#wish I could just be sad without all the sobbing it hurts my head

[great-and-small]

All good things must come to an end, including wonderful old dogs. I am sad to say my sweet little rat dog Momo passed away this week. I helped deliver Momo the day before I started sixth grade and she has been my constant companion since that day. She was just a few months shy of making her 18th birthday!

How do I even begin to eulogize this dog? Momo hated monkeys, loved eating moths, and never really decided how she felt about rides in the car. She was once autographed by an NFL player (who unsurprisingly told 14-year-old me he’d never been asked to sign a dog before), she was nearly killed by a cat after being scratched in the jugular vein, and I once carried her to the top of a volcano. Momo was dumb as a rock, but also unfailingly loyal and fearless in a way that an animal built like a collection of toothpicks really shouldn’t be. She was my bright and present constant, and she could always make me laugh.

Knowing the love of a dog is one of the best things about being a human, and through the grief I am overwhelmed with gratitude that I got to spend 17 years on this planet with strange little Momo as my best friend. I could never thank her enough. Our dogs really are the very best of us. Now please go give yours a big hug for me!

[sun-kissy]

I am BEGGING on my knees for a part two to "Meant to be" 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

your wish is my command, sweetheart!! here is part 2. thank you guys so much for all the love on part 1 ♡

meant to be | poly!wolfstar (part 2)

part 1 | part 2

tw: angst, hurt/comfort

poly!wolfstar x reader

The chillness radiating off the wall behind you does nothing to ease your pain as you slump to the ground outside the common room.

You press your fingertips to your lips, nibbling on your nails anxiously as you feel the hot tears dribble down your cheeks.

It was over. Your relationship with Sirius and Remus was over, and it was all your fault. You had ruined it.

It had felt like the right decision two minutes ago when you were admitting your troubles in the common room. It had felt like something you had to do for the past few weeks, whenever you saw the boys together without you, whenever you felt like an extra in their relationship.

So why did it feel like there was a gaping hole in your heart? Why did it feel like your insides had just been clawed out and crushed to pieces? 

This was your doing, your choice, you told yourself. No point mourning for a relationship that was already dead. 

Maybe Sirius and Remus were bubbling with laughter and cuddling in the common room right now. You really hoped that they were glad to be rid of you, because it was worth feeling this hurt if it meant they were happy.

As your thoughts of culpability begin to consume you, your vision starts to blur with tears. You lean your head against the wall, eyes closing as a soft sob escapes your lips. 

It was dawning upon you that you really had lost the boys you loved, and there was nothing you could do about it.

You freeze, your train of thought evaporating into thin air when you suddenly feel a hand on your cheek, thumbing the tears away.

You could recognise his touch anywhere, hands calloused from animalistic tendencies but gentle as a lamb when he traced hearts on your skin.

Eyes fluttering open, you come face to face with Remus, his beautiful face scrunched up in a sullen frown. Your vision flickers over to Sirius, standing behind him.

Sirius looks unsteady on his feet, swaying slightly from side to side with bloodshot eyes and tear tracks on his cheeks. Your heart feels heavy in your chest, and you know you probably look just as bad as he does. He was gazing at you with an unfamiliar desperation in his eyes, which truly, really mortified you. And to think you thought he would be pleased with the breakup - god, you were horrible.

“Dove,” Remus breathes out in a quiet rasp, drawing your attention back to him. You will your heart to stay intact as you look into his hazel eyes, but you feel it breaking anyway. Not a single word comes out your mouth knowing full well that you would break down into a sobbing mess if you spoke. You avert your gaze and opt to stare at the ground instead.

“Hey, look at me, please,” he whispers, rubbing your cheek again with those stupidly lovely hands and looking at you with those disgustingly pretty eyes and all the love in the world that you wished that you could die. You quietly raise your head to look at Remus again, and he offers you a small, forced smile to compensate you for your effort. “There’s my girl,” he murmurs.

His hand suddenly retracts from your face, and you hate to admit it but you miss his warmth immediately. His eyes widen slightly, and it’s like he remembered that you’re not his girl anymore. You’re not his. 

There’s a beat of sad silence as all of you sit with the fact that things weren’t the same as they used to be, maybe they never would be.

“Y/n,” Sirius croaks out, breaking the silence as you whip your head up to look at his grief-stricken face. It’s not so much the brokenness of his voice as the fact that he isn’t trying to hide it which hurts your heart. “Can we… can we please just talk this out? Please?”

He takes a small wobbly step toward you, extending his hand. You feel the sirens in your head start to sound loudly. Should you give him your hand? Should you give him your heart again?

You despise the feeling of longing which immediately strikes you. The desire to feel Sirius’ fingers intertwined with yours again, the wish to hold him in your arms, the need to wipe those tears from his lovely face. You wished things to be as they once were, his arms around your waist and lips on your forehead. Remus’ head on your lap as you combed your fingers through his hair, eyes fleetingly meeting before smiles full of love were passed around. It wasn’t just a relationship, it was a home. It was achingly sacred.

That home was broken, tarnished. Maybe it had been broken since the day you fell in love with them. Maybe it had been torn apart when they carried their relationship along without you. Or maybe you had ruined it when you told them you wanted no part in this affair anymore.

But if there was one thing you knew, it was that things that were broken could be fixed. You knew this fact like the back of your hand, from the countless times Remus had uttered those exact words to you when you were dissolving into a mess of tears and panic. You knew the words from when Sirius murmured them softly in your ear, stroking your hair as you sobbed yourself half to death. When you were trapped under the debris of problems that was your life, broken and scarred, they had pulled you out. They had fixed you.

Undeniably, Sirius and Remus had made their fair share of mistakes, unintentionally shunning you from the best parts of their relationship. They had torn your heart apart, but they fixed it up every single time they kissed you or smiled at you like you were the most precious thing in the world. Those fleeting moments had made all the hurt seem like nothing.

So who were you to deny the boys your affection? Even when they made mistakes, it was okay; because they loved you, and that was enough. You knew they might stumble and they may mess things up, but they would always get back up and take your hand. The sheer force of their love would be enough to overcome their shortcomings, you were sure of it.

So when Sirius stretches out his palm towards you, you wrap your hand around his. Remus watches on quietly, wide eyes darting between the both of you. 

Sirius’ face lights up immediately, a hint of relief in his eyes. It looks like all the tension has left his features as he gives you a small grin. Your lips curve upwards in a soft smile.

“Yeah, I think… I think we can talk about it. I’m sorry for just walking out on you guys like that.”

“No, angel,” Remus retorts immediately, standing up and wrapping an arm around your waist to haul you up as well. “It’s not your fault at all. We… we screwed up, big time. We were blind to your feelings, and we’re really fucking sorry for that,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair defeatedly. 

“But we’re gonna do better. We’re gonna make it work,” Sirius pipes up uncharacteristically firmly, his hand squeezing yours reassuringly. Remus nods, lifting his gaze to look at you as well. “Yeah, for you. We’re gonna try harder just for you.” Seeing the determination and love on their faces involuntarily melts your heart and brings a smile to your face, a real one this time.

The hint of happiness on your face is a big enough victory for them, Sirius’ smile morphing into a usual full-blown grin, and Remus’ arm tightening around your waist as he pulls you into his side. He moves towards the common room, Sirius’ hand still tightly gripping yours.

“We’re gonna talk about it, but not after some much-deserved cuddles and hot chocolate,” Remus murmurs, a small grin gracing his face when he sees the smile on your lips. The three of you walk in that awfully awkward position, you pressed against Remus with your hand tightly gripping Sirius’.

But you wouldn’t have it any other way. Just like this relationship, which had its ups and downs. That was especially the case for a three-way affair, something foreign to all of you. You were bound to slip up and you were bound to make mistakes.

But you loved them, and they loved you. That was all that mattered.

[chaethewriter]

You're dead to me [5]

dad!Jake Sully x human!daughter!reader

In which Jake Sully leaves his life on earth to settle down with the Omatikaya people as Toruk Makto. Having a family that consists of four kids with Neytiri, everything seems to work out just fine, but what if the past comes back for him? And his babygirl is right there in front of him?

warning: english isn't my first language, sad and vulnerable Jake, angsty, happy reader?

Word count: 3,2k

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"Daddy, will you be my daddy forever?", you babbled thoughtlessly as your cheek is pressed against his shoulder, looking up at him from your position. The two of you lay in his bed as you couldn't sleep without him. A chuckle left his lips, making his chest vibrate against your skin. You giggled at the feeling and wrapped your arms a little tighter around his head. His hand was on your back, rubbing it reassuringly making you feel sleepy. He playfully rubs his cheek against yours, knowing his stubbles will tickle you. Just like he expected, the loudest giggles left your lips at the feeling. "As long as you want me to. And even if you don't want me as your daddy anymore, I will always be." You frowned at that response, pulling away from him as you sit on his chest, putting your hands on both of his cheeks as you squeezed them together, "You'll be my daddy forever!!"

"Don't touch me, Sully!!" You couldn't help but scream and wail at the sight of him, now that he finally realized who you were to him. It was like all the emotions you tried to keep in decided to escape all that once, making you feel so overwhelmed to the point you started sobbing out of frustration. Jake got closer to you, now on his knees as he slid closer to you with a desperate expression written on his face. Even on his knees, he was taller than you, his figure looming over you while he moved closer to your panicked self. The sight of you frantically trying to get away from him made his eyes tear up, "my baby please-" he got closer to you to attempt to comfort you, but you screamed right in his face as he tried to, "I'M NOT YOUR BABY." You hugged yourself as you leaned against the wall, loud sobs leaving your lips in an attempt to calm down. Yet it doesn't seem to work. You couldn't stop your sobs, when you did they only got worse. "I need you to listen to me, please," Jake finally sat in front of you. He really wanted to have you in his arms, hugging you tightly against his chest, but he knew that if he did that, talking to you would only be harder as you would be focusing on pushing him away. So he sat there, waiting patiently as he watched you with a loving glance. The last time he saw you, you were a tiny and adorable girl on his lap. Now you were a warrior and on top of that one of the best of your class. He felt so much pride for what you had become and wished he could have watched you grow up. Hence this was the time to redeem himself, be a better dad for you, be there for you, and make up for all the lost time. For you, he would wait for ages if that meant for you to forgive him. "I don't want to see you, go away!" You balled your fists as you punched his chest, a huff leaving Jake's lips as you did so. Your punches were genuine as his chest actually started burning from the painful punches you left him. But he let you, he let you take your emotions out on him. Because even though it hurt, the way he hurt you for leaving most likely left an even bigger scar. "Why won't you go away?!" "Because I won't leave you alone again. Let's talk, I need to talk to you."

Talk? He wanted to talk? He wanted to talk after years of leaving your side?

You actually laughed at how stupid he sounded, eyes wide open as an unreadable expression was written on your face. Dry tears stained your cheeks and your hair was a mess because of your frantic movements. Your eyes were expressionless, yet at the same time, he could read how you felt. "There is nothing to talk about," you pushed your sharp nail into his chest, "between us. You left me, abandoned me. DO YOU KNOW HOW I FELT?!" He wanted to protest, beg you to listen. Hell, he would even submit in front of his entire clan if that meant that you would listen to him. He finally wrapped his arms around you, a sob leaving his lips as he felt your warmth. "I am so sorry for leaving you, I just wanted the best for us, for you. I wanted to make you happy, but I failed in doing so. I should have talked to you instead of leaving you so suddenly. I should have given you a choice as well. I love you, I'm so sorry." Jake was ranting desperately at this point. He probably didn't make any sense, but he still had to try with anything he could. Your eyes widen at the gesture, the feeling of his warmth so familiar yet so unknown. You knew you had to pull away, so you bathed in his warmth one more time before putting all your strength in your chest. You leaned forward and put your hands on his chest, gathering all your strength in your arms to push him off you in one go. The push actually knocked Jake out of his balance, and he fell on his back. He watched you with a tear-stained expression, shaking his head as he couldn't form a single word. You rushed to the door with your back faced towards him, grabbing your mask to pull it over your face. You then turn your head to the side, looking at him with a look that could kill. The look of a warrior with a job. "You are dead to me, Jake Sully. We are nothing but strangers. Treat me as your acquaintance, for we are nothing more than that." And you left. The same way he did all those years ago. For Jake, those words were the final straw. He was seated on his knees as his elbows were on the cold floor, hot tears rolling down his cheeks as loud sobs left his lips. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." He repeated the words a million times, hoping they would reach you as he crumbled apart. No strength left to continue as the pain and guilt succumbed to his entire mind, body, and soul. Both Max and Norm emerged from the back of the facility, as well as the other scientists who heard the commotion. They watched how Jake Sully crumbled apart like a broken wall after an earthquake. Both knew he deserved the harsh reality of his actions, yet they couldn't help but feel pity as they watched their friend in his most vulnerable state.

You walked through the Pandorean forests to clear your mind, your eyes bloodshot red from the amount of crying you did. You sniffed inside your mask as your hands were balled into fists. You were so angry. Angry at him for leaving, angry at yourself for acting this way, angry at the world for taking him away from you. You didn't know how far you walked, but for now you could care less. You needed some quiet, alone time. Away from all the conflicts and responsibilities. Mindlessly walking through the forest, you arrived at this beautiful scenery: a river running through the forest, decorated with blooming flowers and logs to sit on. The sight was beautiful, something you truly missed having on planet earth. Mother nature, without any form of buildings or technology that ruined the place. You took a seat on one of the logs, adjusting yourself as you put your feet cross-legged. You closed your eyes as you listened to your surroundings: the running river, your steady breathing. Your lips are pursed when you let the tears escape. You didn't try to stop them anymore, it would only hurt more if you did so. You let them silently roll down your cheeks as you bathed in the sun. As you were focused on your hearing, you heard something different in the order. Leaves rustling through the wind. Your eyebrows raise as you stopped your sobs, keeping quiet to await the same sound. Yet it never came while the wind was still blowing. You steadily move your hand towards your hip to take your hunter's knife out of the holder. In one swift move, you turn your body around, leaning one knee on the log as your other leg was on the mossy ground, knife in front of you in a defensive position while the other hand was sheathed on the handle of your katana. You raised your eyebrows when you came face to face with four Na'vi kids, one of them being Neteyam Sully. Your knife was directly pointing against the Na'vi walking in front of the group, who had his arms in the air in defense. "Mawey, mawey." Neteyam stepped closer to you as he put his hand on your arm, lowering the knife. You sighed in relief at the sighting of a familiar face. If it was a Palulukan you would have accepted defeat. "What are you doing here?" He asked you again, stepping in front of the three other Na'vi as he took a seat next to you. "I'm just trying to clear my head, you know." You sat back on the log comfortably as you closed your eyes yet again.

