#will that stop me from posting it? nah
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sleepy ed
#no one can stop me from drawing the boots#they bring me such pleasure#edward elric#fullmetal alchemist#I probably should wait to post til later but... nah#fma 2003#fmab#I neglect this brush a lot so it was fun to use it for once!!#hope u enjoy mwuah
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I finished my current sketchbook last night and wanted to post some of my favorite doodles in there :-)
there's so so many more in there that I didn't take photos if so I'm probably gonna post a bunch in phases
so I guess sketchbook reveal 1/?
#bandit's doodles#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#caspian jrwi#chip bastard#chip jrwi#jay ferin#jrwi Marshall John#whenever I read through my sketchbook you can clearly see blocks of hyperfixations#like it’s so unintentionally organized#first section is hermitcraft#then riptide#couple pages of sky colt ocs me and a friend made like a year ago#then it goes pd and apotheosis#(the riptide section was the longest clearly that’s my biggest hyperfixation/spin rn obviously)#there’s also little arcs in the sections#like you can see the couple days I was obsessed with swordfish#also I like to think Gil and Caspian got those fish pajamas together in joaldo#this one lasted from July to yesterday so I think that’s a pretty good run right#not too long and not too short#that thing is so loaded with bullshit it’s insane#get hyped bandit prime defenders and apotheosis art posting soon#I’m on episode 28 of pd right now I think#alright I’m just talking now I need to stop myself#(bandit learns self restraint? nah)
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and stalling only goes so far when you've got a head start
#nobody talk to me i am so fucking IN AGONY#HEAD IN HANDS. AT LEAST SOME PEOPLE CAN BE HAPPY???????#jinx#jinx arcane#powder#powder arcane#arcane#arcane spoilers#im afraid i have to admit guys i just stopped watching after this episode. it was so fucking (bitter) sweet and by far the happiest#i've ever been post-arcane-episode#god!!!!!!! i don't want to ruin the high!!!! and i don't want to see everyone start fucking suffering for their lives again !!!!!#in my defense i finished at like 8 am after not sleeping all night so. i was also tired. but now after waking up#i just don't want to continue Even More o777#arcane season 2#arcane s2#arcane s2 spoilers#arcane season 2 spoilers#idk how fast people usually watch episodes so i'm mass tagging even more than usual#god fucking. aughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#time taken on this like 3-4 hrs#in my current state of mind (completely off my rocker abt this show) i can probably fuel like Months worth of fanart#from just this one episode. sooooo what if i just never watched the rest fhhggggskfjnfnfnfndjsjd#nah i know i'm gonna end up watching it. eventually. soon probably but idk how soon. anyways. peace out guys. live laugh love 😭😭😭😭😭#my art#the funny thing about this is that i drew it facing the opposite way and then flipped it to check and never. flipped it back.#uhhhhh. don't worry about it
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"killmonger is an example of the writers making the person advocating for change crazy so the audience couldn't take him seriously" did people actually watch Black Panther or
#i'll be honest i stopped following Marvel after Avengers 2. only watched infinity war#shang chi#and endgame after that.#so this is the first time i'm watching it for a sort of look back at superhero movies.#what's surprising to me is that Black Panther is the vanishingly rare superhero movie to use the fact that the antagonist#killed people in afghanistan and iraq as a bad thing. ofc then they make the token funny white guy a CIA agent#my personal conspiracy theory is that they had to put him there after the US military reviewed their script lol lol#as a white-ish person. i don't feel appealed to by him. the token white guy should be some guy who got tickets to a free safari#then gets in way over his head. smh.#anyways (white guy voice) please respect my lived experience#the movie itself isn't high art but it's good. sets itself out from the pack by actually saying something lol#me.txt#shitposting#marvel#MCU#is that even relevant anymore#oh wait! i did watch ms. marvel#because i am a fan of the comics actually. kamala khan ftw#so many missteps in that series but iman vellani did a great job#black panther#should i have put this in the post itself? nah. nah nah nah.
