#wish i can draw more characters but i was on the verge of giving my wrist an injury kjhkfg
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POV: your name is micah bell
#andre talks#red dead redemption arthur#red dead redemption memes#red dead redemption 2#red dead redemption#rdr 2#rdr 1#art#my art#rdr2 fanart#rdr fanart#red dead redemntion fanart#arthur morgan#john marston#hosea matthews#susan grimshaw#abigail roberts#lenny summers#wish i can draw more characters but i was on the verge of giving my wrist an injury kjhkfg#digital#digital art#digital fanart#rdr2 meme#rdr meme#micah bell#only because i mentioned him lmfao#this is the red cups judgment meme just drawn over again#this is my only coping mechanism to draw fanart for now huh#rdr2
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Valentine's day with yandere! Chigiri Hyoma
class fight - Melanie Martinez
Her face was fucked up and my hands were bloody
We were in the playground, things were getting muddy
The teacher broke us up after I broke her
And my one true love called me a monster~~
TW: Chigiri being so ooc, stalking, Chigiri being slightly sadistic?, Chigiri beating someone up, use of abuse, eruption of anger, one sided crush, reader has feelings for other person, Chigiri likes to eliminate his opponents by beating them to death by fist, idk what to write anymore
*before bluelock, gn!reader goes to same school as him but different class and can put any character of your choice in (random name) space
•Imagine him waking up smiling ear to ear, filled with anticipation and excitement for the day ahead even though he stayed up late night thinking how'd he approach his crush.
•Giving you the chocolate he poured his heart in, specially made for you with all his love, the box is also carefully crafted with attention to detail.
•It's the atleast the easiest thing he could do for you, infact he would do anything for you, no matter the cost. His adoration for you knows no bounds, he hangs on your every word that he overheard, gazes at you with stars in his eyes, and would follow you to the ends of the earth if you asked.
•Ever since when the life changing accident happened(his ACL) it was like a end of his reason to continue on living. He seems like don't really mind about that on the outside, keeping tough play but in the inside it was a pure mess. Plus those Wanima brothers were real irksome shits, on his already struggling self they are here to eat him with words.
•Thinking about the harsh words he heard from them, he was barely on verge of tears while finally managed to sit on the stairs where the students doesn't usually use. Sniffling, letting put silent frustrated huffs when a faint footsteps heard from his behind, him turning around to see your taken aback expression, probably from seeing someone like him in this state.
•"Must be tough. Shits happen right? But don't give up tho." awkwardly stating these words as you give him a stiff thumbs up, leaving him alone immediately. It left the one who was about to cry earlier in wonderstruck, somehow he found it cutesy that you suck at comforting people and it was apperant from your gesture towards him.
•That's how you draw his interest immediately, later then when he gets to know you were a new transfer student, running into you in school halls (but you don't even bat an single glance at him), soon it led him to get utterly devoted to you, the point where he couldn't get you out of his mind.
•Watching you silently from afar, driven even more head over heels for you, for your simple manner, unique characteristics. You stole his heart wholly in the meantime, now he just had to win yours.
•His crimson irises watched you walk into school as soon as you step in, he rushed to go after you. Being the first one to give you the chocolate along with confessing all the words he rehearsed last night, it's the day he has been longing since forever.
•But...someone already in front of you, in front of his love, well soon-to-be-his-love but who cares, seeing someone other with you is painful to his eyes. That person's face is beetroot red, hands shaking uncontrollably while holding the chocolate to you, avoiding from your eyes shyly which you softly chucked at, probably adoring their behavior he thought.
•In reality you were just in a awkward state, chuckled to not to seem so rude or stiff.
•"The fuck?" cursing under his breath, Chigiri almost crushed the box of chocolates in the grip that he wished to be around that person's throat.
•Who the fuck is that nobody to earn your attention on them so easily?
•You accepted the chocolate gracefully, tried to give them a appreciated smile when they seem to get even more shy, covering their face as ran away from you, leaving you stood dumbpounded after them.
•It bothered the pinkish-red haired individual this little that he just wanted to have a small talk with that person.
•The small talk he mean is, approach them in friendly manner and ask them if they have a minute to spare(make sure to ask it while no one's around if not, it'll be a trouble later). Then brought them to a corner outside the school where the smokers usually hang around since there is no CCTV while keeping the conversation normal to prevent them from suspecting things.
•No people in sight, perfect area. Perfect area to lung at them and beat that shit outta with his all might, turning them into bloody pulp, face fucked up too bad to can't even form a single word out.
•He wanted to be the one to confess his undying feelings for you, wanted to be the first to make you taste the chocolates that is full of his love, WANTED TO BE THE ONLY ONE FOR YOU.
•He could feel the satisfaction building inside of him to the sound of fist hitting flesh echoid through the empty alleyway, each contact with the bloody face made stomach churning disgusting slush noise.
•"Let's see if my love would spare you a glance in your disgusting pathetic state."
•Kicking them in the stomach last time, getting a weak grunt from them, he turned to take the chocolate he put far away to keep it clean from getting any dirty on it but the box got smudged by the blood on his hands anyway.
•Clicking his tongue, he headed back to school to clean himself a bit(if he's been seen like this, it'd make pretty bad fuss all over school). Since everybody in class right now, he wouldn't have to worry about running into someone right?
•So he decided to pass by your class to atleast hoping a little peek of you but right when he was about to turn the corner in the way of your class, he saw someone outside, also you leaving the class while your other classmates all hurried to doorway peeking behind you.
•Hiding himself, leaning back to the wall while hugging the box of chocolates, he took a deep breath, listening attentively to the other two teenagers, plus some hushed bickers from your other classmates.
•"Oh, (Random name)!" you voice held a light cheerful tone within can be heard and as soon as Chigiri recalled who it might be, his heart dropped straight down to his guts. The name of the one he overheard about you having a crush on them.
•Peeking from the corner to take a clear look of the situation, it only made his already unstable mind even more ruined. You looking at your crush in awe as they held out a massive bouquet of your (favourite flower or snacks idc), your friends and classmates has been shipping you two, are cheering and congrulating to the new couples that almost every person has eyes and ears knew the power couple potential between you two.
•"From the first day that you transfered here and i laid my eyes on you," your so-called crush starts to open their heart, heat rose up to your cheeks when Chigiri felt himself unconsciously moving on his own, just a moment ago he was behind the wall and now straddling on top of the teenager.
•In a switch of second, your eyes slightly widened upon seeing the ex-football prodigy appearing in front of you so suddenly while tossing the box he was carrying something in his arms to the floor. Not just that... with bloody knuckles and splattered few drops of red on his face... landing merciless punch on the (random name).
•Who would have believed if someone with such slim and frail looking like him could use such strength, with each landed punch, his body shook with determination and his eyes blazed with an intensity that seemed almost inhuman.
•"Is that the Chigiri Hyoma?", "The one who used to play football?" playful teasing bickers turned into shocked even more louder when the students from other classmates burst out their classes cause of the sudden commotion. "Is that a fight?", "Break them out!"
"Chigiri Hyoma...?" you mumbled out while processing the flash of events, still shocked from the thing just happened in front of you. Boys were quick to take the red-haired boy away from the bloody mess he made in just few seconds, leaving (random name) struggled to get up and breathe but seems like Chigiri had already broke their nose.
"Yes! It's me! The one and only love of your life!" while desperately tried to break free from the other boys holding him back, he spoke out shamelessly, trying jump into you and engulf you into his warm embrace but you took a few steps back out of horrification.
With knotted eyebrows twitching in disgust, you glared at him with tint of hateful in your lovely eyes that sent pang to his little heart, made him realize what he had done and even stopped struggling against the hold. You kept on the threathening glare while crouching down to the teenager he was just beating, gently embracing their head.
"Are you okay?" you talk softly with the one on the floor whilst putting their head on your lap in support, one hand holding their hand, other hand caressing their face.
"What a cold-blooded monster..." you bluntly said straight to his face cruelly, entirely shattering his little fragile heart. He felt like he is losing another reason to live again yet the frustration inside him grew even more darker.
"T-trouble with b-breathing..." hatchy breath left the person you holding gently, you frowned at them. Your soft gaze benevolenced the one in your hold as looked up once again to meet with crimson pink eyes,
Maybe this time he'll let you act whatever you want but soon you'll learn to love him... even if means using force on you.
i put isagi on the (random name) space bcz i love him???
posted on my yandere chigiri x malereader fanfic as a Valentine's special chapter (on wattpad) as well.
first time trying to write scenaria? oneshot? style idk whatever is, it's not something fit for me write😭😭😭(i hate it sm)
I APOLOGIZE FOR WRITING CHIGIRI SO OUT OF CHARACTERR🙏🙏🙏
#blue lock x reader#bllk x reader#yandere blue lock#yandere bllk x reader#chigiri hyoma#chigiri x reader#hyoma chigiri
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Hello everyone! As these days I have not been able to draw much I decided to try my first writing for my wish Au, I am very new in these things so if you can give constructive criticism I would appreciate it very much!
But first of all I have to give some warning:
-This is angst
-If you haven't seen some of my posts you probably won't understand much of this, if you want you can take a look at my profile :]
-TW: Blood, character death.
You have been warned, that being said I hope you enjoy the read!
Fear
That's all Haedus can feel right now, he can't think of a solution, he can't move, even if he could breathe he probably couldn't at this moment, all he can do is see Magnifico holding Nembus tightly by the neck with a sadistic smile that reminds him deeply of a monster with sharp teeth.
The whole room is silent, nothing can be heard except for the faint cry of Nembus.
Haedus tries to give a glance to the place where they are to find something that can distract the maniac couple from his little brother, there is nothing, he can only identify the horrified face of Asha on the verge of tears looking directly between Nembus and an unconscious Naos in the corner. To tell the truth he can feel the tears running down his face too, they don't deserve this They are just children for God's sake! I would never have thought the couple could get to this point, but it's too late now.
All he feels is rage and hatred towards Magnifico and Amaya, fear for his little brother's life, but above all frustration with himself, how could he let this happen? He himself promised to protect them at all costs since he met them and now he has failed.
"DON'T YOU DARE DO ANYTHING TO THEM OR I SWEAR-"
"Do what, try to kill me with your useless powers? Or lecture me? Awww you still don't seem to understand the fact that in this world you are a FOOL, you are nobody, so stop pretending to be the savior of a fairy tale" The star was identifying the lord's mood as he said every word, but he couldn't care less when he sees the terror filled eyes of the smaller star as Magnifico tightened his grip even tighter.
More and more you can see Nembus having more and more difficulty to stay conscious, the stars can't breathe and remember hearing that they couldn't be hurt by mortals either, however this guy for some reason has the power to generate wounds to them or in this case axphysize us, or do some damage to their necks, who cares? Haedus has to do something now.
He can hear Asha yelling at the couple and trying to stay as strong as possible, however before he knows it he is already flying at full speed towards the couple, hell his powers are useless, if he can at least get Nembus out of their hands that's enough for him, but before he can even get close Magnifico creates a greenish colored barrier that prevents the passage, the young star can still see the evil expression of the adult.
" Hehe I wouldn't do that if I were you, now that you are close enough let me warn you what will happen if you take one more step and don't do as I say" after saying this sentence Magnifico's face turned into a grim expression as he created an emerald green energy staff and points it towards Nembus.
"NO-" That's all Haedus can hear coming from Asha until he only hears white.
Haedus sees red.
Magnifico stabbed Nembus. The boy's eyes open letting out a scream full of pain followed by a cry that makes a shiver run through the whole body of the young star, if before he was angry now the only thing he can feel is pain ,panic and above all HATE.
"NO NO NO NO NO NO! don't do anything to him please! leave him alone I'll do whatever you say ok?! just don't do anything they have nothing to do with this." That's the only thing that can come out of the major star's mouth at the moment, his panicked look seems to give them a great satisfaction to the maniacs that had Nembus at the moment.
"Oh how sweet, looks like they were family after all wasn't it sweetie?" now it was Amaya's turn to tease the vulnerability of the young couple and the two little stars.
Before the adult couple could continue talking they see the young girl running off in a certain direction.
Oh naive as always Asha.
-ASHA'S POINT OF VIEW----------------------
Asha was sobbing at this point, how could this happen, why of all the people who could help Haedus and his siblings did she have to be the one on the roof that night, now everything is a mess because of her, if she hadn't been so naive, so selfish, so pessimistic-No. she can't be blaming herself right now, there has to be a way to help, there has to be something she can do! Looking around the room she can see Naos unconscious in the corner of the room, without hesitation she runs to his direction, she has to help these children with her life, they can't-.
"What do you think you're doing young ady?" before he can reach towards where the child was there is a green hand picking up the small body of the child with golden curls like gold.
Naos is now visibly awake, but as soon as he regains consciousness his expression changes to one of horror at the sight of the new scenario. Asha can do nothing but stand still in panic "And I thought you were my most faithful assistant Asha, I know you were always....different but I didn't think it would come to this, I feel totally betrayed, after all I did-" The words of the asult man are interrupted with Asha's words spitting like poison.
"DO SOMETHING FOR ME?!!! ALL YOU DID WAS DESTROY ALL MY HOPES JUST LIKE YOU DID TO EVERYONE ELSE, I'M THE ONE WHO CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD GO TO THE POINT OF HARMING TWO LITTLE CHILDREN YOU PIECE OF-"
"Oh please they're just stars! They're not even human or anything, besides being useless compared to us, however they can be a great source of power don't you think? let me show you." The adult's voice is chillingly carefree and humorous, Asha could feel from before she finishes the sentence a shiver running down her spine, something is going to make "No-".
"AAAAAAAHHH" Nembus gives a scream so loud that it runs through the entire room, his golden colored tears slowly turning a dark greenish.
Nembus was pierced by Magnifico's scepter.
No.....no no no no no no no NO! Naos can't get hurt! He still has so much to live for, Asha still has to teach him how to draw like she promised! She still must buy him and his brother candy, she still must take them to that silly parade they have every year in Rosas, please, they need more time, there are so many things she needs to show them.
Asha's train of thought is interrupted by Haedus' scream and Magnifico's uncontrollable laughter as the latter's staff becomes enveloped in a magical golden aura that upon reaching the man's hand causes his eyes to turn a brilliant green. Nembus gradually gets dark scars that resemble the edge of withered tree branches as his screams gradually turn to sobs.
The young lady is enraged, but before she can say anything Magnificent finishes absorbing Nembus' magic as he laughs in satisfaction at having star magic coursing through his body, he grabs his beloved wife's hand as she only has such a delicate smile but one that Asha from afar can identify as sadistic, soon after she too is enveloped in a purple aura as her eyes turn a bright green "I would like to stay to continue enjoying this , but my beloved and I have a party to attend so if you'll excuse me."
Magnifico pulls the staff from Nembus' body with a quick movement ignoring Haedus' screams and the crying of the little stars, then proceeds to make a quick movement with the staff ending with it touching the floor with a sound that echoed throughout the room, now only Asha sees a green flash and then nothing.
Magnifico and Amaya are gone.
The only thing left are the bodies of Nembus and Naos lying on the floor, the latter tries with all his might to go and hug his little brother as soon as he touches the floor but he is too weak to make it. The only thing he can do is to grab the little hand of the other little star before being unconscious again.
Asha comes out of her state of shock quickly to go check on the condition of the two children, but before she gets there someone is already there, Asha can see Haedus panic as tears run down his face with a pained and worried expression.
The young girl can't help but wonder "How could I let this happen?".
HAEDUS'S POINT OF VIEW-------------------
Haedus flies to his siblings, he just wants to hold them in his arms again.
He carries both children as he kneels down, the image in his head where the man stabs Nembus still lingers in his head, but he tries to calm his little siblings just the same.
"You two ere going to be okay! I promise I- I'll find a way to fix it ok? You're going to be fine, we're going to be fine, when this is over I'll take you two to that place they wanted to go so badly with Asha and I, you're going to love it just- please don't leave me...." Haedus at this point can only stammer in panic What is he going to do? He doesn't know how to reverse the wounds of the stars, he knows almost nothing about this world.
His thoughts are interrupted by Asha coming running to see the state of the 3, the older star also notices the panic in his eyes, quickly Haedus passes Asha an unconscious Naos, he won't know how to treat wounds, but at this moment he is desperate, he can't lose Nembus, not his family.
He cradles Nembus in his arms as he tries to examine him, however the sobs and agitation of the little star do not make the task easy "I know it hurts Nembus but you are going to be fine, I am here ok? your brother is going to take care of you but I need you to let me see the wound" Haedus feels his voice shaking but he does his best efforts to make it not so noticeable.
However the little star's sobs are getting faster and shorter.
Haedus manages to see the large wound covered with golden blood covering the small body of his little brother.
Haedus knows what is going to happen to the little star.
Haedus does not want to acept it.
"I know it hurts baby but I have to get you up just- we have to get out of here ok? c"mon, you can baby c"mon, c"mon baby ,c"mon you can we'll get out of this like we always did with Naos remember?" Star tries to carry the child, this only increases his cries "I know baby, I know, I know, I know, I know! Just stay awake yet I- just stay with me please, I know it hurts...."
Again the babbling begins, panic is creeping up on the girl and the star.
"I know it hurts, I know, I know..."
Haedus's voice is getting louder and more desperate.
Asha doesn't know what to do
"Stay awake please I-"
Nembus' cries are getting softer and less loud.
"ASHA HELP ME!"
Haedus turns his head in Asha's direction for help.
"Edus........."
The star knows what the young girl wants to say but can't- HIS LITTLE BROTHER CAN'T LEAVE!
The star turns its head again in the direction of Nembus.
The little star no longer cries.
It no longer writhes in pain.
The kid no longer has the gleam of childish joy in her eyes.
Nembus is no longer there.
"No- Nembus wake up come on little buddy no-just wake up please! don't leave me don't leave me please don't leave me please, I'll be a better brother I promise just-don't go"
Haedus hears Asha's sobs, but soon everything turns to white noise again.
Edus gives his little brother a kiss on the forehead.
"Forgive me please, sorry I'm so sorry, forgive me pleae sorry, I'm so sorry forgive me please…" These are the only words he can articulate as he finishes saying goodbye while his voice grows weaker from crying.
Asha soon kneels down next to Haedus to say goodbye to the little star, but no words come out, only pain-filled sobs.
Nembus is gone.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry not sorry :D
So …… I don't know if it's the right thing to do but some of these sketches really took me several attempts to be satisfied, so why not do a DTIYS challenge?
There is no deadline really, if you want you can participate or not, use any material you want, you can draw any of the sketches I used for this scripture and please tag me to see it! I would love to see your drawings.
Again I hope you enjoyed the reading see you later! ✨✨✨✨
@annymation @emillyverse @rascalentertainments @oh-shtars @tumblingdownthefoxden @your-ne1ghbor @signed-sapphire @spectator-zee
#disney wish#wish 2023#wish rewrite#artists on tumblr#wish#sketch#art#artwork#drawing#disney#TW#tw blood#tw death#tw wounds#aled wish au#wish au#wish star#wish asha#asha x star#wish starboy#aled#wish art#writting#wishverse#wish disney#king magnifico#queen amaya#asha wish#asha#princess asha
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11-14 for luna for the OC ask meme!
OMGGGG LETS GOOOO THANK YOU SM FOR ALLOWING ME TO RAMBLE!!!!
11: what is your oc's weapon of choice? have they ever actually used it?
she has quite some weapons but the weapon she uses the most is a huge scythe with a skull on it (it's the haros' scythe in game but i do not really tend to draw or consider the flames so)! she does not need it to cast spells whatsoever, but she does use it when she's about to kill somebody, which, does not happen often. she made the scythe herself after she killed morganthe. i've some lore made up about this scythe that i haven't quite perfected yet, so i need to give it some more thoughts teehee it's this scythe that she slayed malistaire the undying with.
12: is your oc self destructive? in what ways?
oh god you've never seen self destructive til you met luna. she does not, at all, give a single FUCK about her safety. not only will she willingly get herself into trashy situations, but any injuries she attains in the process, you couldn't ask her to care unless it's a terrible injury. she'll just shrug it off, even if it hurts like a bitch. even then, she's basically immortal at this point, so who cares. not HER, that's for sure!!!! injuries ain't shit. her mastery over necromancy surpasses anyone's, so if it's that bad, she'll siphon some health or something LOL. she's generally extremely careless when it comes to herself though. will barely eat at times, runs on 3-4 hours sleep most of the time, she could be on the verge of fainting during missions and this dumbass would just tough it out. azteca and khrysalis were especially hard times for her in terms of self destructiveness.
13: if you met your oc, would the two of you get along?
i'd probably like her, but she'd annoy the living hell out of me. i'd just tell her to take care of herself and she'd just disregard all of that. i'd be FURIOUS BROOO!!! i did give her quite some aspects of my personality (as i did with all my wizard101 ocs so far), but i'm trying my hardest not to make her a self insert. not that there's anything wrong with self insert ocs cause i fw them hard, i just don't want my main wizzy to be one! the whole reason i also go by hesperia on here (which is more of a penname and i match with my bestie) is cause i didn't want people to think i just self inserted myself haha.
