#will no one think of the birds

[sufficientlyantique]

Will no one think of the birds?

I've been browsing US American news and a couple of legacy media reportages counselled "good riddance" to wind turbines and a solar boiler because, to paraphrase, they kill birds.

My humorous thoughts to myself were, "but birds aren't real!"

After a chuckle at absurdist jokery, the thought kept nagging at me. The appeal, from strange quarters, to think of the impact of power generating technology on the natural world. "Oh, the innocent little birdies, murdered by those cruel people who say they want to stop climate change! But look at what they're doing! So mean! So awful! I don't want to be like them!"

The loudest voices are usually disingenuous. But there is a kernel of truth : wind turbines can be loud and yes, they kill animals, and the solar boiler project did kill a lot of wildlife and was very dangerous.

But.

it's unfortunate that human technology impacts the natural world. I wish it didn't, and I hope we take measures to reduce the impacts. But I can also say that birds and bees and people die every day because of human technology. That people and animals die around green technology is regrettable. And inevitable. Animals and people die around nuclear plants, hydro plants, gas turbines, photovoltaic sites, transmission wires, transformers, and just because shit happens randomly. By itself, that is not a reason to regard a technology as evil, or that it shouldn't be done.

The goal of both wins and solar generators is to stop burning hydrocarbons and stop killing all living things. And yes, I'm pretty sure that lots of people thought of the birds and the bees and the people via a common, public process called the environmental impact study. And the result of said study was to minimize the risks and ensure things could change if problems were identified. So we who supported these projects did think of the birds. And so did the US American people who wrote environmental and energy law.

Beyond that, people like me who believe the evidence for climate change, who would like future generations of life on earth to exist, also think of the birds -- both present and future, and we also think of the children.

[hawkpartys]

i think of this image approximately every day of my life

Magellanic Penguin (Spheniscus magellanicus) observation by kiwikiu

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Hey now, Let her cook!

[humming-fly]

Team Dark Week Day 6 - We love a good view at the end of a hike~

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[kedreeva]

You kill your birds? I thought you loved animals...

I do love animals. I breed quail for meat and eggs, and that means that yes, I kill some of my birds, just as I kill some of my mice who are unsuitable for pet homes or unnecessary for breeding, just as I have sent overtly aggressive peafowl that would be dangerous to other birds or humans home with someone to be dinner.

Loving animals and understanding meat source animals must be killed to be eaten and that domesticated husbandry requires some amount of hard culling for the benefit of the breeding program and species as a whole are not mutually exclusive ideas. It is my job to give my animals good, proper care, enrichment, and love until their time in this world is over (for some that's sooner than others), to ensure that death is as humane as possible, and to ensure that as little as possible goes to waste after.

And almost nothing here does go to waste; offal or unusable parts goes to the crows and other scavengers I feed at the front of the house (and in turn they chase off nosy hawks and eagles), meat gets eaten, bones get used to make stock and then composted for the garden. Mouse culls and quail feeder culls (quail hatched specifically to be feeders for other animals) almost all go to reptile owners who want ethically sourced animals kept in better conditions/fed better feed (the exception is when Bug eats some of them instead). And the two times I have ever had to cull aggressive peafowl, they both went to a hunting family that made use of the meat.

Additionally, on several occasions now, I have been called upon by others to help euthanize their fowl friends. Strangers who couldn't afford a vet bill but wanted to put an end to their bird's suffering. Strangers that knew it needed to be done but couldn't do it themselves, or that didn't know how. I have taught others how to do cervical dislocation in case the need arrives ever again, so the bird doesn't have to wait. I have held sobbing owners who thanked me for being able to do what they couldn't even when they knew it was necessary. And yes, I have demonstrated the butchering process to folks who want quail meat, so that I know they're giving a quick, humane end to their birds.

Death is a part of life. When you raise purpose animals, death is going to be a part of the deal at some point.

It doesn't mean I love them any less while they're here, or in general.

[inbabylontheywept]

Soviet Birds.

The secret facility that I work in has holes in the ceiling. We don't know how to get them fixed.

We tried asking the government to fix it, once. We told them that the holes in the older parts of the facility had gotten large enough to fit birds through, and that birds were getting through, and that, perhaps, a Soviet Spy could fit through as well.

After all, it is well known that Soviet Spies and pigeons are approximately the same diameter.

Our hope was that that this vague and nonsensical threat would put a little fire under Uncle Sam's feet. If the fed couldn't be bothered to give a shit about the giant gaping holes in the roof of our facility, perhaps they could be persuaded to give a shit about... Soviet Spies.

