#will this job pay my bills for the next few months at the very least? yes. am I lucky to be able to do that? yes

[albedobeheading]

aahhhh you live your days how you live your life!!! Dont get on tumblr dot com and complain!!

[genacity]

Hi there 🫢

So I just had to write a letter… and I had to put it in an envelope (obvi) and it was one of those envelopes that you have to lick to seal.

Now imagine Scaramouche being ur roommate, and he sees you lick the envelope and his thoughts run WILD

I had to share this cuz idk 💪

🎐anon

nsfw / suggestive scaramouche & the envelope; ANON THIS IS CRAZY WHY ARE YOU SO SMART

i am literally shaking. your last request was so good but this one takes it all 💯 HOW DO YOU THINK OF THESE THINGS

i was thinking of making this an entire fic by itself but i have other drafts i need to clear so you get whatever the hell this may be sorry 😰

you and scaramouche had been roommates for a few months now. he wasn’t the sweetest person in the world; but he payed his share of the bills, had a stable job, and had contributed to the house enough to be able to label him as a decent roommate.

the both of you never seemed to bother each other very often unless it was about the house. maybe the occasional “good morning” or “see you later”, but other than casualties, you never seemed to speak much.

maybe that was why you didn’t expect today to be so different than the rest. today, you had to head down to the post office to send a thank you letter to one of your family members. you had just graduated college recently and since they had send flowers and some money to “treat yourself” (you knew it would just go towards taxes anyways), you concluded that it would be basic courtesy to send a card back at the least.

you stood over the kitchen counter writing out the last of your letter to your extended family. your wrist ached with fatigue as you signed your name next to the love at the bottom of the card and put the pen aside, reaching over to the envelope you had put next to you.

scaramouche walked into the kitchen past you to slide a mug under and press a few buttons on the coffee maker. “what are you doing?” he had asked, the buzzing of the machine behind him making you lick your teeth to hold back the outward cringe. ‘that coffee maker must be old,’ you thought. ‘we should buy a new one soon.’

“just writing a letter.” you said flatly, picking up the envelope and turning to face scaramouche to engage in small talk.

scaramouche raised his eyebrows. “to who?” he inquired. you blinked and looked around for a moment; never had he held a conversation out with you for this long. this was definitely a first. “just some family that came to my graduation.” you murmured, lips occupied as you brought the envelope in your hands to your tongue to lick the seal.

you stuck your tongue out to glide it across the sticky part at the top, the taste of plastic lingering as you wet the seal. your eyes were too focused on the envelope to assure you didn’t cut your tongue (it’s happened before) that you didn’t notice the growing expression on your roommate’s face.

scaramouche’s eyes widened at the sight of your long tongue extending from your lips, carefully licking the adhesive and sealing the letter shut. his lips parted slightly, chest heaving with heavy breaths as his grip against the counter behind him hardened.

he could only stare, frozen in place as you finished the letter off with your stamps of choice and signing the address on the front. you said something to him, but he couldn’t hear you; the only thought in his mind your tongue and what it could do to him.

wait— what? what the hell was he thinking? you were his roommate; just some lowlife he shared an apartment with. but as much as he bashed himself internally, the image of you bending him over this counter right now, using that careful tongue of yours to please him was all he could see. vision foggy as his lips pressed themselves into a line, the sound of the coffee machine behind beeping snapped him out of his thoughts.

“scaramouche, hello? have you seen my—” “no!” he snapped, snatching the mug from the machine and rushing off to his room. your eyes trailed him confusedly. what was wrong with him? matter of fact, what was wrong with you?

you watched him rush away, eyes falling to the evident bulge in his pants before he slammed the door of his bedroom.

[jastard]

Making a new official post because the original (here and on GFM) has lost traction! My friend Ceaser has been struggling to find consistent housing for several months; right now she can't work due to being out of childcare, and is at risk for eviction again. Her landlord is currently asking for $600, and Ceaser wants to be able to give him at least $200.

Please share and donate if you can!

https://gofund.me/16ae73f4

____

Hi, my name is Ceaser, I go by Cee for short. I have 6 children and am facing serious hard times. We've been facing homelessness for about 6-8 months on and off. We finally found an apartment and have been able to move in. Unfortunately, I'm out of work due to not having a babysitter. I work for SEPTA and have a fairly good job, but since being out, it's been hard to pay rent and get the things needed for everyday life, as well as bills and house items. I'm a single parent and I'm very young. This money will help us possibly get back on our feet and be comfortable for the next few weeks until I'm back. I made the amount as low as possible as I understand we all have life going on, especially during the holidays. I'm working as hard as I can. Please help us stay comfortable; we appreciate anything. All helps.

[synbiosys]

So, I’m not proud of it, but I’m back to ask for help again. Above is the link to my Ko-Fi account; I can accept donations via Stripe and Paypal; I don’t have a preference of which method you use. Below is a more detailed explanation of the events that have led to my current predicament; it’s not entirely necessary to understand, but it should make sense of why this happened to me.

I’m dealing with some health problems and a recent car accident and I need help paying my bills for the next few months while I use that time to finish incomplete coursework for classes I took last year. In case it’s not clear, an “Incomplete” is a grade that can be given by instructors at some schools in situations where a student wasn’t able to complete a major assignment for a class due to circumstances outside their control, and allows students a pre-determined amount of time to finish that work beyond the end of the course. I had a plan for covering my expenses with a summer job at the Oregon State University Arthropod Collection (OSAC) while I finished the incomplete work, but the nature of my health issues, an outbreak of fleas, and a car accident have all prevented me from making it work. Now I’m kind of trapped; the cost of living in Corvallis is too high for food stamps to last an entire month, I don’t have a car anymore, and I’ll probably end up homeless if I can’t pay October rent and also pay November rent on time. I’ve managed to find some work doing landscaping and yardwork in my neighborhood, but I’ve realized that it’s impossible to make enough money and also handle the incomplete coursework; focusing on the former will impact the completion of my degree in June, while focusing on the latter will likely result in homelessness. The loss of my car is exacerbating all of this, in part because I live further away from all of the stores/banks/etc. in Corvallis, and public transit here is not very good.

Since late 2022, I’ve been experiencing sleep apnea-like health problems arising from swollen turbinate glands. I have some known allergies, but they’ve never caused swollen turbinate glands. The impact on my sleep quality became so severe that I had to resort to nasal strips every night. I saw doctors about this problem as early as spring of 2022, but none of them were helpful; most of them didn’t listen to me, and none of them considered trying any kind of testing. This ineptitude continued even after directly asking my primary doctor about autoimmune conditions and how we could test for them. Despite how obviously informative blood samples can be, nobody suggested a blood test. I finally lost my patience and demanded they give me a blood test for hypothyroidism at the end of August. Lo and behold, my thyroid hormone levels were an order of magnitude out of the normal range. Autoimmune problems run in my mother’s family, and it’s likely that I have Hashimoto’s thyroiditis; this disease is rarer in men, and the symptoms appear very gradually. While I can understand how this would delay detection of the disease, there were FIVE different doctors who saw me in relation to the sleep/allergy problems and none of them considered a blood test. I started taking levothyroxine the same day as the test results, but before being treated, my symptoms became so severe that my ADHD medication stopped working, my OCD symptoms went out of control, and I was experiencing severe brain fog. This is what forced me to request incomplete grades for my courses; I was trying to complete coursework despite all of this, and I was barely able to keep up. Once treatment begins, it takes at least a month to take effect, so my symptoms didn’t start improving until early October. Most recently, I found out that I needed to increase my dosage, but thyroid problems often have complex consequences, and any changes to the dose of the medication will result in unwanted side effects.

My original plan for this summer was to work at OSAC to cover my expenses while I tackled the incomplete coursework. I calculated the gross income I’d need to meet my expenses, and working 30 hours a week at this position well exceeded that amount. My duties as a curatorial assistant change slightly depending on the tasks at hand, but because I am paid from grant money, I must work efficiently, accurately, and in an organized manner. Because I have ADHD, extra measures are necessary in order to meet these requirements. I’ve worked this job intermittently since 2018, so I know how prevent my ADHD symptoms from interfering with my work. Because of the failures by my doctors to address my health problems, I was already struggling to arrive at work on time by June. By July, my symptoms had worsened to the point that I was no longer able to focus on work consistently, voluntarily cutting some days short because I wasn’t accomplishing much, and continuing to work in that state was inherently a waste of grant money. By August I could only make it to work sporadically. As a result, I missed most of the income I could have earned for August and September of this year. I was able to make up for some of this impact by selling old trading cards and video games from childhood, but that money didn’t last very long.

I was also confronted with a flea infestation that suddenly appeared in August. I rent a bedroom in a house with housemates; we tried to eradicate them ourselves, but the landlord suddenly informed us in early September that he hired an exterminator, who was arriving in less than 24 hours. I have some pet reptiles and pet invertebrates I needed to protect from pesticide exposure, so I suddenly had to move my pets to a friend’s house. I also had to re-arrange my bedroom to accommodate the exterminators. Based on the chemicals that were used, the only way I could make room safe again for my pets was by mopping the floor in my bedroom and the adjacent hallway three times. This ultimately cost me four days, and then the exterminators came back in early October, which forced me to repeat the process.

As if this wasn’t enough, I had a serious car accident in late September that annihilated my car and left me with severe lacerations to my left arm and a fracture in my thumb. The car spun out and flipped in the process, landing in the opposite lane. If another car had been about to pass me, it would have caused a direct collision at around 55 mph, and I probably wouldn’t have survived that. I realized the danger immediately and crawled out of the car, but most of the other possible outcomes would have involved my demise. I’m very lucky, but it took almost a month for the lacerations to heal, and one of them was deep enough to cause nerve damage, which hasn’t completely healed yet. My left hand has healed enough for me to use it, but I’m still having some issues with my thumb.

I wish I could say that I had help from my family, but my parents were impacted by both of the recent hurricanes that made landfall in western Florida. Even before the hurricanes, my parents weren’t really willing to understand what I was dealing with. I grew up in an abusive household; my sister and I were neglected by our parents, and we experienced emotional abuse from them as young adults. This is particularly true of my father, who himself is the product of a highly abusive upbringing. Unfortunately, research on the dynamics of child abuse has shown that children from abusive households often suffer a lack of economic mobility relative to children from more supportive family backgrounds as a result of mental health impacts. This has absolutely been the case with my sister and I; both of us are well into our 30s, and neither of us is anywhere close to long-term financial stability. That’s why it was deeply hurtful to hear my father blame me for being unable to fly to Florida on a whim to help him clean up the house, blame me for paying $950 a month for rent, and shame me for being 35 years old without a “stable job”. Both of my parents visited me in Corvallis in late July; they could tell that I was struggling, they apologized for neglecting me, and they told me they’d be more supportive, but apparently everything they said to me then must have been an act.  

Hopefully, this explanation sufficiently articulates the situation I’ve ended up in. I almost have enough money to pay my October rent, and I need to have my November rent paid by 11/5. I would have tried using Ko-Fi sooner, but in the interest of upholding my own responsibility, I wanted to exhaust my other options before resorting to donations again

[spookyscarydemonbabe]

Late Showing

Summary- After a work shift you find Gareth all by himself, waiting for someone that never showed. Although you’ve had your differences, you can’t help but want to make him feel better.

