He was still taking you in, his gaze raking up and down your figure in the outfit you had picked out weeks before. Like nothing changed, you felt a shiver run down your spine under his gaze.

“You look, wow.” He spoke, a reverence to his voice that had your heart beating faster. You knew being his plus one would be a challenge, but he was making it incredibly hard for you to focus on being just friends with him while he looked at you like that.

“You clean up nice yourself, Mr. Tkachuk.” You told him, the teasing a ghost of your past relationship with him you hoped would transfer to your new role as someone that he rejected. He chuckled, and you decided that maybe things wouldn’t have to change as much as you thought they would.

“Anything for you.” He hummed, and then like he hadn’t said that, he offered you his hand. You took it on instinct, slipping your hand in his and allowing him to pull you out of your apartment and into the elevator. Matt had ordered a car for the night, the same as he always did, and you smiled politely as he opened the door for you.

Even when you were both in the back of the car together, he slipped his hand back in yours, moving it into his lap so he could play with your fingers. You watched him carefully, wondering if he knew how much of an effect he had on you and he was doing it on purpose or if he was trying to make your friendship as normal as possible. You weren’t sure which one you preferred more.

You also wondered how long you’d be able to keep this up. How long you’d be able to stand by his side and pretend that you were perfectly fine with being nothing more than Matt’s friend. You were certain that if you had to sit by one more time and watch him flirt with someone else you’d be physically sick.

Small talk was made to fill the silence, but beneath that you could feel that there was something unsaid, something holding Matt back from being fully present with you. It hurt you to think that maybe that something holding him back was you and what you had said, but you knew you couldn’t have gone on much longer just pining away.

You just wished that Rasmus had been right about how Matt felt.

It didn’t take long for you to run into the other guys once in the venue for the charity gala, especially not with Matt leading you around with his hand dangerously low on the small of your back. You pretended to ignore the smug look Rasmus sent you as you greeted David with a hug, and after pleasantries were exchanged you found yourself tucked back into Matt’s side. You were chatting with one of the guys’ dates—you couldn’t remember who she came with, considering Matt’s touch was dizzying—when she asked you the one question you had been hoping to avoid all night.

“So are you guys together?”

She meant no harm by it, and you couldn’t blame her for asking, considering the fact that Matt had barely let you out of arm's reach since you arrived, but your smile still fell from your face. You saw recognition cross her face, knowing she must have realized that her assumption was incorrect, and you schooled your features into a polite and totally fake smile as she started sputtering out apologies.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” You assured her, but she still looked horrified. You sympathized, you remembered how terrifying it was to first meet all the guys’ significant others for the first time—even though you were not one of the guys’ significant others, if the past few weeks taught you anything.

Her date came then to rescue her, Sam grinning at you as if he knew something you didn’t. You made a mental note to grill him about the new girl he was seeing and didn’t tell you about, but suddenly it was just you and Matt left standing by the bar. You turned to face him, only to find he was already watching you with a look that was a little too close to admiration for your liking.

“Have I told you how good you look?” He murmured, one hand falling to your hip as if he couldn’t help himself. You wanted to be mad. You wanted to scold him for toying with you despite knowing your feelings. But you couldn’t. Instead, you welcomed his touch and gave him a bright smile only he ever seemed to be able to drag out of you.

“Wouldn’t hurt to hear it again.” You mused playfully, distantly wondering just when it became so easy to talk to some that knew your feelings and didn’t reciprocate them. Matt chuckled at your comment, the sound lifting your heart momentarily.

“I’ll tell you that for the rest of my life.”

And that… felt way too much like something that it clearly wasn’t. Too much like a promise of forever that he couldn’t give you. That he wasn’t willing to give you.

Your smile faltered then, and Matt must have seen it because his did too and suddenly you were both looking at each with looks too somber for the mood of the gala going on around you. You hated it for a multitude of reasons, but the one that struck you the most was that no matter how normal things seemed, you being his plus one and hanging out with his teammates, things would never truly be normal. Your confession ruined things permanently with him, and you’d have to suffer the consequences.

Matt opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, but someone in an official looking suit approached and stole Matt’s attention from you. Even after the man said he needed to talk business with Matt, it took a second for him to look away from you, like it pained him to take his gaze off of you.

“Can we talk for a minute, Mr. Tkachuk?” The man asked, though you knew before he said anything he’d be pulling Matt away from you. Matt nodded politely, knowing he’d have to leave and go charm the rich guys. It was a charity gala, after all.

Before he left, though, he turned to you once more and bent down so he was level with your ear, lips brushing against your skin at his proximity and you felt a shiver run down your spine. It was quickly replaced with an ache in your chest, knowing that no matter how much you wanted to kiss him, it simply wasn’t in the card for you.

“Nate’s a lucky guy.” He whispered, breath blowing against your ear and you had to actively force yourself to not shut your eyes. He pulled back almost immediately, a grin much sadder than his previous business smile having found a home on his handsome face. He left you, then, confused about what he meant.

It took a moment, but you realized that he was talking about Nick, the guy you had gone on one date with. You rolled your eyes, knowing he mixed up the names on purpose—he did the same with your ex boyfriend, the one you had been dating when you became friends with the Flames. Matt made a point to call him by a different variation of his name each time, and by the end of the relationship, Kyle and somehow managed to change to Liam.

Before, you had held onto the hope that he did it because he was jealous. Now there wasn’t an excuse for his behavior. You doubted that he forgot, but at this point it made more sense to you than jealousy being the cause.

You weren’t alone long before Johnny joined you, leaning against the bar with a look you had seen several times before. Usually, though, it wasn’t directed at you.

“You went on date with someone?” He bypassed pleasantries, and you weren’t surprised, given the exasperated look on his face.

“Who told you, Rasmus or Matt?” You sighed, smiling politely at the bartender who placed in front of you the drink you had ordered soon after Matt left.

“Rasmus did. Matt hasn’t talked about you since he told me he loved you.” He sounded so sure of his words, like it was a fact such as the sky was blue and grass was green and Matthew loved you. But it wasn’t that simple, and you set the glass in your hand down on the counter, suddenly losing your desire for it.

“That’s… no, Johnny. He doesn’t.” You shook your head, focusing on everything, anything, but Johnny.

“He does, and so do you, so just talk to each other.” He sounded tired, and you wondered if he’d given this speech before. You wondered if he gave this speech to Matt, because you surely weren’t the only one in this situation that needed to be lectured. But then again, you knew firsthand how stubborn Matt could be.

“Look, he made it very clear that he didn’t feel the same. So I’m going to just be his friend, and that’s fine.” It certainly wasn’t fine, but you weren’t about to tell Johnny that. Not when you wanted nothing more than the conversation to be over.

“You two are ridiculous.” Johnny huffed, but then it was his turn to be swept off to sweet talk donors, and you gave him a tight smile as he left.

When Matt found you again later than evening, you were in a considerably worse mood than when he left. You were tired of hearing about how he loved you when just only three weeks prior you had left his apartment broken hearted. You weren’t mad at Johnny, you were certain you could never be mad at him, but the entire situation had you annoyed. Not even a light conversation with the wives and girlfriends of other players could fix your sour mood, so you barely paid Matt any attention when he slipped into the free seat next to you at one of the many tables set up in the ballroom.

Your phone was sitting innocently on top of the table, having been discarded there the moment you sat down and engaged Brodie’s wife in conversation. It buzzed halfway through an anecdote about the last roadie, and you picked it up to see you had a text.

“Is that from Nash?” Matt whispered in your ear, voice quiet so no one else at the table could hear. You shot him a pointed look, knowing who he was referring to. He misinterpreted your silence as a question, and you watched as a slight pout found its way onto his face. “That guy you went on a date with.”

“That’s Nick, and this is my mom.” You held up your phone, flashing him the screen so he saw that the name at the top of the conversation was not Nick or Nate or Nash or any other guy. “So try again, Matthew.”

“Wait, are you mad at me?” For a second, you could have sworn you saw a happy look in his eyes. It left as soon as he realized you called him by his full name and not any of the nicknames he was so accustomed to.

“I’m not talking about this here.” You whispered harshly, turning back to the table with the full intention of listening to whichever of the wives had taken over storytelling duty. You knew you were being short with Matt, but your conversation with Johnny had left a sour taste on your tongue and a heavy weight in your chest.

“Fine.” Matt replied, and you stupidly thought that would be the end of the discussion until the end of the night. But you should have known better, should have known Matthew better, because suddenly he was taking a hold of your hand and pulling you up and out of your chair.

“Matt, what—” You started, but he wasn’t even looking at you. He was facing the table of concerned wives and girlfriends, all of them trying to figure out what was going on between you and Matt. All of them except for Johnny’s girlfriend, who was grinning like the cat that got the canary.

“We’re heading out, tell the boys I left.” He told them, and you barely got the chance to say goodbye before Matt was leading you out of the venue, handing out excuses over his shoulder to men in suits you knew for a fact he was supposed to be stopping and talking to. One man jumped in front of Matt to stop him, and Matt stopped so abruptly you nearly crashed into him.

“Matthew, do you have a minute to talk about your point predictions this season?” The man asked as a mere formality. If his appearance told you anything, it was that he was one of the rich donors Matt was supposed to charm for the evening.

“I can’t, sir, my girlfriend isn’t feeling well and I’ve got to take her home.” Matt lied easily, though it didn’t seem much like a lie with the way your face paled at the fake title he gave you in order to get out of the situation. It wasn’t the first time he’d pretended to be your boyfriend, he’d done it a dozen and one times while out at bars and clubs to get random guys to stop talking to you. But it carried a different weight now, now that he knew how you felt and now that you had been rejected by him.

“Ah, well, you better get her home.” The man said, but you barely registered it. Your stomach was in knots and your lips were pursed into a tight line, and even in the car on the way back to your apartment you didn’t say a word. Matt kept his hand in yours, though, and you were certain that the only thing keeping you grounded at the moment was his thumb brushing comfortingly over the back of your hand.

You led the way into your apartment and left Matthew to shut the door as you changed into a pair of sleep shorts and a baggy sweatshirt you were certain was probably his. He had already made himself comfortable on your couch, his suit jacket tossed over the back of your arm chair. He had loosened his tie and it was clear that he had been running his hands through his hair, and he looked entirely like the boyfriend you wanted but couldn't have.

You waited for him to speak first, making a point to scroll through your phone instead of meeting his gaze that fell heavy on you. If he was going to drag you out of the gala, then he was going to have to explain why. He cleared his throat after minute five of nothing but tense silence in your living room.

“Rasmus told me that you bailed on your date after I called.”

Of course he did, you thought, making a mental note to lecture the defenseman about keeping secrets the next time you saw him. You didn’t look at Matt as you nodded, but you did turn off your phone and drop it into your lap.

“Good, that’s—yeah, good.” He nodded to himself, and something inside you snapped. Your brows tugged together like you were trying to solve something complex and annoyance bubbled up in your chest.

“I tell you how I feel and you let me down, so I move on.” You started, voice firm despite the fact you felt your resolve breaking down. You had assumed that you’d go on to live the rest of your life never addressing what happened at Matthew’s, but now you were bringing it all back up. “I go on a blind date and you get annoyed. If we can’t be friends anymore then just tell me because I can—”

“I love you.” Matt interrupted, rushing to assure you that not having you in his life was something he absolutely did not want.

“I—what?” You stopped, feeling your heart stop and blood freeze. That was the exact last thing you expected to hear him say, and who could really blame you, considering the way things ended the last time you talked about your feelings with him. “No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do.” He hurried to correct you. Your look of confusion only deepened, a frown etched into your face as you tried to figure out what angle Matt was working. He shifted from his spot on the opposite end of your couch to directly beside you. “Johnny knocked some sense into me the other day.”

“What day?” You asked slowly and quietly. You knew Matt would never do anything to hurt you and pretending to love you the way you loved him would certainly count as hurting you, but the instant trust wasn’t there. You were protecting yourself, slowly opening up instead of immediately jumping into his arms.

“Twenty minutes before I called you when you were on your date with Noah.”

“Nate.” You corrected, sounding a little too winded for having just been sitting on the couch. But Matt had an effect on you and you were certain he always would.

“Nick, but nice try.” Matt smirked and it was then that you realized you had screwed up your own date’s name. You didn’t care in the slightest about Noah or Nate or Nash or whoever he was, because Matt was sitting before you and Matt was offering you his heart.

“You really love me?” You asked, teetering on the edge of giving into Matt. You saw something akin to heartbreak flash in his eyes, a result of you even questioning his love. He nodded, then, slowly and calmly and you were certain that was the only time you had even seen Matt do something slowly and calmly. “Then do something about it, please.”

He wasted no time then in connecting his lips to yours in a kiss so long awaited the entire world slipped away in an instant. Before, Matt was overt in his affection, kisses pressed to your cheeks and forehead and hands and shoulders—anywhere but your lips. You’d always had an idea of what Matt’s lips on yours would feel like, but nothing could have prepared you for the feeling of being kissed so soundly by the love of your life—of being kissed by Matt.

It could have been ten seconds or ten minutes, but you felt breathless by the time Matt pulled back. He was grinning from ear to ear, a look you were certain was mirrored on your face. No words were shared, at first, and he brushed a strand of hair out of your face in an act so tender and so intimate you felt yourself falling for him all over again.

“Was that good enough?” Matt teased, and despite that fact that you rolled your eyes you chased after his lips for another kiss. He hummed in content against you, which elicited a giggle from you and soon you were both in a fit of laughter on your couch for no good reason other than the fact that you were two idiots in love.

“So Johnny talked to you, huh?” You questioned, catching your breath. Matt rolled his eyes, clearly remembering how Johnny told him to get his shit together. He replied with a nod, wrapping an arm around your shoulders to pull you closer to him.

“Told me that I loved you, made me realize I’m an idiot.” He explained, a lightness in his voice as he admired you openly. You had his undivided attention, a fact that made your heart soar.

“You kinda were an idiot.” You teased, earning no argument and a laugh from him. You couldn’t help yourself, then, leaning up to press a kiss to the corner of his lips. He didn’t let you retreat far, chasing after your lips for a series of short and sweet kisses. Finally, after what could have been an eternity later, you parted and dropped your head against his shoulders.