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PLEASE keep aftg tv show posting its making me so AUAUUAUAUAUH (especially your cinematography thoughts even though i know nothing about cinematography they just make me go brrr)
anon you’re enabling me rn
#nah but i don’t think i physically CAN stop#if i don’t get these thoughts out of me they’ll rot me from the inside out#so i HAVE to keep posting about it#and i love talking about cinematography too#i’m not a camera guy at all but i love love love the visuals#me and the aftg cinematographer would be besties
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Also, while the tabs continue to vex me...I did at least add the rest of the muses. Just note; mains are the Son Children (Gohan, Gokai, Saiyo, and Goten...and depending baby Gosuke), secondary are Trunks, Future!Trunks, and Future!Saiyo, and lastly request only is Chi-Chi. ...I am also playing Future!Trunks and Future!Saiyo as living in the current time-line, since Super decided to scrape that idea of the timeline being gone permanently and F!Trunks having to adjust and come to terms with his new home.
#Out Of Ki | {OOC}#From The Heavens | {Mun Post}#I really hate that they did that whole arc so they COULD have a reason to keep Future!Trunks around for plots later but than went 'Nah'#And scraped it; would've been a cool little character development and plus we could see more of Future!Trunks buuuut noooooo...= =;;;#[long sighs]#Than again same happened to Super's Broly...he was suppose to show up in the show and comic after his movie BUT NOPE#STOP TAKING MY BABIES AWAY FROM ME
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almost 4am can't stop thinking about the meaning of the idiom 'to have blood on [someone's] hands'—to be responsible for a person's death—combined with the fact that Zach is the one we are specifically shown with Daryl's actual blood on his hands (once for real and once in a dream)... Not Josh who had been holding the sword Daryl fell onto, but Zach who took the sword out.
#super dark times#+ part of it that's insane to me is: Josh COULD have easily ALSO gotten (literal) blood on his hands—we see him go to check for a pulse#after Zach did... but we don't see his hands during that—they're left out of the shot! we just see his face. and when we see his hands next#there's no visible blood on them (if any got on he theoretically wiped 'em off ig? similarly Zach's hands when seen AFTER the shot of him#touching Daryl ALSO don't rlly show blood anymore—we see his hands in the leaves tho so it prob went there) BUT SO there was a CHOICE made#to give us a close up shot of ZACH pulling his hand away from the wound with blood on it... but to NOT do the same/smthn similar with Josh.#and yet ZACH is the one who CAN'T ACCEPT THE ROLE HE PLAYED IN ANY OF ITTTTT!!!!!!! GAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!#this post brought to you by me rewatching the Zach + Charlie on the phone scene and needing to just. stop and scream at Zach being#like 'Josh‚ or fucking somebody else‚ they went up there and if they found Daryl alive—' LIKE BRO. YOU *KNOW* HE WAS DEAD.#YOU KNOW. YOU KNOOOOW. YOU WERE THERE. YOU KNOW HE WAS ALREADY DEAD. the denial. the trying to find any fucking way that#there could be even a sliver of a possibility that it WASN'T even PARTIALLY his fault.... shifting the blame entirely onto Josh...#[plus like. the 'somebody else' only added in after Charlie was giving him shit for trying to complicate this more—at first he was#straight up saying Josh was the one that fucked with the body]... aghghghsfd he makes me INSANE#also fwiw. i'm forever a 'Josh didn't harm anyone on purpose until AFTER his fight with Zach at Zach's house' truther. that provides#at least SOME sort of motivation to push him over an edge into... the shit that happens. anything before that just fuckin' doesn't make#sense. To Me. ive already written a lot on my thoughts about all of that though [uhhh in the tags of my gifset of the fight at Zach's house#anyways. im also NOT trying to say 'ah so we should Just Blame Zach' because nah nah this whole thing was a fucked up accident. they're all#to blame. plus Josh did horrible shit at the end On His Own there's no way of getting around that—but the messiness of how Zach handled the#initial incident and how that ripples out across the whole movie is simply soooooooo... ghghGHGhghGHGhghghgh. To Me.#in conclusion: im soooooooo normal about the characters in this movie (<- lying)
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today i’m thinking about “different first meeting” kuwagami scenario where kuwana is acquainted with kaito beforehand, BUT not as friends, but as fuckbuddies at most. maybe, even just as a one night stand.
