#will update if i experience hell
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nonsense post today is how i have the determination to do this stupid george harrison costume while I'm spiraling like crazy. i changed the idea 4 (or 5?) TIMES. sgt peppers, rooftop, abbey road, hamburg era, and finally... help! it's a last minute costume, but i need at least one good thing rn. plus i love that stupid hat a lot
#spirit halloween is such a beautiful place#nobody will understand my costume at all#and im going to get bullied like crazy#But im free ♥#will update if i experience hell#i hope at least one random old guy will understand#my ripoff help costume#Sigh. I'm going to cry myself to sleep now#ALSO not dead don't fret 😓 last post was embarrassing sorry#maybe i'll survive the week#also also i might see smile 2 bc i am not Trusted with bedrotting anymore. So that's nice#here comes the constant spoiling until they get sick of me again 🙏🙏 great.#Stupid cycle
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“Mu Qing is too logical for his own good” is such a real problem that he deals with and as tragic as it makes his life I also think it’s really funny when someone is accusing him of something and instead of telling them to shut up or leave him alone the first thing he does is pull out the 95 fucking theses detailing every single thing wrong with their argument WITH historical evidence and additional considerations from scholarly psychology articles, MLA format works cited and completely annotated. It could use an editor and some bias correction, but he actually makes a pretty good point. anyways tgcf ace attorney au when
#mu qing xie lian hua cheng and Ling Wen in a San FranTokyo court of law needs to happen#Hua Cheng is the guy who became a lawyer to chase a boy. he would be a defense attorney too#Xie Lian is a lawyer because of his natural strong sense of justice and he would probably be a prosecutor too based on his track record#it’s not a perfect parallel but you know what I mean#xie lian is still so phoenix wright by nature but hes just a prosecutor now. they both have survived a multitude of near-death experiences#Hua cheng plays a natural game where he only bites back if something is worth his time and doesnt usually seek trouble.#therefore hes the most ruthless defense attorney you've ever seen. he would update the autopsy report#you could also argue that xie lian would still be a defense attorney if you consider the way phoenix uncovers truth within his defense#and then ends up sending someone else to jail in the end. which happens very often#mu Qing started off as a prosecutor but Xie Lian said he would be a better defense attorney and he was right#Feng Xin is the. uh. bailiff. or something#judge jun wu#Ling wen is like the final boss of witnesses. that brocade immortal scene where xie lian absolutely fakes her tf out is so iconic#unless ling wen is gumshoe just much much less silly goofy#does anybody have that one edgeworth art where its. i ask the witness a question. i press them. they lie. they go to hell#if you do PLEASE dm me im begging you i need it#the wind master is maya holy shit what if#banyue is pearl#no-face von karma...... qi rong franziska......#again its Not a perfect parallel by any means but the spirit is here#rb with your tgcf lawyer headcannons#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#heaven official's blessing#mu qing
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Went to the bank to get some cash, bringing my sock knitting in of course, and the guy who helped me also knits, showed me a picture of his socks he's working on, we talked about knitting for like 20 minutes entirely forgetting i was there for bank reasons, anyway he gave me his number and we are hopefully going to try a little knitting group of just us
#hes just cool to talk to but also we are both so enthusiastic about sock knitting and knitting in general#best bank experience of my life i was smiling the whole time#knitting#update i texted him ! thats the part i always fail at so hell yeah. hopefully he wrote his number down correctly aaa#or that i read it correctly OTL
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saying this in a normal and not serious way. but i think my local library has a vendetta against me (in any context outside of being a patron)
#personal#like. trying to get an entry level job and never hearing back#(or being insta rejected if i try to follow up) depsite#a friend of mine getting a job there w/ similar experience#and then i applied for a gallery show. Got in. dropped off my work#and then i was completely snubbed? like not in the main show#not in the 'community submissions' part. even when i asked#if they got my work (they did. and said it would be installed). like what the hell man#like idk man 😭 they just dont like my vibe i think#it is what it is. but also it feels ridiculous. but also none of this is actually true#necessarily. but it feels that way. anyways#if i get my masters in library science im deadass gonna have to move to a new city or something 😭#sigh. maybe museum round 2 will be successful 🙏#courtney job search update once more..
