#winter anderson angst

[drowningyoursorrow]

'ALL MY DREAMS AND ALL THE LIGHTS MEAN NOTHING WITHOUT YOU

kit walker x gn! reader (requested)

You and Kit first met when you both were sent to the asylum for crimes neither of you committed. You two grew incredibly close but never tried for anything more, although you badly wanted to. When the both of you were released, you went separate ways, you found the limelight and became a surviving star. Books and talk shows about your experience whilst Kit went off the radar, you try to gain his attention with your stardom. But will you succeed?

!!!: violence, swearing, kissing, angst W/C: 4.2k

YOU still clearly remember the day that you were dragged out of your very own home and misplaced into the asylum. An unfortunate day it was, you were grieving the loss of your best friend. It was raining that evening, everything was aching, and you felt as if you couldn't carry on. How could you? Your dear friend was everything that you had, without them, you felt as if you had nothing.

Before you could mourn any longer, there was a loud bang and distant shouting, outside your home. Fear struck you, then there it was. "Open the door _, you are under arrest for the murder of _!" Before you could even collect what was going on, your front door slammed forward and fell just before you. There you came face to face with a group of police officers, with a few holding guns and riot shields.

Your ears were ringing and everything felt hazy during that moment, then quickly you were shoved into your floor. Your head hit the ground hard, which only made you feel more nauseous as people surrounded you. Soon you felt yourself being roughly handcuffed, then being pushed through the crowds of officers and people as camera flashes blinded you. What was going on? Then you felt yourself fall into the backseat of a van, you couldn't hear anything, you could hardly even see.

Eventually, everything drowned out as you felt yourself pass out and succumb to your concussion. Soon after, it felt like you weren't awake, and you weren't sleeping either, you felt the vehicle shake as it moved. Everything felt so painful and sore, you could mildly make sense of your current condition. Laid flat at the bottom of the vehicle in between rows of seats on the side on the inside. Everything appeared metallic, your senses slowly coming back to you as you felt the cold of the steel.

Weakly you pushed yourself onto your knees, holding on the edge of a seat, attempting to lift yourself up. You managed to sit yourself onto the side and study the rest of your surroundings and your state. It appeared to be the back of a van, but everything else seemed to be barricaded, only a small window in the back doors. You peered through them, clumsily, and only saw rows of trees surrounding the road behind you. The sky was dark and appeared slightly stormy, worse than before.

You wanted to scream and kick around, beg them to let you go. But your heart wasn't in it, you recall them mentioning murder--you murdering somebody. The name being a blur but of whom was what you couldn't remember, your head was throbbing. You tried to touch where it hurt and finally picked up on the chains that were wrapped around your shape. How did you just now notice this?

That was probably why you struggled so much just to sit yourself up. Nevertheless, you lifted your cuffed hands and felt the top of your forehead, wincing at the slight pressure. You brought them back and noticed blood now covering your fingers, drawing in a breath to calm yourself. You relaxed but still couldn't ignore the pain that took place in every part of your body, you just wanted to know where they were taking you.

Not only that, but you'd assume you were about to be locked up for a murder, that you hadn't done. Maybe it was still the grief that filled you or wanting to just lay down and never wake up. But you honestly had hoped where you were going had something for you to lay, even though that should be the least of your worries. You closed your eyes and leaned against the wall behind you, hoping this was a dream of some sort. But you knew that the pain you're feeling was real and genuine, what a terrible day it was.

There was a loud bang of the doors being slammed open and darkness surround you as you struggled to recollect yourself. You felt your sides being pulled, and messily climbed out from the vehicle, still unable to really see. You could only piece out, what looked to be, a hospital? Before you just closed your eyes trying to gain back your consciousness, soon feeling yourself being pushed upstairs. Then cool hair hit you and just for a second, you basked in it.

Only being able to see fluorescent lights above you and faint talking beside you, and now you were just clumsily standing. Before you could feel yourself collapse, you were being dragged somewhere again. Then once again, you were shoved into a room, the sound of a door shutting behind you. You were still in chains, but you hoped that they'd remove it later, since it was dark when you made it out of the van. You fell into what you assumed was a bed, ignoring the discomfort you felt.

The walls were messy and old, everything was secluded, and you could faintly make out a bucket. You just laid yourself back down, making due with a position with the chains. And you closed your eyes, letting the exhaustion finally hit you, the pain subsiding only for a moment. For some reason, you didn't feel angry or anything, only tired, like you've given up already. You thought for a moment, you hope tomorrow is better.

You were awoken by clanging from outside your door, sitting yourself up against the wall behind you. The door creaked open as a nun made her way to you, looking down at you, judging you. You only looked up at her, unsure of what to make of the situation, mainly focused on why a nun is in a prison? "Get up." It was all she said, and you complied immediately, she seemed to appreciate that as she just gave you a smirk.

She pulled out multiple keys and undid the chains on you, surveying you as you rubbed relief into your arms and legs. A grateful look took place over your features as you gave her a hesitant smile, "thank you, thank you very much." That was all you could make out, your throat felt dry and sore, you could almost hear it when you spoke. "Follow me, I need to take you to the common room where you can stay in your free time." You only nodded and followed behind her, stumbling a bit with your steps as she led you through the long hallways.

You observed the walls and rooms you two came across for a moment, and then it clicked in your head. You weren't at a prison, you were at an asylum. But why? Before you could question any further, you two stood before a room that held groups of people. You turned to look at her, clearly confused and lost, but she only held up a finger.

"Just go on, I'll give you a proper tour of this place later, I have business to attend to." And with that she was gone, you were a bit far away from the room, so nobody really noticed you. You just swallowed away your questions and stepped into the room, it was loud and a bit messy. You could feel that you stood out from the rest of these people, but you continued your way around the room. A record player was beside you, you made sure to situate yourself away from everybody.

You were sure that the confusion was evident on your features because there were two, seemingly normal people approaching you. Unsure of how to really converse with the situation you're in and your current condition, you just pretended as if they weren't there. But they tapped you and stared at you, confusion on them as well, they were studying you. There was a male and a female, looking similar in a way, they both had brown hair and were pale as can be. They looked more rugged than you did, beside the blood stains and bruises that probably showed on your features.

"What happened with ya'?" The guy spoke up, and the woman just glared at him, in turn he just gave her an apologetic look. You didn't know what to say, and your throat was still in pain, but you tried your best to sound normal. "I got knocked out and brought here, I thought they would've put me in the cooler or something. Is this like a place for crazy folks?" You let the question slip out, but they seemed amused at your response but remained hesitant. "Ya, sort of, what did ya' get in here for?"

The guy seemed to have a lot of questions, but his expression seemed genuine, so you continued. You thought for a moment, "well, my best friend died recently, so I was processing that, and the fuzz just came in and said I murdered someone, I can't remember who they said, but I didn't. I couldn't even say anything really, I was just put here." The two of them took in your words and relaxed a bit before nodding their heads, "Ya, that's how it wus' for me too. Lana here was put in here for somethin' differen' though." The two of them continued asking more questions about you and the events that lead to you coming there.

Throughout the upcoming weeks, you got to know the both of them more and discover how long they've been at the asylum. Kit Walker was the name of the guy, he was a sweet fella and often got hurt the most. Lana Winters was the name of the woman, and she was more on the quiet and mature side. It took her longer to really warm up to you, but she looked after you as much as Kit did. They told you their whole plan to escape and get out of the place, they were setting everything up and wanted you to be a part of it.

You gladly agreed, when you guys weren't setting up your plans and brainstorming over almost everything. You'd occasionally hang out, Lana mostly did her own thing and you didn't bother her. Not only that, but you admired her in every way if you were being honest, you had placed all of your trust with the both of them. They've clearly been through more together, and you didn't mind, you enjoyed what you could get. You often spent more time with Kit since he seemed to enjoy quality time.

As the months passed, Kit began to tell you about himself and what he's gone through when he first came to the asylum. About his wife and, Grace, he never went into specific details on what had happened, afraid you wouldn't believe him. But when he did admit to what really happened, he expected you to just stare at him and believe he was joking. He was surprised and conflicted when you only turned sympathetic, your eyes didn't doubt anything he said. And that's when he felt it, he felt his stomach flutter, and he could only give you a breathless smile.

You two would hold each other when you cried and find comfort in one another whenever the two of you were alone. Sneaking out of your rooms a lot just to enjoy random spots Kit discovered in the asylum, and you loved every second of it. Occasionally Lana would tag along and those two would bicker like siblings, they finally made you feel whole again. You didn't really feel the need to communicate with them when you all hung out, you enjoyed just being alongside them. Lana would listen to your sorrowful stories, and Kit would hold you dearly when you cried.

You did grow more and closer with the both of them, and you viewed them both as very close friends. Well, your only friends. But you saw the both of them very highly, Lana, eventually picked up on your sudden interest in Kit. She pestered you about it until you did tell her that you were quite fond of him, and she could only smile. She gave you advice or things she's heard him say about you, and you pretended it didn't affect you.

Kit couldn't contain his smile whenever you two would interact, most often looking forward to when you guys would chat. Whenever he would come back after a punishment, he would immediately seek you out, since you would soothe him. He pretended like your platonic hugs didn't matter, but he always found himself melting into your touch. Whenever you got in trouble, he would plead to get caned instead of you, it hurt him to see you get punished. And as for you, you even begged to take his caning instead of him, and you were bad as him.

Eventually you two would talk about life when the both of you got out of the asylum, what you'd do, who'd you become. He mainly talked about how he wanted to get married or to adopt kids, he was always fond of the domestic life. You didn't care what you did or who you'd be, you mentioned how you hoped all of you would still be close. It made him pause and think about it, he only stared ahead as he thought about his future with Lana and you. All he said after that was, "I hope for us to have a good future together."

You didn't push, he was out of it for the rest of the day, seeming lost in thought a lot as you and Lana talked. Hoping it wasn't something that you said, you just headed back to your room, shamefully. Lana only watched you leave as she glared at Kit, he wasn't even paying attention, just anxiously bouncing his leg. When he finally did look up, you were gone and Lana was complaining about his behavior. It registered in his brain that you must've been put off by his sudden change of behavior.

He only groaned into his hands as Lana pitied him and his obliviousness, so she headed off to give him some time to himself. But he finally figured out what he wanted. As he stared up at the ceiling of the common room, leaning back against a chair. It was registering in his mind on how you two would laugh and hold onto each other, enjoying the other's presence. He wanted his future to be with you.

Building up the courage, he told you, he told you how he wanted to get out of this place with you. He told you how he wanted to be together with you, to get married to you. He told you how he wanted to raise kids with you, if you wanted to. He told you how he finally found someone who genuinely made him happy, and it was you. He told you that he was in love with you.

It was when the both of you snuck out and hid in his room, you could only smile as tears escaped you. He was scared, why were you crying? But all you did was just smile and kiss him, you kissed him like your life depended on it. And he accepted every ounce of love that you were willing to give. You two laid in each other's arms that night, looking forward to a better life together.

Later, you slipped out of his arms to head back to your room, not wanting to get in trouble. You slept more peaceful than you ever had that night. When you awoke, you could only see Kit sitting alone in the common room, he was lost in thought. He saw you approaching, and a blissful grin broke across his features, he hugged you, but you were worried about her. Most often, she was there before the both of you, so where was she?

But before you could think any further, what he said made you frozen. "Lana--Lana got out!" You stilled and joy filled you, you recalled what the plan was, she escapes and proves you and Kit's innocence. You couldn't even form any words, so you and Kit just held each other, your future was coming. Furthermore, you could hardly even think for the remainder of the day, you knew Lana was always smart, your admiration was what fueled you. She was your inspiration and your support, you already couldn't wait to see her once more.

A couple of weeks passed, and eventually you were able to get out before Kit, you were framed for the murder of your best friend. The thought still angers you and makes you feel defeated, but they eventually discovered it was suicide. You don't like thinking or talking about it, guilt always swallowed you whole whenever you did. Lana revealed that the forensic department was just uncoordinated and didn't look more deep into the cause of death. And what led to it, automatically assuming it was you because of close relations.

You told Kit that you'd gladly wait for his release and that you'll be waiting for him, and you two would get married. And he kissed you one last time before the two of you departed, The tape was revealed, proving his innocence, but it still took some time to get him out of there. During that time you came face to face with reporters, obliviously you answered each one. People even offered you a lot of cash just to say one sentence to them with your experience in the asylum. Before you were sent away, you were having money problems and barely making it to the next month.

So, you accepted each offer that came. Every book deal, every guest appearances, and anything that was offered. Overtime, you became a surviving star, Lana seemed to take the same route as you and you two would soon discuss ideas with each other. When Kit was eventually released, all he saw everywhere was you. All of it confused him, he'd seen you and Lana everywhere and for some reason. He didn't feel ecstatic about it.

He could see the change in the both of you, but what he didn't like most of all was who you became. When you heard of his release, you immediately went to him and greeted him. You couldn't contain your excitement one bit, and so when paparazzi discovered who you've been head over heels for all this time. It was everywhere. Kit accepted all of your attention, but he wanted nothing to do with the press or any of it. You two did spend a lot of time with each other, and you were giving offers to Kit, which would help him get back on his feet.

He could only stare at you with a saddened expression, all he wanted you to know was why you were doing this? You two had each other, why would anyone else matter? Nevertheless, he never judged you, he just denied every time you wanted to do a collaboration with him. With your busy schedule, the two of you began to fall apart, with bickering that turned into full-fledged arguments between the two of you. At the time, you were upset, and you just couldn't get where he was getting at.

Overtime, the both of you just broke it off, and you knew you felt your heart shatter when you went out your guy's shared home. He regretfully watched you from behind. He watched on how you didn't turn around when you were grabbing your bags, how you didn't turn around when you walked out through the door. How you didn't turn around when you put your bags into the back of your car, on how you didn't look back when you got into the driver's side. How you didn't even slow down or stop when you drove out of his sight, to never come back.

You watched how he just stood there when you packed your bags, you watched how he got out of the way for you to walk through the door. How he didn't say anything when you were grabbing your keys and heading to your car. How he just stood there and watched you put your luggage into your vehicle. How he just stood there when you got into the driver's side and paused for a moment. How he just stood there and watched you leave, without even waving or saying goodbye.

Years passed, and you became more than you ever were, with your new books and talk shows. You had everything you could ever dream of stardom, money, and cars, you'll always remember who got you into vehicles. You heard of his new upcoming marriage, you didn't know until Lana came to you and told you. It was when the two of you were just visiting in your apartment, she knew that it was better to know now rather than later, and you only paused and stared ahead out the window. You were happy for him, he was getting all that he wanted in his life, he was achieving his dream.

Maybe you should've fought harder for what you really wanted and not what you thought was the best for you two. You could never forget the expression on his face when you both agreed to separate and go your own ways. Your vision became blurry as your face became wet, Lana didn't say anything, she just went to you. And held you, just like he used to. You only began to sob harder and bury yourself into her arms, wanting to disappear and forget about everything.

You eventually calmed down and just gave a content smile, you were happy for him. But you knew that deep down that you'll always love Kit Walker and his terrible jokes. Lana and you decided to attend the wedding yourselves, deciding not to tell him that either of you were going. You slowly let yourself recover and adjust to him being with someone else, it was for the best. He was going to get what he wanted from the start, and you were going to happily watch him do it.

When the lucky day came, you decided to dress modestly and try your best to blend in with the rest of the crowd. Kit quickly noticed Lana, but he didn't see you, you made sure to stay in the back of all the crowds. You walked away from the group and stayed in a more secluded area as you smoked, needing a break. You heard someone approach you from behind, and you realized it was him. Surprised, you choked on the smoke in your lungs and hurled forward, the pain catching you off guard.

Kit obviously tried to go help you, but you just shoved him off and turned away from his curious eyes. He shouldn't see you like this. "Holy, are ya' alright? That sounded like it hurt, real bad." There was a smile in his tone, you just nodded your head weakly, still facing away from him. You wore a hat earlier to help your disguise, and it was working, "yeah, yeah feelin' great."

Shifting your voice into more of a deeper tone, he didn't seem to pick up on it. He just chuckled behind you, and you contemplated what to say, you wanted to talk to him one last time. "So how's the wedding? Best day of your life?" "I spose' you could say that, it's a weird feeling." "How so?" "I don' know, guess this wasn't what I expected." "Well, what did you expect?"

The question made him pause as he looked at the view behind the both of you, the ceremony was still going on. He's not even sure what drew him to this place to speak with this stranger, so he pauses. "Thought it'd be different," was what he finished with before heading back to his now spouse. You didn't even realize that you began to cry, so you hurriedly wiped away the tears and took a second. You'll be okay.

There stood Kit as he waited for his partner, you didn't want to look at his expression, knowing it'll only make you hurt more. Why were you doing this to yourself? They eventually looked at each other and said their vows, that was when you finally decided to look up. He was so happy, and you could feel your throat becoming dry once more, this was for the best. Mindlessly, his eyes surveyed the crowd before he finally kissed his spouse.

There he saw you. You were crying, but a smile was placed on your features as you clapped. You weren't looking his way, no, you were staring at the ground below you. Afraid to look up, it was already too much for you. So you got up and headed to leave, Kit stopped the kiss and stared at your back. He was watching you leave again, and a familiar feeling bloomed in his chest.

He finally saw you again after all of these years, and it's the same way when he saw you last. He could only smile as he realized it was you he was speaking to earlier, you who he watched choke on a cigarette. Turning back to stare at his partner in the eyes, but in the back of his mind he thought of something differently. He recalled the question you asked from before, what was different? he expected he would be marrying you. Maybe in another lifetime, would you be the one he's saying his vows to, maybe you two would've ran away together.

Maybe you both wouldn't be cowards next time, you'll always love each other in the end anyways.

..............................................................................................................................

- Inspired by Without You by Lana Del Rey - I have not written something with this many words in a while - Sort of proofread? - Alternate ending maybe

Hope you enjoyed and if you have any requests or questions please dm!

[1980shorrorfilm]

sour times

click here. resources for palestine, congo, sudan, and other countries.

btw to the requests in my inbox; i see u. i hear u. 🙏

pairing…jackson!abby x gn!reader x ellie

in which…you confront your not-so-great relationship with abby after she had stolen your best friend from you.

before you read…angst *sigh.* brief sexual content (for the plot!! no smut) you’re kinda mean here but i forgive you. 🫶

“do you like her?” “i don’t…i don’t know…i think so.”

her perfect blonde braid taunts you. you believe this is what hell is, following the lead of abigail anderson while the biting wind howls around you, snowflakes hitting your tender skin. 

the landscape is a winter wonderland, but you can’t seem to enjoy it in this state. perhaps if you were in the comfort of your bedroom, hot chocolate in your hand, and ellie williams by your side, you’d be in heaven. but that’s not even achievable these days. her time is spent with abby, the two in the woman’s garage, doing whatever when you’re not around, and you never are. 

it’s torturous to be the third. you had ellie first, your first real friend in the small town. you weren’t hers, cat had that blessing. but regardless, it appeared no one could even crack the bond you two had. and then she came along.

strolling into jackson like a puppy with eyes that resembled a stormy sea, her long hair adorned in a neat fishtail braid. she was sweet, but not in the naive way. she stood her ground when challenged, she showed her strength when needed, and she proved just how valuable she was to your community.

she also had a face you could admire for days, like some goddess one would worship many lifetimes ago. tan freckles scatter across her nose like lilies in a field, compared to ellie’s that are like stars in a busy midnight sky. they make their way down to her chest, sprinkled on her shoulders, and dancing over her biceps— her fucking biceps. god. abby was just fucking perfect. it aggravates you.

maybe that’s why ellie took a liking to her so rapidly. you get it— you hate it. and last night, you couldn’t help but ask your friend about their relationship, asking the auburn-haired woman if it was a crush. such a silly word, you had thought as it left your mouth. ellie even laughed quietly at it, avoiding an answer. then, you had asked again, ‘do you like her?’ 

and ellie had answered after hesitation, ‘i think so.’

i think so. jealousy coursed through your veins at the simple and uncertain answer; but you cannot pinpoint why, exactly. you never thought you liked ellie in that way. there was no doubt she was attractive, ellie happens to own that word, but your friendship was simply that. 

a friendship. no delving into romantic territory besides some lingering touches and a bit too deep all-nighters. there was nothing that made you yearn for her, when you already had her in such proximity to you, at your very fingertips. abby did a good job fucking that up, though. 

so you sat there, like a void was sucking you up at her answer. the idea of them…being a thing…sent chills down your spine. a nightmare possibly becoming a reality, if the feelings are mutual. and that scares you even more, abby finding herself enamored by ellie. somehow spending even more time with her than she already does. spending nights and mornings in her bed. it was all wrong. 

something that has yet to happen, already terrorizing you. it just can’t happen.

abby slows down her horse to walk beside you rather than in front of you, “you’re quiet…something wrong?”

you meet her eyes, legitimate concern within them. you were never the most talkative with her, but abby isn’t stupid and the tension in the air is almost as painful as the harsh weather you’re enduring. she wonders if she’s the cause of it. 

did she forget to wish you a good morning at the stables, something she did every single patrol? give you the wrong impression when she stared at you, utterly captivated by you? make you feel weak when she pulled an infected off of you, hands wandering your body making sure you were okay?

you answer her bluntly, “no.”

she tries again, “you can tell me if i did something…”

“you didn’t,” you insist, and surprisingly, it’s only a half lie. it’s the conversation with ellie that’s hanging over you like a dark cloud, and abby happens to be the focal point of it. 

abby seems to accept your response, for now, and tears her eyes off you. the wind has managed to pick up, and the horses are growing slower as they trudge through the snow. 

“that house up there,” abby motions with her head, a red house amongst the beige ones that surround it, “let’s hold up there.”

a stubborn part of you wants to tell her that she can wait there, and you will continue home. but you’re not a moron, and you don’t exactly feel like dying today, as much as ellie tempted you with the morbid idea. you’re freezing and crave shelter, even if that means being stuck another hour or so with abby. 

you follow abby to the home, waiting on your horse as she hops off hers, lifting the garage door for you to enter. when you do, there’s immediate relief in your body, abby behind you whispering sweet words to her horse, stroking the golden fur as she does so. it’s, unfortunately, cute. you keep your smile to yourself, patting your own horse when you get off her, then reaching for your gun before entering the home. 

“wait.” you pause and look back at abby, who walks in front of you, taking the lead yet again. an innocent yet condescending action that irks you deeply, watching the woman quietly slip past the wooden door, scanning the area for any sort of threat. 

you’re not as quiet when you follow behind her, stepping on some wrapper that crackles beneath your shoe, abby eyeing you like you spit on her. you brush it off, “i’ll check upstairs.”

“i’ll go with you.” “jesus— i don’t want you to.”

your sharp tongue takes her back, but there’s no anger in her eyes, it’s that same concern from moments ago. it makes you feel bad, but instead of apologizing, you leave her there, going upstairs like you said you would.

the old stairs creak with each quick step that you take, you forget the purpose of you coming up here. you just wanted to get away from her. that’s the reason why you’re immediately against a wall, snarling in your ear from a rotten corpse trying to bite it off. 

you resist, holding it at an arm's length away with one hand, the other reaching in your pocket for your pocket knife. your hands are cold and shaky, dropping it the moment you pull it out, when the splatter of blood meets your face. the thing is dead, falling before you, eyes meeting hers.