14: how does your oc want to be seen by other characters?
having been made into a soldier as a child, it's in her very nature to want to be seen as this... strong pillar who always helps everyone and sacrifices her health and safety for them, even if she hates the people more often than not. but whether being a pillar is truly what she wants or not, is another entirely different can of worms... because she has absolutely no clue what she wants more. finally be ousted from society, which is unlikely asf to happen, or stay in this position forever because she has no clue what would happen to her if she stopped being THEEE wizard? it's her identity, it's what makes up who she is. even if people are never really thankful and always just want her to do more and more. she also wishes that people would just see her as part of the spiral. as someone who belongs. besides the stuff that was going on with dasein, novus and wallaru were just reminders to her that no matter if she's the spiral's scion, she will never ever truly become a part of it. she helped dasein integrate, but what about her?
#THANK YOUUUUUU#wizard101 oc#wizard101#wizzy101#wizzy fandom#wiz101#🌑 [ luna. ]#🌑 [ luna headcanons. ]
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shortbox comics fair 2023
it's always really nice to see indie comics thrive as an art form, so here are some of the comics from this year's shortbox fair that i've really enjoyed under the cut
(lmao i wish i had to foresight to like. save the official synopsis and preview art for the comics before the event was over...)
CROSSED SIGNALS by mxiiha
f/f, 23 pages.
bro this comic rewired my brain
the use of color is really striking, and the contemptuous, desperate, unknowing yearning between the main characters is just. impeccable vibes. like. someone gets under your skin so much and you don't know why but you devote yourself to provoking them, getting a reaction out of them, and proving yourself to them... the single-minded drive to get them to acknowledge you as someone who means something to them *chef kiss*
French Exit by Elle Shivers
gen, 46 pages. potential cw: sports injury leading to retirement, discussion of institutionalized racism
it's described as a "sports story without the sports" and i was immediately intrigued. the comic is presented as a conversation between a retired skater and an interviewer working for an online news outlet on the verge of collapse, and i think the way it's laid out is so so so interesting!
this layout really effectively controls the pace of the conversation—unlike a more 'traditional' layout where readers can just 'skip' to the next moment of action/dialogue, here every pause is represented with a blank panel on the conversation side and forces us to experience all the silent moments alongside the characters, which is a really cool way to ground us in the conversation
Light Through Memory by Jean Wei
gen, 32 pages.
a historical story about two young astrologers in completely different parts of the world connected by their night time discovery. i found the story bittersweet but hopeful, and the mirrored structure of this comic is one of my favorite things about it. the two halves of the story fit together seamlessly even though the characters never interact physically and don't even know of the other's existence
Marrow by Solane Hong
gen, 39 pages. cw: body horror, gore(? internal organs but no blood)
a good horror gives you enough to realize the implications, but also leaves room for the audience to draw their own conclusions. i really liked that we don't get to see what the characters saw in the last page, but there are enough hints to imply what they were looking at.
and while the reveal would not surprise anyone who's aware of the tropes in dystopian fiction, imo the point and tone of this comic had never been about shocking the readers—it's about the characters finding out, and i enjoyed every moment of the journey
My Father was a Good Man by Adeline Kon
gen with f/f, 39 pages. cw: animal death, gore, parental abuse
a story of a hunter vowing to hunt down the wolf that killed her father, who was a very good man. but the beast she's hunting for might not be so simple after all...
i love how the reveal was handled here, made possible by the subtle foreshadowing laid down beforehand
stinking benjamins by Jade Armstrong
gen (with hint of romance), 28 pages. cw: discussions of death, suicidal ideation, animal death (not the dog)
the layout of this comic is a very cool way to see how these characters' inner thoughts alongside the conversation they're having. i love how not in-sync their inner thoughts are, and it's a good reminder that what your perception of other people isn't necessarily the whole picture
the body from the river by riotbones
gen, 32 pages. cw: death
the lovely preview art and synopsis immediately grabbed my interest. the story begins with the body of a stranger being washed up, and the villagers speculate on who this corpse might've been and what kind of life they might've led before their demise.
i go feral for stories where someone's identity—who they really are—is unknowable to the readers and other characters, so all we can do is use them as a vehicle to tell our own stories of what might've been
The Future Saints by Niv Sekar
gen with queer themes, 25 pages. cw: touches on homophobia
this is very much a queer story, featuring the adult protagonist looking back at their childhood watching a cartoon that felt "kind of gay" with their friend, even though the show might not have intended that interpretation at all.
i really enjoyed how well the art style and color palette fit the narrative about the half-forgotten memories of childhood, and grappling with the mixed feelings of re-encountering something that had a huge impact on you in your childhood, but you discover that it doesn't hold up as an adult
the quiet end of the mundane age by Theo Stuluz
m/m, 72 pages. cw: er... a magic equivalent of a terminal(?) illness? maybe?
the wouldbuilding here is fascinating, and it does a really good job of balancing the romance between the two leads (cute!) with the mystery of what's going on with the magic in their world. there's so much implied about their society here and i really like that they don't really indulge in exposition? i kinda wish it's a full serialized series because the world is so interesting!
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hi! so i’m sort of on the verge of going thru a heartbreak if that makes sense, it hasn’t happened but i have a feeling it may. the dread has sorta been making me sink deeper into despair as life hasn’t been going the way i’ve been planning it to for a few months now. the stagnancy is very frustrating and it’s greatly effected my willpower. so my question is how can i bring my desired life into reality, what actions can i take? i mean this as in making the connections and relationships i desire and just overall a good relationship with my environment that gives me a sense of community and belonging. i want to do this not only to generally improve and have a mental glow up but to sorta get a head start and not fall even deeper when something else goes wrong. thank u in advance!
-P♎️🌌
Hi P!
I'm sorry to hear that you've been feeling the way you've been feeling, but hopefully this will bring you a little bit of comfort.
Firstly because the text on Giuseppe might be hard to read and I think it's really important for you, it says:
"Draw three cards from anywhere. If they do not bring you happiness, put them back where you found them and draw three more. You may repeat this as many times as you'd like. If any other players are looking or feeling left out, share some with them."
That along with the other cards, you have a huge theme of letting go. You don't have to try to make things work if they don't already feel like they're going to work. Make sure anything that you are involved with are something you want to do, not something you do out of believing that they're what you should do.
This is going to sound a bit harsh but: There is no defining Truth to who you are that you need to uphold. It is fine and sometimes necessary to "act out of character", it's okay to change, or stay the same, for no reason other than you want to.
I think part of what you're struggling with is overplanning and focusing too much on progress. The 4 of Wands stands out from the rest of the reading, to me it's about good stagnation. It's all about finding a comfortable place to relax and play, the themes of play and comfort are re-enforced by Guiseppe and the 9 of swords Rx.
Things will happen, and set backs will happen and it's really important for you to remember that how you react to crisis or misfortune is not a damning indictment of who you are. Sometimes growth is reconnecting with who you were before things happened to you.
I think part of what you need to do to feel more connected to your environment is to treat it like a sandbox for you to explore, not a stepping stone to the next place that you want to be.
I think you're in a place in life where progress is more about relaxing than pursuing any grand plans. Don't wish time away.
#tarot#tarot reader#divination#tarot reading#tarotblr#diviners#free tarot#free tarot reader#free tarot reading#playing cards
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Hello, i am one of your fans and i really love watching your content. I'm very sorry to see you've been distressed recently, i know i'm just a stranger on the internet, but I just wanted to tell you that, even if you think you're doing bad, you are already doing more than you might know. A lot of people give up and don't move on, and I mean a lot lot, but you, you've gotten up so many times with each fall, and while it may not seem like that for you, i think that's pretty amazing. It's okay to let it out every now and then, and whatever you do I will support you either way. I love seeing your art, seeing you being happy with all the fictional characters you adore, seeing how detailed and cool each drawing is.
I hope you have an amazing day being an amazing you. Wish you luck! ♡
Anon I...I never know how to properly convey the warm feelings stirring up within me as I read your note...The screen takes away so much of what I wish i could express most vividly..
If the possibility could present itself - I'd sit down by your side, hold your hand and pour every bit of gratitude and mutual fondness into our hold for the kindness, reassurance, and support you shone my way.
Its...I feel ashamed and defeated, having realized just how much i've been hurting the past year, what mess it brought out of me, and how long I've staggered under it. Every single day i but collect crumbs of whatever joy i can muster while the majority of my spirit is still shrouded in darkness. I wish i could shield you all from it, shield you away from worrying for me, for aching on my behalf... There have been countless times I was on the verge of giving up, but i've burned the meaning of what keeps me here so deep in my heart that even when i want to disappear, a big part of me aches to come back from it all.
To be here with my friends, to share the art i love creating, to know that despite all the hurt that exists; We can share on the wonderlust and joy that makes life any bit more bearable. I cannot begin, on how big of an impact you folks have played into this blooming joy...Strangers or not, the time I spent on Tumblr and its community has been a heart mending experiences that constantly, constantly lays a tender, warm glow on me.
I love being here with you all, I love sharing on my artistic shenanigans and expressions be it within my personal paracosms or the fictional characters I adore and it makes my heart soar to hear, to feel, and to experience this love back...Thank you for being here to enjoy it alongside me, Anon. For appreciating me & my art, for writing to me, for insisting on encouraging me even when i feel i don't deserve it with how sluggish and slow i've been with everyone...I want to get better, I want to stay so much.
I hope we both have an amazing day, and an overall kinder life. And once again, Thank you...
#Ronkey Replies#Anon Asks#Tender Vibes#I wish i could stop shedding tears every time i'm met with such kindness#the ache in my heart ebbs under this warmth...As persistant as it is#i know im still far away from realizing my goals...From truly finding the peace i seek. Im still so afraid of the way my negativity may#impact those around me as it impacted my art and ability to stay present#the reason to which i feel unworthy of such tenderness...#But still youre here...And many of my friends and people#and it makes me so relieved...#thank you...thank you for all of it#i never take this for granted
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SPOILERS AND ASSUMPTIONS FOR CAMPAIGN 1!
OKAY, let me start by categorising what spoilers I know as best I can, going (mostly) in chronological order AFAIK:
Clarota betrays them (VERY sad, when I first watched those first 10-ish episodes I was fully behind Keyleth’s ‘trust him’ train)
Vax loses a foot to lava and also his snake belt rip
Kima and Allura are the cool, trustworthy PCs, as is everyone’s favourite, Gilmore, a shopkeep with a black belt in karate
The dragonborn guy’s homeland gets dunked on and then later he dies offscreen
Percy’s sister is alive and betrays them but only kind of? I think? She was held captive by the Briarwoods for years and Percy thought she was dead, but she was blackmailed/brainwashed/tortured?
Vax gets cornered by the Briarwoods alone by accident (classic)
There’s a chick called Ripley who makes guns A Thing for the wider world
Something about a sun tree? It’s a creepy tree? They hallucinate their own corpses on it? Or something?
They probably kill one of the hottie vampires at the end of Percy’s arc, I think the male one? Because the lady vampire shows up later?
Percy dies in his arc and it’s the second res ritual they do, after Pike’s one pre-stream
“Take off the mask, darling.” I still don’t care about romance but I feel obligated to mention that I know that famous line
I also know the equally famous “I thought he’d never leave” bubble bath bit, ah Laura
There’s a CHROMA CONCLAVE attack right at the end of Percy’s arc, somewhere
Rashian is a dragon or something, everyone laughs at Liam for not knowing this. I know nothing else about who the Chroma conclave is (3-5 chromatic dragons??? One of each colour????) or what they want, except Vax levels up in the middle of fighting one and Keyleth yells at one
There are communication earrings. There is also a weird black powder man. Victor?
They actually have a permanent home/keep unlike the Mighty Nein?
Vex dies because Percy didn’t check for traps, this is the start of some deal of Vax’s with the Raven Queen which means he multiclasses into paladin?
Vax can fly, he can fly, he can fly!
Uhhhh there’s a couple cursed swords or something in there lol
Percy sells his soul briefly? Genius move Smart Guy lmao
Feywild??? Somehow????? They meet Artagan and make a deal with him for a doorway, and they spend an episode as cows somewhere in here?
Keyleth has Mom Trauma, I don’t know how much this will feature in the campaign
Vax and Vex’s dad suxxx or something, mother is dead
Scanlan hits on his surprise daughter and everyone screams
They have some kind of year long adventuring group break for some reason?
Keyleth makes a storm on an airship (???) and this is cool. Also she turns into a fire elemental a lot and this is also cool.
There’s a kraken fight? It goes really badly, like LEGENDARILY badly, and ngl I’m kind of looking forward to it
Scanlan #LOSESIT and has his legendary ‘what’s my mother’s name?’ rant, after which he leaves for an undetermined number of episodes and is replaced by Tary
This leads to Grog spelling C-A-T for some reason and this???? Makes people cry???????? Truly something you had to be there for
Pike tries to commission drawings of VM for Tary (who calls Vex “little elf girl” and braces for impact when Laura’s nostrils flare) and this goes Very Wrong in a funny way
Tary’s dad sucks
He writes a book
Some NPC reads said book in campaign 2, hence why I know about it
Grog has an arc to do with the other Goliaths who beat him up for defending Pike’s dad?
When Scanlan comes back he tries to sneak in, Vex chases him and he panics and casts modify memory on Vex, it fails several times, an angsty moment becomes comedic very fast
He is received with Mixed Emotions lmao
Keyleth turns into a goldfish and kills herself, this is both apparently extremely painful and extremely funny
Vax gets disintegrated and dies in a beholder fight (rip)
Gilmore is not a dragon but everyone was fully convinced he was. He also gets bodysnatched or something at some point to freak out VM, but they figure out very quickly it’s not him
Scanlan is Ioun’s chosen? Whatever that means, something to help fight Vecna I think
“It was an honour knowing you” sad! Sad! Sad line! Gilmore doesn’t understand, cheekily responds, and leaves!!!! Liam looks on the verge of tears!!!!!! SAD!!!!!
There are so many true love nat 20s. I don’t know what any of them are except that Pike has one and Ashley looks like she’s about to cry
They win the Vecna fight and Keyleth gets the HDYWDT, Scanlan wanted to save a Wish spell for Vax but couldn’t, so he stays dead
Everyone cries here but at least the rest of the party is okay
Keyleth is the last woman standing and everyone cries at this too
And then Grog uses the deck of many things, spawning two oneshots to clean up his mess
Also somewhere in here Vex steals a broom from a guest (lol)
Assumptions!!!!!
More tears than campaign 2 I think, since there are at least two resurrection rituals we see on screen that I know of
The fights might be more stressful since they’re higher level?
Scanlan is going to be the most sexual and lewd character because he is played by Sam
Vex is going to be the second most sexual and lewd character because she is played by Laura
Vax will still instigate most of the one-on-ones so Liam can have as many heavy conversations as his theatre kid’s heart desires
Keyleth will try and fail to make the group more moral
Pike will not try to be moral at all despite being four feet of blessed armour and adorable hair
I think other characters try to make Percy feel remorse for Murder Reasons, but I suspect he’s not going to feel that guilty (I will likely support him in murderous endeavours unless they are FAR more messed up than I currently believe)
From what I understand Grog is Loveable but not hugely layered or complex, and I know Travis was proud he didn’t cry this campaign. I suspect I may be surprised at the character depth Travis gives him, however.
Keyleth also thinks the gods are overrated and I AGREE
Percy is three feral and eldritch raccoons in a trench coat, held together only by sheer force of will and the fragile shell of a posh accent. No one notices because it’s a really cool accent.
There will be a lot more money/shopping/drinking elements than in campaign 2, since I know Vex is a haggler, Percy is a Lord, and Keyleth is a day-drinker? As are Grog and Scanlan
It will be funny for me to see Taliesin play a smart character and Travis a dumb one, though I know that the whiplash went the other way for most people lmao
Vox Machina will be less team-heavy than the Mighty Nein? I gather they’re more of an ‘individual hero’ makeup than an ‘everyone has support abilities’ makeup
It will be more fast-paced than campaign 2? It seems like a lot of the arcs lead directly into each other, with only the occasional shopping episode break
It feels like it might be less friendship heavy than the Mighty Nein? Like they seem more like ‘we’d die for each other’ pals who otherwise spend all their time trying to draw dicks on each other’s faces
They have a more clear “party leader” than the Mighty Nein, who might be Percy and/or Keyleth
I think most PCs and NPCs are more morally clear cut than in campaign 2, like most towns and people in positions of power are either “cool guy who can pitch in” or “get rid of this abomination immediately” territory
I think my favourite character will be Vex, Percy or Keyleth. I just feel it in my bones.
I think I may also get an extreme soft spot for Grog and Pike, however
My main sources of surprise will be, I think, how things fit together? Like I have no idea WHY they’re in the Feywild, or most other places really, or what any villains’ motivations and backstories and personality traits are, and how they end up fighting any of them in any particular place for any particular reason. I don’t even really know characters’ abilities or literally anything done in any of the fights, aside from “they win/nearly die” and “Scanlan uses Wish and Bigby’s Hand against Vecna”
I assume most plot threads all lead into each other fairly solidly and that they don’t actually seek most of their stuff out?
This assumption will either be fairly right or hilariously wrong, but -- I assume that I already know almost everything important or shocking? I tried really hard to avoid it but being active in campaign 2 meant that over time I got exposed to more and more of campaign 1, and I genuinely believe that I have almost everything down, if not details or order. I don’t think I’ve missed any big moment or impactful arc
Let’s see if I’m right
#critical role#campaign 1#ramblings#Vox Machina#campaign 1 spoilers#c1e01#c2e114#c1e115#will start rewatch (just first episode) either today or tomorrow
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Loner (Junpei x f!reader) 2
Warnings: whole lotta fluff. y/n being dense lmao.
summary: Junpei was suspicious of you. He always felt the world was filled with people who were naturally evil in some way, until you came into his life and challenged his theory.
masterlist
crossposted on ao3
unorganized sountrack
a/n: updates gonna be slow from now on until the semester is over!
Tatsu ramen wasn’t too far from the school grounds, taking your time walking would consist of a light fifteen minutes. The sun would be setting by the time you and Junpei would make your way to the restaurant, the streets being busy with those walking home after a long day. Tatsu ramen would never be too busy with the time you two went considering it was often school days that you two would go and eat after school hours and (sometimes) do homework. The two of you have become all too familiar with the place, the dim-lit yellow walls and red booths become a place of comfort, a place to rest and ease down after a long day of classes and spending time at your clubs.
Within a month, it was a routine for you two. After finishing your club activities, you would always wait for Junpei outside of the school gates, usually playing with the hems of your uniformed skirt and smiling widely as you would see him walk towards you. The first time he saw you waiting he didn’t know it was for him, until you grabbed his wrist and dragged him to the same place you took him to the day before without warning.
It was more you who would go out of your way to look for him, noticing him at school a lot more since meeting him in class. He would often walk with head down, so you would run to him while shouting his name, hugging him from behind to grab his attention. Within the first two weeks of you latching yourself onto him with your presence, he just wanted to ask why. Why did you run from your friends to be with him? Why did you wait after school every day with him just to go and eat after? Why were you so persistent in being his friend?
He would often wonder why with you, but he never asked.
“This assignment is sooo hard, don’t wanna do it.” You sighed while laying your head on the table. You reached your hands out across, grabbing Junpei’s fingers and playing with them lightly. You didn’t miss the way his face heated up at your sudden display of contact. You smiled softly to yourself before saying, “You still get flustered when I touch you. Does it bother you? I can stop.”
You tried not to display a look of disappointment of your face, fearing his answer would be to ask you to stop. You figured after a month of friendship with him he’d be used to it, but you wanted to respect his boundaries and his body language continued to display discomfort whenever you would practically breath near him.
“It’s, uhm, it’s just….always so sudden.” He said averting his gaze to his bowl to avoid the smug look on your face. “Do you just casually touch all your friends like this?”
You didn’t want to admit this to yourself, but you’d be lying if you said his small display of jealous didn’t stroke your ego. That and the simple fact that for the first time in a month, he finally acknowledged you as his friend. That extremely small, and most likely unintentional vocal announcement of friendship was a firm pat in the back for you. With the surge of confidence overflowing, you made the bold (yet not out of character) move of removing your fingers from his, now holding a tight grip on his hand.
“Why? Does me touching my other friends like this bother you?” you teased at him as you rose your head from the table, giving him a subtle smirk.
He quickly removed his hand from yours, turning his head to the side trying to hide his flustered face from you, “I didn’t say that!” he exclaimed shakily.
Your hand that was once holding his shifted towards the chopsticks to the side, picking them up and bringing noodles closer to your face, “If you want, that can be our thing. You’re my favorite friend.” You said as you began to stuff ramen noodles in your mouth.
Junpei continued to avert his eyes, trying to look anywhere but at you.
---------------------
The monotoned lecture echoed throughout the classroom, the words going in one ear and out the other for the room of students struggling to pay attention. Heavy eyes could be mistaken as contagious for those who were fighting to not have their heads hit the desk, each and every student feeling the same internal battle of focusing on their sensei’s words.
You couldn’t keep your glittered purple pen from lightly hitting on the desk, every tap being used as a source of focus to help your heavy eyes stay open. Your foot followed the rhythem of the pen, you felt as if you had to keep moving, had to have something going on other than the mundane voice of the lecturer in the front of the room.
“…and now class, time for a break.”