"Are you our sister?"

"Lo'ak!!"

Your eyes widen at the question, watching the four kids as they all had different expressions written on their faces. "What? That's why we came looking for her right? Don't act like you all didn't come with me for that." The Na'vi named Lo'ak said as a matter of fact, taking a seat on the mossy ground as he watched you with curiosity. "I mean I came because adventure! Hii I'm Tuk!" This little adorable girl came up to you and you couldn't help but boom at her, "Hii Tuk I'm (Y/N), aren't you a pretty girl?" Tuk flushed as a response, "thank you!! This is my sister Kiri and my brother Lo'ak. You already know Neteyam!" You smiled at her innocence, seeing yourself in her as she started rambling about whatever. Neteyam pulled Tuk closer to him as he put her on his lap, still weary being in the presence of a human, being a momma's boy and all. Kiri took a seat next to Lo'ak who was still staring at you, "You still didn't answer my question." He earned a slap from Kiri as a response, her eyes rolling before she turned to look at you with a reassuring smile, "I'm so sorry about him. You don't have to tell you if you don't want to." You watched the four siblings, your four siblings, with a pursed smile. They deserved to know the truth, but were you the one to tell them? "We already know, if you are our father's adopted daughter, about your childhood." Your eyebrows raised in surprise at Neteyam's words, "did he tell you?" This time Lo'ak was the one to respond, "we may have overheard dad talking to mom about it, about you." That meant he talked about your parents as well. You didn't know how to feel about this situation. Should you tell them? They didn't deserve to not know about their sibling if they wanted to see you as one. They deserved the truth as you both had the same father. So you replied, "yes, yes I am. I'm (Y/N) (L/N) Sully, adopted by Jake Sully at birth."

Their eyes widen in surprise. Tuk tried to jump up from excitement, but Neteyam held her tightly against his chest, "so you're my older sister?" His eyes twinkled, even though he is trying to hide the fact that he was feeling kind of happy about having an older sister, not needing to share the responsibilities alone. If you wanted to acknowledge them as your siblings that is. You smiled at the way his ears perked up and nodded your head, "do you need some younger brother babying now that you know you aren't the oldest anymore?" You said it in a teasing tone, but you actually meant most of it. As the older sibling, he must have a lot of responsibilities with the way he is told to call his own dad 'sir'. Neteyam's cheeks flush as he let out an annoyed huff, still shielding you from Tuk if you were to try anything funny. "This is actually so cool! We have a human sister!" Lo'ak exclaimed and moved a little closer to you, "and we have the same alien hands!" You chuckled a bit at his silly behavior, he must be the odd one out of the family. "What is earth like?" Kiri asked suddenly, since her biological mother is a human and her adopted father used to be one as well. "Yes what's it like! Dad never speaks to his life on earth.. well we know now why but- ow!!" Kiri hissed at her younger brother, pinching him in the arm. Your eyes faltered at the mention of your dad and Neteyam seemed to notice this. He wanted to comfort you, yet was still weary of you. But you were his sister right? And come to protect Pandora from your own species right? He was in conflict with himself, but when he heard your silent sniff with his hearing, Neteyam immediately pulls your small body against his much larger one. You smiled at the warm and welcoming feeling. Now you didn't only have Seb and Raja as your family, but also your four siblings. You turned to Kiri and flashed her a small smile, "well, earth is so much more different than here. Nature is slowly disappearing as they ruin it all."

"They?" Lo'ak asked curiously and you nod at his question, "my species, humans. They destroy nature to build buildings, houses, companies you call it."

"What are companies?" This time Tuk asked a question, her eyes filled with curiosity as she learned something new from you. "Let me give you an example. So you hunt for food right? Say, you hunt a lot of that food all at once and you give it to people, but you want something in return. That's what companies do."

"But that's terrible, to kill so much all at once," Neteyam whispered under his breath. As a warrior, he had learned to appreciate nature, kill an animal respectfully, and thank it for feeding them. But this? Killing animals mercilessly? That goes against all of his norms and values. You nodded your head, "it's why so many animals go extinct on my planet. The humans are killing their mother," you took your hunter's knife and played with it while you continued your sentence, "but not everyone is so bad. I met wonderful people back on earth. People that fought against the cruel ways that destroy the planet." You looked up at Neteyam and Tuk, then Lo'ak and lastly Kiri, "I'm here to protect you all as well. As a warrior and a sister." Your hand carefully went to caress Neteyam's cheek, "worry no more baby bro, I'll be the one to keep you safe."

The five of you talked all day, they were such nice company. You mainly talked about yourselves, because most noticed how talking about Jake made your mood instantly drop. Most, because Lo'ak was as oblivious as ever. Neteyam wasn't usually one to disobey orders, so when he noticed how it was almost past eclipse, he shot up from his seat, "guys we gotta go, it's going to be dark soon and it's dangerous to be out around eclipse." He held Tuk's hand as he moved his gaze to you, "you should come to high camp with us. The lab is too far away and you need to be there tomorrow anyway." Your eyes shot up in surprise, "tomorrow?" You didn't know anything about tomorrow. Did you miss anything on the planning? Neteyam nodded at your question, "yes tomorrow, no one told you?" You shrugged in return, "I could have missed that part. The two other warriors I am with were busy today in different clans and I had to stay at lab, so I haven't spoken to them since." You explained to your younger brother. Both Raja and Seb had to go to two different clans. Being one of the best warriors, they had to watch over some important stuff for a while. You stayed at the lab, in case there were any emergencies. Kiri already called for her Ikran, a loud screech leaving her lips as she did so, "come on Tuk!" She called out to her youngest sibling. Kiri's Ikran lands swiftly on the mossy ground as it let out a screech. Your eyes widen in admiration, "wow... They're much bigger in real life." You only read about Ikran's in books and illustrations, but this was an insane experience for you. Tuk ran up to Kiri as the two of them got on her Ikran, Tuk sitting in front as she leaned against her sister's chest. Neteyam, as well as Lo'ak called for their Ikran, the same screech leaving their lips. "She's riding with me, Lo'ak. I don't want her getting in even more conflict with dad than she already is." Lo'ak sighed loudly, knowing that Neteyam was right, as he climbed onto his own Ikran. Your eyes sparkled as she ran up to your brother, "I'm sitting on your ikran?! Right now?!" He chuckled at your excitement, happy that he didn't see any tears anymore. The hint of sadness was still slightly displayed in his eyes and the way your cheeks were covered in dried-up tears, but he was happy that their presence made you feel a tad bit happier. He took you in his arms as he lifted you on his banshee, "shh, we are flying with three today." He whispered against his Ikran's head, patting her on her face before he got up the banshee with ease. "Okay hold on here and trust me, alright?" He held your hands as he showed you where to hold them. You smiled cheeky, never so ready for something before.

Jake's flight back to high camp was depressing. His banshee, bob, also felt the distress, guilt, and conflict because of the bond that kept them connected. The ride to high camp felt extremely long and draining, all his energy seemed to disappear. His eyes felt heavy as the tears couldn't stop flowing, the wind making it worse as it burned his eyes even further. After you ran out, Norm and Max tried to talk some sense into him. Yet he couldn't their words clearly. He seemed to be in a trance, unable to move as your words rang into his head.

You're dead to me, Jake Sully.

He shook his head to forget them. No, he wouldn't end it at this. Not like that.

Not again.

A/N: tysm for reading!! Reader is finally smiling thanks to the Sully kids hearteyes. Can't believe how I managed to write a total of 15k words so far, meanwhile I am struggling with the book I'm going to publish. Should probably focus on my book for a bit💀 but daddy issues Jake is also important. hope you enjoyed. <3

Taglist in the comments!! if you didn't get tagged it might be because you changed your username, your settings or it could be that I forgot to.

[shakespeareanwannabe]

As You Wish, Chapter 19

Summary: When arriving at Camp Silver Star, Abby Floyd was anticipating a summer of adventure with an ocean separating her from the three people she loved most: her mom, her Uncle Bob and her Aunt Natasha. But after a run in with Charlie Seresin, an extremely familiar looking and irritating camper in a different cabin, her summer plans take a turn that neither girl ever could have expected.

Trigger Warnings: reader's children are described as being blond with green eyes because genetics are wild and Jake's genes are strong, reader is canonically Bob's sister (but biological relation is never discussed), reader goes by Buttercup and is tattooed, angst, crying, discussions of therapy, sadness, reference to divorce, references to labour and delivery (not explicit but detailed), references to babies, swearing, references to the hospital, self-doubt and self-loathing

A/N: Surprise! I somehow got this chapter done in just a week, and it just so happens to be the last one! If the winds are with me, the epilogue should be out next Friday. But I just want to take a second and thank everyone who is read, commented, reblogged, liked. It means everything to me to get to play in this sandbox, and I really appreciate all the love!

Sharp Memorial Hospital, almost 12 years ago

“One more big push, honey. One more and then you can have a little rest!” The OBGYN urged.

“I can’t! I can’t do this!” Buttercup sobbed, head falling forward as she panted. She felt like she’d been at this for days. She hadn’t slept in over 24 hours. Everything hurt. She missed her bed. She missed the little home she lived in with Jake. She missed not being in pain.

“Shhh, Buttercup. It’s okay.” Jake soothed from his seat on a little stool right by her head.

One gesture from him and the room silenced. He’d been her rock through this whole ordeal, never once leaving her side, never complaining about not getting any sleep or how hard the couch was. He rubbed her feet and her back, fed her ice chips, snuck her a little snack because frankly the hospital’s No Eating While in Labour rule was fucking barbaric. He wasn’t about to make his wife starve herself for over a day on the off chance that she would need surgery. Without letting go of her hand, he stood and propped himself on the bed in front of her. She had opted to push on her hands and knees. Perhaps not the most dignified position, but it was the one she felt most comfortable in. Or at least, the position she had felt the most comfortable in. Honestly, she hadn’t known comfort in over 12 hours.

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed quietly, squeezing his hand as another contraction rocked her body. “I can’t do this.”

“Yes, you can.” It wasn’t Jake’s Texan drawl that comforted her now. It was Hangman’s no-nonsense voice that cut through the sleep deprivation and pain. “I know you’re scared, darlin’. I know you’re hurting. I know you want this to be over. You’ve been a fucking rockstar all fucking day and you deserve a break. Now, I’m going to come sit in front of you on the bed, okay?” Jake peeked around at the doctor to make sure it was alright before moving the pillows and sitting against the headboard. “You’re going to put your hands on my shoulders and you’re gonna squeeze so damn tight that you’re going to receive a citation for damaging military property. But you’re going to give us one more big push. Our babies need you right now. Okay?”

Buttercup couldn’t help but nod. Not when she was looking into the beautiful green eyes of the man she loved. She could do this. She could be brave and face the pain, the fear. For him. For their two beautiful babies.

Her next contraction came and went in a flurry of activity. She couldn’t remember the pain or the fear. But she could remember the nurse handing her a squirming baby girl before handing Jake the scissors and letting him cut the cord.

“Baby number 2 is on the way, but you should have a few minutes to cuddle with baby number one before you need to get back to work, mama,” Dr. Friedman smiled at the family of 3 while swapping out her gloves.

“She’s beautiful, darlin’.” Jake pressed a kiss to Buttercup’s sweat-slick forehead. “You still like her name?”

Buttercup nodded, panting heavily as she leaned against him, cradling their daughter between their bodies. “Abigail Juliet Seresin. Want to hold her?”

Jake took the tiny girl in his arms and felt something inside of himself melt. The most perfect little being in the world, and she was half him, half Buttercup. “Hey Abby,” he murmured, hearing a monitor start to beep more rapidly. “I’m your daddy. The total badass that was just holding you is your mama. And your sibling is on their way, I think, so I’m going to pass you off to this lovely nurse to hold you so I can help your mama.”

With one more big push, another flurry of activity, and a sigh of relief, their second daughter entered the world. Jake scooped Buttercup into his arms to help her settle into a more comfortable position before the nurse handed her the second squalling baby. Abby was wrapped in a light pink blanket and deposited in her father’s arms.

“Charlotte…” Buttercup murmured, limbs shaking with exhaustion. “Charlotte Delta Seresin.”

Jake couldn’t help the tear that came to his eye. “They’re perfect. You’re perfect.”

Neither were aware of what the nurses were doing around them, and they didn’t really care. Both were enamoured with their daughters. Their family.

Staring at his three girls, Jake made a vow. A vow that would supersede any he made to the military. He would do whatever it takes to be there for his family. To protect them. He would never, ever stop fighting for them.

London, England, Now

Everything had been packed into her duffle bag. Childcare had been arranged. There had even been a convenient black cab sitting outside of her house. And then…he was there.

“Jake?”

The man in question stood at her front gate, a bouquet of pink roses in one hand and a gym bag in the other. The black cab idling behind him trundled down the street as they stared at each other.

He looked as tired as she felt, and she felt the heavy press of guilt weigh down on her shoulders. She had done that to him. She had left him behind, left Charlie behind, and he had to deal with the consequences of her actions.

One hand lingering on her front gate, he offered a tentative smile. “Hey Buttercup.”

