#will probably post on main???? ill see how it goes

[freedjustinemywife]

sketch

(im gonna finish it im gonna finish it im gonna finish it im gonna finish it)

[randal-pink-floyd]

for the first actual post on this blog, i think i'm going to talk about how some of the actors' experience (or lackthereof) added to their characters! this is all coming from my memory of Making Dazed (2005) as well as my own interpretation of the movie/characters. feel free to add to the post or send an ask or message me any thoughts you have about this! i could probably talk about dazed forever (hence why i made this blog!)

so starting with tony. anthony rapp was one of the only actors they cast that had any solid acting experience before Dazed*(sidenote about this under the cut). he came to set with his lines memorized, and it Shows. there were some times i found it a tad distracting, but that was mostly because i pick up on mannerisms really easily and i'm pretty familiar with rent (which, iirc, was pretty recent after dazed, so it makes sense there were similarities in both of his character's speech patterns).

anyway, i think it totally makes sense for tony as a character. he's one of the "intellectuals," he's a little awkward, he isn't comfortable at parties, and he speaks more eloquently/uses less slang than most of the other characters. it makes perfect sense that tony would speak as if he was reading from a script/had his lines memorized. i could totally picture tony like standing in front of a mirror and practicing what to say, you know?

then, there's mitch. absolutely no shade intended, love wiley wiggins, but the Nose Pinch. i gotta bring up the nose pinch (later) but looking at it purely from a casting stand-point, it makes so much sense to cast an actor with little-to-no experience as mitch. not only because they were already casting lesser-known actors from Austin , but because mitch is SUPPOSED to be awkward.

mitch is the epitome of the nervous up-coming freshman that just wants to fit in and look cool. throughout the movie, we see how mitch acts around older people he wants to impress, but not so much how he acts when he's alone. he's just absolutely fumbling his way through the night and it's funny, but it's also so earnest and it's honestly one of my favorite parts of the movie. (the "like how?" scene, i mean come ON) but seriously.

there are plenty lines that back up mitch's awkwardness, but the Acting ChoicesTM are also so fitting. as anyone who's paid any attention to mitch during Dazed knows, he has a habit of grabbing his nose. like SO. MUCH. and i see it talked about a lot in a negative way and, like. listen. is it award-winning acting? not really. but AGAIN. it's so earnest and endearing and in character!!

the big times i remember mitch pinching his nose are actually not directly in front of any of the high schoolers, but mostly when he's with his friends his age. at the baseball field with carl, at the emporium with sabrina, and at the beer bust with julie. what i got from all these moments is that mitch doesn't only try to play it cool in front of pink and everybody, but also in front of his peers. (i could definitely explore that in a different post, but not tonight)

at the baseball field, the football players are watching from the stands, but i don't think mitch was over-acting for them, specifically. he actually tries to act cool in front of carl later, when he buys the six pack for melvin and acts all nonchalant when carl asks him what he's got in the bag. so we know that mitch tries to act cooler than he probably is, regardless of who he's around. very relatable, tbh, ESPECIALLY because he's not even in 9th grade yet LMAO

i would say mitch also wants to act cool in front of sabrina, especially because he's still at the emporium and pink is right behind him. iirc, the nose pinch happens when sabrina tells him hirschfelder got busted, so it's possible that that was his genuine reaction, but also is it really that surprising? he could very well be playing into the hazing, because he knows that if he plays it right, he can get in with the cool crowd like pink.

and he DEFINTELY wants to act cool in front of julie. his lines totally support this, but again i think wiley wiggins' mannerisms (mitch-isms, if you will-) come across with julie, too.

whether or not the nose pinch was intentional or a habit or whatever is obvious up to interpretation. but i guess all this is to say that you can pry wiley wiggins' nose pinch and anthony rapp's perfectly delivered lines out of my cold dead hands.

there's a couple additional thoughts/facts about casting under the cut if you're interested! thanks for reading and, again, please lmk of any thoughts you have! :)

*I've heard (from various sources) that one of the reasons they didn't cast well-known actors at the time, because they spent a good portion (I think like 1mil/6 million?) of the budget on the soundtrack alone. I've also heard McConaughey say it was because there was a lull in coming-of-age movies and so there weren't as many well-known teen actors at the time! I'm pretty sure he talks about that in the doc I linked at the top of the post, but lmk if I'm wrong!

I really like this choice, especially as someone who grew up during the MCU when actors started getting cast just because of their name. that's happened forever and ever and definitely didn't start with the MCU, but it's still super refreshing to have a cast comprised of (at the time) small actors that were devoted to the film and not the fame.

it just adds to the authenticity and makes it so easy to disappear into the snapshot of time that dazed captures. i won't ramble on for too much longer and there are already youtube videos that say pretty much the same thing, but i just feel like Dazed shows its characters through a window and we can only see the parts in front of the window, but if we look hard enough we can see a little bit more. but i just work here.

if you read this far, im kissing you on the lips

[eyepatchdate]

something something, barbara is actually the like. main next gen hero of the arkhamverse because shes the only one who voices to batman that shes continuing the crusade etc etc

[lostingrayrain]

hello hello!! i bought homicipher the day it came out and i'm so in love with it.. but there's no content whatsoever and i'm so sad 😭😭 could you write literally anything for any character.. i just need to see more homicipher content!!! 😭😭💗

I GOT YOU ANON I've clocked in like 20 hours since the release on November 1st omg....

I've been cooking up something for my first Homicipher post.....here's some general thoughts on the relationships/dynamics with the main guys.

Characters: Mr. Crawling, Mr. Silver Hair / Mr. Silvair, Mr. Gap, Mr. Hood, Mr. Machete, Mr. Scarletella

Word Count: 1454

Warnings: sfw, some mentions of canon-typical violence

Mr. Crawling

He loves you!! He loves you so, so, so much!!!

Do you love him?

He asks you that. A lot. He loves to be reassured that you adore him. And he's always vocal about how much he adores you.

He follows you everywhere, like a lost puppy. It's honestly so endearing and sweet. He's constantly on the lookout for you.

He also adores physical touch, once he knows it's fine. Other than the little headpats, he likes to touch your legs, especially your calves. In times of rest he's incredibly cuddly and loves to nuzzle into you.

Pet his hair and he'll melt immediately. It's so relaxing to him.

He's usually with you, but when he's not he's often on the lookout for gifts and trophies to bring to you. He just wants to make you happy, in any way possible. The second there's anything you mention liking or being fond of, it's a priority for him to see if he can scrounge it up.

If you'll let him, he'd love to touch your hair. He will play with it and make silly nonsensical braids and giggle quietly to himself all the while.

He's a bit of a chatterbox. He loves to talk to you. Any time he's been away he likes to give you little reports of what he's done or what he's seen. And he wants to hear all about your day or your dreams, too. There's never a time he won't want to hear what you have to say.

Mr. Silver Hair / Mr. Silvair

You are so very interesting to him! He wants to study you.

But not hurt you. Normally, he probably would have already dismembered you to watch how your body pulls together again, but since you're friends with Mr. Chopped, he's put aside that urge.

Instead it's been replaced by something else, though he doesn't really understand what it is. He's never felt it before. Or maybe he has? Maybe he doesn't remember? Could you help him remember?

Whenever you’re feeling ill, he finds that he wants to make you feel better. He’s trying hard to learn how to keep you together just as you are.

He’ll get you to lie down when it seems you’re feeling faint, and carry you to bed when you collapse in the middle of an errand. Before he realises it, he's massaging your hair. Think nothing of it. Your head hurts, right? So it makes sense to pet you.

He likes to watch you sleep. He can’t put a finger on why. He likes to tell himself he’s doing armchair research when he’s really just….zoning out.

He's extremely perceptive and observant. He's always checking your reactions to things and events to figure out what you like or don't like, or to try to understand how you're feeling in the moment.

He's the type to politely ask if it's okay to touch you before doing so.

He would never hurt you unless your urges became unbearable, in which case it's self-defense, right? He'll make sure you'll turn back to normal and he'll be there for you every step of the way.

Mr. Gap

He's probably...one of the strangest denizens of the otherworld. You're still not sure if he has a body. But he has helped you on multiple occasions. You've found yourself growing fond of him.

You often see him peeking at you from various holes and gaps. Sometimes he tries to get your attention, sometimes he doesn't. Sometimes he just watches.

When you find a bag in the underworld, you begin carrying it around with you.

He's usually inside, but sometimes not. You have no idea where he goes.

He'll often bring back little gifts like weapons or food, like some bizarre cat. When he finds out you like candy, he tends to focus on that.

He always asks for your heart before he gives you anything, and you always say no, and he always grumbles.

But somehow you'll always find those same things coincidentally in your path or somewhere in the room after you wake up, if you've taken a nap.

He likes to scope out newspapers and magazines too, and show them to you, especially if they feature himself. He's so proud of that.

Over time, his requests for your heart grow less and less frequent. Sometimes, you forget he used to ask you for it at all, until he suddenly pipes up with the query again.

Is his wanting your heart the same thing as wanting your love? Things to ponder.

Mr. Hood

He's quiet and reclusive but he's there for you whenever you need him.

You need or want anything? Just ask. He'll give it to you immediately with hardly a question.

No harm will ever come to you whenever you're with him, and he hardly lets you out of his sight. He's incredibly protective of you.

He loves to carry you in his arms or on his shoulder, whether you're small or not. It's no bother to him. He's more than strong enough.

Hand touches are so pleasant to him -- whether you're touching his hands, or he's touching your face. He's secretly touch-starved. As long as you don't shy away, he'll continue to hold onto you.

He enjoys quizzing you on your knowledge of the otherworld language. When things are slow, he’ll randomly ask you if you know the names of certain things.