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Lineup of all of the characters that appear long enough to need a visual representation of them in the game lol
#I added a few people that you can randomly run into around town (like at the inn or in the forest or etc) and have very short conversations#with just to kind of flesh out the world a little more in a more natural-ish seeming way. Like nobody in the main cast would really#have much reason to talk about the actual city you're in or anything. Since most of them havent lived there that long anyway.#But if there's a ''city inspector'' that you can run into whilst he's writing up notes examining the local inn. then maybe there could be a#few dialogue options with him where you can ask about things like that. since he would know more about the area as an offical Government#Worker or etc. Optional of course. since I have to be so wary of my natural inclination to lore dump lol and am trying extra hard to make i#all stuff thats easily avoided/skipped. But for the people like ME who deliberately choose to exhaust every possible optional dialogue#option and explore every single inch of the world and try to collect as much information as possible - then there are a few extra places to#do that. Though obviously not all of them just give exposition for like 15 paragraphs blandly. Some you don't really learn anything from#and it's kind of just.. random flavor to make the non-shop map locations more ''lived in'' feeling. Like the random#little girl you can talk to in the park doesn't bizarrely start reading out the wikipedia description of some War that happened 10 years ag#or whatever. she's just complains about school a little and asks if you've tried the nearby ice cream cart treats and etc lol#ANYWAY..#some of the art is so so evil but I'm not going to spend 800 years trying to clean it up and update it. whatever the hell mess I sketched#out in 2018 or whatever is just what I'm keeping lol... it is what it is#One of the many trials of the whole 'briefly work a few months on something and then abandon it almost entirely only to pick up work#on it literally like 4 - 5 yrs later and now you must contend with trying to decipher whatever weird shit you did years ago' experience lol#Also given the population breakdowns of the world in general I think there's an unrealistic amount of jhevona in this lineup since#they're a much rarer species to just see out and about anywhere but.. it IS a global trading center type area. and the game#takes place in the north (the country of Asen. near the coast. for the maybe 2 or less people who actually keep up with my worldbuilding#enough to know where that is lol (the same continent as Navyete (where the avirre'thel live)) and there's a decent concentration#of nothern jhevona only a short ways away so... tee hee..I shall pretend it makes sense and not merely me just wanting#to represent more of that species because I think their lore is interesting lol#I MEAN also realistically there would NOT be a human here because humans are extremely isolated species that don't even know the rest#of the world exists really and human territories are extremely protected from the outside world but... of course it's like.. well we need#at least One of them to be there for the Optional Lore. Same with the Ythrili. But at least those are like.. PLAUSIBLE.. not nonsensically#outlandish. If I had a Verrucalt or something in there THEN that would be truly lore-breaking almost lol#ANYWAY.. rambling that only means anything to me because nobody else knows what I'm even referencing but hbjh#also I think my character designs are so funny in the sense that I really do just love to do the same thing over and over again ghbjh#wow... random asymmetry and belts and arm straps and high collars where the neck is completely covered?? you dont say..how novel
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have you made any more frog bread?