“What…” She swallowed back the emotions suddenly clogging her throat. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, it took about ten seconds for me to realize that I didn’t want you to go. I would’ve been here earlier, but organizing childcare, last-minute flights, someone to take over ranch business…” He sighed and shrugged. “It took a bit to get everything settled. But I’m here now because I realized something.” He reached over and opened the latch to her gate, swinging it open to let himself in. In two strides, he was standing at the foot of her stairs.

“What did you realize?” she murmured.

He handed her the flowers, his hand lingering to give hers a tight squeeze. “I realized that I listened to you give all sorts of reasons for why you couldn’t stay, and I gave you reasons why you could. But I never gave you the reasons why I want you to stay.”

She pulled the flowers up to her nose to give herself a moment to compose herself. Never in a million years did she think that he would follow her. Not when she was the one who left. But there he was, standing on her front stoop in London, giving her flowers and wanting to talk to her.

She sniffled. “Let’s go inside.”

Jake nodded gratefully and stepped up to stand at her back as she fumbled with unlocking the door again. “Is Abby home? I’d love to see her but this conversation…I don’t think it can wait.”

She turned her head back to look at him, so handsome in his red flannel and blue jeans. “She’s at a friend’s house. Bob dropped her off before going to work. Where’s Charlie?” Her heart ached, remembering how Charlie had refused to even meet her gaze as they had packed into the airport taxi.

“With Nat and Javy.”

She nodded and let him into the house, dropping her duffle onto the floor and guiding him into the living room. “I’m just going to get some water for these,” she murmured. “Do you want something to drink?”

Jake shook his head, staring around the room as she disappeared into the kitchen. Being in her space felt natural. Almost like he had been there before. The dark teal walls set off the walnut furniture, and he recognized a few of the paintings hanging from the walls, prints that she had mentioned over a decade ago that she loved. Photos of her family lined the mantlepiece. Most were of Buttercup and Abby, but there were some photos of Bob and Natasha as well. The whole space felt homey, lived in, in a way that he hadn’t expected. He could see why she had wanted to come back. This was a home she had built for herself. He’d be hesitant to give it up too, if he had been in her shoes.

A light clearing of the throat turned his attention back to Buttercup, standing in the doorway to the kitchen. “Do you want to sit?” She gestured to the soft suede couch, and he took a seat on one end, green eyes following her as she settled into an armchair next to him, a small side table in between them. The silence stretched between them as Buttercup picked her fingernails, staring down at her hands. Jake could only watch her, all the words he wanted to say building up in his chest.

“I’m sorry—”

“I wanted to tell you—”

Their words mixed together in a jumble until they stopped and grinned at each other, embarrassment painting their features.

“Do…do you want to go first?” Jake offered, noting the almost desperate look in her eyes.

She nodded; eyes fixed on her fingernails. “I’m sorry. I never…I mean, it wasn’t supposed to. Jake, what I’m trying to say is…” She nearly growled in frustration. “I was going to type up everything I wanted to say to you on the flight and memorize it so that this wouldn’t happen.”

“Flight? You were coming to see me?” He could feel the hope blossoming in his chest, and he fought to push it down, smother it so as to not scare her off.

“I…” she blushed. “Yeah. I wanted to talk to you. How I left…it wasn’t fair. To you or Charlie or Abby. I wanted to clear the air…maybe, try to fix things. If you wanted to.”

A small grin tugged at the corners of his lips. “Yeah. Yeah, I want to.”

Her responding smile was a weak, nervous thing, and he reached out his hand to grasp hers. “I’m sorry, too.” She opened her mouth to argue, but he squeezed her hand, silently urging her to let him speak. “I probably shouldn’t have taken you to bed that night. Not because I didn’t want to. God, I wanted to. I’d basically been white knuckling it since I dove into that hotel pool after you, and when you told me to kiss you, I kinda lost my grip.”

“You lost your grip?” Her voice was incredulous, and he grinned in response.

“You’ve always been able to knock me off my game, Buttercup. It’s one of the things I love most about you.” He smiled at her, squeezing her hand as she blushed. “But I should’ve known what that would do to you, to us. Especially since we didn’t get a chance to talk about it and what it meant.”

She nodded, tilting her head to look at him. “What…what did it mean?”

He huffed a sigh, leaning his head back against the suede sofa. “Jesus, Buttercup…it meant everything to me. Holding you again, feeling you again…” He sighed again and ran a hand through his hair. “It felt like things were finally back to normal. I woke up with you in my arms again after almost 12 years. I got to kiss your cheek that morning as I snuck out of bed to make our family breakfast. I got to hang out with both my daughters. We were planning a full day of fun family activities, and it felt so fucking domestic that the Jake from 15 years ago probably would’ve punched me in the dick for being so soft.” He grinned at the soft rasp of her chuckle. “And yeah, I was pretty pissed off when you told me you were leaving. I saw my daughter hurting and I was hurting, and I lashed out at you.”

“I deserved it.”

He was already shaking his head before she could get the words out. “Not like that, you didn’t. I basically told you the same shit I did 12 years ago when you told me you wanted to take the job out here. I didn’t listen to you. And looking at this place, who can blame you for wanting to come back?” He looked around again, wishing the walls could talk. Wishing they would tell him stories of the 12 years he missed out on because he was such a stubborn prick. “You built a life for yourself and Abby out here. You should be proud.”

“And you should hate me.” Her words, gasped out through a sob, brought his attention back to her like a shot. “I abandoned you again. I couldn’t keep my shit together long enough to have a real, adult conversation with you because I was so fucking scared that, if I did, I would stay. We would stay and things would be so fucking good between us, because they were also so fucking good between us, and then the other shoe would drop and I would end up hurt again, except this time Abby would choose you because I’m the monster who keeps fucking up, so I would end up all alone, and I’ve worked so hard to be okay with being alone but I don’t think I would be able to recover from being with you again.” Hot tears streaked down her cheeks, her breaths coming out in heavy pants as she tried to catch her breath. “And I was so damn scared of being vulnerable with you, but it was so damn easy to fall back in step beside you. The dinner, and the football game, and the party, and all these little moments where I found myself slipping, found myself having to remind myself that we weren’t married anymore, and it was scary.” She mopped at her eyes with the sleeves of her oversized sweater and sniffled. “I like who I am better when I’m with you. The scary things aren’t so scary when you’re by my side.” Her admission was so quiet that he had to lean in to hear her. “But needing you like that? I knew it would only hurt me more if I let myself need you again and lost you anyway.”

“You’re not going to lose me again,” he murmured, thumb tracing small circles on the back of her hand.

“You don’t know that.”

“What I know…” He tugged her hand so that she turned to face him. “What I know is that I’m going to fight for you, fight to keep you in my life again. Because I like who I am better when I’m with you too. I’m less of a condescending prick when you’re around. I don’t take stupid, unnecessary risks when I know that I’ve got you to go home to. I don’t…” He cleared his throat, ready to admit the one thing he had never spoken aloud to anyone, not even his therapist. “I don’t feel the pull to get back in the air when I know that the best thing in my life is on the ground. I just never realized that until I lost you.” With another tug at her hand, he pulled her onto the couch beside him. “I told you that I gave you all sorts of reasons why you could stay, but I never told you why I wanted you to stay.” He raised a hand to brush the tears from her watery eyes, broad palm cupping her cheek. “I want you to stay because of how warm and happy the house feels when you’re in it. I want you to stay because of how much lighter Charlie is with you in her life. I want you to stay because you make Rooster less of a miserable dick.” Her snort of laughter made him paused, heart warming at the sound. “I want you to stay because my life hasn’t been the same since you walked out of our home that night, divorce papers signed on the kitchen table with your wedding ring on top.” His thumb skimmed across her cheekbone, and he let those words that were burning in his chest escape. “I want you to stay because I love you and I want to give us another chance.”

Buttercup crumpled into his chest, Jake’s arms going around her to hold her close as the words sank in. He felt safe and warm. He felt like home.

They stayed like that for what felt like hours. Jake only moved to go get Buttercup a glass of water from her kitchen. That had been another peek into her life here. The walls were a light burgundy, cabinets a light grey with silver fixtures and appliances. When he returned, he pressed the glass into her hand before allowing her to curl up into him again, her tears starting to clear.

“How don’t you hate me? I hate me.” Her quiet, ragged voice broke their silence.

“I think maybe that’s the problem,” he murmured, pressing a quiet kiss to her hair. “I never hated you. I tried to, but the more I tried, the less I hated you. It was like…by trying to rationalize hating you, I ended up playing Devil’s advocate for why you left.” He chuckled quietly. “I kept coming to your defence against myself. I guess I just don’t have it in me to hate you. But you…” His firm but gentle hand traced her cheek before tipping her chin up to meet his gaze. “You’ve always been harder on yourself than anyone around you. And I get that. I practically invented that. Part of what made me fall in love with you is that you have the same drive to be perfect, to be the best at everything. That’s what made me the best at Top Gun. That’s what’s made you an award-winning author and a fucking incredible mother. When you got sick, I think maybe you kept blaming yourself for it not being perfect, which only made it worse?”

Buttercup nodded against his fingers on her chin and sighed. “My therapist and I talked about it a lot. I’ve been working on letting go of trying to be perfect, but it’s hard to reconcile with. I did a lot of damage.”

“So did I,” Jake murmured back. “I was basically a team pariah before you came along and turned me into a half decent human being. And maybe if I had admitted to someone—to Mav or Penny or my grandfather—that we needed help, that we were struggling, then maybe I could’ve gotten us both help before divorce became the only option. But living in Texas, having my grandfather around, it really helped. When I was struggling, he told me that I had to work on forgiving myself for letting us fall apart. It took a long time, longer than it should have.” He chuckled morosely and ran a hand over his hair. “Mav always used to tell us that we couldn’t afford to think in the cockpit. That we had to act on instinct and not get caught up in our mistakes. Letting you go, getting divorced? Those are the mistakes that I could never move past. Maybe because I knew I needed to fix them? I don’t know. But I was finally able to forgive myself for the part that I played. And this isn’t going to work if you don’t do the same.”

Fresh tears spilled over Buttercup’s cheeks. “But what if we do try again and it doesn’t work?”

“What if it does work?” He tugged her close and brushed away her tears. “What if it does work and it ends up being incredible?” He pressed a tender kiss to her forehead, reveling in the way she melted against him at the simple touch. “Don’t you think it’s worth it to try?”

Lips trembling, Buttercup met Jake’s green gaze. “You’re worth it,” she whispered through her tears. “You always have been. I just don’t want to hurt you again.”

“You won’t.” Jake’s soft, Texan drawl brooked no argument. “We’ve worked through our crap. We know what to look out for. We know how to communicate better than we did before. And we’ve got a whole team behind us who want us to succeed.” He smiled down at her, so soft and full of love that the last of Buttercup’s defences melted away. “I love you, Buttercup. I always have and I always will. I know we’ve got a ton of logistical bullshit to figure out, like where to live and—”

“Actually—” Buttercup cut him off with a small, sheepish grin. “I might have talked to my company before you got here.”

Jake went impossibly still. “You did?”

She shrugged shyly. “Bob made a good point. I’m the one with the awards, I’m the one with my name on the covers of the books. I should be the one in charge. So…I pointed that out to them. And after a few ultimatums and making one of the lawyers cry, we were able to come to an agreement.” The hope in Jake’s eyes made her chest ache. She reached out and trailed a soft hand over his cheek. “I might have to keep some strange hours, and I need to come back for in-person meetings once a quarter, but otherwise…they’re alright with me working from home. In Texas.”

Jake’s responding whoop of excitement had her covering her ears for all of a second before he scooped her off the couch and spun her around.

“Whoa, whoa, easy cowboy!” Buttercup laughed, hands on his broad chest to steady herself.

“You’re sure this is okay with you?” Jake breathed; face so close to hers that his breath fanned over her.

“I…I want to try again.” Buttercup teared up as she said the words, but she knew them to be true. The truest words she had ever spoken. “I love you, Jake Seresin. I don’t think I ever stopped. And I want to move to Texas to try this again with you.”

Jake’s smile was more brilliant than the Sun. “As you wish, Buttercup.”

Buttercup launched herself into his arms, the arms that had held her and kept her safe for so long, as she heard a key jangle in the door.

“Mum?”

“Abby, darling, I told you. Your mother has gone on a little trip. She will be back soon.” Genevieve’s lilting voice held no admonishment, only reminder.

“We’re in here,” Buttercup called through a laugh, head buried in Jake’s chest.

“Mum?” She could hear Abby coming closer. “Did you miss your flight? Where were you go—DAD!” Not willing to let go of his Buttercup, Jake extended an arm and wrapped Abby up into their embrace. “What are you doing here? Where’s Charlie? What’s going on? Mum, why are you crying?”

Buttercup gently soothed her through her tears, a bright smile on her face. “Shh, babe. It’s alright. I was going to go back to Texas to talk things through with your father, but he beat me here. And…” She smiled brightly at Jake. “I think we came to a solution that will make everyone happy.”

“Oh, that is wonderful news!” Genevieve cooed from her place in the doorway.

Jake turned to smile at her and stilled. “Buttercup?”

“Yeah?”

“Why is a French supermodel standing in your living room?”

The three ladies laughed at Jake’s astonished face. “You must be Jake Seresin. I have heard so much about you from Robert.” Genevieve extended one perfectly manicured hand out and he shook it dazedly.

“Robert?”

“Did I hear my name?” Bob’s voice called from the front door. A few steps brought him to the living room, where he wrapped an arm around Genevieve’s shoulders. “Hi sweetheart.” He pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek and Jake’s mouth dropped even further.

“Bonjour, mon amour.”

Jake tilted his head to whisper in Buttercup’s ear. “Your brother is dating a French supermodel?”

Before she could do more than giggle, Buttercup heard her front door open again.

“You know, y’all should really change the locks after someone moves out.” Natasha’s voice boomed through the house. “I know it’s only been like two days but c’mon.”