Whenever you both encounter something new during your travels, he’s quick to ask you if you know what it is or outright tells you what it’s called.

He seems a bit self-conscious of having minimal form. What is under his robe? If you don't ask he'll be grateful. He doesn't know himself.

But if you're not repulsed by his anomalous form, that's just -- incredibly touching.

He claims to not understand love, but he'll never abandon you.

Maybe he doesn't understand. Maybe he's forgotten.

But there's something about you that comforts him, and makes him feel safe. Quite paradoxical -- he's the one doing the protecting, after all. But your presence soothes him.

Mr. Machete

He's just looking for a way to not be bored. And being with you -- somehow, it's fun.

Maybe because he's usually alone, so he doesn't often have anyone else to talk to. It's...fun to banter with you, even if sometimes your words confuse him.

It's unquestionable that he's the brawn, you're the brain of this duo. Maybe the beauty and the beast, too?

He's always, secretly, been a little bit of a coward. The second things don't look like they'll turn out well for him, he ditches and flees.

But, oddly, you give him the courage to stand against things or monsters he would have thought were impossible to defeat.

Sometimes, you die -- whether by accident or because something else got to you before he could. But he always sighs and waits for you to wake up again. If you're mad, it's a little funny. You were just too slow that time.

He likes sparring with you. You have to get faster, right? Your weapon is pretty funny, too. So small and yet somehow you manage to not get overwhelmed by him. He's not holding back. He never would. Right?

He likes to pick you up and sling you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Likes to hug you like a teddy bear, too. You're soft and warm. You feel nice against him.

He's not the type to ask, but if you made any indication of not liking anything, he'd stop. He doesn't want to break you.

Mr. Scarletella

You are his queen. He literally worships the ground you walk on.

You are so fascinating to him. He just can't believe he's found someone as perfect as you. Someone who likes to destroy and kill people, just like him? Immaculate.

You haven't and never will give him your name. That's fine. He can live with that, as long as you're with him.

You've likely given him something else to call you. It's not quite your name -- maybe it's not your full name, and he knows it, because he can't quite grasp your essence. But it's enough to be able to give a sound to the person -- thing -- he likes most in this world.

He likes to say that not-quite name, and he says it often, just to get your attention.

He's fascinated by everything about you -- including how small you are in comparison to him. He loves that he can easily dwarf your form and loom over you. It's exhilarating in a completely different way from mindless violence.

Speaking of which, his favourite thing is without a doubt to commit violence with you. There's a new urban legend steadily growing in the human world, of a pair of murderers characterised by their red and white umbrellas. You're the perfect perfectly awful duo, truly.

Even when he's not with you, he's always somehow got an eye on you. Most of the otherworld residents know by now who you belong to, and they'd never lay hand on the one cherished by the red umbrella man.

[iayos]

𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 (𝐄𝐖𝐖) !

jjk boys and their icks… because no man is perfect…

jjk boys x implied fem!reader

cw : men being gross, slight nsfw in nanami’s part, very mild misogyny if you squint in megumi’s part, this post was literally just so i could rant kinda

a / n : long time no see… not much to say other than i’ve been busy !!! anyways hope you enjoy :)

yuji itadori - bad grammar

giving him the tamest one tbh because he’s such a sweetheart </3 idk why but i feel like he just has such shitty grammar… like he’s smart ! just not when it comes to grammar. for example, he mixes up his to, too, and two’s, his there’s, and don’t get me started on your vs you’re :/ again he’s the sweetest boy ever ! it’s just the fact he probably failed his lit classes…

megumi fushiguro - “females”…

i was so close to giving this to satoru but i didn’t cause he has shoko to hold him down, megumi on the other hand… look, i don’t think he’d say it in front of girls, but to other dudes, yk ? and i definitely don’t think it’s on purpose to try and be an asshole but it just happens. quickly unlearns it when he says it around maki though.

yuta okkotsu - referring to himself in third person

you guys know how elmo is like, “elmo wants to go to the park,” yeah… yuta does this. and no, it’s not ironically. he definitely thinks it’s cute too and sometimes it is ! but it’s to an extent. like it’s cute the first couple times where he is goes, “yuta loves you,” but then it gets weird and corny when he’s like, “yuta wants to get dinner,” like ermmmm ok…

toge inumaki - fish pics.

as someone who lives in those south i see these OFTEN. for those who don’t know, fish pics are basically when dudes hold up fish they caught while fishing and post pictures of them holding it… i think the main problem with this to me is that a lot of very weird and racist men do it, so that’s why i hate it. anyways i’m 90% sure he has an official art where he’s holding a fish ( i also didn’t know what ick to give him ).

satoru gojo - his height is his whole personality

this shit irks me so bad omg. as someone who’s short ( 5’0 ) and hates seeing other short people make their whole personality their height, it’s even worst when it’s a tall person. satoru is definitely the type to be like, “omg guysss i bumped my head otw hereeee i’m so tallll,” like no you’re just stupid ! he definitely has other icks but this was the main one i could think of… ik he gets on everyone’s nerves.

suguru geto - says “my bad” instead of “im sorry”

another personal one tbh. i hate hate hate when people do this especially if it’s something serious. i remember one time someone pushed me in the mud ( i didn’t fully go on, just my foot ) and i got mud all over my white shoes and they have the audacity to go, “my bad,” like yeah it is your bad lmao. anyways, suguru def does this often especially to shoko. i feel like he’s pretty clumsy and say if shoko’s studying and he knocks over a drink onto her books he’ll say “my bad” and not even attempt to help her clean it up. like dude at least say sorry or something idk ???

nanami kento - calls his dick anything but a dick

“my member” you are grown !!! say dick !!! he does it to be ‘classy’ but like, he is pushing 30 doing this, just say dick. i also think it’s a shame thing ? idk probably hanging out with stsg for most of his teen years rotted his brain so he hates hearing really nasty stuff but he won’t even say penis half the time. like it’s really not that serious nobody wants to call your dick a phallus ( it was also really hard to give him an ick ).

choso - using ���� / 🥹

oh BROTHERRRR this one pisses me off. i hate both of those emojis in general but especially when men do it, it’s cornball behavior. like aren’t you supposed to be fighting in wars ? stand up. but i don’t think he has any ill intentions at all, honestly just picks emojis that represent his mood often. however he definitely uses 😂 instead of 😭… sorry choso…

song : ick - lay bankz

[beheamothscreamoth]

Touchstarved + Pokémon Crossover

I'm a big fan of the two games, so for the heck of it, I decided to throw the main cast of Touchstarved into the world of Pokémon! I came up with some Pokémon they might use and what their roles could be if they were in it >:D

(Shoutout to @winterwhisperz-blog for encouraging me to post this!! ^w^)

Leander

Considering his role in the TS universe and how sociable he is, I think he’d make a great Gym Leader! He was probably a member of the Elite Four but he dropped out. Leander's Bloodhounds would be the trainers that fight you before you get to him! (Despite his position, he may also just be a Little Bit Evil™, kind of like Giovanni) I can see him having a more varied team, but he seems suitable for Poison/Bug type! (or Normal type to really emphasise that he’s normal guys he’s so normal- /j /lh)

His team might look something like:

Scizor

Venusaur

Nidoqueen

Ais

Honestly?? I can see him filling a lot of roles! (It's because of the protagonist energy he gives off-) I can see him being a Gym Leader like Leander, but I love the image of him being a rival to the MC! He’d probably prefer more tougher Pokémon in a fight (though I don’t think he’d shy away from Pokémon that are harder to raise), so he might lean towards Fighting and Water type. (He’d also have a dog Pokémon nicknamed Princess,,)

Part of his team might look like:

Tentacruel

Garchomp/Gyarados

Machoke/Machamp

(Lycanrock?)

Kuras

I can see him being a Pokémon Professor or Teacher! He’d probably lean towards Fairy and Normal type :D I can see him having service Pokémon (like how Nurse Joy has her Chansey), if only because he is a doctor in the original TS universe... (I also like to think that even though his team may be comprised of service Pokémon, if they were put in a fight, they would absolutely destroy the other team 💀)

His team might look like:

Blissey

Drampa

Musharna

(Gardevoir/Gallade?)

Mhin

They’d probably be a Pokémon Researcher? I don’t think they’d have that many Pokémon on their team, to be honest,, They might have a preference towards Flying + Ghost types, but I have a hard time seeing them being super into Pokémon battles - they probably only fight when it's necessary!

Their team might look like:

Corviknight

Misdreavus

Dusknoir?

(Murkrow/Honchkrow?)

Vere

I think he’d be an admin on one of the enemy teams! (Maybe the Senobium in this universe is the enemy team...?) He’d be a very skilled trainer - his Pokémon are probably more focussed on speed and attacking-- I can see him leaning towards Fire and Dark type!

His team might look like:

Houndoom

Liepard

Salazzle

(Krookodile?)

Bonus MC Insert (Please add on your own Touchstarved MC / OCs if you're interested! What Pokémon would they have? What would they do?)

Daniella

I can see her being a Pokémon Breeder! I like the image of her going off on a journey of a Pokémon Trainer and putting her duties as a breeder temporarily on hold, but I'm not entirely sure how it would kick off-- Maybe she goes on this journey to see the world, or, if we want to tie in the original game, go look for a cure to heal a mysterious illness of one of the Pokémon she looks after? I can see her team being Pokémon consisting of Psychic + Normal types!