yagami comes to kaito’s apartment because he couldn’t reach him or something, and sees another new guy coming out of his shower; this isn’t news for him that kaito occasionally hooked up with random women and men alike, with preference in the former. yagami pays kuwana no mind and actively deflects any advances from him, thinking that kuwana sees him as another fuckbuddy of kaito. yagami doesn’t fuck around that much, and definitely isn’t in the mood to find somebody to stay the night with: they have an urgent case, and there isn’t any other thing on his mind at the moment.
while kuwana falls in love with yagami at the first sight. sure it’s weird to fall for a business partner of the guy he just fucked and isn’t going to remember for long. but, yagami is perfect, in some stupid way. kuwana says something dumb, gets rejected, and his hurting heart tells him he can’t let yagami go. he hasn’t felt this way about anyone in years.
so, he starts to hang around kaito much more frequently, they may even be called friends at some point. yagami thinks they are dating; this is the last thing kuwana wants him to think.
although, they click with each other pretty quickly; with all the annoyance, it’s fun to bicker with him, rarely being serious, picking on him and being picked on in turn. but it also frustrates yagami, because he sees that kuwana doesn’t really care about kaito (the amount he'd expect of the guy kaito is together with). while kuwana sees that yagami worries for kaito, and thinks that it’s in that way. once, he, heartbroken and losing hope, asks what yagami sees in kaito (as a possible romantic partner), but words it badly and is understood even worse. yagami falls out with kuwana, and they stop talking altogether.
yagami sulks and is very upset, because he thought they had something special going there, even if it was just a mutual interest, which wouldn’t turn into anything else. kuwana stops talking to kaito, explaining to him that it was because he couldn’t bear to be with yagami in one room when he hates him so much. his words kind of insinuate of kuwana’s feelings for yagami, but kaito doesn’t catch the hint.
some time passes, and yagami and kaito talk about kuwana. yagami says that he regrets so much cutting kuwana off from his life. kaito remembers what kuwana said, tells it to yagami as word for word as he could remember, and though he doesn’t understand what’s wrong, yagami sees kuwana’s message clearly.
yagami can’t reach him by his number (it’s out of service), so he comes to his house in ijincho. he isn’t home, but yagami waits for him. approaching his house, kuwana sees him sitting on the steps and asks, “did you not cuss me enough?” and everything he says is openly antagonizing. yagami tries to talk to him calmly, but with time kuwana, unyielding, starts to piss him off. yagami says something along, “and here i thought you’d want me to apologize to you” and storms out the house with an intention to drink this anger away and come back.
kuwana isn’t able to stop him (when he tries, yagami punches him in the nose so hard kuwana sees stars, and it starts bleeding), but he finds him leaning on the railing in the nearby parking lot, with cheep beer in his hands. “you didn’t escape far. feeling guilty?”, kuwana asks, meaning his injury. “yes,” yagami answers, meaning the argument that lead them to stop talking with each other.
kuwana asks to share his beer with him, to which yagami complies, and jokes about them having an indirect kiss. “so childish,” yagami says, “we are long past the age of indirect kisses.” “do you want an ‘adult’ kiss?” kuwana jokingly asks, falling into their playful type of talking naturally. “yes,” yagami answers, and kuwana hears no ridicule in turn. he kisses him and tries to say that he wanted to kiss him for as long as they know each other.
“i knew that all this time,” yagami interrupts him, “but i didn’t want a kiss from somebody who isn’t serious about it.” after kuwana’s question of what has changed, yagami answers, “because now i also know you want more from me than this, or sex, or whatever. makes kissing you a lot less disgusting.” kuwana laughs, and yagami steals this sound with another kiss.
#kuwagami#judge eyes#putting letters together one word at a time#it’s so hard not to fall into ooc territory with them#also because there is so little you can write about them that is 100% canon compliant#so fuck it we ball. kuwagami fluff be upon ye. or whatever#i swear it wasn’t supposed to be so long/detailed but#1) i think about kuwagami A LOT and DAILY but it mostly goes into the ever-changing and it’s a shame you can’t see the level of my insanity#(i was looking for something from the posted chapters yesterday for the part i was writing and-#(reread the part where kuwana says to yagami that he wasn’t making fun of him and that he IS pretty... no wonders girls are all over him...#(saying it endearingly... and it fucking obliterated me. i was like DUDE. GIRL. YOU WROTE THIS YOURSELF. ARE YOU OKAY)#(ah chapter 4... had a craving to start posting parts from the published chapters i loved the most-#(+the commentary on them but decided that nah who’d need that)#and 2) i have too many kwgm ideas that i won’t be able to write (not that i don’t want to) but writing down this idea-#(in a spur of inspiration lead me all the way to the end.)#so here it is. a plotbunny. which i put here. without any intention to make it into a proper fanfic#never would have guessed i’d stop being so greedy about my fic ideas and be able to post them without making it a proper story#but. as you can see. i stopped. i guess.