“I’m sorry I let you walk away.” He told you sadly, his tone serious and sentence punctuated by kisses pressed to the top of your head. His somber mood should have transferred to you, but you were riding the high of being loved by him so wholly you felt it to the tips of your toes.

“As long as you never do it again.” You told him. You were smiling, certain that you wouldn't be able to stop smiling for the next few weeks. And, slowly, the expression was mirrored on Matt’s face and nothing but honesty flooded his crystal blue eyes as he spoke next.

“Never.”

Never, for Matthew, was the only option.

[emsylcatac]

A little push

Summary:

Alya asks Chat Noir to record a video of himself encouraging Marinette to confess...to Adrien.

Of course his mouth speaks on its own. Of course he says yes.

Of course his Lady is most likely sure to kill him.

...And of course Marinette feels like she's the one who's about to die.

Read it on AO3

Happy (very late) birthday to @janaikam ♥

I hope you’ll like this post-reveal pre-relationship fic!

A big thank you to Bren, Lisa & Alizeh for beta-reading this you’re all amazing!

* * * * *

“Pound it!”

Adrien looked into Marinette’s eyes as he said it and she did the same, giving him that soft smile of hers that never failed to make him feel better. They lingered a few seconds with their fists touching, searching each other’s eyes knowingly.

Even though it had been months since they’d discovered each other’s identities, they couldn’t help but share a special glance that said, ‘I know who you are now’.

They disconnected their fists and turned towards the victim of the day—a woman in her thirties—who was slowly gathering her bearings. Marinette walked towards her and helped her stand up, offering words of reassurance.

Adrien watched her fondly before joining her and giving the woman a pep talk himself, until she left, thanking them once again.

“Well, Kitty, we did good today, eh?” Marinette said, nudging him with her elbow.

Adrien laughed. “Of course we did, we’re unstoppable! But I think you should go, you’re about to detransform soon,” he winked.

“Olala, I should hurry! Wouldn’t want you to find out my oh-so secret identity super top secret!”

They both giggled, Adrien shaking his head. “I’ll see you in class on Monday,” she whispered, and dropped a kiss on his cheek before flying away.

He touched his cheek and stared at her retreating form. He was about to let yet one of his all too recurrent lovesick sigh when a voice called out to him.

“Pssst, Chat Noir!”

He turned his head, only to be met by Alya’s grinning face and waving hand. He beamed at her, noting that he still had enough time left if she wanted a small interview.

“Well well well, if that isn’t our ever-so always intrepid Ladyblogger!”

Alya took that as a sign that she could come and talk to him, laughing all the way.

“Please, call me Miss Ladyblogger, The Most Intrepid And Greatest Reporter Of All Time, and not to brag, also personal favourite citizen of our local heroes themselves, between you and me.”

“Oh, my bad,” Adrien chuckled. “What do you need of me? An interview? A selfie featuring my best winning smile? Or,” he dropped his voice conspiratorially, a hand around his mouth, “pictures of Ladybug falling in the fountain because she was scared of…a ladybug?”

Alya laughed. “Actually, I had a favour to ask from you, but if these pictures are still on the table… how much would you want for them?”

Adrien winked. “Give me a croissant and I’m your cat, if you don’t tell Ladybug about your sources, of course.”

She smirked. “Of course. It’s a deal. I’ll have your croissant same time, same place tomorrow.”

“Lovely. Now what was it you needed of me, before my time is up?”

“Oh. So this is gonna sound really weird but...Okay. So my best friend is a fan of yours; her name’s Marinette, I don’t know if you’ve heard of her?”

Adrien bit back a laugh and tapped his bell. “Rings a bell, must have met her once or twice. Admirable citizen, just like you!”

“Why, thank you,” she said, falsely flattered. “Well. So Marinette is trying to hype herself up to confess to the boy she loves—”

Oh.

“—but she’s always had troubles, you know? Except now she told me that she really wanted to do it, and I’m so proud of her! She has been in love with our friend Adrien for so long now—”

OH.

Adrien’s brain short-circuited after that, and Alya was talking, and probably saying very interesting things, but what was it about Marinette loving him?!

“—So, could you do that? It would really mean a lot to her! ...Chat Noir?”

He startled, trying to reconnect with reality, and was met with Alya’s confused frown.

“Sorry,” he said—because yes he could still speak, which was great, wasn’t it?—“I didn’t quite catch that last part. Could you repeat, please?”

“Oh! Yes, so I was wondering—since I’ve heard from akuma victims and Ladybug herself that you give the best pep talks and since Marinette holds you high in her esteem— if you would agree to give her a few encouraging words while I record you? I want it to be a little surprise for her.”

Oh. Now that was a funny situation.

...A very, very embarrassing situation he had no idea how to get out from.

Was it true? Was Marinette really in love with him? It made sense, in a way, he reasoned.

It would explain a lot of things.

But what would Marinette think if she saw him, Chat Noir him, making a video for her to confess to him, Adrien him?!

...She would probably hate him forever.

“...Chat Noir?” Alya’s voice brought him back on Earth once again. She was looking at him with what he assumed were the best pleading puppy eyes she could muster, and he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t working. Now he knew why Marinette couldn’t say ‘no’ to Alya and vice-versa.  “Could you do it? Please please please please pleeeaaaase? I’ll bring you another croissant! And Marinette really deserves it, you can’t deny her that—”

“Sure.” He heard his voice speak. Oh no. “I would love to!” Sometimes he wished he hadn’t been gifted with the ability to talk.

Alya let out a happy squeal, pulling out her camera. It almost convinced him that he had made the right decision in agreeing. Almost. “Thank you, Chat Noir, you’re the best! Marinette is going to be so happy after seeing it, no way she won’t nail her confession!”

“Hahaha…yeah...no way…”

Marinette was going to be mad at him. He didn’t know whether he should warn her or not; call her or not.

But one thing he was sure of, he was not at all ready to face her after that.

“So when you’re ready,” he gave an awkward thumbs up, “on the count of three… One...two...three...aaaand action!”

Adrien stared at the red indicator light on Alya’s camera, feeling like a deer caught in headlights. It was a terrible feeling. If a deer miraculous existed, he was sure very glad that he wasn’t its owner.

Alya nodded at him, reminding him that he had to speak.

“So,” he brought a hand to his neck, rubbing it awkwardly, “um, hello, M-Marinette, as you can probably see, this is Chat Noir! I’m here to tell you that...to tell you that...that…” He took a deep breath, trying to summon confidence he wasn’t sure he possessed at the time, and looked straight into the camera. “I’m here to tell you that I believe in you. I know you’re an amazing person and—”

* * * * *

“—you’ve been proving that you were very brave the few times that I met you. What I mean is...trust in yourself, and I’m sure your confession to...to that boy…”

“—Adrien,” Alya’s voice added in a harsh whisper.

“...Right. That boy A-Adrien will be very...very happy to hear it. I mean, you saying it, yeah he’ll be, um. Overjoyed. I think. Probably. So good luck and, uh...be happy.”

Marinette stared at her phone screen as the video ended, stopping on Chat Noir’s awkward finger guns with a face that clearly screamed like he just wanted to drown himself into the Seine, a sentiment she was currently sharing with him.

She couldn’t move for the next few minutes, replaying his words in her head. She didn’t dare to press “play” again and feel the embarrassment she was already feeling more and more a second time.

It was sweet of Alya, really. And well thought out. And Marinette probably would have loved the attention if the person she was planning on confessing to wasn’t the one encouraging her in this stupid video.

“Marinette?” she faintly heard Tikki’s voice calling out to her.

“I’m gonna die. No, wait… I’m already dead.” And with that, she dropped her phone on the floor and threw herself unceremoniously onto her bed, an arm covering her face.

“Marinette, this is great!” Tikki squealed. Marinette violently pulled her arm away to look at her. “Chat Noir said Adrien would be overjoyed to hear your confession!”

“Tikki. He said that ‘Adrien’,” she quoted the name with her fingers, “will probably be overjoyed. Keyword: probably. Keyface: the desperate one he was throwing at the camera screaming ‘please let me die’. How is any of this great, uh?”

Tikki didn’t answer right away. “Well,” she spoke in a timid voice, “if you’re both gonna die, then at least you’ll be together?”

Marinette knew Tikki was always trying to be optimistic, but this was a little much.

Tikki sighed. “Listen, I know it looks embarrassing—”

“—understatement of the century—”

“—but now you have the hardest part of your confession already done! All you have to do is call him or wait for him to call and—”

Marinette gasped and straightened up suddenly. “HIM TO CALL!” she screamed, and grabbed her phone.

When it was clear that no new notifications had appeared, she released a loud sigh to alleviate the pressure and fell back on her bed dramatically.

“Tikki. He hasn’t called. Or left any messages.”

“Maybe he’s waiting for you to do it?”

“Maybe.” Maybe not.

Marinette continued to stare at the ceiling, a thousand thoughts running through her head, all catastrophic.

“Tikki,” she called again. “He’s never gonna love me, isn’t he?”

“You know that’s not true.”

Marinette ignored her kwami. She grabbed her Chat Noir plushie that was snuggled up against her cat pillow, held it in front of her, and caressed the side of its ear and hair with one hand.

“All I want is to get lost in his emerald green eyes,” she almost sniffed, “pet his cute little kitty ears,” she rubbed the doll’s cat ear between her fingers, “and...and kiss his adorable kitty nose,” she bopped its nose, “and hold him close to me,” and she hugged the doll close to her chest.

“Marinette, don’t you think that you’re being a little dramatic here?” Tikki’s voice pulled her out of her reverie.

She glared at her, straightened up and shoved the doll into the kwami’s face.

“Tikki. There is nothing dramatic when it comes to this boy and my feelings for him.” She brought back the plushie close to her and lowered her voice. “I love you Adrien,” she murmured, before dropping a kiss on its forehead with a loud mwah.

Tikki sighed. “Well, now that you just practiced your confession and are ready for next time you see him, off to bed!”

Marinette pouted and gave her a distraught look.

Tikki’s expression turned kinder and more tender. “I’m sure everything is going to be perfect, Marinette. You don’t have to worry.”

“I hope you’re right, Tikki,” she answered while the kwami nuzzled her cheek. “I hope you’re right.”

* * * * *

“Are you finally going to tell me where we’re going?” Marinette asked again.

“Nope,” Alya grinned. “This is going to be fun, I promise.”

Marinette groaned playfully, the bag of croissants her best friend had asked her to bring swinging at the rhythm of her pace. It was a nice morning, and it was sunny for once in Paris. Marinette might not have slept a lot that night, but Alya’s overjoyed mood was lifting up her spirit.

...Until a realisation hit her and she suddenly stopped walking. “You’re not going to bring me to see Adrien, are you? Because you, dragging me on a Sunday morning, with croissants...”

Alya just laughed. “Of course not, silly. That’s you and only you who will have to decide when you meet up with him. I think I’ve done my part already,” she winked.

“Your par—oh. The video.”

“Yes, the video, the last little push you needed to have the most perfect and grand love confession that love history itself has never heard!” Alya dramatically said while making wide gestures with her arms, which would have amused Marinette greatly were it not for the tight knot she could still feel in her stomach from the previous day.

She forced a laugh. “Hahahahahaaa, yes it was very nice of…of Chat Noir to accept and…”

“Oh my god, Marinette,” Alya interrupted her. “Chat Noir was such a sweetheart. I wasn’t expecting him to accept but it was really nice of him.”

“Ooooh, yes yes, veeeery very nice of him, he really shouldn’t have,” Marinette nervously nodded.

“Right?! He probably had tons of other things to do but he still chose to take the time for us,” she kept on gushing.

Marinette thought she must have nodded dumbly after that. Talking about Chat Noir and the video just reminded her that he knew now and that she had no idea about what he thought of it.

That she had yet to officially confess—that she had yet to face him.

And somehow, the fact that he knew that she was in love with him when she hadn’t even told him herself, well… It felt more stressful than any surprise confession she could have planned.

“...and he even said that you were an admirable citizen, by the way,” she heard Alya’s voice talking to her again.

“Who? Me?”

“Yes, you! And me too, but that goes without saying,” she fake-bragged. “But come on, we’re almost there.” She grabbed her hand and pulled her in a small run, eyes glinting, and Marinette had no other choice but laugh at her best friend’s antics.

They passed by a small shop Marinette recognised as one that was destroyed the previous day during the akuma attack. They turned around a corner she knew would leave them were they defeated that akuma and—

“He’s already here!” Alya gasped.

—Chat Noir was casually leaning back against a wall, seemingly lost in thoughts and inspecting his claws.

...And all of Marinette’s panic came back full force in the span of a second. She was not ready. She was so, so not ready to meet him just yet.

She unknowingly gripped the bag of croissants and Alya’s hand tighter, using the latter as an anchor.

“Hoy, Chat Noir!” Alya waved at him.

Adrien turned his head.

Smiled and waved back.

Looked at her.

Dropped his hand and smile, eyes widening in horror.

Clearly, he too hadn’t expected her. She was probably looking at him with the same horrified look on her face and cursed her inability to pretend that everything was perfectly fine on command.

Luckily, Alya didn’t seem to notice the tension between them.

“I’m glad to see you remember our little deal,” she joked.

Adrien, bless him, quickly schooled his expression into a more neutral one and turned to Alya.

“Of course. A promise is a promise.”

“I’ve got your croissants,” she went on. “All warm of today from the one and only Dupain-Cheng bakery!”

“Wooohhh,” Marinette could hear the forced enthusiasm in his voice, “that sounds de-li-cious!”

He quickly glanced at her, and she averted her eyes immediately.

A nudge from Alya reminded her that she was the one with the bag of croissants and that she was supposed to hand it to him.

She all but shoved it into his face.

Great.

“Oops, err, sorry, here,” she apologised, dropping the bag in his hands instead.

“It’s fine, thanks,” he answered quietly.

She didn’t dare to look at him. Maybe he was looking at her, or maybe he was avoiding her, too. It felt awkward.

It felt so wrong.

Wouldn’t he look overjoyed if he was in love with her and just learned she loved him back? Wouldn’t he?

Alya’s voice pulled her out of her spiralling thoughts. “So, do you have my merchandise, hm?”

Marinette looked up to Adrien who seemed to be startled from his own thoughts, too. “Of course,” he zipped down his pocket, “here. It’s all on this USB key.”