Her team would include:

Sigilyph

Kirlia (evolves into Gardevoir)

Kadabra (evolves into Alakazam)

(Deerling [evolves into Sawsbuck])

If you guys have any other thoughts or opinions, please feel free to add them! :D

[hirayaea]

what is your opinion about queen mc?

hello anonie ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

ohhh thank you for such a nice question! I am sure that I have mentioned several times that I love the Astria Knyght era, and it goes without saying that queen mc’s story is definitely one of the most interesting plot lines for me as a seiya main

all seiya-mc-incarnations are products of their time— their personalities, mannerisms and the way they make decisions shift a bit based on their circumstance + which era they were born in. they’re also all heavily influenced by how xavier treats them

let me expound by comparing shooting stars mc and queen mc:

1) shooting stars mc was born in a recently-made-post-earth Philos. she mentions her teachers still lived on earth and the way they do school is still quite similar to how education was done in earth. immortality is known to the human race but not everyone is blessed with it—there are still illnesses modern medicine cannot cure, and she has been told that she will not live as long as everyone else. at the point that we meet her, she’s already accepted her fate; this makes her very headstrong—a go-getter so to speak—choosing to live out her dreams the way she wants because she knows she’s on borrowed time. when she develops a crush on xavier, she doesn’t hesitate—she confidently takes a leap of faith and asks him out, barging into his life like a whirlwind, literally taking his hand and whisking him away. she’s smitten and she knows it! her happiness is her hands and she doesn’t want any regrets in her short life. she’s young and free and unashamed, and this works on her xavier because he’s the exact opposite—caged and restrained, bound by duty and family he didn’t even choose. she’s a breath of fresh air for him, and you can see he looks to her with awe and adoration, which only makes her braver. until the end, she wasn’t afraid to show xavier her feelings, and even after they were separated, all she wanted was to tell him that she wanted to be with him again, because despite their time together only being fleeting, he made her happy.

2) queen mc, on the other hand, was taken in as a child* by her swordsmaster and mentor, and was told from a young age that she would train to become xavier’s grandis knight. i’m assuming they met in this circumstance—with their roles already being known to each other—xavier as future king and mc as his protector. duty was always a prominent factor in their relationship. it explains why queen mc takes her role so seriously; she wants to perform well in school, be good at swordsmanship, and she scolds xavier for abandoning his duties when he avoids his family and plays hooky. yet she still covers for him when push comes to shove. it is quite obvious she is in love with him; they are childhood friends, sparring partners, and are probably are always together—likely it’s a love that grew over time, something that bloomed without her even realizing it. but the thing is, this love of hers conflicts with her duty, and since she grew up wanting to excel at her role, it makes her confused and insecure. not to mention, xavier is never direct enough with her when it comes to his own feelings. she senses he is in love with someone but she doesn’t know who, and it adds to her doubts—in the end the two of them never have a straight conversation about how they feel. queen mc always feels like xavier is talking about someone else because her insecurities don’t lead her to believe he could mean her, while xavier is too focused on the bigger picture + saving her life (without her knowing) to elaborate. because xavier also knows how focused she is on achieving her goals, he’s chosen to take a more supportive role with regards to romance—he gives her hints that he wants to whisk her away, but only if she wants to run. in the end the choice is up to her, but because she’s also uncertain of xavier’s feelings, she doesn’t quite grasp the depth of what he means and instead chooses to respond with what she knows—that she’s focused on being a grandis knight. xavier takes this in stride and continues to wait for her while trying to achieve his own agenda. in the end, though, they both choose to fulfill their duties; xavier ends up choosing to do operation backtrack to save philos (and her), while mc chooses to become queen of philos to protect the kingdom she swore to serve.

what is interesting for me regarding the decisions they made is that it is xavier that initiates it; sometime in the 200 year gap they were separated, he figures out that there is no way to save mc in the current timeline and he must go back to the beginning to save her life. he actually tells mc this but mc assumes he’s talking about a different girl, and you can see that she tries to give up on him right then and there. her insecurities eat her up and her defense mechanism is to put up a wall and tell him “okay, you do your duty and i’ll do mine”. essentially instead of confessing her love (which she has awkwardly tried to convey) she assumes xavier doesn’t choose her, so she also doesn’t choose him, and they both choose the greater powers they serve. at the end of the anecdote we know she is extremely heartbroken about this, as she makes that extremely sad monologue about her star leaving her.

i point this out because given that mc felt like xavier had a different beloved, i wonder how things might have been if xavier was more direct with her? honestly he was giving enough hints but our girl was so deep in her belief that he loved someone else that she just kept on falling down that rabbit hole and never got out of it. but i still blame xavier because i strongly sense he knew he wasn’t being clear enough and the vagueness was intentional for his own goals (to protect her and philos from the truth)

the lightseeker era could honestly have its own drama show and I’d be there for it 100%

sorry I rambled a lot, feel free ask more questions for clarification :)

thank you ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

[wolfisblank]

I don't think I've seen anyone else talk about anything like this in regards to Reese's writing, so I wanted to throw my thoughts into the void. I'm a bit nervous to post this tbh, but here goes.

!! Full spoilers for Scarlet Hollow episode 4 !!

Part of the reason I like Reese as a character a lot, why he really clicked with me, is that we have a lot in common. "Chronically ill depressed artist who rarely leaves his house and has a difficult relationship with a parent who thinks they know better" could describe us both. But that's not why he clicked with me. He, and the mystery around him, intrigued me. But I didn't really become so attached to him until episode four.

And I think the reason why is that I have a heavily stigmatized mental illness. And because of that, the chapter 4 story really resonated with me.

Everyone around him panics, seeing him as a monster who's dangerous to everyone around him. In reality, despite his heightened emotions and his overreacting (perhaps even paranoid) state of mind, his mind is not monstrous. He's perfectly aware and coherent. He's able to clearly articulate that he's not dangerous, he doesn't want to hurt anyone else, and this is just about his mother. And he's not a threat to the main character, who he also views as someone in need of protection. He says it stops with her. We really don't have any reason to not believe him beyond being a monster. Especially considering that he's right, it does stop with her; the only other person he attacks is Wayne (in self-defense), and he immediately de-transforms after killing Dr. Kelly if it's done in front of the player. Even in the basement obedience route, where he's still transformed and in a much less regretful state of mind, he still calmly talks to the player about what he did, and leaves when Wayne shows up. But no one believes him. No one listens. Because of what he is, he's "inherently dangerous". And because of that he can't be trusted and has to be locked away for everyone else's safety. Or even killed, depending on the route. It resonated with me.

My main playthrough, my self-insert character, has Book Smart + Talk to Animals, so there is no Hot trait to save me here. When I first played chapter 4, I called Tabitha, as I am prone to do. And I was horrified that when the time came, it took away my choice to let Reese go free. It is the only tough choice in the game where I rewound and changed the outcome. Because I couldn't do that to him. I love Joan. She's a very interesting character, she's thoroughly humanized, and though what she did to her son was horrible and traumatic and life-ruining, I understand her. She's probably in my top 3 or top 5 favorite characters. But when I saw what Reese's situation was, what she had done to him, and what she was planning on continuing to do to him, I couldn't let her. Despite how much I liked her, I couldn't do that to him.

I'm lucky for my real life situation. But there's a world out there where that is me. There's a world out there where my parent found out about my "dangerous" (see: stigmatized) mental illness early on, when I was less good at hiding it, when they were my primary (and practically only) caregiver, and panicked. There's a world out there where some tough choices would have been made as a parent. Not to that extreme, but still, some real and potentially damaging choices. I stared into the maw of a creature who everyone called a monster for just being himself, who wanted to free himself from the person who planned to continue keeping him prisoner, and I thought who am I, of all people, to do that to him? Maybe one day she'll let him go free. She doesn't like keeping him there. I'd like to think she would. But if she has the right to make the tough call, then so do I, so does he. It's his life.

Anyway on a slightly lighter note... if Reese's situation is intended to be mental illness-coded, then I'm gonna throw my hat in the ring and say it's something schizo-spec. I'm not schizo-spec myself but I noticed some things in him that could be read that way and chatted about it a bit with a friend who is, who said she can see the angle. I'd list my reasons as to why I think that but this post is already long enough as-is. This is more a rumination on my own feelings than exploring my thoughts on the interpretation. I might make a post about that later if anyone is interested in reading it.

And I can also see why someone who is mentally ill wouldn't like this angle for his character. Like oh yeah, the potentially mentally ill-coded character turns into a giant monster that either eats his mother or is tranquilized and locked away or fucking shot and burned to death while half-alive. I see why that wouldn't be a fun way to read the situation for some. An interpretation that resonates for me may not resonate for everyone, and that's fine.

One final thing: I obviously don't know, or even necessarily think, that this was the intention behind his writing. If Black Tabby said anything about that, I haven't seen it. I don't like to assume author intent behind stuff like this, especially considering that Scarlet Hollow isn't even finished yet. This is just one interpretation, one mentally-ill guy's reflection on why a game made him feel a certain way. I got thinking about that recent comment about how there was something people were overlooking about Reese, and that lead me to thinking about why it is that I felt the way I did when I played that chapter, and why made the choice I did in the end, despite my feelings about the characters. And this is the result.