You sighed in relief as you plopped your head onto Junpei’s shoulder, his body stiffened for a few seconds before relaxing, he was still getting used to your constant physical displays of affection.
Junpei waited to hear your voice seep through his ears, usually when breaks occur during class you take the ten minutes of free time to talk Junpei’s ear off. After all this time, it took you to start a conversation and carry it as well.
The silence was now unfamiliar, sitting with you he became accustomed to regular conversations. He used to crave silence, most words directed towards him stung, but with you he was looking forward to it. Before he was able to ask if you were okay, he noticed you begin to nod off to sleep, until in a split second your eyes perked up when you noticed a movie poster sticking out of his notebook. Your hands slowly dragged it out of the book as you stared at it, it was a “Scream” movie poster.
His shoulder was free from the weight of your head, staring at you curiously as you grabbed his notebook and placed it on the opposite side of where he was sitting, writing in it with your head laying down facing the other side of the desk. He couldn’t see what you were doing, shuffling awkwardly in his sit waiting to figure out what to anticipate from you next.
Within seven minutes, you turned to him with a wide grin plastered onto your face.
“Ta-da!”
He looked down at the paper you slid to his side of the desk and saw a very detailed drawing of ghostface. It was the signature pose, his dark cloak covering his body, holding onto the bloody knife raised before he was prepared to slaughter his next victim. His drawn mask didn’t miss any shadows, even the small texture was visible in your quick sketch.
“I didn’t know you could draw!” Junpei said excitedly, mouth agape as he grabbed the picture with both hands, his eyes widened in awe, “Are you in art club?”
“No, I wish. I take advanced art as a class though. I’m in the athletic club department. I’ve done martial arts and gymnastics my entire childhood.” You brought up your arm and flexed your muscles. “Feel them, I’m pretty strong.” You said with a grin.
Pretty strong would be an understatement, Junpei thought to himself. He brought his hand and gripped onto your bicep, gasping once you flexed to show him you indeed were strong, your muscles putting his slightly-skinny ones to shame.
“I’m pretty strong compared to you, Junpei.” He winced at your comment, about to make his first slick remark towards you until –
“That just means I get to be your knight and shining armor then.”
--------------
Avoiding the pleas of your friends to stay with them, you finally managed to escape the group in search for Junpei. Bumping into other classmates, hovering over lunch tables, even going to more isolated areas of the lunch room, he was still out of sight for you. You gripped your lunch box tightly in frustration, just how hard was it to find the one person in your school that had such a distinct look? You cursed yourself, after a month of friendship and spending the amount of time you did outside of school, you still never managed to get his number.
On a whim you decided to step outside, the cool October breeze catching you by surprise. The autumn trees displaying colors of yellow, orange, red, and purple were the perfect scenario for those school couples wanting to be away from the rest of the school, you knew this. Yet, it was such an embarrassing surprise when every step you would take you would come in a – very awkward -encounter with a couple, whether cuddling or making out, you’d just turn on your heel and act as if you didn’t see a thing at all.
You scolded yourself for even considering looking outside, knowing Junpei he’d be a flustered mess even being near these couples. You didn’t know who his friends outside of you were, so there was no way of you going to ask where he could be for lunch, and you were on the verge of giving up and going back to your group. While taking a detour walking the long way back to the cafeteria entrance, you noticed a boy sitting on a bench under a tree close to one of the classroom windows, a familiar overlapping bang covering the ride side of his face. You grinned to yourself before making your way – of course he’d be in the most isolated place in the whole school.
You ran to him, frantically waving and shouting his name before he finally looked up, giving you a small smile and wave back. Once you got there, you plopped next to him as you let out a deep breath and laid your head on his shoulder.
This time he didn’t flinch.
“What do your friends think?”
“hm?”
“You’re always ditching them for me….” Junpei replied sheepishly as he turned his head to the other side.
“Hey.” You said ignoring his statement, you pulled out your airpods and put one in your ear and one in his. “Give me your number.” You said handing your phone to him.
After he added himself as a contact to your phone, he noticed you quickly send him a link before you quickly snatched his phone from his hand, saving your contact as ‘y/n <3’.
“I made you something.” You said before sending him a link. He checked his phone and the message read, ‘For Junpei.’ With a red heart next to it. “It was a bunch of songs I liked, and I thought you’d like them too. And songs that made me think of you. Let’s listen to some together.”
You were about to hit play before you heard him sniffling next to you. You didn’t miss the tear drop that fell on top of his screen that he was staring at intensely. He had a small smile and blush on his face. Instinctively, you took out a handkerchief that was in your school uniform pocket and bringing it up to him, wiping his slight tear-stained face as he was gliding his fingers through the screen softly. “Are you okay?”
“No one’s ever really...gotten me anything.…let alone made me something.”
A slight frown developed on your face as he continued to stare at the screen in awe, finally beginning to scroll through the songs you’ve chosen to compile together for him. Once his cheeks were no longer tear stained you went back to your original position, sneaking your hand on top of his, squeezing it to grab his attention. He slowly looked to the side to face you, eyes shifting from you and the screen.
“I guess this makes me your best friend.”
He smiles and nods at you, “Yeah, you’re my best friend y/n.”
Your eyes widened at the statement; your breath became rigid as you quickly averted your eyes to the ground. You brought your knees closer to you, wrapping your arms around them and laying your head on top of your knees. Junpei chuckled to himself, he never thought he’d be the one to finally make you flustered.
“Start with Frank Oceans songs.” You said in almost a whisper “I think you’ll like them.”
He started to play the music, sitting back against the tree, bringing his arm around your shoulder and pulling you closer to him.
Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum.
It felt as if a drum was going through steady rhythm in your chest. The blood flow rushed to the tip of your fingers, your pulse feeling like a wave flowing throughout your body. His hug triggered a rush of adrenaline that shot through you like a drug. Taking three deep breathes you tried your best to compose yourself, finally lifting your heard from your knees to see him. His head was laid against the tree, eyes closed listening to the song that was playing.
The roles finally reversed, Junpei finding peace with his hold on you yet you couldn’t help but feel a nervous wreck at the situation at hand. You wanted to feel comfortable, you wanted to engulf yourself in the music just as he’s doing but for some reason unknown to you, you were just so damn nervous.
Finally bringing your knees down, you looked up at Junpei seeing a relaxed smile on his face, eyes still closed before he opened one after feeling you move around. He gave a slight smirk before closing his eyes again, not letting his grip on you go. Breathless, you couldn’t find it in yourself to relax in that moment, he’s never made that kind of face to you before nor has he ever looked that confident.
Twiddling your thumbs and avoiding looking at his face, you felt a slight guilt creep up on you. Junpei, your now declared best friend, finally looks confident and finally feels comfortable with you, so why did you feel so weird? You remember when you met him, he was easily embarrassed and insecure, even you could tell that, and you’ve just met him. He finally shows a bit of confidence and you felt a foreign feeling – your heart racing, palms sweating, feeling heat flow through your body, what reason did you have to feel so nervous about someone you were so used to be around, unless –
Oh.
Before you let yourself finish that thought, your eyes caught another movie poster sticking out from him bag. Seeing this as your chance to ruin this movement, you quickly reached over him, causing him to jump, as you took out the poster sticking out of his bag.
'Killer Klowns From Outter Space’.
“You’re a big fan of movies, aren’t you?” You said as you hesitantly looked him in the eye. Just because you were a nervous wreck internally doesn’t mean you had to act on it, you thought to yourself.
He gave you a closed eye smile before responding, “Yeah, are you? Do you like horror movies?”
“mmm, no. not really. My mom hates this movie actually. You should invite me over, then we could watch movies together.” You grinned noticing the blush form onto his face before he stuttered out an “okay.”
Finally, the roles going back to how they should be.
--------------------
Your ankle continued throbbing as you dragged yourself through the empty halls of your school. The halls that during the day are filled with laughter and voices became eerily quiet at this time of the day. Everyone occupied in their club activities there was no room for useless roaming within the halls.
Wincing in pain, you begin to regret saying you didn’t need help going to and from the nurse’s office. During cheer practice you fell from the top of the pyramid, hurting your ankles as you fell roughly onto the mat. ‘You’re lucky you didn’t twist your ankle, just rest and it should be fine in a few days.’ The nurse told you. The feeling of your pulsating ankle and how every step felt like needles seeping through your skin, you had a tough time believing that statement.
You began to regret taking the long way back to the club room, wanting to take a detour of the halls before having to be forced to sit and watch your club members until the end of practice, until you heard a voice that was all too familiar with you now.
Sneaking to the door labeled ‘movie club’ where the noise was coming from, you opened it slightly while peeking your head through it. In it, you saw a very excited Junpei speaking to two other boys. He was going on about the complexities of a plot to one of his favorite horror films, The Conjuring, you were guessing based on the plot, but you couldn’t be too sure, you hated horror films.
Then you saw it. His eyes bright with pleasure and contentment, the most genuine wide smile you’ve seen him wear since the moment you’ve met him. You couldn’t pass this up, you quickly brought your phone up and snapped a picture of Junpei smiling. You wanted to snap the picture and make your way back to your club, giving Junpei some free time from you and enjoy the first moment you’ve seen of him and his friends outside of you.
But this was you, and with your luck the flash from your phone was on and caught the attention of the three boys in the room. As all eyes made their way to the door you sheepishly opened it, giving a guilty smile followed by a small giggle.
“Junpei!” you said cheerily to mask the embarrassment you were facing at the moment. “Movie club, huh? It makes sense, you do love your movies.”
“(y/n), what…what are you doing..here..and did you just..did you just – ”
“Sorryyyy” you whined as you made your way to the table they were all seated at, pulling out a chair for yourself, “You just looked so happy! I don’t even think I’ve seen you that excited to talk to me. I wanted to remember that face, you should show it more.” You gushed out.
That caused a gasp from the two club members sitting at each side of you and a frantically embarrassed Junpei.
“Junpei, how do you know (y/n)?” the one with glasses asked shamelessly. His face was familiar, you couldn’t help but intensively stare at him, ignoring the blush on his face due to your gaze.
“You’ve been to my tournaments?” You asked, recalling seeing him in the stands holding a sign with your school name on it. All he could do was gulp and nod as you backed up from him, “thanks for your support!” you chirped.
“You told me you did martial arts….” Junpei tried not to stare at you, your uniform hugging your body tightly. The way your skirt was risen up due to the sitting position and how your top squeezed your chest, it left little to the imagination and Junpei didn’t want to feel like he was disrespecting you. He knew it was just a uniform, but the way it complimented your body, the way your hair was styled for the uniform, along with the sweat from your forehead that was dripping...the sight in front of him was dangerous, you were dangerous.
“Yeah and I got bored. This year I wanted art club, but my mom said my future would be more promising if I stayed in the athletic department.” You explained, “So I decided the sport with the cutest uniform. Don’t you think I look cute, Jun-pei?” you said batting your eyelashes at him, hoping he would look at you the way his club members were. His club members gasped at you of all people flirting with their club president, and all Junpei could do was nod his head as he glanced at you for a second, quickly switching his view from you to the movie he was holding on his hand.
“I should go. I bet they’re waiting for me. I wish I was in a club like this, you all seem so relaxed.” You brought your body up, stretching before you pushed the chair back into the original position. “I hope you don’t mind me crashing your club when I don’t feel like being in mine, Jun-pei.” You sang out before dragging yourself out of the room.
“How the fuck did you manage to get so close to y/n?”
-------------------------------
For the first time, it was Junpei who was waiting for you outside of the club gates. Normally if you weren’t already there, he would walk home alone and just see you in class the next day or you would chase him in the halls, whining about how he didn’t eat with you the day before.
He didn’t miss how the fresh colors of the sky brushed upon your skin as he saw your figure making its way towards him. It hits him – seeing you walk towards him with what’s left of the sun kissing your skin, this is what he’s been missing out on while leaving you to walk alone? You grin as you make your way towards him, your usual skip replaced with you wobbling to him. He noticed you coming towards him carrying a box of chocolates and a letter, you just got another confession. It would have been your tenth one this week, not as if he was counting or anything.
Every time he experienced you carrying gifts along with love letters, every time eyes would linger the two of you in the hall, and the dirty looks you seemed to miss when leaving your group of friends to be with him, his self-doubt would whisper harsh words in his brain: what did you even see in him?
“I think this is the first time you’ve waited for me! About time.” You said linking your arm around his.
“You got another one.”
“Yeah, this time from Shota.” You missed the way Junpei winced at the name you just said. His arm unlinked with yours, staying in place as you still walked forward before stopping. You turned to him with a questioning look.
“What..um..what do you think of him?”
“He’s kind of scary.” You admitted, “I feel like his personality is fake. His smile has a bit of a sinister undertone, don’t you think? I mean, we’re in the same circle so I tolerate him. I wouldn’t call him my friend though.”
“You deserve better friends. Yours are jerks.” He spat out, not even realizing the word vomit coming from his mouth. “You reject all these guys…you could have whoever you wanted. Why?”
You brought your hand to your chin, squinting your eyes deep in thought. You never truly thought about why you rejected the confessions you would get; you just knew that you didn’t want them.
“Most of the guys who confess to me are a bit much, I guess you could say. Too aggressive, too competitive, not really on the sweet side. Makes sense, I’m an athlete so naturally I’m surrounded by them and those are common traits in the most successful athletes, I guess.”
Finally, as if a light went off in your head you gave off a wide smile to Junpei at your new discovery.
The reflection of dawn hit you, Junpei saw you as an angel in the very moment. The orange-gold glow bouncing off your body, your eyelashes reflecting the light being given to you by the sky, you were glowing and your sweet voice sounding like honey as you said,
“I like very kind, considerate men…and of course, cute. Now that I think about it, my type sounds a lot like you, doesn’t it?”
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#junpei x reader#junpei yoshino#junpei x yn#junpei yoshino x reader#junpei jjk#junpei jujutsu kaisen#junpei fluff
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Rêverie (An OberonXGudako fic)
MASSIVE LOSTBELT 6 SPOILERS INCLUDING OBERON'S PROFILE AND BOND CE
Summary: Oberon has been unexpectedly summoned to Chaldea. He wonders why he is even there as he reminisces what happened in Avalon Le Fae. But it seems Ritsuka isn't leaving him alone, much to his annoyance.
Thanks to jellyfishy for beta-reading this!
Once again, the story has major spoilers for LB6, Oberon's profile and Bond CE, as well as important plot points of Solomon, LB1 and LB5.
There's implied one-sided love, mentions of heavy topics such as loss, and mentions of deceased characters.
"Master, Master, you've gotten better at this!"
"Thank you, Gogh! I've been practicing a lot using the tips you and Oui gave me. Even Jeanne Alter praised my background, hehe!"
"Hey, I said it was passable. Pas-sa-ble!"
Ritsuka Fujimaru has been drawing something in the cafeteria, surrounded by many servants that come and go. No one asks what she is doing, they all seem to know or if they don’t, they don’t bother to ask.
It is so bothersome. Annoying.
So many people surrounding her, like an ultraviolet lamp that attracts all the bugs. Never mind that they end up getting zapped the moment they ever dare to touch it.
The people, the sound, the merriment, it all annoys Oberon, who only watches in silence as he eats some ice cream with melon.
To be able to smile like that, even after discarding all of those stories...Oberon doesn't hide a crooked smile. In the end, the lostbelts are no more than faint dreams doomed to end, forgotten by the winners, the panhuman history citizens. Ritsuka Fujimaru isn't different. For her, it's like reading the doujin the swimsuit berserker is making. Once the pages are closed, the story ends and it ceases to exist. She can choose to forget.
Truly detestable.
-
Oberon stares and then walks away, just as Ritsuka lifts her face. She looks around, the feeling of being watched faintly breaking her concentration.
But in the end he doesn't say a word as he leaves.
-
“Hey, you keep looking at Master!” Jeanne Alter slams her hands on the table where Oberon is sitting. Said Master is working again, too enthralled talking with Gogh to notice Jeanne Alter slipping away to talk to him.
“Does it bother if I do?” He gives her a crooked smile as she huffs and scowls. Though of course her face turns slightly pink.
“Tch, of course not! It's just your stare is getting on my nerves! Wouldn't you get distracted if someone is looking at you intensely?”
“I am a creation, not a creator. I wouldn't understand what you're saying. Besides, I wasn’t looking at her or you anyway,” he says mockingly.
“Hmph, whatever you say. Leave when Master is drawing, what she is doing is very important and I won't let you make it messy.”
“Hah, a page of your little comic? As if you need a lot of care. But fret not, I am certain that with your keen insight and guidance it will be something so memorable, up to the level of the famous writers here in Chaldea.”
“You bug...Bring it, I will burn you to a crisp! Moths do like fire, don't they? Surely you will feel at home then!” Jeanne Alter laughs. “I'll let you know that it is something so impressive that it would make you cry, if you're capable of that anyway.”
Though her Saint Graph right now is one of a Berserker, it seems the insight of the Avenger still exists deep within. After all, only those who are similar can recognize each other. Fake recognizes fake. Emptiness recognizes emptiness. Hate can only recognize hate.
Though come to think about it, Ritsuka has always been writing, he noticed she kept a small book on her, during quiet times. Perhaps a diary of sorts. It wouldn’t be surprising, to record everything she has experienced, as the writer of the winning history.
-
When we die, we'll become like those stories. Our lives are stories that might be discussed and forgotten, so it's not that different from your midsummer night dream.
A dream you forget once you wake up from your slumber.
“You're a tsundere,” Ritsuka says flatly as she rests her chin on her hand. She even dares to give Oberon a shrug and a smile, as if she can tell the truth between the lies.
“Ah, you're annoying.”
“That's exactly what I'm talking about, hehe!”
An obnoxious smile continues to be on her face, and he simply looks at her with unveiled disgust and apathy.
“Why am I even here?”
“Well, you answered the call, so you can only blame yourself for that.”
“What.”
“The rayshift system call can be refused. That's an inescapable truth. You lie a lot but there are some truths in your words. Or actions in this case. You wanted to be in Chaldea, even if you don’t want to admit it.”
“Ah there it is, your virtuous nature shining through. One day you'll be fooled by someone who is pretending to be your ally...ah, my bad, that has already happened, isn't that right? Maybe you should learn your lesson.”
“Ah, yes. But it doesn't change that you are here. And because you lie often, that means I can just take it whatever way I like. You'll just deny it even if I'm right. But you can't deny we get along pretty well!”
“We do not!”
“See, that's a lie!”
“Ah, I'm going to the cafeteria! Don't follow me!”
Yet we thrive on dreams, don’t we?
“How long do you think I've been in this business? Have you interacted already with some of the servants here? I can tell you don’t mind my company.”
“I quit, I'll break the contract!”
“So, one cube or two?” Ritsuka dares to offer him the sugar cube container, even holding some tongs, just to put the amount he requests in his cup.
“You really want a poisoned tea, right, wonderful Master?~”
Even if they are something that doesn’t exist, we yearn for them, even to make them a reality. No matter how impossible. No matter how painful.
That is why we can never get rid of them.
Even if we forget once the veil of dawn has ended, something of it remains.
-
“There's so much that is subjective. For example, you were Artoria's Merlin, weren't you? For a moment you were Merlin, that was her truth. There's different Merlins, I mean we have different Artorias here from different eras and classes. You were a different Merlin than the one I know.”
Ritsuka is busy trying different colors. Oui and Gogh got into a discussion on how to best get the tones she was aiming for, and they even went to do some research on their own. The reds of a forest seem familiar yet not quite right, not that Oberon was looking at the notebook.
It has to have a dreamlike feeling, that’s what she wanted, but that’s not easy to pour into a painting.
“What we see as a lie or as truth, it changes with our perception. Your lies and my truths might be different, but it's ok. In the end we have only one perspective. That's why lies and truths can mix, that's why contradictions exist. I mean, that is why you are here.”
“Here's some advice from the bottom of my heart, don't quit your day job, Master. Stick to the world saving and leave the philosophical dissertation to virtually anyone else.”
In the end, does the truth really matter?
Something that can change when you close your eyes. Something that is as fleeting as a moth's life.
Would anything change in the grand scheme of things?
To protect Ritsuka, Chaldea forged a story, one where Romani Archaman was at fault for everything that happened.
To the world that is on the verge of disappearing, that became the truth.
To everyone in Chaldea, the truth is that this girl worked harder than anyone to protect this world.
That was what Sherlock Holmes said once they met. Oberon didn’t like him, but in a way he seems familiar. Holmes is a great detective, but since he keeps everything to himself, he might be wrong the entire time until the last minute.
So it’s not like Oberon can take him that seriously.
Even so, he told him the story of the great journey before Panhuman History was at risk by the Alien God. A story of which he was somehow aware, but it seems different when it is told by someone else.
To Oberon, it was a story of selfish survival. A fitting story of those who fight in the mud to continue existing.
To Holmes, it was a story of humanity bravely fighting to avoid destruction. An unlikely event that might have inspired others. Or rather, that is how the Leonardo Da Vinci from that time would have framed it, since Holmes isn’t an author and the current Da Vinci is someone different now.
The events are there, what changes is our perception of them. Perhaps this is where truths and lies take root, the lie of today becomes the truth of tomorrow.
The lie allows the fake existence to continue even when the dream has already ended.
But in the end, everything will fade, so nothing really matters.