He gave Alya a wink for good measure.

“Thank you, you’re the best!”

“What’s on it?” Marinette asked, more to pretend that she was invested in whatever was happening than out of real curiosity.

“Ah-a! That’s for me to know and you to never found out,” Alya wiggled her eyebrows. “Oh by the way,” she gave a small movement of the head in Adrien’s direction, “what did you think of the video?”

Marinette’s eyes widened in horror and she looked into Adrien’s eyes to see him looking back at her absolutely...terrified. She couldn’t find a better word to describe it.

He looked….he looked terrified.

...He really had moved on, hadn’t he? She was too late, and the idea that he would have to reject her terrified him, wasn’t it?

Marinette tried to control her emotion and keep the tears she could already feel prickling her eyes from escaping.

“The...the video?” she said timidly. “The one you sent me yesterday with Chat Noir?”

Alya nodded enthusiastically. Adrien was offering a tentative smile but she could see how much it was costing him to do it.

“Oh yes I hope… I hope it’s gonna help you,” he murmured in a trembling voice.

...She couldn’t do it right now. Internally cursing herself for being a stupid coward or some other name she didn’t even had in mind, she took a deep breath and summoned the cheeriest voice she could muster.

“Ooooh hahahaha, yes it was very nice of you and um, and a good surprise! But pfffeeew, it wasn’t necessary at all, I mean! I loved that you took your time for me but… I’m totally over Adrien, hehe. It wasn’t even a big big crush I had you know, just a tiny tiny little feeling, but now it’s all gone into the wind, wooooshh!”

She could feel Alya’s incredulous eyes on her, and saw the small smile Adrien had been trying to maintain completely disappear.

“But… Marinette, what are you saying? Just yesterday you were telling me on the phone that you were head over heels for Adrie—”

“Exactly,” Marinette cut, nodding, “yesterday is suuuuuch a long time ago, things have totally changed now!”

Her statement was met with silence, so she looked awkwardly from Adrien to Alya, and to Adrien again.

Adrien, who looked like a part of his world had just crumbled in front of his very eyes.

“Well,” he said, voice quivering, and she suddenly felt like she was falling from very, very high, “it’s okay.”

It was not.

“I’m glad to know that you’ve made peace with your feelings,”

Oh god no, please no.

“and that you don’t really need my help to...to confess.”

No, no, no...Everything, but not this.

“Chat Noir…” Alya tried to speak, sounding apologetic.

Adrien gave her a wobbly smile.

“Don’t worry, I’m always happy to help, even if things don’t always work out as we hope they would. And it was fun to spend a little time with you two.”

Marinette wanted to speak, but no words would come. She was sure her tears were visible and she tried to convey what she wanted to say with her eyes instead except...she didn’t even know what exactly she wanted to tell him.

Probably it was why she couldn’t form a sound.

Adrien’s eyes met hers for a split second, and he turned around, his back to them.

“Well, if you’ll excuse-me, I have somewhere else to be. I hope you two have a nice day.”

“Chat Noir, wait—”

But he extended his baton and soon disappeared behind a building.

“Wait…” Marinette whispered again, staring at the spot where he had just vanished.

“...Marinette?” Alya tentatively called out to her.

She turned to her best friend and let her tears free to roll on her cheeks.

“Alya... Why do I keep messing up? Why do I keep messing everything up?”

“Oh, girl… It’s okay.”

Alya pulled her in a hug and Marinette let herself cry.

“No, no it’s not. It’s… It’s not. Why did I say all of this? None of it is even true,” she sobbed.

Alya rubbed circles on her back and let her talk her heart out, listening patiently as always.

“You panicked at the idea of admitting again to someone that you loved Adrien?” she finally asked.

It wasn’t exactly that, but Marinette couldn’t really say why, so she just nodded into her neck.

Alya sighed. “I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t have asked Chat Noir for this video. I thought it would be a good idea, but…”

Marinette shook her head frantically. “It was a great idea Alya, it’s not your fault.” And she meant it: she would have loved the video had Ladybug and Chat Noir not been her and Adrien. “It’s just me, I don’t know why I’m like this. And now, I hurt Chat Noir,” she whispered.

“Forget about Chat Noir right now,” Alya said. “It’s you who’s hurting. I’m sure he’ll understand, he said he had been happy to help anyway. And if you want, we can make a little video to tell him it was a joke,” she teased.

Marinette managed a giggle through her tears, and broke off the hug. Alya kept her hands on her shoulders.

“But seriously. Are you sure it’s only the Adrien thing that is making you cry? I feel like you’ve been more stressed than usual lately.”

She shrugged; she didn’t even know the answer to that.

“You know what?” Alya said, tone a little less consoling and a little cheerier. “I declare today as a girls day, and a make-Marinette-feel-better-day. So we’re going to have a nice lunch in a nice little restaurant, and then we’ll go to the cinema, how does that sound?”

Marinette finished to wipe her tears. “That sounds great Alya, thank you so much. I couldn’t have asked for a better best friend, you know... You’re always there for me.”

Alya laughed and gave her a side-hug, dropping a kiss on her cheek. “Oh you could. You could have been me and have you as a best friend.”

That made her laugh. She still had to talk to Adrien, but for now she was glad to forget a little about him.

* * * * *

It had taken quite some time for Marinette and Adrien to get used to each other’s identities. They had been fumbling with their words a lot, overthinking each of their moves. It was a sort of out-of-body experience to merge two persons you viewed as two different entities into only one, and it had taken some time to really click in their mind and adjust their newfound dynamic.

So yes, it hadn’t been short, but they had gotten there—they had found a common, safe compromise.

But now, as Marinette anxiously watched Adrien’s back as he was packing his bag before leaving for lunch, it felt as if all this progress had been destroyed and they were not even back to square one, but to square minus ten.

She purposefully took more time than necessary to clean her table, nodding to Alya to let her know to go ahead and that she would join them at the cafeteria in a few.

And soon it was only the both of them left in the classroom.

Starting a conversation with Adrien had finally felt natural, like starting one with Chat Noir before they knew each other’s identities, yet it had never felt harder than now.

Thankfully, he was the one who took the plunge.

“Marinette? Can I… Can I ask about what happened this weekend?”

His tone wasn’t unkind, far from it, but it was also firm.

“This...this weekend?” she stuttered, cursing herself for pretending she didn’t know what he was referring to.

His expression crumpled a little and he sighed. “You know what I’m talking about. Listen, I’m gonna be honest with you—”

The knot she had in her stomach tightened and she could feel her heart beat faster—the kind of beat that wasn’t due to a sudden surge of love, but the one that was fearful of what the turn of events might be.

“—but sometimes, you confuse me. I mean, it got better now that we know, but there are times I don’t know what you think and…” he sighed again, and ruffled his hair.

Marinette kept staring at him; he was right.

“And this weekend, I finally thought I had figured it out, but then you…”

“I’m sorry,” she murmured.

Adrien shook his head, looking like he was the one feeling sorry. He took a step towards her, and brought a hand to her face, gently putting some strands of hair behind her ear. “It feels like you don’t trust me with your feelings, my Lady,” he almost breathed. “I’ve always told you how I felt, or if something was bothering me...even if I’ve been more than clumsy about it at times.”

Marinette said nothing.

“I’m just asking you for the same honesty.”

He dropped his hand from her face but kept maintaining her gaze. His look was intense, expectant, but oh so disheartened.

“I’m sorry,” she finally mumbled again, because words still wouldn’t work.

His expression turned to a resigned one, and her heart broke a little.

“You know that you’re my best friend and that I’ll never think badly of you no matter what?” he said, before turning around.

“Adrien...wait—”

His phone rang.

“It’s the Gorilla. He’s waiting for me. I’ll see you after lunch,” and with that, he exited the classroom, leaving Marinette even more frustrated with herself than she had been before.

* * * * *

It’s precisely because something is important that it’s important to say, no matter what.

She had lost count of how many times she had repeated this in her head ever since Chat Noir had told it to her. She had often been close, so close to follow it and say what was on her heart.

So close... But she had never achieved it.

Marinette took a deep breath. Exhale.

Adrien was in the locker room, alone. All the other students had gone back home now, but a fencing lesson after class had held him up.

She had waited the entire lesson—she knew he would come by the locker room at the end to take some school books.

“Adrien?” she called timidly.

He stopped what he was doing, a hand on the locker door. He didn’t turn around.

How many times had she imagined confessing to him?

How many times had she planned her confession to him?

How many times had it all failed…?

Confessions don’t plan themselves, she figured. They just happen when they happen.

“I know you’re probably still frustrated with me, but...there are things I want to tell you.”

Hello Marinette; as you can probably see, this is Chat Noir.

“First of all...I’m sorry. For yesterday; for being confusing to you. For being a coward,” she whispered the last word.

I’m here to tell you that I believe in you.

“The truth is… I’ve always been afraid to open my heart, and especially to you.”

She couldn’t read his expression, but he hadn’t moved, his back still to her.

She took a step forward.

“Which is stupid, of course, because you’re my partner and there’s probably no one I trust more than you.”

You’re an amazing person—

Another step.

“But I think that’s because you’re so important to me that I’m scared to be honest with you. Because once I tell you…”

—and you’ve been proving that you were very brave.

“Once I tell you, you’ll know everything about me. And that’s terrifying.”

Trust in yourself.

“You told me once that it was because something was important to say that it was important to say it. No Matter what. Well. I have something important to tell you.”

She took another step, so she was standing right behind him now.

I’ll be happy to hear it.

“I love you, Adrien,” she whispered, and hugged him from behind.

You, saying it. I’ll be overjoyed.

“I love you,” she repeated louder into his back.

Good luck and…

She untangled herself from him. “I love you,” she said firmly, confident, one last time.

...Be happy.

Adrien turned around.

And he had the brightest smile she’s ever seen on his face, tears glistening at the corner of his eyes. Just like that, hers that she hadn’t noticed forming ran on her cheek and she let out a choked giggle. She threw herself at him, her arms around his neck.

He caught her easily and hugged her back just as tightly.

“Thank you for being honest with me,” he whispered into her hair. “I love you too. So, so much.”

She hugged him tighter, and put her hand in his hair, massaging it.

They stayed like that a few minutes, gently swaying.

Then, Marinette loosened her grip on him to look into his eyes. She slid her hand from his shoulder to his arm to his hand to link her fingers through it, but kept her other one in his hair.

She could almost feel him shivering.

They nodded at each other, knowing what they wanted.

And then their lips met. Softly, lingering but not pushing.

Marinette was aware of everything that was him, that felt him: his hair, that she was still caressing with her hand. His arm around her, with his hand slowly running up and down her back.

His other hand, still tangled with hers, slightly pressing more and more as the kiss went on. It sent waves of shivers throughout her body.

And his lips and breath on hers.

They broke the kiss, giddy smiles on their faces. Marinette grabbed his face then and kissed his nose.

Adrien laughed. “What was that about?”

“I wanted to kiss your kitty nose.”

He snorted. She giggled, and climbed on her tiptoes once more to kiss his laugh.

Once. Twice.

Three times.

He kissed her back each time.

“I’m sorry about this video. It must have put you in a tight spot,” she said after the third kiss.

Adrien whined. “I am the one who’s sorry. I had no idea what to do and I thought you were going to kill me.”

“I thought I was going to kill myself when I saw it,” Marinette exclaimed. “And then Tikki said that at least we’d be happy and dead together!”

Adrien burst out laughing. “I’d rather be happy and alive with you for now, if that’s okay.”

Marinette nodded frantically. “Oh yes me too. It was a good video though. It did help me in the end.”

“Yeah?” he asked, sounding hopeful.

“Yeah. And from now… I’ll make sure that you know what I feel about you.”

He gave her one of his soft smiles, one of her favourite smiles of his. “Promise?”

“Promise.”

And she sealed it with another kiss.

.

.

.

_____________

Bonus scene:

Adrien watched Marinette out of the corner of his eyes. She was calm, sipping her tea.

But something was wrong. He could feel it.

Maybe it was in the way she was so casually drinking, almost ignoring him. Maybe it was because she still hadn't reacted to the pictures of her, Ladybug her, falling head first in the fountain that Alya had released the previous day—with the bright grand title "Ladybug vs ladybug? It's more likely than you think."

Maybe it was a little bit of both.

Marinette brought her tea one last time to her lips, and put the cup on the desk.

"You feeling good Chaton, uh?" she asked in a calm voice. Calm, but with a tone that either meant "all is good" or "all is wrong".

It was terrifying. He gulped.

"Yes?"

She nodded. "Good."

His right leg was rapidly bouncing up and down in anticipation. Marinette grabbed her phone and tapped a few things on it, before putting it back on the table.

His phone rang.

She was looking at her nails, casually rubbing them with her thumb. Adrien raised a brow and looked at his own phone.

One new message. From Marinette.

A link. And a caption that just said: '😘'

He clicked on it. A tab to the Ladyblog opened.

He felt a wave of dread slowly washing over him as the page loaded.

And suddenly, in bright, grand title was written:

"Five Times Chat Noir Was Scared By A Passing-By Cat, And The One Time He Fell Into The Seine."

[bokuroo-squeals]

Of rough time, marriage and fears

Daichi x reader

Genre: Requested angst to fluff

Summary: After a year of being happily married, trouble seems to appear at paradise when Daichi starts growing distant.

Note: This is not the best, and I don't think I took it the right direction but it was fun to experiment with this. Let me know if there's any orthographic or grammar mistake ,and thank you for reading!!

Marriage is more than a pretty wedding and golden rings, more than a cozy house with nice plants to water. Marriage is way more than all that, so it's not surprise to have though days, fights and disagreements are not a foreign concept, but nothing of this was enough to break you and Daichi. Or so you thought.

One year into your spouse life started like a dream. Even when the road had potholes in the way, you two were mature about it and faced them together. Every morning you woke up next to the love of your life, and he held you close as if you were the most valuable thing in the world, and for a while, you thought you were to him. But months gone by taught you otherwise, because now the space between you was unbearable, like ice left too long on skin. And how it started you don't know, but you wished you did.