“a-are you—” “i’m fine,” you say coldly, bumping your shoulder with hers when you take a step forward and continue on. abby is really fucking confused, remaining frozen in the hall, staring at the dead infected at her feet. her eyes trail to your pocket knife, then back to you. 

you push open bedroom doors as you pass them, hardly searching them for any more infected. you assume if they wanted to, they’d attack you right then and there, and maybe if you’re lucky, a blonde knight in shining armor will save you. she had an annoying habit of doing so. 

“hey,” abby jogs toward you, trapping you in a doorway, “dropped this.”

the metal glimmers in her hands, and you’re quick to take your beauty of a weapon from her. oddly, you’re protective of the inanimate object, a thoughtful gift from ellie herself. the handle is a dulled shade of your favorite color, and the blade is a bit rusted, but that doesn’t bother you. “thanks,” you mumble, waiting for her to move. she doesn’t.

“wanna tell me why you’re acting like this?” “like what?”

“like that.” “what’s that?”

abby blinks at you, and you remain unfazed. you can tell her calm demeanor is deteriorating before you, patience running thin. “what did i do to you?” she asks, “since i showed up in jackson…it’s like you hate me.”

ouch. the words sting you more than her, and you cannot blame her for believing in such a thing. what have you done to show her otherwise?

held back smiles when she made kind remarks, generous gestures, and stupid jokes? left her out of conversations, not daring to spare eye contact when it was you, her, and ellie, sitting together? made weak small talk that made her feel like nothing but an acquaintance in town, when she just wanted more? 

you sigh, “i don’t…hate you.”

“you make that really hard to believe,” abby replies, crossing her arms. this close, you examine how the tip of her nose and cheeks are a hue of red from the bitter weather. it almost matches her lips…her lips. you’re watching her lips. you catch yourself, and whatever this is, pushing her away. you swallow the dusty air, fast steps taking you right back downstairs. 

of course, abby is on your trail. “you know we’re stuck here, right?” 

like a flip had been switched, you’re once again snappy with her, “no shit.”

“you confuse me, you know that?”

you pretend to ignore her words, focusing on the fireplace in the living room. there are enough logs to last as you wait out the blizzard, so you tug your backpack off and drop it on the distressed coffee table. you search for your matches, that are always in the first pocket in your bag, but they’re not there. 

you’re trying to remember when you took them out, or if they fucking ran away on their own. it doesn’t matter— abby is already ahead of you, and an orange glow suddenly illuminated the dim room. you turn your head, seeing the obnoxious sly grin on her face. “you’re welcome.”

you don’t thank her. you sit on the worn-out floral sofa a few feet away, eyes boring into the flames that are quick to warm you. “do you want a blanket?” abby offers, which you shake your head at. “you hungry?” again, you respond a ‘no,’ with your head. 

the problem with abby is that she’s genuine. she cares about you even if you have not shown the same worry toward her. and maybe that speaks for you more than abby. 

you don’t notice her reaching in her bag, pulling out some crumpled up gauze, until she sits beside you and reaches for your face. you move away when you feel her touch, furrowing your brows at her. “wanna be stubborn and keep that blood on your pretty face?”

your cool cheeks heat up, hardened appearance softening just slightly, then allowing her to wipe the nasty fluid off. she’s soft as she does so, taking her time, and the opportunity to adore your features at such close proximity. you’d probably give her a scowl if you realized so.

“is it her?”

“what?” “ellie. did she piss you off?”

abby is too observant for your own good. there’s only one…two people in jackson that can invoke such strong emotions from you, even if you hide them poorly. “no…”

“you kinda suck at this lying thing,” abby calls you out, large hand on your cheek, turning it so she can clean up any remaining blood on the other side of your face. “if she did, i could kick her ass.”

the somewhat joke leaves you with a puzzled expression. and then you laugh. “yeah, okay,” your tone is nothing but sarcastic, “like you’d ever take my side over hers.”

“what do you mean?” 

you bite your lip, tearing your eyes off her and into the burning wood. it’s not a loaded question, but it’s a loaded answer. to explain to her that ellie is her priority, as abby is hers, and you’re just there. someone that was kicked to the curb, left for envy to grow on you like poison ivy. 

you keep it short, “you guys are close.”

“well, yeah, we’re friends.” for now, you think, a humorless chuckle quietly escaping your lips. abby catches it, opens her mouth, and immediately shuts it. she finally lets go of your face, tossing the crimson coated gauze on the floor, her pupils still trained on you. the loss of her touch almost bothers you. then she speaks again.

“do you…do you think i like her or something? because we aren’t…anything.”

seconds pass in silence as you debate the question dancing on your tongue, curious if it’s overstepping but more intrigued about the answer. even if it will hurt to hear, you simply need to know. “do you want to be?”

“no, of course not.”

guilt ruins through your veins at the relief that settles in your body, knowing poor ellie would frown at the unrequited feelings. but there’s something else that gives you hope…why the fuck do you have hope? you gulp, “okay.”

“do you like her?” “what?!” “is that what this is about?”

“no— no it’s not, it’s not that.” “then what is it?”

you, honestly, cannot give her a proper response. this isn’t about some stupid nonexistent crush on your friend, yet that would make the most sense for whatever these feelings of resentment are. 

you’re quiet as you try to think of something, and it doesn’t help that her blue-grey eyes are zoning into you, as if she’s trying to peel the complicated layers off of you. she’s trying to understand, she really is, and it painfully makes your heart swell. you truly do get ellie. 

your façade of disinterest is chipping away like the paint on these very walls, her gaze on you making you want to break— to give in —and the moment your eyes fall to her pink lips, you do exactly that. 

you close the space between you two, nearly crawling on the couch and in her lap when you gently grab the sides of her face, kissing her before you even realize that you’re kissing her. it was an urge you couldn’t simply couldn’t resist. and abby welcomes it.

she moves in sync, pushing her lips against yours deeper, surprised when you pull away. the moment hits you at once; you and abby. abby and you. it has your eyes widened and lips parted, searching for something to say. sorry? no…that doesn’t feel right. you’re not sorry. and abby doesn’t want you to apologize, she needs you to keep going.

as if you both read the others mind, you lean into each other, connecting your lips once more.

you think of ellie, what she had told you with such vulnerability, and then you think of abby. abby, who had a intense desire to taste you, and was making that evidently clear. the aftermath of whatever this is, will be dealt with when that time comes.

you swallow the guilt when your tongue mixes with hers, abby tugging you on top of her, gripping your shirt like her life depends on it. her eagerness sends shivers down your spine, more intense than the horrid weather outside ever could to you. 

it feels too good to stop, she feels too good. abby is unbuttoning her jacket, while you’re tugging yours off, the kiss suddenly messy as you’re both failing to multitask. you giggle against her lips when you both manage to do so, her callous hand cradling the back of your neck to draw you closer. if that were possible.

you deepen the kiss, your hands slipping beneath the knit long sleeve shirt she wears. you explore the abs you’ve only ever seen through tight shirts that had you in a daze, not that you would’ve ever admit that to her, though. she attempts to say your name against your lips, her voice weak and breathy.

you pull away and tilt her chin up with your fingers, trailing your lips down her jaw, to the side of her neck. the world outside vanishes as abby loses herself in the sensation of your lips on her neck, sweet kisses that shift to gentle bites.

it’s the tender spots that you suck, that earn hushed whimpers from her. and you make sure to do it over, over, and over again. like a damn vampire, sinking your teeth into her, and marking your territory, when she’s not even yours.

and then you stop, noticing the room was dark. the fire had gone out. “we should— uh,” you climb off of her, the woman catching the breath she seemed to hold still the entire time. 

“yeah…” she agrees, chest rising, licking her lips. 

the wind has calmed down by now, a tolerable ride home that’s extremely quiet, besides the occasional gust of wind. except it’s not awkward the way it was hours prior. you’re exchanging short glances at the other, small smiles when your eyes would meet. 

you make it back to jackson safely, both of you dropping off the horses at the stables, making small talk as you walk home. you’re not talking about what just happened inside that red house, both of you are too shy to bring it up, to ask if that meant anything to the other. 

it truthfully drifts from your mind as abby is explaining a childhood story, until your eyes fall on her. ellie, heading in your direction, toward you two. 

it’s when she gets closer, that her pupils fall to abby’s neck; the pale skin decorated with purple marks, caused by you. she had been so worried about you two, and now, she feels dumb. and hurt.

especially when you just give her a tight-lipped smile, knowing exactly what you have done. and more importantly, that you wanted her to see it.

[lemoniiiiiii]

sent from above

(kai anderson x reader) in where you try to make your boyfriend's day a little sweeter

content: angst, use of knives (nothing crazy)

a/n: kai brainrot + maternal instincts combo goes crazyyyy

--

You sit on Winter's bed, watching as she sifts through boxes from her closet.

"You really do like my brother, don't you?..." She says with a solemn cadence.

You nod. "I do."

With a sigh, Winter hands you a faded piece of paper. It feels delicate, like it might crumble in your hands. "This is it…"

You trace the faded cursive carefully. "I won't tell him. I'll say I found it while cleaning. Thank you so much Winter."

"Uh- Yeah, no problem. Just… remember that he’s—"

"I know."

For weeks, Kai's paranoia has been ramping up, and you wanted to do something—anything—that might ground him, even briefly. So you'd gone to Winter, asking if she still had one of her mother's old recipes.

As anything was with Kai, this was a risk. This gesture could easily be turned against you; he might even accuse you of using his mother’s memory to manipulate him.

But for some reason you don't care.

--

Later, you're plating the dish when you hear the heavy clomp of combat boots, quickening as they approach, then coming to an abrupt stop.

"Perfect timing." You look up at your boyfriend and smile, holding the dish up slightly. "I made something for you."

Kai slowly walks to you, silent, calculating. He steps close—so close there’s barely space between you, with only the plate in your hands separating you.

"Apple Pie. The all-american dessert." Your words come out in a low murmur.

"Correct." He flicks open his pocket knife, carving off a bite and balancing it on the blade. "Open."

You part your lips instinctively, and he guides the piece to your mouth. As you bite down, the sweetness of the pastry mingles with a faint metallic tang from the knife's edge. Kai pulls it back with a slow precision, leaving a sharp taste lingering amid the warm notes of apple and spice.

Then, in a slow, deliberate motion, he turns the knife around, offering the handle to you. His eyes hold yours, dark and watchful, as you take it and mirror his gesture, bringing a piece to his lips. He leans forward, just enough to take the bite. As the familiar taste hits him, there's a shift—a crack in his steely facade. And for a split second, you see the boy he used to be, before everything turned dark.

Without a word, he raises a hand, a silent command for his guards to leave. They exchange glances but obey, slipping out of the kitchen.

Now, it’s just the two of you, alone.

He speaks in a whisper, but each word drips with a mix of wonder and suspicion. “She sent you… didn’t she?”

The words hang in the silence, and for a moment, his intense gaze softens, his brow knitting as if he’s trying to make sense of what he’s just said. “I knew it,” he breathes. “I knew she…”

He pauses, staring at you with a vulnerable intensity you've never seen before, like he's fighting to believe in something beyond his hardened reality. It's as if he's convinced that his late mother, somehow, some way, has sent you into his life—an angel, perhaps, to guide him, to protect him from the shadows he can't escape. The idea fills him with a fierce, quiet hope. His mistrust, his paranoia, all of it seems to melt away as he stares at you, searching for some sign, some proof of his mother.

You set the plate carefully on the counter behind you, keeping your movements slow and gentle, as if any sudden motion might startle him. Stepping forward, you raise your arms and slide them around him, feeling the tension that coils through his frame. Your hands find their way to his back, moving in soothing, slow circles, the warmth of your touch grounding him.

At first, he stiffens, caught off-guard by the unexpected embrace, his arms remaining at his sides. But gradually, as your hands continue their gentle rhythm along his back, he softens against you, letting the rigidity melt away. His shoulders drop, and you feel the faint rise and fall of his breath, a steadying rhythm that seems to settle him, little by little. Your touch is careful, maternal—each motion reassuring, as if you’re somehow reaching into the lonely places he’s kept hidden, places starved of comfort.

You press your cheek lightly against his shoulder, and the silence stretches between you, filled with a sense of calm that seems almost foreign to him. You can sense him leaning into the embrace, accepting the warmth you offer, maybe even craving it, though he would never say so.

--

tags (ask to be added or removed anytime!): @fear-is-truth @juliamaximoff @jazz-berry @violetsghosts @quickreider @tiffysdeath @honeymoon8 @wcnderlnds @lacucarachapisser @xrag-dollx @oceanblvd111 @andiloveher @vi0l3tgard3ns

[princesssmars]

holly jolly!

an abby anderson x reader based on my abby winter drabble !

wc : 15.718

contains : fluff, angst and smut . fxf relationship. fem!reader. switch! abby and reader. oral and penetrative sex. strap-on yippee. past abby x owen ewwww. owen hate bc i hate him and its funny. reader is a skier and abby does hockey! shitty dad for reader sorry girls. slight alcoholism sorry girls again. the reader is described as slightly tall i know yall been wanting taller readers. reader is kind of bitchy and abby loves it my fave dynamic (dynamic and pretty much the rest inspired by the little ruse go read it).

a/n : sorry i never got over my drabble guys. i dont know who exactly made hockey!abby but ive read em all so big creds to @angelkissiies @millersaurora @whatwouldsylwrite (and @eightstarr for calling abby princess) everyone else smoochies ily <3 made reader a skier because ive been obsessing over the olympics and i watched mollys game and thought it would be cool if i made a skier reader instead of a figure skater. ballerina next time if yall will indulge my delusions.

christmas has always been a bittersweet holiday.

you can remember the good parts from your childhood. picking out your first stocking with your mom. when your younger brother hid in the cupboard to try and catch santa. when your baby brother got cookie dough all over the kitchen, even on the ceiling. or when you were five years old and your dad gifted you your very first pairs of skis.

but it was hard to remember when the bad could get really bad. constant days spent out in the cold and snow, redoing your runs over and over until your legs burned and your back ached. your days that were supposed to be full of vacationing and fun instead filled with aches and falls and countless arguments once you realized you could start talking back.

some of the few friends you've had over the years tried to get you to focus on the good times and not the bad. that dwelling in the past wouldn't help you move forward. when you were younger you'd just call them assholes and move on, but recently it didn't seem worth the effort. that's probably why you started college with no close friends.

it was fine. you had your smarts, which helped you to get a full-ride scholarship when a skiing one fell through after a bad leg injury a few months back. because of that, your mom managed to convince your dad to get off of your ass for a while as you recovered. you had money thanks to your parents and you had your looks which would land you a hookup once in a blue moon.

you'd even made two acquaintances on campus, your roommate, tonya, who was pretty mellow and made sure not to bring the weed she smoked inside your dorm, and a girl named nora in one of your general ed classes whom you would partner up with often.

so yeah. it was fine. at least until the end of your freshman year.

you were running late for your ten am class, sleeping in because tonya had somehow managed to convince you to go to a small party with her last night and take body shots, and then when you were close to being drunk you saw one of your past hookups in the corner who you had dropped for getting way too attached way too quickly, so then you had to quickly find tonya and run back to your dorm-

youre in the middle of remembering ton's bird-like laugh when you nearly faceplanted into your front door when you ran full force into a hulking mass of a body.

the sound of them lightly cursing and asking if you were okay falls on deaf ears as you pick up your bag and hike it to your class, ignoring the stairs of the other students when you rush and plop into your seat.

luckily you manage to get yourself together afterwards, fixing yourself up at your dorm before heading to your next course with nora. as soon as you sit down she's teasing you about a video she saw of you getting wasted last night and you don't even have the energy to entertain her.

"well, instead of getting drunk off your ass again how about you join me tonight? one of my friends is on the hockey team and i got some nice ass tickets."

"c'mon, nora. hockey? seriously?"

"oh, im sorry ms. olympian, is hockey too good for you suddenly? just a bunch of women tossing a puck around too barbaric for you?"

"wait, you didnt say it was women's hockey."

"well, it is."

"..."

"..."

"what time does it start?"

at around five you're putting on a cute sweater and a puffer jacket before joining nora on the campus bus where she tries to quickly explain the rules of hockey to you in the span of five minutes. she asks how on earth you haven't been to one of the games or at least heard of the team's star breakout player. you have to carefully explain that you've had enough of sports to last a lifetime.

the indoor arena is packed, and you have to roughly squeeze and push multiple people out of the way to get by. nora starts laughing and tells you to leave the violence to the players and you brush her off. (for some reason she constantly loves to tease you.) when you both finally sit in your seats, you notice that they're behind the glass where the team players get out onto the ice and sit for breaks. nora suddenly bangs on the glass behind a player wearing an ANDERSON 20 jersey. the girl stands up and turns around and good god.

you weren't the shortest girl yourself, standing a couple inches over most girls you knew, but jesus she was easily almost six feet tall, and big, even if her jersey and gear probably made her look larger which really didn't help you focus. you liked the contrast of it with her face, bright, cute, and red from the cold as she talked to nora through the plexiglass. you were just about to admire the shape of her nose when her slightly unnerving blue eyes turned to you.

"hey, i recognize you!"

your brows pull in a deep scrunch.

"from this morning, you bumped into me and nearly knocked me on my ass."

"oh my god, i had a feeling that was you!" you hear the familiar noise of nora laughing at your pain. "jeez, how drunk did you get last night?"

"would you just- look, im sorry about earlier. i was hungover and rushing to class."

she smiles and shakes her head. "its chill, dont worry about it. nora, are you going to that party at derek's frat after? i swear he was begging me to come but i wasnt too sure."

"abby, everyone asks you to go to their parties and you never do! live a little." nora pauses before wrapping her arm around your shoulders.

you knew she was about to say something to piss you off.

"even little y/n here is gonna come and properly apologize to someone for once. isn't that right, hun?"

great.

"well, that wasn't my plan for tonight. at all." you say before picking up your giant hockey-themed plastic cup and taking a sip, hoping the chill of your slushie numbs out the rest of this conversation.

abby adjusts some of her straps and her helmet before resting her hand on the glass, noticing how the rest of her teammates are getting ready to go out on the ice. "well, i'd really like to see you there. is there any way i could convince you to come?"

"i don't know, is there?"

"how about... when i win, you come to the party with me."

you couldn't help but roll your eyes so hard they hurt. leave it to nora to be friends with the walking cliche of an arrogant sports player. you could've been spending this moment in your dorm watching a dumb hallmark movie about a businesswoman falling in love with a farmer while eating chips and drinking a self-indulgent capri sun.

"and if you lose?"

the announcer over the loudspeaker called for the game to start and the players started making their way onto the ice. abby winks at you before turning around and joining the rest of her team.

"trust me, i won't."

you scoffed and flopped back into your hard seat, sucking almost angrily at the bright red straw in your slushie to ignore nora's look.

"are all of your friends that annoying?"

"kind of. thought you'd enjoy it though. birds of a feather."

not bothering to entertain her, you focused on the game that was starting in front of you.

you could understand the basics of the game; one team had to get the puck into the other goal several times until they won. you had a brief understanding of some of the other rules, mostly because your father explained every winter olympic sport to you in great detail when you were twelve. it became so boring at one point that you fell asleep and banged your head on the coffee table, startling the both of you so much he decided to let you go to bed.

but as the game goes on you have to admit that anderson is frighteningly good at what she does. she moves gracefully and quickly on the ice, so well you think to yourself that if she ever tires of hockey she could seriously pursue ice skating, but when an opposing player gets too aggressive with her she returns it with force. she's like an avalanche on skates.

when the game ends you can't tell whether you're shocked or agitated. your team won in what nora called a 'total fucking landslide', the bright 6-1 lighting up the scoreboard like a smack in the face. it felt slightly awkward that everyone around you was yelling and celebrating while you were sitting statue still in your seat.

nora could probably sense your discomfort and gently pulled you up, telling you that the both of you could throw your things away before meeting up with some more friends of hers before heading to the party.

so awesome.

her friends were nice enough, a psychology student named leah and her boyfriend jordan who was some type of biology major. they seemed happy to meet you but happier to make googoo eyes at each other and go to the party, which meant you most likely wouldn't see them again once you got there unless you stumble upon the two in a hallway closet or bathroom. there was also mel, a nursing student who seemed slightly closed off but agreed with you when you mentioned this party would probably be loud and gross. a bunch of athletes celebrating a win is a recipe for disaster.

"finally, the campion herself arrives!" jordan cheers and raises his bag of chips up to abby who's walking up to your group, wearing a simple college sweatshirt and some black sweatpants. for something so basic she makes it look good, and if you didn't have any integrity and weren't pissed off about this party bet thing you'd tell her so. but you are pissed off and still have about half of your integrity, so you keep your mouth shut.

when she bumps into your shoulder with a 'told ya i'd win' you're about to reply with a snarky remark when a tall man with dark blonde hair and another with tanned skin and brown hair come up beside her and raise her up on their shoulders, chanting 'anderson, anderson!' on repeat. you look to nora who just rolls her eyes and tells you that she'll introduce you in the car.

you're all split into two cars, with you riding with the two strange men along with abby and nora. they tell you the guysin the front seats are owen and manny. also that they've all known each other since they were teens which definitely doesn't make you feel like an outsider. but manny keeps trying to joke around with you so you don't feel too awkward which you can appreciate. even if you don't really laugh.

when the car stops at a giant white frat house you arent surprised in the slightest. you were about to prepare yourself for another night of drinking and finding another hookup when abby throws her arm over your shoulder and decides that she likes you enough to spend most of the night by your side.

she walks with you to get drinks and then leaves to go celebrate with some other friends while you sit and nurse your drink for a while. it leaves you some time to think, asking yourself why you're acting like you're trapped here when you could just leave whenever you want, but you don't understand why you don't. maybe it's because you'll use any excuse to have a good reason to drown out your problems with alcohol. or because you're lonely but don't feel like admitting it.

after around half an hour she comes back and sits on one side of you while you talk to nora and joins in. she asks about your major, if you're from seattle, and how you met nora. after a while you stop rolling your shoulders when she asks a new question and settle into conversation with her. and after a few hours you learn more about her too, that her dad is a neurosurgeon and she's following in his footsteps with her pre-med major, but that as soon as she tried hockey she knew she wanted to do it forever. she tells you that she doesn't really like drinking, she knows most of the people on the other women's sports teams, that she used to date owen-

you choke on a sip of your vodka and nora pats your back with a chuckle. you were definitely off your game tonight. but besides that hiccup you have to admit talking to them is enjoyable. even their friend manny comes over and dares you to do shots with him and you were seriously about to do it before the girls talked you out of it.

over the next few weeks, you talk more and more to the anderson girl, to the point where you're staying up at night to talk to her over the phone and waking up to your roommate giggling in your face. once she was so tired after a game she started snoring and you would not let her forget it. just like she wouldn't let you forget the time you got wasted at a sorority party, got on top of the kitchen island, and danced to a city girls' song before she set you back on the floor.

you wouldn't ever admit it out loud, hell you had barely admitted it to yourself, but you had started to catch feelings for abby. there was nothing more mebarrasing and cliche to you than falling for your straight friend, and you really didnt want to be on eof those girls who did so. but in your defense, it was really hard not to. she was annoyingly pretty, lord knows how many times youe admired the freckles dusting her cheeks down to her shoulders. she was strong and smart and every other positive character trait your brain could conure up.

but the worst thing was just how nice she was to you.

in hindsight, the way everything fell into place was honestly the dumbest thing ever. you were at a county fair leah had heard about and asked you to come with her along with jordan and abby. obviously, the couple went in their own direction after a while, which left you and abby to wander around getting on the different rides and getting your reaction to abby eating her first-ever funnel cake. but then it was later, and the two of you had stopped at one of those rigged pop up games and you bet her twenty bucks that she wouldn't win, and if there was one thing you knew about abby it was that she took bets very seriously, so when she won and had to pick her prize you were a little confused when she picked your favorite animal and handed it to you.

when you asked her how she knew it was your favorite, all she could say was 'you said they were cool a few times and they're your profile picture on your private instagram, so i just put the pieces together.'

you went home and didnt talk to her for a week. or at least you tried to, because after a weekend of ignoring her calls and convincing tonya to bring you meals from the lunch hall the blonde girl banged her fist on your door and basically demanded you tell her what your problem was.