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I have another one
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#I'm sorry this is all I can think about#also this is the only thing stopping me from posting 'nah I'd win' jokes I'm so sorry#this is somewhat unrelated to 261 just in general fjdjfkd
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going to a hospital that's trying to be more kid-friendly is so funny bc even as an adult they give you stickers and lollipops and toy cars to cope like yeah i just learned i need major surgery but ooooh red truck
#THIS IS WHY IVE BEEN DEAD I STG I'LL RESPOND TO ASKS N MSGS NOW#for context guess who just found out she needs another reconstruction surgery on her OTHER LEG???#not even three months post op from the first#:lipbite:#i legit did sudoku while in the waiting room right after the resident told me I needed surgery#cried through the sudoku#guys i have two full leg braces on BOTH LEGS call me carbon fiber woman it's the donjoy mojo casa house#there's a clanking noise whenever i walk somewhere im not even exaggerating#osteoarthritis??? nah i call my condition being so sexy i give MYSELF weak knees#fr gotta stop looking in the mirror and being so fine#anyways now is the time to spam
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several days and 15 thousand words later, i am relieved to report that the suffocating urge to Write Something has been sated and no longer has me in a chokehold
#Seven.txt#writing stuff#thinking of that post that’s like ‘u Have To make art or all the ideas stay stuck in ur brain and make u sick’ bc yeah thats been the vibe#wish i wasn’t so all or nothing about it tho. but alas. i’m that way with everything in my life#i either expect 10k in a day from myself or i don’t write at all for weeks. or months :)#and my average pace is about 500 words per hour. so u can see. how that might be a problem. given how many hours are in a day.#and that’s obviously not sustainable. but idk if it’s adhd or what but it’s So hard to quickly start and stop tasks just Whenever#i struggle to be one of those ppl that can consistently write like. 500 words a day every day and then wow! soon you have a whole novel#nah. once i get myself in the Zone then i’m Goin’ and i can’t stop until i’m Done or i collapse from ignoring my body’s needs lmao#it’s something i should make an effort to do though bc i’d love to be consistently chipping away at things instead of working in bursts#anyways this is a lotta negative self-commentary for what is actually a Positive post! bc yay!! i wrote a thing!! Two things actually!!! 🎉#i got the follow-up to last year’s Matt oneshot done And i wrote the next chapter of Heaven in Hiding after uh. a year and some months#i wanted to blow the dust off the ol’ keyboard by starting with writing some less. uh. high-stakes(?) stuff#not that i didn’t put my all into writing them. i always do. just that ik they’ll have less of an audience so ill cringe less if they suck#so then i can hopefully do justice to the [N]MbD stuff that i’ll be putting out next! ehehe *rubbing my hands together* Finally#the next two [N]MbD fics r already written but the first little one needs a final edit#and then the Big one for. uh. someone (u kno who u r) needs a bit of rewriting i think. i wanna make it Better#so release schedule will be 1. Matt • 2. HiH Ch.3 • 3. [N]MbD small fic • 4. [N]MbD Big fic#then i’m gonna write a lil Boothill comfort oneshot. then i’ll edit/maybe rewrite and post that Dew (Ghost) OCD comfort oneshot#i also wanna keep writing the last couple chapters of HiH before i unintentionally abandon it again#and after/amidst all that maybe i’ll manage to get ES Ch.6 written and posted before the end of the year 😭#anyways ik i’ve made posts like this before. talking abt all these Plans of mine. and most of those things r Still stuck in the pipeline#so don’t put too much stock into this plan. i could have another Bad couple of months and get None of it done#but god i sure fucking hope not. i’d really like to cling to my creativity. if for no other reason than that it makes me happy
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🩷
#I recorded a lil clip of me singing the last classical song I learned back in high school#surprised I still know it so well#I’m not posting it cause DAMN I’m rusty as fuck#but I think it’ll be cool to have a before audio for when I start working on my voice again#lol wish I had a BEFORE audio from before high school and all my lessons#OOOOOFDA BESTIE NAH#I thought I was so fucking good and then I get to my performing arts high school#with a bunch of talented people and I realized I in fact sounded like a screeching walrus#but then I worked and studied through high school and I think I gotta pretty good#even went to a few competitions which was super weird but fun#aw I miss those days so much#so I’m going to try and get back into it#gonna be hard since I’m not like surrounded by it all the time#but I’m gonna start brushing up on my music theory and maybe even fuck around and compose a little bit#I used to learn songs in all of these different languages#I miss it so much#and I’ve decided I’m going to start creating the person I want to be and stop wishing I was that person#anywayyyyyyyyy#idk where I was gonna go with that#if anyone is *genuinely* interested in hearing my classical audio send me a message#but I’m not gonna post it cause bro let me tell you it’s rustyyyyyyyy#I got my high notes down but everything else? (and even leading up to the high notes) nah not there#supposedly I might be able to see the aurora borealis in my area tonight but I’m not holding my breath#I live next to too many damn lights and people ☹️😤😤#if anyone gets to see the lights tell me all about them! and if you have pictures please please PLEASE send me them!!!!!#shut up rosie