Buttercup’s head whipped towards Jake. “I thought you said Charlie was with Nat and Javy?”

He grinned, so cocky and self-assured. “I did. I just never said where Charlie, Nat and Javy were.” He pressed a small kiss to her cheek. “You didn’t think that I would fly across an ocean to visit my wife and leave our daughter home alone, did you?”

Buttercup flushed because, well, that’s exactly what she had been planning to do.

“We’re in here!” Abby shouted, practically vibrating with excitement.

Charlie bounded around the corner and, without hesitation, launched herself at her mother. “I’m sorry!” she cried. “I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye!”

Gasping for breath, Buttercup wrapped her arms around her daughter and squeezed. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m the one who is so sorry. I shouldn’t have left. I was scared.”

Charlie nuzzled into her mother’s chest. “Scared?”

“Yeah, honey.” Buttercup reached out an arm and pulled Abby close too. “But I’m not anymore. Your dad and I talked, and he helped me realize that I can’t let my fears rule my life. It’s not fair to anyone.”

“And what does that mean?” Bob asked, one hand resting on Genevieve’s back. He reached over to hug Natasha close as she came further into the house, Javy in tow.

“Yeah, I’d like to know that myself.” Nat cocked an eyebrow at her.

“It means…” She smiled over at Jake, who couldn’t help himself. He pressed a slow, sweet kiss to her lips, feeling everything in his life click into place, like the puzzle that was his life was finally complete. “It means that we’re going home. We have a lot of work to do, and it might not be perfect, but it’s worth it. We are worth it.”

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[da-rulah]

request: how the papas would react to reader crying during or after sex? Also I love the way you write! 🖤🖤

I've had two people ask for this now, so let's get down to business... Each scenario is different, crying for different reasons, some during some after. Some are sad, some are horny af, so be warned. I may have flown too close to the sun with this one... TW/ Orgasm denial & over stimulation, some BDSM with paddle spanking, FWB to lovers, sadness, angst and obviously…. Crying during sex. 18+ MINORS DNI!

Primo

With his age, comes an understanding of the human body that you can only get with experience.

This is why with so much care and attention, Primo has you on the edge of climax so quickly, denying you and end and then bringing you right back to the edge.

He's not cruel about it though, he's very sweet, nurturing almost.

"You're doing so well, toppolino..."

He asks you to count how many times he’s ruined your orgasm… it nearly kills you.

"I know you can handle it, fiorellina. What number is it now?"

When he finally lets you tip over that precipice, your entire body shakes and convulses under him. It rips through you like dropping a match to gasoline.

You're whimpering for him as you come back down, and without knowing, the tears have started. They're soaking your cheeks, dripping to the pillow beneath your head.

Primo looks shocked, and quickly his aged fingers are wiping at your cheeks.

"Mi dispiace, my darling... are you alright? Did I go to far?"

He hadn't, not at all. But your words failed you, and all you could do was sob into a kiss you initiated, cupping his cheeks to reassure him.

Secondo

He thought tonight was the night to introduce his newest paddle to you. You happily accepted his request, the shiny black leather looking mighty intriguing...

He rolled a pair of dice, calculating a random number. 11, is what they landed on...

11 spanks with his paddle. Each one felt harder than the last, testing your limits.

By spank no. 7, your eyes were tearing up. Still, you refused to use your safe word.

By spank no. 9, the tears were flowing freely.

You managed all 11 without your safe word, but when Secondo saw the streaks of tears down your face, his hardened dom exterior crumbled just a little. He'd made you cry once before, and that had been a safe word occasion. So he was panicked...

"Dolcezza, are you alright? Too much?"

He rocked you in his arms, careful not to touch your bruising behind.

"I'm okay, Papa... I'm okay..."

He kissed away the tears, mumbling praises to you.

"Need you, Papa... Still need you, please..."

He never could resist your begging.

Terzo

Your relationship with Terzo was strictly sexual. You knew that. You agreed to that.

But boy, did it hurt...

You wanted him emotionally, needed a closeness you were resigned to never get. But you continued your relationship despite this, grateful for what you could get. Grateful you could pretend...

With your ankles by your head, Terzo railed into you, rolling his hips with an expertise he had from your countless nights together. He knew was you liked.

"My sweet sorella, so good for me, no?"

You bit your lip, struggling with his wording choice. His. You wished...

As the thoughts invaded your mind, your need for release beckoned and yet, you couldn't reach it...

Terzo climaxed before you, roared expletives and pressing his forehead to yours, eyes shut as he caught his breath.

When he heard the first sob, his eyes shot open.

"Sorella, what...? What's the matter? Did I hurt you?"

You could only shake your head, but he had hurt you. Just not physically, and not with intention.

He searched your face for answers, trying desperately to hold eye contact with you that you kept avoiding.

"Per favore, look at me..." he spoke so softly, you could hardly ignore. "What is it?"

You poured your heart out to him, you couldn't hide it anymore. Any longer, and this relationship would break you...

Terzo sighed, rolling to lay next to you and pulling you to his bare chest.

"I adore you, tesoro... I fear we are both idioti," he chuckled, running his hand over his face, smearing his already smudged paints more.

He asked you to stay with him that night. You never slept in your own bed again.

Copia

It was such a stupid fight, one that you feared you couldn’t come back from.

You’d thrown his schedule in his face, told him it wasn’t fair that he didn’t give you any time at all now he was Papa…

When you came home, you had ignored him, making dinner and still leaving him a plate, but eating in a separate room without so much as a glance his way.

“You think I don’t give you enough attention, toppolino?” “I feel like I’m losing you, Copia… I’m so scared…”

His eyes flickered with rage when you’d begun to cry. Not at you - at himself. He’s made you feel this way?

Copia strode towards you and enveloped you in a kiss that would have made Lucifer blush.

He went into panic mode, overprotective mode. He had to show you right then and there how much he wanted to be with you, would never even dream of leaving you behind.

“You’re mine, I’m not going anywhere…”

His thrusts are wild and erratic yet somehow calculated just enough to hit the nerve endings inside you that mattered most.

You could see the desperation in his face as he fucked you, needing you to see how much he adores you and how he would bring the fires of hell up to the surface if you only asked him to…

He angrily shoved away the tears that escaped his own eyes, feeling pathetic for crying when it was you who was hurt.

“I’M. STAYING. RIGHT. HERE.” Each word punctuated with sharp, hard and frantic thrusts into you.

When you cum together, he collapses onto you. Both of you are in tears.

“I-I swear it, cara mio… I don’t want to lose you, I will do better…” he sobs into your neck

“I’m here, Copia. I’m so sorry… I’m right here.”

[natalievoncatte]

The world was moving a little slowly. That is, every time Lena moved her head, it took a few moments for the world to catch up with her, reality lazily seeping back to its correct position. Worse, every time she turned her neck, she could hear something in there slipping against something else, like two pencil erasers rubbing together.

This indicated that Lena was very drunk, and her reaction was to have another drink. She waved to the bartender, who caught her eye with a stern shake of her head.

She’d ditched Kara, Alex and the others earlier that night. She was tired of friends. Found family was exhausting. She just wanted to drink and wallow in her own misery, free to get so drunk that she’d have to hold onto the world without falling off, without the nerve-fraying risk of blurting out something big to the wrong person, like Kara. Especially Kara.

Because she had a stupid straight girl crush on Kara. Lena was such a stereotype.

“Gimme another shot of whiskey,” Lena demanded.

“No, lady. You’re cut off. The only thing I’m getting you is a cab ride home.”

“Eh, shcrew you and shcrew your cab,” Lena slurred. “I’d rather walk.”

Before he could protest, Lena slipped off her stool, somehow managing to not faceplant on the floor in the process, and started wobbling towards the exit. She was very drunk, she realized. The tilting gave it away, and the way everything was sort of funny, especially the patrons staring at her in mild alarm.

In her inebriation, it took her a moment to realize that the bar had fallen silent, except for the faint music from the overhead speakers. The only other sound, besides Lena’s ragged breath, was the thump of boot heels on the floor.

Lena, who had been staring at the floor to better avoid it, looked up.

“Supergirl?” said Lena.

Supergirl said nothing. Instead, with a weary, sad look in her eyes, gathered Lena up in her arms, scooping her right off her feet. Before Lena knew it, she was outside on a crisp November night.

“Hush now,” a familiar voice said. “Close your eyes. I’m taking you somewhere safe.”

Lena did as she was told, but said, “did Kara send you?”

The wall of muscle that held her tensed, and Supergirl swallowed. “Yes, she did. She’s very worried about you and was concerned that you skipped the girl’s night, so she asked me to keep an eye out for you while I was on patrol.”

“She’s so sweet,” Lena whimpered, and it turned into a sob.

“Miss Luthor?”

“Why do all the good ones have to be straight, huh?”

“Miss Luthor, I-“

“She’s so perfect. She’s an angel. She’s always there for me and she takes good care of me and she always makes sure I eat and stuff,” Lena sniffed, “and she’s so pretty. How can someone be that pretty?”

Supergirl tensed again. “Hush, now. It’s okay. I’m taking you somewhere safe.”

“I just wish I could tell her how I feel,” said Lena. “I know she wouldn’t like me back, but it just hurts so much to keep it in.”

“Then why don’t you tell her?”

“I don’t want to lose her,” said Lena. “I’d rather have her in my life and nurse my stupid crush than lose her altogether.”

“We’re here,” said Supergirl. “I’m going to put you in the bed, okay?”

“Okay,” Lena said, yawning. “I’m tired.”

“I know,” said Supergirl. “Here. Let me help you a little.”

With the hero’s help, Lena shrugged out of her jacket and kicked off her boots. She started to undo her blouse, but a firm hand stopped her, instead shoving a t-shirt and a pair of lounge pants into her hands.

In a confused blurr, Lena changed. Supergirl returned, pulling the blankets back and gently guiding Lena into the bed, every touch tender and soft, until Lena lay comfortably on her side with her head nicely propped on the pillows and a glass of water by her bedside.

Supergirl reached over and clicked off the light.

“Sleep, Lena. I’ll watch over you. I’ll always protect you.”

“Okay,” Lena murmured. “You won’t tell, will you?”

“No. It’s not my secret to share.”

“Good. I love her so much. I think I’ve been in love with her since the first time I saw her.”

Lena tensed as Supergirl’s breath caught. Lena could swear she was wiping at her eyes, even though her vision was blurred by booze and tears and the room was dark.

“You never know,” said Supergirl. “She might feel the same way. You’re pretty special.”

“Nah, she’s straight as an arrow,” Lena slurred out.

“Maybe she thinks the same thing about you.”

Lena laughed. “Me? Ha! That’s hilarious. Goodnight, Supergirl. Try not to fly too hard.”

Giggling at her own cleverness, Lena felt her eyes closed as she drifted to sleep…

…only to slam awake again with a lancing pain through her skull. The world was too bright, and it was too early, no matter what time it actually was. Lena slowly sat up, feeling every movement in her brain, and looked around.

It shouldn’t have been so bright in here, if for no other reason than Lena had blackout curtains. Very expensive ones, too. Except they weren’t there.

Because this wasn’t her apartment, or her bed. This was Kara’s place. How… had Supergirl brought her here? Why?

“Kara?” Lena said, meekly, as she ducked out into the loft.

She was stunned to see Supergirl sitting at Kara’s kitchen table, and further shocked to see Supergirl in civilian clothes. A pair of pajamas, as a matter of fact. Her golden curls spilled down over her broad back, and Lena’s eyes naturally followed the cascade down to the shapely form of Supergirl’s waist, then back up to her broad shoulders.

Supergirl, Lena realize, was wearing Kara’s pajamas. Pajamas that Lena had given her, powder blue flannel with little Chinese takeout boxes printed on them.

Supergirl stood up and turned around, and Lena twitched? Startled. As soon as she saw the glasses she realized that she’d mistaken Kara for Supergirl from behind.

They were both blondes, had similar builds, and they both…

I’ll always protect you.

Kara stopped in front of her without a word, expression both anxious and eager, as Kara fidgeted with her fingers, waiting.

Lena’s hands shook as they rose from her sides, and the hangover had nothing to do with it. Very gently, she grasped the frames of Kara’s glasses and slid them free, and stared into her eyes.

Kara took a single step forward, into Lena’s space- it was not an intrusion but am invitation.

“You should tell her how you feel,” she whispered. “She might feel the same way.”

“Oh God,” Lena whispered. “This is so embarrassing, I’m so sorry Kara, I should go, I’m so…”

Kara leaned in, lightly resting her palms on Lena’s hips, steadying her rather than trapping her. Lena continued to sputter until she felt the tilt of Kara’s head and the soft pressure of her nose and then the brush of soft lips on hers.

Lena had first kisses aplenty; she was no blushing ingenue. She’d long decided that the whole romantic notion of the first kiss was childish and silly, and there was nothing magical about it at all. Then Kara was kissing her, and all of it turned out to be exactly right. Kara kissed her so deeply, so perfectly, that she deduced that none of those other ones counted and this was her real first kiss. Or perhaps her last first kiss.

It was over too fast, leaving her lips tingling with desire and her breath short, her heart hammering in her chest.

“Is this okay?” Kara murmured, pulling back just enough to separate their lips.

“Uh huh. We better try it a few more times to see if I like it.”

[narcissarina]

Distanceજ⁀➴

𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚟𝚒𝚎 𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚗. 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚝 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚗𝚍.

“Leon?” chat sent.

No messages, it was just delivered. Maybe he's busy.

—Chat sent a minute ago—

“Hey, love. It's me again, I wrote you a letter today and I plan on piling them up so when we finally closed the distance, I could give them to you!” chat sent.

Still no replies, your messages were on delivered but you are positive that he's in a mission. He did tell you beforehand, yet you insist on spamming his dm because it gives you comfort.

Looking back, still no reply. A mission does take a week or a month to finish but you couldn't help but worry and feel a little insecure without his assurance.