This attempt at manipulation 100% blew up in our faces.

See, the government does not need to be persuaded to give a shit about Soviet Spies. It still wakes up most nights, drenched in cold sweat, terrified and confident that a Soviet Spy is hiding in their nightstand. If it sees a rock on the ground, it flips it over, pistol drawn, ready to shoot the Soviet Spy it fully expects to slither out from underneath. Which is to say: The government is crazy. So when we dropped those two words - inflitration risk - in the repair request, they came in guns-a-blazin'.

Does that mean that they fixed the roof? Of course not. Don't be stupid. No, instead of performing basic maintenance, they installed a state of the art alarm system throughout the facility - lasers, sonar, the works - and told us to always be on the guard. Because of the roof holes.

Then they left.

So now we had an extremely good alarm system... and birds. Which have combined in incredibly obvious and predictable ways to produce an unending fountain of problems.

For Example: About once a month, someone gets called in by the local airforce dispatch because AAAAAAAAAAA a Spy is in the Rad Lab! We're all gonna die! Except every time, it's a bird. And I get why we have to check, but every time, the dispatcher is panicked and the person going out has to be like listen, listen: It's a bird. It's always a bird. It's been a bird every month for the last fifteen years. It will be a bird next month. All this stress? Bad for your heart.

Second Example: Sometimes, birds get in while we're actually working. And when it's in the morning, you know, it's a nuisance, and it stops testing (we are not going to risk irradiating a bird) but it's not an all-hands-on-deck situation because it doesn't take ten hours to get a bird out. But surprisingly often, the bird gets in riiiiight at closing time, and in that situation, everyone goes feral because nobody can leave until the alarm is set, and we cannot set the alarm while the bird is there, because the bird would immediately trigger it and then we'd have to stay another 4 hours to confirm that it was not a Soviet Bird.

So in order to go home, everyone's top priority is Get That Bird. And we have a system for it.

Step 1: The test stands tend to be located in rooms with 30+ foot ceilings. We can't catch birds in places like that - so we have to lure the bird into the relatively low ceilinged (8 feet only) upper offices.

We do this by turning all the lights off in the test rooms, then putting floodlights by the exits. I don't know why this works - some kind of evolutionary brain fragment shared by both Bugs and Birds - but work it does. The birds almost always follow after the lights. From there, it’s just two guys moving the floodlight and a third guy to turn off the lights.

Step 2: Everyone else has been waiting for this step. There is this long stairway up from the basement level into the offices, and in the final stage, the floodlights are brought to the base of the stairwell to bring the bird up. At the top of the steps there will be a group of tennish people, waiting for the signal. The light guys will set up the final transfer, everyone will tense, and then, swish...a bird will flit up the stairs and into the offices.

It's like watching werewolves on a full moon. Before the bird cometh, we are engineers. Nerds. Pale and skinny things, trembling under the fluorescent lights. After the bird, we are beasts. Feral, gnawing things, glowing under the orange sunrise of the 70's halogen floodlights.

And like all beasts, we cannot help but give chase.

Step 3: The were-engineers begin the hunt. The goal at the start is not really to catch the bird - just exhaust it. So the pack simply does not relent. Because the stakes are going home on time, the group is basically given free reign to go anywhere in the building. If someone's door is open, and the bird goes inside, they're going to have to deal with ten sweaty panting maniacs leaping around their office. They don't get to say that they're busy, or remark on how all this movement is a terrible distraction. They are allowed to sit in silence during the chaos, and perhaps thank the war party for chasing the bird while they sat comfortably on their ass. This has been explained several times, and it will continue to be explained until cooperation is achieved.

Anyway.

The chase can go on for quite some time. Sometimes, the bird will get tired and find a crevice to hide in, where it can then be reached through standard cornered-bird catching techniques.

Other times, it will slow down enough that someone can actually yoink it out of the air. But this will go on until someone catches the bird and triggers Step 4.

Step 4: The Finale. This is the get-the-bird-out-of-the-building stage, and it requires someone to adopt a specific role: To Become the Sacrificial Vessel of Bird Removal.