-
"Well, I don't know if it has a meaning, but doesn't that mean you can give it your own? Just like how I can take your lies the way I want."
"Aren't you a simplistic one? No, perhaps it is that kind of thinking that has let you get this far. What a naive Master Chaldea has. Though it helps you accomplish your goals. "
He is not sure why they are taking tea while chatting, but here he is. Perhaps it is to hide his annoyance, the Master won’t stop until she gets what she wants anyway, so he is just avoiding a pointless squabble.
"You can think whatever you want~ and in any case, even if the feelings of today will be nothing in the future, that doesn't mean they are worthless. Because they affect the you of today and that is the moment when you are alive.”
The joy of living, that is something Oberon can’t understand nor tolerate. It angers him.
Of course, he is an entity of the abyss so how could he comprehend that?
The will of self-destruction, the cessation of existence. That something is so fundamentally wrong that it must wiped out, for there is no way to fix something that crooked.
Faerie Britain wished for him because it had to be wiped away from all records, because it had no way of being salvaged.
Therefore, he can only listen to those words.
(Perhaps it is the envy of not having something? Perhaps it is the bitterness of no longer having something to do, to dream for? Or simple ennui that no matter what, in the end it doesn’t matter?)
Ritsuka ignores his silence, as she continues.
“I don't know but for someone who likes stories you don't seem like you're actually enjoying them.”
“Would you enjoy a story where you fade away like everyone in the lostbelts you have erased? Ah, my bad. Surely, as the winner you can afford to disregard those stories. Silly me, of course you would be able to believe that as the victor you can claim to be the true history. Panhuman history is in the end mankind's right path, after all, and everything else can fade into the abyss.”
Her smile is complex, almost a facade. From one angle it looks like a forlorn frown, from the other a faint smile. She plays with the spoon on her table.
"Hmmm, I wonder..."
Dr. Roman, we finally beat the British Lostbelt. It was unlike any other places we were, and I keep thinking of Percival's words...
I wish you were still here.
The sacrifice of someone can mean the whole world for a single person. The sacrifices of millions can become a mere statistic, a simple cold number to show how bad an event was. In the end, it doesn't matter.
What was once lost will never come back.
The void left in one's soul will never heal, it only becomes more bearable with time.
But even so, that lingering pain is the proof that someone was alive, that they left a mark on the others they met as one looks at the twinkling stars and reminisces of the never-happening-again past.
“Did you know the true opposite of love isn't hate but indifference?”
“Haaah? Perhaps you didn't think so but I was being honest about my suggestion. Thinking too much will only hurt your head. You should only focus on what's in front of you.”
“Whether you love or hate, you end up putting a lot of attention to the object of your affections, but if you're indifferent to it, it ceases to exist. Perhaps your hatred of everything is because there's something you cannot afford to lose.”
Titania was the wife of Oberon in Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream. She was the only one who could accept the king's eccentric personality.
But in reality, she was just a creation for the story, a being who was never real.
Of course, there isn't a person like that in the world.
Someone who accepts a hollow entity like me.
“I don’t know, if Arjuna Alter was able to come to terms with his own humanity, well...nevermind. I was just thinking aloud.”
(Ideals are just that.
A concept not belonging to this world.
It is when you reconcile with the flawed reality that you can grasp your happiness, the one you have.)
“Heh-Hahahaha, that's rich, Master!”
This is so sickening.
Only Titania could have loved(tolerated) such an unpleasant existence. Only Titania could have loved(tolerated) a being born of hate, a destructive force whose only purpose is to rend everything to ashes.
But the fact is, Titania doesn't exist. This means no one could accept someone like him.
That is the unpleasant truth.
That is why people are entranced(poisoned) by falsehoods, lies to sweeten the body and protect the soul. It's a sweet elixir to hide from the harsh reality, the ultimate end of the journey of everyone, a pointless, worthless life. Because at the end of the dream, no matter what one has accomplished, it doesn't change the finale of this story and it is doomed to be forgotten.
Just as the one princess from before, who also fell in love with the Fairy King. The one who tried to give fire to his cold body. But he didn't notice this, not even when her snow body had ceased to move, a protection of love.
So in the end, if it's not acknowledged, it is the same as it never had happened.
“Tell me, does it matter to you? Are you going to tell me you know how I feel? That you understand what I'm going through? Come on, tell me your important story, that everything is going to be alright as long as I'm not alone-”
“I can't. I don't know how you feel. Even if we had suffered the same, I wouldn't know how you feel.”
Her words or her smile, the same as before. He doesn’t know which but it cuts him short.
“All I know is the pain of losing someone important to me, but that's not what you're feeling, right?”
The Titania I wish for doesn't exist in this world. The Faerie Britain that gave birth to me no longer exists, even if I have accomplished my goal.
I am merely a dream whose purpose has been fulfilled and thus, the curtain shall be down as I exit the stage.
The things I yearn for are merely dreams. Even so, I hope, because I saw it existed for someone else. For another Oberon, not the one I am.
The illusion of happiness, the hope of a love.
I don't know how it is to not be Oberon, the lying king. The king without any other purpose. The villain that has exited the stage having won, but now even that victory is pointless.
Then, why am I still here?
“For what it's worth, I like you. You're nice company, lies and all.”
“You’re an odd one.”
“I've been told that often.”
“It's not a compliment, you have no taste.”
“You know, for Panhuman history I am the hero, ensuring our world survives. But to everyone else from every lostbelt erased...I am the worst of the worst, the villain that destroys their world.”
Ritsuka traces the notebook on her hands. The contents of the rest could be disclosed but Oberon doesn’t open any of the other pile of notebooks, so they all lie on her bed.
“Patxi cursed me for showing him a world that he thought was happier than his.”
Tears fell from her eyes as she smiled weakly. “I wonder if that was ever the right choice.”
“Panhuman history isn't the perfect utopia you can imagine. Humans seek hatred and war, there's suffering and agony. While some can lead happy lives, there's so many who can't even enjoy a warm meal or think of a future. Kirshtaria saw that, he wanted to make a better world because ours was so imperfect.”
“Why are we still going?”
“Why was ours the correct one?”
“Even now, I don't know. And I'm not sure if I'll ever know. Any justification might seem a rationalization, something to feel less guilty for killing all those people.”
“That is why I cannot forget, I cannot let the history of those lostbelts be erased. Even if I'm the only one who remembers,” her grip on the notebook tightened, “I can never forget them.”
Like a dream, one time Oberon caught sight of what she was drawing, finally reaching the dreamy red hue she long sought, depicting the autumn forest Oberon knew and hated.
The words depicting what happened in Faerie Britain, the stories of Artoria, Morgan, of Barghest, Baobhan Sith and Melusine, of Aurora, of Mike, of Ector, of Knocknarea, of him.
“Even if the rest of the world forgets, I cannot. That's why I want to record as much as I can. I caused them to disappear, remembering all of them is the least I can do.”
“That's guilt for you.”
“...Yes, I can't deny that. I've caused many people to suffer, that is why I cannot stop.”
“You're an idiot. Pursuing a fleeting dream that will only cause you to hurt, as your heart tears itself apart with these thorns you surround yourself with.”
“I guess. But someone has to do it right? But even so…
“I enjoy the moments with everyone here in Chaldea and I can say I'm happy.
But I also feel deep sadness for everything that I have done and continue to do.”
There are many contradicting truths, woven into each other.
Like overlapping threads in a beautiful(horrible) story.
“I could think Panhuman history is the correct one because it was there. There was a reason why it was chosen.”
“And if there isn't? If there is truly no meaning to your journey? That the reason your world was chosen was a mere whim of fate, a sudden lucky roll of the dice? That there is nothing special to your world that makes you worthy of the title of proper human history?”
“Then I guess I will have to make it so that there is one.”
“And if you can't?”
“Just because I can't doesn't mean I shouldn't try.”
“Trying doesn't mean you will succeed. Morgan tried her hardest, but in the end, she still failed, crumbling in despair as her Faerie kingdom burnt to ashes.”
“Well, that will come bite me when the time comes, but for now, that’s all I can do, right?”
In the end, as long as it entertains, does it matter?
What is the purpose of a story? To bring joy(tears)? To break one from that moment of boredom, of despair, and heal the soul even if just a little?
And in the end, does it even matter?
-
“I like this Saint Graph more.”
It’s been a long time since he has donned the clothes as King Oberon. Once the façade was over, once he could ascend, he has never worn anything but the colors of the depths of the abyss. Anyone else would think they are unsightly, hateful, depressing.
After all, the warmth of King Oberon’s butterfly wings makes children smile, makes people trust him. His monstruous limbs right now are not enchanting.
“I thought you were a butterfly girl. And I have been wearing these ever since, why are you even saying this up until now?”
“I just wanted to say that. I like the fluffy cape and the butterfly wings, but you sound less pained right now. And this outfit is cool too.”
In the end, perhaps Titania isn't meant to be someone who brings the sun to your eyes, with laughter so contagious that she makes the bitterness of a day go away. She's not a neverending warmth on a cold winter, nor a guiding bright star up in the dark sky. She's not the simple to your complicated, the light to your dark, the smile to your frown, the opposite of your miserable existence that brings joy to your life. An illogical being that accepts you in spite of your incompatibility.
Was I wrong all along?
A companion when watching a wonderful(decadent) play.
Someone who walks by your side in a crumbling world.
Someone whose company makes the poison more bearable and hell, tolerable.
Someone who simply loves me for who I am. Who gazed at the abyss, saw the void yet didn't run away.
Ah, this is so laughable, an amateur terrible tragicomedy, a hideous play with no sickeningly sweet ending.
(Perhaps it is because Titania is a wretched creature herself. Or perhaps because Titania's wings have been torn off that she understands a small fragment of you. Even if true understanding is a lie, a pipe dream. Titania has seen her own hell and can sympathize with yours, with the emptiness and resentment you hold. Not fearing it, not judging it. Just accepting you as the flawed existence you are.
If that is the case, then there is nothing beautiful about Titania.)
But even so...
"...You are..."
"Did you say something?"
"No, nevermind."
Ritsuka smiles as Oberon looks away. He grumbles about the cramped space as he hoards the bed, swatting a mosquito away while she writes in her diary. The boring stories she writes that he doesn't care about even if his fingers have traced those letters.
But even so, he stays.
Ah, love is a bothersome thing.
-
Thank you for reading!
Now, OH BOY WHERE TO BEGIN. Title comes from Debussy's Rêverie. I wanted to play with it, seeing that Oberon's Bond CE is called Pavane for a Dead Princess, which is the title of a melody by Ravel. I am sure it is no coincidence. Both Ravel and Debussy were considered the cornerstones of Impressionism in music, however, they both HATED being labeled like that.
Pavane for a Dead Princess is one of Ravel's solo compositions for the piano. However, unlike what the title implies, Ravel specifically said that it wasn't meant to be a melody of a funeral, but he wanted to evoke the idea of a princess dancing to the pavane. However, some people didn't really listen to him. So in this case, I think that rather than to see Oberon's CE as a funeral to Blanca, it is a way to celebrate her story, even if it didn't end on the happier note we would have wished. You can listen to it here
Now Rêverie is by Debussy and it's meant to feel like a dream, hence the name. The melody became a massive hit, though Debussy later hated this piece because he felt that he had written better pieces but this one was the one that made him famous. Since it was written when he was young, he felt he was still lacking a lot, but the melody became one of his most popular compositions nonetheless. I think that story ties nicely with what we perceive vs what others perceive. You can listen to it here
Now onto the actual fic, I had this vague idea when part 3 was released, especially after all the spoilers about Oberon's true identity. I really wanted to get him, and I was super lucky. In between getting him, his profile and bond lines being translated, I just got possessed to write this as a way to honor and thank him for coming home AND to give him a sort of happy ending after Avalon.
Oberon in that bed is thanks to that comic on Twitter where he is eating chips without any care and the kind reminder of his voice lines that in spite of him constantly complaining, he spends an awful lot of time on our room. Hehehe.
Best of luck if you are pulling for him! And once again, thank you for reading!
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vixen | nakamoto yuta
pairing: kitsune!yuta x female!reader
words: 5.1k
summary: every year, you visit the fox who claims to know everything about you.
genre: fantasy/folklore, fluff, angst(?)
warnings: suggestive, mention of past bullying, one excessively flirty nakamoto yuta
song rec(s): clear and sunny - sou (cover)
a/n: this is for all you furries who aren’t quite furries yet muah (im joking) but aaaa love exploring folklore and also i should put in a disclaimer that not every aspect adheres to the original tales of the kitsune <3 i did not proofread btw and i am very sorry
Some things never change.
Examples: boys, shitty friends, death, and the scent of nostalgia. To you, that very scent happens to be the earthy smell of chrysanthemums and a faint waft of spices from the kitchen in your parents’ house. To you, October is not just another month. To you, there is one more thing that never changes and it is not your belief in old ghost stories.
Around this time of the year, the autumn festival begins in a flurry of vibrant red smudges and a whiff of excitement, in streets suddenly brought alive. The skies are candied orange, and it’s the only time you aren’t tired of home. This time is also when you find yourself right in the clutches of the one demon you swore you’d avoid for the rest of your life. You swore. It’s not your fault that said demon is a little, let’s say, tempting.
Tempting in the most vexing, infuriating way possible. Bewitching, cruel, seducing—all that foxes are and all that you’ve heard of them could not have prepared you for an encounter. Folklore runs deep through you. The memories of a certain fox-boy run deeper.
It is not the festival you are here for.
You yawn, leaning against the wooden door frame of the shop. It would be inappropriate to fall asleep on the job, especially since there are a bunch of children staring idly at you. You close your mouth quickly, resting the back of your hand against your lips. Late afternoon is an easy time to fall asleep. You have half the mind to snarl at the kids to scare them off, their gaze getting on your nerves and when you think you will, you turn the other way. Manners come first to you, no matter how temperamental you get.
The procession has gathered a crowd. Some shouts and squeals from the children make you slump further. At least they’re having fun with whatever stupid game they’re playing. You breathe in the autumn air. A part of you wonders if you simply let your feet lead you down the stairs, you’d be free of this entire ordeal. You shake your head. Temptation has always been hard to resist—never meant to be resisted but you’re much older now. There is dignity to be answered.
October is mild—your grandmother’s shop is still on the verge of collapse, your mother still yells at you for misplacing kitchen utensils and your old friends from school still gossip about who you’re dating. It’s like the script never changes; people change the meaning, twist their words in the same old pattern. If you were a little less behaved, you would have poured your drink over their heads yesterday.
You clench your jaw. It’s always an ‘Oh, you’re so attractive’ and an ‘I wish I could date as many men as you do but I’m loyal to my boyfriend’, or even a ‘Must be nice being surrounded by boys all the time’. You know what they mean. It’s not the first time you’ve been called a fox, and you don’t think it’ll be the last—at least until you decide to stop letting your hometown suffocate you. Maybe you’ll accept what they say. You have heard of what hatred left unchecked can do.
If you’re honest, you haven’t been with too many men. If you’re a little more honest, none of them have ever made your heart race.
You watch the children play with a keen eye, their painted masks ridiculously large for their faces and in brightly coloured clothes contrasting well with the town. You might not be allowed to fall asleep, but there’s nothing against closing your eyes for a second or two.
The image of glinting yellow eyes and a fanged smile pop up and you quickly open your eyes. You don’t know why your heart beats so loud at the mere thought of him, thoughts in which his lips are full and painted red, and his bright smile is stretched upon them. Sometimes, the thought of him is in gentle washes, his hand fixing your hair, or a flirty smile when you dare stumble upon him on a particularly sleepless night. You shake your head to get rid of the thought. That is not love. Some sort of embarrassing attraction, maybe. However, the friendship you have is worse.
“I see you’re a slacker as always.”
Your grandmother’s voice breaks you out of your cycle of thoughts and you’re almost grateful.
“I sold approximately zero sweets,” you snort. “Why can’t we just do away with the shop?”
“You’re starting to sound like your mother,” your grandma calls from behind one of the counters, distaste ringing clear in her voice.
You sigh. “Fine, but… you work way too hard to make these for them to not sell.”
“Maybe they would sell if a certain little lady would stay and help.”
You groan, leaning your head back. “You know I have work in the city.”
Your grandmother waves her hand about, dismissing your reasoning. She fiddles around in the shadows for a bit before coming forward with more boxes than she should be able to hold.
“You don’t have to feel too guilty. Yuta’s been helping out,” your grandmother informs fondly. “You could learn a thing or two from him.”
You’re not the superstitious sort and yet still, your heart beats faster. For him, or for the bad omens foxes bring to a household—you don’t know.
You scoff instead. “He’s not as great a guy as you think, grandma. He can be really mean too!”
“Oh, I doubt that. Have you seen his smile? Impossible.” Your grandmother waves it off before drawing nearer, voice hushed without reason. “Have you thought about it then? He is handsome, isn’t he?”
“Grandma.”
You’re not sure what old women go through in their youth that makes them something of a matchmaker in their later years. You think the whole ordeal is messed up. There is no way you’re going to stick your nose into your grandchildren’s love life; it’s gross.
“These should be enough for the children, no?” Your grandmother asks and you look up.
“You’re giving them away for free?” you question, furrowing your eyebrows. “And you talk about bad business.”
She places her hand on her hip, pointing an accusatory finger. “You’re going to lecture your grandmother?”
You raise your hands up in defeat, standing up to help her with the red boxes of acorn candy and paper wraps of roasted chestnuts. You end up with the entire load in your arms, your grandmother happily shuffling about as she locks up the store.
You turn sharply at the surprised sound behind you. The evening has settled in and glowing lanterns bring forward the evidence, the darkening streets flooding with round droplets of light.
But it is not the festival you are looking at.
Yuta looks somewhat serene, your cheeks heating up despite yourself. You look at him with bated breath, hoping the boxes obscure your face enough to make the vaguely positive emotions less evident. The dark red jacket draped over his shoulder does not look out of place—in fact, he fits in so well you would’ve mistaken him for another face in the crowd if he weren’t stupidly gorgeous. He looks at you with no strong emotion in the eyes before breaking into a smile; and when his hand strokes the top of your head as a greeting, he seems fond. He always does.
“Grandma,” he calls with his best smile, turning to the old woman.
Your grandmother doesn’t need any more convincing of his character.
“Oh, there you are! Did I tell you (name)’s back? I wanted to break the news to you earlier. Ah…I must have forgotten.”
You glance from Yuta to her. Is this another one of her tricks and tests?
“She’s always here this time of the year,” he responds, laughing politely.
“Ah, you remembered,” she says, eyes crescent as she smiles back. “Help her with the boxes. The city has made her so frail.”
“I’m good,” you choke on the words, hurriedly moving away and almost dropping one of the boxes.
You slip on your sandals and scurry off faster, wishing he’d just stay behind. He always has. The air makes you shiver but you’re adamant; and it’s not the only trait of yours to make relationships fail.
“You know, you should be nicer to old friends.”
You try not to react when Yuta takes the boxes from you, matching your pace almost effortlessly.
“I thought foxes ran away once they’re found out,” you snap, reluctantly letting him take the packages.
Yuta rolls his eyes. “I see you still aren’t very fond of me.”
“Not when you’re tricking my grandmother like this,” you hiss.
“You call helping trickery?” he retaliates.
“Foxes bring bad business,” you mutter.
“I’m the reason your grandmother’s business is somewhat above the water.”
You sigh, exasperated. There’s no point in wasting your breath. You look away, crossing your arms as you walk, the silence between the two of you suddenly awkward. Even so, you’re not going to open your mouth for him.
“Would you two slow down?” your grandmother calls, voice weary. “We’re already there.”
The two of you halt in your tracks immediately, taking mellow steps back to her. She looks over the two of you with furrowed eyebrows and you try to think of an explanation when she starts laughing.
“Oh, I don’t mind the two of you flirting,” she says, littered with slow laughter. “Just make sure the food is where it’s supposed to be.”
You’re about to refute when Yuta laughs, the sound still boyish and lively. “Of course. (name) missed me so much this year, she couldn’t help herself.”
You give him a pointed look which he ignores, deliberately or not. “We- I wasn’t—”
“Grandmother, if you’ll give us permission,” he interrupts, settling the packages on the table by the food stall and smiling wide. “We’ll go enjoy the festival now.”
She bobs her head in affirmation and Yuta grabs your hand to pull you into the bustling street, your silent plea for help ignored by your smug grandmother.
“What are you doing?” you ask, slipping your hand from his. “You aren’t- You aren’t trying to eat my liver, are you?”
“Why the liver? Can’t I have the rest of you too?”
It’s not like you were particularly alarmed but his response makes you feel a flush of embarrassment.
“It’s been a year since I last saw you,” he says before his voice turns a shade cooler. “Have you thought about my proposal?”
You fall silent. The overthinking started last year too. Your thoughts and dreams, so easily pervaded by him and all it took was one sentence.
“We should get married.”
“Why did you even think I’d agree to that?” You try not to get too flustered. He knows all your petty weaknesses and you’d rather not have them on display for him to stare and pick at. “What the fuck would I get out of marrying you?”