You were going to send him another message, “Hey Leon...” your finger froze and continue, “I miss you already, text me back okay?”

Chat sent

—Chat sent an hour ago—

Going hom to an empty house, to an empty phone and empty inbox—no response. It made you overthink, insecure and feel a painful ache in your chest, but writing your feelings down and saying your day to his dm does help, right?

“It's me again, everything just hurts, my love:(” chat sent

“Hey baby! I wrote 5 pages of letter for you, will pack a box for the things I write for you♡”

“Had a rough day from work, wish you were here nor we could call. I miss you so fucking much...”

“I wanna recall many memories with you, Leon. And yet, I couldn't recall the last time we kissed:(”

“baby, are you still there?”

“I miss you, sorry if I'm annoying.”

—Chats were sent 3 days ago—

Coming home from work as usual, leaving you extra tired, depressed and sad. Eyes were puffy from all the crying last night, still no messages from him. Must be hard for two souls bound to be in love with a distance between them.

“Baby, my heart aches, but I want you to know that I'm still longing for you, please be safe.” chat sent

You lump down on your bed, hot liquids starts to form at the back of your eyes as you cry out again. It was a tiring long day and Leon would be the first one hearing your whines and complains you tell about.

But you can't.

And you fell asleep, face down to your pillow and the plush (that looks like him) that he got for you on your side, as you suddenly awoke from your sleep. Phone vibrating as you choke a sob out, throat dry and eyes puffy.

You check your notifications, it was Leon.

Holding back your cries as you read his messages.

“Hey, princess. Sorry for responding so late. I appreciate you spamming my inbox, it made my day to see you speak about your day:)”

“don't worry about it, sweetheart. I'm here now, now what kind of stories will you be sharing hm?”

“I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you okay? I miss you too, baby. So fucking much that I'll lose my mind”

“my baby's very pretty and mine only, don't want your pretty little head be filled with those thoughts. I'm here and you can talk it out with me, what your feeling right now is completely valid:) I love you.”

“You're not annoying. I love you.”

Crying to his messages, no matter how late he is—you are glad that he is well and still the same man you fallen in love with, you read his text as he constantly assures you and replies to every messages you sent to him. Small things matter.

One message did caught you off guard, it was just sent two seconds ago: “open your door, baby. I'm here.”

You didn't believe that, he must be tired from being an agent but you try to humor him and went to your door—although you do feel a bit nervous, when was the last time you two saw each other? Six years ago, that's for sure.

Your door slowly creaks as you open it, eyes wide open and tears spilled out from your eyes as he was standing before you—bouquet of flowers in hand with your favorite chocolate and a big teddy bear beside him, “suprise, happy anniversary.” he spoke in a tired tone and lean down to kiss you and give you his gifts.

You cried, being a sobbing mess you were already are—you place his gifts nearby and jump into his arms, feeling his warmth and skin to yours.

He got inside your apartment, it was a mess and Leon lie down in your bed and you on top of him, refusing to let go. “My baby koala.” He chuckles and kisses your temple, you kept muttering your i love yous to him and spilling tears to his shirt.

“You can stop crying now.” he mutter, sitting up with you in his hand as he felt you clench your hands to his shirt—refusing to let go, you shake your head in response as you stick yourself like a glue to him.

He chuckles and let you have your way, staying like that for a few hours as he finally spoke, “I have a proposal.” he pauses, watching you twitch as your reaction, you hum to him and nuzzle closer.

“Let's live together from now on.”

[sahrii]

forever, rewritten! oikawa tooru 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ in which! it was time for oikawa to leave to argentina, even though he promised to stay by your side forever

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ warnings! angst with a light comfort, lots of crying, mention of broken promises?

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ a/n! i kid u not i almost cried writing this, i was pouting the whole time tbh 😭😭 enjoy tho!

“you promised,” your voice cracked. “you promised you’d stay with me.”

“i did,” he whispered, his hand cupping your cheek as his eyes stared at yours, screaming at you to understand, to not hate him. “and i meant it, y/n. but this—this has been the reason i started playing volleyball, i can’t let this opportunity pass, please unde—”

“no, don’t ask me to understand, tooru,” you cut him off, breath shaky and sad. “how am i supposed to just let you go like that?”

the pad of his thumb was soft as it attempted to wipe your tears. “then don’t let me go,” he breathed, voice trembling. it was clear as light that he was just as upset as you. “all i’m asking is for you to trust that i’m gonna come back.”

“haji, i told you i’m not gonna see him off. leave me alone now,” you mumbled into your tear-soaked pillow as your fingers tightly grasped the soft fabric. an attempt to distract you from crying for the 5th time today.

iwaizumi sighed heavily from the doorway of your room, his back leaning against it. his arms were crossed over his chest as a frown decorated his face. “you’re still hung up on this? are you gonna let your boyfriend of i don’t know, 8 years? leave the country and not wish him a goodbye?”

your heart clenched, really. it wasn’t easy, to let him leave. to not see his face at least 3 times a day. to not kiss his beautiful lips for perhaps what could be the last time.

“i’m not going, full stop,” you snapped, your voice breaking. “he lied to me, telling me he will stay by my side forever, but look at him now, leaving happily. i hope argentina treats him better than i do.”

the frown on iwaizumi’s face grew bigger. he hated seeing you like that, and he cursed oikawa for doing that to you. for staining your flushed cheeks with tears. he sighed as he approached your bed, sitting on its edge. “that’s not fair, and you know it, y/n. he’s chasing his dreams, and you’ve always supported him no matter what. what’s different this time?”

“he’s leaving me behind this time,” you whispered as the tears began pooling at your chin.

at the whisper of your voice, iwaizumi’s face softened. “he’s not leaving you behind, y/n. i’ve been friends with shittykawa since forever and i can tell you—as much as it’s disgusting, he loves you way too much to just leave you. so get up and go before you end up regretting this.”

but you stayed silent, throat closing up. a sigh from iwaizumi danced into your ears and the sound of his footsteps left the room cold and quiet. he was right, but maybe, just maybe, it was easier to blame oikawa and stay behind, because saying goodbye is hard.

terminal 3.

your eyes were breathlessly searching for a sign that says terminal 3, desperately hoping he didn’t leave. because you’ll never forgive yourself if he did.

stupid. stupid is what you are for even thinking about the idea that you can just let him leave like that.

your legs clumsily rushed towards the terminal, eyes darting around to search for his chocolate hair, or his tall figure, or—

“y/n?”

without a second thought, your body was now against his, arms thrown around his neck. he caught you instantly, head resting on your shoulder now.

“i’m sorry,” the whisper of your voice made its way into his ears, and his arms instantly tightened around you. “i’m sorry, i—i should’ve been here earlier. but saying goodbye is too hard, tooru. i don’t want you to leave,” you sob. you sob and cry and you want to scream, you want to scream so loudly, but you refrain from doing that.

“i know,” he murmured with a shaky voice. “i’m sorry too. i broke my promise. i never wanted to hurt you, y/n.”

you pulled back reluctantly, wanting to look at his brown eyes. earthy and warm with a mixture of rain. his eyes were glossy. your hand cupped his cheeks as your eyes continued to drown in his.

“i’m proud of you,” you said, voice trembling. “i am so proud of you, and i will always support you. i just—I just don’t wanna lose you,” your voice cracked.

“you won’t,” he promised. once again, his thumb brushed away the tears you didn’t realize were falling once again. “you’re always gonna be with me, no matter where i go or what i’m doing.”

the moment you never wanted to end was disrupted by the final boarding call that echoed through the terminal and suddenly, you wished that you were deaf.

“tooru—” you started, voice barely audible over the noise.

“i’ll call you every day. text you every hour if i can. i’m never leaving you behind,” he said firmly, his voice steady despite the glimmer of unshed tears in his eyes.

you nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat even though it felt impossible. “you’d better keep that promise, oikawa tooru.”

his lips quirked into a faint smile, the kind that was so quintessentially him. “i will. and if i don’t, feel free to send iwaizumi to beat some sense into me.”

the corners of your lips lifted for a fleeting second before his hands cupped your face, pulling you into a kiss. it wasn’t hurried or desperate—it was soft, tender, and filled with every unsaid word and promise between you. his lips lingered just long enough for you to feel the truth of them, the love and conviction he couldn’t put into words.

when he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours for a brief, trembling moment. “i love you,” he whispered.

“i love you too,” you murmured, wiping your cheeks as the tears flowed freely.

with one last glance, he stepped back, his fingers slipping from yours as he turned toward the boarding gate. his steps were purposeful, his back straight, but you could see his hand twitching by his side, as though resisting the urge to turn around.

you stayed rooted in place, watching until his figure disappeared into the crowd, your chest heavy and aching.

and yet, despite the weight of it all, you stood a little taller.

because this wasn’t the end—it was just the beginning of another promise.

[shaybreezy-17]

More Than Friends (Zoro x Reader)

some more short lil one shot action of the worlds sexiest greatest swordsman 😉😋. enjoy! <3

(*TW: explicit/sexual language/content*)

It had been almost a month since the day you confessed your feelings to Zoro. Things went downhill between the two of you after that…

Since then, he had completely shut you out of his life, avoiding you any chance he got. He couldn’t even stand to be in the same room with you, besides during meals, and sometimes not even then.

You casually walked around the Sunny before deciding that Zoro was probably in the Crows Nest.

As you made your way up the ropes and the ladder, you felt your heartbeat speed up.

You slowly crept behind him, hoping you wouldn’t have to face him just yet.

He had his back turned to you, drenched in sweat, lifting a loaded barbell.

You mustered up the courage to speak once he put the barbell down, “H-hey, Zo?”

He flinched at the sound of your voice. “I was just finishing my workout. Gonna head out now.” He began to put the workout equipment away, never looking in your direction.

You felt tears welling up in your eyes, but you fought hard to hold them back, biting your lip so hard you began to taste blood. Not again…

“Oh, okay.” You paused, “I was just, uh, hoping that we could talk about what I told you a couple wee-“

He cut you off, wiping the sweat off his forehead. “We don’t, there’s no need.”

You stood there. There really was no getting through to him…

You felt a lump form in your throat but you mustered up the courage to retaliate a sour response. “Alright well, I just thought I should let you know that I no longer like you so you don’t need to worry about that anymore.”

Without even uttering a reply, he walked right past you towards the exit. Tears began to fall down your face the minute your face was out of his sight, but you remained silent so he wouldn’t hear you cry.

He disappeared down the hatch, presumably down the ladder. Without turning around, or moving a muscle, you let yourself go.

You began to sob violently as no one would hear your pain and suffering up here in the Crows Nest anyway.

An array of things went through your mind. You felt so ridiculous for exaggerating like this, but it was how you felt. Weeks of bottling up the sadness of not being by Zoros side like you were as friends forced this reaction out of you and you couldn’t help it…

You wished you’d never tried to be more than that, just friends.

You buried your face in your hands, praying the visual of pure darkness would silence your thoughts.

As you tried to catch your breath, you felt a pair of calloused hands touch your bare shoulders. You were too afraid to turn around, shutting your eyes in fear. You felt so embarrassed that someone might’ve heard your little breakdown a moment ago…

A pair of muscular arms wrapped around your body, as you were being enveloped in a hug from behind.

“Do you really like me that much?” A voice spoke huskily. Not just any voice. You recognized it anywhere- Zoros.

You felt butterflies explode in your stomach for a moment before you remembered he’d been ignoring you for almost a month…

Wiggling out of his grasp, you turned around and shoved him with all your might. He didn’t move a muscle…

“What was that for?” He clutched his chest, pretending to be wounded. “Where’s this hostility coming from?”

You shoved him again. “You’re a real asshole, you know that?” And again. “Since you didn’t seem to hear me the first time, I said I don’t fucking like you anymore. Not after you pushed me away all month.”

He grabbed your wrists. “Oh come on! It was like two weeks.”

“Three to be exact!” You retorted, clear frustration in your tone.

“I was gonna say “who’s counting?” but clearly you were, stalker.” He smirked, still grasping your wrists.

You shook your arms, trying to break free, to no avail. “I’m not even stalking you, idiot! Now let me go, you’re hurting me.”

The smirk disappeared off his face and he immediately let you loose. He began to rub your wrists, muttering a quick “sorry”.

“Just leave me alone, okay?” You spoke softly, indicating your newfound defeat. “I didn’t need you to come back here out of pity when you heard me crying.”

His eyes met yours, a pained expression on his face. “Y/N… I’m just not good with this sort of stuff, feelings or whatever, but I didn’t come out of pity. I came back because I care, stupid.”

“Neither am I, Zo.” You replied, cupping his cheek. “I guess I just wanted to get better at it with you but you didn’t even give me a chance, dork.”

“Look, even if I did feel the same way about you and wanted to give this a shot, I’m lost…” His cheeks turned a light shade of pink at your touch and a sense of desperation filled his tone. “Tell me what I need to do, Y/N.”

The neediness in his voice was enough to push you over the edge. “For now just kiss me, you idiot.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck and his arms instinctively found your waist, pulling you in for his lips to meet yours. He kissed you aggressively, showing your tongue no mercy. You didn’t know he could express this much passion for something other than sword fighting, unless the one going on in your mouth still counted.

Oblivious to you, Zoro had been actively avoiding you because when you admitted your feelings for him, you sparked something within him for you he didn’t know was there.

When you told him you liked him, he pondered on how much time the two of you had been spending lately. He couldn’t help but realize that he was happy whenever you were around whether it was the two of you sharing a drink or two, or the surge of confidence your presence gave him whenever you watched him workout because he couldn’t bare to let you watch him fail a set.

You broke the kiss, gasping for air. It had made you both absolutely feral. Staring into each others eyes, he picked you up and backed you up against the wall, letting you wrap your legs around his torso for extra support.

“You can call me a stalker again, but I might’ve dreamed of this moment once or twice…” You chuckled.