"i don't see what the big fucking deal is. i'm allowed a little bit of space from you, abigail."

she scoffed and you could see her tongue bunch in the corner of her mouth before her body pushed past yours until she was standing in the middle of your room.

"i'm not saying you can't have space and you know im not. i mean, one second we're having a good time together and then you just shut me out for no reason. if i did something wrong i need you to tell me. i can't read your damn mind, y/n."

sometimes it feels like you can, you think with a snort, feeling slightly embarrassed by the angry look on her face. you collect yourself and cross your arms over your chest. "i just don't feel like talking to you right now, so if you could please get out now-"

"nope. not gonna leave until you tell me what's wrong."

sometimes you could forget just how damn stubborn she was. it mostly popped up on the ice, and you had once overheard her coach say that if she wasn't such a great player she'd be benched most of the time.

"do you realize how annoying you're being right now?"

"don't care."

"i don't give a shit if you have muscles, i can still kick your ass."

"i'd really like to see you try, princess."

you groan and cover your face, but not before raising them in a choking gesture. you walk backward and sit on your bed, trying to take a breather before anderson follows you and resting on the ground in front of you, her large palms smoothing up and down your thighs.

"please, y/n, just...just tell me what i did and i'll fix it, i promise."

you've never been one to cry. or maybe you had been when you were a young child before your father taught you that 'crying doesn't achieve success, at least not the kind you want.' but you can see how much abby cares about you in her eyes and you know that despite you being unreasonable she'll put up with it anyway. your eyes start to sting and you rest your head in the crook of her neck.

she doesn't force you to say anything more than you want, rubbing the expanse of your back while another hand gently pats your head. after a long minute, you pull your head up and find that the space between your two faces is almost nonexistent, your eyes dart from her eyes to her lips, and before you can say anything else her hand is on the back of your neck and she's bringing your lips down to hers.

its soft and sweet and her lips are soft and feel like heaven against yours, and she doesn't give you a second to be confused about what's happening because she's making the kiss deeper and pulling your body closer to hers by putting her arms under yours and pressing you in by the back of your shoulders. you throw your arms over her shoulders and behind her neck and decide that you're going to enjoy this moment for as long as you can.

but eventually, you need to breathe, pulling your head back and letting out a shaky breath of air when abby just moves her ministrations to your neck, sucking and biting on the skin until it bruises.

"i..i thought you were straight." is all you can manage to voice, the feeling of her body pressed into yours and her teeth nipping at your neck making your mind hazy.

she laughs and kisses your neck a few times before looking you in the eyes. "well, i never actually said i was, you just assumed so."

"seriously? you dated owen? he's the dullest straight girl choice i've ever met. and we live in washington" you scoffed.

"yeah, well. that was a long time ago. i've moved on to bigger and better things."

she plants a big overdramatic kiss on your cheek, repeating so on the other side of your face until she can see your smile and hear you giggle. when you both calm down a little she backs up and wears a more serious look on her face.

"i care about you. more than i've cared about anyone before." she smiles, her thumb rubbing over the back of one of your hands. "except maybe my dad, obviously. and nora, she was kinda my best friend before you. but you get what im trying to say."

you laugh and nod at her. "i understand. i...like you too. a lot."

"geez, you're seriously emotionally stunted. but i'll take what i can't get, you'll warm up to me eventually." she slaps her hands on your thighs, ignoring the annoyed look on your face before scooching your body up until you're laying down on your bed, her body gently flopping down onto yours.

"abby! get the hell off, you're wearing your outside clothes!"

"cmon, just five more minutes."

and as much as you complained during those five minutes, you both knew you didnt mind that much.

after that things were really nice. at least for the most part. you were officially abby's girlfriend, which she had asked if you wanted to be the day after you two semi-confessed your feelings. she knew that this kind of commitment was new to you, and the last time it didn't go so well for her, so you both decided it'd be best to take it slow.

(slow meaning you did everything you two did before with the added bonus of making out whenever you wanted. you weren't complaining.)

but keeping things on the down low was a bit of a struggle. abby was a huge fan of pda, always found hugging one of her teammates after a successful game or cuddling with someone on movie nights. she would hug you when you were just friends, but now that you were comfortable with her touching you more in private it started to bleed into public life, her hand looking for yours when walking around or giving you a kiss on the cheek after you aced another test.

the next problem was your friends. you had told nora over a late night phone call while manny had found out when he had walked into the living room of his and abbys shared dorm and found the two of you with your shirts off and kissing on the couch, shouting in both spanish and english about how his eyes burned but he was happy for you both.

you both knew you could trust the two of them with your 'secret', but you didn't expect that end-of-the-year party owen and manny decided to invite you both to.

it was a mix of things really. you were going to just spend time with your friends and nothing more, but you were feeling really pent up. when you and abby decided to take things slow, that also meant sex. which at first was all right with you, hookups were a lot different than sharing yourself with someone you really cared about. but abby was just so effortlessly hot, and now since hockey season was over she had more time to spend with you and it was driving you up the damn wall. it got to the point that you found yourself nearly always on the brink of an orgasm when after a long day she'd press you into her bed and kiss you until you felt dizzy.

so when she decided to go to the party in a tight long-sleeved top and a normal pair of jeans, you definitely should not have been all over her as you were.

(to be fair. she was also on you like white on rice. you had decided to don a tube top with a mini skirt, figuring it couldn't hurt to dress up a little for a simple party. especially since it made your girlfriend look at you like she wanted to eat you alive.)

after mingling a bit and getting yourself a drink, you meet up with some of your friends and start to talk to leah about some drama in one of her classes when abby rejoins you, moving your body so your body is resting into hers. you aren't used to such a public display of affection, but this alcohol is blurring any desire you had to hide that she was yours and you were hers.

"god, you guys are so cute together it makes me sick." nora laughs into her red solo cup, shaking her head at your adorable but annoying affection.

leah's eyebrows scrunch up and she starts to pinch at your arm. "wait, am i missing something? you two are dating?"

at that point, some other people were listening in and looking in at the two of you, including none other than owen moore. now, you and moore were always cordial, but you wouldn't call him a good friend like you would the others. you always felt that whenever he saw or heard about you abby spending time together or heard about how close you two had gotten so quickly, he would smile silently while staring at you like he wanted to burn lasers through your brain.

and he was doing the exact same thing now, his grip on his bear so tight you feared the glass would break. somehow you were the only one who noticed.

"yes, we're together. finally managed to convince this one that jocks aren't just big dumb idiots a few weeks ago." abby's talking breaks you out of your thoughts, her arms snaking around your waist and pulling you to sit on her lap.

you cant help but roll your eyes. "i never once said that."

"well you were thinking it. i could tell."

some of the people who you didnt know and who were friends of friends said congrats, how cute they thought the two of you were, etc. it kind of weirds you out to have all these people paying attention to you just because of who you were with, but abby's quips to any weird remarks you didn't want to acknowledge made you feel better about anything.

but later on, when the two of you are unseriously dancing in the living room, owen comes over and asks abby to talk in private, leaving you to dance with some girls you recognized from the last party. but after three songs pass and abby still hasn't come back, you get a weird feeling in your chest and decide to go looking for the two. you head upstairs and down a few hallways before you hear two voices in a heated argument, and after numerous visits to her games, you can recognize abby's yelling anywhere.

before you can knock on the door to ask if something is wrong, it opens and you see a red-faced owen, not even saying anything before he knocks into your shoulder and goes back downstairs, clearly ignoring your call of 'fucking dick' to his back.

you scoff and shake your head, turning back around to say something to abby before you slightly step back at the look on her face. its dark, like if owen didn't leave she would have kicked his ass first, and now it's trained at you. you know she'd never hurt you, though. partially because she cares about you too much, and partially because you always keep a taser in your back pocket whenever you go to a party.

"abby? what's wrong? did he fucking say something to you?

she laughs before grabbing your arm and pulling you into the room, shutting the door behind you and locking it. her long legs take seconds to reach the bed, her arm releasing when your body sits and bounces slightly on the bed as she stands above you.

"its...its nothing, just owen being a dick like always."

her voice is strained and her hands are tensing into fists, telltale signs that she was really pissed off. you hold her hands in yours, pressing little kisses to her knuckles. normally you hated being so sappy, but you knew that being cute with her was a quick way to calm her down.

"don't worry. i can guarantee one of these days someone is gonna kick his ass. unless i do it first, and you know i want to." you joke and smile when she laughs, gripping her hands so she can sit on the bed next to you.

"yeah, youre right."

"im always right. you should learn that if you wanna stick with me."

she shakes her head before looking at you in silence, and you feel your face get hot under her gaze. you'd never admit it to her but seeing her so angry really did something for you. the bottom of your leg rubs against hers, and her eyes dart down before trailing up your legs to the point where your skirt is starting to ride up your bare thighs.

"here, babe? seriously?"

you sigh, figuring she was right and having your first time together in some stranger's house during a party was horribly tacky. you start to move your leg before she grabs it and puts it on the bed before grabbing you and resting you in her lap.

"i didn't tell you to stop."

so yes, you did get tacky in a strangers house. and back in abby's dorm. and again after you both showered.

so if there was one thing you could ever thank owen for, it was finally giving you both the push you needed to take the next step in your relationship. but after that night things were a little strained, as abby and owen were on a no-contact basis, their fight having something to deal with them and maybe you although she wouldn't go into details, which just led to this drama also spreading to mel since she was dating owen and was always pretty neutral when it came to you and tense when it came to abby, and mel was close friends to leah who was now close to you and...

it was complicated.

but you were used to not having people around. you had abby, nora, manny, and tonya, and that was all you really needed. speaking of tonya, you don't think you've ever seen anyone as happy for someone else's relationship as you did when you told tonya that you and abby got together. she said it was 'half happy that you found someone for you and half happy that someone will finally get the stick out of your ass.'

but your bliss was partially broken when your mother called a week after you had your last finals to let you know she and her father were going to be visiting seattle to talk to you about something important. at this point you hadn't talked to either of your parents since winter when your dad had not so discreetly told you he would be on your ass about skiing again as soon as your leg was alright again. and you were definitely going to dread every minute you had to spend trying to cordial to them, don't even mention finally introducing them to your girlfriend who you so far had never told them about.

for a few days after the call, you must have been acting weird because abby could tell something was wrong and took you to a relaxing little cafe she had found when she first got to the city. you're sipping on a milkshake while abby does the same across from you, digging into her stack of blueberry pancakes, waiting for you to tell her what's going on while she talks about her schedule now that school is out.

"manny's gonna be gone for a month because of his music internship, so i was wondering if you wanted to come and stay at mine while he's gone. we can watch movies, dance to music, or we can practice those recipes i saw on tiktok."

"mhm, that sounds nice, babe." you continue to at least show minimal attention to what she's saying, briefly slurping at your shake until she speaks again.

"yup. but after that, i might have to leave for a while, i haven't seen my dad in forever and he wanted me to stay for two weeks while my aunt is visiting salt lake."

her words slowly die out when she notices how you stop slurping your drink, your eyes staring into space as your thumb scratches at your palm.

throughout your relationship, you had told abby the rundown of your relationship with your parents maybe once. at first, it was because it was a touchy subject and you would be embarrassed if she knew the reason for the way you acted the way you did and thought your baggage was too much for her.

and then it was because deep down you were jealous. they had their ups and downs, but abby had such a pure relationship with her father that sometimes it made you sick. while he didnt flaunt his wealth because of his principles, but abby would tell you about all the times when she was younger that her dad would give her the best birthday parties, take her with him to conferences around the world, and made sure she had anything she desired.

so when you had to tell her that the most your dad did was give you a break to be a normal adult instead of shaping you into a champion, you don't think there was ever a time that you secretly envied her more.

"this is about your dad, isn't it?" she whispered, reaching across the table to take your hand in hers. you nodded, relieved that your girlfriend could read you like a book and you didnt have to say it out loud.

"could you tell me more about it?"

shit.

you sighed, a deep breath leaving your body and clearing your head.

"my parents are gonna be here soon. said they wanted to talk to me about something "important", which means my dad thinks i've had enough time to recover from my leg being nearly snapped in two because he thinks he knows better than the doctor. but hey, maybe when i was gone he got another fuckin degree to throw in my face."

while you ranted abby never said a word, just paying close attention and providing you comfort. out of everyone in the crew, she was always the person people went to talk to when they needed it. she said it was something she got from her mom.

"all my life he's been like this. just pushing me and pushing me until im at the point of breaking until i use my anger to win. there's no doubt he's still doing it. heard my brother is being scouted at his games and he's only fifteen."

abby nods and presses a kiss to your hand, treading carefully with what she says next. "your dad sounds...horrible, honestly. he never...hit you did he?"

you feel your body jerk back and both of your eyes go big at your reaction.

"no, no he would never. im serious. wouldn't make sense from a logical standpoint, id be in front of other people all the time and any injuries would fuck up my skiing."

"well that's a bleak way of looking at it, but im glad he didnt. but the other shit is still bad."

"yeah. definitely not looking forward to dealing with that again in two weeks."

"i know, but im here, and im gonna stick by you every step of the way, alright? even if your parents find out they hate me and curse my bloodline."

you couldn't help but snort at her. "nobody could hate you, anderson. you would annoy them too much and make dirty bets against them."

"what? that wasn't a dirty bet! you'd just never seen my skills before and i used it to my advantage."

"whatever you say abs."

abbys reassurance and patience helped greatly, and by the time you met your parents at their hotel for breakfast, you weren't nervous about whatever bullshit they had to say.

but for some odd reason, they were very cordial. your mom asked you about school, how your grades were, and how you liked your chosen major. when it got to the point if you were seeing anyone, you not so subtly gushed about abby and she seemed really happy for you. your dad even praised you for picking another sportsman, avoiding your look while he ate his eggs.

a week later you even had the courage to introduce them to abby, who told you she would cook something for all of you to eat.

that tiktok recipe she was talking about? it was ratatouille. and you had to admit it was delicious, and you wondered how abby was so good at so many things and she told you when she was a kid she wanted to learn how to do basically everything and her dad was more than happy to indulge her. sometimes you really wondered how she didn't appear to be so spoiled.

but your girl was nothing if not a charmer, and by the end of the night your mom was gushing over how much she liked abby and thought she was a great match for you.

your dad was...your dad. he acted polite, asking abby about her intentions, if she was dedicated to her studies and sports and you at the same time. blah blah blah. abby gave perfect human resources-like answers that she knew would make you giggle and loosen up.

once dinner was over your mother insisted on staying a little while longer to watch a movie, finding out she and your girlfriend both had soft spots for mamma mia and grease and planned to drink some wine and let loose for once. while the two were watching meryl streep panic on screen your dad tapped you on the shoulder and asked if he could speak to you in private, and you were mentally prepared to get into yet another argument.

"i know i'm the last person who gets to say this but..you've seemed to have really grown this past year. I'm proud of you."

"thanks. i guess."

he sighs, shifting on his feet. "i know i've always been hard on you and your brothers. i just-i knew that if you had guidance you could be phenomenal at whatever you do."

"yeah, dad, but that doesn't mean forcing me to train for ten hours a day when i was still in third grade." you could list more instances of him being overbearing and partially ruining your childhood, but you don't feel like being the person who makes the conversation go sour.

"i know. trust me, i know. look, your mother has us going to a shrink and...one of the steps is asking for forgiveness and whatever mumbo jumbo."

you almost snort but pass it off as a sneeze. your dad in therapy was about as believable as a talking donkey.

"well, it's nice to hear dad but it's not gonna be just as easy as being nice to me and my girlfriend for a night."

"i know. which is why i wanted to show you this."

he pulls out and his phone and after a few taps shows you an article. you read the word 'olympics' and nearly blow before he cuts you off.

"just listen, alright? one of the big coaches was caught and fired for doping a bunch of the players, so they're postponing the winter games for another few years for investigations to see if there's any more misconduct."

"are you serious?"

"deadly. and i know with your leg and your schooling you'll have your hands full but, i figured the best way i knew how to bond with you was to help you. it'd be enough time to get extensive physical therapy and train up. but only if you want to."

"dad, i. i really don't know what to say."

"you don't have to say anything, at least not now. just promise me you'll think about it, alright? and if by next spring you still don't want to, I'll never bring it back up again."

after that, your mother comes and says they should get going to get enough sleep for their flight tomorrow, and you bid your parents goodbye with stiff hugs and a genuine smile.

for the next few months into your sophomore year your on the fence. when you were a kid, despite the pain and the tears and the bruises, there was nothing you loved more than skiing. you swear that the adrenaline rushes you would get speeding down slopes were better than anything you've ever experienced, even sex.

(when abby heard you say that one night on the couch, she pouted and wouldn't touch you for a week, telling you to go back to those stupid slopes if that's how you felt.)

but the point was that you were basically going through a beginning life crisis. either stick with the new normal you've created and potentially miss out on fulfilling your childhood dreams, or take a risk and potentially come out more damaged than before.

you were planning on spending the next thanksgiving mulling it over, but to your shock baby invited you to come with her to her dad's house for thanksgiving with her family. when checking in with her to see if she and her dad would be ok with this big step, she told you it was actually her dad's idea and she'd be more than happy to have you meet her family.

you swear to god you have never been more nervous on a plane than you were on the flight to salt lake, only being soothed by the constant free drinks you get in first class, the six hundred page book in your hands, and abbys large hand constantly rubbing on your thigh and back. you suggested that you both join the mile-high club as a joke and she seemed a little too into it.

"babe please, i promise ill be quick. i can even put my fingers in your mouth."

"abby, i was just joking. im not gonna do that and get kicked off the plane. god, you're so fuckin weird."

"you make me weird. pretty please? ill pull out the puppy eyes."

"i really don't give a fuck."

and you come to find out that abby's stories were true because her dad is so weirdly nice. he greets you at the airport like he's known you all your life, and is eager to find conversation the whole drive to his house where you both are staying.

you were glad that like you abby had a smaller family, or at least one she spent thanksgiving with. after her father you only had to introduce yourself to her aunt and her small family, a husband who you have to look down at and likes to boast about his coin collection, and three children. the eldest, ashley, was closer in age to you and abby and was clearly abby's favorite cousin. the middle child was a wild child named kris, who didn't seem at all phased that you were a stranger and kept asking you if you'd ever heard of their favorite anime series.

now, you've never been the best with children, you repeatedly told your mother to throw your baby brother in the trash when you were six, but you couldn't help but fawn over abby's baby cousin lyle, the cutest infant you've ever seen who after a few hours of fussing because of the time change, he calms down into a smiling drooling little thing who, although he keeps tugging at your hair when his mom hands you to him, seemed to actually enjoy your presence and laughs like its the funniest thing ever.

you didnt catch the way abby looked at you fondly while you were playing around with her cousin or the way she swatted her father away when he called her out on it.

so thanksgiving was easy, a peaceful week full of meeting kind people and eating some surprisingly good food. but you didn't even get a week of peace after before abby brought it up.

christmas.

yes the holiday was full of joy and warmth when you were a child. but after a mini teenage rebellion and your energy you just...gave up on the holiday completely. last year you spent it alone inside your dorm which wasn't the worst thing on earth. you got to watch corny feel-good movies like national lampoons, drink hot chocolate with extra marshmallows, and had free reign to the library since the librarian apparently used to watch your games on tv. it wasn't like it used to be, but it was enough.

"so, you're coming with us to the cabin right?" nora reaches across the library table and takes one of your fries from the fast food you sneaked in. for some reason she refused to order her own fries, content to pluck the ones from your container.

"what? what cabin?"

"god, abby hasn't told you about this by now? i thought she would have taken you there already and made it her love shack or something." she quickly ducks her head when you toss a burnt fry at her, looking around to make sure no one saw. "it's her dad's cabin at one of the ski ranges in the mountains, she invites us every year for christmas break or new years if we can't make it."

"first, you're a perv. second, i don't know why she hasn't told me about it. id probably tease her for it anyway."

"well when you see her next ask her, because you definitely have to come with us this year."

"i don't know, nors. you know how i feel about skiing right now..."

"you don't have to ski! we literally never do, as sad as it is. we just hang out, go out for drinks, and hit the skiing town. im telling you cold resort parties are insane."

you take a minute to mull it over, staring into space as you tap your fingers on the hardwood table. nora fingers tap on the top of your hand.

"i understand you're going through things, with your dad and all. you don't have to come if you don't want to. but i know we'd really enjoy it if you came, especially abby."

you nod and eat another fry before gegging back to the novel you were reading, some 'all-time classic' abby had said you had to read.

you saw abby a few hours after that, yet again staying the night at her dorm to kick off the following weekend. when you entered using your spare key the smell of chinese food instantly hit you, and it took you by surprise since abby normally insisted on cooking for you and manny.

you set down your things and kicked off your shoes before heading into the little kitchenette, hearing the sound of rather loud whispers that stopped as soon the roommates saw you, noodles stuffed into both of their mouths.

"what the fuck are yall starin at?"

manny snorts before making some weird excuse for leaving, telling you he's meeting up with some meteorology student at a bar and he won't be home until tomorrow. you bid him. a quick goodbye before turning back to abby, the blonde picking through her food.

its only then that you notice the gauze wrapped around her palm, quickly cross the threshold to gently but firmly raise her hand up to your face to observe it.

your about to go on a triade when you see that sad pout on her face.

"tell me who did this to you." you grumble, putting on a fake deep voice.

she chuckles and shakes her head. "you're so weird."

"only because of you. tell me what happened."

"i was trying to cook before we ordered takeout and i just...got distracted and burned my hand. its not a big deal, don't worry about it."

you tell by the way her shoulders were tensing that she was getting into one of her moods, always hating when she failed at something and hating even more when people kept asking her about it.

"well im always gonna worry about, something that's also your fault by the way. what made you distracted."

"nothing."

"abs."

"please just drop it."

"abigail."

she groans before slumping her head into her arms on the counter.

so you decide to drop it. at least for a little while. you put away the rest of the food, deciding to eat the box she bought for you after her mood had been resolved before figuring you'd leave her alone while you took a shower.

but if there was one thing you knew about abby, it was that she took 'golden retriever energy' to a whole nother level. aka most of the time she couldn't leave you alone and followed you near everywhere. after only a few minutes, you heard the shower door open and felt her large arms circle around your waist and her head rest on your shoulders.