??? did i even post that on here? i remember i posted it on twt like. three~four years ago so i'm baffled as to how you remembered that anon but no i have not. i DID make pretzels this weekend however and those turned out good hehe
#the frog bread turned out. mediocre. it was dense and i threw it out after i actually cut into the body of it and realized it wasn't#fully cooked like i thought it was.......#tbf that was also my first solo bread experience so. how it goes. i have learned since#actually i might know the general identity of who this anon is i did mention my frog bread in a discord server when i made it but also#how did you remember that? hdgkldfhgl?#update nvm probably who the hell sent this?????#i'm not creeped out really just baffled/ did you go through my twt media and find that? did you just. Remember? are you someone i know#who dredged up this memory adhd-style?#asks#anon
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So the thing with seeing your favourite band live is that you will never ever feel normal about any of the songs that you heard them play then. Caught up on the tmbptmbg marathon today and it felt like being punched in the gut repeatedly (slash positive... but also aargghfhgg painnnn. You know)
#and they can fit so many songs in one concert because they're so short so you know. the effect is very far-reaching#btw one insteresting result of this is that man it's so loud in here was the 2nd song played during the marathon i think#and you would not believe how much of a tearjerker this one could become#i always liked this song a whole lot but i totally wasn't expecting to enjoy it THIS much live#something magical and one of a kind about that moment one of the best moments of the whole show. for real#it's like man. it really is so loud in here. and it's beautiful. we're all here together in this moment.....#and then later in the marathon they played when will you die and can't keep johnny down one right after the other#like wow are you trying to kill me actually. and again neither was even that much of a super huge fav before this#i'm sure all of this is just a common concert goer experience#but i'm sort of amazed to also be able to live this myself you know......#the rare beauties of life.....#this has been today's update on the current state of things which is that i'm fully back in tmbg madness hell as of recently#to no surprise. that's the only notable thing btw no need to talk about anything besides that#goosepost
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We did it folks graduation achievement unlocked >:D
#class of 2024 hs grad#okay but I feel like I just had a character growth moment tho#just last week I was avoiding all discussion about it and pretending it’s never gonna happen#putting on a stoic emotionally detached mask to remove myself from how distraught the end was making me#but then proceeding to silently cry in the car under the weight of never making connetions like this again and the inevitable struggles#then a couple days of being bitter that everyone wanted to celebrate my graduation when I wanted it to be miserable#aaaand then this week I’ve just been like ‘meh yeah why not’ lol#just totally nonchalant and treating it like an average day#but after getting some last casual conversations in there and simply chilling/hanging out with these people I’ve known#can safely say graduation was a good experience#and honestly far more pleasant then the initial heartache I anticipated for months#I mean yeah the concept of everyone I care about being ripped away from me is still enough to tense my throat#but overall I’m far more accepting of the transition and even relieved that it’s over with#especially after today and realizing ‘yeah wasn’t too bad could do again’ jksjsksp#accidentally came to terms with it in a satisfactory way in the span of a singular day how about that#and will be fine until the moment someone starts antagonizing me about getting a job 🙃#also thank you mom for taking a grainy photo resolution to save my identity hehe (was unintentional)#also this is unrelated but the amount of people who decorated their caps was incredible. Genuinely such talented people out here#they personalized the hell outta those handmade designs and I applaud the attention to detail#update#random#personal thing
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been thinking about how the thing that killed the singularity had ties to the otherworld
#stardust speaking !#gbf spoilers#laser'd to nothing is such a. O_O moment that still makes me dizzy like what the hell...#well. and pommern&his hydra ig<33333#what if uve been thro multiple worldthreathening danger level threats but its hydras that makes u freeze#not to say grans not scared of other stuff. ty chichiri fate eps but man#anyway. blue djgr fes art. dizzy. DIZZY.#greatest potential......#the worlds worst omen......oouugghhhhhhhhhh fenrir.................#the dead timeline is so fucked up like. shitori and violet knight....................#but our shitori is still at edgelands right. tummy hurting oh this sucks...........shitori.......my beloved little shitori...............#whos been trying so hard all alone for way too many years....the faked ids.....................#ebisu.......T_^#shitoris entire thing is so tragic she makes me so SAD i love her & mika sm.........#when ur fav characters r locked behind 113 chs of msq#btw ive had more thoughts. that i also feel like ive talked about before#but how usually gran wont talk about their feelings / hide them / divert the attention (when its about THEIR issues and THEIR past#but they dont have the energy nor will to do that in current msq. the very rare grans unusually open experience#whicj DOES exist to some extent at select few moments too but...............gah#GAAAAHHHH#november theyll update msq. surely.