The first sign was Daichi growing distant, the second one was him getting in contact with an old friend, a past 'almost something' he knew since high school. And then, it was him spending more time with friends, with her, and you left alone at home to play the loyal housekeeper, the cute spouse that cleaned and cooked but couldn't enjoy dinner with the husband. So it hurt, the feeling of being left behind was slowly filling your lungs until you couldn't gasp for air normally, until the sensation was too much to handle.

The night was as normal as it could go, with you sitting on the couch, waiting for Daichi to come back home from work. Dinner had grown cold, and the clock's hands had moved so much for you to remember how long have you been waiting. Alone in a house meant for two, you couldn't help but feel lonely without Daichi, and you stop to thing briefly, maybe it's your own fault.

It's almost midnight when you hear the door open, then the shuffle of his shoes against the floor. He comes to through the frame, notices your figure and walks your way with heavy steps, Daichi's weight pulling him down in every movement of his legs shows how tired he is.

"It's late, you shouldn't have wait for me. I was out with Suga and the rest after work" he explains briefly after he collapsed next to you on the couch, finally giving into exhaustion.

The conversation ends like that.

Next time is not as peaceful

"Where are you going?" You asked again, the third time already on the week. You're tired, tired of not feeling like you still matter to him, exhausted of feeling him escape through your fingers even when he is right there in front of you.

"Another class reunion. Yuna-san..."

Your blood rushes with anger and you don't let him finish, you can't. It's too unbearable, the feeling of fury.

"Yuna-san? Another reunion? Daichi, please. You're rarely home this days, please, can you just stay with me this time?" Is not easy or possible for you to mask how exasperated you are at this point. Your husband notices the trembling of your body, coming closer to you with a tired sigh.

"We talked about this. Don't do this tonight, Y/n" with how hard he mutters it, it comes out like a warning, one that you're willing to ignore in favor of your feelings. This time is different, any patience or consideration have been thrown to the drain by you, and you are finally ready to explore.

"No! We haven't talk about this, we never talk, and that's the problem! Is always just you asking me to drop it, to leave you alone, to swallow everything inside me, and honestly, I'm not doing that anymore" He stares at you with brows knitted together tightly, a clear sign of him not approving what he takes as a tantrum for his attention.

"We'll talk when you have calmed down. Until then, I'm going out" Daichi turns to walk out, about to leave the scene like nothing, like your marriage was nothing.

Tears you didn't know were there start falling out of your eyes, dramatic style out of a lame romantic movie.

-

For him, it started with jokes and teasing from the team, making fun of him for a few laughs. It wasn't anything too malicious, a few comments here and there over his marriage life, how he was an old man now and how they were getting ready to not see him anymore at reunions or parties. Daichi could handle that, even laughing along with them, until Yamamori Yuna arrived back into his life.

There was a school reunion that he decided to attend after months of being stressed by work, just going out for some drinks and catch up with their past classmates, a night to refresh those records left in their memories from their youth. Everyone was chatting animatedly, the same jokes Daichi was used to were repetead, which he responded with an equally happy laugh. But the girl next to him frowned, her hand discreetly sneaking in a smooth motion all over his arm to get to his shoulder.

"Doesn't it bother you, Sawamura-san? They're making fun of you. " The seemingly troubled expression on her face was enough to cut his laughter.

"It's alright, I'm having fun out of it too"

"Well, it's not fun for me as your friend. Ever since the wedding you have been so engrossed on your partner, that it looks like have forgotten to be your own person, and now you're the joke of your friends". Yamamori's frown deepened even more, her pretty face painted with fake consern. She was so immersed in the little act, in her own selfish intentions, that every word sounded like authentic worry.

That conversation stays engraved on his mind more than it should've.

It's not like he doesn't love you, because he does. The band on his finger is the proof of his adoration towards you, but the fear of losing himself is powerful and big enough to overthink. Daichi starts going out more, because after thinking about it, he was closing off his friends, going out less, not answering texts, missing calls and updates from his friends.

Yuna seems to have all the answers for the questions plaguing his mind, so naturally, he hangs out more with her and his friends. Getting loose and enjoying himself with other people that's not you, because he thinks it what he needs.

He's told you before that she's hanging out with the boys and him lately, he's talked about her when you ask where he was or what was he doing. It's not like he's hiding the fact that he's been in contact with her, yet you still feel like trash when the ghost of doubt makes it's way on your heart.

-

When he returns, he doesn't expect you to be awake, thinking that you'd be on your shared bed, passed out after calming yourself. But you're as awake as you could be, with bloodshot eyes and dry tears over your sad features, and his heart pants with pain at the view. Is heartbreaking, seeing you as equally heartbroken, and us even more heartbreaking knowing he was the cause of your suffering. So he holds you, close to his heart to comfort a little what he has hurt.

"You don't love anymore. You're gonna leave me for her, Yuna" your words are tainted by anguish. An uncomfortable affirmation from your part, one that's not even close to the truth. His breathing stops and for a moment, he swears his heart does too.

"Don't say that, don't you dare say that again. I love you so much, you don't even understand." He opens up his heart with you.

Fifteen minutes is how much it takes him to explain to you all what has gotten to his mind ever since the first reunion. How he was afraid of not being him anymore, of being forgotten by his friends, of hovering over you too much.

"I'm awful, I'm the worst. My selfishness is the worst. I know, now I know. But please, you're the only one for me, I'd never cheat or leave you. The only one on my mind is you. At this point, you've ruined everything for me; love, sex, even religion. No-one can come close to whatever you do, to whatever you make me feel, I can't be tempted by anything that isn't you".

You belive him, you do. The way words spill so easily, flowing like water, can't be faked, neither can be the sparkle in his eye which you hadn't seen in weeks.

-

Daichi's path to redemption begins with being home early after work. Coming to your arms as soon and fast as he can, welcoming your warmth deep in his soul. Once again in your embrace, is hard for him to think just how much has he been missing out.

Is the kisses and hand holding, is your voice and your love what makes Daichi feel safe.

"Daichi, you have to shave" you tell him between giggles, his facial hair caressing the skin on your neck making you itchy.

"Later" he murmurs while he inhales your scent. It calms him down, it relaxes him.

Right now, he has to hold you close, love you as much as he can to make up for the bitter days he had made you suffer. Right now, you feel as safe and as happy as possible, between his arms that are your real home, beside him where you belong.

Marriage is more than just a pretty house and golden rings. Marriage is failing and hurting, with the promise of fixing whatever it needs to mend together.

[ayuuria]

Yashahime Translation: Livedoor News Interview

Please do not repost this translation without my consent! This includes screenshots of any type and amount. If you wish to share this translation, simply link to this post.

For more information regarding the use of my translations, click here.

The New Story That Continues the World of Inuyasha, Anime “Hanyō no Yashahime” Director x Producer Interview

With the Resolve to Reopen the Concluded “Inuyasha” World in Their Hearts. The Behind-the-Scenes Production of “Hanyō no Yashahime”

For 12 years from 1996-2008, “Inuyasha” (original creator: Takahashi Rumiko) which was serialized in “Weekly Shōnen Sunday” (Shogakukan) was a feudal fairy tale that depicted the heart of the battle between demons, humans, and half-demons for the Shikon Jewel.

Anime “Inuyasha” broadcasted from 2000-2004 followed “Inuyasha the Final Act” from 2009-2010, after the original work was concluded. It is a timeless masterpiece that is now loved around the world.

Continuing that world of “Inuyasha” is the new original anime, “Hanyō no Yashahime”, which began broadcast in October of 2020. Many Inuyasha fans were surprised at the shocking set up that the daughters of Sesshōmaru, a popular character in “Inuyasha”, would be the protagonists.

With everything from the production, background music, and cast performance having an Inuyasha flavor mixed in, being moved from seeing the new characters and the “Inuyasha” characters coming together on the TV screen, to the absolutely unclear mysterious developments, the hearts of fans around world have been grabbed once again.

Since broadcast began, despite having completed one cour (translator’s note: Cour = 3 months or 13 weeks/episodes), the full picture of the story still cannot be seen. We carried out an interview conversation with director Satō Teruo and producer Naka Toshikazu regarding the things of interest about the work up until now and ahead.

We Prepared a Device That Would Allow Inuyasha Fans to Enjoy (the show)

— One cour has passed since broadcast began. Are the responses reaching you?

Naka: The response is incredible. Especially on social media.

Satō: You’re right. I’m also on Twitter, so I get reactions from all over the world. I truly get a sense that it’s work that’s receiving a lot of attention.

When I look at comments on the official (Twitter) account, most of them are from overseas. Not only do I once again realize that “Inuyasha” boasts a worldwide popularity, I do my best while feeling the pressure of “Hanyō no Yashahime” being a work that inherits that world.

— Apparently the one who suggested the project was Suwa Michihiko of ytv Nextry, who was the producer for anime “Inuyasha” and “Detective Conan”. How did you two feel when you first heard about the project?

Naka: “We’re going to do a story that’s been neatly concluded once before again!? How!?” is what I felt at the beginning.

From the moment I first heard about it, I was still floating around what kind of story it would be. “I might make it a story about Sesshōmaru’s daughter.” was as far as I had gotten. I thought “If I’m not mistaken, if we make it like that, then there might be something to do”.

Satō: There were talks of “wanting to do it” for 2-3 years and Rumiko-sensei, Suwa-san, and the “Inuyasha” staff had mulled over the idea.

It’s just that not only was the story of “Inuyasha” itself was very neatly concluded, after “Since Then” (the special edition (chapter) depicting the after story) we had Rumiko-sensei tell us “There’s nothing left to do in “Inuyasha””.

There was a rather heavy responsibility in touching that and as an Inuyasha fan myself, it made me really think about “In order to create a new story out of a work that was neatly concluded, what sort of form does it need to take?”

I think Inuyasha fans would watch, so I felt that I wanted to release something that everyone would agree to as much as possible without breaking their (idea of) “Inuyasha”.

— In terms of the target audience for “Hanyō no Yashahime”, do you consider Inuyasha fans the main target? Or do you focus on the new audience that does not know “Inuyasha”?

Naka: For us, we want people to like the new characters so in that sense, we keep in mind the new people.

It’s just that a lot of time has passed since “Inuyasha” was broadcasted and I think among the people who watched “Inuyasha” back in the day are people who have become parents. I think watching it as two generations, parent and child (Mom and Dad who liked “Inuyasha” and the children who are touching it as a new work), is the most ideal.

Satō: The voice actresses who voice the three princesses (Towa, Setsuna, and Moroha), are from a generation that watched “Inuyasha” right when they were kids. They chit-chat while recording every week (laughs).

It would be great if the new target group could go back and watch “Inuyasha” because of “Hanyō no Yashahime” and think “There are demons that appeared in “Hanyō no Yashahime” too”. On the reverse side, I would like those who watched “Inuyasha” to enjoy “Hanyō no Yashahime” from the point of view of “It’s the demon from that time”.

For that reason, we inlayed different devices and components into the story.

Naka: We periodically put in devises that would make people who like Rumiko-sensei’s other works smile a little bit. Like the hoodlums who appeared in episode 2 or the monkey gag in episode 9.

— In other words, while still keeping in mind those who don’t know “Inuyasha”, you are of course creating a work that Inuyasha fans can enjoy as well.

Satō: Making sure we don’t destroy the image of “Inuyasha” characters is at the forefront of our minds, especially when we bring them out into the “Hanyō no Yashahime” world. This is so that people watching don’t think “That’s not the kind of character they were”.

Of course, when we bring them out, we always have Rumiko-sensei review the scenario. She’ll tell us “It should be fine if it’s like this” and apply that to the scenario which is how we’ve been doing it.

Naka: We’re careful so that when “Inuyasha” characters take the mound, they don’t eat into the spotlight of the new characters while also not losing their “status”.

— Among the fans, the way the broadcasting order of “Hanyō no Yashahime” to “Great Detective Conan” is similar to “Inuyasha” to “Conan” became a popular topic of conversation. Was that formation something Yomiuri TV-san was particular about?

Satō: The order is the same as when it was broadcasted during the golden hour of 19:00-20:00 (7-8pm on the 12-hour clock). We’re grateful that they’re nostalgic about it.

Naka: I don’t know if they were particular about it or not, but it was decided from the start that it would be broadcasted during that timeframe (before “Conan”). It’s possible that it just turned out that way, but from the production side, it felt “just like before” in the end.

Satō: It’s like (Yamaguchi) Kappei-san (role of Inuyasha and also Edogawa Conan/Phantom Theif Kid in “Great Detective Conan”) has 2 consecutive appearances (laughs).

Naka: Not only is the connection between the timeframe the same, but also when we heard that SixTONES would be doing the opening for the October cour, we thought the flow looked the same as “Inuyasha” since it would be a group from Jonny & Associates that would be singing (Editor’s note: In the past, V6 and Tackey & Tsubasa were in charge of the theme song for “Inuyasha”).

In the end, we’re also curious as to how the structure is the same as during “Inuyasha”.

A Character Cannot Come to Life Without Working Out the Fundamental Aspects

— Next, we will ask how story the of “Hanyō no Yashahime” was created. We just heard from Naka-san that “When I first heard about it “I might make it a story about Sesshōmaru’s daughter.” was how far I had gotten”, but were there any different ideas regarding the direction after that?

[Characters bios written following the question but I’m skipping it]

Naka: We proceeded with that intention as is.

It’s just that even if it’s a daughter, we couldn’t quite settle whether the daughter would be twins or an only child. We couldn’t decide until right on the line of “If we don’t decide what sort personality the character will have at this stage, we may have to relook things including the broadcast timing” (laughs).

Satō: We pretty much decided after directly talking to Rumiko-sensei.

— What did Rumiko-sensei tell you?

Naka: Regarding the character persona, she pointed out things such as “With only the setting, you don’t know why they speak that way” and “Why they dress like this doesn’t feel right to me”.

Especially with Towa, it took a long time for Rumiko-sensei to understand and agree to the part where “She dresses like a boy because she’s this kind of persona”. That’s where we struggled the most.

Satō: For Rumiko-sensei, apparently, she understood Setsuna and Moroha straight down like “So this is the kind of child she is”.

However, only with Towa did she say, “If you don’t clearly boil down and solidify how she will grow and what sort of foundation she’ll have, the story development will become blurred wouldn’t it”.

With that point, it was a lot of work deciding Towa’s character.