Genre- Fluff

Warnings- None c:

Tag List- @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @munsonology @aidansloth @esme-viridian @morganwrites12672 @hawkinsmafia

(my tag list is always open, if you’d like to be added please let me know 💋)

Word Count- 2.8k

You yawned as you adjusted yourself in the uncomfortable velvet lined chair, head rested on your hand, not paying attention to anything that was going on around you. Being the ticket girl at the movies wasn’t a very exciting job, especially during those days of the week where you were basically getting paid to sit around and look pretty. But, it was a job that paid, and that’s all that mattered. It was just surprising for it to be this slow on a Friday.

You still tried your best to be alert, paying attention to every sound just in case it was anyone trying to make you do your job. Your ears perked up at the sounds of a few familiar laughs.

Every Friday after their DnD session, the older boys from Hellfire Club would usually stop by for a late night showing of whatever horror or comedy movie looked the most interesting. They were decently friendly, save for a few normal stupid teenage boy comments and stereotypical ‘boy humor’ that didn’t exactly translate all that well to girls. They were all relatively nice with you, they’ve seen you once or twice a week for the last six months so it was normal to have a conversation with them every now and then. But somehow, every week, one of them made it seem like it was his mission to piss you off.

At least, that’s what you took from your interactions with him.

And seeing him walking up to your booth with his hands on his pockets and a smirk on his face told you he was definitely going to try and get you today. Good thing you were stubborn enough to get him first.

“(y/n).” He said with a smile as he approached the booth with the other boys behind him.

“Gareth.” You smiled to him and looked just past him to smile at his friends, “Boys. You’re here awful early, aren’t you supposed to be jerking each other off in the drama room right about now?” You smirked to him.

The smirk dropped off Gareths face as he heard the boys try to stifle their chuckles at your comment.

“…We finished early.”

He only realized the error of his last words after the boys laughed harder behind him.

“Is that right?” You giggled, “What are you guys seeing today?”

“What’s playing?”

“Well,” You said, “if you look at the marquee that’s right above my head, it’ll tell you what’s playing.”

“Wow, bitchier than normal today are we?” Gareth laughed to himself.

“Only for you, sweetheart.” You said with an eye roll.

“Ignore him (y/n),” Eddie said as he shoved Gareth aside, “we’ll take four for The Fly.”

“Ooh, that’s a good one!” You smiled and tore off four tickets from the roll beside you, “Lots of gross stuff, really good body horror.”

You handed Eddie the tickets as he gave you the $20 bill from his pocket and he tore them each away as he handed them to the guys.

“You’ve seen it?” Gareth asked with a scoff, “How?”

“Maybe because i work here, idiot.”

Gareth wasn’t even given a chance to respond before getting his arm tugged away by Eddie into the theater.

You giggled and rolled your eyes to yourself, sitting back in your seat and waiting for the next customers to come up and purchase their tickets.

Your constant back and forth with one another couldn’t be traced back to one specific incident, they’ve been happening for so long you couldn’t remember who said what first or even how it began, but it eventually became a highlight of your shifts.

You’d be sitting in that booth for hours, nothing to entertain you except the rare occasion when there’s actual work to do or if you managed to bring in a book or magazine with you. As soon as you saw those boys pile out of whoever’s car they drove in and you saw the familiar red vest on Gareth, you couldn’t help but be excited for whatever nonsense he had to spew at you that day.

You didn’t hate each other. You certainly didn’t like one another, but you didn’t hate him. It was all innocent fun.

A week later, you were in the same position.

Bored, stuck at work in that little booth out front just waiting for the boys to show up again for their normal friday night routine.

You checked your watch and noticed it was later than normal for them, usually they were there around 4-5 pm, but as it approached closer and closer to 7 you figured they probably just decided to switch things up for the night. There wasn’t anything that great showing anyways.

Until you saw a familiar car pull into the lot.

You were glad to see them again, and finally be able to have a little bit of interaction with someone after being stuck alone in that little booth. But when you saw just one person step out of the car and approach the booth, you let out a gentle sigh.

Gareth walked up to the booth with a smile on his face, pulling out a $10 bill from his pocket and placing it onto the counter,

“Two for Chopping Mall.”

You took the $10 and glanced behind him before reaching around and pulling two tickets off of the reel,

“Why do you need two if it’s just you?” You asked, sliding him the tickets, “I figured the guys would be with you.”

“I asked them to stay back this time.” He gave you a cocky smile and took the tickets, “I’m meeting someone. A girl.” He shrugged, his eyes quickly scanning you for your reaction.

“Oh. Alright,” You shrugged, giving him a smile, “enjoy the movie then.”

Your reaction threw him off, and you could tell by the way his eyebrows raised ever so slightly, but you didn’t pay any mind to it. Gareth smiled back and wandered into the theater without another word.

The next two hours went as they usually did for you, handing out tickets to the various families and couples for their friday night excursions to the theater, though there was one thought that you couldn’t get out of your head. There were plenty of guys that came alone, but not one girl had walked inside by herself. You could be wrong, she probably just wandered in when you weren’t looking or came in through a different entrance.

Either way, you wouldn’t let yourself dwell on it for much longer.

You didn’t like Gareth, and he didn’t like you. That’s how it’s always been, and how it always will be.

But when it reached 9:15, and you noticed a crowd of people leaving the theater as you got the little booth ready to close up for the night. Tickets were put away, the little ‘sorry, we’re closed’ sign was turned in the window, and all the cash was locked up for the managers to count. As you switched the light off in the booth, you walked into the theater by the connecting door, but there was a little pit in your heart as the door closed behind you.

Gareth was still sitting on one of the benches inside, alone, in near darkness from the lights inside switching off as it got closer and closer to closing time.

You slowly walked over to him, and as you looked closer at his face it made you regret any time the two of you had one of your little spats with one another. He was sitting there looking like a kicked puppy, waiting all this time for a girl that never even showed up. You didn’t like him, you were so certain, but seeing anyone in that predicament was enough to pull at your heartstrings.

“Gareth?” You asked quietly, catching him by surprise as he jumped slightly in his seat.

“Oh, hey. Just, uh…” He cleared his throat and showed you the tickets still in his hand, “waiting. I think she’ll be here soon, we’ll just see the later showing…”

“Gareth,” You sighed, “we’re closing. The movies over…” He pursed his lips and gave you a slow nod, looking back down at the tickets he held in his lap, “I’m sorry-“

“No, it’s ok.” He stood up quickly, shoving the now useless tickets into his pocket as he cut you off, “i’ll just, uh… See you next friday.”

You gave him a small but friendly smile as he stepped past you, and he copied it.

In that moment there was a switch that flipped inside you.

Seeing him so defeated, all alone waiting for someone who probably wasn’t going to show anyways.

“Hey!” You called out to him as you took a few steps closer. He stopped and turned to you. “Did you still want to see that movie?”

Gareth shrugged,

“I guess so. But you said you’re closed?”

“I work here.” You giggled, “Come with me.”

You grasped his hand and led him down the quiet, dimly lit halls into one of the empty theaters. The lights along the sides of the walls were still on, though it was strange to see a theater so quiet and empty.

“Sit wherever you want,” You gently let go of his hand, though it felt strange to not have something filling that space, “I���ll be back in just a minute. Want a snack or something?”

Gareth shrugged again as he looked over the empty rows of seats,

“Popcorn is always nice.” He said to you with a smile. You could already tell he was feeling better.

“Popcorn.” You nodded, “No problem. I’ll be back in a few minutes, sit wherever you want.” You smiled and wandered out of the theater.

Gareth looked around for a moment before spotting a pair of seats right in the middle. He slowly walked up and got comfortable, smiling to himself as he sat there waiting patiently for you.

It was strange.

You’d never been nice to him, at least not this nice. Gareth didn’t know what it was, if it was you doing this out of sympathy or not, but he didn’t mind it. When he looked past all those childish arguments the two of you had, they seemed almost pointless. Behind the mask of insults and one liners, he could see that you were just a nice girl. And he was hoping you’d see the same for him too.

The two of you had never been alone in any sense of the word, the only time you had was during the five minutes of words you’d exchange over him or one of the guys buying tickets. It felt so weird. There were a thousand and one outcomes he could’ve imagined up from the two of you being around each other alone, each one of them ending up with either him having a black eye or you getting fired for ‘unlawful conduct’ with a paying customer. Never like this.

His train of thought was interrupted as the lights along the side walls started to dim, and the screen started to show the beginning static of a film reel. Just as the trailers started playing he heard the theater doors open and soon saw you with a bucket of popcorn in your arms.

“Here,” You said with a smile as you handed him the bucket, “I hope you like extra butter and salt, cause that’s what i put on it.”

“Who doesn’t?” He smiled back.

Your attention was soon grabbed by the lit screen as trailers started rolling for the newest upcoming movies. It was quiet between the two of you as you sat and watched the screen, but it was in no way an uncomfortable silence. Rather, it felt oddly comforting.

It was nice to be sitting there with him, and without even noticing all that anger that you had always felt for him was melting away. As the screen turned back to black, you snuck a glance over at him. It was quick, and you were certain he hadn’t noticed as you turned your head back to the screen.

But he did. And he liked you looking at him.

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t try and sneak a few glances at you as the movie went on, and though it was quiet, you could almost feel it every time he did. It was nice.

It was so strange. You had never gotten along in any sense of the word before. Each time you saw him or he saw you, you had to prepare yourself to come back at anything he said, but this was the longest the two of you had gone without making a quip at the other. You liked it.

He was actually quite nice to be around. It felt comforting to have him there, especially during a scary movie.

You glanced over his way one last time before slowly leaning in to whisper,

“I’m sorry that girl never showed.”

Gareth looked to you with a thankful smile,

“Thanks.” As you looked back to the screen he leaned in closer to you, “I’m sorry for always being a dick to you.”

You quickly looked back to him. His apology caught you off guard. It wasn’t unwanted by any means, you deserved an apology for the things he’s said to you. But you knew he deserved one too, you weren’t going to deny he’d gotten the same remarks from you.

“I’m sorry for always being a bitch to you.”

You both apologetically smiled to one another.

Your arguments were what made your ‘relationship’ worthwhile, it was nice to have someone to lash out on after a difficult time dealing with customers that made it seem like it was their destiny to be a pain in your ass. But it felt even nicer to know how sorry he was for everything. It felt like being nice to each other was going to be a lot easier than being each others punching bags.

“No hard feelings?” Gareth whispered to you as he offered over the bucket of popcorn.

You couldn’t help but stifle back a quick laugh as you grabbed a few pieces of popcorn,

“No hard feelings.”

You smiled at each other once more, your face turning back to face the screen as you ate the few pieces of popcorn he had offered. But you could still sense his eyes on you.

Gareth took a slow, quiet breath, as if he was nervous about something. He leaned towards your ear to whisper once more,

“This is nice.”

As you turned to him, a blush arose onto your cheeks and a smile tugged at the corners of your lips. He was still so close, your noses nearly brushing as you turned your head. Your eyes glanced over his face as the light from the screen illuminated his face ever so slightly in the darkness of the theater. And you had to admit, this lighting made him look a way you had never imagined yourself seeing him in.

He just looked so good.

If you had to be watching a scary movie with anyone, you were glad it was him.

You nodded gently, the smile on your lips getting harder to hide as you could just barely see the pink on his cheeks too.

You both quickly turned away once more, each of you hiding your red faces and wide smiles from the other.

It wasn’t a date, but it was sure starting to feel like one.

A few moments passed by, the tension between the two of you could be cut with a knife, and as you sensed Gareth start to move next to you it definitely caught your attention. Though he wasn’t fidgeting in his seat as you assumed.