He grinned, thinking about how he dreamt and fantasized about you an ungodly amount of times throughout these three weeks. “Yeah, well, you were in a few of my nightmares. Tried to kill me every single time.”

“Oh shut up, dick.” You rolled your eyes playfully. “I knew you liked me the minute you let me get you in the bath.”

“I-Eh?” He glared at you in genuine confusion, “What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“You despise baths but you’d take one with me whenever I asked,” You smirked and leaned in inches away from his face, “That’s when I knew I had ya.”

He leaned in even closer. Your lips were practically touching and the anticipation was sending waves of adrenaline through your body.

His gaze deepened, “Yeah? Well I knew I had you a moment ago, when you were sobbing over me.”

“Nothing you say can knock me off my high horse when I’m giving you a raging boner right now.” You sassed back.

His face went from pink to red as a tomato. “H-how the hell? I’m literally carrying you around my waist, there’s no way you felt that!”

“That kiss we just had.” You giggled, finally having the courage you needed to catch him off guard, “That and- just thought you’d wanna fuck me as bad as I want you to right now."

Without hesitation, he licked his lips as he began to fumble with his waistband, holding you up with his other hand.

“Wha-What are you doing?” You stuttered nervously, looking down at the hard penis that sprung out of his pants. “We really doing this?!”

Your stomach turned in knots at the nervousness, but you felt your pussy getting wet at the sight of it, nonetheless.

“You know me, I never miss out on a good challenge.” He began to lift up your dress, letting his arousal towards you overcome him, “Oi, got any panties under there?”

You shook your head ‘no’, silently thanking your past self for being delusional enough to ditch the undergarments on the off-chance that Zoro came to terms with his undying love for you and decided to fuck your brains out… which was actually about to happen now…

“Good.” He flashed you one last devilish grin as he aligned his thick cock directly below your already soaking pussy, slowly lowering you on to him, “They would’ve just got in my damn way.”

[drafthorsemath]

Brotherly Love

Synopsis: Crosshair can't sleep and Tech appears to him as a force ghost. Lots of comfort.

A/N: I need some kind of conclusion for my brain. Whether you accept the finale and that Tech is dead, I think I need to get this out of my system to grieve.

Word Count: 846

It was nearly pitchblack in the bedroom, save for a sliver of a moonbeam shining through the window. Pabu was quiet this time of night and usually Crosshair found comfort in that. Tonight though, he was struck by sadness. He thought of Tech and the nights they'd spend together as cadets. Crosshair's eyes would hurt from the bright lights on Kamino after long days of training. Tech would turn off the lights, get into bed with him, and read to him. Crosshair smiled as he thought about all the different things Tech read. History, science, even the occasional holonovel. He would always find comfort laying next to his brother and hearing his voice. He wished he could hear him again now.

Crosshair sat up in bed and sighed as he looked out the window. He could swear he felt Tech's hand on his shoulder; steady and comforting as it always was. He sniffled and leaned into the sensation, only to realize that it wasn't just a figment of his imagination.

"Tech?!" Crosshair jumped up and turned to see a kind of blue light around what he could have swore was his brother. "What the kriff?!"

"Yes," Tech replied, examining his glowing limbs with curiosity. "I could ask the same thing."

Crosshair reached out to try to touch him. He felt a presence and yet could see through him.

"Is it really you?" Crosshair asked.

"Of course it's really me," Tech replied with an eye roll.

"How are you doing this?" Crosshair asked.

"I am unsure," came the honest answer. "However, matter is never created nor destroyed. It simply changes form. For whatever reason, this is the form I am currently taking."

Crosshair sat back down and without warning, sharply inhaled and let out a sob. Tech put his hand back on his brother's shoulder.

"I've missed you," Crosshair said, trying to compose himself.

"I'm still here," Tech said. "I've always thought of you before I fell and I've been with you since. I cannot fully explain the latter part."

"This is the first time I've seen you like this, though," Crosshair noted.

Tech nodded. They sat in silence for several minutes. Crosshair somehow understood now. All those times he felt like Tech was with him and he tried to suppress the feeling for fear it wasn't true when in reality, his brother had never left him.

"Tech?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry," Crosshair looked into his brother's familiar eyes and couldn't help but let a tear slip despite his best efforts. "I'm sorry I didn't leave the Empire sooner. I missed out on time with you. I should have done better."

Tech shook his head and pulled Crosshair into a hug.

"I am just glad you came home," Tech said. Both men felt relief. Relief that there were no hard feelings between them and that they cared for each other as they always had.

After awhile longer, Tech asked, "Shouldn't you be getting some rest?"

"I don't want to wake up and find you're not here."

"I'll still be here, Crosshair. Even if you can't see me and I promise I'll do my best to show up so you can. There has to be some interesting science behind this and now I have an infinite amount of time to try to figure it out."

Crosshair chuckled. That was so like him. Then, even though Tech had changed form, Crosshair could sense his brother had a question as easily as if they'd both been there in the flesh.

"What is it?" Crosshair asked.

"Are you going to get a prosthetic for your hand?"

"I'm not sure yet. I still have my left hand and Echo's given me some tips on getting by."

"If you do get a prosthesis I would be happy to help you optimize its utility."

"Can you even hold a spanner?" Crosshair asked dryly.

"I'm sitting on your bed and just gave you a hug. If I can do that, I do not see why I cannot use tools to fix something."

"Fair point," Crosshair replied with a grin. "I'll let you know."

Without a word, Crosshair and Tech both laid down as they had done when they were cadets. Instead of reading, they talked about their brothers and Omega. How much time it took them to truly relax on Pabu after the intensity of all that had happened. How Omega was growing, having something of a childhood, and how her piloting skills were improving all the time. They were both filled with pride in her.

It took awhile, but Crosshair finally let himself sleep, still feeling his brother right next to him. When he woke up in the morning, he startled a bit. He couldn't see Tech anymore. His eyes searched his room, but Tech was no where to be found. Had it been a dream? Was his brain taunting him? Just as he wanted to curse these mind games, he felt Tech's hand on his shoulder again and took a deep breath. Tech was still there. Crosshair would never have to be alone again.

[yellowrabbitfurry]

Waow I actually wrote something again?? Yippee!!

@ancha-aus this isn’t the one I’m writing for your little Nightmare AU, but I figured you’d like to know my character’s backstory ^^ (please tell me I’m not weird 😅)

no beta we die like the human souls

Meetings 

Soft sniffles rang out through the darkness, another night of sadness and hurt. 

Nightmare clutched his book as he sobbed quietly, clinging to his only source of comfort.

Dream had been convinced to stay at the village again, leaving poor Nightmare all alone once more.

Not that he held it against him; it was probably much more comfortable down there. Sometimes he wished he could go too.. but even if he was welcome down there, he couldn’t leave the tree. 

He couldn’t leave his mother unguarded.

But it was so cold, and everything hurt so much. He just wanted it to stop; for the pain to go away.

Why wouldn’t the pain go away?

He didn’t know how long he sat there crying; he didn’t exactly have a way to measure time. Not like it mattered.. he was always there.

But eventually, and without warning, he was brought out of his tears. 

There was a little cough, causing him to flinch and look up. 

There was a person- a rabbit. He hadn’t expected it, not so late in the night. 

He sobbed and drew back, frightened by the new arrival. 

The bunny seemed to be a bit older than him; maybe younger than his usual bullies, but Nightmare was still scared.

He was holding something too. Night couldn’t see it well in the dark, but it was easy for him to assume it wasn’t good.

The small rabbit just stared at him blankly, seemingly uncaring about his pained sobs. He stood there like that for a moment, before tilting his head slightly as he finally spoke,

“My mom said to give this to you..”

He paused, and when he wasn’t given an answer, he came closer. 

He put the object on the ground, which Nightmare noticed (now that it was closer) had a rather pleasant smell. 

The bunny knelt down before the shaking skeleton, a look of slight curiosity in his big blue eyes. Not pity, and he didn’t seem to feel bad. He was just.. curious.

The young rabbit attempted once more, getting a bit closer to Nightmare as he spoke in his quiet little voice. 

“Why are you crying..?” He asked, his voice almost monotone and unfeeling.

But when Nightmare, still hurt and scared, only flinched and pulled away from him? 

That’s when he started to understand. 

This wasn’t an “I need to cry” like his sister often had- something was wrong. 

His ears perked a bit as he became more alert, reaching his little paws hesitantly towards the crying skeleton as he made an attempt to console him.

“Hey.. what’s wrong..? What happened..?” His voice was much softer, a bit more sweet. A learned behavior; it was just how his mother did it.

He didn’t touch, having observed how Nightmare flinched when he got close. Just offered his hands.

“Are you hurt..?” He questioned, his big blue eyes watching for any change in behavior.

Nightmare looked up at him from the little ball he had curled into, frightened and confused at how the bunny was acting. The only person who acted like this towards him was his brother.. what was happening..?

He un-tensed slightly, giving a small nod as he stared at the rabbit. He was watching for any sudden movements.

However, when the bunny only tilted his head and watched him back, he uncurled.

His body was still tense, his book held in front of his chest like a shield. 

However, the bunny took it as a sign of trust, and reached his hand out a bit further. His face was still blank, but Nightmare could feel his intent wasn’t bad, as odd as that was.

“Can I see..?” he asked softly, his head tilting once more, as if it was his only way of showing emotion.

Nightmare was hesitant, remember how he was hurt just today. There had been a rabbit among his assailants, too..

But this was a genuine offer of help. He wasn’t really the best at healing himself, only able to get the injuries Dream might see. 

He wasn’t used to it at all but.. he needed this.

He gave another timid nod, sheepishly taking the bunny’s hand and putting his book down.

The bunny didn’t give any sign of acknowledgment, but immediately reached forward and pulled up Nightmare’s shirt, revealing his skinny frame.

The small skeleton squeaked out in surprise at the action, not expecting the sudden movement at all.

Though the rabbit didn’t seem to know nor care how odd he was acting.

His eyes were immediately drawn towards the left side of Nightmare’s ribcage, where several of his ribs were cracked and busted. 

Some of the injuries were old and halfway healed; reopened by the recent attack. 

It looked really bad.. Nightmare could even see a bit of anger stirring in the bunny’s eyes. 

The small rabbit reached a paw towards the injury, but stopped as Nightmare flinched back. They looked at each other for a moment, sharing a look of understanding.

Though Nightmare didn’t like it, the bunny had to touch it. 

Even if it hurt a little..

The small skeleton gave a little nod, and the bunny continued his advance.

He placed a gentle paw on the injury, and looked back up at Nightmare before continuing.

He closed his eyes, and Nightmare suddenly felt a warmth spread across his ribcage. 

The skeleton looked down to see a soft green glow fill the cracks, originating from the bunny’s paws. 

The pain slowly faded, along with the wounds, just leaving the marks on the surface. It didn’t seem all the way healed.. but it was much better than before.

The small rabbit pulled his hands away, and opened his eyes to see Nightmare staring right back up at him, big lavender eyes wide wonder and curiosity.

The bunny stared back, unsure how to react to the gaze. Though he knew he shouldn’t stare for too long.. so he spoke once more.

“Do you.. feel better now?” he questioned in a soft voice, though his face still held the same blank, curious look from before.

The little skeleton just stared up at him for a moment or two longer, before silently nodding and reaching his little hands forward and grabbing at the bunny’s jacket and leaning against him in a sort of hug.

“Th- thank you..” he whispered, clinging like he was scared to let go.

The action confused the bunny a little, but he didn’t press. It didn’t really matter, so he didn’t care all that much. 

He gave Nightmare a small kiss on the head, something his mother did as well, and just let him cling as much as he wanted. 

The action surprised the little babybones, as he’d never gotten a forehead kiss before. 

But he didn’t say anything.. it felt kinda nice. 

After a while of staying like that, though, Nightmare pulled away. 

This was just such a curious situation; he didn’t understand it. 

And that thing the bunny brought smelled so *good*- he needed to understand what was happening.

The little skeleton was silent a moment longer, before finally asking the question on his mind.

“Uhm.. what is that..?” he asked, his voice quiet and timid, “the thing you brought..?”

The rabbit tilted his head, confused by the question. 

“It’s a strawberry pie. My mother asked me to bring it to you.” 

Nightmare looked very perplexed by the answer he was given, and even a little upset.

“Why..?” He asked, as if he never expected to be given anything in his life, “why would she do that..?”

The bunny was even more confused by that reaction. Didn’t people love the tree guardian? 

Why was he so confused?

“Why not?” He questioned, before realizing that there was something different, something he hadn’t realized before.

He had only met the little skeleton who guarded the tree once, in town. But he remembered his whole color scheme had been gold and yellow; even his eyes were a brilliant golden-yellow color. 

This little skeleton, however, had lavender eyes. He was a completely different skeleton- were there two guardians?

“Are you not Dream?” He asked, though it was blunt, and really more of an observation than a question. 

Though, blunt or otherwise, the question made Nightmare immediately much more upset.

Of course, this was for Dream. Why would anyone want to give him anything?

He gave a little sob and shook his head, looking like he was going to start crying again. 

But the rabbit continued to surprise him.

“You can still have it.” He said, pushing the pie closer to Nightmare.

He was already here, and he’d technically done what he was told. Why should he go find Dream now?

Nightmare hadn’t expected it- why would he? It was the first time anything like this had happened, of course he was shocked.

He looked down at the delicious smelling pie, definitely on the verge of tears.

Why would the bunny do this? Why would anyone want to do this for him?

He looked back up, trying to read the other boy’s expression. Surly he must have some ulterior motive- he had to.

“Wh- wha..?”

“I already did as I was told,” he explained, talking as if it truly didn’t matter, “I was supposed to bring it to the skeleton who lives under the tree, and that’s you.”

It was true, both Dream *and* Nightmare lived under the tree- even if Dream basically lived in the village half of the time at this point..

“It’d take to much time to try to find Dream, wherever he is,” he continued, “the pie would get cold. So you can have it.”