[blackheart-6]

noelle holiday age progression chart

without height lines

explanations of designs:

hi yall

so, i actually finished this drawing like a week ago lol. but i didnt want to post a bunch of drawing in a row, and then i got sick, so i havent been able to post it till now!

its my imaginings of what noelle looked like as she grew up, and a potential adult noelle design! ill explain my thought processes about these designs below, if anyones interested 😁

i also plan on doing one of these with dess, but this one was pretty difficult, so it might be awhile before that (unless yalls are interested in seeing it?)

first off, im not 100% sure ill keep using all these designs. some of them im not that happy with (im no good at designing outfits 😔) but i just went with them so i could finish the drawing. so if anyone has any alternative outfit ideas for any of her ages, id be interested in seeing/hearing it!

secondly, something that may stick out to yall for all the designs is how tall she gets. its the same height i normally draw her with, but given how i usually draw her by herself you cant really tell how tall she is! i have 3 main reasons for why i headcanon her as this tall: deer are pretty tall irl, so having her be tall makes sense in my head; i just like the look of her being super tall, it makes me happy lol; and third, i personally also headcanon the holiday family as boss monsters (i think ive explained this headcanon before on here, so i wont explain again, unless someone is interested ^^). so yeah, she ends up being 7 feet tall as an adult, the second tallest in her family!

also, i gave all her children forms stripes in some way, as a reference to when monster kid in undertale says they can tell frisk is a kid because of their stripes!

now onto my explainations for individual drawings!

theres nothing really to say about her baby design. the only thing i did that might be new is give her faun spots! they are most plentiful on her baby form, but they persist until shes in her teens, i would say (on here you cant see them after age 7, but thats just because i imagine they are mostly on her back). and i gave her a cute lil onsie that says a-deer-able! if you guys cant read it ^^

this outfit i made for her toddler design is actually an outfit ive used in the past! i wonder if yall know what drawing it was? its pretty much the same as it was there, i just added a stripe to the shirt. i felt like overalls are so reminiscent of childhood, i had to give at least one of her designs them! i also added a little mistletoe to the front pocket, to make it more christmas-esque. and i gave her some bandaids, just cause.

7 years old is one of the designs i really struggled on, and im still not happy with it. i dunno if ive said this yet, but i headcanon noelle to be trans, so at 7 is when i decided she started realizing it. so here i gave her long sleeves and pants, to show how shes more hidden now because shes unhappy with herself, if that makes any sense? i was also trying to make her look a bit like a nerd, with the button up and khakis, just because its funny. but yeah, ill probably end up changing this design at some point :P

11 years old was one of the easiest to do, considering how ive had her design for this age for awhile lol. one thing i did change was going from 2 red/white stripes to one, but ive done that before, so it wasnt something entirely new. i also gave her a smile and closed eyes, cause shes happy being a girl 🥰. other that that, its the same, so yeah, thats it for this part

okay, this next design is a fairly different looking one than all the rest, but i have my reasons! at this point in noelles live, dess has gone missing, so i wanted to show her being sad and stuff. i also gave her shoes and long sleeves because she probably goes out looking for dess when she can, hoping to find a lead 😭. but outside of in-story stuff, this outfit is based off of an old one i drew, but its fairly edited, so i wouldnt be surprised if no one recognizes it even if they have seen my old stuff. she has straight hair here, to show how unhappy she is (idk what it is about straight hair it just feels sad) and because i wanted to give her different hair varieties on this progression chart. i gave her antlers 2 prongs each at this point, because the way i see deer monsters, their antlers show their growth/aging, so youll see them getting bigger and having more prongs as the chart continues.

this outfit for 15 is another one i dont like. i tried to make it similar to her current outfit, but still pretty different. im not even sure what precisely i dont like about this outfit, it just doesnt feel that good. for this one i gave her leg warmers because i used to (and sometimes still do) draw her normal outfit with them. i gave her the curly hair she has as a callback to when i used to draw her hair like that! but yeah, ill probably end up redoing this one too

for 17, i just gave her the normal outfit, so it was easy ^^. in game i think shes 16, but close to turning 17, so i just went with 17 here to fit the +2 age pattern thing i had going on. i also gave her an extra horn prong than i normally give her, just to show age once again

finally, her adult design! i dont like this one either lol. i spent so long trying to think of what outfit to give her, but i couldnt come up with something i liked >.< so i just gave her something simple. i feel like once noelle graduates high school and probably goes to college she branches out more and tries things her mother never let her do, which is why i gave her an outfit like that, that has a crop top and a shorter skirt. also, yalls might recognize the hair style i gave her, i drew a potential adult noelle before and i gave her the same hair ^^

i think thats all for the post! i probably have more thoughts that im just not thinking of, but its fine for now. i hope yall enjoyed the drawing, and if you have any question or comments or whatever, go ahead and say them!! if youve made it this far, have a cookie, you must be hungry after reading so much ^^ 🍪

[neurodivergentshiftingcultureis]

໑ৎ♡ Get To Know The Account And The Creator ♡໑ৎ

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໑ৎ♡ About The Account ♡໑ৎ

This is an account for Neurodivergent Reality Shifters to send in asks specifically about what Neurodivergent Shifting Culture is to them, how they experience it, an example of it, and other similar topics to those things.

So, you would say: “Neurodivergent Shifting Culture is ____”

If anyone has any questions on what is allowed to be sent in, just leave a comment or send an ask to begin with, and I’ll let you know. <3

The list of regular anons will be here: 🔮🦐

Before you follow, interact, or send in asks, know that permashifters, respawners, and those who shift to a reality where they’re a different race or age (as long as you aren’t doing it for p3dophilic reasons, or visa versus) are very welcome on this page.

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໑ৎ♡ About The Creator ♡໑ৎ

I’m Rhysand (pronounced Reese-Sund), also known as Rhys (pronounced Reese). I’m a Neurodivergent, Queer, and Nonhuman Reality Shifter.

Neurodivergent Identity:

I’m undiagnosed AuDHD (Autism + ADHD), APD (Auditory Processing Disorder), SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder), ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder), and Pure O OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), medically recognized PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and SAD (Social Anxiety Disorder), and diagnosed MDD (Major Depressive Disorder) and GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder). I’m also undiagnosed PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) and/or PME (Premenstrual Exacerbation).

I also have a few other undiagnosed things, like BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder), Misophonia, Excoriation Disorder, and Trichotillomania. Those are things that just come along with my “main” mental illnesses and neurodivergencies.

I don’t yet have the confidence to say that I’m disabled (because I don’t wish to intrude on that community or mislabel myself), but I probably am, due to my severe daily executive dysfunction and a few other things.

I have special interests in Wings Of Fire, Harry Potter, Dragons in general, and Neurodivergency.

I have no current hyperfixations, and I’m incredibly low on dopamine.

Tone tags are very appreciated when talking to me, so please use them! If you aren’t sure how, just ask and I will let you know! <3

Shifting Things:

I first found shifting in 2020 or 2021 on Tiktok, and as soon as I heard about it, I did my own research on it. I started trying to shift often, even with my lack of knowledge on the subject and my poor mindset. I originally wanted to permashift and/or respawn, but after I realized just how much it was effecting me mentally, I took a major break from it for about 3 or 4 years, only trying to shift occasionally.

I found shiftblr in early 2024, and my shifting knowledge increased, my mindset improved, and my motivation was renewed.

I’ve shifted once to a parallel reality, where I relived/redid a day.

I’m considering permashifting to my Better CR DR, but I have way too many DRs, so we’ll see how that goes.

Queer Identity:

I’m very queer in the gender, NOT a girl or under the womanhood category, and I use He/They pronouns + any/all neopronouns, nounself pronouns, xenopronouns, and emojiself pronouns.

My most preferred pronouns are He/Him, It/Its, Xe/Xym, Ze/Zym, Ne/Nim, Ne/Nym, 🌙/🌙’s/🌙self, Moon/Moonself, Bug/Bugself, Bee/Beeself, and honestly a lot more. Go haywire, as long as it’s not She/Her, you’re all good.

I’m AroAce, Aromantic and Myrsexual (Neuroasexual, Nebulasexual, Requiesexual, Rosesexual, Merosexual, Placiosexual, Falsaesthsexual, Acorsexual, Apothisexual, Bellussexual, and Dreadsexual), and I’m Homoalterous, Omniqueerplatonic, Panexteramo, Pansensual, and Panaesthetic.

I’m a Lesboy and T4T-leaning.

I’m Ambiamorous and have no preference.

Please use masculine, neutral, creature, fey, dragon, wolf, and thing terms when referring to me.

Nonhuman Identity:

I’m a Polytherian, Otherkin, Otherlink, Otherfix, Otherhearted, and Fictionflicker. I fluctuate between Nonhuman and Human, sometimes one is stronger than the other one and visa versus, but always on some level both, but I mainly just say I’m nonhuman. I’m Transspecies and Voidpunk. I’ve only been awakened for a few months.

My theriotypes are Vancouver Coastal Sea Wolf, Red Fox, Nurse Shark, Snow Leopard, Norwegian Forest Cat, and Canada Lynx.

My kintypes are fictionkin (Dark Fey, Forest Type, from the Maleficent movies), dragonkin (SeaWing/SilkWing hybrid), dragonkin (Night-Light Fury Hybrid) and Raccoonkin.

My linktypes are Owl (Snowy or Barn) and Sable.

I’ve been Fictionflicker for Hylian and one of my OC species (Orphinki).

I have a Whale Shark Hearttype.

My Other Accounts:

@rhysandshiftingthespectrum - My account for Neurodivergent Shifters and my new main shifting account and main account overall

@toomuchdivergentformyneuro - My account for my Neurodivergency, Special Interests, and Hyperfixations

Other:

I’m taken by my lovely boyfriend ( @thesunnishboy ) and I’m not looking for any more partners.

I’m celiac, have a dairy intolerance, have pollen allergies, and a dust allergy, plus probably allergic to other shit, so woo for me. (Sarcasm.)

I’m a minor (16).

I’m Agnostic, a bit spiritual, and I’m very respectful of others’ religions.

I have one sibling (She/Her), and she has two accounts on here, although she isn’t that active.

I stand with Palestine.

I love answering asks of any and all kinds, so never be afraid to ask, you are not bothering me or being annoying or too much. <3

I’m pro non-offending p@raph!les and etc., who are in recovery/getting help.

I’m pro endogenic systems, mixed origin systems, non-traumagenic systems, etc.