Yuta whistles. “I like your tongue. But—yes, to answer your question, you’d get a very handsome and capable husband. Your bed will always be warm and oh, speaking of beds—”
You clamp your hand over his mouth at the suggestive look he sends, worried about being spotted by one of your school friends. Ah, right—friends, the very same people that smell of jealousy and won’t miss any opportunity to throw a jab your way. Friends. You can’t believe you’re still afraid of their judgement.
“And why do you want to get married to me?” you ask, looking into his eyes.
There’s a pause, filled with the chatter of the crowd.
“You look like you’re afraid of finding someone,” he speaks finally, ignoring your question. “Or is it the other way around?”
You roll your eyes, ready to walk off when he grabs your wrist to pull you closer to his chest. It draws some looks from nearby people, your eyes darting from face to face in fear. You take a deep breath and look at Yuta again, almond eyes distracting.
“People will think we’re lovers,” you whisper, almost a hiss.
“What’s wrong with that?”
You breathe out in disbelief. “You’re really something.”
“What? Why did you always come to meet me then? Behind the keyaki tree?”
“It wasn’t for you,” you lie quickly. “I had nothing better to do.”
Pining after a fox? You could never have feelings for him. Even so, your answer comes off childish and silly, and somehow he’s the only one to be able to draw that side of you—the you that is messy and unprepared.
Yuta smiles in return. “You think people can’t fall in love with us the same way they fall in love with most everything.”
It’s a statement, not a question.
“How conservative of you,” he leaves with an airy remark, but not before urging you to follow him.
The sizzling sound of food being fried and the knocking, clicking sound of children playing games, all these forgotten sounds grow louder and for a second, if only you let yourself, you could close your eyes and it would be just like your first date.
No. It’s different. You look up, eyes trailing over Yuta’s back, his golden hair, how his figure moves with ease and confidence.
It is different.
You raise an eyebrow at the box of takoyaki Yuta shoves towards you, an expecting look across his face.
“You like this, don’t you?” he asks, an uncharacteristic hesitation in his voice.
You hum in response, taking the box from him and saving yourself the trouble of asking whether he paid for it or simply charmed his way through.
“Eh, no thank you?” he complains. “How polite.”
You scrunch your nose to accompany an exaggerated smile and he laughs, the two of wandering over the asphalt streets. Your hands are close enough to brush—and if a twenty-something year-old woman can feel jittery because of it, hands truly are meant to share warmth. The smell of candy and caramel fills the air, making you smile. You’ve saved enough for the taste of home, you think.
The taste of home.
Inevitably, the thought of kissing your companion crosses your mind and you stop in your tracks. Whatever. It must be natural when someone as attractive is beside you. Those aren’t feelings. You curse yourself for feeling like a teenager again.
The festival grounds aren’t as shabby as you expect them to be. The city,—if you could call this one—stops here and the earth spreads out to the forest behind. The crowd also thins, and you take a fresh breath. They’re selling old books in the corner, but no one seems to be there.
“The raccoon dogs,” Yuta whispers in your ear, with an arcane smile. “Want to visit those rascals?”
You roll your eyes. He knows you’ve heard one too many folktales for a lifetime, seen one too many. It’s time to go home, especially now that the thought of thanking him crosses your mind. You’re about to turn when your shoulder crashes into someone else’s. A surprised, syrupy smile greets you, which you cannot return for the first few moments. Yui’s smile wavers and you flash her a quick smile. A friend. Her arm is looped through her lover’s, the one she never shuts up about and suddenly the urge to pour water over her head returns.
Yuta glances from you to her before pressing his lips together, as if suppressing laughter. You’re almost offended when Yui laughs flippantly.
“You’re on a date too? I knew you couldn’t stand spending the festival alone,” she says, tugging her lover closer.
People have always told you who you are and what you do. As if they know better.
You smile awkwardly. “It’s… actually not—”
“Oh, don’t be shy.” She gently pats your shoulder before leaning in. “He’s a real catch. As expected from you. You can never leave the boys alone.”
You know what she really means. You’ve heard the same words in high school when she was shoving you into a wall behind the school. The sickening smile is still on her face.
You gulp, feeling sixteen again. The lack of people around somehow makes it more awkward and you’re about to excuse yourself when suddenly, Yuta bumps into Yui and his warm drink spills over her left shoulder. Your eyes widen, more in confusion. When did he leave? You don’t doubt his ability to sneak past people, but surely you couldn’t have been so enraptured in your own feelings that you barely noticed.
“I’m so sorry,” Yuta says, voice honeyed with surprise.
Yui looks like she’s about to explode when she looks at him, her expression dropping to a calmer one almost immediately.
It’s an easy look to recognize. They always have it when they first meet Yuta, whether it’s the smile that’s too dazzling or the pretty round eyes.
How persuasive, those eyes.
“Ah… I must have not seen you,” she says faintly, and Yuta’s smile widens.
Before he can stir up more trouble, you slip your arm into his and pull him away, not caring for another polite apology to an old, almost nameless face.
“I was having fun,” Yuta complains, voice still smug and calm.
You glare at him and it only seems to add fuel to the fire, to whatever cold fire dances at his fingertips.
“You’re happy, right? Don’t look at me like that. You should reward me.”
You don’t respond, looking away and hoping to get at least a word in about how troublesome he is every single time you visit. Yuta has other plans, however. Leaning his head to look you in the eye, he maintains a distance which looks perfectly decent but feels less than so.
“How about a kiss? I deserve one, don’t I?” He moves his head closer to yours, making you shy away.
You grab him by the belt and pretend to not catch a glimpse of the pleased look on his face as you drag him into a secluded part by the forest.
It’s quieter here, so much that you can almost hear your own heart drumming in your chest, and the faint light of the distant festival grounds doesn’t help much at all. It’s dark as dusk, and you can only make out Yuta’s jawline and a faint smirk over his lips. You think that if a fox ever wanted to eat your liver, this would be the perfect spot.
“You did something,” you finally utter the words. “You did something to me.”
“Why do you think I did something? Do you mean love?” he responds with a cheeky smile. “This means you’ve been thinking about me? How cute—”
“Yuta, stop it,” you warn.
“Or what? You should stop me yourself.”
You grab the lapels of his jacket, the cloth bunching as your knuckles turn white. The anger you feel isn’t the first of its kind—it’s just a little funny how it’s always Yuta every time, making you remember the burning feeling time and time again. You find yourself unable to respond.
“Oh, don’t hold back,” he provokes, leaning in.
You push at his chest in exasperation, but he grabs your wrists before you can retract your hands.
“Scared?” he whispers.
You pull apart anyway, a scowl over your lips. “You’re as annoying as ever. Don’t you have anyone else to bother?”
“Ooh! Sharp claws. You’d be lovely as my fox-bride.” he teases.
Your face flares with heat. “I’m not your… I’m not a fox.”
“I didn’t say a fox, I said—”
“I know what you said,” you snap, massaging your wrist so you don’t have to look at him.
Yuta falls quiet for a moment, voice lower when he speaks again.
“Is it so nasty to be called a fox? There are worse things, you know.”
You scoff, growing increasingly annoyed. “Of course you’d say that. I hate it. I hate this town. I hate foxes and I hate you.”
Yuta places a hand over his chest, gasping with no emotion. Your eyes linger over his long, painted nails a little longer before you meet his eyes. A part of you regrets saying the words but you couldn’t help it. The shroud choking your hometown makes you want to scream at the top of your lungs every time you’re here. You hate this place.
But you don’t hate him, after all.
You try to clear yourself of the thought. A gentle gust of wind brings you back to the present, Yuta still glancing at you with no giveaway to what he’s feeling.
“You wouldn’t make a terrible fox though,” he says, eyes sharp. “Don’t they know you’re a vixen already? How many livers will you eat?”
You suck in a breath, tears stinging at your eyes. However, it’s not like you to get so easily affected by him. No. No, somehow that doesn’t make sense either. Those words do hurt from Yuta and you’re not sure if it’s just because he's the only one you didn’t expect them from.
“You…”
“What? Aren’t you going to lash at me again? You’re so predictable.”
His voice is calm despite your obvious annoyance and you feel flames lick at your heart. Your hand moves before you can think, about to meet his cheek when he grabs your wrist. You struggle, trying to pull free but to no avail and you use the other hand to hit him in the chest. Unsurprisingly, it doesn’t bother him and that same feline smile curves up his lips.
You feel something you haven’t before, a warm growl at the pit of your stomach.
You push with all your strength, catching Yuta off guard and he stumbles backward but not before pulling you into him. Consequently, either of you lose footing and land on the grass with a sudden thud, Yuta’s side pressed against yours. His hands still clutch your wrist, and he shifts to hover over you.
“We used to wrestle like this as a litter,” he says, erupting into full laughter. “Ah, memories. I don’t even know if they’re alive or dead now.”
Yuta is much stronger than he looks, and he’s taken your tantrum as a source of amusement much to your infuriation. He has your hands pinned back, eyes unaffected as he scans over your face. You try to shift but there’s just too much weight on you. You breathe slowly, chest rising and falling in time with his. His earrings sway gently in the wind, dangling a few inches above you—he’s pretty, so pretty. Admitting defeat has never been your forte but now that your senses are gathering again, you feel a flush of embarrassment for losing your temper.
Or perhaps, it is something else when you register the lack of distance between your noses.
“Playtime’s over,” Yuta coos. “You’re kinda cute when you’re losing.”
He tilts his head, an adoring smile over his lips. For a moment, they’re all you see.
Can a fox comfort you? Can a fox make you feel loved on the darkest of nights? Your mind races with questions your heart does not want to answer.
Yuta leans in to close the distance and despite every nerve in your body, you turn your head away. You can hear him gulp, the following moments painfully quiet before he gets up. Your breath is soft and shallow, lying on the ground till you get enough courage to sit up.
You almost gasp. His tails are clearer under the dim moonlight, all nine of them golden and luxurious. The light hitting his face isn’t any less flattering and once again you are reminded of how handsome he is, fairytale or not.
Yuta looks uncomfortable, and that’s a first for you.
“I’m sorry,” you say, though you don’t know why.
He waves his hand dismissively, annoyed.
“Yuta,” you take a step forward.
“I see the way you look at me,” he says quietly, “Is it not want?”
You fall silent, biting your lip so you don’t retort violently. He doesn’t look particularly malicious when he says that but you do not want to give him the satisfaction of an answer yet.
He quietens for a moment before a look of curiosity flashes across his features.
“What is it then?” he asks. “Is it a secret? Foxes love secrets. Tell me.”
Despite every bone in your body burning up, you find it in yourself to laugh.
“I don’t think I could keep a secret from you if I tried,” you finally say, before bursting into soft laughter again.
Yuta looks at you puzzled, lips parted while he stands frozen as if he were a painting. A daunting, reckless, heavenly painting.
“It’s not want,” you answer quietly. “It’s more than that. Even if I hated it. I like you.”
Yuta’s ears perk up at your confession. “So- so you admit, then? You are interested?”
“I could blame you for this, you know?” You shrug, hugging yourself once the night starts to feel cold again. Yuta begins to take off his jacket when you stop him, gently pressing your palm against his chest.
“You’re a fox, after all,” you whisper. “Like me. What they think of me.”
Yuta purses his lips. “Does it really hurt you? No, wait. Did they- did they—”
“Now, you tell me,” you cut him off. “Why do you insist on getting married—to me?”
There’s a pause. The crickets chirp a merry tune despite the leisurely darkness of the night.
“You’re not terrible,” he says, nonchalantly.
You glare at him and he raises his hands in defeat. He looks wearier the more you look at him.
“I want to grow old,” he mumbles after a long pause. “Properly.”
You hold your breath.
“And you want to do it with me?”
Another flower blooms in your chest, as if he hasn’t planted a garden in there already. The lights from the festival flicker down, the lanterns burning brighter in the distance. He glances at them for a moment, your eyes still fixated on him.
The tails glow even brighter in the dark, as if gold in broad daylight. You’ve always been curious about him and his kind, all the stories; but he says he’s too old to remember if you ask.
You reach out to touch one of the tails, wondering if the fur is as warm as it looks. They’re pale and captivating, but they look so soft—they shouldn’t belong to an animal so vicious. Is he, though? Is he all that you think he is or have all these years failed you? If anything, he’s quite probably not as much a fox as you are, you think bitterly.
The fur is warm, but the realization is short-lived.
A short growl leaves the corner of his mouth. Yuta glares at you like he was stolen from and yet, you do not move your hand. Some part of you wants to aggravate him further.
“I’m not a pet,” he snaps. “Stop that.”
“You should stop me yourself,” you mimic his voice.
Yuta’s shoulders relax, and he looks down but you can still see the trembling smile on his face. It’s the way he looks at you, you think to yourself, maybe that's the reason after all.
“Don’t look at me like that,” you say, feeling warmer than the autumn night should allow.
“Like what?” he asks, still smiling.
You look away.
“You’re not too fox-like, you know?” you mumble. “You’re just annoying. And flirty. And annoying.”
Yuta chuckles, before pressing his palm to the top of your head.
“And you’re lovely.”
You give in to the gesture of affection, leaning your head to press against his shoulder.
“Why do you even do all this? What do you get out of it?” you say, voice muffled. He hears you clearly, however.
“Because I love you,” he responds, as if coming to terms with it himself. “More than you think.”
There is no joke, no flirtation to his tone, no decoration upon his words. It’s plain, and laid bare. And sometimes, simplicity is scariest.
You pull back, lips pulled into a frown. The air is cold once more; the longing for warmth flowing into you. The silence is worse.
“You don't believe foxes can fall in love,” he states softly upon a wavering smile. “I knew that. Of course.”
A part of him believes it too.
“I…” you begin, and for the first time, you are afraid of promises in the name of love. You are the one making them now.
“I’ll believe you,” you whisper, “I’ll believe you so please… please take care of me.”
You place your palm against his cheek, his skin bewitchingly warm.
“Only if you take care of me,” he whispers back, leaning in.
This time, you do not move.
The lovers’ kiss you’d been searching for—lovers’ warmth, lovers’ comfort—all of it comes crashing down once Yuta tightens his arm around your waist, the other hand resting gently at the base of your neck. He kisses with the right amount of pressure, the vague taste of sweet berries in his mouth.
You used to fear his touch, like he would eat you whole; even if they have been gentle, always. This time, you might as well let him. He presses his lips from your cheek to jaw to neck, lingering at each spot enough to make you clutch at his shirt tighter, taking in short gasps of breath. You kiss for a little longer, like time means nothing.
“We should go back,” you whisper, pulling apart.
Yuta kisses you again, the distance unacceptable.
“Yuta—”
He kisses you once more, your calls falling on deaf ears.
Finally, after another long kiss, he pulls apart enough to rest his forehead against yours, eyes still closed.
“It must have been hard for you,” he mumbles.
“You don’t have to worry about that,” you scoff.
“Foxes are faithful lovers, you know?” he insists.
You laugh. “What do you mean?”
“It means I’ll follow you everywhere.”
He stands up straight, his thumb stroking your cheek as he bites back a smile.
“I don’t think we should get back tonight,” he suggests all of a sudden. “We could book a hotel. That’s the place you use these days, right? I’m sure your grandmother will understand your absence—”
You groan, resting your forehead against his shoulder and he presents a delighted laugh in return. It is warm by his side; he is warm. You find it easy to forget the failures in love, the loneliness of a lover that isn’t meant to be yours. Folktales are just long tales, after all. You smile to yourself.
You should’ve known—it was the fox all along.
#yuta x reader#nct x reader#cznnet#nct 127 x reader#nct imagines#yuta imagines#yuta fluff#nct yuta#nakamoto yuta#nct au#nct 127 au#yuta scenarios#nct scenarios#nct 127 scenarios#nct fluff#nct 127 fluff#nct yuta x reader#moonwrites#i literally dont even know anymore </3#the dialogue is so cheesy if you want to find me and complain ill be lying face down on the floor in my room#posting this before im too embarrassed to <3333
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Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Levi Ackerman/Hange Zoë, Levi Ackerman & Hange Zoë Characters: Levi Ackerman, Hange Zoë Additional Tags: Jealousy, LeviHan Drabble Week, Choking, Praise Kink, Explicit Sexual Content, Anniversary, Switching, Smut, I haven’t written smut in a long time please bear with me Series: Part 7 of Short Fics Summary: He keeps staring at Hange. Hange doesn’t notice. Levi does. Hange and Levi were out on a date for their one year anniversary on a beautiful Saturday night. They sat outside in a fancy restaurant. Small fairy lights wrapped around the perimeter of the property. A pianist was playing a song in the main lobby, softly making its way to the outside area where the couple was dining. Everything was going swell, until Levi happened to look to his right. When he did so, he saw a man staring at his girlfriend. At first, he thought his eyes were deceiving him. It wasn’t until Hange had stood up to go to the bathroom when he noticed this man gawking at her, looking her up and down. She looked absolutely ravishing; she wore a beautiful, silk, ruby red dress with a slit exposing her right leg that hugged her curves in all the right places. Her matching red heels accentuated her toned quads and calves. He knew she wasn’t one to dress up, but her extra efforts didn’t go unnoticed. Levi almost got hard just looking at her for the first time that evening. Levi decided to take matters into his own hands. He left his jacket at their table and started walking over to the man. This man was definitely taller than Levi with a broad chest and slick blonde hair. “Are you eyeing my girl?” Levi sneered, his eyes piercing through the blonde man. “So what if I am? With you being so short and all, do you have the goods to compensate? Is that why she’s with you? I’m just thinking about all the ways I can please her that you can’t.” the blonde replied, his hearty voice chuckling. Levi discreetly kneed the man in his crotch, causing him to buckle over, his head at Levi’s height. “Oh, you wish. I’ll make sure I fuck her in ways you can’t even imagine with your pea-sized brain. Have a good fucking evening.” Levi saw his girlfriend approaching him so he gave her a small smile and they interlocked arms. As they walked away, Levi flipped off the blonde man. Levi went to the table to grab his jacket before they left the restaurant. “Levi, thank you for everything. Happy one year,” Hange said softly. Her voice was sweet and seductive. “No need to thank me, four-eyes. Happy one year.” “I can’t believe you still call me that.” “You still wear glasses, don’t you?” Hange laughed at his comment, her laugh almost taking his breath away. When they got to Levi’s car, he opened the door for her. She nodded her head before getting inside. Levi shut the door, ran around, and got in the driver’s seat. “Levi, you look so handsome tonight,” she said, admiring her boyfriend. “God, I am so lucky.” He visibly smiled at her. Hange knew he didn’t smile very frequently, so she always savored the moment whenever she got the privilege. As Levi drove them home, he started to become insecure. Maybe he wasn’t enough for Hange. Maybe he couldn’t please her. Maybe he was lacking in different areas that she wouldn’t say. He didn’t understand why he let that man get to him; he decided it was because he was staring at his girl. He was broken out of his trance when Hange placed her hand on his inner upper thigh. The warmth of her hand sent blood rushing to his dick instantaneously. She secretly loved the power she held over him. He moaned ever so softly when she did this, and she noticed. “Hange,” he said sternly. “I need to focus.” He didn’t want to be persuasive though. “We’re on our street, silly.” He parked the car, trying not to look too eager as he unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car. He already had his keys in his hands once they entered the apartment building. Getting to his room, he quickly unlocked the door, allowing Hange to enter first. She quickly kicked off her shoes, as did Levi once he shut and locked the door. “Hange, you-“ Her hands were already untying his tie as she passionately kissed him. His hands were placed at her waist, feeling the silk fabric beneath his fingertips. He squeezed slightly, feeling the soft skin of her belly underneath. They didn’t break the kiss as they entered the bedroom. Levi was already unbuttoning his top. She pushed him onto the bed with a slightly forceful shove. It turned Levi on instantly. He loved when she pushed him around. He felt his face flush as he became flustered. She knelt on the bed, crawling towards him. He got a revealing view of her boobs and cleavage. He reached out to touch her right one, squeezing it. It felt soft, too soft. “No bra tonight,” Hange mentioned, winking as she straddled him. Levi let out an overwhelmed sigh. He cupped it, squeezing firmly again. He loved how soft they felt in his hands. How they were small but perfectly so, fitting in his hands. They slightly overfilled his hands which he loved. His other hand slid up her smooth, freshly shaven thigh. “No panties either?” he asked, kissing and nipping her collarbone. “Why don’t you find out?” she teased, wrapping her hand around his neck, choking him. The sensation of her hand on his neck made his dick throb harder underneath her. She giggled. “You like that?” she asked, starting to kiss her way down his neck to his muscular chest and abdomen, not giving him a chance to check if she was bare underneath. She brushed her fingertips over his abs. She felt extremely lucky. “Yes,” he moaned, starting to unbuckle his belt. He melted whenever she touched him; He needed her. One of the straps of Hange’s dress was hanging off her shoulder. Levi did the honors of pulling the dress down to her stomach, exposing her round breasts. The sight made Levi sit up on his knees, pushing her onto her back. He kissed her lips sloppily before beginning to suck on her nipple. The feeling caused Hange to start throbbing too, aching for him. He choked her as he kissed and bit his way down to her throbbing, soaked region. He enjoyed how she got so confident when touching him, but once he lays a hand on her, she is a horny mess. He pulled the dress off her torso, leaving her bare. She was, in fact, wearing a black, lacy thong. He began to kiss over where her clit was, warming the area. It caused her to squirm underneath him. “Levi… fuck!” she moaned. “Please touch me.” “I am touching you,” he retorted, licking the inside of her thighs. His warm, wet tongue caused her to shiver, her legs opening wider. He moved her thong to the side, exposing her pussy. He could see her clit and opening throb. I did this to her, he thought. I guess I’ve still got it. “Y-you know what I mean,” she panted, pulling her panties off entirely, Hange’s legs pressed together in the air to do so. He respectfully pulled her thighs apart, gripping the inside of each, soft thigh. He put his tongue on her clit, drawing small circles. He attempted to write his name in cursive with his tongue. Her moans sounded like one from a goddess. His fingers almost slipped into her opening since she was so wet. “Why are you so wet?” he asked, already knowing the answer. “It’s your fault, Levi. Now, clean me u-“ She didn’t even need to finish speaking before he shoved two fingers inside her, still working his magic on her clit. She was moaning louder now, on the verge of screaming. “Fuck, Levi. Fuck!” she exclaimed, her back arching. “I need you inside me now.” Say no more, Levi thought. He instantly stopped, pulling his boxers down. His dick popped up and out of his underwear, already dripping. He was going to push it inside her when she placed both her hands on it, pumping at a fast and consistent pace. The sight of her drive him fucking crazy: her legs spread in the air as she jerked him off, her blushed and sweaty face, her sexy body underneath him, her tits jiggling with each pump of his dick. He let out moans of pleasure, which encouraged her to grip him stronger. “Get off me,” he commanded, pulling her legs closer to him. She let go, allowing him to put his dick inside her. As he entered, her name slipped out of his mouth. It was so soft, tight, and warm, he was almost sent to the edge. He grabbed her waist, slowly but consistently thrusting his long throbbing dick into her pussy. Each thrust allowed a moan to escape each of their lips. Levi mentally flipped off the blonde man at the restaurant. “You like it, baby?” He asked, starting to pick up the pace. “Yes… yes… yes,” She answered. Her eyes rolled back, causing Levi to put his hand around her throat. She was his. He felt himself getting close, and with some damn good will-power, he took his dick out. He kissed her passionately, teasing her opening. “God, you’re so fucking good to me,” She panted, sitting up. “Let me ride you. Let me thank you.” She whispered this in his ear, sending chills down his entire body. She placed her hand on his chest, pushing him supine into the bed. She crawled on top of him, straddling but facing him. He took a moment to admire her body. Her round breasts, her slightly curved waist, the skin growing wider on her hips when she straddled him. She grabbed his dick from behind, slowly easing down on it. She placed her hands firmly on his strong chest, beginning to grind her hips forward and back, and up and down. He was getting close. Whenever she rode him, just seeing her in and of itself made him horny. Whenever he jerked off alone, this is what he thought about every single time. She looked so hot when she rode him, it couldn’t be helped. The sound of the skin slapping together and each of their moans filled the room. “I’m all fucking yours, Levi!” She exclaimed, starting to pick up her pace. He placed his hand around her neck, pulling her face towards him. “I don’t think I heard you correctly,” Levi whispered in her ear, her body shaking on top of his. “Who are you talking about?” He began to thrust his hips upward, thrusting into her. He needed just a little more convincing “You…” She panted. He pounded harder and harder, causing her to moan louder. “Yours, Levi! I love you. I’m all fucking yours!” She continued to chant this a few more times before Levi placed his fingers to her clit, pressing a bit and rubbing in a circular motion. She opened her mouth to speak, but only cries came out. Suddenly, Levi felt her pussy contract around his dick, warming to an extreme. When he looked at her beautiful, pleasured face and her round, perky breasts and as she orgasmed on his dick, he came too. “Fuck, Hange,” he exhaled, filling her up. She slowly rocked her hips forward and back as he came inside her. Her body fell atop of his, her head next to his. Both of them were panting loud. She slowly sat up and got off his dick. She lay next to her lover. “Oh my fucking God,” She sighed, looking at Levi. She admired his side profile for a moment. His beautiful slightly-turned-up nose; his pink, swollen, wet lips; his messy raven hair. “What got into you?” He took a deep breath before responding. “Well, if you let me finish my sentence earlier, I was going to tell you how beautiful you looked.” “Would you prefer it if I didn’t interrupt?” “No.” Hange chuckled softly, interlocking their fingers. “You know at the restaurant I saw you. Right?” Hange asked, looking at Levi again. He furrowed his brows, then his face relaxed. “Oh.” He realized she did just appear as he kneed that bastard in the crotch. He huffed. “Did you get jealous?” She asked. “…No. Of course not.” Hange kissed his shoulder, knowing the opposite was true. “I just wanted to remind you of how much I love you. How no one else can have you.” Hange chuckled, using her elbow to prop herself up to look at him head on. She placed her hand on his cheek, their eyes fixed on one another’s. “I love you, too. If you need me to prove it to you, just say the word.”