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chilling vibing getting stuff done and then suddenly getting hit by 'why do you try so hard to make something new and good and bend yourself backwards pushing for quality when that stuff is mostly discouraged and low effort quantity-over-quality stuff is constantly rewarded'
#life#was on a high after writing quite a bit today#but now feel like a deflating balloon lmao#like yeah nah yeah i've worked with social media enough to know that you have to play 'their' game in order to 'succeed'#but that whole premise is so soulless and yet#it's the shit paradox that most often the less time and effort you put into something the more likely it will do good online#but with constantly diminishing returns it can get pretty tough#like the pattern is there it's all in motion#and it's just gonna get worse and worse and worse#people barely reblog anymore barely comment#i started posting my writing because i thought 'well at least one person might like it!'#like... i cannot NOT write it's just who i am#but even with the folders full of personal writing and whatnot at some point i stopped#because writing is just incredibly lonely and it was starting to make me feel worse about it so i stopped#but yeah nah fam#i'm just fully in the period shits and getting emotional#but the ongoing decline of engagement and communication is just sad to see#like even artists around me who are incredibly talented i see them barely get any notes and if they do it's pretty much all likes#shit's depressing fam#and then on top of that we have people stealing shit from us#like that fucking guy who copied every bg3 creator's ideas and then started playing victim when called out#what was up with that lmao
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the way that people on this website are so quick to dunk on all religions because of their beef with the institution of christianity 😐 yes, institutions of religions have done horrendous and heinous shit. but you're acting as if religion is only the different denominations of christianity. y'all sometimes bring up judaism, very rarely islam, but you act as though the institution of one religion is now representative of how all religions - including ones without institutional power - are morally.
the fact that indigenous religions and spiritualities are totally left out of the conversation is really telling. because then you'd have to admit that religious institutions intentionally tried to wipe these beliefs out (and many were completely eradicated) due to how it ties in with culture - and if you kill a culture, you kill its people. religion itself is so heavily tied to many different cultures and is so crucial to their identities that indigenous americans risked felonies to continue their practices in secret up until the american indian religious freedom act passed in 1978. by blanket condemning all religions because of your issues with the institution of christianity, you literally fall in line with their colonizer rhetoric because to destroy all non-christian religions is their goal. and idc if you call yourself atheistic, to aid in the destruction of cultural religions places you in line with christian institutions rather than against it.
again: your issue is how major religions (mostly christianity) are used as an arm of colonization and the enforcement of white supremacist beliefs. stop dragging everybody else into your bullshit and focus your energy on the actual problem - because as it stands, secularism and atheism have become new branches of cracking down on religion because they can't do shit about christianity, but they can sure put down other religions and help in their destruction as an atheistic branch of white supremacy.
and as an aside, I am not saying "defend christianity." im saying target your energy at the institutions that are doing this damage, not the marginalized cultural religions or the people who practice these faiths and build community around them. because man, if y'all can't get behind the idea that religion can be crucial to a cultural identity, you're not at All ready to talk about how marginalized groups took christianity and made it their own (see: the black church; mexican catholicism) and how this became an important facet of communities, especially as it pertains to social movements.