"i wanna ask you something. there's this cabin my dad owns that we all head to for winter break and stuff-"

you felt your heart skip a beat. to be honest part of the reason you were nervous about abby asking you this was because you were second-guessing yourself and your relationship. you hadn't even been together for a full year at this point, and even if you knew you loved her and that she adored you, you didnt want to be the one to bring up this thing she does with people she's known for years and get your heart damaged.

"and i wanted to invite you to go with us because i just know youd make it feel so much more special."

"i feel like a 'but' goes at the end of that sentence."

she rubs her head into your shoulder more, kissing at the soft and wet skin of your shoulder blade.

"i didn't tell you much. about my fight with owen. but everyone knows we haven't been talking much, but he's still been my friend since elementary, and i was hoping that maybe during the trip we could resolve things. but if he ever said something to you or about you i think id go fucking crazy."

your turn around and hold her head in your hands. her body is still slumped so her head is more at your level and her pretty blue eyes stare right into yours.

"i appreciate that. your slight anger issues make me feel honored." a smile quirks on her face and she nuzzles her head into your palms more. "and as much as he pisses me off, i don't know how i feel about causing a greater rift between you and your friends. ive only been with you less than a hear, he's known you for-"

"year or not doesn't matter. you mean...so much to me i can't put into words. the only reason i was nervous all day was that i didnt know how to make this sound like i wasn't putting him before you because i wouldn't. ever."

you look at her a bit longer, swiping away wet pieces of her hair back from her face so you can see all of her. because she's looking at you like she can do the same.

you both take an intimate shower without a word, helping the other bathe and lather her hair in apricot shampoo she's become addicted to. once you exit, dry off, and change into some matching fluffy pajamas she bought for you both, you finally head back to the kitchen to eat your food before turning on a movie.

it was only because you both decided to choose some random movie that the stupid thought crossed into your mind.

"could you imagine if we were that touchy all the time? we're already halfway there and it drives your friends nuts." you poked her cheek while you were resting on her, her arm wrapped around your shoulders while your legs intertwined on the couch.

"what do you mean?"

"just like, overdoing it. always with an arm around the other, making eyes across the room. if you wanna get extreme you could carry me on your back."

"or i could carry you on my front."

the shift of her hips and the tone of her voice makes you turn your head to look at her, nearly busting out laughing at the way her eyes are glued to the screen while she chews on her lower lip.

"stop doing that."

"doing what? im watching the movie. watch the movie with me."

"this is just like on the plane. y'know i was kidding about the exhibitionist thing at first-"

"baby, please."

"please what?"

she groaned while you just giggled at her, moving your bodies so she was sitting up on the couch and you were on top of her, adjusting your hips so you were straddling her waist.

"what're you thinking about, bunny?"

a subtle whine escaped from her throat and you smirked in triumph. there was nothing your girl loved more than being called the softest and cutest pet names, and you would frequently use it to your advantage, like the time when she refused to help you cheat on a test 'on principle' and you rested your face on her thigh from under the desk with a 'please, princess?' and she happily gave you the answers after roughly grinding herself on your tongue.

"i just...maybe if we played it up at the cabin owen would finally fuck off and realize im yours. i just thought it'd be funny."

you felt a warm feeling in your chest at the thought, showing your girl all the affection she craved from you on an idyllic vacation while also showing that dick owen who's boss. maybe then he'd finally let whatever his issue with you go. or not. at this point you didnt care.

"ok. we can do it."

"what? are you serious? i was half joking. i don't wanna make you do anything you don't want to-"

you cut off her sweet rambles with a press of your lips to hers. her arms brought you in closer until your breasts were squished into hers.

when abby texted the group chat the next morning next to you in bed to let the others know you'd be joining, you couldn't help but feel warm at the replies.

manny : thank god, i need a drinking partner since no one ever wants irish hot chocolate

leah : because the last time you made it you got drunk by five pm and kept singing baby its cold outside while doing both parts

jordan : and badly

manny : haters

nora : omg thank god

nora : this is all because of me btw

nora : tell y/n we're gonna have sooo much fun

manny : wait is she gonna ski

jordan : stop.

you giggled at your friends' antics. you were already imagining all the crazy things that would happen on the trip and happily listened to all the stories abby had to tell you.

mel : cant wait for the trip! hoping ben's is still open.

owen : 👍🏻

a snort escaped from you. "oh hes so pissed."

"definitely." abby agreed before turning the phone off and snuggling into your neck to relax for a little while longer. "prepare, he's probably just gonna get angrier from our masterful plan."

"technically my plan. and are you sure you still wanna do it? i don't wanna drive a wedge between you guys."

"he started that at that party. either he's gonna deal with me changing for the better or im gonna leave him in the dust. now shush, im going to sleep."

your hand smooths through abby's locks as she drifts back into sleep, and you soon follow her into it, dreaming of pale snow and the sight of the slopes.

the nex two weeks before break starts you're horrifically busy, finishing up some tests while also buying and packing everything you'll need for the trip. which is really just an excuse for you to get a bunch of those cute thick sweaters you saw on ebay but that's neither here nor there.

once your last class was finished abby immediately called an uber to take you to the airport, citing that as the host she always headed to the cabin earlier than everyone else to fix it up and stock up on little things, everyone would need or forget like extra blankets and lots and lots of water. during the trip to the airport, waiting in the airport since you were both 'get there hours before the flight' girls, and on the flight itself, abby was telling you stories of the cabin and what has happened on the past few trips that you should know about.

apparently, the cabin (in aspen, which you teased her was so basic) was bought by her grandparents (more teasing) for family trips when her dad was little. but as his siblings got older and started their own families the trips dwindled down, until his parents decided to just leave the place to him, telling him not to sell it for anything since it was worth a fat load of cash by now. hed take abby and her mom there before she passed, and then once she turned sixteen told her he trusted her enough to bring her friends up there if they could.

"honestly, i think it was part of him being nice and feeling sad we didn't spend much time together then. we were still mourning and he was always working." she sinks into her first-class seat, sipping on her complimentary ginger ale can. "but we're better now, and i get to have a laid-back vacation with my friends every year."

"sounds like a win-win to me. traumatic way you got there and all."

"you of all people saying that is hilarious, truly."

a few hours of talking and napping later and you've landed in colorado, a rental car waiting for you in the airport parking lot.

"abs, you are so secretly bougie. like, why didn't you rent a private car that time yours was in the shop and we were stuck in the rain downtown?"

"it's for emergencies and the necessary."

driving through the roads of aspen snowmass is something close to magical. at this point, the sun has set and the twinkling lights of the villages are everywhere, and you can see a plethora of christmas decorations inside shop windows.

when abby parks outside of the cabin your jaw is close to dropping, and you have to hold it up once you step inside. there was obviously a lot of wood, making up the floors, walls, and beams that connect both. but it was also decorated with relaxed brown and cream furniture.

"i want you to know if we get married, im not signing a prenup."

abby cackles before sneaking up behind you and tickling your waist, cackling at your shriek followed by a scowl.

"'if' babe, really? nice to know you're so committed."

"i'll be more committed if you give me a tour of this place."

the cabin was big, of course. enough bedrooms for your whole group and a few more. you honestly couldn't pick your favorite. there was a game room with a pool table you were just itching to beat jordan and leah at, a hot tub outside on the deck looking down onto the village that looked like the perfect place to drink champagne with nora talking shit about her recent ex.

"now, this is what i really wanted you to see," abby smiles before pushing open a wide set of doors on the upper floor and revealing to you the grand bedroom. there's a giant bed against the back wall, with a warm little nook tucked into a bay window.

"it's so nice here abs, really. i can't wait for everyone to get here so we can start doing stuff." you drop your bags by the front of the bed and flop your behind onto it, loving the way it bounces you up and down a bit. and you can tell that abby also loves it by the way she's staring at the way your boobs jiggle.

"im glad you like it, baby. but we don't have to wait for the others to get here to have some fun." a pervy little smile lights up her face and she starts inching towards you, making stupid little grabby hands as she does so.

"you're insatiable. aren't we supposed to be making sure this place is ready for everyone else?"

"wasn't it your idea for us to play everything up for fun? that includes sex. a lot of it. strap-ons are allowed on planes, by the way. and other things."

"...seriously?"

"seriously."

at this point, her arms are caging you into the plush of the comforter, and you don't know whether to look at the veins in her arms or her eyes or her mouth-

"you're staring, pretty."

"well you're all i can see, gorgeous."

she presses a soft kiss to the underside of your chin, her tounge poking out to lick down your neck.

"god, abs, please."

"please what?"

you groan and she just laughs at you.

the hardest part of being a switch was that abby could just throw shit back in your face when she became more dominant. it was both infuriating and arousing.

“im not gonna say it."

"you sure?" her large hand slips beneath the band of your pants until its resting over your underwear, teasing you.

"yes i a-am!" your refusal is cut off when two of her thick fingers slide inside of you, filling you up in the most delicious way. it doesn't help your case that there's no restriction, the wetness between your thighs letting her know just how much you were enjoying this.

"y'know, your master plan isn't exactly gonna work if you have an attitude with me, baby." her words are gravelly as she speakes into the crease of your neck, occasionally looking up at you to ingrain your reactions into her memory.

"god, abs."

"this is one the things i love most about you acting like a brat, just means i get to fuck and love on you until it goes away. and i've got all the time in the fuckin world."

just when you start getting close to your orgasm, you could've sworn in the distance you heard the sound of a door opening before closing a few minutes later. the feeling of abby kissing you and adding a third finger inside of you. you decided to just drop it

later on, after a nice long shower and putting on this cute warm sweater you bought, you and abby decided it was time to head out and get enough groceries to last for around two weeks until everyone else would arrive and decide what meals they would want after. it was very entertaining to watch abby standing in a fluorescently lit market aisle decide if she wanted to make a giant chicken pot pie or some creamy chicken soup one of her teammates told her about. she just stuck her tongue out when you looked at her.

once you returned to the cabin you could hear some music coming from inside the house, and despite your initial worry abby just smiled and rushed inside, your brain seriously wondering if you had chosen correctly romantically.

you headed inside with a few of the bags, setting them on the kitchen counters before heading to the source of the music that appeared to be coming from the living room. once you cross the threshold you are happily surprised to see your girlfriend and manny talking and laughing in the middle of the room.

"ah! nice to know abs hasn't broken you already." manny comes over to give you a big hug before setting you down and shaking your shoulders, just laughing when you start smacking his hands.

"jeez, what is with you guys? be normal."

"you forget im abby's roommate. this is because of you. you gave me this trauma."

you roll your eyes before patting him on the shoulder.

"ok, ok. why did you come early? when do the others get here?" abby asks from her place still on the couch.

"what, i cant just come because i love and miss two of my best friends."

the room is silent as you both stare at him.

"well just so you know, that was half true. but also," he looks down a dark hallway before tugging you closer to the couch so he can speak quietly. "mel and owen are here."

you blink. "thats...odd."

"very odd, but maybe it's a good thing? who knows, maybe owen's gotten over the whole fight and wants to put it to bed." abby turns to you, those big blue eyes filled with hope that you don't have the heart to squash with a joke.

"yeah, maybe."

"well if he did do that, i don't think he's in the mood for it now." manny chuckles.

"why not?"

"he was confused to see a car in the driveway, so he came by two hours ago and left like two minutes later. his face was as red as a tomato, you know how he looks when he's flushed."

oh my god.

you turned to abby and her cheeks were puffed, a clear sign she was trying not to laugh.

well, it looks like your plan was already working.

the next three days were more laid back, just spent taking a chance to relax and sleep in after your grueling semester. you decided to spend these days exploring more of the cabin, admiring all of the rooms and the random really pretty art pieces on some of the walls.

you swore that nothing could beat the bliss you felt on that second day, waking up to the faint sun in your eyes and abby gently snoring next to you, deciding to cook up a bunch of waffles, one of the meals you excelled at, and read a four hundred page book on the sofa.

(the plan was still in motion at this point, just more tame.

once jordan, leah, and nora came things really took a turn for the exciting. after hearing that you'd been cooped in the house these past few days, leah insisted you come with them to some bars and other hot spots around town. you hadn't been drinking much lately but figured that since you were surrounded by people you trusted and a bunch of strangers you'd be able to handle yourself.

and you did.

for the most part.

you just weren't expecting the bartender to be the chillest girl you've ever met and make a killer strawberry daiquiri, because before you knew it they were playing some old-school song over the speakers and were hanging off of leah's arm like a koala.

"oh my god, im so glad you invited me out. this place rules. have you tried the daiquiris? serenity said she'd make me one more but you can have it."

"her name is trinity, and you're getting touchy. where's abs?"

you shrug and she shakes her head, looking over your shoulders to see if she can spot the hulking blonde. she waves someone over and then abby is in your vision, a soft expression on her face as she tugs your body into hers.

"how much have you had to drink, baby?"

"mmmm, not too much. i could walk in a gay line. look, i even made a corny joke!"

"yes, you did." she squats down a little bit and you wrap your arms around her neck and your legs around her waist, trying to restrain yourself from making any noises when she lifts you with ease to the amusement of some of the people in the bar.

"how about we head back and take a long bath, pretty. ill even try those rose face masks you bought."

you were about to agree when out of the corner of your eye you catch owen, sitting inside a booth with jordan and manny, sparing looks in your direction.

you smirk down at her and she can already guess what you're thinking, tightening her grip on your hips.

"or we can do that later. and dance now."

you nod and loosen your legs for her to drop you but she just holds you tighter for a moment, leaning her head up to place a heated kiss on your lips before pulling away, fighting to ignore the tiny string of spit that connects your lips to hers.

"ok. now we can dance."

abby told you the next day that owen had asked to talk to her one on one in the morning and she didn't really understand what it meant. he apologized for lashing out at her, apparently, but still didnt agree with some of the 'drastic changes to her personality' that were happening lately.

you really tried to promise her that you wouldn't cuss him out, telling you she'd handle it later after having a conversation with manny to figure out when the hell he started acting like this.

focus on tried.

you and nora were in the kitchen that night making cups of hot chocolate, taking the chance to top them with all the stuff you weren't allowed to as a child. also probably increasing your risks of cavities, but whatever, it was nostalgic. you were laughing at the absurd abundance of whipped cream in her mug and the three candy canes in yours when you heard footsteps coming into the kitchen, looking over to see owen looking over some things in the fridge.

you looked at nora. she looked at you.

"so owen, how are things going with mel?"

his hand pauses over some leftover noodles, gripping it with a fist.

"we're great actually, thanks for asking norsie."

noras eye twitches, bumping into your shoulder before leaving the room to rest in the kitchen and wait for you before starting a movie.

owen turns and suddenly its just the two of you. staring at each other. you with a three-caned hot cocoa and he with a tupperware of linguine.

"what's your fucking problem."

his eyebrows shoot up, almost like he wasn't expecting you to actually bring up the tension at hand.

"y/n, is this really the time-"

"yes, it is the goddamn time to ask you why you've been acting like a dick to me and my girlfriend."

his mouth quirks downwards and you nearly laugh at the realization of the words, the glances, how he would look at abby sometimes like a kicked puppy even when his damn girlfriend sat on his lap, it was all because he couldn't move the fuck on.

"seriously? that's the reason? you've been putting me, putting abby through hell because you're still hung up over her? this is my worst gay nightmare."

"it's because ever since she's been with you shes been different, always acting like she's some better person now that she's over me. like i was the thing holding her back. how do you think that makes me feel, huh?"

you stare at him after his quiet outburst, his face that signature shade of pink and his eyes enraged. but he doesn't scare you.

you walk closer to him, entertained by the way she avoids you like the plague, and presses his back into the refrigerator. you want to lash out more, to scream at him until your throat is sore, to whisper all the little flaws about him you've noticed over the past year that are driving everyone away, but you won't.

"i hope it makes you feel like the heap of shit you are. goodnight, moore."

when abby feels you snuggle into her later that night, feeling your hands squeeze into her stomach from behind you, she asks if everything is ok, and you press a kiss to her cheek and tell her to go back to sleep.

the next morning it's christmas eve, and everyone is in the dining room eating breakfast and talking about how everyone somehow has no plans when you make a suggestion for the day.

"i wanna go hit the slopes today."

you swear most of them look at you like you've grown another head that just started trying to sing the tequila song.

manny continues chewing his eggs before giving you a thumbs up, but you can tell he's secretly been waiting for this. after you first met he asked you if you've ever skied again after your accident and then dropped it when you gave him a death glare. but since you've gotten closer he knows more about how it's not that you can't ski, but almost as if there was a mental block that stopped you from doing so.

"uhm...sure. i can see if we can do that. are you sure you want to?" abby rests her arms on the table and leans her head into yours, trying to give a sense of privacy for your answer.

"i'm not made of glass, abby. it's about time i get back out there. its the only way i'll known for sure about what my dad said."

"what'd your dad say?" mel speaks up from the opposite side of the table, her hand rested over owen's on top of the wood.

you straighten your shoulders. "some stupid doping scandal got the olympics postponed, and my dad said if i wanter he thinks he could get me back in shape by then to apply."

"holy shit! i mean, it's your choice obviously, but that's cool as hell. i think you should do it." jordan exclaims, sipping on his orange juice through a straw.

"wait, what about your leg? you've only had problems with it a couple of times, but is it alright enough to go ski?" nora asks. she was the one who besides abby you've told the most about your skiing problems, and once took you to the pharmacy to pick up your pain meds like it was no hassle.

"it's better if i don't push myself too much, but the blue and reds should be a piece of cake."

you look at abby, and even though she has no idea why you've had this sudden change of heart, she can hear the subtle excitement in your voice and nods her head at you with a smile.

thanks to everyone always waking up at the break of dawn for some reason, you're checked in to the slopes and ready to go only three hours later. jordan and manny even decided to join you and try their hands at the bunny slopes, the rest of the group deciding to find somewhere to sit and relax while they watched you all.

"mama please, you're embarrassing me." manny groans while you tilt his head from side to side to make sure all of the straps for his helmet and goggles are secure. you weren't about to have him getting a concussion and blaming you for bringing him here or the workers for their sloppy job.

"no one knows better ski safety than me. now shush, I'm almost done."

once you were finished you gently smacked his head and headed to the side of where the slope ends, abby beaming at you from over the rail. she was wearing this cute little beanie she bought for the trip and this all-black bomber jacket that made her look so much bigger than she already is.

"hello? babe, did you hear what i said?" abby's hand waves in front of your face bringing you back to focus. you slowly blink and she shakes her head. "you're so weird."

"again, i get that from you."

"whatever." her gloved hand rests on your face and she brings you closer so she can press a soft kiss onto your lips. when she tries to pull away but your arms are wrapping around her neck and pulling her body into yours, starting an impromptu makeout session before jordans wolf call yanks you out of it.

her fingers reach up to push a strand of hair back into your helmet. "are you sure you'll be ok up there? if your leg hurts just pull over to the side and i'll try to come up and help you-"

you cut her off with another kiss. "i'll be fine, princess. don't worry about me. just worry about all those losers I'm gonna show up."

she laughs that cute and loud little laugh of hers and sends you off, waving to you multiple times when she sees you go up the lift.

once you are at the top you go over everything again, making sure all of your equipment is snug, the track in front of you is good, and your skis are tight and before you know it you're standing at the top of the slope breathing heavy and feeling like you're about to have a panic attack.

your head feels like it's on fire and you swear that you are close to passing out when someone taps on your shoulder. you turn around and it's some teen by his face unobstructed by the goggles, a go-pro attached to his helmet.

"hey, sorry if i'm being annoying but, you're y/n l/n right?"

you nod, hoping he can't see the strained expression on your face.

"i just wanted to say that i think you're like, so cool. i saw that video of you training for the super g at thirteen and it changed my life, seriously."

your head felt a bit better at the memory. the adrenaline you got skiing down slopes at top speeds and then dodging the flags your father asked the owners if he could put on the track to help you train. they were nice people, and even let you pick what flags you wanted. a mix of pink and black.

"thank you. i swore that training took everything out of me. but at least i didn't have to worry about how i was doing in algebra."

he laughs and bobs his head. he clears his throat before slightly hopping on his two feet.

"you ok, kid?"

"yes, yeah, i just... ya see i have this youtube channel where i post videos of me riding down the slopes, helping beginners, trying the harder slopes, and stuff like that." he taps the go bro on his helmet. "and i was wondering if you wanted to do like, a friendly little race? i don't know, you don't have to i know you're leg is probably still healing, i can just go if you wa-"

"i'll do it."

his eyes bulge, surprised at your answer. you have to admit you're slightly surprised too. you weren't planning on doing anything more than inching your way down the intermediate slope a few times, but the memory of the super g has energy suddenly rushing through you. besides, it'd be a nice distraction from everything else. your dad. owen. you.

when you both get to the edge of the slope, you let him know you'll give him a twenty-second head start before you follow. he nods, and a few seconds later you're skiing for the first time in years.

and it feels fucking great.

at the speeds you are going the wind is whipping across the unprotected parts of your face, the stinging cold keeping you focused as you turn around trick hills and get your legs used to the feeling of slight strain. but your legs feel fine, and that makes you feel even better.

before long you can see the kid ahead of you and your friends in the close distance, nora's red coat bobbing up and down as she cheers for you. only five seconds after you pass your fan and can hear his slight spluttering before you're bringing your skis to a stop and the ice is flying from underneath them.

your heart is pounding as the kid, who tells you his name is aidan, thanks you for 'kicking his ass, i swear it'll get so many views". he tells you he'll tag you, and you do him one better by saying you'll follow him back and you're a little scared he's about to have a heart attack before he leaves to check in with his parents.

"oh my god oh my god oh my god! that was so fucking cool! i really thought you were gonna wipe out there for a second but I'm glad you didn't." leah squeezes your body in a hug rocking you from side to side. "are you gonna go again? if you do i swear I'll put on some skis and go down the bunny slope."

you throw your head back with a laugh, imagining leah slowly going down the snow while pizza and french frying her skis. you bask in the compliments given to you by nora who was watching the whole time and manny who tells you he successfully completed the green slope with no falls or bumps. you feel the urge to talk to abby, to have her tell you she's proud of you when you see her near one of the equipment cabins, talking to owen.

"are you gonna go again or do you wanna stop for the day?"

you look at nora with a grin. "yeah, i'll go again."

later that night, after a few more hours of racing your friends and even seeing a few more fans who recognized you, even one lady who said she remembered you based on your form, everyone is headed back to the house to end the day after getting some drink from the community lodge

for some reason, abby hasn't talked to you since, and based on what you saw you're preparing for the damn worst. a small part of you knows you might be overreacting, that there's no way she would fall for the bullshit more had to say to her, but her avoidance of you isn't helping that little part take charge.

like she could read your mind, she's on your tail and following you into your bedroom, taking off her clothes as you do the same but still no word before you head into the shower. under the heat of the water, you rest your head on the wall and close your eyes to try to center yourself. you know abby, you know how much she's done for you. owen wasn't going to get in the way of that and you refused to let him.

you dry yourself off, brush your teeth, moisturize your body, and decide not to put on your pajamas and just this cute robe abby bought for you before leaving the bathroom. after turning off the lights you stop in your tracks, abby sitting on the side of the bed and staring at you.

your feet slowly carry you closer to her before she rolls her eyes and tugs you onto her lap. your face is neutral, even when you can feel the bulge inside of her sweatpants. you tilt your head and she replicates it.

"let me guess, you got an attitude again?"

"you're a fucking hypocrite."

"wh?" her face jerks back in confusion. "what are you talking about?"