His arms gently raised up over his head, and you tried so hard to stifle your giggles the moment you heard an overacted yawn coming from him. And just as you suspected, as his arms came back down, one found its way laid across your shoulders.

You looked to him and quietly giggled as he looked to his lap with an embarrassed, but comfortable, laugh.

“That was so lame.” You said as you raised your hand to your lips to quiet your giggles.

Gareth looked to you with that smile still on his face, his hand gently moving over your shoulder,

“But it worked, didn’t it?”

Your giggles slowly ceased and your lips pursed,

“Shut up.” You said with a smile and an eye roll as you looked back to the screen, your head moving to rest on his shoulder as he pulled you in closer.

Whatever this was between the two of you, it wasn’t a date. But you were hoping he would ask you on one soon.

[eclipixels]

His Preformer

Summary: A wealthy and privileged classmate, Coriolanus Snow, visits a strip club with friends. Unexpectedly, he discovers you performing on stage. A little OOC Coryo.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Your hands shook as you looked at your paycheck from your current job waitressing. This wasn't going to be enough to cover your groceries this month if they went towards the bills.

You'd been debating for some time now on finding a new job but it was very hard. Especially with your schedule.

"Hey girl," your regular customer came in.

"Just a milkshake, I got my paycheck today and I'm trying not to splurge." The customer spoke. Her name was Sarah and she had become a regular customer at the local cafe where you worked. Every morning, she would stroll in, her vibrant personality shining like a beacon. She was friendly, chatty, and it didn't take long for Sarah and you to strike up a casual friendship.

"I don't know how much longer I can keep working here. My paycheck just isn't cutting it, and I'm drowning in bills." You spoke as you worked up the vanilla caramel milkshake.

Sarah sighed, "I totally understand where you're coming from, girl. I used to be in the same boat."

You raised an eyebrow in surprise. "You were? I had no idea. What did you do to change things?"

Sarah leaned in, lowering her voice. "I work as a stripper at the club down Stover street, it turned out to be a game-changer for me. The pay is much better, and I have more control over my income. Plus, it's given me the financial stability I was struggling to find before."

You consider Sarah's words and are intrigued, to say the least. Are you sure you wanna go into this?

"How do I start?" You ask.

♡

A low whistle drags through Casey's lips once he spots the dimly lit stage. Casey was one of Coriolanus's friends along with Sejanus. Coriolanus quickly glanced around the club, observing the tables and wasted men. He followed Sejanus and Casey into the heart of the building, where red LED lights buzzed as it flared through the perimeter of the ceiling.

"Table for three?" The lady at the desk asked, pen hovering over a clipboard. The boys look over at Coriolanus, and he gives them a slight shake of his head in response. They already knew he would say no. He says it every time. They still ask.

"Just two." Sejanus answers.

"Just so you know, we only take cash here." The lady said as she looked up past her computer.

"Shit- You can cover this, right, Snow?" Casey gave him Sheepish smile.

"Yeah." Coriolanus replied, pulling the $530 out his wallet and handing it over to the woman with the tight sleek bun.

"You're all set, right this way!" She smiles as she escorts the two capitol boys into the VIP private rooms.

"Great." Coriolanus whispers to himself as he is now left all alone. Despite the type of people his friends are, it was out of Coriolanus's element to be at a strip club. But, here he was.

He decided to leave and pick up his friends when they were done. While he was starting to leave, he scanned the dimly lit room looking for an exit. His eyes widened with surprise when his gaze landed on a familiar face across the venue.

You, a fellow classmate from the academy, were on the stage, captivating the audience with your graceful moves. Your hair cascaded down your back, and your confidence was undeniable. Coriolanus remembered you as the easily angered and studious girl who sat next to him in statistics, not whatever this was. What a surprise, he thought.

He had always found himself behaving childishly with you with both your bickering and arguing. He swore that he always tried not to engage in it but he couldn't help it, it was so fun to tease and mess with you.

He couldn't help but watch you perform. Thank God there weren't many people here on Monday nights, but even with the very few people that were here, watching you, something burned in his chest. He didn't like this feeling.

After your performance ended, he made his way to the bar, trying to blend in with the crowd. Ordering a drink, he formulated a plan. He wanted no one else to see you like that. He looked at all the university boys and middle aged men in the crowd. They didn't deserve you. But, neither did he and he knew that. However, that didn't help the pang in his chest.

Coriolanus knew if you saw him, you'd kick him in the balls before he could even get out a word. So, he spotted a rack of masks for sale near the entrance and selected one that covered most of his face. It was exactly what he needed.

With the mask now concealing his identity, Coriolanus approached the reception lady and discretely handed her a wad of cash. "I'd like to purchase a week's worth of dances for that performer," he said softly, avoiding eye contact.

The reception lady, who was used to such requests, nodded and discreetly noted down the transaction. Coriolanus's heart raced as he watched her send the message backstage. You wouldn't know who had paid for your week.

As you finished your shift and emerged from the back, you were met by Linda, the receptionist, who handed you an envelope. "A masked man bought a week's worth of dances from you," She explained. "He's waiting in room 7"

Your eyes widened in disbelief as you took the envelope. You had no idea who could have done this. You opened it, revealing a substantial amount of cash.

Back in the room, Coriolanus was dealing with the consequences of his overthinking, debating whether or not to just leave a note saying he didn't want the dances and to accept the payment as a gift. But, he knew if he did that, you wouldn't appreciate it. You were a girl who only enjoyed the fruits of your labor and would never accept anything out of charity. Stubborn. That, and the fact that you would probably still perform, so he had to take up your slot so no one else could see you.

Coriolanus knew this was selfish and maybe even weird to some people. But it's a win for both parties, so what's wrong with it? You're still making cash.

The door opens and it snaps Coriolanus out of his thinking.

"So, You're the guy who rented my whole week out?" Your voice boomed through the confines of the room, he always heard you before he saw you.

God, there you were. Y/n L/n, and you were practically dripping in gold. Coriolanus never wanted an incarnation of something so desperately as in this moment. He scanned you from head to toe and a smile broke out on his lips as he watched you tap your foot and cross your arms.

"Yeah, got a problem with that– what was your name again?" He speaks.

"Angel" You huffed, not sparing him a glance. He stifles a laugh at your announcement.

"What's so funny?" You quirked a brow, hands now dropping to your hips.

"Nothing. It's just- you're anything but an angel." He laughed, throwing his head back as he leaned back on his palms.

"Who do you think you are?" You scowl, cheeks turning a shade of red, and he couldn't help but find it amusing. This whole situation humored him.

"Clock's ticking, babe." He takes a sip of scotch, gesturing with his fingers to the cool, metal pole.

"You want a show?" You smirk, walking over to the pole. "I'll give You a show" your voice saccharine as the words rolled off your tongue.

Your thighs gripped around the metal as you lifted both your feet up and twirled your body in a spiral. You gracefully flipped yourself and came back down, the muscle on your thighs and arms flexing as you did.

"How's that for a show?" You smirked, fixing yourself into a position known as the skater pose.

"Impressive. How about you strip for me now? I mean, that is what I paid for." He started to get cocky.

"Of course." You bit your lip in annoyance and gave a fake smile, swallowing back a snarky remark. You took off your fitted but revealing top and skirt, leaving you in a spaghetti strap crop with shorts that were given to you by the staff.

"All of it." He commanded sternly, resting his chin on his palm with a lustful grin. Your lips curved as you stripped into only your red two-piece lingerie. Unbeknownst to you, his favorite color.

"What a sight for sore eyes.." Coriolanus mumbled low, his heart starting to race. You looked extraordinary, like an image of a goddess and he couldn't believe it was all in front of him like that. He felt so unworthy but- fuck, was he so greedy towards wanting you.

"What? Got nothing to say now?" You teased. It took a few seconds, but suddenly, he grabbed your waist and stood up, his free hand going up to cup your face.

"Y’know, red is my favorite color, pretty girl" He states, face inches apart. So close. You could feel the rise and fall of his chest against yours.

You didn't know what came over you, or what you were feeling for this stranger. Why did it feel like your heart was ready to jump out every time his hands wandered over your exposed skin?

"Who are you?" You ask finally, resting your hand on his neck. Gosh, you didn't realize how tall he was until now, or how his curly blonde locks of hair fell over his masked face. Who was he? Who was this man that bought out your entire week and indirectly helped you be able to pay rent for the next four months? The sound of a phone buzzing brought you back to reality from your thoughts

"Sorry darlin'," he playfully pouts, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear to get one last good look at your enchanting face.

"But, I gotta go. My friends are done." The mystery customer sighed sympathetically before grabbing his coat and leaving you inside the private room like nothing happened between you two.

You didn't know much about this job but what you did know was people came here for lustful reasons yet you felt something motivated by a different emotion behind that man.

Who was he?

♡ - a few days later - ♡

The sleep deprived woman, you, walked into class, the click of your shoes alerting the blonde haired boy whom you classified as an, 'arrogant, stereotypical asshole'.

"What are you looking at?" You snap, noticing his gaze on your ass. You were contemplating whether or not you wanted to stab him with your pencil right then and there.

"Nothing" he muttered looking away, completely dazed as his mind worked through the flashbacks of his hands kneading the supple flesh of your ass between his palms as he fucked you.

"Dumbass," You muttered to yourself.

"You're not much of an angel yourself, either.” He narrowed his eyes at you.

No one else would've thought anything of this. It was common for Coriolanus Snow and Y/n L/n to bicker the whole damn day if they ever had the time. So no one else caught it.

Except for you yourself. Dread set in as you tried not to overthink the word he used. Angel. There's no way in hell anyone knew about your new side job. How could anyone, you’d only been with one guy ever since you started. Shit, he's the only guy on your roster there.

You sighed and did you best to get over it. Besides, You'll confront the mystery customer tonight when he comes again.

In the meantime, oblivious to you, Coriolanus needed to do something about the tightening of his pants. Fuck.

♡

"Starting to think you’re wearing red more often on purpose" the mystery man spoke.

He was back there again for the fifth time this week. Same old routine and although you knew not to have sex with the customers, you couldn't deprive yourself the pleasure that came with getting fucked so damn good. You craved to have him inside you.

You roll your eyes, pretending not to be flustered by the little compliments he always gave you. It was hard for you to decipher if he was being genuine or not. Besides, what would it matter if this guy knew about you little infatuation with him. It's not like something could be done about it.

"But.." He whispers next to your ear, resting his chin on your shoulder. You shivered as a chill ran down your spine with the touch of his index finger roaming along your bare skin.

"I think," he glides the flat of his palm down from your arm to the small of your back.

"It suits you way better off." He finishes his sentence by placing a delicate kiss to your neck while unclasping your bra. The fabric fell to the floor, and a gasp issued out from your lips.

"I don't even know your name and I could get in so much trouble." You spoke as if the words that left your mouth mattered to you. You let this man fuck you before so many times within the past few days, so why was it different this time?

"You're saying you don't want me?" He pouts, trying his best to not cum in his pants from you ass rubbing against his crotch when you bent over to pick up your bra.

"Well..." You bit your lips in shame. You did, you really fucking wanted to.

"Just say the words, Angel," He whined. "and I'm all yours,"

"I-" You choked. Your brain was screaming yes.

"Don't think of the consequences." He reassured, trying his best to conceal the want in his tone.

"Okay." You answered breathly, giving in to your desires.

"Okay? Are you certain?" He wanted to make sure. "You can always stop whenever you want–" He was cut off by the abrupt kiss from your honey coated lips.