Nightmare still couldn’t believe what he was hearing.. but the rabbit didn’t sound like he was joking. He didn’t exactly seem capable of such a thing.

It felt far too unreal, but.. well, Nightmare didn’t want to be rude. He thanked the bunny, taking the pie and looking down at it. 

He didn’t feel very hungry at the moment.. he’d eat it later.

He looked away, feeling a little awkward. 

What was he supposed to say? Nothing like this had ever happened before.

He tried to gather his thoughts and maybe mumble a thank you, but he was cut off prematurely by a gust of wind blowing through. 

The cold air bit at his bones through his thin clothes- stars, he hated fall. The only thing he hated more was winter.

Well, that wasn’t true..

He clutched his shirt as he shivered, despising how helpless he felt against the cold. His mind wandered to how warm Dream must be in the village..

But before he could get lost in those negative thoughts again, he felt a coat get draped over his shoulders.

He looked up to see the rabbit giving him his little red-brown jacket, leaving himself in just his dirty overalls.

His eyes widened in confusion, glancing down at the jacket and then back up at the bunny. His golden yellow fur swayed in the wind, though he didn’t seem bothered by the cold.

“Wh- what..?” Nightmare mumbled in question, mostly to himself. But the bunny still heard.

“I have fur,” he said simply, “I don’t need it.”

Nightmare looked at him dumbly, not believing what he was hearing.

He could see the rabbit shivering slightly- it was obvious the fur didn’t keep him completely warm. 

What did he get out of this? Any of this?

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Nightmare confused yet grateful for his strange new company. 

He was about to ask for the bunny’s name, but he was beaten to it.

“So, if the other skeleton’s name is Dream,” he started, sounding curious, “what’s yours?”

Nightmare deflated a little at the question. He used to really like his name.. but the villagers made it seem like something bad, so he was a little embarrassed.

He couldn’t just not answer, though..

“I- it’s Nightmare..” He said softly, glancing away from the rabbit.

The bunny didn’t seem fazed, however. In fact, he almost looked happy.

“I’m Terrence.” He introduced himself, giving the little skeleton a slight smile.

Nightmare couldn’t help but smile back, feeling a little warm. Nobody but Dream usually smiled at him.. did he really, truly have a friend now? 

“Terrence..” he repeated, smiling a little wider, “it’s nice to meet you, Terrence.”

The bunny was quiet for a second, ears perked up, before he spoke once more.

“It’s nice to meet you too.”

End.

[sgojoenthusiast]

nineteen.

✧.* gojo x reader

summary:

gojo coming home to you after nineteen dreadful days without him.

cw: slight angst (if you being very upset counts as angst idk i’m kind of new here lol) & very miniature fluff, new chapter spoilers, daddy’s home

word count: 0.7k

likes, comments and reposts are deeply appreciated! <3 enjoy.

-`♡´-

You couldn’t believe your eyes.

Nineteen days of cooking two meals, only for one to be discarded for the bin. Nineteen days of reaching behind you in bed to find a heartbreaking emptiness and an empty pillow. Nineteen days without hearing the jingle of his keys in the door, the warming, and loud, announcement of his arrival that never failed to make you smile, his soft kisses and delicate touch. Nineteen days of solitude and sorrow.

Somehow, this streak appeared to have been broken. You looked up from your untouched plate of food, an identical one sitting opposite you, at the sound of a knock on the door.

You dragged your feet towards the door unenthusiastically, all hope of it being the one you dreamed it would be, having dwindled gradually after every time you opened the door to a face that didn’t belong to Satoru Gojo. Each time just as much of a knife to the heart as the last.

But there he was. At first, you weren’t sure if the grief of his being gone and all other of the recent events were messing with your mind, but when he spoke, when you touched him, it all felt so real.

“I lost my keys, I’m sorry.” His voice was weak and sad.

All he had thought about was you. How you were doing, if you were in danger, if you were alive and protected as he couldn’t ensure it himself.

You had infested his mind constantly and without failure made him lose his mind with agony at the lack of your gentle fingertips trailing his skin and through his hair.

He pulled you into his arms immediately, having misunderstood the pain of not being in your touch for so, so long.

“You told me you’d be careful.” you sobbed, pulling away and punching him weakly in the chest, though he didn’t flinch, he just stared into your glassy eyes with his own a he caressed your cheek and pulled you back into his embrace as he muttered apologies

“I know baby-“

“No you don’t know Satoru!” all the pain that's been built up over the past two weeks finally being disentangled from your chest, crawling over him as he drowned in your misery. You pulled away from him again, taking a few steps back to take him in as he closed the door behind him and leaned against it.

“I haven’t been able to breathe or think or- I just-" you stuttered, not being able to get the right words out. "I missed you so much it hurt. I didn't know when you’d- I didn’t know if you’d come back and that killed me over and over again. The thought of losing you forever killed me.”

The feeling of him not being with you was so overwhelming. You couldn’t explain the grief you found yourself trapped in these nineteen days. Everything was a reminder of what you didn’t have. The reverberating silence of your shared home, the music you’d listen to together, the meals you’d cook together (mainly you, as he can’t cook to save his life). Everything hits you at once.

He kept his head down as though the site of your pain alone was enough to hurt the strongest.

“If I could take all this pain from you and put it in me, I would, a thousand times over if I had to and I really wish I could because seeing you cry and knowing I caused it I-“ he walked hesitantly up to you and took your face in the palm of his familiarly warm hands.

"I missed you. I missed you so fucking much." he muttered, placing his forehead against yours.

"I love you, Toru. Please don't leave me again, I don't think my heart could take it." you whispered back.

"I promise. Never again."

He had struggled immensely too, but all of his suffering only intensified at the idea of you being in so much despair at losing him, knowing you'd been rotting from the inside without your light to keep you flourishing.

You never once let him go.

When he carried you to the sofa and stood up to grab you some water, you refused, no matter how dry your throat was from all the crying. You couldn’t be apart from him for one second, in case it was all a dream that would end in the morning. And if that was the case, you wouldn’t dare waste a single precious second away from his protective and loving arms.

Everything felt so real, so when you woke up the next morning to the same spot that had been empty for the past nineteen days being occupied by the one you loved, your heart melted as your head nestled into his chest.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

a/n: I MISSED HIM SO MUCH YOU DONT UNDERSTAND

☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟsgojoenthusiast

[cloudykyu]

❆ when you love someone, you will do whatever it takes. even if it hurts.

pairing: tbz sunwoo x gn reader genre: breakup au, non-idol au, angst with fluff, it's bittersweet word count: 2,160 warnings: this fic mentions how mental health can affect one physically and internally! not proofread, this was written in a day so it may not be my best work, nothing else other than it's sad lol

mani's notes: happy holidays if you celebrate!! i'm sorry this is just angsty, i'm battling my own holiday saddies right now and this is what i decided to do. also warming up for more written fics to come in the future

sunwoo’s steps are careful. heel, toe. heel, toe.

normally, the boy would be in a rush to get to you. after nearly a whole year together, the giddy feeling that bubbled in his chest at the thought of embracing you never went away. in fact, overtime, they just escalated. butterflies erupted in a frenzy whenever he pictured your face. a smile would automatically form on his lips when your voice echoed in his head. kim sunwoo is absolutely head over heels for you. and while his feelings for you never changed, today definitely felt a little different. 

he’s cautious as he walks along the sidewalk, taking the route to your house that he’s become so familiar with. the pavement is slightly damp, coldness radiating up the soles of his sneakers. the skies above are a little dark, it’ll probably start snowing soon. sunwoo is deep in thought, though there’s not much to it really. he knows where his feet are leading him. he knows his fate, your fate, once he steps through the threshold of your home. 

like the air around him during the new winter season, you have grown cold over the span of a few months. he doesn’t know how or when, but he can only assume it started that day you came rushing to his home, frantically asking his roommates where he was. 

“where’s my boyfriend?” he remembers hearing, your voice shaky and panicked. as soon as he left his room to find you, he saw your body visibly relax once you two locked eyes. nothing was said, other than a sob of his name as you collapsed into his embrace. that night, all he did was hold you as you cried. he listened to your endless curses spilled to the universe about how unfair life is treating you as he held you tighter and tighter with every tear spilt. eventually, the two of you had fell asleep in each others arms, only for you to slip away in the middle of the night without a word. sunwoo had tried to talk to you about that night, countless of times actually, just for you to brush it off with promises of “i’m fine.” of course the boy didn’t believe you, but there was only so much he could do without pushing you to your limit. 

since then, you had acted as if nothing happened. but it was obvious in the way your eyes no longer held the light that sunwoo adored. it was evident that you were not fine in the way you could barely muster up a smile whenever sunwoo kissed your forehead lightly. he still saw you most days, spending almost all of your time together, but he couldn’t help but feel the distance that had grown between him and the person that sat just next to him on your sofa. physically, you were there, but you both knew your mind fleeted elsewhere. you were off in your own head instead of being in the moment with your boyfriend who drew love clouds in the air whenever he was with you. 

sunwoo loves you so much. he wishes he could fix whatever was bothering you to this extent. he wishes he could take your pain away to see you smile again. but when you love someone, sometimes there’s not much else to do besides that— love the other in all forms. sunwoo tried his hardest to make sure you felt every single drop of affection that radiated off of his body in the days leading up to this moment. he brought you back down to earth with a simple peck on your cheek or a squeeze to your thigh. even with the airy calls of your name, it seems to have not been enough to remind you that he was there for you. he was willing to go to war with whatever has been putting out your flame. you had called him over with the suggestion of needing to talk about something and now here he stood, already in front of your door. too lost in his thoughts to hesitate about ringing the doorbell to your apartment, giving himself no time to think about what he should do next. 

swinging your door open, you feel a small smiled curl up on your lips as you’re met with the sight of sunwoo. he’s bundled in his padded jacket, a familiar gray hoodie underneath. his cheeks and nose red from the cold nipping at his face. he wears a smile that matches yours, lips not parted as the corners of his mouth turns up. there goes the feeling in his chest again. 

“hi,” you say greet him softly. stepping aside to let him in, he goes to toe off his shoes. “did you get here okay? it’s so cold out.”

sunwoo hums in agreement, shrugging off his outerwear. “it’s alright, it’ll probably snow soon.” 

standing up straight, he finally scoops you into his arms. he should have thought about the reason why you had called him over here before doing so. he should have hesitated, because then maybe he wouldn’t have to bite down on his lip as your arms barely circle around him in return. sunwoo ignores you giving 20 and settles with giving you 100 just as he always does. 

you grip onto the back of his hoodie with your hands as sunwoo tightens his hold around you. you purse your lips as he snuggles closer, nestling his face in your neck. you feel the cold that lingered on his skin. “sunwoo…” you mumble and you feel sunwoo shake his head in response. 

“i know, yn” he whispers into your skin. “i know why you called me here, but please. just let me…”

as he trails off, you sigh and let him have his moment with you. you finally reciprocate his embrace and wrap your arms around him fully. leaning in closer, you turn to place a gentle kiss on his temple and giggle at the awkward position. “can we at least sit down? the couch is right there.” 

sunwoo lets out a breathy laugh of his own and picks you up off the ground slightly. he’s still holding you in his arms as your feet dangle above the floor and moves the two of you to your living room. you both fall onto the couch and sunwoo never releases his hold from your torso. you two sit like that for a bit, silence and soft breaths filling the room. 

sunwoo shifts in his spot, raising his head from your shoulder to rest against the back of the couch. you find him staring at you in a way that is so overwhelmingly warm, you feel your entire body flush. the boy in front of you holds all the stars in his eyes, moonlight twinkling into your own as if he’s searching for each dimming light. he’s still gazing as he lifts a hand to cup your jaw, thumb brushing along the surface tenderly. 

“you’re leaving me…” he whispers into the space. you catch your bottom lip between your teeth, looking away from the boy with his heart on his sleeve. but he catches you, fingers moving to bring your gaze back to his. “is there anything i can do?” 

solemnly, you shake your head. a sad smile graces your features as you feel your eyes start to burn. “i’m so sorry sunwoo,” you whisper back, afraid of speaking any louder. “i don’t know what else to do. i have to let you go.”

he takes a deep breath in and screws his eyes shut, keeping his bubbling feelings at bay. the frustration and hurt had been building up and up, but lashing out at you won’t help anyone. “you can do anything but that, baby. stay with me, talk to me, anything!”

“i tried,” you mumble. “i really tried so hard to confide in you, but i can’t even form this into words like… just look at me! i’m not myself anymore and i haven’t been for a while.”

sunwoo takes a moment to take you in. sleep hasn’t been finding you well and it shows with the way your bright eyes have dim, sinking in your face and surrounded by dark circles. the change in season has left a pale dust on your skin, no longer could he see the heat rise in your cheeks whenever he tossed you a flirty line. instead, all there is is a light frown that has been permanently etched into your features. just like your hair, you were a mess in short. but sunwoo didn’t mind the mess. 

he beams at you fully this time, displaying the smile you love so much. “you’re still the most beautiful person ever, yn” his other hand moves to brush an unruly strand of hair from your face before settling on your cheek, both hands caressing your face. “i wanna be with you through it all, okay? please, just let me be by your side as we work through this.” 

your tears finally fall. you wrap your fingers around one of his wrists as he holds your face. “i love you so much” you quiver, lips trembling. you turn slightly, placing a delicate kiss onto his palm and nestle closer into his hold. “i love you kim sunwoo, to the point where i wanna love myself too.”

he leans in, gently kissing your lips. but it’s enough for you to feel everything you mean to him. here you are, breaking up with him and yet he still can’t hold back when it comes to you. “until then, i will love you enough for the both of us,” he mutters against you, like a sealed promise.

a soft sob leaves your lips and you lean your forehead against his to keep you grounded. you don’t deserve the man in front of you. “i can’t let you do that. i’ve already been so unfair to you by keeping all this to myself” scooting back, you create a space between your bodies. sunwoo feels cold again, until you run your hands up the sleeves of his hoodie before bringing them back to settle in his own. “you bring me so much joy, i always feel at home with you no matter where we are. you deserve the whole entire world, sunwoo and the closest i can get to that is by giving you the best version of myself, but that’s not who i am right now…”

you didn’t want sunwoo to break alongside you, deciding that you needed to pick yourself up all on your own. like you had said, sunwoo brings you nothing but happiness. he deserves nothing but the best and unfortunately, you were not your best. how could you fill your half of this relationship when you aren’t complete yourself? no more walking on eggshells. no more worrying, no more questioning. and the look in your eyes says it all. it’s the most full sunwoo has seen them in months, letting him know that this is what’s best. even if it means letting you go to search for pieces of yourself you couldn’t find with him. 

this is sunwoo’s final act of devotion to you. how he can show and prove to you that that feeling he gets at the thought of you will never go away. after all, he’ll do anything to bring your light back. he’s always seen you within a ray of gold and shimmer— how it hurt to witness it fade in real time.

sunwoo tugs on your hands, almost launching your body to him as he lies back flat against the cushions of your sofa. he shifts to move you next to him, curling into you and you into him. you let him hold you and rub circles against your hip as you cling onto the front of his jacket. tears slowly fall into the fabric, but neither you nor sunwoo care right now. 