"don't play fucking dumb with me abigail. biggest personal growth moment for me in forever and you spend it talking to your damn ex, who if you didn't catch it is still hung up on you, by the way."

"i know, just let me explain-"

"no, i don't want to know. if you're just doing all this as some fucked up way to let me down gently i swear to god-"

you get cut off when one of her hands moves from your waist to cover your mouth, her eyes drooping when you nip at her palm.

"stop it. you know i wouldn't do something that shitty to you, please stop being so paranoid." she waits to gauge your reaction before she decides that you aren't likely to cut her off, softly rubbing at the skin under your eye. "please don't cry."

"im not gonna cry."

"just wanted to make sure. because i care about you, and that's what i was letting owen know that when he was being a jealous dick about you skiing earlier. told him I'm this close to kicking him to the curb for good."

"wait really? what'd he say? i bet he was pissed when i skied over that stuck stump, probably wishes i rode over it and fucking broke my back."

"jeez, you really do despise him." she shakes her head, smiling and rubbing her hands on your thighs. "but yes, he was wondering if maybe now that you were fine to ski you were trying to upstage me or something."

"and do you? and why were you ignoring me?"

she sighed. "literally the opposite. you're just...so amazing, and funny, and talented, and i just know soon you'll be this olympian and wont wanna deal with me and my dumb ex anymore."

"i mean, i am amazing you're right about that," you brag, giggling when she pinches you. "but i'd deal with anything to be with you. i don't even have the words. i wouldn't have gotten on that slope without you always pushing me, despite how annoying i may find it."

abby's' face is beaming and suddenly she's kissing you like you're air, leaning back into the bed so you can hover over her. she stops kissing you just to move her ministrations to all over your face, repeating little 'i love you's' as she does so, reveling in the little hums that leave your throat.

"ok, are we done being sappy so we can fuck now?" your question ends in a squeak when her palm slaps your ass. you look at her with a glare and she just dopily smiles at you, gripping your hips to flip you underneath her.

"y'know, owen and mel picked the room right next to ours." she grinds her hips into yours, the friction of the strap rubbing against you heightened since your robe was riding up to show her bare cunt.

"god, you want me to be loud, don't you?"

"mmhm." she grins as her hand moves down to push the band of her pants down, the feeling of the toy grinding out forcing you to bite your lip to hide your moan, embarrassed by how quickly she could make you want it. her thumbs moves to pull your lip from between your teeth.

she continues humping you until she can see you're wet enough to slide in, looking for your nod to push the strap into you, groaning as it just slides in.

"y/n, we barely did any foreplay-"

"shut up, please shut up."

for some reason she takes that as a sign to start thrusting, reveling in your moans as they finally start to pick up volume. you try to bite the back of your hand when she pulls it away, holding it in hers and holding it above your head. the action is so sweet it almost makes you cry, instead thrusting your head up to press a sweet kiss to her lips.

"mm, love when you're all sweet like this honey. wanna stay like this forever, love you so fuckin much i swear to god." she accentuates her last couple of words with short but harsh thrusts that knock the breath out of your lungs. your orgasm is fast approaching at this rate, and she can tell by the way your eyes are fluttering and your hand is squeezing hers.

"you gonna cum? huh? gonna cum all over me baby?" you nod your head, not trusting the words and sounds that are coming out of your throat. she moves her hand down to rub at your clit and suddenly your stomach is pulsing and your orgasm is hitting you like a truck, abby's following after yours as she's groaning into your neck and thrusting harder to grind the base of the strap into her clit.

it takes a minute for both of you to calm down, the bliss overtaking the both of you.

"was...was that loud enough?" you whisper and feel her silent laugh on top of you, rubbing your leg over the back of hers.

she pushes her head up enough to look you in the eyes, and you really regret asking the question because she's got that dumb-ass smile back on her face and shaking her head.

only a few minutes later she's got you on all fours, leg propped up as she forces your hips back and forth on her dick. and then after that she makes you ride her, and then the position she knows you're obsessed with: her fucking you while standing up.

"a-abs! abby! oh my god!" your throat is sore as her fingers grip the meat of your thighs, the force of her bouncing you and thrusting her hips up getting you closer and closer to euphoria. your eyes are closed and your head is tilted back, doing anything to avoid the way she's looking at you like you're some goddess she's been blessed to witness.

"just a little bit more baby. cmon, tell me how much you love it."

"i do! fuck abby, love it so much."

"love what, honey? you can do it, know you can. god you're so perfect."

your mind is hazy with the feeling of the strap hitting that sensitive spot inside of you with every bounce of your hips and her words that you barely even register her demand, groaning when she bites at one of your tits that have been bouncing in her face.

"tell me what you love. please, please tell me."

"nghh, love you abby! fuckin love your dick so much!"

"that's it, thaaat's it pretty girl. let everyone you're mine, that i'm yours-"

you're pretty sure she kept talking after that, but the rush of your orgasm deafens every sound and lights your body on fire, only able to feel the high and the cum leaking down your thighs. you go in and out of consciousness but come back to when you're both back in bed, abby pulling you onto her chest and she rubs a soft hand down your back.

"love you." you mumble, snuggling into the warmness of her.

"i love you too, y/n."

"'m sorry about earlier."

"me too. promise that i'll tell you whenever i'm feeling down. or when i'm dealing with a douche."

"me too."

you get the best night's sleep you've had in years.

in the morning everyone seems ecstatic for the holiday, ready to share their gifts with each other after breakfast. you decide to join in helping to cook, which gets you a crazy accusation from jordan saying your helping is just 'sitting on the counter so abby has something to look at while you drink a mimosa". whatever. abby is standing between your thighs and talking to you about her new workout schedule when owen and manny walk into the room, manny bidding you a sly 'good morning' with a smirk as owen grabs water from the fridge.

"hey owes, can you hand me one?" abby asks, her fingers drumming on your thigh as she uses the other to catch the bottle he tosses to her with a polite smile. your eyes are following the action suspiciously before abby is for some reason keeping a grip on the middle of the bottle as she opens it so the liquid spurts onto a bit of her shirt.

"ugh, abs! wait a second." you start to move off the counter when she holds your hips down.

"its fine, babe. i'm used to things squirting on me, anyway."

your face scrunches up as you smack her in the shoulder, your face hot as you hear jordan and manny cackling like hyenas and owen chugs down his water. abby just presses a loud kiss on your cheek.

other than your friends constantly teasing you, nora whispering a 'love shack' in your ear when she walks behind you in the living room, the day really is perfect. when the sun sets everyone is exchanging the gifts they got for each other. leah got jordan some necklace he's had his eyes on, manny bought mel some earmuffs after hers broke a month ago. some of them teased you for having surprisingly thoughtful gifts despite having a heart of only half-thawed ice, making you only reply that you weren't past taking the gifts back.

and then you open the gift abby got you and nearly cry; a custom snow globe, inside two mini figures dancing on a mountain of snow, one wearing skis and the other wearing skates. the she almost does the same with the corny 'cooking for two' book you bought her and the limited edition version of her favorite novel.

its a night full of warmth and laughter, and once it ends you find yourself standing out on the balcony, looking out at the lit lights of the village and the lifts on the slopes. your phone is in your hand and you open the text messages to your dad.

tell everyone i said merry christmas. its going to take me time to mentally heal enough to train. but if you're willing to do it with me then i'm in.

"hey, it's fucking freezing out here." abby opens the slide-apart door and comes up beside you, wrapping her arms around you to look out at the view with you. "are you ok?"

you sigh, turning to admire her. the redness of her cheeks, the tiny snowflakes in her hair. the way she's looking at you.

you nod your head.

"i'm on top of the world."

fics keep getting longer to overcompensate allah take me now. spent so much of yesterday aka my birthday writing this omg but it was so fun to write a more developed reader. uhhh idk stream cobra by megan.

[marchsfreakshow]

A Drug For His Heart [Kai Anderson]

Rare Kai fluff? I suppose? / A bit of angst

What happens when an incel loser in his moms basement meets another loser who lives on Reddit every single day?

I love this idea. I hate that I got this idea when I was in town, so. (Hints of stalker!reader & stalker!Kai)

No one's perspective

⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷

The message came up and it almost shocked him.

— ur Kai right? The top mod in this sub?

— yea. Why do you ask?

— Cause I need mod too.

You argued back and forth stupidly about being a moderator in a silly sub-Reddit you were both in. If you weren't sure you were a loser before, this definitely dug it into you. I mean, really? Arguing about being given moderator in a sub-Reddit because you thought you needed it?

Stupid.

Weeks, months went by as quick as lightning. Somehow getting into a loser argument caused you to start messaging Kai every day with ideas. He was confused. He was obsessed. He didn't know why you were giving him attention. But he liked it. He liked having someone rely on him.

— u live in this town don't u?

— um. Yes I do.

— let me come over. We should discuss this idea together in person.

What? You wanted to meet? Him? Were you serious?

— are you serious?

— wouldn't ask if I wasn't being serious.

Right. Okay then.

After a bit of back and forth, Kai hesitantly put in his address. You smiled once you saw the address. He was just where you thought he was, and it was 5 minutes away from you. Perfect. Somehow, your conversation ended there for the day. Getting your point across, then leave eachother alone for the hours left in the day. Going back to being a stupid moderator for something that didn't matter in the real world.

— promise ur free today?

— yea. How far are you?

— right now? Leavin my house.

— oh. Okay.

Oh he was so stupid. You only had to walk down the road and there you were. So, you took your time. Every step taking a million years. Kai's heart was racing. Having a random person visit? Winter probably wouldn't say anything if she opened the door. "Who are you?"

"Kai's friend. Come to visit him." What? A pretty one like you? Visiting...Kai? Tell Winter why she didn't believe you. Those silent words were obvious through her look. Furrowed eyebrows and pursed lips in a thin line. "What? We decided I'd come over so we can talk about our ideas for a subreddit we both mod in."

Jesus you really were a loser. "Sure. Come in...he's in the basement." Following the girl's footsteps, you eventually saw the man who'd you gained a decent friendship with. Kai turned around once he heard the steps, and saw you. You...you weren't what he was expecting. "They said they're here to visit you." Winter mentioned, glancing at you before walking back up the stairs.

The stare between you and Kai went on for about 5 minutes. An awkward, disbelieving silence. "...why are you here? Who are you?" You mentioned your user, staring at him with unemotional eyes. "No you aren't."

Sitting down next to him, you brought your phone out and showed Kai your Reddit profile. So, it was you. Fuck you were beautiful. There was no way you were the one begging for mod and constantly giving him stupid, worthless ideas for whatever. How on earth was this... gorgeous person, on a site like Reddit. "..damn."

"damn?"

"Damn."

The two of you started to talk about whatever it was you were there for. He was addicted already. Were you sure you were the one behind the screen? Everything about you. The way your eyes lit up when Kai gave you a dumb idea. The way you adjusted your hoodie every so often. The way your loose trousers were sat at just the perfect angle. The one for him. Every part of you was needed in Kai's heart. Every part. Why were you so perfect?

And you ended up on top of him. His hands hesitantly placed on your back. So nervous. So cute. Neither of you really knew how to kiss, but you got it eventually as you continued sort of, pressing your lips together, hoping something would happen. Both of you untouched, finding some way to experience those feelings together. That's all it was. Experimenting.

— can we do that again?

— what, makeout? Yeah sure.

— I did good then?

— well I think so. I'll come over like, Wednesday. Week before I move.

— wait what?

Wait what? You were moving? No! No. Oh no no no...Kai definitely didn't want that. Having you lay on top of him, silently looking at stupid shit on R/ 50/50. Even if it was only yesterday (for 4 hours); it was heaven. A heaven he didn't want to let go of. Ever. Oh fuck this. He needed you. You weren't allowed to just drop that bombshell on him, what the fuck?

But, you left him silent for the night. Not really giving him another explanation. Well that was a bit shitty of you. He wanted to know. Had to know. Why were you moving?? Did you see him just to say hello and prove you were real, before possibly moving all the way across the country?!

Kai couldn't sleep that night. He only wanted you. Physically. Emotionally. In every way a person could want another. His dreams of you ended up in him rutting against his sheets. Holding the fabric between his legs unconsciously, whimpering in his sleep. Whimpering and whispering your name. Well...online name. He didn't know your real name still.

— why the fuck are you moving? We haven't even fucked yet.

— what? Just because we made out once doesn't mean we're suddenly allowed to fuck.

— no. Come on. Please. Don't move. Please don't move. I need you.

Why did those words tug at your heart? I mean, sure you wanted to kiss Kai again, but his desperation for you was...a bit unnerving. You'd only met once.

— where do live? How far are you from me?

— I'll come see you. We can make out again. Spend every day together before you leave. Please.

Hesitantly, you typed your address in for Kai. And not 5 minutes later, you heard your doorbell go. Muffled, but you heard it. Kai. Your mother answered the door, spoke to the man in front of her for a few minutes. You couldn't make out any of the words that they spoke to eachother. "Hey.."

"Hey.."

Kai sat himself down next to you, your laptop playing some random YouTube essay video. Looking at eachother, you then found yourself on his lap again. Kai got a bit more confident with his hands, despite this only being the second time you two connected your lips together. Truly unable to stop himself from becoming obsessed with you. Your taste was invasive on his lips, and it was all he wanted for the next few days. Hands stuck to your waist, your hands on his neck. Clothes shakily discarded. Whispered praises.

— are you sure that was your first time? You were so, tight. Felt good.

— I wouldn't really lie about being a virgin.

— I'm gonna miss you. So bad. Let me have your number. So I can send you me when you miss me.

— um...okay.

— you're amazing.

Two weeks into your move, Kai bombarded you with wonders about your new place. A whole new state, and new things to explore. You did reply with the amount of fervour Kai gave you, but it did get tiring eventually. Like more of a chore than anything.

You eventually found yourself feeling tired as soon as Kai sent you a good morning message. You eventually started to drift apart. You eventually found yourself a job, getting out of the house more, and not spending your time on Reddit anymore.

Kai's heart was practically torn once he saw that you didn't care for him as much anymore. You didn't use him for sex or a relationship, he knew that much. But god he wanted more.

Is it possible to suffer withdrawals from not being around your favourite person? Kai's heart raced at all times when he was thinking of you.

Just fucking his fist to that Polaroid of you on top of him, desperate to hear your voice. Desperate to see that 'not delivered' turn into 'sent. Delivered. Read.' But he doubted that would happen. You hadn't contacted him on anything. He couldn't find your Reddit profile anymore.

Why? Why did you have to break his heart that way? Kai didn't know what he did...

He just wanted you.

⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷

Tags: @babygorewhore / @taintandviolent / @oceanblvd111 / @nahoyasboyfriend / @slutforgarlogan / @briaroftheroses @am3ricanh0rrorwh0re /. @evanpeterspeter / @feefymo / @fear-is-truth / @lacucarachapisser / @marchsfreak / @saintlucretia / @jazz-berry / @t8-ak47 / @lemoniiiiiii / @xrag-dollx

[seattlesellie]

anything but me; part 1 ♡

pairings: abby anderson x reader, ellie williams x reader

warnings: smut, angst!, mentions of marijuana, secret relationship

synopsis: you, abby, ellie and friends are in a cabin in the middle of a snowstorm. what could possibly ever go wrong?

The landscape, once familiar and inviting, transforms into a hostile and treacherous terrain.

It’s rapid, forming deep, unyielding drifts. it was a relentless onslaught, a tempestuous manifestation of nature's fury.

A snowstorm.

And then a warm, messy kiss, tongue pressing right on the pulse of your neck.

“We can’t-“ You whispered. Shallow breaths, your heart was racing like a runaway train. Pounding rhythm echoed in your ears, palms grew clammy, and beads of sweat formed on your forehead.

It was snowing outside.

And you felt like the middle of August.

“Why?” the blonde whispered, her minty breath caressing your temple. Her heart was beating just as fast, you could feel it against your chest. Her arms were wrapped tightly around your waist, pulling you closer and closer with every kiss. You had to break it off.

“Because-“ you whispered erratically. Fuck. She sucked the skin on your neck, suctioning it in between her plump lips. Your cunt was pulsing, she would have mocked you if she knew. “Already?” she’d say, a soft smile creeping on her face.

“Abby-“ you whimpered, as she brought her large hand to cup your clothed cunt. Did she just read your mind? She parted two of her fingers on the delicate spot, just like she spread you wide before divulging in with her tongue. Puffy pussy lips spread open, her favorite.

There was no time for teasing, or for mocking. She needed to fuck you right now.

“Ca- I cant- I cant” you whispered. You almost screeched when she softly patted your clothed cunt. You were ready for a slap.

“Yeah you can…” She grabbed your hair and pulled. “My best girl” she whispered, a glint of cockiness in her eyes. She knew what she was doing. Her praises always paralyzed you completely, completely fucking your brain’s capacity of understanding the outer world out of you. Her needy, nasty girl.

But you really couldn’t. Not right now.

It almost hurt when you had to peel her off of you, to slap her hand away from where you needed her the most.

She pouted. Abby pouted.

“I’m sorry… I- Ellie wanted to talk, she practically begged me to. I told her id come to her room at 10, It’s 10:05” you apologized, eyebrows furrowing in anguish.

“No- No-“ Abby kissed your cheek, trying to catch her breath.

“Don’t apologize, It’s okay, I promise.” She gave you a look, a look that said, I trust you. And you’re mine. And I know how bad you need me. Chivalry was alive and thriving. Ellie should take a masterclass, taught by Abby Anderson herself.

“I’ll be right here, yeah?” She whispered softly, planting a soft kiss on the tip of your nose. It drove you truly crazy sometimes, how a rough kiss was followed by a delicate one, a slap by a caress. Her good girl, and then her slut, her princess, and then her bitch.

“Mhm” you nodded, doe eyed. She hypnotized you. Dragging your feet, forcing them to walk away from her seemed like the worst thing you could ever imagine doing.

But you weren’t an asshole. You weren’t Ellie.

The cabin stood tall and sturdy, nestled amidst a winter wonderland, with its wooden exterior contrasting against the pristine white surroundings. You were dragging your feet, and god, the stickiness in your panties didn’t help.

You hesitated before reaching for the doorknob. With a creak, the door swung open.

“Hey” the auburn haired girl said dryly, as if she didn’t fidget with her fingernails while drawing aggressively just five minutes ago. She was trying to contain herself. Be normal. Just talk to her.

She was wearing a white tank top. It was snowing outside.

“Youre not… cold?” you asked, without even greeting her. You, the thoughtful person that you are.

“M’fine, I turned on the heater” She sniffed. She wasn’t fine, and the heater was definitely off. Her nose was red, eyes puffy, and god, that room smelled like Ellie. Your Ellie.

Was your Ellie.

Before entering her room, you decided you weren’t going to let her win this. See, Ellie had a habit of… dancing around important subjects. She was a master of distraction, knew exactly what to tell you, where to touch you, how to get you to crumble beneath her. She wasn’t evil, she never did it on purpose. The weight of her inner demons pressing upon her were a suffocating presence. They suffocated her, at first. Then, they creeped up on you too. She would yell, and demand you to stay quiet, to shut up. She would argue, and then ignore you, and then argue some more. She would scream at you to leave, and then beg you to let her in. You couldn’t do it anymore.

Thats why you left.

You didn’t know whether to sit or not, so you balanced your weight between your feet. You scratched your chin with your shoulder. Abby. Her scent lingered upon your skin. The cologne, like a silent caress, delicate pine, left an indelible mark upon your being. Your face flushed. Maybe Ellie’s room really was hot. Maybe she was right to wear that top.

You fixed your hair. Focus.

“What did you wanna talk to me about?” You questioned. Ellie was stood in front of you, avoiding your gaze. If she looked - she didnt know what she’d do.

“I don’t know” She said dryly, voice raspier than usual. It smelled like weed. She must have smoked before you entered.

“You don’t know?” you questioned. You tried to avoid rolling your eyes. It was so typical, so Ellie. Of course she didn’t know, she never fucking does.

“I- Can you sit down? Why are you acting like you don’t know me?” Ellie's voice sliced through the air with a tinge of annoyance, her words dripping with frustration. Every syllable carried a distinct edge, as if each letter resented being uttered.

She signaled you to sit on the bed.

You obliged.

She sat next to you, keeping the distance. Funny, how just a month ago, she would have begged you to sit on her lap. She would have pampered you with kisses. That was then, and this is now.

2 strangers.

You felt a lump forming down your throat. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

Ellie stared at the floor. She glanced over to you, and then shifted on the bed. The forrest green duvet emitted a soft rustle, like a gentle sigh escaping its fabric embrace.

She took a deep breath.

Thats what those Youtube videos taught her. “Meditation for beginners” was probably the worst one. “How to deal with anger issues”, yeah, she binge watched 7 of those videos.

“I wanted to ask you…”

You glanced at her. She was biting the inside of her lips, blood was forming. The taste of metal washed over her tongue.

“Fuck-“ She whispered.

“I need you to explain. I need to know why you left.”

your gaze froze, breath catching in your throat. Ellie's question pierced through your defenses, demanding an answer.

“I’m not doing this right now” you said, ready to get up and leave. It’s not like you didn’t expect it, but for some reason, you just couldn’t.

Ellie looked at you with disbelief. As you got up, halfway there, Ellie grabbed your hand forcefully. Before you knew it, you were sat back down on the bed. Your breath hitched. You should have walked away.

“I said I’m not doing this with you.” You made eye contact with her for the first time. Her eyebrows were scrunched, jaw clenched. Your Ellie.

“Are you not even going to apologize? I mean, fuck-“ Ellie's eyes narrowed, frustration burning within her. Her gaze intensified, her pupils dilated.

Apologize?

“Fuck- Apologize?” you laughed in disbelief.

“Holy fucking shit- Wow” you glared at her.

“You are un-fucking believable”

[writerslittlelibrary]

Well, fuck

masterlist apocalypse au masterlist

part 1 part 2 part 3

summary: infected had been roaming the earth for years, and you, being born after the outbreak, just had to be special. what happens when a certain redhead finds out about your secret? (based on tlou part 2)

pairing: Natasha x teen reader, Abby Anderson x reader

warnings: angst, guns, fighting, injuries

genre: angst

words: 2710

a/n: finally a part two! I’m sorry for the long wait, and I hope you enjoy :)  

You do not have my permission to repost, copy or translate my work

 |——————————— ⴵ ———————————|

Abby had been moving around Seattle for a long while now. She had left the wolves after realising they were just a bad as the fireflies had once been. She had discovered that Isaac had been knowingly kidnapping Scar children in the hopes of making the parents turn themselves in. None of them ever did, and Isaac had ended up killing the Scar children each time. 

Abby strongly disagreed with Isaac’s method, even though Scars were a pain in the ass, and she had left the WLF. 

After leaving the WLF, it didn’t take long for her to be captured by a group of scars. They had jumped her out of nowhere, and they had tried to kill her by hanging her and cutting her guts out. Before that could happen, however, one Scar child was brought in by the other Scars. 

Apparently they had betrayed their own people, just like Abby had done. 

When the elder Scar gave the order to ‘cut the wings’ of the Scar child, the other Scars managed to break one of the girls arms before an arrow pierced their neck, killing them. 

The eldest Scar reached for the hammer in an attempt to kill the Scar girl, yet before she managed to do so, Abby was able to reach herself forward, holding the elder Scar in a chokehold with her thighs, successfully killing her.