"Yes." You firmly stated. Coriolanus grinned mischievously before hoisting you up, legs naturally wrapping around his waist. Your cognitive thinking went haywire as soon as he snaked his arms around you, holding you steady.

His tongue explored the inside of your mouth and you could taste the liquor that stained his tongue. You knew he was muscular but you never truly took into account how strong that made him. His muscles flexed as he went lower and lower down your body, trailing sloppy wet kisses.

"So" kiss.

"Beautiful" kiss.

The mystery man finally placed you down on the counter of the mini bar, falling to his knees. You didn't know why, but your cheeks were burning red. No person you had sex with ever had you this damn flustered.

His kisses on your lower abdomen continued. Once he reached your thighs, your heart started to race ever faster. His platinum tufts of hair pooling against your pelvis.

"You wet for me?" He whispers into your skin, breath fanning against it and hands dangerously getting closer to your core.

"No…" You stuttered, clearly embarrassed by how much your body wanted this. Wanted him.

"Oh?" He lifted a brow as he moved your panties to the side and ran two fingers down your cunt, picking up the natural lubricant that was practically pooling.

"Why’d you lie to me, Darling?" His lips form a fake frown before he licks your juices off his fingers.

"You know I only wanna give you pleasure" He dragged his warm tongue against your folds. You couldn't help but let out a cry when his tongue flicked your clit.

"Is this good?" He asks, the words vibrating against your heat.

"Mhm," you moan, hands finding their way into his hair and using it to anchor yourself against his face, grinding your hips down on it.

"Fuck!" You moan out in pleasure. You’ve never felt this confident with a guy before. You guessed it was something about not fully knowing his identity that gave you more courage. That you can walk out of here and never see him again in your life. He only existed here and something about that made you less fearful.

"You close?" His words were muffled against your needy cunt.

"Yes." You gasp out. Suddenly, he pulls away from the grip between your thighs.

"What? Why'd You do that?" You confront frustrated.

"Well, it's not fair for you to come before you even touch me." He answers arrogantly. What the hell was wrong with him? How could he go from being so sweet to such a jerk?

"Fuck your feelings," You groan before undoing his jeans, about to pull his boxers down too but he catches your wrists before you gets the chance.

"Just what do you think you're doing?" He stares at you with something unreadable in his eyes.

"Since you're all about fairness, I'm gonna give myself a reward for all the hard work I've been doing." You state as if it's a matter of fact.

"No, what's fair is all that hard work has been rewarded with several bands." He chastised.

"So I can't enjoy my job?" You scoffed with a weak argument.

"Nothing in your job description says anything about fucking. In fact, You're strictly told not to." He chuckled. You didn’t know that he knew about the rules, how naïve.

"So you want to stop?" You challenged. Gosh, why were you so difficult?

"Do you want me to stop?" He fired back with the same tone. You turned your head to the side and scowled immaturely as a response

"That's what I thought," he conceited. He picked you up and placed you down on the loveseat. You peeked through the corner of your eye as he pulled down his boxers.

He was touching himself slowly but he really didn't need to with how hard he already was. You squeezed your legs and gripped the seat from sexual frustration. This was fucking torture. He knew how bad you wanted him and took that to his advantage.

"Want something, Angel?" He taunted.

"Need" You mumble the word.

"Oh, I know,” He mocks, pulling you legs closer to him which made you yelp in surprise. You were entranced with how he handled you, finding the delicate balance between rough and gentle to be perfect. Coriolanus committed to memory every aspect of your body, from its curves to the way it responded to his touch.

"Gonna fuck you ‘till you forget your name," He groans as he aligns his cock with your entrance.

"Yeah?" You breathe.

"Mhm, gonna fuck you so good, you'll forget any other person who's ever had the privilege of touching you like this." He says before sinking himself into your body. You didn't realize you were holding your breath until you let out an exasperated sigh.

"Tell me how much you love it." He throws his head back, hips grinding smoothly against you like sweet molasses.

"So much," your words were barely coherent and his pace unforgiving. The sound of skin slapping filled the room, and filthy noises spilled out from both your throats.

"Tell me how bad you want it." His voice was no longer as rough as it was but instead had been replaced with neediness and whimpering.

"Till I can't walk." Your mind goes blank, and you are starting to babble.

"You look so cute going dumb on my dick." He coos, swooping his head down to place sloppy kisses. You squeeze your eyes shut from the sensitive sensations of his teeth on your collarbone.

"Faster," you whine, clawing your fingers on his back.

"If I go any faster, this loveseat is gonna break," he replied, and he was right. The furniture wasn't very sturdy.

"But, if we take this to my place, maybe I could." He flashes a boyish smile.

"In your dreams, mystery man." You roll your eyes at him.

"Mystery man?" He quirks a brow, pace starting to slow.

"Well, you never really told me your name." You moan out, sweat starting to bead on your skin at the slow dragging of his cock against your walls.

"I really thought you'd know me by this point, Y/n." His lips curved into a cheshire grin and you felt your heart stop. What did he just call you?

"How do you know my name?" Your mouth parts.

The man sighs before saying, "Y/n L/n, you’re from the districts but somehow managed to attend the Academy, you’re studying economics and you sit next to me first and fourth hour."

"How do you know all this– wait. Did you say we go to school together?" Dread set into you, and you quickly pulled the blonde haired man off of you.

There's no fucking way. You went to school with this guy? Fuck, fuck, fuck. You were screwed.

For a moment, everything was silent. Coriolanus's amused look faded. All there remained was worry etched onto his face. You stood there, face twisted into that of fear and concern of the unknown. Your hands gently came up, and your fingertips grazed the plastic of the mask.

"Who are you?" You asked for the dozenth time in an almost rhetorical way. What you really meant was who was this guy that you got yourself so tangled up with.

Coriolanus shuts his eyes as you took it off. The object clatters onto the floor, and your hand quickly clasps over your mouth.

"Coriolanus? You fucking Capitol brat!" You scream. "You need to fucking leave, I don't care how much you paid, leave." Within seconds a switch got flipped off in your brain and you knew nothing but anger.

"C'mon, darling. Don't be like that." He pleaded with a frown.

"Be like what? Angry? Upset? Enraged? Because I am! I am furious, Coriolanus. Who the hell do you think you are? I bet you already told all your little other egotistical jerk friends about this. How many people know? You know what, I don't even care. I can't fucking believe this right now, I just–" This time, he cuts you off and places his lips against yous like his life depended on it. He wanted you to feel everything he felt through that kiss.

You stood shocked and fought off the way your body wanted to melt into the kiss. You wanted to give in so bad, so so bad.

He pulled away and trailed down your jaw, and you let him. His lips felt so delicate and plush against your body, like they belonged there.

"I didn't tell anyone." He whispers gently, voice fragile and genuine.

"Find that hard to believe,"

"Y/n, please." He begged, and that's when you really looked into his eyes and read his face. He looked sincere and like he was about to break.

"I know you think I'm an asshole," he starts.

"I don't think, I know." You interrupt. He sucks his teeth as a response.

"But, I would never do something like that to you. When have I ever done something like that to anyone?" He reasons with you.

"I guess... You're right." You admit. He was right, he never had done something like that. Maybe you had unjustly judged him. Now that you thought about it, you had no valid reason to hate him.

"That still doesn't answer my main question. Why? Why did you buy my whole week? Why me if it wasn't to embarrass me?" You spoke.

"I don't know, I don't know why I did it at first. But now, I just can't imagine you with anyone else. The thought of you touching anyone else or letting anyone else touch you, I don't want that." He shakes his head, not noticing how his body tensed up.

"You like me?" You question.

"Well, I don't just have sex with anyone." He frowns, a tad bit hurt.

"Doubt that." You mutter.

"I'm serious." The expression on his face is stone cold, and you could tell that he wasn't lying. Yet, you couldn't wrap your head around it. He was the mystery man? The same guy that had you weak in the knees and red in the face? The same guy that irked you every second of the day that he saw you at school?

"I believe you." You sigh, letting your crossed arms loosen and fall to your side.

"Do you still want me?" He asks, eyes looking up at you with desperation.

"Look, I'm sorry for flipping out, but I can't do this, especially with you of all people. You're lucky there's no sharp objects around me. But, fucking you would just be embarrassing to my self-woth." You proclaimed before turning around to pick up your clothes.

"Are you sure?" He asks, his whole demeanor changing. You stood back up and when you did, you felt your back against his chest and your ass pressed up against his cock that was still covered in your wetness.

"Because I remember quite fondly how bad you said you wanted me and how good it felt when I was so deep in you." His playful behavior returned, and his teasing touch was making its mark on your skin again.

"Whatever you're trying to do, it’s not gonna work." You defected, voice betraying you.

"Really?" He implored. "You don't want me anymore?"

You didn't respond, knowing that if you did, you wouldn't be able to lie. Not when he looked at you with those eyes.

"You're saying you don't wanna feel me in you again, fucking you over and over again?

You whimper in response, forgetting how to form sentences as you mind went in a haze of lust.

"Asked you a question, darling." He pressed on, giving a sharp and sudden nip to your ear with his teeth. He doesn't move, giving you some time to think.

"If we do this," You begin. "What will happen after?"

"Whatever you want." Coriolanus spoke with want and desire.

"You mean that?" You ask sternly to make sure.

"I really do." he says before kissing you once again, a form of reassurance. He couldn't ever get enough of you.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you’re in love with me." You spoke, clearly feeling the emotion he wanted the kiss to convey.

"Well, do you?"

"Do I what?" You ask confused.

"Know better." He restates.

"Coriolanus Snow, are you in love with me?" You gasp, holding a soft grasp on his shoulders.

"You have no idea..." He whispers lowly, anguish evident in his tone.

"Fine, we can do this. But I'm in charge, okay?" You clarify.

"Whatever you want, Darling." He spreads his legs for you and leans back. You get up and align yourself with his body once again before slowly sinking down onto him, hissing at the sensation.

Curses fall from his mouth, and gratification flows through him like tidal waves. He trembles underneath you, and each time you bounce back down on his thighs, it feels better than the last. He senses his mind on the verge of collapse every time, and he starts to short circuit. Pleasure has never been so satisfying as it rakes through both your bodies as you allow each other to be safely vulnerable.

♡

It's been two days since the incident and since you and Coriolanus both talked to each other. You said you needed some time to think after Coriolanus asked you if you wanted to formally court him. You weighed the pros and cons and how you wouldn't need to work at the club anymore.

"Hey, you coming to class?" The text on your phone read.

"Yes." You replied back to him. You made up your mind on your decision and plan to convey it to him in person when you meet face to face.

You walk into class and immediately notice how anxious the ivory haired man looked. His knee was bouncing, and his hand kept raking through his hair.

"Hey," You unintentionally startle him.

"Oh! Hi." He shoots you his classic Coriolanus Snow smile, charismatic and charming as ever. "You look gorgeous."

"I just got out of bed." You laugh at his attempt at flattery.

"I still think you're pretty."

"Well, thank you, Coryo." You smile before pulling out your chair and sitting down next to him. “You look pretty, too”

You catch the way his cheeks flush, but you don't mention it.

"Have you thought about what I said?" He asks, playing with the ring on his hand in anticipation, a habit he picked up since childhood.

“I have. Coriolanus, I think you're a pretty decent guy and all." You start off your sentence.

"You don't feel the same way?" He presses his lips into a line.

"Yeah." You sigh sympathetically, noticing how he didn’t catch the inauthenticity in your tone.