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໑ৎ♡ DNI List ♡໑ৎ

Any queerphobes (including those against intersex, mspec lesbians and gays, lesboys, turigirls, gaybians, etc., just basically any contradictory label, radqueers, TERFs, and SWERFs), racists, sexists, proshippers, those who sexualize age-regressors and pet-regressors, ableists (including those who demonize personality disorders), those against physical alterhumans, those against furries, offending MAPs and P@raph!les + supporters, pro-ED, pro-SH, pro-SI, those who romanticize any sort of mental illness, neurodivergency, and/or disability, anti-shifters, those against permashifters, respawners, and race-changers, those against endogenic/non-traumagenic/etc. or mixed origins or unknown origins systems, those against Palestine, those who’s blogs are Christian or God/Jesus Christ themed heavy (nothing against y’all, just have trauma with it), those who directly send NSFW stuff towards me, those who can’t respect boundaries, JK Rowling supporters, and just about anybody else that makes me uncomfortable. I will block verrrry freely.

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[vitanithepure]

Gale's romance

To absolutely nobody's surprise I am back with my thoughts about Gale and I am honestly surprised how many of you still follow me and interact with what I have to say, love you all so much 😭

Again, a freaking long one (over 1200 words, I wrote fanfics shorter than this...), but I need to get it all out of my system to properly function. Of course spoilers for Gale's story and a bit of the main storyline.

First of all - his introduction. Not less of a jump-scare, but somehow this one seemed to fit him better? He doesn't come out of the portal and begin judging our capabilities, instead we help him out, and if anything - I felt an instant level of sympathy for the wizard falling face first on the ground straight out of an unstable portal.

His bashful "I'm usually better at this."? It just served to even out the field and I love it. I was literally sitting there grinning at the screen and thinking "oh, how the mighty have fallen" :D

We still get all the talks known from EA (apart from the failed spell one? Did anyone manage to trigger it? Did they remove it?), so I won't be going over them again, because there is still a lot of new stuff to go through. Although they seem to fire up differently and it makes Gale seem a lot more considerate. Sure, at first he still hides the exact reasons and I still think it's understandable. In my playthrough he brought up his orb problem on the road, in front of the others with us claiming we need to know about it. 

He even leaves us the decision if we want him to stay or not, but we cherish this man in this house, so I have no idea what goes down if and how he leaves. Not really interested in learning that, too.

Him showing us the Weave was as wonderful as it used to, didn't notice any changes here, then again - why change something that just…works? And now, in hindsight, I cannot help but see how it sets the tone for the whole relationship with him, be it romantic or otherwise. He shows you this part of him he loves, tries to show because even he, with all his eloquence, cannot find the right words to express what magic means to him.

I feel as if he was not expecting much from it, judging by the mumbling, adorable mess we made of him just imagining a walk, hand in hand. As we learn later (much later, but I think it's important to mention it here) he never considered being this close to anyone after the orb fiasco. Not because he still loves Mystra but rather he realizes how much of a risk it brings. He himself calls himself a "menace" and that, for me, speaks volumes about his character. 

Ok, now onto the new parts, previously unavailable in the EA. 

I mentioned my reaction after the first talk with Elminster in another post, but I'll say it again: fuck Mystra. 

I was worried that there might not be a way to rid Gale of this cursed orb, I was bracing for the possibility that there might not be a happily-ever-after here. Because he seemed set on going along with Mystra's wishes, and I felt bad for standing between the man and his honest faith. Misguided, not fanatical, just honest faith.

I was thinking "yeah, this will probably happen at the end of the game, we'll cross that bridge when we get there". BUT… one moment we are fighting Kethric Thorm and the next Gale is ready to sacrifice himself. "Wait, it's too soon, it can't end like this, WHAT THE HELL is going on?" 

"Fun" fact? Gale can really do it from what I saw and it just… ends the game right there and then. I am not ever going to even consider that a viable option, for anyone. It just makes me sick thinking about it in hindsight.

So yeah, no, sorry Mystra, we are not going along with your stupid plan. It really feels like he went along with it in a shell shock state through the whole act II of the story and it made me feel so bad for him. Gale felt like a complete shadow of himself since his first talk with Elminster.

Can you look me in the eye and with a straight face tell me a man ready to die makes a whole fucking illusionary world for just the two of you, shows you his home, his safe place, tells you he loves you and gives you his all? Yeah, yeah, you can tell me "he doesn't want to regret anything", but that's the point! He already regrets so much, and that means he is not ready to become vapor!

So, in the style of Meredith Grey, we go all in with "choose me" and…wow, does he ever. It was like a switch went off, Gale instantly is back to his old self, already having a plan to make it all work. A terrible idea, worthy of the 10 wisdom stat, mind you, but an idea still.

Of course in the meantime we get another visit from Elminster, who drops a few - actually good! - words of wisdom Gale's way and says Mystra wants to talk. Of-fucking-course she wants to, her pet refused to die and she can't fathom why.

I know the talk can go differently depending on what you suggest him to say, I don't know if we can skip the talk altogether and what are the consequences of that, but on my first playthrough I actually encouraged him to seek forgiveness and the talk went… fucking awful if you ask me. Is there a honest to god good way to do this talk? 

Hated it when Mystra went all "oh yes, now that you are alive I'm not taking care of your orb until I send you on yet another suicide run, but don't worry - I believe in you, 'kay-thanks-bye!"

I guess this is faith for you - everything becomes a trial for it.

Moving on! The first big romance scene for act III of the story left me in emotional shambles.

In this moment Gale knows he wants to do *everything* and *anything* for us. He wants to gain power for us, to give us everything we deserve because if he gave Mystra his all he won't be holding back for us. And when we say we don't want it… you can see how absolutely devastated he is - up until he hears what we are really telling him.

"You are already everything I need you to be."

God, the animation here was so amazing, you can practically see the moment realization strikes him. He can live without Mystra, he can live without power, but he can't live without you. That he matters to someone, not for what he can do, but just… for him. And he was never loved that way, he himself says that, much to the dismay of my bleeding heart.

And that is that! Our story with Gale ends here, without a bang, but that is good. Gale is no longer the man he used to be, his ambitions now centered around a happy life with us. And I'm all giddy and teary-eyed for him. 

Mind you, the ending felt…rushed? But perhaps that's just me not ready to say goodbye after all this? The game ending is a dash of adrenaline and I felt like there was just not enough time to unwind after. Guess I need to headcanon the rest ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Either way, if you managed to stay to this point - a big thank you for reading!

[freebooter4ever]

ok slow day on the blog so im about to get all soppy and artsy. Because a) this man drives me insane and i continously try to figure out why slash justify it to myself and b) i am so obsessed right now with that one leg muscle that kinda goes flat when you sit but also is a key part of how to structure the leg when drawing. Blah blah blah hockey butts yeah great but what if... hockey inner thigh....

Ughhhhhhh kill me now.

Anyway im gonna adress a trend i have noticed in the pens fandom mostly displayed through passive aggression towards me or other creators...and that's the use of references. There seems to be this idea that using references is lazy or cheating or means that this person isn't making 'real' art. And im gonna call some bullshit. Every single artist since someone decided to paint their hand and try to recreate a cow on a cave wall with their thumb has used references. Talk to real commercial artists and they use WAY more references than you can imagine. My current job is super stylized and unique. But back when i worked in hyper realism on C*ll of Dooty and superheroes and stuff? Never not once did the illustrators not utilize references. Often us 3D artists were given a photo with a posed actor, which we used to pose the 3D model, which then was illustrated on top of directly by the illustrator. Those artists had to churn out hundreds of illustrations a month. They did not have time to get precious about it.

And lets talk about 'sourcing'. Yes, if you copy a photo directly almost pixel for pixel an artist should probably reveal their source. But so rarely is this the case. If you put any kind of spin on it - your own style, change the colors, add or subtract the background - that is YOUR art and there is no need to link to or include the damn 'source'. It's not a 'source' at that point. That would be like asking the amazing folks who photoshop artistic 'edits' together using photos and brushes to link to the original photos at the bottom of all their posts. This is just silly.

You want to know what commercial artists did before the internet? My old friend here has a studio from the 70s-2000s that has an entire wall full of neatly organized stacked drawers of printed references, a lot of it clipped from magazines and books. Each of them labeled by subject matter. And this artist worked in some of the most famous advertizing studios during that era.

So, coming back around to hockey thighs, because I know there are certain folks in the pe*ns fandom that get annoyed and angry at my daily drawings (which is so sad by the way, get a life). I have to admit this is the first time this has ever happened in a fandom so it threw me for a loop. But I also know there are younger artists out there who follow me so I want to explain my process a little. Most of my daily doodles are studies - its one of the reasons its been easier to do them during my illness than any more serious creative work. When i doodle i am looking at references and trying to recreate that as i see it. The key point being 'as i see it'. I am usually trying to learn things like: in this photo what about the lighting is compelling, and how can i make it more so? Or what is the focus of the drawing and how can i let the rest of it fade? Or whats the main gesture and how do i exaggerate that? And always, always im trying to study anatomy from new angles. For me its not enough to learn what a 'knee' looks like because the shape of the knee and the muscles around it change depending on how it's posed. And it is often those changes that make it so beautiful. Or in this case that beautiful sexy stretch of thigh between geno's knee and groin.

Often times if i imagine a 'pose' in my head, i will then go pull as many references as i can where the body's limbs are roughly arranged how i want it and then draw those over and over until i feel like i have enough of a grasp on that anatomy to recreate it for myself. So please, dont listen to the haters, use those references or dont use them freely. the haters are idiots who are projecting their own fear of inadequacy and learning to be creative onto you. <3

In my next essay i will discuss how baffled and humbled i am by the way my love for geno's face has utterly transformed my artistic eye...