“i just want you to be happy,” he whispers into your hair. even if it’s not with me, he wants to add but keeps it locked away in his heart. “i’ll do anything for you.”

“when that day comes,” you speak firmly. “we’ll find each other again.” 

just outside your window, the first snow of the year makes its way down just as the tears on you cheeks do. the roads will ice over soon and the cold will only get colder. sunwoo thinks he should get up and leave soon, but he can’t bring himself to do that just yet. you’re also hoping he doesn’t move, wanting to be selfish yet again.

just a little while longer. 

sunwoo vows to always love you in this life and all the ones that follow. he swears to always find you and make sure you never hurt like this again. because when you love someone, there’s nothing you won’t do for them.

[mangosrar]

Always, i will be here.

chris sturniolo x reader

a/n: guys this one is lowkey-highkey sad but i love it so much:(

loosely based off always by Daniel Caesar!!!!

My y/n,

I wonder when i first met you, in a way that was more than just physical. I wonder when a line in a song reminded me of you, or the first time i walked past someone who carried a scent so similar to yours, that i questioned if you had just walked past me, or the first time someone made a joke so good i had to relay it to you later and pretended it was my own.

I always thought that heart break was caused by mean words said so harshly they pierce the soul. But in reality, they’re from goodbyes that weren’t told, kisses never shared and hugs never felt. These are the ingredients of a broken heart and they can never be fixed. Broken beyond repair.

The thing is even if you could go back, you wouldnt belong there anymore. I still perform autopsies on conversations we had lives ago. They could hook me up to a polygraph and ask me if i still love you, i would say no, and the line would jump and stutter in the exact pattern of your laugh. It feels better to die at your hands y/n, than to never have felt them at all. The heart has its own memory, and i have forgotern nothing, so dont set me on fire and act like you're the one burning.

I remember once you told me you killed a plant by feeding it too much water, and now you worry love is voilence and i know i always say you hold on to too much and every time you reply; asking me where you should put it down. This is starting to look like a contest of who cares less but i liked it better when you were on my side. Im afraid i will love you for the rest of my life and we will never be in the same room again, and im worried the amount of time we have left together is limited so please lingre near the door or forget your jacket and come back for it later. Please just tell me that im not as forgetable as your absence is making me feel. You only hate the people you love, and i know i could never be someone you dont like.

But surrounded by the churches and the dirt, i fell in love with you here. I had never told you. I wish i was braver. It's okay to not be who you thought you would be. But now summer is almost over, my feelings didnt change, and you aren't coming back. But always, i will be here y/n.

My Chris,

Christopher Owen Sturniolo, you have siezed my spine, took my bones and left me to melt into a sticky pile of mush where my body used to be.

I have spent half of my life loving you, and the other half figuring out my love for you. If i could write a book on all the things i wished you would have said, i would run out of pages. I feel like a kid at christmas whos been hopelessly dreaming about getting a pony,only to be given socks. I pushed you out and now youre so far away i cant even reach for you. I could call you a hundred names and scream and shout about why you were awful. But where would that leave me. I still loved you. I still have to live with that.

Its like youve taken a part of me and left it where i cant find it. I tried to forgive you, so i could move on, but how is that possible when i find you in every song, every tone, every frequency and every static. My brain cannot move an inch without bumping into some part of you. You are just a burning house that i want to live in, so why can't you let me put you out?

I wish you had left me wondering. I think it would have hurt much less if i never knew what made you fall out of love with me. You held me tight as i weeped like a little girl who had just dropped her ice cream, you kissed the top of my head and rocked us back and forth. You muffled my sobs with your lips. You whispered sweet nothings to me as i cried in your arms. You wiped the tears that fell for the heart you broke. You told me there will always be a piece of your heart that belongs to me. You have stained me. Tainted and bruised my soul. You told me that you’ve never had a love like ours and never will. You said that you’re future wife will know about me. Your kids will learn what love is through the stories you tell them about us. And suddenly, im at the kitchen table. Crying. Wondering what went wrong. But always, i will be here chris.

@christinarowie332 @jcwrites-blog @sturnphilia @biimpanicking @sssturniolofart @lividnity

LMK WHAT YALL THINK!!!!

[nabinochu]

I'm Fine

. ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ .

Y'all ever wish you had a Mammon irl to tell you it's all gonna be ok? Bc I sure as hell do. More comfort, are we surprised? I swear I have other ideas brewing that aren't just Sad™ lol

Characters: Mammon (Obey Me)

Genre: Hurt/ Comfort.

Warnings: Talk of depression/ dealing with mental illness. Slight swearing.

┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄

I can feel Mammon's presence behind me. He shuffles from one foot to the other, unsure how to approach until he seemingly can't hold back anymore.

"Hey, ya ok?

I can't break out of my trance, answering on autopilot. 

"Yeah, m'fine."

I hear him grumble as he takes a couple of steps closer. 

"Don't believe ya."

"M'fine."

"No. Ya ain't." He's standing next to me now. I can feel his concerned eyes bore into the side of me.

"What makes you say that?" I can't bring myself to look at him, knowing that if I do, I'll break immediately.

"Well, for starters, how long y've been brewin' an' stirrin' that coffee. Second, I've lost count of how many cups y've had today." He puts his hand over mine to stop me stirring the over-brewed coffee. I jump a little at the sudden contact.

"Third, we've barely been talkin'. All yer messages are super dry. And lastly," Mammon cups my face and makes me look at him. His eyes soften, though I don't miss how his expression falls a little when he takes me in.

 "Those bags under yer eyes are lookin' damn heavy recently." 

My breath hitches in my throat. Like a crooked hand creeping higher and higher and closing around my neck, I feel the lump forming and tightening. My eyes sting as it gets harder and harder not to crumble in Mammon's warmth. I try to stutter out some words, some hollow excuse to maintain the facade and ensure he wouldn't worry. But it's too late for that. I know he sees right through me. My chest burns. I can't find my breath. My eyes are everywhere except on Mammon as I try to fight the storm swirling in the pit of my stomach. 

Pathetic. I tell myself. Weak. Burdensome. The brothers don't even like y-

"Hey! Look at me." Mammon grasps my shoulders and leans down to meet my eyes as if he could read my thoughts. "Doncha know? I love ya. So much."

A choked sob finally bubbles painfully from my throat, and my vision blurs with tears. 

Mammon firmly pulls me to his chest, the front of his shirt becoming soaked instantly. I hear his heart thrumming against his chest, clearly fighting his nerves for my sake. 

"Let it out. M'here." He sways us gently.

"It's ok if things're bad right now. But ya don't have to struggle alone. Let me carry some of the weight, kay? The Great Mammon is strong enough."

We stayed like this for some time until I had finally cried all I could. I feel numb, my head throbs. But I feel safe in Mammon's arms. 

He shifts to rest his chin on top of my head. 

"Wanna talk 'bout it?"

I think for a moment, trying to find my words. My voice is hoarse, barely a whisper.

"Sometimes, I just feel so sad. I can't explain it or describe it." I grip the material of his shirt.

"I'll be doing just fine. Then, the second I become aware that I'm doing fine, the darkness creeps back in. Sometimes, there are triggers. Other times, there aren't. I wish it made sense."

I feel Mammon's hand tracing patterns on my back as he listens.

"And sometimes, I think this is it; I've finally hit rock bottom. But then I find out there's a fucking basement."

He doesn't speak for a moment, seemingly searching his mind for the right thing to say. 

"I'm....so sorry." He settles, letting out a breath he had been holding. "I wish I could take that pain away from ya."

I snake my arms around his waist and breathe in his scent. I turn my face to place a gentle kiss on his heart.

"You already do just by being around." I breathe. "You mean so much to me, Mams. More than you know. I can't imagine my life without you now." I croak out. 

I feel him tense at my show of affection. He pulls me in tighter as if I would get snatched away from him if he let go, even for a second. 

"W-well, of course! I'm yer first, after all!" 

He takes a moment to gather himself and then speaks with sincerity. 

"Yer my human. My one and only. I don't want to lose ya."

His voice becomes small. 

"Can't lose ya."

"I'm sorry for worrying you." 

"Nothin' to apologise for." He shakes his head. "Just stick around, yeah?" He pulls back just enough to meet my puffy eyes once more. I nod in agreement. He seems to consider something for a second, not entirely satisfied. 

"Pinky Promise?" He holds his hand up to me, little finger extended.

I can't help the small smile that tugs at the corners of my mouth. Ah yes, the Avatar of Greed, the second strongest of the seven lords of the Devildom, who deals in pinky promises. My heart squeezes at the sight of the demon before me. My darkness seems to ease in this moment as I wrap my pinky tightly around his.

"Pinky Promise."

. ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ .

[jumpywhumpywriter]

Bleed out, Black Out part 2

Warnings: sad character death, whipping, torture, Whumper beating Whumpee

He picked up the bucket and dumped the bloody water completely on Whumpee, who didn't even have the energy to scream as the cleaning chemicals worked into his open wounds, burning like fire.

"Caretaker isn't coming for you. You failed her, and you failed me. Can't you do anything right with your life?!" Whumper's words added a whole new layer of hurt to Whumpee, and Whumpee's heart twisted with sudden guilt.

The last time Whumpee had seen Caretaker was when they had been fighting over something stupid he couldn't even remember, and he'd stormed off alone in his rage, where Whumper pounced on the opportunity to capture him. Whumpee's last words to Caretaker were 'I wish I'd never met you, because then you wouldn't have been such a burden on my life like you're being right now.' But he wished with all his heart he could take it back. Caretaker hadn't found him yet because she wasn't looking for him, he'd hurt her worse than any blade ever could. He still remembered how her face had looked the instant he'd said it, the sheer devastation that washed over her.

'Fine then, I hate you too!' she'd shouted after him as he left. 'The world is going to forget you one day, and so will I. Good riddance!'

Whumpee realized just how achingly true her words were now. No one would know he died. No one would find his body. He was going to die right here on the cold floor at Whumper's hands, and no one would care, no one would mourn him.

"What's wrong, Whumpee?" Whumper cooed mockingly. "You look so... crushed." His cruel laughter rattled in Whumpee's skull, and Whumpee could feel himself being dragged down, vision going fuzzy as the blood loss and physical weakness started to take its toll.

He coughed wetly, blood flooding and pooling in the back of his throat from his broken nose, choking him. But he couldn't even find the energy to roll over so he could spit it out, he just stayed staring up at the ceiling as it became harder and harder to breath, slowly drowning.

The world came back into sharp focus for a single heartbeat when three distinct gunshots rang out, before it all went blurry again. Whumper had screamed. Why did he scream? A shadow suddenly appeared above Whumpee's face, and Whumpee squinted, trying to focus his tired eyes.

"No... nonono... Whumpee..."

That voice... Where did he know that voice? He had to be hallucinating. Because... Caretaker hated him. She couldn't be here. Wouldn't chose to be here. Maybe this was his final memory replaying before his death.

"Whumpee? Whumpee!" The voice was muffled and warped to his ears, but he could feel someone shaking him, someone that pulled him into their lap and turned him onto his side so he could heave the blood in his throat and stomach out onto the floor.

"I can't believe I let this happen... I tried so hard to find you!" Someone was crying loudly, turning him over so that he was face-up again. Whumpee could now make out the distinct outline of his friend. He wasn't hallucinating. Caretaker was here. She'd come for him.

"M'... so... rry..." He mumbled weakly, head lolling in her gentle arms -- oh how he'd missed her kind touch.

"I'm sorry too, Whumpee." Caretaker's voice cracked, her tears falling onto Whumpee's bloodless cheeks.

"W-Why... c-come?" Whumpee managed to croak. He hadn't realized how hard he was shivering, his teeth chattering with the effort to speak.

"Because I care about you, Whumpee, and all those awful things I said -- I didn't mean any of it! I said them impulsively without thinking. Once I realized you were missing I did everything I could to find you, and now--" Caretaker burst out in another bout of body-wracking sobs. "I'm so sorry Whumpee, for all of it. I should have supported you, not pushed you away." Caretaker pressed her forehead to his, face twisted with anguish.

"I love you, Whumpee," she suddenly blurted. It was the first time she'd said it out loud. They'd been friends for so long... and then dated for even longer, but they'd never actually admitted their feelings.

"M' luv... you... tooooo..." Whumpee's raspy voice slurred badly, and he put every last ounce of energy he had into a shaky smile, one meant just for her...

...And then Whumpee took a deep breath, taking in Caretaker's familiar scent and warmth, and let it out in one final trembling sigh, before closing his eyes and finally letting go.

He was safe. He was loved. And that was enough for him to be happy... for eternity.

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