"It's fine, I understand." Coriolanus gave an understanding look, no matter how disappointed he actually was. What he didn't expect was the sudden laughter that followed after.

"I'm kidding! Yes, I'll be your girlfriend!" You throw your arms around his neck and give a quick kiss to his cheek.

"You're so cruel to me." He furrows his brows, "But worth it." He smiles back at you, engulfing you into his embrace.

[pappydaddy]

when i'm eighty (j.m.)

tv show/movie: outer banks | pairing: jj maybank x fem!pogue!reader

requested by a lovely anon as part of my 800 follower celebration

synopsis: y/n is exhausted and jj neglected the bike's gas tank. who knew it would lead to such a proclamation.

taglist: @luvhann | @thelakespoets  | @lonely-simp | @smarie7543 | @tenaciousperfectionunknown | @k-k0129 | @maybankslover | @taurusvic | @moralina | @verystarfishflower | @4dr1ana | @adr1an4 | @instabull | @poppet05 | @rottenstyx | @boxofsilentwords | @popeheywardssecretgf | @lexi-2004 | @i-always-come-back-xoxo | @rootbeerfaygo | @444lyra *line through your user means i could not tag you lovelies!

warnings: tears (exhausted) | karen situation mentioned | the lovely realities of a retail job

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- not my gif -

Sure, Pogue life was fun and relatively carefree, and Y/N wouldn’t trade her life for anything, but it did have its downfalls. Like when you see something you really like and you pick up extra shifts and work your ass off for it, but a Kook just has to ask their parents for it and boom - they have one they barely use or care for. Or when you accidentally spend too much money grocery shopping so now you have to pinch your pennies until next pay in two weeks. Or, like for Y/N right now, you have to work all day, every day because your crappy minimum wage job is severely understaffed and, even though they treat you horribly, you offer to pick up more shifts. 

  Y/N, right now, wasn’t too pleased with her status as a Pogue. Not when she is standing here, bored out of her mind and swaying on her feet as the middle aged Kook rambled on and on about something. Y/N wasn’t too sure what she was complaining about, truthfully, she stopped listening after the woman called her an incompetent child - which was the very first thing that came out of her pink smeared lips. 

  All she could actually focus on was how heavy her eyelids were, or how much she wanted to cut her feet off or just rip them right from her body. Or the dull ache that nestled itself right in the dip of her spine. Or how much she wishes she could just smash her kneecaps because, at this point, they were so tired and sore they were basically numb. It had been five days straight of her leaving school the second it was over and having her boyfriend, JJ, drive her to her work (a small hardware store), and then working to close. 

  She was exhausted, but she was falling behind on her road to buying a reliable car. Not the heap of rusted metal that has been sitting in her driveway for the past few months - completely broken. Luckily, because the owners did not want the possibility of being sued, they refused to let her work this weekend. That meant, once this woman was done with her tantrum, Y/N could get out of there and sleep for the foreseeable future. Well, at least until JJ had to get up for his shift delivering groceries tomorrow afternoon. She just hoped today wasn’t the one day JJ was late to pick her up. 

  “Mark my words, because you all know nothing, I will never come back here,” The lady slammed her hand against the counter Y/N stood at, the newly hired cashier shaking slightly behind her. “And I will be in contact with your manager and owner for reimbursement for any bills that come from this.” She sneered, gesturing to the empty bottle of antifreeze that was specifically made for diesel engines. That she put in her Land Rover. 

  “You have a nice night, the owner and manager will both be in after nine tomorrow morning.” Y/N drawled like a robot, ignoring the huff and snarky comment the woman made towards her for her lack of respect. There was no way in hell Y/N was apologising to her when Y/N and the manager were the ones who told the woman and her husband not to get that antifreeze, but her husband just wouldn’t listen. 

  “And I am telling them about your horrible behaviour towards me-” 

  “Ma’am,” Their night manager appeared from one of the aisles, looking annoyed. The clock had ticked by to read five minutes after close, meaning this woman was standing there ranting for over ten minutes. “We closed five minutes ago, if you have an issue, you can call and discuss this with our head manager and the owner tomorrow, but now you need to leave unless you want to front the money to pay us the overtime you are causing us because we won’t get paid.” He told her, pointing her towards the exit.

  She scoffed. “Of course I won’t pay you people to be incompetent at your jobs. I mean, how hard is it to sell people items? If anything, I should be getting money for you people for the damages you caused to my expensive Land Rover-”

  “Again, ma’am, you will have to bring that up with the people with more power than me,” The manager looked completely exhausted and annoyed with this woman. He grabbed the empty bottle from where she left it. “Now, you can either leave on your own or I will be contacting the authorities and they will remove you from the premises and you will be banned.” 

  He held out the empty bottle just before she snatched it, her nose turned up as she scoffed, turning on her heel and leaving out the door. “Okay, you two go, I will lock everything up.” He waved them off. Smiling thankfully, Y/N grabbed her thin sweater (which was JJ’s) and her empty plastic bottle of water, tossing it in the recycling bin.

  “Thank you, Gerry. Have fun tomorrow.” She waved bye to him as the new cashier trailed quietly behind her. Pulling the hoodie over her head, she left through the same door the woman had, seeing her fancy silver audi sitting in the parking lot. From inside, she could see her phone pressed to her ear as she yelled. 

  “Hey, sweets,” JJ greeted her, pushing off from the wall he leaned on. Y/N smiled, saying a quick ‘see you’ to the quiet girl as she bounded over towards her mother’s car. Her feet not moving, she held her arms open for JJ, signalling she wanted a hug. JJ complied, striding the short distance to her and wrapping his arms around her waist. Naturally, her arms rested on his shoulders, enjoying the relief and comfort his hug brought her. It was like every ache in her body left and the weight that was crushing her lifted. “Long night?” He asked, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

  She hummed. “Long week.” She corrected him, snuggling into his chest. He laughed lightly, not wanting to jostle her as she clung to him. 

  “As much as I would love to stay here hugging, we should really get you some food then to bed.” JJ started to pull away. Whining, she released him, the growling and uncomfortable feeling in her stomach too persistent to ignore, but her face remained planted into his chest. 

  “Carry me to the bike?” Her voice was muffled as she spoke. 

  “Sorry, sweets, the bike needs gas and I don’t get paid until next week.” He informed her, hands on her shoulders and pulling her face from his chest, just enough for him to see her face. Instantly, he was met by a pout and a whine from her. 

  She blinked at him, puppy dog eyes in full effect. “But I’m too tired to walk, JJ.” She told him. And looking at her, he could see she was. The eye Bags under her eyes were so deep that the concealer couldn’t even hide them. Her shoulder drooped so much it looked like she was lugging a bookbag that weighed fifty tons on them. And, not to mention, the way her eyes blinked lazily, looking a second away from closing in slumber. 

  Aside from her appearance, he could tell over the past few days she was completely exhausted. The way she kept falling asleep on his shoulder at lunch or as they skipped their respective classes in favour of cuddles. She only skipped classes when she wasn’t sleeping properly or she was bored. The way she was extra clingy (like right now). Or how she nearly face-planted into her breakfast this morning. “I know, Sweets. But the bike didn’t even have enough gas to drive here.” 

  Sighing, tears welled in her eyes. A mixture of exhaustion and stress filled her, creating tears. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked you to waste all that gas driving me here and back home.” She weeped, sniffling as she blinked frantically. 

  JJ, nearly shitting himself at the sight of tears, jumped out of his skin in fright. “No, no, Sweets. Don’t cry,” He shushed, wrapping her up in his arms so tight her eyes could pop out of their sockets (not really because he would never hurt her). She sniffled into his sweater, tears hitting his sweater. “I didn’t waste gas driving you. I can never waste anything when it comes to you. I let the tank get that low, it’s my fault. I thought I had enough but John B hit a pothole the other day and I needed to go help him change the tire, that’s where the gas went. It’s all John B's fault for being on the mainland and driving like an idiot.” He rocked them from side to side until the tears slowed and the sniffles seemed to quiet down.

  “John B made you drive all the way to the mainland to help him change the tire?” She asked, pulling her face from his chest, but his arms didn’t let go over her, keeping her pressed to him. Her eyes were watery and puffy, a red tinge to the whites of her eyes. Her face was puffy and blotchy, trails of dried tears running down her cheeks. 

  JJ nodded, moving his arms to grip her face, thumbs lightly rubbing the tear streaks. “Yeah. And the idiot also decided to take everything except the jack out of the van so we had to go get a lug nut wrench which ate up more gas.” 

  “He never learns his lesson, does he?” She laughed. It was wet, her mouth thick from the tears still. 

  “No, he doesn’t,” He whispered, his voice low as he stared at her. “Now, let’s get you home before you fall asleep standing here,” He stepped back, putting distance between them. She watched with furrowed brows as he turned his back to her, crouching down, practically kneeling on the sidewalk in front of the store. “Hop up.” He told her, arms to his side, stuck towards her slightly, waiting for her to climb onto his back. 

  “JJ,” She exclaimed. “You’re not going to be able to carry me all the way to John B’s!” 

  “Yeah I can. I’m eighteen, not eighty,” He told her, pointing to his back. Sighing, she knew he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. On top of that, he would find another way to carry her. Her hands gripped his shoulders as she hopped onto his back. His hands instantly gripped the bottom of her thighs, securing her there and he stood up to his full height. She let out a small squeal at the sudden change in height, kicking her feet slightly at the feeling of them not being on the ground. It always took her a second to get used to being held on his back. “And even when I’m eighty, I am sure as hell gonna still give you piggy back rides.” 

  “Sure, we’ll revisit that when you are hunched over because you gave me so many piggy back rides now.” She laughed, her arms lazily moving to rest closer to his neck, her chin resting on her bicep as he started to walk towards John B’s. 

  “Why do you think I am in such great shape? I am training to carry you around my whole life.” 

  “If that’s the case, might want to lay off the weed and the booze.” She poked him in the pectoral teasingly. He squeezed her thigh playfully back, laughing as she pressed a kiss to his cheek the best she could before resting her head back on her arm, letting the pattern of JJ’s gate relax her, her eyes growing heavier by the second. She really did hope that when they were eighty, they didn’t lose any of their playfulness - no matter if JJ could carry her or not.

[numou]

PLEASE HELP ME KEEP MY WATER ON

p*ypal: tathomp9

v*nmo: tathlyn

cashapp: tathomp7

i have made a post about this before, but my posts keep dying. please, at least share my post. i desperately need help.

last month, we got a notice from the city saying our water will be turned off if we do not pay them $1,204, in addition to our monthly water bills.

i am disabled and work two jobs. the part-time one pays decently but i have very few hours working it. my full-time job pays $17 an hour, which isn't enough for 1 person much less 3.

my mom cannot work because she is disabled & has Alzheimer's. some days she can't get up & hasnt been out of the house in two years due to agoraphobia.

thankfully, we were able to put the $1,200 amount on a pay-over-time plan, buying us some time. this time is quickly running out, unfortunately.

if we do not pay this amount in full within the next two weeks, OUR WATER WILL BE TURNED OFF!

if our water goes off, we cannot eat, bathe, clean our clothes or wash our dishes. i CANNOT be fired for being unclean at work, because my father and my combined income don't cover everything.

PLEASE, ANYTHING HELPS, EVEN IF IT'S $1!

finally, thank you if you read all of this.

[raccoonscupoftea]

🍙 In love with Food

Timeskip!Osamu X Y/n

Summary: You had a date scheduled, but life was being life again.