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the term "replay value" when it comes to videogames was a mistake
if the game is good its worth replaying simple as that
#fr tho people watch movies again or read books again#because if the game is actually good it shouldn't MATTER if it doesn't get huge content updates or forced in online shit it should still be#worth experiencing again#i hate the replay value mentality so much it treats videogames as disposable products rather than art or hell even just Good entertainment#experiences
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homes. :~)
#liv's sims#forgot how fun it is to do rotational gameplay. monday n werner had twins + are suffering bc babies are hell since the baby update.#which i welcome btw. this game could use some challenge lmao#and meanwhile werner's evil twin 'wan' is trapping random people inside his apartment to experiment on them. his husband elio helps. yay
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rant <3
#so i told my friend im thinking abt engaging more in my christian community again starting w going to church more and visiti g exchanges etc#she kniws abt basically all my other friends being more than less religious and active in their respective communities#+ my family being religious even during soviet times and she even kniws abt the orthodox side of my family#so this shouldnt surprise her this much#why is she trying to talk me out of it saying christianity is evil and she cant agree to creationism like ok bitch me too#she acting as if im gonna become some republican american blonde woman or an primitive medieval peasant wthhh#and like i get it she and her family have always been agnostic and she doesnt have any personal experience with believe and faith#but that is even more reason to shut the hell up?? especially bc i just told her as like a life update i didnt want to start a discussion#w an agnostic no less#ppl like that make me so uncomfortable and then she kept saying things like this person is godless as a joke like stfu???#and kept bringing up she csnt believe in god at random times it made me so umcomfortable#especially bc now i feel hesitant to invite her to hangouts w my more 'strict' friends like idk what she thinks abt them and i dont want to#expose my friends who have to listen to enough shit to someone like that like i want my home to be a safe space for my friends#anyways thats the same girl who keeps telling me she doesnt think im white and when i tell her her saying this makes me uncomfortable#shes argues its ok bc she is not white herself ok wth im literally german/slavic how is that not white im crying#cant really articulate what exactly makes me uncomfy abt this but feels like she wants to enable me its really weird#also with tge christian stuff like ive always been religious she kniws abt me reading religious texts its so weird to me#why are you my friend if you disagree with a foundamental part of my life#maybe she thoight i was an ok one bc me and my familys approach to believe and faith is very relaxed but wth man
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I <3 blowing up my save files mid-playthrough or after I've beaten the game and feel aimless or I'm three hours in and incredibly indecisive and perfectionistic and have to start over Better this time or I just get really into One Idea and blow up the save for the sole purpose of achieving the One Idea and once I have it's like. Well. What was the point of that actually. And then I blow it up again
#IDK IDK I FEEL LIKE I'M CURSED.........#i swear to god it all started when i realized i'm transgender. experience that changed me forever#OBVIOUSLY. IN POSITIVE WAYS.#but also i just feel like i'm constantly starting over. i used to have master files.#it was actually such an emotionally fucked up experience i used to write my deadname on the back of my 3ds carts#i used to be ambivalent to my deadname until i felt like i had to prove it to myself. and in doingvthat#i did come to appreciate it and it did feel associated w me. or at least what i was meant to embody.#i was always trying to Prove It. to myself. that if i can Prove It i can make this work and get all i've ever wanted#like love. ect ect#in ways i won't elaborate on my name now does honor my deadname. without really being reflective of it at all#which is exactly what i needed esp at that time in my life. it was SUCH a sudden upheaval.#like all of this i've been burying and stomping out for so many years like. once i finally just allowed myself to question.#and be at peace w it. it just all spilled out full force and like. i think i still experience side effects from it LMFAOOOO#like my save files. being unable to revisit certain games. hell even fe becoming one of my main interests#was a direct side effect of me needing a game where i could be myself and not have any prev memories attached#also just. the fucking type of person i am. guy who loves to leave and start over all the fucking time#but also also like. i think it's just the perfectionism sometimes. like eo2 i'm trying to get my party/lore Just Right#so i can fully immerse myself in it and NOT feel bad. for making any amount of changes to my party 😭#I'M SUCH A SENTIMENTAL BITCH. WHO CAN'T HOLD ONTO ANYTHING. WHO REFUSES TO LET GO. WHAT‼️‼️‼️#and w miitopia it's just. i need to update the artwork here it's insane. i gotta fix this. no one is allowed to see this.#anyways. starting over in miitopia and fixing it. i don't even know what my party is gonna be tbh#i usually plan this shit out but again. deep deep DEEPLY rooted Need to just blow everything up forever.