[kisaraslover]

DO U HAVE ANY BLUESHIPPING FIC REC?????PLEASENIMSTARVINGKSKSKKS

anon kskkasak ITS FINE ILL SAVE YOU OK? here goes:

Scenes from a Kaiba Marriage and Temptation by my blueshipping queen @kisara-kaiba as the opening. the peak of modern life blueshipping fluff, very lovesick, when im reading them its heart full, head empty. youre gonna be lucky to start them now cuz ill be rereading and drawing scenes from them this week👀. itll be like premium fanfic reading.

Enjambment -> this fic might be the single best written blueshipping fic by the virtue of MIRRORING their encounter in ancient Egypt beat by beat, including BOTH of their character arcs and the netflix show vibe of suspense and the sharp, cold and bleak setting is chefs kiss. changed my brain chemistry. still one of my favorite portrayals of Kisara.

Maiden with Eyes of Blue -> Sometimes time needs to slow down and a single scene should be a character study/ hashing out of things you needed acknowledged by canon, the situation is ESPECIALLY dire for Seto Kaiba as ive made my feelings on his writing known many times. This is it. Kisara isnt reincarnated in this one though, but her love for him can be felt in the air. Ngl you could just incorporate this into post canon and it would be fine. canon compliant+ canon enriching.

Shades of Water, Ice, and Sky -> I'm skimming through each fic to see what they were about and i just gotta say: why so heart-wrenching if so short?? theyre in love your honor.

Their Promise: Book I -> ok gonna be honest w you i havent finished this one and the main reason is that i cant go past the SPECTACULAR first chapter. ive started and failed to draw it in its entirety. i open it, i chew on the first chapter like a rabid dog, i close it more often than not. the second reason is it has a lot more angst and heartbreak than most blueship fics do and im weak to that sort of thing. still, if we follow their ancient egypt encounter beat by beat, which is a fantastic way of following and enriching the canon, their first meeting needs to be as kids with him saving her from a cage. chefs kiss.

who are you? -> JUST the right amount of Seto Kaiba immediate fixation obsession on Kisara (which means insanely obsessed)

You Will Crave Your Ancient Roots -> this is so good and so heartbreaking man. Seto and Atem are shot back into ancient Egypt and Seto is only able to slightly alter the events around Kisara. hes fated to fall for that woman every single time and *starts sobbing*

Ancient Rules -> all i gotta say is this Seto Kaiba gives me brainworms. hes chuck full of Passion and Cockiness and Insanity. blueshippers sometimes take out his insanity. he is very unsettling here i love it. Kisara is truly at his mercy..

never forget your first dream -> fem!Set and Kisara in ancient Egypt, this story twists more than just Seto's gender. im a yuri seto truther so its great to have written proof of it. jokes aside, very well characterized Set and Kisara, rich writing.

One in Forty -> pretty short but this one fundamentally changed how i viewed Kisara's canon influence over BEWD cards and her constant and unbendable favor around Seto. canon compliant + canon enriching.

ok so these are the cream of the crop for ME personally, might have forgotten some in my other folders, i might have missed reading some, its probably not all encompassing. but frankly ive liked and saved fics for a single resounding line, single funny joke, one interesting implication about the story or the characters the author wrote up so in my heart theyre all worth checking out, always. fanfic writers are carrying this ship on their backs and theyre all 9 ft tall and im just walking around them, clearing the path, giving them a sip of water and snacks etc. so THANK YOU BLUESHIPPING AUTHORS I LOVE YOUUUUUU

[stitchwraith-stingers]

(some-what of) an analysis on patty possom(?)

inspired by this post on the PE-AZ yes this episode is my fave yes i unironically love patty yes i was a fnaf kid yes i am utterly deranged

some of these r incoherent because its midnight and i wanna post this as fast as possible before i go to bed and wake up at the crack at dawn

yayyy patty ^_^

one of the first things ive noticed post becoming alive like the next frankeinstine is that her eye wasnt fixed by the mechanics, which as ill discuss later imply a sort of negligence (? i think) to the properly, i however dgaf and like to interperate this as her having a lazy eye <3

she seems to be a genuially nice person!!!! um . i dont know how to continue this paragrapth pretend theres something here thats interesting

imagine being born into the world and already having a dreadful fear of being abandoned. crazy, mustve impacted her very hard

though this probably means it gave her fake memories or she was already sorta vaugely away of whats happening?? like psudo sentient?? if that makes sense, how the hell do you know this girl, you havent BEEN to the devils sacrament

the way she goes about it and the ending shows that she has no clue on how to socialize or their cues at all, or just cuz of the pov its intentionally shown as more creepy (which it probably is, you could hear her go "where r u going :(" in a sad tone), shes a massive werido and i love her for that

point is, shes nice but has no idea how to say "nooo dont leave me haha" normally cuz she just appeared 2 seconds ago with no idea of proper communication, does that make sense..... help

heres the thing i love about this the most, shes at the end of the ep shes seen dragging background character #47 in the same tone of voice and hes seen uncomfortable. PAN TO THE NEXT SLIDE IN WHICH THEY SEEM OK IN THEIR PRESENCE

LIKE . THE GUY JUST ACCEPTS HER HAND TO HOLD WHEN SHES SHOCKED..... THEY R BESTIES AND IM TIRED OF PPL OVERLOOKING IT, and the fact that i dont think we get to see him again (cuz they couldnt fit him anywhere in the background? i think) makes it better for me, balding old guy notices furry twice his size scared of being left alone so he decides to stay here just for her.... MANNN

the general area

lets see, were right off the bat were introduced to a good few places, the fun tunnels, the game zone, a claw machine thats rigged, the place with the signature snack which i wont go over because thats kinda of its own gag but its sticky and probably unhealthy, and the main stage

i assume the fun tunnels are made with a holograpthic effect inuniverse, and i think theres some LED lights in there to make it glow, i was going to say its polyethylene plastic but i dont think that exists google stock photos lied to me, also not related but it looks like a horrible spray paint job was done on this thing lol

also acording to the lyrics theres supposed to be 3 more members, a raccoon, cat and turtle . i dont think we see craggle in photo though rip (if theyre not a sphyinx ill be dissapointed), tyrone seems to have a 60's? aesthetic going on, rascal has a punk aesthetic going on and patty has a more modern aesthetic ? i think, the spiked collar is throwing me off

from winns dialouge in the start implying that they havent been here in a good while ("when i was little" ur in 5th grade) and the fact that their instruments are still there, then this was probably a recent desicion, or atleast long enough for a 10 y/o that hasnt been here in awhile to be upset by this and for patty to be immediatly spawned in with abandonment issues

along with a rigged claw machine and the snack i think it implies that the people over there who own this establishment are probably really cheap, and the fact that the PRAMBY snack is really sticky is definatly going to cause some health issues down the line, something something fazbear entertainment

oh and also, theres like a split second frame where this shows up, obviously its just there as a morbid joke but atleast it shows us this establishment is atleast old enough to have someones decaying body be bone by now, which after writing that makes me sound stupid because skeletonization might not take as long as i thought it would ("3 weeks to several years" depending on the surroundings)

whoever was there seemed to have been stuck for 25 days at least and has gone undetected, which means this place is linked to one unsolved missing persons case and they dont have a clue (most likely), also theres ballpit balls inside this thing i fucking guess?? theres no actual ballpit in the place idk what this kid was doing

i have tried to make up a map of how the place looks but im always bad with rooms ? and i had to take a fewwww small creative liberties with this cuz i couldnt figure out where theyd be but close enough👍👍

[solifloris]

SOOOOO i said i'd do a live reaction post for caleb's 5* cards.......(+ the cny one) EHFJSMNFBD disorganized as usual and mostly probably will be filled with keysmashes and random thoughts and maybe crying.... THIS IS ONGOING !!! AND WILL BE UPDATED AT RANDOM POINTS HEHE :D need to yap somewhere...

it took me. so much just to. get the courage to go through these cards WJDJWJBFH I'M WEAK OK!!!! I'M WEAK. THEY. TERRIFY ME BC OF WHAT I ALR KNOW FROM THE MAIN STORY AND THE MYTH 😭😭😭😭 it's the burden of knowledge i swear to you .... caleb makes me so damn emotional 😭

THIS IS PART ONE OF UHHH IDK HOW MANY PARTS WE'LL SEE HOW MY IMG LIMIT GOES BUT.

for reference !!!!!! order being : endless summer -> exclusive aftertaste -> hidden waves -> painful signal -> intertwined gold ; based on this post hehe :3

LETS GOOO <3

1; endless summer!!!!!!! :D

omygod..... ohhmygod.... the melancholy the nostalgia the 😭😭😭

OUGH so it's really after the main story 😭😭😭😭��

"i wonder what caleb is doing now..." she wants to talk to him :( they wanna talk it out :(((( BUT THE DISTANCEEEE THE :(((( HUHUHU

THE HYDRANGEAS :(

omfg bc the way i can see this unfolding like a ghibli movie...

WHY IS THIS SO KIKI'S DELIVERY SERVICE HUHU

OMG CALEB 😭😭😭😭😭

help 😭😭😭 LOWKEY KABEDON??? baby please 😭😭😭

WHFJJWHF THE TENSION THE AWKWARDNESS THE WAY SHE AVERTS HER GAZE

"why are you back in linkon?" THE FIRST THING SHE SAYS WHFJJS i feel you girl i feel you 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

"i just happened to be passing by" -caleb ; "i was just passing by" -xavier 😭

OUGH 😭😭😭😭 THIS TUGGED AT MY HEARTSTRINGS IM :((( HNNNN :(((

"i happened to be passing by" SHE SAID IT BACK TO HIMMMMMMMMM

UGH IM GONNA SOB 😭 THE HESITATION IN REACHING OUT TO HER :(( THE WAY HE DOESNT RUFFLE HER HAIR ANYMOREEE UUUUUUUUEEEEEE im huhuhu....