Naka: Not just the settings, but we had Sumisawa Katsuyuki-san (in charge of series composition for “Inuyasha” and now this work as well)  vigorously write the scripts for episodes 1 and 2 and show Rumiko-sensei “With this story flow, Towa will respond like this” and “We’ll use this language”.

With that, we put things in order in a “But, we probably don’t need this kind of language after all, right?” kind of way.

— It was explained in the story that Towa dresses like a boy because “It’s easier to fight in”, but is that one of the settings that was solidified like that?

Naka: Yes. The result of coming up with different reasons and many ideas was that we ended up settling on a conversely simple reason.

Satō: Rumiko-sensei casually said “Isn’t “it’s easier to fight in” good enough?” (laughs). We were turning up a lot of different rationalizations. (translator’s note: Not confident on this sentence) For example, “As a girl, there was something she didn’t like”.

But it also became “I don’t think that’s true” …… It made us realize it was fine to have something simple and straightforward.

— So Rumiko-sensei was involved with the character persona starting from the foundation.

Satō: I learned a lot from speaking with Rumiko-sensei as I was creating the characters. Rumiko-sensei’s way of thinking is very logical and upfront. For example, “Because (she’s) this kind of child, (she) behaves like this” or “(She) Won’t say something like this”.

That’s why, people who view the work will see their foundation. In my head, I knew “If you don’t work out the fundamental aspects, the character won’t come to life” but I came to realize that once again.

In the anime, there were many people who put out ideas starting with Sumisawa-san, but I thought it must be a lot of work for Rumiko-sensei to create a manga while consulting with the editors.

We’re Mindful of the Composition that “Towa Sets the Story in Motion”

— With the characters solidified, did you receive any orders from Sumisawa-san as you planned the story?

Naka: With “Hanyō no Yashahime”, it started with Sumisawa-san first writing the scenario that would become the first manuscript.

In that regard, we discussed with him things such as “Keeping in mind of the development ahead, please pay attention to this part” or “Please put this device in”.

More precisely, there was a lot of discussion about Moroha’s position at the beginning. There was the fact that Moroha was the easiest character to move, but we wanted him to keep in mind as much as possible that she (Moroha) should show her concern for Towa and Setsuna in a way that ensures they’re at the forefront.

Satō: To the writer, Moroha is like a “Mini Inuyasha”. Hence there was a tendency to naturally center the story around her.

However, Sesshōmaru’s daughters, Towa and Setsuna, are the protagonists this time so we wanted (the writer) to keep that in mind.

Because Moroha is easy to understand with her character and Setsuna is a female version of Sesshōmaru, when their vectors become conspicuous, Towa appears overshadowed no matter what. “The protagonist getting overshadowed by those around them troupe.” is something that happens in original works.

That’s why we’re conscious of the composition of bringing Towa into the center and using her to move the story whenever possible. That’s the part we especially placed importance on when putting together the story.

— Next, please tell us the appeals of the three protagonists. Starting from Towa please.

Naka: Regarding Towa, she inherited Sesshōmaru’s silver hair, has a boyish outfit, and has an outward appearance that would make girls think she’s attractive.

However, her values are surprisingly modern, and she has a naiveness about her which Setsuna calls out within the story. I don’t think there have been many characters who have been balanced like this thus far.

Although, at the current phase, there’s a point that what the goal behind her actions is might still be a little weak.

Satō: Just as Naka-san said, Towa has a half-hearted kindness and naiveté; how that will change as she travels with Setsuna and Moroha. Please look forward to that growth as you watch the story.

I think there are people who get impatient seeing Towa’s current indecisiveness (laughs).

What will that kind of protagonist experience and how will her feelings change from that. It will make me happy if people think “Towa’s changed; she’s matured” at the end.

Naka: I think having lots of room for growth is what gives her that protagonist feel. Conversely, Setsuna is a relatively standard character. However, on the one hand, she does have a kind side.

Satō: She does show a little affection after all (laughs)

Earlier I said “a female version of Sesshōmaru” so I think her nonchalant kindness is the same as his. The vector of her character direction is easy to understand which is her appeal.

— It seems Setsuna coldly pushes Towa away, but also shows concern for her. Despite saying, “The curse of the Dream Butterfly doesn’t need to be broken”, she goes along with Towa’s search for the Dream Butterfly.

Satō: Just as the line “I can’t readily accept that” in episode 3 said, Setsuna cannot accept Towa as her sister.

However, I believe she understands Towa’s virtues as an individual. We would like everyone to pay attention to how Setsuna draws the line of “I can understand Towa’s good qualities, but I can’t acknowledge her as an older sister” and the point at which that line is crossed.

Will the day ever come where Setsuna will address Towa as “Towa nee-chan” ……

— It feels as though the distance between them is getting shorter, like when she almost went along with Towa’s high-five in episode 11.

Satō: Little by little. Within that, we would like for you to please look forward to how their feelings intersect when the time comes.

Naka: In that episode, it looks as though she gets along with Towa, but when Towa tried to lay her head on her lap, she didn’t allow it. I was watching with great interest like “So that’s where she draws the line” (laughs).

— Next, Moroha.

Naka: Moroha is pretty much just what you see (laughs)

Satō: She’s a hybrid of Inuyasha and Kagome. If her theatrical elocution is like Inuyasha’s, then her actions are understandable like Kagome’s.

In that sense, I think she’s a character that viewers can easily connect with. There’s also the fact that currently, all the gag lines are relatively being placed on Moroha (laughs).

Naka: In earlier episodes, her level of participation was high but lately she’s been in charge of punch lines (laughs). For example, when they didn’t take her to the battle in episode 10 or when she got caught up in Setsuna’s attack in episode 11.

Earlier, we discussed how “We were careful not center too much around Moroha” but it put us at a disadvantage as a result and I feel a little bad (laughs). However, Moroha will be taking charge in episode 16 next week (1/23/21) so please look forward to that.

Satō: Not only will Moroha play a very active role, but it is also an important episode that depicts the environment that she grew up in. Why she has to collect bounties and what kind of relationship she has with Jyūbee will be touched upon. If you watch that, I think you’ll come to understand her actions up until now like “So that’s why she was doing things like that”.

From a composition standpoint, episode 15 revealed Towa and Setsuna’s past, episode 16 will reveal Moroha’s backbone, and furthermore, the story of Setsuna’s childhood will come hereafter. If you watch that far, the full story of this will work will become clear for the most part.

The first cour was a period of planting seeds, but now going forward, the composition is set up so that the fruit of the tree will ripen and fall, so please continue to look forward to it.

The Casting of Miroku Was Entrusted to the Sound Director for “Inuyasha”

— Next, please tell us about the casting. On what points did you decide the cast group?

Satō: It was fundamentally decided through auditions. If we don’t progress the script to some extent, sound director Nagura Yasushi-san can’t determine the direction of the roles, so when the script amount had accumulated, we gathered up people who could picture the characters and carried out the auditions from there.

It was right about the time when the COVID crisis was escalating, so we worried if we could really start broadcasting in October.

Naka: The balance between the three was the deciding factor. After we narrowed it down from a number candidates, we took a “If this person did this character, then the balance would probably become like this” kind of view and decided from there.

Satō: There’s going to be a lot of dialogue between the three of them not matter what, so in order to avoid having similar voice tones and similar ways of speaking, we created the characters based on that assumption.

Towa’s thought process and actions are modern and Moroha acts on her emotions. Conversely, Setsuna is always calm and collected like Sesshōmaru and makes decisions after observing the entirety of the situation. Then she’ll look for the best solution and take action.

Because each of the characters has that kind of nature, we ordered Nagura-san to look for a balance that enables you to easily tell the three of them apart when they’re conversing.

– Did you not look at it from a standpoint that the voices should or should not sound similar to those of the parent generation like Sesshōmaru, Inuyasha, or Kagome?

Naka: That is a point that we were not at all concerned about. We proceeded with a viewpoint that the person should match the outward appearance, the actions within the story, and the nature of the character.

When balancing the three of them, balancing the twins seemed difficult, so from there we decided on Moroha first as her position takes a step back. We decided on Towa and Setsuna at the end after looking at the balance between them and considering Moroha for a second time.

— What were the key points in selecting the cast outside the three girls?

Naka: We left it up to Nagura-san. There were times when he asked for our review and opinions.

For example, there was an idea for Riku (CV: Fukuyama Jun) to have a more feminine voice. But when we spoke to director Satō, he said “A masculine image”, so we went with that direction.

— The Miroku that Yasumura Makoto-san, who replaced the late Tsujitani Kōji-san, played was a hot topic but did Nagura-san decide on that casting as well?

Satō: Regarding Yasumura-san, we asked Tsuruoka Yota, who was the sound director for “Inuyasha”, to decide. We thought that fit more under the category of “Inuyasha” rather than “Hanyō no Yashahime”.

Of course, I’m sure the viewers knew (the voice) was going to change, but we received a lot of feedback saying “It’s Miroku-sama!” and “It doesn’t feel out of place at all!” when episode 1 was broadcasted.

I was in Tsujitani-san’s care many times as a sound director prior to him playing Miroku. I was still a newbie producer back then but even when I met him after that at the “Inuyasha” set, he spoke to me like “Hello~”

I was producing while my heart was pounding hard. During testing, when I was panicking because I couldn’t match up the lip-syncing, he reached out to me like “We’ll do the syncing so it’s fine”. The figure of him reaching out to me so nicely is strong in my memory.

It was such a shame that he died so young. However, this time Yasumura-san, who was also his junior at the same agency, is working hard as his successor, and I think he was casted well.

Naka: Director Satō, you said “The air around Yasumura-san is completely different now compared to when I worked with him in other works”.

Satō: In episode 1, it seems he was really nervous having to record with the cast of “Inuyasha” who are high level seniors.

He was relaxed to some extent in episode 13 which was Miroku’s episode. He said to me “I’m sorry about before when I was extremely nervous” (laughs).

Creating Scenes in A Way That’s Distinct from the Popular (Methods)

— In order to make viewers feel that this is a work that inherits the world of “Inuyasha”, do you do any devising on the production side?

Satō: I would say scene creation. We don’t really get onboard with the popular trends. We split the cuts and show things the way they did in “Inuyasha” in order to smoothly give it that “Inuyasha” feel. I think it’s distinct from what’s popular nowadays.

This might be weird way of saying it, but it’s like we’re using an old-fashioned way of creating. By purposely doing things in a “Works from about 10 years ago felt like this” sort of way, it brings out that “Inuyasha” feel.

For other parts, Sumisawa-san directs the theatrical elocution and we have the same sound team from “Inuyasha” working, so no particular explanation is needed. In that aspect, they’re making it a lot easier for me (laughs).

For me, “Inuyasha” was the first work I did as a freelance producer. Not only was it a work that taught me the fundamentals of producing, but I also learned (how to make) storyboards from “Inuyasha”. In that sense, it’s a very memorable work.

— At the beginning, you said you “Put in devices that connect to “Inuyasha””, but between episode 9-12, demons that appeared in “Inuyasha” were continuously making appearances and it became a topic of discussion.

Naka: That section was the “devoured by Mōryōmaru” series. We had to speed through things in “Inuyasha the Final Act”, so I brought out those demons thinking “If we could just use the demons that we couldn’t properly show back then, even just a little”.

Satō: After fall for Meiōjū, we only had the scene of Mōryōmaru taking the armored shell (laughs)

Naka: We explain that “The demon that appeared this time is actually in “Inuyasha”” on the official Twitter account. It would be wonderful if there are people who take an interest in “Inuyasha” after watching “Hanyō no Yashahime”.

Satō: I think there’s also a wonderful world laid out in that work, so we would certainly love for you to watch “Inuyasha” while enjoying “Hanyō no Yashahime”.

Picking Out Noteworthy Episodes and Explaining Them!

— From here, we will have you look back on episodes that have already aired. We have picked out a number of impressionable episodes, so please tell us some secret (behind the) production stories, memorable recordings, and scenes that left a lasting impression on you.

Episode 1: Inuyasha Since Then

Satō: It was like a “class reunion” (laughs). Although, we couldn’t have everyone record together due to the COVID crisis.

We had everyone take turns recording but they were all was greeting each other like “Oh my god~!” as they passed by one another. Likewise, it was a teamwork that went without saying.

Jaken (played by Chō-san) was adlibbing a lot and that situation made me really think “This is “Inuyasha””.

The first episode was mainly “Inuyasha” basically, but at the very beginning and end, we had the story connect to episode 7 of “Hanyō no Yashahime”. In that sense, the episode was pretty much full “Inuyasha”.

Naka: While we had director Satō do the storyboard and production, I saw the storyboard and felt “Ah, it’s “Inuyasha”. It will be okay”. Like feeling relieved (laughs)

Satō: When 10 years goes by, the producers from back then aren’t around anymore. The people I worked with are now at the director level. Explaining something like the rules of “Inuyasha” from square one to the new people is a hassle, so I was like “I’ll do this myself” (laughs).

The surprising thing is, we had the same group of people from 20 year ago with chief animation director Hishinuma Yoshihito (in charge of character design in “Inuyasha”. In this work, he oversees animation character design) and the animators from back then. It felt as though “Ah, nothing’s changed”.

I remember working while saying “Back then, I never thought we would do something like this 20 years later”.

Episode 2: The Three Princesses

Satō: You could say this episode was episode 1 for “Hanyō no Yashahime”.

Due to the COVID crisis, we couldn’t have the three princesses record together and it made me realize how important it was for everyone to record together. Even though it’s a conversation, when you have one person record first and the other person responding while listening (the recording), it changes the mood and rhythm.

Nagura-san tried to match up schedules so that the three princesses could record together as much as possible, but in the end, we couldn’t record with everyone. In a sense, episode 2 was very memorable to me in that it left the impression of “So we’re going to have to record like this from now on”.

I think all the works that started airing in the fall were in the same situation, not just “Hanyō no Yashahime”. Since we were recording in chunks, it became necessary to pay even more attention than before to ensure that we didn’t forget to record anything.

I’m grateful to everyone involved that we somehow managed to air every week, despite these difficult times.

Naka: The first demon that appears in episode 2, is a point where we kept “Inuyasha” in mind as we pulled Mistress Three Eyes from Mistress Centipede.