This job is both coveted and feared. It's coveted, because holding a wild bird in one's hands is a precious thing. To feel how small, and fragile, and scared it is, only to free it from the building? That is what it's like to be a benevolent God. But the cost! Oh, the cost. The entire time the Vessel is in motion, the bird will be biting the hell out of their fingers. And I cannot emphasize enough just how painful bird bites are. Their entire face is a set of needle posed pliers, and they know tricks the even the cartels haven't figured out yet. So there's always a little hubbub about who shall be The Vessel while onlookers, stranded outside The Office of Bird Capture, can only look on. Quiet arguments and pleas are heard, little fragments of fear and pride and glory trickling out of room like the silver dust left behind in a bag of well shook quarters. The sound of concensus is silence, and the argument will go on until that's all that's left. And then, from the darkness of the final office, the chosen sacrifice will step forward: Hands gently cupped, tears streaming down their face, fingers trembling from the pain of the ongoing bird chomps.

And this scene is what organizes people. Not leadership, not truly. No one can think and coordinate a crowd while their fingers are being attacked with a combination nutcracker/ear piercer. But the crowd sees the suffering of their annointed, and it is driven to do everything poossible to make the process flow. People instinctively flair out, finding the fastest path outside. Doors are held open. Paths are cleared. Someone, somehow, always knows the way forward and can describe it to the sufferer. Left, left, forward. Corner closet. Yep, there's a hall in there. Forward. Two-hundred more feet man, you're doing great. Just hold it together a little longer. You're killing it.

Then the final door swings open, and the bird flees out into what remains of daylight. And yet, even here, the deed is not yet done. I cannot explain it in words, but the crowd that helped is never content until they can see and speak on the Bird Vessel's wounds. They all have to pull the fingers back and see what was given. Estimate the price: One day to get better - No, three - No, a week! Are you blind? Do you see that blood blister? -Yeah, that's not going away anytime soon - Damn, can you believe how feisty those things are? Like wolves without teeth.

(They cannot help but touch as they go. It has always been this way. Even Thomas was not content until he felt the wounds in Christ's hands.)

Only when the last of the helpers has seen, and commented, and commended, will the engineers scatter. It is their return from the underworld that announces to the sun living surface dwellers that they too can go home. (@somerunner tolja it needed to be a post.)

[frownyalfred]

thinking about how the Batkids must be SO tired of the Batman hero worship from the other Titans, JL members, sidekicks, etc. there's people literally falling over themselves to meet Batman in a Watchtower hallway, meanwhile they actually know Bruce, and Bruce just made them memorize backup codes to all of their major security systems in the Cave for three hours because Hal Jordan made an offhanded hacking joke at their League meeting earlier that day.

[keeskiwi]

So much more of the natural world feels close and accessible now. When I started birding, I remember thinking that I’d never see most of the species in my field guide. Sure, backyard birds like robins and western bluebirds would be easy, but not black skimmers or peregrine falcons or loggerhead shrikes. I had internalized the idea of nature as distant and remote — the province of nature documentaries and far-flung vacations. But in the past six months, I’ve seen soaring golden eagles, heard duetting great horned owls, watched dancing sandhill cranes and marveled at diving Pacific loons, all within an hour of my house. “I’ll never see that” has turned into “Where can I find that?”

-Ed Yong, When I Became a Birder, Almost Everything Else Fell Into Place

[dailybirdscuzbird]

Tricolored Heron

[linkedin-offficial]

me when i get the opportunity to think about speculative biology and non-existent game mechanics in media i like

⠀

[teethburied]

rust + hallucinations

[tawnysoup]

two new critters just dropped

[applestruda]

*redesigns my grian the night before the new hc season*

[magic-worms]

so like i did not expect at all for my tf2 baboon post to get so popular or to see a ton of new followers from it. but that’s what happened. i can’t believe you guys like isa so much

you like her?? my little baby monkey?? my seven year old sweet little baby typing monkey??? well you’re in luck because i like her too and i haven’t been able to stop drawing her. here’s some family doodles

+ a couple scoutlings ^_^

[oh-no-its-bird]

Early Konoha, Madara researches Senju tradition in order to send Tobirama what basically amounts to hate mail in flower form— but the Senju flowers language is updated every time there's a new Mokuton user, and so his information is incredibly out of date.

What he actually manages to send Tobirama is a very romantic bouquet that speaks of years of yearning, wishes for passion, and forbidden love

Tobirama, who is allergic to normal human communication, very coldly (shyly, in that odd way of his) replies with his own bouquet of quiet, slow love, a confession given in secret, and willingness to give chance to new beginnings.

Only to Madara it reads as returning his "fuck you" bouquet, and he of course replies in kind

Tobirama thinks they're having a forbidden, secret, slow burn romance

Madara thinks they're sending eachother hate mail (and if the Senju is getting more oddly tolerable these days,, we'll, he's not going to stop with his spiteful flowers. That'd mean admitting his loss!)

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]