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im finally getting ads completely in spanish now including the close/exit/proceed/shop now buttons that are on them ^_^ gonna start a journal soon for it as well!
#not spiderstuff#small rambling and updates feel free to skip or read that#im still really scared to speak it in front of my friends and family bc they'll just make fun of me for trying to learn and being so quiet#BUT. ill get there or ill die#i have a lot of plans so i havent actually been posting much here or reblogging much but i come on here every now and then#and i deleted the app like ages ago to discipline myself anyway. not that u guys asked BUT i just wanted to share!#but yeah. doing work constantly and trying to have fun drawing again (working btw! yay) and writing in free time and exercise with my dog +#for his health and my skin and just overall being healthier ! and less online#in preparation for a shit ton of things about to be thrown my way and idk if ill ever really BE prepared but. yknow thats life#and im going back to counseling and seeing if i can get back on meds to help with issues. i don't think ill be able to tell them everything#bc thats so dangerous rn? i don't trust anybofy like that#but i gotta. fuck this stupid baka human experience <- reference.#i cant beliebve adulthood is so close. like what the hell#i can't use my llittle guy excuse for attacking politicians anymore omg nooo
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when i was in the youth connections program they made us make linkedin accounts so our names would show up when u google our names for employers or w/e but first of all it was just an empty profile whihc i think is a lot more sus but then now it doesnt even show up at all anyway DHBJDA..... and like . my gov name is so niche there is no one else on the internet w my same first & last name combo
#i didnt want to add my picture dude i dont want to be trackable on the internet what the hell#i lost access to it anyway bc i forgor the password#so i couldnt even update it w my cafe experience
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[Timmy Turner voice] I wish every Links Meet AU that uses Marin as a phantom to haunt and traumatize Link goes to hell no matter what
#No I am not vaguing any specific links meet au bc ive already seen four different ones that do this#Fun Fact! You can give ALTTP!Link different character conflict!#That doesn't butcher the themes and ending of one of the games!#And reduce a female character and arguably LOZ's first complex character to a flat source for man angst#Marin would murder Link if she found out he was remembering her and Koholint in trauma and tragedy#Rather than treasuring its memory and celebrating its existence#GENUINELY framing Link as wildly traumatized by the events of Link's Awakening the way so many ppl do#Completely destroys all thematic coherence in the game's ending and makes it wildly unsatisfying#Yes Koholint disappearing was sad. No Link did not kill an island no it would not haunt him like a ghost#It's a treasured memory and a net positive experience! I have OPINIONS on this and I'm CORRECT#And I'm calling out Links Meet AUs specifically bc those are the biggest offenders#Of stripping everyone else of depth and focus for the sake of white boy Link#If ur lucky then Zelda still has character depth but everyone else* is shit out of luck basically#*Exceptions apply ofc#Lots of stuff that's not links meet aus also interprets Marin in ways I don't personally like#I am picky#Some of which I'd argue are just. Bad.#But at least they often make an effort with her character#Links Meet AUs are the Link Only Show tho and I'm ANNOYED bc I WANT TO LIKE THEM#I AM A SUCKER FOR MULTIVERSE SHIT. U DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH THIS PAINS ME#Anyway. L + ratio + you did not consider the thematic implications of ur fanproject and it annoys me :(#My posts#Loz#Link's awakening#update when i first made this post i was genuinely not intending to single out any specific links meet aus#however i have since crunched the numbers and two thirds of the marin tag on ao3 is linked universe#and i would like to make it clear. i have no real issue with the actual comic or its portrayal of marin#mostly bc marin has not actually appeared or been addressed in the actual comic at all#however i do hope the linked universe FANDOM goes to hell no matter what
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