I think it was an episode where we appealed that “We’re aware of the “Rumik World”” by putting in the hoodlums mentioned earlier and Towa’s gag face.

Even though the original “Inuyasha” leaned a little more to the serious side, I think Rumiko-sensei’s taste of allowing a little bit of leeway while not shaking off just that (aspect) is there.

This time as well, including the broadcast time, there were views from inside stating that they didn’t want to make (the episode) too serious. However, director Satō had already added that kind of relaxedness even before that was directly said. He splendidly created that balance that wasn’t too serious.

Episode 7: The Apple Meeting

Satō: Riku, who appears in episode 7, is a character we aimed to have revitalize the story by plopping in a new character just when the story was about to get stuck in a rut. Rumiko-sensei also uses this technique; for example, Kōga and Mugen no Byakuya in “Inuyasha”.

I spoke with Sumisawa-san at the beginning, expressing my desire to introduce a new character to revitalize the story before viewers could start thinking “We’re going to just keep watching this journey?” as they watch the three princesses progress on their journey. He’s a keyman who stirs up the story.

Plus, the three Yashahimes are girls, so there was also the idea of having a romantic component like with Inuyasha, Kagome, and Kikyō. Although he ended up having the feel of a pick-up artist as a result of trying to add that component in (laughs).

Naka: Episode 7 is an episode that connects to episode 1. We intended to put in the device of connecting episode 1 to another episode when we organized it, but after watching episode 7 I thought “It connected pretty well”.

I think it was nicely organized as it turned into a spoiler episode where you found out why Towa was there and what Setsuna and Moroha were doing while Yotsume was telling the old tale.

Satō: Going forward, Riku will gradually involve himself with Towa, and we wanted to show why that is over a number of episodes.

I think you’ll understand to some extent in episode 15, but he’s a character that you don’t know which side he swings to (friend or foe?), so he’s a character to look forward to in that sense.

Episode 13: The Delicious Feudal Monk

Satō: It was a parent child episode with Miroku and Hisui (CV: Urao Takehiro) that we added with the desire to develop Hisui. He is the son of Miroku and Sango (CV: Kuwashima Houko) and I think everyone was wondering what Miroku was currently doing, so we thought it would be nice to introduce what Miroku was up to here and depict the parent-child relationship.

Naka: It’s an episode where Hisui finally plays an active role. It was a feeling of sorry to have completely kept you waiting in the first cour. I am glad we were able to give him an active role to some extent. Moroha ended up going somewhere else though (laughs)

Finally, Setsuna stole the show at the end when her true power was released. I think it brings out Miroku and other “Inuyasha” characters in a good manner while still having highlights for “Hanyō no Yashahime”.

Episode 14: The Mastermind Who Burned the Forest

Satō: This is the episode where the truth behind the fire that attacked young Towa and Setsuna is revealed. It’s a real binding episode you could say, and I think it’s a story that could be put in a modern setting.

Also, from this story, the distance between Towa and Setsuna that we talked about earlier will somewhat destroy a line, I think. There’s Towa who shows her anger towards Homura, the one who tore them (the twins) apart, and Setsuna who has some thoughts from seeing that.

If you can feel that, I think how you view episode 15 will change.

Naka: I thought Towa’s comparison to a smartphone at the beginning was a little off as she doesn’t understand the concept of jealousy (laughs).

Also, something that I thought was strange after rewatching episode 14 was how the gardener and the cook were fine with working in such a dangerous place (laughs). I thought it was amazing even though they’re just regular humans.

Demons and humans unexpectedly coexist in this world. In a sense, you could say it’s very open-minded for a demon. Demons were depicted in all sorts of places in “Inuyasha” too, so it was an episode that made me realize once again that it’s this kind of world.

Episode 15: Lunar Eclipse, The Sorrowful Parting of Fate

Satō: Why did Towa and Setsuna have to grow up separated (from their parents) when they were young? This is the episode that answers that and depicts the continuation of the brief flashback in episode 8.

Why Sesshōmaru and Kirinmaru confronted Inuyasha and Kagome becomes clear. With this, I think you can start to understand Sesshōmaru’s actions.

Naka: This episode was a little different. To begin with, we thought that patrons would be happy to see Inuyasha and the others at the end of the first cour, so we organized it so that the past would be discussed at this timing.

It’s just that it felt completely independent from the main story and Riku just suddenly narrates it, so I’m sure viewers were surprised. Riku was in there as like the navigator.

The three Yashahimes don’t particularly know this, and this episode was purely for the viewers. It would be great if everyone looks forward to what’s to come while keeping this in mind.

— Thank you very much. Lastly, please give a message to our readers who are looking forward to what’s coming up ahead.

Naka: Cour 1 has just ended and we have entered cour 2, so from here on you will learn the things that you wanted to know. Please see for yourself how Towa, Setsuna, and Moroha will grow as you look forward to the mysteries being unraveled.

Satō: After episode 15, “what each character must do” will continuously become clear, and it will become a story that pursues that. On top of that, it would make me really happy if you could enjoy watching what will happen to the three (girls).

[brainrattlers]

Play It Cool - Tyson Jost (8/n)

Author’s notes: Short chapter this time around - there is no way I could have put this together with the chunk after it as it would be extremely LONG. Tyson’s bummed AJ can’t make it to the charity event, and AJ wishes she didn’t have to work overtime. Let’s just say things don’t go quite as planned anyway.

Pairing: Tyson Jost x OFC

Need to catch up? Here’s Part 7: https://brainrattlers.tumblr.com/post/686412673334804480/play-it-cool-tyson-jost-7n Warnings: Language. I think that’s about it this time around. Word count: 1650ish.

The first part of the week was uneventful, lots of texting with Jess to figure out what exactly happened at the party. It sounded like there was going to be a lunch date between she and Nate, but AJ wasn’t going to pry. Not her place. Instead she had her own craziness to deal with. Tyson had a game on Tuesday night, but it was away. Lots of messages between the two of them, and a little facetime chatting when he was away from the rest of the team.

Thursday finally arrived, and AJ knew it was going to be a long as hell day. Regular 8-5 day, but then also tacked on working an event that evening, having to make sure all tech was going to run smoothly. She definitely drew the short end of the stick. But the option for overtime was a nice touch. The first part of the day went well enough, and then AJ snagged a quick dinner before heading to the venue where the event was being held.

Meeting up with the event coordinators to make sure things worked as intended, AJ found herself hanging out in a dark corner of the room, waiting for all hell to break loose. That’s pretty much how these things work - they’re either completely uneventful, which is good because you get paid to sit there, but it’s boring as hell. Or… they’re to the point of being traumatic with so many issues but the night goes fast. She did a test run with the presenters, had a backup laptop, spare thumb drive with the presentation file… but that cannot guarantee things will go right.

To start with, it was going well, and she could see the guests coming in. She had recognized a few people from her work, and a few other faces. But being a pro, she was a wallflower in the corner, but ready to spring into action if necessary.

After cocktails and hors d'oeuvres were served, the presentation was beginning… until it didn’t. The presentation showed up on the projectors, but no sound was coming from the microphone. AJ jumped up in record speed, but calmly headed to the podium with the laptop. A few of the guests gasped seeing who was working up front. Murmurs were spreading throughout the crowd as AJ fiddled with a few cables hidden in the podium attached to the presentation system. She tapped the podium mic, and the sound echoed throughout the room.

A few familiar voices cheered at the woman that fixed the sound issues.

“HEYYYY GO AJ!” EJ cheered.

Mikko joined in, “AJ SAVES THE DAY!”

AJ was closing up the podium door when she heard one last voice she was very familiar with, but saying something super unexpected.

“THAT’S MY GIRLFRIEND UP THERE, LET’S GOOOOO!”

AJ looked up from behind the podium like a deer in headlights, and everyone suddenly turned to Tyson, who slapped his hand over his mouth, eyes wide. The room went seemingly silent. She tried to then play it off, and head back to her dark corner to sip on her soda, leaving the presentation to begin. Her phone started buzzing as soon as she got to her post.

Tyson: I AM SO FUCKING SORRY BABE! I WAS JUST SO PROUD OF YOU THERE DOING YOUR THING LIKE THE BADASS YOU ARE AND IT SLIPPED Please forgive me? I really am sorry. Babe? (frowning emoji)

AJ: I’m not mad, it was just really… surprising? I was hoping we could maybe have planned for this a little better. What do we even do now?

Tyson: I have a feeling I’m going to do some explaining with the guys soon. Are you okay though? Are we okay?

AJ: Yeah, I’m good. We’re good. (heart emoji) Just… don’t tell them everything, k? Like we’ve been dating a few weeks and so far so good?

Tyson: OK. Gotta go shake some hands and talk to people. Can we talk later? AJ: I have to go break down the presentation system here in a bit, I’m free after that. You find me though so I don’t interrupt you. (kissing emoji)

Tyson: (kissing emoji)

AJ’s heart was pounding in her chest as she saw a few of Tyson’s teammates approach him, exchange words, and all have big smiles. The players all dispersed and met up with various guests and talked about various things in the hopes to get donors to give to charity. All the while, AJ snuck up to the presentation system and started undoing cables and packing equipment into a bin. She suddenly stopped, feeling a pair of eyes on her, and nearby at that. Looking over, Nate was standing next to the podium, with an indiscernible look on his face. AJ sighed, and was about to say something until Nate opened his mouth.

“Really? Tyson?”

AJ wasn’t sure how to take this. It wasn’t playful chirping, but it wasn’t anger either. It just… kind of was.

“What’s wrong with Tyson?”

“Nothing. In fact, I actually thought about trying to set you up after that night you and I…” Nate chuckled. “You guys have the same energy. I just wish you would have told me? We haven’t talked in a while, not like we used to.”

The sadness broke through, and it did pull at AJ’s heart a little. “I’m really sorry, we just… it’s so new and we didn’t want to announce it yet,” AJ smiled and shook her head, “At least I hadn’t planned on announcing it until a little later. I would have told you soon though. You’re one of my best friends, even if I haven’t been the greatest one here lately. Tell you what, we haven’t played Fort in a while… how about Saturday night? I know you don’t have a game.”

It was Nate’s turn to be quiet. AJ squinted at him, just as he had a few times previously at her in the past few weeks.

“Hold up,” AJ thought for a few moments before responding, “Waaait a sec. Jess turned down dinner with me on Saturday night saying ‘she had plans.’ And you also seem to have something going on… are you two up to something Saturday night?”

Nate stayed quiet.

“YOU ARE!” AJ started smiling. “I FUCKING TOLD YOU THAT YOU SHOULD HANG OUT! I KNEW IT! HA!”

Nate quietly laughed and looked down, rubbing the back of his neck. “Okay yeah, you were right, and are right. But we’ll figure out something to catch up on soon, okay? I’m shocked Jess hadn’t told you really.” 

“Might have been trying to play it cool like Tyson and I were?” AJ smirked, putting the last of the components and cables in the bin, hauling it to the side of the room, Nate following.

“Hey, about that…” Nate was interrupted by EJ coming over after overhearing what AJ had just said.

EJ was blunt as hell. “Indeed, about that. You two are awful at playing it cool.”

AJ’s face tensed up into a confused look. “Excuse me?”

Tyson spied EJ and Nate talking to AJ, and immediately excused himself to join in the conversation.

“Oh hey lover boy!” EJ chirped, “I was just telling AJ about how terrible you two are at keeping secrets secret.”

It was Tyson’s turn to throw out an “Excuse me?”

A couple other players congregated as the rest of the guests were getting ready to call it a night.

“Don’t get me wrong, we’re 100% happy for you but FUCK if you aren’t awful at sneaking around. The night of the party at my place? I was going to the kitchen to grab a beer and found you two making out against my fridge. I promptly walked away, fearing what my fridge had seen you two do that night!” EJ laughed. “And don’t think I didn’t see you grab Tyson’s ass on the way out.”

AJ’s face was bright red. “Well the fridge didn’t see much to be honest! And the ass grab… wasn’t quite that.” 

Mikko was the next to chime in, winking at Tyson. “And the Halloween party?”

“You fucker, you were dancing with her like that on purpose!” Tyson was still irritated, but it started making sense.

“It was fun riling you up!” Mikko grinned. “Worth it!”

“Don’t forget the two of them making out by the bathrooms!” Burky interjected. “And we KNOW you didn’t go home early AJ, and Tyson, you didn’t leave either. Funny how your Jeep was still in the parking lot… We didn’t see anything though, I swear.”

The last one to say anything was Gabe, who joined late.

“And you showed up to practice the next day with uh… some claw marks on your back, bud.”

AJ closed her eyes and bit her lips trying to come up with something, anything, to say in response. She opened her eyes again and simply shrugged. Tyson was now beet red. 

“Alright, well, I guess I’m going to announce it, not that it is apparently new news, but yes, Tyson and I are going out. And we hadn’t talked about giving it a title yet, but apparently he’s my boyfriend?” AJ raised her eyebrow at Tyson, but smiled afterward to show that she wasn’t truly upset.

The guys all cheered, doling out some high-fives and hugs, genuinely happy for the newly minted couple. Tyson regained his silly, bubbly persona.

“And on that note, I do believe I’m going to kiss my girlfriend now… avert your eyes, boys!” Tyson grinned, grabbing AJ and dipping her backward as he gave her a hell of a kiss.

Cheers and whistles erupted from those around them.

It was out in the open, and they didn’t have to hide anything. Except it was clear that she was dating Tyson and she didn’t know how that was going to affect her job. Each day she went into work, fearing the worst, but nothing was said. No interference, just kept her head down, and did her job. PART 9: https://brainrattlers.tumblr.com/post/687680928392347648/play-it-cool-tyson-jost-9n

[youngerdrgrey]

you thinking about me? // a Batwoman fic

Alternate 2x13 scene. No ClueMaster, just Ryan and Sophie alone with the tequila as Mary goes to the bathroom.

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At best, Ryan only has to last five minutes alone with Sophie. She can do five minutes without picking a fight.

“So,” Ryan sinks her elbow further into the back of the couch, “did you make out with Batwoman before or after leaving your husband?" + read on ao3 

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Sophie asks the question like they should all be in on the joke together. “I don’t know, Ryan. Why would it make absolutely no sense for the new Batwoman to have saved you?”