Warnings: slight angst, fluff, shitty day, shitty boss, uh swearing, grammar mistakes cause english is not my first language, food

| MASTERLIST | REQUEST INFO |

//----//----//----//

As you woke up from a nice deep slumber, you were happy, exited even, because there was a date waiting for you after work. you were happy while showering, happy while eating, happy while talking, heck even happy while working. It's been ages since your last date and this new one brought back old feelings of a high school crush.

Even you're work bestie was happy for you to see such a big smile on you. She complimented you back and forth "Happiness looks good on you" "It's like staring into the sun" or "Keep that smile going. You look stunning" were her go to compliments. True a great day so far.

Until your boss came along.

"Miss L/n, nice to see you smile, but care to explain to me what this is"

He slammed down a file, opened it and pointed to a specific spot. As you looked on it you recognised the paper and there was a huge mistake on it. One which you made. To your defense it was late, you worked longer than anticipated and was tired, but your boss wanted the papers done this very day.

Seeing such a big mistake, only a rookie would do, was devastating and your very heart stoped beating before increasing in an alarming rate.

You wanted to speak up "I-" but then realised there's actually nothing to talk you out of this situation. You made that mistake. You remember putting in that number, but only now you know it's wrong.

"Miss, you have made many mistakes in this company. I'm questioning your intelligence"

You're eyes widened and looked up to the boss's face. "You're fired. Take you're stuff and leave immediately"

He really did just fired you. Out in the open, with every employee to witness. It was just an office job but it payed your bills and payed your food.

There was no word coming from you as said ex-boss left back to his office. He only came out to fire you. You weren't even mad at him, probably a bit, but all these mistakes did come from you. It was the company's fair right to fire employees who only deliver mistakes and complications. All fault lay within yourself.

So it wasn't helped. You placed your stuff in a box and before you left the building one last time, you placed you're personal card onto the table. Walking throu the glass door of your former work space, made you dive into the drowning reality.

You were happy this morning, but life gave you the middle finger and teard down thos ray of sunshines. Life truly is unfair.

After placing your stuff into your car, you'd drive home. The drive was a little emotional, but you arrived safely at least.

This reminded you of the rent. It was due every beginning of the month. What day is today? Oh, great the 27th. At least the last paycheck can cover up the next rent. Until then you have to find a new job to no be homeless.

So many new responsibilities and fears. And it feels like it's all your own fault. If you haven't messed up, if you would have just been more efficient than tired all the time, then maybe you would have kept your job and not worry about finding a new job.

How would you even explain why you were kicked out in the first place? Telling the truth would do you any favour.

A sigh escaped your lungs, and the box got placed on the coffee table by the couch. Your body let itself fall down in the next room, right onto the bed. There again was this feeling of tiredness after work a full shift with overtime, but this time oh has only been 3 hours.

You could luckily only create an alarm for a few hours later, until sleep was catching up on you. Now you laid there in full work attire, hair still made. You sleept on your stomach, head twisted to the side while the phone was still in your hand.

It only took a minute until you were knocked out of reality and Into the dream world.

---

You're phone vibrated in your hand and the loud alarm sound woke you up immediately. It felt like time moved faster and shot you to the day, but it was still the very same day as you fell asleep.

With the tiredness still all over, you sat up and looked down on yourself. The shirt was wrinkled and the rest was nowhere were it was supposed to be. One glance at the time and you knew, it would be wise to start getting ready.

Fired or not. You wouldn't let these negative things mess up your long awaited date.

You took a comforting hot shower, spend a little longer in it and then picked out a caual but still stylish outfit. The meeting spot was a restaurant specificly for Onigiris. It was a small but still very comfortable shop in the city.

You never been in this restaurant but you're very curious about the food. At the desired time, you just arrived and went inside. The date was no where to be seen but you still sat down on one of the chairs.

There was no notification on you're phone that someone had texted you, but maybe they were just stuck in traffic. There still was hope.

There seems to be only one guy working here and he came up to you, thinking you were ready to order "Do you know what you want or should I recommend something?"

You glanced up to him. His cap is a little deeper in his face but you still could see the smile on his face while he hold a little notepad, ready to write down whatever you wanted.

"oh, I waiting for someone. In a few minutes they should be there"

The guy first glanced over to the door then back at you. His smile didn't fade, but something in his eyes had shifted. He put away the notepad "if you change you're mind. I'll be right there" and so he wandered of to another customer.

With another glance in your phone you noticed it was now 20 minutes after the decided date time, but you still waited. Disasters always happen when one needs to be on time.

Time passed and passed by like it always does, but the supposed date was no where in sight.

Another glance at the time. Nearly one hour passed.

Well, guess they're not coming. No message, no call.

When you wrote the person "Are you still coming?" Only then did you see that they actually blocked you. A little message from the system told you so.

Your eyes wandered over to the last message they sent "Can't wait to see you :)"

What a big fat lie.

There were words running around in your head. Words more destructive than a bomb wand way more hurtful. First the debacle at work and now your date stood you up.

You felt the tears climbing up to your eyes, wanting to get out. It took quite some effort to call them back.

"I guess they are not coming. I'm sorry" this smooth voice from the store worker reached your ears. Upon looking up and glancing right into his worried eyes, you immediately felt the tears backing up with full force. They couldn't be stopped anymore and so you broke out crying, placing your head on the counter and hiding your head with the arms, hand burring themselves into your fresh showered and styled up hair.

Another hand reached out and touched your wrist. "You wanna talk 'bout it?"

You looked up to him "Uh, I don't want to bother you at w-" while you talked your eyes had wandered around the store, only to find it empty.

"Yeah, I'm about to close the restaurant"

"Oh I'm sorry. I'll leav-" you immediately stood up

"Don't worry. You can stay. Have some food"

As one foot was on the floor, he had interwien and you fell back onto the chair. Well, at least you can eas something and pay for occupying a seat an while hour long. The crying had stopped a little but you were still a bit stuffy on your nose, eyes red as well.

The guy Infront of you smiled, quite charming actually, and he then walked over to the kitchen.

"Don't worry 'bout paying" He shouted from behind "These are leftovers from today. So they either get eaten or thrown away"

The guy then appeared with a large tray full of Onigiris. You're eyes widened at the amount of food. He then continued to talk "And I don't really wanna throw them away. I would have probably eaten them this night, but then my stomach would have hated me again"

His comments about his stomach made you giggle a little bit and as the sound reached the guys ears he began to smile a little more.

"My name's Osamu, by the way. But you can just call me Samu"

"Y/n" you smiled a little.

Osamu placed down the plate full of Onigiris, grabbed himself a chair and sat down infront of you.

He also leaned down to grab two bottles of beer, opening them as well and giving you one "on the house" he simply smiles and gives you a wink.

You accepted the bottle, cheeks a little tinted red.

"Then you may dig in" he called out. After thanking for the food you bit into the first one.

You date may have stood you up, but this Onigiri may have just became your new date. The taste and the mixture all fit well together and you couldn't just not devour this art piece of food in an instant.

Osamu was watching you inhale his food and his smile grew bigger. Happy to have found another who loves his food.

You began to talk while still chewing on your food. At first he couldn't understand it but on a second thought he had heard you say "This is amazing"

Foods the best when one loses all of their social manners, you had just experience this first hand and started to hide your mouth with a hand in suprise.

Osamu laughed "No worries. I don't judge, besides I'm guilty of it too" He then as well began to eat.

You don't know why such a simple dish made you so happy, but for a second you had forgotten your misery and the curent problems you life with. May it also be the company of Osamu or just simply both.

The two of you ate the whole plate clean. No corn was left, no sauce was not licked up.

You fell in love with this food. It was the perfect comfort food for you, and eating it in an empty shop with the one who made them was like a big hug "thank you" you had voiced out after a minute of silence, comfortable silence.

"No problem. Just promise me to come back soon" He smiled at you widely. How could you not return to this place. This is heaven.

"will do" you nodded at him with a smile of yours. A genuine smile. A smile you had held at the very beginning of this day.

[nauticalfools]

hey!! i saw your post about moving to ireland and that is definitely in my plan for the next few years! i’m in college and i’m studying abroad there hopefully next spring. would you be able to just tell me some of the basics of what it’s like to live there? like transportation, expenses, housing demand, etc! thanks in advance 🫶

Hey, thanks for reaching out!

Yes, of course I can. I'll talk about the basics here but if you'd like to go into details that would suit your situation more (for example, if you're planning to work or not etc) feel free to pm me 😊

Transportation

Transportation depends on the city you'd want to live in, I can only speak for Dublin right now so that's what I'll go into. When it comes to public transportation the standard ticket is valid for 90 minutes on all transport, including switching between different bus lines and trams. It's €2 if you have a leap card. Leap card is a plastic card you'll have to buy when you arrive (for €5 euro) either at the airport or at one of the special spots in the city center. Once you have it you can charge it through the app, at spar shops or at ticket machines and tap in or out at buses, trams (called luas here) and trains (dart). There is also student card options for cheaper. You can find more information here:

Unfortunately, the buses are not very reliable so if you're planning to use public transport the safest bet would be to find housing near either of the luas lines. (There is a green and red line. Green one is considered safer but I never had any trouble on either, that's just what I've been told by the locals).

Lots of people bike around or drive. I can't drive but I had a couple of friends with US drivers licence who had no problem getting an irish drivers licence in a sensible amount of time.

Expenses

Dublin is bit expensive to live in. I would say I spend around 280-300 euro a month on groceries. If you move around the city 5 days a week it costs around 80-100 euro a month on public transport. Rent averages 650-1000 a month on shared housing and so far my bills came down to 60-80€ a month but I haven't been here for the winter yet and I would assume it all depends on your housing situation. Minumum wage currently is 12.70€/h and is said to be rised next year but will likely be rised to around 13 euro.

Housing

Currently there is a housing crisis but it is possible to find a room. It just takes longer time to find anything decent for rational pricing. To find a place to live you will need to do viewings in person, so if you won't do student halls etc I would recommend getting an airbnb first or subleting a room from somebody for at least 2 weeks, even a month and spend that time on viewing as many places as possible. (Subletting is usually a lot cheaper and you can use the adress to set up a bank account if you are living there long enough to recieve a letter from the bank. It is important to get premission from the owner of the house to do that. They usually don't mind, people here are super helpful and friendly. The letter from the bank usually takes a week to get to you but can take longer). Both regular rental housing and subletting is posted on daft.ie.

To secure a flat/room they usually want you to show a job offer or last two paychecks. It can be different for work visa holders. It's good to save up 3 months rent in advance + deposit (which is usually equivalent to one months worth of rent) and use it as a negotiation leverage, offering to pay in advance once you secure the room.

Don't try finding anything on Facebook and never pay a deposit before viewing. There is a lot of scams around.

Necessities to function legally

Get an Irish phone number!!!

People rarely respond when you add foreign number as your contact information. It is especially important to secure flat viewings and job interviews. Your best bet is to visit Ireland before you move (maybe when/if you'd want to visit collages or unis for open days) and buy a sim card with a phone number. You can get one with a phone plan of monthly payment of 15-20 euro. Once you have it, activate the card and use that phone number for everything.

PPSN

Another important thing is PPS Number. Its kind of like a social security number. It is given to you by the government so you can pay taxes and be registered for social services like healthcare. I think you can apply for it on a different basis when you have a visa but I am not sure. Otherwise, you'd need to have a job offer or letter of employment to apply for it. Sometimes when you're applying for renting they can ask for this number too. You can read more here:

Irish bank account

Try to get an irish bank account as soon as possible. You will need a permanent adress in Ireland to apply for it. You will need a bank account to apply for most of the jobs but once again it may be different for visa holders.