A little boy ran from a hiding spot, helping the Scar girl up. After, he had cut Abby loose, allowing her to breath once more. 

Abby and the two Scar children moved on together, helping the other as they were trying to get away from the remaining Scars in the area still hunting them. The oldest Scar girl introduced herself as Yara, and the younger Scar boy introduced himself as Lev. 

After a day or two Yara had become violently ill. 

The arm that she had broken was red and swollen, and it was hurting Yara more than she could handle. It didn’t take long before Abby realised that the bone was shattered, and if the arm didn’t come off, Yara would die. 

Unfortunately, Abby was not a doctor, nor was Lev. She had no idea as to how to save Yara. 

Abby went over all the options in her head, mentally beating herself up over the fact that she did not pay attention when her father tried to teach her medical stuff. 

After a long debate, and talking with Yara and Lev, they decided that Abby should try and take the arm off, even though the risk was high. If the arm was not soon amputated, Yara would die. 

And so, Abby had gone to the hospital, gathering all the supplies she needed before heading back to Yara and Lev. 

The surgery was surprisingly successful, and Yara was thriving after her arm had been taken off. The three of them were now living in Seattle, trying to find a way out of the city without being spotted by either Wolves or Scars. 

-------------------------------------------------------------

You groaned slightly as you woke up, squinting your eyes to adjust to the light that was coming in through the upper windows. 

“You’re a deep sleeper…” you heard someone say from beside you. 

You groaned once more as you sat up, looking to your right to find Natasha sitting there, cleaning her gun. 

“How long have you been awake?” you asked as you got up from the couch, reaching for your jacket and putting it on. You shivered slightly at the coldness of the Seattle winter. Even though the winter was nearly over, and spring was soon to start, the cold breeze was undeniable. 

“A few hours. I’m a pretty light sleeper, and patrols moved along this theatre multiple times already,” Natasha explained as she finished cleaning her gun, putting it back in the holster on her thigh. 

You frowned at that, glancing towards the door, seeing a chair had been put against it in a way that made it impossible to enter from the outside. 

“Don’t worry, it’s nothing new,” Natasha explained as she stood up. 

“Do they move past here often? And are they Scars or Wolves?” You asked.

“Usually Scars. They patrol this area quite often, but they always leave the theatre alone for some reason. Too much old world stuff, probably,” Natasha explained, reaching into her bag and handing you something to eat.

“Here you go. You should eat something, we had quite the day yesterday.” 

You nodded as you reached for the energy bar, thanking Natasha and eating it quickly. 

“So, I know you’re totally not looking for someone, but if you are, I was thinking of maybe moving towards the tv station. I heard some chatter over the radio saying trespassers had been spotted, and I figured it might be my sister, or you mystery person,” Natasha teased as she reached towards her bag, picking it up and putting it on her shoulders. 

“You’re subtle,” you remarked as you followed her actions, picking up your own bag. 

“How far from here is the tv station?” you asked Natasha as you followed her towards the door, waiting for her to remove the chair so you could leave. 

“It’s about a day’s walk from here, but I’m sure we’ll be fine. We can find some place to haul up there if we have to,” Natasha explained as she carefully opened the door, checking the surroundings thoroughly before stepping aside, motioning you to go first. 

You carefully left the building, watching as Natasha pulled the door close, grabbing a key ring from her pocket that held a bunch of keys. 

After Natasha used one of the keys to lock the door, she put the keys back in her pocket, starting to move towards the other buildings before stopping, pointing to the tall buildings in the distance. 

“That’s where we’re headed. The tv station should be around those other tall buildings,” Natasha pointed out. 

“It’s not close…” you stated as you grabbed your gun, counting your bullets before putting it back into your belt. “I’m very low on ammo. Once encounter with either Scars, Wolves or infected and I’m out,” you explained.

Natasha nodded. “Me too. We should find some place to stock up on our supplies,” Natasha stated. 

You two started moving, heading towards an old street full of shops. While moving through a few, finding multiple bullets and other sorts of useful supplies, you met Natasha outside the other shops. You both decided to check different shops, wanting to move towards the tv station as quick as possible before you lost too much daylight. 

When you and Natasha we done in the shops, you decided to start moving again. It was a long and difficult walk to get to the tv station. 

You two had to get around a ridiculous amount of water, and with the increased amount of Scar and Wolves patrols, most likely because of the spotted trespasser, it wasn’t easy avoiding the water and the people, not to mention the fact that the roads towards the tv station were very rough and messy. Many cars blocked your way, hindering you from moving on the same road for longer than a mile or so.

After walking for about half the day, and manoeuvring through multiple building due to the roughed up roads, you were finally starting to see the buildings increasing. 

The tv station was towards the heart of the city, and so the building increasing signalled that you were getting closer. However, when you were finally starting to get more hopeful, you heard gunshots coming from the distance, 

You turned towards Natasha, seeing her grabbing her gun and being more alert of your surroundings. 

You reached for your gun as well, making sure it was loaded as you followed Natasha, staying close behind her and you two moved forward. Unfortunately, the gun shots were coming from the direction you were going in, and as you didn’t have many choices but to either move forward or go back, you were pretty much forced to move towards the gun shot noises. 

After walking for about half an hour, you started hearing Clicker noises, and not just a few. 

A lot of Clicker noises could be heard, indicating that there was most likely a hoard moving towards your location. 

Natasha grabbed your hand as she dragged you towards one of the stores in the street, using her body weight to slam the door open, helping you inside before entering herself. 

It would be the best to try and wait there until the hoard would pass. 

-------------------------------------------------------------

Abby reached towards Lev as she pulled him down towards her hiding spot, wanting to stay hidden from the multiple Scars that were attacking them. 

Abby, Lev, and Yara had been moving through this particular area of the city for almost two days. It was fairly quiet and there didn’t seem to be many things to go wrong. However, as everyone knows, nothing can ever be easy in a world such as this one.

The group of three was jumped by multiple Scars, hitting Abby in her arm as they were moving through a certain street. 

Yara had fired multiple bullets to try and distract the multiple Scars attacking them, giving Lev enough time to bandage Abby’s arm in a messy way, hoping to stop the bleeding enough for them to finish the fight. 

After bandaging the wound quickly, Lev reached towards his bow, taking out several Scars before he was being fired at. 

Yara was in a hiding spot a little further from them, shooting with her gun as she did her best to stay hidden. Abby now reached for her own gun, using it to kill multiple Scars before the familiar sound of infected could be heard. 

When she turned to her left to see how badly they were screwed, she was able to spot multiple Clickers and Runners heading towards them. All the shooting must have drawn them out, Abby figured as she looked towards her own gun, soon realising the amount of bullets she had left would not be enough for the Scars and the infected. 

Abby whistled towards Yara, letting her know she was planning on running. 

Yara fired multiple shots, enough to make the Scars retreat to their hiding spots so that Yara could quickly run towards Lev and Abby, getting ready to run away from the infected with them.

The Scars quickly started shooting again, the fact that Infected were heading their way seemingly not bothering them much. 

However, when the Clickers started getting a little too close for comfort, even the Scars retreated towards higher ground, using the multiple buildings as coverage while Abby, Yara and Lev were left out on the street. 

“What are we gonna do?” Lev asked, looking up at Abby. 

“I don’t know. We have to try and run, go back the way we came,” Abby stated as she motioned towards the road they came from. 

“Aren’t we heading towards the tv station anymore?” Lev asked. 

“We have to get away from the Seraphites first, Lev. After that, we will find a different route to the tv station,” Yara explained, pulling Lev’s arm so he was standing in an upright position. 

“Let’s go,” Abby stated as she moved past Lev and Yara, leading the way as she ran towards the passage that they originally used to get onto the street. After helping Yara and Lev through, she stepped through herself, lifting the iron woven fence as she moved past it. 

However, when she went to move through the hole, her arm got caught on the iron fence, the bandage ripping off and the wound starting to bleed heavily once more. 

“Abby!” Lev yelled as he noticed the blood starting to pour.

“Leave it!” Abby ordered as she grabbed Lev’s hand, running through the street as she infected started increasing on the other side of the fence. They were with too many and their weight was starting to become too much for the fence to hold.

“Through here!” Yara yelled as she managed to get the door to a store open, pushing it open all the way to allow Lev and Abby to enter before entering herself, grabbing a led pipe that was laying on the ground, using it to barricade the door. 

However, once they were inside they did not have any time to take a breath, nor have any time to take care of Abby’s wound as they heard a gun load behind them.

They were not alone in the store. 

“Turn around,” a stern voice spoke, a gun being raised towards the group. 

Slowly, Abby, Yara and Lev turned around, Abby using her body to try and shield Lev and Yara a bit, pushing Lev behind her a bit more as she fully turned around.

“Well, fuck,”

-------------------------------------------------------------

“Abby?!” you spoke in surprise when the three figures had turned around. 

Abby fucking Anderson was standing in front of you, joined by two fucking Scars. She sure had changed. She had always been stronger than the average girl, but damn did she build some muscle since the last time you had seen her. 

“Y/n…?” Abby questioned is confusion. 

“What the fuck are you doing with Scars? You’re not a Scar, are you?” you asked hesitantly, scared it might be true.

“Seraphites.”

You heard a quiet voice speak from behind Abby.

“What?” 

“That’s… Lev…” Abby started. “Listen, we’re not with the Scars. They are actually the ones that are hunting us,” Abby explained. 

“Y/n, who are these people?” Natasha asked, slowly lowering her gun as she glanced towards you. 

“This is the person I was looking for…” you explained, al though you did not take your eyes off of Abby. “You changed… You look good…” you said, unsure of what to say. You wanted to find Abby. You wanted to help her. However, you didn’t really account for actually finding her, let alone knowing what to say. 

“What are you doing here?” Abby asked, looking at you a little sceptically. 

“I heard people were looking for you. I wanted to come and help,” you explained, now realising it sounded a little awkward. You truly did want to help Abby, yet you hadn’t seen her in so long. Why would anyone simply risk their life to follow a lead about someone you might have known who might have been in danger. 

“Is this your pretty friend you told us about? The special one?” you heard the boy behind Abby ask. 

Abby’s cheeks flushed a little when she nodded. 

You smiled. 

“As much as I’m enjoying this awkward reunion, we should try and move higher up. We should get away from the street,” Natasha spoke, breaking the silence. 

“I agree. It’s not safe to stay here,” Yara agreed.

“Maybe we should take care of that first,” you spoke as you motioned your head towards Abby’s arm, the blood still violently pouring out.

“Here,” Natasha said as she opened her backpack, reaching in it to grab a first aid kit. She then moved towards Abby, helping her sit down as she carefully unwrapped what was left of the make shift bandage. 

You moved towards Abby as well, kneeling on the ground next to her and opening the first aid kit. You grabbed some needle and thread before grabbing some rubbing alcohol, sterilising your equipment before pouring some of it on a cloth. 

“This will sting,” you told Abby as you gently grabbed her arm.

Her skin was warm, a big difference from your cold arm. Abby hissed as you moved the cloth over the wound, cleaning the blood away and sterilising it. 

After finishing, you carefully stitched her wound close, letting Natasha wrap it with a clean bandage after you were finished.

“Now we should move,” Yara said the moment you two were done, already walking towards the back of the building to see if there were any accessible stairs. Lev followed her, wanting to stay close to his big sister. 

Natasha stuffed the supplies back in her bag, standing up and going after Yara and Lev. You and Abby stayed behind, Abby getting up first before extending you her hand.

“So you think I’m pretty, huh?” 

Series tags: @echostinn @survivingthissh1t @wandanatlov3r @may-z3

Permanent tags: @marvelnatasha12346 @lesbionion @nova-kyle @darkstar225 @saraaahsstuff @marvelwomenarehot0 @screechcat @iheartjohansson @tia-thesimp @swaqcenix @karmasgxrl @marvel-lous3000 @mxximoffswifey @lorsstar1st

(If you'd like to be added or removed from a tag list, let me know <3)

[fear-is-truth]

please do some winter anderson and her girlfriend headcanons

𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐘 — winter anderson

pairing — winter anderson x f!reader﹒headcanons﹒fluff﹒tiny bit of angst

a/n: she’s literally my girlfriend

winter takes the lead in your relationship, but her dominance is always soft and nurturing. her brother has always been the dominant force in her life, controlling her actions and decisions, which leaves her feeling powerless. but with you, winter craves a taste of control in a way that feels empowering, not suffocating.

she seeks out a different dynamic with you, one where she feels safe and respected. she wants to experience a relationship where she has control, but also where both of you feel seen and heard. with you, she finds comfort in knowing she can be the stronger one while still being vulnerable.

her personality can be described as cat-like. sometimes, she’s cold and distant, curling up on the couch with scrolling through her phone, not wanting to talk. but deep down, she’s completely touch-starved. the moment you gently coax her into a hug or brush your fingers through her silvery hair, she melts.

after having sex, she breaks down and cries. of course she tries to hold it in, but the emotional intensity of finally feeling loved and safe overwhelms her. she’s not used to being cared for in such a tender way, and the release of emotions always brings her to tears. you hold her through it, brushing your fingers through her hair, and she clings to you like you’re her lifeline. she apologises profusely, but you reassure her that it’s okay to feel.

though winter tries to act confident in the relationship, she’s deeply insecure. she’s afraid that her brother’s influence and the bad things she’s done has broken her beyond repair, and sometimes she wonders if she’s worthy of your love. she’ll ask questions like, “why do you stay with me?” or “don’t you think you could do better?” you constantly remind her that she’s more than enough, but she struggles to believe it.

doesn’t ask for physical affection outright, but she craves it desperately. when you’re together, she’ll casually rest her hand on your leg or lean into your shoulder. if you initiate a hug, she immediately melts, her ice-queen façade fading as she buries herself into your warmth.

has a fierce protective streak when it comes to you. she doesn’t let anyone talk down to or hurt you, even kai. while she might not be able to stand up to him for herself, she becomes more assertive when it’s about your well-being.

winter is fiercely protective of you, especially when it comes to her brother. she’s terrified that he’ll pull you into his cult or try to manipulate you the way he manipulates her. constantly warns you to stay away from him and his “cause,” and you can see the fear in her eyes when she talks about it. the thought of losing you to kai haunts her, and she’ll do whatever it takes to shield you from his influence.

has an almost irrational fear of losing you. with everything in her life being so dysfunctional and chaotic—thanks to her parents and two fucked-up older brothers—she clings to the one constant source of peace: you. she’s terrified that kai or the cult will rip you away from her, and the thought of it makes her more protective and anxious, always making sure you’re safe when you’re not together.

often acts like she doesn’t need your affection, pretending to be indifferent. but when you’re busy or distracted, she’ll sulk, pout or subtly try to get your attention by leaning against you or making snarky comments. she won’t ask for it, but when you finally notice and give her the love she wants, she immediately lights up, even if she tries to hide her tiny smirk.

not a morning person, but she loves waking up next to you. she’ll pretend to be annoyed when you wake her up, but the truth is, she loves the way you softly stroke her hair or kiss her cheek in the mornings.

has a thing for playing with your hair. whether it’s braiding it, brushing it, dying it or just running her fingers through it while you’re talking, it calms her.

shows her affection by gifting you with small things she thinks you’ll like—a pretty bracelet, a vinyl record, or a specific nail polish. she never makes a big deal about it; she’ll just leave the items somewhere she knows you’ll find them, like a cat dropping off gifts for its owner.

she can get a little jealous, but she never admits it outright. instead, she’ll get clingy when she notices someone else flirting with you. she’ll make scathing remarks and shoot glares at anyone who seems too interested in you.

[writerseclipse1]

four seasons of love [in progress]

"if i didn't love you today, then you would've already been six feet under.”

a joel miller x reader original series by @writerseclipse1

warnings: fluff angst and eventual smut, canon-typical violence, descriptions of blood and gore, mentions of murder and death, double-crossing, guns and other weapons, revenge.

summary: in a world of beauty hidden by the unknown, joel forgets that the most beautiful roses have the sharpest of thorns.

in which: you come into jackson without pure intentions, mind set on leading joel to his ultimate demise, yet something about him changes your objectives. unconsciously, he has you prolonging the time he has left before he faces his biggest threat: abigail anderson.

<<< 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... >>>

■━■━■━■━■━■━■━■━■━■━■━■━■━■━■

book 1: spring in full bloom

ch. 1: a welcome arrival

ch. 2: help wanted

ch. 3: night out

book 2: in the summer heat

ch. 4: it's getting hot in here

ch. 5: under the sun's rays

ch. 6: the light of the truth

book 3: fall-ing in love

ch. 7: the fruits of your labor

ch. 8: ghosts of our past

ch. 9: the celebration

book 4: cold winter nights

ch. 10: baby, it's cold outside

ch. 11: absolution

ch. 12: cabin fever

epilogue

■━■━■━■━■━■━■━■━■━■━■━■━■━■━■

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ a/n: please fill this taglist form if you would like to be updated on the next chapters of this series! i hope u all enjoy the plot i have planned for u all :D

p.s. chapters will be labeled 18+ individually for those who still want to read but without the smut. thank you!

[skyesdaisys]

character's i write for

welcome to my list of characters where i have many of them from many fandoms that i write for

requests: temporarily closed

bolded names are ones i really wanna write for

yellowjackets (shauna shipman, jackie taylor, lottie matthews, taissa turner, van palmer, nat scatorccio, laura lee, callie sadecki)

dc titans (dick grayson, jason todd, kory anders, gar logan, donna troy, dawn granger, hank hall)

fear street (deena johnson, sam fraser, ziggy berman, cindy berman, kate schmidt, alice hart, simon kalivoda, tommy slater, young!nick goode)

teen wolf (scott mccall, stiles stilinski, isaac lahey, malia tate, kira yukimura, lydia martin, liam dunbar)

american horror story (violet harmon, kit walker, lana winters, zoe benson, madison montgomery, kyle spencer, misty day, cordelia goode, jimmy darling, tristan duffy, ally mayfair-richards, kai anderson, winter anderson, mallory, brooke thompson, montana duke)

the summer I turned pretty (jeremiah fisher, belly conklin, taylor jewel, shayla wang, conrad fisher)

miscellaneous: maeve rojas (one of us is lying), leighton murray (the sex lives of college girls), miguel diaz (cobra kai), brooke davis (one tree hill), maeve wiley & ruby matthews (sex education), kate bishop (hawkeye), roronoa zoro (one piece live action), daisy johnson (agents of shield), zach dempsey (13 reasons why), nate archibald (gossip girl)

another thing i'd like to add, i wouldn't mind writing poly ships x reader like dickkory, jackieshauna, stalia, sameena, lottienat, jaygar, etc. (or a poly ship with crossover characters like dick grayson & kate bishop for example)

i will write for fluff, angst, and maybe smut (there's only so much i am comfortable with though) if you ask nicely. and i only write for fem & gn readers

and as a reminder, you guys can request for the following fandoms for oneshots, headcanons, or just sending your fluffy or horny thoughts in my inbox (i don't judge)

[heliads]

If requests are still open :) Something for dead poets society, just sth with the gang having a good time, maybe trying to stage a play in the woods? Tbh just a everyone lives and is happy AU with fluff and winter and hot tea! (while I love this book I havent read it in a very long time...)

ok consider an everyone lives au but they are not 100% happy. (i am incapable of not writing angst my apologies) also this is movie dead poets society not book because i have not yet read the books whoops. hope you enjoy xoxo

'and it's not tonight' - dead poets society

masterlist

Todd Anderson is looking out the window at a gray, blustery morning, when they ask him if he’s going to be alright. It wasn’t quite certain before then. It’s not quite certain now, either, even after he answers.

“Of course,” he says somewhat unconvincingly, “Why do you ask?”

Behind him, Charlie Dalton raises a dubious brow. For once in his life, he’s holding himself back, but the situation requires discretion, and who is he to mess up at a time like this? He’s already been warned about treating Todd like a glass doll rather than a paper mache target, but even Charlie can tell that now is the time to pull a few punches. The hollows under his friend’s eyes are far darker than they were a couple of months ago. He wears unease like a well-traveled coat, thin at the elbows and rubbed raw at the seams.

“Look at yourself,” Charlie answers at last, “You’re exhaustion walking. And don’t tell me otherwise, I’ve got eyes.”

“I should hope so,” Todd remarks, and permits himself a small curl of his lips up into a half-smile. Half-smiles are good, though. Almost there to the real thing. So he’ll tell himself, at least.

Even a half-smile can let Charlie know that he’s alright. The other boy breaks into a well-intentioned snorting laugh. “Hey, ask any girl in town and they’ll tell you I’ve got beautiful ones. ‘Sides, Anderson, you know everything’s alright. The stuff with Neil was cleared over, right? He came back.”

“He came back,” Todd repeats somewhat weakly.

“Yeah, yeah, he came back,” Charlie confirms, walking over to clap his friend on the shoulder, shaking him a little bit just to mess with him but mainly to get his affections across. “He’s a little more tired than he used to be, and we’re all plenty scared from what could have happened, but overall we’re glad to see him again. His parents realized they messed up in the nick of time, and even if they wanted him under watch for a little bit, he’s back and we’re back and everything’s alright. Capiche?” He asks dramatically, wiggling his eyebrows for a bit of flair.

“Since when are you Italian?” Todd asks doubtfully.

“Since the situation requires it,” Charlie answers him, and slings an arm around the boy’s bony frame. “Come on now. The snow’s cleared up, and even if all that does is remind us how little grass grows on our campus, it means we can go into the woods again. I’ve been talking to the boys and we all agree that it’s time to dust off our finesse with literature. What do you say, Todd? You up for another rousing poetic exchange tonight?”

Todd jerks his head up and down in a hasty agreement. “Yeah. Neill’ be there?”

“Yeah, and me, and Knoxie, and everyone else you forgot to mention,” Charlie says in a tone of mock outrage. “God, you live with the guy, don’t you? Can’t you spare some excitement for the rest of us, too?”

Todd rolls his eyes, and finds the grace to elbow Charlie in the ribs. “Spare me the self-indulgence, Dalton. I’m glad to see all of you.”

“Don’t I know it,” Charlie affirms. “It’s been a while since we were all together, yeah?”

Todd blows out a low breath as they walk back towards the halls. It has been a long time, or it felt that way, at least. After the– after the incident after the play, in which Neil was found in his father’s study with a gun in his hands about to blow the trigger, it was decided that all of the pupils of Welton Academy would go home for a short period of time to clear their heads and come back ready to face the end of term. 

Mainly, Todd thinks it was so rumors couldn’t spread about just what happened with Neil Perry to take him out of school, and he’s glad for it. Neil doesn’t deserve to have everyone whispering about what happened to make him decide that the best thing for his life was to end it. Neil deserves the world, and none of them could give it to him.

That was the worst part of it all, Todd decides. The guilt, how it wrapped around him in wires as strong as the heaviest chains of iron. He couldn’t escape it. If he was really Neil’s friend, he would have known. If he was really Neil’s friend, Todd could have stopped him. If he was really Neil’s friend, Todd wouldn’t have found out about the attempt the next morning, quietly awoken from drowsy sleep by a Charlie Dalton with eyes like a stricken soldier as he lurchingly informed Todd that Neill Perry had tried to kill himself the night before. And none of them had known. And when his father had taken the gun away, Neil fought and screamed for it, worse than he did when he tried to convince his parents that he wanted to act, louder than he protested that he would be sent away to military school.