"All my thoughts are focused on him, and the incessant cacophony of cicada chirps adds to my restlessness." / "I wonder what he's been up to while we were away from each other..." <- IM SO. FUCKING SICK TO MYSTOMACHHHHHHH (/POS)

it's so 😭😭😭 gosh im a broken record but my HEART 😭 just 😭

i think what always hits so hard with caleb is that.... all of his happened in the same timeline... their childhood together, the events of chapter 4, the here and now that we're seeing and then all the moments inbetween........... we get to experience all this awkwardness and the distance and the changes in realtime 😭 bc both of them remember their shared history 😭 it's like... "i knew you once..." but it feels more real.......

i think the caleb/mc story really captures the struggle of reuniting with someone from your past after a long time 😭 the feelings are very raw

ANYWAY,

OoOOOOH FY-26!!! AWWWH 😭 THE DIRECT REFERENCE TO ONE OF HIS 4*S HUHU 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

!!!! THE FLASHBACK IMMM SOBBINNNGGGGGF 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 "ILL BRING YOH WITH ME WE'LL FLY WHEREVER AND WHENEVER YOU WANT" UUUUUUUUEEEE

"and you've gone from being a pilot to colonel now." "It doesn't matter what a person's role is. Everyone has moments where they're not in control." OH MY GOD????? 😭😭😭😭 WHFJWNFBSJ THE IMPLICATIONS BEHIND THIS????? everyone has moments where they're not in control... oh MAN... caleb sweetie baby beloved 😭😭😭😭😭😭

"Our conversation abruptly ends. Once again, our surroundings are engulfed by a quietness accompanied by loud cicada chirps." THEEEE AWKWARDNEESSSSSS 😭😭😭😭😭

LIKE OK. OK;! DO YOU KNOW HOW PAINFUL. JUST

THIS IS A PERSON YOUVE HAD 9284828572885828583 EASYGOING CONVERSATIONS WITH. A PERSON YOU USED TO KNOW BY HEART. A PERSON YOU SPENT MAYBE HALF OR MORE OF YOUR LIFE WITH. AND NOW. NOW YOU CANT EVEN HOLD A CONVERSATION ANYMORE THEY JUST DONT FLOW THAT WELL ANYMORE. YOU CANT LOOK AT EACH OTHER PROPERLY ANYMORE. 😭 JUST THE. THE LOSS OF IT?????? THAT RELATIONSHIP YOU ONCE SHARED WITH THIS PERSON????? IS NO LONGER THE SAME???

DO YOU

THE ATTACHMENT MC MUST FEEL

THE PAIN THAT MC AND CALEB MUST FEEL, BOTH

IT'S NOT THE SAME ANYMORE 😭😭😭😭😭 THAT SHIT HURTS BRO 😭😭😭😭

also a side note i hate cicadas they give me anxiety 😭 i know theyre a sign of summer but ugh i 😭

(but. thats a biased opinion cause. im entomophobic 😭)

ANYWAY,

I CANF DO THIS

whxjanndnHFBWNFBSBBFBSBFBSBBFBSDHSNFBBSBFBSHG

SHES RECALLING SO MANY MEMORIES FROM THEIR PAST 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 JUST. THE FACT THAT. SHE. SHES AROUND CALEB AND ITS ALL SHE CAN THINK ABOUT FHWNNFHW THE SIMILARITY OF THESE MOMENTS BUT THEN SHE COMES TO THE REALIZATJON THAT. AGAIN. THINGS. ARENT. THE. SAMRBGHEJJGBE

THE SODA 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 truly though mc was spoiled with him... he did so much for her always did everything for her would give in to her 😭😭😭😭😭😭 UGHHH IM SICKKKKKK (/pos)

"Kids are always like that... They're brave because of their curiosity. Or they hesitate to try out new things because they're afraid of the unknown." there is something profound in this line. there is something there. BUT MY BRAIN IS MUSH WHFJSJNFBSF

i am so sorry. i read Quirkies as quickies and had to do a double take.

SEE 😭 SEEE 😭 SHE'S REMINISCING AGAIN 😭😭😭😭😭😭

"I finish half the bottle in one swig. The sweetness washes over my tongue and erases the lingering bitterness in my mouth." ITS GIVING ORANGE BY ICHIGO TAKANO 😭😭😭😭 STOP WJFKWJFH THIS MANGA BROKE MY HEART. AND IT. IT HAS A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART BUT IT WAS GUT-WRENCHING. AND I CANTNNDJFJTJGJDNFHSJFJJSJFJS LIKE WAIY

SEE LOOK. LOOK. ITS THE SAME RIGHT. LOOK

ok anyway

"i give him the bottle. i always did that whenever we shared food as kids. 'caleb, here...'" "..." <- THE SILENCE?????? SEEEEE SHE REMINISCES AGAIN AND THEN. AND THEN. ITS LIKE THE BOTH REALIZE 'ah, we're doing this again...' or 'ah, it's this again...' WHENGBHENGTHEY KNOW THE CONTEXT IS DIFFERENT THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS DIFFERENT AND. AND. AND

YOU GET ME RIGHT IM MAKINF SENSE RIGHT

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

wait cause i went back to do the "no" option for the Quirkies and 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

"can you pick one for me?" / "why should i be scared? you already gave me something sweet." IM SOBBING????? 😭😭😭😭 it's so "you're all i need anyway" coded..... UGH i love him

OMG TARA??????

CALEB 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

STOOOOPPP 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

if we attach this to the main story and how it ended.... :(

he just automatically assumes "oh yeah, she should hang out with her friends its ok shes probably not gonna want to spend so much time with me right now" LIKE 😭 THE WAY HE OFFERS HER A RIDE? 😭😭😭 THE "I'LL GO BACK TO SKYHAVEN"?????? 😭😭😭😭 MC IS LIKE "you dont have to" AND HE GOES "is it inconvenient for your colleague to meet me" LIKE HE JUST 😭 ASSUMES SHE WANTS TO LEAVE 😭😭😭😭

CALLBACK TO THE SAFE HAVEN AFFINITY 51 CALL 😭😭😭😭 “even if he’s the worst version of all the calebs from then to now, you still want him?” THE DISBELIEF IS HERE AGAIN HE JUST 😭 ASSUMES THE WORST 😭

OGH... he knows he overstepped so much in the main story he knows he hurt her he knows he made her uncomfy... he said he wouldn't bother her anymore and he's keeping that statement to be true bc he thinks itll make her feel better 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

HES TRYING SO HARD 😭😭😭 HE JUST WANTS TO MAKE HER HAPPY 😭😭😭 EVEN IF IT MEANS HAVING HIM OUT OF THE PICTURE NOW, DESPITE HOW MUCH HE JUST WANTS TO BE ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF HER AGAIN 😭😭😭😭

FUCK IT IDT WE'RE EVEN HALFWAY THROUGH THE CARD YET BUT IM EMOTIONAL AS FUCK

"i never said i was leaving" and he's so SHOCKED 😭 AND HE 😭 HE SMILES!!! HE SMILESSSS :((( UUUUU HE'S SO HAPPY 😭😭😭😭 HE JUST 😭 HE WANTED A LITTLE BIT OF APPROVAL FROM HER 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

IF WHEN WE LEFT OFF ON THE MAIN STORY THEY HAVENT BEEN TALKING... SO HE JUST ASSUMES YEAH SHE DOESNT WANT TO BE AROUND ME... AND NOW!!! NOW HE GETS THIS LITTLE BIT OF RELIEF THAT MAYBE SHE DOESNT HATE ME SO INTENSELY...

"He stoops down to adjust the water flow. When he gets up and meets my gaze again, his expression is noticeably softer." <- SOFTER!!! SOFTERRRR IT'S SOFTERRR 😭 HE'S BEEN SO TENSE BUT NOW!! NOW HE'S SO RELIEVED!!! 😭😭😭😭 HE'S SOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

just. THE FHWKBGHEJF i knowwwwww he feels guilty about how he treated her in the main story 😭 and hes trying to make it up to herrrrr 😭😭😭😭😭

caleb saying TLC was not on my bingo card LMFAO BUT ALRIGHT

"'Every day and every night, I'm surrounded by Skyhaven machines. I rarely get to see stuff like this. Even in my dreams, I sometimes hear the roar of warships and blaring emergency alarms.' The corners of Caleb's mouth subtly tense. His brow furrows for only a moment." oh my poor poor baby 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 the things he must go through there daily... all the work... always busy... and he says this about the things that he sees... after that thing he said? "why should i be scared? you already gave me something sweet." AND THE LINE HE HAS IN THE CAFE WHEN YOU TURN AWAY AND HE TURNS TO YOU..!!!!!! "they say sunflowers always face the sun, i guess it's because trying to find warmth is normal. i'm not an exception to that rule." ITS LIKE :( LIKE HES SAYING :( THE WORLD WITHOUT HER IN SKYHAVEN IS COLD :( AND HE FINDS WARMTH WITH HER :( HERE IN LINKON :(((((

OMYGOD AND THE

DUDE THE LINES IN THIS

IM GOINF INSANE

"She's a regular at the store. She holds my hand and gives me heartfelt words to relay to the owner. Maybe the reluctance to say goodbye to places that hold cherished memories is a feeling all humans have." MC PLEASEEEE 😭😭😭😭

AUGH 😭

so i think. truly. that theyre really just......... :( theyre struggling to move into the present :(

both of them are attached to something of the past... caleb, to how much she used to always depend on hin without qualms... mc, to how he used to be more playful and caring and considerate and warm towards her, and not this cold person who hides things from her and is more forceful about things... just something about both of them craving the relationship they used to have but

BUT THEYRE. THEYRE NOT THE SAME PEOPLE ANYMORE 😭 THEY BOTH GREW UP... BOTH HAVE DIFFERENT SITUATIONS AND DIFFERENT ENVIRONMENTS.... AND THEY DONT KNOW HOW TO NAVIGATE THATTTTT

AND MC IS LIKE :( IT'S HARD TO SAY GOODBYE :(

BC SHES SO ATTACHED TO THE IDEA OF THE CALEB FROM BEFORE THAT SHE'S MORE USED TO.... AND SHES LIKE... HES SO IMPORTANT TO ME AND I HAVE TO UNDERSTAND HIM MORE BUT IT'S SO HARD TO SAY GOODBYE ITS HARD TO ACCEPT AND MOVE ON AND SHES 😭😭😭😭😭😭 SHES STRUGGLING WITH THAT!!!😭

I HAVE NO DOUBT ITS THE SAME FOR CALEB'S CASE TOO.....