It is a bit of a tricky loophole situation at the beginning with setting yourself up legaly so I would say securing the phone number and an adress is the most important at first. You can handle anything else after. You've got this! 😊

TL;DR you will need:

Leap card

Irish phone number

Irish adress

Irish bank account

(Job)

PPS Number

If anybody has any questions or would like to discuss their situation in more detail feel free to send asks or pm me. I'll try my best to help out. Stay strong lovelies! 💕

[alexandraisyes]

How are you doing?

Do you want an honest answer or a watered down haha cutesy artist answer?

I could be worse, to put it simply. It’s been a very. . . Excitable week. And month. And life.

I’m dealing with medication withdrawals that will last another month. They have me sicker than a dog right now, physically at least. My mental stamina is fine, it’s definitely been worse in the more recent past. I’m making a pretty good stress recovery from the past three months of harassment from varying sources, but there is no rest for the wicked.

I’m about 95% positive that I’m being actively stalked by someone from the whole August fiasco, someone who I’ve had blocked since the beginning of August. A (former) friend of mine that I had met through the rp blogs I did designs for turned out to be a sexual predator who was grooming the minors in said group, and I recently had to cut them off after confronting them about it. So that’s great. Both of these things are giving me mild stress, especially because neither of these people know when the fuck to quit and have a long history of stalking and harassment.

However, I’m finally writing again. I’m trying to get back on my current projects, as well as the newer project I’m working on. I’ve completed some commissions, I’ve made a couple self indulgent artworks, and even some art for friends. So I’m being productive.

I’m finally back to watching the shows, although this migraine the past few days has put a rather sudden pause on that. Hopefully I can get back on schedule within the next couple of days. I’m once again finding enjoyment in taking them apart too, which is always a good sign. A large part of why I went on a sudden hiatus was due to the harassment the past few months, but I’ve had some sense knocked into me about the matter by my everlasting and ever loving parents that had me seriously questioning why I was letting it affect me to the point I couldn’t function?

I moved back in with my parents last month. I haven’t fully unpacked, my executive function has been lacking when it comes to sorting boxes. Especially since the last time I was here it was only for a month before I had a fight with my folks and had no option but to leave. However we’re reaching that one month mark so fingers crossed that history won’t repeat itself.

In all honesty it’s been going a lot smoother than I expected. I’ve done a lot of yard work while I job hunt, and so I’ve been left relatively alone and to my own devices since I’m sacrificing so much of my time to clean up the property. It’s been a good distraction, and I’ll be honest I needed the vitamin D.

Unfortunately I’m running out of things to do around the property to prepare for winter. No more Vitamin D for me. Probably for the best, I don’t want to burn out.

Speaking of jobs, I have one now. I need to go in tomorrow and turn in the hiring paperwork, and then yippee I will have a steady source of income. It’ll probably only be part-time pay, but that’s okay. A job is a job.

I managed to reach my goal for donations, thanks to my friends and this wonderful community. All of my bills have been secured, with a little excess that I’ll use to buy new pants for work (can’t go in pantless). I cannot be more grateful to this community for handing together to help me reach my goal so I can afford to keep doing things like drive (which is extremely necessary when you live in the middle of rural countryside) and live in a house (as much as my parents love me I do have to pay rent since my dad is disabled and cannot support the family anymore).

My social life is fine. I’ve made a lot of close friends over the past few months, misery loves company and all of that. It’s ironic how we were all more or less strangers to each other, and yet these series of events have made us extremely tight nit as a little online village. I’ve made quite a few new friends too, just by being obnoxious. It is what I do best after all.

There isn’t a really an easy answer to questions like this when you have a busy life. I could just say “oh I’m fine” but that’s not honest. That’s not transparent or real, and I try to be both of those things. I’m not entirely sure what “fine” would look like, and by society’s standards I’m definitely not fine in any fashion. But we all make do with the hands we’ve been dealt.

I’ve become extremely close friends with a malignant narcissist (short term would be narcopath) and I find their presence a comfort. I continue to work on projects with friends, and abstain from creating new ones. I’ve caught up on a few different fanfics while I’ve been sick these past couple of days, and that’s always nice. I’m trying to do my best to give back to the community what was given to me (metaphorically), but being bedridden these past couple days has prevented me from achieving that very well. I’ve grown a fondness for TikTok animations and animatics, and have been considering making a few of my own.

Oh yes, also a month or so ago I bought a graphics tablet for my laptop and am looking into learning 3-D modeling. It would be fun to make my own VRChat avatars, plus it’s always handing to have more skills under your belt.

And my apologies if this runs long, or stops making sense at some point, I’m still fairly delirious and it is late as I write this, even though it will post sometime in the morning long after I’m asleep.

I’m doing well, to put it simply. Nothing in life will ever be just right, and I frankly don’t expect it to, nor do I wish for a perfect life. The only way we learn is through hardship, after all. I could always be better, but I could be much much worse as well. I’m just glad I’ve got plenty of time on my hands to swindle away even between writing, and art, and videos, and work. Due to a fairly rigorous sleep schedule I’ve about 16 hours of the day to spend at my leisure, and that already feels like too much excess time.

To the point I’ve taken to playing mobile games simply to pass it by.

So hopefully getting a job in town, one with a paycheck, will help manage some of that boredom. I’m sure I’ll still have plenty of excess time regardless, I always seem to be swimming in it.

And I’m sure I’ve concluded this post multiple times by now, but I truly am doing well enough. Talking about it helps me figure out and rationalize my mental health. It’s a bit like psychoanalyzing myself, for the word to to witness as if I’m just another one of the silly characters dancing on the screen. It is truly a beneficial experience for myself, however, since I’m able to truly process any emotions that might have been hiding behind triggers.

And here I go on another tangent, so I’ll cut it off here.

[foster-the-world]

Fun!

Oh Mary play was fun. Bizarre fun. Not sure it was my favorite but def some clever moments. My husband was a big fan.

A few years back I mentored one young mother through a very small nonprofit that helps former foster youth. Its basically two middle aged ladies who helped out a group of 8-10 former foster youth. They act as the informal support most people would receive from their family + recruit mentors. Anyway, they reached out today because one of the people in their current group has a ten year old whose struggling in school. Apparently her's in a not great school in the Bronx. Asked if I had any resources since we aren't that far. Neither of the group leaders have school aged kids. Wanted to know if a charter school would help him. So hard to know. If he's just having trouble because the schools not great then most charter schools will provide extra hours support to get him caught up. If he has a learning disability then most charter schools are going to counsel him out. They don't want kids who are going to bring down their test scores :( So depressing.

I tried to provide the DOE process of getting special need services but that takes months to even get an assessment spot. Compared to 99.9% of places there are a shit ton of resources. You can get literally hundred of thousands of dollars of services provided by the city. I know so many people who get over $200,000 of services per year free of charge from the city. Top notch/can't be better services. But its a fulltime job to figure it out and you've got to be first in line or its not happening. Or you need the cash to pay for assessments, etc that prove your kid needs these services. I have some friends that work in charter schools so if she's in the right neighborhood I can see if they still have room. I provided info on an organization that helps. But its all going to take so much time. For example today I've spent at least 2.5 hours researching, talking to other parents and texting with his providers. Its not an abnormal day. I'm not currently trying to chase down any new services. It just what is normal. I mean a little extra as its only the second week of school but still. I'm lucky I can do it at work/lunchtime. Anyway its all depressing. I don't know a solution. I'm thankful services are there but there has to be a better way.

I'm touring a school geared for ADHD kids next week. It would be for Kindergarten next year. Looks good for him. My only fear is they don't accept kids with behavior issues. He's a four year old boy with ADHD of course he has behavior issues. Why else would we be there? I assume they mean aggression? Going to find out. I read they require the kids to be medicated. I'm assuming that's for older kids. I can't imagine its a requirement for 5 year old. The APA doesn't even recommend until 6 unless there are extreme issues. We are unfortunately in the extreme issues territory hence looking for a school for kids with ADHD. I'm surprised private schools can make that requirement but I guess private schools can do whatever the hell they want. Seems fishy considering I'm sure every kid there has sued the city to have them foot the bill.

Baby boys doctor wants us to try Flovant to stop the asthma. Its the normal protocol. Not excited that some people have behavioral issues as a side effect. Not what my kid needs more of. Of course, as his doctor pointed out kids behavior gets much worse when they are feeling bad because of an asthma outbreak. Also, nervous because we are thinking of trying ADHD meds next month. I don't want to mix new things. Also, don't want to wait on the Flovant because Oct/Nov are his problem asthma months.

Feeling stronger about trying the ADHD meds. Every medical provider I've talked to has encouraged us to try. I know some people would take that as doctor's wanting a quick fix. I don't agree. I think they've seen it work from other kids and don't want our kids to suffer unnecessarily. Our ADHD parent coach- whose a big wig that's done a ton of published research on ADHD was very supportive of the idea.

Baby boy has also been using some language that is so sad. "My body feels wild. I can't stop it." "I'm mean to my friends. I don't know why." "I'm bad." He's only four. We don't use "bad" language. I don't want him thinking these things about himself. He has a really hard time controlling his body but he has the sweetest little heart.

Parent Teacher night for the girls. Excited to hear from Bee's teachers - as they are both new to the school. Bee had Rebel's teacher last year so that's not new.

The very kind teacher at the school who produces a morning announcement video created by/with the kids every morning announced she was pregnant today. I happened to be in the office. The kids were so excited. Very sweet.

[sirianasims]

My father pulled some strings and called in a few favours. We managed to find the perfect place in Brindleton Bay, all the way across the country.

We bought the most adorable house in a quiet neighbourhood. It was far away from my parents, but also far away from the scandal. Katherine and I needed a fresh start.

The most important thing, however, was that the house was right next to a vet clinic, and the owner was interested in selling it. My most important dream could still come true.

Katherine, being pregnant and newly fired, was not finding any jobs, and I was struggling to get the vet clinic up and running after years of neglect by the previous owner, but I finally felt a little optimistic about the whole thing. Maybe we could do this.

Soon after we moved in, some of the neighbours came to welcome us to the neighbourhood. I was very surprised to recognise them – Colten and Kailani, two of my brother’s closest friends in high school. My brother had even mentioned his secret crush on Kailani before he left.

Kailani was touched when she heard about our situation, especially the fact that Katherine was pregnant.

She told Katherine to ask if she needed anything – Colten and Kailani had just discovered that they were having their second child. I was glad that Katherine seemed to be making new friends already. I didn’t want to be her only support.

They were my friends too, of course – but I was mostly smitten with their beautiful dog.

I was still adjusting to being a proper adult – being a house owner was expensive and we wouldn’t have made it without the seemingly endless support from my parents.

The next few months passed, and we slowly settled in as Katherine’s belly grew.

I tried to be excited, but I was mostly filled with dread. Katherine was thrilled, decorating the nursery and constantly bugging me about baby names. She’d given up on ever having kids since Antony didn’t want any, but it had always been a secret dream of hers.

Kailani was also getting bigger. I’d often meet her when she walked Sansa as I was going to the vet clinic, and she was only a month or so behind Katherine.

I was much more relaxed around her – at least that baby wasn’t my responsibility.

It was harder to relax around Katherine. She was hormonal and frustrated with her new, heavier body, worried about her future job situation, and it didn’t help that Antony was dragging out their divorce.