And then they were alone. At home. The worst place for boys to be. Should you grieve the friend who is not dead? Do you call each other on the phone, and ask if you have been playing any sporting games with other boys your age, or if you have given any thought to the fact that your friend might not have wanted to die if you had praised him more in class, or clapped louder when he performed, or said something– anything– to this beautiful, brittle boy?

They don’t say any of that. They think it quite loudly, but unspoken thoughts do not travel well over the telephone. The flittering ghosts of would-be words tend to get lodged in the coils of wire from receiver to housing, across the street and over the miles of terrain until they reach the abode of the boy on the end, who also has a lot to say but won’t. And then they both stay silent. And they both know exactly what the other wanted to say anyway. That is how friendship works.

They came back, though. Welton sent out a series of letters to usher back the pupils, even had its secretaries working overtime to call the people who never seem to answer their mail. There was another rush of cars and luggage to the dorms, and then they were settled in again. Todd had wondered if he might be assigned another roommate– anyone other than Cameron, God, but preferably Neil still– and then the door had opened quietly and Neil was there again, trying for a brave smile, and saying, “Todd?” in a voice that had once rung pure and true through a theater that loved him.

Todd loves him for it. He’d embraced Neill with open arms, felt the air punch out of his lungs in one strike, but it came back. He came back. They were alright again, sort of. They might be alright in time, but time is what they have.

Now they’ve all been waiting for the snow to melt, and treading on thin ice around topics they don’t dare broach. Neil has been a good sport, never making them feel awkward for wanting to treat him like a china doll. He was good before, too, though, and– It gets hard to tell sometimes, that’s all. Hard to tell when he genuinely is unbothered and when he’s superbly good at pretending otherwise. They stick to safer subjects anyway.

At last, though, the ground is firm, the weather not terrible, and Charlie’s gone and rallied the troops for a night out there. At first, Todd’s first instinct is to panic. They aren’t supposed to be having any more meetings of the Dead Poets Society, not since Keating was the scapegoat for all the trouble and everyone cracked down on what makes a good boy want to escape, but over time he realizes that it’ll be alright. Some things are worth the risk. Making Neil smile again is one of them.

They meet at midnight. Todd sits awake with bated breath, even though the act by itself isn’t even all that unusual. They’re teenage boys. Staying up until the moon hangs high and lofty in the sky is expected, not uncommon. Still, a delicious shiver of inherent wrongdoing whispers down his spine when Neil walks slowly into the center of their shared dorm room and says quietly, reverently, “It’s time.”

As if the others had been waiting upon that very proclamation, the remaining boys peer out into the hall immediately after Neil and Todd silently close their door behind them. Their eyes meet with shared secrecy, shared triumph, and they make their way down the wooden stairs and out into the bristling chill of night. The stars are out tonight. We are all out tonight.

They all start heading out into the woods. Charlie takes off like a flash at the end of a matchstick, hurtling at a runner’s sprint across the hills, and the others follow him at varying speeds. Todd begins walking at a normal clip until it occurs to him that he doesn’t see enough heads bobbing around him and he turns to see Neil hesitating by the door.

They lock eyes, and Todd sees a whole host of things swimming in brown irises, fear and apprehension and a sick sort of guilt that makes Todd’s stomach squirm in sympathy. He gives Neil one last moment over the threshold, then jerks his head towards the others, putting a little faux arrogance into the gesture in the hopes that an actor might appreciate an act in someone else and remember what it is like to trust oneself again.

Neil accepts the move and grins, his teeth flashing in the moonlight. “I’ll race you to the caves,” he calls, and begins to run, his footsteps sure and strong.

Todd stares after him, an astronomer watching his first comet, then takes off after him. The grass is dry and quick under his feet, spread out under each footstep like the wake of a speedboat. The wind, already coarse, pulls at Todd’s skin, his hair, his clothes, but not even the strongest gusts could keep him down. Somehow, he’s already to the edge of the forest, and he lets out a loud, delighted whoop. A barbaric yawp, if you will. Somewhere in the back of Todd’s mind, a dark-haired man in a comfortable brown sweater smiles indulgently, and chalks up another small victory to the wonders of poetry.

The second his war cry leaves Todd’s throat, the other boys swarm him like moths to a flame. Someone claps a hand over his mouth, and around him, laughs echo into the crunching of leaves underfoot. 

“Don’t be so loud, you’ll get the professors on us in no time,” someone admonishes, but then a different boy cuts in, “Don’t be stupid, we’re far enough out that we can all be shouting,” and Todd’s punishment is lifted and he can yell once more. His defender– Neil, it must be, no one else can make their voice ring with glory like that in just a few words– joins in in the triumphant calls, and then they’re all shrieking up to the stars above, here we are, not boys and not men, bold enough to scream and young enough to never listen.

Todd thinks, as they run through the forest, that it’s been a while since he let himself go free. He hasn’t listened to his mind in a long time, hasn’t let the words roll around in his brain, loose marbles of similes and paraphrased poems. His musings are dusty, dark things most of the time, but sometimes the light catches them just right and they glow like sapphires. He could write a thousand stanzas if he wanted to, right now, and everyone would listen.

The Dead Poets Society reaches the caves and a hush falls among the crowd. Slowly, they edge inside, eyes wide. The rock faces and crumbling caverns should be different, Todd thinks, something should mark the passage of time and all the awful things that have twisted their fates since the last time they sat together and thought of prose, but the stones still look as they did the last time they were here. The moss grows in familiar patterns, albeit a little thicker in certain patches now that it hasn’t been scuffed by boots in a month or so, but one of Charlie’s magazines that he forgot to take back with him turns up under some spiderwebs, and Todd’s favorite place to sit is still just as inviting. Maybe, then, the only thing that changed was them. Maybe that’s all that needs to happen.

“So?” Meeks asks, settling into a seat, “What are we doing tonight?”

“Poetry, duh,” Charlie answers him, rolling his eyes fondly. “We’re the Dead Poets Society. What else would we do, peruse our textbooks?”

This earns him a vengeful swat on the shoulder from Meeks, but even Charlie can admit that the question was fair. They’ve read plenty of poems, they’ve written a few, they’ve even gone off and run some improv limerick challenges, although Todd notes that they haven’t brought nearly enough alcohol for that tonight.

After a few moments’ thought, someone suggests a play. It might be Todd. Instantly, the idea is accepted, and roles are divided out. They’ll be doing Hamlet, since there are plenty of long sticks outside and everyone is quite fond of the idea of pretending to run each other through. Pitts is already practicing his death rattles, except he’s not very good at it, and it sounds more like he’s hacking up a lung or two.

Neil, though, is glowing at the idea, and even though they haven’t got any scripts so everyone is mostly just planning on paraphrasing the hell out of one of William Shakespeare’s finer works, Todd gets the idea that Neil has a few memorized soliloquies rattling around in his head already.

Good, then. They’ll enjoy tonight, and the next night they’re out here, and the one after that, too. It has been a very long winter, but Todd has caught his first glimpse of new spring, and he gets the feeling that warmer, sunnier days aren’t the impossibility they seemed a few weeks ago. The days are healing, and they will too. And so the Dead Poets come back to life.

requested by @reinekes-fox, i hope you enjoy!

dead poets society tag list: @faerieroyal

all tags list: @wordsarelife

[stilespeters]

Keep your head up (part 2*)

(part 1) (part 2*) (part 3)

pairing: Kai Anderson x fem!reader

a/n: wasn't gonna include smut initially but it fitted the story so uhh yay. i didn't proofread it:p its the first time i actually wrote smut soooo help?

summary: after deja vu and a trip down memory lane, Kai makes a final decision which he'll regret for a lifetime

word count: 2289

warnings: smut (oral, choking, p in v), flashbacks, murder, choking, guns, violence, angst, kai being a bitch, more angst, more angst?!! death, sadness and angst

After a few weeks of staying at the Anderson household, Kai and you began dating. Winter noticed the way you two spoke to each other, and even though she was kinda worried about it, she loved the two of you so much. You two were the most important people to her. She wanted you to be happy, and if that was with Kai, she was fine with that. It took her a while to get adjusted to the new dynamic, but once she saw how happy the two of you were, she felt like it was always supposed to be this way.

You were truly in love, and that love was reciprocated.

After your fifth week together as a couple, you two had just dined and were on the streets, talking about random topics you haven't talked about yet.

That’s until you rounded a corner and stood in a ditch. "Freedom! I wanna be free!" you yelled and Kai laughed as a few people on the streets glanced at you.

You turned to look at him and scanned his features that were illuminated by the lamppost. “You know, you look kinda scary in the darkness.”

“I do?”

“Yeah, you look absolutely menacing right now.” He laughed and stepped closer to you. “It’s like you attract the darkness.”

“I am attracted to the darkness, and I’m also attracted to you,” he joked and he smiled. “What can I do to make myself look less scary?”

“Hmm,” you began and you squinted your eyes. “Keep your head up.” He did what you said and after that, you placed two of your fingers on his lips. “Now you don't look scary at all. You look like a sweet angel.”

“Really?” he had his hands on your back as he pulled you in “These lips? Lips, you enjoy kissing.”

“Yeah,” you leaned in and gave him a kiss “It somehow makes you look less scary.”

“Okay, I feel like this is an insult.” He joked.

“It’s not, I actually like scary you.”

“Yeah? I bet you do,” he winked. “Wanna see where else I can be scary?” His lips curled up into a smirk and you rolled your eyes playfully while chuckling.

A few seconds later, you noticed he had stopped talking and when you looked up at him, you found him already staring at you. “Why do you keep looking at me?”

“I just can't take my eyes off of you.”

“Stop it.”

“Why? I enjoy looking at you.”

“I’m uncomfortable.”

"But you're so pretty. I'm afraid I can never take my eyes off of you, never in any circumstances. I will keep looking at you, no matter what you say.”

You gave him a knowing look and raised your eyebrows. He simply stood there with a smug smirk and his hands in his pockets. He then walked up to you and you stepped back till your back reached the wall of the building. He trapped you in with his body and he pressed his lips delicately against yours.

After he pulled away, you were both breathless. “You are pretty much the only one who I look up to.”

“Right back at ya,” you responded and he held you in his arms."Remember to keep your head up. The last couple of days have been rough for you, but I promise I will be there for you even if the world comes crashing down. I know we've only been together for 5 weeks, but I love you. Nothing, and I mean nothing can ever change that. Keep your head up and nothing can ever stop you. You’ll be invincible.”

“I will.” He promised and he smiled at your words and leaned down to press his lips against yours again, and you pressed your body against his.

He made a promise to himself right there and then that he would never take his eyes off of you. Life was short and he wanted to get every opportunity to look at you. He was afraid that if he didn’t, that you’d slip out of his grasp.

And he kept that promise. That night, the night of 9th of August, the two of you spent the first night together. You have wanted it for a while, so did Kai, but you were waiting for the right moment. You wanted it to be perfect and this felt like the right moment. "I want you,"

Kai’s eyes widened. “What?”

“I want you, Kai. I need you.”

As you got home and found out that Winter wasn't home, you had immediately continued the make out session in his bedroom. He trailed his fingers to your back and zipped your dress open till it felll ro the ground, and he couldn't stop staring at your body. Every curve was perfect to him and he swore he was in heaven as he saw the look of lust in your eyes. He got rid of his own clothing and as your body hit the duvet sheets, he was immediately on top of you.

He kissed every inch of your exposed neck, and he trailed his lips to your collarbone until he hooked his fingers around your back to unclasp your bra. Once your chest was exposed to him, he immediately trailed kisses on your breasts. You let out a moan as his other hand cupped your other breast and squeezed it. He wanted to hear more of those pretty sounds you made and he wanted to see what spurred you on.

Your skin felt hot to his touch, and as he left your breasts, his face moved towards yours again and he pressed a kiss to your nose. You were breathless and so was he, and you felt his erection press against your thigh. "You sure you wanna do this?" he asked and you nodded. "Never been more sure."

He smiled and his face went to your neck as he sucked and nipped at your skin. Bruises left a trail on your collarbone and neck, and you felt his fingers creeping up your thighs. Once he reached the waistbands of your underwear, he pulled them all the way down slowly in a teasing manner.

"Can I go down on you?" He asked breathlessly and you nodded. When he adjusted himself in his position, he started trailing his kisses south till he reached your chest. He pressed a few kisses between your breasts before he kissed your stomach. He looked up at you as he reached your private parts and he swore under his breath as he saw you look down at him, waiting in anticipation.

When his lips met your clit, you moaned his name loudly. He groaned and closed his eyes to savor you, and as your legs trembled, he placed his hands on your knees. When you arched your back, he slid one finger between your folds and curled it against your sweet spot. He kept rubbing while he sucked and licked your clit.

After a minute or so, you felt your release mearing and as you tugged his hair, you felt it building up. "Oh fuck." You moaned and he stopped licking your clit as he looked up at you. "That's it," he encouraged. "Let go, pretty girl, you're so close."

He spat on your clit before licking and sucking again while simultaneously rubbing your walls and that's when you clenched around his fingers and came. You saw stars as he continued, and he praised you as you came down from your high. As he moved up to face you again, you pressed your lips against his and you could taste your arousal and Kai found it hot as fuck.

When you reached down to his dick, you rubbed it up and down your folds and you heard him grunt in your ear. When he slid it inside, you immediately clenched around him and you both moaned in unison as he bottomed out. "Fuck you're tight." He gave you time to adjust as he pressed kisses on your cheek. It had been a while for you since you last slept with someone, and since Kai was pretty well endowed, you had to adjust a bit longer.

One you felt like you were ready, you squeezed his bicep and looked him in the eyes. "You can move."

Kai started moving his hips in a slow pace and the headboard of the bed pushed softly against the wall. You moaned as pleasure began to build in your stomach and Kai grunted as you clenched and unclenched around him. "Feels so good." he mumbled and he had a smug look on his face as he saw your eyebrows knitted together in pleasure. Your eyes were closed and Kai started sucking new marks on your neck as he continued pushing in and out of you.

You grabbed his hands and placed them on your neck, and Kai felt like he was seeing stars. He didn't know you were into that kind of thing and he had smiled as you moaned harder as his hands pressed pressure on your throat. "Such a slut for me," he whispered and you felt yourself coming closer to the edge.

"Open your eyes." You opened your eyes at the command and as his thrusts were getting sharper and harder, you wanted to close them again because it felt too good. However, you seemed to be in a trance as you made eye contact with him and you heard the bed creak and the headboard slam against the wall. "I wanna look at you as you fall apart. I wanna look at you as you cum around my cock."

You moaned his name again like a mantra and as he pressed a little more pressure on your throat. He was never gonna do it in a way where you couldn't breathe. He cared too much for you to do that. He just found it hot that you were submissive to him.

He would never ever hurt you in any way possible.

His hands on your neck loosened since he was scared he'd actually choke you, and you couldn't help but close your eyes again as you neared your climax. Kai tapped your cheek and your eyes were half opened as you were drowning in euphoria. "Look at me." he commanded again, and this time as he pushed his fingers between your lips and gathered your saliva to then rub your clit, you came undone.

present time

In and out of consciousness. That’s what you were pulled into.

You were on the ground with Kai on top of you as he pressed his hands against your throat, and you couldn't breathe as he pressed as much pressure as possible. He kept choking you as you tried to gasp for air and you were afraid he'd break your neck. There were tears in his eyes, and as you looked back at him, he screamed in agony. He was sobbing violently and tears escaped your eyes as you realized this was the end.

"Kai please stop!" Winter cried out and as she tried to reach you, Speedwagon and Pussbucket held her back.

As everything around you turned darker, Kai suddenly loosened his grip around your throat and you gasped for air. He was crying and he looked everywhere but your eyes as his hands still remained on your neck.

You felt tired and your head was spinning, but the part that hurt you the most was that he couldn't seem to look at you. And so, you weakly pulled up your arm with the last bit of strength you had left, and you caressed his cheek.

“Look at me.”

Kai was trapping your body with his legs whilst you laid on the ground. You just felt numb as your throat burned. He had been intimate with you many times but never this kind of intimate.

“Kai,” you let out a whimper. “Kai, baby, look at me.” your voice broke and your throat burned. “Why won't you look at me?”

“Please look at me.”

He heard the words, but he wasn't listening to them. He was trying so hard not to pull away. He knew that if he saw the look of despair in your eyes, that he’d chicken out. You had betrayed him, right? Why was it so hard for him to make an end to your life? If it was any other person, he'd done it without thinking twice.

“Please Kai, look at me.”

“Look at me.” He tried to fight the inevitable, but he lost. He slowly and carefully moved his eyes towards yours, and there were tears evident as his cheeks were wet. He expected to see you cry, he expected to see you begging for mercy, begging for life. But when his eyes met yours, all he saw was acceptance.

“My sweet angel,” Kai’s jaws clenched and he trembled violently as your hands moved to cup his cheek. Your thumb caressed the skin under his eye. “What happened to us?”

He didn't respond. “How did we get here?”

“What have we done to each other?”

He let out a sob and you couldn't help but reciprocate the action and your index finger and middle finger moved to his lips. Your pads brushed softly against his skin and you smiled weakly.

You used to think that Kai was like you, attracted to the darkness. But now you realized that he was the darkness. You were scared of him, and as he closed his eyes as the pads of your fingers brushed his lips, you smiled.

“Now you don't look scary at all.”

He brought his hand to your wrist, and rubbed with his thumb on your skin. He looked lost, he looked as if he was gonna stop. The gentle gesture of his thumb on your wrist indicated that he softened. But as you looked in his eyes, you saw something switch.

His eyes narrowed, his jaw clenched shut tightly, he stopped sobbing and he slapped your hand away from his face. He placed his hands on your neck and pulled you up till you were kneeling in front of him. Your throat hurt like hell, and you gasped for air as your knees bruised against the wooden floor.

Kai walked away for a few seconds only for him to show up again in front of you. Your eyes were focused on his shoes, and your body felt like falling down.

"Kai no!" Winter screamed.

“Keep your head up.” Your slumped head moved up till you made eye contact with Kai.

There were no tears in your eyes. You didn’t feel sad anymore. All you felt was exhaustion. All you wanted was this nightmare to end. All the pain and suffering wasn't worth trying to survive. Your body has fought for so long, your mental health has suffered too much. You just wanted everything to stop, and so you had accepted your fate.

He towered above you and you stared down the barrel of the gun. His finger was hooked around the trigger, and you knew that this would be your demise. The people in the background had faded for you, and you had one last glance at Winter who was crying, before looking at your lover.

You closed your eyes and were met with darkness.

“Freedom at last.” you whispered and your lips curled up into a weak smile.

Kai then pulled the trigger.

[taocc-updates]

”Oh, you like Taocc? Name every character.”

BET.

edit: I added the vague number of total characters listed. We’re at about 270, and I’m still adding characters.

(*By technicality

**formerly/no longer active/no longer acknowledged by the narrative as existing

***exist as of like ten seconds ago

I will only be including characters recognized as part of Taocc by more than one person. Characters will be vaguely grouped together however the frick I feel like and with only the vague suggestion of transitions. A character must have a tangible role that still has effects at the time of posting to be counted. I’m not counting all the deactivated characters from OG Taocc, for example. I am referencing the updates blog list as well as my following for this, because the challenge is to name them all, not to name them all by memory. Animals barely count sometimes when I feel like it.)

Gangle, Ragatha**, Pomni**, Kinger**, Zooble**, Caine*, Bubble**, S-Gangle, Shadow, Kaufmo, Sproingle, Unnamed Abtractions*, Easton West, Northa West, Lonn Gitud, Lattia Tudor, Felicia, Caleb, Zachariah Woods, Zombie anon, Simon Mallory/Silhouette/Aleksander, Isaac Brennan/Mix, Elida Doyle, Alice Mallory, Nikolai Harrison/Carbine, Artemis/Kepler, Calamity/Cassandra, Remnant, Sami Harrison, Yelena, Daniel, Artem, Charles/Plague Doctor Anon, Dialtone/Drias, Ilas/Amalgam, Trevor***, Archie***, Abigail***, Stella***, Paisley***, Espresso the Cat, Edward/Pharaoh, Abayomi, Clown Anon, Colorbine, Helpful Anon, Waffle Anon, Sparkler Anon, Kumo, Kopi, Violet, Stitch, Chance, Nightmare, Arthur Pendragon, Verie Pendragon, Mercutio, Juliet/Assassin Anon, Aokigahara, Dunite, Rocky, Rusty, Ryan, Dunite’s Parents, Deedee, Usagi/Usa, Icia/Ice anon, Fred, Odette/Odysseys, Samuel, Mytha, Celio, Basso, Vaga, Nova, Hexe, Slynn, Yume, Yume’s Mother and Father, the Protector, Ramona/Rae, Mirobelle, Ramiro, Achilles, Dime, Aklatan, Latte, Alexander (kingdom edition), Mocha, Switchboard, Ace Zeppelin, Damsel, Levi, Nathan, Myau, Nya, Mynou, Dusk, Jessy, Amelia, Jessy’s mother, Fynn, Joy, Ciana, Apollo, Virgo, Aster, Lance, Raina, Flare, Citrina, Citrina’s sisters (the only named one is “Jade”), Nymn, Nymn’s ex, Fae anon, Clara, Chip, Alpen, Unnamed Zodiac Angels, Kade, Feris, Pixel, Vanessa, Unnamed Arcade Worker 2/Mike, Conny, Shairo (deceased permanently), Hans, “John Smith”, Gun Pirate (lol), Unnamed Drunk Pirate, Unnamed Jar Lady, Unnamed third pirate with a gun, Dalia, Mikey, Anderson, Toga, Abstraction Anon, Quin, Blaze (Squiffer edition)/Zephyr, Skeleton anon, Mage Anon/Tanya, Camara, Avian, Sign Anon/Steven, Origami Anon/Octavia, Tea Anon/Kitsune/Katrina, Simon (Bookend), Seer anon/Sarah, Umbra, Arrows anon, Bow Anon, (Other) Bow Anon, Hex, Sun, Moon*, Sigil, Insanity, Dusty, Lantern/Eternal Flame, Eternity, Darkis, Infinity, Entity, Ember, Unknown, Juko, Lilo, Bob, Hammer, Mallet, Fox anon, Teleporting anon, Nuffle, Pyxel, Thanatos, Tiger, Siam, Sabrina (Sun’s daughter), Taika, Sisu, Quest, Tip, Stranger, Radio, Shelly, Astrion, Gaia, Aella, Electricity anon, Conspiracy anon, Bap Anon, Eve.chr, Phoenix*, The Dragon of Abyss, The Dragoness of Sky, Lemonade/Lewis, Reverie/Guidance anon, Unnamed Autumn Season, Unnamed Winter Season, Neb, Cardlan, Minimi, Entity (Backrooms edition), Casper, Manna, Pamela, Eden*, Grif, Trudy, Pen, Paper, Sophronius, Acacius, Milo, Drunk anon (deceased), Scissors anon, Thief Anon, Void anon, Cupcake anon, Chaos Enjoyer Anon, Thyme, Angst anon, villain anon, “Lucy”, Simp anon, Comax, Pickle gifter anon, pickle stealer anon, fish anon, deus ex machinanon, mail anon, foundation anon, lost anon, dropkick anon, Bug anon, Paranoia Anon, Rocket launcher anon, Kyubey, Mimic, Rodger, Ludvic, sunshine anon, anger anon, Frazzle, Wade, Loyal anon, Loyal Servant anon, the cookie run cookies lol, Felicia (top hat edition), Tophat, Greenie, Red(?), The Polygon Bees (TM), Eepy anon, Ethan, Dark, Void/Ollie, DJ, Star, Mercury/Marcus, Elysia/Evangeline Elizabeth Ambrosia, Blaze (Planetquest edition)/Brandon, Jasper, Callista/Leilani, Ursula, Ari, Lumiel/Lark, uhhh…I think that’s it

did I do it do I freaking win

Someone please count how many characters there are (there should be one comma per character if that helps)

Edit: Nevermind, I did it for you.