#levihan#levihan smut#levihan fic#levi ackerman#hange zoe#hanji zoe#hange x levi#levi x hange#levi x hanji#smut#aot fic#snk fic#aot smut#snk smut#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin
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Stark Spangled Banner
One Shot: Ask Questions, Throw Shield Later.
Intro: Steve and Katie have an unwelcome late night visitor…
Warnings: “Language!” Smut (NSFW, 18+)
Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark
W/C: 1.9k
Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.
A/N: The first of two (yes, two) special 29th May Birthday One shots. Happy Birthday Tony! Man, I missed writing for these guys in this timeline! This fits into SSB within “I Told You I Said Yes”.
Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist
“Fuck, Steve...” Katie groaned, her head tilting backwards as Steve gave another deep thrust upwards, “right there... Jesus.”
“Good?” Steve panted as his hands grabbed her waist, finger tips digging into the flesh that covered her hipbones.
She nodded, grinding on him faster, his hands pulling her down making sure he hit as deep as he could.
Their soft, intimate sounds filled the room and, wanting to be as close to her as he could get, Steve sat up drawing a gasp from Katie as he did so. His hands moved to her back. One splayed half way up her spine, the other cupped the back of her head. His fingers tangled in her long, silky hair as he pulled her face to his. He kissed her, hard, his tongue dominating hers as he swallowed her moan, one that rumbled in her throat as if it came from the depths of her belly.
They’d already danced this tango once already that night. After a few beers with the team in anticipation of Tony’s birthday (minus Natasha as she was still on something Fury was running), they’d retired and gotten a little frisky some two hours prior. But then Steve had woken, his super sharp hearing alerting himself to some form of ransom noise deep in the floors below them and, well, he couldn’t get back to sleep. So he’d hugged Katie close.
Too close.
As ever he was unable to control his reactions to his girl and had ended up with a boner. Meaning she’d woken with him basically rutting up against her back, feigning innocence when she’d given him a grumble at the fact he’d dragged her from her slumber.
She hadn’t been grumbling for long.
“Stevie... I’m gonna...” Katie’s forehead pressed into his, her mouth open as her lips hovered over his, and he thrust upwards again, his nose brushing hers softly, like the touch of a butterfly.
“Let go. Doll,” he panted, actively fighting his own high, “cum for me.”
Her chest heaved, pert nipples brushing his bare skin and her movements stuttered. Her mouth opened in a silent scream, which cracked into a half grunt, half moan as she felt herself go, her body positively floating from her high.
By the time she came round, Steve had also finished, his broad shoulders rising and falling as he gathered his breath. Katie collapsed forward with a soft chuckle, her forehead pressing into his collar bone as he fell backwards, taking her with him.
They lay still for a moment, the only sounds being their heavy breathing and the soft rustle of sheets as Steve pulled the bedding up around them. The smooth cotton brushing over her sensitive skin made Katie shudder a little. Steve smiled and pressed a kiss to her temple, his large hands running up and down her spine.
“Am I forgiven for waking you up?” He asked and she shrugged, not even bothering to try and find the strength to sit up. “It’s three AM. I’ll think about it.”
Steve chuckled and she sat up slightly, leaning down to give him a slow kiss.
“Love you.” she pulled back a little, her eyes shining in the dim light, and Steve smiled.
“Love you too.”
Fifteen minutes later they were both settled down and on the verge of sleep once more when a loud crashing in the apartment made them both sit bolt upright.
“What the...” Steve was out of bed in a flash, wrenching the door to their room open.
Katie was seconds behind him, stopping only to grab Steve’s shirt from the chair at the vanity. As she shrugged it on, she ran into the hallway and heard a familiar metallic whoosh. There was the squealing of metal on metal and Katie flicked on the light just in time to see a flash of blue, red and white as Steve’s shield flew back to his hand. He looked over to Katie as she stepped towards him, her mouth falling.
“Is that...” she glanced down at what looked like a version of one of Tony’s suits. It lay motionless on the floor in two pieces, Steve’s shield having severed it at the waist. The failing electrics sparked as the various boards and cogs died, before it fell silent.
Steve nudged it with his foot. It didn’t move. He turned to Katie, a frown on his handsome face.
“Did he tell you he was making them autonomous?”
“That’s nothing new, JARVIS has always been able to control them remotely.” Katie shook her head as she crouched down, her hand gently touching the helmet. She tried to move the face plate but it didn’t open. Rapping her knuckles on the skull, she was met with a solid sound, not the usual hollow echo. “JARVIS?”
There was no reply.
“Why isn’t he answering?” Steve looked at her.
“Tony might have him down.” Katie answered. “He runs the updates at night some times. I do know one thing though.”
“What?” Steve asked as she stood up.
“That couldn’t have gotten in here without Tony letting it in one way or another.” She glanced at Steve, her pretty face full of annoyance. “Imma kill him, fucking idiot.”
She turned to leave and Steve gently caught her arm. “Honey...”
“Seriously? You want me to let this go?”
“Hell, no.” He shook his head, “I want you to wait for me to put some clothes on.”
Despite herself, Katie grinned as her eyes scanned Steve’s naked body, his shield still on his arm. He rolled his eyes and nodded to the suit on the floor, “I’m going to give him his property back, along with a piece of my mind.” **** Tony spun round, his brow arching as Steve and Katie walked into the lab. But whatever smart quip he had been about to come out with died as he spotted what was slung over the super soldier’s broad shoulders. With a loud slam, Steve threw the two parts of the robot down on the desk.
“What did you do to it?” Tony moaned.
“Threw my shield at it.” Steve folded his arms over his chest, the sleeves of the white ribbed Tee he had shrugged on straining over his thick biceps.
Tony was that distracted by his destroyed robot that he failed to notice Katie stomping towards him. She drew her right fist back and punched him hard on the shoulder.
“Ow, Kiddo!”
“You dick!” She yelled. “What the hell were you doing sending that into our apartment?”
“Wanted to test your reaction to it.” Tony shrugged. “See how it came across.”
“How it ca- Tony, it’s half past 3 in the morning!” She shrieked.
“Exactly.” Tony scratched his beard. “Total element of surprise. I thought you guys would give me a base of how people would react to them. Can’t have been that well if Spangles felt the need to cut it in half with his frisbee.”
“We had no idea what or who it was.” Steve felt his anger beginning to rise, “what was I supposed to do?”
“I’ve told you before, big guy. Ask questions, throw shield later.” Tony shrugged, “I can’t believe you killed Iron Kid.”
“Iron Kid?” Katie blinked.
“Yeah, the name’s a working progress.”
“Tony, what is it?” Steve pressed.
“It’s a prototype.” Tony informed them. “I had the idea last week. The Avengers exploded after New York. You should see the piles of fan mail that the guys downstairs sort each day.”
“Less bragging, more explaining.” Katie narrowed her eyes.
“The point is, we attract attention. So I had a thought about something that could help keep the public at bay,” Tony gestured to the pile of metal, “we can use them to issue instructions, help aid the emergency services. Keep civilians out of the way.”
Katie and Steve looked at one another, and Steve hated to admit it but the idea made sense.
Sorta.
“Clearly I need to rethink a little.” Tony mused. “I mean if they freaked you out then...” “It freaked us out because it was in. our. apartment!” Katie groaned. “In the middle of the night.”
“That’s the point, it was supposed to have the element of surprise, wake you up.”
“Well there’s your first fuck up!” She hissed. “We were already awake-“
“Why?” Tony frowned
“Because we just finished a great, sweaty sex session.” She shot back and Steve groaned, feeling the heat in his neck as he looked down, his bare toes flexing against the cool floor of the lab. “And you wanna be grateful we had finished because if we hadn’t I’d be really, really mad. You get me?”
“That’s.. disgusting.” Tony wrinkled his nose.
“And you’re an asshole.” Katie shot back.
With a shudder, Tony moved and picked up a screwdriver. He turned the helmet up aside down and opened a small hatch at the back. Stooping slightly, he prodded and poked at something inside.
“Huh, least the main board wasn’t damaged.” He straightened up and turned to face them both. “So, other than scaring the shit out of you what was it like? Voice interface okay? Too much me or not enough me or-“
“There was no voice interface.” Steve replied.
“What?” Tony frowned, “JARVIS was supposed to be controlling it. It should have told you why it was there and-“
“Well he didn’t.” Steve rolled his eyes, his already stretched patience wearing dangerously thin.
“He didn’t...huh?” Tony frowned and Katie moved past him to a computer.
“Oh for the... he’s on mute you dumbass!” She tapped a few buttons and JARVIS’ voice rang out.
“Thank you Miss Stark.”
“Shit.” Tony gave a sheepish grin. “Sorry, buddy. Forgot I turned you off.”
“Mr Stark, may I suggest you call it a night, Sir? It is rather late and you’ve been awake for almost twenty-one hours. Miss Potts instructed me to ensure you-“ “And that is precisely why I did.” Tony rolled his eyes and Katie let out a growl of annoyance
“I’m done. Come on, Steve.”
She stalked towards the door and Tony looked up. “You not gonna wish me happy birthday?”
In response she raised the middle fingers on both her hands, flipping him off over her shoulders as she stomped out of the door.
Steve watched her go before she turned to Tony. “You know, I think you’re onto something. Keeping civilians away would make things a lot easier.”
“Wouldn’t it?” Tony nodded, eagerly. “We’d need a fleet of them, an Iron Fleet, no that’s... like i said, the names a work in progress.”
“We can discuss this tomorrow. Give it some proper though.” Steve took a deep breath. “Just don’t send any more into the apartment, please?”
Tony saluted him and Steve rolled his eyes. He turned to go before he stopped, and looked back at his friend.
“Happy birthday, pal.”
Tony snorted. “Cheers, Spangles.”
Tony watched Steve walk out of the lab, before he glanced back at the destroyed robot.
“Mr Stark... Miss Potts is awake...”
“Ahh shit.” Tony groaned. “How much trouble am I in?”
“I don’t think a Roman Legion would protect you.” JARVIS replied and Tony stilled, a huge grin spreading across his face.
“Iron Legion.” He tossed the screwdriver up in the air and caught it, chuckling. “JARVIS, you are a genius.”
“Why thank you, sir. And now I really must insist you go to bed.”
“Yeah, okay, I’m going. Lock everything down will you? Oh, and order us all breakfast from the diner on the corner of fifth.”
“Of course. The usual?”
“Yeah. Have it delivered about 10:30. Should be enough to calm Kiddo down.”
“Very wise Sir. I’ll ensure there’s extra bacon, just in case.”
“Yeah, who doesn’t love extra bacon?”
#stark spangled banner#steve rogers#steve rogers x ofc#steve rogers x original female character#steve rogers fanfiction#steve rogers fic#chris evans#chris evans characters
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Defender of Men
Alex Lightwood birth storyyy!! I’m finally publishing it because someone sent me an ask on it, but it became too long, so here’s part one:
“Cecily, are sure you’ll be alright?” Gabriel asked.
“Jiw jiw, for the millionth time, I’ll be fine.” she said, pushing Gabriel out the door. “Now go do something useful.”
Anna was already outside, leaning against a tree, frowning down at her dress.
“Anna, gwnewch yn siŵr bod eich tad yn stopio poeni.” Cecily said.
Gabriel looked at her, annoyed. “I speak Welsh, Cecy.”
Cecily kissed his cheek, “Then make sure you do well on what I said.”
Gabriel rolled his eyes and hugged her with one of his arms.
“I’ll be back soon.”
“No, Gabriel.” She said, putting a hand on his chest. “Just have fun sledding with Anna, your nieces and Gideon. Sophie is right next door, if I need anything—which, I won’t—I’ll just call her.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m not made of glass, love. I’ll be fine. Now go before our poor Anna gets stuck frozen to that tree.”
Gabriel dropped a kiss on the top of her head before letting her go.
Cecily watched as he walked to Anna, who made a show of pretending to be asleep. He ruffled her hair, stealing her hat in the process and running down the street. Anna laughed and chased after him.
…
“Kit, bach, are you sure you don’t want to go sledding with Anna and your father? I’m sure it will be loads of fun,” Cecily said, once she was back inside.
Kit furrowed his eyebrows and cast a hesitant look outside. “I think I’d rather stay with you, Mam.”
Cecily smiled, knowing perfectly well Kit didn’t like the cold. “Alright then, fy ngalon bapur i.” (A/N: my paper heart)
Cecily walked to the kitchen and pulled out two mugs from the cupboard and filled them with tea. Before she picked them up, she grabbed a pocket watch that was on the counter and hung it on her neck so she could time her contractions.
When she got back to the drawing room, she tried to set the mugs on the table, but she couldn’t bend down that far. Christopher shot to his feet and helped her put them down, and lowered her to the couch.
“Thank you, darling.” Cecily said, bracing a hand of her belly. She felt like she was at the verge of giving birth, which is never a good thing, as a mother’s instinct is rarely wrong. The first stage of labour takes around fourteen hours, hence Gabriel’s hesitation to leave her at home. Cecily had thought he was being dramatic, but that was before she realized that she was maybe closer to birth than she had thought. Had fourteen hours already gone by?
“What book are you reading?” Cecily said, looking over her son’s shoulder, distracting herself.
“The Picture of Dorian Gray.”
Cecily scrunched up her nose. She had never read the book herself, but from what she’d heard of, it didn’t seem like a book Christopher would be interested in.
“What a peculiar choice of literature, cyw.”
“Matthew recently read it and said it was at utmost importance I read it as well. I don’t understand much of it, though. I’m also not very fond of the characters. I’d prefer your company over that of this book.”
Cecily smiled. “As do I, bach.”
Having children was a strange experience for Cecily. She was apprehensive at first, afraid she wouldn’t be a good mother and her children would end up resenting her. When she got pregnant with her first child, she was so happy.
And when she lost it, she had been so incredibly grief-stricken.
She had felt like she’d already failed as a mother, even though the Silent Brothers confirmed there was nothing that there was nothing that could have been done differently to have saved it, that it wasn’t uncommon to lose a child in the early stages of pregnancy.
That was the cruel irony, wasn’t it? To feel so much regret, to have your child die inside of you, and not know what went wrong.
They’d tried again, and then she was pregnant with Anna. The whole time she had been so horribly sick, she was terrified of losing another child. This time, however, she’d been pregnant long enough that she’d have to give birth to the child, whether it was alive or dead.
Those months had been the worst in Cecily’s entire life. Not even when her father had gambled away their home in Wales, the one she had memories of running with Will and Ella down valleys, had she felt such despair.
“Mam?”
Cecily shook her head, bringing herself back to the drawing room sofa, beside Kit.
“What is it, bach?”
“Does the baby have a name yet?”
Cecily rubbed her belly. “Not yet. Why do you ask?”
Kit shrugged.
Cecily suddenly felt a contraction. She started the pocket watch timer and sat forward and breathed deeply to try to relieve the pain. This one felt longer than the rest had been.
Kit looked at her from over his book, his eyebrows together.
Once it had passed, Cecily stopped the timer. After a couple of seconds of recovering from the contraction, she looked at the time, and swallowed.
“Kit,” she said as calmly as she could. “Bach, I need you to ring for the Silent Brothers.”
…
Brother Enoch, Zachariah and another brother Cecily couldn’t remember were preparing for the birth. Christopher had helped her up the stairs, before the brothers had come, and was now standing in a far corner of the room, at loss for what he should do.
“Christopher.” She said, motioning for him to come.
“You needn’t be here. I’ll be fine and your father will soon be here. I already asked Sophie to send him here once he stops by after sledding. You can wait outside until then.”
“But Mam, I don’t want you to be alone.”
“I won’t be alone. I’m with the Silent Brothers.”
Christopher looked over his shoulder at the Brothers.
Cecily put a hand under his chin and turned his face to face her own. She smiled at him.
“Go, Kit. It’s alright. I’ve done this before.” She said with a smile.
“I want to stay here. With you.”
Cecily tried to rub away a smudge on Christopher’s face, perhaps something to do with his most recent experiment.
“I don’t think you do, bach. When people say birth is a natural process, it’s because they’re trying to glorify a process that’s ghastly.”
Cecily looked deep into his lavender eyes and smiled. “Now go, before I start crowning. Trust me when I say you’ll wish you’d have gone.”
Christopher made to move, but didn’t get up.
“I want to help you. I want to stay with you the way you stayed when I got my first rune.”
Cecily wanted to argue that this was different but she suddenly got a contraction that was long enough she knew she’d have to push at any moment.
Sure enough, Brother Enoch said, you must begin pushing soon, Cecily Lightwood.