Ryan blinks the question in. “Huh?”

But Sophie waves the question off with a laugh. “It’s okay.” She reaches for her glass on the table while Ryan turns her gaze to Mary.

This is exactly why they should’ve never been drinking with Sophie Moore. Sophie couldn’t have a good time if she handcuffed it to the table beside her. Now, she’s speaking in riddles when the true focus should be on the fact that Sophie was apparently aiding and abetting Batwoman long before Ryan got into the suit. More like aiding and a-bedding.

Mary pushes herself up from her seat. “Bathroom!” She pauses after a slight stumble to say, “Please don’t fight while I’m gone.” She shoots a pleading look specifically at Ryan.

Ryan throws her hands up in surrender — a familiar pose when Crowphie’s around. Mary takes that as enough of a concession to rush off for the bathroom. She normally only takes a few minutes, but a drunk Mary is much more likely to be distracted. At best, Ryan only has to last five minutes alone with Sophie. She can do five minutes without picking a fight.

“So,” Ryan sinks her elbow further into the back of the couch, “did you make out with Batwoman before or after leaving your husband?”

Sophie ticks her jaw to the side. “Before.”

Ryan’s eyebrows shoot up. “Didn’t take you for a cheater.”

Sophie barely swallows a scoff. “Didn’t know you’d take me anywhere. What would Angelique think?”

“Don’t.” Ryan cuts a glare across the couch at Sophie. The Crow might’ve helped get Angelique back, but that doesn’t make them friends.

Sophie turns her head towards Ryan. “So you can make jokes and I can’t?”

“You’d have to be funny to make jokes, Crowphie.”

“You make the same joke every time you see me. Doesn’t it get old?”

“Does working for a corrupt system get old?”

“What do you think?” Sophie fully shifts on the couch so they’re facing each other. The couch hadn’t felt small before, but with Sophie angled Ryan’s way and Ryan’s arm still on the back of the couch, well, it doesn’t exactly feel roomy.

“I…”

Sophie motions for Ryan to start. “Go on. You want to tell me about myself so bad, so go. Who am I? What do I want? Why am I here?”

Honestly, those are Ryan’s questions. Sophie’s been everywhere lately. Sure, she’s chasing down Kate and Black Mask, but it’s like spending time with Sophie is inescapable. She’s here after yet another Crows bust, which is weird since Sophie’s normally the one leading them. Not that trigger happy ass-hat who stormed in there tonight.

Ryan’s eyebrows furrow. “Wait, did you get taken off the Black Mask case?” That would explain why Sophie needed a distraction.

“I—“ Sophie narrows her eyes. “You think I’m here on a case?”

“Why else would you be here?” Ryan asks. Sophie had to be dragged to the bar by her younger sister and still ordered a club soda. The only time Ryan has ever seen Sophie out on her own was when Ryan messed up Sophie’s covert opp. Crowphie doesn’t do friends and casual chats. She always has a motive.

Sophie drops her voice. “Mary. She…. I worry about her.”

Ryan says, “I worry enough for the both of us. And I actually live here.”

“Yeah, well, I owe it to Kate to be here,” Sophie says. Of course it goes back to Kate. “Besides, it’s nice, being here. Even with you antagonizing me for wanting some company.”

“You could go find some.” There’s gotta be someone out there who won’t mind the rest of the company that Sophie keeps.

Sophie laughs. “My track record isn’t exactly great. And I’m pretty sure I can’t find another masked vigilante to pass the time.”

Ryan nods. “Can’t flip the signal for a booty call.”

“Yeah,” Sophie meets Ryan’s eyes again, “it’s not a pager, right?”

Ryan pauses. They’ve had this conversation. Both parts of it. Is this what Sophie’s after? Is this why Sophie made that comment about the new Batwoman versus the O.G.? Does Sophie know?

Ryan backtracks. “There are easier ways to find a woman in uniform.”

Sophie eases her stare. “It wasn’t about the uniform. It was about… the safety. Being with her felt exciting but comfortable. I could almost see what my life could’ve been like, if I hadn’t….”

“Been a Crow?” Traded in her soul for some badge and a gun?

Sophie shakes her head. “Been afraid. I spent my whole life terrified of letting people see me, and being with her felt like the best way to shut that out. But….”

“What happened? You turned her in?” Ryan asks. Her curiosity overpowers her usual biting tone. There’s a lot about Sophie and Kate’s relationship that Ryan doesn’t know.

Sophie gives a humorless laugh. “Worse. She asked me if I would be willing to be with her without her mask. If knowing who she was behind it — knowing the woman behind it — would change how I felt, or whether I wanted to be with her. Whether I was ready to be honest about who I really am.”

It’s not that Ryan isn’t ready to be honest about being Batwoman. It’s that Batwoman is more than just Ryan. The fact that Kate would’ve been willing to reveal herself to Sophie…. Was it just fool-hearted, or could Sophie actually be trusted? Ryan’s past tells her one thing, but sometimes, Sophie looks at her with those brown eyes so open and…. Sometimes, it doesn’t seem so bad to maybe have to let her in. For Mary’s sake.

Ryan asks, “Were you ready?”

Sophie finally breaks eye contact to glance down at her drink. “Not then. But, if I had another chance, I would be.”

But there is no other chance. With Kate gone and with everything Ryan and Sophie have gone through, this has to be it, right? Their roles are set. Sophie’s always going to choose the rules over what’s right, and Ryan… is so not thinking about this.

Still, Ryan can give a peace offering rather than start another fight. “Tell me — did the cowl ever get in the way?”

Sophie barely misses a beat. She gives Ryan this quirked brow look; it’s almost flirty. “You asking for a friend?”

Ryan shrugs, a bit of a smile on her lips. Tomorrow, she’ll go back to denying she’s ever considered it. But it would be kind of hot to make out in the suit. Maybe let Sophie go two for two on her scorecard.

Sophie shakes her head. “You know what, I am not drunk enough to answer that.”

“Bottoms up.”

“That another joke, or wishful thinking?”

Ryan laughs, and Sophie joins in. Down the hall, Mary breathes out a “Finally.”

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notes: Let me know what you thought! It has been far too long since I've written fic.

This fic started with the lines "Didn't know you thought about me," and "I don't.” The point being: I keep going back to Ryan voicing that she thought Sophie was bi, and maybe Ryan wondering what Sophie's experiences might've been like as a Black lesbian who was in denial for a long time. Regardless of their relationship, I really do love these two and want more of them both separately and together.

[acklesforlife]

Happy Birthday Danneel Ackles!

It’s Danneel Ackles’ birthday, so we thought for our continuing celebration of Supernatural Spring Break week, this was a good time to both wish her a happy birthday and share the rather amusing story of one of our first times meeting her.

There have been a few memorable times since, including the party celebrating ‘Supernatural Day’ in Austin with Mayor Adler, which was just plain fun and an opportunity for some real conversation.

And I’ll be forever touched that Danneel wanted a copy of Family Don’t End With Blood (and how incredulous she was that Jensen actually had a chapter in it!) and that she has read our other books too.

The actual first time we met Danneel was a long time ago – at the after party following the premiere of indie movie Ten Inch Hero, which was at a club in LA back in, I think 2008. We all left the premiere and walked over to the club, invited by director David Mackay – the cast and the audience all together.

We had a lovely little chat with Danneel there about the film, met screenwriter Betsy Morris who’s still a friend today, and asked actor Matt Barr (now of Walker) to watch the rest room door while I in desperation used the men’s room because there was a huge line at the women’s. (He was lovely about it and it makes me laugh now every time I see him as Hoyt).

It was a momentous party, what can I say?  After that, my co-author Kathy and I interviewed David over a three hour brunch in Vancouver for the first book we were working on, and mentioned that we’d love to chat with Danneel  too. To be honest, we didn’t really think that would happen. But a few months later, while we were in LA for the Supernatural convention, we got a call from David.

I’ll let some excerpts from our second book, Fangasm! Supernatural Fangirls, take it from here…

… he let us know that Danneel Harris had actually agreed to an interview too. This prompted some hyperventilating and a rush of euphoria that left us grinning like fools. Jensen Ackles’s girlfriend was going to meet with us? Really? David had given Lynn’s cell phone number to Danneel so that she could call us tomorrow, the same day the boys came back to town. SWEET.

Given the pattern of the weekend so far—great things happening and then going horribly wrong—we should have known what was coming.

[On the Sunday of the convention, while everyone was in a fever pitch of excitement over Jared and Jensen being there] Lynn was obsessively checking her phone. “Noooo!!” she gasped. It was the plaintive moan of a beast in distress.

Kathy assumed that Lynn was passing a gallstone from the sound of it.

“No reception!” Lynn said, wide-eyed.

For Kathy, who hates phones (really, what doesn’t Kathy hate?) this didn’t seem like a big deal. The world really is too connected anyway. An hour out of cell phone reception seemed like a welcome respite, an opportunity just to enjoy the moment.

Lynn wasn’t as philosophical. “What if Danneel calls?”

Kathy honestly didn’t hold out much hope that this would actually happen—a yellow on the threat scale at most—so she wasn’t concerned.

Lynn was taking up her slack by flailing around, banging buttons on her phone as if somehow this would jolt it into action. “How can there be no cell phone reception in LA??”

Lynn had a point. We’re reasonably certain that there is cell phone reception in the Arctic Circle, but there was not a bar to be had in a hotel in LA. LA!! The town where everyone’s people are calling everyone else’s people, where iPhones are accessorized to coordinate with the day’s outfits, where a missed call can ruin a career. Jared and Jensen distracted Lynn for the duration of their time onstage, but as soon as it was over Lynn made a bee line for Jared’s girlfriend, Sandy (the woman sitting in front, wearing a hoodie so no one would recognize her—except Lynn apparently). Lynn wildly explained our dilemma to the stunned and probably scared actress. It was a good thing the Men With No Necks (MWNN) were only being paid to guard “the boys” or Lynn would have been face down on the carpet.

While Lynn was doing this, Kathy was pretending that she did not know Lynn.

Sandy was sympathetic, but didn’t know if she’d even see Danneel. Lynn thanked her for the sympathy and moved on to the next person who might be able to help. She attempted to enlist convention photographer Lizz, to no avail, and finally Creation owner Adam.

“I’ll try Lynn,” he said, sounding slightly exasperated. “But I’m kinda running an entire convention here.”

Thwarted again, Lynn pulled out all the stops. During her Jensen photo op, she stopped everything to explain the situation to Jensen himself.

“Hi, Jensen,” Lynn said, hoping that her voice wasn’t sounding too shaky. “We have an interview set up with Danneel today for the book we’re writing on fandom, and she’s supposed to call us, but I don’t have any reception on my phone, so I’m afraid she won’t be able to.”

The photo-op process screeched to a halt, and the room fell silent. Photo ops, you see, are not a place for conversation. They are highly valued by fans, who pay top dollar for the privilege of standing next to a celebrity, and they are relentlessly organized. The entire experience lasts about twenty seconds, and during that time you’re expected to say hello to the celebrity, smile, perhaps get an arm around your back or lean into said celebrity’s very firm bicep, and then move the hell out of the way and let the next person crowd in for the next picture. The photo ops allow no room for deviation. So when deviation happens, no one is very happy. The photographer wasn’t happy. The other fans weren’t happy. And the MWNN looked ready to move into swift and potentially lethal action.

Not that any of this stopped Lynn. “Can you put us in touch with her?” she continued, oblivious to the threatening stares all around her.

“Oh right, the interview,” Jensen said.

Lynn just nodded, though inside she was stuck on “OMG Jensen knows about our interview and our book, ohmygodohmygod.”

“Maybe she can email you,” Jensen continued. Then the conversation abruptly ended as Lynn was grabbed unceremoniously by the back of the neck and “escorted” from the photo-op room. Uh oh. She hadn’t experienced that feeling since being a two-year-old caught trying to get away with her baby brother’s coveted teddy bear. Lynn was most definitely in trouble—and even worse, she’d made no progress in getting in touch with Danneel, who didn’t even have our email address!

Lynn, ever the intrepid researcher, was not deterred. She thanked the Man with No Neck for his assistance and got right back in line for her next photo op, the “sandwich” photo (as in sandwiched between Jared and Jensen, which is vaguely dirty and thus very popular). As Lynn walked up, Jensen immediately tried to continue their conversation.

“So do you want to . . .” he began, while Jared looked confused. After all, the celebrities know the no talking rule as well as the fans.

Lynn held up a hand defensively. “Shh, I’m not talking to you. I totally got in trouble for it before,” she added, as the MWNN hovered threateningly.

Jensen laughed. “I got in trouble too,” he protested.

We doubt the MWNN were involved.

“Can Danneel get us her email?” Lynn managed as she was once again “encouraged” to leave the room as quickly as possible.

There was no time for an answer. Damn. Thwarted again. We were disappointed, but Lynn was relieved that she wasn’t escorted out of the entire con (the specter of the Flying Fangirl from Asylum still looms large at these events after all). We were still feeling like an interview with Danneel had been too good to be true anyway, so we tried to swallow our sadness and settled in to watch some of the other guests. Midway through the next panel, Lizz the photographer came out into the audience and passed us a note—from Danneel. It just said, “Send me an email, love danneel” and included her email address. Being a bit clueless about the popularity of smartphones in 2008, we figured this meant that she wanted us to get in touch with her later for an email interview. We were disappointed that we wouldn’t get to talk to her in person but incredibly excited that she’d given us her email address. We wandered back outside after the panel and tried not to be too miserable about the Danneel interview not happening that day. We were hanging out in the hallway chatting when photographer Lizz suddenly appeared and yanked us away in the middle of a sentence with an exasperated, “Come with me!” She led us down a small side hall.

We still weren’t entirely sure what was going on. Were we in trouble again? Had the MWNN decided to kick us out after all? Moments later, Danneel emerged from the side door, introducing herself with a smile. Somehow we managed to compose ourselves and smile back. Apparently Jensen had facilitated the interview after all! Danneel suggested that we all grab some coffee, so we headed upstairs to the hotel’s Starbucks, where Danneel insisted on treating.