Arguments seemed to erupt out of nowhere. I would be lost in my own thoughts for a bit, not paying attention to something she said, and she’d snap.

I tried to explain that I was thinking about important things, like how to make the vet clinic profitable so at least one of us could bring in some money. I didn’t really mean to be hurtful, but the money situation stressed me out. I hated relying on my parents for everything.

She obviously didn’t respond well to the low blow about her lack of career, and called me out for being immature.

She made me feel like a child. It was hard not to retaliate and say something that made her feel old, like how she clearly had all the maturity in this relationship – and then I was the bad guy.

I hated arguing with her. She clearly had more experience in that as well.

After an argument, I’d usually go for a run to clear my head and give us both some space. Sometimes I wondered what would happen if I just kept running. I was sick of worrying – about the bills, the clinic, the baby, and our strained relationship.

At least Katherine’s divorce was finally happening.

beginning / previous / next

[bellybiologist]

September 2024 Patreon Announcements

September rolls around (again)! This month is notable because it's been a bit more than a year since I started streaming again. Time keeps on flying, for better and worse. :V

After the usual announcements, I can go into more detail about How Things Are Going at the end for those who are interested!

=====

September's Poll will be up Shortly! The winning theme is "Crop Tops," and I will go into detail on the poll post.

The Next Sequence has been Decided. It is a David (from Lilo and Stitch) Stuffing sequence! I will attempt to find time to at least start it this month.

Commissions are still Open! Comms are still a bulk of my monthly income, so i'm still accepting submissions, even if you're already on the list! I understand the wait time is long, but all commissioners are free to add to, adjust, or change orders they've already made at any time! Just contact me to discuss it. A new Reward Request Post will be going up! Patrons are free to leave one in there even if you already have one from last month's! July's requests will have expired though! So if those haven't been drawn, you will need to re-suggest them. August's will expire when October rolls around. See this document to see whats on the list, what expired, and what has been done!

===== As always, thanks for the support!

Those are the normal announcements! The following is not particularly important and more just info on how things are going.

=====

I've managed to get all the appliances that needed replacing replaced, (ie. the fridge), but I still got a few months left on the bigger dental bills. The final payments for those are in november, after which, I can focus on paying off the credit card bills that have been piling up, and possibly to have some savings at some point. Others will be done in January, so it'll be a good while before I'm free from those. :V

All patreon fills were made free back in May, and I'm pleased that decision didn't reduce patreon income by a huge amount (roughly 100 bucks monthly, which was in reasonable expectations). It's much easier on me, having a less strict deadline, while giving me less to do in regards to making pieces available and whatnot.

I'm enjoying streaming, and really appreciate those who are keeping me company. Ya'll have been great support~, which has been great at keeping me working more consistently.  As for commissions progress... I'm roughly halfway down the list! Which, honestly, is not saying a whole lot when the list must get longer every month by necessity. We're getting close to passing the 1 year waiting time for some people, which im very sorry for, but I'm still doing my best to keep a steady pace! I'm shooting for 3-4 commissions completed a month. Thanks to everyone whose been patient and supportive.

That said, my aunt is still job hunting. We're hoping she'll have meaningful employment by this month. Not 100% sure about how this month will go, but i guess we'll have to see! I'll have to pick up more slack if things dont go our way. Still no news from the landlord, so im just assuming they are satisfied with our work so far with the apartment.

And that's about it! Thanks for reading if you did!

[foxwayart]

State of personal affairs (IMPORTANT)

(TL;DR will be towards the bottom for those who don’t wanna read my ramblings, but I’d prefer you did since this is important.) Hey everyone, hope you’re all doing well, I’ll cut to the point by saying that I am not. For the past… We’ll say couple of months I’ve been on something of a mental health spiral, and it hasn’t really gotten any better save for my time at the Con. Which was a nice, but very brief reprieve. The whys of this dip in my well being are pretty varied, and some of it I’m not really able to talk about, whether for personal reasons or respect for others. But to put it broadly, work has been stressful, home has been stressful, my health has been stressful, everything has been stressful, and as it stands I don’t think I can keep up with things right now. So I’m taking a small break from working on commissions, and allowing myself a bit more breathing room when it comes to my streams (which is to say the next few streams may be much smaller scale, more chill chatting streams.)  

Now before any of you who commissioned me recently panic: With my current comms I will still be updating you guys, just at a slower rate than normal, I don’t intend to leave you guys in the lurch. But if by the time I’m done with them I still feel this bad, I probably won’t reopen my queue like I’ve been doing nonstop for the past while now. At least if I can financially help it… Streams like I said are gonna be a bit more lax. I’ll probably finish Pinkie Tower, but after that? I dunno, chatting and maybe some light doodling. Dunno how this will affect Sinner’s Saturday since some kind of income would be nice, but this week we’re definitely doing something different, just have to figure out what.  And yes, I still owe you guys that Discord movie night, we’ll be doing that soon. As for how long this time off is gonna be? No clue, it might only be a few days honestly, but the longest I’m giving myself is two weeks cause I just can’t afford any longer than that. And speaking of “affording”, it’s time for literally my least favourite part of the job. The shilling™️. I probably won’t really be making much if any money during this period, so if you ever wanted to support my work with a nice tip. Now would be the time. You have no idea how much even a small tip of a few dollars can help.https://ko-fi.com/foxweyman I’m not gonna sugar coat this folks. I make peanuts on my work. That’s no one’s fault, it's just the nature of being both a small artist and streamer, it’s something I’ve come to peace with as a fact of my career choices. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t stress me out. Part of why I can never usually take breaks at all is because I literally can’t afford to.

I have rent to pay, phone bills, internet, electricity bills, hormone pills, pet expenses including; food, potential vet visits, toys, poo bags, cat litter, etc. I have to have money saved up incase of an emergency whether personal or work related (computer parts need replacing, tablet needs replacing etc), then there's house expenses; food, toilet paper, cleaning supplies; replacing anything we need etc. It’s a lot, even with our packed house.

The only reason I'm able to go to Furnal Equinox or Canfurence is because I start saving up money month after month after month as a treat to myself, and even when there I tend to bring my work so I can get my commission queue done faster and reopen them again as soon as the con is done.

I’ve been told to raise my prices but let’s be honest, I’m not at the level where I can charge hundreds upon hundreds of dollars for pieces, and while this may be a pessimistic view of my work, I probably won’t be able to any time soon. Same with stream goals, I don’t feel like there’s much I can offer right now that would be worth $500 goals or something.

I’d open a merch shop or something but that would be even more stressful upkeep, and again let’s be real. My reach isn’t big enough for that and you can only sell the same merch to the same customer base for so long.

I apologize if it seems like I’m ragging on about the money, but of all the things I’m dealing with it’s the easiest to talk about because it’s something I think at least a few of you can relate to. That and the more personal troubles cut a bit deeper and I’m not sure I even really wanna talk about them because I don’t like dragging you guys down with me. We’ve made an awesome little community and I don’t need to be hurting you with my problems. Is that the healthiest way of looking at it? No probably not but there it is.

Above all that though I just want some more time to myself and the people I care about, not fretting every second that “I could be working” or “I could be monetizing this”, instead of focusing on improving my mental health so I can be a better creator for you guys, and a better person for me. I wanna draw for myself again,even if it’s just low stakes doodles or barely cohesive comic pages, or hell even just to work on my poor draftwomanship .I wanna let myself play some games and not think “Oh I have to stream this”,  every time I do. I wanna be able to go out with my loved ones and not constantly be thinking “WHY AM I NOT WORKING ON COMMISSIONS???”

So TL;DR taking a light break, not sure how long exactly, will keep current customers in the loop, streams aren’t going anywhere but may be a bit different, please tip to the ko-fi so I can stay afloat during this time https://ko-fi.com/foxweyman

For those that read through, thank you so much, it means the world that you care enough about my mental health to drudge through my ravings. You’re truly the best part of this job. A wonderful community that I can just chat and be honest with, I can laugh and joke with you all without fear or anxiety. That’s exceedingly rare these days and I couldn’t be more appreciative of you lot.

That in mind, this took awhile to write, my hands are hurting, and I wanna go lie down, maybe allow myself a good cry. Thanks everyone. <3

- Blaire,“Drfoxweyman” 

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 3443

today has been fuckin ROUGH, my dudes.

i woke up this morning and almost immediately got overwhelmed by stuff. car accident stuff, medical bill stuff, cleaning stuff, putting stuff away, money stuff, literally anything that i had to think about or possibly find i was immediately stressed about. my broken glasses, an unpaid insurance claim, unpaid medical bills that i didn't know where to send, phone calls, breakfast, missing paperwork. literally i sat up in bed with my head in my hands for a solid ten minutes because i couldn't handle looking at my disaster of a room. it just made everything worse.

the anxiety and stress followed me most of the day. it still lingers, even now.

i didn't feel confident enough in myself to be an adult today. in fact, today was one of those days when i wanted to sit with my plushies and rock back and forth all day and be tucked into bed. it felt like i was five. it happens a lot, actually, and it's very frustrating because it happens at the worst possible moments.

i had to push through it. as mom looked for some of my paperwork, she also picked up some of the things in my room that didn't need to be there. it made it a little more manageable. i could at least look at it.

mom and i sat down and looked at paperwork after collecting a bunch. we looked through insurance things for my car accident. i went through and checked things off. i had questions so i wrote them down. i filled out forms and called my claims agent and left a message. when she didn't pick up, mom and i went to the bank to get things notarized. with that done, we got starbucks and lunch and my agent called back just as i was putting my stuff down after coming back. i asked my questions and got some answers. so that was good.

i also got a notification that my ebay package was delivered - the one with my new glasses frames in it. i ran out to grab the mail and i took the box and my purse and went to get my lenses changed into the new frames. i had to wait a bit, and while i waited i realized i was so excited to get my new frames that i'd left my phone on the table at home.

good news is the frames are perfect.

i was able to hit up walmart after for a few things i needed, like my medication refills, some body wash, and a new supply of period supplies, but i also got more decorations for the office for valentine's day and laundry baskets for me and joel. they're a distinct color so no one should fuck it up.

also i scheduled an appointment to get my hair done later this month. mom and i talked about it and she said she was willing to pay for it for me, still. she mentioned it's something i do for my mental health, and she's right. it's been a long time since i last got my hair done, so i'm happy about being able to do it again.

after returning home after all of that, i was tired. mom and i went upstairs and played one of the new games i got for christmas and it was a lot of fun to play. i'll bring it over to play with joel, although a lot of people don't like the same kind of games i do. it kind of makes me sad because people don't like the puzzle games i like so i don't have people to play them with. sure i don't have a lot of time anyway, but id still like to play. i miss playing. so much of my life is just work and sleep and drive and i don't ever really get to just play. i keep plushies with me because i want the comfort of having them with me because i don't have time to dedicate to having them with me. so i just keep them with me. it's. it's frustrating. and it makes me sad.

but yeah not much happened besides a ton of things that needed to be cleared up for my mental health.

next up is cutting my nails. i'm so tired. i'm exhausted and im hungry and im tired and i need a vacation desperately. and probably a new job. it's taxing. i love my job. i love my coworkers. but what i have to do to go to work daily is unsustainable. i've really worked there for six months. i am very fucking close to burning out.

i need to talk to christine. too many things have happened.

also i'd like a joel hug. he gives good hugs and encourages me to only worry about the things i can control. he helps me put things into perspective.

i hope he likes the laundry baskets.