“You have to be sure, Christopher.” She said through her teeth. “One-hundred percent sure. And you must stay on this side of the bed, because I don’t want you to see the birthing process. I’ll only let you stay because if not I’m afraid you’ll ‘stress experiment’ and blow up the house.”
Kit nodded quickly.
“Alright then.” She said.
Are you ready to push?
“Yes. Let’s finish what we started, Enoch.” Cecily said, taking Christopher’s hand in her own and bracing herself for the birth.
…
Congratulations, Cecily Lightwood, it’s a boy. Enoch said in her head, less than half an hour later.
Cecily fell back on the pillows, exhausted. Birth never really got easier over the years.
Jem came around with the baby in his arms and gave him to Cecily. She swore she saw him stroke the baby’s hair as he walked to her. She smiled up at him.
“Thank you, Jem.” She said, quietly.
He inclined his head at her and walked away.
Cecily looked down at her youngest son for the first time. She’d helped other women give birth when she was younger, and had always thought newborn babies ugly, but whenever she looked down at her own, they were the most beautiful and perfect little things in the entire world. She smiled and offered the little baby her finger to hold.
Like with all of her other children, she felt her eyes sting. There was something about holding her child for the first time that always brought chills to Cecily’s body. It’s not like when she held Anna for the first time, the feeling she felt that her life would forever be changed, but it was more like when Christopher was born; she didn’t feel any fear, just happiness. She kissed the baby’s forehead.
“I wish you could have met your grandparents.” She whispered.
Edmund and Linette had passed away four months ago, and it had been difficult for Cecily not having been able to visit them when they were still alive. Since she was pregnant, she and the baby would be at high risk of death, if she caught the influenza disease.
She tried to shake off the memory. Right now, she only wanted to focus on the good things in life, not the bad.
She looked up and saw Christopher a distance away from where she was. He must have moved away from her once the baby was out and the Silent Brothers began moving about, preparing the child to be held and checking to make sure everything was alright. Christopher looked at the baby in wonder, one of the first babies he’d ever seen.
“Come meet your brother, Kit.” She said, holding a hand out.
She motioned for Christopher to sit next to her on the bed and, resting the baby on her chest momentarily, demonstrated how to position his arms.
“That’s right, bach.” She said, lifting the baby to put in Kit's arms.
“Mam,” he said nervously. “What if I drop him?”
Cecily smiled. “You won’t. I have faith in you.”
She gently placed the baby in his brother’s arms, Christopher looking like he was holding his breath.
“Breathe, darling. It’s just your brother. Look at how much he likes you. He’s already reaching out to you.” The baby’s hands were indeed opening and closing slowly. Cecily helped Christopher adjust his arms, so that he was supporting the baby’s head better, and when she sat back, she felt a pang in her chest at seeing her two sons together. Christopher had a soft smile on his lips, the smile that many people had told her is the same as her own.
Sometime after she’d put the baby in Kit’s arms, a Silent Brother told her she needed to push out the placenta, so that they could begin healing the tears induced by the birth. She nodded and when she began pushing again, Kit looked up, confused.
“Is there another one?” He asked, surprised, his eyes wide with curiosity.
“Heavens, no. Thank the Angel. It’s just the placenta.”
Christopher still looked confused.
“It’s nothing you need to worry about, bach.” She reassured him.
…
The Silent Brothers were gone by the time Gabriel and Anna got home.
Cecily had been feeding the baby, and Christopher was reading a book on his back, keeping her company. He’d given up on reading The Picture of Dorian Gray, had switched it for a book on science. Cecily had tried to read a couple of sentences, but was deeply confused by them, not being able to understand a thing.
“I don’t know how you can read that, Christopher. I can’t follow a single sentence, much less the entire book.”
Kit looked up at her. “It’s not that hard, it’s just that Biology is interconnected, so you have to understand the previous concepts to understand this one.”
Cecily laughed. “You put a lot of faith in me, Kit.”
Christopher tilted his head to the side.
“What are you reading about now?”
“Genetics. Why children come out looking like their parents.”
“There’s an explanation behind that?” She asked.
“Yes! We all inherit half of our genes from our mother and half from our father.”
“Are you sure? I can’t imagine your father inheriting anything from Benedict.”
“It’s more so to do with physical traits.” Kit explained. “Like blue eyes or green eyes.”
“That’s quite interesting, bach.” she said.
And that’s how Cecily got a lesson on genetics. She was happy to listen to her son talk happily about science and to have her new baby in her arms and be able to kiss his tiny, soft nose and occasionally ruffle Christopher’s hair.
…
“By the Angel, Cecy.” Gabriel said, coming inside, worried. Both Anna and Gabriel had a lot of snow on their coats. They must have come home running after hearing the news. “Are you alright? Is the baby?”
“Yes, yes. Stop worrying.” Cecily said, holding up the bundle of blankets they’d hidden the baby inside of.
Anna’s eyes widened as her eyes landed on the bundle in Cecily’s arms. “Is that the baby? It’s so small.”
Cecily nodded and Anna walked quickly to kneel beside the bed and smiled at the baby.
“Hello.” She whispered, touching his cheek lightly.
“This is your new brother,” Cecily said, smiling at Anna.
Gabriel leaned in over Cecily’s shoulder, close enough that she could see his face as he smiled down at his youngest child. He put a hand on her shoulder, and kissed her temple lightly while Anna cooed at the baby.
…
A few moments later, Anna was sitting on the armchair across the room, holding the baby for the first time, Christopher standing to the side, letting the baby hold his finger.
Gabriel leaned close to her and whispered, “what do you think about Alexander?”
Cecily turned to look at him and smiled. “Alexander?”
Gabriel shrugged, brushing her hair away from her face. “I was thinking about names while I took Anna sledding. I tried to come up with names for each letter of the alphabet and I got to ‘Maxwell’ before I thought of Alexander.”
Cecily looked back at her children, interlacing her hand with Gabriel’s. “What made you think of Alexander?”
Gabriel shrugged. “Maybe the letter ‘X’ that they have in common.”
Cecily felt her smile grow wider. “I love it. Alexander.”
She felt Gabriel put his arms around her and she rested her head on his warm chest.
“The birth wasn’t that bad, was it?” Gabriel said, his voice lightly amused.
“Go to hell.” Cecily mumbled against his shirt.
Tagging: @tsccreatorsnet @atla-lok143 @rinadragomir @youngreckless @autumnangel20 @julemmaes @cupcakesandkittens @no-scones-allowed @fictionally-fantastic @stxr-thxif @writeforjordelia @itsdaughterofthemoon @jordeliasupremacy @cordelia-cardale @will-effing-herondale @axoloteca @heronstairs2014 @ilovemanicures
If you want to be on my tag list, or if you changed your url recently and your not in the tag list anymore, let me know! Oh, an if you asked to be on the tag list and you’re not on it, please tell me (I’m very absentminded haha)
#cecily lightwood#gabriel lightwood#cecily x gabriel#alexander lightwood#christopher lightwood#anna lightwood#tsc#tsc fanfictions#tlh fanfiction#tid fanfiction
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How would you describe the original Katarina’s personality?
Hmm, that's kinda hard to answer. I feel like I've read so much FL!Katarina fanfics that i'd be combining canon and fanon interpretations of her haha.
(I'll be calling Hamefura Katarina "Bakarina" and Fortune Lover Katarina "Catarina" so I don't have to write FL!Katarina lmao)
There's not really a lot we know about the Fortune Lover version of the characters except for the surface level stuff. People have come up with their own explanations and extensions to those incarnations of the cast based on what little we know, creating interpretations based on our own suspicions and understanding of the life they could have lived if Bakarina had never bumped her head.
Bakarina described herself as a spoiled, prideful and selfish wealthy lady. She is far too spoiled, to the point where her selfishness causes problems for others. She is catty and brat. She was raised like a princess during her childhood, which made her haughty, but is nonetheless well-mannered is aware of her station (probably not as perfect as Mary's, but is still prim and proper). Since she is so used to the spotlight being on herself, she bullied Keith who was a threat to her position and because of the influence of her dejected mother, Miri. She doesn't care about anybody who isn't on her radar (people like Alan and Mary, who even her own fiance is indifferent towards) but will visibly act hostile to people she does not like (people who either not of noble birth or those who don't deserve to be, like Maria and Sophia).
Being the haughty daughter of a duke, she has high regards towards the importance of ranks in high society, making her hate Maria the commoner. She would belittle and put her down at every opportunity she can get, in order to make sure that Maria does not forget her status as a commoner even as she continues to stay in the academy and interact with their peers. Her feelings of disgust and betrayal over being on equal grounds with a commoner in the academy, as well as being surpassed by her magically and academically, leads Catarina to bully and harass her to an extreme degree to destroy her self-esteem and eventually make her leave the academy entirely.
In Fortune Lover 2, she returns as a villain who is intent on making Maria pay for her downfall. It shows that she isn't remorseful, and still thinks that she had done nothing wrong. At this point, Catarina goes from a selfish and spoiled brat duchess to a vengeful (and kinda murderous) villainess.
That's kinda all that I got from skimming Volume 1 or the light novels at the moment; I'm sure there are still some insight on what Catarina was like in the other books, besides what we know of her relationships with the other volumes.
While Verge of Doom in mind, we see that Catarina's overconfidence in herself can become a positive as well. She is so sure of herself that she declared anyone by her side is excellent and worthy to a degree, which had helped Sienna feel comfortable being in the academy. Katarina always has her chin up high, even though she is intellectually and magically weak, because her upbringing has made her feel like she is naturally leagues above everyone due to her status.
Catarina is just your typical surface-level villainess character, who is prideful, selfish and mean to other people who isn't in her circle. That's pretty much it to be honest.
Anything beyond this is pretty much laced with analysis and interpretation. One of the reasons why I really like reading FL-verse fics is the different ways they interpret the personalities and motivations of the characters with the little amount of history that we know of. Some of it are pure interpretation, while some of them are good extensions to the stuff we already knew.
Since Catarina is implied to not being good at reading the room, it'd be no surprise to imagine that her growing love for Prince Geordo is the outcome of not being able to read beyond his princely facade, thinking that he genuinely is returning the feelings rather than just being polite since that is expected of him. She lives in this perfect world where everything is made for her, and anyone who threatens it or disturbs it is worthy of her malice.
Some interpretations of Catarina say that she never bothered to try academically because of her status, since she's a prince's fiancee and a duke's daughter, she already has everything so there's nothing she would gain from a good grade. She had probably used her time socializing and growing her circle of followers rather than reading and studying. Since Catarina and Bakarina share the same soul, some would say that maybe she is airheaded and socially dense as well which is why she can't tell that other people dislike her (and even if she did know, depending on who they are she'd be so full of herself that she wouldn't care). Some have said that her physical abuse towards Keith as a child is more than just arrogance about wanting to keep the spotlight on herself and rejecting the idea of having a brother, but a reaction towards feeling threatened and (initially) scared rather than pure jealousy and anger. Some have even made her an accidental seductress who is unknowingly using her charm, wealth and arrogance to gather people to her side. Miridiana from what we know is an insecure person growing up due to her face, so some people have said that Catarina's arrogance is encouraged by Miri, if it helps her be more confident in herself as a duchess, and that in her eyes Catarina had grown into a perfect noblewoman.
Whenever fic writers try to draw lines between Catarina and Bakarina makes me happy actually :DD I love the idea that two have some similar quirks in the same way Aachan and Sophia does. It's so fun when writers make Catarina dumb in the way Bakarina is, while still maintaining her air of arrogance and poise.
It really makes me wish we could have seen more of Catarina in Verge of Doom. Like, have more flashbacks to Catarina's original personality, or have more scenarios where she is forced to act like her villainous self in order to get through a situation. At this point even the main story has more instances of this qwq. I mean it's really good that VOD gives a more remorseful Katarina, and it is interesting to see Catarina and Bakarina react to situations in the exact opposite ways, but one can dream, ya know?
Catarina is as simple of a villainess as one can get, but it's nice to see people try to give more history, detail and nuance to that villainy. It's fun to see it in fanfics, but let's not forget that she's a simple character in canon.
There's still so much I could say, but it's been so long since i've read a hamefura fanfiction so my stock knowledge is dried out lmao. I'm not a writer, so I can only really describe what I remember from reading Fortune Lover-verse fics. I really like them, even if they can be out of character and too different from the source material at times.
If anyone wants to add with more details about Catarina, or their own interpretations of her character, that would be awesome! :DD
Thank you for the ask :DD
#mh ask#hamefura#my next life as a villainess#hamehura#bakarina#destruction flag otome#katarina claes#catarina claes
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Chapter 28: “A Growing Family” of “pride is not the word I’m looking for” quotes and commentary. Not a full list of favorite quotes or full commentary.
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The fact that Shen Qingqiu is waiting for them, just outside of Yue Qingyuan’s office, really doesn’t help the dread that Shang Qinghua is feeling here.
A stocky young woman is standing attentively beside the seated Peak Lord. This is that Fu Qiang character, one of Binghe’s favorite shijies on Qing Jing Peak, here to whisk Peerless Cucumber away for a one-to-one chat on the other transmigrator’s potential relationship to the House of Rejuvenation. Or maybe to give the kid a tutoring session on recovering memories from trauma or something! Shang Qinghua doesn’t know exactly, not having been invited to sit in.
“Shidi,” Shen Qingqiu greets coolly.
“Greetings, Shen-Shixiong,” Shang Qinghua returns, feeling sweaty already, but also weirdly giddy. He’s tempted to wink, but he’s pretty sure that would get him killed. “How are you? You look very well! Aha, how did those ‘other engagements’ go the other day? Meet with anyone? Have a good time?”
Over the top of his elegant fan, Shen Qingqiu immediately gives him a look that could probably kill a lesser man - or maybe a greater one, like someone who has more dignity and shame and whatever than Shang Qinghua does. Shang Qinghua doesn’t flinch. He assumes that the meeting with Yue Qingyuan went well! Which is great! Super great! If it had gone badly, he’s pretty sure that Shen Qingqiu wouldn’t even be setting foot on Qiong Ding Peak now - or at least would have been projecting “I’ll kill to get out of here and I’m mentally picking all my victims” hard enough to send all the Qiong Ding Peak disciples and cultivators off like panicked chickens.
“I don’t know what you mean,” Shen Qingqiu says, downright frosty now. “Shang-Shidi must have been paying too much attention to nonsense gossip again.”
“Ah, of course! Of course! My mistake, Shen-Shixiong! Please forgive me!”
Shang Qinghua looks to his fellow transmigrator next, to reintroduce them, only to find Shen Yuan making a very strange expression. Shen Yuan is looking between Shang Qinghua and Shen Qingqiu kind of like he’s never seen them before. His mouth is even a little open and everything. It takes the kid a few seconds to realize that he has two Peak Lords staring at him and to swallow the strange expression.
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AN: Shen Yuan knows that 1) SQQ came to meet SQH personally immediately after their mission was over, 2) SQH stayed in bed the following day for a LONG time, and 3) SQH had a hickey on his neck.
So when Shang Qinghua makes a reference to the meeting that SQQ had with Yue Qingyuan, almost flirtatiously asking if Shen Qingqiu “met with anyone” and “had a good time”, Shen Yuan is going to draw his own conclusions.
Namely, that Shang Qinghua and Shen Qingqiu might be sleeping together.
After all, Shen Yuan doesn’t know about the YQY and SQQ backstory! Shen Yuan only knows that Shang Qinghua is weirdly friendly with PIDW’s most famous scum villain and that Shen Qingqiu apparently likes SQH enough not to be an asshole to Luo Binghe. Shang Qinghua kind of talks like they’re friend, so what if they’re... more than friends?!
Meanwhile, Shang Qinghua cannot fathom anyone EVER considering that he and SHEN QINGQIU might be lovers. It’s not an idea that he is in a position to have because what the fuck?!
I was tickled pink when I realized that things were in position to have the disciples think that Shangjiu is a thing. I was already planning on having them notice Shang Qinghua’s brand-new-relationship good mood. Shen Yuan may not notice when people are in love with HIM, but he did still read a twenty-million-word stallion web-novel, so he’s totally prepared to assume that secret affairs are happening for OTHER PEOPLE.
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His fellow transmigrator hastily performs the appropriate greeting. Shen Qingqiu doesn’t reply beyond inclining his head, instead sweeping his eyes over Shen Yuan, who stands hilariously still like he’s facing down a predator, except for how the kid squints back a little at the Lord of Qing Jing Peak. Ha! That’s pretty fearless coming from someone still so unnerved by the man who would have Proud Immortal Demon Way’s most famous scum villain.
“Fu Qiang,” Shen Qingqiu says finally. “I have instructed Assistant Ma to set aside a private room for your discussion. You may take Disciple Shen there now.”
“Yes, Shizun.”
The other disciple gestures for Shen Yuan to follow and the other transmigrator hastily takes her up on that. As the disciples disappear, Shen Qingqiu rises and, without a word, leads Shang Qinghua into Yue Qingyuan’s office.
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AN: It’s tempting to try and make Shen Qingqiu and Shen Yuan actually develop more of a relationship than “passing acquaintance”, but the thing is that I can’t see either of them really going for it without being forced or without a very serious push. They’re both so prickly.
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Yue Qingyuan greets him in a friendly manner, like he’s genuinely pleased to see Shang Qinghua and happy to help. Shang Qinghua greets the man in the same way. It’s nice! It also kind of feels like they’re both pretending the past few months of awkwardness, resentment, and avoidance never happened.
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AN: It felt a little more true to life and to the characters to have Shang Qinghua and Yue Qingyuan just... move forward instead of getting into their issues with each other and what apologies may be due.
It’s kind of like a mutual: “What if we didn’t talk about it?”
And they’re both like, “Oh, thank fuck.”
I think that if they both brew on it a bit more, they may eventually decide to try to assuage their respective anger or guilt by saying something, but right now they’re feeling raw and/or embarrassed, and don’t want to accidentally get into it again. So they’ll talk about work! They always have work to talk about! Work is more important than personal matters, so they’re just going to pretend everything is fine!
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It’s not just the System who won’t let the Immortal Alliance Conference not happen! But, ahhh, Shang Qinghua can still dream of them actually managing to convince Zhao Hua Temple Sect and everyone else to call the whole thing off. He can dream!
Yue Qingyuan has this pained expression that says, “You’re not wrong, but I wish you were.” This guy knows what Shang Qinghua is talking about!
Shen Qingqiu has this expression that says something like, “I can only critique the accuracy of your assessment on the grounds that you may be giving our fellow cultivators too much credit in terms of common sense and cooperation. This annoys me immensely.”
“You have put a great deal of thought into this,” Yue Qingyuan says finally. “You received this news… when exactly… again?”
“Ah, yesterday morning?” Shang Qinghua answers.
“While in bed with a demon lord,” he doesn’t elaborate. Nope! Not elaborating!
“I know it’s not- I’ll try to get more information, but everyone is still in the planning stages, and it’s not easy getting any information!” Shang Qinghua says defensively. “But, even with that, I thought, ‘Ah, my shixiongs will probably want to know right away!’ Someone will need to tell Zhao Hua to take precautions, at least?”
Yue Qingyuan visibly regathers himself and says, “It is better to know these things as soon as possible. Thank you, Qinghua, for this forewarning.”
“He’s very good at knowing these things,” Shen Qingqiu agrees, but the man’s gaze is like a very sharp pin and Shang Qinghua is but a lowly insect under it. “When might you be expected to know more about this?”
“Ah, I’ll have to get in contact with… ah, some people I know.”
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AN: Of course YQY and SQQ want to know more about where SQH is getting this information, but for all they know he might just have gotten a tip-off from one of his merchant contacts or someone in the black market. This has been brewing for a while between these demon lords and the cultivation sects. It’s really bad news, but it’s also not really that surprising.
According to the Airplane Extras, when MBJ and SQH meet, Airplane offhandedly mentions that Mobei-Jun’s clan and Huan Hua Palace Sect have a serious grudge from a conflict at a previous Immortal Alliance Conference. In PINTWILF, this conference is why the IACs got cancelled and had to be recently “revived”. The coming IAC is the 3rd since this revival.
Shang Qinghua has proven himself reliable enough by this point that YQY and SQQ will let him keep his informants close to his chest. Between SQH’s years of improved services (helped by actually getting his personal disciples to help him) and SQH’s interference in their personal issues, they do actually trust him.
So, yeah, they think he’s a squirmy little rat man.
But he’s THEIR squirmy little rat man who has come through in times of need. Also, SQQ, for all his glaring, might stab YQY if he started giving SQH a hard time about this. Sometimes a shidi just wants you to back the fuck off, YQY! Let him have his secrets! Even though SQQ absolutely wants to know SQH’s secrets and is on the verge of dying of curiosity.
I am VERY MUCH looking forward to them finding out that Shang Qinghua has a demon prince for a boyfriend. That’s going to be fun.
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“I have also been… considering the advantages of lessons and between Peaks to encourage both cooperation and… survival skills,” Shen Qingqiu says next. “Rarely does one become a master of all disciplines - the Twelve Peaks allow for many of our sect to become specialists, masters of one art - but it seems unwise not to be learned in the basics of as many life-saving arts as one is able.”