Coffee in hand, we went back downstairs to start the interview. Danneel suggested that we go backstage to talk, and then came a weirdly symbolic moment. The very same Man with No Neck who had tossed Lynn unceremoniously out of the photo op for daring to speak to the talent now held back the curtain to the backstage area, solicitously helped Danneel and us step over the various wires and cables snaking across the floor, then closed the curtain behind us to seal our crossover. The irony wasn’t lost on us.

Kathy whipped out her trusty voice recorder just as she had done for every other interview we’ve conducted, turned it on, and . . . nothing. We were interviewing Jensen Ackles’s girlfriend and there was NOTHING. It wasn’t the batteries, which had been checked and rechecked. Kathy tried to maintain some semblance of professionalism. She would quietly figure out what was wrong and then she would just as quietly fix it. Deep breaths. Okay, the recorder was FULL. Not to worry. She excused herself, leaving a confused Lynn to entertain Danneel.

First the cell phone, now the voice recorder. Sunday turned out to be the day technology failed us. This, for Lynn, is an everyday occurrence. For Kathy not so much. She loves technology. She embraced the Internet years before it got pretty, she used a “portable” PC to write her doctoral dissertation (portability is of course a relative designation—relative to muscle mass and stamina), and she gets gleeful over the prospect of using every new toy her university has to offer. So yes, technology was her friend. Until it wasn’t.

While Kathy dashed upstairs to grab her laptop (wishing that she could grab a shot of tequila), Lynn attempted to keep up a conversation with Danneel without actually asking any of our carefully prepared interview questions. Without a recorder, there was no way she’d remember a damn thing that was said—so that left small talk as the only option. Luckily, Danneel and Lynn connected over their mutual love of writing, swapped college stories, and then Lynn (as always) managed to talk about her children. Danneel proved herself a great listener. Minutes went by—lots of them—and Lynn realized to her horror that Jensen and Jared were almost done with their autographs. After that, it was off to the airport—and we would lose our interviewee to her boyfriend as she left with Ackles. Where was Kathy???

Finally, shortly before Lynn had moved on to telling Danneel about her daughter’s first steps, Kathy returned and hurriedly tried to download everything onto the laptop while time quickly ran out. Come on!! All Kathy could focus on was how long it was taking for everything to download. That and the rising nausea that threatened to overtake her. Lynn, in desperation, started asking the interview questions (which, since they weren’t recorded, are lost to posterity—and to this book).

Suddenly Jared Padalecki walked by, meaning that autographs were over and people were getting ready to leave. We despaired of a recorded interview, heartbroken over the squandered opportunity. And then, quite unexpectedly, Jensen Ackles was standing there, smiling and saying hello. Even more improbably, he held a fluffy white dog in his arms. For a moment, Kathy was sure this was all part of the nightmare, because fandom at the time had no clue that Jensen even owned a dog. Icarus, however, was quite real—and quite fluffy. Icarus was almost as excited to see Jensen as we were—he’d apparently been whining backstage every time he heard his owner’s voice during the Q&A. We hugged Icarus while Jensen hugged Danneel and tried to talk her into riding with him to the airport. All Kathy heard in those words were that it was too late—she’d blown it.

Danneel, however, had other ideas. She blew Jensen off. No wait. This part can’t really be happening either. More of that dream? Kathy was contemplating poking herself with a sharp object, sticking her finger in a wall socket, anything to jar herself back into reality. This was surely just her own anxiety-ridden psyche toying with her. Must be. Who says goodbye to Jensen Ackles so that she can talk to US?? But Danneel really was excusing herself to say good-bye to Jensen, Icarus happily following, with assurances to us that she’d be right back to finish the interview. Kathy gathered together the few shreds of sanity she still had, sorted the problem, and figured out how to record directly onto the laptop.

Danneel returned, true to her word, and the interview finally began. We relocated to the “green room,” the cloistered room where the guests are confined between stage appearances. The green room, as we were well aware, is a private space—more or less a “No Fans Allowed” clubhouse for the celebrities. We immediately felt like imposters, occupying a space where we clearly shouldn’t be. The room offered a small banquet of food, a bit of which we gratefully sampled, and a table stacked full of fans’ gifts for “the boys.” The coolest of these was a hairdryer that looked exactly like Dean Winchester’s favorite gun—and yes, it actually worked!

Danneel, of course, was quite comfortable in the green room and turned out to be very good at making us comfortable as well. Lynn asked questions. Danneel answered. Kathy breathed. Everything was going to work out just fine. Somewhere the unicorns of fandom were neighing happily.

And then the laptop went dead.

Kathy again tried to be unobtrusive as she flailed around trying to find an outlet. No point in making a bigger fool of herself, right? Sooner or later, though, it became apparent that she was in need of assistance and everyone, including Danneel, was up and scouting for an outlet, crawling under tables and moving furniture to do so. Danneel, we decided, had the patience of a saint. She never lost her sense of humor either, shrugging off our apology for keeping her from accompanying Jensen to the airport by wryly noting that “Jared would have been in the limo anyway, it’s not like we could have made out on the way to the airport” and jumping up to knock on wood when we asked her about the possibility of marriage.

In the midst of all the sitcom mishaps we did manage to carry on an interview…

You can read the rest of our misadventures (and the interview itself) with Danneel in the book, but Kathy and I left that day with a respect and affection for Danneel that has never faded.

Jensen posted a photo of her plunging a clogged toilet today for her birthday, and I laughed because it makes it clear that she’s still as genuine as she was that day she got down on the floor and crawled around looking for an outlet right along with us.

I’ve had the opportunity to chat with Danneel several times since our hilarious interview, and I think most people who have run into her at the brewery would say this too – she’s not afraid to be real.

I’m so glad Danneel was able to be part of Supernatural as a cast member before it ended, but really she’s always been part of the SPN Family. Happy birthday, Danneel – thanks for keeping it real!

–Lynn

Source: [x]

[prettywordsyouleft]

Labelling Love | Part 1 (Collab)

Summary: Meeting you changed the way Eunwoo viewed romance and love entirely.

Pairing: Cha Eunwoo x female reader

Genre: university au / romance / fluff

Warnings: none

A/N: Welcome to the second series in the monthly Love In Fours Ways collab with @jackiejacks923​ @noona-clock​ & @this-song-thats-only-for-you​ . In the final week of each month during this collab, we’ll be each sharing a mini-series using 4 of the pictures/concepts illustrated in the book that inspired our series that I’ve credited below. 

Credit to: Puuung - Love Is In The Small Things // #76 , #60 , #4 , #33

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 // Collab Masterlist

Part 1 - Not Being Able To Concentrate Because She's There

Cha Eunwoo didn’t believe in love at first sight. Or upon a second or even a third look. He was certain that it was nothing but a phenomenon of the hopeless romantic. A guise that someone who wanted to fall in love badly held over the top of feelings that could be more easily described as attractive or interesting. Eunwoo had met many people in his lifetime that he could easily commit to saying he was attracted to or interested in upon first sight. Such was the nature of being human, so he thought.

However, love was something that came with time. A feeling that grew with experiences shared together, not something you felt straight away. He was a firm believer of this.

So what exactly could he call the feeling that was making his heart beat erratically in his chest as he watched you right now?

Blinking forcibly in attempts to regain control over his physical reaction, Eunwoo licked at his lips, realising his breath was heightened. Now clamping his lips together, he did everything he could to tear his eyes away from your direction and back to the guide in front of him.

“This is the campus library. I hope you took down notes on how to get here because you’ll be spending a lot of your time cramming here. There are eleven floors and this place houses pretty much every book about absolutely everything you could ask a question about. This area here is known as the main study lobby. Most students find the second-floor study area pretty noisy though so if you’re…”

Eunwoo lost his focus again on the tour and slipped back to you at one of the tables quietly reading a book. Sliding your hand onto your neck to better support your head as you continued perusing the pages before you, Eunwoo gulped as his skin began to tingle.

“Its attraction,” he breathed out slowly, trying to claim the feeling overwhelming him as that. It didn’t feel like enough to say it was mere attraction though and Eunwoo frowned. “I’m interested too.”

“And I’m intrigued,” another voice announced, nudging Eunwoo playfully. Glancing at the fellow freshman at his side, Eunwoo cringed at his high school buddy Harvey overhearing his outspoken thoughts. “Who are you attracted to? The tour guide? She’s like forty, dude.”

“No, but if you are, by all means ask her out when we’re done.”

“So then who? The rest of us are guys. But hey, if you’re unsure and want to experiment-”

“Could you stop yourself from talking instead?” Eunwoo replied dryly, dragging his feet reluctantly as the group started to move along. He glanced over his shoulder back in your direction, blinking when he found the table you had been reading at now empty. Spinning around, he thought he saw the end of your ponytail descending the stairs at the front of the building but he couldn’t be too sure.

Harvey jostled him around. “Whoever she is, maybe you imagined her. She could be the girl of your college dreams.”

“Sometimes I wonder if I would be better off imagining up a new friend than having you around, Harvey,” Eunwoo commented before letting out a sigh.

Perhaps you were just a fleeting moment of temptation, after all.

Eunwoo was simultaneously relieved and horrified to find that you existed the following day at his first lecture. Harvey’s teasing had simmered down somewhat when the tour moved out of the library and Eunwoo began to believe maybe his friend was right and he conjured you up.

Seeing you in the flesh again solved the puzzle of whether you existed or not.

However, as the hairs stood up on his arms and his eyes fixated on the side of your head as you moved across the front of the lecture hall to the staircase, Eunwoo was troubled by seeing you in person again.

His physical reaction only felt greater this time as well.

Not this row, he begged internally as you came closer to where he was set up, closing his eyes when you diverted towards him. Of course, the universe was testing him right now. Still, he didn’t understand why you of all the people in this world had to cause his insides to implode with nervous excitement like this.

“Hello,” you greeted softly and pointed at the seat you had stopped before. “Can I sit next to you?”

“Oh uh um well uh-”

You grinned. “It’s just the centre of the room and the row, so...”

“That’s exactly why I chose this spot,” he admitted and you bit your lip to control your delight before sitting down.

“I’ve always been the only one who chooses by the environment on where to sit that I’ve known of.”

“Well it makes the most sense to,” he managed to comment and you nodded along eagerly. “You have to be comfortable in order to learn.”

“Precisely! I’m so glad to finally meet someone who thinks the same. I’m Y/N and you are?”

“Eunwoo,” he replied, taking the hand you held outstretched towards him.

He had to clamp his mouth shut before the squeak building up in his throat was expelled, his cheeks feeling hot with his efforts. You mirrored the flushed expression before letting go.

“It’s nice to meet you, Eunwoo. I hope this semester will be productive for the pair of us.”

The first lecture was anything but productive. Eunwoo couldn’t concentrate for the first time in a learning environment in years. And when he hadn’t been as focused in the past, it was due to being unwell and needing to be resting at home, not because a gorgeous girl had sat down beside him. He was well versed in ignoring others around him when learning.

It threw him completely to be unable to focus at all with you next to him.

Eunwoo chalked it up to first day nerves. Or anything else he could kid himself of. But after a second lecture with no true coherency of what was being spoken about in the class and then on the third being called upon and blanking over an answer he knew in great detail from previous study, Eunwoo knew it was due to you.

The problem was he liked you too much to try and avoid you. It wasn’t just the physical reaction now either. Every time you arrived early for class and you chatted over topics before the professor arrived. He was enamoured by the way you thought. Conversation was all too easy between you.

Which was why you didn’t hesitate to gesture to his empty page. “Another day of not taking down notes?”

“Hah, yeah.”

“Don’t tell me you’re one of those geniuses who don’t need to write down information to remember and ace all your tests,” you breathed, leaning towards him.

Eunwoo wished right now he was one of those types. He was immensely grateful that all lectures were recorded so he could cram in note-taking later when he was back home. Staring down at his blank page, he let out a nervous laugh. “Nope, that’s not me.”

“Then? Is the content too hard? I could help you during lunch today to get your head around it?” you offered, blinking softly.

He should have been honest with you then, however, the offer to have a meal with you seemed more desirable than anything else and he found himself nodding along. “Could you?”

“It’ll be my pleasure! I can’t have you falling behind so soon into the semester.” Eunwoo groaned out loud as you giggled. Glancing at you with a brief pout, he then grinned. “I’ll buy lunch then for your help.”

“Ooh, deal!”

It was evident even to you after twenty minutes of attempting to explain the situation that Eunwoo was distracted. You didn’t know why, however. At first, he was determined to make his way through the entirety of lunch fully invested in what you had to say. And for that matter, he had been invested enough to hear each word you spoke, they just didn’t make enough sense. Was it because of the perfume you had on today? It had been fragrant in class earlier on, but now squeezed into a tiny table at the back of one of the bustling campus cafes, it washed over him completely. Was it the way you brushed your hair away from your neck and placed it all to one side of your head, exposing your delicate skin? Honestly, Eunwoo couldn’t tell why he was being like this, and admittedly he was growing quite concerned for his sanity.

You were driving him down a path he had never wandered before.

Harvey’s remark about university being known as an experimental time in a young person’s life came to the forefront of his brain. Was his physical attraction to you that out of control that he couldn’t focus in your company? Or was it just you as a whole?

He whimpered with the lack of an answer.

Glancing away from your book, you placed down your pen and sighed. “This isn’t helping, is it?”

“No.”

“And it’s not the professor that’s the problem, is it?” you continued and Eunwoo shook his head sadly. “I bet the content isn’t that hard for you-”

“It’s you.”

“Excuse me?” you asked slowly, brows knitting together. “I’m the problem?”

Eunwoo opened his mouth, only for embarrassment to flare up within his stomach. How could he tell you that it was because of boyish feelings that he couldn’t concentrate in your company? He’d barely known you for a week now. It would haunt him for the rest of his semester if he confessed this early into things.

However, his lack of response had done enough damage, your hands hastily grabbing for your belongings scattered over the table in between lunch. “I’m sorry I’m such a problem. You should have told me earlier, Eunwoo.”

“No, it’s nothing like that!”

“I’ll sit somewhere else on Monday so you can concentrate on the lecture. Good luck with your semester.”

“Y/N!” he called out hopelessly, reaching out for your lower arm. You halted all movement and stared at his gentle grip over your arm.

He knew he had no other option.

“I can’t concentrate because ever since I met you, I can’t stop thinking about you.”

_________________

Part 2

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