This is a vague number, the actual number is higher than this, maybe about 270-300

[fandom-friday]

Hi, just wanted to recommend a few more fanfics on Damian and Tim’s sibling relationship pt 2!

1. Play it Again by Jazz020/ @jazz020 (tumblr): Damian gets used to Tim playing piano in the manor and they bond together over music-the ending though is really sweet

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29618295?fbclid=IwAR14dO0esJO1_4jwKqdo_gsamcNeUEI_Wg50uBqCwOdx-q7SjmbUYZq8Yck

2. The cold (my burning promise) by BlueKappa: Tim and Damian gets locked in a room that gets colder by each minute and Tim risks his life saving Damian

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28988862/chapters/71142312

3. Brotherly Wisdom by oliviaandersonisntmyrealnamelol /@olivia-anderson-fanfic (tumblr):Tim gets his wisdom teeth out and Damian tries to use this as an opportunity to get blackmail material

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/35939842

4. Late by breathingsentences: Tim is late picking up Damian after school which causes Damian to worry

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17550680

5. Not Him by Allwalkfree/ @animemangasoul (tumblr) **AO3 must have an account, but I provided links from their tumblr since I know not everyone has an AO3 account**: Damian gets jealous with Tim spending more time with his half-brother, Warren Winters

Links:

On AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/38066698/chapters/95085913

On Tumblr

CH. 1: https://www.tumblr.com/animemangasoul/680628339984171008/not-him?source=share

CH 2:

https://www.tumblr.com/animemangasoul/700993160490401793/summery-damian-might-be-the-tiniest-bit-insecure?source=share

Oh man there's so much on this list! You've got some angst, you've got a good amount of fluff, but most of all, you've got the Batfam being the Batfam, and I adore it! Thanks so much for putting this list together and sending it in!

Participate in Fandom Friday to show your favorite creators from this week some love! :)

[gllrimes]

𝑾𝒆𝒍𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝑬𝒍𝒊𝒐’𝒔 𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒈!

𝑹𝒖𝒍𝒆𝒔:

I will be writing smut, fluff, comfort, and angst. I'm not experienced with writing as much as other writers are, so don't expect the best.

No sa or rape of any sort because we don't tolerate that.

No piss/shit/fart kinks ya dirty fucks.

No pedophilia. Age gaps only can consist of five years apart in my story's when 18+

No human servitude.

I write for any sexuality and any gender.

I do write drabbles and hcs.

I don't write agere/little space on this blog, I'll set up another blog for that!!

I don't care how old you are I can't stop you from reading my stuff 😕🙏🏻

Requests are open!!

𝑭𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒐𝒎𝒔 & 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝑰'𝒍𝒍 𝒘𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓

The Walking Dead:

Rick Grimes

Carl Grimes

Daryl Dixon

Negan Smith

Glenn Rhee

Ron Anderson

Enid Rhee

Maggie Rhee

Michonne Grimes

(Bonus: I might write for others too. Maybe Shane idk.)

The End Of The Fucking World:

Alyssa Foley

James (last name unknown)

Heartstopper:

Charlie Spring

Nick Nelson

Tao Xu

Elle Argent

Darcy Olsson

Tara Jones

Sahar Zahid

Issac Henderson

13 Reasons Why:

Clay Jenson

Hannah Baker

Justin Foley

Alex Standall

Jessica Davis

IT:

Bill Denbrough

Richie Tozier

Beverly Marsh

Stanley Uris

Mike Hanlon

Henry Bowers

Patrick Hockstetter

Victor Criss

Belch Huggins

The Flash (IMDb):

Berry Allen

Cisco Ramon

Caitlin Snow

Harry Potter:

Harry Potter

Hermione Granger

Ron Weasley

Fred Weasley

George Weasley

Draco Malfoy

Tom Riddle

James Potter

Remus Lupin

Sirius Black

Mattheo Riddle

Theodore Nott

Regulas Black

Stranger Things:

Mike Wheeler

Will Byers

Jonathan Byers

Nancy Wheeler

Lucas Sinclair

Dustin Henderson

Steve Harrington

Henry Creel

Eleven

Eddie Munson

Criminal Minds:

Spencer Reid

Aaron Hotchner

Derek Morgan

Penelope Garcia

Jennifer Jareau

Twilight:

Bella Swan

Edward Cullen

Jasper Hale

Alice Cullen

Rosalie Hale

Carlisle Cullen

Emmett Cullen

Jacob Black

Seth Clearwater

Esme Cullen

Thirteen:

Tracy Freeland

Evie Zamora

Mason Freeland

Melanie Freeland

Anne With An E:

Gilbert Blythe

Anne Shirley

Dianna Berry

Cole Mackenzie

Jerry Baynard

The Goldfinch:

Theodore Decker (older and younger)

Boris Pavlikovsky (older and younger)

The Turning:

Miles Fairchild

Kate Mandell

Flora Fairchild (NO SMUT)

When You Finish Saving The World:

Ziggy Katz

Lila

American Horror Story:

Tate Langdon

Violet Harmon

Kit Walker

Lana Winters

Zoe Benson

Kyle Spencer

Cordelia Goode

Fiona Goode

Jimmy Darling

James Patrick March

Elizabeth/The Countess

Kai Anderson

Winter Anderson

Ally Mayfair-Richards

Austin Sommers

Mr. Gallant

Edward Mott

Rory Monahan

Shameless:

Fiona Gallagher

Lip Gallagher

Ian Gallagher

Mickey Milkovich

Mandy Milkovich

Carl Gallagher

I Believe In Unicorns:

Davina

Sterling

Tokio Hotel:

Bill Kaulitz

Tom Kaulitz

Georg Listing

Gustav Schäfer

Slashers/Halloween movies characters:

Max Dennison

Billy Loomis

Stu Macher

Sydney Prescott

Bo Sinclair

Lester Sinclair

Vincent Sinclair

Jason Voorhees

Freddy Kruger

Michael Myers

Jason Dean

Patrick Bateman

Brahms Heelshire

BONUS singers/actors/youtubers:

Sam Golbach

Colby Brock

Jake Webber

Albert (flamingo)

The Sturniolo Triplets

Finn Wolfhard

Noah Schnapp

And finally... ALEX TURNER 😋😋 (he's so husband material)

!!PLEASE USE THIS RESPECTFULLY AND WISELY!!

[mads-weasley]

The Vow

Masterlist

A/N: I'M ALIVE!! (roll mushu clip from mulan) I'm back with a short Nix fic that's been in my wips for probably about a year now lol! It isn't my best work, but buckle up for some angst with fluff! Enjoy!

Summary: In a small Aldbourne café, romance blossoms, but is anything ever safe from the clutches of war?

Warnings: mentions of blood, pretty good angst w/ fluff

December 1944: Ardennes Forest, Belgium

"Nix. Nix, wake up," whispered Dick as he kneeled over the man's frozen foxhole. Nothing but a low groan could be heard from below.

Lewis pulled his thin blanket up to cover his exposed neck with a sigh. "5 more minutes, Dick."

"Lew. It's (y/n)."

Instantly, he shot up, wide awake. "Where is she? What happened?"

The redhead ran a hand down his face. "She and a few other men went on a patrol but wandered into the German line. Only one Dog company private made it out." Dick paused, watching Nix with a sad expression. "He says the last thing he saw was (y/n) going down as he ran."

It took a few seconds for the words to process in the intelligence officer's mind. 

"Go down? What does that mean? Fall? Get shot? What does he mean, Dick?" He asked frantically, jumping out of the foxhole. "Where is this guy?"

"Speirs is talking to him in the CP now. Lew, if sh-"

"No," he interrupted, shaking his head. "No, don't finish that sentence. She's not gone until I see a body."

The sight of (y/n)’s cold lifeless body flashed in his mind, causing tears to blur his vision as he jogged to CP. He took no time to compose himself before tearing through the tent’s entrance. What he saw made him sick to his stomach. Ron’s private was sitting on a cot, a far-off look in his eyes as he whispered to the Lieutenant. 

“We didn’t even know where we were, sir. Johnson, h-he fell in first, and then-,“ he stopped, squeezing his eyes closed. 

Lew didn’t have time to waste. 

“Then what happened?” He demanded, making the boy jump.

Winters grabbed his shoulder roughly. “Nix, calm down. Scaring him won’t make him talk any faster.”

Clenching his teeth, he crouched down in front of the private and calmly repeated his question. 

“It was like we kicked a hornet’s nest, sir. They were everywhere. Johnson, Hart, Anderson, and Sechler were gone in-in seconds. (Y/l/n) and I were at the rear when it happened.”

At the mention of her name, Nix could feel his heart clenching in anticipation. 

“(Y/l/n),” he asked shakily. “What happened to (y/l/n)?”

Gulping, the boy’s eyes dropped to the ground. “She told me to run while she covered me, so I did. When I got to the trees she wasn’t far behind me telling me to keep running.”

‘Selfless as always,’ Lew thought to himself. It was one of the things he loved and hated about (y/n) at the same time. He loved the way she cared for others but hated it in situations like the one they were in. (Y/n) (y/l/n) was a fearless leader who would happily lay down her life for those of her men. He prayed it wasn’t the case, but he had to know for sure.

“You saw her go down?” He questioned, fighting tears as he looked down. Ron and Dick shared a saddened glance at the sight of their broken friend.

“Yes, sir. Most of the fire had stopped, so I turned around, but when I did, a single shot rang out and she-she dropped.”

With that sentence, every thought in Lewis Nixon’s mind disappeared and was replaced with a burning rage his friends had never seen before. Before they could intervene, Nix had grabbed the Private by the collar and shoved him up against a nearby cabinet.

“And you just left her there?” He shouted, shoving the man again. “Coward!”

Speirs and Winters sprang into action, prying Nix off of the Private.

“Nix! Stop!” Dick cried. “She wouldn’t want you to act like this.”

Slowly, his thrashing stopped, and Winters let him go. He turned around to face his best friend and softly spoke.

“She can’t be gone, Dick. I refuse to believe she’s gone.”

In a rare show of affection, Dick pulled him into a hug. “I’m sorry, Lew, but we can’t go searching tonight.”

As if he’d been burned, Nix recoiled from his friend and started walking towards the tent entrance. “If you won’t look, I will.”

A hardened look appeared on the redhead's face.

“That’s an order, Nix. No searching tonight.”

Lew didn't acknowledge him as he exited the slight warmth of the tent into the frigid Ardennes. The bitter cold sank into each soldier's bones as they sat in their foxholes each day, and (y/n) had complained about it the day before. The thought of her laying forever cold among the snow turned his insides.

Bile rose to his throat and he hunched over next to a tree as he vomited what little food he had eaten that day. The tears he had been holding back flowed down his cheeks as he slowly made his way back to his foxhole.

Along the way, Luz and Perconte called out to him, but he didn't even hear them. He was too wrapped up in his head as his memories played. Memories of her.

November 1943

In a cozy corner of the café in Aldborne, England, Lewis Nixon took a deep breath. Breaking out in a small sweat, he approached Sergeant (y/n) (y/l/n), who was engrossed in a book.

"Hey there, Sergeant (y/l/n). Mind if I join you? I could use some company that doesn't involve bullets and explosions."

The woman looked up with a hint of amusement in her eyes, gesturing for him to sit.

"Well, Lieutenant..." She prompted, unsure of his name.

Extending his hand, Lew shot her his charming smile. "Nixon, Lewis Nixon."

She shook it with a smirk. "I suppose I can spare a few moments of my valuable reading time for you. But be warned, my standards for company are quite high."

With a playful glint in his eyes, Lew took a seat across from the woman.

"I'm up for the challenge, Sergeant," he chuckled. "Just don't expect me to bring you flowers or serenade you with a love song.

(Y/n)'s hand rose to her heart in mock disappointment. "Oh, what a shame! I was hoping for a romantic serenade right here in the café. Guess I'll have to settle for your delightful conversation."

And what a delight it was.

The more time they spent together between training and on nights out at the local pubs, it was harder for them to deny their attraction. Fraternization was strictly prohibited in the army, and neither wanted to face the consequences if they were ever found out. So they kept their feelings secret, but those around them could see the longing gazes and gentle touches the couple shared.

March 1944

The Aldbourne pub bustled with activity as the locals and soldiers from the nearby base filled the room with laughter and lively conversations. Amongst the crowd, Lew and (y/n) sat at a corner table, their camaraderie and unspoken connection apparent to anyone who cared to observe.

It was a typical Friday evening, and the atmosphere was relaxed. (Y/n)'s warm smile captivated those around her as she was engaged in an animated conversation with a group of soldiers who had become like family. Nix watched her, his gaze filled with admiration, knowing that her charm and kindness drew people in effortlessly.

As the evening progressed, a young man, dressed in civilian attire, entered the pub. His confident demeanor and charismatic presence immediately caught all the ladies' attention. He approached their table, flashing a charming smile.

"Evening, folks," the man greeted, his eyes lingering on (y/n). "Mind if I join you for a drink?"

Lew felt a pang of jealousy shoot through him, his grip on his glass tightening ever so slightly. He knew they weren't a couple, but the connection he shared with (y/n) ran deep. Seeing someone else vying for her attention ignited an unfamiliar sense of protectiveness within him.

(Y/n), always the warm and friendly soul, gestured for the man to take a seat. "Sure, have a seat. We don't mind some company."

As the stranger settled in, he engaged the (y/h/c) in conversation, his words laced with a flirtatious charm. Lewis listened with his jaw clenched as he struggled to suppress the swell of emotions stirring inside him. It seemed that everyone in the pub could sense the unspoken tension between him and (y/n), and their gazes shifted between the trio, observing the dynamics at play.

Unable to bear it any longer, Lew excused himself from the table, his heart pounding in his chest. He made his way to the bar and ordered a drink to calm his racing thoughts. It wasn't that he wanted to claim (y/n) as his own, but the thought of someone else stealing her attention stung him deeply.

As he leaned against the bar, lost in his own thoughts, a voice broke through his reverie. It was (y/n), her footsteps hesitant but determined.

"Lew, can we talk?" she asked softly, her eyes searching his face for any sign of understanding.

He turned to face her, trying to mask the emotions that had consumed him just moments ago. "Sure, (y/n/n). What's on your mind?"

She took a deep breath, her voice earnest. "I noticed you were uncomfortable back there. I want you to know that there's nothing between that man and me. You mean a lot to me, Lewis, and I wouldn't want anything to jeopardize our friendship."

He felt a mixture of relief and vulnerability wash over him. Reaching out, he gently placed a hand on (y/n)'s arm. "(Y/n/n), I trust you. It's not about not trusting you. It's just... seeing someone else vying for your attention made me realize how much you mean to me."

A flicker of surprise danced in the woman's eyes, her expression softening. "Lew... I feel the same way. But we can't, and you know why."

He sighed softly, eyes flickering to her lips momentarily. "I know, doll. It kills me every day."

"Me too, but I'd rather have you as my friend than not have you at all."

D-Day + 1, 1944

In the dense forest of Normandy, the pair found themselves separated after their harrowing jump on D-Day. The chaos of the jump had scattered them, and each of them carried a growing anxiety in their hearts until they could find the other.

Nixon, his mind racing with worry, fought his way through the dense underbrush, desperately searching for any sign of (y/n) amidst the fog of war. He couldn't bear the thought of losing her to the chaotic and treacherous landscape. The far-off sound of gunfire and explosions only fueled his determination to find her.

Her heart pounding with fear, (y/n) moved with urgency through the war-torn forest, her eyes scanning the surroundings for any glimpse of Nixon. The stress of navigating the dark forest made it difficult to focus, but she refused to let despair take hold. She knew that finding him was vital to her own survival, a beacon of hope amid the horrors around her.

As fate would have it, their paths finally converged in a small clearing. Hearing rustling in the trees ahead of her, (y/n) lowly whispered out the call sign.

"Flash!"

"Thunder."

The second she heard the voice, she knew it was him. When both stood up into the small clearing, relief washed over them. Their faces mirrored a mixture of anxiety and sheer joy, and in that instant, the weight they carried lifted, replaced by an overwhelming sense of gratitude.

"Lewis!" (Y/n) quietly called out, her voice filled with equal parts relief and emotion.

"(Y/n/n)!" He replied, his voice catching in his throat. Nix closed the distance between them, embracing her tightly.

"Thank God," Lew whispered, tightening his hold on her smaller frame. "I'm so glad you're okay."

They held each other, taking solace in the fact that they were together once more.

"I was worried I'd lost you," Nixon whispered, his voice trembling with vulnerability.

The (y/h/c)'s grip tightened, her voice filled with unshed tears. "I was so afraid, Lew. I couldn't bear the thought of not finding you."

Their eyes locked, and in that shared gaze, they found solace and understanding.

"Doll, I can't imagine going through this without you," Lewis confessed, his voice filled with a mixture of gratitude and love.

A small smile formed on (y/n)'s lips as she caressed his cheek gently. "Screw the rules, Lew."

With a shared understanding of what they were risking, they leaned in, lips meeting in a tender and desperate kiss. It carried the weight of their anxious hearts, the relief of being together again, and the realization that their love was a beacon of light amidst the darkness of war.

December 1944: Ardennes Forest, Belgium

Finally arriving at his foxhole, Lewis prepared to set out in search of (y/n). As he was quickly gathering his supplies, he heard a faint rustling in the underbrush behind him. Turning around, his heart leaped with a mix of anticipation and trepidation, only to find (y/n) stumbling weakly through the snow-covered trees.

The woman's uniform was torn and bloody and her face was marked with exhaustion and dirt. She looked up, her eyes meeting Nixon's with a mixture of relief and disbelief.

"And where exactly are you hurrying off to, soldier?" She weakly croaked.

Shock and joy coursed through Lewis' veins as he rushed to (y/n)'s side, barely able to comprehend that she was alive. When he reached her, it was like her body finally allowed itself to shut down after running on nothing but adrenaline for hours. She collapsed in his arms as her body went limp.

"Medic! We need help here!" Nixon shouted as he lowered them to the ground, the urgency in his voice echoing through the silent forest.

He cradled her head in his lap, his voice a steady reassurance as he urged her to stay awake between shouts for help. Remembering his little medical training from basic, he put pressure on her gunshot wound, which sat just below her collarbone along her right shoulder.

Panic gripped Nixon's heart as he called for a medic again, his voice trembling with desperation.

His arms trembled as he cradled (y/n)'s weakened body, his heart pounding in his chest. Fear and anguish mingled as he pleaded with her to stay conscious. "(Y/n/n), stay with me. Don't you dare give up. Help is coming."

The weight of her limp form pressed against him, and he could feel the life slipping away from her. His voice cracked with emotion as he whispered words of reassurance and love, hoping against hope that she would hear him, even in her weakened state.

"I'm here, doll. You're not alone. I love you," He murmured, his voice filled with tenderness and a profound sense of longing.

Minutes that felt like an eternity passed until finally, the distant sound of hurried footsteps broke through the eerie silence. Roe and Spina, along with Winters and Speirs had arrived, their faces etched with concern.

"Please, help her," Lewis implored, his voice thick with emotion as he stepped back, giving the medic room to work. Dick placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, overlooking his earlier outburst.

The medics immediately got to work, assessing her injuries with skilled hands. Nix watched anxiously, his heart in his throat. The words the medic spoke were a haze in his mind, a blur of technical jargon and medical terminology. However, he was fully aware that (y/n)'s condition was not a good one.

His eyes never left her face, the anguish etched across his features. As the medic worked tirelessly, Lew felt a mixture of helplessness and determination. He prayed fervently for her survival, his heart heavy with the weight of his love for her.

Time seemed to stretch infinitely, the world outside their desperate bubble fading away. She was stabilized and moved to the company's makeshift aid station, where Lew sat next to her. As much as he wanted to split the distance and take her hand, he knew they were not alone, and anyone could burst in at any moment. As hours passed, he began to lose hope.

As the morning sun cast a gentle glow through the canvas of the medical tent, (y/n)'s eyelids fluttered open, and her vision blurred at first. The scent of antiseptic mingled with the sounds of muffled footsteps and whispered conversations. Confusion and a dull ache permeated her body, reminding her of the ordeal she had endured.

Gradually, the fog of unconsciousness lifted, and her gaze focused on the figure sitting beside her bed, his eyes filled with a mixture of relief and exhaustion. It was Lewis, his face etched with worry lines and traces of dried tears. Roe and Spina excused themselves from the tent, knowing they were intruding on a private moment.

"Hi..." she whispered, her voice barely audible. "Are you okay?"

Tears welled up in Nixon's eyes as he leaned closer, his voice choked with emotion. "Am I okay? You're the one who got shot, doll."

A fragile smile graced (y/n)'s lips, and her hand reached out, seeking his touch. Without hesitation, he took it, gently running his thumb along the top of it.

"How are you feeling?"

Taking a deep breath, she looked down at her injured shoulder, which was now in a sling. "I feel like I got run over by a panzer."

A small laugh escaped his lips as he wiped a stray tear from his cheek. "I bet you do, sweetheart."

A few seconds passed before (y/n) broke the silence.

"I heard you, Lew... when I was drifting in and out of consciousness. You said... you loved me," She murmured, her gaze seeking solace in his eyes.

His heart swelled, voice raw with emotion. Nixon held her hand tightly, his voice trembling with sincerity. "I meant it, (y/n/n). I've loved you since that day in the café."

"Good," (y/n) chuckled. "Because I love you, too."

Tears welled in his eyes as he leaned in, pressing a tender kiss against her forehead. "I'm so thankful you're here."

"You were the reason I kept fighting to make it back. I was tempted to lay there and give up, but then I thought about you, and I knew I had to get up because I couldn't leave you alone."

His grip on her hand tightened as he brought it up to his lips. "You're right. I can't do any of this without you. I need you here with me."

With a mixture of urgency and tenderness, Lewis leaned closer, his lips gently capturing hers in a kiss that held the power to heal and ignite a fierce sense of hope. It was a kiss filled with unspoken words, a testament to the depth of their love and the strength that had carried them through the darkest times.

As their lips melded together, time seemed to stand still. The world around them faded into insignificance, leaving only the sensation of their touch and the beating of their hearts. It was a bittersweet blend of longing and relief, the taste of their shared triumph over the jaws of death.

Their kiss conveyed a profound sense of gratitude, each press of their lips conveying the unspoken message of "I'm here, I'm alive, and I'm with you." It was a silent pact; a promise to embrace life fully, treasure every stolen kiss, and navigate the uncertainties of the future side by side.

Finally, as their lips reluctantly parted, they remained locked in a gaze that spoke volumes, their eyes reflecting the depths of their emotions. Their foreheads gently touched, breaths mingling as they silently vowed to savor every moment, to cherish the fragile gift of life that had brought them back together.

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