“A diversity of learning can be very beneficial,” Yue Qingyuan agrees immediately.
“My disciple, Fu Qiang, has become a very adept medic over the years, though this was in the hopes of avoiding visiting Qian Cao Peak. The head disciples of An Ding, as I understand it, have sought to take special lessons from Qian Cao and Xian Shu to improve themselves."
“Ah, that explains how Hongpeng spied on Peerless Cucumber back when the little bro was still in Mu Qingfang’s clutches,” Shang Qinghua thinks. “And, ah, Shen Bro, I don’t know how to tell you this, but Wenjiao goes to Xian Shu Peak mostly to moon over pretty girls, especially my little sister-in-law.”
"There is also the example of Qi-Shimei’s most frustrating disciple, who must be routinely dragged away from Bai Zhan, but who has also apparently helped to improve her fellow Xian Shu disciples’ martial abilities.”
"Ah, that's one of putting Qi Qingqi letting Luo Fanli and Liu Mingyan fight each other in order to hopefully wear them both out," Shang Qinghua thinks.
“Even if demons should not attack, though only a limited number of our disciples will be attending the Immortal Alliance Conference, it would nevertheless be beneficial to ensure that all disciples across the sect are well-equipped to keep themselves alive until the specialists arrive,” Shen Qingqiu finishes. “Shang-Shidi, as one of the most well-connected leading members of our sect, the organization of such an initiative would be best left in your hands.”
-
AN: Okay, so I know that this is kind of a weird thing to be coming from Shen Qingqiu, but he’s grown a bit over the course of this fic! AND he’s totally coming at it from the perspective of: “I don’t have to cooperate or get along with anyone beyond what I’m doing now.”
So SQQ is like, “My disciples are stupid. We should have more field medics.”
And he’s like, “Some people’s disciples can’t fight for shit and we should make sure they know more self-defense.”
And he’s like, “Liu Qingge’s disciples are animals. Someone at least teach them how to protect other disciples and how to not bleed to death, because he won’t. That man doesn’t teach them anything.”
And he’s like, “Shang Qinghua, you do that. I don’t want to.”
-
Peerless Cucumber’s conversation with Shen Qingqiu’s disciple is long over, but apparently his fellow transmigrator didn’t just leave afterwards. Yue Qingyuan’s youngest assistant intercepts to politely point Shang Qinghua towards their waiting room. Shen Yuan is asleep in a chair, with one of his cultivation manuals open in his lap. Judging by his pose, Shang Qinghua is going to guess that the kid was trying some kind of meditation and ended up taking a nap by accident.
It happens to the best of them sometimes! Or at least to Shang Qinghua!
“Ah, I told you not to wait on me. Come on, bro, I don’t want to have to carry you back,” Shang Qinghua says, while jostling the kid awake. “You’re too big for that. My nephew is too big for that these days. Just because it would be nostalgic for me and just because I can doesn’t mean that I want to be carrying you around like a sack of vegetables.”
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AN: If Shang Qinghua can haul Mobei-Jun around, then he could pick up Shen Yuan no problem. Also, this is the bit where I was like, “Wow, I have very much made SQH into SY’s dad here.”
Even SVSSS SQH gives me Uncle Vibes, to be honest. The man wants to pop into Bingqiu’s life, ask some nosy questions, be treated to a free meal (who doesn’t), tell some bad jokes, offer some terrible advice, complain about his workload, and then flounce off again with his boyfriend. SVSSS SQH seems to like being useful and appreciated and part of the group, but in a way where he’s not directly attached to anyone, you know? Give SVSSS SQH the benefits, but none of the responsibilities!
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Shang Qinghua is kind of sick of this roundabout conversation and decides to bring out the big guns: a move taught to him by his extremely powerful sister-in-law, who has effortlessly defeated their resident War God. He knows the effectiveness of this technique personally, because Luo Jiahui has used it to defeat him many times. He puts on the best concerned face he has.
“Yuan,” he says seriously, looking the kid directly in the eye. “I’m not making jokes here about not skipping out on cultivating. It’s not always going to be fun - a lot of the time, it’s going to be pretty embarrassing and a little painful. Bro, I was an adult stuck in a teenage body, regularly getting my ass handed to me by actual teenagers. That was awful. But I really need you to keep doing it, even if you don’t become the next War God ready to challenge the protagonist, because I don’t want you to die. This shitty world isn’t safe. And if you want to be involved in these missions, then I need you to be able to carry yourself, or we’re both going to get trampled by some OP monster wandering out of an advanced chapter early instead of fixing anything here.”
Shen Yuan is having difficulty meeting his eyes. He keeps trying to force himself to look at Shang Qinghua and then looking away again automatically.
Shang Qinghua employs another of his sister-in-law’s immensely powerful techniques: he reaches out and puts a hand on the kid’s shoulder. “I will tell you stuff when I have stuff to tell you and when I can tell it to you. You’ve been super helpful, I’m going to need your help in the future, but I need you to be a little patient right now too.”
Shen Yuan nods. “...Fine.”
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AN: Shang Qinghua: “I can’t believe that I’m tricking this person into thinking I’m a good person by being nice to them and looking after them and doing good things. I have learned this behavior for TRICKING PURPOSES only and have NOT accidentally adopted yet another kid.”
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Shang Qinghua can’t answer the question right now! Leave a message!
He’s too busy replaying all the times he’s seen his nephew and his fellow transmigrator interact. Binghe did ask after Shen Yuan every time that he and Shang Qinghua talked, while the other transmigrator was on Qian Cao and after he came to An Ding, but… Shang Qinghua just thought his nephew was being polite and curious? Peerless Cucumber stands out! Binghe didn’t act too weirdly about it!
Luo Binghe is supposed to be a stallion protagonist with 600 wives!
Although… Shang Qinghua’s nephew has never really shown any interest in that kind of thing. Which Shang Qinghua has been pretty glad about! He doesn’t want to have 600 nieces-in-law! He also doesn’t want that for his nephew!
The protagonist of Proud Immortal Demon Way ’s harem was basically a snake pit of drama and desperation and decaying fantasies. For everyone who could read between the lines of empty papapa to see Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky’s tragic story of resentment and revenge, it wouldn’t be inaccurate to say the tyrannical, broken protagonist was like a black hole, dragging everyone else into orbit around this man who couldn’t really love anyone! You can take a blackened protagonist out of the Eternal Abyss, but you can’t take that abyss out of the blackened protagonist, right?
The original Luo Binghe didn’t take wives because he was in love. He took wives because he could! Because they were beautiful or powerful or useful! Because he pitied them! Because he liked being their savior! Because he didn't want anyone else to have them! Because he liked being an object of envy and desire and love! Because it was expected of him, as the man all the readers wanted to be, who was supposed to have everything a man could ever want!
“...Ah, there are… some implications there,” Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky realizes, remembering just how half-hearted most of that harem bullshit was. “Maybe a bent man wrote a kind of bent protagonist by accident? Who knows?”
“Da-Ge?” Fanli says. “Da-Ge, didn’t you know?”
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AN: I’ve said this before, but there’s a meta argument to be made in regards to Luo Binghe and obligatory heterosexuality.
Also, from what I remember, Airplane didn’t actually seem to care too much about Luo Binghe being interested in Shen Yuan. In the Airplane Extras, Airplane says that in the original version of PIDW that he never got to write, Luo Binghe actually ended up totally alone at the end of the story. He was apparently planning a pretty downer ending for Luo Binghe. But Luo Binghe ended up getting a huge harem instead because that’s what the readers wanted!
So, my impression is, that when SVSSS Airplane first realizes that LBH is into men (and into SQQ specifically), he does a little bit of self-reflection and also reflection on PIDW, then just goes, “Huh. That makes... sense.”
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“Though, aha, I can’t remember Shen-Shixiong ever really not being kind of angry at me and I’m not dead yet. I had to talk really fast sometimes, but I lived! Now go away.”
When Shang Qinghua looks up, all of his disciples are staring at him. They all look surprised, except for Shen Yuan, who looks embarrassed. Shang Qinghua would guess that someone cracked a dirty joke, but that doesn’t seem right.
"What?"
“...Shifu, how long have you known Shen-Shibo?” Chen Xuan asks.
“Since we were disciples? Ah, I think he hated me at first sight.”
“But you’re close now?” Lin Wenjiao blurts out.
“Closer, ” Shang Qinghua agrees warily. “Aha, don’t think that any of you can ask me for favors to do with Shen Qingqiu or Qing Jing Peak too! That’s not happening! Disciple Luo, Shen, get out of here before you give my disciples any more weird ideas.”
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AN: Okay, so what happened is that as soon as Luo Fanli and Shang Qinghua left the room, Shen Yuan was like, “...Shang Qinghua and Shen Qingqiu are... very close? Are they...?”
And SQH’s disciples are like, “Holy shit, are you asking if SQH and SQQ are romantically involved?!” And SQH’s disciples laugh in SY’s face because that’s RIDICULOUS. Which makes SY really embarrassed and defensive! SQH’s disciples ask why he would EVER think a thing like that.
SY provides the evidence. It’s a reasonable conclusion!
And then SQH’s disciples are like, “...Holy shit?!”
And then SY is like, “Wait, maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned that.”
But it’s too late. SQH’s disciples are already putting all the evidence together and there is SO MUCH EVIDENCE of something going on there.
I know I refer to this ship as “Shangjiu”, but that’s mostly just to specify which Shen Qingqiu and I doubt that anyone in Cang Qiong Mountain Sect dares to call SQQ “Jiu” besides YQY. They’d probably actually end up calling it something along the lines of “The Premise” like original Star Trek: The Original Series Kirk/Spock shippers. (See Fanlore or something for more info on that.)
Again, SQH cannot... CONCEIVE of them conceiving this idea.
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By the time that Mobei-Jun shows up at his Leisure House, Shang Qinghua is a little on the edge! Honestly, he’s kind of off the edge, dangling from a very thin branch just underneath the cliff’s edge, and that thin branch is making some very concerning noises! Sure, at least the demon lord isn’t late, but Shang Qinghua is suddenly reminded of just how intimidating Mobei-Jun looks! Also, he’s cleaned up his house and knows his sister-in-law knows he’s kind of a slob sometimes, but he’s so sure that she’s still going to judge his cleaning job! What if she blames Mobei-Jun for it? (She’d be right to blame him a little! The man can be kind of lazy and messy sometimes too!)
A cool hand at Shang Qinghua’s hip prevents him from walking around in circles, repositioning disobedient cushions and offending tables. Shang Qinghua looks up at Mobei-Jun, who moves his hand to where Shang Qinghua’s neck meets shoulder.
“Stop it,” Mobei-Jun says.
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AN: It’s really funny thinking about how all of Mobei-Jun’s gentle and affectionate behaviors towards SQH are totally learned. This does not come naturally to the man. If SQH was having a panic attack, Mobei-Jun’s first (panicked) instinct would be to bark at him to stop it.
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“It’s just… Jiahui is… it didn’t have to be this way for us? I would have just helped her get to safety and left her to live her life without me, but she didn’t let that happen, even though her family wasn’t any good either, so why would she want another one?” Shang Qinghua tries to explain. “She chose me? She looked out for me. She helped me understand a lot of things. Even though she probably could have picked anyone else. I don’t really know where I’d be right now if she didn’t? Ah, probably… not talking to or trusting anyone ever? You remember what things used to be like.”
“Yes.”
“I’ve never really liked any of the sisters I’ve had before very much,” Shang Qinghua admits. “Ah, but they didn’t like me either, so it worked. Anyway! It’s… important to me that things work out now because…”
“I don’t want to choose,” Shang Qinghua doesn’t say.
He clears his throat instead.
“Qinghua.”
Shang Qinghua forces himself to look up from his hands on Mobei-Jun’s collar.
“I am glad that you were not without someone to trust,” Mobei-Jun says, though it sounds like it takes effort. “Your sister has nothing to fear from me.”
Mobei-Jun has already made this promise, but it’s good to hear it again.
“Thank you, my king. I’ll, ah- I should go get her now.”
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AN: Mobei-Jun is jealous. He is very, VERY jealous.
BUT Mobei-Jun can also see some parallels here. Luo Jiahui is to Shang Qinghua in many ways what Shang Qinghua is to him. Mobei-Jun understands the importance of this relationship and of this person. He understands that Jiahui and SQH’s relationship is not romantic, of course, and understands her to be the “head of the family”, so he has to force himself not to act on his jealousy.
I think that a part of Mobei-Jun might see jealousy as something very negative? Thinking about what I said about Mobei-Jun’s hang-ups surrounding consent and possessiveness possibly originating with his father being a wife-stealer, Mobei-Jun can’t act on his jealousy for the same reasons that he needs Shang Qinghua to make the first explicit moves. He wants Shang Qinghua to choose him and to choose him of his own free will.
So, he’s jealous when he hears about how LJH chose SQH and SQH chose LJH, but he can’t act on it because 1) he loves SQH and 2) he’s (possibly unconsciously) terrified of becoming his father and creating resentment that will ripple out into his family potentially for generations.
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It’s so, so weird to see his human sister-in-law sitting across from a demon lord. Luo Jiahui is not a tall woman and her cultivation is very good these days, but she’s not a warrior. Seeing the height and width differences side-by-side make them really obvious! Mobei-Jun is at least twice Shang Qinghua’s sister-in-law’s size! He has to be easily twice her weight!
When Luo Jiahui puts food in front of Mobei-Jun, Shang Qinghua gets huge “I dare you to not eat my food” messages! It took a really long time before Mobei-Jun seemed to accept that Shang Qinghua really wouldn’t take every available opportunity to hand him poison. Thankfully, however, Mobei-Jun has eaten Luo Jiahui’s food before! Shang Qinghua has shared his sister-in-law's food with the demon lord! Shang Qinghua also communicated beforehand that Mobei-Jun has to eat the food. No matter what!
So, Mobei-Jun eats the food and Shang Qinghua breathes a sigh of relief. Mobei-Jun even goes so far as to tell Luo Jiahui that she’s a good cook (above and beyond social interaction! Also delivered kind of awkwardly!), which his sister-in-law accepts with thanks (and also maybe just a little bit as her rightful due).
Luo Jiahui already knows the basics of Mobei-Jun: that he’s an ice demon, the son of the Northern Demon King, and he’s going to be the next Northern Demon King. She already knows that he’s a warrior and that his time is mostly spent tending to his duties, usually on his father’s behalf. She even knows that demon families can be kind of violently competitive and that Mobei-Jun’s family is no exception.
So, when she finally decides to speak seriously, she says, “My brother is very important to me. I have told him that if he is happy, then I’m happy for him. He has told me that you are very important to him.”
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AN: Mobei-Jun is going to hold that revelation close to his chest for WEEKS. Shang Qinghua said that Mobei-Jun is very important to him!
Juggling the tension of this scene was weird.
Because, like, Mobei-Jun is not a kind or a gentle or a good person. He’s disdainful of humanity. It’s kind of a mindfuck for him to be having a meal with a strange human who is not of the things he has been raised to respect.
Meanwhile, Luo Jiahui is fucking terrified of Mobei-Jun, dislikes him, and doesn’t want to like him. He’s a stranger who could destroy her family. He looks kind of monstrous. He acts strangely.
But they HAVE TO BE CIVIL to each other for Shang Qinghua’s sake.
So they are.
Mobei-Jun tries not to make any scary moves around the soft human.
Luo Jiahui tries to act like MBJ is a normal person and to be polite.
They are both very out of their depth.
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“...Shang Qinghua saved my life,” Mobei-Jun says, which is the first time he’s spoken without someone else speaking to him first. “Many times, he has done this.”
Luo Jiahui sets down her teacup, listening expectantly.
“Even when I did not trust him, and he did not trust me, Qinghua has always provided shelter and safety,” Mobei-Jun says slowly, solemnly. “Medicine, when I have been injured. Direction, when I have been lost. Company and loyalty. This is rare.”
“Yes,” Luo Jiahui agrees.
“The trust I have put in him has never been betrayed.”
Shang Qinghua kind of feels like he’s overheating here - like maybe his heart is melting! Mobei-Jun as a character has always prized loyalty above all! “I had no fucking clue,” he thinks. “Honestly, how the FUCK did I have no fucking clue?! Hindsight is incredible!”
“I would not betray him,” Mobei-Jun says, looking to Shang Qinghua directly. “My life has been his since the day we met.”
Shang Qinghua tries not to melt even more. Mobei-Jun is supposed to be an ice demon! What the hell is this?! It’s unfair! It’s embarrassing! It’s too much!
“...Good,” Luo Jiahui says, determinedly. “I’m happy to hear that. My hard-working brother needs someone to appreciate and cherish him.”
“Yes.”
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AN: Mobei-Jun is like, “Humans use words. I need to use words. I need to be direct about this because humans are bad at understanding things.”
And Luo Jiahui is like, “Oh my, you are very intense. Okay.”
-
Mobei-Jun nods. “I did not think a human would ever care for a demon child.”
Luo Jiahui frowns a little. “Oh?”
“I admire this,” Mobei-Jun amends, frowning back. “I do not know how humans are raised. It is good that your child has never had to doubt his safety here.”
“...Of course.”
“It is clear that your child is loved beyond his bloodline.”
“Of course,” Luo Jiahui insists, with an offended note in her voice. “When I found Binghe in that river, I didn’t know he was part demon, but I would have taken him in anyway! Whoever the parent is, whatever the parent has done, it’s never the baby’s fault. Even if a parent has done something wrong, then babies shouldn’t suffer for it. All children should be cherished.”
Luo Jiahui’s voice breaks a little, her eyes turning wet. Shang Qinghua fumbles for a handkerchief to offer his sister-in-law, which she accepts gratefully.
He wonders if she’s thinking about her stillborn baby. She doesn’t talk about her other baby very often, but she does sometimes. She told him once that she observes that day. It’s something that she insists on doing alone.
“...I was left in the human world as a young child,” Mobei-Jun says.
Shang Qinghua’s head snaps up. He knows that, but that’s because he wrote that. He has never, ever heard Mobei-Jun talk about it before.
“Oh, no,” Luo Jiahui says.
“I was nearly killed by humans,” Mobei-Jun informs them.
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Luo Jiahui says.
“It was my uncle’s doing. He wishes to see me dead.” Mobei-Jun says this like it’s just another fact of life, not even an upsetting one, which kind of makes it one of the saddest fucking things that Shang Qinghua has ever heard the man say.
“That’s terrible,” Luo Jiahui says vehemently. “How rotten.”
Mobei-Jun blinks at her. His expression is still solemn, but the pause seems surprised.
Shang Qinghua almost wants to shrug. Yep, his sister-in-law is just like this!
“I have promised Qinghua that I will protect your son,” Mobei-Jun says to her. “I make you the same promise now.”
“...Thank you.”
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AN: Mobei-Jun is like, “I understand you to be one of the rare humans who is not a piece of shit and who would have saved me as a child. I respect this. I don’t fucking understand it, but I understand you should be protected and that your child should be protected. I am doing this for Shang Qinghua and not because I have any personal issues surrounding the endangerment of demon children.”
Luo Jiahui is like, “Oh, he’s soft inside! He’ll protect my Binghe. Okay, I like him now. I didn’t want to, but anyone who basically professes to be willing to die for my child and my brother has my reluctant approval.”
-
Shang Qinghua can’t help it. The energy in here is so weird! He laughs.
“My king, have you had that all this time?”
Mobei-Jun doesn’t say anything, he just frowns.
“Clearly he was waiting to return it in person, Houhua,” Luo Jiahui admonishes. “It’s not his fault that you took so long introducing us or surely he would have returned it sooner. Don’t make it out to be impolite.”
Mobei-Jun gives Shang Qinghua’s sister-in-law an approving look.
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AN: Mobei-Jun is like, “Oh, she’s smarter than Qinghua. Good. (Not that my Shang Qinghua isn’t very clever, but he’s an idiot.)”
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And sometimes it’s just nice to take a minute to sit back, relax, and see his disciples daring their shidi, his fellow transmigrator, to chug the spiciest soup on the menu.
“Ah, kids,” Shang Qinghua says to Luo Jiahui.
Luo Jiahui is making a very concerned expression as her sisters, Shang Qinghua’s head disciples, and even Liu Mingyan chant: “Chug! Chug! Chug!” Yeah, he should probably stop them! But why would he? If anyone throws up from this, he’ll just appear out of nowhere to scare the shit out of all of them and then make them clean it up. It’s fine. He says as much to Luo Jiahui.
“They’re old enough to know better,” she says, but she looks fond now. “Their shifu should have taught them better manners, hm?”
“Hey! Only… four of those are mine.”
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AN: Friends for Shen Yuan! Friends for Shen Yuan!
Also SQH being like, “Oh, fuck, I really have too many kids.”
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Luo Jiahui sighs wistfully. “It is nice having children in here again, even big ones who are supposed to be adults now. I’m so proud of how Binghe has grown, but I miss when he was little. I miss when I could pick him up and carry him around. Uncle Han’s daughter brought her new baby in yesterday. He was so cute!”
“Aha, don’t steal a baby to fill the empty nest, please!”
Luo Jiahui swats him. “I wouldn’t do something like that!” she insists, cheeks flushing pink.
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AN: Baby?! Baby for Luo Jiahui and Liu Qingge?! Maybe!
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