OH SHIT FUCK KINDLED OMYGODJGHEJF OK OK

OH :( HE ZNNN? :( BUT HE LOOKS SO TENSE :(

OUGH MC NOTICESSSS 😭😭😭😭😭

MY POOR BABY IS HAVING A NIGHTMARE 😭

"don't go" NOOOO CALEBB HUHU 😭😭😭😭😭 OUGHHH HE'S BEEN MASKING SO MUCH 😭😭😭😭 HIS PARTING WITH MC AFFECTED HIN SO MUCH 😭😭😭😭

HIS EYES 😭 THE PUPPY EYES 😭😭😭😭

"don't leave me alone" HES PRACTICALLY BEGGING HER 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 IM SO SICK RN I FEEL SO SICKKKK 😭😭😭😭 (/pos)

?!!?!?

?!?!?!

WAS HE GOING TO KISS HER IM SCREAMINF

???? DID HE THINK HE WAS DREAMING? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

"caleb?!" AND THE WAY HE JUMPS LIKE HE REALIZES WHAT HE'S DOING 😭😭😭😭 "sorry. i didn't mean to scare you" AAAUUUGHGHGHGHH 😭😭😭😭😭😭

HES SO CONCERNED

HE DOESN'T

HE DOESNT WANT TO REPEAT THE THING HE DOESNT WANT TO HURT HER AGAIN HE DOESN'T WANT TO SCARE HER OR MAKE HER HATE HIM OR DISLIKE HIM MORE THAN SHE COULD AFTER WHAT HE DID 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

BUT HE WANTS HER SO BADDDDDD 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

its so practiced.

it's SO practiced.

he's probably learned from a long time ago how to mask 😭 it's morethan practiced it's MASTERED 😭 his expression changes 😭 the puppy eyes go to his usual expression... the maybe slightly exasperated slightly amused kind of eyes—bc he CHANGES THE SUBJECT to the thing supposedly in her eye 😭😭😭😭😭

caleb is so.... you see throughout that he's simultaneously mastered the art of masking but also it slips sometimes... around her... but its so subtle that mc doesnt notice it herself WJDJSJJDJWHFH

THIS THOUGH 😭 like in that one myth kindled....... he schools his expression and talks about something else... it's so practiced...

caleb, please :(

AUGHHH

this scene 😭

THIS SCENE 😭

i justtt 😭😭😭😭😭

the way his hand trembles... the mask falls... his brows are furrowed and he looks at her so intensely and you can see you can FEEL the longing 😭😭😭😭😭

he probably hasnt genuinely touched her like this in forever... not so vulnerably...

THERES A SPACE BETWEEN THEM LIKE HES TRYING HIS BEST TO NOT BE IN HER PERSONAL BUBBLE, HES GIVING HER SPACE TO MOVE AWAY IF SHE WANTS TO, HE'S KEEPING THIS RESPECTFUL DISTANCE THATS JUDT 😭

THE CARESS

THE SILENCE THE WAY THEY STARE AT EACH OTHER THE

UUUUUU

HUHUHU

IM GONNA SOB SO HARD

A BEAT AND HE LOOKS AWAY AND *PULLS* AWAY AND AND AND

MC

YOUCAN SEE HER

DISAPPOINTMENT

HE PULLS HIS HAND AWAY AND HER OWN CURLS INTO ITSELF A LITTLE LIKE SHES

SHE DIDNT WANT HIM TO PULL AWAY :( ITS THAT FEELING OF LOSS AGAIN... for a moment they felt close again and then he pulls back and puts the distance BACK 😭😭😭😭

AND THE WAY HE LOOKSSO GUILTY ABOUT GETTING CLOSE :( AUGHHHHHHHHH

SHE CLOSES THE DISTANCE FOR HIM INSTEKFJEHGBE IMM SOBBINGGGG 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

UUUUUUU

HIS EXPRESSION

HES SO

:((((

HE LOOKS LIKE HE WANTS TO CRYYY :((((

UGH THE WAY HE PULLS HER BACK 😭 BUT 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 HE CANT LOOK AT HER 😭😭😭😭

he's so hesitant to be this vulnerable with her? :(

HUHU THEYRE!!!!!!! :((((((((((( THEYRE SLEEPING ON THE FLOOR TOGETHER 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

THE REMINISCING...

OUGH MY HEART 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 THEYRE TALKING ABOUT IT... TJE WAY THE MAIN STORY ENDED, THE...

"would you have not come back to see me?"

SHE DOESNT LIKE THE DISTANCE!! 😭 LIKE HOW SHE WAS DISAPPOINTED HE PULLED AWAY 😭😭😭😭😭😭

IM ILL 😭😭😭😭

IM SO

MY HEART

ITS SO

ITS LIKE KTS BEING SQUEEZED

WHAT THE HELL IM TEARING UP RN 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

IM. THROWJNF UPPPP

"and so another summer begins" OUGH

IM SICK

I AM ILL

PLEASEJEJFBEH IMFJSJJF OHMYGODDDDDDFDFDDDDDDDDDDD

THIS WAS BEAUTIFUL??? I. I LOVE THIS CARD 😭😭😭😭😭 UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I LOVE THIS MAN WHAT THE HELL 😭😭😭😭😭😭

maybe..this card... i love it almost as much as floral blessing...this is how much it means to me.............

ANYWAY IM POSTING THIS LIKE THIS AND GOING TO BED AND!! WILL CONTINUE FURTHER DOWN THE POST WITH EXCLUSIVE AFTERTASTE... TOMORROW !! :D

[catchingbigfish]

writeblr re-introduction | catchingbigfish

hi! call me elle (they/them). i'm in my 30s, work adjacent to the legal field in my day job, and i'm studying for my MA in english! i post more about my life over at my main, @prettytothink-so, which is also the account i follow from!

i'm a david lynch obsessive, hence the url/pfp, but i love death bed: the bed that eats as much as i do blue velvet. my primary literary influences are shirley jackson, carmen maria machado, janet fitch, confessional poets, and more recently, a healthy dose of knausgaard.

i write prose & poetry with a heavy emphasis on the body, the darker sides of life, and relationships. my fiction is character-centric, driven by ensemble casts of weird and fucked up people, and characters tend to go through exquisite and grotesque things like body horror, warped and broken time, hauntings, posessions, and sex. my work is definitely 18+ and i try not to engage with minors.

i'd love to get to know other writers, esp if you write/read any of the following:

dysfunctional relationships (particularly with ensemble casts and found or of-origin families)

horror and gothic literature

body horror, nightmares, and dream logic

romance, including sex, and relationships, esp. in horror themes

i like to say i'm always open to ask + tag games, but i'm most likely to respond to an ask game than a tag! if you wanna know more about my wips, see below the cut for my primary projects or check out my wip masterlist:

click the titles for the wip intros!

conversion

status: drafted (80k words); w/ beta readers short synopsis: Rosalyn arrives to campus for her MFA in fashion-making and falls into a group of sick women artists bonded by a disputed diagnosis. She starts faking it to fit in, finds the friendships she'd always wanted, and ends up with a choice between the unthinkable and her new ride-or-die crew.

dark academia/litfic/cult novel. this project has had me in a chokehold for 18+ months and it's the most fun i've ever had writing something. stay tuned for my query journey, coming to you probably near the end of this year!

might've been, never was

status: drafted (55k words) short synopsis: Lily and her friends thought their thirties would be different. They find a way to adopt new bodies, but one of them takes it too far, and the rest have to decide whether to stop her or join in.

a satire in the same vein as conversion. currently vying with the next two WIPs for main focus while betas work through conversion. project playlist is 2 songs: teen idle and celebrity skin. the closest i'll ever come to autofiction because the idea to write "a love letter to being mentally ill in your 30s" came up when i was a teensy bit manic.

seed of the woman

status: drafted (27k words) short synopsis: A woman goes on a Christian yoga retreat hoping to return to some sense of her self. Instead, she's bitten by a snake and goes on a tour through the choices that led her here.

body horror/religious horror novella. nightmare/dream-logic story that's my latest attempt to write something explaining how rational and reasonable a choice it would be for a woman to choose satan over god.

on fire

status: drafting short synopsis: Elissa wakes up one day after being cheated on with the power to consume creative energy from men she seduces.

the novella i conceived on december 21 and outlined and zero drafted on december 24. very similar to SOTW in structure (based on the outline template i made for it, in fact) and similar in its feminine-rage-in-a-magical-realist-world themes; inspired by the baobhan sith figure, the MC is kind of a succubus/vampire/cannibal mix. set at the same university as conversion! i stole this title from a terrible novel i wrote at 19 btw. the emphasis is on "on", like "a treatise on", not being lit on fire. it is very pretentious.

heartbeat

status: outlining short synopsis: A coming-of-age saga about a nonbinary kid who realizes not every carries their heart outside of their body and struggles to figure out what to do with it.

kind of an epic saga in the style of middlesex where a nonbinary kid has to learn to deal with being different, grows into an adult with no coping skills, and all of the dysfunctional family dynamics you would anticipate with me writing it