#original#religion#yes im still mad about that post about mocking christianity and holding up the sun as worthy of worship because science and atheism#seeing mutuals reblog it to agree w it drove my blood pressure up#the tags are rancid and im sick of y'all#and again: IM AGNOSTIC#it's not my fkn place to tell someone that their beliefs are wrong or one set of beliefs lords over all others#im just a random white bitch from maine. not my fkn place to tell people that their gods are fake or nah#i full on stopped referring to myself as an atheist because of how it's used. just makes me sick
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Like whose gonna try and call THEMSELVES a brother to YOU while not being able to withstand a very expectable period of silence from me of which he was forewarned about as a possibility no matter how much Id rather it not happen if I had the choice, and regardless of how he interpretted that I Was Going To Try To Give That And Could Not Right There Because Thats Something Im Working On and You Also Know That. And wants to say I DONT know what LOVE is! btw.
#you want my 110% but cannot handle something you claim you want to be able to for me and have been able to before like. right in front of me#in my room. wants at least that one day a week but god forbid if that one day also includes some fucking nonverbality right in front of you#like i also say i will do and reserve the right to do regardless of how thats going to make you feel because its a Need for me. bc#“low energy” just isnt allowed either? until it is? and IM the one apparently moving goal posts. in which accused goal posts moving#are lived experiences ive literally. chronicled note for note here so I actually DID NOT FORGET and WAS NOT ALLOWED TO. ???#but THE problem HIS problem is I AM DRILLING HOLES IN HIS BUCKET??? DOORS RIGHT THERE. QUIT RUNNING INTO MY FUCKING DRILL. YOURE THE ONLY#ONE WHO CANNOT STOP RUNNING INTO THE POWER TOOLS I USE TO REBUILD??? MR I GO TO THERAPY???#So fucking mad at this foolish as shit Ive been dealt on top of all the other bullshit thats caused me to be internally focused again.#and still! smiling every day and working every day. :=) still able to give him every ounce of my grace up until the moments hes about to:#run away from a serious conversation AGAIN. say what I do goes into a void (wrt music and coding two hobbies that saved my life btw and he#knows that of course! and still has the audacity to say I work into a void btw! brother to me!!!)#want to claim im manipulative and cannot point to what I do and where I gain something from it other than Fucking With Him??? Fronting Him?#if you want to do that then maybe meet me where im pointing out where you are also being some type of objective. difference between you and#me. im only just now getting mean like he does. now pointing out the cycle of him using unadressed rhetoricals to get a RISE out of me.#and of course thats the same conversation he blocks me. !!!???? no excuses. same convo i again rexplain/apologizing for old shit again.#so nah actually come here read this blog these tags and understand why the fuck im going to message bomb your wife about the nature#of blocking here. yet again in the same vein of every other time HE chose to go and come back. safer now than ever to say im not the issue.
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In today’s episode of My Fav is Problematic,
I think if they at least acknowledge the videos, say they were kids following instructions then, but they know better now and won’t ever do it again or something, that’d be good enough. But I suspect they won’t address it at all.
#bare minimum#niggagate#being young isn’t generally accepted as an excuse but critical thinking is knowing that they didn’t know the GRAVITY of the word#i couldn’t even articulate to my friends to not use it or why at 15. not that Danny would’ve cared anyway#anfernee for sure wouldn’t have he was using hard r when he wanted to be particularly irritating but he got put out for that#let me stop naming names before I bring myself to a rant about that whole group#edited to add: nah fuck that a slur is a slur.#jennie#Lisa#cl#rosé#they brought jh starboy clip back on Twitter I had forgotten about that. i expected the gd clip (deep sigh) but I guess I’ll probably end up#inundated with posts from every time nigga was muttered with nary a nigga in sight
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